#like i just don't look that good

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[wasyago]

various tango doodles

#hermitcraft #tangotek #my art #sketch #i love drawing human tango so much you guys have no idea.... he's just. he's so... but the creature one is still the most favorite. #also the 3rd sketch of him with glasses..... don't think im gonna draw him with glasses anymore it just doesn't look right #idk why. maybe the forehead being covered or the fact that he doesn't have ears or something. it's just... no #in other news. im really enjoying drawing him with a bit of facial hair! it just adds that little bit of character and maturity #he looks less like a baby and i think that's a good thing #all my previous fanarts now look bald tho 😭

[itsdefinitely]

TUMBLR LEGWND ITSDEIFNITLEY ALSO DRAWS SANDERS SIDES?!?!???

i dabble

#sanders sides #remus sanders #janus sanders #id in alt text #definitely art #(patton voice) now what did we learn #sigh. don't rewatch selfishness v selflessness + the redux and working through intrusive thoughts first thing in the morning #i couldnt find a good reference for their bottom halves and i didnt want to spend too long looking for one. so i improvised #i designed a more flashy cane for janus i just didn't want to draw it. maybe he was focused more on mobility than style. who knows #i didn't want to shade this. or like. put too much effort into this because it was a warmup #so if you see imperfections. n. nuh uh. no you don't

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case. #Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two. #The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it. #Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't. #These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too. #And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle! #You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy! #Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times! #I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking! #Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

[theharlotofferelden]

“Gale is so boring” he had a emotional and sexual relationship with a goddess and was so down bad for her that he tried to reclaim a small aspect of her power just to please her and in doing so ended up with a magical bomb in his chest yet that doesn’t keep him from being a kind, slightly condescending, enthusiastic malewife nerd who thinks your dirty ass smells good GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

#bg3 gale #baldur’s gate gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #Baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #baldur’s gate spoilers #personal: shitpost #game: baldur's gate 3 #it’s gale posting hours #look everyone is entitled to their opinion but i gotta wonder what game you played if you're saying this #like this is just a pithy shitpost but the ending i got with Gale is so fucking good #and for the record i didn't romance him i'm just ur regular gale appreciator #don't do my boy dirty like this #personal: my post #personal: my posts

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :') #anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ #and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee. #and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :') #and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw) #idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all) #but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au: #fishing

[u3pxx]

KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.

EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!

- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!

- “Sure is.”

DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?

YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”

DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!

YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.

INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.

ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.

HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!

VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.

KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”

YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”

LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.

KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”

YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”

YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”

KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."

He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”

EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.

YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.

YOU - “…”

KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.

YOU - “Kim?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.

YOU - “KIM!!!!”

uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt

(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)

also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #den's disco swap #disco elysium role swap #HI nobody look at the fact that. i am a novice writer at best DFGHJFGH #i had idea for some comic dialogue but it ended up being this instead whoops. i mean i could still draw this as a comic #anyways. i was like. trying to reverse engineer my idea of how kim can change into his bomber jacket instead of his uniform. #which. i dont think you can do with just simple convincing bc that thing is fused to him in spirit so there has to be like a good reason wh #oh it gets ruined! how? it gets like wet or smth! how'd that happened? he threw himself into the sea #also isnt it fitting that my memory problems is making me not remember the things that happen in disco elysium very well wheezes #so whoops if the characterization is a lil off lmaoooooo #but i have been trying to figure out how i want harry to be in this swap au #i dont think he's as well as he wants you to believe he is. and just the image of him pushing this 'youre allowed to be in denial about + #this' to kim about the kineema was so vivid in my head and idk if that tracks but hell. its in there now dfghdjfg #starry don't look #sunnysidedraws #sunnysidedisco

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

#i talk sometimes #art talk #i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately #also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!! #I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me? #i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details #and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself. #it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that #instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder. #i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!! #i just luv art man!!

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[silicon-puppy-pudding]

Can Fright Knight x Batman be a thing? Is it already a thing? I just saw this post where Frighty is acting as Danny's dad and I just want something with Fredric Knight meeting Bruce like..

Bruce is happy Daimian is making friends. This new kid, Daniel "call me Danny" Knight, seems nice. Kid might be a meta or something, with the way his eyes reflect like a cats and how he seems to always be cold, but he doesn't seem to be a bad kid and his background seemed to check out.

Yesterday Damian had invited Danny over for a sleepover and Bruce was stoked. Dami is having a friend over! A civilian friend! This is so normal and great! Danny had said his father would be picking him up the next day and would show up on his motorcycle (which was apparently named Nightmare?)

Bruce is in the sitting room close to the entrance when Alfred goes to buzz the gate for Danny's father. After a few minutes, he can hear Alfred walking the man in and explaining that "young Master Damian will be down with young Daniel in a few minutes. Till then, maybe you'd like to speak with Master Bruce?"

Bruce almost falls out of his seat when this almost 7 foot tall hunk of a man walks in, with his long raven black hair with a streak of gray down the center, all pulled back into a low ponytail. His bright green eyes have that same, almost glowing, shine that Danny's have and he's got a neat bit of stubble on his sharp jaw. He holds himself tall and seems to scan the room before setting his gaze on Bruce, who is using all his will to not ogle at this gorgeous man in front of him.

He stands to greet him and, oh God, he may actually be 7ft. "You must be Danny's dad, right?" He offers his hand to shake, "Bruce Wayne. I'm happy to see my son making friends with such a nice kid."

The behemoth of a man stares at his hand for just a moment to long before he shakes it and introduces himself, "Fredric Knight. I'm also glad my son is making friends." He says with the hint of a smile, "He's been a bit reclusive since we came here and I don't believe that's been healthy for him."

The two fathers talk for a bit, Bruce doing his best to be Batman ever now and then to make sure this guy isn't a potential threat. After some time, Danny and Damien walk into the room with Danny's bags, "Hey Dad, hi Mr. Bruce. Sorry that took so long," he says as he walks over to Fred (Bruce was told he could call him that) and half hugs the man, "Dami has a snake and he let me feed her!" Fred looks down at his son and pats his head, "That sounds interesting, little prince. Was it a frightful creature?"

As father and son speak, Bruce notes how fond Fred seems of Danny. The 'little prince' name seemed cute and pretty fitting with the last name. He also notes how Fred seemed to relax just a bit the moment Danny walked into the room (the same way he would after his children returned from patrol safe and unharmed), huh.

They say their goodbyes and the father-son duo are escorted out. Bruce and Damien watch as they ride down the driveway, Danny doing his best to wave at them from between his father's arms.

"We should invite the both of them over for dinner." Bruce says with a hand on his son's shoulder, "Fred seems like an interesting character, don't you think?"

"Father,"

"Yes Damian?"

"Please do not seduce my friends father."

#danny phantom #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #fic prompt #dcxdp #Bruce deserves a big hunky man that isn't currently in a relationship #Dami isn't having this shit #Bruce is trying to be suspicious but mans is hot #fright night #Fright Knight x Batman #Fredric Knight x Bruce Wayne??? #Danny would honestly think its kinda funny that Frighty doesn't realize he's seducing Bruce #Frighty is just trying to be a good human dad #Human dads talk about their kids and hobbies right? #dinner is a normal human activity that friends and family partake in right?? #is this Bruce character his friend now?? #Frighty: I've make an adult friend like you said i should #Danny: i don't think you understand what a crush looks like #Frighty: Crush? Am i meant to destroy something in the name of friendship?? #Danny trying not to lose it: 🤭 no dad please don't 🤣

[cozylittleartblog]

is this the tragic clown the sims warned me about

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #pomni #art #doodles #sketchdump #just kidding that's the other guy that got turned into the forbidden polygon spaghetti and eyeballs #artblock go brrt haha #''say the line cozy'' i don't like how this looks (crowd cheers) #maybe I'M the tragic clown #the first fanart is always the most intimidating i'm fine now probably #i also have to draw feddy fanart i just don't have any good ideas for that either #feddy movie is good btw. surprisingly. i have already seen it three times #anyway pomni is cute i like her. i hope nothing demented happens to her (so many demented things are going to happen to her) #once again scheduling this for when i will be asleep so i can't change my mind about it. which is how i post most of my art

[old-desert]

Ah yes, hooman Loop

^ early concept

#I don't think much of human Loop designs but if it is on my mind I always think of it as like #that one “Loop gets summoned by the gang” fic on ao3 where tall Loop started shrinking and then just kinda Siffrinifies back #basically yeah I imagine if Loop human then wish craft ran out #Loop's hairstyle is basically Siffrin if they ever brushed their hair #the headcanon behind this is that their time spent as a star made Loop appreciate their old body so #if Loop ever gained back their Siffrin body they'd really want to “preserve” it #it's self care but only in a roundabout way #They're not thinking about it in terms of “looking good” it's about saving their body at its peak condition for the longest time possible #due to trauma and stuff <33 #also yea they definitely own like 1000 creams salves and oils for every part of their body #isat #in stars and time #loop #isat loop #loop isat #isat spoilers #my art #art tag #desert art

[writeouswriter]

People sorting ao3 solely by stats and only clicking on fics with a certain amount of kudos or comments, you will not survive the winter, nor the summer, nor at all, *brings out knife,* run

#ao3 #fanfiction #because if everyone thinks like that then so many fics that might be great get buried and fall into the void #someone has to read it with no hits or kudos #not to mention sometimes people just have wildly different tastes so you don't know unless you look at it yourself #i put a bunch of exclusion filters and then go by summary and tags and open all the ones that sound interesting to me #if they're bad well easy enough to move on #but lotta good ones hidden in there with not a comment in sight and i must change that #knife tw #? #tw knife mention

[piko-power]

"I never knew you were a hugger..."

"No body protects nature better than you, sweet Amy."

Whoa, he's bisexual! I didn't know that!

#piko rambles #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #sonamy #sonadow #sonamyshad #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #Look. I love sonadow so goddamn much. But ALSO. #sonamy was something I was OBSESSED with as a kid. I don't love it as much as I used to but I still find it adorable like sonadow. #We got good food from these hedgehogs. #This was in my drafts since when Season 3 came out and I was so nervous to post this because everyone has OPINIONS about sonamy. #<--- Which I don't blame them for. Some sonamy fans are not really... nice. Let's just put it at that. #Plus everyone has different opinions on sonamy and that's okay! I'm just happy that there are fans with opinions that differ from mine- #-but are also fantastic people I look up to! Makes me feel like I'm not alone 😊

[andy-clutterbuck]

Apocalypse Dad Uniform™ Rick Grimes - The Walking Dead | Joel Miller - The Last of Us

#Rick Grimes #Joel Miller #* #rg #The Last Of Us #i couldn't not think this? #i'm sorry? #Im sorry #im not sorry #maybe it was the margaritas? idk #im not here to like MAKE COMPARISONS™ #this is just a laugh #i love rick I love joel #i really don't think they're alike at all unless you're looking very shallow #the game is very dear to me and im so happy that so far things are good #i like attractive men in attractive shirts ok

[cosmicwhoreo]

.... Okay, so I might have made a ahit oc during my downtime. Based on the idea of "yeah the idea of hat kid being a little space orphan doing a job is sad.... But what if they were separated from their family and needed to get back home instead?"

And what if their worried mother came to the planet they were on, looking for them after they'd JUST LEFT like a month ago?

SOOOOOO HERE'S SUMMER!

I may have gotten carried away with myself on this idea-

#I THOUGHT IT'D BE A FUN IDEA FOR LIKE A FAN SEQUEL OKAY?? #Just a worried mom looking for their little gremlin of a kid while said kid's friends are still processing them being gone- #Getting progressively more and more angry the longer she's stuck on the planet with these bozos and not finding her child #I don't got any programming knowledge so this idea's staying an idea for the rest of time #I... I have more of her #she's a good mom #Summer #ahit #a hat in time #a hat in time oc #Hat Mom #I SWEAR I'M FINISHING COMMISSIONS JUST LET ME BE ABNORMAL OKAY?