#like i didnt know reading comprehension was this hard

[camelspit]

hey. maybe you shouldn't write a book review if you haven't even finished the fucking book. btw.

#i see shit like DNF AT 32% on goodreads all the time and it annoys the shit out of me #how can you give a good review if you havent even been through all the source material?? #how can you objectively say you know it well enough to write a review? #especially when its below 75% #or even 50% #It annoys me so much #goodreads reviews in general annoy me alot because #people cant seem to tell the goddamn difference between i didnt like it and it was bad #for a website about reading #the users can be severely lacking in reading comprehension #anyway ive always felt like this but it sort of boiled over last night ig. #because i read a book that went so so hard. And it has 4 stars which is like. pretty hard to get. in my opinion. #And someone gave it a low rating because they listened to 32% of the audiobook and didnt care for one of the voice actors. #and then said they got the physicsl book to read and then didnt read any of it bc they didnt want to #And thats fine! But like! You are not the person that should be writing a review about it! If you havent experienced the whole thing! #>:(

[the-s1lly-corner]

I read one of your requests about stoic reader and saw that Caine would try to get the reader to be more emotional, hoping that they don't keep everything to themselves. But what if reader really don't understand their feelings and emotions? They really have some kind of problem with expressing their feelings.

Caine helping reader with their emotions!

Think tonight's plan is the answer 3 requests, stretch my legs, charge my phone if I need to, and repeat.. we'll see how many rounds I'll last, since that nap didnt really.. do much for me actually.. eepy.. plus I need to wake up at 6am

Oh boy this is def gonna be hard for me to write since I am bad at identifying my own emotions as well as having issues with perceiving myself (and having issues when I do perceive)

Offers the basics I think; journal and log how you feel and how you're days went, reflect on yourself, recommends the "when you feel something name emotion in your mind" exercise

You guys probably sit down and do art work together to try to express emotion through that rather than words; and sometimes if that doesnt work you guys read and try to discover new words to describe things

Because sometimes "angry" or "happy" just doesnt cut it you know? Sometimes you need to find a different word, or perhaps even get poetic with it

Is all ears when you want to talk to him about this topic!

Well he has no ears...

But

You know...!

Honestly I think caine would join you on a lot of these activities since he himself needs to work on understanding feelings and emotions better, given that hes an AI of sorts and is still struggling with this sentience thing

Like yeah sure he lives you, he knows that's a fact

But sometimes he struggles with reading his own emotions as well as the feelings of others

While you're stoic, caine is out there and over compensating for his lack if comprehension

I'm sorry that was mean but I truly dont know how else to word it

You guys just work together to learn, you know?

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x you #caine x reader #caine imagine

[ofthenoseclan]

@kitsake simple answer to solve, really! first four are taken up by the protagonists hakurei reimu and kirisame marisa, who have insane amounts of subtext for each other and massive fan content surrounding their pairing, as well as usami renko and merry hearn, who are textually in a relationship.

theres only one spot for the gays left and its the hard part here. despite its overwhelmingly yuri-adjacent fanbase, in canon touhou is an extremely romance-light series that barely acknowledges gender and sexuality at all—hell, the two i mentioned above, renko and merry, are dating, and its still a reading comprehension test to notice it given how little they bring it up between each other. you could call touhou the platonic ideal of a platonic story. so what im saying is i get to pick a character i like and call them sapphic because its my post and i get to make the rules. and i say its kanako and suwako as a unit. theyre living together theyre textually sanaes moms they had a kickass sukeban rivalry in their past and they decided to make out about it. thank you for coming to my ted talk

the homophobic spot is taken up by meira, second stage boss of the second game, who is the only character in the entire touhou franchise to utter anything homophobic in the text. this happens when meira says she "wants [the power of] the hakurei [shrine's god]." reimu, an innocent child who knows not of class-s and never will, says "hey you dont have to fight me to ask for my hand in marriage yknow", to which meira responds with "i didnt mean you i meant your god! besides, we're both women! thats gross." reimu completely doesnt get why that is. she then defeats meira and we never see or hear from meira again. her entire character is to exist, be a class-s trope, and die. and touhou has never seen an explicit mention of relationships in its setting happen ever again in its aro-as-hell franchise's run from that point on. the end

#touhou #blub #hydrophone

[rigelmejo]

So I haven't posted in a while. Little updates:

I finished arc 1 of Guardian in chinese again. So now I wont feel bad reading the book 1 english translation.

I took a break from chinese for a while then came back to read. And its interesting to me how much is stored like "2nd level down" in my memory. I don't recall words when trying to talk, after a long enough break. But I start reading, and my brain subvocalizes the hanzi and I can recall this Gist General Meaning of the words. Some words I recall their meaning and all, some just an overall general idea. But I havent forgotten much, nothing totally forgotten, and then most of the details of words come back within an hour or reading. Its surprising to me that reading chinese, memory wise, seems a LOT like reading french. I didnt expect it to be quite as similar a process. But it seems that remembering hanzi Words is as permanent as remembering french word stems/endings (or english ones). Reading skills have long staying power, and don't degrade much even with long breaks between usage. This is Excellent news. Since I don't have time to study much for the next several months, so I'm glad reading skills will stay as good as they are Or Improve if I read, without needing maintenance study. I'd like to improve my listening skill too, because being able to understand audiobooks would increase the chinese novels I could get through that I want to read (audiobooks would be faster than reading). But I dont have time yet for listening reading combo study, and time will tell if i do that activity WHEN and IF listening skills also gradually solidify then become reliable so one can study more sporadically and still see improvement.

My french skills are. Fascinating. I havent purposely studied in like over 5 years. I dont get that much French exposure (my google is in french but tbh google email and notifications do not use a big variety of words). But I've noticed a dramatic improvement in listening skills. My french reading skills have been fine for years. Theyre at a level where I can read like a high schooler: so i can read fiction for adults, but some words or literary devices go over my head and I have to just guess, the more in depth text analysis of themes might be a challenge, but just getting the story/information/most details is fine. I havent had to limit what i read in french in ages. Its just a matter of in french i feel like i did in high school where some fiction makes me "think hard" to grasp some points, versus english where i dont run into needing to Think Hard like that unless I'm reading something written pre-1800s. Anyway my point is: reading skills have been stable a while in french. Listening skills have markedly improved despite very little purposeful practice. I think I should probably start listening to podcasts or audiobooks some point soon. Through scattered listening to B1 and B2 comprehensible audio on youtube, and french shows, im to a point where if the audio has visual context i can follow everything going on and learn new words pretty easy. So now its just listening to french when i have no visuals to rely on, that's a struggle. I remember a few years back, i could not listen to french shows id just get confused, i needed the subtitles to follow anything. My ears mustve gotten used to french or just gotten used to Listening Better to things. Anyway, if i start trying and French Listening Only materials ill mention some progress.

Anyone have any french audiobooks or podcasts/fiction story podcasts they enjoy???

Japanese. also in a weird place. ToT. My biggest hurdle isnt even japanese: its being too chicken to challenge myself. I can play Yakuza Ishin in japanese and follow the main idea and objectives and main points in scenes. Yet i have NOT played more cause it feels Draining to grasp all that info from context and im lazy. I know if i watch a show in only japanese, with japanese subtitles, i know enough to grasp the main plot. But im lazy and its a LOT of effort to see the japanese subtitles and match new sounding words with kanji and try to remember the new pronunciation AND pay attention to the brand new plot. So i fall back onto english subs. I KNOW i can read japanese novels with a click dictionary, its just such SLOW reading, and if i just read while listening and Guess all unknown words its mentally exhausting even though its faster. I even have the easy peasy Glossika Japanese audio to listen to, but im still on lesson 36 because i have to Pay Full Attention when i listen to new lessons and im too lazy to listen with full attention ToT. I can watch lets plays in japanese, i understand them, but the effort of focusing is so much MORE than it would take if i just went to watch an english lets play where i can just hear in the background and follow it fine not even looking at it.

I am at a POINT in japanese where I CAN just learn by doing now! Which is huge! Its an incredibly useful milestone to be at! And makes future study, in the long run, much less daunting to plan as it can become just Do Stuff In Japanese to study. But since im at the beginning of this Comprehend Enough to Learn More from Context phase... learning new stuff from context still takes SO MUCH EFFORT. ITS SO DRAINING. Paying enough attention to comprehend things ive studied is exhausting, paying extra attention to new stuff and guessing what it means is draining and requires a Lot of focus. I know this is just how this stage goes but. Im so lazy.

What i need is something in japanese im SO interested in, that it drives me to engage with it even though I'm drained because im so Curious and Interested in understanding, so i push through until comprehending gets easier. Ideally, a game or show, something that plays so i am Forced to frequently proceed to the next sentence. Because with books and manga i will just stop and dwell on a paragraph for 2 hours and not learn much new stuff.

This stage is especially grating because im not in the stage with french or chinese anymore. I can listen to chinese shows in the background, check my phone while listening, not use the chinese subtitles, pay half attention while drawing. Chinese audiobooks require More attention, but i can listen to them walking or driving without subtitles/transcript and still follow the plot. With french Im to that same comfortable point with shows and youtube videos, not audio only stuff yet but i dont Engage with french audio only stuff. My point is Japanese is the only one where Im really feeling that INTENSE FOCUS drain whenever i try to engage with challenging new stuff in japanese. I dont feel an intense drain with chinese unless I read one of my harder reading level Print Novels or a higher vocab audio only material. I dont feel it with french unless Im doing it with audio only material. I feel the drain constantly with japanese.

#rant

[chaotic-archaeologist]

all the specialists say my body pain is mechanical with no discernible cause. which means my body hurts because my body is weak because im lazy and dont exercise. so i started and tried really hard for one year without letting up and it didn't help and now they say i should try harder.

also im not american and we have universal healthcare without referrals so i could and did just go directly to specialists and super specialists in pain related stuff and they all said this. do i believe them and if i dont where do i go because these are the specialists

sorry about this you're the only disabled person i know and i didnt know who else to ask. everyone else just says i should try harder and ths pain will stop. what should i do

Okay, I have a lot of things that I want to say, but first and foremost among them is this: your pain is valid. It doesn't matter if doctors claim that it "doesn't have a physical cause" because the only thing that matters is that you are in pain. I believe you. I believe that you are in pain, and that it is making your life extremely difficult. You should not need to try harder to deserve to not be in pain. Let's talk about what you can do.

I think you need to fire your doctors.

Would you keep taking your car to a mechanic who told you that the rattling noise your car keeps making isn't a big deal because they can't find the cause? You've tried fuel additives and having the oil changed, but this mechanic keeps recommending the same things that didn't help.

No, you would go out there and find a mechanic who would be willing to run a series of diagnostic tests, who will listen to your input about the car you know pretty well because you drive it every single day. A mechanic who is willing to think outside the box in terms of problems and solutions.

You deserve the same sort of medical care. Unfortunately, doctors/mechanic like this can be few and far between, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. The single best thing you can do for yourself right now is find someone who will provide you with compassionate and comprehensive care.

The one piece of advice that comes to my mind might not apply, outside of the US, but I'll share it anyway. The next time one of these doctors tells you that you need to do xyz to feel better, request some diagnostic tests for your symptoms. Do some research be able to request specific tests. If they refuse, ask them to note your request and their refusal in your medical chart. Do not leave the office until you have a hard copy of this chart to take with you. Often, when it becomes clear that you won't back down, they will give in and order the tests. If not, you now have the paperwork you need to file a complaint and begin the process of getting a new doctor.

I wish that I could write you a step by step guide for how to go about this, but I can't. Find yourself a family member or close friend who can help you advocate for yourself at doctors visits. Trust your bullshit meter, and if you feel like a medical professional isn't listening to you, walk out. Do some research about your symptoms and conditions that you might have, including tests and treatments. Find online communities of people with similar ailments. Do not give up hope.

Reading this message brought me to tears because I can hear the heartbreak and desperation in your tone. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. Your pain should not be minimized by the people who are supposed to help you. I hope that you are able to find some peace and solutions. My heart goes out to you.

-Reid

As always, anyone who has something they want to add is welcome to chime in.

#he speaks #he answers #disability advice #disability #chronic pain

[horizon-verizon]

I reread the whole dance of dragon sequence from the books and god the show writing makes me so fucking angry [again]!!! like uff in many parts it feels like the show writers wrote the blacks as an accessory for the development of greens throwing blacks so down in the imagine of public. and so i hate when show fans speak [mainly greens] as if all knowing when they cannot discern the hypocrisy and the flaws in writing of the show. show!alicent's moments make me so angry.

recently i saw someone on twitter say that blacks hold the books in higher regards so they went to read them only to get a 'history book' with only accounts from many forming their opinion on how the books are just books and not a good story. the replies were full of how GRRM was so bad at writing them as if they have half the wits if they cant comprehend the text, the accounts of who were the main people telling the story to get to form opinions closer to "truth". its not that hard, simple reading comprehension can tell you what we can take as almost truth. they think HOTD was meant to be the medium to show the truth T_T

with Daemon and Laena, i feel so that he truly did love her. I hate it when they just toss aside Laena. he fought for her hand. they had two children together both who he loved so dearly. even Laena's friendship with Rhaenyra is erased in the show [i feel like they just didnt want to show that Rhaenyra was capable to hold good relationships at all] coming back to Daemon:

Her grueling labor had drained all of Lady Laena’s strength, and grief weakened her still further, making her helpless before the onset of childbed fever. As her condition steadily worsened, despite the best efforts of Driftmark’s young maester, Prince Daemon flew to Dragonstone and brought back Princess Rhaenyra’s own maester, an older and more experienced man renowned for his skills as a healer. Sadly, Maester Gerardys came too late. After three days of delirium, Lady Laena passed from this mortal coil.

even if he lost his boy, Daemon doing this for Laena is just love. I love Laena with Daemon as i love Rhaenyra with him too. Its just plain sad such a good character was put aside in the show. and then after Laena, Baela and Rhaena are given to little regard in the show. [that baela-rhaenys clip which is going about. god they had to show Aegon getting off didnt they]

also with Rhea Royce's death... there is no way Daemon killed her. He was in stepstones when she died. its such a dumb thing in the show to. or okay in the books there is no way he could have gone on dragon to vale and back without anyone noticing a fucking dragon in the skies. people are so dumb.

i dont think Daemon or Rhaenyra or any other killed Laenor, other than Ser Qarl. I dont see how people see Rhaenyra ask for someone to do it.

Like in the books so and they are biased in my opinion, Rhaenyra is not shown to have good relationships much, and which are shown are rumoured with lovers and scandals like wtf. They all mean to undermine blacks so much.

sometimes i think what if Jace and Luke were trueborn and sometimes i feel strongly as if they are. i dont care if they are bastards or not, but sometimes i think. do you have any posts mainly on this?

this was written in mess of emotions, i may be wrong in come accounts and so i'll be happy to see what you think. Ive been in the book fandom for only few months, I love your posts. hope you are having a nice day <3

As for the Daemon killing Laenor, I changed my mind a little.

I think that if he were alone, he would have had him killed after Laena already died--was willing to.

So rather than it being a morality thing, it is a convenience matter that makes me consider how Daemon may or may not have killed Laenor. Including how he might have hidden his own movements and preparations to have this guy killed, which, yes, could just be him meeting with Qarl Correy in secret as he did in the show. But again, it depends on how dumb Corlys and Rhaenys are, or how willing they are to suspect Daemon and believe it.

He'd still have convinced Rhaenys very well that he had nothing to do with it, which I can't imagine was easy or worth it for him. Both Rhaenys and Corlys still have to support Rhaenyra after all, if the goal was to get closer to Rhaenyra and gather support/be support for her, as is the argument for the pro-Daemon killed Laenor thing.

As for how the show writers and Condal wrote the blacks to have less and the greens to have "more" by stealing their traits, ozymalek writes the best (and my own final agreement as to how this came about) HERE. Excerpt:

The Dance era in "Fire and Blood" is something that will fundamentally cause the feelings of cognitive dissonance. I think this is why people initially disliked this book when it first came out. It did not provide easy answers, it was written as a historical account, the in-universe historians were clearly biased. People, however, had trouble realizing who the historians are biased for and against.

Team Green would have you think that "F&B" is biased against the Greens, because their allegiance as maesters clearly being to Hightowers notwithstanding, they could not evade simple historical facts: that most of the kingdom supported Rhaenyra, that Greens were horrendously misogynistic and that her usurpation was clearly wrong. That's why, approaching it from the "choose your favorite war criminal" point of view, it was difficult for Greens to accept that their preferred side is so cartoonishly evil - obviously bias must have been involved, even though the only pro-Black narrator of F&B is Mushroom, the rest are Greens. The maester's anti-Targaryen bias, however, manages to sneak in and mess with the reader's balance, causing said cognitive dissonance.

It's hard to deal with it as a reader, let alone as a showrunner who's trying to adapt a story in which not everything is set in stone. They incorrectly assumed that, because they are constantly forced to question what is happening in the story, the bias is with the underlying idea that there was a correct side. As such, they assumed that all the inconsistencies result from maesters not choosing to view it that way. Ryan Condal repeatedly stated that he does not want watchers to pick sides, while George RR Martin embraces it and even encourages it (and I think that he himself has picked the Blacks). Such is our nature as human beings.

So they decided that they have to balance the scales. Because Greens are poorly developed, they added more characterization for them that contradicts their book personas (abused child bride meow meow Alicent who is clueless about the plans that in the books she herself set in motion, for example) while simultaneously taking the characterization AWAY from team Black members.

I still think that the writers are also more inclined to write Rhaenyra misogynistically for a male audience through the male gaze (xenonwitch's POST and ozymalek's POST and my own POST/its reblog by monoijikayu).

#asoiaf asks to me #daemon targaryen #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #laenor velaryon #laenor's death #hotd writing #hotd comment #house of the dragon #hotd #hotd critical

[glennis-hate-blog]

If not Dennis though then who?

if you're asking something other than who would i hate if not dennis, sorry for answering wrong (though the amount that i wrote should qualify my answer as wrong no matter what). i did three reading comprehension tasks total throughout my entire education, and received feedback on none of them. i went completely off the rails so skip to blue, bold text if you just want the real answer

THE ANSWER:

-must of course be contextualised with the fact that when it comes to dennis, i am untethered and my rage knows no bounds. no amount of hate for any other person would substantiate. the runner-up for my-most-hated would compare to dennis as athlete's foot compares to gangrene. having established this, we can move on to establishing why i am dragging my answer out so much. it is because i crave human contact, yet i seem to dislike anyone close to me. the internet provides me with scraps of impersonal human contact that leave me oblivious to the real person, the human behind that interaction. this allows me to feel comfortable enjoying an interaction without convincing myself that i hate the other person. how can i hate someone i do not know? excellent setup! i feast like a starving lion. i suppose that with this in mind, i might claim that if not dennis, i could hate myself the most. but im assuming that we're talking sunny characters here.

it's hard to understand how i feel about the other characters, because i hold my affections about them while aware that they are obviously horrible people.

my mind jumped to dee first, seeing as she shares a lot of the same qualities that make me hate dennis. the most glaring example being that they are rapists. seeing a pattern of this trait in TWINS makes me a little sad though. it shows that what caused this probably had something to do with their parents. the fact that dennis is worse than dee can probably be attributed to his getting raped by the school librarian or whatever it was, as well as how differently their parents treated him on account of his being male. i think some patriarchally motivated power issues stem from that treatment, you can see how he acts out around women in this way (as if i have to explain). anyway dee would make sense as a solid contender. by default ill add her parents to the ring since im blaming them for making her the way that she is.

... im not a huge cricket fan. sure he has his funny moments which i adore, but that is much the same as the reynolds twins. i didnt love him before his decline/the development of his drug addiction, weakness and catholicism repulse me. (HALF JOKE. SORRY. sorry.) i say that he is weak due to his susceptibility to manipulation (a trait he shares with dennis- a man who was tricked into digging up his dead mother 'for gold')- by dee. she wasnt even in her milf era at the time and he left the whole church without even seeing a ring... ok :|. girlie travelled to a bar full of people who bullied and sexually assaulted him to check out a water stain :/ PLEASE. anyway then there's the drug abuse which was actually fairly slay i dont take issue with that. he got better and more acceptable after that in my mind.

third and final person ill seriously consider will be gail the fucking snail. ive seen gail apologists... no... shes not even that bad it's just that shes a caricature of REAL PEOPLE i have to deal with, i totally sympathise with the twins over hating and salting her. idc if she just wants to hang out. she should learn what fuck off means and start trying to find herself, rather than continually finding other people to latch onto obsessively and dissolving into a radioactive puddle of self-pity and non-committal, performative 'shame' every time she is rejected before restarting her circuit of the same 3 people she harasses. oh my god i dont think im talking about snail anymore. whatever. it's what she represents IT DOESNT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE OK THIS IS ABOUT THE PEEPEEPOOPOO SHOW.

scrolling back through all ive written over a simple six-word question, i can see that it is my fucking bedtime. i will be concluding now. ok so i think it's fair to eliminate cricket here, since she redeemed herself by learning parkour and being funny. while i hate gail and everything she represents, she isnt a rapist. she just needs to stop asking for my address and suggesting we have sleepovers and asking whether im a top or a bottom. fucking snail. that would make Dee Reynolds my second-most-hated sunny character! i couldnt hate her with the same fiery rage that i hate dennis, but if there were no dennis, there may very well have existed a dee hate blog.

yip-fucking-ee im so sorry to anyone who thought it was worth investing the time to read any of that, especially the second two body paragraphs. im going to bed now have a fantastic day

#this could have been a one-word answer #i promise im not psychotic #sorry its late and im socially inept #plus i didnt speak to anyone today #recieving this answer must have felt like trying to give a stray dog a biscuit only for it to literally swallow you whole #but this is a sideblog so i can be myself no matter how ugly desperation is <3333 #oh no i think there are me and dennis parallels #dennis reynolds #iasip

[spikeinthepunch]

Penrose: Dawning- the dev blog

Okay well my game has been up for a few days now, and the Jam is over so yeah, why not give a massive blog about it and the development and characters and feelings etc.

again this was quite a feat for me, so to say. as small as the game is. ive been struggling a ton for years and years, so the process and experience has stuck with me for the last month.

The personal

If you have followed and read some of my posts from the last month youd probably seen me talking about having seen a neurophysiologist-- my appointments for that were happening for quite a while before this month but this month was the end of it. Aside from it clearly being a huge stressor in general, it was also a huge eye opener to my problems. Which yeah, include my ability to Make Things. Not art- but everything else. The listening & reading comprehension, math and memory I tested on being really really bad. And it was great to understand that now! but having decided to take on the Jam was a lot and well, even though on one hand i felt good that I knew my issues.... it didn't mean i solved my issues. Now i was just way more away of them.

So, I tried my hardest I think because I knew I'd always give up on this stuff. And well, my mood meds were still kinda helping. I think there was a different kind of determination despite the upset that some of those tests caused me. Still, I faced a lot of anxiety, frusteration, and upsetting feelings in the process because of how hard it was for me to learn even the smallest things. I won't go super hard on that-- I just want to appreciate the small community of Narrat for being able to help and clarify my confusion even if I'd often say to myself "ugh, that was such a simple thing! i shouldnt need to get it clarified two times over!" etc etc.

still despite the variety of emotions i faced i came out of this really thinking 'wow i actually made something' because literally all these years i have never realized a larger project due to my issues. so for that i can be happy.

The development

the process of making this game was interesting because obvious i had never put my assumptions about the best way to develop to the test. i could think all the while "ill do this first, this second etc" but until you start making it you may realize you gotta do something else!

the fact this was only a month long didnt really give me much time to figure out better ways to develop, it i was already a ways into it. so i came out realizing what i could do diffferent. one thing for sure is i know i couldnt start with art. its just not possible in general to predict the art i would need clearly, because even if i were to write a lot, i felt that making dialog branches was much easier while i was coding because i never knew how far i would want them to go.

but also, in terms of writing- i already write a lot and i kinda have my mental process. getting that to work with the game was tough, and while i liked how i wrote for this game, i feel like it faltered in the sense that writing so many bits of it entirely away from each other had my struggling to make sure i felt connected. like, writing on one huge document allows me to easily refer back and having it all together makes it flow well in my head. but having them scattered around code was hard for me to track and i was never sure if it all felt like it connected up well. i also think in general if i wrote most of the important chunks- stuff not incredibly reliant on branches/choices- that i probably would have written waaaay more too. its just a format of writing that is natural.

there isnt too much as i did in the game coding wise so i dont have too many comments on development process. but i know i would like to make games in narrat that use the typical features found in games like DE (as the engine was inspired by), like stats/skills and maybe inventory depending on the thing.

The story & design

i dont plan to explain the story in detail here (a lot of secret context it on my discord) and i have talked loads about trying to write the themes its tackled.

the main thing about it is just that i have never properly realized Penrose and well. I was facing a creative block this last month which caused more struggles. But it was harder with art- mostly design. coming up with a design is harder in a block than reading a thing that says "draw a series of houses". thinking up something new is not easy. and my head also gets very stuck up in "if you design this and draw it, you can never change it".

Eden was pulled from my old unused RP character, Eden Creature, and so i was able to base her off something already. even so making anything at all was hard- even for Mick who already existed. I really didnt want her and Eden to revert back into my old style because its just no me anymore but at the same time i do want to get something unique for this story. Dawning does not reflect what I want exactly. I like what i managed to do esp in working with my time constraints. but, its not something i want to keep doing going forward.

the story was WAY more condensed than i thought it would be and its because i didnt really realize how quickly approaching the deadline was compared to my work. but at the same time i am glad it was? i was quite ambitious with how big i wanted this "proof of concept" to be, to where i definitely probably would have gotten farther in the plot and realized i had no clue exactly what I wanted.

because i do have a general idea of this story but not like. enough. and so shortening the story hugely for this demo was actually a good thing because i would have had to write a lot more and also probably wouldnt have been able to explain lore well enough because of how little i understood my own world. and when youre creative blocked its incredibly hard trying to development of that world too.

conclusion

i mentioned it breifly in a blog post but tbh the most scary part is having it hit that i am nervous has to how people will take my characters. not in a criticism kinda way but just the idea that people just wont really 'get' them. and even just the idea that my OCs have been "presented to the world" in some sense. i do stuff in my own little space all the time and never think about what it would really be like to put a game on itch.io or even like publish a proper animation on youtube or publish a book or something. its different and its weird because i have always thought to myself that i want people to see my OCs! but then i put it up in a place where it likely will be seen and I am afraid of that.

its probably for it being a first time. and also i need to learn confidence in this kind of work i was so into thinking i could never truly make because of my issues. this was still like, very very hard to do mentally etc and i feel very exhausted. but i really dont want this to be the first and last time i try and make something.

#penrose #dev blog

[butterscotch-brigade]

thinking about your post urging people to reading various genres and content and to challenge their reading skills... and i agree with you so much i definitely think it can strengthen one's reading comprehension and broaden prospective. like even if the quality isn't good or the genre isn't your thing, it can be a fun experience to read something outside of what you're used to. your post just makes me think how nice it can be to just read and gain anything, whether that's maybe knowledge or new queries, out of something new.

also i have to ask do you have any book recommendations? :)

YOU!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!! one of the many values of reading is what you GAIN from books, and how you can apply that to ur life - whether its philosophical/existential questions or entertaining moments or parts that made you emotional in some way. even if you didnt like a book, walking out of it with the feeling that youve gained/felt something new or intriguing is its own reward.

and as for recommendations.....i have to say my favorite genre is definitely murder mystery, and my favorite author is agatha christie!!! the queen of plot twists imo. her books can be offputting to some bc a lot of the time her books dont always open up with the murder itself; many chapters are dedicated to the events LEADING UP to the murder in order to provide context and drop hints. not all of her books do this, but i can see why some people might become impatient when reading some of her work. that being said, my favorite book of hers had got to be the murder of roger ackroyd, but i also love the abc murders and hercule poirot's christmas.

as far as standalone books go, one book ive been devouring recently is i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy, an autobiography about a former child actress who faced considerable abuse both in her home life and on set for some of her most famous works, most notably "icarly" and "sam and cat." its a hard read that contains descriptions of abuse, eating disorders, trauma, and child exploitation (sometimes sexual). ultimately, though, it becomes a book about healing as she describes life before and after the death of her abusive mother. mccurdy's writing style is so creative and snarky and clever, with some dark humor thrown in. not for those sensitive to the discussed themes, but definitely an engaging read.

i would also like to recommend a book that ive recommended to other people in my life before: penpal by dathan auerbach. this is a horror novel with themes of stalking, death (both humans and animals), and kidnapping. it originally started as a series of short stories online before being published as a full book. i dont want to talk too much about it bc i dont want to spoil anything, but its one of the most suspenseful and chilling stories ive ever read. highly recommend going into it blind bc it hits so much harder when u dont know whats coming.

finally, and this is a VERY different and more unconventional choice, i strongly recommend reading calvin and hobbes. it was a newspaper comic strip that ran from 1985-1995, and it was what inspired me to start drawing and writing stories in the first place. there are several books and collections containing various comics from the strip's run, and theyre all fantastic. they will make you laugh, cry, and think. i know what youre thinking: "how can a newspaper comic be so good?" but trust me, TRUST ME, its one of the most inspirational works of art i have ever come across. without calvin and hobbes i likely wouldnt be where i am today, it literally changed my life. please read calvin and hobbes i am BEGGING you.

theres a LOT of books i love but i am currently living in an apartment farther away from my hometown, where i have a bunch more on my bookshelf. so sorry if these recommendations arent extensive enough i dont have access to my actual Book Supply akskdkdkd

thank u for letting me talk abt books!!!!! have a wonderful day/night/etc and always remember to keep reading :)

#vanilla answers #SORRY that this was so long. Autism Brain oops

[eclysia]

Melia and Ren for that character thing?

YES. i got a shiny wooper seven encounters in which is great but fucking.. i want title + humongo boosts. so im going for another one. my sandwich ran out for the 1/500 odds, ugh

first up is melia

First impression

its been a looong time since ive FIRST played rejuv so inaccuracies either stem from old versions or bad memory.

i was able to tell that melia was a character that would quickly be killed off, but i didnt correctly guess the reason why. i thought it was a cheap shot to gather sympathy. i dont remember whether i was able to predict her coming back, though. hmm

Impression now

well now i really will be upset if something happens to her! genesis syndrome is no joke, considering its labeled with body failure in multiple areas. i do wonder if its her shiny powers that caused this, her stronger abilities, or something else (my theory of her being half of a person comes back to mind...)

Favorite moment

i want her to chew out the space hags more. holy shit, please. also, the rehauled doomed future was so cool for her character... that brief segment in zeight where she met little baby venam was just.. ugh. sweet. and the talk with emma and the first (?) appearance of variya was very cool. a huge favorite

Idea for a story

unsure of what to do with this beyond stating what i would enjoy seeing in canon. and thats! i really want more stormchaser stuff especially with Her. im not sure if she has had the chance to properly confront anyone after learning about project: rapture.

Unpopular opinion

beating a dead horse but i am wholly convinced that anyone who says she is a mary sue did not play the game, holy shit. reading comprehension for a lot of people who play this game is zero.

i suppose on another note.. i really liked the fairy tale field melia fight. yes, it was hard, but i definitely think that was the point. i also enjoy how it may allude to the pangoro and zorua story from the beginning, with it being a fairy tale.

Favorite relationship

she and venam, of course. i hope venam manages to recover and shake off the innate need to try and be overtly mature, because its definitely hurting their relationship a little bit. that being said, that little conversation with the trio in the third layer on the matter was so sweet.

Favorite headcanon

uh im not too familiar with many headcanons, but do you want to know a fact and a theory? in very old versions of rejuv, melia managed to throw a xen grunt who tried to grab her.. very far! i want to believe this is a manifestation of her archetype powers showing up very early. more specifically, i think she was using seismic toss!

these two moves are level 0 for arceus. i might be reading too much into it, but with what i know now, i thought it was foreshadowing.

next up is ren! jesus i type a lot

First impression

i honestly dont remember. i think i thought he was dumb because he had a froakie. i really like greninja now so that proves how long ago i first played lol

Impression now

hes still dumb but i say this in an affectionate way! also i love robots! im really gonna be sad if he ditches that body in the future lol. understandable but sobs

Favorite moment

he has a lot of good lines. but my favorite will always be the cupcake conversation

NASTASIA: Sigh… It would be easier to just redirect your captures to [PN]'s storage line, rather than linking it. But what do I get out of this? REN: How about my undying appreciation and gratitude? REN: Alright fine, you can have my salted caramel cupcake with extra sprinkles. REN: It's on the top row of the fridge, behind the eggs. NASTASIA: This is acceptable. I'll get right on it. REN: Thanks 'Stasiaaaaa.

Idea for a story

begging on my hands and knees for more of him and nastasia . even if its just a littol bit. they are so nice together...

Unpopular opinion

he is a lot more dorky than he is edgy (especially during/after v11), and i feel like a lot of the fanbase forgets that. i love the edgy art, but i want to see more dorky art too.

Favorite relationship

you already know it, its him and nastasia. most fucked up bring your kid to work day dynamic ever. but he and reina are also extremely funny together. i have comic ideas for them but zzz

Favorite headcanon

i dunno many headcanons, honestly.. uh.. how about that he dons the cape just because it looks cool? as far as i know he doesnt have the need to hide his wings, afaik they just shift into his body/dematerialize/whatever..

#thanks for the ask. but sorry. Long #Very long

[seung-scrittore]

a) it'd be 케이트씨 but that's too formal imo 누나 is perfectly fine :')

b) it'd just be 할아버지 in this instance cuz the rest of the sentence is in English hehe

and c) I get being insecure honestly cuz speaking another language is scary as it is let alone to someone who speaks it better? I still get terrified talking to my friend in Korean, my speaking ability is WAY behind my reading, writing and listening comprehension due to lack of practice rip 😭 but that's also why it's good to! my main advice to language learners is literally always to just speak no matter how many mistakes you make; I can correct you as my friend does with me but at the end of the day you don't have to speak perfectly! Her English grammar isn't always perfect either and I understand her just fine, it's the same with my Korean like being able to communicate is such a good skill :')

and yes, I have, as Hyunju describes it "the most neutral seoul accent ever" LMAO :') that's what happens when you learn through TV and stuff honestly, I think 사투리 is heavily influenced by the people around you. I can mimic 부산 시투리 decently though, it's such a funny accent I love it so much :') with TTMIK they have videos on culture or little details you'd never really have thought of and they're really helpful! they really take you from beginner on Papago to getting a handle of the rules if that makes sense :) you're doing really well though, I understood both of you in the posts and Korean is hard to become proficient in!

감사해요 누나 !! honestly, i dont mind calling you 케이트씨 if you'd prefer TT (though i apologize about forgetting the -씨 at the end there,, i actually dont know how that slipped my mind)

im definitely pretty insecure but 한국어를 사용해보겠습니다 TT ...저는 존댓말을 잘 못해요, 미안해요 누나

at this rate, ill have to break out my old notebooks... im definitely grateful for this!!! 감사합니다 누나 !!! (wait, can i still use 니다 or is that considered 반말??)

i mainly learned through family and online lessons (i swear i didnt use duolingo, dont worry) but if i were to study TV and learn like so, what would you recommend ?

#✨.|| user; svtsunshine #✨.|| inbox.🔒 #✨.|| misc.🌤 #✨.|| asks.🔓 #✨.|| mutuals.🔑

[aspen-in-da-crater]

DREAMER - does your muse have any recurring dream? if not, what was their worst nightmare?

And!

CHEATING DEATH - what does your muse think about death? are they afraid of it?

oh ummmm that first one is kind of like. hard to answer cause i actually don't sleep that much tbh,,, it isnt a thing where i just refuse to sleep or like im overworking myself i grew outta that phase but like i havent been able to sleep properly at all for as long as i can remember (ALSO YES IVE TRIED CUTTING OUT CAFFEINE IT DIDNT WORK) so i dont really dream thatttt much. but recently when ive managed to get to sleep ive had this dream where like. it reminds me of this one fairy tale (read: reading comprehension passage) i really liked when i was younger called marzia and the seven harlequins. i talk about it more here. (https://www.tumblr.com/aspens-lab-moved/740062909838884864/whats-a-book-that-features-your-favorite?source=share) but basically in the dream i take the role of marzia and eight other people (none of whom i recognize?? which is kinda weird) take the roles of her friends. but basically what happens is i turn like 13 in the dream and my pichu and i set out on this journey where basically we have to reset this timer in order to prevent the world from being destroyed by 'god.' so as we journey throughout the land over the course of 5 years we meet these people and we become friends and they join my cause. along the way my pichu also eventually evolves into a raichu. what happens is like basically each of these eight friends start to go missing one by one, until theres only me, my raichu, and one last friend left with his raichu. and the two of us keep going on our journey to reset the timer and stop god from destroying the world and when we get to wherever we're supposed to be stopping god there's an altar at the very top of this tower which is on top of a mountain. when we find god, whos like just sitting on the altar having a good time ig, we realize that our friends went missing because every time we got closer he was taking them as sacrifices to make him stronger. then he takes my raichu and our last friend as the final sacrifices and its just me and this eevee left to reset the timer and make sure god doesnt destroy the world and basically like the eevee evolves into an umbreon and we're able to reset the timer and destroy god because he didnt realize that the timer doesnt function on sheer power but its cause like love and hope and devotion are how it chooses its master so its reset but in the process the umbreon and i are killed, but we wake up to this really bright light, where we're meant to spend all of eternity together all alone because we're dead and we have to watch over the timer now in order to reset it next time and next time and next time because that way nothing changes and the timer can always be guaranteed to be reset and then i start crying in the dream and then i wake up its a weird fuckin dream and then for the second one . its kind complicated ig. im not going into detail for kind of obvious but i do have a few experiences regarding death and stuff and they definitely had an effect on me. i wouldn't say i necessarily fear death. i don't want to die but at the same time if i were to be killed i wouldn't try to fight all that hard yk? like if it happens it happens. theres not a whole lot i can do about that. im going to die anyway. all i can really do is love the people i love while i can and hope that when i say i love them they know i mean it and try to live a life that i won't regret when my time comes. and i dont really mean that in a yolo way but i moreso just wanna like. pay attention to my life and the world around me and i wanna pay attention to what i pay attention to. i dont want to die but if it happens i dont want to waste time trying to cling to life when i could be doing something better with my time

#pokeblogging #pkmn irl #rotumblr #rotomblr #aspen replies #tw death #tw nightmares

[expfcultragreen]

I accidentally stuck my tongue so far into my cheek that it turned into a rude gesture 🤷

Like where's the lie, they do think exactly that, i nailed their sentiments exactly and now someone thinks i share them? All like "im here to patrol whether you count as a lefty or not", not like "what did you mean by that" just like "my interpretation is x, here is your sentence". I really wanted this kid to message back so i could find out more about his ideas of community like approximately what kind of organizing he's done RL and, if any, whether it was with anyone over 25. Because like, something i find endlessly interesting about "the left" or qiltbag culture, is there are sharp generational divides in what makes someone feel unwelcome in these communities or "thrown under the bus," and ironically this way of bringing an issue to someone is patternisticaly how people younger than myself in any network ive been in, have alienated the people older than myself. So rather than responding glibly to this kid with some brush-off about like "this isnt it, learn to parse content more astutely or you'll be branded a narcissistic disruptor" i really wanted to get some dialogue going.

Like I'd tell myself to work on clarity but there's literally no accounting for how people read stuff/whether they choose to pay attention to the part of my blog description that says dont even bother reading this blog. So all i can do is clarify if/when someone brings something up. And no one ever likes that, because being asked to look at the other person's pov is just filed as gaslighting when the person with a (tone-policing, hello) criticism already doesnt trust you.

Intersectionally speaking its insane to read "wellness check survivor" and be like "anyway im here to hold you accountable for calling yourself a lefty--using my own standards which are very important and objective"

Like this is so fascinating, what is this kid THINKING, like what kind of egotrip is it exactly? Youthful inexperience?

Jsyk wellness check survivor is code for "i am so controversial the pigs nearly murdered me and they may try again" so like i am clearly madpridecore and hard acab/kcsw-wave, and if youre positioning yourself as the arbiter of who gets to be a lefty, you should probably know that bossing the-crazy-people-who-are-targeted-by-police-violence around and telling us what our words mean, is actually really unconsciously fashy and your whole ass is hanging out right about now

But apparently we cant have anything approaching a fruitful private exchange about it because what i said seems to have been ignored. Like, you could have just paid attention to any of the cues in my header and not wasted your time messaging me. The gender neutral fairy emoji alone screams "i am not going to respond to you in a way that you find productive 💚"

I can actually read and can actually apply intersectional leftism, being very old (accident) and experienced (i racked up life experience like it was my career, its gotta count for something), so when i got this message i was just like "oh he's autistic ...meaning, he didnt happen to understand my tone from how i worded it and he found what i said pointlessly inflammatory because he cant imagine the audience aside from himself and doesnt understand the intention of my words within that broad context of unknown audience,,,,,, i will simply explain myself to him and apologise for the upset, rather than going out of my way to point out what a stupid jackass he is" ...directly anyway 😏 it was my first instinct but then my reading comprehension kicked in and i saw clearly through the haze of my triggered emos that it just wouldnt be appropriate, considering the information ive been given about the person who triggered me. Is this funny to you yet? Its funny to me....

#thoughts

[malewifesband]

listen i know it can be hard to tell when someone is joking online when u pack context and familiarity with the format of joke theyre using but sometimes u guys will look at things like "didnt joe biden bury all them live dogs? problematic of him i think" and yall will start yelling about reading comprehension and anti-intellectualism meanwhile u do not even check if the op is joking or a troll account or even just choose to ignore it bc it truly doesnt matter. yall read a modest proposal and thought it was sincerely saying for real that irish people should eat their kids if theyre so hungry

[whatifitoldyou]

me going to the todoiida tag to see some nice fanart :D

me after realizing that the majority of posts are just straight up shitting on bakugou >:(

#no but seriously #you can like todoiida without hating bakugou #also people bashing bakudeku by saying that bakugou doesnt care about deku #like i didnt know reading comprehension was this hard #todoiida #bakugou katsuki #bnha #mha #also can we please stop putting character hate in that characters tag? #like criticism is fine and everything but straight up character bashing is just so unnecessary

[spikeinthepunch]

talking further in therapy etc about dyscalculia has been interesting- basically realizing more and more what things are hard to do because of it. people want to assume on the surface that its just "math hard" but its not-- if you have ever read a bit more about dyslexia then you would know its more than just struggling to read or spell, right?

dyscalculia is just like that but its less spoken of. numbers look like nonsense symbols i dont think of as nuimeric values, 'mistakes' in easy math like subtraction/addition/etc (or just straight up not processing/solving them), able to grasp math in concept but not able to actually apply the theory, the inability of remembering any formulas, and even poor name and face retrieval.

its interesting when i add those up to various things in my life i never recognized as one of the symptoms. and i think whats extra important is reading the symptoms as "the inability to [thing]". its not like.. oh i can do some math, i cant remember every fomula but i can do some. its like, i literally cannot at all, and this was blatantly clear when i did the testing. just passed over many things bc i couldnt solve it.

didnt mean to write the above so long but what i was going to get to-- i thought a lot about the stuff i struggled to stick with hobby wise in the past. stuff i never caught on to and always felt like it was hard to do for some reason. a lot of it relates to this overall learning disorder, because of reading and listening comprehension. but something i learned that is hard to learn because of dyscalculia is... music. at first glance you wouldnt think about it, unless you have learned a lot of music. but math to some extent is used- in general... numbers are used. thats the thing. most people would think its silly that numbers alone would make it hard to learn but it really clears up my struggle with music.

and THAT is annoying as hell. i sat around for so long wondering why i just couldnt grasp it. complained to my dad who said all kinds of things about how i could learn w/o reading music, or i could learn by ear. but even that doesnt work- i still need to apply numbers to chords and even without sheet music. i struggle to listen by ear because well, listen comp is bad. i have made music, if you have followed me for a while. i have. but oof, if you knew my process you would see how my issues reflect it. i would bring up a key, like D, and pull out a screen shot of all the chords for that key. and then i would just... put notes on the piano roll. but hell if i knew the chords, remembered them, or even work on the music without that picture. i hardly remembered the key i was using the moment i looked away and i have no clue what scale i used if i open up an old song, cant identify it. i just kinda move notes around while staring at a picture.

and yeah, it works. kind of. but the workflow is hell, and the fact is that if i wanted to learn how to do it better, this whole... math disorder, actually makes it harder. you just wouldnt think about it!! i really didnt.

today in therapy discussing those learning issues, the one thing my therapist brought up was how its not uncommon for artists to have learning disabilities or more specifically, dyscalculia actually. art has nothing to do with any of my issues. no reading, no listening, no math. i self taught myself that, and continue to self teach myself, because its the one thing i could learn without any barriers. still, my issues would reflect whenever i did try to take classes- id get annoyed and not take in information, and id just go back to doing it alone.

it sure is weird, and neat, seeing puzzle pieces come together in some way. lots of "oh, thats why!" lately. understanding it is one key though, the other is now trying to solve it completly.