Tumgik
#like don’t even think ab it
stuckinapril · 4 months
Text
friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
6K notes · View notes
brookheimer · 9 months
Text
none of y’all ever talked enough about how fucking insane the choice of famous blue raincoat by leonard cohen was for connor’s karaoke song
277 notes · View notes
natsarrownecklacx · 3 months
Text
Seeing so many fics now not have many comments but so many notes really frustrated/ saddens me :/
people deserve to be told their works is good, that silly line they threw into the third paragraph referencing that show / movie was noticed, that they did not waste their time working on free entertainment for us.
It’s just so frustrating to click into a fic with a good few hundred notes and the only comments are “part two” or “tag in next part” cause like? How about some appreciation for what we already gave you before you start asking for something else that you’ll probably just disregard aswell?
38 notes · View notes
fluffydice · 1 month
Text
HOLY SHIT Say I’m the Best (Bow to Your Princess #1) reached 1,000 kudos, what the fuck,,, that’s so cool. I know not everyone who reads my fics is on tumblr, but to those who are, thank you so much <3 everything you guys do motivates me to create
19 notes · View notes
Text
All the gomens girls freaking out over the leak are so funny to me because. Listen I’m on season 3 of supernatural on my first watch. But also I’m on tumblr—LITERALLY spn central. Like if I were to log onto this bitchsite thinking I wasn’t going to get spoilers I would be in for a TERRIBLE surprise bc that’s what the internet is besties!!! It’s ok u won’t die!!! Anyway if u want to know what the leak is u can message me I found it on the bird app
100 notes · View notes
starship-squalleater · 9 months
Text
There’s something that’s been bothering me about this ‘should we save the gods’ discourse and I think it’s the strange conflation of christianity and the pantheon of exandria. As in, the complaints that people (the pcs) are airing against the gods as reasons to not help them (”what did the gods ever do for me”, “the gods should have intervened in order to help me but they didn’t”) are not reasons that I think can be applied to the gods of exandria? 
Exandria’s pantheon is not all knowing or all powerful or all good, and they don’t claim to be. If someone is in trouble and they don’t have a relationship with a god already, there’s no reason for any one of them to step in and help. There are a lot more people on the surface of Exandria than there are gods. Unless someone is extra special- like Ashton, for instance- then there’s no reason why a god is going to be paying them attentinon. They’re not all knowing. 
They’re not all powerful, either. Think of how many times someone cast divine intervention and it didn’t go through, think of how Artagan (though he isn’t *really* a god) was trying to help Jester in the astral sea but he just couldn’t. They don’t have unlimited power, so they’re going to give it to the people who are devoted to them. Also, any power that they can grant is after it gets through the divine gate. Laudna said something like two episodes ago that’s been bugging me- that seeing Imogen walking around was more than she’d ever seen from a god. But there’s a reason for that, and it’s that the gods literally cannot walk on exandria because there’s a magic barrier keeping them from doing that. So these arguments seem misdirected.
IMO, it’s the gut reaction against cultural christianity and the christian idea of god that I think is bleeding into this. all of their arguments work much better when you’re talking a being who is all powerful, who claims to be all good, who has the ability to eradicate all evil and for some reason, hasn’t. Otherwise, its just a frustrating loop of people bringing up bad arguments that don’t matter.
(also “are the gods good” doesn’t matter, all that matters is that ludinus ISNT good.)
37 notes · View notes
plugnuts · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Basically mine and @qxs’s reaction when watching the new ep + bonus Stan
126 notes · View notes
stuckinapril · 2 months
Text
I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc
119 notes · View notes
dipyronegirl · 4 months
Text
thinking (and rewatching..) inside job again and i dont think rand is that bad of a father? i mean, he made a lot of mistakes and he doesn’t even feel bad ab it, even tho he traumatized reagan and a lot, but he was never absent. he acts like he cared ab reagan’s career just bc it could help his career, but that’s not true. he pushes her to be the best all the time and it’s bad, but he genuinely cares ab her so much. and the whole ‘creating crises to force her to hang out w him’ thing is fucked up, but it’s cute that he just wants to hang out w her that bad. most fathers literally don’t care enough ab their kids to do any of that. most fathers don’t even know their kids as much as he knows her. maybe my standards are just insanely low, probably, but he’s a better parent than 90% of the parents i know
#not just fathers. my standards aren’t lower for fathers than they are for mothers yk. they’re both low#he’s a better parent than my mom#he raised her being completely emotionally neglecting and putting so much pressure on her to be the genius she is#but i mean#my mom was just as emotionally neglecting as he was. i like telling the story ab how she had me stitch up my own wound when i was 8#and always mocked me for being ‘weak’. exactly like toxic masculinity except that we’re both girls. i couldn’t have feelings yk#rand isn’t as toxic as her when it comes to that. he neglects her feelings and even mocks them too but she still seemed allowed to Have them#if my mom thought i was being ‘weak’ she would scream at me ab how much she wished i had never been born. he doesn’t do that!!!!#like when she didn’t wanna skip 4th grade. if that were me my mom would have made me feel so guilty for being born#like i had to skip grades and actively pretend (i’m talking real acting here) to not be upset or she’d go on her rants#ab how life is difficult and depressing for everyone and i gotta swallow it and like it cause she sacrificed her happiness and health for me#cause my being born made her life so hard etc etc#i don’t think rand make reagan feel like her continuing existence kept him from being happy or healthy#my mom started blaming her diabetes on me when i was 10.#like im not fucking kidding#cause my expensive private school (that she forced me to go to all my life cause it was semi boarding so i had someplace to stay all day and#so she didn’t need to leave me home alone) made her work too much which made her stressed which made her eat more so being diabetic was a#sacrifice she made for my future#that’s just how it was#inside job#text
13 notes · View notes
thevirgincherry · 2 months
Text
have been ill since i was a kid it is not going to get better or pass likeeee sick of people telling me otherwise
#🏩.diary#I’ve always been this way#like there is no fixing it it’s not even like#idk my mental illness isn’t even something i can use as an excuse it’s just me now like idk#my friends are insufferable they don’t get it that#it’s not the fucking same like im so upset why do they always make things ab themselves#im the one that has no other friends no job no love life im failing uni with no social life like no you don’t get it#and they’re always like oh i wish I wasn’t known on campus like you talking to people is so draining I hate it#I hate it so bad i need to kill myself#I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 like that’s it’s not gonna change#and then they wonder why I don’t wanna talk like sorry im too suicidal to hear ab you having multiple jobs and boyfriends and driving sorry#like im too bitter#why don’t you just do this I CANT!!! im ugly and repulsive and can’t go outside#I’ve been made fun of for my weight and face by family n school friends like why would k want to go outside when it’s not even. me that#thinks I’m repulsive but everyone around me too#my parents don’t ever call me pretty unless I have makeup on they’re repulsed by me I know they love me bc they have to love me but im such#a loser there’s nothing to be Proud of#I don’t know what to do at all it’s like I’ve fucked it over so badly I can’t fix a single thing#it’s like I have everything wrong w me and it’s humiliating#tw vent#sorry im worked up godddd#I hate when people talk me like it’s my first time feeling this way and that it’s easy to get over#just try getting ur license or doing this I psychically cannot bc I’m crippled by anxiety and facial and body dysmoprhia like fuck off#whatever whatever im too pussy to kill myself so I’ll just live in this fucking cycle forever and ever like bc im literally a fucking .#pussy what’s wrong w me#in other news my sisters separation anxiety is back and she won’t let go of me I can’t go to the bathroom without her coming she’s sleeping#in my bed again#she’s so clingy I love her but I can’t do anything
9 notes · View notes
boltgunkiller-archive · 3 months
Text
i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk
#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG#they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she#-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just#-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically#-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean.#i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing#-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s#-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses#-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and#-support… none of which she got.#also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING#and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely#-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte#-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her#and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day!#like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff#it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are#they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa#-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too#-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve#-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody#who is scared and in the closet and hurting#also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte#like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to#-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he#-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue#and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks.#also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣#i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID#like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner
12 notes · View notes
dangerous-advantage · 11 months
Text
if you’re in the rise fandom and see this:
go read “all the ashes in my wake” by @crows-murder right now.
(yes, that is an order, and yes, pun intended.)
this post serves as a fic rec, but mainly to let me gush about how much i love this fic without filling up the author’s inbox with a small dissertation (/joking).
for the fic rec part:
leo. cursed. ella enchanted type cursed.
if you have any interest at all in absolutely phenomenal angst, clever writing with a style that’s easy to follow and smooth as butter, on-point characterization and dynamics, and basically anything you could ever ask for of a rise fic,
go. read. this. fic. right. now.
(that said, i am now going to ramble about my specific thoughts concerning the fic and it’s plot, so. possible spoilers beyond this point?)
there have been a growing number of fics in this “sub-genre” of the rise fandom involving a character (generally leo) getting cursed, and then facing off against angsty odds that make you go, “oh. oh, shit.” (/positive)
these curses also tend to involve the phases of the moon in some way, which i think is a very fun and interesting trend
i’ve enjoyed all of the fics that i’ve read which fit into this, but this particular fic may be my favorite yet
it follows a simple formula, neatly tying the a plot (the curse stuff) and the b plot (leo’s conflict with leadership and the strain it’s putting on his relationships) into a neat little bow.
while the idea of leo getting “ella enchanted” is fun on its own, it’s doubly important to the plot and the characterization, as it forces him to have to fix one problem to address the other.
in the first chapter, the author constructs the roots to this, by contrasting leo’s wily, independent nature against the inevitable conflict that will stifle his attempts to act on it.
watching him brush his brothers off, make his own choices and go off on his own, builds this wonderful sense of tension. it hooks you — what’s going to happen when that string is cut?
it plays perfectly into the underlying conflict. leo needs to find a way to overcome his fears of leading the team, or else the rift between him and his team will only continue to widen.
so what does the narrative do? it forces him into a position where he is no longer gets to choose.
this incapacitation is a powerful tool, not only because of the external force of the curse, but also that it plays off of the weaknesses of his character.
this isn’t something that he can just handwave, or take care of on his own. it’s a situation where he needs to ask for help.
but this is leo we’re talking about. of course he isn’t going to go to his brothers about this, or even tell them! but by hiding it and trying to fix it himself, he ends up caught in a deadlock of his own making.
and since it doesn’t look like he’s going to get over himself very soon, it seems more likely that he’ll end up cornered in a very sticky situation indeed (something which i am very much looking forward to seeing, if that is the plan).
it’s genius! to fix his problems with the curse, he has to address his issues with his family first.
my attempts to sound smarter than i actually am aside (/lighthearted), i am so glad this fic is addressing the conflict between raph and leo. not only that, but in a way that feels true to their characters.
unlike other iterations of the tmnt, the roles here are reversed. it’s not the stolid abs responsible leader pitted against the broody loner who wants to be leader, but isn’t the right fit.
it’s rise!raph, who cares about his little brother and wants to support him, and rise!leo who, on some level, doubts his own ability in this new role on the team — to be anything more than “the face man.”
it’s not often where you come across a fic where the a plot and the b plot are equally engaging, but this is one of those rare cases where everything just works. it’s like i’m witnessing the first steps of some great machine, meticulously crafted, a hundred disparate parts working in tandem.
in the third chapter, the angst just works. the pay-off there feels so real, because you get it. you relate to this character. when raph is there, waiting up for him, you know shit’s about to go down. you can feel it.
if the necklace (and therefore the curse) acted as both a narrative device and catalyst, leo’s swords represent the other side of that: the last bit of freedom he has left in this godawful situation.
they’re the last bit of freedom, his only hope of escape. raph taking them (or, rather, leo being compelled to surrender them) has just glorious undertones in the narrative as a whole.
if you were to consider the katanas a representation of leo’s autonomy, it makes sense why him being forced to give them up hits that much harder.
not only is it a tense situation, where leo is fighting back but ultimately unable to overcome the curse, it cements this underlying feeling of helplessness the author has been seeding since the chapter previous.
now that we’re here, with both the a plot and b plot coming into direct confrontation with what leo wants, we recognize that leo cannot continue how he is.
sure, he’ll keep on fighting it (abs i am very much looking forward to seeing how that goes), but this is the point where we know, there is no escaping.
leo is now truly stuck. without his katanas, fubdibg the necklace to break the curse on his own is basically impossible.
and he recognizes this.
leo’s characterization throughout this fic has been some of the best in the business. he’s smart, witty, independent, calculating — probably one of, if not the best true-to-character representations of rise!leo thats i’ve seen so far.
(absolutely phenomenal job there, i cannot stress this point enough.)
in fact, all of the characters in this fic are so well-written? i’m already seeing roots for character development within casey sr. (which i am so here for, oh my gods you don’t even know), and you can’t help but be invested in all of these relationships
we’re constantly being reminded of the emotional conflict, how much of a strain it’s putting on the relationships, not just between raph and leo, but between all of them.
leo sees this, understands something has to change, but feels paralyzed by what that could mean. for him, and his family.
not to beat the metaphorical dead horse, but that scene after leo surrenders his katanas abs flees back to his room? damn. i felt that on a visceral level.
being so tired, so miserable, so helpless, when a part of you knows you’re being irrational, but having your own pride and fear get in the way of that?
not to project all over these characters or whatever, but fuck. it feels like this was written to call out me, specifically (/j /lh)
and urgh! the detail work in this is incredible!
maybe i’m just a slut for somewhat contrived narratives, and definitely contrived foreshadowing, but the way it’s done in this fic comes off as so clean and organized.
it’s like... weaving threads in a tapestry. you can see where the connect, though you’re not quite sure where they’re going, until you can step back abs look at the picture as a whole.
it genuinely feels masterful in some places, like, mother of god, leave some talent for the rest of us!! (/lighthearted)
i could probably keep talking about this forever, but i do have other responsibilities i should be taking care of, and i kind of want to reread the three chapters that are out (as of writing this) again.
who knows, maybe i’ll revisit this in the future, when i have a better basis and understanding of the underlying themes here.
for now, dear author (if you are, for some reason, reading this),i hope you don’t mind my pretentious and meandering thoughts and/or assumptions. you’ll probably see me again, gushing in your comment sections. yours is just the kind of fic that deserves to be gushed about.
32 notes · View notes
lucky-clover-gazette · 4 months
Text
i would like to not wake up wanting to cry. like can we maybe not start the day like that as a default, brain. can we do that.
7 notes · View notes