#like legit the most disgusting fucking concept

[beetlegoose01]

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A Foot Too Big Ending Rewrite

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~•~

Donatello stood tall, resting his palms against the mahogany banister barely keeping the porch, let alone the entire cabin together. He found himself listening to the sounds of the woods. The wind wisps about, the birds chirping their midday song, and the rustling of leaves flowing in the breeze. 

He closed his eyes. He had never experienced anything like this. Being in nature was a foreign concept, having lived in the sewers of New York City for most of his life. And the moments he did leave the sewers, he and his brothers were left to deal with robots, ninjas, and mutants. 

And now, apparently Bigfoot too. 

If someone had approached him saying Bigfoot was real, that all the conspiracy theories from those podcasts he listened to were actually legit, he would have believed it without a second thought. He was a mutant turtle after all. Nothing surprised him anymore.

 Yet despite this, he was still utterly surprised at seeing how Bigfoot truly was. It- no, she was an enigma in her own right. 

She was no mythological creature made up by bored humans to scare others and spread conspiracy theories. She was real. She was real and alive and...obsessed with him. To a creepy degree. She was affectionate, sensitive, trailing him around like a hungry puppy looking for a snack. It was tiresome. It was embarrassing. 

"Now you know how April feels." Raph's voice echoed in his mind. 

He knew what that meant. It took a while, but he finally did. He was Bigfoot to April. A disgusting, sad individual who followed her around and embarrassed her. It was why she cringed after he made her the music box gift. It was also why she smiled at him, and hugged him with some devotion, but no true love behind her eyes. 

He had fucked up. Badly. 

"Hey stranger!" April chirped from behind him. 

"Gah!" He yelped in surprise.

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I...thought you heard me walk outside. Guess these slippers are too quiet." She gestured to her rainbow narwhal slippers. 

Even with how beautiful she was, he felt sick to his stomach. 

"Everything alright? You look as concerned as Mikey did when I told him we ran out of frozen pizza last night." 

That made him chuckle a bit. "Yeah I'm fine. It's been...a weird day. 

April snorted.  "You can say that again. 

With mischief dancing in his eyes, he said it again.  "It's been a weird day."

"Smartass." 

He smirked. "It's what I do best. So...listen, about earlier---" His expression turned to that of pleading and anxious. "I'm sorry about the music box. I thought you would like it, and I dunno, I wanted to show my appreciation for you and it backfired and made me look desperate and-" 

April's expression softened. "Donnie, please."

He couldn't help but hide his face in shame. "You must hate me now." 

"No, Donnie, I could never...I would never hate you. Ever. You're one of my best friends in the whole world. I- I know I haven't exactly been the greatest friend ever, but I want you to know that I appreciate you guys so much. Even when I've acted off, you've always stuck by my side. I know it hasn't been easy to deal with me.

We've been through so much. So much loss."  

Donnie realized that she was not only talking about her father, but Splinter, and the city too. 

April exhaled. "Before Leo woke up, I was terrified we would lose him too. And that...we could all lose each other at any point. And that scares me so much." Her voice trembled slightly. 

Donnie's heart wanted to hug her. To comfort her, to let her know that he would never leave her. But something in the back of his mind held him back, to listen. 

"Donnie, I'm scared I'm going to lose you," She whispered. 

"You won't." He assured her without missing a single beat. 

"I already have."

Donnie blinked incredulously. "What? No, no, no you haven't. I'm right here, I promise, I will never leave you. You can count on me." 

April traced the banister with one fingertip, not looking back at him. "I've been having visions late at night when I can't sleep. They were like nightmares, but instead of forgetting them in the morning, they stuck around. And they're so clear and vivid too, I can't possibly forget them." She turned towards the stars, squinting as though she was recalling everything in her head. 

"I feel tension. Hatred. Discomfort. And then...nothing. Like it all disappears. You're all gone." 

"Gone?" He echoed. 

"Yes, gone. Like I said, it's only visions. But sometimes, I worry that it's already happening. You know---" She pointed towards herself, then back at him. "Your whole vendetta with Casey."

Donnie winced. "Oh...with me and Casey." He swallowed and folded his hands. "It's, well, I thought you knew but ah... The truth is April, I like you a lot. As in, more than friends." His cheeks heated up. "I realized Casey had feelings for you too, and I guess I felt jealous. I went to extreme measures just to get you to notice me." 

April's eyes widened, stunned. "Oh Donnie...I'm so sorry I---" 

"I know, I understand now after I dealt with Bigfoot. I'm this sad thing that follows you around. I'm just a mutant." 

"What? Donnie, I'm a mutant too! Have you already forgotten that?" 

"That's different, you're---"

"Human passing, I know, and I will never truly understand the struggles you and your brothers have gone through. Our experiences will always be different, but my point still stands." 

She reached out her hand, but the purple turtle pulled his away. "What about Casey?" Donnie asked. 

She frowned. "What about him?" 

"Ever since he joined our group, he's been...closer with you. I always felt so frustrated and angry, and maybe a little jealous. It's like he was intentionally getting under my skin by flirting with you." 

"Right..." April couldn't hide the slight discomfort in her expression. 

"And I guess I assumed you liked it. Him. You like him." 

She groaned. "I feel like no matter what answer I say will be the wrong one."

Donnie stared at her, startled. "What? 

"Like I'm a mouse running through a maze, but all the corners are closed in."

"That's not true--- it's your feelings." 

"Is it?" April chuckled half-hardheartedly to herself. "You just said how Casey made you feel uncomfortable every time he was friendly with me. Because we're friends." Donnie was surprised to see her scoff, almost cynical with her response.  "It was never about my own feelings, it was all about you and Casey's. Because if I pick one of you, the other will be upset. And if I pick neither? Then I've ruined everything." 

"But why do I have to make the big decisions? Why do we have to make everything so complicated? I just want to get along with everyone. I wanted friends, I wanted ...a family I---" Her voice cracked, and Donnie swore he could see her eyes glisten with tears that she roughly rubbed away. "I'm ..." 

"April...I'm so sorry." 

"Don't. Please. I don't want to hear it. I just want it to stop. I want my dad back. I want our home and...our lives to be normal again. I want to stop the Kraang and remain friends forever." 

Donnie nodded firmly. "I want to fix this." 

"I should be the one apologizing.  I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Especially after everything we've been through. I guess...I was just so focused on impressing you, and making you like me that I lost sight of what's really important." He smiled. "The bond we have as friends." 

April lifted her head slowly. 

"I know....words can't repair what I've done. I know I've hurt you.  But if you'd rather be friends, then that's cool with me."

"Really?" 

"I respect your feelings too much to let you get worked up over something like this. I actually like us being friends more, now that I think about it."

"Oh..." She wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. "I'm so relieved to hear that, D. I'll tell Casey too!"

The truth was, nothing had changed between them. Their friendship and love for each other was as strong as ever. 

Perhaps even stronger. 

#this is my way of calling out the 2012 April haters #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #donatello #tmnt donatello #donatello hamato #april o neil #not apriltello #tmnt april #tmnt april o neil

[squirrelwrangler]

Just found your blog by chance and I can see your hatred for the Feanorians, but while I'm a fan of Maedhros (yes, I am, and I still read through all your posts, because even though he's my favourite; my only acceptable characterization of him is that of an anti-hero at first that witnesses a fall and turns into a villain at the end. He's antagonistic, prideful, and manipulative even at his best, and I don't read his best moments as done out of goodwill. He's Machiavellian to me.) Maglor is much more lionized by the fandom. Maedhros is accepted as problematic, and it's only the loud minority who seems to turn him into a heroic figure, but Jesus are Maglor's fans annoying. Him aDoPtInG the twins is not something worth praising, nor is his last conversation with Maedhros. He's a delusional prick who only tries to gain some self-awareness when it's too late, only for it to be wishful thinking and extreme cognitive dissonance. Yet go on any post or YouTube video, and you'll see the majority mentioning him as a favourite of theirs because "he's kind and remorseful because he adopts the twins!" Yes, adopts them by giving them freaking Stockholm syndrome! It's fucking disgusting honestly.

AHEM. Back in..2003/4 that first year after I read the Silm, I was more sympathetic to Maglor and the Kidnap Family aspect of the story was mroe appealing, but even back then I wasn't totally on board with it or ignoring how messed-up it was, and I hated even the whiff of victim-blaming or negativity towards both Elwing and Eärendil. My tolerance for Maglor and the framing of the twins' abduction lessened until it fell off a cliff. Because it wasn't instant dislike like Fëanor (and Maedhros was always apathetic disinterest to dislike, I would legit forget he was a character in the Silm sometimes), I try to keep a kernel of grace for his misguided fans ;p. More seriously, my disdain and avoidance of the serious Maglor and Maedhros fandom lionization alternates between which one irks me more at the moment, aka which pierces the Girdle. Both via fanart annoy me, but Maglor moreso in fics because I have less than zero interest in the very popular and omnipresent fics that Maedhros dominates. And Maedhros fanart is more common when his supposed hotness feels like fandom gaslighting. But the glorious thing about avoiding interacting with 99% of the Silm and wider Tolkien fandom unless they come to my blog is that said annoyed rants about the Fëanorians petered off. (Now if only I could expunge my XIV feed from Emet Selch and that fandom's distressing widespread embrace of various war crimes favs; it's worse than GoT/House of the Dragon)

One day I'll write the story of my OC, Maedhros's husband and his eventual divorce, because the character concept is one I'm as fond of as Meril and through him it gives me the single hook to make Maedhros personally interesting. Aside from that, Maglor exists for me for that one story about him manipulating his brothers and choking them and how he appears in the Bór sub-series as the Fëanorian rightfully identified as most dangerous and most deluded by his self-pity. And the Nandor rescue squad saving the twins.

#replies #really not nice to the fëanorians #they deserve my scorn

[galacticnova3]

Schlurp schlurp schlorp *sound of me sucking Iru dry*

Ok listen I know it’s supposed to be haha funny but like. Ridiculous or nonsensical stuff is fine, and the occasional raunchy or suggestive thing is one thing… but this is just actual NSFW. One of the tamer ones, sure, but consider the fact that like. You just anonymously sent someone an ask about sucking off their semi-joke oc when it has repeatedly been established that’s not even possible nor something they want to think about. I know I haven’t really communicated a hard “do not send me x” guideline since I usually just delete uncomfortable asks instead of posting them and have faith people can be reasonable, but evidently a. that isn’t enough to get across the fact that I’m not interacting with that sort of content regardless of how much is sent, and b. people being reasonable is an unfair expectation. So, to make myself clear:

Genuinely, I would appreciate a reprieve from asks like this.

Further elaboration under the cut.

Just stick to ruining tortillas, or anons’ shared misogynist tortilla oc, or giving Iru pants, or bullying him, or just whatever random stuff you want that wouldn’t literally count as porn/fetish material when viewed through a lens of being taken seriously.

Or, y’know, send actual asks about him that I can do stuff with besides suffer or joke about! There is more to Iru than “that ugly disgusting incel dude Av made who also accidentally passes the sexyman test”, believe it or not! Iru is a character who is developed enough that I can and have written him in both rp situations and at least two drabbles/oneshots. I like getting the opportunity to talk about him as a character and not just a throwaway joke; he started as one but now there’s some actual substance to him. I enjoy getting stuff that prompts me to think of more stuff about him, and really any of my characters or characters I make headcanons for. It gets boring and kinda upsetting to see someone I’ve put thought and effort into get reduced to just a name to pair with inappropriate or downright disgusting things.

Again, mildly inappropriate stuff is fine. As much as I joke about deriving nothing but suffering from it on discord, just basic “haha iru tittie” jokes don’t really bother me. Just… no more stuff that walks the line where it’s not obvious if it’s a joke or not. If you’re not sure if it does just stick a /j or other clarification on there, or ask if the subject is too much beforehand. I’m not gonna get mad at anons who ask to know what does and doesn’t cross boundaries, but it is upsetting when there’s no effort to check if something is ok or not at all before sending it. Be reasonable, y’know? If you wouldn’t send it unprompted to a family member who knows where you live, or you’re not sure if you would or wouldn’t, just check first. Doesn’t have to be difficult, just a “does x bother you in a clearly joking context?” or even just “are you ok with x?” should be enough in most cases.

I guess as a baseline for the future: legit fetish stuff (vore, mpreg, inflation, etc) always crosses into uncomfortable territory, as does graphic descriptions of sexual or implied sexual activities taking place*. (No, unfortunately, none of those things are generic examples, I received Iru asks involving all of them.) This stuff is not something I’m ok with, even if it’s clearly a joke; regardless of intentions, if it’s on anon it is not consensual. Not that I do consent to it being sent off anon— I don’t want to see it at all. Please just keep it to yourself if you must think about it, I can’t judge you for what I don’t know nor can I be bothered by it.

*That aren’t inherently nonsensical. As an example: fucking pita bread or having kids with a tortilla; both are horrible and cursed concepts, but also so ridiculous that the sexual component only exists because of the specific wording. This is up to my discretion, but basically applies to anything that isn’t either alive, sentient/self-aware, or a sex toy/sex toy shaped. That being said, ideally I would prefer to just not get sexual asks about Iru.

#ask to tag #asks #rambling #not sfw #suggestive #lemme know if I need more specific tags

[rurifangirl]

CHARACTER ASKSSS <33

for calipso, ymir and shou. you can pick and choose which you'd like to answer/leave out

4) How did you find the name for a certain character?

10) Do any of your OCs contain any symbolism in themselves/their story?

21) What is one of your character's biggest fears?

24) Are there any preexisting characters that your OC gets compared too a lot?

35) Which OC would beat you up if they met you IRL? -> Would this OC beat you up if they met you IRL? (i will kill them if so)

not too many questions, i hope you enjoy nevertheless <3

I've really enjoyed this and am glad, thank you so much again <3

4) How did you find the name for a certain character?

Shhdjskdj if I have to be honest, I chose Shou's name because of fantasy name generator 😭😭😭 LISTENN but I did modify It because It was "Shuu", and twisted It around and made another with the same pronounce.

Ymir's was because,, haha funny lesbian in aot that i luv sm and that looks very alike,,,

And I don't remember why Calipso. I just wanted to name someone like that wvhdjsj

10) Do any of your OCs contain any symbolism in themselves/their story?

OHHH DEFINETLY, ESPECIALLY SHOU AND CALIPSO hope i won't ramble too much (edit HOLY SHIT IM SORRY I'LLSGDGJST)

Edit: Shou's case is more of an oroborous so ty sm sunny for telling me

In Shou's case, It holds for the concept of not being able to search for help, nor being able to talk about himself. This grown even hate and disgust that got up in all these years, and has pretty much got the exact image of his snake self. Even that by itself Is sort of a representation of his mental state, which though he's gained 'control' over It, doesn't mean he's really behind that, at all. In fact, it's only gotten worse. And yet he doesn't show anything, because he has to keep that picture perfect image, and only few actually seeing through that and doing the best they can. But, he sort of hates that. He wants to resolve everything by himself like he's always had and, though he doesn't dislike help, he doesn't want to be fixed by It. Even in his group, Shou struggles a lot with his true intentions and thoughts, twisting them if that meant to seem more secure and cold. And though y'know yeah fuck It, even eating people Is part of it. Not the most part but, moreso the guilt of having soccombed so many lives for his own gain and having felt legit pleasure at times.. Needless to say that, him 200 years ago and him now are two very different people, almost opposites at that. And fuck i thik it's enough for nowhehdj

For Calipso's case, it revolves a shit ton on the concept of being left alone. I haven't gotten their post ready yet but, let's just say that he doesn't have the best experience with it. But I think the most important part Is legit their and Ymir's meeting after he becomes a Reeder in order to save her. To clarify, Ymir didn't know they've done to save them so, It was just a misunderstanding for some time. Plus, she was quite frankly horrified and, this close onto walking away. To which, Calipso was even more anxious and panicked, because Ymir Is the one who's ever wanted to stay among them. And her leaving him, would lead to nothing but a deep sense of emptyness. Now, don't count that later on this gets resolved well and they bond again, but they basically resemble that fear of being left alone because of your changes. Which I've realized it's kinda what happened w me but i digress, ive self projected on them too. I'm sparing ya onto talking about Ymir cus this Is pretty long by itself

21) What is one of your character's biggest fears?

Since I've talked a lot of Calipso n Shou, one of Ymir's biggest fears is having someone they care for to die because of her. They don't want to be the reason for someone's death, and would try to do her best to not have someone lost again.

They also have an irrational fear of spiders and thunderstorms, though the second one Is because of how many times she's been left alone, in the cold and night.

24) Are there any preexisting characters that your OC gets compared too a lot?

I don't think so?? If someone wants to compare em then sure but, most I've seen Is Rui bein compared to Ruri purely aesthetic wise sohsgdjsj

35) Which OC would beat you up if they met you IRL? -> Would this OC beat you up if they met you IRL? (i will kill them if so)

CAPABILITY WISE, they all could, no doubts.

But I think the only one who would actually try to beat me up would be Ymir. If I stand in her way id stand in her way y'know, and though they wouldn't definetly kill me, id still get beaten up.

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @nadi-117 @audre-falrose @damnfoxx

#ruruasks #rurusocs #oc #ocs #my ocs stuff #oc rambles #shou #calipso #ymir #oc asks🌸

[sugar-petals]

Can I just say baekhyun's oral fixation is going to be the death of me

ikr. it just goes on and on, he’s bombarding us with it all day, every chance he gets. 

(i’m already warning you, this thread goes HARD. scroll past while you still can 😂)

look. it’s always the same. camera on, baekhyun’s brain: time to put my whole mouth and hands to work ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

boy got really nice teeth by the way

the entire delight concept consists of nipping and nibbling on sweet things it’s... frustrating to say the very least

in fact. fuck this man, he’s just using every excuse he can get to lick and bite things in public!!

the whole fandom knows how the inside of his mouth looks like, i can’t believe i’m writing this. 

like. you know how to spot the freaks in exo... fuck’s sake, he hits us with the lip bite and has this obsessive stare!!

(and he’s still not even the wildest thing that’s going on in this gifset)

baekhyun makes even the most innocent things suggestive and we’re supposed to just look at it. THE HELL

literally, the greed in his eyes.

... glorious. i want this as a tattoo.

but it’s not just ahegao as if that’s not filthy enough, blink once and baekhyun is somewhere deepthroating his fingers!!

((RIP baek’s oral fixation during covid mind you these pictures are all from way before))

so this guy. is legit. stretching and teasing his mouth with all kinds of things on live broadcast.

not gonna lie, i love it when he’s stuffing himself. these portions are gigantic.

until he gets teary eyes. the masochism of him 😵

he tortures himself with spicy food and cries on national television...

and even casually stabs his tongue with forks and enjoys it EYE

... and is so cute and flirty at the same time??

folks: we stan a dirty man. disgusting, lusty, lewd and wicked. the full oral insanity.

that’s right jongin beat him!!

and rest assured. each bbh-l is 100% aware that he’s doing all of this. they likely bias him because of it. so you can imagine who you’re dealing with. every baek stan knows they’re in it because there’s always something going on with his damn mouth. if it’s not singing or moaning the adlibs, 10/10 it’s something else nasty.

and @ sm, just put our man into horny jail. that he’s doing it as if it’s nothing just makes it worse.

he’s already passing it down to the next generation, give me fucking break.

#anon #ask #cub mail 🐆 #baekhyun #baekhyun thread #exo #exo thread #long post #taeyong #yuta #nct #thread #delight #if his craft falls into more unhinged hands we're done for

[whoaffle]

Today a person of my family was complimenting and admiring Bozos' stupid-ass fucking penis-shaped rocket...

They kept talking about how it's "amazing" and "genius" and whatever... They were really impressed by the whole "show" and by the technology used and I GET that on one hand, because it IS something different and new and it is impressive (which doesn't mean it is good, I'll develop later), and this person is much older than me and they kept insisting on how, for them, in the past, this would have sounded impossible and how it's amazing that it's happening! That one person would manage to fund that by himself and not a whole country! (which again, impressive, NOT good. The fact that ONE person has the same amount of money as a large country, while others are poorer and poorer every day... The slow erasure of a middle class as social inequality becomes more and more severe every day... The fact that all this money was conquered by exploiting several poorly paid workers in shitty jobs with bad conditions... All those are symptoms of a DEATHLY ill economic system that not only has gone WRONG already but still insists on pretending to be functional while dragging down everyone along with it to the absolute limit before it collapses entirely on itself, leaving a painful scar on the people it took advantage of AND on the planet it has exploited for so long).

Going back to the point, I get it that "space travel" is a magical sci-fi dream for many people, both young and old, and that older people who think differently from most of us young adult Tumblr users would be super impressed by it, BUT... This is still so... So bad! Most of it - if not everything about it - is such an absurd scenario!

Well, knowing by previous experience that criticizing Bezos' amount of money and how he acquired it would be useless and that he'd end up defended anyways, I tried criticizing the ecological aspect of the whole thing first! But the answer I got was "Hah! A lot of stuff pollutes the world much more and no one talks about it", which, like... 1- Your point being?? That's no excuse to ignore absolutely useless shit like this polluting the earth even more just so billionaires can feel special because they can go to space while millions of people starve, die and suffer. Besides the fact that insisting on investing in this kind of technology instead of trying to prioritize Eco-friendly technologies and research is PRECISELY why a lot of other things pollute so much more - because every time someone comes up with something new they insist on not giving a fuck about the environmental aspect of their tech... So both the issues are correlated, this is not a "different thing that is less important" this is ONE of the symptoms. And 2 - Yes we DO talk about it, very often, all the time, and we hate it, and criticize it, and wish it would change. How many younger people are legit extremely worried about the environment and about the several ways governments, industries and other large-scale processes like that damage the environment? Damn, we DO complain about those!

But OK. Didn't wanna argue, so I started just using my phone instead... Then another person joins the conversation. The two of them are now like "This technology may not be put to good use now, the Space Tourism is a bad idea and it's stupid... BUT they could use the same device for other kinds of travel! Something from the technology used here could be used later for useful projects! Imagine, we could use the same rocket type tech to make commercial international flights, for example!" and I was silently thinking "Yeah right and emit even MORE useless pollution just because people wanna get to other places EVEN faster! And just because some idiots who have the money would pay THAT MUCH to be able to go faster to Paris or whatever!"

That is NOT NECESSARY and it is not SUSTAINABLE, it is not viable in long-term! Why would we use this kind of shit that is MORE expensive and MORE pollution-emitting?? Because it's faster?? Well let me tell you something then! Being faster is not only unnecessary but in this context we are living right now, it's A BAD IDEA, because our society is ALREADY deeply sick about the need to speed up literally everything and everyone has anxiety and is unable to wait a single second for anything, and so they expect faster and faster results every time, and companies - who LOVE not giving a shit about workers' mental health and well-being - expect more and more and more in less time! And this adds up pressure and stress on people's lives - which, by the way, is one of the things THIS very person from my family always complains about 'modern days'... The fact is that if traveling between continents FASTER became an actual accessible thing, that would probably just become another stupid insane standard for our already impossible-to-keep-up-with lives! Because if you travel abroad so quickly, then you are expected to get back to work on the same day and fuck jet-lag... Or anything similar! I don't know!

Anyway, I did go on a tangent here because I'm so angry and I started ranting over my rant. Let me go back to the POINT.

I was silent all the time as they kept talking about it, because honestly, no matter what I replied, they'd be like "You're too radical!", "don't exaggerate", "there are much worse things" and SPECIALLY "but the scientific advancement!"

And my WHOLE POINT HERE is that this is NOT "advancement"! It is scientific creation, development even if you will, but not "advancement"! Because it emits ridiculous amounts of carbon and other kinds of pollution in a planet that is already suffering so much environmentally and literally CANNOT HANDLE that anymore!

It is not advancement if its so expensive that only the 1% people (who hold most the money in the world) can pay for it, while billions of others just watch and starve and die in floods and fires CAUSED by that sort of shit!

That’s not "advancement"! That is fucking technological masturbation coming from egocentric morons who only want to get more money and show off!

Advancement would be coming up with actual, real solutions that help people in their daily lives! Advancement would be coming up with technologies and solutions that would work BETTER for everyone and not just to fill billionaire's asses with MORE money! It would be to find new ways to do what we do today without destroying the environment, or finding new cheaper ways to produce products and services so that more people can have access to them! And this is the absolute OPPOSITE of that! It is insisting on a way of doing things that is outdated, unsustainable and destructive, and that doesn't FIT our reality anymore and should be left BEHIND while we still have time to change!

BESIDES scientific advancement has been happening ALL OVER the world for CENTURIES and all we need is that the RIGHT technologies get attention and investment. Eco-friendly technology EXISTS we could clean the seas, we could generate free electricity for all, we could invest on lab grown meat, we could do SO much that would be actually useful and nice and helpful, but instead those sons of BITCHES only want to play in space and maybe some day run away when the planet is too sick to be fixed, leaving us - the poor ones - behind to die.

The fact is that we don't need cocky, bastard, exploitative billionaires to have scientific advancement! It would exist anyway, perhaps in better ways! And people should STOP considering technologies that are more harmful to the world than helpful as "advancements"! Because they are not, they are a problem, they are like if a man invented a flamethrower inside a house that is literally on fire and everyone found it amazing because "now we can set fire on stuff more easily and faster" yeah like, AWESOME but can we solve the PROBLEMS caused by that instead??

And honestly, I hate the excuse that "space represents hope for many people in a world that is bound to destruction" like, there would be NO need to go to space to begin with if we focused on fixing what's wrong instead of that ridiculous bullshit disguised as research or whatever when it's obviously just two things: showing off their horrible amounts of money and making MARKETING of an unnecessary service that will only benefit those who already have the easiest lives of all of us while causing issues to all others! JUST so that these billionaires can make MORE money. It's DISGUSTING.

There is NOTHING wrong about space travel as a concept, nothing wrong with researching and developing technologies that may allow us to explore space! Space exploration would be AWESOME! BUT if we're gonna work on something like that, we have to develop it in a way that doesn't harm the world EVEN MORE. We have to have priorities! We have to focus on NOT destroying this planet, for FUCK'S sake! And if the only way we have to explore space right now is by damaging our already fucked up environment even more, then NEWSFLASH, BABY - this is not the TIME to do space travel yet! AND SPECIALLY NOT FOR BILLIONAIRE SPACE TOURISM.

#RANT #long post #angry as fuck #my opinion #honest-fucking-ly #tired

[zumpietoo]

Errmmm....they don’t, again, learn to read between the lines. And what the show has always been about.

Plus, no, it doesn’t. The entire concept here is that they’re gonna be the Barfie Dreemhouse Fascist Thug Power  Couple....which has always been their fantasy....and, while stupid, does work----

We’ve already HAD Slizzy cheering on Douchie, for seasons....I have no idea why you remotely think that wouldn’t work, anyway....again, do you watch the show?

And, again, we had Tabs helping Jug investigate and she was better at it....so Barfie being morons and beating peeps down? Yeah, it tracks.

Plus....there’s no question both Douchie and Slizzy have regressed, that’s the entire point....while everybody else moved forward and on....it actually works quite well, in fact.

And yeah, they’ll, yet again, realice how hollow it all is (especially since Slizzy won’t be newly clean and happy, like she’s always fantasized), but that’s where the quad with Vermin and Ragey will come in...(and I’m frankly jazzed for it...)

Oooh....you used a big word!!! Go you!!! And no, the old “tropes” (wrong term, dude) didn’t work for that, they worked for your fappingfest...Plus that actually wasn’t what was happening and you need to let goooooo....

So you legit completely repeated yourself on either/or (cause the exact same thing)----and also “tasteless”???? Ummm....please unclutch your pearls and explain, granny!

And no, they aren’t giving you what you want, dude....time to suck it.

Also, no idea how this fits with Ragey....but does out you as a disgusting racist, again....and assigning verrrryyyyy one dimensional qualities to both of them. Just sayin....

Ummm...neither and I hope you’re not watching. Also “hopeful comeback”??? Sweet Jeebus....

The “BH one” didn’t, but go ahead----also, noooo.....and good lord, your obsession with Douchie solving it all by prize fighting....moar like Barfie, again, fascist thugs and probably helping Pussy. Plus Barfie have teamed up to sleuth in the past....and Jug and Tabs will figure out it’s Glenn alone....and Slizzy will mock them. Until she finds the TBK mask after she’s fucked him again...

And Slizzy hasn’t “opened up” to Jughead, either....that’s done, too...time to get over this

Ummm....no, thankfully, as shitty as they might be, they stay away from your even shittier fanfic....Actually, hilariously, if you were so obsessed with sunk ships, you’d see that season 5 was about getting over HS/first loves...except for Barfie....and that “safe place nostalgia” is very much in character. As is both of them being unlikable assholes.

Also “you fear”??? Dude, it’s a goofy TeeVee show!

And who cares? And yes, minimal interaction cause PP is a psycho...

Again, do you even watch the show? Plus it’s possible to do shit NOT with your significant other, dude....

6x09---and we’ve now seen for the next two they haven’t filmed much together. Dude, again, your qween made this happen. Suck it.

Also, I love how ONE HINT of a boxing ring means the entire episode (hell, the entire season) is now about that...

Barfie Evan shrugged it as “they investigate TBK together”---to TELL YOU, #noBH4u.....it’s probably half an ep, with Jug putting it together....the end....time to let that go, as well....

There IS no “curse storyline”.....that had been filmed is probably like five seconds of Pussy confessing when she asks for help with her cousin or something...

And they won’t be about BH....

Awww noobie sock 1 hearts noobie sock 2!!! And thinks she’s in charge of everything!

Slizzy wasn’t remotely driven by that----especially with the Farm, they brainwashed her fam and “bestie” and she wanted to fix that. JUGHEAD is the one driven by that....Also, Jug’s driven by neither and has neither as a driving force.

Douchie doesn’t actually “care”, he likes to be important, so does Vermin. So does Slizzy....And Vermin’s never been “desperate to escape Hymen’s shadow”....she just likes $$$ and attention. And places all her anger on him. Actually, since you’re referencing season 3, once Douchie was sprung, they were split for most of it.

And no, the story lines don’t. At all.....

No, Slizzy then and now is driven to be half a power couple....they also maybeeee were gonna do JTB (with her as the loser), buuuttt....PP was so cray they couldn’t. She didn’t remotely “address her trauma” with Jughead. Plus, IDGAF....she’s an asshole who created her trauma and traumatized Jug....

And, again, it’s funny how you only keep obsessing about Slizzy’s character development (or lack thereof), everybody else has....that was the entire point.

Errmmm....all she wants is a Barfie Dreemhouse now and, honestly, Slizzy’s so gross that no, he probably isn’t---in a way, Douchie might now be better than she is. And for certain she sure as fuck isn’t remotely “worthy of” Jughead and never, ever was....

Also, whether Douchie does or doesn’t “chose” Slizzy is immaterial, and, again, the quad they’re heading towards does make for a decent story....actually, maybe “the Pickens guy” is who Slizzy’s gonna fuck next....that works too...

And, again, don’t recall Vermin everrrr admitting that (moar like Barfie Evan’s completely off interpretation) and she and Ragey can choose to make that work in Plaiderdale....plus there’s no “peaceful life” in the murder capital of America”.

Again, do you even watch the show?

[hyperesthesias]

warnings: nsft 18+ ; allusions to past sexual assault. ; really fucking tragic. legit made myself cry. ; no proofreading.

words: 2.9k

summary(?): the one time crosshair finds happiness, it goes horribly awry. something of a study about how the clones are treated like droids, and how neither of them have any rights or autonomy.

notes: this isn’t really formatted necessarily, but i had to get this out so i could focus on another piece of writing im working on. feedback is always appreciated! 

fic idea where the bad batch are sent on a prolonged stealth training mission before the official start of the clone wars and they wind up staying at this shady inn. crosshair breaks his arm and shoulder and stays there alone while the others move ahead with the mission. he meets the inn’s VERY shady owner and his blind server droid, ADA-565, a female looking droid of a type he’s never seen before. she’s very skittish and soft spoken, especially around the inn’s owner. later that evening the inn’s owner offers ADA to crosshair as a pleasure droid. it both confuses and insults crosshair deeply, but he allows ADA into his room.

He takes her into his room and she seems to know her way around it very well, he remarks how he’s never seen a droid like her before, and she says her line has been discontinued for many years. She doesn’t know what happened to her sisters, but she heard that any remaining ADA’s that had been found by the manufacturer were recalled and ‘decommissioned’. When he asks why, she says they were neurally defective -- she goes onto explain that the ADA’s neural networks began to grow and expand beyond that which they’d been calibrated for. Crosshair doesn’t immediately understand the extent of what she means, but he understand she’s very different than any droid he has met before, and he says as much. She assumes he is attempting to flirt with her and she says there’s no need to flirt, that she will have sex with him regardless -- it’s what she was programmed for. He is immediately taken aback and disgusted when he begins to put together she is sad, even scared. She is not a droid at all, he comes to the conclusion, she’s more of a person locked in a metal and plastoid body. He tells her he doesn’t want to have sex with her, he wanted to separate her from the owner so he could speak to her, he wants to free her. “There isn’t much of a point,” she says, “Even if I am free, if I am found, I will die.” She sounds like a clone, he thinks. Or clones sound like droids -- and he’s not sure which is worse.

He offers for her to stay with him in his room as a reprieve from the owner. She thinks, and considers, and agrees. She searches her way around the room and finds the chair in the corner, he offers to take it instead and she can have the bed, if she wanted to sleep -- does she sleep? She laughs, and it takes him off guard, he doesn’t hear much laughter, especially from a woman. She can sleep, she says, but she never gets much of it. He understands. More than he should.

Two months go by and as his arm heals, he finds he’s gotten close to Ada, she’s become more of a confidant than he’s ever had before, a friend, rather than a brother like he’s used to. She has begun to trust him almost instinctively, and she’s fascinated with the concept of his heightened eyesight. He often describes the sunsets to her. He’s horribly uncomfortable at first when she asks him to describe himself to her, but the way her hands feel his features -- she’s cold, but her fingers begin to warm the longer she lingers against his skin -- he states he looks much different than the rest of the clones, that he’s...defective, too. 

He continues to let her ‘sleep’ in his room, and at one point she remarks that she’s cold. He asks if she’d like him to sleep next to her, and she agrees. She is terribly cold, and when he asks if she can feel she tells him she can, but not like he can -- but she can still feel, hear, sing. She likes singing, and he’s noticed she’s very good at it, though it sounds different than any human voice he’s heard.

They begin to have conversations about what they want in life -- if they even can want things in life. “What is it that you want? Not what you’re...programmed to do?” he asks, almost as if he’s asking himself. It takes her a long time to answer. But the way his hand is stroking her shoulder, the feel of his warm breath against her face, it soothes her and it reminds her of a recurring dream she holds onto. “I want to see the lake.” “Lake?” “I’ve heard many patrons talk about a lake near here. They say it’s beautiful -- especially in spring. I wish I could see it, the rocks, the trees, the flowers. I wish I could live there. I wonder what flowers smell like.” “You’ve never smelled a flower?” he grins, and remembers the first time he got a waft of the open air -- only six months ago. It surprised him, it felt dry at the back of his throat, but it made his brain alight. “I can’t smell,” she says, almost embarrassed, ashamed. This surprises him, too. “What do you smell like?” she giggles. He laughs -- he find he can laugh with her. It’s strange, odd, but a welcome uncertainty. “Ozone. A lot of it. Blasterfire, grime, dust.” She laughs. “Maybe it’s better i can’t smell after all.” He rolls his eyes and strokes her face. When did she become so beautiful? Had she always been?

Two weeks later he gets word the mission was a begrudging success -- it was a difficult mission, but they’d be returning to the inn within two days time. He’s...disappointed, and he’s not sure why. Until he gets it all at once -- and he hates himself for it: pretending he could have a life, pretending he could be something he’s not. Pretending he could actually be...a person. It sets him in a foul mood, and it troubles Ada, especially when he’s curt with her. She’s offended, and leaves him alone for a while, until he seeks her out. She’s sitting outside at the back of the inn, she’s sitting in the sunlight, feeling the warmth of it on her skin. He sits next to her and explains his brothers are coming back -- which means he’s leaving, too. She doesn’t respond for a while, but after a few minutes she puts her head on his shoulder and holds his hand -- as though if she held him tight enough, he wouldn’t leave, that he’d stay, that they’d disappear together somewhere wonderful, somewhere by the lake. 

He takes her chin with his finger, and presses his head to hers -- to his surprise, she knows what a Keldabe Kiss is, “I do still have a database,” she grins and chuckles. She leans a little further into him, until he presses his lips to hers. He holds her close to him. “I know what I want,” she says. “Are you sure?” he asks. “I’ve never been sure about anything in my life, but I have no question -- no question when it comes to you.” He’s never been chosen before, by anyone or anything, he’s never been loved. 

“I’ve never had sex before,” she says, “I’ve been used for sex, but I’ve never...been a participant.” There is terrible shame in her voice, and she can’t bring her face anywhere towards him, it’s hidden into her shoulder. It angers him, to hear her speak of what she was put through, what she was created for. It’s different, it’s...not the same as his own creation, but the parallel is undeniable. That angers him, too. He caresses one finger against the crown of her head, pushing her hair back -- he wants to see her, he wants her to know he sees her. That he wants to. No matter what. She finally leans into his hand and he cradles her face. “If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t, either.” She smiles. 

He’s so gentle with her, he takes her pace, her cue. He asks her to show him where, he wants to learn. No one had ever thought to bring her pleasure, no one had ever considered it. His mouth doesn’t want to leave her -- any part of her, the metal of her skin, the warmth of where her heart would be, of her middle. The way he touches her, where he touches her -- “It’s right here, the center of me,” she puts his hand to just above her navel, where she is the most sensitive, where the bundle of wires lay just beneath -- it’s all intentional, it’s all full of passion, intensity. She’s never experienced anything like it -- she feels like she’s full of stars, full of light and brightness, energy that cannot be contained, and she wonders if not for a moment, if this is what it felt to be human. Ada lies there, once her world stops spinning, once the two of them are spent and exhausted and elated, and can think of nothing but humanity, what it means to feel -- what it means to be. To be with someone she loved. To love and to live therein.

He tends to her carefully, softly, sweetly, and together they fall asleep; she, safe in his arms.

The day his brothers arrive, Crosshair pulls Tech aside and demands a favour -- and despite Tech’s tiredness, he agrees when Crosshair offers to clean and settle his gear. “What exactly is this favour?” “I need you to put Ada’s eyesight back together.” “ADA? You mean the droid? I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” he thinks aloud, “but I can do it.” “Her name...is Ada.” Tech has never seen his brother quite so attached to anyone or anything, besides his wordless devotion to rest of his batchmates. It takes him back, but he agrees, despite.

Ada will only allow Crosshair to switch off her power, and makes him promise to stay by her side, to make sure nothing happens. She’s never been so willingly vulnerable -- especially allowing someone to poke around in her head. Crosshair swears both protection and fealty to her, and lets her get comfortable in a soft chair before he gently switches off her power on the back of her neck. “Goodnight, cyrae,” he whispers. Tech now sees there is something...disturbingly different about ADA. He sees his brother’s attachment and cautions him against attachment, they will be leaving in two days time. “Just get it done,” he tells him.

The moment Ada opens her eyes again, her vision is a white and color blotched blur -- with a tan and black and silver blur right in front of her. It’s talking to her, and she recognizes his voice instantly. As she begins to focus, she sees Crosshair with his hands on either side of her face. He’s searching her -- making sure she can see. Her eyes are no longer dark, but illuminated with a solid yellow-white color. “Cyrae? Can you hear me? Can you see me?” The image in front of her becomes clearer and she smiles -- it’s reactive, instinctual, to smile at the sight of her lover. Her hands go to his face and she holds him carefully, like small bird egg, that he would break if she touched him too harshly. “I see you -- I can see you!” She throws her arms around him and falls to her knees, they embrace, holding each other while knelt on the floor. “Is this what it feels like? To cry with joy? It’s such a strange feeling.” Crosshair kisses the side of her head and holds her arms as she stands. Tech performs some visual tests and clears his work as good, before he leaves his brother alone with the droid. With Ada. He figures the happiness -- however brief it might be -- would be beneficial to his morale. He leaves quietly and says not a word to his other brothers. 

“Come with me,” he says, his head pressed against hers, “Come with me.” “Where would i go? How would I hide? I can’t.” “I’m not leaving you here, i’m not leaving without you free.” Ada agrees, knowing his fealty will ensure her safety, even if they were parted in the end.

The morning the batch are shipping out, Crosshair is disturbed from his duties with a shrill scream that comes from the back of the inn -- Ada’s scream. With a blaster in hand, he runs to find the inn owner with Ada by the neck. The owner swings her around and uses her as a shield. Crosshair can make the shot, he knows he can -- but the owner drags Ada out the back and throws her in a speeder and takes off. Crosshair commandeers the one beside it and takes off after him. The pursuit leads them through the marketplace, through stalls and alleyways, all the way to the outside of town. He can’t take a shot at the vehicle at the risk of injuring Ada, he creeps up next to it, and tries nudging the speeder to get him to slow down, to get him off course. But the owner shoves back, and pushes Crosshair’s speeder away. The owner pushes again and again -- focused on getting Crosshair to tailspin. He doesn’t see the pole before its too late -- Crosshair desperately tried pushing the speeder out of its way, but the speeder wraps itself around the metal.

“Ada!” he screams over the horrific screeching crunches as metal twists with metal twists with Ada. He jumps off the speeder and runs to her. She’s trapped in the wreckage. He pulls metal and carcass apart until he gets to her. She’s impaled with a piece of the chassis, she cries out when he removes it from her torso. He pulls her out and leans her against the wreckage. He’ll get his brother, he says, he’ll help. “There’s nothing he can do.” Her entire right side is crushed. She’ll need spare parts, there aren’t any in existence. She’s clutching his shoulder, the shell of him is breaking. They both know, there isn’t much time. “I know what I want,” she says. “What is it that you want?” his voice has never sounded so desperate, it hasn’t since.

Shes’ barely hanging onto any life that’s still circulating within her, but she’s clinging to it -- the minutes and seconds she has left with her lover. She’s in his arms, staring at his face, staring at the blue sky above him, the white clouds -- she’d almost forgotten what they looked like, their beauty. She knew them only from memories that’d turned into dreams. But this was no dream.

Crosshair leans her against the biggest, most beautiful tree he can find that overlooks the lake. There are birds that circle the water, that dive for fish, for a moment she smiles. If she had tears, they would have been stinging her eyes, staining the plastoid of her face. Crosshair sits next to her, watching the life transpiring around them, the irony biting him in the jugular. He’s bleeding without spilling a drop -- of blood or tears. She holds his hand, their palms resting in the green grass, the white clover buds. “I’m glad I was happy. I’m glad I had you.” He looks at her, the shell’s cracks widening. “I want you to do it,” she says. He hates that he knows what she means, his eyes close and his head falls. “I don’t want to wither,” she says. He can’t refuse her, “Just tell me when.” She leans against him, watching the clouds go by. If all her life she’d had nothing but fear, but brokenness, if all her life she longed for the sweet feeling of lake air brushed against her skin, if all her life she’d wanted to love and be loved, she felt her life had culminated. If all her life she’d been a conduit, it was fitting the end of her life would be with her innards exposed. She nestles her face into him and holds his arm. The pain grew -- unbearable, seething and seeping, like a scream -- and her vision began to blur. “I’m ready.” 

Fragments barely keeping themselves together, Crosshair nods and kneels beside her. She takes the one hand she has left and caresses his face -- he’s warm, warmer than he’s ever been; hot with the holding of grief. “I love you,” she says and kisses him. He kisses her, and he feels if he kissed her hard enough, deeply enough -- long enough -- he could save her life essence, he could retain a part of her, keep her with him, safe and painless -- here, forever. “I love you,” he whispers as he pulls away, cradling her head in his hand; he’d never uttered such words before, and he’s never spoken them since. His thumb caresses her head as he presses his head to hers one more time; he can feel her nod beneath him. 

His finger squeezes and her power switch is flicked off. The light fades from her eyes, and she goes limp in his arms.

He leans her against the tree and rests her there, hand in her lap, leg outstretched in front of her.

He sits beside her with one arm leaned against his knee. His face buried in his hand, he breaks apart completely.

Crosshair leaves Ada in a place he believed would comfort her for eternity -- he leaves her beneath the tree, overlooking the lake, flowers in her lap, blossoms behind her ear.

When he returns to his brothers, he does not speak. They ask him nothing.

Crosshair has never returned, but for dreams.

#tbb crosshair #bad batch #ct 9904 #clone trooper crosshair #the bad batch #crosshair fic #bad batch fic #tbb fic #* #'i'm never gonna write this fic i might as well write out the summary!!!!!!' #proceeds to write three thousand fucking words of a sUmMaRY #i am a 🤡 #ada 565

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

#tw eating disorder ment// / #long post// / #tldr;;; hey guess what guys. you know what you should do if you think you see a body check?? #compliment em. just avoid the topic of their weight/size/etc or their disorder (even to encourage them to recover. dont start there) #literally pm them and tell them you like their hair. their clothes. their voice. their personality. their art. their username. ANYTHING #that HUMANIZES THEM AS A PERSON OUTSIDE THEIR DISORDER #and BUILDS FOUNDATIONS FOR SELF LOVE!!!!! #/UNCONDITIONAL/ SELF LOVE that reminds them their value lies in MORE THAN THEIR BODY TYPE #that is so unfathomably fuckign IMPORTANTTTTT YOU GUYYYYS DONT UNDERSTAND I #literally please at the very least if u arent comfy with that just stop . Insulting. underweight bodies. that is literally. #'''enabling''' their habits. u have to be literally impossibly ignorant to think that wont make them worse. so. fuck you #if you actually 'care' abt these suffering ppl the way you claim uhhh improve your behavior after hearing all the flaws with it pointed out #puhlease #? #instead of just. sticking the r3xies in the corner and saying 'it makes me uncomfy so if i cant see it it doesnt matter' #like why tf do ppl assume so much of this is about 'attention' or rather positive attention for self destruction #and therefor ANY ATTENTION AT ALL must be bad and shunning is the right answer. like???? #bro just. put in literally an ounce of effort here and give them the right KIND of attention which is easy to figure out if ur educated. #godddddddduhh #yes im sorry but the mentally ill slowly dying ppl DO require your attention actually. if ppl are in danger 'for attention' its uh. #more important that you just. dont ignore that and figure out the most nuanced responses Later actually #yall just dont want the responsibility on you if you say the wrong thing and im sorry but to an extent thats just... kinda... selfish #they need ya buddy you dont have to be bffs with every single one of em but you could just like. treat em like a person at least shruugg #all im asking is that yall educate yourselves a little better and stop this horrible shit

[littlemessyjessi]

And another thing! Where is the representation of my melanin queens on every day things?! I’m just really upset about alot of fanfiction right now.  Like, I don’t get it.  I’m using every fucking piece of information that I have gathered from my godmother, an indescribably beautiful melanin goddess, over the years and I’m using it in fucking fanfiction because it’s fucking important.  For example:

My godmother, Dana, is a STUNNING black woman.  She was there for me when my birth mother would straight up drop me on her doorstep and I would see her for months. 

Dana, the queen that she is, is a beacon of light and information. 

I had an interesting childhood.  

I’m a mixture of a lot ethnicities to be honest and I spent my childhood back and forth between two countries if you want to know the truth about it.   But when I was in the USA, I was supposed to spend time with her which lasted for all of about two weeks full of abuse.  Looking back, honestly being with Dana is probably what saved me. 

Anyway, personally I’m a red head but my curl pattern is somewhere between 4B and 4C.  Naturally, it has a tendency to be frizzy and is heavy on the dry side.  I have my mother’s hair. 

Dana knew this, as she grew up with my mother and actually has a very similiar hair texture. It’s just that her’s is dark. So she knew exactly how to handle me when my mother jumped ship. 

And my dad didn’t know how to do that.  He’s Serbian and white. Not to mention the fact that he worked all the time over the road trying to provide for his four children. He wasn’t around much but it wasn’t because he didn’t want to be.  It’s just that someone had to provide for us and that was him.  Side note:  All of have different mothers and they’re all crazy.   I think he has a type.  He didn’t turn them crazy.  No, no. They were like that when he met them.  I just think he’s a glutton for punishment. 

Anyway, the hair. That was a foreign language to him.  I mean, he tried but he was hopeless until Dana legit showed him. 

This fucking angel introduce me to the bonnet when I was four. Four.  To this day, I refused to go to bed without a bonnet.  

She also introduced me to protective hair styles and the concept of a damn headwrap.  Which is fucking life changing mind you.  My cuban fiance, Valentina, bonded over this when we first started talking because she video calls me one morning to talk to me while we were getting ready for our respective days. 

Of course, I answer.  Still in my pjs, bonnet on my head and slathering myself in shea butter.  Again, thank you Dana for your life changing knowledge of shea butter and cocoa butter.  I attribute my good skin to you, love. I’m in my late twenties now and honestly I don’t really look any different as to what I did when I was eighteen.  Perhaps, it’s genes.  But I think it was Dana and her knowledge. 

Anyway, we’re sitting there talking and all of a sudden Val just has the biggest smile on her face and I’m like, what?

And she was just like, “I love that you have your bonnet on.” 

And I was like, “Uh, ok? Should I not?” 

And we got into a whole discussion about it and how it’s viewed.   

Listen, if I am deep conditioning my hair I will walk straight out this house with a bonnet on and not give a single fuck.  You think I’m playing but I am not.  And that’s my point.   I don’t know why things like this are looked at differently and I’m sick of it.   

What’s even more disgusting is that I would get less looks for it than a black woman.  Why?  Because regardless of the fact that I actually came out of an extremely deeply darkly skinned woman, I pass as white. 

That god damn statement enrages me to my core.  The fact that I, someone who passes as white, can do basic things like wear a bonnet or a headwrap and while I may recieve some strange looks here and there..... it’s really nothing. 

Whereas a woman of dark complexion has a totally different experience.  And that enrages me.   I used to lose my temper over it when I was about 10 or so and Dana would take me to the movies on Sundays.  That was always deep conditioning day and so we went in our bonnets.  And these mother fucking girls would snicker and point and act like fools.  I, all 4′11′’ of me, nearly got into a fight with them b/c I have a short fuse on a big bomb.  But Dana just pulled me back and told me not to worry about it.  But I was upset.  Dana is literally one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out.  And I couldn’t understand how someone could be so nasty.   We had a talk that day about skin and why it was different.   I mean, I knew Dana and I have different colors to us but I never thought much about it to be honest.  

She was very honest with me in her experiences and she told me that we were different and even though that shouldn’t make a difference at all, for some people it did. 

Cue tiny preteen Kenny going on a fifteen minute rant until she gave me pineapple and tajin and told me to chill out, lol. 

Also, if you’re not putting tajin on your pineapple, what are you doing?  You’re missing out and I highly reccommend you see to it immediately. 

She told me the best thing to do was to ignore them and to just live my life.  And I see her point but I also don’t.  Because if you always look the other way then nothing changes b/c it just keeps getting swept under the rug.   

Dana is a lot nicer than me.  And perhaps, she’s smarter b/c she’s older and she just knows more than me.  But I will not stand for this! 

I realize how ridiculous that may sound but I don’t care.  I will call someone out on it in a heartbeat. 

I just get heated about things I feel strongly about. 

So all this to say that I was listening to this video where a girl was talking about how upset she was about the lack of representation in fanfiction and I was just consumed with anger b/c she’s right! 

And I was just so pissed. Poor Val listened to me rant forever before she just called Dana and was like, ‘Please calm down your child.” 

Because yes, as far as I’m concerned, Dana is my mother.  Not my birth mother. 

And, lol, Dana told her, “Just give that little hot cheeto some pineapple and tajin. Or make her some kool aid.  She’s just gotta rant for a minute and get it out of her system.” 

And Val said, “I tried to give her kool aid.  She spazzed out and drank half a pitcher.  Now she’s on a sugar high and she’s worse.” 

I’m assuming Dana told her to just hand over the phone and she promptly told me to calm down before she came over to deliver an ass whoopin.  

And then she asked me what was wrong and so I told her. 

And so she said, “Just write the fanfiction how you want it.   That’s what you’ve always done. So if you want to see mentions of bonnets in stories, start putting them in.   Make it a point to create scenes that specifically give you an opportunity to showcase some of that stuff.  Talk about the struggles of finding a foundation that actually matches your skin tone.  Talk about wash days and co washes.  And for the love of the all mighty, please mention to someone to put some damn lotion on their elbows and knees.  I’m tired of seeing these ashy ass people.” 

And we talked for quite some time about it and she made me feel better.  Like she always does.  I didn’t come out of her but Dana has always been my mother.  And always been there for me.  Always given me the best advice.   Always knew just what to say when my emotions wreck me. 

So I know a lot of you like my reader content and I’ll continue to do that. I promise.  I mostly just do plus size reader. But maybe we’ll include some specific POC plus size reader.  I mean, that’s not new for me.  I’ve done that before but you get my point.  The only way to get passed some of these irritations and unfairness is to normalize it to the point of common knowledge. 

And you might be seeing more and more POC OC’s from me.  This isn’t new either as I’ve got plenty of them.  But you might see an influx lol.  Because I’m upset about it and b/c it’s deserved.  You know what I mean?  

Also, for the love of god, please please please if you are writing reader insert when you are talking about someone blushing... jesus christ, Dana could be embarassed and you’d never know b/c she is literally as dark as a dark chocolate bar.   Blush doesn’t show on her skin tone and I can imagine it doesn’t show on a lot of deeper skin tones.  It doesn’t on Valentina and she’s cuban caramel candy.  

There are other ways.  Like heat creeping up the neck or whatever.  You know what I mean.  

Also, the ‘he ran his fingers through my hair’ bit?  Ugh.  First of all, with my hair.... I’d like to see them try.  Second, don’t. touch. my. hair.  

Just saying.  There are other ways.

Anyway, thanks for listening. 

And Dana, if you’re reading, cause I know you come read my stories sometimes- thank you for listening and giving me good advice.  As you always have.  I love you and I’m just really thankful you’ve always been there for me and taught me so much.  I love you, Mama D.

Love, 

Kenny

Also, ya’ll pray for me.  I have a whole pitcher of kool aid, that I made so it has way too much sugar in it.  And if I can’t calm myself down, Valentina may murder me.  And ya girl is trying to get some tonight, lol. 

P.S. If she does away with me and you never find my body, someone just tell Idris Elba, Queen Latifah, Sebastian Stan and Aaron Taylor Johnson that I love them and that I died well.  

Probably not though.  

Valentina is mean.  She’d make me die a slow and horrible death. 

Like depravation of cuddles and chocolate. 

The horror. 

Shit, I like her feisty though. 

Anyway, I’m rambling. 

I love y’all and that’s really all I had to say about the issue lol. 

#kenny rants #poc #poc reader #poc oc #poc fanfiction #melanin #melanin queens

[wackology]

Opinions about penelope ships

Peter/penny: a bit cliche, but not too shabby, wholesome sweetness and picture perfect but a bit superficial

Dick/penny: depends. If in the wackyverse and if we are talking about og penny and dick, no fucking way because then that makes pandick incest. If it is between wr2017 dick and penny, thats cool i guess, they do have some nice moments(PANDICK RIDE OR DIE ALL THE WAY FAMMMMNNDHHAUQKJS HAI KSIQIJNSIAOOA).Now, based off HCs and a bunch of potential storylines friends have made about a potential WR HBCU movie, scoob dick and concept art penny do have potential to have awesome chemistry.

Penelope and clyde: wut, the fuck. Shippers who ship this are on thin fucking ice that is about to give in because of the age gap and shit. A no no for me and just a half step less terrible than claw shippers

Penelope and muttley: disgusting and i dont need to explain any further.

Penelope and the hooded claw: where to start...the age gap, gay erasure, legit trys to fucking murder her every damn day, possible incest and probably more what the actual fuck is wrong with you if you ship this and why do SO MANY GOD DAMN PEOPLE SHIP THIS

Penelope and the red max: eh, at most it seems like just max is just being chivalrous, i don't really see it. If ya wanna hc him as the pitstop twin's dad thats ok i guess.

Penelope and pat pending: whY ? I legit found fanart of this on deciant art and im so fucking confused

Penelope and Daisy Mayhem: found some fanfic on Ao3, didn't read it but if you ship this thats cool.

Penelope and private meekly: penny is too good for him and probs dates him out of pity but at least they seem to be about the same age

Penelope and mildew wolf: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????

Penelope and Blue falcon: Brian is not allowed anywhere near penny, fucking trash dabbing turd douche

Penelope and shaggy: saw some harem fanfic of this and some of the concept art of scoob did suggest some sort of relationship, not sure if romantic or just close buds. Not the worst thing, penny just has to check that shaggy is older than 20 yrs old or else it gets pedo-y

Penelope and daphne/velma: also saw a few fanfics of this, ok i guess, but the same thing about shaggy applies here. No predator shit

Penny and speed racer: @ben-the-hyena and i are responsible for this, we were speculating about the wr2017 pitstop twins father, who is never really mentioned. We saw penny hanging out with him in a boomerang bumper and thus the ship was born, tho we established that he nutted and then he had to go go go speed racer out of there once petunia/og penny got pregnant. A nice fan theory if i saw so myself

By the way, im not pulling this shit out of my ass, each and every damn one of these ships ive seen shipped in the actual show,official comics,theories,fanfic, fanart, concept art,storyboards ect

#wacky races #hanna barbera #penelope pitstop #the perils of penelope pitstop #dick dastardly #the hooded claw #wacky races 2017 #peter perfect #muttley #the red max #pat pending #private meekly

[raibebe]

Guardian

Genre: smut (!) Words: 5.822 Prompt: Guardian Demon Kihyun Warnings: Violence (he’s a demon, what did you expect), dirty talk, fingering, unsafe sex (please use protection, kids), light cumplay (I’m so sorry) 

A/N: The beginning is inspired by Clean eyes on AO3, I never finished reading it because it literally destroyed me several times, but if you are into that and into Chanki, I highly recommend it. Thanks to the lovely @im-a-special-bebe​ who made this beautiful moodboard. She posts those from time to time and they are awesome, so check her out. Also if anyone cares the working title was literally: Kihyun birthday demon, good job me. This is not part of my still unfinished Halloween promts, I just like supernatural concepts who am I kidding Not betaed because I’m a horrible person and because this is already late. So all mistakes are my own. Also I can’t believe I wrote this filth, I legit got possessed in the midst of writing this, I swear. Please feel free to sream at me about this once you’ve read it And most importantly: Happy belayed birthday, Kihyun. I hope your day was amazing and you will nerver read this 🖤

Demon: A vicious creature who is a subordinate to one of the rulers of hell and gifted with different supernatural powers. Some of them, especially the more powerful ones, once were angles before they became tainted by sin and fell from heaven.   Oddly enough their name originates from the Greek word Daimon translating to guardian spirit.

You usually weren’t one to go to shitty college parties at a random frat’s house, but your whole week had been fucked up and you really needed to get your mind off of the things that had happened. Not only had you managed to spill coffee on yourself twice but it also was in class in front of your crush. You also had tripped over nothing while running to catch your bus which had resulted in you scraping your knee open and missing the bus. You were also pretty sure a man casually walking the street had seen you fall and laughed at you. And if all of that wasn’t enough, you were pretty sure your crush had also seen you when you arrived late to class, drenched to the bone because it of course had not only started to rain but your umbrella had broken as soon as you had pulled it out of your bag.

So in conclusion your week hadn’t been going well. So what worse could happen if you went drinking alone at this random party because your best friend had cancelled last minute because she had to rush to the vet because her cat was hit by a car? Exactly: A lot of things. First your crush was also here which made you more nervous than it should have. But he was looking illegally good with his hair styled upwards and a neat button down with the sleeves rolled up. And second you had already been tugged away by one of the frat boys, who you shared some classes with, to join in a horrible drinking game which not only left you with a light buzz already but of course when you got up to catch some air outside you bumped into your crush resulting in him almost dumping his drink all over you.

This was what had led to your current situation which was simultaneously best and the worst that could have happened: You were standing in the empty kitchen with your crush, trying to make casual conversation while he was mixing himself a new drink because his old one had ended up all over the floor. “You look really hot today,” he said, letting his eyes roam your body, lips curling into a smirk behind his red plastic cup. Blushing you tried to hide behind your own cup, taking a long sip to calm your nerves. You did dress up a little bit, the dark blue dress showing off more skin than you usually showed and the black stockings hid your scraped knee while also looking cute. “We are in the same literature class, right? I never noticed how good you looked,” he kept flirting, raking his hand through his styled hair. You could just nod, silently sipping your drink until a stranger aggressively pushed past you in the kitchen, making you lose your balance, resulting in you almost falling if your crush hadn’t caught you. Blushing again you apologized for being so clumsy. “Well this isn’t too bad, is it?” Your crush asked, tightening the grip he had on your waist, pressing you against his chest.

Grinning and setting his cup down, he slowly closed the distance between you and him. Just seconds before your lips were touching his, the stranger who had shoved you on his way inside, loudly cleared his throat, making your crush stop and glare at him. “What’s your problem dude?” He asked while releasing you from his grip and walked over to the man, clearly irritated. Even though the stranger was a couple of centimetres shorter, he didn’t back down even in the slightest and stared directly into the other male’s eyes when he spoke. “I would rather not witness you tainting this kitchen or this girl right now,” he spoke calmly, pronouncing every syllable very carefully. “Tainting? What decade are you from dude?” Your crush asked, laughing at the very handsome stranger. His jaw seemed like it was chiselled out of marble, his pale skin just as flawless as his expensive looking black suit jacket and his dark eyes had a sharp edge to them, almost animalistic. When the stranger just raised one of his perfectly arched brows and didn’t give an answer, your crush huffed in anger. “So you ruin my chance to get laid tonight but don’t have the balls to talk back to me?” Hearing that almost made you choke on air. Who had said anything about you having sex with your crush tonight? Was that what he had planned on doing? Was he just after a quick fuck? Sure he already had a couple of girlfriends through the year but you had never taken him for the type to just be after that type of stuff. “I merely don’t want to descend down to your level of standards when it comes to conversations,” the stranger answered calmly, his face an expressionless mask and you couldn’t help the little laugh escaping your lips.

“You find that funny?” your crush snarled and turned back to you, face contorted with anger, making him look so unlike himself. “I... No, I jus-”, you stuttered trying to explain yourself. The way he looked at you really made you feel uncomfortable. “Hm, bitch, cat got your tongue now?” He continued to curse at you, taking a step towards you. “Don’t touch her again,” the stranger interfered, his tone carrying a strange weight that didn’t tolerate any misbehaviour. A wide grin was spreading on your crushes face when he slowly stretched his arm towards you, eyes on the stranger. Crowding your body against the kitchen counter you tried to bring as much space between you and your crush. Your heart was beating furiously, the blood rushing through your system drowning out the sounds of the party. “I’m giving you one last warning,” the stranger growled in response, eyes narrowed in anger. Before you could realize what was happening, the stranger had leapt forward and twisted the wrist of your crushes hand, that was about to touch your skin, making him wail in pain. “I don’t like being talked back to. I ordered you to not touch her and yet you chose to disobey,” the stranger spoke through gritted teeth, “You know what I do to those who disobey me?” When your crush didn’t answer, the stranger broke his expressionless mask and grinned. “I will show you exactly what I do, creature.” Taking the other’s wrist in both hands, the stranger quickly but pressure on the joint until you first could hear bones cracking before your crush screamed in pain, falling to his knees and clutching his hand which was now helplessly dangling off his arm.

Yanking your crush by his hair to make him look up, the stranger spoke dangerously calm: “Do not come near her again or I will take my time breaking all of your knuckles separately before I snap your wrist. I might not even stop there. Maybe I will take the time to dislocate your shoulder, break a couple of ribs or shatter the bones in your arms so you won’t even be able to touch anyone ever again. Did you understand?” Still whining in pain the other didn’t answer. “I asked a question, creature. I will not repeat myself.” “I understand, fallen one,” your crush whimpered, baring his throat to the stranger who immediately released his grip as if it was burning him. “Leave this place,” he spat out before looking at you for the first time tonight.

You didn’t even notice your ex-crush scrambling to get up and hurrying out of the kitchen when you felt the stranger’s gaze wandering over your body. To say you were terrified wasn’t even enough to describe the fear you felt. He had just broken this guy’s wrist just because he had tried to touch you again. “You have nothing to fear, girl. I can’t hurt you,” he said after a while. “I think you are perfectly capable of hurting me after what I saw,” you dared to say which earned you a grin from the man in front of you. “I didn’t say that I wasn’t capable of it. I just said that I couldn’t.” Swallowing around the lump that had formed in your throat, you willed your body to not shudder at his words. “We should leave this place. There are way too many disgusting creatures here and I don’t have the desire to let you witness any more violence today.” With that the stranger took your hand in his and led you out of the kitchen, through the mass of drunk people and out of the house.

When he began walking in the direction that your apartment was, your brain seemed to finally catch on to what had just happened and you shook off his hand. Stopping dead in his tracks, he looked down at your now separated hands before raising an eyebrow in question. Gaping at him with an open mouth you just managed to breathe out a “What the fuck” before the scene in the kitchen played again before your eyes. “You just broke that guy’s wrist.” “You just noticed?” He asked teasingly while running a hand through his messy dark brown hair. “He didn’t even do anything.” “He would have if I hadn’t stopped him. You heard him say it.” That knocked the wind out of your sails. He was right of course. But that didn’t mean that you had to admit it. “What if that’s what I wanted?” You asked, feigning confidence that you really didn’t have. For all that you knew this man was aggressive and did not shy away from using violence. “No.” “No? What do you mean no? Who are you anyways to patronise me like this?” You asked the stranger, getting angry. “You may call me Kiyhun,” he answered calmly, scanning the surroundings, probably for any passer-by that heard your shouting. “Oh, I may?” You asked, sarcasm dripping from your lips, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Listen up, princess,” Kiyhun began speaking while shedding his suit jacket, leaving him in a black turtleneck, before draping it across your bare shoulders, “I can sense that you are getting cold, scream at me all you want when I brought you back to your apartment but let me assure you: You did not want to go home and spend the night with that foul creature.” Blushing from his sudden gentle move, you pulled the jacket tighter around yourself, it was indeed getting chilly. When Kihyun began walking again, you hurried to fall into step with him again. You couldn’t quite make sense of him. First he was all violent towards that guy and now he acted all gentle towards you even though he was a stranger to you. You were pretty sure you had never even seen him even once on campus. A man like him stood out with his handsome features and sharp style. How did he know who you were and where you were living? “You still haven’t answered my question though,” you whispered after some time. “What question?” “I asked who you are.”

Wrinkling his nose, Kihyun almost nervously rubbed his neck. “That’s not an easy question to answer, princess. You weren’t supposed to ever meet me.” “What does that even mean?” You asked in confusion. “I was sent to protect you. In secret. From the shadows. It’s what I have been doing for a while now, trying to keep you away from foul creatures like that one at the party. But you are quite the stubborn person,” he chuckled darkly. “I didn’t think you would keep approaching him after you spilled coffee on yourself twice.” “You made me spill my coffee?” You didn’t believe him. How would he have done that if you had never seen him? “One of my many talents,” he only grinned and wiggled his fingers. Rolling your eyes at his innuendo, you groaned: “How are you any better than him?” “Never said I was. Technically speaking I’m worse than him but I already told you that I can’t hurt you, princess,” he told you with a wink before opening the door to your apartment complex for you, mind you without any key. Catching your surprised look he just cryptically said: “Told you those fingers had more talents.”

The walk up the stairs was quiet and before you could search for your keys, Kihyun had already opened the door to your apartment, holding it open for you with a sly grin. “After you, princess.” Blushing at the nickname, you stepped past him, toeing your shoes off and neatly hanging his jacket up. “What... What are we supposed to do now?” You asked him, unsure about what he had meant before when he had told you about how he was supposed to protect you. From what? It wasn’t like you lived in a terrible area of the city where you had to fear getting robbed or assaulted. “Whatever you want, princess,” Kihyun answered, slipping out of his shoes and making his way to your living room like he owned the place. Had he been in here before? Had he broken into your place? “I’m going to make a cup of tea, would you like anything?” You asked him, at a loss what you should do, too many questions filling your head. He just shook his head, inspecting the pictures you had put up on your wall. The little time it took for the water to boil was barely enough to sort out your thoughts. Who or what was the stranger? And what was that whole protecting thing about?

Now sitting on your couch with him, sipping your tea in silence you still weren’t sure what to make of everything that had happened today. “You look like you want to ask something,” Kihyun ripped you from your thoughts. “I don’t know where to start,” you admitted, searching for the right way to ask the question that had been in your mind for a long time now. “What exactly are you, Kihyun? You definitely aren’t human. Humans can’t cause accidents without even being in the same space or open doors without keys. Or tell people that they have been sent by someone to protect you from creatures, not men but creatures.” He chuckled and focused his wandering eyes back on your face. “I thought you would never ask, princess. I already told you part of my name. The rest of my title would be prince Kihyun, fallen angel, one of the 72 demons of Ars Goetia, tainted by lust, banned from heaven by the archangels themselves who used to call me their brother.”

Your mouth opened to reply something but your mind was wiped clean. What does one even reply to something like this? “That’s why he called you fallen one?” You decided to ask to fill the silence that had settled between you two. Kihyun just nodded, his eyes somehow seemed like he wasn’t with you, like he was lost in a memory or something. “And someone told you to protect me?” Another quick nod. “And who was that?” At that he just shrugged his shoulders. “They didn’t reveal themselves. But they needed to perform a powerful ritual to bind a prince of hell.”

“But why do I get a guardian demon? Everyone gets guardian angels.” That statement made Kihyun burst out in laughter. It was probably the most beautiful, melodic laughter you had ever heard. Not quite the laugh that made you laugh with them just for the sake of laughing but a laugh that made you smile softly and tinted your cheeks a rosy colour. “Angels wouldn’t even bat an eye at any human’s problems. They just don’t care. Everyone thinks they are these empathetic creatures who just want the best for everyone which is as far from the truth as it could be. They are cold-hearted, calculating beings with no desires other than keeping everything as it is and follow their orders without questioning them,” he lectured you, raking a hand through his messy hair again, causing a couple of dark strands to fall into his face. You had to grab your teacup harder to not give in to the need to push them back to feel if they were as silky as they seemed. “But what about demons? Aren’t they supposed to just follow their desires no matter what? And just mess with people just because it gives them joy? How does that make them any better?” “We aren’t. But we are different. Angles and demons or more specifically fallen angles are two sides of the same medal. One side cold and indifferent, the other only lead by their own desires. But both seem to only care about themselves,” he spoke calmly, stretching his arms out on the backrest of the couch, picking at a loose thread near your head.

“And what are you supposed to do now? Follow me everywhere like a stalker and keep embarrassing me in front of everyone when a creep is present?” “I suppose,” Kihyun sighed before he grinned at you, flashing his perfectly straight, white teeth, “But embarrassment doesn’t seem to quite work on you. You are quite persisting, princess.” You blushed but didn’t know whether it was because of the pet name so casually slipping over his plush lips or because of his teasing. “How long do you have to do this?” you asked after sipping the lost drop of your tea, gently setting the mug down. “Until the binding breaks I guess. Depends on whoever cast it in the first place. You don’t know anyone who would know how to summon and bind a demon by chance?” “I didn’t even know creatures like demons or angles were real until today. I still don’t really believe it,” you confessed, scared and fascinated by your guardian at the same time.

“Oh, I can show you just how real I am,” the demon grinned and scooted closer to you, your bare thigh touching his, the feeling of the rough denim making you shiver. “Sensitive, aren’t we, princess?” He grinned, placing one of his hands where your stocking met your bare skin, toying with the elastic, letting it snap against your skin in a playful manner. Taking a shaky breath, you tried to not let him affect you so much but he was really close to you and you could swear you could feel his breath ghosting over your lips. Getting bolder, Kihyun teasingly slipped one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder, kissing the skin gently before kissing his way up to your neck where he sucked harshly on your pulse point, leaving a purple bruise behind. Moaning in pleasure you bared your neck for him, granting him further access to your sensitive skin. You felt his chuckle more than you heard it, his teeth scraping against your skin making you whimper.

“I’ll give you one chance to tell me to stop, princess,” he spoke, his lips almost touching yours while his hand on your thigh slowly made its way to the hem of your dress. When he didn’t hear any words of complaint but only heavy breathing, he captured your lips in a heated kiss, claiming your mouth. Not wasting any time, he hiked your dress up and pushed your thighs apart to cup your panty clad sex, grinding the heel of his hand against your clit. Kihyun swallowed the moan that escaped your lips and let his tongue slip between your lips. Tangling your hands in his messy hair you tried to push him even closer to you, your body arching against him. Grinning he broke the kiss. “Eager to find out how good I can make you feel with my hands alone?” He asked while taking in your already wrecked appearance: Your eyes were blown wide in pleasure and you ground your hips shamelessly against his hand when he had stopped moving it against you. “Answer me, princess,” he whispered into your ear, his free hand grabbing your hair and exposing your neck to him. “Please, Kihyun,” you managed to say, biting down on your lip to stop the moans from spilling out. Chuckling he pulled the damp fabric of our panties to the side so he could gather your arousal on his fingers. “So wet for me already,” he moaned before attaching his lips to your neck again while slipping a finger inside you, pulling a satisfied moan from your lips which turned into a whine when he didn’t start to move his finger immediately instead gently circling his thumb on your clit. “You have to work for it, princess,” Kihyun breathed, placing a kiss on the abused flesh on your neck, where a dark bruise was already forming. Sighing while grinding your hips against his finger, you formed the words he had wanted to hear: “What do you want me to do?”

Growling deep in his chest, he captured your lips in a bruising kiss and thrust his finger into your heat harshly, filling the silent room with obscene noise. You broke the kiss with a loud moan when he added a second finger and crooked them just right so he was massaging your sweet spot. Just when you felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly quick, the demon quickly pulled his fingers from your heat and pushed them past your lips instead before any complaints could leave them. Almost instinctively you sucked on the digits and swirled your tongue around them, tasting your arousal. “I want you to undress, princess. Then you will sit on my lap where I can spread your beautiful thighs apart and reward your little pussy for being so obedient,” the demon demanded, his voice deeper than before, rumbling in his chest, before he pulled his finger from your lips and sat back against the couch, spreading his legs out. Wanting nothing more than his hands back on your body, you stood up with shaky legs, gradually slipping the second strap of your dress off. “You are in no position to tease me, princess,” Kihyun growled, palming himself through his jeans. The sight of his cock straining the dark fabric made your mouth water. Almost ripping your dress and panties off of you, you fell to your knees in front of him, stroking his strong thighs, eyes fixed to his hand moving lazily along the outlines of his dick.

“You want me that bad, princess?” You only managed to nod before he grabbed your hair and pushed you against him, making you nuzzle his clothed erection. A shaky breath left his parted lips when he felt your hands undo his pants to push them down, the lack of underwear making you chuckle. His cock wetly slapped against the skin of his abdomen where his shirt had ridden up, a bead of precum glistening at the head. When you just stared at the bare size of it, he grinned smugly. “What are you waiting for, princess?” His voice snapped you out of your stupor and you gave his dick a couple of experimental strokes, spreading the precum to make the slide easier.  Licking a stripe from base to tip, tracing one of the prominent veins, you took the head into your mouth while looking up at him. A curse left his lips and he rested his head back when you sucked harshly and swirled your tongue along the sensitive slit, tasting him. Feeling proud that you could make him loose his composure like this, you closed your eyes and slowly took more and more of his length into your mouth, bobbing your head and wrapping your fist around the part you couldn’t fit. “Fuck princess you look so good like this, your pretty lips around my cock, sucking it like you were made for it.” Kihyun’s praise made you moan around him, ripping a growl from him in response. “Look up at me,” he commanded and you gladly obeyed, moaning again at his appearance. He had taken off his turtleneck, exposing the pale flesh of his strong chest. But what turned you on even more was his heated gaze that had turned his eyes into dark pits of obsidian.

He grabbed your hair again, pulling you off of his cock with a wet pop. Catching your breath, you both just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. You were sure you looked just as fucked out as he did, squirming on your knees and pressing your legs together, your sex clenching around nothing in need. “Get up here, princess,” Kihyun ordered, tapping his lap. Not before pressing a last kiss to the flush head of his cock, you slowly climbed onto his lap and claimed his lips in a kiss that was more teeth, tongue and want than anything else. When he grabbed your hips to grind your pussy against his erection, you loudly moaned into each other’s mouths, trying to swallow the sounds. “Please, Kihyun,” you begged again, bracing your arms behind yourself on his thighs, trying to get more of that sweet friction by rolling your hips down against him harder. “Not yet, princess,” he moaned, reaching between your bodies to rub steady circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves, making you cry out both in pleasure and frustration, “I want to see you cum like this first, squirming on my lap, desperate for me to fill you up with my cock, spreading you open.” Another loud moan left your lips at his filthy words. This man would be the death of you, you were sure. You were grinding against his length like a horny teenager trying to get off as fast as you could just to finally feel him inside you. You gasped loudly when he closed his lips around one of your nipples and twirled his tongue around the sensitive nub. Grabbing onto his messy hair, you held him in place, squirming between his hand on your clit and his hot mouth. Feeling your orgasm threatening to wash over you, you aimlessly yanked at his hair, suddenly feeling something hard beneath your hands. Looking down in confusion you saw two little horns hidden in Kihyun’s hair. The realization that he actually still was a dangerous creature along with his eyes looking up at you from where he was still sucking on you nipple, made you trip over the edge, your orgasm hitting you hard.

Throwing your head back in pleasure you felt his grip around your hips tighten. The moan of the demon’s name got stuck in your throat when he suddenly lifted you up and thrust his length into you while you were still shaking and clenching around nothing from your orgasm. A loud curse left Kihyun’s lips when he ground his dick inside you. “Fuck, you feel so good, princess, squeezing my dick like that.” Still riled up despite your orgasm, you kissed him feverishly, fingers finding his horns again, stroking along the base of them. Gasping against your lips, Kihyun bucked his hips up, fucking his erection even deeper into you. “Keep touching me like that and I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” the demon growled into your ear before sucking another hickey on your neck. Grinning you lifted your hips and sank down on him again, loving the slow drag of his cock against your sensitive walls. Picking up a slow rhythm, you tried to find the right angle for him to hit that spot inside you that made you see stars. Gasping when his cock was hitting it just right, you yanked at his hair to pull his lips from your neck to kiss him feverishly. Moaning into the air between you, you picked up the rhythm of your hips and gently massaged the base of his horns before whispering: “Fuck me like you mean it, demon.”

That made something snap inside Kihyun, an inhuman growl escaping his throat as he gripped your hips hard to hold you in place to fuck up into you hard and precise, making you squirm and moan in pleasure. “Watch your mouth, princess. Even with you on top of me, I’m the one in charge, you understand that?” He spat out between ragged breaths, landing a harsh slap on your ass, making you arch in his hold. Suiting the action to the word, he placed his feet more firmly to the floor, getting more leverage to slam his cock inside you. With each thrust his hips met yours and you let your head fall beside his, the breathy moans you let out only spurring him on even more. “Is that what you wanted, princess?” he growled, “You want to cum all over my cock?” Not able to form any coherent sentences, you just let out an embarrassingly high pitched moan, clutching tighter to him, raking your nails down his shoulders, feeling the knot in your stomach already tighten. It just took Kihyun to slip a hand between your bodys to rub quick circles into your clit, to trip you over the edge, the orgasm hitting you even harder than the first one. Your whole body was trembling and it felt like your blood had been exchanged with molten lava. You let out a string of curses, clutching tight to your guardian demon, riding out the pleasure with soft circles of your hips. Yanking his head down so you could kiss him again, you lazily licked into his mouth.

“I’m not finished with you princess,” Kihyun breathed when you two separated, grinding his still hard cock into you, making you whimper, your body still sensitive. He gave you some time to come back down from your orgasm, gently running his hands along the curves of your body. “Come on princess, be a good girl for me. Hands and knees, let me see that beautiful ass,” he instructed when your legs finally had stopped shaking, lifting you off of his cock. You couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped your lips at the sudden emptiness when you shifted on the sofa, arching your back. Chuckling he grabbed a handful of your ass and kneaded the soft flesh. Almost purring you wiggled closer to him until you could feel his cock slide against your backside. Grinding against you, the demon pushed a hand between your shoulder blades so your upper body was pressed against the cushions, making your back arch. “So pretty and all spread out for me,” he murmured, grabbing the base of his erection tightly and teasing your entrance with the head of his dick. “Please,” you begged, needing him back inside you.

“If you ask so nicely, who am I to deny you?” The demon growled, pushing into you in one swift move, wasting no time in setting a harsh pace, the sound of your skin slapping against each other filling the silence of the room along with your moans and his groans. When he started to grip your ass so tight, you were sure you’d have bruises tomorrow, pulling you back onto him and his rhythm faltering you could tell that he was getting close. Growling deep in his chest, the demon grabbed your hair, pulling you up so you where flush against him, the change of the angle making you cry out and clench around him. “Fuck, princess, keep squeezing me like that and I won’t last much longer,” he panted into your neck, snapping his hips more vigorously and reaching around you to rub tight circles in your clit. “I’m so close please don’t stop,” you begged him, tears close to spilling over from all the pleasure you were feeling, throat raw from all the moaning. When you were right on the edge of your orgasm, you clenched down around him, squirming in his hold. But that was already enough to send him over the edge, spilling his cum deep inside of you, biting down on your shoulder to muffle his load moan.

Groaning he let go of you, causing you so slump back against the sofa, his softening cock slipping out of you. “No, no, no,” you squirmed, pushing back against him, “Need you back inside me.” “Don’t worry princess,” Kiyhun chuckled, watching his cum drip out of your clenching pussy, “Three time’s the charm, they say.” Dragging a finger through your folds, he gathered the cum that had leaked and fucked it right back into you, ripping a moan from your throat. “Ass up,” he commanded and you immediately obeyed, arching your back further. Slapping your ass once, the demon fucked three of his fingers into you before attaching his lips to your clit, sucking harshly. With how close you had been before he had reached his climax, it didn’t took long for you to be right on the edge again, your moans rising in pitch. “I’m gonna cum,” you choked out, not even realizing the tears that were staining the pillows beneath you. “Cum for me, princess,” Kihyun breathed, barely audible over the sound of your moans and whimpers but the vibrations it send to your clit send you over the edge for the third time that night, your whole body going taut before every strength left you, slumping against the cushions, legs twitching. Pleased with how fucked out you were, the demon pulled his fingers from your twitching heat, licking them clean from your arousal, humming in satisfaction.

“You believe me now when I tell you I’m real despite being a demon?” He breathed into your skin when he kissed his way up your spine before pulling your body flush with his, wrapping you up in his arms. “Very real,” you murmured, reaching to tread your hands through his damp hair, trailing your fingers over his horns, making a sigh leave his lips. “I like those,” you giggled, taking a closer look at his dark horns peeking out from his messy hair. Chuckling he nuzzled his head into your hand. “If you keep scratching them like this, I’m going to fall asleep in no time.” “No round two?” You playfully pouted at him. “I don’t think either you or me have another round in us right now,” Kihyun grinned, running a hand along your still shaking thigh. “How come you are this exhausted? I thought demons tainted by lust could go for longer,” you teased him, pillowing your head near his heartbeat. “Restricting myself costs quite some energy, princess. I didn’t plan on suddenly knocking various furniture everywhere because my wings decided to sprout because I lost control completely. My horns weren’t supposed to come out either,” the demon said, voice already heavy with sleep. “You have wings? Like with real feathers?” Pulling you closer to him, he softly kissed your hair. “If you are a good girl and stay out of trouble, I might show you sometime.”

#monsta x #monsta x kihyun #monsta_x #mx #monstax #kihyun #yoo kihyun #monsta x fanfic #monsta x fanfiction #monsta x smut #kihyun smut #demon!kihyun #kihyun fanfic #kihyun fanfiction #kihyun drabble #kihyun oneshot #monsta x writing #kihyun x reader #monsta x reader #monsta x drabble #monsta x oneshot #monsta x au #kihyun au #demon au

[laufire]

Supernatural s1

my dash: decries Supernatural every five posts.

me: time to watch it seriously for the first time in my life.

-First thing first: it’s an amazingly well-crafted season of tv. I’m a character-focused watcher, not a plot-focused one; I never connected emotionally to the Winchesters (still haven’t and likely never will, as interesting I might find them as character constructs), so I feared I’d be bored and would want to skip scenes. Nuh huh. I was many things, but none of them were bored xDD. Each episode was a lesson in good pacing and the entire season another in proper build-up. There are one or two or a few dozen tv-writers I would like to show it to, ngl.

-Another thing it excelled at was in its portrayal in abusive family dynamics. The way Dean went mellow and so unlike himself when John gave an order (and what a SHOCK it is in the later episodes when he finally stands up to him!!). How Sam said HE would apologize to his father when they saw each other again, or how he made apologies for his father because “it could have been worse” (at least John didn’t beat them up, like it happened to that poor kid!). John showing Sam more “““respect””” (as far as he’s able at least) simply because Sam already proved he’s capable of leaving him; the way John controls the information he gives them and when and how and how much and how small they feel when they reunite with him. Dean knowing his father had been possessed by a demon because it wasn’t reprimanding him and belittling him. Dean’s psychic shapeshifter (?) expressing his resentment towards Sam for getting to escape. Dean’s quickness to resort to violence when Sam says something that makes him angry, or how he tries to severe ties between Sam and his college friends, or how he guilt trips him when Sam says he plans on returning to his studies, or how he minimizes Sam’s experiences with John or how Sam criticizes Dean’s compliance... (I don’t think Dean’s being consciously manipulative. I think it’s intuitive. Which is far, far scarier. He’s the Elena Gilbert of Supernatural and a walking red flag for controlling behavior). How it’s paired with ~honeymoon periods. The way they use the families around them to highlight their issues. It’s... chilling and terrifying and I can’t look away. I won’t get into the shit John pulls in 2x01 because that’s for the s2 POV, but oh my god I’m so happy he’s dead.

I wasn’t all that sure of how self-aware the creators were about this trend (especially because of how centralized and validated Dean’s POV is in his conflicts with Sam IMO. OTOH... characters like Dean and actors like Ackles are the type to take over a show by charisma alone tbf. The way he swoops in in the pilot and starts disrupting everything, including Sam’s relationship, reminding me of both Angel in BTVS and Chuck in Gossip Girl, Doylist-wise. This comparison is going to make sense to like three people I talk with regularly xDD). At least on early seasons, since certain spoilers about the later ones make me think it grew over time. I’m still unsure but I think they are a little self-aware because of this quote:

Eric Kripke said of Buffy: “I loved ‘Hush’ and ‘Once More, With Feeling,’ but overall, Buffy really taught me about effectively using metaphor in genre. For Buffy, it was ‘high school is hell (literally),’ and Joss Whedon did such a masterful job of grounding his horror and fantasy concepts in this notion, and ultimately telling allegories about high school, which turned what could’ve been B-Movie material into an all-time classic. I used that same philosophy on my run of Supernatural, with the mantra ‘family is hell (literally),’ and always grounded my horror episodes around the notion of families, to the show’s benefit. So thanks, Joss Whedon. I owe you a beer. (Credit: The WB)

everyone wants to be Buffy lol.

-My absolute favourite thing was how competent the Winchesters are (I’m even reluctantly including John here. That bastard). They’re sneaky with local authorities, crafty about fake IDs, credit scams, research abilities, DIY supernatural detectors xDD... I loved the lack of an audience proxy, the fact that the story throws you into the deep end with people that already know their shit. And that the other side is competent too, like when Meg & YED’s plan to trap John relied on the Winchester being competent; on Sam immediately going into the defensive because, what are the chances of finding that cute weird girl a second time, miles away?; on John suspecting it was a trap and only revealing himself after Meg appears to be dead... Another scene that I loved in that sense, from 2x01 (I watched until 2x03, I wanted to see Sterling K. Brown’s first appearance lol) was how upon discovering Reapers are shapeshifters, Dean immediately knew that cute ghost he’d befriended was the one after him. I get the feeling this aspect will get lost in future season and it’s a pity, tbh.

-Related to that, some of my favourite moments: Sam straight up bribing a guy to get into the morgue when Dean’s arguments are failing (with Dean’s money!); Dean’s plan of “well, if this guy is haunting the house and there’s no other way to kill him, we burn the house. No house no haunting”; Dean telling that kid to fake appendicitis to get his parents out of the house; John blessing the tank of water knowing he’s walking into a trap with demons... I dig this stuff.

-I get whiplash sometimes, with the show making a point of (very briefly) telling you racism, homophobia or pro-life attitudes are Bad(TM) and the brothers are Against them (the Racist Truck episode, the one where a woman used a Reaper to exchange “virtuous” lives for those of sinners...), when the rest of the show is err... what it is lol. Dean is toxic masculinity’s poster boy (I was so disgusted by how he acted with Jess omfg), in s2 we don’t get the monsters’ perspective on hunters until we’ve conveniently met our first black one (I love the episode AND the character but it’s fucking true)...

-I need to make a note of paying attention to the writers credits/Bts stuff because I find this show’s progression fascinating on a metatextual level. The only problem is that audience reaction seems to have played a big role (which is a problem on one or two different levels imo xD), and tracking that down is sliiiiightly more difficult lol. Oh well (I don’t even think I want to see too much of this fandom, even to satisfy my curiosity. Some of the glimpses I’ve caught of it are disturbing to the extreme).

-The detail about dead people’s blood being toxic to vampires is SO COOL OMG. I’m tempted to steal it xD

Some random stuff:

-The monsters of the week were some legit creepy stuff.

-I love that Meg has her own hellhounds. Is that still a thing when she returns?

-Dean: you and dad are reckless and I’m going to have to be the one that buries you. / Me, with the power of foresight: 👀

-Also Dean: sometimes it scares me how good I am at killing. / Me: it scares the shit out of me how good you are at killing, too, fam.

-I get the impression Sam loses his demonic-in-origin powers later on, right? What a waste, I love those.

-I’m pretty sure at one point it’s implied John used Dean to honeytrap monsters (when he sends him as a trap for the lady vampire that stole the Colt) and I really don’t know what to do with this information.

-Cassie was GORGEOUS and even make Dean likeable for me while they lasted xDD. But given this show’s track record I’m considering the lack of more appearances a blessing.

-So many guest stars. Everyone’s been on SPN. Especially if they were on the Buffyverse first (I totally get the impulse of casting Buffy actor after Buffy actor lmfao).

-Funny how Luther Hargreeves is exactly who a lot of fans think Dean was (Dean is far, far colder imo), and yet one is constantly called pathetic and evil and the other woobified. Very Funny Indeed *coughs* (funnier still that the character I often see Dean compared to is Wynonna Earp when the parallels are kids-pool deep at best and offensive at worst. Dean is not a Wynonna. Again, Dean is an Elena Gilbert xDD).

-The two paranormal investigators were dumb as rocks, but their motto was “What Would Buffy Do” so I like them (if they ever change that to What Would the Winchesters Do or something like that I’m going to be furious lmao).

-When I want to ~chill I dress about exactly like Dean (minus the flannel I’ve seen in later seasons, you can’t pay me to wear flannel). Like, I think I have a couple of shirts that look exactly like ones of his. I don’t know how I feel about this xDD

-IDK how I’ll feel about Bobby later on (I get the impression every long-term character on this show has their hateful phases xD), but in his introduction he said the last time he saw John he threatened to shoot him (“he causes that reaction in people”), so he’s so far the most relatable character around lol.

#talking to the void #my thoughts #spn thoughts #the writing tm #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester #and others #abuse mention cw #here be negativity warning lol #spn s1 #the winchesters get to have a tag I GUESS

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #303

“if i can’t be loved, then i’ll be hated”

What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Candy corn or conversation hearts? They're both gross, don't make me pick between garbage. Do you own a lot of earrings? Not really after I weeded them out before moving. What did your backpack in high school look like? I dare say I had the dopest backpack of them all. It looked like a massive Ouija board, and the zipper was the planchet (sp?). Have you ever been to a rave? Nah. What is your favorite art medium? I have a particular fondness of oil paintings. They tend to look so smooth, and you can achieve incredible realism with them. How far away is the nearest hospital from you? Not even five minutes, I think. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My mom. What is your favorite car color? Pink, duh. How did you learn to type? We actually had a class specifically for typing in middle school. What style of wedding dress do you want? I don't have that set in stone yet, but I really do love ballgown dresses with long trains as well as a-lines with a moderate train. I love a lot, except really for mermaid dresses. Do you fit into any stereotype, or are you non-stereotypical? I don't know if I fit perfectly into any and really don't care. Would you want your first child to have your hair color? ???? I don't care about their hair lol?????? It would depend on the hypothetical father, in which case I'd probably find it cute, but this is so, so unimportant. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? Yeah, it just feels good and flowy to me. What is your favorite hair color? Natural? Probably blonde with natural darker undertones throughout. I like blonde hair because it's far easier to dye, haha. Now, if we're including DYED hair, rose gold or pastel pink is *chefs kiss* What is your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue, probz. Would you put your birthday on a different day if you could? Nah, it's fine where it is. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Valentine's. Do you vent on social media a lot? NOOOOOOOO. I barely post ANYTHING about myself on social media because I feel like I'm being annoying, self-absorbed, find anything I do actually interesting, or don't want people to think I'm a whiner. All I ever really do on social media is share or reblog funny shit, things I love, stuff I find relatable or inspirational, educational, important for whatever reason, etc... Do you have abusive parents? I am very thankful to say no. Is your house haunted? Doesn't seem like it. What's your favorite thing to watch on YouTube? I'm in a real WoW-related phase lately... Watching my favorite streamers, gold farming guides, and other various aspects of the game. What are five health problems that you have? I talk about the mental issues enough, so I guess I'll talk about physical stuff here. Uhhh I have very low blood pressure (it's a med side effect), I have extremely weak legs following muscle atrophy, I have bad tremors, especially in my hands (amplified by medication once again), maybe TMI but we're adults here and it's a legit issue that I have chronic and severe conspitation, aaaand then of course I have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) to a fucking outrageous and also humiliating degree. Ooooonce again as a prescription side effect. This answer made meds sound kinda bad, I know, but really, I'd rather have the will to live and just have to deal with these than want to die everyday and not. Do you have surgery coming up? No, let's keep it that way until I lose enough weight and when I am 110% getting loose skin removal. Which family member(s) do you look the most like? My sisters, ig. People say my mom also, but I honestly don't see it. Have you ever cried while watching a YouTube video? Yeah, usually just in let's plays, but it's happened for other reasons. Are you missing a website that just shut down? Nah, none that I know of. NO. FUCKING WAIT. So, when my laptop was fixed, a LOT of shit was wiped from it, and that included all of my goddamn Lightroom editing presets. The site they were from no longer exists, so I had to use a different, pretty sub-par one to install at least a few because it helps me get a start on editing the photograph and leaning towards the "vibe" I want before spending like 15+ minutes tuning it myself. Would you be a barefoot bride? No. Which would you rather name your daughter: Eliana, Echo, Emerald, or Ellery? Ohhh, I like these. I think I prefer "Eliana," but "Echo" is a close second. "Ellery" is nice, but it sounds too much like "celery" to name my kid that lmao. Which would you rather name your son: Maverick, Matthew, or Moses? Ugh, none, honestly. But "Matthew" wins. When was the last time you gave a speech? Like a *legit" speech? Probably not since uhhh... I guess when I argued my disability case at court? Does that even count? Have you ever been in a stampede? Well, never seen this'n in a survey before, so good job, lol. No. If you were a fairy, what color would you like your wings to be? It would depend on what I wore, really. And my hair. But probably light pink. Would you rather name your son Storm, Skylar, Sorin, or Solomon? "Sorin." "Skylar" is SO Southern, and "Solomon" sounds like the creepy kid all his classmates avoid and I ain't putting my kid through that. Did you read a devotional this morning? Not my jam. Would you rather be named Arizona, Alaska, Cali, or Georgia? Hm... "Alaska" is actually kinda cool???? And I'm white as fuck so lol????? I wouldn't mind to nickname of "Ally," anyway. Are you repulsed by ugly reptiles? lololol bro get out Did all your friends know about your first crush or was it a secret? I was definitely secretive and shy about it when I first started getting crushes. Do you ever feel insecure about going out without makeup? I feel insecure either way, so... How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? So, this is a hard question to answer. My mom was born with brown hair, but it darkened to almost black; only her daughter Katie inherited that. By some genetic magic, Dad had blond hair as a kid, but it also turned black. Like... how?????? I was born with dirty blonde hair like him, and mine turned an average brown with age. My immediate sisters have always had brown hair. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft is ballin'. Would you ever want to be famous and sign autographs? Ha, the idea of signing autographs is awful... I can't physically write very long without my carpal tunnel flaring up. Do you like your shirt to be loose or tight? LOOSE. Especially as a bigger person, tight shirts are just really uncomfortable. What is your favorite Spanish name? I don't know nearly enough to answer this. Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? I think Asia is, in general, more interesting and prettier as a whole, but I guess I'm drawn to European culture being more like my own and there are specific locations I'm interested in, like Germany or Scotland. So to answer the question, I guess Europe wins. Are there any Asians in your family? I don't believe so. Have you ever had colored braces? Haha yeah, I did that when I had them. Do you take birth control pills? Yes, just for period cramps. Without them, they can be immobilizing for me. If you live in the USA: do you feel free and safe? Ha, no. Well, not *entirely*. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? I was recovering from the stomach virus, if that counts. As in I still got sick the day before and felt iffy on my actual bday. 17th, I think? Is talking about your past painful for you? Yes. Are you a member of any support groups online? I'm a member of The Mighty site, if that counts. When I'm feeling very, very sound of mind and helpful without all the negativity being a detriment to myself, I do like going on there and trying to help or comfort people. Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, and the line was busy, and that's when I decided I was a goner. Do you ever fantasize about revenge? I uhhhhh... sometimes. What's a movie you would recommend to someone who never watches movies? Ohhh, that's hard. I don't really watch movies either, and I'm trying to think of one that essentially anyone would like, so hm. Oh, Coco is absolutely a possibility. That movie touched me so, so deeply and is high on my favorites list. It's impossible to not feel the emotions. Do you want to have grandkids? Hell, I don't want kids. Do you want to be an aunt or uncle? I already am one, and I love being an aunt. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I don't remember their names or characters in general. Did you make a lot of home videos growing up? I mean *I* didn't, but Mom filmed quite a few. Do you enjoy babysitting? NO. What's an unpopular opinion that you have? Avoiding some political ones, uhhhh. OH. HERE'S ONE. THE SCENE AESTHETIC IS FUCKING CUTE AND NOT CRINGEY AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ABOUT IT. Are you attracted to the opposite gender, same gender, or both? Both are A+. Was your first crush on someone of the same gender or opposite? Opposite. As a kid, I didn't even fathom the concept that women could date women. What is something you'll never eat again? Why? Brussel sprouts. Fucking disgusting. What is currently happening that is scaring you? Besides the very obvious answer of "Covid," I worry about my mom a lot. She's so weakened after all the chemo and meds and can do literally less than I can without heavily breathing and sweating. I just worry a lot that cancer will return sooner than we hope; I don't want it to EVER come back, but doctors say it is very, very likely at one point or another because she was so very close to Stage 4. What would be your personal hell? Being completely and entirely isolated forever while somewhere hot and humid, lol. And play one of my trigger songs on repeat eternally. What made the "weird kid" at your school weird? There was this poor guy named Alfred that was VERY clearly depressed out of his mind, and I heard him speak maybe once through all of high school, and the entire class couldn't believe it. He always sat way in the back and never smiled. I wonder how he is nowadays. What is a word you personally find offensive? "Retarded" personally offends me the most when misused and spoken as an insult. What instantly puts you to sleep? Now that is HARD to do; I have a ridiculously hard time going to sleep. The easiest way though would probably be me being drained from an emotional breakdown. That is so exhausting that I'm capable of crashing pretty fast and hard. What song is in a language you don't speak, but you love it anyway? I adore Rammstein, so there's plenty. I'll probably say "Donaukinder" is their best. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? I keep that I RP a complete secret in my "real" life for this reason unless it's like, pried out of me. What's a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Johnny Got His Gun. See how goddamn disgusting war is. What was the most unexpected good thing that's ever happened to you? Ha, realizing I was bisexual after once being homophobic. What is the funniest fact you know? Oh man, I know a lot of random trivia shit, really, so it's hard to say. Maybe that quokkas throw their offspring at predators to distract and escape from them... As awful as that is, c'mon, you gotta admit it's funny and shocking with just how adorable they are. What was your 'mic drop' moment? Oh, I don't know. Possibly when I publicly came out as bi on Facebook and made it abundantly clear that I gave no shits about some homophobic friends and family & I was beyond willing to let anyone's ass go over it. What's the kindest way a stranger has treated you? I remember as a kid at McDonald's, the woman in front of our car paid for our food; apparently seeing a mom, dad, and three kids in a van was enough that she wanted to just be kind and give us a smile. We have no idea who she was, never saw her face or anything, she was just a sweet woman. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? Okay, I'm going to let go of all hatred for my body weight-wise and just think of this as from a strictly natural design perspective, in which case I'd say my toes are too small. What age are you afraid of turning and why? 30, because I'm terrified of getting there and seeing I've possibly gone nowhere. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? I'm keeping this question in just because I think there could be some interesting answers for others, but I'm witholding my answer because nobody wants or needs to know lmao. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Acting better than others and belittling. Who's a villain you sympathize with and why? D A R K I P L I E R because of his origins and overall purpose and just simply existing. What is something you regret to NOT have done? I have this oddly weird regret of not going like, all-all the way with He Who Shall Not Be Named????? Idk why though????? Considering I loved him way too much and I was a reckless and impulsive person who probably at some point would have wound up accidentally pregs????? What a fuckin trip that woulda been. What movie changed your life for the better? None have really "changed my life." What book you think should be directed as a film? Oh, idk. Most I can think of have been. Of all the decades you've lived in, which one have you liked best? The 2000s, probably. A carefree kid. How are you doing today? I'm exhausted. While out with Mom and my sisters yesterday, we got behind a van whose driver was obviously drunk or high off his goddamn ass, and he was swerving EVERYWHERE, nearly shoving so many cars off the road. Mom called 911 to get in contact with highway patrol to report his dumb fucking ass in. I was having an absolute panic attack and cried quietly like the entire 45 or so minute drive home. I was just so, so upset because this is why I don't fucking drive, and I felt like I'd made my sister (who was driving) mad because she had to firmly tell me I had to calm down (I was hyperventilating and talking to myself to try to calm down) if she was going to focus and keep us safe. She later ensured me she wasn't mad, but I still wasn't the same the entire rest of the day. Anyway, I slept hard last night but had two nightmares, so I'm still really tired today. I'm trying to keep myself really distracted. What's something your relatives don't know about you? A whole lot really, considering beyond my very immediate family, I see almost nobody because they live many states away. What's something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Mom would spank us or slap an arm pretty hard if my sisters or I misbehaved or "disrespected" her by "talking back." I'm not having kids, but I would never, ever, ever, put my hands on them in any way that isn't loving. You do not teach children via inflicting fear. I also have this probably overly strong aversion to beer because that's what Dad always drank as an alcoholic. I'll probably never try it, not that I really want to because it smells awful. What's the most annoying thing your pet does? I feel like "annoying" is the wrong word for this, but Roman (my cat) can be incredibly demanding of attention and to lie on me when I'm on the laptop in bed, and sometimes I just want space and be able to clearly see the screen, haha. He will legit meow like a baby and gently swat my arm sometimes if I try to keep him back. Heeee usually gets his way. As for Venus (snek), she does nothing "annoying" either, but rather a bit concerning to a snake mom: she is usually very slow to find and strike her food. I feed her frozen/thawed mice, and she will first slither around her entire cage, tongue flicking and clearly looking for her food, even though I always place it atop the same spot on her hide, and she can have her head RIGHT beside it and still do nothing. She ultimately generally eats (as a ball python though, she's a picky eater and will occasionally reject a meal), but I of course wonder why she's odd about dinnertime... As a champagne, she does have the notorious "spider gene" in her, which can cause neurological issues, but idk if something like this could be related.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''rise rebel resist'' by otep

[paint-music-with-me]

Me: I wanna go to sleep

My brain: something I will never forgive about Dont Breathe (2016) is the fact that it gave a shit twist in the second act where instead of continuing being an interesting concept of a battle between a blind man and 3 burglars in a house of horrors, it becomes a fucking creepy story abt why this blind man has a young girl trapped in his basement. Like of all the fucking twists, they had to choose this one? I just- I was fucking hyperventilating in my chair, in the theater because NOTHING would've prepared me for that whole clusterfuck! NOTHING! Like I understand we as an audience were meant to only be sympathetic towards the main girl, and the blind man was always meant to be the antagonist because he becomes the hunter once those burglars enter the home. However, there was absolutely no need for his hostility to turn into a creepfest of him kidnapping his daughter's best friend who suffers from survivor's guilt and then repeatedly r*pe her to impr*gnate her to....have another daughter ????? Like...aahh!!! To me, that doesn't make sense!!! I would've changed it to legit take out that whole r*pe aspect because eww what the fuck?? That shit just...is fucking disgusting and I don't want to hear about "but oh he's the antagonist and he's this and that". No for me the way I see it is this: you have this older man, disabled, living in a dilapidated home, no support, no help, alone, who is a veteran suffering from grief, possibly his own survivor's guilt, and possible PTSD. This man needs help. Then there's the main girl who the audience is following. She's not in the same exact position as Blind Man but she is a single parent, worried abt her child being influenced negatively by the environment she's in, in need of help, alone, financially suffering. So these two characters have similarities but they are different because one character has nothing left to lose and the other does. But it couldve stayed tied to the daughter/child-parent aspect of the story. Like maybe after the Blind Man realizes that one of the burglars is a young woman, he gets aggrieved because maybe she reminds him of his daughter. So he goes ahead and plans a booby trap for her in the house. Once he captures her, he leads her to his daughter's bedroom and basically tries to father her. His paternal instincts and his grief come out in the most pitiful ways that you can ever see from someone who's done something wrong yet the audience knows that "hey this guy is still grieving" because we can discern when something is wrong but also be compassionate. Ofc the guys try to save her from the Blind Man, but he is lost in his grief that he still tries to kill the other guys but wants to keep the girl with him "safe and sound". This can still play along with the main girl's story because she's literally trying to escape the confines of everything around her and be there for her daughter. I just-....I've not stopped thinking about this movie for a long time and it's mainly because of how it was written the way it was. It just had an interesting concept that was ruined because idk they wanted to make it more creepy? Weird? Shocking? Shocking, yeah, but def not in a good way

Me: ok bitch move the fuck on

#blabber time #dont breathe 2016 #AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THEY ARE MAKING A SEQUEL!??! #but the blind man is the protagonist?!?! #AND I THINK IT MAY BE THE SAME ACTOR #SO I AM FUCKIN LOST AND POSSIBLY LIVID #I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHY #WHY THERES A SEQUEL??? #LIKE THATS WHAT I DONT UDNERSRNAD #im sooo fucking tired and its 130am #fml #movie stuff