#like i think there's Something going on vis a vis personal identity but i don't know if it can legitimately be called a trans thing

[isawken]

disco elysium and transmasculinity:

i don't want to be this kind of animal anymore

there is no such thing as an inherently masculine trait, only those which we have culturally prescribed to be masculine. muscular, tall, strong, stoic. self-destructive. repressive. angry. unhinged. violent. addictive.

Disco Elysium markets itself with the tagline “what kind of cop are you?”. to put it bluntly: you get to choose what man you want to be. the actual gameplay mechanic is the game keeps track of your dialogue choices and, among other RPG things, neatly divvies them up into 4 main Cop Categories: Sorry Cop, Apocalypse Cop, Superstar Cop, Boring Cop. after some time establishing your identity you can branch off into 3 other copotypes: honor cop, art cop, and hobocop. These are all exactly what you think they would be.

a supremacist stands tall, immovable, shirtless, tattooed, in the way of one of your objectives, and if you let him he will tell you all the ways your body betrays your degeneracy. all the indulgences you make, with drugs and alcohol and sex, are allegedly clear as day written across your reddened swollen face. you are not a man. you are pathetic. a pair of women reassure his divine masculinity even when he admits his impotence. there’s no denying it: that’s one man of a man right there.

your former detective partner is an eternally scowling pockmark faced asshole. he approaches every interaction with you with a nice solid baseline of aggression. if you choose to put your points into something called “espirit de corps”, you get small vignettes of his previous actions. in one of them, it’s joked that you two are near-marital in your relationship. in some of them, he worries about you. muttering under his breath, mostly to himself, not unkindly. but he certainly never shows that to you face to face. 

two old men play pétanque outside every day by the sea. they have done this for years. they have known each other since they were kids. one is a fascist, the other a democratic socialst. if you’re nosy, you can go to the watchman’s post and find a picture of him, his socialist buddy, and a young woman whose attentions they supposedly both vied for. if you decide to become a fascist, the game gives you something more. your abilities Pain Threshold, Composure, Endurance, Volition, Conceptualization, and Inland Empire take turns showing you tiny slices of a truth viciously stamped beneath the heel of his brilliant boot. a love for his dear hated socialist. and when he dies, that socialist tells you the same. but they never told each other. never even came close. because how could you?

harry dubois wakes up face down ass up covered in piss and vomit and full of foggy confusion after drinking himself into amnesia. he's tall, he's got giant arms, a proud beer gut, and he's self-destructed himself into literal oblivion. this pitiful bastard doesn't even remember his own name. the first person he encounters outside of the hotel room in which he fucked himself up beyond his limbic system’s reach tells him at some point during his bingeful weekend she heard him scream, "i dont want to be this kind of animal anymore". you don’t know why you said this. but after a while you have some pretty good guesses.

i could talk forever about the unique circumstances of growing up as a girl in modern western society. but i have nothing interesting to say that hasn't already been said much more eloquently. learning to hate my body, learning to be afraid, learning that you need to want to be consumed. the eternal unpacking of all the issues a patriarchal society burdens you with. it never ends. but i've at least reached a point where i've done my base legwork. i know the oppression i've fought. it is nameable. i have labeled each and every patriarchal burden like a so many papers in a filing cabinet. few are going in the shredder, but at least they're known. next to that filing cabinet, i have a big pile of loose papers slowly sliding off a desk with the word "masculinity" in neon lights flickering above them. i want to dive into those papers. but the thought of it fills me with such apprehension. i've always wanted masculinity. i've purposefully adopted affectations to make myself more stereotypically masculine. most are hilariously shallow, and not exactly innovative. i smoked camels for 8 years. i drink my coffee black. i picked up a nice little alcohol habit. i've shoved down more feelings than i would ever willingly admit in the hopes to appear unbothered. I’ve told myself to “man the fuck up” my fair share of times. none of it got rid of my hips or my tits or my anxiety or my painfully high pitched voice. i’ve quit smoking. i sometimes think i should start again for many reasons, but one is in the hope that my voice will drop. just one octave. at least. it’s silly, i know. believe me. i know.

when harry drags his sorry ass out of that hotel room, he isn't free of his past. he has shadows in his mind reminding him of the things he's forgotten. shadows that still influence his views of masculinity. there is no way to truly escape the bitter leaden paint stuck to the inside of your mind so violently applied by our beloved patriarchal society. there is a hilarious dialogue option where, if you so choose, you can proclaim that you would never let anyone androgynous touch your hair. because the “others” (unnamed) would laugh at you. here we have a man who cant remember his own name, but he is certain that he absolutely cannot under any circumstances have a non-manly haircut for fear of mockery and rejection by his peers. how many coats of that leadened paint must have adhered to his poor, poor limbic system that even when he’s forgotten the concept of money, he still knows about the boundaries of masculinity.

 as harry tries to be a good person (or a fascist or a doom prophet or a disco superstar) he cannot really shake the pieces of himself that make him him. and he meets another bastion of masculinity, kim kitsuragi immeasurably measured, willful, and kind (for a cop), he helps you rediscover the world around you as you try to rewrite your tabula rasa'd self. he is firm, but nice. he lets you make your choices and mistakes. and he only stops supporting you when you start fucking up like, literally everything, and indulging in racism. naturally, there is a lot of fanart of them kissing, and yearning. both are beacons of masculinity, different sides of the same coin. where harry is physically imposing, kim is slight. where kim is calm cool and collected, harry will break down crying after a brief conversation with his necktie. but both are undeniably masculine. i mean, they’re cops after all. what more masculine profession is there?

as kind as kim is to you in your lowest possible state, it can be easy to overlook the ways in which he is not kind. when you tell him you think you really, seriously, need to go to the hospital, seriously kim i can't even remember my name i think i could have brain damage, kim responds with the equivalent of "walk it off" by encouraging you to start working on the case and see if that makes you feel better instead. it is in this light that you recognize which affectations of his are conscious posturing. his fitted jacket and trousers, matching the uniforms worn by air brigades in a past war. his careful collection of tools he keeps in his beloved kineema. his vast knowledge and care for the car itself. looked at in a certain different light- you know the one- you could see these traits being the result of a very careful construction. he found pieces of overt masculinity and decided to subsume them as a defense. a bolstering, a reinforcement of chosen masculinity.

there are so many different flavors of masculinity that the game offers you to experience and explore yourself. you decide whether to value them. you can follow in mister phenology’s footsteps and try to build yourself into a supremacist ideal. maybe that will make you happy. you can also chase after a barely-coded homosexual man, who makes you stutter in most available dialogue options. even if that may make you happy, you don’t get to pursue it. you can think for 20 hours about the "homosexual underground", but you can't join it yourself. you can however join fascism. interesting how harry is more susceptible to fascism than homosexuality. interesting to prod and poke at his masculine limits.

“what kind of cop are you” is a loaded question. harry is rebuilding himself from the ground up as a man. and how funny is it to learn that is inextricable from his profession.

what do you find inextricable from your gender? what of those traits make you happy? what of those traits make you want to throw your fucking shoe through a god damn window and punch the bathroom mirror and scream and scream and scream and scream?

i want to emerge from a hotel room, at my lowest point, and have the power to rebuild myself from scratch. i want a cool man who i maybe want to kiss guide me with a gentle yet firm hand. i want to have large arms, and a proud beer gut, and a stupid beard, and i want to destroy a hotel room and drink myself into a beautifully tragic state. i want to have non-political body hair. i want to get stared at for my gaudy tie and green snakeskin shoes instead of my tits. i want become a different kind of animal.

#this is very long and rambly and filled with half-finished thoughts #i will maybe one day come back to it and finish those thoughts #but i just wanted to put this out there. slide into my inbox if you also have transmasc feelings about disco elysium. i want to hear you #disco elysium #transmasc #transmasculinity #transgender

[ishcliff]

something fun i noted out of curiosity...

heathcliff has more lines/screentime than many of the other sinners, yet he only refers to any other sinner by their name three times in the entire story script:

canto II

and both in canto V

(disclaimers: i don't know the original korean text, so i don't know if this remains true there. i also am intentionally not factoring in identities.)

the rest of the time, he refers to the other sinners by nicknames, either impersonal ("yellow-haired lass" for don, woman, bird, lad, mate, etc.) or dubiously-affectionately derogatory (bug guy, smartarse, clockhead).

but specifically, he refers to catherine by not only her name, but a personal nickname – "i call her cathy" is a statement with a lot of inherent power behind the intent. it shows he knows her, suggests that he is more familiar with her than anyone else.

what this means to me is how heathcliff refers to other people is important to him. vergilius gets referred to by name out of respect or fear (likely both). he takes great care in putting distance between himself and others, hence why he often is reflexively defensive and dismissive under scrutiny. so, he sums up their base traits and refers to them as such – dante has a clock for a head, gregor has a bug arm, etc. it's also a flippant way to deliberately bring someone down a peg. it's a message to send to others who may think they are better than him that they aren't the only ones who can judge (him) on a surface level.

heathcliff constantly puts others under his own scrutiny. he is hyperaware of people's general qualities in the context of risk assessment. this is a pretty common skill those raised in abusive environments develop as a survival mechanism. being able to readily assess someone's character and also their current emotional state is a necessity for those in an environment like heathcliff's – from the backstreets, to wuthering heights, to the city at large.

heathcliff is very straightforward and doesn't exactly hide who he is, but he also is very firm on putting up walls between himself and others. i think this is likely going to be a point of conflict during canto VI, especially as heathcliff is around the people (and especially person) who could claim to know him more than anyone else.

essentially, i am reading in between the lines of this interaction later in the christmas event (which i know i've discussed before):

it will be interesting to see how heathcliff does or doesn't open up and accept the other sinners as a part of his life going forward.

#this is also true for ryoshu but she has some of the least lines in the story so far #she refers to don quixote by name in the christmas event if we count “D.Q.” #and dante #but that is it #lcb heathcliff #limbus company meta

[saunne]

HSR THEORY - PENACONY AND THE FAMILY

Okay so when I saw Penacony, it made me awfully think of something but I couldn't pinpoint exactly what. Until this morning.

For a bit of context, let's review quickly what we know.

The introduction to Penacony is as follow :

Penacony, also known as the Planet of Festivities, is a planet currently inhabited by the Family in the Asdana star system.

It is said that it was once a prison planet owned by the IPC, until a Stellaron corrosion broke out, a bit like what happened on Jarilo VI. When it happened, Penacony took refuge under The Family and Xipe's patronage.

This prison used to work for the Garden of Recollection to retrieve Memory Bubbles and since it's Fuli domain, linked to memory and all that is unconscious/subconscious, Penacony gradually became a "dream-planet" cutted off from reality, with people's consciousness linked in dreams.

It was the over-present theme of dreams/memory and dream nation that made me go 🤨 the first time but nothing clicked until I went to check who the fuck was The Family. And soon enough, things started to feel strange.

In the vision of the Harmony, the diverse civilizations throughout the universe will eventually become as close as siblings, singing in unison the hymn of unity and joy.

They come from different worlds, belong to different civilizations, and have different identities, but they are, at the same time, the closest family members there are. There is never noisy disputes or even contradictions among its members, only eternal love and smiles — there is no more harmonious family in the universe than them.

Yeah. It sounds good, right ? Who doesn't want interstellar peace and happiness (except Nanook and their followers) ?

But at the same time, the tone of all that, it sounds a bit like a sect doesn’t it ? It seems a bit too good to be true, to be honest.

And it's when I got the Eureka moment of "what does it make me think of" if I may say so.

LOTOPHAGOI.

Also more commonly known as : Lotus-eaters.

In Greek Mythology, in Homer's Odyssey, the Lotus-eaters were a race of people known for their consumption of lotus seeds, a powerful narcotic that made them live in a peaceful apathy.

"Peaceful apathy" hm ? Interesting.

It is believed that this lotus could have been Nymphea caerula, also known as the "blue lotus" of the Nile, used by Egyptian to produce a soporific with psychotropic properties.

Soporific as in "dream inducing". Penacopy being a dream-nation, it's when I started getting suspicious. But then, psychotropic : a psychotropic drug is one that affects mood, thoughts, perception and behavior.

"There is never noisy disputes or even contradictions among its members, only eternal love and smiles". Yeah, well I personally believe they're high as fucking kites.

One of the most interesting things however is what happened after consuming the lotus : "After they ate the lotus, they would forget their home and loved ones and long only to stay with their fellow lotus-eaters. Those who ate the plant never cared to report or return." (x)

What did it say about the Family, hmmmm ?

And it gets even worse !

People are also curious whether any members of the Family had grown tired of the one and voluntarily abandoned the Path of Harmony? In the face of such a question, the Family smiles and replies “Never."

Yeah. I don't really feels like it's a good idea to go on Penacony anymore ?

Because an old prison-planet ? Cut off from reality and heavily linked to dream-state ? Under the full control of The Family ?

"The Family at Penacony issued formal invitations to many galactic factions for the first time in history."

And they invited a whole lot of important people too, how curious !

Addendum:

The universe will become a harmonious whole, with no discordant notes to disrupt the beautiful chords and no fools worrying about their own short-sighted futures.

Do you all know Percy Jackson? Well guess what Rick Riordan did of the Lotophagoi ? A fancy Hotel-Casino in which you got trapped and lost sense of time, without ever wanting to leave !

Planet of Festivities ? Casino ? Anyone ?

Yeah.

Well if they propose to you any suspicious flower-looking food or seeds or anything, same rule as in the Underworld : Do not fucking eat it.

#honkai star rail #honkai: star rail #honkai star rail theory #hsr theory #penacony #hsr xipe #hsr the family

[transfaguette]

my thing abt "pronoun circles" is that like. you dont have to out yourself in them? if you think its safer to say "she/her" instead of "he/him" then u can do that? u saying ur pronouns isnt supposed to be like. Im Transgender And You Can Tell Bc I Told You Pronouns Instead Of Having You Assume Them... like ideally cis ppl would be doing this too and ive been in environments where cis ppl DID introduce themselves w pronouns or wear pins. if the goal is normalization, if the goal is "genderqueerness should be accepted" then we have to like. Do Things to Normalize It.

(bc this website is like an active pvp zone i wanna clarify im not trying to criticize you or start an argument...! ive had lots of Talks w my trans friends and family abt this and like I Get It lol and i dont necessarily disagree. likewise it's just my opinion that 'pronouns circles' are supposed to make things safer For Me and it is not for stealth trans people at all to begin with... i feel like ppl blame nonbinary folks for a lot of things transphobic cis ppl do vis a vis gender neutral language and 'pronoun circles' and stuff like 'you shouldnt assume ppls pronouns' a lot. which isnt what ur doing but it is the reason why im Sharing my two cents. anyways i hope u have a good day bye bye)

maybe it's a bit of irrational anxiety but i just hate misgendering myself because i'm just..lying. I feel like when someone who looks like me (presumed afab and not a typical cis female) says she/her, people breathe a sigh of relief. Like oh great, we thought you might have been trans but good to know you're not. and they cling to that. because queerness makes them uncomfortable and they don't want to be uncomfortable. and then if I ever want to get close to someone I feel like I have to shatter that expectation. I don't know. It's also why, for Me and Me specifically, giving my correct pronouns is going to be a confirmation of my transgender identity. not just because "giving your pronouns is something trans people do," but because people know I am not a cis man.

It's all about the environment, too. a queer meet up where I Want to be open about my identity, that makes perfect sense. Training at a new job? That's incredibly unfair to me, a person who is not stealth nor out, and just wants to exist in the world as myself. I don't know these people, I don't want to have to divulge this or get into it. It takes my agency away.

It does bother me a lot that this isn't a perfect solution and not everybody likes it. I wish there was something better. I wish it was simpler for me. I just know what I wish cis people understood and could be more careful about how they approach scenarios like this. I appreciate your kind approach though and I really, really wish this was an easier dilemma to solve.

#asks

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hi!! Gin for the ask game?

Yay Gin!!!

Favorite thing about them: Oh man there's not much to talk about in canon outside of the oc I made from them. But I still think they're very cool!! I also find them felling affection for Ryuunosuke to be very sweet, they're the only character in the whole series together with Higuchi who's ever shown to genuinely care about him.

Least favorite thing about them: How they weren't given a personality outside of “Akutagawa's sister”. Like, I love Gin, but being honest, it's more of loving the character I built pretty much from scratch for them in my mind, because canon literally never gave them a personality. Also, I don't like the voice actor choice for them… I don't know if I'm being conservative with this, but I find that kind of hyperfemininity they're depicted having sometimes (their high-pitched voice, the onsen scene in Wan) pretty stereotypical, that taste of “all tough girls deep down actually want to be delicate and femminine” from old medias I don't really vibe with.

Favorite line:

This one, because it's funny, and specifically because it's a non-verbal line. I like the idea of Gin using their sword more than they use their mouth.

brOTP: Look, I'm weak for siblings dynamics. They're always my favourite thing. I don't remember ever having an hyperfixation that didn't include siblings dynamics. I love love love the Gin / Ryuunosuke relationship and could talk about them for days. ALSO the Black Lizard in general I've already talked about them here I care so much about them. I really like tachigin platonically too. And I like Gin's dynamics with Higuchi, I actually like them better platonically.

OTP: I dig everything tachigin, I really like them and the “I'm not who I say I am but you know me better than myself even though you don't know my true identity” deal they have going on. I also like the idea of Gin and Naomi 👀👀👀 talkative gf x gf who's never said a word their whole life. Also my personal crack ship Gin × Paula ThePromisedNeverland

nOTP: ... I don't really dig higu/gin. Higu/gin friends, please forgive me. I just think that starting dating the person your brother has repeatedly abused would be super awkward, and I don't think I really like the idea of Higuchi basically dating Ryuunosuke's sister as rebound guy. Also it's just a thing with me and not being a fan of vanilla / sugar spice and everything nice wlw ships. I do acknowledge they have their fair share of scenes together and that they're perfect to be interpreted romantically!! The latest volume 23 omake especially, it can perfectly be taken as romantic. It's just not something that does it for me, and tbh I like them better with having a kind of sisters dynamics, with Higuchi being this kind of very exuberant and silly self-assigned older sister and Gin who just likes her and enjoys hanging out with her.

Random headcanon: Oh boy, may I introduce you to my Gin brainrot. I really have so many ideas about them. Apart from what I've already mentioned, I really like the idea of them having selective mutism, especially as it's shown in Wan. I don't think they're someone to talk in general. The Akutagawas household must be death silent 24/7 lol.

Unpopular opinion: I just wish people would give them more flaws. I'ver read my fair share of Gin fics, and in all of them they're always this kind of sassy / funny / witty / pretty / confident / charismatic / overall perfect person. As result, I find them quite boring to read, and they particularly pale in comparison to Ryuunosuke; especially since at least for me it's his flaws that make him such a compelling character. I wish we'd extend some of his flaws to Gin too. They're bad at communication and expressing their feelings. They're aggressive and pessimistic. Idk, anything that makes them a little more human.

Song i associate with them: How To World Domination by Neru. Just the overall imaginary it evokes of two siblings close in age fighting together in a world that is both violent and war-ridden, and terribly domestic and mundane. The feeling of being lonely together. Them both fighting to become a better version of themselves, a kinder version of themselves, even, before my heart grows numb from the cold. This song really is one that always evokes the Akutagawa siblings in my mind whenever it comes on shuffle. Also, Re-education by Neru, for similar reasons.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card: (Band Gin you will always be famous)

Send me a character?

#gin akutagawa #bsd #mine #people asks me stuff #Thank you for asking!! <33

[agentrouka-blog]

Hey! Did you find the time to read the affc outline yet? I just know people are seething lol. I wanted to ask, what did you think about the Tyrion outline? That he will “witness incest”? Will he see two people and be reminded of Jaime/Cersei because there doesn’t seem to be any other option. Dany is alone and I doubt she will get together with Aegon VI later in the volume.

Moreover, I feel like the pov Prince of Sorrows is Tyrion’s or Tyrion centric nonetheless because I feel “whores go everywhere” is the answer to the constant question Tyrion asks himself in adwd - “where do whores go”. Maybe he finds out about Tysha and it is painful??

I know at this point we can only speculate because we don’t have any evidence to go off on, but what do you think, can we figure out something about the outline?

Hi there! :)

(Reddit post in question)

I've read it but not in-depth. No time, unfortunately. (Employment is a huge impediment to fandom...)

Here are some rambling thoughts, yay!

I'm pretty sure the Prince of Sorrows refers to concept that Tyrion was supposed to have an encounter with the Shrouded Lord (I think?) in a dream of some kind, probably during his near-death at the Bridge of Dream, which was in the Sorrows stretch of the Rhoyne. What snippets of philosophical musings GRRM put under that header certainly fit a transcendent confrontation with Tyrion's conscience. "Let it go or it will become you. Let them go - will not bring you peace." Tyrion's inability to let go of his own trauma and resulting rage (like Dany, like Theon, like Stannis, like LSH, like Bran, like Arya etc etc etc) is utterly the root of his own villainy and future undoing. So that checks out. GRRM cut it, probably because it may have been too heavy-handed at this point in time. He instead opted to show us a Tyrion descending into complete depravity at Selhorys, with any self-reflection deferred to a much later point.

"Witness to incest" is so vague that I don't think we can even extrapolate it refers to any specific action with the plot so much as it's a self-description.

It's important to remember that this informal little note of an outline is from GRRM for GRRM, and these are prompts or reminders that tie into his already existing thoughts. We have no idea what those thoughts are. A phrase like "KILL THE MOUSE" or "witness to incest" can refer to an intended quote, it can refer to a status he wants to emphasize inside the chapter, it can be a personal reminder to achieve a specific moment or plot point, it can be symbolic. Is the Mouse Shadrich, or is it a code for Alayne, who is a mousy-brown creature scurrying about the castle, different but similar to Arya's Harrenhal mouse era? What it does is beautifully showcase how he structures the more pragmatic, detailed bits of his plot around key points he wants to make. Take the Arya notes. "The joy of giving". Obviously, he is working on complex imagery that juxtaposes "taking a life" with "giving the gift", the hypocritisy of murder for hire - and the genuine peace offered to those who come to die of their own volition. Here, too, GRRM chose to hold back on actually going into these issues in the finished product in Feast-Dance, probably saving it for the climactic escape and/or Arya's confrontation with Catelyn's revenant.

Is the incest Jaime and Cersei, which Tyrion has witnessed all his life? Was it meant to tie into Aegon and Dany (who he learns are intended to marry), or to set up something else, or both? GRRM chose to cut it, anyway, so the sentiment may well come back at a later point, much like the insights in the Prince of Sorrows.

Basically, while the emphasis on Sansa's identity is a pleasantly unambiguous support for her (already obvious) trajectory north in GRRM's own mind, I don't think we'll get much else out of this outline that isn't already in the text one way or the other. We shouldn't be too literal with the notes in there because he wasn't writing an explanation of his plot, he was writing an extremely self-referential little to-do list that may be as reliable as the to-do lists I write for myself on a day off: i.e., I end up doing one thing and scrap the rest in favor of lying around on my couch.

#affc outline #grrm #asoiaf speculation

[wildissylupus]

Hi! i know you already get those asks but i really want to vent: i think them making pharmercy canon now would not be satisfating for me - im a lesbian, i feel like there was no indication since the game release that they have anything for each other, if anything mercy was very close to genji, they were very sutil with that, and all pharmercy 'flirt' lines are so recent feels like rushed. One of my favorite lesbian ships ever is Caitlyn and Vi from league, they construed they relationship for YEARs, from partners to lovers and just NOW in 2023 after years and everything they confirmed both as lesbians and even in Arcane they doing great with their romance. another exemple is leona and diana and killjoy with reze in valorant, compared with overwatch feels like they dont know how to develop a organic/fresh relationship between their female characters from the game, rigth now looks just pandering for me.

And yeah I do see where your coming from, Gency has had years of build up in canon while Pharmercy has just started being pushed. Though because of the fact that in the past we've seen OW writers say that they ship Pharmercy I don't think it pandering exactly. I think it's more wish fulfilment.

I also agree with what you're saying about what happened in other games when it comes to LGBTQ+ rep, those ships have had build up. To the point where I, a person who doesn't play either game, know what your talking about. I myself am also a lesbian and I have recognized Pharah as lesbian coded since I first got into Overwatch, which was back in 2016, they've had plenty of time to add things like voice lines or lore to this relationship but they haven't. I looked up their old Overwatch 1 interactions for this post and basically none of them have that flirting vibe that the new voice lines have, most of the personal ones being Mercy saying how she thinks Ana would be proud of Pharah and Pharah just going "are we talking about the same person here?"

Also I've stated it briefly in other posts on Pharmercy but I just don't think they would work, at least they wouldn't stay a couple for a long time. A big thing that people forget when it comes to Pharmercy is that Angela has a lot of issues she needs to sort out, one of those being her terrible communication skills and her ability to say goodbye to people. The reason this is important is because Fareeha has abandonment issues, and we see how Angela's inability to communicate already affects their relationship in "As You Are", we clearly see that Angela leaving without saying goodbye affected Pharah.

This also culminates into this being a story where one person has to wait for the other to sort out their issues, which is something I don't want for Pharah. This plot line with Gency works because it's mutual. If Pharah is going to be with someone I either want them to be dealing with something that Pharah can actually help with (like Symmetra and her inevitable identity crisis) or for her partner to be just as sure of herself as Pharah is (like Sombra or Kiriko).

Again I don't want Pharah to have to wait for Angela to get her issues sorted out, she already has to wait for her mother to come back, she shouldn't have to wait for her romantic life either, and Angela's problems are not something Pharah is really equipped to help with. We actually see how Genji and Angela talk while Pharah tends to offer silent support.

I don't hate Pharmercy and under different circumstances I think they would work, however, not only are the writers kind of fumbling to get me invested but Pharah and Mercy have so many things working against them on a personal level. Not only that but they're fundementally different morally, I think a lot of people forget that Angela doesn't like helix calling them mercenaries with no regard for civilian life, while knowing full well that Pharah works for Helix. That kind of difference would work in a friendship but that would not go well in a romantic relationship.

Anyway, again I don't hate Pharmercy, it's not one of my top ships but I do like it. However, what has been presented in canon either just doesn't get me invested or I just don't want to see happen in terms of characterization (again Pharah shouldn't have to wait for her romantic life in the same way she needs to wait for her family).

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch lore #overwatch headcanons #analysis #angela ziegler #ow mercy #mercy overwatch #mercy #pharah #pharah overwatch #fareeha amari

[wtftarot]

PAC Reading: The Lovers

This is NOT a love reading in the usual sense.

The Lovers card is about love (obviously) whether romantic love, platonic love, familial love, or self-love. But it’s also about duality, balance, and choice. So, I honestly don’t have a damn clue what’s going to come out in this reading. Maybe it’ll be about your relationships with others or yourself, maybe about how you view love in general, maybe it’ll be about the choices you're making, or maybe about the duality you have inside you that you need to embrace. I guess we’ll just fuck around and find out together. *

*edit: It's focused on your view of love and relationships, so if you don't give a shit about that, you won't give a shit about this reading.*

My readings can be a bit intense, so read-only if you have the mental and emotional energy to do so.

This reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional help in any capacity. Remember you are responsible for your choices. Use common sense and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Angel, the (very blurry) Snake or the Mountain and head to your reading.

The Angel

So, first, there's one quick, direct message for those of you who recently broke up with someone and are wondering if you should get back together with that person: No, you shouldn't. It would be better for both of you to take some more time. I just got slapped in the face with that message.

So, first, there's one quick, direct message for those of you who recently broke up with someone and are wondering if you should get back together with that person: No, you shouldn't. It would be better for both of you to take some more time. I just got slapped in the face with that message.

If that didn't resonate with you don't worry, I have more for the rest of y'all. I think y'all have this perception of love that may be tripping you up. This doesn't have to be just romantic love, it can be love of any sort. Y'all seem to be expecting it to fulfill you in ways a relationship with another person just can't. Then when it doesn't meet your expectations you think that something is wrong with you or them or the relationship as a whole. I know it may seem nice to think that you don't need anyone outside of this person, but it's not. Sorry, to be blunt with ya, but babe, this view is really holding you back and keeping you from having good, solid relationships. It's okay to have a support system outside this person, and it's okay if they have one outside of you. Your significant other can't give you support the way your best friend can, and vis versa. You have some friends you go to when you need practical advice, others you go to when you need emotional advice and a few when you need help hiding a body. To look at things the other way for a second. You can't/shouldn't be everything to someone. Listen, meaning everything to someone and having to be everything for someone are different things. You can't meet all of someone's needs all the time and that's okay. You shouldn't have to. They should have friends outside of you to hang out with when you're busy, and so should you. You need to establish yourself outside of this relationship. Or if you're not in a relationship, you need to establish yourself without one. It's okay to lean on another person when you need it but this doesn't seem to be only when things are hard. ( I know I said this could be any sorta relationship but it's ending up more focused on a romantic one) It's like you need another person to give you an identity. Like the things you do mean nothing if you're not in a relationship. Like you're worth is centered on this relationship. Ok, quick thing, if someone ever tells you that you are nothing without them or that no one will ever love you as much as they do, tell them to fuck off, okay? Because that is a fucking lie. There are so many people on this planet that will love the everfucking shit out of you and them saying that is proof that they don't see your value. Trust me, I've been there. Fuck them, you deserve better. The Lovers card is telling all y'all to see your value in yourselves outside of a relationship and that it's okay to be independent IN a relationship. There are things that only you can fulfill in yourself, another person can help but ultimately it's up to you. It's like you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. They can help, but you've got to be the one that does it. Find interests that are just your own. Go out with friends and do things you know that person won't enjoy, it's okay. You are two separate people, it's okay to be separate.

Random ass vibes: Wishes, if you felt drawn to either of the other piles go check them out, queen, dandelions, libra, cancer, rollerskating,

Remember to take a minute and relax. Tarot readings can be taxing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so self care is important. Even if it's just listening to a song and chilling for a minute. Let yourself decompress.

The Snake

Okay, so y'all and the third group have different perspectives on the same issue if that makes sense? If parts of this resonate but the main message doesn't, you should go check out the third group.

It seems like all y'all think that all relationships have to be hard or dysfunctional or controlling or toxic. Now, there are a fuck ton of reasons why someone would think that all relationships end up or have to be a lil toxic (they don't). Some of y'all may have only had toxic relationships as role models. Some of y'all may have been in one or two bad relationships and think that's how it will always be. Some of you just think that it's normal. Some of y'all have internalized some shitty media romances and are romanizing toxic shit. And okay, I'm not judging y'all, this is just what came out for your reading. I know this is a big ass can of worms I'm opening here but I'm gonna do it. However, if you don't wanna deal with that then you don't have to, I'm calling it now some of this may bother you but you don't have to read any more than you want to. As for the rest of y'all Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here.

It's kinda cool that y'all chose the Snake and this is your message. In Rider-Waite tarot symbolism, the snake is used to represent temptation or deceit. I think that's how y'all seem to view relationships, as something you have to trick the other person into or as you and the other person always trying to get one over on the other. Again, not judging this is a very common view people have of relationships. Thinking that it's you against the other person, instead of you both working together. Y'all may feel like being in a relationship means controlling or being controlled. Now it may be subtle though and you may not realize that's what it is. Here are some examples: deciding who you/they can or cannot talk to, deciding what you/they can or can't wear, and demanding access to your/their private space or objects (journals, phone, computer .etc). Now, if you read those and are now thinking 'what if they cheat' or the like here's my blunt ass advice: DUMP THEM. I'm serious. If you cannot trust them not to cheat on you, why the fuck are you with them? Hey, I warned you at the beginning. That was a serious question. Why the fuck would you date someone who you cannot trust not to cheat? You deserve a relationship you feel secure in, one that makes you feel safe. Constantly having to check just fuels the worry in the long run. Now, I wish I could say that that's the end of the cards calling y'all out but it's not, sorry. It looks like y'all are romanizing toxic things in relationships and the cards are bringing all of this up because your guides want you to be happy. They want you to be in a gorgeous, happy, healthy relationship and you will not get that as long as you keep seeing red flags as desirable. I think y'all need to ask yourselves why you think a relationship can only be interesting if it's hard. I'm hearing something along the lines of 'that's boring' and wow. Ok then, if you seriously think a toxic ass, semi abusive relationship is 'spicy' then go. Go have at it, enjoy, Come back to this reading when you realize that you deserve better. As for the rest of y'all, your guides are asking you to change your perspective on love and relationships. Y'all may think that a person being controlling, possessive or jealous are signs of love, so when a relationship doesn't have them you feel like something is wrong or that they don't care about you. The Lovers card is here asking you to reevaluate what you see as love. Do you see causing or being hurt as love? Why do you see it that way? Why isn't feeling happy and safe in a relationship enough? These can be some really hard questions to answer. The reason they're being asked though is part of y'all's last message. There is someone out there for y'all, someone your guides have in mind and are wanting to send your way but they're not going to because as of right now you two (or three, I just heard) are not good for each other. The way it's being shown to me is that your guides are not going to let you hurt something great, so they're here asking you to learn to handle relationships with care. To learn to be handled with care. They're saving this relationship for you until you're ready, but you have to actually get ready. Part of that is realizing what you're romanticizing isn't healthy and isn't good for you or the other person.

Random ass vibes: 7, 77, high school drama, romantic books, wolves, Capricorn, Leo, beetles, doodles, ripped jeans, black and white photos

Remember to take a minute and relax. Tarot readings can be taxing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so self care is important. Even if it's just listening to a song and chilling for a minute. Let yourself decompress.

The Mountain

So, quick ass note: y'all and the second group have very different perspectives of the same issue, so if parts of this resonate but the overall message doesn't maybe check out that group. (if you wanna read both just to see what I mean, go ahead.)

Y'all seem to think that all relationships (romantic or otherwise) have to be hard, only a responsibility, toxic, manipulative or controlling and this is making you avoid most close relationships entirely out of fear. It's interesting to me that this message came out for those who chose the Mountain because in Rider-Waite tarot imagery the mountain symbolizes the hardships standing between us and others, that's why it's between the man and the woman on the card. And y'all only seem to see relationships as hardships. Ooh, You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi is playing on the radio. Y'all have recently been through some shit when it comes to relationships with others. You may have had okay romantic relationships, but a shitty one with a friend and now that's affecting your view of romantic ones, or some variation like that. Maybe the only role models you had for relationships as a kid were shitty ones. Maybe you think that you only deserve shitty relationships. Which is shit. Absolute fucking shit. You deserve better okay? Okay. Now, whatever the reason why, you think that this is the only way a relationship can be. It's like you think relationships are something to be endured, rather than enjoyed. So, you avoid them. There's this part of you that's been trying to protect you by keeping you from being close to others. While that's a valiant cause, it's very misguided. You are now looking at every nice thing a person does as a bribe or a con. You're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting, expecting someone to pull the rug out from under you and reveal that it was a sham. Honey, I am feeling so fucking protective over this group like I just want to rip whoever hurt you's throat out. Y'all deserve to feel fucking safe. Yes, you do. I think there's a deeper thing happening here, where y'all feel like you can't trust yourself or your own judgment. There's this thing that some of y'all need to realize. For some of you that shitty person wanted you to feel like you couldn't trust anyone or yourself. They wanted you to look at everyone as a threat, that was actually their goal. and holy fucking shit that pisses me off. They wanted you to be scared because they knew you could find someone better if you weren't. GOD. I'm sorry, but I hate whoever made you feel like that. Actually, no, I'm not sorry. Now, the message for all y'all is first to re-learn your own agency in relationships with others. Relationships are not 'oh they said x thing to me and that really hurt me, and that's just how it is' No. Fuck no. You do not have to accept it when people are shitty towards you. You nip that shit in the bud, cut it out. Set boundaries. Especially in new relationships. You gotta tell them they can't talk to you like that. I just heard 'i don't want to scare them off.' Honey, yes you do. If they don't like the fact that they can't treat you like shit then why the fuck would you want them around? They obviously don't value you enough to treat you with basic fuckin respect. You seem to think you're at the whims of the people around you, and if they treat you bad you just have to take it. If you are in a situation where you literally cannot set boundaries without some sort of serious backlash, find a support system outside of this person or community. Even if you can't get out of it right now, having a support system will help you stay sane and stay afloat. Trust me, I've been there. For all y'all, those shitty people are the ones who are fucked. You will find good people. People who will respect your boundaries, but you have to set them and respect them first.

Random ass vibes: 8,88, angels, salads, plants, rock bands, fish, fairies, cows, woods, art journals.

Remember to take a minute and relax. Tarot readings can be taxing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so self-care is important. Even if it's just listening to a song and chilling for a minute. Let yourself decompress.

#tarot readings #tarot reading #tarot #divination #tarot community #tarot cards #tarot deck #pac reading #pick a pile #pick a picture

[thesnivy123]

Bug fables spoilers, particularly leif's request, under the cut

Okay okay so. Zommoth, right? Particularly their dynamic with Leif?

Now, I'm all for angst. I'm all for a couple of mothshrooms fighting to the death. But... well, i've got a take that i haven't actually seen before. found family those fungus.

Imagine if it turned out that Zommoth attacking Team Snakemouth was just some sort of misunderstanding. Maybe they were scared, maybe they were trying to protect their territory, hell, maybe they saw Leif as kin and assumed the other two were trying to hurt him. Now, imagine that, after that big fight, they get back up.

And they don't try and finish the job.

Now, honestly, I think Leif... never really accepted the truth. Leif's Request is optional. It had to be wrapped up nicely so it wouldn't affect the main story too much- Of course, this means the conclusion turns out feeling kinda forced... But maybe Leif is coping with denial. Maybe he's not actually at peace with what he is. Maybe he's scared, scared that he's dangerous, scared of what harm he could possibly cause whether or not he wanted to.

And now, he's face to face with someone who's a lot like him. A lot less... alive-looking, sure. Maybe a bit closer to a vaguely sentient weird dog than a full person. but they’re like him, in a way.

I think Leif and Zommoth being buddies is a really good dynamic. Siblings, even- And I think Zommoth's presence could help Leif with his issues in a way that, sadly, Vi and Kabbu wouldn't be able to. The support of friends can do wonders, sure, but when your troubles are something so terrifyingly unique to you, like, yknow, learning you're a parasite in a dead man's corpse?

it would be nice to have someone to relate to. Not just relate to- Someone to heal alongside of. Someone who's still in a similar situation to you, someone who's like you right NOW, who hasn't healed yet. Somebody who can help you learn to love yourself while still needing helpnof their own. I think Zommoth fits that niche very nicely for Leif- Sure, they're probably not having an identity crisis like he is, but... They're a cordyceps too. They're like him. And they're DEFINITELY going through some serious fuckin' trauma, you canNOT tell me that a giant zombified lab experiment wouldn't have issues.

I think theyd work nicely as friends, in the sense that they're essentially eachothers therapy dogs. Leif helping Zommoth recover from the years of isolation and the experiments and maybe whatever shattered bits of memories might be left over from their host. Zommoth teaching Leif how to care for himself in the way he actually needs to, as a fungus, not a moth. To accept that, even if he doesn't like it, he can’t change what he is, and neglecting his needs as a Cordyceps won't change the fact that he's a Cordyceps.

in other words- i propose the Cordysibs AU. let Zommoth join the found family. they deserve it.

#bug fables spoilers #bug fables leif #bug fables zommoth #bug fables #leifs request spoilers #leifs request #i just think theyre neat

[stardustedknuckles]

Hi there! I’m a cis dude who might get to play a super-fluid nb changeling in my next campaign, and I wanted to thank you for posting your thoughts about that dichotomy vis a vis Quay Seelie. Part of my reason for wanting to was to explore what you talked about (and fun mechanical interactions), and hearing your earlier comments about changelings being a fantasy for non cis people really solidified giving it a try. If you have any more thoughts on the subject would you care to share?

Oh I could wax about the inherent nb factor to changelings all day! I love them. My changeling grew up raised by a group of them who shared personas between them. So out of the six, any one of them could take on the "mom" persona and the "dad" persona and each was as valid as the other. To literally become that persona is so much more than just changing a face. It's a life with history and a way of looking at the world. I also had a third gender parent because why wouldn't they? So these five changelings grew up as friends and they're essentially in a poly relationship with relationships within that. If it hurts your brain to try and suss out, then you're on the right track. There's no DNA to worry about when you can alter your own, there's just the community looking out for its own and the power imbalances that could come from like, a kid playing at being an adult etc. So my character nyx grew up with a brother that was also technically a cousin and they were two of four kids of their main communal group. The changeling who took on the role of Mom for nine months was different three of four times but the Mom persona was essentially the same person. Like I said, if it sounds like it almost makes sense but doesn't, you've got it.

That's the kind of stuff I love to play with. That's the fluidity afforded by a race and character that can not only look like anyone but spend time becoming them. Personas as legacies, as stories passed through generations. So much of the lore around changelings emphasizes how untrustworthy people find them, but my DM runs their world in good faith and let me tell you, things are so much more fun when you can experience being a changeling freely. Maybe there are individual people a little freaked that you can look like them, but without a systemic prejudice and mistrust there's no element of hiding yourself that you HAVE to carry (as a trans person) into the role. Maybe as a cis person you'll enjoy the sense of needing to hide, of having a secret if your DM rules that there's a prejudice against your kind. It's not necessarily what I want in a game of escapism. (and I'm aware you could be different in other ways that relate to masking or hiding too, but as gender and presentation go it's so inherent to changelings!)

I hope you have a blast playing them. I hope the ability to change as easily as breathing informs something great about your character and provides a great conduit for discovering and playing out facets of your own identity and values. I think you'll have a great time with them.

It's also very fun to get into the technicalities of changing into someone when you have to guess what's under their clothes lmao. I mean with a lifetime of experience you get the shape right without even having to try but what if there's a birthmark on their butt you've never seen? What's their dick gonna look like if you've only ever seen them clothed? What are the implications of being able to adjust your own voice box such that you can perfectly pass as a kenku because when you mimic the sound of water or rocks falling it is flawless? Do you want a tail? Rules as written say you have to have roughly the same humanoid configuration but my DM says since humans have a vestigial tail it's okay for my forms to have them so long as I don't try to break the game with it. Good faith playing opens up so many doors.

I hope you have the best time with them!

#Asked and answered #Mundnd

[coffeewritesfiction]

The Omega Detective A Retrowave/80s inspired omegaverse vigilante detective series Setting: An alternate 1980s Miami [I think?] Tropes: brilliant inventor heroine - badass Omega - secret identities - villain reverse harem - slowest of slow burns - enemies to lovers - 80s nostalgia/retrofuturism - tv show inspired format

Deisi met the Big Bad Wolfe. A wrong turn that could’ve snuffed out her life, she walked into the wrong mall and right into a crime scene in progress. But like he said - she was just some lil Omega. Nobody would ever believe her. He let her go, and gunshots followed her out. It’s a decade of change, they say. But Deisi can’t get a job outside of the library because no one wants to hire a mateless Omega. Her neighbors mean well but they still call her ‘sweet girl’ and invite themselves over with strangers for her to meet. She tinkers alone in basements and garages, listening to the radio, padding her paycheck with repair jobs and babysitting. She’s not sure there’s anything sweet left in her anymore. People are angry. You can feel it sizzle in the heat. Crooked cops and sleazy businessmen, night club drugs and money to burn. Gunshots in the darkness. Bodies on the beach. Desperate people. Something’s gotta give. Somebody’s gotta do something. Deisi’s found a way to change. To switch her scent and her appearance and be seen as an Alpha. She’s gonna put that to the only possible use she can. Deisi met the Big Bad Wolfe, and saw him face to face. Deisi’s just an Omega, nobody’s gonna listen. But she’ll make them listen. She’ll make the whole city sit up and pay attention. Deisi De La Rosa is the Omega Detective, and she’s not letting any of it go again.

CONTEXT: 

My friend Jay challenged me to just let loose with this idea. So that's what I'm gonna do. 

This story is inspired by 70s/80s copoganda shows, especially Miami Vice, so I’m theming it similarly. Each part is an ‘episode’ - each episode is part of a season. For now I’ll be releasing the episodes for free but eventually I’ll bundle them all up and sell the ‘season’ somewhere with some extras, like ‘behind the scene footage’ or ‘deleted scenes’, etc etc. IDK, I think it’s fun.

Each episode will be well under 50k words - maybe novelette or novella length, maybe short stories, I haven't decided yet

It might get 'spicy' but I’m not actually sure. We’ll see!

This story is junk food reading. I’m not trying to make anything challenging here. I want to have fun, and make sure the reader has fun. This is gonna be a solid 3 out of 5 star series.

THE VIBES:

Pulp as hell tbh

Palm trees, beaches, neon, sunscreen, boom boxes, big hair, short shorts, warm rain

Smuggling, trafficking, robbery, kidnapping, drugs, prostitution, corruption, the dark side of the decade of excess

In other words, 80s nostalgia that goes deeper than cheap pop culture references [looking at you, RPO]

Kpop! Yes, really. It’s my story, damn it. I do what I want. I don't care if it's the wrong decade, I want to have fun.

MAIN CHARACTERS... SO FAR

Deisi De La Rosa: A Latina Omega with a bright smile and boundless energy, a love of technology and science, and a way of getting into people’s hearts. No one would ever connect her to…

The Detective: An Alpha vigilante and private detective, she has a short height and sharp mind. She doesn’t play games when lives are on the line - and they always are. 

Hazel Carpenter: a Black 15 year old gamer Deisi sometimes babysits. She loves arcades, flavored lip gloss, bright colors and boy bands. A surprisingly good source of information.

The Big Bad Wolfe: A notorious criminal that haunts the city streets. He's got a lot of connections and never lets anyone who sees his face survive - with one exception. Currently the only white person in the cast, which was not on purpose but I'm rolling with it.

VI-Lains: A six man musical group from South Korea who crashed onto the world stage, bringing with them bad boy appeal and intense good looks. Hazel is obsessed with them. Deisi is baffled.

Blacklist: A mysterious criminal organization from overseas, there’s not much information on them or the appearance of the six masked men in the city who work for them. Look, you can connect the dots here, it’s gonna be revealed in the first ‘episode’ anyway. 

STATUS CHECK: Planning and world building; ETA Episode 1 - Spring 2023?

Note: I have a very outdated blog dedicated to an older version of this idea. If there's a desire I'll move most of my work on this over there. There's also an Instagram but I don't really use Instagram...

#writeblr #wip intro #writing wip #current wip #I see you kpop fans following this blog - here's a thing for you #I won't let my insecurity get to me this time #kpop original character

[loveoverhate]

Hello, welcome to my blog. I am a trans woman, for safety purposes I will not give out my name but if a name is required you can call me Vi.

The purpose of this blog is to provide information to people who are trying to leave hateful groups, or are questioning a hateful ideology. Most of the hateful rhetoric I see on this website is terf or "gender critical" rhetoric so I will be primarily focused on those talking points however I am always willing to answer questions to the best of my ability on other topics. I am not an expert, so there are going to be many things I do not know about. If I get something wrong I will correct myself to the best of my ability. I may not be very active on this blog as to avoid getting into arguments with people, so please excuse inactivity. I may occasionally interact with other people's posts.

With that out of the way, let's move on to some common questions/concerns that I've noticed around Tumblr, this list may grow with time.

• I've had negative interactions with trans people before.

Maybe a trans person was rude to you at a coffee shop, maybe a trans person harassed you, maybe you are detrans and there are trans people who pushed you into an identity that was not your own. Whatever the reason, I am sorry that happened to you. Not every trans person is going to be a perfect person, not every trans person is going to be a good person, this is true for other groups of people as well. If a black person makes you angry, are you going to assume that all black people must be terrible? If someone in a wheelchair catcalls you, do you assume every disabled person is a pervert? If you grew up around a homosexual person who abused you, do you view every gay person as abusive? If your answer to any of those questions is "yes", I suggest you take some time to examine your own internal biases.

• Aren't trans people just perpetuating gender stereotypes, therefore perpetuating patriarchy?

For this statement to be true one would have to ignore the existence of trans women who present masculine because they like presenting that way, trans men who present feminine because they enjoy it, and people of various genders who express themselves in ways that are not traditionally masculine and feminine, and thinking like that is simply not realistic. Often trans/queer spaces are the most accepting of GNC (gender non-conforming) people. Just as with cis women and men, trans women and men can often present in a way that you deem "traditional" because that's how they feel most comfortable, because they are reclaiming the presentation, or because they just like whatever they are wearing, also not every trans person (or cis person for that matter) is going to present themselves the same way every day. All of this also applies to interests as well.

• My religion says ___

Look, I really don't think I'm going to convince you your religious views are wrong, all I can say is to think critically about who is giving you that information, and what ulterior motives they may have in doing so. Who is telling you these things? A man or a god? Who wrote the scripture on paper? Could that scripture have been changed by bad actors in the countless years since it's creation?

•Trans people are pedophiles/groomers/trying to trans your kids

In a very similar way to the religious arguments I don't think there's anything I could say or any evidence I could give you that would convince you this isn't true if you truly believe it, however I can say that this is just a recycled anti-gay talking point that most of us have heard before. The amount of trans people who are sex offenders is very small, however that is likely irrelevant to people who believe the claim that trans people are pedophiles as they tend to believe trans people simply not hiding themselves away is a sexual offense, quite honestly it's just old fashioned objectification. Trans people are also not trying to make your children trans, however a wave of laws in various US states are attempting to make trans children cisgender.

• If trans people have rights, that doesn't take away your rights

I've not heard many people claim otherwise, but a lot of people seem to think that trans people having rights means they will have less rights, as though rights are a commodity. To other marginalized groups all I can say is this: trans people are willing to fight along side you for rights, and often have throughout history.

• I've done bad things/ said bad things/ been generally hateful, can I change/ do I deserve redemption?

Now this may be a controversial opinion, but I don't believe in bad and good people, just good and bad actions. I think you can change if you are willing to stop doing bad/hateful things. This does not mean that the people you hurt should forgive or trust you, they have every right not to and ultimately you should change because you want to do good in the world, not because you expect forgiveness. I have talked mostly about transphobia, but this applies widely to other areas. It is never too late to start doing good, but you must also be willing to accept consequences for things you may have done.

•I am [insert sexual orientation] and I don't include trans people in that, am I transphobic?

This is actually a pretty complex question. Is it transphobic to have a genital preference? Not on it's own no, but if you are attracted exclusively to men and exclusively to penises AND you include trans women in that you are just saying you view trans women as men, and that is pretty transphobic. Are you not attracted to trans people in general regardless of a genitals? That's kinda transphobic. Are you attracted to women and solely attracted to vaginas and also constantly talk about how you aren't attracted to trans people? Yeah that's pretty transphobic. Are you assuming you know what genitals someone has based on their status as trans or intersex? Transphobic. Regardless, if you are the kind of person that obsesses over this question it's likely trans people in general are not attracted to you.

[thetriggeredhappy]

(tw: ed) i want to say from the beginning that you don't have to read this at all but i recently read "chosen or otherwise deserves..." and it struck a chord with me. you're an excellent writer and really got deep into the matter without it being too much. the way that you've written sniper has always made me point and go "he's just like me!"

there were a few moments in there that reminded me a lot of when i was trying to recover from an ed on my own because i had tried my damned hardest to not let anyone find out during more intense cycles. the focus on him eating a meal (or consistently snacking) at least once a day in particular really spoke to me. if you don't mind me asking: was that implication intentional or was it something you hadn't really thought about? or do you not remember because that's totally understandable lol

um, thank you so much if you do respond to this. it's a lot of explanation for a simple question because i'm tired and got worried about commenting on the actual fic

(thanks for tossing the e.d. trigger warning up there, i’m gonna add a few more to my response here: warnings for discussion of depression, anxiety, self-destructive behaviors, etc etc)

short answer: yes

long answer: when i write characters, in particular from their point of view, and further in particular when that fic focuses on mental health and emotional well-being, consider a healthy 95% of what i write vis-a-vis symptoms and behaviors to be intentional. not to talk too much about my factual personal life (which i don’t enjoy doing even on good days, i’m a very private person by nature), but comorbitity is my middle name, and what little i don’t write from personal experience, i write from the experience of having others around me who are willing to openly discuss the day-to-day of living with debilitating emotional states. the very few times i receive a comment or feedback about a symptom i’ve written that i didn’t intend, it’s usually because i’d assumed that the symptom was a fact of life, or a side-effect of being (insert facet of self-identity that i possess). in that way, comments like this one can sometimes be pretty enlightening for me, or for other people, and i appreciate them a lot—sometimes it’s like… a version of me, many years ago, when that symptom was more prominent in my life, was noticed. like someone saw it, and acknowledged it. i think it would’ve been good for me, and it makes me feel better to know that other people get to feel noticed and acknowledged when they read about it.

(in this case, i absolutely knew this was an e.d. sort of problem already—my relationship with food has been complicated for the majority of my life, by now, even if i’m getting there, slowly but surely. it helps that i’m a pretty good cook thanks to perfectionism, and live with people who enjoy being cooked for.)

i really need to update “chosen or otherwise” at some point. i keep meaning to, every few months i’ve started drafting another chapter for it, but there’s other things on my list too that are being pretty distracting. it definitely doesn’t feel finished, as it is.

#shut up me #everybody talks #thanks for the ask! also i feel you abt being nervous abt comments #honestly i’m too nervous to answer comments half the time. its a lifestyle

[ravenkinnie]

I wonder how Jinx would react if someone were to actually leave her. Imagine Vi deciding to leave her behind on purpose or silco deciding one day (before his death of course) to let her go because she was detrimental to his dream. They wouldn’t do that because they love(d) her obviously, but me thinks this would cause Jinx to absolutely lose herself.

before his death of course jdjdjdjsjjs he took abandonment to the extreme by dying :/

I feel like we do know because it's like... okay, like we, the audience, know that nobody actually left or betrayed jinx - like we KNOW that vi in ep3 is only walking like twenty steps away to cool off and then ends up in stillwater, we know that she never actually intended to leave jinx behind. but that's not jinx's reality, in HER reality vi did leave her. and we did see that she did lose herself - or rather that her entire development became warped by how intensely traumatic that experience of (imagined) abandonment was. jinx seems to place a lot of her identity on who she is to the one central person in her life (vi and then silco), like when vi came back and she started to have these conflicting narratives about the person she should be to keep both of them or either in her life

but of course, vi didn't tell her she was leaving her, they never had this breaking moment - but we kindaaaa got that with silco, when jinx hears him talk about the deal with piltover and she does think that he speaks about betraying her. again, we know he won't take the deal, there's not a single moment in the episode where abandoning jinx is even raised as a possible choice to him, but in jinx's reality that was going to be the case. and what she does is act out against him

(interesting thing ig is that we don't actually know what she was planning to do before she even heard about that deal, we know she already kidnapped caitlyn at that point so she was planning something but we just don't know how she would have escalated things if she didn't feel like another person was betraying her now)

anyways, she sets up this elaborate scene where the whole point is that she wants someone to choose her, that she wants to be told who she is because she does lose herself, I don't think she even really feels like her own person. I think if vi told her straight up that she's done it would have a similar effect where that aspect of her identity would feel completed, gone, I don't think she would necessarily be able to fully cut emotional ties to vi because jinx doesn't seem like a person who can do that (silco seems more like this type ngl) so she would probably act out against her in some ways (rip caitlyn maybe that's who would get caught in cross fire hdjdhdjjs)

#asks #jinx

[lbashes]

I am SHOOK. The plot thickens!!

This, is the single most funny and cute thing I have read today, and I think, well I should perhaps clear it up?

So, the way prompts work on this blog is, every serie is recognisable by the same nametag, as for the Arslân-Tahamine-Osroe-Andragoras plot (will be shortening as ATOA in this ask for clarity purposes). So the ATOA plot is currently composed of three prompts all linked through by the ‘previous’ and ‘next’ buttons. The unnamed Arlsân-Daryûn-Kind Andragoras (unbelievable, I know) is a separate serie (bolded for comprehension purposes). So that's that! Two arslân stories!!!

Also, I will quickly resume the plot ATOA as I figured it could definitely get difficult to understand in a prompt format. But the next prompt will shed light! So don't worry too much.

I think it is also important to underline that I have not caught up with Arslân's story since it was first animated with Season One, which I am aware brings a huge chance of going against the source material in these series. I purposely did not catch up through spoils as I believe this makes the writing of these series more enjoyable, and written with the plot twists I would have set if I were the author.m, without any pretension of course.

In we who thrive in the heart of the desert (ATOA), Tahamine hails from Maryam (different from canon) and is the sister of the Queen consort of Maryam. She gets married to Osroes when she is quite certainly underage, as weddings were in antic days. (same as canon, as Osroes dies when she is only 20). So, she is very young when she marries him and he refuses to bed her until she is of age. Andragoras, on the other hand, wishes to have her for himself (same as canon). A few months Tahamine gives birth to her first child (relevant for the story), roughly 19 years old, Andragoras does not kill Osroes ‘quietly’ like in canon, but rather seizes power from him with an insurrection during what I call the Grand Fire of Pars. This is meant to underline his flawed character and push him toward the irredeemable path. He is NOT a good person in ATOA, compared to the second serie.

THEN. When Andragoras kills Osroes and forcefully marries Tahamine, she is already with child, her second son Arslân (the date of birth is different from canon, in 304-305 instead of 306). The identity of the first child is currently unknown. Fearing for her unborn child, Tahamine hides from Andragoras until she gives birth to Arlsân unbeknownst to him, and sends him with a trusted nanny to Myriam so he can be raised by her sister in safety.

There, Arslân grows as the adopted prince of Maryam. Andragoras invades Maryam roughly in 317 (same as canon), when Arslân is 13-14 years old. At this point, the king is killed and the Queen consort who fostered Arslân is demanded to sign a treaty in which she agrees to provide her own heir (Arlsân) were Pars to lack an heir. Andragoras has an heir (not with Tahamine), who dies, and prompts Arslân's return to Pars.

Another change from canon: in this série, Gieve is not a traveling musician (well, he is, but it is his cover) but Arlsân's retainer, which low-key translates to a knight-servant of hight rank. He is also Arslân’s cousin.

So, with how the story is set now, Arslân who is the biological son of Tahamine, will go to Pars to fulfill his duty as Maryam's heir and enter the palaca as the adopted son of Andragoras who is totally unaware that he is taking in the actual and legitimate heir to the throne he stone, save for the first child of Tahamine and Osroes (will be revealed in part V or VI). This is bound to be a very fun moment for dear old Andragoras.

In comparison, the Arslân-Daryûn-Kind Andragoras série is much less heavy-plotted and something I indulge in as character studies if I wish to write of the legend of arslân and not drown in the political drama. Hope this has been helpful! I will post a prompt today about Tahamine's view which will be inserted between part two and part three. I completely overlooked that this should happen sooner than later for clarity.

tldr; two different séries, Tahamine has two children with Osroes the latter being Arslân, and he's coming back to Pars with his best friend Gieve to kick the tyran's ass. We love to see it.

#we who thrive in the heart of the desert #thank you for your interest in my work! #i'm currently going back and forth between demon slayer and the legend of arslan after a very #VERY #long fire emblem period

[analytically]

Books I read in 2023

This is a bit late, but I wanted to post about the books I read last year, partly because it's fun and partly because I think it'll motivate me to read more in 2024. I'm excluding books I read for classes unless there's something I have to say about them, and I'm also excluding one nonfiction, political book I read at the start of the year, because I don't remember it well enough to share my opinions accurately.

Fiction

The Ministry for the Future (2020) by Kim Stanley Robinson

A pretty good book; it's about various groups working in the near future to fight climate change, some of which resort to extralegal tactics. It presents a pretty bleak future with a high level of impact from climate change; I thought it was good, but if you're the type of person who catastrophizes about climate change it may not be the best book for you. There's a lot of procedural stuff and description of how organizations work, too — it's not just describing suffering. This book has a moderately anti-capitalist message.

Invisible Man (1952) by Ralph Ellison

Reading this book is an interesting experience; Ellison's writing style is often quite surreal and reading can feel like walking through thick grass. If you don't like that, you may not want to read this book. It's about an African-American man who moves from the South to New York in the 20th century (pre-Civil Rights Movement), and his experiences along the way. There are strong political messages here, although they're less obvious 70 years on. Black nationalism/separatism are discussed and critiqued, and the main character ultimately ends up isolated from society.

The Truth (2000) by Terry Pratchett

This is a fantasy novel about the first newspaper in a society. It's pretty great — one of the best of the Discworld books I read this year. It's got a pro-journalism message.

Going Postal (2004) and Making Money (2007) by Terry Pratchett

These two Discworld novels, in a medieval fantasy setting, are both about Moist von Lipwig, a clever criminal who's spared from execution by the city's mostly-benevolent tyrant and forced to become a civil servant instead. He reopens the postal system and invents fiat currency (in this way we get a look at the institutions of our own civilization), becoming more ethical and exposing corruption along the way. Both books are good, but I think Going Postal is a little better.

Huda F Are You? (2021) and Huda F Cares? (2023) by Huda Fahmy

These are a pair of semiautobiographical graphic novels about a Muslim teenager growing up in Michigan. Huda F Are You? focuses on the protagonist's struggle to define her identity and make friends in middle school; it was emotionally engaging and quite relatable. I wish I had been able to read it when I was in middle school! Huda F Cares? focuses on the protagonist's relationship with her siblings and her struggle to practice her religion, despite prejudice from society and her friends' at times differing values. I found it slightly less compelling than Huda F Are You?, but still definitely a book worth reading! Perhaps that's because I'm an irreligious only child.

Klara and the Sun (2021) by Kazuo Ishiguro

This book is definitely science fiction, but it has a much more personal and melancholy tone than most sci-fi books. It's told through the perspective of an unusually perceptive and empathetic robot who worships the Sun, in a world where... well, it would be spoilers to talk about how different the world is! Let's just say that the book explores loneliness, intelligence and its relationship to society, and the possible effects of technological progress. I've heard that this book is supposed to deal with AI, but I found its message to be pretty far from the concerns raised by recent advances in large language models (LLMs) and image generation. I'd say that social media (vis-a-vis a decline in real-world socialization) and pre-LLM automation relate to the book's world more than today's AIs. Klara and the Sun is also very well-written.

Nonfiction

Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain (2007) by Oliver Sacks

A fascinating exploration of the psychological and neurological aspects of humanity's affinity for music, this book strings together a series of anecdotes from the author's time practicing medicine about how music affects the brain, especially among people with rare brain disorders. There are some truly fascinating — and surprising! — cases discussed. These are interspersed with explanations of what we know, and don't know, about why music has such an effect on the human brain. Overall, this book was quite interesting, and I recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in these sorts of topics.

#the ministry for the future #invisible man #discworld #klara and the sun #huda f are you #musicophilia #reading