whenever something triggering comes up and I'm not able to distract myself, I feel so muddy inside. I feel like I'm gross and my body is gross and it's never going to go away... and I just start crying no matter where i am or how appropriate it is. I really hate myself and exposure therapy has never worked, I don't remember enough of what happened to do it properly and I know it's supposed to be bad at first and then get better but I tried it for years and it never got better. I really hate this and I hate myself
Uh. I’m kind of going through something that is akin to a deconversion from a religion or leaving a cult. It’s not a “real” cult or religion per se - there’s no central leader really and it’s not entirely spiritual, though there are some pseudo-spiritual components.
And I’m kind of mad at myself that I believed it for so long, but in a way I was conditioned from a very young age to believe it. It’s SO obviously not true - like anyone with eyes can tell you it’s not true. But the thing is I’ve been in it for so long and I’ve heard all the talking points, and as a kid they made sense, but then I started listening to people who disagreed. At first I thought they were completely wrong and ignorant and just didn’t have all of the information.. but then I realized that they were people just like me who had once been believers (for lack of a better word) and had become disillusioned by this thing. They knew all the talking points, and they had better and more rational explanations than some people who claim to be experts on the matter.
Anyway, this whole thing has sort of warped my sense of reality. And you’ll notice that I haven’t really gone into detail as to what exactly this thing is. Well, I can’t. I literally can’t tell you. It’s a secret. Almost like an infohazard. Because if I tell you, you’ll completely reject me, and write me off. Literally all of my friends believe in this thing - yes, even you reading this will most likely believe in this thing, thought you wouldn’t see it as a belief. You would see it as the unquestioned truth, just like christians believe they have the Answer with a capital A. So I can’t tell my friends what I’m going through in detail. I feel like an atheist in church.
♡ Neema / Gabriel / N / Boss / Wesker
♡ 23 / ♍☀ ♐☾ ♓↑
♡ He/Him + It/It’s + Fae/Faer
♡ Transmasc Transexual Cripplepunk Fag
♡ Disabled + Autistic + ADHD + Plural
♡ Gay Angel ENBY
♡ 1312 / 🏴🚩 / Free Palestine / Land Back
♡ Krauser Wifeguy, Real wife to @willinyanbirkin
Reconnecting White Indigenous Karjalaine 💚❤️🖤
Currently into: Resident Evil, ULTRAKILL, Dead by Daylight, Dungeons & Dragons, Cyberpunk 2077, and VTM.
Do not follow me if you are a Proshipper
I do post NSFW. 🔞only, Minors DNI
Please softblock to break mutuals.
You can find me on twitter as well
My Web Weaves / My Art
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☆ I’m Greta! I’m an artist and this blog is mostly about danganronpa and my danganronpa art! I have separate blog for my OCs. I like to make friends and I’m looking for mutuals so feel free to shoot me asks and talk to me! Just pls be nice :) Welcome!
♡ my own creations and gushing posts will be posted on this blog. I do blog about personal stuff such as fixations, events, ect!
♡ my main interests caters around western cartoons so be aware of that! I also enjoy nostalgic toys/media, crochet, trinket collecting, stationery and horror!
♡ as this is a self ship blog, I do not mind fandom blogs following or interacting with me but be aware that I am not a fandom blog
♡ I hc my male fos to be either a woman or under the nb umbrella. Please don’t refer to them as men around me and respect that! <3
♡ i reblog my pals’ content on @cherubdulce-rbs this is so I can be organized and support others! 🫶🏽 however, I’ll rb others promos posts here for obvious reasons
♡ my ask box and dms are always open for ppl to gush about their f/o or just have a simple chat ^_^ I love making new friends
♡ please do not take it personal if I don’t follow back. I get quite selective/careful when following others due to past experiences. I also prefer having a small circle
♡ i dont do “x do not look” tags whenever I post my friends ships here or in my rb blog so it’s best to filter my friends tags if possible
♡ if we’re close mutuals and suddenly have a crush on my main fos, I will not unfollow without a warning. Though I highly suggest to dm me about so we can establish boundaries! <3
♡ there is a possibility I’ll post suggestive content (not straight up nsfw, more like laugh posts) so I’d rather prefer people above the age of 16 to interact with me !! (exceptions when it comes to commissioning me)
♡ As said above, I do have a nsf.w blog feel free to dm me the url !