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#like if you ask me sum about them i can give a lil. Paragraph Or Two of an answer
nostalgiaruinedme · 3 years
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Hey I love your fics and writing style and well since I've been meaning to start writing fics I wanted to ask you if you have some advice you'd give.
Ohhh advice? Sure, I can do that! I shall bestow all of my knowledge upon you now, but you gotta look below the cut. Shhhh, it's a secret~
Okay really I just knew this was going to be a really long post and didn't want to clog up everyone's dash lol. ONTO WRITING ADVICE
I kind of live by these rules in writing:
1. Know the rules before you break them 2. ANYTHING can be inspiration 3. Remember the doll 4. Use your resources 5. Don’t hold yourself back 6. Practice 7. Enjoy yourself!!
1. Know the rules before you break them
Pay attention in English class (or whichever class for the language you're writing in) and learn the grammar!! I don't always have perfect grammar in my fics and sometimes I consciously choose to ignore grammar rules to make it more impactful, but you HAVE to know the rules before you break them. Study those grammar lessons! Learn how to use the fun punctuation, like semi colons and em dashes and en dashes and all that good stuff. I know they're scary, but they're a lot of fun too.
ALSO PLEASE USE PARAGRAPH BREAKS IM BEGGING that's like, a HUGE problem I see with a lot of new writers. Paragraph breaks are not optional!! Change 'em when the main topic of the paragraph switches or when a new character is speaking. Overdoing it with paragraph breaks is better than underdoing it, I promise.
2. ANYTHING can be inspiration
Have you ever played Story Cubes?
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If you haven’t, it’s essentially this game where you roll the cubes, they each land on a different image, and you gotta tell a story that uses all of those pictures. Some are literally just a question mark or a speech bubble and that’s what you have to use. Me and my siblings used to play the game a lot. And you know what? Some of those stories are the most creative ones we’ve ever come up with. When I say anything can be inspiration for a story or a character, I mean ANYTHING!
I based my Donnie design off of the vintage globes and journals I have in my bedroom.
My little sister threw a pillow at me and it inspired a funny scene I wanted to write in another fic
I designed two OCs off of Mars and Pluto and an ENTIRE 40,000 word fanfiction based off of a space documentary I watched
My NaNoWriMo story last year was based off of the concept of shadows and how cool I thought it’d be if they could talk
Me and my friend made an entire dystopian original story commenting on our world today. It was first inspired by a crack self insert Death Note RP we had at 13 years old. Not kidding.
Literally anything can be inspiration. Challenge your mind!! The best ideas come out of completely ordinary and unexpected opportunities, in my experience. You don’t need one of those super detailed and crazy expensive prompt books (though they are fun) to write a great story. Use music, use a color, use the sky, use your favorite food, use anything! Just find inspiration!
3. Remember the Doll
Remember Mulan?
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We never got to see the Huns destroy the village and we didn’t get to see them kill anyone there either. But by showing that doll there, the animators took an entire battle full of death and destruction and summed it all up in one, heartbreaking moment. You don’t need to spend ten pages writing about how horrifying the bad guy was and listing everything he did from start to finish, nor do you need to write an analysis on why she’s bad. All you need to do is show one or two very meaningful ways they impacted the world... and you can do that with something as simple as a doll lying on the ground in a burning village.
Because the doll is there; the little girl is not.
There’s a quote that sums this up really well, and I have it written on the dry erase board by my desk.
“You don't write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid's burnt socks lying in the road.”                     - Richard Price
And adding onto that, try to write more about what’s there, not what isn’t. Mulan didn’t say ANYTHING about the girl in that scene, but by showing what was there, it told us a story about what wasn’t. Focus on what is in the scene and it will tell your reader about what isn’t.
I do think writing a balance is good though, so I try and keep it around a 3/1 ratio of what is there vs what isn’t. Remember this is art though, not math; you can change the formula as you please just to make it feel right. It all depends on the scene and what you want.
4. Use Your Resources
You know how, in the artist community, there’s this sort of stigma around using references? And some artists have to make posts reminding others that there’s nothing wrong with using references and you even should use them?
It’s the same concept in writing!
There is NOTHING wrong with looking to other writers’ work or keep a thesaurus constantly open or bookmarking a reference page of other words to use than “said”. Nothing wrong with it at all! When I write, I always have two tabs open: my writing document and thesaurus.com. I have a folder on my computer bookmarks of ways to describe a smile and a body language dictionary. Before I write fanfic, I watch a “best moments of *character*” compilation video on Youtube to remind myself of how they speak. I watch fight scenes from The 100 or Avatar or Marvel while I write my own battles!
There are SO MANY resources out there for you to reference. Use them! And if you need some to start with, shoot me an ask. I have a ton.
5. Don’t Hold Yourself Back
One of the scariest parts of writing is the thought of “what will people think?” Creative writing is EXTREMELY personal, and you’re going to find a lot of you inside your work, including the thoughts you didn’t want anyone to know about. 
People will discover how often you think about love. People will discover how dark your mind can get. People will discover the morals you hold that even you didn’t know about. They’ll discover that the person you swore you’ve moved on from is still on your mind. They’ll discover that the pain you swore you got over still hurts you.
“you can tell the deepest truths with the lies of fiction”                     - Isabel Allende
This thought scared me a lot, and still does. I’ve let go of and forgotten about so many story ideas because they were just a little too personal. I could write it and not publish it, but what if someone still sees? Writing, like all art, comes right from the heart and reveals a lot about a person. That paranoia of being known kept me from writing so much.
But I promise you, your most powerful stories are going to be the most personal ones.
I wrote Hated Resemblance based on my thoughts about myself, and I wrote Dagger From the Mirror based on thoughts about myself too. A lot of it is dark, most is painful, and all of it is scary to show the world. But I wrote it anyways and it’s created something pretty amazing.
Hell, even now I’m wondering if I should post that lil anecdote, but I think it’s the best way to make this part of my point stronger. See? Writing about things that affect you is the best way to make them impactful, even for something as simple as advice.
And even if you want to write about light and happy stories- you’re still going to have to get personal.
This all got pretty deep but my point is this: Don’t hold yourself back. Write what you feel you need to and it don’t worry about what anyone will think. Don’t hide that one sentence because you’re scared who will read it because you’re scared to be known so deeply. Add it in even when it’s scary. 
That’s something I’m still learning how to do, and it’s a slow process that has taken years... but it’s worth it, I promise.
“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.”                     - Natalie Goldberg
6. Practice
I started writing in 1st grade. I’ve written regularly since then, and this is my word count every month this year:
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Most of that is fanfiction. Some are just random thoughts, some are really thought out posts or answers to your questions, and some are made up of original stories. That total words written number is since November.
You don’t have to write this much every month, I promise, I just don’t really have any other hobbies lol. My point is that practice is really really really important. Write a paragraph or even just a sentence every day. You’re gonna improve so quickly, I promise.
“Write every day. Writing is a muscle that gets stronger with use.”                     - Abbi Glines
But take breaks too!!! Don’t overwork yourself. Burn out is a real thing and you shouldn’t force yourself to write just because you’re scared you don’t write enough! Write at a pace that’s comfortable for you. There will always be writers out there who write more than you and even more writers who write less than you. That’s okay. Everyone has a pace they’re comfortable with, and you just gotta find yours. As long as you’re writing consistently, the numbers don’t matter too much. 50 words a day or 5000 are both good!
7. Enjoy Yourself!!
You’re here to have fun!
No matter what you’re writing (angst, romance, fix-it, AUs, hurt/comfort, fluff, ANYTHING), remember that fic writing is supposed to be fun!! You’re not getting paid to do this. On one hand, that sucks, but on the other hand it gives you the amazing opportunity to write literally whatever you want! Find projects you’re enthusiastic about, meet other writers, do collabs, make playlists for your story, create over powered OCs for the hell of it, ignore plot holes and write without regard to canon, or write the most realistic and in-depth canon-compliant book ever. Create the most self indulgent story you can think of! 
Have fun. This is your story and you get to write the rules. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Oh yeah, and one more thing. Be proud of yourself. You can get all of the comments and feedback in the world, but if you’re not proud of what you wrote, it’s gonna be hard to look back on it with joy. Be proud no matter how many reads it gets—you made it!
“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”                     - Steve Martin
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ok bhah ch1 reread thought dump lets goooo
@youngbloodbuzz  @romanitwontletmetagyouuuu??? thank u for writing this. in return I gift u this lightly unhinged commentary
oh the opening quote “Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?” violence
lmao ok I started this ages ago and then got distracted for a week because that’s just who I am as a person lets try that again
eddie n his glowing glasses nice we love a canon nod
ok I remember getting really emotional reading the chapter where Dani’s car died bc of what it represented to her n now I’m being reminded of it all again with the ‘poor little car’ comment oh dear we’re like 2 paragraphs in and I’m already compromised
the wavering reflection in the water in her hands..... Dani posessed by the ghost of comphet..... I am Drawing Conclusions
eddie “we can hang out more” dani “aha wouldn’t that be neat”
god the prom photo... remembering Dani’s meltdown at the prom bc she missed Jamie... I’m dying Jack I’m dying
lil palm kiss... I know u will not ever love hm that way Dani but fuck I’m a sucker for a palm kiss
lil nerd ass w her folder tabs I love her
god the tone of this is so comforting like I can just hang out n imagine each scene progressing so naturally. wish I did not have to suffer emotionally at the same time but at least it’s a smooth read
Dani feeling like an invader amongst all the physical representations of her relationship w eddie BABY U DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INFLUENCE UR LIFE AND RUIN UR HAPPINESS
“Hannah Grose, seamlessly elegant” yes
Hannah: congrats on ur engagement. Dani, with tears in her eyes: thank
Dani relaxing when they’re talking about teaching pls I love her love for it so much
Dani at the blackboard with the “Miss, Ms?” confusion now I am thinking about the Ted Moseby professor/proffessor scene. HIMYM my beloved
mikeyyyy my boy
the image of Dani w chalk dust on her skirt is v endearing.
oooh the library trip gay foreshadowing yes
wait the silver stars on his backpack......... cup of stars crying time
Mikey correcting her on his name when she was the one to give him the nickname in the first place... feeling some kind of way
Dani fostering the talents she sees in her kids is so sweet and mikey shy lil math genuis is also so sweet pls i love this duo
i do wonder if part of her is like I know a Mikey Taylor but I literally refuse to believe it is the same one bc his sister broke my heart and we are absolutely not in the business of confronting hard feelings in this house!!
keys on a lanyard... ok lesbian
“You’re still here?” the love I have for canon lines being used when I can hear them being said in my head
awww bonding over Wonder Woman. cute!!!! When Dani becomes Mikey’s official second mum (everyone be quiet I am manifesting) my heart will explode
eddie ur really just gonna rock up and toot at her. jail for 1000 years
ooohhh Dani is Realising who the sister is. honey you got a big storm comin. oof (the ‘wonder woman punching stars out of her foes” to “dani feeling like she’s just recieved a blow to the ribs.” the cinnamontography). aw baby :(
“Jamie. Jamie, here. Jamie, home.” please i am thinking about her last letter and I am not strong enough
“Somehow Eddie didn’t notice.” sum up a relationship in a sentence
“Jamie would appear, as if summoned by the gravity of Dani’s pounding heart” fuck this hits on so many levels I need to go think about my life for 45mins
CARSON MY BOY. in his studded leather. a fashionable gay never loses.
I looove how soft n caring Dani n Carson are with each other thank gods she has him.
DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CARSON AND JASON MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE STILL TINGLING FROM READING THIS THE FIRST TIME
god this post is already so long n I’m only halfway through why do I have so many silly thoughts
god just the... expectations of affection from her by eddie w that placating cheek kiss she gives him is like... I cannot imagine Jamie ever asking that from her in the same way even when they are in a relationship!!! and it’s not even wrong of him to do that??? but it’s just a lot to think about the kind of person Dani makes herself to be to stay with him vs the kind of person Jamie lets her be by not expecting anything of her. they’re such opposites
dani not even feeling at home in her own (former) home pls when is she going to find a soft place to land (it’s also making me think v hard about the title like... the haunting of Dani and Jamie’s relationship (and what that represents for Dani) on Dani’s whole life and Jamie coming home and bringing that to Dani’s doorstep. resurecting a ghost so to speak........ too many homes to think about. I don’t know if I fully understand but I am Thinking)
dani and her inhaler... asthmatic bitches represent
oh my god not the box of memories. been trying to erase that from my own for weeks now let me live
ooh the line about her feeling like an archaeologist at the start of this section and then her ‘exhuming the past’ w the photos of her n Jamie i love a consistent narrative.
THE MIXTAPE. THE MIXTAPE. is there a playlist for this chapter I would like to take that aural journey
oh no i cannot remember where the flower comes from but aahhh this box of memories pain.
this description of carson in a tight white undershirt tucked into his jeans makes me think of freddie mercury. didn’t mean to make you cry etc
lmao Dani trying to get info from Judy abt Jamie in a roundabout way... international superspy she is not
Dani entirely uncomfy in church... i feel it. godd the repression of it all w the movie and the feelings and the Jamie-influence on the feelings my heart hurts.
God knowing how much Judy loves her but the weight of that love also stifling her... pain
they’ve really got her all shacked up w a house and a husband and a kid on the way can we let the girl be a lesbian in peace (also lowkey hoping Dani gets some time on her own at some point no Eddie no Jamie no weight of expectations pls she needs it we all need it)
the thread of Dani refusing to do things for herself in order to make other people happy throughout this entire piece hits so fucking close to home and is entirely heartbreaking to read thank you
jamiiiiieeeeeeeee
Jamie: appears. Dani: every single emotion all at once
Judy and her girls back together is v sweet even if Dani is dying inside at it all
“Jamie only had eyes for Dani.” Again, sum up a relationship in a sentence.
What do you even say to a girl who *the sky goes dark as i attempt to even summarise a fraction of their relationship*. Apparently the answer is “Jamie. Hi.”
TWO MONTHS JAMIE TAYLOR. CRIMES
It’s ahh. fairly entertaining to be going through Dani’s emotional journey alongside her and knowing that Jamie is also Going Through It on some level but having 0 insights to it bc she keeps her emotions so in check.
oooh how much of a gut punch is this engagement revelation for Jamie??? like on some level I’m sure she always knew this was coming but I’m sure another part of her still desperately hoped one day Dani would choose her. god I would kill for Jamie’s POV in this scene
Jamie’s scarrrr. Literally Dani’s impact
oh fucking hell that moment of like... familiarity and almost a coming home for Dani when Judy is talking and she meets Jamie’s eyes... she really was entirely screwed from that moment on huh.
oof god this is a hell of an opening chapter lets see if my attention span will let me continue this journey (also @ myself reminder to read this all in chronological order one day for a real nice session of emotional destruction)
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dayasbun · 5 years
Text
Fame - Angus Cloud (5)
Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.
Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5 {reading now}
-
You woke up to an empty bed and cold covers. With a sigh you sat up, wondering where Storm and Z had gone. Grabbing your phone, you shook your head as you read the messages on your home screen.
Babygirl Z <3: Yoooo so we dipped cuz Angus's weird-ass kinda threatened us to gtfo out cuz he wanted to spend time w you but don't tell him I told you that, I don't wanna deal w him
Lil storm!: i think the hood boy in love with you or sum- it's weird.
Angus ☁️: you free today? i got some plans for us so if you ain't you free now
Angus ☁️: i'm playin btw like if you ain't free i can change shit around
You giggled as you heard your nails click against the phone's screen as you sent responses.
-mhm i'll act like i never saw this...have a good day of filming gorgeous <3
-see storm, i highly disagree
-i'm free :) is this a date mr cloud? don’t forget we have filming today
You got up brushing your teeth and washing your face. You waited for Angus's response before picking an outfit for the day, and instead decided on making breakfast for now.
Babygirl Z <3: thanks lovely same to you!!!
Lil storm! laughed at your message
Angus ☁️: shittttt ion know maybe- n yeah ik
-i'm making breakfast, come over if you want
Angus ☁️: food?? i'm already on the way
-my trailer door is unlocked so just come in
A few minutes later you heard the heavy trailer door creak open. You flipped a pancake before turning around and facing the taller man in front of you. "Gooooood morning- you look so tired?"
"Damn, thanks Y/N you look great too!" Angus said sarcastically rolling his eyes.
"Boy, I'm kidding." You grinned wrapping your arms around his waist "How'd you sleep?"
"I slept ight, you? Any dream-"
"SHUTUP!"
"I was just checking damn, just checking!"
You let off the hug and walked back over to the stove turning off the burners. "Okay, done! Pancakes and eggs- and fruit! Can't beat that." You made both you and Angus a plate and sat them down on the small table.
You both ate with smiles on your faces, talking the whole time. You learned some more about Angus and his past, and he learned more about you and what you want your future to be like. You couldn't help but laugh when he spotted a carton of store-bought sugar cookies on your counter and insisted he eat at least five. You didn't deny his request, so he polished them off with the rest of his pancakes.
As soon as the breakfast came to a close, both of your phones dinged at the exact same time.
"That's strange," You said picking up the electrical device. You quickly unlocked it as your eyes scanned the screen, and when you finished you immediately looked up at Angus. From the look on his face, you could tell that he clearly had finished reading the message as well.
"So…" he said quietly.
"Yeah."
"Yep."
The text message wasn't too big of a deal, just a simple message from Mary of a suddenly new shooting schedule. You weren't worried until you reached the paragraph that made very clear that instead of shooting you and Angus's sex scenes next week, or possibly two weeks away, they would be shot tomorrow and for the rest of the week.
Shooting the scenes wasn't exactly the problem, it was the caliber of the scenes that you two would be shooting that was the problem. Also the fact- that though there isn't much talking during the sex scenes- you would have to memorize the lines of the new episode. Even though you and Angus were more comfortable with each other, sex scenes were not anything that you two were ready for, you guys hadn't even kissed yet, whether that was a real kiss, or a kiss practicing for the scene.
"I think we need practice."
"I agree."
"So uh..." He turned red as he picked at his nails.
You let out a sigh. "Okay so look. Basically, the scene just consists of me being naked, you being naked as well, but they're going to jimmy rig something so that obviously we aren't actually doing it. Mary told me in my message that I would have some type of pad over my you know what, and you would have some type of cup on."
"But-"
"I'm not done, wait. There are covers over us; so even though I have to give the effect of riding you, I'll just kind of be awkwardly rubbing my padded- you- know- what up against the cup."
"Okay, don't we make out before?"
"Yeah, we do." You stood up and rinsed off the plates. After placing them in the dishwasher, you turned back to your male co-star. "Okay, so it's about 11 AM right now. If we practice our lines, make out some, and I awkwardly ride you clothed in my bed, I think we should be fine..what about your plans?" You asked softly.
"It’s ight, they can wait. But there's another scene- where I smash you from the back. That's the part where I gotta show my cheeks man, damn I don't wanna show my cheeks!"
You laughed a bit "You'll be fine... tomorrow we'll be shooting probably just making out, then the next day the riding scene, and then the day after that more. And I know this seems kind of shitty, but if you read over other peoples paragraphs besides just ours, a lot of their sex scenes were moved up too, and some of the pairings are a bit weird and unexpected."
"Okay let's stop talking about it and just do it."
You nodded and silently walked into your small bedroom, sitting on the messy bed. You hadn't made it because, well you didn't exactly expect to have Angus in your bedroom, let alone to do this.
"So..."
You turned to look at him with a raised brow, "What?"
"So imma kiss you."
Why did that one sentence make your heart. Skip. So. Many. Fucking. Beats.
"Yeah well, that's what the script says right?"
He nodded and licked his lips. "Come get on my lap."
"Why? That's not in the-"
"It'll be more comfortable, especially if we doing this for a minute."
You took in a breath as you went over and straddled his lap, your legs around his waist, and your arms resting comfortably on his shoulders, wrapping around his neck.
You looked into his eyes, and god they were just gorgeous. "Angus.." You said softly.
"Yeah?"
And for .2 seconds you actually debated telling him- telling him that when you kissed him, you didn't want it just to be practice for the show. Telling him that you felt like you lived for the nights that he would facetime you and tell you dumbest shit that would just have you dead tired the next day. Telling him how much he made you laugh, and how it made you so unbearably happy every time you saw his name and knew it was the cause of your phone screen lighting up. Making sure he knew that the past 2 months of your life had gotten so much brighter just because of him.
You didn't though.
But if you had? He would've told you how he felt the exact same way. He would tell you how he loved how your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, how he loved how your nose scrunched up when you laughed. About how you were the only person who would listen to his dumb Mandela effects, even though he knew you didn't believe in all of them. And how it made him blush every time you sent him a mirror selfie on Snapchat for your streak- which he always lost.
But neither of you said anything.
Instead, you made out for a full 32 minutes with absolutely no passion, no lust, no nothing. Too scared to open up to the other due to the fear of rejection.
Until he got hard.
Again.
And that was your little 'ding!' to let you know yet again, 'he wants you.'
So your hips began to move {finally, after 32 minutes of dead nothingness} and you and Angus's lips began to fight for dominance. His hands moved from being awkwardly placed on your sides to under your shirt on your waist. Feeling his hands on your bare skin, you let out a soft moan into his mouth- which you could tell completely caught him off guard.
"Fuck you moaning for?" He teased, still not letting off of the kiss.
"For you."
He bit your lip causing you to moan yet again, your hips still bucking against his hard-on- holy fuck that felt a lot better than it should've. You grinned a bit as you felt his beard brush against your face.
"God. you're so hot."
'Oh my god' you thought, 'It's happening.'
"Baby, I have nothing on you." You replied seductively, sliding your hand down from his shoulder to his crotch.
"Fuck Jess..."
You grinned as he- wait what?
Jess- right, your characters name. Reel it in, you told yourself. This is just acting, nothing more. Just acting. Though you stayed into it, something about him calling you Jess turned you off a bit. After 10 more minutes or so you stopped, getting off of his lap and sitting on the side of him.
“Wel-”
“Yeah, that was good!” You quickly cut him off. “I definitely think our awkwardness has melted away a bit.”
“But don’t you wanna talk-” 
“We have some scenes to film at 1, its 12:30 right now so we should head to wardrobe.”
Angus looked at you with a confused expression on his face, but just nodded slowly and stood up following you out.
All you two had to film was the scene of you coming back, so it was a calm and chill collection of scenes to go through. Everything ran smoothly, and by the time you two were done around 9PM, you were as tired as could be.
“You're such a good fucking actress Y/N.” Angus complimented you as you two walked back to his trailer. He offered you to stay over for the night- just to sleep of course- and you couldn't reject the offer even if you wanted to- which you didn't want to. “Thank you,” you replied softly. “You’re quite talented as well.”
“Nah girl, I'm just being me.”
You two went into his warm trailer talking of filming the scenes, and how tired you both were. You both tried to avoid the topic of the scenes you had to film tomorrow and for the rest of the week; though you were supposedly ready, it was a strangely sore topic.
Soon showers were taken, clothes were changed, and all that was left to do was cuddle.
Angus flipped off the lights and then crawled into the bed with you. You moved closer to him, listening to his rapid heartbeat as you traced hearts on his chest. “Night Redhead.” you said softly, placing a kiss against his cheek.
“Goodnight Mamas.”
And as you lay next to him listening to his light snores, you thought about something. You thought about how though today had been so amazing, and finally, you felt as though the awkwardness had melted away… it was all acting.
Angus didn't like you; that's what you told yourself. Any man would get hard if an attractive woman was sitting on his lap, so that was self-explanatory. Any man would call you baby during a heated moment, any man would talk dirty to you in a heated moment. And a good man like Angus would always make you feel comfortable when you practiced for a scene- that's all he was doing, he wanted you to feel comfortable.
You couldn't be hurt about the situation, the whole point of doing any of that was just practicing for the scenes. And after all, Angus called you Jess, not Y/N.
But at the same time, a little part of you wouldn't stop screaming that you really really really wished he had said your name instead. A little part of you-
Your thoughts were interrupted by the soft glow of your phone lighting up along with a light vibration. A smile appeared on your face as you saw who the message was from.
Babygirl Z <3: GIRL
Babygirl Z <3: BABES ARE YOU UP??!
-yeah you okay? what's wrong?
Babygirl Z <3: shit I'm sorry but i have to tell you this
-what's wrong????? are you okay?
Babygirl Z <3: I'm fine but
-?????
Babygirl Z <3: fuck don't hate me ily okay this is for the best just remember that
-Z get to the point...
Babygirl Z <3: okay so...storm and i just did some digging and
-and?
Babygirl Z <3: and we think Angus got a girl back @ home
-
taglist:
@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins @patientplum @babygurlbarnes
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seenashwrite · 6 years
Note
Dearest Nash, I've touched on this before in (I believe) in a discussion re: why some mainstream fics get oodles of notes while more original ones do not, *but* I wanted to get a bit more specific here. There are certain writers here whose writing has a definite vibe to it (if you will) that separates their work from others, and your name is one of the first that comes to mind. Bear with me, because trying to detail what makes your writing stand out is difficult while trying to articulate a Q
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^ this is a gif with parts 2 - 4, just FYI
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Hmmm… this is a bit of a brain buster. But I can answer it, and I think succinctly, maybe with a touch of that Spidey sense you mention:
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Thank you for your inquiry, hope that helps! 
I kid. But this is a brain-turner. And a characteristic which, like you say, ain’t limited to me. I’d honestly throw comedians under this umbrella, too, not because I’m necessarily gunning for a laugh every time, but because it’s pretty much their job to take a “basic” (a tenet or fact of life or present reality or whatever) and present the observation with a twist. I think of storyteller comedians specifically, your Patton Oswalt-s, Maria Bamford-s, Kathy Griffin-s, and John Mulaney-s.
So if I can sum up, assuming I’m tracking with you, what you’re more or less driving at with the “how” is this –> Is there anything beyond simply personality, or an auto-pilot thought cascade (for lack of better terminology) that contributes? Are there things someone could do/be proactive about, to perhaps cause this same sort of reaction to happen in their brain?
I think there just might be.
Folks reading this, let me ask you a question, and you cannot look it up:
What was the name of the Sherpa guide who led Sir Edmund Hillary up Mount Everest?
.
.
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His name was Tenzing Norgay.
Nash, what in the name of the frozen corpse of George Mallory does this have to do with Lion’s question?
I shall tell you.
My father told me that fact when I was quite young, so young I legit couldn’t even ballpark my age for you. The context was that having little facts tucked away in your brain may come in handy. Not in a Jeopardy kind of way, more in a conversational way. I’ve no idea why the man thought the Sherpa guide who led Hillary up Mt. Everest would ever come up during a conversation with enough regularity to justify my knowing that fact (aside from him randomly quizzing me throughout my life) but hey, I guess it just did.
But speaking of Lil’ Nash, the situation for her was that she was the eldest of all the Nash litter by miles… like seven or eight years, I’m not bothering to check. So I had a lot of alone time, and my grandmother was my chief babysitter, so prior to kindergarten and then til I was in about second grade (so: all day long during the week, then every weekday after she picked me up from school), I was pretty much always at her house. Yeah, there were toys, but not a lot to do. And I’d read. I’d been reading on my own for a decent while, not because I was some prodigy but because my dad read to me *constantly* when Lil’ Nash was Itty-Bitty Nash, and it “took”. My mom also, every time she went to the grocery store always - and I mean always - brought back a book for me. It might’ve been an Archie comic—-
Mandatory #fuck the CW’s Riverdale tag
—-or a Babysitter’s Club, or Sweet Valley High, Judy Blume, Madeleine L’Engle, Zilpha Keatley Snyder, you get my point. Some small paperback. It would piss Dad off because he’s a cheap bastard and two buck books once or twice a month were really gonna cut into the savings [eyeroll] but also, in a way, because I’d kill it in a half day/a day. Wouldn’t put it down. After awhile, I started writing my own silly little kid stories, then - and this is where the creative writing love came about -  I started writing soap operas for my Barbies. (When I was older - like, 5th grade? 6th grade, maybe? - none of my peers were still playing with Barbies, and I got made fun of when, at a sleepover, they saw my stash. And I was like - No, no, no. Those aren’t for playing. That’s my cast.)
Time went on, and when I was bored at post-church lunch/dinners, I would also read the old encyclopedias at my grandmother’s, the ones from the late ‘60s/early ‘70s that she had for my mom and my aunt. As I got even older and became fascinated with rooting through the boxes in gran’s basement, looking at all the cool old clothes, I stumbled upon my aunt’s collection of Whoa-Hooooo Shit There’s No Way My Grandparents Knew You Read These books. Those kinda Harlequin-esque ones, except my aunt’s tastes run close to mine, none were the same shtick with different covers, shmultzy-sappy romance, there was always some sort of intrigue along with the sexy times, and she also had, like, every legit V. C. Andrews (meaning: not the ones from the ghostwriter, this was way before her death) book.
What is my point? I read a LOT. Now-a-days, other than fanfic (which… straight up: I don’t read a lot of that, either. I peace out on probs 80% of it before the third-to-fifth paragraph. It’s gotta sell me fast, yo) I haven’t read fiction in probably, oh…. 12 years? I think the last ones were the first couple Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Wait, no! I lie! I read the 50 Shades books when I was traveling 2x/wk for a job about 4 years ago, and I needed the laughs. It worked. Oh my days, that woman can’t write. The screenplay might’ve been worse, it goes her, then Buckleming, then everyone else. It’s bad. In any event, past decade or so, it’s more historical stuff and true crime and science stuff and all that old fart jazz.
Okay, so that’s #1: Read. And not just anything, be well-read, and that doesn’t mean developing some level of expertise, by “well” I’m saying to cover the spread. You’re building your tool kit, is all. You won’t use most of it, but it’s nice to have options. You also don’t always have to get this stuff from reading now-a-days, because podcasts. Cover the spread there, too. Lemme look at my bookmarks…. 
[Spongebob narrator voice: A few moments later]
I’m back. Science - Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe; General current stuff without being news - CGP Grey’s Hello Internet; current events with shittons of pop culture, past and present - Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World; fun history stuff - The Dollop; entertainment stuff - How Did This Get Made.
#2: Keep a notebook with you and jot down turns-of-phrase that spark something in your brain - things you read on websites, on twitter, in articles, things you hear people say (real life, TV, movies, podcasts), and write it. Don’t snap a pic with your phone or make a note in your phone. There are studies behind this, I’m not hunting them down, you’ll just have to trust me, but there are, and it goes to being reflexive, a brain “muscle memory” thing, if you will. You’re not doing it to plagiarize, you’re doing it to dissect it, kind’ve like you did with the example you gave on me —> went from punch action to punch spiked with booze to a punch with a spiked gauntlet.
Which leads to #3: Mental dictionary. I have a large vocab repository, and it stems from the tons of reading - I stop and look up stuff if I either don’t know it, or it’s used in such a way that I think they’ve got it wrong and want to double-check that maybe there’s another usage I don’t know - and also stems from a drive to combat the (still fairly thick) deep South drawl I can’t kick, and not for lack of trying. But see, I couldn’t have whipped out that progression if I weren’t aware that one definition of “spike” is “to add alcohol to”, or of the common shtick in stories of spiked punch like at high school proms typically, or knew about the existence of spiked gauntlets / old school armor. 
And I guarantee you that a good chunk of people didn’t really “get it”, and just thought “Nash Be Nashin’, that nutty gal”. So they “get it” on that level, but don’t Get. It., if you see what I’m saying. And that’s fine. Maybe it got something cranking in the back of their mind and it’ll hit ‘em in the middle of the night, or they’ll be watching Game of Thrones or something, see a gauntlet and be like “Oh goddamnit, I just got a throw-a-way one-liner from three years ago” and have a chuckle.
Related, re: looking stuff up and things that people “get”? I didn’t know fuck-all about Twilight, but it seemed of import to the folks around 5 years younger than me, the Nashlings wouldn’t shut up about it, so I got a good working knowledge of it. Same with Harry Potter, and through it I got to “know” J.K. Rowling, who I find to be an exceptional writer, so that was great, and I’ve watched the movies for the most part over the years at Christmastime, and I don’t give the first shit about what “house” I’m in, nor do I care about what Patronus I’d fart, but I have a working knowledge of what those are, and horcruxes and who Snape and Voldie are, you get my point. I can keep up. But to do it, I had to take the time to look it up. One thing I would not trade for gold is Michael Sheen chewing the goddamn scenery in that battle segment from the last Twilight movie. Have I watched the movie? No. But that scene is the shit. And that baby CGI is horrific on several subtle levels. And not-so-subtle. I’ve digressed.
Back to those notes: So if you’ve got these notes jotted, you might see something else and think “I feel like that could’ve been snappier…. why do I think that….” And you’ve got a resource at your disposal, that little notebook. Hell, jot that thing down - things you think could be done better. I have in many documents a highlight around chunks of scenes for my big dog story where it says in bold above or below “DO BETTER”. Meaning: there’s a better way to get from A to B, but I’m just not quite there yet. I’m pretty quick on the uptake and can crank out something snappy on the fly (like say, in CASPN chat or when banging out a short reply or thank you note) but there’s definitely times I gotta slap a DO BETTER on it and walk away til that snappy something-or-other light bulb goes off. 
Here’s a recent one where I backtracked, matter of fact - that noir spoof thing I wrote? Along with my co-writer, Moscato? There was a line that I couldn’t hit with a good zinger, so I just said moments were going by like a fat hamster on a wheel, which is cute, but not really grooving with the setting/the vibe. Less tipsy, when I was correcting some inelegant formatting and a misspelling [sigh], I went “Oh! Why didn’t this occur to me last night? Right. Wine.” So the line is now about moments dragging like a rolling donut with a copper on its tail. Get it? The cop’s a fat ass. The donut-cop stereotype.
…….Fine, it ain’t my best, but it fits better. Moving on.
And this leads nicely into #4, and a specific tip I can impart - assuming you’ve got a passable-to-high level of vocabulary in your tool belt, practice messing around with making nouns into verbs, and twisting random stuff into descriptors and using bizarre words/things in metaphors/analogies. Like, I say “adulting” quite a bit. Ali - @littlegreenplasticsoldier - I thiiiink was writing recently about Sam being drunk, and he’s a tall wobbly Jenga tower on his last Jenga. Going back to the noir, pulpy detective style, try messing with the whole “S/he was like a ___ that ____”. Add on to stuff that’s well known - He was like a dog with a bone, if the bone was a ____ and he was a ____ and we were in a ____. (I have *nothing* in mind to fill those blanks, by the way, feel free to twist it into sumpin’)
What else…. okay, here’s a #5: In drafts, let yourself wander, and see what kicks out. It can be fueled by silliness or anger, but I don’t reckon you’re gonna get the “snappy” you’re aiming for if you’re down in the dumps and going full-court-press angst. The best stuff, IMO, comes from the space in between goofy and pissed, and that is The Land Of Snark. You can always re-style it to bend more dry or wistful should you need to, certainly, depending on the situation.
Have a sample of a primo Nash Digression that was fueled by ire in a recap from Season 12 (episode 19). I had said - RE: the random inclusion of the character Joshua, which still pisses me off because they burned a character that held massive potential for future stuff as he’d been shown to be the only angel with direct access to Chuck, so, y’know, that could never come in handy, like ever again in the series, right? - the following.
Mandatory pre-emptive #fuck Dabb
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[Spongebob narrator voice] A few moments later —> 
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On god, I have no idea where that came from, and here’s where we go back to ol’ Spidey up there, because end of the day?
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All that other stuff’s the foundation, sure, but there’s always gonna be the weird iggy, the thing that can’t be learned or taught, whatever the quirky synapse is that fires off in my/our brains. In my experience, it’s an ADD-ish sort of jam mixed with the Nostradamus effect. Meaning, (A) we’re at Level 10, rapid fire thought processing >50% of the time, and (B) throw out enough stuff for long enough, some of it’s going to stick. And I whiff it plenty. Multiple times in CASPN chat I’ve been like “Whoo, tough room” when something falls flat.
A specific example: @mrswhozeewhatsis - and I think you saw this, but anyone else seeing this may not have - gave probably the most fantastic analogy I’ve seen regarding the whole “getting it” thing, and while it was on the topic of meaty plots that get too far into the weeds (my specialty) and how it can lessen appeal to a broader audience, it still applies here. 
She said “Sometimes, when I’m reading something of yours, I feel like there’s a joke I’m missing. It’s like watching Spaceballs without having seen Star Wars.” I say that to say - nobody’s gonna land references that cover the spread 100% of the time. And, y’know, fine. I figure maybe it’ll prompt someone to do a quick google for - well, let’s use Spaceballs. Most folks will no doubt get the Star Wars part, but maybe not Spaceballs. Maybe they’ll check it out, find something they enjoy. Or learn a new word. Or get a brainstorm for a story. Who knows?
Last tip: Don’t actively mimic anyone’s style. Much fail. And I don’t only mean because if they’re on a social Venn diagram with you, would likely recognize themselves in your stuff——
Takes a moment to wave to the peeps still trying with me! #bless your hearts
—–but because it’s fucking hard. I did it broadly on the noir thing, that’s not a hard thing, to homage generalities, but the way I’m messing with doing this on that silly Princess Bride series? Purposefully styling it like Goldman? It’s good  challenging and all, and it is making it feel more in the groove with the book/movie, but I have to be in the right frame of mind or it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard, and when I have pushed it, then gone back, it’s sloggy, soggy garbage.
I say all that to say: it’s an amalgam of brain-wiring/personality, and world/life perspective(s), and knowledge acquired over time. The first just is; the second will evolve in myriad ways, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse; the last is the one where you/we have control, we can fill bucket after bucket of information, and the well won’t ever run dry.
Sorry this took so long. I kept adding and subtracting. This is the edited version, if you can believe it. Welcome to Nash Brain. 😉
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tictacti · 7 years
Text
I Owe You Nothing.
What is it about me that elicits abusive and possessive behavior?
My first boyfriend and I broke up 6 years ago when I was 16 years old. He was mentally abusive, and that pretty much summed up the relationship. I was timid, meek, and so codependent that I was terrified of losing him because he literally felt like my second half. That’s how codependent people are. I didn’t have any hobbies or friends, he was my hobby and friend. The only thing he can possibly miss about having me, is the fact that I was an object he could boss around, because that is ALL I was.
Fast forward and he’s occasionally messaged me asking to hang out since. I’ve always politely declined, but also forgave him for his previous abuse. He has relentlessly apologized and claimed he changed.
Here is where it becomes evident that he HAS NOT changed. Even though I have accepted his apology, he doesn’t understand why I won’t give him a second chance. A normal, non-abusive/possessive person, understands that sometimes people just don’t want to get back with an ex. But no. He proceeds to accuse me of being a vengeful, grudge holding woman. This must be the reason that I don’t want to get back with someone that has a borderline IQ, a fascination with killing, a history of being mentally abusive, along with a few extra pounds since high school.
He finally stops being so accusatory. We’re friends on Facebook, Instagram, and eventually snapchat.
Everyone uses their social media apps differently. I use my snapchat to give my friends glimpses into my simple and boring life, and I also enjoy watching glimpses into their lives.
Every time I uploaded something to my story, he would respond with a private message, often ending with a question, which instigated some kind of conversation. I rarely use snapchat for conversation. Considering the fact that no one else on my snapchat replies to every single story update expecting a commentary, I think many people rarely use snapchat for conversation. I would sometimes briefly reply, with a “lol” or something short and sweet.
At one point, he asks me out on a date. After I politely decline, he gets upset, and attempts to convince me that he was not asking me on a romantic type of date, that he just wanted to be friends.
After a few of these short replies, he called me by a nickname that he gave me when we dated. This nickname was clearly not something that two platonic friends would say. Also, the nickname was a mean, body-shaming nick-name then, and it still is now; and incredibly weird since we hadn’t been romantically involved for 6 years. It was the equivalent to calling your boyfriend “lil dick” if he had a small penis, or “jelly belly” if he was a little bit chubby. It was an insult that he turned into a nick-name.
After this I don’t reply. Hoping that he’ll get the hint. He shockingly expresses upset with the fact that I’m not replying. Before I can delete him, he sends me another snap message that I don’t read.
Of course, within a day, he had sent me a paragraph long message on Instagram. From reading the first few words, “At first I thought you were just stressed out…” that it was going to end something like, “but you’re actually just a horrible bitch because you won’t give me what I want. I hate you because you won’t bow down to me and let me pretend you’re my property like I used to. I hope you die alone because it’s not fair that you want other people’s penis’ more than mine. Go kill yourself.”
Of course, the second part will forever remain a mystery, because I’m not going to read it and I blocked him on Instagram, and everything else.
The reasons I have come to these conclusions about his current state of mind, is because of his current behavior. Not because of things that happened 16 years ago.
I wrote this for 2 reasons. I hope victims in this situation do not feel pressured at all to partake in any kind of communication that makes them uncomfortable. Exes do not deserve anything from you. No explanation, no second chances, not even kindness.
As for everyone, don’t attempt to push a relationship with someone. If it isn’t working, just let it go. If you start to feel angry at a person for not communicating with you, take a step back. Calm down. Look at your actions.
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