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#like i know i should try to keep it looking nice and all
laneywrld · 3 days
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Oh Baby | Lewis Hamilton mini series
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part one.
word count: 7.7k
Warnings: smut, absolute filth. breeding kink
Lewis can't help but want to give his best friend everything she desires. she can have whatever she wants.
You were Lewis' best friend; the world knew it. The world also saw that he admired you in a way he hadn't anyone else.
You'd been in Lewis' life since the two of you were literal babies. Your dad was best friends with Anthony, Lewis' father, so in a way, you two were destined to be the best of mates. 
Sometimes, Lewis wishes he had the chance to meet you organically, but as quickly as that thought flickers through his mind, it is pushed away just as fast.
He would've been alone as a kid if you had come later in his life. But still, meeting you later would've changed the trajectory of your guy's relationship. He wouldn't be stuck in the constant lock of just being your "best friend."
He would continue to stick out his role and push through his torture if it meant you keeping him around.
Since you were kids, you two have been joined at the hip. You were always there to defend him at school when the bullies got to him. You were always down to follow his dreams with him, even if it meant convincing your dad to let you ride with his family to watch him go-karting in the sweltering heat. You were always there. 
You still are, and maybe that's what's got his heart thrumming in his chest as he watches you dance with his brother Nicholas. The two of your hands are entwined as you sway to the music blasting from the speakers.  
As Nicholas twirls you around, your eyes meet Lewis for a brief second, and you smile at him before you are faced with his brother again. You joke with Nicholas as the two of you dance, your head constantly turning to check on Lewis.
He loves how his family is your own and vice versa. He loves how you treat his brother with the same tender love and care that he does. He can't help but to admire everything you do, even if it's just including his brother in something as simple as dancing.
You give him a curious look as you sway with Nicholas. He only grins in return, raising his glass at you. He sees your eyes fleet over his shoulder, and then your mouth pierces together in a knowing smile. You tilt your head to motion behind him, and when he turns to follow your orders, he sees Laura approaching. 
When he turns back to you, you are no longer dancing wildly with his brother but sitting comfortably with your friends, accepting the shot Miles pours for you. 
Lewis shakes his head, turning to greet Laura. He shouldn't feel disappointed and he shouldn't feel an emptiness wallow in his gut at the mere fact that he can't watch you sway in the night. His girlfriend, (if you could even call her that), was approaching and he should be glad to see her, but he can't help but to relish in the fact that'd he'd rather observe you from a distance than be in her presence.
"Hey baby!" she cheers. " I'm sorry I'm late. I got hung up at the agency."
"S'fine." He smiles, embracing the hug. "Let's grab you a drink and then settle in with everyone."
Meanwhile you are trying your best to tame your friends and their instantly sour moods. "C'mon y'all. Be nice to the girl."
"Nice?" Whitney scoffs. "I don't like that lil' girl."
"Whit." You scold, "She's not for us to like; as long as Lew likes her, we support them, yeah?" 
"Whatever," Miles piques up, "She not good enough for my guy?"
Always the wiser one, you shoot miles with a frown that shows your agreeance: "We can think that, but who are we to decide for him? Lew's not an idiot. When the time comes to make the right call, he'll make it, yeah?"
"Yeah." Daniel says, "But the only right call would be you."
You smack your teeth, reaching for another shot. "Here this nigga go on his shit again."
The table erupts in laughter just as Lewis approaches with Laura.
"Guys, you all remember Laura?"
"Do we?" Whit scoffs under her breath, downing a shot. The group breaks into fits of sniggering. You eye them with a look that screams, Act right! before turning to face Lewis and Laura in your seat.
"Laura, hi! girl!" You dragged.
Once again, you shoot your eyes across the group; one by one, they all push out fake ass hellos or a mumbled What's up.
Lew watches on as you turn to him, smiling. He can't help it as his own grows wider.
After the phony greeting, Lewis drags Laura to sit with him. The only open spot is the two-seater across from you. 
Conversation is ablaze in the midst of the circle. You lean forward chatting with Laura for a while since no one else bothered. Lewis has his arm thrown over her shoulder but he is watching you. Like always.
"Oh, so you planned this gathering?" Laura questions.
"Isn't it obvious?" You joke. "Lew could never." You motion to the lights and grand decor located around the yard.
"Oh, please." Lewis smacks his teeth.
"Admit it, Lew. It's my thing. Tell me I did good."
"You did great." He smirks, leaning back, his legs spread in a way that has you ready to drool.
You divert your eyes, sitting back in your own seat.
"Y/N's so domestic, it's giving wife."
You squint your eyes at Whit, giving her the ultimate stink face.
"You're always going to be the stepmum to us Laura. We can't separate mum and dad." Mori speaks up.
There was an ongoing joke in your friend group that had been circling for years. You and Lewis were Mum and Dad, you two paired together so well that it was like watching the perfect marriage. Your friends referred to you as each others "hubby" and "wifey".
Still, your friends were beginning to get out of pocket, and you turned to Lewis expecting him to put an end to their shenanigans like any good dad would. He only smiles at you his eyebrows wiggling in a playful manner.
You feel your cheeks burn as he doesn't deny it.
"She is quite domestic, would make the perfect wife." Miles piques up from beside Lewis.
It's a scheme that you two were left out of, a plan made to force you two to realize your feelings for each other.
His words trinkle into Lewis' mind. He's always thought you'd make the perfect wife. He's thought about marrying you seriously plenty of times. It's also been a childhood dream of his to make it official, especially after having your own wedding ceremony at the playground under the monkey bars, commemorated by strawberry ring-pops and sand confetti that had both of your parents grumbling as they scrubbed your scalps clean that night.
He's only ever told Miles this, but he wishes he never got seriously involved that first time at all. He thinks he did it out of pure irrationality. You had your first serious boyfriend, and Lewis thought well shit. To him it seemed as though you'd never be that into him. So he spent seven years on and off with a woman he was unsure about when all he really wanted was you. He's wasted so much time.
He thinks back to the times where distance sprouted between you two. Nicole didn't like how close the two of you were, and you respected it even if he didn't want you to. He feels a bit like a dickhead thinking of all the times he lied to his ex telling her you were nothing more than a friend to him. It was obviously a lie. If it wasn't a lie he wouldn't have spent majority of his relationship trying to make you realize what it was you were missing. Hint: it obviously didn't work, or you'd be the girl under his arm right now.
"I'll be back in a few," you announce, standing from your seat. I'm going to go do my rounds. Give Lew a break." Lewis' stare was beginning to get intense, you could feel your little resolve crumbling the longer her stared into your soul.
He watches you stroll over to his dad and your dad, stepping in between them and wrapping your arms around their waist. He can't read your lips but can tell that whatever you said had the two doubled over in laughter. You pat their backs, trekking over to your next target.
You're a little ways away, refilling wine glasses at the "mum table." His mum has you saying something that leads to you smooching the top of her head as you pass by. You set the bottle on the table before suspiciously eyeing your mother and opting to pull it to the other end. Lewis lets out a chuckle, watching your antics.
It'd been awkward silence covering the group like a blanket since you'd left. Everyone watching Lewis, watch you.
You had convinced Lew to buy this house, practically begged him all of those years ago. "Lew, the backyard," you had marveled, hands outstretched at your sides. "Imagine hosting out here." You had gone on a rant, dragging him across each area of the yard and throwing out ideas for gatherings that didn't even exist.
He closed the deal that same day. He was glad he listened to you as he watched you light some sparklers for the group of kids. He watches you crouch down to his nephew's level, pressing him against your front as you direct the sparkler into his hand. 
He couldn't see your face but could tell you were muttering words of encouragement into his ear. 
You stand with a proud grin when he twirls the stick around confidently. 
You turn as a small child tugs on your dress, "I'm thirsty, Auntie y/n/n."
You coo, picking up your friend's child. "Hi, mama! let's fix that for you." You pop her onto your hip, waltzing into the house from the open patio doors. She runs out moments later, a juice box snug in her hands. You follow after, arms full of the very same juice.
You crouch down as the children huddle around you. You poke each straw through the hole before passing them out one by one.
"Look at Mama Bear." Whit laughs as her eyes follow Lewis' line of sight. He is watching you with a smile and that classic sparkle in his eye that he always seems to have when it comes to you.
"She'd make a great mum, huh?" Lewis rasps out. 
You're back at the fire pit before you know it.
"Yeah, Mori, you should totally let me kidnap your child next weekend."
"Have her girl, she's all yours." She scoffs, "badass little girl."
The group laughs, but Lewis can't help but notice the gloom flash over your face before it quickly washes away.
He knows about your desire to have a family. He remembers how you opened up to him about it after your last relationship ended, and you took it worse than you ever had before.
He remembers that day like it was yesterday.
You were a drunken, blubbering mess, sitting on his couch with puffy eyes and a blotchy face. "Ugh!" you groaned, reaching for the bottle to pour yourself another glass. He beats you to it, pulling it away and setting it down on the table at the end of the couch.
"Hey," he coos, his hand pulling you into his side as your lip wobbles. You can't help the outburst of tears for what feels like the 100th time.
"Let's talk about it, yeah? That might help a bit."
You had been friends for so long, and not once had he seen you this distraught. In fact, you were the one comforting him most of the time.
"I hate him," you whined, reaching up to cover your face. He got me over here looking stupid."
"Hey," he pulls your hand down, still holding you against him, just holding your hand down at your side as well. "Don't be embarrassed for feeling, ain't that what you tell me?"
"Yeah," you shudder.
"Now, talk to me."
"I wanted kids. I don't think i'm that hurt about him you know?" you don't give him time to answer, "I just feel like I'm not meant to be with someone, like love is not for me. Sometimes it seems like everyone has a person out there for them but me. I want a family of my own. I love my family and yours, but it's different." you cry harder then.
"I want a human to love unconditionally, I want babies, and I want to be a mom; I would make a great mumma."
"You would." He hums, his free hand coming up to wipe your face. You pull away turning to face him, your legs are crossed in front of you and he reaches forward grasping both of your hands in his. 
He has one leg propped under the other, and his body is turned to face you. The way he's looking at you makes you want to break down into another fit of tears. No one pays attention to you as much as Lewis.
"Is there something wrong with me?" You ask, and you sound so broken that Lewis is fighting off tears of his own.
"You're perfect." He assures, and his hold on your hands grows tighter. "There's someone out there who loves you whole. Through and through, you hear me? There's nothing wrong with you, just the wrong people you've come across. You're going to get all that you want one day. He was an idiot anyway. What happened anyway, huh? What made him-."
"I left him." you interrupted, "which is crazy that i'm crying over him this bad but I could feel a disconnect between us, we were too different, didn't have the same end goal."
"You know what's beautiful about this?"
You look up to him with a baffled expression to say what the actual fuck is beautiful about being an emotional mess. He chuckles, swiping one hand against your wet cheek, where he settles his palm to cup your face. 
"One day, when you get what you desire, you're going to appreciate it a whole lot more because of how much you had to go through to get it."
And if Lewis wasn't a scary idiot, he swore he'd given you a kid right there and then, hell, however many you wanted. He's always had a soft spot for you, giving you anything you could have remotely even thought about wanting. You mention wanting to visit Brazil, bam, you're on his private jet whisked away, you want a yard to throw family gatherings, the deed is signed. You complain about wanting specific cupcakes from your favorite bakery, he was out of town but it was nothing to have his assistant travel across town to place them at your door. The point is, he'd give you anything in a second. He's good for it and he'd give you his baby if you really truly wanted.
You look up to Lewis the same memory flowing through both of your minds, he shoots you a tiny smile, raising his glass in your direction. You return his expression sipping from your freshly filled wine glass. 
Your smile blows him away; he can never control the way his heart lurches; you'd think after years and years, your charm would lose its effect on him, but somehow, they grow stronger and stronger as each day passes by.
He doesn't know how long his group of friends sit around the fire pit laughing and chattering along (you including Laura every chance you get, seeing as your other friends seem to have forgotten she exists.) Before he knows it his father is approaching. "Son, there's a million sleeping kids all over your house, I think that's our queue to pack it up."
At that announcement you guys' friends begin to pack themselves up. Lewis says his goodbyes. The group sniggers as Anthony shoots a "Nice meeting you Lauren."
"He called me Lauren," she pouts, "and I've met him before."
"Don't pay it any mind," you speak up balancing an armful of empty glasses, "he's got a bad memory."
You scold your friends, shooing them off as Lewis apologizes to Lauren, Laura.
After a while the house is empty and you say the goodbyes in place of Lewis. As you load the dishwasher you see them bicker back and forth through the large window. 
You close the door, pressing start, deciding to stop evading their private conversation. You connect to Lewis' speaker, soft melodies bleeding through the house as you go room to room, collecting any foreign object that doesn't belong. You sit with Roscoe for a while after refilling his bowl, giving him kisses and rubs until his body vibrates with snores and then you are up and at it again finding anything to tidy.
You sing quietly to yourself you huff wiping the imaginary dust onto your dress. Just as you're going to sneak from the home, Lewis' voice halts you in your tracks.
"You're leaving?" His eyes are furrowed, and his face is scrunched up.
"I- uh yeah, I didn't know how long the two of you were going to be."
"You're not staying the night?"
Your eyes flicker between Lewis and Laura, "Um, no." you chuckle hoping he'd catch the hint.
As much as you loved Lewis and spending time with him, that love didn't cover listening to him fuck the brains out of his current fling.
"She's not staying," Lewis speaks up.
You are still frozen by the door, your hand holding onto the handle. You peek at Laura, her face covered in disdain.
Your mouth drops open and then closed, trying to figure out the words to articulate your desire to leave in order to avoid whatever weird tension is brewing.
"Bye, Lewis." Laura bites, her long legs striding past you quickly. You move to the side, and she slips through the door without saying so much as a word to you.
"Ooh," you whistle, watching as the door frame rattles from the intensity of the close.
"What's her problem?"
"Your friends are bitches Lew." He mocks in a whiny voice.
You laugh, clutching your chest, "They're a bit rude." 
"Yeah," he sighs.
"For good cause," you continue.
"Yeah."
"I mean, I don't like the girl either, but as long as you don't mind what she did then-."
"You staying." Lewis interrupts. He really didn't feel like talking about Laura, especially since he was alone in your presence for the first time today; it was all he wanted for his birthday.
It'd been three weeks since he last saw you, and while the two of you talked on the phone and texted every single day, it'd never compare to actually being in your space. 
You groan as he puckers out his bottom lip, giving you his signature puppy dog eyes that always seem to convince you to do whatever he's asking for.
"Only because it's your birthday, and these heels hurt my feet so much, I don't really think I can drive."
"Oh please," Lewis laughs, "don't act like you don't wanna spend time with me. Excuses, excuses, excuses."
You waddle over to him, grasping onto his waiting arm as you bend at your knees to free your aching feet from said heels.
He takes the shoes from your hand, leading you up the stairs. 
As the two of you approach his bedroom, you feel your excitement boil over.
When he opens the door, you speak up, "I figured what'd be a good gift for someone who literally has enough money to buy whatever he wanted. Then I remembered how much you miss home while you're away and came to the conclusion that money could never bring that kind of comfort."
Lewis sniffles as he looks at the array of gifts spread over his bed. 
There is a stuffed Roscoe and Coco, a scrapbook that you'd dug into the archives to fill, letters from his family, your family, your friends, and an array of letters from you. Flowers, because to you, he deserved his more than anyone walking. You'd recreated his favorite ever birthday gift to him, a knit cheetah that you had your grandma help crochet with you for weeks before his seventh birthday. It's safe to say the OG had gone through a lot over the years. And finally, his first helmet from his carting career. He remembers his parents not being able to afford his helmet after buying him a game console for his birthday.
He remembers how upset he was but understanding of his parent's situation. He also remembers you leaving his party that night, face set in as much determination as it could be for a kid. The next day, you popped up with your dad shoving a brand new helmet adorned in a purple sticky bow into his arms. It'd been so many years since he'd last seen the helmet; as a teen, he'd gotten rid of so many things he considered to be junk, the helmet being one. But the older he got, the more he realized just how sentimental stuff like that was.
"You don't understand how hard I had to search through my Granny's attic for that. She always figured you'd want that back one day, pulled it right out of your yard sale that day."
Off to the side were stacked shoe boxes, a box from his jeweler, and a few designer bags.
He throws his arms over your shoulders, pulling you into his chest; he nestles his head atop of yours before he cranes to press multiple kisses to your hairline. "You're my favorite person in the whole world, know that, right?" He rasps.
"You wrap your arms around his waist pulling him in closer. "I love you Lew, happy birthday. You deserve it all."
You don't know how long the two of you stand their wrapped in each other's embrace before you part. 
"You can shower in here; I'll hop in the guest."
"Unzip me?"
You turn giving him your back to face, you feel his hand reach up to gently swipe your hair over your shoulder, you shiver as his finger tips glide against the skin of your neck.
"I'm gonna unclip your necklace first," he announces, and his voice is raspier than usual. He gulps as he pinches at the golden clasp, reaching one hand around your front to catch the dainty piece of jewelry.
He places it into you waiting palm, and feels his hands get clammy as he holds onto your hip for leverage. Holding you into place as his other hand glides the zipper down your back. His mouth waters and his heart hammers at the sight of your glowy skin being reveled to him.
You hold the dress up at the front, staring at him from the mirror in the corner of his room. His eyes meet yours in the mirror and there is such a charged tension lingering between the two of you. There are no words spoken as the two of you revel in each others presence. Both of his hands are now on your hips as you fell yourself subtly lean back into him. His chains cool your back as you sink into him. 
You smile at him through the mirror, "I really did miss you, but I have to shower. I'm sweaty, and I've been chasing kids around all day."
He chuckles, nudging you away but not before leaning over your shoulder, craning his neck in order to place a lingering kiss on your cheek that is almost too close to the corner of your mouth.
"Go shower, stinky."
You roll your eyes, treading into the bathroom and closing the door. You let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding.
Fuck, it was so challenging yet so exhilarating being in Lew's presence when all you want to do is strip him bare and have your way with him.
You put those thoughts aside and turned on the shower.
When you're clean and dry, you exit the bathroom in your robe (Lewis always keeps an extra for you), where you see Lewis sprawled across the bed, clad only in a pair of boxers. He watches you as you stride past, his head lies against the bed turning to follow your movements. He watches you disappear into his closet and exit, covered in his Mercedes t-shirt that falls down your thighs.
He lulls away the inappropriate images flowing through his mind and instead focuses on the fact that you're wearing his shirt to bed rather than any selection of your clothing piled in his dressers or hanging in your section of his closet.
He makes no attempt to move as you crawl up the bed towards him.
The scene is an absolute vision; he feels blood rush to his member, and he has to use all of his willpower not to let out the lewd groan he's containing.
You only smile at him, and you look so fucking beautiful and innocent he swears if you stare at him for any longer, he'd say fuck it all and pull you down underneath him.
He starts a mental countdown, but before he reaches one, you are flipping onto your back, his arm serving as a pillow as you fit comfortably against his side.
You turn your head to the right, seeing the bottle of liquor in his hand. 
"Give me that." He passes it over, his lips turned up in a smirk.
You lift your head, taking a good bit down your throat before passing it back; he does the same.
"I've got to post you for your birthday!" You gasp excitedly. You two joke around as you upload to your pages.
y/u/n
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liked by haileybeiber, landonorris and 1,472,872 others
y/u/n my favorite holiday, happy birthday lewlew, i love you to the moon and back, although you love to move through life fast I am always happy to spend slow days like this together with you cheetah, thank you for the lifelong memories and for sticking by me, i love you like no other <3
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whitwhit mum and dad ❤️ happy birthday pops
fencer Petition to make today a national holiday.
lewishamiton I love you more than life bunny, Thank you for today it was everything I needed.
lewishamilton
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liked by mercedesamg, charles_leclerc and 3,563,986 others
lewishamilton Another one 🎂 Always a blast spending time with the people I love. Blessed to see another year surrounded by those I love. Special shoutout to bunny for the impromptu birthday celebration, every year that passes I am reminded of how we've gone through life together, always. Can't wait to spend many more years surrounded by love and happiness, thank you for the birthday wishes.
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user the way his post is full of him and y/n as kids. they really grew with each other 🥹
y/u/n cakes and candles my guy i luv uuuu
morismith +1 dad 🥳 child of a happy and healthy marriage
You two laugh as you scroll through your friends' comments. Somewhere along the line of you two passing the bottle back and forth, you began your own game of twenty-one questions, extra juicy, seeing as you two already knew damn near everything about the other.
"Hmmm!" you light up, "take a shot, or tell me why Nicki called you a weird little guy." 
Lewis smacks his teeth but breaks into a fit of laughter as you turn over, propping your chin up against his arm. Your feet kick back and forth as you stare into him.
"You're messy." He declares, downing another shot.
You groan, reaching over his bare body to take the bottle. "And you're no fun."
"What's one thing you've never told anyone, including me? I mean deepest, darkest secret."
You hum again, allowing Lewis to reposition the two of you. Now he is rested against the headboard, and your head rests on his lap. You let out a gentle moan when his fingers begin to rub against your scalp—his member twitches in his boxers.
"Answer the question." He demands his hands, pushing your head forward slightly to avoid the feel of his growing penis.
Your eyes bore into his, and he could see you fighting to decide whether to tell him or not. He almost tells you to take your shot until the words tumble from your plush lips.
"I used to have the biggest crush on you for the longest time, like probably was in love with you." You admit. Your eyes never leave his and it has his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He feels many questions running through his mind and they want to tumble out like an avalanche but like the relaxed person he is, he plays it cool.
"yeah, and what happened to these feelings, bunny?"
You smile at the nickname, rolling your eyes as you scoff. Lewis always picked at your cute persona as a kid, calling you as sweet and timid as a bunny, the bunny teeth also didn't help.
"You almost got married," you answered. "Realized that a childhood crush was just that, I let it simmer for so long that I made it seem realistic. When you started considering taking things further, I think I closed that book, locked that door, and threw away the key. It was easy when you left her and started running rabid like a fucking dog." you snort.
He laughs with you, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You calling me a slut?"
"If the condom fits." You tease. 
He rolls his eyes, but deep down inside, he is in shambles over the chance with you that he's missed. And he's regretting every decision that led up to you losing those feelings for him. "Next question."
You're staring deep into his soul with those sparkly eyes again and he can't help but return the same lovey eyes back. He always feels like this with you, wholly enamored and floored by anything that you do. 
You look so sweet and perfect that he doesn't expect the question that falls from your lovely mouth. "What's your favorite kink, like what's something that you do during sex that has you absolutely ready to go berserk?"
"You got a dirty mind, bunny." He teases, two fingers tapping against your temple.
"I've got a breeding kink, I think." He doesn't go into full detail, describing how he discovered it years ago when out shopping with you, and you passed through the baby aisle to shop for his newborn niece at the time. He doesn't describe how his pants tightened at the sight of you holding up cute little onesies or how his mind wandered to you laying spread out in his bed, being pumped full of his cum and loving it, begging for it. He doesn't tell you how he came the hardest he'd ever come in his life that night in his shower, imagining you plump with his child and a bright smile on your lips.
"Elaborate." There is a glint in your eyes as you observe him that urges him to finish his thoughts.
"It's something about loving someone so much that you want to fill them up with another part of you. You love someone so much that you want them to swell up with what is yours. Just fucking the cum back into them every time it slips out, one goal. Give someone my babies."
As he talks, his own words excite him; you can feel it, and you say nothing. The air surrounding you two is charged with such a lewd and sensual energy.
You throb between your thighs as he speaks to you, and his voice is getting deeper and deeper. He is hot and hard against your cheek; you stare up at him, your eyes leaving his own to trail the way his lips move to the way his jaw clenches, to the way his throat bobs all the way to his tatted, glowing chest. His words are getting to you. It's no secret that you, too, had a breeding kink, but hearing him say the words you wished to hear spoken to you in the midst of passion made you shoot into action. You are on his lap before you know it, mouth mushing against his in an instant.
He doesn't hesitate to return the favor; he separates your lips, gliding his tongue into your mouth, licking you open. You moan into his mouth, pressing yourself against him harder. He lets out a shaky breath through his nose, reaching one hand up to grasp the back of your neck and the other on your ass, pushing you impossibly closer to him.
You rock your hips against him, grinding down over him; he lets out a raspy groan, pulling away from your lips, his head falling to watch where your bodies connect; he lets out a moan as his grey briefs darken in color. You continue to glide back and forth over him
You swear you hear him whimper as you lift from his lap. He reaches to pull you back, but you are too fast; kneeling between his spread legs, the sight alone has him letting out another drawn-out whine. Your hand creeps up, rubbing him through the material. You were such a fucking vixen it was driving him mad. His head falls back against the headboard, and his eyes squeeze shut. You're barely doing anything to him, and it feels better than anything he's ever experienced, and he can only equate it to it being you.
You finally free him from his confines, and his head drops down to view you, and his jaw falls slack.
You jerk him up and down, your thumb swiping over the slit at the head of his perfect cock. You moan at the sight, and he twitches. You kiss at the top, staring at him through your lashes, and he swears he almost burst right then and there. Your lips are shiny with spit and you're practically drooling over him. As you place kisses up and down his shaft. You finally slip him into your mouth humming as you taste him. It has his legs spasming making you jostle a little.
You pop him from your mouth, giving him a cute smile that has him throwing his head back. She's going to fucking kill me.
You're moaning over him, driving him absolutely fucking insane. Lewis watches you through clouded eyes, his hand traveling to your hair. He pushes you lower and lower until you're shoving all of him down your throat, and then he pulls you off for air. You smile up at him going down again, and he lets out the nastiest moan you've ever heard.
"So fucking greedy for my dick." You'd never heard him speak like this, and it was scrambling your brain and your insides. "Mhmm," you moan over him. He holds onto your hair with his left hand, his right hand trailing to pull up the shirt that adorns your beautiful body. The higher he raises the shirt, the more unstable he becomes; the black panties cover barely anything, and when he continues to glide his hand up your back, your breasts hang loosely. He fondled them in his hand tweaking your nipple.
He tenses up, watching you take him down your throat like a champ, "fuuckk." 
He pulls you up for the last time, leaning down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. He thrust up into nothing. His tongue finds it's way into your mouth and moves along with you in the most sensual kiss you'd ever gotten in your life.
"Lew." you whine, and it has him tensing again. This was better than he'd imagined. For years for his entire life he'd pictured this moment, played it out in a million different scenarios and they don't even measure up to this.
He was harder than he'd ever been and ready to finish at the mere sight of you looking up at him with his cock stuffed in your mouth.
"I can't- I won't last-" He is breathless, and his chest is falling up and down harshly. He looks so perfect, face tinted red and lips red and plump.
"Fuck me then," you order, and it flips a switch in him.
He'd dreamed of this moment, and he would be damned if he let his mind fuck this up for him. He pulls the large shirt from your frame and flips you over, laying you gently on your back. He hikes your legs up, spreading them open and pressing them down. Your knees touch the bed flat at your sides, and you mewl as his tongue flatly glides against your core.
You shiver and shake as he sucks you up. You can't stop squirming as he literally eats you. You moan his name over and over, hands coming down to clutch his curls. He moans against your core, pressing you down harder. You quiver in his hold, and you can feel that ball inside you, ready to burst. "Come for me, baby, let it out." He urges kissing your clit. He sucks it into his mouth, and that's when it happens.
The best orgasm you've had in your life. He licks you through it before sitting up on his knees. He still has you spread open at his mercy, and the sight below him has him stroking himself above you.
"So fucking pretty." he rasps, "ready for me?"
You nod, so fucked out that words seem impossible to you.
He chuckles, his hand coming up to hold you open as his other directs his hard dick to your hole; he pushes the head in at first, hissing as you suck him in. "Mhhm," he moans, "want me so bad, huh?"
You mewl, trying to push your body up to push him in.
"Aht, aht." he pushes his hand against you harder. "Let me take my time, make it right for us, yeah. Been wanting this forever."
His words make you gush more and more; you'd never imagine that Lewis, of all people, was this vocal during sex.
"He lets go of himself, both hands now gripping your thighs that are still burning against your chest. He stares deep into your soul as he pushes himself in an inch just to ease out just as slowly.
"Gotta stretch this pretty pussy out first, huh? So fucking tight." he coos.
Your eyes fall closed, your mouth going slack as he slides in again. "It's your dick, baby. All yours."
"C'mon bunny, wanna see your eyes, wanna watch you take me." You open your eyes breaths leaving you as little hitches as he finally fills you up.
"He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, his eyes watching where the two of you connect. "Fits so good," he groans, "made jus' for me."
You only mewl and clench the sheets.
"So pretty," he drops your legs, propping himself up on an elbow; his weight covers you like a security blanket. "Mhmm." he moans, sliding in and out of you. Your walls were suffocating him, sucking him in and trying to keep him in place. His face is scrunched up in pure pleasure as he succumbs to your velvety walls. So fucking warm and wet.
"Love this pussy." he groans before his mouth is back on yours. 
"Say it's mine," he orders pulling back, he is towering over you again, one hand clutching your face to watch him watch you.
You only moan, equating his words to being in the moment even though they have your stomach doing flips.
"Say it's mine, baby, and I'll give you what you want." 
It's like he hit a switch in you, brought out a side of you that you've never been able to release.
"It's yours," you coo, "all yours, only yours."
His eyes shine at your words, pressing a quick peck to your lips. 
"Nobody can give it to you like me, they don't deserve it, been so good to you. Hmm. Can give you everything you want."
One hand travels down to your stomach, where he presses down, "Feel me in there?"
"yes." you gasp, eyes rolling back; the sex is no longer slow and sensual. He is pounding into you so hard that your body lurches up and down the bed, and your breast bounces with every thrust. 
Lewis Hamilton is a dirty man, you conclude watching his lips fall open from the dirty smirk he'd had it in. 
"Got something else to put in there." You clench around him tighter curses falling from his mouth as he stills inside of you.
You know he is only in the moment, this whole debacle started because of his admission of a praise kink, you know he's playing along with yours, he wants to get you there in the same way you want to get him there so you play along.
"I want it." you whine, "want it all."
Lewis thought it was impossible for him to get any hornier, but once again, you've proven him wrong.
"Want you to fill me up, want to be full of you." You play on his words from earlier. "Want all of you."
He moans once again, spreading you open. He is plowing into you. Loud grunts left his throat as he digs deeper and deeper into you. He can feel every crevice of your flesh as you swallow him.
"Gonna give you what you want, make you big and full, have you carrying my babies. Going to have what you always wanted, love."
Your eyes fall shut at his words in utter bliss.
He lays on top of you, the burn of your thighs spreading. His hands travel to your own, holding them on either side of your head. His head is nestled between the crook of your neck; he's sucking and licking along your neck. You feel him everywhere.
"mmph," you moan as he reaches and punches against your sweet spot over and over. 
Lewis is so fucked out in a loving haze that he can't control the words tumbling from his lips onto your skin.
"Wanted this forever, so long." He whimpers, "Feel so good, only wanna feel you. Only wanted you."
You free one hand from his hold wrapping it around to rub at the curls at the nape of his neck. You want him to keep talking, keep feeding you the words you've waited your whole life for him to say. "I can give you everything you want, baby."
Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you can't tell if it's from the pleasure he's giving you or the words he's dribbling out.
"Taking me so well, fuck!" he sits up on his knees again, turning you over without pulling out of you; you're on all fours as he plows into you from behind. 
"So mean, making me wait so long, letting me be with the wrong woman, should've been you." You clench around him eyes squeezing shut, you shouldn't enjoy these words as much as you do but you can't help it.
"Wanted it to be you, would've had our family by now, so many kids, so happy." You're literally shaking, the fire growing inside of you, making it impossible to ward off your second orgasm. 
"Been looking for you in all these women, never were you, never could be. Fucking couldn't get hard without imagining your face. Always had to be you." He sounds so vulnerable and open behind you. You want to see his face so badly, and you want to watch him as he admits what you've always desired.
Like he read your mind, he flips you over again, nestling between your legs and pushing himself in again with a hiss, "Gotta see your face when you come, love."
You're on top of him, relishing in the way he looks up at you. Your thighs are placed on either side of him lifting over and over as he glides in and out of you.
He looks so beautiful, you think even if he is spitting out the most wild and lewd words you've ever had spoken to you. "Gonna empty this dick in you baby, give you my baby. Make you mine, all mine." He growls.
"Could've had this all along if you said something sooner, bunny. Would have had you feeling like this all of the time."
His hands are on your waist, lifting you up and down over him. You fall forward one hand holding you up and the other reaching down to cup his jaw. You press your lips over his, breathless pants traveling from one mouth to the other. The eye contact is intense as you stare each other down. His eyes literally sparkle as he fuck up into you, his mouth dropped open. You kiss him one last time before sitting up again and setting your own pace, "Fuck Lew, you feel so good."
You're bouncing on him at a much slower pace as his eyes fall closed and his grip tightens on your flesh.
You're not responsible for what you say when you cum, it's common knowledge, which is why when Lewis flips you over and barrels into you at a much softer pace you let his words carry no penalty, albeit the way they make your eyes water, albeit the way you return them truthfully.
It's so overwhelming you can't help the way the tears flow from your eyes and slide onto the sheets. He's cumming in spurts, hot and gooey, filling you to the brim. Lewis has never come so much. He lets out an array of grunts and moans. He's so out of it that he lets his words tumble out without a care in the world, and he means them wholly. He's fucking his cum into you, pushing it back in with his dick as you quiver around him. 
"Love you, fuck, I fucking love you."
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lemonlover1110 · 3 days
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𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝
Toji Fushiguro
[Chapter 11] A Better Man
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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“Shiu… To what do I owe this pleasure?” You open the door to your apartment to find your ex-husband’s old friend. You have no contact with the man, therefore you have no idea why he stands in front of you. He holds a pink gift bag, making you assume that he’s brought a gift for the baby, but why? Then you remember you have a very persistent ex-husband that’s very good friends with the man that stands before you. “What does Toji want? He can just call me, he has my number– For fuck’s sake, you have my number.”
“I’m just here to drop off a gift for my niece.” Shiu says, holding up the bag. He’s not here just for that, and you know it but you won’t drag out an interrogation, demanding an answer from him. Instead, you take the bag from his hand and begin to close the door in his face. He stops the door before it’s shut right in his face, “Not so fast.”
“So you’re not just dropping off a gift?” You tilt your head to the side, slowly blinking your eyes to play dumb. Shiu sighs, shaking his head. He doesn’t like to admit that he's here on behalf of Toji… Well, Toji did ask him to come but Shiu isn’t exactly trying to push the agenda that Toji urged him to.
“Can I come in or not?” Shiu asks, and you take a moment to think about it– Well, you pretend to take a moment to think about it, wasting a couple of precious seconds of his life. Instead of answering, you move to the side to allow him in. 
Shiu takes off his shoes when he steps into the apartment. He hadn’t been here since he helped you move in, and it’s nice to see how the place has been transformed into an apartment that screams your name. He almost laughs at the fact that everything looks babyproofed, even when it’s too early for it. He knows you don’t have that much time in your hands to do it all, so it’s clear what your priority is.
“What did Toji tell you to do?” You question when Shiu sits on your couch, putting the gift bag on your coffee table. Shiu is biting his tongue, not wanting to answer the question immediately. 
“Can’t I just come around to check up–” He begins, but you cut him off before he can finish his claim. You swear you’ll roll your eyes so far back into your head that you’ll be able to see your brain if he claims that he isn’t here on behalf of Toji.
“Be serious with me.” You respond, as Shiu’s hands go to his knees. He takes a deep breath before nodding his head. 
“He wants me to convince you to move in with him since he claims that’s the best course of action since you’re having a baby and all.” He tells you, making you scoff. Toji just doesn’t know when to drop something, you never realized how persistent he can be while you were married. Maybe because Toji didn’t even try. “I’m honestly here just to say I showed up.”
“Then why did you insist on coming in?” You reply, and Shiu sits in silence. How does he answer honestly and fast without prying. Shiu doesn’t want to build a case for Toji but at the same time, he does have a lot to say in support of him. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable either. “Just say it.”
“Toji’s a tough person to be with but he does love you.” Shiu says, and you click your tongue. You’ve heard the argument a million times, and you’re never convinced. Even if he does love you, you’re never getting back with him.
“Why do you bring this up?” You ask him. “I mean, I thought you weren’t going to try anything but here you are, telling me that Toji does love me.”
“I’m not trying to convince you of anything, he does love you and I’m just bringing it up.” Shiu argues, and you hold back on sighing. You keep your irritation to yourself, wanting to seem neutral about all of this.
“Okay, what’s the point of it?” You respond, wanting this conversation to be over. You shouldn’t have to explain to him that trying to be convinced that you should get back with your ex is a rather bothersome topic. 
“You two are expecting a daughter, if you actually want to get back with him don’t feel guilty.” He tells you, and you chuckle. Did he really just say that? You wonder if you would feel guilty if you got back together with him, but for what reason would you?
“I appreciate it, Shiu, but I have no plans on getting back with him. Do I really need to tell you how horrible it was to be married to him for you to stop helping him?” You try to sound nonchalant about it all, but the annoyance peeks through your voice. Shiu feels the need to disagree with you, even though he’s helping him in a way.
“I’m not helping him.”
“Then what are you doing?” You question, making the man suck his bottom lip between his teeth. He’s quiet. He doesn’t know how to answer because you’re right. He is helping Toji.
“I guess I am.” He answers. He lets out a sigh, standing up from the couch, beginning his walk to the front door since the reason for his visit has come to an end. “It’s just weird to see Toji so miserable… He’s trying really hard to get something he wants and his efforts are in vain.”
“Toji needs to learn that he can’t get everything he wants. I gave him many chances, and he took them for granted. I shouldn’t be expected to give him another chance simply because he realized he can’t have me anymore.” You argue, and Shiu can’t say anything back because you’re right. He doesn’t know the extent of your issues with Toji, therefore he shouldn’t say more.
He opens the front door and waves at you, and before he can say anything else to you, you say, “Please don’t come around if you’re just coming here for Toji, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Hope you like the gift.” Shiu says before walking out. You don’t hesitate before closing the door. You roll your eyes as you walk to the coffee table to get the bag.
You find the cutest hat inside of the bag, which nearly makes you squeal. You should text him and thank him, but you’ll hold off on it. You’re reasonably upset. You have enough to deal with Toji, you don’t need a third party getting involved simply because he’s Toji’s friend.
For a moment you thought that Shiu would remain neutral in all of this, just now do you realize just how foolish you were. Shiu is Toji’s friend, not yours.
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You smile like a schoolgirl when you get a delivery of flowers early in the morning. You’re excited for the lucky person that’s going to be met with flowers this morning. You ask who they’re for, and it takes you by surprise when he says your name. You sign for the flowers and are quick to look for a note.
You don’t really need to ask who they’re from, you know they’re from Toji. You find the note, one that makes you smile even brighter. You hate that it does, but finally getting the attention that you’ve been lacking from him makes you feel accomplished. He makes sure to compliment you in every way possible in such a small note. 
And just as you put the note away, you receive a message from him, asking you to lunch. You have to take a deep breath, putting the phone down for a minute to not seem too excited. You won’t let a beautiful bouquet of flowers change your mind. You try to seem as unenthusiastic as possible when you accept his invitation.
Toji picks you up at the office, but unlike other times, he doesn’t get out of his car to go to you. You can only assume it has something to do with your supervisor, but regardless, it’s none of your business. Toji is a single man, what he does with other women is no longer your matter, as much as it fills you with jealousy.
“There you are.” Toji gets out of the car to open the door for you. He makes sure to compliment you more, “You’re glowing today. You’re stunning.”
“Thank you, Toji.” You respond as he opens the car door. You get in, and he runs to the driver’s side to not keep you waiting. 
He begins the short drive to the restaurant he picked out for lunch, making light chatter. He’s asking you about you and how you’re feeling, and you give him short dry answers. He’s really trying, and you feel bad for doing this to him– But he deserves it.
You get to the restaurant, and the first thing you notice is how nice it is. He’s going all out on you, and it’s hard not to be happy. You dreamt of this for years, and you’re finally getting it when you have no need for it.
“Thank you for the flowers, Toji. They’re beautiful.” You bring up when you’re seated at a table. You don’t want lunch to be as awkward as the car ride.
“I’m glad you like them.” He responds, a shy smile on his lips. Who would’ve thought bouquets would be so expensive, he wouldn’t dare bring up the price though. “Also… Sorry about Shiu.”
“Let’s not talk about him please.” You tell him, and Toji nods in response. Of course you wouldn’t like to talk about that.
You’re looking at the menu, deciding what’s most appetizing at the moment. Something that won’t make you sick to your stomach. While you focus on that, Toji tries his best to think of something that’ll catch your attention. There’s only one thing that you can talk about for hours, and that’s the baby.
He clears his throat, “Anzu is a cute name.”
“Huh?” You look up at him, a sparkle in your eyes when you hear him. “I love the name! But I’m not sure, I have to keep looking at my options.”
“Of course, we have time. But I heard the name not too long ago and I love it.” Toji agrees. You begin to talk about baby names, and he finds himself getting excited. It’s hard not to get excited when you’re clearly over the moon because of this. “I hope we can come to a decision before she’s born.”
“Do you think she’ll be born before or after Megumi’s birthday?” You ask as your hand goes to your bump. Toji takes a moment to think about it.
“On his birthday.” Toji answers, and you hope that isn’t the case. You wish Toji can celebrate his son’s birthday without an issue. “How are you holding up though? Is everything okay?”
“Why do you mainly ask about me and not the baby? Aren’t you excited?” Your question comes from pure curiosity. You swore Toji was getting excited about her, but his questions are only to you, very rarely about the baby. Toji clears his throat before answering,
“I’m excited. I am. But you’re my main priority.” You raise your brows, a bit taken back by his response. “You were my wife first, and you always will be. My priorities will shift when she comes along, but she isn’t here yet.”
He’s choosing the right words, making you foolishly smile. He’s doing things right today, and if he keeps doing them like this, you might reconsider the decision that you’ve made.
But you remind yourself that you could’ve had this husband for years, but he chose not to be. Regardless you smile,
“You’re right. Thank you, Toji.”
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Someone older
Summary: As Fernando Alonso's daughter, you finally have the opportunity to watch him race live again after several years. During the event, you encounter a handsome Spanish Ferrari driver.
A/N: no use of Y/N, some spanish
Carlos Sainz x Alonso reader
masterlist
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It's not like you meant for it to happen, after all. Admitting it made you feel even a little bit weird. Because how do you explain your attraction to older men? Not that they have to be ancient; a few years older is good enough for you, they just need to have the vibe.
Sadly enough, or actually lucky enough for you, your Papi works with a lot of men that fit that vibe. Not that you would tell your Papi that, because how do you tell your dad, Fernando Alonso, that his Formula 1 job brings you around all these hot men that are your type, and most of them are at least four years older? Not that you're a baby; you're 22. Not that you can tell your Papi that; he would explode.
Either way, you can't blame a girl for looking, especially not at the most handsome Spaniard you've ever seen, Carlos Sainz. But you should probably stop being that oblivious with your looking before you walk by his garage; otherwise, he will realize, but most of all, your Papi will realize.
As I gather up the courage to walk by his garage, I get startled by a voice.
'Princesita, are you coming or not?' There he stands, your most favorite person in the world, your Papi. 'Of course I am coming, Papi!' But you're walking way too fast; the race only starts tomorrow. As you say that, you follow him quickly behind, as you don't know your way around the paddock. The last race you went to with your Papi was at least seven years ago when you were a 16-year-old girl, and your staring problem was way more obvious. Sorry, Mr. Vettel.
Alright, maybe you needed to practice a little bit more because there he stands, the man with the most beautiful brown puppy eyes, accompanied by the most beautiful cocky smirk. But that is not the problem; the problem is that he is talking to your Papi, and you're walking their way.
Princesita, come here. I want you to meet Carlos," your Papi says. As he speaks, you see his head turn to look at you. And yes, you most definitely still have your staring problem. Luckily for you, he seems to have the same problem as he looks you up and down and smirks. He gazes into your eyes with his beautiful brown eyes, and suddenly, you realize he's saying something. "Sorry, what did you say?" you try to laugh it off.
He laughs and says, 'Nice to meet you, hermosa,' as he shakes your hand a little too long for it not to be a little flirty. You're both interrupted by laughter and a deadly glare from your Papi. 'We have to go, Princesita,' he says in a stern voice. I try to keep my giggle inside, but it doesn't work as you follow your Papi to his garage. As I turn around, I notice a certain Ferrari driver still watching you.
Luckily for you, your Papi forgets about it soon enough. I mean, how could he not? Your Papi had a place on the podium today. And even more luckily for you, a certain beautiful Ferrari driver with beautiful brown eyes was also on the podium. That way, no one would notice your staring problem. Well, they probably wouldn't if he didn't keep looking back at me.
As your Papi runs off the podium, he runs to his team and to you to give you a big hug. And that is the moment that you know there will be a great celebration, which you could finally join. Maybe with enough luck, a certain Spanish Ferrari driver could also join; after all, he also has something to celebrate.
As I get ready for the club, I had the trouble of deciding what I should wear. After all, what do you wear to celebrate your Papi's win while still being sexy enough to seduce a certain Spanish Ferrari driver? After I think it is cute enough and my Papi is finally ready to go, we are on our way to the club. As we pull up, I realize that it's already packed, which is great news because that would mean that there are already some drivers inside.
As we walk around, I realize that maybe it isn't that great of news that it's so fully packed, as I already lost my Papi in two minutes with no one else I recognize. I push myself through the crowd, trying to get to the VIP section.
'Everything going alright, hermosa?' As I turn around to the person who whispered that in my ear, I see the most beautiful driver on the track and say, 'Yes, just trying to find Papi.'
He laughs. 'I don't think this is the place where you want to find your Papi.' Suddenly, I get pushed into him and look up into his beautiful eyes. He bends down, looking at my lips, and whispers, 'You want to dance, hermosa?
Before my mouth could even form a response, my head was already nodding yes. He laughs at me and smiles as we keep getting closer. As we dance, I notice him looking at my lips, and I kiss him. At first, he acts surprised until I feel him grin in our kiss and spin me around.
Before I even realized what was happening, we were in his hotel room, and I ended up in his bed. As I wake up to the most beautiful man grinning at me, he says, 'Good morning, hermosa.' I giggle and reply, 'Good morning.' He laughs and gives me a kiss until my phone rings very loudly. I grab it and realize I am in big trouble because I promised my Papi he could drive me home.
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whatever you want | joel miller x f!reader
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summary: date night for you and Joel but we skip to the good part xoxo word count: 3,2k warnings: 18+ only, POV changes (i tried my best pls be nice), no plot in sight, reader has no physical descriptions other than clothing, established relationship, pet names, smut, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, butt stuff, spitting, creampie, praise kink, panty kink, size kink, Joel’s filthy mouth a/n: this is the first thing i've written that's actually made it out the doc before being trashed forever - big thanks to my irl bestie for her continuous words of encouragement <3 this is very mildly edited because i'll hate it if i keep trying to improve it ✌️ i'd appreciate any feedback! again pls be nice thank you love you okay bye divider by @saradika-graphics
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You've been looking forward to this all week — date night with Joel. You usually stick to something simple, going out for a cosy dinner or just deciding to cook together at home — but he always ensures it’s a memorable night in one way or another, and tonight is no exception.
He suggested to you earlier in the week, lying in bed, “How ‘bout this time you pick out something for me to wear? Hm?” It had your mind racing with ideas, thinking about all the possibilities now presented to you. 
You glance at him, “So what’s in it for you, then?”
“No ulterior motive here, sweetheart,” he puts his palms up near his face and smirks, “You always look pretty for me, I just thought I’d return the favour.”
“Hm, that’s a big decision,” you mutter with a playful smile.
You’re well aware of what Joel loves seeing you wear — he’s always loved anything you wear, to be frank, racy or not — and decided to pose a deal to him, something you knew you’d both benefit from.
“I may have some ideas. Why don’t we make a deal, then?” you inch closer to him and play with a stray lock of his hair. “You do something for me, and I’ll do something for you.” Your eyes meet and you can tell he’s trying to figure out the game you’re playing.
“And what would that entail?” he asks, a hint of cockiness in his voice, impressed by your unusual boldness. You remove your hand from his hair and drape your arm over him.
“Will you wear that red shirt again… with the sleeves rolled up?” you ask shyly, trailing your fingers up and down his side.
“Sure will,” he says, still smirking. You’re only getting more breathless the longer this goes on, and you haven't even made your whole point yet.
“And… those black pants of yours…?”
��Which ones, sweetheart? I got a lot of black pants,” he remarks, feigning innocence and a cheeky lilt to his voice. “You know which ones,” you mutter, your hand stilling.
He shifts closer until you’re pressed against each other and whispers, “Don’t think I do, you’re gonna have to tell me.”
You huff, annoyed at him for teasing you like this, and at yourself for getting turned on by his games. “The tight-fitting, black—”
“That’s not what you really want to say, though, is it? Tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours,” he interrupts, and you shiver.
You look down at his chest, unable to make eye contact with him and pray he doesn’t notice how your cheeks redden as you whisper back, “Those black pants that everyone can see how big you are, those pants, I want you to wear them.”
He skims a hand up your back, “See? Was that so difficult?” he asks rhetorically, and you can practically hear his teasing smile and visualise the dark glint that you know will be in his eyes. “And what shoes should I wear, you know, to tie the whole look together?”
“You know very well I couldn’t care less what fucking shoes you wear,” you chirp back at him, forcing yourself to look him in the eye again.
Satisfied with your answer, he plants his hand on the small of your back, caressing you gently with his thumb, “You mentioned some kind of deal?”
If he hadn’t brought it up again you’re not sure you would’ve remembered at all. You’ll always be amazed by how calm he is after derailing a conversation and making you so flustered.
You close your eyes, mentally shake yourself, and start your bargaining, “Well, I promise to wear the laciest panties I own—” you look at him sweetly through your lashes, “—if you promise to keep your clothes on. And you can, you know, do whatever you want.” It comes out far breathier than you were planning, but it’s out. “With me, to me, you know. Whatever.” 
He raises his eyebrows slightly, voice lowered, “Whatever I want, hm? And all I have to do is stay dressed? Quite the deal there.”
-
Joel’s made himself comfortable in his chair, eyes trained on you in the doorway. Sitting here now, the night’s only just beginning and you’re already like putty in his hands. He noticed hours ago your eyes had glazed over, and he’s been growing harder and harder ever since in anticipation.
“What’re you thinking about, sweetheart?” he asks, and your gaze refocuses on him.
“You,” you reply, sweet and simple.
He does a once-over, taking in your flowery, strappy top and neat little black slip-skirt that falls just above your knees and hugs your hips beautifully — your hands fiddling with the hem of your shirt and you’re shifting your weight side to side.
He smiles softly and suggests, “Why don’t you show me those pretty panties you promised to wear?” and you nod gently, moving slowly further into the room.
Much more confident and comfortable in your own skin than when you took your clothes off for him the first time, you face Joel and lift your gaze to meet his. You reach behind your back to unzip your top and lift it over your head, dropping it to the floor. Pushing your thumbs beneath your waistband, you peel your skirt over your hips and hunch forward slightly, letting it pool around your feet. Standing at your full height again, he takes all of you in — clad in lace, black bra and lilac panties.
He widens his legs and curls a finger, beckoning you forward and you stand between his knees. Joel rests his hands on your hips, thumbing the lace over your hipbones.
“Where’ve you been hiding these?” he looks up at you and sees heat blooming across your chest and up your neck.
“I, um… I’ve been saving them, for uh—“ you stutter, and he can see you start second-guessing your choice. Breathing shallowly, you murmur, “Do you not like them?”
He smiles at you, still playing with the lace, “I love them, sweetheart. You know I always do.” He lowers his gaze down to your panties again, eyes trailing across the fabric, and he doesn’t miss how you press your legs together, seeking any sort of relief.
He pushes against your hip to turn you around, and almost can’t believe how you’ve both ended up here. You, dressed in your best lace just for him, ready and willing to do as he says? You’d clearly been wanting to do this for some time now, but Joel would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited, too. He kneads the swell of your ass, fingers toying with the lacy edges and hears you breathing deeply again.
“So, whatever I want?”
You turn to look at him over your shoulder and reply under your breath, “Yes.”
He turns you around to face him, hands still on your hips. He looks up at you again, “You okay?” and squeezes his hands.
“Yeah,” and you nod, smiling down at him.
“Well, you did such a good job picking these panties all on your own, sweetheart, I think maybe you need a reward,” he darts his tongue out and drags his hands along your thighs, resting his arms down and leaning back in his chair. “First, though, you’re gonna show me just how good you can be, okay? C’mon, on your knees.”
You lower yourself, getting comfortable between his legs, your eyes lingering on his bulge before looking up at him. He nods towards his lap and you start undoing his pants, palming him through the fabric. Reaching into his boxer briefs and wrapping your hand around his length, you stroke him a few times and pull his waistband down just enough to take him out, thick and heavy and already fully stiff in your hand. You bow your head to lick him from base to tip, hover above him and spit onto his cock, stroking him harder and smiling sweetly at him.
You start taking him into your mouth and he sighs, resting a hand on the crown of your head. “You been waiting all night for this, huh, sweetheart?”
You hum a response and he groans, watching you bob up and down, taking more and more of him each time. You pull off and continue stroking him, and he smiles at you in encouragement. You take him in your mouth again, and he feels you hollow your cheeks and take him even further, the tip of his cock just about breaching your throat and you whimper around him.
“Fuck, baby, doin’ so good,” he grunts and pulls you off. His hand moves to the nape of your neck, the other tracing over your collarbone and down over the lace of your bra, your nipples hardening through the delicate fabric. “Think you can do it?”
You nod eagerly at him, eyes glinting, hands stroking him languidly and you move to start sucking him again. He tightens his grip and stops you. “Use your words, please.”
“Yes, I can do it.” You look up at him and his hold softens.
“Good girl, go on.”
You lick the underside of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the head of his cock and take him again, working him just to the start of your throat. You’re breathing as best you can through your nose, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, lips stretched around him and brushing his wiry curls as you push even further and hold him there, fingers digging into his thighs. You start to gag and do your best not to pull off him, squirming to find any bit of friction and Joel moans at the sight, throwing his head back.
“Bein’ such a good girl, taking my cock so far down your throat, hm?” 
You moan and swallow around him, his hips jerking at the sensation and he pulls you off. “Almost too good,” he breathes, “know you’d love me coming down your throat, but not tonight.” He gives you a lopsided smile and you whine, moving back and forth on your knees.
“Stand up for me sweetheart,” and you rise, looking down at him, still catching your breath. His hands are back on you immediately, squeezing your waist, hips, ass — any part of you he can reach. He runs his fingers across your panties again, trailing them down over your covered clit and between your folds and you tilt forward into his touch.
“Soaked right through these pretty panties of yours,” he looks up to meet your gaze and there’s almost no colour to your eyes anymore, just pure blown-out pupils. He keeps rubbing his fingers along you and you whine again, clearly desperate for him to touch you properly.
He smirks up at you, “So needy just from sucking my cock.”
Joel shoves his hand under the elastic of your panties and rubs his fingers between your folds and over your entrance, coating his fingers in your arousal. He shoves two thick fingers into you without warning and you fall forward with a strangled moan, hands supporting your weight on his shoulders as he pumps his fingers in and out, your cunt tight around him.
“Always so wet for me, huh? Need me to make you feel good?” He stares at you, eyes shut and mouth hanging open as he slows his hand and you force out a yes, your voice hoarse. He speeds up again and curls his fingers into that one spot he knows you can’t reach with your own hand, brushing over it again and again, the palm of his hand grinding against your clit.
Your legs start trembling and he pulls his fingers out and slips them into his mouth, sucking them clean. “Taste so sweet.”
He moves his legs between yours and pulls you towards him and down onto his lap, guiding your hips back and forth over his length, precome leaking from his tip. He leans forward, “You gonna keep these on while you sit on my cock, yeah?” and tugs on the waistband of your panties, letting the elastic snap back against your skin. You nod frantically in response and lean into him, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him haphazardly. He licks into your mouth and moans into you, hands firmly gripping your ass.
You rise slightly and he takes hold of his cock, stroking himself and pulls your panties to one side. He lines himself up with your entrance and you start to sink down, eyes screwing shut at the stretch. He holds you by the waist, your hands like a vice grip on his shoulders and it takes everything in him not to pull you down and make you take him to the hilt. You take your time working him in, inch by inch, and Joel can tell how close you are already, your broken moans getting louder and louder.
You’re fully seated and he takes a hand off his shoulder, plants a kiss on your knuckles and guides it between your bodies, spreading your fingers around where he’s splitting you open. “You feel how stretched you are, baby?” You gasp and he leans towards you and lifts his hand to grip across your chin, mouth ghosting yours and squeezes his hand to purse your lips. 
“Open,” he orders and your lips part, spitting into your mouth and he feels you tightening around him. Pushing his index finger into your mouth, you suck and swirl your tongue around it, moaning as you lift up and down, grinding yourself onto the trail of hair at the base of his cock. Joel feels your legs starting to give out underneath you and he watches you with hooded eyes. He pulls his finger from your mouth and wraps his arms around you, hands reaching down underneath your panties to grab your ass and spread you wider. He prods his finger at your tight hole and your eyes shoot open to look at him, desperate and needy.
“You gonna come for me?” You whine and nod, almost begging him with a please, over and over again. He pushes his finger in to just past his middle knuckle and you moan out wantonly, already completely wrecked. Joel feels your cunt clamp down on his cock and you come with a sob of his name, eyes shut and face contorted in pleasure as he whispers praises in your ear.
-
At some point in your post-orgasm haze, Joel moved the two of you onto the bed — you waiting on all fours and Joel's voice breaking through from somewhere behind you.
“Did good sweetheart, always do, but I’m not done with you.” His hands are all over you, skating across and grabbing any skin he can reach. You crane your neck to look over your shoulder in search of him and notice he’s still fully dressed — well, as fully dressed as he can be — and remember that’s what got you into this position in the first place. Dishevelled greying curls, only the last couple buttons holding his shirt together, wide chest on full display, sleeves rolled up, pants and boxer briefs sitting mid-thigh, his cock, thick and hard and leaking and you clench around nothing just at the sight.
Joel’s hands are all over you, skating across and grabbing any skin he can reach. He hooks his fingers into your waistband and pulls your panties down to the tops of your thighs, placing open-mouthed kisses on the skin as it’s revealed. He spreads you with his hands and spits onto your pussy and you let out a choked moan. He drags the tip of his cock through your folds and the messy mix of arousal and spit and your last orgasm. You feel him notch at your entrance again, and he sheaths himself fully inside your cunt in one thrust, all but punching the air from your lungs and he groans. You feel the swell of his tummy pressed against you and his fingers digging into your ass as he spreads you open. “Look so beautiful like this, wish you could see it.”
He leans over you, breathing into your neck, “Always take my cock so well, baby.” He pulls out almost completely, snapping his hips back into you and you can already feel heat pooling at the base of your spine again as he pounds into you, fingers gripping your hips so hard he’s bound to leave bruises. He snakes a hand underneath you to rub your clit and you feel your legs start to tremble.
All you can think is Joel Joel Joel, and his voice cuts through the ringing in your ears, husky and breathless. “You gonna give me one more, yeah? Come for me, sweetheart. Be a good girl and come on my cock,” and you all but see stars behind your eyes, overwhelmed with the sweet praise. He stills as you come, his hands and affirming words keeping you grounded as you clench and gush around him.
He wraps his arms around you and pulls you up flush against him, your head falling back onto his shoulder and you’re not sure you can form words anymore, your chest heaving as you try to get your breathing back to normal. You turn your head towards him and he kisses you surprisingly gently.
“Can you be good just a bit longer?” He starts grinding his hips into you and you whine, your hands coming up to hold his arms. “Always such a good girl for me, hm?” He drags his mouth along the side of your neck and you nod tiredly, feeling him smile.
He starts with slow thrusts, his grip around you the sole reason you’re still upright, his voice in your ear and hot breath on your neck and the heavy, familiar, drag of his cock in and out making you dizzy.
“So fuckin’ tight around me sweetheart. Your favourite feeling, isn’t it? Being stuffed full of my cock?” He starts rambling on and you know he’s close. “You want me to come inside you? Want me to come inside your tight little pussy?”
“Yes, please. Please come inside me.”
He mumbles incoherently and you tighten your hands on his arms; his thrusts get harder and his arms stiffen in their hold around you and you feel him twitching as he starts to spill inside you, warmth coating your walls. He lowers you both to lie down as he comes down from his high, cock still buried deep inside you and you feel his spend start to leak out around him and down your thighs.
-
Shifting around and your eyes fluttering open, you’re wrapped up in Joel’s arms, head burrowed against his chest. You reach down and feel he’s cleaned you up and pulled fresh panties on you, a faint throbbing between your thighs. He stirs next to you and presses a kiss to your forehead, long and tender.
“Sorry, fell asleep,” you mumble and wrap an arm around his torso to press yourself into him even more.
He pulls back slightly, lifting your chin with a finger to look at him. “Sweetheart, think we’ve done this enough that I know you get sleepy afterwards. Stop apologising.” He cradles your cheek, kisses you sweetly and whispers, “Now go back to sleep.”
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sarabethsilver · 3 days
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The real moral of Face-Off (the hockey game episode) is that Lorelai Gilmore has zero boundaries and used this benign situation as an opportunity to manipulate her daughter's love life. My unsolicited dissertation follows:
What the episode SHOULD be about: two teenagers have different expectations for their relationship, leading to a minor misunderstanding that could be easily solved with one conversation.
What we got instead: Lorelai playing all sides of this totally normal teen conflict until it blew up into a catastrophe that would come to define Jess and Rory's entire relationship.
The episode starts with Rory waiting around for Jess to call, because apparently "call you later" meant he was supposed to call by 9:00pm that night. Lorelai initially teases Rory about it - a quip about the Bay of Pigs, implying that BOTH Jess and Rory are bad at planning ahead. Fair! The next morning, Lorelai asks why Rory didn't just call Jess herself - great question! Rory makes a weird excuse, then shifts to comparing Jess to Dean. After telling Rory not to compare them, Lorelai goes on to compare them by calling Dean the perfect first boyfriend who spoiled Rory by calling so much. It's a fascinating distortion of the events, which was that Dean called so much that Rory felt completely suffocated. She actually hated that, remember?!
Then Lorelai starts setting imaginary rules. Jess is supposed to (1) immediately sense that Rory is upset, (2) automatically know WHY Rory is upset, and (3) apologize the SECOND she walks into the diner. Jess doesn't do that, because he's not clairvoyant and he's literally in the middle of working a shift, so Rory is apparently justified in storming out of there without a word. Lorelai then sneaks in a side convo with Jess (another thing Rory hates, by the way!). Mocking Jess for not calling and getting annoyed when he doesn't stick around to hear her lengthy diatribe about how much he sucks.
Rory sits around waiting for Jess to call, which is even stranger because they had no plans that day. And she also knows how to use a phone, so theoretically she could call herself. But Lorelai sets MORE imaginary rules. Rory is home at 6:00pm on a Saturday - something that seems totally normal for a homebody like her - but Lorelai catastrophizes it. It's SHOCKING that Rory is home, she should go out immediately! How dare Jess leave her unescorted on a Saturday evening! This, of course, gives Lorelai the opportunity to give Jess her second sarcastic lecture of the day. Because calling at 5:30pm that day would have been fine, but showing up at the house two hours later is an unforgivable crime (who is making these rules?!).
Jess then waits for Rory at the hockey game, completely unbothered by the fact she went out without him (because he actually allows her independence) and not remotely blaming her for the angry silent treatment she gave him earlier. Instead, he's trying to make amends with concert tickets - which seems like a pretty nice gesture! It's interesting that the episode distorts that into something bad. Rory keeps it a secret like they've done something wrong, and the episode ends with her all sad. While Jess is presumably thinking he's fixed the problem. Because that's a reasonable conclusion.
So in the span of 24 hours, Lorelai took this tiny misunderstanding and blamed Rory, used Dean as the standard for 'perfect' behavior, set a bunch of imaginary rules for Jess to 'break,' then switched to blaming Jess for the entire thing. It's a masterclass in manipulation. Emily Gilmore couldn't have done it any better!
I look forward to @saltygilmores take on this later! Maybe we can scream into the void together.
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lucy90712 · 3 days
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By your side- Jude Bellingham
I thought I had my life together I was engaged, planning a wedding and had just found out I was pregnant everything seemed so perfect. I don't know how it all went wrong so quickly I just came home from work to be greeted with a note from my fiancé saying he was leaving me because he had been cheating and felt he was more in love with the other woman. He was so kind to let me have the house that I bought and only took his things from it although he did leave the place in a mess doing so. To start with I didn't feel anything as I was so in shock but once it sunk in I haven't stopped crying. Luckily finances aren't a worry for me as I make a good amount of money so I can continue to pay all the bills and can afford everything for the baby but having no support has been hard especially because no one knows I'm pregnant as I'm still quite early on. 
All of this happened Friday so I haven't been back into work yet and I know I should probably take some time off to figure things out and give myself time to work through my feelings but I need the distraction I can't wallow in self pity anymore. Luckily today I just have a lot of paperwork to do so I'll be in my office just getting on with things not talking to the players who would definitely ask questions as to why I'm not wearing my ring. Something I didn't account for out of pure stupidity is all my co workers as soon as I arrived they asked about my weekend just to be nice but just being reminded of everything that happened hurt. One then asked where my ring was as I never take it off and I had to just lie and say I took it off for something and forgot to put it back on all while trying to hold back tears. 
When I was finally in the confines off my office I couldn't hold back the tears anymore my whole world has been turned upside down and here I am trying to act like everything is normal which is so much harder than I thought. Even my office still portrays my perfect life my pc background is of me and my ex fiancé and I have so many pictures of us throughout my office. In my desk draw I even have an ultrasound picture from my first ultrasound which made me think about the fact that my baby has to grow up without a dad which I was so against for my own kids as I know the struggle. 
As I was sobbing I thought I heard a knock at my office door but no one said anything so I just kept crying until I felt a hand on my shoulder which scared the living daylights out of me. Part of me wanted to punch whoever or whatever was behind me but instead I just jumped back and turned around at the speed of light. My soul came back into my body when I realised that it was just Jude although I still kind of wanted to punch him for scaring me so badly. That's when it hit me that Jude had just seen me crying my eyes out and I have to explain why I was so upset which only made me cry again thinking about it. Jude knelt down in front of me and tried to wipe my tears as they fell but he couldn't keep up so instead he tried comforting me to stop the tears altogether. 
It took a while but eventually I had no more tears left to cry and I was forced to try and regulate my breathing again. As I tried calming myself down my morning sickness kicked in at full force and my options were throw up all over Jude or try and make to to the bathroom so I picked the second option and ran towards the bathroom. I made it just in time and apparently so did Jude as I felt him gather my hair and hold it back while rubbing my back. He must think I'm insane as I've just cried in front of him for 20 minutes now I'm throwing up but his opinion of me is the least of my worries right now. 
"Are you ok?" Jude asked once I had stopped throwing up 
"Yeah I'm fine" I lied 
"Whats wrong and before you tell me there's nothing wrong I know there is no one cries that much for no reason" Jude said 
"I'm just going through a hard time" I said 
"Look you don't have to tell me but it might help to get things off your chest plus I promise I won't tell anyone" he said 
"Ok but be prepared it's a lot" I said 
"Friday night when I got home my fiancé left me a note saying he was leaving me for another woman that he'd been cheating on my with for nearly a year and to top it all off I'm 10 weeks pregnant with our baby" I explained 
"Oh wow that is a lot" he commented 
"I knew I shouldn't have said anything I'm sorry" I said suddenly feeling insecure 
"No no I don't mean it like that I just wasn't expecting you to be holding onto so much I don't know how you are even here right now I'd be wallowing in bed" Jude said which made me smile 
"Look I know we aren't extremely close but you confided in me and as long as you'll let me I want to be there to support you with anything you need and I mean anything if you need a shoulder to cry on I'll be there and if you want someone to beat up your ex I'm on it" he said completely seriously 
"Thank you your support would mean a lot just don't tell anyone at least not right now" I said 
"You got it I won't utter a word to anyone else until you are ready" he said miming zipping his mouth
~~~~~~~~~~
3 months later 
The last few months have been difficult but Jude has made my life so much easier. Every day after training he comes to my office usually with a snack of some form and just sits and talks with me as I work. He also gave me his number so anytime I need to talk I can call him or text him and he'll be right over no matter the time. He's been more caring and supportive in the last few months than my ex ever was throughout our whole relationship. I've come to realise that maybe this situation isn't all bad as if none of this had happened I'd still be with my ex settling for what I know now was a shitty relationship at best. He never cared for me he was just there and did what was necessary to stop me leaving but Jude has taught me that I deserve better as even though we are just friends I've enjoyed his company way more than my ex's.
Not only has Jude been there for me emotionally he has been physically present when I need him. He has come to some baby appointments with me he is too busy to make them all but he tries to be there as often as he can. The first time he came he didn't come in with me he just waited outside for me but the second time I let him come in and since then if he can make it he always comes in with me. It has been nice having someone else with me to keep me calm as they check that the baby is developing as they should be and having someone else there when I found out the gender was nice too. I think Jude was more excited than I was to find out I was having a girl I went sure if I wanted to find out but Jude convinced me as he wanted to plan an on theme baby shower for me so that I had some good memories of this pregnancy.
Today is the day of the baby shower and I haven't had to lift a finger Jude and some of the other boys have planned it all and are setting up. The party isn't even being hosted at my place Jude said he'd set everything up at his and he promised to pick me up so I'm literally doing nothing other than turning up. My morning was so relaxing I was able to spend as much time as I wanted getting ready doing my hair and makeup all nice and putting on my dress which I got when out with some friends as they insisted that I looked too good not to buy it. For the first time in a while I actually felt really good, pregnancy has been really hard on my self confidence but I must admit that I look good all done up. 
Jude arrived right on time to pick me up and he even brought me a cupcake in case I was hungry which at this point in my pregnancy I pretty much always am. When we arrived Jude made me close my eyes and led me all the way through his house back outside to the garden where I opened my eyes to see everyone already there and everything decorated perfectly. I nearly cried seeing everyone there for me I've felt so alone and like no one cares about me at times but knowing that they all took time out of their days to come here means so much to me. I made my way round and talked to everyone thanking them all for coming before Jude dragged me away and got me to sit next to a table which was stacked with gifts. Everyone had gotten me such lovely things and some essentials some of which I hadn't even thought about myself yet. Once I had opened everything from everyone Jude invited it was time to open the things he had gotten for me. He went completely overboard getting all sorts of really expensive items such as cribs, car seat, stroller he thought of it all. 
"Thank you so much Jude you don't need to get me all this in fact you shouldn't have it's all so expensive" I said 
"I wanted to you've had a hard time and you deserve nice things for the baby which I knew you wouldn't get for yourself" he said 
"Well thank you I don't know what else I can say or do to show you how much I appreciate all this" I said 
"You don't need to do or say anything I can tell by the tears in your eyes that you appreciate it and knowing you are happy is all I need" he said 
~~~~~~~~~~
4 months later 
So many people have told me to stop working and start my maternity leave but I just hit 38 weeks so I have a bit more time left and I don't want to waste my time off if the baby could not arrive for up to 3 weeks. I need as much maternity leave available for after the baby is here as possible as I'm the only one who will be looking after her and I can't bring myself to put her in daycare until she's closer to one which is when I'd come back to work. Working while this pregnant is difficult as I can't move as quickly as I used to and I have to pee what feels like every few minutes but I push through and get everything done with a bit of help from coworkers and Jude when he's around. 
This morning I woke up with pain in my lower back which isn't completely unusual but for some reason it felt different to the back pain I normally have. Despite the pain I got myself ready for work and drove to the training centre as that's where my office is. I made it to my office and started turned on my pc and started gathering the things I need for the day when I felt liquid tricking down my leg then it happened a big gush of what looked like water hit the floor. It felt like time stopped for a few minutes as I just stood there looking at the floor panicking slightly because as much as I tried to prepare for this moment now it's actually happening it's quite scary. Past me was prepared for this situation though as she brought spare clothes to the office a few weeks ago and I put my hospital bag in the car just incase. 
After a few minutes of panicking my rational brain kicked in and I got myself changed and found my phone so I could start timing my contractions. I waddled my way from my office down to the physios area of the training centre as I knew Jude would be there as he picked up an injury a few weeks ago so he's still getting treatment. My idea was to just deal with the contractions on my own for a while until I felt like I needed to go to the hospital but they were slightly more painful than I expected and I just didn't want to be alone. Jude had told me if I needed him he'd make himself available so I’m definitely going to take him up on that at least for a little while. 
He was exactly where I expected him to be but he definitely wasn't expecting to see me because as soon as he spotted me he told the physio to stop what he was doing and leapt off the bed towards me. There was a moment where he was clearly processing what must be going on as I never come and find him during the day and definitely not wearing comfy clothes like I am right now. It took him a second but it eventually he worked out why I was there and he looked just as panicked as I felt. 
"Oh my god are you ok do we need to go to the hospital?" He asked 
"First off I'm as good as I can be and two we can't go yet my waters have just broken I just didn't want to be alone" I said 
"Ok let me talk to Carlo and then we can go back to your office until it's time" he said 
"Wait do you need anything?" He asked before running off 
"Just some water please I didn't get chance to fill up my bottle" I said 
"Got it go back to your office and I'll be there before you know it" he said 
He wasn't wrong he got there just after I did although he did have the advantage of being able to run and not having to stop for contractions. As soon as he arrived he took over the timing of my contractions and let me squeeze his hand when I needed to although I didn't want to hurt him so I didn't squeeze too hard. Things started progressing a lot quicker than I expected and my contractions really started to hurt as they got closer and closer together which made it harder to stop myself from making too much noise like I had been. 
"Thats 5 minutes apart now" Jude said 
"It fucking feels like it" I groaned
"Do you have everything in your car?" Jude asked 
"Yeah my hospital bag and car seat are all in there" I replied 
"How about I drive your car to the hospital then so you can have everything you need" he suggested 
"That sounds like a good idea but when we get there please don't leave I don't think I can do this on my own" I said 
"I won't leave you don't worry as long as you want me there I'll be there but if you want me gone at any point just tell me it's all up to you but first let's get to the hospital" he said 
From the second we arrived at the hospital things went by so quickly I'm not sure that I remember everything that happened. What I do know is that I was already 6cm dilated when we arrived and things only progressed from there. I did a lot of walking around trying to let gravity do some of the work but when a contraction hit I couldn't keep going I had to grab onto whatever was nearest which sometimes was the bed and other times was Jude as he followed me around. 
When it got to the point that I was nearly ready to start pushing I considered whether I wanted Jude to stay because I really value the bond we've built over the last few months and I don't know if I want to ruin that by making him watch me give birth. My feelings for him go past that of just friends but of course he doesn't feel the same way as why would he want someone who's just about to birth another man's baby. Maybe having him stay would mean he doesn't want to see me again which would help me get over my feelings but then again I don't know if a harsh break in our friendship is what I need right now. In the end my fear of doing this alone won so I asked Jude if he was comfortable staying and to my surprise he said yes and promised he wouldn't look while laughing which definitely lifted the tense atmosphere in the room. 
All the doctors and nurses filed into the room and put my bed in the right position and put my legs in the foot holds on the bottom of the bed. Jude was stood right by my side as the nurses instructed me on how to breathe and when to push. It was definitely painful but the nurses and Jude kept encouraging me which kept me going even when I wanted to give up. All it took was a few minutes until I heard the most amazing sound of my daughter crying for the first time. There was no energy left in me to use to stop the tears so I just let myself cry and the tears only intensified when my baby girl was placed on my chest for the first time. She was just so perfect I don't think I've ever felt more love for anyone or anything in my life. Jude tried wiping the tears from my face but they were only replaced by more in just a few seconds. 
The nurses had to take my baby girl to do all of the necessary tests to make sure she is healthy which pained me as I just wanted to hold her but I know it's important. It was only then that I realised that I was still holding Jude's hand so I went to let go but he just held my hand tighter. I looked into his eyes and he too had tears in his eyes which made me even more emotional. His free hand pushed my hair back as it had become a mess over the many hours of labour I had been through. As he moved my hair out the way he leant down and completely unexpectedly his lips met mine in what was the best kiss I've ever had in my life. It was unexpected but I kissed him back pretty much straight away but he pulled away after a few more seconds. 
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that I crossed a line I'm sorry" he said 
"Don't be sorry I enjoyed it I've had feelings for you for a while I just didn't think you'd want me" I said 
"How could I not want the most beautiful girl in the world" he smiled 
"I hope you know I come with my mini me now" I laughed 
"I wouldn't have it any other way" he said 
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itsgrimeytime · 21 hours
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feelin' flirty || Rick Grimes (TWD) x gn!reader
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz
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Summary: Being a long-lost friend of Maggie's, you wind up at the prison, a line of dead walkers behind you. You are promptly confronted with one Rick Grimes, and it's suddenly your life's goal to flirt with him as much as you can. Rick doesn't usually respond, but what if one day he does?
TWs: innuendos, talk of sex, shameless (and I mean shameless) flirting, mention of both Beth and Hershel's deaths, gunshot wound, blood, guns, knives, and all things TWD.
[[A/N: Tumblr has deleted this THREE times. I am furious, hello??? Also, someone should've been hardcore flirting with Rick, I'll say it. That's what this is based on. Do I have social anxiety? Yes, but am I still writing this? I am. Don't ask questions. ALSO, I do not know the TWD timeline at all, so I am making it up, thank you. Enjoy :))) ]]
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With one last stab, you finished off the last... zombie? You didn't really call them anything, since you were alone. Maybe you should think about that a little more.
Wordlessly, you turned and stabbed another square in the head. Undead? No. Zombie? No, too cliché-
Another one.
It went on like that for a few more minutes, before you took a breath -with no answer to your question. Frowning at your knife being covered in... guts, for lack of a better word, you crouched down and wiped it on the grass.
What was that, 15? You didn't really count, but you should have. You were trying to get a new personal best actually-
"Hey!"
You froze, pocketing your knife, before spinning on your heel. The voice was fairly distant, so you weren't worried. Instead, close enough for it to matter, was a big building with high walls and barbed wire at the top of them. A prison. Huh.
"Up here!" The voice called again, and you startled.
Shading your eyes from the sun, you looked up into the watchtower, and sure enough, there was a silhouette. A guy, you think, with dark hair. That was about all you could say.
"Yeah?" You called back, curiously.
"That was cool as shit!"
You laughed out, probably for the first time in months, "Thank you, mysterious stranger!"
"Glenn!" He clarified.
Huh, you pursed your lips, before responding, "Y/N!"
"Nice to meet you!"
You laughed again, before feeling a pain in your stomach. When was the last time you'd eaten? You paused, trying to think. Three days ago (there was a box of Twinkies that hadn't expired yet in a stranded supermarket). Not great.
"Hey, Glenn?" You yelled, a little hopeful.
"Yeah?"
You pursed your lips, before deciding -taking a chance, really, "You got any food in there?"
Now, you were walking through the gate, which was a little dramatic. But, you kinda liked it. It felt like you were kind of a big deal, well, until there was a swarm of eyes on you. All different kinds.
You froze, licking across your teeth.
And then, a man ran up to your side -gasping a little. Was that Glenn? How did he-
He offered his hand to shake, and you accepted it -looking at the crowd, a little defensively.
"Are they going to kill me? Or...?"
"Shit," he turned to them, "-They just want some food, guys, c'mon!"
None of them even flinched.
"I don't bite," you joked, before frowning, "-shit. That was in bad taste-"
And then, a voice called out into the tense air.
"Y/N?"
You peeked over heads, looking, because-
Your eyes locked onto hers, and you nearly jumped in place -big smile blooming along your lips, "Holy shit, Mags?!"
You'd been friends, back in high school. You'd left junior year and tried to keep in touch. It just didn't work out. (You can't even remember now if it was her or you who stopped, at this point.)
Before she could so much as reply, you ran to her -arms wide open. She eagerly reciprocated, spinning a little with the force -you'd gotten pretty good at running at this point.
"What the fuck?" You breathed into her shoulder, and she laughed big and loud, "-What are the chances?"
With a thought, you pulled back -still holding her shoulders, "Are your Dad and Beth here?"
"Yeah," she cheered, and something in you felt relieved. Thank god, they were okay.
"And, you?" She offered, a little hesitantly -notable lack at your side.
You pressed your lips together, swallowing, and shook your head, "Been alone since the beginning."
Maggie frowned, hand coming up to rest on your arm and squeezing once.
"Only lived with my boyfriend," you explained, eager to lighten the mood, "-and he actually cheated on me, so. Wasn't the worst lost."
She laughed a little, before asking -carefully, "And your family?"
Something in your chest stung, you wordlessly shook your head. (Visions of unhinged jaws and blood filling it.)
She frowned, whispering her apologies before hugging you again. You leaned into it that time.
And then, you jumped back, excited, "You have to bring me to your family, Mags, it's been so long-"
"Ya 'ave to talk to Rick first," a voice grumbled out behind you.
You spun on your heel, facing a man. Tall, brunette, dark eyes, arms crossed in front of him (strong, you noted), but you could tell in his stance. He was a layer of stone walls, and you did not want to mine.
And then, your eyes smoothed across his back. Is that a fucking crossbow? Sick.
"Whose Rick?" You asked instead, Maggie still holding your arm.
"Whose askin'?"
That, was a good voice. Was your first thought as you turned back around, and your eyes landed on a figure.
Your voice got stuck in your throat.
He was tall, stood like he owned the place (and based on the recommendation, maybe he did), all broad shoulders and strong gaze. Speaking of gaze, he had probably the bluest eyes you'd ever seen. And his hair was brown and curly, a few hung forward on his face. His jaw was unspeakable, and his button-up shirt had a few extra buttons undone to account for the heat. Holy shit.
Maggie elbowed you, and you blinked.
"Uh, me," you answered, clearing your throat -motioning to Glenn, "-he said you had some food and I'm... hungry."
Maggie promptly stomped on your toe. You pressed your lips together trying not to laugh, carefully looking over his face to see if he'd picked up on it at all. Nothing. A shame, really.
Oh well, maybe next time.
"Look, Rick," she interrupted your thoughts, "-I know 'em, really well. Y/N is a good person."
Rick's eyes dipped to you, looking you over. Oh, the words were right there on the tip of your tongue. It would be so easy-
You're trying to survive, Y/N, your mind pressed, focus.
You bit at your lip, but before you could speak for yourself, Glenn did.
"I saw 'em take on a swarm outside," he added, eyes darting to Maggie (Huh.), "-without breaking a sweat."
There are other things I can do without breaking a sweat, your brain immediately remarked, this really was too easy.
Rick seemed to think about it a second, before turning to you, "Ya got a gun?"
I'd like to be loaded with-
"No," you cleared your throat, pulling out your knife (it was one of those multicolored ones, it's why you liked it clean), "-just this."
He hummed, tilting his head with a mouth shrug, "'At's impressive."
I bet your-
You pinched your arm, swallowing, "So, what? Am I in or not?"
Rick's eyes flicked up and down you again (so easy), before he decided, "Ya can stay."
That brings you to now, sitting with Maggie outside with a can of baked beans and a spoon in your hands.
You currently had quite the view of Rick working on the farm, sweat dripping down his brow, strained arms. You'd never thought about farming in that way, but now you were.
"Is his full name Richard?" You asked, curiously.
Maggie turned to you, watching the trail of your eyes to see what you were looking at. She rolled her eyes, "I don't know."
You put a spoonful into your mouth, humming around it, "There's a reason they call them 'Dick', you know."
"Oh my god," she shoved into you -making you laugh a little. You stared down into your can.
"I'm just saying," you stressed, "-he's hot enough for it."
Maggie paused a second, before deciding to say, "His wife died."
"Shit," your smile fell.
"Died in childbirth," she continued, something distant in her eyes -you wondered what exactly it was.
"How long ago?" You asked gently, looking at him in a new light -sympathizing.
"Few months," she answered, a little shortly. You pursed your lips, debating whether to say anything. Or if you even should.
Maggie clarified, herself, "I delivered the baby. Judith, her name is Judith."
"Fuck, Mags," you fully turned to her, putting the can by your feet, "-I'm so sorry."
She took a deep breath in and out, and you wrapped an arm around her shoulders pushing her into your side, "Thanks."
"No problem," you hummed, picking your can back up and letting your eyes drift to Rick again, adding, "-I'm great with babies, you know."
"You're ridiculous," she laughed, taking the bite you offered her.
"What?" You asked, "-Staring isn't bad. He's practically a piece of art, I'm just..."
He turned to the two of you then, blue eyes flickering along your faces -you did not move your gaze at all.
Instead, you gently waved, finishing, "-admiring him."
Rick furrowed his eyebrows for a second, waving back, and then, shaking his head smiling. Count that as a win.
You gnawed at your lip a second, "Do you think he picked up on my 'hungry' thing? I was looking at him and I-"
Maggie laughed, "He definitely did. Everyone did, Y/N, you're shameless."
"It's the apocalypse," you urged, "-who gives a fuck about shame anymore? Rick is hot, and as long as he lets me, I will flirt with him. The more you resist, the more I commit. You remember James in first period?"
She hummed, "I do."
"I chased him for half a year," you continued, swirling the spoon around the can, "-and it worked, didn't it? Guys hardly get properly flattered," your eyes dipped back to him, tone going low, "-I don't mind taking on that duty for the population."
Maggie laughed again, as you just kept your eyes on him. He had dirt on his hands now, wiping at his brow, and just a few curls hung forward on his forehead. God, how did you find him in the apocalypse?
"How valiant," she deadpanned, "-You're a real hero."
"Look, just because you have a type, Glenn, and you bagged him-"
"How did you-"
"Please," you teased, "-he practically ate you earlier with his eyes. Back to my point, I, at least, get to look."
She turned to you, "Ya don't want to date him?"
"Who said that, Mags?" You smirked, turning to her with a smile with eyes that spoke for themselves.
"You know he has kids, right?" She questioned, looking at you.
"So?" you waved the spoon around in your hand, "-Single dads? Hot. Kids? Cute. Where's the loss?"
Maggie looked at you a moment, before shaking her head, "You are clinically insane."
"Maybe," you offered, still watching him, "-but the world's fucked up too. So, at least, I'm not alone."
She laughed really hard at that one, and you felt eyes all over switch to you. Blue ones too. People didn't really seem to laugh around here, so you decided that was your mission too, get people to laugh more. Maybe they could go hand-in-hand.
Time to get to work.
Daryl was sitting across from you, you'd been bugging him for the past few weeks and he'd finally relented. It wasn't easy, but you were nothing if not persistent (hence the Rick situation). Or maybe stubborn. Both? Whatever.
"Daryl, listen," you pointed out, "-you have to take time to load up the bow."
"'At don't mean nothin'," he countered.
"It does," you stressed, explaining, "-in the amount of time it takes you to put in a new arrow, I would have killed at least two."
Daryl rolled his eyes, "It doesn't take 'at long."
"Who said it takes me long to kill two walkers?"
Rick walked by then, and Daryl stopped him.
"Rick, please, take 'em away from me," he spoke out, gruff, but something in you could tell that he wasn't being serious. The guy wasn't half the mystery you expected him to be.
Rick laughed a little at the plea, eyes on you, "What are ya doin' to him?"
"It's not that bad," you laughed, explaining, "-I was just talking about if we were pit against each other to kill the most walkers in a minute. And who would win."
"An' ya want me to help decide?"
"Daryl does," you clarified, "-I am fully confident in my abilities."
Rick laughed a little (another win), "Well, I kno' Daryl's skills, so tell me yours, so it's even."
You bit at your lip, debating. God, it would be so easy. All you had to do was-
"Well," you smiled, playfully, "-I'm told I'm very good with my hands."
He blinked, and it was silent a moment before you heard a snort beside you. You immediately flung to look at him, you had just made Daryl laugh-
"No way," you stressed out, throwing yourself to your feet -pointing at him, "-you just laughed at me."
Daryl pressed his lips together into a thin line, sniffing once, "No, I didn't."
You spun to Rick, and he was already looking at you, you didn't think about it too much.
"Rick," you begged, "-c'mon. I know you and him are like... buddies, but I-"
"Buddies?" He quirked a brow, smiling. Something stirred in your stomach.
"Look, I don't fucking know," you rolled your eyes, "-just agree with me."
He bit down a smile at you, before turning to Daryl, "Ya did laugh at 'em."
"Ha," you cheered, "-I made Daryl Dixon laugh. And, I would win against you."
"He didn't say 'at," Daryl instantly defended.
"Didn't have to, Dixon," you mocked, playfully, "-it's about time management."
"Time management?" Rick questioned curiously.
"Okay, think of this, Rick," you explained, leveling him with your full focus (god he was handsome), "-when you fight with a bow, or a gun for that matter, you have to reload."
He grinned a little at you.
"Follow me, follow me," you hummed, pulling out your knife, "-when you have a physical sort of attack method, like a knife, you don't have that same time issue."
"Ya kinda do though," he interjected.
You paused, looking at him -thoughtfully, "How so?"
"Body's gotta build up energy again," he reasoned (with too much thought for this dumb conversation, smart too? god has favorites), "-Stamina is key to attackin'."
You rolled your lip in between your teeth, he had to be doing this on purpose at this point. Seriously.
"Trust me, sheriff," you spoke -a teeny bit teasing but otherwise very genuine, "-there is no problem with my stamina."
Rick bit back a laugh, turning his head to the side and smiling. You thought you saw a little red on the tips of his ears. Cute. You were unraveling the layers of one Rick Grimes, that was progress.
Daryl didn't even try to hide it that time, letting a gruff chuckle leave his lips, "'M glad I'm not your focus for 'at."
You patted his shoulder, standing up, "It'll be devastating one day, Robin Hood. Don't come crying to me when it is."
"Did ya just call me Robin Hood?"
Rick laughed at that one, head tilting up to the sky. You smiled wide.
"Look at that," you hummed, proud, "-a two for one. Which-"
They both looked at you, but you stuck to your guns. And you smirked a little.
"-honestly, I would not mind," you added -thoughtfully, "-Think about it, and get back to me."
You walked backward a few steps, watching as Rick smiled at you before turning back to fix his gaze on Daryl. Smiling at the ground, you spun on your heel, and went off to find someone else to pester.
You felt a pair of eyes follow you though, and you maybe grinned a little brighter.
Now, you were wandering off on your own. On your own run, you liked to do that sometimes. Maggie nearly had a heart attack because of it, but what damage you did get was usually minor. Except for once, but that wasn't your fault. Well it was, you smashed a window with your fist to see if you could do it. And you could, which was impressive.
Now, you were strolling through an old novelty store -little knick-knacks. Finding some figurines, you grabbed a superhero one and stashed it away. Your eyes caught on a DVD player, the kind for both music and movies, and you picked it up -turning it over in your hands. Battery powered.
On a mission to find both DVDs and some batteries, you roamed through some aisles -particularly a mug one.
Peeking through at some of them, you paused. Taking your pack off and slipping the DVD player into it (along with the few good DVDs you found, no batteries though) on top of some canned food you'd found, you zipped it up. And with a breath, grabbed a mug.
Smiling big, you made your way out of the store.
When you got back to the prison, Maggie was waiting for you -tapping her feet, anxiously. She was a little like a mother, you weren't sure how you felt about it. But you loved her so, you dealt with it.
"Hey Mags," you cheered, mug handle twisted between your fingers.
She instantly relaxed, eyes scanning you over before dropping to the mug. She frowned.
"Please, tell me-"
"I got some food," you sighed, "-I'm not entirely useless."
She pursed her lips, "And the mug?"
You grinned, holding it up for her to see -tapping your fingers along both sides. Her eyes skimmed over it before she frowned (biting back a smile, you could tell).
"Seriously?" She asked.
"What?" You responded, groaning, "-I can't get gifts?"
She shoved into your side, and before you could take too many steps, you were met with your target -leaning against the fence, few steps from Maggie. Was he waiting for you too?
"Rick," you dropping your hands, particularly to avoid him from reading the text, "-what are you doing here?"
"Ya do 'at a lot?" He asked, a little pointedly. You thought you recognized something a little like worry in it, "-Go off on your own?"
Huh.
"Yeah," you laughed a little, "-you haven't noticed? I've been getting like... half the food we have."
Rick hummed (a little in appreciation) before his eyes dropped to your hands, "And what's 'at?"
"A gift," you extended it to him, unflinchingly.
He pulled himself from his spot on the wall, walking forward and accepting it. His fingers (great fingers, really. Was that weird to say?) wrapping around it, you noticed for a second that your fingers brushed -your breath halted a little in place.
"A mug?" He asked looking at you for a second, eyebrows furrowed.
You took your hand, and spun it around in his hands -brushing his skin against yours, "The other side."
He smiled a little, laughing.
Right there on a rather plain mug, were the words '#1 HOT DAD'.
He bit back a smile, eyes peeking up at you again, "Ya really ain't gonna let 'is go, are ya?"
"Nope," you popped the 'p', before clarifying, "-unless you want me to."
Rick licked a line against his teeth, grinning a little with something in his eye, "Who said 'at?"
"Noted," you smiled back, something fluttering in your chest, "-now, where's Carl? I got him something good."
"Ya got him somethin' too?"
He was looking at you a little curiously, like he was seeing new layers of you. You kind of wanted to squirm a little at his gaze. You were not used to people figuring you out.
You sighed, quickly turning your pack to the front and unzipping it. With a breath, you dug around and pulled out the figurine -Rick's eyes caught on it immediately. A small smile creeping along his mouth.
"He told me once he liked comics," you clarified, clearing your throat, "-figured he would like this. You... You think he will?"
"He'll love it," he answered, something new in his eyes, "-C'mon, I'll take ya to him."
On the way there, he seemed to pause a moment, something on his mind. You patiently waited for him to say it.
"'Saw somethin' else in 'ere," he mindlessly remarked, as the mug swung between his fingers "-What is it?"
"Oh," you pulled your pack foward again, excited, extending the figurine to him for safekeeping (he took it with a smile), "-a DVD player."
You held it in your hands, showing to him.
"Found some DVDs, good ones," you continued, before putting it back in your bag, and accepting the figurine back (your fingers brushed again), "-no batteries though."
Rick hummed, pursing his lips like he was thinking about something. He didn't say a word though.
You didn't have much time to think about it, because a few days after that, the prison fell. You'd escaped with Rick and Carl, but you weren't exactly yourself. Not after everything.
There was Judith, and Maggie, and... and Beth and Hershel. Every day felt like there was bile turning in your stomach; every time you closed your eyes, you saw someone... someone dead.
You were lying against the grass, looking up at the stars -it was still so pretty. Despite it all, the sky was still the same. Bright and twinkly. It was when everyone was on the road, wandering for a place to go. You just couldn't sleep, so you took it upon yourself to just look at the sky. You thought the clouds might be pretty, but the night was a little breathtaking.
"Ya awake?"
You didn't say a word.
"C'mon, Y/N, I know ya are."
"Yeah, I am," you sighed, saying shortly, "-Can't sleep."
There was an echo of footsteps, and then you felt body heat beside you. There was a beat.
"Ya ain't gonna say anythin'?" Rick hummed, turning his head to face you.
You matched his eyes (he's probably more handsome now, honestly), "About what?"
"Me, ya know," he motioned, to your side, "-layin' with ya."
You laughed at him a little, before teasing, "Awe, you miss it, don't you, sheriff?"
"Not a sheriff anymore," he hummed, something a little heavy in his voice.
"Eh," you shrugged, looking back to the stars, "-you still are in my mind."
Rick smiled at you, wordlessly.
Before you added, plainly, "Mostly because I love a man in uniform."
He laughed then, big and bright, and you felt something warm in your chest that you knew but hadn't felt in a while.
You wanted to be genuine, really genuine.
"You are a good man, Rick," you turned to look at him, and he looked straight back, "-We've all done shit we never should've, and maybe it's fucked us up a little bit, moved our path in the wrong direction once or twice, but-"
You looked back up to the sky, still feeling his eyes on you. It was kind of like a dream, like the apocalypse wasn't real for a second, just you and Rick. And maybe you wanted that a lot more than you knew.
"-you've got a big heart, Rick," you finished, soundly, "-And even if sometimes you lose sight of what you're doing, or maybe who you are, that... that doesn't change."
Rick didn't say anything for a moment, words echoing out into the night air. You couldn't find it in yourself to regret them, though. You never really regret what you said these days, there was no reason too.
You really only regret what you didn't say. Maybe to people who aren't around anymore. Your heart sunk a little in your chest, but it felt a little lighter -just a smidgen. (Maybe because of who you were with.)
"I got somethin' for ya," Rick suddenly spoke, sitting up (you followed suit).
You furrowed your eyebrows, "You got me something? When?"
Mindlessly, he replied, "On the last run."
You pursed your lips but waited patiently. He moved over to his pack, unzipping one of his pockets and pulling something out -you couldn't quite see. Trying to peek you moved over a little, but nothing.
With a breath, he stood back up and waltzed over to you (somehow he made walking hot, they needed to research that), extending it forward right into your face.
You blinked, gently taking it into your hands and looking at it closely. It was dark so you couldn't really-
Batteries. He handed you a pack of AA batteries.
"No way," you laughed out, "-you remembered that?"
"I remember a lot of what ya say," he offered casually, and you felt something shoot down your spine. And with a breath, he sat right beside you, so close your knees bumped a little.
Pulling your bag over to you, you dug around in it. You'd kept the DVD player and DVDs, not really with the hope of finding batteries. But, to feel a little human, remember life before.
You'd taken to putting stickers on it when you saw any, so the top of it was covered in an assortment. You ran your fingers over it a second, taking it in, before flipping it over. Popping open the little tab, you let out a breath of relief when it was AAs.
Rick laughed.
"I was going to be so pissed if it wasn't," you spoke, "-you have no idea."
He just looked at you then, in a way you'd seen before but never really thought about. You turned back to your bag, shuffling around to find your stash.
"You want music or a movie?"
"Movie's fine," he hummed, and you still felt his eyes trained solely on you. You tried to shake it off.
"Let's see," you pulled out a few of the movies you had, showing them to Rick, "-I've got... a kid's animated movie, or... a... cheesy romcom!"
Rick stared at you, instead of the movies, before flickering to them.
Rambling, you continued, "I also picked up some horror stuff, but I... I really think that was a bad move on my part."
He laughed again, just looking at you in a way you didn't really know how to label. Or react to. You were kind of a little overwhelmed at the fact that he'd even gotten you the batteries, and then the way he was looking at you-
"Think romcom sounds good," he interrupted your thoughts, scanning over you.
"Alright," you acknowledged, putting the other ones up, and scooting back next to him -not enough to touch. It was a little awkward and you weren't sure how you were going to-
"I don't bite ya know," he quipped, laughing a little.
You turned to him, grinning, "Well maybe I do."
Rick laughed again for a moment, just looking at you. And then he extended out an arm, welcoming you into his side.
You paused a moment, before carefully guiding yourself to slot into him; the back of your head against his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around the back of your shoulders. You brought your knees up, to carefully balance the DVD player (shaped like a little laptop really). A tiny little screen for the two of you to see on. Logistically, that's why you were so close but a part of you thought a little otherwise.
"I don't," you hummed.
"What?"
"I don't bite."
He laughed a little, "Good."
"Unless you want me to-"
And the laughter that filled the night was just between you and him. And maybe in the morning, you were fast asleep on his shoulder and maybe he looked at you a little like you were the greatest thing he'd ever seen and maybe he shushed all the others just to have the moment last even a second longer.
You'd never really know.
Now, you were in Alexandria. You'd gotten Maggie back, you'd gotten Judith back. You were on a new high, and that meant two things. More pestering, and two, flirting with Rick.
You were walking through Alexandria with Maggie, just keeping her on her feet really. She wasn't super pregnant yet, and it was good to be healthy.
"I cannot believe you're pregnant," you mindlessly remarked, holding Judith close to your side.
"I have been," she retorted, "-for a while. Think ya have had time to digest it."
"But, it's like physical proof that you fucked," you commented, "-unprotected, by the way. I know you missed that sex-ed day, but seriously-"
"Carl's proof that Rick fucked," Maggie defended, eyes smoothing over him with a few of his friends.
"Well," you pursed your lips, "-I know that Rick fucked. Just on principle, he's-"
She motioned for you to zip it, "Don't start. I know you are doin' good, which is great. But it also means ya become a lil' unbearable."
"Me? Unbearable?" You turned to Judith, cooing a little, "-Can you believe the nerve of her, Jude?"
Judith smiled at you with her big brown eyes and toothless little mouth. You pinched her cheek, instinctively, "So cute."
"I still can't believe that you're in love with Ri-"
"I told you that in confidence," you interrupted, pointed.
Maggie stuck out her tongue at you and Judith laughed a little at it. Funny faces, right. You could physically see the pregnancy hormones on her face as she cooed at Judith.
You would've said something, but you had just done it yourself.
"Where's your keeper anyway?" You hummed like you'd been stuck with her (you actively searched her out).
"'E's not my keeper," she responded, sternly (mom voice, already?), "-and he's out on run, gettin' supplies."
"If he's not your keeper, how'd you know who I was talking about?"
"You are so-"
Before she could finish such a kind sentence, the two of you were interrupted. A presence waltzing up to your side.
You turned to look who, and-
Your heart lept into your throat. It was Rick, now clean-shaven, and although, you had loved the beard (don't even get you started), his jaw was on full display. Blue, blue eyes. And dipping to his clothes, he was in a damn uniform.
"Look at you, Rick," you complimented, smiling.
"'Heard ya liked a man in uniform," he smiled (a new type of way), and winked. And before you could say a word, he walked forward -past you.
You stuttered to a stop, Maggie right beside you. Blinking you turned to her, and she looked right back at you. And then you both turned to look at Rick, still walking the same way he was.
Turning back forward, you opened your mouth, "Sorry, did that just happen?"
Maggie hummed, pulling you with her, "It did."
"How did I never think of that?"
"Think of what?" She offered, as you smoothed back into a step with her.
You answered, eyebrows furrowing, "That he might flirt back."
She shrugged, "If it helps, I never thought he would."
"I am not against shoving a pregnant woman," you hissed back, with no bite. You never really had any. And you both broke into laughter, as you roamed through Alexandria.
Now, Daryl was leaning against a house as you stood beside him -pestering as always.
"No, listen," you turned to him, attentively, "-it's called fuck, marry, kill-"
"I ain't playing it with ya."
"C'mon, Daryl, it's fun, look-" you flagged down Glenn (who was carrying a box, of what, who knows?), "-Glenn, fuck, marry, kill. Michonne, Carol, and Daryl."
"Easy," he laughed, "-fuck Michonne, marry Carol, and sorry, dude, but kill Daryl."
"See?" You motioned to Glenn, as he walked forward.
"Don't ya 'ave a wife?" Daryl remarked, as Glenn moved along.
"Oh please," you shook your hand dismissively, "-it's all just fun. Just hypothetical scenarios."
"Okay, now," you started over, "-fuck, marry, kill. Deanna-"
"Kill," he answered -unflinchingly.
"See!" you cheered, "-you're getting the hang of it-"
"What are the two of ya doin'?"
You turned to see the one and only Rick Grimes, a little more worn today, which you kind of preferred, still had those bandaids on (how did he make that look hot?), and more casually dressed. In the white t-shirt, we trust.
"I'm teaching Daryl how to play fuck, marry, kill," you answered, eyes solid on him, "-obviously."
Before he could respond, Daryl chimed up, something mischievous in his eyes. You squinted at him, trying to figure it out. And then he opened his mouth.
"I got one," he spoke, a smile teasing on his lips (looking at Rick, directly), "-Y/N, Glenn, and Rosita."
You stared at the eye contact for a moment (everything was so suspicious), before asking, "What am I supposed to do with myself?"
Daryl shrugged, you bit your lip a second.
"I guess I could kill myself, big waste, but-" you paused, "-ooh, wait, I could, like, clone situation fuck myself-"
"Now, 'at would be a sight to see," a low southern drawl interrupted your words, and your voice faltered to a stop.
You turned to him, squinting at him for a second -trying to understand. All he did was wink at you again, and you hated that it made your knees a little wobbly. Especially when he was holding onto the column of the porch, and slightly leaning toward you-
"Before I was so rudely interrupted," you cleared your throat, "-I would marry Glenn, fuck Rosita, and, tragically, kill myself."
Daryl nodded his head, before motioning to Rick, "What 'bout ya?"
"Am I playin'?" He questioned, finger pointing to himself and eyes dashing to you.
"Might as well," you shrugged, "-you're already over here."
He pursed his lips a second like he was thinking, eyes particularly avoiding you, "An' I can't choose one person for two of 'em?"
You swallowed, oh, he was playing dirty.
"Nope," Daryl answered.
And then, he turned into something much softer, something more familiar, "Then, marry Y/N, fuck Rosita, and kill Glenn."
Marry?
Your heart lept into your throat, and your fingers started fidgeting with your shirt -instinctively. How the hell was he winning? I started this game-
"Thought so," Daryl responded.
And out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carol. Her eyes matched yours a second, and you tried to convey how desperate you were to get away from this very scene. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then she spoke.
"Hey, Y/N! Can you come help me with the food?"
"Of course, Carol," you called back, smiling at the two of them, "-sorry, duty calls."
Rick just grinned at you then, like he knew exactly what you were doing. And you were 100% sure he did. Stupid handsome men with stupidly beautiful blue eyes. Ignoring the fact that you physically brushed against him to get off the porch, you frantically caught up to Carol.
You were in the pantry now, gathering ingredients, Carol directing you -naming them as she found them.
"So," she looked at you, "-are you gonna tell me what that was about?"
You pursed your lips, before answering, "Rick's flirting back with me."
Carol raised her eyebrows at you, "Huh."
"And I was teaching Daryl how to play fuck, marry, kill, and he-" you rapted your fingernails along one of the cans, "-and he said he'd marry me. But all... genuine and shit."
"And that's bad?"
"No, no," you shook your head, putting the can into a basket, "-It's not bad. Just... I don't know if he means it."
"You just said that he said it genuinely," Carol pointed out, grabbing another can.
"Well yeah, but-" you scrambled a moment, "-all that time ago, I was flirting genuinely. I mean even though it was playful, it was still genuine."
"And," she connected the dots, "-you're not sure if he's genuine?"
"Yeah," you skimmed along the shelves, gathering the last can she needed.
"Well," she took it from your hand, blue eyes on you softly, "-if it's worth anything, I think he's genuine. And maybe this is his way of showing how he feels about you."
You hummed, wordlessly.
"He's let you flirt with him this long," she continued, bringing a hand up to your shoulder, "-that has to mean something, doesn’t it?"
She had a point.
"Now," she adjusted the basket, "-are you actually going to help me with the food? Or was it just an excuse to run away from Rick?"
You laughed, "I'll help, I'll help. I'm not a total dick. Speaking of-"
She turned to you.
"Do you know if Rick's full name is Richard?"
It was a few weeks later, and they were filled with frustratingly blue winks. And that was one thing, but now you were being stupid. You were stupid.
You'd thought Oh, it'll be just like old times, I'll go out on a run. It'll be so nice-
And now you were walking with a gunshot would, quickly bandaged by a rip of your t-shirt and whatever you had around you. Which in whatever the hell store it was, was not a lot. All you'd managed to find was alcohol so you at least soaked the shirt.
You'd blearily walked all the way home, eyes foggy, and praying that a walker wouldn't come near you. And now you saw it, Alexandria.
"Gabriel," you called, breathlessly, "-Gabriel, please let me in."
You heard him say something but you were delirious. Maybe something with your name? Head fuzzy and eyes bleary, you were coming down from the high of getting somewhere safe. As you waltzed into Alexandria (pain in the abdomen so hot it almost felt numbing), there was a swarm of people around you immediately. Felt like you were back in the prison, when Maggie would be waiting and you think she was now.
"Hey, hey," she chanted, grabbing your face (and you could see her now), "-look at me, Y/N, tell me what the hell happened."
"Some guy, the bitch," you muttered out, a little slurred you think, "-just shot me, because he wanted the last of the damn Campbell soup, who shoots someone for Campbell soup?"
Her eyes dropped to your body, you mindlessly noted that it was sticky. Your eyes dropped too, and saw all the red -so much red.
"I think I lost a lot of blood, Mags."
"Somebody go get Rick, and the doctor, now," she shouted (loud, loud), before turning back to you, "-How the hell did you get here?"
"I walked," you answered simply.
"You walked?" She responded, hands on your shoulders, "-How did you-"
You were safe now, and everything in your body just gave out.
"Adrenaline is a hell of a drug," you hummed, laughing a little, before falling to the ground.
Your head stung from the ground, as Maggie tried to get down by your side -all pregnant belly.
"'S okay, Mags, don't-" you mumbled "-don't hurt yourself."
She frowned, and you thought she might have tears in her eyes, "I have to stay with you, Y/N, whose going to keep you awake-"
"Glenn," you called, and you saw him saunter up to your side, a little slurred, "-take care of 'er, help her sit. Don't worry, Mags, don't worry-"
You heard a slap of footsteps then, quick and brisk, and before you could wonder who, blue eyes and rough hands were guiding your face. He was starting to grow his stubble back, you mindlessly noted.
"Rick," you smiled a little fuzzily, reaching up and patting his face, "-See Mags, Rick'll take care of me."
"Hey, hey," he brought your focus to him, "-keep lookin' at me, okay?"
"Well," you slurred a little, "-'at's not very hard, sheriff."
He turned to the crowd then, voice low and gruff, "What the hell happened?"
You heard Maggie respond then, through sobs, "'Ey said that some guy shot 'em, over a... over some food."
"Didn't even ask if he could have 'em, first. Who does that-"
"Daryl," he motioned -tone low, and he immediately nodded. You watched him leave your eyesight.
Rick instead, brought your face back to him, as you recognized the doctor to be by your side, scrambling with some white stuff.
"Hey, hey, baby," he spoke, low in a whisper, "-I'm 'ere, focus on me. Look at me."
You smiled again, delirious, "You called me baby, that feels nice. Everythin' else burns-"
"I kno', I kno'," he soothed, you felt pressure on your abdomen (hissing in pain, as your eyes got more blurry), "-ya did a good job gettin' back 'ere. To where you're safe. Ya did a good job."
"Just kept walking," you slurred, "-couldn't stop. Wasn't gonna die to some asshole."
Rick laughed then a little, and you felt something a little different than pain. Your hands naturally came to his face, mindlessly rubbing your thumbs against his cheekbones. He's always been so handsome, only gets better with time.
You noticed he leaned into it a little, careful not to hurt you. Yeah, you realized, he was genuine.
God, what if you had missed out on this, with Rick? All because of some stupid can of soup-
"Rick," you started, and he looked at you a little like you held the world, you were the world maybe, "-I think I'm gonna die."
"You're not, no-" he held his hand over yours (it was so warm. Why had you never held his hand?), "-You're not gonna die, baby. You're gonna be fine."
"I'm bleeding," you breathed out, scanning over him, "-Been bleeding the whole time. You're not supposed to bleed that much, Rick."
"Ya ain't gonna die," he repeated, hands gathering your face, "-Look at me, ya ain't dyin'."
Concern clear on his face, you felt the urge to soothe, soothe, soothe-
You looked at him, eyes scanning over his face. He was handsome, yeah, but he was caring, smart, and so, so kind. You wanted to tell him that, see what he'd say. What he'd do.
"'Said that you were a good man, 'at you have a big heart," you hummed, eyes languidly blinking, "-still mean it. Don't you forget it."
He looked at you for a second, eyes flicking all over your face, before looking to the doctor. She must've said something (your ears felt stuffy) because then Rick was picking you up. He was everywhere, smell, sight. All you could feel was Rick, body heat thrumming and blooming into your side.
"Always knew you were strong," you mindlessly remarked.
You felt Rick laugh in his chest, and your eyelids were so heavy then. You slowly began blinking, your brain slowing down. Maybe you could close your eyes just for a little bit.
"Got so much to say to ya."
And then, it all faded to black.
This blanket is scratchy as hell, you mindlessly remarked. It was almost like a thin sheet, barely coating you, and you think if you moved your arms, it would make that noise that shitty bedsheets did. Why were hospital beds so bad? Shouldn't they be comfortable?
And then your nose was hit with the heavy sterilized air. You scrunched your nose up on instinct, it made your throat burn-
"Y/N? Darlin'?"
You slowly blinked your eyes open, heavy and languid; they always had those florescent lights too. How was that helpful?
"'S too fucking bright in here."
You heard him laugh a little, maybe in relief mostly, and you blearily blinked to get a look at him.
"'D turn it down for ya if I could."
You laughed a little and squinted your eyes open, laying gently on him. He looked a little worse for wear, his hair messy and shirt a little crooked. You wanted to fix his curls back in place, and your hand moved before you could stop it.
Gently, you threaded his hair back. He was a breath away from where you laid, so it wasn't too far of a reach.
Rick looked at you so softly, that the words cut off your from your lips. And with a breath, he pulled your hand down from his hair, sliding it against his cheek. Before you could say a word about it, he turned his head and gently kissed your palm.
You bit at your lip, eyes flickering over him, "How long have you been here?"
"Since the doc' allowed me to be," he answered, fidgeting with your hand -not really wanting to let go, you guessed.
"And Mags?" You asked, concern flickering through your eyes, "-Are she and the baby okay?"
"Yeah," he looked at you, a little in disbelief, "-they're alright. She was stressed, yeah, but Glenn kept 'er calm."
"And," your eyes darted to your abdomen, where your wound now hid, "-the wound?"
"Good," he replied, eyes swimming over you like he couldn't quite believe you were okay, "-Doc' says ya just need to rest, not irritate the stitches. Which I kno' will be hard for ya."
You sighed, leaning your head back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling, "I am going to be so bored."
Rick chuckled a little, before falling suspiciously quiet. You turned to him, just to see him looking down and fidgeting with your hand -a little like he was working on saying something. You simply waited.
"'Ve been looking for those batteries since ya said ya wanted 'em," he spoke, a little quietly.
You froze, "Since the prison?"
"Yeah," he offered, "-apparently 'ey're a hot commodity."
"Why?" You questioned, looking at him curiously, "-Why all that work for some batteries?"
"Because," he hummed simply, eyes matching yours now, "-ya wanted 'em."
You pushed your lips into a thin line, the glimmer of hope sparking in your chest. Not saying a word, you just stared at him for a second; not unlike in the early days, you were just admiring him for a lot more than his (still unbelievably handsome) face.
"Y/N, I-" he started, eyes dipping back down to your hands. He seemed to pause a moment, debating.
And then he looked up at you, eyes set in his path -unflinchingly. In a sort of understanding, like everything made sense to him now. The silence was heavy until he leaned forward and brushed his hand along your cheek -carefully. It made you feel precious, and your eyes maybe got a little cloudy because of it.
"I'm in love with ya," he let out a breath, tone heavy and genuine, "-an... and the way ya blatantly hit on me but in the damn most genuine type of way."
You laughed a little and leaned gently into his palm. He looked at you in a way you couldn't label then, or maybe you could (love), and rubbed his thumb along your cheekbone.
"I didn't know how to react to it, at first," he hummed, something settled in his eyes, "-the attention ya gave me. 'S somethin' I've never dealt with before."
"Really?" You let slip past your lips, and his grin grew wide as he let his head fall and shook it, smiling at the ground.
"Even now," he laughed a little, turning his gaze up again, "-ya always said thin's like it was so easy to do. Like ya were tellin' me 'at the sun was hot."
"You did give me some pretty good set ups," you clarified, smiling at him.
"'Never meant to," he added, grinning a little in wonder, "-I couldn't think straight when ya said 'em, so I'm surprised I even did."
You hummed, eyes twinkling at him and he looked at you just a little more like he was in love. It made a spark shoot down to your toes, warmth flooding your chest.
"If it's worth anything," you spoke, a little embarrassed, "-my brain stops working when you do the fond thing."
"The fond thing?"
"It's just," you sighed, trying to articulate, "-It's a way that you look at me, or... or smile at me. When you do the soft stuff."
"What exactly is-" he hummed, gently, holding your attention like your words really mattered, "-'the soft stuff'?"
"Uh," you blew a raspberry with your lips, "-like giving me the batteries, and... and that whole conversation actually."
"Oh," he laughed a little, blue eyes twinkling, "-like I was in love with ya."
"What? No, you weren't... not that early-"
And then you looked at him.
"Shit," you marveled, "-really?"
"Like I said," he smiled at you, a little like you were cute, "-I looked for those batteries for months. For ya. An'-"
His face got a little more serious.
"-I really missed ya. 'At was probably when I first realized it."
You rolled your lip inbetween your teeth, "Yeah?"
"Ya used to make everybody laugh, and were always smilin'-" he explained, "-it wasn't even just the flirtin', it was just... I knew ya were hurtin', an' I couldn't help. Or I... I didn't know what to do to help."
You just stared.
"An' I missed ya so desperately, I just-" he let out a breath, "-It all clicked into place, and I went on 'at run, hopin' to god there were batteries-"
You laughed a little weepily, leaning into his hand.
"-because I just wanted to make ya feel better. Bring ya back to me."
"How the hell did you even find them?" You questioned, wiping at your eyes, "-It couldn't have been that lucky."
"'Wasn't," he replied simply, "-I was only supposed to do a few stores, I did the whole strip."
"God, really?" You smiled, "-For batteries?"
"No," he hummed, simply, "-for ya."
You fell quiet.
"I would do anythin' for ya," he added, voice a little breathless, "-anythin'."
"Anything?"
Rick laughed a little, grin bright, "Ya need to rest, baby."
"That's not a no," you chimed, grinning.
He looked at you a certain type of way then, "'S definitely not a no."
You felt your heart pound in your chest for a moment. That was something to look forward to. Something stirred in your stomach.
"What?" He asked, teasing, "-Ya all bark and no bite, hmm?"
"If I wasn't bedridden," you spoke flatly, "-I would kick your ass."
"Ya would," he agreed.
And you laughed, eyes smoothing over his face. Before noticing something you hadn't quite said yet.
Words fell out of your lips, "Even though you probably already know, because I've chasing you all this time-"
He smiled at you.
"-I love you too," you finished, "-if it wasn't obvious."
"'Was kinda obvious," he leveled -teasing, but something was sparkling so bright in his eyes that you didn't really mind.
"Yeah, yeah," you moved your hand dismissively, "-don't start, sheriff."
You paused for a moment, eyes dancing along the room, "Do I get to go home today?"
"No," he spoke, with a certainty that shook through your bones (this man had literally everything), "-'Need to be taken care of, so ya are stayin' wit' me until you're healed."
You blinked at him, he was doing the fond thing again. Your mind relaxed to a low hum.
"Maybe after too," he added, tone softer but not any less certain, "-if ya want."
You stared at him, wordless.
Rick blinked, looking at you, before grinning, "'At the fond thing?"
"Yeah," you cleared your throat, embarrassed, "-I don't... It's been a long time since I've been cared for. At all. And you're a very handsome man offering to-"
"Not offerin'," he clarified, eyes set on yours, "-just doin'. 'Specially now, 'cause I kno' ya love me too."
All headstrong, decisive, and certain. How was this happening to you?
"'Thought you said it was obvious?"
"It was," he hummed, grinning at you, "-I could just barely wrap my head around ya flirtin' with me. Couldn't really see it."
You thought for a second, before speaking, "Was it Daryl?"
He grinned at you, tilting his head a little, "Maybe."
"Always knew he was a big softie," you hummed, "-read him like a book when we first met. Stone layers to an ooey-gooey center."
Rick scrunched up his nose, "Ooey-gooey center?"
"Sometimes," you sighed, "-Sometimes I say stupid shit around really attractive people. It's a habit."
"'Guess 'at means you're still gonna be flirting with me?"
"As long as you want me to, sheriff," you clarified.
"So maybe forever then," he grinned and you felt your heart leap into your chest (fuck his fond things). You were totally never getting over that.
"Yeah," you hummed in agreement, "-Maybe forever then."
Mission accomplished.
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jupitermoontarot24 · 2 days
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👑How Should You Customize Your Avatar Next?👑💅
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Welcome back guys! Got this idea from a couple readers on here so thanks to them!
Personal readings are in my shop if interested!
ENJOY as always 💋
Pile 1
welcome.
pile one I feel like you should start wearing stuff that shows off your torso more. you should get low rise jeans and pants also clothes that are flowy. you should get a tan or at least a bronze. some type of glow to your skin. you should start wearing hoop earrings big hoops small hoops, bracelets stack them also wear accessories and jewelry in your hair. Emphasis on the waist because the song playing in the background is wasted love lol. I think you should also show off your chest area more. More like your collarbone not cleavage but your actual chest area. I feel like you should grow your hair out if you're wearing it short. if you been think about cutting your hair don't lol you should embrace long hair at least for this pile. You should start working on your summer body. You don't want to be at the beach feeling like a whale because you were in Fairy Tail land. if you want something to change you should work on it so if you want to be summer ready you should work on being ready. I also feel like if your hair is a certain color right now you should probably change it. if you colored your hair during a specific season and it's a different season now you need to change it to match the present. If you do want to color your hair a different color you should go blonde maybe or brown or red for some people or pink. I feel like you should start incorporating dresses more into your wardrobe. You should start wearing dresses a lot more or a skirts. I would also invest into some good pajamas that are cute and nice pajama sets. Also hair accessories like I said headbands scrunchies stuff like that. You should also get some different frames of glasses if you've been thinking about that. Get into reading more it'll bring alot more enjoyment and it'll increase your intelligence and vocabulary so if you think about reading some books I would do that as well. There's something about  having blonde hair that will help you attract more people. You might get a lot more attention being a blonde and for some people you might meet your future spouse while you're blonde.  You have beautiful  boobs pile one. I'm not sure if you've been thinking about changing that but there's nothing wrong with your chest area and spirit wants you to know that. I would also get a new wardrobe. There's something about getting rid of shirts and tops and wearing more dresses, sets and skirts maybe even jumpsuits but I don't see you wearing jeans that much mostly bell bottoms or flowy pants. If you been thinking about getting ombre hair or decorating your apartment to match your aesthetic you should. Script what you want your physical appearance to look like! You have that power
Pile 2 
Welcome
Off the bat pile 2 you should start taking more pictures. You should start having whole photoshoots especially when you're dressed up. have a face of makeup  and your hair is done. You need to take photos because you are not capturing any moments and if someone were to ask to see you or something happened to you they wouldn't have any photos to show. if your bestfriends were yo meet your favorite celebrity, would they have any cute photos of you to show? That's not what you want!  You want to have a “ that's them” photo. You should update your profile picture and you should upload more on your social media. You should try out some new makeup look, more bold looks. Eyeshadows and lipsticks. if you were thinking about coloring your natural hair you should but still keep it natural. I see like a Balayage, ombre, highlights or going one shade lighter. I would also start wearing necklaces more or wear necklace that you can wear every single day. You need to start acting like you are somebody. Its like all your beauty goes to waste because you don't take pictures and you don't experiment too much with your looks as much as you can.. If you were trying to work on your body and lose weight you should start dancing! Zumba or even just dancing in your room with earphones to burn calories as well. You should also get a tattoo or another. Put some art on your body. It seems like you have long hair and I think it's fitting for you but I do think some type of color could be nice as well. I'll also start incorporating solids in your wardrobe. if you don't have any Basic Black white or gray tops you should get some. You don't want every shirt you have to have a Graphic or a print on it just in case you have to dress more upscale or something. Especially if you wear younger hairstyles like buns or pigtails ponytail stuff like that you want to balance that off by wearing a more mature outfit that day. You don't like a teenager if you're not lol. I would start trying to mature my wardrobe if I were you. Start cleaning out your old wardrobe for stuff that you don't want anymore. Also clip off your dead ends of your hair it'll make your hair grow faster. I would also invest in your skincare not just your face but your whole body. I would also invest in nice pajamas if I were you. Stuff thats comfortable but also cute or sexy. You could be drawn pile one. 
Enchanting & Gucci Mane - Issa Photoshoot [Official Music Video]
Pile 3 
Welcome
If you have you been thinking about upgrading your phone you should(new phone or update software). I would invest in good lip products, more lip glosses, balms and stuff like. I would also cut some of the ends off of your hair, clip your dead ends. You should get your nails done pile three, get your nails professionally done you deserve it! and get them long if you like that. It’ll make your hands look better and it'll make your presence more put together. You could be drawn  pile two. You could be drawn to all of the piles. I would say also get another tattoo or one in general. if you've been thinking about a certain ideas you want get them. I think if you have tattoos now they're really nicely placed and they look good so as you continue to build them they will look really good together. I think you have that down pack. I would invest in more hats and scarves (spring scarves, summer scarves, bucket hats). I think you should start dressing out the box .Let your inner child pick the outfits out some days and wear stuff that maybe shouldn't go together but it does. Like how bratz used to wear skirts over leggings or stuff like that. The belt over the dress lol. also don't put yourself in a box when it comes to your wardrobe because I see you dressing differently every single day because your style changes on the day. I would also say let people pick out your outfit sometimes or certain pieces for you. if you go shopping with one of your friends or your partner and they say” do you like this? you think it's cute? or I think this will look good with you!”  Take their advice because I think you might end up looking really good. If you've been thinking about getting your nipples pierced you should. if you've been thinking about getting into voice lessons or singing or voice acting you should. I think this is something you really dream of doing and it's a dream for a reason you should act on it. People might pay more attention to you than you think they do in this pile. You look cute though overall. 
Pile 4
Welcome
Pile four if you have been thinking about getting a tattoo you should definitely get it. I think tha'ts come out in every pile lol. You could be drawn to more than one. if you've been thinking about getting something tatted down your spine or any placement on your back or stomach you should go ahead and do it. if you are looking for ideas for a tattoo you should do something that has a symbolization to yourself. That could be something that represents your name meaning or your culture, ancestry, past life whatever. You should start adding more dark clothing to your wardrobe. Pieces of black clothing, different designs of black clothing. I see you gaining more weight in the right areas to where you can look more full in a feminine way or take it how it resonates. Fat booty? Anime thighs? If you have you been thinking about getting a pet you should get that as well. Your pet could end up being a soul animal or you should get a tattoo of an animal that represents you. I think funky hair colors look really good on you so if you ever colored your hair blue or pops of color you should go back to that. I think Spirit really likes that on you and it fits your personality. Try blue, red or blonde. I think you should also step up your shoe game, get some more sneakers or sandals or whatever to rock with your outfits. If you haven't been going to the gym you should start. I think you should also get into yoga or something that will help in easing the mind and body. You should wear crystals, get crystal necklaces or bracelets or something or  hold them in your pocket. If you're trying to lose weight you should drink green tea or some type of tea. If you're trying to gain weight you should take protein before you work out. You should definitely get your hair a crazy color again, don't go back to black or brown. You should also decorate your room to make it more spring and lighter. I would also experiment with hair extensions as well as add-ons to braids making your braids super long or clip-ins.
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sosa2imagines · 2 days
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Misunderstanding. Part 2.
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Warnings- Angst, ex being mean, misjudgment. Slight assualt, Steve being mean, kissing another person. -----------------------------------------------------
Tony's parties are always extravagant, endless drinks, lots of food and strangers ready to show off and flirt. Especially with Steve and Bucky. Bucky? You don't mind, Nat can take care of him. But Steve? Hell no! stay the fuck away from him.
You wore a nice blue gown with slit in the side, pairing it along with the chain Steve gifted you.
As you went down to the party hall, you saw everyone was looking glamorous. Nat was fierce as always, Bucky and Thor dashing, Sam looking handsome in his suit, Wanda breathtakingly beautiful, Tony as usual stunning.
But your eyes were locked on one man. The Captain, looking hot in dark navy-blue suit. You thanked all the holy things, that you both were matching tonight. His eyes find yours and a small smile comes on his face, but he is distracted by someone. That smile made you forget about your little incident in the bedroom, maybe you misread him? maybe you both can talk about it? 
“Y/N!!!” Thor yells “You look lovely. May I know where you found a such pretty dress? So, I may buy one for my Jane.” Adorable Thor always melts your heart. He is literally a kid, man child. “Thor I would love to help you, even you look dashing…” he blushes at your compliment and pouts “Thank you.”
You were smiling, when you turn your gaze back at Steve, you caught Steve's eyes. But this time he was giving you a stoic look, like he is irritated. You try to think to yourself, what made him angry?
As you were thinking, you heard your name being called. “Kid you look lovely” you turn around and saw Tony smiling at you. “Thanks Tony” you smile. “So what do you think?” He raises his brows, expecting a nice answer. “Nice party. Nothing to big and people only we know.” you smirk, making him roll his eyes at you. “Yeah you wanted nothing fancy, so your wish is my command...” he smiles and this time you roll your eyes at him.
“Just few people, only we know?” “Our mutant friends are here…” before Tony could finish rest of his sentence, bunch of drunk laughter distracted you both. Steve was one of them.
 But he can't get drunk, so that means he was drinking something else. Something special from Asgard. You had no problem with that. But the people or should you say one particular person, he was hanging with was a problem.
“You said mutant friends!” “Yes I did…” “He is not..!” “I know and I swear I did not invite him!!!” “Mutant friends means he is invited Tons!” “Shit Steve was working with Charles, he must have invited Erik.” “Steve is drinking asgardian drink with my ex Tons!” “I hate him as much as you do…” “Tons we need to stop Steve and get him the fuck away from Erik!” Tony nods and you both went to get Steve.
“Steve lets go” you hold his arm, trying to pull him away. Steve just looked at you, yanking his arm free and took another sip of his drink. This was a perfect opportunity for Erik to open his drunk mouth. “Y/n still the same. Won't let others have a good time.” he smirked, taking a sip of his own drink. “Erik still the same prick.” You roll your eyes, keeping your focus on Steve. Tony right behind you.
“You know? I can lift her without touching.” Erik smirks, talking to an almost getting drunk Steve. “No ways” Steve gasp, looking at him in awe. “Ok you need to slow down Capsicle!” Tony interrupts, trying to get things in control. “No Tony! You need to stop.” Steve whines and looks back at Erik, “Erik show us your trick...” Steve begs and Erik laughs, as he uses his mutation on your chain to lift you up in the air.
Steve and Erik just laugh. Tony was trying his best to get you down. “Say please darling…” Erik hisses, looking at you like a predator.
You close your eyes and try to ignore the joke being made out of you. Tony pushes Erik aside, causing him distraction. Making you fall on the ground. Tony helps you, to stand up and you quickly ran to the balcony.
“You drunk idiot! Can’t you see what this jerk is trying to do?” Tony yells at Steve, getting angry for insulting you. “Tony you are no fun!” Steve mumbles. “You need to apologize now!” Tony tells him, but Steve just shakes his head no and leaves. 
On the balcony, you were trying to ease your mind. Letting the cool breeze do its magic, of making you forget all that happened so far.
But guess more insults were written for you tonight. Erik came right behind you.
“Hello love.”
A chill ran down your spine, hearing his voice, calling you with the nickname, making you want to puke.
“Don't call me that.” You snap at him. “Why not, love?” he teases. “Erik please leave me alone” “Why you always prefer me near you…” he smirks getting closer.
You try to leave, but he blocks your path coming way too close to comfort. “Erik what are you doing?” “Don't tell me you don't want this? I have seen, how that guy has been treating you.” “You have known him for few days, you have no idea how he is, as a person.” You defend Steve, no matter what you both are going through at the moment, Steve has always treated you like a queen. How dare anyone assume anything bad about him?
“Just go away…mmm?” Erik brushes his lips against yours, going in for a kiss. It takes you by surprise. But you are quick to push him, giving him a tight slap. This angers Erik. He uses his mutation, to pull you off the ground, making you choke. The lock of the chain starts burning your skin, you knew it would leave a huge bruise, if you manage to survive that is.
“Erik stop I can't breathe” your voice is barely a whisper, but too drunk and angry he ignores your pleas.
Thank god, for Tony and Thor who came just in time. Thor tackles Erik to the floor, making you fall, coughing for oxygen supply. “Thor take her inside I will deal with him.” Tony tells him. Thor nods before going to pick you, but you gently tell him not to. “Thor I..I can walk..” you tell him.
He gives you a soft smile and holds your hand and your waist to support you to walk. As you both went inside, Thor makes you sit on the couch “Sit I'll get you some water…” he tells you, giving your forehead a kiss. You smile, grateful for his caring nature.
Little did you know; Steve was watching you and Thor. Since he didn’t know what has happened. He made his own calculation, based on his jealousy and drunken state. He saw the bruise on your neck. So, he adds one on one, creating an assumption of his own.
You were looking around, hoping to find Steve. As your gaze finally spot him, you saw Steve looking at you with anger. You furrow your brows in confusion, but something catches your eyes. Your gaze shifted, to the woman next to him. It was Laurie, Andy Barber’s wife, one of Tony’s attorney.
She was literally standing way to close to Steve, almost stuck like a superglue. She was flirting with him, moving her hands all over his upper body. She sees where Steve was staring. She smirks at you grabbing Steve's face as they both kiss.
Your body freezes seeing what was happening. Steve the man you love, who won't do anything bad even by mistake, was making out with someone else. You couldn’t even breathe. Like someone is drowning you in the pool. Your vision was getting blurred with tears, yet the image of them kissing was like a punch in the gut.
Thor came to you with a glass of water. As he touched your shoulder to get your attention, you broke form the frozen state. You just ran towards your bedroom, with Thor hot on his heels right behind you.
As you escape the scene, you couldn’t know what was really happening.
Truth is, Steve was slowly getting bit sober, but still drunk when Laurie grabbed his face. He did turn around to look at her, but he never intended to kiss her. She just pushed herself on Steve, making it look like the kiss was mutual and equally passionate.
Steve did push her away and looked at your direction. But by that time, you were already heading out, with Thor following behind you, making Steve angrier.
He had others thing to focus upon right now. “What the hell are you doing?” Steve yells at Laurie, she just seductively smiles at him, “Come on don't be shy you liked it...” “No I did not!”  “You were not minding me flirting with you, so what happened now? Scared of your girlfriend?” she asks in disbelief, trying to provoke him. “I was not even listening to a word you were saying, and I'm not scared of her, I love her!” It was the truth Steve was not scared of you, he was scared of losing you. He loves you a lot and he would rather die, than losing you.
“Are you kidding me?” she yells at him, feeling dejected. “No!” Steve answers, truthfully. “You are pathetic!” “Maybe, but I'm not cheating on my partner, go back to Andy please.” He pleads and Laurie scoffs, leaving him alone.
When Steve heads back to your share room, he stops in his tracks, when he sees you and Thor talking.
Thor had managed, to calm you down. Even though you didn’t tell him about Steve. You were grateful, he didn’t ask any questions.
“Are you sure you are fine?” “Yes I'm fine just tired...” “Y/n you can tell me anything, you know that right?” “Yes Thor.” you smile, happy to have a friend like him.
As Thor and you hug each other, Steve clenches his fists in rage.
“I'll see you tomorrow, good night Y/n” Thor smiles, before heading out of your room. “See you tomorrow. Don't be late, good night Thor.”
Thor leaves but stops to talk to Steve “Take care of her my friend, she is precious.” Thor winks at Steve and leaves. Steve locks the door behind him, giving you an arrogant look.
“Now Thor is going to tell me to take care of you?” “He was being nice, Steve.” “Yeah right he is always nice to you.” Steve rolls his eyes. “He is nice to everyone, what's wrong with you?” “What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you huh?” He yells on your face.
“Steve you are clearly still drunk, let's talk in the morning when you have sobered. I'm tired too.” “Of course... Thor made you tired.” He scoffs. “Excuse me? What the hell does that mean Steve?” “It is, what it exactly is Y/n! I'm not blind, I saw you two hugging every minute, that hickey on your neck, what is it huh?”
“Steve! You are crossing the limits; you are drunk let's not talk anymore.” You plead, but Steve is not in the mood to listen. “I want to talk! And what are you going to say? You can't hide what is visible to the eye...”
“How dare you assume I’m cheating on you? I love you and only you, till my very last breath! Thor was just comforting me like a friend. We did nothing wrong, behind anyone's back and as for the mark? You can thank your new friend Erik for that! And unlike you Steve I did not kiss someone else.”
“Yeah she was beautiful.” He says out loud, without even thinking, how you might feel. Your mind goes in the dark region, your insecurities tying to come out.
 You slammed the bedroom door hard and went to sleep in the lounge which was thankfully empty. You cried yourself to sleep, while the argument and drinking took a toll on Steve. He ended up sleeping in his suit, collapsing on the bed straightaway.
Part 1 - Part 3
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(Hey lovelies, comments, feedbacks and reblogs are highly appreciated. Have fun all.)
TAGLIST- @blackhawkfanatic @ordelixx @sapphirebarnes @differenttyphoonwerewolf @vicmc624
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amurih · 15 hours
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Fuck it ima put it out anyway.
COTL AU where instead of staying in the cult Narinder leaves and builds his own little plot of land that becomes a rare occurrence you find while crusading through the different biomes post game.
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Like it starts off when the lamb like spares Narinder and he’s like sent to the cult. And is in such a state of shock and bewilderment of what just happened that he doesn’t really know that the lamb is setting up their wedding until he’s at the alter. And he just SNAPS. To trade one prison for another? And to be stuck with the same being that not only took your crown, but your title as the god of death as your jailer? No thank you. Proceeds to walk out while the service is still going.
(I’m not the kind of person to think that he would be murdering or plotting to kill the lamb at every turn or possibly. No I would think that Narinder is smart enough to realize that he cannot fight the lamb in the condition that he is reduced to.)
Anyway, I want Narinder to experience life post-godhood by himself outside the cult. Maybe progressing over time you see how his plot of land develops into a pretty nice home for himself complete with a garden and an actual building/house. Not a hut, but an actual house.
All the while the lamb is going through it. It’s normal game play like one would post Narinder fight. Lore, upgrades, reviving the bishops, mystic seller, etc. All the while experiencing the highs and lows of ascension. I think the lamb would ask the other bishops once they get indoctrinated of how they went through their ascensions went. Only they would tell them that each went through theirs differently, so in the end it wasn’t really helpful.
So going through a process that you have no idea how to get through and the only person who does has fuck off into the land and hates your guts. Really fucking sucks man. So they try to “catch” Narinder while out crusading. Only they don’t find him physically, they find his place of residence while he is away.
I thought of a way to incorporate the quests that Narinder gives you when he is usually established in the cult. Could still be used: like there’s a book left on a table where you could peak in and see what’s going on with the cat that is currently away from his house.
“ I should head to Darkwoods and see if I can find more materials to build that fence and make more paper. Moving materials from one abandon home stead to this place has been challenging enough. My arms hurt after years of being bound to one position for so long...I wonder if camellias still bloom there now that Leshy is gone? If not I’ll have to develop a new alternative for this persistent strain and sharp pains I keep having. Got to get these walls up before it starts raining.”
“Bah! There’s not enough food at the last abandoned settlement let alone seeds. It’ll take long of a walk all the way to smuggler’s cove just to see if that sea louse got any thing. And it hasn’t been that long since the depletion of fish at pilgrim’s passage. I would have just stuck to what vegetables and berries I’ve got growing, but some animal or heratic keeps getting into my garden and stealing my food!when I find the person or thing that is stealing from me I’m going to make them into my fertilizer. In the meantime I should look into Anura and see if those foul mushrooms are still there. If I remember they are just as foul as Hecket when she would screamed about being hungry during dinner…Those should hold me over until I get this unwanted pest under control.”
“The wind and rain coming in through the holes on the side of the house that I use to see if any heretics come to kill me, has gotten too much. I’m tired of having to clean up the puddles of water that enters the home. And the curtains don’t do much in terms of trying to block both of these elements.That stupid squid Kallamar doesn’t need his crystals now that he’s gone. It didn’t help him when trying to hide from me. I’ll go to Anchordeep tomorrow and get some to make crystal windows. They sure would make it more beautiful than their temple…”
“Finally the loom is ready. It’s been a such a long time since I had decent robes. It’s easy to find cotton, but what I really want is a nice, soft, silk robe. One that doesn’t rub against these scars preferably. I miss the old one Shamura they made with their silk. But, that one got destroyed in the fight with that damn vessel. Maybe there is some in Silk Cradle. ”
(I’ll come back to this when I flesh it out more via work time daydreams)
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sqirtle · 16 hours
Text
Small fic based on this!
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---------
"So do you think a HUGE scissors sadness could beat a small rock sadness?"
Siffrin chuckled, but kept his gaze on the unfinished chair leg, "I think so, yeah. A strong Scissors craft done by a person can still beat a rock sadness, so it could work in a hypothetical sadness versus sadness fight, can't it?"
Bonnie hummed, "I guess so? You should try that sometime."
"Are you suggesting I go explicitly against precisely what Nille told me not to do?"
Bonnie giggled, "It's not like you don't do it anyway!"
Siffrin almost messed up their carving, "No I don't!"
"Yes you do! I know things, you know?"
Siffrin grimaced, "...how do you know?"
Bonnie laughed, loud and cheerful, "For starters, you've just confirmed it!"
Siffrin groaned.
"And also, you keep going out to 'fish', come back with no fish, and looking like you got mauled by a bear."
Siffrin gasped, "No I don't! I don't lose fights!"
"If you say so."
"I do say so."
Bonnie giggled, and Siffrin exhaled, finishing up another chair leg. He blinked, "Oh! I think I'm done with the chairs."
Bonnie turned away from the stove, "You are?"
"Yeah. I just need to make the table legs and assemble all of these, and I'll be done with Ms. Jill."
"Good," Bonnie says, "She sucks. I don't like her coming here so often."
Siffrin hummed, sanding the latest chair leg some more, "Are you almost done cooking? I can help if you're not."
They shook their head, tongue sticking out as they stirred the pan, "No, I'm neeearly done." They gently flipped the sweet potato fries, and promptly turned off the stove, "Ok, all done!"
"Did you salt the fish?"
Bonnie nodded, then the nod slowly turned into a shake of the head. "Forgot."
Siffrin laughed, and stood to ruffle their hair, "It's okay. I'll bring the salt once I set the table, then."
Bonnie pushed his hand away, sticking out their tongue, "Okay! I'll go wait for Nille outside!"
Siffrin smiled as they ran off the house, and set the table. The cute, nicely decorated fork for Bonnie, the plain darkless one for themself, and the one with the darkened handle for...
"NILLE'S HOME!" Bonnie exclaimed from the door, startling Siffrin into dropping the forks on the table, "Oops! Sorry!" They said, a nervous smile on their face.
Siffrin breathed deeply, and smiled at them both, "Hey, Peel."
Nille smirked at him, "Hey Crabfrin, did Bug here blow up the kitchen today?"
Bonnie groaned, "No!!!! I didn't!!!!!!"
"Results inconclusive. I was busy carving. The kitchen might just be gone."
"I didn't!! I didn't blow it up!!!!!"
Nille shook her head, fake remorse in her tone, "Wow, that's too bad. Guess we'll have to get a new kitchen."
Bonnie puffed out their cheeks, "Alright that's it. None of you get to eat my delicious and amazing fish and sweet potatoes."
Nille laughed, "Nooo! Buggg please let us have some!!"
Bonnie shook their head resolutely, "No. You were a crab. No food for you!"
Siffrin smiled, "What if I apologized and gave you a little kiss on the forehead?"
Bonnie paused. "..fine."
.
They sat down to eat.
Dinner was about as eventful as always, which is to say everyone spoke about what they did during the day (and when had Bonnie had time to do all that? Had Siffrin really been that immersed while carving?) and, of course, sent their compliments to the chef ("We MUST have someone else cooking here, the cooking is too good!", "Wow, you picked out all the fish bones? Thanks Bug!")
After that, Bonnie went to bed as Nille was on dishwashing duty, and Siffrin in drying.
"Did Mr. Flemming give you much trouble?" Siffrin asked, drying a fork and putting it away.
"Huh?" Nille tilted her head, passively scrubbing a plate, "Oh, nah, he was patient and all, he just had me wanting for long bouts of time in-between tasks. That's why I took so long to get home."
"Ah." She usually got home before Bonnie even started cooking, after all, "I see."
They cleaned for a few more minutes in comfortable silence.
"Oh, right." Siffrin said, "Do you want to come with me to watch a play, next weekend?"
"Sure," Nille answered easily, "What's it about?"
"I'm not sure, I think it's new? Something about a boy going inside of a book?"
"That sounds fun. Are we taking Bonnie?"
"If they wanna come!" Siffrin nodded, finishing up the last plate, "I don't think it's age restricted."
"Cool, we have a weekend plan, then!" Nille smiled, and walked out of the kitchen, "Don't forget tomorrow Bon has that playdate of theirs after school, okay?"
"Yeah, I'll pick them up." Siffrin nodded, removing his gloves and smiling at her, "Good night, Nille."
"See you tomorrow." She smiled back, and they both went to bed.
.
Sifffin sighed shakily under their cloak.
Bonnie never did go to that playdate. He refused to think about what happened to their little friend, and instead held Bonnie's hand tighter and they continued to run.
Chin up Siffrin.
Chin up.
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sombrashe · 20 hours
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i love ur blog!! it would be super cool if u did a norm x reader but the reader is like a wastelander/from the wastelands or something like that!!
content fluff, first kiss :3, both reader and norm are weird little things he's just more sexually inclined, gn!reader, chubby!reader
note(s) thank you so much for the kind words ;-; i hope you enjoy this !!
It's been three weeks since you joined the rag-tag group. Two vault dwellers, a ghoul, an ex-BOS member, and a wasterlander. Sounds like the beginning to one of The Ghoul's bad jokes. He calls them dad jokes but since over half of you didn't have a dad the idea was lost to the sand. Plopping down you go through your nearly empty pack.
"I think me and The Ghoul should go on a supply run."
Your voice rose to speak over the horrid wind pelting small clouds of sand into the side of the burnt-out husk of a house. Everyone looks you over and immediately starts speaking over each other to argue about the dangers of leaving into the storm. Raising a hand you let out a short shout to gain attention which works wonders.
"I've lived in this desert all my life I know how to keep sand away from my skin, I'll be fine. The Ghoul is pretty much unkillable. We need food. My pack is empty."
You try to sound reasonable. It's been days of your group being holed up in this shithole and honestly, you wanted out of there even for a little. As close as you have grown to each member of the group you barely have any time to yourself anymore.
"What if you get lost?"
"It's a small neighborhood, I'll be fine. I promise."
"You can't promise that and you know it."
Norm's voice chastises you despite his face hiding his true concern. You knew he just wanted what was best for you. Him being the one person you opened up to the most. His easygoing attitude and similar resting face made it nice to tell him about any worries. And you had a lot especially living on the surface. Something he was slowly becoming accustomed to.
"Why not take one of us instead?"
Lucy speaks up. Her eyes search your face, hoping you'll change your mind.
"The only one I would be willing to take is Max, but he's out of commission."
You point to his leg which sits propped on a toppled bookshelf. Trying to save Lucy from a radscorpion cost him a rolled ankle.
"The Ghoul is no-nonsense, he'll get us in and out, and if he doesn't... I'm sure youse guys can win a 4 v 1."
You give a wide smile showing them that you mean what you say. You just wanted to get this over with. You've been thinking about this for hours now. Watching as your already small assortment of supplies dwindled.
"Please, just let us go."
"Don't I get a say in this sweetheart?"
"No. You want 'ta find their dad as much as the rest of us. Not me, I'm here for all the warm company."
You roll your eyes and sling your pack over your shoulder. Norm stands just as quick nearly shoving you over in the process. You steady yourself against his bicep. Only for a second before you yank your hand back as a warm heat burns your cheeks. You walk around the room collecting anything you might need. An extra pair of pants wrap around your face. Nice and snug according to Lucy. Making eye contact with Norm you feel the need to look away. His eyes are so expressive and they're begging you to stay. You go to give him an awkward hug hoping to make the feeling in your stomach go away. He doesn't bite and gently untangles the fabric from around your jaw. Your goggles skew your peripheral but you know everyone is staring. You can't hear the mumbling as he leans forward. You can't even hear the wind whipping broken glass into the side of your hideout. You struggle to hear anything over the roaring of blood rushing to flood your head. Especially when his lips connect with yours. You lived a hard life and went through unimaginable pain, but this kiss, even for a moment, made you forget everything and everyone. His lips were so soft a stark contrast to the sharp broken skin of your own. Your hands lay limp at your side as you attempt to kiss back. This was all quite foreign to you but you wanted to make it work. Needed to make it work. Deep down.
"Come back to us. To me, please." He whispers directly against your lips.
Reaching up he ignores Lucy's inquisitive eyes as he gathers the untangled mess of denim. Slowly he affixes it back together and into a tight shield against the elements. He gives your cheek one quick squeeze through the thick layer. You thank the cover because you couldn't stand letting everyone see your grin even if Norm picked up on your eyes crinkling. Turning around you opt to look at the floor as you walk over to the strong oak door. Luckily the wood stayed mostly strong for these past 200-odd years with only a corner piece missing. Flinging the door open you call back to The Ghoul to hurry up as you disappear into the screaming darkness.
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Nu carnival x ftm period
Mentions of blood, general pain, dysphoria, and drugs
♦️Garu, Aster, Morvay
Yakumo
Boy is comforting by nature and he will do anything in his power to make you feel better. Warm soup, mint tea, any kind of comfort food; he'll make it all for you. If he needs to he will even fight the awkwardness and ask his grandma for advice on how to make “someone” on their period feel better. He knows better than to out you to anybody, even to the people he trusts most. He just wants you to feel better.
Edmond
He's going to need some help. He heard that people like chocolate when this happens so he gets you expensive chocolate confections from your favorite bakery. If he's not too busy he might make some with you. Quality time is important to him and he wants you to know he's here to support you even if he's too awkward to express it with words. He will make time to try and comfort you as much as he can but it will be in all non verbal ways.
Olivine
He will pray for your recovery. He sympathizes with you, he understands how much his essence imbalance hurts him so it makes sense that your hormone imbalance hurts you. It hurts him seeing you so uncomfortable and him not being able to help. He really doesn't want to leave you alone and it hurts him when he can't be by you to help. Even if it's simply grabbing something for you he wants to take as much of your burden as he can.
Quincy
Quincy is big and I think he's very warm too, especially his right hand because of the gem. He cuddles up to you and uses himself as a hot water bottle. Resting his hand on your stomach and letting you use him as a pillow. If you have any kind of mood shifts he takes it in stride. It kind of reminds him of dealing with a cat; wanting pets one moment and biting his hand the next. It doesn't bother him much though and it's nice having a grounding personality like his around while you wait out the pain. He probably offers some natural pain killers if it gets bad.
Kuya
He has a herb that he gives you to help. You don't know what the plant is but it helps. All the pain and discomfort are gone but it makes you feel weird in the head. You've tried finding the plant but no book or even Quincy knows what it is. Kuya just tells you not to worry about it and enjoy not being in pain. You should probably be more weary of him but the herb works so well that you can't really say no.
Blade
He freaks out when you tell him you're bleeding. He thinks you're injured and immediately goes into protection mode. You have to explain it happens to some guys monthly. That's satisfactory for his curiosity for now. It's best to just tell him what helps you manage pain. If you don't he will take the initiative to look up what will help…and he will want you to try the weirdest home remedies. So unless you want him asking you to put a frozen potato wedge cover in sesame oil in your underwear, I suggest being open with him very early. It's so hard to say no to his puppy eyes when he's just trying to help.
Garu
This gets a little weird so continue with caution. He smells it right before you start bleeding and it scares him the first time. It hurts your heart to have him look at you so worried for a week. You know he's just concerned but honestly it doesn't help the dysphoria at all.
Karu
He is confused. Normally if something is causing you pain he just breaks it. Like when you stubbed your toe on the table, no more table no more problem. However he can't just rip your guts out, that would just make more of a problem. He tends to keep his distance unless you give him a specific task, once the task is over he's going back to keeping his distance though.
Dante
He is no help. Honestly he has no idea what to do. Normally the guys he's around only bleed when they are stabbed, but at least he knows how to dress a stab wound. This however, is out of his league. When this time starts he will assign a personal assistant to you to help. They have full permission to get you literally anything you need. Dante doesn't want to know about periods and assumes you don't want anyone to know about yours either, so your assistant is also sworn to secrecy.
Rei
No help in the beginning. I don't think he's been around many AFAB people so you are going to be his first reference point. After this happens a few times though he actually figures out the best ways to help you. He will learn what makes you feel better in terms of painkillers vs muscle relaxers, he learns if any foods make you feel worse and avoids them. Yeah he treats it like an experiment but as long as it helps in the long run he doesn't think it matters. Also he memorized all the early signs and is fully prepared for when it actually starts. I'm not sure how skilled he is with a scalpel (or if you can trust him with a scalpel) but he may offer to remove the problem if you want.
Eiden
I think he's the only one on this list who truly understands how much this week triggers your dysphoria. He will do anything he can help physically, but he is also extra protective of your masculinity during this time. He will literally fight anyone who misgenders you, and makes sure to give you lots of compliments. “Y’know most guys can't handle pain as well as you do. I've even seen knights cry at the sight of a paper cut haha!” He's very proud of you and will make sure you know just how manly you are.
Aster
Also kinda nasty so read at your own risk…. “Free meal”. He uh, gets pretty excited when it happens. He tells you stuff like “you look so handsome today~” and other masc compliments but it's all a ploy to get in your pants. Honestly he's more pushy than Morvay is when you're bleeding. It's just that the constant smell of your blood is impossible for him to ignore. He helps with pain management but is really only invested in the clean up.
Morvay
He heard an orgasm helps with cramps… this is the only thing he will do to help, but being a service bottom he does it so well. He will bring you food in bed, let you eat, make you cum till you can't see straight and pass you, rinse and repeat for a week. He gets so pouty if you leave because “doctor Morvay” just wants to make you feel better.
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daughterofcain-67 · 3 days
Text
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊 (𝔭𝔱.2)
(Dean Winchester x Female Reader)
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(masterlist)
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After finding more information about the case, Sam and Dean ask Jody if there was a possibility you could be involved with this case. And when they discover you aren’t, they realize they need to keep an eye on you before you could fall to the mark’s urges.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: loosely based on season 10, mentions blood, murder, nothing too graphic this time around (NOT ACCURATE TO THE SHOW SINCE THERE ARE PLANS FOR ALTERNATE OUTCOMES)
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Dean’s arm was killing him. It was like an endless fire, relentless burning, but Dean was starting to cope a little better. At least he was able to hide it from Sam successfully so far. He said he needed the work to keep from being restless, which was mostly true, but deep down a part of it was to distract him from the mar, from you, from everything that’s happened. The vacation practically did nothing to help him as much as he wanted Sam to believe it did.
In a way, Dean was gradually beginning to feel like himself again, sure, but it was like the mark knew what was missing whether Dean wanted it or not. The fact was that even if you and Dean split, you two had a connection. And if the both of you were going to be stuck with that mark from your father, you’d have that connection until the end of time.
Sam and Dean were making their rounds through town trying to make any sort of connection to the killings at the farm, see if they had any sort of enemies with any other competing farms or if any other members of the nest made enemies outside of farming life. At the moment, Sam and Dean found themselves in a factory where one of the members named Mikey worked. They were speaking with their supervisor, Eric Raeford.
“So in the last couple of weeks that Mikey was working here, did he seem off at all? Did he act paranoid or something, any suspicions of anyone stalking him or anything like that?” Sam said while Dean took notes on a little notepad.
“No, not really. None of his coworkers seem to think so either. He seemed like just a normal guy. Gosh, I still can’t believe he was murderer like that. Do you think that family was involved in some sort of gang activity? Is it something I should be concerned about with my company?” Eric asked and Dean shook his head.
“No, I don’t think there should be any concern of your well being or that of any of these other coworkers. We’re just looking into any sort of potential connections.” Dean explained.
“Oh… I see. Well as far as I know, Mikey pretty much kept his nose clean of any problems, at least around here anyways. He always showed up to work on time, did his job the best that he could, never did anything that would cause any conflict. But he didn’t really seem to be the type of guy that would rant to any coworkers if he were going through something like this.” Eric continued.
“What about any of his family members? Have you met any of them or have there been any situations that threw up any sort of red flags?” Sam continued and Eric shook his head.
“No, not that I can think of. I didn’t know his family that well. His old man and mom that adopted him were good people, farmers. The wife made the best damn baked goods.” Eric groaned at the last part.
“Have there been any new comers in town that you’ve met recently? Anyone that claimed they were just passing through?” Dean questioned and Eric tried to search his brain for anything that seemed to stand out to him.
“You know…. I was at the bar about a week ago. There was this girl that said she was from Cincinnati taking some sort of nomadic lifestyle for a while. She seemed really nice, but she did seem to have some sort of mysterious vibe about there. And she had this funny looking mark, looked kinda tribal or something.” He said and that was when Dean looked up, brows narrowing as something troubling brewed inside him.
“Tribal mark?” Dean asked and then he started to draw the Mark of Cain before he turned the pad of paper over for Eric to take a look, “Would that be what it looked like?”
“Holy cow- yeah that’s the one! How did you know?” Eric asked, sounding amazed, while Dean had this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Just a hunch…” Dean said as he closed the notepad, tucking it in one of the hidden pockets of his suit jacket.
Sam put a hand in his pocket and pulled out this card holder before he handed one over to Eric, “If you can think of anything else you can tell us, please don’t hesitate to call us.”
“You bet. If you fellas need anything else feel free to stop by again.” Eric said, just wanting to be cooperative.
“Thanks…” And with that, the Winchesters left the factory and Dean opened the door.
When he got inside the vehicle he all but slammed the door shut behind him, “Son of a bitch…”
Sam heard the way his brother grumbled with aggravation with a hint of something else, disappointment maybe? Worry? Sam couldn't pinpoint what it was.
“Dean, you don’t think Y/N could have anything to do with this… do you?” Sam dared to ask and watched his brother grip the wheel tightly for a moment before he turned the engine on.
“Dean?”
“I don’t know, Sam. I really hope not.” Dean said before he pulled out and onto the highway, then Sam continued on.
“What if it is her? What are we going to have to do? If we kill her she’ll just turn into a demon again, sort of like when you died and came back. What the hell happened between you two that made her leave?” Sam questioned, practically interrogating his brother at this point.
“Why do you make it sound like something bad happened? After we both became human it was a mutual decision that she go her own way. I didn’t want her to go, Hell I wish she stayed so you and even Cass can monitor us so neither of us go dark side.” Dean replied.
“Dark side? That’s what you’re calling it?”
“You got a better name for it?”
Sam’s brows narrowed as he rolled his eyes before he looked out of the passenger window, “Are you ever going to talk about what happened? You both seemed to hit it off okay at least near the end.”
“It didn’t work out, alright? Can you drop it please?” Dean snapped, getting agitated with Sam lingering on the way you and him ended things.
After all, in the end things really were mutual. Dean still felt like shit for the things he said to you. And he wished that those three months with you were better than they were, then again demons weren’t exactly known for their redeeming qualities. You may have said there was nothing solid for the two of you to really learn anything abut each other, but Dean was bitter knowing that you seemed like you didn’t even want to give it a chance. Then he remembered one of the last things you said to him, something about you holding up your end when it came to helping him.
“She said she had to go find a way to help me with this blasted mark, whatever the Hell that means.” Dean grumbled.
Sam listened and he thought about the book you told him abut. We’re you looking for it while you were out who knows where doing who knows what? Then he thought about Jody, recalling her opinion about finding you again. If the mark started to effect Dean again, he didn’t deserve to go through it with people who didn’t even know what it was like. Only you’d know what he was going through, so maybe Dean wouldn’t feel so alone.
“Well… if she didn’t have anything to do with the massacre… I think we should consider looking for her.” Sam finally spoke up.
Dean was quiet and focused on the road.
“Think about it, Dean. If she was trying to help you out, what better recourses our out there than what we’ve got in the bunker? If we can track her down and figure out where she’s headed maybe we can convince her to stay.” Sam continued as if convincing Dean as best as he could.
“And what would our excuse be, huh? If she didn’t have anything to do with this case then how are we supposed to convince her to come with us?”
“Come on, man… Stop acting like an idiot. Just because things may have fallen through for you two doesn’t mean she can’t be an ally. If anything, I know you need her around even though you’re claiming not to want to think about her that much. With the way the mark affected you before when you didn’t kill, you may need Y/N for your physical health one of these days.”
The more Sam seemed to talk about you, the more Dean’s arm began to throb under the sleeve of his suit jacket.
“Can we just focus on this case first with Jody before we go searching for her again? We can’t just leave her hanging if this is really our thing after all. If it turns out not to be our thing then we’ll figure it out from there.”
Sam noticed the way Dean seemed to speak through gritted teeth, which caused him to arch a brow upward.
“Are you alright?”
“Never better.” Dean replied just as he pulled up to the police station so they could talk to the sheriff.
When the two federal impersonators made it into the building, one of the officers took them to Jody’s office where she was sitting at her desk in front of her computer. She seemed to be going through some files before she looked up when the door opened, Sam and Dean saw a smile light up her face when she saw the two boys.
“Hey, you two. Any luck so far?” She inquired.
“Well… yes and no.” Sam began.
“We got in touch with Mikey’s boss, Eric Raeford. He said that he was at the bar one night and he met someone that was just passing though. Are you sure you can’t recall anybody coming into town?” Dean asked.
“Dean, kiddo, I’m a busy woman. I seldom get to people inspect if they’re new. That’s why I told you I couldn’t recall a newcomers yesterday when the two of you dropped by.” She reminded.
“Well.. could you maybe do us a favor then and see if this girl has dropped by here via train or something? Just any way to see if she’s been around or not.” Dean said, pulling out his phone to find a picture of you. When he did, he handed the device to Jody who took the phone and gazed at the photo, raising a brow.
“Her name would be…?”
“Y/N… Y/N L/N.”
“You mean-“ Jody looked over at Sam who had a hand behind his neck and an uncomfortable expression on his face.
“Yeah let me see what I can do. She doesn’t look familiar right off hand. You don’t think she did it do you?” She asked and started typing your name in her computer.
“We’re just trying to find where she is. Maybe she could even help us on a case like this, maybe find out what kind of enemies your vamps had in this case or maybe she can help find the killer. Have you heard anything about witnesses?” Dean questioned.
“Well, the only witness I’ve got was actually a member of the rival farm. His name’s James, said he saw a figure wearing all black. Seemed to be more on the feminine side.” Jody said as she continued typing and she found you.
“Y/N L/N…. Tattoo artist based in Cincinnati. Based on her drivers license, she’s too tall to be our perp. Let me see if there’s any record of her leaving or coming here on some form of transportation. See if her alibi checks out.”
“You can do that?” Sam asked, unaware that Jody had footage of some kind of transportation in the first place.
“Well I had asked for it shortly after I called you boys. Wasn’t sure if a hunter would try the rail roads but figured I’d give it some sort of shot.”
Sam looked up at Dean and he tried to think of how he wanted to formulate his next thought on his mind, “What if we called Cass? Maybe he can help track her down. Or… I hate to say it but I think it would be a lot quicker if-“
“Crowley is off the table. We don’t have a use for him. He’s got the blade, probably trying to keep tabs on Cass, no. It’s just a bad idea.” Dean interjected, immediately shutting down the idea.
“Well whatever you two decide to do and whoever you decide to reach out to, the record I’m finding says she was on her way to Minnesota. If you two rush out of here then she may still be there.” Jody looked up at both the hunters.
“What do you two intend to do if her alibi checks out?” The sheriff asks and Sam shrugged a little.
“I figure maybe she could help us out with your case.” He said and Jody looked back at her computer screen.
“Frankly boys, I’m not so sure if this is a hunter or not. I don’t think it’s a monster though. I’m beginning to think I may have to call the actual feds for this one. Maybe they have this person’s files in AFIS or some of their other departments.” Jody said as she pulled up what she could about the train station.
“From what I can tell, Y/N’s alibi does check out, she arrived after the time of the killings.” She continued.
Dean heard the words and he couldn’t help but feel relieved when Jody said you weren’t here for the murder. He hated that even the slightest bit of doubt about you crept in, but in his mind the concerned seemed at least reasonable.
“Well that at least settles the matter of whether or not she was involved, but now it’s a matter of where she could be heading to next. Which I highly doubt she told anybody where she���s going. Dean, I really think we need to call someone.” Sam looked over at Dean.
“Actually… before we do anything rash, I think we need to talk to Eric again, or at least go to the bar. See if the bartender had any reactions with Y/N. Maybe she may have tossed around some ideas of where she’d go next, where in Minnesota if we’re lucky.” Dean replied then he looked over at Jody.
“And if you need anything, call us as soon as you need us. Whether you call the actual feds for your case or not, we’ll come right back here if anything goes wrong.” He said and Jody grinned.
“There’s a reason I’ve got you two on speed dial. By the way, the bar most frequented around here is Blackbird Ale. Ask for Chris.” She insisted, Dean grinned a little.
“Let’s head out Sammy, see what we and find. See you around Jody.”
With that, the two boys made there way out of the office so they could make it to the bar Jodi said to try first. It was worth a shot to try and find you.
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Crowley was sitting upon his throne in Hell and he had a very old looking paper in his hand, sort of an agenda his underlings created for him when he was on his sabbatical. Yet he had his head in one of his hands, so disinterested in everything.
He recalled the day one of his demons had their little outburst, questioning the way he proceeded to rule since he went gallivanting around with the elder Winchester and yourself.
He couldn’t help but reminisce upon those times. Despite Dean such a pain in his royal behind, it was a fairly good time. You were much moor cooperative, someone that was able to keep Dean in line until you all seemed to have a falling out.
Crowley hated to admit it but he was beginning to miss the little band from hell. He missed how good of a ring it had to it, the King of Hell, with a Winchester turned Demon and the Daughter of Cain and Abbadon herself.
The three of you would have created the perfect Hell, it would be at its peak since Lucifer himself ruled, which it’s been centuries since people actually feared such a place as Hell. There must’ve been a way to bring it back to its former glory.
“Your greatness?” A timid sounding demon asked and Crowley blinked once or twice before he shifted his gaze up from the disinteresting and dull page to who had the audacity to wreck his train of thought.
“What is it now? Did you run out of souls to torment?” Crowley asked bitterly.
“I just.. wanted to inform you about an update.” The scrawny little demon said and Crowley arched a brow.
“Well? Spit it out. I have more important things to do rather than sit here and play these pathetic guessing games?”
“I-It’s about Cain’s offspring. W-we’ve located her and.. Sir, she’s human.” This seemed to peak Crowley’s interest and he set the paper down on the pile of boring papers beside his throne.
“Tell me more.” He said as he leaned forward.
“W-Well, we aren’t sure when she became human but we have reason to believe after your falling out with the older Winchester and once he became human, she may have been taken to the bunker and they may have turned her as well. We don’t know for sure of the situation leading up to that, but we have reason to believe she is somewhere in Minnesota.”
“Is that so.. And tell me, how did you come to find that out?”
“One of the crossroads demons. They said they caught a glimpse of her last night running away from Saint Paul’s Minnesota with blood on her clothes and hands. When the demon investigated where she was running from, it seemed like she had taken a life.”
Crowley lifted a brow slightly, that didn’t sound like you. After so long of hiding, it didn’t sound right that your first instinct would be to kill without at least a plan, you didn’t seem the reckless type. When it came to these things, not with all your centuries of training and your upbringing from Abbadon.
“Human life?” Crowley inquired.
“No, Sir. Seemed to be just another beastly creature a hunter would come after. We have reason to believe it was what they call a werewolf.”
“Tell me, where is she now?”
“We have reason to believe she is traveling on foot so she may still be just outside of Saint Paul’s Minnesota, we aren’t sure where she is heading next. Would you like to have one of us to track her down and have her followed to keep tabs on her?” The demon asked and Crowley shook his head.
“No. The moment she find out any of us demons are onto her, she’d kill any of us. Just because she is no longer a demon herself doesn’t mean not make her any less of a skilled murderer.” Crowley replied as he rubbed his hand over the lower half of his face, contemplating on what his move should be.
“What will you have us do then, Sir?”
Crowley went quiet as he began to formulate some sort of plan.
“If I may, Sir…” Another demon spoke up, one of Crowley’s advisors and Crowley looked over.
“From what I’m understanding according to a report from a demon close to Sioux Falls, the Winchesters are about to look for Y/N…. It seems they want to monitor her… humanity. Her well being. They may try to diminish her.. talents for lack of a better word.” Crowley lifted a brow.
“And we all know dear Sam wants his brother to lose the mark, if Y/N loses it too then all of our chances of restoring Hell back to what it once was, we must reach out to Y/N before the Winchesters do. They’ve speculated her to be the culprit of a mass killing of vampires, which is why they want to keep her under their radar. It’s only a matter of time before they catch up to her and try and convince her to stay on their good terms, maybe even convince her to be rid the mark as well.”
“It’s a little too soon for them to think her guilty of such ability isn’t it? They could be correct though given her history.” Crowley said.
“Sire, if they convince Y/N to remove the mark, if there’s even a way to do so, it will ruin all of our chances of rising up from this slump you’ve been working so hard to bring us from.”
“We could recreate the Knights of Hell… she would be the general of my army. We could reap so many souls as more demons the human’s contracts come to a close. Maybe even beyond.” Crowley agreed before he looked back at the scrawny demon.
“You keep tabs on the Winchesters, continue to keep tabs on their angel friend Castiel. You know how often they come to him when they’ve lost something like irresponsible children.” Crowley ordered.
“And what of Y/N, Your Majesty?”
“Leave her to me. She may need a visit from an old friend. It’s not easy being human after all and she may even want to come back to her roots - just for some clarity if nothing else.” Crowley said as he stood up.
When Crowley lifted up his hands, he snapped and within an instant, he was gone.
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You found yourself roaming around the woods, still in Minnesota but you weren’t sure if you were in the same city or town anymore since you were pretty much avoiding all highways to avoid being seen any anyone. You supposed the one thing you could have said you missed about being a demon was the fact that transportation was a lot easier than traveling on foot.
Then you started thinking about the werewolf you killed last night, the feelings you had with it… was this how Dean felt when he went on his hunts?
Dean.
The very thought of him made the mark on your arm ignite all over agiain. The longer you were away from him, it seemed to get so much worse. Yet the first moment you became human and Dean was right there, it was like there was a sense of calm.
But you remembered it was you who made the ultimate decision to leave. And honestly you were starting to regret it, especially because deep down you knew you wanted to stay. But there was no way Dean would let you come back to the bunker right? Maybe not this soon. What if you made a mistake leaving?
Your mind went back to Dean again. You couldn’t believe he kissed you that night! Why was that such a bittersweet moment? And why did you feel so many things when it came down to that moment? Why didn’t you just stay?
Your mark started to burn again and you looked down at it. You knew you needed to help Sam and Dean. You told Sam to look into the Book of the Damned, and you would be on the lookout for it too. You needed to find where it was and soon so Dean wouldn’t have to go through baring this curse.
But what if you couldn’t find the book? What if thee really was no way out for this for Dean? What if there was no way out for him and he’d be miserable forever? And why were you beginning to feel like it was your fault when you weren’t even there when he accepted the mark from Cain in the first place?
“Ugh…” You groaned to yourself, frustrated with your own mind. You didn’t know humans could overthink so much, and you weren’t even sure if this amount of thinking was justified for anything!
Six weeks in and you were already finding out quickly what the human brain was like and how so many emotions could bubble up all at once, making you so unsure about so many things. And a part of you that had so much doubt about who you were and what you were trying to avoid, was even beginning to doubt your own abilities of finding the book that would even help Dean.
You understood that The Book of the Damned was cursed, about as cursed as your heirloom. You also knew it was sort of a legend at this point in time and a part of you wasn’t even sure if such a thing really existed anymore.
The truth was, you weren’t even sure where you should look. Maybe someone from Hell had it in their grasp once more, maybe a witch got a hold of it because there was a lot of dark magic involved with it. No one had seen or heard about it in centuries, maybe even millennia, so who knew where it could be found.
Your jaw tightened with the frustration you were feeling and you ran a hand through your hair.
You had your fun exploring, being a little nomad. You experienced human things during those six weeks, but now you knew that if were ever going to be useful to the Winchesters, you needed to buckle down. For Dean’s sake.
“Maybe I need to find a highway.” You muttered to yourself to no one in particular, specifically since no one was around.
Then, this sudden wave of nausea began to hit you. You asked over to one of the trees and placed a hand on it to try and steady yourself. Your mind started flooding right back to last knight when you had your first kill in weeks. You knew in that moment exactly what was happening to you.
Your mark wanted you to kill again. It was like it wanted, craved it more than life itself. Now that you were human, the feeling was physically beginning to overwhelm you. And this is the first time you were beginning to feel nauseated, but you knew it would only get worse. At least you weren’t at the point of withdrawals as you witnessed Dean go through before he became a demon. Though you knew that experience would be grotesque and hellish when you experienced it.
A part of being human, though, was learning how to resist. You had to fight back. Being around the Winchesters taught you that, so you needed to learn from them. You couldn’t kill anymore, even if the werewolf was a monster.
You were scared that one day it would be a human life you’d take. You didn’t want that on your shoulders, not when you were trying to be a new person, not when you were trying to escape the monster you were in the past.
You pushed yourself off the tree as you gathered your composure again and tried to return to your train of thought, one of many yes but you went to your main one before the nausea hit.
“Main road… Look for a way out of state… Buckle down on research for the-“
“Hello, Chipmunk.”
You could have recognized that accent anywhere and you turned around, glaring at Crowley after he called you that name.
“Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?” You said and Crowley simply shrugged, “What is it that you want now?”
“Just checking on an old friend.” Crowley said and you weren’t exactly convinced.
“Last time I checked were weren’t exactly on the friendliest terms.” You retorted and Crowley let out a low hum.
“Well, from my understanding, you aren’t exactly on the best of terms with the Winchesters. Heard you were human now and.. well I can definitely sense some sort of shift from you.” He said and you lifted a brow.
“I don’t need a wellness check, Crowley. Becoming a human was my choice and I left the bunker on my own accord.”
“And how’s the mark holding up? Either it’s beginning not to treat you so well or you’re starting to become one of those tree huggers seeing as you were practically clinging on that tree next to you.” He replied and you went silent for a moment.
“Now.. tell me why you became human. What on earth possessed you to do something like that?” He asked as he walked over with interest in his voice and you rolled your eyes.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I was curious. After all, you and every other demon have been human once. I just wanted to experience it before I end up dying and going back to being a demon once more with this blasted thing.” You said and Crowley lifted a brow.
“So… you’re learning to resent your birthright?”
“More like resent this curse of an heirloom. But I’d rather it be me that bore it rather than anyone else. No one knows where Cain is ever since you and Dean blew his cover.” You said.
“I see.”
“Why are you really here, Crowley. I doubt you really want a status update on my human condition.” You said and put a hand on your hip, displaying your impatience.
“I just want to extend an offer. I know you originally went into hiding from Hell to avoid your mother dragging you back, wanting to escape everything and test. Out your father’s lifestyle. But should the situation arise that you need to return to Hell…Give me a call.” Crowley said and you became skeptical.
“What’s the catch?”
“None as of yet. But you should reconsider becoming the new leader of the Knights of Hell. I know you don’t want to be a killer for as long as you possibly can, but yo cannot deny what is in your blood. You’re talented, strategic, and Hell’s army needs someone like you to keep them in line.” Crowley reminded you and you glared.
“I refuse to take up that mantle. The Knights of Hell are all dead anyway.”
“No, but you could train up an army of your own. Turn even the weakest demons into the strongest soldiers under your training, they’d all be under your command and you’d have a place of power, second only to me.” Crowley said.
“Crowley, I think you’re failing to realize that I don’t crave power. I’m not like you, I don’t need to be in a position of leadership, and I never wanted it.” You stated and Crowley hummed a little.
“Again, it’s simply an offer. A place for you to go if you find yourself in a less than ideal situation. You know who you were meant to be deep down. That position will always be yours should you decide to claim it as you should.” Crowley said.
“The Winchesters wouldn’t be at all surprised if you claimed that role.”
You looked at him and stepped forward, brows narrowing, “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. All I’m speculating is that if I were in their shoes and you were so new to being human, which you are, they wouldn’t be surprised if you slipped up one day. And from the looks of it, you’ve already given the mark a taste of what it craves most.” Crowley motioned to the blow on your clothes you couldn’t wash off.
“Let me handle that for you.” He insisted and with the snap of Crowley’s fingers, you looked down and saw your clothes were almost brand new, as if last night had never even occurred.
“They wouldn’t be so cruel as to make those kinds of assumptions.” You said, not wanting to believe Crowley, knowing his kind spoke practically nothing but lies most of the time.
“That’s what humans do, Y/N, Darling. They assume, they overthink, they judge prematurely. The human world is ugly. Why do you think demons prefer their new life after death? They become free from caring of others opinions and their assumptions of them. It’s easier to live without human insecurity.” He reminded you, and you supposed that was one part of your old life you missed.
“That’s my discovery to make, Crowley. And the day I become a demon again because of this mark, I’ll have learned all I needed to about being human. But until then, this is my life and my experiences. Let me learn them on my own terms.” You said and Crowley lifted his arms up in surrender.
“Very well. Just know that if you end up having enough of humans sooner than you think, you’ve got somewhere to go.” Crowley said and he started to walk off.
Then while Crowley was facing away from you, his eyes turned red as if her were getting in contact with his demons in Hell, “Monitor her. Give me frequent reports on both her and the Winchesters.”
Who knew…. Maybe either outcome could lead to his advantage. One must learn both sides in order to play the game properly after all.
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mattodore · 6 months
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this is what i do when i'm having bad days 🤺
#river dipping#mattodore as a coping mechanism 🧘#i'm actually having a better day than yesterday i'm just grumpy atm from lack of sleep 🚆🚶#i stayed up last night watching old jerma streams yk how it is#made a character page yesterday but i’m not sure if i want to keep it… the character pics are TEMPORARY!!! btw.#i gotta take new plain bg cas pics for it but i was thinking abt making my own cas poses first 🤔#finally went back to finish writing the [redacted] scene with mattodore#have been super slowly adding more aesthetically pleasing images to theo’s text heavy board 🚬#also this picrew having a blue and red background option 😋#anyway… that’s my little update 🫡#i’m going to make theo’s custom beauty marks today and then i’ll get in blender to make this mattodore pose that is.#just. dog motif. you know. you understand the dynamics i don’t need to say anything else.#i’d show it off but for some reason matthias’s ripped sims all are missing his teeth cc…? so. can’t. the teeth are important to the pose ☝️#i’ll share pics when i actually go in-game later#‘later’ <- when i feel like turning on my desktop#i should do it soon tho that way i can slap new pics onto that oc page and see if i like it or not#i decided to try it out since it’s mobile friendly like my actual blog theme#like if you open up a browser on your phone and type in my blog or this character page’s url they both look nice !#i hunted for my blog theme for agesss but i found this character page pretty fast#it’s nice… it’s relatively simple looking (the code isn’t tho lmao) which i like. sometimes character pages are just. a lot.#and i think i prefer simple over complicated atp
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jils-things · 4 months
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memoryshipping x studio ghibli: the masterpost ✨✨
see them separately: (x) (x) (x)
no need to rb!
#damn dude... what a movie does to a selfshipper....#im very proud of these - because i figured out a nice filter for these edits#for those who're curious - i used gaussian blur + bloom + faded frame or whatever it was called in ibispaint and ofc the vhs effect#and i totally intended to make the VHS effect a combo of purple and green since it was an option available AHEHEHEH#i honestly... really like how i drew stevens back view 🥺🥺🥺🥺 like it looks so.#attractive?????? is that the right word? it just looks really nice to look at from behind#i tried to make sense with his hair and i think it worked well here#jaides hair is so POOFY AAAHJCCKCK shes so pretty 💚💚💚💚💚#okay guys who wants the air walk raise your hand SLASH J SLASH J DON'T ACTUALLY PLEASE#I AIN'T DOING AN AU HERE BECAUSE YOURE BASICALLY SAYING YES JAIDE SHOULD BE A GRANDMA AKSKDJSBDHJSJDJSJSJS#yk im so tempted to do a little... directors cut here but itll be so LONG 😭#i literally havent seen this movie in ages i only saw it once but my sister is such a big fan of the movie and she checks it often LOL#but now after watching it again recently im like#alright i kinda get thr appeal now AJSHSHAJSBSHS#tho i regularly listen to the ost (THE OST IS LITERALLY ON THE STEVAIDE PLAYLIST AND NOW IT HAS MORE IMPACT ON ME LMFOAJDHSHA)#i know i keep saying this. but. howlsophie = stevaide ufghgg 😭😭😭😭 i never saw this coming#WEEEGHH IM TRYING TO PUT IN ALL MY THOUGHTS HERE BUT I CANT REMEMBER#IM ALREADY DOING A DIRECTORS CUT AKAKSKSJSJSJSJAJ#YEAH ANYWAYS YAY MEMORYYYYY#♥️ memoryshipping#~ art
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