#like i genuinely have some of the most amazing friends both irl and online.
Text
ofmd friends appreciation time!!
i thrive in long form media bc i like to ramble so im doing this here rather than on twt
ive met some of the nicest people ive ever come across since being in the ofmd fandom and they regularly make a point to tell me im great (silly gay people) so here is that for them all:
- eli: WELL where to begin, you are basically just the most iconic person ive ever met, youre so easy to talk to, youre always there to chat or for emotional support, feels like ive known you forever. You are so caring and attentative to everyone you interact with and im honoured to be in your inner circle so i get to speak to you everyday :)
- fia + av: i gotta group you two because i realised i have the same things to say to you both lol. i dont speak to you guys as much (i appreciate having a life outside the internet that is very good for u guys lmao) but i hear the best things about you both, and every interaction ive had with either of you is always easy, friendly and funny. i hope you both know that even if you dont hang around online as much, that we all love you just as much and appreciate hearing from you :)
- idunn: the loml, my silly little norwegian, (my scrumptious starfish) you have the best sleep schedule ive ever seen (which is bad for me bc u always go to sleep when i come online to speak to u hehe). im so glad we met, im so glad we get each other, and i hope you never stop being a goofy flirt, også, du er veldig pen og jeg liker deg hehehehehehe :))
- des: destynee, desody, desus, you liked me enough to invite me into the group and im so glad you did bc now i get to speak to all my fav people everyday so firstly thank you for that. secondly, YOU are so funny, youre so insane, it makes me so happy every time you bully me bc i can feel the affection through the screen and i hope i send that same vibe back to you because you really do bring everyone together and we all love you so much for it! you’re hilarious, and me stealing your memes is genuinely bc i adore you and want to entertain you like you do for me :)
- moony: honestly idek, everytime we speak i wonder if it was even real or some sort of weird hallucination. im so happy i know you because you will happily entertain anyones silly discourse and make every conversation so much funnier just by being there. i will be coming to visit you in spain so we can kiss x :)
- ella: my fellow brit! (it freaks me out everytime i remember how close we live i wont lie). when idunn asked if you could join the chaos and gave you a sparkling recommendation it was very accurate bc you are so nice and easy going and fit in effortlessly. its so easy to talk to you and im glad we can talk about british things without me doing it alone and getting ridiculed lmao. one day i will convince you to meet me irl so we can make one of the weird norwegian foods idunn has mentioned :)
- may: you make me laugh so much because you are so kind and easy to talk to and then you have the evil mayo side of you that is so insane and scares me a little (jokes please never retire evil mayo). never stop being you please provide me with interesting bird content forever and ever :)
- ratte: you are so entertaining, you always manage to make us all laugh, when youre online ik its going to be a good time, and youre so interesting when you talk about your interests in discord (ik i said interest twice lol) :)
- yuriy: you are one of the coolest people ive ever spoken to, you seem so laid back, youre hilarious, you motivate me to get stuff done in focus vcs lol and i love seeing you around :)
-mel: menace mel, you are so crazy and entertaining, you never cease to make me and everyone else giggle. im glad you are a part of the group and i hope to have you around in my life for a long time :)
i could go on forever about these specific goons i adore them all so much i am forever amazed at their kindness, how easy to get along with everyone is, how we can all joke without anyone ever going too far, its such a safe happy place, we all support each other so much and im so so happy it was such an inclusive progressive sexy show that bought us all together
(and everyone else im mutuals with or speak with idc if weve spoken one time i love you and smile when i see you all on my tl and being giddy in gcs, i hope i can put out the vibes that u guys provide me with bc you all deserve it)
no more sappy soup i will now return to being mysterious and cool (/lie)
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey jack im sorry if this is a really weird and random question but do you have any tips for not being so nervous meeting someone from online for the first time? I know you and Ryo meet up and I was wondering if that was awkward at first if you have any tips for it!
no worries anon not a weird question at all. i've actually been meeting up with online friends since i was like 14 so i actually do have a fair bit of practice with it and it's kind of old hat to me now
honestly im always a little nervous before meeting someone new and i think thats normal and healthy, the first time i met ryo i honestly felt like i was gonna excitement vomit like a dog lmfaoo but i think allowing urself to say "im nervous and thats okay" helps a lot
for me it's all about taking the pressure off. the pressure to be perfect or make this amazing first impression and be the coolest funniest most charming dude imaginable. but thats just not reality and it's unhelpful and unfair to put that pressure on myself. remembering that this is (hopefully) someone who ur already close friends with and who knows u and enjoys ur company for who u are, and they're just as excited and nervous, but they also know ur a human being. there isnt pressure to be perfect or super cool or amazingly witty or funny, and its also okay if ur kinda awkward and a little weird and u say or do really stupid things. if the person ur meeting is a genuine friend, they wont care about any of that and will enjoy their time with u anyway, and if they do judge u for any of that, then they're probably a dick and u dont want to be friends with them anyway so better to know now
the first night i slept at ryos i got so nervous about sleeping in his bed that i slept on the floor instead. it was a deranged decision but i made it and followed thru ajksdhjkasdklas and like yea looking at it out of context thats really stupid and awkward and embarassing, his mom asked me if i was alright LOL but now in hindsight it's just a really hilarious and silly story that we both can joke about. it's a fond memory and it didnt make him think i was weird and stupid and not wanna be my friend anymore.
to me thats really all it's about, remembering that its okay to be weird and awkward, and that they're probably also gonna be nervous and weird and awkward. ur both probably gonna do some embarrassing things and thats normal and okay. first time meeting ppl irl is always an adjustment, u need some time to get used to being around one another and learning what the others like and how to do things together. but it's all just a normal part of the process and it's okay if its a mess. that just means u'll have some funny stories to look back on and laugh about together later
#jack.speaks#anon#i hope that helps and i hope whenever u meet ur friends u guys have a great time together#just relax and let urself have fun
1 note
·
View note
Text
.
#i know i come here and complain a lot in the tags about shitty friendships or some people not giving bavk the same in return.#but i also want to say despite those few little hiccups and friendships that are sour and i am in a constant cyle of doubt bevause of them#like i genuinely have some of the most amazing friends both irl and online.#like its easy for the bad to outways the good because we as people just look for the negatives since we already tear ourselves down#but like i have been home for the past three days and one of my best friends took my to the grocery atore with her through pictures#another one sent me photos of him on a hike and at the beach#another one sent me a video of her walking with bubble tea#one sent me a chaotic voice noice that was precious in all honesty#like im surrounded by great people and it took me a long time to get here#sometimes i feel selfish when i make my litrle moody tag posts about not being appreciated or being lonely#and i wish i could alqays be content with what i have rn and i am still working kn that#but genuinely im very thankful for the frkends i have that do ho out of their way tk chevk on me send me things in hopes of making me smile#also!! another one of my friends showed me their ateez;; monsta x ;; md wonho albums#like ita the little things#idk kt just made.me really happy even as small as all those thibgs might've seemed they meamt a lot#so thank you if you are on of those people it means alot#some just chatted with me to keep me company and that's more than enough.#amd im thankful#because i know it cant be easy to stop whatever you may be doing to tlak to me or any one for that matter but you do#like im happy but also sad because you realize whos really your friend even when jt doesnt benefit them and you see who isnt#but nonetheless thank you#sorry for the long ted talk#and if you send me ask even on anon this includes you#like you dont have to do these thibgs especially to me someone you barely know but you do and thats more than i can say for a lot of people#suni.txt#ily💘
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
aroace│mcyt hc
warnings: small mentions of hate, fluff
prompt: (requested) “could I request headcanons on how each mcyt would react to reader coming out as aroace? platonic btw!”
pairings: irl platonic! dream, ranboo, and tommy ; c!technoblade
a/n: as i myself do not identify as an aroace, pls correct me on any misconceptions or things i did not portray accurately
a special thanks to new friend @youtubesthings! they’re pretty pog and gave helpful insight to specific parts
wc: (1.0k) - m.list
dream -
you’ve known dream for a while now, long before he began to attract online fame
even then, you were still hesitant to come out to him
rationally, you knew how supportive dream was for his friends, but reason doesn’t stop the fear of rejection for being yourself
he’s an affectionate guy that isn’t afraid to express his (platonic!) love for others, and while you’re not romantically involved with him, it’s still terrifying to think that he might push you away for how you perceive relationships
whether you identified as an aroace for some time or only recently discovered the fact for yourself, you felt trapped and needed to tell someone
would approach him one evening and be closed off the entire conversation
he obviously would take note to your strange behavior and softly confront you about it
“Y/n, you okay? You seem on edge.”
“Actually, I-I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”
moment you managed get get the words out, there’s a slight pause before he speaks
“Oh. Is that all?”
he’d pause and realize the implications to how his words sound and begin panicking
“No, wait that’s not what I meant. Y/n, that’s honestly so amazing, I’m so glad you trust me.”
if you were still wary to telling others, dream is the most trustworthy of your secret until you’re ready (he’s able to disclose only the things he wants people to know very well considering he’s faceless)
but if you decided to fully come out, you can bet he’s the loudest and most supportive person you know
will not hesitant to defend you from any haters or trolls and tries speak out for all aroaces
admits he’s not the most knowledgeable but tries (will search things up in his own time)
genuinely takes your coming out seriously but treats you the same like the person you’ve always been
c!technoblade -
let’s be honest here, technoblade isn’t canonically shown to have any romantic advances towards anyone in the smp
as a close ally and friend, you trusted techno easily and didn’t think much about coming out to him
“Hey Techno.”
“What?”
“I’m Aroace.”
“‘kay cool.”
this isn’t to say he doesn’t care, but he doesn’t see a point in fawning over the fact when it’s just you coming out as yourself
he’s closed off to some degree about how he normally feels on certain things, but your trust in him makes him feel more welcome to sharing his own thoughts and feelings
will honestly become confused should a person mock or be unaccepting of the fact, and instinctively will unsheathed his weapon
“Why are you laughing?”
*pulls out Orphan Obliterator*
“No seriously, why?”
that being said, he honestly just forgets about it from time to time
he can keep secrets, no doubt, but considering how normalized he finds it, he isn’t really strict about talking about it if the situation comes up
if someone were to somehow imply you both were romantically involved, Techno would be so casual about it
“Aren’t you two together to something?”
“What? No, y/n’s Aroace, that’s weird.”
“…what?” :D
i mean you should’ve expected this when you first told him-
he’s the almighty Blood God, a fearless warrior that strikes down all his opponents mercilessly, and truth be told, someone who respects his friends greatly
ranboo -
ranboo is unmistakably someone you thought of first when contemplating coming out
from his donation stream to his constant efforts of normalizing LGBTQ rights, ranboo has always been considerate of the fact
so one day you decided to tell him after a stream
it was late and he was honestly tired, but you wanted to get it out of the way before you lost the confidence go through with it again
“Hey Ranboo?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m Aroace.”
“…”
“Ranboo?”
“Sorry what? I didn’t hear you.”
he had yawned in the middle of you talking and didn’t hear you come out
honestly it was really funny to look back on, but he’d probably feel awful every time you reminded him
once you repeated yourself though, he was quick to celebrate and congratulate you
ranboo isn’t one to go into many heavy conversations, but if he noticed any hate or criticism once you fully came out, he will stop his stream just to emphasize how any hate is not tolerated on his channel, especially regarding his friends
if ever need be, he will (with your permission) speak on your behalf if someone didn’t understand what being aroace meant
he knows how to lightly joke around the topic and chooses to do so as a way to show he accepts you for how you are
that being said, doesn’t mention it often since he knows doing so can be demoralizing like a label
overall, never fails to express his support and (platonic!) love, and sees you beyond your coming out as his friend that he respects and appreciates
tommy -
alright, okay
this is tommy we’re talking about here, a known advocate for LGBTQ rights; though he can say some mixed up intentions, his devotion to enforcing those rights on his channel and throughout his daily streams has always been endearing, but much like dream, the idea of telling someone so emotionally driven was nerve-racking
it’s not like you didn’t plan on telling him, but he probably would have found out by accident
you had been in a discord call with him late at night and it slipped out naturally
“Have you noticed you’ve been shipped recently with (someone someone) lately?”
“I have, yeah. I hate it.”
“… why?”
“Oh it’s nothing against them, I’m Aroace.”
“Wait really?”
“…”
“...”
“Oh fuc-”
after you explained to him how you trusted him but honestly didn’t mean to tell him, he’d respect you for what it was and leave it be
tommy is sincerely mature when he needs to be, and won’t bring the subject up until you wanted to talk about it with him (since he wasn’t originally meant to know)
once you were ready though, he would go full protection mode
online, he’d make his support loud and clear, and while he’ll make mistakes from time to time, he has good intentions to heart
privately, he always tries to be subtle in his understanding if the topic or situation called for it
he’s proud of his friends (that’s a given), and will never hesitate to make it known that you are someone he admires for being themself
#dream smp x reader#dream smp x you#dream x reader#dream x you#dreamwastaken x reader#dreamwastaken x you#technoblade x reader#technoblade x you#tommyinnit x reader#tommyinnit x you#ranboo x reader#ranboo x you#mcyt x you#mcyt x reader#mcyt headcanons#dreamwastaken headcanon#technoblade headcanon#tommyinnit headcanon#ranboo headcanon
380 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Princess Daisy : pencils_and_pincushions // photo: that_fedora_photographer
I’m a Canadian cosplayer who has been cosplaying since 2007. I’ve had a love for Victorian fashion since I very young age (my little kid brain basically made the connection that Victorian dresses = women dressing like Disney princesses IRL), but the thing that kickstarted my desire to learn sewing was going to a fabric store with my mother when I was in my senior year of high school and seeing a Butterick pattern catalogue that had Victorian-inspired costumes. Almost instantly I had a lightbulb moment that if I learned to sew, I could actually wear those big fancy gowns I loved.
I entered university and, over the next few years, spent my free time reading and learning everything I could about sewing. In 2007, my best friend invited me to Anime North - she was going as a gothic lolita-inspired version of the Queen of Hearts, so I decided I would make a Mad Hatter to accompany her.
I was so excited that I jumped in completely head-first, and it ended up being my first foray into both sewing and pattern drafting. In hindsight it was wildly ambitious for a first project (and I’m still a little surprised that I actually pulled it off!), but I’m so glad that my enthusiasm made me persevere and psh through the challenges, because I learned a ton from that experience and ended up with a cosplay I was thrilled with.
I remember seeing myself in the mirror the first time and being so happy when I realized I’d been able to bring something to life from my imagination. When my friend and I got to the con, things only got better from there - the atmosphere was so energetic and colourful thanks to all the amazing cosplays, and it was filled with so many fun, enthusiastic, and friendly people. From that day I was officially hooked on cosplay.
I’m part of the Toronto Steampunk Society and, each year at Fan Expo Canada, we hold an Annual Costume Challenge where we pick a theme and encourage people to make a costume based on the theme. A couple of years ago, the theme was ‘steampunk video game characters’ and one of my friends in the TSS, Modern Myths Cosplay, thought it would be cute to do Princess Peach and Princess Daisy.
I loved the idea and, after more discussion, we decided to do a steampunk twist on the Super Smash Bros Brawl version since it was fancier and seemed to lend itself well to a steampunk interpretation. Though Daisy isn’t officially in Brawl, my friend was fortunately able to dig up some fan edits of Peach in Daisy’s colours, so with that we were set.
I usually make my outfits myself, but since my friend and I wanted to ensure our cosplays matched, we decided to work collaboratively and divide things: I would create the bodices and accessories for both gowns, and she would create the skirts and crinolines.
I started off by drafting the base bodice patterns. Since I draft all my costumes, I used my existing bodice block/master patterns for myself and drafted a bodice block from scratch for my friend based on her measurements. One neat thing about working this way was that it basically turned into a girls’ weekend where I was able to teach my friend more about pattern drafting, which ended up making the process unexpectedly fun and memorable.
After I finished fitting my friend’s bodice block, I got to work drafting our bodice patterns based on the reference pics we had collected. Being able to tackle both bodices ended up working well since it enabled me to draft them in a way that made them visually match identical while taking our respective body shapes into account.
A couple of mockups and fittings later, we had an idea of how much fabric we needed, so we went fabric shopping. My friend suggested that we go with richer, more regal-looking tones instead of strictly game-accurate colours, so when we found a place selling gorgeous peau de soie and sparkle organza, I was instantly sold on a gold and burnt orange colour scheme.
We split the fabric based on our respective portions and worked on them separately. I cut and sewed the bodices, which was fairly straight forward but time-consuming! The part that sticks in my mind the most was the center front panel because it had so many pieces and layers - two types of satin, two types of organza (including one that had to be ruched to the base panel in multiple places), five rows of lace, interfacing...and that doesn’t even include the lining!
I also created our jewelry and crowns. The brooches and earrings were made from filigree settings that I painted, glued gems, and attached pin backs and earring hooks to, and the crowns are made from craft foam painted in gold acrylic, with embellishments assembled from painted filigree stampings and gems.
My friend created our cage skirts from 1/4 PEX pipe and brown grosgrain ribbon, which ended up being the perfect hoop skirt material since it was cheap, lightweight, and strong enough to support the huge, heavy skirts. She cut and sewed our skirts (including attaching meters and meters of trim that I’d painted white to better match the game colours) and she also made our bloomers.
The gowns were a huge undertaking and, thanks to work and general real life eating up time, we did end up engaging in the dreaded con crunch, but fortunately in the end we were able to get them to a state where they were pretty and wearable!
The response at the convention was absolutely amazing - I don’t think I’ve ever had a costume elicit the reactions that Princess Daisy did. We figured that, since we were cosplaying the princesses from Mario, there was a good chance we might be recognized, but the thing I wasn’t prepared for was how genuinely happy and excited people were, especially when they saw us together. We literally had kids waving at us from across the street when they spotted us.
Even grown-ups loved it - we were frequently stopped for pictures, and even a couple of the folks in the dealer’s room who were running booths would break into huge smiles and ask for pictures. Plus, people loved the steampunk twist and were delighted when they realized how much our costumes matched.
The best, most heartwarming response to my Princess Daisy cosplay happened when I met up with some other friends and one tapped me on the shoulder, pointed behind me and said, “I think she wants a picture with the princess.” I turned around and, standing a few feet away, was this adorable, super shy little black girl who was staring in my direction. My heart instantly melted and I went over to her and had a little chat and took a picture with her.
As a black cosplayer who has run several panels on BIPOC cosplay and spoken about the importance of diversity and representation in cosplay, being able to show that sweet little girl that someone who looks like her can be a princess - and showing kids of other races that Princess Daisy can be black - was a vivid reminder that representation does matter.
Since I got into the hobby, cosplay has been a big part of my life and has positively impacted me in so many ways. It has been an incredible creative outlet that has given me the chance to express myself, and it has allowed me to meet so many wonderful people - many of whom are now among my closest friends. However, I think one of the most rewarding things about cosplay has been how it has allowed me to provide BIPOC cosplay representation and visibility within my local cosplay community. I often do Afro-steampunk cosplay, and one of the most unexpectedly moving things I’ve experienced has been other BIPOC saying to me that seeing my outfits make them feel like they can cosplay.
It has been humbling and has motivated me to get more involved in the cons I attend. For the past several years I’ve run panels on diversity in cosplay/steampunk as well as sewing and cosplay construction, which has enabled me to share the knowledge and skills I’ve learned. I also lead the steampunk section of the Anime North Fashion Show, and I’ve made a point to recruit as diverse a roster of models as possible. I’m happy that we’ve been able to showcase steampunk looks inspired by various cultures including Chinese, Indian, and Morrocan.
Another plus is that the sewing skills I’ve learned from cosplay have come in handy in other areas of my life. It has been fun - and surprisingly empowering - to be at a point where I can use my sewing ability to create one-of-a-kind outfits for formal work events (like office holiday parties) that make me feel pretty and confident.
Something I’ve frequently mentioned during my BIPOC cosplay/steampunk panels is that the simple act of showing up to a con or event in cosplay can have an impact because you never know how much that visibility can inspire other BIPOC to get into the hobby, so my advice to anyone wanting to get into cosplay is to do it! Overall I have found it to be a fun, creative, energizing experience.
While I’ve been extremely fortunate to have had overwhelmingly positive experiences while cosplaying, I recognize that, unfortunately, BIPOC do sometimes face harassment and outright racist comments (especially online) that can make getting into the hobby seem scary. Finding welcoming, supportive spaces in person and online can be a big help (the POC Cosplay group on Facebook is great for this) - plus, thanks to things like #28DaysOfBlackCosplay, there is more visibility and inspiration out there than ever before.
The other thing I’d add is to treat each cosplay as a learning experience. Being able to work so closely with my friend on creating a cosplay was a completely different creation process than I’m used to, and it was really cool to be able to learn from each other’s different working styles and experience. It was great to teach her pattern drafting and see how happy she was to learn skills she could apply to future cosplays, and I was so excited when she showed me her PEX pipe hoop skirt method. Looking back on my Princess Daisy cosplay makes me smile because it’s almost like a physical representation of the fun we have cosplaying together.
#princess daisy#princess daisy cosplay#cosplay#black cosplay#black cosplayer#poc cosplay#poc cosplayer#cosplay interview#steampunk
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.
(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)
I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)
Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.
Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!
I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.
On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!
They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.
I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.
Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.
I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.
Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.
After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.
Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.
I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.
Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.
The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.
I'm SO excited to get started!!
I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!
Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.
Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.
Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.
Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!
I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.
We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.
I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.
Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.
It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."
sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/
(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)
I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.
I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!
Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.
I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.
The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok, so I’m going to just take a moment to introduce my main F/O and explain why I love him so much. This will be a long post so be ready.
This is Gantlos
He is from an Italian cartoon called Winx Club, which got English dubbed and eventually aired on Nickelodeon later on. The cartoon is about a group of six girls that call themselves the Winx and are fairies. They have magical transformations, gain new forms and powers every season and fight seasonal villains. Gantlos is one of those villains. From the fourth season. He is part of the group called the Wizards of the Black Circle. The other three members are Ogron (the leader) Anagan and Duman. (I really like the other three as well, I have them as platonic F/Os). They are 4 ancient wizards from Earth that went to war with the Earth fairies. They imprisoned all the fairies a long time ago, bu there is still one fairy left that they haven’t gotten yet. The goal of the season is for the Winx to stop them from capturing her, free the imprisoned Earth Fairies, and fully stop their plans.
Anyways now that I’ve explained the background let me explain why I love him so much.
1. He’s pretty as heck. Yeah, yeah I know it’s a bit superficial and basic but it is one of the things I love about him. His entire outfit is amazing. I love the gothic style. I also love his hat. He has long black boots, and I have a really big weakness for long black boots for some reason. His hair is also pretty and also looks super fluffy. I also have a thing for CARTOON/DRAWN (Keywords: Cartoon/drawn. I don’t have a thing for this with real people) older men. I love all of those things on their own and combines is just PERFECTION. (Also there is a brief flash back reel in one of the episodes where he and the other wizards are seen in medieval style armor. He’s only wearing it for 2 images, but he looks AMAZING in it)
Current outfit
Medieval
2. He’s a cool villain. I have a weakness for villains. Always have and always will. Especially when they’re done good and also if they have some redeemable qualities (which this guy has a pretty good one which I’ll get into later). He’s also a powerful villain, being able to fight so many powerful fairies.
3. His powers are cool. Another mild point but nonetheless felt I should point it out. He has basic dark magic powers. But his main power is the use of seismic/sound waves that come out of his hands and feet. He can shoot sound waves from his hands by clapping which causes tons of destruction to the area around it. He can also cause seismic waves by stomping on/punching the ground and causing a mini earthquake. I just find these powers very neat. He also seems to have telepathic abilities, but it’s only touched on like three times? He used these powers to track one of the main characters when she was running from them, used them to make sure the same character was alone at a different point, and sent a mental distress signal to his friends. These powers aren’t touched on that much but I still find them neat.
4. Remember that redeeming quality I mentioned? Here’s where it comes into play. Despite doing horrible things, he is shown on several occasions to genuinely care about his friends. This is actually a theme with all of them, they all seem to care about each other. But Gantlos has the most examples in universe. He’s the one always coming in to save the others, and seen caring for them. He’s like team dad. He saved Anagan from falling, when they were running for their lives, which cost him time but he took the time to save his friend anyways. He also showed care for him when he warned him to be careful. Duman got severely ill at one point, but Gantlos carried him around almost the entire time he was sick, and also showed genuine emotion and concern when he was in pain. He also saved Ogron’s life. When Ogron was pushed onto the train tracks just as an oncoming train was approaching Gantlos JUMPED IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN to save him. It was also made abundantly clear that this was not easy on him and put him through great stress, but he did it anyways to help save his friend, then he helped carry him after that.
Saving Ogron
5. Then there’s his personality. And I see heavy compatibility of me and him. Of course he is shown to be cruel, as he is a villain. He is seen as the trigger happy, angry one of the group that has a temper. He also gets villainously smug, when something is going him and the groups way, or if he’s having fun fighting. I always love seeing his smug faces. But, as we see him be kind and protective of his friends we see him with a softer side. His personality gives me the vibe of someone that is cruel and easy to anger to the world around him, but to those he’s close too he’s really soft, caring and protective. He also gives me mega tsundere vibes. I feel like even though he’s cruel, if you and him get along you could actually get close to him and he could start to genuinely care for you. I find this very similar to myself, although more extreme. I don’t become close to people easily, it takes a lot for me to get close to and start to care for someone, I don’t have too many people in my life that I find I care about. I only have a few people IRL and I do have a few people online (looking at my discord folks). But those I care about I care about really strongly. I feel like we both have a tough outer shell, and we both hide our emotions because we’re afraid to show them and be honest, very few people can get through our shell, but those that do mean a lot to us, so I feel connected to him in that way. He also gives me major introvert vibes but I don’t exactly know why? Maybe it’s because he’s shown to be less extrovert like then his friends? But he gives me the vibe of someone who doesn’t really like to go out too much and also isn’t good at socializing and communicating (IDK why TBH there isn’t a lot of evidence for this in canon, but we don’t know too much about him so I can headcanon what I want according to vibes he gives me) which I can relate with. I also am an introvert that doesn’t like to go out and am also bad at and hate socializing and communicating, unless it’s someone I know and like. I can imagine us staying home and relaxing together while all our friends go out and do things. I also hate confrontation, or rather confronting someone myself. Meanwhile Gantlos is very confrontational. So if we ran into an issue with someone he could do the confrontation stuff, and probably be very fine with it. He also just seems like the protective type, which I love.
6. I don’t really know if this counts as a reason to love him, but just something neat. He’s a character that gives a lot of room for headcanons, since we don’t know much about his past. We know the ‘what’ he does and ‘how’ he does it. But we don’t know ‘why’ he does it. The best thing we’re given is generic “get more power, take over the world” stuff. We know that him and his friends attacked and imprisoned the Earth fairies, but not much about it. We’re basically told that one day him and his friends just showed up out of the blue and started wreaking havoc and that’s it. Nothing about his backstory and why he does this. Which leaves plenty of room for theories and headcanons.
7. This one scene in episode 7 of the fourth season where in the Rai/Cinelume version of the English dub (there are multiple English dubs) he says “If you wanted to be alone with me all you had to do was ask” 👀👀👀💗💗💗
8. This moment that has always stuck with me. In episode 6 of the fourth season there is this one scene where the fourth wall is broken. They basically make fun of the whole “villains doing nothing while main characters transform” trope. The main girls start transforming but then it cuts to Ogron (who’s holding Roxy hostage) mocking them and their transformations. To which Gantlos says “I kind of like it”. This evil, grumpy man likes magical girl transformations and that’s honestly the best thing 😂😂😂
9. I remember he was always one of my favorites as I was a kid. So there’s the good old nostalgia factor.
10. This image of him laughing wholesomely 👀👀👀
Anyways this is the end of my gushing over why I love this man so much. Maybe this’ll help y’all understand my love for him. ❤️
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m Meeting Other Trans Teens
On Saturday, to pick up some jewelry for my long Furby, I invited my bestie to go to the mall with me. Well, she offered to meet up with her online friend and it’s friend while we’re there. Not only because I’m scared of coming off as rude if I rejected, but also because they’re both trans, use neopronouns, and I’ve never met an irl transgender person (who’s been out to me at least), I just had to accept. I’m really hoping we’ll be friends, I desperately need someone to relate to. My bestie is the most amazing person in the world but she can’t understand my anxiety over bathrooms, and the stress of clothes shopping, or when I wanted to cry after the Sephora cashier referred to us as “ladies”. I genuinely can’t believe I have a chance to not be alone, to have another black sheep, to have someone who understands me, to meet someone who isn’t cisgender. Possibly, I’m putting a bit too much hope on two internet strangers but I can’t help it! I don’t often meet new people this is my only chance to not be the only one in my world that knows what it’s like.
(BTW we’re being cautious with the internet people, meeting in public won’t leave each other alone with them and all that jazz.)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was tagged by @emiliachrstine and @chlobenet to tag ppl who make me happy! so i’m gonna do a bit of an appreciation post for some people i’ve been meaning to talk a bit more about since getting back into writing/ocblr :)
@emiliachrstine ok first of all emilia i love you so much!! thank you for tagging me in this. i remember meeting you first through supernatural fandom and our mutual love and respect for jo harvelle and then bonding again over our mutual love and respect for the Queen sharon carter so i’m super happy that we’ve managed to stay in touch and always bond over our underappreciated faves. i’ve always loved your writing since i first encountered it i think (like when i was in eighth grade 😭 and i would read ur spn fic on the bus home from school) so it’s crazy to me that i can consider you a friend now. thank you for sharing so much writing with the world, and for being so open and kind. it’s always a joy to talk to you about writing, see your beautiful edits, and plan crossovers between our ocs. i love you 💓💓💓
@daaeleira pixie!! i know i’ve said this like a million times before but you have been one of my longest friendships Period like irl or online or whatever like i have known you so long and i’m so happy that i have. i love you so much and i am so grateful you’ve been there for me through so much of my life and when things get crazy i’m happy i always have the opportunity to talk to you about how dumb the russos are or hear you talk about your #problematic #faves or just vent. i’m so lucky to know you!! you’re such a kind and funny person, and you’re really supportive and also genuinely one of the most talented writers i’ve ever had the privilege of reading work from (fic or not). i feel like i’ve grown so much from being friends with you in my beliefs and my general outlook on the world which is not something i expected at all when i applied to be a mod for the winsisters blog but i am so happy and grateful that it was the case. i stan all of your ocs genuinely they’re all so good and you’re like. a legend in my mind i admire you so much
@perfectlystiles we are new friends but i love how easy it is to talk to you! we get along super well and i love how we are both little bruce banner stannies and how we have such similar shipping interests lmfaooo i just really enjoy talking to you about giles and fandom and our messed up sleep schedules and how quarantine has really screwed both of us over motivation-wise. i’m really glad we vibe so well because it’s always a joy to talk to you :~)
@kenobi-jinn we are also new friends! i’ve been catching up on star wars media specifically so i can go HARD with stanning valencia when i start your obi-wan fic. i’ve started your marvel story (and i’m planning on reviewing the rest of it too i promise !) and i am a huge fan of your writing style and your ability to hold up original storylines. i admire your work so much and i’m really excited to get more into it :) you’re extremely talented! and also a very kind and easy to talk to person. i’m really glad we’ve gotten in touch!
@ocfairygodmother cass/jan!!! okay i don’t know if you even remember this at all but i remember when elle’s story was first posted and i was looking for winsister stuff to read and i fell in love with it so early on. we don’t talk too much anymore but i am so deeply admirational of how you have managed to build a real community out of ocblr. you inspired me to write on an individual level when i was a kid and the community you’ve developed has kept me writing through these years, and so i owe it to you more than anyone or anything else that i’ve kept writing and that i’m pursuing a degree in writing as well. idk if this is weird because we don’t talk too much but seriously, i owe so much of that to you. you’re so positive and you devote so much time and work to being kind and supportive to other writers, and the impact you have had on my life and the lives of other people in this community is so large and positive. thank you for being you, and for doing so much work that you didn’t need to do to help keep us together.
@chlobenet ally i don’t think we have ever been super close but i’ve followed you for a long time and i am always stunned by how talented you are both with writing and editing! your ideas for ocs are so strong and distinct that they could clearly stand on their own as original pieces of fiction, but they also fit so well into the fandoms you write them for. you’re incredibly creative and i’m grateful that you tagged me in this so i could have the chance to gush lol thank you!
@ahsokatonas joey i don’t know you super well but you are extremely talented and i admire your work so much! you are a wonderfully talented writer and also incredible at worldbuilding. not to mention amazing with edits and the like. so thank you for sharing!
@notaboutcat cat i have loved your writing and ocs since my supernatural days as well lol thank you for being such an inspiration to me ! and i’m really happy to know you and you know how big a fan i am of all of your ocs. you’re a talented writer and you’re really good at building such unique and interesting characters that are a privilege to read!
@suzieloveships thank you for being so supportive of my fic for so long! and for sending such interesting asks and leaving such kind comments on audrey’s story. i appreciate it so much and i always look forward to seeing what you have to say when i see your username in my notifications :)
then there are a lot of people i’ve been admiring from afar! so i want to say thank you to you all as well for sharing your writing or being supportive readers to others in the community. sending love to you all <3 thank you for making me so happy
@lizziesxltzmxn @foxesandmagic @ultraocfury @aliverse @randomestfandoms-ocs @randomfandoming1 @feralcherry @celticboudicca @marvel-osity @sgtbuckyybarnes
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Quarantine Time
Tagged by: @rolie-polie-yeolie thanks ✨✨
Rules: answer these questions and tag 5 mutuals
1.Flowers or chocolates? I like both but if someone gives me white chocolate that’s the end
2.Between day and night I prefer: day but not in summer
3.My favourite drink: frappe and tea
4.Between sunrise and sunset I prefer: sunset all the way
5.Between dogs and cats I prefer: dogs a million times, I love those balls of love and fluff
6.The vegetable i hate the most: is onion a vegetable?
7.My favourite sound: whenever I pet my dog she makes this sound of pleasure, almost like a purr and I absolutely adore it
8.The first thing I notice about people: their faces like I do a full scan
9.Would you prefer horror or fantasy? Horror baby
10. I’d want to be stuck in a lift with? (choose opposite gender lol): there is no way I want to get stuck in a lift with a man
11. What city or town you’d like to live in? A Nordic country, they seem to be having a good time and have amazing views
12.What I value most in life: tranquility
13.If I could learn any skill, it’d be: to play the violin or the piano
14.Between the beach and the mountains, I prefer: the beach, I don’t like how it makes my hair all curly but I love the sound of the sea
15.I’d love to get marry in: my dreams, that ain’t happening irl
16.My hidden talent: I genuinely have no idea
17.If I could bring anyone back to life, I’d bring back: my Tita
18.Why? Cause I miss her
19.Rainy or sunny day? Cloudy cause I hate to drive in the rain but I also hate the sun so
20.Who’s the real model of your life? My mom in most aspects
21.How I relax after a hard day: go home to sleep or just lay in bed listening to music or watching some yt videos
22.I like the way I look: is this a question? I guess I do, tbh I don’t have much to complain about
23.My most favourite facial features of myself is: my nose and cheekbones
24.My most favourite part of my body is: hmm my face? Idk
25.If I could change anything about my body: I need some longer legs please
26.If yes, what’s it: dude be more specific on how to answer this lol
27.If I could change something from my past: nextttttt
28.How many piercing I have: I have my ears pierced but I would like more the thing is I’m afraid of needles :)
29.I like makeup? Yep
30.I wear make up everyday: not since March cause of the whole pandemic but I used to wear some concealer in my under eyes and mascara
31.My skin type is: mixt, oily in the t zone and kinda dry in my cheeks
32.My skin tone: Idk my mom says is coffee with milk lol So I would say medium brown?
33.My hair colour: dark brown
34.My height: 160 cm
35.My age: 19
36.My birthday: September 15
37.My best friend: I met her in high school, she is very nice
38.I have a pet or more: I have a miniature schnauzer, she mad cute
39.If i don’t, I’d like to adopt: another dog tbh
40.Video games or social media: social media, the only game I play is superstar pledis lol
41.I’ve visited outside my country: not that I recall
42.I’ve an innocent/dirty mind: dirty, I get all the dirty jokes too quickly, shame on me
43.Someone proposed me or asked me out? Ah quarantine flings, I said yes to the dude but then it got too intense and toxic so I said never mind lol
44.If yes, then I liked it and accepted or the opposite: I already answer ffs
45.Do you follow some celebrities’ fashion: noup, I just wear whatever I like
46.What do you think about your fashion sense: it’s whatever, like I said I just wear whatever I like so ofc I think is good
47.You found someone copying your fashion: mmm I don’t own it so this is a pretty dumb question
48.You Can do your makeup properly: yes, I do my make up whenever I have an event
49.You go or used to go with makeup to school: I’ve been doing the same since high school, some concealer and mascara and sometimes a little blush and highlighter
50.What colour suits you best? My friends say that green so I trust them in it
51.Finally, how is quarantine going? I hate it, I hate classes online and right now that I’m on summer vacay I can’t do anything fun and the next semester is about to start and I haven’t decided if I want to enroll to it or take a break until we can get back to uni, I hate it here
Am I gonna tag the same people as always? Yes, I’m so sorry 😫
@ahnscvity @fangirlonmain @ana0072
And that’s about it, I hope you are having a wonderful day 🥰
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
(REVIEW) All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything To Everyone, by Joe Dunthorne
Is it fiction, is it poetry, is it truth — what are the rules here? Kirsty Dunlop tackles the difficult, yet illustrious art of the poet bio in this review of Joe Dunthorne’s All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything To Everyone (Rough Trade Editions, 2018).
Whenever I read a poetry anthology - I hope I’m not the only one - I go to the bios at the back before I read the poems…it’s also a really strange thing when you publish a poem…you brag about yourself in a text that is supposed to sound distant and academic but is actually you carefully calculating how you’ll present yourself.
> It’s the middle of a night in 2019 and I’m listening to a podcast recording from Rough Trade Editions’ first birthday party at the London Review Bookshop, and this is Dunthorne’s intro to the reading from his pamphlet All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything To Everyone (2018). As I lie there in that strange limbo space of my own insomnia, Dunthorne’s side-note to his work feels comfortingly intimate because it rings so true (the kind of thing you might admit to a friend over a drink after a poetry reading rather than in the performative space of the reading itself). Like Joe, and yes surely many others, I am also fascinated by bios - particularly because I find them so awkward to write/it makes me cringe writing my own/this is definitely the kind of thing you overthink late at night. Bios also function as this alternative narrative on the margins of the central creative work and they do tell a story: take any bio out of context and it can be read as a piece of flash fiction. When we are asked to write bios, there is this unspoken expectation that we follow certain rules in our use of language, tone and content. Side note: how weird would it be if we actually spoke about ourselves in this pompous third person perspective irl?! Bios themselves are limbo spaces (another kind of side note!) where there is much left unsaid and often the unsaid and the little that is said reveals a lot. Of course, some bios are also very, very long. Dunthorne’s pamphlet plays with this limbo space as a site of narrative and poetic potential: prior to All The Poems, I had never read a short story actually written through the framework of a list of poet bios. The result is an incredibly funny, honest and playful piece of meta poetic prose that teases out all the subtle aspects of the poet bio-sphere and ever since that first listen, I can’t stop myself re-reading.
> This work is an exciting example of how formal constraints in writing can actually create an exhilarating sense of narrative liberation. I see this really playful, fluid Oulipo quality to the writing, where the process of using the bio as constraint is what makes the rollercoaster reading experience so satisfying as well as revealing a theatrical stage for language to have its fun, where the reality of our own calculated self performance can be teased out bio by bio. The re-reading opens up a new level of comedy each time often at the level of wordplay. I’ll maybe reveal some more of that in a wee bit.
> It’s a winding road that Dunthorne takes us on in his narrative journey where the micro and the macro continually fall inside each other. So perhaps this review will also be quite winding. Here is another entry into the text: we begin reading about the protagonist Adam Lorral from the opening sentence, who we realise fairly quickly is struggling to put together a ground-breaking landmark poetry anthology. His bio crops up repeatedly in varying forms:
‘Adam Lorral, born 1985 is a playwright, translator and the editor-publisher of this anthology.’
‘Adam Lorral is a playwright, translator and the man who, morning after morning, stood barefoot on his front doorstep […]’
‘Adam Lorral is a playwright, translator and someone for whom the date Monday, October 14th, 2017 has enormous meaning. Firstly Adam’s son started smiling.’
The driving circularity of this repetition pushes the narrative onwards, whilst the language is never bogged down: it hopscotches along and we can’t help but join in the game. Amidst a growing list of other characters/poets- that Adam may or may not include in this collection he seems to be pouring/ draining his energy into, with just a little help from his wife’s family money- tension begins to build.
> Although Adam is overtly the protagonist in the story, to my mind it is, in fact, Adam’s four-week-old son who is the real heroic figure. Of course this baby doesn’t have a bio of his own but he does continually creep into Adam’s (he’s another side note!). He comes off as the only genuine character: there is no performance, no judgement, he just is. Adam is continually amazed by his son’s mental and physical development which is far more impressive than the growth of this questionable anthology. The baby is this god-like figure, continually present during Adam’s struggles, with the seemingly small moments of its development taking on monumental significance. Adam might try to immerse himself fully in this creative work but the reality of his family surroundings will constantly interrupt. This self-deprecating, reflective tone led me to think about how Dunthorne expansively explores the idea of the contemporary poet and artist identity through metanarrative. In Ben Lerner’s The Hatred of Poetry (Fitzcarraldo Editions, 2016), he writes ‘There is embarrassment for the poet – couldn’t you get a real job and put your childish ways behind you?’ In a recent online interview with the poet Will Harris[1], when asked about his own development as a writer, he spoke about how the career trajectory of a poet is a confusing phenomenon and I’ve heard many other poets speak of this too: there are perhaps milestones to pass but they are not rigid or obvious and, of course, they are set apart from the milestones of more ‘adult’, professional pursuits. I think Dunthorne’s short story accurately captures this confusion around artistic, personal and intellectual growth and the navigation of the poetry community, through these minute, telling observations and the rejection of a simplistic narrative linearity. The story doesn’t make any hard or fast judgements: like the character of the baby, the observations just are. Sometimes, it feels like this project could be one of the most important aspects of Adam’s life (it might even make or break it) and we are there with him and at other moments it seems quite irrelevant to the bigger picture, particularly as the bios get more ridiculous. Here, I just have to highlight one of the bios which perfectly evokes this heightened sense of a poet’s importance:
Peter Daniels’ seventh collection The Animatronic Tyrannosaurus of Guadalajara, is forthcoming with Welt Press. He will not let anyone forget that he edited Unpersoned, a prize-winning book of creative transcriptions of immigration interviews obtained by the Freedom of Information Act, even though it was published nearly two decades ago. His poetry has been overlooked for all previous generational anthologies and it is only thanks to the fine-tuned sensibilities of this book’s editor that has he finally become one of the chosen. You would expect him to be grateful.
> Okay…so I said above that there weren’t hard or fast judgements; maybe I should retract that slightly. The text definitely doesn’t feel like a cruel critique of poets generally (its comedy is too clever for that) but, yes, there are a fair few judgements from Adam creeping into those bios. I am so impressed with the way in which Dunthorne is able to expertly navigate Adam’s perspective through all these fragments to create this growing humour, as the character can’t help inserting his own opinions into other poets’ bios. Of course, we are also able to make our own judgements about Adam and his endearing naivety: shout out here to my fave character in the story, Joy Goold (‘exhilaratingly Scottish’) who has submitted the poem, Fake Lake, to the anthology. Hopefully if you’re Scottish, you can appreciate the comedy of this title. Adam Googles her and cannot find any trace of her, which feels perfect…almost too good to be true.
> Dunthorne plays with cliché overtly throughout the text. You could say all the poets in this story are exaggerated clichés but that certainly doesn’t make them boring: it just adds to the knowing intimacy that, yes, feels slightly gossipy (which I can’t help but enjoy). For example, there is the poet who has:
[…] won every major UK poetry prize and long ago dispensed with modesty […] Though he does not need the money he teaches on the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. His latest collection is Internal Flight (Faber/FSG). He divides his time between London and New York because they are both lovely.
I am leaving out a fair bit of this bio because I don’t want to take away some of the joy of simply reading this text in its entirety but it is one of many tongue-in-cheek observations that feels very accurate and over-the-top at the same time (I feel like everyone in the poetry community knows this person). It is also even more knowing when you consider that Dunthorne actually has published a collection with Faber, O Positive (2019), a totally immersive read that also doesn’t shy away from poking fun at its speaker throughout. I always like seeing the ideas that repeatedly crop up in a writer’s work and explorations of calculation and cliché are at the forefront of this collection. I keep thinking of this line from the poem ‘Workshop Dream’:
We stepped onto the beach. The water
made the sound: cliché, cliché, cliché.
Interestingly, there is this hypnotising dream-like quality to O Positive - with shape shifting figures, balloonists, owls-in-law – in contrast to the hyper realism I experienced in the Rough Trade pamphlet. However, like All the Poems, in O Positive, we’re always one step inside the writing, one step outside, watching the poem/short story being written. It’s this continual sensation of being very close to failure and embarrassment/cringe. (I can also draw parallels here between Dunthorne’s exploration of this theme and the poet Colin Herd who speaks so brilliantly about the relation between poetry and embarrassment- see our SPAM interview.) Failure is just inevitable in this narrative set up. It makes the turning point of the narrative- when it arrives- all the funnier:
As Adam typed, he hummed the chorus to the Avril Lavigne song–why d’you have to go and make things so complicated?–and smiled to himself because he was keeping things simple. Avril Lavigne. Adam Lorral. Their names were a bit similar. He was looking for a sign and here one was.
> If it isn’t clear already, this is a story that I could continually quote from but to truly appreciate the work, you should read it in its beautiful slim pamphlet format created by Rough Trade Editions. For me, the presentation of this work is as important as the form: this story would have a different effect and tone if it was nestled inside a short story collection. I think a lot of the most exciting creative writing right now is being published by the innovative small indie presses springing up around the UK. Recently I listened to a great podcast by Influx Press, featuring the writer Isabel Waidner: they spoke about both the value of small presses taking risks with writers and the importance of recognising prose as an experimental field, rightly recognising that experimental work often seems to begin with, or be connected to, the poetry community. Waidner’s observation felt like something I had been waiting to hear…and a change that I had noticed in writing being published in the last few years in the UK. I could mention so many examples alongside the work of Rough Trade Books: Waidners’s We are Made of Diamond Stuff (2019), published by Manchester-based Dostoyevsky Wannabe, Eley William’s brilliant Attrib. and Other Stories (Influx Press, 2017), the many exciting hybrid works put out by Prototype Publishing, to name just a few. There is also a growing interest in multimedia work, for example Visual Editions, who publish texts designed to be read on your phone through their series Editions at Play (Joe Dunthorne did a brilliant digital-born collaborative text with Sam Riviere in 2016, The Truth About Cats & Dogs, I would highly recommend!). But this concept of combining the short story with a pamphlet format, created by Rough Trade Books as part of their Rough Trade Editions’ twelve pamphlet series, feels particularly exciting to me and is a reminder of why I love the expansive possibilities of shorter prose pieces. Through its physical format, we are reminded that this is a prose work you can read like a series of poems without losing the narrative tension that is so central to fiction. The expansiveness of the reading possibilities of Dunthorne’s short story also reminds me of Lydia Davis’s short-short stories. Here’s one I love taken from The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis (Penguin Books, 2009):
They take turns using a word they like
“It’s extraordinary,” says one woman.
“It is extraordinary,” says the other.
You could read this as a sound bite, an extract from an article, a writing exercise or a short story, the possibilities go on; there is a space created for the reader and consequently it encourages the unravelling of re-reading (which feels like a very poetic mode to me). Like Davis, Dunthorne’s work also highlights how seemingly simple language can be very powerful and take on many subtle faces and tones. I think short forms are so difficult to get right but when you encounter all the elements of language, tone, pacing, style, space, tension brought together effectively (or calculatingly as Dunthorne might say), it can create this immersive, highly intimate back-and-forth play with the reader.
> All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything to Everyone. The title tells us there is a collection of poems here that are hidden: the central work has disappeared leaving behind the shadowy remains of the editor’s frustration and the marginalia of the bios. We feel the presence of the poems despite not actually reading them. The pamphlet’s blurb states that this: ‘is the story of the epiphanies that come with extreme tiredness; that maybe, just maybe the greatest poetry book of all is one that contains no poems.’ The narrative, as well as making fun of itself, also recognises that poetry exists beyond the containment of the poems themselves: it can be found in the readings, the performances, the politics, the drafts, the difficulties, the funding, the collaboration, the collectivity, the bios.
> A friend of mine recently asked me: Where are all the prose parties?…And what might a prose party look like? We were chatting about how a poetry party sounds much cooler (that’s maybe why there’s more of them). I think prose is often aligned with more conventional literary forms, maybe closed off in a way that poetry is seen to be able to liberate, but I think Dunthorne breaks down these preconceptions and binaries around form and modes of reading in All The Poems. I want to be at whatever prose party he’s throwing.
[1] University of Glasgow’s Creative Conversations, Sophie Collins interviewing Will Harris, Monday 4th May 2020 (via Zoom)
~
Text: Kirsty Dunlop
Published: 10/7/20
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, I just saw your latest post about personal questions. When you mentioned ”real friends, ” I was thinking about mine. Sometimes, I'm really frustrated about my own feelings and allowing my ”friends” to be there for me. Sorry if this was long, but my question is: What makes a ”real friend?” If so, are you happy with the friends you have now?
fck dude, i know what you mean :( I hope you will be able to sort any emotions or problems or literally whatever you’re dealing with, concerning your friends!!
also so im not sure which question it was where i talked about real friends, maybe you were talking about #55?? :0
okay anyways, here’s my opinion on what a real friend is!
for me personally, a real friend is someone who is there for you, you know? someone who you have no hesitation or doubt to express your emotions and feelings. someone who you are able to share both your joy and your sadness with. If you were to suddenly meet your favorite celeb or go to a really fun event or somethn, who would you tell? likewise, if you were experiencing trouble at home, or in a relationship, or whatever, who would you feel comfortable telling?
for me, someone who is just so kind to me. someone who is actually genuinely excited to talk with me, and who doesn’t see me as a bore or a nuisance to talk with. ahhh, this is so hard to explain sksksk,,
and like, idk man, sometimes, i’ll stay on the phone for like, hours, with a friend. but like, we’re not talking or anything, it’s more like they understand how much being in the presence of someone else, comforts me, and they stay on the phone, even if we dont have anything to talk about. because they know how much i love even just their presence. does this even make sense sksksk?? im weird lol
so, am i happy with the friends i have now??
ooof, im gonna go with a phat no on that one. in my real life, i just haven’t reached that point of trust with someone. even with my current friends right now,, i enjoy their friendship with me so so much,,,, but i also, like i said before, dont feel like i can go to them for anything really. i still dont feel like they genuinely look forward to talking or interacting with me. however,,,,,,, man, i cant even express this enough. my online friends that ive made since ive started this blog,, have been like, amazing.
i can be myself around these people. and maybe its because im able to hide behind the shield of not actually seeing them? or being able to hide my face?? who knows?? but i do know that my online friends are some of the most nicest people ive ever met and truly, i feel like theyre more important to me than my irl friends. and ive never even seen them before!! :0 even in these past couple of days, ive talked on the phone with some of them for the first time,, and ahhh it was just so amazing,, fck i love yall sm.
okay im fcking writing a whole essay for this question, but its late and im kinda just rambling at this point oops,, anyways,, if you feel comfortable coming off anon, you can totally sliiide in my dms and we can talk more if you want :D if not, thats all good and ill just leave this here :)
i hope everything works out with your friends and your emotions and all that very very soon. i know what it’s like to be you bb,, you got this!
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
1-5 and 20-25 :-) sorry for all of them hehehe — 🖤 also i’m getting off work I WILL SEND U ANOTHER ASK HEHEHEH
oaiwenfoia you’re sooo c*te perhaps i’ll d*e………. hm………… anyway;; thank you angel (sorry it took me so long to do this ;; ___ ;;)
also this got mad long so i’ll put it under a cut!
1. how did you get into graphics / gif making?
i was an early ‘the vamps’ and ‘5sos’ fan and because of that, i used to make lil graphic type things?? i guess?? like i tried to make stuff like the ones i saw online omg… and mine were soooo bad but it was like so fun and i used to use this online editor and it was trash but like i would have so much fun… (and that was back when i was in grade 7-ish..? so i would’ve been like jfjfiwaoefo 12/13) and then i just kept doing it;; eventually in grade 10 i took a graphic design course and i got a hold of photoshop and it blew my mind and from there i just kept kinda… doing it??
and with gifs omg… ok i swore i would never make gifs cause it looks SO complicated like bitch ill kill u what do u mean layers to frames wtf !!!!!!!!!!!! and then when i was in my first year of uni in around june i was like… omg i wanna try again… cause i’d tried it before and my ps just crashed… so i was like let me give this another go.. and i did… and it worked.. and my mind was like blown omg… i was in AWE… omg i just realized its been a whole year since i learned how to gif stop ill die
gfx/gif questions
2. do you do something creative/related “irl” as well?
well!! i just got into college for graphic deisgn hehe;; so i’m hoping that that’ll be my future :’)
3. who/what inspires your graphics / gifs?
hm, well!! whenever i see really great pieces of gfx or even in real life when i see a magazine piece or a billboard that just looks stunning i feel inspired!! and i’m like eugh i wanna try making smth like that ;; also music and movies and games inspire me sometimes?? but if i was to say who!! then it’d probably be all my amazing content creating mutuals!!! their work is always wowing!! i always tag ppls gfx with ‘gfx inspo’ bc im genuine :0 when i see it ;; ___ ;; like how is everyone so creative and talented;;
4. what do you enjoy about making graphics / gifs?
oh wow, mm… it allows me to be creative? and put to use skills that i think aren’t always appreciated? like my p*rents never take me doing graphic design seriously;; but then recently my mom wanted me to make a lil label for her for a friend’s garden and i did and she was like !!!!!! so happy abt it i was like TT TT cause both my parents were finally like ok i get it sorta;; i really like that i’m able to make smth kinda outta nothing?? like art is really interesting bc you get to let your thoughts and experiences affect the outcome of your work so?? like.. i like that everyone has a different style??
and for gifs;; i really enjoy that its such a structured task like… its very.. orderly and routine based?? like i know what i’m doing everytime?? and the places where i get to change it up are like the colourings and the style of set i make and that makes it fun and creative too;;
5. what do you dislike most about making graphics / gifs?
mm the creativity block;; i feel like sometimes i cannot think of ANYTHING to make and those days i feel kinda useless as a cc…… it sucks but foiawnefiawn eventually i’ll figure smth out if i move things around enough fajwefowaeo
and giffing omg…… idk… probably the colouring process…… but thats majorly because my laptop’s screen displays colours kinda whack from how they actually look and so i have to do 2x the work to make sure it looks good and smdays its like idc anymore just post the set and pull the trigger
20. your favourite fandom(s) to make graphics / gifs for?
for gfx it’s definitely stray kids!!! they have some of the most fun lyrics to work with and their concepts always always inspire me like crazy!!!
for gifs its the tmg fandom! everyone in that fandom is suuuper nice and supportive and like;; even if i’m not always making gifs i dont feel like i’m falling behind or ? like ppl will be mad or smth ? like its a safe small community and bc of that it feels so good ;;;
21. how much time do you spend on a single graphic / gif?
very dependent! gfx can take from like an hour to like a week+?? it just depends on how intense and intricate it is ig;;
gifs are shorter;; probably take me a few hours?? the longest a set has taken me is maybe like 6 hours but that’s bc i was being slow about it and trying to find all the necessary parts! but on average itll take abt half an hour to maybe two for one set
21. what is your biggest improvement since you started making graphics and or gifs?
ogoaiweniogaw stop this is so funny.. i wanna go find my old wattpad covers so you can all cringe with me but… mm, with gfx i guess i learned what my Aesthetic™ was and what i really liked and like fjjfaiosdksfd i learned how to use photoshop which is a big thing lmaoooo……… and with gifs!! definitely my quality (shout out to vapoursynth) and my colouring :’)
23. what is your biggest improvement in the past month?
hm… time management jfaiweoofiaw i’ve definitely gotten wayyy faster at giffing and i really do not take as much time anymore;; which gives me some peace of mind lmao
24. what is something that you’re wanting to learn right now?
illustrator! i’ve been fooling around with it a lot recently;; and even one of the pieces i submitted in my portfolio was smth i made on illustrator heh;; but theres a huge learning curve (like btich what is the pen tool ill kill u) fnaoiefiownf so i wanna get lots better with it ;;
25. what would you like to see others learn how to do?
this is an interesting question;; mm i guess everyone is different?? so idk if i can answer this question cause i think everyone’s style requires them to learn in their own ways?? so idrk ;; i guess something to make certain people’s lives easier would be like LEARN KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS !!! that shit saaaves my life like idk man it cuts down on my time for sure;;
#🖤 anon#anon#answered#thank you babie#i'm soooo sorry this took me as long as it did#also sorry this is sooo long fjaowiefnoaiw#i hope you're well angelllll
1 note
·
View note
Text
Okay I Lied There’ll Be 2 Posts At Most Today & This Is 1-
ONW Nostalgia Week Day 3
Today last year, I think by this time, I joined the best fucking clusterfuck of idiots online I have ever met after one hell of a nightmare stream the night and day before.
@a-septic-mind, @decubelli, @hyper-kitten-9, @heeky-3, @sans-the-comic,
I know you guys might not see this because you’re participating in the protest or just unable to access Tumblr atm for various reasons, but--
We’ve somehow surprisingly gone through a lot of members in one year and have all had our fair share of hardships both personally and as a group, but even with some of those nightmares in mind, you guys are still some of the most cooperative, creative motherfuckers I’ve ever crossed paths with in my 6 years of roleplaying, character creating, and world building.
I don’t remember what the fuck we were doing this morning last year but I’m pretty sure by now I was in the chat and already nicknamed Isa because literally everyone was like “Oh fuck, Arabelle though” EVEN THOUGH ARABELLE DOESN’T EVEN USE THAT FUCKIN’ NAME LMAO. It doesn’t matter much to me though because I’ve come to love the nickname you guys gave me and honestly I think I go by Isa in all but maybe 2 places online now.
This year I suffered the inevitable end of one of the longest online friendships I had and I think I’ve shared a majority of why that person was so important to me already so I’m not gonna bother rambling about why it was such a devastating thing to me. But even though I was hurting horribly from how toxic the last two years of knowing them was, I had five amazing people to fill that void and in January, two more came to help do that. :’) Thanks to you guys and @deaths-presence for talking me through it all, I was significantly less of a wreck about that friendship finally dying than I was dreading. I really owe you guys for that one but this post isn’t here to make me cry, it’s here to make you cry so get ready for some call-outs you little shits. <3
@decubelli, thanks for being the one I talked to all night before I joined and for remembering to send me an invite in the morning. :’D Also, I know the AU didn’t start the same day I joined the group but shoutout to us for being the first two people to throw drama into the rp, lmao. I know high school has lowkey consumed your life, but we still love you. <3
@a-septic-mind, I think out of everyone in the group, you’ve gotten to know me best for a number of reasons and everybody who exists ever already knows all the fucking tea they could ever want to hear about what a nightmare my dad is, but even though I’ve said it a hundred times already, I’m gonna say it again-- You’ve genuinely felt like a replacement parent in his place both as yourself and in-characters. I don’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve done with or for me in this past year. Also, as is a classic thing to say from child to parent- thanks for putting up with all of my bullshit. xD <3
@hyper-kitten-9, shout the fuck out to you for getting me deeper into Sanders Sides this year, what the fuck man. Also your art has improved so much from the time we met to now, I’m doin’ a heckin concern your skill levels are gonna surpass me cause fuck me if I can ever art lmao. I don’t know much of anything else to gush about you for because your stupid school life has you dead a lot but you got big gay and you got big valid so fight me you little edge lord. <3
@heeky-3, I think there’s only one other person in my life on or offline who is as innocent as you and it still fucks my mind that someone as obnoxious and dark-everything’d as me could be friends with someone as anxious and precious as you. xD Character!Isa might have forgotten Heely exists but I could never forget you myself. I know this year has been a total roller coaster for you, but the bunker has your back. <3
@sans-the-comic, wow where the fuck do I start with the tea for you, holy fuck. This goes for the entire bunker, but I know you especially have been having a hard time lately so please never forget my DMs are open, even if you think the reason you need to vent is stupid. I’m literally studying for a profession in this shit so fucking come to me if you need anything ever. I’m gonna leave a simple eyebrow wiggle @ our AU ideas that we come up with and just say that my god, you are a god tier writer and angst maker. I’m gonna fight your whole ass irl life so it lets you online more often so we can drag your angsty ass into the story plot more. Hang in there, my dude. <3
@mini-hero-rena and @masohno, I’m gonna totally annihilate your asses on your joining anniversaries since you weren’t around when I joined but honestly, it wouldn’t be the bunker without you two so hi. <3
I love the absolute fuck out of all of you and after letting my muse suffer for almost two years because aforementioned toxic ex-friend was my main source of creativity, I’m so fucking grateful I got a whole group of people dumped on me and you guys have fueled my creative brain all year long alongside my wifey. :’D Let’s hope our crazy asses stick together for a billion years more. Happy 1 Year Anniversary of Getting Isa’s Dumb Loud Crazy Ass Dumped On You. <3
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Current Favourite Dramas
So I thought it would be a cute idea to share my top ten favourite dramas as of 2017. Maybe I will come back to this next year and it has completely changed or more or less stayed the same. I hope this will also come into use if someone wants to watch a new drama or wants to get into watching them!!! I will also include reasons why people may not like it just so if there is something you really hate when watching dramas, that you know it is there!!!
Anyway, here we go:
10 - Playful Kiss
I honestly love this one! It was the first drama I ever watched which is why it has to be on this list. If you look online, it seems to have a lot of hate around it due to the female character and that it is just one big cliche, but to be honest it is so nice once in a while to watch something a bit cheesy, and that doesn’t require much thought while watching it. For those who don’t know what the plot is, it revolves around a girl who is in the lowest class in her school and follows her love story around a boy who is the smartest and coolest in the school. At the beginning he hates her and often embarrass her on purpose in front of their classmates. But as fate makes their families live together, their love grows closer.
What may put you off this drama is its over clicheness, and the foolishness of the main leads. If you dont like too much cheese, then this may not be for you, but i do recommend it if you want something easy to watch and if you are interested in the Itazura Na Kiss franchise!!
09 - Smile, You
I fell onto this drama about two years ago and my god I was glad I did!!! The cast, the story, and the chemistry is just amazing!! It is a classic hate to love relationship between the main couple, the drama faces issues of money, family and changing the way you live. It involves two families: the Seo’s and the Kang’s. The Seo family are rich after inheriting the grandfathers business however they go bankrupt due to carelessness, and have no over option but to live with the Kang family, who has been serving under the Seo’s, and have to learn how to live frugally. I absolutely loved the female lead, she started off being a spoilt brat and always getting what she wanted, to someone who wants to work and earn her own money.
The only issue i find with this drama is that I constantly got frustrated with the other family members due to their stubbornness and constantly thinking that they are right when they are being stupid and annoying!! but other than that, I honestly think this drama is an amazing one. It is a 45 episode drama, but the episodes used to go by so quickly so it didnt take too long to watch!!
08 - My Father Is Strange
Oh my goodness, this drama honestly completely surprised me. It made me laugh and cry and smile with happiness. The whole cast were amazing and played their roles so well, it was almost like they were a real family. It revolves around a family of five who seem to be living the perfect live. However, when someone turns up claiming to be the fathers son, it all gets disrupted. What I liked about this drama the most is that each of the family members have their own individual story, and focuses on them building new relationships. I loved Jung So Min and Lee Joon’s character in it so much that i genuinely want them to be together irl!!!
The only issue i find with it was that some of the side stories dragged too long and the in-laws of one of the daughter’s in the family were a bit annoying!! But that shouldnt put you off it the drama. Even though it is a 52 episode drama, like Smile, You, it went by quickly and is something I think both drama veterans and newbies will enjoy!!!
07 - Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo
This was an absolutely beautiful, funny, and meaningful drama. The chemistry between the two characters was amazing, loved this couple!! That is not the only reason why I loved this drama. I honestly think the main reason I liked this drama is because it is the first one I have watched that has brought on the message on how serious mental health is, it doesn’t try to make a comedic or weakness element to it which i think it amazing!! The story revolves around a girl who is aiming to be a weightlifter and is studying at a sports university. It shows struggles with love, friendship, and mental health.
You know what, I honestly can’t think of a reason why you might not like it, other than that the female lead is a bit stubborn and foolish at times. It is a mood warmer and is certainly a must to watch.
06 - Secret Garden
Secret Garden was my first favourite drama. The plot is so good, and it thrilling and nerve-wrecking up to the end. It is another hate to love relationship drama, and features a lot of body swapping. The story focuses on the relationship of a stunt woman and a male ceo of a rich shopping centre who’s personality needs a bit of working on. The two end up drinking a potion that causes them to swap bodies when it rains. This leads to some funny, sad, and interesting moments between them. I loved the extended cast and their own stories, and it also features young Lee Jong Suk!!!!!!!
You may not like it if you dont like douchey male leads and cliches of evil mother in laws. It is a classic drama which I feel is almost wrong if you dont watch it!!!!
05 - Suspicious Partner
One of my favourites from 2017!!!! This drama is filled with funny moment, romance, and suspense!!!!! The Chemistry between Ji Chang Wook and Nam Ji Hyun was just unreal, I cant explain how much I love them!!!!!!! There was so much sexual tension and hot kisses!!! The story surrounds a woman who wants to be an attorney and a man who is a prosecutor. Everything changes for both of them after the female lead is framed for the murder of her cheating ex boyfriend. The acting in this drama was incredible, especially by the villain of the story, he was so good!!!
What was annoying about this drama is that there was a breaf period where the couple broke up when they didnt need to!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!! I was so annoyed, but it didnt ruin the drama for me, and overall it was such a good drama, the plot was on point and was so suspenseful on how they were going to proof the killer of murder!!
04 - Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo
HOOOOOO BOI!!! This drama was a whirlwind of emotions, which is why I loved it!!!!! The first couple of episodes fooled me into thinking it was going to like a historical rom com, boy was i wrong!!!! If you are going to watch this prepare laugh a lot, cry a lot, feel betrayed by certain characters, and to fall in love with all of the princes!!!! If you do not know what this drama is about, well it revolves around a girl in the present day who when saving a boy from drowning is brought the the Goryeo times of Korea and finds out she is in the body of the cousin of the wife of one of the royal princes, and she soon has to find out that she has to adapt to royal life in korea!!!
I feel like if you research this that you will find a lot bad press about it, but don’t listen!!! It does have a rather different ending to what most thought it would have had, but you know what, i honestly believe that the ending was perfect, even though it broke my heart, it fit so well with how the story was told!!!! I do recommend in watching an up beat drama afterwords because its a sadden!!
03 - You’re Beautiful (joint 02)
The next 2 drama’s on this list are pretty much on a tie of second because of how much I loved them!!! You’re Beautiful is an absolute masterpiece in my opinion!!!! It is such a fun loving show, it made me laugh and smile so much, the chemistry between all of the characters was amazing and its nice to see that they are still all friends (this was made in 2009). The OST was so beautiful and catchy, I love Park Shin Hye’s singing!!! The plot consists of a nun in training who has to pretend to be her twin brother due to him having plastic surgery issues while getting ready to debut with as one of the biggest boy group as its new member. The lead of the group Tae Kyung and Mi Nam dont get on at the start due to several incidents, but after finding out she is a girl, he ends up with having to look after her in situations and both end up slowly liking each other.
Similar to playful kiss and secret garden, it holds a lot of cliche, and personally I did not the kind of love triangle and the second female lead, however I thought she was alright in the last episode. But overall, it is such an up beat drama. I watched this when I was going through a tough time in my life, and it really helped me get through some of my problems!!!!
02 - Pinocchio (joint 02)
I’ve got to say, I was so surprised by this drama!!! Everything about this drama is just ahhhh!!!! Park Shin Hye and Lee Jong Suk are my absolute favourites, they both perfectly acted their roles and their chemistry was beautiful!!! I recommend this drama with all my heart. Like I mentioned, I loved this main couple, but the reason why it gets my top pick was due to its plot. I loved the whole mystery element to it and how they used journalism to find the answer of how Dal-Po’s (ljs) father’s death was abused and caused the death and disappearance of his brother. It was an on edge, suspenseful drama, but also had its comedic elements. I absolutley loved the supporting cast, even the second male lead, which I rarely ever do!!
The only fault i find with this drama is that when I first watched it, i thought the first 3 or 4 episodes were quite slow, but now i find those as some of my favourites as it tells the past and how dal po was effected by the death of his father and how poor journalism changed his life!!! I cant tell you how many times I’ve watched this one, i remember the first time I watched it, I started it again straight after!!!
01- The Best Hit
As I am writing this, I can’t stop smiling!!! That is how happy The Best Hit made me!!! I found out about this drama a few days before the first episode aired due to the release of Beautiful Beautiful, a song for the soundtrack, and I instantly fell in love, not only with the song but also because it starred Yoon Shi Yoon who I absolutely adore!!!! There are so many reasons why I love this drama, so here are some: the 2 Days 1 Night references and cameos were amazing (the drama is directed by the past director of the variety show and Cha Tae Hyun who like YSY is a cast of the show). I liked how the plot of the drama was a mystery. No one knew where it was going, who was going to end up with who, what was going to happen to YSY’s character. I also liked how there wasnt really an evil character, and those who you thought were, they were just stupid. The plots consists of Hyun Jae (ysy) who is a famous pop star in 1993 time travelling to present day. He finds out that in 1994 he dissapeared, creating a conspiracy on if he is dead or alive. He finds out he has a son, and tries to help him achieve his dreams while falling in love along the way!!! It is so funny and sweet, I remember the waiting time each week for a new episode to arive!!!
What some people may not like about it is that there are sever continuity errors and areas which could have been developed further, but you have to hand them credit, it was the directorial debut drama for both PD Yoo and and Cha Taehyun!!! Honestly, this is one of my all time favourites and will all ways be!!! Please please please watch this drama!!!!!
SOME HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
The Ledgend of the Blue Sea
Oh My Ghostess
Boys Over Flowers
Flower Boys Next Door
Personal Preference
Because This is My First Life
While You Were Sleeping
#krdrama#2017#playful kiss#smile you#my father is strange#weightlifiting fairy kim bok joo#secret garden#suspicious partner#Moon Lovers#you're beautiful#Pinnochio#the best hit#the legend of the blue sea#boys over flowers#oh my ghostess#flower boys next door#personal preferance#because this is my first life#while you were sleeping
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
May 6: Too Many Circle Thoughts
So I think the reason The Circle (s1) got into my head and is now going to be living there for a bit is that it’s just so damn wholesome, and I didn’t watch it for its assumed wholesomeness (I watched it because I thought it would be dumb and mindless) but that’s where we are. It was cheesy and it often tried too hard, and it talked up a big game of ~strategy and ~drama and judging books by covers blah blah blah but what it really proved to me was that people on average actually do want to like each other and be liked on a genuine level and will form friendships over rivalries whenever possible. It’s an encouraging lesson.
I have a variety of theories as to why it turned out like that, one of which is that the game is not really a social media competition and it doesn’t actually mirror real social media at all. Thus the lessons/assumptions of social media are not relevant to it. People aren’t becoming popular by appealing to the largest mass audience possible, as irl influencers do; they’re forming alliances, friendships, and partnerships in a supremely limited environment: only 7 other people at a time. Very little of importance happens, especially after the first day, in the realm of status updates, photos, new posts, likes, etc. It’s all about group and private chats. In other words, social media really may reward shallowness and superficiality, but on the show, people are rewarded for how they talk to other human beings. I do think there was an emphasis on the overly happy, overly positive genre of writing that social media has definitely spawned, and some of that was a little fake--as you can tell from also seeing people talk just to themselves alone--but tbh I actually think more of it was genuine than not. The language, or the code they were using, was that cheery, upbeat, bright, optimistic, over the top, emoji and hashtag strewn dialect of online speak, but the sentiments were real underneath a lot of the time, and that was rather heartwarming to me.
My other and more specific theory, though, was that it was Shubham. He might not have been the winner, but he was the center of the show; he made the season what it was and defined the tone and the unspoken set of rules that essentially governed who was eliminated and when. By which I mean, despite all the big talk about strategy and gameplay, on average, the players rewarded people who were genuine, and penalized those who were too blatantly playing the game. I think the reason they did this was Shubham.
This is obviously a generalization and not every blocking precisely fit the pattern. But I think it’s broadly true, especially if you differentiate ‘blatantly playing the game’ from ‘is a catfish.’ You can use your real photos and still have everything out of your mouth be, if not a lie, a calculated statement to get you to a certain place. And you can be using someone else’s photos and acting just as if they were your own--like Sean, for example, for the 12 hours she decided to catfish.
Antonio was one of the Players I thought was most blatantly playing the game; I can’t remember him saying anything that wasn’t for the purpose of gaining something. Yes, everyone thought to some extent about what their statements or interactions meant, but he seemed to have no other motives. Similarly, Karyn/Mercedeze was a catfish, but she was also a strategy player. She lasted a little longer than Antonio because she was a little bit more real, and she had a real friendship with Chris, but you could tell from her monologue outside of the chat that she was in strategy mode all the time. It didn’t serve her well. Adam was a catfish who only lasted as long as he did because he spoke as some kinda version of himself with the guys--even having only watched the season once, I suspect that he was saved by his male friendships, not his creepy flirting. Four of the five finalists were not only not catfish, but they were people who had pretty consistently just said whatever they thought was right, not what they thought would be the most effective strategy-move at all times.
So obviously there are some exceptions to the pattern, but imo, not strong enough to break the theory. Alana hardly counts as anything because she was eliminated based on almost nothing. They all barely knew each other at this point. If anything, I think what doomed her was Sammie being an influencer, and her ill-conceived “skinny bitches chat.” Sammie didn’t like that, and with so little other evidence to go on... there she went. Miranda I think was just a casualty of bad luck and, to some extent, the handicap of all later additions: that everyone else knew each other better than they knew her. Similarly, Bill was 100% a casualty of his timing. Coming in with another player, and leaving with another player, while having almost no time to distinguish himself from the superficially extremely similar Bro, Adam, was his undoing.
Rebecca to me is apparently the biggest wrench in the theory but actually, I think she proves it. She is a catfish who made it to final five. BUT.
First, I could argue she was more genuine than she seemed but tbh I have no idea; I still can’t figure out if Seaburn is an amazing liar or if he really is that shy/sweet and just only felt comfortable behaving that way in the game if he wore a female face. Or something in between. Like Karyn, he made some contradictory statements about his persona, strategy, and rationale.
So I won’t argue that.
I do think that Seaburn had two big things going for him as Rebecca; first, that her sweet/shy/nice persona was exactly the sort of thing that most of the players, coming in good faith, wanted to believe in and were drawn to; and second, her incredibly strategic alliance with Shubham, which came to her rescue especially when the first advantage broke down. Rebecca was a pretty consistent third ranking and I think that general popularity was a product of the shy persona. She wasn’t most people’s favorite-favorite, but they did like her. BUT, when people started doubting it--when her odd statements started adding up, and people like Ed, with no loyalty, voiced doubts that let other people feel safe at the very least talking amongst themselves--it all would have broken down but for that Shubham alliance. It was too well known that Rebecca was his girl (”sister” lmao ok; funny how that word didn’t come up until she started flirting with actually-kind-of-grew-on-me-in-retrospect catfish-Adam). And in fact when Joey had the decision to make between her and Sean, he chose Sean to get rid of specifically, actively, and admittedly, because his bro Shubham would be upset if he blocked Rebecca. And like, part of that was strategic because he didn’t want to break an alliance with a betrayal (not know that at that point it barely mattered anymore) but I think a lot of it was straight up friendship too. He didn’t want to hurt someone he cared about. I felt bad for Sean and I could understand her deep betrayal, but if it had somehow weirdly worked out that it was her or Shubham, I don’t think she would have thought twice about the deeper meaning of Joey’s decision, because it would be so clearly straightforward, and this was essentially the same, just in equation form. Ultimately, she was blocked because she came onto the game way too late to form any alliance that could compete with the relationships among the OGs and that’s that. I’m sure she couldn’t see it at the time, but it’s really to her credit that she would have probably made top 5 but for that Rebecca/Shubham/Joey triangle, because Joey speaking for himself, would not have picked Rebecca over her.
Anyway, so you see Shubham directly influencing the makeup of the top 5 and, somewhat ironically given his own value system and dislike of catfsh, directly facilitating the the original catfish’s entrance into the finale, but imo he was also behind the whole general ambience of the group, the greatest influencer, pun intended, on the value system that everyone roughly adhered to throughout the show. I’m not saying that Joey, Sammie, Chris, and the rest were complete blank slates, and maybe it would have turned out the same otherwise just based on general casting. But my theory is that some people were coming in with no other thought than strategy, and Shubham was coming in with an express mission to Be Himself with as little artifice as possible, but most people were somewhere in the middle: playing as themselves, trying to be likable, trying to make good decisions for themselves as Players, but also wanting to make friends, to be nice, to be personable because people like pleasant interactions with other people, not just because Nice People Win Popularity Contests. I mean the reason being nice is a good strategy move in a popularity contest is that people don’t want to be around others who are mean!! It’s not arbitrary!
I think Chris would have been the absolute same no matter what--frankly, even more than Shubham (who did have a strategic mind himself, and not only in that he had something to prove or a thesis to test), I think he was playing as his genuine, real self, without recourse to strategy, 98% of the time. But Sammie, Joey? I don’t know. I think they, and some of the later players too, would have behaved differently if the overall mood of the game were different.
I think what happened is that Shubham being ranked eighth was the real turning point in the game. Because he was so sure that meant he was going home--that his hypothesis was just wrong at its core--so he said things honestly and sadly simply because he had nothing to lose. That triggered honest, genuine, good hearted sympathy from these, I really believe, basically good hearted people, and the ones who reached out to him then both earned his loyalty, and came to genuinely like him. Thus, a cycle: the good feelings he engendered put him at the top again and again, and his loyalty to his core people redounded to their benefit again and again. People were not ranking him high to be strategic, though. Toward the end, they actively admitted that they were ranking him too high for their own good! They were ranking him high because they honestly thought he deserved it.
There are a variety of values the group collectively could have chosen in making their rankings: pure selfishness (penalizing anyone they thought could hurt them, or sabotaging people they thought others would like--though if everyone takes this strategy, it would soon devolve to chaos); attractiveness; personal connection; personal favor. But they seemed to pick being genuine, not necessarily in a (non) catfish sense, but in an interpersonal sense. Genuine friend versus strategic player. I think that’s because being genuine was Shubham’s most cherished value, and he made this very and explicitly clear, and everyone, or nearly everyone, aligned themselves to that both because he was (/they’d made him) so popular, and because they genuinely liked him and were won over by him and agreed with him.
Not that this kid invented thinking honesty was a virtue lol. I just really felt like it was a revelation of over-thinking that he defined the whole game.
But he didn’t win lol. Of all the players, I think Joey probably did deserve the title most. I think Chris deserved the money most, though, which was my only thing.
Well, that and.. Joey is my favorite himbo and I think he was for real. But every now and then he had moments that made me almost go galaxy-brain in wondering if this was the biggest con: not just axing Miranda and Sean directly after flirting with them, or thinking Antonio was fake, but piling on with accusations against Mercedeze and Rebecca, things like that.
That said, he was one of the premiere narrating-to-my-room contestants, and that monologue, which had no strategic value, was... 100% certified himbo. So, good for him.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
imbadatoot
Shooting Star
pawprins
✨💚✨
cyclovinobordo
Sans titre
umbernymph
soon, my love
earquencher-blog
Ear Drops