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#like i get it sometimes we are wronged sometimes we are bitter
inkblackorchid · 2 days
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Hi! How do you feel about the Crashtown mini-arc?
Ahhh, Crashtown. Honestly, I’m extremely in two minds about the arc. See, here’s the thing. When I watch it, it’s a great deal of fun. It’s a very self-contained little story that has all the necessary setup and payoff built into itself, and the cowboy aesthetics in Crashtown’s unique setting, while technically still being part of 5Ds’ largely futuristic canon, are absolutely hilarious. Not to speak of the excellent dramatics, what with Kiryu being in his depressed bitch era and needing the Power of Friendship to remember why it’s nice to be alive. So, in isolation, I find Crashtown very funny and its self-contained story compelling.
However, sometimes, I get a little frustrated knowing how many episodes this arc takes up, because where the larger narrative is concerned, Crashtown accomplishes… Well, nothing, unfortunately. It doesn’t interact with the main plot in any way, doesn’t develop Yusei’s character in a particular way (because we already knew he’s a special kind of loyal-as-a-dog-devoted when it comes to Kiryu; if anything, Crashtown only shows us that he’s also a little more gullible than usual when Kiryu gets brought up), and while it does give Kiryu meaningful character progression, he’s sadly never relevant again after this point in the show (literally the only two times he shows up after this point is during the flashback of everyone cheering Yusei on during his duel with Z-ONE and in the epilogue as he loses to Jack). Worse yet, the whole arc begs the question of why only Kiryu and no other dark signer got this kind of tying-up-loose-ends treatment. (The answer, I believe, is that he’s specifically the dark signer who has the strongest ties to Yusei in particular, which awards him special treatment. That does nothing to justify why Carly, who I’d go as far as saying is at least equally important to Jack as Kiryu is to Yusei, doesn’t get anything like this, though, and is instead sidelined because she has amnesia. You know. Amnesia. Everyone’s favourite trope. Which Kiryu, curiously, also doesn’t have.) And considering how often I lament about the things I wish 5Ds canon had spent more time on, I don’t think it comes as a surprise that it leaves a slight, bitter aftertaste in my mouth that an arc like Crashtown that adds nothing to the larger plot or any character other than Kiryu gets so many episodes while many things I wish the show had addressed don’t get a single one.
So, Crashtown’s kind of a mixed bag for me. I think the best way to sum it up would be this: If you handed me the reins for a full 5Ds rewrite, one of two things would happen. Either the show would gain another twenty or so episodes where I’d try to give all the other dark signers similar treatment as Kiryu in Crashtown, developing both them and the main cast members they interact with more (and also try to make them at least show up one more time before the Ark Cradle arc, even if only to cheer Team 5Ds on during the WRGP), or Crashtown would be left on the cutting room floor entirely, because if the only way to improve the main cast and plot were to find time for all the necessary adjustments within the exact same episode count we already have, Crashtown (and all of the pre-WRGP arc’s pure filler episodes) would be the first thing to go.
Don’t get me wrong, the yeehaw arc has excellent aesthetics, excellent dramatics, and is great fun every time I rewatch it, so I don’t fault anyone for loving it to bits, I absolutely get it. My inner overanalyst/canon rewriter just can’t unsee how many episodes it took up that were desperately needed for other stuff sometimes.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
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sonicunleash · 1 year
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you know sometimes i get little lonely on here with like 4 dedicated sonic mutuals at most but then i get glimpses of the sonic posts and takes circulating around outside and im like you know what im fine in here actually.
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florenceisfalling · 1 year
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like idk. i miss seeing content from s.igne (though i respect gab wholeheartedly). i miss fanart from my favorite artists. i miss older eras of j.se at times (and yes, there were older eras, the way people pretended he Never Changed is just weird). i miss old anti designs. i miss the old fic trends. i miss having a very active fandom (though i am so happy to see the new arrivals) and i miss seeing him interact with fans the way he did on tumblr back in the day. i miss the way i used to interact with some of the blogs here before i decided to fuckin,,, wage holy war and make enemies out of them (joking, but i have seen sides to some of these people that i wish i could tear out of my memory). i miss feeling confident that i could trust the good intentions of people here and even the big man himself (not god. that makes sean sound like god. you know what i mean). i miss when some of you weren't so fucking bitter which is funny because i'm the bitterest bitch alive. idk. i don't think it's bad to miss any of these things because i'm not going to be an ass and act like it's anybody's fault. i'm not going to be bothered by gab for being happy because i'm glad she is happy, and i'm not going to get bothered by sean taking a reasonable step back from this hellsite when people were cruel to him, and i'm not going to get mad at trends for changing because that is how time works. but i do miss things and i know its cringe and parasocial and perhaps even problematic but i hate having to pretend like i never have Any feelings about the past lest i break a hypothetical rule of what is the Normal level of attachment to an online community. okay. i think i'm done now.
#one of my favorite writers left because they couldn't deal anymore and one of my favorite writers turned out to have shit views and one of#my favorite writers left because of something that was partly my fault and one of my favorite writers stopped writing because of two of the#others and one of my favorite writers hurt someone i love over and over and over and one of my favorite writers left because they were the#someone i love. two of the big names hate queer folk that don't align with their ideals and half the artists left for twitter or for dead.#the man himself left because criticism always becomes cruelty and people lie to make themselves feel good.#the editors all turned their accounts private and my favorite told me on livestream that i was good and starting somewhere but then forgot#my name. and i thought maybe i was the bitter one but then i look at some of the other people who have been here so long and wonder why#they even bother anymore because they care more about complaining with everything j.ack does than anyone who actually enjoys his stuff.#and you know i poked fun at *** for a lot of things. some deserved some not. and one of them was the fact that she compared fandom#to warfare. and yes that's still silly i don't think it's a fair comparison but i do know that she wasn't fully wrong.#when you've been here for a long time and ive Been here for a long time you start to get really used to names and faces#and the change can be like waking up to a new wallpaper in your room. not a bad one just a new one.#i don't want to pretend that this fandom is just a silly little hobby for me when lets be honest i know some of yalls personal lives a#little too dearly for that. ive loved people here ive lost people here the first person who showed me this place fucking DIED and i still#lose it sometimes over the fact that he would have loved jameson so much and we couldve been closer friends had he stayed alive a few more#years. so yeah. sorry for being fucking cringy or whatever but there have been times where i've felt like im on a sinking ship watching#everybody else row away and i refuse to go. so like. cool. cool. im glad things are good again but i never really got to process the bad#things.
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theghostofashton · 2 years
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#the idea that a story about a marginalized person/community needs angst to make it good or that happy/cute/wholesome stories#are less than or 'boring' will always make me just :/#i see this w so many things and it's like. why does everything need to be sad for it to be considered interesting#why does it need to have angst or address discrimination at length like#as a woc i am tired of every narrative about south asians discussing racism bc frankly it's exhausting#and triggering at worst#as a queer person i am okay w narratives not delving into homophobia i am okay w things being happy and wholesome#and everything working out#like to exist in this world as a marginalized person is to be intimately familiar w the reality of how many people want you dead#simply based on the fact THAT you exist#and maybe it sounds idealistic but if fiction can make me forget that temporarily and see queer stories and south asian stories#and have them just be......happy#i will absolutely fucking take it lol#idk i saw something earlier that pissed me off im just like#let young kids belonging to these marginalized groups have their happy cute warm stories#they do you no harm by existing and bitterness about them being ~boring~ or ~unrealistic~ is just......annoying as fuck lmfao#like obv don't get me wrong we need to talk about and write about racism and homophobia they're important#but sometimes you just wanna live in a world where things work out and characters that look like you / identify like you don't suffer
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fortunately-bi · 5 months
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Not mad but a bit disappointed at work rn
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dungeonpuppykai · 2 months
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|| Party Girl ||
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Summary: You secretly go to a party mid exam season and your friend forgets to exclude Ari, your responsible senior boyfriend, from their social media stories. To make things worse, said party is at his rival, Ransom Drysdale's house, who unbeknownst to you, ends up posting a picture of you two together. 
Pairing: Daddy/Cg!Ari Levinson | Little!You.
Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own Ari Levinson. This is a mature story so browse at your own discretion. Minors do not interact.
Warning(s): Smut with plot (c'mon it's me), spanking (ass and pussy), punishment, protective!Ari, possessive!Ari, Daddy kink, ddlg vibes, orgasm denial, rough p-in-v, cock warming, slight angst because we are being responsible for once, mean Ari, dacryphilia, humiliation, begging, doggy style, hair pulling, choking, slapping, dumbification, unprotected but reader is on birth control, creampie, degradation, maybe slight fear kink.  
Note: First independent Ari fic go boommm~ Also omg I'd forgotten how good ddlg can be lmfao the warnings literally increased a shit ton from the teaser. Lots of love to everyone who was so nice to the teaser. Feedback is much appreciated 🩷
MASTERLIST
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"Mmm, Dadduuuuu~" the remnants of the painkillers that you had hurriedly chugged down were still bitter on your tongue as you returned to your boyfriend in the living room. Sliding over the couch from behind, you crawled into Ari's lap and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. The stiffness of his form went unnoticed by you due to your much unfortunate hungover state. Him not turning the tv on to watch some sports should have been the second sign that your fate for the day had been sealed before you had even woken up. The first was him showing up to your apartment unannounced and cooking you breakfast. Not that you knew it yet, it was to prepare you for what was coming. You foolishly took it for granted and thought he had come over to study together as he sometimes did on Sunday mornings.
"Slept well, baby?" You purred into his soft hair to signal agreement as one of your hands reached to snake around his dark brown locks.
"Yes, Dada~" you gave the third sign yourself. It was habit for you to get super clingy whenever you were sick… or hungover. "Followed bedtime rules~" as you smiled and craned your neck to bat your lashes up at him after lying through your teeth with shameless confidence, you sighed to yourself. 
God.
You really, really, really loved and appreciated your boyfriend but right now you wished more than anything that he rather have some other plans today. 
Because it was 8 in the morning on a Sunday! 
Since you had snuck out, you had to pretend that you had gone to sleep at your bedtime; which was 10pm. But the truth was that you had stumbled into this very apartment with your roommates at 4 in the morning drunk off your rocker! All you wanted right now was to crawl into your bed and sleep the whole day away. 
"Oh, is that so?" You were too tired to notice the mock in his faux amusement.
"Of course, Daddy!" You tightened your other arm around his broad shoulders in as convincing a way as you could muster. "Good babies follow Daddy's rules, right?" Shame nipped at your cheeks so you kissed his cheek to hide the blush that was spreading across them. 
You felt bad but if Ari found out, your butt would feel worse.
Besides, what he did not know could not hurt him.
… Right? 
Ari nodded, leaning his heavy body to one side in order to fish his phone out of his pocket before he unlocked it, softly squishing and pulling your ass with his free hand. "Do you have a twin, baby?"
Your eyebrows furrowed and you snorted at the randomness. "What?" When he did not respond and kept swiping away on his phone you added, feeling just a little uneasy now. He only behaved like this when something was wrong. "Of course not, Daddy." 
"Then this is just the craziest little thing, isn't it?" He turned to look at you and the intensity in his sky blue eyes made you gulp.
"What is, Daddy?" You had checked your app settings three times to make sure he was excluded so it couldn't be that. 
… Right?! 
"Come here" the pretentiousness in his enthusiasm was clear as he 'excitedly' pulled you closer. Ari was not like that. He was the chill, laid-back kind of guy and you were the frivolous, fussy and noisy one. "Look at what I saw on Dee's story last night!" As he showed you a screen recording of one of the many stories your friend had posted last night, your blood ran cold. "Doesn't this girl standing between her and Steve look just like you?" You gulped as he pointed at a carefree you having the time of your life doing silly TikTok dances with your friends as your titties bounced in the skimpy outfit that you wore to the party.
Oh, he did not appreciate you wearing those kinds of clothes in public settings. 
Especially if he was absent at said settings.
"But of course, it's just a lookalike" Ari nodded sarcastically in a fake reassuring manner, every word laced in mock. "Because… wait, when was this? Oh, yes" he checked the time it had been posted. "This was way past my baby's bedtime who was in bed after studying for her upcoming exam the entire day!" Since it was a screen recording -you could always count on criminology major Ari for precaution-, the next story played and there you stood happily doing another dance with… fuck. 
You were dead, done, dusted, deceased. 
Or at least, your ass was.
Your urge to kick Dee increased with the passing second.
"And of course, the party was at Drysdale's house" the blood under your face was bubbling. "So there's no way that's my baby because she would never betray me like that, right?" Ransom was Ari's arch nemesis. 
The major fellows continuously rivaled each other in grades and their respective sports. While your boyfriend was the football captain, Ransom was that of the basketball team and there was even a rumor that they had initially competed for the title your boyfriend now held all throughout their freshman year. Since Ransom refused to be subordinate to Ari, he had left shortly after losing to him and had joined the team he captained now.
But Ransom had always been so nice to you it didn't feel right being mean to him!
Or yes, perhaps he was a tad bit too nice. 
You were naive and Ari was overprotective.
Another story rolled on. Dee had the camera in selfie mode as she pressed her cheeks against Steve's -her boyfriend-, who was nuzzling against her and laughing at you along with her. You were having a chug off with– you wanted to facepalm with all the strength you had. 
Fucking hell, you did not even remember meeting Ransom let alone having a beer race with the guy! And now there was footage of the event you had blanked out in your unhappy Daddy's phone! 
Why had he even hung out with your group for that long?! 
"This girl is gonna get in soooo much trouble!" Steve tipsily pointed at you as you drunkenly cheered and waved in the camera upon being shown, grabbing another bottle from your boyfriend's rival but only sipping at it now. In your defense, you did not remember the Ransom bits because you couldn't care less for the guy and you were probably too drunk by the time he found your group. 
"Shhhh, it's a secret, guys…" Dee pretended to whisper into the camera. "Ari doesn't know she's here, we excluded him from our stories!" The football captain was a renowned campus topper so it didn't need any more explanation than that. 
How said captain managed to keep up with all of his obligations, was a popular mystery.
"And she's gonna be one sorry little girl when he finds out" Steve spoke like the loyal friend that he was to Ari, both his substitute captain and childhood best friend. His girlfriend laughed and switched to back-camera again to show you. "He's not gonna be happy, you know?" The blonde man was heard speaking to you as though you were a child and you were glaring at him exactly like one. 
"I am a big girl!" You scowled as you shot back, cheeks puffed and arms crossed. "And if he's gonna be unhappy then that's just too bad!" Dee had told you that her boyfriend shared the same old fashioned thoughts as your Daddy regarding certain things. "Because I don't CARE! He's not here and I am!" You giggled into the camera as you stumbled closer, your nose colliding with the lens as your whole group laughed with you. Then, as though you hadn't damned yourself enough, you grabbed the camera and looked into it. "Sorry not sorry, Daddy! If you mind so much… come and stop me? Oh, what's that?!" You winced and cringed at the girl in the video -you- as she put her hand behind her ear to 'listen' better. "You can't?! Because you don't even know?! Oh–" the phone was snatched from you with a cackle and the story ended abruptly along with the music and laughter. 
How the hell did you not remember any of that?!
Your face was hot in embarrassment.
And what the hell would you even do that for?!
"Huh" Ari snorted as he cocked his head to the side. "Did you hear that, baby? They were talking about me" you looked anywhere but at the smug man, praying for your ass and wellbeing. "But since there's only one me and I only have one baby…" You gulped as you gingerly detached yourself from him and tried to move away only to fail. Daddy had a near death grip on your butt. 
His suspicions from yesterday had just been confirmed. Ari could read you like a book and he had noticed something was off about your behavior yesterday. To which you had denied by brushing his questions off and assuring him that everything was fine.
Only…
Your heart was hammering against its cage in panic. Clearing your throat after nervously chuckling a little, you tried to politely twist free from his rough hands. "Y- You're right, Daddy… that's n- not me" now why would you say that?! As Ari raised an amused eyebrow at your sheer audacity, you went to stand. 
"Is that so, little girl?" And then you dared to nod, only digging your grave deeper. 
"Yeaah… Oh! I think my phone's-" you tried to make a run for it but one heavy arm wrapped around your form to make you stay put.
"Oh, yes" much to your horror, Ari took your phone out from his other pocket now. "Your phone, how could I forget?" Unlocking the screen showing a picture of you two cuddled up on a camping trip, Ari tapped on your Snapchat app. "I am so proud of you for following all your rules and studying hard yesterday, baby" he said as he tapped through your many stories from last night before swiping to story settings to find him crossed out. "I really treasure the trust we have built in this relationship" that made you lower your head, his disappointed voice enough for your throat to tighten. Now he tapped on your Instagram and went to a pending tag request. "And the mutual respect is just off the charts" your eyes stung and bottom lip wobbled when he pressed at said request. 
Ransom had tagged you in a selfie he had posted with you, the both of you posing with your drinks. The caption read 'Saturday night shenanigans' and there were comments from his friends about– of fucking course. 
No wonder he had clung to your group like a leech after spotting you amongst them last night! 
He had used you to one up Ari. 
You opened your mouth to speak and raked your tired mind for excuses. But none came. When you slowly looked up at your pissed off boyfriend, you sniffled in defense and gulped down the huge bile that had formed in your throat. His anger was justified. What was he to make of all this? 
You would have reacted in a much worse manner had you been in his place. 
Hell, you actually had ghosted him for a whole week early on in your relationship once because some cheerleader was getting too handsy with him.
That was before Ari had taught you how to communicate. 
Jeez, he knew everything, didn't he?
Why couldn't you just shut up and obey your Daddy without question because he clearly knew best?!
"I… s- so sorry, Daddy…" His face was stern; features hard and eyes a dull disappointed blue instead of the usual intelligent bright coral. You tried to say more but shame strangled you and your bottom lip wobbled again. "Sorry…" Turning around in his arms and placing yourself flat against his lap, you couldn't help but pout. You wanted to say more, you really did. But no words came. 
Ransom's stupid post had closed all paths to easy redemption. 
He was so dead!
You just knew Daddy was not going to let him get away this time. 
"Are you?" The arm that faced your back laid down along its length, his elbow firmly digging between your shoulder blades to nail you in place. "Or are you only saying it because you got caught and are in trouble now?" A hiss left you when he squeezed your ass and caught an old bruise in his grip. 
"N- No, Daddy!" You whined. "R- Really do m–" your words were sucked out of your throat in a gasp when Ari gave a particularly hard pull to one of your cheeks, causing your pucker to painfully stretch sideways in the process. 
"I am sorry, what was that?" You pouted. 
He got so mean during punishments!
Yet, you could feel your special parts bubble up to life. "R- Really do mean that I am s- sorry, Daddy!" 
The older only hummed. "Good" before his calloused fingers disconnected with your ass cheek only to come down on it with a heavy smack a few moments after. "You should be." A loud grunt left you as one of your feet kicked up defensively. 
"Oh!"
Ari hummed as he drew his hand back and then brought it down again, your cheeks jiggling in the process. "Yes, oh" the sarcasm was making your cheeks burn even hotter. But as his hand worked on your poor little butt that was sure to have started blushing even in its still clothed state -which were some panties that you wore under one of your boyfriend's huge shirts-, you realized that things were yet to get worse.
Much worse. 
"Lying" five smacks followed that and you jumped with each one. "Sneaking out" each of your cheeks received a spank before your naturally wet panties -Ari was to fully blame here, his existence alone triggered you- were peeled off with a click of his tongue before six repetitive strikes were administered to your now blushing and much nude butt. "Staying up past curfew!"
"Sorry, Daddy!" You could do nothing but helplessly grip his leg and lay ass up at his mercy. 
"Oh, already, little girl?" Ari's calloused palm was relentless as it continued to collide with your fleshy cushions after being pulled back up in air to produce as much force as possible. "But I have barely even started with you yet" you kicked your legs to help and fight the pain of his harsh slaps, your spoiled little butt jiggling feverishly with each hit. 
"Oh, nooooo!" You couldn't help but sink your teeth down into the hard muscle of his lap when a particularly hard thump fell directly atop your pucker and made you feel as though it had shattered the rim.
Ari was a really strong guy after all.
"Oh, yes" your boyfriend taunted as he paused his hits to harshly squeeze one of your cheeks before pulling it away from the center and creating space between your legs. "You disobey Daddy, lie to him and break his rules to go to a party that–" your lips formed into an 'O' shape as you arched your back and nearly mewled in response when he cupped his free hand against the curve of your blushing ass, fingers tapping against your moist core. "Ransom fucking Drysdale is hosting," your tingling pussy was now beginning to warm up due to his incessant pats. "And then as if that's not enough, you party with him and fucking post about it–"
"Ouchie, Daddy!" You cried out when he pulled his hand out from between your ass cheeks only to resume the spanking. "Please!" You were sure that your whines and pleads were going to wake the girls up. 
… Not that it would be the first time that they would overhear you getting absolutely railed or punished to fuck and back.
"Oh, and let's not forget hiding your silly little social media star adventures from your Daddy!" Your eyes were starting to tear up from how badly your poor ass was throbbing. 
"Swear I am sorry, Daddy!" Ari clicked his tongue when you tried to get away, placing a firm hand on the small of your back to keep you trapped and meek. It continued like that for a couple minutes and it was only when you were afraid his next hit would draw blood did he stop.
Only…
"Dirty little girl" Ari grunted as he moved down and onto your soaking pussy now. "Making a mess all over the fuckin' place while she's being punished, tsk" your bottom lip wobbled as you blinked away stars that the heavy slap had caused. "Is your silly little brain too stupid to understand that this is not playtime, huh little girl?" The tenderness in his mocking words made you the wrong kind of warm and before you knew you it, tears were streaming down your face due to how exposed and sensitive you felt. 
"... N- No, Daddy" you sniffled and he snorted. "N- Not playtime…" Your mouth quivered.
"Ah, great. The good old academy award performance!" Your features scrunched and you sobbed out loud at that, trembling when Ari slapped your core again. "How could we leave that out!" 
"R- Really do mean it, D- Dada!" Your boyfriend tutted before connecting another strike to your vulnerable folds. 
"Is that why you're leaking like a dumb little slut?" Your eyes clenched shut as you anticipated yet another spank but were surprised when one of his fingers pressed into your leaking slit instead. "Because you're so sorry?" Your body tensed and fingers tightened around his leg regardless of the suddenness, whilst his invaded and explored your narrow passage of flesh. 
"Daddy…" Your head fell limp as you hissed, clenching around his finger as it slowly pumped in and out of you. 
"Do you think you deserve to feel good after you humiliated your Daddy like that, little girl?" Your frantic breaths got heavier and more labored as his finger gained momentum. "Making all those asinine big girl speeches and daring your Daddy to participate in your kiddy little games like he has the time?" You could only shake your head as you sucked on your thumb since it had snuck its way into your mouth out of habit, willing your hips closer to your relief. 
But Ari knew your greed too well.
And his thick digit was pulled out of you with a loud and devastating plop to which you reacted with a sharp turn of your head, gaping up at him with your teary eyes with shock painfully evident on your face. 
The male shook his head with a sigh. "You really thought I was gonna let you off the hook just like that?" 
"B- But…"
"But, what?" The edge of his words along with the intimidating raise of an eyebrow killed all your protests in your throat.
"N- Nothing, Da–" You hicupped. "D- Daddy."
"Hm, that's what I thought" Ari nodded sarcastically as he kept his eyes on you but continued to torture your pussy with the lightest of rubs and prods for a short frustrating while. "Get your backpack" you whimpered at his tone which was still as harsh as ever. 
He was still very much upset. 
"Y- Yes, Daddy" lifting your body off his and onto your feet, you couldn't help but lower your head in shame as you waddled away while biting your lip to hold back your sniffles.
Grabbing the carelessly discarded backpack from a corner of your room, you rubbed your stinging eyes as you walked back to your giant of a man, your shoulders trembling into a shake as you tried to breathe and were forced into a hiccup instead. 
Ari didn't take it from you when you held it out to him, as not per usual. "Take out a practice notebook and a pencil" oh, fucking shit. Your eyes welled up with tears again when he refused to acknowledge your puppy dog eyes, instead crossing his huge arms over his broad chest and raising an eyebrow at you, "well?"
You opened your mouth to try and plead your case but his unimpressed expression made you close your mouth momentarily before finally uttering out a quiet, "Y- Yes, Daddy." 
You were not graced with a good girl today. Instead, your boyfriend rested his back against the couch and watched you squirm under his dark, intense gaze while carrying out the order. As your hands shakily fiddled with the zippers of the bag, you contemplated whether to whine and pout your way into getting him to melt. But then a bitter flashback of the image Ransom had posted heated your cheeks and you couldn't help but lower your head in complete defeat.
When you had finally fished out the items he had asked for in the most awkward and downright pathetic manner -as you dropped multiple things a couple times before fulfilling the seemingly basic task-, you nervously shifted your weight onto one foot, silently holding the items out to him again.
Usually, he made the makeshift quiz paper himself.
But.
Ari was not in the mood to pamper you in any way. Well, that's what you got for vehemently lying to him all day yesterday when he was being so loving and sweet. He had even offered to come over and go to sleep together all cuddled up. To which you had made some half-assed lame excuse. 
Your boyfriend's next orders were to open a new page and jot down a question which basically asked for a summary of all the academic tasks he had planned for you yesterday. You gulped to yourself as you pondered whether to confess or pretend to solve the contents that you didn't even bother to look over let alone study. 
In your humble opinion, only geeks studied during the weekends.
But one look at Ari's face and you knew your only option was the latter. Because you could not take disappointing him yet again so soon. 
Though deep down you knew it was inevitable after what you had done.
So, off you went pretending to write into the page while trying to hide it from him, desperately raking your mind for any information similar to the keywords. Except you forgot that you could never win against your boyfriend who was now reaching for your elbow. Your whine turned into a grunt when your throbbing butt cheeks were not only lowered to make you sit on his lap so he could look at what you were doing, but the material of his clothes grazed against your sensitive skin. And then his fat tip prodded against your swollen pussy. 
You weren't allowed any time to adjust -not that you needed any, courtesy of his cruel punishment- before you were lowered all the way down on his angry red leaking cock. Despite your attempts to be as quiet as possible to keep his annoyance in check as much as could be managed at this point, you cried out at the intrusion.
Your boyfriend was way too big for you not to.
The skin of your impaler was hot and rigid, erect in long and thick cable-like patterns in certain places, the top grazing against your most sensitive part and causing the formation of neon stars in your vision while the even thicker base violated your intimate part like it was meant to be treated that way. Your heartbeat was in your ears.
"Well?" Ari's taunt was nearly breathless. "What are you waiting for?" Right. His beard tickled your arm as his cheek pressed against it to have a better look at your nonexistent work. "Go ahead."
You had gotten so carried away by the much needed penetration, that you had momentarily forgotten about the object of your doom that stared up at your hot face blankly from its position in your hands. Though as you went to begin your little game of pretend for just until you could ride his dick -or just rub against it- into relieving the ache between your legs, your boyfriend's heavy arms wrapped around your waist and restricted any and all movement, his warm chest pressing into your back.
Your mouth fell open when you felt Ari press your stomach inwards against his cock, its ridge pressing up into you with the full intent of now intruding you even deeper. His throaty chuckle spent vibrations up your pussy and spine alike from where he connected with you.
"You seriously didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you, little girl?" Your lips wobbled into a pout as you whined softly, feeling sweat break out on your skin as you struggled to write, then erase, scribble a meaningless half sentence and then rub it clean with the eraser once more. 
When you didn't respond and instead took your frustration out on the poor paper that was yet to see something substantial, Ari threw his head back and gave a loud laugh. The action caused formation of another series of cruel reverberations that were still not the required friction but enough to edge you on and you cried out in exasperation, crossing a word out this time because your patience had had it with the eraser though the force you used to do so caused the nib to break. 
"Huh, you did think it was gonna be that easy!" You resisted the urge to fling the notebook across the room, instead half turning to whimper at him in a pleading manner. 
"P- Please, Daddy…" His blue eyes ignored your glassy ones and instead traveled to the notebook in your hand. 
"Hm, let's see what we have here so far…" Unwrapping one arm to hold the bunch of binded papers that was dangling from your hands at this point, Ari hummed. "Nothing, how surprising" you didn't think it possible for him to sound any more disappointed than he had already done but here you were. 
"Daddy, I am sorry!" Your frustrated whine was loud enough for him to finally look at you and that with a challenging twinkle in his eye. "I- I mean…" Biting your lip, you couldn't help but lower your head, unable to hold his gaze in these kinds of situations. Ari Levinson was an intimidating man, boyfriend or not. "I- I am sorry that I broke almost all the rules–"
"Almost?" You bit your tongue and tried to reach for his hand but were denied the pleasure. 
"Sorry, sir…" Taking a deep breath to calm yourself and try to clear your clouded head, you continued. "I am sorry that I b- broke all my rules yesterday" his silence and lack of movement signaled that your offense required more rectification than this. "I am sorry for not being honest and l- lying about everything that I did wrong and– ah~" a sensual whine forced itself out of your throat when his cock suddenly twitched between your walls. 
"Go on" maybe he was liking this. Perhaps this was the way. 
It had to be. 
You had fucked up enough for a month and redemption was a vital need.
"A- And…" Your heart rate picked up even more. "I am s- sorry for not listening to you about Ra-" your heart jumped when his body tensed and you had to recompose yourself before continuing. "... About R- Ransom. You were r- right and I should have trusted your word because Daddy always means well…" You could make out his growing smirk from your peripheral.
"Oh, is that so?" You whined.
"I am sorry, please! I get it! I will never question your word ever again, I promise!" Because that was what this was about, the extra cruelty anyways. "J- Just please…" Your opening was so sore. 
It was crazy how good he was at holding himself back.
You were too impatient for edging.
"Please, what?"
"Please use me, Daddy…" You dared to peak up at him through your lashes. "N- Need you so bad…" 
"But big girls don't need Daddies" you could scream out at this point. 
"I am not big, Daddy! I promise!" Your voice finally broke and tears came flowing down in frustration, his arm still not allowing your hips any movement. "I… D- Daddy's dumb little baby… dunno anything…" Leaning closer to him, you were glad to finally be allowed his hand when you reached out for it yet again. "N- Need him t- to think for me… and take c- care of me…"
Ari sighed and stayed quiet for a few moments before speaking, hopefully contemplating whether you had suffered enough or not.
Preferably the former.
And then. "Because you can't do it on your own?" You shook your head eagerly. "Because you're such a silly little baby that your useless mind needs Daddy to make all the decisions?" Oh, yes.
"Y- Yes, Daddy. B- Baby is too stupid to know w- what's good for her" your pussy clenched around him at your own words, causing his eyes to darken. 
Ari nodded in agreement. "That's right. Nothing without your old man, are you?" Oh, God. You clenched again at his words and hummed in agreement, unable to form any words this time around and ducking your head down to press your lips to his neck submissively.  "You need me, don't you, little girl? To make even the simplest of decisions for you" the notebook and pencil were taken from you before being discarded on the couch. "Tell you when you need to eat, sleep, wake up, go potty, study…" He moved effortlessly with you still clamped on his cock, moving you both down against the coffee table, you on your hands and knees as he straddled you from behind. "Who to speak to, who to stay away from, where to go" your eyes fluttered close as you felt him move inside you, humming along his words. "What to do at what time…" With one firm hand on your hip, Ari gathered your hair into the free one. "When to breathe…" He whispered once he had pulled you closer by your hair, holding your throat with his free hand. 
You gulped and clenched around him again, eyes rolling up momentarily. "P- Please, Daddy~" you squeaked out helplessly.
"What do you want, baby?" The male still refused to move. "Use your words for Daddy."
"N- Need you, Daddy" you tried to rock yourself against him but the attempt was in vain. "Please, Daddy. Need you so bad!" 
"And how do you need me, baby?" You groaned when he curved your body with the grip he had on your hair even more, causing your body to jut outwards and his dick to change position. 
"Every way, Daddy!" You were on the verge of breaking out into sobs again. "Please, Daddy! Please, use me!" You reached behind to tap and feel for his arm, your fingers curling around it when you found it. "Any way you want, Daddy! Please, please, use me! Need you so bad…" As you squeezed his wrist you realized that anything would do at this point.
You just needed him to fuck into you regardless of the position. 
You would cum wet or dry all the same. 
"Any way I want, huh?" His hand let go of your throat to reach for your tits as his chest draped over your sweaty back. You could only nod out with a whine, nether regions in extreme need of relief. "What about… dirty little baby slut getting fucked like the little cockwore that she is for her Daddy?" Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he finally moved his hips, causing you to whimper out loud, arms trembling as the upper half of your body threatened to give out against the cold floor. "Being reminded of her little place?" You groaned aloud in agreement, moving your head back until it was pressing into the crook of his neck, back arching when he twisted one of your nipples. 
"Yes, please~" you breathlessly whimpered, feeling your knees shake when a loud plop sound resonated against the wooden floorboards behind you as Ari's thrusts gained some speed, your hot slick hanging and thumping out of your weeping pussy and onto the ground. 
"How she can't even– shut up" your head lolled to the side when your boyfriend tugged at your scalp with the grip he had on your hair to turn your face sideways. "Shut the fuck up. Not one word. You have had more than enough undeserved speaking privileges for a few weeks. Now Daddy will speak and you will only listen like the dumb little slut that you are" you pursed your lips tightly shut to hold yourself back from accidentally disobeying him. A harsh slap was addressed to your neglected boob. "Is that clear?" You jumped and gasped, the movement causing his tip to pound against your sensitive bundle of nerves. "Nod if you understand" you cried out in response to how your nipple was pulled.
Fighting the urge to verbally respond, you hurriedly nodded and bit your lip in anticipation.
"Tsk, would you look at this stupid little baby…" Ari's voice was gravelly as he tutted at you, increasing the pace of his thrusts to his typical slut pounding rhythm now from the previous one which was more of a smooth, velvety intrusion that was sometimes for torture and sometimes to get you to adjust. "Can't even fuckin' breathe without my permission" his hand followed his words and enclosed around the shape of your neck again. "But tries to act all big and independent in front of her silly little friends, tsk" the sound of skin slapping against skin was getting louder by the second, your delayed orgasm quickly rebuilding itself through the pressure and haze Ari's denials had caused your insides. 
"S- Sorry, Daddy!" Your knees were literally squeaking against the floorboards at this point and you just knew that you were gonna be very sore everywhere tomorrow. 
"I told you to shut up" his rhythm changed to long and hard penalizing jabs as he pulled your collapsing body back up by your hair and sat up on his knees, now fucking up your tight cavern. "Stupid little baby slut" Ari's grip on your throat disappeared for a few seconds to land a slap on your wet cheeks. You hadn't even noticed that you had started crying from the intensity of it all. "Can't even carry out basic tasks" now your other cheek was made to share the same heat as your body bounced all the way to his ridge only to come gliding all the way down and onto his heavy ballsack with loud squelches. Though it was all happening so fast you could barely keep up or comprehend it. 
"Stop with that mouth breathing" your nails dug into the skin of the arm he was using to suspend your head upwards, the other set pressing into the palm he wrapped around your throat now. "Disobedient little whores like you don't deserve that" and then he finally squeezed, restricting you of what little way of coping you had been clinging on to deal with this prostate shattering pounding. "Think you deserve to breathe after what you've done?" His words were nearly venomous.
Though this much cruel final loss of autonomy caused the hundreds of knots that had formed in your abdomen to finally explode and your loins boiled over. Your tense body fell limp against his and color drained out of your face, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you clenched around his cock and milked it subconsciously. 
Ari was breathless himself as he clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Did I say you could cum?" He let go of your throat when you began to lose consciousness and forced you back to the present. "Tsk, only you would dare to cum when you weren't even allowed to speak" but then how were you supposed to ask? That was just it.
This was why you did not piss Ari Levinson off. 
Now he moved your upper half onto the floor and laid your head against it so your cheek pressed against the cold wooden boards as you numbly blinked out the stars in your vision, feet cold and mind too fucked out to process anything. Your ears were ringing so you could barely make out any of his insults and heart was thumping with such heaviness in quick intervals that you could feel it against the skin of your chest. Although only faintly.
Ari widened your thighs and lifted them off the floor to position himself even better against you. So you were nothing but an actual fuck doll for him to use. But before he began the ultimate battering of your hot and wet walls that had relaxed by now, Ari moved one of his legs out and reached for your head with his foot to both lock you in place as well as to reach you the deepest he could. 
A shiver escaped you when you felt his heavy foot place against the side of your head and push your cheek deeper into the ground. Then one of his hands gathered both your arms into it and bundled them on your lower back. Last was his free hand which smacked both your cheeks before he grabbed a handful of one your hips.
And then the pummelling began. Your body slid, slipped, collapsed, nearly gave out and faded into unconsciousness multiple times as Ari fucked you so hard that both the sound and smell of raw flesh colliding filled the entire room until nothing else remained. 
It was all so much that your mind gave up trying to comprehend it. The only thing you could decipher now was Daddy; inside, outside, under and above. And though Ari had fucked you probably beyond dumbness at this point, you felt your body -that was working independent of your mind now- curve when your pussy clenched again and you got wetter, hitting another orgasm when your boyfriend's hot seed exploded into your cavern and overflowed the narrow space.
"Look at you, baby." Ari panted as he pounded his orgasm out into you, his animalistic thrusts causing little droplets of both your cum to fly everywhere. "You look so perfect in your slutty little habitat. So completely fucked out under Daddy's foot, barely conscious yet inviting all the same." It took him a few moments to slow down and finally stop. 
Though when he finally did, he reached for his phone and turned his camera on to record pulling his monstrous girth out of your battered pussy, snorting at the sight of your pucker winking at him defensively as your pussy dripped of his seed, the abused hole gaping open submissively. 
"Tsk, tsk. What a slutty little baby I have here" Ari tutted as he watched you through the camera, squeezing your bruised ass before landing a harsh slap on it and causing both the cheeks to jiggle as well as some of his cum to plop down onto the floor. "Making all this mess on the floor like a dumb little slut who has no control over her body…" Now he moved the lens towards you and zoomed in on your face, pushing your face into frame with his foot. "Do you have any control over your body, baby?" When you just blinked up at the camera, he snorted. "You may use your words now, come on." 
"... N- No, Daddy…" You croaked out softly.
"Who does?"
"Y- You do, s- sir…" Ari's smile was finally one of pure satisfaction.
"That's fuckin' right" another smack was addressed to your ass. "And you better fuckin' remember that next time you want to be a sneaky little disobedient lying brat" you could only nod submissively as you stared into the camera, feeling him move away before he pulled you up by your hair and sat you on your knees to face the camera properly.
"I- I will, Daddy. Th- Thank you." You wanted to look down and not at the camera but you did not want to take any chances. 
You were so close.
"Hm," Ari caressed your cheek with the back of his hand before softly moving your hair out of your face. "Maybe I should post this on the campus forum, huh? Since you like being a little social media star so much, huh baby?" Your boyfriend cupped the side of your face now and wiped away your drying tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Would you like that? Everyone seeing how good you can be for Daddy?"
There was only one answer to that question. "W- Whatever you think is best, Daddy" your voice was hoarse as you looked up at him from the camera now, moving your face sideways to kiss the hand that was caressing you. 
"There's my girl" a condescending pat was given to your cheek before Ari cut the video off and stood to his feet to fix up himself before putting his phone away. "You're coming with me. I've had enough of this silly cat and mouse chase." The edge of his tone made you whimper.
"Yes, Daddy." 
Ari hummed before bending down to hold his arms out for you. "Now come here" your bottom lip wobbled as you used whatever little strength you had left and flung yourself in his direction with grabby hands that he easily caught and lifted you like the baby you were with little to no effort. 
"I am s- so sorry, Daddy" you wrapped your limbs around him and whimpered into his soft hair gratefully, resting your tired head on his broad shoulder. "Really am."
"I know, baby. You took your punishment well, I am proud of you." His ticklish kiss was tender against your sweaty temple as he slung your now packed bag over his other shoulder and made his way to your room to pack your other things. "Rest that pretty little head now, Daddy's got you." Before he pushed one of your pacis in your mouth: a shiny yellow one shaped like a duck, and tucked your favorite candy doll under the arm you held out for it with a barely audible whine. 
The party girl was gone and only the little girl remained, enveloped in her Daddy's loving hold as she drifted off to sleep.
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Tag List 🩷; @goodkittyspost @loklaufeysonssgodess @emerald-writes @milknhonies @teen-wolfsydia @identity2212 @i-heart-anne-b00nchoy @hazycottagedreams @lokislady82 (can't tag you lovelies :()
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genshins1mpact · 1 year
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#every time my father picks another shitty fight and i get all worked up and bitter i can't help but think...#two wrong don't make a right but my 'daddy issues' & scara#scara's mommy issues are a match made in hell so what it do baybee#i normally go for the vvv sweet or spicy sweet ones yet lately....#im like this close to just aiming for all the (fiction ofc) toxic tropes#bc while i can't say i relate to everything.. scara def reminds me of old me ive tried so hard to overcome sometimes#maybe why i took so long to come around to him.. reminded me of all the ugliness i like to pretend isn't still part of me 💀#and now im like ykw fuck it time to main him- /hj#delete later#just rly needed to vent & i normally keep that on main bc that one's pretty dry lately anyway but.. nowhere else would the refs make sense#tldr; toxic tropee w/ scara time bc im feelin fucked up and it's time for some terrible decisions 🤪🤙🏻#reminds me of that one kaeya fic where he abandoned the mc and their kid and shit went ham til diluc stepped in to help and all that#.....lowkey wanna find/re-read that one again if it's still out there#&maybe some questionable albedo tropes too or even childe idk. again just.. all for bad decisions rn bc life got me all sorts of fucked up#:^))))))#/neg#vent/rant#why do we call them daddy issues like they're our issues and not our inherented problems from our barely functional dick figures-#uhh i mean sperm donors- err fathers#if you thought that was petty .... you didnt even see the parody holiday card i made him w/ a diaper on it 🤡#ok but fr ima shut up now and i better actually remember to delete this one hhhhh
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multi-fandom-imagine · 2 months
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─ ★ Broĸeɴ Hαllelυjαн || 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 ||
↳𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑↳
A/n: I'm so bad at angst....i hate this.
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When Adam asked you to take a peak in hell you never thought you would end up falling for the King of Hell. The time you spent in hell, you didn't want to leave, you grew close to everyone, close to Charlie.
The nights you and Lucifer shared, that was something you would never forget.
But of course, nothing can ever stay good for long. It has to end sometime right? It was a shock to see Lilith, the woman was beautiful of course. You didn't blame the look Lucifer was giving her.
It hurt of course, the painful feeling of tightness in your chest. You hated how happy they looked together, they looked like a perfect family. You knew it was wrong to be jealous, you have no right to be jealous because he was with her first. But that didn't stop the pain you were feeling in your heart.
Sinking your teeth into your lip, you dropped your shoulders. Any rational thought of speaking with him left your mind, not when he was smiling like that, laughing like that. Taking a deep breath you bowed your head turning away from the family.
You couldn't get in between them, Lucifer deserved a second chance with his wife and if he was happy then you can be happy too. Feeling a few tears slip down your cheeks you let your wings unfurl.
Taking a deep breath a bitter smile formed on your lips as you turned your back to the family missing the concerned gaze of Charlie.
"Goodbye Lucifer."
It was nice seeing Lilith, she looked good, still beautiful but something was different. He realized that he no longer loved her like he used to because of you. You were the one to pull him from his slump, the depression he felt.
He owed that all to you, he loved you.Lucifer realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and he couldn't help but talk to Lilith about you.
"I am sorry Lilith...I" Lucifer adverted his gaze for a moment.
Lilith let out an airy laugh as she placed her finger tips under his chin so he would meet her gaze."Never apologize for falling in love Lucifer."
Flushing for a moment, Lucifer rubbed the back of his neck. "I can't wait for you to meet them...I actually wanted to get your advice.." he started to stutter, another nervous laugh escaping his lips. "I was going to ask them to-."
Opening her lips, Lilith was about to answer until Charlie took a step forward a frown on her lips.
"Dad....they're gone."
Lucifer's smile vanished from his lips, his arms falling to his side. "Gone...what do you mean?"
Lucifer never expected it to hurt this much, it felt worse than when he and Lilith separated. Leaning his cheek on his palm he let out a small sniffle looking at the small duck he made for you, a little ring wrapped around its neck. "What did I do wrong?" He whispered to himself.
Maybe he was this issue, he had to be....what other reason would you leave him for?
Quickly rubbing a few tears from his eyes, Lucifer let his head rest on the desk, eyes still glued to the duck he made of you. "I miss you."
You never thought that heaven could be so boring, you missed everyone. You missed how easy it was to get along with everyone. Sighing, you dropped your shoulders though hearing your name being called your head quickly turned to the voice.
"Lilith....what the hell are you doing here."
You looked over at the woman, in her hands was a small rubber duck that looked so much like you and around that ducks neck was a small golden ring.
"We need to talk."
Trailing behind the woman, you did your best to keep up with her long stride's. "He still love's me."
Glancing over her shoulders, Lilith's gaze softened for a moment as she stopped in her tracks. Her fingers tucking under your chin. "He wouldn't stop talking about you. It's a shame we never met in Heaven, I would haven taken you for myself." She hummed giving you were a teasing smile. You were too cute, she could see why Lucifer had fallen for you.
You two seemed like you were meant to be.
"I'm sorry...."
"Please don't apologize love...I am happy knowing that Lucifer and Charlie are in such good hands...no come along.... we shouldn't keep him waiting."
Nodding your head you gave Lilith a smile as you two made your way to Lucifer. You will make this right, you will let Lucifer know that you truly loved him.
To you, it felt like ages to arrive at Lucifer's castle. You didn't even get a chance to let the woman speak as you were rushing off into home calling out his name. Though a few months have passed you still remember this place like the back of your hand.
"Lucifer...please."
Your heart stuttering when your gaze landed on the man. The bags under his eyes, puffy, clothes a mess. You hated seeing it, hated knowing that you were the cause of this issue. "Lucifer?"
The man's head snapped up, eyes going wide for a moment. Fresh tears pooling in his eyes as he took a tentative step towards you. "Are you...are you really here? This isn't."
Biting his lip, Lucifer's lips quivered as he quickly rushed to you. His arms tightly wrapping around you, clinging to you. "I'm sorry....I'm so sorry."
Shaking your head, you let your thumb brush away a stray tear off his cheek. "Never apologize Lucifer, it's my fault...I should....I just thought you'd be happier if I left."
Resting his head against yours, he grasped your hand spotting the ring on his finger. His heart swelling with happiness as he held you.
"I am happy with you....I love you."
Sighing, you then pressed your face into his neck letting him hold you. "I love you too."
You won't make this mistake again, you will always stay by Lucifer's side.
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theminecraftbee · 4 months
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"Well hello there Secret Keeper!" Scar says, chipper. "It's a bea-ut-i-ful day today here on the Secret Life server, and I'm here for my daily hearts for winning! I have to say, it is gorgeous today. Really a lot easier to keep the rain away without other players, what with sleeping through the night not being a problem at all! Did you know, by the way, that sleeping and rain are connected? I didn't until recently, but by golly, they sure are! Can you imagine? The world is full of so many strange things."
The Secret Keeper, being a big dumb stone statue, doesn't reply. Scar's beginning to think it's just rude. It sure replies whenever he hits the button, which is the first step in his morning routine these days. He's gotten better at dodging damage, really, even with the nearly infinite hearts! He's just not so good at dodging skeletons and creepers and such that he shouldn't top off every day.
He hits the button. He feels his health return to him. He gets a new task: Win Secret Life.
He snorts, a little bitter, to himself as he reads it and folds it into his pocket. "You know, I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky that you're such a moron that you don't know what winning means. Your machine is broken."
No response, again, because the Secret Keeper is, as established, a big old dumb rock. Well, whatever. Besides, if he lingers on resentment and upset for too long, it might catch up with him! He's certainly let it catch up with him before. Why, a few days after he'd won, when he really had it sink in that he was for-real alone on a server covered in lightning burn marks and blood, he had a bit of a breakdown! There was sobbing, screaming, yelling at the world, the whole works! And when no one responded then, well--
"Did I just call you a moron? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!" Scar says. "You know how I get sometimes. The world is beautiful and warm, but sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe around here! Now, where were we... oh, right! The trading post terraforming project! Now, we hit a bit of a snag the other day, what with the wandering traders I'd caught all sort of--dying--and all that, but luckily, more of them might show up any moment, and they really are vital to making the place feel alive and breathing. So today we're taking a break from that to build up some trees!"
He waves his arms like someone is listening. He'd like to imagine someone is. Grian told him he won--just because all the ghosts are quiet now doesn't mean they aren't there! And if that was a moment of temporary insanity, well, he probably--he needs to think it's not, is the thing! He absolutely needs to think it's not.
He hums and gathers more logs. His makeshift tree farms are pretty nice, if he does say so himself. He pauses as he hears distant howling and sighs. "I guess we will also be spending today cleaning up the wolf population! I swear, I have no idea what those people were thinking making a wolf spawner. A man takes a nap for a day and then the entire server is overrun with stupid white animals! And you know, I do hate having to cull the things, but, well, you know me. I've learned how to kill pretty well, I think, and really, dogs are easier to kill than people."
He grabs a sword from his chest and sharpens it. He keeps it perfectly clean so that there isn't too much blood on it. Good thing, too; most of the blood would probably be his. He's a bit clumsy, after all. He cuts his fingers on it all the time. No matter how well he bandages up his hands, he just keeps making them bleed, drip, drip, dripping blood on every path he walks down. No matter how hard he works to clean up his massive building projects, the little splatters of blood follow him, so he's sticking to dark colors where he can.
The flowers will probably show the blood, he thinks. The flowers and trees he's building. Hopefully, the blood doesn't stand out too much. It feels wrong, in a world where there are no bodies.
He stands up. He heads in the direction of today's pack of unwanted pests. He sighs. "You know, I know your question is, well gosh, Scar! All the previous winners died. When are you going to finish it off and kill yourself? And wow, that's a pretty dark question. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking, really." He laughs. It's not funny. Who cares.
Instead, he shakes his head.
"And, well, you have to understand. I'm not done building yet! I can make my base so much nicer looking! And besides, you're still handing me hearts. If I get hurt, I can just come back and get more from you! If you want to die, you have to kill me yourself. You fucking cowards!"
No response.
He sighs. "Well, that's enough of that for today. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of morose. It's all this sunshine! Can't be good for a man. Did you know populated servers rain more often than unpopulated ones? It's true! It's because people don't sleep enough. But here I am, getting all the sleep I need. Now, time to go kill some dogs and build some trees! I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon, can you?"
His hands hurt. He ignores it. He ignores a lot of hurt, these days. It's not like it's hard.
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cy-cyborg · 2 months
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Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart
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When a character in a story becomes disabled, they'll sometimes experience a trope that I like to call "the disabling change of heart". This is when the character goes through a massive change in their outlook, their personality, their goals or even roll in the story, specifically because they became (or are about to become) physically disabled. Sometimes, this will be in relatively small ways: the happy-go-lucky comedic relief character might become bitter, angry and jaded after getting into an accident that caused a spinal injury, or the severally depressed and nihilistic character might suddenly start acting more cheerful and hopeful, stating that loosing their leg has "put things into perspective and showed them what really matters". In other cases though, the impact is much larger, the heroic character you've been hearing about looses an arm thanks to the main character's actions, causing them to become consumed with anger and self-loathing which they take out on everyone else, eventually becoming an antagonist as they seek revenge for what the main character did to them. The morally grey or even villainous character is injured by their own scheme, giving themselves a permanent disability in the process, which prompts a change of heart and leads them to turn their lives around and become better people, maybe even deciding to team up with the heroes.
Now, having a character go through a personality and goal change due to a major life event, such as becoming physically disabled, isn't inherently bad. A lot of writers are told to tie major shifts in your character's development to major life events, because realistically, something like becoming newly disabled will at least impact how you view the world around you. I very frequently talk about how if I didn't loose my legs, I would have become a vastly different person, but the issues with this trope depends on how it's used and the reasons behind these developments, and whether or not the change suits the character in question.
Before we get into things, I would like to specify that in this post, I'm only going to be talking about how this trope is used with physical disabilities and other easily visible forms of disability. It does show up with characters who develop disabilities under the mentally ill and neurodivergent umbrellas, and is actually a bit more common than what I'm talking about today, but the specific ways its utilised are so different that it's more or less a separate trope, and one that deserves much more attention than I could give it here as this is already going to be a pretty long post. So for today, I'm keeping to it's use with physical and visible disabilities, and we'll talk about how this trope is used with neurodivergence and mental illness another day.
The main thing you need to be mindful of is ensuring that you, as an author, are not including your ingrained biases about disability into the reasoning behind the change. Let's look at one of the examples from before, an evil character who, after loosing their arm (because it's almost always loosing an arm for some reason) becomes a villain and wants revenge against the main character. In a story like this example, the character who became an amputee often views this new disability as something that has ruined their life. It's something that has caused them to suffer, and they want to make the main character (or whoever has "wronged" them) suffer like they did. Stories like this example portray disability as something that is not just horrible, but life-destroying, especially with villains who become all-consumed by the misery this disability has brought them. Many stories that utilise this version of the trope also often perpetuate the idea that if you become disabled, you'll have to give up all the things you love and your goals, even when this wouldn't necessarily be true for the character in question.
Let's say your character was a knight, and the main character cut off their arm in a training accident. obviously you can't be a knight with only one arm because you can't fight anymore, so they left their order. Now this character has become a villain and has found power that "makes up" for their disability, perhaps magic or some other force that doesn't exist in the real world, and are back to get revenge on the character for ruining their lives. Here's the thing though, the loss of a limb, or at least, the loss of an arm specifically, often isn't the career ender people think it is, even back then. In fact, there are many historical records of real amputees continuing to serve as knights and other similar military roles after loosing an arm or at the very least, continuing to fight in other ways. One such example was Götz of the Iron Hand, a mercenary knight who lost his arm to a cannon. Götz had fought as part of the Roman empire's military in 1498, but shortly after left to form his own mercenary company. He lost his hand in 1504 and continued his career as a mercenary with the help of an iron prosthetic capable of holding his sword and the reigns of his horse, among many other things such as writing, for another 40 years. Götz wasn't unique in this though, several suits of armour from the same time period have been found with integrated prosthetic hands, though the names of their owners are unknown. There was also Oruç Reis (aka Aruj Barbarossa), A privateer admiral who served the Ottoman Empire in and around the Mediterranean who lost his left hand - earning him one of many nicknames: Silver-Hand, thanks to the colour of his prosthetic. Oruç, like Götz, continued his career for several more years until he was eventually killed in 1518.
My point in bringing this up, is to highlight how important it is to double check that the reason your character's whole motivation for turning to villainy, isn't just based on your ideas about what a disabled person can or can not do. Actually double check it, research it, especially if it's important for your plot.
Even in the cases where the disability in question actually would stop someone from being able to do something, the incorrect assumptions can still occur and cause issues in different ways. For example, a character in a more modern setting who looses their arm due to an accident the main character was responsible for while serving in the military would be discharged, ruining the character's plan to become a general some day. This absolutely would be devastating for a character like that, and they realistically could struggle to adjust, both in terms of getting used to their disability and finding new goals for their life. They may well feel anger at the main character, however, if you are portraying just living with a disability, in the case of this example, living with an amputation as inherently "suffering" for no other reason than they are disabled, it is still perpetuating those really negative ideas about disability. I've said this a few times in other posts, but villains who are evil or even just antagonists purely because they're disabled or are trying to avoid becoming disabled is a trope all its own and one that is best avoided if you yourself aren't disabled, as even outside of spreading these negative ideas about life with a disability, it's just an overdone and overused trope.
But what about when this trope goes in the other direction? when you have an antagonistic or even just morally grey character who becomes disabled and this is the catalyst that turns them into a good guy?
For the longest time, I knew I usually disliked this version of the trope too, but I couldn't put my finger on why. With disability being the reason someone became a villain, the underlying reason it's there is often able to be boiled down to "I, the writer, think being disabled would be terrible and life like that is inherently suffering, so this character is angry about it," which is obviously an issue (the "inherently suffering" bit, not the anger). However, when a character becomes good due to becoming disabled, the reasoning is usually more along the lines of, "this is a big change in a character's life that has caused them to reconsider and revaluate things" (or at least, that's what I thought). This isn't bad, nor is it necessarily unrealistic. Hell, as I already said, I do consider my disability to be a catalyst that made me into who I am today. I also know plenty of people who, after becoming disabled later in life, did have a big change in how they viewed themselves and the world, and who consider themselves better people since becoming disabled. It's far, far from a universal experience, mind you, but it does happen. So why did this version of the trope still not sit right with me?
Well, I think there's a few reasons for it. The first being that there's a tendency for non-disabled people to think real disabled people are just incapable of evil deeds, both in the sense that they aren't physically capable of doing them (which is bad and not even always true for the reasons we already discussed), but also in the sense that there's this idea that disabled people are, for some reason, inherently more "good" and "innocent" - As if breaking your back or loosing a limb causes all evil and impure thoughts to be purged from the body. This is a result of many folks viewing disabled people as child-like, and thus attributing child-like traits (such as innocence) to them, even subconsciously. This is an incredibly common issue and something disability rights organisations are constantly pushing back against, as this mentality can cause a lot of unnecessary barriers for us. With how often I and many other disabled people are subjected to infantilization, I would be honestly shocked if it wasn't at least partially responsible for people thinking becoming disabled is a good reason to kick off a redemption arc.
This infantilization isn't unique to physically disabled people by the way, in fact it's way, way, more commonly directed at people with intellectual and developmental disabilities - or at least, people are more open about it, but as I already mentioned, how that is reflected in tropes like The Disabling Change of Heart is vastly different and deserves a post of it's own.
That's mostly just speculation on my part though, since that infantilising mindset does show up a lot in media, but not usually as part of this trope specifically.
However, it's not the only reason I wasn't a fan of it. When the disabling change of heart is used to fuel redemption arcs, I think, once again, that the disability itself being credited with causing the change directly is another factor. When this happens, it's usually because "it put things into perspective for me and showed me what really mattered."
This sounds better than our previous example on the surface, but stories that use this logic are often still portraying disability as an inherently bad and tragic thing, something so bad, in fact, that it makes all the other (legitimate) issues they thought were massive before seem so small by comparison. This is a type of inspiration porn: content made to make non-disabled people feel inspired or just better about their own situation. It's the mentality of "well my life is bad, but it could be worse, at least I'm not disabled like that!"
In a fictional story, this might look like an athlete character who dreamed of making it big so they could be famous and get out of poverty. They were a dick to anyone who got in their way but only because they were worried about not being able to make rent if they don't constantly win. One day though, they overworked themselves and got into a car accident on the way home because they were too tired, and now they're in a wheelchair and can no longer walk, which is (supposedly) absolutely tragic and way worse than anything else they were already going through. But they end up becoming a better person because it has put things into perspective for them. Yeah they were struggling to make ends meet, but at least they weren't disabled! Now that they are, they know they shouldn't have cared so much, because money doesn't matter when compared to not being able to walk, right?
As well as portraying disability in a negative light, these kinds of stories dismiss and diminish the other struggles or challenges the character is experiencing, placing the status of "not disabled" above all else.
There's also the fact that, when a lot of real people say their disabilities had positive impacts on their lives, they don't usually mean the disability itself is directly responsible for the change. There's exceptions of course but for myself personally, and most of the people I know who say they are better people because of/since becoming disabled, the disability has been more of a neutral catalyst than the actual cause of positive change. Meaning, it opened the door to allow those changes to happen, but it wasn't the direct cause. For me personally, becoming physically disabled at a young age didn't make me a nice person like people expect, I was still a little judgemental asshole for a lot of my childhood. However, because I was disabled, I had to travel a lot, initially because I needed medical treatment that my local hospital wasn't equip to provide, and later, because I started competing in disability sports. because of both of those things, I met people I never would have otherwise who made me reconsider what I'd been taught on a wide range of subjects, and made me question where those beliefs had come from in the first place. When I say my disability played a part in who I became, it wasn't because my disability itself change me, but it helped me meet people who were positive influences on me and my life. but when creatives make characters who experience arcs like this, they ignore this, again, defaulting to the "this was a bad thing that just put all my other problems into perspective" reasoning.
Some iterations of this trope also use disability as a kind of "karmic punishment" where the disability is portrayed as a rightfully deserved punishment for an evil character's deeds - usually something relating to the disability they acquired but not always. An example might look like an evil tyrant who punishes the rebels they captured by cutting off their hands. Eventually, this catches up with him, maybe the friend or a child of one of the rebels is able to capture the tyrant and cuts his hands off as payback so that he gets a taste of his own medicine, a taste of the suffering he imposed on others. Now facing at least one of the same realities of the people he subjugated, he realises the error of his ways. With some pressure from the main characters, he has a change of heart and surrenders himself, steps down to let someone else take his place, or perhaps he decides to start changing policies to be more in-line with these new morals until some other character usurps him, becoming an even bigger threat than the previous former tyrant.
Once again, stories that use a disability like this are still portraying the disability as an overall inherently bad thing, but there's the added layer at play in this example. The thing is, there are a lot of people in real-life who actually believe disability is a punishment from God. I remember one time when I was over in the US, an older lady came and sat down on the seat beside me on the bus and started asking me about my disability and specifically, how I became disabled. This isn't an unusual interaction, it happens fairly regularly whenever I use public transport, but on this particular day, the conversation suddenly shifted when I told her I became disabled when I was very young. This woman, despite the bus-driver's best efforts to get her to stop, ended up lecturing me for an hour and a half (during which time I couldn't move due to how my wheelchair was held in place) about how my disability was punishment from God for my parent's sins. She then tried to convince me to attend her church, claiming they would be able to heal me. And the thing is, this isn't an uncommon experience.
A lot of disabled people are targeted by cults using this same method: they'll convince people their disabilities are a punishment, make them believe they deserved it, that they just weren't good enough, but don't worry, if you repent and come to our specific church we can heal you. There was even a case in Australia recently that uncovered a cult called Universal Medicine, who taught that disabled people were reincarnations of evil people, and that being disabled in this life was their punishment, as well as that parents who have disabled children were being punished for other sinful behaviours. They were found to be operating a disability care service named Fabic that was being paid for by the NDIS, a subsection of the Australian government funded healthcare system that specifically aids disabled Australians by paying for and subsidising treatments, technologies (such as mobility aids) and other services relating to their disability. Fabic was found to be stealing excessive amounts of funding from their disabled clients under the guise of therapies and carer services, but was not actually helping their clients at all. Whether it's just taking advantage of them to get their money, or actually using this logic as a justification to mistreat them, this mentality of "disability is a punishment" actually gets real disabled people hurt or worse, and so seeing it come up in media, even if there is no ill-intent, can be very distressing and uncomfortable for disabled audiences.
So with all this being said, is the disabling change of heart a trope you should avoid in all it's forms and versions? No, but it does need to be handled with extreme care. I do think it should be avoided as a reason for a character becoming evil for the most part. If that really can't be avoided in your story though, at the very least, ensure that you foreshadow the change. Your happy little ray of sunshine, embodiment of sweetness and innocence type character probably isn't going to turn murderous and want revenge for an accident for example. A character who is likely to be driven to that kind of extreme of wanting revenge for their disability, so much so that they become a villain, probably already had at least a few traits that would predispose them to that line of thinking already, before becoming disabled. As for when it goes in the other direction, and you have a character becoming a good guy, avoid using the reasoning that "the disability put things into perspective for me". Instead, if you must use this version of the trope, use the character's new disability as the reason they encountered other people and situations that challenged their views, things they wouldn't have encountered otherwise. No matter the reason though, be very careful to avoid inspiration porn, and as always, try to find a sensitivity reader to give your story a once-over, just to make sure something didn't slip under your radar.
[Thumbnail ID: An illustrated image showing the same elf character twice. The picture of her on the left shows her laughing evilly, two tiny horns protruding through her brown hair. She is wearing a black dress and red shoes. On the right shows her in a yellow dress, sitting in a bright pink wheelchair with her head held eye and her eyes closed. The horns have been replaced with a glowing halo. In the centre is text that reads: "Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart." /End ID]
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yandere-wishes · 10 months
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ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕔 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖
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Synopsis: You finally realize that you and Miguel are stuck inside a comic book romance. 
Warnings: Yandere themes, angst, the reader has Stockholm syndrome but can we really blame her? 
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There's something about a sleepless night that's lethal. A loaded gun aimed point blank at your head and your heart and your eyes that are too weary to recall the difference between fact and fiction. Right and wrong.
Miguel should be home soon you think as you stare at the Daily Bugle's nightly broadcast. The headlines are the same as last week's villain attack and the week before that, and the week before that. 
'SPIDERMAN REPORTED DEAD AFTER TANGLE WITH NUEVA YORK'S NEWEST VILLAIN!'
 You think this is the 18th time he's died this month. A hologram dances in front of you, some withering reporter adamant in his claim that this time. This time for sure Spiderman is dead. A Harrowing claim, one you know to be false. Your lover isn't so easy to kill, you should know on account of how many times you had tried. Back when you'd painted Miguel O'Hara as the villain in your story, back when you were so obstinate to return to a wholly ignorant life of so-called freedom. 
Miguel can't die, you refuse to believe that a man like that is subject to such a mortal thing. 
You use to try to imagine a Miguel that had grown old. You couldn't back then and still can't today. Because heroes are eternal, or so you've come to believe.  They die a hundred deaths and reawaken younger than before. Heroes aren't immortal -that's the part that makes your heart skip a beat- yet death has never had the chance to lay claim to them. Miguel is fine you're sure of it. 
There's a noise, a disturbance in the wind, the sound of thousands of coiled webs being used to sling across the air.
A sign that Spiderman has arrived.
He's here.
You can't help but smile. 
"What's the old man saying this time?" 
You turn to see Miguel, land at the edge of the rooftop. Legs limb as he staggers towards you. With a defeated moan he sits down. Close enough for you to inspect the galaxy of bruises that dance across his stunning face. 
When did you fall in love with him, again? 
"You're supposed to be dead," you say, a bitter laugh following, the peculiar words.
"I think that's the 14th time the Bugals had a spread on me dying" He chuckles, dry and humorless. 
You bite your tongue to avoid correcting him. 
"Who was it this time? Venom or Flipside?" you ask, trying to guess which of the two had been able to give the Miguel O'Hara a run for his money. 
"Just some kid, from another dimension. Mocoso already screwed up the canon once, and he's damn well trying to do it again. He used Spider Bite to send himself home, so I didn't get the chance to..." He doesn't bother finishing that sentence. Doesn't have to, you've seen worlds collapse upon themselves because a tiny imperfection had distraught the canon. You know why he does this. You know why he must do this. No one is exempt from the canon. No matter how young and naive they may be. 
How peculiar the life of superhumans are. For all the guts and glory every hero's world is only bounded by thin silk strings. Perpetually on the verge of collapse should the chosen one refuse to follow destiny's orders. 
Heroes aren't pretty, they neither sparkle nor shine. Instead, they burn with a self-lit fire that grows out of control, burning until only ashes remain. Heroes are tragedies swung across every dimension. War-torn children with blood under their fingernails and chipped teeth from one too many close calls. Heroes aren't pretty, nor beautiful, nor divine. They're mangled creatures who come alive at night, staggering across half-lit streets doing what they believe is right. 
You've tried to commit this to memory. Tried to memorize it so you wouldn't make the same mistakes as every lovesick idiot who's fallen in love with a superhero. 
But sometimes it's so hard to remember, especially when Miguel has been your only companion for months now. The only person you have to talk to. The only person who is there in the early hours of the morning when even sleep abandons you. And he's always there again at night to tuck you in before he departs to fight whoever has broken the few simple rules that the canon calls for. You've almost come to appreciate his paranoia and insistence that you stayed locked inside the penthouse. Although he's grown a bit bolder as of late. Permitting you free range of the terrace and rooftop. A sign of good faith, he'd called. Whilst you'd presume that he's come to enjoy you waiting outside to greet him when he returns from the miseries of being a golden boy. 
"I try to save everyone, I try to make sure the universe is held upright. So why the hell does everyone always treat me like I'm the villain?" His voice is raising, fangs glowing in loose rays of starlight. His hands are crossed in annoyance. You rest your hand on his arm as you snuggle closer.
Heroes and villains, what's the difference? 
That's a question the two of you have been pondering for too long now. 
Even though you doubt  Miguel truly knows who he is. It's hard to fall into the orderly boxes of 'good' and 'bad' when the fate of every universe lies on your already brittle shoulders. 
He's a hero who acts like a villain. That's what you use to call him. Back when he'd first plucked you away from your ordinary mundane life.Deeming the world too dangerous for a defenseless little civilian such as yourself. He had promised to love you, to cherish you. Back when you'd been so resistant to play the role of the hero's lover. But seeing as how no matter what nightmares he went through as Spiderman, he had still kept those two promises. You had slowly started to grow fond of him
Time and time again Miguel has made you feel like a butterfly caught in a spider's web. Wings clipped and waiting for the inevitable. He's overbearing to the point where his sheer presence feels like a boulder placed on your chest. Or maybe his strings have finally found their way to your heart, coiling around the organ controlling its every beat and pulse. Yet somehow, somehow, you started to desire more and more of him.
You're in love with the hero who plays the villain. 
You're in love with the villain who bares a hero's mask. 
"You should be more careful when dealing with the other spiders. I hear they're not all as precautious as you." Your fingers trace the purpling marks on his cheek.  Sliding from one universe to another. 
You know Miguel isn't a tiny spider he's a bloodthirsty tarantula. Yet you still worry. Fear that one day he may fail to return home. 
"You shouldn't worry about me preciosa,"
"Someone has to, Miguel, you're not as indestructible as you may think."
"If I kiss you will you stop complaining?"
There's no room to answer, his lips rest on yours, forceful and sweet. Captivating, dominating, and as always overbearing. His fangs slowly sink into the back of your lips. That familiar iron taste invades your mouth once again. 
Sometimes Miguel feels like a hero, shouldering the universe's burdens, and fighting for what's right. After all, with great power comes great responsibility. This is what he wanted, he always wanted to be the hero.
But sometimes when the spider's lair is abandoned and he returns home to you, he can't help but feel like the villain. He's protecting you he knows that. Justifying it is easy when you watch dimensions wither away in violent glitching and endless screams, daily. Yet he wonders if his predecessors were ever like this. If the heroes are supposed to keep their lovers locked away. Alone yet safe. A fair trade in his mind. 
Miguel isn't quite human, half-everlasting and half-horror. 
A dangerous combination
Or at least a confusing one. 
The point is he's some sort of hero. But that also means he's some sort of villain. Even the old tales got things wrong, not every superhero is carved from porcelain and ivory. Not every villain is built from ash and rage.  
Sometimes heroes are carved from gravestone granite and glazed with poison. Sometimes their powers are self-inflicted curses that chew away at flesh and bone. sometimes the hero's halo is made of barbed wire digging into his scalp and embittering his thoughts. Sometimes heroes kill themselves before any villain gets the chance. Spitling their body apart a million times a day because destiny decided to play a cruel joke on them. Picking the weakest of all mankind to become its guardian. 
When he pulls away from the kiss, he lifts your hand to his mouth. 
His fangs sink into your finger puncturing bone as he gnaws the stress away. Blood leaks down his chin, spilling over the rooftop. He pulls your body closer. An anchor in a never-ending storm. 
You kiss his chin, looking into his eyes. Eyes that can never choose whether they wish to be human or monster. Your head instinctively finds his chest nestling into the cold metal of his suit. 
Oh, how you wish you could crack his rib cage open and crawl inside. 
Sometimes you think back to the original tales. The ones from your dimension, albeit it seems that -regardless of a few rare exceptions- the stories are consistent in every universe.  
The story always goes the same. Peter Parker falls in love with MJ or Gwen, you've come to learn that in the long run, it doesn't really matter. Spiderman saves them again and again. Until the whole world knows that Mj or Gwen are somehow connected to the masked hero. But never once does she leave his side. Rebellious blond or dotting redhead, Spiderman's lover stays regardless of how desperate and vicious the villains become when they start to learn that the story always ends in the hero's favor. 
It's every gal's dream to be the lover of a superhero. Awaiting their betrothed's triumphant return. Greeting them with amorous tidings and cherry red kisses. 
You think you're Gwen or Mary Jane. Or whoever else decided to fall in love with the troubled boy who has radioactivity coursing through his veins. The boy who was deemed a hero and thus was destroyed because of it.
Of course, there's the other part. The underlying message of the story, that parents all so conveniently 'forget' to tell their children. The disease of the otherwise perfect tale. They forget to tell you that Gwen Stacy fell to her death and Mary Jane is left abandoned, once the hero realizes that his mere presence is a curse. Stories may end in the hero's favor but much like the villain the lover is also doomed by the narrative. That's normal for any hero's lover. They always burn out to cater to the hero's ever-fuming torch of justice.
you feel broken, as you're sure they did too. An unspoken rule of being with a hero is that eventually, you start to lose your sense of self without them. It doesn't make sense when you put it like that but along the way bits and piece of you broke off. Pieces that you forgot to patch up. You've been mending by using segments of Miguel to make yourself feel whole again. It's a small miracle that you still hold a fading memory of whom you used to be before he made you his. A miracle that sweeps through the cracks of your soul. 
Heroes never need to fear death, just an eternity of pain. Losing everyone they love, over and over again. Maybe that's why Miguel's grip is so suffocatingly tight. He knows that eventually, not today and maybe not tomorrow but eventually he's going to lose you too. 
You're a comic book Juliet and he's Romeo with superpowers. Everyone knows that comic book heroes are doomed from the start. Neither you nor Miguel are exceptions. 
Maybe the two of you are doomed by the narrative.
But for tonight, as the moon slowly sinks behind the skyscrapers and the stars fade one by one. The two of you are safe in each other's arms. 
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worldseer · 17 days
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Unpopular JJK opinion.
If I die in flames for this, I may as well die standing. Fanon Toji is just wrong. Like- that's not him.
Walk with me-
First and foremost to remind y'all:
Toji was abused for much of his life growing up, and likely never recovered from that
Mamaguro is the first and only woman he loved, the one who changed him and made him better. His habit afterwards and likely before was to just go from rich woman to rich woman to get money. It's unsaid if he had relationships with them, but it's more likely he just did jobs for them in between assignments.
He has a gambling addiction, likely because it gave him a sense of choice and control over things in his life. He wanted to feel like he could win at something, if not at being loved and revered by the Zenins. He is not addicted to money itself, or frugal about things.
While not THE BEST father, he only wanted to have Megumi given to the Zenin Clan because he believed he would be treated better and thrive there. Living in luxury and adored for your cursed technique is better than living with a non-sorcerer who struggles to keep money. Hell Megumi is NAMED Megumi because he's a blessing.
Now that that is out of the way, here is the unpopular opinion part. TOJI IS NOT THE LOVER YOU ALL WRITE HIM TO BE! HE'S NOT SOME KINKY DADDY WHO WILL DEGRADE AND BULLY YOU OR STEAL YOUR MONEY. And now I will explain why- 1. By example of Mamaguro, Toji notably softened and let go of bad habits. Yes, including his assassin job and gambling (so no worries about him stealing money). If in fanfic we're writing that he loves you, then yeah, he's gonna be a sarcastic sweetheart. Probably teases you a lot, but still cares and makes effort to show it.
2. As a man who worked a job as a literal assassin, I highly doubt he would want to ever be rough in intimate settings. He wants to keep the violent sides of himself as FAR AS POSSIBLE away from those he loves. So no rough kinky stuff, sorry. He's not gonna consistently degrade you or leave rough marks and bruises from grabbing and tossing you around in bed. He wants you safe, and not to see the man he was before.
3. As a man who was abused, he will likely be polarizing at times. Sometimes he avoids touch, and other times he's all over you asking for attention. He will want comfort, care, and gentle touches. Like the biggest lap dog you've ever seen. Please just compliment him, kiss him and hold him, he needs the reassurance. Or give him his space, and let him be but don't forget to offer something to cheer him up (like meat and offal).
4. He can be VERY bitter, but not overly angry. We know he still has a deep grudge against the Zenin clan and jujutsu society as a whole. It wouldn't be uncommon to see him possibly seething and stewing in silence, or hold more grudges. That being said, they likely wouldn't be held against you (if he loves you). He's cool and level-headed, and rarely lets emotion get the better of him (save for combat).
Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I care too much about characters.
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lovebugism · 4 months
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punchy x steve with "Why aren't we making out yet? We're 5 minutes into an argument, 5 minutes! Goodness."
thank u for requesting! :D — steve gets angry with you sometimes, but he'll never turn down an opportunity to kiss you (punchy/steve universe, angst-ish, mostly fluff, 0.8k)
blurbcember ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
He’s so cute.
Yeah, he’s mad at you and everything, but you can’t get over how adorable he looks.
His scruffy jaw is clenched tight, and there’s a subtle furrow between his bushy brows, and his pink lips are gently pouted. His honey eyes are twinkling too — with anger, maybe, but they’re twinkling at you nonetheless.
With his sweatshirt pushed up to his elbows and his hands on his hips, how are you supposed to do anything but melt for him?
“Okay, Steve,” you huff, interjecting his longwinded rant. You cross your arms over your chest and sink further into the couch while he paces ahead of you. “I know you’re pissed at me, but—”
“Oh, that doesn’t even start to describe it,” he scoffs. His laugh verges on bitter.
“I know that.”
“I mean— I have no words.”
“Is that why you haven’t stopped bitching at me since we got home?”
He stops his pacing to gape at you. “Bitching at you?” he repeats with an incredulous gape on his pretty face. “Seriously? That’s what you think this is?”
You sigh at yourself and drop your head to the back of the couch. You don’t know how to stop saying the wrong thing. You just want him to be upset with you and be done with it, ‘cause if he doesn’t kiss you stupid soon, you’re scared you might die.
“I didn’t do anything wrong— I don’t know what you want from me!”
His brows pinch together. His pretty face swirls with hurt. 
You shrink under the suffocating weight of his obvious heartache. 
“This stuff is really important to me, babe,” Steve tells you softly, voice light and nearly breaking. “And it’s like you’re just shitting all over it.”
“Well, I’m sorry I don’t wanna spend my Friday night with everyone who bullied me in high school.”
“Oh, don’t play that card,” he scoffs bitterly. 
You feel the weight of his words in your chest. Like he’s taken your heart between his fingers and squeezed all the life out of it. You try not to let it hurt you. His insensitivity isn’t your fault. 
“This isn’t about them, alright? It’s a big deal for me, but you’re deciding your pride is more important.”
You huff like a dramatic teenager.
Steve laughs in response, but there’s little emotion behind it. “What? Am I annoying you now?”
“Can you just kiss me?” you blurt before you mean to.
He falters. Your plea comes out of left field, makes him forget to be angry at you for a blink of a second. “...What?”
“You can keep yelling at me after, I promise. I just wanna kiss,” you confess, features soft and squishy around the edges — filled with adoration. Your eyes sparkle when they blink up at him, with the hope that he might give in and give you the loving you need.
Steve still wants to be mad at you. He’s too stubborn for anything else. You make it real hard, but he tries to be proud about it anyway. “Why?” he presses and crosses two golden arms over his chest.
“‘Cause we’ve been arguing for five whole minutes, and we aren’t making it out yet,” you answer, voice as soft and sheepish as a child’s. You pick at the fuzz of your sweater and try hard to meet his gaze. “I think it’s gotta be some kinda record at this point.”
Steve doesn’t know how to do anything but be obsessed with you. From the arches of your eyelids, to the base of your neck, to the pudge of your tummy, to the chipped polish on your toes. Your beauty bewitches him. Surely, you must be some kind of witch.
“You’re lucky you’re cute, you know that?”
You beam up at him, smiling so hard that it makes it hard to kiss him back. He leans down and props his weight on two hands along the back of the couch, one on either side of you. You tilt your head back in wait for his mouth. 
Steve gives you one fleeting peck — a subtle smacking of his lips to yours that he plans to tease you with after. He’ll pull back, and you’ll pout about it. “One more, Stevie, pleaseee?” you’ll drag out in that pretty voice of yours. And he’ll give you one, but only after hearing you beg a little bit more.
He ends up being the needier one, which maybe shouldn’t surprise him. One peck quickly turns into another. Then a third, lingering and languid thing after he hopelessly melts into you.
You’re the one that ultimately pulls back, lips shining and obviously well-kissed. His knees shake when you smile at him. “Okay. You can go back to being mad at me now.”
Steve shakes his head immediately. 
His tongue darts out to swipe along his rosy bottom lip. His eyes dart from your glimmering gaze to your rose-petaled mouth. “I can be mad at you later,” he insists, the warm breath of his softly spoken words brushing your chin. “Now, I just wanna kiss the life outta you.”
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bountycancelled · 4 months
Text
something more than friends
(lucy gray baird x reader)
tip me on kofi if you feel so inclined
requested: yep, I hope you like it anon♡
content: a little bit of angst but mainly fluff, men (derogatory), kinda lovesick!lucy gray, jealous lucy gray (we love to see it), pretty intense description of kissing but no smut.
warnings: a very brief mention of drinking, internalised homophobia but it doesn't last long, gay stuff (duh), lowercase intended I know boo I'm annoying.
a/n: I haven't read the book yet so idk much about the covey so their appearance may ooc but that's solely due to my lack of knowledge on them
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lucy gray baird never faltered when she sang.
there were very few things that could get under her skin when she was on that stage, strumming her guitar and twirling in her skirt as the district folk stomped along to the beat.
sure, sometimes drunkards and the occasional hung up ex would try to cause a scene, attempting to gain her attention from below, but she would simply roll her eyes, waiting for someone to take care of them so that she could go back to doing what she did best. performing.
so what exactly had happened to make the lucy gray baird, forget a line in a song?
she was quick to remedy her mistake, carrying the tune in such a way that most patrons didn't even notice her mess up. but ironically enough, the very cause of her brain fog noticed. you.
you gave her a worried look, but she brushed it off, willing herself to continue playing as if nothing was wrong. and technically, nothing was wrong. you were there, in the far back of the crowd, wearing a white dress with a drink in your hand. and Lucy Gray didn't mean to be cliché, but you really did look like an angel, something divine that she had the honour of setting her eyes on.
but obviously, she wasn't the only one who thought that.
you were speaking to some man. which was fine, you were always the most gorgeous girl in the room in her eyes and she knew that she wasn't the only one who appreciated your beauty, you were always needing to awkwardly laugh at men's advances and brush them off as best as you could, but you weren't doing that tonight.
you were laughing, a genuine laugh, leaning in to hear his voice over the music, over her singing. she wanted to jump off of the stage and break her guitar over that assholes face, and she couldn't explain why.
she had always known that one day, you'd settle down with a kind man who cared for you (not nearly as much as she did, but that was okay) and then she would see you less and less. but knowing didn't make the taste in her mouth any more bitter.
the first time you told her about a crush that you had, on a boy named Tom, she spent the whole night convincing you that he just wasn't right for you. you believed her of course, rejecting him swiftly the next week when he asked you to go on a walk with him, walking instead with lucy gray, hand in hand.
but then, she did it every time you spoke about a boy, and you started to believe her less and less. 'I think you're just jealous lucy gray, and you don't anybody taking my attention away from you.'
you were right, she was jealous, and the thought of you, with a man, it disgusted her to her core. which is why she took off as soon as her set ended, not even staying for the applause as she searched for you outside.
there you were, and thankfully, you were alone, no undeserving man in sight.
she ran up to you, her brown eyes seemingly sparkling even in the darkened night. "how'd you enjoy the show, darlin'?"
her heart jumped when you smiled at her, your eyes crinkling in joy as you took both of her hand in yours, squeezing them affectionately. "you have the voice of an angel, lucy gray. and I envy the lucky fella who's gonna marry you, and have to serenade them whenever they want."
lucy gray rolled her eyes in a good natured fashion, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach when you mentioned her getting married. "I already serenade you, sweet thing. and im not gonna let some wedding band stop me."
you laughed airily, leading her by the hand towards the lake, where you spent most nights together. you sat down at the edge, laying your head in her lap when she sat beside you. her hand went to your hair, and she fought the urge to by giddy at the sight of your head in her lap, you were just... perfect.
"who was that guy that you were talking to back then? when I was singing, I mean." she asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.
you thought back to about an hour prior, picturing every person that you had been with throughout the evening as you tried to recall who she was asking about in particular. "oh! that was matthew, his dad and my dad go way back, but the two of us never really shared their closeness for whatever reason. but after speaking to him tonight I'm a bit upset that I never tried to grow a friendship with him earlier."
she nodded, her cherry glossed lips pressing into a thin line. "he doesn't just wanna be friends with you though, I could see it." you scoffed playfully, raising a brow at her curiously. "you were all the way up on stage, in the middle of your favourite song to perform, and somehow, you could tell that much from so far away?"
she opened her mouth to defend herself, but after realising just how insane the notion sounded when you phrased it in that way, she quickly closed it again. "I'm not gonna let any man take me away from you, lucy gray, believe me when I say that I can't live without you."
your words sent a fury of butterflies in her stomach, and she swore that felt dizzy as you picked your head up, moving your face so close to hers that your noses were almost touching. she wanted to kiss you. god, what the hell was wrong with her? how could she be thinking of you in this way?
despite her inner conflict, she made no moves to create some distance between your faces, selfishly wanting to stay like this for as long as you'd let her. "I wish we could get married." she sighed, her eyes widening at her own words. "I meant- not like, I didn't mean- not in, like, a husband and wife typa way-"
you cut her off with trying to, with a tilt of your head making her suck in a sharp breath. "you don't wanna do husband and wife things with me?" you asked, and she could swear that your voice had a certain tone about it, one that made her cheeks feel blazing and her breaths shallow.
she shook her head, her usually fierce tone reduced to a meek almost whisper. "we can't do those stuff together."
you were too close for comfort. she could feel the tip of your nose against hers and if you leaned in any further, she was sure that she would combust. "who cares if we can't? the more important question is, do you want to?"
inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. she had forgotten how to breath. this wasn't right, she knew that, so why were her lips on yours in a flash, her hands in your hair, around your waist, holding your hands, touching any part of you that she could reach as the two of you kissed? in public, no less?
she couldn't find it in her mind to stop, not when your soft, sweet lips moved in tandem with hers as if you were molded to fit each other. when you pulled away, with lucy gray chasing your lips with an involuntary whine, you held her by the shoulders, a look of concern on your face.
that was when she felt it. the guilt knawing at her stomach, and the tears thar flowed down her face. was she crying because of how overwhelming her feelings were for you? maybe it was because she knew that you would have to hide... whatever had just happened between the two of you.
you leaned your forehead against hers, you sweet voice easing her fear. "I love you." she nodded, not being able to say it back just yet, but she could only hope that you knew. she moved to kiss you again, being startled out of her mind by a girlish scream in the distance.
it was maude ivory, eyes wide and hand slapped over her mouth in shock, with an equally suprised tam amber standing next to her. lucy gray felt sick to her stomach.
"I knew it." tam Amber said with a shrug, moving to sit next to the two fo you as she stared out at the moonlit lake. "no one looks at their friend like how lucy gray looks at you."
"can I be the flower girl? and the maid of honour? and the priest?" maude ivory rambled, laying half in lucy grays lap and half in yours. you simply laughed, explaining that her dream wasn't exactly possible but flower girl was certainly doable as lucy gray watched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes once again. only this time, they were of relief.
the joy she felt in her chest, at the thought that you could be... together in front of the covey was the best gift she could possibly be given. you and her, together. not just as best friends. although it was hard to wrap her head around it, she knew that it was exactly what she wanted and she had it on good authority that you wanted it too.
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timhalamet · 2 months
Note
I saw laurie Lawrence and i got so excited (i see no fics of him even though he’s like the perfect man even if he sucks sometimes.) i’m excited to see your writings <3
the way things go
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pairings- laurie laurence x fem!reader
summary- after over hearing laurie propose to your sister Jo, heartbroken you decide to leave to paris
warnings- angst, not proofread nothing else
'would you do me the greatest honour of making me your husband.'
Laurie's words seemed to replay and echo in the dull hollow walls of your mind. Your heart ached as tears dripped down your face . You were going to tell Laurie you loved him. You thought he loved you.
It was obvious now that you were wrong.
With a hand clamped over your mouth, you muffled the sob threatening to break out from your throat.
What made it worse was that he hadn't proposed to anyone else.
He proposed to Jo.
Anger simmed through you, overtaking the flow of your pain. You had asked Jo if something between her and Laurie had been going on and everytime she replied with 'don't be silly! Laurie's like my brother!' or 'laurie!? What possibly could make you think that!?' and brushed it off with furrowed brows and a disgusted frown.
But that didn't match up with what you had just witnessed.
Through the slightly ajar door, you walked down the hallway of lauries and his grandfather's house, hoping to speak to him only to be met with the sight of Laurie on one knee facing Jo, with a small velvet box holding one of the most gorgeous ring you have ever seen.
'would you do me the greatest honour of make me your husband.'
You held back your sob and flew down the stairs not caring if either of Jo or Laurie heard you.
You ran. Ran till you were in your bedroom, without a second thought, stuffing the rest of your precious belongings into your suitcase, filling it to the brim.
You looked around at your room savouring every inch before hauling your suitcase and down the stairs.
'you're already leaving so early?'
Marmees soft gentle voice called out from behind you, and you sighed turning around to face.
'should I get laurie to help you?'
A weak smile formed on your face, but you knew it was no use. Marmee could see right through anyone.
'no it's alright..I wouldn't want to bother him' your words came out more bitter than you intended to.
Soon without telling Meg, Jo, Beth, or Amy, you walked out of the door.
And to Paris.
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'would you do me the greatest honour of make me your husband.'
Laurie knelt on knee holding the velvet box to Jo.
Jo squealed and grabbed Laurie up, wrapping her arms around his neck.
'its perfect! It's time, we need to go tell the others!'
'wait I need to look presentable' Laurie joked before dusting his clothes off and fixing the rough state of his hair.
The pair soon went to Lauries grandfather and told him the news.
He was ecstatic.
They spent an hour with lauries grandfather, before trampling through the thick mount of snow to tell marmee and the girls.
'is she here?', Laurie asked marmee.
Marmee sadly smiled, 'shes already left to the train station'
Laurie felt his heart drop to his stomach.
'what?'
'shes already left to Paris, if you're lucky the train might not have departed yet due to the snow storm.'
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You sat on one of the benches at the train station, the bell jar in your hand, as you read impatiently waiting for your train to arrive.
Soon the call of your train was made.
You grabbed your suitcase and bag, holding the book with our arm.
As you began to struggle as you attempted to haul your suitcase and bag on the train, you felt arms grab your suitcase and a familiar voice.
'wait!'
You turned around to see Laurie, his hair sticking in all directions, and his face flushed from the snow.
He grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the train.
'what were you thinking? You were just going to leave? Without telling the girls? Without telling me?' his voice was strained and raspy as if he had been screaming.
'laurie I don't have time for this- the train its leaving!' you harshly ripped yourself from Laurie's grip, attempting to chase the train down as it slowly departed, only to be in his hold again.
He held you against his chest.
'youre not leaving. You cant-why?'
You struggled to find your words.
You looked at him million answers as to why. Why? 'why? Really Laurie why? You know exactly why!' you held a finger to him accusingly as you jabbed him in the chest 'you- what happened to us? We were so close. I love you Laurie. That's 'why?'.' Laurie's jaw dropped as you continued. 'i love you and I thought...' your voice trailed off as you swallowed the lump in your throat frustrated. 'i thought you loved me to. And I went. I went to tell you but you already proposed, I was too late. You love her.' your voice dropped with jealousy and anguish.
'what?' Laurie asked his brows furrowed as he bit the inside of his cheek 'who are you taking about? I love you. Only you.'
You were confused. But didn't he propose to Jo? 'laurie I saw you... I saw..but you proposed to jo.'
Lauries faced changed. His eyes widened as his mouth slowly formed into a grin before he started laughing.
'laurie it's not funny!' you exclaim, yet also finding yourself trying to hide your smile, pushing him away playfully.
Laurie grabbed your hands, enlacing his fingers with yours.
'god, i was practicing to propose.' he chuckled ' I was practicing to propose. To you.'
'oh.' was all that left your mouth but it was nothing compared to the whirlwind of emotions in your stomach.
'so what do you say? Will you be my wife?' he asked grinning as his hands revealed a small velvet box holding the same gorgeous diamond ring.
'yes!' you beamed at him, your cheeks flushed as he slid the ring on your finger.
As laurie quickly embraced you, his chin on your head as you wrapped your arms around your torso, Laurie chuckled,
'i can't believe that after all that practicing this is the propsosal.'
'well I guess that's just the way things go.'
a/n I hate this so much but idk if it's just me 😭 I hope it's okay for you guys!
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