#like how much more can i take of her . just . straight up not caring abt me ... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

star-sim · 3 months

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"noo! she's taken!" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen hyungs x celebrity! fem! reader ☆summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆genre: fluff, silly boys ☆warning(s)? ygs liked the maknae ver so here's the hyung ver! maknae ver

heeseung ☆

i think ur a musician here

one of those very personable and insightful ones

giving laufey or mitski yk?

anyways heeseung is THE stan

within your fandom

he's the guy that EVERYONE KNOWS

like ppl will argue who is the best [name] stan and the moment he's brought up they shut their mouths

heeseung does not play around when it comes to stanning you, his gf

somewhat like riki, heeseung runs multiple stan accounts for you

but he's most active and most well-known on 1) youtube and 2) tiktok

all his youtube videos are titled

"[name] concert 11/25/2023 nyc, usa (she looked at me!)"

"[name] concert 11/26/2023 miami, usa"

"[name] concert 11/27/2023 berlin, germany (i touched her hand!)"

"[name] concert 11/28/2023 jakarta, indonesia"

"[name] concert 11/29/2023 melbourne, australia (i met her!)"

like how the fuck is he going to all of these concerts when theyre literal hours apart and OCEANS AWAY

he likes to vlog his concert experiences

and theyre very entertaining because he's like genuinely enjoying himself

on his tiktok he also records his concert experiences

but i also think he posts your fancams and makes edits of you

too many times where an edit of you became known as "that one [name] edit"

he makes a lot of thirst edits of u

too many captions like "i want her so bad" or "she's so fine i need her biblically"

everyone knows who he is, even ppl outside of your fandom or the music scene

hes just that one guy that really likes you

one day ur on tour

its all fine and dandy, ur eating everything up, ur fans are loving it

and heeseung is documenting his concert experience

as he always does

and then it ends and heeseung posts it

however

this concert vlog

receiving a lot of attention

TOO MUCH ATTENTION

THAT ITS

VERY

SUSPICIOUS

........

you and hee are just hanging out in your hotel when his phone starts blowing up

and yours too

all the comments on his video are normal, the ones that are expressing playful envy at heeseung's presence at ur concert

and like

it's not like heeseung doesn't get these types of comments

but one comment catches his eye

it has like 50k likes

and hes like oh shit

"at 3:05 heeseung why are you kissing [name]"

kissing.

[name].

he clicks that timestamp

and oh my god

THERES LIKE A CLIP OF HEESEUNG KISSING YOU

you see

when heeseung records your concerts he's recording it both for his fanpage and for the memories

he'll take as many cute couple pictures and videos with you as possible

and he just so happened to accidentally add one of the clips of you and him

kissing.

in fact

he accidentally added A LOT OF CLIPS AND PICTURES of you and him being a couple

ones of you hugging him backstage, ones of you two holding hands, even one where viewers can faintly hear you calling heeseung "babe"

and the other comments

OH LORD THE OTHER COMMENTS

"THAT SHOULD BE ME"

"HEESEUNG MOVE ASIDE!!!!!!!!!"

"i hate seeing people live my dream"

"SHE'S MINE *growls*"

"[NAME] GET BEHIND ME"

obv theyre all half joking half confused, but i think ppl are able to joke w him bc he's such an obnoxious stan 😭

and heeseung is like

poor heeseung is sweating and panicking

bc shit HE JUST EXPOSED UR RELATIONSHIP

but when he tells u

you literally are just like

"okay"

OKAY????

"it's not a big deal"

heeseungs like WHATATATATA

at first he's kinda unsure

bc ur so chill abt it that he's almost afraid that ur actually mad at him 😭

but you legitimately do not care

and when he realizes this

he goes from

😱

😈

because

NOW HE CAN FLEX ON EVERYONE

he goes straight to twitter and drops more couple-y pictures of you and him

he probably posts a tiktok that pans over to you on his bed or something

caption like "it's exposed now, but yeah, [name] is actually my gf"

its goes so viral

hes so smug about it too

like whenever he gets into arguments abt who's a better fanpage hes like "I'M LITERALLY A HER BF???"

he becomes an inside joke in ur fandom

i think everyone jokingly flames his ass too

"why did she pick heeseung of all people...."

"pixelated fancam, ass editing, shitty camera, yet [name] still chose him... what did we do wrong"

"[name] wasn't lying in her song when she said she has bad taste in men"

"i can't believe heeseung literally stole my spot... i should be the one that she writes all her love songs about..."

free him 😭😭😭

jay ☆

ooh this one is kinda juicy

ur a musician slay

but sometimes you do modeling

for one of your shoots

you're showing off your midriff and ur just glowing sorry

all ur followers are like

"ughhh step on me [name]"

"i don't think ygs understand i need her"

"[NAME] ONE CHANCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

"i want her."

very quickly goes viral

ur just so hot ughhhhh

but ppl notice something upon closer inspection

you have a tattoo on ur back

at first everyone is like

"okay sexy lady love the tat"

but then

when they look closer

they can't help but see that incorporated into the design

is two

very

specific

letters

J and P

almost like they're someone's initials

🤨🤨🤨

hmmmmm

interesting.....

who is JP?

HMMM???

and now that ppl look at it

you have so many songs and albums that refer to JP

like ur one album

called

"just playing, i love you" but it's commonly abbreviated as "jpily"

JP????? ILY?? JP I LOVE YOU???

WHO THE HELL IS JP

"whoever jp is, he needs to meet me in the parking lot so we can have a talk 😆"

"jp my opp"

"jp kys!!!"

"jp is living my dream"

hehe

you see this

and jay aka mr JP himself sees this

and ur like

yk what let's tease the fans

for the next few months ur just teasing jay's existence

using his intials

like one time you wear a heart necklace that has the letters jp engraved in them

or when you tweeted "i love jp" but followed it up with "Jurassic Park is a wonderful movie 😆"

oh god you make it so obvious

"jp is the reason i make my music" and then following it up with "Jimmy Page is my favoritie guitarist 😛"

like ur fans are tired

and theyre getting outright insane

"guys the winter is getting cold and dire... the voices in my headare telling me that [name] is dating this jp person and i don't know how much longer i can live in denial"

"fuck you jp that should be me!!!"

"i hope jp knows how lucky he is... if a hot woman like [name] tattooed my initials i think i'd die maybe"

"i'm fighting demons (and jp)"

until finally!!!

you go to an award show

you look great as always

ugh queen

and ur getting interviewed

the interviewer asks you a playful question like

"oh are you here with any date?"

AND YOU JUST SMILE

"of course, i'm here with my boyfriend, jay park."

oh man

when that gets posted

EVERYONE IS GOING CRAZY

JAY PARK

AAAAAAAAA

and when the actual award shows gets posted

it keeps panning over to you and jay

and everyone is like

THAT'S HER BF????

all jay can say is that he's prideful duh

everyone wants u but he's the only one that can have you

you definitely take a lot of pictures on the red carpet at the award show

and jay is with u in a lot of them

he's holding ur waist so tightly

like you're not gonna run away cuh it's okay omg 😭😭😭

anyways i think it gets resolved pretty easily

ur fandom accepts jay

but they still joke abt him

and when jay makes a twt account it gets worse

he WILL respond to them

and he WILL flex u

every time he does it shuts down the argument right away.... if he wants to win he just needs to mention ur name

"jay meet me after the concert, we will fight to the death for [name]'s love"

and this mf responds "can i bring [name] to be the ref?"

"jay ur hair looks so fucked up in this picture"

and he responds "yet [name] still picked me and not you"

you have to tell him to stop fighting ur 16 yr old fans HELP

jake ☆

sorry ur a musician again

you have a new song that came out

yk how in some songs

there's almost like an interlude

where there's speaking parts

like in agora hills theres a small part where doja cat says "baby can you call me back, it's so lonely in my mansion" yk?

you have something like that in your newest song

cute!

except it's not just your voice

but a MAN'S voice too

JAKE'S VOICE

the speaking part is very flirty and suggestive

and when it comes out

ppl are like

WHO IS THAT MAN

and then when the music video comes out

theres a male actor that you have many scenes with

now.... the male actor's face is cut out...

but there are still many scenes with you touching him, holding him, kissing him, and vice versa

and when the speaking part comes on

that male actor is supposed to be the male part if that makes sense

that male actor is

drum roll plS

JAKE

when ppl read the credits of the song and music video

they can't help but notice "jake sim"

and when they search ur other songs and mv's

"jake sim" has never showed up...

until this song.....

interesting....

ur fans do a lil detective work

and this jake sim guy doesn't have any involvement in the music or acting industry....

so why is he in ur song AND music video....

hmmmm

they can't find any ig account linked to him

except one that's very obscure

it has a funny username like

"@laylasdad1115" so ppl are like "oh that's probably not even him" and you weren't even following that account so they just let it go

WRONG!!1

@LAYLASDAD1115 IS JAKE

and although you're not following that account on ig

when ppl scroll down to your very very old posts

they see something

very

miniscule

but

very

crucial

a post of you and a golden labrador.... and the caption says "i love you layla"

layla... laylasdad1115

and THEN BOOM

NEW SONG COMES OUT

AND AT THE BEGINNING

YOU SAY

"jakey, kiss me!"

OH MY GOD

WHO IS JAKE SIM!!!!!!

"@laylasdad1115 u better watch out...."

"who do you think u are jake sim..."

and then you have a concert

and its not a massive stadium, it's very casual

and there's a part of the concert where you just answer questions that ur fans have and just hang out w them

and someone asks as a joke

"who's jakey in ur song btw?"

and with the most straight face

ur just like

"oh he's my boyfriend!" and then you point to the front row and ur like "he's actually here tonight, say hi baby!"

and jake is so enthusiastic abt it, hes like "hi guys!"

while everyone else in the room is like

WHAT.

the way ygs are so casual abt it is so appalling

"[NAME] YOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY DROP THAT U HAVE A BF I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING MARRIED"

"she's taken..... i'm gonna die.... "

LMAAOAOAO

it's known in ur fandom now that ur bf is jake sim or wtv

i don't think anyone even calls him jake

out of pure disrespect (😭) they call him by his instagram username

"laylasdad1115 might be dating [name] but i'm legally bound to her so who's really winning"

when jake shows up to your concerts i do think your fans joke w him like

"ouuu jake ur so lucky [name] is here or i'd give you a black eye"

FREE HIMMMM

sunghoon ☆

three words: your personal bodyguard

you're an actress cutie

and it's award show season

at all of your award shows ppl notice there's this tall brooding figure looming over you

ITS SUNGHOON LMAO

he's like

GLARING AT EVERYONE

HE KEEPS SQUARING UP RANDOM PPL 😭😭😭

ik this might be a crazy crossover but the moment he spots ryan gosling he's so ready to throw fists

"okay barbie boy you look like you want a broken nose"

sunghoon is very protective of you

obv bc the film industry is lowk kinda sus and exploitative, he def watches out for u a lot

everyone kinda just assumes that he's ur scary bodyguard

but then paparazzi pictures come out

and hes with you

in every

single

one

"goddamn her bodyguard is passionate about his job 😭😭😭"

in fact when the annoying invasive paparazzi interviewers come to talk to you sunghoon is sending the the NASTIEST GLARES

but like it's valid bc ur literally walking to Walgreens at 9AM on a tuesday why do you need to be photographed

"hi [name] can we ask you a few questions-"

hoon literally answers for u

"No. 😐."

interviewers are so rude, theyre like "well i didn't ask you, did i... [name] can we ask you-"

sunghoon just blinks and says

"No. 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐." again

and then ygs leave

theres clips of you at the airport where sunghoon is scaring all ur fans, which makes way for you to have a cmfortable flight

i think ur fans appreciate him but theyre lowk scared

"oh god this guy does not play abt his job 😭😭"

until one day

you get playfully asked abt ur bodyguard on an ig live

and ur like "wait what that's not my bodyguard, that's my bf"

UR WHAT????

HUH????

😱😱😱

ur fans are in the trenches

"i cant hate him bc he protects [name].... but damn i wish that was me 😞😞😞"

and when they review some of the clips w you and sunghoon they see you smiling and giggling with him

"he makes her happy so ig i'll let him have her </3"

"this is the hardest sacrifice i have to make"

i lowk think sunghoon doesn't care

he FIGHTS EVERYONE

only for u ofc 😊😊😊

maknae ver

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myalvmss · 1 year

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⎯⎯ DATING HEADCANONS WITH AQUAMARINE HOSHINO❞

CHARACTERS. aquamarine hoshino, ruby hoshino, ai hoshino, akane kurokawa mention

MISSION. headcanons ; adventure mission, silent yet shining

WARNINGS. mentions of pregnancy & sex? this is mostly just me digging into aqua's character more and more, ANGST will most definitely be in this, but dont worry!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. special thanks to my friend named Ryu I guess LMAOAOAOAO. THIS IS SHORT??

⌗O1: when I tell you, this man makes me frustrated every two seconds of reading the manga, I have a love and hate relationship with this man that not even scaramouche can compete with, BECAUSE RIGHT OFF THE BAT, HE'S A RED FLAG. BAHAHAHAH 😭

⌗O2: when you two first meet, he barely does effort in the so called friendship, or what he thinks of acquaintance.

UNLESS you are of use to his plan, so he'll probably use you, sorry bitch </3

⌗O3: this mf's ideal type is just someone like ai hoshino (imo NO ONE can replace her, not even akane sorry not sorry) and what makes you think you can pull off an ai?

i suggest you CHANGE him, not change yourself for him honey

⌗O4: this depends on your personality, but the relationship might be a sunshine reader while aqua's the grumpy one LMFAOAOAOAO

⌗O5: aqua doesn't engage in social media much, unlike his twin sister ruby. in other words, he's a boomer yet I'm not surprised so it's mostly you who takes pictures and videos of u both

⌗O6: you and aqua often go on dates at the cafe, park, or mostly private places where you two can get alone time with no interruptions

⌗O7: he's SO OVERPROTECTIVE ABOUT YOU. imagine yandere aqua omfg, he even makes sure that you're safe and doing well everyday

A caring boyfriend but a red flag 🚩

⌗O8: In the song, "MEPHISTO" I think there's a lyric where "I'll bet my life, I'll give it to you" would imply that to the people he cares about, aqua WILL risk his life for you. THOUGH this song probably directs to ai, or ruby? but either way, he still cares about you if you were actually his girlfriend. not just for his revenge plan, but purely his own love for you.

yet sometimes I think, "would aqua even bother asking you to be his girlfriend at a time crisis like this?"

It's a possibility he wants to keep you safe and unharmed from danger, so he'll probably lock up his feelings from you and keep it a secret so no danger will come for you, but it's not guaranteed </3

⌗O9: in an au where ai is alive, I wouldn't say that ai would straight away approve of your relationship with aqua. she's a mother, yes but not those kinds who don't give a fuck abt relationships ykwim?

when she first met you, she's a bit suspicious of you, especially if you're someone who's young, but your mind is well beyond your age.

It took a while, but she got used to you around with aqua and genuinely loves you

“you two aren't getting a kid, right?” just a few reassurances that YOU BOTH AREN'T GOING THE SAME ROUTE AS WHAT SHE DID.. “mama! don't ask questions out of the blue like that!” ruby come rescue us both PLS

“mama.. cut it out please,” insert a little bit of a flushed red aqua PLSS

⌗10: honestly, taking back the topic where you change aqua actually would work, because this man is wanting revenge and is willing to kill his father.

you can't be the one who helps him, that will end up ugly if he does succeed, because let's not forget how aqua can get arrested despite being a minor, yet he's 17 (currently in manga) and he might turn 18 soon enough

so you have to BE THE SAVIOR who changes aqua to be a better person and set aside this revenge

honestly. it's not worth it, I KNOW this is about ai hoshino getting her justice, but would she wanna see her kids in danger like this??

DON'T go off like "aqua this isn't like you 🥺🥺" NO LMAO. you knew aqua when he was 16, that's a super high possibility on who you met him, and the person he is now is just the same aquamarine hoshino you him at sixteen

just imo, you need to convince aqua that his revenge path won't do anything better for anyone's lives, because correctly he's ruining everything — the man probably doesn't care but you gotta make him care and move on for the better like how ai would want for him and ruby

ENOUGH WITH THE DARK SHIT LMFAO PLS AHAHAHAHAH

⌗11: if you're smaller than aqua, then he'll probably use you as a head rest

lay his head on your shoulder

rest his head on your lap

place his head ontop of yours

⌗12: SURPRISE BACK HUGS >>>>>

⌗13: whenever aqua is jealous, he always keeps it a secret from you so that you won't tease him about it

think of a scenario where you're talking to some guy on the street, a fan or an old friend;

aqua would slowly wrap his arm around your waist and pull you towards him WHILE giving the guy a very overprotective look

⌗14: he can't help it but aqua always compliments you in his mind, like how cute or gorgeous you are

⌗15: i like to think you both started getting together after his so-called revenge plan for his father

⌗16: aqua's careful around you, by that I mean when it comes to sex. he doesn't wanna end up being a replica of his father.

by that I mean, he'd ask for consent first for sex ( aqua's not entirely that kind of person who doesn't ask for consent )

and also would not have sex during his teenage years, as he prefers to have it at adult years ykyk

⌗17: you're a pain in the ass for him, gotta say that BAHAHAHHAHAH

⌗18: since in aqua's past life, he was a doctor ( bro's a DOCTOR. ) that took medical education, it's a high chance that he still remembers a few things

probably trauma from learning all that pain of a education lmao

⌗18: so whenever you get hurt, aqua's always the one who bandages you :))

⌗19: since aqua dislikes bell peppers, you probably shove those in aqua's mouth for shits and giggles AHAHAHA

⌗20: he acts like 'himself' (or the past him) when you're around, and you're the only person who could do that

“i noticed that he's like how he used to be when he's around y/n..” ruby spoke to herself, watching aqua and y/n from afar as a small smile appeared on her face. “I'm happy for them both.”

#oshi no ko #aquamarine hoshino #aqua x reader #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino #butterfly ; missions

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chososdiscordkitten · 3 months

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Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 9

pt 8 here

content: stalking (duh.) overdone sick trope 👍🏽, FINALLY something happens Jesus Christ, reader hates school, Choso can't THINK, reader HAS siblings but doesn't consider them family, not so much stalking in this one, more just progression and Choso being cute hehe (a.n) yayyy I finally finished this!!!!! sorry I was bed ridden for three days straight and finally felt the sun on my face yesterday.(depression) I know I indulged a little too much of my thoughts and feelings abt family in this one but I HAD to. Wrote this listening to 'This town- Niall Horan'

Taglist: @eristi @sunaumi @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @mochipip @hotvillianapologist @ziklope @saeline @morinuu

Obsessive!Choso who remembered how angry you looked earlier talking to your roommate, almost like you were arguing with them but he didn't know why. You seemed perfectly fine when he asked you if you were ready to go. He looked over at you, basking in the light of the moon. “Can I ask you something?” he blurted, making you look over at him. Bright eyes and a slight sneer on your lips, humming a quiet ‘mhm’ before looking back up to the sky. “What was your roommate telling you?” he asked, making your eyes turn tight, “Before we left- I mean.” he clarified. You didn't bother looking over at him, you kept your eyes on the sky before answering him. “They were telling me how rude I was being. ‘First day back and you're already running off with god knows who’ I think they said.” you repeat what they told you in a sarcastic tone, “Telling me that was sooo unlike me.” you mumbled, being able to feel his stare on your skin.

“I dunno,” you spoke up, knowing he wasn't going to say anything till you expressed your opinion on the topic. “I certainly didnt miss their lengthy lectures or their opinions on my life.” you murmured, hands in your pockets as you hummed. “Lectures?” Choso spoke up, questioning why your roommate was lecturing you. ‘Of all people in the world I refuse to believe they lecture you on your choices.’

“Mhm. They love chastising me for such stupid things. It's like I live with my mother again.” You frowned, looking over at him to see if he had heard what he needed. “And that's a bad thing?” he pinched his eyebrows, “If you grew up the same way I did, you'd never want to see your mother again, let alone live with her.” you laughed, “16 years was more than enough time living with that woman.” You joked, scanning his face and seeing he did not comprehend what you were saying.

Obsessive!Choso who blamed your words on your boozy state, making sure to remember the topic so he could ask you later. Seeing your flushed expression and thinking it was time to get you home, in hopes you’d sleep off whatever they gave you. “C’mon. Let's get you home.” he mumbled, seeing a tinge of disappointment on your face. You hummed, “I'd rather stay here forever.” swishing your torso as you looked up at the moon. It was clear from the tone you took that you were clearly inebriated. But he’d much rather have you here, tipsy and refusing to go home, than with another man who would've just hurt you. “You stay out here any longer and you'll get sick.” He took a step forward. In the state you were in, you had found confidence looming inside you, a small smirk forming at your lips before you looked at him. “I didn't know you cared.” you teased. Eyes half lidded when you saw his face turn bitter. Furrowing his eyebrows and looking at you with a hand placed flat against his chest, almost clutching his pearls. “Of course I care-” serious tone as he saw you try to suppress a laugh.

You sighed with a smile, looking down to your shoes and humming in response. Looking up at him with a hazy smile, “Take me home.” you wirred. The words that fell from your lips made a chill run down his spine, the tone you took didn't help either. Choso only nodded his head quickly before taking a step away from you, suddenly feeling like you were too close. You only raised your eyebrows at him, almost waiting for him to start walking in the direction of your house. He inhaled sharply before turning to take a step, seeing you walk right next to him. Silence. Usually the silence that fell between you two was comfortable, knowing he wasn't a man of many words at times. But this kind of silence made you want to laugh at how awkward it was. Especially anytime your hand brushed against his, he'd flinch away as though you were made of glass.

“You're so strange.” you mumbled with a smile, being able to see the side of his profile as you walked. “Strange?” he asked, looking over to you with his hands in his pockets to keep from touching you. You laughed at the way he said that word, almost like it was the last thing he was expecting to hear from you. You remembered a picture you had seen on instagram. Of a cat looking sad and apologizing for being strange and off putting- which you found hilarious because he looked exactly like that cat right now. “Yes- strange and off putting.” You smiled, mimicking what the photo said. Choso mentally was scolding himself for being that way, not knowing why you were calling him that- but thought there had to be a reason behind it.

Obsessive!Choso who took a few seconds to process what you had said, seeing you look up at the stars as you walked on the sidewalk. “I'm sorry...?” he asked more than stated, making you look at him with a confused smile. “For being ‘strange and off putting’?” he mumbled seeing you not understanding why he was apologizing. You wrapped your hand at the ditch of his elbow with a small laugh, “That's okay. I like you even if you are.” you joked, making Choso feel a warmth flood his cheeks.

Walking across the street and stepping up the small steps of your porch. Seeing the porch light turn on, scanning his face. Noticing his flushed cheeks and blaming it on the weather. “You wanna come in? My roommates won't be home till late.” You smiled, looking at him through your eyelashes with a cheeky smile. Choso widened his eyes at your words, thinking of how forward you were being. Too forward. He nodded his head ‘no’ before speaking. “I think you're a little too tipsy right now.” He grumbled, seeing you disagree with your head. “I'm not- you're just a little blurry right now.” You smiled. Seeing him give you a feigned ‘is that so?’ raising your eyebrows in response. Mouthing a small ‘Okay, okay.’ before turning to unlock your door.

You opened the door to your house before feeling a certain itch in your brain form. “Before you go-” you turned around, the door cracked open with the door knob in your hand. “Do you...” you hesitated, suddenly feeling very embarrassed by what you were thinking. “Do you not like me or something?” You gave a forced smile. Knowing the words you had been thinking for the past few days were finally out in the open. The expression that formed on his face was something you never expected to see from him. He looked like a deer in headlights. Eyes wide and mouth struggling to find words to say to you. “I-” he started, you tilted your head with raised eyebrows waiting for him to say something. “Because I like you, Choso.” you hummed, batting your eyelashes. Hoping that your own words would motivate him to say what you wanted to hear.

The seconds you stood there felt like an eternity- maybe it was. The porch light had turned off from how long he took to answer you. Choso’s head was reeling from the words you told him. ‘As a friend? As a stranger? As something else-’ his mind was racing with questions only you could answer. He mouthed a million words, trying to say something but hesitating before he actually voiced them. “I-” he managed, seeing you part your lips and the shine in your eyes start to dim. “I lo-” he started, catching himself before stuttering. “I like you too.” He shuddered, the feeling of words falling from his lips without permission.

Obsessive!Choso who nodded his head ‘no’ almost in disbelief at what he just said. “Really?” you asked, cheeky smile on your lips, fishing for more words from him. His face showed you everything you needed to see, he looked nervous. It was almost funny, looking horrified yet elated. He only nodded his head yes, seeing you look away from his gaze. “Do you really like me too?” he asked, feeling a frog was in his throat. Heart thumping so hard in his chest he swore you could hear it. Looking up at him through your eyelashes, dim lighting making your eyes sparkle once more. Nodding with a small ‘mhm’. “Even if I'm strange and off putting?” he whispered, feeling hazy as though this was a dream. You gave him a lushy smile, cheeks starting to hurt from how much his words delighted you. “Especially if you're strange and off putting.” You giggled, making him look down at his shoes. Noticing just how close you were to him.

‘This is wrong. I shouldn't be here.’ he thought, looking back up to inspect your features. Taking advantage of how close he was. Even if he knows he’ll feel guilty for it later. ‘I don't deserve to be here with you.’ His gaze was heavy on you, feeling like he was staring into your soul. You exhaled, looking off to the side before speaking, “I've never felt so seen before I met you.” you whispered, feeling like he could see every crack, every secret and every moment of doubt in your life. Even if the plentiful amounts of liquor you had earlier were clouding your judgment. It was the truth, a truth you hadn’t admitted out loud till now. He called your name, making you look back to him with swelling eyes and a wavering smile. “-I see you,” he hummed, the horrified look on his face now gone, looking at you with warm eyes and a softened expression. Calling your name once more, “-I always have.” you furrowed your eyebrows, lip quivering and looking to him with expectant eyes.

“You sure you don't wanna come in?” you grinned, wanting to talk to him surrounded by the warmth of your bedroom. Choso softly nodded his head no, “Another time.” he grinned. Even if he had turned down your offer, you found comfort in knowing that he at least liked you. Choso straightened his posture, looking at you with a toothy grin. “Lock your doors-” he started, half laugh caught in his chest. “Lock your windows, close your curtains.” he lectured, making you smile in response. “I will. I will.” you mumbled, stepping into the doorway and looking at him as you leaned against the door frame.

Sappy smile on your lips as you watched him take a step back, “Goodnight.” he grinned. Looking at you as though this was some shitty rom com from the early 2000. If you paid any more attention, you'd see his pupils in the shape of tiny hearts, hands in his pockets as the porch creaked beneath his heavy boots. “Goodnight Choso.” You hummed, waiting till he turned around to walk away. Making note that he looked back once at you when he was at the bottom of the stairs, and once more when he was walking on the sidewalk before closing the door. You found it sweet he looked back twice at you, if only you knew he kept looking to see if you closed the door so he could stand in the spot he usually stood at to watch your house. To watch you.

Obsessive!Choso waited to make sure your roommate got home before he left you alone. To make sure they didn't bring back one of their ‘friends’ with them. Not trusting your roommate or their shitty friends. But his fears were eased when he saw they came back alone, stumbling out of a car and tripping on their own shoes, sure. But thankful they came back alone, especially since they seemed frustrated when they saw the doors were locked. Having to fumble with their unused keys just to get into the house. Thankful that you listened to him, looking up and seeing you did in fact close your curtains. Smiling to himself at how you acted on your promise. Even if you were going to do it already, Choso couldn't help but think you did it just because he told you to.

Making sure to gently lay on his bed when he got home, on the brink of falling asleep before hearing his phone ding. He wanted to ignore it, but thoughts of what if it was you flooded his mind. Picking up his phone a staring at it with squinty eyes, seeing you had sent him a photo. ‘ik its late but i wanted u to know this is what i was referring to btw’ he read, waiting for the photo to load. Seeing it was a very sad cat, ‘oh god did i look like that ?’ he typed, trying his best to sound coherent. ‘yes u did!!! thats why i told u that’ he read hearing your voice in his mind. ‘im sorry if u were sleepin’ you double texted. Making Choso roll over slowly on his bed and hug his pillow with a small blush on his cheeks. ‘i wont lie, i was about to’ he replied, seeing you start to type. ‘ok ok ill let u sleep, text me in the morning ok?’ you asked, your coherence made it clear to Choso that you probably ate something to soak up what was in your stomach. ‘ok’ he sent, typing with one eye open, ‘goodnight :)’ before shutting his phone off and snuggling into his pillow pretending it was you.

Obsessive!Choso who’s assumptions were true, you had finally eaten a sad grilled cheese and had a cup of coffee before your roommate got home. Suddenly regretting every single thing you had confessed to Choso. Worrying you made him uncomfortable or offended him by your slurred words that had no meaning behind them. Even if it was embarrassing recalling all the things you had said to him, you were glad they were said. Knowing that if you hadn't found the confidence to tell him, those words probably wouldn't have been spoken till you were frustrated with the lack of progress. But now the looming thought of ‘Did he mean he liked me in a friend way, or in another way?’ was heavy. Frustration creep back into your mind, feeling like you haven't made any progress at all.

Sunday was spent in bed for Choso, feeling a little under the weather. Watching the small red dot on his phone move anytime you needed to run an errand for your roommate. It worried you- him feeling ill. Knowing how long he spent outside just to get you home. You tried asking him if you could come over with medicine. But the mere thought of you standing in his apartment, inches away from the shrine he had in his closet. Various photos of you in small frames around his apartment. It made him shiver at the thought. Clearing his throat before assuring you. “I’m fine- I'll be fine.” holding back the itching cough that tickled his throat. He did find it endearing that you would have risked your own health for him. The anxiety just thinking about you coming to see him was 50-50 with the heart aching feeling of actually letting you see him.

There was nothing more Choso wanted than to have you at his side, be it the rising fever or his feelings. But he struggled to deny your attempts to see him, feeling a certain ache in his heart to be doted on. It pained him to say ‘no’ to you, it really did. But he couldn't risk you coming here. Almost crying by picturing you being upset at the things he had stolen from you, telling him he was your stalker the whole time. Monday came like a grade four hurricane. Choso woke up feeling like death came for him in the night, blinking his eyes open and seeing the time. Knowing one of the three classes he had with you started in an hour. If he was being honest, Choso knew he’d get sick eventually. Cold weather and an unheated apartment have never made the greatest combination. What he didn’t expect was to wake up on the day of classes and feel like a victorian child being eaten away by the plague.

Choso dreaded sending you that text. It sounded like a lame excuse, like a lie. ‘im too sick to go to class, im sorry’ he felt like he was failing you in some way that you'd never forgive. But your quick replies of ‘i knew it’ and demanding his address and apartment number made his heart warm. When he didn't reply; you called him. He picked up on the first ring, “I was just about to text you back.” he croaked, his voice raspier than usual. “I sent those texts like 10 minutes ago.” you scolded, hearing him give you a half laugh from his chest. “I fell asleep.” he played coy, smiling as he pressed the phone closer to his ear. “Don't lie!” you smiled, being able to hear him let out a small huff. “I would never lie to you.” he muttered, cozying into his blankets as he closed his eyes. His incoherent words made you smile, telling him to send his address now.

Obsessive!Choso who felt his brain pound in his mind. “No. Go to class. And pay attention.” he mumbled quietly letting his inner thoughts slip, making you sigh dramatically. “I’ll think about it.” you muttered, being able to hear his breathing steadily over the phone. Whispering his name and hearing small heaving. Thinking he probably fell asleep. You sat in your living room contemplating actually going to class. Hearing your roommates leave the house one by one. With a loud sigh you sat up, knowing there wasn't anything you could do unless he gave you an address. Sitting in your intro to humanities class. Knowing this was one of the classes you were to have with Choso, you were fiddling with a pen in frustration. Staring at the screen of your computer as you heard the professor talk on and on.

Something the professor said made you remember Choso had sent you a photo of his courses for that semester. Opening it on your dimmed phone, scanning the photo and seeing the upper corner showed the street name of where he lived. Knowing that there was only one small apartment complex; if you could even call it that, near the campus. And coincidentally it was on the same street that the photo showed. If you were being honest, this made you feel like a stalker. But you were doing it for good, you just wanted to help a friend.

Smiling to yourself before gathering your things mid class. Walking to the grocery store close to your house. Surprisingly, the weather wasn't as bad as it had been the past few days. Today it was surprisingly sunny and not as cold. Picking up any kind of medicine that looked like it would work, not caring what it cost or if it was a name brand. Coming home to an empty house and packing a few things into a duffle bag, ordering an uber to take you to a small restaurant. Picking up a small bowl of chicken soup and riding to his apartment complex. Furrowing your eyebrows when you stood in front of the two story building, knowing that Choso was bed ridden in one of the 8 studio apartments. Suddenly realizing you had just come without warning, you called him.

Hearing the phone ring, and ring, and ring before he picked up. Nasally and hoarse as he mumbled a quiet “Hello?” gaining a small smile from you before you spoke, “Which apartment is yours?” you asked with an obvious smile in your tone. You heard silence before he spoke, “What?” he asked, being able to hear the confusion in his voice. “I said-” you trailed, “Which apartment is yours? I'm outside.” you laughed, hearing silence on his end.

Obsessive!Choso who felt like his whole world would come crashing down if you even stepped into his apartment. Finding a sudden burst of energy and sprinting across his apartment and collecting everything that could look suspicious. Muttering various ‘what do you mean’ and ‘why’ trying to distract you from what he was doing. Finding a black photo box big enough to fit all the things you gave him that he had hidden in his closet. Standing in the middle of his apartment, “H-how was class?” He tried changing the conversation. Hearing you exhale dramatically, “Boring.” you mumbled. His eyes went wide when he found an old vent big enough to fit it in. Hearing you tell him to hurry up while he undid painted over screws with his hands. “No- really it's a mess-” he tried deterring you, only hearing you sigh before shouting at him playfully. “Choso, I don't care! Let me in.” Slipping the box into the vent as quietly as he could, closing the vent and standing up. Quickly scanning his apartment trying to see if he missed anything. “You take any longer and I'll go knocking on every door till you answer.” you teased, hearing him let out a low cough.

“It's on the second floor- number 4.” he exhaled, gulping down as much of the coarseness he had in his voice as he could. Standing against the door as he heard you hand up the phone, not even bothering to check what he looked like as he waited. His heart beating faster and faster as he heard footsteps outside of his door. A small knock before his hand hesitated to reach the door knob. Unlocking the lock and wrapping his hand around the brass knob, turning it slowly. Cracking the door and seeing you, hands full and already beaming. Hearing you gasp, “You look horrible.” You grinned, scanning his state. Disheveled hair, squinty eyes, and cheeks derived from any color, looking paler than normal. He let out a phlegm riddled chuckle, “And you look great.” he smiled, feeling his brain turn to mush by just looking at you.

“Let me innn.” you hummed, knowing he was speaking nonsense. Seeing him nod no while his hand was firm on the doorknob. “No-” he gave you a weak smile, “I'll get you sick.” He scoffed, looking at you through the small crack. “I don't care. Besides-” you gave him a toothy grin. “If you don't let me in your soup’ll get cold.” You hummed, seeing him close his eyes and look to the floor. Looking back up at you with soft eyes, letting go of the doorknob and pushing the door open. Taking a step inside, scanning the four walls of his so-called apartment. Placing the duffle bag on the counter of his small kitchen. “You were right-” you trailed, seeing he didn't have much decor, or really anything on his walls. “It's colder here than it is outside-” you joked, looking over to him and seeing he looked almost bashful.

Obsessive!Choso who heard you unzip the bag before he apologized, “I know- I’m sorry-” seeing you turn to him with a miniscule space heater in your hands. Letting out a small laugh at the way you displayed it between your hands. Seeing him slouched over himself, almost trying his best to stay standing upright. “Go lay down, you look like you'll keel over if you keep standing.” You smiled, unpacking the small tub of soup as he shuffled over to his bed. Sitting down gently as he watched you make yourself comfortable. Turning on the small battery operated heater and hearing him give a pained laugh. You muttered a quiet, ‘Shut up’ as you looked to his kitchen, “Bowls?” you asked, looking over to him watching you on his side.

“In the cupboard above the stove.” he grumbled, seeing you nod and reach up to open the cabinet and seeing a single bowl. “Choso, if I open up one of these drawers am I gonna see just one spoon?” your tone was already accusatory, “Definitely don't open the drawer closest to the microwave then.” he smiled, closing his eyes as he heard you open the drawer with a gasp. Smiling when he heard you stepping to him, placing the glass bowl on his nightstand. “Eat. Then I'll give you medicine.” You demanded. Seeing him open his eyes and look up at you.

You turned around and pulled out the chair that was at his desk, rolling it to face the bed. Humming quietly as you walked back to the kitchen counter. Hearing him shuffle out of bed and sit up against the wall, “I thought you couldn't cook?” he smiled, taking a small sip of the warm soup. “I can’t- if I did cook for you, you'd end up even more sick.” you mumbled, walking back to the chair and sitting on it. Placing the medicine on his side table as he ate. He looked over at you with hazy eyes, “Why didn't you go to class?” he hummed, looking over to you. “I did-” you assured him, “-but I left like 20 minutes in.” you laughed.

Obsessive!Choso who wanted to scold you, nodding his head ‘no’ in disapproval. “Why?” he mumbled, feeling his throat sting. “I kept picturin you all alone, dry heaving in your cold-” you laughed, “- apartment and I felt horrible.” You tilted your head, seeing him stare at you with the bowl in his hands. “Especially since you're always so nice to me-” you hummed, “I thought it was my turn to do something kind.” crossing your ankles and seeing his hazy eyes look at you as though this was the first nice thing anyone had done for him.

“How did you find out where I lived?” he asked, setting the bowl onto his nightstand. You widened your eyes slightly, leaning in closer to him. “I stalked you.” You whispered, seeing his smile fall and scan your face. He mouthed a small ‘What?’ before you leaned back into the chair. “No, in the uh- picture you sent me of your classes this semester-” you grinned, “it had the address in the corner.” you looked at him disapprovingly. “Ah.” he smiled, “Either way- when I feel better I'll find a way to repay you.” He promised, seeing your delicate hands pick up the bottle of cold medicine and shake them in his direction.

Seeing him pop the bottle open and take them dry. “You can pay me back by taking me out.” you whirred. Choso froze up, looking at your face to see if you were being serious or not. You raised your eyebrows when you waited for him to reply, “Well?” you asked, looking at him while blinking slowly. “I can't focus on what I want to say to you right now.” He mumbled, turning away from you and feeling goosebumps form on his arm.

“Don't think about what to say. Just tell me what you think.” You assured, wanting to know what thoughts he hid from you. “I think-” he started, wanting to avoid this conversation in its entirety. Seeing his cheeks flushed as he avoided your gaze, you scooched the rolling chair closer to him. ‘Hmm?’ you hummed, placing your hand atop his that was on the edge of his bed. All but flinching when he felt you. “What do you mean by-” he gulped, looking back at you with pinched eyebrows and shy eyes. His ears burning, mentally blaming it on your tiny heater. “...Take you out?” his eyes showing you how unsure he was asking you that. You gave Choso a small giggle, “You’re a lot less intimidating when you look at me like that.” you teased, seeing him close his eyes at how embarrassed he felt. “I meannn-” you droned on, “Like on a ‘date’ or something.” You leaned back into the chair, making this conversation sound way too casual. “You want me to take you on a date?” he asked, unsure if he heard you correctly. You nodded your head ‘yes’, seeing him think about it. Finding it very difficult to process what you were saying. “...As friends?” he asked quietly, voice hoarse and cheeks pink. You let out a laugh, seeing his expression fall. Settling down a little and looking at him with warm eyes. “You're impossible.” your tone endearing with a smile on your lips.

Obsessive!Choso whose face looked horrified. “No Choso. Not as friends.” You grinned, tightening the grip you had on his hand. The blush roamed down his neck. “I suspected so- b-but I didn't want to assume.” he stammered, reddening cheeks feeling lightheaded by hearing your words. You furrowed your eyebrows, standing from the chair and pressing your hand on his forehead. Leaning over slightly, Choso lightly inhaled, feeling your hand on his face. Pressing the back of your hand to his cheek and humming. “You're warm-” you mumbled, seeing him close his eyes. “It's the heater-” he smiled, lifting his hand and wrapping it around your wrist. Hearing you scoff at his accusation, pulling your hand from his face. Looking into your eyes and blinking up at you.

“Don't blame my heater for your blushing.” You joked, rolling your eyes before sitting down. His hand falling from your wrist as you saw him stumble over his words. “M’not blushing.” he huffed, fiddling with his thumbs. “Sure. Blame it on you being sick.” you teased, seeing him look over at you. Not even bothered by the conversation at hand, treating this as though it was some casual topic. Finally being able to gather his thoughts, ‘You're going to kill me one of these days, you know that?’ he thought to himself, seeing you look rather pleased with how flustered he was.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing on his night stand. Seeing your eyes look down to see who it was, “Who's ‘Yuuji’ with a heart emoji?” you asked, looking up at him with a perked brow. Picking up his phone and seeing it ring, “My baby brother.” he whispered, clicking the small green button and raising the phone to the ear opposite to the one facing you.

Obsessive!Choso who answered “Hello?”, hearing his brother ask him questions. “No- No i'm better now.” he smiled, looking down to his lap. Strands of his hair falling and blocking your view of his face. “Yes Yuuji, I took medicine already-” he was cut off. Feeling your fingers push the hair from his face behind his ear, pads your fingers grazing his earrings. Looking over at you with a shocked expression before stuttering. “Y-yes I ate-” feeling his blush return. “I-I’m alone-” He stammered, you furrowed your eyebrows. Leaning in closer to hear what his brother was saying, so close the air he inhaled was sweetened by your perfume.

‘You never stutter- who's with you?!’ the voice from his phone asked him, making you smile. Choso tried leaning away from you, only for you to lean on the edge of the bed trying to hear. “My friend is here-” he irked, seeing you give him an offended look. Squinting your eyes as you feigned offense, ‘Friend?’ you gasped quietly. Making Choso nod his head ‘no’ in defense as his brother scolded him for making someone else sick. Even hearing his brother ask, ‘You have friends?!’ with a laugh before he exhaled harshly. “I will call you later Yuuji.” his tone stern and authoritative as you settled back in your chair. Silence in the air as you hear- ‘Tell your lover i say hiii-’ his brother teased before Choso hung up. Your perfume still stuck in the air close to his face.

It was quiet, sure. But you heard him clearly, making note it was the second time; that you knew of, that his brother referred to you as that. He looked over at you hesitatingly, seeing a smug look on your face. “Your brothers must be my biggest fans.” You tease seeing him give a pained laugh, clutching his ribs as he leaned against the wall. “They really are-” he grumbled, seeing you from the corner of his eye. Seeing you hesitate before asking. “You really love your brothers huh.” You asked, Choso turned his head to look at you.

“There aren’t words that could come close to describing how much I love them.” He declared, noticing a hint of sadness in your eyes at his words. “That's really sweet Choso.” You replied, giving him a warm smile. “And you? Do you have any siblings?” he asked, mentally scolding himself for not having asked you that sooner. “I do-” you replied without thinking. “Did- I did.” you nodded. Furrowing his eyebrows, “Did they…pass?” he pressed, not liking the look on your face. Almost like it pained you to speak about this. “Last time I checked? No, they're very much alive. Just not family anymore.” You shrugged, seeing the confusion in his eyes.

“I don't understand.” He blurted, not seeing how that was possible. “They're only a blood relation.” You trailed on, looking down to your hands on your lap. “They were always just random people I lived with.” You slouched your shoulders, “But they're your family.” he mumbled, snapping your head to look up at him. “They've never been a family to me. Not now, and they never will be.” You declared, looking back at him with furrowed eyebrows. Tone more stern as you saw his face, full of pity and sorrow.

Obsessive!Choso who wanted to hear more, asking you- “Older or younger?” hoping to know why you hold such disdain towards them. “Both.” You mumbled, looking at his face. Feeling like he was staring right into the largest crack you had in your heart. Choso took your hand, making you look at him with pinched eyebrows and soft eyes. Running his thumb over your knuckles.

“That's why I think it's so sweet how much you care for your brothers. Mine never cared the way you do.” You grinned, seeing him look at you with a soft smile. Choso couldn't help but feel his chest swell with pride. At being a good older brother, and from receiving a compliment from you. “I'm sorry.” he apologized for nothing, you gave him a prize winning smile. Scoffing before speaking up, “It's fine. I'm fine, I'll live.” You assured. ‘I am still sorry. I'm sorry you weren't cherished the way you should’ve been.’ Choso thought, blinking down to his hand holding yours. Feeling his heart throb in his chest from how much progress he had made with you.

pt 10 here

the past few days I was writing this it felt like it was never ending omg- THANK U FOR READING. I know I took a hot second in writing this- unfortunately life kicked me in the butt. ANYWAYS. im alr writing next part- (lets pretend im not the author of this) EVERYONE CALM DOWN THINGS ARE HAPPENING HEHE

#jjk #choso kamo #choso my beloved #jjk choso #choso x reader #jjk x reader #choso x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen choso #sfw jjk #emo choso #college au #non curse au #choso #kamo choso

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anton-luvr · 5 months

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Hi, how have you been? I love your blog and the way you write!💖 I have a request to make, if you're comfortable with that... How would Riize react when you think they are cheating on you, but in reality it's all a misunderstanding, and they're just too busy. (English is not my first language so I'm sorry if this is a little confusing!)

# WHEN YOU THINK THEY'RE CHEATING ON YOU ; 7riize.

⚝ bf!riize x gn!reader | angst | bf au ⚝ note ; im kinda busy, but im doing good!! thank you so much ily :( and don't worry abt it i understood your req perfectly!! thank u for requesting, i hope u like it <3

# SHOTARO. - for the first time ever, shotaro doesn't smile. he can only sit in silent shock while he processes your words, and the first thing he can think of to do is to hug you. holds you tight as he whispers apologies over and over again, feeling terrible that he made you think that he was cheating on you. reassures you gently that he would never, and promises that once he gets a rest day, he'll spend all his free time with you.

# EUNSEOK. - eunseok isn't one who usually shows his emotions, but pain and guilt is so evident on his face after hearing what you said. he had no idea that you were feeling this way from how busy he's been these days, and he feels awful about it. tells you that he's sorry while wiping your tears away, and he swears to himself to start treating you with more love and care from that day onwards, starting from right now.

# SUNGCHAN. - he hates himself for making you think that he was cheating on you. calls up his boss immediately with the fakest cough and sneezes, lying without batting an eye about how he was 'terribly sick' and needed 'at least two days off' to 'recover'. he spends those two days with you, never once leaving your side as he takes you out to all your favorite places and showers you with love and compliments.

# WONBIN. - even though he immediately reassures you that he's not cheating on you and spends the night with you in his arms, he still feels so bad. life still goes on as usual for the both of you the next day, him busy at work while you were busy with yours. but just to make it up to you, wonbin has a bouquet sent right up into your office - a bouquet of a hundred and one roses, reminding you that you're his one and only lover.

# SEUNGHAN. - he understands how you feel and why'd you think that way, so other than seunghan promising that he'll try to spend more time with you, he also lets you voice out your worries in detail. he listens with full attention, nodding when you mention how you didn't like one of his female coworkers because she seemed so close with your boyfriend. and right after the words have left your lips, seunghan slips out his phone and blocks her on everything, right in front of you. he wants you to rest assured knowing that he couldn't care less for anyone else in this world other than you.

# SOHEE. - sohee has not and would never cheat on you. he loves you too much for that. he tells you just that as he gently kisses away your tears, holding you tightly in his arms for the rest of the night. he feels horrible for making you feel insecure in your relationship, so he makes sure to shower you in extra affection for the next few days. breakfasts in bed, long kisses before he leaves for work, and constant updates with photos about his day to you.

# ANTON. - his heart literally shatters into pieces. he can't help but cry too, because how could he make the love of his life feel this way? he apologizes to you through sniffles and sobs, promising you that he'd never cheat on you. tries his best to finish up his work faster the next day so he can come straight home to you and into your arms.

taglist : @wonbons @mxlly143 @keehobaldboy @shawyle @yenart @lycheecheeseyogurt

#got kinda sad writing this...#got even sadder proofreading it.......#sarah's 400 ! ☆#riize #riize fics #riize angst #riize fluff #riize drabbles #riize imagines #riize reactions #riize scenarios #riize anton #riize sohee #riize seunghan #riize wonbin #riize sungchan #riize eunseok #riize shotaro #riize x reader

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girlreblogger · 2 months

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the annoyance with blk y/n and the stories she’s in is hilarious. her characteristics might be the problem one day or her side characters the next. it legit feels like we may never get to a balanced solution on what to do with our own representation since the wrong ppl always talk about it and create it. we have mean and shallow ppl who take over the conversation, ppl who really self hate but try and cover it up with “i just don’t want her to be a stereotype” and then the ones who probably love and support tyler perry movies.

the bottom line is the ppl who do write those niggafying, toxic (it’s a buzzword but that’s what they are) or smutty fics (not talking abt the actual good ones with a blk reader though 🧎🏽‍♀️) can do wtv they want and owe you nothing. that’s why they get so frustrated. i don’t think all the times those should be crucified for what they write when other groups of ppl (or our own) write all kinds of other crazy shit.

and.. i know a lot of ppl who don’t want to say it but y’all keep bringing up the smut and niggafying as the main problem, but i think it’s some of the ppl writing it and their underlings. it’s just no one wants to say anything.

an excerpt from a draft of mine

“a lot of ppl on here be weirdos or mean asl. so when someone block you don’t be like “oh what i did” “they that mad cause of my (internet—fictional—digital on screen) presence”

like nobody got time to go to your acc and say “i don’t like you” who cares. oddly some miserable ppl do actually but still. the lack of awareness is ridiculous. that’s why ppl don’t f with y’all.”

i was talking abt all of tumblr and every other app but it applies here.

from what i see on here, some are just straight up weird, cliquey, and chiesty (if that’s how you spell it) and that’s why ppl be so mad abt those types of books 💀. we also have to acknowledge the amount of overwhelming & honestly damaging blk yn fics (not to be confused with ppls screwed ideas of stereotypical) there are. i understand why ppl write them for personal reasons but when it comes to our own reflections of ourselves as blk women it’s almost hurtful to read some of the things people put “her” through. i mean even her with a white man that use aave and has cornrows is hurtful.. 😔 (i’m trolling now 💀) naw but fr. i personally don’t like reading blk women just being written for smut or going through crazy situations or kinda like.. i don’t wanna say unfulfilling but like.. idk i can’t think of the word. (edit: ppl write blk yn to be in unfulfilling situations) but girl i can watch a tyler perry movie for all that.

again. ppl write these stories for there own personal reasons, relate to them and enjoy them for those reasons as well. that’s why depending! on what it is i don’t think blk writers should be bombarded with hate like that. also ion think smut should be banned like y’all go to far can we just slow down on it … there are some nice ones out there i promise 🧎🏽‍♀️

but in all seriousness there are many other reasons why i feel toxic and smutty fics are popular for blk yn but i don’t think anyone cares to hear that and the conversion will prolly go back to nigga eren somehow which is crazy cause y’all be arguing over a fictional white man.

oh! 😒 i almost forgot 😒 the ppl who are against “ghetto” y/n to try and advocate for more fluffy or like.. normal (healing) stories and from what i see the ppl who are the most up in arms about it in my personal opinion seem to dislike certain parts of blkness that i appreciate personally and so i just straight up disregard their opinions. y/n doesn’t have to “act” (😒) blk but i see ppl get mad about her protecting her hair….. with a bonnet….

sigh, anyway but yeah we need more soft and sweet fics or just like calming ones? but someone gon have to write it! i don’t like this app or my writing all too much so i gave up a while ago.

just like many other blk writers….

gaspp! we should also do like a fluff challenge or sumn where writers do like fluff … march? girl idk so maybe that will trend and all the ppl who spend time arguing and going back and forth with ppl who write stories they don’t like can like idk look for other writers who write soft, normal, fun stories and reblog them or make a list of them. or maybe like possibly write their own stories too????

everyone says the smut fics gets the most likes and they do. that’s why you keep seeing them. so maybe support or refreakingblog the fics that are comforting to you so others can be as well.

i actually made this page to repost softer fics because i was tired of blocking certain tags so i can avoid heavy smut and subtly abuse fics. also pls leave the ppl who niggafy anime characters alone they will not be stopped. i mean we still have ppl who have been calling chris evans jamal since 2020.. calling him that to this date. married and all.

sigh… 2 more days until blk history month ends. maybe next year we can find a balance between “dramatic” and smutty fics and soft and slice of life ones for blk y/n next year. remember this is tumblr too and the ppl writing aren’t even getting paid for this but it’s for the ppl yk.

ppl who are respectful and reblog tho.

muah

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blue-jisungs · 1 year

Note

omgomgomg could i request riki with kids?? the video/pics of him with the little riki stan got me like 😭😭😭 hes so sweet cant. i hope you could write my request🫶🏼

enha + you with kids ♡

ooookay so i kind of… changed your request. i hope you don’t mind but i didn’t really know how to write this and then i was like “le gasp!! lemme look up enha with kids!!” and. i. fell. in. love. look at those pics :( so thoughts were being thought and i came up with ot7 scenarios!! :)

+ this “template” is a lil awkward but i felt like writing in bullet points would be too long?? idk

also yes as mentioned. i do not care abt aesthetic. LOOK AT THEM :( jay i love you sm 💔💔💔💔

┆彡 HEESEUNG [ 희승 ]

when it comes to him, he’s so gentle with kids :( he was playing with a little boy while you were standing off the camera and you swore your heart just exploded. his beautiful bambi eyes sparkling with joy as the little kid giggled at his (successful) attempts to make him laugh. hee patted the boy’s head and then suddenly looked up and sent you a wink as you try to hide, almost tripping on the cables and falling onto the staff.

but you, on the other hand. god, you’ll be the death of his. it happened on the same day, once the recording was over. and while he was having a little chit chat with others, he spotted you having the little kid from before in your arms – swaying him gently as you talked to his mom. jay had to shake heeseung’s arm to bring back his attention but that didn’t help much because all of his thoughts flew through the window. he’s a blushing mess, trying to get himself together. and he thinks you didn’t notice? maybe you didn’t see it with your own eyes but the boy’s mom asking if he’s your boyfriend made you connect the dots ;)

┆彡 JAKE [ 제이크 ]

he knows what he’s doing… little sly fox >:( playing with his cousin and sending you wide grins… he can see the way you’re looking at them both, cheeks flushed. he pointed at you, sitting across the room. “i’m gonna marry her one day, you know?” jake hummed to his cousin and she giggled. you didn’t hear what he was saying but even if you wanted to understand, you probably couldn’t due to how you couldn’t think straight because of the view of him…

and he tasted his own medicine when his cousin approached you. you looked at him instantly but jake pretended not to pay attention. but he folded in half as soon as his cousin was sat calmly on your lap, you were doing her hair gently and layla approached you, laying next to the kid that started patting her gently. his mind was racing so fast, with the images of mini you in his arms. or mini him running around? he didn’t even feel when someone accidentally stepped on his foot. he’s whipped. even more than you.

┆彡 JAY [ 제이 ]

you thought that jay didn't see your reaction. you saw the episode of willben show that your lovely boyfriend didn’t care to inform you about. when you saw jay holding ben so gently, with much care you had to stop the vid and yell into the pillow. what you didn’t realise if how jay saw it all due to his early comeback from work. you reassumed the vid, pressing your hands to your hot cheeks so they cool down a bit. even if it worked, jay saw what he wanted to see. and you were left with racing heart and the video of jay being a perfect husband material.

jay took you to a cafe on a date one day. and while he excused himself to go to the bathroom, he certainly didn’t expect to come back and see you talking to a small girl. jay was standing there, frozen and speechless due to how kind your smile was; how sweetly you were talking to the girl. suddenly you locked eyes with him and nodded, saying “yes, he’s my boyfriend. but i’m sure he won’t mind taking a picture with you”. no, he didn’t. but he couldn’t stop staring at you, instead of the camera, with a love struck expression.

┆彡 JUNGWON [ 정원 ]

jungwon truly looks like a cat. especially when he’s taken by surprise. eyes widening, lips parting slightly. he looks at you with help written all over his face when a small boy grabs his free hand. “hello there…?” jungwon asks softly and the boy looks at him, even more scared than him. jungwon realises the boy must have mistaken him for someone else. as he kneels and sends the kid the warmest smile you’ve ever seen, your heart melts on the spot. “let’s look for your parents, okay?” wonie asks and looks at you… but he notices the way you’re not focused at all. he just smiles and tugs your hand and signalises you to help. you do, obviously but your cheeks are flushed as you look at the small boy holding jungwon’s bigger hand.

as he recalled the last event with helping the little boy find his parents, he couldn’t really understand your reaction and what caused you to become a blushing blushing mess. but when then he saw you in a park, where you supposed to meet for a date, playing with a little girl and running after her with a laugh… he understood. his heart felt like it was about to explode, stomach swirling with butterflies. why did you look so cute? and… who even is that? when you suddenly picked up to girl, tickling her cheek and walking up to a woman sitting on a bench he realised it’s your friend. she pointed at him and you turned around to see stunned jungwon. meanwhile his mind was occupied with thoughts about how your possible kid might look like…

┆彡 NISHIMURA RIKI [ にしむらりき ]

most of the stuff he does is on purpose. to tease you. but when you two had to look after his mom’s friend’s kid, he didn’t even see an opportunity how to tease you. in fact, he was kind of nervous. the two little kids were running around like crazy, it was hard to look after two of them at the same time. to when he started playing with the boy, making car engine noises he realised how silent you became. he met your eyes and smirked upon seeing your red cheeks and stare glued to him. you shook your head, looking at the girl that was saying something to you. but you still didn’t seem to focus due to how cute riki looked with the boy. he was so innocent, so pure… and it was truly heartwarming to see him act so gently towards the kid.

after a long time he managed to get the boy to sleep. he rushed to you to brag about it but he was left frozen once his eyes stumbled upon you, fast asleep on the couch, with the girl hugging you and asleep too. the cartoon you put in the back to lull her to sleep seemed to work on you two. after taking tons of pictures he’ll never show you, riki shook his head aggressively hoping the smile will come off his face (because he couldn’t control it…?) and the swirl of butterflies in his stomach will go away.

┆彡 SUNGHOON [ 성훈 ]

the world stopped for a moment. you went ice skating with hoon, something you always do once the season starts. and you don’t really know how this happened but once second he was holding your hand and the other he was teaching a small girl how to skate, holding her hands and skating backwards. his smile; god his smile… it was so wide, so pure. and you have to stop in your tracks to admire this absolutely heartwarming view.

hoon never really thought about this. he knew that he wanted to spend his future with you but other than that, nothing specific. but when one day you barged into their dorm with a little boy on your hands, saying that you have to watch over him for a while and you thought it will be a great idea… well, his brain shut down and he didn’t hear what you just said. one would say there was not a single thought behind his eyes as he watched you play with the kid but in reality his mind was racing like crazy – bunch of what ifs bubbling in his mind…

┆彡 SUNOO [ 선우 ]

this little sly fox. he’s good with kids, duh; kids love him. and he know what effect he has on you (with whatever he does, though). so when once he’s playing with his two little cousins and pretends to be a guest at their tea party and lets them pamper him and put the plastic crowns on him and paint his nails… you can’t help but hide your face so he won’t see the red forming on your cheeks. he doesn’t have to, he knows. and when you overhear them taking, you melt completely ( “who’s the prettiest in the whole world, uncle sunoo?” “you two. and my beautiful girlfriend too” “she’s really pretty…” “yeah, she is” “do you love her?” “very very much! now can i have some tea?” )

then it’s your turn. sunoo sends you a cocky grin once you sit down next to him but it turns into a gentle smile once his cousins’ little hands are on you, putting crown on you and giving you the small teddy. and when one of them sits on your lap and clings onto you like a koala, the other one kicks him under the table because “it’s too rude to stare”. sunoo apologises with pink-dusted cheeks and pounding heart.

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist. @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinhobi ,, @jung0ne ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @moonacholy ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth

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enhastolemyheart · 6 months

Text

kinktober day 5 — soft!dom + daddy kink

nsfw content minors dni.

pairing fwb!heeseung x afab!reader

warnings drinking, fingering, semi-nudity, profanity, daddy kink, petnames, sexual harassment (nothing to the extreme jus touch without consent), semi-public setting, not proofread!

word count 1.2k+

kinktober masterlist — here

you did not expect your night to turn into this.

you were at the club, with your friends. drinking your feelings away, your friends letting you rant out to them about how frustrating heeseung was lately.

heeseung is your best friend. who you just sometimes happen to kiss and make out with, leading to some awesome sex that raises your dopamine levels to the brim.

after you gave a suck the night before, his mood completely changed. He didn't even give you pleasure, just simply dressing himself before leaving your apartment. You call and text him multiple time just to be left on voicemail and delivered.

Now, you're high on your ass. Desperately needing some kind of relief. Your fingers weren't enough, all you can think abt was heeseung and his ways that make you clench mercilessly.

You drunkenly slurred to your friends saying you needed a stronger drink and before they could've stopped your, your were already on your way to the bar counter.

"The most strongest drink that you have, and I want it fast." You hiss, vision a little blurry, feeling a little light on your feet.

When your receive your drink, you smile and a deep and husky voice states behind you, "her drink's on me."

"Oh why th- thank you!" You cheer, and he looks at you up and down before biting his lower lip, hand placing dangerously closer to your ass. You try to wiggle out of his grip but he was much stronger. You whimper when he squeezes the flesh and suddenly his face is too close to yours. You ask him to let you go but he simply chuckles, "I can't do that babygirl. I'm going to take you to my house and-"

His words get cut with his screams. His wrist that was touching your waist was now slammed onto the counter table with a vieny hand all too familiar to you. You look at it's owner, heeseung, whose eyes somehow show the emotion red.

"If I see you near my girl one more time, then you're dead. Got it?" He taunts, the sketchy man who touched nodded fervently wanting to get away as soon as possible. Heeseung throws him onto the floor and looks at you, "are you okay?"

You don't even get the chance to answer because he grabs your wrist, pulling you and taking to the club's parking lot. You get near his car and that's when you realise to stay mad at him but still that doesn't stop you from showing gratitude.

"Thank you for saving me Heeseung." You couldn't look at his face, eyes darting everywhere around the scene except his face.

"What were you thinking? What if something to you if I hadn't been there?" He accuses in a grumpy voice, he looks pissed off, and you can't help but feel angry for thinking he can get his way after how bad he hurt you.

"Why the fuck do you care?" Your words has him taken aback, eyes looking straight into yours. "How can you just pretend like you didn't hurt me that night. I get we are not a real deal. but, when you walked away making me think that you don't even care about me, hurt." Tears are forming in the inner corner of your eyes as you look at him.

He takes a step closer to you and you take one back, unexpectedly getting trapped between him and the car. His face comes dangerously close to yours and your breathing quickens. "I'm sorry for hurting you, angel. I wasn't intending to."

You can't make out any words after that because heeseung latches his lips onto the expanse of your neck. You softly gasp at the contact, your neck instinctively stretching to give him more area to throw kisses on.

"Heeseung wha- what are you doing?" You clutch at his shoulders as he begins to devour your neck. His lips kiss and suck and lick at every possible place that you leaves you feeling divine. His hand has a grip on your hip while his other one trails downward slowly from your face to where you need him the most.

"Trying to make things right babygirl." He rasps as he pulls away to watch your face, when he sees that you aren't doing or saying anything to oppose, he continues to make you feel good. So good.

"ohmygod hee!" your fingers get tangled at his locks. His right hand seeps past the hem of your underwear through under your skirt. His left holding onto the car for support so he doesn't press onto you too much. He silently smirks to himself how you probably would've worn a skirt for easy access for him and only him. And maybe, that's actually true.

His fingers immediately find your bundle of nerve as if it's his second nature and starts rubbing circles. The littlest movement of his hand, the way he is littering love bites all over your chest that's exposed through your tight top sends you in a frenzy.

He slowly and gently pushes his middle finger inside you, "fuck, love. You're so wet. all for me yeah?" he smirks as he looks into your eyes that are currently in a haze with the ecstasy you are feeling right now.

"mhmm all for you hee. ." you manage to let out along with a few strings of moans when he fastens the speed. you clutch at his shoulders and he starts growing hungry for more. He pushes your top all the way up to your collarbones and litters more love struck kisses all over your pretty boobs.

He can never get enough of your boobs.

the high of your pleasure heightens as your loud sighs and moans fill the air surrounding you both, the cool breeze making more goosebumps arise. "mmm fuck daddy!"

your eyes go wide just like his, his hand had stopped its movement momentarily before his shocked expression morphs back into one filled with lust.

that was the first you ever called him that.

and he thinks he just came in his pants.

something clicks in him. he acquires this overwhelming urge to just take power over you. to dominate you.

he pins you hands behind your back before his fingers are back inside you, teasing. his other hands holding you back against the car.

"call me that again babygirl. call me that every single time we fuck. understood?" the look in his eyes lowkey terrifies you. but, you love it.

you nods gently at him with a smile and he unexpectedly moves his digits inside you at a faster and harder manner. he wants you to come so hard you'll be screaming 'daddy' at the top of your lungs.

soon the knot in your stomach releases and your walls spasm against his fingers as he stops. he brings his fingers into his mouth and licks it clean, while maintaining eye contact, making you wet all over again.

"fuck daddy! that was so good." you bite your lip.

he gently pulls you aside not before giving you a fat wet kiss on your mouth in which you taste yourself, he open the passenger car door to you, hand out to gesture you get in.

before you can get in, he pulls you towards him, his lips nearing your pierced ear, and whispers in a cocky tone. "you're in for a long ride with your daddy babygirl."

taglist: @seungiesluv @jak-ey @unlikelysublimekryptonite @seungcore @heeseungshim @arizejkt19 @manasasugarbaby09 @wildflowermooon @lixieisfrv @racerhee @kaykay11sworld @heeliopheelia @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams

#<enhastolemyheart3 #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen smut imagines #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hyung line #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung smut #heeseung smut #heeseung #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung angst #heeseung angst #lee heeseung #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung hard hours #enhypen smut

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whalesforhands · 6 months

Note

i am an avid believer of pillow princess gojo and needy soft dom geto bc i am a part of the vanilla agenda (yes i know i am very boring). i feel like there’d be a few kinks here n there (maybe bondage? exhibitionism?? they seem like the type to like that) but overall they just wanna feel good with dyf!mc. I CAN IMAGINE THEM GETTING SOFT BUT WANTING MORE YK WHAT I MEAN?? MY MIND GOES BLANK THINKING ABT THAT RAHHH

-omori anon

whatever u want omori anon

more short but soft(ish) headcanons (nsfw)

warnings: fem!reader, this is NSFW, pls go away minors, 18+ only

satosugu

being together with this duo entails a lot of… ventures. not just in taking care of the 4 kids, helping them out with their homework, playing with them, testing out new recipes you saw in a magazine and on television and also just… trying to get back on your feet.

being with satosugu especially, when you finally show more comfort in activities of a more carnal nature, you’re not leaving the bed.

whilst you might think they prefer rough, hot and extremely vigorous bed exercises, they do. but when it comes to you, especially on your first night, it is insanely toned down. and it will remain that way until you express interest in going harder.

a lot of asking and forewarnings before taking any actions and a lot more of holding back on their end for your sake.

“can i touch you…?”

“i’m going to kiss you here, okay?”

“you sound so pretty… can you do that again for me, darling?”

“don’t squirm too much… ‘m gonna start.”

“ahh— fuck. don’t squeeze like that, i’m not going to last…”

“shit… you’re so gorgeous like that…”

“suck me off, please… wanna feel you…!”

their actions might be held back, but their kisses are not. every one taken from your lips feels like they’re trying to kiss you absolutely silly, until your head is filled with nothing but them.

“mmph…!” your tongues are entangling, the tempting swirl of your appendages moving vigorously as you feel his hand grasp onto yours almost desperately, fingers entwining just as he begins to pull away, a string of saliva connecting your once occupied lips, a gulp of air hastily swallowed by you as the flush of intimacy envelops your being. it isn’t long, not even enough for you to take in another breath before an impatient hand is already tilting your face towards his own, another set of familiar lips connecting your mouths for another restless makeout.

one round each? uhh… how about three?

“please, honey… i need another round, okay?” your thighs are already sore from having to bounce your hips on your own, your front collapsed onto his chest as you start to heave more, hair sticking to your face as exhaustion starts to catch up to you.

“don’t push her too hard if she can’t take it, satoru.”

“ehh? acting nice when you just went twice in a row is too mean to me, suguru…”

“at least i help do the work.”

“but it looks so cute when she’s struggling to do it herself…!”

jug of water right next to the bed because you’ll be here a long time. most of the time, there’s snacks provided too if satoru didn’t already eat them all.

cleanup is immediately done just for you the moment you look like you can’t handle anymore. no such thing as the ejaculate then evacuate here, not when your bare body is lifted in a princess carry to the bath to enjoy a bubble bath, a massage and suguru washing your hair for you as satoru helps brush your teeth.

bonus:

become a little more forward with their wants after your first night together. whether it be a new set of lingerie or cosplay in a wrapped box waiting on the bed, testing the waters by asking if you’re okay with pictures or videos or straight up being a little handsy.

i’m being serious about that last one.

you could be mid-conversation with gojo, telling him about your day as you sit with your back to his chest, his hands slithering their way under your shirt.

“and then shoko brought me to the old sushi place. the one with the mentaiko sauce i liked, but then i found out they didn’t serve any—“

“mhm, mhm.” he’s definitely only half listening when his hands rest on the skin of your stomach, fingers experimentally tracing shapes just below your breasts as you continue to talk, before you feel his hands quite literally start groping your mounds, flicking your nipples inbetween his fingers, squeezing your boobs etc. as you just… wonder if he’s still listening.

(it helps him focus)

#dyf au #satosugu x reader #omori anon

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liquidstar · 2 months

Text

wait speaking of getting isekia'd via truck, a couple weeks back me and a friend on were talking abt portal fantasy/isekai tropes (mostly bc i was infodumping abt rz again), and it made me think abt a fun concept for an ocverse. tho its possible similar things have been done obvs with just how inflated the genre is, just hear me out OK

story starts in the normal world, with a typical Nerdy Guy going about his daily life, expositing about how he feels bored and longs for adventure and magic, just like in all of his favorite media. as he's crossing the street, distracted by his mobile game, he doesn't notice The Truck(tm) coming straight towards him. except he's not hit by it- he's pushed out of the way in the last second, saved by a passing girl who gets hit in his place. this is who the story is about now.

mc gets sent to that sort of intermediary dimension that some isekai have, where she meets the Goddess Lady or whatever that was in charge of the whole isekai situation. goddess lady proceeds to freak out, because she nabbed the wrong person, and she's going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE. she starts questioning the mc, only to find out that this kid has a good social life, does well in school, is in sports, and has barely ever played a video game. basically the opposite of the socially introverted, underachieving, repressed, genre-aware guy she was supposed to have reincarnated. for the sake of fulfilling somekinda hero prophesy or whatever. and the mc kinda bargains to be sent to the fantasy world anyway bc, well, its that or death i guess. so the two of them kinda have to team up to course-correct this mix-up.

mc is kinda given a list of tasks to do that basically mirror how a typical story like this Would Go, expected to fall in line with the tropes in order to achieve the ultimate goal, but kinda ends up failing at all of them... or not? failing backwards, maybe. doing it in a way different from how its meant to go- using the wrong formula, but somehow getting the right solution. while sort of continuing to question the insanity of the whole situation, and the nature of this whole fantasy world. just fucking up all the tropes.

but a layer i'd wanna add on top of all that is the fact that the hero prophesy (or whatever) called for a man. so upon arriving to this new world, the mc is basically put into a "gender swapped" body and... doesnt seem to mind. this isnt an uncommon isekai trope either, but i hardly see it tackled with much care to really explore whole Gender Thing beyond gags about the "mismatch" (which can be in poor taste) or the conclusion that "well because their Body is now this gender, their gender identity changes to match" which i feel is a pretty shallow and binary take-away to draw abt bodies and identity.

but i think there can be more to explore w the prospect if you actually wanna get into gender stuff. in this case, i'd particularly wanna get into the idea of imposter syndrome. the main character was not MEANT to be... the main character. seen as a phony fighting tooth and nail to meet expectations, and constantly fumbling. not a real hero, or a real man. but its meant to be an act anyway, so why does that bother her? it was like that back on earth too, trying as hard as possible to be the perfect girl. a good social life, does well in school, is in sports.... but that good girl thing always felt fake too. or desperate. what was she trying to prove? how long as this BEEN bothering her, actually? why does it feel easier to breathe in this body, despite everything? the way this whole act makes her happy is scary, because its fake isn't it? but wait, which part was fake? the before or after? is it all fake? isn't this all just a mistake?

was it really a mistake? who is more heroic; a guy too focused on a mobile game to pay attention to those around him, or the person who risked their life to save a stranger? but the hero prophesy was for a "man," right? what does that even mean?

#the end is all questions bc if i ever did anything w this i would want to explore them basically #i dont know if i ever WILL its mostly just a concept im throwing out there for rn. brainstorming #but i think it could be fun #the only other isekai/portal fantasy type ocverse i have is the one w the dream traveling ocs. i wanna get back to them also #so many small oc projects that ive posted abt very briefly but i have not forgotten abt any of them i still think abt it #same w this even if i never really elaborate more on it im sure the idea will stay in my head #its obviously very much in its first draft baby phase rn a lot of ironing out the creases to do if i did wanna follow up in some way #like again its basically just a concept i dont have concrete characters or worldbuilding or anything just ideas. thata all

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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idolomantises · 1 year

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talking abt that one thing in velma thats on my mind a lot for the past few days (that turned into a big incoherent rambling about gay rep in media)

i'm seeing jokes about how the queer representation in mystery inc being so much better than the queer representation in velma and honestly it makes me want to go on a whole tangent about my thoughts on queer representation nowadays vs the more subtle examples decades prior.

There's this weird debate that goes on online about what is "good" queer representation, and one of the most notable and honestly annoying examples is that queer representation has to be so subtle that you could easily miss it/ignore it. i've always hated that take because its a claim mostly said by straight people who are uncomfortable with seeing characters who are openly queer and/or state their identity, but they present it as some sort of push for subtle and nuanced writing. personally i do prefer it when a character just, identifies as how they are without explaining their identity, but that doesn't mean flat out explaining your orientation is inherently bad representation. its why i will always defend the very clunky and awkward high guardian spice scene. it is absolutely poorly directed and written, but that doesn't make it "bad representation". however, I do consider the character who explains that he's trans bad representation because he is flat, uninteresting and very clearly a creator self insert. he doesn't feel like a well rounded character who's also a trans man, but just an incredibly sanitized example of trans representation.

i have many, many issues with helluva boss/hazbin hotel and i do genuinely find some depictions of queer characters just flat out offensive (you can argue with me about how angel dust being written like your average 90s gay stereotype is woke actually because he has trauma, i dont care), but i do admire and appreciate that the series doesn't want to sanitize its queer characters, even if its done poorly. though i could go into a whole rant about how i find it very telling that female characters that are queer are far less sexualized or allowed to be problematic compared to their queer male counterparts.

anyways back to velma. that show does something that i've always found pretty irritating in queer representation which is just this weird lack of faith in its audience. characters can't have a slow burn anymore. internalized thoughts, anger, frustration, longing. you have to immediately know that two characters are gay for each other, even if they're lifelong enemies. its like when modern horror movies open with the gore because they're scared people are going to be bored or leave early. there's no subtlety or chemistry between daphne and velma, they're just lovers because idk, its two girls who hate each other and who doesn't love that.

then i think about how mystery inc handled velma and her sexuality, how she was allowed to be well rounded and nuanced before you slowly realize that "oh, she doesn't like boys". i know her whole thing with shaggy is controversial among fans but i always loved how she does do something pretty unlikable but not immoral. yeah, it is shitty to force shaggy to choose between her and his dog, but i can understand her line of thinking and empathize with her. and i do like how they become friends in the end despite their awkward break up. It's always fun rewatching it and realizing that their incredibly awkward and cringe relationship was meant to be awkward and cringe. it was supposed to be weird and difficult to watch, because those two weren't meant to date each other. you could see how hard velma was trying to make the relationship work despite the fact that you never get the vibe that either character was full invested in it, unlike daphne and fred's relationship.

then you had velma and her relationship with marcie, which started off as sort of a catty rivalry (not full on attempted murder, i mean holy shit hbo velma) that slowly grows to where you're completely convinced that these two did gradually like each other. and i do really enjoy stuff like that, more subtle writing like that. which doesn't just apply to queer rep btw, my favorite ships are relationships that feel understated, something you have to really dig for and pay attention to. its why i consider bubbline the best f/f representation in cartoon. because its subtle, but not too subtle where it feels out of no where when they kiss, and nuanced in ways that enhances the relationship AND characters.

there's a good amount of relationships i see in cartoons where the creator, who is usually queer themselves, often wants to depict queer relationships, but is weirdly adverse to depicting the uglier aspects of that character, and refuses to add subtlety to it. steven universe is a show i've always felt conflicted on its handling of queer representation because on the one hand i appreciate writing lesbians that are messy, traumatized and make constant mistakes. but on the other hand, the show goes out of its way to ignore these issues and/or make excuses for it, making the decision to make these characters messy and complicated genuinely baffling (this is also one of the big issues i have with catradora and stolitz).

it makes me think back to my own work too. i really enjoy making fluffy, easily digestible gay content for my followers and myself because it puts me in a good headspace. But even now and then i like exploring those little nuances too, because i don't really enjoy stories with little conflict. Because of that acknowledgement of how satisfying it is to write fluffy, queer rep, you end up putting yourself in other creator's shoes. you're so used to media that either dehumanizes gay people or tells people that they don't exist that you push yourself to make the most in your face queer rep you can but its at the cost of an interesting and subtle characters. characters that don't really have arcs or places to learn and grow.

With bugtopia i made a joke about how i want some of my queer rep to feel like you're being queerbaited. It's not literal, obviously, but mixed in with characters who are already married and in same gender relationships, i really want to write dynamics that feel subtle enough for a bit of a slow burn. even if you know they're going to end up together, to at least value the characters on their own before centering them on their relationships. queerbaiting is something that deserves all the criticism it can get, but it is embarrassing when queerbaiting feels genuinely more interesting than actual queer rep because queerbaiting has that factor of "maybe they won't get together" that adds that bit of intrigue, vs so many shows that repeatedly hammer in your head "don't worry guys, they're gonna be lesbian lovers".

mystery inc (and many other shows) being forced to keep a relationship obvious while subtle to get through censorship really forced creators to be creative with their storytelling and not center characters around their relationship and identity. but nowadays i think shows like to take the easy way out. for me, i always thought the most impactful example of queer representation in steven universe is "Rose's Scabbard". I genuinely don't enjoy that episode because it's a good example of the show thinking that trauma is an excuse for shitty behavior, but i cant deny that an entire episode of pearl breaking down and finally accepting that she wasn't the center of rose's world. it's the crew being forced to be creative and push through censors to telling a compelling story about a traumatized lesbian slowly realizing that she basically deluded herself into thinking she was someone's savior.

I think it's silly to try to place good queer representation in one box. like subtle queer rep is good, but also queer rep where a character flat out states that their gay. where I think it falls apart is when it either reinforces stereotypes without properly deconstructing or expanding on them, makes the characters so overly kind and non-controversial that the relationship is just boring, or try to make your messy and complicated characters but the narrative refuses to hold them accountable or at least acknowledge that they're doing something wrong. and to clarify on that last part, i'm not asking for some hays code nonsense where every bad person goes to prison and/or promises to stop being a bad person again. i mean the narrative doesnt just fucking sugarcoat their behavior. i don't want to see helluva boss ignore the fact that stolas made blitzo call him out for only using him for sex and then pathetically rush to justify their relationship by giving them a bizarrely sanitized and sweet backstory. and i don't want to see catra literally end the fucking universe and only do something good because she's straight up out of options and the show just decides that that was her redemption and she doesn't need to do anything to atone for what she did (including repeatedly abusing and verbally berating adora).

anyways velma has none of those interesting qualities and i'm pretty sure daphne and velma kissed because the creator is a weird pervert who thinks two girls kissing is hot.

#txt #i was thinking abt knocking off some of my longer posts on my tumblr but ya know its tumblr. its made for a blog #twitter isnt really a good place to write think pieces because its not really made for thinkpieces #i really enjoy expressing my thoughts on discourse and media but i don't want to over do it because ya know. you guys followed me for my ar #not my 2434334th post about why i think helluva boss is a bad show #but i've been thinking about sometimes prioritizing what i want to do vs what people want to see from me. so now you're getting #a long ass rant about why i think velma showing two teenagers kissing by episode 2 #encapsulates the overall issue with modern queer rep

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peachdues · 11 months

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Re: bundle of joy - I can't get Sanemi's comment abt how he watched his mom suffer miscarriages at the hand of his father out of my head. What if he saw his mom cry every time she realized she was pregnant again? Like she loved all of her kids, but she knew what their dad would do to them. What if he also helped take care of his mom through her pregnancies and post-partum because his dad never did? I'm just UGH I'm SO SOFT FOR NEMI.

THIS THIS THIS.

Sanemi was the eldest and therefore took on the most responsibility after his mother, and he was a mama’s boy through and through. I think his mother was his single biggest influence. I actually think his early life observing his father’s treatment of his mother plays a huge role in how he approaches Y/N’s pregnancy — and his relationship with her in general.

I imagine that everything he did for Y/N in Bundle of Joy, he learned by helping his mother during her pregnancies. I agree that he probably saw how difficult pregnancy was for his mother (because let’s be real, none of those kids were born from love, and that’s heartbreaking), and has long since promised that if he ever has a child, he will do everything he can for both his kid and their mother. He’s ecstatic at first, but then Y/N says she wants to keep things in the down-low for a bit, and suddenly he’s terrified that he’s done to her what his father did to his mother, and he would rather die than cause her any pain. I think his deepest insecurity is becoming like his father, and while Sanemi can be a hardass and tough, he cannot be anything other than soft for his lover and their children.

I think that after the kid is born (and let’s be real, he is so girl-dad coded), he would take the most parenting inspiration from his mother. Sure, Sanemi is still going to be Sanemi, but both he and Genya idolized their mother. Not only does he love his kid without limit, but I could also see him trying to incorporate her gentle way of parenting, too. He wants his child(ren) to have everything he didn’t when he was growing up, and he will do anything to ensure they get it.

Something that I wish we saw more of in the Sanemi-realm of demon slayer content is more of an understanding of how he treats women in general. I think there’s a tendency to write him along the same lines of how Obanai treats other female slayers apart from Shinobu and Mitsuri, but I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate.

We’re told several times that Sanemi is kind to women, but I don’t think that’s limited to non-Corps women. He observes a lower-ranked female slayer being harassed by M*dea and straight up makes the pig piss himself by yelling so much at him. He doesn’t tolerate any disrespect towards women because Sanemi starts every day by drinking his Respect Women Juice. I’m not saying he’s soft on female slayers, but I think he’s definitely more subdued. He’s not going to level personal/emotional attacks against them because that’s what his father did (along with the physical abuse) and Sanemi hates his father.

Honestly, tempted to explore more of the Bundle of Joy universe — like how Y/N and Sanemi actually meet and get together/their time in their secret relationship, and even as parents. Sanemi doesn’t strike me as someone who sleeps with another without already being emotionally invested in them to some degree, because he doesn’t like to feel as though he’s using them as a means to an end. I would like to write some parallels between Y/N’s pregnancy and his memories of his mothers’ pregnancies and show how they directly influenced him later on. We’ll see!

#demon slayer #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi headcanons #demon slayer hcs #hashira #kimestu no yaiba

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fionaheartswomen · 6 months

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“You’re beautiful just the way you are”

Summary: Y/N struggles with body dysmorphia, and as her and mattstart getting ready to have sex for the first time, she freaks and things he won’t like the way she looks

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Sex, Body Dysmorphia, Crying, Angsty, , Locals DNI or do i dont rlly care

AN: This is my first smut so pls lmk wht you think. also this is js kinda what my body dysmorphia is like when it comes to sexual interactions sorry if this isn’t relatable for you

Y/Ns POV

I was excited to have sex with Matt for the first time, we’d been dating for 6 months and I wanted this moment to be special for both of us

Things were getting heated, as I was sitting on Matt’s lap, as we harshly made out, full of clashing teeth, lip biting, etc.

Matt pushes me down onto my back, as he lifts up my shirt, abt to see my body, my mind immediately starts to overthink and I keep telling myself he’s going to hate how I look

I immediately pull my shirt down, pushing Matt off of me, and sliding down from the bed to the floor, tears welling up into my eyes

“Baby.” Matt says joining me onto the floor “Are you ok, did I hurt you?” He questions, worried as if he did something wrong.

“No.” I say “It’s just I-I hate my body, and I feel like you’ll s-see me how I see myself. I try to say out of chocked sobs

“Hey, love, look at me” Matt says bringing me to face him, wiping the tears falling down my face

“You’re beautiful just the way you are, and I love you. I don’t give a fuck what your body looks like” Matt says

“Promise?” I ask

“I promise, beautiful” Matt says, before grabbing my jaw and placing his lips of mine

“Now, can we still have sex are do you want to stop?” Matt asks

“Yes of course we can” I say before sitting back on the bed before Matt pushes me onto my back, sitting on top of me.

He kisses my lips, softly, before it turns into another rough makeout.

“Feel how hard you make me” Matt whispers into my ear

Matt places his full-hard cock onto my thigh so I could feel how hard he was

Matt takes mine and his shirt off kissing all over my stomach

“God” Matt groans “You’re so beautiful.” He says before placing himself in between my thighs

“Can I take off your shorts and panties, beautiful?” He ask “Yes, please.

Matt wasted no time before he was taking off my shorts and panties, diving straight into my pussy. I moan as his tongue flicks my clit. My hands flying immediately to his hair grabbing it from the pleasure.

Matt, still sucking my clit decides to add three fingers into me. I moan loudly, not expecting it, but liking it bc it felt so good.

“Does it feel good baby?” Matt says. I just whimper hoping he took that has a yes. In which he did

“Matt-FUCK im going to cum” I moan out.

“Go ahead cum for me pretty girl.” Matt says taking his left arm with all the tattoos on it, to toy with my nipples making me moan.

I cum all over Matt’s face moaning loudly.

“God you taste so good” Matt groans

“Are you ready for me to fuck you?”Matt says “Yes please” I practically moan out

Matt laughs before removing all his clothes off. Matt goes to grab a condom from the drawer before I stop him

“You can cum inside me, im on the pill” I say. Matt just laughs before saying “Ok, love” Matt saying spitting into his hand, to lube himself up before he is back hovering above me, before shoving all 9 inches inside me.

I moan loudly, because he’s making me feel so full. “Tell me when to move, love.” Matt says

After a couple of seconds, I moan “You can move.”

Thats all Matt needed to hear before he was thrusting in and out of me, groaning into my ear, as I moan loudly.

“Baby you feel so good. I love you so much and your perfect body.” Matt groans out

“I love you too” I moan out. Before pulling Matt down for a hot makeout as he still thrust in and out of me.

The pleasure was so nice, and I was so surprised we hadn’t done this sooner.

After a few more minutes of Matt thrusting in and out of me I felt myself about to cum for the second time tonight.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum” I say clenching around Matt “ Me too. Go ahead. Cum for me, love” Matt groans

After a couple of seconds I’m cuming all over Matt’s cock.

A few more thrusts and Matt’s cuming inside me plopping next to me.

“That was amazing” I breath out coming down from my high.

“It really was.” Matt says

“ YN i just want you to know I love you so much, and I could careless what your body looks like.” Matt says

“Thank you baby, I love you too.” I say.

Matt puts my head on his chest before breathing out “I really do. I love you so much” Matt says

“ I know” I whisper before pecking his lips, and laying my head back onto his chest before I both fall asleep, in his arms

“How did I get so lucky” Matt says before falling asleep right after me

A/N: pls tell me if this was good bc I feel like this is terrible.

#matt sturniolo #chrissturniolo #nicolassturniolo #mattsturniolosmut #ynsmut

@daddyslilchickenfingers @sturnphilia @strniohoeee

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rebouks · 6 months

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Let's be nosy and see what a few folks have been up to recently and/or since Somnium ended, shall we..? 👀

Kaden/Joey are still around, somewhere.. Joey would probably tell you by accident, but Kaden keeps him on a tight leash. I very much doubt either of them have changed their ways, you can't teach an old dog new tricks and all that... I dunno if we'll really see em again properly, though I never say never!

Brynn, Ace and Robert may have left Del Sol, but Randy and Genesis are still stuck in their old ways. Sissy likes the attention and money from her "job" too much to leave. I think part of her still hopes someone's gonna whisk her away to a life of luxury and she'll live happily ever after, just like Brynn did.. assumedly 😩 Randy won't leave without her ofc, and he doesn't really like change anyway. He's lazy, what else is he gonna do?! The motel barely makes any money either, but he manages with a few odd jobs from the less savoury folks around town. They're doing swell 👍

Luckily, no one ever ratted on Darien and he was far too careful to end up under the microscope without being exposed - especially since Wyatt left the scene - so he moved back to San My eventually. Ever the workaholic, he found himself a job at the same accounting/law firm as Wade (props to anyone who remembers him lmaoo) he doesn't need the money but he'd probably go insane without a job ngl 😆 He doesn't really find it easy to make friends either, and Wade recently found himself behind bars for a lil tiny bit of tax evasion so he's pretty lonely-.. although he did meet a fellow asexual lady friend he's been on a couple dates with recently. They have fun n' get on well, but she thinks he's this straight laced/awkward accountant and it makes him feel weird, like he's lying about himself.. so idk how long that'll last. I think he kinda misses being part of a "family", however fucked up it was.. but most of all, he just misses Wyatt 😔

Alma and Mack have been hanging out more often recently, just casually tho u kno?? She likes her freedom too much to give it all up, and although he's a great lover, he's a terrible boyfriend lmaoo.. I think she's accepted that Mack is Mack so they're not making it serious or official this time. They're not exactly getting any younger either, may as well have some fun whilst they're still here, right?! Kobe's considering moving out 'cause eugh 😆

Brivan n' co are just kinda living life right now, working, hanging out with Jacob/Suzie/Miya a fair bit and tryna get used to the news of Jude n' such u kno? Pixie's hitting her milestones like a champ ofc, but she's a picky eater just like her pappy 😅 Bruno insists he's fine but he's been a lil quiet and weird recently. Part of him still struggles with his old self and his guilt, though he ain't exactly a talker, so he retreats into himself now and then instead. He's been thinking of proposing to Ivan occasionally as well, but he doesn't want to do it whilst he's in a funk AND he's a lil worried (aka majorly overthinking) the fact that Ivan might not take too well to being proposed to?? But wait, nah.. he'd love it, right? Maybe-.. unless he hated it, maybe he'd rather be the one to ask-.. should he? Yes-.. no, wait-.. maybe?!!? Probably-.. AGHHHHHFJSDK <- said Bruno's brain 🙈

Jessie and Ivan have been taking it slow, mostly since she's so damn busy all the time, but also 'cause they hardly know each other n' all. Ivan's kinda bummed she's slow to trust him, but he can't exactly blame her so he's being patient n' meeting them whenever he can. Jude is so smitten with his new pappy tho, he even wanted to grow his hair just like him 😭 Oscar n' Robin have tagged along a few times as well since the kiddos are practically the same age, but idk if Robin is too sure abt Jude just yet! He's very talkative and he's a big hugger.. I wonder where he gets that from?? 🤣 I think Jessie's finally warming up to the idea of sharing Jude 'cause she agreed to leave him alone with Ivan for a sleepover soon! They're gonna get dressed up n' head to Oscar's for a spooky party! Oh, and Oscar thinks Jessie has a nice rack....... boi plz 🙄

Not pictured/spied upon..

Tilda - she's just existing rn tbh! She hangs out with Brivan/Pixie now n' then which she enjoys more than she'll let on! She's tryna stay away from dating and focus on herself too.. but she's not all that keen on herself so that's hard work 😩 a few dates here n' there but nothing interesting! She's also still ignoring her family.

Noah n' co - Aspen started teaching a few mommy/toddler yoga classes in the upstairs portion of Noah's gallery since he barely uses it, Juni loves it! Juni started ballet recently too 🩰 Noah's still salty with Oscar for not hanging out more but the man's busy dammit! I think Oscar's glad he's on semi-decent terms with everyone but he'd rather keep them at arms length so it stays that way skdjskjd

Salton - Alton's still Alton lmao.. though Sid gives him more shit nowadays since she's mostly retired she's realised he's even lazier than she thought and I'm sure she regrets letting him get a TV! She's a bit bored/lost tbh, which is why she hasn't fully retired yet.. introspection doesn't suit her (so says she) and she doesn't like all this extra time to think n' shit.. ough 🙈

Rhys & Tommy - both finished uni wooooooo! They're staying with Rhys' parents for now tho, Tommy's not rlly sure what to do with his psychology degree yet but he still thinks he'd like to be a psychologist so maybe he'll get a job/save up n' do his masters or smth?! Rhys has been taking on jobs as a wedding/event photographer for now, but he'd like to veer more towards photography as an art form-.. tho he's not sure how to go about that just yet either 🤔 they're figuring it out and they're happy so it doesn't rlly matter toooo much for now

Uhhhhh idk I've probably missed some folk out but feel free to ask abt anyone else in the comments! 🧡

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sun-stricken · 2 months

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I hope this isn’t too much of a bother but do you have any hcs abt grays time in avatar? Cannon is frustratingly vague about his time there. Have a nice day!

i totally thought i responded to this days ago holy shit its been a minute

I havent read or watched the avatar arc in forever, and refuse to do it again so i played it a bit fast and loose with the dynamic

This gets a bit dark, just a little forewarning

* if you asked the mages that shared his time at avatar, Gray had earned the reputation of someone callous and cold and untouchable, who didnt get his hands dirty

* he used more charismatic techniques to obtain information, or fear, but it was rare to see him physically harm them

* If you asked Gray about his time in avatar, he wouldn’t give you a straight answer, if he gave one at all

* Avatar knew who he was, for an undercover mission he wasnt under a whole lot of cover. He was sent in as himself, his “cover/backstory” was a lot of half truths and a warped narrative

* He climbed through the ranks faster than expected, which caused a lot of rumors and speculation, such as maybe the ‘Higher Ups’ were so enthralled by an ex-light guid member turning over they rushed him through, or he did something so heinous they were impressed, or maybe he slept with them

* there were a lot of rumors.

* Of course, most arent true, Gray just had more to offer than the average person

* In most dark guilds / cults there are ‘trials’ of sort to prove someone loyalty, hazings of sorts

* He had to go through them ten times over

* It lasted weeks, around a quarter of the time spent at Avatar was his ‘initiation’

* There were certain points where Gray thought they might actually break him

* He refused to use his ice-make magic during his time in Avatar, he couldnt bear using Urs magic for something like this

* He developed these piercing migraines from his eyes constantly darting around his surrounding, and he rarely slept

* Avatar wasnt a inherently paranoid guild, but it was protective and unrelenting, being caught as a traitor was terms for a public violent execution

* There were two other alleged traitors in Grays time there, when they were accused they were tortured and executed in front of the entire ‘guild’

* and he wouldn’t allow himself to even twitch in case that set his own death in motion, It just served to further his reputation

* He never told Erza about this.

* Despite his reputation, the untouchable aura he gave off proved attractive to some people, they thinking being seen fraternizing with someone like him would earn them some respect, and given some of the rumors surrounding him, they thought he would reciprocate

* He didnt, for obvious reasons, and he often left the more handsy and assertive with frostbite and frozen to the ground for hours

* He had bi-weekly check-ins with Erza so he could relay his and their progress and so she could gauge his mental state; Gray gave her watered down versions of the things hed seen and endured during the months he was there unless it pertained to what she needed to close the operation

* He and Erza had a system where he would call her and she would help him smuggle out any victims Avatar took for information or as a message

* He had killed once while in Avatar, it was a man they were ‘interrogating’ who couldn’t provide anymore information and they couldnt just let him go, so they entrusted Gray taking care of him while they watched, it was a test to see if he would, it was as fast and humane as killing someone can be but he will never ‘get over’ it

* He can still remember exactly how he looked, how he sounded, down to the smallest detail

* That was what almost broke him

* He didnt draw it out, it was fast and clean, which was another reason for his ‘doesn’t get his hands dirty’ reputation

* He tried to live by the ‘the ends justify the means’ principle, he survived Avatar by doing what he had to, regardless of what that was that was

* He tried so hard to help himself cope with it, but he just couldnt no matter how hard he tried

* Even though he acted annoyed when the rest of his team burst into Avatar and tore down his whole operation, he was relieved, so fucking relieved he didnt have to stay any longer

* The transition after Avatar was, for lack of a better term, fucking terrible. there was a lot of panic and guilt and paranoia and dissociating to get him through it

* He trained his instincts to act to the slightest trouble, which would be fine considering every movement towards him before was trouble

* But hes back with his friends now, with the people who wouldnt hurt him. So instead of being proud of his reflexes all he feels is panic and guilt

* Gray was constantly searching for an exit and always kept one open and in sight, and would forget he was with safe people and lash out if they blocked one

* Months following the reformation of Fairy Tail held a lot of blanks for Gray, his brain in an attempt to finally protect him would have him go on autopilot, dissociate. He did this a lot early on after Deloria but he thought he ‘grew out of it’, clearly not

* His sleep got even worse after Avatar, he thought the familiar environment would help him but it only made him more on edge

* He knew what could happen to them if he let himself sleep at the guild, the thought of something happening while was taking a fucking nap was nauseating enough that his brain wouldn’t let him let his guard down enough to feel tired

* And sleeping at home was out of the question completely, if a dark mage decided tonight was the night for vengeance against him for tearing apart their cult, how could he defend himself if he was asleep?

* This was fine for a while, but when the adrenaline crash of no longer actually needing to be on guard 24/7 and the weeks of no more than half an hour (involuntary) naps caught up to him, it caught hard

* i mean, it was brutal, collapsed at the first moment of relative peace he came across, it felt almost like withdrawal, with a lot of sleeping

* in some ways he feels so fucking angry and almost betrayed by Erza for asking him to go undercover for her, for making him go through everything he did. But he knows if he didnt its possible she wouldve, and he would do it all over again if it meant that wouldnt happen.

* In other way, hes angry at himself for letting himself get to this point, for letting them break something in him like they did.

* He’ll realistically never be able to go back to before, never be able to trust people, his friends, truly and without reservation again

i hate the avatar arc sometimes but it provides such good material

#fairy tail #a lot of rhis is worldbuilding for some reason #gray fullbuster #erza scarlet #sun strickens ft #sun stricken answers #fairy tail headcanons #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #i mean theyre implied to be there #so #angst is my favorite snack #gray and his violent guilt complex vs having to become a dark mage #who will win?!#hopefully therapy #avatar arc

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