#like its better than not writing anything or feeling horrible about the uninspired stuff i do manage to force myself to write | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miyoron · 4 years

Text

Miyo’s Anime of the Decade though Actually Just 2019

***Before I start this list, I would like to continue to send out good vibes and hope to all those affected by the Kyoto Animation arson attacks this past summer. It still hurts and I hope things can get better for everyone affected by it, even though I'm sure some things will take a long time to heal, if they ever will. Just know that you will always have me wishing you the best I can and sending out hope for you to recover at your own pace.***

I like writing these things every year. Whether it lets me know if my tastes are changing or staying the same, or if I'm just sentimental, writing about things I like is fun. Anime is good and I like watching it. I watched a good amount of stuff this year even if some seasons I couldn't find anything I say would fit this list.

For example, I started watching the Symphogear series and it's fun but I wouldn't say I liked it as much as any of these shows. Anima Yell is a very cute show but I didn’t have much to say about it, same for Aggretsuko again. I liked the main characters of JoJo part 5, but I wouldn't say I liked watching that, especially as the villain was revealed more and more. Fire Force was fun for me for like 5 episodes or so but then I bailed so take that as you will.

But I don't want to sound too mean here. No, this is for stuff I liked a lot and I wanted to write about things I enjoyed. This year I actually kept track of shows I liked as opposed to figuring out what I'd go on this list at the last moment. Crazy, I know, but this could be a good idea. Don't worry, I didn't take TOO many notes so this will be pretty off the cuff of my head like normal though I'm sure. As always, I will be using whatever title is easier for me to write/preference.

With this bit of text out of the way, let's la GO! In no particular order (as always)...

Mob Psycho 100

This entry counts for both season 1 and season 2. I kind of sped through the first one a little so I could catch up in time for the second one. I feel it stuck with me just as much though. Mob Psycho is a solid action series with very silly things going on in the background of it...and foreground honestly). I suspect ONE is very good at making this sort of series. Honestly though, every character in this show is great and there's so many feel good moments. Mob himself is a wonderful character. The most powerful psychic force in the universe but he just wants to get buff to go out with his crush.

There's a lot to like about this series. The humor is on point and anything with Reigen is going to be hilarious, especially if it takes a while. Animation is consistently top notch, especially in season 2, and I love the psychic effects. They end up looking like an old 90's video filter or trapper keeper or something. However, the most impressive thing this series does is show that maybe fighting isn't the way to do things all the time and that the most important thing you can show isn't just sympathy, but empathy.

Mob is a really good show and both of the OVAs are fun as heck. I dunno why I originally slept on Season 1, but I'm glad I came aboard.

Kaguyasama: Love is War

You probably know this one from that one ending with the pink haired girl dancing, that was going around for a while even though it was only for one episode. This series actually took me a little bit to get into mainly due to being WAY too tired to keep up with it. The set up being that the smartest boy and girl in the most elite high school both want to ask the other out. However, being the one to ask the other out would be to give up all power and admitting defeat. Basically it's a battle of two love struck idiots trying to get the other to ask them out.

As dumb as that sounds, the setups are often hilarious. Seeing the main characters trying to out scheme each other and keep a straight face while watching is a challenge in itself. It's like that 4th dimensional chess but the end result is seeing who will hold the other's hand first. Then throw in the wild card of Chika who seems to both not know what's going on while understanding how easy it is to end up on top in these battles and...look it's very funny ok? Even if sometimes the joke is just "weiner".

Shows that made me tear up count: 1

Kemurikusa

Similar to the Kemono Friends and its big gold star award, I felt like Kemurikusa deserved a shoutout this year. It's still janky like Kemono Friends before it, but after everything that went down with that series, it was definitely telling when this was the better of the two. This is a weird series and only some of that is due to the animation. The studio does a wonderful job of making a world that's both interesting and haunting at the same time. Everything that happens all ties to a big mystery that isn't revealed for quite a while.

The characters are fun enough. From the serious Rin to the caring Ritsu. From the voracious Rinas to the dweeby Wakaba. It's a fun cast going on a road trip throughout the apocalypse as they try to find good water for their big plant friend that drives around their husk of a bus. It can get pretty dark at times even with the neon bright colors the titular kemurikusa shimmering softly in the background. Oh also there's a roomba friend and a girl with sharp teeth so I mean, it's got something for everybody.

Hitoribocchi

This series is a cute little show with a setup which is potentially mean if you think about it. Bocchi's best friend is afraid she won't ever be able to make any other friends since they're going to different middle schools. Because of this, she says they can't be friends again until she befriends everyone in her class. The biggest hurdle to this challenge being Bocchi is horribly shy and socially awkward which just makes things seemingly impossible for her to overcome. Luckily, this is a cute comedy series.

The show is basically about Bocchi trying to make new friends so she can hopefully one day reunite with her bestie from the past. As I said before though, she's kind of bad with knowing how to communicate with people so she has a bad habit of say following friend making tips she read in books or online to a t and not deviating from them. Thankfully she is able to meet with lovable weirdos like blunt Nako, pitiful Aru and ninja girl Sotoka. It's a cute little series that also has a lot of heart, especially if you've ever had to overcome your own social anxieties to interact with others before. It's also funny too so there's a bonus even.

Shows that made me tear up count: 2

Carole and Tuesday

Shhhh. Don't let Netflix know I finished this before they did. Carole and Tuesday is a fun show from the creator of Cowboy Bebop, as evidenced in the fact it takes place on Mars and uses the same currency. It's a fairly simple plot, two girls meet up one day on the streets and start playing music together. One's an orphan who's basically lived alone for most of her life, the other is a rich girl running away from her politician mother (whose politics are a little too close for comfort these days). They just wanna make music man, and with a former big time agent with them, how can they lose!

Carole and Tuesday are fun characters and the show has a fun future sci fi vibe while still being grounded in reality. One of the biggest highlights is definitely the music though with lots of new songs in every episode and a good number of them being certifiable bangers. There's an overarching plot that also hits too close to home at times but the big finale at the end made it all worth it in the end really. This is an easy show to recommend and I am doing so to you right now. Go see these girls trying to make it to the big time!

Shows that made me tear up count: 3

Fruits Basket (2019)

I skipped out on Fruits Basket the first time around. I always told myself I'd go back and check it out but, knowing how I do things, this never actually happened. Part of me is kind of glad I waited to check it out though since I really like the style of the new show compared to the one from the early 00s. What I'm saying is I should have checked this out a lot earlier than I did but I don't feel visually bad for doing so.

Fruits Basket is a show featuring Tohru, the most helpful lovable girl, and a cast of characters who all start to love her because she is the most helpful lovable girl. This might sound like a bad thing but it's not. All of the characters are really fun, save one who I don't know WHY they don't just beat up, and I love seeing all their interactions. I just grew really invested in all of them and keep hoping everything will end up ok for them in the end, while in some cases waiting for a really big shoe to drop and biting my nails in the process.

I dunno if I have a super bunch to say about it other than my favorites are Uo-chan and Hana-chan and I can't wait until part 2 shows up. I am ready to see more of these Zodiac weirdos get hugged by Tohru and become animals and have her solve their problems in that order.

Shows that made me tear up count: 4

....Now, as usual, I will take a break to talk about the Precures I watched this year...

Futari wa Precure

This year, my friend Cheapsteaks and I decided to go after the OG Precure scene by watching the series that started it all. School girls run into fairies being pursued by weird monsters from another dimension/world/whatever and have to become legendary warriors to help them out. It's a story we all know well, just with lots of dropkicks and judo tosses.

As much as I like Honoka and Nagisa, and the opening theme...Futari wa has a lot of growing pains which is to be expected. Being the first one, it feels more like other magical girl series of the time compared to the style of later Pretty Cure series. From the rather uninspired villains, including one named Pissard, to the bland crush of Fuji P-senpai, and especially the obnoxious fairies, this is definitely one of the weaker series in my eyes. Again, it's probably not fair to judge it though since they didn't know what they were doing yet with this series.

That being said, there is a dumb fun to watching the Crunchyroll subs for a nostalgic taste of hard yellow subs and often not great audio. Again, the best parts of this are Honoka and Nagisa and I can see why they still get to be super popular today.

Smile Precure!

The other older series we checked out this year was Smile Precure which is much more my speed. The characters are all really good and they're all super good friends and it just makes me feel good. Like just in general they'rea really good and strong cast and I love all of them. Reika/Cure Beauty is the secret funniest character just by being the straight man on a team of doofuses and it works so well.

Miyuki's desire to make everything around her "Ultra Happy" just makes you feel good seeing a character who just wants others around her to be as happy as she is. All she needs is a smile and that makes me also smile. Akane is fiery and powerful, Yayoi is a big sweetie whose artistic trials and tribulations I SUPER identify with, Nao is a super cool big sister and I already brought up Reika being great. This is really one of my favorite Precures I've watched so far and I'm going to be sad to see it go in a few weeks.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention that I love the stupid villain trio. Especially Akaoni. I love you big red oni doofus. (Please see oni times in the link below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXA5jfSJz_c&feature=youtu.be

Shows that made me tear up count: 5 (ANY NAO EPISODE AAAA)

Star Twinkle Precure

The newest Precure series! One we also dragged fellow anime friend Metalray into and I feel like it was a fun enough one. Cute alien encounters trying to help space zodiac princesses with a fluff unicorn and a tentacalien? Sign me up my dudes. Star Twinkle is a fun series and has a lot of things going for it, while also having weird similarities to Smile sometimes like soccer related attacks from good big sisters and prim and proper arrow girls.

The characters as always really make the show I feel when it comes to Precure and Lala is adorable enough to carry it entirely herself? But the enthusiasm of Hikaru is always fun because it usually just involves her being really into outer space and everything in it. Hey there's even Elena who is Mexican-Japanese and the show even explores a bit of her growing up being different from others so like, that's pretty cool I think? If it helps little kids learn to accept others and be cool through lil hermit crabs and dog space police officers, I think that's a real good thing.

...Now Precure time is over but I'm looking forward to next year's offering and seeing what old ones we go after next. (Spoilers, we will probably do Max Heart and Fresh!)...

How Heavy are the Dumbbells You Lift?

So this series has some problems in that like...wow sometimes during the exercise segments of the show, it just gets way too horny like...I dunno if I needed to see sensei in nothing but a bedsheet to show off how she worked her lats fellas. But I digress.

The main reason this show is on here is because it affected me enough to actually look at myself and start wanting to become healthier? Like the show is just a framing device for jokes and showing off exercise routines but the characters are all really sincere and the translation of the opening is even moreso? Like I feel this show helped me out a lot and I'm gonna let you all know about it cuz maybe it can help you out too if you need it.

I don't have a whole lot more to say but I will leave you with the opening I mentioned. Turn on the captions for this banger and remember that you can do it too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxi2Y4-NNXY

Wasteful Days of High School Girl

Hey, so can I say something amazing? Much like Asobi Asobase last year, this series was a very weird comedy that I absolutely ended up loving a lot in the end. The cast is full of delightful idiots, one aptly named Baka by her friends being the standout moron of the cast. The title pretty much says it all but you will find all sorts of high school girls here just wasting their youth away in their favorite ways.

You want a girl who draws BL doujin while listening to vocaloid tracks? We gotchu. What about a girl who is more invested in micro organisms in Petri dishes than her friends? Yo, we're set. A dipshit chuuni who climbs on top of absolutely anything tall and regularly needs to be rescued/leap out of trees because of it? Yea, that's here too. The show is not afraid to be weird any chance it gets and there's something I can respect about that. This series also had one of my number one laughs in an anime this year in one of the last episodes too and it still makes me laugh as I recall it right now.

Also like Asobi Asobase, it has the plus of having a lovable witch girl who is as pure as she is into weird occult shit. Majo you're a sweetie. Even if your room is creepy.

The Demon Girl Next Door

This show feels like something that should have come out about 5 years ago in terms of animation style, story set up, characters and even the jokes. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing though because not only is it pleasant and cute, it also knows when to step back from teasing its unfortunate main character. Shamiko, the demon girl formerly known as Yuko by everyone who isn't her family, is a kind of pitiful character and this series could easily just make jokes that punch down and humiliate her way more than it did.

Thankfully, the show actually does it's best to show that she is comic relief but also that she is genuinely a good person. She's not very good at being a demon as she is still learning so maybe she gets easily tricked by resident blase magical girl Momo more than she should. However, she will go out of her way to make sure her rival is eating more than the crappy instant food she frequently microwaves. Like I said, it's ultimately a silly, kind of dated feeling series but the character interactions are nice and it's just genuinely good

hearted to see these girls become friends, even if sometimes it's due to trickier. The show makes sure not to be mean at all times to Shamiko compared to say Satania in Gabriel Dropout's treatment, or the snake girl in that Dropkick show I dropped after one episode. Shamiko is good and hopefully one day she will be able to use her demon powers to rule the world so her family can have a bigger, non cursed, budget to live on.

O Maidens in Your Savage Season

Puberty is hard. Puberty is also maddening, wanting to drive you up the wall with new urges you are not used to. Simple joys like trains are replaced with weird videos you order off websites or somehow get from the back of a video store. Puberty is an inherently frantic time but it's also kind of funny if you think about it enough.

Maidens explores the tales of the Literature Club members as they go through this important stage of life and that's the fun of this series. All of the girls are each trying to find out exactly what it is they want out of a relationship. Is it just friendship? Is it Ess Ee Ecks? There's a lot of fun to be had as the series goes on. Whether it be Kazusa trying to get a bit further with a childhood friend, President Rika questioning her stance on relationships being even proper to have in high school or the writing adventures of HItoha going to sex chatrooms, there is a lot of different things going on in this show.

It's got a very good sense of drama as well; there were more than a few episodes where I found myself worried about what would happen next and hoping things would be ok. Niina's arc is very intense and gave me creeper vibes any time her old mentor appeared. The show is very good in general at just showing emotions and none of it felt like it was shoehorned or phony. The writing is top notch and I love all these girls. Puberty is a weird time but...they got this I'm sure.

Here are a couple of other shows I watched that didn't come out this year but enjoyed a lot!

SSSS.Gridman

Thank God Trigger was able to come back from its previous offering to give us Gridman. At first I was afraid that all of its Transformers color scheme easter eggs were just trying to lure me in with a mediocre show. This was not the case because Gridman just rules hard. A sequel/spinoff to the old 90's series, localized here as Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad, this show was a love letter from the creators to the show and other tokusatsu shows in general.

Kaiju appear to devastate the city, shown from low angles that just make it seem even more like you're watching an old toku show. The toyetic nature of Gridman's various powerups and the design of Gridman himself just further pay homage to this. There was one Kaiju for a moment I swear you could see a string operating it (for the record, it was not a string but was in fact part of the Kaiju). It's not just a cheap nostalgic trap though because the animation is superb, the action is top notch and the main theme song just kicks ass. This is a really cool series and if you have any passing interest in toku shows, are a Trigger fan, or like seeing Actionmaster Thundercracker's color scheme, go and check this thing out!

Other highlights include another version of Inferno Cop and Rikka's mom who is always fun and good.

Dirty Pair (TV series)

Dirty Pair is a series I watched a good chunk of before but never actually finished. Thanks to the #DirtyDecempair hashtag though, I finally went and did it and well...Dirty Pair is still really good y'all. It's got space babes who kick ass and are not afraid to go after hunks along the way. Seriously, it's great when you watch a show older than you and it lives up to its hype.

Kei and Yuri are really good characters because they will snipe at each other but in the end, they are still besties and will mess up anything that gets in their way. I appreciate that they always try to get more PTO and pay out of their boss. Even more, I appreciate that the chief will put up with all their shit, whether it be the aforementioned blackmailing for vacation or the sheer amount of destruction they leave in their wake, and still is 100% behind them. He knows they're the best he has and nothing will get in their way.

So yea, Dirty Pair. Still a good show over 30 years later. You should check it out next December! Or sooner, whatever!

That abut wraps up my list of anime I watched this year, but I'm also gonna throw a little bonus round on you! Some anime movies I watched and liked! Lightning round go!

Promare Good fucking movie, good fucking soundtrack. Good Trigger things this year. It lives up to its hype for sure. Go see this when it is out on DVD and Bluray!

Sound Euphonium - Our Promise: A Brand New Day This was a nice movie that felt like a good third season condensed into about 2ish hours.

Love Live! Sunshine!! The School Idol Movie: Over the Rainbow I actually like the music from this one more than the movie itself but seeing Ruby's arc gaining confidence is good and I love it.

Bonus Saint Snow Track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUNNWxK2Dfs

Redline A movie I kept meaning to see and finally did thanks. Stylish and cool as hell, and the dub is really good too.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly They made Broly a compelling character finally, holy shit. Also some good Frieza comedy.

KonoSuba! Legend of Crimson Imagine a village full of dipshit chuuni wizards. This movie was fun and funny as shit. Warning: It does have one awkward joke related to gender but it thankfully passes by it real quick.

So I think this is my list. I hope you enjoy it. The next time you'll see one from me will be in the distant future of 2020! Hopefully things will be cool by that point to go with the good anime.

#MiyosAnimeListISatItAgain

3 notes · View notes

iamwhelmed · 5 years

Text

Win One, Have Two: Chapter 13

Okay, it has been 9 long months and I haven’t updated. For that, oh my god I am so, so sorry. I knew I was feeling uninspired but that’s really no excuse! It’s okay, it’s summer now, so I can focus a little more on writing. Hopefully you guys still have interest ^^’ Anyway,

Here it is on AO3

It'd taken them the better half of thirty minutes to collect what they'd need for what Miss Rose was referring to, for the moment, as a "field trip"- no parental release forms necessary because, as she'd made abundantly clear, "I am the only adult you need to be worried about". Except for Crawford, who spent the fifteen minutes it took everyone else to get ready standing outside smoking a cigar with an unbothered look on his face. Clara was the first of the three students done, and waited next to Crawford with her messenger bag full of supplies slung over her shoulders. She looked to him, and he lazily glanced at her from the side.

"You know smoking is horrible for your lungs, right?"

"If anything's gonna take me out 'for my livin' does, I'm gonna die a happy man knowin' it was my vice."

Clara's lips pursed into a straight line.

The front door creaked open; Hardy stepped out first, unzipping his backpack to slip the dagger through its army green folds. Isaac was right behind him, arching an eyebrow at the very functioning door that he, quite frankly, was surprised was still on its hinges after last night. He frowned and grabbed Hardy's wrist, twisting it around to look at his watch. Hardy remained unbothered, trapping his bag between his legs as he used his other hand to close the zipper the rest of the way, concealing the dagger safe and sound in a multitude of pockets. Isaac huffed through his nose- 5am. Correction, then; the attack happened *earlier this morning. Adrenaline and the primal need to not get his head torn clean off of his shoulders had kept his sleep-addled brain at bay, but now that it had time to process that the world had settled again, it was urging him to rest.

There was a hand at his shoulder. Isaac jumped, but he saw the streak of purple in raven hair and found the nerves of his brain settling. It was just Miss Rose. She caught his gaze and gave him a small smile, soft, though he could tell she was strung a little higher than usual. She brushed by him and turned only to lock the door behind her. "Is everyone ready to go?"

"Yeah," Isaac watched as Hardy slipped his bag onto his shoulders. "So, how exactly are we planning on finding our friendly neighborhood home invaders?"

Rose smiled, this time more like she usually did, bright and reassuring. "Same way I look for spectral artifacts! I let Magnus lead the way!"

Isaac raised an eyebrow, and god help him, he swore the top half of his face was going to get stuck that way someday. "Magnus?"

Crawford took another puff, rounding his lips so that the smoke took on a circular shape. Miss Rose waved it away and gave him a look- the kind wives give their husbands over shoes left at the front door- and he grimaced, but dropped the cigar and put it out with his heel anyway. "Well, don't keep 'em waitin', Rose." Clara moved closer to Isaac and Hardy, eager to get a look. Isaac glanced at her and Hardy, and the looks of curiosity so plainly painting their crinkled noses and furrowed brows. Must be new to them, too.

Rose rolled her shoulders in a semi-committal, but ultimately nonchalant shrug. "Yeah, yeah. I'm just not looking forward to the lecture I'm gonna get." She reached into her back pocket and procured what appeared to be a compass. Small, silver, sat perfectly in the palm of her hand, like it was sculpted especially for her. Her eyes fluttered shut, and Isaac could tell from the small rim of purple aflame under her eyelashes that she'd connected with her spirit.

"What is it this time, Mari?"

Rose opened her eyes, finding beady black staring into the abyss that was her soul- or, rather… maybe staring into the abyss that was her curious nature. It made her good at artifact hunting, maybe not the best spectral partner, though. "Okay, okay. I deserve that. But it's important this time!"

Magnus turned and flew a few feet away, back of his body (a long eel-like tail covered in fur) brushing vaguely against her nose. He looked a lot like a basset hound, one that a particularly squealing-prone Sherlock Holmes fan had dressed in a deerstalker and matching coat for a cute scrapbook. She remembered meeting him the first time, back when she was still greener to the spectral world.

Before she knew that spirits were typically averse to hugs and scritches, no matter how much they looked like a good boy.

Magnus huffed from his throat, gave her a look that only an elderly butler with far too much experience and Magnus himself could level her with. The expectant kind. The kind that dared her to make her case. "So you're admitting you were using me for fun before?"

She abided. "Well no, that stuff was important too, but this is…"

Magnus sighed, the sign he gave her, every single time, to signal he was acquiesce. "What do you need?"

Right, down to business, then. She sobered and stripped her hand of her black glove, holding it out for Magnus to sniff. "There should be a saliva sample on this glove. Can you track it for me?"

He hovered closer, inching his wet nose toward the glove. He sniffed once, then twice, and nodded. He registered the smell, compared it to the large database of scents and stenches he'd picked up on in his near-infinite lifetime. She watched him in silence, but took the moment to slip her glove back on. If she knew Magnus, which she did, then he'd give her a destination, maybe a word for warning. He took a few moments, then did something she hadn't seen him do before. He paused. "This could lead you into Consortium territory, you know…"

"What?" She would have hid the trepidation in her voice, but Magnus had known her too many years for her to play anything cool ever, not that she ever got it by him before. She had a feeling he was a little more a detective than he'd like to admit. Magnus glanced at her with droopy eyes, big ears flopping as he floated in place, like there was an undercurrent breeze that blew from below. "Why?"

"The scent you're handing me matches somebody long lost to the Consortium, I'm afraid. One Catriona Barrett." Rose glanced down at her hand, squeezed her fist around the glove that still had traces of saliva on it. "Disappeared after the Consortium eliminated her lover, which I'm sure you know was a spirit by the name of Emmerich."

"That doesn't make sense. The dagger is perfectly capable of killing humans, but it's just as capable of killing spirits. What would she want with it?"

"A conundrum not meant for me to solve, I'm afraid." Magnus hummed floated away from her, cracking only an eye open to glance at her. He must have seen her frown, because he sighed and momentarily moved closer to her, moved around her in a circle so that his tail could brush up against her cheek and make her nose wiggle. "We were lucky that the dagger was within Cousinhood territory, but you know I'll be leading you-"

"- All over god's creation. Yeah, I know." She smiled his way, gave him a scratch under his chin either to calm herself down or to annoy Magnus. She had no plans to ponder which it was. He glared at her, unamused as always, as he faded from her sight. "I'm afraid that's a risk we're going to have to take."

The compass hovered in mid-air, faintly radiating with the same purple that surrounded herself and Magnus. As the last of Magnus's spirit world faded from view, the compass itself pulsed, like a heartbeat. She held out her hand and waited for it to fall into her palm, cold detailed silver against the fabric of her glove. The pulsing became faster, a more constant stream of vibration until it was buzzing in her hand, meaning Magnus had decided precisely what direction to go in. She nodded south and said "Let's go."

Clara, Hardy, and Isaac glanced to Crawford, who only tipped his hat as confirmation before following closely behind Rose. Hardy exhaled, shoulders slouching as air deflated him like an old balloon. "This should be fun…"

He trudged after Rose and Crawford, Isaac and Clara close behind.

She walked beside Isaac, but he felt her eyes watching him as though they were on his back. He tensed up. "You know, if we pass your hometown…"

He grimaced. "I wouldn't say a word."

He hurried hurried to catch up with Hardy, ignoring the set of eyes that were now definitely watching his retreating frame.

Sewing, as any 18th century woman would tell you, is the cornerstone of femininity. Women practiced the art often, and with the persistence of anybody who had to live their entire life without video games or sports. Sewing also, as any of these 18th century woman would tell you, is a real pain.

Isabel pricked herself for the third- or fourth- time, tried once more to stitch the two pieces of cloth together, and instead decided she'd had quite enough of whatever purgatory she'd found herself stuck in. Sleeping Beauty only had to get pricked ONCE to fall asleep, she'd say that she more than earned a nap. "This is so-!" She flicked her tired wrist around, trying to find the right word. How to best describe the ludicrousness of her current task without lowballing her grievances or insulting her teacher. Ah, yes. That's the right word. "Stupid! This is so stupid! How is sitting here sewing going to save anyone?"

Dimitri glanced up from his sewing job, cool eyebrow raised. Zarei, too, glanced up from her task, reading a book which, comparatively, was a favorable task to whatever this nonsense was. Zarei herself looked bored, but not surprised. She'd most likely been anticipating Isabel's outburst, as was customary once every class. Not every period, no, every class that Isabel had to be subjected to some of the most boring, menial tasks she'd ever had to do for a grade. Zarei's class. "Isabel," Zarei started, and she could already hear the routine disinterest. "In a life or death situation, you may have to temporarily sew and dress or cauterize a wound." She adjusted her glasses and mumbled, in equal irritation, "they wouldn't let me have fire in the classroom, so this will have to do."

"This is a waste of our time!"

Dimitri, as chill as always, lifted one hand, a motion he seemed to carry out every time she had these routine outbursts, as though she was a wild spirit and needed to be tamed and reined in. "Isabel-"

"No! I'm sick of this! The traitor who released those monsters is still out there and we have no idea who they are or what they want!"

Zarei seemed unperturbed, though she shut her book with one snap and set it off to the side of her desk. "Isabel-"

"What are we sitting here sewing for? We're just wasting time-!"

"Isabel!"

She choked, instinctually stepping back as Zarei's hands slammed upon the instructor's desk. This… this was not part of the routine, but she supposed her outburst had been more emotionally-charged than her others had been. Zarei usually took her complaints in stride, even snarked about setting up a suggestions box for Isabel to leave comments in (that way she could dispose of them easier). This time, though, Zarei looked her dead in the eye, unblinking, unmoving. Isabel looked to her left where Dimitri sat at his desk, found his hand still raised cautiously, though it'd moved some to avoid her flaring aura.

Fine.

She growled to herself, sliding back down into her seat, but unwilling to continue stitching. Instead she glared at the two bits of cloth and used the needle to take small jabs at her desk. Zarei wouldn't say anything, would probably just be happy she wasn't complaining. She'd just have to deal with her restlessly squirming in her seat until class was over in another handful of minutes. God, she hoped Max was having a better time.

The gym was larger than the auditorium their Training 101 class typically monopolized. Once the bell had rung and all the class had been seated, when Spender announced that they'd all be transferring to the gym for the day, Max had almost felt the collective sigh of relief that hung like the usual unease in the atmosphere. He glanced at Collin, who had taken to walking the very thin line between the waking world and the unconscious one with his chin rested in his hand, eyes slowly inching shut before they popped open again after a restless three seconds of shut-eye. Johnny sat at his other side, practically bouncing up and down in his seat. Probably the least claustrophobic the psychopath has felt in weeks.

Spender stood at the bottom of the bleachers, raising his hands in a sad attempt to get his large, voluble class to more of a hushed whisper. Because Spender was a quiet man naturally, and passive normally, his voice was lost in the sea of early-morning chit-chat, the kind that was kept in-check by smaller class periods. Max watched with varying degrees of amusement as Spender circulated through every trick in the book to get a bunch of confused, aggravated, loquacious middle-schoolers to shut their overused traps. He first tried to clear his throat. When that didn't work, he tried to drop his teacher's guidebook on the gym floor- when that was stifled and dulled in the vastness of the gym walls, he resorted to yelling at the top of his lungs. That still didn't work, and Max could see the man struggling to figure out how else to reign in a hundred or so students. His calloused hands were clawing at his face, eyes visibly heavy with exhaustion, even behind his shades. When all hope seemed to be lost, Coach Oop set one heavy hand on Spender's shoulder, gave him a pitying look, and got the attention of every student the way only a gym coach knew how- screaming and just being louder than the normal teacher.

Chatter seemed to fade almost instantly, and Spender shot Coach Oop a grateful look.

He cleared his throat as Oop retreated to his office. "Class, today we are going to begin working the physical aspects of your new abilities, rather than your minds." Max could practically feel Johnny vibrating in the seat next to him. He shot the red-head an eye that he ignored entirely. "Now, I've always been more focused on the intellectual end of training-"

"Couldn't tell!"

Spender picked Max out in the crowd immediately, glared at him, and received nothing but a grin in response. "... So I've asked an old master of mine to stand in for me." An elderly man stepped forward, huge and terrifying for being gray in the face. "This is Master Guerra. Say hello, class."

"Hello, Master Guerra…." Roughly a quarter of the class even bothered, and those that did were unenthusiastic at best and downright resentful at worst, clearly not knowing what was ahead of them. Max swallowed hard; he'd heard stories from Ed about Isabel's grandfather, stories that Isabel had commented "didn't even graze the bottom" of just how tough Master Guerra could be. And that was on his granddaughter… what would he be like with kids he had no attachment to? Max felt his spine shiver preemptively at the possibilities. Collin leaned over, now much more awake than he had been two minutes prior, and whispered.

"Hey, is that Isabel's dad or something?"

Max cupped a hand over one side of his mouth so Collin could hear him better. "Grandpa, actually. And probably the embodiment of abuse of power…"

Master Guerra's eyes roamed the crowd, but there was something about his gaze that felt like he was simultaneously singling out every single child in the bleachers. Max had the crazy theory that it was because he was, in actuality, seeing every one of them, judging them, assessing them, what they could do. He clearly didn't like what he was seeing, because he took a step forward and his eyes were no less calculating. "Spineless, each and every one of you. Hardly spectrals, hardly able at all. If you want to be worth anything, you will do as I say, and you will do it the first time!"

The class, silent before, fell deathly mute.

Spender stepped forward, chuckling with a nervous edge as he set one unsure hand on Guerra's shoulder- er, tried to. He decided against it last moment. "Master, these children still hardly understand the concept of tools, perhaps you should tone it down just a little-?"

"You asked for my help. This is what you receive."

"Ah."

Isaac cringed. The little cabin he'd taken shelter in was just as creepy and run-down as when he'd last seen it. Creepier, in fact, now that he'd bled all over its floors.

Crawford stopped at the front door and puffed on the last bit of his cigar. Rose passed him by and reached for the handle, eyes on the compass in her hand. "Should I do it?"

Rose shook her head. "Don't waste the energy yet, Crawford. We know the story here pretty well already." She pressed the door open with a sickeningly loud creak, a sound that made Isaac shudder. "Catriona left this place in a hurry in the dead of night. If we want Magnus to keep her scent, we've gotta find something that will lead us to where she went next."

The group pushed on. Crawford went first, one arm protectively extended in front of Rose, other hand cocked with one of his guns. Rose glanced around, looking for anything that may emit a trace of Catriona's aura, careful to let Crawford open doors. The place should have been abandoned, but the odds of Consortium pawns and antagonistic spirits were a possibility she was unwilling to overlook. Clara clung to one of Hardy's sleeves. They were switching off who was looking out in which direction, leaving Isaac to keep his eyes straight ahead. More of a challenge than it may seem, with the cabin's darkness spanning well past Rose and Crawford. He tried to keep in pace with them, but his legs were shaking and he wasn't sure if it was because he was three different kinds of dead the last time he was here, or if the draft of the run-down walls was getting to him.

Clara edged closer to Isaac, willing herself to feel calmer with somebody on either side of her. "There's so much blood, everywhere…" Her breath hitched and trembled with every word, hot breath running down his neck. Miss Rose looked back and found his eyes. He frowned and glanced away. They made it to the end of the hallway, what Isaac remembered as the bedroom he'd taken residence of that night. He was right; Rose raised the compass and the light of her aura illuminated the very edge of the bedpost, rotting and covered in, what Isaac assumed was probably, more of his dried-up blood.

Hardy's foot made contact with something at his feet, and he leaned forward to pick it up. "Oh hey, a diary!" He said one second. "Ah!" He said the next.

Clara glanced over Hardy's shoulder to see the page he'd opened up to by chance, and stifled the scream she instinctually reacted with behind her interwoven fingers. The page was yellow with age and slick with dust from infrequent use, though it had clearly been handled somewhat recently, the way fingerprints edged the pages. The page Hardy had opened up to, the one Isaac now glanced over Clara's shoulder to see, was covered in nothing but pen- and a lot of it. Frantic. Some unlegible. Dark and as black as a widow drenched in the blackest of inks. Words scribbled next to sketches of spirits, of auras and eyes that seemed to watch from behind the safety of the page.

Why can't he see them

I'm not crazy

Help

Hardy screamed and accidentally tossed the book a foot in the air, only to start juggling it with unsteady hands the moment it came back down, whimpering the whole time. Isaac snorted and held out his hand so Hardy could pass it to him- and he did, by using one juggling hand to smack the book mid-air in Isaac's general direction. Isaac caught the diary by the spine in his open palm, flipping it back open with relative ease. "This is her's?"

Just as soon as he opened it, a gloved hand snatched it from him. Miss Rose grinned and raised to compass to the diary, humming at the confirming buzz of her tool. "This is the next piece in Catriona's puzzle, kiddies!"

Kid after kid lined up in parallel with the bullseyes across the gymnasium floor, each new frontrunner as confused as the last. Guerra and Spender stood to the side, eyeing individual auras as they hit or missed the targets- and they rarely hit. Guerra was grimacing, looking every bit terrifying as Spender felt. He kept switching from watching the students to watching his master, frequent enough to keep an eye on his reactions, but not frequent enough for Guerra (hopefully) to notice.

Max was third in one of the first lines. All the better, in his opinion, for getting this over with as fast as possible. He aimed at the target a few feet away, concentrated. He'd had so much on his mind lately. Isabel, Spender, Ed…. His eyes narrowed as blue crossed his vague vision- the kid next to him, but it was enough. He took one quick breath and took his shot. Black gas, perfectly rounded, perfectly paced, hit the bullseye head-on, nearly knocking it over in a clash of red and white against a crawling web of black that descended over it.

Spender's eyes widened, a small smile inching across his face. He'd been worried that all of the attention he'd had to put into training these classes had denied his original students somehow of the attention he felt was vital to truly learning to hone their new powers, but if Max's spectral shot was any indication-!

"Don't get so excited." Guerra was watching the children still, but Spender could feel the disappointment in him radiating from his drilled eyes. He pretended not to notice. "Spectral shots are child's play. That your student is capable of such a feat places him on par with Isabel at five years of age."

The next group of students stepped up. Max met Collin's eyes on his way back to the bleachers.

Collin looked panicked, gesturing to the targets, then gesturing back to the hands Max was well aware would be unable to conjure up any aura at all, let alone get a spectral shot off. Max winced and shrugged at him. Can't help ya there, man.

Collin got up to the bat and mimed for dear life, found other kids doing the same thing. Each pointed and breathed and stood there waiting for auras that never built and shots that never burned through the distance. They turned to each other, confused, some agitated, some lackadaisical about the whole thing.

Guerra turned to Spender with a glare in his eye, and all he could do was smile nervously and swallow the fear gnawing at his throat like acid.

Nature walks were run-of-the-mill for Master Hashimoto's dojo. Ed never quite got the importance of them, and when he asked for clarification the answer was always "something-something peace" or "something-something tranquility".

Aka, "Something-something Ed isn't interested."

But alas, they were required. Every student in the dojo would wake up at roughly 5am, clothe themselves, then walk a mile-long hike through the woods before they could all return home to feast upon the breakfast Hashimoto no doubt would have laid out for them when they got back. As beautiful as the scenery was this time of year, Ed was far more interested in getting back so he could settle the uncomfortable tugging and gurgling of his stomach.

The start of the day was always the hardest. He knew this. And like always, he'd get through it. That didn't mean he felt like trekking up a mountain of flowers today, though.

He sighed and carried onward, barley giving the beautiful red roses he passed a sidelong glance. Well, he almost didn't. The vibrant red caught his eye, and he fell a few steps behind admiring the way the morning dew dripped from the soft petals.

Red was supposed to be the color of aggression, of hunger and anger and danger, but it was also adventure, passion…

Love.

A laugh he knew better than his own crossed his mind's ear, and he almost hated the way he instantly drew the connections to tan skin and red, so much red. Ed shook his head clear and turned away, transitioning into a light jog to catch up to the rest of his peers. This was crazy, he was being crazy. What that girl said meant nothing. What Dimitri said meant nothing, just people being people and misunderstanding his relationship with Isabel. They were like siblings! She was his best friend! He shook his head clear with finality.

He caught up with the rest of the group with ease, not that it was difficult. It seemed like he was the only one eager to get back to food, because his peers had taken a decidedly slower pace. He'd lightly jogged like an old man who'd just watched his small weiner dog steal his slipper, and still, he'd managed to catch up in about thirty seconds. Ed huffed, shoulders slumping in the way that usually got him a fist upside the head from Guerra and a small scolding from Spender.

"Guys, look! He's letting me feed him!"

One of the other students had paused to bend down a few feet in front of him. A quick side-step confirmed that she'd palmed a nut from the ground, and that a small squirrel had taken interest in it. A few other students coo'ed and some bemoaned not having their phone to take a picture. Ed felt himself smiling despite his grouchy mood. The squirrel was, after all, pushing the boundaries of cute. Big beady eyes, tail twitching, head tilting as it tried to communicate with his fellow student in a language it didn't know she didn't understand. Part of his heart, which he found had somewhat frozen over the last few weeks, melted on the spot. She opened up her palm, and the squirrel readily sprinted for it, pausing on her fingers to test the nut and see that it was real. Chestnut brown fur, spots of darker hair that looked black in the early morning sunrise-

-- brown eyes under long lashes, squinting with mirth as he made her laugh, his favorite sound in this world and the next.

Ed froze mid-thought, eyes widening so much he thought they would fall out of the sockets. He'd done it again, the same thing he'd been doing the past- how long had it been? Too long! Too long for this to still be a problem! Ed took several deep breaths, one hand pressed to his chest as he hyper-ventilated, or something close to it. He was just tired, that's all. He was busy a lot of the day training to become a man worthy...of… his mind trailed off again, and Ed felt his hands tearing his hair straight off of his head before he even registered the deep-seeded hand that felt like it was tugging twenty different chords of his heart.

I do not like Isabel! I do not like Isabel! I do not like Isabel!

"Get out of my head!"

There was a silence around him, and he couldn't help but think that it was a little odd, considering all the cute-animal-fawning that'd been happening a few seconds ago. He opened his eyes, which had been screwed shut in his agony, to find his entire class staring at him. Even the squirrel, which had been so content with its nut before, had turned its curious eyes on him as if waiting for an explanation. Ed blinked. "I yearn for the sweet embracing heat of my gaming console."

His peers seemed to shrug it off, nod, mumble "yeah, yeah that sounds about right".

#Paranatural #Isaac O'Connor #Isabel Guerra #Maxwell Puckett #Edward Burger #Richard Spender #Pnat #Edsabel #Maxaac #Imaax #Hardy Deering #Clara Appleby #Miss Rose #Crawford #The Monster Trilogy #WOHT

8 notes · View notes

ravel-puzzlewell · 7 years

Text

I want to pre-face this long rant by saying I was not expecting some masterpiece of writing from me:a. I’ve once seen a reviewer compare Mass Effect to Fallout 2 and, honestly, it’s ridiculous. You don’t compare pulp prose to philosophical science fiction, they are made for different purposes and engage you differently. Mass Effect was always a soap opera with messy plot and cool one-liners and it’s okay. So I’m only looking at me:a at it’s own merits - as an open world RPG and Mass Effect game.

- actual protagonist of the game is your AI. sorry for spoilers I guess? You really don’t matter, you’re only there to carry your AI to the place where it needs to do it’s thing. You just do whatever it tells you to do. It’s all would be a lot more effective if they just gave AI its own body, like they did with EDI in me3. You don’t solve problems, your AI does. Whatever little decisions you get to make usually are not well-informed, so you just pick whatever with only cosmetic consequences. At the end of the game, they try to, um, solve it, by magically, out of nowhere, giving you ability to hack ancient machines without your AI. With your sheer willpower, I guess? But no one else can? It’s really hard, bc your nose bleeds! Really, really bad writing.

- This game about discovering new galaxy has no feeling of discovery. That sounds weird and impossible even, but they’ve managed it with a simple trick - all that changes from planet to planet is the climate. The actual places you’re going to visit on locations are absolutely the same - remnant base, kett camp, generic house structure #1 and #2,... that’s it. Once you’ve been in one remnant vault, you know what’s you’re going to see in all others. I’m not talking about them having same maps, but same structure - empty dark halls with glowy green lines, lots of same enemies, activate the consoles mindlessly until the game throws sudoku puzzle at you and then you’re done. There’s nothing new or interesting to discover! When you learn what’s the gimmick is going to be on a new planet, you know pretty much everything about it without even exploring. Cold planet? Everything is covered in snow, same buildings. Desert planet? Everything is covered in sand, same buildings. Good for you if you really liked these same empty buildings, I guess.

There are should be unique, interesting places on every planet that you can only see there and nowhere else and that you can meaningfully engage with. When I saw the wreck of a giant remnant ship on the Dune-rip off planet, I was excited. I thought it’s going to be something new to actually explore and discover shit there! Nope, it’s the same remnant base you’ve seen 100 times already, and you don’t even do anything interesting there. It’s like they went out of their way to not do anything creative and engaging. The Dune robot sandworm? Just cosmetics, can’t actually fight him, doesn’t have a quest, despite NPCs constantly talking about how you’d be crazy if you tried to hunt it. Let me fucking hunt that thing! These cool beasts flying in the skies on Havarl? Put some ancient temple there where you can summon them and, idk, fly on them or something. How cool would it be? If you’re ripping off Avatar, then why stop halfway and not take all actually cool stuff?

Worldbuilding. Listen. It’s an entire new galaxy. They could do literally do ANYTHING. Aliens made of crystals, or really weird cyborgs, or sentient plants, or shapeshifters, or beings of pure energy, or ANYTHING. And all they’ve come up with are the most generic grey bad guys and most well-known Star Wars tentacle-heads rip-offs? Come on, bioware, make a fucking effort!

Kett are so boring, I don’t even want to talk about them in detail. “They change other species into becoming monsters and then send them back to fight their own people!�� Excuse me, I believe I played that game? It was called Mass Effect 3? Kett are literally just Reapers rip-off concept-wise, and, well, all their “culture” has to offer is “religious zealots.” Groundbreaking.

So the only real new race that you can meaningfully interact with and explore that we get is angara. And they have exactly one gimmick about them (and we’ll get to that gimmick itself later) But Ravel, you could say, one gimmick for the entire race is exactly how original mass effect species were designed too! Yeah, sure, but there’s one big difference. There were more than 10 alien races in original mass effect! Some of them were distinctly weird and non-humanoid. Volus, elcor, hanar, etc. Each of them was characterized by one cliche, but because they were all mixed up together, you really could get a sense of diverse, big galaxy. And in me:a we don’t even have most of the original species! Only asari, turians, salarians, krogans, and all of them we already know. So the only *new* race to explore is angara, and they are not even that interesting to explore? Weirdly, all stuff about their culture and religion and whatnot is hidden in side-quests, which you can skip or just miss said details because you yawned. Their culture is, weirdly, not integral to your interaction with them. And even if you do discover these details, they are not so great or interesting or original. They certainly can’t compensate for the lack of any other aliens to interact with. If you put one single culture in the setting to explore for the players, you better make sure it’s a damn interesting and unique one, like the dunmers in Morrowind. Angara just end up feeling… bland.

And their gimmick is… ugh… is that they are really in touch with their feelings. And it’s illustrated precisely by nothing. Like, one time Jaal is excited about some minor plot victory and the game basically forces you to say “um why are ur so happy?” And he’s like, let’s celebrate minor achievements even before accomplishing our goal, we angara are so in touch with our feelings! Like… no offense, I don’t hate that guy or anything, but you can swap his model with a human one and get rid of him saying that he’s so ~alien, and no one will be able to tell something is up with him. He’s just an emotional guy, ok, though the game also doesn’t really show you him being emotional, it just TELLS you. Literally, he keeps referencing to the feelings situation in every goddamn conversation. First of all, for him it should be a norm, he should see humans as weird and restricted instead of angara as so ~open with emotions~. Secondly, it seems like no other angara got the memo about their “in touch with feelings” gimmick.

- The plot. It’s predictable and average and a plot-holey mess overall, but again, the plot in ME games was always messy and plot-holey. I feel like the main problem is the quality of writing. The dialogues are just badly written, from both sides - NPCs are boring and your responses are often just saying the same thing with slightly different tones. Most of the time the option to say what you want to say is just not there, and instead there are two options that are absolutely identical and pointless. And a lot of times the “full” line has, like, nothing to do with short version on dialogue wheel, or short version is really vague and you have to guess wtf it’s going to mean, which does not help you connect with your PC at all. And it’s where the horrible animation backstabs the game, because what you end up with is two uncanny valley dummies grimacing through generic uninspired dialogue without your real control when it’s supposed to be emotionally engaging and cinematic.

#rave party in space #andromeda spoilers #andromeda critical

14 notes · View notes

jordoalejandro · 6 years

Text

The Seventh Annual List of Movies I Saw the Past Year

Boy, let me tell you, I saw some movies this year.

And here they are, all the movies I've seen that have come out since-ish the last Oscars ceremony (2/26/17), ranked into a neat little list.

40. All Nighter - I didn’t hate this movie or anything, but there’s definitely not enough comedy or story to really be worth it. You sorta get the idea pretty quickly: an unmanly guy pairs up with his ex-girlfriend’s manly dad and the odd couple goes on an adventure from place to place. The problem is, every place they go, nothing really funny or unique or particularly entertaining happens. The characters don’t have a ton of interesting growth. There are subplots and side characters that don’t add anything. J.K. Simmons delivers a few good, sarcastic one-liners, but that’s about it for the whole thing.

39. Roman J. Israel, Esq. - This film doesn’t really go anywhere because it seems like it doesn’t know where it wants to go. It feels like it wants to be a legal drama and a morality tale and a societal commentary and a thriller (plus, it includes a romantic subplot) but it just kinda rolls along, not committing to anything, not even, really, a story. I was about an hour in when I checked the time and realized: I have absolutely no idea what this movie is about. And I don’t mean thematically. I couldn’t put into words a summary of the plot at that point. (I'm honestly not sure I could put into words a summary of the plot at this point, either.) It gains only slightly more minimal focus in the back half but the film as a whole never achieves any sort of traction. Denzel Washington saves the movie from being a complete loss by being compelling, as always, but otherwise, there’s just a lot of surface level dramatic ideas and not much else.

38. Baywatch - I will say it at least has a couple of good laughs, maybe even a few more than some of the other comedies higher on this list, but it doesn't have nearly enough to make up for its shortcomings. The story is generic and its connective tissue is fairly weak -- you just kind of hop around from one thing to the next. The whole thing comes off more like a loosely stitched together series of skits and vignettes than a cohesive story. The humor is often uninspiring or just plain cheap, lowest common denominator stuff, and it rarely feels organic to the plot. The character motivations are unfocused. The action isn't really clever or well-directed. To me, at least in terms of writing and filmmaking, this just read like a lazy, lazy movie.

37. The Florida Project - I don’t care for Dead Poets Society. I find it overdramatic and dull, but whenever Robin Williams shows up, he gives a little life to the movie and sparks my attention enough to keep me going. That’s Willem Dafoe in this movie. He’s the almost-saintly manager of a motel who cares far too much about his tenants, many of whom often don’t deserve his level of patience. He's the best part of the film, or at least the most bearable part, but he’s on screen only every now and then. The majority of the film is following rambunctious children around as they try to make the best of their dreadful, near homeless situation. It's not that I hate kids, but I just don't find everything children do to be delightful. Quite frankly, I found these ones annoying. And if you don't buy in and want to spend time around these energetic tykes as they spit on cars and eat ice cream and burn down abandoned apartment buildings, then you're not in for a good time, especially because the rest of the film is about the harsh realities of being an addict caught in a cycle of inescapable poverty while caring for a child you can barely support. On the bright side, the film looks great, and it does have a very natural feel to it that leads to, at times, some good performances (though it also leads to some scenes where you are starkly reminded that this is still, with the exception of Dafoe and a couple of scenes with Caleb Landry Jones, a cast full of very novice actors at work). The movie feels like it's trying to evoke empathy for its characters, but for me, the whole thing was just exhausting.

36. Rough Night - The film moves well, at least -- it doesn't ever really feel like it's lagging -- but there just aren't a ton of laughs here, and it's not like the story is incredibly original either. Honestly, the funniest scene actually happens in the middle of the end credits, which isn't a good sign, but at least I was laughing out loud at something. The movie's entertaining enough to get through but still not great.

35. Their Finest - The first of three British films I saw this year revolving around the Dunkirk evacuation. It's fairly slow and not very funny for what is, ostensibly, a comedy-drama. Also, there's a very strange act three choice that doesn't ruin the movie, per se, but does cast a weird shadow over all the proceedings. This all sounds bad. It's not as bad as what I just wrote about it. There's some stuff to like in here. It's just not good either. It's... okay.

34. Going in Style - A serviceable heist comedy. It’s well put together. Flows fine. The humor isn’t particularly sharp and the story follows pretty predictable beats. There’s just nothing really spectacular or unexpected about it. Everything just feels sort of phoned in, making it feel fairly unnecessary as an exercise. I caught it on HBO, which is a fine place for it. You’re flipping around, you come across it, you can waste 90 minutes being mildly entertained and then immediately forget about it.

33. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword - Guy Ritchie’s energetic filmmaking is able to make even nonsense stories at least watchable (though I felt some of the action scenes relied far too much on CGI and became cartoony). And the story is pretty much nonsense. It's filled with a lot of dull mystical stuff that doesn't add enough mystique to really be worth it. I know Merlin and all that magic is part of the Arthur legend, but it's not like this film is a faithful execution of the old lore anyway. Ditching that stuff and going a more grounded route might've helped, or at least allowed the story to be streamlined a bit. Another way to help the story might be to drop some of the film's many side characters, none of which are compelling enough to truly stand out, and developing some of the remaining ones better. But really, at the core of it, there just isn't a strong enough plot here. The good guys and the bad guys run around, and fight, and run back, and fight some more. It feels like it might possibly be going somewhere but then it sort of peters out and ends. Like this review.

32. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales - It's not horrible, but definitely the weakest entry of the series. The directing and writing are just not up to par. The dialogue and humor often felt forced, and there were a lot of unnecessary plot elements. The film looked great, but the action sequences were not as crisply directed as I’d like, doing a poor job of establishing and tracking action and relying too heavily on CGI. Also, sadly, the Captain Jack Sparrow character is starting to feel like diminishing returns a bit. He was such an enthralling character when we first met him, but now, five movies in, he doesn't have the same life to him. (It doesn't help that Johnny Depp seems to be sleepwalking through things at this point.) There’s still some inventive stuff here, and fun locales, and the film is entertaining enough as a whole, but it's just not as good as you want it to be. The world that was established in the first entry of this franchise was so great, with tons of potential in it. I wish it could get back there and tap into it.

31. Fist Fight - This was funnier than I thought it was gonna be. The story doesn’t work great but the film still flows based on its performances. Most of the heavy lifting is done by Charlie Day -- who can seemingly elevate and sell any quality of comedic material with his physicality and energy -- though Ice Cube turns in a solid performance as the no-nonsense counterbalance, and Jillian Bell and Tracy Morgan, who have smaller supporting roles, add something each time they're on screen, too.

30. Downsizing - An interesting idea in search of a better film plot. The setup is clever -- it raises a lot of fascinating hypothetical questions -- but then the story wanders. It touches on a lot of other subjects that could be interesting in their own right (the inevitability of class systems in utopias, abuses of new technology, end of the world vaults) but have very little actual connection to the idea of downsizing itself. Reading a synopsis of the back half of the movie sounds like the first draft of a better end product film. Like, imagine an alternate universe where Downsizing is a really good movie, getting awards and such, and I tell you, "Did you know in the first draft there was a whole plotline where he meets a political refugee and they travel to Norway and there's all this stuff about a doomsday vault?" and you'd say, "Oh, wow, that's weird. I'm glad they changed that and Downsizing became the beloved film we all know and love." And I say, "Yeah. It was good catching up with you. I like talking about behind-the-scenes facts of popular films of the time." And you say, "Agreed. We should talk again soon," and we go our separate ways but we don't really talk again for months. I mean, you know how it gets with our schedules. Who really has the time? ... Anyway, Hong Chau, though her character is the aforementioned, strangely included political refugee, does excellent work with her role, bringing humor, strength, and some real depth to it.

29. Handsome Devil - A decent, charming, coming-of-age story with some good cinematography, fine music choices, solid acting, and a few laughs. The story is a little too formulaic, though. It treads on familiar ground without offering too many surprises, and comes to something of a flat ending. It also felt a little rudderless at times. It could've used some more focus, especially in terms of some character motivations.

28. Snatched - Though the plot doesn’t offer many surprises, it’s entertaining, with a handful of laugh out loud moments. Goldie Hawn is great, delivering that combo of sweet and funny that reminds you why she was one of the biggest comedic actresses in the world for a while there. Amy Schumer gets a few laughs herself and there’s a good supporting cast here (namely, Wanda Sykes, Joan Cusack, and Ike Barinholtz) that made this an enjoyable watch.

27. Darkest Hour - The second of three British films I saw this year revolving around Dunkirk (you might be able to guess what the third one is going to be), and boy, was this film verrry British (read: dry). Still, it's shot well -- some shots look like beautiful paintings -- and it's better and more entertaining than it deserves to be seeing as it mostly feels like a vehicle to showcase Gary Oldman’s acting. He does an excellent job, though I think he's aided tremendously in some scenes by makeup and prosthetics. I say some scenes because I found myself waffling on his look. Half the time, he looked like Winston Churchill, the man himself. Other times, it very much looked like Gary Oldman in an Austin Powers Fat Bastard suit. Chalk it up to lighting and camera angles in certain scenes, I guess, but it often pulled me right out of the movie.

26. Kong: Skull Island - Visually interesting, though not wholly interesting as a story. It's sort of a paint-by-numbers, people-dying-on-a-monster-filled-island film, not dissimilar from the first two-thirds of Peter Jackson's 2005 King Kong, except John C. Reilly is in this one, delightfully reprising his role from Step Brothers (he's the best part by far and makes the movie worth it almost by himself). One thing the film does that made it sit a little weird with me was make nearly all of the characters good people. They're a mostly likable bunch, and, at worst, confused about their horrible situation -- John Goodman and Samuel L. Jackson are the de facto human villains, but they never feel like bad guys enough to root against them -- so it's less than enjoyable watching them die horribly. (Toby Kebbell's character is particularly, almost pointlessly tragic). I know it's weird saying I want less character development in a film, but if these characters are meant to be fodder, then less is more. Giving them depth doesn't make me root harder for them -- I'm always going to root for humans to not be eaten -- it just makes me more depressed when they're inevitably torn apart by birds.

25. John Wick: Chapter 2 - I feel about this one the way I felt about the first one: a few cool world elements, not really any story to speak of, and some really well choreographed and shot action sequences. Which is all to say: John Wick: Chapter 2 is a fine sequel. The problem is, without story, you can kind of just watch all the action scenes on YouTube and not really miss anything. This isn't to trash the film. It knows what it's here for and it does it exceptionally well, but for me, without a strong story to go with it, it's never going to be in my upper echelon of action films.

24. The Shape of Water - The film looks great, features a wonderful score and some excellent acting, and has just enough humor to carry me through the very silly story. Listen, here's the problem: if you don’t quickly buy into the woman/fish monster romance and feel for the two characters, then the movie becomes ridiculous. In part because it’s all very silly, and in part because I don’t think it was presented well enough. By the time Sally Hawkins' character is making her grand plea for love, I just haven’t seen enough happen in the relationship to accept that she’s head over heels for a fish monster. I know you shared some eggs, but... dude's a fish monster, girl. It crazy to type that out, but that's the bar the film had to clear to continue on with its story, and, for me, I don't think it did. The movie's still enjoyable, but more in a “what the hell is going on” kind of way than a "this is a romantic masterpiece" kind of way.

23. Table 19 - Surprisingly decent. The comedy isn’t particularly sharp (though there are a few good laughs) and the drama is a little overwrought (though there are some touching scenes), but the movie as a whole is sweet and easy to watch. There’s some good character stuff here and really solid acting from all the leads, most especially June Squibb, who brings such easy, natural likability and vulnerability that you can’t help but feel fondness for her.

22. Logan - Hey kids! Remember Wolverine and Professor X, your favorite X-Mans? Beloved characters you've known and grown up with for the last two decades? How'd you like to watch them suffer for two hours? What? Why are you crying? We all die. More often than not, sad and alone. Why are you crying harder? ... Look, there's a lot to like here, including some interesting ideas about legacy and what being a hero means, and some decent action (though a lot of it is repetitive - a problem the Wolverine movies have all suffered from), but there's just so much misery. I get that it's a modern western about the gunfighter's last fight and that those don't end happy for most involved, but I don't know if these characters deserved such a glum farewell.

21. Kingsman: The Golden Circle - It's fun, just not as fun as the original. Maybe there was something surprising or exciting about the first one that made it work better than this one, or maybe it was just better overall in terms of story, directing, and originality. The action scenes felt even more CGI-y and less grounded, less clever, and sometimes less necessary or organic to the plot. And the plot wasn’t as tight or investing. As a whole, it just didn’t match up. That's not to say it was bad, just slightly disappointing. Bringing back Colin Firth was a great idea though. His charm and presence is, I believe, really the core of this franchise, and his absence would have left a large hole in this film.

Okay, documentary break before we hit the top 20.

Long Shot (IMDb link, which contains some spoilers right at the top of the page) is surprising, emotional, a little funny, and overall, a stunningly good documentary about a man charged with a crime he claims he didn't commit and the lawyer who works to clear his name. If you don't know about the interesting turn it takes about midway through, don't look it up, don’t watch the trailers, don’t click the link above. Just go into the film blind. It’s more fun that way. It's short (only 40 minutes), watchable, on Netflix, and worth the time.

Break over. Back to the list.

20. The House - The plot isn’t as fully baked as it could be and that prevents it from becoming a truly good film, and while it has a lot of funny scenes and moments, it doesn’t follow up enough to keep any kind of real comedic momentum throughout. I’m a big fan of the three leads (Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, and Jason Mantzoukas), however, and I’d watch them and the solid supporting cast do just about anything for 90 minutes. You put them in front of a camera and they’ll find something funny to do on screen, as they often do here.

19. Star Wars: The Last Jedi - At one point in the theater during the film, I leaned over to my brother and whispered, “This is the strangest Star Wars film I’ve ever seen.” I think I still stand by that. (And, considering the history of this franchise, that’s saying something.) The Last Jedi is such a weird Star Wars film in that there’s so much going on. There’s the classic Star Wars stuff done really well (your space battles and lightsaber battles and what have you). Then there’s like, by my count, maybe four or five new things added to the Star Wars lore, and each one, while they make sense if you stop and think about it after the film, is at least temporarily jarring in the middle of things. I mean, I try not to get too into the weeds with all the canon and such, but there are certain things we've come to learn from all the movies we've seen up to this point that when you just throw in a bunch of these new rules to the universe... I don't hate it. And maybe my reaction to it will improve on repeated viewings. I'm just saying that each time it happened in the theater, it pulled me out of the movie. So, you've got the good stuff and the weird stuff going on in this film. Then there's the just plain bad stuff. And there's a decent amount of it, too. For one, the entire casino subplot is ridiculous, feels pointless, and has an irresponsibly high count of goofy CGI characters. It's almost prequel-level bad. But the main plot itself is somewhat ridiculous: the idea that the entire Resistance's plan after things go awry is to slowly, defenselessly roll away through space for a very long time hoping to not get attacked is nuts. What's more nuts is that it works. There's no real reason the bad guys wouldn't have sent in some waves of fighters to wipe them out, or, I don't know, taken their giant ships and gone around? It's not a one lane highway. It's space. There's room. Conflict within the Resistance comes from a strange place, too. Laura Dern's Vice Admiral Holdo is cagey about her plans for no real reason when there’s only like a hundred members of the Resistance left, which would seem like a good time to drop all pretense and just get everyone on the same page. Oh, also, here's another insane thing: the aforementioned casino plot falls apart and leads to the near wiping out of the Resistance because the characters double parked. Search your memory of the film's plot. You know it to be true. The Last Jedi feels sort of like it was written by one of those fans who has a dedicated YouTube channel of Star Wars theories, who loves the series but has wildly differing and/or new ideas about how things should work, and who then gets hundreds of millions of dollars to make his dreams reality. (It even weirdly feels in conflict with ideas from its direct predecessor, The Force Awakens, which leads me to believe this new trilogy was only lightly outlined ahead of time, which makes me worry tremendously about Episode 9, but that's for another day and not entirely on the shoulders of this film.) Listen, all this being said, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed some of the new things and some of the continued things. And the film looks and sounds fantastic. It just had problems. And, on a grand scale, well... it was strange, man.

18. The LEGO Batman Movie - I’ve always enjoyed the LEGO video games because they’re light-hearted fun and generally work as sort of parodies/meta-commentaries of big franchises. The LEGO Batman Movie absolutely works on that level. It’s well written: funny and somewhat insightful. It's well acted, too. Will Arnett, Ralph Fiennes, and Michael Cera all turn in great voice work performances. That said, here's a maybe unpopular opinion that sure makes me feel old: the LEGO movies are way too noisy. I don't care for the animation style. There’s so much color and fast movement that it’s very hard for me to really focus on these films without feeling like I’m about to get a seizure. I like the various pieces that go into these LEGO films (writing, voice acting, and such; pun absolutely not intended) but I find I don't like them as much as a whole because of that animation style.

17. Get Out - I'll just get this out of the way at the start: I'm not one for horror movies. I don't care for them. I don't like the feeling of being tormented for an hour and a half. I don't understand why people pay money to get that feeling. Get Out is more psychological horror, for sure, but even the few jump scares/violin screeches was more than I care for. Still, I powered through because this was an expertly done, tightly written psych horror film with bits of humor and social commentary. I'm glad I saw it. I don't want to watch it again.

16. Logan Lucky - Steven Soderbergh makes interesting films. Even if there are issues with the story, what you're getting from the film in shot composition, cinematography, editing, music and all that: it's interesting. The movie isn't perfect. The story isn't as tight as, oh, let's say, something like Ocean's Eleven, and it gains and loses its momentum a few times. But it's clever, and funny, and has a few pretty good surprises up its sleeve. Overall, entertaining, and it'll scratch that itch for a good heist movie that you get every now and then.

15. I, Tonya - An excellent, tragic, dark comedy. Fascinatingly directed: quick cut, stylish, constantly breaking the fourth wall, and told almost like a sports documentary with dramatic recreations. And because it’s framed like this, it becomes a fun example of the unreliable narrator (or, in this case, three narrators), plus a really captivating way to do a biopic while skirting some the clichés of the genre. Margot Robbie, Sebastian Stan, Allison Janney, and Paul Walter Hauser all deliver strong performances.

14. Wonder Woman - Far and away the best DC Extended Universe film, on par with some of the early Marvel films. It's a pretty good origin movie, bookended by a sloppy DCEU tie-in. Some bits and pieces of the story don't work very well -- most of the attempts at comedy feel forced and unnatural, and there are some subplot threads involving her group of war buddies that are touched upon and then completely forgotten -- but the plot is otherwise solid. The film looks good and sounds great, too. The fantastic "Is She With You?" theme from Batman v Superman by Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL returns here, sampled by Rupert Gregson-Williams and expertly employed during the excellent World War I battle sequence. The action in that sequence is done especially well -- it really is the high point of the film -- but the action in the rest of the movie doesn't match up as well for me. The final battle against the big bad in particular was sort of a letdown. Wonder Woman suffers from the same problem a lot of the action scenes in the DCEU films do: overuse of CGI, creating characters that feel way too cartoony and light. Now, if you'll indulge me even more than you already have for a second, I'm going to tell movie executives what they should've done. Man of Steel -- without getting into a discussion of the quality of that film -- should have been the first DCEU film, to establish the tone and style. Wonder Woman should've been second, to reintroduce us to this character and lay some groundwork for her arrival in the big crossover film to come. The third film should've been a Batman/Suicide Squad story, which would introduce this universe's version of Batman without being another standalone film entirely about Batman, and would lay some more groundwork for the crossover. Also, this film, unlike Suicide Squad, should be a good film. That's important, too. Now, after you've finally introduced Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman, you can do your big Batman v Superman film, which doesn't even mention The Flash, Cyborg, or Aquaman (or, like, just a post-credits sequence, if you must). Hell, if the Joker in the Batman/Suicide Squad movie is well received, maybe he can even factor into the plot of BvS. Maybe he's even the villain? Creating chaos and causing the heroes to turn on each other fits well with the Joker's style. You could even still introduce Lex Luthor, planting the seeds for his inevitable evil turn as the villain in a later team-up film. Listen, we're just pitching ideas here. No bad ideas. Then you do a Flash movie, an Aquaman movie, a Cyborg movie, and follow that up with Justice League (which, as you might be able to tell from its lack of inclusion on this "Movies I Saw" list, I haven't seen yet, but which was met with such a resounding meh I'm not feeling super confident about). In this new version, Lex Luthor's been stewing in crazy since the events of BvS and unleashes his master plan. Better round up the team! See? Someone give me billions of dollars and creative control of one of the most valuable intellectual properties in the world. I got this! ... Sorry for hijacking this review of Wonder Woman to rant about the DCEU, but this is the only movie I saw this year from it and I had to get some thoughts out.

13. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - A darkly comedic, powerful movie about the pain of unresolved grief and the pain misguided anger from that grief can lead to. It does draw a little too much humor from the easy well -- like, too many jokes at the expense of Peter Dinklage’s height -- but it’s generally smartly written. Really, what this is is a movie that isn’t interested in painting any of its characters as black or white, providing a showcase for some really talented actors to portray characters with some depth and gray areas. Frances McDormand is a powerhouse, and Sam Rockwell and Woody Harrelson are getting their much deserved recognition, but Peter Dinklage, Lucas Hedges, Caleb Landry Jones, and Samara Weaving also turn in really great supporting work.

12. Black Panther - First of all, this film has some of my favorite production design of any film this year. The costumes, the sets, the hair and makeup: all fantastic. Wakanda feels like a real, lived-in country. It's very cool. I also love the use of music in this film, from the licensed songs to the score, it sets a great tone. As for the movie itself, I really liked the story, but I do feel like it was let down by its action sequences. The casino scene and its ensuing chase was excellent. It was well choreographed and clearly shot. But almost every other action scene didn't live up to that one. The others were overly dark, or made too frequent use of close-ups making them sometimes incomprehensible. The final fight between Black Panther and Killmonger -- aside from being dark and hard to follow, especially because both characters are similarly costumed -- was reminiscent of the poorly done, overly CGI'ed DCEU fights I've railed about before (like on this list a few spots ago). Also, while I think the film did a good job of surrounding Black Panther with a lot of unique, interesting side characters and villains, it didn't give him enough personality. He's sort of the emotional baseline of the piece, never really wavering too much, while more exciting character stuff happens around him. (Here's a quick list of characters upstaging Black Panther in his own movie: Killmonger, Nakia, Okoye, Shuri, M'Baku, and Klaue.) It's not the worst decision, allowing the supporting cast breathing room for growth, but I do wonder if perhaps he could've been given a little more to do.

11. The Post - Steven Spielberg got me again. I've been hesitant about most of his recent directorial pieces, namely Lincoln and Bridge of Spies, but like those two, The Post won me over. Well written, well directed, superbly acted by the whole cast and, in particular, Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks, who really shine in this. If I have any gripe, it’s that sometimes the film, through writing or filmmaking choices, is just too blunt in showing off its themes of female empowerment or importance of a free press. We get what the movie is about. We’re watching it.

10. Call Me by Your Name - This was a very European film in that not much really happens and there’s lots of long shots of people riding bicycles and scenes of people chatting at the breakfast table and one of the biggest dramatic beats is a character getting a nosebleed. Which is all to say, it’s a really well-made film, very understated and beautifully done, but if you’re not able to get invested in a methodically paced, European, gay, romantic coming-of-age film, you’ll find yourself struggling through the two hours. I got invested and found myself enjoying it, even if just for the scenery and acting. And the film is well acted all around. Timothée Chalamet is fantastic, basically carrying the film on his shoulders, expressing subtle emotions or vulnerabilities often without even saying a word. Michael Stuhlbarg does excellent work in a supporting role, providing a sort of quiet, gentle presence through most of the film and then delivering a stunning, heart-wrenching monologue near the end that takes your breath away. Armie Hammer does very well in his role, but, to be honest, he feels miscast. His character is supposed to be 24, only slightly older than Chalamet's Elio and with only those handful more years of wisdom, but Hammer feels too much an adult. Social Network era Hammer might have been able to pull it off, but current day Hammer is unmistakably a grown man who oozes confidence without really trying, and it’s hard to fully buy into him in this role, even if he does a great job with it. You can perhaps chalk it up to the movie being told through Elio’s eyes, and in his view, Hammer's Oliver is that full grown man, but I think I still might’ve preferred a different actor for the role. This is a film for a very niche audience but that audience will love it. And I will add this: similar to last year's Manchester by the Sea, even if this isn't the best movie of the year, it's had some staying power in my brain. I'll find myself thinking about things that happened in it, or moments from it will pop back into my mind every now and then, more so than most of the films I've seen this year. What does this mean? Well, for one, it means this has moved higher up my list a few times now before settling here. Perhaps it also means I'm thinking of the movie more fondly by remembering just its highlights and if I watch it again, I'll be reminded of the slower parts I didn't care for. Or maybe it means I'll like it more the second time if I revisit it down the road. Not sure. But, at the very least, it doesn't hurt for a movie to be memorable.

9. Baby Driver - This film requires some buy-in that I think most of Edgar Wright's films haven't necessarily needed, possibly because films like Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz have a certain... British whimsy to them? Or possibly because this is the most real world of all his films. I'm not sure, but I could see how some people might resist its charm. I happen to think it's a really likable film, and I bought in right at the fantastic opening scene, which quickly establishes the tone for how the rest of the film is going to go. The movie as a whole is expertly put together. The music and editing flow perfectly, the action is shot well -- Wright is, I think, underrated from just a pure director of action sequences standpoint -- and the dialogue is snappy and clever. The story is maybe a bit simplistic but it's told well. Overall, and maybe most importantly, it's pure fun, all the way through.

8. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - A truly excellent follow-up to the first film. It's funny, it has solid action, and, of course, it features some great music. Interestingly, as a sequel, it has a very Empire Strikes Back feel to it in that it's more interested in building and exploring relationships between the characters than really doing a thorough story. This even leads to it getting surprisingly deep and emotional at times. There's some great acting from the cast, especially Bradley Cooper, who continuously impresses me with his voice work as Rocket, and Michael Rooker, who gives gruff Yondu some depth and heart. The team has a wonderful chemistry, even with the new additions.

7. The Big Sick - Man, this was really well done. It touches on some compelling, rarely dealt with subjects, gets dramatic and emotional, and does so all while still telling a great, comedic love story. Very funny, very earnest, and very sweet. I'm not sure how you could not like this film. Great performances here from Kumail Nanjiani, Holly Hunter, and Ray Romano.

6. Lady Bird - Such a wonderfully done indie movie that feels deeply personal while being universally relatable. It's told with a humanist approach. There aren’t villains in this film, just people in different places in their lives, with different needs and desires and difficulties. And because the story is told through the eyes of a teenager -- an age where you often can’t see beyond your own troubles -- those others' difficulties are revealed in these beautiful, subtle little ways. It's smartly written -- funny, dramatic, and touching -- and excellently acted from top to bottom (not just Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf, who have, deservedly, received most of the plaudits, but down the list: Tracy Letts, Lucas Hedges, Timothée Chalamet, Beanie Feldstein, and Stephen Henderson all round out the cast and bring something to the table). Well done all around.

5. Thor: Ragnarok - So, I guess I'm a Marvel fanboy now. I try not to do that. I really want to be able to objectively critique things I watch or play, but sometimes it just happens, like with Rockstar Games, or James Bond films, or Judy Blume novels (I'm a big time Blumer, I hit up all the cons). With the MCU, I don't know for sure when it happened but I know when I realized it. It was last summer around Comic-Con -- not long after seeing another Marvel film that, spoiler alert: is going to appear shortly on this list -- when I was discussing with a friend the leaked Avengers teaser footage and the new trailer for this film and we were geeking out about both of them. It was then that I realized, "Oh yeah, I guess I'm all in on the MCU." Now, I like to think I'm not crazy, seeing as how most of these films are being met well by audiences and critics, and I still want to believe that if they release a stinker, I'll be able to recognize it. But, well, I have four MCU films in my top 12 this year, and if they keep doing a good job, I'm going to keep stacking the tops of these movie lists with them. Thor: Ragnarok is hilarious. Absolutely the funniest film of the year for me. Plus, it looks fantastic and the action is well done. It is at both times a Marvel film and a Taika Waititi film (read: oddball New Zealand-type humor) and the two meld together surprisingly well. It's charming, though it is maybe missing the sort of emotional core that elevates it to the top-top of the MCU list -- it's really more a straight comedy than any other entry -- but it's still near the very top.

4. The Disaster Artist - How should one feel about The Room? Should we respect that someone made an effort, no matter how bad the end results? Tommy Wiseau created something, which is more than a lot of people can say. Should we also take into account that we might be gawking at someone who isn't playing with a full deck, whether because he's an immigrant, or possibly not super bright, or possibly because he was in a near fatal accident at one point -- something The Disaster Artist acknowledges in passing -- that could've affected him in who knows what way? Then again, this is mostly speculation, and it might all very well be a post hoc attempt at trying to make sense of why Wiseau and his works are the way they are. And who am I to create a sad story for Wiseau? To declare, on his behalf, that it's not right to judge his work, and to protect him from the strange fame he's been handed? He is an adult, after all, who appears to have, if not full, at least more than partial grasp of his situation. Perhaps he's just an eccentric weirdo. Hollywood is full of them. Most just don't have millions of dollars of mysterious origin to allow them to see their plans go anywhere. This is some of my conflict with The Room, which is insane, and hilarious, and an amazing case study of all the wrong ways to make a movie, but afterwards leaves you with that slightly dirty feeling that you've been laughing at someone who isn't in on the joke. The Disaster Artist, which is an intentionally hilarious and superbly-made film, does a great job of playing with this conflict. James Franco, doing excellent work as both director and lead actor, invites you to laugh at Wiseau's absurdity while also asking you to sympathize with him as a man with the audacity to chase after a dream, even to such a preposterous degree. It wants you to dislike him when he acts like a raging egomaniac, but understand that he's doing it out of a place of fear and insecurity. When, during The Room's big premiere, it becomes an unintentional comedy and finds the entire theater audience essentially laughing at Wiseau, is that him receiving his just deserts, or an unfairly brutal moment for a tragic figure? Maybe it's a little of both, and maybe it's okay to accept it as such. (P.S. See The Room before watching The Disaster Artist. It's been said you don't need to, but to really appreciate what's happening, you need that frame of reference.)

3. Spider-Man: Homecoming - This was a delight. It excels at everything it tries to do. As a superhero movie? Yeah. It's very good, with several engaging action sequences. As a John Hughes style, high school comedy? It's great. The humor works and it really nails the vibe -- the kids are all well cast and do a fine job and there's a real air of authenticity to it. As a dramatic work? Yeah. The stakes, though not dealing with the end of the world, still feel important, and the film has some surprising emotion to it. Tom Holland is fantastic. He basically has to carry this high-budget, blockbuster film and does so with tremendous charm and charisma. Michael Keaton's Vulture is a strong villain -- menacing, grounded, and fascinating. Robert Downey Jr. and Jon Favreau are used sparingly but the few times they pop up are always fun and useful for advancing the plot. Plus, on top of it all, the film features a great score from Michael Giacchino. I loved everything that was going on in this film. I had a smile on my face pretty much from start to finish.

2. Dunkirk - What a stunning film -- visceral, emotional, a powerful story about heroism, whatever that means to you in a particular moment. For some people, it's about rising to the occasion when called upon. For others, it's doing your duty. For some, it's just surviving. The film is wonderfully directed, with some spectacular cinematography. The acting is good, though no role is deep enough to really offer any actor a whole lot of meat. Kenneth Branagh gets a few good line deliveries in. Mark Rylance's character's main trait is his stoicism, and he does a lot without saying much. Tom Hardy speaks even less than Rylance, but he does a lot of outstanding acting without words and using just his eyes. The story as a whole isn’t very deep, either, but it's made much better and more interesting by the way it’s told and edited (similar to another Christopher Nolan film, Memento). Story isn't really the main selling point anyway. It’s more an event to experience than a full story and it works amazingly well as that.

1. Coco - A visually dazzling, beautiful story about family, love, and music. Clever, funny, inventive, and touching. Granted, I have a soft spot for themes of family, remembrance, eternal love and the sort but this had me tearing up several times including, and especially, during the finale, which is one of the most emotionally moving moments in any film this year. I haven’t done an official ranking or anything, but it’s one of my favorite Pixar films ever, and my favorite film of the year.

Let's do some individual awards.

Best Actor

5. Kumail Nanjiani, The Big Sick 4. James Franco, The Disaster Artist 3. Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour 2. Tom Hanks, The Post 1. Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name

Best Actress

5. Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water 4. Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird 3. Margot Robbie, I, Tonya 2. Meryl Streep, The Post 1. Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Supporting Actor

5. Michael Stuhlbarg, Call Me by Your Name 4. Bradley Cooper, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 3. Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water 2. Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri 1. Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Supporting Actress

5. June Squibb, Table 19 4. Holly Hunter, The Big Sick 3. Hong Chau, Downsizing 2. Allison Janney, I, Tonya 1. Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird

Best Director

5. Joe Wright, Darkest Hour 4. Craig Gillespie, I, Tonya 3. Edgar Wright, Baby Driver 2. Lee Unkrich and Adrian Molina, Coco 1. Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk

Best Screenplay

5. Seth Grahame-Smith and Chris McKenna & Erik Sommers and Jared Stern & John Whittington, The LEGO Batman Movie 4. Eric Pearson and Craig Kyle & Christopher Yost, Thor: Ragnarok 3. Jordan Peele, Get Out 2. Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird 1. Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani, The Big Sick

I guess if there's one thing to be gleaned from this year's list, it's that I don't like action scenes with an overreliance on CGI. I get that it's a part of every movie now -- and for that matter, really almost every action scene uses at least some CGI at this point -- but this year, in particular, stood out as having a lot of bad examples. It's disappointing.

If there's two things to be gleaned from this year's list, it's that I don't like action scenes with an overreliance on CGI, and... The Last Jedi was strange, man.

Enjoy the Oscars, everyone!

- - - - -

Annual Lists of Movies I Saw the Past Year

#Reviews #Annual Lists of Movies I Saw The Past Year

0 notes