#like i still struggle w making content for malleus on the reg after all the shit that went down but

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

can’t make you happier now

when they yearn for u most ig

gender neutral reader

—when you love someone else

Malleus doesn’t know who he should hate most: Fate, love, you, the one who’s holding you, himself. He loves you—you, the only one who’s ever peered into the deep abyss of the conflicts swirling around in his heart like a million choruses and poems chanting all with their own desires padlocked behind the curt face he puts on for the crown, and decided that he was worthy of your time and pure affection. With you, he can be childish and demanding and unfiltered, truly relishing the liberty that being a young teenage boy should be like.

But that’s the most difficult part. That sweet feeling that flutters past his lips whenever you dance across his memories makes his heart wrench up in a way that could kill him. The shine of the night’s crown has nothing on the stifling confession that rests behind his throat: unspoken and unknown. Because he’s heir, he’s king, it’s his birthright, love was never an option for him. The most he can do to honor the love that he can never have is to let you be happy with someone else. His mouth runs dry when someone else kisses you as he should, his hands weigh emptily when someone else links fingers with you as he should, his future shadows uncertainly when he realizes that the years ahead of him are a condemnation of solitude.

Everything is too big, too ungainly if you aren’t there. The bright and excited pitter-patter of your footsteps should be echoing across the hallways instead of the lonely cadence of his own feet. When he wakes up, it’s the vast expanses of his dark sheets greet his eyes rather than your drowsy eyes and husky voice. His royal court wants to marry him off to someone advantageous, someone who would further the influence of the crown. Still, the hand he is to wed isn’t yours, the mouth he is to kiss isn’t yours, and the soul he’s to be bound loyally to isn’t yours. Not everyone has the privilege of love, but that couldn’t stop him from fiending for it like a man gone mad.

It’s only when time has passed, and someone brings the inevitable news to him that you’ve moved on, you’ve found someone else to pledge your heart and soul to, that Malleus has to come to terms with the foolish but desperate hope he had fostered for so long within the cracks of his own ribcage. Undoubtedly, a hole the shape of you has been wrenched out from his heart, the void a reminder of a longing that no magic nor royal power could ever fathom of filling back up again.

“Be happy, child of man. For me, if you can’t do it for anyone else.”

—when you’re dead

Love is an ideal Lilia works for. A world where the fae folk and humanity can live in harmony; nature and industry, magic and might, night and day coming together without any venom in their veins or hatred broiling behind their eyes. A future like that is what Lilia has strove for for much of his life, sometimes using the blade and sometimes using the wisdom that comes with his age. He’s seen his fair share of souls and crisscrossed paths with all sorts of different people.

You’re an anomaly. You’re someone who sees his vision and wants to make it truth, as if something like peace could be achieved in the instantaneous moment that your mortal life was. Your sincerity touches Lilia’s guarded but hopeful heart, and every second that melts away with the two of you hand-in-hand, exploring every nook and cranny that love brings, Lilia affirms his duty and calling for a utopian future that much harder. For him, for his family, for you.

But nothing is meant to last forever. A bitter taste fills his mouth and hot tears prick his eyes when he recalls the light leaving your eyes, a final squeeze of his hand and a final silent plea to carry on what the two of you have believed in for so long. The winters that follow are cold—too cold without your warmth—and Lilia finally learns firsthand why people and fae alike are driven to madness with grief. What is love, if you aren’t there to share it with him? What is purpose, if you aren’t there to revel in its highs and lows by his side? What is truth, if you aren’t there to prove it to him over and over again?

Lilia can stomach any pain, but this is the one true agony he can never heal from. His body may morph and change so he can serve his liege as best as he can, but his soul remains steadfast to you. Even when you exist as nothing more than a distant memory, a lone daisy blooming amidst the battlefield, Lilia still claws at the walls and craves for your touch as if you had only left him yesterday. That is the price of love, he carves into his being, the painful reality of the sacrifice he has to make if he wants to continue marching forward with the faraway hope that someday someone won’t have to suffer in the way he is.

“If only you could see what I see, little one. The days are too long without you to fill them.”

—when you’re separated

Silver is accustomed to a lifestyle of isolation and ostracism, to say the least. He’s the human of the fae country. Rounded ears and a mortal lifespan, oftentimes he feels like a lone star waiting to cave in on itself when time comes floating lonesomely in the midst of a rapidly evolving and expanding universe all around him. Night Raven College is a pause from that feeling. You’re human, and you’re someone who’s the same as him: isolated yet tapping into each other to find a degree of stability.

But stability is what a knight upholds, not a lifestyle for a knight himself. Duty calls, and it calls earnestly for him. You’re undoubtedly running around and exploring as you should, surrounded by those just like you, while he brandishes his shining sword for the crown that he wasn’t even supposed to be born under. What would you say to him then? Would you pity the circumstances of his birth, or would you cradle him in your arms out of empathy? Maybe you’d be indifferent or even disgusted at his chivalry, but at least you feel for him.

The Valley of Thorns is dark and strange, both home and the unknown. This place and Night Raven College are all that he’s ever known, both thorny and unapproachable in their own right. You can only soothe his pain so much when distance tears you away from him, and once your handwritten letters become more and more scarce, the distant loop of your letters and the fond signature that existed so long ago is all Silver has to console his broken heart.

You will not come to him, and he cannot come to you. He’s inextricably tied to the task of guarding his liege, and he only remains in the good graces of the fae due to his exemplary behavior. Torn between passion and tradition, Silver has no choice but to choose the only path he’s ever known, left only with earnest prayer that you’d be touched far away and visit him. But that’s a distant dream, one that he should have woken up from yesterday.

“I miss you. Every part of me misses you. If you would appear in front of me, I wouldn’t wish for anything else in this world.”

—when you hate him

Hatred and devotion are two sides of the same coin, Sebek being the perfect example of such a concept. It takes devotion to hate, and it takes hatred to devote to one allegiance over the other. That should explain his own feelings, why he’s so repulsed by you. It’s simply because his devotion lies with the fae, who have no time for primitive humans who understand nothing outside of the world right at their nose. It’s easier to dismiss the conflict brewing in his chest as nothing more than hatred; it’s easier to ignore the elephant in the room rather than to force it out.

That would explain why your hatred for him is mutual. Even the slightest streak of green is enough to make you scowl, your hardened eyes the only mercy that ever meets his lightning yellow irises. It stabs at his chest mercilessly, but his own pride refuses to make amends with your frustration. Hatred only breeds more hatred, the only devotion the two of you hold being the devotion to see the other fall to their ruin, no matter the means or the cost.

Which is why he loves you that much more passionately. You run around his brain like you’ve enchanted him, dangling yourself like a prize right out of his reach. He’s gone far, far too far, to think that he could ever redeem himself. Where the two of you could have closed the space with a kiss, he’s filled it with spades, and in turn, you’ve returned those spades with lofty walls to protect yourself. Could he blame you? Absolutely not. But he hates you so much that he loves you, and he loves you so much that he hates you.

It scares him to think that this is all he’ll ever be to you. An ignorant, repulsive soul that makes your skin crawl with disgust. You’re his first love, the key to blooming an understanding of the world beyond his own prejudice, but he’s already pressed the mercy of your heart far too much. His hatred has bred something greater and more painful than he can handle, condemning to mourn his own foolishness and writhe in the painful revelation that the love he feels for you will only be met with the same bitterness that he had sown all over you.

“Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me, please. Not with those eyes. Not with that face.”

x

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver #sebek zigvolt #x reader #my writing #weirdos dni or ill make u inhale my hair dye fumes #girl help my head hurts #diasomnia got me feeling some type of way lately #like i still struggle w making content for malleus on the reg after all the shit that went down but #he's . fun to play with ngl i like making him dance like a fool for my fics #and lilia too honestly he's one of my favorites for twst writing #like if there's a prompt there's a 89% chance lilia fits that criteria