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#like i've never seen anything really focusing on it other than in passing
gojoshooter · 5 months
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Asking Jock!Yuuji To Teach You Lift Weights
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pairing : aged up Jock!Yuuji x f!reader
an : here's to my first Yuji fic~ hope u like <3
A soft sigh leaves you. It has barely been fifteen minutes — fifteen minutes since the familiar strapping pinkette has walked into your local gym. If you take a rough guess... it has been a few weeks since he joined in, and since then, you've been anything but focused on your routine.
Anything but calm and ofcourse it's not because you're thinking about eight thousand and one ways to approach a cute jock boy without sounding like a fangirl. Ofcourse not, it's the treadmill. The only time you ever took a good look at his sweaty natural black undercut and the crescent smiley eyes is through the mirror in front. You know better, but the problem is you're a lil wimp like your bestfriend calls you.
Speaking of your dear bestfriend— you check your watch— who is late as ever, you take a couple long drags of the morning gym air.
I'll make it fast, let's do this, I have a chance. Maybe. How do the popular girls make a move? I can't think too much. Nooo no no. Alright, he'll not hang me for walking his way, chill out y/n. Not like I'll mind but—
He whips his head. Your first instinct is to stupidly turn around and skip out of the damned gym. But you're a human, and you need to speak before his brows lift higher. You've been walking his way all while reciting your inner monologue and almost tripped into the back of his damp sleeveless tee. You didn't even notice he was almost a foot taller than you, until this moment. Heat rises to your neck, crawling up your face.
“Uuh...” Seriously, of the thousands of times you thought of this moment, never did you think what then.
“Actually...” you start again, with a little more adrenaline to back you up. “you seem quite fit, heh... would you mind teaching me uh... bench press?” Not the best excuse cause, atleast your bestfriend knows you're one hell of a weightlifter. That's also one of the reasons why you're attracted to him. He's like... the level hundred boss of weightlifting, you've seen him do it.
“Oh... why not? Come up here!” his smile as innocent as if he doesn't shoot hearts with it. You watch him fan his sweating face with the loose neck of his tee as he makes his way to the other section. You follow behind, and a mental image of your friend rolling her eyes pops in your mind. Whatever, if you're gonna fuck this up, you're doing it good.
“Have you tried lifting before? I'll recommend squat bar weights for starters...” to which your head shakes fast. “No... I've tried that. I really wanted to try this you know... and... the coaches seem busy” his gaze lowers from your eyes to your subconscious little pout, and he's throwing that smile again. He'll definitely pass as a human golden retriever.
“No worries, I'm not the best teacher but since you're not new we can work it yeah?” he slips behind you, asking in a tone that if you'd try to describe, you'd either be called horny or exaggerating. “Can I touch you? I mean... to guide, you know?” one of his hands hover around your shoulder, to hint you to lay on the low bench. You nod with a smile as the boxes of your criteria fill with check marks. Tall, check. Cute, check. Big and built, check. Humble, check check check.
In seconds, there's a heavy palm on the small of your back guiding you to the long bar while you try looking as inexperienced as possible. You notice he's gentle and careful with details of execution, while fixing your back.
“Now look up at me,” he's instructing, as he looks down at your layed form. The lights above him makes a halo over his head and he smiles down at you. “keep your eyes up, mm?” you nod, suppressed your shy smile with a bit.
“I'm gonna touch your sternum... right here,” a slow poke below your chest that accelerates and stops your clumsy heart at the same time. “bring the barbell down there and then straight up with your arms, can you do that?” with a nod, warm rough palms guide your clammy ones as you lift the weight. “Easy... don't rush” firm.
“Am I being good?” you croak out, immediately clearing your throat. His eyes zero at yours, and he's chuckling. You prey to the gods to not make it seem like some sly innuendo. “You're being good, good girl, you're strong”. Fuels my praise kink, check.
All while you were lost in the abyss of training with your gym crush, you peek sideways when you feel a third presence.
Your bestfriend. Oh, she was late. “Maki... you're late,” The now divided attention causes you to loose your grip, and the barbell is now in the big palms and flexing bisceps of your almighty interest who's looming on the side of your head.
“S-Sorry! My b-”
“Are you distracted? Take a break” surprisingly gentle. A pout forms on your pretty lips. Whines to keep this lil training going are about to fall when your friend looks at you through specs, “What's going on... y/n?” “We're training! She's so good, you know. Almost too good for a starter”
You whip your head the other way when the weired out pretty face of your bestie look at your half-layed form. Don't say it, don't say it. “I thought she knows to lift better than me... what are you learning y/n?” Now, there are two heads looking you down. Never was a time you ever wanted to play dead on the spot as bad.
It's quite comical—and pretty cute if you ask him. Tilting his pink fluffy head, he inspects with a light giggle “Is that so, y/n?” When you turn your head, your eyes land on Maki. Seems like things are finally going down in her brain, and she shrugs away to the treadmills mumbling something along the lines of you being ludicrous. No one's there to save you now, you're by your own with eyes everywhere but on him as you slowly sit up.
“Um- I can explain actually-”
“And it's not another lie?” you stop mid way, thinking about whatever you'd make up as an excuse and it indeed would've been a lie.
Before you burst out of embarrassment or the gym — he snickers as he pinches your cheeks.
“I'd be lying if I say that wasn't adorable,” you look down, licking your dry lips when the little pinch turns your cheeks rosier “but pretty girls don't need antics like that, do they?” You're not even thinking anymore, flushing red and nodding along like a kid. You see him standing up from the bench.
There's a heavy sigh — not out of frustration. “Gym time's over for me I guess... ” he's chewing his lower lip, sliding his phone out subtly. Contemplating something?
“Here... I can teach you some more if you like” he's the one to call you cute? boy should see mirror. you look up at his face and down at his phone twice “oh... OH!” your smaller hands scramble to take the phone, punch your number with shaking fingers.
As you give the phone back, you stand to greet him byes, tucking a few loose strands behind your pink ears. He smiles shyly at your little hand wave, reciprocating as he walks out of the gym lights.
Heartthrob, check!
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masterlist !!
p.s. never thought I'll research for a fic XD but yup, i did some. also please do not try this to win a boy lol. annnd likes and rbs are appreciated! hope you enjoyed this <33
tags. @anubisisthebomb @dianagracesworld @4sat0ruu @stellagrangerreads12 @momochina-sama @xxkay15xx @ruins-posts @kxhyuns @cha0thicpisces @robynnnhooddd @megumishousewife @doumaverse @reireyrei @leiahsblog @beccygojo @kvid4t @whodoesthatanymore @pupkashi @swaggygurlbae @k-usuo-saik-i @ladyslayage @kissyhalik
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oddballwriter · 8 months
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HEYAA. I’ve been so obsessed with ur MK stuff lately it’s insane. Wondering if I could request a little blurb with Steven? 🙏 Maybe artistic reader who uses Steven as a muse of sorts? 🎨 Maybe Steven finds reader’s sketches of him and Reader is like embarrassed 😨 that he may be uncomfortable with it? Add and change up anything you’d like!! 😽 ur my fav writer thank you 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼❤️❤️
Your Drawings Look like Heaven to Me
꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦
Summary: Steven always enjoys your drawings and art, big or small, painting or simple sketch and doodle. But he's a bit surprised when he discovers that you have a habit of drawing a certain muse that you have. 
Warnings: There's nothing that I can actually thing of other than it's mentioned that the reader draws Steven when he's unaware, but I don't think it's that bad. Also 'Y/n' is used once. 
Author’s Snip: This was meant to be just a little blurb but I got the writing equivalent of zoomies. You asked for a cookie and I made you a cake with layers, frosting, and toppings. This is insane how did I do this. I think it's because I've been drinking a monster while writing this. I have paused the video that I was previously watching in the background because I am so focused. I'm not even joking this shit is 1517 words long and that is before I proof and grammar checked it. I think this might be the longest writing I've done thus far. Enjoy your free cake, anon.
Notes: This is written in the lens of a world where it's just Steven, so none of the actual events in the show happen.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦
Steven always knew you drew. You met at your jobs at the museum, at the time, you were working the front desk while he of course worked at the gift shop. The two of you weren't all too familiar with each other since you only saw each other in passing. You knew him as Steven from the gift shop, and he knew you as Y/N from the front desk. You did learn more details through others. Steven was a chatty guy who had an impressive knowledge about Egyptology and mythos. And you were the person at the front desk who did nothing but sit there and draw all day when not granting visitors entry, or in most cases, taking a second to scan a preprinted ticket and check the schedule.
Steven heard talk that you were really talented in your art. You were able to draw what were basically pictures of things you saw or even made up. He hadn't seen your actual art till one day he found you sat where he usually did for lunch, drawing the statue man that he talked at everyday. And wow, were they right about how well you could draw. Though while you talked to each other you laughed "Well of course I'm able to draw him perfectly. He doesn't move.".
That lunch break was a long time ago. You two started dating between then and now. Steven managed to leave the museum for a new one that actually let him be a tour guide. You eventually managed to find work that let you use your skills in art instead of using it to beat the boredom of your job. And you also moved in with Steven in his little flat, in which he cleared out some of this clutter to make a space for you to work and make your own.
You would draw little doodles for Steven to have. Like Gus swimming around. An Egyptian god that you made using his books as a reference. You even drew him a little alligator with a speech bubble saying "Later" on a sticky note. He still has it by the way. He laminated it using clear tape and has it in his wallet as a pick-me-up when he's upset or as a lucky charm of sorts. You always made drawings for him. But never once had he thought that you would make drawings of him. Let alone how many drawing you made of him.
Steven isn't a man who likes to snoop around regularly, feeling a massive sense of ruining someone's privacy. But you said that he could always look through your sketchbooks and art pieces if he wanted, as long as it wasn't a commission that was still being worked on, which he respected. You, like any other artist, had a plethora of sketchbooks of different sizes that served different purposes. There were your personal sketchbooks, outline and testing sketchbooks, practice sketchbooks, a lot of sketchbooks with a lot of different things they were for. It amazed him just how many you had and how you were able to remember which is which.
He knew which ones were ones he gifted you though. Steven was never confident when it came to gifting you supplies. He wasn't an artist himself so he didn't know what was perfect and what was something you would say thank you for out of courtesy. One of the things he used as a safe play were sketchbooks. The bookstore he frequented had a section of art stuff and found that the sketchbooks were not only great quality but also had various designs on their covers. So he'd get you one almost every time he went.
When he looked at them on the shelf next to your desk he realized that he had never actually seen inside of those ones. He was a bit hesitant to grab one since he didn't know if you would want him to. It's not like he could ask you right now. You were out running some important errands and he didn't want to bother you. However, they were on the part of the shelf that you put all your regular personal sketchbooks, which he was allowed to look at so he took a one random from the collection and flicked through the pages.
Out of some coincidence, it was the first sketchbook he got you, which was admittedly one he got you before he learned what pages were good for actual art. The first few pages were doodles that were likely from testing how the paper held up with the actual process of drawing which soon stopped and the rest of the art was actually taped on like they originally belonged to another sketchbook.
Steven thought of that as a clever use for the pages. You would sometimes make art you thought was nice on miscellaneous papers and would simply take the piece with the art out and stick it somewhere else. But he soon notices a theme amongst all the doodles and drawings, which then follow into all of the other sketchbooks he gifted you.
Him.
Most of the drawings in these sketchbooks were of him.
They were all different. Some were him lounging around or taking a nap. Something that would have made him unaware of you creating a drawing of him. There was one that was him asleep laying in bed from what would be your side of the bed. His face was calm, the limpness of his arms and body was captured perfectly, the sheets drawn with the most accurate wrinkles, and the lighting gave the impression of the light of the morning that came in through the curtains. It looked like you simply took a picture of him while he slept but it was clearly a sketch drawn using a pen and pencil.
There was these bust and face portraits that spanned through out the books, of course of him. The first were already so good in detail considering these had to be drawings of him from memory. But they only got more detailed as they went on. You managed to get his amount of stubble right. You had the little baby curls that lived along his hair line. The crease between his eyebrows he had since he always had a slight anxious expression. That tiny little dimple that he had next to his nose that he didn't know existed until you pointed it out one time.
Steven's mind was boggling to him to see such detailed drawings of him that looked so carefully done even when they were simply quick sketches. They were life-like. They were him. They were Steven. To be honest, how could it not? You see his face all the time. So why wouldn't you have him completely memorized. It was just the fact that you had taken time and pages to draw him and him alone.
It was a bit jarring, for the both of you, when you walked through the front door with a hand full of groceries and other things from your errands and he was seen looking at all the drawings of him. You were embarrassed that he finally saw all your drawings of him and worried that he would think it was weird. He thought that he crossed a line and breached your privacy.
You two avoided talking about it till Steven finally did during dinner later that evening.
"You, uh, draw me... a lot." Steven spoke. "Yeah. I do." you blush as you avoided eye contact in case his eyes showed that your fear of him finding your habit with drawing him was strange was correct. "Why do you draw me so much?" he questions. You sighed, "It's sort of a habit I formed." you confess. You proceeded to explain how it started,
"I first drew you as an exercise to get rid of some art block. I usually draw faces of people I know as a means to do that. So I drew you. It was okay. But when I looked at it a couple days later I thought that I could do it again to improve on detailing some more. Then I used you as a study for lighting and colors.".
"Then, sometimes, I would just draw you when I thought you looked pretty or thought of you. And that's sort of what I've been doing." you explain further. "I thought you would find it weird if you saw all the times I drew you and so I just put them in the books you got me and hoped you wouldn't see them." you say in a timid manner.
"I don't think it's strange. I think it's actually quite flattering." Steven clarifies. "I was just surprised that you think of me as something worth drawing. Especially with such detail." he remarks. You breathe a sigh of relief at that.
"If I'm entirely honest, love," Steven spoke up, "Never tell me that you're drawing me from where I am. I'll get nervous and possibly ruin the position that you're drawing me in." he remarks.
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fairuzfan · 2 months
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Tbh this may just be me but my patience for certain people getting mad at being accused of being zionists, and specifically pointing at how they have said that they want Peace and Freedom and it's important to focus on the Humanity of People has become fucking negative (which is all different from when Bibi says he's securing Peace and Freedom as he focuses on the Humanity of Israelis, I guess. Or any time the US has tried it in Pick Your War).
Either explain your material goals or accept that people will get mad at you when you refuse to elaborate on your puddle-deep statements. Politics is material conditions all the way down and the current material conditions are that Palestinians are being massacred by a genocidal state whose heads have repeatedly affirmed that intent!
Badly paraphrasing Kwame Ture here, but any analysis that excludes the oppressor will blame the oppression. The presumption of a need to make Both Sides Understand And Communicate assumes that Palestinians hold significant structural power here and have the ability to come to some theoretical political table—that they are thus doing this, effectively, to themselves, because they don't prioritize Humanity and Peace and Freedom enough. That's what good vibes politics gets you.
(I am so sorry for this being long, I am just, so furious with it, especially after I learned today that an old classmate was hurt by former IOF soldiers w/skunk spray during the Columbia University SJP protest. Just. Goddamn.)
I think you put it into words really well in that there are no material analysis of actual concrete steps theyre providing or stating that Palestinians haven't already said better and more often and they tend to pass it off as their own ideologies rather than... you know... recognizing Palestinians have been fighting this fight for 3-4 generations. Like a guarantee you any discussion you've had we've already had amongst ourselves. So like actively excluding us from those discussions — which is nothing new btw we've always been excluded from them but this time it's easier to push back — is in fact doing harm and refusing us a way to advocate for ourselves.
Truly I've seen it all — there is no way to "peacefully" live under occupation and subjugation for Palestinians. Like no, man that doesn't exist. Even within Israel, Palestinians aren't referred to as "Palestinians" they are referred to as "Arab Israelis" like we cannot even claim ourselves as Palestinians.
You have to acknowledge that at a certain point you yourself are contributing to the dangerous atmosphere by making everything "too complex" to get anything done. I remember there was a talk with Amjad Iraqi (a contributor to al-shabaka who grew up in israel but is palestinian) and another podcaster who is... peak liberal zionist lol but i listened to it cuz amjad was there — that the Podcaster was saying (paraphrasing) "there's an equilibrium of 'freedom' for Palestinians and 'security' for Israelis, and one side pushes the other side further and further away from the center where they could meet so how to you think we reconcile differences" and amjad responds in a way that I admire (paraphrasing) in that he mentions that from the beginning of this equation, zionism has always had the upper hand in that all their demands have been met and self determination for Palestinians have never been recognized (end paraphrase) so it's not equal to say "well we want peace for both Palestinians and israelis so let's block off Palestinians from discussing definitions for these terms" that fundamentally impact them in ways they will never impact nonpalestinians who would BENEFIT from maintaining the status quo.
Within the article from Alma they say "do something vulnerable and ask the other person what their definition of zionism/antizionism is" as if there aren't very transparent people in this world that want "peace" and don't want a ceasefire. Like that's actually the predominant opinion in the world. They straight up say "the only peace in the middle east is if we get rid of hamas so we can't allow a ceasefire" and people run by that definition and say "sorry Palestinians :( we gotta get rid of hamas :( there's nothing we can do about this.... its for peace :("
So I think you're doing far more harm by pretending there's a cognitive difference between zionist and antizionists that theyre just not communicating, which, zionists are very obvious about communicating (which also, it's necessary to boost Palestinians when defining antizionism in this case because when we point out the very real harm of things affecting us we would like a say in how people define the movement meant for our liberation). But the article never said that throughout the entire thing. It just said "maybe you guys have a cognitive dissonance of words" but like.... at this point, if you still ally yourself under the term "zionist" with literally all we have been screaming these past few months then no, I don't think you're necessarily operating in good faith.
And like I don't think tri*utary is a zionist necessarily but they're certainly a zionist sympathizer and like I don't trust them either.
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perfectsunlight · 10 months
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(𝟓𝟒) - 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧
𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: sexual themes in one part.
𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮
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the first thing yunjin ever noticed about you was your eyes.
if you dance, i'll dance
and if you don't, i'll dance anyway
“yunjin, help y/n with the new choreography. you two can be partners until she’s up to speed.”
her eyes met yours from across the room, and in that moment, yunjin could see how much conflict was brewing behind your irises. you didn’t smile at her, only glancing at the american for a few moments before looking back to the instructor. 
but even in that brief moment of eye contact, yunjin could not help but feel drawn to you. she knew who you were, everyone did, but she wanted to know more about who you really were. because for someone who was practically added into a lineup and guaranteed a debut, you didn’t really seem excited at all. jennifer wanted to know who you really were.
not as lia’s sister, not as sm’s solar flare, and not as minjeong’s best friend.
who was choi yn? and what were you hiding underneath everything?
you see, yunjin was winter’s first roommate at sm. yunjin had seen you in passing, but never spoke to you during her time at the other company just because you two were never in the same groups, and jennifer also left sm shortly after you minjeong’s arrival. however during her time there, she could feel the light you brought to the people around you.
you were the brightest star in the sky at that time, so why had you suddenly lost your light?
give peace a chance
let the fear you have fall away
after the instructor finished speaking, yunjin made her way over to you. she wanted to make a good impression, but not come off as overbearing. whatever happened to you at sm clearly wasn’t anything good considering the circles under your eyes and the slight puffiness in your cheeks.
these were subtle, miniscule even, details. to anyone else, they would just see it as normal in this life of training. they would probably assume it was the lack of sleep, or the lack of energy that made you so stoic.
but yunjin could see through that. she could see through you.
you seemed to be a bit distracted and dazed, eyes focused on yourself in the mirror as you slowly marked some of your movements. her slow footsteps and calm approach were soft, gentle and careful. she saw you as someone who looked like they needed something tender right now.
“hi,” she spoke softly, looking down at you with a small smile. “i’m yunjin.”
your eyes looked away from the mirror to look up into hers. and for the second time that day, she could see the raging storm of emotions swirling in your eyes. you managed to muster up a smile for her, but yunjin could tell it was forced. “i know.” you said in a small voice. “but it’s nice to meet you, yunjin.” 
yunjin felt something in her at that moment. she felt more drawn to you. she wanted to know more about you, not just because you were now in the upcoming group for le sserafim, but because you seemed to be someone who needed a friend.
and yunjin decided to be the best friend she could possibly be.
i've got my eye on you
i've got my eye on you
over the course of a few weeks, you and yunjin became closer. not as close as you and jimin had once gotten in the same amount of time, though. there was still a bit of a wall in between you two.
well, there was only a wall surrounding you, to be more specific.
yunjin was the person you were the most comfortable with out of everyone at this point. sure, all of you were close, but no one was closer to you than yunjin. the two of you didn’t room together, you were actually sharing a room with kazuha since you two were only a few months apart. but zuha was often with sakura, leaving you alone for the most of the time.
you sort of liked it that way, to be honest. you got the room to yourself, and you could let out all your tears and emotions onto your pillowcase without having to worry about your roommate or anyone else hearing and seeing it.
at least, that’s what you originally thought. that all changed when yunjin walked in on you in the middle of a breakdown one evening.
as a matter of fact, you didn’t even notice jennifer until you felt someone holding you from behind. the most you and yunjin had ever touched each other was just during dances, and the occasional high five or side hug. this was a whole different level of touching.
you didn’t mind it at the time, though.
the american’s scent filled your senses, but it wasn’t the familiar scent you were used to. you were used to blackberries, bay leaf, autumn blossoms, vetiver and cedar wood. you were familiar with jet black hair on your pillowcase and small hands on your waist.
yunjin was none of those things.
yunjin smelled like sparkling lavender, mixed with hints of cherry blossoms and vanilla. yunjin was brown hair on your pillowcase, and a larger hand on your shoulder. it was not what you were used to, but it was all you had at that moment.
and for some reason, it did bring you some sort of comfort. even if it was not the person you wished for, you still were thankful that yunjin was there. you were tired of dealing with this pain and anguish alone.
“it’s okay,” the taller girl whispered into your ear. she traced small circles on your shoulder in a comforting manner. “you’re safe with me.”
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
you couldn’t help but remember when the girl you still loved told you those same words. the memories still burned in your mind, even if it had been only a few months since the breakup. as your tears fell, yunjin gently reached over you brushed your cheek with her thumb. it was such a small action, but it meant so much to you in that vulnerable moment.
“do you want to talk about it?” she whispered softly, hand still rubbing up and down your arm in a comforting manner. yunjin wasn’t going to push or pry if you didn’t want to share, but she really wanted to know what was going on with you. the way you were crying was not just over something small, she knew these were tears of pure pain.
“i just miss someone.” you whispered after what felt like ages. your voice was so raspy, evidence of your hours of crying. it was such a heartbreaking sound, but for some reason yunjin was enjoying seeing your vulnerability. she liked how comfortable you were to share something like this with her.
“you must have loved them, didn’t you?” yunjin whispered back, still caressing your cheek with her thumb. 
at yunjin’s response, you couldn’t help but feel the lump in your throat get bigger. nothing hurt more than a reminder that you and jimin were no longer together. you hated how this felt, you hated how your life was changing so quickly, and most importantly, you hated how much you still loved yu jimin.
you didn’t respond to yunjin after that, but from the way you sobbed, she already knew the answer.
someone had drained your light, and she was going to kill whoever it was that did it.
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
after that night, yunjin had fallen asleep with her arms still locked around your waist, hugging you from behind. when the dawn broke, she opened her eyes to see that kazuha had not come into bed that night. she could tell by the way her side of the room was still untouched. thankfully today was a day off for you and the others, so yunjin let you sleep as she held you.
after a while, you slowly began to wake up, and for a fleeting moment, when your eyes were still shut and your mind was still hazy, it felt like the arms of the girl you once called home.
of course when you opened them, you remembered that it wasn’t jimin holding you, but yunjin.
the two of you laid there in a somewhat comfortable silence, with yunjin holding your waist and you pressed against her front. 
“i’m sorry.” you whispered, but yunjin immediately interrupted you before you could finish apologizing for the emotional mess you were. 
“don’t be.” the taller girl hushed, hand’s still caressing and rubbing your arms and waist in a comforting manner. “i don’t mind at all. you can come to me for anything. i’ll listen.”
for some reason, that last part spoke to you in ways you hadn’t been before. no one other than jimin had said such a thing to you before. you thought about it for a moment, conflicted on whether or not to bombard your new friend with what plagued your mind.
but given the fact that she saw how distraught you had been, you sort of felt obligated to speak to her about it. she held you through the night, after all. you breathed in slowly, letting your mind collect itself before you exhaled through your nose.
“i just miss my ex.”
the moment those words left your mouth, she somehow was even angrier than before, but she kept her own emotions at bay for your sake.
your ex must have been horrible, and she would make sure you never went back to her.
if you go, i'll stay
you come back, i'll be right here
after that morning where you explained everything to yunjin, there was no longer an invisible wall between you and her. the vulnerability was something that brought you two closer, and yunjin made you promise to come to her whenever you needed to let it all out. 
you and the american had spent more time together, and not just with you crying in her arms. you and yunjin spent a lot of the time songwriting together. you shared a passion for writing, and it was one of the many things you soon found yourselves having in common. 
hours upon hours outside of practicing, you would be sitting next to each other on the floor of one of the recording rooms with her guitar and your piano. it would be 3 or 4 in the morning, and the two of you would be writing and making beats for random songs you came up with.
sometimes you would not even write, but instead just blast music through the sound system so you could shout and dance at the ungodly hours of the morning. it was almost some sort of comfort action for you. usually when you were practicing, you and the rest of the girls couldn’t really mess around. it felt good to just let loose, and not care about things like debuting or your ex girlfriend.
which was why you loved spending time with jennifer. because she didn’t care about certain things. she didn’t care about what people thought, or who was watching. she only cared about being herself, and that was something you admired greatly.
it didn’t matter what you did, or where you went, yunjin was always there.
and for the first time in a while, you found yourself not minding that small fact. little did you know, yunjin felt the same way.
like a barge at sea
in the storm, i stay clear
when aespa finally debuted, you didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did.
you were crying on the floor of the studio, eyes filled with tears and a heart full of buried pain emerging from deep within your soul. that was supposed to be you, that was supposed to be your group. you trained alongside the other four for years, only to get removed from the lineup and broken up with all within the same timeframe.
but you were no longer an sm trainee, and you were no longer yu jimin’s girlfriend.
you were in a new company, with new girls, in a new lineup. it was not something bad, but it was just something different. and just because it was something different, is what made it hurt like hell.
but you had yunijn, one of the major differences between the past and the present. 
the older girl had her arms around you, holding you in her lap as you cried into her shoulder. the two of you had been running through some vocal layering for a new song you had been working on together. but the news of aespa’s debut filled your phone feeds, and the second you saw you ex’s face, it was over.
“it hurts so bad, unnie.” you whispered through your silent sobs. the tears stained both your cheeks and yunjin’s shirt, but you were too busy weeping to care, and the american was too busy making sure you were okay to mind it.
the taller girl shifted a little, moving her guitar off of the wall so she could rest her back against it with you in her arms to make the position a little more comfortable. “i know it does, y/n/n.” she said in a soothing manner, rubbing your back slowly. “it’s going to for a little while.”
you both stayed like that for a while, but when you eventually pulled your head up to look at jennifer, you noticed there was something else lingering behind her eyes. you just couldn’t pinpoint what it was at that moment. but it felt different, that was for sure.
everything felt somewhat different with yunjin.
she raised her palm to gently caress your cheek, using her thumb to wipe the liquid sadness that was falling from your wet eyes. yunjin’s gentle eyes bore into your sorrow filled ones, the touch of her hand lingering for a little longer than it had before. but truthfully, it was what she said after that was a step in a different direction for your friendship with her. and would also subtly foreshadow what was yet to come in your future together.
“you’re so pretty when you cry.”
'cause i've got my mind on you
i've got my mind on you
“is your room empty?”         “yup.”
yunjin dragged you by the wrist as the two of you made your way out of the practice room and into the elevator. the taller girl stood behind you, hands caressing your sides as she slowly tried to keep her hands from slipping under your shirt. it had been weeks of subtle touches, wandering gazes and eyes filled with desire. she was tired of you being so sad and upset, even if you were pretty when you cried, she hated seeing you heartbroken. 
especially over yu jimin, someone yunjin had decided never deserved you in the first place.
the both of you exited the elevator and got into the dorm room, and the second that door shut, it was all a blur for her.
your nails dragged along her back as yunjin stayed on top of you, bits of your skin clenched in between her teeth while her hands gripped your waist. soft sounds from both you and her filled the otherwise silent room. 
“off.” yunjin whispered as she tugged at the hem of your shirt. you couldn’t help but shiver at the words she spoke. direct, and demanding. true yunjin, to the core. your fingers moved to the end of your shirt and began taking the piece of clothing off. once you did, you could see the american’s eyes glaze over with even more lust. she wasted no further time after that.
it was desire and sensual aggression, jennifer’s mouth mapping your collarbone and the valley between your breasts. it was obvious this was weeks of pent of emotion, but neither of you seemed to mind. the both of you simply continued your motions, with only one mission in the both of your minds.
the heat that burned between your bodies was indescribable. sweat dripped from your face as yunjin’s fingers pulled out, soaked with your arousal as she sucked each one before leaning in to kiss you. your climax hadn’t even fully washed over when she did this, which made your body writhe against hers at the mass influx of sensations.
“don’t worry, baby…” yunjin whispered as her skin burned against yours, the sweat from her forehead trickling down the side of her face. she began leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses down your chest until she settled in between your thighs. you could only whimper at the feeling, and let her do as she wanted. you could feel yourself slipping into a state of euphoria. but even after an orgasm, part of you was still trying to hold onto some rational thinking. 
getting under someone new wasn’t the best way to get over someone else, right?
you couldn’t hold onto your moral reasoning for much longer, especially since yunjin pushed your legs onto her shoulders and kissed your inner thighs.
“i’ll help you forget.” the american whispered in a low tone, which sent shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your body.
getting over someone new wasn’t the best way to get over someone else, but if it was huh yunjin?
then maybe, just maybe, it might work.
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
that night forever changed the trajectory of your friendship with the older girl. it also changed the way your members felt about the two of you.
chaewon imposed a “keep the door open” rule whenever the two of you were together in a room. however, she realized that the two of you would just…go behind the door or in the closet. it was a cycle, really. 
you and yunjin would have sex, and chaewon would beat the both of you with newspaper rolls because of it.
“i was thinking for the next verse, we-” chaewon stopped her train of thought before she reached over the side of the desk and wacked yunjin’s head. she had caught the american’s hand on your thigh, already knowing all too well that meant nothing good. “yah! this is a meeting, not the bedroom, huh yunjin!”
jennifer immediately retracted her hand and huffed, rubbing her forehead where the leader had hit her.
all you could do was hold back a laugh as the two of you gave each other a small smile.
“stop looking at her, yunjin.” sakura said in a motherly tone, countering chaewon’s aggressive “parenting” with her different approach. the american rolled her eyes in response, which caused your leader to wack her over the head with the rolled up paper once more.
eunchae pointed and laughed from across the table, finding this situation very funny. 
the american hissed at the feeling, rubbing her head again as she pouted a little and stared forward. and all you could do was smile, but from the corner of the american’s eye, she saw it. 
you smiled, and your face was like the sun.
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
you and yunjin both agreed to end things once one of you caught feelings, because the last thing you two wanted was to make things awkward in the group.
yunjin knew everything about your relationship with jimin, and once she caught feelings for you, she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure to one up the sm idol.
to an outsider, it was as if you two were dating already. well, at least in yunjin’s mind that’s how she saw it.
she spent every moment of the day with you, you often slept in the same bed, and you two even held each other during practices and meetings. it seemed as if there was something more between the two of you.
but if someone was to take a closer look, they would see that it was clearly not the case.
if you dance, i'll dance
i'll put my red dress on, get it on
your entire “situationship” was built on the mere fact that yunjin wanted to help you forget. your light was dimmed, and she only wanted to help you get it back. however, once she felt the solar power from it, she was addicted to it.
and she didn’t want anyone else getting to feel the same way she did about you. especially your ex, yu jimin.
yunjin was selfish and blind. 
she was selfish for wanting you to herself, because throughout all of this, she had been the one there for you. she was the one who held you when you cried, she was the one who kissed you until you stopped crying. the way she touched you, the way she kissed you, the way she held you, all of it had to mean something more to you in her mind.
she felt something more, but that meant you did too, right?
unfortunately, yunjin was just as blind as she was selfish.
with every kiss she shared, she failed to see the tears that fell from your eyes during it. whenever she was on top of you, she failed to see the way your eyes shut, pushing out the image of jimin in the same position all that time ago. 
yunjin failed to realize that she never made you forget about jimin. at least, not fully.
jimin was someone you couldn’t seem to ever forget. it didn’t matter how many nights you spent with yunjin, or how many times yunjin kissed you, the american failed to realize this irrefutable fact. jennifer often bashed jimin during their intimate moments, saying things like “i bet jimin didn’t make you feel this good” or “jimin didn’t deserve this part of you, or any part of you.” 
it was something yunjin did in an attempt to flush the thoughts of your ex out of your mind, but somehow the american failed to realize that she was also just saying those thoughts out loud because they were her thoughts. 
in those moments, it was as if yunjin was not convincing you, but rather her convincing herself.
and if you fight, i'll fight
it doesn't matter now, it's all gone
when you and jimin started working together, yunjin wasn’t the biggest fan of it, but she was too blind to see that the small feelings you held for her disappeared the moment you and jimin started spending more time together.
but it wasn’t until she was eavesdropping on you and jimin that she could finally see reality.
jimin still loved you. and this small fact was what sent her into denial. yunjin refused to believe that you still had feelings for your ex. she thought there was no way, especially since you had done so much together already, and she had feelings for you, too.
you had to feel something for her, right? you couldn’t possibly still feel something for jimin, the person who destroyed you, and not for her, the person who was there for you throughout everything?
maybe that’s why she reached out to minjeong for help that night. maybe that’s why winter agreed to help her get a better shot at you. maybe that’s why the two met up at the same time to “surprise” both you and jimin at work that day. 
but for whatever reasons there were, yunjin still chose to be hopeful, almost delusional really, and hope that you still held deeper feelings for her.
unfortunately, the glass really started cracking after your solo project. it all started with the night of its release.
yunjin wanted that night to be special, she wanted it to be intimate and all about you. it was going to be a night all about you. 
all about your success, all about how proud she was of you, all about how happy she was for you to finally put something you’ve been working on out. but most of all?
it was going to be all about how yunjin felt about you. jennifer was going to confess that night.
well, she planned to, at least. until for the first time since this “friends with benefits” relationship started, you turned her down.
you had never done that before. not even when you were tired, or sad and upset. you always told her yes, so why the sudden change?
the only reason she could blame was jimin. and in that moment, she could feel something sinister brewing.
it didn’t help that the next day you left for paris with the girl yunjin hated more than anyone. 
i've got my mind on you
i got my mind on you
yunjin laid in your bed the night after you left, searching for comfort in your lingering scent on the bed sheets. the very same bed sheets she had become very familiar with over the course of the year. the same bed sheets she wanted you to be in right now, so she could tell you how she felt about you.
her thoughts, her feelings, her very being revolved around you. it was always about you.
nothing occupied more of yunjin’s mind than you did. chaewon even started to take notice of it, too. the leader had actually had a talk with her earlier, but jennifer really wasn’t listening. she remembers chaewon saying something about “letting you figure things out for yourself” but what was there left to figure out?
was it that hard for you to choose between her or jimin?
unless, it wasn’t. 
unless, you didn’t love yunjin the way she loved you, and she was just imagining things.
but she struggled with that thought, and as the moon shone through the window, she couldn’t help but wonder if she truly did love you. 
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
maybe in that midnight moment, huh yunjin realized it wasn’t you two sleeping together that made her attached to you. it wasn’t her showing you the ropes for a few months when you first arrived. it wasn’t anything you two did together, honestly.
it was from the first time she saw you. 
because the first time she saw you was when she felt it, the same feelings she felt now that she had mistakenly thought of as “love.”
it was the desire to “fix you” that made her attracted to you in the first place. yunjin fell in love with the idea of taking something so broken and making it better again. and that is exactly what she did with you, wasn’t it?
say yes to heaven
say yes to me
perhaps it was purely fate that in that moment of realization, yunjin felt her phone buzz. 
it was minjeong.
“do u still want to help?” 
jennifer huh was faced with a decision. she could either admit that her “love” for you was really just obsession, and make things right for everyone. or she could be in denial once again, and still chase after the idea that she could keep you as hers, and not jimin’s?
and of course, she chose her next move without a second thought.
“yes.”
i've got my eye on you
i've got my eye on you
minjeong had sent her various images of you and jimin. it was obvious that they were older pictures, so she assumed they were from when the two of you were dating. 
“leak them.”
winter had sent in a message attached with the photos.
and as yunjin swiped through all of them, she could only feel herself becoming more and more upset. she refused to believe that it was just an obsession, she didn’t want to only think that this was all in her head. 
you loved her. you had to love her, after everything you had been through together, you had to love jennifer back.
and she was going to make sure of that. 
i've got my eye on you
i've got my eye on you
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┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ˚♡ ⋆。 ❀ ┊ ☪︎⋆ ⊹ ┊ . ˚ ✧
you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation
[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]
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howtobecomeadragon · 2 years
Text
Everyone likes presents. The show does focus a lot on them and I'm trying to figure out if there's a bigger meaning here. I don't think there's any new info here to uncover, but thought presents was a good focus for an analysis 🤷
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Will absolutely loves presents, to the point of asking Jonathon, with no hesitation, if he can open JONATHAN'S present from his crush (I'll give Will a pass, he just survived the Upside Down but this is hilarious behavior on Will's part). At home, he's shaking presents before Christmas, he's guessing what the presents are. He's very very very into presents at the end of s1. Unfortunately I don't think we see him get another present yet (YET) so far in the show. With all of the s4 March 22nd drama about Will's birthday, it almost looked like the birthday boy didn't get any presents, but supposedly the Duffer Brothers forgot.
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Next we see Mike's absolute bafoonery in s3, trying to get El an "I'm sorry" present for lying. It's the thought that counts, right? Not really when Lucas is doing all the thinking here. Will in that third picture is me giving Mike the side eye in this season. Will knows what a good present is and he knows that this isn't the right attitude to have going into shopping for a present.
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He tells El he was trying to get her a present but has nothing to show for it. Big swing and a miss. "We couldn't find anything that suited you." We see the boys looking at a jewelry store, where Mike finds the $300 teddy bear pin, perfume, and lingerie. This is classic "I don't know anything about my girlfriend, let me just look for a present that any boy could get any girl" behavior. After seeing each other every single day for 6 months (according to Hopper) Mike doesn't have much of anything to show for it. He only had $3.50, which equals about $9.64 according to an inflation calculator. Not a lot, but enough to get something. El's favorite snack, a cute hair tie, a cheap bracelet, a comic, a toy, just something. Or he could've made something homemade, but it was shown very clearly that he wasn't going to put time or thought into that, when he can hardly admit he did anything wrong. In my opinion, he would've been better off not even telling her about his failed attempt to get her something, it's just more disappointment piled on. He's not thinking about her feelings though, he just wants credit for putting the work in (*cough even though Lucas was the one that did all the work cough*).
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At the end of s3, we get the iconic "I like presents" scene. I've seen a lot of analysis about how Mike felt more comfortable talking about liking something childish, opening presents, because he just reconnected with Will about wanting to play DnD, but then doesn't feel comfortable being himself about liking these things he considers childish around El. But focusing more on the idea of presents here and the text of what was said: Mike likes presents, but El has never given him a present. El likes presents, but Mike failed at getting her a present. Maybe Mike is thinking about how much he likes playing with his toys on Christmas and how if he's with El on Christmas, he might be too ashamed to enjoy them. Just last season, just 8 months ago, Mike was so hesitant to throw away toys at his parents' request. And in s1, he showed El his toys and she walked away from him. He won't enjoy his presents if they spend Christmas together.
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In s4, we see Mike bring El an actual present this time! However, he brings her Hawkins flowers right after he read in her letter that she doesn't even miss Hawkins flowers anymore. So the flowers aren't on the mark and the note definitely isn't. Again, he probably would've been better off not bothering, the present brought more pain than getting off the plane empty handed would have. He's showing that he doesn't understand her enough to get the right present, to the point of ignoring/missing what she's saying to him in her letters.
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And of course later on, we see that every letter Mike wrote El, each one a present in a way, was really a knife to the heart with every "from, Mike" and then later we see yellow Hawkins flowers wilted and dead. Mike's presents to El bring pain and disappointment.
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We know that Mike loves the presents he gets from Will: drawings and the painting. Mike likes presents, we know this from the s3 finale, and he also loves Will's art. He keeps those presents and has for years. He displays the presents in his basement and bedroom, years after he gets them. Contrasted with El's letters, which are presents in a way, not being seen anywhere in the house.
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But when he thinks that the painting, the present, is from El, he's not as pleased. I think that's the only physical present "El" ever got for Mike other than her letters, and for a guy that likes presents, he's not pleased to think this one is from his girlfriend. So in a way, when Mike thinks he gets a present from El, he's disappointed and confused.
El and Mike both say that they like presents, but their presents to each other are never the right gift, never evoke the intended emotion, and are never given with good intentions or thought put into them.
A colossal bummer is, of course, the fact that Will hasn't gotten a present from Mike on screen, as far as I remember. We don't know if a present from Mike to Will would be as awful as his presents to El, but all evidence points to the fact that it wouldn't.
Basically, I want to put Mike in a mall with $3.50 and see what he would walk out with for Will.
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ouatsqincorrect · 4 months
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Do you think the whole fam would go on vacation together? Or a road trip? If so, what role would everybody play on the journey?
I have a few thoughts: Zelena would be the one stir up drama and start arguments during the flight/drive, just for the hell of it.
Regina and Snow are the ones spending loads of time together making dinner for the family every evening whilst on the vacation (it also gives them that extra bonding alone time). That's all I've got right now. How would you categorise the rest of them?
i like to think that, after emma and regina get together and the family starts becoming closer, they spend summers away from storybrooke. they just deserve a break, you know? whether that's going to new york and living there for a couple of months, or traveling around the world, experiencing parts of this realm they've never seen before. storybrooke is home, but it's also stressful as fuck being the people in charge of saving everyone every other day, and regina and rumple have enough money to make any travel plans possible
when they go anywhere in the u.s., they drive. a lifetime of riding horses to get everywhere will make plane rides seem not so fun, so they'll take everyone in a couple of cars and make whatever trek they've decided to venture out on. there are 11 members of this family, so usually, emma, regina, henry, the charming's and baby neal ride on one car. and belle, rumple, gideon, zelena, and robyn ride in another one. (although, when they live in new york for the summer, they take more than two cars just so they don't have to drive each other every where or use taxis--another thing none of them, besides emma) have really gotten around to
but when they go to places overseas, obviously, they have to ride on a plane. and you're absolutely right, no matter how they travel, zelena is always the one causing trouble. it's why regina forces her to ride with belle and rumple because she drove regina crazy the one time she was allowed to be in the same vehicle as her for a more than five hour long drive (belle says having zelena ride with them is like having a third child in the backseat)
and yeah, regina and snow are usually in charge of dinner. emma and david are usually on breakfast duty. belle and rumple figure out lunch, and regina and snow do dinner (zelena's useless--love her sm but this woman is more focused on causing chaos than figuring out this family's meal plan)
traveling with the rest of the family is super important to belle, because she's always wanted to see the world, you know? and now she gets to see it with the people she loves most. regina and her are usually the ones who plan out the day, like which museums they go to, what sights to see, and the two of them definitely geek out the most when going to art exhibits
rumple isn't the biggest fan of traveling, but he finds he actually does enjoy it when it's with the whole family. belle reminds him too that he spent so long trying to come to this world, he might as well explore it a bit. he also loves the museums, he's just quieter about it. david, zelena, and him end up playing card games to pass the time when they're not doing anything
henry finds movies at nearby theaters that they can all go see and emma and regina make sure to take him to video game museums and arcades so he gets to have some fun doing things he loves as well (they also love video games. this whole family is actually so nerdy but--)
they collect magnets from every city they go to, and they put them on the fridge at mifflin. regina's never been one to allow anything to hang up on her fridge, but when emma gets all excited about the idea of having a little piece from every place they've visited together, regina can't help but allow them to decorate her fridge with magnets
also, regina is still mayor, and she still takes care of business in storybrooke. they all do. they communicate with everyone back in storybrooke regularly because even if the job gets tiring, they still want to ensure their town and the people in it stay safe, but it's really fucking nice to leave their everyday live's behind for a little bit and just breathe, get a break, and spend some time together that's away from the weight of being storybrooke's personal heroes
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melanielocke · 1 year
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Book recommendations - Queer POC books
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Some more book recommendations, this time I'm focusing on Queer PoC books, all by authors of color. All the books shown in the picture are UK editions. I generally like it when books have a UK paperback edition because they're a lot cheaper than US hardcovers, usually also cheaper than US paperbacks, and release the same week as the US hardcover. I don't think these editions are always available if you live in North America, but to those living in Europe, buying UK editions can save you a lot of money. Other parts of the world I honestly don't know which editions are easiest to come by. Only downside for UK editions is that sometimes there are some with a redesigned cover that is very ugly. Of the books shown here, only the Witchery has a different cover than the US edition but in this case I like both.
Starting with this Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron
This is a duology, the second and last book was released last June and so this is a complete series. It is inspired by Greek mythology, and specifically, the myth of Medea, and follows Briseis, who was adopted and inherits an estate from her aunt whom she never met. Briseis has always been able to make plants grow, and is immune to poisonous plants, and at the estate she discovers her birth family had these same gifts, and they keep a garden with some of the most poisonous plants in the world. This book has some great characters, and Briseis was adopted and raised by two sapphic Black mothers, who also play a big role in this series. This series has also served as inspiration for the Lightwood's magic garden in Flowers Bloom
Also by this author: Cinderella is Dead, which I'd also recommend, the Vanquishers, a MG which I did not read
Upcoming books: My Dear Henry, a Jekyll & Hide retelling (3-2023); You're not Supposed to Die Tonight, a slasher horror (6-2023)
Next up is Afterlove by Tanya Byrne
This is a sapphic love story with a MC of Indian decent. At New Years's Eve, just before midnight, Ash is hit by a car and dies instantly. She gets the offer to become a reaper, who guide the city's dead to their afterlife. But Ash can't forget Poppy, her girlfriend, and will do anything to get to see her again.
I haven't seen a lot of people talk about this book, but I really enjoyed it. The main focus is the romance here, and it's more romance with a fantasy aspect to it than fantasy.
Other books by this author: there are several other older books, none of which I've read
Upcoming books: The Mermaid of Black Rock (9-2023), a sapphic book about a girl with no memory found in the sea and a girl who falls in love with her
The Jasmine Throne is the only adult series I put in this list (the rest is YA), and is a fantasy trilogy set in an India inspired world. Book 1 and 2 are out now.
Malini is a princess who is imprisoned in an old temple by her dictator brother, an emperor obsessed with religious ideas revolving women gaining purity and immortality by being burnt alive. Malini refused to burn for his sake.
Priya is a maidservant who travels to the temple every night to clean Malini's chambers. Before her land was conquered by Malini's family, Priya was a temple child, and she had passed through the magical deathless waters once, but all the temple children were murdered except a few who survived and she has to hide her past.
Malini and Priya eventually start working together, with the goal of restoring the throne to Malini's other, oldest brother who'd abandoned the throne to become a priest.
Other books by this author: The Books of Ambha duology, adult fantasy, and What Souls are Made of, a YA Wuthering Heights retelling
Upcoming books: Book 3 of the series, scheduled for 2023, currently no release date known
The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas is one of my personal favorites of this year. It's the first book in a YA fantasy duology set in a world inspired by Mexican culture. In this world, the sunbearer trials are held every ten years to replenish the energy of the sol stones and keep the sun alive and evil gods at bay. Ten demigods (called semidioses) are chosen by Sol to compete in a set of trials. The winner becomes the Sunbearer and gets to replenish the sol stones. The loser becomes a human sacrifice that is necessary to replenish said stones.
Semidioses are divided in gold and jade categories, depending on if their parent is a gold or jade god. Gold gods are the most powerful gods, ruling over things like the earth, the seas, fire etc, while jade gods are considered less powerful and their children too. There haven't been any jade competitors in the Sunbearer trials in over a century, but that year, two are chosen.
Teo is the transgender son of Quetzal, the goddess of birds, and he never expected to be chosen for the trials. The other jade is Xio, the son of Mala Suerte, god of bad luck. The other 8 competitors are all gold semidioses, including Teo's best friend Niya, daughter of Tierra, god of the Earth and the twin children of the fire goddess, Aurelio and Auristela. Compared to many of the others, Teo does not have a lot of powers and will have to fight with everything he has to survive.
The fantasy world in this book is modern second world, so while everything is different from this world, there are equivalents of instagram and tiktok for example, and they have trading cards featuring different semidiose heroes.
Other books by the author: Cemetery Boys, Lost in the Never Woods, I've read both and they're very good
Upcoming books: book 2 of the sunbearer trials (expected in 2023), companion/sequel to Cemetery Boys (fall 2024), untitled book pitched as gay titanic in space (2024), Just Max (a contemporary set in college, 2024).
I don't think it's likely there'll be 3 books coming out in 2024 but that's the information I currently have
The last book in the picture is the Witchery by S. Isabelle
This book features four witches and two human boys. Logan only recently found out she's a witch and transferred to a school for witches, and so far she's no good at it. But she's taken under the wing by the Red Three, three Black witches and the most powerful witches at the school. Thalia, a greenwitch, Iris, a deathwitch and Jailah, the most powerful witch at school, want to end the curse that's plaguing their town, and want Logan's help to do it.
Every year, there's a Haunting Season during which wolves come out of the swamp and kill people. The witches can protect people, to some extent, but the Red Three want to end the Haunting Season once and for all.
This book has a total of 6 POV's, which can make it confusing but I think it worked well. All the characters were interesting, but there wasn't enough space to flesh them all out as much as I would have liked. Still, I think the story was great, and would recommend it. There's not much focus on romance, but Jailah is a lesbian which is why I included it on this list.
Other books by this author: The Witchery is her first book
Upcoming books: another book is expected to be released in 2023. I have no idea what this book is about
Let me know if there are specific recommendations you'd like me to cover next time, I think I'll make more posts like these because it's lots of fun. Also, if you've read any of the books I recommend and want to talk about it, let me know, because I don't have a lot of people to talk about my favorite books with
@alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @astriefer @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @bottomdelioncourt @ikissedsmithparker
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noturprobiem · 2 months
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a little horror piece i wrote
cw: blood, a description of a dead body, a mention of cannibalism for a second
I have had a fascination with the forest since early childhood. My parents took me there to pick berries and mushrooms every autumn and those were my happiest moments back then. So, when it was time to go again, right after my eleventh birthday, I was ecstatic. 
It was truly a beautiful sight. Red and yellow leaves a blanket on the wet, cold ground, lush tree crowns of gold and bronze shining in the morning sun. I loved the way air smelled then, of dump grass and fresh dirt, of bark and pine.
You need to be covered head to toe in thick clothes to protect you from mite and thorns, so you walk and move slowly. It's not very cold this time of year, but after hours and hours outside your cheeks and nose become pink and itchy. Well, as a child I didn't care about anything other than getting my basket full of the best mushrooms I could find and eating as much berries as possible. Nothing could convince me it was time to head home. Nowadays you can't pay me enough to spend even a minute in the woods.
We were far from the only family there, now and again I saw someone pass by, sometimes even with dogs, which I liked very much as a kid. I remember telling my parents that we should get a dog, too, so it can protect us from wild animals, which only made them chuckle. 
I don't really remember how I got lost. After so many years I might have imagined so many details that weren't even there, so many thoughts and feelings that I retroactively assigned to a child who just wandered off into the woods. However, when I think of that time, all that comes to mind is that I felt compelled to see where a path hidden between two wide tree trunks would lead me. I walked and walked until I almost reached a clearing and stopped, frozen in place. Only then I noticed a rhythmic, moist sound of chewing. A sudden gust of wind brought a metallic smell of blood and meat with it. There was something big and moving behind the last row of trees. I held my breath and covered my mouth with my hand. Dad taught me that you should never run or scare a hungry wild animal, so I stayed put, refusing to even take a peek. I could feel my heart pumping blood in my temples, my hands and legs shaking with every escaping gasp as the sound of tearing flesh came again and again. I didn't cry. I was too focused on surviving.
But after a long, long time I couldn't take it anymore. I looked. What was before me did not look like any real animal but every description I gave made adults sure it was an elk. It was massive, with giant deer antlers, its limbs smooth and dark, stretched and bent in unnatural ways. But I can swear that its face didn't look like anything I've seen before. It's neck twisted to reveal a flat, round muzzle with big black eyes staring straight into my soul. I stared back. With every passing second my heart accelerated and I was ready for it to stop for good. But the creature made a few small steps away, as if inviting me to feast together. This was when I saw its prey.
It was a hunter, with his chest torn open, a gun still lying on the ground near him. I gulped and shook my head. The creature looked at me and tilted its head to the side like a curious puppy. I did the same, hoping it would think I was a friend. Somehow, it worked. It continued its feast without me, only pausing sometimes to look at me. Like it was asking if I'm sure I don't want to join.
When my legs started to ache and only the skeleton was left from the poor guy, it left, turning its head one last time to look at me. I fell to the ground and wept for what seemed like hours until I felt like there was nothing to cry with anymore. I got up and went back where I came from, my legs shaking. But when I heard the voices and finally found my way to the main path, my parents weren't scared at all. 
“What, you saw something interesting in the bushes?” Mom asked.
I nodded. And dragged myself after them for hours. Red berries made me want to throw up, mushrooms reminded me of skin and flesh, and I was throwing up for days without any reason, which made my parents scared that I ate the wrong mushroom. And even after the doctors said I was fine, they decided this was our last trip to the forest.
Of course, I wasn't going to argue with that.
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adultish-momma · 2 years
Text
Rulebooks and Loopholes
Technicalities make or break a sports game. Or so I've heard.
Warnings: Mild cursing, like one f-bomb and one d*ck, I think that's about it? Let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: You know I can really vibe with Leona in this one, I feel so attacked as well. All I can do in situations like these is retaliate. So if I'm stuck in Leona brain rot hell then so are the rest of you. Also oh my gosh I just did a word count. It's 1,300+. I... I have no reason, I just couldn't stop.
Edit: I'm reposting this because the first one is just refusing to show up in the tags. If this doesn't work I'll just live with it
For anybody wondering, being sidelined involuntarily sucks.
There's nothing in the rules of the game saying that you have to have magic to participate in Magift (even though the name itself heavily implies it). The rules just state that players are allowed to use magic to move the disc from one end of the field to the other. But noooo, go sit on the sidelines Prefect, the field isn't safe for someone without magic, no one likes easy prey herbivore.
Ugh, condescending jerks the lot of them. It's like the Heartslabyul gang forgot that Yuu was perfectly able to hold their ground in the fight against Riddle at the beginning of term. Some extreme version of ultimate frisbee is nothing compared to a very powerful mage in the midst of an Overblot.
Well, maybe they haven't forgotten. Yuu glances down at their leg, noticing for the first time that they had been subconsciously rubbing where their scar was hidden by their school uniform. Yuu had long forgiven Riddle, not bothered much by the scar itself or the memory attached to it. But they've seen the way Ace and Deuce and even Grim sometimes stare at it, when the scar is essentially out on display in some of the shorts they wear. The Ramshackle Housewarden might have been able to move on (fairly healthily if they do say so themselves), but maybe their friends haven't.
And while Yuu is perfectly capable of acknowledging their friends' well-earned concern for their safety, that doesn't mean that sitting on the sidelines is any less boring.
So they sit there, seething, watching as a Savannaclaw student hurls the Magift disc back to the center of the field where everyone is resetting for the next round. Ruggie catches the disc, passing it off to some of his fellow teammates while he and Leona taunt Yuu's friends. The Prefect glances at the scoreboard, watching the play timer tick down.
While they have no recollection if the little they can remember about sports from their world was because of personal reasons or not, the benched Dormleader does remember that every "possession" based sport had a play timer that was essentially going all the time unless someone called a time out or the field was reset. Basically, as far as they could recall, it showed that the game was actually still happening and wouldn't go unreasonably long. And it seems like Magift operates the same way.
The clock was still ticking, and the players were still just standing in the middle of the field, talking. Yuu throws their head back with a groan, immensely irritated at their teammates for such a wasted opportunity. Not a single Savannaclaw member looked like they were actually ready to play the next round. Not. A single. One. Hell, some of the beastmen were just casually tossing the disc between each other, more focused on trash talking than anything else. One of them even misses, and none of them notice.
Oh. Well, look at that. Yuu glances at everyone else on the field, the still ticking timer, and then the disc that's only a pace or two away from them now.
Well, they've never been one for wasting opportunities.
One minute Leona was relishing in the exhaustion of his opponents, a king watching on with pride as his subjects jeered at the enemy. Then next minute, the scoreboard let out an alarm, indicating that a team had scored. The lion surveyed his surroundings, finding none of the players had moved from the center of the field. Yet somehow, those Heartslabyul annoyances had scored a point.
The Savannaclaw Dormleader turns around at the sound of laughter. There, half clinging to, half hanging from the goalpost, is the Ramshackle Prefect. On the ground behind the goal is the Magift disc.
Leona is, at his core, a patient hunter. His lazy and apathetic disposition puts him at a unique advantage for tricking his prey. They are either more focused on not bothering him, allowing for pawns like Ruggie to swoop in for the kill. Or Leona's prey tends to label him "too lazy to be a threat" and essentially walk right into his waiting hands. Leona is a master chess player, an excellent tactician and strategist, never afraid to take the underhanded route if it was the more efficient option.
So Ruggie can't help thinking that something about this specific herbivore must have rubbed his housewarden the wrong way, seeing as the Leona Kingscholar was actively stalking down the field, intent on catching the Prefect when they hit solid ground again.
Ace and Deuce are convinced that Yuu doesn't have a single self-preserving bone in their body, watching in horror as the human matches the beastmen's growls and snarls with their own wide smile and smug laughter.
(Cater is gladly taking the break from the exercise to record the whole affair, Grim huddled on his shoulder to watch the camera feed. Both human and monster are watching with a mixture of shock and pride, cheering the Prefect on in their heads.)
"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"Well, I know I just scored my team a point. Is that what you would be referring to?"
"You're a magicless, useless, pathetic excuse of a herbivore. You can't even be on the field, what makes you thi-"
"Okay first off, name calling is just childish. And secondly, technically speaking, I didn't break any Magift rules. Gosh, and you're supposed to be the team captain for the Magift club?"
Yuu finds themselves pressed against the goalpost behind them, a thick, toned, and powerful arm pressed across their clavicle to pin them in place. They aren't being choked out, but they can clearly see the "yet" in the jade eyes glaring through them.
Contrary to their fellow first years' belief, Yuu is perfectly capable of sensing the danger in the air sparking between Leona and them. It crackles between them, arches of tension and adrenaline flashing like a lightning storm. This man in front of them is dangerous. This isn't like fighting Riddle at his lowest, staring down unhinged pain in a madman's eyes. No, this, this is a gazelle staring down the unhinged jaws of the predator intent on eating them alive.
"You should learn to watch yourself" The words breeze across the Prefect's skin, goosebumps rising in the wake of Leona's low murmur. "Someone just might take it upon themselves to remind you of your place."
Yuu is perfectly capable of reading the danger in the air. But they are also perfectly capable of ignoring it.
"Listen, it's not my fault none of you remembered I was here. And I'd be less concerned about putting me in my place and more worried about keeping yours." A flash of a sharp smile, predatory in its own way follows their threat.
"The great Leona Kingscholar," they begin, downright simpering up at the lionman, "must be getting rusty if a magicless, useless, pathetic excuse of a herbivore was able to take him by surprise."
Leona feels a spike of pressure against the top of his foot, not enough to hurt in the slightest, but apparently surprising enough for him to subconsciously loosen his hold on the Prefect. They duck their way out from where he had them pinned, putting distance between him and them.
"Maybe next time you want to have a dick-measuring contest, call a time-out beforehand." They turn to look back at him over their shoulder. A small, lazy smile, one he sees often enough in the mirror. "Just a suggestion".
Leona was a patient hunter at his core. He can play the long game. He can already taste the satisfaction of this particular hunt. Before the year-end, Leona Kingscholar is going to enjoy showing that magicless, intriguing, infuriating herbivore exactly where they belong.
After he deals with that overgrown arrogant lizard.
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kitcat992 · 1 year
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Peter’s relationship with Tony wasn’t the only thing ignored in NWH. If it weren’t for his throwaway line that he was an Avenger, you wouldn’t know it from the movie. Which begs the question, why didn’t any Avenger vouch for him at the beginning? Getting Peter acquitted in the court of public opinion should have been a breeze. And why didn’t any Avenger show up to help him with the Avenger-level threat he faced in the climax? Part of the reason has to do with the fact that live actors are involved. Coordinating live actors over and over again is a challenge. Not just NWH. In hindsight, the characters should have logically been interacting way more than they actually were. It's a fundamental flaw of the MCU. The MCU comicbook/ensemble tv series style of storytelling doesn't really work across multiple live action movies when real-life actors are involved.
Yeahhhh, this was a fundamental flaw long before NWH. Honestly, it didn't bother me too much simply for the fact that the comics always had the same flaw themselves. It's simply impossible to have a world of superheroes that all connect and help each other out, while also telling individual, independent stories to each said hero. That's where you have no other choice but to suspend your disbelief, right alongside the actual powers of said superheroes. It makes no sense for a kid to be bitten by a radioactive spider and gain superpowers from it, and yet we don't question that when we read about Spider-Man. The same always had to go for the universe of superheros and their lack of aid when one individual hero was suffering from their own crisis. You simply had to suspend your disbelief.
When I played the PS4 Spider-Man game (circa 2018, holy hell has time flown by) I'd CONSTANTLY have Spider-Man/Peter swing by the Avengers Tower and I'd scream at my TV "HEY! Tony! Steve! SOMEBODY! There's a LOT of shit going on here in New York CAN SOMEBODY COME OUT TO HELP ME!?" My friend watching me play the game would laugh and insist I'd have to come up with a backstory just so I could "get over the hump" of that gaping plot hole. Because to me, it was a plot hole -- we have the Avengers Tower right here and yet Spidey is left to save NYC all by himself, wtf? So I told myself the Avengers were out of the country handling other business and were clueless to the events unfolding 😆
I never had a problem with the lack-of-hero-gatherings in the MCU prior to...mhm, probably Civil War? Like, yeah, Tony is dealing with AIM and Killian and could use some help from Cap or Hawkeye. But if I focused too much on that, I'd lose interest in the story at hand. It wasn't too gaping of a plot hole at the time.
(And besides. The Avengers were always distant co-workers in the MCU. They were never a team or even friends in the MCU. Let's not forget that. The MCU was NOT Avengers Assemble or even close to the comics and the relationships built within those different narratives. The MCU barely gave us disgruntled coworkers who ended up leaving the company they worked for and meeting up again years later for brunch. The Office had a better team dynamic than whatever the fuck the MCU was.)
But NWH? Lmfao nah boo that was a plot hole bigger than anything I've seen before. It's one thing for Steve to be taking down SHIELD with only Nat and Wilson and no one else. But Peter's identity was revealed as a nationwide worldwide thing, AND he was painted as a murderer. Maybe I'd let the first one pass. But the second? An Avenger, honorary or not, was just declared a murderer. Where the fuck is everyone on this? Even Strange was like "Oh, hello Peter, how's it going, long time no see." Uh Stranger where the fuck were you three months ago when this boy was nearly thrown in jail?
Believe it or not, I don't need tight continuity to enjoy something. I used to be a very active fan in the Power Rangers community when I was a teenager, and that should say it all. Same with my love for the comics. I love the story so long as the story has heart to it. It doesn't NEED to make perfect sense -- in fact, when you aim to be "perfect" with making sense, you ruin the fun. It's okay to let some things not add up (and thanks soooooooo much Cinema Sins for ruining this because now everyone goddamn audience member wants to point at a plot hole and claim the content isn't any good because of it. Shit, I wrote an entire novel length fanfiction where the 3rd act involved the characters going to a bunker under the sea with literally no consequences or discussion of decompression sickness or how the fuck OsCorp was able to do the same because it's a story about superheros, suspend your belief and only then you'll find enjoyment. No one questioned the Raft, after all 😅)
Yeah, anyway. I just had many issues with the MCU past Civil War and unfortunately once they started caring more about quantity over quality, things got too messy for me to care about. It's bound to happen when you start throwing an abundance of superheroes at the wall and hoping one may stick. It's doomed to happen when you have so many hands in the pot, and none of those hands brush up on the continuity history that came before them.
And for the record, no, the comics aren't without this flaw either. The comics have always had writers come in, decide "the previous 15 issues before mine are now non-canon" and then tell their own story. The MCU, in many ways, decided to do the same thing. Shit, they just erased all off the Accords with a throw away line. You can't really fault them when their source material content does the same exact thing.
I just expected better from live action, I guess.
The MCU was doomed the moment they decided not to have a set finale. Continuity only worked if they had an end in sight. Unfortunately, money will always keep that from happening
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wordsandrobots · 8 months
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Iron-Blooded Orphans fic rec list, August 2023
I have never written one of these before but you know what? I should. There are a lot of great writers who've done stuff for IBO over the years and while it isn't the biggest fandom going, I'd like to call out a few fics I've really enjoyed in case they've passed you (presumed fan of IBO) by. Please be aware that spoilers abound; most of this is post-canon.
I did think about categorising these somehow but couldn't settle on anything that made sense so the only grouping is 'by the author, as I remembered them'. My personal taste biases are that I don't tend to read crossovers much and . . . how do I tactfully say I have very little interest in the most obvious/popular pairing in this show, as a ship? There are probably a lot of very good Mika/Orga stories I won't have seen, basically.
But anyway! On to the list, and if anybody has any recommendations of their own, please reblog/append via the option of your choice. :)
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Outside Aid by ghostwriterofthemachine (G)
Post-canon, Akatsuki-focused, via the medium of ghosts (hah). Sad in all the right ways.
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Of Things Left Behind (and amongst them, I) by isuilde (T)
Post-canon, a heartbreaking story about Eugene and Yamagi helping each other through moving on.
Five Seconds by isuilde (T)
AU, Yamagi/Shino, nicely engaging with the idea of a happy ending not being plain-sailing, emotionally.
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unknown daybreak by ewagan (T)
Yamagi-focused, a beautiful post-canon character study.
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Rusted Bolt by alchemicink (G)
Yamagi and Yukinojo, post-canon, likewise lovely.
rainwater running down her face (G) and Takin' your ghosts for a walk (G) by alchemicink
Very sweet post-canon stories about Atra and Kudelia.
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Falling Short by ceepetite (G)
Eugene-focused, really nice exploration of a character that I, like the author, adore far more than he gets screen-time.
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Basically all of penitence_road/@stillness-in-green's fics, but I have a special fondness for the Yamagi/Chad post-canon ones.
Misery Loves Company (G)
Going out for drinks
The Urgency of Care (G)
and the Takaki/Aston AU The World Takes (T)
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Pillow Talk After A Nightmare by rinnenotsubasa (T)
Juleta/Gaelio, a nice little post-canon vignette.
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someday, the birds must land by dawn in the fields (ewidentnie) (M)
An absolutely not nice and in fact harrowingly good McGillis/Gaelio AU. Very heavy emphasis on the 'of sorts' in 'fix-it'.
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unstitch that shed-off soul by puru2 (T)
Great little character study of Orga.
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a constellation of blood drops by @sheepibum (parts: i | ii | iii | iv | v)
Fantastic Mika/Gaelio AU based around the idea of Gaelio being taken in by Tekkadan after his Mackie-related oopsadaisy in Season 1.
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an-ungraceful-swan · 1 year
Note
have a rough draft for a scene from a fic I will never finish
The table rammed into Sophie’s hip- or rather, the other way around, and she pitched forward in slow motion, slinging her food directly onto the chest of the student sitting there. She cringed her eyes shut, bracing herself for a verbal barrage.
In a cruel twist of fate, Sophie opened her eyes to none other than Stina Heks herself.
Stina looked from her soiled clothes to Sophie, a look of unbridled disgust upon her face. She shot Sophie a glare full of loathing as she stood. The relentless eye contact was terrifying, to say the least.
“Haven’t you anything to say, Foster?”
“S-sorry,” she stammered out, pink filling her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to-“
“It happened regardless of your intention.”
Words failed Sophie, cowed under Stina’s stare. She couldn’t concentrate enough to respond, taken in by full lips and commanding eyes.
“Consider this your first warning, New Girl. There won’t be a second.”
“Ye-yeah,” she managed, watching as Stina swept away, regal in her exit.
She couldn’t help but wonder what would happen after an inevitable second blunder.
What seemed like an eternity later, she registered Keefe talking to her. Or, at her.
“Earth to Foster? Ground control to the Mysterious Miss F? I just have to say, I’m not thrilled by her use of my nickname for you. Who gave her the right?“
“Uh, it’s my last name though? So probably my birth certificate or something?”
“Rhetorical joke, oh dear one,” he clarified, sighing in mock exasperation. “Let’s get you a new lunch.”
Sophie nodded, and let herself be pulled away from the scene, eyes still glued to where Stina had left.
“Exams season is coming up,” Keefe continued. “Fitz is always first in my level, with me second. I have a photographic memory, so I have nothing to worry about.”
“So do I,” Sophie blurted.
“Then you’re set! Stina always comes first, so she’s who you’ve got to beat.”
“It’s not a competition, is it?”
Keefe side-eyed her.
“No,” he said slowly. “It isn’t. But there's a pretty good incentive. If you don’t pass, you get kicked out.”
Sophie’s jaw dropped, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. She’d always been good at school, but it was harder here. The curriculum was faster-paced, and material more advanced.
“Did the Ruewens not explain this to you?”
“Clearly,” Biana retorted, rolling her eyes. She fell in beside them, having only caught the last bits of their conversation. “Is she in shock?”
“I believe so.”
“I am not in shock,” Sophie snapped. “I’m mentally reviewing my grades.”
“Don’t bother. The rankings are on the wall.”
She turned towards where Biana had waved to at breakneck speed, eyes roving over names and numbers.
Biana Vacker - 7th Dexter Dizznee - 5th Sophie Foster - 2nd
And, as promised:
Stina Heks - 1st
"I thought I'd be lower, after what happened in Chemistry."
"I talked to my Dad, and since you misunderstood due to regional differences, you aren't getting marked down," Biana explained. "Lady Galvin even admitted you had done everything correctly up to that point, so it won't have an impact on your grade. She said the burn on your hand was punishment enough."
"You should be rewarded for the entertainment, if anything."
"Okay, don't be rude," Biana said, laughing as she elbowed Keefe.  "She doesn't need a reminder. If it were me, I would be hiding in my dorm room out of embarrassment."
"You would not! You'd be flaunting it, Miss Popular. Don't be so modest."
Sophie took a new tray, filling it with the same things she'd gotten before. 
"I can't believe I spilled food all over my new roommate," she groused. "Why couldn't it have been literally anyone else?"
"For a minute there, I forgot you were rooming with her. Did Marella tell you about how her last five roommates demanded to be switched?"
"I'm sure that's an exaggeration. She's not that bad, just really . . . focused."
"Focused."
"Yeah, like tunnel vision when it comes to school. I don't think I've ever seen her break routine."
"A hedgehog, honing in on the kill," Keefe narrated, dark and serious.
"Why a hedgehog?"
"Because she's so prickly. Like a cactus!"
"Which am I, a hedgehog, or a cactus," Stina deadpanned, walking briskly past.
"What is she, Wonder Woman? How'd she get changed that fast?"
"I don't know, but I'd pay good money for the ability," Biana affirmed.
"I mean, our dorm room is the closest to the mess hall.”
“Still not enough,” Keefe decided. “She’s a witch.”
Oh shit I’m in love with this
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bunny-rambles · 2 years
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Hey friend, I just saw some of your other asks and I wanted to chat with you. As a writer on this platform, I empathize with your struggles. The fine balance of making things and sharing your thoughts is delicate, and I very rarely post anything personal because I've learned they don't get seen as much - which is fine, that's why you make friends who can and will listen :)
As for the posts, I wish you could see how incredible you are for even making content!! It takes bravery to do it once, and courage to do it again. With the Fandom getting wider and less active, it's going to be dead space out there but it doesn't mean you aren't a worthy writer.
(I've learned over the last year doing this, you have to set some personal markers to reach. If I get 100 notes on a single character post, I'm stoked! (It doesn't always happen, trust me some of my favorite works have 45 notes on them) and if I get 200 notes on a multiple character post I'm pumped!) I've had to retrain my brain this way but, honestly, it makes me feel better about myself.
AND, instead of the numbers I go back and read old works and say, "wowo, I've improved so much!" (I'm here to make stuff yes, but I also want to get better at what I love - don't let writing become something you hate. Don't let low note counts dictate your worth. You are making something wonderful! trust in yourself and eventually you won't mind what your post looks like because you'll be working on the next one that's even better!
I know it's hard out there, being a content creator can feel lonely, so don't hesitate to reach out. You are more than your blog, live your life and use this as a place to get better at your craft !!
Rooting for you!!
- hazel
I have reread this, and reread this, until I couldn’t cry anymore because I bursted into tears when I read this for the first time. Truthfully, I didn’t want to respond, just keep it safely in my inbox so I can read it when I’m feeling at my worst, but that wouldn’t be fair.
Thank you so much, Hazel. When you put things into perspective, I actually feel a lot better about things. You are absolutely right, there is dead space now for most creators within this fandom, and I always forget that. I mainly forget when I see creators still getting an insane amount of notes.
Another thing you were right about, I got caught up in the numbers, and that was the one thing I really didn’t want when I started this account in the first place. Writing is something I’m passionate about, something I cherish and use to convey my emotions that I keep locked up. I should’ve never focused on the attention it got, but when you’re in this community, unfortunately it sometimes becomes inevitable to compare yourself to other works.
I actually do set little goals !! If it gets past 50 notes, I usually consider it a success and I’m very happy about it usually. I should stick to it but sometimes I just let my head get the better of me. I’m working on it,,,
It’s strange though, one of my favourites I’ve written was a piece for albedo that’s barely passed 80 notes, and it stayed on 30 notes for a good four months. I think I wrote that so well and I really liked how i did it but it’s gotten the least attention. Some of my least favourites have the most notes. So I understand not getting past the goals. But maybe I should take your advice and just hope I write better for the next time.
It’s surreal to see you telling me that you’re rooting for me, when I was inspired to start this whole thing from you and your kindness. You’re truly an exceptional human being and I hope i continue to grow closer to you. Sorry for never reaching out, I’m just incredibly nervous/shy around mutuals in fear of annoying them - I’ll try and work on that too.
Again, thank you. So much. This really cheered me up after this awful week I’ve had <33
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biradstrawberry · 2 years
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The big problem I have with gender dysphoria is that it relies on the way other people perceive you. When I dated a trans woman, every time we would go out she would be so concerned that people didn't see her as a woman. She would talk different, dress different, sit different, all because she wanted people to see her as a woman. Sometimes we would have to leave as soon as we got to a place because she thought someone had clocked her or she felt like they might. And I get why. Violence against trans women is a big issue. She was afraid of getting hate crimed just for existing. She lived with that fear constantly.
It's not that I don't understand or don't feel sympathy for her. I do. It's hard to be a trans woman. The issue became when she would start criticizing the way I sat or ate or walked because I was "too feminine" which made her feel less feminine. In her mind, she had to be more feminine than me in order to pass as my girlfriend. This led to her trying to control how I dressed, my hair, my speech. I never felt like I could wear makeup because it would make her feel like less of a woman because she didn't understand how to put on makeup. I offered to teach her but she never wanted to learn. Every time I wore makeup or wore a dress or anything pink she would be so uncomfortable that we would have to leave almost immediately.
Having experienced all this and seen firsthand how mentally taxing it is to deal with feeling whether you are passing or not, I don't understand why anyone would want to transition. I get that feeling like you're the wrong gender is so unbearable that you may even want to commit suicide. But Anna wanted to commit suicide every day, so that didn't solve the problem. Many of her friends who were also trans or non binary were depressed or very distressed that people were not using their correct pronouns. It just makes me wonder if therapy for gender dysphoria would be more effective if it focused on why those feelings are coming up and how to treat them and learn to live with the body you have rather than make life altering changes only to make you constantly worry if someone is going to want to kill you for existing. Is it really better?
If you have the money for facial and bottom surgery and breast augmentation if you need it then maybe it's a different story. Maybe if you look more like a woman you will not have that fear. But maybe you still will. Relying on plastic surgery to solve your problems doesn't really sound like a good solution. I don't know because I don't know anyone who's had it. But most trans people don't realistically have that kind of money anyway.
This may be too simplistic, but personally I've found that the solution to caring too much about whether or not people accept you is to just accept yourself. Caring about what other people think is exhausting and not good for your mental health. But like I said, when you transition, it's like you HAVE to care about what other people think to protect yourself.
I'm not a doctor, but I have seen a therapist for years and I can attest to how much it has changed my life for the better. And I can't help thinking if people who wanted to transition just had a good therapist who didn't push them towards permanent life altering changes maybe they would be able to accept themselves the way they are and avoid a lifetime of anxiety and fear. Maybe that's naive. But I've seen what happens when you take the "recommended" route and I can't personally recommend it to anyone.
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emcscared-whumps · 2 years
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WiJ 2022 - 10: Check Out Some Whump Outside Your Preferred Genre
WiJ 2022 Navigation Post
Espionage/Spy Whump!
Despite watching more than my fair share of action movies, and all of the James Bond movies, when I joined whumpblr, I never got into spy whump, and I've never had any spy whumpees or anything of that nature.
But!
I do very much enjoy secret related angst and whump, so I thought this would be an interesting genre to take a look at, since I've seen it in passing.
~*~
The Stuff I Checked Out!
I reblogged a few things that read as tasty, and a bunch of people gobbled it right up ^-^'
Prompt
Prompt
Prompt
and
pythagoreanwhump's Falling (WiJ Day 9 Entry)
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The Thrilling Conclusion
It's... not a very thrilling conclusion lmao ^-^''
I scrolled through a lot more of spy whumpblr than these posts I've linked, but these are a few which I found interesting.
First thing I'll do though, is say that these are good whump, and are quite well written <3
They're just...
Not really to my taste ^-^'
I didn't really get whumperflies, or even the promise of whumperflies off anything that I came across, and I'll put it down to my personal taste I suppose.
I was expecting to be Very Eyes because of how much I adore secret angst, but I suppose it's only ever been in a nonhuman character's context where they try to hide what they are, and risk death or worse if they were to ever get caught.
In fact, that is the premise of Shifting Phases.
I find spy whump very focused on the torture of stoic, and often prepared characters willing to die for their country or cause. I respect the hell out of that taste in whump, but I prefer it when the character is soft, squishy and woefully underprepared.
I love the emotional fallout of their torture, of them dealing with the fact that they lied to their closest friends and family for years out of selfish fear, and I especially love it when it is their worst nightmares becoming reality.
There are of course a few fun whumpy moments in spy related media, like when Bond got poisoned in Casino Royale. Very fun >:) but I can also remove that whump trope from it's spy context and bring it elsewhere and achieve the same whumperflies...
It can also get gory... I never really liked the breaking of (or chopping off of) a whumpee's fingers or toes. I go for the mangling of limbs, breaking of bones, cutting of tendons, and brands and/or marking tattoos :)
Because I am who I am, here is a food metaphor I prepared earlier!
Torture is a fine meat; like a nice steak, or piece of roasted meat. A lot of people love it and that's valid, and I can tell a good roast when I see one. However, it is not my personal preference. I find it a bit plain... ^-^' I prefer other flavours mixed in, whether you add a sauce or make it a curry. Oh, and certainly not to forget cured meats. Plain, but with a bit of zest :D
I put the torture in the pan, and I add a bunch of spices and sauces and veggies, and serve it with a portion of rice or pasta (the comfort and/or emotional fallout and angst)
~*~
Maybe I would like vampire/demon/belunae spy👁👁
@whumpmasinjuly
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dianight · 3 months
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About friends. Long.
You know that moment when you notice that one person that's not there? Say you were talking to someone on discord and then at some point you see the list of DMs and you see their name with the grey icon. Or perhaps in some game or platform, where it shows last online several months/years ago, even worse when it's shown in days.
I am terrible at keeping up with people. I'll go months without talking to someone and if I run into them for me it'll be as if I saw them yesterday while they are confused about where I've been since then. It's not intentional, I just get focused on whatever I'm into at that moment and at some point in the past I decided not to be the one "in charge" of organizing anything anymore. Choices with consequences.
When a friend has gone offline (you can't really contact them in real life) for long and I feel them missing, my mind goes dark places. Not only because I'm a very negative person but also because experience tells me what the most likely reason is. They are either very busy with school/work, they are in jail/mental facility or they are just gone.
I have not, nor will I ever attempt to kill myself. I'll keep living until I fall, and then crawl until I can't move anymore. It would be a lie to say I've not thought about it, and I don't lie. During the worst period of my life I cried myself to sleep many times. Awful. I live in a way that it never gets to that point again.
The fourth option aka something else requires their attention for a long time is also a possibility. They are staying off the internet for whatever reasons. Kids, family issues, friends in need, others and such. It is the least likely scenario in my experience.
Point being: I saw a friend's icon on discord. I have not seen him in months, but I don't know how long exactly. I take things for granted. He's just some dude I met thanks to the souls community. We talked a lot, played together for a bit and generally chilled while hanging out. I've asked a couple people in that "hey have you seen [friend] lately" kind of way, just in case someone had talked to him. Nothing. The first time was said in a curious way (it's been a while eh) but the others in a more cautious one.
I saw (online) a guy that knows him IRL. I thought about asking. It would be a bit weird right? Not really, he probably knows. But a part of me was scared. What if. That feeling of dread again. When your mind tells you what the most likely explanation is. I put it off for weeks. I just now sent him a DM, he appears offline and told him to answer whenever he wants (it's early here).
---
There is another friend. Met her on tumblr. We didn't get to talk much, we didn't get to play together. I took things for granted.
Years ago, when I was in highschool I started playing quake live. Played that game for ~5 years, although the last two I was on university so my time playing was significantly lower. Met lots of people who I would spend entire days with.
One time someone joined the lobby and sent a message to let us (as in, our very small community) know that his brother had passed away, and had asked him to let us know. That was the first time I got informed that an online friend had passed away. It was shocking, we stopped the match and a couple people logged off. The dread hit me later. So, he's not going to play with us anymore? Just like that. I know it sounds childish. I was a kid.
Way more times than I'd like that same situation, or one that is similar enough, has happened. Someone letting me (or us) know that someone has gotten in an accident. Someone got in a fight that didn't end well. Someone took their own life. In real life I've lost several relatives to old age. Someone very close to me took a whole bunch of pills and had to get taken to emergencies.
I have no words to express what I want to communicate. The only way I feel like I can do it is by sharing my experiences, because I cannot fathom what it's like to lose someone that close to you.
Saw a few posts that sounded ominous. Went to sleep while "no way, no way" repeated in my head. Some other thing happened, not again. And then there was a confirmation. Devastated, wanted to cry and couldn't. What to do even. It happened again. This is what poetry is for I think, to put words together to express what cannot be expressed on prose alone.
---
Another friend. Met him thanks to the souls community, again. He is relatively known when it comes to his "achievements". Not super famous, but well known enough that saying more would be doxxing.
Many months ago he stopped online activities, so to speak. No discord messages, no streams, no videos. He later posted a short note on his twitter about his mental health problems, attempted suicide and a brief recounting of his life situation.
He is alive, not sure if doing well or not. Taking a very long break from "the grind" (my words). I hope he is. I take it for granted he will be.
One time he DMed me at like, 4 am. This is a regular hour for me on night schedule but not for most people. We'd talked before you know, but not late at night like that. Just asking me how were things and such. We talked a bit more and told him to get some sleep (he had to go somewhere in the morning).
Later after I read his note I went back to check the date. It was barely a few days before. Was that one of those so called "cries for help"? Was I meant to dig more, comfort him somehow? No, that's how you end up thinking it's your fault or something equally stupid. I talked to him as a friend. I do not hold some sort of convincing ability to reassure people. I could be kinder, perhaps.
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Whenever I see people on tumblr mentioning those who they used to know, who passed away one way or another, is this how they feel? I believe the english word is grief. Insufficient. Limitations of the language.
There isn't a conclusion to this. I just saw some friend's discord name and got sad remembering. I either type it out or trigger my insomnia. It's 8 am the insomnia has been triggered 10 hours ago.
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