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hunting-winchester · 3 years

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My thoughts on the finale

(Sorry, this ended up being soooo much longer than I intended, but it was also therapeutic for me to get it out, so if you read it all, sorry again, but thanks!)

I’ve been sitting on this for the past week trying to sort through my feelings about all of this. But the finale of Supernatural, while it did make me cry because my comfort show for the past 3 years (has it really only been 3 years since I started this side blog?) has ended, which was my distraction from the deaths of not only close family but also a friend whose death still affects me today. The newer seasons helped me more in the dealing with death, and I’ll explain that later, but I feel like the end of the show kind of took all of that and threw it out the window with a note that states “we don’t care.”

I’m not here to be mad at the actors. I know none of this is their fault. They did their best to make a great end to a show that was written for them. Their acting was spot on and made me feel for the characters that both them and I love so much. However, the ending took that love and put it through the grinder and I do put most (if not all) the blame on the network.

So I binged Supernatural in the summer of ‘17 within a month. I started it because I remembered my mom watching an episode when I was about 7 or 8 and I was so fascinated by it (episode Route 666 where Dean hangs up on Sam after the ghost truck disappears because Sam had a hunch that the truck couldn’t drive on hallowed ground. Dean didn’t like the idea that it was just a hunch, sticks in my mind). Within the first 5 episodes I was in love with the boys, and while I loved them both I became drawn to Dean over the next few seasons. Now I love them both, but like many others I started to see myself in him. Some anger issues with a heart so big that he would do anything to help his family. And a little bit of self depreciation that starts to escalate a bit more as the seasons go on.

Then I made it to Lazarus Rising. I met this absolute badass character who later becomes part of the family. He grows into the most kind hearted character that tries to do everything in the name of good, even when it tends to go a little off the rails. Then I saw a little bit of me in him as well. Good intentions, sometimes misguided, and only wants the best for the ones he loves.

I’ll focus more on the season I was here live for, not because the earlier seasons didn’t matter but because this is where things became really personal in my life. Supernatural 13 started on October 12, and on the 23rd I lost my friend. Everything started falling apart around me and nothing made sense. Nothing made sense about why them because it should be the terrible people that die terrible deaths, not good people. And while nothing seemed right in the world, I knew one thing for sure- that Supernatural will still be on just as scheduled and nothing could take that from me. So I made sure to still find time to watch that episode because I’ll be damned if I let this whole week go to hell. Let me find at least one good thing to happen. And while the scene didn’t fix the shitshow that became my life that week, a little bit of happiness raised in me when I saw Cas in the last scene of the episode.

So especially from that point on the show became of my little world away from reality. My reality sucked and, sure the Winchester’s lives weren’t all sunshine and rainbows, it was a nice distraction for an hour a week when I can watch the characters I care about continue to keep loving the ones they love.

The season continued then ended with a nice lead into season 14. I love Jensen and was ready to see how he would tackle the new role of Michael. So ready for the new season, in a new town 3 hours away from my hometown, (motivation being that I felt too close to everything that happened with my friend) and just ready to see where life would take me. Then I lost my Grandfather and my Aunt within a month of each other and absolutely no one would hire in the town I moved to. So another shitty summer and I end up moving back home within 3 months.

I continued watching Supernatural when it aired again in October; grateful for the hour weekly distraction again, and I kept up with it. I would log onto here after the episode, reblog things and read people’s reactions. I enjoy this community so much. Then the episode came in ‘19 where Dean was in the infirmary after having his head bashed against the wall a couple times and Jack was worried about whether he’d get through it. And the speech Cas gave is something that has stuck with me ever since then, because since the death of my friend it had been the same thing I had been telling myself.

Jack: What’s the point- if everyone I care about is just gonna leave?

Cas: The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them. When they’re gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.

This felt absolutely validating to me. I was tired of hurting. I was done with and angry at everything and felt as if I just wanted it to be gone, but I kept telling myself that it only hurts because I loved them so much. When I heard that line, watching my favorite character recite it to Jack, it felt as if he was talking to me because it was something that I needed to hear at that point in my life. It felt as if they knew I needed saving and reached through the screen to pull me up and say what you’re feeling is valid and there are people out there who are feeling like you are now, and all of you will end up okay.

So I took this to heart and lived the best I could everyday. I turned that into my mantra and started living the life I knew they would want me to; with kindness and love and understanding.

I owe a lot to these characters. I owe my ability to go forth with kindness and understanding to Cas for making me feel valid. I owe my ability to move past my anger and finding my identity to Dean. I owe a lot to Misha and Jensen to bringing these characters to the point that I can feel all of this. To get to the point that I may be a little healthier than I was 3 years ago.

And then season 15. The final season. The season where I say goodbye.

It started out as a nice tribute I believe. They had brought back some old characters that we had missed (lordy I missed Kevin and Adam). They did some things that we had talked about a lot on this platform that we would love to see before the series ended. It seemed like it would be a good ending to a show we all love. We saw what our boys went through all these years and they were evident in the beginning of the season and was slowly being pulled through the season. We saw how they differed from the early season and got to see them with their new-found family. Do I wish more of the episode included more of TFW 2.0? Of course, but I’m still happy we got as much as we did... up until the end.

Episode 18. We knew it was coming before it happened. There was so much speculation about this after the convention where Misha and Jensen had both talked about the emotional scene that Richard Speight Jr. directed. How it was a hard day on set and that absolutely no one was cracking jokes during this time which was a really big indication about how important this scene would be. We knew what would happen, but we didn’t know what all would happen.

We got Cas’ confession, and as much as some are like “you can interpret that as you like,” we knew what was meant here. We knew where Cas was coming from and to see his happiness to save the one that he loves was something I will never forget from when I first watched it.

And after all this hype for this after the fact, not just from fans but also the actors, we knew there had to be more to this. This was a monumental moment! There had to be more! But we know where this is going.

Episode 19. Not much to report. Which as Jensen had put it, episode 19 was the season finale and episode 20 would be the series finale. Episode 19 ended like I thought it would generally. Chuck is finished. Jack is the new God (which some of us guess would happen at the beginning of the season. I feel amazed we got something right after the fiasco that is episode 20). I still don’t understand the montage at the end of 19. That’s what I would have expected at the end of 20. If only we knew that was the first of SO. MANY. DAMN. POINTLESS. MONTAGES. But I’ll move on for now.

Episode 20. If you would have asked me 13 years ago how this show would end, I feel as if this episode would be pretty damn close to my answer. That’s not good writing. “Oh Dean dies and Sam gets to live and have an ‘apple pie’ life. Makes total sense!” And that would make sense if nothing in the last 13 years happened. There has been so much growth in not only the last 13 years but also just within the last season, and it’s just all gone. Dean dies, not because he wanted to, but because of another hunt that his dad didn’t even finish. Something that could have been done in season 1. He dies, not ready, not having the chance to finally experience freedom from his “destiny” (something that this show has made them fight against since the introduction of the angels might I add!), not giving an ounce of effort to stay alive, and not ever really finding peace. I’m sorry but there was absolutely no way that Dean could find the shred of peace he deserved within 2 weeks of escaping Chuck’s grasp. But this is where I started having issues in the episode.

Dean, a character I love and saw myself in for years, dies before he finds peace and in all honesty, true happiness. A character that has been known for suicidal actions and thoughts (episode 13x05 ring a loud bell?) and you decide to say he needs to die before it gets better? Or were you saying that it only gets better or peaceful for people like him after he dies? Because either way that sends a really shitty message. I don’t think I have found my peace. I think I’m better than I was a couple years ago, much like Dean, but I sure as Hell haven’t found my peace. So are you telling me that death is the only way I find it? Because I’m sure I’m not the only one reading it like this.

Dean gets a small hunter’s funeral (if you want to even call it that). No one they befriended or became family with along the way is there (sure, blame Covid. I’m sure it was part of it, but Hell. Surely something could have been done to bring at least a couple more people in for this). Then we get Dean’s heaven where Cas is mentioned in a throw away comment that you would miss if you weren’t intently paying attention (he’s out of the empty and helped with Dean’s heaven. Awesome. Show him then). We literally only see one person in Dean’s heaven. Bobby. Which he is great, but what about the “everyone we lost on the way” that was seriously just mentioned the episode before? They not there?

And from here, we get even more montages. Why the Hell, do we need to fast forward through Sam’s life, with shots of Dean driving around heaven? Why not explore more into Sam’s family (not just the wife and kids but also check up on Donna? Jody? Sweet goodness any indication of what the Hell happened to Eileen!?) Why not show Dean seeing his loved ones in his heaven? WHY NOT SHOW DEAN SEEING CAS AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN 18? So much could have been done following up what happened in 18 and it was chosen to be ignored! Which is awful in so many damn ways, but it doesn’t matter for this because it was completely ignored. And after that 10 min montage (which montages should not last that long. I don’t care what anyone says. If a montage lasts that long, they could have made important scenes pertaining to that) Sam dies old and is greeted by Dean in Heaven and we look off into the sunset because finally we’re all happy... and dead.

All of this, and it feels like the message through this whole thing is “yall can fight for happiness, but yall won’t get it until you’re 6 feet down in a grave!” No peace. No found family. No fighting the good fight. Just death is the end, and that’s all that matters... and that’s where it all stings. I watched the characters I see myself in for years, got validation from them and felt as if things for them could get better after all of this, maybe they could for me too. Only things didn’t get better for them. It ended in death and only “happiness” after the fact. This isn’t a message I expected from this show, but it sure as Hell is the message I received.

So thanks C*W. Way to make all of this “keep fighting” mean absolute shit. You did a bang up job murdering a show you housed for years.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #supernatural 15 #spn 15 #supernatural season 15 #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #jensen ackles #misha collins #jared padalecki #alex calvert #spn 15x20 #carry on

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arincist · 3 years

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Supernatural just ended and this is the fucking last time that I'm speaking about it so this is going to be a long-long rant.

I want to speak separately about all the "main" (cause apparently in the writers eyes Castiel and Jack were never main characters) characters first and rate their ending cause why not?

Jack Kilne 6/10

Okay so he became the New and Better God in 15x19 which is cool and I'm happy about it that was genuinely a good choice. They've been hinting at is since Castiel said that Jack will make the world a better place. What I don't really like is that the second after he became that he fucking dipped. I kind of understand why, but it just sucked. He didn't bother to even consider bringing back the man that he called a parent one or two episodes ago and that was simply out of character from him. I know that he became God and that changed him in some ways. But the Jack Kline we know would've never left Castiel in the Empty (or super mega extra hell as some people like to call it). Some people assumed that he didn't bring him back because the winchesters didn't ask him to do it. But that's not the fucking point. He would've/should've brought him back simply because he loved him. Also he was mentioned 2 times in the finale and didn't make an appearance so I'm pissed of about that too.

Sam Winchester 7/10

I admit it until season 15 I was a Sam girl, but since they sidelined him the entire season there wasn't much to talk about him. He was there, ignored and lied to by Dean, Castiel and Jack until up to 15x19. I repeat again nothing much happened in the last season regarding Sam up until the last couple episodes. That small detail already bothered me.

Next up is... the fact that if Dean never showed up in the first ever episode to tell him the famous "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and the yellow eyed demon didn't burn Jessica he would've had the same ending he got in this episode. Don't get me wrong he is the only one who kinda get the ending he deserved but where is the fucking character development? This man has been through hell, died 2 or 3 times, fought Leviathans, did the trials, was Lucifers vessel and so many other things that now I can't remember for him to settle for a suburban life? Don't get me wrong he is genuinely the only one who I think got the best ending but still the fact that his definition of a good life hasn't changed since season one doesn't sit right with me.

Anyways the whole character development thingy aside... having him watch his brother die, unable to help him and then him having to live a long life with that thought and without the brother he cherished so much. That shit's just evil.

But at least I'm assuming he married Eileen, I'll also assume he finished college and got to live the mundane life he wished for. So I'm not angry about him.

Dean Winchester -10/10

What the actual fuck. No but really what the fuck.

Him fucking dying in a hunt, scared and in pain just a couple days or weeks after he got the freedom he wanted so much. The writers literally let him eat a couple pies and went okay that was your happiness you can die now. This man has been through soooo much and a fucking nail kills him? He fought leviathans, demons, angels, archangels, witches and Gods and he dies on a vampire hunt by a nail in his back. This is just ridiculous. I like how the writers thought that his death will make the viewers emotional, wellp bitch you only made me anpgry.

Also them leaving Dean in the closet? Where was the grieving? Why he brushed off Castiels death so easily when Sam mentioned him. This is the man who literally wanted to die in season 13 after Castiel died and you're telling me he didn't bother talking about him? You're telling me that apparently he didn't tell Sam about Castiels confession? What in the actual fuuuuck.

A couple days ago I was worried that they might set Dean up with a woman and have a kid named after Castiel. That was the worst ending that I imagined for him and you know what the writers did? They fucking looked us in the eyes and went... I bet I can do it worse, and they fucking killed him off.

What bothers me about his death the most is that he was sooo scared. He was so scared of dying that he asked Sammy to stay with him. After everything he's been through he deserved to live a happy life. He deserved it so much.

Dean Winchester deserved to be openly bi and proud about it. He deserved to die from old age. The Dean that the fandom loves would've addressed Castiels confession. He would've told Sam (if not to Castiel since they didn't bring him back) how much and for how long he loved Castiel. He would've done everything in his power to get Castiel out of the Empty.

We deserved to see Dean be happy and alive. The fact that they only let him be happy in Heaven just makes me sick.

We deserved to see Dean come out as bisexual to Sam.

We deserved to see Dean unapologetically love Castiel.

But what did we get? We got a scared, dying, crying Dean holding onto Sam.

Castiel fuck you/10

No but really fuck you and how dare you.

How dare you make Castiel confess his love and let him die thinking that it was a one sided love. How dare you let him rot in the Empty, a place that is literally worse then hell. And how dare you treat his character like he wasn't important.

Destiel aside. He had the biggest character development out of everyone. He was a dad to Jack, a devoted friend to the Winchesters. The Winchesters would've never made it this far if Castiel didn't exist. There I said it. Castiel saved everyone again and again. He was always so selfless and loving towards them. Even his last act was one of kindness and love.

He sacrificed himself for Dean, only for him to die a couple weeks later by accident?

He confessed his love only for Dean to not even mention the whole thing to anyone?

The writers didn't deserve Castiel, that's all I have to say and that I am very disappointed in the way they handled him in the last 2 episodes. Because there was so much potential and they choose to ignore it.

Overall I rate the series finale 3/10 (and those 3 points are just because of Sam's ending and that we got to see Bobby).

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