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goldustwomun · 19 days

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all of me wants all of you (s.b.)

pairing: sirius black x younger potter!reader

summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. plus, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?

warnings: angst so much angst, some healing as well, hugs from a concerned mother, more angst, more angst, fluff?, actual communication omg, do you ever meet someone's eyes and just one look from them has you breaking down and bawling, yeah :) , not proofread but i'll do it in the morning!!

wc: 3.3k+

note: i've been on some sort of writing kick so enjoy these daily updates D: anyway can y'all tell i'm MISSING my mum. only four more weeks though! x

pt i. / pt ii. / pt iii.

You were elbow deep in a sink of dirty dishes, your Mum towelling dry the plates next to you, when you finally came out and said it.

“Am I a disappointment, Mum?”

She froze right there, arms poised and plate hovering mid-air. It was only a second later when she recovered, gently placing the dish on the counter when she turned to look at you. Her head was titled in that concerned way of hers, and you’re not sure what it was about the look in her eyes – of hurt and worry and love – but the tears started flowing right then and there.

“Oh, my love, how could you ever think that?” she questioned, tugging you into her arms, not caring about the water from your hands or the tears from your eyes soaking her new cotton dress. She smelled of chamomile tea and custard creams and home. And as much as you thought you hated her sometimes; her reassurance was what you needed most when the world seemed out to get you.

“You could never disappoint me or Da’, you know that.” She pulled back, forcing you to look up into her eyes, noticing the shimmer across her own irises. “Tell me you know that my sweetest girl.”

“I—” and your voice broke but you kept going— “I don’t know if I do.” With a deep breath you tried to explain it all. “It just seems like everyone hates me sometimes. And I guess it, I’m difficult, I know that I am, but sometimes—I mean, a lot of the time, really, it feels like I can’t control it. When I argue and bicker and stomp away in a tantrum. It’s these feelings—I have so many, and I never know what to do with them, and it’s like drowning in indecision and I always make the wrong choice.”

“I know, love, I know,” she soothed, pulling you back in and smoothing her palm across your hair. You melted into her embrace like you hadn’t since you were ten years old. “You’re so much like me, you know? I swear, hear it every time we’re out with our friends. And when I was your age, I felt that way too. Lost and overwhelmed and like I wasn’t enough.”

“So, what did you do—to get rid of those feelings, I mean?” you asked, already dreading her answer.

“I didn’t. And you shouldn’t want to, either.” You almost lifted your head to argue but stopped yourself before you could. “Your emotions and feelings and thoughts and dreams—they make you who you are. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge the root of the ones that pester you the most and try to understand why they have such a hold over you. And maybe it’s my fault, really, for not saying it more, but we are so so proud of you.”

“I think you say it more to James and Sirius than you do to me,” you pointed out, a slight bite to your words but not enough to sting.

“James is, well, James. I can’t deny that he’s occasionally—” you raised your eyebrow incredulously at that and she responded with an amused eyeroll— “struggled with his classes and getting it together, so it seemed important to guide him in the right direction with praises. Sirius, on the other hand—well, we’re all he has. We just wanted him to feel loved.”

You nodded, understanding, but not sure how you fit into all of this. “Then you, my love. When you were younger you were always naturally good at things. I never understood where you got that from cause it certainly wasn’t from me. You put little effort into things and excelled, so maybe I got used to the idea that I knew you’d always be alright even if I didn’t say anything. But that’s my fault, I shouldn’t have withheld my pride out of laziness.”

“I don’t think you’re lazy, Mum,” you urged, but she hushed you with that stern voice of hers.

“I’m sure you don’t but shush because I won’t admit it again,” she scolded, her voice entirely mocking and somewhere between those tears, you managed a smile. “Your Da’ and I always knew you’d go on to do brilliant things. You’re intelligent, and passionate, and those muggle kids of yours adore you. You’re shaping their lives in ways you can’t even know, and they’re lucky to have you, just like I am, my sweet girl.”

She leaned forward, placing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“And do you hate that I live at home still?”

She reeled back, both shocked and confused. “of course not. We love having you here! It’s entirely selfish, really. Got to convert James’ old room into a study, as well as keep you around for the company and to help with chores. If anything, I don’t want you to move out,” she explained, serious. “Really, if you had more natural light in your room, we would’ve helped you to a new place the second you graduated from Hogwarts.”

You barked out a laugh at that, entirely believing her. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’m wanted, or whatever.” You could feel your cheeks flaring at the thought of saying it out loud, but you ignored the feeling to relish in your Mum’s embrace a little while longer.

“Oh, yeah—whatever,” she teased, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from your face. “You could never disappoint me.”

All you could do was nod before your face dropped with apprehension. “What—what is it, love?” she asked, concerned herself.

“Well, you see, you say that now but I did something kind of dumb…” you trailed off, unable to confess just yet.

“What did you—you didn’t murder someone, did you? Because I love you but I don’t think I could manage Azkaban with those arthritis flare ups I’ve been getting.”

“What--! Mum, no, I didn’t—how could I? How could you think I’d be capable of murder?!” and really it had been the longest you’d gone without absolutely belting at someone.

“You are quite easily irritated,” she reasoned.

“If people stopped being so irritating—” you stopped, taking a deep breath, before confessing— “No, it’s both better and worse.”

“Go on,” she encouraged, but even she didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“I kissed Sirius.”

And it was like crickets between the two of you. Not a scolding shout or a cry of horror or—

“Okay… and is that it?” she asked bluntly.

“What do you mean ‘is that it?’. It’s wild, unbelievable, otherworldly, even!” you sputtered, not quite comprehending the calm with which she was speaking.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, love. It’s not a good look,” and she pushed you out of the way to continue scrubbing at the dirty dishes, ignoring your stunned frame.

“Aren’t you going to ask me ‘why’?” you pushed, peering over her shoulder to check she was very much alive and breathing and not pranking you with a bit of some sort.

“I don’t need to, I know why,” she answered simply. You balked, tugging her shoulder back so she halted her movements and turned to face you.

“And what might that ‘why’ be?”

“It’s simple, really. You love him, you’ve always loved him. Since you were five and he pushed James into the dirt for stealing your copy of that Tiger, Wizard, and Cabinet’ book.”

You couldn’t help the way your hand slapped against your face right then, from exhaustion or exasperation, you weren’t sure. “It’s the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Mum,” you groaned.

“That definitely doesn’t sound right,” she pouted. “Anyway, he got the book back from James and you were so pleased you came up to me and said ‘Mummy, I think Sirius isn’t so bad after all, can we keep him?’. And when I explained the laws around owning human beings, you huffed and hid under the dining room table all day until you fell asleep.”

“Well, that does sound like me…”

“Of course, it sounds like you. I’m your mother,” she chided. “You didn’t start pretending to hate Sirius until you were about ten or eleven and he got that first girlfriend of his. What was her name—Lacey? Macey?”

“Stacey,” you chewed out, only to realise the anger with which you spoke her name despite never having known her. “Oh—”

“’Oh’ indeed. And what did you say to young Sirius after this kiss?” she pried, entirely engrossed in the story now as she rested her hip against the damp counter.

“I might’ve—you know---”

“No! you didn’t!” she burst out, already knowing exactly what you were going to say.

“I did, Mum, I did,” you moaned, pathetic and questioning if there was any way to rectify the situation, you’d found yourself in.

“Well, I can’t help you with that, love. You’re on your own, kid,” she explained, wiping her hands clean before sending you off (you weren’t entirely sure where, exactly) with a pat on your back.

If you were anyone else, you would’ve taken such an encouraging conversation and somewhat-healed trauma of your childhood as a sign to go speak with Sirius.

But no, lucky for you, you were you.

He hadn’t shown up to work all week, using the flu as an excuse. So when James and Lily invited you over for a small gathering— “Really, James, two parties in one month? What kind of home are you raising my nephew in!”—you hadn’t thought much of it, or him.

“Do let me know if I’ve got this correct– you’ve decided to host a fourth of July party despite not being American, or, now that I think about it further, ever having been to America?” you questioned, genuinely worrying for Lily’s sanity as she rocked a bumbling Harry on her lap, cheeks painted with red, white and blue stars.

“Well, when you put it like that,” James groused, pouting, arms folded against his chest despite being the adult that he was.

“How else would you put it, James?” you argued, exasperated.

Lily perked up at the sound of a potential fight and silenced the two of you with a single look. If anyone was made to be a mother, it had to be Lily. She was compassionate and kind and gentle, as much as she could scare you with a simple glance, she could soothe all your worries as well.

“Look, I just needed an excuse to have a beer, and what better excuse is there than this! The holiday of beers—” I thought that was St. Paddy’s “—Hush! Otherwise, I’d have to wait for someone’s birthday or, what’s the next holiday–? Halloween? That’s ages away.”

You smirked at his odd logic. “Obviously it doesn’t necessarily have to be very Americana or whatever. Red, white and blue– just close your eyes and pretend it’s the beloved Union Jack instead!”

The gathering wasn’t as big as the last one, and you recognised the few familiar faces as Lily and James’ closest friends: Remus, Marlene, Mary, Peter, Sirius—

Sirius? Your head whipped back in a double take, watching as he pulled Remus into a hug ‘hello’ right by the garden gate. He hadn’t noticed you, not yet, but it didn’t take long for his gaze to fixate right on you. You couldn’t read his face, not having ever quite mastered the skill, but this time especially, he looked dazed and withdrawn.

Even his smiled seemed tight, like he didn’t quite mean it, and your heart plummeted at the thought that you’d done that to him.

“I’ll be right back,” you offered, distracted, to James as he preoccupied himself with squeezing Harry’s chubby fist.

Sirius had gone straight inside, probably headed for the kitchen, and you followed suit, wondering what it was about your brother’s house that had the two of you both rushing to and avoiding confrontation.

You found him right where you had expected—peering into the dimly lit fridge and pulling out a bottle of beer.

“Sirius,” you said, announcing your presence as you let the door click shut behind you. Luckily, no one else was inside the house, rather taking in the one day of sunlight and light breeze in an otherwise damp English spring.

You watched as his shoulders tensed instantly, and you just knew he wanted to be anywhere else but there, with you, at that moment, but he turned to face you anyway.

“How can I help, Potter?” he asked, keeping his cards close to his chest still.

“Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now,” he pointed out, brow raised as he took a deep gulp of his drink, cringing at the taste.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” you pushed back, inching a step forward.

“No, I don’t know what you mean,” he replied smoothly, seemingly untouched by the implication behind your words.

“You’re such a prick sometimes, Sirius.”

“And you’ve only just noticed? My, didn’t take you as slow, Potter,” he noted, mockingly, and you flinched at his casual cruelty.

“Don’t do that,” you scolded.

“Do what?” he fought back, “Speak my mind? Seems like you’re the only one allowed to do that around here, and when anyone dares contest, well, all hell breaks loose.”

“You’re not speaking your mind, though,” you argued.

“Ah, and you know my mind so well, do you?” The annoying thing about Sirius, amongst many other things, was that he knew how to get under your skin. Had perfected the craft after years of verbal combat with you. So his words poked and prodded at your soft underbelly with ease as he brandished his hurt around like a swordsman with a too-heavy sword.

“Maybe not entirely, but when it comes to us, I think I know enough.” He stayed silent after that, hesitant, as if waiting for you to make the first move. “The other day, when we kissed—” and you knew you were getting hotter because something, some feeling, flickered behind his irises “—I said it was a mistake—”

“—I know, love. I was there,” he scowled. “No need to remind a man of his failings.”

“Just— let me finish!” You inhaled, slow, before continuing. “I said it was a mistake when, in fact, I felt the opposite. It’s just—it’s you and I, Sirius, and when it comes to us, I might know, inside, what I mean and feel and intend to show but when it comes to the actual ‘doing’ part of it all, I always seem to mess up. So, when I said it was a mistake, what I really meant was—”

And it was his turn to cut you off with his mouth, only this time it was sweet and yearning and apologetic as opposed to the fire and passion and lust that had guided the two of you the last time you’d found yourself in his hold.

His mouth slid over your own, careful and inquisitive, whilst his palms cradled your face, as if you’d slip out of his grasp if he moved even an inch in the wrong direction.

It was lovely, really.

As much as you wished for him to keep going, to keeping kissing you like he might yearn for you too (though you wouldn’t be saying those three words for a while), you were horribly aware of the fact that Lily, or worse, your brother, might walk in at any moment.

So, Sirius didn’t allow himself to get carried away with you, not yet at least, and instead he pulled away with a content sigh, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb as if to memorise it by feel alone.

“Is that our thing then? Kisses in the form of sneak-attacks?” you mused, vibrating and giddy and utterly pleased.

“Could be, if you want?” and it seemed like he was still entranced with your mouth to properly reply in any meaningful manner.

“Sirius,” you pleaded, urging him to look at you, properly. He tore his gaze away from your lips, finally, and the way his face split into a grin had those fucking butterflies returning, tenfold. “Are you okay?”

“I will be once I take you to mine and do that all over again, only, a little less clothed and a lot more horizontal” he promised, the cheek of his you had come to endearing having return after his previous sulking.

“You’re a menace,” you groaned as he buried his smirking face into the crook of your neck, holding you tight to him before his grip relaxed and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you right there.

“I know, and I’m only joking—well, if you want me to be joking, I will be. But I’m fine—I swear it. It just seems surreal, us, like this,” he explained.

“I get that, it is a bit odd, but I’ve realised you need to contextualise those weird, new feelings and not let them control you, at least, not if they’re ‘bad’ or whatever,” you offered clumsily, trying, in your own way, to relay the same advice your Mum had.

He snorted in response, and you smacked his back from where your arms were wrapped around him. “You sound like your Mum.”

“Mm, that is my Mum. Only, she said it better, and more concise, and in that Mum-way that just makes sense.”

“Ah, well that makes a bit more sense.” He pulled back for a moment, not letting you out of the circle of his arms yet. “We should talk about this a little more, shouldn’t we?”

You nodded, sighing as you moved away from him to get a hold of your thoughts once more. “I think, for me at least, I conflated anger with my feelings for you because I wasn’t exactly sure how to handle them, and deep down, I worried you’d reject me, so it seemed easier to argue with you than—”

“--this,” he finished for you, and he must’ve read the agreement on your face because he bobbed his head in response. “It makes sense, really, and it’s about the same for me, only, there was the whole issue of James and, I mean, I’m older—”

“—by a few years,” you maintained, scowling, and he wanted to kiss you for it.

“Yes, love, but a few years means different things depending on how old you are. We’ve never really been in the same phase of life until now, so I don’t think I wanted it—nor would it have been appropriate, really—until a year or two ago. By then, it seemed too late, so I just kept—”

“—bickering.”

“Yeah, bickering. Arguing. Biting back. It was the safer option.” And everything he said made sense, it was all entirely reasonable, but you still mourned the time lost to not being entirely honest with each other.

“But there’s no point worrying over that now, not when we can’t do anything about it,” he reasoned, noting the faraway look in your eyes and centring you back, there, with him.

“We should get back to the party,” you whispered, fearing what would happen when the two of you left the safety on the kitchen, flooded still with gold and a certain stillness that had you aching for this moment to be forever.

“Yeah, love, let’s go back,” he answered, just as quiet, nudging his head toward the door. Just as your hand came up to turn the doorknob, Sirius’ palm came up in front of you, halting your movements. He stood, still, behind you, and close as ever. You could feel every breath he took, and that damn cologne you’d started missing in the bookstore as well. “Don’t worry about us, love, we’ll be fine,” he assured you.

You answered by turning the knob and making your way back towards the garden. Sirius followed from behind, and when you stepped through the backdoor, you realised how little had changed since you’d gone inside, but also just how much had changed, as well.

as always, please comment and reblog if you enjoyed this <3

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black angst #sirius black fluff #sirius black oneshot #marauders fanfiction #the marauders

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elysia-nsimp · 4 months

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Well. Saw this blog and I've grown curious about it. Saw requests are open and also you haven't writen anything for Savanaclaw and other dorms so... Yeah I'll shoot my shot. Can you do jealousy headcanons? (Mainly for Leona but Malleus,Vil and Azul too if you're okay doing multiple characters in one post). Just y'know the bois feeling someone is becoming too touchy or getting too close to their S/O (even if said S/O wouldn't change them for anyone else obviously). Okay thank you,have a lovely day <3

Hi!! I just got around to actually working on the few requests in my inbox, so thanks for your patience Anon ^^

I’m nervous about my ability to write Leona, but I’ll do my best !!!

Contents: lack of COMMUNICATION (Azul, Leona, Malleus), insecurity (Azul), possessiveness (Malleus), reader’s gender or pronouns are never mentioned.

Leona

Initially, Leona would start shutting himself off from you.

Suddenly, he’s way more distant and guarded when you’re around.

If you don’t talk to him about it first, and whoever he’s jealous of gets closer to you, that’s when he jumps back in

NOW he’s trying to prove that he’s BETTER than whoever he’s jealous of via leaning against you, buying you things, draping his clothes over you, etc etc.

He WILL NOT communicate his feelings I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to pry it out of him

Good luck 👍

Thanks @thesunshineriptide for basically doing this one for me I got. very stuck

Azul

For the most part, Azul would act unfazed by someone getting too close to you… at least, on the outside.

Inside? He’s both a mix of angry (at them, not you. Never at you.) and worried he’ll lose you.

Even if you don’t notice it, the twins certainly do.

They know him REALLY well, so they see right through that disguise.

If you don’t notice, the twins will probably hint at it until you catch on.

Either way, once you approach Azul about the situation, he seems… panicked? Like, he will deny feeling jealous for a few minutes.

When he stops denying it, it’s clear he’s holding back tears, not wanting to seem like a fool in front of you.

You assure him you love him, you wouldn’t trade him for the world, and if he’s ever feeling insecure, to please talk to you so you can assure him again.

He REALLY appreciates this, more than he can put into words.

He apologies for his silly concerns, to which you tell him that having worries isn’t silly of him. If it’s bothering him, he should be able to feel safe enough to talk about it.

If it ever happens again, Azul is gonna do his best to talk to you, rather than bottling it up.

Vil

Vil is extremely confident in how much you love him. He wouldn’t be dating you otherwise!

However, sometimes concerns still arise… like now!

He takes notices to how close you are to a friend of yours, and suddenly the worry that maybe he’s not affectionate enough with you crosses his mind.

He’s also a tad jealous that they get your affection and he doesn’t. At least, in that very moment.

It doesn’t take long before he approaches you during your down time, asking if he could tell you something.

He takes your hands in his, admitting he’s just a liiittle jealous of your friend, and asks if there’s something missing in your relationship with him.

You tell him you love him just the way he is, and he doesn’t need to change. You assure him you’re just friends with the person he saw you with, and they’re just a hugger.

He’s relieved at this and offers you a kiss, thanking you for listening to his concerns.

He WILL offer you more hugs though. Better safe than sorry!

Malleus

It is… BLATANTLY obvious when Malleus is jealous.

Not only is Lilia always chuckling under his breath whenever Malleus spots you with your affectionate friends,

But he becomes SUPER possessive over you.

You’ll be talking with your friends, then suddenly BOOM! Malleus hugging you out of nowhere.

He shows up unprompted to your dorm just to snuggle up next to you.

He’s quieter than usual, which makes it easy to conclude he’s in a bad mood.

When asked, he simply responds with “Is my love not enough?”

…Ooooohhhh he’s jealous. That makes a lot more sense.

You squish his cheeks and tell him that YES his love is enough, you just have different relationships with your peers and their affections.

He asks if he needs to be more physically affectionate with you, to which you tell him that you wouldn’t change him. It’s entirely up to him to decide that, to which he promptly decides you’re coming with him to cuddle

He’s still lowkey jealous when he sees others getting too close to you, often appearing and hugging you to remind them to not get too touchy feely with HIS Child of Man, but he trusts you a ton and believes you when you say you love him.

——

Thanks again to my buddy Howl for. Basically doing Leonas for me. Lol I’ll work on studying his character more so I can better respond to requests for him. Hope you enjoy this ^^ Have a lovely day yourself Anon!!

I’m still working on formatting for my posts lol, maybe they’ll be prettier one day

#eely asks #eely’s writing #twst leona #twst leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar #leona kingsholar x reader #twst Azul #twst azul ashengrotto #twst azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst Vil #twst vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit #vil shoenheit x reader #twst malleus #twst malleus draconia #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

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tgmsunmontue · 2 months

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Life is too short to waste time matching socks... (1/?) WIP I

Hangster and Bob/Javy/Nat - set post mission with the Dagger Squad having been made a permanent squad.

Bradley opens his locker and startles a little as something falls onto his head from where it was obviously balanced just on the door of his locker. Two pairs of socks, still in the cardboard sleeve, one with peach emojis and the other with eggplants. His first reaction is to roll his eyes, because it’s a little juvenile, butt and dick emoji socks. He knows none of the Dagger Squadron have a problem with him being gay. It would be a little hypocritical for some of them, considering at least half of them identify somewhere in the rainbow community, and they’ve had drunken rambling talks about it, about always having to strive to prove themselves and maybe that’s why they’ve all succeeded to become as good as they are.

“Uh… are these a joke?”

No-one says anything and he shrugs, puts the socks into his bag for home.

… … …

“You’re not subtle. Well, actually, maybe you are, because he’s not figured it out yet.”

“Maybe he’s figured it out and is just not interested in me like that so is just… pretending to not know so he doesn’t hurt my feelings.”

Javy and Nat both snort.

“What?”

“Okay, for a start, when has he ever tried to spare your feelings?”

“We’re friends now. Sort of.”

“Yeah. Sort of. Because he wants to dick you down.”

“Classy Trace, real classy.”

“I’m sorry, since when have you ever cared about class? You’ve got a hardon for a guy that wears Hawaiian shirts by choice.”

… … …

“Someone gave you socks and you think they’re… playing a prank? Normally the socks are covered in itching powder, or shoes with shaving foam, buckets of water above the door, laces tied together…”

“It’s what’s on the socks. Here. Look.”

Mav stares at them. Looks up to Bradley.

“Farm produce?”

Bradley winces, he really doesn’t want to have to explain the double meaning of the emojis to a man nearing sixty.

“God your face. I’m old, I’m not dead. I know what those mean.”

“So, do you think someone’s making fun of me?”

“For what?”

“Uh. Being gay? Having a, um, actually, never mind…”

“You a bit of a shower huh?”

“Jesus Mav…” Bradley mutters as Mav just laughs.

“Clearly nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe someone’s paying you a compliment. Or they have a weird way of flirting? I don’t know what you kids do these days.”

“I think we’re too old to be classified as the kids of today, considering some of my friends have kids who they’re already struggling to understand.”

“Everyone’s a kid to me.”

“Yeah well, you are ancient.”

“Hey! You’re meant to respect your elders!”

It’s Bradley’s turn to laugh and it’s good, their relationship slowly healing. Of course, Penny sitting them both down and acting as mediator; forcing Mav to tell him that it had been his mom’s wish… He no longer has moments of fleeting anger and resentment, realizing that life is too short to hold this grudge when he’d worked around it anyway, that it hadn’t actually seriously impacted his career progression, that it had simply been the lying and lack of support which had felt like the deepest of betrayals.

When he gets back to his accommodation he picks up the socks holds them in his hands, they’re good quality, brand new and unused and while it was clearly three pairs he’s only been given the two and he wonders if the other person has kept a pair for themselves. He’s desperate to know, a building mystery. He knows it has to be a fellow aviator, because they were delivered to his locker. So definitely an aviator. Or someone close enough to ask one of them to do it for them.

He can figure this out.

… … …

“Is this getting even more painful or is it just me?”

“If I didn’t know better I’d think they were secretly together and winding us up, but Jake can’t act to save himself, so… he’s actually gone on him.”

“They have a very weird way of showing each other that they like each other…”

“Well… Rooster grew up with Mav as his role model. Were we expecting him to be normal?”

“You raise a valid point.”

“And Jake… well. His parents are so much older than him, his older brother pretty much raised him and he isn’t exactly the most, uh, demonstrative of guys?”

“Is that a diplomatic way of saying he’s a bag of dicks?”

“Don’t you like dicks?”

“I like dicks when they’re attached to guys I like, I would make a hard pass on a bag of lose dicks just jiggling around like that…”

Javy and Bob exchange slightly horrified looks.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

“Bags of detached dicks…” Bob says, pushing his glasses up his nose and somehow maintaining a completely straight face.

“I’m... I’m sorry I asked. I’ll leave you to it,” Rueben says, doing a sharp one-eighty and heading back out the way he came in.

The three of them burst into laughter and it’s a nice break from their moan and groan session discussing the problem of Hangman and Rooster and their combined obliviousness. How they’re both so intelligent but so equally clueless makes the three of them despair.

“Okay. I’m going to invite them both to dinner and then stand them up, so they have to have dinner together.”

“Yeah, they could just get up and leave…”

“No, they won’t, I’ll make sure of it,” Natasha states and the other two decide not to argue any further.

“I’m going to suggest we do an escape room, and then need to take an emergency call… one of you are going to need to be my emergency call,” Bob says, looking between them, flushing a little as Javy simply looks at him and smiles.

“I’m going for tried and true. I’m going to lock them in a room and then text them both and then let them sort it out.”

“Looking them in a cupboard, real mature.”

“As mature as them. The solution needs to match the problem. He gave him socks with butt and dick emojis.”

“Yeah okay, you raise a fair point…”

“Anyway, if the dinner and escape room ideas don’t work then I think we'll all be ready to lock them up. Or bang their heads together.”

… … …

PART TWO

#Hangster #Sereshaw #Life is too short to waste time matching socks...#Top Gun fanfiction #BobNixJavy

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kraeted · 26 days

Text

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

PAIRING: ojiro aran x fem reader

WC: 1.2k

SUMMARY: after being away for a while, it’s hard to just pick up where you left off and it keeps aran up at night

CONTAINS: light angst, fluff, reverse comfort, healthy communication

NOTE: this is an old one, but too good not to post

You try to rub the sleep out of your eyes, yawning as you wander through the dark hallway of your apartment in search of your boyfriend. It isn’t the first time he went missing in the middle of the night and at this point you’re used to waking up to an empty bed, aware that sleep came hard for Aran at times. Usually you easily fell asleep again, knowing you would find him by your side when the sun broke through the blinds in the morning, but for some reason even with your eyes shut tightly your mind didn’t want to doze off.

Leaning your exhausted frame against the doorway, you aren’t surprised to find him near the window peering down at the fresh coat of snow in the street, the street lights illuminating the whitened out cars at the sides of the street. You know it was supposed to snow, but for some reason the sight pleasantly surprises you and makes you sigh in awe.

Aran turns his head over his shoulder, now noticing your presence. “What are you doing up?” You can tell he hasn’t been up for long, his voice still hoarse.

“Could ask you the same thing.” You push yourself from the doorframe, your steps inaudible against the carpeted floor as you make your way over to him.

“The usual.” He answers, feeling how you nestle yourself against his back and embrace his physique, taking in the warmth he rudely deprived you of. He takes a hold of your hands resting against his stomach and presses a soft kiss against your fingers before intertwining them with his.

“Another nightmare, hm?”

“Yeah.” An agitated exhale falls from his lips and you can’t help but feel for him. Although he functions fine on just a few hours of sleep, you can tell he is getting frustrated by the sleepless nights, the nightmares and the constant exhaustion.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

He doesn’t answer you right away, his gaze finding your car at the end of the road and just like the others it’s smothered by the snow. He decides then he will get up earlier to scrape your car window before he needs to leave for his volleyball practice. As much as you love admiring the winter paradise from the comfort of your home, Aran knows how much you hate the actual cold.

You feel him tense under your touch as he hums, contemplating his next words. “We’re okay, right?” He asks, his voice small and unsure. His thumbs anxiously rub the skin of your hands as you perk your head at his unusual question.

You move aside to look at your boyfriend, his hands now buried deep into the pockets of his sweatpants. “I thought we were, but I’m starting to think I missed something.”

“Maybe I’m just looking into it too much.” Aran dryly chuckles and he shrugs his shoulders as if he’s trying to convince himself of something.

“Into what?”

“I’ve been away a lot,” he starts and licks his lips, glancing over at you, “but now I’m back it feels like you’re pulling away. I don’t come home to you anymore, you’re always staying late at work and then we don’t eat or go to sleep together. We didn’t even continue watching our shows and I know you never believe me, but I actually didn’t watch them on my own this time.” He chuckles at his own comment, trying to lighten the mood, but you don’t even crack a smile.

You’re at a loss for words, mouth slightly agape as you stare at him. You just need a moment to recall what he just said and realize it makes sense. You remember when it was you being afraid your relationship wouldn’t survive his hectic schedule, trips out of the country, the uneasy feeling at the pit of your stomach when you saw pictures of your boyfriend in bars on Atsumu’s Instagram story, the only thing you noticed being the beautiful women in the background. It took you a long time to get used to dating a pro-athlete and coming to terms with it, but you didn’t have a choice if you wanted to make it work.

And you didn’t give yourself a choice, focusing on your work, friends, family, finding new hobbies to fill your time when he was away and trying to distract yourself from that ache that came with missing your boyfriend. Having the apartment to yourself wasn’t a problem anymore, because you knew how to adapt to his absence. It was just the first time you hadn’t snapped out of it.

You were still living like he wasn’t around.

“I was honestly too scared to ask you about it, because what if you were actually tired of all the waiting, you know?” He admits, folding his arms over his chest, his eyes fixed on the snowflakes falling from the midnight sky while you listen carefully. “I wouldn’t blame you, but I wasn’t prepared for you to give me an answer and now I keep having these nightmares about you leaving— it’s so stupid that they rile me up.”

Your eyes widen and your heart raises at his confession. “That’s what has been keeping you up?” You ask, guilt evident in your voice as you stand in front of him and stare into his honey brown eyes.

“I told you, it’s stupid—”

“No, it’s not. Not at all.” You coo softly, your hands caressing his arms as he lets them hang by his side. You can’t believe you’ve been blind to your own behavior for so long. “I knew what I was getting myself into when I said yes to being your girlfriend, I’m not tired of anything and especially not of you.”

“It’s okay if you are though.” He says, trying to validate feelings which aren’t yours. “I get it.”

This is the first time you have heard him talk like this, insecure not one of the many things he was and it only makes you wonder how long he has been walking around with those thoughts— how long you’ve made him feel that way and didn’t notice.

“You’re stubborn in the worst moments, do you know that?” You chuckle out an exhausted sigh, hoping he would finally get the memo. You wrap your arms around his waist and he embraces you, his warmth consuming you. “I still love you just as much as I always have and I’m more than sure that won’t change. Do you hear me?”

A brief silence settles as you watch him stare back at you, a hesitant smile slowly pulling at his lips. That was the push of reassurance he needed, a conversation getting rid of all of the grey clouds fueling his insecurities and negative thoughts. If he had known this was how the conversation would’ve turned out earlier, he would’ve talked about it right away.

He finally just gives in and nods. “I hear you.”

You smile and press a quick kiss against his lips. “Good.”

Aran exhales, his shoulders deflating with relief, the anticipation and tension in his body finally coming to an end. “Guess I was looking too much into it after all.” He laughs softly.

You poke your finger into his chest. “That’s what happens when you mope around instead of talking to me.”

“Lesson learned.”

“I’m glad.” You nod. “How can I make it up to you, hm?”

“Oh,” he grins at your seductive tone, “I can think of a few ways.”

#signed by rae #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #ojiro aran #aran ojiro #aran ojiro x reader #ojiro aran x reader #ojiro aran fluff #aran ojiro fluff

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evangelinesbible · 2 years

Text

MY TOP 3 FAVORITE COMPOSITE RISINGS

GEMINI RISING - maybe this is me being a friends to lovers kinda gal or opposites attract type of lover but… I love this one. Its my favorite. It gives me best friends realizing how much they actually like each other. From the outside looking in it seems unlikely and weird or that they just don’t look like they belong together but in the end they’re perfect for each other. Eventually the world sees it too. They give each other enough space, usually great communication and both seemingly can’t get bored of each other even if the relationship seems boring. I think this is why Monica and Chandler are one of my favorite tv couples. This rising is literally them.

CANCER RISING (and kinda) VENUS - the couple that everyone’s like “ that’s mom and dad” if you know what I mean 😭 it’s so nurturing and caring. The relationship literally feels like home. “You are my home” Image a couple running towards each other after being apart for so long just wanting to hold each other again and feel safe in each others arms. That’s what it feels like to me. They build a home together with their relationship. They probably quite literally feel warm with each other and that makes my heart just go 💕💕💕

SCORPIO RISING - Not everyone can deal with this but I like the intensity 😈 The unpredictable passionate couple. They’re so intense and dramatic I love it. The dedication and loyalty these couples have to each other is unreal. When they’re together everyone’s like “ Oh yeah they’re hot” and they know it. This coupes praises and raises each other up. And they can’t seem to keep their hands of each other (whether in public or in private 👀) sure jealousy issues might arise but it’s a ride or die relationship and I’m always down for that.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Leo and Libra rising

#astrology #astro observations #astro placements #astro notes #astrology notes #composite chart #composite rising #favorite placements

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tiptapricot · 2 years

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Ok hc idea but what if Marc set up Stevens phone so that the voicemails to his mother actually went to him and maybe if Marc has a spare moment while fronting he'll sit with a coffee and just... Listen to Steven? Catch up with how his life is going and just feel close to him? Be proud of his boy for sticking up for himself against Donna or how he took a nice walk through the park and saw a cool bird?

This hurts me greatly.

NO BUT LITERALLY This is one of my favorite fandom headcanons because it like… makes sense. While I don’t think every one of Steven’s calls was to an actual number, I like the idea of him having his mom’s contact in his phone, or someone he believes is his mom’s contact.

Marc set up the apartment, we know that, since their mom absolutely wouldn’t have and likely never even went to England, and he’s also probably the one who sent Steven postcards. He’s done so much to build up this elaborate role to care for Steven through, because it’s his only way to interact with him semi directly while still staying in the background. And Steven’s life needs some structure to uphold its illusion, to keep it so that he can exist semi-normally separate from their trauma.

The real phone contact wasn’t their initially, I think, not at first. It was just the house and then the postcards (because Marc visited somewhere on a mission and thought about how Steven always mumbles about feeling trapped or never getting time off from work, and he thought maybe giving him a secondhand window into the rest of the world would help ease the tension. Which it did. And does. So he continues), but then Marc started noticing the calls.

Maybe Steven didn’t do them at first, maybe something about the postcards sparked his brain to talk to her again, put his mom back as a forefront relationship. Like… if she was sending him things, he should too!

Marc started out bitter about it. He’d drift near front and hear Steven chattering away like he was talking to an old friend and it made him feel… wrong, and he’d recoil and sink down so he wouldn’t have to hear it. But it kept going. It never stopped. And Marc started trying to linger close to front more frequently so he could hear about Steven’s day, but that ended up getting messy. His presence would make Steven spacey or confused because he was getting too close, their communication not really at the point of comfortable cocon at that point.

And Marc didn’t want to cause harm (which is what he’d see it as, as intruding on Steven’s life because he’s he only one of them who gets to have that and Marc has already taken so much all he does is steal, doesn’t he?), and so he came up with the contact. He wired it to a burner phone, one he didn’t use for anything else, and labeled it “Mum💖🐊!” and Steven started calling it seamlessly, rattling on to a number that never talked back, to an empty message line.

The messages are always cut off at the start, since Steven usually starts talking before it goes to voicemail, but Marc still gets enough. Steven will slip out of front after a long day, or Marc will push into control for a mission, and there’s something there waiting for him. If he doesn’t have a mission, he’ll sit on Steven’s bed and flip open the little phone, the screen illuminating his face in blue in the dark, and there’ll be a message or two waiting.

(“Hey Mum! You won’t believe it but today I had an amazing chat with a bloke at work…. Yeah! He was some type of exchange student, I think, agreed that tons of the junk we’re selling is inaccurate… Right? It’s a bloody relief that’s what it is. He was quite nice, actually, though I don’t think he’ll be coming back. Shame that. Leaving me stuck with Donna.” Laughter crackles over the speakers.)

If he does have a mission, he listens to the messages on plane rides, and in the back of jeeps, and in the steamy bathroom of a hotel where he’s trying to scrub the blood from his hands.

(“Hey Mum!” “Helloo!” “Mornin’!” “Love you so much, bye!”)

Marc holds the phone so tight to his ear sometimes he’s worried it’ll break. (But it won’t. It’s a nokia for a reason)

The messages allow him to keep tabs on pieces of Steven’s life he can’t be present for, make sure he’s still comfortable and catch any events that might run into time he has to be away. It can be a bit patchy sometimes, since Steven doesn’t always actually press the call button, doesn’t always actually talk to anything, but that’s ok. Marc’s gotten good at taking what he can get, at grasping at scraps.

He’ll answer sometimes, if he’s alone. Pretends like Steven’s talking to him for real. He’ll respond in the space of the blank pauses and hope the reply matches up alright, and sometimes he can almost forget he’s talking to a recording and not the real thing… until the usual “Lators gators!” Steven always tacks on to the end. That always makes Marc’s breath stutter.

It’s stupid. It shouldn’t. He isn’t really part of Steven’s life, not really, so he shouldn’t expect it to feel real. He’s forging a fantasy to step in by proxy, to give him access to information and… a voice. Someone to talk to, even if they aren’t really talking back. It’s close enough. He makes it work.

Sometimes he wonders, though, how close it is to the truth.

Steven says “Mum,” and Marc listens, and wonders how much he takes after her, if his voice raises the same way and carries the same force, if his anger would make others scared like hers did, if he drinks the same way she does, for the same reasons.

Steven says “Mum,” and Marc hears it, and eventually it gets hard to distinguish where the act ends and he begins.

“She” isn’t like this, not like he makes her out to be, not real, but he is. “She” didn’t leave a letter under the door with twisting letters and a reminder to eat regularly, but he did. “She” didn’t leave a little wrapped present for the mail desk to get to him, didn’t look through online pet stores until he found some suitably nerdy tank decorations, but he did.

“She” didn’t care for Steven, but Marc does.

And he’s not quite sure he can stop.

#what did this turn into? i have no idea #is it coherent? also no idea #ALSO SHOULD SAY totally don’t think of post Cairo when everything has been revealed #Steven looking back on everything he thought his mum did for him and just seeing… Marc #seeing him. seeing though the veil. seeing him for him and all his actions and all his care.#def don’t think about that #moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is answering again #mikes mk meta #moon knight 2022

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hopefull-mindset · 3 months

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Hello. I had another question. Would you say the way the relationships/interactions are written between the characters in BSD would be considered queerbaiting?

Technically by definition I would personally say yes, however there's usually a negative connotation that comes with queerbaiting that's related to harming the queer community so I was wondering if you had a more nuanced approach to the topic.

Queerbait… ah my worst enemy of a term has struck again. Mind if I add the Queer Coding discussion into this as well? Because when I see one person denounce the idea of Queer Coding in BSD, another person goes “oh yeah, it’s actually Queerbait”. No offense, but nobody knows what they’re talking about with either term and I understand why. I have my hangups about how they've been used and the blur between them causing this confusion.

I didn’t even realize this was something people argued about because I didn’t think there was enough to argue queer intent anywhere. I’m generally used to vague queer representation getting these types of arguments, so I blanked out with confusion.

For those who don’t know, Queerbait is a term coined to refer to marketing strategies that use the “implied” queerness to market their content to an audience who are interested in that to view their content. Of course, they don’t actually follow through on that “promise” for the sake of their viewership not being disturbed. Maybe they'll put some hints in their little show, and then kill them off when the time is ripe.

That’s where most of its negative connotations come from: Taking advantage of a marginalized group’s need for representation to improve their ratings. People use this… very incorrectly, usually when someone is clearly using Queer Coding in their work and get accused of Queerbait when they don’t follow through with an explicit romantic relationship.

Queer Coding is when a creator writes subtextual hints into their writing that a character or relationship is meant to be read as gay to bypass censorship or stigma within the media they’re writing in. Usually with signals that a gay audience can catch onto or romantic references in plain sight. While technically not the greatest example since MDZS is a danmei, the Donghua wasn't exactly allowed to fully present their relationship for what it was. Surprisingly, they added a scene where a move of Wei Wuxian’s colored both his and Lan Wangji’s robes red to resemble Chinese wedding garments.

I only chose that example because I think it's a great representation of details in plain sight. But then there's the other way I've seen Queer Coding get used and that's in queer analysis where we read a narrative or character as gay because of their distinct traits or plotline that resonates with LGBTQ+ audiences. It gets confusing when people use it both ways, but fandom usually uses it the first way.

I'm a bit bitter when I talk about these two terms because of how often the overlap confuses audiences, and god knows how loosely Queer Coding gets used to describe some vague, homoerotic friendship while the other side starts accusing the author of Queerbait. Then you start questioning if the author was really trying to take advantage of the community, wanted to explore sexuality without commitment, or literally didn't realize what they wrote could be interpreted like that because of how it chooses to write intimacy. It gets messy FAST.

Ah, how do I say this… I get the outrage of not having explicit representation more often, but when Queerbait starts getting used to describing the writing itself rather than just the promotional marketing, it starts losing all meaning to me and becomes a scab on my back. It generalizes the intent of the writer and assumes them in this box of malicious motivations. Then there's the whole argument of whether or not real people can “queerbait”, which is also stupid to me.

The examples people bring up don't even hold up (starts using t.A.T.u in your examples for once because… wow) and a majority only apply this to fictional content because of the super-secret rule to Queerbait. Usually, it can't work because then that assumes the sexuality of the person in question and they fully well could just be non-disclosed queer who's exploring their sexuality, but then what makes the writer a problem? What's stopping you from confusing Queer Coding with Queerbait?? It's different when it's obvious that they're using the queer identity for a quick browny point, but Jesus.

The way fandom uses it is not in these really obvious moments, but in ambiguous writing. I don't understand any of this when we start straying into this territory and I'm trying not to get mad when I'm currently talking about this right now. I am already mad, I failed. Maybe it's just a personal feeling, but I really don't like this term for these reasons. It's useful, but kind sucks. I can go on forever about Queerbait and the misusage of it, and even the way I think its used currently is bullshit anyway, but I digress.

Right right, this is about Bungou Stray Dogs. As you could guess from my rant, I don't think Asagiri is queerbaiting us if you mean it in the “queerbait writing” crowd. So what about Studio Bones?

Bones, well… I mean it's really common for animation studios to draw official art like this and since Queerbait is more of a Western concept, this is understood as just fanservice I think. You can technically count this as Queerbait if you'd like, but you should always consider the fact of a different community always having a different relationship with queer concepts.

Studio Bones's official art of Soukoku is hilarious to me. There’s another one promoting some brand and they're at a fountain dating spot. At least these are not as bad as the official art for Mecha animes in the 2000s lololol.

Moving on, the argument for Queer Coding when it comes to Soukoku tends to rely on these arts. I don't recommend doing that because relying on side content that holds no purpose other than to rile up fans doesn't make a strong enough case. Subtext is the most important part to making a point, so if you can't even point in the direction of the main text, then…

Dazai and Chuuya is a bit bottom barrel of what can be considered Queer Coding. I like Soukoku as much as the next guy (maybe not in the same way) and think their relationship is incredibly fun, but one vaguely homoerotic scene in Dead Apple does not convince me anything of the idea they should be seen in a romantic context. Trust me, I've spent a long time back proofing my arguments as to why my long-term OTP should be understood as gay. Soukoku doesn't impress me in these lines of understanding.

I personally think the way some SKK fans approach their relationship from a purely romantic view and are entirely insistent on this one-note understanding of Dazai’s feelings for him ruins most conversation on the topic of Dazai, Chuuya, Age 15, and his inclusion in Stormbringer. They're very important to each other, but some need to step back to appreciate what they have in canon and then apply romance?

I have no idea why people talk as if Dazai joking around and saying “That's what makes me like you” really meant anything. Makes me doubt half the time if it's just people seeing the panel out of content and have never read the actual novel.

Fyodor and Nikolai shippers are like this too. They take the importance they have to one another (at least for Nikolai, idk what Fyodor thinks of him) and then inflate that into just romance. What they have isn't really Queer Coding, it's just fixation that is seen as romantic. They have their official art, but that doesn't mean much since it's anthology art.

Rimbaud and Verlaine hm… sometimes when an author depicts real people who were in a relationship, they avoid that detail by calling them “brotherly”. The relationship of the real authors shouldn't be pointed at as proof at all because the characters are not the people. I would not recommend romanticizing their relationship either since it was um, I don't think chaotic cuts it. The age gap was disastrous, Rimbaud moved in with him and his wife at some point (obviously making the marriage worse), one of them got slapped with a fish, Verlaine tried shooting Rimbaud, etc.

So me saying that there was no Queer Coding shouldn't mean you can't see them as queer, I just mean there's no proof of Asagiri having that intention. That is all. I think Verlaine and Rimbaud had something going on, but that's purely from my own amusement and appeal.

That's my take on that I guess? I don't see it either way. It takes a lot for me to believe there was an intention to write them a certain way. Even if you asked me, “Do you think Akechi and the protagonist from Persona 5 are meant to be gay?” I'd giggle and consider it from what the p5 royal content was like, but I'd tell you no, unfortunately.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd meta #chuuya nakahara

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eroticwound · 8 months

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Maybe part of my resistance to boxing Carmy and Sydney strictly into the “platonic” category is that I’m not even sure, based on what we’ve seen over the two seasons, if they are even friends. Sydney has been at the Beef/The Bear for a little over a year now (?), so maybe the window has been small to get super close, but you look at her relationships with the other characters and there’s imo much more clarity as to those friendships: she and Marcus of course are very good friends, he was probably her first friend at The Beef; she and Tina, it took some time to build that trust but once it was there Tina became her work mom and Syd values her companionship; although not shown explicitly, I also want to argue that Sydney and Nat have built a friendship of sorts since the end of s1 - they came up with CP at some point, meaning Syd felt comfortable enough (and Nat encouraged) talking shit about Carmy with her when he’s being Carmy. And the omelette was such a lovely act of kindness and care. Syd and Richie’s dynamic is significantly better than in s1, but it’s a bit awkward and kinda in the category of work friend that was once your nemesis but now you happily tolerate, if that makes sense? I do think it’s less intense between them by E10, and I’m curious how them working together like that on expo will make Syd more inclined to trust Richie more. The rest of the crew id say are amicable work friends to just associates?

That leaves her and Carmy. They’ve got crazy chemistry off the bat, their minds operate on almost the same level, completing each others sentences, etc etc. But while that’s great evidence of their strong work relationship, I can see Sydney if asked saying that Carmy is more so just a guy she works (and now is a business partner) with, whereas she’d definitely say Marcus is a good friend, yknow? Syd has huge emotional walls built up, doesn’t like to be vulnerable, though she’s done so when either one of the guys urge her to share more. From Carmy’s end, he actually might (subconsciously) view Sydney as his friend thanks to their easy connection. He also picked Sydney, whereas all of his current “friends” were just inherited from Mikey (sorry Fak). Doesn’t mean he loves them any less or that they aren’t his actual friends — just that with Syd, he’s starting fresh in making a friend. He really wants to get to know Sydney — how she’s feeling, what her former bosses think of her, what Sheridan was like, what her relationship with her parents is like (and he feels guilty for not knowing about her mom) — but his probing always happens in the context of cooking or the kitchen, and so Syd’s default is to be guarded or resort to humor. And I think that there were indications that they were growing closer through the chaos menu, but then he starts to date Claire and that project (and building a friendship) was put on hold for a long time and instead there was big a disconnect cause they weren’t communicating. So like yeah, there are platonic elements, but I say these two are operating as a more ambiguous, “secret third thing”. And especially after E10, I don’t know where their pre-friendship progress stands going forward cause I see their relationship as the one that may need the most repairing post Friends & Family 😔

hey anon! sorry for the delay answering this. i appreciate you dropping these bear thoughts in my inbox :)

i’m not sure what made you think i believe syd and carm are platonic? unless maybe you saw me tag something with “i’m a sydcarmy queer platonic truther.” if that’s the case, let me assure you that puts me firmly in the “secret third thing” camp with you. basically, i think it’s likely carmy is on the asexual spectrum, and what’s more “secret third thing” than a queer platonic relationship?

i agree with your reads on the other, clearer relationships between syd and the bear employees (tho i think there’s also a mentor (syd)/mentee (tina) quality between syd and tina. and marcus obvi feels less platonic/more romantic towards syd)

as for syd and carmy… idk, it’s the most complicated dynamic on the show. i disagree that syd views carmy as “just a guy she works with”—this is a guy she can be *creatively vulnerable* with, a colleague who has serious accolades who is telling her they’re working at the same level. who is telling her out of all the high end chefs he knows, he wants to collaborate with her. like, he believes in her and her food so much that he’s made her his partner in all of this. and that’s in addition to the crazy chemistry you reference! being a chef isn’t just a job for them, it’s an artistic calling. collaborating like they do is more on par with a directing duo than people who just work together in the same department. they make each other better at their chosen art (like that’s straight from under the table scene)

but i agree their friendship is.. in its infancy at the least lmao. and i think your reads for why syd is hesitant are correct. carmy’s only tryna get close and ask personal questions when they’re cooking (because he doesn’t know any other way to bond). that being said, besides her dad, she’s never shown chilling with anyone outside of former or current coworkers. syd clearly forms great relationships with her coworkers, like you point out and as further evidenced by her food crawl in sundae. but it’s heavily implied that syd is just as addicted to work as carm, and might not have a huge circle she hangs out with regularly (yet another syd/carm parallel). she’s got walls, like you say, and is shown to be uncomfortable with a lot of emotion (and can sometimes be a dick about it, like with mikey’s hat <3 ). so there’s allll that at play from syd’s end.

and i do agree that carmy views her as a close friend. i like that you point out everyone in carmy’s life except syd is an inherited relationship. that’s SO TRUE. in general, carmy is really delayed and unaware when it comes to relationships—ALL relationships, not just romantic. fak claims carmy and him are best friends but carm doesn’t think so, or rather he’s not really sure. he hasn’t had enough close friends to say. he thought mikey was his best friend, but then was frozen out and realized he knew nothing about him. he wants to be closer with syd, suggested the palate cleanser, which would have been a great way for syd and him to build their friendship, but then claire came along :\

i *am* super stoked to see where syd and carm’s relationship shakes out next season. like carm’s in suuuuch a bad place, and then syd is SOOO anxious about failing. i fear it’s going to get worse before it gets better… but i do think they’re meant to be together in the best (secret third thing) way :)

#anon #the bear #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #bear meta #meta #sydcarmy #but qpr sydcarmy >:)

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criminalskies · 8 months

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Hi Rome! I wanted to reach out to you because I feel this is a safe space and I know it’s stupid because we don’t even really know each other but I feel like I can trust you and that I have your support. Anyway, I wanted to kind of ask for advice on my sexuality if that’s ok. I’ve been kind of questioning it the last few years but am not really sure what I identify with. I always used to think I was straight but now it feels like I don’t belong in that “category”

I don’t like s3x. I don’t find it to feel good or be fun or anything like that. I don’t mind reading smutty stuff sometimes but when it gets too descriptive, I’m out.

I mostly find men attractive, but I sometimes find women attractive as well. But I don’t really feel sexually drawn to either of them. Like the most I feel is fantasizing about holding their hand or cuddling or maybe making out but certainly nothing past that. I mean I’ve had dreams (not like fantasizing but literal night time dreams) about being with both a man or a woman, but idk if that means anything. And I’ve found that some of the people I find attractive aren’t your typical “hot” people and it thinks it’s because I might care more about who they are than what they look like? Idk

I sometimes fantasize about having a relationship, but in reality I don’t want one. I think I more just like the idea of it and how they are in books and movies, but not the real life situation. Especially when I think about being with someone all the time. I prefer to be on my own. Which I guess is why I wonder if this even really matters, but I feel like I need to know even if it’s not applied?

Anyway, sorry, I’m rambling!! I just wanted someone to discuss this with I guess and I don’t really want to go to my family yet, which is why I wanted to reach out to you (and I guess the tumblr community if you decide to answer this and it’s on your feed lol) and if you do choose to share any advice, thank you, I love you, I love your writing, and the nasty anon people who share their evil words can kindly piss off! <3

Hi baby! Let me start this off by saying there’s no reason for you to feel silly at all, I say that this account is a safe space and I really mean it. I’m glad you feel comfortable and supported by me because that’s a goal of mine to have people always feel that way on my page.

Now, I’m assuming you’re here bc you’ve seen me talk about times in my life when I’ve thought I was asexual or even aromantic? and that stays true. admittedly when you sent me this ask I went full dad mode googling the aro/ace spectrum lingo and terms to make sure I’m giving you the best information. I also researched this stuff a bunch myself because as you say it’s all a bit confusing when you feel you fall between the ‘categories’.

But that’s an important point for me to make here: asexuality and aromanticism are fluid and exist on a spectrum. All our life experiences and ups and downs and mindsets and the people in our lives can change or skew these things, and that’s okay! I don’t expect to identify the exact same way forever. Honestly, when I first learned what aro and ace were, I was a bit lost because doesn’t everybody feel like this sometimes?

So with my newfound research let me try to talk you through what you’re saying?

You don’t like sex, not fun, not desirable, that’s completely valid. I’m finding more and more myself that I maybe fall somewhere under that umbrella, but an interesting term I found online helped me here:

All the different niches of asexuality get a little confusing, but I resonate a lot with this one. I find myself with very little desire to actually partake in sex, but enjoying the fantasies or hypotheticals to be really interesting. I enjoy reading smut and even writing it once in a blue moon, but yeah, in terms of the real thing, I’m becoming increasingly unsure it’s my cup of tea.

I notice you said sometimes smut can be your cup of tea, if it’s nondescript or just implied etc, but usually isn’t. I completely understand what you mean. I think that’s a completely valid stance. You aren’t completely repulsed by sex but you’re also not aroused by it, I totally hear you!

Now you say you find yourself attracted to men and to women, but not sexually. I feel that. I fantasise about having someone to hold hands with and play with their hair, cuddle up under blankets to watch movies, all that fun jazz all the time! so it sounds to me like you’re existing somewhere on the ace spectrum, but you’re not aromantic. That is, you do feel romantic attraction, you do want a partner in some things outside of platonic life. Again! Man!!! I hear you! I want the quiet days and the running errands and having someone who knows me like the back of their hand, but I’m not sure I want that person sexually or at least not all the time.

And the people you’re attracted to, it’s less because of that primary attraction (this term comes up a lot in ace literature, it’s that feeling non-ace people get when they see someone and immediately a fire is lit in their belly, they want that person) and more because you get to know and love them as a person. You are preaching to the damn choir here.

Secondary Attraction is a term for that feeling that slowly grows over time, particularly romantic feelings for someone. It’s mostly coined by Demisexual people, which I feel like maybe you’re fitting into, only not in the sexual way, but in the romantic way. Like you might be asexual but demiromantic where all of your attraction comes from getting to know the person underneath. Sorry if it sounds like I’m making up words at this point but i think it helps to have some language to help describe how you’re feeling. But again! There’s no necessity to define these things. Just saying you’re asexual but you feel romantic attraction can cut it, or saying nothing at all is fine, too. You don’t have to fit into any little boxes sweetheart. Although it can be comforting to know that others fit into the same one, that you’re not alone. But let me tell you, you aren’t 💕💗 I’m right here and I feel you!

Now the part where you say you don’t want a forever relationship, I can understand too. Now it sounds a little like you might exist somewhere within aromantic because you don’t have that desire to have a romantic relationship. That is so okay too.

there are some ace-aro people who are referred to as greysexual or greyromantic (I know this sounds so made up but it helped me feel seen) who can feel some degree of sexual attraction or some degree of romantic attraction sometimes, but for the most part they fit under the general umbrella. Remember, time changes all. We aren’t going to be the same people we are today forever, so we can’t expect one identity to withstand the force of time alone, things change and that’s okay.

Please please remember that being ace or aro does not mean your life will be any less fulfilling than people who have partners. I know that in media, romantic love can be shown as being something a level above platonic love, but really truly your life can be just as marvellous without it my dear.

Please do not apologise for rambling, Rome loves to ramble. My inbox is always open for rambling sweetheart! I have definitely doubled the length of your ramble at this point anyways so I’ll cut to the chase. I threw a lot of labels o it there for you to try them on and see what feels right, but truly, labels aren’t a necessary part of being a human being. You are no less interesting or less important or less understood if you can’t make yourself fit into any one of these categories my love. You’re human, humans are complex and every single one is an anomaly of something. That’s what makes us so damn interesting, okay?

I see you and I understand you. Thank you for coming to me to talk about this, I hope any single thing I’ve said helps. There is no need at all to run to people with a definition of it, it’s perfectly okay to just tell them what you’ve told me, which is how you feel.

Now I love you too my sweet summer child and I’m so glad you enjoy my writing and my blog! And I agree, that anon was a whole mess but for the most part it seems to be over now. I’m so glad I didn’t disable all anon asks now though because then I never would have gotten this from you. I hope I have been of any help at all! The bottom line is you are loved and you are you. There’s no need to change that. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷

also I have about eleven more screenshots from this site if you want them but it’s just all the terms I tried to describe.

#Rome’s advice corner #I am so fucking honoured this person came to me with this #I feel like a proud papa #Rome’s got mail!#anon mail!

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lu-twilights-pup · 1 year

Note

Brainrot solely on twilight hours so here we go!

Trust building with him. It first started off with Wolfie. You’re giving him some of the best scratches and going on and on about something. Which started to become a sight at camps or the such. Simply because your ramblings seem to lull him to some much needed sleep.

You’d talk about some of the random shit to exist. Especially if you’re a Modern!Reader. Talking about random scientific facts— like how the yellow petals on sunflowers are actually more akin to leaves than real petals. The flowers is the fuzzy large middle.

Or, if you’re someone who just go pulled out of a Hyrule and thrown with the chain, some facts about your home. Maybe a festival is happening or about the terrain.

Point is; it’s relaxing. It’s nice! And Twilight appreciates it even since everyone is usually more loose around animals.

And then one day the topic switches to him. And it’s whiplash because w h o a— where did this come from? Where went the usual topics? Did he do something?

Yes! But it’s positive, you swear. Because it’s really just you happily admitting that you feel safe near him. Of course, you feel safe around everyone but you feel like he needs to be told that.

I think I said in another brainrot to cloudninetonin about just throwing out a random “I’d trust that man with my drink” and then him asking what it means. And basically, yeah. That’s really what I keep thinking about.

Just the overwhelming realization that you trust him enough to hand him an item you’re usually cautious with.

“I gotta use the bathroom, watch this for me?”

“I probably should stop Wild before he sets this place on fire. Hold this?”

“Hey bubbas, can you hold this? Wind is wanting to dance with me and I can’t say no for some reason.”

And he guards that shit with his life. Because you’re trusting him where you’d just give him your drink? Your food? Maybe your items all together? And it’s because you trust him.

Twilight builds his relationships off of trust and communication and you bet your ass Reader shakes the shit out of him whenever they wanna talk. Either about a fixation or something that happened or just to hear him talk.

Idk. Just brainrot on relationship building with Twilight.

Bonus if Reader is affectionate! Idk abt you guys but I’m pretty affectionate. I give shoulder kisses to my tall friends and Twi is t a l l. I’m projecting and saying they give him shoulder kisses bc it’s easy access.

That’s it.

That’s all.

Send message

(Could I possibly be 🪶 anon? :0 I’d you don’t have one ofc ofc)

Firstly, yes you may be 🪶 anon!

very much yes this !!!!

I could easily see him slowly sharing more and more with you as time goes on! Maybe not everything obviously, but to a degree a good lot of things, the more your share with wolfie. He wouldn't simply drop random information on you though, he would slip it into conversation or in passing, and perhaps mention something you have trusted him with if it is a topic of interest or something you enjoy! He would seek out to show his trust in you as much as you show your trust in him, both in conversation and battle!

#hall has thoughts #thank you anon #twilight linked universe #he just so neat

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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 1 year

Text

Oh my.

* the community label is incorrect, there are no dirty themes in this *

Happy belated Hallowtide, y’all. Here’s another chapter, slowpokes :)

When - right after A cause for concern. You’re still at the table with Hershel and your glass of activated charcoal. S02 episodes Cherokee Rose + setup for Chupacabra.

What - Hershel just asked you if your brother Shane “is a cause for concern.” Turns out, Daryl walked in and heard. You also keep meaning to talk to Lori but there have been a lot of interruptions...

Relationships - slow cooker Daryl x You is in the works, of course. Right now y’all are at the cooking stage where Daryl just wants to hang out with his only friend :( but you keep being otherwise occupied. You even defend him to Hershel tonight. As for you and the gang, we got casual brotherly/sisterly affection between yourself, Shane, Rick, and Lori.

Perspective - still stuck in 2nd person You + 3rd person “one who often carries the crossbow”

TWs - some language and some alcohol use (Dary-bear)

Pronouns - they/them, feminine implied at times

Word count - it won’t irk you this time

Masterlist - capital idea considering all the references! Checking out the four chapters chronologically before this one (What were your nightmares about?, Better with a friend, Picking a flower = saving the day, and A cause for concern) as well as Too much thinking before bed, Part 2 is recommended.

Him

That old man is sharp. At least somebody else is seeing it.

Really, it’s as if Daryl could literally smell the bullshit during Shane’s little speech at the funeral.

Though, the other old man might see it, too. Dale. It was about a month ago he’d noticed that Dale stopped being chummy with Shane the way he was with everyone else, even to Daryl himself.

And Lori has seemed real uncomfortable around Shane, too, come to think of it.

Maybe he’s not as alone in seeing that guy’s hiding something as he first figured.

It just sucks that Y/N is having to admit that about their own family, if just to themself. And Daryl knows all about what it’s like to admit that shit about a brother, if just to himself.

Speak of the devil, Lori is now walking by him, quietly whispering, “How are you, Daryl?” as she scoots out the front door.

Dr. Farmer (his bad, he doesn’t remember Dr. Farmer’s actual name) tells his friend something about a ‘solution’ (?) and Y/N picks up the glass with black stuff in it and—ew, start to sip it through a straw. The hell is in there?

But before he can get a word out and ask, a high, small voice from behind him scares the shit out of him as it squeaks, “Why are you in here?”

He jumps, turns—and holding a choose-your-own-adventure book is the teenage girl, frowning at him and probably freaked out as fuck. Just look at her eyes, all wide and scared like a bush baby’s.

In a way that sounds kinda like she’s accusing him of something, she next questions, “Do you, um, n-need help findin’ Carl’s room?”

“Nah.”

...

...fuck, this is awkward.

Eyes still so wide they’ll probably fall out, her high little voice again squeaks, “What do you want, then?”

Lucky for him, saving his ass is Y/N’s voice. “Daryl? Hey.”

He takes a few steps toward the table, thinking to himself that it sounded like Y/N’s throat was tight but feeling relieved that he isn’t gonna have to talk to Baby Spice anymore/ever again.

“You here to tell Carl about the Cherokee roses, too?” they ask him with a teensy little smile.

No, I don’t know why I came in here but you’re my only goddamn friend and I knew you were in here. “Yeah.”

“Do you remember which room he’s in?”

I actually have to walk in there and talk to the kid now. “Yeah, s’the one with the little boy in it, right?”

Instead of finding that funny, they make a face that reads as annoyed and tired.

Psht. Getting annoyed himself, he marches down the hallway to the room where the kid is recovering while Y/N, dunno, probably keeps drinking that black sludge and gets interrogated by the old man more.

You

All Mr. Greene asked was if Shane would be ‘a cause for concern.’ That’s it. All you had to say that is that he’s going through a rough time, what is wrong with you?

You need to say something to explain why you couldn’t answer and you gotta figure out where the doctor was coming from in the first place.

“I ain’t cer — I am uncertain as to what your question meant, sir,” you say by way of asking for clarification.

“Simply if you feel that there is a cause for concern regarding him.”

“In what way?” croaks from your throat not much more substantially than a whisper.

But now Beth is joining you and her father at the table so nothing more is said.

She thanks you for the flour and tries to make polite conversation, you try to stay upbeat and friendly.

You’re grateful that her voice is soft, because the ringing in your ears is making sounds louder. Plus, her and Maggie’s accents are twangier like yours, so it makes you feel less self-conscious around her father.

You gulp the drink as fast as you can through the straw. That Mr. Greene mixed the charcoal with Tang and gave you a straw is helping to make it less gross.

And when you notice Beth’s holding a choose-your-own-adventure book, you and she start to have a normal, easy moment—until you feel Mr. Greene’s eyes on you and figure he wants you o-u-t.

So, you excuse yourself, thank him again, and stand up to go wash your glass and straw while hoping your dizziness isn’t too obvious in the way you walk as to upset Beth.

But the doctor stops you. (?)

“I was hopin’ to ask you a favor. Or enlist you, rather.”

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of your cup, you can sit back down,” Beth murmurs to you, and takes it from your hands.

You swallow and find your seat again. “What d’you need help with, Mr. Greene?”

He clasps his hands together on the table. “I gather you’re likely planning on searching for the missing child first thing tomorrow morning?”

“Yes.”

“Is it your intention to remain out for the entirety of the day?”

“No.” Oh my God, why did you just—“I meant, I don’t think it’ll, the, um—” please formulate a coherent sentence. “W-we’ll have re-combed the whole grid and further by the afternoon,” you stammer. “And with seven or, um, however many of us will be out again, I can come back. I ain’t writing Sophia off, doctor, I just know that my duties also lie elsewhere. We all have jobs to do.” Good enough. “Do you need me to stay with Carl?”

You thought you felt his stare burning holes in your face, but when you actually look at him, he’s got his eyes on the table, lost in thought.

“That your group has searched so thoroughly and for successive days, it likely means one thing — and you understand that, I can see it. But it doesn’t discredit the other entirely; perhaps that tomorrow the whole area will have been re-swept means you’ll finally recover her. Sophia.”

You have to cover your face with a hand and turn away. How many times are you gonna get close to tears, this is getting old.

Swallowing the latest lump in your throat, you dab your eye with the corner of your sleeve and nod. “We were going to,” sniff, “check the road off the trail tomorrow, then he — that’s Daryl — he mentioned going to the top of a ridge someplace near to get a high view.”

Mr. Greene looks so much less impatient and unwelcoming than he did before but you aren’t certain the reason. Even his body language has changed.

“There are no infected individuals in any of the houses on that road, I can tell you that,” he informs you. “Otis went by that way more than a few times. There’s one home, however — it’s the one closest to the connecting road, northside. The family boarded it up because of that proximity, I would imagine.” He sighs. “No one answered Otis when he called from outside. It may be because they were newer to the area or perhaps there was somewhat of a language barrier, but the house is boarded securely and Otis never received any responses.” Scratching his eyelid, he finishes, “We decided to assume the Bardales left for a safe zone or perhaps a relative’s.”

“But the family might could still be inside,” you state more than ask. In what manner the family could be in, you neither state nor ask.

“There’s the potential,” he confirms. It seems as if he’s intending to say more but is having trouble doing so.

You wait.

He finishes slowly, “We aren’t certain if they caught the illness.”

Beth is coming back to the table with a snack-sized bag of barbecue chips. She offers to share, so you take one despite your newly discovered taste aversion. Chew. Swallow. Think of Amy and Jim and the Morales family.

“What I wanted to ask you was to help me give Carl a transfusion tomorrow. Now, I don’t know…” He stops talking entirely. “I don’t know if it’s an advisable thing. As we are aware, I am not a medical doctor—”

“—For humans,” you interrupt. He is a medical doctor and he saved your Carl’s life.

He unclasps his hands and holds his palms up. “I am a veterinarian and walking a fine line. Now: I know in some circumstances, anticoagulants are prescribed to postoperative patients who are at an increased risk of clotting. Carl, with his injury in that spot,” he shakes his head, “I cannot get it out of my head that he is at risk.”

His daughter loops her arm through his and rests her head on his shoulder as he takes a deep breathe. “And after the miracle we had in saving him, and the sacrifice it cost,” his tone sharpens when he says that part. You bow your head.

Then he exhales heavily and controlled. “My blood type matches his. Before his surgery, while he was still bleeding out, a transfusion from me would have killed him because I still take a daily anticoagulant. It’s a very low dose, but even that would have been too much for him. Now, however…”

“What risks would there be?” That Carl is alive is what’s keeping you sane and grounded.

“I do not believe he would be at risk of bleeding out with just one pint from me. We know that the stitch has held, and I have been restricting him from moving his core in order to maintain that, and I will insist upon it for a few more days.”

“What did Lori and Rick say?”

“I haven’t spoken to them yet. I suppose one could argue I was practicing the proposal with you.” Mr. Greene rubs the spot on his forehead in between his eyebrows. “If his parents agree, I would like both Patricia’s and your hands on deck. You take direction well, and have much more experience with human medical cases than Margaret.”

You must look as overwhelmed and unconvinced as you feel, because he shakes his head at you and goes on to say, “I’m telling you this in earnest. You did an extraordinary job getting that child’s vein on the first try, at a time when he was profoundly hypovolemic, not considering the emotional trial you were undergoing during the event and the two injuries you sustained in its onset that could have interfered.”

“There’s no need to butter me up, I’ll be there for him,” you mumble. Why is he suddenly being so generous with the compliments?

He appears to sigh again, and next turns to his daughter. “Beth, sweetheart, would you mind putting the tea kettle on for me? I want to ensure privacy while Y/N and I discuss some matters a bit further.”

That tiny seed of dread is still firmly rooted in your gut.

When you see in your side-vision that Beth is off in the kitchen, you state the prepared phrase quickly and quietly. “About your question earlier: Shane is a good and decent man, he simply hasn’t been himself.” There.

Mr. Greene gets that serious, discerning look on his face again. “Has he spoken to you about what happened that night? It must be weighing on him heavily.”

Your posture slumps and you can’t meet his gaze. “He ain’t even talked to Rick about it.”

The front door opens again.

Lori’s back from wherever she had gone. She looks like she’s close to passing out. You even begin to stand because she really doesn’t look well. “Lore, are you feelin’ alright?”

“Just feeling extra tired, honey,” is what she tells you as she walks blindly to the hallway, then stops and heads toward the kitchen. You sit down when you hear the faucet turn on.

“One last question for now, and I thank you for allowing me to do so. The man who walked into my house before, the one who often carries the crossbow?”

“Daryl,” you confirm, somewhat cautious.

“Will he be a problem?”

Your head is shaking ‘no’ before he’s finished asking. “He can come across as…” You shrug, unable to think of a word. “But he’s proven himself to be remarkably…good. My mama would call him a work-in-progress.”

But Mr. Greene’s response is completely justified. “I cannot help but somewhat wonder against your statement when I and my family all noticed the schutstaffel symbol on his motorcycle.”

Holding up your hands as if trying to prove your innocence, you explain, “It was his brother’s, he’s no longer with us. And we all hate it, too.” You grimace in disgust and mutter, “I don’t think Daryl even knows what it means.” With a peek at the doctor’s unreadable expression, you unhelpfully mention, “Glenn and I are keepin’ an eye out for black spray paint to fix it.”

Lori’s footsteps sound back down the hallway. The door to Carl’s room opens and closes.

“Do you feel safe around the man, Y/N?”

“Yes, oddly enough.”

“Why ‘oddly enough?’” he counters.

Is there a bright interrogation lamp over your head? “He comes across as otherwise, and he can be a hot-head,” you concede, shrugging one shoulder. “But he never leered at the women, and the kids didn’t feel uncomfortable or unsafe around him. He hunts for us, is teaching me how,” you go on, then feel testy enough to meet his gaze head-on. “And he’s spent more time out there searchin’ for Sophia than any of us.”

“He never made, um, I’ll call them ‘advances,’ toward you? I don’t know his inclinations, but Margaret is about your age, my Beth is even younger, and I likewise worry about Jimmy’s safety in that way. Their—” he cuts off as the front door opens yet again.

It’s Rick this time. He greets the two of you, pecks a kiss on your head, and goes down the hall.

Mr. Greene takes a moment as if he’s collecting his patience. “Their safety is paramount. And as you can imagine, having strange, angry, armed men tramping around my house and property feels like a very risky game.”

“He’s made none at all to me, and I-I don’t think to others, neither.” No way, y’all would have discussed that. Andrea would’ve been very outspoken about it if he’d ever stared at her chest, for one. “We would have discussed that.”

But whatever the thoughts in his head are, you can’t quite to read them in his expression. And he changes the subject.

“Thank you for your honesty,” he repeats, sighing. “Now, with your permission, I would like to reexamine your shoulder before sending you on your way.”

Him

He told the boy about the flower, all about the search, and even about having been lost for nine days when he was a kid. He sanitized it for Carl’s sake, obviously, made it seem like an adventure.

Sophia is his friend, he’d needed to hear it. At this point, everyone should know so they won’t write that little girl off as a goner.

Weird thing was, the teenage girl—sorry, ‘Beth’— had walked in there partway through and sat herself down as if she didn’t trust him to be alone with the boy.

He ignored her and kept telling Carl stories.

Now the kid’s asleep, still with his dad’s giant deputy hat on.

At one point, Carl fake-complained that “After this, it’ll be forever until they let me go hunting with you guys.”

So, he reminded him, “I told ya: be this tall or when your voice changes, then you can come with.”

Beth is reading her book, still sitting kinda stiff as if she’s nervous.

As for he himself, he’s just listening to a clock ticking and thinking that he wants a smoke and another beer and to not be around someone who doesn’t like him, even if it was just Baby Spice.

When Lori came back into the room with a glass of water, she looked paler than her kid, and that’s saying something. Carl’s about as tan as a sheep.

He didn’t think he should leave, to be honest, she looked so drained. So, he sat there.

Waited.

Wondered what the hell to do and felt awkward as fuck.

It can’t have been more than three minutes when Rick quietly steps into the room.

Relieved, Daryl stands up, grunts “Night,” before zooming out.

Trying not to stomp too loud, he walks out of the hall to find Dr. Farmer doing stuff with Y/N’s arm.

The old man straightens it. Positions it forward. Up. To the side. Up. Asks them to apply pressure from different angles. Has them twist their neck side to side, up and down.

Daryl leans against the wall and crosses his arms.

Sometimes it looks like it hurts them, sometimes not. They make eye contact with each other for a second. Y/N gives him a resigned look, he blankly offers a thumbs up in response.

Then he wonders what the hell he’s waiting for and to stop being creepy, and so stands back up and figures he’ll leave.

“It was mentioned before that your shoulder was previously injured?” the old man questions Y/N.

The door to Carl’s room clicks open again, Lori and Beth exit. Beth scurries away, Lori starts to make for the door.

“About a month-ish back,” Y/N replies.

“What was the mechanism of injury?”

“Um, we was tryin’—we were trying,” they rephrase it, less twangy than usual, “to escape from someplace with a…very shut door. We, um, the pain started after I rammed against it too hard.”

Lori stops where Y/N is sitting and lightly smooths some flyaways in their hair.

The old man makes a hm. “That was the original injury?”

And Lori cuts in, weirdly enough. “It was a slight twisting injury.” Softly, he can hear her murmur, “Honey, remember what happened a couple days before that?”

Y/N looks confused, then remember whatever it was. Their mouth opens, closes.

As he finally walks by and out the door, he ears them whisper all shy, “Th-that only bothered me for a few hours after.”

You

“A twisting injury makes much more sense for the other affected areas to which the pain is radiating, especially the neck and chest,” Mr. Greene affirms.

You didn’t even remember that your shoulder technically got hurt when you attacked Ed. After all, your jaw had been what was bothering you the most.

It’s still so wild to you that you’d gone so…wild.

“Lori, don’t let Carol know—oh, and Daryl, you neither,” you call in case he’s still in earshot. That woman can’t find out, she’ll blame herself.

“If you didn’t recall the initial injury as having been serious, consider it having been akin to small ding in a windshield. Minor impact or driving into a pothole in the road can lead to a bigger crack, and from there, much more serious damage at a moment’s notice. Likewise, having a small injury, even a barely noticeable tear, made the force against the, uh, door injure you more than it may have,” he explains, “which eventually, if the injury did not fully heal or heal properly, worsened still when you carried young Carl here.”

Lori kisses you on the head and places her hands on your shoulders, rubbing them gently.

“Now, I have just about zero knowledge of physical therapy, but Pat will remember the exercises Jimmy needed after a baseball injury last year to his shoulder. In fact, he went back outside to your group’s fire, you can ask him there. They may be helpful.” He stands. “Now, Lori, I’d please like to speak to you and Rick about something important.”

Him

When Y/N came out of the farmhouse, their brother sped over to them and helped them walk back. They ain’t even talking or nothing now, they’re just sitting quietly listening to the conversation and staring into the fire. By the looks of it, they’re dozing off a little against their brother’s shoulder.

Y/N had a silent, tiny cry soon after they first got back, too. Shane simply put his arm around them.

The basic way he’s noticed everybody handle that stuff was to just allow the person get the tears out in peace and not make a big deal about it. Maybe pat the person on the back or whatever but nothing dramatic. There are more reasons to cry these days, you know?

Anyway, Carol is warming up Y/N’s oatmeal.

As for himself, he’s just about to—wait a sec, only a few gulps left—ah, okay, yep, he’s done with his third beer of the night.

Except he doesn’t even have the spins yet, what bullshit. Why doesn’t he just go to bed?

It can’t be because he’s clinging, no way.

Aw, lil Darylina wants to feel like he belongs by clutching to his only friend like a little blankie.

Ugh, you know what? He could just have a fourth beer and shut up. Still got two left back at his tent, and he could crash after. He’ll need the full night’s rest if he’s gonna find Sophia tomorrow. Check out the road, check out the ridge, get that little girl back safe.

You

You must’ve fallen asleep because all you remember after you stopped sniffling was that suddenly Shane was tapping you so you’d sit up. He stood and quietly set off somewhere, passing Lori on his way.

Huh. Lori. You’d been dreaming that she was crying around the campfire. That must be because you had a cry and knew Lori wanted to talk—oh poop, you haven’t talked to her yet, have you?

As you blink a few times to clear the brain fog, Carol hands you a bowl of oatmeal. Smells yummy.

Lori sits by you. Carol hands her a bowl, too. She lifts her spoon but does nothing else. It’s as if she’s miles away as she stares at her boots.

“It’s true, my dad wore his Bulldogs jersey every Saturday,” you overhear Jimmy say. “I wish he could’ve, um…” He pauses when his voice cracks.

If this is where the conversation had been heading, it makes sense to you why your brother hurried off. The guilt from what happened with Otis. You brush away those horrible, heartless, stupid doubts in your head about what happened that night and pass Lori the unused glass by you that she’s gesturing to.

Lori holds out the glass and Carol pours him some of the Tang that Jimmy brought for you all in the pitcher. The kid takes a big gulp, and T-Dog delicately taps Jimmy’s glass with his beer bottle in ‘cheers.’

“He would’ve been so excited to meet you, Mr. Douglas.”

“Nah, I ain’t nobody impressive, Jimmy. But your dad?” T-Dog’s serious expression warms into a grin. “The dude who volunteered on the regular to save lives? I woulda been honored to have met that man.”

Sniffing, Jimmy clears his throat and takes another few sips of his drink. Lori rubs his back a few times from where she’s kneeling, then gets up and sits back by you.

“His favorite game was the day after Thanksgiving, 1994. I was a baby so I can’t remember, but the way he retells the story every Thanksgiving makes me feel like I do.”

“That was a damn satisfying game, let me tell ya. Perfect way to finish the season.”

Cue Jimmy’s eyes to expand two times their normal size as T-Dog begins to chuckle.

“Were you…y-you were playing during that game? The Dawgs obliterated Georgia Tech, it was 48 to 10!”

“Hell yeah we did, kid.”

Him

The discussion morphed to video games and how the teenager’s never fired a gun “Other than in video games at my friend’s house.”

Proper farm boy, minus the part where he’d need to know his way around a rifle to deter hogs and all that. He had a BB gun, and “did skeet shooting with Dad’s shotgun a couple times? We used birdshot, so it was easy enough.”

That’s when Glenn and he hopped into a happy little discussion about…eh, Daryl isn’t sure. He needs to sleep.

Y/N is dosing again, otherwise they’d probably be just as excited to talk about whatever Glenn and farm boy are into. He’s still weirdly disappointed he didn’t get to talk with Y/N. Find out their big secret…or just hang and feel wanted.

Sweet baby Darylina, you getting all mopey? Are you PMSing, sugar?

Dale already excused himself to hit the sack, Lori looked like she was about to. That woman’s looked tired as fuck even before all that went down at the highway.

However, Y/N is accidentally using them as a pillow, and Lori has her head resting against Y/N’s with this look across her face like she’s having war flashbacks.

He closes his eyes for a moment as he stretches before standing up to just get back to his tent already.

…

…zzz...zzz…

You

“Honey,” softly whispered in your ear pulls you out of a similar dream to the one you woke from earlier, but this time, Lori was crying in the house and her older sister was with her. Mr. Greene was sitting at the table and frowning. Shane was trying to get inside. Mama was outside with him but had her hands covering her face.

Rick and you were by the door, but it was almost as if you were guarding it.

Dreams can be so creepy. And stupid, like, as soon as you saw Evie, you should’ve realized it wasn’t real life.

Back to the here and now, Glenn and Jimmy are really into whatever they’re talking about. Videogames? You’d probably be into it if you weren’t half-asleep.

Lori stands up. Hold up, are her eyes wet?

“You should head to bed, too, come on.” She holds her hand out to help you up. Taking it with your good arm, you hold on when you stand, and the two of you bid your goodnights to the group.

Aw, Daryl is asleep where he’s sitting, can you believe it?

Him

It’s when his head flops forward that he finds himself jolting awake.

Turns out, like his friend, he also fell asleep right there in front of the campfire.

Except now Y/N and Lori are gone.

…This night has been really annoying, just saying.

Actually standing up this time, he grunts what probably passes as a ‘goodnight’ and shuffles drowsily storms off to his tent, set apart from the others.

You

Ears still ringing, you walk slowly to your tent and wonder where Sophia’s sleeping. “I just had the funkiest dream, Lore. Evie was in it.”

The muscles in her arm tighten. “Evie?”

“She looked good. Had on civvies instead of a uniform.” You chuckle to keep it light. “She was hugging you.”

Lori runs her hand over her face. Once at your tent, she and wishes you a “Goodnight, Y/N,” and wraps her arms around you in an unusually tight embrace that she maintains.

“Did you wanna talk now?” you check. “We kept gettin’ interrupted.”

She avoids eye contact as she pulls back and assures you, “It-it’s okay, honey, it’s nothing.”

Memories of that strange night and morning at the CDC start replaying in the back of your mind. There’s a red flag waving with it, but maybe that’s due to your weird nap dream a few minutes ago.

Still, you offer, “I can talk about nothing, easy.”

She hesitates. Inhales.

But all she finally says, with a smile that doesn’t convince you, is, “I just need some sleep.”

White lie. You almost tell her she owes a quarter.

Her lip wobbles and she hugs you again, and you squeeze back as much as your shoulder will allow.

“I’ll see you at breakfast, honey, okay?”

“Make sure you sleep in, Miss Patricia mentioned that. G’night, Lori, love you.”

And as she pulls her button-down off her hips to put it back on, whatever was in her back pocket falls out.

Ha, why does she have a digital thermomet…oh.

Oh my.

Ohh my, okay. Okay.

That wasn’t a digital thermometer, a fact made clear by the way she scrambled to grab it when she realized it had fallen.

“Lori?”

You end up on the floor of your tent, sitting there dazed with your mouth open while the ringing in your ears seems to grow louder. She quickly crouches and pulls the door flap down.

She stops hiding the test and rests her hand in her lap as she sits beside you, her fingers gripping it tightly.

You stare at it.

Yep, it’s a pregnancy test.

It’s got the little plus sign, too.

Taglist (inbox if you are interested, friends)

@spenciepoo338 @its-freaking-bats @whistlesalot

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thethiefandtheairbender · 2 months

Note

Thank you so much for creating the anchorverse. I’ve read all of your work in the verse and it’s so amazing. Might be my favorite fanfiction universe to date. I know you’ve moved on to other projects and that’s fine.

My question is can you elaborate a bit on what Myuna and Chen(her supposed love interest) relationship is like? It’s ok if we never get a fic about them since you’re busy but maybe how they met or how they fall in love. Apparently they rescue him from a shipwreck but what’s their general love story line?

I hope you don’t take offense to my ask. It’s just I’m very interested in Myuna’s story and especially her love life. I personally don’t like the dragon prince, so I can’t even read your other works besides anchor

First off thank you for your kind words! Myself and others such as @kuno-chan have actually continued to write in that verse here and there but privately since we didn't think there'd be much of an audience for it, but it's good to know the Anchor love is still strong almost 10 years later!

For Myuna, I always figured she'd be very responsible and obedient — fun loving and mischievous, but always guided by a deep pride in her family and trust that they knew best. I think in my notes she's the one who spots the shipwreck, and they go and rescue the one survivor they find there, a boy around her age (a couple years older) named Chen. The crew takes him under their wing (because of course they do) and she and Chen become friends, even if he's a bit more stingy / mistrustful of her family than she'd like him to be, particularly of her father.

The idea was going to be eventually that he was working for a Sea witch who wanted revenge on them and had a hold over a spell that'd been cast on Jinora (for the 3rd anchor fic that never ended up happening) when the previous caster was murdered. And Chen goes with it because he's Zaheer and P'li's son, so obviously that carries some weight / issues.

Myuna is very angry at him when he 'betrays them' later, but they do work together to save her family, and he stays on with them as a crew member (and honestly probably eventually becomes her first mate once she's captain).

At the time I pictured it being a more straight forward romantic relationship even if romance never felt like a Priority for her, but since growing up and coming out, I actually do see Myuna being aroace and poly — I think she'd be interested in having multiple platonic partners, although in this verse, Chen would probably be her main if not her only.

But yeah if you're interested in more of my writing I'd recommend my original WIP sideblog @alvoskia since I have a book coming out in 2026 that features a similar "ragtag group of misfits" element to it + protagonist with anger issues and talks about mental health in a way that's reminiscent of Anchor!

I would also recommend giving The Dragon Prince another chance (depending on when you stopped watching, I always push for end of S2 at least) if only because the most recent season had an honest to god multiple episode plot line that gave me big "Paradise under Quil" vibes!

Not to mention Callum and Rayla's relationship reminds me of Anchor Kai and Jinora's in terms of like mental health and devotion and working on communication, but that's just me, maybe!

#anchor au #thanks for asking #anonymous #a throwback #myuna gyatso #i also think a LOT of what i've written for tdp is like. my best fanon work but anyway #much better writer now than i was writing the bulk of anchor #although i have a lot of love and respect for that version of me as well

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harry-styles-obsessed · 1 year

Text

The agony of love

Warnings: angst, past love, this one’s going to be short but still hope you enjoy!

“Look at me!” You shouted, raising your voice, harry held a notebook on his lap scribbling angrily onto it. You and him had decided to try and fix the relationship you and him once had but it wasn’t going very well. He was struggling to cope from moving on from his ex and you were struggling to cope with the fact that you knew he didn’t love you. You knew he was still in love with her and that pained you “Harry I get you’re in love with her! That’s fine! But let me in! Let me talk to you talk to me! Communicate!” You shouted tears practically ready to trickle down your cheeks but you wouldn’t let them. No way.

Harry remained dead silent not showing any emotion as he continued to scribble things onto the paper, seemingly scribbling random circles onto the page. He was never good with his words when tough conversations came up. “What did I do, harry? What did I do to make you hate me?” You asked staring at him hopelessly and for the first time in those few moments his eyes locked with yours as he frowned “hate you? I don’t hate you y/n….” He said and you let out a tearful laugh “tell your face that.” You spat out pain in your eyes “why do you love her more than me?” You asked and he stared at you “because she actually loves me.” He said your heart splintering into a million pieces “she treats me like I’m somebody” he said and you stared at him blankly

“She was there for me when you weren’t, she loved me, she was there to lift me up when no one else was there! She’s loved me from the very beginning.” He said calmly and you stared at him shocked “so I’m now kicked out of the picture? Would she of loved you when you were normal harry?! Not famous?! Huh? Or is she just using you for your money! Has that ever crossed your mind?!” You yelled and his brows furrowed “No one loved me when I was not famous y/n! No one! Not a single soul knew me! No one believed in me! Maybe my mum, yes but no one else! I was unlovable!” He yelled and that’s when you snapped “I LOVED YOU” you screamed, the sudden raise of your voice knocking it out of you as tears streamed down your cheeks “I loved you so fucking much, harry… you were my first kiss… I LOVED you.” You said and as he stared at you pain formed in his eyes as he smiled sadly “I’m sorry y/n.” He whispered his tone soft yet cold “life moves on…” you remained silent watching him as he stood up dropping the notepad onto the sofa “I don’t love you… maybe in another life yeah? But not this one…. find someone else okay?” He lightly cupped your cheek in his hand as you gazed into his eyes “find someone who loves you… find someone who treats you right.” He said softly brushing his thumb against your cheek as he forced a smile… this was the end… the end of your chapter with him…. The happiest story of your life was coming to an end and you didn’t want it to end- not like this. “Harry please” you begged and he stared into your eyes “I’m sorry.” He whispered dropping his hand back down by his side as he made his way out of the house leaving you hurt and heartbroken…. He came into your life, fixed your broken heart just to leave you with a broken heart that he had caused.

You sat down on the sofa picking up the notepad glancing down at the scribbles on the paper, tears slept dripped down onto the paper as you sniffled trying to contain yourself but struggled to do so. The tears that blurred your vision soon cleared away and you soon read little words at the bottom of the page

I’m sorry, I’m never good with my words. I’ll be back… just wait for me.

You let out a laugh tears continuously streaming down your cheeks. You were over him. He wanted her so you’d leave… he could have her, spend all his time with her… you’d live your life somewhere else with someone better… just as he told you to… you weren’t going to let him hold you back no matter how much it hurt and you grabbed the pen tears leaving marks on the page as you scribbled down a response so if he returned he’d find it

No. I’m going to find someone who loves me. Stay with her… I don’t care. But when she breaks your heart don’t come crawling back to me. Goodbye, H.

Love the girl who always loved you when you couldn’t love yourself.

#harry edward styles #x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles #yn #imagines #angst #stories #harry angst #sad #romance

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badpostureart · 11 months

Text

Message in a Bottle (pt. 2)

For anon, who asked my thoughts about secondary characters in Free! (continued).

I like Natsuya, I really do, but the guy needs to smarten up! While it’s totally understandable that he wanted his little brother to step out from his shadow and become his own person, I think it’s unwise to just throw Ikuya in the proverbial deep end, watch him almost drown himself, and refuse to help him. It’s obvious that Natsuya cares a lot about Ikuya, but he seems to struggle with actually being there for him. I don’t know why as an older brother, knowing your baby brother is shy, you wouldn’t try and introduce him to other kids or offer to do things together. It sounds like he just stopped showing up for Ikuya and didn’t explain to him why. Now, it isn’t Natsuya’s fault that Ikuya became a moody son-of-a-bitch as he got older, but he made it so that Ikuya didn’t feel comfortable confiding in him anymore. There would be no need to strap Hiyori with the responsibility of looking out for Ikuya and giving him updates about how he’s doing if Natsuya would just show up. Then again, it wasn’t until recently that Natsuya even considered showing up for himself and thinking seriously about what he wants to do with his life…maybe he thinks commitment is scary, hm?

I don’t think Natsuya purposely withheld love/affirmation from his brother. Maybe he just underestimated how badly he needed it or felt too awkward to say how proud of him he was. How all of this became Haru’s fault of all people is beyond me, and maybe that’s why seeing the Kirishimas actually reconcile and start to communicate felt…just meh. I’m not sure Natsuya understood the gravity of what he did, nor do I think Ikuya directed his hurt at the right person. They’re in a much better place than they were, but I’m not sure either brother fully owned up to anything, does that make sense?

Which segways to Ikuya himself. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that some of my frustrations with this kid may simply be due to projection. I too was once a moody son-of-a-bitch, so I get it, I do. And because I get it, I know that at a certain point, you gotta own up to it. You gotta say, “My attitude is shit. Yeah, people have let me down, and I feel lonely and angry, but I can’t keep holding onto all this shit and being miserable. I have to do something about it.”

In Dive to the Future, Ikuya expressed wanting to be a hero like Haru: “Not a hero that fights evil and stuff, but the kind that everyone looks up to. The kind that helps out whenever someone is lost or stuck.” But the only “heroic” thing Ikuya seemed to have done since smiling at another kid in kindergarten was convincing his university team captain to put Hiyori on the relay team with him at regionals—which they should have been doing together the whole time anyway! Then in the Final Stroke, Ikuya tells Rin, “Back then, I looked at the stars with Haru like this…as I made a wish to be able to swim faster.” So, was he just saying that “hero” stuff to look good? Or does he think that people admire Haru simply because he is a fast swimmer?! See, here I go getting pissed off again!

This is perhaps a bit off-topic, but something that both frustrated and interested me was Ikuya’s curiosity about the nature of Haru’s relationship with Rin. He’s straightforward in asking Rin if he’s happy to see Haru win or finds it frustrating, he tags along with them to see the venue in Sydney despite being “well aware…that this is an important place to you [two],” and asks Rin if he was okay not being in the room with Haru after he collapsed for the nth time. It seems as though the primary reason Ikuya wanted to start spending time with Rin was to try and sus out why he’s so important to Haru. On the one hand, it feels like he’s intruding and being nosy. But on the other hand, the more he pries, the more Rin talks about how much he adores Haru and the more it’s made plain that Haru feels the same way…and as a member of the Rinharu propaganda department, I hoard those moments like treasure!

Ikuya certainly pisses me off, but he’s not a bad person, y’know? Just dramatic! But so am I for getting so worked up over his shenanigans!!

For someone who has always been “mature for his age,” Hiyori has a really warped understanding of how friendships work. Ikuya was patient and reached out to Hiyori when nobody else seemed to give him the time of day and from thenceforth, he became this glorified hero figure in Hiyori’s eyes that he wanted to hoard for himself. He actively chased away people who tried to get close to Ikuya, dubbing them unworthy of being his friend, even though those people would probably become his friends too if he wasn’t such a territorial weirdo. Even after Ikuya reconciles with his old relay team (despite Hiyori’s attempts at preventing this), Hiyori remains weirdly possessive over Ikuya. When Sousuke compliments Ikuya’s strength as a swimmer in light of Sydney’s prelims, Hiyori thanks him. Sousuke, reasonably enough, wonders why he’s saying thank you. I don’t think it was because Hiyori was trying to take credit for Ikuya’s strength or to thank Sousuke on his behalf, but more likely that he means to say thanks for complimenting his Ikuya. Hiyori seriously gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Also, I still can’t believe he got away without so much as a bloody nose after telling Haru that “everyone who swims with you ends up suffering somehow, huh?” The sheer audacity is baffling!

Ryuuji, much like Haru, has unorthodox methods and is a bit of a weirdo, so I think he’s a good fit as his coach. However, I also think he’s sometimes too hard on Haru and his advice that he should “throw things away” to become a better swimmer is fucking awful. I won’t go as far as saying that Haru’s falling out with Rin after Sydney is Ryuuji’s fault, and I don’t think he was wrong to tell Rin that he needed to fix things himself, but Ryuuji was the one to tell Haru that “the only ones who make it are the ones who don’t waver an inch, even if something happens to someone they care about.” Or in other words, one shouldn’t let things in their personal life affect their swimming, no matter how dear or important. This logic operates under the assumption that swimming is (and should be) completely divorced from everything and everyone else, which is directly contrarian to how Haru swims! It’s literally what sets Haru apart from someone like Albert! Moreover, if your athlete calls you in the middle of the night out in the pouring rain and tells you he’s ready to sacrifice everything to improve despite explicitly saying previously that he won’t do that, you’d probably think something must’ve happened, right? Then you watch him over-exert himself because he’s in a hurry against his own anatomy and your solution is to shove Rin against a wall and tell him that it’s his responsibility to fix things with Haru?

I’ve never been in sports myself, so I can’t say for sure to what degree a good coach should be involved in their athlete’s personal life when it’s clearly affecting how they perform. Still, I don’t know how realistic it is to expect Haru to just forget everything while he swims—because on the one hand, it’s important to focus on himself as he is instead of pushing himself too hard in order to surpass others, but on the other, distancing himself from the people that he cares about so he can spend all his time and energy training is counterintuitive because his bonds are where he draws his strength from. I suppose this is why the expression “don’t mix business and pleasure” exists because swimming simply isn’t “just a job” for Haru, nor is it separate from everything else he cares about. This is his life we’re talking about here! I hate the idea that life is supposed to stop just because a person has a job to do!

And hell, maybe I’m misinterpreting things and Ryuuji’s stupid advice to Haru had no impact on his decision to throw himself into a self-destructive spiral. But if Ryuuji wants Haru to avoid the mistakes he once made, I think it's unwise to advise him to stop concerning himself with people he cares about. Y’know that shit Ryuuji told Rin? That he needs to “grab on to what’s important” to him “and not let it go”? That’s the advice he needs to give Haru too. He doesn’t need to give up anything—all he’s ever had to be is himself. Wait, shut up. Just as I’m typing this out, I realized that Rin pulling Haru into an embrace in the night pool is literally grabbing on to what’s important and not letting go. Oh! I’m gonna make myself cry! GOD, I LOVE RINHARU! Much like Haru’s personal life being intertwined with swimming, BadPosture’s Free!meta is never without Rinharu!

Kinjou is an arrogant son-of-a-bitch with a history with Ikuya and Hiyori that I am completely oblivious to. I’m seriously wondering if there was another movie or something that I missed because I don’t know what’s going on with them. He shows up for the first time at the end of Road to the World to tell Hiyori that he thinks he’s worse off being friends with Ikuya and to call him “Hiyori Crybaby.” I don’t remember Hiyori’s character ever being established as a crybaby, so I’m not sure where this nickname came from. Then in the first part of the Final Stroke, we see that Hiyori and Kinjou met as kids, but something else must’ve happened between then and university because kid-Hiyori moving away suddenly doesn’t explain Kinjou’s animosity towards Ikuya.

At the prelims, Kinjou calls Ikuya “Mermaid Princess Hero,” which means he’s probably heard Ikuya’s claim that he “gave up his heart in order to get stronger,” but “couldn’t become human.” Who’s to say if he knows anything about Haru? Anyway, he also brought over another breaststroke swimmer named Kotetsu Sudou to intimidate Ikuya, saying, “You might always be pushing Hiyori and your brother around…but don’t get full of yourself.” So…Kinjou bullies Ikuya because he doesn’t want him going around thinking he’s hot shit? I was gonna say that this is pretty unnecessary, but I just remembered the whole “Bullying Ikuya For Sport” thing, so I guess I’m not one to talk… Anyway, he goes on to say something rather curious about Ikuya’s performance at prelims: “Don’t show me such mediocre swimming. There’s too big of a gap between you and Sudou…even though there’s someone rooting for you.” Does he think that Ikuya’s performance should be enhanced knowing that he has Hiyori back home rooting for him? While that’s an awfully romantic statement, it’s not exactly realistic! Then later, Kinjou confides to Hiyori that he’s jealous of Ikuya because he’s “blessed” …presumedly in the form of cheerleaders Natsuya and Hiyori. Perhaps knowing that Ikuya takes his support system for granted is what makes Kinjou dislike him. (And perhaps he and I have more in common than I thought!) Then again, in the second part of the Final Stroke, Kinjou apologizes to Ikuya for “always lashing out” at him and Hiyori, effectively resolving the matter less than two minutes into the movie. So…that’s that?

Then there’s the business with Kinjou’s cousin, Kiyo. What the hell happened to him? Is he even still alive? Because I know next to nothing about this mystery relative, Kinjou’s conversation with Ryuuji about him “going through a lot” is really confusing! And then in the next movie, Ryuuji says to Kinjou, “I’ll save you someday, too!” LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. (And in case you forgot, Ryuuji, your only charge ends up in rehab after one season of you coaching him! You aren’t in any position to be saving anybody, bitch!!) Anyway, it’s obvious that Kinjou’s arrogance is his way of overcompensating for the fact that he’s a lot more sensitive and cares more than he wants to let on. He’s something of a tsundere whose actions run contrarian to his words—because while he keeps saying that he’s only swimming for himself, he joins the Haru protection squad and swims to give Haru a chance at competing in the final. So, in short, I think Kinjou is alright, but I haven’t spent enough time with him to get to know him, y’know?

Albert is something of an enigma, but mostly because I have no idea what his motivations are. He’s an ominous figure in the world of swimming, with the nickname “Odin” instead of the usual animal motif. Mikhail cautions Rin that his swimming is “out of this world” and Isuzu says there are rumours that anyone who swims with him “feels their mind being torn apart.” But when he meets Haru, he seems…nice? He’s not arrogant like Kinjou and he actually seemed to be kind of free-spirited. We see that he’s an exceptionally quick learner and he acknowledges Haru as a swimmer. Nevertheless, competing against Albert disrupted Haru’s subconsciousness (in that the answer to the big “why do you swim�� question gets fuzzy in his mind) …but I’m not exactly sure why. Mind you, Albert’s interactions with Haru after they met are just downright bizarre. He says such cryptic shit like, “The water favours you, I can tell,” but he seemed so genuinely pleased that I can’t get a proper read on him at all!

It’s my understanding that Albert’s team manager is living vicariously through him, and so Albert has been strapped with the expectations and dreams of someone else. I can understand why he’s a clinical swimmer because the only things that matter to his team are his appearances and results. With that all said, I wonder if Albert chose to miss the finals in Sydney partly as an act of defiance against his manager and partly to fuck with the psyche of other swimmers—especially after dismissing Kinjou completely before the semi-finals and telling Haru that he’s “not swimming for fun today. I’m just going out there to do my job.”

Feeling as though he had to take on Albert alone is what made Haru “throw everything away” (in the form of a dissociative episode where he breaks things off with Rin), and then launch himself into self-destructive training under Ryuuji. The second part of the Final Stroke is all about Haru recanting that idea and accepting the support of others. Meanwhile, Albert is hardly in this movie at all! I think my biggest question is whether or not Albert likes or wants to break the spirits of other swimmers. I honestly don’t think he does, so I can’t help but feel bad for him. Still, his general cadence is so fucking weird! I have no clue what he’s thinking at all!

#free iwatobi swim club #natsuya kirishima #ikuya kirishima #hiyori toono #azuma ryuuji #kinjou kaede #albert wahlander #haruka nanase #rin matsuoka #rinharu #rinharu is always implied in everything I write #long ass post #free!meta #badposture answers

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