I wanted to know how do you interpret Tanya's gender. After reading chapter 58 of the manga i got the impression that she is definitely trans coded, but maybe thats just me
Very good question.
To be honest, when I think too hard about Tanya’s gender (and sexuality, for that matter) it gives me brain worms. Fun brain worms, but brain worms nonetheless. I can’t explain it. Everything she’s got going on is complicated as shit there’s way too much to think about.
Like, she was a man, but now she's a girl. But at some points she says she still sees herself as a man internally so is this MtFtM? How does that work. And if she accepts she's a woman now, is that just MtF or do we add more letters. More importantly: Was Being X being Transphobic or being the Greatest Trans Ally of All Time with the free divinely issued sex change.
Ok ok, jokes aside. Confession: I actually do not keep up with the manga, so I had to go find the chapter and read it first. Having read it now though, I see what you mean.
The conversation she has with the Salaryman/herself in that chapter really does read as essentially saying “I’ve accepted who I am now.” It’s a far cry from a much earlier part of the manga I remember where she has a breakdown about being a man/people seeing her as a girl.
A friend of mine was actually showing me stuff from more recent chapters of the manga (don’t know which chapter tragically, but I know it’s not currently translated to English) and from what I gathered of it, Being X was showing Tanya a dream of being back in her past life and in response she basically demanded to go back to being Tanya immediately. It is definitely not just you, I 100% see the trans-coding you’re talking about.
As for my personal interpretation of her gender, I touched very briefly on it once before, but I honestly think she wouldn’t want to label herself as anything. At first, this is out of hesitance and not wanting to acknowledge that anything might be ““wrong”” or ““different”” about her. Later on it turns into character growth, more along the lines of, “I don’t need the label to define me, I just am what I am/like what I like. I don’t care about it any more than that.” Yes this is 100% projection on my part. No, I won’t apologize for it lmao.
Of course, that's entirely my own headcanon. I definitely am not saying it’s the only way to interpret her, it’s just my personal thoughts. Especially since my opinion is subject to change on a dime depending on what I’m reading/working on myself. The Tanya gender is, in fact, transient, shifting like water.
Like. A transfem Tanya fic that focuses on her adapting to life in her new world and coming to discover she doesn’t actually hate her new body? I’d totally read that. I’ve seen a few fics that include that as a part of the narrative and those scenes of acceptance were among my favorite parts.
I get the feeling this is the route that the manga is going as well. It’s a bit of a shame that we don't have those aforementioned scenes in the light novel (or at least, I don't remember them), but I don’t think that Carlo Zen really intended that to be the focus/narrative in the first place. And honestly, I also think that’s a good thing because it allows for so much more room for interpretation and headcanon around Tanya’s character.
Anyway, the other direction is also compelling to me. A transmasc Tanya fic where, after feeling uncomfortable and hating how feminine he looks for years and years, he finally goes ‘Fuck this, I’m gonna go back to being a man’? I would read the fuck out of that too.
Could also be paired with him finally choosing to defect, where they think about it like, ‘Well there’s nothing to hold me back now, right? I don’t have to maintain appearances anymore. Also, since I’m defecting this would be a great way to hide myself. They’d all be looking for the wrong person. Two birds with one stone, how efficient.’ …Now we’re getting to fic ideas I won’t ever get to so it’s time to move on I think.
Semi-related to the Trans Tanya Concept, this actually brings me to a bit of a lore/headcanon/idea/question I want to present to the public for opinions. In Norden, during the inciting battle of the war, Tanya uses magic to “dope up” so she could enhance her strength and reaction time and kill pain. I took this to mean she used a formula to synthesize the narcotics/adrenaline hormone/whatever else directly into herself, right?
Can you see where I’m going with this? As long as you know which hormones to make, how they’re made up, and what quantities you need… Well, don’t you think magic HRT is completely possible? Of course, as I'm not sure it makes sense for Salaryman to have known the detailed specifics about it from the modern world, it would require a lot of in-universe research/science advancement for someone to actually do that, but theoretically...
The magic system in this universe has so much potential to be explored, I’m fascinated by what you can theoretically do with it. Although, this is long and off-topic already I think this should be the end, lol.
I think I talked too much? I’m sorry, you were probably not expecting such an answer. I told you, Tanya gives me brain worms (mental illness).
I guess the TL;DR is this: that kid definitely ain’t cishet.
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do you think Liam's new song is good?
I DO! Like obviously his voice is impeccable, he's SO pro and can do whatever he wants, but also his skill at crafting a pop song is also just ON IT, and this song is even better at that than his usual imo. But the most standout thing for me in a way is the lyrics; I think that's the biggest area where he's struggled since losing the Louis half of the Lilo songwriting machine, letting other people write for him or trying to churn out what he thought he should maybe. But this song, while they're simple and to the point, I really feel like they're so vulnerable and true and sincere! It's a lot!
I mean I don't personally think you have to strip yourself bare for the public in order to make good music, I'm fine with lyrics that aren't personal in that way; but that is what people had complained about that he wasn't doing enough and he made it clear that he had heard that and was responding to it, so if he's really done a whole album like this I hope they will be happy. And I'm very impressed with him since I think he had been trying for that and it took him some time to find it. Like I've said before it's not the kind of music I really listen to but *I* feel like it SHOULD be a huge radio hit, I'd rather hear it on constant repeat than most of the stuff that is. But Hope made such a good point right now about how his actual voice, as talented as he is, might be a factor in his struggle to get that kind of airplay; it's true that it's SO pro that it blends rather than standing out? Like how people tend to not realize how much he sings on 1D songs for instance (SO MUCH).
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Came to the realization (I've connected it! You didn't connect shit!) about the link between Stoicism (in the philosophical sense) and common trauma responses - both center around the locus of control, and having control over the boundaries of said locus.
The Stoics right, the whole thing with "virtue is sufficient for happiness" is that you don't worry about things outside of your control, and so moral actions (and therefore eudaimonia) are exclusively things within your realm of influence (yes yes that's a gross oversimplification, but the bulk of my academic work was with the Platonists anyway). The Stoics knew where the locus of control was, and their virtue, and their happiness, stemmed (in theory) from knowing, acknowledging, thinking, and acting within the boundaries of this sphere.
A common trauma response also revolves around control, or the lack thereof. When you're accustomed to instability and a lack of a sense of safety control becomes both a means of salvation and damnation. The lack of control, the uncertainty of it, the sense of walking on eggshells, is what causes the trauma in the first place - you have no control over anything and it's terrifying and dangerous.
But control can also mean safety, if you can manage to get it. And you can get control in one of two ways. You can reduce your environment severely, withdrawing from the world out of fear and isolating yourself. Or you can falsely extend your control, tricking yourself into a sense of stability with (often unhealthy) lies and mindgames. Often, people do both. They may become withdrawn and anti-social and fearful of new experiences, even if it is something that there is no reason to fear, no indication that it might be threatening. They withdraw as much as possible from any relationship, experience, or event which has any degree of uncertainty, which they cannot control.
You may also become a people-pleaser, or obsessive about responsibility and causality - if you take the blame for every event on yourself it restores a sense of control, even if it is based in falsity. If you are responsible for managing someone's moods, or causing widespread tragedy, or what have you, then you yourself are the only one to blame when you are punished or when something terrible happens. It is a small comfort perhaps, but better than no comfort at all. It is easier to think that the fault is within yourself, that only if you were faster, smarter, better this terrible thing would not happen. It gives the illusion that it may be different in the future, if you are (impossibly) better. It is easier than living with the knowledge that you can't control it, you can't do anything to change it, and you just have to live like this. The solace of lies you tell yourself.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this observation maybe I'm in love with the sound of my own silly little thoughts. Someone smarter and more eloquent could make further connections about the locus of control and how the Stoics did not try to change it, while trauma responses simultaneously try to reduce and expand that locus as a defence mechanism. I'm sure there's some sort of philosophical or psychological implication here. I'm sure Real Academics and psychologists have already made this observation elsewhere, but it only occurred to me this afternoon.
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