#like idk I have no new ideas it’s frustrating

[satorusugurugurl]

Idk how you would turn this smutty. But I guess it doesn’t have to be. But how would the jjk boys deal w their girl being depressed or just not really liking herself

JJK Men: When You’re Feeling Depressed/Anxious/Down

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna (Modern AU),

Word Count: 4,090

Warnings: Mentions of low self-worth, depression, self-negativity, anxiety, fluff!

A/N: A fix for those of us who have those bad days and need a little pick me up.

Gojo Satoru:

Gojo noticed something was wrong from the exasperated sigh from the bedroom. Popping his head in, he watched as you threw a top down on the ground, joining the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Your face was comforting between frustration and anger before you laid down on the bed, face down; your scream muffled into the mattress.

Seeing you like this, distraught and in distress, had Satoru padding across the floor, plopping down on the bed next to you. His large, warm hand gently rubbed up and down your back in soothing strokes. Only stopping when you slowly pulled back to look up at him.

“What's bothering you, sweet pea?”

“I just,” you sighed heavily, “nothing looks good on me. I feel dumpy, and I hate how I look.”

The harshness of your words had Satoru moving as if you had slapped him. “I'm sorry?” His hands cupped your face, squeezing it. “It just sounded like someone was insulting my girlfriend.” you tried pulling away from him, groaning as your hands pushed at him.

“Toru, stop!”

“No, you stop.” His tone left no room for arguments. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen: your face, personality, even this perfect body. Everything about you is perfect.” he was pleased when you didn't argue with him, “You don't like your clothes? You don't like how the clothes look? Come on.” he yanked you up, tossing you one of his shirts.

“Huh? What?”

“I said, come on.”

While wallowing in yourself, pity sounded like a beautiful idea. You knew your boyfriend. He wouldn't stop at nothing until you listened. So you reluctantly got up, dressed in one of his expensive shirts, before he dragged you out of the apartment.

Knowing Satoru, he would take you to some sweets shop and get you whatever you wanted. That was something you expected when it came to him. What you hadn't been expecting was for him to pull you into a boutique, the boutique you'd always fantasized about shopping at.

“W-Why are we here?” you asked, eyes wide as Satoru sat in a plush chair.

“You don't like any of your clothes, so I’m going to buy you a whole new wardrobe.” he leaned back, giving you a dazzling smile. “You shop to your heart's content, sweetheart.”

Your eyes moved around the shop, taking in the clothes you'd dreamt of wearing. “I-I can't, Toru, it's too expensive.” Satoru sighed dramatically, leaning his head back.

“I’m the head of the Gojo clan, a single child, and the strongest sorcerer of the modern age. Money is not a problem. I could buy out the entire store, and that's pocket change.” You twiddle your fingers, still feeling hesitant. “Sweetie,” you lifted your eyes, “have fun, you’ll feel so much better.”

Part of you didn't want to do this, to spend his money. It felt like he was a Sugar-Daddy when he presented you with extravagant gifts, but at the same time, he liked spoiling you. With a pout, you began thumbing through racks and pulling out tops and pants you liked before handing them to an awaiting clerk.

You glanced and grazed, pulling stuff off racks that looked good. Before you knew it, you stood in the dressing room surrounded by what seemed like dozens of articles of clothing. Would any of these even look good? Or would you still feel dumpy? The only way you would know was if you tried them on, which you had been dreading.

You pulled on a pair of jeans, a blouse, and some shoes before walking out. Satoru perked up, jaw-dropping as you stood in front of the mirrors. You looked—amazing. Your face mirrored his. You looked so pretty. The clothes fit you perfectly and complement the curves of your body along with your skin tone. For the first time all day, you felt good about yourself.

“Wow, just wow.” Satoru was a beaming ball of sunshine. “You looked beautiful earlier, but the confidence radiating off you is blinding! Strongest sorcerer in the world and luckiest boyfriend in the world!” You watched him pump his fist in the mirror.

“I feel perfect about this one.” you did a little twirl, looking at your backside.

“Me too! Go on, try on the next outfit! I wanna see everything.”

You felt as though you were in a movie. Going through a montage of outfits, all of which Satoru excited. He proudly announced to one of the attendants that you were his stunning girlfriend and looked terrific in everything. Ultimately, Satoru bought you ten new outfits, six dresses, ten pairs of shoes, and some jewelry.

You walked out in one of your new sun dresses, grabbing onto your white-haired boyfriend's arm. With a glance down at you, Satoru signed contentedly, squeezing your hand. You had a smile that could light up a million stages. His hand gently squeezed yours; your head tilted to stare at him.

“Feel better?” Satoru asked, giving you a wide smile.

“A million times better. Thank you, you didn't have to do that—” Having him spend that money on you left a bad taste in your mouth. Satoru could see how you avoided his gaze, how your hand tightened.

“I know.” The gentleness of his tone had your nerves relaxing. “But you were down, and I wanted to make you feel better. And from that adorable smile. I'd say I did a pretty damn good job.”

“You're so full of yourself.” Satoru swung your conjoined hands back and forth. “But that doesn't mean that you're wrong. You did an excellent job, Satoru; thank you again.”

“Anthrung to brighten your day, sweetheart. Now, let's grab some lunch! I wanna be the guy to take the hottest woman in the world to lunch!”

Geto Suguru:

Suguru could see it in your grin at work. It was a soft smile, one that screamed to others that you were okay. Everything was perfect in your life. But he could see the way that smile fell when everyone looked away. You weren't your perky, bubbly self, and that worried him.

Suguru waited until after the last of the students to leave before he walked up behind you, resting his chin on the top of your head, his arms wrapping around your waist. For a brief moment, he feared that you might pull away, that you needed space. He held a bated breath until you relaxed against his chest, allowing yourself to be engulfed by his larger frame.

He stayed like that, holding you tight for a long moment and not moving until you shifted from one leg to another. It was a signal that told him you wanted to move without outwardly saying it. So he released you, arms falling to his sides, hands sliding into his pockets as you stepped to collect your bag off the desk.

“Are you okay?”

You swallowed hard, nodding your head instead of answering him. You knew if you were to open your mouth to confess that you weren't as okay as you claimed, you would end up crying. You knew Suguru could see you weren't OK, but he wasn't the type to pry. So he just wrapped his arm around you and ushered you out of the classroom to head back home.

When you arrived, you took off your shoes and jacket and began heading to the kitchen to prepare something for dinner. Suguru was faster than you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the living room, where he forced you to sit on the couch. He was lightning fast, sitting behind you, his hands gently rubbing at your tense shoulders, making you melt.

His fingers rubbed and kneaded the stiff muscles in your shoulders and upper back. His touch back in the classroom had been a comfort, but having him rub out the tension had you moaning as you leaned forward. Your soft mewls had him grinning, his fingers and hands continuing to move over your back.

“So,” he began, “will you tell me what's wrong? Or would you prefer to savor the moment?”

With a soft sigh, your body arched, leaning into his touch. “I just haven't been feeling like myself. I wake up a ball of stress, and I haven't been sleeping well.” A lump began to form in your throat as you struggled to find the words. “Works been a lot; I've been working twelve-hour days, that's not even including missions.” the tears you had been holding back this entire time finally escaped. “And I feel like I could do more for everyone and you. I don’t feel like I’m putting enough effort into everything.” The kneading of Suguru’s hands ceased; they remained still, gently squeezing your shoulders.

He took a moment to process your words, to filter through the pain and the stress that seeped through them. It was painfully clear to him that you were far more stressed than he had imagined. Situations like this called for more than just a back massage.

”I’m sorry that you have so much on your plate right now. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.” The couch shifted as your boyfriend stood up, scooping you into his arms and carrying you toward the bathroom. “I think you might need to take a day off for yourself and stop worrying so much about helping everyone else out.”

Suguru sat you on the bathroom counter before unzipping his uniform jacket. “But I wan—“ He placed his forefinger gently over your lips, silencing the protests and excuses he knew you were going to make.

”I know you want to help. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help out your co-workers and partner when a lot is going on. But you must also remember to care for the most important person.”

”Whose that?”

”You.” His words left your cheeks burning as you watched him draw a bath. “You want to help, but you can’t do that when you’re grinding yourself to the bone. For tonight, don’t worry about work, me, or what we're going to have for dinner. I want you to focus on you.”

As much as you hated to admit it, Suguru was right, and you had been working yourself to the brink of death. A hiccup was the only sound Suguru needed to hear to know that his words had struck home. Turning his head, bangs flowing, he shut his eyes as he gave you the warmest smile. You sat on the counter, wiping at your tired eyes, sniffling like a child as your boyfriends strode forward, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug.

”Let’s take the night to focus on you.”

Suguru ordered dinner, and as you both waited for it to be delivered, you soaked in the bath together. The aroma of your favorite bubble bath mix and candles calmed you down. Your eyes were heavy as you pressed yourself back against Suguru’s bare chest, humming contently as he held you close. For the first time in weeks, you felt yourself slip into a deep slumber in the flickering glow of the candlelight. Your deep breathing and relaxed features left Suguru’s heart feeling light. Taking care of you was one of the greatest pleasures of the world.

Nanami Kento:

Nanami straightened his tie as he looked over himself in the mirror. With a heavy sigh, he stepped out of the bathroom and into your room, where you were nowhere to be found. The bed was unmade, so that you couldn't have gone far.

After grabbing his keys and wallet, Nanami went to the kitchen, where you were. Cocking an eyebrow, he began searching the apartment for you. The living room was empty, as well as the other bathroom. He was getting ready to pull out his phone to call you when a soft sniffle caught his attention.

The sound resonated from the office, where, upon looking inside, he found you sitting on the floor. You were surrounded by a pile of laundry in the basket, a list of groceries you needed to pick up, and you were reading over a report. He was watched for a long moment; tears ran down your cheeks as you sniffled, your eyes darting around items.

It was painfully evident you were in the midst of a depressive episode. When you suffered through these episodes, simple tasks you usually completed with ease were overwhelming to the point you held off on them until you could no longer ignore them. Seeing you so overwhelmed and drowning in your emotions had Nanami’s mind reeling on ways that he could help.

For now, the two of you need to get to work. With a gentle tap of his knuckles against the door, Nanami watched you regain your composure. You were taking several deep breaths, wiping at your eyes before you stood up, grabbing a boom to make it look as if you hadn't just been having an episode.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Your fiance asked, watching as you hurriedly passed him with your head down. “If we leave now, we’ll have time to stop for coffee.”

“Yeah, I’m ready!” Nanami listened to your voice fade before he stepped inside, grabbing the grocery list off the floor and sliding it into his pocket.

“Alright, let’s head out.”

The day went by too fast for you as you sat in the morgue looking over the folders you still needed to file. All the deaths had been bringing up memories of Haibara and the young lives that had been lost in your line of work. You needed a break to escape the death that constantly seemed to follow you in your work.

On top of all the work that had you drowning in sorrow, you had been neglecting the housework. You had fully intended on doing it before Nanami got home from his latest mission, but to your horror, he got home earlier than you thought. Meaning he saw how neglectful you had been, and that made you feel even worse about yourself.

Before those self-destructive thoughts could overtake you, the door to the morgue opened. What you had assumed was Shoko turned out to be your fiancè. What time was it?! Was he already picking you up? You snatched the clock off your desk and felt your stomach drop into your ass. It was six thirty. Six-fucking-thirty, you still had to go to the store, do laundry, and make dinner on top of everything else.

“I was beginning to wonder if you planned on sleeping here tonight.”

“N-No, sorry, I just—” Nanami tilted his head, “I lost track of time.”

“Right, well come on, let's go.”

On the walk back to the apartment, your mind was jumping back between the unfinished files at work and everything that needed to be done at home. All of it was important, you knew that. All you wanted to do was crawl under the blankets and sleep. This suffocating sadness had its grip around your neck, choking the life out of you and rendering you exhausted beyond all means.

There would be time to cry yourself to sleep once your chores were taken care of. Thinking about the pile of laundry awaiting you had your skin crawling as you entered the apartment. The same apartment that had been messy this morning was now tidy and smelt like the cleaning products you used. Your head darted to the number on the door. Did you walk into the wrong apartment?

The pictures on the walls of you and Nanami confirmed that you were, in fact, inside the correct apartment. Which only confused you more as you stepped further inside, taking off your shoes. You speed walked to the office to finish the laundry. But the basket was gone? Okay, so groceries.

You searched for the list you had made, looking under some books, the desk, and your recliner before Nanami cleared his throat from behind you. “If you’re looking for the list, I took it.” Wooden floorboards creaked under his weight before he held a bouquet of your favorite flowers towards you.

“W-What’a this for?” you questioned, your fingers grazing over his as you took the flowers from him.

“I noticed you were looking down and stressed this morning, so I figured you needed a little pick-me-up.”

The sweet floral smell flooded your senses as you inhaled deeply. “Oh Kento, these are beautiful, thank you.” His large hand cupped your cheek, caressing your skin.

“I also cleaned, finished the laundry, and picked up the groceries. So all you need to do tonight is relax.”

“K-Ken—” Words couldn't describe the relief that washed over you, “you didn't have to do that.”

“I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to.” You were gently pulled in, his lips pressing against your forehead. “You’re my partner, my future wife. There aren't set duties that you solely need to do. We're a team; I can easily help.” Fat tears rolled down your cheeks just as you threw yourself into his arms, bawling into his chest.

Your future husband smiled sadly, wrapping his big, strong arms around you. His hands soothingly rubbed up and down your back in gentle strokes, making you cry even harder. Kento was the best thing that had ever happened to you. Compassionate, loving, and gentle, what more could you ask for a partner?

You cried for what seemed like hours in Kento’s arms. Never once did he get annoyed or urge you to hurry up. Once you felt incapable of crying anymore, you pulled back, hiccuping.

“Feel better?” Kento asked, gently cupping your face in both hands. A nod was all he received back as a response. “Good. Now let's eat dinner, bathe, and relax.” That is precisely what you did, snuggled up next to him, dozing off as he stroked your head. His eyes raked over the page of his newest book. All the worries faded as you drifted to sleep, engulfed in the warmth of his body.

Ryomen Sukuna (Modern AU)

“I-Is it gonna hurt?” The young eighteen-year-old girl asked as Sukuna held her lip with sterile forceps.

“If I said yes, would it make you feel better?” Sukuna snickered, holding up a large needle.

“N-No?”

“Then let me do my job.”

With a stab, yelp, and one ring later, Sukuna watched the girl wiping tears away as she checked out. He was snickering as he sterilized his workstation. There is a fifty-fifty chance she'll keep it or not. But he got to get one hundred percent of the tip regardless. So he couldn't complain.

“Sukuna,” Geto called from outside his room, holding the shop's phone. “It’s for you.”

With a glance at the clock, Sukuna could make a couple of guesses as to who would be calling him at work at two-thirty on a Thursday afternoon. Either one of his little brothers got into a fight, and the school was calling, or it was one of his clients calling to reschedule with him. Hoping for the second possibility, he huffed an annoyed sigh, taking the phone from his co-worker.

”This is Sukuna.” The line was silent, almost too quiet. “Hello?” He asked, tapping his fingers against the client's chair. “Look, I got important stuff to do, so if no one is bleeding or needs my attention, I’m hanging up.”

A whimper stopped him from pressing the red phone icon on the phone. He knew that voice all too well. It belonged to you, his girlfriend of two months. Why the fuck were you crying? Panic settled in his chest as he stood up, his chair rolling away as he held the phone flush against his ear with his shoulder.

”Babe?” He asked, getting another whimper in response. “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Geto and the others had all gathered around, exchanging worried glances with each other as Sukuna rushed to grab his jacket and helmet from his locker. “Hey, I need you to tell me what’s happening.”

”I-I’m sorry —“ Soft sobs sounded from the line, “I had a terrible anxiety attack, and work sent me home, and I just feel so out of it. I know you’re at work, but I need you.”

“Do ya’ really think I give a fuck about work when you feel like this?” His voice came out a bit harsher than he wanted. “I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—-“

Fuck, he knew better than to snap when you were in the midst of an attack like this. “No, you’re okay. I need you to tell me where I need to go.” Sukuna held his breath, waiting for you to respond.

”M-My apartment.”

”Unlock the door; I’ll be there in ten.” A soft sob between understanding and goodbye sounded from the other line just as he hung up. “Geto—“

His co-worker was typing on his phone. “I’m texting Satoru now; he’ll pick up Yuuji and Choso. I’ll call and rebook your other appointments. Get out of here.” Sukuna gave him a thumbs up and a sharp ‘thanks’ before he bolted out of the shop.

Just like he had promised you, he made it to your apartment in less than ten minutes, bolting up the stairs and turning a sharp corner before throwing open your door. He locked the door, threw off his shoes, and hurried to the one place he knew you’d be at. Sure enough, he found you under the sheets in bed, curled in a fetal position.

Your body shook with sobs, ones that made Sukuna feel like someone was twisting a knife into his stomach. He truly hated your anxiety attacks just as much as you did. Not because he had to help you through the tremors and tears. But because he hated seeing how much they wrecked you.

You were amid a choked sob when the bed sheets lifted, and your boyfriend's musky amber scent flooded your senses. His smell alone had your grip on the sheets loosening as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. His body was so far, his hands gentle as you buried your face into his side, crying roughly, your tears soaking his shirt.

”Shh, it’s alright, brat, let it out. I got you; you’re going to be just fine.”

The sadness that clutched you tightly began to fade as he continued whispering into your ear. His soft words and gentle praises had you curling closer into him. Your boyfriend was the best at bringing you back into reality. He was your life preserver, holding you afloat in the sea of melancholy that would have drowned you by now.

This was the reason he was the one person you called in situations like this. Where the sadness was too much for you to carry or when your anxiety felt like it had possessed you, Sukuna was there to ground you and bring you back to your senses. Days like these were when you thanked whoever spun the bottle the night you played Seven Minutes in Heaven.

”You good?” Sukuna asked as he felt your trembles die out.

”Yeah, I’m just sorry I called you at work. For something so miniscule over an anxiety attack.”

Sukuna hummed and flicked your forehead with a painful—thump before he pulled your body closer to his own. “I gave you the phone number for the shop for a reason, brat.” His finger ran through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. “I care about you; I want you to call me when you're feeling down or if you need me.” There was a particular hint of shyness to his tone before he cleared his throat. “So what happened?”

“Do I have to talk about it?” You questioned with a sigh. “I just want to lay here and relax with you.”

“Babe,” pulled you tighter against him. “We can do whatever you want. No questions asked.”

You got what you wanted, and that was him by your side, grounding you. He made instances like this easier to deal with. Just his presence alone was enough to make you feel like everything was going to be okay. All because Sukuna was by your side.

#jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk #jjk y/n #jjk reader insert #jjk men #jjk gojo #jjk angst #jjk geto #jjk nanami #jjk sukuna #gojo imagine #geto imagines #nanami imagine #sukuna imagine #sukuna au #jjk gojo x reader #jjk geto x reader #jjk nanami x reader #jjk sukuna x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #reader x nanami #sukuna x reader #gojo x reader angst #geto x reader angst #nanami x reader angst #sukuna x reader angst #gojo x reader fluff #geto x reader fluff

[rainofthetwilight]

LEVI I WANNA GIVE YOU TRAMUA ABOUT ARIN

So, we all know that Arin is struggling to improve his spinjitzu and he feels useless and just wants his parents back.

…He feels jealous. And we know that he doesn’t have an elemental power according to Doc Wyatt.

And he will *probably* fight Sora if he finds out that Sora “helped” his Object Spinjitzu.

What I see from Arin is that he is slowly getting traumatized..

And I have multiple questions from where Arin’s arc is going.

My biggest question is, is the ninja holding Arin him back or his parents holding him back? I think it both.

Not to mention that there is so much foreshadowing to Arin’s arc.

And why do I imagine Arin is just trapped in like, a cage full of insecurities, or trauma? And I can imagine that he can’t get out of that cage.

Ras said that Arin is not improving since the first time they met, Egalt said that Arin is useless, Sora is improving and might be able to learn spinjitzu, and most importantly, Lloyd’s and Arin’s relationship is slowly falling apart like Wu and Morro.

My poor Arin is just having one HECK of a trauma here. And I swear to the Fsm if the writers gives Arin has even more trauma in season 2 part 2 than part 1 I will throw a chair.

But who knows…? Someone said that it was a cannon event that every sunshine character has an angst arc.

Sorry for making you insane, Levi I just wanted to share this idea with you just for fun.

And also, do you think that Arin is going through 5 stages of grief or..? Idk, I wanted to ask you and tell me what’s your thoughts on this.

AHDHAJDBJAJDJAJSNANA YEAH I'M. I'M NOT OKAY RN 👍👍👍

also absolutely do NOT apologize for making me insane I am literally loving these asks so much bro SHDJAJDJW 😭 I love analysing silly lil lego characters w/ you all <333

the thing about the foreshadowing is that it actually feels very intentional, like obv I know foreshadowing is pretty much always intentional but like..you get what I mean?

they are constantly reminding us how much of a great person arin is, in s1 especially. he's a good friend, he's kind, he trusts people quickly, always has that hope in him and so much more. something is definitely going to happen, even if the whole sora helping him thing didn't happen, he is going to be put through the wringer whether if he actually gets an evil arc or not

plus, he already is traumatized. loosing your parents and neighborhood all in one day while navigating an entire new world with so many new places and people on your own (at first) , while only being atleast 10 years old, is pretty traumatizing all in itself. but even after all of these years, he still had hope, he still had hope that his parents and heros could come back. and guess what? his heros did come back, and what did he exactly say again?

''if I loose hope the ninja could come back, then I loose hope that my parents could come back."

even after the ninja came back, his parents didn't. all these years he relied on his hope for the ninja to come back to bring his parents back aswell, but their whereabouts are still unknown. add that to the extreme pressure of saving the world from ending and the amount of self doubt he has, that's when the shell of his hope finally began to crack

in s1, the return of the ninja gave him even more hope than he had before. he was still excited and animated, and finally got his dreams to come true (becoming a ninja). the thought of his parents holding him back didn't plague him as much as now, because that hope in him was still there and it only grew stronger each adventure. but now, even after a long while since the ninja had came back, his parents were nowhere to be found. and that just hurts

dude the insecurities part AGHDJS...the weight of being a ninja was finally becoming heavy on his shoulder and that only added to his frustration and anger of not being good enough. he sees his friends around him improve, and be useful in a way, unlike how he had failed time and time again without achieving results. and with egalt calling him useless and ras constantly reminding him how he still hadn't improved, and he feels jealous even tho he doesn't want to, and it just made everything worse.

I'm also thinking abt how sora accidently reminded him of how he didn't imporve aswell, by saying "your spinjitzu is just as good as when I met you!". and even though she meant it in absolute good faith, that's just it to arin. that's it, he was still in the same level he was the first time, he didn't improve. and with how he got angry at her when she was only trying to cheer him up after what happened, I can't even imagine what would happen if the news of that spinjitzu throw help thing comes out

ALSO. ARIN GOING THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF. DUDE NOW THAT I THINK ABT IT..

anon had also sent an ask abt this too!!!

so like, now that I actually think abt it, what if that hope was actually just a cover of his denial? the five stages as we all know are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance in that order. so like...what if that hope wasn't really hope, but instead a disguise for denial?

whenever the topic of his parents came up, especially in s1, he kept denying the fact they wouldn't come back. same with the ninja, he still believed they were out there

and now in s2, we see his self doubt and his trauma catch onto him. we saw how angry he was at himself, even to the point of shoving lloyd away when trying to comfort him and almost snapping at sora when she was trying to do the same. we don't see much of that 'hope' like in s1 anymore. it's much more..sadder, more angrier even

and with all this, he's most definitely going through them, now on the second stage. first in denial of his parents and the ninja not returning, and now anger at himself and the world for hating him like this

when I tell you I am so so excited to see what they do with arin's arc w/ all of this going on for his character I am not lying bro, I'm so insane AHDJSKDJJW 😭👍

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago spoilers #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago arin #levi's asks #ty for the ask! #levi's analysis #also sorry it took a while to answer these asks!! school's been kicking my ass 👍 (and final exams r in like 2/3 weeks 😭)

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the thing with doctor who i think is that it gets better the more you know. maybe this is true of all writing but i only know doctor who so we'll focus on that. but i think it gets better the more you know this is why my fic is not very good. i dont know many things. i think if you have a background in like, just any field you can use you can make your doctor who stories more interesting. like linguistics maths physics and music are things that come to mind for me that i would like to know to make my doctor who stories more interesting but i think it can work with, like, almost anything. biology stuff also works well adds a lot. sociology stuff history. if you know how to sew really well or youve worked in meat factories. just, if you have deep knowledge about something this will enrich your doctor who stories (again, might be true for literally every writing)

but also things you can know that are just lived and not books. like i said with that post about different countries' doctor whos, every country would bring its own history and values and perspective to the stories. but also like for example the class stuff or the queer stuff you see with rtds stories like anything a writer Knows will make their stories more interesting

and thats why doctor who could literally be so good If They Diversified Their Fucking Staff. in every sense of the word. you need disabled people, trans people, racialised people, people with different religions but you need people who know other things than writing too! which i get is difficult because theyre mostly working in their fields and not writing but like there are writers who are not or have not only ever just been writers. or just get writers with some weird fucking hobbies!

even in the most basic way even if you keep your entire show white christian able-bodied man, if you have more of those you will have better stories. it will still suck! but like, less than if you only have 1 guy writing right? thats not a novel concept artists know this writers know this thats why they work together. and i get that making tv is very complex and theres a lot of interests and a lot of choices being made that arent even to do with the stories but i find it so frustrating to think about how good doctor who could be if they let other people in to put their knowledge and their perspective in the stories

#and not just in the writing but in Every Department Obviously #i just dotn know how television is made so i dont know. like. what those are #the secret good disabled trans decolonialist doctor who that lives in my head man #like you know that feeling when an artist like...........Gets a certain theme or smth #like Knows what to do with it bc they have a certain own experience or knowledge #like when an artist truly fucking knows what theyre doing #you know that feeling? when youre like this SAYS something abt the theme/trope/idea/whatevs #you know? #doctor who is so full of unused potential #i feel like we're spinning our wheels a little bit #and maybe others feel that too bc showrunners keep being like WE NEED NEW SHOCK BIG NEW #but like. youre not gonna get that with the same old perspectives! #for truly new good refreshing you need some new good refreshing people on the mic #anyway. just. frustrates me #10 to the master but it's me to doctor who the show: you could be so much more! #like 13 and 15 are fun right? with the idk new outfit and the rwandan proverb on the sonic. fucks. but #to use rtds own words. ridiculous craven feeble gesture also a little bit. i want like. substantially good stories #i want to feel like the writer knows what theyre talking about you know? #you know that feeling #anyway #you get what im saying #the secret good doctor who that lives in my head man #except. it doesnt live in my head. bc it lives in many otherp eoples head. by definition #but sometimes i read like fic by friends who fucking Know things and im like damn #damn!!!!! doctor who could be so much better!!!!!! #i also think when youre a writer whos only a writer theres the risk of chasing your own tail a bit #in that th elonger youre a writer the more you only start writing about writing bc thats what you Know #i think thats a risk #also not a novel concept pretty sure professional writers are aware of that one gfhkjghgjg theyre not stupid

[kiisaes]

what sucks about drawing bkdk for 3 years straight is that u start to notice patterns in ur bkdk art. like how deku is always :) and bkg is always >:(. and u'd change this if u could, but this is technically canon to their characters so why fix what isn't broken. and eventually u run out of ways u can portray :) and >:( while also making the art interesting

#it also might explain why i haven't drawn bkdk a lot lately. i literally have no idea how to spice up my bkdk art #without wanting to rip my hair out due to frustration #i am 100% aware i can draw them in different expressions but it's just Different #like the art process is just Different. idk how to explain it #anyway i love being an artist with a fixation that has wrung me dry of new exciting ideas #this is not a vent btw. if my brain squints it can even be funny. hysterical even #someday ... i'll find my bkdk groove again ... my social media existence depends on it. who am i if not a bkdk artist #becki rambles about stuff #bakudeku

[lagtrain]

i have been trying to remember my old animal jam account password for the past 30 minutes, which has culminated in me digging out my dads old mac that hasnt worked in years in a futile attempt to get my damn account info

#im so fucking dedicated to this u guys have no idea… #and its especially frustrating bc i THOUGHT I KNEW THE PASSWORD. like the password im thinking of in my head is 99% what i still think it is #but like. its not working. so it might be wrong?? #and i looked into it and apparently they might delete ur account if its been inactive for over a year?? (which it defo has been) #but i made a new account and looked up my old one and it still shows up as being there… like with all my previously made animals and every #so idk if its just lying to me or if my account is actually still in existence but like. ill be damned if im not trying to get in #can anyone knowledgeable in animal jam tell me if my account is actually gone or still around?? #like does it showing up as a player in the buddies thing mean its still around and not dead #animal jam #<- tagging for help… pblease

[seagullcharmer]

owwwww

#libra.txt #today is going! not great! #i am so very tired and frustrated and i hate being in pain #and this is new pain! i don't like it!!!!! #i'm not even 23 how did i develop varicose veins!!!!!! #on the other hand did discover charles martinet will be at the con i'm going to next month so that's exciting #i'd like to get smth signed by him this time #but idk what........ #i know they usually have generic posters and stuff you can get signed but like... i want smth Special #the main option rn would just be like. my case for smo? #idk if i have time to draw smth #and since smo is the only game i've actually played there aren't a lot of idea options #especially since i still REALLY need to work on my fi cosplay #and i haven't finished my data art for brent spiner (even though i'm thinking of just! starting over!!!) #which i don't wanna do #i'm tired and i hurt and i'm hanging on by a thread and i hate it!!!! #if i didn't have the pain in my hip things would be a lot easier. alas. #if anyone has art ideas feel free to send them my way

[kelprot-old]

i feel like i look at shit like the backrooms and what the internet has done 2 it and i go ok. how many times are we gonna deep-fry concepts in irony while just like fucking. wringing them of any potential subtlety or whatevr the fuck

#i say the backrooms since it's an easy example of this #a cool-ish concept that grew in popularity until it became this inflated husk of just kinda. nothing #iirc it started out as a sorta like ''hey endless halls of surface-level familiarity but No Really They're just Endless'' #while maybe not the most Super Incredible Deep and Full Of Meaning Thing (at least without like. tearing into it) it was still an - #- interesting idea. and i think. while it makes sense. it's still disappointing to see what it got reduced to in the end #it still has value ofc. it's stupid silly fun #but part of me still feels. frustrated that lots of these things dont gain mass appeal until it's like. SCARY MONSTER CHASE!!! WHATTT!!!! #idk smthn about how people simultaneously enjoy this ''new'' version of the backrooms for its simplicity while also showing weariness of it #like in the post. it just feels like a concept deep fucking fried in irony. the original purpose was lost and turned into simple horror #its just like. 2 million roblox clone games ''ESCAPE SIRENHEAD IN THE BACKROOMS!!!'' #this isnt me asking people to all enjoy the original version of the concept it's more me jsut like rambling or fucking whatever #something about how warped things have to become before they can be paraded around with their head on a stick #like girl that is a false self!!!! you are celebrating and simultaneously mocking this freak evil clone twin !!!! #^^ nonsensical ramblings. im gonna go make another cheese toastie #idgaf abt this stuff btw. hope thats clear. every day i spin a wheel of 10 trillion topics and pick one to throw a truck at

[forgetful-storyteller]

Okay but. What is tgcs long term goal. Because I'm really starting to think they don't have one,, everything they do seems to be building them up to a point where no one wants to play sky anymore?? Everything they do feels like massive self sabotage? It just feels too stupid on their part for it to be a coincidence and yet. It probably is. And sky is going to keep succeeding as a game because no matter what happens and no matter what they do, people only talk about it for a few days and then go back to playing like normal. It's like they know that no one will actually do anything to stop them,, they know no amount of people will stop playing "just because" of whatever the reason of the week is. They can just keep getting worse and worse and worse

#sep talks #GENUINELY. I think genshin is a better game at this point #they r such similar games at this point that I do think it's fair to compare them #genshin at least is like. Not hiding the fact that it's a game that exists purely to make money #but at least they make it enjoyable. Every event has clearly had thought put into it #every new character too #there's no part of genshin that feels like a truly worse experience without spending money #it doesn't have the panic factor sky does with limited time iaps #genshin motivates players to spend money by having new and exciting characters with shiny new skins #and well you got your character why not get their signature weapon too? #genshin is a gambling game like any other gacha but like. The want to gamble is coming from love for a character #or the idea that this specific character will help u be better at the game/do more damage #sky makes u spend money bc of. The fear of missing out #they make a cool new item and list it at some exorbitant price and then give it a time limit before it never comes back #and BAM suddenly everyone wants it #it's not even always for the item. It's because the item is limited time only #same for the season pass + such #idk. Sorry I need to stop making these posts but it's rlly so frustrating #I know everyone loves sky I KNOW. But where is ur breaking point? What do they have to do?? #tgc could call someone a slur and it would be The Controversy for all of a week and then everyone would forget abt it #and keep playing like normal

[yergink]

see, in theory i like the idea of searching around and trying to join some fandom discord servers but the problem is i am a Scared Animal.

#marine blogs #sigh. #i like the idea of engaging more w fandom community #like. particularly with ofmd! #considering it's really the first big currently-active fandom i've participated in #but i am! so bad! at talking! i am so unbelievably awkward and i get overwhelmed so easily #and its like.. the new season is happening and i'd love to be able to talk more about it with people #who have an equal amount of pirate brainrot as me #rather than just. bothering my friends who are nowhere close to as invested in the show as i am #idk. weird vent post ig. #this is very much a Me Problem/Personal Thing/Skill Issue that i need to work through but it can be very frustrating

[ganseyandjane]

i've been turning a blind eye to it even though i've been aware of it happening for years but it has almost become way worse yet i don't feel like i've done enough to stop it

#long story short my mom almost joined an em el em #because she lost one of her jobs and we need money and she's tired of trying to apply for another and work #she wants to 'work from home' and because she has friends who SEEM to be making a lot of money from it #she's convinced that it's a good move and she could achieve the same #and its just so frustrating because i'm eating food cooked from overpriced pots those friends sold to us years ago #and i still have empty bottles of essential oils that i'm pretty sure were also sold to us by those same friends #and i've known for years that my parents' friends were shilling these things but i didn't know much about the subject #so i didn't want to 'enlighten' my parents on it (especially my mom who's the one actually buying these things) #i couldn't be bothered and its not like they were actually joining any of them #her telling me about this new business they want to start was what did it for me #i'm glad i kept prying before it was too late because there was too many red flags #however she still seems so unconvinced about why its a bad idea... i'm saving our family's finances but she doesn't seem to believe me #even though i do think she won't go through with it #and i'm just worried #those friends are the reason we were able to migrate here #one of them is my brother's godmother #the other one knew both my parents for years before i was even born #i don't want to say bad things about them but i hate that they're influencing my mom this way #idk if they're directly telling her these things or if she's just looking from the outside #i hope she's not too stubborn to just. believe that i have her best intentions. me. her first born child. #ugh idk maybe i should just talk to my dad since apparently he was still skeptical too #im so saaaaaaaad #idk how to help my family aside from taking extra shifts to cover bills ;___;

[paulinaaam]

I really wanted to do my first cosplay ever this year (nothing fancy, but still), but I have no money nor mental energy to workout (even getting up from bed is a challenge for me nowadays) and even if I could start doing anything without any problems I'm not sure if I would loose weight, because I'm registering myself to endocrinologist for almost 3 years and meds from gynecologist only help me keep my weight constant :') (before turning 18 my doctor was 2(actually 3)-in-1, but now I can't be her patient), plus my make-up skills don't exist, so

I have time for (almost) everything, but that's only thing I have and instead of using it wisely I'm wasting it for 4 fucking months, because now I even have problem with enjoying things I like, so most of the time I'm just thinking or I'm trying to distract myself from doing it

I know I should get my shit together, but at my current state I just can't.

#and guess what: i'm still unemployed and idk what about my future. i have no idea what to do #but i'm so annoyed because employers be like 'omg we need new employees. they don't need any experience' and then don't respond #but 'luckily' i'm not the only one with this problem: some of my friends can't find a job in our town too #but ngl it's so fucking frustrating #pau.txt

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous #but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to #water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means #i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop #which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for #work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot #but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the #offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to #do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably #instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol #srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow #that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge #demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who #to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an #apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things #but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away #and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires #in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up. #but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like #its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things #and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u #do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey #did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im #afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th #then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it #all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate #myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol #also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in #my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever #unrelated

[gheycowboyespressokell]

Nimbus rant time!

I just. I can't. This will be controversial, I know, but every single line of Nimbus's dialogue I couldn't stand. And finally, finally, during Rohan's induction at the Hall of Heroes, I was thinking we'd get a change. "Talk to Nimbus to see why they left the ceremony early." Possibly the greatest quest step summary in the history of the game.

Then we approach them.

"Oh, hey Guardian! Guess what! Plot and activities and bounties and let's go kick some ass and break some things! Hua ha ha! Man, did you know how cool Strand is? I bet you'd love to get some extra materials! Let's go kick some ass!"

Like. Come ON, Bungie. The dialogue and tone of Lightfall were already all over the place and the emotional beats just kept falling flat, so I was hoping, so so hard, that we'd get a genuine quiet, solemn, heartfelt moment. That could have at least redeemed Nimbus to "fine," in my eyes. Make them sad. Make them shocked. Make them not know what to say next. Hell, just add another quest step after that one that's "Check back in with Nimbus" where all you have to do is go to orbit and come back. Just add SOMETHING to imply the passage of time before they're boisterous and go-get-em again. Give them some development, a struggle they actually have to overcome and do something different with. Just something besides "Hey, Guardian! Man, blowing things up is cool, isn't it? I wish I had Strand powers! Ha ha!"

#destiny #lightfall #nimbus #lightfall spoilers #nimbus neg #i dunno i'm just frustrated #i wanted so much more from the new characters #(and from Lightfall overall tbh) #and after season of the haunted and chosen and seraph #and having genuine emotional moments of characters struggling with things #nimbus just being like wheee all the time was jarring and just #not enjoyable #plus the way they kinda massacred Osiris #now hes just old man with bad plans #he waffled between recklessness and surface-level caution so rapidly and severely #it was even framed as though he was being reckless and had bad ideas #the game just didnt offer any narrative alternatives besides follow his orders all the time #idk #its just frustrating

[esoraluco]

ok i just GOTTA ask this @ my mutuals; if you were to get fanart from me with my current style, would that make you happy?

Asking because i know people tend to appreciate fanart, no matter the 'quality'- but i just need to make sure. I also feel like- given im tired/not at my best, the rly cool drawing i feel you guys deserve is. Not exactly out of my reach but close enough? idk if that makes sense, but basically due to my exhaustion my work, despite improvement i made in the few years since my burnout, is not at its best (at least by my own standards) while i feel you DO deserve something at its best.

I want to draw you guys' characters (faves or ocs) and make you happy despite my exhaustion pretty much. Dw im NOT forcing myself or anything, it's just i want to make something to thank you for the art/work you've shared, who probably brightened my day during these tough times. But i want said something to be GOOD. So TL;DR my current work doesn't always fit my own standards, but would it fit yours if i were to make something for you?

#thats a post i made! #if i do make that fanart i'll make it during this summer- i'll take a break from class #and i'll be able to draw everyday like i used to- and not have to seriously think about what i want to draw #idk if that makes sense wait. it's just that after class i can't draw much and i carefully choose what i want to work on during break days. #and more often than not- choosing is also based on my ever changing mood #and if i disobey the mood i get frustrated 💔 #still no idea if that makes but i think i just want to make fanart but be chill about it/not force myself- bc i know you guys wouldn't want #that. also just as a note the subject (fave or oc) depends on what makes you most happy as of the time im making the art #like if in a few months you change your fave then i'll draw the new one

[kpgimpactor]

🫥…

#rant ahead: #my coworker's wife was complaining about his new manager #and granted the new manager was VERY new to this kind of role - has shown herself to be indecisive flighty and panicky in the past #BUT since her promotion she has improved alot imho! she's got more confidence. more decision making chutzpah etc etc #but the wifey can't see beyond it. i brought up how much the new manager has improved and how happy i am for her #the wife wouldn't hear it #like emphazing that the new manager's skills had gone from -5 to 0. ok that's still positive/upward momentum ???? #and idk we were out having some beers so i didn't press it but the conversation keeps popping into my head and im just like #so there's no room for growth in your world? #you get an idea of someone's flaws and that's how they are defined to you for the rest of eternity? #is there anything this manager could do to prove herself worthy of the role to you or does the fencepost just move everytime #IDK it was very frustrating and I wish i spoke up a bit more #but it's a coworker's spouse so i guess at the end of the day it's not the same as an actual coworker making these complaints #but STILL. #i think she had wanted the promotion for her hubby and was upset the girl who got it got it but like....your man is doing fine. relax.