#like i know shipping doesnt have to have basis in canon but god. i dont care. i don't care.

[daedalusdavinci]

i know you didn't intend this, but your fic new growth made me lowkey ship harvey and talia and now i'm a little hurt no one else has written any kind of dynamic for them

thats hilarious. i love doing that to people im ngl. im also shocked no ones written anything! i mean theyre two of bruces most iconic exes, and people write bruces exes hooking up w each other all the time. plus, there is a SLIGHT basis for it in canon (which is more than exists for harv n clark, but theyve got fics). i honestly think it has to do w the fact that the dent system just... doesnt fucking have a lot of fics to begin w (im p sure theyre written as villains in other ppls stories usually), and while i havent checked the bruce n talia tag, im certain its in a sorry state just based off of other fics ive seen w her. ppl r not kind to talia in this fandom (and we know whose fault that is!) and the dent system is. woo. thats a whole other conversation

but! i must enable you anon.

we know that in canon, harvey and 2f are both demonstrated to have a thing for women that can kick their asses. they are. fucking hilarious abt this, actually. im not going to touch on the renee thing at all bc ive never read any of those comics but their reaction to manhunter (probably 2f?) makes me fucking laugh. she nearly kills them and theyre like damn is she single? lol. get a GRIP pLS 😭 and the fact that harvey does actually hit on talia once while she goes turncoat on the rogues and manages to evade every single one of them? you know they like her. if nothing else, they have to respect her. its harder for me to speak to whether or not talia would like them, but harvey and bruce are parallels in a lot of ways, and she has a much greyer sense of morality than bruce, so do that w that

i also just have to say i love the potential of their dynamic purely as like. this is a person bruce has loved and been changed by and i have to find respect and appreciation for what they meant to him. i think they have a lot of potential as good friends in aus where the system is a little more morally gray or trying to recover, and ive always believed that most good friendships in fiction can be improved w a little flirting. and i definitely think the system would flirt. bc harvey and 2f are. insufferable actually, oh my god. i dont think i acknowledge that in fics nearly enuff bc its bruce and bruce is Bruce and so its different bc hes Too Valuable to lose but they are actually kind of obnoxious flirts im ngl to u??? why are they like this.

im not sure where im going w this but lol its early here

#asks #you might b interested to know im gonna b revisiting their friendship w talia in the last fic #its not new growth and its 2f instead of harvey but she does feature #sort of a check in on how things have evolved w them

[puppygirldanhowell]

ok so ik i dont need to dignify this person with a response, considering theyre possibly just a troll and definitely just a dick, but i love good ole stupid ass internet arguments (and the excuse to talk about REN) sooo. yeag

for context, this is the comment theyre replying to:

ANYWAYS

ok immediately, no one claimed noremma stans are evil? she didnt even mention them or fandom at All, if youre refering to me. i definitely didnt either so?? immediately jumping the gun there. secondly, yeah the author has claimed he prefers to see them All (norman and emma included) as siblings/friends/etc. this was just like? fun conversation?? no one here claims to know them better than the author, and liking a certain ship that isnt as close to canon as possible is not immoral

1. i mean- yeah. if we're basing it Strictly on canon, none of them are together, and the only Hint at romantic feelings is norman towards emma. 2. do you have like.. basis for that claim? im pretty sure it just comes from people like.. liking that ship? maybe im just crazy tho

BAHSHSISGDKEHD. babe.... i cant speak for everyone but my paranoia is not wasting its time on *drawings* or how often they kiss. also that is like. insanely polyphobic and a super disingenuous way to look at it. if we're talking explicitly about my post and rosalies comment, No One said he is owed or thinks hes owed that? in fact she Explicitly said the opposite. once again i cant speak for everyone blah blah but its less of like. an entitlement and more of just- id prefer to see them All together. the way i read their relationship is just fundamentally different than you, clearly. doesnt make either of us wrong

mmmm fuck you lol. thats a really shitty thing to say and, once again, we are talking about drawings. its not that serious

again.. it feels like youre just pulling these accusations from the sky. i dont exactly know what is the most normal amount of interest to have in a person generally, so my bad if i made it seem like i think thats all his character is, but i dont really feel like i did? i dunno. ray is SUCH an interesting and cool character that i love for sooo many reasons, but its just. inacurate to act like emma and norman are not important to him. especially in the escape arc, we come to learn that they were more or less his reason for living. yes, he wanted to save all of his family, but he couldnt, so he focused on them. thats just the facts. people interpretting the why he focused on them differently than you is not a bad thing. its all up to interpretation. i could give you plenty of "evidence" that he loves them, just like you could give me plenty of "evidence" he doesnt at all, because its a *story.* at the end of the day we're all gonna look at it our own way.

once again youre being needlessly antagonistic. we are talking about fucking drawingssss dear god above

#this is so weird i feel like a defense lawyer except im talking about DRAWINGS!!!! THEYRE JUST DRAWINGS IT DOESNT MATTER OH MY GOD!!!!!!! #ash is mentally ill #tpn fandom salt #arguing #also i did try to @ them but it literally would not come up so #sorry for being cringe on main mutuals

[rukafais]

skamimikyu replied to your post: i’m a cranky old man and i don’t venture into...

THANK YOU oh my GOD! i thought i was the only one who was massively uncomfortable with the ship -_-

quite frankly i’d prefer it didn’t exist but since people do what they want it’s going to exist anyway so as long as people tag it correctly so i can just fucking ignore it that’s for the best

but i’m a tad discomforted with the idea of shipping someone who barely knows how to be a person with an angry light god that has no interest in being a person and also throws them around like a puppet for her own ends, canonically

#skamimikyu #like i know shipping doesnt have to have basis in canon but god. i dont care. i don't care.

[catboyithaqua]

Ramuda and Doppo :0

OH MY BOYS LETS GO

Under a cut bc long

Ramuda Amemura

First impression

Baby boy baby. Very cute and sweet i love characters with ramudas aesthetic i tend to want to protect them, especially since its an aesthetic that i fall into myself and lo v e so kseidjsnfn YEAH this man is baby!!!

Impression now

Ohhh my god i love this man i love the way he is characterised he is so incredibly interesting as a character and tbh so realistic and honestly i adore him!!! I alarmingly see a lot of myself in him tbh, were incredibly similar and that isnt necessarily a good thing!! But still i love this man

Favorite moment

Oh man where tf do i BEGIN there are so many ngl, but mostly all of the moments where we see ramuda's humanity. There is still a sweetness left under the darkness, there is still a man who wants to cling onto everything he has - his emotion, his internal battles, his morality vs his desperate need to survive - oh fucking man so much.

Idea for a story

CAN WE FUCKING. HAVE RAMUDA TALK HIS SHIT OUT PLEASE can we just have others actively helping ramuda cAN THIS MAN PLEASE BE SHOWN THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR HIM,,, PLEASE,, i just want ramuda to finally talk out everything and have people on his side. Please.

Unpopular opinion

This probs isnt unpopular by any means, but idk what else to put here so take this:

I dont really see it often discussed that yknow ramuda is an abuse victim. Like, its very clear that chuokhu uses and abuses him, and his life is constantly being hung over his head. No wonder the dude is doing anything he can in order to survive, he has no choice in that regard. Before i get told this in the notes yes i know this doesnt excuse the things hes done!!! But tbh i really think that like the trauma that ramuda is living with kinda needs to be addressed.

Favorite relationship

I am a huge multishipper and have found a way to ship ramuda w just about most people (that are adults and not in chuokhu lol) so this is pretty tough

Id say either fling poly or jkrm and these are my reasons lets go:

Fling poly: HAVE YOU S E E N THEM do i really need to say more here all three of them have such good chemistry together, theyre all clearly on the same wavelength and have such a wonderful dynamic,,, they found out about the clones and shit and they STILL chose to protect ramuda and to fight for him and with him and to stay by his side aND BLACK JOURNEY TOO I-- IM GONNA START SOBBING,,,

Jakuramu: this one is not based on canon too much i am sorry this is mostly hc but i am a huge sucker for enemies to lovers ok also, i feel like out of TDD these two would be the ones to reconcile. After all, jakurai is a rather empathetic man and he probably would def understand the situation that ramuda was in. After all this dude was an ex assassin, if ramuda was to tell him everything, im sure that he would be able to relate to yknow the time he took others' lives, people with families and friends that he killed because he was ordered to and most likely had no other choice. Of course, jakurai is well within his right to not forgive ramuda for what happened to yotsutsuji, but i feel like he would and would help him get out of the situation hes in,,, and also im soft for the TDD era ok like how jakurai WANTED TO KNOW THE REAL RAMUDA AND LIKE,,, even when ramuda snapped at him he was GLAD HE WANTSD TO KNOW HIM FUCK MAN,,, i just really like these two ok

Favorite headcanon

I have quite a lot of hcs! Here are a few and like some explanation as to why:

- hes trans - i personally believe this bc personally itd make sense. Ramuda has a very feminine appearance and build, those that are like typically common in asian countries. As well as that, he has his own autonomy unlike the other clones. It wouldnt surprise me if chuokhu orignally wanted to make a girl to keep the other divisions in check, but when he decided personally that he didnt want to be such a way, they said sure, more room for us to treat you as we want to. Hes got money, getting T wouldnt be that difficult for him either, so thats why his voice is. That way fiaudjsnfnd anyway i think it makes sense!! Idk--

- he has bpd - projection probably but the biggest inspiration for this headcanon is how he is emotionally. His swings are violent - he feels and expresses such a diverse range of emotions and its so easy for him to change his emotional disposition - whilst also mostly feeling totally empty. Relationship wise also, given how he was genuinely really close to jakurai and then completely splitting on him, h a t i n g him. Yeah that sounds like bpd to me chief i know i have it!!! Theres more ik there is but i cant pull up examples rn

- hes neurodivergent - again mostly projection honestly and like there isnt much of a canon basis in his behaviour, just little things, but i like to personally hc that aside from eating candy to stay alive duh, that he chooses lollipops bc they serve as a sort of stim?? Also ik that fashion is his job but hes also so so clearly passionate about it that its a special interest for him, and thats partially why he took it up as a job in the first place, so he could do something related to his special interest lol. Idk i know there isnt any basis for this but just let me have autistic ramuda iaiesjdnsnfn

Doppo Kanonzaka

First impression

Now THATS what i call a tired mf!!! This dude has yves saint laurent eyebags also he really reminds me of aggretsuko somehow??? Im really not sure what it is

Impression now

Yeah i was def right with the aggretsuko comparison siaishsnshfb BUT I LOVEEE HIM i love him very much and i think this man really needs a break and is also very relateable i love

Favorite moment

As much as i love fp i absolutely adore the badass koments that doppo has including when he absolutely fucking obliterated fling posse sksjxnxncn also!! All of his little moments with hifumi i genuinely enjoy their dynamic its so cute

Idea for a story

Honestly i wanna see him slowly recover from the teauma that he has experienced because this king absolutely deserves it, and also from a practical point of view itd make this mf s t r o n g e r i also just.... long to see doppo happy honestly he deserves to smile!!

Unpopular opinion

I dont really have an unpopular opinion but saving like leaving this blank: as much as i absolutely adore jakurai and hifumi and their music (jakurai is my fave out of every hypmic character and i WILL drive this home), to me doppo just has the best music. Like, i love tigridia and BLACK OR WHITE so fucking much its absolutely unreal and all of doppos verses in every song are juust so fucking good. As much as i listen to you are, therefore i am on repeat every day of my life doppos music is just the best ✨

Favorite relationship

Again i am a huge multishipping bitch and i habe a few ships with doppo but in ahll honesty my fave is very clear - i absolutely adore his dynamic with matenrou as a whole and especially hifumi - his relationship with hifumi is clearly so special and it really shows how strong their friendship is, and in a ship sense i find it to be realy cute bc theres such a clear need for each other and that even if they clearly come at odds sometimes, at the end of the days theyre still clearly so close and i just,,, god doppo reallt deserves someone like hifumi in his life and im so glad that he has it!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Honestly i dont really think i have too many for doppo but given his general demeanor and his attitude, i personally hc him as demi. Yeah i know that sexualities dont have like typical personalities and such but i feel like given his anxieties around new people and how he clearly only really sticks to those that hes very close with, it makes more sense for him to be demi than any other sexuality to be quite honest - and this is also just pushing my hifudo agenda aiqiauansnssn but yknow!!!!

#im sorry this took me so long thanks for the ask!!! #hypmic

[captainshyguy]

The Hollow Knight for the ask thing? 👁️

ooo tysm!! :’D 

How I feel about this character: 

Hollow!! Aw I love them very much, they’re that character that just, holds such a degree of tragedy to them that makes me sad, like, yes they weren’t thrown in a horrible dark pit to die, but they were sealed in a horrible dark egg to keep a god inside them yknow? I think any interpretation for them holds that sadness, they were hollow right up until the end, they were always not hollow and had to mask it, they were hollow until they were sealed away for so long and started thinking about things, etc 

That level or...objectification that they dealt with at the hands of others, being referred to as it by others, being trained, but never loved, is horrendously sad, and any ending for them in hk (well, i mean, besides the godmaster ones i guess, but i dont like the godmaster endings for a number of reasons, not related to hollow themself X]) doesnt end well for them

i’ve been writing them a lot recently in a big project i’m doing and they make me v happy! they adjust so very slowly to the outside world because naturally, its so overwhelming after a good 60-70 years of absolutely nothing, but they’re just a huge nerd who’s trying their best 

All the people i ship romantically with this character:

No romantic ships for Hollow for me! I dont think they’re aro exactly, i just think they’ve been cooped up for so long they need to discover who they are before they even want to think about that, and thats going to be a very long journey 

Non romantic ship for this character

Them and Hornet! Good siblings...I feel like they can not only both empathise with each other (both had a big weight put on their shoulders, and stood by whilst their siblings were killed, lets be honest, for their own safety, justifably sadly, they were kids), but also Hornet has a pretty calming energy that hollow needs sometimes, particularly with other characters hanging about (in my interpretation at least x]) 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I...dont think they grew into their height naturally? Like, you see Ghost and them at the same height in the cutscene, and then Hollow gets bigger?? Honestly I think all the vessels are small (which i guess you could just attribute to stasis or something, so they could get big with time) but eh, I never really saw it that way. They talk about how Hollow was trained to prime form (pure vessel wise at least), which leads me to believe that the king probably a) did some training of course gkjdfhnkdfhf and b) made hollow taller via some magic of some kind

I dont have a lot of basis for this, and technically ‘Ghost is a little person and vessels otherwise would naturally grow if given the chance’ would probably make more sense but, eh, I like this, it works for how i write it, and it still answers why Hollow is tall but Ghost isnt, I just flipped around which one of them was the outlier I guess x]

One thing i wish had happened w/ this character in canon

I wish they could have lived in the dream no more ending. I know why they didn’t, and it fits, it does, I understand, I love that ending more than anything in the world. But I still wish they had lived. They never got a chance to live and it breaks my heart.

[Skipping otp/crossover ship!]

A headcanon fact

I think they’d enjoy painting, when given the chance! A way to express themself and put together their thoughts on a nice harmless canvas. Plus the paints are nice, and I think they’d like just painting new things that catch their eye, another way to get used to the world around them :’D

#ty again!! #asks #hollow knight #thk #draftyspider

[chatnoirismycinnamonroll]

Hey so I'm somewhat new to the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, and was wondering if you could suggest some good fanfics for me? Also I was wondering, I've seen this character called Felix in some of them and I don't know where he came from?

Oh, welcome to the fandom! There's so many fics I wish I could recommend, but I'm on mobile and have no idea how to link things, I'm sorry.

However, I can lead you to several authors here on Tumblr that you can follow that have created many great stories:

@gale-of-the-nomads : I highly recommend their Soulmate Survey AU, which is mostly pure fluff and focuses on reviving the fandom with their love for Adrienette.

@zoe-oneesama : they have an ongoing comic focused on their AU called the Scarlet Lady AU, which focuses on the idea of Chloe Bourgeois having, somehow, gotten thr Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette. This AU is what actually got me into the fandom, and they update mostly Wednesdays and Saturdays. Highly recommend.

@nobodyfamousposts : They have several aus as well, but the one I remember most right now would have to be the Dolls AU, where Marinette somehow has creation magic, and every doll she makes somehow comes to life. These dolls see her as their mother, and they love and protect her, especially her little Chaton. Check it out, it's pure fluff.

@ozmav @maribat-archive : they are creating content for a recent AU in which, due to a certain episode in canon that almost everybody in the fandom hates called Chameleon, Marinette is shipped with Damian Wayne after she and her class go on a field trip to Gotham to visit Wayne Enterprises. It is not Adrien, Lila, or the class friendly, but it does explore a sweet dynamic between Marinette and DCs Damian Wayne, or Robin.

@miraculously-quality-content : check out their OctoDad AU, which consists of Original Characters that explore the idea of the heroes having an actual guide in both their civilian and hero lives. With the Octopus Miraculous, the adult hero Mollusk helps the heroes battle both Hawkmoth and the challenges of life. Basically: Mollusk is a cinnamon roll that can kill you if you hurt his kids.

Here are some others that have some great AUs or just some little ficlets that are very entertaining: @lunian @ladybub @mari-cheres @miraculouscontent @miraculous-of-salt

Now, for Felix. I dont really know much either, but I do know some things, not sure if they're right tho: Felix was a character created by Thomas Astruc in the early stages of Miraculous Ladybug, which we call the PV version. It was designed as an Anime, but they later changed the company to ZAG, which designed it as we know it now.

Felix was cold, distant, and almost emotionless. He didnt want to be Chat Noir, but was cursed with bad luck, and became Chat Noir. The only way to get the curse off was to get a kiss from his partner, Ladybug, who definitely does not want to kiss him. The love square is still in effect, but more snubbing from both sides. Felix doesnt want anything to do with Bridgette, the PV Ladybug, and Ladybug doesnt want anything to do with Chat Noir. But he helps her defend Paris, so she "deals" with him. It was never completed, or even expanded on much, but the fandom really liked Felix, since he wasnt "perfect" like Adrien is made out to be.

Now, the fandom loves Felix more on the basis of "what could have been", and some fanfiction writers really took the charcater and adapted him into a more likeable character, especially after the episode Chameleon which, if you've watched it, you can find many fics and headcanons that "fix" this episode under the tag #mlsalt.

Felix also made a comeback in the fandom after someone leaked the episode names for Season 3, and we saw an Episode that revolves around Felix. The reason why is because Astruc himself had said that Felix was never going to show up in Miraculous ever again, as Astruc absolutely hated his character, but seeing an episode revolving around Felix coming up made the fandom question why? Why did Astruc lie? What is he going to do with Felix? Is he going to make Felix look worse? The fandom isnt having it so far, and had started to create content revolving around Felix and his involvement in the class, and his relationship with Marinette.

@miraculous-of-salt really made me like Felix as a love interest to Marinette in her God AU, in which Marinette is Persephone, the Goddess of Life, and Felix is Hades, the God of the Underworld, or Death.

There are so many fanfics and headcanons and ideas, that I really cant tell you how many I have seen. I've literally only been here 1 year, and I've already seen so much. Each episode that comes out helps us to create more content for our fanfictions, and with Lila Rossi reentering the picture this season, most fanfictions have her as the main antagonist, apart from Hawkmoth, as she is now seen as a greater evil.

You can also check out @ao3feed-ladynoir for more ML fanfiction. They almost regularly post new Fanfiction links to AO3, and they cover almost everything.

I hope this helps you in getting into the fandom further, and if anyone else wants to add more writers or fanfictions to check out, please be my guest and reblog with your info. Let's help someone out, shall we?

Oh, also @buggachat Cant believe I almost forget them.

#miraculousladybug #ml salt #ml au #daminette #felinette #adrienette #lukanette #kagaminette #marinette protection squad #dolls au #soulmate survey #soulmate searcher #maribat #fix it #scarlet lady au #scarlet lady comic #ml season 3 #octodad au #god au #goddess of life au #felix culpa #ml felix

[movedthechangingman]

j’onn j’onzz and john constantine?

under a cut bc this is REALLY long!!! my two favourite johns

favorite thing about them

the thighs i like thats hes kind of the ‘serious jl member’ but hes always 80% nude for jack and shit reason. starfire has that dumb whole “needs sun exposure” excuse j’onn just wants to walk around in bootyshorts and a harness

least favorite thing about them

he hates ted which like OK i know everyone hates ted but like… ted

favorite line

“i have a confession to make, diane. the martian manhunter is not a hero… not yet.”

brOTP

i actually think him and bruce would be good friends if comics cared abt depicting friendships… i havent read them interacting really since the early 2000s so idk where they stand 

OTP

red tornado!! i call it redmartian or tornadomartian. theres no basis i just think they deserve to fall in love and get married 

nOTP

ive never seen anybody else care enough abt him to ship him with anyone

random headcanon

this is silly but i do think he like, doesnt wear pants. like ever. the longest he’ll go is mid thigh. hes never worn anything that goes past that unless hes at his earth job

unpopular opinion

ive never even seen anybody else form an opinion on j’onn so heres my noncontroversial feeling: he should be considered an essential JL member i dont care about main justice league lineups without him in them

song i associate with them

i dont have one… sorry j’onn

favorite picture of them

to shock everyone its not a photo with his thighs in it

john constantine 

(im doing his rebirth/52 version not vertigo)

favorite thing about them

1. the everything

im extremely attracted to him and also he makes me feel better about myself as a person. additionally , i like him. hes horrid and terrible and i genuinely adore him… i almost went into a huge rant abt how while i think the 52 “i cant lie” thing was dc woobifying him if i do take it into account i think its just… sad and inchresting. maybe a bit relatable 

least favorite thing about them

2. the everything

this isnt his fault but every line hes ever spoken about zatanna is annoying. i know its the writing. i know i already didnt like them. but oh my GOD dude get over it

favorite line

brOTP

legally i have to answer chas bc thats just canon but other than that, john and shade got along fine in that first crossover and i think they should be terrible people together

OTP

truthfully its bruce/john/boston they should ALL date

nOTP

johnzee :I scarily codependent and unhealthy for both of them

random headcanon

he had asa and boston there once but now they wont leave the house of mystery and now he has 2 roommates he cant get rid of. shade uses the madness to come and go from the house to bother him or just do you know, shade things. i dont think he actually has the house of mystery anymore but it turns out i dont care at all

unpopular opinion

controversial: i see people (esp adult men) act like hes not like. a horrible person and he doesnt deserve all this etc etc etc like.. hes a piece of shit who doesnt think about the consequences of his actions and when bad things happen as a result he just

noncontroversial: its good that hes not actually a team member of the jld in rebirth. he fits better as a jerk who just wont leave them alone

song i associate with them

like a friend by pulp… mostly in reference to him & chas (esp in the tv show,)

i like to purposefully misinterpret the lyrics of ocean breathes salty, also but it gets more into shade+john+kathy than john himself

favorite picture of them

this cover by riley rossmo PLEASE dont @ me i just think its such a graceful pic…. all primary colours in different saturated tones… AUGH

#taylorthegiant #iggyanswers #justixw league comix

[theraen]

😭bring me to tears! (Please note,I cry easily!)

Okay so I haven’t written a crying scene yet in this wip but I once wrote a fanfic I never finished (what a surprise) so I thought I could post it? It’s heavy and terrible and has a lot of trigger warnings. I’m giving you just the crying part; if you want, you can read the other chapters on ao3 but you’ve been warned, okay? Please take care 💙💙

Fandom: the 100Ship: clexa (Clarke Griffin and Lexa)Rating: ExplicitTrigger warnings (I’ll put them all, and then I’ll capitalise the ones that apply only to this part): CANONICAL CHARACTER DEATH, VIOLENCE, GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Depression

***You never thought you could hate Fridays so much.Yet here you are, Clarke, on a Friday night. On a desert roadside in the middle of nowhere.Nothing’s there. Not even the moon.

Lexa is dying.

«It’s going to be all right,» you whisper between tears while you try not to choke «You just have to hold on for a little more.» You gently stroke her cheek, afraid to hurt her even more «Help is coming.»

That’s a lie, and you know it. Nobody’s coming. Her mobile phone got lost in the accident and yours is just a black, cracked screen. Who killed you is burning in the pyre of their car. You pretended to call help just because Lexa wouldn’t stop screaming. Now that she can’t, though, you feel like utter shit – you feel like dying, again and again. Even more than how you already are.

Lexa coughs, and there’s blood on her hand. Blood as red as the one soaking the other hand, the wound, the balled-up shirt that can’t stop the bleeding.

«Clarke–»

«Shush» you stop her, and look back into her eyes. They’re filled with fear, fear of a monster that you cannot slay «Save your energy. You can do this.»

«I’m-I’m dying, Clarke.»

NO.

There’s firmness in her fleeting voice, as if all were already written. As if she had already seen it.As if it were obvious.It’s not.It is.She’s dying, Clarke. You know that since the moment you haven’t seen her getting out of the car on her legs.You can cry. It’s natural.

«You’re not dying,» you scream, and you break, again and again.

You’re so lost you don’t notice that Lexa’s hand that should be keeping pressure on the wound went up to clean the tears and the blood that are painting your face. And it doesn’t matter that you have a degree in Medicine and you save dozens and dozens of lives on a daily basis, at this point you are nothing. You just are Clarke, and you don’t know what to do.

«Don’t be afraid,» she reassures you «Everything’s going to be all right.»

«YOU’RE NOT DYING» you say louder, more desperate and desperate as the time passes «In a minute the ambulance will be here and we’ll go to the hospital and the doctors will fix you and you’ll live. You’ll live.» And you believe it for a second. Only a tiny second that makes you hope you won’t die with her «Then I’m gonna get you home and take care of you. And when you’ll be better we’ll make sweet, sweet love.»

Lexa almost bursts into laughter when you say those words – actually she just crumbles, barely not fainting. But the look she gives you is the same of every morning. It’s the same of when you wake up together in the same bed and start giggling like little girls.

«It’s not just sex? Since when-since when do we make love?»

«Since the beginning,» you whisper, with a sheer smile «Sorry if I never told you.»

She smiles too. And sighs. She seems happy.

«I’ve always known it.»

She closes her eyes.

«NO LEXA LOOK AT ME-»

She pries her eyes back open, and apologises. She’s cold. You give her your jacket without taking your eyes off her. She smiles again.

«Go on,» she asks «You stopped where we make love.»

And you don’t understand that she wants to die lulled by the sound of your voice. You don’t understand but you cry anyway – and this time you’re not ashamed – and go on anyway.

«What do you want to know?»

«Everything. Will it be beautiful?»

You nod, bite your lips, die a little more.

«More than anything else. I will be on top of you and will tickle you, cause I know that even if you always play it cool, you’re just as scared as I am. I will cover every single part of your body with kisses, slowly, with devotion, taking all the time in the world. Because we deserve it.»

When Lexa closes her eyes again, you let her go.She’s shivering.You sob, without shame.

«Our hands will be intertwined in the perfect joint we never needed to find. And we will love each other, and the rest of the world will disappear. And there won’t be anything else but us and the shrinking space between us, and the sound of our kisses, our fingertips, our moans.»

You try to breathe. You fail. Tears fall down your face and land on Lexa’s hair, getting confused with the blood and the asphalt. The sky watches you die, unmoved. For a second you ask yourself what there will be after. After death, after this godforsaken night, after someone will have found the two of you and will have saved only your life.You already know it, don’t you? Do you know there will be nothing?You go on anyway.

«When you’ll come you’ll do it quietly, without a noise, like always. Only a lament that will leave my name on your tongue – wrinkled nose and tiptoes – and my lips on yours, and a smile that will taste too much like a confession. Cause it’s what I’ve always whispered you, you know?» you reveal, then close your eyes. The only thing tying you to this world now is her. And yet you feel her slip away from your fingers. And yet it’s like you could see it, that thread that’s growing thinner and thinner threatening to leave you floating, alone, in the void «While you held my head with your thighs and I made you bend your back and see the stars, and beg a god neither of us has ever believed in. I whispered you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you…»

When you open your eyes you get lost in hers, filled with you. They shine like tears, like a delirium, like the words she never said to you.

«Clarke,» she breathes. And watches away.

This time you are the one screaming her name, without emitting a voice. You see the light leave her eyes and scatter in the darkness of this pitch black night. But you don’t even grab a spark of it. You shatter, cry, stay silent. You curse the stars and life, and death, and pain. And love.

Because you know it and it’s driving you crazy.This will be the only way you’ll be able to remember her.Dead, in your arms. While she calls you.And she loves you.

***https://archiveofourown.org/works/12727275/chapters/29024412

#paola writes #paola answers #writing #my writing #writeblr #clexa #clexa fanfic #tw #tw death #tw graphic