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#like i go extremely emotional right off the bat when i think someone has ghosted or forgotten me
lepetitcomte · 3 years
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If somebody ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again. Im sorry your jail friend did that to you.
Oh, thank you for your concern anon, but it's really not that serious!! 💕 I know tone doesn't carry well over the internet and I swear a lot especially when talking about my boys but I'm not actually pissed or hurt just mildly miffed!! And I can pretty much promise you this wasn't a case of him intentionally or maliciously ghosting me!!! He's 100% not the kind of guy who would go out of his way to text everyone in his life or even make a formal social media announcement about something like this, it's really completely on brand for him to just post an innocuous Snapstory of him jamming in his car with a Baby Yoda doll in his lap!... I just don't check Snapchat often so the fact that I saw it at all was very uncommonly serendipitous, so the idea that I might have missed it is... Phew. But I've been texting his girl so I know he's actually just. At Walmart right now and I'm really insanely happy about it because he's out!! Can't wait to call him a fucking bastard directly, get his "I'm sorry Ma'am 🥺" tail-between-his-legs-apology, and then exchange our first "love you"s since February 🤗 💕
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theadventurousdork · 3 years
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Dani Clayton and Jamie Taylor: A scene by scene study on the dynamism of a queer romance
by theadventurousdork
Well, here we are! An unnecessarily long essay breaking down Dani and Jamie’s scenes together that I decided to write purely for the fact that they have taken a hold of my queer little heart and haven’t given it back yet. Grab some awful tea or coffee and take a read, if you’d like! 
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Episode One
In this episode, we see Dani and Jamie meet for the very first time. This is the beginning of them and their story. It all starts in the kitchen of Bly Manor where a dirt covered Jamie walks in just in time for the residents of Bly to gather for an afternoon lunch.
“The gardener didn’t even introduce herself to the new au pair. She barely acknowledged her at all. Simply treated her as if she’d always been there. The others in the room just assumed they’d already met, which, if she were honest, was how the au pair felt when she first saw the young woman.”
Jamie walks in without even batting an eye to the new guest meanwhile, we see a soft eyed Dani looking over at the gardener with a gaze that gives the audience the first look to the gravitational pull that seems to be set between them. With Dani explaining her belief that she has seen someone on the parapet of the old wing, Jamie’s reaction is cold. She looks down at the table with a hardened look. She looks almost hurt. We learn later on that Jamie was the first adult resident of Bly to find the dead body of Rebecca Jessel floating in the lake of the manor which has probably resulted in trauma for Jamie as she remembers her late friend. With Owen and Hannah also finding the possibility of someone being on the balcony to be slim, the residents carry on with their meal. As the introduction to Jamie’s character, we are able to see her cold and guarded exterior. However, we also see her wit and humor as she comfortably pokes fun at Miles and Flora. The space she takes when she walks into a room isn’t empty for she fills it with her bold personality and Dani immediately takes notice of this yet she doesn’t show any hint of openly acknowledging it. 
Episode Two
Episode two sheds a different light on the pairing. This episode gives us the first look at Dani’s trauma and the weight that she’s feeling on her conscience. But first, we see her changing the tide at Bly as she puts Miles and Flora to work in the garden as punishment for locking her in a closet. As Dani and the children pull weeds, a relaxed Hannah and Jamie watch from a distance just as Owen offers them drinks. As the trio sip on their gin and tea, they discuss Dani and how her presence is a nice addition to the grounds of Bly. This is where something I call “testing of the waters: part one” occurs. Jamie asks Owen if he thinks that Dani’s pretty before continuing to poke fun at his inability to answer. Now this seems rude, especially considering Hannah’s negative reaction to it even going as far as to remind her that romances don’t fare well at Bly. However, I feel like Jamie does this purposefully to see if Owen would provide any reaction that would indicate that he would have any intent of pursuing Dani, which he quickly shuts down as he states that he only has eyes for Hannah. Jamie’s choice to do this can boil down to a simple poking of fun or maybe something more in terms of her trying to understand, and maybe even deny, the gravitational pull that she’s feeling towards Dani by deflecting it to Owen. 
This episode also offers the first glimpse into Jamie’s humanity and her deeply empathetic nature. As a distressed Dani storms outside in tears after being triggered from seeing her dead ex-fiancé’s glasses, our favorite gardener comes to the rescue with buckets in hand. Now this is probably the first time that Dani has physically seen Edmund’s glasses since she packed them away before leaving Bly which can explain her intense reaction to finding Flora wearing them. The part to highlight about this interaction between Jamie and Dani isn’t the fact that Jamie tries to console her but is the way that she does so. First and foremost, the gardener tries to make au pair laugh. She makes multiple attempts in her dialogue to make Dani crack the slightest smile. Jamie’s dialogue saying, “there we are,” after Dani finally gives into the attempted jokes shows how laughter was Jamie’s initial goal. 
“How else do you think I keep all these fucking plants watered? With my endless well of deep inconsolable tears. That’s how. It’s what got me the job in the first place.” 
After she accomplishes this, she goes on to relate to Dani by telling her that she cries several times a day in an effort to make Dani feel normal and not alone in her vulnerable state. To see someone as cold and guarded as Jamie admit to something like this quickly humanizes her and puts her in the position of becoming a dynamic character. Finally, Jamie tells the au pair that she’s doing a great job and leaves a smiling Dani to watch her as she leaves. This offers insight to how Jamie doesn’t like seeing people in distress. She radiates a grounding energy and puts it upon herself to ensure that no one feels like they’re in over their head. 
Dani is able to return the favor as she finds an angry Jamie kneeled over a massacre of her rose bushes. Jamie’s hotheaded attitude is shown as she wastes no time getting up to confront Miles for cutting her roses before they were ready. The point to highlight in this moment is that Dani hears her out. Dani listens to Jamie’s grievances and not once tells her that she’s overreacting. Dani hasn’t known Jamie for long but she knows the importance of plants to the gardener and she doesn’t give Miles a pass at ruining something that matters so much to her. Having two separate scenes showing that each half of the pair have the power to talk each other down regardless of having known each other long, serves as a taste as what’s to come for their journey together. 
Episode Three
Here we see “testing of the waters: part two” as the keepers of Bly watch over a sleeping Miles and Flora by a crackling fireplace. A tired Hannah rests her head on Owen’s shoulder as Dani and Jamie watch from across the room. Jamie goes onto ask Dani if she wishes she were leaning on Owen instead of Hannah and explains how every woman in town fawns over Owen without him even knowing it. This key moment goes hand in hand with Jamie’s testing of the waters in episode 2 when she tests Owen’s potential attraction to Dani to now testing to see if Dani would be interested in Owen. Jamie’s subtle comments allow her to see the odds of Dani liking Owen without risking any awkward interaction that would potentially be too invasive. With Owen being the only man in the house, it’s understandable for Jamie to want to see if Dani would pursue him which in turn would signal that Dani may not be interested in someone like her.
What comes next is what I like to believe is the moment that Jamie begins to fall for Dani and I mean really fall for her. The conversation about love and possession is beautifully done and sets the distinction that will go onto separate Peter and Rebecca from Dani and Jamie. After a vindictive history lesson on the toxicity of Peter and Rebecca’s relationship, Jamie mentions the idea of loving someone versus possessing someone to which Dani replies that she doesn’t believe should be possible. The effect of this is seen on Jamie’s face as she looks at Dani. It’s a face that says that she’s staring at someone who understands. Understands the fragility of love and the thin lines that separate healthy versions of love from toxic ones. It happens in the span of a second but we can see a switch click in Jamie’s mind just before she breaks her gaze. From what we collect of Jamie’s past a few episodes later, we come to understand that she has always been owned. Stemming from a broken home and growing up in the foster care system, Jamie has always been someone else’s possession to claim ownership of but never was truly loved and nurtured. To hear someone finally understand that there’s a distinction between loving someone versus feeling like they have the right of possessing them, must feel like a moment of overdue comfort. 
After a restless night due to seeing Edmund’s ghost again, Dani wakes up the following morning to see Jamie asleep on the couch. This scene lasts merely thirty seconds so why make the choice to keep it in? What significance does it really hold? Is there any significance at all? For me, the significance is comfort. I feel like there’s a level of comfort that Dani feels when she realizes that Jamie was just down the stairs as she laid awake the night prior feeling as if she were alone in the depths of her own shadows. 
The new day ends in the tragic news that Owen’s mom has passed away. After a sympathetic Hannah sends Owen off and leaves to light a candle for the deceased, the gardener and au pair are left to give their own goodbyes to each other. As Dani voices that she’s glad that Jamie stayed on the grounds throughout the day and the night prior, Jamie agrees and the two share an uninterrupted gaze at one another. Here is where we see Dani’s first advance as she takes hold of Jamie’s hand. Ever so slightly does Jamie latch back before Dani quickly pulls away. 
“Who the hell knew?”
Those words leave Jamie’s mouth as a mixture of relief and shock paint her face as she gets into her car. Dani watches her drive away with an expression that reads “did I really do what I think I just did?” This moment is cut short as she turns around to see Edmund’s ghost staring blankly from behind her. Fear overcomes Dani and a scream is let out as Edmund gets sucked backwards by an invisible force. Up until this point, Edmund’s ghost has remained stagnant, either appearing in a reflection or in parts. This extreme motion of getting pulled backward into the manor can be read as a way to reflect the intensity of the emotions that Dani is feeling in that exact moment. The amount of tension that Dani must have felt to muster up the courage to reach for Jamie’s hand must have been extremely intense which in turn would evoke an intense manifestation of Edmund’s ghost. 
Episode Four 
Episode four is what I call the episode of guilt. In this hour, we delve deeper into Dani’s past and the darkness that she’s been holding in her heart. Dani’s life just before Bly is revealed and we see snippets of her life with Edmund. From childhood best friends to teenage lovers to getting engaged, Dani and Edmund almost seemed like the perfect set up to an 80s romcom. Almost is the key word here as it’s revealed that Dani breaks up with Edmund just before he storms out of their car into the path of an oncoming truck, killing him right in front of her thus revealing why Edmund is haunting her. Flashforward to Bly, Dani has begun to see Edmund’s ghost more and more. His first appearance in the episode is in Dani’s bedroom mirror just as Jamie helps unzip her dress. If it weren’t apparent in the episodes prior, Dani holds an immense amount of guilt. This guilt doesn’t only stem from being the reason why Edmund was killed but also lies in who she is. Edmund’s presence is symbolic for the guilt that Dani feels whenever she is just on the brink of exploring her sexuality. We see that every interaction that Dani has with Edmund’s ghost occurs just after she shares a moment with Jamie. With Jamie being a tangible representation of what Dani desires, her visions of Edmund become more intense and more frequent as her guilt increases. 
The episode continues to show Dani experiencing Edmund’s haunting again when Jamie arrives back to the manor after attending Owen’s mom’s funeral. Here we see Dani catching herself staring at Jamie from across the table. When Jamie catches her gaze, Dani retreats to the sink where we see a mixture of nervousness and excitement across Dani’s face as she looks over her shoulder to take one more look. This moment filled with butterflies and yearning is cut short as Edmund’s hands slide across Dani’s hips as she sees him in a reflection which causes her to panic. Edmund’s presence is growing closer and stronger as Dani has begun to navigate her feelings for Jamie.
In a flashback, we get a glimpse into possibly one of the first times that Dani’s internal conflict of her sexuality crosses her mind. As Dani gets a dress fitted, the female tailor makes flirtatious passes at her. We see Dani acknowledge these advances and isn’t opposed to them occurring. The scene switches to a guilt stricken Dani, her eyebrows furrowed above saddened eyes that wander upward to Jamie who’s helping prep the table for dinner. This quick glance up to Jamie holds so much. The internal turmoil that Dani is feeling in this moment is palpable. To think that all of her moments of repression have led up to this. This feeling of wanting. This feeling of yearning. To live openly and authentically as the person she’s always been.
Later that night, the keepers of Bly hold a bonfire to honor those that they’ve lost. A weight can be felt on the four as they remember their late loved ones by the warmth of the fire. The concept of found family lies in the heart of those who find a home at Bly and can be seen through Hannah and Jamie’s odes to the late Rebecca, Dominic, and Charlotte. 
“Because from here on in, the shadows get deeper… the nights get longer. We’re heading into the dark and we have to hang onto each other. So, we can only carry so much.”
As they commemorate who they’ve lost, Jamie mentions Dani and how she believes that Dani is the key to getting Miles and Flora back to themselves. A moment of pain rushes across Dani’s face as Jamie states how she believes that Dani is stronger than she thinks. To be in the midst of an internal conflict yet hear how someone believes in your strength can be something so painful to hear as you struggle to believe it yourself. We see Dani in a battle with herself as she fights to live authentically regardless of the guilt she’s carrying. 
Eventually, the gardener and the au pair break away from Owen and Hannah to go to the greenhouse. A pivotal moment in the growth of Dani and Jamie’s relationship occurs here when Dani makes the decision to lay everything out on the table for Jamie and finally explain her history with Edmund as well as sometimes seeing his ghost. 
“I’ve never told anybody that.”
These words that leave Dani’s mouth are so intimate and so vulnerable. Jamie takes what she’s being dealt and handles it with such a level of care that ensures that Dani knows that she’s being heard and respected. As we’ve seen Jamie talk Dani down from a breakdown in episode 2, we see a parallel here where Jamie takes it upon herself to make Dani laugh in an effort to console her. This moment is cut short as Dani musters the courage to ask the heartbreaking question that allows Jamie to make the decision whether to take or leave Dani and all of her baggage.
“Think I’m crazy?”
The pain in Dani’s face as she asks this shows just how scared she is to be rejected by the one person she wants the most. Without even a hint of hesitation, Jamie reassures her that nothing has changed in her view of Dani’s strength. A wave of relief comes over Dani as she’s hit her tipping point of acting upon the feelings she’s been suppressing all this time. She kisses Jamie and a moment of vulnerability is shown on Jamie’s face as she gets the confirmation that Dani is sure in her decision to do this. This moment is short lived by Edmund’s ghost appearing just behind Jamie, causing Dani to retreat in a panic. This is probably the worst cockblock in the history of cockblocks. Dani quickly retreats as Jamie mirrors her actions and immediately puts her walls back up as embarrassment sinks into them both in different directions. As the pair make it back to Hannah and Owen, Dani is visibly disappointed with how things ended up. Jamie’s comment of “it’s all good” as she guides Owen away from the bonfire shows how she would prefer to move on right away instead of confronting the confusing messages she’s just received from Dani. 
The final scene of the episode is what I like to call Dani’s last straw. Dani’s guilt has turned to anger as she makes the decision to confront her own shadows by throwing Edmund’s glasses into the bonfire. Flashbacks of kissing Jamie intercut the scene to really solidify Dani’s desires to move on and be able to freely love her without the burden of her past. 
“It’s just you and me then.”
Dani is tired. She’s waited for this moment. She’s finally accepted this part of her and she stares straight into Edmund’s ghost without any more fear. She’s found the strength to move on. 
Episode Six
The sponsor of this episode is cement as Dani and Jamie cement their relationship in this hour. The episode begins with Dani’s attempt at reconciliation after the unfortunate cockblock of a certain dead ex-fiancé in episode four. Dani wakes up at the crack of dawn to visit Jamie in her greenhouse. Dani’s entire existence in this moment is ridden with nervousness as she puts on her best “everything is normal” face. Jamie is quick to notice how out of character waking up this early is for Dani to which Dani dismisses. We see that Jamie’s cold and guarded exterior is back and for good reason considering the unfortunate events at the end of her and Dani’s last interaction.  Dani’s eagerness to patch things up puts her through several attempts at getting a reaction out of Jamie, each of which ends up being shut down. First is the gesture of giving Jamie coffee which results in her gently spitting it back into the cup. Next is Dani’s attempt at voicing how lonely she’s been.
“No Owen. No you.”
Dani’s voice drags on a little longer here to emphasize how Jamie’s absence the last few days have created a noticeable emptiness at the manor. Jamie responds with a simple “sometimes people wanna be alone” which seems like her own personal choice. However, Dani finally gets a reaction through Jamie’s icy exterior when she makes her laugh after a terrible attempt at a British accent. This mirrors the other instances prior where Jamie has made the effort to make Dani laugh in order to ease any emotional tension. After the ice has been broken, we see Dani’s first wind of confidence as she asks Jamie out to a boring ol’ date at a boring ol’ pub. We can see relief and a sense of pride strewn across Dani’s face when Jamie catches her drift. This marks the beginning of a fresh start for the two. 
The next time we see the pair is in the kitchen as Jamie surprises Dani by coming back to the manor after initially leaving.
“Made it halfway home and I thought ‘rough day, maybe Poppins might fancy a little boredom.’”
Dani’s shocked excitement quickly turns into awkward nervousness as Hannah and Owen wave them away to spend time together. Jamie gently takes Dani’s hand and guides her out of the room. This presents the reaffirmation that Jamie still cares enough to try again with Dani.  
The gardener leads the au pair somewhere off on the grounds of Bly to a secret area where moonflowers have bloomed. She explains how difficult they are to grow in England and how fragile their lifespan is. 
“That’s a lot of work for a flower that only blooms once.”
“That’s what people feel like to me. Exhaustive effort, very little to show for it.”
“All of them?”
“All of them. Even you. Even me… especially me.”
Jamie’s emphasis on herself shows her insecurity of not being enough after anyone makes the effort to break down her walls and gets to know who she really is. What follows is a tear-jerking speech that gives insight on Jamie’s past and her painful upbringing. From the details of her childhood like growing up in a broken home, being forced into foster care, and serving time in jail, we begin to understand why she puts such a strong, guarded front. The absence of a family unit in her youth and young adulthood has resulted in her feeling like she may be unlovable. Like she might not be worth the effort of loving. Just as Dani did in episode four, this is Jamie laying everything out on the table for Dani to decide whether or not she will take or leave Jamie and all of her baggage. After Jamie finishes her monologue, Dani gets up and doesn’t say a word. She takes hold of Jamie and kisses her. No words can alleviate the pain that Jamie’s endured but the effort of loving her can be a start. Dani pulls away for a brief moment to reveal a relieved Jamie smiling back at her after she has realized that Dani has chosen to accept her for everything that she is. 
The next scene they have together is the morning after Dani finally gets her first restful night’s sleep. 
“The au pair could not remember that last time she’d slept this well. And she thought perhaps she never had.”
The moment to highlight in this short scene is Dani stopping to look at herself in the mirror. She is finally able to see her truest self without being haunted of guilt. She smiles as she looks at her reflection and to a sleeping Jamie in the bed next to her. She’s finally made peace with herself. 
The final Dani and Jamie scene of the episode occurs at the end of the day just as Dani puts Flora to bed. Here we see the purity in the relationship that the two are creating. We see Dani unapologetically long for Jamie as she says she’s going to leave for the night. The au pair’s subtle look at the gardener’s lips as she speaks and the inching closer and closer to her shows just how high Dani’s confidence levels have risen to after being able to finally love freely. To see Dani in such a smitten state of mind is a breath of fresh air for not only herself but for us, the viewers, who have seen her in such a trapped state of mind when it comes to loving someone. The innocence of longing, in tandem of making the promise of spending other nights together, show how much care and caution they are taking in order to ensure that they’re building their relationship in a healthy manner. What they are both experiencing shows a trade off of what they each have to give to the other. Dani has accepted her sexuality, which is something that seems like Jamie has already done long ago. Meanwhile, Jamie is being loved and wanted, potentially for the first time which is something that Dani has already experienced in her past. Each half of the pairing offers support and guidance to the other as they begin their journey as a couple. 
Episode Nine
This final episode of the season was an absolute doozy in terms of Dani and Jamie’s relationship. I’ve watched all of these scenes a solid million times over and I bawl my eyes out every. damn. time. But I mopped up my tear-soaked notebook and carried on for the purpose of this essay. The episode picks up action as Flora sacrifices herself to save Dani from being dragged and choked to death by Viola, the Lady of the Lake. As Jamie and Owen arrive back at the manor after both having awful dreams, they briefly see Hannah as she says that they’re needed at the lake. Jamie bolts the second she hears Dani yelling. She knows Dani’s in trouble and wastes absolutely zero time trying to find her. Jamie yells Dani’s name and you can feel that her sense of urgency has one goal in mind: save Dani. 
“It’s you. It’s me. It’s Us.”
Viola has accepted the au pair’s offer. Besides Flora, Jamie is the only witness to see Dani’s last moment of belonging to only herself. From this point on, the darkness begins to fester deep within Dani’s soul and Jamie must live knowing that there was nothing that she could do as she watched Dani let part of herself go to let Viola in. Jamie runs into the lake as Dani’s trauma starts almost immediately. Her breathing is quickened, and she can’t stop repeating those final words that she felt deep in her bones. The gardener holds the au pair and takes one look at her as she already notices the effects of trauma. Dani’s darting eyes are panicked as she struggles to register that Jamie is there with her. Her breathing finally slows as Jamie holds her close in her attempts to calm her down. Jamie is Dani’s grounding force in this moment. Dani has finally freed the ghosts of Bly but at the cost of her own self. Her own life for the souls of the others. 
The following scene highlights the days following the incident at the lake, immediately starting with Jamie and Owen looking into the well to find Hannah’s dead body. I wanted to highlight this moment just for the sake of Jamie for she has been there to witness all the deaths of her loved ones firsthand. She was the first adult to find Rebecca in the lake, one of the first to find Hannah in the well, and the first to see Dani die in more ways than one. She just can’t seem to catch a break but after all… death is beautiful, it’s natural.
Jamie finds Dani as she packs away her things however, Dani’s mind appears to be somewhere else. Darkness has begun to burrow itself into Dani’s soul. She’s shaking. She’s terrified. She’s mourning the loss of herself. 
“I feel her. In here. It’s so quiet, it’s so quiet, but she’s in here. And this part of her that’s in here, it isn’t… peaceful.”
Dani explains how Viola’s presence feels like a beast waiting for her in a thick jungle. She feels hopeless again but this time feels heavier than all the rest. She has something to lose here now. She has a relationship with Jamie to lose, she has an entire life to lose. It isn’t as simple as feeling the guilt of losing someone or the guilt of loving someone. This feeling isn’t human, this feeling of dread goes beyond what the stages of grief entails. Where is she to go if she can’t go within herself to find peace? 
“She’s gonna take me.”
A tear falls down Jamie’s face as these heavy words fall out of Dani’s mouth. This is the first hint of Jamie losing Dani. The fear of the inevitable fills the room with such a weight that no words can alleviate Dani’s pain. Yet Jamie tries. She tries her damn best. She offers her company with the seal of a pinky promise. She gives all that she can offer: herself and her love. Dani’s feeling of darkness doesn’t have to be lonely this time. 
After a final goodbye to Henry, Miles, and Flora, the gardener and the au pair set off to start their lives together as the image of Bly fades away into the distance. Their life together starts at a diner as Jamie plans their course of action, hoping to end up in Vermont to see snow by Christmas. Here we see Dani looking at her own reflection in the tableside jukebox before stopping Jamie as she worries that they’re planning too far ahead. Dani’s cautious. She doesn’t want to get either of their hopes up. 
“One day at a time is fine by me. As long as those days are with you, Poppins. One day at a time is what we’ve got.”
There’s a brightness in these words which in turn reflect onto them. There’s a light in this moment that shows that they haven’t lost their footing yet. And thus begins the final climb to their highest point before the tragedy that lies ahead occurs. We flashforward to a year later to The Leafling, the flower shop that the pair have opened up together. Dani is still Dani and Jamie is still Jamie but more in love this time than the last time and the time before that. 
“You see, I’m not sick of you. At all. I’m actually pretty in love with you, it turns out.”
Here we see the reintroduction of the moonflower. The symbol of Jamie and Dani’s love. The last time we saw the moonflower was back when the pair finally made the choice to accept one another and start their relationship. This time, we see the moonflower one last time as Jamie chooses to solidify their love by finally breaking the big L word. 
A montage ensues of the gardener and the au pair’s life together. Years have passed and peace was just finally in their grasp. Or so it seemed. This feeling of fluttering innocence is put to a halt as Dani sees Viola’s reflection in the door of the flower shop. Dani stops in her tracks as she stares at the reflection, her face is still as she stands in a quiet shock. That is until she sees Jamie through the door, smiling at her with such a playful gaze. This instance shows yet again that Jamie is Dani’s grounding force even after all this time and Dani’s own reflection returns not even a second later. This is a moment for the audience to take a peek into Jamie’s importance in Dani’s life, especially at a point that something so vengeful is making its way to the surface. To see Jamie’s smiling face cut through the image of the beast in the jungle, we can’t help but feel the same pain yet also the sense of relief that Dani must feel in this moment. Although Dani returns to herself, we can’t help but feel Viola’s presence looming. 
The scene that follows is another significant milestone in Dani and Jamie’s journey together as Dani comes back home with a dying plant that’s concealing an engagement ring. Above the surface, Dani has put the ring in a dying plant because she knew that Jamie would waste no time investigating how to save it. But this can also be interpreted in relation to Jamie’s moonflower speech where she says “every living thing grows out of every dying thing” to show how their relationship is taking the next step of growth as she pulls the ring out of a dying plant. The ring itself is a traditional Irish Claddagh ring, which shows how Dani did her research and chose a ring specific to Jamie’s northern heritage. The hands that make the band of the ring represents friendship, while the heart representing love, and the crown representing loyalty. These representations are fitting for the relationship that the pairing has created and for Dani’s proposal speech. 
“Here’s the thing - you’re my best friend and the love of my life. And I don’t know how much time we have left but however much it is, I wanna spend it with you.”
The thing to highlight about Dani and Jamie’s relationship is that it runs on Dani’s timeline which is something that is so important to showcase, especially considering how Edmund had made almost all the choices for her in her previous engagement. Jamie understands this and has always insured that Dani felt comfortable before progressing further into their relationship together. In this moment, Jamie finally has a promise of love while Dani has security in the person she loves the most. As Jamie accepts her proposal and the two share a moment of celebration, Dani’s face of worry as she hugs Jamie shows that she feels an inability to be fully happy. She’s unable to fully give herself to Jamie in this moment which in turn shows how Viola’s presence is getting closer and getting darker. 
We jump slightly forward in time to the pair visiting Owen’s aptly named restaurant, A Batter Place. After a moment of remembrance for Hannah, Dani looks into the reflection of a metal water pitcher to see Viola’s reflection yet again. Dani’s face is surprised by this sight, but she keeps it quietly to herself as to not ruin the moment of reunion. If we compare this instance to the first time Dani looked at her reflection at the tableside jukebox at the diner years prior, we can see that this moment is filled with much more darkness. The light that used to be inside of her is dimming. Although Jamie is holding her and is physically next to her in this moment, she doesn’t cut through the darkness anymore. Jamie’s power as a grounding force is dimming as well. 
“So, they’re all happy?”
The inflection in Dani’s voice here is so subtle that only Jamie takes notice of it. Jamie looks at Dani and senses that something has gone off in her. Owen continues to explain how Miles and Flora have no recollection of the events that took place at Bly. No recollection of the sacrifice that Dani made to save them. 
“So, if they don’t remember Hannah…they don’t remember…”
Dani’s voice trails off here. She looks down and is caught in the bitter realization that her sacrifice has been forgotten. This feeling of a looming darkness, this feeling of living a life that’s ticking down to her own demise… was it worth it? Jamie can feel Dani’s pain immediately as her eyes stayed glued on Dani who’s trying to see if there would be any way to remind Miles and Flora about what she did.  The gardener stares at au pair without breaking away and in this instant, we can see that, along with Dani, Jamie is breaking too. Breaking under the burden of knowing that she can’t take Dani’s pain away.
The scene that follows shows Dani washing dishes where she sees Viola again in the water. She panics and finally admits to Jamie that she’s been seeing her more and more. The tension that was present between them moments earlier immediately fades away as Jamie wastes no time in trying to console Dani. Jamie’s blind optimism here has a slight tinge of desperation as she refuses to let Dani slip away into the abyss that’s growing stronger and stronger. Dani’s interaction with Viola’s reflection in this moment sets off an alarm bell within her, unlike the other times where she sat quietly and dealt with it on her own. This is Dani’s tipping point. The highest level of fear is felt as the reality is beginning to sink in that the beast is coming for her. Another thing to note here is that even after all these years, Jamie still makes the conscious effort to make Dani laugh. 
“I’ll do the washing up from now on, yeah? You’re shit at it anyway.”
Dani can’t help but give the smallest laugh, but it’s more than enough for Jamie. Through Jamie’s optimism, we have begun to see that she’s not only consoling Dani but also herself as she tries to convince both of them that they can have so much more time together. The episode continues on with the train of heartbreak as Jamie comes home after receiving civil union paperwork for her and Dani. What comes next is what I feel like is the most heartbreaking Dani moment in the entire series. Dani stares deep into an overflowing bathtub where an ominous Viola stares back at her. Jamie is quick to bring Dani back to reality but Dani has lost her footing. Her hold on Viola has flipped to Viola having a hold on her. 
“It’s like every day I feel myself fading away, but I’m still here, and… I don’t really understand how that is.” 
The fear has withered away into emptiness as Dani struggles to stay afloat. We see Jamie so pained as she watches the light fade into a grey nothingness as she listens to Dani talk about how she is beginning to lose herself to the beast. 
“I’m not even scared of her anymore. I just stare at her, and it’s getting harder and harder to see me.” 
To listen to the love of her life slip away through her fingers has Jamie in a phase of denial as she continuously refuses to let Dani break apart. We see the gardener’s optimism wavering as she tries her best to help the au pair hold onto herself. Dani’s voice as she says Jamie’s name is filled with nothing but pure hopelessness and despair as she dips further and further into uncertainty. Yet Jamie doesn’t lose hope. Jamie would never give up on Dani as she repeats the words she told Dani in the diner all those years ago. 
“One day at a time.”
However, Jamie has run out of answers. She can only offer comfort now. 
Next we see Dani hit her lowest low as she is taken over by Viola and awakes to see that she almost strangled Jamie to death in their sleep. Dani is shocked and broken as she sits in the disbelief of what she almost did. The time has come. The beast has arrived. Viola has waited years until Dani was so broken down and so vulnerable, that she would finally be able to take her. However, we can’t help but believe that Dani fought off Viola this long thanks to the love her and Jamie shared.
The gardener wakes up the following morning to find an empty space next to her. She reaches to the empty space in the bed and then for the note left on the bedside table. It can only mean one thing: her biggest fear has come to light. With her strong will and determination, Jamie gives one final push and flies back across the pond to Bly to face what she’s been in fear of all this time. The amount of immense grief that is felt in this moment, to be at the same place that the love of her life began to be taken away from her all those years ago, must be incredibly damaging. The manor holds so much of Jamie’s life. She found her family there. She created a beautiful garden on those grounds. Her and Dani’s love blossomed on the same grounds that she first began to lose her that night at the lake. Jamie storms off to the edge of the water. Her face is so tired. She already knows what she’s going to find and yet she still doesn’t lose the hope that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be true. 
“The gardener said the words she’d heard those years ago; she willed it with everything she had. You, me, us. Us. ‘Take me with you,’ she cried in her heart. ‘Take me. Drag me down like you did the others.’ But the lady in the lake was different now – the lady in the lake was also Dani. And Dani wouldn’t. Dani would never.” 
The agony and desperation that we see Jamie endure in the moments that we see her find Dani laying at the very bottom of the lake is a type of pain that is unmatched from any other moment of pain that we’ve seen this season. Her muffled screams as she takes a hold of her heart, only to let her arms go in despair under the water is something so haunting yet so unbelievably moving to see her love so much considering how far she’s come from the cold and guarded gardener we saw all the way back in episode one. She would’ve given up everything. Absolutely everything to take Dani’s place. Given up everything to join Dani at the bottom of the lake. Unlike Peter with Rebecca, Dani could never take Jamie down to the depths. Dani could never harm a single soul, let alone the one person that mattered the most to her. By letting Jamie go and taking Viola’s place as the lady of the lake, Dani has broken the cycle of violence that’s haunted the grounds of Bly for centuries. As Jamie was the hero of Dani’s story, Dani will always be the hero to Jamie’s. 
The final act of the season ends with an older Jamie finishing her story to the wedding guests. 
“She would know nothing of the gardener, nothing of their life together. The details, the specific moments would all fade away. More time will pass, and the water will wash away the delicate features of her; of her beautiful, perfect face. But she won’t be hollow, nor empty. And she won’t pull others to her fate. She will merely walk the grounds of Bly, harmless as a dove, for all of her days. Leaving the only trace of who she once was in the memory of the woman who loved her most.”
We see an older Jamie comfort a teary-eyed Flora who is afraid of the time when she would also lose the love of her life. Jamie comforts her with advice that we can only ever assume she learned in her time with Dani. The final scene shows the gardener’s nightly routine as she stares into reflections, hoping to catch one last glimpse of the au pair. As she drifts away into sleep, a hand wearing a golden wedding ring rests gently on her shoulder. Our haunting love story has come to an end. And the rest? Well the rest… is confetti.  
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rantingcrocodile · 2 years
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I feel so stupid. So, I had a huge major crush, some would say that I was actually in love, with a guy I met online. He had been freshly dumped from a long relationship and it was bad. I wanted to be his friend because of how cool I thought he was at first, but I started falling for him during the friendship. I never told him. He would talk about other people romantically and I took it to heart, but again, I never told him how I truly felt because I felt I was being manipulative of like, playing the whole "oh i was nice to you and i was a good friend to you now you owe me a relationship!" especially since he fell through hard times in his life. He wasn't exactly a very good friend, tbh. He would ignore me a lot or leave me on read, or just leave in the middle of our conversations over texts for days at a time. When I went through a hard time over something, he would check up on me but then acted annoyed when I would go into details about what happened. Almost like I was a burden he had to deal with so that he can get free therapy from me. I did not had the best boundaries back then and I learned the hard way thanks to him, but yeah. He got into a relationship with someone else and that's when I decided to move on. He saw me talking about something random online and took that as an opportunity to tell me right off the bat that he's seeing someone. It felt like it came out of the left field, but I pretended to be very happy for him. I cried so much afterwards that day, it was pathetic. They dated maybe a couple of months before they broke up and he looked for me not too long after. I told him I needed some time off because I was going through something hard in my life and I did not wanted to burden him. He played the whole OH YOU'RE NOT BURDENING ME LOL but anyway, we stopped talking for a couple of months. He randomly messaged me that he misses me and that he hopes I'm doing well. I decided to talk to him again and he ghosts me after responding to one message of mine. I was floored and felt like an absolute fucking fool. I blocked him and it's been many many months since then. I still think about it. I just feel like my ego has taken a major hit from him. He made me feel like I wasn't worth paying attention to, or wouldn't mention me to other people at all, even as a friend. I've never felt less attractive in general thanks to him. I feel like I'm at fault for how I was treated because I was being a doormat or too helpful or too nice, but I still feel shitty. How do you move on from something like this? Sorry if this was long. x
Men spread the myth that it's women who play mind games and are manipulative exactly for this purpose. You are not stupid, you're the victim of male manipulation.
Let's go over what happened to you again in the simplest terms to peel back what actually happened here.
You met a guy online who portrayed himself as extremely vulnerable and deeply hurt from the start so that you would feel sorry for him. A lot of your conversations were framed around romance to prime you to see him as a target for romance.
He spoke to you about romance with others, but because your "friendship" started where he was recognised as a victim of a romance gone wrong, you were also primed to believe that your romantic feelings for him - the ones that he manipulated you into feeling - made you an aggressor. That belief that you were some kind of danger to him encouraged you to be silent and feel guilt, and so you would overcompensate in supporting him.
Through this, he reiterated how much of a victim he was because of his home life.
Because he was the victim and you were the aggressor, it was natural for him to use you for emotional support, but he refused to be a friend in return, treating you like a free therapist, whilst trying to make you feel guilty about sharing your own issues like you would with an ordinary friend.
When you saw that he had a relationship, you tried to move on. Because he knew that you were primed to see him romantically, he deliberately went out of his way to insert himself and his new romance into your life yet again to hurt you and make you both feel like you were lesser, and that he was a prize. That even a sliver of his time was something that you needed to feel grateful about.
As soon as he broke up with his partner, he ran right back to you because he knew that he could use you, and he pretended to care for a little while. Later, he sent a message to try and remind you that he's important and that you should be missing him, too. As soon as you responded, he ghosted you because he believed that he had you right back on the hook again.
The worst part of all that wasn't that he was deliberately trying to damage you, it was that the whole game was to make himself feel attractive and wanted.
Men feel powerful when they're desired by women, and hooking you by acting like the victim, extracting every support that he could from you, knowing that you were hanging around in the background with feelings for him, were a constant ego boost for him. He told you about those relationships on purpose so then he could sit back and enjoy knowing that you would feel envious and upset, that you were the one thinking about him.
You weren't a doormat at all and none of this was your fault.
What he did was what men usually do, treat women like objects to support themselves. You weren't a friend, you were an object that he could get sympathy and support from so he could feel like a victim. You were an object that made him feel important. You were an object that made him feel desired. You were an object that he enjoyed believing was pining and upset over him. You were an object that made him feel powerful.
I know that this sounds trite, but situations like this are exactly why women need feminism.
You need to understand that none of this had anything to do with your worth or your ego. The fact is that as a man, he didn't see you as anything other than an object for his own validation because you're a woman. This was incredibly personal to you because it is personal, but men don't see women as people. None of this was personal to him. None of this was about you being "good enough" for him.
Like you said, he was an online friend. Being online, he wasn't going to get to have physical sex with you, so that wouldn't have mattered what you looked like.
What you also need to understand is that your worth has nothing to do with your physical appearance. Patriarchy has weaponised women's self-worth and tied it to our bodies and features to keep us insecure and feeling worthless.
Looks fade. You're going to get wrinkles, saggy breasts, aches and pains, eye bags, thinner lips, looser muscles, saggier skin. It's inevitable. Patriarchy has taught us that, as women in general, we have a certain shelf life and that's it, so we better just take whatever we can get from whoever looks our way and accept it, because otherwise we'll be old and ugly and die alone, and that's the worst thing that can happen, but that isn't true.
Ask yourself why you're allowing such a disgusting example of a man holds the control over your self worth. Ask yourself why you care so much about being "attractive" to a man like that. Ask yourself why your physical "attractiveness" is so important to you. Ask yourself why you're not proud that you're a caring person trying to be kind, and why your focus isn't being angry that he took advantage of that kindness on purpose to use you.
The way that he manipulated you has allowed that manipulation to stay firmly entrenched in your mind. Instead of simply being angry at him, you're blaming yourself. Instead of being angry that he used you, you're examining your own body and reinforcing the internalised misogyny that you only deserve respect and kindness if the male gaze finds you physically "attractive" enough.
None of that is your fault, either. It's because you're a woman living in a misogynistic world. What you need to do is take some time and really work on reframing what happened in your mind and question the thought processes that you're forced to follow right now.
The first rule of misogyny is that women are to blame for the actions of men.
You blaming yourself is blaming an innocent woman for the actions of that man hurting you.
You deserve so much better than that.
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franniebanana · 3 years
Text
CQL Rewatch - Ep 19
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Wow, Wei Wuxian looks so rough here. He’s spent some time under the knife (with no anesthetic), and then after that, he has just been waiting around for Jiang Cheng. It’s been seven days since Jiang Cheng went up that mountain. And of course Wei Wuxian is worried about him. What if something happened on his way down the mountain? What if he’d been captured or killed by the Wens? All the while, he’s basically defenseless here in Yiling (iirc). He’s sweating profusely, clutching at his middle—it’s possible he’s even suffering from an infection due to the transfer surgery. Seriously, the poor guy!
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I love the visuals here: all these cloaked figures just filling this tea house, and not another soul in there other than the waiters. It’s both comical and heartbreaking the way that Wei Wuxian tries to immediately nope out of there, because he knows it’s a trap right away. Even with his Golden Core, I don’t know if he could have escaped them all—there were too many Wens, including the Core-Melting Hand. This part always really gets to me, because it truly is the first death of Wei Wuxian. It’s the death of who he once was: that smart, quirky, rascal of a youth, who made a very honest oath that essentially guided him to this point.
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No joke, the first time I watched this, I was like, “Is that Lotus Pier? How tf did he get there?! How much did they change the story?!” And then a few seconds later, I realized this was a super sad dream/vision that Jiang Cheng was having and I channeled all my anger into sadness. This part is also super depressing. He has this vision of this happy family: his mother laughing, his father kissing his hand, just the picture of love. But it’s so far from what he had growing up, and you just realize that his greatest desire was really to have that happy family. But his parents are dead, he’s lost just about everyone at Lotus Pier—it’s so heartbreaking.
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God, he just looks so broken! I’m sad now.
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So even though I know the cost of Jiang Cheng’s happiness is Wei Wuxian giving up his own Golden Core, I still feel so happy here, seeing Jiang Cheng feeling like himself again. It’s because Wei Wuxian knows Jiang Cheng’s heart truly that he could offer up his own future so that Jiang Cheng could have a better one. I also just love this shot of Jiang Cheng kowtowing to the Immortal One, thanking her for healing him, and the camera pans past him, showcasing the beautiful scenery again. And then he walks down the mountain path with such a spring in his step! I love it!
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I love that Wei Wuxian is still able to use his mind and play to their weaknesses. Wang Lingjao is extremely superstitious and fearful of the supernatural, and just the idea that he could haunt them scares the shit out of her. It’s just very cool to me that with all the abuse he endures, he still maintains a clear head and is able to fight back with his wit. This is yet another reason why I get annoyed when I see Wei Wuxian characterized as an idiot or someone who isn’t very smart. He proves his wit in just about every scene, so I don’t know why he gets this reputation in fanon. I feel like it’s derived from some overused yaoi/shojo trope where the “girl” has to be less smart than the “guy.” I don’t know how many things I’ve watched and read with a scatterbrained (but not charming) female lead—it’s overused.
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This is so cool, because Wei Wuxian is scared out of his mind—he’s terrified of being left to die in the Burial Mounds. He’s heard all the stories: people don’t return, their souls get torn apart, etc. But what is cool is that he turns everything around and makes this place his source of power. He’s the man who conquered the Burial Mounds. It’s very satisfying to see that. FYI, I’m not going to talk about how he falls for like 20 minutes.
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But I do think it’s really cool how the dark spirits catch him (and that’s all I’ll say).
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This part still gives me major chills: you hear so many people calling out Wei Wuxian’s name, and then a “Wei Ying” breaks through. My breath always catches in my throat the first time I hear it. And then you hear it again, and the other voices have faded away before you hear it a third time. And that all feels nice until the screaming starts, which is hard to listen to, let alone hard to watch Wei Wuxian go through the mental turmoil.
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Lan Wangji is back, bitches! He’s got a new title, a new headdress, and he’s hotter than ever. Jokes aside, though, this entrance is beyond epic. Other than that tiny glimpse of him in the last episode, it’s been ages since we’ve seen him, and it’s so satisfying that we get this great entrance, walking up this enormous staircase. Obviously by this point, I’m ecstatic to see him (it’s been way too long). Everything about this scene is great, from his entrance, to the way he uses his guqin as a spiritual tool, to the way he and Jiang Cheng are now a team. I don’t think there’s an awful lot of comradery there, but they have a common goal: find Wei Wuxian.
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So we’re not really used to seeing a ton of emotion from Lan Wangji. Even when he’s annoyed, he doesn’t tend to show it. But, man, he is pissed here. Because of the magic of fiction, he’s probably heard the Wens’ conversation as he was walking up the stairs, so he heard them mocking Wei Wuxian (and the Yunmeng Jiang Sect), and he is not happy about it. He even uses the Chord Assassination Technique right off the bat against at least two of the Wen soldiers. Lan Wangji means business, and he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants.
The other great thing is that he doesn’t even need to come up all the way. He defeats them at a distance, while he’s still on the stairs. And the power and respect he commands is so great that they all know him by his face.
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What Wen Chao does here is so relatable. His girlfriend is freaking out, having nightmares, convinced Wei Wuxian is going to turn into a ferocious ghost and haunt them until they lose their minds, and he, of course, rationalizes: they’ve sent so many people to the Burial Mounds and none of them have ever come back. In other words, “You’re being ridiculous.” But when he turns away from her, you can see the fear in his own eyes. When something spooky happens, my first step is always to rationalize—there’s a logical explanation for most things, right? And it always makes you feel better to rationalize it to someone else, but when you’re alone and thinking, your mind starts to wonder, your imagination starts to go wild. It’s easy to psyche yourself up in the dark and quiet of the night.
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There’s this really gorgeous cello version of “Wuji” playing during this scene—it’s so beautiful, so moving, hitting me right in the feels. The look on Lan Wangji’s face when Jiang Cheng is telling him about how he and Wei Wuxian were supposed to meet in Yiling, how he thought Wei Wuxian had abandoned him to meet up with Lan Wangji in Lanling—he looks so defeated there. Defeated despite taking down the Qishan Indoctrination Bureau. Defeated because he hasn’t found who he’s been searching for. And then he holds Suibian so tenderly and lovingly—I’m emotional, okay?
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It’s really cute and heartwarming to see Jin Zixuan starting to fall for Jiang Yanli. We’ve known for quite some time how Yanli feels for him, so it’s quite satisfying to see his walls come down as he starts to care more and more about her. He becomes protective of her. When she gasps at the hanging head at the gates of Qinghe, his instinct is to hold her—of course, he stops himself, but it’s very obvious that he wants to comfort her physically (and not in a dirty way, get your minds out of the gutter).
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I love the dichotomy here: on one end, you have Jin Zixuan asking Lan Wangji where Wei Wuxian is, while you have Jiang Yanli echoing that on the other end with Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng can’t answer—he’s crying, trembling, emotionally responding to his sister without speaking. And Lan Wangji can’t speak either. His lips part, but no words come out. Again, you get this great sense of defeat from him—he’s completely at a loss, but he can’t or chooses not to show those emotions.
It’s also interesting how they kind of clipped the reunion between the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in favor of showing the conversation between Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. In my opinion, it’s to remind us of the reunion that isn’t happening right now—the one that should have been—the one between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. And why isn’t it happening? The conversation reminds us that he’s still missing. I don’t doubt the importance of the Yunmeng Jiang siblings in this story—they are obviously instrumental to the plot and to Wei Wuxian—but it’s choices like this where the writers/scene directors remind us that the relationship to focus on is the one between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, and not Jiang Cheng, holds onto Suibian, the only remaining item that is most spiritually connected to Wei Wuxian. Isn’t that interesting?
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“A-Cheng, you’ve grown up. As your sister, there’s nothing I can do but worry about you.” Such a wise line—such a sad line. This really brings out how powerless she feels in the lives of her brothers. She’s a bystander, she has no influence. All she can do is watch and worry, and nothing either of them says or does will change that. It’s something we as parents and caretakers and guardians at some point have to admit: we can’t control our children’s lives, we can’t control those we take care of. Once they reach a point in their lives, it’s them who has to make their own decisions. They must thrive on their own, they must fail on their own. And all we can do is watch and worry and hope for the best. God, Yanli breaks my heart.
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Me in bed when I watch a scary movie any time of the day.
She does crazy so well, though.
Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
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cosmicpines · 3 years
Text
OTGW Dream-Unknown Comic Lore
Hey! Thought I’d make a post about the “ongoing” (now finished) post-series OTGW comic and the implications it has to the lore of the show, since I’m not sure everyone has read them.
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Big Note: these comics are only dubiously canon! None were written by Pat McHale.
Other Big Note: I think assigning hard “mechanics” to how the Unknown works defeats the purpose. It is mean to be loose, fairytale like, shepherded by emotion. Putting a stamp on “this is how they get in and out” and “this is exactly what happened” doesn’t make sense -- part of the point is we, Greg, and Wirt don’t know exactly what the Unknown is.
That being said, i still think it’s fun to look at the facts presented in the comics and see if we can figure out a bit of what’s going on. This post is long because this is who I am as a person, apparently.
TLDR: Wirt and Greg can be brought to the Unknown during their dreams, potentially for multiple days in one night. They are there until they both realize they are dreaming and they solve the problem they were brought there for.
Right off the bat, in issue 1, we find out that Greg can go to the Unknown in his dreams -- in this case, because Jason told him that there was a “new case” for them to solve.
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He briefly wakes up and goes back to sleep (probably because they wanted to show Wirt in issue 1.)
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Greg doesn’t seem surprised to find himself in the Unknown; quite the opposite: Jason is telling him about a “new” case, implying that this has happened before, possibly multiple times. We have no idea how long after the series this takes place, only that it’s either fall or winter, judging from their pajamas.
Greg doesn’t offer us any other insight to what’s going on, but, eventually, Wirt shows up in issue 4.  He asks Greg what he’s, and later they, are doing here, implying he did not choose to come and they don’t always come here at the same time.
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Wirt is particularly interesting that he seems to think they may not be able to leave again, as he brings up on 2 occasions.
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However, this may just be because he doesn’t know he’s dreaming.
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(Yes, that’s Sara. More on her later.)
A detail that I think is important from the show here -- then, Wirt also couldn’t remember entering the Unknown, since he seemed to think he and Greg were lost and not, you know, drowning in a river. I think it’s very possible that when you enter the Unknown, you forget how you got there. Remembering that is key to being able to escape.
Sara tells Wirt he’s dreaming, and from that point on, he no longer waxes about being trapped: he instead tells Greg he wants to go home, as seen in issue 12.
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When Greg and Wirt split up to solve the last mysteries:
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This implies that they don’t have to go home together and, at this point, they are more or less capable of going home whenever.
Issue 16 brings them both home, Greg after revealing Hero Frog’s intentions and getting Jason elected mayor:
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And Wirt after he and Sara defeat the Shapeshifter.
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(poor wirt lmao)
I think these puzzle pieces can lead to a conclusion: They can only go home from the Dream Unknown once they are both aware that they are dreaming and they solve whatever problem they were brought here for. Once they do, they can go back whenever they want. 
After waking up, Greg immediately checks on his brother.
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Solidifying that they remember what happened, and, implying at least, that they don’t always get home at the same time. I can see scenarios where one sits in the other’s room, waiting for them to wake up...
We ultimately don’t know how often this happens, what triggers it, and how aware they are of the whole thing. Judging from their reactions to being there and going home, I feel like this sort of thing happens often enough, but not so often that it’s exhausting and/or terrifying... once a month, maybe?
If that rate increases, though... well, that’s just some fun fanfiction fuel.
Some other observations:
1. Greg and Wirt may not experience things exactly the same in the Dream Unknown.
When Wirt first shows up, he makes this comment:
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“A bunch of nightmare stuff” seems a little... extreme, for what Wirt was doing, as said ghost was a beaver in a sheet. 
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Issue 6 offers a potential explanation. The framing device for this issue is a tavern keeper asks them why they look so tired, and Greg and Wirt both tell the story of having to sit in a location all night to meet someone, but their stories vary wildly. For Greg, they were on a stage. For Wirt, they were in a graveyard.
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Both stories have seriously different levels of Wirt’s enthusiasm,
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and how creepy it is.
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I won’t pretend that this is canon that they’re experiencing it differently; it’s definitely possible that one or both of them are unreliable narrators. Certain details, like Wirt singing, point more to that, but others, like Wirt getting eaten by a demon horse, is... a lot more extreme, haha.
This is also partly refuted later in the comic, as Greg and Wirt get separated but visit the same places, which are largely the same.
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But still, it’s a fun idea.
2. Sara is here
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Yeah, so, this can either be adorable or terrifying.
All Sara really says about her being here is that she thinks this is a lucid dream where Wirt is a person in it, which Wirt never presses her but come on Wirt please press her cause what the fuuuuuuckkkkk????? Sara ultimately doesn’t seem to know what the Unknown really is, since she only refers to it as a lucid dream.
Three explanations I can think of:
1. Her line “I’m having a lucid dream and you’re a part of it” could be meant to imply that the opposite: Wirt is the one having the dream and has dreamed up a Sara to adventure with him.This Sara is just something Wirt has created to join him in the Unknown, and the real Sara isn’t involved or aware of this at all. This isn’t the first time the Unknown has created a Sara, if you consider Distillatoria canon (which... ehhhhh......  I have Opinions about that lol)
2. Sara has been to the Unknown before. If that is the case, it either happened recently, since Wirt is surprised to see her there, or Sara has been doing this for a while and they just haven’t run into each other. Her saying it’s just a dream isn’t incorrect, and if she doesn’t think Wirt is really Wirt (that the Unknown created him), there’s no reason for her to be like “hey, we’re in a dream recreation of purgatory that apparently has a grasp on my soul for all eternity.”
3. This is the first time Sara has been to the Unknown, and Wirt unintentionally brought her along. This one has the least evidence towards it, but I think it’s interesting. Greg is able to bring his stuffed raccoon with him to the Unknown, so why can’t Wirt bring the consciousness of his crush and/or girlfriend?
Another thing to think about when considering this: Wirt and Greg are in the Unknown in their Halloween costumes. I like the idea that whatever you wore to the Unknown when you go is what you always wear when you’re there. Sara is all dressed for an adventure, with a cute green cape, a huge backpack, and a bee mask (specifically to trick the shapeshifter).
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So I’m not sure what she might have been doing to be wearing this and then end up in the Unknown... Either she’s into LARP, she got into a hiking accident while wearing a sick cape, she changed clothes after arriving in the Dream Unknown, or her outfit is part of Wirt’s dream.
No idea which explanation is “correct;” I think they’re all interesting to play with!
3. Jason has relatives in the Unknown
Apparently the Hero Frog is Jason’s dad???
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Which is... fascinating, considering they found Jason before going into the Unknown.
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I think I read ages ago a theory that Jason is originally from the Unknown and got out somehow, as he is a lot more intelligent than a real frog should be. Who knows, though.
It’s probably also of note that Jason is the one who instigates them entering the Unknown, “telling” Greg there’s a mystery to solve.
4. Multiple days pass by in the dream
This is “fun...”
Day 1: Issue 1 (Greg’s arrival) - Issue 4 (Wirt’s arrival, diverging story)
Day 2: Issue 6 (morning after diverging tale) - Issue 7 (Greg sneaks around bird town, Wirt encounters a ghost)
Day 3: Issue 9 (Greg goes over a mountain. There’s a very fast day-night cycle here, but I think it’s for comedic effect. Wirt arrives in bird town and meets up with Sara.) - Issue 11 (Greg joins some “highwaymen”) /12 (Wirt and Sara help a sick goose)
Day 4: Issue 12 (Greg, Wirt, and Sara meet up in frog town) - Issue 14 (Greg spies on Hero Frog, Wirt and Sara get taken by an orphanage)
Day 5: Issue 15 (Greg/Wirt/Sara make their plan, Greg goes home before nightfall in 16) - Issue 16 (Wirt and Sara defeat the shapeshifter)
This is 5 full days they spend in the dream. Some of them are a lot fewer events than would happen in a day, and it’s very likely time is moving faster in the dream, but... jeez. That’s got to screw with your mind if this happens too often. Like, imagine the worst case scenario where they go to the Unknown every night and spend 5 days there every time! I doubt this is the case, but holy shit.
5. Beatrice, the Woodsman, Lorna, and the Beast are nowhere to be seen
This is more of an observation, but there is not even a passing mention of any of these three. Either they were all checked in on their first dream adventure, or they can’t remember that first adventure while in the dream too clearly...
There’s a ton of fun theories that you can make out of the Dream Unknown. Is the Dream Unknown the same as the Halloween Unknown? Are the boys souls claimed by the Unknown forever? Will it keep calling them back, night after night, until they go back permanently? How does this effect their healing from their trauma? Are these dreams going to increase or decrease in frequency? Do they always last exactly one night? Can Wirt fall asleep in class, spend a week in the Unknown, and wake up before the end of the period? Can Greg go to bed for the night and not wake up all day, but only have been in the Unknown for a few minutes? Does time pass in the Unknown without them there? In the Dream Unknown, will they always be the age that they originally were when they entered the Unknown? Does anyone else in the Unknown do this? (at some point, I want to do a theory post about who is from the Unknown and who is from the “real” world...)
Anyway... this post completely ran away with me. Hope you enjoyed! Send me your theories; I’m itching to hear them!
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theserpentsnight · 3 years
Note
Hi! I wanted to tell you that I really love your beetlebabes art <3 I’m really curious about your take on the characters, can you tell us more about your AU?
Thank you!! Im a sucker for powerful characters getting wrapped around the finger of some normie lmao
Okay okay so I've only seen the movie once when I was like 11, and haven't gotten around to rewatching it, but I remember Betelgeuse's nature/motive being more of a mystery at first? I like good old fashion demons with Rules and Deals and True Names. In my AU, Betelgeuse has made a lot of trouble by making deals with ghosts and taking their souls (basically all those background dancers are ghosts who are contractually bound to him lmao), then using them to get living people to summon him, before he either gets banished again, makes a deal, or kills them.
It becomes such a problem that Juno decides to play his game and make a Wager. She gets to pick a recently departed spirit, and Betelgeuse has to train them to haunt their place of death. He can't help outside of teaching them how to scare; the spirit has to do the actual haunting all by themself. If he wins, he will be free to enter the living world whenever he wants, without needing to be summoned. If he loses, his contracts will be destroyed, and he will be bound to the spirit's place of death alongside them.
He accepts, thinking this is going to be the easiest thing in the world. He's already trained so many ghosts how to scare, its his whole thing!
And then Juno picks the Maitlands.
He was excited for all of two seconds, thinking Juno lost her mind giving him TWO ghosts to work with, but that excitement is quickly and brutally extinguished because my version of the Maitlands are exactly like they are in the musical.
He manages to last almost two weeks before they drive him fucking crazy, and he gives up. He meets up with Juno on the roof and tries to complain that picking these two wasn't fair, yada yada, but she's having none of it. As agreed, all his contracts are destroyed, freeing the ghosts who are bound to him (notice how after the Invisible Reprise he doesn't have background dancers anymore until the wedding??), and he can't leave the house. He is BaNiShEd! DiSaVoWeD! And its going to be really fucking hard to get back to where he was before when the only ghosts he has are the goddamn Maitlands.
Then the Deetz finally move in, and he meets Lydia. A 16 yr old goth girl writing a suicide note- who can SEE him. Their first meeting goes almost exactly the same as canon, except Lydia jumps afterwards, still very much suicidal and believing that the Maitlands are unable to make her dad see them.
Barbara's ghosty powers kick in right on time, and she levitates Lydia back to safety. Cue the gushy ass scene that keeps me awake at night, where the Maitlands tell Lydia she doesn't have to do things alone, she can rely on other people, they aren't going to give up on helping her after only one failed attempt :') New Parental Figures Acquired.
Then they fail again and Lydia can't deal. She summons Betelgeuse!
Now to the part that you actually asked about, which was my take on Lydia and Betelgeuse's dynamic sjslkdlsjs. When he first met her on the roof, he was just gonna kill her or steal her soul after being summoned, but in the five minutes they spoke he went from looking down on her, to seeing her as a challenge, then to downright respect by the time she pushed him off the roof lmao. Even at her most vulnerable emotional state she doesn't let herself get pushed around, and even takes the time to actively fuck with him. Mad respect.
Lydia has dealt with enough predators to recognize the glint in his eye right off the bat. She enjoys taking some of her anger out on him, since he clearly needs something from her and won't be properly retaliating. When the dinner party thing happens, she figures she was going to kill herself anyways, what more could a demon possibly do?
At this point Betelgeuse is just delighted. As an immortal, boredom and being trapped are two of his worst nightmares, and this girl just handed him some freedom and goddammit she's interesting. Most people would cower when a demon shows their true form in the middle of the living room, but she just ran up to him and told her dad "this is what you get!" Like bitch! He's sold! He wants to hang out with this fucked up breather.
Okay summary time because I could Go On. Betelgeuse wants to be needed, he wants people who can't leave him, and he wants to be free to do whatever he likes. Lydia needs him, but she also seems to genuinely like him, which isn't really a thing he's used to. Suddenly he feels the need to constantly impress her, he loves making her laugh, he loves listening to her talk about weirdo shit, and he loves how she isn’t as uptight as other breathers are about him doing things like- summoning snakes out of a pizza box and having them maul the face of the delivery guy.
Lydia just wants to be seen and accepted for who she is, and someone she can rely on when things are hard. Betelgeuse is literally the only person in the five years since her mom died (yeah in my AU its been 5 yrs not 6 months) who she has been able to rely on to keep her physically safe. Who has no issue with her talking about weird/gross things, and who actively encourages her to let out her emotions instead of keeping them pent up.
But this sudden release of all the anger, pain and frustration she’s kept inside her is what leads to this new, crueler attitude she picked up. She laughs at Betelgeuse chasing a child with a fake disembodied head, laughs at the pizza guy writhing with snakes biting his face, and mockingly joins the dance of the three possessed people because she is just... dissociating. And why should she care about other ppl’s pain anyway, when they ignored hers all this time? She rides the power high of having a demon enamored with her, backing up her anger with literal fire. It’s extremely self-destructive and unhealthy! :)
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idio-cies · 3 years
Text
Jatp- Perfect Harmony Dissection
Holy Moly this show has taken me by surprise in the best possible way.
I forgot how good Kenny Ortega is... and omg the dynamics in this show are just *chefs kiss* anyway that’s for another post
All of these songs left an impression with me, but Perfect Harmony just got the cogs working in my brain so I wanted to dissect it because I can’t stop thinking about it.
This will be long but I hope people will bear with me.
I found out that Madison and Charlie wrote this one together for the show, so that’s cool. So, even if this is Julie’s fantasy/daydream, it objectively also has “Luke’s” input as well, considering Madison and Charlie were writing with the characters in mind.
The lead up to this song is Julie realising she is falling for Luke, and has Luke on the brain, so she slips up with calling Nick, Luke yadayada significant to say her crush has changed as well blah blah blah.
I first thought it was strange that they are all in black? They weren’t performing for anyone other than for merit. However Black is of course associated with death, mystery etc, but in this context ,with them being “fancy” it deems them as more elegant than anything. I like using this site for colour reference. Please make of it what you will, but I’m sticking with classy and mysterious with this performance.
Then I noticed how Julie and Nick are the centre of attention, plus Nick and Julie seem to improvise? They aren’t doing as the others are. Whether they are meant to or not. I think this is meant to draw parallels, with Nick sliding on the floor and Luke tumbling, then also the lift, how here it’s short and sweet, yet with Julie and Luke there are two and the second is drawn out and more meaningful etc.
I think she must be dancing normally in reality throughout this, but I’ll come back to that later.
So let’s get into this song.
“Step into my world”- I find this interesting because Luke is the one stepping over into hers, but also this is like some “in-between” that they're in;  significant of the Limbo that the guys are currently stuck in and also the fact that Julie is the bridge. The world is probably metaphorical for music as Luke helps re-establish it in Julie and is also the guy where music is his whole world, as he lets all of his emotions out and connects with people. It’s a running theme being called up again. However, you cannot deny the possible connotation of Julie potentially stepping over with them. It’s also ironic as Luke “steps” into Julie’s world “I’m sorry we came into your life” - Luke, ep 1, and literally steps over here.
“Bittersweet love story about a girl”- undeniable. Their story is bittersweet. Impossible to be together; yet have a connection that runs so deep.
But now we see the scenery, and it’s all monochrome and the candles just scream romance, but also to me, of serenity.
I mean even the dancefloor reflects to make it look as if they are dancing on water or in an in between world. The reason why I point out monochrome gives the intention of “black and white” there is a lack of complexity, it is clear about how true their bond is, and to them it isn’t complex. Also I can’t help but think of yin and yang which can also be included here as they balance each other out. Julie yin, Luke yang. This is ironic considering Julie is always symbolised with light and Luke the contrast with a dark and being, you know, dead.
I also came across a gifset of the parallels to dirty dancing that Perfect Harmony dance had, and again, the colours are flipped with the pair which is just... interesting in this instance.
“Shook me to the core  “Voice like an angel, never heard before”- pretty simple, Luke has always been amazed with Julie’s talent, plus a metaphor commonly attached to Julie, being called an angel. He is also calling her unique. Passage of touch.
But then we get the touch. So I think this whole hand passage thing is reflected in the time they tried to hold hands, then the last time and they could then touch. In this instance though it’s like Julie is the one being resurrected. Again, this could be another metaphor of his hand in helping her find her music again, but you cannot overlook the other implications.
So here is where they dance. I am no dance expert, but dance does have it’s own language that I think everyone can interpret, but I will try my best to explain. I also think “harmony” can be a way to express dance partners as well.
“Here in front of me”- I do think this is in reference being able to touch them, but the drawing up to her hands is so interesting because of the eye contact and draw. It’s more intimate.
Then they go into something similar to what the routine is meant to be in reality, but instead they make it like a pulse on the line “they’re shining so much brighter”
I point out a pulse because it’s “living” and it just juxtaposes with who Julie is talking about; the guys.
A twirl and lift on “than I have ever seen”- This is Julie talking about the guys. Ray calls them angels and then at the end of season they literally freaking glow so... (also pronoun change to collective when Julie starts singing)
“Life can be so mean”- ep 8, after Luke told him their demise would be one of three ways, Julie was going to be hurt all over again. Julie and Flynn had an understanding that the world was being cruel when they were discussing it. Also I just feel their dance here is like they are interpreting a rough ride/rollercoaster. They swing arms then tuck and twist.
“But when he goes, I know he doesn’t leave”- Luke will be in her heart, like she found with her Mum. She did let them go, and she understands she will have to do that, but they will live on in her heart.
Also hand over heart, as she “falls” into him and he doesn’t let her fall. That’s just cute.
“The truth is finally breaking through”- either their feelings or just what will be revealed to us. Though they are parted and Luke does the spinning on the ground so I expect a pitfall somewhere along the way (probs Caleb)
But he rolls right back to her
“Two worlds collide when I’m with you”- Well, the fact that they are the living and the dead.. so. Plus in-between. Don’t know how to interpret the dance here, I just like the swishy steps
“A voice is rising so, so high”- how Julie comes out of her shell. Also can’t help but link to the angel motif. Plus, Julie is lifted up, she is the catalyst, she is rising up in fame really. Luke is one of the people who helps her soar as well.
“We come to life, when we’re in perfect harmony”- Julie always being told she looks “alive again” when she’s doing music again.  Music and playing with Julie is what makes Luke and the guys feel alive. I gotta say, Charlie and Madison do exhibit some good harmonising.
The lift that happened is like the improv that Nick and Julie do, but then Luke and Julie here make eye contact as she comes down again, but goes back to similar to the dance she is meant to be doing. Until she reaches up on the line “We say we’re friends”, he also helps lift them up.
“We play pretend”. I mean, they kinda do. Luke tries to pass off his feelings with the guys, but that boy is WHIPPED.
“You’re more to me”- right off the bat, I like it. Arms out and a hug. YES. Also just look at that bliss on her face, bless her.
“We create” well yes they create “the perfect harmony”
The cut off is abrupt as Julie snaps back to reality. Then she looks in the mirror and realises Luke isn’t there and that she must’ve gone insane. This is what gets me. I think this is the moment that she realises that her feelings for Luke are deeper than she realised and I think she truly thought that they may have been dancing together in the end.
Is this just an extremely vivid daydream, because she had one of these when she mentally performed “I got the Music” and she must’ve done something during that time as she took someone’s drumsticks during her little renaissance. So what happened in real life? Did she just dance around a little, humming a bop? I just... I imagine that this is just a very lucid daydream, which is fair enough, relatable, but it just interacts so much with real life rather than actually just being all in her head. I just find it interesting.
The full version has some lines that I also want to point out. In the second verse there are these lines:
”You set me free”- Luke sings this line which can mean that she will set his soul free- she is a part of his “unfinished business”
“You and me together is more than chemistry”- Julie sings this line. We know that chemistry was pointed out by Alex and Reggie to Luke, and I believe Flynn also says about them being an appealing pair when performing. But they are more than chemistry. I mean they do work well together and they care about each other deeply, but I also can’t help but think of the “signs” her mother was giving her, and believing that the guys were sent to her.
“Love me as I am, I’ll hold your music here inside of my hands”- This is sung by both of them. They already do this, but holding their music in each other’s hand is interesting. I guess this is saying about trust and that they will do it together. I also think this relates to being able to finally hold hands. It’s like the saying “Whatever’s mine is yours”. They share pain, they share lyrics, their passion for music etc.
Then in the bridge we have the lines “I feel your rhythm in my heart”- I have a feeling that they are in sync with each other, they can immediately click and tune in with a melody. It’s also ironic as Luke doesn’t have a heart.
“You are my brightest burning star”- Luke sings this line. It makes sense. As I have said previously, Julie is this beacon of light, Luke clearly is in awe of her and inspires him. He also straight up calls her a star in ep 9 as well
“I never knew a love so real”- oh man, the irony. Their connection is pure and true, it’s just so annoying that he’s a ghost
“We’re heaven on earth, melody and words”- again with the metaphor of the middle ground where I suppose Julie sits. I understand the idiom and the bliss that they feel, and the connection they have and share with people. It’s just interesting as at the moment earth is currently Luke and the guys’ afterlife.
Anyway, that has been my dissection of Perfect Harmony. Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far 😅
PS. the lack of visual aids is because Tumblr hates me, I apologise
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starlithan · 3 years
Text
I Promise
Part 4
Siren Han/ Reader (Ft. Choi San ATEEZ)
Word Count:3350 words
Warnings: None so far
Summary: I'm not good at it so lets just begin
prev...….next
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Part 4:
Minho’s POV:
I can't believe this, why, why of all the people I have to be the one who sees these messed up things?, “you sure that was a mermaid?” I asked the person for like the fifth time, the guy was terrified, “yes I swear it had a blue tail and black hair, and red eyes, I don't know the exact way she looked, do you think I'm crazy too?” I sighed again and rubbed my temple, “no sir, for the last time I don't think you're crazy, trust me they very much do exist.. And I'll take your case and investigate don't worry” with that I got up and left the buzzing coffee shop.
A few days ago if someone told me that mermaids existed id likely slap there face, but now *sigh* id believe them, totally not giving another minute of thought, I walk on the pavement the sun setting on me, mind thinking of my next destination, but my mind was now clouded with weird thoughts
What if Y/n is in danger?
What if I made a mistake in judging Han ?
What if he's the one who's behind all the killing and disappearance?
And why in the world was this all hidden?, why did the police not investigate this, my head was spinning and I realized that I had walked all the way to the beach, obviously I cant investigate this, the murder was like a month ago there might be no evidence, I got to head home, the file was in my hand, the cold breeze was blowing through my hair, unlike Y/n she gets relaxed when the cold breeze hits her but not me i get more anxious of what's gonna happen next.
I got home and just stood before the door for a minute. I needed to collect my thoughts before I saw him.
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Han ’s Pov;
She ran away, SHE LITERALLY RAN AWAY…….. I mean I was kind of expecting it but still, I sigh as my hands go on my neck, did i…. Did I perhaps mess..up?, did she not like it?, or was it too soon?.... Come on Han Jisung, how could you not have read the mood? As I was about to swear at myself again, the door opened, I turned to see who it was and saw Minho Hyung standing outside, glaring at me. I swear if human eyes were replaced with laser beams, I would have been dead long ago.
Taking that as a clue to leave, I turn around and slowly walk to the bathroom. “We need to talk,” He said, “gosh I'm dead” I whispered under my breath “not yet” he said and went outside 
ears of a bat .
I followed him outside and we walked for a while, after several minutes of walking Minho Hyung stopped dead in his track, and i did the same, mind filled with endless thoughts of what's gonna happen, he turns around and looks at me, no he stares at me, he gives me a full scan and then opens the file in his hand, and then shoves it in my direction, I take the file and blink a bit.
Why would he give me this?
Putting my thoughts aside, I scan my eyes over it “was it you” he asks, i look up “what?” I ask giving him a full confused look, “wait you cant read” he says and brings his hand forward, but I retreat a bit “I can, we sirens learn how to read and write, for crisis like this” I say “and this file is talking about a mysterious murder at sea by a mermaid, so what do I have to do with it” I ask, He looks at me again, this time with a look of confusion “well your the only mermaid I meat so…. Be honest is it you”
To be honest at that exact moment I wanted to pick up a rock and hit it hard on the nearest jellyfish, but this is not the proper moment to lose it Han  so I sighed instead “I really don’t know why humans compare us with mermaids, “look Hyung mermaids and Sirens are different mermaids are scarier and are more close to a fish and we Sirens look more like humans, and I can tell you this was done by a mermaid because mermaids eat human hearts in hopes to become like them they are highly stupid….if you need my help to crack this case I’ll help” I said moving my hands in many ways possible, he looked at the floor and then went in a deep trail of thought, which trust me was a long wait.
“Okay fine I trust you for now, and yes I need your help tomorrow at 5 pm k” I nodded and we headed back. I hope whoever was the victim did not die in the sea or near it
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Y/n’s POV:
I was startled, confused, happy many emotions in one and who wouldn’t be after that kiss especially, I look at Darong who was sleeping peacefully while I sat at the chair at the corner of my room mind drifting in my thoughts, in moments like these I wanna take a walk by the sea but I can’t cuz he might be sleeping on the couch which is near the door to be honest I don’t have the guts to even pass by there. God. No 
If Minho found out about this he is gonna kill him. I shook my head, sweet thoughts Y/n sweet thoughts, I mean by now everyone should know that I’m an over thinker. An over thinker of extreme level. I slowly opened the door and peeked outside to see the lights off, which meant it was pretty dark, so I can slowly sneak out and make my way to the beach.
I do exactly that, in the execution of my plan I slowly tiptoe my way to the door and lucky me I make it, now the challenge was opening the door cuz the damn door makes too much noise for mere simple movement, let’s just hope he’s a deep sleeper, I slowly open the door a little and squeeze my way outside, I close the door and sigh in relief and make my way to the beach and sit down in the cold soft sand.
It’s so peaceful, that I never realized it, suddenly I feel a small sting in my right hand I look at it but can’t see anything, must be a muscle pain I sigh and divert my attention back to the sea, the reason why I’m afraid of the sea is sharks lol I think everyone has the same reason. “It’s nice isn't it?” a voice behind me says I turn around to see my brother standing and smiling with a blanket in his hands, he sits down and places the blanket on both of our shoulders.
“Hey” I say softly as he replies back with a smile “nice to see you enjoying the moment” he says and I smile we both sit there silently staring at the endless sea “what really brings you here if it’s me I should tell you I’m perfectly capable of handling myself” I say he laughs and ruffles my hair “I know, I know and no I didn't come here because of you I was posted here” he says and I give my eyes a little squint to indicate that I don’t believe you “what?” He says laughing, I sigh and look at the sea “I don’t know why they would send Korea's greatest detective to a place where crime hardly happens” I say as I hear him sigh “same I don’t even know too but hey isn't it good I’m here we’ll get to spend some quality family time” he says “yeah” I answer silently. 
Then we go back to being silent, after few moments of dead but peaceful silence “if there’s anything that’s bothering you, know that I’m waiting throughout the season” he says and I stop remembering the story of the flower that waited for the Prince through all the seasons, I smile
He remembers 
“And I will always be there for you, waiting through all the seasons” I smile and put my head on his shoulder.
“I’m Glad your here”
____________________________
The next day comes by pretty quickly, as we all get dressed up and sit on the table, barely meeting eyes with Han , but I could make out the blush on his face and I chuckle a little, so I’m not the only one.
“I’m hungry what should we eat” after a whole day of being locked in my room reading, skimping breakfast we all sat down to decide what to eat, after moments of brainstorming I come up with an idea “I know a good chicken place here” I say as both Han  and Minho’s eyes light up, I laugh a little they look like small puppy’s wagging their tails at the sound of treat.
We all got up and headed to get ready and wear our shoes. The sky was clear today, our walk was as silent as the grave itself but none of us complained.
“We’re here” I announced as I hoped in front of the door, nothing makes me more happy than chicken itself, I pushed the door open and made my way in the shop, the shop was quiet not a soul in sight 
Is he not here?
Suddenly a loud thud came from the kitchen and I ran, my first guess was that halmonie fell, my second guess was it was a ghost. As I got to the kitchen San sat on the ground looking at the dishes which were now half broken and half not, “Are you okay?” I said as he looked up at me surprised, I went to his side, “yeah I’m fine, how come your here you should have called me up is everything okay?” He asked as I helped him up, he brushed his knees with his hands, I smiled at the kindness and nodded my head “we came here to have some chicken” I said San placed the last dish in the bin and gave me a questioning look “we?” He asked and glanced behind me to see Han  leaning on the door and my brother looking at the now cleaned floor with awe, “uhhh hello Han  and…..officer Minho?” He said, I turned to my brother as he smiled and waved at San, “you guys know each other?” Me and San said at the same time to each other, I smiled “yeah he’s my brother” I said, “ohhh well we met at the grocery store he helped me drop some heavy boxes to the shop” he said, which pretty much cleared up everything.
The table was filled with chicken and we all sat down including San, “thanks for the food” we all said and San smiled, the chicken was so good, I reached out for another one but my hand touched something I looked up to see Han ’s hand was upon my hand and his eyes were now on me, I silently withdraw my hands, and stare at my plate, Han  picks up the chicken and silently places it in my plate and gets up “Minho Hyung let’s go it’s 5pm”. I stop and for the first after a while I stare at him and then my brother, “where are you guys going?” I asked, Minho got up and placed his chair back “I have something I need his help with, bye San '' he smiled and they left.
“So they look close” San said and to be honest I wanted to laugh at that thought, “you think?” I said as I went back to eating my chicken, San looked up, “what they aren't?” he said but I'll leave him to figure that out
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Han ’s POV:
It was now 6, the sun was almost about to set and yet we found nothing, to be honest how could we, the mermaid would have escaped a long time ago, but still we looked around the beach again and again, “I guess that sums up our search, we found nothing” Hyung said and kept on walking at a steady pace, “we still haven't checked out that cave yet” I said and pointed at the cave in front of us, he looked at the cave then back at me, “you sure?” he said and I nodded.
The cave was dimly lit, we looked not to sharply, but found nothing, “let's go home” Hyung said as he sighed, I nodded as we started to head back, when we heard a voice, the voice sounded like someone was struggling, the both of us turned our heads towards the sound, Hyung started to walk towards it when I stopped him “let me” I said as I told him to close his ears as tight as he could, and he gave me a questioning look but did what I said. I opened my mouth and started to sing, a siren's voice can also enchant mermaids/merman's, my words coming out as a sweet command, this was the same song I used to enchant Y/n but it somehow didn't work on her, my voice echoed in the caves, I played with the words and started to slowly walk towards the now quiet struggling sound, and as I thought we found our culprit, a mermaid stuck in a fishnet, her eyes were now yellow gold, hypnotized by my song, with my hand I motioned for Hyung to come, when he came near and saw the mermaid his eyes widened, not at her beauty (cuz they aren't pretty), with that we carried her home still hypnotized.
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Y/N’S POV:
I came back home tired, but me and San had lots of fun, I walked in and Darong came running but then she stopped and looked at me and then went back “HEY WHO DID YOU EXPECT” I yelled, she must have been expecting Han  for sure the two of them are close now I guess, I rubbed the back of my neck, boy was I tired, I went to my room and placed my bag on the bed and went to the bathroom.
I washed my face and stared at my reflection, black hair coming out of my headband a little, I should take a bath. I thought and went to the bath to fill it up, but what I saw there was unbelievable.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
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Y/n’s POV:
THERE WAS A FREAKING MERMAID IN MY BATHTUB, I tumbled back about to slip I close my eyes, but that contact with the floor never came I slowly open my eyes to see myself in Han ’s arms, I look up to see wide eyes as if he was in shock, Minho came running “WHAT WHAT!?” he said, as Han  lets go of me and I stand up, clearing my throat I look at the creature now glaring and hissing at us, “why is there a mermaid in my bathtub?” I ask pointing at the creature, and looking at Han , he glances at my brother then at the mermaid “well…..ask your brother” he says turning away, Ask my brother, why I mean why would he…
I turn to my brother, and he gives Han  a panicked look, then scratches his head “well it's complicated but, there was this unsolved case I got and it involved a certain mermaid killing people, so I asked Han  to help me crack it and we found her and so here we are now” he said, his voice getting faint after every word, after that he looks at the ground like I've scolded him for stealing candy or something.
I sigh averting my gaze to the mermaid, “okay fine but .. both of you .. stop looking like kicked dogs” I say as my brother, Han  and I head outside the bathroom i carefully close the door, “*yawn* I'm gonna go sleep then, night” my brother says and runs away after ruffling my hair, I blink sometimes i wonder What exactly is happening in his head?.
I turn to look at Han , he was staring at the door, trying to make sense at what just happened, I smile, he looks more paler today, pale and tired, like the stupid idiot I am without thinking I reach up and touch his forehead, he turns to me, when my eyes meat his, I saw those eyes loosing there color and he was definitely cold, way cold for a normal person, or siren.
“Are you … feeling okay..?” i ask he nods and stares at me, his hand comes up, and cups my face, my freaking breath stops, we just stay like that for a minute, suddenly the color of his eyes change to yellow and then back to his normal eye color, he hisses and places his hand on his head, “Hey! Han , Han ” I panic, he recovers quickly and then gets up and heads out of my room, “Han !” I say, he turns around and smiles, “I'm fine” he says and leaves.
I hope he really is alright.
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Han ’s POV:
shit , shit, shit, I tumble my way to the sofa, this is bad this is super bad, my head hurts so freaking much, I breath in through the nose trying to calm myself down, but I cant my ears are buzzing and I'm hearing voices.
Born of sea turns to sea form
Born of land bleeds and turns to sand
But cursed to be a part of the sea, doesn't break easily
Does Not remember anything 
Love can break the biggest spell
Can tame the curliest of beasts
My eyes widen, these are the same voices I heard when I was a siren, back in the sea, I hiss as the pain sharpens, I rush out of the house and to the sea, breathing I try to concentrate on the cool breeze, the pain stops but I can still make out those voices, like a faint whisper, what does that even mean?.
After a minute or two the voices die down too, and I take a sigh of relief, I take out my necklace, the vile, half or less the half of it was filled, but I had made my decision, I can't and I wont hurt her and at that point it hit me, “Gosh love sucks!!” I sigh and ruffle my hair .
_____________________________
Y/n’s POV:
I hear hissing and mumbling, my eyes snap open and I glance at the time 3:00AM, I sigh, whoever it is better shut up, I get up and focus on the voice and it surprisingly lead me to my bathroom, I carefully open the bathroom door to find the mermaid, her eyes were glowing yellow, just like how Han ’s were, she was saying something, I came near her to see what she was mumbling on about,
Finish the job, kill her, Finish the job…..
She kept repeating that on and on, and then suddenly she goes still, eyes back to their original shape, she looked at me and I could make out tears in her eyes she whispered to which I made out “help me” and she repeated that again and again, I came near her and she suddenly  pulled me closer, when I looked in her eyes they were yellow again “seeeeee” she hissed 
Flash's came in front of me, moments, all those horrible memories, I tried to escape from her grip or escape from those moments but I couldn't, the more i tried to pull away the more horrible those memories became.
When she finally let go of my arm I tumbled back, my back hit the wall of the bathroom, cold, that's when I realized I was shaking, tears coming out of my eyes.
“You see?” she said 
“W-what… a-are you t-t-trying to s-show me?” I ask trembling
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It Was All Good...Then in Comes Kenny
For previous parts, click HERE
Pairings - Adam Page x OFC, Matt Jackson x OFC x Kenny Omega, Chuck Taylor x OC
Categories - Fluff, Angst, Almost Smut
Warnings/Promises - Cussing (like always), sexual jokes, and well uh, almost smut
Summary/Desc - Adam and Gabby get into an arguement, Brianna has a rough day, Parker and Chuck finally talk, and Adriana gets into a, well, entanglement.
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Back in Gabby’s life, her and Adam had bought a house in Ann Arbor Michigan where they planned to raise their baby. A baby boy named Ashen Page. 8 months into her pregnancy she was on lock down not knowing when the baby would come, other on Adam’s hand he still had to wrestle.
“He’s not home yet?” Parker said, “Nope.” Gabby sighed. Gabby and Parker were facetiming while she sat on their couch, waiting for Adam to arrive home. Minutes later she heard the sound of the door being unlocked, “Ok he’s here I’ll call you back.” She hung up the phone. Adam entered the house, hair in ponytail, luggage draped over his shoulder. “Hi baby!” Adam dropped his bags and ran to where Gabby was, “Hi!” 
They kissed, when Gabby noticed something...off, “Have you been drinking again?” “Of course not, babe.” Adam placed his hand on a frustrated Gabby's stomach. While she was pregnant, her and Adam promised he’d sober up, unless it was drinking for work. She immediately moved his hand off her, “I’m not fucking dumb Adam, I can taste the whisky in your breath.” she rolled her eyes. They sat down on the couch, “I was stressed about work and you and Ashen, I just had to.”
“You sound fucking dumb, if I can’t drink for 9 months, you can’t either.” Gabby shook her head in disappointment. “When are you gonna become more understanding Gabrielle, like fuck!”
“More understanding?! I’ve been nothing but understanding bro.” A tear ran down her face. “It’s like you want me to be this person that can wrestle, and be a great dad, and pleasure you, plus be your emotional support system? I can’t do it all.” “So what? Am I asking for too much? Because if I went to Joey and asked him to be my emotional support system, or fuck it. Go to him for sex them what would you do Adam?” Gabby wiped her tears, crossing her arms. “Really? Maybe I wasn’t wrong about you and Kenny then!” he shouted. 
“What is it Adam? You think we fucked? Kissed? Want each other? I’ve told you it's not like that at all. You're the only man I want.” Gabby teared up again. Adam couldn’t bear to see Gabby cry anymore, so he pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry about the drinking babe.” “It’s ok, I love you”. Adam used the tips of his thumbs to wipe the tears off her face, lifting Gabby’s shirt rubbing her baby bump. “Love you so much more.”
All the way over in Jacksonville, Brianna was getting ready to film a BTE bit. She had agreed to film with Brandon and Frankie Kazarian, and was a bit excited. “Alright, Brianna you ready?” Brandon asked, Bri nodded enthusiastically. “Kaz you ready?” She looked over at Frankie and he was glaring at her. “Yeah, I’m ready.” He said in a sharp tone.
She went back and got into place and Brandon started filming.
Bri was hunched over looking through Twitter on her phone, not watching where she was going. “OW- What the shit!?” Frankie Kazarian yelped. Bri quickly looked away from her phone to see that her foot was on top of Frankie’s heel. “Oh my god. I am so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going-” she rambled. Frankie was steamed. He was already angry, as usual, and this made it a MILLION times worse.
“You know what I am sorry for BRI-ANNA?” He asked quite loudly which made everyone turn to look at him. “I'm sorry that someone as talented as Joey Janela wasted his hard earned money on someone like you.” Bri opened her mouth to apologize again but was cut off. “HOW are you even back here? I don’t know if you have read the fucking signs EVERYWHERE, but this is for talent only! What talent do you have Bri? Besides getting on your knees for people other than the Lord himself?” Kazarian was extremely dramatic with everything he said during BTE- but this seemed a little too real.
“Like honestly, as soon as you get here you have Marq Quen following you around like you’re important; and then the very next day I SEE you talking to Cash Wheeler- who has only been here for a couple WEEKS?! I’m surprised you didn’t all go in a room together and fuck yourselves, or maybe you did.”
Bri was actually concerned. “How the hell does he know who I’ve been with… this wasn’t in the script?” She began to notice everyone around listening into her conversation whispering to each other. “This is so embarrassing.” she thought. “What else have you done here? You’re by far the LEAST relevant outta of your little friend group, and you crave attention so much - so now you got it! Should I go off and check everyone you’ve batted your eyelashes at since you’ve been here?” 
Bri shook her head no, but it was too late. “There was Marq of course, then when you got bored with him you crawled over to the new hottest thing; Cash Wheeler. But do they know who you’ve had between them?” Bri’s eyes slightly widened.  “You had made heart eyes, with not one but ALL members of Team Taz. What is wrong with you?! Two of them have families of their own, You damn homewrecker!” She saw some of the people backstage shake their heads. 
“Kaz… stop.” she mumbled under her breath. 
“Nah nah, don’t be quiet now you fucking cheater! Everyone has heard you, like when you thought since you were in a janitor closet with Austin Gunn no one would notice the strange moans coming out of them?” Shit. Bri was tired of hearing this man exposing her, “I told you - that wasn’t me. This arena is old, could have been a ghost Frankie.” she lied of course, but she would do anything to get out of this situation.  
“Last time I checked we were at a wrestling arena not a damn haunted mansion. Everyone is smart enough to know the difference between a moan full of fucking pleasure from a cry from a ‘ghost’.” 
Brandon Cutler began to lower his camera but Kazarian yelled at him. “Don’t you fucking dare cut this! We’re all about being real, well THIS right here,” as he points as Brianna, “Is as real as we’re gonna get. Because some people are stupid enough to let bitches like this come in here and suck off the whole roster.” Bri was shocked. 
“Who are you calling a bitch? I know the least important member of SCU isn’t talking. Let me talk to Scorpio.” she rolled her eyes, there was no way in hell this was getting posted online. “Sorry, he’s trying to stay away from women that seduces half of the indie wrestlers on Dark.” 
Bri slapped Frankie with tears starting to form into her eyes, “You ain’t shit.” and she meant every word. She didn’t care that Cutler was calling her name, or even some of the wrestlers trying to stop her- she had to get out of not only this situation, but the arena as fast as possible.
The Elite
The The Elite
The Elite
The The Elite
The Elite
The The Elite
Superkick PAAARRRR-
Tan Legs
“Why are there so many rooms in this damn arena?” Adriana questioned as she was acting like she was looking for Tony Khan’s office. She had been searching everywhere as Brandon Cutler followed her with his camera. The camera cut to her in front of the Elite locker room, raising her hand to knock at the door. A relieved Kenny popped in the doorway. “Oh Adriana, am I glad to see you!” He moved over and invited Adriana into the room, closing the door behind him. 
“Well, I would love to sit here with you Kenny, but could you show me where Khan’s office is-?” Kenny pushed his finger onto her lips making her shush. “Shhh, I can show you where his office is. But I need something from you since Matt is busy handling phone calls.” 
Her face lit up to the mention of Matt’s name, but she had to stay in character, so she immediately nodded and mouthed an okay. She sat down in the chair, across from the couch Kenny was sitting on. “You’re a little far, wouldn't you say?” he said as he began to shift to the edge. “Uhm, that depends what exactly am I doing?” As she looked at him with confusion. 
“Just move a little closer.” Kenny demanded. “We gotta get this over with.” Adriana’s mouth slightly fell open, in shock of the words coming out of his mouth. “I- I’m sorry. What do you mean get this over with-” Kenny chuckled, “No one was out there right- you came alone?” She nodded quickly, unable to speak; she could feel the room closing in on her, making her move her chair slightly to where he was on the couch. He looked at her weird, “Haha a little closer than that Adri.” 
He said as he leaned over folding his hands. “Well, how close do I have to be?” she tilted her head up giving him her full attention. “I mean…you’re still a little far for what we have to do.” She began to pull her chair forward, but Kenny pushed her back down lightly and stood up. “What WE have to do?” She asked, not understanding the signals he was giving to her. At this point she was losing it on the inside, he’s never been so forward with her. His hands began to adjust the band of his gray shorts. 
“Yea, hey you mind getting on your knees?” he asked with all seriousness in his voice making Adriana almost fall out of her chair. From the corner of her eye she could see Brandon’s eyes widened a bit. She looked up and saw a slight smirk from Kenny, which made her roll her eyes. “He knows what he’s doing.” she thought in the inside of her head. Kenny stood there , looking stupid as Adriana came back to reality. 
“O-on my knees? Are you sure?” As she began to crawl out the chair. “Uh yea- I know this isn't your first time, but I thought you would be more prepared.” he joked. She had almost let out a laugh. “Oh, and take that ponytail holder on your wrist and tie your hair up- this could get a little messy.” as he pushed his shorts down his legs- making her face to face with his package. She felt Brandon move closer to get a better shot of her face, and she wished he hadn’t. She shot her head back, letting out a sigh. “Damn, he is bigger than I thought.” She closed her eyes, and tried to gain control overself. She did a slight prayer as she closed her eyes and opened her mouth slightly, waiting for Kenny. When he placed it in her mouth she was shocked, it was thick… but cold. 
She opened her eyes when she heard Kenny freaking out. “ADRIANA! STOP BEING RIDICULOUS! DID YOU SEE HOW WHITE MY LEGS ARE?” Adriana also started freaking out as she spat out a bottle of tanning spray. “STOP LOOKING AT MY RIDICULOUS QUAD DEVELOPMENT AND GET THIS GOD DAMN QUICK TAN ON MY LEGS STAT!” Kenny yelled.
 “YES- TAN! RIGHT, NOTHING ELSE.” as she scurried to pick up the bottle.  Adriana had struggled unloosing the cap not only because of the commotion, but because of the fact she thought she was about to get filmed for a porno with Kenny Omega. “ADRIANA! HURRY UP. THE COLOR OF MY ARMS, AND THE COLOR OF MY FACE DO NOT MATCH THE COLOR OF MY LEGS!” He pouted as she finally shook the can getting ready to spray but then it accidentally slipped out of her hands. “SPRAY MY LEGS!” 
She shot the cap throwing it somewhere in the room. “God, I’m an idiot.” she said to herself. “Sorry Kenny, I didn’t know they were this pale-” “MAKE THEM ORANGE!” He ordered, making Adriana spray faster. “Eh it’s looking… pretty good!” he said while examining his now newly tanned legs. “I knew I could count on you. Thanks.” he said. 
“You’re so welcome, sorry I don’t know why that was so hard for me to do.” She said as she got up from her odd position to sit on the end of the couch. “Why were you so freaked out-” He asked as he spotted the spray can top in the corner of the room. “I’m not sure honestly, it’s just something I do nowadays.” She lied, but he didn’t think anything of it. 
He took the can out of her hand and popped the cap back on as he sat next to her, “Anyways, since Matt isn’t in here. You should get over here and suck me o-”
Stolen Bit Partner
“Did you see how big his biceps were?” John Silver said, walking down the hallway with Alex and Parker, arms hooked. “You were right John, his milkshake sure does bring all the boys to the yard.” Parker said, chuckling slightly. Alex was about to protest what Parker was saying, but agreed. No one could deny that Wardlow was a beautiful human. The trio kept walking, talking about the man who’s locker room they had just left, when they bumped into another trio, one that Parker was very familiar with.
The Best Friends and Orange Cassidy.
They all stopped in their tracks. That’s when Alex detached from Parker, him and Chuckie going around in a slow circle, sizing each other up. Trent and John just looked at each other. And in the middle of all of this, Cassidy took off his glasses, and started looking Parker up and down.
The rotating finally stopped when Chuck spoke up, “You stole my bit partner, Reynolds.” “Oh, YOUR bit partner?”
And so the argument began, Trent bending down to get in Silver’s face, and Chuck and Reynolds pushing each other back and forth. Behind it all, Parker looked over to Orange and waved, but when he didn’t even give a sup motion, she turned away, a defeated look on her face.
“At least I’m not in a cult with a bunch of spooky perverts!” “Well these spooky perverts have a better hug than you guys!”
“What even is a ‘Johnny Hungie’?!” Trent yelled, “Well what the fuck is an ‘olive tit’ TRENT?!” “Boys, Boys! Please!” Parker yelled, standing between all of them. “Did they experiment on your brain!?” Chuck questioned, looking down at Parker. “What- Okay. No they did not experiment on my brain!”
“Did they TRAIN you to say that?” Trent said jumping at Silver. Parker pushed Trent back lightly. “Train Trent? What do you think we are? Some kind of cult?!” John argued. “Yes! That’s exactly what we’re saying.” Chuck answered.
“Y’know what?!” Alex grabbed Parker by the arm, “We’re leaving!”
Parker swatted Alex’s hand, that look on her face. “I think I’m going to...be on Sammy’s vlog instead.” She gave a nervous smile before walking behind the camera, “See ya Brandon.” “Uh, bye.”
Alex pointed his finger in Chuck’s face, Kool-Aid container still in his hand, “This isn’t over.” Reynolds and Silver walked away when Chuck mumbled, “We’re in the middle of a pandemic, keep your hand out my face.” Trent and Cassidy looked at each other while Chuck walked away. Trent shrugged one more time before following.
Orange just sighed, minding his own business.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
The room had conversation and laughter, when Trent spoke up, “Uh, BTE Championship match, triple threat.” The camera panned over to the left, “Marq Quen checking in.” Marq said with a smile, Isiah waving from behind him. The camera panned past Trent to the right, “Parker here, with uh, Chuck Taylor.” Chuck and Parker looked awkwardly at each other before Parker looked back at the camera, “My other friends decided to be dicks and not show up.”
Brandon pointed back towards Trent, who explained the game, “So uh, we’re playing the game Hungry Hungry Hippos, first one to get to two victories wins my BTE championship.”
The next scene showed all of them surrounding a table. “I am a GOAT at this game.” Marq said, rubbing his hands together. Parker pointed at him, “Oh yeah? Well prepare to lose Quen.” 
The game had started, and the game had almost fallen off the table. “Y’all are so aggressive!” Matt Jackson laughed, pointing out how seriously they were taking the game.
Marq had quickly gotten the first victory. Trent and Parker groaning at their defeat.
“Already halfway THERE.” “Shut up!” Trent and Parker said in unison.
And the games went on, until all of them were tied with one victory each.
The three looked at each other, before talking to their “coaches” for a moment. 
They had all returned to the table, and the tiebreaker had started. This round was definitely the most aggressive, with Trent actually trying, Marq jumping up and down making noises, and Parker trying to be as quick as possible.
When all the marbles were gone, they had each counted them up.
Trent had gone first, only having 5. Then Parker counted theirs, having 8. Marq counted the last of the marbles.
“Five, Six,” He pulled out the last marble, “Seven.” Marq had dropped to the ground, while Parker jumped up, knees almost to her chest in victory. “New BTE champ!” Nick said, grabbing the championship and handing it to Parker.
Parker held up the championship, before looking at it, “I have to go rub this in Adriana’s face so she gets mad at me.” She was about to leave the room, when she stepped back, “Oh yeah, I promised Marko I would fight him for this if I won. So next week, we balance KitKats on our heads.” “You’re gonna WHAT?!”
The screen showed Parker vs Marko for next week, for the Being The Elite Championship.
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The Elite The The Elite
What Nick you’re not gonna sing it all with me this time?
Brianna was so embarrassed. How did Frankie even know all that? She kept thinking to herself, “Did Marq tell everyone?” He wouldn’t...right? This was just all too much for her, cause of some stupid mistake.
She stayed outside the arena the whole show, not wanting to show her face in there. Then wrestlers and producers started walking out, some mumbling when they looked over at Bri. She looked over at the people walking out, and saw Marq and Isiah. Marq and Brianna stared at each other, before Marq looked away, almost like he didn’t want to look at her. She watched them pack up and drive off, and she heard a familiar voice call out from behind her, “Hey Brianna!”
She looked over her shoulder and saw Cash walking over to her, and they both started smiling. That smile quickly turned back into a frown, when Dax grabbed Cash by the arm, dragging him away.
Great. 
She went back to staring at the ground, upset. She almost jumped back when someone sat next to her. “They said we can delete it.” Brandon Cutler said, trying to sound sympathetic. “Thank you.” Brianna mumbled. “Look, we got Kaz to calm down, and he’s gonna talk to you about it,” Brandon put his hand on her shoulder before getting up, “Hang in there, alright?”
“Could this day get any worse?” Brianna thought to herself.
When of course, with Brianna’s luck, it could. She felt something drop on her head, then her arm, then ankle. It’s like the rain started on command. “This is so fucking cliche.” Brianna said, standing up and walking to her car, not without one of her heels breaking. 
She waited until she got in the car, and then she screamed, at the top at her lungs. She just wanted to go to sleep, and find a fucking way to prove Kaz wrong.
Back at the Hotel
It had been months. Months since Parker and Chuck broke up. She wanted to talk to him outside of BTE for months. But she didn’t have the guts to do it.
She was watching tv in her hotel room, thinking about him, like always.
She pulled out her phone and facetimed Gabby, the only person she could really talk to about this stuff. There were a few rings before Gabby picked up, clearly irritated, “Girl it is half past midnight. Why are you calling me?” “I need to talk to him.” “Talk to who?” “Chuck! I can’t keep putting it off anymore.”
“Well then just talk to him?” “I can’t just discuss that over the phone.”
“Well, ask if you can talk in person.” Parker nodded, and went to her contacts, and clicked on the one she hadn’t touched in months. She read through the last of his messages to her, she didn’t answer.
It made her feel horrible.
She finally worked up the courage to type it out, “Can we talk? Like in person?”
“Okay, I did it.” “Great, now you just have to wait and see what he says.”
“Gabby, I’m sure he’s sleeping right now. And I can’t blame him if he doesn’t respo-” Parker paused, and looked like she had just seen a ghost. “Parker? Everything okay?” “....He texted back.”
“Well what did he say?!”
“He said of course, and then his room number…” “Well then go!” Parker got up quickly, tripping over her own feet walking to the door. “Wait wait Parker!” “What?”
“Put shoes on, don’t be a hobo.”
Parker laughed, quickly putting on some shoes, before hanging up on Gabby and making her way towards the elevator.
She waited when it opened, Trent coming out the elevator. “Oh, hey.” Parker said, looking at her feet. “He sent me to James’ room so you guys could talk.” Trent said, slightly laughing. Parker didn’t say anything, “Hey, it doesn’t have to be awkward y’know. We’re still cool.”
Parker smiled, and hugged Trent, before getting into the elevator. 
She walked out the elevator, for once walking with some pep in her step. It stayed that way until she reached the front of his door. She reached her hand up, and was about to knock when she put her hand down.
Well, not without hitting the door.
When she realized, she started freaking out. In silence of course. The door creaked open, Chuck and Parker looked at each other. “Do you wanna come in?”
Parker nodded, walking through the doorway. She sat on the couch, rubbing her hands awkwardly, looking at the floor. “So, what did you need to talk about?” He asked, sitting on the opposite side.
She could feel it coming, word vomit, “I made a mistake, and I know I did when I broke up with you, but I couldn’t work up the courage to talk to you cause I know you want nothing to do with me and-” “Wait wait, you still…” “Yes I do, and I know things will never be the same and just...I know this was a mistake.”
“Parker, I have been waiting to talk to you. Just at least when you’re ready. I miss you.”
Parker continued to look at the floor, slightly smiling. Chuck lightly gripped her chin, lifting her head up. “I love you, Parker.” Parker smiled, “I love you too, Chuck.” 
For the first time in months, they shared a kiss. “I missed having my whatever.” Chuck said, foreheads pressed together.
“Now can we please go back to being bit partners John keeps saying my name over and over.” The couple laughed, “Of course, I’ll tell James to stop giving you dirty looks.” “And I’ll tell the spooky perverts to not argue with you anymore.” The couple jumped when they heard the door open.
“I forgot my bag of chips.” Trent said, walking into the room. “God Trent you could’ve texted.” Chuck said, slapping his forehead. “I did. Did I interrupt something important?” Parker and Chuck looked at each other and smiled.
Trent started to “ooo” like he was in middle school. Parker stood up, cheeks red, “Okay on that note I’m leaving.” She started towards the door, “I love you Parker!” Chuck yelled out. “I love you too.” She was out the door when she heard Trent, “OH MY GO-” The door closed, and Parker laughed listening to Chuck yelling at Trent to shut up.
Parker walked towards the elevator, glad to have that situation of her shoulders and to have Chuck back.
“So, what's next for you two?” Trent asked, sitting back on his bed. Chuck looked out the window, “I don’t know yet exactly, I just know that I can’t lose her again.”
Back at Daily’s Place
“Did you see the look on Brandon’s face, it was priceless!” Kenny and Adriana had just finished their BTE bit and were now laughing at themselves for how clever they were. “Dude, I think we’re geniuses. Only we could come up with stuff like this.” Kenny said while holding his stomach from laughing. 
“You know, for a second I thought you were serious.” Adriana said after wiping her tears. Kenny tilted his head to the side. “What are you talking about… my legs were actually white as paper.” She shook her head, “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know that.” Kenny seemed to understand her a bit clearer now as he scooted closer next to her. “Do you really think that I would let you give me head at our job?” He asked with interest in his eyes. She began to start breathing heavily noticing their knees were touching. 
“You’re right - what was I thinking. You’re all business.” She sighed and put her hand on her face covering it up. Kenny thought it was cute how she was trying to hide from this conversation instead of talking about it. “That’s not true. I do childish shit all the time. And if we really wanted to, it would be way more than just head.” 
Adriana felt like she was powerbombed on the apron. “Plus I don’t see you as a person to give head in weird places like this EVP room, in a public bathroom, or even inside of a car.” He added. Her head whipped up so fast she thought it would fall off. “Right, why would I do that? That’s gross and disgusting-” she lied. If only he knew… “What’s gross, having sex with me or giving head in weird places?” She opened her mouth to speak but decided against it. 
He noticed as he rested his hand on her thigh. “I saw the look in your eyes Adriana. The way you looked at me when we did that bit for Being the Elite, is something I won’t be able to get my mind off for a long time. So - I am not saying it has to be today, but soon I want to hangout with you out of work. I want to know the real you.” She was left speechless, once again by Kenny Omega. “I got to go, but I’ll think about it.” 
She got up from the couch and wiped her now sweaty hands on her jeans. Kenny also stood , studying her. The way she avoided eye contact, the way her feet shuffled trying to gain her stuff immediately. His heart started to get louder as she finally looked at him and reached for a hug, making him open his arms. It wasn’t anything like he wanted. It was short and meaningless but he did get the chance to smell the perfume she was wearing and that alone made him swoon. Kenny gave her a wave as he sat back on the couch, “Shit.” he mumbled. “What have I gotten myself into.”
 On the other side of the door, Adriana was trying to come back to reality. “That really just happened.” she thought. “Did you have fun with ‘Spray Tan’ in there?” a voice asked sarcastically. She jumped up and when she turned around she was met with a frustrated Matt Jackson.  “Oh! Jeez you scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know you were here today.” She mentally slapped herself, “I really need to learn how to lie.” 
Matt leaned on the wall looking her over. “Really, last time I checked - I was an EVP. You on the other hand - are not - so what were you doing in this room for that long?” He asked. Adriana bit her lip, they hadn’t seen each other since their session in the car and both of them were aching for more ever since. “I had to record something with Kenny for BTE. It’s not that serious.” Matt ran his hand through his hair shooting his head back. “I saw the segment, Adri.” He plainly said. “Is this what we’re going to do? We’re going to act like what we did was nothing?” He walked closer to her sliding his hands to her waist. He lifted his hand to move some of her hair out of her face and leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Meet me at the Jacksonville Jaguars Stadium at 10 O’clock. And wear a bathing suit.” He hovered his lips over her neck before patting her ass and then walking away. 
Adriana stood there dumbfounded. She had waited a whole week to be able to get to see Matt, since they last met in the car and all she got was teasing. She looked toward the EVP room and sighed. She was so confused with emotions, she needed to get this stuff with Matt out of her system before it was too late. Adriana began her walk to her car, so she could get ready for a night with Matt Jackson.
“I SWEAR NONE OF THESE HOES ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I NEED THEM!” Adriana threw her phone onto the bed after attempting to call Gabby, Parker, and Bri and of course they declined. Every. Single. Time. “Guess I have to go at this alone.” She sighed. She really missed talking to her friends, no matter how annoying they got. She would never feel complete without them. 
She pushed her friends to the back of her mind as she threw clothes out of her suitcase. After 15 minutes deciding which bathing suit to wear she chose a normal two piece with some shorts and a normal tee to go over them. After she changed in the bathroom she grabbed everything she needed and headed out the door. 
She pulled up to the stadium and parked confused on where to enter until her phone buzzed. Matt Jackson : I see your car, we’re the only ones here. So I’ll let you in.” Adriana chuckled. She got out the car fluffing her hair so she appealed somewhat decently. She saw Matt waiting for her at the entrance. 
He picked his head up from his phone and let out a low whistle. “Well damn, I was not expecting this.” He fumbled with his keys as she rolled her eyes. When they finally got in he took her hand and led her to the pool. She removed her shorts and shirt as he did the same. Adriana dipped her toe in removing it as she felt how cold it was. 
Before she could react she was pushed into the pool and when she got to the top for air she saw Matt jumping and doing a cannonball, making water go everywhere. Matt swam around a little before looking over to a shivering Adriana. “Yo-you’re an i-idiot.” Her teeth chattered making Matt laugh. “Ah, stop being a big baby and swim with me.” He slapped water onto her making her gasp. “I think I should wait till it gets w-warmer.” She smudged, making Matt swim over to her. 
“I have a couple ways we could speed up the process.” She smirked. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he backed her up to the edge. He lightly pressed against her, making her let out a small whine. “If you’re going to do something just do it.” She said, clearly impatient. He pressed his lips onto hers, as she kissed back. He began to lower his hands trying to find the part to disconnect her bottom. She smirked into the kiss making him hungry for more as he pushed his tongue onto her bottom lip. She opened her mouth a little, only to hear a “IS ANYONE IN HERE?” Adriana tried to disconnect, but Matt pulled her back. “Whoever it is, will either go away soon or get a free show- I couldn’t care less.” Adriana pushed Matt off making him groan. She heard the door open and was shocked when Kenny Omega came out in swim trunks. 
“Oh, it’s just you guys. What are you doing here?” he asked, confused. “Nothing much, just going for a late night swim.” Adriana lifted her finger to her mouth as she could feel her lip swollen at how hard Matt had bit it. Kenny nodded, “Right… mind if I join you?” He asked. Matt mumbled something too low to understand. “Of course, come on.” She smiled. “There it is again, that damn smile.” He felt weird seeing her in a bathing suit and it was even more weird seeing one of his best friends next to him. 
Matt turnt around and faced Adriana , so Kenny couldn’t hear what he had to say, “He totally just cockblocked me. It had to be on purpose.” He whined. Adriana rolled his eyes, “He didn’t know. Leave him alone, let's just save our first time somewhere other than a public pool.” He scoffed, but he couldn’t stay mad at HER. 
It was Kenny who was the problem, and he would make sure that he stayed out of the way.
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WE’RE BACK FAM!!!! Thanks again to my co-writers @westanaew​ and @adriii-omega​ , it feels great to get back into the series! <3
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smmahamazing · 4 years
Text
Cowboy Blues
InuKag
Word count: 5114
Rating: M for language
A/N: My gift for everyone this White Day!!! Haven't written fanfiction in 10+ years, so here's to hoping this isn't completely terrible LOL. This little fic was inspired by a song of Kesha's titled "Cowboy Blues", and I would recommend putting it on in the background for maximum effect!
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🎵“They say you know when you know, what do you do when it don't, they're saying ‘love it'll happen if it's meant to happen’, but what do you do when it don’t”.🎵
At least Kagome could say that she only has one cat snuggled up with her in bed, although Buyo was big enough to feel like three. She had been laying in bed for the past hour, the feeling of utter defeat pinning her where she lay. Her mind begged her to turn off the music playing through her speakers, but her body resisted any thought of movement. What did it matter in the end anyways? All the hard work she put into the last week and a half was wasted. And she had been doing so well! Up until today that is. As soon as Kagome had came home and crawled into her bed, turning on the music via phone app, she let down the walls she had been building up, giving in to every emotion she had shut away.
It had all started earlier in the day, after Kagome was done at work. She needed to make a simple trip to the gas station, a task that should have only taken her maybe five minutes, but some unseen force in this universe just wanted her to be miserable. Swiping her card at the pump, she jumped at an all too familiar voice calling her name.
“Kagome! Fancy meeting you here!”
‘Ugh.’
“Oh, h-hello Hojo.” Kagome had such a bad case of tunnel vision that she failed to notice her friend’s husband and old schoolmate pull up to the pump right beside her as she inserted the gas nozzle into her tank.
“How have you been Kagome? Ayumi and I haven’t heard from you in a while, we we're starting to get worried.”
“Oh, I’ve just been really busy with work and all, you know how it goes”, Kagome chuckled awkwardly, running her hand through her hair. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with today. And Kagome was pretty sure she was stationed at the slowest pump in all of history.
“Well, it's a good thing I ran into you here! Ayumi wanted to invite you to dinner with us tomorrow.”
‘Ab-so-lut-ely not.’ “No, that’s okay Hojo, I’m not about to put you guys out on Valentine's Day. Don't worry about me, and just enjoy your night together.”
Hojo looked like he was about to argue with her when the pump connected to Kagome's car clicked, letting her know her time at the gas station was finally up. ‘About damn time, too.’
“Well, I’m all finished up here, so I’m going to head out to beat the traffic. I'll talk to you guys later, okay!” Kagome spoke in one breath as she dived into the drivers seat and sped away, leaving Hojo behind looking confused, and mildly worried for his old friend.
Kagome had been avoiding everyone since the beginning of February. She knew that her friends and family meant well. She knew they only wanted to see her happy, but Kagome didn't know if she could do it; another Valentine's Day filled with people throwing her yet another elaborate pity party. If she didn’t know any better, it was like they thought she forgot that she was almost 30 and still single. But Kagome was determined that this year was going to be different. She figured that if she just ignored everyone and stayed home until Valentine's Day had passed that she could bypass all her own feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. And since the first week of February, she was nailing it. Kagome worked in the kitchen of a little diner, and since business is always a little heavier leading up to the holiday of love, she had signed herself up for some much needed overtime with the hopes that she would too busy for anything else. In addition to working extra hours to occupy her time, she had stockpiled her household with enough food and supplies to last through the week. And if she forgot something? Well, grocery stores will deliver to you now, so Kagome didn't have to worry about walking into her nearest shop, only to be surrounded by chocolates and candies and giant stuffed animals that served no purpose other than reminding Kagome of her unwanted solitude. Kagome had planned her last week so meticulously, giving herself little to no free time to think about the fact that she was still single, or to let anyone else remind her of that fact.
Kagome had always been a rather stubborn child. Kagome knew what she wanted, and if something didn’t live up to her expectations, then it was kicked to the curb. Unfortunately, this personality trait included all the men she dated. It wasn’t like Kagome had never been on a date, or been with a man sexually, but more often that not she found that no one could keep her interests in more than one area for more than a night.
When she was still in high school, Kagome had gone on a couple of dates with Hojo. He had always been quite smitten with her, and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t a nice guy. Hojo was always (and remains to be) one of the few good guys out there, but he was a little too….amicable for Kagome's tastes. His personality almost seemed fake in the sense that he never had any disputes with anyone and could never find anything bad to say about anything. It wasn’t as if Hojo's courteous nature was a bad thing per say, but Kagome always had a wild spirit, and she found it difficult to see herself settling for someone who couldn’t at least sometimes find themselves on her level. On their last date, Kagome had even tried to start a fight with him, just to spawn some other form of emotion from him, but to no avail. In the end, Kagome decided they were better off just being friends. Luckily, Hojo didn’t take the rejection too hard, and in the coming years, he found a cozy companionship with one of her best friends, Ayumi, and in no time at all had proposed to her. They were wedding number one that Kagome was a bridesmaid in.
After Hojo, Kagome dated a couple of other guys, but she quickly found faults in every one of them. Koga, an extremely forward wolf demon, was a great lay, but Kagome did not share in his views that she should just settle down to become his woman, which was just code for becoming a housewife who spat kids out faster than you could say ‘I do'. Kagome liked working, and she wasn’t about to just up and quit her job because some guy told her to. Meanwhile, Bankotsu, who worked at her old gym, ended up on the other end of the spectrum opposite Hojo; his whole life seemed to revolve around fighting and conflict, which was a lifestyle Kagome didn’t want to be apart of. Actually, Kagome was pretty sure he was in a gang. She switched gyms after their break up.
The last time Kagome had been on a real date was five years ago. Since then, she had seen all the rest of her best friends find their true love and get married. Even her most lecherous friend, Miroku, found a woman willing to put up with him. Kagome's mother tried to set her up on a few dates, mostly with the sons of the ladies she plays bridge with, but after a while Kagome just started to flat our reject them. She hated going on blind dates, no one could live up to her expectations. Because the one thing that no one else had known about was that about three months ago, she had met a guy. And he had completely flipped her world upside down.
~flashback~
It was November 1st. Halloween was officially over with, and Kagome had decided to head down to a local bar to celebrate the fact the she was still standing. Earlier in the year, the diner she worked at had started making seasonal desserts, so Kagome had spent the past week baking ghosts and pumpkins and bats on top of all her other cooking duties. Her days at the diner that week usually started far before dawn and ended far after dusk. To say she was tired would be an understatement, so what better way to treat yourself to a job well done than with a celebratory drink? Kagome found herself seated on the opposite end of the bar from the door, pulling out a thick hardcover book. She had not invited anyone else out with her, having no qualms with drinking alone. In fact, after the week she had, she preferred it. She would have a couple of drinks, read a little bit of the current fantasy novel in her hands, and head back home for a good night’s rest.
Kagome was only halfway through her first drink (a standard rum and cola) when a foreign hand suddenly engulfed her page, ripping the book from her hands.
“Excuse you!” Kagome exclaimed, a look of indignation washed over her face.
“You’re excused,” her book thief shot back, his face showing an indifferent look as he rifled through the books pages.
“Do you mind giving me back my book? And don’t lose my spot, either!” Kagome attempted to swipe the book from his hands, but the man merely held it over his head, just out of her reach.
“So tell me, who comes to a bar – alone – just to read a book? Can't find yourself a date on this day, after All Hallows Eve?”
“That is absolutely none of your business,” she squeaked, her face dusted with a slight blush. For a moment, Kagome was struck silent, unsure of how to respond to this stranger. But, for the first time in the maybe twenty seconds they’ve interacted, she finally took a moment to glance at the stranger who found themselves sitting next to her.
‘My GOD is he gorgeous!' were the first thoughts out of Kagome’s head, taking in his tanned skin and perfectly manicured nails. His long silver hair, which only seemed to shine despite the darker environment of the bar, went about halfway down his back and was pulled back in a low ponytail, two strands pulled loose on either side of his head. As her eyes roamed upward, she took in every aspect of his face, from the fangs held behind his smirk to the pair of fuzzy ears that sat on top of his head. ‘So he's a hanyou. I wonder how soft those ears are,' she thought, stifling her yearning to reach out and touch them. But what really took her breath away was his eyes. Golden in color, they glowed, despite the darkened environment. Amber, mixed with flecks of soft brown swirled together as they gazed down on her. He had to be at least a whole foot taller than her. A pair of black slacks accentuating his long legs, while a simple bright red shirt hugged the muscles of his arms and chest. Kagome had never laid eyes on a man more handsome than the stranger beside her, despite her irritation with him interrupting her date with a good book. 'Do I really care though?' she thought, licking her bottom lip slightly to relieve herself from her all-of-a-sudden chapped lips.
“If you must know,” she started, looking slightly down across the bar rather than in his general direction, “I’ve had a hard week and decided to treat myself to a drink and a good book. If that’s okay with you?”
“By yourself?” he said incredulously, slightly lowering his arm that held her book. It gave her just the distance to snatch it back before he could defend against her.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Well, when it comes to celebrations, no one should be alone.” He motioned to the bartender. “The lady and I will have another round, on me,” he spoke the second part of that sentence facing towards her, causing Kagome to blush even more.
“Here you are buying me a drink, and I don’t even know you’re name.”
“I could say the same thing about you,” he smirked, a lone fang poking out from his lips. It was outlandish, in Kagome’s mind, how that one simple facial expression could make her go utterly speechless. She really wanted to throw out some witty, sarcastic quip just to see what kind of expression she could get out of him, but the only word she could seem to utter was her name.
“Well, Ka-go-me,” he said quietly, the bartender handing them two new drinks. The way he enunciated each part of her name sent a small shiver down her spine. “Shall we make a toast then?”
“A t-toast? To what?” she spoke in a hushed voice.
“Hmmm…” he paused, dramatically taking his chin in his thumb and index finger and sporting a most reflective look which made Kagome giggle. “To the rest of tonight. The name's Inuyasha.” He raised his glass in front of her, his eyes glazing back and forth between their drinks. Kagome wasn’t sure what was happening, the room felt like it was spinning, and she barely had anything to drink yet! A part of her was reluctant towards him. She had not planned to talk, let alone meet, someone tonight, but she couldn’t deny she was a little lonely. And he was really hot. ‘So fuck it,’ she thought, and raised her drink up to delicately clink their glasses, a beginning to what would become one of the greatest night’s that Kagome had experienced in a while.
Minutes soon turned to hours. One drink together turned into two. They spent hours playing pool, loser buying celebratory whiskey shots, and when their fill of competitive playfulness had been satiated Inuyasha and Kagome found themselves laughing and dancing the rest of the night away next to the jukebox.
The atmosphere in the little bar that night was perfect. There were just enough people in the bar to make the place feel welcoming without the claustrophobic ambience that a normal club or more popular bar would have. Kagome couldn’t remember the last time she had as much fun as she did that night. Inuyasha was….perfect. They talked about a variety of subjects throughout the night, mostly about the little things, like what their favourite food was or what reality television show was their most guilty pleasure. Work, of course, was another topic they came upon. Kagome talked about her passion for cooking, how it was stemmed from time spent in the kitchen with her mother after her father passed away, and Inuyasha talked about his job as a mechanic. He was definitely a textbook definition of a “car guy", Kagome was pretty sure he could have talked all night about engines and tires and….torque? Kagome didn’t have a clue what he was talking about most of the time, for the most part nodding her head at the appropriate times, but for some reason she found it endearing when listening to Inuyasha talk and all she could do was smile brightly at him.
Despite their steady drinking, he was a perfect gentleman. There was never any instigation to do anything more than have a fun night out, which Kagome found utterly refreshing. One of the reasons she hated going to the more populated bars and clubs was because most guys wanted (and almost expected) something more from her months bedroom department. And while she did not consider herself to be chaste, she was not a fan of sex on the first date – or meeting for that matter.
~present~
‘It was the most perfect night,’ Kagome mused, the music pulling her from her memories as she tried to will her body to become one with her bed.
🎵“Did I fuck my whole life up? Did I miss my one true love? Was he right in front of me at the dive bar? Was that you with the cowboy blues?”🎵
With an aggravated huff, Kagome finally found the nerve to turn the damned music off. She didn’t need any more reminders of her romantic failure. Kagome had thought about that night long and hard. At no point in their celebrating did she feel weird around Inuyasha, and the more time went by, any misgivings she might have had in the beginning about him dwindled to nothing. What could have happened to make everything that was good about their evening go so wrong?
'My drunk, dumb ass is what,' Kagome thought, taking both her hands and pulling them through her hair in frustration.
Kagome was not a lightweight when it came to alcohol for the most part. She rarely went out in that kind of setting, but when she did the necessary precautions were taken to pace herself and keep hydrated. But between their mixed drinks and shared whiskey shots, Kagome had drank more than she could handle, and about an hour before the bar was to officially close for the night, she proclaimed (louder than she probably would have liked If she was sober) that it was time for her to head home. Any other man she could have been with would have taken this opportunity to “escort her home", with the possibility of a night cap, which would have been easy in her inebriated state. It wasn’t like she hadn’t let her mind wander at all that night, especially sit the way his ass looked in those slacks. But ever the gentleman, Inuyasha simply called her a cab, paid the driver, and sent her off on her way.
If Kagome hadn’t been so drunk, she would have asked for his number. Or maybe his social media account. Hell, she would have been content to just get his last name! But at the time, there was no way Kagome could think straight, and with barely a “Goodnight Inuyasha!”, the taxi cab had whisked her away before Inuyasha could even begin to maybe put his own number in her phone.
For a week, Kagome tried her hardest to find any sign that Inuyasha existed since that night. She thought it would have been easier with such an unusual name, but without knowing his last name, her internet searches came up blank. There were surprisingly more ‘Inuyasha’s out there than she ever would have thought. He didn’t seem to have a social media account, so that became her first dead end. She tried looking up all the mechanic shops in the area to try and find some sign that Inuyasha worked there, which proved to be a very daunting task. About halfway through her search, Kagome had then come to a startling hypothesis; What if Inuyasha didn’t live in the area? He could have been visiting from out of town, which means searching through local mechanic shops could be a wasted venture. The thought only made Kagome more frazzled in her search. She even attempted to go to the bar, going on the same day of the week the had met, but after about a month and a half of light drinking and fending off the desperate men that tried hitting on her, Kagome had finally given up. Hell, for all she knew, her mind had probably imagined him up. It’s not like perfect men like him exist anyways.
Soon enough, Christmas and New Years had flown by, filling Kagome with a sense of emptiness. They had only spent a few hours together, but she felt as if she had known him for years. There was this feeling in Kagome that she couldn’t quite verbalize. She felt such a longing for a man she barely even knew, and it killed her inside to know she may never get to indulge in it again. The end of January had brought about a wistful demeanor in Kagome, which conjured up many questions amongst her friends and family. They may not have known about her night with Inuyasha, but it wasn’t difficult to see that something considerable was weighing on Kagome's shoulders, causing her to fall into a dispirited state.
Hence Kagome's need to throw herself into work and not have any contact with anyone she knows until Valentine's Day was over with. Except it didn’t work, and Kagome still ran into Hojo, pulling her back into her own self pity. Why was life so unfair? Did Kagome do something to earn such dreadful luck?
“God, I need a drink,” Kagome muttered as she pushed her cheeks up with her hands. She wasn't scheduled to work tomorrow, although Kagome had planned to go in anyways, but running into Hojo at the gas station had unleashed a barrage of emotions in her and for the first time in a week, Kagome realized just how tired she was. Maybe taking tomorrow off wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
‘Well, in that case, I might as well get out of this house to drink my sorrows away,’ she thought, as she stood from her bed and walked towards her closet. Kagome found herself dressed in a comfortable pair of yoga pants matched in an enormous, bright red hoodie. About two weeks after her night with Inuyasha, Kagome had found the hoodie hanging in a window display at the mall, and without missing a beat she had walked inside and purchased the first one she could get her hands on. She wasn’t an airhead, Kagome knew exactly what pulled her to buy a piece of clothing such as this. She knew it reminded her of him. After religiously wearing the hoodie to bed for months, Kagome had tucked the hoodie away into her closet when February began, knowing that one piece of clothing would never let her forget about him. Thus, she found it fitting now to don the oversized sweater, since there was no use trying to not think about him anymore.
Soon enough, Kagome was out the door, heading down an all too familiar path to the bar. Kagome, in fact, lived practically walking distance to the bar. She could walk from her apartment to the bar in about twenty minutes, and in the car that time was basically nothing. Because she lived so close, Inuyasha could have just as easily helped walk her home that night instead of calling a cab. They could have spent more time together than parting ways at the bar. Maybe he would have had the time to ask for her number. Hell, maybe he would have come inside. Kagome felt a pang of guilt when thinking about just how drunk she got. If she were less intoxicated, she could have had a clearer mind to ask him out again.
A chill breeze swept against her face, causing a light shiver to run down her body. Kagome picked up her pace slightly, desperate for the warmth the incandescent lights above the bar would bring. There was no point in dwelling in the what-if's of the whole situation at the moment; there would be plenty of time for that with a spirituous drink in her hand.
Before long, Kagome had finally reached her destination, the tinkling of the small bell above the door floating through the air. Absentmindedly, she meandered towards her usual seat on the opposite side of the bar. Luckily, it was a Thursday night, so there wouldn’t be too many people around with a clear view of her imminent sour thoughts.
“Kagome! Long time no see!” Looking towards the voice, Kagome spotted the small wildcat demon child, who hopped onto a protruding ledge on the employee side of the bar. Well, ‘child’ was a relative term here. Kagome was sure that despite his small stature, he was probably older than her. Wildcat demons weren't known to get very big.
“Hello Bunza!” Kagome said with a light smile on her face. “How are you this evening?”
“I'm doing alright I guess. It’s been pretty slow tonight, and Totosai gave me this HUGE list of chores to do before we close,” Bunza sighed with a dejected look on his face. “But don’t worry about me Kagome, did you want your usual?”
Kagome giggled slightly at his less-then-enthusiastic attitude towards his duties. He might be older than her, but in the demon world he was still a child, and what child likes to do chores? “Not tonight Bunza, how about making me a Cosmo?”
“Coming right up!” Bunza grinned and set off to work as she sat down, hanging her purse on the hook in front of her legs.
It had been a shock to Kagome the first time she had seen Bunza working the counter. Sometimes, she had to remind herself that the demon world worked different when it came to certain things, such as a child like Bunza working at a bar. Kagome had learned, from her many visits, that Bunza had worked there for about five years. His parents died in a fire when he was very young, leaving him an orphan. Totosai, the actual owner of the bar, was a family friend and agreed to take Bunza under his wing. Of course, this meant he would spend many a night at the bar, working his way up from just sweeping and keeping the bar relatively clean to actually making drinks for patrons. Totosai had actually installed a ledge along the bar for Bunza when he started learning how to make drinks so that it would be easier for him to interact with the customers sitting on the other side of the bar. Many people who came in would comment on his age, about how he was too young to be put to work, but Bunza would just brush them off. It was plain for anyone to see, if they truly tried, that despite the work Bunza was happy to just not be by himself after his parents death. Totosai made sure he had a roof over his head and warm food in his belly, which was more than he could have asked for.
A few minutes later, Bunza set down the finished Cosmo in front of her. “Let me know if you need anything else Kagome!” he said, hopping down from the ledge to pick up where he had left off with his chores. Kagome had always enjoyed talking with Bunza, but her heart just wasn’t in it today. Sighing heavily, she slumped her shoulders, trying to release all her tension from the week. With a few turns of the neck, Kagome grabbed her drink and took a sizeable sip.
“You better be careful, take any more drinks like that and I’ll have to call you another cab.”
Kagome almost choked on her drink at the unexpected voice behind her. Coughing as she tried to take in huge gulps of air, she felt a hand brace her back, patting it gently, the other hand gripping the bar. The motions of the man brought him into her sight, although Kagome didn’t actually need to see him to know who was behind her. If the past week had taught her anything, it was that there was no force on this planet that could possibly make Kagome forget anything about Inuyasha. The deep baritone of his voice. The way his eyes bore into her own, as if he was trying to memorize every bit of her own visage. The velvety texture of his snow-white hair that would tickle her cheeks if he bent his head near hers. The way he always seemed to smell like fresh pine and sandalwood. No, there was no possible way for Kagome to forget him, not that she'd want to anyways.
“I-Inuyasha…” she stuttered, her face starting to burn from the embarrassment of it all. He wasn’t suppose to be here! She hadn’t taken the time to get herself dolled up on the off chance she would see him again. Not that Kagome wasn’t happy to see him, she just wished she was more prepared. She currently held the appearance of a troll rather than a lady. She thought so anyways.
“Well damn, Ka-go-me, didn’t know you were that drunk already,” the way he enunciated her name, yet again brought shivers down her spine. His deliciously plump lips twerked upwards in an all too knowing smirk. She knew he was teasing her, and under normal circumstances she would have huffed in indignation at his ever apparent satisfaction of picking on her, but Kagome had waited months for this moment. There would be plenty of time for pointless bickering later, and by God she would make sure there was a later. The smirk on his face transformed into a wide smile, and Kagome couldn’t help but tilt her lips up to try and imitate his own. She was about to change her own fate.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Kagome said all in one breath. Inuyasha squinted his eyes at her slightly, his smile remained wholeheartedly.
“What’s the rush?”
“I didn’t get a chance to eat dinner yet. It’s been a long week"
Inuyasha snickered. “You’re just always having a bad week, aren’t you wench?”
“Only preceding when I see you, apparently. Maybe it’s a sign?”
“A sign of what?”
“That I should see you more,” Kagome muttered, breaking her eye contact for just a moment before gazing at him with hopeful eyes. His face held an emotion that Kagome couldn’t quite place. Relief? Awe? Contentment? She continued on, afraid any pause in her plan would spell disaster.
“There’s a really great ramen shop not too far from here. If you don’t mind walking.”
His eyes lit up at the word ‘ramen. “You just said the magic word,” Inuyasha said, backing up somewhat to give her enough room to stand. Kagome could not contain the smile on her face as she dug into her purse. Kagome had let Inuyasha get away once, and she wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. Once she found her wallet, she placed some bills on the table and turned to walk out the door with Inuyasha. The night had turned even colder with the sun having been fully set, but Kagome and Inuyasha hardly noticed. Every look that they would pass back and forth would keep them plenty warm.
It was too bad the sun had already gone down though. Kagome had always envisioned she'd find him one day and they'd ride off into the sunset together.
'Oh well, another day.'
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recurring-polynya · 4 years
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Bollywood Review Time!
Today, I am going to talk about Om Shanty Om, a very good movie that was Not For Me.
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Let me back up. People recommend stuff to me a lot and I try to watch it and talk about it, and I always feel bad when I don’t like it. This one was recommended to me by my friend @serene-faerie​ I want to make it very clear that you, reader, may like this film very much! It was a strange perfect storm of Things I Don’t Care For, and I actually rather enjoyed the experience of picking apart what I didn’t like about from what I did, because honestly, I am always interested in the ways stories are told and what stories say about themselves.
Cut for spoilers and also length
First off the bat-- this is not a film for the Bollywood beginner. It’s sort of a meta-narrative, with a ton of cameos from famous stars and jokes about Bollywood tropes and directors and such. There’s a ten-minute dance number in the middle that’s just famous people showing up to get down and everybody cheers every time someone new rolls in. I have only actually seen a handful of Bollywood films, mostly made after this one (it was made in 2007), and I could tell that there were a ton of gags and references that flew over my head. I got the sense, both from watching it, and from reading reviews, that this was all very well done and funny, I just didn’t have the proper frame of reference to appreciate it.
The main character, Om, is played by Shah Rukh Khan, an incredibly famous Bollywood star whom I had never heard of before watching this film. In the beginning, Om is a somewhat-bumbling movie extra, dreaming of stardom, flipping his hair, and falling in love with a beautiful starlet on a billboard. I… was not taken in by his charms. I feel like I really missed out by not knowing who Shah Rukh Khan was ahead of time. That was sort of an interesting thought to me-- that a famous actor brings the good will of all his previous roles to a movie with him, and that it was very interesting to me to watch a film stripped of that context. I was literally shocked when halfway through the film, he rips off his shirt and had killer abs, I was absolutely not expecting it.
The deal of the movie is that, through a series of coincidences, Om meets Shanti, the actress of his dreams (from the billboard). She is played by Deepika Padukone, who I fell for immediately. She is gorgeous and had a ton of charisma. This movie seems like it’s going to be a love story, but it really isn’t. Shanti is charmed by Om’s sweetness, but she’s already in a doomed secret marriage with a scumbag director, Mukesh, who ends up murdering her when she wants him to publicly acknowledge her, which is kinda time sensitive, because she is pregnant. Mukesh had planned to have her star in a lavish movie spectacle called Om Shanti Om, but when she forces his hand, he burns the set down with her locked inside. Om witnesses all this; he tries to save her and dies in the process.
Om happens to die in the same hospital where a famous director’s child is being born, and he is reincarnated as the baby, and grows up to have the life he always wanted-- that of a Bollywood superstar. His name is still Om, but his nickname is O.K., so I am going to call him that to distinguish between 1977 Om and 2007 Om. He meets Mukesh again who is now a super-successful Hollywood producer. O.K. gets all the memories of his past life back, and decides to Get Revenge by proposing to do a remake of Om Shanti Om. He finds a wanna-be actress, Sandy, who looks exactly like Shanti, and has her haunt the set in order to make Mukesh think he is going crazy (and maybe also confess? It’s not a terribly clear-cut plan). You might think that Sandy is the reincarnation of Shanti, but Shanti’s ghost shows up in the grand finale of the film, so I guess she wasn’t?? You also might expect O.K. and Sandy to have some romantic feelings, but they really don’t, and in fact, O.K. is actually pretty mean to Sandy, even though she is extremely sweet and I don’t see how anyone could possibly be mean to her.
The movie is lush. The costumes are elaborate, the sets are lavish, the dance numbers are many and long. There is not a single scene without an off-screen fan to dramatically tousle the actors’ hair. I actually rather liked the last act of the movie where they were gaslighting Mukesh and it was over-the-top, scenery-chewing, Hamlet--play-with-in-a-play madness. A chandelier falls on someone. A lot of the end doesn’t even make a lot of sense or exist in any sort of linear time, cutting between the film-within-a-film and dance numbers and what’s “really happening” and I really had no problem with any of this. I actually really liked the amount of meta that was happening and the breakdown of boundaries, and I found the end to be reasonably satisfying.
So what didn’t I like about it?
The entire film relies on you being charmed by Om and I did not care for him. We all have this set of trope personality types that we enjoy and fall for, and “young person who dreams of making it big on the stage/screen” is a huge swipe left for me. Give me a stolid second-in-command who has been stationed at an ice wall for 30 years to protect his homeland. A incredibly tired dude muttering “fuck” as he wades into a swamp to fight a bog zombie, because who else is gonna? My dude turn-ons include duty and self-sacrifice and really good posture. I couldn’t watch Naruto because everyone spouted off about “their dreams” too much, and I thought Om should have cut his losses and gotten a real job. I am who I am.
There’s a weird fine line between “meta,” that is, stories about storytelling and presentation and media, and movies about being in love with making movies. I like the former a lot and I do not care for the latter one bit. I did stage crew for a high school production of 42nd Street and I have a very distinct memory of thinking “this is a play about putting on a play. Why on earth would anyone who is not an actor want to watch this?” I also hate books where the main character is a writer (yes, Stephen King, this is a call-out). I also hate biopics about musicians and actors. I honestly do not care about the craft, and the “magic of cinema” has never been a thing I have found remotely compelling. 
What I love about reincarnation storylines is the period where the characters recognize the feelings and memories that are tied to their previous lives-- where they see someone and can feel their old emotions for this person, but without knowing why. This is where I live. I eat this with a spoon. I want this to prolong the emotional burn, because the characters don't know what are their own feelings and what comes from their past lives, and that there are conflicts that must be resolved for both lifetimes. Alternatively, you can also use a reincarnation storyline to skip the emotional burn entirely, by just having the character “get all their memories back in one fell swoop.” This is… the opposite of what I want. This is what Om Shanty Om does. I felt deeply cheated.
Relatedly, the entire theme of the movie was "When you want something badly, the whole universe conspires to give to you", a sentiment I wholeheartedly disagree with. I love stories about the conflict between agency and destiny, I think this is a really meaty subject, but once again, the movie used it as an excuse to let the characters sit back and do nothing and have a solution to their problems drop into their laps. I am sure you could make an argument for the charm of this viewpoint, but it is not for me.
I like dance numbers all right, but they are not why I watch Bollywood films. This movie is over two hours long and a lot of it was dance numbers. I was very tired of dance numbers by the end. That being said, the titular song was a bop and I had it stuck in my head for days. “Disco of Distress” was my second favorite.
I do not really feel a lot of nostalgia for the late 1970s, which is when the first half of the film takes place. If noisy patterns and kitsch and big winks and goofy hair is your period aesthetic, you will enjoy this part a lot!
Here’s what I did like!
Sunglasses. There were so many good sunnies in this film. So many. A parade of excellent shades.
Deepika Padukone. She is so adorable, for one, and she charmed me in every way that Shah Rukh Khan did not. I loved her both as the melancholy starlet Shanti and the doofy, gum-chewing Sandy, and also the Angry Revenge Ghost at the end. I would say this movie is 75% Om and 25% Shanti, and I would have liked it a lot better if it were the other way around. Sandy had basically no agency whatsoever; the second half of the plot was basically about O.K. getting revenge on Mukush... mostly for himself? I liked that the first half of the movie didn’t make Shanti fall in love with the puppy-like Om just because he was devoted to her, but it would have been a nice reversal if the jaded O.K. had softened toward Sandy more in the second act, and that there had been a bit of a love story to temper the revenge plot.
The idea of the plot. The plot described in words is very cool to me, and there was a period of about 3 minutes in the film when O.K. recognizes Om’s mother when I got real excited about where this was going, and then I realized it wasn’t going where I wanted and was sad again. I think I might have liked it better if the movie started out with O.K. and revealed Om’s story slowly, through flashback, but nothing about this movie catered to my narrative aesthetic, so I eventually gave up with ways of trying to fix it.
Anyway, as I said, I can definitely see how someone could love this movie! If you are a big Bollywood buff and you love dance numbers and silliness and Shah Rukh Khan, I would recommend it in a second! It was strangely almost tailor-made to hit some of my pet peeves, and I was mad because I wanted to like it more than I did.
That’s my review! @serene-faerie​ I hope you still love me even though I didn’t like your movie. I am always trying to expand my movie knowledge and I learned a lot watching this one, and I don’t regret watching it, even though it wasn’t my fave.
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tipsyylove · 5 years
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real
➵ part two
➵ genre: zombie apocalypse au, angst, dreamies x reader
➵ warnings: language, gore(?)
➵ a/n: im genuinely so sorry it took so long, but here it finally is. it’s kinda beefy, so get ready for a long ride. also i used truth or dare again, oops.
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“what do you mean ‘we have to go’?” you asked the taller man. “it’s not safe here anymore.” jaemin said. “what’s that supposed to mean?” you asked. “gather what you need. we’re leaving tomorrow.” jaemin shooed you off.
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the confusion that the situation caused was empowering. what’s ‘it’s not safe here anymore’ supposed to mean? where is a safer area? what was the plan? all you did was wake up, and now you have less than 24 hours to be here. it was kind of stressful if you were being completely honest with yourself.
you didn’t want to question him, cause he was kind of intimidating. you knew he was a good person, but he can be scary at times, like when he was yelling at jeno the other night. you didn’t have a lot to pack, so you decided to go help the others in the kitchen who were packing up the food and everything else they needed for the road.
“what can i do to help?” you asked the three other men. they turned around, and looked at you, then looked all looked at jeno. you’re not sure why. maybe he was the second in line for leader or something. “get some stuff out of the pantry, and put it in some of these bags.” jeno said, pointing to some bags that they laid out. “okay, thanks!” you smiled. you walked over to the pantry, and started grabbing some food, and then putting into bags. “that’s the first time i’ve ever seen him be actually nice to you.” renjun whispered to you. “yeah. i guess you’re right, aha.” you whispered back.
you guys packed for a while, and made sure to leave some food out for later tonight. it was just a couple of cans and spoons. you were sort of scared of going outside. you haven’t been outside since jaemin brought you here, and you’re scared to see what the world has become. the zombie apocalypse was one of your greatest fears when you were a kid. so having it come true a decade later was terrifying to you. you still couldn’t completely process everything happening. it’s been quiet outside the house. no bangs, knocks, anything. it had you worried.
»»——  ☠  ——««
jaemin had gotten you all to sit down in the living room to somewhat explain the plan. he seemed not too quite sure about it either. “okay, so. i know it’s been quiet around here, but it’s not exactly safe. we’re lucky to even be alive at this point. the windows aren’t quite secure. sure, they have wood on them, but anyone and anything can probably break through. it’s dangerous. i have no idea where we’re going. but we can figure it out. we need somewhere big, secure, and close to a supermarket. we might have to make our own farm when we get there. i want the next place to be for a while, maybe even permanent. so we’re gonna need to modify. any questions?” jaemin asked like a teacher. everyone looked at each other, but no one asked or said anything. “pack what you need, we’re leaving super early tomorrow. go to sleep early. maybe even soon.” jaemin demanded. it was 4:56 pm. how fucking early would you guys be leaving?
but, you didn’t really want to go to bed right now. and neither did anyone else, it seemed. “why don’t we all play truth or dare or something?” you asked everyone. “yeah, sure. why not? you’re playing too, jeno.” jaemin said. “fine.” jeno said, sighing. everyone sat down in a circle. chenle to your left, renjun to your right. “chenle, truth or dare?” jaemin started the game. “truth.” he said, clearly nervous. “what is your opinion on (y/n)?” jaemin asked the younger man. “well, she’s really nice, first of all. and she’s really fun to have around. im glad you found her.” he said smiling at jaemin, then you. it warmed your heart to hear that.
»»——  ☠  ——««
the game was pretty boring, but it’s always a nice time spender. you guys had played for quite a while before some of the younger members went to bed. then, jeno and you decided to go to bed, as well. you didn’t say a word to one another within the time that night, besides in the kitchen. renjun and you had become pretty good friends at this point. you made some jokes today, and bonded during truth or dare. he always made you laugh. but, if you had to be completely honest, you were kind of falling for jaemin. sure, there isn’t really space in the world now for love, but, he kind of stole your heart.
the room was silent. it was jeno, you, and your thoughts. it was a quiet world. the only noise you ever heard was laughter amongst the house. you guys were leaving tomorrow. that’s stressful. this was the only place you knew of since the world ended. it’s terrifying to think about. someone could die. you don’t wanna think about that. you love them all way too much, even if they’re mean to you.
»»——  ☠  ——««
it’s the day. you’re leaving. you woke up, stretched, and grabbed your stuff. jeno hadn’t woken up yet, so you walked over to wake him. the sun hadn’t risen, so you assumed it was close to leaving time, since jaemin said you would be leaving super early. “jeno, wake up, we’re leaving soon.” you shook him. “go away.” he said. you assumed he was just half asleep, so you shook him again. “i said go away! i’ll wake up when jaemin says!” he yelled at you. you just stepped back, and went downstairs, only to find renjun. “what’s up best friend? ready to go?” he asked you, way too much enthusiasm for this early. “yeah, i guess i am. i’m just scared someone might get bit or maybe even die.” you confessed. “don’t be scared. we’ve all been friends since forever, and have been planning. sure, it’s childish, but look at us now.” he smiled, shrugging.
you heard stomping from upstairs, followed by light yelling. “jaemin is screaming at them. calm down. they’ll get up.” renjun said. this made you laugh. it wasn’t actually that funny, but the way he said it was funny. jaemin came downstairs shortly after. “you guys ready?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “yeah.” renjun and you said in unison. “do you actually have a plan?” you heard someone ask from behind jaemin. you looked behind him to see jeno, finally awake. “yeah, of course i do, dumbass. i wouldn’t just tell everyone to leave without a plan.” he spoke back to the clearly angry man. the other three came down, all with backpacks on, weapons in hand. “good morning, y’all!” you said to them, smiling. “is everyone ready to leave?” jaemin asked all of you. “yeah.” you all said, together, yawning after. “then, let’s go. grab the food.” jaemin commanded. you saw haechan, jisung, and chenle go into the kitchen to grab food, and you other four started to make your way to the door. “so long, house. you’ve done us all good.” jaemin said, saluting. the rest of you saluted as well, walking out.
when walking out, you saw nothing on the streets. no people, no zombies, nothing. it was trashed, but it was a ghost town. you guys were standing in a horizontal line walking, and you looked back every once in a while, because you never know. “so, where are we going?” chenle asked the leader. “it’s a surprise. you guys will love it. plenty of space and security.” he said, smiling. you’re so glad that even in the apocalypse, you can still have fun. sure, there’s limits to the fun you can have, but you still can do so, cautiously.
»»——  ☠  ——««
you guys had been walking for about two hours, when you finally stumbled upon some zombies. jaemin, being the wonderful leader he was, bashed their heads in with a bat. as if he couldn’t get any better. the zombies were beyond ugly. they were fucking atrocious. their eyes had been white, and sometimes they were even gone. they had rotten teeth, covered in human remains. it was disgusting. but, with a couple zombies, came more. chenle screamed a lot. pretty loud and high pitched, too. so, that lead more over. “chenle. you gotta stop screaming.” jaemin said to him. you were all running away from the zombies at this point. “guys! there’s a ladder right there we can climb to get up to that roof! looks like we can take it down after we’re done, too.” jeno spoke up. “that’s a good idea. everyone towards the ladder!” jaemin demanded. “for once, he’s actually useful.” renjun joked to you.
when making it to the ladder, jaemin made you go first, then renjun, haechan, jisung, chenle, jeno, then him. when jaemin was climbing up, a zombie grabbed his leg. “HOLY SHIT! JAEMIN KICK IT WITH YOUR OTHER LEG!!” haechan screamed at him. jaemin then quickly jumped off the ladder with his legs, still holding on with his hands, then kicked the zombie’s hand off. he made it up the ladder, and easily took the ladder up. everyone took a second to breathe, when jeno asked, “are you okay, jaem?” the nickname shocked you. “yeah im good, thanks, jen.” they smiled at each other. jeno has emotions? weird. 
»»——  ☠  ——««
you guys had used your ladder or a bridge in between buildings, and made it to your supposed destination. jaemin wasn’t fucking kidding when he said it was big. it was a fucking mansion. it looked like it would suit everyone in the pack. it was a huge off-white house, a ten foot wall surrounding it, and had a huge gate. “what the fuck? how did you know about this huge ass house?” you asked him. “it was a friend’s. he uh, disappeared without a trace when this all started.” he looked at the ground. “i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to-” you were interrupted. “it’s fine. let’s just go.” he led you guys back down with the ladder, and took you inside.
the interior was clean. you were assuming the family either died or fled, since it was so quiet. you all split up to get adjusted to the surroundings, when you heard a high pitched scream. chenle. you walked to where the sound came from, seeing the cause of chenle’s scream. a half alive, half dead man chained up in a room. the man was extremely skinny. he was dirty, and struggling to  breathe. jeno walked in shortly after you, and immediately shut the door behind him. “shit.” he said. “what?” you questioned. “that’s mark. his friend that disappeared. we can’t let him see.” he had pure terror in his eyes. “ill kill him, just don’t let him i-” just then, jaemin walked in. he just stared at mark. he looked into mark’s almost white eyes, clearly trying to see something. “jaemin, ill just kill him, you can le-” you cut jeno off. “no, let jaemin do it. it’s his friend. let him say one last goodbye.” you said, putting your hand on jeno’s shoulder. jaemin still wasn’t saying anything, just staring at his undead friend. “jaemin. what do you want to do?” you asked him. chenle walked out of the room at this point. “i- jeno. can you please kill him? but first, let me say one last goodbye.” jaemin finally spoke up. “yes, go ahead.” jeno moved his arm so he could get through. “please be careful, jaem. he could turn any second.” jaemin just nodded in response to you. he squatted a couple feet in front of mark. “hey, bud. it’s been a while. we all thought you died. i’m sorry it had to be like this. i won’t ever forget about you. just know that you lived a good one. see ya up there, buddy.” jaemin spoke, tears rolling down his face. mark had been groaning, skin getting whiter by the second. it was time. “okay, jaemin. leave now please.” jeno said to him. jaemin left right after jeno said that. you stayed in the room with jeno. “uh, you sure you wanna see this?” jeno asked you, getting his baton out. “yeah, you’re probably not dealing with this too well either.” you said, patting his shoulder. jeno walked over to mark, stood there for a couple of seconds, then finally put him out of his misery. it was emotional. this was supposed to be newcomings and fun. but, that’s not how it actually went. 
you and jeno walked out of the room together, trying to find everyone else. they were all sitting in the living room, comforting jaemin. you haven’t seen him this weak or quiet since you met him. you feel so bad for him. he just saw one of his friends turn to the undead in front of him. absolutely traumatic. renjun saw you two walk in the room, and walked over to you and jeno, pushing you into the kitchen. “what happened up there?” he asked. “did jaem not tell you?” jeno asked. “no, he hasn’t said a word. chenle explained that mark was in there half alive and half dead. that’s all we know.” renjun whispered. “well, yeah. mark is up there. but, he was left to die. he was clearly bitten earlier today, it seems. poor guy. i put him out of his misery.” jeno admitted. “what did you do with the body?” renjun asked. “it’s still up there.” you added. “hey, dipshits, we have to take it out. it will smell rotten in here if we don’t.” renjun told you two. you all walked upstairs back to mark’s room, and opened the door. he was still there, flopped over. “god, it already smells awful in here.” renjun pointed out, wofting the air. jeno did a quick check to actually see if he was dead, then nodded. renjun and you walked over to his dead body, and picked him up. jeno led you down the stairs, out the door, and to the backyard. you guys set the body down, and grabbed a conveniently placed nearby shovel. jeno started to dig a hole big enough for mark’s body to fit in. “can you two go in the shed and see if there’s any wood to make a headstone?” jeno asked, wiping sweat off of his head. “yeah, no problem.” renjun said. you walked into the tiny shed, and searched for a while until you found some wood, nails, and a hammer. there was a family portrait in the shed. you stared at it for a while, seeing how happy of a family they looked to be. it’s so awful what happened to them.
renjun and you walked out of the shed, and made your way over to jeno. “can you also assemble it? we don’t need to label it, we all know who it’s for.” jeno asked. you quickly arranged the two pieces of wood into a cross, and nailed it together. you three once again picked up the body, and placed it in the grave. jeno put the dirt back over the body. you placed the “headstone” you had made at the top of the hole. you three made your way back in, to see everyone unpacking. “did everyone find their rooms?” renjun asked. haechan looked up from the soup can he was holding, and shook his head. “it’s probably best if everyone shares rooms again. since it would be safer. you never know what could happen.” jeno said, looking directly at you. “it just depends on how many beds are in a room.” renjun said. “who said there had to be multiple? there isn’t that many rooms in here. it’s a three member family. is it such a big deal to share beds?” jeno questioned. “okay, then (y/n) gets her own room. she’s a girl. master bedroom.” chenle spoke. “no, i don’t need the master, give it to jaemin. he deserves it more than me.” you declared. “agreed.” jeno said. “okay, fine. but im calling jisung as my roomate!” chenle spoke. “ill take renjun.” haechan said. “guess we’re roomies again.” you looked up at jeno, to see him smiling at them. “yeah, i guess we are.” he looked back down on you.
»»——  ☠  ——««
after getting all of the food unpacked and put away, everyone started to move into their now assigned rooms. no one used mark’s room. you all mutually agreed to never step foot in there again. you and jeno walked up to your room, and took it in. it looked like the master bedroom, but it wasn’t. the bed was absolutely ginormous and seemed to give you two enough space to breathe from one another, even though he had been fairly nice to you today. “wow.” was all you could say. “yeah. i’ve never seen a room this nice in my life.” jeno said. you laid on the bed, feeling how comfortable it was, almost falling asleep right there, until you felt a pressure next to you. jeno plopped down on the bed so hard. “today has been a long day. i hope jaemin is okay.” you spoke to him. “yeah, it has been. he could’ve died and then he had to see his friend like that. i hope he doesn’t go mute.” jeno blurted out. “i don’t think he’ll go mute. he’s the leader of our pack, he can’t go mute. none of us would be able to run this whole thing like he does.” you said. “yeah, you have a fair point. also, i’m sorry for being such a dick to you the past few days. it was just hard to accept someone new into the pack that quickly.” jeno owned up to. “no, it’s fine. i totally get it. its hard for change to occur when you’re so used to something being a certain way. i 100% get where you’re coming from.” you responded. “i hope we can be better friends now. we’re together in the apocalypse for god’s sake.” jeno said. “yeah, i’d like that.”
»»——  ☠  ——««
to be continued….
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threewaysdivided · 4 years
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Hey, I know this is like a billion years from where you are in YJ:DW, but I had this thought strike me: what if Danny could see and talk to Jason Todd's ghost? (assuming Red Hood isn't YJ canon) There's so much potential for angst there, especially if Danny is the only one who can see him, and decides to try and get Jason to cross over. Or heck, what if Danny had a hand in Jason's revival?
That’s a neat idea that definitely has some good angst potential.  Have to admit though, I’m not entirely sure how it would work within the ghost-lore headcanons I’m using for YJ:DW specifically.  
I can write a longer post on this if anyone wants but Basically ghosts in the Deathly Weapons-verse break into 2 unrelated categories that get lumped together for looking sort-of-similar on the surface:  Ectoplasmic (the ones we see in DP) and what we’ll call Shades (DC ghosts like Secret, Deadman etc).  Ectoplasmic “ghosts” are their own inter-dimensional entities so they can’t really “revive” in the traditional sense, and “passing on” is pretty much limited to accepting what they are and chilling in the Ghost Zone forever or straight-up discorporealising/ re-dying.  Shade ghosts are the more traditional original-soul-bound-to-the-physical-world; either because external force is trapping them there, or because they were willful/ powerful/ knowledgeable enough to bind themselves.  These ones can potentially be “revived” more easily, and can “pass on” if they’re released from whatever is holding them to this world.
If Jason came back as a Ectoplasmic ghost he’d work the same way DP ghosts do; most likely everyone would be able to see him unless he had some kind of Young Blood-esque visibility condition (in which case anyone who fit the criteria would also see him), and outside of extreme edge-cases revival would be off the table.  (Throw a ‘plasmic ghost into a Lazarus Pit and they’ll just climb back out,  except now wet and mad at you for giving them a skin condition.)
More likely that Jason would come back as a Shade-ghost (especially since he seems intended to revive in some capacity in YJ canon), in which case he might only be visible to certain people.  In such a case though, I’m not sure it would be Danny who sees him. 
I feel like Danny would be the least emotionally and symbolically connected to Robin!Jason of the Wayne-household residents who’ve appeared in YJ:DW.  As mentioned in this post Danny kind of falls in this weird spot of being Dick’s Brother first and foremost where all the other Bat-Kids are Bruce’s Son/Daughter, and he has some personal qualms about Dick handing off the Robin mantle (and how close he feels he can/ “should” be to Jason) to work through because of that.  Outside of the both-technically-death thing, I’m not sure there’d be much reason for Jason’s shade to attach himself to Danny as an anchor compared to Bruce, Dick, Alfred or even possibly Tim or some location of personal significance (unless Danny seeing him is due to the ectoplasm, in which case other ecto-ghosts should see him too).
Although, in this very specific hypothetical, Danny is probably one of the better people Jason’s ghost could attach too.  We’re about a billion years from the end of YJ:DW right now but Grief and Healing is going to be a major theme of the core emotional arc, so by the time Jason comes along Danny’s going to be much better equipped to deal with even his canon death.  Add to that that Danny’s had to work with ecto-ghosts and therefore tangentially-death-related problems since he was 14 and he’d be less thrown by Jason’s “reappearance” and more likely to think “this could be a ghost problem” early on compared to Bruce and Dick whose first thoughts would likely be “this is an illusion caused by losing my mind from guilt/grief”, especially if Danny can’t also see him.  Plus, by that point Dick and Bruce do trust Danny pretty implicitly and let him take point where ghosts are concerned.
If Jason did appear as a Shade ghost, Danny’s process would probably look a little something like this:
Confirm that Jason is, in fact, a ghost and not a product of him going nuts
Work together to find a way to prove this to the others (while also working through any personal feelings and unresolved communication/ conflict issues)
Call in Bruce, Dick and Alfred and let them know
Family drama/ angst ensues
Collectively find Dr Fate/ John Constantine/ any other amenable magic-spiritualist hero who exists on Earth-16 to figure out how best to Deal With This.
As for Danny helping Jason (or other ghosts) to “pass on”, I kind of feel like that’s…. not really his ballpark.  I don’t see Danny as someone who’d compulsively seek out other ghosts and feel obliged to “move them along” unless they were actively in distress or causing damage/ distress/ fear/ pain to others.  Like, Johnny 13 wants to ride his motorcycle at full tilt through the streets of a town, terrifying the citizens?  Get in the thermos or get out.  Johnny 13 wants to ride his motorcycle at full tilt down a long, deserted county road?  Fine, just don’t go into towns or bother other drivers.  He’ll leave them alone so long as they leave other people alone.
In that regard I see Danny as sort of the fixer compared to Jazz’s counsellor - if a ghost is acting up because of some problem (or comes to him for help) then he’ll deal with it so that they can leave, or at least chill out.  And if he can’t fix it (because the solution is harmful, the ghost’s nature/powers are too inherently dangerous or they’re just there being dicks by choice) he’ll capture and send them back to the Ghost Zone (or find someone who can exorcise a Shade) to remove the problem that way.  He might gently float the suggestion, but if Jason wanted to pass on then that would be Jason’s choice to explore unless he specifically asked for help or became distressed/ disruptive enough to force Danny’s hand.
Similarly, I think revivals wouldn’t really be Danny’s ballpark either; it’s not a solution he’d like and he has neither the knowledge, interest, skills or equipment to actually facilitate any of the rare reliable edge-cases methods of resurrection.  Danny prefers to keep to the ‘best left alone’ side of ‘Meddling with dark forces best left alone’ as much as is possible.
Personally I kind of prefer the revival stories where Jason isn’t around until his actual return.  I think there’s more easy gut-punch mileage in most of those versions.  That structure forces the other characters to accept that he’s “not coming back” and try to process all the conflict and pain that it brings, only to then sledgehammer the new status-quo by having him reappear, now changed, at point where his death has significantly altered their dynamics with him, his memory and the other characters.  By comparison, having him come back as a ghost and then revive kind of smooths and flattens that trajectory to one where anyone who can interact with him (even indirectly) gets their emotional healing accelerated, and the status quo eventually slips back closer to how it was (with them mostly just having to adjust to physical limitations of the new form he takes), only to reform fully when he “comes back” for real.
But, anyway, that’s part of larger personal nitpick with the use of “ghosts” in stories.  I find that the meaningful thing about death (and that seems to get weirdly missed by a lot of works) isn’t the moment of impact itself so much as the persisting loss and how the survivors cope.  We are haunted by absence more than by presence.  Most cases of bringing the dead character (or at least their mind/personality) back in some capacity tends to soften the weight of that for me, unless the ghost is meant to function as a some kind of metaphor for the healing/ acceptance/ closure process and “move on” when the other characters do.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this long and somewhat tangential ramble.  It probably won’t be happening in YJ:DW or YJ:DW-EU but in a story which took a more hardline all-ghosts-are-dead-people/ horror approach to world-building, I can definitely see the someone-seeing-Jason’s-ghost set-up having a lot of angst and uncanny potential.  (I know there are a couple of fics like that already out there but I can’t remember their titles right now, sorry!)
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comicteaparty · 4 years
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June 8th-June 14th, 2020 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 8th, 2020 to June 14th, 2020.  The chat focused on Devil Tongue by Samuel Soto-Saines and Lucas Soto.
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Comic Tea Party
BOOK CLUB START!
Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Devil Tongue by Samuel Soto-Saines and Lucas Soto~! (https://deviltonguecomic.com/)
You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until June 14th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!
DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1
1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?
2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?
3. Who is your favorite character?
4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?
5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!
6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?
7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?
8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?
Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!
mariah (rainy day dreams)
1. I really appreciated how this comic felt really authentically shonen manga right off the bat without feeling tropey or overwrought. 2. I liked when the protagonists confront the ghost in the theater. I just really enjoyed the ghosts dialogue and dramatic jestures. 3. Moira is my fav so far. She's got a sword and seems capable, though is also still an apprentice so I'm looking forward to seeing how she grows.
boogeymadam
1, ALL THE CATS!! :D but more seriously, the way the characters are introduced through their job, and yet their personalities still shine through~ 2, i liked the scene when they're leaving the Lemaire house and walking on a dark misty neighborhood street at night. It's so atmospheric and perfect for their discussion on what kind of ghost their target might be, as well as what kinda threats it may pose :0 3, I can't decide, they're all interesting. Leera was introduced last but I like her enthusiasm! 2, Moira and Leera during the scene where Moira is explaining tinctures to Leera. Moira's so goal oriented and focused while messing with some apprently-very-dangerous stuff and Leera's just trying to avoid boredom. Moira seemed patient of Leera (for the most part) and willing to explain stuff, which was cool. It made me smile. 5, Oh Man, a lot!! The lines are so very clean and precise, every characters' silhouttes is distinct. It's hard to pick which page is my favorite, but I'd have to say https://deviltonguecomic.com/comic/chapter-01-page-32/ because of all the dynamic angles and expressions on the characters. 6, Pupils taking over from the mentor. I like how Emery is allowing his pupil, Moira, to prove herself, and she seems extremely eager to do so and also: good at it! I can only imagine what Emery is like at this job :0 8, A fun and classic premise of paranormal investigators, of a sort, but with magic of their own, making it even more interesting. It's easy to root for the protagonists and feel curious about what got them into this business, or what they were like before they reached this level of fame and skill. And also, there are talking cats!! Huge draw!
mariah (rainy day dreams)
I agree with your #6 Boogey. I do really like how Emery is like "I'm just here to mentor, this is Moira's job." I like seeing the apprentice really get to take point on the mission. I did see though on the cast page that Emery's magic type is just "?????" which definitely makes me what to see him throw down some magic now XD very curious what it is
boogeymadam
OHHH i hadn't spotted that! a secret, how exciting :0c
copperine (Lady Changeling)
I'm not familiar with this one, but I'm intrigued now (and should stop reading this channel till I've read the comic...)
I'll read in the morning and try to give some thoughts
RebelVampire
What I like about the beginning is the character development. Cause we get a lot of it and find out things like Emery being an ex-magician, his relationship with Moira, etc. Yet, at the same time, the plot is not sacrificed and the story is still moved along smoothly, which is a great balancing act. My favorite moment in the comic so far is actually all the times Emery feigns that he doesn't care but then we get those shots of him peeking and spying. I find those adorable but just also really nice character moments. My favorite character at the moment is Emery. I like aloof characters and he fits that bill. I also like his general cynicism about life. Emery is the sort of character who I'd have as a friend in real life. XD As for characters interacting the most, probably Leera and a combo of Emery and Moira. Leera has pretty different motivations for being there, is somewhat opposite in personality from the main pair, and just all around adds an interesting dynamic too the group that kind of makes certain elements of the story seem more grounded. I really just in general love the comic's linework. Not only is everything super clean (making the action easy to follow), but it really knows how to bulk up the shadows to create specific atmospheres that really work for each panel and add so much to each scene.
In terms of themes, I like that the comic somewhat explores with Emery the concept of what to do with your life after your previous life fails. I think we all kind of like to believe we'll do X forever and X comes to define us in a lot of ways. But then suddenly X might not be there and it's like, what is life now? How do I deal with life? And with Emery, I do think we get to kind of experience one path that kind of takes. What I like about the comic's overall content is the...strange mix of fantasy and realism. I can't really put it into words. Like this is definitely a fantasy story, yet there's elements of realism thrown in I wouldn't expect. Like things are almost scarily normal in some respects like the houses or journalism, etc. So everything about the world really intrigues me since it feels super unique in tone. Finally, for strengths, I'm referring back to the art here. I think the atmosphere the art adds to each scene really helps give the comic that extra oomph.
Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)
Everyone's covered all the stuff I like about the characters, so let me just throw in some extra praise for the backgrounds. Those elaborate buildings! That towering opera-house interior! That one sequence with light streaming through elegantly-patterned windows!
Comic Tea Party
DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2
9. What do you think Emery did that caused him to be exiled by the Magician Order? How does this factor into his general cynicism and bitterness? Also, do you think Emery will ever be a magician again?
10. How do you think Moira became Emery’s apprentice despite Emery being an ex-magician? Similarly, why do you think Moira hasn’t joined up with the Magician Order? As the story develops, how do you think Moira will grow and change as a magician?
11. Besides following Emery and Moira around, what role do you think Leera will have in the story? How might Leera’s presence hurt or help the duo on each case? Also, how will Leera change as she experiences things firsthand?
12. How do you think Moira and Emery will resolve the haunted opera house situation? Can the kidnapped girl be saved, or is she truly gone forever? Additionally, what other sorts of cases do you expect to see after this one?
Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!
RebelVampire
Honestly, I get the impression that Emery was good but also just a rebellious rule breaker type. So he probably got exiled for just not fitting in with the club regardless of anything else he might have done. Which to me would explain the cynicism cause it would show him how much of life is just a popularity contest. As for being a magician again, maybe, but the bigger question is would he want to? My current theory for Moira was that she's just ill-suited to the order. I'm sure she's heard awful things about it from Emery, so why join team lame when you can join Emery and be on team winner. As for how Moira will grow, I think she'll just learn to take things a bit more seriously and mature (though probably still pretty happy and excited). I've talked about Leera a bit already, but I think her major role in the story is the grounding element and reader's eyes. Cause someone needs to ask questions for the readers, and I think that will be Leera. But in terms of plot, I also think Leera will just help them get more work by spreading their name to lands far and wide. I think in terms of how Leera will change, I think mostly she'll maybe find better things to publish about and the power she wields with words. I think the kidnapped girl can be saved, but that it needs to be done quickly. As for how this will ultimately resolve, I assume epic battle followed by emotional ghost revelations. As for other sorts of cases, I actually am expecting lots of drama ones with heavy emotional reveals from side characters. I could be wrong, but that feels like the route the comic is going. O_O
Comic Tea Party
DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3
13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?
14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?
Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!
Ryccomics
1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? Very good dynamic introduction between Moira and Emery. Very quickly and effectively I understood Emery is an older cynic, and Moira is the energetic and out to prove herself. 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? The magic reveal of what the potions/chemicals do is fun. I do not really understand how they work at this time, and I don’t really need to. 3. Who is your favorite character? Mauretta, she’s a lot of fun in design, and she gets to talk more than usual character type. I’m not sure what this character type would be called, but I’m going with person who starts the Scooby Doo mystery. 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? Moira and Emery have good chemistry. Having the young rookie be more powerful than the experienced partners adds to the dynamic. 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!
So much going on in this panel. All 5 characters are doing something. 6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores? I don’t have an answer yet, because how this encounter goes will shape the narrative, everyone could die. It could be resolved peacefully, it could wrap like a monster of the week story, or lead to bigger things. 7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content? I like the map in FAQ area of site is cool. Gives information for those who want it, but can be safely ignored by those that don’t. 8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are? I like your line art, a lot. The silhouettes read really well. And when working in black and white having distinct shapes is so important, you’ve color code your characters. 9. What do you think Emery did that caused him to be exiled by the Magician Order? How does this factor into his general cynicism and bitterness? Also, do you think Emery will ever be a magician again? I know from the Cast FAQ, he broke their laws, in what contest will tell a lot about Emery and the Order. I am a little unclear what the Magicians are at this points, how powerful they are in this society. Are the Magicians outside of the Magician’s order?
10. How do you think Moira became Emery’s apprentice despite Emery being an ex-magician? Similarly, why do you think Moira hasn’t joined up with the Magician Order? As the story develops, how do you think Moira will grow and change as a magician? I think Moira will have to confront what caused Emery’s cynicism. I expect she will get more powerful as the story begins. 11. Besides following Emery and Moira around, what role do you think Leera will have in the story? How might Leera’s presence hurt or help the duo on each case? Also, how will Leera change as she experiences things firsthand? I Leera’s role will be mainly to ensure the characters get back onto the plot. Most stories have some form of this function, whether it is the Greek gods, a ticking clock to motivate the characters to act right now Given she works for a newspaper, she can prod the characters to do news worthy things. 12. How do you think Moira and Emery will resolve the haunted opera house situation? Can the kidnapped girl be saved, or is she truly gone forever? Additionally, what other sorts of cases do you expect to see after this one? I feel it will have a happy ending, monster defeated girl saved. This is because the character dynamics would change really drastically if Moira had to confront extreme darkness so early, she would get cynical. 13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic? Will be interesting to see how the combat functions with regard to group dynamics, are the other characters going to plan a part in the combat, or are they on the sidelines. 14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic? I was sad when it ended.
RebelVampire
I am looking forward to finding out more about Emery and what Emery is capable of despite the circumstances. As for final words, this is just a lovely comic with tons of unique aspects about it that I really like.
Comic Tea Party
BOOK CLUB END!
Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Devil Tongue this week! Please also give a special thank you to Samuel Soto-Saines and Lucas Soto for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Devil Tongue, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!
Read and Comment: https://deviltonguecomic.com/
Devil Tongue’s Story: https://deviltonguecomic.com/store/
Samuel’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/sainezart
Lucas’ Twitter: https://twitter.com/lucaswordcraft
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invertedeidolon · 4 years
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The Longest Library #1: And on the Eighth Day She Rested by J.D Mason (Or, Eidolon talks too  much about their shitty childhood and relationships)
( Until I find a format for these, I’ll just be rambling about the interesting bits I have flagged in the book. There WILL be spoilers. ) 
Rundown: A perfectly capable story about one woman’s recovery from a 14 year abusive marriage, ‘And On The Eight Day She Rested’ is a quick but immersive read. I give it a 4/5, only because I don’t agree with the heroine’s final decision. If you ignore that, it would have been a 4.5/5. This is because I am a bitter bastard.
Because it’s a story mainly about abuse and recovery, of COURSE I’m going to relate to it. What I wasn’t expecting, was just how well the author depicted the feelings and thoughts involved. The narrative voice is entirely inside the main character’s head, from her perspective, and nobody else’s.
Right off the bat, she talks about how her husband has disappeared again. How this time, instead of being jealous or insecure, she savored her time by herself, even ‘back[ing] away from feelings of inadequacy’. My first relationship involved a lot of ghosting. This is something I desperately wanted to do, to ACTUALLY enjoy time by myself, instead of worrying up and down about how HE’S doing, what HE’S feeling, whether it was my fault he wasn’t talking to me or if I was good enough for him.
“It’s a piece of time that doesn’t warrant any more attention than it’s been given.”
The main character refuses to press charges or do anything at first. All she wants to do is to make that entire part of her life disappear, like it never happened (but of course, after things like that, it’ll never be ‘like it never happened’). I don’t talk a lot about my mom (my abuser) in the present tense. I don’t get very angry thinking about her either. Because she doesn't warrant any more of my time or energy, and if I had it my way, she would just quietly disappear forever.
“But the words linger, piling up inside me like garbage, and when he’s not around to pile on some more, I can usually regurgitate them to remind myself of who I really am.”
I still deal with this, to this day. The things my mother said to me and my sister often return like some kind of horrible specter. I can usually tell when it’s me, or if it’s ‘mom’ talking based on how extreme and unwarranted my language gets toward myself.
“Didn’t I ever dream of being...doing something besides worrying about Eric, pleasing Eric, ducking from Eric, crying over Eric, or crying because of Eric?[...] All these years have I been completely driven by this man to the point that I don’t have the fuel or desire to drive my damn self?”
Yes, actually. Being trapped in the house with your abuser, often makes it so that they’re the focus. Avoiding them, pleasing them, often meant the difference between survival and... not. The main character married him when she was eighteen, and kind of had to grow up with him, depend on him. It gets like that when you’re dependent on somebody. For a long time after getting out of my parent’s place, I would just sleep. I wasn’t needed, so I slept, or laid there. I didn’t know if I was allowed to eat, so I didn’t. Abusers like that often control nearly every aspect of your life, and left to your own devices after they’re gone... you don’t have anything, like a sim with the free will turned off. There’s no self-direction, not even driven by your desires, because your desires didn’t matter, and were punished out of you.
“Even when he was gone, the anticipation of him was enough to keep me in hell and I couldn’t enjoy being alone. [...] My mind was constantly filled with the challenge of keeping everything perfect and not giving him a reason to fuss.”
This is something I still do, although now it’s just a reflex turned into an act of love, as opposed to a survival instinct. I make the surroundings comfortable for my loved ones and myself, because I love them, and I’m aware of how much of a difference the smaller comforts can make, not because I’m afraid of a ragemonster thundering through the house if one little thing is off. I do still get nervous if people are moving too much or making too much noise sometimes (it was like blood in the ocean, make too much noise and here comes the shark, ready to shut it down and punish you for daring to assert that you were in any way alive and not serving her that very moment). Although there are sometimes when my body remembers, but I don’t. I’ll accidentally forget my partner’s tea on the counter and burst into tears out of overwhelming guilt, and then feel ashamed because my emotions are so overblown (but the emotions are from when I would forget something of my mother’s and would be in the midst of fearing punishment). It’s hard sometimes.
There are these poems/prose that happen only twice in the book. I don’t really understand what purpose they serve or why they’re there. Maybe it’s a staple of romance novels, like a writing tick or something?
“I haven’t been able to get the encounter with Eric off my mind. It’s not running into him that’s bothering me. It’s my reaction to him.[...] He’s been out of my life so long, but today I felt that familiar intimidation I used to feel from him and I don’t like it because I thought I’d convinced myself that I was over it.”
I feel this. I feel this hard. I hate just how much power those memories hold over me. I get into a situation that’s similar enough, and I break down and regress back into a kid, following the same set of insane rules. It scares my partners sometimes, that I could be terrified and obviously hurting, but still deflecting any questions about me, and being extra attentive to them and only them. Because that was how you did it. You showed fear, you were punished. You made anything about you, you were punished. And god forbid I ‘break a rule’ in that state, because I devolve into a terrified mess, because the rest of my nervous system expects a punishment for it. Sometimes the freeze response is so bad that my body shuts down. It was enough pain in the past that my body felt like there was a threat on it’s life, and prepared me for it accordingly, slowing everything down, making it harder to move (It’ll hurt less when the lion eats you if your muscles aren’t tensed), flooding my brain with opiates to make things numb and foggy and distant. It was enough to make my body think I was going to die. Of course it doesn’t just go away. The body wants to live. It WILL remember, no matter how ashamed you are of it. And by god am I ashamed.
“I refused to give that bullshit any more attention than it’s been given”
For me, it’s who my mother was as a person. I spent a really long goddamn time fighting not to blame myself. I refuse to recognize her as anything but empty and monstrous. I get angry when people attempt to assign any kind of humanity or careful, conscious thought to her. She has neither. She is a creature, driven by instinct. I don’t care that she made me, she’s never made anything good in her life. I refuse to give her credit for me. I made me. Not her. She didn’t raise me, and she sure as hell isn’t raising her other daughter, I AM.
“I waited all day, but he never called. So the next day, I call him, several times, but he doesn’t return any of my messages.” - “Lately, my nerves are on edge and there’s an uneasiness flowing through my veins. I’ve been trying to ignore these feelings, but it’s hard to do. I sense a shift occurring in my little universe.[...] He won’t talk to me except to say he’s tired, or busy, promising we’ll talk later, but later never seems to come. Most of the time I sit here waiting for the phone to ring, hoping it’s him and hoping things will be back to normal again. When that doesn’t happen, I go to bed trying not to be depressed about us breaking up and trying not to make plans for my life without him in it.”
So back to ghosting dude. The fear of pulling away only got stronger the more he did it. I‘d dread when I didn’t get replies, because then I would think ‘Is he doing it again? Will I have to wait another three months?’. And before you go “But Eidolon! What a shithead! Why didn’t you leave him be?”, this was happening while I was still living with my mother. He was the only source of nice things and what felt like genuine attention I’d ever had. A starving dog would rather take bread from someone who feeds them once a week than to take bread from someone who beats them. Insert that study about the rats and the lever and how the lever that inconsistently gave rewards was more attractive/addictive than the one that was consistent. Anyway, this part of the book filled me with a tension, a dread I didn’t expect to feel. The new boyfriend, The One, the First Healthy Relationship is obviously going downhill, and nothing is being said about it because ‘what if I ruin it’. The first quote made the pit of my stomach open up, and the second set made me question whether someone was spying on me 6ish years ago. 5/5 on a realness scale. Fuck me up, J.D.
“I can’t lose this man. Whatever is bothering him, whatever problems he has I want to be there for him. I want to be his woman and help him work through them. No matter how difficult, or how impossible things might appear to him, I can and will do anything for Adrian Carter. He has to know this.”
Whoof boy. The determination and blind hope that it IS something that I can deal with, that it isn’t anything huge or life altering, that we can get through this. In the end, the same thing happened in the book that happened to me. He didn’t WANT help, he’d already made up his mind without me (despite previous assurances that SOME kind of communication would happen). I like my current relationship. Everybody actually fucking TALKS, and they TRY, instead of crumpling and giving up like that.
So I’m not quoting this part of the book, otherwise I’d be writing out almost an entire chapter, but what’s basically going on is that the ex husband showed his crusty face and doesn’t get to complete his threat because more people came about to witness him. Anybody who’s been there knows he’ll be back to finish it later. So now Main Character and the new boyfriend sit down, and both say “I have something I need to tell you.” Of course she lets him go first, because she’s desperate to find out what’s going on, fix it, and repair the relationship. But the thing he needs to say is essentially the end of their relationship. So of course she says nothing. This was a little frustrating for me, but I do remember being in a position like that. You don’t ask for anything from someone who’s just hurt you. You’re given the innate knowledge through years and years of experience that the person who just hurt you (no matter the pain) will NOT help you, and might even hurt you more. I get it. I understand. The frustration I feel is the frustration of my loved ones when my feelings don’t line up with reality. The boyfriend is a good man, and probably would have assured MC’s safety before completely leaving. But she feels she has to keep it tucked away. Another unspoken thing is, what if he thinks it’s just a call for attention, a ploy to get him to stay a little longer? What an awful thought. Better not say anything.
“There are other ways, Adrian. Lots of other options, and together, we can come up with some, but we can’t if you walk away from me like this. Don’t walk away from us. Adrian. Please.”
God, did I beg. I did a lot of begging. Maybe not to him, because what if he thought I was pathetic and actually left because of that? But this was said, slower, and with a lot more words, calmer, with a lot less desperation. I was so used to being The Calm One, The Adult, that I thought I just had to navigate through it. Nope. He just crumpled and gave up and refused to do anything except verbally lash himself, and at the very end, I wasn’t going to come to his rescue yet again.
“I’ve got to go, Ruth. I’ll try and call back when I get a chance.” Adrian hangs up, without even saying goodbye. It’s after midnight and Eric’s car is still parked outside.”
This part gave me such dread. Both things were so, so close together. But safety was floating away while danger just crept closer and closer. It was like that nightmare I had about a different boyfriend’s texts getting farther and farther apart, eventually not answering, right before mom entered the dream and did horrible things. *shudder* What a vile and despairing feeling. What a writer.
“Time has a way of dulling the pain and helping me to get over him. I’ve needed big doses of time.[...] Am I supposed to be here waiting for him just in case? That’s no fair. He moved on with his life, and despite all the drama, I’ve moved on with mine.”
So in this part, it’s a bit later and the boyfriend is back, and people are asking the main character to talk to him. She actually does better than I did in this regard, because she just downright refuses to give him the time of day beyond civility. I however kept letting this fucker back in and out like a revolving door (but the boyfriends in question aren’t really comparable, the reasons for leaving are WAY different.)
“I’m afraid to turn around. Afraid I still love him now as much as I did then. I don’t want to see Adrian. I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I’ve worked too hard all these months to turn back. I can’t afford to do that to myself. I owe me more than that. I don’t owe him a damn thing.”
That horrible mix of hope and the need to stand your ground. My own reasons were far less involved in the realm of self-advocacy, I was just bitter and hurt and didn’t want to feel that weak ever again, but by god did I desperately want things to go back to ‘normal’, for things to be better, to have a relationship that I thought we could have if we’d just worked a little harder, did a little more, waiting long enough that we could meet more in person.
And now, for the extra spoilery bit because it’s literally the end of the book:
“Of course I’ll marry you,” I say with tears in my eyes.”
Fucking *EYEROLL*
I get it. I really do. I get that it’s kind of a romance story, I get that she’s doing this entirely for herself and is a part of her self development, but COME ON.
I wanted her to make the opposite decision. I wanted her to be stronger than I was. I wanted her to make him WORK for it, and STILL deny him, because goddamnit he left her, and left her in a dangerous place, (like my own did).
She even goes as far as moving into the goddamn mountains in colorado, in a cabin. That’s my fucking DREAM. To just, physically shun everything that’s ever hurt me, and to be by myself. Even now that I’m in a much better place with much healthier relationships, this is still something I want to do (but with more people involved now).
The shit that Adrian carter says is only slightly less weak than the shit that Eric says. “[I’m here] To fix what’s broken for both of us” “I’m human, baby. I made a choice and it didn’t work out” “I learned a valuable lesson” “It was hard, but I learned that a man needs to go with his gut instinct”
Just fuck off, Adrian Carter. Quit talking about yourself. He just fucking smiles and slithers his way right back in and UGH. And the thought that it would actually WORK between them afterwards just makes me bitter as fuck. Or rather, it makes me feel the bitterness that I already had in me.
Despite the recovery process being so abbreviated, the beats were so similar to my own that I began to look for a catharsis that wasn’t there. Because this story belongs to the writer, and not to me.
Now, fanfiction definitely belongs to me, however. I can certainly write a story about Ruth turning him away to the cold, and further building her own sense of self and maybe making friends with another hermit and discovering more about how she’s running away from her problems and yadda yadda, and THEN reintroduce the boyfriend, who’s actually trying harder this time.
But again, this story belongs to the writer, and not to me.
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Thanks for reading this clusterfuck, eventually I’ll get better at this.
Only 296 books to go!
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grimelords · 6 years
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I just realised I wrote up my June playlist and forgot to post it at all, which benefits no one. July coming soon, but for now please enjoy three hours of two month old thoughts on the new Kanye, the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack and two songs about drinking beer.
Ghost Town - Kanye West: Now that the dust has settled around Kanye's month of chaos I can safely say Ye is great and Ghost Town is the best song on it, though it's not a coincidence that the best song is the one where Kanye says the least.
DLZ - TV On The Radio: I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. The combination of the absolutely hypnotising drums and very good cryptic lyrics about impending doom is exactly my shit. Also the whistling right at the very end is a perfect moment.
Hyph Mngo - Joy Orbison: Someone had a thing on twitter the other day that was like 'quote tweet this with a phrase you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand' and someone said Hyph Mngo and I felt age 100. This song really was such a game changer and that whole wave of stuff like this, Koreless and Jame Blake's EP's around then was such an incredible time to be alive. I am aging decades by the second and will not be around much longer.
The Shootist - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson: I've been thinking about game soundtracks a lot the past month or so for some reason and Red Dead really is an all timer. They did such a great job capturing the whole feeling without it just being a straight Morricone rip-off (though obviously it is mostly a Morricone ripoff).
Touch Me - Wish & Fonda Rae: This song is so fucking good to begin with but then it gets really really good in the middle part and where they just start going hogwild with the sampler on her vocals, and then again at the end when it starts sounding like a Battles song.
In The Vespers - Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld: Ever since I finished MGSV again I've been thinking about open-world stealth as a genre and how I'd do it, and this song is really the perfect kind of soundtrack to the game I'm thinking of. It's already got four alert levels built in, all the way from Tense to FUCk and back down to Calming Down But Still Scared.
Human After All - Daft Punk: Human After All is still a beguiling album in sound and vision after all this time. The amount of noise emananating from every single element in this song, and songs like Technologic is just so strange compared to everything they'd done before and since, but I think that's what I like about it. It sounds like it was made in 1979 when electronics were a novelty and everyone accepted that they'd be noisy as hell. Also I had an emotional moment this month while I was driving and listening to this song and reflecting on how we are all, human.. after all.. so who knows what's up with me.
Disparate Youth - Santigold: The production on this song is insane. The drums, the guitar, the bouncing piano, it just has so much momentum the whole way through and holy shit I just realised that the video I was talking about last month that referenced The Holy Mountain that I couldn't remember is L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold what an incredible two for one.
Violence - Parquet Courts: This song has the potential to be embarrassing but it's saved from itself by the specificity of the lyrics and the backing vocals that sound like a smiling swing band saying 'violence is daily life!'.
Jane Says - Jane's Addiction: The steel drum as the central melody line in this is such a strange and beautiful choice and also this song has two chords and no chorus. There are truly one million ways to make a good song.
Heatstroke - Calvin Harris feat. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande: I really can't believe I missed this song that came out like a year ago, so thank god my girlfriend told me about it. It's incredible. Everyone is operating at full capacity in this song and the structure is so good, the Pharrell/Thug pre-chorus could be a chorus on its own but then Ariana and Pharrell trade lines foe the actual chorus, amazing. Also when Thugger says 'she got every read bottom like a baboon’ the way the backup says '..baboon' slightly apprehensively cracks me up.
Maximum Black - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: More Bohren, carrying over from last month. This is one of my favourites of theirs, mostly just for the choir sound and the all-time great sax intro at about 4:30. When you start at absolute zero, dialling it up to a 1 sounds like bomb going off.
Dust Bunnies - Kurt Vile: This is like most Kurt Vile songs in that it's sort of just about hanging out and feeling kind of funny, which is a mindset I really relate to.
Here For The Beer - The Sloppy Boys: A bunch of guys from The Birthday Boys have a band now and it's really great. Comedy music is hard but this album is the best kind where it's just dumb ass rock and roll story songs and odes to partying. The way he says 'autographed baseball' makes me laugh every time.
Beer Pressure - Municipal Waste: Anyway that song reminded me of this song, which is almost the exact same song with a slightly different mindset.
Credulous! Credulous! - BATS: There's really something to listening to a song for ten years and then having it suddenly dawn on you one day that it's about an epilleptic 16 year old in the distant past getting treppaned by a mystic and a team of scientists in the present figuring out what happened.
Please Take Your Hand Away - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross: Everyone's (me) always talking about how good The Social Network soundtrack is but nobody's ever talking about how they did a sequel that's just as good and goes for longer than the actual film when they released the nearly 3 hour Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack a year later. What an achievement!
What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 2 - DJ Shadow: This song is really on a whole nother level. It is really a kind of magic that you can get a 15 minute song out of a two note bassline and a drum loop, but when they're this good it looks easy. The drums especially are just absolutely hypnotising.
One Of One - Kamasi Washington: Kamasi somehow outdid himself on this one my god. The groove in this is just amazing, and the way it twists and turns into something darker and darker before the sun shines through and the hook comes back is incredible. The way the theme comes back all twisted up with strings near the end. Great stuff.
My Exit, Unfair - mewithoutYou: I honestly very nearly got converted in high school just because I was listening to so much mewithoutYou, and it still informs a lot of my religious thoughts. A running theme through a lot of their songs is wrestling with and trying to accept the idea that God has a plan for you that you definitely don't understand and getting extremely upset about it and that's about where I'm at.
Stand - R.E.M.: Apparently this was the theme to a show called Get A Life and it's funny because it really does sound perfect for a 90s tv theme. It sounds like it's two and a half minutes too long. Release the 30 second TV theme version REM.
BFG Division - Mick Gordon: I was watching a guy speedrun Doom on GDQ and the music for that game is so amazing, but it sounds really funy when the whole sppedrun is just clipping through a wall and rocket jumping halfway across the level to trigger the checkpoint. Mick Gordon really nailed this soundtrack, it's a massive part of the atmosphere of the game and it's really the logical expansion of the MIDI themes of the original, it sounds like the original in HD, this is what you thought you were hearing.
Angel's Rest - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson's songs are so loosely structured they often seem dreamed up on the spot, but the sounds and moods seem so carefully considered that the notes themselves aren't so important.
Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Oxygen - Michael Giacchino: If Michael Giacchino doesn't get an Oscar for The Incredibles II soundtrack I'm going to riot. The climax of this is so big I had to stop myself from applauding in the theatre, it's irrepressible.
AM // Radio - Earl Sweatshirt & Wiki: I was having a week where I was really feeling like the phrase "I don't like shit, I don't go outside" and so I suddenly remembered this album. This beat is so, so good. It sounds like nothing else, and it only adds to the alien flavour by giving the second half of the track to an instrumental.
World In Harmony - Adebisi Shank: Adebisi Shank are really the perfect band. They love to have fun and have a big time and they started out with a perfect first album and only got bigger and better by the time they got to the third and broke up. This song is so powerful, and my billionaire dream is to finance a new F-Zero game and get Adebisi Shank back together to do the soundtrack.
Make Luv feat. Oliver Cheatham - Room 5: I'm slowly putting together a playlist of songs that sound like Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust in order to invoke some kind of euphoric 'best night ever' and ascend to heaven but this song is the only other one I have so far.
A Love Supreme Part II: Resolution - John Coltrane Quartet: I don't feel qualified to say anything about A Love Supreme, so I don't think I'm going to. I literally don't know where to start with this. It's damn good music.
"You Got A Killer Scene There, Man..." - Queens Of The Stone Age: This song is a real vibe. This should be a whole genre but I've never really found anything else like it. It's like if The Doors were good I suppose. It's shocking that this song only goes for 5 minutes because it really feels like it could go for 20 and you wouldn't mind. I remember a few years ago I opened this in Audition and slowed it down to 75% and I really recommend it, it makes the whole thing feel as sludgy as I think it's supposed to be and makes all the breaks that much more impactful.
Never Let Me Go - Sarah Blasko: A friend sent me this and said it sounds like a Bond theme and he's absolutely right, especially towards the end where it all starts stacking up. Maybe it would need a bit more brass to be a proper Bond theme but still, I love it.
Protection - Emma Ruth Rundle: I love Emma Ruth Rundle so much and I'm so excited that she's got a new album coming out. The absolute textural thickness she can conjure up in a song like this blows me away. I don't know what it is about her voice but it sounds like the 90s somehow. Does that make sense? This feels like 90s music, like the grunge female songwriter thing went a slightly different way and I love it.​
listen here
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