#like literally i reached a point in my current wip where i was like in a healthy environment this person would now receive mental support

[exhausted-eternally]

Fic Writer Interview

Saw Topsy did this and it looked like fun so now Imma pester y'all with one.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35, currently, and only 1 is for a fandom other than The Lego Movie lmao

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

496,195 over the course of 6 years

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1- Reboot To be honest, I'm kind of baffled by this one. I started it just when covid was really starting to take off, lost where I was going with it before I was even halfway through writing it because I got SO swamped with work that writing was taken off the stove entirely for a while, and a lot of it was honestly just half-assed to get it finished but so many people LOVE it. I don't think I'll ever stop scratching my head about it, but at this point I've just accepted that it's my most popular fic ever. 2- Atonement Still ongoing and without a clear ending in mind yet. I had 2 ideas I was wanting to play with when I started it- wingfic, and house arrest. I've been having fun with it so far. 3- Prizes, Plunder, and Adventure This one was actually written based on a friend's doodles & half-finished ideas. I took them & ran with them as far as I could lol. I'm honestly happy that this one's in my top 5. 4- Hot Spring Another one that I'm kind of baffled by. It's a oneshot that's barely over 400 words. People like their coppernauts fluff, I guess lol 5- Time Travel Troubles This one was based on a prompt a friend gave me when I complained that I wanted so badly to write but had 0 ideas, lol. Of all my oneshots, I'm glad this one made it into my top 5.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most of the time! Sometimes I can't think of a response though, and once I got overwhelmed with like 25 comments on one fic in one night from the same person so my brain kind of short-circuited lol. I definitely read and cherish every single one though.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angst tbh, so none of my fics really have angsty endings.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

That's a tough one to pick, I always write happy endings. XD; I guess I'll go with Starting Over Again.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Sort of; honestly I think they'd qualify more as AUs than proper crossovers, but sometimes I just get bit by a bug to write all my favorite characters in some other media settings for shits & giggles. Murphy's Law (Skyrim), Space Shenanigans (Star Wars), The Stranger (Myst), Octan Nights (1001/Arabian Nights), and Hollow Heart (Beauty and the Beast)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah, when I first started posting Murphy's Law on ff.net. Honestly it just made me laugh, it was so obviously some kid doing a shit job of being a troll.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I tried once. It was SO awful that I ended up deleting it and swore off ever trying again.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. The fandom I'm in is pretty small so no one's bothered to translate any fics in it, at least as far as I know.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh, eons ago when I was still just a little baby birb. I wrote a pitiful attempt at an OoT fic with 2 of my cousins that never got far. All my works since have been solo.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Coppernauts. C:

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Lord I have SO MANY. Think I'd pick Tech Support though (with a much better rewrite to boot, so no link for this one. If you want to read the atrocious original, you'll have to hunt it down yourself :P).

15. What are your writing strengths?

I'm told I'm pretty good with characterization. I'll choose to believe it. ;3

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing literally anything. I am terrible for just... not doing it. Which is something I REALLY need to work on if I really want to reach my 300k goal with The Umiran Amulet.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There's only one language I can speak in any capacity, so I just stick with English. If it's something that's meant to be in another language, I just italicize it. Only every once in a blue moon will I use a word in another language, like if a character is swearing in their native tongue, and only if I'm absolutely 100% certain it's the right word.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Ocarina of Time. It was the fic I mentioned earlier that I wrote with my 2 cousins.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I don't really have any, at least at this time. I am very, VERY slow to move between fandoms & ships and am probably still going to be quite happily writing for TLM even when there's literally only 5 of us left lol.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'd have to say The Atlantis Expedition, which was my first ever fic for the TLM fandom, and the first one I'd ever finished period. I have others that I love just as much, but this one will always have a special place in my heart.

#the lego movie #coppernauts #gcbc #benny the spaceman #president business #lord business #good business #emmet brickowski #wyldstyle #unikitty #vitruvius #metalbeard #general mayhem #sweet mayhem #queen watevra wa'nabi #rex dangervest

[batmanschmatman]

3, 6, 23 ❤️❤️❤️

what are some fics that you go back and read again and again? one of my absolute favorites is Give Me Light, Give Me Life which has been orphaned but has all my favorite Winnix tropes and is extremely cute, I literally reach for this one first every time I want to reread something. I also love More Than a Team, which has some great outsider perspective on Dick and Nix as a couple and Nix being a great BIL to Ann. Also Cats & Dogs by some author you've probably never heard of. :3

what's a headcanon that you will die on that hill? tbh I'm at that point in this fandom where it's hard to clearly ID headcanon vs. Things That Are Just True, so here are some of my favorite "not technically clearly defined in the show" things in no particular order: Dick's shallow foxhole in Bastogne is just where he hangs out during the day when he's not actively at the CP, he shares Nix's more palatial one to huddle for warmth regardless if they're a couple yet. Mary Frank Sledge and various other close family members of The Boys are clumsily accepting of their relationships - or at least very don't ask don't tell about why Babe moved to Louisiana to live with a war buddy - because it did historically happen (read Coming Out Under Fire by Allan Berube if you haven't already!) and the world is depressing enough without needing to drag it into my pretendy fun times. Joe genuinely does like to read and while isn't as formally educated as Web does grow to like swapping books with him and getting into heated debates about them. When they move in together post war, he's a very critical but ultimately constructive editor of Web's articles and books. Ron becomes penpals with Lip's mom while he's in Korea. Not explicitly headcanon but it's historical truth that Gene Sledge would occasionally send the paper letter version of an angry group chat to Burgie, Snaf and their other friends when he didn't like folks interviewing him for books about the war and that is 100% a thing he and Dick both do lol. Harry often house sits for Dick and Nix's dog when they're off on adventures. Harry has also clocked them as a couple from the instant he stepped in on them arguing in "Currahee" and is just The Ultimate Bro and never says anything.

what's your favorite wip of yours? as you well know, I don't have a lot of wips currently, but I have been meaning to brush off some old finished unplublished fics including a sequel to the sledgefu soulmate au fic I posted on AO3 a million years ago and a daemon au thing with Snaf and Mary Frank Sledge.

#band of brothers #the pacific #hbo war #hbowar

[lilithvibeplace]

Oooh, I'm curious to hear about that "eldritch hunting in the pnw" WIP if you'd like to talk about it

omg yes i'd love to talk abt it!!

It's a very very new oc i created literally a week ago and currently doesn't even have the honour of a plot beat-sheet like Valentina but I'm hoping to add it to the Modern Horrors Anthology (which is what im calling all my short stories unrelated to my worldbuilding)

Okay that all aside it's name is Vladimira (i'm addicted to V names dont ask idk why) and it's whole gist is that it's an eldritch horrors hunter (think Hunt: Showdown aesthetics), but unlike most of my other short stories it's already in that phase where it's lost its humanity (you may have noticed i gave it it/its pronouns, this is largely why) and is working towards rediscovery of what it means to be human before it becomes one of the eldritch horrors itself

the short story itself takes place during a fun little hunt in the PNW (because i can easily reference geography being the nature obsessed Cascadian I am) during a hunt with an eldritch beast causing terror in some rural forest communities, but considering again it has already reached it's breaking point of humanity, this is the climax of it as a character and they become overcome with rage and grief at everything they've sacrificed and become just blinded by this raging regret it has for the life it sacrificed to protect people that don't even give it the praise it believes its worthy of, culminating in a tragic and twisted turn to becoming a hunter to the hunted (it doesn't realize it's being hunted for becoming a horror itself, it thinks it's just more eldritch beasts, it physically cant comprehend the idea that people would start to fear it just as much as the horrors that it kills)

it's a play on those revelatory tropes where authors will go "and then the character is praised as a hero for committing atrocities & discovers that they can forgive themselves for everything they did! woo!" no, vladimira is going through hell and will remain blinded by this rage until itself is killed in a horrific cycle of violence of hunter to hunted

it's very precious to me i love it but i do need to flesh it out a lot more like maybe WRITING A FUCKING BEAT SHEET FOR IT (i will get to it eventually i swear)

#omg an oc ask <33 #tqvibe #the horrors oc anthology #vladimira oc #writing vibes

[maiverie]

HI DO U HAVE ANY TIPS ON STARTING A TUMBLR BLOG? like how you format your links and everything i'm new and want to start a blog but don't know how 😭😭

hi anon!!! omg sure yes I dooo!!! when I started I didn't have anyone to help me so it was literally such a shitshow lmfao so I HOPE THIS HELPS!!

— (long post below)

disclaimer: this is all based on my experience and im sure there are other users with better tips than me so DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR GOSPEL BAHAHA

(also I'm going to assume you reached out to me because you want to start a kpop writing blog and not smth else, so all these tips are obv specific to writing blogs. I also don't know how experienced u are w Tumblr so I might say some obvious things,, sorry if you already know most of these things!!)

anyway tumblr is actually really intuitive and after about two days I honestly think you'll get it (probably even within a day tbh). here are some quick steps I feel like make sense in my mind:

find a url (if you're starting a kpop writing blog,, most people seem to include the name/a reference to their bias but in my case i kinda just went w my name and played around w it until I liked it 😭 you can also search for "url ideas" in tumblr if you're having trouble!!) keep in mind you can literally change it at any point in time so don't worry about choosing the -perfect- one

set up your blog! most of the time, people have a navigation post (the pinned post where everything is linked so readers can navigate ur blog easily), a masterlist (a post that shows everything you've ever written), a wip list (a post that lists all your works in progress, so fics you're currently writing and want to publish in the near future). additionally, people have a post about themselves (like an about me section with blog rules and stuff. this is my old old one). personally, i have a carrd right now (this is mine here) and you'll find other users have one or the other!

set up your navigation post: hyperlink honestly everyone's different (btw don't worry about taking these tips too seriously bc honestly u should do whatever you want on your blog — it's yours after all!!) but I think most people include their name, pronouns, age (sometimes), timezone (sometimes) and hyperlinks to their masterlist + wip list.

how to hyperlink im sure you've done it before for school, but it's really easy! here's a demonstration — this link will send you to my navi, and this link will send you to one of my fics! to do it, you just need to copy the link of whatever post you're trying to hyperlink (three dots in the top right of the post -> "copy link"), typesomething, double click onto the word you're trying to link it to, tap the 🔗 button, and copy the link into that! (in this example, it'd look like this: something.)

how to make ur navi neat/pretty personally, I used to just search for moodboards (on tumblr) and pick 3 photos that I really liked (obviously give credit to whoever made the moodboard!). what I have now is just something that I designed but you can have one or the other, it doesn't really matter! other tips I think I'd suggest is to keep it as simple as possible; you can embellish it later but make sure it's easy to read and people can see all the links! I really like searching for "symbols" on Tumblr, and then there are cute lil symbols u can add to your post :) or just use emojis! or dashes! this might be a little ahead, but I have a tutorial on gradient text if you really care, but maybe focus on the base first :D just as an example, my moot @.hazyyu has a really pretty navi!

apply the same principles to your masterlist + wip list + about me just search for symbols, add whatever images you think look pretty, search for "line breaks" on Tumblr and there are pictures of links you can use to divide stuff up! making a carrd is easy but time-consuming (just search on YouTube "carrd tutorial")

there are other caveats to a writing blog, but those were just the basics! here are some other things I thought I could mention:

a permanent taglist is a list of people you tag every single time you publish a story/update it (for the purpose of them being notified every time you post) — sometimes people will ask u to "add me to your permanent taglist!" which just means tag them every time you post a story. personally, I have a google form for anyone that wants to be on the permanent taglist, but I didn't do that initially — I used to just wait until people sent in an ask asking to be on it and then I'd have a separate post with everyone who did. for example, this was my old one! doesn't matter whichever approach you do ^^

people also organise their blog via the hashtags I do this too! it's so much easier that way :)) for example, every time I get an ask, I tag it with "#ask" (umm a lot of people are much more creative w their tags but personally icb lmaoo — here's an example of my friend who used a different tag and it's really pretty!). if you want help with organising your blog w tags, here's an explanation I wrote a while back!

if you want help promoting your work, you should consider joining a few networks! these are basically big big blogs that reblog all your work so more people can see ur stuff ^^ here are some of the ones I'm a part of: kflixnet, enhanet, k-labels!

you'll meet other users along the way and call them your moots; most of the time this just means you interact w them a lot via asks/dms. personally I'm not really active and I kinda find it hard to keep track of a lot of moots so I stick to myself and interact w anyone that comes my way!! but bae u can do whatever u want!! go find blogs of people that seem rlly cool and send an ask and just see where it goes; just don't badger people, be nice and I think you'll pick up on sm things naturally!!!

ur blog is gna look great!!! let me know when you finish setting it up!!! I hope this helps 😋💖

#ask #@ : anon ♡︎ #vis à vis ꒰ advice ꒱ ✰ #questions about

[mistysharks]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @hilarychuff thank you! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11! For now:)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

75,643

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Stranger Things for now! I would love to branch out but the hyperfocus does what it wants and I am just along for the ride!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm Stupid (Do Me) Steddie/M/Getting together/first time (first one I wrote of them!)

All you have is your fire (and the place you need to reach) Hellcheerington/E/Sex Pollen

Five times Steve Walked in on Eddie and Chrissy (And one time they walked in on him) Hellcheer + Hellcheerington Pre-slash/M/Accidental Voyeurism

5 times Steve absolutely didn't have a bisexual meltdown (and one time he did) Hellcheer + Hellcheerington/M/Getting together

Some lonely night we can get together (and I'm gonna tie your wrists with leather) E/Hellcheerington/ final part of my Vampire Eddie and Chrissy series!

(I need to start doing shorter titles :') )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Almost always, though it might take me a while! I always appreciate them all <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ok so honestly? I don't do angst much haha, and literally never sad endings. Its all gonna be tied up with a neat little happy bow from me, baby! I think I left chapter 3 of Bardic Inspiration in a pretty sad state - does that count?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Orgasms cout, right? ;D Right now what comes to mind though is the only fix-it fic I've really written - (I only need) the working of my hands Where I give Hellcheer the happy, sexy ending they deserve (but make it Sapphic with a side of coming back wrong)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! Fingers crossed it remains that way! I usually try and stay miles away from any fandom drama tbh

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I am determined to! Like sure I would call some of what I've already written smut but I feel like I'm not quite fully there yet. I haven't fully realised the lengths of perversion/intimacy hyperfixation that sits in my mind! Its an ongoing process hehe

Regarding what flavour of smut I write, its always queer, soft, and a little gothic in the undertones... Would love to do some more genderqueer stuff in the future as well

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet! I'm not against them, and I loove a good AU, but nothing has stuck so far. Maybe one day I'll write that Stranger Things Persona 4 AU. (look it would work so well!! Eddie as Kanji makes me feral ngl)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I love that that is a thing people do <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but that would be super fun! I tried RP once couldn't get into it:( Sharing ideas and bouncing plot points is always fun though:)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Thats too hard! I'm just gonna do a current top 5 lol 1. Steddie 2. Hellcheerington 3. Hellcheer 4. Lan Zhan/Wei Ying (Untamed) 5. Kanji/Naoto(P4)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have 2 unpublished, lengthy chapters of a Steddie pirate AU that I love but I really don't know how to keep going with :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm pretty proud of how I set the mood of a scene - the colours, the light, the sounds... just hinting at a feeling without describing the feeling itself.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I can like, either do super dialogue heavy bits, or really descriptive bits, and its so hard to marry the two together!! ahh!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Look english is hard enough lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry potter haha, wrote some truly terrible angsty self-insert when i was 14 (luckily that is gone forever!!)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Honestly, I really love When I am done, its such a snap-shot kind of fic, and its got such a mood that I love. Keeping a one-shot simple and to the point is really difficult, and I think this one is my best attempt at it.

Thanks for tagging me as always, Hil! I'm tagging whoever reads this hehe - if you made it this far you should totally do it too (these are fun!)

#tag meme #<3 #steddie #Hellcheerington #hellcheer #fic talk

[steelycunt]

reading your blog like a little newspaper and enjoying the little snippets and i’m realising i know literally nothing about what your current wip is about. is anything known??? or is it just about nothing at all but vibes which would be so so lovely as well

hello bab!! thank you!! and as for the wip. the thing with me is that im very much vibes over plot so really anything i write tends to be like that!! but i can give you the premise xx the wip is from r’s pov!! it is set in late-ish 1979 directly after his mothers death, which results in him making the decision to move from his home in wales to london where everyone else is living since leaving school xx and they are. 19 going on 20 at this point + he has been in love with s since he was 13, and has sort of reached a stage there where he has resigned himself to the fact that if s felt the same way about him/if the two of them were ever going to get together, it probably already would’ve. happened by now. so he’s just trying to sort of get on with his life xx which goes about as well as you’d expect xx the big thing for me in writing this one was writing r’s character and his pov since he is my most special princess, and then there’s war + pining + him being put through the ringer often too :-))

#it’s very much. a fic i am writing for me i think. like i would like to think people will enjoy it but most importantly i am enjoying #writing it it’s the sort of mundane domestic type thing i like doing most :-) which may be a little dull if it’s not your thing but that is #okay!! the goal is really just to end up with something im proud of and happy with because i tend to dislike a lot of things i write when i #look back on them. but it’s coming along well i think there are lots of silly little details in there that i love a lot :-) #tsah #telegram #anon

[jinkookspencil]

so.... i think i've decided to take a turn with my fics.

minors dni with this post

i think i'm staying away from writing smut. i will still write borderline smutty and suggestive things (i have sooo many of those i want to write) but it won't reach the point of them going through the whole "process" if you know what i mean. talking about s3x, the lead up, and the aftermath i'm okay with but the actual... "happening" when they "reach a certain point" is what i'd like to stay away from.

i can't explain it idk if this is a passing feeling but i've been pretty sure about this for a few months now, to the point where i'm considering doing something about my current, uploaded smuts.

the fics that would be affected are:

don't be so gentle

game night (i'd likely delete a paragraph only)

take off your glasses (this one is making me reconsider the whole decision lmao >.< so i might leave it until i figure out how to rework it i'll likely delete a huge chunk)

the only smut that will stay safe is a better grip because it's a chubby girl smut <33333

when i do write smutty things going forward they will be more in the style of:

comfortable, bare, and hungry (fluff but they're naked post-s3x)

this love (making out heavillly and his hand is in a certain place :))

no pyjamas (the fic ends suggestively after he's already making out with her and they're both turned on - might get the axe if i end up feeling even stronger about this)

i'm not sure if there's a certain etiquette, but: should i edit my fics or should i delete them entirely (& possibly reupload as a less smuttier version?) is there a "proper" way to go about it? in either case i'd make it clear (this is an edit/reupload)

i don't know when i'd do this, i have a smutty thing i want to upload (might post it for a bit then delete it or i might just leave it up since it involves curvy readers and we need more curvy reader fics) but i just thought i'd ask while it was on my mind also if u see me upload smut in the future after all this... just... respectfully.... mind ya business and remember the hold these men have over us kskjwdnjkwe

so yeah lmk please <3 sorry if this is disappointing to anyone, it's disappointing to me too, they're literally among my most popular fics but... i can't shake this feeling

also my other 2 requests wips are coming! one is done i'm just waiting a bit before uploading since i just uploaded one recently

#bts fanfiction #fanfiction advice #fanfiction tips #pen is having a crisis #pen talks

[farfromdaylight]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @anneapocalypse! i'm lazy (and should be working on nano oops) so i'm not tagging today, but take it if you want.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

37. (Add 16 if you want to count my old account.)

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

302,601. (Add 37k for my old account.)

I have written approximately 500,000 words of fic that has never seen the light of day. Maybe one day it will.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Final Fantasy, primarily, with a focus on XIV and VII these days. I've written sparsely for other fandoms.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

catching sunbeams - Miraculous Ladybug, Marinette/Adrien

remember me when i die (for you) - FFXIV, Crystal Exarch

forget-me-(not) - FFXIV, Warrior of Light &/ Crystal Exarch

the miniskirt - FFXIV, Warrior of Light/Crystal Exarch (NSFW)

roaming sheep - FFXIV, Warrior of Light/G'raha Tia (NSFW)

It's kind of nice for almost all of my most-kudos'd fic to be in my current fandom. It helps, of course, that I write the most popular ship in it. The highest-kudos'd fics were posted near the height of their respective fandoms, so.

I'm also very pleased roaming sheep has done this well! In my experience, oneshots do better than longfic with regard to kudos.

This got long so here's a cut...

5. do you respond to comments?

Yep! I try to reply to all of them, though if someone leaves multiple comments at a time on a chaptered fic I might just reply to the last one. I'm sure I've missed some along the way but I'm always thrilled to get a comment.

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angst isn't really the right word, but dead end (FFVII, Cid & Vincent) has a very deliberate ending. I tried to write it like a horror movie, where the ending is sometimes ambiguous or otherwise inconclusive.

Or, well. I suppose roaming sheep has an exceptionally angsty ending, LOL.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's gotta be the oath, which is literally wedding fic.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Nope, never.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Any kind, though I'm pretty inexperienced with F/F fics -- I love many F/F couples but I've never been driven to write fic about them, so I'm lacking in that regard.

These days, if I want to write NSFW fic on its own, it's less likely I'll publish it. I'll write it, but I'll keep it to myself. (I wrote a 15k fic earlier this year in this vein.) I've gotten to the point that I generally want the porn to be part of the plot. That said, I do have some ideas for oneshots, so you never know.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The Fallout/Final Fantasy VII one is the big one. The total fic is almost 350k. I have posted 10k of it. Maybe one day I'll be able to revise it.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not fic, but I've posted some RP before. This was generally not the best idea as it's rare for a RP thread to reach completion, and interests change, etc.

I guess actually blinded by light (FFXIV, WoL/Exarch) counts for this to a degree, because a good chunk of Mel's dialogue was written by @shepherdtostars; I just turned it into fic.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

My OCs, who I've loved for 20 years. They're married, in love, and I have written approximately 2 million words about them.

I don't have a favorite fandom ship.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

stares at beyond the vault... i love you but you're such a behemoth, why did i do this to myself

16. what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! I can write banter all day long.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Description. I see the scene in my head like a movie, so I forget... that not everyone does... and I have to write the scene I'm seeing LMAO. I'm working on it.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

This is an oddball question. Just write it? Like, either write "they said in (language)" or get an accurate translation of what you want to say.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon, probably. Or Digimon.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Waffling between dead end and blinded by light. dead end was a real stretch for me in a lot of ways and I'm still very proud of it all these years later. blinded by light is just fun, I really like rereading it. heaven can wait (FFXIV, WoL/Exarch, NSFW) falls in this category too, I'm so happy with it.

#ficblogging #meme answers

[starport-seven-five]

Finally doing this! I am eternally grateful to @mirilyawrites for the tag!!!

Rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

Top 5 works I'm proudest of:

The Bored and the Furious (Sylki, E) mostly for my realistic sadist Sylvie

The Beauty And The Grace (Sylki/Lokius, M) because it was deeply personal and the first multi chapter fic I've ever done

In the face of certain doom (Sylkius, E) because it's so emotional and for the longest time I struggled with the setup

(Can't get) Away From This Love Affair (Sylki/Lokius, E) because I think it's so unique and very different from the rest of my work up to that point, and because it has my first (tiny, shitty) fight scene

Nothing But Time (Lokius, E) because I feel like I really captured a lot of what drew me to the ship in that one

Top 4 current wips l'm excited about:

-my fanfic of @dewdropreader's fanfic!

-Lokius body worship fic (aka I'm super horny for the Mobius tummy so Loki needed to be, too)

-the Lokius reunion kiss fic that is somehow both all there in my head and fighting me tooth and nail at the same time

-the sequel to my angstfest It Wasn't You (which is literally just more angst, please don't expect any resolution)

Top 3 improvements in my writing:

-I branched out a TON with what kinds of fics I wrote! From mostly just PWP to fluff, angst, humor, /reader, and more.

-I got more confident taking risks with things like figurative language, more 'artistic' formats, etc.

-this might sound weird, but I got more comfortable with using pronouns with scenes involving two characters with the same pronouns. I used to do that thing where I would avoid two 'he's in the same sentence, for fear of confusing the reader. But it always felt clunky. I got comfy with the idea that the reader is intelligent enough to figure it out in most places, and I think my writing flows so much better now.

Top 2 writing resolutions:

-finish some of these older WIPs that are all but abandoned 😅

-write or continue to write for other, non-Loki fandoms

(Possibly killing two birds with one stone by finishing off that nearly 15 year old Sparrabeth WIP 😂)

Number 1 favorite line:

To be honest, probably a toss up between these two:

Into these two precious entities who hold him, who behold him, who have taken him apart and put him back together so many times there’s not a single cell of his body, a grain of his soul, they’ve not seen and held and turned over in their hands in reverent examination before replacing it, all of it, exactly as it was. Exactly as he is.

-Parts of one whole (Sylkius, M)

That this man, who in reality was nothing more than ordinary and mortal, had taken the time to open him up, peeling back layer after layer, exposing him, digging deep, reaching down inside and holding his heart in his hands; that he had done all of that and seen him laid bare, seen all of him, and had stayed, had asked him to stay, had deemed him worthy; that for some reason, Loki had let him, had felt him chipping away at his defenses and allowed it; had offered up his heart for the taking and felt it safer, even, in Mobius’s hands than in his own.

-Nothing But Time (Lokius, E)

And they're basically the same exact sentiment 😂 But so accurate!

Tagging absolutely anyone who wants to do this of course but also @playinggalaga @chaos-monkeyy and @andy-skull!

#fanfic #sylki #lokius #sylkius #ask games #wips #writing

[nanzyn]

I need you all to just listen to to following series of events that culminated in the most thing to happen to me in a while

I join [fandom] and start writing short-ish one shots for it

I make a side blog and in the drafts of the sideblog is where I store my drafts until I move them over to ao3 since I'm moving away from using gdocs and calmly writer, the other writing program I have on my laptop, is only accessable on my laptop so I don't use it too much, only sporadically. This is important. Remember that.

I start another fic around 5 months ago

I forgot what happened here, but at some point I took the 100 or so words I initially started with when I made the draft on the sideblog and wrote another ~1k words to add to it. Somewhere along the lines what happened to those 1k words got lost and the only remnant I have is the starting 100 words on the tumblr draft

Pissed that I lost my writing I abandon it for other wips

I write ~13+ fics, amounting to over 32k words in this fandom over the last 5 months or so. And those are just the ones I've posted

Having had enough time pass and having a hard time coming up with new ideas, I revisit the old fic I abandoned

Only, my house has no wifi currently

So my options are 1. Write it all on my phone, which has two bars of service at most, and run the risk of losing everything again if it doesn't save right, or 2. Bite the bullet and transcribe the 100 or so words to calmly writer and then continue it there and move it back over to tumblr when I have wifi again

I take option 2.

I open calmly and ignore the literal 10 tabs of wips I have named vague things like "the og" and "a" and "h" that open on startup

I open a new draft.

I hand transcribe the stuff over from where I pulled the draft up on my phone, then spend the next hour and a half ish writing another 1.5k words of stuff i know I've already written but assume lost.

I reach a breaking point. I sit back and do some minor edits before getting bit by the curious bug

I flit through some of the tabs of wips

Most of them are from fandoms I'm not in anymore

But one

The one titled h

It started off familiar.

Oh, I say.

You've got to be kidding me.

There it is. All 1472 words I wrote months ago, hidden away in calmly writer and assumed lost.

And painfully rewritten three tabs over.

I'm gonna cry.

#bones talks #im about to go feral #full fucking rabid

[tyrannuspitch]

fic title ask game: this house says my name like an elegy (you're mine; oh my)

(yes they're[.. lightly misheard] song lyrics lol.)

oh this is OUTSTANDINGLY baz pitch. the title but also the song as a whole. baz as a character is ALL ABOUT family names as possession and house-meaning-family and ghosts and curses and fire imagery.

however, whenever i try to get further than that, i hit a wall and come back to a WIP that already exists, so i guess i'll just have to tell you about that. (current working title: the unquiet grave.)

in this AU, baz is a late-victorian ghost still lonesomely haunting his family's abandoned mansion, and simon is a mid-2010s(?) washed-up journalist / reluctant ghost hunter. simon is the first significant living human presence in the house since a few years after baz's death, and he kind of "wakes" baz from a dream-like state into more normal, living-seeming consciousness... and they start to form a weird little melancholy bond.

important (title-relevant) backstory: baz was meant to be the lord of the manor, pass on the family name, etc, but instead he died in his mid-20s by suicide because he couldn't face the life laid out for him by a homophobic society. (there may well have been conversion therapy involved; i would need to do more historical research and consider it very carefully.) BUT, despite his family all being dead by now, he is the only (literal) ghost remaining there. it's just him and the house that killed him and all his memories and somehow-still-lingering expectations. (and the house either has a moat or is on an island: literally surrounded by running water! ghost trap!)

simon, for his part, is coping (badly) with his relationship with agatha breaking down. they somehow got as far as engagement, even though they're not attracted to each other and don't want to be in the relationship, and simon's current work (ghost-hunting) trip is him kind of running from this reality and his queerness as a whole.

and uhhh they fall in love and simon has an awakening(tm) and they have a few very tense, sad conversations about homophobia across eras, and baz slowly reaches a point where he realises that even if the world is a long way from perfect, he does want to (or want to want to) live... and somehow it all works out to baz getting a second chance at life. BUT the house won't want to let him go. i'm still working out those details. but i am determined to make it work

-> send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i'd write for it!!

#ask memes #my writing #baz pitch #carry on #are u even into carry on. idk sorry i am in a total of two (2) entire fandoms #also this may be cheating but. it worksss okay #when i DO one day return to carry on this AU is at the top of my list for actually writing.

[gretchensinister]

WIP words: rise, stop, blue

WIP word game

My current WIP is a fic for The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance that is saved in a file called "GraGoh hands", located in my "Short Fiction" folder because I thought I was going to write 2,000 words and be done. It is now over 140,000 words and I only have one! More! Scene! and I am pretty excited about this.

There's one "rise" that shows up pretty early, when SkekGra is contemplating a very difficult question: Who the fuck is GraGoh?

The other part of why it was strange to think about becoming GraGoh again was that if GraGoh was all of SkekGra and all of UrGoh as a complete whole, then in SkekGra’s opinion GraGoh had been (and presumably would again be) a very, very weird person. (Or would GraGoh be the midpoint of everything that was SkekGra and UrGoh? What would that even look like? What was the midpoint of—of—

UrGoh had once started telling a joke at suns’ rise—There was once a skeksis who got lost in the valley of the mystics. The mystics fed him and led him to a tiny cave in which to sleep. The skeksis slept serenely until a strange and beautiful sound awakened him. The next morning, as the mystics were telling him the way back to the castle, he asked about the sound that had awoken him. “We’re sorry,” the mystics said. “We can’t tell you about the sound. You’re not a mystic.”—and had drawn the thing out all day—...then they opened the door of silver, then they opened the door of wax, then they opened the door of paper, then they opened the door of glass, then they opened the door of ice, then they opened the door of wood...—and then, in the brilliance of the desert sunset, had finally reached the point where the skeksis-turned-mystic-somehow had looked upon the source of the strange and beautiful sound. And then UrGoh paused. For much longer than usual. And so SkekGra, almost apoplectic with impatience by this point, had asked, “So what was the source of the sound?” And UrGoh had turned to him, and said, as if it should have been obvious, “I can’t tell you. You’re not a mystic.” SkekGra had literally jumped up and shrieked.

And then he’d learned what UrGoh’s uncontrolled laughter sounded like. That had been...interesting. And nice. Because that was when SkekGra had learned that more than pain could flow through their connection, his entirely justified frustration quickly ebbing away at the sound of his mystic laughing until he was laughing, too. When they’d both calmed down he’d mentioned that good feelings moved through their bond now, apparently. It had seemed obvious to SkekGra, but UrGoh hadn’t verbally agreed. He’d just smiled at SkekGra as if he knew something that SkekGra was hopelessly in the dark about. Huh. That had been odd, hadn’t it? The point was—what was the midpoint of something like that? Was it not telling the joke at all? Was it telling a better joke? A shorter one, at least? What was GraGoh’s sense of humor like?)

(That's a real joke, if you don't recognize it, except that it's about a random person and monks. It's meant to yank the chain of the person it's being told to.)

There's another sunsrise, thoughts that rise to the top of one's mind, the rise and fall of a sound, and the rise and fall of breath.

"Stop" occurs a lot in this fic, actually, so I'll share an excerpt from the first quarter or so that maybe could have been the end of the short fic I thought I was going to write. It's a moment at the end of A Extremely Significant Manicure.

SkekGra took a breath and nervously blew it out his nose. He didn’t really need to be so nervous, he’d touched all kinds of things without scratching them when he’d kept his claws this long or longer, and about this sharp, as the Conqueror. But nothing he’d touched then had mattered as much as UrGoh. “Well, I—all right, I’ll know right away if I need to stop, anyway.” He placed his hands on UrGoh’s, letting himself really feel his skin. His hands were warm, less bony than SkekGra’s, and were covered in a map of calluses that SkekGra knew would serve as a chart of UrGoh’s daily activities. These were the hands that had shown such care to SkekGra’s own, had sharpened his claws not to make him better able to be cruel or violent, but to make him more himself, to make something beautiful. To care for him. If SkekGra worried more about accidentally scratching UrGoh like this, he also found he felt more worthy of touching him with freshly shaped claws. So I’ll just touch him, he thought, it’s easy, right? I’ll just touch him like I’m memorizing the details on some finely crafted object. He moved his fingertips down UrGoh’s palms with deliberate slowness, feeling the tiny landscape of creases beneath his touch, and, yes, it was all right, he could do this, the connection between his body and brain that was familiar with having claws and modulating the pressure of his touch, that was still there, working unconsciously. He knew his claws were in contact with UrGoh’s skin, but the pressure of that contact was far from that needed to pierce or scratch. He felt no pain in his own hands. It was all right. It was all right. He could touch UrGoh.

When his fingertips finally parted from UrGoh’s, he looked up just in time to see him shiver slightly. SkekGra let out a brief laugh that was mostly breath. “Being touched by skeksis claws still kind of unsettling, even if you sculpted them, huh?”

“Unsettling…” UrGoh smiled his I-know-something-you-don’t smile. “Maybe you do unsettle me. And...sure, I shivered...but I promise you…” He reached out and used all four hands to capture SkekGra’s two. “It wasn’t, and won’t ever be, out of fear.”

Pfft, the first time "blue" shows up is in a sexual fantasy SkekGra is having about UrGoh. I'll save that for later. Actually...most of the uses of blue have to do with sex, because of UrGoh's dark blue skin. Here's one of the few that isn't. Context: UrGoh has made a little carving of SkekGra to take with him when he goes to meet the Dousan caravan for supplies.

SkekGra put his thumb on the top of the carving’s head. He hadn’t noticed right away—and he probably would have worked himself into knots over it if UrGoh hadn’t said anything. Now, though—“I’m glad—it’s good the carving doesn’t have a nail. It’s something—it happened, but it doesn’t need to—I don’t know—spread.”

“It’s not what defines you...to me.”

SkekGra paused for a long moment, looking at the strangely graceful little carving. “The face paint, though—that’s essential.”

“I wouldn’t have dreamed…of leaving it out.”

“I’ve thought—a little—of drawing you. Painting you,” SkekGra blurted. “I’d guess from this you wouldn’t mind—if it was possible to get more pigments at the caravan—but—ah, fuck, blue’s a really expensive color, isn’t it? I’m going to get used to making do, I swear I am—”

“I’ll get you blue,” UrGoh said. “And much more.”

#attack of the m-dashes #it's just how SkekGra thinks #and therefore speaks #skekgra #urgoh #gragoh #the dark crystal #the dark crystal: age of resistance

[margridarnauds]

🍄 and ♻️ !!!

🍄Describe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “_ + =__”

French Musical King Arthur Meets The Mabinogi

♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

A couple:

(1) I actually have a document in my 4thewords files that's literally called "First Attempt at Writing Kitrye", because I rapidly realized that the way I was taking the character was rapidly outpacing my initial concept. She became a lot more dignified, her religion came to mean a lot more to her (her original motivation was wanting to be a hero -- now, she really is in it primarily for Eilistraee.) There was no Malla at that point, so her isolation was really emphasized, and she hooked up with Raphael far later, because I hadn't realized exactly how much sexual tension they had. It was very much a matter of "how I initially imagined Kitrye" VS "What Kitrye became." Sometimes, I do miss aspects of Kitrye 1.0, but I think that I do understand her more and I hope that I didn't sacrifice too much to reach that understanding.

(2) Mallathalra, when she was introduced, was a lot frostier to Kitrye, even being willing to betray her to their mother. She was designed to be the anti-Kitrye, incredibly ruthless, scheming, and manipulative. The issue was that, the more I worked with the sisters, the more I became really invested in their dynamic, and eventually, after being given a stern talking to, I shelved those plans. Malla is still scheming, but she does genuinely love her sister.

(3) In a key scene, I was going to have Haarlep die. I'd thought it through a lot, I believed that it would be necessary for a variety of story reasons, even though a part of me didn't like it even at the time (like, is Raphael only monogamously with Kitrye because Option #2 is gone? I have no compunction about K/R being unhealthy or toxic, I think they are, I think it's a complex love story, but I do think that it IS a love story and that they are genuinely, epically in love. None of Kitrye's sacrifices matter if, at the end of the day, they aren't deeply in love with one another) Now, I can say that Haarlep is very likely going to live, partially to avoid those implications, partially because, frankly, I ended up liking their dynamic with Kitrye. (Kitrye is. Incredibly monogamous when it comes to her romantic relationships, so no OT3 action there, but they have this...not quite frenemies but not quite total enemies vibe. They aren't rivals for Raphael, but there is something about the other one that viscerally annoys them.)

(4) There was going to be a scene in one of the BG3 fics where we got into Glasya VS Levistus drama -- it's a shame, because I do like them a lot and whatever...thing they have going on, but I prefer introducing the other Archdevils slowly. And both of them are characters I don't want to waste by having them appear too early. (Levistus might be appearing at the very END of said fic as a stinger moment.) It's the same with Mephistopheles, where I'd love to get deeper into his relationship with Raphael and why Raphael is the way he is, but I don't want to waste him.

#THANK YOU

[vampylily]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @27-royal-teas <3 thank you, this was so fun!!

Tagging: @bipridemoth @mageshine-dance no pressure ofc!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

15 under vampylily for bandom, 37 overall. And wow, it's more than i expected??? 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

40,051 for bandom, 125,086 overall. I average about 3.3k per fic since I don’t do well with long or chaptered fics. 

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The second half of the year has been solely Fall Out Boy/Peterick lol. I also write for Kpop rpf, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, YA novels, etc. I used to write for Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but that was a looong time ago and I took a long break before I took up posting fics in 2020 again. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bandom: 

Liquid Ibuprofen for the Soul (sick fic)

Poprocks, Strawberry, Bubblegum (a/b/o pwp)

Hold Me Like I’m Yours (fake/pretend soulmates) 

Thank You For the Venom (Peterickey vampire au)

In Another Life (peterick twin skeletons cinematic universe)

Top 1 overall is the asoiaf fic.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Comments are my *favourite* thing about posting fics online. It’s amazing to know that someone out there, a real person, is reading something I wrote (insane!!) It does take me a bit to respond, mostly because I force myself to log off for a few days right after posting. But I do read all of them and go back and read them because it cheers me up and makes my whole day. Thank you to all lovely commenters! 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, I’d say In Another Life, the three lifetimes when peterick died together and one life they didn’t fic, mostly because it’s literally *all* death and sadness. Patrick has to live a life where he doesn’t even know that his soulmate is missing. Or Don’t Wake Me Up, Gerard has to live with Mikey’s death :( 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Um, does Poprocks, Strawberry, Bubblegum count? I mean it’s all pwp but the ending is the happiest because it’s post-hiatus old married contentness and they’re about to fuck. Otherwise, Down the Rabbit Hole because it’s a meet-cute and Pete and Patrick run off together to start their emo band.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. I’ve been very lucky that the fandoms I’ve been in have been quite kind to me. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. It takes years off my life when I write them and I agonize over it and I never think it’s any good and it takes me like 4 months to post them because I want to chicken out except I’ve spent too much time on it. So far I’ve only posted pwp where the smut is the central point. I’m still trying to figure out how to write long fics and mesh smut and plot together.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I write a lot of AU but no crossover fic yet. Would love to write one someday, they're so fun.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. Fingers crossed never. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Kinda? I had someone reach out to translate a Kpop fic of mine, but idk what’s the progress been with it. I think it’s a really cool fic author milestone. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I’m too finicky with my writing to effectively co-write a fic with someone (aka I’m a mess and I don’t know what I’m doing). Another fic author milestone, so maybe in the future. 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oof. I have a *lot* of favourite ships and I never really fall out of love with them either. Some make me want to write fics myself, some I’m a reader/appreciator, some stay dormant for years until it randomly makes me go insane. So no all time favourite ship, but I’m a fan of pete/patrick currently. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh man, I got tons. I have a lot of ideas for fics that I know are out of my creative/skill level. Mostly because it’s long fics! One idea is sentinel/guide peterick au and it’s really intricate and long and it’s about dependent partnerships and physical intimacy and there’s two sides of the story where it’s guide!pete and sentinel!patrick and sentinel!pete and guide!patrick. It only exists in my head because it’s really convoluted and I don’t know where I’m going with it. 

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh, that’s a tough question. Uhhhhhhhhh. Hmmm. 

I’m very much an newbie amatuer writer and I struggle with basically every single fic I write. I like to think I’m alright with descriptive stuff? Don’t know yet tbh. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh verb tenses for sure. I randomly start changing tenses when I’m doing my first/word vomit draft and it’s like girl, what are you doing!! I write whatever scene comes to mind so it’s a pain to edit and make it all fit into a whole fic.

Which leads to another weakness: long fics/finishing wips. I have a ton of wip laying around and it can be really difficult to edit and write more than the specific scenes/lines that first sparked the idea. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Oh hmm. I’d rather write the English dialogue and put it in italics to signify it’s in a different language. In the fandom I write for there aren't many situations where dialogue in another language is necessary. For example, for Kpop rpf, of course all the characters are speaking Korean, but the fic is written in English because the author speaks English and the reader speaks English, so writing dialogue in Korean wouldn’t make sense. It can certainly work in specific fics/fandoms, but I usually prefer English written in italics when reading.  

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First fandom I posted fic for was Harry Potter and Percy Jackson in middle school.  

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

In Another Life, I reread it often and it is always a little funny how much I enjoy it. I quite like all my fics and they’re all fics that I want to read, even if it’s not entirely polished. 

#sorry for being late w this toby 😭 #hadnt had a chance to sit w my laptop till now #thank u for tagging me <3 #tag game #fic writing #vampylily.txt

[grippingbeskar]

thanks for the tag!!! i luv talking about myself HAHAH @sturkillerbase

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)?

I have like 5 fics I could post if i edited them i just havent had time fml but I would call them finished

2) How many WIPS do you have right now?

Seven fml HAHAHAH

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both?

Both! I have a lot of ideas but theres a couple of fics that have been inspired by requests, they usually take a little longer for me to write though bc i have no idea where to take them hahahah

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have?

I think I have two?? 

5) How many fandoms do you write for?

Marvel and Star wars r what I know best so 2? tons of charatcers in those worlds i feel like its enough

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for?

I was a massive one direction fan, but I wouldnt call what I posted actual writing HAHHA thank fuck its all deleted now

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other?

reader inserts mostly, maybe i should expand idk

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for?

I do have a draft for Javi from Narcos is that counts?

9) Do you read fics as well as write them?

omg of course

10) What is your favorite genre to write for?

i want them to fuck. but with proper build up HAHHAH

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)?

hurt/comfort always omfg.

12) What do you do to get motivated to write?

I have no idea, it literally will come to me at random times when im day dreaming and ill just be like holy shit write this down 

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write?

i cant think of any rn, anything i dont write is usually also things i dont read

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested?

hmmm maybe more mcu characters??? 

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction?

nothing serious before a few months ago

16) Did you read fanfiction before you started writing?

omg i literally did nothing else HAHAHA

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well?

yep just here! i might post on ao3 at some point but so far just here

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”?

i feel like my standard for myself is different, but for a drabble anything like 500-700 words, one shot would be over 1k and then fic like anything over 5k??? mine are always longer tho idk i cant shut up 

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other?

one shots i think

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why?

nope! my only series is on a lil hiatus but only bc i have no idea what to do next hahah

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr?

hmmmm i feel like the whole reblog/like ratio maybe?? i dont write anything for the likes or reblogs, but fics can reach a ton more people who might like it/give feedback if you reblog instead!!! support ur fave writers!!!

22) Do you write at a particular time of day?

usually at night/late afternoon

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc. to write or do you need silence?

i legit have tv shows on in the background. my mind can never concentrate unless i have like a thousand things happening at once hhaha

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing?

nope we wing it out here

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day?

usually i post right before i go to sleep because thats when i finish, but i dont really keep to a schedule or anything

tagging anyone who wants to do it!!!! tag me in urs i wanna read about all u beautiful ppl <3

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Seventeen

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, College! Yoongi, Sub! Yoongi

Word Count: 9.1k

A/N: Hi friends! Here is a new chapter for you. I know it’s been a super duper long time since I’ve updated this series but, I plan on wrapping up the current timeline (wink wink) within the first half of the year! Special shoutout to my amazing friend @bulletproofbirdy​ who I love so so much. Without her big genius brain, I would literally not be able to get through any of my wip. Another huge shoutout to @gldnrecs​ @kithtaehyung​ @yoonia​ and @randombtsprincessa​ for being my lil hype team. I love you! Also, thank you to everyone over at @bangtansorciere​. I am so grateful to have met so many lovely new friends this year! okiii bye. I hope you like it!

NOTE: all bolded words indicate when characters are speaking Korean

Warnings for this Chapter: ok here we go…(TRIGGER WARNING)

moderate angst, drug use (marijuana), mentions of anxiety, brief allusions to physical abuse, very brief allusions to drug addiction, alcohol 

Chapter Seventeen: Daegu and Dirty Laundry

No thoughts, head empty (and in Yoongi’s lap)

The two of you are in his living room, bags packed by the front door, awaiting the cab to take you to the airport.  

In a few short hours, you were leaving on a plane to Daegu to visit Yoongi’s older brother and, you can tell by the way he’s shuffled around all morning that he’s anxious.  

Thankfully, Hoseok and Namjoon woke up with him, knowing that emotions would be high and well- offered to get him high.

“This is a really good indica strain hyung,” Hoseok assures him as he hands over a zip-lock bag, “I rolled a joint with this last night and passed out in like 30 minutes.”

Yoongi, dressed in an all-black sweat outfit, accepts the bag into the palm of his hand, before grabbing the pipe that’s resting on the couch cushion beside him.

“Did you get it from that same guy?” Yoongi asks, his voice heavy beneath the obvious tension he’s feeling.

Despite his attempts to remain casual, you know him well enough to feel how nervous he is. He’s practically vibrating beneath you but, you know that pointing this out will only make it worse so instead, you merely rub the outside of his thigh whilst he packs his pipe. 

“Yeah, Jin’s friend-” Hoseok responds before nodding to Namjoon, “He’s honestly killing it right now. Jin told me he’s made like 5 grand already.”

Namjoon raises his brows, “Really? Damn, that’s impressive, I’ve never heard of anyone taking off that fast.”

“Jin has a lot of contacts-” Yoongi offers, adjusting the bud once more before grabbing his lighter, “it probably helped him get started. Plus, I think a lot of people around here have been looking for a good plug. Whatever he’s doing is working though, the high from last night was pretty good.”

At Yoongi’s comment, Hoseok’s lip melt into a salacious smirk as he raises his brows and jerks his chin towards you, “Are you sure it had nothing to do with that one over there?” He teases, “Yah, what are you so quiet for? You haven’t given me shit all morning...”

His comment makes you giggle but Yoongi cuts in before you’re able to respond.

“She’s tired, leave her alone.” He scolds but his lips twitch at the sound of your laughter.

Hoseok snickers as you finally decide to sit up. You can feel Yoongi’s eyes on you even as he lifts the pipe to his mouth. Tucking yourself into the side of the couch, you finally decide to add to the conversation.

“Is the guy you pick up named Yugyeom by chance?” The sleepiness in your tone is more obvious than you were expecting and, it makes Yoongi smile to himself whilst he lights his pipe.

Namjoon nods, “Yeah, it is. Do you know him?”

Yoongi’s attention is on you even as he inhales his first hit, the nerves in his body standing at attention, waiting to be soothed.  

“He was in my human sexuality class.” You remember, with a grin on your lips, “That’s actually where I met Jin too. I just had a feeling that it was him because, he literally always came to class high. Plus, him and Jin were like inseparable.”

Namjoon winces, “Of all the people to get stuck learning about sex with. I’m sorry...”

This makes you laugh, as your mind journey’s back to all the days you spent trying not to make a scene as Jin made sexual puns in the middle of a serious lecture.  

“It definitely kept things interesting...” You offer, “I’m glad to hear that Yugyeom is thriving on his own. He mentioned his dad wanted him to join the family business but, I could never picture that man in a suit.”

Hoseok chuckles before his face tightens with intrigue, “Oof that makes one of us. He would look fine as hell in a suit.”

Namjoon grins, nudging Hoseok with his foot, “You got a thing for him?”

For the first time, you see a hint of shyness overcoming Hoseok’s demeanor but he shrugs it off, trying to appear casual, “I mean- I don’t know about all that. I’m just saying that he would look good in a suit.”

“You’d both look good in suits- together...” You offer, grinning at him, “Maybe in a private venue somewhere...”

Hoseok rolls his eyes but the smile creeping onto his lips is unmistakable, “Shut up- you guys are fucking wild. All I said is that he was hot...”

Giggling, you shrug your shoulders before nodding over to Yoongi, “Yeah well that’s how it starts-” You warn, “Then the next thing you know, you’re sitting on the subway, simping over a selfie he sends you.”

Yoongi’s soft lips immediately turn up in a small smile, the shy boy in him peeking out. At first, he says nothing as he merely passes the pipe to Namjoon, who mirrors a similar expression.

Hoseok is back to his normal mischief, feeling relieved that the heat is off him for the time being.  

“Are you saying you’d marry Yoongi then?”

He expects you to be flustered by this question but, the answer is simple.  

“This man?” You raise your brows as you point to Yoongi, “You’re asking me if I would marry this man right here? Hoseok- I would wife this man up so quickly, it would give you whiplash.”

Your comment causes the three of them to laugh and, to add to the shifting vibe of the room, you feel Yoongi wrap his arm around you in an effort to pull you into his side.

“You can’t say shit like that right in front of them, they don’t need to see me soft...” He mumbles shyly in your ear before kissing your cheek, his heart singing with validation.

“Hyung, you act like we don’t already know who whipped you are for this girl.” Hoseok laughs, eagerly accepting the pipe from a coughing Namjoon.

Yoongi ignores him with his arm still around you, checking his phone with the other hand, “The cab should be here soon, do you need anything before we go?”

“Hyung, you’re gonna leave your piece here right? Cause we kinda need it-”  

Namjoon eyes him suspiciously, “What happened to your bong?”

Hoseok cringes, “I may have accidentally dropped it off the rooftop...”

Namjoon’s eyes blow wide open, “What the fuck were you doing on the rooftop to begin with?”

“I wanted to vibe! The bud was good and, I wanted to listen to the J. Cole album and get in my feelings hyung, get off my dick-” He laughs, playfully defensive.

“Hey that’s J Cole song-” You point out giggling at the double meaning, the exhaustion from earlier finding you once again.

“Exactly, I’m glad you caught that-” Hoseok winks at you before Yoongi finally responds.

“I’m not going to take my pipe through international security. Pot isn’t legal in Korea so, I wouldn’t be smoking while we were there anyway.”  

“Oh shit that’s right-” Namjoon remembers, “I really need to keep up with what’s been going on back home, I heard they were opening the discussion about it recently but, I haven’t kept up with it.”

Hoseok interjects, “What about your brother? He probably has connections.”

Yoongi shrugs, “He might but, I'm not going to worry about it.” He glances at his phone again before turning it towards you, “Our car is here, you ready to go?”

You offer him a small smile as you nod, your cheek tingling still as he places another kiss to it.

He stands up first before holding his hand out to you. Eagerly, you lace your fingers with his and, hoist yourself off the couch.

“Alright you two-” Namjoon stands too, brushing his hands over the front of his hoodie, “Try and send us updates when you can yeah?” He shoots a look towards Yoongi that is filled with an emotion that breaches casual concern.  

Yoongi understands perfectly, offering Namjoon a solemn nod in return as he pats his shoulder, “Yeah I will. I’ll text you when we land...”

Moments later, the two of you are in the back of the cab. Yoongi takes the middle seat so he can be close to you, his fingers are interlaced tightly with your own despite the fact that his hand is already sweating.  

He’s anxious.  

You can feel it and, you’re faced with two options.

Address it

Distract him  

It’s not an easy choice but, you figure this weekend will already be filled with heightened emotions so, you’re not sure if you should breach this topic so early. At the same time though, you don’t want to act like nothing’s wrong and dismiss what he’s clearly feeling.  

So, you land somewhere in the middle.  

Yoongi’s jaw is loaded with tension as you reach over and turn his face towards yours. He doesn’t register what you’re doing at first but he is in tune with your touch as always so, he doesn’t question it.    

Leaning in, you tuck your lips between his own, whilst your free hand comes up to encase the side of his face. You feel him relax beneath your kiss, a sigh leaving his nose as he kisses you back slowly.  

You pull away, pecking at his lips a few times, your thumb rubbing over his cheek.

“It’s going to be ok.” You murmur softly for the sake of his privacy, “We’re going to get through this.”

Yoongi’s eyes open just enough to show you the sheer amount of trust present in them.  

He believes everything that comes out of your mouth and, despite the anxiety that’s raging inside of him, he knows you’re right.  

Pressing his cheek against your hand, a soft smirk graces his lips as he resists the urge to pour his heart out to you for the millionth time.

“I wish it was socially acceptable for you to kiss me like that every time I feel like this...”

You giggle, pecking his lips again for good measure, “It would make our psych presentation really interesting that’s for sure.”

He chuckles, his face adorably smushed against your hand, “I keep forgetting that we have to do that. I don’t even remember the last time we worked on it...”

“Me neither.” You say at first before your eyes light up with realization, “Oh my god wait- the last time was when we watched that horrible spider movie at my apartment! Ugh no wonder I couldn’t remember, I’m pretty sure I've blocked those images from my mind as a coping mechanism.”

Yoongi’s face lights up along with you, “Oh shit, that’s right-” He laughs, “Did we even finish our lists?”

The two of you share another round of laughter, caught up in the ridiculous realization that you had lowkey abandoned your final project.  

You lean over to pull your phone out of your purse, “Here let me check-” Scrolling through your notes app, you find the project tab before allowing your eyes to wander over it, “It looks like I still have deep water and you technically still have night clubs and horror movies. But I mean- you did perform in a night club recently so I feel like that should count.”  

He nods thoughtfully before his face lights up with realization once more, “Oh yeah, I already wrote about that in the research journal, I forget to tell you. That was definitely more of a direct confrontation than I was planning.” He chuckles, “We did sit on the beach and read terrifying facts about the depth of the ocean for mine, would that be enough for you to write about?”  

The two of you have maneuvered so that you’re tucked into Yoongi’s side again, his arm draping comfortably around your shoulders.

“You still have horror movies left though so, I feel like I should maybe confront one more directly too. Besides, I have a feeling that I’ll be able to distract myself in the water if you’re there-” You mumble suggestively, which causes him to smirk as he leans his head back against the seat.

“Oh yeah?” He jerks his head towards you “How so?”

Resting your face on his chest, you smile to yourself and think of a response that’s appropriate for a perfect stranger aka your cab driver, to hear.

“Cause if something touches my feet in the water, I could simply latch myself to your back for safety purposes.” You explain matter of factly.

“If something touched your foot while we were in the water, I’d swim away so fucking fast- I don’t think you’d have time to latch on.” He explains through his laughter

Scoffing, you smack your hand against his chest as you sit up fully, wiggling out of his grip, “So you’d just leave me to die???” You accuse, “Also, last time I checked- you weren’t an Olympic swimmer, what makes you think you’d just zoom out of there???”

Yoongi’s cackling at this point, his hand on his stomach, his previously tense features now smoothed out beneath his amusement, “I’m not saying I would leave you necessarily-”

“Necessarily!” You point out, laughter erupting from your lips as you pinch his side, “After everything we’ve been through, you’re really just gonna let a sea monster eat me!?”

His eyes widen, as his laughter increases, “A sea monster?! Who said anything about a sea monster? Where did they come in????”

“I said something touched my foot???? Obviously that means there is a sea monster, lurking in the depths, trying to eat me and you-” You poke his sternum, “You just said you would leave me to die!”

Yoongi’s face is reddened with the force of his own laughter, his hand subconsciously coming up to cover your own. With his eyes tearing up and his mouth parted to make way for his giggling, you can’t help but admire how beautiful he is.  

Especially when he’s laughing...

He wipes his eyes with his free hand, still chuckling lightly to himself even as he brings your hand to his mouth, “Alright, alright- let's be clear- I would never leave you to die.” He promises, still smirking as he kisses the back of your hand, “Realistically, I’d probably panic and jump on YOUR back.”

With narrowed eyes, you wiggle the fingers he has pressed to his lips, “Well I don’t know how that would work out because, I’d probably you know- swim away so fucking fast that I don’t know if you’d have time to latch on...”

Yoongi snickers as you imitate his voice but, rather than retaliate he simply tugs you by the hand his currently holding and, kisses you.  

It’s soft and sweet- lasting only for a few seconds until he’s pulling away.

“Thank you for coming with me.” He says suddenly, the volume of his voice decreasing significantly.

And as usual, you know that he wants to say way more than he does. But you’re perfectly fine with that.

Yoongi’s subtly is a specific brand and, you’ve grown to love how the little things he does allows him to pack so much emotion into a simple phrase.  

You feel lucky to love such a special person.  

“Of course.” You return his simplicity, pecking his lips once more before settling back in your original position.  

The airport was a blur.  

You’re thankful it passes quickly because, the process of getting through security makes you anxious.  

Yoongi ushers you into your seat before taking both of your bags and, storing them in the overhead compartment. You can’t help but smile as he turns to help an older woman with her luggage as well.

He smiles ( :] ) at her, bowing his head slightly as she thanks him. Yoongi offers her a tiny wave and takes his seat beside you, not noticing the way you smile fondly at him.  

When he takes his seat beside you, the two of you settle into a comfortable silence. Once the flight crew permits it, Yoongi takes his laptop out and begins toying around with one of his songs. You pull your headphones out as well and find one of your favorite playlists. Leaning back against the seat, your eyes eventually begin to droop until you can no longer keep them open.  

The next thing you know, you’re being woken up by someone gently patting your thigh.  

“Sleepy girl...” Yoongi croons in Korean, the sound of his voice alone making you smile, “We’re landing soon.”

Slightly disoriented, you blink your eyes a few times before you’re finally able to focus on your boyfriend’s face.  

You slump against him, rubbing your cheek against the material of his hoodie. He chuckles softly, his arm sliding out from underneath you in order to drape across your shoulders.  

“I’m sorry I fell asleep.” You mumble

He chuckles again, nodding with a false sense of consideration, “Ah yes, you missed so much. Two hours ago, the flight attendant came by and asked if we wanted anything to drink. It was a wild ride...”

Giggling sleepily, you shake your head at his sarcasm before pointing at his laptop.  

“Were you working on your composition project?”

He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head, a bashful expression on his face “No, it was just a song I’ve been working on for a while now.”  

He leaves it at that and, due to the signal from the flight crew, Yoongi begins putting his stuff away as the rest of the cabin prepares for landing.  

“Are we taking the train?” You mumble, still fighting off the remnants of your nap.

Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes narrowed in concentration whilst he scrolls through his phone.

“No, I have a cab waiting for us.” He responds, “It says it’s already here. So, when you get out of customs, just meet me right outside. It should just be a straight shot from immigration.”

You nod and rest your head back against his shoulder, “Okay.”

He puts his phone away, allowing his hand to find yours. Intertwining your fingers, he takes a deep breath- his mind clearly elsewhere. You squeeze his hand to acknowledge this but, the two of you don’t comment on it.  

There is no need.  

With the tightening of your grip, so much has already been said.  

Less than a half hour later, the two of you are once again seated in the back of the cab.  

“It’s probably going to rain a lot while we’re here.” Yoongi explains, his voice low and slow, “This is Daegu’s rainy season. I’ve been checking the weather periodically and it looks like there might be a storm coming but, it doesn’t look too severe.”

You look at the window after his comment, noticing that the sky is overflowing with heavy clouds, swollen and gray with the promise of rain.  

“We’re approaching monsoon season, we call it uh- jangma.” He tells you and his explanation makes you smile.  

Despite the circumstances, you’re very honored and excited to be in Yoongi’s hometown. You know the memories he associates with this place are complex but, there is a shift in his tone now and, he sounds eager to teach you about this place: the place he called home for so long.  

And you’d gladly listen for hours.

“Jangma-” You repeat, trying to get the pronunciation right, causing him to refocus his attention back on you. He smiles softly and nods,

“Good job.”  

Your heart skips a beat at his approval as you return his smile, “Is there gonna be thunder?”  

Yoongi chuckles, “Do you want there to be thunder?”

You nod eagerly, “I love storms. When I was little, I would just sit at the window and watch them go by. I’m pretty sure our neighbors thought I was crazy. But I don’t know- I've always had a thing for bad weather...”

He smirks, glancing out the window and then back at you, “That explains a lot.”

Giggling, you cock your head, “What do you mean?”

Yoongi gestures to himself, his now playful gaze looking at you expectantly. You laugh at his insinuation,

“I see the resemblance.” You concede, gently patting his cheek, “You’re not nearly as gloomy as you think you are though.”

“To you-” He retorts, “You always forget that...”

“Pleaaaase.” You disagree, “You’re soft for other people too, don’t lie. I’ve seen the way you deal with Namjoon and Hobi...”

He shakes his head, “Yeah but things are still different with you, I don’t think you realize that.”

You nudge yourself underneath his arm once more, cuddling up with him as best as you can in the back of a cab.

“I know you’re especially-” You emphasize the word, “soft for me. I’m just saying that you come across more approachable than you think you do.”

Yoongi smirks to himself, seemingly understanding something that you don’t.  

“Soft is an understatement.” He retorts, turning to kiss the top of your head.

“Whateverrrr.” You tease him, your eyes trailing down to focus on his hands, “I’m still right.”

He chuckles, his figure shaking lightly beneath you, “You usually are.”

The cab pulls off of the highway, and it’s then that you begin to notice the way the scenery around you shifts from a middle class/ metropolitan vibe to something much much...fancier.  

Through the winding streets, the cab begins taking the two of you up a pretty steep hill before turning onto a street full of ridiculously nice houses.  

White marble, giant glass windows, and driveways filled to the brim with luxury vehicles zip by as the car turns down another street. Similar in theme but greater in size, the new street had much larger houses on more sizeable plots of land- likely designed to give the owners privacy amongst their neighbors.  

You can feel Yoongi’s eyes on you then and, you know very well that he’s observing your reaction.

He knows that even though he told you his brother was wealthy that, that phrase alone wouldn’t be enough to properly convey what that entailed.  

“This neighborhood is really beautiful,” You observe softly, eyes still glued to the window, “The architecture is so different than anything I’ve ever seen.”

And of course, this makes Yoongi smile.  

Because of course, you aren’t making a fuss about the degree of luxury before you. You’re finding the beauty in what otherwise is a very stressful situation.  

Finally, the cab pulls into a driveway right behind a black Tesla before putting the car in park.  

He and Yoongi exchange a few words in Korean as Yoongi hands him a small wad of money.  

“Thank you.” You murmur to the cab driver with a slight bow of your head to which he responds with a tight smile and a similar bow.  

You and Yoongi unload your bags from the trunk and as he is reaching for your hand, the front door of the house swings open.  

A man a few inches taller than Yoongi steps out. His black hair is neatly arranged in a middle part and he’s dressed in a beige turtleneck and white slacks. As he comes closer, the resemblance between the two of them is staggering.  

“Hello!” He calls with a warm smile, his voice bright, “Welcome! Come on in, the rain is supposed to pick back up soon.”

His expression only glows as he spots his younger brother. He looks excited to see him but, his movements are apprehensive.  

The unspoken tension is already present and, you can feel Yoongi almost freeze up as he draws near. Subtly, you coax him along offering his brother a warm smile as the two of you approach the landing just in front of his door.  

Normally, you don’t get nervous when meeting new people but, this situation is laced with so much complexity- you aren’t sure how to act.

Thankfully Yoongi finally speaks, “Good to see you hyung. Thank you for having us on such short notice.” His tone is almost unrecognizable as he gestures to you, “This is my girlfriend Y/N. Y/N-” He gestures back to his brother, “This is my older brother Geum-jae hyung.”

Bowing your head slightly, you smile once more, “It’s very nice to meet you, thank you for having me.”

Geum-jae nods, eyeing you softly as his lips press into a tight line, “It’s so nice to meet you Y/N. I promise you, the pleasure is all mine.”

Yoongi motions for you to step in front of him so, you follow his lead and trail behind his brother through the doorway.  

Geum-jae's home resembles a marble statue. It’s clean, beautiful and, elegant- but lifeless. Geum-jae has artwork of various styles all over his walls, crisp white couches, sleek granite countertops and, stainless-steel appliances however, there is not one bit of evidence that anyone even lives here. The house feels empty despite the amount of effort put into its appearance.  

It makes you sad.  

“You have a beautiful home.”  

Your voice echoes off the dead weight of the walls, the paintings themselves seeming to arch a brow at your comment. Geum-jae however, smiles and nods graciously,

“Thank you. I just moved in not too long ago so, there is a lot I want to do. I definitely could have used this one’s expertise-” He nods to Yoongi, “He was always really good at that kind of stuff...”

Your boyfriend smirks, his eyes taking in his surroundings but failing to really focus on anything; he was too wound up, “You could have. I would have charged you though...”

Geum-jae chuckles and you see him glance at Yoongi fondly for a split second before he quickly reverts to his casual demeanor.  

“I put you guys on the second floor facing the skyline-” He gestures to the ivory staircase, “I’m sure you want some time to freshen up and relax so, please take all the time you need. I’m having BBQ brought over tonight but, if you’re hungry- feel free to help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen.”

Yoongi allows you to step in front of him whilst taking the suitcase from your hands. The two men follow behind you as Geum-jae continues laying out the plans for the evening,  

“I have a few virtual meetings to attend that I wasn’t able to move around but, I will be free as of 7 this evening. Until then, please make yourselves at home. I am really-” He seems to take a deep breath for emphasis, “really happy to have you here.”

“Thank you hyung.” Yoongi smiles slightly once the three of you reach the outside of the guest room, “Good luck with your meetings. Let me know if you need help with dinner.”

Geum-jae responds with a tight nod, “Will do. I’ll be in my office so, feel free to explore.” As he pushes open the door for you, he allows his own pained expression to meet yours, “I’m honored to meet you Y/N. Thank you for coming all this way with my brother.”

“Well-” You squeeze Yoongi’s hand gently, “He’s lucky I like him so much...”

Cheeks flushed, Yoongi rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but his lips are practically puckered against the smile he’s trying to stifle.  

“That’s fair.” Geum-jae chuckles, “Let me know if you two need anything. I’ll just be downstairs...”

With that, Yoongi pushes open the door and allows you to step inside before following behind you.

“Wow.” You whisper to yourself as you take in the scene before you.

The walls are painted a soft gray and surrounding only three sides of the bedroom. The fourth wall is made entirely of glass and given that the house rests upon a hill, you’re able to make out the skyline of the inner city. A giant four poster bed sits in the middle of the room, covered completely in a white duvet and three rows of pillows. Dark gray curtains sit on either side of the massive window as various muted colors accent the room in the form of a dresser, two nightstands and, a set of couches at the end of the bed.  

Yoongi is silent behind you as he sets the bags down at the entrance of the room. He pushes the door shut and allows his eyes to move over the space for a moment.  

It's nice, he thinks, but he can’t find himself to be very impressed.  

He knows where this money comes from and, even though his brother is out of the crime sector now, it still feels strange to acknowledge his wealth.  

Noticing his silence, you turn towards him, eyes tracing over the features of his face to assess his mood.

With a slight and subconscious pout, he looks at you, his body seemingly full of a breath he wants to take.  

“Do you want to lay down for a bit? I know you didn’t sleep on the plane.”  

At your offer, he seems to deflate slightly, lips turning up at the corners, “I think I want to shower first...”

Immediately, you nod with an encouraging smile, “Yeah go shower babe, I’ll just-”

He interrupts you, sticking his hand out and flexing his fingers in a grabbing motion, “Come with me.”

His offer makes you giggle, “You want me to shower with you?”

Yoongi closes the distance between you, using his grabby hands to lock onto your hips, “No, I meant like come with me as in come watch me...yes I want you to shower with me.”

Your laughter heightens as you pinch his side, causing him to recoil before chuckling.

“You’re such a punk today...” You scold.

Yoongi simply chuckles warmly as he kisses the side of your head, the tone of his voice lowering significantly, “That usually means something to you doesn’t it?”

It does.  

It usually means he’s having trouble vocalizing his needs and, he’s in need of attention. And the type of attention is usually a specific brand.  

And it usually comes with a little bit of pain.  

However, you don’t think it’s a good idea to indulge that side of Yoongi’s desires at the moment because, his emotions aren’t fully organized. You know the talk with his brother is causing him a lot of stress and, as much as you liked to wreck his body right now- you know it’s best to wait until later.  

That doesn’t mean you can’t take care of him though...

“Come on-” You urge him, grabbing his hand and practically running towards the bathroom, “Let's get you clean, king.”

He laughs, stumbling into the bathroom which is just as nice and similarly colored as the room.

“I’m a king now?”

His question goes over your head as you notice the ridiculously oversized bathtub in the center of the room. Biting your lip, you turn towards him and point at it.

“Do you want to take a bath instead? The shower looks amazing and all but- this thing literally looks like a jacuzzi.”

Yoongi eyes it curiously, his teeth finding his bottom lip, looking a little apprehensive, “How would you want to sit in it though? I kinda uh- I kinda thought maybe we could stand under the water for a bit together, like last time...”

He wants you to hold him.

He’s not going to say it but, he needs it.  

Like really bad.

You can see his nerves creeping into his posture so, you decide to act quickly before he somehow convinces himself that he’s being too needy.  

Looking around the room, you spot a few things that could aid in his relaxation: candles, bubble bath, a neatly folded pile of fluffy gray towels...

“I’ll show you.” You assure him, “Close your eyes really quick- no peeking. I have a plan...”

Yoongi looks at you, suspicious all over his face, “I’m scared.”

Giggling, you raise your brows for emphasize, “Oh you should be-”

He can’t help but smirk at your tone despite the anticipation swimming in his gut. He trusts you though so, instead of arguing- he shuts his eyes.  

Shuffling around the bathroom, you set things up in record time, turning the water on, pouring the rose scented bubble bath beneath the stream, and lighting a few candles along the ivory counter. Yoongi maintains his smirk the entire time, folding his arms across his chest, stifling his desire to make a snarky comment.  

“Alright,” You sigh, dusting your hands off, “Ta daaaaa.”

Yoongi opens his eyes, blinking a few times before taking in the scene in front of him. It changes his smirk into a grin really quickly as his cat-like eyes flit over to you.

“Are you planning on sacrificing me?” He quips, nodding to the candles.

Snorting, you roll your eyes, “If you keep talking shit, I just might-” You threaten, laughter forming on the tail end of your sentence, “Get naked...”

Yoongi snickers, his face full of satisfaction as his finger tuck beneath his hoodie to tug it over his head. The two of you undress in a small bout of silence and attempt to sneak glances at one another’s naked form.  

“I’m going to get in first and then you’re going to sit in front of me, between my legs...” You explain, trying not to shiver as the cool air of the bathroom begins to grow uncomfortable.

His brows raise, “Between your legs?” He confirms, “Say no more...”

Once again, your eyes are rolling but this time, there is a smile on your lips as you move to take your spot beneath the warmth of the water. Yoongi has to take a deep breath as he watches you, his emotions brewing dangerously beneath the surface at the sight of the woman he loves.  

He still doesn’t fully understand it.  

He is still meet with endless confusion when he starts to think about why you’ve chosen to be with him but, he knows better now than to question it.  

You have your reasons, he thinks, and he has a million of his own.  

Looking up from beneath the mountain of bubbles, you pat the top of them, looking at him expectantly, “Come here.”

He grabs the hand that you extend towards him, balancing himself on it whilst he steps into the tub. Modestly, he turns his body away from you for a second so he’s able to bend down before pivoting beneath the water and settling against your chest. The bathtub is big enough for the water to go past his shoulders and, he feels his entire body relax once he feels your body against his.  

“Comfy?” You check, draping your arms across his chest.  

Yoongi nods, his head leaning back and resting against your left shoulder. Once it lands there, you turn and kiss his temple which then prompts one of his hands to reach up rest on yours. Silently, you place a few more kisses against his hairline, allowing him to decompress however he wants to, not wanting to pressure him into talking about anything.  

And he doesn’t, at least not for a while.  

The only sounds between the two of you are the dribbling of water from the faucet and the low whisper of breathing. Every so often, you kiss his temple, just so he knows that he isn’t alone.

“Seeing my brother is really difficult.” He mumbles, eyes still closed, hand still on top of yours, “Even just seeing his face- it brings back a lot of memories.”

You nod, “I can imagine- especially since it’s been so long.”

Yoongi sighs, his eyes fluttering open and honing in on the ceiling, “I haven’t seen him since I was 18. He came to Sejin’s place just before I moved in with Namjoon. He tried to talk to me to let me know that he was leaving the business but, I barely said anything. I was too angry at him.”

Using your free hand, you rub softly at his chest under the water, silently encouraging him to continue.  

“He never helped me when my father would-” He takes a deep breath through his nose, his throat bobbing as he swallows on the exhale, “the time I told you about, when my father hit me...that wasn’t the only time. It happened often towards the end.”

Your eyes shut momentarily, the pain of Yoongi being harmed stinging your heart like a shot.  

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper, kissing his temple again.

Yoongi’s face turns slightly into your lips, his hand squeezing over yours, “Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I held onto my disappointment in him for a while until I realized something: the only reason my father every laid his hands on me and not Geum-jae hyung was because, I stood up to him.”

“Geum-jae hyung never did and, I think he still carries that regret to this day. I can see it all over his face...” His voice is so low now that it barely makes it above a whisper, his eyes seemingly elsewhere. “Is it wrong that I feel like- like I didn’t just come here to save Sejin’s studio?”

You shake your head, “Not at all...”

He swallows again and takes another deep breath through his nose, “It’s hard you know- during winter break especially; everyone would leave campus and go home for the holidays...and I never knew where to go. For the first two years at school, I spent Christmas alone until Namjoon’s mom finally called me and told me that if I didn’t come back with him, that she was going to make him sleep outside.” He chuckles, smirking slightly at the memory.

Your heart fills with despair then. You didn’t piece it together that Yoongi would have stayed behind during the holiday season. There was so much to unpack from the tragedy that he’s endured; it didn’t even cross your mind.  

“Namjoon’s mom was right to threaten you-” You affirm but then you shake your head, “I don’t think there could be a wrong reason to come here. You deserve to have whatever kind of closure or healing that you need.”  

“I wish I knew what I needed...” He admits, licking his lips before turning towards you, his brown eyes holding all the emotions he can’t vocalize, “I wish everything was as easy as this.”

Following suit, you turn your head so that you’re facing him, “So do I. But I’ll always be here through all the not-so-easy stuff.”

Yoongi smiles then, soft and sweet, delivering a kiss to match. He relaxes into you, brushing his tongue along the inside of your lip just for a moment before pulling away.

“I love you Y/N.”  

“I love you too Yoongi.”  

Eventually, you both got out of the bathtub and into the shower so, that you were able to get clean properly. After a few hours of catching up on missed calls/texts and relaxing, Yoongi gets a text from his brother saying that dinner would be ready in 15 minutes.  

Geum-jae had the finest BBQ in the city delivered and prepared right in his dining room. Banchan lined the center of the table, slabs of meat were grilled one right after the other until the three of you tapped out.  

It passed easier than you thought it would. Yoongi and Geum-jae relaxed in the face of a meal, the conversation flowing effortlessly between them as if no time had passed. It was a touching sight to see and, you hoped that it meant their discussion would come out easier.  

You take your leave after you help clean up, thanking Geum-jae for the incredible food and, letting Yoongi know that you’d be up in the room checking on something for school if he needed anything.  

Which was a total lie but, you needed an excuse to leave them alone for a bit.  

Yoongi feels his heartbeat pick up a bit as he watches you leave the room, the realization of what was coming finally hitting him.  

“Hyung-” He wants to rip the band aid off. “Is it alright if we talk for a moment?”

Geum-jae raises his brows at the switch in languages and nods immediately, gesturing to the table, “Of course. Can we sit here? Or would you rather talk in the living room?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “Here is fine.” He sits back down in his original seat and, rubs his palms against his jeans.

Geum-jae takes a seat across from him, gazing expectantly at his younger brother, “What did you want to talk about?”

Despite Yoongi’s anxiety, he understands that being to the point would be the most effective way to communicate. He wasn’t sure if any past issues would come up but, right now his concern was on Sejin.  

“I know that I told you I needed your help with something but-” Yoongi begins, “It isn’t me who needs your help exactly...it’s Sejin.”

Geum-jae purses his lips, his hands coming out to clasp rest on the table, “Is he alright?”

“The landlord for the studio he runs is increasing his rent again and, he doesn’t have the money to keep it open...” Yoongi’s explanation gets a little rushed as he gets more and more nervous, “I have some money in savings to help out with rent for the next few months but, it’s not enough to keep it open long term and-”

Geum-jae cuts him off, “Tell Sejin to call me. I will send a team to his location to sort everything out. It wouldn’t be a bad building to purchase but if Sejin is willing- then maybe he can look at other properties and I’ll have the money wired over to him.”

Yoongi can’t hide the shock on his face, “Wait- are you serious?”

“Of course. Sejin is one of my dearest friends. I owe him a lot for what he’s done over the years.”

In this moment, regret washes over Geum-jae's face, his eyes reaching out to Yoongi’s in hopes that he understands what he’s alluding to.  

And obviously, he does.  

“Why didn’t you just call me?” Geum-jae continues, tilting his head to get a better look at Yoongi’s expression, trying to read him, “I’ve always told you that if you ever needed anything-”

“I haven’t talked to you in 8 years hyung, I wasn’t just going to call and ask you for a favor.”  

Geum-jae nods, his face tightening with solemnity, “I understand.” A brief moment of silence passes between the two of them before a sigh comes from Geum-jae, “There is so much I want to say to you Yoongi, I don’t even know where to begin...”

Yoongi stays quiet.  

He doesn’t know either.  

He just knows that the only way to get rid of the heaviness in his chest is to talk about it.  

“I suppose I could start with an apology.” Geum-jae concludes, shaking his head as a light scoff leaves his lips, “I could never find the words to express how much regret and shame I feel inside. I could never explain how sorry I am for not protecting you, for not being a better example, for not having a backbone, for being selfish...I was blinded by greed. I couldn’t see what was in front of me.”

Yoongi swallows back his emotion, dreading the way his eyes begin to sting.  

Geum-jae continues, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I just want to apologize and tell you that, even though I played no part in the man you’ve become, I am incredibly honored to call you my brother.”

It isn’t easy but, Yoongi manages to contain the tears that desperately want to fall from his eyes. His chest tightens as he hears his brother’s words. He wades through all the bitterness he feels towards him, allowing himself to feel the full force of his approval.  

“I forgave you a long time ago.” Yoongi swallows, avoiding direct eye contact with him, “I just wish I understood your actions. You were my hyung, I thought you would have protected me and-” Yoongi blinks away the tears as quickly as he can, “and I still haven’t been able to accept the fact that you didn’t...”

Geum-jae shakes his head, “I wanted to protect you. I just didn’t know how- I was scared of him too. You had more courage than I did. It doesn’t excuse my actions but, it’s the truth.”

Suddenly, he reaches out and places his hand overtop of Yoongi’s, a pleading expression on his face, “That’s why you got out. That’s why you have a life. You have friends, you’re about to graduate university and, you have Y/N...” Geum-jae's voice breaks at the end, “Because of your strength, you finally found happiness.”

Yoongi looks at his hand, observing the evidence of his life present on his skin. Scars, burns, callouses, needle marks...

“Are you saying that you haven’t?” He asks, still not meeting his brother’s eyes.

“I’m not even close.”

Finally, the two meet each other's gaze. For a moment, they just stare, glistening eyes to glistening eyes. Overcome with years of repressed emotions, fueled by the desperate need to try and break the cycle, they wordlessly convey an unspoken emptiness.  

They have missed each other so much.  

“I am here now.” Geum-jae promises, the first tear dangerously close to falling, “Hyung is here if you’ll have him. I want to be in your life but, I understand if you want nothing to do with me.”

Yoongi blinks now, and the tears land upon his cheeks, “You’re my hyung...” And it really is a desperate proclamation, “...you’ll always be my hyung...”

The chair screeches against the tile, causing Yoongi to jump in his seat until he realizes what his brother is doing. Rounding the table, stands to the side of Yoongi with open arms and his own tears atop his cheeks.

He eyes him for only a few seconds before standing up suddenly and accepting Geum-jae into his arms. The two of them seem to collapse against one another. Yoongi breaks down and sobs in the arms of his older brother.  

Just as he would have when they were young.

When times were hard and he could take shelter behind the one person who made him feel safe, the first person who ever showed him love.  

“I’m so sorry Yoongi-ah.”  

His words cause Yoongi to squeeze his eyes shut as he nods against the expensive fabric of his brother’s dress shirt, “I know.” He sniffles and pats his back, “I know you are.”

Meanwhile...

You’ve been upstairs, straightening up the bedroom and trying to pass the time without worrying excessively about your boyfriend’s well-being.  

Which turns out to be impossible...

Cleaning around the room/bathroom only takes you about 20 minutes before your flopping onto the massive bed and, pulling out your phone. Scrolling through Tik Tok, you hope for a substantial distraction and, lucky for you- one arrives.  

But, it isn’t on Tik Tok...

Jungkook: So you know Jimin right...  

The text from Jungkook confuses you as you’re pretty sure it's like the middle of the night back home and, it’s not like him to text you outside of the group chat.

You: I have heard of him yes

You: Isn’t he like your boyfriend or something?

Jungkook: ha ha

Jungkook: about that

Jungkook: what if he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore?

Your eyes widen and, you immediately sit up in bed and hover anxiously over your phone.

You: !!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Jungkook: shhhhhh don’t yell

Jungkook: my future fiance is sleeping...

You’re about ready to get on a flight back home to kick his ass before your vision focuses on the word he’s just sent.

You: excuse me  

You: YOU’RE WHAT ???????????

Jungkook: …

Jungkook: What did I just tell you smh

You: *whispers* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JUNGKOOK

Jungkook: -____-

Jungkook: can I call  

You: ?????? Obviously!!!!

Seconds later, Jungkook’s name illuminates your screen.

“Good evening,” He begins calmly, “I’m having a panic attack...”

You giggle, “What’s going on????”

“Well you see- I am in love with Park Jimin and I fear it may be terminal.”

“Terminal huh? Is that how you describe a lifelong partnership with your one true love?”

“...yes.”

“Jungkook,” You urge him through your laughter, “What is going on?”

You hear him sigh, “I think I’m going to ask Jimin to marry me.”

Squealing, you jump up on your knees, “Wait seriously?! Jungkook!”

“Yah! Don’t yell at me! This is all your fault!”  

“My fault??? How is this my fault?”

“Well technically I guess- it's Yoongi’s fault because, he’s the one that convinced me to get in touch with my feelings or whatever- either way, I am STILL the victim. And now I want to be with him forever and it’s disgusting...”

You flop back against the pillows and laugh again, “If Jimin knew this was how you were telling people you were proposing, he would kill you.”

He doesn’t hesitate, “He’s going to kill me either way Y/N...it’s bad- the other day, he sent me a selfie and, I had heart palpitations for like 15 minutes.”

“If your man doesn’t give you heart palpitations then, that isn’t your man.” You conclude.

“Y/N...” Jungkook whines now, sounding very much like the boy you met back in middle school.

“Jungkook...” You whine back causing him to finally chuckle on the other end of the line.

“I’m scared...”

“I know but, you and Jimin are so perfect for each other, there is no way that this wouldn’t work out.”

“More perfect than you and Yoongi?” He teases, reverting back to being a little shit.

And his question makes you scoff, “Oh sweetheart- obviously not. But second place isn’t bad!”

He laughs now and it’s the full bellied sound that you love hearing.  

“You really think we’re perfect together?”

Despite his inability to see you, you smile at his need for validation,

“Duh. You two are literally soulmates.”

Jungkook is quiet on the other line but when he speaks again, you can hear the giddiness in his voice, “Ok so...will you help me then???”

Back downstairs, Yoongi and Geum-jae are sat at the bar in front of the window that faces his backyard. As he predicted, the rain came back in full force and is now propelling itself against the clean glass. After their emotional encounter in the dining room, Geum-jae suggested that they have a drink together and relax for a moment.  

He had poured each of them a glass of wine, ensuring not to fill his glass up too much.  

“Your girlfriend is a wonderful woman; you made a good choice.”

At the mention of you, Yoongi’s lips twitch, his eyes watching the droplets of water chaotically race down the window, “Thank you. But, it was her who chose me, I’m still working out exactly why.”  

Geum-jae chuckles, “I see you’re still selling yourself short ah? Did you two meet at school?”

Yoongi smirks, “Yeah, we met 6 months ago in my psychology class. She was my partner on our final project.”

“Ah.” He nods, “Things blossomed that way then?”

Yoongi’s heart throbs a bit as his brain begins its recollection of his time with you.  

So much has happened during your relationship, he forgets that he hasn’t known you all his life.

It certainly feels like he has.  

“Yeah.”

Geum-jae chuckles, “You’re so reserved about her.”

Yoongi knows what he means. In the Min family, you always say things as they are. You don’t sugarcoat your sentiments and you definitely don’t play coy.  

“I can’t help it-” He admits, and he can feel the heat on his cheeks now, “I find it difficult to talk about her...”

His brother bites his bottom lip, unable to help how endeared he is, “Can I ask why?”

Yoongi leans his cheek against the palm of his hand, still focusing on the rain, “It’s overwhelming.”

Geum-jae seems to understand but he chuckles anyway, “Do you plan on marrying her?”

His question hangs in the air for a moment. Yoongi’s brain once again travels elsewhere, and he is bombarded with images of you walking down the aisle. He has to take a deep breath as he forces the thoughts out of his head; he’s cried enough this evening.

“I would marry her tomorrow.”  

Geum-jae's laughter increases now but now it bubbles over his lips in an excited fashion.

“Yahhhh! Look at that eh?” He congratulates him, “It’s safe to say you’re off the market for good then? Because I have a few of my friends who have been asking about you.”

This finally makes Yoongi laugh as he turns towards him, “That’s flattering.” He means it too but, he speaks the next set of words with all of the conviction he can muster, “There is no one else for me though.”  

Geum-jae grins proudly and with a raise to his brows, he lifts his glass, “Well, let’s drink to that then.”

The clinking of crystal signifies so much. For now though, Yoongi allows it to represent the future and, all of the possibilities it may bring.  

#ficswithluv #yoongi #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi fics #yoongi fanfics #yoongi fic recs #yoongi fanfiction #bts yoongi #min yoongi #suga #min suga #agust d #agust d fics #yoongi x reader #boyfriend! yoongi #yoongi cute #yoongi hot