#like it’s not even the same game anymore at that point

[tonkatsubowl]

disheartening.

▼ huuuge spoilers.

▼ sam x reader

▼ sam confesses to you.

you already knew of firefly's true identity when she felt comfortable enough showing you her true colors. the two of you were already close as it is, but the moment she introduced herself as the stellaron hunter, you were confused about your friendship. were you truly allies or enemies?

the memories the both of you made together... where she lead you to the scenic view of penacony, where the both of you spent time together playing games in the arcade area...

and when she revealed herself to be your enemy, you were confused. stellaron hunters are supposed to be your enemy—why hasn't she harmed you in any way? she protected you, even.

you sat there, in the same scenic view that firefly originally shown you in the past, pondering to yourself...about everything that has happened to you so far. you were lost in thought, until you heard metallic footsteps approach you from behind.

immediately, you materialized your weapon, spinning around to see who it was—only for firefly—no, sam—to reveal himself.

"... firefly?"

you questioned, unsure if he was a friend or foe at this point.

"what are you doing here?"

you hear sam sigh through hid armor as he approached you, seating himself on the bench as he gazed upon the horizon. "i wanted to see you. i had a feeling you'd be here." he looks towards you, and even with that helmet on, you could tell he was softened by your appearance.

"you wanted to see me? ... you aren't going to try to hurt me, are you?"

sam shook his head, "no. there's something i wanted to tell you."

"...why now? i have no many questions, and—"

"i know, (y/n), i know you have alot, but i can't answer them now... because i have something more important to tell you."

the man in armor pats the spot next to him, and you were reluctant to sit. but you dematerialized your weapon as you sat next to him, closely, even. he felt relieved that there was some trust you had for him, but... still.

a stellaron hunter. your enemy.

"... from the memories we had together when you were with 'me', i found myself lost in my feelings for you."

you paused. you look from the scenic view, then to sam with a puzzled look. "what are you saying?"

"i'm saying..." a sigh. he was quiet. you could tell he was vulnerable with you at this very moment.

"... (y/n), i'm in love with you."

you froze up, your heart began to pound when you heard his confession. you were silent, unsure how to respond.

"i... i don't know what to say," you murmur, "is this another trick? i... i'm sorry, i just-"

"i understand." sam says, shaking his head. "i just needed to get that out there. we're... naturally enemies, after all. and we've fought before, and i've held back. i definitely did not wish to hurt you."

you were quiet. what were you supposed to say? you weren't sure of your feelings anymore, and... you wanted to leave. your heart began to race and you began to feel light headed. your trust issues, they were... you just didn't know anymore.

so, you got up.

"i-i'm sorry. i just... firefly, i don't know." you say sam's real identity instead, "i... i just... i'm sorry."

that was when you immediately dismissed yourself, quickly exiting the scene. your eyes teared up, your heart aching.

you weren't sure what to do. you felt your world spin, and spin, and spin.

what could you do or say in a situation like this?

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr firefly #hsr firefly x reader #hsr sam #hsr sam x reader

[shatcey]

William is almost perfect

I remember very vaguely (what's the point of remembering something that has already changed) that I was opposed William for a very long time. I didn't like his creepy eyes, I was very scared of his abilities, and of course I didn't like how much the developers were pushing us in his direction. It's Newton's third law in action, I guess.

But when I started reading his route on JP, I was surprised how different he was from what I expected.

And at the end of his route, I cannot say I fell for him, but I really start to respect him as an incredibly strong person with a very strong life philosophy.

But… When I started reading his route on EN… It turned out that I had missed so many details. I didn't understand half of his jokes and his very poetic way of expressing his thoughts. He's like a very strong magnet. Everything he does has a huge impact on me, and I understand why (almost said Belle) Kate fell for him so much.

He is very kind, patient, always listens to what she wants, always gives her what she wants. His voice is strong and soft at the same time, it has flirtatious notes and it's incredibly warm. His laugh is one of a kind… so infectious, honest and bright. I can't remember the last time I heard real laughter in a game. No, that's a lie… Wolfie has a wonderful laugh.

Back to Willy...

I like his design, in fact, all his expressions. I like the way he talks. I like that he touches Kate often, but not in a way that it start to seems oppressive or bothersome. And I really like the moments when he judges… He is so strong and tall, righteous indeed, and so, so hot… like fire… no, even more than that.

But where is the one, no, two things that keep me from falling for him completely.

I have never understood the mass obsession with roses and strawberries. They are quite common and, in my opinion, quite ordinary. But so many people are obsessed with them, as if nothing better had ever existed. I think this is probably the result of good marketing, nothing more. So… as you've probably already guessed, I don't like either one. I can't say I don't like them, I just can't call them my favorites. And Will… he, like most people, likes these two things.

He smells like roses. I can't even imagine that. This smell is very sweet and (perhaps this will sound like sexism) feminine. If he likes it, so be it, I just can't imagine a man who wearing this scent in real life.

Funny… I didn't mind the vanilla from Liam and mint from Harry. They also smell sweet, but somehow more neutral. Hey… I don't remember Ellie's smell… And Alfie… No, I remember Alfie, he smelled of several scents, after all, he spent a lot of time with a lot of people… Does this mean that he has no smell? It reminds me of the Perfumer... No! Gross! Awful thought! Go away!!! Shoo…

Back to Willy...

So… I really like his route. And I feel each Kate's pain as my own, and that makes it quite personal. But no matter how good Will is, roses have always been and will be a turn off to me. I'm sorry, Willy…

You're not making it easy for me, aren't you?…

Off topic

I still don't have much free time. But I believe this weekend I will finally be able to read Liam's 1st anniversary epilogue. And hopefully there will be something interesting that I want to share with you. If not, I'll come up with something else…

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🔝 Start page 🔝

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#cybird ikemen #cybird #ikemen series #ikemen games #ikemen villains #ikemen villians #ikevil #william rex #ikemen william #ikevil william #liam evans #ikemen villains liam #ikevil liam #ikemen liam #harrison gray #ikevil harrison #elbert greetia #ikemen villains elbert #ikevil elbert #alfons sylvatica #ikemen alfons #ikevil alfons

[adudelolwriting]

oooo for the ask game, "lovers to enemies" with either Brian and Tim or Jay and Tim? <:)

so uh . i went a bit overboard with this. heres 1.2k words, hopefully you enjoy !! (ask game here)

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian and Tim had been friends.

They had met in college, and the two quickly got along. It was strange, for Tim. He had just met the taller man, and it was clear Brian was always going to be there for him. They even shared the same living space during college.

Brian didn't have a car, and so Tim drove him a lot. That's how he met Alex, through Brian. Tim had never been interested in acting before, but Brian insisted he at least tried out, and Tim got the part.

The start was… fun. There were a lot of jokes, goofing off, and just hanging around. But as the weeks went, Alex changed before stopping production completely and never being seen again. Okay, sure. Whatever.

Brian left.

He still kept contact with Tim, but now it was only through calls and texts after he finished college. The house they shared seemed emptier. 

Brian doesn't keep in contact with Tim anymore. He knew the day would come eventually, but Tim's heart still squeezed with grief. Maybe he had convinced himself that Brian would be different, his first friend out in the real world. (Tim shakes his head. He doesn't need to think about this.)

Tim is losing time. He's blacking out, waking up in the middle of the woods or street or field, hours, days, weeks from what he last remembered. He always wakes up with a shitty plastic mask, and he throws it out but somehow it's always back.

This goes on for years. The medication starts to help.

Tim still misses Brian, as he finishes moving out of this house. Tim misses him a lot, seeing everything that still reminded him of Brian. He shakes his head, taking one last look at the house, holding the last box of his things. It felt like a goodbye, a real, proper one. "I miss you, Brian," Tim mutters under his breath before turning away for the last time.

Tim gets a random call one day. It's Jay, who's asking about Marble Hornets. It brings back to many memories, but Tim still says he can help where he can. They line up a time to meet, and Jay seems very insistent on knowing information about Alex, but, whatever. The two weren't that close in college, but Tim supposes he was around enough. He answers Jay's questions, and soon enough Tim's left with a "I'll call you later and let you know."

Something's wrong.

Tim's blacking out again. It's been harder to keep stable jobs. It feels like his life is falling apart again. 

Tim's being stalked by someone. They wear a yellow hoodie, and have something covering their face. They're pretty good at hiding — Tim's only seen them once or twice. (Who knows how many times they've been here?)

The hooded figure is fast. Tim can never hope to catch up to them. 

Tim contacted Jay, this time. He found some old tapes from back when Marble Hornets was being filmed, and figured the other would enjoy having some. Tim can't remember what's on them, but hopefully it'll be something useful for Jay.

Jay lied.

Tim can be a very angry person. He knows this — that's why he tries to keep it under wraps. But when he sees Jay again, he couldn't hold himself and he punches Jay. He lied. He lied. He never wanted to continue Marble Hornets. He just wants information and wanted to play hero.

Tim was doing fine. He was doing better. Then Jay came around, pointing his stupid camera everywhere, and suddenly everything went down the drain! Tim's whole life was coming undone because someone wants to play detective, someone wants to try and help people who can't be helped!

He never wants to see Jay again after this. He never wants to hear the words Marble Hornets, or tapes, or cameras or anything. 

Tim missed Brian. He's been thinking of him recently, with the film on his mind more than normal. Brian was sweet, kind, caring, patient. Everything Tim wasn't. 

Tim… god, Tim missed him.

His medication is going missing.

He knows this — he knows he had some earlier. He saw it. But then it just wasn't there when Tim needed it, when Tim's coughing fits lead to seizures. Which leads to blacking out, and waking up face down in the dirt.

With the last person he wanted to see, apparently. Jay had also been taken out here, that damned camera left with him and letting him record everything as if it has no effect on anyone else. 

Tim wouldn't say he was depressed. But god, days like these? It made Tim feel like nothing was worth it. But he had to keep going. Even if he always throws away this mask, but it always ends up back in his hands, or his house, or car. 

Tim wasn't as angry as he was before with Jay, but he still didn't want to be walking through Rosswood with the man.

Tim and Jay started working together. It seems the universe wanted them to stick together. 

Jay tried to attack Tim. Tim hid one tape from Jay, because it was about Jessica, and Tim knew he would react badly. But bringing a knife? Did Jay really think that was going to be okay? 

Tim tied Jay up, took his camera and knife, and left. Jay would be fine at his own house while Tim left to look around Benedict Hall. 

Jay escaped. Jay went to Benedict Hall. Jay was shot. Jay was dead.

Jay was dead.

Jay was dead.

Tim went home. Everyone he knows is dead or missing or left him.

Tim goes back to the college. He's going to find Alex. 

He finds the hooded figure. (Why do they seem familiar?)

He chases them. (Tim needs to take revenge.)

Up a flight of stairs. The figure is hanging over the balcony. 

Anger fills Tim's veins, and then the body drops. 

Silence.

Tim looks over the edge, and the body is unmoving. Tim makes his way back down, and they're not breathing. (Ignore that.) Tim searches their pockets, pulling out a tape and some of his medication. He's been out for a while now. Tim downs two pills. 

The tall creature shows up before Tim could unmask the hooded figure. Tim runs back home. 

He watches the tape.

…

It…

……

It was Brian.

The yellow hoodie. It was Brian.

Another person Alex took from him. Tim's best friend, his first one. Alex took him. 

(And now Brian's dead because of you.)

No, no — it was Alex.

Seth, Sarah, Amy, Jessica, Jay, Brian. Alex killed them all. Alex killed them. Tim needed to stop him. He led Alex to his house, and Alex burned it down. 

Tim had nothing now. 

He had nothing to lose.

He found Alex again in Benedict Hall, hiding behind the screen of that demonic creature. Tim found him. That thing kept teleporting them around, but Tim held on and fought. He had nothing else left. 

Tim kills Alex. He goes home.

God, Brian was dead. Tim hated the hooded figure, and he wanted it dead, but… he was Brian. 

Tim felt hallowed out. He went to sleep, nightmares plaguing his mind. 

Brian was dead.

Tim didn't have anyone or anything left.

Brian was dead.

#adude.writes #marble hornets #brian thomas #tim wright #hoodie #jay merrick #RAAAAAAAAAAH OMG THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #i found ur alex-centric fic and WAA i became a fan ever since.... ur so cool this ask jumpscared me soso bad #ty for the ask aaa !!!! #this was meant to be around 500 words #it is 1.2k LMAO

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[reel-fear]

Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.

For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.

I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.

When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!

And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.

"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.

"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.

"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.

Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?

At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.

I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?

I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.

I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.

Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.

Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.

#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags #ramblez #also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor #the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore #the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics #at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger #Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car #bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return- #also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from #bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from #bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo #a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same #the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x #its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb #it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate #okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-

[photondoesstuff]

I don't even play Splatoon 3 anymore and yet I'm still disappointed to hear that Shiver won the Splatfest yet again.

#I stopped playing months ago because it just didn't feel fun anymore #Matchmaking feels unbalanced to the point where it feels like nothing I do matters and I just lose all the time #Maps all have the same general shape that let E Liters roll over everyone #The catalogue and King Salmonid scales make the game so grindy it becomes a chore more than anything #The only parts of Splat3 I don't hate are the music and the singleplayer mode #I'm not even mad at the Splatfest results. I just feel empty even though I saw the outcome coming from a mile away #Splatoon 3 is a joyless game #Photon rambles

[anaalnathrakhs]

uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING #but like #if i just stop talking to my friends #then what's the point #do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends? #it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like #and i DO like them #i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow. #i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want #it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving #they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them #but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay. #but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up. #i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay. #and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore #it's too painful #i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly #i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car #but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers. #and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people #why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone #why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out #why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together #i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy #because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail. #i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom #so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is #smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me #and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever #and i hurt them anyway

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc daily life images

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. COLUMBINEEEE... (I think..???) one of my favorite flowers... I managed to grow a small one in a pot last year. huzzah #2. spicy soup for lunch (another very rare lunch since I usually eat literally the same exact thing every day for my stomach #issues and stuff lol).. also made a fruit smoothie but put tapioca boba in it out of curiosity.. which was weird #3. woven cucumber shavings.. one of the many little meticulous tasks that I find oddly fun and could probably do for hours #4. A RED FOUR LEAF CLOVER!!!! There are some patches of clover in the yard that have weird red coloring and red spots on them #almost like it's some sort of damage or something but it seems natural (and I wonder if it has to do with plants that grow around them at #all since these 'green clovers but where some of them are variously spotted in red' patches happen to be next to patches of weeds/ #grouncover that also have red stems and stuff.) but so in the yard it is rare to find a red clover #and also rare to find a four leaf clover. so a RED four leaf clover is the most rare... special child.. #5. bapy son on the heating pad (featuring my stinky little toast shaped 2ds lol... i wonder if theyve been obsolete so long that maybe #3ds are actually affordable now (under $100).. hrmm...) #6. Another wii fit mingame score. I'm not sure if this is even lower than the other ones or anything. I never go back to compare them lol #if a score seems good enough to possibly be my best I just take apicture of it anyway. I should probably at some point check what #the 'best' even actually is. I wish the wii always told you ur Best score instead of just your Last score on those games. It does on every #other game but seemingly not the daily fitness check in minigame ones. hrmm.. #7. little clovery things covered in beautiful water droplets #8. sky again. of course #photo diary

[holytrickster]

honestly i get embarrassed i don't have like. a single other interest I'm as into because i just know everyone around me is probably sick of it

#idk i probably shouldn't have to feel bad about my interests but i annoy myself like oh my god please read something else talk about.. #..something else. its not like i dont like other media; i think pathologic is really freaking cool even if i havent had the time or patience #to play either game yet; i love derry girls it's a really good show; i have this attachment to firefly despite its issues #it's not like i can't get into other things #but nothing has had the chokehold on me that the legendarium has had/still has years later and it's almost frustrating sometimes #like i used to be really into gravity falls for instance. also cuphead; also bartimaeus and lockwood and co. oh and seraphina #but while i still really like all those things and theyre nostalgic for me; i can't...so easily fall back into those worlds in the same way #maybe it is also kin related but it's almosg like i get embarrassed to be so fixated even though it's been such an enjoyable part of my life #as cheesy as that no doubt sounds. i wouldnt be the same person if somebody (i dont even remember who anymore) hadn't been like “hey.. #“..middle schooler aimenel you should read the hobbit” (actually i think i mightve read lotr first i dont remember anymore) #idk why it bugs me; why im like “oh no people will be annoyed by the constant posts” as if anyone couldnt just unfollow or block #im probably always going to be like this to some extent and i dont know why i cant stop feeling embarrassed by my attachment to certain.. #media. its not even an “oHhH nOoOo its problematic in some ways” thing because i really dont give a shit for the most part #i think its literally i feel like people are going to at a certain point go “arent you too old to like this” #which isnt even going to happen probably so i dont know why i care. i dont know why i care when im honestly cringy as shit all the time #its funny ive becomr someone a much younger me would call cringe and just trying to be special or whatever

[mayasdeluca]

Do you have like a clip or something when Ash yelled at AK? I missed the game yesterday 🥺

I recorded this from the match replay that's up on Paramount right now. Idk what their plan was for the goal kick and what they talked about before doing it but idk why this happened as a result...pretty weird all around. Don't think it's necessary for Ash to take her anger out on Ali but I guess she was just frustrated all night.

#asks #anon #i mean it seems like ash can't even take goal kicks anymore all game #but idk what the point of ali passing that to her was if ash could've done the same

[the-furies]

fucked up that I have all this information btw. I don't know what the fuck exactly caused me to form in Harry's system though I can make a damn good educated guess but I know for SURE [!!!] what this body's favourite and by extension most life changing albums, songs, and bands were when it was 14 through like 17.

#pk;m electrochemistry🔴 #I know exactly what caused our Worst Split Ever and I know too much goddamn info about 21p #But do I recall Anything about Disco‚ the genre? No. #I may not know like. Important Details About My Host's Life Anymore #[though I guess‚ neither does he‚ & is that Not a huge plot point of our source] #but I can like. For fucking certain tell you a fuckton of random shit about *this* body. Information of which is useless to me #'oh your source is a game 🙄 it's not real' shut it it's real to Us. that shit Actually Happened to us. Lol. Lmao even. #like i Know but at the same tiem Shut up you're fuck. HWHWHWWJDKDJF #anyways from a fictive perspective it's all interesting what we remember frkm The Past & what we know now. #. oh shit i shiudl check on steb & ulixes they were trying to fuck w some headspace shit to get back to martinaise. huh #wonder if that worked fr them i haven't seen em in q few days. ahwuejdjf

[loveletterworm]

problem i have is that  i really struggle with the tendency to just sort of make characters with the same like three personalities over and over  and also reusing random concepts or design elements in what are supposed to be entirely unrelated things (the latter is kind of normal i guess actually but it compounds the first problem a bit)  so whenever i realize i have two different ideas with unusually similar characters i always have to go like.  Well damn it which one of you gets to live cuz i can’t ever show my face in the world if people know i keep making the exact same thing over and over

#The true answer is neither of them. Because i never finish anything #mypost #like i just remembered the other idea i had shortly before i had The Idea That Has Cursed My Brain Since Last March #and they didnt initially start out this similar but ive now realized that #they both involve a duo of characters which are a lop-eared rabbit and some sort of mustelid #and also as a separate point of comparison but still between the same two things there is a character who is a guy with red eyes and glasses #who is slightly silly as a contrast to a character with green(ish) eyes that is sort of un-silly? #technically the premises of the concepts are entirely different #the one that has cursed me is a slightly complicated science fiction thingy and the one i made before that was supposed to be like #They are trying to cure some sort of mushroom infection plague thingy and its vaguely past times #...i forgot the specifics and i found a file i apparently intended as notes for it but its totally empty. Great help. #But anyways even if the premises are vastly different the character similarities haunt me way more #partially because i cannot remmeber the goddamn details of the mushroom one. Why #Why did i make a notes file if i didnt even have them why give my future self that false hope. #...also yes the mushroom one was sort of Pathologic With Fursonas but i didnt get very far in that game so i imagine it would have been #more different if i had actually gotten anywhere with that idea. #by not very far i mean i gave up on the first day because of a timing issue and never got back around to it... #and now im not friends with the person who really liked pathologic anymore.......so i dont have much drive to.......... #this is getting unrelated to the post.

[astrxealis]

it has been a while since i have advertised any of my favorite games and so hello ... !! i implore you to play final fantasy xiv (fourteen) it is my favorite game and it is so good for so many reasons i love it so much (unlimited free trial btw)

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i could go on forever about this game and idk if that's even an exaggeration at this point bcs i've talked for hours about it #tbh i think any kind of gamer could play it (though ofc there's people who won't like it and that's fine bcs we're all different!) #but yeah it IS an mmorpg but there are really a lot of people who have this as their first mmorpg or the ONLY mmo they like #the story is incredibly good and ofc that too is. up to You but in general i do believe and a lot of others do as well that yeah #idk man :') this game has brought me an extreme amount of joy and is honestly . man. i owe so much to it #and i'm really not afraid to say that! either out of embarrassment or shame or whatever bcs i am affirmed by the many others who feel the #same that i'm not alone in feeling this way >_< idk. i think those around me and esp my loved ones and friends #deserve the experience the same joy ffxiv has given me ... even if not to the same extent ofc WHEEZE ffxiv just personally means #so much to me it consumes my mind and i love it so very much ehbgsbjhg BUT YEAH. yeah #i've felt a bit guilty or embarrassed to like ... express how much things mean to me bcs hmmhmmhm maybe i'm Too Much #but i think xiv has really helped me affirm myself and the fact that yeah! i'm just really passionate and enthusiastic about what i love #and uh. ehbghabgbhb i still don't share my thoughts except for to myself and to my twin and online just a bit but #man idk what i'm talking anymore about but i'm really grateful to ffxiv and i'm glad a lot of others are too ... >< #which is interesting bcs a lot of the playerbase is older than me :O hells yoshi-p is around the age of my dad and a streamer i watch is too #GBSHJBG ... and i have played with people much older than me as well! but it's. strangely nice? #i don't necessarily have to be wary about my safety bcs in general you wouldn't find that with the playerbase unless you do #specific things/go to specific places :O a lot are just people looking to have fun and/or relax after a long day. which is nice #hmm i'm just rambling a lot now again but yeah ... i think its really beautiful how we each have something that we love a lot #and for me one of those stuff is def ffxiv. and i . think it's understandable/valid for me to wish for those i care for to experience what #i have too :O hmm w all this ngl i see that i still need to better accept my feelings and all GHSBHG i'll try my best >< #okay rambles over GAH I SHOULD EAT DINNER. maybe finish 1 hw as well b4 the day ends ehe #tbh most of my rambles ^^ are for ffxiv w the RPG part bcs tbh it is true when people say it is like an rpg + mmo aspects lol #but i really appreciate the mmo aspect >< it's strangely helped me w my social anxiety rather than worsen it! #it's helped me make new friends and great experiences and considering w/o the mmo aspect i'd probably be still #drowning in my misery from back then :O if it were not for ffxiv i sincerely doubt i would have talked again to my irl best friends so <3 #okay i will stop rambling now. tbh i don't think ... hm ... nvm. but anyway! no pressure ofc but yes i suggest u play ffxiv teehee #but if you really can't due to Reasons that is ofc fine as well! i don't want to seem like i'm forcin people wah ... #it is just a thing for ffxiv players to like advertising for ffxiv and i so happen to really like doing that lol ehbsjgh >< #uh i forgot what else i wanted to say but my throat is gabgjebgjhs so bye bye

[cinnabeat]

see i can believe sora had a crush on kairi in the first two games but once it hits kh2 i no longer believe it and any attempts to show how much they care for each other after just falls flat

#like listen i know. i KNOW sora knew where kairi was and that she was safe and sound and that he has soent an entire game (ignoring com) loo #looking for riku not entirely sure where he is or if hes fine #i UNDERSTAND that it explains why sora was like oh kairi :) and was like RIKU 😭 in the rnd like i GET IT #but then!!! in ddd fucking riku being soras dreameater diving to save him the both of them literally making a fucking song together out of t #their hearts #rikus sacrifice in kh3 #like yeah kairi may have brought sora back but by that point its like. kairi is SUCH a side character at this point like shes just #there for sora not as her own character #like i love kairi so much but after kh2 i just. cant believe shes the most important person in soras heart anymore #like if they had the same connection and fucking multi game spanning story id brlieve it #but the fact of the matter is that the only one who i see having such a deep connection to sora at this point is riku #like please its right there #i have so many thoughts about this #like its the difference between showing and telling #im told kairi is soras most important person and like yeah i can believe it in the first two games #bc in those games im SHOWN how important kairi is to sora #but after that theres no more showing that im just being told bc apparently just those games (one that sora doesnt even remember) is enough #and maybe it would be! but then im shown how important riku is to sora too and i keep being shown that well after #and its like now that i know this when i look back at the first two games can very well ve explained away #nomura stop being a coward and say it straight >:( #michi tag

[dmclemblems]

man, imagine just... letting people have their own opinions of gw and not making fun of people who did or didn’t enjoy it.

people in this fandom are so aggressive.

you can talk about your opinions and even hate or love as strongly as the human heart allows! just... don’t say things like “people are stupid for thinking xyz”. you do realize you may have mutuals or even friends following you that see that and are now apprehensive to talk to you, especially about this game, right? that you might be offending your own friends and acquaintances with insulting terminology and you don’t know a friend feels that way because they’re too anxious to even tell you now because you’ve made it clear that you think everyone with xyz opinion is some insulting and hurting term?

it’s one thing to say things like “this is the best/worst route between both games and I love/hate it more than anything”. it’s another to say something like “everyone who loves/hates gw is an absolute retard who didn’t understand claude’s character in houses in the first place if they loved/hated gw”.

no, I’m not quoting anyone specifically, but I’m trying to iterate to you an example of the sorts of things I’m seeing people saying as if under the assumption that every single person in their space agrees with them and that they’re not risking hurting someone with their words.

yeah, you can hate the route or love the route with every fiber of your being. I’m just personally not sure that’s worth being hateful toward every single other human being who has the opposite opinion as you, or worth making people apprehensive about checking their social media every day because they follow people who are very likely to insult entire groups of people based on their likes/dislike in a fictional universe.

like, yeah, I didn’t enjoy the second half of gw... but you know what’s cool? I’m still close friends with someone who liked it and feels the opposite way that I do about the writing and about claude.

#it sucks too bc I have mutuals on Twitter who will NOT stop talking about it #and going out of their way to point out every instance of their opinion while like #degrading the people who don't agree #at that point like mind your own business and talk about things that are fun??? stop getting mad at people for their opinions??? #it's really easy to go find something you enjoy on the damn internet it's like the easiest way ever lol #even when I just check regular tags for characters nowadays it's the same arguments #half or more of the content isn't the characters or fanart or anything like that anymore #it's just people arguing about stupid shit like okay we get it you do or don't like the writing in it #it doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to make other people feel bad about their opinion #it's one thing to discuss with people in your space (depending on which social media you use etc) #but to go out of your way or to outright insult people with the opposite opinion just makes you look like you're trying to start fights #when this game came out I wanted to remember it by being Billy's final work for his job and he did so so so good #and now it's hard to look at this game and think of it that way because I keep thinking of all the drama #it's still hard to listen to Ferdinand's lines and some more than others bc I was in Billy's streams a lot #so when I hear those things I tend to picture his face and it's still difficult for me. I still can't wrap my head around him being gone #and for two months at that now. I want to look at this game and think of the work he did and you know? if you don't that's fine #but it's hard for me to see it that way now when I just can't log on to ANYTHING on ANY day and see ANYTHING but arguing or like #people straight up insulting others and using offensive terms about people who didn't like something #like cool you loved/hated gw. wanna explain why you're tagging your hate for other people to see? would love to hear THAT explanation #it's kinda like how on Twitter I've had to block an obscene amount of people in the dmcl tags #bc they post the ship name i.e. a keyword in searches that will come up when fans look for content #and it's a bunch of offensive shit about the entire fanbase and how we're all disgusting people with shit opinions #and who don't enjoy the ship for actual context but apparently bc we just want to see two guys bang #imagine lumping an entire fandom of anything (ship character series etc) into an insulting and offensive box just bc YOU don't like it #or you had ONE bad experience with a fan of it so now you post hate in their search keywords instead of censoring it #so that it doesn't come up in someone's searches #literally how are you going to be prejudice about an entire group of shippers or character fans full of ppl you don't even KNOW? #and instead of talking to some of them to understand their reasoning you just post offensive shit in their searches/tags #this is the kind of shit I'm seeing with Hopes too which is why I'm mentioning it here