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crowinthewoods · 4 months

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A bunch of incorrect quotes just cuz I'm bored and these are funny. I might have went over board and no I'm not sorry.

Jon: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Gerry: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Jon: Yeah, they're all birds.

Gerry: What’s up with you?

Jon: What do you mean?

Gerry: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

Gerry: *makes Mike a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Mike: *sips tea*

Gerry:

Mike: *finishes tea*

Gerry: Didn't it taste bad?

Mike: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Gerry, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Tim, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Gerry: …

Gerry: What’s in the box?

Tim: What woul-

Gerry: Tim, what’s in the box?

Tim: I think you know.

Jon: What did you two do?

Mike:

Tim:

Jon: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Gerry: Why would I flip my shit about that?

Tim: Because you flip your shit about everything.

Gerry: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It’s a miracle.

Jon: Mike, we're hungry!

Gerry: Mike! What's for dinner?

Tim: We're hungry, Mike!

Mike, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Tim, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Tim, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Tim: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Jon: If you water water, it grows.

Mike: ...What.

Tim: They've got a point.

Jon: What are you two arguing about this time?

Mike: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Gerry: Cry me a table, Mike.

Jon: *Locks Mike in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.

Mike: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

Jon: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Mike, used to Jon being dumb: Sure...

Jon: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Mike: Okay?

Jon: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Mike:

Jon: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Mike: Jesus, that one is a little-

Gerry, interested: No, no, Jon, keep going.

Tim: Gerry? What are you doing here?

Gerry, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.

Jon, texting Tim: I’m a theif.

Tim: Thief.

Jon: Theif.

Tim: I before E except after C.

Jon: Thceif.

Tim: NO.

Mike, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Jon: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

*at a zoo*

Daisy: What are they in for?

Not Sasha: Daisy, this isn't prison.

Daisy: So they can leave?

Not Sasha: No, but-

Daisy, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Daisy: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

Kevin, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.

Not Sasha, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.

Kevin: Coming right up.

Daisy: As you know I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.

Mike: Where am I on the list?

Daisy: Well I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

Daisy: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Not Sasha: And?

Daisy: And you are.

Kevin: A banker? Me?

Melanie: Yes, Kevin.

Kevin: But I don’t know anything about running a bank!

Melanie: Good. No preconceived ideas.

Kevin: I’ve robbed banks!

Melanie: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.

Tim: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Mike, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Gerry: Awww, why don't you like cats, Daisy? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love??

Daisy: I don't know Gerry, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor.

Gerry:

Daisy: I'm ALLERGIC.

Tim: Made you all playlists!

Tim: Gerry, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Tim: Kevin, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Tim: And Melanie has the ABBA Gold album.

Not Sasha, excitedly: Heeyy!!

Daisy: Hey, someone's excited.

Melanie, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

Daisy: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Martin and Jon's convo?

Gerry: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Tim: I'm in the washing machine.

Mike: I'm in the closet.

Gerry: We accept you Mike. <3

Mike: No I'm literally in the closet.

Gerry: Love is love. <3

Kevin: Who hurt you?

Not Sasha: *snorting* What, do you want a list?

Kevin: ...Yes, actually.

Melanie: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Tim: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

Helen: Hey, Sasha, where are you going?

Sasha: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell.

Sasha: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.

Gerry: Mike said its my turn with the brain cell.

Sasha: Square up.

Kevin: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes...

Kevin: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.

Basira: ...That took an unexpected turn.

Melanie: So did their neck.

Sasha: If I say yes am I joining a cult?

Jon: Possibly.

Sasha: I’m in.

Martin: I think this might be a bad idea...

Tim: Don't start thinking on me now!

Melanie: Basira, I know you love Helen. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Melanie: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

Basira: *cooking*

Melanie: *kicks down door*

Melanie: *grabs knife from Basira's hand*

Melanie: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?

Basira:

Basira: What.

Martin: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.

Sasha: Kevin and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Michael: What did you do?

Sasha: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Kevin: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

#daycare au #the magnus nightvale daycare au #chaos #the magnus archives #gerard keay #jonathan sims #michael distortion #not sasha #welcome to nightvale #incorrect quotes #sasha james #mike crew #melanie king #basira hussain #martin blackwood #daisy tonner #kevin wtnv #they're all dumbasses your honor

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drgarrisonandpaul · 7 months

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The Sternritter Kitchen

The thing that has been in my brain for a while

Quilge - He doesn't like bringing drinks to his room because he has a paranoid fear of spilling, so you can see him hanging out for like 2 hours in the morning while he drinks his coffee. Probably sitting cross-legged at the table

Askin - He also sits around while he drinks his coffee, except the coffee is an excuse to sit around and listen to all the gossip and drama. Also he has, like, 2 cups a day, one in morning and the other in the afternoon. If you catch him cooking anything, stick around, it's gonna be bougie and its gonna have some kind of cheese sauce

Mask - He pops in to make himself a sandwich then fucks back off to his personal gym (or the Sternritter theater) to watch movies and hang out with James. The big boy does interact with the other Sternritters, and he does appreciate their company, but James is his number 1 priority. ...unless there's a fight going on, then he's gonna stay and watch

Nanana - This man savors his food and refuses to take it into his room, so he will very much be sitting around relaxing during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sure, he's into the gossip, but he moreso loves the SMELL of the kitchen. Especially when Askin is cooking

Uryu - ... there's a kitchen?

Giselle - As previously mentioned, she likes to sit in the kitchen and threaten people with her Funko Pops, however she will also pretend that the Funko Pops are the ones cooking if she decides to make anything and will, in fact, blame them if it doesn't come out great. She's a surprisingly good baker and likes making grape-flavored things

Meninas - Why would she waste her time with the kitchen when she can be off petting the Sternritter cats or dunking on people in CoD?

Candice - Can be found scowling while making herself protein shakes at various times throughout the day while trying to be healthy and can be found eating Giselle's baked goods at night because they're too good to pass up

Liltotto - Leans on the wall in the hall just outside of the kitchen to catch the gossip as it leaves. If Askin is cooking, he'll sometimes just kinda- hold the spoon in the air beside himself and wait for her mouth to come stretchin in to taste what he's making, at which point you'll hear, from just outside the kitchen "tastes nice. needs more pepper-"

Gremmy - Banned from the kitchen because he tried being "creative" and made mustard gas

Äs Nödt - Slips out of his room solely for Askin's cooking (or sometimes to steal sandwich ingredients from Mask) like a little mouse, then promptly goes back to his room

Jugram - Though it was his money that decorated and remodeled the kitchen in the first place, he is banned from it because he "ruins the vibe" as Quilge and Bazz-B put it

Ryūken - ... there's a kitchen? Pt. 2

Bazz-B - He makes Oatmeal Raisin cookies and they are the only good Oatmeal Raisin cookies in the world. Other than that? He's probably eating someone else's leftovers, especially if he knows that they were looking forward to said leftovers

Bambietta - Is the reason that the kitchen had to be remodeled. Isn't banned because she's the one who cooks when Askin doesn't feel like it. If something she's making has chicken in it? You BEST BELIEVE it's gonna be bangin. And Mask and James are first in line at her BBQs

Yhwach - Banned from the kitchen for ruining the vibe. Before he was banned, he hyped everyone up for his "famous lasagna recipe" and it was the worst lasagna the kitchen has ever seen. Being forced to eat it just to make him happy was an unpleasant experience and the whole ordeal is probably the REAL reason he was banned

Robert Accutrone - He is the reason there is a whole cabinet JUST for cereal. Rob is a cereal fiend, if he can get his hands on it, it's gone. Especially if it's somethin fruity like Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, etc.

BG9 - Doesn't eat. Doesn't need to be in the kitchen. Visits once every few days to listen in on the new drama. There is a picture somewhere in the kitchen of him making breakfast for everyone with a whisk taped to one of his wrists for "maximum efficiency" (he makes amazing omelets)

Cang Du - He doesn't care who's cooking, it's all the same to him, he's gonna swoop in to steal a plate and then go back to the definitely serious business he was doing no matter what it is, who made it, or what time of day it is. The only time he didn't steal a plate of something was during the "Yhwach's Lasagna" fiasco and everyone has been accusing him of being a double-agent ever since because HOW DID HE KNOW?! (because he could smell its failure from a mile away)

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atmilliways · 8 months

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Wrong On The Money (31)

part 31 of ?? | 542 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

When Wayne is out or asleep, Steve gets Eddie his meds when it’s time for a new dose. He unpacks boxes and hangs up posters (and then moves it up . . . and a little bit higher . . . and little to the left . . .). He changes Eddie’s bandages, which is an exercise in trying not to stare and trying not to let his touch linger anywhere. It’s a lot.

31.

Steve might have miscalculated in moving in with the Munsons.

Not that it isn’t great! Because it is.

There are family dinners almost every night. Wayne is a decent cook, too. Eddie. . . . Well, Eddie is hit or miss, because he tends to get easily distracted. And Steve, for the first time in his life, has regularly scheduled positive feedback on what he considers the most basic of recipes: lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo, meatloaf, spaghetti Bolognese. . . .

But Eddie always gives these little moaning mmm’s of appreciation and lopsided smiles with dimples. He keeps telling Steve he’s a culinary genius. And every time, Steve has to cough or turn or duck his head to hide a blush because he cannot handle it.

Then there’s helping Eddie, because the guy still can’t move around much on his own. When Wayne is out or asleep, Steve gets him his meds when it’s time for a new dose. He unpacks boxes and hangs up posters (and then moves it up . . . and a little bit higher . . . and little to the left . . .). He changes Eddie’s bandages, which is an exercise in trying not to stare and trying not to let his touch linger anywhere.

It’s a lot.

“So,” Robin says after a week and change, leaning against the counter next to him during the dullest part of a dull shift. (They have a lot of those. Really, it probably says a lot about their jobs that they weren’t fired for leaving Family Video closed over the first weekend of Spring Break, long before the ‘earthquake’ struck.) “How’s that crush going?”

With a groan, Steve drops his forehead on a stack of VHS tapes that he’s supposed to be sorting. “Dimples, Rob. He has dimples.”

“He does,” she allows, and he can tell from her tone that she doesn’t get it. “Is that . . . the moral opposite of chewing bubble gum that might get in your hair?”

Steve lifts his head to scowl at her. “How long have you been waiting to throw that one back at me?”

“Pretty much since the moment you said it.”

He groans again and pushes away from the counter, leaving the employees only area for more room to pace in the otherwise empty store. “You don’t get it. He smiles so much.”

Robin hesitates. “Really?”

“Yes really!” Steve waves irritably at himself. “You think I would be this pathetic if it didn't happen all the time?”

She throws her hands up, narrowly missing punching the computer right off the counter. “I don’t know! Whenever I see him he’s usually more like . . . big doe eyes and serious ruminations. Unless he’s playing D&D or guitar, or, um. . . .”

“Or?” Steve prompts.

She crosses her arms. “You’re going to be weird about this, but. . . . Or when he knows you’re looking.”

And she’s right; Steve can feel himself getting weird about it before she finishes saying the last word. Because why would Eddie Munson, now finally graduated, want one of his former high school bullies to think he’s all sunshine and smiles all the time? Even with the truce, even with kind of being friends, it makes no fucking sense.

He spends the rest of the shift bickering with her about it, which is at least sort of a distraction.

#steddie blackmail fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #my fanfic #come on steve use that hair-covered noggin of yours #he's so dumb that i. the writer. the GOD of this shitshow. am starting to get frustrated.#i have no one to blame but myself (and everyone who's enabled me so far)

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dylanadreams · 3 months

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I packed Rob lasagna for lunch yesterday, but from the looks of it, the silverware I gave him is untouched and remains wrapped in its napkin. Did he eat the lasagna with his hands? Like an animal? 🤔

#my beautiful husband

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nanamismoonchild · 2 years

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bts at the cookout w/black reader (namjoon, yoongi,hoseok, seokjin)

Namjoon:

“Momma, you seen Namjoon?”

The two of you had arrived a little late. Regardless, the food still wasn’t done and your mom had forced you to help her. Namjoon had scurried away before she could force him to chop or stir something.

It was in her good graces that he didn’t bother with cooking anyway.

But now, the food was done and you wanted to sit by your man while you ate a plate full of lasagna and collard greens.

“I think I heard Grandma Shirley say she was going to bring him a plate of her cobbler.”

“Aw lord, she trying to take Joon from me. Why didn’t you stop her?”

“That’s a you problem.”

True enough, when you went outside to look at the grandma and auntie tables, Namjoon was sitting by your Grandma Shirley and Auntie Patricia. From the looks of it, he was caught up in their long going argument of who had the better pie. He didn’t seem to care since he had two pieces of pie in front of him and the ladies were just watching him eat.

Cheater.

Originally posted by yoonsguk

Seokjin:

Seokjin had always heard you bragging about [insert your home city ( but we all know Memphis has the best bbq, and I stand by that lol)] barbeque. To him, no one had better bbq than Seoul. But he realized how mistaken he was as he bit into a rib that was damn near falling off the bone.

The seasonings were making his taste buds dance around his mouth. And the sauce? Spectacular. He was trying to keep himself from licking his fingers.

And don’t get him started about the deviled eggs. Or the mac and cheese. Or the, gods help him, potato salad. Seokjin had dipped the rib into the potato salad

“I need to marry whoever made this.”

“My auntie made it. And you’re married to me, fool!”

“Polyamory it is then.”

“No sir. That’s weird.”

“Well, we are getting a divorce then.”

Yoongi:

The tell-tale signs of someone losing a game includes: a chorus of “no’s,” a bunch of grown men slamming down cards/dominoes, a lot of cursing, and laughter.

You watched as Yoongi put most of your uncles to shame in dominoes. He was collecting dollars like he collected your orgasms. Quickly.

“Nah we need to switch games. Cuz ain’t no way this nigga is taking my money.”

“Uncle Ben you talked all that shit about being the best player and here you are being a sore loser.”

“You better hush before I tell yo momma to bring out the photo album.”

You promptly hushed.

Your Uncle Ronnie shook his head as he looked at his dominoes. “I agree though. Let’s switch to Spades. Ben, you on my team. Y/N and Yoongi on a team. Bert and Rob make a team. Who dealing?”

Yoongi raised his hand and took the cards from your Uncle Ronnie, who was trying to be slick and pocket the money he had thrown on the table.

You watched as Yoongi cut the deck and shuffled as only a pro card dealer could. His hands moved so fast it gave you whiplash.

The next thing you knew, you had joined the collective “bruh what the hells” and “noooooos.”

Hoseok:

“Ah shit! Get it get it now. Y/N, ain’t that your man?”

You look to see where your cousin was pointing and sure enough, that was your husband. Throwing it down on the “dance floor.”

Jung Hoseok had been dying to show your folks the moves he had learned from you. And right now, he was showing your younger cousins how to walk it out.

The first day he had heard the song was from TikTok and, as usual, the dance was butchered by a Tiktoker doing the incorrect dance. When you had found him doing the dance the Tiktoker was doing, you had immediately corrected him.

And now here he was doing it better than everybody.

“Does he usually have all this energy girl?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I bet he be tearing that ass up. How you sitting with us right now then?” “Mind yo business.”

#hyunglinenetwork #bts #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #hoseok #bts reaction #bts x reader #bts x black reader #black reader

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super-unpredictable98 · 10 months

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Midnight Strikes (Robert Sheehan RPF)

Word Count: 1,1 k

Warning: strong language

a/n: Just letting everyone who left me a request know, I'm working on them and thank you so much for all the lovely ideas <3

(Masterlist)

I can't wait to get out of here, it's so fuckin hot!

Your boyfriend texted around seven. It was your one year anniversary, but he had to work. Of course you understood, his job was demanding, but he loved it and so did you. Robert was meant to be home by eight, so you had everything ready for the celebration.

There was a lasagna ready to go in the oven, homemade garlic bread, and cake for dessert. You prepared the bathroom with candles and a bath bomb so he could relax after dinner, the whole flat was spotless and you picked his favorite dress to wear.

Twenty minutes passed, you put your romantic dish in the oven and set a timer before heading to the bedroom to get ready. The dress was blue and looked like something Donna would wear in Mamma Mia, very light and flowy. The makeup you chose was very simple and discreet, and the hair was also not too extravagant. You even got a new set of lingerie matching the dress for the occasion.

Rob's gift was waiting for him on the sofa, a few books he'd been talking about in the last few months.

You waited until the lasagna was done and turned the oven off, leaving it in there so it would be nice and warm. You checked if the champagne you got for the celebration was chilled and set the table.

When it was all prepared, you looked at the time on your phone, it was 8:05. You grinned in anticipation, deciding where you wanted to sit to wait for your boyfriend who should be coming through the door very soon.

Unfortunately, that's not how it went... 8:05 turned into 8:45, turned into 9:20, turned into 10:00. By then the lasagna was for sure cold and it wasn't even time for dinner anymore.

You sent texts during this time, but there was no response, which elicited a mix of worry and anger stirring in your chest, adding to the hunger that was pretty bad already.

Finally, at 10:25 the door opened and Rob walked in looking like hell. He was sweaty (more than usual), his hair was messy, there was eyeliner smeared around his eyes and he grunted as he usually did when his back was in pain.

"So nice of you to join..." you said, looking up from your book

"Shit, I knew I was late but I didn't know it was that bad," he checked his phone. "I didn't even see it, I just ran as fast as I could when they said I could go home, the tube was packed."

"There's bath stuff in the bathroom, but the candles are probably all melted by now," you folded your arms, absolutely furious even if you knew it wasn't his fault.

Robert left his shoes by the door, walked up to the couch, and sat on the floor in front of you. He had that puppy look on his face, but didn't talk at first, knowing you probably had more to say.

"I worked on this shit all day for us to have a nice time and celebrate, by the time you're done with your shower and everything else we'll have an hour left in our anniversary at best!" Your voice cracked as you spilled the words. "That isn't fair, I know it was work and you didn't have a choice, I'm just frustrated! I already have to share you with the world, I can't even get a proper anniversary dinner."

He listened quietly as you let out your anger and on your own arrived to the conclusion that there was nothing he could've done to make things different if he wanted to keep his job. He then made sure you were done before taking your hands in his and kissing each knuckle.

"I understand how frustrating that is, I'm sorry things didn't work out."

"I know... I am too," you sighed, seeing him so calm kinda forced you to calm down as well, it was quite nice actually.

"If you wanna celebrate another day with something different, I get it. But if you'd like to try, I can shower really quickly and we can have our dinner. Tomorrow I have the day off and I'm not leaving your side. I'll even hold your hand as you go to the toilet."

You laughed, he just knew how to de-escalate the situation. He wasn't always like that, but the talent to make you no longer mad was definitely there.

Robert took a shower and changed into something nice, not a suit, but nice by his hippie standards. He even put on a scarf and fixed his hair to look just the way you like it.

"You look so handsome," you smiled, holding out the gift box for him. "I hope you like it."

He opened it and his eyes lit up. "Thank you, y/n! So comforting to know you're listening when I'm rambling about books and movies and shit," he chuckled. "Now it's my turn."

Rob opened his bag by the door and pulled out a plastic bag, not a very promising wrapping job, but when you opened it, you forgot all about that. Inside there was the white and blue coat Klaus wears for season two of Umbrella Academy. Every detail was perfect, even the embroidery work.

"Robbie! This is so beautiful, I can't believe you did this."

"You always mention how much you love these outfits so I had a replica made in your size," he grinned proudly. "I was between this and the black furry one from season one, but I'll get that one for your birthday."

You pulled him into a fierce hug, he really put so much care into it, he certainly looked forward to this night as much as you did. Suddenly, the time didn't matter anymore, all that mattered was that he was there.

"Thanks for being understanding today," Rob murmured, taking your hand as he happily ate his dinner. He was clearly starved from waiting so long.

"It wasn't your fault, don't worry about it."

"Hey, can I tell you a secret?" He asked with a little smirk.

"What?" You chuckled, half expecting some joke or gag, but he just took your hand and brought it to his lips again.

"It was past midnight when I asked you to be my girlfriend."

"What? No it wasn't!" You gasped.

He nodded as he chewed, completely sure of what he was saying. "I'm serious, my bedside clock was wrong, I remember cause I had to change it after I was late for work the next day. So technically, it's still our anniversary."

"Oh... happy anniversary then."

"Happy anniversary, love."

Tag List: @salvador-daley @seanfalco @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator @badsext

#rpf #rpf fanfic #robert sheehan x reader #robert sheehan fanfic #fanfic #robert sheehan rpf #one shot

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merrycrisis-if · 10 months

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ALLIE I'M SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP, PUNCHING THE WALLS, SOBBING OVER MY LASAGNA. What am I supposed to do now that I've finished playing the update. What now.

I'm never recovering from this.

My two MCs are in a mess. I made both of them go through the Qiu route to see the difference w the genders and you know, one is very much going through a internal crisis wondering if it could work in the end and the other is this 🤏🏼 close to robbing dad's whiskey to drown it all. Either that or take a dive into the sea to properly wake up. Oof.

OMG HAHHA. There, there anon!!!

Love the difference in mental states of your MCs. Second MC sounds like they're in far more need of help. Stealing dad's whiskey and drunk-swimming in the sea sounds like a terrible-but-kinda-great idea.

#merry crisis #if #interactive fiction #asks

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girlwithwolftatoo · 2 years

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Could you write a Drabble maybe about the reader trying to surprise Jake by learning a few phrases in Spanish but she gets all flustered when he tries to woo her and she can’t understand all of what he’s saying?

I had a lot of fun writting this one, honestly.

Me encanta que me llames señorita

Pairing: Jake Lockley/F!Reader

Words: 924

Warnings: none

You loved all three of them. It was impossible not to, not only because, at the end of the day, you had the strange privilege of embracing the same body but different souls, but because each one had something special to share with you, something unique that never ceased to amaze you. But then there was Jake, the most peculiar among the three, the New Moon who took you down paths you never imagined you would travel.

Jake was a roller coaster, it had already become normal for you that, when he took possession of the body, he returned from his night hunts covered in blood (more alien than his own) and with some "treasures" that he snatched from his missions as if cohabiting with Khonshu gave him habits of a greedy crow.

"Look what I found" he would say, showing you some object of value or, sometimes, some curious thing "How much do you think it's worth?"

"Jake, I understand that you have to crack their skulls, but is it necessary to rob them too?"

"It's not like they're going to need it, bonita" he replied simply, twirling the thick gold chain "I say I'll get at least two hundred pounds, se ve cara"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I say it looks expensive" Jake turned his neck in your direction, and a wide grin played across his bloodied lips "Qué enfermera más guapa tengo esta noche."

You laughed, you managed to catch a few stray words and knew perfectly when Jake was looking to flatter you. You were fascinated when he spoke Spanish in front of you, especially when he used some tender nickname for you. Bonita and muñequita were the most common, but there were also others: mi corazón, princesa and of course, señorita.

Because of the latter, Jake had that song as a ringtone for your number on his cell phone. He never missed a single call from you no matter what he was doing.

I love it when you call me señorita, I'd wish I could pretend I didn't need ya....

"¡Quieto!" Jake knocked his opponent out and pulled the cell phone out of its holster, a very special one so it would withstand all kinds of blows "Hey, bonita, what's up?" Another man, armed with a stilson wrench, jumped on him, but Jake was quicker and plunged his prized half-moon dumbbell right between his ribs "Sausage? Yeah, why not?" He stomped on the guy, who was doubled over in pain, and then elbowed him in the jaw, sending him reeling before he fell unconscious "Sure, I love your lasagna, I hope those par de cabrones aren't going to interrupt our meal again."

Jake didn't usually occupy the body for more than two or three days at a time a month, and yet recently he would suddenly appear to join you for more mundane things like grocery shopping or going for a walk. You felt it was like starting a relationship, with all the nerves and fantasies involved, and you wanted more than anything to surprise him with something special, something that not just anyone could give him.

One of those afternoons, Jake came back with an errand for you, and showed up at the apartment carrying a paper bag of wine. The atmosphere smelled delicious, you took great care in what would probably be the last meal you would share with him for a month.

"(Y/N), I'm home" he crooned, peeking into the small kitchen "What did you prepare? It smells so good."

Your head peeked out from behind the screen you used to dress yourself when Steven was present. Even though he was the one you had been living with the longest, he still sought to respect a little of your privacy and got that nice screen (with a design reminiscent of the Nile, of course) so as not to make you uncomfortable.

"Hola" you greeted with a broad smile "Hoy cocino sopa gallega de cebolla y lomo de bife."

Your pronunciation was still weak, but Jake raised his eyebrows. He had never heard you say anything in Spanish. You stepped out from behind the bulkhead, you had changed into a tight, casual dress, the kind the limo driver liked, and you noticed his eyes wander from your face to your body.

"¿Te gusta?" you asked, turning around so he could see that most of your back was bare "Yo compré este vestido pensando en ti."

Jake bit his lip as his gaze wandered unabashedly down your cleavage. He walked towards you, reaching out to trap your waist between his arms and bowed his head.

"Tú siempre estás preciosa, mi amor, me encanta cuando te arreglas para mí."

You reached out an arm to cup his cheek in your hand.

"Eres mi guapo chico."

Jake laughed.

"Chico guapo" he corrected you gently.

"Oh, sorry... chico guapo."

Jake deposited a kiss on your temple, then descended to your ear and whispered:

"¿Te gustaría que te enseñe a usar mi lengua?"

"Excuse me?" you asked, a little confused. Jake laughed again, it secretly amused him to tell you things that could be misunderstood in his language.

"I mean if you want, I can teach you some things later" he repeated, with a mischievous grin. His hands spun you around to face him, and you took the opportunity to throw your arms around his neck.

"Muchas gracias, Jake."

He took one of your hands, with a devoted expression, and kissed it before saying:"No... Thank you for existing, mi amor."

#moon knight fanfiction #moon knight series #moon knight #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x fem!reader #jake lockley fanfiction #jake lockley is a latin lover and you like it

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moricodex · 11 months

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(Please read tags) M.Bison X nongender specified reader.

You were frustrated, mildly infuriated to be more precise; the timer was ticking. Noise; Voices & the sound of sliding plates robbed your senses of their focus, and the disorganized chorus of voices wasn’t helping either. Tired eyes locked with focused eyes. Biting your lip you decide to grin and bare it. “Yo, this place is pretty purple.” Death taps on the mental door that is your smooth brain. Yes, the place was lavender in colour, a variety of deep & light hues, however, it was fucking obvious. You craved death as one would crave coffee, despite coffee being an energy booster.

“Do you like the colour purple?” What? Shit, you blanked out so hard from internalized cringe. “Yea, purple is a dope colour, although, I prefer red, to be honest.” What the actual fuck, you were so smooth, normally you’d freeze and fuel a prolonged period of silence before spewing out questions in rapid succession. The large, beautifully chiselled, masterpiece that stood before you wasn’t focused on your social quirks; well maybe, however, he wasn’t making it obvious, so for all you knew he wasn’t. His gaze, what a handsome man. You found Bison hard to read, however, you also enjoyed the many poker faces he put on. Thoughts of desire pulled your sight into your mind, images of touching his face while grinding against the man's growing concealed excitement, it made your own privates flush.

He grinned. You cock your head to the side. He approached. You take a step back, blushing mildly. You haven’t really seen your boss smile before; minus the exception of putting someone in their place or the joy from winning. A large hand extends forth with an open palm, perhaps the correct reaction to such a gesture was to grab said arm? Without hesitation followed by the need to not offend boss man, you decide to grab his hand with both of your own. You say absolutely nothing besides a simple nod & smile.

You are both escorted to a table once a very overworked waitress finally has time to tend to the two of you. A comfy booth with black leather cousins & matching table with Purple iris napkins is temporality given to you. You both are now seated & decide to look through the menu.

Food was ordered a while ago; Mac & cheese, a lasagna, two glasses of water, a bottle of wine. You never told him you were a lightweight. Smug energy filled your core as you leaned low on the table; hands cupped neatly together as you rested your chin atop your knuckles. You only had half the bottle, leaving the rest for Mr Bison, you weren’t some greedy & ungrateful runt after all. You knew all too well how he felt about those types. A sudden pain in your chest reminded you that you had a weak heart from stress. Shit. Perhaps you read the atmosphere wrong? Man, you started to ponder if the vibes you read before drinking were more fueled by hormones or obsessive daydreaming, probably both.

“Slow staff huh?” Your body rings in delight at the tone of his voice, you hadn’t upset him. You wiggle slightly before sitting down, crossing nervous legs before swiftly placing your hands on your lap.

“Yea, haha.”You stammer out, blinking rapidly. He’s rarely blinked through most of the date, was this a date though?

“Got any little ideas of how to pass time in that head of yours.” He stated softly yet firmly with that goddamn flat poker face of his. Sharp pain surges through your chest as your heart strains against the pressure shooting through it; its warmth & speed overwhelms your body & mind as M. Bison leans in close over the table, his massive body loaming over yours.

“I-I-I-” You stutter; eye’s wide as your body begins to freeze up.

“Cute.” The boss stated with a smile that beamed with overwhelming confidence. “Now come! Crawl under the table for me.” Confusion rang loudly within your drunken mind along with a sense of concern & caution. Your heart continued to throb harshly yet your body started to sink low into the seat, faster than you could process, your whole body felt so heavy. The sight you were met with would have made your heart stop if it were any other regular dude, however, Bison was far from such boring normality. A hard cock tucked away under tight fabric graced your sight; followed by the strange sensation of calm & blankness that caressed your mind despite the pain that raged in your chest. Did it feel like a cigarette, wtf? A sensation of a whole-body orgasm ravages your body & mind, starting and ending within your mind, swirling downwards to your toes, only to dance upwards to the sockets of your eyes & linger. Exhaustion & bliss held you so closely, did thoughts become harder? You tried hard to fight the intoxication you were facing beyond the booze you consumed, which seemed to cause a ripple effect of pain in the center of your brain. Something else was pushing against your consciousness, weighing it down, holding it down. Thought was no longer a right but a privilege.

Pleasure swirled within your head again and slowly made its way up & down your body. Staring, that was all you could do now. At his hard cock, as it twitched, fighting against the fabric that kept him modest.”This restaurant is notorious for taking its sweet time,” Perfect person’s voice was nice, his cock was equally as nice. Lick? You wanted to lick so badly. Arousal burned at your private region, a deep need screaming at you to move & act; to lick and indulge but you couldn’t, you were stuck like a doll. All you could do was blink, movement of your eyes was met with the strain of pulled muscle.

“You like this, don’t you?” His right hand reached downwards, under the table; grasping his balls. He pulled them up & let go, bringing his hand back up to the table, away from your view. Your eyes soaked up the bounce, the motion. If arousal was knocking before, it was banging & screaming now. “ An eager meat puppet aren’t you? Now, kneel!” You couldn’t hear any background noise anymore, not even the other customers, just his voice.

“Hey! Let me try shit!” You drop over face first, hard. You are on your hands & knees, your face pressed against the carpet floor, the friction jolting you from your trance just for a moment. You use this chance to sit up & attempt to gain agency with your actions. Successfully sitting up, you take a slow deep breath and exhale. Pain strikes the center of your brain, a roaring splitting headache reminding you that someone else is knocking behind the curtains.

“Cease struggling, I know you enjoy what you have the privilege to see.” Contempt rang in his tone, inside of your mind, an overpowering emotion that made you want to hurl up your guts & run. You couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You repeated the words like a broken record that feared being thrown in the trash & forgotten. His cock twitched once again, and pleasure ravaged your body once more as your limbs moved on their own. You watched while in a high state of arousal as your body coiled around one of his legs, dry humping & grinding against the edge of his left boot. Whining while rubbing your genitals against the tip of his boot. Precious pressure & friction.

“Good meat-puppet” Endearment?! Perfect person was pleased with you!!~ Despite your slow weak heart, you felt a surge of energy flow within you that made it soldier though. Deep Joy flower through your skin in the form of warmth. “I know you thought of this earlier, what a little horny spaz~” You whine and grind harder while your arms and hands explore his muscular leg, rubbing his thigh & calve as your body gets itself off. You still weren’t allowed to lick & touch his masterpiece but he made sure you damn well stared.

“This is simply an appetizer for what is to come pet, now behave.”

You instantly pull yourself back & up onto the seat, sweat dripping down your skin, soaking your clothes. Your body feels so weak yet good but also denied at the same time. You had been so close to orgasm, why did you fucking do that? Was he talking to you? Do you hear voices now??? Why were people staring at you like a deranged freak? Why weren't they looking at him? Did he do that? Your mac & cheese is slowly slid towards you by a very concerned & tired waitress. You didn’t say anything, you thought nothing & simply stared at Bison. This time however it was by choice. Horror & arousal fought & pulled at each other like a twisted dance.

“Plez” “Plez Later” Is all you could mutter out, confusing the hell out of the waitress but amusing Bison, a slight smile, not a toothy grin, but a smirk.

#content warning #dubcon #mind control #alchol mention #fanfic #pov reader #street fighter #m. bison #m.bison x reader #I should have uploaded sooner cause it would have been a Tuesday #I wrote this while drunk #start to finish #but had to edit the crap out of it #it took fucking forever #smut fanfiction

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pretty-boy-eddie · 6 months

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Stranger Things characters as things my niece has done cause she's funny

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Steve: okay guys, be careful its pretty slippery over here-

El: *slides past on her belly while laughing*

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Robin: Oh yeah he doesnt really *talk* so don't be surprised-

Kas!Eddie who just dropped a chicken nugget: Oh shit

Robin: OH NOW YOU TALK

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Eddie: Okay so this is Metallica-

El not wasting a single second dancing (somewhat) like this:

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Joyce holding baby Will at some random family members funeral: He's sweetest thing

Will: *Hocks a loogie like a grown man*

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Nancy waking up in the middle of the night: hello?

Baby Mike sitting in her closet trying on her clothes: All Done!

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Jonathan: Look mom, we have something to show you!

Joyce: Oh? What is it?

Will signing 'Bitch Lasagna':

Joyce:

Joyce: Well at least he can tell us if he's mad or hungry

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Steve: Hey robs can you hand me that-

Robin: *throws the item 20 ft away from both of them before returning to her show*

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Mike: Hey Will, can we change the show-

Will: NO! *Turns spiderman up to volume 100 and kicks anyone who tries to turn it down*

#stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #eleven hopper #joyce byers

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devildomwriter · 2 years

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Obey As FRIENDS Quotes #2

Leviathan: *Barges into room*

Leviathan: You idiot!

Mammon: I’m sure you’re right, but why!?

•

Asmodeus: Hey, Simeon, how you doin’?

Simeon: I’m doing good, baby. How you doing?

Asmodeus: …

Asmodeus: Lucifer, don’t let him drink anymore.

•

Luke: Mammon, do you think you’re favorite animal says much about you?

Mammon: You mean like behind my back?

•

Mammon: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

•

Beelzebub: The fridge broke…so I had to eat everything.

•

Solomon: *Enters empty apartment*

Solomon: Oh my god what happened?

Lucifer: Oh, um, Mammon was born and then millennia later I got robbed!

•

Satan: I could so easily freak out right now.

•

Solomon: I used to get medical experiments done on me.

Simeon: Finally, an explanation.

•

Leviathan: So why don’t you be a grownup and come watch tv in the fort?

•

Mammon: Aaah, love. L.O.V.E.

Mammon: “L” is for life and what’s life without love?

Mammon: “O” is for…”Oh wow!”

Mammon: “V” is for this very surprising turn of events!

Mammon: “Eeeee” is for how extremely normal I find it that you and Diavolo are together!

•

Simeon: Thirteen, great name

Thirteen: You like that? You should hear my phone number.

•

Barbatos: Everything’s packed.

Beelzebub: Does that mean there’s nothing to eat?

Barbatos: I put three lasagnas in your freezer.

Beelzebub: I love you!

•

Belphegor: Sure you wanna eat that?

Mammon: …

Belphegor: …

Mammon: I’m curvy and I like it!

•

Barbatos: Your alfredo’s dry. Did you use your cheese?

Solomon: When you say “use” do you mean “eat as a pre-cooking snack?”

•

Raphael: Mammon saw a therapist?

Asmodeus: Yeah he used to have this reoccurring nightmare that really freaked him out.

Luke: Why? What was it?

Asmodeus: That Beelzebub was going to eat him.

#obey me shall we date #obey me a friends quotes #funny obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me solomon #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me barbatos #obey me beelzebub #obey me luke #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #obey me thirteen

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steriotypicaloutlaw · 2 years

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Some Resident Evil Headcanons

What they listen to while working on a project: Heisenberg- definitely Rob Zombie and Will Wood. Chris- Lemon Demon (but I've mentioned that before) and Arctic Monkeys. Ethan- 100% listens to just about anything but prefers The Scary Jokes and Glass Animals. Alcina- In This Moment and Alina Pash. Donna- Girl in Red and Abbey Glover. Moreau- Jack Stauber and Talley Hall. Angie- Paramour and My Chemical Romance. Daniella- Rammstein and Yungblud. Cassandra- Nascar Aloe and Mother Mother. Bela- Cavetown and I Don't Know How But They Found Me. Sturm: Steam Powered Giraffe and Creep-P The Duke- Poor Man's Poison and IC3PEAK Claire- Kiki Rockwell and Amanda Palmer Leon- Hozier and Sub Urban Mia- some weird obscure shit no one's heard of Rose- She a baby

Favorite foods: Heisenberg- Really likes sweets, a huge sweet tooth, his favorite however is Ethan's chocolate-caramel cheesecake. Chris- Chipotle Chicken Enchilada Bake, specifically made by Claire but he'll never tell her that. Ethan- Pizza Lasagna Alcina- Mămăligă Donna- Seafood Paella Moreau- Other than cheeses, he adores a wide number of delicacies Angie- Has no need for food and can't eat Daniella- Gogoși or Papanași Cassandra- Tochitură Moldovenească Bela- Ciorbă de fasole cu afumătură Sturm- Has no need for food and can't eat The Duke- No one knows, does he even eat?? Claire- Chicken Cacciatora Leon- Gas Station Tornados…. Mia- Lime Jello With Pineapple Rose- Strawberry Banana Baby Food

Favorite drinks: Heisenberg- Grape Kool-Aid (Why? Idk…) Chris- Cranberry Ginger Ale Ethan- Sour Cherry Soda Alcina- Blueberry Acai Berry Rooibos Tea Donna- Lavender and Rosehip Tea With a Little Honey Moreau- Guava Nectar Angie- Has no need for drinks and can't drink Daniella- Pomegranate and Mangosteen Flavored Aloe Cassandra- Belgian Mint Tea Bela- Blood Orange Tea Sturm- Has no need for drinks and can't drink The Duke- No one knows Claire- Brown Sugar Boba Milk Tea Leon- Pina Colada Slushies Mia- Cucumber-Lemon Water Rose- Milk?

A cute quirk: Heisenberg- Talks with his hands and always keeps candy in his pockets to eat throughout the day Chris- Holds forks with his whole ass fist Ethan- Plays with his mouth when concentrating and sprouts mushrooms when embarrassed or flustered. Alcina- Enunciates words as well as she can Donna- Drinks tea very often and has a habit of refusing to eat in front of strangers Moreau- Has a nose-twitch facial tic and he snorts when he laughs Angie- Fiercely loyal, hates being alone Daniella- Has a very bouncy way of walking and hums along to songs Cassandra- Picks at her nail polish and bites her nails Bela- Rocks back and forth when standing idly The Duke- Has a very distinctive loud laugh, like big, genuine, belly laughs that you always know it's him Claire- Twirls pens between her fingers when bored, thinking, etc. Leon- Tilts his head like a dog when confused Mia- Makes little humming noises when thinking Rose- She baby so whatever babies do… Jk, squeals when she yawns

A not-so-cute quirk: Heisenberg- Frequently avoids eye contact as it makes him nervous Chris- Is mildly obsessive over the neatness of his appearance Ethan- Walks too fast Alcina- INTENSE eye contact, gets right up in people's space when talking Donna- Sits so still and quiet that people often forget her and she scares them Moreau- Cries and whines a lot Angie- Has to be near someone at ALL times, like, right up on them Daniella- Walks too quietly and thus accidentally sneaks up on people Cassandra- Can't shut up, doesn't like total silence Bela- Never directly states what she wants, instead hints around to it The Duke- Always in everyone's business Claire- Talks a bit too fast a lot of the time and then has to repeat herself Leon- Eats in bed and while driving, making a bit of a mess while doing so Mia- ALWAYS has to have the last word Rose- Her temper tantrums are… dangerous...

#resident evil #karl heisenberg #ethan winters #resident evil angie #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #alcina dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #resident evil village #chris redfield #claire redfield #leon s kennedy #rosemary winters #resident evil mia #resident evil headcanon #resident evil headcanons

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seamandtcaskblog · 3 months

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While I wait for asks, here are some incorrect quotes!

Seam: I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself. Seam: *Picks up Tree-Cat* Seam: I’ve only befriended Tree-Cat for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then my self. Tree-Cat: What's this? Seam, hugging Tree-Cat: Affection! Tree-Cat: Disgusting. Tree-Cat: …Do it again. Tree-Cat: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog". Seam: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this? Seam: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. Tree-Cat: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station. Seam: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper? Seam: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Tree. Tree-Cat: A banker? Me? Seam: Yes, Tree. Tree-Cat: But I don’t know anything about running a bank! Seam: Good. No preconceived ideas. Tree-Cat: I’ve robbed banks! Seam: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside. Tree-Cat: This is Seam, they’re… not my assistant, some other word. Seam: I’m their carer. Tree-Cat: Yeah, my carer. They care so I don’t have to. Tree-Cat: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Seam: …What??? Seam: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? Tree-Cat: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Seam: Tree-Cat: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this. Tree-Cat: When I first got my ADHD diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Seam made me get tested. *Seam and Tree-Cat looking at a locked gate into a park* Seam: Aw. :( Tree-Cat: You know what they say. Seam: Please don’t- Tree-Cat: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate* Seam: Frick-Seam: *looks over Tree-Cat’s shoulder at their laptop* What the fuck? Tree-Cat: *slams screen shut* It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it! Seam: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs? Tree-Cat: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know! Seam: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction. Tree-Cat, offendedly: You don’t know that! Seam: I hear no denial. Seam: You know what’s funny about Tree-Cat? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably. Tree-Cat: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life. Seam: Please never become a surgeon. Tree-Cat: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Seam: Tree-Cat: Seam: …Please, go back to bed.

Generator I used here

#incorrect quotes #deltarune #seam deltarune #seam #deltarune oc

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leelei1980 · 1 year

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Part 5- Made For You

Happy Anniversary 🌶️

🛑Mature 18+ Minors DNI🛑

Eddie

This past week has been amazing, I don't think I have ever been happier. Leaving Hawkins to move here with Ronnie was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Here I'm Eddie Munson, Veronica Montgomery's boyfriend, new employee at Rockin Robs Music Emporium, Musician, and all around nice guy, not Eddie Munson, Freak, delinquent, trouble maker. It was refreshing having a clean slate, no judgement.

Today was my first day of training at the Music Emporium, which despite the dorky name was actually one of the coolest music stores I have ever been too. They sell musical instruments of all kinds, music books and even records. It's perfect. They put me in the guitar section thank god, then there is Ross in drums, and Kevin in woodwinds and brass, Richard in strings and keyboards. The place is massive.

I took my key out of my pocket and unlocked the door." Honey, I'm home!"

The apartment was dark accept for the light of a ton of candles throughout the kitchen and living room. Dinner, which smelled amazing was laid out on the counter as well as flowers and plates with fancy napkins. I smiled to myself.

Ronnie walked out all dolled up wearing a little black dress, that hugged her curves in all the right places,she looked amazing. She smiled. " Happy Anniversary baby."

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and kissed her lips."Our Anniversary was a couple weeks ago."

" I know baby but you were still in Hawkins and we didn't get to celebrate. So I figured we could now! I know your kind of a homebody so I decided we could just do a fancy night in."

I smiled. " It's perfect. Dinner smells absolutely wonderful."

She smiled." I made us a salad, and vegetable lasagna. And before you turn your nose up at it Edward Eugene Munson, you've got to try it!"

" What?" I asked innocently.

" I saw you wrinkle your nose when I said vegetable- expand your horizons. I think you will like it. And it isn't all veggies, I did put meat in it for you. We need to incorporate veggies into your diet baby."

I pulled her closer." Always looking out for me. I am sure I will love it."

"If you don't I got a frozen pizza."

I kissed the top of her head." God I love you."

She smiled up at me." I love you too. Now go sit down and relax, I will bring in a plate for you!"

I went and sat down on the couch as directed and watched her fix our plates. She was so goddamn cute, super meticulous about everything she did, arranging food on the plates, cutting the loaf of Italian bread in perfectly even slices, making little bowls of salad with just the right amount of croutons.

She caught me watching her." What's that shit eating grin for?"

" Your fucking adorable."

" I was going for sexy but I'll take adorable."

" No Princess, your body is fucking slamming in that dress."

" Aww Eddie, your so romantic. You have such a way with words." She smiled at me.

I smirked. "I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. Its just the way arrange everything so perfectly, it's adorable."

" You like this dress?"

"I like you in everything you wear. "

" I contemplated wearing nothing but your leather jacket, but that would have been dangerous around the oven."

I threw my head back," If you had done that our dinner would have gotten cold because I wouldn't have been able to help myself."

" Kind of like me with the Pirate costume."

"Exactly like that."

She brought in a salad bowl and plate for me , set it down then got hers. She sat next to me and bit her lip, eyes on me while I tried a bite of the lasagna. It was delicious.

" That's fucking good!"

She looked relieved." I am glad you like it!" She took a bite herself and nodded. " I don't know how to make a whole lot but this is good. I think I need to get some more recipes from my Mom. So we can switch it up."

" What did you make when it was just you here alone?"

" Cereal or salad. The first two weeks I was so stressed out I barely ate. Just kind of grabbed things here and there."

I set my fork down."Baby, why didn't you say anything? I could have been here for you! I noticed that you lost weight but I didn't want to say anything. You were that stressed out?"

Ronnie shrugged." I wanted to be independent, deal with it on my own. I knew that the stress and anxiety was just a temporary thing. Once I knew where I was going, and started classes and I got into routine I was fine. "

" Sweetheart, you shouldn't have gone through that alone!" My heart hurt for her.

She put her hand on my leg and smiled." Eddie this is why I didn't tell you. You would have freaked out. I am fine, especially now. Please Baby, don't worry about it."

" Promise me you will always let me know when you are anxious or stressed."

" I promise."

I put my plate down on the coffee table and slid my arm around her. "Baby,"

She put her plate down and gave me a big hug." I shouldn't have said anything," she sighed. " This is supposed to be our Anniversary celebration! "

" Your right Princess, you worked hard on this meal and it is amazing. I feel bad because I didn't do anything to contribute to this celebration." I started eating again.

" The fact that you are here with me, that you chose to come and change your whole life for me means so much."

" Veronica, this is the best decision I have ever made. Well, other than kissing you that day in your basement and letting you know how I really felt." I smiled at her.

" If you hadn't kissed me that day I think I would have snapped shortly after. Those study sessions were driving me crazy. I was staring at your lips more than I was the books."

" I was staring at your tits more that I was the books." I winked. " It has been quite a year. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I seriously feel like I'm complete now, you were what I was missing.."

" Munson, your going to make me cry."

" Was it the tits comment? Don't be sad, I still stare at them." I knew she loved it when I was a smartass. " I want to stare at them now but I am eating and don't want to choke."

" Fucker." She smirked."How was your day?"

I smiled, " It was good. The guys at work are pretty cool, except Richard, he's a Dick."

Ronnie laughed." That was hilarious!"

" I'm glad you appreciated it. But really, it was good. Rob is a nice guy. He encourages us to play the instruments to draw people in and to inspire people to pick up an instrument. So I essentially get paid to play the guitar. With the other guys there it is basically like band practice. "

" Maybe you guys could start a band, play at one of the lounges?"

I finished my dinner and brought my plate to the sink,." That would be Awesome."

" I'll go and be your bodyguard. I'll keep those bitches away."

" I only have eyes for you doll face." I walked over to the tape deck that was on a little stand in the corner of the room and popped in the tape that was on the stand beside it. I pressed play.

" My gooey I love Eddie Munson mix." She put her plate down and hopped up.

'Your the inspiration' By Chicago started playing. I extended my hand to her, which she quickly accepted. I pulled her in and dipped her, she giggled and it made my heart flutter. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body close. She snuggled against my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck and we swayed to the music. I nuzzled into her , completely intoxicated by her scent, her warmth. I kissed her neck and heard her sigh.

" Is there anything better than this? I could dance with you all night long."

" Well maybe not ALL night, there maybe one more thing I can think of that's better than this."

She tilted her head up and looked at me with those beautiful long lashed eyes, a smile on her lips . I leaned down and kissed her soft lips deeply. She stood up on her tip toes and pulled me down closer to intensify the kiss.

I have never wanted anyone more than I want her. There had been other girls, but there had never been anything more than just sex. With Veronica there was physical and emotional connection that made it so good every single time. It didn't matter if it was a completely frantic, ripping each others clothes off or soft and slow , savoring every moment. It was always amazing.

I ran my hands up her back until I found the zipper on her dress, I slowly pulled it down.

She dropped her arms from around my neck so I could slide the dress off her shoulders, down her arms. The dress slipped to the floor.I could feel goosebumps as I ran my hands down her back, my rings gliding over her soft skin. She shivered. Her body responding to my touch. She took the hem of my shirt and pulled it up and over my head and dropped it to the floor. She lightly kissed my throat, my shoulders, my chest, she flicked my nipple with her tongue and smiled as she ran her hand over the growing bulge in my jeans.This time I had goosebumps.

Veronica pulled away for a moment, and I took that opportunity to look her over . Black lacy bra and a black thong, Holy.Fucking. Shit. She looked up at me, bit her lip and unclasped her bra. She knew exactly what she was doing.

" Fuck."

She smiled. " What?"

" I think is time for that something better." I scooped her up in my arms, she giggled." Enough teasing." I carried her off to our room and laid her on the bed. She was feeling brassy tonight, I could tell. I had a surprise in store for her, "Remember earlier tonight when you said we needed to expand our horizons?"

She raised her eyebrows and smirked at me." What do you have in mind Munson?"

I smiled slyly at her and opened up the closet door. I rifled through some boxes I hadn't unpacked yet and finally found what I had been looking for. " Are you feeling adventurous tonight Sweetheart?"

" What do you have in mind baby?"

I turned around, a pair of handcuffs dangling from my finger. I saw her eyes go wide." We don't have to-"

" I'm in."

" Are you sure?"

"100%."

I slowly walked up to her, a smirk on my face." Are you going to be a good girl?"

" What if I'm not?"

Jesus fucking Christ. " I guess you are about to find out, aren't you Darling?"

*************************************

Veronica

" Princess? Are you getting up?"

I felt light kisses fluttering my face, I smiled and slowly opened my eyes. Eddie was sitting beside me, a sweet smile on his face. He leaned down and lightly kissed my lips.

"Good morning baby, what are you doing up? I'm always awake before you!" I smiled up at him.

" I know but I wanted to do something special for you." He hopped off the bed and grabbed a takeout cup of coffee off my dresser and a little white box." I got you breakfast in bed."

I wrapped myself in my blanket and sat up, back against the headboard. " That is so sweet!" I pat the bed beside me."Join me."

" I got you a Maple Latte, I don't know what the fuck it is but I know you like sweet fancy drinks , and you like maple syrup so I took a chance."

I waited for him to climb in beside me then lightly blew inside the cup to cool it down. I took a sip, it was amazing."That is good. Try a sip."

He wrinkled his nose." It's all you, I'm more of a hot chocolate type of guy."

" Aren't we all about trying new things and broadening our horizons?" I smirked and raised an eyebrow as I jingled the handcuffs still attached to the headboard. Last night was unexpected and amazing, not that it has ever been anything but amazing. I certainly didn't see handcuffs and blindfold on the agenda for last night, one minute we were dancing , the next minute I was handcuffed to the bed with a blindfold on and Eddie was in charge. He was so gentle , checking in on me, making sure that I was comfortable and that my arms and wrists were ok, but the tone of his voice, his commands, my body was lit up as he teased me, made me beg for more. I hadn't ever experienced anything quite like it. And I thought he couldn't possibly get any more sexy, I sighed. My stomach do flip flops just thinking of it. I could feel my face getting hot.

A sly smile spread across his face." You were a very good girl last night."He straddled me and took my face in his hands and kissed me." I was so fucking nervous. I was afraid I would scare you off."

" Baby I trust you. I knew I was in good hands, really fucking amazingly talented hands. My senses were tingling."

He sat back down beside me." You seemed to be in a playful mood last night so I went for it."

I held the cup up to his lips and he took a sip, raised his eyebrows in surprise."Good isn't it?"

" Surprisingly enough." He opened up the bakery box and offered me a donut, I chose a glazed. He went straight for the chocolate frosted with sprinkles.

I took a bite, swallowed then asked." So I know I lived an extremely sheltered life, but how on earth at the ripe old age of 20 did you develop a kink for handcuffs. Like that didn't just come out of nowhere? "

He sat back and ate his donut," It's a long story."

" Is it an off limits story?"

" Baby, we have no secrets." He paused." There was this woman, she took an interest in me,"

" Like an adult woman?"

" Yes. Being a horny fucking 17 year old boy when someone shows an interest and there is an opportunity to have sex well-"

" 17? And some grown ass woman was using you for sex? Baby that's wrong. "

" We both got something we wanted out of it. It was consensual. She liked being handcuffed, I had no fucking idea what to do, she told me what she wanted me to do and I did it. "

" Did she ever put them on you?"

"Yeah, I didn't like that as much."

I stared at him, " This whole thing is blowing my mind right now. How did you meet her?"

He chuckled." After a show.."

" Your kidding me. Did she just walk up to you like hey kid, your hot wanna go back to my place and tie me up?"

" Not quite, she pursued me, she struck up conversation after a show, told me how awesome I was at playing guitar, I mean who doesn't want to hear that? She started going to our shows--"

" She stalked you-"

" You make it sound so creepy. She was actually quite lovely."

" She was actually a Predator ."

He laughed." Baby it really wasn't as bad as it may sound to you. I craved attention, affection, she gave it to me."

" It makes me sad that all the women in your life just used you for sex! You always joked about my Mom and now that I know you really do have a thing for older woman I'm going to have to watch out."

Eddie laughed." Your Mom is hot."

I whacked him with my pillow.

He laughed." Hey, hey hey!" He pulled me onto his lap."That is why what we have is so special. It's a real relationship, with friendship, trust and love. Real love." He kissed me . " We have an emotional connection baby. That why it's not just sex with us, it's making love."

I took his hands in my face and looked into his big brown beautiful eyes. " You are so sweet, I love you so much. I promise that I will give you all the love and affection that I have to give because your such an amazing soul and you deserve it." I kissed him.

" Everything I have is yours." This time he kissed me and as he pulled away he smiled." Except for maybe that Boston cream donut. “

“ That too is all yours.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfic

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