#like ime ace is... not even near a guarantee to avoid that stuff. aro is better but not necessarily

[just-aro]

talked with some irl queer friends about the whole "everyone assumes I'm ace when I come out as aro or mention being aro" thing.

they noted "yeah, it's like they're practically asking 'do you fuck or not?'" and immediately launched into that topic. and... okay, i see how alloallo ppl make this assumption. but, the point was not that. the conflating of my identity with another similar but not accurate identity was the point, especially in terms of the widespread nature. plus allosexual does not equal fucks and asexual does not equal does not fuck.

called them in on it, which they responded well to, and with thought about how they could do better. but i think that response still said a lot in that moment.

#aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #non sam aro #text #and genuinely they responded well to me calling them in on it and saying hey #i know that you mean well but you're conflating ace with not having sex in trying to avoid conflating aro with ace #and that's not good either #and they were like oh yeah we are #that's not great and we shouldn't do that #but yeah just... feels like a-spec stuff gets conflated to easier connections and meanings a lot of the time #which is frustrating #like im thinking of those discussing gender with cis vs trans ppl posts #but like literally basic a-spec terminology with pretty much anyone but aroallo and non-sam folks and everyone else #like ime ace is... not even near a guarantee to avoid that stuff. aro is better but not necessarily #and even when ppl try to be good about it they tend to basically take any route they can to make it that sex only occurs with romance #or close friends #and like :/// hmmmmm