#like honey look in the mirror before you call anyone else out for being extra lmao

[goldenempyrean]

I am Supergirl

〚 Notes- Okay so this was just a small lil idea I had, not much else to say really :P I wrote this before the poll so anyone who voted Kara enjoy :D 〛

〚 Pairing - Kara Danvers x Reader (+ Platonic Lena) 〛

〚 Summary - After solar flaring, Kara catches the flu but in true fashion goes to work feverish and delirious - much to the disbelief of her boss.〛

〚 Wordcount- 1745 〛

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It was a brisk morning in National City, and the aftermath of the previous day's epic battle were still evident. Kara had fought tirelessly against a formidable alien threat, leading to an intense solar flare. She had been drained completely of her Kyrptonian abilities.  

Ignoring her pounding headache and the chills that racked her body, Kara dragged herself out of bed and donned herself in a thick jumper and pants. She hoped that the outfit would help warm her up a little, but as she looked in the mirror, she couldn't help but notice the paleness of her usually vibrant face. 

Taking the bus was the worse decision she could’ve made. It was awful. Everything seemed to swirl and spin around her. Not only that the clammy atmosphere and cramped seats made her feel as if she was being boiled – wearing this jumper was definitely not a good idea. 

As the bus finally arrived at CatCo Worldwide Media, Kara stumbled off, feeling more disoriented than ever. She clutched her bag tightly and forced a weak smile as she entered the building. The fluorescent lights seemed extra bright, and the noise of the bustling office felt like an assault on her senses. She desperately tried to push through the fatigue and make her way to Lena’s office to get her morning debriefing. 

Kara sneezed; the sound amplified by the quiet surroundings as everyone turned to look. Her weakened muscles couldn't keep her fully balanced, and she swayed dangerously. Instinctively, she reached out to steady herself against the nearest wall, but her fingers only grazed the surface before she lost her balance completely. 

“Kara? Kara!” Lena yelled seeing the blonde physically stumble into a reporter's desk, rubbing at her nose with her sleeve and mumbling something under breath. 

“Kara, what on earth are you doing?” The Luthor asked, she reached out to pull her into her office but as Lena’s hand met Kara’s skin her eyes widened in concern at the blazing heat radiating from her. 

“Mmmh ‘ere to work.” She slurred, “‘s got a job to do.” 

Lena practically carried Kara into her office where she sat her down on the sofa, placing her hand gently on her forehead, “Shit Kara, you’re really burning up. Why on earth would you come in with a fever like this, never mind better question, how did you get here like this?”  

Her mind was racing with the million dangerous things that could’ve happened to her. Kara was the first ever real friend she’d had and something like this filled her with worry. 

“Mmh’ took ‘s bus”. Kara mumbled before breaking off into a chesty sounding cough, curling further in on herself. 

Lena was kneeling down at her side with some water in an instant, “Honey you need to drink this,” she instructed, holding the glass to her lips as she supported the back of the blonde’s head, helping her drink, “I’m gonna call Y/N, alright? They’ll come pick you up. In the meantime, you’re going to sleep. I’ve never seen you like this.” 

Kara shivered, chills running down her exposed arms, “I am?” 

“Yes. You are, stay here and I’ll go get you a blanket from storage.” Lena sighed before hurriedly going off towards storage. 

Despite Lena's best efforts to convince Kara to rest and take care of herself, the stubborn Kryptonian journalist was having none of it. As soon as Lena left to get a blanket, Kara attempted to get up from the sofa, but her weakened state caused her to stumble - it was by some sheer stroke of luck that she managed to stay upright. 

“Excuse me?” A sudden stern voice stopped her in her tracks, “Kara what the hell are you doing up?” Lena sighed, leading the mumbling girl back to the sofa, instructing her to lay down before draping a soft grey blanket over her. 

Kara's eyes drifted closed as exhaustion weighed heavily on her. "But I hav’ responsibilities..." 

"You're no good to anyone if you push yourself to the point of collapse," Lena insisted firmly. "Trust me, the world can wait. Right now, you need to prioritise your health." 

Kara groaned weakly, her eyes half-lidded as she mumbled, "Can't rest... people... need Supergirl." 

Lena furrowed her brows in concern, just how delirious was this girl, "Supergirl can handle things. Right now, you need to focus on getting better. You can trust her to take care of the city." 

"Nooo... I am Supergirl," Kara murmured, her voice barely audible as she coughed again. 

Lena's eyes widened, and she leaned in closer, thinking she must have misheard. "What did you say?" 

"I'm Supergirl," Kara repeated, her words clearer this time, though her eyes were still unfocused, “Its’s me.” 

Lena couldn't help but let out a small, disbelieving laugh. "Kara, you're just delirious from the fever honey. It's okay. I know you're dedicated to your job, but you don't have to pretend to be Supergirl right now." 

Kara's brow furrowed, and she weakly protested, "No, I mean it. I'm Supergirl... I've always been Supergirl. I can fly like woosh.” She made the motion with her hand which apparently was a bad idea and she groaned in response. 

Lena sighed, deciding to play along with Kara's delusion to keep her calm. "Alright, alright. Of course, you’re Supergirl. Now, close your eyes and get some rest, okay?” Boy, was she going to tease her about this once she was feeling better. 

As Kara drifted in and out of consciousness, Lena kept a watchful eye on her, making sure she stayed as comfortable as possible. She grabbed her phone and dialled a number she knew by heart, putting the phone on speaker so she could tend to Kara while waiting for the call to connect. 

After a few rings, a familiar voice answered, "Hey, Lena, what's up?" 

"Y/N, it's Kara. She's really sick," Lena replied, concern evident in her voice. 

"Oh no, is she okay?" You asked, immediately picking up on Lena's worried tone. You didn’t hear it often so when you didn’t you knew it was serious. 

"She’s got a pretty high fever, and she's delirious, probably the flu I think. Can you come to CatCo and take her home? I'm really worried about her," Lena explained, glancing at Kara, who was still half-conscious on the sofa. 

"Of course, I'll be right there," You replied reassuringly, as you searched your pockets for your car keys, "Tell her I'm on my way." 

You rushed to CatCo , worrying about Kara's condition. When you arrived, you found Lena sitting next to Kara, who was wrapped in a blanket and looking awfully pale. Lena looked relieved to see you and quickly filled you in on what had happened there. 

"She's been insisting she's Supergirl," Lena whispered to you, a hint of amusement in her voice, "I think it's just the fever talking, but she's really out of it." 

You gave Kara a gentle smile and stroked her hair as you tried to hide the flicker of worry. Kara never told anyone about Supergirl, you’d been there countless times when hiding the truth became too much so to hear she’d finally said it in her feverish delirium, well that worried you a little. At least Lena didn’t seem to buy it. "Hey, Supergirl, I'm here to take you home. Let's get you out of here and into bed, okay?" 

Kara weakly smiled back at you, her eyes still unfocused, "Y/N?” 

"It’s me sweetheart," you replied, trying to keep your voice light to put her at ease. "You should’ve told me this morning you were sick; you should’ve stayed home love.” 

You carefully helped Kara stand up, supporting her with your arm around her waist as she swayed slightly. Lena followed closely; concern etched on her face. With your help, you managed to get Kara outside and into your car, laying her down in the backseat. 

As you drove back to her apartment, Kara drifted in and out of consciousness, occasionally muttering something about saving people and protecting the city. You kept as close as an eye possible on her in the rearview mirror, making sure she was okay as you quickly got her home. 

As soon as you reached Kara's apartment, you carefully carried her inside, laying her down on her bed. Lena followed behind, offering her assistance. Together, you made sure Kara was comfortable and tucked her in under the covers. The apartment was cooler than CatCo, which was a relief to the very clammy Kara. 

Her fevered mind seemed to latch onto your comforting presence as she reached out to grab your hand before you could leave, “Stay?” 

"Of course, I will baby." you replied, feeling a mix of worry and tenderness for the woman lying in front of you. You had seen her as Supergirl, strong and confident, but seeing her vulnerable like this was a reminder that in some ways she was just as human as you were. You climbed onto the bed and settled down beside her, making sure to keep a safe distance so she wouldn't feel overheated. "Just rest, and I'll be here if you need anything." 

Kara shifted slightly closer to you, seeking your warmth and comfort. She curled up against your side, resting her head on your shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered, "You always take care of me." 

"You're welcome, Kara," you replied softly, gently rubbing her back to soothe her. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what." 

As Kara nuzzled against you, seeking solace in your presence, she let out a small, involuntary sneeze. The sound was muffled by your chest, and you could feel her body shivering with chills. You pulled the covers up to her shoulders, ensuring she was snug and warm. 

"Sorry," Kara sniffled, sounding apologetic, "I can't seem to stop sneezing." 

"It's okay, don't worry about it," you reassured her, running your fingers through her hair. "Just focus on resting and getting better. I'll take care of you." 

Kara's eyes fluttered closed, and she let out a tired sigh. "You're the best," she whispered, her words slurring slightly from exhaustion. 

“You’re the best too but maybe we can work on staying home when we’re sick and not spilling your secret to everyone?” You teased whilst rubbing her back sweetly. 

Kara managed a weak chuckle, her eyes still closed. "Yeah, maybe I should work on that." she mumbled, her voice growing fainter as she drifted closer to sleep. 

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#kara danvers x reader #kara danvers #kara zor el #kara danvers x y/n #supergirl #lena luthor #supergirl sickfic #sickfic #fluff #comfort #kara danvers sickfic

[anythingwriter]

The Doe Eyed Woman

Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: Nothing really, just swearing and my bad writing:)

Requested by: anonymous

Word count: 1,923 of pure trash

Summary: Grace doesn’t understand why Tommy won’t give her the time of the day, but when she sees a beautiful doe eyed woman comforting Tommy she’s even more confused. So she decides to ask Harry who the mysteriously beautiful woman is.

*******************************************************

Grace was having a hard time figuring out Thomas Shelby. She thought he was going to be easy to seduce, what more could he want? She was a beautiful woman who seemed to care about him. So why wouldn’t he even spare her a glance?

She had been working at the Garrison for weeks now, always making sure to push up her breast a little more than normal and look at Tommy like she wanted to pounce him when he walked through the doors, but when she was only receiving hungry and lustful stares from his brother John, she gave up. Was she not trying hard enough? Or was she trying too hard?

One day she dolled up extra nice, wearing a beautiful emerald dress, enough to catch eyes but nothing too extra. She was probably the only color Small Heath had to offer.

Walking into the Garrison that morning she knew it was going to be a busy day, judging by the line of men waiting outside the doors. Some of which she recognized from being regulars.

“Good morning Grace!”

“Mornin’ Mr.Harris,” she gave him the nicest smile she could, knowing he brought in a majority of Harry’s funds.

She went into the back after bidding Harry a good day, and put away her coat and such. She checked herself in the mirror, making sure everything was perfect before going to the bar and getting ready for business.

****************Time Skip***************

Later in the afternoon it had surprisingly calmed down, Grace was just refilling a glass here and there, having small talk with Harry, but then her moment of peace was broken.

Everyone could hear the yelling from outside, no doubt the Shelby brothers had gotten into something. The yells were full of harsh words and they were steadily getting louder, meaning they were coming closer.

Most the people in the bar decided to leave now while they could, not ready to face the wrath of the angry brothers. It was very clear they were not having a good day.

While the shouts were getting increasingly louder and more men scurried out, Grace double checked herself in the mirror, undoing a button or two from the top of her dress.

The three brothers and even their Aunt Polly stormed in, they all had fire behind their eyes. Tommy was looking the most pissed between the four of them. Maybe now was her chance to comfort him.

She looked up at him through her lashes, “would you like some whiskey, Mr.Shelby?”

He gave her a brief glance before nodding his head, and walked back towards the private booth.

Grace frowned a little, maybe today wasn’t her day after all. Surely he would break soon though, right? After all he was Thomas Shelby, he was a very closed off man. Just a little bit longer and she was sure he would break.

The rest of the Shelbys/Grays decided to follow Tommy’s lead into the back, all nodding to Grace to let her know they would like whiskey as well. As they were all entering the private booth, John was the last one in. Before he shut the door he turned and looked at Grace with a knowing look on his face, “nice dress, really matches your eyes love,” and winked before shutting the door. Grace blushed profusely, why wouldn’t Tommy compliment her?

After grabbing the whiskeys and heading towards the booth Grace heard the door to the bar opening, but she didn’t bother to look, too preoccupied with trying to get Tommys attention. She made sure she bent down low enough at the table for anyone to see down her shirt. Naturally Tommy didn’t look, but she could feel Johns eyes on her and sighed.

She was a little shocked when she walked out the booth to see a beautiful woman talking to Harry, she had never seen you around before.

After hearing the door to the room shut, you kindly ended your conversation with Harry and turned around to walk in. Grace was astonished by your beautiful doe eyes, they made you look so pure and innocent. At that moment Grace became a little self conscious of her own eyes, yours were absolutely breathtaking.

Walking towards the door to see your husband and family, Grace quickly stopped you saying you were not allowed to go in there.

“I’m so sorry miss, but the room is occupied at the moment and is for family only.” She said it like she was proud, keeping a treasure like you away from Tommy was probably a good thing, she couldn’t have the attention taken from her.

You looked at Grace for a moment, thinking she was joking. But when you realized she wasn’t you let out a chuckle.

Grace turned a little red in the face, why were you laughing? She said nothing funny. “I’m sorry, but who are you? You can’t go in there so stop laughing and go sit somewhere else!” She increasingly became frustrated as you began to laugh harder.

Harry did not look pleased at all.

“Look-“

Harry finally had enough, scared to let it go too far because he knew how Tommy acted when someone disrespected his wife. “Grace, she is fine. Let her through.”

Grace looked at Harry stunned and unwillingly moved to the side to allow you in. You turned and gave a great full smile to Harry before making your way toward the door. Before you got there you made sure to “accidentally” hit Graces shoulder for a little dramatic affect. You chuckled one more time at her flabbergasted face and shut the door behind you.

Grace turned to ask Harry a question, but he was already dealing with another customer. She would just ask him later then.

**************20-ish minutes later*************

Around five minutes ago Aunt Polly and the brothers had left, leaving you and Tommy in the private booth. You could tell he had a rough day, you could see it in his eyes. Oh how you could get lost in his eyes. You could look in them for hours feeling like you were drowning in the sea, and you told him too. He always says you’re being dramatic but then tells you how much he loves your eyes. Claims they’re like beauty he’s never seen before.

“Tommy,” you said softly. You didn’t want to disturb him, he seemed lost in his own world. When he didn’t acknowledge the calling of his name you took it upon yourself to move closer towards him. You carelessly swung your legs over his lap so you were straddling him, banging your knee on the table in the process. You silently cursed yourself, feeling the bruise forming already.

Tommy had finally focused his attention on you, laughing at your clumsiness. He sat down his whiskey and rubbed his hands up your thighs affectionately, smiling as your eyes met.

“You okay love?” He struggled to keep in his chuckles at your pained look. “Gotta’ be more careful baby, can’t have you marking up your beautiful body.”

You stared at him with the look, the one that made his heart swoon, your captivating doe eyes boring into his ocean blues.

“Well to be fair, Thomas, I wouldn’t have bruised myself if you paid attention to me,” you stopped and reached up to grab his face, forcing him to look at you, “ what’s going on in that big head of yours, eh love?”

Tommy sighed, deciding to let the insult you threw at him pass. “Just a busy day love, that Solomons is a bloody pain in my arse.”

You chuckled at this, knowing of his rocky relationship with the crazy London man. You liked him though, he seemed to be the only one to truly challenge Tommy. He kept him on his toes and you enjoyed their childlike banter. No one would think either of them were notorious gangsters if they saw the way they acted together.

“Give Alfie a break honey, I’m sure he says the same about you,” you giggle to a very annoyed Tommy.

“At least I’m tolerable, he’s like a rooster who crows at the arse crack of dawn,” he smiled when he heard your loud bark of laughter. He couldn’t help but join in himself. After moments of laughing together at the despair of Alfie Solomons, Tommy looked at you with a loving look on his face. He loved when you laughed like that, completely getting lost in the moment.

You looked up at Tommy too and smiled at him, wrapping your arms tighter around his neck before leaning in to give him a kiss. Tommy squeezed both your thighs tight, smiling into the kiss himself like a lovesick teenager.

*******************************************************

Unbeknownst to you and Tommy, Grace had seen everything through a crack in the side window. She was going to hand Tommy a drink through it, but stopped when she heard your giggles. She had yet to ask Harry who you were.

When she saw you on Tommy’s lap she was shocked, must be a whore she thought. But then she saw the look in Tommy’s eyes, a look she had never seen them portray before.

Love

Thomas Shelby was in love with whoever that woman was. Was this why she couldn’t get through to him? Were you the one clouding his judgement this whole time?

Looking through the crack one more time Grace quickly looked away when seeing you kissing. She may have been spying on him but she wasn’t a creep. Seeing that her suspicions were confirmed, Grace became even more curious as to who you were. The doe eyed woman was the one dancing through his mind all day, not Grace.

But just who were you?

Just as Grace was turning around she saw Harry making his way over.

“Harry!” She called waving down his attention. Harry cocked a brow before making his way over to the barmaid.

“Who is that woman in there with Tommy? The one you told me to let through earlier?”

Harry looked at her momentarily shocked, had she not known ? Surely everyone in Small Heath knew about the beauty that tamed the beast.

“That, in there is y/n Shelby. Tommy’s wife.”

Grace looked at him with wide eyes. Wife? He was married?

“Oh, I didn’t know he was married. How long have they been together?”

“Since before the war Grace, she’s always been by his side for as long as I can remember. Just know they’re happily married and to never be rude to her, woman or not Tommy will have your head. Now be a dear and go serve the man in the back, he’s been waiting for minutes.” And with that Harry walked off.

Grace stood there for moments in shock. Why hadn’t she known he was married?

As she was walking away to serve the man in the corner, she looked through the crack one last time.

There sitting in the booth was Tommy, with you snuggled into his chest while he adoringly rubbed your back. When she grabbed a refill for the man she realized something.

She was jealous of the doe eyed woman

*******************************************************

a/n: hope y’all liked it, have a great day sugars!❤️

@shadowfoxey

#tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders #tommy shelby smut #john shelby #john shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #arthur shelby #polly gray x reader #polly gray #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby smut #peaky blinders smut

[fernweh-writes]

Hi dear, I was wondering if you could do headcanon about slashers having s/o, who is really insecure, that she is not pretty enough, doubts herself and is afraid that she is not worthy of them.. So basically some comforting fluff? 👉👈

Some of these are kinda nsfw. Mostly just Jesse and Asa’s though.

-Fern🌿

Michael Meyers

Michael was a person who didn’t understand social cues and had no clue how to deal with people and their emotions. But he’s also a stalker who is good at observing people and you’re the love of his life.

He notices the way you look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes so sad and also so filled with hate at the same time. Your eyes always focus on the same parts of you and it’s like he can almost hear the criticizing thoughts in your head.

Today as you stood in the mirror your hands squeezed your sides, wishing that your waist was small like all those models on TV and magazines. You wish you looked like the girls you noticed Michael always looking at, the kind of girls he always seemed to admire.

You were so busy glaring yourself down you hadn’t even noticed Michael walk up behind you until he was setting his hands on top of yours. His mask was still down over his face, so your eyes met the empty dark holes of it in the mirror. You had only ever seen him without it once before.

Spinning around in his arms, you turned to look up at him, “You’re being extra sneaky today, I didn’t even hear you unlock the door.” He didn’t look down at you, his head still tilted up, watching you in the mirror. The fact he didn’t acknowledge what you said made your heart drop.

That was until his hands left yours and crept up to his mask, slowly removing it. His blue eyes searched yours before tilting your chin up and placing a firm kiss to your lips. Without breaking the kiss he grabbed your hips and picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you over to the bed.

He planned on showing you just how much he appreciated you and your body.

Bo Sinclair

It was pretty common for Bo to make comments about your body. His sexual comments sometimes made you feel slightly better, like you were desirable. Other times it made you feel like a piece of meat, like all you were good for was a quick fuck.

Bo may be insensitive and he usually never thought twice about what he said, but he was also observant and good at picking up on people’s emotions. He noticed when his comments stopped making you laugh and shove his chest and you began to force a smile that looked more like a grimace. Still, he was Bo, and he figured that if it really mattered you would just tell him to shut his trap.

After some time though he figures it’s best to lay off the vulgar comments and switch on the southern charm. He can sweet talk anyone he wants but he especially loves the power he holds over you whenever he uses that charm against you. You’re so easy to fluster, you melt into him every time he compliments you.

He quickly decides that he enjoys praising you. After all, it seems to make you so needy for him. The fact you seek out his praise just fuels that big ego of his.

Comes up with plenty of pet names. His favorites are definitely darlin’ and pretty girl though. Calling you honey is one of his cheesier favorites. You can expect him to start saying “Honey, I’m home,” whenever he comes home in a good mood. If he doesn’t say it, it’s best to just hand him a beer and let him yell at whoever he decides to be upset with.

If you open up to him about your insecurities he really won’t say much. Bo has never been a big feelings person and he doesn’t know how to do a good job of comforting or relating to people. However, you’ll notice him being extra sweet and affectionate. Just don’t mention it or else he’ll feel the need to be an asshole. He’s gotta keep up hsi reputation after all.

Long story short, Bo isn’t all bad and he can be soft and sweet sometimes.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent saw you as his muse, his goddess, his reason for living and he made sure to always show you exactly how much you meant to him.

He knew your body better than you ever could. His hands had traced every curve, every dip, every perfect imperfection of you and he could always find something new about you to admire.

Vincent knew the parts of you that he hated, so he always made sure to pay extra attention to those parts of your body just to show you how much he admired everything about you. Everything you thought was the worst part of you would quickly become his favorite.

He’s no stranger to insecurity, he grew up in a small town where people loved to talk and gossip. Talk and gossip isn’t much fun when you’re the kid with only half of a face who wears a mask everywhere he goes because his parents didn’t like to look at him. He would rather die than to ever let you feel that way about yourself.

He still has a favorite part of you though and that’s your eyes. They tell him everything he ever needs to know about what you’re thinking or feeling. He’s seen your eyes show how much you hated your reflection to the amount of love for him that was bottled up within you. Your eyes always gave away what you were thinking, which allowed him to be able to swoop in any time you were troubled.

You quickly become one of his favorite things to draw. He no longe needs a reference for you anymore either, he has your whole body memorized. He couldn’t forget anything about you no matter how hard he tried. Even then, why would he ever want to forget something as beautiful and perfect as you.

Brahms Heelshire

He completely understands feeling insecure. After all he had to hide in the walls and cover his face after the fire. He watched his parents love a doll more than they could ever love him. So he makes sure to tell you how beautiful he thinks you are even if you aren’t a blonde. But he doesn’t understand why you feel like you don’t deserve him.

Brahmsy thinks you’re the best person ever, he wouldn’t have kept you as his nanny if he didn’t think that you were perfect. After all you take care of him and handle everything your strange life throws at you.

He’s seen every part of you while hiding in those walls and there isn’t a single part of you that he isn’t mesmerized by.

There really isn’t ever anyone for you to feel lesser than in the manor. After all, it is just you, Brahms, and Malcolm. However, if anyone ever came along and made you feel inferior or undeserving Brahms wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of them. He can’t have you feeling upset.

He’s touched starved and handsy so he uses each and every single chance you give him to explore your body. There’s nothing he wants more than to touch every part of you. He’s in awe of you and he wants to show you just how much he needs you.

He makes sure to express to you that if either of you weren’t worthy of the other it would be him. After all, he got extra lucky for you to have stumbled into his grasp and there’s no way in hell he’s letting you escape.

Thomas Hewitt

There’s not a moment where he isn’t showing you just how much he loves you. Once he becomes comfortable with you, Thomas is surprisingly affectionate. He is not against PDA and the family never mentions it. After all Luda Mae wants grand babies and Hoyt knows better than to anger Tommy. Besides, Luda Mae thinks that the two of you are absolutely adorable.

Thomas is well aware of how it feels to hate the reflection in the mirror and he hates that you could ever feel that way about yourself. He does his best to show you that he sees you in a completely different light than you see yourself in. To him, you’re the sweetest most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth.

The fact you think you don’t deserve him leaves him feeling flustered. He never expected anyone to love him the way that you do. For you to say you’re not good enough for him blows his mind. He’s a murderer and he doesn’t see how you could ever find him attractive. He. Can’t even speak to tell you how much he adores you but there’s times where he really wishes he could.

Whenever you’re having days where you feel more self critical than usual he puts off his chores to take care of you. Hoyt can bitch all that he wants, Thomas is always going to put you first. Will spend all day in bed with you running his hands over your body and placing gentle kisses against your skin.

Listens to anything you have to say. Although he can’t contribute much to the conversation, Tommy is still a very expressive person. You can see the criticizing look he gives you anytime you say something negative about yourself. He’s not above huffing and rolling his eyes either, grumbling anytime you say something that he doesn’t like.

Billy Loomis

It’s no secret that Billy had plenty of people throwing themselves at him. Sure, he never really paid much attention to them, but that doesn’t change the fact that so many people wanted your boyfriend. So, it was easy for you to begin to think about how easy it would be for Billy to find someone better than you.

As soon as you open up to Billy about these things he’s quick to shut those thoughts down. After all, Billy rarely ever let’s people get as close to him as you have. In fact, the only other person that comes close is Stu. Billy wouldn’t have opened up to you if he didn’t think that you were permanent and he makes sure that you know that.

Begins to shut down all your self critical comments as well. Before he just thought you were joking, and in a way you still were, but he knew that you thought there was some truth to your words. He’s basically going to force you to be kinder to yourself whether you like it or not.

Billy can be an ass sometimes, he likes to pick fights, and he can be insensitive, but never would he use something he knows your insecure about as leverage against you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did.

Lots of heavy petting and make out sessions whenever your having days where you feel more self loathing than usual. You may not like the person in the mirror but he sure as hell does. He’s gonna make sure you know just how much he loves you and how much he loves your body as well.

Stu Macher

Simply cannot allow you to think that you are anything but the hottest and coolest person on the planet.

Before, it was pretty common for Stu to flirt with the girls at his parties, sometime he could even get kinda handsy. However, as soon as he finds out that you’re doubting yourself, he cuts it out quick. No one could be better than you and he feels bad that he even allowed you to think he could ever be interested in anyone else but you.

He enjoyed showing off but once he finds out your insecure he begins to flaunt the fact you’re his. Points out how many people wish could be him whenever he’s showing you off. He believes that if you see how many people want you but can’t have you, you’ll start to feel more confident.

Stu has always been very affectionate, which includes being physically affectionate. Don’t think that he would ever shy away from PDA either. You point out someone staring at him, jealous of you? Great, he’ll make sure to make out with you right in front of them to prove he’s off the market. Won’t hesitate to feel you up in front of people either cause he’s definitely a perverted little shit.

Lots of cuddling and compliments from him. Also enjoys spoiling you to show you just how much he loves you. Shopping sprees to find clothes you feel confident in become very common.

Jesse Cromeans

For you to not feel good enough for him insinuates the idea he has bad taste, and Jesse does not have bad taste. He will go to any length to prove that to you as well.

His favorite pet name for you is princess because to him you might as well be royalty. He wants you to know that your a treasure to him. Expect to be spoiled with the finest clothes, expensive jewelry, you’ll be living lavishly once your Jesse’s. He sees himself as your protector and provider, prides himself in that fact, so obviously you deserve nothing but the best there is.

Jesse understands what it’s like to be insecure, especially after what Gem did to his face, so he’s quick to shut down any negative comments. He knows how to say all the right things as well so you can expect plenty of messages from him that make you absolutely melt. This man can charm anyone, but he mainly focuses that charm on you.

Likes to dress you up in expensive lingerie and tell you how pretty you are before absolutely wrecking you. Jesse will make sure to praise you the entire time.

Feeling insecure about what his employees think of you? He’ll make you sit on his lap during his meetings just to show you off. If you’re blushing like crazy it just makes him feel more justified in caressing your body while his employees can do nothing but stare at the pretty little thing in his lap. Although, if they stare for to long they’ll no longer be an employee or alive.

Would most definitely fuck you in front of a mirror just to show you what he sees. Look at how pretty you are when he’s absolutely wrecking you, how could he not be in awe of you.

Asa Emory

Do you really think that you would be the most prized part of his collection if you weren’t the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on. You’re his favorite pet, he keeps you in his home, in his bed, you don’t get to feel unworthy. Although, the fact you feel like you don’t deserve him would fuel his god complex.

If you’re having a hard time with your insecurities his rough touch will turn into gentle caressing. It’s a rare occasion so make sure to savor the moment.

He notices when you’re feeling upset. Asa knows that being away from you so much gives your mind more time to run rampant. So whenever he’s been away longer than normal he makes sure to indulge you a little bit, even if he is busy. Expect him to let you sit in his lap while he works on grading papers and assignments that he’s gotten behind on. Occasionally he’ll rub your back as you snuggle against his chest. He’s allowed to be soft sometimes to.

Admires everything about your body and he makes sure you know it. Gently caresses and kisses every part of you, especially the parts you’re insecure about.

Much like Jesse, mirror sex is 100% on the table. Asa would love nothing more than for you to see just how beautifully you fall apart because of his touch. He knows your body better than you do and never fails to get exactly the reaction he wants from you.

Domestic Asa Domestic Asa Domestic Asa. If you’re having an extra hard time with your insecurities he would definitely make you breakfast in bed. For just one day you’ll be allowed to call the shots. Or at least you’ll believe you’re the one calling the shots.

#slasher x reader #slasher x you #slashers #slasher hcs #michael myers x reader #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #brahms x reader #the boy x reader #leatherface x reader #thomas x reader #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #ghostface x reader #chromeskull x reader #jesse cromeans x reader #asa emory x reader #the collector x reader #tcm the beginning #scream #house of wax #thomas hewitt #michael myers #bo sinclair #the boy 2016 #the collected #the collection #the collector

[viastro]

all for love | xu minghao

ミ★ synopsis: when you cough up the petals, you’re left with two choices. undergo the surgery where you’ll lose the love you have for the person that caused the disease, or tragically die with your love unrequited. [ requested by @adoreateez ]

ミ★ genre: hanahaki!au, angst, some fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: vomiting/coughing of flowers

ミ★ word count: 9,478

ミ★ pairings: xu minghao x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys ! i’m so sorry this is so late omg, i know that you requested it like a month ago AAAA i hope you like it tho </333 i know it might not be as angsty as you may have wanted </333 think it could be better but i </333 hope it’s okay </333 i also don’t know how this oneshot ended up being so long im cryin real tears NAKJESGKDTB

ミ★ taglist: @sunlightwoo​ @coppertrashi​ @sweetsoonhan​ @brinnalaine​ @minluvly​ @wonunuu​ @suhfluffy​ @shuajeong​ @euphorencia​ @imjustuhhvibing​ @minghao-will-be-the-death-of-me​ @shuahaeee​ @jaeyuni​ @sunflowergyeomie​ @cheolliehugs​ @smileyjmvn @chanberriees @vi-nnx​ @kodzumo​ @dwcljh​ @thanky0uverykamsa​

“Minghao!” The black haired beauty turns at the call of his name, a warm smile forming on his face when he lays eyes on you standing at the doorway of the dance studio, convenience store bag in hand. He reaches his hand up and waves you over, giggling when you speed walk over to him while greeting the other dance team members.

“What are you doing here? I thought I was supposed to come get you after your shift ended.” Minghao asks, taking the bag you’re holding out to him and peeking inside. He lets out a breath when he sees his favorite snacks sitting in it, feeling an immense wave of gratitude hit him when he looks back up towards you.

“My manager sent me home early since it wasn’t busy, so I decided to buy some food for you! Some of it is for me though, since I’ll be sitting here waiting for hours—”

“Dance practice ends in 15 minutes.”

“Hours for your practice to finish.” You continue, and Minghao chuckles when you go the extra mile to wipe away a nonexistent drop of sweat from your forehead. He opens his mouth to tease you, only to stop when Jun, Soonyoung and Chan pull you into an unsuspecting group hug. A laugh escapes Minghao when he sees the look of horror on your face when you’re suddenly yanked from behind.

“MINGHAO! I’m being kidnapped by the three stooges!” 

“The fuck did they just call us?” 

Minghao rolls his eyes when the four of you begin to bicker, instead walking over to his phone to turn on the song they have to practice for the showcase in a couple months. Your eyes trail after him, slightly tuning out Soonyoung begging you to watch him during their practice so that he can hear your feedback. 

“Yn! You’re not even listening to me.” Soonyoung whines, resting his forehead onto your shoulder in defeat. Your head snaps back towards the blonde, smiling and patting the back of his neck to try and console him. “I’ll watch you, I’ll watch you. Don’t worry.” 

The self-proclaimed tiger friend of yours looks back up at you with a happy grin, and you chuckle at the sight. You reach up and pat his face with your hands, before motioning towards the dance floor where Jun and Chan are already preparing.

“Go and practice! You’re like a little hamster.” You say with a laugh, and he rolls his eyes at you. Minghao watches from the speakers, letting out a giggle when he sees the way Soonyoung’s smile immediately turns into a frown when you mention the cute animal.

“I’m a tiger, yn!”

“You’re a furry is what you are.” The three laugh at your retort, and Soonyoung bites back a chuckle in an attempt to still appear to be mad at you. He opens his mouth to respond, only for his eyes to widen in panic when a hand covers his face and pulls him backwards. 

“Practice ends soon. I’ll treat you after for the snacks, okay?” Minghao says to you, still holding back Soonyoung as the blonde struggles against his hold. You bite back your giggles at the ridiculous sight, instead nodding your head at your best friend. Taking a bite of the fish-shaped ice cream sandwich you bought for yourself, you motion towards the dance floor where the rest of the team is waiting. 

Minghao just sends you a pretty smile, practically dragging Soonyoung against his will towards the mirrors. You laugh softly at the sight, sitting down onto the floor as you watch them begin to practice.

You told Soonyoung that you’d watch him, but you find that your eyes keep trailing over to Minghao instead.

You quietly watch Minghao paint on the canvas from across the art studio, knowing that when he splatters paint it can get almost everywhere. 

You learned that the hard way. 

Rest in Peace, Nike AF1s.

The sunlight rests over his features, making his black hair appear brown. The honey-like color of his skin is glowing underneath the sun, and you find yourself thanking the weather for this sight that lies before you.

“Mm, you’re staring.” You blink when Minghao peeks at you with a smile, catching you in the act. You squint, turning away and laying onto your back on the couch. Pulling out your phone, you go to YouTube to watch a mukbang, effectively ignoring Minghao’s giggles as he looks at you. 

He shakes his head, hair falling over his eyes as he looks back towards the canvas and gently presses the paintbrush against it. 

You mindlessly scroll through Twitter for another thirty minutes when you suddenly feel a presence above you. You slowly lower your phone from your face, only to lock eyes with an amused looking Minghao hovering above you. Warmth floods your face immediately as you look at the rather compromising position the two of you are in. 

Minghao’s leaning over you, hand resting on the back of the couch. His long hair is falling over his face, and he has a small smile on his face as he stares down at you.

Unable to think of something to say, you slowly bring your phone back up to your face so that you don’t have to look at him any longer. Minghao laughs at your actions, leaning back so that he’s standing at his full height. 

“Come on, I’m done painting for today. We can go get food.” Your ears perk up at the mention of food, and you immediately stand up from the sofa. You give Minghao a bright smile, and a fond grin forms on his face at the sight. 

“Are you paying this time?” You ask teasingly as you and Minghao start walking out of the room, and the black haired beauty purses his lips, before nodding his head. “Since you waited for me to finish painting, I’ll pay this time.” 

You punch the air out of excitement, and Minghao rolls his eyes as he watches you. He reaches out and wraps his arm around you, stopping you mid-punch. He pats your head, and you turn to look at him. 

You feel your heart stutter within your chest as the two of you stare at each other in silence for a moment. His brown eyes hold so much depth to them, so much warmth whenever he looks at you. To anyone else, they may mistake it for romantic love.

But you know better.

You giggle and wrap your arm around Minghao, “Where are you taking me for lunch? Teriyaki?” 

“I was thinking of convenience store ramen?” 

“You’re so cheap.” 

“We’re two broke university students. Convenience store ramen is luxury, yn.” 

The two of you burst into laughter at Minghao’s response, even though you both know it’s true. You tease each other the rest of the way to the teriyaki place, since Minghao decided to splurge just a little for you. 

As you watch Minghao order your guys’ food, you rest your hand over your heart, feeling it beat a bit harder against your chest when he turns to give you a grin. 

Letting out a sigh, you scroll through the pdf opened up on your laptop and write some more notes on the material. Minghao looks up from his own laptop at the sound of your frustration, and he purses his lips when he sees the furrow in between your eyebrows. 

Without a word, he leans across the table, reaching out and trying to soothe away the crease to your brows. Startled at the sudden contact, you slowly look up at him, seeing the look of accomplishment on his face as he sits back down in his chair once you’re no longer frowning. 

“Minghao?” 

“Let’s just study for a bit longer and then we can go to the night market.” Minghao says with a warm smile, and you bite the inside of your cheek, nodding your head in agreement as you lean back into your chair. You begin scrolling through your pdf again, attempting to take more notes in hopes that the two of you will go to the night market soon. 

However, as the minutes pass, you find that your eyes keep trailing over to Minghao as you aimlessly scroll through your laptop. The yellow light from the lamp beside him illuminates his features beautifully, and you quietly wonder to yourself how Minghao is capable of being so pretty. 

“Okay, I’m done.” Minghao announces once he turns in his assignment. You blink your eyes before turning to your laptop and seeing your own unfinished notes. The black haired beauty raises an eyebrow at the expression on your face, knowing all too well that you haven’t finished your notes. 

“I can finish it later?” You say, voice raising at the end that it ends up sounding like you’re not too sure of that statement. Minghao grins, reaching out and patting your head fondly, making warmth blossom across your face. 

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“No. Finish your homework.” Minghao tells you, his grin now replaced with a straight face as he leans back into his chair. You let out a quiet groan, realizing that you forgot who you were studying with.

Your best friend, Xu Minghao, top of the Dean’s list.

“Why do you hate me?” You ask, trying your best to appeal with puppy dog eyes. Minghao simply rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone, chuckling when he hears you sigh in defeat. Grumbling to yourself, you’re able to finish your notes in about 15 minutes because of your newfound anger motivating you. 

You shut your laptop, causing the black haired beauty to look up at you from his phone. He tilts his head at you when you flash him a bright smile.

“Done?” 

“Done.” 

Minghao grins, standing up from the table and putting his stuff away into his bag with you following suit. You’re about to pick up your bag when Minghao walks over to your side of the table, taking your bag and slinging it over his shoulder with his own. You raise an eyebrow, “What a gentleman. Are you gonna pay for all the food I’ll get at the food stands too?” 

Minghao scoffs, nudging your shoulder as he steps away from the table, making you giggle. You follow after him, the two of you walking side by side out of the library. You both converse as you walk on the sidewalk, the warm night air enveloping you as you do so. 

You take a glance at your bag, watching as Minghao adjusts the strap over his shoulder as he hums quietly. Pursing your lips, you gently nudge his shoulder to get his attention, and he turns his head towards you. 

“Mm?” 

“I can carry my bag, you know.” You say with a grin, and Minghao just nods his head in agreement. You feel your heart stutter within your chest when he gives you that smile of his, the one that’s always so full of warmth whenever he looks at you. 

“I know.” 

“Then why—”

“Because I wanted to.” Minghao answers, tilting his head to see if you’ll ask more questions. You simply bite the inside of your cheek, nodding as you turn away to look towards the sidewalk again. You listen as Minghao begins to talk about what food he’s excited to try when the two of you arrive, and you do your best to respond.

But the tingle in your throat captures your attention for the rest of the night.

“Soonyoung!” You exclaim with a smile as you watch him trip over his own feet onto the grass, Chan toppling over him as he explodes with laughter. 

“Chan, my allergies!” 

“I have benadryl, it’ll be okay.”

“No it won’t!” 

You smile fondly as you watch Jun walk over to the two on the grass, reaching out with his hand to help them up. Suddenly you’re reminded that you came with four guys, and your eyes trail across the park until you find Minghao snapping photos of the pretty peonies. 

You watch as the warm sun rests over his features, making his black hair appear brown in the light. He pulls back from the peonies, looking through the photos he captured on his camera for a moment. After a moment, he turns his head towards you, and a fond smile immediately takes over his features. 

“You’re staring again.” Minghao calls out to you, and you roll your eyes in response. He lets out a laugh before Jun barrels over and wraps his arm around him, capturing the pretty man’s attention. You sigh, laying down onto your back on the picnic blanket as you stare up at the tree above you.

The five of you decided to have a picnic at the park today as you all finally finished the last of your finals. You and Jun cooked, while Soonyoung, Chan and Minghao prepared the stuff to bring. Once you all got to the park, you each ate your food and conversed under the warm rays of the summer sun. It was rather nice actually, having taken polaroids of each other as well to commemorate such a precious day. 

Your thoughts come to a stop when Minghao pops his head up from above you, warmth in his eyes as he stares down at you. 

“Having fun?” Minghao asks you in his soft voice, and you nod your head, giggling when you hear the loud laughter coming from the three stooges. “Of course.”

Minghao squats down and extends his hand out towards you, to which you take a hold of it, letting him help you sit up from the blanket. You raise an eyebrow when you see his arm behind his back, looking back at him with a questioning expression on your face. 

Minghao lets out a fond smile at the scrunch to your nose, before reaching out with the hand he was hiding, revealing the pretty peony. “Here.”

You stare down at the pink flower, looking at the delicate petals that are so soft to the touch. Slowly, you glance back up towards Minghao, who’s carefully watching your reaction. 

“Minghao?” 

The latter chuckles, gently waving his hand that’s holding the flower, signaling for you to take it. You reach out and take it from his grasp, looking down at the peony once again. Minghao smiles, before saying in a soft voice,

“A pretty flower for my flower.” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, your gaze slowly trails up towards Minghao, finding yourself searching his eyes for an answer to a question that you’re not even sure of. Silence settles over the two of you as you just stare into each other's eyes for a moment, trying to make each other out.

“Minghao! Yn! Let’s play badminton!” The two of you snap your heads towards Jun’s voice, seeing them grabbing the badminton rackets. Minghao raises up his arm towards the three, “Coming!” 

You watch as Minghao stands up from his squatting position, dusting off the back of his jeans before reaching out towards you with his hand. You grasp his hand, letting him pull you up from the blanket. 

“You can leave the peony here so that it doesn’t get ruined during the game.” Minghao tells you softly, and you nod your head. He grins, patting your head before heading over towards Soonyoung and Jun, who seem to be bickering over what racket they want. 

While you stare down at the peony for a moment longer, silently wondering why this small gift means so much to you. You gently place the flower down onto the picnic blanket and look over towards the four, watching as Minghao lets out a laugh at something Soonyoung said. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you walk over to your friends to play badminton. 

You type away on your laptop, preparing to send the email of your resume to apply as an assistant stylist at W Magazine. It’s always been a dream of yours to make it into the big leagues as a fashion stylist, but you have to start down at the lower ranks before you can achieve that.

If you get this position, then it’ll only be a confirmation that you’ll be able to accomplish your goal. 

The sound of your ringtone grabs your attention, and you take a deep breath, before submitting your application. You turn to reach for your phone resting beside you, lifting up the small piece of metal to your ear you answer, 

“Hello?”

“Yn?” You raise an eyebrow at Jun’s worried tone, sitting up on your couch. Looking over at the time, you see that it’s already 10 at night, but you know that the four are at the studio based on the loud music you hear in the background.

“Jun? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Minghao, he’s pushing himself too much again cause the showcase is in a couple weeks. He refuses to leave until he perfects the choreo.” Jun mutters, and you let out a breath, already closing your laptop and standing up from your sofa. You grab your jacket and quickly put it on before slipping into your sneakers. 

“I’ll be there soon.” You say as you walk out of your apartment, hearing Jun tell you thank you in at least four languages before hanging up the call. 

You arrive at the dance studio within 15 minutes since your apartment is right by campus, and you’re greeted by the sound of the bass booming from within the room. You’re about to open the door, only to stop when Jun steps out with a worried look on his face. He looks up at you, and lets out a tired smile. 

“Go home, Junnie. I’ll take care of him.” You tell him, and he nods his head. He pulls you into a quick hug, before walking out of the building, exhaustion evident due to the slump of his shoulders. 

You gently open the door, and your heart breaks when you see Minghao sitting on the floor, face resting in his hands as the music blares from around him. Biting the inside of your cheek, you quietly close the door, before shuffling over to the speakers and pausing the music on his phone. 

“Jun, I already told you that I’m not leaving until I finish this.” Minghao says tiredly, looking up from his hands in your direction, only to stop when he lays eyes on you standing there.

You’re just in a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, your unzipped sweatshirt hanging off your shoulders. The concern is evident over your features as you stare at him from where you are, and his eyes trail down to your fiddling hands, a sign that you’re nervous. 

“Did Jun call you?” Minghao asks as he looks away from you, staring down at his knees. You nod your head, clearing the itch in your throat, “Yeah. He did.” 

Silence falls over the two of you, with Minghao holding back the tears that threaten to escape his eyes from the pent up frustration, and you knowing that they’re about to fall. You watch as the black haired beauty lowers his head, before covering his face up with his hands, shoulders beginning to shake as he cries. 

You pad your way over, sitting down beside him and extending your legs out. Gently, you grasp his shoulder and slowly maneuver him so that his head is resting on your lap, quiet sobs wracking his body as he lets you hold him. 

“It’s okay, Minghao.” You mutter softly, stroking his hair as a means to comfort him. He shakes his head at you, and you let out a small smile. 

“You did well.” 

That simple sentence sends Minghao into another wave of tears, but you just hold him quietly as you pat his head. A few minutes pass until he’s finally calmed down, and he slowly lowers his hands away from his face, now taking deep breaths to get his breathing back to normal. 

Your hand trails down to his cheek as you wipe away the remaining tears. Minghao just lets you as he stares up at the ceiling in silence, millions of thoughts and worries running through his brain. 

You know better than to ask him about what he’s thinking, though. Over the last couple years of knowing the black haired beauty, you’ve learned that Minghao will tell you what’s going on at his own pace and that he’ll only shy away the more you pester him.

So instead you say, “Come on, let’s go back to my apartment.” 

Minghao stares up at the ceiling for a moment longer, before nodding his head in agreement and sitting up from your lap. The two of you stand up off the floor, and you shuffle over to his dance bag and shove everything he brought into it. Minghao just watches you as you do so, eyes trailing after you as you walk over to the speaker and disconnect his phone, placing it into the bag as well. 

“Let’s go, Minghao.” You say as you walk over to the door, and he follows after you, exhaustion now wearing down on his body from how hard he pushed himself tonight. The two of you step out of the studio, and you let out a sigh at the warm night air. 

You both walk in a comfortable silence the rest of your way to your apartment, only having a brief exchange when you grab his spare clothes from his bag and hand it to him as he walks to your bathroom to take a shower. 

It’s like a routine for the two of you now, as this isn’t the first time this has happened. Minghao’s a perfectionist, so when something’s not right, he will push himself until he can correct it. Each of the guys learned that the hard way, as they would sometimes be victims to Minghao’s critiques. However, Minghao’s the hardest on himself. 

It’s always Minghao taking care of you in your guys’ friendship. He’s the more mature one, more level headed, more responsible — but you’re the only one who can calm him down when he gets into this headspace.

You clear your throat in a failed attempt of getting rid of the tingle that’s been bothering you for the last couple of months. Walking into your kitchen, you fill up a glass of water and down it all in one go, but to no avail. 

“I wonder if it’s cause I snore in my sleep?” You ask yourself, only to glance up when you hear your bathroom door open, a fresh Minghao stepping out of it. His hair is damp as he trudges over to your couch and lays down onto it.

“You want any dinner? I can order takeout.” You offer as you walk over to him, and he shakes his head, simply pulling the blanket over his body. Nodding your head, you let out a yawn, “I’m tired, so I’m going to head to bed. There’s leftovers in the fridge if you get hungry.” 

Minghao doesn’t respond, and you take that as a sign to turn and walk into your bedroom, only to stop when you feel the warmth of his hand grasping yours. You look back towards the pretty man, just to see him lying there with his eyes closed. 

“Minghao?” 

“Thank you, yn. I love you.” 

You hate the way your heart soars within your chest at those three words when you know fully well that Minghao means it in a platonic way. 

You’re his best friend that he loves and cares about.

And he’s your best friend that you love.

“I love you too, Minghao. Now go to sleep, mm?” You say softly, giving his hand a squeeze. He lets out a sleepy smile, before releasing his gentle grip on your hand. 

You hate the fact that your hand feels cold without him holding it.

You stare at him for a moment longer, before walking into your bedroom and closing the door behind you. You climb into your bed, feeling the tingle in your throat turn into a full blown itch as you attempt to clear it. Reaching over to your water bottle, you take a long sip before placing it back down onto the table and laying on your back, convincing yourself that it’s nothing.

It’s only a few hours later when you’re awakened by the urge to vomit and practically sprint to the bathroom, locking the door behind you. Leaning over the toilet, you sob quietly as you vomit the familiar pink petals of the flower Minghao gave you at the dead of night. 

You stare down at your blanket, fiddling with the thread as millions of thoughts run through your brain. Your eyes trail over to your phone, watching as it lights up with a new text from Jun. 

jun: yn i'm gonna break into your apartment if you don’t answer

You let out a scoff, coughing slightly as you turn off your phone. You adjust your position until you’re laying on your side and close your eyes in an attempt to get some sleep. 

It’s been a week since you coughed up the flowers and realized your tragic fate. 

You love Minghao.

Minghao doesn’t love you.

The morning after Minghao stayed the night, he made you breakfast before leaving while you were asleep, writing a note to let you know that he had to go to his part time job and that he’ll be busy for the upcoming week leading to the showcase.

The two of you haven’t seen each other since then, and you suppose it’s for the best. Every time you text him, let alone think of him, the itchy feeling of the petals climbing up your throat appears. 

Your thoughts are cut short when you hear your apartment door open, and you let out a groan when Jun suddenly appears in your bedroom doorway, holding the spare key you gave Minghao in his hand. The brunette frowns at your reaction to his appearance, “You’ve been avoiding Minghao.” 

“No. We’ve both been busy—”

“Even when Minghao’s busy with the team, and even when you’re busy with work, you still make the time to visit him at the studio. What’s wrong, yn?” You bite your bottom lip, turning over so that your back is facing Jun. He lets out a sigh, walking over to your side so that he can sit down on the bed, only to pause when he sees your garbage full of the beautiful petals. 

You hear Jun’s breath hitch, and you squeeze your eyes shut, realizing what he must’ve seen. You feel Jun’s hand rest on your shoulder, and suddenly you’re being moved onto your back, staring up into his frantic eyes as he searches your face. 

“No.” Jun mutters, voice quivering when you give him a pained smile. The two of you stare at each other for a moment longer, and he watches as a tear escapes your left eye.

“Is it…” Jun trails off when you nod your head, reaching your hands up and wiping away the wetness on your cheeks. You give him a tight smile, “It’s Mingh—” 

Jun’s eyes widen when you suddenly gag, watching as you get up from your bed and run straight to your bathroom. The brunette quickly follows after you, and he feels his heart break within his chest when he sees the pink petals fall from your mouth into the toilet, tears escaping your eyes as they do so. 

He kneels down beside you, patting your back until you finally throw up all the petals. You let out a groan, sitting back against the bathtub as Jun wipes away the bile around your mouth with a wet towel. 

“Please don’t tell him.” You mumble when Jun pushes away the baby hairs around your face. His eyes flit up to yours, and his lips form into a thin line, before he starts patting your forehead with the cool towel. 

“Junhui please—”

“I won’t tell Minghao.” Jun states, and you let out a breath of relief. A heavy silence settles upon the two of you afterwards, the looming thought that there’s only two cures to this disease hovering over you both. 

“You know what you have to do, right yn?” 

You don’t respond to his question, choosing to instead stare down at your fiddling hands. Jun turns to look at you, a serious look on his face as he nudges your shoulder for you to answer. Biting the inside of your cheek, you finally glance back at him, finding him to be blurry as tears flood your eyes. 

“Don’t give up your life for him, yn.” Jun tells you softly, and you shake your head at him. You hear him let out an exasperated sigh, but you just shake your head even more. 

“You know what will happen if I get the surgery, Jun. I won’t ever be able to love him, not even as my best friend. I can even end up hating him.” You say, and the brunette nods. He looks up towards your ceiling, knowing very well of the consequences that come with choosing your life over Minghao. 

“Hao may be my best friend, but I’m not going to let you give up your life for the sake of him.” You just stare at Jun as the tears fall past your eyes again, and he gives you a sad smile. He reaches out and pats your head fondly, before standing up from your bathroom floor. 

“I need to go to practice, but please. Live for yourself, yn.” And with that, Jun walks out of your bathroom. The sound of your apartment door closing resonates through your small apartment, and it’s the only thing that gets you to stand up from the tiled floor. 

You walk back to your bedroom, seeing your phone lit up on your dresser. Picking up the cool metal, you tap the email notification, only for your eyes to widen when you realize—

It’s W Magazine. 

They want to schedule an interview with you.

Your phone falls from your shaky hands and lands on the bed as you turn to stare at your reflection in the mirror, heart beating rapidly against your chest. 

The exhaustion is evident on your features, from your prominent bags, to the sag of your shoulders. However, there’s a glint of excitement in your eyes from the fact that you’re a step closer to your dream. 

Your gaze slowly trails over to your garbage can behind you, the bloody flowers laying in the bin staring back at you. 

“Live for yourself, yn.” 

You reach out for your phone and go to your contacts, scrolling all the way to the bottom before placing it up to your ear. You let out a shaky breath when you hear the person on the other end pick up the phone, before looking back towards yourself in the mirror.

“Hello, I’d like to schedule an appointment.”

“Everything looks good for the showcase tomorrow.” Jun says from beside Minghao, watching as Soonyoung and Chan perform their duet on the stage. The black haired beauty nods his head, glancing down at his phone to see if you responded to his message. 

A grin takes over his features when he sees your notification and unlocks his phone, chuckling when he sees the string of curses you sent for missing the pocket in the 8ball game the two of you were playing. Jun carefully watches Minghao’s expressions as he texts you, very aware of the fond smile on his best friend’s face. 

Jun looks away, attempting to focus on Soonyoung and Chan’s rehearsal instead of wondering how Minghao doesn’t love you back. It’s ridiculous to him when he thinks of how much Minghao truly cares for you, or the warm look in his eyes whenever he stares at you. 

Jun just doesn’t understand how Minghao couldn’t have fallen in love with you.

“Are you gonna see yn before the showcase? This is the longest the two of you haven’t seen each other.” Jun asks, and he watches as Minghao purses his lips in thought. The black haired beauty shakes his head after a moment, giving Jun a grin as he says, “I’ll see yn tomorrow at the showcase. I’ll still be pretty busy for a few more hours after this just to double check that everything is good to go anyways.” 

Jun nods his head slowly, looking back towards the stage when the music ends, signaling that Soonyoung and Chan’s duet is over. The two wave their hands over at Jun and Minghao, calling them to come up so they can rehearse their choreography. 

Minghao nudges Jun’s shoulder, “Let’s go practice.” 

Jun watches as your best friend walks over to the stage, laughing brightly at something Soonyoung said. The brunette bites his bottom lip, opening up his phone to read your last message to him. 

yn: i’m getting the surgery tomorrow

please take care of minghao for me

He lets out a breath and slips his phone back into his pocket, before looking up when he hears the call of his name. He locks eyes with Minghao, who’s smiling happily and waving him over along with Chan and Soonyoung. 

“Come on!” 

Jun sends them a tight smile, before heading over to the stage, heart heavy with the knowledge that Minghao’s happiness will soon dwindle.

You lay on your bed, the itch in your throat feeling more annoying today than it has the previous days.  The glow in the dark stars on your ceiling capture your attention, and you feel your eyes watering at the sight of them.

You used to find comfort in the small stars, the memory of you and Minghao sticking them onto the ceiling when you first moved in being one that brought you content. Now all you feel is heartbreak from the knowledge that you’ll no longer feel warm at the thought of him. 

You’re startled by the sound of your phone vibrating beside you, and you lift up the device, seeing that Minghao’s calling you. Biting your bottom lip, you wonder if it would be a good idea to answer. 

You vomit and cough up flowers when you think of Minghao, how much worse can it be when you actually hear his voice? 

But this is the last time you’ll be able to hear his voice and feel like you’re home.

And so, you answer the call. Placing your phone to your ear you say, “Minghao?” 

“Yn.”

“Why are you calling me at 2 in the morning?” You ask with a small smile on your face, ignoring the feeling of petals beginning to crawl up your lungs. Minghao rolls his eyes, rolling over onto his back in his own bed. “Do I need an excuse to call my best friend?” 

“No, but it’s 2 in the morning so I feel like I should ask.” You say with a giggle, and Minghao smiles at the sound. He lets out a sigh, looking out towards his window and seeing the stars shining brightly in the sky. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and that I’m excited to see you tomorrow.” Minghao tells you in a softer voice, and you feel your heart stutter within your chest. Your eyes begin to water as you roll over in bed, now laying on your side. 

“I miss you too.” You mumble, and the black haired beauty grins at that. You hear him let out a yawn on the other end, “I need to sleep since I’m waking up early tomorrow.” 

You nod your head even though he can’t see it, muttering how he should definitely be asleep right now. Blinking your eyes, you feel a tear escape and slide down your face until it lands on your pillow. 

“Night night, Minghao.” You say, and Minghao smiles softly. 

“Sweet dreams, yn.” 

As soon as you end the call, the petals come rushing up, and you sprint to your bathroom, a painful reminder that Minghao doesn’t love you. 

And by tomorrow night, you won’t love him either.

Jun watches from across the room as Minghao does his eye makeup for the showcase, the sound of the audience talking in excitement being heard from upstairs. He glances down at his phone, opening up his conversation with you to send you a text.

jun: does minghao know? 

Your phone vibrates beside you on the bed as you wait for your surgeon to enter the room. You reach out and grab it, raising it up to your face and seeing Jun’s message. Letting out a breath, you quickly type your response and press send, placing the device back onto the bed. 

you: no

Jun just stares at your answer, and he closes his eyes tightly, already awaiting the impending doom that’s about to fall upon you and Minghao. His eyes snap open when he feels a hand rest on his shoulder, and he looks up to see the black haired beauty staring down at him with a grin.

“You nervous?” Minghao asks, and Jun shrugs his shoulders as he leans back into the chair. He turns off his phone, placing it down onto the table as he purses his lips. 

He’s nervous, but not for the showcase. 

“A bit, just the usual pre-show jitters, ya know?” Minghao nods his head in agreement, understanding exactly what Jun means. He lets out a sigh, before looking over towards the door when the sound of a knock resonates through the room. Soonyoung and Chan’s heads pop through the opening, big smiles on their faces, signaling that it’s time for them to go on.

“It’s time already?” Minghao asks with a grin, walking over to the door with Jun by his side. Soonyoung nods, clapping his hands excitedly as he’s always been one to not be very nervous before their showcases. “Yup. It’s a few more minutes until the opening performance.” 

The four walk towards the main stage, listening to Soonyoung and Chan ramble about how much they’ve missed the feeling of performing. However, Jun’s mind is elsewhere as they enter the stage, unable to respond to his other teammates as he worries for what’s to come. 

“Are you excited to see your biggest fan?” Chan teasingly asks Minghao as they get into position, and the black haired beauty smiles warmly at the thought of you. He nods his head, looking at the curtain as if he can see right through it. “Always.” 

Jun looks down at the floor at the fondness dripping from Minghao’s voice as he steps over and goes into position, avoiding eye contact with any of the three guys as he does so. The voice of the MC is heard from beyond the curtain as they say the welcome speech, and Soonyoung looks over at Minghao with a grin.

“Are you ready, Minghao?” 

You slowly lower the phone from your ear, ending the call right as your surgeon walks into your hospital room. You look up towards him and see the pitiful smile on his face, a tragic reminder of what you’re here for.

“Are you ready, yn?” 

Minghao smiles at the blonde, before looking back towards the front as the curtains open. 

You let out a shaky breath, glancing down towards your fiddling hands as you nod your head. 

The both of you mutter, “Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

“You guys did great!” 

“Good job as always, Minghao!” 

The black haired beauty smiles and nods his head at those who came to watch them perform, thanking them for coming. However, his eyes continue to sweep through the crowd, trying to find your warmth filled eyes. 

You always sit in the front row so that Minghao will see you when he performs, and you’re always the first one to run and hug him whenever the showcase ends, giving him a large bouquet of flowers.

But you weren’t in the front row, and you weren’t the first one to congratulate him today.

Minghao excuses himself from the conversation as he walks over to Soonyoung and Jun, a frown etched across his features as he wonders where you could possibly be. Jun looks over right as Minghao steps over to them, and he feels his heart sink at the lost expression on the latter’s face.

“Have you guys seen yn?” Minghao asks, and the two shake their heads, no. The black haired beauty bites his bottom lip, turning to look over at the crowd again to see if you just got caught up talking to someone. Soonyoung purses his lips, “Why don’t you call them?”

Minghao lets out a breath, realizing that was the first thing he should’ve done in the first place. He quickly thanks Soonyoung and walks backstage to grab his phone. As he heads towards the dressing room, he can only wonder whether you possibly got stuck in traffic or if something came up.

He pushes open the door and walks over to his bag, pulling out his phone and unlocking it to see that you left a voicemail. Raising an eyebrow, Minghao presses play and puts the cool metal to his ear.

“Hi, Minghao.” You say softly, willing for your voice not to shake as you look out the window of your hospital room. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your showcase, but I know that you did great. You always do.” 

Minghao frowns, looking over towards the doorway when he hears the door open, only to find Jun standing there. 

“You… you always filled me with so much warmth.” You begin, feeling tears slowly flood your eyes as you cast your eyes downward towards your blanket. “I’m so thankful to have had you in my life for so long, and I’m so sorry for not telling you.” 

Minghao’s frown deepens at your words, wondering what you’ve been keeping a secret. 

You let out a shaky breath, tears falling from your eyes as you look up towards the ceiling. “I’m in love with you, Minghao.”

Minghao’s heart drops into his stomach at your words, suddenly realizing what’s happening. He turns towards Jun, seeing the remorseful expression on his face as he watches him.

“I don’t know when these feelings began but I always knew that I cared for you so much more than I should’ve.” You clutch the thin hospital blanket in your hand, biting your bottom lip harshly to try and speak clearly for Minghao to hear every word you’re saying. “I was originally going to let the disease run its course because I never want to forget the feeling of loving you and the warmth you brought me.” 

You raise your hand up and wipe away the tears falling from your eyes, “But I decided to get the surgery, so that’s why I couldn’t make it to your showcase today.” 

Minghao’s eyes widen, and he quickly grabs his bag, throwing everything inside. Jun walks over, resting a hand on Minghao’s shoulder to try and talk to him, only for the latter to shrug his hand off as he listens to your words.

“I’ll always be grateful that you were my first love.” 

Minghao throws the bag over his shoulder and runs out of the dressing room, tears falling from his eyes as he ignores Jun’s shouts from behind him.

“I’m so sorry that I’ll no longer be able to give you that love, and I know that I’ll always regret losing you, but I have to do this.” 

Minghao sprints down the hallway, shoving open the door and being hit with a wave of the warm summer air. He frantically looks around, breathing heavily as he starts running in the direction of the hospital, hearing your last words to him through his phone.

“I want to live, Minghao.”

“You just need to stay here overnight to make sure there were no complications in your surgery, but everything went smoothly.” Dr. Jung tells you, and you nod your head as the nurse helps you sit up on the bed. The sound of your beating heart is heard in your ears, and you raise your hand up, resting it on your chest as you feel it beat against your hand. 

You’re alive.

The sound of running feet is heard down the hallway, and you pause when you hear it come to a stop. Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you look over towards the door, only to lock eyes with the familiar pair that always held warmth in them when they saw you. 

You see none of the warmth as he stares at you, instead finding an indecipherable emotion to them. His eyes searching yours to find the answer to the question he doesn’t dare to ask. 

You have no doubt that yours once held a familiar weight to them as his do right now. 

“Yn—” 

You turn away from him, effectively answering the question he was about to ask. Minghao’s heart falls in his chest when you give your surgeon a tight smile as the man exits the room along with the nurse, giving the black haired beauty a pitiful look. 

“Yn.” Minghao says as he walks over to your hospital bed, standing before you as you look out the window. “Yn, please.”

“It’s not your fault.” You mutter quietly, and he pauses. You slowly turn your head to look up at him, giving him a small smile that holds no affection, no love. “Don’t blame yourself for what I had to do.”

“Why,” Minghao looks down at the floor, trying to bring his breathing back to normal as he musters up the courage to continue. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

You stare at the man you once loved. His black hair is styled to reveal his forehead, eyeliner adorning his eyes along with dark eyeshadow. Before, your heart would’ve been racing as you stared at the pretty man in front of you. However, you feel none of the warmth that you used to as he looks back up towards you. 

You give him a close-lipped smile, “Because I loved you, Minghao.” 

He bites his bottom lip, looking down at his feet in defeat as the tears begin to fall from his eyes. Raising his hands up to his face, he wonders if this is all just a nightmare. That you never got hanahaki, that you never got the surgery…

That you still love him. 

“Minghao! Yn!” The two of you turn towards the door, finding Jun, Soonyoung, and Chan standing there, chests rising and falling as they try to catch their breath. You let out a fond smile when you see your friends, but they just stare between you and Minghao with conflicting expressions on their faces. 

“Yn, are you okay?” Soonyoung asks, walking up to your bedside along with Chan while Jun just stares at Minghao, feeling guilty at the heartbroken expression that adorns Minghao’s features. 

You nod your head at the blonde, “I’m feeling okay, don’t worry. Sorry I couldn’t make it today.” 

Soonyoung just gives you a tight smile, reaching out and patting your hand as he turns back to look towards Minghao. The black haired beauty just stands there, staring at the floor with pain stricken eyes and slumped shoulders. 

“I think we should take Minghao back to his apartment.” Chan says, and you nod your head in understanding. Your eyes trail over towards the pretty man, and Jun sees no emotion in your gaze as you stare at Minghao. You look up towards Jun, catching his eye as you send him a small smile. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

“We’ll come visit with food later.” Soonyoung tells you, and you grin. You raise your hand up and wave towards the four, and the three of them return the gesture. Minghao just turns to look at you for a moment, heartbreak evident in his eyes as his eyes look over your features, as if to remember. 

Minghao clenches his fist at his side, before turning and walking out of the room without another word. Jun quickly follows after him in panic after waving at you one more time, and you just let out a breath as Soonyoung and Chan go after them.

“Minghao!” Jun calls out, following Minghao all the way out the hospital. The brunette rests a hand over his chest, trying to even out his breathing as he speeds up to reach out towards his heartbroken best friend.

“MINGHAO!” Jun yells, finally grabbing the latter’s arm, causing the two of them to stop and catch their breaths on the sidewalk. Minghao raises his hands up to his hair, gripping on the strands as multiple emotions flood through him. 

“Why are you so devastated? They’re alive, Minghao. Isn’t that what matters?” Jun asks, looking at Minghao with a furrow to his brow as the black haired beauty looks around with frantic eyes. Jun grabs Minghao’s other arm and shakes the man, “Minghao!” 

“I don’t know!” Minghao exclaims as he finally faces Jun, tears running down his face as he stares at him. He bites his bottom lip, swallowing the lump in his throat as numerous questions flow through his mind. 

Minghao’s always been the more composed between the two of them, with everyone agreeing that he’s quite mature. However, as Jun stares at his friend before him, he no longer sees the collected Minghao that he’s grown to know over the years. 

“I don’t know what I’m feeling! I-I can’t begin to explain how much it hurts.” Minghao says, resting a hand over his heart as he feels a sob bubble up in his chest. Jun kneels down in worry as Minghao doubles over, sobs wracking his body as he raises his hands to cover his face.

“Minghao, let’s take you back to your apartment. We can talk there.” Jun tells him, and Minghao doesn’t respond, continuing to sob into his hands.

“Minghao, please—Minghao?!” Jun’s eyes widen with worry when Minghao abruptly pulls away, nausea apparent on his features as he steps back into the wall of the building. The black haired beauty turns around into the alley and doubles over as he vomits. 

Jun takes a step forward to pat Minghao’s back as a means to comfort him, only for his mouth to drop open in horror at the sight that lays before him. 

Pink peony petals are scattered across the pavement, blood splattered onto them as they begin to fly down the alley with the wind. 

Minghao breathes heavily at all the flower petals surrounding him, cheeks wet from the tears that fell from his eyes. His knees buckle and he falls onto the pavement, hands resting on top of the pile of pink flowers that escaped his system.

Jun sucks in a shaky breath, “Hao—”

“Don’t.” Minghao breathes, and Jun closes his mouth. 

Minghao slowly lifts up the blood splattered peony petals in his hands, feeling his bottom lip tremble from the memory of that beautiful day. Silence falls over the two of them as they stare at the cursed flowers that have brought so much heartbreak.

As a single tear falls from Minghao’s eye, he’s left wondering when his fate became so twisted.

one year later

You walk down the sidewalk, breathing in the warm, summer air as you do so. Shoving your hands into your pockets, you gaze around at your surroundings as you head to the event, only to stop when you lay eyes on the flower shop.

It’s been a year since you’ve gotten the surgery, and life’s been going well for you. You went to the interview at W Magazine and were hired a couple weeks later. You’re still far from your goal, but you’ve taken a step, and that’s more than enough. 

You and Minghao never spoke after he left your hospital room.

You’ve kept in contact with Jun, Soonyoung and Chan, as they were also your best friends. However, you know in your heart that it’s not the same. A bit of distance has grown between the four of you, but the love is still there.

Love. 

You think love is a crooked concept.

You let out a breath as you stare at the pink peony flowers, the memories flooding back into the forefront of your mind. You reach out and take a single peony, twisting the flower in your fingers as Minghao’s words play in your head.

“A pretty flower for my flower.” 

“Minghao!” The newly dyed blonde turns his head in the direction where he heard his name be called, only to let out a laugh when Jun, Soonyoung and Chan engulf him in a group hug. 

The sounds of the cheers from behind the curtain are still loud as the showcase has just ended, and it fills Minghao with the feeling of accomplishment as he excitedly converses with his friends.

It’s been a year since Minghao found out that you had hanahaki, and it’s been less than a year since Minghao got the surgery to remove the roots of the flower from his own lungs. 

You never learned that Minghao loved you.

“Let’s go and thank those who came so that we can go out for celebratory bbq.” Jun says with a happy smile, watching as Soonyoung and Chan nod their heads in agreement. The two begin to discuss the amount of food they’re going to order as they walk off the stage, but Jun stays back, staring at Minghao who seems to be deep in thought.

“Hao.” The blonde looks up towards Jun and he lets out a friendly grin. “Sorry, I was thinking of something.” 

“Thinking of what?” Jun asks, and Minghao simply shrugs his shoulders. 

“Nothing important anymore.” 

Minghao chuckles at Soonyoung and Chan beginning to bicker as they head towards Jun’s car, only for the blonde to pause when he reaches into his pocket to find nothing. Jun raises an eyebrow at Minghao’s concerned expression, “Did you forget something?” 

The blonde lets out an apologetic smile as he nods his head, already turning to head back into the auditorium, “I just forgot my airpods, I’ll be right back!” 

“Hurry or else we’ll leave you!” Chan calls out after him, and Minghao sends him a disappointed thumbs down as he begins to run back inside.  

Pushing open the doors, he smiles and bows towards the rest of the staff that are still in the building. He heads towards the dressing room and opens the door, letting out a breath of relief when he sees his airpods case sitting on the table. 

“Good thing no one took them.” Minghao mutters to himself as he walks over and grabs them. His eyes look up towards the mirror, only to pause when he sees what rests on the couch behind him. Slowly, he turns around and lays eyes on the bouquet of flowers. 

The familiar pink peonies are wrapped beautifully in brown paper, and there’s a single white peony in the middle of the arrangement, a stark contrast to the soft pink of the other peonies surrounding it.

Minghao bites his bottom lip and walks over towards the bouquet, seeing the envelope resting over the flowers. He reaches out and picks up the envelope, opening it up and taking out the card, only for a shaky breath to leave him when he reads the message.

you did well.

- ❀

You look up towards the sky as you walk to the bus stop, watching as the clouds move across the horizon. You wonder what it would be like to be able to touch the clouds, to grasp them in your hands.

The vibration of your phone cuts you off from your thoughts, and you pull it out of your pocket. Your heart stutters when you lay eyes on the notification, and you immediately unlock your phone, opening up the message.

minghao: thank you, my flower.

You let out a quiet laugh at the nickname, feeling something akin to warmth flood your system as you pocket your phone.

The feeling is foreign to you now, having been unfamiliar for over a year. It may not be the same, but it’s the closest you feel you’re ever going to get.

Tears suddenly fall past your eyes as you look up towards the pink clouds, and you wipe them away with the back of your hand. A sigh leaves your lips as you lower your head, now looking down at the sidewalk as your vision blurs from the tears flooding your eyes.

As you begin to walk towards the bus stop again, you’re left wondering why you’re even crying in the first place.

In China, peony is a traditional flower symbol and is called 牡丹 (mǔdān) which means “the most beautiful.” 

#caratwritersclub #ficscafe #xu minghao x reader #minghao x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen humor #seventeen x you #seventeen oneshot #seventeen oneshots #xu minghao #xu minghao scenarios #xu minghao fluff #xuminghao #seventeen minghao #minghao scenarios #minghao fanfic #seo myungho #seo myungho oneshot #seo myungho fluff #seo myungho angst #seo myungho x reader

[theyscreamjade]

I know you did a one shot with like the reader being thick but can we have on where it’s the opposite the reader has big boobs and a small butt 😗✌🏼 or the reader I just chubby all around I don’t really see a lot of one shots that include these thank you have a good day🥺

Perfection

Let's GO! Two in one day! ALSO, thank you all so much! I screamed when I seen the overflow of requests and I’m so amazed to see that many, thank you all so so much! You guys are the greatest! I’m also having a great day, Anon. I hope you’re having the same and a amazing thanksgiving! I also just assumed you wanted the same guys, if not, message me and I’ll add more!

Disclaimer: Samwiches, Cursing, and Fluff for your souls!

——————————————

Denki Kaminari

* My dear Weebster here has one big heart and that heart seemed to find its way to you.

* I see him as a type to not be as picky as you’d think. He falls for whoever he falls for.

* You being a chubby girl won’t even be a set back for him, he’s going to love every ounce of you.

* He thinks each roll, flab, and more that you have is perfect and you should never try to hate them.

* If anyone tries to bully, insult or make fun of you, he’s going to shock the living hell out of them to as high of a voltage that he possibly can until that brain of his is sorta fried.

* What does he love to see on you? Thigh highs! He think they’re hot on your body! He loves to see them grip your thighs perfectly while admiring you wearing them.

* He’ll definitely buy cat ones and pastel colors because they flatter your body.

* When you feel insecure, don’t worry about it. The next time you look into the mirror, it’ll be covered with sticky notes with positive messages and things he loves about you from head to toe.

* When you question him about it, he’ll stand behind you and point out each and everything he loves.

* Or..at times, he pounds his heart into you~

* So, About that samwich? He’s not picky and is..a both guy. Boobs? Ass? Both? Hell, he doesn’t care. They're all great to him.

* Now, If you got them. Trust me, they’re going to be squeezed, held, sucked while he giving you his all.

* You think that lights going to be off while he’s pounding you? Especially AFTER YOU DOWNED YOURSELF?!

* You’re about to see red because those LED lights are going to be reflecting off that body he loves so much.

* God, Thank god for this weeb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoto Todoroki

* I’ll say it once, I’ll say it again. He’s not picky. He goes for personality and if he’s attracted to you, he honestly thinks you’re the greatest for that.

* Shoto honestly worries throughout the relationship though because of his father because he honestly doesn’t want to burn the hell out of his father for saying a slick comment about your weight.

* That goes for everyone else too. He knows you can defend yourself but...a little frostbite won’t hurt them.

* He loves you for you and everything else. He doesn’t mind your weight and neither should you.

* What does he love on your body? Honestly, it may seem weird to some but he loves seeing you wear dresses and skirts. Why? The way the skirt flows with your body. He especially loves the overall dresses on you because he thinks it's adorable on you.

* Each sway you make with your walk while wearing a simple skirt, taking your insecurities and crumbling them just makes Shoto happy.

* If you ever feel insecure about your body and complain to him about what you hate? Unlike his father who’d offer plastic surgery, he’ll grab your hand and kiss that part you hate. Stomach? He’ll kiss it softly and tell you that it’s perfect the way it is.

* But...when it comes to samwiches?

* THIS MAN IS A FUCKING BOOB GUY! I SWEAR ON MY LIFE, HE. IS. A. FUCKING. BOOB. GUY!

* He has you in that missionary for a reason, and that’s to see your breasts bounce in his vision.

* Hell, you riding him while he leans against the wall is his favorite position because you’re covering his face with your breasts while your body is clapping against him.

* He’s going to hold you so tight before taking over, slamming into your at a hard, deep pace. His lips inches away from yours.

* Or after you say one negative thing about you, he’s holding you close from behind while you two were facing the full body mirror with him whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

* Bless this man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki Bakugo

* I’ve seen most where Bakugo is usually predicted to have a specific type but...I see him as a type to admire someone’s hard work ethic. Especially if they seem to want and push for something because he did the same.

* Weight wouldn’t much of an issue to him, he doesn’t care.

* If someone talks about you in ANY way, you better call a mortician because they’re about to die. He does not TOLERATE any ‘extra’ talking about what’s his.

* He may not show it often, but he genuinely loves you. Each day, he finds more to love about you. You flipped his world and he’s happy that you did.

* What does this explosive bastard love on you? His clothes, tank tops, and lastly..nothing at all.

* When you either sleep in his clothes or hoodies, it makes him proud to know that he was able to have a woman like you in his life.

* Tank tops are his best friend because honey! That chest is ready to POP when you’re just basically trying to cool off.

* But about that nothing at all part?..that’s a private matter. I see him as a type to snatch your towel after your shower just to see your body, wet with water droplets covering your skin.

* Again, Boobs or ass? He doesn’t care, he just want you. Every part of your body is getting. That. Attention.

* I have a small theory about Bakugo though, I sense he’s the type to have sex with the lights on. Yep, He wants to see all of you, every expression, roll, and more.

* Your shadow will be reflecting from the window in your bedroom while he’s marking your neck, pounding you senseless to erase those negative thoughts from your mind.

* (Lucky..)

#my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero academia fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia scenarios #bnha bakugo katsuki #i hope you like this #bnha shoto todoroki #bnha denki #kaminari denki #denki smut #denki x y/n #bakugou smut #bnha bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #bnha shoto x reader #shoto smut #shoto headcanons #bakugo headcanons #denki headcanons

[my-emotional-self]

Toxic Love Chapter 16

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing. But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.

Series Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy), mentions of suicide, flashbacks of suicide, nightmares, panic attacks

A/N: There will be no taglist for this story! I apologize in advance!

“Do you have your taser?” Steve and Bucky said collectively as you gathered your purse in your arms and slipped on your shoes.

“Oh my god,” you giggled your response. “Yes, I do.”

It was the day after your surprise birthday party and since you were now going to be heading to St. Lucia tomorrow, you realized you didn’t have much clothing for any kind of tropical place. Darcy had quickly agreed to go shopping with you and that’s why you were leaving the tower.

In the last month you barely left the tower. Not that you felt imprisoned at all. No. It was that you were comfortable. Now that everything was out in the open with Steve and Bucky, you didn’t feel the need to leave the tower much. The last time you left was for your appointment with Dr. Wang and both Steve and Bucky took you there.

They were the ones who normally liked to go with you out of the tower, but since they would be on vacation with you for a whole week, they needed to get some last minute things done for any upcoming missions. So, it would be you and Darcy and you were really excited to spend some time with her.

“Be safe and be good,” Steve said as he gave you a chaste kiss to your lips. You smiled at him, nodding your head.

“I don’t want to get a call that you are in jail,” Bucky joked as he kissed you next.

“It’s only going to be me and Darcy going shopping and out to brunch,” you replied, folding your arms in front of your chest.

“That’s what we’re worried about,” came Steve’s smart ass remark.

~~~

“How many swimsuits do you own?” Darcy asked as the two of you walked down the sidewalk where all the good shopping was. Clint had dropped you two off seeing as neither Steve nor Bucky wanted you two walking that far and you had agreed to stay within a certain radius of where the shopping and dining was. Especially after they found out that John or John’s friends had been sending you threatening letters and messages. But what you didn’t know, was that the bracelet that Steve and Bucky got you for your birthday, also had a tracker in it. They planned on telling you while on vacation, but it brought them a piece of mind and set them at ease while you weren’t with them.

“Umm, I honestly don’t think I even own one,” you remarked.

“Shut the front door. How do you not even own one swimsuit?”

You gave her a shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t really have any time or anywhere to go swimming recently. Before meeting Steve and Bucky, I never really got out to do much at all.”

Darcy linked her arm with yours and smiled at you. “Well, I’m glad I’ve met you because now I get some more girl time. With Nat being away on missions more often than Clint, I get stuck with him a lot.”

“Oh come on. You love him and you know it,” you teased back.

She sighed, “I do. I really do. But he is obsessed with going into the vents at the tower and he always wants me to go. He doesn’t realize that I have boobs and a butt that most certainly won’t fit in those vents.”

The two broke out into laughter and you loved how easy it was being around your friend. You didn’t have many friends growing up. With your parents mental health issues, you didn’t want to bring anyone over to the house and when you were invited over for a sleep over or to hang out somewhere else, you always said no because you felt like you had to keep an eye on your parents.

“Oooh, get this one!” Darcy put the slinkiest red bikini in your hands and your eyes grew wide at how little fabric there was.

“Darcy, there is literally nothing to this bikini,” you whispered to her, heat flooding your cheeks at the thought of wearing something like this at the beach.

“That’s the point! You’re on vacation with two of the hottest men in the world whom, by the way, you have wrapped around your finger. And plus, Tony’s place has its own private beach meaning no one else but you three get access to it,” Darcy spoke as she continued to look at more bathing suits. She did have a good point, but you would still feel utterly exposed in something like this. “And we’ll just get you a few more suits for when you want to go to the public beaches.”

“How many suits do you think I should get?”

“Uhh, at least seven. You’re going to be there for a whole week so you need to have one for each day.”

While you had more than enough money in your bank account, you realized Darcy had a major shopping problem and she was to help you drain it dry. At least she offered to buy you lunch today.

The two of you shopped for a few more hours. The sun was shining high in the sky and it felt so good to get fresh air and spend some girl time with Darcy. She helped you pick out a bunch of new clothes including some light weight dresses as she thought all your clothing was too dark and heavy for some place tropical, swim suit cover ups and her personal favorite, lingerie. You didn’t own anything more than a few matching pairs of bras and underwear and they weren’t even lace. Darcy was an expert at lingerie, stating both Natasha and Clint loved seeing her in it.

While you had spent a bit more than you wanted to, you knew it was for something good. Spending an entire week with your two soulmates on a tropical island for a vacation sounded heavenly and you couldn’t wait for it to be tomorrow already. Never in your life had you gone on vacation, let alone a vacation that is fully paid for.

After lunch, the two of you went to Target to pick up some last minute essentials and a few travel sized items. Darcy explained that Tony would have everything covered at the beach house but you just wanted to be on the safe side.

Once done, Darcy called Clint to pick you two up and you headed back to the tower. Your feet were killing you, even though you wore your comfiest pair of shoes. It was a long day on your feet and you couldn’t wait to get this vacation started.

“Honey I’m home,” you sand as the elevator doors opened to your apartment.

Neither Steve nor Bucky were in the living room or kitchen as you walked into the apartment. There was however a note sitting on the kitchen counter for you.

Y/N,

We hope you had fun shopping with Darcy today and we can’t wait to spend the next week with you in paradise. We had a few errands of our own to run and will be back in time for dinner.

Xoxo

Steve and Bucky

While they could have easily sent you a text telling you they would be out for a little bit, you couldn’t help but smile at how old fashioned they were. Honestly, you loved the notes they had left around the apartment for you to find. Sometimes on your pillow when you woke up, or a sticky note attached to your mirror in the bathroom. It was little sentiments like that, that made your heart swell with pride knowing they were all yours.

With your numerous bags in hand, you headed to your bedroom so you can begin packing for your week in paradise.

Dumping your purse and bags on your large bed, you went into the closet and you pulled out the suitcase that Darcy lent you. Hauling the suitcase onto your bed with a grunt, you opened it and admired just how much space there was in the suitcase. At least you didn’t have to pay extra for the large suitcase since you were taking Tony’s private jet.

Just thing, your phone alerted you to a text message. Rummaging it out of your purse, you turned your phone on. The smile instantly wiped from your face. Your blood running cold as you started at the words.

I’ll be seeing you soon babe. I can’t wait to get my hands on your precious body. –J

Your heart began to race. It was getting harder to breathe.

“Miss Y/N,” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoed faintly in the room. Your vision started to get blurry and you didn’t know if that was from the tears or if you were having a panic attack. “I am calling Captain Rogers right now.”

Your knees buckled from under you as you reached onto the bed to somewhat break your fall. This couldn’t be happening. How did he get your number? He knew where you used to live, but you had changed your number and made sure to not give it out to anyone. How could he possibly have gotten your phone number? Your breathing was ragged and you were beginning to gasp for air. If he had your phone number, that meant he was closer than ever to you. Closer to finding you. But he was still in prison, he was still locked up. Right?

“Sweetheart,” Steve’s voice came over the speakers. “What’s going on? F.R.I.D.A.Y said your heartbeat is skyrocketing.”

“He-he, John,” you couldn’t get the words out as you were gasping for air.

“Breathe doll,” now it was Bucky’s voice you were hearing. “Just breathe. We are in the elevator right now coming to you but you have to breathe.”

You tried. Fuck did you try to breathe but it was so hard. It felt like someone was squeezing your chest. It hurt. You hurt. Your vision began to go dark as you faintly heard your name being called over and over again.

Slumping down on the ground, you thought this was it. This was how you were going to die. Alone. Terrified. This isn’t how you wanted to die. You wanted to die old and wrinkly with Steve and Bucky by your side, not like this.

Before you could full go unconscious, you felt yourself being picked up in strong arms. Your vision slowly coming back and you realized you were on your bed, sitting down with your back against something hard and firm, yet soft at the same time.

“Y/N? Sweetheart can you hear me?” Steve’s worried voice consumed your mind as you slowly began to blink, seeing him kneeling in front of you on the bed. It was then that you realized you were laying against Bucky, his metal arm around your front and holding your chest tightly to him. “Good girl. There’s our girl. Now I need you to breathe. Feel Bucky breathing behind you. Match his breathing sweet girl.”

You took a few gasping breaths and you could feel Bucky’s heartbeat against your back. Doing as best you could, you could begin to feel your heartbeat starting to regulate. Reaching up, you placed your hand over Bucky’s metal arm, wanting to keep anchored to him.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, what happened?” Steve’s voice was calm and collected now as he watched you start to finally relax, eyes closed.

“It appears Miss Y/N had a massive panic attack,” the A.I responded.

You could hear Steve take a deep sigh and you opened your eyes, finding his blue orbs staring back at you. “What brought this one sweetheart?”

Instantly your chin began to quiver. “Wh-where’s my pho-phone?” you choked out?

Steve looked around the floor for your phone as you Bucky kept you anchored to him. You felt as if you were to move from your position you would fall apart.

Once Steve found your phone, he handed it to you. You didn’t want to look at it. You couldn’t. Instead, you shook your head and with the saddest voice, you told him to open it.

He looked between you and Bucky and then down to your phone in his hand. You didn’t have a password on it so Steve pressed the button on the side to light your phone up. He didn’t even need to swipe to open. He saw the text. It was right there, staring back at him. Steve’s hand gripped your phone so tight you were honestly shocked he didn’t break the phone in half.

#steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers smut #dark! steve rogers

[hongjoongslut]

Royal Enemies

psychopath!hongjoong x queen!reader

summary: ever since you were young, kim hongjoong was your enemy. you hated him but he was so perfect in every way. for years, he tried to be with you. due to his criminal family and your royal family, it was taboo. now that you’re both grown, he comes to find you, but not without leaving hints before he shows up.

word count: 3.2k

warnings:royal!au, mentions of blood, knives, parents death but doesn’t describe the actual death, beheading, crime scene photos. hongjoong being kinda a psychopath (obviously), tatted!joong, personalservant!mingi, personalbodyguard!yunho, hongjoong uses a shit ton of pet names, oral (m receiving), talk of birth control, unprotected sex, aftercare, sorta enemies to lovers??, mentions of hongjoong’s gang

A/N: i think that’s all the warnings, let me know if i missed something. also i was inspired by a tiktok imagine to write this 😂 also the italics are when reader is in thought mode

why did he have to be so damn perfect? you were raised to hate his...kind. your parents have had his parents arrested before, even threatened to behead them. he wanted you for so long, even when you were such young children. he would always come to you with a dandelion, saying it would match the yellow earrings you always wore. time after time, you refused him, hurting him and you inside.

your crowing ceremony was filled with the town citizens. you knew hongjoong and his family was banished from this town. you didn’t have to worry about dealing with them no further, or so you thought. unfortunately your parents passed a year after you became queen. you luckily had enough experience and knowledge to fight for yourself.

“your majesty, this was sent in. it has nothing on it but your name. should i throw it away?” your servant asks. “actually Mingi, let me see it please.” he hands you the envelope and bows before leaving you be. you opened the envelope slowly, slightly worried of what was inside. it was a letter from what you can see.

“Y/N, it’s been so long sweetheart. im proud of you finally becoming the queen. you always deserved that crown. you looked gorgeous that day.” you pause reading to see a polariod of you being crowned taped to the back of the envelope. “it’s a gorgeous picture, isn’t it? im going to let you hold it for me while i do some business. im coming back to town soon to see you, my love. you can no longer deny me now that your family is gone. i know you felt the same way about me as i did you. don’t worry pretty princess, everything will be okay. see you soon.-Joongie”

your eyes widen. he was there at the ceremony. he was banished, how did he pass through without detection? part of you felt nervous, knowing his family reputation, but the other actually felt a little...excited? it’s been so long, he’s probably grown into a handsome man. you shake your head, clearing all thoughts.

“everyone, i called you here because someone from my past is supposed to come into town. he isn’t an old friend...well, he kinda is. but he’s dangerous.” you somehow managed to find a sorta recent picture of him. damn did he look good. “his name is kim hongjoong. if you see him, bring him to me immediately, alive. he is too dangerous to be in this town.” your guards all bowed and left, except for yunho. “your majesty?” you turn, seeing your personal guard. “what’s up yunho?” you smile. he really is like a lost puppy. “that’s...the kid from our childhood, right? the one who was so in love with you and would try everyday to be with you?” you sigh, nodding along. “how do you know he’s dangerous? maybe he just wants to reunite?” he’s too innocent. “yunho, his family is an infamous killer group. he was probably born holding a cleaver in his fist. he wants to come here to see me, and me alone. god knows what he’ll do to the people if they get in his way.” he nods. “yes, your majesty. My guards and I will do everything it takes to protect you and this town.” you smile at him, watching him leave the room.

now it’s getting scary. the other day, a dandelion was on your nightstand. none of your guards or anyone else in the castle put it there. notes were left almost everyday, containing pictures of you and stuff he has said to you in the past.

“these will match your yellow earrings perfectly, darling.”

“black has always been your color, my love.”

“i will see you soon. dress nice for me,will you?”

you may have been nervous, but regardless tradition is tradition. for centuries, this town has a big party at the castle to celebrate the queen and her 2 year anniversary. your parents never told you why, and it was kinda confusing. why was it 2 years instead of 5 or 10? you stare at the mirror, preparing yourself to give a speech due to the suspicious activity in the town recently.

“Hello everyone. I know lately there have been some suspicious activity happening around here, but do not fear. my guards have this place locked down. we are safe here. we will have the traditional party at 6. dress as you like and just remember to be careful!” the crowd cheers. you smile and bow before rushing to get ready.

your makeup was done so heavenly. a beautiful smoky eye look to compliment your gorgeous black lace dress. of course, you asked your suitor to add a lace cape. yes, you were extra alright. his words kept replaying in your head. is he coming tonight? he said see you soon. he said to dress pretty. what’s gonna happen? you check your watch, seeing it’s almost time to open the doors. you got this.

it’s been an hour and so far everything has runned smoothly. people have come up to you and thanked you, took pictures with you and some old childhood friends came to catch up and they were totally not jealous.

it’s rounding 10:30 PM and most have left due to having work early next morning. you couldn’t relate. you didn’t realize you had pockets in your dress until now, when you tried to scratch your thigh. some fabrics always make you itch. there was something in there, however. maybe it was a surprise letter from the suitor, or someone in the castle or one of the townspeople? you opened it, all you read was a time.

“12 PM. i suggest you be in the castle, waiting for me on your throne.

-joongie”

you told the guards to end the party early, and to tell everyone to be safe and careful. you sat in your thone, not because he told you to. you wanted to. or maybe it was both. you told yunho of the little note you found and he has been by you ever since.

screams fill your ears. he’s here. yunho eased you, holding his weapon ready. the front doors swung open, revealing a bloody, wearing all black kim hongjoong.

“stop right now, hongjoong.” hongjoong laughs. “Jeong Yunho? it’s been a minute man. hope everything is well. don’t worry, i won’t your pretty little princess. all i want is a talk. “i’m not leaving her side. you’re dangerous.” he laughs, slightly louder. “dangerous? oh please, you remember how i was. i would cry if someone killed a fly near me. i need to talk to her alone.” before yunho could say anything, you stopped him. “i got this yunho, you go check on the other staff and stay away from here.” he hesitated but nodded and ran.

“Y/N. you look as lovely as ever. and you even wore black like i mentioned? you must love me.” you scoff. “i barely remembered you name. what makes you think you can come into my town and scare all these innocent people, when all you wanted was me?” he steps closer, now about a foot in front of you. “you don’t remember how mischievous and sneaky i was? i’d always make a little treasure hunt for you. if you lost your earring, i’d find it fast and make a little hunt for you just so you can find it. plus, the dandelions.” he always was a little mischievous. “so why did you come to see me, joongie?” he smiles. “you really are innocent, aren’t you? i know you know that i was madly in love with you, and still am.” your jaw drops. you knew he loved you then but still now? “you can’t love someone if you know little to nothing about them.” he steps closer, making you grip your hidden knife. gotta love having hidey spots. “really? i saw your eyes light up when they showed the photos of murders my parents did. i always saw it. the way you got excited when they would lock someone up. the way you smiled when they beheaded that guard that was secretly our bitch. you’re a psychopath just as i am. you can just easily hide it.” no, he’s not right. is he? you stood there, trying to find words to spit at him. “princess, listen to me. we can rule this town. there wouldn’t be any criminal activity at all. especially if my crew were part of the guards. i’ll spare you the details for now, but they get the job done efficiently.”

you step back, revealing your knife, which is ironically black. “if you want me joongie, come get me then.” he pulls his bloody knife out, flicking some blood on the marble floor. someone will clean this up later. “you said if i want you, well in what way sweetheart? i don’t want to kill you unless you harm me. but…” he pauses, a smirk crawling into his lips “i want you under me screaming for me. take that as you will, but tell me which way you want so i can know how to proceed. why did he have to be so damn attractive. “then throw your knife to the side. i will mine at the same time.” he lowers his knife, staring at you. “i’ll throw mine, but i’ll let you keep yours honey. in case you need it to protect you from actual harm.” his knife clatters on the floor, spots of blood flying from it. why was it so beautiful? his hands were raised in the air. “do what you want, your majesty.” shouldn’t have said that.

“follow me to my bedroom, i don’t want anyone to see what im about to do to you. it will absolutely scar them.” he smiles. “you’re a kinky queen? was not expecting that.” he starts to laugh but you point right at his adam’s apple. “i would watch what you say right now. i’m in charge of how you die.” he nods, following you.

you have the knife to his back, slowly leading him to sit on your bed. “i wanted to talk in here so it’s more private. this is my business, not the castles.” he smirks, nothing leaving his lips. “why do you..” you pause, feeling your anger boil up. you push him back and crawl on top of him. “always have to be so attractive, yet so dangerous? why do i want you when i know i shouldn’t? tell me why you have been fucking with my head since i was a kid!” you yell, not realizing how close your lips are to his. “because princess, that’s how attraction works. your brain and heart go at war until one wins. how about you end the war and kiss me?” he whispers, grabbing your cheek softly. your breath shakes before you crash your lips to his.

instantly, fire fills your body. you want to make him pay for making you feel this way about him. your tongues fought for dominance. you were going to win, but his hand comes to your throat, bringing you off his lips. “such a dirty girl. are you sure you want this?” yes, more than you fucking know. “maybe i should ask you the same thing, you fucking bottom.” that switched something in him, his eyes fueling with even more lust. he slaps your ass, you do your best to keep your moan in. you won’t win this easily, joongie. “such a filthy fucking mouth for a queen. don’t you think? you may be a brat to others, but you will not be one with me. you will take what i give you and obey me. or else…” his hand grazes your thigh, right near your knife. “we might have to see how well this knife really works.”

he stand you up off the bed. “im gonna take my sweet time with you princess. i’ve been waiting for this for years.” he slowly unzips your back, letting the dress fall to your hips. surprise, i wore expensive lingerie, waiting for you. “look at this, looks like you’re dirtier than i thought. the people think you’re this sweet, innocent woman. i know you’re nothing but a psychopath who loves to play a facade.” you step out of the dress, facing you and hongjoong in the mirror. “look at how sexy you are princess. so beautiful, so pure. this skin…” he stops to feel your body, his main focus on your chest. “so markable...fuck.” you turn to face him, smirking. “get on the bed, criminal.” he quirked his eyebrow, smiling at the name. you’re back on top of him, kissing him fiercely as you unbutton his shirt. his chest reveals so many tattoos that blend so beautifully together. you stopped to feel his toned ink covered chest. “like what you see princess?” you nod, feeling your way to where his pants border his hips. he leans you off him, pulling his pants down. holy shit. he looks so sexy. it looks so.. big. “you’re staring, princess.” you snap out of your thoughts, remembering where you were. he lays you so gently on the bed, slowly kissing down your body. he leaves marks all down your chest. “joongie-“ you moan in such bliss, your hands finding his hair to tug. you can feel your arousal almost running down your thigh. luckily this lingerie set was crotch-less.

he slowly runs his fingers through your folds, groaning when he felt your arousal drown his digits. “so fucking wet baby…fuck”. he slowly inserts one finger, both of you groaning in unison. “so tight..no one has taken proper care of you,have they princess?” you shake your head, your mind too clouded with lust to speak a word. please keep going joongie. he removed his finger, sucking your arousal off. “so sweet, sweeter than anything i’ve ever had.” he comes back to kiss you, slowly to allow you to taste your arousal. you push him back to take off his boxers, watching his cock spring free from the almost offensive material. holy shit. he is big. “don’t worry pretty, it will fit and i’ll make sure to not hurt you...too much” you laugh at his comment. you stick your tongue out to tease his tip. he hisses at the contact. “you better not fucking tease me y/n. you will not like the consequences.” try me. you so wanted to tease him, but you were desperate to have his cock in you one way or another. you slowly lower your mouth almost all the way to the base, beautiful moans and choked groans leaving hongjoong’s lips. “shit, your mouth is so perfect baby.” you lick the underside of his cock, spreading your saliva everywhere. he owes me for ruining my makeup. his hands reach behind your head, placing his hands on you, but not moving. i see what you want. you come off his cock to catch a breath. “fyi joongie, i know what you wanna do.” you smile and wink. he smirks. “what’s your safe world darling?” he grabs your cheek, rubbing it softly. “you’re gonna think it’s stupid, but it’s pepper.” he laughs. “i mean, if it works it works.” you laugh with him, staring into his eyes. why did i choose to ignore this side of him? you slowly ease his cock back into your mouth, his hands resuming his previous placement. he slowly thrust into your mouth, the tip reaching the back of your throat. “fuck..” he sighs. he slowly speeds up, your body is trying to make you gag, but you push it down. i’m not showing him any signs of weakness. his pace is almost inhumane, your throat beginning to burn at the force. “shit shit shit...god you’re so perfect.” he removes your head, lifting it to see your makeup ruined. “i already thought you were gorgeous, but with your makeup ruined, you look so heavenly.” you smile, crawling back into the bed. he follows you, crawling on top. “are you on birth control baby?” he asks as he leaves more hickies down your chest. “y-yes, just fuck me joongie, please” he lines himself up, coating his tip in your arousal. he slowly pushes himself in, watching your face scrunch in pleasure. fuck. he’s so big. “holy shit y/n, i am not gonna last long. your pussy is so fucking perfect” he inches himself in until he bottoms out. his eyes close, the pleasure being too much. “joongie, please move” he pulls back a little, just to push himself all the way back in. his pace started off slow, low groans emitting from his lips. “so beautiful baby, so fucking beautiful” he goes faster, moans filling the room. “so big, so full joongie” he smiles, kissing your forehead. i love him. a knot in your stomach begins to tighten. “so-so close joongie-e..please please let me cum” he thrusts so fast, bringing his hand to rub your clit. “me too angel. you can do it baby, cum all over my fucking cock. show me what a dirty girl you really are.” the knot snaps, your vision flashing white. “good girl.” you’re still coming down from your euphoria when you feel his hot cum paint your walls. he eases himself out of you and lays next to you. “are you okay princess? did i hurt you?” you laugh. that’s really ironic. “im okay joongie. you didn’t hurt me.” you cuddle up in his arms, not wanting to leave your bed. “i know you’re comfy, but i have to clean you up” he gets up, grabbing your hand. “to your bath, my queen”

warmth fills your body. you’ve never let anyone bathe you before. you were way too insecure and wouldn’t dare make one of your workers do so. “such a beautiful woman.” he washes your body, being very careful around your chest area. “how am i gonna hide these baby?” you pout. he giggles, kissing your cheek. “don’t worry my love, i have a right hand woman that is absolutely excellent in makeup. she’s good at covering wounds and etc, so i assume she can hide a hickey.” you smile, tiredness filling your eyes. he dries you off and carries you back to your bed. “i would let you wear my clothes, but they’re kinda dirty at the moment..” you and him laugh. “i’ll be okay. but you owe me.” he nods and bows. he joins you in your bed, cuddling you close. “thank you princess for finally accepting my love. you don’t know how long i’ve wanted this. us together, you.” you were too tired to form a sentence, so you hummed in agreement. should i tell him? you both lay in silence, basking in each other’s warmth. “baby?” you ask, opening your eyes. you lean your head up to see hongjoong’s face. “yes my love?” you smile and kiss him. “I love you.” he smiles and brings you impossibly closer.

“i love you more my queen.”

#ateez #hongjoong smut #hongjoong #atiny

[sasstrash]

Please forgive me I've been super focused on school

The Silent Queen 6; A Royal Morning

Raven woke up the same she always did - quietly. No one ever really noticed her until she was outside her room and hallway back in the castle but at school, people smiled and waved at her the second she left her dorm with Maddie. She guessed that the news of her arrival had spread and a lot of people wanted to know the daughter of the Evil Queen. Raven grimaced at the thought, she would have preferred not to be known at all. To just be a minor character in a smaller story. With a happy ending. But that wasn’t who she was, she was Raven Queen and this was her life.

Walking down the corridors to the castleteria was mostly uneventful aside from all the other students who continued looking at her and pointing things out. It was times like these that she wished she could hear. But then again she wasn’t sure how well she’d adjust to suddenly being able to hear. The castleteria itself is big and crowded with white lighting that made everything look brighter than what Raven was used to, many eyes looked over to her and Raven felt herself subconsciously tug at a lavender streak in her hair. This was going to be a long school year.

Cerise stood up and waved over at the pair of newcomers from her table where she sat with Cedar, Hunter, and a few girls who Raven vaguely remembered from yesterday who had been with that blonde- Apple, Apple White. The next Snow White, the one Raven would eventually have to poison. Raven stopped moving for a second at the thought of her destiny. Eyes wide she almost started to shake until Maddie lightly poked her shoulder, pointing to the castleteria’s food table. Raven straightened and followed her roommate and best friend to grab breakfast.

At home, she usually just walks into the kitchen. Chef made pancakes most mornings with berries from the nearby forest and honey on top. Raven always loved those pancakes, even if she had them almost every day. Raven quickly put a few slices of bacon on her plate smiling at the staff before grabbing some fruit salad and a couple of waffles and left to follow Maddie over to Cedar’s table. Most people moved out of the way to let the two girls pass through in order to get to their table. If Raven was being honest she had expected more students to run away from her when she arrived, and yet they all seemed to be completely enamoured by her. Weird. Maybe it was because she hadn’t shown up for regular school until this year, or because no one knew what she looked like (she avoided mirror phones and rarely left the castle grounds), or maybe none of them knew much about deaf people. Or maybe all three. By the time she and Maddie sat down, Raven was already exhausted, and she hadn’t even gone to class yet!!

‘Morning Rae, how was your first night at EAH?’ Cerise signed over to her childhood friend. Raven smiled at the nickname, Cerise had given it to her when they were about six, very soon afterwards Raven and Cerise began talking more over chats with their mirror phones as Cerise started elementary school while Raven began to be castleschooled. The two would work on video chats every now and again to keep sign language in Cerise’s vocabulary, (usually with a little help from Ramona too, but it’s not like they could talk about that it was a secret!) so the two stayed connected no matter where they were.

‘It’s been good Cher,’ another nickname that had come from their younger years ‘you know after the whole Headmaster situation me and Maddie set up our dorm. It was definitely different from the castle or your place’ Raven concluded before picking up her fork. She really was hungry after skipping dinner last night. As the others smiled at her she felt a warm fuzzy feeling wash over her, these were her friends, some through childhood, some through the others and they all loved her. She was loved, at least she was now but once she became, that she wouldn’t be. Her smile began to dim just a tad as she bit into her waffle. She shook it off before looking at the three girls she didn’t know the names of. ‘Oh sorry I almost forgot, I’m Raven, and you guys are?’ she asked the brunette in pink, the platinum blonde in white and the ginger with green eyes. Each one smiled at her as brightly as her friends, if not a bit brighter, they were probably princesses, Raven thought to herself before each one signed their names.

‘Briar Beauty’ The girl in all pink signed with slightly tired eyes. Raven immediately made the connection to the Sleeping Beauty Story, it took a lot for her not to frown, that was always such a sad tale, sleeping for a hundred years would mean losing the people she loved. Even still Raven could see that something else was turning in her mind, maybe she’d get to see what that was.

The ginger signed after ‘Ashlynn Ella it’s nice to meet you!’ she had the brightest smile that Raven had seen from the trio. Cinderella’s daughter her mind added in, another story with a happy ending but a tragic beginning, she couldn’t imagine losing both of her parents. Then again it was better than being imprisoned in a mirror, or being forced to dance in hot iron shoes until death, or being crushed by a boulder after falling off of a cliff. Raven’s thoughts were broken as she saw that Ashlynn was sitting very close to Hunter, who seemed to be completely focused on her, the dork had a crush, which seemed to be mutual. If Raven could speak well she would have laughed.

‘I’m Darling Charming but you can call me Darl for short’ The Platinum Blonde signed last as she gave a simple polite smile. Like the one that Raven had been taught to use for visitors and knights when she was younger. A female born Charming? She had heard of it before but it wasn’t common, most of them became small-time princesses with small kingdoms, or took over for the Charming Kingdom when the time came. It would be interesting Raven thought to see where her destiny leads her, after all, Darling definitely had the most open book story out of all of them.

‘It’s nice to meet all of you’ Raven signed before continuing ‘So.. has anyone gotten a schedule, I still haven’t’ It hadn’t been a big surprise to her though, she supposed no one had accounted for her deafness and they might have had to remake her schedule. After she mentioned it though she saw Cedar hit her head with her hand. “Ugh, I almost forgot,” she muttered to the group before pulling out a piece of paper. ‘Here Raven, I passed the headmaster and he asked me to give this to you, don’t worry he only had to reschedule two subjects!’ she finished passing the note over. Raven sent a grateful smile to her friend thank goodness for Cedar on the top of the paper a note was written with a schedule underneath. It read:

Dear Ms. Queen; first of all, I’d like to apologize for not being aware of this sooner, in the short time we’ve been given I was able to find some students to help you translate in each class. However, just in case most classes have an extra student who understands sign language. Below is your schedule, I hope you enjoy your time here at Ever After High.

Sincerely,

Headmaster Grimm

Breakfast: 6:30-8:30

Block one: Geografairy with Professor Jack B. Nimble (assisted by Cerise Hood) 8:45-9:30

Block two: Beast Training and Care with Professor Poppa Bear (assisted by Dexter Charming) 9:35-10:20

Block three: General Villainy with Professor Badwolf (assisted by Ramona Badwolf) 10:25-11:10

Block four: Math with Dr. King Charming (assisted by Ashlynn Ella) 11:15-12:00

Lunch: 12:00-12:45

Block five: History with Professor Rumpilstilskin (assisted by Madelyn Hatter) 1:00-1:45

Block six: Spellcasting and Potions with Professor Baba Yaga (assisted by Cedar Wood) 1:50-2:35

Block seven: Grimmnastics with Coach Gingerbreadman (assisted by Darling Charming) 2:40-3:25

Block eight: Art with Professor Card (assisted by Meshell Mermaid) 3:30-4:15

Dinner may be had at any time after this, as can counselling with Baba Yaga or Mother Goose. Lights out is at 10:30

Raven smiled at the schedule she only didn’t know two of the names on here. She was nervous to start her time at EAH but as long as she had good grades and a clear head she was sure she would do fine.

Notes:

I am really sorry this took so long, I kept forgetting about it because of school and COVID. btw if anyone knows how to make a master post and pin it could you please let me know? I would like to be able to do that. I also just got an AO3 account so I might post on there.

Taglist For The Silent Queen:

@virgil-is-a-cutie @justafanwarrior @bee-a-garbage-shipper @spicybelladonna @starrry-nites @tired-butterfly @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @themagicmistic @a-star-with-a-human-name @futursworld @pepelachanel @me-with-a-z-and-double-the-e @wolf-for-life

@iz-bell-saiah @thebookwormfairy @fantasiame

#raven queen #eah #ever after high #maddie hatter #cerise hood #brair beauty #ashlynn ella #darling charming #the silent queen

[sound-of-the-cosmos]

Demon Slayer; Tanjiro x Reader: “You don’t leave the one you love when they need you the most.”

Genre: Heavy angst!!

Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Paring: Kamado Tanjiro x Reader

Summary: After Tanjiro asks you to accompany him on a mission, you accept and travel with him. Once arriving at the Red Light District, you both come into contact with an upper moon named Daki- and you run into the people you never thought you’d see again.

Warnings: Major historical inaccuracies (the demon’s name, personality and appearance are from the manga- everything else is purely fictional), violence, blood, PTSD, mentions/implications of rape

Word count: 2.2k

“Get away from them before I break every bone in your body!” “It’s alright; I’m right here, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

Third Person P.O.V

Originally, the mission was meant to be his, with only a Hashira with him. However, once coming to the realization that all of them were gone on their own missions, a sense of dread began to fill his senses. Would he have to ask Inosuke, or Zenitsu? They were currently on their own mission, so that wouldn’t work..

He let out a sigh, thinking over his options on the roof of the Butterfly Manor. A soft tap of the ceramic tiles alerted his mind, while your scent had already flooded his senses. 

For some reason, you always smelled of Lavender and Rain. It was a clean, pleasant scent, but the connotations always concerned Tanjiro. You sit gingerly beside him, your haori fluttering ever so lightly in the wind. Odd how at dusk, the light seemed to highlight his eyes and features so gently. 

“Something wrong?” Your voice was always soft and silvery, now being no exception. Your gentle e/c eyes gazed into his, and he smiles a little, grateful for the company. 

“I have a mission I have to leave for soon, but I don’t have anyone to accompany me. The Flame Hashira was supposed to meet me here, but I was told he left 3 days ago for another mission.” As per usual, his voice was modulated and kind. He glanced your way, before returning his gaze to the skies. 

“I currently don’t have any; I may not be as strong as a Hashira, but I can accompany you, if you’d like,” A gentle smile danced across your lips, and Tanjiro’s cheeks felt heated, his gaze and expression mirroring your own.

“Yeah- that would be great!” With a nod, you stand and walked down the side of the roof, taking a step off the edge. A startled noise escaped his lips, before you laughed softly, staring up in bemusement. “We’ll leave tomorrow at dawn, then?” He questioned, and you hummed. 

“Tomorrow at dawn.”

__________________________________________________

~Slight time skip to morning~

__________________________________________________

A crow cawed in the window, speaking in its usual shrill tones. “Today’s mission is in the Red Light District! Deaths in the Kyogoku House have been reported! The owner is missing! Head North at once!”

Groaning, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, glancing at the spot where the crow had once been. You throw your legs over the side of the bed, before getting freshened up. After changing into your (freshly cleaned) uniform, you find your dragon haori folded neatly on a chair. 

A ghost of a smile flashed across your face as you shrug it over your shoulders. As you pick up your Nichirin sword, the familiar coolness of the hilt eased your troubled mind. Adjusting it so you can walk with it attached to your hip, your hand raised to open the sliding door.

However, moments before you can, another hand beats you to it. Tanjiro’s eyes meet your own, and the gentle pink dusts over his cheeks once more. He stepped back, raising his hands as a type of surrender. “I wasn’t going to do anything- I just wanted to make sure you were awake with the crow and all-” 

Then, you did something that surprised him. You laughed. 

“Ah- Tanjiro, it’s alright, I woke up when I heard it. Thank you for deciding to check on me though,” You flashed him a quick smile, noticing that once again, he had the wooden box attached to his back. While you sensed there was a demon inside, he would’ve told you if it was something to worry about.

His expression melted a little, smiling along with you, though he made a mental note to ask you as to why that yours disappeared so quickly. 

As the two of you waved goodbye to the people from the house, sunlight finally streamed through the trees and illuminated the path ahead. Tanjiro cast a grin your way, but you didn’t respond, instead looking into the trees the opposite way. He frowned a little, confused, before humming. “What do you make of the mission?”  

You swallow a small lump in your throat. The Red Light district was known for housing brothels, and that made your stomach churn. “I think we need to keep our senses sharp. I have a really, really bad feeling about this.” He nodded slightly, before sniffing a little. The smell of sage was radiating around you, which he supposed was understandable. 

“If you don’t mind my asking,” you began, and his body tensed. He knew the question coming, “Why do you carry a demon with you? Is it family?” He and the box had a similar aura, a gentle teal mixed with blues or purple tones. Nervously sweating, he opens his mouth to try to deflect, but you stop him. “If  you don’t want to tell me, that’s alright too. I trust your judgement.” 

You stopped a few paces in front of him, the District not far from your sight. Your blood ran cold before he responded. “It’s my sister.” He finally spoke, and you nodded lightly, crossing your arms across your chest. He smiled a little, unbeknownst to you. A gentle scent of sandalwood mixed with the sage. 

Placing a hand on the hilt of your sword, you began to walk once more. “I want to get this over with- not because I dislike you, but I don’t like this place. Something isn’t right.” He nodded, taking in a small breath. 

“I know what you mean. Something doesn’t smell right here- there’s a lot more fear than there should be.” The scent of ash filled the air, and his senses were on high alert. You pull your haori just a little further over your shoulders- while the uniform Demon Slayers were given was fully covering, there was still a sense of nudity that had you unnerved. 

The house in question stood in front of you, lights flashing and the sliding door open. A beautiful woman with dark hair stood in the entryway, greeting the both of you as you enter. “Welcome to the Kyogoku House. Who is your appointment scheduled with?” Her aura wasn’t right, you noted. Sickly green, with dark purple tendrils here and there. What was she? Who was she?

“We don’t have an appointment. I was wondering if you could tell us who the woman was that disappeared from here?” Your voice was somewhat friendly, but you didn’t miss the flash of understanding in her eyes. They looked like pools of honey.. 

“Ah, yes- the last owner of the establishment didn’t go missing. Instead, she committed suicide, jumping off the roof of this place. I tried to stop her, but,” She sighed, shaking her head, “I didn’t reach her in time.” There was a forced tremor in her voice, and by that alone you could tell she was lying. But you couldn’t call her out quite yet. 

“Is there anyone else we could talk to, to try and understand what happened?” Tanjiro questioned, and from his voice, you could tell he believed her. Then again, you had met more than your fair share of manipulative people. Tanjiro could smell the sage stronger now, mixed with the rain. 

“You could talk to Himari- though she’s with a client as of right now.” That snake-like smirk didn’t miss your gaze. You swallowed the bitter words you were dying to say, and asked a question you knew you would hate yourself for. 

“Would you mind showing us around while we wait?” 

As you would expect, the brothel was as filthy as you thought it would be. Your gut screamed to leave, but there you sat, drinking tea with the woman and Tanjiro. His gaze fell on you every so often- how your hair framed your face, how your voice was so soft and gentle- everything about you entranced him. The scent of Sage and Rain were still present, and stronger than ever. 

You raised slowly, bowing as respectfully as you could to the lady in front of you. “Excuse me, but would you mind directing me to your washroom?” It was a lie simply so you could look around on your own, but she didn’t seem to catch that. 

With a nod, her dainty hand raised to point to your right. “Down that hallway, down the stairs and the 4th door to your left.” Oddly specific. You bowed once again, turning around and leaving the room. You follow her instructions to the floor she directed, before opening the first door. 

A storage closet, with cleaning supplies and extra uniforms meets your gaze. A soft sigh of relief escaped your lips, and you close it. You continue to do this up until the 4th door on the left- the room she’d instructed you to go to. 

Your heart pounded in your chest, like a wild animal trying to escape it’s confines. You slowly open the door, and 3 men pounce on you, slapping their hand over your mouth before you can cry out. “She didn’t lie, this one is pretty. This the one with the rape fantasy, right?” Your eyes widened, and they grinned wickedly. 

A rush of wind behind you is the only warning you receive before you’re out cold. 

Everything hurt.

Your head pounds, and you feel nauseous. A slap across your face wakes you up, and you find yourself tied to a chair, nude, and... 

“No...” you managed to whimper, shaking violently. Not only was this the same thing, but these men- they were the same as all those years ago. You thought you’d become strong enough that you wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore.

“When Daki told us she had demon slayers comin’, we never thought you’d be one of them. Guess that’s lucky for us then, eh?” The largest one laughed, grabbing your hair and forcing your gaze up. Your whole body shook violently, your mind trying to force itself to shut down. 

“Screw you,” you spat, your voice trembling too much for it to be taken seriously. A harsh punch to your stomach sent the chair backwards, and you land on your back, the wind knocked out of your lungs.

Their dirty hands all over you, defiling you, touching you, grabbing at you-

“What was that, sweetheart?”

Not again. Not again. Not again- A loud thud and muffled screaming of a woman echoed from upstairs, not that it mattered to you. Your scream joined hers as a knife entered your shoulder, tears streaming down your face. “You like that, eh?” He licked the wound, grinning like a madman. As his hand reached towards your most intimate region, the door slammed open, Tanjiro standing there looking as livid as ever.

“Get away from them before I break every bone in your body!” His sword still bloodied from what could only be presumed to be a demon, the men laughed, cracking their knuckles. Their hands morphed into claws, and the man- demon?- beside you growled angrily at him. Within mere moments, each of their heads lie on the floor as they disintegrated. 

Tanjiro was instantly beside you, untying you and wrapping his haori around you. The room smelled of sage and rain, with only a few traces of demon blood making their way through it. Simply by your scent, his heart broke as he tried to help you calm down. You couldn’t breath, you couldn’t think- 

Your fear and sorrow filled the room with a scent so strong Tanjiro found himself fighting tears. He wrapped his arms around you slowly, and you clung to him, burying your face into his shoulder. 

“It’s alright; I’m right here, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

__________________________________________________

~Slight time skip to  when they arrive at the Wisteria estate~

__________________________________________________

You were in a daze, and unresponsive. Tanjiro felt fear pulse through his veins as he sits your fragile form onto a chair in a bathroom to get you cleaned up. Once you were clean, he helped you change into nightwear, your being too dazed to respond. It was as if you were dead to the world.

After taking you to your own separate room, he guided you to the bed and sat beside you, taking in a shaky breath. “If you need anything, come and get me, alright?” He tried to smile, but your expression remained blank. He stood up, turning out the lights and leaving the room. 

That night, and the next week, Tanjiro didn’t sleep well. You were unresponsive, not matter how hard he tried to make you laugh, no matter how hard he tried to make you smile, to make you speak- nothing.

As the usual had become, he guided you to your room, telling you that you could come and get him if you needed him, and shutting the door after. This time, however, Tanjiro sat outside the door, and placed his head in his hands. “I should’ve told her.. I should’ve been there with her.. I should’ve-” He choked on his words, and the tears flowed freely down his cheeks. 

He wasn’t sure how long it would take to help you heal- but he wanted to be there as best as he could be. 

You don’t leave the one you love when they need you the most.

#demon slayer #kamado tanjirō #tanjiro #Nezuko #kamado tanjiro x reader #x reader #x reader angst #angst

[jmalkki]

From head canon to on-screen reality 

Episode 6 of Season 3. You, guys.

My. Goodness.

What oddly specific joy.

One has secretly hoped a scene of this nature to eventually make it onto the show, and the promo images promised it was coming now. So, one went in expecting to finally see on screen the sweet sweet scene of the couple all domestic, chilling on their bed, sharing thoughts; the one one has imagined so many times in various forms, be it in text or in illustrations. Seemingly topped with a kiss, as well -  gorgeous for the unremarkable mundanity of itself, without any story points or grand gestures tied to it.

Though the promo image promised kiss was not to be seen, what the domestically set scene itself delivered in substance was such a validating treat one could not feel one bit amiss; something one couldn’t have expected, hoped for, or imagined to come worth.

The end scenes of the episode made some major personal head canons true on screen! Namely the fact of Paul immediately recognizing the nature of one talking by oneself as if to a lost loved one, and admitting carrying Hugh similarly with him after Dear Doctor’s death. And, the fact, that both of the men hate the augmentations on Paul’s arms.

Seemingly tiny things perhaps, but these have both been some of the most persistent themes in my past writing of these two. And much as I abhor to go back to my past scribbles, I felt compelled to quickly go through whole of the Honey Mushroom series, and collect below all of the narratives focused on Paul talking to Hugh in his mind, and the instances mentioning the shared bother of the spore drive augmentations.

Which now suddenly as if offer possible context for the on-screen dialogue:

“God, I hated those things.” “I hated them more.”  

I realize this is quite individual a glee, specific to curious personal head canon nuggets (and perhaps to those who might’ve enjoyed the nuggets / nursed any similar own ideas), but I am beyond ecstatic for those nuggets to have now made it on screen and/or fit into the canon, complementary to the narrative!

How ever coincidental, I think one must thank at least Anne Cofell Saunders, the writer of the episode, for including these specific allusions / plot directions, and in doing so making reality of one’s particular head canons. And, that gratitude must also be extended to anyone else, who might’ve been involved in what ever capacity in the process of bringing these into the show’s in-universe reality.

Feels like such an immense affirmation of one’s year(s) spent passionately imagining these unmentioned-in-canon dimensions (regardless how ever fumblingly). Such joy to see these once dearly envisioned behind-the-scenes aspects brought on screen, and into the canon.

More small, but notable glees: Paul’s PADD on the nightstand. And the men sleeping on the ‘correct’ sides of the bed, which has also been a theme in exploring the character of Paul.  (And, in fact, Paul scratching the augmentations/residuals, too *heehee*).

Okay. Let’s go.

Passages of the augmentations being a bother:

From my second ever narrative, and the first to mention the augmentations, if not yet for the precise shared discomfort factor. Also the first to feature Paul talking to Hugh after the death:

[He shifted on the chair and reached for his forearm. Feeling out the hard plastic augmentation with his fingers. Rubbing it in a circular motion on top of his muscles, letting the gentle pressure push against his bones.

They were another reason - the augmentations - why he had felt so bare at the gym dressing rooms. He had only ever really bared them in the engineering for their designed purpose, and with Hugh around in the sickbay or in the confinements of their quarters. He had showed them to few others of course on occasion, but on his own discretion. He wasn’t comfortable letting them ‘hang out’ like he had just done. It too left him feeling exposed.

“They keep insisting I go in for a medical examination”, Paul muttered out quietly, while skimming through his calendar, like he was expecting Hugh - his resident consultant on all things medical - to actually answer.]

- We Are Undone, But Soldier On

From my only ‘alternative future’ story, with the first ever allusion to the shared discomfort with the apparatus. Also the narrative, which solidified the idea of Paul harboring Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind well after the death:

[ Paul smiled. He put his hand in his hair again, mussed it around a bit, adjusting it from side to side, observing it closely from the mirror. “And you won’t mind this either?” He asked with a faint look of apprehension on his face, “it’s still getting thinner and thinner each year.” “You know I always loved that”, Hugh spoke to him with most affectionate tone, as Paul could feel fingers play with the little swirl of thinning hair on the back of his head, “it makes you look irresistibly manly.”

“Like these”, Hugh continued, as Paul raised his arms in front of himself, displaying the thick, fluffy white hair covering his forearms, “I love falling asleep into this softness.” “Well, you’re in luck then. They sure aren’t thinning any”, Paul snickered, “I think the hair on my head might be migrating there in fact”. He could hear Hugh chuckle and felt a light encouraging pat on his hips.

Paul turned away from the mirror and walked slowly to the small kitchen cabin in the corner of the room. “Always hated shaving any of that off for those spore drive ports, just so you know.” he could hear Hugh’s voice commenting back at him. Paul was replicating his morning drink. “You won’t mind me saying then, how glad I was to get those off eventually”, Paul conversed in his head as he watched the replicator form a cup of tea.

“Of course not, Mushroom”, Hugh sounded to respond from the bed, “we’ve been through this many times. You don’t need to feel sorry for getting rid of those.”

“Yeah…” Paul muttered as he walked back to the room with a fresh cup of tea in his hands, “it just felt then like I was throwing something of you away”, he thought sitting down on the bed, “I know it’s silly.”

“It is. You know I wasn’t too keen on those things ‘hogging’ your arms either”, Hugh let out a little laugh, “and you really haven’t thrown any of me away.”

Paul looked sheepishly down to his tea. He knew what was coming.

“Don’t you think you should?” Hugh asked with a slight hint of worry in his voice.]

- Becalmed

A short, based solely on the premise of the discomfort of the augmentations:

[ Hugh wakes up to it again. To Paul’s arm wrapping around him. Dang, it used to be one of the best feelings in the mornings to wake in the safety of his Honey Mushroom’s manly arms. Now, there’s often this unforeseen complication. And Hugh has in part himself to blame for it too.

“Mushroom”, Hugh tries to carefully arouse the sleeping man’s attention by shaking him a little. He gets no response.

“Honey, can you move your arm a bit”, Hugh tries a little louder and attempts to wiggle himself from the man’s grip, but Paul just mumbles something in his sleep and won’t move. The arm wants to hold on to Hugh. Dammit. He loves it, but just not like this.

“Paul!” Hugh makes no attempt to discretion anymore, “will you let go of me!”

“What!?” Paul wakes up shouting irately at the abrupt wake-up call.

“Your damn augmentation is boring into my hip again”, Hugh lets the understandably agitated response get to him and snaps back in equal tone, which is far more harsh than necessary.

“Well, who the fuck’s fault is it, it’s there!?” Paul huffs back, fiercely as only provoked Paul would - even when half asleep, like he is right now.

“I know, I know. And you’re very welcome, by the way”, Hugh sneers, “just move it”.

“Fine!” Paul scoffs and yanks his arm to his own side of the bed, turning his back to Hugh as he does so. Hugh turns back to face his side as well.

The doctor then immediately feels regret for having gotten so agitated. He’s upset for the situation - lamenting over losing those comfy arms for the good of this ship -, not mad at the man.

How difficult for the man himself it must be to adjust? And Paul hasn’t once complained. Oddly so.

Hugh had just let his own less than satisfactory wake-up ruin Mushroom’s morning as well, hadn’t he?

“I’m sorry, Paul”, Hugh turns to look at the man over his shoulder,  "I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not upset with you".

“I know”, Paul’s sleepy voice sounds faintly somewhere behind the man’s back. He’s not turning back around.

Hugh worries his outburst might scare Paul to thinking twice before embracing him again. And he loves his cuddly Paul.

“Of course you’re still welcome to snuggle”, Hugh assures Paul, letting the regret sound in his voice.

But the man doesn’t hear him, he’s fast asleep again. And Hugh’s bed feels that much emptier without the safety of his man’s arms around him.]

- Losing Your Arms

From one, which references events referenced on screen, namely the introduction of the (preliminary) augmentations by revealing them installed on Paul’s arms:

[ Maybe it had indeed been but a dream after all. Like all of this. Perhaps like all the other times he remembers too. Those instances when they had been somewhere quite surprising - and admittedly quite exciting -, getting distracted by each other from their intended tasks.

Like, when at the Medbay, setting up these brand new spore drive ports on his arms, for a brief stolen moment before the evening shift had arrived to relief Hugh.

Indeed, occasionally he had been back as they were in the middle of hurriedly moving that task to their quarters to follow up on those distractions. Like they must have done just now, judging from the state in which their clothes lay scattered around the room and by the selection of tools haphazardly laid on the coffee table next to them. Like they ever really had any intention to use those once here on this couch.

Paul regards the augmentations on his forearms.

He’s getting a lot of extra orientation practice to the devices through these repeats however, Paul muses. Would Hugh notice anything? Will Mushroom have hard time explaining to the doctor after all of this, how he’s so well adjusted to these things so soon after installation?

He realizes this right now as he catches himself cursing them, positioning his arms so that the ports wouldn’t chafe against their bare skins. Is it too late to rethink these apparatus?]

- Come Again

From one, where Paul regards the augmentations at Hugh’s wake:

[ Paul remembers wrapping his arms around that waist each and every night.

He shifts his arms. The spore drive ports on his forearms, beneath the layers of sleeves, suddenly feel so alien again right then.

It’s not his first time in civilian clothing with them (thanks to his insistence on own comfort wear out of the uniform), but it is the first time with them off duty, since he’s off the ship. And they feel grossly out of place in these Earthly settings.

Hugh too had come to dislike them - his own invention - as soon as it had become apparent how they were an obstruction between their embraces.

Paul should get them removed, if they’ll no longer serve a purpose.

He takes his hands out of the pockets, folds his arms over his chest and goes back to staring across the room with what must appear quite a stern look.]

- Honoring One’s Heart

There was also one about the conceiving of the idea of the augmentations, where, however, the bother factor was not yet in sight:

Doctor, Not an Engineer

And this one, which doesn’t technically count for similar 'shared bother’ reasons either, perhaps, but is a whole narrative very much build around the inconvenience of the augmentations:

Performance Issues

Plus, couple saucy ones, which I won’t list here, lest I actually ever want to share this post *ha* More below:

While at it, (and, perhaps more importantly) here are the narratives build around the idea fact (!!) of Paul living with Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind after the death - in narrative order (some already featured above, too). Hardly captured by a single quote, but for a taste:

[ He had finally heard it. The voice. Hugh’s voice trying to calm him down, “Paul. You need to let yourself be upset. You need to let the tears come.” ]

- We Are Undone, But Soldier On

[ ‘Honey? Are you drunk?’

A delightful, relieved curiosity filled Paul’s mind momentarily as he peered into the darkness of the room wide-eyed, to see where the gentle, familiar voice calling him out was coming from.

Then he remembered, and with a loud, derisive scoff sank back into his darkened state of mind, slumping back down on the couch.

“So fucking what!? If I am.” ]

- A Better Man

[ None of this should matter. Not the suit, not the event, not the crowd. Paul is not here, and Hugh is not gone. Not yet anyway. They are still very much together, and just about to leave somewhere off by themselves, once done with this circus. To enjoy each others’ company somewhere away from all of this dreary pretend. Such a presentation, and for whose sake? “You don’t mind, if I’m not honoring you in accordance to the Fleet standards, do you?” He still gets no response. Hugh hasn’t talked to him since Paul disembarked that cursed ship. He’s still here though, isn’t he? Paul would surely feel it, if the man left.]

- Honoring One’s Heart

[ “Yes. We are too damn young to be thinking about retiring yet.” Paul said and turned to look by his side instinctively, only to see there was really no-one there, of course. He let out a little huff and smiled to himself. Then turned back to face the beach in front of him, and paused to think again. “It will surely be painful to be near it all on the Discovery”, his mind went on, “but I’m not quite ready yet to let go of what we had there either”. “Our only home together?” Hugh came back beside him. “Our first home together”, Paul specified, “so far…"]

- First Home

[  “Dear, I’m home”. He can just imagine himself standing there at the door of their cabin, staring into the empty, cold room that used to be. All the pleasant memories now tainted. How exactly will this be helping him to get over? “But please, do remind me again”, Paul whispers to himself, and hears a heavy, sympathetic sigh in reply, as if preparing itself for telling him of all the ways he’s doing the right thing to move on, and how it’s proud of him for not giving up, and how it supports him, and all that fucking sentimental nonsense, it’s had to tell him already, over and over. And which yet Paul needs to hear. To keep faith. To not forget. ]

- Watching Over You

[  “Hmh”, Paul shrugs, taking in the thought, suddenly a slight twinkle in his eyes, “…but I have too much ‘unbridled passion’ you say?” he then yields, disregarding his persistent gravity, as he apprehensively turns his playful smirk at Hugh, readying himself for this blessed dream to end short. But the man stays here. Startlingly, staring right back at Paul’s surprised gaze with almost haunting clarity. Paul’s grip on the newly corporeal man tightens in a moment of incredulity. For the first time in weeks - but which feels like a year - Paul is able to see the man, to look into those loving eyes again, bathe in that radiant smile, and respond to all of the emotions he now thirstily reads from the man’s beautiful face. And fuck, if there aren’t tears on Paul’s own. The man really is right here.]

- Passion of a Vulcan Like Mind

[ He could feel Hugh’s gaze on himself. “You realize, you actually wanted me gone today?”, he heard Hugh speak out gently, “I got in your way”.

Paul’s smile turned to an anguished frown. The tone of understanding in Hugh’s voice hurt him. “Never”, he attested firmly. He lay there as still as possible, staring at the ceiling, afraid to move too much, or turn to glance at his side, lest it chased away this sensation of Hugh beside him.

“You are being stubborn again, Mushroom”, Hugh whispered with a hint of worry in his voice, “why do you still cling on so desperately?”. He was so close Paul could almost feel the breath on him - or was that the sea breeze perhaps - “You said you’d be okay, if I left - why won’t you let me then?”]

- Becalmed (alt)

#star trek discovery #culmets #paul stamets #hugh culber #space boos #spaceboos #star trek #head canon

[sweetestlamb]

Touch My Heart Part 2

Summary: Baby come back, you can blame it all on me. Or how to get your man back using bath soaps. 

She has to cry silently, let her heart crack and splinter in silence because she doesn't want to explain her tears to Hong Yeon or Court Lady Choi. She should have expected nothing, should have known the King would want the one he truly fell in love with. But she'd still hoped, wished, dreamed selfishly that he would accept her and her feelings.

That he would beg and plead with her to stay, would declare that he loved her too. She knew that wasn't the case but still her useless heart had been holding out, only to be shredded apart when his eyes revealed how much he missed Jang Bong Hwan. It wasn't fair for either of them, she couldn't be a replacement and he would be forever longing. They would live eternally in limbo, that was no life worth living.

It was a fool's dream, she'd thrown away her chance when she jumped into the lake drowning both her desires and ambitions. She thought filling his shoes would be doable, some of his quirks and behaviors had left a lasting impact on her soul and they had many hobbies in common. But they weren't the same, maybe cut from a similar quilt but the patchwork was too intricate to be replicated.

So she cries, gasping sobs that rattle her bones and wreck her lungs; for the life she couldn't have and for the pain she knows the chef must be going through. If she was this heartbroken at the thought of being without the King, he must be crushed; soul and spirit pulverized to dusty remains.

Sleep comes to her painstakingly, her eyes so raw and red that even the act of closing them hurts and she twists and turns all night until the sandman pulls her under.

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"Hong Yeon-ah, you have been loyal to me since the day I was brought here." The young court maid looks at her with a puzzled smile at her sudden reminiscing, but nods as if she's used to her oddities by now, barely pausing her actions.

"Yes, you're highness. You are always most important to me. I will be loyal to you until the end. And when your child is born, I shall be loyal to them as well." Hong Yeon smiles sweetly at her whilst gently brushing her hair, putting fragrant powder on the roots as she twists her hair into braids.

"I will always cherish you."

"Your highness?" The court maid stops braiding her thick hair, peering into her eyes inquisitively through the mirror. "Why are you speaking as if you will not be here with me?"

She forces a content smile, having now accepted what she just do for herself, the King and most importantly Jang Bong Hwan, the one who saved them all.

"I might be going on a faraway trip, don't look for me. Just care for my baby and take care of the King." She can tell that the younger woman has many questions on her mind but mostly she seems...saudade; she understands more than she wants to and she's sad but she knows the Queen well enough to know why she must do this.

"I too, will always cherish you. I hope we meet again and I can be by your side once more, it was my greatest achievement."

She hugs the court maid, no her close friend probably one of her best friends. Remembering how eagerly she would follow her around, becoming her confidant and supporter as she found her footing in the palace.

"I hope I meet you in another life." She whispers into Hong Yeon's trembling head, embracing tighter because this is her last time.

The others are not as perceptive as Hong Yeon, but she does notice tears lingering in Court Lady Choi's eyes before she blinks them away.

"Thank you for always nagging me, it made me feel like I finally had a mother. I hope you can find your own happiness now." She knowingly looks over at the royal kitchen, making the older woman blush and turn away.

"Are you going to be okay?" She thinks about the question, and she smiles as she answers, "Yes. I'm going to be happy, I will make sure of it this time." She now knows that she has the power to do so, nothing can control her life besides her.

She sends for her father, hugging him tightly despite his apparent confusion. He's been all she's had for so long, it's her hardest goodbye of all. He will never know she's gone but she will mourn his loss until she takes her last breath.

"Father, I love you. I know everything you did was for my future, I know you made mistakes along the way but I couldn't have asked for a better father. In another life I want to be your daughter again." She cries into his shoulder, childishly gripping the bottom of his robe like she did when she was young and had a nightmare.

He looks at her with wet eyes and a huge grin, chuckling before rubbing her belly and showing her all the new gifts he's brought for his grandchild. She smiles and listens, soaking up all his love and warmth to keep her warm on those lonely days.

Later that night, she presses her palm to her stretched skin she's barely showing now only a minor bump under her clothes. But she can feel the life inside of her, her sweet baby.

"My baby, know that I loved you. That I would do anything to protect you. Please be good to them and have a happy life. I hope we too will meet in another life, you are blessed to have two mothers who adore you. Never want for anything." When she feels light taps at her belly, she grips her belly tighter.

She has no regrets, it's time.

The next day, she goes through her day as expected. Letting her servants serve her and enjoying the breeze from the lake, she takes in the majesty of her life and smiles at the sky.

When night falls, she stealthily rises from her bed donning only socks on her feet to make her steps undetectable, she's already said her goodbyes so there is nothing keeping her back now. Only her fears but she's stronger than she was before, there's no turning back now.

The lake glistens remarkably under the mystical glow of the moon, calling to her like a siren. The water sloshes as she steps into it, hissing at the cold that prickles at her skin before her body adjusts. She keeps walking until the water buoys her off her feet and licks at her collarbone, taking a deep gulp of the night air she plunges her head under the watery sheet. Water burns her lungs as she loses the ability to breathe, resisting her bodies urge to escape.

This time is different, this time she's here to live.

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He goes through the motions of life, but everything feels like a chore. He quits his job, deciding to open a a small restaurant with his savings. His restaurant instantly becomes a fan favorite because of his delicious flavors and affordable prices, he also takes to cooking at a soup kitchen on the weekends. There's a young girl whose innocent smile reminds him of Dam Hyang, he always gives her extra meat with a wink.

That's the only thing brings him joy these days, he had so desperately wanted to be back and now, now he was miserable.

What had he been missing so much? His body? His job? Technology? All of it meant nothing now, it couldn't fill the void in his heart. Nights are the hardest, sleep is elusive and his thoughts race thinking about them- how were they living without him? Was his Cheoljongie able to fall asleep? Did Court Lady Choi and the head chef make it official? Was Hong Yeon doing well? Did they even notice that he was no longer in the body of the Queen or was he already forgotten?

Did he mean anything to them or was he easily replaced by Soyong? Those thoughts haunt him daily and he starts drinking, blacking out every night in a stupor just trying to turn off his brain. But that does nothing to soothe the ache.

He tries to find comfort in others.

Finding willing partners is easy, women throw themselves at him but he's more thoughtful now, no longer seeing them as conquests. He remembers their names and cooks them breakfast in the morning, but he still feels hollow like all of his innards have been scrapped out with a jagged spoon.

So he sleeps with men, gets fucked hard into his bed stifling his moans into pillows trying to feel something, anything. But being taken does nothing, he's still empty even while stuffed full. Nothing compares to him, everyone else falls short and it makes him crazy; he has to move on. One night stand after one stand does nothing to abate the emptiness he feels.

Spending time with his mother brings him solace, she's older so he has to care for her but it's not a chore, he's happy to.

"You seem different these days." He hums as he bathes her, swiping a soapy loofah across her shoulders and wetting her short thin hair.

"How so?" He hasn't mentioned anything to her or anyone, there's no way anyone would believe his story. Sometimes he wonders if it was all a vivid dream that he created to deal with his coma but the proof is in the history book, the one he keeps on his bed side table. A reminder that it was real, that he's not crazy. It's both grounding and soul crushing.

"You're waiting for something." She answers mysteriously, eyes sliding shut as he tips her head back to wash out the shampoo.

He doesn't reply. He's not waiting for anything, there's nothing coming. This is his life now. He's just waiting for the end.

After putting his mother to sleep, he travels back home his body aching, tight from lifting another human. Mentally fatigued from suppressing his feelings all day.

He watches idly as the water fills up the tub, his fingers dancing across the surface before he stops the flow squirting a honey scented bubble bath until the water is foamy. He undresses dropping his clothes carelessly on the ground before dipping one toe into the bath, he groans at the welcoming heat letting the water envelop him fully.

The bubbles tickle his nose as he sits in the tub, his muscles slowly relaxing under the luscious heat. It feels nice. He should be content, he's able to take a warm bath in his lavish apartment that should be enough to raise his spirits.

Tears start pouring from his eyes, he hadn't let himself cry that day that feels like a lifetime ago. Had sucked up all his sadness and loneliness and pushed them in a corner of his mind, but now the corner is exploding and he can't control his emotions. All his walls are crumbling in his mind.

He sobs, choking on air and wiping at the moisture on his face but they are falling too quick for him to catch and he starts to hiccup.

"I'll never see them again. Hong Yeon, Court Lady Choi, head chef, Cheoljong, my baby! It's like I never existed, why did this happen to me? I never asked for any of this!" He screams at his ceiling, he's never been a religious person not wanting to put that much trust in an intangible being in the sky, but if there is some omnipresent being, he curses them for punishing him.

"Why me?" He pounds at the water, shouting when soap splashes back hitting him in the eye. Flailing and attempting to rub it out, he's unaware of how close he is to his shower caddy until his hand hits the metal contraption, causing the suction cup adhering it to the wall to lift and the caddy precariously dangles before loosening and crashing down. Pain explodes in his temple before he slides into the water, excess leaking over the edge and onto the floor. Soapy water fills his lungs until he loses consciousness, everything fading to darkness.

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"Jang Bong Hwan! Wake up! Open your eyes."

A familiar voice penetrates the foggy cloud in his brain, as he struggles to clear mind.

"Please! Wake up. This may be our only chance!"

The voice pleads with him, he feels wispy threads weaving around his mind and finally he starts to force his eyes open, willing his body to follow his commands.

Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP!!

Bursting free of his prison, he jolts awake looking around wildly shocked to see himself submerged in water far deeper than his tub is capable of holding, everything feels familiar. Eerily so.

Then he glances in front of him and a face he's grown so used to seeing is peering back at him.

"Kim Soyong?" He barely whispers, certain he's having a ridiculously vivid dream.

"This isn't a dream. I've been waiting for you."

He stares at her in shock, in complete disbelief about the situation. What the fuck was going on??

"What the fuck is going on?" He voices his thought, watching as she smiles and swims closer to him.

"I'm bringing you back. I'm giving you back this body." She states confidently, taking his world and knocking it upside down.

"What are you talking about? Everything is back to the way it should be, the King loves you. History changed. Everything is as it should be." He squashes the desperate hope that blooms at her words, nothing was that simple. It simply wasn't their fate to be together.

"Is that how you truly feel? Is everything as it should be? Are you happy?"

Happy. That feeling is foreign to him now. But he has accepted his fate, he was able to help his King that was enough.

"I helped him. That's enough. I can't ask for anything more." He answers honestly, resolve melting as he thinks of his King and his smile.

"He loves you. I thought what I felt for him was love but I know the difference now, love is earned. You earned his love."

The tears start again, he looks at her lost. He doesn't know what to do.

"But you deserve to be happy too. I know everything you went through, I felt it too. I can't let you die because of me, I want you to live Soyong." He cries heart aching for the woman in front of him, she only ever did what she thought she had to. If someone had truly been there for her without any motives, this could have been different.

"I do deserve happiness too." She agrees and his heart jumps because this is it, he'll truly never see Cheoljong again.

"But I won't get it in this universe." Blinking through his tears he stares at her, a sad accepting smile on her face.

"I will always live in your shadows. That is not a true life, I want a fresh start. I deserve a live of my own without any regrets." She swims closer until they are face to face, nose barely grazing as she carresses his cheeks. It's clear what she intends to do, her lips moving closer until only millimeters separate them.

"Take care of him and our baby." She whispers before closing the gap, warm lips pressing against his and then he feels a sharp tug from the center of his stomach lurching him forward and then suddenly backwards.

He's only able to get out two words, "Thank you." Before he's plunged into darkness again.

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He swirls in a sea of nothing for what feels like eternity, locked somewhere he can't escape. He wanders and wanders trying to remember who he is and where he is? The darkness is unchanging and he feels smothered by it, running only to end up back at the same spot. But then he hears a sound, something soft and sweet. A voice, a voice he recognizes but he doesn't know how.

Who is that?

Where am I?

Those questions spin around and around in his head, vicious cycle that leaves him feeling no closer to the truth or the end.

Then he hears another voice, louder and deeper. It's pleading and pained, his heart aches for the agony he can feel and then he feels a sensation, a distant touch and suddenly a door opens in the darkness, light pours into the once desolate room and he rushes to the door, chasing the light. Needing to be closer to that voice and that touch.

His head is throbbing, opening his eyes feels like a splitting headache but he pushes through the pain desperate to see where is he. His eyes are burning but he forces his heavy lids up and sunlight floods his vision, making him wince and shut them once more.

"My Queen?"

It can't be. No. He's dreaming.

He feels a hand wrap around his own, completely cocooning it.

"My Queen! You're finally awake!" The King cries, relief emitting off his body as he clutches him to his chest. His hot tears landing on the thin material covering his shoulder.

Throat scratchy and aching he licks his lips before speaking, "Cheoljongie?"

Immediately the King freezes in his arms, it's so quiet he can hear the crickets outside chirping loudly. The King slowly leans back, his eyes darting all over his face with something that looks like nervous wonder.

"What did you call me?" He whispers, his eyes wide.

"Cheoljongie!" He screams suddenly throwing himself into his King's arms, which are loose at first but then they become rib straining tight but he doesn't care, he needs this hug more than he needs air.

The King breaks them apart grabbing his face ardently, "Is it really you? Jang Bong Hwan?" His name sounds foreign on his tongue and now it's his turn to be speechless.

"You kn-kn-know my name? You know who I am?" He stutters incredulously, feeling the tears streaming from his eyes but this time doing nothing to stop them.

"I know everything. I know you're a man from the future, you were telling the truth. You always told me the truth."

He feels steamrolled, pressed out and flattened by this discovery. He knew that and he was still here hugging him? It didn't make sense.

"How do you feel? About the truth?" It's not an easy question to ask but he needs to know the answer, there are in a different time now. Cheoljong hadn't said such when he had explained to him that sexuality was more fluid in the future, people were allowed to express themselves in many ways. There was no right or wrong way to love.

It was a nice sentiment, but this was a Joseon period. Everything was different here.

"I love you."

He's not expecting that answer and he stares with his mouth open, feeling himself being drawn into a tighter hug his small body slotting perfectly into Cheoljong's. It's unnerving and familiar being this much smaller than him again.

"I love you so much. I don't care what form you take, I'll love you every single time." He growls the last words, rumbling between their bodies.

He's never said these words out loud to anyone but his mother, but he knows that he means it. He's never wanted to say them to anyone before but now he can't wait, he's bursting with it.

"I love you too. Life was empty without you, I was walking in an endless desert. You are my oasis." They stare at each other passionately, the King's fingers warm on his cheeks as he clutches at his royal robes. They gravitate towards each other as their lips meet and the universe rights itself. He moans at the sensation of having his King's lips back on his, the kiss tethers into frantic in mere seconds. All of their longing and heartache colluding as they slam into each other.

Their tongue slide and twist around each other, he nibbles at the King's lip letting him lick at his open mouth gasping as a hand grips the nape of his neck.

He grabs the King's hair pulling him closer so he can plunge his tongue deeper, swallowing his hardy groans and letting some breathy moans escape from his bruised lips. It's going to take some getting used to, being so slight once more, whimpering as the King easily manhandles him pushing him back onto the bedding and bracketing him in his powerful arms.

The move knocks his head into the floor, momentarily dazing him as a soft "Oof," falls from his lips.

The King reacts immediately, drawing away with concern pouring from his face.

"I apologize my Que...en I was too eager, you've just woken from a vegetative state. Now is not the appropriate time for such.... activities. I will control myself." He notices the King's hesitation as he pauses while saying the title which has become something more for them.

"It's okay. You can still call me that it means too much to me now and I don't want you to be careful. I've spent all this time feeling alone and empty, trying to find other," now he hesitates and the King's eyes widen and then scowl in comprehension, "Means to feel alive. It was all futile, nothing compared to you."

The declaration does little to douse the jealousy he can feel surging off his King, he almost purrs in response. Excited. Electrified.

"I will make you forget about all others. My name is the only that will fall from these lips," Cheoljong rubs a large thumb across the his full bottom lip, seductively. "I missed you so much and I'll show you just how much."

"I spent so much time hoping to get back to my dragon, only to miss yours too much to enjoy my own. It's sad isn't it?" He pouts reaching out boldly to grab the King's thick cock peeking through his layers.

The King smirks, crawling over him before lifting up his dress easily and lowering his undergarments with a swift tug.

"My dragon missed you immensely, it's time to get reacquainted. " Cheoljong warns before slipping into his body without preamble, he shouts and tightens at the intrusion.

Every cell in his body feels alive and buzzing.

They get acquainted all night, into the wee hours of the morning hoarse shouts filling Daejajoen hall as all the court ladies blush and cover their faces bashfully. Hong Yeon smiles knowingly at Court Lady Choi, both with matching 'earmuffs' the Queen had gifted them long ago.

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"Mr. Jang, can you hear me? Mr. Jang?" She struggles to regain conscious as a light is shined into both of her eyes, blinking wildly she turns her head away trying to escape the bright glare.

"I apologize. I had to check your pupils. How are you feeling? You've been in a coma for three days. We were very worried since you had been comatose just a month prior. It's not good for the human brain to be in that state several times." She listens absently to the doctor(?) too fascinated by all the unfamiliar things surrounding her.

There's a strange machine beeping away next to her and something attached to her arm, her eyes bulge at her arm, it is larger thick with muscles she's never had before. She flexes and watches entranced as her arm gets even bigger.

"Mr.Jang, are you okay?" Finally she glances over at the feminine voice, clipped and professional but a tinge of genuine concern.

She's gorgeous, a round face and wide almond eyes that are scanning something in her hands, she has thick hair that is held up in a topknot with tendrils framing her face and her lips are succulent and rosy red, she feels blood rushing to her nether regions. When the doctor notices her staring she puts down the thing in her hands, to meet her gaze head on.

"Mr. Jang?" She finally realizes that's her name, Jang Bong Hwan.

"What's your name?" She feels compelled to ask as if this is the most important question she'll ever utter, something tugs in her stomach as they stare at each other.

"Dr. Won Beom."

She smiles.

Author's note: This will be my canon moving forward in my future untouchable updates, I'll also be incorporating a love story behind Director Hong and Kim Hwan because they are the sweetest beans and I feel like they can get great advice on their relationship from our King and Queen. 🥴😉 I was very selfish with this fix-it I don't want to let go of my Joseon family, so we're staying here instead. 

#mr.queen #queen cheorin #king cheoljong #kim soyong #jang bong hwan #sobong #mad homo #as it was intended #bath tub time travel #science #no touch princess

[danicarosaline]

Just My Type | JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader | Ch. 1

Summary: You may perhaps have this tiny attraction to a certain flirty pogue that works for your step dad. All the while your mother is trying to set you up with boys who she thinks are your type.

Authors Note: hello my loves heres chapter one💛 i’d like to apologise for saying the readers face went red from blushing in the Prologue! Im gonna remove mentioning that from my fics so my women of colour will avoid cringing! Instead of using sentences like that, im gonna use the words “cheeks heating up” because anyone can physically feel that happening to them!

Also- this gon’ be a slooow burn (; hope y’all like it🥺🦋✨

Laying face down in your pillow in a plank position, you twist your head towards your balcony when you hear the faint sound of the lawn mower running outside. You sprung up from the Queen sized bed and walk towards your full body mirror to check your reflection.

Not quite liking what you see though so you rush to the bathroom quickly to wash your face and apply a bit of moisturiser to your pretty skin to get that glowly “hey i woke up like this” look. You cringe at the glimpse of your hair. Looking like a lion whose sleeping schedule got rudely interrupted. You start to ease your crazy hair into place with your hands to try and smoothen it out. Throwing up gang signs(peace signs) in the mirror afterwards once done, feeling yourself. Yep, good enough.

Putting on your favourite silk robe (just to be extra) you start to make your way towards the balcony door, sliding it open and walking out slowly. Feeling the morning sun on your skin, you sigh in comfort and flutter your eyes closed. Trying to casually seem like you just wanna get some air and not a certain pretty blond boy’s attention. You throw your hands up in the air, stretching as you do and then smoothly running your ring clad hands to your hair. After a few minutes of trying to look cute by flipping your hair around, you purposely fail to notice the eyes that has gazed upon you.

“Looking beautiful as always Miss L/N!”

Eyes widen and casting down at the familiar voice, you tilt your head and give a kind smile to the foreign man who isn’t the blond boy you thought that was mowing your lawn this morning. Lifting up your right arm to give a wave to the man below you. “Hey there sir Chrisanto! How’ve you been? How’s the wife Miss Marisol?” You ask curiously.

Though you are just a tad bit disappointed to see someone else doing the blond’s every friday—morning job, you can’t help but feel joy at seeing the middle aged man with the funny mostache beeming up at you with the sweetest smile on his face. Chrisanto is one of the best, most dedicated worker you know and has been working for your stepfather for almost 20 years now.

Your step father’s respect for Chrisanto has grown consistently over the years for the man’s kind demeanour, loyalty and the amazing job he does to your lawn and garden. Without him, the outside front and outside back of your house wouldn’t be as impressive as it would’ve been.

Chrisanto is also the reason why that handsome blond works for your dad aswell. The blond was recommended by Chrisanto to take over the days he couldn’t make it to work because of some back problems that he’a gained through the years of over working for other people. Knowing this, your parents make sure Chrisanto gets plenty of breaks and days off, thus calling in the younger male to take over the shifts of Chrisanto’s.

“Oh you know, bitchy as always!” The man lets out a loud laugh at his own joke which you can’t help but laugh too.

“She still complaining bout’ that knee?”

“Everytime dear, everytime” he sighs with a shake of his head and a little smile to his face to the thought of his beautiful, whiny wife annoying him every morning about her knee.

“Do not marry yet Y/N! You too young, too young” he hollers at you with a wave of his hand.

“Damn sir Chrisanto if only you warned me that sooner, a wedding for me is already being planned by my mum as we speak!” You holler back at him.

“Who the future husband? Blondie?” He cackles at the weird expression you made with your face. Oh he definitely knows about your crush on the blond. He was young and inlove once too. He saw the way you stumbled on your words when he conversed with you and your step father, and the attention not being on him, but on the boy who was cutting away at a bush in the back yard.

You tried to joke with Chrisanto during that time but was so distracted by the pretty blond fellow you just couldn’t form a proper sentence and Chrisanto knew what was up. Eventually snapping out of it when your step father asked if you were okay.

“Chrisanto you play too much man! but hey ill catch you later yes?” Making your way back inside your room, your actions came to a halt when he suddenly said-

“Okay see you later Mrs Maybank!” Turning around abruptly you begin to ask who?? But his attention is already back to mowing the lawn, the loud sound of the lawn mower cutting off your voice from reaching his ears. Shrugging it off, you walk away. Keeping in mind to ask him about that later.

————————————————————-

“That was your second bowl of cereal honey are you okay?” Your mother asks, slight concern written all over her face. Placing the empty bowl in the sink, you place your hands on your hips and grin at her.

“Ah yes, now its time for pancakes!” You cheer whilst doing a little dance. She gives you an eyeroll at your enthusiasm but smiles nonetheless.

“Want some mama? I promise not to burn them this time!” Already shaking the bottle pancake mix with your hands. She shakes her head at you and resuming back to the pamphlet she has on her left hand and taking a sip of her coffee in the right.

After watching the butter melt in the pan, you start to pour the third batch of pancake onto it. You plan to eat atleast 4 pieces of pancake because why not? all the weight goes to your boobs and ass anyways.

“Oh almost forgot mum, Kie will be coming over soon!”

Hardly glancing up at you, she hums a little ‘okay dear’ and resuming back to a completely different pamphlet to the ones she had before, all the while walking out of the kitchen. You giggle at her. Heh, mum and her weird pamphlets.

Singing along to the song thats blasting from your Alexa, you flip the pancake with a spatula and letting out a whoop of approval at the sight.

DING DONG!

Deciding to ignore the sound of the doorbell and letting your mother get the door, you resume back to flipping your pancake in peace. After the second sound of your doorbell ringing throughout the house your mothers calls out to you.

“Oh honey can you please get that?” Your mother speaks from the living room.

“Sure ma, cause its not like im cooking or anything” you sass.

With the click of your tongue, you begin to make your way to the front door but moving faster at the thought of it being Kiara on the other side.

Turning the door knob you were left speechless at the sight of the person standing before you.

“Hey! Ive got deliveries”

Oh dear god.

The sound of his charming voice causes your stomach to do flips and your hands to sweat a little from the nervousness. Your heart begins to pick up its pace the longer you stare at him.

Observing the little deep dimple that formed on his right cheek when he smiled down at you.

You watch him place down the 2 bags he held in his toned arms onto the floor while he removes his red cap, fixing his blond locks into place before setting the cap on backwards on his head. Smiling at you again.

God he looks so good in his uniform.

You can’t help but stare into those heavenly eyes that pierced right through your own. The softest of blues, reminding you of the clear sky almost. His eyes held excitment and mystery, making you curious of the things he’s seen on the side of the Cut. Maybe blue is officially your favourite colour.

“Uh hello?”

The voice snaps you out of your daze, causing your face to heat up from embarrassment. You lick your lips and smile up at the smirking handsome blond infront of you. Waiting patiently for you to say something. Obviously noticing that your checking him out.

“What? Oh uh- yes! Hey there” you answer pathetically making yourself cringe.

“Yeah, so here are the deliveries for the week, everything should be in there already and if theres a problem just let me know yeah?” He goes to pick up the bags and handing them to you but before he could say anything else, you lose the grip on the bag when you feel the brush of his calloused hands on yours, causing some things to fall out of the bag.

“Oh-“ “oh no-“

When you both go to pick up the items that fell, you accidentally bump heads with the blond, causing you both to groan loudly. Both muttering out apologies, you go to pick up the items again.

You peek up at him through your lashes, seeing him shake his head at the funny encounter with a little smile forming on his lips. You bite your own to stop that little grin from making its way on your face. Atleast you know he wasnt annoyed at what happened just then.

After placing the last item back into the bag, you stand back up quickly as you watch him do the same. Clearing his throat he hands you back the other bag and this time you grab it with ease, keeping your hands firmly on the bag to avoid embarrassing yourself infront of the cutie again.

“T-thank you..” you stutter out like a sore loser.

“Yeah all goods” he smirks, hand scratching the back of his neck then bringing it back down and sliding both hands into his pockets.

“See ya later then Y/N?” He adds, eyeing you up.

Your eyes widen at the mention of your name slipping pass the gorgeous boy’s lips. Leaving you frozen from where you are. Feeling your heart beat louder in your chest, you’re scared he might hear it. You’re a stuttering mess at this point.

Who fucking knew the blond saying your name would leave you speechless just as much as his mere presence would?

He takes his leave but not before giving you a cheeky wink making you squeal quietly at the action. Your eyes dont leave the boy until he’s fully out the gate. He looks over his shoulder one last time to give a small wave of his hand. smirking as he does so.

You wave goodbye with a shy smile, giggling to yourself when you watch him hop into the company van and takes off.

“Oh my gosh ive never been so close to him before”

“wait how does he know my own name and i still dont know his?” you wonder out loud to no one in particular.

“Y/N L/N, GET YOUR GODDAMN ASS BACK IN HERE NOW! YOUR PANCAKES ARE GONNA BURN THE WHOLE HOUSE DOWN”

OH SHIT THE PANCAKES.

Taglist: @alotbnouf @elhopqer @arthiriticcricket

#fanfiction #jj maybank #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj outer banks #jj x reader #jj x y/n #jj x you #outer banks imagine #fluff #jj maybank fluff

[gwenbrightly]

Lloyd Nearly Gets Tetanus

Written in celebration of Ninjago’s 10th Anniversary.

Lloyd had never really liked his eyes. Sure, they had come in handy when he was still dedicated to leading a life of villainy and he needed to look scary to keep the other kids from picking on him. But now they reminded him too much of the father he’d never really gotten to know. Of the legacy his family had been cursed with.  Of the way his family had been ripped apart as a result of the Great Devourer’s venom. 

He really hadn’t expected the Golden Weapons to react to him. After all, he definitely wasn’t Green Ninja material. Kai would have been a much better choice. He had that comforting, protective big brother presence that Lloyd found himself clinging to after all he’d been through in his admittedly short life. And he’d actually wanted the title. Unlike Lloyd himself, who would rather hide in a cave for the next decade than fight his father. 

 It had been a shock. A big one. And even the initial surprise (and terror) of being labeled as the Green Ninja was nothing compared to the way he felt when he glanced in the bathroom mirror early the next morning and noticed that something had changed. His eyes, which had always managed to stay consistent in color up until now, were green. Green. Not blue, or brown, or some other color that he could live with while pretending the whole thing had been a sick dream, but green. Inescapable proof of the destiny that had been thrust upon him.  

Lloyd’s breath caught in his throat. This couldn’t be happening. It was too much. He scrambled backwards, away from the mirror, and tripped over a snag in the carpet. His elbow bumped against the floor as he fell and he let out a cry of pain. That was going to leave a mark. But that was the least of his problems. He lay on the floor for what felt like hours, unable to rouse himself from the mantra of this can’t be happening that repeated itself over and over in his head. Pathetic. 

Creak…. Somewhere on the Bounty, someone moved, causing Lloyd to sit up. If anyone saw him like this… no. The others already worried about him enough as it was. Lloyd couldn’t handle having to talk about this. Not now. There would be too many questions. What if they decided it was a sign that he was meant to fight his father here and now? After all no one else’s eyes had changed colors when they’d discovered their destinies. Well. No one would be able to notice the change if they didn’t see him at all. He’d just have to hide so good that Kai and Nya, and the others, wouldn’t find him.

 “You’re fine.” Lloyd told himself quietly as he stood up. It was definitely a lie, but he couldn’t afford to acknowledge that. He crept towards the kitchen – he’d need supplies if he were going to pull off this vanishing act – and tried not to think too hard about anything involving the color green. He already knew exactly where he was going to go; it didn’t take long to snag a box of animal crackers and a bottle of water and make his way down to the engine room. The motion activated lights flickered on. There, behind some pipes and machinery Lloyd couldn’t name, was his query. The perfect hiding spot. He’d initially discovered the hollow they formed while exploring the Bounty when he’d first arrived, but Nya had called him away before he had the chance to really appreciate it. He crawled and squeezed his way to the furthest depths of the hollow and prepared to settle in for the long haul.

 “You look like I feel…” Lloyd dejectedly told the caged lion on the front of his box of animal crackers. And then lights went out and he was left in total darkness.

 ___________________________________________________________

 “Has anyone seen my son?” Everyone glanced up from their pancakes when the warlord spoke.

 “Um, no,” Nya said carefully, “we thought he was still asleep. He’s had a rough few days.”

 “That is what I had hoped, but I checked his room just now, and he wasn’t there.” Garmadon stated. He looked worried. 

“That’s strange.” commented Kai, frowning. The others nodded. After just narrowly escaping the Serpentine yesterday, they had all assumed he’d want to surround himself with family and forget the experience. Not hide away somewhere.

 “Perhaps we should look for him. He’s quite good at getting himself into mischief.” Zane prompted, getting up from the table. Everyone was quick to follow his lead, feeling extra protective of the small boy. 

Knowing his habits better than anyone, except maybe Kai, Nya began searching Lloyd’s favorite hiding places. First was the little alcove beneath the steering wheel, then the Bounty’s roof. A few dead leaves drifted lazily on the breeze, a bird screeched in the distance, but Nya found no sign of human life. She called Lloyd’s name several times.  There was no response. With a frown, she clambered down from the roof. Where else would he go? Neither the training room, where Jay was digging through the cupboards where they stored weapons, nor the living room, where Cole and Kai had pushed the couch away from the wall, yielded any clues to Lloyd’s location. They were running out of places to look.

 “He can’t have just… disappeared,” she told her brother, attempting to hide her worry. She collapsed onto the couch while she tried to think of anywhere they might have forgotten to check. Kai sat down next to her and gave her shoulder a squeeze. 

 “He’s gotta be here somewhere,”Kai agreed, “Lloyd’s not stupid enough to go wandering off on his own again so soon, and I think we can rule out kidnapping – Garmadon said there were no signs of a struggle when he checked Lloyd’s room earlier.” 

“That’s promising, I guess.” Nya admitted with a sigh. The small boy wouldn’t have gone anywhere without a fight. Which meant he had to be here. Somewhere. But why couldn’t anyone find him? Why would he hide from them?  

“You don’t think he would’ve gone into the engine room by himself, do you?” Kai wondered aloud. Nya stared at him. Oh. 

 “Has anyone checked there yet?” she asked. He shook his head. “Kai, it’s not safe for him down there. There’s all sorts of broken machinery and old pipes, and the lights haven’t been working lately…”

 “We need to get down there before he hurts himself.” Kai decided, standing. Nya leapt up behind him, praying they would find Lloyd unharmed. Tetanus shots were the last thing she wanted to deal with. The walk to the engine room took far less time than it normally would. Kai and Nya sped down the hallway to the stairs before edging their way down into the dark room. Nya powered on the flashlight app on her phone. 

“See if you can get the lights to turn on. They usually start working okay if you poke them with a broomstick a few times.” She instructed as she wandered deeper into the engine room to look for Lloyd. Kai grabbed the broom that was leaning against the wall by the stairs and got to work poking the light with a bit more force than was truly necessary. When Nya had made it about halfway across the room, the lights flickered to life. Finally.  

Satisfied that the lights weren’t going to go out on them too soon, Kai joined her in looking under and behind the variety of machinery and junk that cluttered the engine room.  Together, they hunted for the small boy, certain that he had to be hiding somewhere in this mess. They searched behind the engine itself to no avail. Next, they looked in an old chest. They even pried up a loose floorboard to see if he had somehow gotten himself stuck underneath. Alas, there was nothing there. 

“Maybe we were wrong. Maybe he did get kidnapped by Pythor or-or-” Nya choked on her words, anxiety mounting. Anything could have happened to Lloyd. 

“Nya stop.” Kai insisted. He drew her into a side hug. “Maybe the others found him while we were down here.” 

She allowed him to guide her back towards the staircase, trying to understand how Lloyd wasn’t where they had been so certain they’d find him. Just as they reached the first step, Nya heard a small voice whisper,

 “No. Come back. Please don’t leave me down here.” 

“Lloyd!” Nya cried, wrenching free of Kai’s grasp, “Where are you?!”

 “M’stuck…” came the muffled reply. 

“Where?” Kai repeated. There was a rattling in the corner of the room, and Lloyd spoke again. 

“Over here behind this… this whatever this piece of junk is. The lights went out and I got stuck…” 

The siblings glanced at each other and followed the sound of his voice. They could just barely make out his shadowy form inside of the hollow he’d been hiding in. He looked so small, curled in on himself and facing away from them. One of the pipes had toppled over, blocking his way out. 

“Oh, Lloyd… what were you thinking?” Nya asked softly as she and Kai began tugging away the pipe. She wished he would turn around so she could make sure he wasn’t hurt, but he stayed frozen in place. “Just get me out of here.” Lloyd begged. The resignation in his voice sliced through the air like the katanas he was always begging to play with. 

“Something’s wrong,” Kai stated, saying what they were both thinking. Nya nodded in agreement. Whatever had happened, Lloyd definitely hadn’t come down here for fun. The pipe finally came loose, opening up a path of escape for the small boy. Only, he didn’t move right away. It was almost as if he were trying to avoid them. “You can come out now.” Kai prompted. 

Lloyd seemed to pause for a moment before scooting backwards towards them. He shakily made his way out of his hiding place, to the relief of his adoptive siblings. 

“Thank you,” he said to the floor. Nya scooped him into a hug. She could feel him beginning to relax. 

 “Do you have any idea how worried we were?”

 “I…. It was stupid, I know.” Lloyd admitted, still not looking at either of them. He tugged his hoodie down to cover his face. Why was he acting like this?

  “Lloyd, honey, please. Talk to us. What’s wrong?” 

Lloyd sniffled.

 “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Okay,” Kai told him slowly, “we don’t have to talk yet. Do you need something to drink? A snack?” 

The boy gratefully accepted the bottle of water Kai held out to him. They sat there, together, not saying anything for what felt like an eternity. Nya leaned against the wall while Lloyd quietly sipped his water. Kai hummed absent mindedly. The engine whirred in the background. Eventually, Lloyd sighed. 

“It’s my eyes.” He told them so quietly they almost didn’t hear him. Nya blanched. 

“Your eyes?”

 Lloyd let out a small whimper as he removed his hood and looked at Kai and Nya.

 “There’s something wrong with them.” 

They stared at him in surprise. For the first time, since they had found him, Nya could clearly see his tear streaked face and the source of his distress.  

“They’re definitely… different,” Nya began carefully. Oh, First Spinjzu Master! How was she supposed to handle this? “but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” 

“Yeah! There’s no reason to freak out.” agreed Kai, flashing him a weak smile. Lloyd didn’t seem to believe them. 

“Guy’s. It’s because I’m the Green Ninja. Isn’t it?”

 “It could be.” Nya offered. In all honesty, it was the most logical explanation for the striking emerald green color his eyes had taken on. Lloyd’s lip trembled.

 “And if it is… what if it’s a sign? What if the universe wants me to take down my father, like, right now.” 

Yep, there it was. Nya was pretty sure she had figured out exactly why Lloyd had resorted to hiding down here. He hadn’t wanted to be pushed into another hopeless situation. She caught Kai’s eye and nodded.

 Kai turned to Lloyd and asked, “Can I ask you something, Lloyd?”  Lloyd shrugged, but didn’t answer. The master of fire continued anyway. “When Zane first found his true potential, he started being able to freeze things on command. Do you think we suddenly decided he was the world’s most powerful ninja and sent him off on the most dangerous solo missions we could think of?”

 “N-no... Of course not.”

  “What about when Cole started bench pressing twice as much as before?” Nya added, “Or when Jay learned how to charge his cell phone with his elemental powers? Did we push them into situations they weren’t ready for?”

 Lloyd cringed, clearly not missing the point they were trying to make. He looked back down at his feet and muttered a soft, “no,”.  

“Then why would we treat you any differently?” Kai wanted to know. Lloyd’s heat snapped up. His voice wavered as he replied.

 “I’m the Green Ninja. It’s my destiny to-”

 “Screw destiny!” Nya cut him off, frustration filling her voice. She wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. “You’re just a kid, Lloyd! The color of your eyes doesn’t get to dictate when you face your father – you do!” 

 It was then that she realized that he was crying. Poor Lloyd. He hadn’t even made it a full 24 hours on the Bounty before trauma had struck again. Nya took a deep breath. She gathered Lloyd into another hug before he could protest and began brushing away his tears. Kai joined her, and, together, they held him as he continued to cry. “We won’t let anyone make you do anything you're not ready for.” Nya promised, ruffling Lloyd’s hair. 

He didn’t say anything, but his breathing began to slow from the near hyperventilating it had been moments before.

 “Nope. Why else would we have these cool powers?” Kai added. He winked at the small boy. 

“They are pretty cool,” Lloyd admitted with a sniffle. As the small boy started to relax, Nya and shared a smile of relief with her brother. 

“You’re safe with us, kiddo. Always.”  

#ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago 10th anniversary #myfics #apologies for any formatting errors #Lloyd has an identity crises #Kai and Nya have a heart attack #everything ends well #I guess?

[weathergirl8]

Master of Deflection - Part 3

Writing sometimes helps....

This is for you @ak47stylegirl and anyone else who enjoys Alan whump/smothering. Of course, there will be some extra Virgil in there too, because I just love the big guy.

@gumnut-logic You had every reason to be wary and suspicious...

As a friendly reminder, I originally came from the TOS and TB 2004 era. I’ve tried to write a few TAG point of views, but my comfort zone is the previous. This will take place with Gordon as the redhead, and Virgil as the middle bro. Sorry!

Summary: Being the youngest of five is always hard, especially when they pounce at the slightest hair out of line. Sometimes the art of deflection can sting.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alan tried to remain calm as the Captain’s grip on him became almost painful. The husky man forced them forward as Alan desperately tried to get his brother’s attention. Virgil was grabbing extra thermal blankets and hand warmers from the corner. The field medic was so engrossed with his task, and Alan loved his instincts for anything medical, but this was one time he needed his older brother to sense something was up.

Almost on cue, the chestnut-haired Tracy paused in his work and turned around slowly. Virgil felt his chest almost drop into his stomach as the sight of Alan helmetless being held at gunpoint met his eyes. He subtly activated his watch and coms before approaching the situation. “Captain, what’s going on?”

“There’s plenty of room to place some of that coal aboard here. You’re going to load it aboard your craft now!” the greying man screamed, tightening his hold on Alan as the gun pushed farther into his neck.

“Easy, Sir. We can talk about this,” Virgil tried to reason, fear for his baby brother pounding with every second. “We don’t need the gun. Can you please put it away, and we’ll talk about it?”

“Virgil, what the hell is going on?” the middle Tracy heard Scott’s concerned voice in his earpiece.

“I’m dead if at least a quarter of that shipment doesn’t survive,” Captain Sterns sneered. “I’ll kill your operative if that’s what it takes to get the message across that I mean business!” the man screamed as he cocked the gun, causing Alan to cry out in pain at the pressure against his neck.

“Virgil, I’m coming down there,” Jeff spoke next.

“No!” Virgil cried. “I hear you, okay? We’ll take the platform down now and get what you need.”

“That’s more like it. You’re both coming with me,” the Captain ordered.

Virgil led the man back onto the rescue platform. The middle Tracy took in a steadying breath as he heard Alan hiss as the Captain yanked the teen forward. “Captain Sterns,” Virgil hesitated. “I have to radio our team that we are going back down to the ship, or they will wonder what is going on. It will only take a moment.”

“If you tip them off, your man is as good as dead,” Sterns warned, his finger playing with the trigger.

Virgil held up his hands. “I won’t, I promise. Please don’t hurt him.”

“Be quick!”

Virgil nodded as he met the determined but fearful eyes of his baby brother. Alan remained composed on the outside, but those baby blue orbs that always expressed so much emotion screamed how scared Alan was. Virgil knew he had to find a way out of this that would not only save his little brother but the passengers on board. “Commander, do you read?” he asked, pretending to press his coms for the first time. “Please advise, we have a crew member unaccounted for and are returning to do a quick search.”

“F.A.B. Virgil, be careful.”

“F.A.B,” Virgil responded as he fidgeted with an item along his belt. The middle Tracy never took his eyes off his little brother. “We are clear, Captain.”

Alan watched Virgil, studying his movements. Out of the Captain’s view, Alan could see his brother reaching inside the small pouch that typically contained medical supplies. The youngest Tracy met Virgil’s now stern gaze; the field medic’s body was stiff. Virgil moved toward the two slowly. Alan could feel Captain Sterns growing uneasy behind him.

“What are you doing?” the older man asked.

“I have to press the control manually,” Virgil said, keeping calm. “You are standing by it.”

The Captain turned his head, looking for the so-called switch. Virgil knew it was now or never. “ALAN, DROP!” the middle Tracy shouted and lunged toward the crazed Captain, plunging a syringe into the man’s neck. The two wrestled, causing the gun to go off. Virgil punched the man, knocking the Captain out cold as the fast-acting sedative took full effect.

Virgil leaned back, breathing hard, his honey eyes immediately searching for his baby brother. “Alan!” he cried as he worked his helmet off and rushed toward his prone sibling. “Allie, are you okay?”

Almost in shock, Alan looked up at him before returning his gaze to a hole along the platform that resided just a few inches to his right.

“Alan, talk to me. Are you hit?” Virgil asked as he frantically began searching for a gunshot wound.

“I’m okay,” the blonde finally answered, pushing himself to his feet allowing Virgil to place his arms around him. “I’m not hit. Are you okay?”

Virgil hugged his baby brother fiercely. “I’m alright.” An unspoken thankful prayer lingered in the air between them.

“Virgil! Alan!” they heard their father’s voice yell as Jeff entered the room. “Are you boys hit?”

“We’re okay, Dad,” Virgil said, not letting go of Alan. “Knocked the Captain out with a sedative.”

Jeff calmed himself as he hugged his two children. “Situation is contained,” he said across his earpiece. “John, notify authorities to meet us at Prudhoe Bay. Gordon, prepare for retrieval. Scott, give us a few minutes to secure and restrain Captain Sterns and then follow us to Prudhoe.”

They each acknowledged their orders, leaving Jeff to look after his middle and youngest sons. “Are you sure you’re both alright?”

Alan looked at Virgil for a moment before looking back at Jeff’s uneasy gaze. “I’m okay, Dad. I promise.”

“Might have a few new bruises to nurse in the morning, but all good,” Virgil said with a smile.

“Okay,” Jeff said, relieved. “Virgil, help me take care of the Captain. Alan, I want you to change out of that soaked uniform and then meet me in the cockpit. No arguments.”

Alan paused but then nodded and headed toward the front of Thunderbird 2.

Virgil watched Alan walk away with worry, his hazel eyes finally catching where the stray bullet had landed. It had been so damn close….

-TB-

Tense energy filled each of them as they returned home, making the radio waves eerily silent. Pulling Thunderbird 2 into the hanger, Virgil tried to erase the memory of his baby brother being held at gunpoint from his mind. Turning from his seat, he met Gordon’s concerned gaze as the two noticed Alan was out cold. Alan had only mentioned his headache had increased after the incident, but otherwise, he was fine. Not wanting to cause an argument, Virgil let it go. “Go on, I’ll wake him,” Virgil told Gordon and their father. “Alan?” he called, as he gently shook his baby brother awake. The eighteen-year-old slowly opened his eyes. “We’re home, kiddo.”

Alan nodded and tried to return the smile his brother gave him. The teen fought against the exhaustion that seemed to overwhelm him. His head fiercely pounded as he felt chills running throughout his body. “Thanks,” he replied hoarsely.

Virgil eyed him with unease. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Alan answered quickly and stood up from his seat. “I’m going to go take a shower, and then I’ll be down for debrief.”

Virgil hesitated but decided to give Alan some space. Now was not the time to push. “Good idea, Sprout. We’ll see you in a bit.”

“Don’t call me Sprout,” Alan grumbled lightly.

“Fine, Squirt,” Virgil smiled.

Alan rolled his eyes and headed toward his room. That warm shower sounded better and better with each passing second.

Gordon watched Alan as he entered the elevator that led to the main living quarters. “Is he okay?”

Virgil sighed. “I think he will be.”

Gordon nodded, looking in the direction Alan had gone once more before returning his attention to his immediate older brother. “What about you?”

“What do you mean?” Virgil asked, confused as they exited Thunderbird 2.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Virg,” Gordon paused. “If someone pointed a gun at Alan in my presence, I would be furious and probably have nightmares for a while.”

“Yea…,” Virgil stammered. “I’d rather save the details for debrief. I only want to tell the story again once.”

“I get it,” Gordon nodded, leading them toward the elevator. “It sounded so scary over the coms.”

“It was. It was so damn close, Gordon,” Virgil admitted, his voice tight. The horror still replaying over and over in his head. “That stray bullet missed Alan by a few inches.”

“Glad you knocked that Captain a good one then,” Gordon said. “You don’t mess with a Tracy.”

Virgil smiled, catching the mischievous glint in his younger brother’s eye. “Indeed.”

“Anyway,” Gordon said, leaning against the wall of the elevator. “If you need to talk about it after debrief, I’ll be around.”

“Thanks, Gordo. I’ll keep that in mind.”

-TB-

Alan slowly dried himself off from his warm shower as exhaustion threatened to overtake him once more. The warm shower did nothing to ease the ache in his body nor to warm him. He felt chilled to the bone.

Stepping out of the shower, he cleared his throat as a tickle threatened to make him cough. Looking at himself in the mirror, Alan couldn’t help but frown as he noticed dark circles hooded his eyes. His head pounded, its return the result of the likely growing bruise on the back of his neck from Captain Sterns’ gun.

Another shiver ran through Alan’s body as his mind replayed the events of the previous rescue. It could’ve ended so differently, but Alan was ever thankful for his quick thinking older brother. Sighing, the teen reached for a t-shirt from his dresser and a thick pair of lounge pants that he hoped would help get rid of the chill in his body.

Reaching for his watch from his nightstand, Alan had to steady himself against his bed as a bought of dizziness overwhelmed him. “Okay, so maybe this isn’t just a migraine,” he said aloud to himself. Maybe it was just the effects of the day?

“I just need to sleep this off,” Alan said to himself. How to get his brothers and father to give him some space? Alan knew just what to do.

Turning the light off in his room, Alan sat down on his bed and called his father on his watch.

“Alan?” Jeff answered, concerned.

“Dad, is it okay if I skip debrief and eat dinner later? I’ve got a pounding headache and really just want to stay where it’s quiet and dark.”

Jeff frowned, the events of the day weighing heavily on his mind. “Are you okay, Alan? I can send Virgil up.”

“No,” Alan sighed. “I already took another Excedrin. I think I just need to sleep it off.”

Jeff studied his son’s shadowy features for a moment before finally answering. “Okay, get some rest, and I’ll check in on you in a little while.”

“Okay, thanks Dad,” Alan smiled gratefully and disconnected the line. Taking in a deep breath, he groaned as he laid down in the bed. Alan prayed sleep was all he needed. Pulling the covers over his body, he tried to relax as his head pounded once more.

TBC…

#thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2004 #alan tracy #virgil tracy #jeff tracy #gordon tracy #scott tracy #john tracy #writing #my writing #fanfic #part 3

[buriednurbckyrd]

The Breakup Box (2)

Bucky became more and more touchy-feely in the following week.  Not that Steve was complaining, he loved the fact that they were free to express their bond with more than a casual pat on the back or fleeting hug.  But a definite aura of sadness accompanied the extra physical contact.  It wasn't just that he was feeling more affectionate; they were both missing Y/N's presence.  Sam's comment about the two of them following her around like puppies may have rankled, but it wasn't too far from the truth.  

The attachment between them had formed so quickly, maybe even instantly.  She was magnetic.  Charming, quick witted, and unfailingly kind.  But never a pushover, she could be tough as nails when the occasion called for it.  She'd gone toe to toe with General Ross more than once to defend both of them.  The animosity he harbored for Bucky and Steve was well known and he never made an attempt to hide it.  No one bad mouthed her team in her earshot, no matter how high ranking.  How could they not adore her?  Loyal to the bone, generous with her time and affection, and a force to be reckoned with in and out of the field.  

But she was avoiding them.  For reasons they couldn't comprehend.

“I miss her Steve.”  Bucky murmured in the dim early morning light of their bedroom.  Steve brushed his hair back from his face, fingers caught in Bucky's dark locks.  

“I do too,” he sighed.  “I don't understand why she won't talk to us.”  It hurt. Knowing she was hurting but wouldn't let them comfort her.  

“I keep wracking my brain, trying to figure out if I did something.”  Bucky pulled away from Steve's sleepy embrace and sat up.  

“Buck, we've been over this.  Everything was normal before she spent the weekend with that guy and he broke up with her.  It's nothing you or I did.”  He pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky's shoulder before he got out of bed to dress for his morning run.  

“I can't stand this!”  Bucky sprang out of bed and paced the room like an ill tempered big cat.  “She has no problem being around anyone else but the second she sees us, bam!  Gone.”  

“You think it's any easier for me?”  Steve shot back, pulling on a tshirt. “Because it's not!  Every time she refuses to meet my eye, or practically trips over her own feet to get out of a room because I happen to be in it feels like a slap.”  He clenched his fists and breathed through the urge to punch the wall.  Giving into that hot flash of anger wouldn't help anything, he was better than that.  “I just want it to be like it was.”  He finally said, relaxing his hands and letting out a long breath.  “I miss our girl too.”  

'Our girl'.  How many times had they called her that?  Too many to count, but it still sent a funny little flutter off in both of their stomachs.  It was usually a comfort, but that morning it was a dull ache.  

“I'm sorry,” Bucky said quietly.  “I didn't...I know it's hard for you too.”  He dropped his forehead against Steve's back, his hands both metal and flesh soothed over his stomach.  “I don't want to argue with you.”  Steve caught the vibranium fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze.  

“I know.  And I think it's time we stop letting her run away.  I've been trying to be patient, trying to let her come to us but I'm starting to think that isn't going to happen.  Something is stopping her, and I want to know why.  I know she's going through something but we can't let this continue.”  

…

She wanted a fight.  She wanted brutal, desperate, and bloody. It would be the only satisfying outlet for the pain.  And she cursed herself for those toxic thoughts, so she settled for a punching bag.  Focused on the movement, she blocked out the memories that had haunted her for the past week.  Sweat ran down her face and stung her eyes but she ignored it.  Her muscles were fatigued but she pushed on.  She needed to eat, needed a break, but still she continued.  

Y/N wasn't a fool.  She wasn't careless or hard-hearted.  Of course she had seen the way her actions were hurting Bucky and Steve.  They were her best friends, and she wanted to pull them closer even as she held them at a distance.  Tears mixed with sweat.  It would be so much easier if she didn't lean on them so much.  If she didn't need them so much.  She screamed in frustration and kicked the heavy bag.  A sharp pain jolted up to her hip and she fell back onto the mat with a hiss.  

“Yeah, you're done.”  An impatient voice reached her ears.  She looked up and saw Sam stalking over to her with a towel and a bottle of water.

“I didn't know you were in here.”  She winced and rubbed her thigh.  

“Not surprised, that was some pity party you were throwing for yourself.” He thrust the water into her hand.  “Drink.”  He snapped.  She unscrewed the top and drank even as she scowled at him.  “Stop pouting.  Are you actually hurt?  Do I need to get you over to medical?”  He crossed his arms and looked her up and down.  

“No, it's fine.”  She bent and straightened her leg to test it. “Just tired.”  She caught the towel she threw at her and dabbed her face.  “If you're so annoyed at me you can leave.”  

“Knock it off.  It isn't cute anymore.”  He sat down next to her on the floor.  “Look,” his voice softened.  “I know you've been having a rough time.  Maybe you haven't said anything about what happened, but I don't think my guess was too far from the truth.”  She took another sip of water and nodded.  “I figured.  And I didn't come in here to yell at you, I think you've been beating up on yourself enough, I don't need to pile on.”  

“It's my fault.”  Her throat felt so tight, she could barely say the words.  

“What's your fault?”  He asked calmly.  She didn't speak for several minutes, but he just sat beside her quietly, waiting.  

“Everything,” she finally said.  “What happened,” the tears spilled over again. “Steve and Bucky.  I know they're upset.”  She wiped at her eyes.  “I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Sam.”

“Of course you didn't.”  He patted her hand.  “You aren't a malicious person, Y/N.  No one thinks you are.”  

“God,” she let out a humorless laugh.  “Stop being nice to me, I don't deserve it.  I've been a complete fuck up.”  

“Hey, that's my friend you're smack talking.”  

“Stop it,” she finally faced him, her eyes blazing.  “I know I'm being an idiot!  That's part of the problem!  Knowing you're the shit head but you can't help it.”  Sam leaned back on his hands.  

“Well that's nonsense.”  He told her.  “No, you just be quiet for a minute.”  He cut her off before she could begin her next tirade. “You know what the problem is.  If you know that, then you know the solution.  It's not that you can't help it, it's that you don't want to fix it.”

“What? Of course I want to fix it!”  She shot to her feet.  

“Then do it.”  He stood up and gripped her shoulders.  “I've been watching you punish yourself for a damn week, and it's enough.”  He gave her a little shake.  “You're an intelligent woman, Y/N.  Stop avoiding the issue and face it, whatever it is.  It won't go away until you do.”  

“You don't understand,” more tears came.  “I could ruin everything. Even worse than it is now.” Sam saw the fear in her eyes so he chose his next words with care.  

“But this can't go on, honey,” he said gently.  “What happens next time we all get sent out with a job to do?  Whatever's hanging over your head, it's gotta be dealt with.  You know what a lack of communication can lead to in the field.”  She was quiet again, and then let out a long sigh after a few minutes.  Sam knew he'd finally gotten through to her.  

“You're right.  I'll handle it.  Try to fix it.”  

“I have all the faith in the world.”

…

The anxiety built up into a solid iron ball in her stomach as she stood under the steaming water in her shower.  Her conversation with Sam replayed in her head and her cheeks burned with shame.  How had things gotten to this point?  When did she start lying to herself and the most important people in her life?  She stepped out of the shower and dried off.  

No more.  She pressed a hand against her rolling stomach and took a deep breath.  It was time to get dressed and face the music.  Whatever happened...at least it wouldn't be hanging over her anymore.  Looking in the mirror and running her fingers through her damp hair, she gave herself a pep talk.  She was nervous, but determined.  

Mind made up, she left the bathroom to go find Steve and Bucky.  Only she didn't have far to go, the two men were sitting on her bed waiting for her.  

“Y/N,” Steve said, the two of them standing up.  “We need to talk.”

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#Steve x Bucky #Steve x Reader x Bucky #Stucky x Reader #reader insert #plus sized reader