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losa12308 · 7 months

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You did what?!

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, pregnancy, Dad Dean

Paring: Dean Winchester x pregnant!reader

You woke up and looked at the time, 6:30. Yes! Woke up before Dean! You look to your left and see the bed empty, you put your hand there and feel that's its cold "Dean?" You get up and check the bathroom, he's not there. Maybe he never went to bed? No he accidentally woke me up when he did. You walk into the kitchen and he's not there. You start looking for a note and there isn't one... then the thoughts set it

What if he got kidnapped? What if something got into the bunker? What if Crowley got him? What if this? What if that? So many what ifs ran through your head before

What if he left me? What if he found the pregnancy test and he left! What if he doesn't want to be a Dad! What if he doesn't Love you!

You sat in your thoughts of despair for what felt like forever...

Until

Three months later

Dean walked into the bunker and saw you “Hey babe did you get the- woah. What happened?… you look mad.”

"Do I?" If you were a cartoon, steam would be coming out of your ears

“Uh yeah, you do… what’s wrong?” he asks, coming up and putting his arms around you

"Don't touch me! you left for weeks! Winchester, and you come back with 'Hey babe'"

“I was busy, Y/N.” he looks at you and crosses his arms “and I don’t appreciate the tone.”

"No, Hey I'm gonna be gone, no hey Sam tell Y/N that I needed to leave, Hey Cas let Y/N know I'll be back in a few weeks. NOT EVEN A FUCKING NOTE!"

he sighs “You know how important those jobs were, Y/N. If I told you you’d have talked me out of it.”

"YOU THINK I CARE?" You yelled

“Y/N calm down-“ he says holding onto you still in the embrace “I know you’re upset, but just hear me out.”

You start struggle against his hold

he sighs and let’s you go “what, you think I enjoy being away? I don’t.” he gets irritated “But the things I’m doing are important and someone has to do it. I don’t like it, you don’t like it, so calm down.”

"IT SURE FEELS LIKE YOU ENJOY BEING AWAY SINCE YOU LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING DEAN!"

“Stop yelling, Y/N” he says getting even more angry “I am sorry it’s just- some missions I can’t talk about! It was top secret! I shouldn’t even tell you I was gone at all!”

"YOU THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE? I CANT BELIEVE YOU!"

“Stop being so emotional! I just got home and I already have a headache! Why don’t you appreciate that I’m back? I’m tired of you being so damn dramatic!”

"Fuck you!" You walk away from him

“Y/N!” He chases after you “Wait! I’m sorry! Y/N, please!” he catches up to you and pulls you back. But your facing away from him

"Let go of me" my voice cracks

He lets go of you and stands next to you “Y/N please look at me” You look at him briefly, just long enough for him to see the tears streaming down your face. “Y/N…” his voice becomes soft and apologetic “I’m sorry… it was a hard job and I just wanted to come home and see you.” he reaches out and puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you so that your facing him.

''Don't, Don't you even fucking dare"

a look of hurt crosses his face “What? I’m-“ he tries to take your hands

"De, I didn't know what happened to you! For all I knew, a demon or something killed you and I would never see you again!"

“But I’m right here! And I’m okay. It was just a tough job. And I’m sorry but I don’t have time to explain.” he reaches out to wipe your tears.

You stop him from touching you,"but I didn't know that.''

“But you do know that now. Just let me prove to you that I’m back, that I’m okay. And that I love you. I don’t want to fight, Y/N. I just came home today and want to feel at home.”

"But that's my point, What if you didn't Dean? I wouldn't of known what had happened"

“Then you would’ve assumed I got killed on a hunt?” he sighs “Y/N, don’t jump to conclusions! Even if I died I would find a way to get back to you. You’re really the only person I care about.”

"But still! What am I supposed to tell the baby?" You gasp and throw your hand over your mouth, you weren't going to tell him that in the middle of the argument.

“There’s a… there is a baby Y/N?” he looks at you with wide eyes

You look down. "I didn't want to tell you like this"

“Y/N why didn’t you tell me?” his voice is becoming quieter and his face is filled with emotion

"I was going to! I was going to get up and make you breakfast and give you a little gift wrapped box with the test inside. But then you left"

“Oh Y/N…” *he reaches out to hug her again but doesn’t touch her. He smiles “You’re pregnant?”

You still hasn't looked up to see him smiling "yeah"

“You’re joking” he says smiling big, trying to see your face “Y/N I-“ he goes to hug you but quickly catches himself and pulls back* “You’re really pregnant with our child?”

You keep crying. "I'm sorry"

“Sorry? You’re saying this like it’s bad.” he looks at you “Why aren’t you happy about it?”

You look up to see him smiling. He kneels to be on her level “Y/N we’re going to have a child.”

"Your Happy?"

“Yes of course! I’ve been hoping for a child for years. But you don’t seem to be happy, Y/N. Are you not happy?”

You start sobbing "I thought you weren't going to be happy!"

“Not be happy to have my own child? Are you kidding me? Of course I’m happy. I thought you wanted kids too? And here we are expecting one.” He smiles and hugs you despite your protests. You hug him back. He kisses you “This is amazing. And we’ll have to start thinking of baby names.”

"De, I'm barely out of the first trimester"

“So? We can still think about it.” *he says excitedly* “And we have plenty of time before baby gets here. We can tell everyone too.”

You smile at him "I'm already showing a bit, Deanie"

“That’s a good thing” he says, holding ypur stomach “What do you think we can name it, hun? Girl or boy? I hope we get a girl”

You smile again. " I just want the baby to be happy." You take off your sweater, revealing the small swell of your belly that wasn't there when he left for the hunt.

His eyes grow “Huh you weren’t kidding when you said you already started showing.” he smiles as he looks at your stomach “We will have fun in the months to come. This is going to be great.”

You smile at him again. "Yeah," you run your hand over the small swell of your small baby bump

He kisses your stomach “We’ll make this work. Just like everything else. When is your next doctor appointment and how many weeks are you?” he asks quickly, looking at your stomach

"In a few days, 14 weeks. So the baby is about the size of an apple"

"Sweetheart, I have to tell you something"

"Yeah?"

"I made a deal with a demon, I only have two years left"

"You did what?!"

Hiiii! Sorry for doing that! But Also not like at all. If you want me to rewrite without the Angst let me know. I know that it feels kind of abrupt but I came up with this idea while talking to this character on Character AI

And I cut out cuddling with him, taking about insecurities of my own and coming up with baby names. Also if you want a part two let me know. I hope you liked it!

@twinkleinadiamondsky

#dean winchester x you #dean winchester x pregnant!reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #character ai

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castieldelamancha · 7 months

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"No." It comes out quiet and full of grief.

Dean stares at him, from a distance, just a couple steps away, the war room table between them, but he could well be all the way up in the Moon, just by the cold look in his eyes as they meet Cas'.

Sam gives him a confused look, coming to a halt half-way to where Cas is standing at the end of the stairs.

"Dean, it's me, Castiel." He will let them run all the test they have to to prove he is himself. Holy water, silver, whatever it takes, he doesn't care as long as by the end of it Dean is staring at him as he usually does.

Maybe that's too much to ask for, taking into account the way he left on the first place.

They can talk it out, they can fix it.

Sam starts walking again and, as soon as he is close enough, he hugs Cas tightly, "give him some time," he whispers, patting his back, "it's been bad." The cold grip of guilt's hand around his neck is tight, but Castiel makes an effort to breathe through it. Sam steps back, "It's good to have you back."

He hears him, but Castiel doesn't reply, focused as he is on the man on the other side of the room, on his hurt expression, on the way his hands open and close in fist, on how he takes a step forward, unconsciously, and then takes two back when he notices he has gotten a bit closer.

"You don't get to do this, man."

"I can explain-"

"I can't, Castiel," and his name shouldn't sound like an insult but it does, because for that voice he hasn't been Castiel for a long time, he was always Cas, "I can't keep doing this, I let you in and then you are gone, over and over again." He has stepped closer to the table, keeping something between them, and he is leans towards it, forcefully resting his palms against its surface, he lets his head fall down, hiding his face, "you told me you loved and then you were gone." Sam, who clearly wasn't aware of what happened in those last moments, gasps loudly at that, eyes widening as he stares at them, first at Dean, then at Cas.

"I don't want you to say anything back, we can forget it even happened, I am terribly sorry I keep hurting you like this."

"You told me you loved me," Dean keeps talking, ignoring Castiel or simply too overwhelmed to have heard him, "and you were gone," his voice breaks slightly at the last word, Sam eyes the door, knowing he should leave them, but also aware of how any distraction could ruin this moment, "and I couldn't even fucking say it back." He rises his voice, using his hand to push himself back and away from the table and turning around.

"What?" Castiel mutters.

"You heard me."

"Okay, that's it, I am leaving you two to talk this out." Sam doesn't give a shit anymore about being a distraction, he needs to get out of here, now. So he does, aware neither his brother nor Cas are paying him any attention.

"Dean?" Castiel dares to take a step forwards, he dares to take another one, and he dares to circle the table to stand right behind Dean. He reaches out and touches Dean's left shoulder, a brief thing that stars and it's over in the blink of an eye,"I would have never left if I hadn't been forced to by the circumstances, I would have stayed."

"I never asked you to, anyway, because i was a coward." Castiel sighs.

"Would you turn around and look at me, please?" At that Dean takes a deep breath and he tilts his head up, staring at the ceiling but, after what feels as an eternity, he turns around, eyes red-rimmed and avoidant, mouth pressed in a thin, tense line. "You won't ever see me again if that's what you want, but I won't leave without telling you that, even if I apologize for what I put you through, I don't regret what I did that day. I had to do it, for the world, and for all of us, and for you. I wanted to give you another chance. And," he makes a pause and smiles, feeling a familiar wetness in his eyes, " I don't regret what I said either." Dean has every right to push him away, to never forgive him.

"You are back for good, then?" Castiel can't help but hold on tightly onto that timid spark of hope in Dean's eyes. He nods a couple times.

"I will tell you all about it later, right now I just want-" he doesn't finish because he doesn't quiet know what he wants, to be with you, yes, to make things right. That too.

He doesn't finish because a pair of lips pressed against his own effectively cut him off mid-sentence, "I love you too." The words fall from them as soon as they part ways with Castiel's.

#destiel #post s15 #ficlet #forget about happy reunions i want drama #vanessa writes ✨

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castielific · 6 months

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I just saw this on facebook and ohmygod I need to read a fic like this.

I want a fic where John comes back instead of Mary. I want a fic where Dean finally dares to talk back, call him on his shit, to tell him the same things he did to Mary. That he was never a child, never had a childhood, etc...

Dean has grown so much in the time since John died and I want to see how that affect their relationship. Because of course John would fall back to their old dynamic and it would be comforting to Dean at first. Except he's not the same anymore. They don't hunt the same way or live the same way. Even Sam and Dean's relationship isn't the same anymore. Dean trusts Sam way more and is less obsessed with protecting/controlling him because he knows Sam is capable of making his own choices and protecting himself.

And how would John react to Castiel and the intense friendship he has with his son.s? Imagine the scene when Mary meets Cas for the first time...but with John instead.

Damn, this would be such an interesting story.

I mean, I'm kind of glad they didn't do it in the show because they probably would have done it wrong (regarding my headcanon at least). But damn, this storyline could be gold.

Does anyone know of a fic like that? Or one where John comes back in another way?

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #john winchester #john winchester's a+ parenting #destiel #spn fic #spn ao3

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notanettelmao · 1 year

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Magic Bullet

Also on AO3

(TW rewrite)

Fandoms: Teen Wolf, Supernatural Warnings: usual TW and SPN stuff Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x reader Words: 2,2k

<<;back // next>>

Chris Argent was on his way out the front door when the two girls, both looking tired, appeared at the top of the stairs.

“What’s going on?” Allison asked her father, while Y/N inspected the duffle bag he had over his shoulder. She immediately tensed.

“Your aunt Kate texted. She’s having car trouble,” Argent smiled at his daughter. Y/N could tell the smile was fake. She frowned and leaned her head to the side a bit, while she raised an eyebrow at the man downstairs.

“Car trouble?” She asked. Chris’ lips twitched as he kept the smile on his face.

“Yes. A flat tire. Why don’t you two go back to sleep? You have school in the morning.” Allison nodded and disappeared back into her room, not catching the lie in her father’s words. Y/N slowly walked down the stairs so she didn’t have to talk loudly and risk Allison overhearing.

“Car trouble, huh? Does the car have a bit of fur, glowy eyes, and fangs?” She quietly asked, grabbing his duffle bag and feeling up the stuff inside it through the cloth of the bag.

“Maybe. Go back to bed. You don’t want me to call your brothers, do you?” Argent asked. The youngest Winchester rolled her eyes.

“As if I haven’t already called them.” She mumbled under her breath, watching Argent leave.

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

“Sammy I’m telling you she’s creepy as hell. Not as creepy as Victoria, but the has some kind of bad feeling about her. I don’t know how to explain it. She has the vibes of a person that likes to fuck up teenagers,” Y/N was walking to school as she explained to her brother everything about her meeting Kate Argent just a few minutes earlier.

“It can’t be that bad, can it? Anyway, I have some news. Are you ready?” Sam asked. She could hear him talk to Dean about something.

“Yeah, I think so. What am I supposed to be ready for?” Y/N looked around and then crossed the road toward a park. She could hear someone say something that sounded like ‘do it now’ and then there was a familiar whoosh of air behind her that made her freeze in place.

“You’re kidding.” She said, her voice shaking.

“I’m not. He might be kinda… Not in the right head space but it’s him.” Sam said before he said his goodbyes and hung up, leaving her to deal with the situation alone. She slowly lowered the phone from her ear and took a deep breath before turning around. And there he stood. The first thing she noticed was the lack of a tie, but after that, he just turned into a blurry figure as her eyes filled up with tears.

“Cas!” She squealed, jumping into his arms and hugging him tightly.

“Hello Y/N,” he said. Y/N wiped her tears into his trenchcoat before looking up at him and touching his cheek.

“Oh my god, it’s really you! I- How? When? Why didn’t you all call me right away?” She wanted to ask much more but she didn’t get the chance. There was a blue jeep approaching. It stopped on the side of the road right next to the park and honked to get Y/N’s attention.

“Oh, that’s Stiles. C’mon, I have to introduce you two. All I’m saying is he made me mad a few days ago and is currently trying to make it up. Don’t you dare say anything to Dean or he will come here and threaten him with a gun or something,” Y/N grabbed Cas by his arm and pulled him towards the jeep.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Castiel asked staring at Stiles through the window. Y/N choked on air.

“Wha- No. Why is everyone- Nevermind.” She shook her head and smiled at Stiles as he slowly rolled down his window.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hi?” Stiles asked and looked at Castiel.

“Hello. I am Castiel.” Cas said, making Y/N facepalm.

“I’ll explain later. Cas this is Stiles. He is one of my friends. Stiles, this is Castiel. I will tell you more about him when we get to school. We are going to be late,” she checked the time on her phone.

“I will get back to your brothers. Pray if you need me,” Castiel said and with a blink of an eye, he was gone. Stiles just stared with his mouth open. Y/N giggled when she saw him and quickly hopped inside the jeep.

“Close your mouth, Stilinski.”

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

Y/N spent the whole day at school with headphones in her ears, ignoring the not-so-quiet whispers of her two friends about who could have bitten Scott if not Derek. She was too happy about Castiel being alive to get herself involved in conversations.

At the end of all of their classes, she walked out of the school building listening to Stiles explaining all of Scott’s concerns. So she basically knew everything that happened while her earphones were blasting music the whole day anyway.

“Oh- my god!” Stiles suddenly hit the brakes right after they got out of his parking spot.

“What-” Y/N looked up from her belt buckle. She noticed Derek in front of the car, not looking good.

“Dammit,” she quickly unbuckled herself and jumped out of the jeep. She got next to Derek just as his legs gave out and he was about to fall.

“Crap, Stiles help me get him inside of the jeep,” she shot her friend a look and started making tiny steps towards the passenger seat. She was holding Derek up by herself until Stiles finally remembered how to function and helped hold him up from the other side. They helped the werewolf up on the seat and Y/N buckled his belt, just in case. She closed the door and then got into the backseat through Stiles’ side. Stiles quickly climbed into the driver's seat and started the car, just when Scott finally decided to show up.

“What the hell?” The young wolf asked Derek, who wasn’t looking so great.

“I was shot,” Derek groaned. That made Y/N lean over to look over the seat. She was trying to find the bullet wound.

“Why aren’t you healing?” Scott asked again. Y/n was considering slapping him in the face. It was obvious hunters were involved. And hunters meant wolfsbane. Also Argents, but that was not the problem right now.

“Derek, who shot you?” She asked quickly, but Derek ignored her.

“It was a different kind of bullet. I can’t heal.”

“What, a silver bullet?” Stiles asked excitedly. Y/N smacked his head.

“He is dying. Why are you excited? How do you want to explain a dead criminal inside of your car to your dad?” She whisper yelled. Stiles’ eyes grew wide as if he just realized this.

“Wait, that’s what she meant when she said you had forty-eight hours-” Scott said.

“Who- who said forty-eight hours?” Derek groaned.

“The one who shot you,” Scott said as if it was obvious. Y/N wanted to scream. Derek groaned in pain, this time his eyes flashed. Y/N quickly put her hands on his face so she covered them up.

“Winchester, you are lucky I like you or I would rip your hands off right now,” Derek mumbled.

“Scott you need to figure out what kind of bullet they used,” Y/N looked at her friend.

“What? Why me?”

“Because you are dating Allison. And the person who shot Derek is her aunt. She has them stashed in her room, most probably,” Y/N explained already trying to come up with a plan B.

“Why should I help him?” Scott asked.

“Because if you don’t I’m going to mix all the wolfsbane that’s in the house and shove it down your throat while you sleep. Now go!” Y/N shoved Scott’s chest through the window and told Stiles to drive.

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

They were driving through the streets of Beacon Hills when Y/N realized they were on the way toward the preserve.

“Stiles, stop the car.”

“Why? We are almost there.”

“Almost where?” Derek joined the conversation.

“Your house,” Stiles said as he parked the jeep. Derek quickly turned to look at him and just as he opened his mouth to say something, Y/N beat him to it.

“Stiles, you can’t take him to his house. He was shot. By a hunter. Who knows where he lives and who probably came only to finish the job,” Y/N explained. Derek winced at the last part but Stiles ignored it, he didn’t know the full story anyway so he didn’t find it weird.

“Where am I supposed to take him then?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll call Scott. Drive somewhere else though,” Y/N already pulled out her phone and searched for Scott’s number.

“But-”

“Start the car and drive. Now. Or I’m gonna rip your throat out… with my teeth.”

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

They ended up going to the animal clinic. Stiles and Derek were in the middle of a fight about Stiles chopping Derek’s arm off when Y/N got an idea.

“Noone is going to chop anyone’s arm off,” she said quickly coming over to get the saw away from them.

“But-” Stiles started just as Derek collapsed.

“Fuck. Castiel if you hear me this is the time for you to show up. Please.”

“Like the dude from this morning?” Stiles asked and let out a noise when the trenchcoated man appeared right in front of him.

“You need my help?” Castiel asked. Y/N quickly pulled him towards Derek.

“Heal him. Please. We are running out of time and Scott got held up and-” Y/N started explaining everything at once. Castiel just pressed his fingers to Derek’s forehead and let his hand glow. Stiles watched all of the black veins disappear from Derek’s body.

“Whoa,” he let out and leaned closer so he could get a better view.

“There,” Cas said.

“Thank you. Thank you so much Cas,” Y/N hugged him. At the same time, Derek opened his eyes and sat up with a gasp.

“I have the bullet!” Scott ran through the door just a few seconds later.

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

After Stiles went home, Derek took Y/N, Scott, and Cas to the hospital. He wanted to show Scott how kind is the family of hunters he likes so much. Y/N was there as a support and Cas just tagged along. They walked through the corridors until they got to the room Derek wanted Scott to see.

“Why are we here?” Scott asked, looking around the room.

“Who is he?” He asked again when he saw the man in a wheelchair.

“That’s Peter Hale,” Y/N mumbled loud enough for the wolves to hear. Derek nodded.

“He is my uncle.”

“Is he… Like you? A werewolf?” Scott looked like he was scared to move.

“He was. Now, he’s barely even human. Six years ago, my sister and I were at school. Our house caught on fire. There were eleven people inside. He was the only survivor.”

“And you are telling me because…?” Y/N groaned. Scott was so dumb.

“He’s telling you because the Argents set the fire,” Y/N explained.

“What makes you so sure?” Y/N was ready to jump at Scott and beat him up with the bullet she had in her pocket.

“Because they were the only ones that knew about us!” Derek said angrily.

“Should I heal him?” Castiel asked and everyone in the room stopped what they were doing. They all slowly turned to look at him (except Peter of course). Y/N blinked a few times and then exchanged a few looks with Derek, who looked like he might pass out.

“You can heal him?”

“I mean, I did cure you from the wolfsbane. I think few burns are nothing.” Castiel explained himself. Y/N frowned.

“But the brain trauma- and-” Castiel placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I pulled your brother out of hell Y/N, I also took on your other brother’s pain which sent me into a mental hospital. I am still not quite okay but I will help whenever I can.” Castiel said and took a few steps towards Peter. He placed his hand on Peter’s head and let it glow, letting the angel magic do its thing. They all watched as Peter’s scars disappeared and his eyes started sparking with life. Just as the last few scars vanished his eyes shone blue, making Derek respond with his own blue ones.

“Thank you,” Derek said as he looked from Castiel to his uncle, who was now looking around trying to understand what was going on. Cas only nodded and turned towards Y/N to smile at her. Y/N knew he was ready to go. She waved at him and watched him teleport away. Scott was standing in the corner of the room looking confused as hell.

“Come on Scott, let’s leave them to catch up,” the Winchester said. Derek shot her a thankful look as he watched her and Scott go.

“You really need to explain who the man in the trenchcoat is,” Scott mumbled.

“I will when Stiles is there also. I don’t feel like explaining it twice.”

#stiles stilinski x reader #derek hale #y/n winchester #stiles x reader #teen wolf rewrite #castiel #sam winchester #chris argent #peter hale #magic bullet #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #supernatural x reader #might be different from spn canon

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narrynukezankielover · 2 months

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Got to say they don’t put enough Cas in Supernatural. Misha is adorable and an amazing actor yet they didn’t use him enough. Next I’m not as pissed off either Sam as I was now knowing he had no soul (beginning of season 6). I was extremely pissed at him for takeing a year to tell Dean he had been back from hell but now knowing he can’t help but not care I’m not as pissed at him. I hate Sam anyway so I’ll always have a reason to be a little pissed at him.

It’s funny to see the difference between how Cas talks to Dean versus Sam especially when they are mad at each other in the conversation. In the scene where Dean gets Cas there because he thought some heavenly instrument was in town (I’m sorry I can’t remember ep numbers or names). Dean started yelling at Cas but after 3 years of knowing Dean Cas didn’t take it personally and just poured him a drink. All of a sudden Dean softened up. He then just asked Cas what was going on. Yet when Sam got Cas to earth by lying to him you can tell Cas didn’t want to deal with him. Then Sam threatening him made Cas go back to the way he was in early season 4. He got right in Sam’s face called him boy and made sure Sam knew he wasn’t afraid of him.

Cas and Deans reaction to Sam saying Cas and Sam are friends was hilarious. Cas head tilt was a you just threatened my life and now you’re saying we’re friends?

This is definitely a look of you’re friends? Since when?

I also love how they are showing Cas and Dean are a team now. When they are interrogating someone usually it’s one of them that is doing all the questions and then the other will pick up for them. Like when they were trying to figure out what was wrong with Sam and Cas was asking him a lot of questions Dean told Sam to answer whatever Cas asks him. It’s also great to see that Dean knew he wouldn’t be able to help Sam by himself and let someone else take over. I feel like earlier seasons Dean wouldn’t have done that. Like he would’ve thought he could do it all himself. It’s nice to see Dean changeing and learning. Same as when Cas was asking Crowley if he could help get Sams soul back Dean yelled at Crowley to answer him and when Dean was asking the angel in the oil fire (there is no way I’m going to spell his name right so I’m not trying. It’s the angel at the beginning of the season I think ep 3. Cas thought he was dead but he faked his own death) Dean was asking him questions and Cas yelled at him to answer Dean. I read a while ago someone said that the first time Cas seen Dean as Dean and not his soul was when Cas became human but if in that ep Cas had to reach into Sam to figure out what was wrong obviously he can’t see their souls. Am I missing something or is that maybe something that changes later on?

I seen Cas being jealous back in season 4 when Dean kissed Anna but I’ve been waiting to see Dean being jealous of Cas. I finally got to see it. Meg flirting with Cas really got to Dean.

This is a pissed off Dean look. You can tell he’s really trying to control himself.

This is a how dare you kiss my angel look.

After Cas and Meg kiss Dean goes from did you really just do that?

To she looked satisfied. Cas is a good kisser? In less then 2 seconds. I have been waiting for the pizza man episode and it was great.

When Dean said he was going to give Cas an hour with Meg and Cas said what for? At first I thought he just didn’t know about sex but he does know. He said before that other angels do it he just never had the opportunity. So now I’m thinking it was Cas makeing sure Dean knew he don’t want to have sex with her.

#castiel #dean winchester #cockles #dean x castiel #destiel

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orionsangel86 · 1 year

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Aa someone who pretty much threw away all their hope as soon as SPN cons started up again after the finale, it is a really crazy position to be in now to have to once again adjust my views and reconsider everything thats been said over the last 2.5 years.

I quit spn fandom and stopped paying attention to cast interviews because frankly:

Jared literally does nothing but spew the absolute worst most rancid takes I have ever heard to the point that I genuinely believe the man is completely deranged and has no idea about the show he filmed for 15 years

Misha has basically given up hope and stopped caring. He started off fighting to ensure people took the confession seriously, and seemed genuinely proud and passionate about ensuring people understood the love confession was legit and Cas knew exactly what he was saying, but over the years it seemed like he was broken down behind the scenes and forced to toe a company line of ambiguity for some unknown suspicious reason. Now he's back to resorting to jokes most of the time.

Jackles though, Jackles has until this point always been a fucking head fuck of a mystery. The "sexy silence" post finale. The sole interactions being with Misha and about the confession. The way he gushed about the confession shortly after it aired before the finale. Then the production company, The Winchesters, the J2 messy public fallout and cringy PR fake reassurance of love for his "brother". The fact that in every con up until this point he has kept any answers about the confession abiguous and deliberately vague - always playing both sides, always trying to keep ALL fans happy whatever they believe about the show. The attempt to explain it as Cas not feeling love the way humans do at one point (much to fandoms horror).

I admit I have joked many times about the "jackles long con" (the conspiracy theory that ever since he found out how spn has ended he has personally been on a war path to fix things and give us a satisfactory ending for Dean and Cas) but I was always in 2 minds about whether it was legit a thing. I believed he wanted to fix Dean's ending somehow yes, but I always figured Cas's story was an afterthought the same way Sam's was. I had no delusions that Jackles would legit want to give closure to the confession and give us reciprocated Destiel - whatever that may look like. It just didn't seem like a thing Jackles would want to do. Save Dean? Yes definitely. But actually make it canon that Dean is bisexual and madly in love with his angelic best friend? Even on his most Destiel friendly days I have never been able to truly believe that.

But this latest response from him at jibcon is veerrrry interesting. To plainly state that he hopes the confession is addressed. That he wants to see that. Its the first time he's ever mentioned it in non vague terms.

Look I have no hope of a fanfiction style sappy romantic destiel reunion scene in the Winchesters or whatever. But for Jensen to genuinely give a clear and thoughtful response about what he thinks that would look like, that he thinks Dean would want to talk about that, and address it, that is certainly progress beyond anything we've had from him before.

One of my friends in our group chat raised the thought of Jackles addressing the confession only to have Dean tell Cas he's sorry, but he doesn't feel the same way. THAT is a terrifying thought, but I gotta ask, would Jackles really do such a thing? He knows exactly how much Destiel means to the fans. He knows how important it is, hell, he was online watching the Nov 5th fallout along with everyone else. If it wasnt important, it wouldn't have trended above the US election. He would alienate the majority of his fanbase. Remember, he has already technically picked a side - something I thought he would never do. The Jared stans and bronlies and Destiel haters all loathe him now. They curse his name as much as Misha's ever since he dared to exclude Sam/Jared from The Winchesters. Jensen isn't an idiot, he knows who his main fanbase is, and that is proved even more obvious by The Winchesters itself, which according to my friends who watch it, is very pro Destiel. My friend described it as what SPN could have been were it not for Jared and Bob Singer - a kinder, friendlier, queerer, and more equal, show. I haven't watched it so I can't comment, but I see so many people say that this among other recent behaviours proves that Jackles is on our side.

I am of course still a bit hesitant to give him so much credit. I'm not gonna stamp him with a big HELLER FRIEND stamp like the one we stamped on Misha years ago. But I am feeling more positive towards him than I have in ages.

Ever since the confession, the official stance on Destiel seems to be to keep it as vague and ambiguous as possible. To never confirm or deny anything especially when it comes to Dean. This has been frustrating, but has kept the door open at least.

By Jackles stating today that he wants the confession addressed and even hinting that it may be in the cards sooner rather than later, tells me that a decision has possibly been made.

The ambiguity has got to go. Dean either reciprocates or he doesn't. Those are the only options available.

If, as it has so often been teased and alluded to, Cas is going to make an appearance in The Winchesters, Jackles would surely need to get Misha on board with his plans. Misha who has been firmly on the side of Destiel since day 1. Would Misha really agree to step back into Cas's shoes only to have his heart broken by a rejection from the man he loves? I don't think he would.

So surely, the only way for the confession to be addressed is to go with the other option. Full reciprocation.

Who else is there to even object anymore? Jared? Fuck that guy? Bob Singer? That old asshole has no power anymore. The CW? Maybe. I dunno what Jackles situation is with the execs and how much power he has over the Winchesters stories. But perhaps he's been able to convince them? Given the state of queer media in 2022 and how rapidly the world has moved on from tolerating CW style queerbait.

Shows like OFMD, Good Omens, The Sandman, IWTV, WWDITS, etc etc... they have proven that queer is popular. It brings in cash. The CW has always been sitting on a goldmine with Destiel, which has never really stopped being popular, even now. They were fools to not go all the way the first time around, and after the queer media boom of 2022 they look like even bigger fools. I still have my own beliefs about the circumstances that prevented a proper destiel ending (mostly to do with the business of the one star the CW were holding onto at that time and his stupid cop propoganda show) but considering all that has happened since then, were the CW given another chance to explore Destiel now, I think they'd be absolute fools not to take it.

Anyway, the point of all my rambling is this: I think I'm back on board. Laying it all out logically, if Jackles is gonna address this, he's gonna do it in the way that will be the most popular, and generate the most publicity, engagement, and ultimately, cash.

In other words: we may see yet ANOTHER "Destiel is canon" day before the decade is over.

#destiel #jackles long con #*puts on clown makeup again*#i mean it could also just NOT happen #but bringing cas into the winchesters surely means him and dean would need to interact #and that brings up the confession #so yeah #i guess that man has his hooks in me again #sigh #hope is a dangerous thing #and i have been burned before #but fuck it #hope it is

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scoobydoodean · 7 months

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I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

#mail #soulless jack killing mary is popularly regarded as an accident... but it's pretty transparent that it wasn't?#or rather it was on purpose but he regretted it the second after it happened. but that is still. Something he chose to do. Not an accident.#He saw her as a threat to his relationship with Sam and Dean and he acted.#This is indicated right before he kills her. He admits it outright also right before calling it an accident which unravels that whole idea.#It wasn’t pre-meditated but in that moment he wanted her to die. She was going to tell everyone there was something wrong with him.#And he did not want that.#It wasn't an accident and he can't handle his own culpability because it threatens his belief that he can make things be the way they were #before it happened. Which is why he killed her to begin with! He didn't want anyone to know/think anything was wrong with him!#And just like soulless Jack just wants everyone to forget about it and act like nothing happened and he's fine...#Many fans want Dean to forget about it. They want Dean to believe and say and feel and think that Mary did not matter.#And that being upset at her literal murder (even if it was an accident—which it was not) is bad and evil.#And Sam's great capacity for numbness (which we already saw in season 13) strengthen's their own lack of empathy for Dean #in a situation that in real life they would understand unless they're actual psychopaths.#It's only because Dean is a character in a narrative representing the need/capacity to be loved and accepted at all #that these demands that his thoughts and feelings bend to everyone else's emotional needs become so disturbingly intrusive #dont feed the stans after midnight #and cas is my best friend #hot girl cas

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hauntedpearl · 2 years

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oh okay okay okay hear me out: dean's widower arc 2: electric boogaloo that is post-canon pre-empty rescue moments. people have talked about how he leaves cas texts and voicemails and yes that fucks so hard like!!!! can you imagine!!!!

at first it's mostly a lot of angry, helpless drunken ramblings. this is like pre 15x19, let's say when he's like alone alone. he'll be like come back, you son of a bitch! he'll be like how dare you. he'll curse and yell and cry and brokenly say, you had me, cas. we had each other. but then lucifer calls him and it's so fucked up dean can't bring himself to pull up cas' contact for a while. they beat god. they get their lives back. jack comes back to them (he must!!!). their lives are theirs again and dean's determined to look for a way to get cas back. his voicemails are now everyday updates. he tells cas about jack. about sam and eileen. about a thing he's cooking. about what research is like. he still gets drunk and says dumb shit sometimes but then he'll apologize in the next voicemail. it's like prayer but it makes him feel better that it's a tangible thing. it makes him feel like cas is actually listening. the illusion of cas' life is easier to maintain when the phone against his ear is solid and cold and grounding in a way.

when cas comes back, they figure out that cas' phone's just lying around the bunker somewhere. Dean finds it, but doesn't give it back to cas right away. they exist in this limbo where it means so much that dean spent so much time to get cas back and that he risked so much to rescue him, but all these months of pouring his heart out to a phantom still doesn't prepare him for the real thing. cas, for his part, is just happy to be back but he's also very wary and is perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop. they go on like that for a bit until it all comes to a head at some point because cas has misplaced guilt and dean has misplaced anger and it's always a bad combination and cas is like maybe i should go and dean's so mad he just stalks up to his room and brings cas ' phone to him and he's like do whatever you want. and then he goes to his room to just drops to the floor, head in his hands. cas turns on his phone and yep. all these texts and missed calls. and then the voicemails. he spends the night listening to them and then he FINALLY SEES it and goes to find Dean in the early hours of the dawn and dean's still on the floor against his bed and cas settles down next to him and they don't say anything for a bit but then cas just turns and hugs him and buries his face in dean's hair and hey look it's not everything but it's a start and they're gonna be okay. like. suddenly they're both aware that they have the rest of their lives. and like. IT'S SO. HMM. LOSING MY MIND THIS MORNING!

#HI IT'S LITERALLY 7 IN THE MORNING IS TJE REST OF THE DAY GONNA BE LIKE THIS FOR ME!!!!!!!#i am just thinking overwhelming destiel.thoughts today oh nooooo #spn headcanons #doe is talking again #destiel #like ofc i think prayer but also VOICEMAILS #ALSO LETTERS I THINK #i always think about how desn probably journalled so much in cas' absence #mostly out of habit but also like. it's ONE WAY HE CSN BE HIMSELF RIGHT #like. he can say i love you and he vantbe vulnerable and scared and stupid and it feels easier when it's not words pushing past his lips #he probably also sketches cas all the time. these doodles that he will then stare at when cas is dead because he didn't think to take #enough pictures before #and then when cas comes back he takes SO MANY photos of him and they're mostly badly framed and blurry but #HE WON'T STOP #he'll print some out like.he printed out the tombstone picture #he'll make albums bc he wants something to hold on to this time #when it happens for the last time #WHEEEEEEE ANYWAY

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valleydean · 1 year

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Chapter 6 [Read Here]

HEAVYWEIGHT a deancas boxing au by valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) read from beginning | playlist | ko-fi

SUMMARY: Brooklyn, 1927. The Golden Age of Boxing. Two years ago, light heavyweight champion Dean Winchester and heavyweight champion Castiel Novak had a secret affair. After a scandal tarnished Cas’ name and stripped him of his title, the two parted ways. Now, with a heavyweight tournament on the horizon, Dean aims to up his weight class so he can compete for the title. He finds unexpected competition when Cas comes out of retirement and returns to New York to fix his reputation. Upon their reunion, the two contenders learn that, outside of the ring, some bruises never really heal.

PREVIEW:

The morning light slanting against the floral wallpaper of the opposite wall was the first thing Castiel saw when he woke up.

The grazed skin on his knuckles had scabbed over in the night and were now radiating with an intense burning. His pulse thrummed in his right cheekbone and eyebrow where they were smooshed against his pillow. His nose was as stiff as plaster. The cut on his lip felt like it was trying to tear his mouth into two as if it was a piece of flimsy tissue paper. When he breathed, his bruised stomach hurt where it was pressed against the mattress.

But he was enveloped in warmth, and the bed he laid upon had never been so comfortable, the blankets never so plush. Dean was laying half on top of him, his naked chest against the small of Castiel’s back, his cheek nestled between Castiel’s shoulder blades. His knee was hooked around Castiel’s calf; and, on the mattress, his arm rested over Castiel’s, palm pressed atop the back of his hand.

All the skin-on-skin contact made Castiel feel sticky and overheated, but he didn’t care. He wanted to stay absolutely the way he was for as long as possible.

Last night had been… unexpected, to say the least. Some parts were much better than others. In his half-awake state, Castiel almost convinced himself it was a dream.

As gently as he could, he lifted his head and tried to look over his shoulder. In the corner of his eye, Dean was still sleeping soundly.

He wanted to turn over, to put Dean’s head on his chest and watch him sleep, but he wouldn’t dare move. He was terrified it would wake Dean up—and then, Castiel didn’t know what would happen. Would Dean regret last night? Would he pull away from Castiel? There had been so much distance between them for so long, and Castiel missed him so very much. He wanted to stay close, back to chest.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before Dean grunted.

Castiel’s heart seized. He put his head back down, not wanting to be caught. Maybe, if he pretended he was still asleep, he wouldn’t have to meet Dean’s regret and aggression. Maybe Dean would slip out silently and leave Castiel to nurse his wounds both inside and out. His pulse slammed against his chest, and he feared Dean could hear it with his ear pressed to Castiel’s back.

Dean inhaled audibly through his nose, waking up fully.

Castiel felt him tense. Instantly, sorrow flooded his gut.

But then it all drained away when Dean’s palm pressed down fully against his hand and he twined their fingers together.

Castiel’s eyes were wide open. He tried to bite down on a smile, but it was difficult to do, especially when Dean nuzzled his nose against his shoulder.

Dean dropped a kiss there, and then another an inch away. Castiel felt the words forming against his skin when Dean said, “I know you’re awake.”

Castiel couldn’t help it. He smiled.

“You don’t breathe like that when you’re sleeping,” Dean told him. Castiel had no idea what he was talking about, but it hardly seemed important.

He got a hold of his expression before detangling their limbs and rolling over to face Dean. The linens rustled. Dean rolled onto his side and draped his arm over Castiel’s ribs when Castiel settled. Purpling bruises were blotched against his freckles. Scabs smattered his temple and jaw. He looked as delicate as porcelain like that, like something Castiel wanted to put on a shelf so no one would ever shatter him.

Castiel admired the hollow of Dean’s collarbone and the rounded muscles of his shoulder peeking out above the blanket before glancing back up. Dean’s green eyes stared back at him. He appeared well-rested. Castiel was glad.

“Good morning, Dean.”

A sleepy smile formed on Dean’s lips. “Hey.” His fingertips skimmed Castiel’s skin. Beneath the covers, their feet brushed. Castiel’s stomach fluttered.

“How are you feeling?” Castiel asked, eyeing Dean’s bruises and cuts, sorry that he had any part in inflicting them.

Dean closed his eyes tiredly, his lashes fanning out like sun rays. “Like I got run over by a truck. How ‘bout you? About the same?”

Again, Castiel found himself trying not to smile. “About the same.”

Dean chuckled, and it was infectious. Castiel was still grinning when Dean blinked his eyes open again.

Castiel was so in love with him.

“Bet I know a way to make it better,” Dean said.

It only made Castiel beam more, despite the way the cut on his lip stretched. He played along, “Do you?”

Dean hummed and leaned in, eyes once again closed. As Dean slotted their mouths together, Castiel watched him in the close proximity for a moment before closing his eyes too and kissing back. It was a tender kiss. Castiel had almost forgotten how gentle Dean could be.

/////

TAGGED: @lovercas @donestiel @wanderingcas @wayward-angels-club @thetiredstuff @skella-bro @casthegrumpy @celestialcastiel @bluefirecas @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets @that-one-fandom-chick @haru-park96 @alejandriaiqq @no-aesthetic-all-aethetic @amirosebooks @epple-benene @agus-likes @the-ship-haz-sailed @justkissalreadyforfucksake @madimoo31 @an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter @gracelesstars @bazghetti @wayward-waffles @theojaxons @jenmishrob @all-or-nothing-baby @auttownblue @leftistdean @sargafust @wannabe-loser @jessalrynn @splicedthoughts @castielss @that-dumbass-on-a-horse @passionfruixts @fabreagab @princesswinchester100 @superduckbatrebel @hopefuldreamers-world@theangelwiththewormstache @casandeans @mylovelydame21 @confusedisaster @superduckbatrebel @destielwentcanonomg @highest-brightness @i-put-the-ayyy-in-asexual @darkacademiagay @imthedoctorlove @freckledean @youcanteverknowenough @chicken-kebabs @myguardianangelisatrickster @hotactiongirlcoded @wingsandimpalas @casandhumanity @tploz @dontsgotalifee389 @on-a-bender @castiel-mybeloved @siriusseverusdeservedbetter @doctorprofessorsong @castielshotgirlsummer @toomuchheartcas @paintdriesfaster @lesbiancowboyy @angelinthefire @transdeantruther @fluffy-alpacaness @rogue-cas-whore @winchester-derangement-syndrome @lizzybennettdarcy @kineticpassion @i-love-books-and-so-do-you @dascean @llamasdumpsterfire @psychicbouquetblaze-stuff @im-some-lionheart @charlie-bradburi @bunnymcbunnister @gothanna @afeelingsosweet @sinnabonka @artsymoth @cassandrablah @sweetpeaalena @goiwantamuffin @rauko-is-a-free-elf @jessalrynn @ungcl @highwarlockofinnsbruck @deancaskiss @caddy-coo @bloodydeanwinchester @hannibalsthembo @proudpigeon @butterscotchdean @this-is-me19 @layofcastiel @claire-drinks-lovely-lemonade @harleycao @jgvfhl @thembo-cowboy @aussie-twat @slit-wrist @ilikemanythingsespeciallyyou

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in chapters or if you’d like to be taken off the list.

#destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #cas #destiel fic #deancas fic #my post #my writing #boxing au #heavyweight

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wormstacheangel · 2 years

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suptober ten: enchanted

The bunker was slowly becoming home again now that everyone he loved was under its roof but the awkwardness between him and his once-again-resurrected-best-friend was starting to weigh on him. Sure they spoke their fucking truth when they finally reunited again. Confessing in the rain like a couple of romcom assholes but nobody ever told the fucking story about how awkward this will all be for a couple of emotionally constipated grown men.

And while sure, Dean always wished there was some sort of way they could just skip this awkward phase and go straight into being comfortable with each other again but a fucking curse really wasn’t what he had in mind to get them to start talking.

“Dean, I need my hand back.” Cas squeezed Dean’s hand before letting go, his fingers wiggling while Dean still didn’t dare let go. “I’ll be right back.” With a sad looking smile, Cas tugged his arm back, disappearing as soon their contact broke.

Dean’s fear was brought to life, his loneliness and losing Cas, all at once by a very unhelpful witch. A witch they lost and he will drag back to Rowena as soon as he gets his hands on her.

They really didn’t understand the curse fully yet, Sam and Eileen across the fucking pond working on whatever over there so they were on their own for now.

All they knew for now was whenever they touched Cas was visible and whenever their touch broke, it felt like Cas was never there in the first place. It felt empty and suffocating all over again.

He absolutely hated every second of it, spending that time knowing that he wasn’t actually alone. That Cas was just in the bathroom and he’ll come back and make him feel whole again.

“Dean.” He felt a hand on his shoulder and there he appeared. “I think we should call Sam.”

Cas sounded scared, his eyes wide with fear as Dean’s hand traveled to wrap back up with Cas’s own.

“Why? What’s wrong? What happened?”

It took Cas a moment to talk again. Looking back into Dean with uncertainty but calmness. “I…I think I’m um, I’m fading away.”

Dean’s stomach drops. No more bathroom brakes alone.

#suptober22 #wormstachewrites #fic

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crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell · 1 year

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The Crowley Tour

6x10 "Caged Heat"

I had this funny imagine where a demon is complaining to Crowley about how Sam and Dean tortured him and Crowley is like "same here. You know what I did?" "What did you do, sir?" "I SHRUGGED IT OFF!"

Like Meg is crushing Crowley's internal organs and Crowley is just like bruh? Really? This is torture?

I laugh so hard thinking of that moment

Crowley wanting to use a speculum as a torture instrument. LMAO. That's what they use to give ladies and trans men, pap smears. Even during torture he makes innuendo jokes. Never change Crowley. Never change

When Crowley says his sources are unimpeachable it makes me wonder is he referring to himself? Because Crowley said in season 7 "I have it on good authority ..." and turns out Crowley was talking about his authority. Is Crowley talking about himself as an unimpeachable source?

I admire how good Crowley is at gathering information. Crowley sapta post about the Leviathans that explain that more

Guess I kind of lost my head

After he chops off the head of a shapeshifter that looks like him. What a witty line

I love how Cas is protecting Crowley 🥺 "Crowley's hidden from me" even though he knows where Crowley is

Crowley just had his suit dry cleaned and they had the audacity to mess it up? Unbelievable! How dare they

He leg sweeps Meg, grabs the knife, stands up in 2 seconds. The reaction time was impressive

Also when Cas says to Crowley leave them alone, there isn't much anger in Cas' eyes. Foreshadowing their partnership

Crowley was really good at acting worried about Cas having his fake bones. He didn't overact and he didn't underact either. Plus Crowley is able to create illusions of him being burned to ash. Can Crowley make other illusions?

As soon as Cas burned the fake bones Crowley reacted immediately. No hesitation. Was it planned? Or is Crowley quick on his feet? Either way it's impressive

Castiel and Crowley parallel each other. Both of them are good at making deception seem believable. They don't oversell themselves or undersell themselves. For example when Crowley saw the fake bones he didn't go into a wide eyed anxiety attack because that's not Crowley. He also didn't act calm and unbothered. He gulped and tried to bargain his way out of it

Parallel to that Cas was intelligent enough to be believably deceptive as well

It's amazing how similar they are

Ummm episode rating for Crowley is 9 out of 10

#crowley spn #supernatural #crowstiel #castiel #the crowley tour #spn 6x10 #meg masters #spn meta #spn review #sam winchester #dean winchester #crowstiel parallel

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castieldelamancha · 9 months

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Dean considers these days, with Cas back by his side, the best days of his life,

and still,

it isn't all a path of roses, easy and joyful. Dean didn't expect it to be, he isn't that much of an idiot. They still have their nightmares, their sorrow, their need for space and their fear of losing it all. They argue sometimes, too. Specially because of Dean's mother hen tendencies when it comes to Cas. That's what they have been arguing about for the last ten minutes anyway.

"I might not be an angel anymore but I can take care of myself just fine," Dean opens his mouth, he is going to say he knows that but he doesn't get the chance to do so, Castiel gives him a look, shutting him up rather effectively "don't you dare say you already know that, it's not what I am seeing from you."

"I worry, man, I don't think that's a crime," Dean flops down on a nearby chair, not minding one bit the fact he is getting mud and blood all over it, "you are human now, and our lives are way more fragile than we would like them to be I, Cas, I can't-" his words die in his throat, he looks away, he takes a deep breath.

He doesn't need to finish the sentence for Cas to understand, he always does, suddenly he is standing in front of Dean, using his hand to tilt his chin up, his expression has soften as has his tone.

"I want to be your equal," he says, "walk this path hand in hand with you, I don't want to be hiding behind you, I need you to understand that."

Dean shoulders sag down as the annoyance he was feeling leaves his body, annoyance at Cas risking his life for him, annoyance at Cas because he decided not to follow the plan, annoyance at Cas' rejection of his well intended worry. There is a new anger rising in the pit of his stomach. This one addressed at himself, there is a trace of sadness too.

How dare him try to turn Cas into a shadow, a being full of so much light? Not the light of his power, the one now gone, the light of his will to fight, the light of a heart that loves without limits, the light of his bravery, of his laughter and passion.

He is scared, so scared, of losing him again, "I understand, I know we've talked about this before and I know I've failed you, because I told you I was going to back up, but I haven't, you saved my ass, and for that I thank you, it's just," he tilts his head as Cas' hand moves from his chin to his cheek, he won't let Castiel tell him his life isn't worth more than Dean's, as he always does, "I failed you, that first time, and I don't want to do so again, I've even seen how I failed human you and myself too in other parallel reality," he saw Castiel lose himself completely, he made him promise he wouldn't change, Castiel doesn't say anything, already familiar with the things Dean saw in that world Zachariah sent him to.

"You know better than anyone that this world, this human life, it all comes with a price and that price is pain, not always, but it's a part of it, I am being as careful as I can, and I need you to trust me. I am still myself, just not as durable as I was before."

"I do, I trust you," Dean rushes to say, getting up from the chair to stand in front of Cas, his hand still on his cheek, Dean reaches with his own closing it over Castiel's, "with my life, you know that."

"There is a big difference between this time and those other two and that difference is us, we are together in a way that makes us stronger, we head side by side into battle, we love each other in a way those other versions of ourselves couldn't, you haven't failed me, you are here, that's enough, you are enough, you haven't failed me," he repeats again, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"I won't hold as tightly, I will let you breathe," and that's a promise he plans to keep, he won't make Castiel regret his humanity, he won't push him away, never again as he has done before.

He won't let go, though, he won't let Cas fall, and by the small smile that has appeared on Cas' face he can tell he knows what Dean is thinking.

Castiel's hand leaves his cheek and moves to the back of his neck pulling him closer so they can share a hug.

"I am scared too, Dean, I would love to be able to protect you from any harm, but you know you wouldn't like it the other way around, it wouldn't be fair, not to you or to me or to the both of us as a team."

Dean only nods, his arms wrapped around Castiel, they are a team, Castiel deserves his trust not his fear.

#destiel #long post #ficlet #vanessa writes ✨#i uhm well yeah here you go #¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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castielific · 6 months

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I just saw this on facebook and ohmygod I need to read a fic like this.

And how would John react to Castiel and the intense friendship he has with his son.s? Imagine the scene when Mary meets Cas for the first time...but with John instead.

Damn, this would be such an interesting story.

I mean, I'm kind of glad they didn't do it in the show because they probably would have done it wrong (regarding my headcanon at least). But damn, this storyline could be gold.

Does anyone know of a fic like that? Or one where John comes back in another way?

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #john winchester #john winchester's a+ parenting #destiel #spn fic #spn ao3

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narrynukezankielover · 3 months

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To start with I admit I don’t really like the first 3 seasons. It’s the same thing over and over again and it’s boring. Apparently it’s called villain of the week and I’m not a fan of that. I much prefer the way season 4 and 5 are done. Yes there are still eps where they are just hunting a monster but at least there’s a story to it all. If I was watching back when it was actually on or I didn’t know what future eps were going to be like I would’ve stopped after the first few eps or the first season. I just knew the storyline was going to change so I suffered through it. The only thing that made that easier was Dean. I knew Cas was going to be my fave character (and he is) so I really wanted to get to season 4 to see him and thank god I did.

Now to season 5. I know later on Dean really can’t handle Cas being dead but it’s amazing that it started only a year after knowing him. Chuck told Dean and Sam that Cas was dead. He blew up there was no way he survived that but Dean wasn’t going to accept that. He was like maybe this happened or maybe that happened the guy was not accepting there was even a chance Cas was dead. Same thing in the 5 years later ep when the past Dean realized what future Dean was doing to his friends he said “even Cas?” It was like it’s bad enough you’re sending these people you consider friends to get killed but how dare you do that to Cas. Even with the trickster ep (I’m sorry I don’t remember the names of these eps or what number they are just first half of season 5) when the trickster got rid of Cas Dean even said how worried he was about Cas and then threatened him to bring Cas back. Yet Sam didn’t really seem to care. He had plenty of time to say I wonder what happened to Cas or I hope Cas is ok but nope. I like paying attention to that stuff because people try to say that the three of them are just best friends. These scenes show that Cas and Dean have a much more special bond then just best friends. Cas and Sam at this point I don’t think are even friends. Cas seems to get annoyed when he has to talk to Sam.

I’m also paying attention to the way they are wording things. I’m assuming up to ep 2 Dean thought Cas rebelled because he wanted to or to get away from heaven or the other angels. I like that Cas got in Deans face and said “…I rebelled for you.” He didn’t say because of you. If he said because of you it would sound like Cas wanted to disobey and Dean helped him but he said for you which means he did it to help Dean. Also he didn’t say for you and Sam or so you could help Sam he just mentioned Dean (I guess Dean forgot that in season 4 ep 22 once he said “im done” to Cas that’s when Cas changed his mind. I’m done sounds like I’m never talking to you again and that’s what got to Cas). Also in the trickster ep when Cas found Dean and Sam he said “you’ve been missing for 3 days.” Again he didn’t say you two or you and Sam he said you. Which leads me to believe he was only looking for Dean and he was looking at Dean the whole time. I know this show (including Misha and Jensen) pick their words carefully. Like when Misha said it warmed the Cockles of his heart or when Jensen said his wife calls Misha her boyfriend which is funny cause so do I. I think he choose those words because you can’t tell if he’s saying he also calls Misha her boyfriend or he himself calls Misha his boyfriend. Personally though if it was me and I meant I call Misha my wife’s boyfriend I would say which is funny cause I do that too but if I meant I call Misha my boyfriend I would say so do I.

I noticed that when Cas seen Crowley and that guy kiss he didn’t react at all. He wasn’t surprised or disgusted nothing. Yet when Dean went to that gay sex place (the ep with the magicians) and when he was talking to the two gay guys he was more nervous then anything. If he was homophobic he would’ve been disgusted and if he was straight he would’ve probably had no reaction but he was nervous as hell in both scenes and after he talked to the two guys and they told him his life didn’t suck he was playing with his keys smiling. It was a thinking about someone kind of smile though. Could’ve been thinking about a certain angel. Back to Cass reaction when Dean brought him to the sex place (I know there’s a name on it but it’s bit comeing to my head) he was scared shitless. Obviously it’s not a place an angel would feel comfortable but it looked like more a guy being forced to have sex with a girl by the guy he likes kind of scared. The look on his face honestly made me laugh a little to much.

#castiel #dean winchester #cockles #destiel #dean x castiel

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wikiangela-fanfics · 2 years

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I wish I could save you (I wish I could tell you)

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Words: 4.7k

Description: Dean mourns Cas, and regrets not telling him how he feels. So, as soon as they get him back, he decides to be more honest than he's ever been.

Ao3

Haven't written them for a year and missed it too much haha might be ooc and parts are forced but idc, I like it hah

***

Dean’s sitting at the table in the bunker library, a half-empty bottle of whiskey and an unused glass next to him, and a knife in hand. He’s in the process of carving Castiel’s name into the table next to their initials, anger bubbling up under his skin, together with growing despair. He’s always so angry, and now he’s not sure where he should direct it. He’s mad at the Empty for taking Cas, at Cas for making stupid deals and not telling him about it, at Chuck for creating this whole mess… But that anger is almost overcome by the crushing feelings of hopelessness and defeat. They won, and yet he feels defeated. They might have saved the world, but the truth is, he lost his.

So, he sits there and drinks. He just wants to stop feeling this way, even just for a minute. He feels on the verge of either crying or punching something, which would preferably result in getting hurt too. He wants to do something. To try to feel something other than his heart breaking a little more every time he recalls his last moments with Cas. Every time he recalls being so stunned and shocked he actually couldn’t tell Cas-

“Hey, you okay?” he hears Sam’s tentative voice from the entrance.

“Peachy.” he grunts, taking a long sip of whiskey straight from the bottle.

“Do you- Do you wanna talk?” Sam cautiously approaches the table.

“Do I ever?” Dean finally looks at his brother with a raised eyebrow, but then immediately regrets it, seeing the concern on his face. Concern for Dean. He doesn’t want Sam to worry about him, he’s fine. Well, he’s not fine, but he can deal with it on his own, like always.

The world almost ended, again, and Sam is worried about Dean. Again. Why is it always him? Why can’t some other bastard suffer for once? What did he do to deserve this? No, seriously, he, Sam and Cas have saved the world so many times now. Why are they destined to suffer? Chuck isn’t even around anymore, and this shitshow continues. Dean genuinely doesn’t know what to do with his life now. He can’t imagine a future without Cas, he never thought he’d have to. Despite the fights and falling-outs, he honestly thought, or even expected, that they’d be together forever, as best friends or… or what he didn’t dare hope for, but as it happens, could’ve had if he wasn’t so stupid.

“Dean.” Sam’s voice gets through his thoughts, and he realizes Sam’s been talking for a while, and a single tear is falling down Dean’s face now. He angrily wipes it away, going back to carving. Sam sits down next to him with a heavy sigh. “I know-” he starts, but Dean cuts him off.

“You don’t.”

“I know it’s about Cas. Obviously.” Sam finishes anyway, and Dean’s hand stills at hearing the name, the tip of the knife hovering over the first line of the letter E. “You know, you can talk to me about him if you want. I know it’s not-” he pauses abruptly, clears his throat, and instead says: “Uh, I miss him too. Will you ever tell me about what actually happened to him?”

“What’s there to say?” Dean asks dryly, taking another sip. “I told you, he summoned the Empty and saved me.”

“Yeah, but-” Sam starts, but Dean interrupts, anger seeping into his voice:

“He made a fucking deal with the fucking Empty. To save Jack.”

“What do you mean?” Sam’s almost whispering, as if he thinks speaking up will spook Dean or something, and he won’t be willing to share anymore. He’s not about to talk about his feelings, though. He missed his chance on that. But he thinks that Sam deserves to know how Cas- how he- how it happened. Cas was Sam’s best friend, too, and they haven’t had the chance to talk about it yet.

“Jack’s life for his. Basically, he, uh, he’s truly happy or some shit, and the Empty comes to collect. More or less.” he tries to sound neutral, but his breath catches in his throat, and he takes another long sip from the bottle, then goes back to carving the name, but despite himself, his mouth keeps moving, his voice quiet. “We were cornered, Billie was just outside the door, about to kill us- I knew I’d have to watch him die again-” his voice breaks and he clears his throat, not even having the energy to feel embarrassed about that. His brother saw him at his lowest multiple times, he doesn’t have to try to hide shit from him or feel embarrassed – or so he’s trying to convince himself. “And then he- well, I guess he had his ‘moment of true happiness’, because the Empty came and took him and Billie, which you already knew.” he shakes his head. “The bastard saved my life and I couldn’t even- Fuck, man.” he takes a deep breath. Thinking about it non-stop is enough to hurt like hell, but talking about it is just too much for him to handle. “Okay, chick-flick moment over. I’m done. Now you know what happened and you can stop bothering me.”

“No, wait, but what did he do? How did he summon the Empty? How did he get happy in those circumstances?” damn Sam and his curiosity.

“He- It doesn’t matter. It’s between me and him. Not like I can do anything about it now.” he chuckles bitterly, gripping the knife so hard his knuckles went white. The blade gleams welcomingly in the faint light of the library lamps, tempting him to wrap his hand around it or run his fingers over it. To draw blood, to feel that pleasant sharp sting. He knows, he remembers, that physical pain could distract him from feeling like his heart was cut out of his chest and left a gaping hole there, even just for a second. “I’m such a stupid asshole.” he adds through gritted teeth.

“Can’t argue with that.” Sam tries for a joke. Dean isn’t kidding, though, and he’s really not in the mood.

“Yeah.” he clears his throat again. “Are we done with this conversation now?” he asks a bit rudely, but he honestly doesn’t give a fuck. He wants to finish carving, adding Jack’s name there, too – he’s not gone gone, but he’s a part of his family – and finish his whiskey, maybe get another bottle to truly numb himself, and then go to bed and quietly sob into his pillow or pass out from drinking too much. And tomorrow, when he’s a bit more sober, he’ll take Baby and drive somewhere he can let it all out, whether by crying or screaming or punching trees until his knuckles bleed. Maybe he needs a hunt, just to channel all that anger into something useful.

“Fine. You mind if I stay here, though? Do some research?” Sam asks, still with that tentativeness in his voice. Dean has no idea what the hell he needs to research right now, it’s not like they have anything to take care of, and it’s pretty late, but he grunts something that’s supposed to mean ‘sure, whatever.’

Then, the room falls silent, save for the sounds of pages turning, books being gently put on the table or back on the shelves, glass clinking against the table, and a knife scraping against wood.

Once both Jack’s and Cas’ names are carved and the bottle is empty, Dean leaves the library, going straight for his room, stopping for another bottle in the kitchen, and leaving Sam still rummaging through books. Dean drinks some more and quietly cries until he passes out.

***

When Dean wakes up, it’s way too early, his head is pounding, and his bladder is way too full after a bottle and a half of alcohol. He goes to the bathroom, catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and immediately turns away, not wanting to see how shitty he looks beyond the red and puffy eyes, which clearly indicate he’s been crying. Then he makes his way towards the kitchen for a bottle of beer – in theory he knows it’s fucked up and really unhealthy that this is his first thought in the morning, but that’s just how he functions, and he’s mourning now, and he really doesn’t give a fuck.

Passing the library he sees Sam still at the table, asleep with his head on the pages of a book opened in front of him. He walks up to him and takes the book out from under his head quickly and swiftly, which causes Sam’s head to bump against the table, and he wakes up.

“You spent the whole night here?” Dean asks, while Sam quietly complains about his forehead hurting now, rubbing the spot where it hit the table. “What are you researching?”

“I’m trying to find a way to bring Cas back.” Sam admits, and Dean freezes, feeling his expression harden. He doesn’t want to start hoping only to be met with disappointment and even more heartache later.

“Don’t.” Dean just grunts, turning to walk away. He can’t get his hopes up. He can’t. If there’s a possibility, he doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t think he’d be able to live if they found a way and then it wouldn’t work out. He’s pretty sure that would send him over the edge – though he is pretty much there already. He’s just one more disappointment away from snapping and really doing something enormously idiotic and reckless.

“Dean.” Sam calls after him. “I know you miss him, and I miss him too. I know it’s a little different for you, though.” he starts and Dean stops in his tracks. What the hell? “And we lost him so many times before, and I saw what that did to you every time. I can’t- I don’t want to see you go through this again. You’re my brother and I want you to be happy. I found my person I can be happy with, and-”

“What do you mean different for me?” Dean interrupts. He knows what Sam meant. He doesn’t want to admit it to his brother, though. He knows each time Cas died they both mourned, but it always hit him harder. He knows why. He’s known for years. He didn’t know Sam knows, though. He keeps standing with his back towards Sam, not able to face him, especially if they were having this conversation.

“You know.” Sam sighs. “Dean, you’re over forty years old. Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped pretending? It’s just me, and I’m not judging you. I’d never. Not about this. And if you weren’t so stubborn and- and repressed, everything could look different.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” he insists stubbornly, probably only proving Sam’s point.

Sam’s voice is quiet and reassuring, though a bit exasperated, when he says: “I know that you see Cas as- as more than just a best friend. I see how you feel about him. And he clearly felt the same.” at that, Dean turns around to look at Sam with surprise. Dean knows that now, after Cas explicitly told him, only to fucking- to die after. How did Sam notice it? Any of it? Was Dean just that much in denial about his own feelings he couldn’t see what was right in front of him? “I’m not dumb. Or blind. I’ve been right there through it all. All twelve years of it. I saw the way you looked at each other, the way you were with each other… how hard it was for you especially whenever we lost him. I know.” he emphasizes.

“What’s up with having a fucking feelings conversation now?” Dean asks after a beat, finally moving to leave the library. He feels uncomfortable and vulnerable, and if he doesn’t get out of there right this second, he might just crumble right in front of Sam. And he only allows for that to happen when there’s no one around.

Dean goes to the kitchen and as he takes the first sip of cold beer, Sam enters.

“Seriously? At this hour?” Sam chastises. He rarely comments on Dean’s drinking, usually settling for only disapproving glances, because whenever he did say something in the past, Dean would either brush him off or get angry. This is none of Sam’s business, and Dean doesn’t care. He stopped caring a long time ago, and now that Cas is gone… He feels almost numb, if it wasn’t for the anger.

“Whatever, dude.” Dean shrugs, downing half the bottle. Sam just sighs heavily, the concern and pity fucking oozing out of his expression. Dean knows Sam just wants to help, he’s his brother, he’s worried, just like Dean gets worried about him all the time… but he swears, if he sees that fucking concerned expression for five more minutes, he will punch Sam. Which is why he probably should just go, instead of letting the anger win. He needs to let it out, but not like this.

“Listen, we can find a way-”

“No, you listen.” he lets a bit of the anger seep into his voice and he hates it. “I lost him.” his voice is shaking and he hates that even more. They both lost Cas, but at this point there’s no reason to pretend Dean feels the same way Sam does. “I always lose him. He either gets killed or leaves, and I’m- I can’t do it again.” he’s shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut, trying to prevent the tears from falling. Not in front of Sam. He hates breaking down in front of anyone, especially his younger brother. He’s supposed to be the strong one, the one to take care of Sammy, not the other way around.

“But he always comes back, too. He came back from the Empty once, remember?” Sam says carefully, and that tone of voice, as if he expects Dean to snap, makes him almost do just that, as he briefly considers throwing the bottle against the wall. He doesn’t, though. He takes a few deep breaths and drinks some more, before putting the bottle on the counter next to him. Lately he feels like he’s fighting with every breath not to let the anger out, as if there’s some anger-demon inside of him trying to break free. Well, that’s how he’s felt for years, it just intensified even more now. “There’s always hope.”

“Sam.” Dean looks at his brother with a pained expression, not able to hide behind the mask just yet, it’s way too early in the morning and he’s too hurt, so he allows himself a few seconds of vulnerability. He’ll beat himself up over it later. “If I let myself hope and it doesn’t work out, I won’t survive this.” his voice is quiet, barely a whisper, because he really doesn’t want to admit it. He’s just too overwhelmed by everything, all they went through, all the emotions – the anger, grief, heartbreak, the hopeless love… adding to this the support from his brother, who’s clearly fucking okay with Dean being- with him having feelings for their male – well, an angel, but in a man’s body – best friend… It’s all too much. And he’s too tired to keep hiding it. He’s gone years pretending to be okay, putting on this mask. What’s even the point if he just loses the one thing, the one person, who could make him truly happy? Which is kind of ironic that he was this for Cas, too. Only it got Cas dead, and Dean has to live with it. He doesn’t know how long he can go on, though. Just living from hunt to hunt, no bigger purpose, nothing to distract himself with, with the biggest Big Bad defeated. He’s not even sure he wants to keep hunting, but he needs something to occupy himself and to get that anger out. “I love him, Sammy.” he finally admits, his voice breaking, and a tear escaping and running down his cheek. Sam’s whole expression softens.

“I know. We’ll get him back. I won’t rest until we get him back. And when we do, the first thing you’re gonna do is tell him how you feel. Yeah?” he smiles, as if there’s any reason for smiling yet. As if they’re going to succeed.

“Sure.” Dean wipes the tears and puts on a neutral expression. That was too much vulnerability for a whole year, he feels uncomfortable now. He doesn’t let himself believe in what Sam’s saying, but he figures he might humor him for a minute until they inevitably find out there’s literally nothing they can do. It’s something to occupy his mind and time, at least. A way to keep him from spiraling and completely crumbling. “Where do we start?”

***

As it turns out, Sam has no idea where to start, because there’s not much lore about the Empty. But he’s determined, and Dean hates to admit that some little spark of hope awakens in him, as much as he tries to stifle it. Realistically he knows it’s an impossible task. They go through book after book, anything they can find about cosmic entities, which is obviously not a lot. Not many beings come back from the Empty to report. He knows they for sure will not be able to find any information or get Cas back on their own. That is why they also continuously pray to Jack to get him down here and help, but so far there’s been radio silence. Which Dean really understands. Jack’s God now, the capital G God, which still sounds insane. He has things to take care of, Heaven to rebuild, and millions of people praying to him all the time. Dean’s not sure how that whole praying thing works, but maybe it’s difficult to pick their prayers out of so many.

Eventually he does show up, though, and he promises to bring Cas back. Jack wants that, too, obviously. He says he would never just let Cas stay where he is now. That’s when Dean allows himself to feel hopeful. Jack is God, if anyone can manage this, it’s him. Dean still goes through every book, finds any witch or demon or angel on earth that can tell him anything. He’s frantic and single-minded, focused only on one thing – getting Cas back. He throws himself into it completely and almost obsessively.

Jack is gone for a few days, then weeks, and Dean is restless and needs to keep working. He knows he should wait for Jack, because what else is he supposed to do? There’s really nothing else left. But he can’t just sit and do nothing. He can’t give up. Not when he just started to have hope. He knows that if he stops trying to find a way to get Cas back even for a second, even if there’s literally nothing on earth that can help, he will totally break down and this time he won’t be able to get out of it.

Sam is there through it all, together with Eileen. They both seem worried about him, but also determined to help. They do research, they drive across the country, fly across the world to find some crumbs of information that, unsurprisingly, lead them nowhere.

Until finally Jack comes back after months, and brings Cas with him. He’s just standing there, in the bunker, in the library, right in front of Dean, looking as gorgeous as always, in his fucking trenchcoat, with a nervous smile on his face, looking straight into Dean’s eyes. Dean is frozen. He can vaguely hear Jack explain what exactly happened and why it took so long, but all Dean can think is ‘Cas. Cas is back. Cas is here. Cas. Cas. Cas.'

Dean hears Sam quietly usher Eileen and Jack out of the room, leaving Dean and Cas there, staring at each other. Dean can’t quite believe this is real. Finally, Cas speaks up:

“Hello, Dean.” is all he says, but it’s enough to make Dean crumble. He feels tears start falling down his cheeks, his feet take him to Cas, his hands grabbing the coat and bringing him closer, into a hug, then wrapping his arms around him. Dean suddenly feels like can breathe easily now, as if for the last few months he had this weight of grief and loss that suffocated him, and now it’s released. Cas hugs him back, and they just hold each other, and Dean is overcome with a flood of relief and so much love. His tears fall onto Cas’ trenchcoat, while his hands grip him tightly, still trying to make sure he’s really there. He finally says something, but it’s just Cas’ name, over and over, whispering, his voice shaking. He feels like he’s outside his body, it all seems surreal and unlike him. He just can’t keep it in. If it was anyone else, he’d be embarrassed, crying and showing so much emotion, but it’s Cas. It’s his Cas. Dean was sure he lost him for good this time, and now he’s back. After all, he always is, isn’t he?

“I can’t believe you’re here.” he whispers finally, pulling away only enough to look at Cas. He can look at him, because he’s back, he’s right here, and Dean’s looking at him and touching him and he can-

“Me neither.” Cas wipes Dean’s cheeks gently, their faces really close together. “Jack really struggled with this, dealing with the Empty is very hard and very annoying. But apparently being God has its perks.” he smiles.

“Cas.” Dean clears his throat, puts his palms on the sides of Cas’ face and looks him straight in the eyes. He has shit to say, and he needs to do it before he chickens out, like he always does. Not this time, though. He doesn’t exactly have a way with words, but he’ll try his best. He needs to say it all. His heart hammering against his chest loudly. He’s been through a lot and yet he’s never been more nervous than now. “I didn’t get to say it before, when- because you took me by surprise. So.” he takes a shaky breath, preparing to lay his heart on his sleeve for the first time ever. Cas’ hopeful eyes give him courage to do so. “I love you too, Cas. You can have me. You can have all of me, if you still want that. You-” His voice is quiet, barely a whisper, as he bears his soul. It’s a bit easier than he expected, given his inability to express his feelings, but it’s Cas. And Dean figures he’s made everything too difficult by now, he’ll say what he needs to say to assure Cas how he feels, to assure him that his feelings are reciprocated, he’d do anything. No matter how strange it feels coming out of his mouth. For once, he’ll be one hundred percent honest. “You’re my happiness. My everything. And without you, I don’t feel alive. I need you to stay, and never leave me again. If you’ll have me.” he finishes, not bothering to hide the desperation in his voice, his eyes miraculously stay on Cas’ during the whole speech. Cas is smiling widely now.

“Dean.” Cas brings his hand up to cup Dean’s cheek. Dean loves to hear his name out of Cas’ mouth again. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“Yeah?” Dean can’t contain a wide, genuine smile that spreads on his face, and it feels so unfamiliar, he doesn’t remember the last time he smiled like that. He doesn’t remember the last time he saw Cas look this happy, either. The self-hating part of Dean wants to interject and ask Cas if he’s sure he wants him, if he’s sure he loves all of him – the good, the bad and the ugly. But he doesn’t, because he knows. He still can’t believe it and it will take him a while, maybe even his whole life, but at least he knows now.

“Of course. I told you already. I just never imagined that you’d want me, too.” he adds quietly, his thumb caresses Dean’s cheek gently, and Dean feels something like sparks of electricity where their skin touches.

“Well, I do. I want to-” he pauses, gathering his courage to say one more, unusual for him, cliche thing he means with all his heart. “I want to spend forever with you. Thoughts?” he adds with a teasing smile.

“I think that would be great. I’m in.” Cas grins.

“Good.” Dean leans in, looking into Cas’ eyes questioningly. Cas’ smile widens even more, if that’s even possible. Dean bumps his nose with his own playfully, before finally, finally, after years of repressing those feelings and actively forcing himself not to even acknowledge them, he finally kisses Cas. And it’s the sweetest, most tender kiss of Dean’s life. It starts out chaste, just lips against lips, before Cas opens his mouth, deepening it. It turned more intense and passionate, but still lazy and unrushed. They take their time just savoring this moment and learning each other this new way. They have all the time in the world now.

It takes a while before Dean pulls away, solely because he just wants to see Cas’ face again, look into those gorgeous eyes he thought he’d never see again. Cas beams at him, and Dean can’t decide what he wants more – to keep looking at him or to kiss him and never stop.

“You came back to me.” he finally whispers.

“Yeah. And I plan to stay right here forever.” Cas tightens his grip where his arms are wrapped around Dean now.

“Here here?” Dean asks, though he’s pretty sure he knows what Cas means. “Because I kinda thought we could maybe leave the bunker. Go somewhere nice and quiet and- I don’t know. It’s stupid.” he cuts off and feels his face heat up. Cas just came back, they don’t have to have this conversation now.

“It’s not stupid.” Cas brings his hand back to Dean’s face, and Dean melts against the touch. “Tell me.”

“I think I wanna stop hunting.” he admits it out loud for the first time. “Sammy and Eileen got it. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I’m fucking tired, man. I just- I just want a simple, normal, boring life. With you.” he says and sees that amazing smile on Cas’ face yet again. This is the first day he’s ever seen this smile, and it keeps showing up, and Dean wants to do everything for it to never disappear. “You game?”

“Yes.” Cas grins. “I would love nothing more than to live a normal, boring life with you.”

“Let’s do it then.” Dean says and he can’t believe how content and relieved he feels at the mere thought of that. Of just settling down, like he always wanted. Best of all, it’ll be with the man he loves the most in this world. He’s filled with so much love for him, he can’t help but say it again: “I love you. It took me way too long to finally say it, but now I’ll keep saying it, over and over, until you get sick of it.” he smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you, Dean.” Cas chuckles lightly. “And I’ll never get sick of hearing you say it.”

“Good.” he just says again, looking into his eyes for one more moment, before kissing him again. He knows they’re gonna have to join the rest of their family soon, talk about everything, they probably want to welcome Cas back, too. But for now Dean wants to be selfish and keep Cas to himself, in his arms, for a little while longer.

It’s crazy to think that just a few months ago, he quite literally didn’t have the will to live anymore, and now, in this moment, he feels more alive than he has in years. He finally feels like his life is properly starting now, on his terms, the way he wants and chooses, with the person he loves. With Cas. Dean can’t wait for forever with him.

Tag list: (tagging everyone from 50 ways and people who said they wanted to be tagged when I post destiel fics on my last 50 ways post a year ago lol sorry if you don't wanna be tagged, just tell me haha)

@proudcasgirl @im-sam-fucking-winchester @nguyenxtrang @manifestingdestiel @enchantinghairdoherringwombat @somethings-are-meant-tobe @cherry-cheshire

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