#like i'd been fed scraps and now i was given a whole full table from which to eat.

[inkskinned]

i thought everyone was kind of, a little bit... exaggerating. i had been in love, but it wasn't like that. the world was still just-the-world. the sky was lovelier next to them, yes, but love wasn't the awe i had heard about. it was deft and sly and beautiful - but i was sort of privately scornful of true love as a concept. i thought that poets are often full of drama - i'm a poet, after all. all the crying and sighing and world-shifting. i thought - nobody actually loses their appetite, nobody actually gets butterflies. people like to believe they're in love a lot, and the placebo effect will do things to you. no wonder other people lost sleep - i thought: well, that makes sense for them, but it is not going to happen for me.

and then i met her. and then it was real, and i knew something had opened that could never go back to sleep.

#and it was like i had been using my heart wrong this whole time. #like i'd been fed scraps and now i was given a whole full table from which to eat. #it was like - #oh fuck #i can't write about this #it's too big and there's no words and it just fills up every curve of me. #like - oh #this is why love songs make people cry. #like. this is why people get married