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ariesmoontarot · 2 months

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Important Message From Spirit🦋

The Piles:

Book A Personal Reading Here

The collective is in this very emotional energy. It’s like feeling so imaginative, passionate, in love (even if you don’t have a lover), & so sad and lonely at the same time. We’ve been feeling everything so deeply and our intuition is extremely heightened during this time. We’re very sensitive to energies and other peoples feelings, even our own feelings. This reading is timeless so whenever you come across this, it’ll be meant for you.

♡Pile One♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you might’ve found love in the city, out of town (or they were out of town), you could be from a city or the other way around, but overall there’s this energy of looking for spiritual love. You want a deep connection that connects you to deeper parts of yourself. For some of you it could be that maybe you are finding love within yourself and learning to live in your truth. I see you expressing yourself authentically and being open and honest about how you feel and what you’re thinking. I also see some of you having a conversation with someone who will be expressing how they truly feel for you.

Channeled Song: We Found Love -Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris ( when she says “we found love in a hopeless place”) Hey There Lonely Girl -Eddie Holman (when he says “hey there lonely girl, lonely girl, don’t you know this lonely boy loves you”.) , Confidence -Ocean Alley (when he says “It’s all about confidence, babyyy”.)

I’m seeing you in this soft, nurturing energy. You’re loving yourself more, taking care of those around you, for some of you taking care of your kid(s), family, & the things you cherish most. You’re feeling really appreciative or you will be. I also see that someone has really nice eyes. Could be blue, light brown, or greenish hazel. Spirit is saying that you’ve been really patient, dedicated, & efficient. You’re putting in efficient effort into your priorities, goals, & connections. For some of you I’m hearing you’re focusing on nature or connecting with animals, taking care of animals/pets. Take that how it resonates. You’re reaping some type of reward for your hard work and discipline and it’s related to a relationship or important connection in your life. I’m hearing you’ve healed something that was hurting you and you’ve learned to love yourself and the things around you more deeply. You’ve connected to your roots and strengthened your faith and in doing this, you’ve removed illusions and feelings of confusion because you’re more grounded within your energy. You were feeling stuck in a temporary situation and it could’ve been in a connection for some of you. It was causing anxiety, stress, fear, & imbalance in your life. It definitely took up a lot of your thoughts and I’m seeing a change happening where you’re taking back your power and gaining control over your mind. Now isn’t the time for you to do anything impulsive or risky. Like diving into some kind of situation that you know isn’t good for you, that will resonate for some of you. It’s like someone left you out in the cold, kicked you while you were down, wasn’t there for you when you needed them most and everytime you’re thriving, looking good, healthy etc. they want to come back in and try to trick you into focusing on them or what you could’ve had with them. Don’t let this person in your energy for those that resonate with this. For my feminines I feel like you’re finally tapping back into your loving, compassionate, and nurturing energy. You’ve manifested communication with someone that you share a deep connection with and I’m sensing you really trust this person or you will. It can be a friend, lover, family, whatever. There’s distance between you and I feel like you’ve both been alone for some time. You’ve spent time in solitude, self reflecting, and so has this person. Trust your intuition and how you feel. I feel like this is a connection that is meant to heal you and it will bring you so much joy and happiness. it is the type of connection that will heal your inner child and bring back out your creativity. I feel like whenever you met or got closer to each other you both were in a period of your life where there was a lack of faith and hope. It’s like where hard times meet and end for the both of you. Not necessarily end, but they get so much easier to deal with when you’re with this person or have each other in your lives. Both of you could’ve grew up in families, or in an urban city/ place that was of low income. This connection is divinely guided. For those of you where this is a romantic situation, I see them hiding how they truly feel about you behind this cold demeanor because they’re still learning how they feel so they can better understand it. However, they are very honest and blunt with you. I feel like they could be a little distant at times or when you communicate with them it’s very quick and doesn’t necessarily last for that long. The conversations are short between you. They’re very patient and kind towards you. I feel like they really value this connection with you. Romantically speaking, they want to take their time with you and I see them wanting a very long-term commitment with you. For others there is some type of investment that you and this person are working towards together and it will be successful spirit is saying. Things might feel stagnant like they are moving slow or not exactly going at the pace that you want but I feel like this is the pace that you need.

This person feels a little bit stuck right now because they are gaining clarity about how they feel and trying to figure out a way to offer you something. it’s like they’re trying to figure out a way to communicate with you that they want a relationship with you, and they want to be able to invest in a future with you but they need a little bit of time to come forward, but they will. For others I feel like there are some type of ideas or plans that are being made and this person involved needs time to be able to think about what they wanna do and how they wanna go about these plans. Romantically they don’t wanna lose you. They are already sad as it is because I feel like they know that you’re holding back a deeper part of yourself, and they want to see and experience that deeper part of you. They want you to express your love for them and they want you to be nurturing and I’m seeing that they think that you are their person and they are hiding how they feel because of fear. They’re also letting go of bad habits and their pride. What’s next for you guys in romantic situations, I see this person coming in fast and they’re ready to tell you how they feel because I feel like they can’t see life without you in it you make them so happy and having you in their life feels like a blessing. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow but it’s coming really really soon. For those of you in other situations that aren’t romantic I see this person getting really inspired by something and that specific idea or feeling that they have, they’re going to tell you about it and it’s going to be something that is really smart and it will make the both of you very happy. For those of you who have kids and it’s not with this person, I see you getting in a relationship with them and they’re being very loving and supportive with you and your child or children. They want to take care of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Two♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’ve been very emotional and tapping into a deep part of yourself. You could be spending time alone, meditating, & learning more about who you are and what you believe in. Spirit is helping you learn to be more honest with yourself and others about how you feel and developing healthy ways of expressing it. Life could be flowing easily and I’m getting this energy of peace and serenity.

Channeled Song: No Air - Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown (the part where she says “if I should die before I wake, it’s cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air.”)

There’s a connection in your life that you’ve been really patient about and I feel like things haven’t progressed the way you wanted. I’m hearing you put so much energy into it, but this person involved hasn’t shown up and offered you anything. You’ve put your focus and intention on loving yourself and those you cherish. You’re also focused on your responsibilities. 1111 can be significant. Communication, understanding, and honesty has been so hard with this person because when you try to talk to them it’s like they come off so cold and turn everything into a disagreement. They give you the cold shoulder and try to undermine you. I’m seeing that they always make it seem like things are harder for them and don’t consider your feelings, what you’re thinking, or even what you’re saying. It’s like talking to them is a losing game. However you’ve been independent, determined, confident, loving, & nurturing. You haven’t let this situation affect you. Or at least you aren’t anymore. You’re standing your ground. I’m seeing you manifesting clarity & you’re learning a very important lesson here. This person hurt you and has no intention of showing up the way you need them to. This could be a past person for a lot of you. They were blocking your blessings because you’ve held on and waited for them meanwhile they didn’t acknowledge it. You felt stuck and didn’t want to free yourself because you loved them. However it caused a lot of anxiety, confusion, indecision, & fear for you. It imbalanced your spiritual and emotional side. For a lot of you it’s that there’s a past person you’re holding onto that must be let go of in order for your blessing to be revealed. There are illusions and deceit in your life. Maybe it’s you just deceiving yourself because you know this person isn’t good for you. You’re self sabotaging yourself by allowing someone who’s only holding you back stick around. You don’t need this person, you want them. They don’t benefit you. You were drowning in emotion trying to save this person and just simply love them, but I’m hearing it’s time to let go. If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it’s for you, but if it doesn’t then you’ll know. Sometimes people will come back just for unhealthy reasons tho but when I say come back I mean come back and show up. Im hearing you take no chances of missing out. You’ll love someone for as long as you possibly can. You’ve been tossed to the side, left behind, lied to, and pushed away, but you still love endlessly. It’s time for that chapter of your life to end. You’re stepping into a new phase of your life and all that being breadcrumbed, confused, misled, lied to, and manipulated is in the past. You’re setting boundaries and you no longer tolerate it. I’m seeing you have the upper hand in a situation and you’re abundant. With energy, resources, whatever it is you may be abundant in you are able to share this with people who need it. I’m hearing you’re generous with your time and energy and you don’t mind spending quality time with those who need a light in their life. There is multiple energies around you. Multiple people who want your attention. I’m seeing you have your eyes set on what you want and you know exactly what that is. You want a deep connection with someone you can trust and commit to. I’m hearing you’ve checked out. You’ve put your emotions aside and now you’re giving off more of this intellectual energy. More aware, understanding, honest, smart, strategic, & blunt. You have very good discernment. Especially when it comes to other people’s energies and what is good for you and what isn’t. Trust what you know. Right now I’m having a hard time getting your messages out and I feel like spirit is saying the focus is you. You are the main highlight right now and you’re stepping into this divine feminine energy. If you don’t have feminine energy you’re stepping into a more intuitive, empathetic, nurturing energy. You are a healer whether you know it or not but you attract people who need you and your energy.

Just be careful not to let others drain you. Whatever blessings are coming for you spirit isn’t revealing too much. You’re diving deep into self reflection and spiritual awareness and I’m seeing you aren’t focused on love or relationships. Those come when you aren’t expecting it. Right now spirit is teaching you important lessons.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Three♡:

Based off the picture you chose I’m getting this energy of you feeling a bit melancholic and nostalgic in a bittersweet way. You’re spending time alone and focusing on tapping in with yourself because you’ve been feeling detached and disconnected from your feelings, maybe even your surroundings.

Channeled Song: Lose Control -Teddy Swims (specifically heard the part when he says “problematic, problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit. Bad habits hard to break when I’m with you. Yeah I know I can do it on my own, but I want that real full moon black magic, and it takes two.”)

I’m seeing that there are outside factors disrupting your life. It’s like situations that happen may feel like nothing ever goes your way. You’re holding back so much love and emotion and in this energy of hiding your love, hiding how you feel, being closed off emotionally, & feeling like you’re having a hard time letting go of emotions from your past. Maybe you’re having a hard time letting go of the way someone has made you feel. It’s like the feeling of rejection is weighing on you and maybe because of that hurt you’re isolating yourself and feeling lonely. You’re keeping yourself from being able to open up emotionally in connections. You know how you feel and why it is you feel the way you do but you’re still holding onto that hurt due to fear and anxiety. There is someone that God has for you and I’m seeing they will help you see through the illusions of your own emotions. Maybe even your pride is in the way. However this person is very emotionally intelligent and understanding they can just come off as very private at times. They know when to speak and they’re both logical and Intuitive when it comes to expressing themselves. They can be very passionate and flirty at times and sometimes be very rash about what they say or do. There’s a feeling either you’re feeling like you aren’t being appreciated enough or they are but I feel like spirit is telling you to step it up. Don’t hold back. Be open and free spirited. Allow yourself to feel and enjoy the feeling of love. Maybe you overthink too much at times and don’t allow yourself to feel. Some of you take your person for granted by not being emotionally there and making sure their needs are being met too. You’re very guarded about letting them in because of your boundaries. Spirit wants you to do what brings you joy. Don’t keep the sun out of your life because you’ve been hurt. I’m also hearing that no matter how other people act or what they say, never stop being you. You can come off with this very rigid and vain energy at times and I’m hearing it’s your ego. Listen to your intuitive side and give the love you want to give. Don’t listen to your fear. You are holding yourself back from receiving the love spirit wants you to receive. You’re hurting yourself because you won’t open up about how you feel to someone. I feel like you avoid conflicts and have a fear that you opening up about how you feel will start an argument. Know that hiding how you feel and refusing to communicate will only make things worse for you. It’s okay to feel passionate and excited. It’s okay to want someone and it’s okay to express how you feel to that person. I also feel like you don’t open up when you’re sad and you try to hide everything. Not everyone can read your mind. If you feel really overwhelmed take some time for yourself and then open up when you feel ready. Try to balance yourself out so your love life can be balanced as well. The more you’re in harmony with yourself and in tune with your emotions the more your love life improves. You miss opportunities when you refuse to make a choice and stay in a period of inaction. If you know what you want then act on it instead of letting the world make decisions for you. You will feel so much better when you allow yourself to do what you feel guided to do. Treat your partner with lovingly and morally. I feel like you want marriage and there is someone you deeply love in your life. This connection has the potential to lead to marriage. All you have to do is be honest. Even if this relationship doesn’t work out with the person you have in your life right now, you being honest and open will help you evolve and learn new lessons you need in order to move forward. I am seeing a positive result coming from your honesty though. Be sure that you know what you want before you act on it and plan your approach before taking action. All you need is confidence, courage, and drive. I feel like you’re picky about your lovers and so is this person. You both need independence and your own alone time.

Spirit is saying to be patient when it comes to this person. You both feel the same about each other honestly. I feel like if you say I love you to each other it’s genuine. If you haven’t said it yet you both love each other unconditionally. You’re ready to move forward and come towards your person. You might be scared because financially maybe you don’t feel stable and that creates insecurity within you but know that it’s okay. You don’t have to feel insecure about it with this person. Or with anyone for that matter. You may not be where you want to be financially but you don’t have to let that stop you. They think you are very intelligent and it’s a turn on for them. They are so attracted to the way you think and I feel like they admire the way you see life. They feel like you are their person and the relationship with you is very strong. It’s best to treat each other with gentleness and empathy because this relationship is very passionate so sometimes if not treated the right way anger or frustration can be an issue. You both want the traditional structured relationship and I’m seeing very high potential for this to happen. Be positive and do what you feel guided to do!! Pile one might resonate with some of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Four♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’re gaining clarity on a situation you didn’t see clearly before. Spirit is showing you the truth about something you’ve been feeling and it might be a truth that hurts, but it also lifts a weight that was holding you back or stagnant. It doesn’t have to be a truth that hurts though, that’s only for some!

Channeled Song: Counting Stars -OneRepublic (it’s crazy to me because in this song he says “in my face is flashing signs, seek it out and ye shall find.” And obviously lightning flashes)

You’re feeling a bit sad and disappointed because of a situation that happened in the recent past. I feel like you’re focused on the hurt rather than the positive side of things. Spirit is saying there are opportunities that are for you right now but you aren’t seeing them because you’re focused on negative feelings. However there is a wish fulfillment or something happening for you that will inspire you and give you hope. It’s like a divine revelation. You must get out of your own way. There are negative thoughts and fears circling your mind and this leads to self sabotage and constant hopelessness. There is abundance, love, happiness, and so much more waiting for you but you must let go of your worries. It’s easier said than done but when you tell yourself there is better you will eventually start to believe it. I see a romantic connection in store for a lot of you. For others I feel like a truth about a connection in your life has been revealed and it’s made you sad but it was for your own good. Things haven’t progressed the way you want them to but it’s because you aren’t focused on watering whatever it is you want to grow. I feel like some of you got clarity about how you feel towards someone and because you’re focused on how disappointed you are from other situations you’re not focused on this person. However they are abundant, nurturing, empathetic, intuitive, supportive, and understanding. They have love for you and I feel like they will understand how you feel if you open up to them. For others you’re not watering yourself enough. You aren’t loving yourself or realizing how much of an inspiring, kind, intelligent, divine being you are. Spirit wants you to devote more time and energy to yourself. I feel like communication with someone is happening very soon and there will be clarity and understanding in this conversation. Things will be balancing themselves out pretty quickly but there is a need for honesty. Take that however it resonates. I feel like some of you feel pessimistic about love and moving forward in life but spirit wants you to open up and enjoy the beauty of it. There are better times ahead and I feel like you are going to be receiving some type of good karma for all the hard work you’ve done in the past. You’ve been through so much and God is blessing you with something that will bring you so much peace. Just try to open yourself up to it and let go of the unnecessary burdens you’ve been carrying. Whatever hardships you’ve been facing I see you overcoming them and coming out stronger, more confident, & resilient. I also see you letting go of bad habits and making commitments to a very important job, person, or investment in your life. There will be plenty of opportunities coming your way.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

#spirituality #healing #spiritualjourney #positive vibes #tarot #love #pick a card #pac #astrology #spiritual community

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sixofwandsss · 1 year

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PAC: How will you change the world?

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

You are some sort of activist that speaks out against beliefs that do not align their truth. You fight against belief systems that are not rooted in empathy nor compassion. Belief systems that are only rooted in judgment and hatred.

You are basically an attack to society’s inner child wounds. However, you do not speak up unless you are certain about the beliefs you are questioning. You are being represented by The Hermit card, which reveals your analytical and introspective nature. You possess the ability to get to the root of any problem, which contributes to your arguments, that end up being quite reasonable. You call into doubt the beliefs that the world built its foundation on a long time ago.

People either perceive you as a madman or as a genius. Some see you as an individual that is not fearful of others' negative gaze and is quite innovative. Faithful to their position. Some may see you as too liberal, progressive or revolutionary. You undoubtedly will stir things up.

Your voice is a catalyst for change as it is forging a new path where new beliefs are able to be discussed openly. You are a trailblazer for many new-age ideas that will change the way we see our own world.

Your voice heals, people can often identify with your message and are able to heal societal wounds that they did not even realize that they had. You inspire people to say their truth, to do the same as you did.

The universe's advice is to surround yourself with a community you feel at ease at. People who allow you to speak about your doubts without any sort of judgment. Don’t ignore your intuition if it tells you not to trust a certain belief, you are most definitely right about it. You have a gift of spotting questionable ones.

Being in the public eye might make you more susceptible to others' negative emotions. Do not suppress them if you feel uneasy at times. But take into account that fighting for what’s right is not always the most emotionally pleasing experience. Learn emotional intelligence to manage your emotions. Put all your anger into your desired cause.

There is a certain energy about you. You believe that the only way you will be at peace is when you finally leave this incarnation. You believe that you will only be happy if you become your highest spiritual self.

Nevertheless, you can still get a lot of wisdom in this realm. The physical realm. Your soul chose to experience this. Use it to connect to nature, mother earth.

You can be in tune with your spiritual side even when you try to access your more tangible goals. It’s all about balance really.

Don’t run away from your physicality. There’s a lot you can get from having a physical body: you can explore your senses and experience intimacy. Feel pure raw feelings, for example.

Spiritual knowledge can come from your feelings, which you can feel thanks to your body. It not only comes from the voice in your mind. It also comes from your sensations. You intellectualize spirituality too much.

Once you work this things out, you will affect people around you like a sort of awakening/wake up call.

People who need to be more in touch with their spiritual side will be inspired to take a more mindful and intuitive approach, whereas people who need to be more in touch with their physicality will be inspired to take the same actions you took. You will remind people of their own imbalance.

Duality is always present. Light and Dark, Peace and Chaos, Feminine and Masculine. Physical and Spiritual. You cannot go to the extremes and still expect to be living at your highest potential. You’ll learn this and inspire people to do the same.

The universe’s advice is not to act without any purpose, Reflect. Reflect on you actions and choices. Why are you acting on them? What has it led you to?

Don’t be afraid of dealing with your past. Most importantly, be honest with yourself

You can always end toxic cycles and create your own happiness. The universe has your back. You are loved. Trust your gut when it comes to what makes you feel good. Do what soothes you. What makes you truly happy.

New beginnings are coming for you. You will inspire people’s new beginning.

You, my dear, are represented by the Queen of Pentacles. This means that you were born to create your own style of success. Meant to create your safety net, your own beautiful little place in the world. It is in your veins.

You are meant to build a foundation around what makes you feel actually good. That is your kind of success. It is about pursuing things that fill your cup, not society's

You will change the world by being a person who brings emotional comfort to those around them. You wil be the catalyst for an emotional new beginning to the collective. Emotional clarity (you can call it that way).

You will bring a sense of awakening of some sort. Bringing positive feelings within society as the Page of Cups would. A jovial energy who lights every room he walks into, a kind-hearted youngster.

You, the Page of cups, are often optimistic and faithful to your ideas. You do not care about society's expectations regarding who you should be or how you should behave. You do not dim your lights for others. You live life by your own terms

Having an almost innocent approach to life is the reason why people are inspired by your actions and try to imitate you. You challenge society's pessimism /nihilism. You definitely fall under a 'Sun person' Archetype.

You will make people go towards what they feel would make them the happiest. Going after their own definition of success without being pessimistic about it. Those around you will put their guards down to seek help when needed, to find community and collaboration when needed. Not mindlessly putting their energy into something just because society tell them to do so

Seek joy and most importantly, authenticity (in order to stay true to your desires and needs)

with love, del <3

#pick a pile #free tarot #astro notes #astro observations #pick a card #tarotoftheday #pick a picture #pick a card reading #aquarius #piscis #scorpio #sagittarius #astro game #zodiac

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 10 months

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I just read through the Wish Upon A Star event for the first time and it's a nice heartfelt story! But hoo BOY do some things about this event feel unexpectedly heavier now with the context of Book 6 and what's currently out for Book 7, particularly with the Diasomnia boys ...

Wish Upon a Star was really nice for the Shroud brothers' story in hindsight! I wouldn't say the event has anything "essential" (you can still understand book 6 without seeing any of Wish Upon a Star), but it definitely adds extra context (like sprinkles on top of an ice-cream sundae!) and some vague foreshadowing to the upcoming main story happenings. (It helped a lot that both brothers were featured cards for this event; they could share the spotlight!) We learn some new information that is fundamentally rooted in what we already know of the Shroud brothers (ie Idia is into video games, Ortho is supportive of his brother) and how it all plays together in a grander narrative. Star Rogue was actually first introduced in this event as something important to Idia and Ortho's childhoods, which later becomes a recurring motif in book 6. The book even closes on Idia playing it with all of his new NRC friends (?). The legend of the Starsending itself, of course, refers to the story of Pinocchio, where a puppet turned into a real boy--a theme which eventually carries over to Ortho, the robot that gains humanity. Additionally, we get a more in-depth exploration of Ortho and Idia's relationship in Wish Upon a Star. We see that Ortho, despite being a robot who would easily be able to look up anything he doesn't understand, still has a child-like wonder about wishes coming true and even dedicates his own wish to hoping that his older brother's wish comes true. It's Idia who expresses a deep cynicism for the Starsending and acts like a buzzkill (pointing out that the stars most likely react to people's body temperature rather than light up in response to being whispered a wish). This reflects their behavior in book 6 too: Idia is the one who has given up hope, and Ortho is the one who seeks to help his brother's dreams come true.

I guess something similar applies for the Diasomnia boys? 🤔 Although to be fair, this event came out in summer of 2020 (when the game itself first launched in March 2020), so we didn't know a ton about the Diasomnia boys back then. A lot of what they said for their wishes would have easily been dismissed as just normal characterization, but it definitely comes off as more ominous knowing what we now know of book 7:

Sebek’s wish: “I wish for the whole world to kneel before our king.” WELL. You definitely got that wish granted, Sebek 😭 cuz all of Twisted Wonderland is about to kneel over in a deep sleep once Malleus’s UM spreads far enough… Sebek is pretty much always going on about how powerful Malleus is, but in book 7 it’s not so fun having to deal with that magic now turned against us and set on consuming the world.

Silver’s wish: “I wish… for my father to have a long life.” When we first heard of this, the assumption was that Lilia would outlive Silver?? Especially with how spry Lilia is portrayed to be… BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT 700 YEAR OLD LILIA’S MAGIC IS ON THE DECLINE AND HE WANTS TO GO DIE ALONE IN A FOREIGN LAND 😩 Silver also mentions during his wish segment that he owes a lot to his father and isn’t close to repaying him for everything he has done. This is a sentiment Silver shares again in book 7… in which he then proceeds to break down and cry in front of Malleus about those insecurities 😭

Lilia’s wish: “My wish is… for humans, fae, and all other species to live in harmony.” This one hits super different because right now we’re witnessing Lilia’s past self as a general actively fighting against humans and being suspicious of them. His present self is much more peace and harmony loving, even instilling in Silver a respect for all creatures and lecturing Malleus and Sebek for their sometimes ignorant behavior towards other races. He acknowledges the challenges that come with bringing together those from all walks of life, but he’s also the first to preach about how the importance of it. People may be weak alone, but they can come together like the threads on a spindle to become something stronger together. This is a testament to how much Lilia’s feelings and him as an individual have evolved over time. What’s even sadder is that when you read Lilia’s words, it definitely sounds like he’s reflecting on his unsavory past, and wishing for a better world for the future: “You've learned about […] all the countless tales of our failure to compromise, and the resulting conflicts? I have no desire to see such history repeated.” So he makes the same wish every year…

Malleus’s wish: “I wish for Roaring Drago (Gao-Gao Dragon-kun) to make a friend.” Gao-Gao makes his first appearance in Malleus’s Labwear vignettes, but becomes a more integral part of Malleus’s story in other materials, then culminates as a motif in book 7. The importance of this virtual pet cannot be understated in regards to its connection with Malleus’s understanding of human lives and change. Prior to book 7, we see Gao-Gao as something “like Malleus”—it’s alone, a dragon hatched from an egg. (One can say that wishing for Gao-Gao to have friends is a metaphor for how Malleus himself wants friends.) During book 7, the perception of Gao-Gao changes; now it is likened to Malleus’s loved ones. He fears them leaving, just like Gao-Gao does when he’s all grown up—and so Malleus justifies his extreme actions with the excuse of, “I want them to live a happy fantasy forever and ever, just as though Gao-Gao were with me for all of time”. It’s how Malleus rationalizes his actions and comes to understand others. What makes Gao-Gao and even more prominent symbol in book 7 is its ties with Lilia; as Malleus notes in his Starsending segment, Gao-Gao was a gift from Lilia’s travels… and Gao-Gao set to leave once it has fully matured, so, too, comes the painful reminder that Lilia set to leave soon. It puts more pressure on Malleus to act, to come up with some kind of solution for a “happily ever after”. It’s his way of keeping his friends with him… whether they want it or not.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Diasomnia #Malleus Draconia #Lilia Vanrouge #Sebek Zigvolt #Silver #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #notes from the writing raven #Idia Shroud #Ortho Shroud #Ignihyde #Pinocchio

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glittering-snowfall · 11 months

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The Elsanna ship, ten years later...

When I think about the golden days of the Elsanna ship (circa 2013-2015), two images come to mind – this one…

…and this one…

Both pieces of fanart were created to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage nationwide in the US in June 2015 – and both encapsulate the youthful energy, the innocence, the idealism of Elsanna shippers at the time. They might seem silly now to some people, but only because they are so earnest. There is an achingly earnest sincerity here because the Elsanna-shipping community was made up of a bunch of young, queer Disney fans.

The ship wasn’t created by a bunch of creeps who wanted to “disregard or misunderstand the message of the film.”

The ship was created by a group of young wlw, young lesbians, young queer folks, who were drawn to the film because of its themes of self-acceptance and self-understanding (because they UNDERSTOOD the message of the film.) And they were drawn to the sisters’ bond because, in some way, it resonated with them – a connection between two people that was based on coming to an understanding of shared trauma and pain, a connection rooted in compassion for someone othered by society.

Frozen came out in 2013. Korrasami wouldn’t be canon for a while yet, things like Lumity and Catradora weren’t even a dream, and these naive, earnest, heartfelt kids wanted to see something that reflected themselves so much that they built a ship from the ground up.

I have seen people in recent years express bewilderment about why the Elsanna ship came into being, saying things like, “Why does this ship exist? Elsa and Anna aren’t in love; they’re sisters.” Which… duh. Obviously, they are not in love. Obviously, they are sisters. Such an attempt to say, “Checkmate, creeps!” ignores why ships come into existence in the first place. Non-canon ships emerge because there are aspects of two particular characters that the audience can relate to or project a part of themselves upon/see themselves in; and because there are elements of these characters’ dynamic/interactions that the audience can project upon/see themselves in.

And with Elsa and Anna’s dynamic together and connection throughout the film? There was A LOT that a young queer audience latched onto - NOT because these shippers felt the film was secretly espousing incest subtext, but because the characters were created to be broadly relatable to anyone with a difficult home life, anyone who felt isolated and ostracized from society, and so their narrative together lent itself to a queer reading.

Consider: on the one hand, there is Elsa – a character who exploded across the popular consciousness because so many people related to her individual story, many of them queer young people. Isolated for who she was, taught to repress her identity and her emotions, forced to conform to a society that could harm her. There hardly needs to be any more ink spilled on why Elsa struck such a chord with queer viewers – and the queer viewers who helped to shape the Elsanna ship were among the people who fell in love with her as much as anyone.

On the other hand, there is Anna. Anna’s story is different from Elsa’s, but bears many of the same marks of trauma. Anna is forced to live in a world where the rules feels arbitrary and uncaring, where nothing makes sense but no one will tell her why. Not her sister, who has been taught that she must shut Anna out. Not her parents, the authorities of the society she lives in who put the rules in place. Like many queer young people, Anna is forced to navigate a world where the rules are arbitrary and cruel. And, like her sister, she begins to internalize that pain. “What did I ever do to you?” she cries to Elsa at the coronation because, without the full context, she can’t rule out that this might be her fault – or at least, that societal forces around her tell her that this is her fault even when she did nothing.

There was so much in each character individually that queer young people resonated with.

When you factor in that their connection is something that the powers that be within the film attempt to forbid, that their connection is something that is at first treated as something that needs to be suppressed but that ultimately proves to be a positive force for both of them, then… yeah, it becomes clearer why so many queer young people aching to connect with something would see themselves in that relationship.

I know of several prominent artists on this site who got their start in the Elsanna fandom, or who were happy to take part in the ship because they saw the way other queer young people connected with it (signatures blotted out to prevent potential harassment of artists over decade-old art):

People don’t like to remember it, but ten years ago, there were wlw fandom blogs on here that would casually make or reblog Elsanna art – not because they had some secret insidious agenda – but because the ship connected with them on an emotional level or because they understood why it did with others:

And there were shippers of other queer ships reaching out:

The Elsanna fandom of 2013-15 was a reflection of a group of queer young people (primarily wlw) – a reflection of their passion, their dedication, their craftsmanship, their creativity, and their longing to be seen. It was a group of queer young people using the pieces that a film they loved gave them to create something of their own, from their hearts, for themselves.

Create something of their own with their own spirit and hopes, reflecting their own aspirations and fears and dreams for the future.

And sure, people now can say, “That’s disgusting! How could anyone do that?” In 2020, someone called out a lovely person on here because she shipped Elsanna nearly a decade ago (even though she HAD LONG SINCE DELETED ALL EA CONTENT FROM HER BLOG, even!):

This callout is dishonest. It claims that the individual “thinks shipping them is cute” even though, when this was written, the person had not shipped Elsanna in years. It also claims Elsanna is p/*do/ph/ilic when it is not. (It is incest, obviously, and that is inherently problematic.) It also tries to make a connection between the person wanting queer rep and shipping an inherently problematic ship, when those things do not correlate at all. You can ship something and never want it to be canon. You can ship something and not want it to be “representation” – and that’s what being in the Elsanna fandom of 2013-15 was like.

People didn’t want it to be canon. They didn’t want it to be “representation.” Everyone already knows that incest is wrong. People don’t have to ship something as a crusade for representation. But people DID ship it because they saw something of themselves in the ship – and they saw the opportunity to project something of themselves (their queerness, their sense of being othered and isolated by their families, etc.) onto characters that they loved. The ship provided the opportunity for these young people to explore their senses of self and explore their identities.

And sure, as I’ve said in the past, perhaps that wasn’t ideal – the fact that these young folks were starving for anything that was like them and so had to make a feast from whatever they had available. But I find something BEAUTIFUL in the fact that so many people were able to come together and create such beautiful things because Elsanna inspired them. I know people who met their partners, met their wives, through this ship. I’ve seen firsthand the positive influence it has had.

Like Elsa on the North Mountain, we felt isolated, we were figuring ourselves out. And we built wonders with what was inside of us. The beauty of some of the art in this ship is akin to the beauty of Elsa’s ice palace. The writing I have seen in this ship can be as elegant as any elegantly-sculpted spire Elsa fashioned through her own magic and her own will.

This ship was ours, is ours.

We made it for ourselves, to reflect ourselves and our identities and share aspects of those identities with others, the same way people came to ship Elsamaren when F2 came out. It may have been new faces and a new ship, but it was part of the same idea, just for a different time.

And when you look at the thousands of pieces of Elsanna fanfiction that have been written, and the thousands of pieces of fanart (especially the beautifully diverse styles of early Elsanna fanart) – you don’t get so many people expounding their passion and creativity on something unless it means something to them, and Elsanna meant something to so many people. Mattered to them. Look at the excitement and joy in people’s words in the early days of the fandom if you don’t believe me.

And I think that’s beautiful.

EDIT: I’ve made another post about this, but I want to add to this post that I regret saying things like “maybe that wasn’t ideal” when I wrote it. It WAS ideal because it was a beautiful to see us create a space for ourselves.

And it STILL IS beautiful. It CONTINUES to be beautiful. The fandom still exists and I’m glad that it still exists because it still brings such beautiful things into the world.

Elsanna isn’t just a placeholder until a better, more palatable ship comes along. Elsanna is beautiful in its own right.

#elsanna #frozen #icest #arencest

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transmutationisms · 5 months

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have you heard about HOCD (homosexual obsessive disorder)? i discovered this recently (which is not in the DSM "yet" but many therapists will still "diagnose" it). i'm perplexed, it seems like a way to add "homosexuality" back into the DSM without officially doing so. i've been trying to read up on it and it feels like it might just be... repressed homosexuality? internalized homophobia? there's a whole subreddit for it that mostly consists of "i looked at a guy today, could i be gay?!" and the responses like "don't worry brother, you're straight, just believe in yourself." (also, the description of HOCD seems to erase a lot of sexualities between gay and straight? and also how people tend to think a lot about their sexuality anyway?) what do you think, is this fake, insidious, or what

yep some patients and practitioners do refer to 'subtypes' of ocd, where this (or the broader 'sexual orientation ocd') are one such label. i don't actually know of any sustained effort to add these sub-labels to the dsm and i wouldn't expect to see such a thing unless and until someone starts marketing specific drugs or therapeutic modalities matched to particular 'subtypes'---dsm labels being insurance company billing codes

anyway i agree this label is ripe for use by people who simply want to discourage gay people existing (there is a corresponding and equally insidious 'gender identification' subtype these days as well) but fundamentally i do think this comes back to the idea that sexuality is some kind of discoverable, essential quality buried deep inside each of us, rather than a particular social-scientific taxonomical scheme attempting to capture and classify some of our extremely complex and personal thoughts and behaviours. i don't think it's actually very helpful to tell anyone with any kind of 'sexual orientation ocd' that what they need is, like, a qualified professional who can examine them mentally and root out the traces of Unwanted Fake Sexuality Thoughts, whether this goes in the direction of fearing you're gay or fearing you're straight or anything else.

i've always said it's fine to use a sexuality label if it feels right for you, no scrupulosity test required; similarly, i just don't think it's feasible to sit there all day trying to sort out which desires are real or fake. you can just act on them, or not, and it doesn't actually mean your soul has moved into some alternate categorical state either way lol. like i really just don't find it useful or accurate in general, the idea that there's some deeper, pre-social level of ourselves that we can or should discover. it's all contextual, gay desires equally to straight ones. basically you can do what you want forever and you actually don't have to torment yourself over how it reflects onto any mythologised notion of a stable or unitary Self. i think this is a much more incisive way of stopping the obsessional cycle of any ocd presentation than getting strategies for how to verify to yourself that you 'really are' xyz forever and endlessly 👍

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highpriestessaset · 6 months

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Pick an image: allow your intuition to guide you in your selection.

NEO 🕶️

[Superpowers:]

Patient, sees the bigger picture or different perspectives, inquisitive, hard-working, looks to long term goals or delayed gratification, adaptable

[How to use:]

These skills help you to see eye to eye with other individuals and species. I see someone who is caring and eager to understand how another maneuvers throughout their life. Where many would be fearful or judgmental, instead, you are curious.

You may be interested in marine biology, veterinary duties, care giving, or anything that allows you to study, interact, care for, or capture the beauty of life- whether it be plants, animals, humans, etc.

[Message:]

It seems like a dream you may have is put on hold due to financial concerns. It feels that a fixed mindset may be at the root of the issue. The message for you says that utilizing a growth mindset will bring you a lot closer to achievement.

(Click here for resource.)

————————————————————

TRINITY 🕶️

[Superpowers:]

Leader, has a good sense of direction, bold, initiative, innovative, independent, free-spirited, energetic, playful/fun, light-hearted, innocent

[How to use:]

These skills help you to travel or maneuver around situations that may be difficult. It seems like you have your own level of inner peace you are able to maintain by knowing when and how to go at things alone.

[Message:]

You are fully capable of capturing some sort of entrepreneurship or self employment opportunities. There may be some confusion amongst yourself or from outside voices with opinions about what you should do.

The message for you is to release the expectations of others and any you have placed on yourself that limit your options. This may look like going along with a loved one’s vision for you that you may not be passionate about. Whatever those expectations are, in releasing them, you give yourself permission to take a risk on your own idea that can make YOU happy and provide financial security.

Let go of the fear of failure, let go of the “what will they think”, let go of the thoughts that keep you from making any moves at all. Life is a journey of discovery- discovering what we like or don’t like. Even when we discover things we don’t like, that is information that brings us closer to knowing ourselves. Use your superpower of maintaining your inner peace to step away from negativity and simply discover yourself.

————————————————————

MORPHEUS 🕶️

[Superpowers:]

Intuitive, intelligent, thoughtful, truth seeking, assertive, advocate, wise, private or reflective (introverted), health conscious

[How to use:]

I see someone fit to be some sort of an educator, speaker, writer, influencer or advocate for a cause. The Star card shows me that you are passionate about freedom and peace.

Someone specific here may be interested in justice/law by advocating for people wrongly incarcerated.

Another specific person here may be interested in advocating for body acceptance and/or health related topics. Sharing your story can be powerful.

[Message:]

The truth speaks for itself. When you communicate, it is important to remove the ego. We can speak on what is true for us but, we cannot force anyone to believe anything. If what you say resonates with another, they will be interested in hearing more from you.

The message here says it is important to remove the ego because at times, it makes it hard for others to listen. Your messages may be powerful but they can only impact those who hear AND receive them. Let go of the need for others to hear and receive your messages WHEN and HOW you want them to. Remember, the truth speaks for itself.

*Readings are for entertainment purposes only.*

-// Blessings 🌺

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nayatarot777 · 1 year

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*Spirit The Bounty Hunter* What Karma Do Your Spirit Guides Hand Out To Your Enemies? 🤺🧿🚑

*photos from pinterest

if you’d like a private reading, check out my pinned post :)

• pile one •

who are your enemies?

a lot of your enemies are extremely immature, and i feel like the conflict that they cause is through being passive aggressive or petty in some way. they don’t think before they speak and they also try to cover up the way that they truly feel about things, while showing how they actually feel about something in a very roundabout way. a lot of your enemies have higher levels of narcissistic traits. maybe they’re even diagnosed with a personality disorder or a mental illness that narcissistic behaviour can be a symptom of, for a small number of you - or they would be if they actually self reflected and realised that they think and behave far from normally 🙃. i feel like the karma for a lot of these people is actually you. the universe made you guys cross paths because you were the one who was supposed to shatter their illusion of themselves. these people could continuously be surrounded by people who praise them or condone them. “yes men”, i’m hearing. i’m seeing that you guys are the types to call people out on their shit. because why shouldn’t you when they’re negatively affecting you and/or other people with their bullshit that you shouldn’t have to put up with? and they try to punish you for that. i feel like they’re usually met with a side to you that they haven’t seen before though, and that intimidates them to a very high degree. they don’t expect the switch up in personality or behaviour from you.

their karma for their bs

these enemies’ karma is that they experience major endings in life. usually in an extremely painful way - mentally painful most of all. a lot of them face a betrayal that they never saw coming. betrayal from people who they could have chosen or prioritised over you. it’s impossible for them to get out of this tower moment unless they face the truth like they need to and unless they choose to make a complete change in their life. that’s why so many of them are plagued with this karma for such a long time. because they refuse to acknowledge that they’ve manipulated the truth enough, causing nothing but harm and the continuation of bad behaviour. I’m hearing that for a lot of them they’re actually forced into starting life as they know it completely over in terms of what they think, what they value, what they say, etc. But this is like literal torture to them. They could feel oppressed after fucking with you. It’s like your guides are wrapping strong binds around their crown chakra, throat chakra, and root chakra specifically. The breaking of their family’s generational curses are significant in the ending of this karma too, as an aspect of shadow work. The realisation that they can’t “win” whatever conflict they’re in with you also forces them to realise that they’re having to “flee” or avoid this situation in some type of way, doing a lot of damage to their ego. i heard that they realise that they’re not untouchable.

• pile two •

who are your enemies?

your enemies could be people who are really disillusioned by money and the material world. i’m seeing someone having tunnel vision when it comes to making money and gaining materialism, to the point where they’re actually extremely lonely. they see the physical world as the most important aspect of life and they could even use people for some type of physical gain. these people could also prioritise their external image and/or appearance to cover up their internal, emotional, and mental issues. they could also be quite naive and gullible when it comes to new relationships and friendships. i feel like these people could also put others on a pedestal for some reason. they’re also very judgemental - especially of what others look like as well as other people’s relationships and connections (which is so fucking ironic because their’s is always a damn mess 😂). they focus more energy into creating judgement about others instead of making judgements on who THEY truly are. these people project all the time. they ignore the truth and reality of what’s presented to them if it’s not a truth that they like. i’m picking up on a lot of emotional manipulation from these people.

their karma for their bs

their karma always begins with people losing interest in them. i’m seeing someone competing for attention but all of their efforts being futile. someone else who’s much more respected and cared for comes along and knocks these people off of their “throne” and their high horse. i’m hearing “permanent damage to reputation”. i feel like things that they keep hidden or even a secret eventually come out, and they have to answer to many different people for their actions. maybe even give out many apologies. i’m seeing them being overwhelmed with judgement from others funnily enough. and i’m also hearing “societal judgement”. i’m picking up on community shame. you know how people used to throw tomatoes and shit at someone who was shamed in public, centuries ago? 😂 they’re forced to realise that they had people fucked up with the way that they judged and treated people before. i feel like a lot of these people are exposed for being hypocrites too. they feel defeated by the end of all of this and there’s nothing that they can do about it. especially from all of the connections that they permanently lose - particularly with authority figures or people who just have a high status. their reputation is thoroughly ruined. they shouldn’t have fucked with you, pile 2 👀.

• pile three •

who are your enemies?

hi, pile three! your enemies are those who made you feel as though you weren’t a priority for them. they didn’t value you as much as they did other people because you were different to them. this could be in terms of something to do with your identity (gender, age, race, sexuality, etc.). so this could have been someone who you had a different gender, race, nationality, religion, or sexuality to. discriminatory beliefs held on their part could have played a part in any behaviours of devaluation from this person. overall, they just didn’t value you as much as they did other people in their life. or as much as they did themselves in a situation. you ended up protecting yourself because these people were blocking your blessings in many ways. they could have been draining energetically, and i’m feeling like they were always looking for you to bring balance to their life whenever they needed it. giving very much user energy. you stopped letting them use you though and they got angry and upset like the energy vampires they are 😂. these people also cling onto their egos as a way to avoid having to hear and acknowledge the truth about themselves. they try to control things too much. these people don’t like internally changing and becoming self aware because they don’t like admitting that they’re wrong for doing something. they have very fragile egos and can’t handle anything that brings them out of their comfort zone. they could feel chronic shame and low self esteem which they use their egos to cover up. these people are extremely emotionally immature and emotionally dysregulated, considering the extents that they’ll go to to not admit “defeat” (in their minds).

their karma for their bs

their karma is that they eventually reach a point in their lives where people don’t show them love as much as they did before. if you resonate with the message above about having them use you for balance in their lives, the lack of balance that ensues after you leave their lives really affects their other relationships and connections with people. they feel neglected from care and nurture. they also feel like they’re restricted in expressing how they feel to others too, perhaps because they surround themselves with much more surface level friendships and connections, unlike whatever type of connection that they had with you - yet they still prioritised these people over you like fucking dummies. i’m seeing them wanting to send a message to you but knowing that they’d face rejection. they could even start facing rejection from everyone else because them trying to replace you as their emotional nurturer or free therapist by forcing emotional offloading onto the same people that they chose over you never works out well for them. serves them right. they’re forced to be more dedicated to logic than emotions, and as a result of this, their pent up emotions come out in the form of harsh communication. they don’t think before they speak with the people around them anymore because they’re forced to hold onto their own emotional burdens now. this comes out in passive aggressive communication for them. maybe this is why people stop giving them as much love as before. they’re forced to learn self control and i’m hearing “more respect”. maybe they used their feelings about things as an excuse to disrespect people in the past, but they’re forced to actually focus on self accountability and self responsibility now. they’re forced to control how they speak to people and how they treat people. also to focus on making connections with others much more balanced. and i feel like these people don’t like balance. they like to take and not give much in return.

• pile four •

who are your enemies?

your enemies are people who seem to be reserved with most of what they actually think about you, but i feel like these are people who are surprised at your ability to still recognise what they actually think of you or what they have planned. they could have dealt with “foot in mouth” syndrome and accidentally exposed themselves when they didn’t mean to. they fear you and what you know - specifically what you know that you don’t speak of. probably about them. they feel caught up in a bind with something. they’re very cowardly and they could have tried to actively flee a situation and escape from having to answer for something. i’m also hearing that they could also be an opportunist. these are the types of people to not like you but still stick around for the opportunities or benefits that you bring. whatever they tried to get away with, you saw it clearly and they ran from the consequences (or tried to). they tried to gain control over whatever situation they felt exposed in. i’m even seeing that they tried to control your growth in some way, or whatever you were doing in life in an unsuspecting, sneaky, sabotaging way. they’re people in daily life who struggle to keep themselves balanced and in control of their basic responsibilities.

their karma for their bs

i’m hearing “capped”. their stability and comfort is capped in some way. they have to slow down with whatever they’re trying to build or attain in their own lives which leaves them feeling extremely behind in life. i’m also hearing that they’re weighed down by other people’s expectations - particularly by their family. perhaps their father or a masculine/bossy/father figure in their lives. they’re forced to settle for building something with someone who they’re not entirely happy with. they’re forced to commit to something that they feel holds them back and slows them down in life. and i’m even hearing “faking happiness”. it’s like they have to wear a mask and cover up every aspect of their genuine self for the sake of a partnership with someone else that they’re having to invest into something with. and i’m hearing that they “get in over their heads” with something or someone. idk if this is some type of contract, or living situation, or relationship that they find themselves in - but they don’t even feel mature or ready enough for this situation. they want their freedom with something but they feel like they’re having to live their lives more maturely than they’re ready for because of their rash decisions.

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bit-of-a-nerd · 9 months

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What Mike’s Room Means About Byler

we’ve all talked and hear about mike’s rooms queercoding. people talk a lot about the posters, which have two things: fantasy and men. men is obvious queercoding when you look at other characters rooms. the lack of women is interesting when making the case that hes gay not bi. but theres something that people dont talk a lot about

mike and el have a very strong sci-fi coding. that makes sense, its a sci-fi show, and their biggest season together was the season based as an homage to classic 80’s sci-fi films. creators have made comparisons to et, her powers in s1 had a strong “alien” vibe from sci-fi, and imagery with things like star wars.

however, byler has a strong fantasy coding. their first scene (both at all, but also their first one on one scene) had to do with dnd (fantasy game). this coding does go away for a bit in s2 when dnd takes a bit of a backseat (except for dustin coining the name of the mind flayer). but its back again in full force for s3. their major s3 fight (with TONS of queer mike coding and byler coding in general) was after the failed dnd game. will’s dnd game had some of the most pure fantasty vibes that we’ve seen of st dnd games. the music he used, the costuming, the village all screamed medieval fantasy.

not to mention dnd used to point towards mikes conformity. him leaving it in s3 is a sign of conformity, but him returning shows him starting to embrace himself. his costuming at rink o mania show’s thats not fully the case, pointing towards something else being the root of the conformity. then one of the (if not the) biggest byler scene, and the crux of what will be a major byler focused plot point, is will’s painting and the van scene. the painting? A FANTASY DND FIGHT! there’s a reason people love cleradin au’s and love the ship names cleradin and wiseheart. because dnd, and by extent fantasy, are woven into byler.

so keeping all that in mind, lets talk about rooms. rooms are usually a place for self expression. posters and things that express who you are and your interests. we've seen the duffers use rooms to express this in the past. but, they’ve also used rooms to show attraction. we dont see the second point much in mikes season 1 room, but we see the first. his room is a reflection of his nerdy interests and his friends mainly (also closet imagery!!!). but now that hes growing into a teenager it makes sense that we would begin to see the second part when we finally get his room again in s4.

so: interests, we see his fantasy posters and his guitar. his fantasy posters line back up with his participation in hellfire. not TONS there, but some signals to him adopting eddies style due to some facsination/hero worship/crush(???) of the guy (an example being the guitar).

but attraction is where his room gets REALLY interesting. he has MULTIPLE posters of shirtless men. his one way sign to the closet. does more need to be said? it does. because attraction to men and being closeted, doesn’t mean much for being in relationships. (again bi people do exist!! he could be closeted and still in love with his gf)

In this scene he’s reading a letter from his girlfriend, in their ‘perfect’ relationship, their sci-fi coded relationship. so, even with the attraction to men coded, maybe the duffers didnt see the need to recode his female attraction, they just added coding of his relationship into his room, right? he might just not be the guy to have a shrine to his partner, he might just be more subtle?

except all the posters are more fantasy leaning. which is a different genre from scifi. his room does not point towards his relationship with el. but we fantasy is the coding behind his and will’s relationship. the same relationship that in their time apart he’s somehow managed to start acting weirder around his best friend, and feel the need to assert that they. are. just. friends. the same friend who just got confirmed in love with mike, and is now a love interest.

I know theres been a lot of talk about mikes room but people haven’t really talked about the fantasy aspect, or bylers fantasy coding and mlvns sci-fi coding. I think it’s a lot more important than people are giving it credit for.

#byler #mike wheeler #stranger things #analysis #media analysis #mikes room #queercoding #stranger things analysis

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nikolai-alexi · 1 year

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Jegulus Mini Fic #3

WC: 6035 words, average read time ~40mins

CW: symptoms of GAD that are commonly associated with EDs, mild description of vomiting, brief mention of a self-destructive stims, detailed descriptions of overstimulation, mentioned use/overuse of magical stimulant and negative side effects, sensory overload + issues, descriptions of violence to a briefly mentioned character, ftm trans character, mentions of top surgery and hysterectomy.

There are days when James rolls out of bed that he really, really wishes he could just stay curled under the duvet and pretend the day didn’t exist. And from the second he opened his eyes this morning, it was going to be one of those days.

Days like this, where his skin feels too tight over his bones, and everything around him feels way too sharp but so dull at the same time, he has a hard time looking at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t like to see the haunted look behind his own eyes. He feels like an imposter.

It’s not like he’s sad, okay? He’s just…not happy today. It’s 7th year, NEWTs are breathing down all of their necks, the war is brewing quicker every day, and he’s just under a lot of pressure. That’s all. It’s not like he has any real excuse to be bothered. It’s fine. It’s just a day, he’ll get through classes, sneak in a few cigarettes and cheering charms to keep his friends from worrying, and then see Reg tonight and it’ll be fine.

He finally forces himself to look up into the mirror and nods firmly to himself. It’ll be fine. He practices his smile in the reflection before dragging himself into a shower before the other lads wake for the morning scramble before breakfast. He’s never more thankful for being an early riser than he is on days like this; well, actually, that might be a lie, he’s also very thankful for his early rising the mornings after a party, when he gets to be the one to wake all his hungover friends with a cool glass of water, exceptionally greasy food, and a hangover potion. They never fail to bitch and whinge about it, but he knows they’d be hopeless without him. The thought makes a small, but genuine smile flutter across his lips for a brief moment. That’s good, he thinks, maybe there’s hope for the day after all.

There is not, in fact, hope for the day.

By the time he and the lads get down to the Great Hall for breakfast, James has already had to hit himself with three separate cheering charms to keep appearances up and he’s starting to feel the effects of it. There’s sweat pooling around his shirt collar and it feels like sandpaper rubbing against his skin. His right eye is twitching every few minutes. His tie feels like it’s choking him and his hands are violently shaking every time he pulls them out of his trouser pockets. The noise in the hall is overwhelming and ricocheting inside his skull like a fucked up mockery of the muggles’ pinball arcade game. He can’t focus on anything other than the way his skin feels like it’s buzzing and the nauseating feeling of eyes on him. Merlin, how he hates this. He wants to rip his hair out by the roots, if for nothing else, to have something else to focus on.

Eating, is a hurdle of an entirely different kind.

His stomach feels like it’s lodged in his throat, but simultaneously also feels as though it’s being weighed down with lead. The smell of all the food around him makes him viciously nauseous, but he knows he needs to eat something. His friends are used to him working up quite the appetite from his sunrise Quidditch drills, so he needs to have some sort of excuse ready for when they inevitably ask him about his apparent lack thereof.

It’s Peter who starts the line of questioning. James isn’t surprised, Pete’s got a sharp eye for everything. Nothing gets past him.

“Y’alright, mate?” He asks, when James makes no move to add anything other than a piece of toast to his plate.

James shoots him a bright grin that feels entirely false on his face, “‘Course, Wormy!” he says, “Why’ja ask?”

Peter grins back at him and gestures to his plate, “You don’t seem to have much of an appetite this morning, just wanted to make sure, yeah?”

James’ false grin slips into a crooked little smile. Selfishly, he really liked when his friends showed they were concerned for him. He liked the warm feeling it gave him when they let him know he could tell them if something was wrong. He wouldn’t, of course, tell them. He refused to burden them with something so trivial as a bad day, but he liked to know the option was there. If he wanted it, which he did, even if he wouldn’t take them up on it.

“Nah, no reason to fret, I snagged a miniature feast from the kitchens before coming back to the tower this morning. Ran more drills than usual and I didn’t want to wait for you lazy sods to get out of bed while I was hungry,”

The lie tastes like ash on his tongue, but it comes easily enough. Peter is chuckling and shaking his head at his theatrics, Remus is rolling his eyes, and Sirius balls up a serviette to throw at his head. They’re always easily distracted when presented with an opportunity to tease him about something.

“Merlin damns the day that lazy sods like us keep a hangry James from his breakfast, eh Moony?” Sirius barks out. James retaliates with a serviette of his own, and lands it right in the middle of Sirius’ porridge. The offended glare he gets in return makes a smug little grin appear.

“Right you are, Pads, think I heard once that Circe herself once condemned a man fool enough to try and delay our dearest Prongs from brekkie after Quidditch,”

“Oi!” He protests in mock offence, “I’m not that bad, you rotten bastards,”

That makes all three of them nearly snort with laughter. He is absolutely that bad and they all know it, but he’ll proclaim innocence on the matter every time anyways. And he pretends not to know that they carry snacks with them everywhere they go, just like he carries chocolate for Moony, just in case he gets a bit hangry every now and again.

Thankfully, the lads are sufficiently reassured and redirected after that, moving on to whinge at the dreadfully long essay for DADA that only Remus and James had started, but were nowhere close to finishing and the upcoming Hogsmeade trip.

He manages to choke down his singular piece of toast and gulp down a glass of water, but he already knows it won’t be staying down. His stomach is cramping ruthlessly and he wants to slam his forehead into the wooden table. Classes haven’t even started for the day and he already isn’t sure if he can do this. It’ll be fine, he thinks, it’ll have to be fine. He can spin his mates a lie they’ll believe, but apparently, he’s proper shit at lying to himself.

When they finish breakfast and head to their first class of the day, History of Magic, thank Merlin, James is able to nip off to the lav with minimal fuss and an assurance of meeting the lads in the classroom when he’s finished. As soon as their backs are turned, he’s booking it for the nearest loo before his singular piece of toast makes its re-emergence from his stomach right there in corridor. He’s already kneeling in front of the toilet, a hasty locking charm thrown over his shoulder, when his body rebels against him.

He’s not paying attention to anything other than his own misery while his body shakes and retches, so when a pair of hands settle gently on his back, he flinches against them.

“Easy, Darling, it’s just me,” And he’d know that soft baritone voice just about anywhere, no matter what was happening. It’s easy for him to relax into Regulus, his side pressing against Reg’s front with his knees pulled tightly into his chest, still shaking with the aftershocks of his stomach turning inside out.

He’s vaguely aware that he’s crying, but he can’t spare the thought to be concerned about it when Reg’s cold hands feel like salvation against his overheated skin. He would very much like to simply bury himself in those hands, thank you. Regulus seems to know exactly what he wants, because he sweeps a hand from James’ cheek to the back of his neck and brings their faces together until they’re resting their foreheads against each other. James can feel Reg’s breath tickle his nose, and unconsciously begins to settle his own hiccuping, gasping breathing to match.

It’s an indiscernible amount of time before James is able to pry his gritty eyes open to meet Regulus’. There’s so much worry, anxiety, and endless amounts of love reflected in those eyes that James feels like he may be sick again from it. He has to squeeze his eyes closed again, feeling more tears leak out the corners, and he begins rocking back and forth. How could he put this on Reg? How selfish was he? Regulus had so much more on his plate than James would ever have; abusive parents, being forced into taking the mark and becoming a spy, trying to mend his relationship with his brother, hiding his relationship with his brother’s best mate, trying to keep himself, Evan, and Barty alive despite every contrary effort by the latter two, keeping his grades afloat, and captaining the Slytherin Quidditch team. There was no way James could add more hippogriff shit to Reg’s already overflowing plate. He refused to. He’s not really aware of his arm coming up and bringing his palm to the side of his head repeatedly, but he does feel it when Regulus catches his wrist and brings his hand to rest at the base of Reg’s neck and bury his fingers in the curls that rest there. He doesn’t even think about not winding the hair around his finger repeatedly, until the weight on his chest lets up a little bit. It’s only then he opens his eyes again. He searches intently for any signs of anger or annoyance he thinks should be in those ice blue eyes, but all he finds is love and concern. He wants to close his eyes again, but he knows he won’t.

“There you are,” Regulus breathes, relief coating his words. He twists to his school bag, pulling out a few vials of potions from within it.

“For your nausea,” he says softly, uncorking the vial and gently tilting it into James’ mouth.

He wants to feel slightly embarrassed about it, but his hands are still trembling as bad as Sirius’ or Regulus’ do after a conversation with their mother, so he’s under no illusions that he would most certainly drop any potions vial he was handed. And honestly? He welcomes the relief of an anti-nausea potion. He feels miserable.

Regulus grabs the next vial, an aquamarine blue potion that James would know in his sleep with the amount he’s taken them in the last few years. He’s still grateful when Regulus mumbles, “Calming Draught,” before he pours it into James’ mouth.

Next is a dark green potion that would have James scowling petulantly if he had the energy for such a thing. He detests Nutrient Potions. Regulus rolls his eyes like he knows exactly what James is thinking, which, let’s be real, he probably does, and says, “Only half of this, I promise. You just need something in your stomach,”

He lets out a pathetic little whinge, but doesn’t try to fight it when Reg holds it up to his mouth. He does, however, make a nasty face at it. Reg huffs a little laugh before directing a soft Aguamenti charm into his mouth to wash away the aftertaste. Merlin, James thinks, he’s the best secret boyfriend anyone could ever hope to have.

The last vial Regulus has is another green potion, but this one is a bright, almost neon, green and James understands why the Nutrient Potion was necessary. Headache Remedies are nasty business taken on an empty stomach, he knows that from firsthand experience and he’d like to never repeat that particular hell ever again.

“See?” Reg teases, a wry grin on his face, “I don’t always torture you for no reason,”

James huffs a little bit, more on principle than anything else, but Reg seems to understand exactly what he means without needing him to come up with the words to say it.

“Last one, yeah? Then we’re getting off the lav floor,” James nods, not really wanting to move, but knowing he probably should.

The Headache Remedy goes down much easier than the Nutrient Potion did, and he starts to feel the results of the potions almost immediately. The pounding pressure against his temples recedes, his stomach feels like it’s back in its anatomically correct spot, his hands are still shaking a bit but they’re better than they were, and his bloody eye has finally stopped twitching. He breathes a sigh of relief, he truly hadn’t realised just how awful he was feeling until now. It’s a rather sad thing to realise that he feels the best he’s felt all day after having a complete breakdown on a lav floor.

Regulus hauls them both up, casting heavy cleaning charms at both their clothes, scooping both their bags off the floor, and steering them to the sinks. It takes a bit of manoeuvring, but he somehow manages to get James sat up on one of the sinks. James’ glasses are snagged off his face with a deftness only a Seeker could have and tucked gently into the pocket of Reg’s robes. He conjures a soft terrycloth rag and wets it in the faucet, bringing it to James’ face, not wiping, but pressing the cold cloth to the undersides of his eyes.

“It’ll get rid of the puffiness,” he explains. He quirks a sardonic smile at James, pulling the rag away from his face, wringing it out, and refreshing the chilled water on it again, “The only good thing about masquerading about as a woman for a decade and change is knowing all the secrets to having a breakdown and coming out the other side looking better than you did before,”

That punches a pathetic little laugh from James’ chapped lips, but the spark that lights up in Regulus’ eyes at the noise makes him feel like he’s just been wrapped in a blanket with how the warmth encases him.

Regulus takes his time, pressing the cloth to the swollen undersides of James’ eyes, wiping the gritty tear tracks from his cheeks, and sliding the rag around his neck and the accessible parts of his collarbone to rid the sweat that had adhered itself to his skin. He regaled James with soft murmurs of castle gossip, student dating drama, something interesting he’d found in a new potions journal he read over the weekend, the latest disaster Evan and Barty had gotten themselves into, anything and everything he could think of. James would occasionally hum an acknowledgment or huff with a bit of laughter or indignation, but for the most part, he simply sat there on the sink with his head leaned back onto the mirror and his eyes closed. He looks exhausted. Regulus wishes, not for the first time, that he could take away everything and anything that ever made James feel like this.

He knows James is coming out of this episode when his eyes slowly open and he blinks rapidly, as if coming out of a daze. He lifts his head from the mirror and looks around owlishly until Regulus perches his glasses back on his face. When his eyes focus back in, James makes a peculiar face. His nose scrunches up and his lip curls in a poor imitation of a sneer, before he gracelessly folds in on himself and plops his head onto Regulus’ shoulder.

“Ugh.” He groans. Regulus chuckles, but doesn’t respond. Just threads his fingers into James’ wild hair and holds him.

When they part, James avoids his gaze, and his dark skin is flushed. He’s embarrassed. Regulus really isn’t sure why he’d be embarrassed, because James has been in the exact opposite position for some of Regulus’ own historical blubbering breakdowns, and he is not a pretty crier.

“Are you alright?” Regulus asks quietly. James just shrugs, still refusing to meet his gaze. Regulus takes ahold of James’ chin with a barely-there grip and brings his face where he has to at least look at his face, rather than the wall.

“James,” he says, a little firmer, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

He can’t help but worry about James’ parents, Effie and Monty, despite him never having actually met them. He cares about them regardless because Sirius and James care about them so much. With the war rising quickly on the horizon, he’s put a lot of effort into setting up discrete information pipelines on the elder Potters. He hopes it’s going to be enough to stop anything that will inevitably turn its eyes toward them.

“No,” James rasps, his voice hoarse, “Nothing happened. Just a shit day.”

Regulus regards him for a moment. James can’t lie to him for shit, not when he’s looking at him anyways, so he nods.

“Pink!” He calls out and a house elf apparates into the loo. She’s his favourite Hogwarts elf, her pinkish-purple eyes and colour charmed tea-towel dress had caught his eye in first year and she was the first to ever use his real name. He adored her. Today, her tea towel was yellow. It felt fitting somehow.

“What can Pink be doing for her favourite Master Regulus?” Pink was about as subtle as a hippogriff with her blatant favouritism towards him. He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t love it.

“Could you bring us some lavender chamomile tea please? One with two sugars and milk and the other black? If you’ve the time?”

Pink looked around the lav, judgement clear on her face, “Pink would be happy to get Master Regulus and Mr Potter tea, but she shan’t be giving it in the lavatory. No, no, no,”

The elf snapped her fingers and suddenly they were sitting in an empty classroom, their belongings at their feet and a table with a tea service between them. James had a bewildered expression on his face that Regulus couldn’t help but laugh at. They each made up a cuppa before looking back at Pink who hadn’t left. She nodded firmly at them.

“Much better. Young masters will call Pink if they need anything,” she says before popping away.

“Merlin, I love that elf,” Regulus chuckles. If he makes it through the war he’s going to find a way to force Dumbledore to part with her. Kreacher would throw a fit about it, but he’d come around soon enough.

It was slow work getting James speaking again over tea. At first he’d respond with a few words but mostly stayed quiet, but gradually two cups of tea later, he was responding with a sentence or two. There was a long, comfortable silence between them where Regulus took his chance and pressed the issue at hand.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?” He asks, voice gentle and quiet. James presses his eyes closed for a moment. Regulus knew pulling the “sunshine” card was unfair, but he was a Slytherin. James knew better than to expect him to ever play fair, “Are you okay?”

James huffs an irritated sounding breath, “Ehhh?” He says, “I’m not…not okay,”

Regulus cocks his head, “Well…that’s something I suppose. What happened?”

James shrugs his shoulders, running a frustrated hand through his hair, “I don’t know! I just- really, it’s just a bad day. I don’t know. Nothing happened. I just woke up and everything was so much and it felt like I was drowning in my head. And it’s so stupid! There’s absolutely no reason I should feel like this!”

The amount of anger in James’ voice is unexpected, but Regulus can understand it. He get into proper strops over his own emotions constantly, but for the opposite reasons. James feels everything at 110% all of the time. Regulus feels things at maybe 10% on a good day. He doesn’t know what it’s like to feel things as the level James does, but he can imagine how overwhelming it could be. He’s still trying to form a response when James whispers, “It’s fine. I promise, I’m fine,”

And Regulus feels his heart break a little bit for James. He’d mentioned little things about his fits of anxiety and issues with certain sensory input here and there, but Regulus had never been privy to the actual moments before.

“Can I- Do you-“ Regulus couldn’t quite figure out the words he was trying to push past his mouth, “Is there something that Sirius or the others do to help when you feel like this? Something I can do?”

He felt a bit of a flush creeping up his neck, but he refused to think about it. He was trying to get better at communicating with his boyfriend. Trying to become someone worthy of having someone like James Potter in his life. These are the kind of questions that James would ask him if their positions were reversed, he’s sure of that, so he’s going to put his emotionally repressed brain to the side and be here for James, no matter how hard it is.

James looks at him a bit quizzically, like he’s genuinely confused as to why Regulus is asking that. He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “They…uh…they don’t actually know about all of…” he gestures vaguely to himself and it takes nearly all the pureblood etiquette training he received his entire life to not let his eyes bug out in surprise. Merlin’s tits, this self-sacrificing idiot is going to be the death of me.

He’s seen just about every person from Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff lean on James for something at some point in time. He’s seen James sit with girls while they cry over their boyfriend breaking up with them. He’s seen him sit with homesick first years, do quidditch coaching for second years, transfiguration tutoring for just about every year. He stops and talks to nearly everyone on the way to class because he knows a little bit about everyone and prides himself in being available for everyone anytime.

Hell, he beat up and hexed the shit out of some upper year Slytherins when he wandered by at the wrong time and saw them jump Evan. He hadn’t remotely questioned it. James had seen Evan, someone he’d frequently exchanged hexes with and barely knew outside of what Regulus had told him, bleeding and unconscious on the ground, and jumped head first with no hesitation into the fray to help.

James had managed to heal a fair bit of the damage done, and had Evan to the hospital wing in record time. While Madame Pomfrey worked over Evan, James had tracked down Barty, Regulus, Dorcas, and Pandora, despite being openly hostile with or barely aquatinted with Regulus’ friends, and he’d gone to Slughorn to file a formal complaint against the students responsible. James denies all accusations of string pulling with his father, but three out of five of the boys responsible for Evan’s attack had their wands snapped and had been expelled from the school before Evan ever stepped foot out of the hospital wing. Barty has never raised his wand against James since, Evan occasionally stopped to chat with him in the halls, Dorcas ran quidditch drills with him after practices, and Pandora has a standing invitation to pretty much any Gryffindor festivities.

James does so much for everyone around him, it simply doesn’t make sense to him as to how no one has noticed how badly James is struggling.

Regulus vanishes the tea service, shrinks their belongings, throws his outer robes on before hauling James up and doing the same to him, “Come,” he says, extending out a hand for James to take.

“What? Where are we going?” James doesn’t hesitate to take his hand though, and he hauls him through the now-empty corridors without answering him. They head straight out the front entrance hall doors, but Regulus doesn’t slow his pace until they get to the Black Lake. Together, they amble hand in hand around the waterbody.

“Are you not worried someone will see us?” James asks, a few minutes into their walk.

“No,” Regulus replies, “And if they do, that’s something I’m not unwilling to face,”

James turns a baffled look onto him, “But you said-“

Regulus holds up a hand to stop him, “I know. And when I said it, I thought hiding it would keep us both safe. But there’s a war on the horizon, Darling, and no one is safe. We’re in no more danger being together in public now than we will be once the war begins. If that’s something you want, if you want to be in public with me, I’m happy to give it to you,”

James thinks his heart might explode right there in his chest. He’s wanted nothing more than to scream his love for Regulus Black for almost two years now. Well, he wouldn’t scream it from the rafters, Reg would hate that, but he’s wanted nothing more than to be able to be with Reg outside of closed doors and late night astronomy tower visits. Now he has the opportunity.

“What happens when the war comes?” He asks, terrified of the answer, but hopeful all the same.

Regulus shrugs, “We can make a big scene, fake a breakup because we’re choosing different sides or somesuch rot, or we can grab the people we love and get the fuck out of this thrice forsaken country. Away from Voldemort and away from Dumbledore. Make them fight their own war, I suppose. Travel, if we want. Find somewhere we love and stay for however long we want. I don’t know, James, the war is coming regardless of what we do. I’d like to believe we have the power to choose our fates. Just this once I’d like to pretend that we have control over our lives,”

Regulus pauses for a moment before laughing to himself, “Just this once, I’d like to pretend that the biggest danger to us being together is dealing with Sirius when he finds out,”

James chokes out a laugh at that, fully able to envision his best friend’s face when he finds out. When. Not if. Despite the sharp ring of terror that James feels about that idea, the thought that he could find out and that he and Reg weren’t doomed to fail made him smile a bit like a fool.

“Merlin,” James breathes, “I’m not sure if he’d want to kill me or want to kill you more,”

They chuckle about it, squabbling like they do about everything with smiles on their faces, even if they are discussing more and more outlandish plots that Sirius would come up with for their demises.

James snorts when Reg describes a truly macabre murder plot Sirius could use to murder them both for daring to date each other, “Genuinely, I think we’re going to be in more danger when Pads finds out than we’ll ever be in with the Death Eaters,”

“Too right you are, Potter,”

Both he and Reg whip around and come face to face with one very, very pissed off Sirius Black. He can see Reg’s lips quirk up into a smirk and he knows this isn’t going to be pretty. He shoots a “help me” look over to Remus and Peter who are hovering behind Sirius, both of them shrug their shoulders as if to say “sorry pal, you’re on your own”. Lovely.

“Pads, look mate, I can explain,”

Sirius’ flinty eyes snap over to him and glare darkly, “If you’re about to tell me it’s not what it looks like, I will drown you in the lake,” he threatens. James laughs.

“No, it’s exactly what it looks like. And sounds like, I’m assuming, if you’ve been following us for a while.”

He looks at Sirius for a long moment, and Sirius looks back at him without wavering. They’ve long since mastered their communication without speech, but that isn’t what this is. It’s a bit of a battle of wills, but also a test. And James never shies from a challenge. When Sirius flicks his eyes heavenward, James knows he’s won.

“Sirius Orion Black the III, I’m hopelessly, helplessly, and doubtlessly in love with your brother. I have been for the last two years. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I’m not remotely sorry I fell in love with him. If it’s any consolation, I don’t love him enough to let Slytherin win on the pitch?”

Sirius snorts, a little bit unwillingly, but seems to take that answer.

“Janamejaya Fleamont Potter,” Sirius starts, a nasty little grin stretched across his lips.

James groans at his full name, dropping his head into his hands, “Merlin, I fucking hate you Padfoot. Two years. I went two years without him finding that bit out. You’re a rotten bastard, Black,” Sirius just cackles at the gleeful little smirk Regulus has on his face. Regulus won’t ever let this go. Serves the traitorous brotherfucker right.

He continues without paying James, who’s glaring death at him, any mind, “I really cannot fathom why you, of all people, would fall for my horrid little brother, of all people, but here we are. I will absolutely never forgive you for this, but I suppose I’m going to have to live with it, even if I really don’t like it, aren’t I?”

Both James and Regulus respond immediately with a resounding, “Yes,”

Sirius huffs a long suffering sigh, “If I ever, and I mean, ever, see shit between the two of you that isn’t fit for the public view, I will castrate the both of you,”

Regulus snorts in a very un-Blacklike way, “Shall I inform you of all the safe sex measures we currently employ, brother dear?” He asks, faux sweetness dripping from his works. Sirius goes pale, then briefly green, then a horrible puce colour.

Regulus is doubled over laughing at his brother’s misery. Remus’ lips are twitching in an effort not to laugh, and Peter’s somehow managed to get to the kitchens and back with popcorn and is watching the verbal duel with rapt attention.

Sirius has launched into a, frankly, well-informed lecture, whilst still shouting and still looking vaguely nauseous, and Regulus hasn’t stopped laughing yet. James knows exactly what Regulus is doing, and he can’t help the fond, but exasperated look he has on his face as he watches two of the most important people in his life attempt to verbally incinerate each other. They haven’t actually tried to murder each other yet, though, so he’s counting it as a win.

Regulus lets Sirius go on his tangent for about ten minutes before he finally pulls himself together and stops antagonising his poor brother, who’s about thirty seconds away from a heart attack if the brilliant scarlet colour his face is sporting is any indication.

“Sirius,” he says softly. Sirius doesn’t stop his ranting for even a second, Regulus can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Sirius,” he says a little firmer. Still, Sirius barely pauses long enough to take a breath.

“Siri,”

And of course, that’s what shuts him up. It seems he’s on a roll with pulling out unfairly emotional nicknames for people today. Regulus hasn’t called his brother that silly little nickname in over ten years. It makes a sad little smile slant across his lips. He lifts his untucked white shirt up over his lower stomach, where a long scar stretches across his abdomen.

“I got all of it removed when I had top surgery. Stop panicking, you idiot, I’m fucking with you,”

That’s the top of Sirius’ threshold apparently, because he launches himself at Regulus, tackling him to the ground and a pathetically short wrestling match ensues between the two of them. Regulus has Sirius pinned in no time at all, and James resolutely looks away from his boyfriend, only to meet the very smug gaze of Remus, who is surely going to rub this in both of their faces for all of eternity.

“Alright, alright! Regulus, let your brother up so he can lick his wounds in peace, yeah? Sirius stop whinging, Regulus is of age and can do as he pleases. Pack it in,” Of course the only person in the world that can get both Black brothers to listen to them is Remus bloody Lupin.

The lot of them continue walking around the lake as one group, and it’s a seamless transition. James and Regulus have their arms around each other, just like Sirius and Remus do. Peter is jumping between scurrying ahead or onto shoulders as Wormtail and popping back into the conversation as Peter. They tease each other relentlessly and poke fun the entire way around the lake. Remus and Pete argue about who figured out James and Regulus were together first, to which James and Regulus argue about when they actually got together to begin with.

As they near the castle, Reg slows his pace down and puts a bit of distance between the rest of the group and he and James, “Feeling any better, love?”

James seems a little bit startled by the question but nods, “Yeah, I do, actually. Loads better. Why?”

Reg laughs softly and has that mean little smirk that means he’s about to tease James relentlessly about something, “Apparently I needed to take my golden retriever of a boyfriend for a walk,”

James wants to feel offended about that, he really does, but the fact that he’s been equated to a golden retriever in three separate friend groups, when Sirius is supposed to be the dog out of all of them, will never not be funny to him.

Ahead, he can hear Moony’s laughter and hears Reg grumble something about “bloody werewolf senses”. Moony trips in surprise and nearly topples Sirius and Pete in order to keep his footing.

As they go to split off for their respective common rooms, James pretends that he doesn’t hear Moony talking to Regulus for a moment before they separate.

“I don’t know what you did, how you did it, and I really don’t know if I want to, but I just wanted to thank you for finding a way to be there for him on a day like this. He doesn’t let us in, Merlin knows we’ve tried, but he refuses to accept that he needs help sometimes. Reckon it’s some sort of misplaced guilt, but…” Remus trails off for a moment, running a hand through his hair with a vaguely frustrated noise.

“It’s gotten scary in the past, Reg. We rotate following him around when he disappears like that. Make sure he doesn’t get into anything stupid. Normally he goes up to the roof and chainsmokes until he’s out of fags or it’s too dark to see. When he disappeared off the map, don’t look at me like that I know he’s shown it to you, we all panicked. I don’t know where you found him or how you did it, but Merlin, I’m thankful you did. Maybe you can teach him what we keep failing to. He needs someone like you,”

Regulus has a soft look on his face, “Trust me, Lupin. I need someone like him too,”

Remus grins, it’s sharp and the points of his canines are clearly visible, “Good, because if either of you hurts the other, I’ll kill you both myself, got it?”

James and Regulus both exchange a moderately panicked look, but nod vigorously in response. That’s the unofficial cue for their group to disband to their common rooms, but before Regulus disappears down the corridor for the Dungeons, he glances over his shoulder at the backs of the four Gryffindors and asks himself,

“Did I just get bullied by a werewolf wearing a knit jumper? What is my life turning into?”

Only Remus turns around and smirks at him, “A comedy, Black. Best be ready for it. It only gets worse from here,”

Regulus shakes his head with a snort. Yeah, okay. A comedy is definitely a fitting title for his life. At least it isn’t a tragedy.

#regulus black #evan rosier #james potter #dorcas meadowes #jegulus #marauders era #barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior #sirius black #sunseeker #starchaser #wolfstar #rosekiller #mini fic #desi james potter #Janamejaya name credit to mraudersmoon #fic idea inspired by comet_fire on tiktok #james potter has GAD #among other things but this focuses on his anxiety the most #regulus is trying so hard to be supportive but is so out of his depth #sirius got over them being together way too fast but I didn’t want to keep dragging this on #also I kinda think it’s cute when he pretends to be angry at them but secretly he’s really happy they ended up with each other #if it has to be someone I think Sirius couldn’t pick someone better for regulus than James and vice versa #trans regulus #ftm regulus black #bamf regulus black #james & peter & remus & sirius #peter pettigrew #peter pettigrew is not a traitor #im gonna laugh my ass of if this gets two fucking likes the way number two did

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rocketturtle4 · 9 months

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Why is Akk So Relatable? A self-indulgent reflection.

Heyo so I once again, watched a BL series and related way too hard to a main character so it’s time to write an indulgently long post about said character so I can go back to sleeping normally!

(Previous installments were Arthrit and Tonhon) (@wen-kexing-apologist @plantsarepeopletoo if you wish)

This post is going to be a BIT LOT different from those posts because those posts were about the characters and their arcs and why they felt satisfying. This post is about Akk pulling out my personal self from high school and shoving that individual right in my face for 12 brilliant episodes so rather than leaving me with a vague feeling of being seen and understood, I am instead left with a whole lot of stirred up memories and emotions and so I have no idea where this is going.

Let’s GO

Building up Akks character in my head

In my projecting I feel like Akk probably built up his image of himself through middle school, he probably worked hard and had good grades, he wanted to go to a big school (possibly with Suppalo specifically in mind) and prove himself beyond his roots.

And then he got into it, he actually got in! (his parents are so proud!) and he was grateful and respectful and proud to wear the uniform and uphold the rules. His makes some friends, and these friends are happy to follow his rule abiding ways provided they indulge in some fun from time to time

And now he has authority and he puffs out his chest and uses it wisely because he’s important, because the teachers are relying on him, because his parents are proud of him. He’s doing good afterall.

[Ayan's Dad: "The head of student prefects. My boy!"]

He’s built up this image of who he is, not as a mask but as a genuine identity, He IS respectful and rule-abiding and confident and strong and so he NEEDS to maintain the order because the adults are TRUSTING HIM. (and his parents are proud of him).

And then what happens?

He wants something that's wrong (wrong to him, wrong to his image, wrong to his understanding of himself),

Wanting something is so dangerous to your own self image of (false) perfection. I remember wanting things in highschool, especially the last two years, things I believed I wasn’t supposed to want, things that people around me wanted, but they were teenagers, they had no self control, But I have self control, the adults TRUST ME, I don’t really want these things, If I want these things than all my adults will be disappointed because it turns out I’m just a teenager afterall.

And what does Akk want?

(for the record I am specifically framing the want as a what and not a who because in my context it wasn't a person)

Ayan

(who can blame him)

And then the cracks start to appear, not in his faith in the school, not yet, but in his own self image. Why does he want these things? (Can he have them?) What does wanting these things mean? (Is he bad?) If he takes them…(no don’t think of that).

Since I’m going full self-indulgent-head-cannon I am going to throw in the metaphor for self-falseness that I used in high school

I have erected a glass box around myself, the walls are clear to me and yet not to others, to others they show only the me I have created. Everybody can see into my box and yet no one can see me as I am. Only the perfect me is visible, only the good me, only the smart me, only the respectful me. The me banging on the walls of the glass prison I have erected is silent and invisible to everyone else. Why have I made myself silent? Why have I made myself perfect? and now that I have made myself this way…how can I unmake myself?

To unmake oneself can be the hardest thing of all.

Akk hurts me specifically, because while so many teenagers have a tough time for so many reasons it's normally depicted as so messy and unsure and there’s always these outside stressors on their self-image, or a lack of knowing who they are, and while the teachers in this show are ABSOLUTELY outside stressors that I will be talking about if this ramble ever winds that way, they’re not the primary maker for Akk’s sense of self. They’re a primary reinforcer, because in some ways they’ve stopped seeing him as a teenager, but they didn’t make him that way.

Akk’s pain is due to his internal identity crisis not for wanting something different from his parents or his friends but instead for wanting something different from himself

In this dichotomy of his OWN identity, the who he sees himself as vs the him who wants Ayan is the reason I don’t think I will ever be able to stop thinking about him.

I think the show did this really well (and also actually pulled a LOT of its punches (thank God)) because the thing Akk wanted, both wanted him back and could SEE HIM. Not the him through the box but the him IN the box.

Akk moments that emphasise this dichotomy

Because they’re rotting my brain

His moments with his parents (Original Identity)

[Ayan's Dad: I'll make him wear the uniform and take photos with you.] [Ayan: To make our family proud.]

His moment with Ayans Mum (New Identity) (with flavours of the old because there’s a lot of responsibility firmly tied in with this)

[Ayan's mum: Thankyou for taking care of Aye]

His moments with Mes (Old identity)

[Mes: Just believe in Suppalo's Rules]

He straightens his back in this scene, standing tall and proud at Mes' endorsement

His certainty that he’s bad under it all (new identity)

[Ayan: You know all the bad thing's I've done]

(compared to the perfect image the imperfect wanter must be bad)

His “idol” moment with Namo and the stuff in episode 9 too (old identity and new)

[Namo: Do you realise you've changed]

His teachers (ALL OF IT but here's some examples) (Old identity)

[Teacher Chadok: Then we will finally have peace] [Teacher Waree: This years prefects have performed the poorest of all in terms of controlling the school situations] [Ayan: I'll try harder] [Teacher Waree: Don't let down the one who chose you for the president title]

These moments were a sucker punch, especially in episode 10.

There's also all of Ayan gentle pushing, pulling, prodding and poking and he challenges Akk again and again, while also becoming his pillar of support. (New/changing identity)

There were way more but that's enough

Not with bang but with a whisper

With all this in mind I was fully expecting Akks complete breakdown to be a primary motivator for the curse of episode 11 to strike, I thought he’d be torn in two and lash out at Ayan who started it all.

But the show didn’t do this, and it wouldn’t retrospectively have been right to do so, because Ayan wasn’t passive, Ayan was something Akk already had and so his new identity was grounded and true.

Ayan successfully breaks Akk’s attachment to his perfect self by ripping the wool off Akk’s eyes about Chadok (he thinks it’s the truth anyway, kudos to Thua) and allowing Akk to fully chose Ayan, to choose his own real wants, to choose his own REAL SELF, even as he broke down over and over at this change because his self was still shattered even as Ayan helped make him whole again (not immediately, or perfectly but truly).

Even as it still took time after this to be able to say these things out loud. He could do it, and he could show his true self to the people who mattered.

[Akk's Mum: Whatever is repressed inside, say it.]

And that

It healed something in me.

#the eclipse #the eclipse the series #roc reacts to the eclipse #rturts is wondering #long post #not crazy long though

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buffysummers · 6 months

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The whole Angel turn into Angelus seems like a coming of age metaphor. Buffy gets intimate with her boyfriend Angel and he turns into an asshole, demonic creature.

Do you think this was intentional in the show’s part where a lot of their storylines is rooted in metaphor? How do you think the whole Angelus situation reflects onto Buffy and Angel’s relationship?

I always felt like Angelus still loved Buffy or at least the closest thing Angelus could approach to ever loving someone, being obsessed with them.

Even Willow commented commented about it, about how Angelus shares a thing with angel, how Buffy was all he ever though about.

The Angelus situation adds a very interesting dynamic and a new perspective to the Angel/Buffy dynamic and I wish people talked more about it.

It seems like many Bangel fans separate Angelus from Angel and Buffy relationship, and they are right to a degree Angel isn’t Angelus but it adds a incredible complex and interesting element to their relationship. I wish people talked more about it.

With Bangel it was so obvious how much Buffy and Angel loved each other, you can feel the pain and vulnerabilities of Buffy through the whole situation, you can see and feel how much Buffy cared and loved Angel and vice-Verza.

Buffy was in pain, but it was because of how much he loved Angel.

Maybe this is just me but I never felt the same wirh Spuffy, I always preferred them as belligerent friends than as a couple.

When they got to they whet Buffy was also in pain, but everything happened because she had no one to turn to, because of desperation and you can see how one-sided Spike and Buffy relationship truly was. Buffy looks disgusted and desolated every time she is with Spike. Is so incredible one-sided even the last “I love you” was out of pity.

I’ve seen how many fans tend to justify Spike’s actions and lay the blame in Buffy.

With Bangel I don’t see that happening too often even though it could be extremely easy to do so (Angel lost his soul after experiencing a true moment of happiness) but I wish people didn’t leave out Angelus out of the equation, because is part of the Angel and Buffy lobe story.

What do you think of it? What do you think Angel turning into Angelus represents as a metaphor? Do you think that when people talk about Bangel they should consider Angelus as part of the dynamic? Why or why not?

Hi! It was definitely intentional. Joss Whedon, the show creator, has spoken about this many times over the years. The first three seasons is "high school is hell" but literally. The Angelus storyline is the best representation of that, while also being the peak of the entire show, in my opinion.

Buffy having sex with her boyfriend and him losing his soul is meant to represent girls sleeping with their boyfriends or "finally giving it up" and then the guy just ghosts them or starts treating them like shit. Like, oh, they finally got what they wanted from them so now they can say and do as they please.

Joyce even says to Buffy in 2.17, "Don't tell me. He's changed. He's not the same guy you fell for." And she responds, "In a nutshell." Not that it needed to be spelled out because the metaphor is very obvious, but that's them spelling it out to the audience.

I think the Angelus storyline is incredibly powerful. It's a reflection of the depth of Angel's feelings for Buffy, and it adds so much to their love story. I think Angelus did love Buffy in his own sick, twisted way. Him being soulless just transformed the purity of Angel's love for Buffy into an obsession. Angelus hates the human parts of himself, and Buffy represents Angel's humanity, so him trying to destroy Buffy was also, like, self-flagellation in some ways? Which is just extremely tragic and heartbreaking but endlessly fascinating. Angelus literally wants to destroy the world to escape his feelings for Buffy. Even without his soul, he feels the depth and power of his love for her, and you really see this in 2.19, which is a sorely underrated episode.

I do understand why Bangel shippers separate Angelus from the Bangel relationship, because they weren't together at that time and obviously we shouldn't be romanticizing stalking, obsession, murder and psychological torment. It's a bit more nuanced than that, though. The storyline reveals so much about Angel and his love for Buffy while also putting a pause on their romance because he is changed. It's masterfully done, the way the story continues to develop the tragedy and profundity of their love while simultaneously mourning the loss of it.

The Spuffy dynamic is completely different, I don't really see the comparisons. The writing is thin, less compelling, and kind of makes me miserable? But not in a good way? Like, there's good television that breaks your heart but it's just so good that you love to hurt. With Spuffy, I just felt depressed and uncomfortable. Anyone who victimizes Spike and vilifies Buffy doesn't really seem to understand what the storyline is trying to tell us. So, it's honestly not worth having a discussion with them about it.

But to answer your final question, Angelus should always be involved in any discussion concerning Angel as a character as well as his relationship with Buffy.

You sent this ask like three months ago, I'm sorry it took me so long to answer. It's just very long and I agree with a lot of what you already said.

#anonymous #answered #bangel #anti spuffy #bangelus

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rfaromance · 9 months

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hello! I'm new to ur page, so i know ur taking time off for health reasons (get that rest bae take care of urself) but i was wondering if u could do a hc about how the RFA would react to a metalhead/heavy goth mc!! I've been playing the game again but it's weird being a heavy alternative enby and being compared to rika lmfao. thank u so much if u end up doing this one!! ♡

Yoosung is the one who immediately gets roasted for comparing you to Rika. "It's not about appearance!" he'd whine. "I don't even know what they look like beyond this profile picture!" Even when you're gushing about the latest release from your fave heavy metal band and going on your latest (valid) anti-capitalism rant, he would still be enamored. "It's their heart. They have a good heart that wants what's best for good people." Rika is a state of being, an ideal, a concept he has put on a pedestal to help him cope with his grief. He thinks the fact that you have more piercings than Rika is neat, actually, and may want your help the next time he touches up his roots.

Zen finds you to be a kindred spirit, of sorts. Someone who goes against the grain, against how society "expects" people to behave. Ever devoted to his friends, he may actually start acting overprotective! He knows he got into a lot of trouble as a teen, and he doesn't want you to make the same mistakes. You may have to gently remind him that just because you dress a certain way doesn't mean you act a certain way, and that stereotypes don't benefit anybody! (He quickly apologizes and goes back to being his usual self, but he will dote on you quite a bit.)

Jaehee of course is one of the people reprimanding Yoosung for comparing you to Rika. Some may think that someone as straight-laced as Jaehee, a top student and hard worker, may look down on alternative folks. On the contrary, she admires you! When growing up, she always worked herself to the bone and kept quiet, behaving in a way that wouldn't inconvenience her aunt & uncle. She actually wishes she could express herself more instead of just plowing through school and work to land a well-paying job, all in the name of "not being a burden." Maybe you can teach her how to be more comfortable with herself and her own wishes and desires, instead of following the path that she (and capitalism) thought was "best" for her.

707 thinks you're super cool. Genuinely. For starters, you're going to have him reflecting a lot on his own gender identity. He knows he loves dressing in women's clothes, but he also has days where he wants to be a strong & handsome man. The idea that he can be both or neither... Sorry, he's going to be having a Talk with his new nonbinary bestie. He's also going to want your help with his makeup. Oh, my goodness. He's going to look at the bands you're into and look at your own appearance and go, "Teach me eyeliner. I am begging. I will get on my knees and beg." Much like Zen, however, he will worry a bit. He knows you're a kind soul, but he also knows his agency (and others like it) are quick to prey upon those who feel they don't have a place in the world. "Don't answer any phone calls from strangers, you hear?" (As if you weren't led to the apartment by a mysterious text in the first place....)

Jumin is another one who people may expect to be judgmental or critical. Instead, he's fascinated. At first you may feel like a bit of a guinea pig or science experiment with the way he just flings questions at you, but it's his way of expressing his interest. Jumin is someone who doesn't openly talk about his interests because apparently, a perfect CEO-in-line isn't supposed to enjoy the nuances of dark magic, the supernatural, or reality shows where cats compete to see who can carry the heaviest fish. Your openness and unapologetically being yourself will catch his interest. He cares about you a lot.

#rfa #mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #headcanon #thanks for the ask!#anon #I am SO sorry this took so long :')

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lilith-incarnate · 2 years

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☆Choose Your Rainbow☆

♡Pile one♡ Crystal: Citrine (Solar Plexus)

Your future holds a destined soulmate. Orange is the prominent color in this pile. Orange represents the Sacral chakra which rules over creativity, sexual energy, emotions and relationships. The self esteem card is in the center… this Twin/Soulmate will trigger you. They will make you see where you need healing, whether they are conscious of that or not. Do you deem yourself worthy of happiness? Make sure you continue working on your inner healing so you won’t reject the opportunity for happiness when it arises. Now, be aware that the roles could be reversed. Your Twin could reject the opportunity for themselves at first. If you don’t believe you deserve love, you won’t see it when it presents itself. Be patient and live with joy. The journey will be not always be smooth, but happiness is ultimately your right. You really can have it all, you’re not foolish. Dreams and reality are only separated by our bodies. Some of the best art was inspired by dreams, you know.

༺Pile two༻ Crystal: Clear Quartz (Crown Chakra)

I don’t know what your life looks like, as this is a general reading, but I know suffering and endurance when I see it. Pain is represented in the color red, correlating with the Root Chakra (grounding, survival). Red is associated with anger, passion, excitement, aggression, lust and strength. Intuition is in the center… you’ve had this unspeakable feeling that you’ll come out on top in the end. It can’t always be so hard. Storms eventually pass. Pain gives away to healing. This pain, whatever it is for you, will be transmuted in your future. Sometimes growth can be painful, but remember this is just a part of the process. Green represents the heart chakra (love, jealousy). Green also stands for nature and growth. The intuition card is the middle, so follow your inner guidance. This is a very transformative era for you and it will not be understood by most.

⊱Pile three⊰ Crystal: Agate (Throat Chakra)

Your road to truth is what will make you successful and happy. To commit to yourself, to commit to unraveling mysteries, and to search for your strongest self… this is the long journey you’re on. No, it is not easy being a Priestess/Priest. Your life has great meaning, your perceived loneliness is not without purpose. Spirituality might be overwhelming you at times, that is your sign to step back and gain perspective. For example, currently there are tons of people obsessed with Manifestation. Obsessed with it to the point they can potentially cancel out their own blessings. Spirituality must be balanced(heart chakra) with practicality. Referring to my Reflection card (throat chakra; logic, honesty and communication) Review your life so far, certain people or situations in your life can act like mirrors that reflect back at you and teach you. What you see can inspire you or you could see something you don’t like. If the latter happens, then you have the opportunity to make changes. Pile 3, you are here to leave a legacy. By name, by word or by blood. Show this world how a rise from the depths looks. In the center, this card represents the Divine presence that is always with you. You are always supported by the spirit world.

⋆Pile four⋆ Crystal: Rose Quartz(Heart Chakra)

Another spiritual pile! The Divine wants to speak through you. Badly. You were born with the connection to spirit, which is why to yourself and to others, you don’t always seem “here”. You’re between two worlds. Our physical one and the spiritual (they co exist, never separated). You’ve had a hard time functioning in this world and it’s structures. That’s because you're meant to be different, you’re meant to gain wisdom from being different and share it. You have a lot of inner wisdom, carried from this life and past lives. People probably think you are an old soul and you are! You're a philosopher by nature. Always looking to learn the secrets of life. You have already found some(Illumination card; Solar Plexus. Self Esteem, Instincts). Discovering new truths isn’t always easy for people to stomach. For example, acknowledging that ghosts really do exist, that would cause a personal crisis for a a lot of people. This is one reason why not everyone sees ghosts/paranormal phenomena. With your knowledge, be gentle with others even when you’re faced with incredulous falsehoods. An example of that would be someone telling you what God approves and doesn't. God isn't some grumpy old man passing judgement on us from above, and you know this but many others are not ready to unlearn what they've been taught. Sometimes, time and experience is the best teacher so remember when someone challenges your beliefs, speak with love. You are the Divine's expression on Earth.

ʚPile fiveɞ Crystal: Lapis Lazuli (throat and third eye chakra)

Come out, you’re hiding the powerful, beautiful, and creative person that is you. You have so many wonderful qualities and talents. Why don’t you give yourself a try? I know you’re afraid of the light because light casts shadow. You’re afraid to be vulnerable to others. Always remember, you only have to show or give that which feels good to you. You have it in you to be successful. Yellow is connected to the Solar Plexus chakra that sits over the stomach. It is associated with the sun, gold, divinity, positivity and self esteem. It also relates to illness or fear. Orange is represented by the Sacral Chakra. With Love being in the center and the tarot cards… my friend, if you can harness that determination in you, that Queen of Wands could very well be you in the future. I could really gush over the strength of this pile! There is a lot of creative energy here, as well. You are a passionate person and not just in a romantic sense. You’re determined to live unabashedly. Show us how to live our truth without shame.

✧Pile six✧ Crystal: Green Aventurine (Heart Chakra)

In the center, Stability and Security. This is your root chakra. This pile comes from unstable roots (no shame). The hungry card isn’t about being hungry for food (but if you are, by all means get a snack!). The hunger card(Solar plexus chakra; stomach. Self esteem, instincts, confidence) is about craving something more. A craving for something that will nourish your soul. A deep wanting for something to fill you mentally, emotionally and spiritually. So, what is it that you desire so much? I am feeling like this pile has big dreams. You have the choice to live in a life imaginary. Pretending, playing make believe, is the first step to making your daydreams into reality. Let yourself play. Laugh at yourself when you trip, you’re a soul in a body that came to explore! Now, the Faith card (third eye chakra; intuition, psychic abilities) isn’t just about having faith in higher powers but it’s more about trusting that no matter what, things will be okay. Life is constantly shifting so just keep working towards your dreams and know that the outcome (Justice card) will lead you exactly where you’re meant to be.

꒰Another general reading has arrived~ This is timeless, btw. It's my birthday month, so I'm celebrating in all ways I possibly can. That's why this pick a card is so colorful. I know things are uncertain, but there is a future. I hope to see you there, smiling.꒱

Remember, no rain... no rainbow ♡ all my love

#tarot #tarot readings #pick a card #pick a card reading #spirituality #divination

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