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#like literally imagine all the desis being in one school
sofreddiea month ago
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Friday Feature: October 15, 2021
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Welcome to the Friday Feature, where every Friday I feature a different Fanfic Writer鈥檚 blog. This week鈥檚 Feature Blog is:
Link to Masterlist
About the Author:
Hi! I'm Vee, 20 (she/her) and a med student! I'm comparatively new to the spn fandom (started watching last August).I write reader insert fics for SPN, Marvel, Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter. My current hyperfixations are Bucky and Dean haha
Other info: I have @buckybingo!
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Author鈥檚 Fave Personal Fics:
Innuendos
Summary: You can鈥檛 help but spout sexual innuendos at random times, the third time you do it accidentally, it riles Dean up to the breaking point
Why the author likes this fic:
It's exactly how I act around my friends I'm closest with (tho the end has never happened for me, so rude) so it's kinda personal but I love it so much!
Souls Intertwined by Fate
Summary: As soulmates, you can feel the exact intensity of pain as your other half when they get hurt. So what happens when your soulmate literally goes to hell?
Why the author likes this fic:
I've always believed in soulmates and this was the first story I've written about it! Tho it's going through a rewrite, it's really angsty and I feel like I've gotten the emotions of Dean in the year before he went to hell
Dean Winchester x Deaf!Reader
Summary: Imagine being Deaf and wanting to feel Dean鈥檚 throat as he speaks but he takes it the wrong way
Why the author likes this fic:
It's a completely different unique I鈥檝e written about, and I'm really proud of it!
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Author鈥檚 Fic Recommendations:
A Lot Like Us - @percywinchester27
Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she鈥檇 left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School鈥檚 youngest, most promising professor.
Why the author likes this fic:
Ana's writing is just so raw and every chapter made me either smile like an idiot or want to cry my heart out. It's definitely a must read!
Lost In Translation - @msmarvelouswinchester (Part 1 linked)
Summary: Jensen comes to India and falls in love with a fan who accidentally sees him while he's lost and saves him cause she knows Hindi.
Why the author likes this fic:
It was the first fic I read that was written by Chan and I'm still in love with her writing! But this fic will always remain my favorite because it's an Indian!Reader X Jensen (also the first desi fic I read) and it's just perfect!
The Real Deal - @firefly-in-darkness
Summary: Your friend sends you a link to a pornstar that looks a lot like Dean...
Why the author likes this fic:
It's funny, it's hot, and I definitely want to be in that situation 馃槒
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Thank you for checking out this week鈥檚 Friday Feature. Be sure to check out their blog, follow, send asks, go crazy! Check out all the fics linked and be sure to REBLOG and COMMENT!
Authors love to know what you think about their work - not just praise, but constructive criticism as well.
Constructive criticism is a helpful way of giving feedback that provides specific, actionable suggestions. Rather than providing general advice, constructive criticism gives specific recommendations on how to make positive improvements. Constructive criticism is clear, to the point and easy to put into action.
Shout out to @talesmaniac89 for the beautiful dividers she created and offered up for us for free! Check out her other resources here.
Would you like your blog to be showcased in a Friday Feature?
Maybe you have a fic you鈥檝e written that you鈥檇 like to be included in the weekly Fic Recommendations?
Something you鈥檝e read and loved?
Tag me! Send an ask! Drop a DM!
And as always, Happy Fanfic-ing!
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Want even MORE? Check out the Friday Feature Masterlist!
Forevers:
@sis-tafics
@lyarr24
@calaofnoldor
@hobby27
@spnbaby-67
@fangirlxwritesx67
@jarpad24
@flamencodiva
@donnaintx
@wonder-cole
@waynes-multiverse
FRIDAY FEATURE:
@deanwanddamons
@itmighthavebeenintentional
@there-must-be-a-lock
13 notesView notes
Not gonna lie, I鈥檓 surprised at the amount of attention this has gotten so far. I wasn鈥檛 expecting to get twenty notes on each of my posts in less than a day, not with how new the blog is, but I appreciate all the likes and reblogs! :D
God, I really can鈥檛 wait to get to the Dad Might, I need that serotonin boost, but that鈥檚 not until later chapters鈥 ;-;
Another thing I just noticed while looking back: the school uniform Aldera has doesn鈥檛 have ties.
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And of the kids in 1a, only Izuku struggles with tying a tie properly, while Katsuki doesn鈥檛 wear one at all. While both of them also have other, perfectly valid reasons to struggle with wearing/tying ties, I also find it kind of funny to imagine that both of them just. Cannot figure out ties for the life of them, but like hell Katsuki鈥檚 ever going to admit he doesn鈥檛 know how to do something so 鈥榮imple鈥, so he just refuses to wear them.聽
(Not saying that鈥檚 canon, just that it makes me smile to think about.)
Right, where did we leave off? The flashback? Let鈥檚 get into it!
[No. 1 - Midoriya Izuku: Origin]
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BABEY! GOD HE鈥橲 SO FUCKING CUTE!
First off, I love those faces he makes, and second, it鈥檚 interesting that even at the tender age of four, he鈥檇 apparently watched it a LOT. I鈥檓 sure Inko鈥檚 exaggerating a bit, but damn does this kid have a hyperfocus on this 7:31 video. From what I can tell, this video seems to focus on a destroyed overpass of some kind, either from a villain attack or from an earthquake, which is interesting when I鈥檝e seen a lot of different descriptions of the video in fanfics鈥 Izuku makes it sound like an earthquake, to be honest, so that鈥檚 gonna be my running theory for it for now.
(Also holy shit All Might is huge, look at those tiny people on him, jesus christ.)
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Interesting鈥 I think this might be right before the appointment, with that expression on her face. Also, SPARKLEY BABEY! AHH MY SEROTONIN!
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You. Fuck you in particular, sir, for many reasons.
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Also, interesting note here that Inko is fourth generation in terms of quirks, and it seems like it鈥檚 supposed to be an 鈥榦bvious thing鈥. I know I鈥檝e seen suggestions (and even assumed for a while) that we were closer to eight or so generations of quirks, with Inko鈥檚 family just being a bit later into the quirk game, but鈥 hmm.聽
I think I鈥檝e seen calcs that suggest that a 鈥榞eneration鈥 would be around 25 years, which would make quirks a phenomenon that鈥檚 about 100-130 years old in setting, depending on how 鈥榝ar鈥 Izuku is into the fifth generation. But I mean, with some later information, AFO鈥檚 age is suggested to be even older than 130 by 鈥榗urrent times鈥, so鈥 really hard to say for sure. I don鈥檛 have all the information to make any serious calculations of my own, but I know others have done it, and gotten a couple of different values for things. I might do my own eventually, but that鈥檒l be way later, when I鈥檝e actually dug up all of said information and can throw it into one post.
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鈥楤y the age of four,鈥 which we know can mean as early as birth (Present Mic, probably plenty of mutant quirks), and no mention of quirk mutation yet. It鈥檚 just 鈥榦ne parent鈥檚 quirk or a mix thereof鈥. I think I might keep track of families and quirks and see what comes up, especially with certain current events鈥
But yeah, two joints means quirkless (and that is not a child鈥檚 foot sir). And the mention of 鈥榰seless parts鈥 [paraphrased] which has lead to many a humorous story about other vestigial quirkless things like wisdom teeth, appendixes, and other, sillier concepts that might or might not be in part my fault for binge-reading the wiki and sharing the exciting things I learned about with the discord server I鈥檓 in.
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...give me a moment, I鈥檓 gonna translate all of these with the power of google, discord, and eyeballing the text to try and match it up.
top row: Re/ta/ri/ji/gu [lettering] | [kanji] | layout | textile | de/za/i/n [design] | DESIGN | TEXT
bottom row: [kanji] | te/ki/su/ta/i/ru [textile] | lettering | DESI[GN] | layout | LAY[OUT] | re/i/ma/[n] [layman]
(that last one probably has more to it, some sort of beginner鈥檚 guide?)
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First kanji book: 瑕栬浼濋仈 (shikaku dentatsu) [sense of sight, vision] [transmission (e.g. news, chemical signals, electricity), communication, delivery, conveyance, transfer, relay, propagation, conduction]
[rough translation: visual communications]
[Pretty confident on this one! And basically helps confirm that there鈥檚 someone with a programming/communications/web design job in the household.]
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Second kanji book: 鐭ヨ[鎯呭牨] (chikaku [joutai]) [perception, sensation, awareness] [information, news, intelligence, advices, data contained in characters, signals, code, etc.]
[rough translation: perception of information]
[Not so confident on this one, but it fits with the theme of the rest of the books, so I鈥檓 rolling with it for now because I鈥檝e already spent hours on this.]
Things discord friends have pointed out while helping me with this project:
Rey: DESIGN and TEXT and LAYOUT sound like coding books actually, I wonder if she's some sort of web designer or a journalist 鈥
Me: Huh, that could explain why she seems like a stay at home mom, since my mom works as a web designer and has been working from home for years now.
Rey: It鈥檚 not unusual for someone to have both programming and sewing books, since I have those on my desk rn.
Gem: Those books could also be Hisashi鈥檚, since this is when Izuku is still around 4.
Me: True, but also consider: Hacker Inko
Literally everyone: Hacker Inko!!
Rey: I really like the idea of Inko designing a bunch of different pages though - I feel like she would really like to do that!
Me: And we know she's good at design since she worked on Izuku's outfit- wait wait wait. Did Izuku learn how to do design and drawing from Inko doing web design and sketches for her sewing hobby??
Pianos: What if she makes an outfit out of code and fabric, so it can hack technology though the fabric? A hero costume!
Rey: Like some sort of living fabric?
Pandora: Izuku "going to work with her" and making little sketches while she works at her desk ;;
Rey: SDJFIAKL; OH MY GOD THAT鈥橲 SO PRECIOUS
Me: You know, between the textile/sewing and the programming stuff, Inko could fit into a lot of the vigilante tropes used for Izuku鈥 homemade 'uniform' for doing the work, hacking in order to access cameras and police databases鈥 the tools are all there鈥
Rey: Awww, mother son vigilante duo would be really cute!! Or what about Inko working at Deku鈥檚 agency when he graduates? For both his costume department and social media manager! That would be so cute!!
Rey: Deku becomes the number one hero not just because of his fantastic demeanor and his ability to save people, but because everyone is in love with his darling mother who runs his instagram.
So yeah, that was fun! And now Inko is gonna be a work-from-home web designer in all of my fics, and maybe I鈥檒l give her some hacking skills too. (And explore a bit more of her better known sewing/textile skills while I鈥檓 at it.) Now, where was I again?
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Oh right, chapter analysis! A thing I didn鈥檛 notice before my translation segue was that it鈥檚 raining for this second bit.聽
I like how before, when Izuku is excited, the room is well lit, but now in his sorrow, the room is dark, only illuminated by the computer. Inko has the same worried expression as she did before the doctor鈥檚 visit, the closed hand to the chin, and you can see how she鈥檚 just a bit slouched in on herself (at least, that鈥檚 how it seems to me).聽
Izuku states that he wants to be 鈥榓 super-cool hero like that鈥, not as a question of whether he can, but as more of a statement/plead that he鈥檚 still trying to hold onto his dream, even at that point. Inko gets upset and rushes to hug him, and we get this:
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I like how the chair serves as a sort of barrier between them, a moment of disconnect between Izuku and Inko. Another fun little thing:
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Already seeing a bit of transition back to the present, since that鈥檚 Izuku鈥檚 middle school uniform, and we鈥檙e right back to the present after Inko and Izuku鈥檚 teary states in the past.
And鈥 while this only covered four pages of the manga, I feel like stopping off here, since we鈥檙e next getting into All Might and that meeting, which goes for quite a few pages, and honestly we did learn a bit in this post already. Web designer / hacker Inko for the win! :D
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navyhyuck3 months ago
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okay but imagine this: nct dream as your desi family
LMFAO wait but no i think i was talking to one of my desi friends about this one guy from enha (i think jay or jake) and she said that he seems like the one male cousin that flirts with everyone he鈥檚 not related to at family gatherings ;; so on that note,,, (i kinda did desi family friends bc i don鈥檛 rlly see my family that much 馃様 just dream as your desi cousins basically)
also these descriptions get progressively more concerning as they go so ;-;
mark: the cousin who鈥檚 on the verge of graduating college but doesn鈥檛 know what he wants to do yet. plays the guitar for the little kids at family gatherings and gives speeches at hs senior graduations. aunties are glad he can鈥檛 cook bc it鈥檚 perfect husband material apparently. really likes mint chutney and eats all the fried snacks with it.
renjun: the one humble cousin who got into an ivy. he鈥檚 doing graphic design which the aunties don鈥檛 like, but he鈥檚 rich so they still want their daughters to marry him. really bad at driving though, once, he totaled his sister鈥檚 car and never apologized. definitely makes plantain or mirchi bhaji in his apartment for him and all his roommates.
jeno: the athletic desi cousin (rare)! was scouted my some decent school for soccer his junior year and decided to attend. aunties are happy because he鈥檚 open to arranged marriages. wears kurtas at family gatherings and is praised for being handsome.
donghyuck: the smart stoner cousin (common). literally a fucking drug dealer. but he won鈥檛 get caught because he鈥檚 pre-med. biryani is his favorite food, and he makes it biweekly. probably curses in hindi at non desis. aunties think he鈥檚 a sweetheart though, but he鈥檒l literally get your children high alright.
jaemin: male version of aishwarya rai cousin. KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THE VIOLIN AND FLUTE IN KARNATAK STYLE. president of the 鈥榮outh asian cultural club鈥 in his community. hot as fucking hell, a literal masterpiece. probably also pre-med and aunties fight for his attention. literally is perfect.
chenle: i鈥檓 better than you cousin (also common). hates the common folk, he鈥檚 elite. his aunt owns a sweets shop and he probably sells weed there after closing. also a drug dealer but also too smart to get caught. aunties have mixed feelings about him because he dropped out of college but he did it to start his pretty successful business. probably will never get married bc idk god complex.
jisung: doing this for his parent鈥檚 happiness cousin. miserable but it鈥檚 okay, as long as he can have tandoori chicken on sundays, he鈥檚 happy. likes watches the girls dance during garba even though his brother told him he looks like a creep. plays tennis but isn鈥檛 even that good. doesn鈥檛 know how to speak the mother tongue because his parents never taught him and he鈥檚 called a disgrace by non desis now. maybe he wants to commit a crime.
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drethanramslaya year ago
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A funny thing called Fate: Chapter 2
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Pairing: Bryce X MC (Aisha Khurrana)
Word Count: 4.6 K words (yeah yeah its more than usual)
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
Warning: None, just some cursing
Author鈥檚 note: The next chapter is here and it is in Aisha鈥檚 POV!!
I decided to take part in @choicesseptemberchallenge20鈥 and the prompt is heaven which you will find in bold.聽
TERMS THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:
- IIT, Delhi: It鈥檚 one of the most premier institute聽for engineering in India. Delhi campus is said to be the best one in the country. The majority of the Indian CEO鈥檚 like Google, at least have a degree of IIT under their belt.聽
-ku'uipo: Sweetheart
-'Ae: Yes
- Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai: Child, focus on your studies, friends come and go (TBH this is the one line which maximum desi kids have heard while growing up. That's why we can be uh.. awkward in making new friends lol)
-Main kya gadhi hoon: I'm such a dumbass (side note: gadhi (female) actually means donkey in hindi)
-Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine: I have not seen a bigger asshole than this guy. (yes I love swearing in hindi and what about it)
Forgive me if i made any errors
10 YEARS AGO- AISHA'S POV
My fingers ran against the spines of the book, my head tilted as I searched for a new book to dive into.
"Found anything of your liking, Aisha?" Tina, the librarian asked, her kind eyes twinkling. The old librarian loved me because I always helped around in sorting the books or with checkout. She suggested that if I were to help her, she would pay me so I decided why not?
But the lack of people coming to the library and their constant need to be fake on social media, flexing about their looks instead of textbooks often left the library empty which consequently resulted in free time.
Not that I minded.
In that free time I would either catch up on my study assignments or I would read the books recently added to the collection be it fiction, politics, history, astronomy... I wasn't picky about the genres.
But lately, my attention is being drawn to medical journals and textbooks. Yes, I'm 16 and that its definitely not people my age do but, to be the person balancing on the tightrope between life and death, the person who stands between existence and heaven... it's just a beautiful paradox that I can't help be captivated by the concept.
That and my strengths are biology and chemistry so its just an added plus. So, I definitely dream of being a world class doctor.聽
Not to brag, but I know all the pulse points in the body and can name the bones of the skull in my sleep. My parents don't know that because... let's say there is a reason why I stay out of home for the majority of the day.
Are we again going to go over this? I am sick and tired of your fucking indiscipline. How I wish you could be more like Aditya... Mama's voice rung in my ears which made me close my eyes and take a shuddering breath.
Now is not the time to think about how awful you are. I repeated it in my head like a mantra, making it a point to message my brother and rant about the newest development.
Despite our parents trying to pit me against bhaiya, we were thick as thieves. We always had each other's backs and we're there to cheer each other up. Whenever our parents would scream at any of us, we would wait until they fell asleep to do something to lift the other person up. Midnight feasts, movie binge or just cuddling and imagining a future where we were away from them... That always managed to cheer me up and I knew bhaiya enjoyed it too.
I don't think we fought that much either because we were pretty close in age, with only three and a half years difference. We are pretty like-minded and scientifically inclined only he was interested in computer engineering while I was fascinated by the engineering of the human body.
It sucked that he is in IIT, Delhi while I'm so far away. We still manage to video call irrespective of the time zones but it is not the same as having the comfort of your older brother.
"I think I will take this." I handed her a battered copy of Gray's anatomy.
Tina just gave a knowing smile and I checked out. I headed to the nearby Fleming Beach Park, which is one of the most popular beaches in Maui. It was a five-minute walk from the library and the majority of the school population used to come here to hang out in the evenings.
Not that I was paying any attention to my oblivious classmates.
I headed to Kimo's Beach Shack and the owner gave me a gentle smile.
"What will it be, ku'uipo? The usual?" They asked as they wiped their hand on the dishtowel.
"'Ae." I smiled at them and they started making my favourite drink- Strawberry milkshake.
Precariously balancing my bag, the drink in one hand and my wrist-thick library book under the armpit of my other hand, I headed to the quieter side of the beach, away from the raucous.
I settle down under the shade of the palm trees and lean back against the rocks, taking in the view around me. I could see people from my school roaming around in their swimming suits either playing volleyball or surfing. As I sipped my milkshake (looking like an absolute loner, must I add) my eyes drifted to their happy faces as the joked around, laughing and having fun with their friends.
The two concepts that are so unfamiliar to me.
When I was back in India, I had a good group of friends who I would hang out with and play basketball with. It was good but shifting to a new place can strain those relationships. I do follow them on social media but seeing them enjoying and doing the things which we used to do together, it causes my heart to ache.
And I never really tried making friends here in Maui because a) The people here didn't consider me as one of them and b) My parents kept on saying it is temporary so there was no point focusing on that. Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai. My dad told me the one night I decided to express my excessive loneliness.
Thanks papa, real helpful. I shook my head, sipping my drink as I carefully opened my library book.
"You look sad." A childish voice spoke up breaking me out from my melancholy. I looked up and saw a four-year-old girl, her doe-like eyes staring down at me. She was wearing a pink summer dress and a cute bow hairband, taming her light brown hair.
"Huh?"
"You look sad... and lonely."
"I am okay, keiki... Don't worry."
The kid's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "How did you know my name?"
My eyes widened. In the two years in Hawaii, I had learnt a little bit of Hawaiian and spoke in bits and pieces. And I'm pretty sure keiki meant 'child' in Hawaiian so you could imagine the shock I felt when her name was the literal translation of child.
Who the fuck names their child... child?
"A lucky guess. It is nice to meet you Keiki." She moved her hand forward and Keiki's hand clutched my big hand with her small ones shaking it. Her hand was as big as my palm.
"What's your name?" Keikie asked as she sat down next to me.
"I'm Aisha. And, what are you doing here all alone?"
"I came with my elder brother but he and his friends were playing and he forgot his promise to build a sandcastle with me. So I just went walking." She huffed and crossed her short arms across her chest.
"Well, your brother would be worried about you, won't he?" I asked as her eyes scan the crowd, looking for a guy who remotely looks like my little companion.
"Well, I think that's a go-good puni-shi-ment for him." She struggled with the big word.
Aisha chuckled and soon Keiki's giggles joined hers.
"You remind me of the times when I used to bother my elder brother like that. He would get so mad."
"Where is he now?" She asked as her hands fisted the sand, her eyes moving to look at the brunette.
"Well, he is in university, in a completely different country."
"Do you miss him?"
"A lot." I sighed. Her puppy eyes met mine and she reached to hold my elbow. I smiled down at her, appreciating the gesture. She opened her mouth to ask me more questions when we heard a commotion.
"KEIKI!! There you are!" A shout wafted towards us, interrupting Keiki. I saw a tall guy jogging towards us and when my eyes landed on him, I immediately recognized him.
Bryce Lahela. The golden boy of my school, with girls and guys falling for him, left, right, centre. And right now, he was approaching me completely shirtless, his abs glistening in the evening sun. He had a Polynesian tattoo wrapping around his left bicep and ending a little below his collarbone which had me feeling... uh thirsty?
Cool, cool, cool, just act like yourself.
Yeah as if that's helped you deal with your awkwardness. Her conscience snarked at her.
鈥淪hut up.鈥 I muttered to myself. But, I wasn鈥檛 subtle enough and Bryce turned towards me, a weird look in his eyes.
Off to a great start, Aisha. Keep up the good work. I mentally groaned as I went back to reading my library book.聽
"Thank god Keiki you are okay... I was so worried." He kneeled and hugged her, immediately forgetting my weird mumblings. I could feel the body heat emanating from him and suddenly, the anatomy of the kidney seemed more interesting than the hot guy beside me.
"Its okay Bryce. I was talking to my new friend." Keiki squeaked as she pulled away from the hug, two sets of hazel eyes staring at me now.
My eyes widened and I subconsciously reached to push my glasses up my nose, feeling the back of my neck heating up.
"Well, thank you so much." His voice reverberated and I swear I felt as if I would combust at the spot.
I looked up and shot a tiny smile. "No worries. Keiki here makes a nice study buddy."
I internally smacked my head. Study buddy? Really? Who uses that term now?
"Of course. Daddy says that I'm a beauty with brains." She said with a smug smile.
"Well, that's the one thing that I agree with dad," Bryce said as he settled down on her other side. The one feet distance enabled my mind to resume working.
I smiled down at Keiki and I found that Bryce was looking at me intently.
O... okay?
"Wait... You go to my school right? Lahainaluna High School?"
I nodded my head. I was about to introduce myself when his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
He was snapping his fingers when his face lightened up with recognition. "You are Aisha, right? The newbie who joined us last year I was in your chemistry class last year."
The drink almost fell from my hand and I had to clutch it tighter to prevent myself from making a bigger mess. Clearing my throat I smiled nervously. "Yeah, that's me. You are Bryce, right? You are on the basketball team, right?"
"You know me?" He asked, shocked and I could hardly stop myself from rolling my eyes.
"Duh?! You are Mr. Popular with really good looks and either people love you or hate you." I rambled off.
A small smile played on his lips. "And which category would you belong too? The love or hate category?"
I gave a shy smile. "Let's just say I'm on neutral grounds. Give me a good reason why I should like you."
"Because of my dashing looks? My tattoo?" He stretched his hands wide, gesturing towards himself. His hair caught the evening light, making it look like a halo. His hazel eyes had flecks of gold which threatened to drown me but before I could get lost in his sheer beauty, I shook my head to snap out of the daze of his presence and gave a mocking sigh.
"Aaaannnndd, he is just like other dumb jocks who is overly obsessed with his looks. Why are they all the same?"
Keiki put her hand sympathetically on my lap. "Don't worry Ash. I don't like Bryce when he talks about his looks either."
Bryce gasped. "Keiki you are breaking my heart."
"Good."
He reached for her and started tickling her which made her squeal with laughter. I had to get up so that the sand doesn't get on me, laughing at the sight. "Brryyccee!! Stopp!!"
"Not until you tell me I'm the best brother in the world."
Gasping for breath with tears in her eyes, Keiki breathed out in defeat. "Okay, okay. You are the best... brother in... the world."
Bryce pulled back a grin playing on his lips.
"Good."
My phone rang and I saw Mama's name flash on the screen which made me sigh.
"Your mom?" Bryce asked.
"Yep. should reach home before she turns into momzilla." We chuckled as I put my book into my bag.
"Bye Keiki, it was nice talking to you."
"Bye Ash. I like you. Can we make sandcastles next time?" I laughed and nodded, "Sure sweetie."
"Where is my goodbye?" Bryce pouted.
I rolled her eyes. "Bye Bryce. See you around."
And with that, I turned on her heel, and walked home, feeling much better.
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PRESENT
Aisha felt like banging her head against the wall of the hospital out of utter embarrassment. In the span of 7 hours, she had pissed off her superior, met her ex from ten years ago, got stuck with a partner who hardly did anything and now managed to embarrass herself yet again in front of her role model.
Rookie... Are you hiding from me? The way Dr. Ramsey had an eyebrow raised, as if to question why she was hiding behind another intern and the appalled expression as she stumbled over her words were forever imprinted in her mind.
Not my brightest moment. Aisha recollected as she sighed at the way she stuttered and finally came up with an excuse.
I'm doing charts. She mocked herself as she shook her head. There was a table right next to me!! I could have come up with anything but that weak ass excuse.
And she had always dreamed that if she were to meet Bryce in real life, she would definitely insult the fuck out of him and then for the finishing stroke, she would probably punch him in his handsome face or kick him in the crown jewels.
But sadly, you seldom get the things you wish for.
I don't have time for this - Main kya gadhi hoon. She mentally groaned as she tried to shut off the part of her brain which was so hell-bent on making her feel humiliated.
She entered Annie's room to find her curled up in her bed, playing idly with her phone. She perked up a little when she saw Aisha, forcing a smile on her face.
"Oh. Hi, Dr. Khurrana."
"I just came by to see how you're feeling Annie."
Annie shrugged. "The same. The nurse came by and gave me some medication a little while ago.."
Opening Annie's chart she checked. "Yeah, antibiotics. It's too soon to see any improvement yet, but hopefully, we'll see some results soon."
Aisha was about to turn on her heel and leave when she heard Annie's small voice. "hey, could you stay awhile? It's... kinda lonely, being here all on my own."
Aisha gave an empathetic smile and reached to sit down on the chair near her bed. "Of course I can."
"Thank you once again doc."
"No, thank you. I haven't been off my feet since I got out of bed this morning. So Annie," Aisha leaned forward, "what are you studying?"
Annie blinked as if she was confused by the question. She took a couple of heavy breaths before attempting to answer.
"My master's is in... English... but my... my..." She swayed, her voice woozy as she tried to finish her sentence.
Aisha was on alert. "Annie, are you feeling okay?" She asked as she felt her pulse which was dropping before Annie passed out.
The heart rate monitor sounded a long, flat tone as her heart stopped.
"OH MY GOD!! Code blue, I need some help here!!" Aisha shouted, pressing the button near her bed.
"C'mon Annie stay with me." As Aisha stood on the nearby stool, performing CPR as she waited for the code team to arrive.
"Aisha?!" Jackie's shocked voice made her lookup.
"Jackie, where is the code team?"
"Room 502 called a code blue just before you. Just keep up with CPR. They'll get to you when they can!"
Aisha's eyes flashed. "That could be too late!! Help me, Jackie we are losing her fast."
"What were her symptoms?" Jackie asked as she snapped on the latex gloves and moved towards the bed.
"Symptoms were headache and nausea. Started during her vacation to Indonesia. Aurora and I did a blood workup and gave her cefpodoxime." Aisha opened the gown and Jackie's eyes narrowed in on the rash rapidly spreading on the side of the body.
"She is breaking in hives. She is in anaphylactic shock!"
"Now that I think about it, it may be because of her allergy to the antibiotics I gave... I had fucking asked her, dammit." Guilt made her chest heavy.
Jackie's face turned into a scowl as she wheeled the defibrillator cart closer. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is. This girl needs you now! We have to get her heart started ourselves."
Aisha nodded as she opened Annie's gown, baring her chest. She took a steadying breath. You have done this numerous times in AIIMS, you can do this.
Taking the paddles, she placed one paddle on the right side, beneath her collarbone and the other paddle on the left side, just beneath her armpit.
A small impressive smile made its way on Jackie's lips. "Good, now set the charge."
"Charging to 300 volts... Clear!"
Annie's body spasmed as the paddles discharged. Keeping them aside, Aisha resumed her compressions on Annie's chest.
C'mon Annie... You can do this... Come back to me. Aisha prayed.
The monitor beeped twice before Annie's heartbeat returned, accelerated but constant.
She let out a sigh of breath as she bent over the bed. Jackie clapped her back. "You are soooo lucky."
"Shut up. Now just give her an epinephrine injection and intubate while I maintain compression."
Jackie nodded her head and Aisha shot a grateful smile as she continued her compressions, her hands aching.
"What the hell is going on in here, Rookie?"
Yikes. Aisha winced at the tone and looked up to find Dr. Ramsey glaring from the doorway.
Time to own up, buddy. She sighed and spoke up. "Dr. Ramsey, she was allergic to the antibiotics I prescribed.
She couldn't gauge his reaction from so far away. "Well... at least you are taking responsibility. Sometimes patients don't know about their own allergies. That's why you always have to be cautious."
Jackie injected the epinephrine pen into Annie's tight. Still unconscious, Annie took a shuddering gasp of air.
"And now we intubate."
"Excellent work, Doctor...?"
A self-satisfied smile made its way on Jackie's face. "Varma."
"You were assigned to this case?"
"No, I was passing and I hear Dr. Khurrana calling a code blue."
A smile made its way on his face which shocked Aisha. This man voluntarily uses his facial muscles to smile? I wouldn't have known. "The patient's very lucky you were here. I'm not confident Dr. Khurrana could have handled this alone."
Now, wait a damn minute... Aisha clenched her jaw. This wasn't her first time she was getting insulted and yeah it was called for but it didn't help her feel any better either.
Jackie bit her lip and glanced at Aisha, which Aisha pointedly ignored. Watch her jump at the opportunity in 3...2...1
"Thank you. Just doing my job, Dr. Ramsey."
There it is.
Gulping down her annoyance, Aisha spoke up. "Dr. Varma really bailed me out." Aisha turned towards Jackie and nodded stiffly. "Thank you, Dr. Varma."
Jackie tried to read her, guilt swimming in her eyes.
She should be guilty, she took the credit of the save when I was the one calling the shots.
"...Anytime."
Fuck you. She narrowed her eyes slightly which made Jackie wince.
Luckily, Dr. Ramsey gave Jackie an out. "Dr. Varma, you should return to your patients."
A relieved smile made its way on her face. "Yes, Doctor." Throwing a backward glance towards Aisha, she walked out.
Dr. Ramsey swivelled towards Aisha, his face drawn tight with annoyance. "And you... you need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here. It doesn't matter that it's your first day, or that you're still learning. Whether this girl lives or dies is on you. Is that clear?"
"Crystal, Dr. Ramsey."
"You still have no idea what's wrong with her, and your first attempt nearly killed her. This is the real world. No room for mista--"
"Hi, Dr. Ramsey? Sorry to interrupt." A short Asian intern interrupted him and Aisha let out a small sigh of relief.
This guy would give my parents a run for their money. Why do I meet assholes everywhere I go?
"For the love of God, what now?"
"One of the nurses told me... that one of the other interns told them... that one of the doctors said..."
Dr. Ramsey certainly didn't enjoy beating around the bush. With a biting voice, sharp enough to make both Aisha and the intern to flinch, he commanded. "Skip to the point."
"Dr. Toussaint needs to see you urgently." She rushed.
Dr. Ramsey pinched the bridge of his nose, muttered something about 'interns' under his breath.
Straightening his coat, who gave pointedly glanced at Aisha. "Remember what I said, Rookie. Next time I see you, you'd better have solved the case." He turned on his feet and stormed out making the petite intern jump. 聽
Aisha stepped out into the hall with the intern, leaned against the wall and let out a sigh.
"Thank god for Dr. Toussaint. I swear if he wouldn't have called, Dr. Ramsey would have burst a vein or something."
The intern leaned against the wall adjacent to Aisha. "Yeah... Too bad he doesn't actually need to see Dr. Ramsey."
Aisha's eyes widened and she turned to stare at the other intern. "Huh?"
"I made it up! I could hear Ramsey chewing you out halfway down the hall, I figured you might need a save."
Oh my god, that is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me.
Aisha smiled brightly. "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. But you could get in serious trouble if he realizes it."
She shrugged with a cheeky grin. "If. Besides, I'm tougher than I look. I'm Sienna by the way. Or Dr. Trinh. Whichever floats your boat."
"I'm Aisha Khurrana. Thanks again." Aisha's pager beeped and she looked down and sighed. "As fun as our little adventure was, I need to get back to work. Nice talking to you Sienna and once again, thanks for the save."
"Bye, hope you solve the case. Also, wait! I heard all the doctors hang out at this bar called Donahue's. I think, just down the street. Apparently, it's like the place to go and decompress after a long shift. Wanna come?"
"Sure!! If only I survive my first shift."
Sienna gave a brilliant smile. "Assuming you live through the next few hours, I'll meet you in the atrium after we clock out."
And Aisha got back to work, tending to her other patients but Annie's unconscious face kept on flashing behind her eyelids and Ramsey's words echoed in her head, like a broken tape recorder.
You need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here.
She took a shuddering breath, doubt slipping into her mind, making her question everything she did. Every patient she treated and every prescription she signed.
Am I really cut out for this?
She tried to stop the rising anxiety but it still continued to swell in her like a balloon. Her throat began to dry up and it felt as if the weight on her chest didn't allow her to breathe.
Oh god, it's happening.
Feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown, she ducked into a dark supply closet so nobody could see her while she tried to pull herself together.
It's okay. You worked your way through med school to get here. You are worthy. She chanted, taking in gulps of air.
It had hardly been a minute when the door suddenly opened and she heard footsteps.
Aisha internally groaned in annoyance. "Get in or get out. Just quit holding the door." She turned around and saw Bryce.
Oh fuck.
He nervously cleared his throat and walked towards her, maintaining his distance. "I feel like I'm interrupting something. Are... are you okay?"
Thanks to the dark, he couldn't see her tear rimmed eyes. Sighing loudly she untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, something she often did when she felt like her life was on the verge of falling apart.
"Nothing. I'm just looking for something." She tried to speak in a sharp tone but it just sounded like her voice was cracking.
She knew that Bryce had definitely heard how close she was to crying. Concern laced his voice. "Hey, I know when we met I was nothing but a dumb, self-obsessed jock but it's different now. I... I know you are not okay. Want to talk about it? Or vent?"
Goddamit Bryce. "Fine! I almost killed my first patient and I fucking swear to god I saw my career flash before my eyes. But it was lowkey my fault. I should have checked for allergies. But I tried fixing my error by calling the shots and Jackie helped me. BUT that's not it! Instead of being a humble person, Jackie swoops in and takes the credit of my save and Dr. Ramsey just goes on congratulating her as if she won some fucking AMA Award-"
"Aisha, breathe."
Taking a lungful of air she continued. "- And don't even get me started on Dr. Ethan Freaking Ramsey. Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine. What a dick!! He should get fucking laid to work off all his anger issues-"
Bryce snorted but didn't dare to interrupt Aisha. From the short time they dated, he knew better than to interrupt her mid-rant, it only managed to instigate her.
Another deep breathe. "- Boy does he manage to make me doubt myself in every step of the way like am I worthy of being here? I mean, I threw my heart and soul into med school because I wanted to be the best doctor out there but dammit I don't think I am ready."
When he made sure she wasn't going to launch into a new roast session, he spoke up. "Wow. You managed so many years of med school, but eight hours into the shift and you're surrendering? Didn't take you for a quitter."
Excuse me? Aisha's eyes narrowed.
"You don't know me anymore Bryce. The Aisha you dated is long gone and dead." She said in a low voice.
He shrugged. "True, but I know that you still have the fire in you to do what you love the most. C'mon, you have dealt with worse but yet you are here, standing tall. This is just temporary. I know you can pick yourself back up and break down all the obstacles in front of you."
She looked up at Bryce, only able to see the faint outline of his body. He still was the same- tall, well built and with really good hair. "No offence but... you used to be the guy who would wet himself during chemistry practicals, what happened to make you so...?" She gestured her hand at him, accidentally hitting his hand.
He hesitated. "As you said, things changed and you don't know me anymore Aisha."
"Fair enough."
The lack of space and the awkward silence just fueled the tension between them. She could feel his converse bumping into her shoes and the heated gaze on her face.
There used to be a time when Aisha and Bryce would talk for hours on end and they never ran out of topics to talk about. Be it something as lame as which is the superior flavour of ice cream or as deep as life after death.
Look at us now... Aisha thought to herself, gulping.
Her hair fell on her face as she averted her eyes, unable to come up with something to talk about. Bryce's hand involuntary reached to push back the rebel strands behind her ear, his hands caressing her cheek in the process. It felt as if electric sparks shot up her cheeks, making her blush.
Bryce opened his mouth. "Aisha-"
The door opened and she heard a feminine voice. "Bryce I saw you giving me the look so I decided to join you-"
A woman walked around the corner of the help and Aisha's jaw dropped. It was not because she was shocked that he was dating, he could screw the entire hospital for all she cared but, no... she was topless.
"Oh." The unknown woman placed her hands beside her.
"Sam-" Bryce began and Aisha spoke up at the same time. "I was just-"
The confusion was interrupted again when the closet door opened again and a senior resident stood before them, aghast. "What is going on over here?"
"Oh fuck." The expletive spilt from Aisha's lips.
The topless woman, whose name apparently was Sam, quipped in. "Yeah what she said."
Well, this is totally not awkward.
AUTHOR鈥漇 NOTE #2:
Number one, yeah I dragged PB a bit in regards to Keiki鈥檚 name.. PB do your research challenge 馃檮
Number two, okay so about the tattoo part, me and @bratzlahela鈥 were just talking about Bryce having Polynesian tattoos based on this post and I had to integrate it in my series lol
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This is something I imagined 馃き
Number 3, Also I tried to change up the scene a bit with Jackie because tbh, Aisha is pretty fucking smart and she won鈥檛 be like聽鈥淏oo-hoo. I don鈥檛 know anything鈥 And about the part where she spoke about using the defibrillator聽numerous times in AIIMS, In India the medical education is a little more hands-on and focuses more on clinical practice rather than theory. Medical students from first year start doing ward duty and help around in the hospitals taking patient history, etc. Also, they have a mandatory year of internship without which you don鈥檛 get your license.聽聽
Number 4, So about that supply closet scene, how many of y鈥檃ll thought would you get a make out sesh?
If yes, here is your clown wig 馃ぁ
Number 5, AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT TODDLER KEIKI I SWEAR I WAS JUST GUSHING THE ENTIRE TIME 馃ズ
Lastly, IT PHYSICALLY HURT ME TO ROAST ETHAN LIKE IM SO SORRY SWEETIE 馃槶馃ズ馃ぇ
This was a pretty long author鈥檚 note heheheh
Like, comment, reblog and share your thoughts 鉂
Bryce X MC: @lilyvalentine @sanchita012 @zeniamiii @lucy-268 @have-aheart @utterlyinevitable @anotherbeingsworld @this-person-is-busy @cryinginthebackseat @mayascherub @jaxsmutsuo @rookie-ramsey @aylamreads @caseyvalentineramsey @arcticlumineer鈥 @chetachisblog鈥 @kelseaaa鈥
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77 notesView notes
mismashedsocksa year ago
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聽so riordan made a half assed lame excuse on his lazy/racist writing on piper yesterday and on top of that he made another one on samirah and i鈥檓 muslim so i am going to talk about it
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damn i鈥檓 so sorry these people have been pushing you past your comfort zone about your wildly popular racist caricatures of minorities that have great impact on your young, impressionable target audience. while its fine that if he takes a break for his mental health he still needs to deal with these problems you can鈥檛 just take a break and hope they go away.
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why does he think everyone is bullying him. if they talked in all caps, cussed at you, or didn鈥檛 stop bothering you, i鈥檓 sorry they鈥檙e just trying to get you to realize how racist your books are, which you keep refusing to believe. i can believe that a few of them were doing it for attention, but it couldn鈥檛 be the majority. and my god, god forbid people want you to write your books the way you preferred, without racist stereotypes.聽馃檲
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you can set your boundaries but you keep ignoring the people, you don鈥檛 listen. like you put yourself out there as a writer you are open to criticism
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why does he keep doing this to seem like the good guy. you give excuses and don鈥檛 do anything and just say that its up to you, you can think whatever you want 馃グ馃グ. like its such an obvious excuse not to take any action.
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i鈥檓 sorry but no matter how many muslims you鈥檝e interacted with you haven鈥檛 gotten the full experience and last time i checked teachers aren鈥檛 the kids best friends soo uhm. anyways the rest of it is just him telling his experience with muslimah students so its just there.
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so uhm you just said your students聽鈥榰nwillingly鈥 become an ambassador to everyone she knew鈥. and then you went to talk to them about islam to make sure you were TEACHING THEM YOUR SOURCE MATERIAL CORRECTLY. i鈥檓 sorry imagine. these are kids not some scholars you go to consult. there are so many muslims all over the internet and youtube sharing their experiences for you to access on how to聽鈥榬epresent their experience鈥 correctly. you鈥檙e the teacher here. picture this:as a muslilm, i teach at a public school and while teaching about Christianity in class, no i would double check or some dumb shit with the students. like educate yourself i鈥檓 sorry. anyways apparently he blames his mistakes on himself then goes on to deny he ever made any mistakes i can鈥檛.
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so this is a blatant lie. 99% of muslims i鈥檝e met have never read all of sahih bukhari and sahih muslim. usually only scholars do that when they are studying islam for YEARS. and FIVE different interpretations of the quran on top of that. ok so sahih bukhari is 9 books that are over 300 pages each and sahih musilm is 7 volumes with also about 300+ pages each. and then the english versions of the quran are 600 pages. and he claims he read five of them. i鈥檓 so sorry but no he didn鈥檛. he writes books so fast and he released mcga around the time toa was being released almost one book per year so he did not have a lot of spare time. the rest ig i can let slide. also and if he did do all of that why does he make so many mistakes in writing samirah. and even IF you accept his excuses reading ALL of this source material is great for teaching your class or whatever but not for writing a modern day muslim. you don鈥檛 need to lie to us rick聽鉂わ笍
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most of this is just describing what she鈥檚 like but his writing did also add in the model minority, smart kid trope. like no they don鈥檛 have to be a terrorist or a A+ student who is the best at everything. there is a middle ground to their personality.聽
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i actually used to love his rep in sam. that鈥檚 how i got into the series. i saw a hijabi girl on his website. i got excited and read all of his books. i loved piper, leo, hazel, percy, annabeth, sadie, carter, nico, everyone. now that i look back i was younger and didn鈥檛 see anything wrong with it back then. its great that he tried to portray minorities but he did it so badly and now is just denying the faults that his now older readers are trying to tell him.
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hey, uhm didn鈥檛 you read all of sahih bukhari and muslim? hmm i didn鈥檛 think so. anyways the way he dealt with it honestly wasn鈥檛 that bad. but the whole聽鈥榳hoops鈥. like why does he keep portraying himself as the innocent old white man just trying his best.
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honestly how he wrote samirah as a hijabi was the dumbest thing i鈥檝e ever read. its is totally fine if she wasn鈥檛 hijabi, many muslim girls aren鈥檛, and that is their choice. but he decided to make her like a weird middle ground. it was so lazy and inconsistent. in the first book she says she wears it when she needs to, like in situations like going to the masjid. this was fine, since many muslim girls do that. then in the next books she wears it all the time except when she鈥檚 in valhalla for some reason. hijabi girls take of their scarves when they鈥檙e at home or with family, but making her claim the entirety of vallhalla as her family. that was just demeaning and stupid to me. it takes away its value. and i fucking hated that last sentence. for hijabis, their hijab is important and not a toy or weapon or a MAGIC ITEM. and then on top of that she would have to take it of to hide. he could鈥檝e made it anything else. her hijab isn鈥檛 some token item istg.
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i love how he admits that they are a big problem and abusive and usually engage with child marriages. i鈥檓 relatively he doesn鈥檛 understand what the people even meant by it. the practice is a problem that isn鈥檛 supposed to be seen in a nice light. the only possible way it could be slightly ok is that if ADULTS agree they 100% do not want to choose who they want to get married to and let their parents choose, and both sides agree. samirah was a child and he decided to make her wedding life decided since the age of 12. and it was ok because amir was conventionally attractive and she loved him. WHAT IF SHE DIDNT. this literally is a dangerous arranged marriage. and arranged marriages are not ok, and mostly perpetuated by victims of it who will end up passing it down their family lines. my parents got an arranged marriage and I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM DISPLAY ANY SIGNS OF AFFECTION. arranged marriages are not a trope that your can turn around to be a quirky personality trait for your characters.
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i鈥檓 sorry that鈥檚 not how arranged marriages work. most likely if she said something her grandparents would have shut her done and continued with the marriage, as that is what you usually happens. do not portray the small amount of consented,聽鈥榟appy鈥 arranged marriages as the majority. it is a huge problem that many desi/middle eastern cultures are trying to erase. even on top of that he writes situations where she鈥檚 going to be in trouble for acting up and聽鈥榡eopardizing the marriage agreement鈥 and that her grandparents think she鈥檚聽鈥榣ucky that she could get the fadlan family to agree to marry their son to her鈥. these statements are often used in forced and dangerous marriages, so don鈥檛 try and justify your actions. if you wanted to show traditional customs in a positive light, there are so many richer parts of samirah鈥檚 culture you could鈥檝e focused on and you chose arranged marriage. 馃樆 all you鈥檝e done is given parents and authority figures a westernized resource to justify arranged and forced marriages, especially with the minimal explanation on how the marriage isn鈥檛 forced in the actual books. and yes, your books do condone child marriage samirah is clearly deemed into this marriage ever since the young age of 12. she lived her life knowing she would marry amir. no one has only one crush throughout their life. imagine how she would鈥檝e grown up. sorry you only consider opinions that align with those in you mind.
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i鈥檓 going to be honest i did like that one scene it was written nicely and accurately but the explanation he gives just ruins the entire thing. the way he just if this strikes you as islamophobic, or samirah as a hurtful, uhm no explanation i just disagree聽馃樈. the way you wrote her is a hurtful stereotype sorry you can鈥檛 see it.
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oops, you did. too bad you don鈥檛 want to do anything about it.
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why do you think people are painting you in a negative light, so many of your characters are written on hurtful and negative stereotypes. people aren鈥檛 painting it that way, you need to calm down w your ego and listen. dang i鈥檓 sorry your best is giving half-assed excuses and not actually doing anything. i鈥檓 even more sorry people are mad that a highly privileged author that has a lot of influence is done talking about his racist depictions of minorities in his books.聽
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dang must be lucky to take a break from the social media, imagine what all the minorities you wrote about have to go with everyday weather they are on social media or not. people aren鈥檛 bullying you this is valid criticism you refuse to listen to.
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fuck you
obviously these are my opinions do not judge every muslim based on what i鈥檝e said come to me if you have a problem with it
anyways support jewish, muslim, black, brown, asian, hispanic, indigenous, lgbtq+, disabled, and other minority authors and creators.
137 notesView notes
thebigqueer9 months ago
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Ok yes desi will but also desi Naomi Solace shattering every glass ceiling in the music industry while Apollo simps for her so hard
you鈥檙e fuckin right and also i really like your username!!
maybe that鈥檚 even one of the reasons he鈥檚 super attracted to her. she literally does NOT give a damn and gets what she wants. she will break down every barrier she sees if it means she gets to pursue a career that she truly loves.聽
i think also if we think about maybe how her family might see her... i mean, this obviously does not apply to every single south asian family out there and i鈥檓 definitely not trying to generalize anything, but i think a common thing that i see with my friends and myself is the fact that parents tend to pressure their kids to always be聽鈥渙n top of the class鈥 and like get them to pursue medical or engineering careers (i know my parents kind of fall into that category, albeit a little less extremely than other parents i鈥檝e heard about).聽
so, like, not only is she breaking barriers in Western society, but also with her parents. i鈥檓 kind of thinking about the fact that her parents may have wanted her to pursue, as said earlier, a career in the medical or engineering field, and for a long time she must have felt so repressed and silenced about her dreams of being a singer. her parents may have laughed at her, told her that it鈥檚 only a phase. she probably felt so deflated because of that. and not to mention, around the time that she was probably born (and, like, even now), she probably didn鈥檛 see that many south asian celebrities in her lifetime within the US and must have felt really discouraged. it was only pretty white women who really got known in the nation, especially in Texas.聽鈥渕aybe i really don鈥檛 have what it takes... who鈥檚 going to like an unimportant brown girl?鈥
obviously, she is such a great artist. and she totally wows her school, but uh oh... racism. she has a voice loud and bright and beautiful enough to probably get every fucking solo in the choir, but she鈥檚 shut down because some other people are聽鈥渕ore qualified鈥 or some shit idk.聽
she loses a lot of hope. but she also gets really angry, too. why is it that she鈥檚 supposed to be so unimportant to America? why does she have to be so overlooked? why does everyone assume that she only wants to get the best grades, that she鈥檚 some super smart human because she鈥檚 brown? she鈥檚 so done.
so she keeps pushing, keeps trying to make this career happen. she鈥檚 tired of feeling like she鈥檚 unimportant, like she鈥檚 forgotten. she probably auditions for some band (outside of school) one day and the members are so fucking wowed that there is no way they won鈥檛 include her.聽
that is her big break. they鈥檙e not a huge band, but i think this is where naomi feels in her element. she鈥檚 never been happier. fuck what her parents think, she was made to be an artist.
as she grows older, she keeps going with this career. she gets onto radios and when youtube starts up, she starts posting videos of herself singing. she gains fame. people love her. little girls - especially little girls of color - look up to her as an idol for what she鈥檚 doing.聽
but she still finds it hard to get fame, because there are still lots of other artists who get more fame. but that doesn鈥檛 stop her. she鈥檚 getting ahead in her career, and really, as long as she鈥檚 doing it, she鈥檚 happy.聽
after some time, music companies start noticing her. they鈥檙e probably a little hesitant to include her (cough racism and misogyny cough) but she gets her big break somewhere. she still feels like an outcast, since she鈥檚 one of the only desi artists there, but she hypes herself up because it means that she鈥檚 one of the few desi women to be getting a chance like this in the US. she wants to show other girls that they can do the same.聽
and apollo... well, he is in love with that. when he discovers her at some concert, he鈥檚 like聽鈥??? how have i never heard of her??? she鈥檚 so??? amazing?鈥 and when he gets a bit closer to her and learns about all that shit she had to go through, he鈥檚 probably really livid. he鈥檚 literally the god of music, and he鈥檚 so disappointed to realize that people in the mortal world are setting up barriers to prevent specific people from getting in.聽
but he鈥檚 so in love with her courage and persistence. because naomi solace is like awesome <3
and i also just realized that like. if apollo and naomi had a child, i think her parents would... not be that happy with her, either. and naomi probably feels even more upset about that.
i kind of personally headcanon that she actually has will a little young, like probably early 20s, and like... imagine what kind of hate she鈥檇 get from some fans just for having him a little early. and that just makes her angrier.
but she doesn鈥檛 let that issue in her career stop her from loving her son. she wanted him. fuck racism and misogyny, she鈥檚 going to have will, she鈥檚 going to love him, and she doesn鈥檛 give a damn about what others think about her. she鈥檚 done with everyone鈥檚 shit.
wowowoowowo i just. really feel for desi naomi solace. desi solaces. god i love her so much alksdjflsdfh
bruh i did NOT expect to get so deep into this LMAO my bad but you really unlocked something in me so thank you for indulging me because the desi Solace family is something that is making such a huge space in my heart <3333
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theprettysettercluba year ago
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hi can i get a matchup?? I鈥檓 a 5鈥4 girl who is very loud,,,like sometimes embarrassing loud but i can鈥檛 help it i鈥檓 a full out musical theatre kid :) i tend to be quiet around people i don鈥檛 know to well but once i get comfortable around you man i never stop talking. Depending on what i鈥檓 talking about i can have an endless amount of energy and i do pretty well in school despite my chronic procrastination. I love anything Disney and Harry Potter and i鈥檓 such an Astronomy nerd it鈥檚 unbelievable! I can play a couple of basic instruments and i LOVE singing! I do get really bad seasonal depression and tend to zone out in the middle of sentences sometimes. I鈥檓 super sarcastic and i have a bad potty mouth haha i LOVE scaring people!! My anxiety can cause some problems with me overthinking and having problems with confrontation which i鈥檓 working on 馃槜 anyways i鈥檓 sorry this is so long馃槚馃槚 but thank you so much !!!
@desi-studys鈥 you are an angel thank you for your patience,,, also you sound adorable? keep doing what you鈥檙e doing聽
ANYWAY, i match you with...
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oikawa tooru!
鉁 i didn鈥檛 think of him immediately when i was running through your prospective matches, but when he came to mind i was like oh but of course-- this bastard brat is perfect for you sdfkljf
鉁 you are,,, the loudest couple in the world. honestly, oikawa has big theatre kid energy (and if he hadn鈥檛 been so damn in love with volleyball i bet you the stage is where he would鈥檝e ended up). you two are always making so much damn noise and i think that鈥檚 delightful hhh
鉁 he loves hearing you ramble. did you ever see that post that was like聽鈥渋 love listening to my partner ramble about their niche interests because i know they鈥檒l listen to me ramble about my niche interests鈥? anyway, that鈥檚 you two,,,聽聽oikawa鈥檚 sitting there like聽鈥渁h yes, very interesting鈥 when you鈥檙e talking about astronomy because he knows he鈥檚 going to be able to ramble about aliens next asdlkj
鉁 he calls you a nerd all the time, but that鈥檚 just because he鈥檚 insecure about being one himself sdlkjssfd you two go on so many astronomy-themed dates! stargazing is his personal favourite (although he is terrible at identifying the constellations, no matter how hard he tries). he knows a surprising amount about the stars (and all the theories about the potential existence of aliens. no really, every theory. he knows them. even the fringe ones)聽
鉁 you two are so sarcastic with each other, oh my god,,, neither of you can say anything without getting roasted by the other. sometimes outsiders think you鈥檙e fighting but you never are. also, he kind of loves your potty mouth? for some reason he always smiles whenever you swear? it always ends up being a聽鈥渢hat鈥檚 my girl鈥 moment for whatever reason聽
鉁 OH oikawa is the best person to scare because he鈥檚 so reactive,,, he literally shrieks whenever you jump-scare him. he always gets really whiny afterwards, but his reactions are so priceless. he knows that he sort of makes himself a target, but he doesn鈥檛 really mind; he gets to see you laugh every time, after all聽
鉁 but, while your relationship is filled with light and levity, he鈥檚 also very clever and observant. so, he鈥檚 always aware of when you鈥檙e overthinking or experiencing some seasonal depression. and, you can bet that he鈥檚 going to do whatever he can to help you. whether that鈥檚 talking things over or simply spending time in your presence, he works hard to be attentive and present.聽
鉁 he still loves teasing you though, just because he鈥檚 Like That (and i personally feel that he can be a bit allergic to sincerity sometimes kldfsj) get ready to be constantly roasted for zoning out,,, but honestly he only does that because he thinks it鈥檚 quite cute but he just can鈥檛 bring himself to say that (probably because of his pride or something hh)聽 聽
鉁 you guys are so cute and yet so bratty and i love your dynamic so much,,, please put this guy in his place but also shower him with love because he deserves it聽
other matches!
鉁 ushijima wakatoshi: i am,,, a big fan of contrast. and this couple? chef鈥檚 kiss. loud theatre kid + stoic captain of the volleyball team? i love a good narrative foil ljdlkj OKAY but imagine him at your performances? watching with what appears to be the most stoic face in the world but you can tell he鈥檚 actually really excited? i also feel like he鈥檇 think you鈥檙e really funny? and everyone鈥檚 just floored because you made the ushijima wakatoshi chuckle. your power-- on another note, i feel like he鈥檇 be a really good listener, even if he doesn鈥檛 talk much himself. i can also see him being a good grounding force whenever you鈥檙e overthinking? he鈥檚 just so resolute and driven that he鈥檚 surprisingly comforting? if that makes sense?聽
鉁燼zumane asahi: just like ushijima, i love the contrast? asahi is so soft and introverted and lowkey, while you鈥檙e much louder and seem like a lot of fun! not that asahi doesn鈥檛 seem like a fun person or anything, but hopefully you know what i鈥檓 getting at dfjssld ANYWAY he loves listening to you ramble, and he absolutely adores your singing voice! he鈥檒l be blushing like a fool when he admits it, but he loves it when you sing him to sleep,,, he just likes your voice a lot. also, you鈥檙e both anxious and have issues with overthinking, so you鈥檇 be very understanding of each other鈥檚 struggles. and honestly, he鈥檚 super grateful for that? OH OH and disney marathons are definitely a consistent date night for you guys,,, asahi gives off BIG disney lover energy and nothing can change my mind--聽
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ainomicaa year ago
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Adam/Hozier anon: My dad and your mom sound like they would agree with each other and mutually roll their eyes at our taste in "unsuitable" men. Lol Even though my Blue-Collar Southern Dad came of age in 1970s, he was always pretty straight-laced beyond going bar-hopping. He barely knew the names of the classic rock bands and he wasn't ever into the artsy scene. So yeah, he doesn't understand why I like guys that are long-haired, chaotic, artist types? Lmfao
Oh yeah, 1970s was a wild era but a lot of people still clung to established order of the day( where else would actual office workers come from if everyone is experimenting with psychedelics ??LOL) . My mother and my father are sorta same. They were from poor family from bumfuck nowhere who were suddenly thrust into culture and education thanks to dad鈥檚 place transferring job and overall urban postings . So straightlaced desi life is all they get .聽
Hozier and Driver鈥檚 shaggy hair would not be聽鈥減roper鈥 at all in their mind LMAO. Indian middle class is basically characterized by aggrandizing of sober( literally. No bragging of being social drinker here. My cousins sneak alcohol in parties to get secretly drunk LMAO) , humble and kind image .聽 Artistry is fine to them. We are Bengalis and unlike a lot of other Indian states, Bengali people have affinity for music, painting and dramatics and think a respectable career can be made out of it if one is very talented or at least its a respectable, cultured hobby to teach kids on top of their heaping helping of school tutions! ( i never had to do it since i was never in my home state and imagine maintaining a singing coaching when you don鈥檛 stay in a place for more than 2 or 3 years LMAO. My mom did wanted to get me a tutor since she couldn鈥檛 because her family was poor. Oh well! i can draw sorta! so she is happy LOL)聽
I bet if Driver again cut his hair Indian Military post academy style, my mom would like him hehehehe ( she DOES NOT like the Academy buzz cut either, says everyone looks semi bald with no taste!) . If he actually grew a mustache like Don Quotixe style, she would like him even more ( i swear to god he was looking more Indian than me in that bloody movie)聽
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futuremitblogger-take22 years ago
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Growth and Pain
I remember the way it felt being on the escalator on my way up from Kendall station on December 15th, 2017. As my new home came into view, my heart began to shift in my chest and my stomach began to tighten. It was as if my torso was telling me, 鈥淪tand up straight, you鈥檙e an MIT student now.鈥
Less than 24 hours before, I had opened up my acceptance letter. A compilation of my mother鈥檚 proud tears and my friends鈥 excited screams played back in my head now as I made my way up to ground level. I felt nervous and excited, amazed yet terrified. It was like having a crush, except that they鈥檇 already agreed to spend four years with me.
I was on my way to visit my friend Habiba, a member of the class of 2020 who had gone to my high school and encouraged me to apply to MIT. She was so proud to hear that I鈥檇 been admitted that she immediately invited me to come visit her on campus. I lived only an hour away from MIT, so I took the train over the next day. I had been to MIT many times before, but this time was different. This time, I tried to remember the names of buildings and streets so I鈥檇 be ready to navigate them in the coming fall. I asked Habiba which professors she liked and which classes she recommend. I remember being really happy that day. MIT felt like home. I felt ready.
(The only picture I can find of me and Habiba. I don鈥檛 know what鈥檚 going on with the banana or why I鈥檓 so upset about it)
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I was not ready.
I arrived on campus in late August grinning ear-to-ear. Sure, MIT was hard, but I loved challenges. Everything would be fine.
Everything was not fine.
I was on campus for all of four days before I failed my first exam, the chemistry ASE. This would be one of many Fs I鈥檇 receive in the coming year. When classes started, I suddenly became aware of the gap between my prior knowledge and that of my peers. I couldn鈥檛 integrate, which made the first physics problem set impossible for me, and everyone I worked with made me feel stupid for being caught up. This would become the case for almost all of my classes, and I鈥檇 spend most of my first month at MIT playing catch-up. Still, I could catch up. Things would get better.
Things did not get better.
I was driving my brothers to a restaurant one weekend so we could meet up with my parents and have dinner together as a family. On the way there, a driver cut left in front of me and we collided in an intersection, totaling both cars and minorly injuring us. Though I healed physically within a month, I鈥檇 spend the rest of the semester trying to get over the psychological trauma caused by the experience. This was when I found out that MIT is hard on a good day, but it鈥檚 damn near impossible on a bad day. The accident made it incredibly difficult for me to perform well academically. Luckily, I was in my freshman fall, so I was on Pass/No Record. Since I managed to (barely) pass all my classes, I came out of the semester relatively unscathed and glad I was able to go through that without worrying about grades. The hard part was over.
The hard part was not over.
In the spring, I finally started to get the hang of things. Most of my classes were going well and I felt ready to bounce back. Unfortunately, I wasn鈥檛 ready for what was to come.
I was in the penthouse of McCormick hall working on a problem set when I received the news. My grandmother had passed away. She was the first loved one I鈥檇 ever lost, so I didn鈥檛 know what to do except cry. Eventually, a friend of mine found me and helped me write emails to my professors explaining why I wouldn鈥檛 be turning in those problem sets. Over the next few weeks, I tried to balance school and grief. I barely passed a physics exam, skipped a few lectures when it was too hard to leave my room, and cried often.
The second time it happened, I was at a party. It had been just over a month since I lost my grandmother. My mother and I were at my friend鈥檚 bridal shower when I suddenly looked over at her and saw her crying. When I asked what鈥檚 wrong, she simply said my aunt鈥檚 name. I knew this aunt had been fighting against cancer, so I pushed for more information, hoping that maybe she鈥檇 been hospitalized or had a complication, but that there was still hope. But no, she had passed away.
And so began another round of balancing school with grief. Barely over a month after losing my grandmother, I found myself crying instead of studying yet again.
At this point, it is important to note that there are other important characters in this story: my biological family at home, and my MSA family at MIT. My families supported me through everything. My parents understood when my grades slipped. My MSA friends provided me with shoulders to cry on when I missed home, and helped me catch up on material when I missed class.
(A picture of a bunch of MSA member + some of my other friends at my birthday surprise. I love these nerds <3)
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Which brings me to the third time.
Aliza was incredible. She was smart, funny, kind, beautiful. She had the sort of smile that made you want to smile even when you were sad, just so she would see that she made you smile and smile again. She was steadfast in everything she believed yet understanding of the beliefs of others. She loved history. She was a computer science queen. She cared about her family and Pakistani culture more than anyone else I鈥檇 ever met. She was a nerd, but like a cool nerd. She was one of the best friends I have ever had the privilege of having.
(One of my favorite pictures of Aliza. Allah yarhamha (God have mercy on her))
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Shortly after going home for the summer post-finals, Aliza passed away in a car accident involving a drunk driver. I and some other MSA members were still on campus when we heard the news, so we rushed to her home state of New Jersey for her funeral.
I cannot explain what it feels like to bury your best friend, so I鈥檓 not going to try. Instead, I鈥檓 going to fast forward to now.
Samar is in Palestine. I鈥檓 in Italy. Another wave of grief will undoubtedly hit us when we go back to MIT in the fall. For now, we try to let the distance keep us from being overtaken by pain. Haniya and Layal are on campus. Instead of physical distance, it seems like they鈥檝e turned towards business. Their schedules seem full, and I can imagine why; free time is the worst. Imane is harder to read, but she鈥檚 strong. Jeba takes care of us, but I wonder if she鈥檚 still hurting too. Sarah and I just went to London together and she said Aliza would鈥檝e loved all the desi shops we found.
All of this was a really long way of saying that this has been an incredibly difficult year. Before I got to MIT, I was a child (literally, I was 17) who had never dealt with loss or heartbreak. I spent most of this year wishing I could go back, wishing I could be the wide-eyed, eager girl that visited MIT the day after being admitted as if 8 more months was too long to wait.
But this has also been an incredibly rewarding year. Before I got to MIT, I had never belonged to a community in the way that I belong to MIT and the MSA. I had never had a family that wasn鈥檛 blood. I had never cried on shoulders I鈥檇 only known for a few months. I had never loved people so much that losing them could hurt like this. I hadn鈥檛 even ever taken an integral.
I鈥檝e grown during my time at MIT in ways I didn鈥檛 think possible. I feel more connected to my faith, my family, and my friends than ever before. I am the strongest I have ever been despite being broken. I am the smartest I have ever been despite receiving grades I thought would get me kicked out of MIT. This isn鈥檛 to say that failing exams or being in an accident or losing loved ones wasn鈥檛 hard; hell, it鈥檚 *still* hard, especially the latter. All I鈥檓 saying is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Actually, no. I鈥檓 saying that there are holes in the roof of the tunnel, because the tunnel doesn鈥檛 ever end. You never finish struggling, but sometimes you look up and the ceiling of the tunnel is missing and the sun shines through, letting light in where you thought it could never go. Inevitably, you鈥檒l end up back in the darkness. Such is the nature of life. But there will also be more holes in roof later on. Maybe you can even poke a few holes in the roof yourself. And maybe you鈥檒l find friends and family who want to help. At first, you鈥檒l feel bad for bringing them into your darkness, but they鈥檒l be equipped with spears, and they鈥檒l stab the ceiling with you until the light is back.
Alhamdulillah (Thank God) for all the people in my life who fight the darkness with me. They鈥檙e the reason this story is about growth instead of destruction.
- In response to the prompt, 鈥淗ow have you grown in your time at MIT? How are you different from the person you were when you hit submit?鈥 (Chaos)
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buzzdixonwriter3 years ago
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Chillin鈥 With Netflix (2018 edition)
LOST IN SPACE
Really well done, family friendly space opera.聽聽Top notch production values, good / smart writing, superlative cast.
And despite all this, it couldn鈥檛 keep my attention past episode 4.
I put the blame on me, not this new series by writers Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless.聽聽
As a preteen, I was in the prime target audience for the original Lost In Space back in the mid-1960s, and that series -- despite its wildly varying tone -- created an iconic show that, try as they might, every subsequent re-make struggles to overcome.
Seriously, it鈥檚 like trying to remake I Love Lucy only without Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, and William Frawley.
Yeah, it can be done, but why bother?聽聽Use that talent and energy to do something in the same vein but different.
That being said, I deny no one their pleasure.聽聽If you haven鈥檛 seen / loved the original, try this version; you might very well like it.
. . .
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE
Excellent production / writing / cast / performances.
I started out really liking it.
That enthusiasm faded.
I ended up enjoying this new retelling of The Haunting Of Hill House but came away feeling it fell short of 1963鈥檚 The Haunting, the first and still best adaptation of Shirley Jackson鈥檚 classic ghost story.
First off, a definition of terms (which will explain my enthusiasm fade):聽聽In order to work, a ghost story must take place in the audience鈥檚 head.
That is to say, the reader / viewer must be left with two equally possibly yet mutually exclusive possibilities:聽聽There are such things as ghost, or the haunting is purely psychological in the mind/s of the character/s.
Even in stories such as the original novel or the 1963 film where the possibility is presented that at least one of the characters is mentally unstable and is either imagining / causing the manifestations, the book / movie / series must never come down concretely in either camp.
To make it purely psychological turns it into a drama about mental illness, the make it supernatural moves it from the realm of 鈥済host story鈥 into 鈥渕onster movie鈥 where the monster happens to be a ghost.
A ghost story doesn鈥檛 have to be scary, simply鈥aunting.聽聽Portrait Of Jenny is a bitter-sweet romance that despite a lack of spookiness remains a bona fide ghost story.
(Ghost comedies such as Topper, Blythe Spirit, Ghost Busters, etc. are a different genre entirely akin to leprechaun / alien comedies where a fantastic being disrupts the lives of the human protagonists.)
This version works well, even though it doesn鈥檛 maintain the high level it starts with.聽聽The family dynamics are well done, the performances excellent.
For the first couple of episodes the series tries to walk the line, raising the possibility and eventually confirming that mental illness runs through the family that moved into Hill House, but the moment the ghosts begin manifesting themselves, it paradoxically stops being a ghost story and becomes a booga-booga story).聽聽Virtuosity for the sake of virtuosity also works against the production, occasionally dragging audiences out of the story to admire how clever the film makers are.
It also gets a little too convoluted and overly melodramatic towards the end, however (ghost stories work best at their simplicity.
And it is not an upbeat ending but a really horrific one as the family in question literally consumes itself.聽聽
This version inhabits a godless universe, and the apparent 鈥済ood鈥 ending is really a terrible one of eternal damnation (albeit not in the Christian sense).
I recognize and appreciate the level of craftsmanship that went into this, and recommend it to people who like scary stories.
But it ain鈥檛 what I鈥檇 call a ghost story, and it sure ain鈥檛 what Jackson would call one, either.
. . .
SHE-RA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER
I'm not the target audience for She-Ra in either incarnation.
That being said, I watched episodes 1-3 and 12-13.
It looks good to me.聽聽The story was familiar, but like old B-Westerns it's the kind of genre where familiarity breeds affection, so no complaints there.
Pacing seemed slow, but the design and animation was good, voices top notch. Clearly a heavy anime influence.
Really liked the wide range of physical types and acknowledgement of LGBT characters. Lots of fun with the various interpersonal relationships and characterizations, especially Swift Wind, the smartass flying unicorn.
They did a really good job with this show and the characters seemed more like real teens than the previous incarnation.
. . .
THE BALLAD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS
Well, this one I can recommend whole heartedly and without reservation.聽聽
Joel and Ethan Coen have shown a remarkable penchant for period films and a strong affinity for Westerns in the past, and this anthology film offers a dazzling grab bag of good / off beat stories that range from the ridiculous to the realistic, though a couple of them are Westerns by location only as they don鈥檛 really rely on any of the themes that define the Western genre.聽
The stories are:
鈥淭he Ballad Of Buster Scruggs鈥 -- a hilarious send up of old Hollywood Western clich茅s starting with the quintessential sing cowboy trope and spiraling into full bore craziness from there.
鈥淣ear Algodones鈥 -- a would-be bank robber has a really bad day.聽聽Despite its dazzling editorial style, one of the more conventional stories -- and yet it manages to evoke both classic Buddhism, the crucifixion, and the ultimate sardonic joke all in the last 30 seconds.
鈥淢eal Ticket鈥 -- a Twilight Zone-ish story about a backwoods impresario and his limbless performer, told almost entirely silently except for quotes from poems and dramatic works and the occasional song.聽聽While it makes good use of its Western locale, there鈥檚 really nothing in the story to tie it to the West; it could just as easily occur on a Mississippi riverboat, the back alleys of White Chapel, or the slums of Mumbai.
鈥淎ll Gold Canyon鈥 -- based on a story by Jack London, it鈥檚 a look at how hard and demanding a prospector鈥檚 life could be (with a virtually unrecognizable Tom Waits as the grizzled old prospector).聽聽The Coen Brothers use their location to the fullest advantage, recreating the feel of what such land must have felt like before the first settlers moved in.
鈥淭he Gal Who Got Rattled鈥 -- the longest, most realistic, and most bitter-sweet of the stories, set on a wagon train heading to Oregon, and focusing on a young woman who is definitely not the sort who should be making such a trip.聽聽While we can look back from our safe vantage point in the 21stcentury and recognize the Indian Wars were the direct result of rapacious land grabbing by Western settlers, this story does an excellent job of showing just how terrifying it would be to sit on the receiving end of a tribal attack.聽聽The ending is a morally complex one, well worth pondering, and especially ambiguous given the nature of the story鈥檚 framing element.
鈥淭he Mortal Remains鈥 -- weakest of the stories, but salvaged by strong performances.聽聽Another Twilight Zone style story, and if you didn鈥檛 guess the ending by the one minute mark I鈥檝e got a bridge in Florida made of solid gold bricks I鈥檇 like to sell you.
. . .
AMERICAN VANDAL
Yowza!聽聽This is one of the best series I鈥檝e ever seen, and it鈥檚 perfect in damn near every way.
On the surface it鈥檚 a parody of various true crime documentary series, especially Netflix鈥 own Making A Murderer.聽聽It鈥檚 told from the point of view of two students in their high school鈥檚 audio-visual club who make a documentary about an act of vandalism directed at the school鈥檚 teachers and the student who is blamed for it.
Of course, as they investigate, they turn up evidence that the accused student did not commit the vandalism, and in their pursuit of the truth uncover several more secrets on their way to the big reveal.
At first blush, the makings of a solid show.
But what co-creators Tony Yacenda and Dan Perrault manage to pull off with this is nothing short of astounding, a fun parody of a genre that raises interesting questions about both the genre they鈥檙e parodying and the issue of truth and guilt, while on top of that adding an incredibly complex yet easy to follow overlay of conflicting characters and emotions.
They get every single detail right, and even seemingly throw away lines / scenes / characters get fleshed out in amazing and unexpected ways (for example, one extremely minor character, with no significant dialog, who appears only briefly on camera as comic relief in one or two early episodes is later revealed to be severely alcoholic, and in recalling his earlier appearances, one realizes the character must be suffering through a genuinely hellish existence).
Dylan, the accused student, starts out as a character of fun and amusement, a high school goofball of Spicoli proportions, only to come to a sad and ultimately terrifying end as he realizes just how dumb and dead-end his life is.
I cannot praise thise series enough.聽聽Very rarely will I look at someone else鈥檚 work and say 鈥淚 wish I had done that.鈥澛燗merican Vandal is one of the rare exceptions.
The series has two seasons, the first involving Dylan and the vandalism of the teachers鈥 cars, the second involving a food poisoning incident at a private school the original two students are invited to investigate.聽聽Season two is very strong but lacks 鈥渢he shock of the new鈥 that season one provided; it鈥檚 high quality and entertaining, but not as compelling as the original.
. . .
漏 Buzz Dixon
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aromaticcedarwood5 months ago
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Watching more Indian movies like Haseen Dillruba and Skater Girl I'm just reminded of how easily abuse is pervaded through Desi society. We really can't trust anyone. The trope of a good guy being labelled as such just because he's passive and not physically abusive, still dominating and still expecting service. The severe limitations on the range of activities and accepted Societal standards and image for women. The way the government literally justified seizing people who are not under arrest and then beating them to a pulp to get confessions out before releasing them because they're citizens. Like it's all so disgusting and I never ever want to go back to a reality where that exists and life is like that for me again but I'm so so scared I'm going to wake up one day and find the people I trust turn into monsters and just beat me whenever they want and justify again. Using mistakes or personal feelings as reasons to moralize or justify the abuse, making sure that the word abuse isn't even used and all the behavior is normalized and rationalized and enabled by everyone so you can't even speak about it to yourself much less others, acting as if personhood is negotiable, as if your feelings or personality has a morality latched onto it that they can judge and harm you with.
It's horrific just horrific and I don't want to ever be chained to a person again. Feel like these tears are burning toxic tracks through my cheeks bc they're caustic.
I think what I'm most scared about is years going down the line and telling him the reason it's not working out is because I loved who he was, not who he is. Or us getting in a fight and him refusing to reach across and speak anyway and choose to communicate and keep trying even when there's no hope. Or him just turning into a monster and all the love is a figment of my imagination, an expectation, a hope, and a silly belief that never protected me.
Despite the overwhelming feeling of home and safety and peace I feel about him, I have the most worrisome suspicion that he won't be enough for me. In my time at school I've met people who challenge me, who make me grow and think, who are critical analyzers and who keep me on my toes, keep me sharp and quick. They're not just at my level they make me improve and wonder if they're above my level. I strive to get further in my understanding of the world and relationships. I'm worried that he's not going to be enough for me. Maybe as kids the simplicity of respect, hard work, and equality and love worked, but now I need more than that. I need to be intellectually and physically and emotionally matched and so much more. I don't know if he could emotionally match me and give me that maturity I need. I know I just spoke with him once but it worries me that he didn't even hold me accountable for what I did at all, but just buried how he felt instead. It worries me. What if he turns out to be one of those complacent nice guys who ends up punishing me later for unexpressed feelings of resentment that they just never communicate but allow to grow instead? What if he resents me for being a more forceful personality than him? So many guys did that to me growing up. Why doesn't he remind me of any of the people I've been attracted to in the past few years? I mean, his actions do, but his personality doesn't. There's nothing sharp or mean or forceful about him, which I used to love but ever since recovery I've needed someone a bit more assertive or at least as assertive as me. I have enough softness within me now. I've balanced myself out. I don't know if he has. Could we have those conversations? What if I'm just holding onto old love? What if all we have now is lukewarm and an effort to force something that has passed and faded? Why did I get pulled to him so sharply this year? Am I just being a little too optimistic?
If seeing him in person doesn't change these doubts then I'll know he's not the one for me, despite everything. And despite what I want it to be. Where is the chemistry that we usually have? There's emotion, there's love and safety and peace, but I don't feel that same... Well I guess romantic love has to be rebuilt and we're getting to know each other again. But I don't want to force anything. If I see him in person and I don't feel it, that pull, then I'll know it's not right for me. Idk.
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Text
California State of Mind
I grew up in Meadowview, which was kind of a melting pot of a neighborhood, in a melting pot of a state. My first grade class was filled with every ethnicity you can imagine. White, Asian, Black, Indian, Mexican, and a few islanders. I say islanders because they ran the gambit from Hawaiian to Samoan to Tongan to Fijian and even a few Haitians We also had a couple Portuguese in there, too. Like, Meadowview had a surprisingly large Portuguese community. Looking back, that sh*t is kind of staggering how many of them there were. I didn't notice as a kid because who cares but, looking back as an adult, it was really a substantial amount. But this crop of kids, that first grade class, would be people i would call peers for the next twelve years of my life. Some of them, even more so. My best friend from grade school was an Asian kid named Peter. We used to larp out in the football field during recess and wanted to make games together. How big of a geek was I that I wanted to make video games with my best friend at eight years old? I used to go to his house and play DnD with him. Our other friend, Trevero, has a crush on Pete's older sister. It was weird. This was LONG before i met B, which is weird because he literally went to the elementary school a street over. It's odd how segregated we are as kids until we're not. It's like we were exposed to the world in incremental stages, which leads me to the next step in my exposure; The seventh grade.
When i got to seventh grade, i went to a different middle school than most of my classmates. I said farewell to these kids i spent my entire life with up to that point, and got bused to the rich middle school because the one in my neighborhood had a bad reputation. Surprisingly, that didn't matter because i was still put in remedial classes anyway. When i left grade school, i was doing algebra. Everyone thought this particular middle school would facilitate that but, because i bused in from the ghetto, they did not. It was mad surreal doing sh*t i had already mastered in, like, the second grade, because motherf*ckers thought less of me. For living in a poorer neighborhood. Still, Sam Brannan was good to me. I met a lot of dope motherf*ckers that i still talk to today. More to the point, this school as chock full of Asian kids. Like, SO many, man. It was insane how many Asians were in this joint. I mean, there were other kids, of course, but the vast majority of that school's student body was definitely Asian. Coming from my grade school where they were the minority, seeing this many Asian kids was captivating. I made friends with a lot of people that I didn't think i would ever have the opportunity to do so with, and it went a long way for broadening my already healthy cultural horizons. I was introduced to a plethora of Asian cuisine and philosophy. I met my first Buddhist there which sparked my interest in learning about the world's religions, not just Christianity. I didn't return to Brannan for my 8th grade year though. That school was kind of whack for the scholastic aspects. Instead, I went to Goethe, the school no one wanted me to go to in the first place.
Goethe was interesting. I met a lot of my oldest friends there. I met Kellen there. I met my first real crush, Melisandra, there. I met B there. That motherf*cker ended up being family and I miss him everyday. Tamika, David, Jay, Brittney, Shameka, Chris, and Alaina. I mean, not s much Alaina. She was my Dad's best friend's niece so I kind of knew her from other things. I met a chick named Sparkle and another one named Star. I met a neighborhood bicycle name Tawana, i think. A friend of mine from that first grade class knocked her up that year. I met my first chola named Anneletta who tried to stab a b*tch in my first period history class. Mr. Varner, the teacher, straight up kicked the victim out into the wild to fend for herself when she ran into our class for help. Coldest sh*t, ever! That was wild. I went to my first school dance there and ended up slow grinding with my homey's ex. That was fun and later, real problematic. I came back to a school where the majority of kids were once again, black, where i knew so many people and was still able to meet so many more. There were definitively more of us but the ethnic mix was still pretty eclectic. So many races, so much cultural melding. And then i got to high school. That sh*t was wild.
I went to, statistically, the best high school in South Sacramento. All those overachieving Asian kids from Sam Brannan? They went to my high school. Everyone from 21st street up to Freeport, the f*cking ghetto i grew up in, went to my high school. That was basically everyone from my elementary and middle schools, all in one place. These two, independent worlds that i lived in, collided for the first time, and it was a little overwhelming at first. Mostly because the high school, Kennedy, wasn't just MY schools. Cats that I met when I stayed in G Parkway for that year, motherf*ckers I met when I went to the worst school ever, Parkway Elementary, found there way to my high school. So many people i didn't know, went to this school. Cats that came from super affluent areas. Motherf*ckers from straight up hoods. All of these people, so many different cultures and ethnicities, so many different financial and living situations, all trying to figure out who they are, who they are going to be, all at once; It was an experience. Looking back, it was actually kind of intense. Beautiful, but intense. Kennedy, for me, and I can only speak from my personal experience here, was like that first grade class but blown up to, like, thousands of kids, not just the thirty-three I started school with. I loved that part of it. Not so much the actual schooling. I stopped actually learning sh*t in class when I was in, like, the third grade. One I had the fundamental sh*t, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, everything else was that an exercise in fact memorization. That's all the US education system is, memorizing mundane facts or tasks, and then regurgitating them on tests for grades. School is dumb.
The first time i saw a complete lack of diversity, was my first day of college. That was the whitest day of school i ever had in my entire life. It was surreal. I had just the last two decades surrounded by a rainbow of color, of culture, of perspective, and now it's all milky white. That was the first day that i really understood, on tangible, conscious level, what it meant to be white and privileged. You hear all of the statistic and the numbers about how minorities don't make it to higher education, how hard it is for black kids in particular, to make it out of high school without a rap sheet or even f*cking alive, but to see it in real time like that? To experience that sh*t on your first day of real school? It's mad disheartening. Of course there was a semblance of diversity on my college campus, it is a college, but i knew i was definitely a minority at that point. I knew for a fact that there was less people who looked like me, at this level, and it kind of hurt. It hurt even more as i got older and learned that was the norm, not the exception. I mean, you always know. I can only speak for black folks, but you're taught at an early age that you, as a colored person, are an endangered species in the US. That you have to be twice as good at everything just to get half of what my white friends would have. But to see it as an adult? To actually witness that sh*t firsthand? There's no amount of preparation that can prepare you for that rude awakening. Reality hits you like a ton of bricks once you finally get outside of that social bubble you grew up within. And it gets worse the farther away from the scholastic world you get. The last job I held had maybe ten black people there at any one time. Ten. Realistically, less than that. Usually around five. I have held about seven jobs in my life and at three of them, I was the only black dude. That's my reality.
I said all of that to give perspective on this: I've never not been surrounded by diversity until i was grown. The formative years of my life were spent exposed to almost every major culture and race of the world. I didn't grow up with a lot of white kids in my neighborhood but they were there. I was able to get their perspective, to understand what it was like to be white in a world of color. I was able to see that the ones who lived with us, were just like us. I didn't grow up segregated in our own, little, Negro areas, I grew up in a cornucopia of different people. The crew i rolled with in high school was full of black kids, sure, but these were cats I've known since i was, like, twelve. We were tight going nto Kennedy but that doesn't mean were weren't inclusive when we got there. We never discriminated against anyone, ever. We made friends with everyone. Our locker was opened to anybody who was chill and could play dominoes. Hell, there was this little Asian kid that Bryan brought once and he just never went away. Motherf*cker never talked but dude was chill as f*ck. Cats would give him sh*t but that stopped when he started posting up with us. That's the energy of California. That's the energy i learned growing up. That's the energy i carry to this day.
My best friend was an Asian kid until i got to the tenth grade where B and i shared that English class and got super tight. The person i was closest with in seventh grade, was a Japanese girl that i met in PE named Jamie Hom. My first, real, girlfriend was named Maristella Cordova and she was Brazilian. The first girl i ever danced with in eighth grade, Tina, was Hmong. I played football with all of the giant Samoans and Magic with the nerdy Asian kids. I was in BSU and a ghost member of the Anime club. My kid sister is Desi, one of my closest friends is Puerto Rican, my baby sister is white, and my chick is Mexican. I can't fathom what it's like to not have that diverse perspective but, statistically, my experience is rare as f*ck. The experiences my friends and i shared growing up here, in California, are rare as f*ck. Our diversity isn't the norm, it's the exception. There are more places like Idaho, where ninety-three percent of that population is white, than there are places like California. Its not that we're super liberal, it's that we don't exist in an entitled echo chamber. We don't have xenophobia because we were constantly surrounded by the xenos. We have so many different voices, so many different perspectives, that we can't help but be progressive. It takes a diverse perspective to think forward and we have diversity in spades out here. If the majority of the people who live here, grew up like i did, then of course we'd be the most progressive state in the union. How can we not be?
I don't have a point of reference for alienating the Other. We were all Others. I grew up in a neighborhood of Others. I went to school with a peer group of Others. My family is made up of Others. Being different, being the Other, has never mattered to me. It doesn't matter, period. People are people, regardless of race, creed, or sexuality. That's why California is different. We celebrate that diversity here. We make it a point to use our differences as strengths, always have. That's why i don't understand all of that MAGA sh*t. I mean, go off with your ignorance but it doesn't matter. You can't make America great again because you've conflated whiteness for greatness and there are too many people with melanin for that to ever be a thing again. You can march and scream and gerrymander and voter suppress and poll watch and whatever else but it's all for not. There are more of us than there are of you. There re more people like me, who grew up like me, than there are of you, here, in California. Rail against the Others all you want. Vilify those who champion diversity. Try and force your witness on these who aren't white. Heep on with that wild, embarrassing ignorant sh*t. I'm just going to be over here, with my Desi sister, my Mexican lady, and black homeys, laughing at your narrow ass life choices. How sad is it people choose to deny themselves so much rich dopeness and shine because of some misplaced idea of supremacy? Segregation is stagnation, man. That sh*t is how you become irrelevant. That sh*t is how you go extinct.
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smokeybranda year ago
Text
California State of Mind
I grew up in Meadowview, which was kind of a melting pot of a neighborhood, in a melting pot of a state. My first grade class was filled with every ethnicity you can imagine. White, Asian, Black, Indian, Mexican, and a few islanders. I say islanders because they ran the gambit from Hawaiian to Samoan to Tongan to Fijian and even a few Haitians We also had a couple Portuguese in there, too. Like, Meadowview had a surprisingly large Portuguese community. Looking back, that sh*t is kind of staggering how many of them there were. I didn't notice as a kid because who cares but, looking back as an adult, it was really a substantial amount. But this crop of kids, that first grade class, would be people i would call peers for the next twelve years of my life. Some of them, even more so. My best friend from grade school was an Asian kid named Peter. We used to larp out in the football field during recess and wanted to make games together. How big of a geek was I that I wanted to make video games with my best friend at eight years old? I used to go to his house and play DnD with him. Our other friend, Trevero, has a crush on Pete's older sister. It was weird. This was LONG before i met B, which is weird because he literally went to the elementary school a street over. It's odd how segregated we are as kids until we're not. It's like we were exposed to the world in incremental stages, which leads me to the next step in my exposure; The seventh grade.
When i got to seventh grade, i went to a different middle school than most of my classmates. I said farewell to these kids i spent my entire life with up to that point, and got bused to the rich middle school because the one in my neighborhood had a bad reputation. Surprisingly, that didn't matter because i was still put in remedial classes anyway. When i left grade school, i was doing algebra. Everyone thought this particular middle school would facilitate that but, because i bused in from the ghetto, they did not. It was mad surreal doing sh*t i had already mastered in, like, the second grade, because motherf*ckers thought less of me. For living in a poorer neighborhood. Still, Sam Brannan was good to me. I met a lot of dope motherf*ckers that i still talk to today. More to the point, this school as chock full of Asian kids. Like, SO many, man. It was insane how many Asians were in this joint. I mean, there were other kids, of course, but the vast majority of that school's student body was definitely Asian. Coming from my grade school where they were the minority, seeing this many Asian kids was captivating. I made friends with a lot of people that I didn't think i would ever have the opportunity to do so with, and it went a long way for broadening my already healthy cultural horizons. I was introduced to a plethora of Asian cuisine and philosophy. I met my first Buddhist there which sparked my interest in learning about the world's religions, not just Christianity. I didn't return to Brannan for my 8th grade year though. That school was kind of whack for the scholastic aspects. Instead, I went to Goethe, the school no one wanted me to go to in the first place.
Goethe was interesting. I met a lot of my oldest friends there. I met Kellen there. I met my first real crush, Melisandra, there. I met B there. That motherf*cker ended up being family and I miss him everyday. Tamika, David, Jay, Brittney, Shameka, Chris, and Alaina. I mean, not s much Alaina. She was my Dad's best friend's niece so I kind of knew her from other things. I met a chick named Sparkle and another one named Star. I met a neighborhood bicycle name Tawana, i think. A friend of mine from that first grade class knocked her up that year. I met my first chola named Anneletta who tried to stab a b*tch in my first period history class. Mr. Varner, the teacher, straight up kicked the victim out into the wild to fend for herself when she ran into our class for help. Coldest sh*t, ever! That was wild. I went to my first school dance there and ended up slow grinding with my homey's ex. That was fun and later, real problematic. I came back to a school where the majority of kids were once again, black, where i knew so many people and was still able to meet so many more. There were definitively more of us but the ethnic mix was still pretty eclectic. So many races, so much cultural melding. And then i got to high school. That sh*t was wild.
I went to, statistically, the best high school in South Sacramento. All those overachieving Asian kids from Sam Brannan? They went to my high school. Everyone from 21st street up to Freeport, the f*cking ghetto i grew up in, went to my high school. That was basically everyone from my elementary and middle schools, all in one place. These two, independent worlds that i lived in, collided for the first time, and it was a little overwhelming at first. Mostly because the high school, Kennedy, wasn't just MY schools. Cats that I met when I stayed in G Parkway for that year, motherf*ckers I met when I went to the worst school ever, Parkway Elementary, found there way to my high school. So many people i didn't know, went to this school. Cats that came from super affluent areas. Motherf*ckers from straight up hoods. All of these people, so many different cultures and ethnicities, so many different financial and living situations, all trying to figure out who they are, who they are going to be, all at once; It was an experience. Looking back, it was actually kind of intense. Beautiful, but intense. Kennedy, for me, and I can only speak from my personal experience here, was like that first grade class but blown up to, like, thousands of kids, not just the thirty-three I started school with. I loved that part of it. Not so much the actual schooling. I stopped actually learning sh*t in class when I was in, like, the third grade. One I had the fundamental sh*t, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, everything else was that an exercise in fact memorization. That's all the US education system is, memorizing mundane facts or tasks, and then regurgitating them on tests for grades. School is dumb.
The first time i saw a complete lack of diversity, was my first day of college. That was the whitest day of school i ever had in my entire life. It was surreal. I had just the last two decades surrounded by a rainbow of color, of culture, of perspective, and now it's all milky white. That was the first day that i really understood, on tangible, conscious level, what it meant to be white and privileged. You hear all of the statistic and the numbers about how minorities don't make it to higher education, how hard it is for black kids in particular, to make it out of high school without a rap sheet or even f*cking alive, but to see it in real time like that? To experience that sh*t on your first day of real school? It's mad disheartening. Of course there was a semblance of diversity on my college campus, it is a college, but i knew i was definitely a minority at that point. I knew for a fact that there was less people who looked like me, at this level, and it kind of hurt. It hurt even more as i got older and learned that was the norm, not the exception. I mean, you always know. I can only speak for black folks, but you're taught at an early age that you, as a colored person, are an endangered species in the US. That you have to be twice as good at everything just to get half of what my white friends would have. But to see it as an adult? To actually witness that sh*t firsthand? There's no amount of preparation that can prepare you for that rude awakening. Reality hits you like a ton of bricks once you finally get outside of that social bubble you grew up within. And it gets worse the farther away from the scholastic world you get. The last job I held had maybe ten black people there at any one time. Ten. Realistically, less than that. Usually around five. I have held about seven jobs in my life and at three of them, I was the only black dude. That's my reality.
I said all of that to give perspective on this: I've never not been surrounded by diversity until i was grown. The formative years of my life were spent exposed to almost every major culture and race of the world. I didn't grow up with a lot of white kids in my neighborhood but they were there. I was able to get their perspective, to understand what it was like to be white in a world of color. I was able to see that the ones who lived with us, were just like us. I didn't grow up segregated in our own, little, Negro areas, I grew up in a cornucopia of different people. The crew i rolled with in high school was full of black kids, sure, but these were cats I've known since i was, like, twelve. We were tight going nto Kennedy but that doesn't mean were weren't inclusive when we got there. We never discriminated against anyone, ever. We made friends with everyone. Our locker was opened to anybody who was chill and could play dominoes. Hell, there was this little Asian kid that Bryan brought once and he just never went away. Motherf*cker never talked but dude was chill as f*ck. Cats would give him sh*t but that stopped when he started posting up with us. That's the energy of California. That's the energy i learned growing up. That's the energy i carry to this day.
My best friend was an Asian kid until i got to the tenth grade where B and i shared that English class and got super tight. The person i was closest with in seventh grade, was a Japanese girl that i met in PE named Jamie Hom. My first, real, girlfriend was named Maristella Cordova and she was Brazilian. The first girl i ever danced with in eighth grade, Tina, was Hmong. I played football with all of the giant Samoans and Magic with the nerdy Asian kids. I was in BSU and a ghost member of the Anime club. My kid sister is Desi, one of my closest friends is Puerto Rican, my baby sister is white, and my chick is Mexican. I can't fathom what it's like to not have that diverse perspective but, statistically, my experience is rare as f*ck. The experiences my friends and i shared growing up here, in California, are rare as f*ck. Our diversity isn't the norm, it's the exception. There are more places like Idaho, where ninety-three percent of that population is white, than there are places like California. Its not that we're super liberal, it's that we don't exist in an entitled echo chamber. We don't have xenophobia because we were constantly surrounded by the xenos. We have so many different voices, so many different perspectives, that we can't help but be progressive. It takes a diverse perspective to think forward and we have diversity in spades out here. If the majority of the people who live here, grew up like i did, then of course we'd be the most progressive state in the union. How can we not be?
I don't have a point of reference for alienating the Other. We were all Others. I grew up in a neighborhood of Others. I went to school with a peer group of Others. My family is made up of Others. Being different, being the Other, has never mattered to me. It doesn't matter, period. People are people, regardless of race, creed, or sexuality. That's why California is different. We celebrate that diversity here. We make it a point to use our differences as strengths, always have. That's why i don't understand all of that MAGA sh*t. I mean, go off with your ignorance but it doesn't matter. You can't make America great again because you've conflated whiteness for greatness and there are too many people with melanin for that to ever be a thing again. You can march and scream and gerrymander and voter suppress and poll watch and whatever else but it's all for not. There are more of us than there are of you. There re more people like me, who grew up like me, than there are of you, here, in California. Rail against the Others all you want. Vilify those who champion diversity. Try and force your witness on these who aren't white. Heep on with that wild, embarrassing ignorant sh*t. I'm just going to be over here, with my Desi sister, my Mexican lady, and black homeys, laughing at your narrow ass life choices. How sad is it people choose to deny themselves so much rich dopeness and shine because of some misplaced idea of supremacy? Segregation is stagnation, man. That sh*t is how you become irrelevant. That sh*t is how you go extinct.
0 notes
honeyedmilks4 years ago
Text
the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 馃嵃
i was tagged by the lovely @meanyoongis (thank YOU!! <3) for this extravagant tag! she is so long, even without my rambling, that under a cut she must rest!
the last鈥
drink:聽water! please stay hydrated this summer my friends!聽 time you cried:聽literally at 5 am at some point early in the week
phone call:聽my mum
text message:聽it鈥檚 literally me messaging rezka this:聽鈥渄id u just tell me to find a sugar daddy?鈥 we were discussing my shitty laptop and a peach phone cover i wanted to buy- don鈥檛 ask anymore questions about this please lmfao.
song you listened to:聽don鈥檛 stop by shinee :鈥( (i鈥檓 going to report choi minho for his rap in this as well as my love jonghyun for his vocals that nearly killed me)
聽have you鈥
dated someone twice: but鈥 i鈥檝e not.. even dated someone.. once鈥β
kissed someone and regretted it: nope!聽
been cheated on: nope!
lost someone special: not in terms of them passing away but i have lost many friends and relationships i still remember; i feel their loss sometimes
been depressed: dfhhdjd i be livin鈥 that mental illness life right now hskjxk
gotten drunk and thrown up: no, but during my very bad times, i thought about doing just that, a lot.聽
list three favourite colours鈥
omg okay: browns, pinks, blues聽
in the last year have you鈥
made new friends: yes! i love them!! shout out to my cute tumblr friends :鈥)))聽
fallen out of love:聽hmm鈥 i would say so鈥 THANK GOD聽
laughed until you cried: i wish lmfao but rezka and allie have made me laugh loads :鈥))聽
found out someone was talking about you: hmm yes, but it鈥檚 ok :((聽
met someone who changed you:聽i know some people now who have given me sound advice that i try to remember, but other than that i don鈥檛 think so
found out who your friends are:聽yes :(( though i would like to think the ones who didn鈥檛 check up on me had their reasons聽
kissed someone on your facebook list: i鈥檓 literally the most un-sensual person ever?? can u tell?? no action up in dis bitch y鈥檃ll!
general鈥
how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life:聽i should鈥檝e mentioned before that i鈥檓 not even on that鈥 place鈥 imagine having all my asian family members tryna peep me on 鈥榯he facebooks鈥 as my dad calls it鈥 a living nightmare鈥 also it just looks far too complicated to use and not worth the energy getting used to it, i love the memes that i see from facebook here though lmfaoo they鈥檙e lit
do you have any pets: no! :(( i used to have a bunny called bubbles but he is no longer with us :(( rest in peace bubbles :(( but our family wants a new pet! hopefully we鈥檒l get a cat or another rabbit when my littlest brother is a bit older! i鈥檓 so lonely鈥 i want a dog.. my family is so incomplete鈥 so cold鈥o devoid鈥 I JUST WANT AN ANIMAL FRIEND!!! but i would also have to get over my weird fear of all living things, and the pain that comes with having them such as scratches etc聽
do you want to change your name: actually no, i鈥檓 okay with my name right now :鈥) though i feel like i have two depending on how people pronounce it! its more commonly pronounced as sof-ee-a but it鈥檚 actually soft, like sof-ya! also here鈥檚 a fact! my name鈥檚 already been changed :D when i was younger i was actually named bariah (pronounced br-ee-ya) but it was changed because my parents and stuff thought it was causing me lots of bad luck鈥 i also somehow got picked on in primary school for having my name changed?? people eventually ended up saying i had changed my name like three times (the real case is that white people fucked up how to pronounce bariah and when my mum corrected them, they all flipped shit lmfao ah my head hurts thinking about this- it got worse after it went from bariah to sofia) 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽聽
what did you do for your last birthday:聽it was so miserable this was the worst year to ask me this question, lmfao i鈥檒l try not to give you any miserable details but i ended up buying myself cake and trying not to make it my departing date too
what time did you wake up:聽near 1pm i think!聽
what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was either watching the princess鈥 man or making my posters for it!聽
name something you can鈥檛 wait for: honestly don鈥檛 know lmfao i want to go to the beach though so here鈥檚 hoping i finally do that, or go swimming聽
when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago, she鈥檚 making dinner i think鈥 i can smell it鈥 all the way from my depression hole (bedroom)
what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much? but mostly i would like my dad to get better and my mum to not have to do everything :(( and then go on more holidays and live life more :(( also mental illness be gone!!
what are you listening right now:聽fuckin artificial love by exo dropped on ma shuffle, i鈥檓 getting terrible flashbacks to the cane dance 聽
have you ever talked to a person named tom: aye i know a guy called tom, he got a part of his tooth chipped (It was a whole big wild thing and i don鈥檛 know the details but that鈥檚 all i remember of the dude) and he聽was in my english class once, but like, we don鈥檛 talk no more鈥 i don鈥檛 even know if i鈥檝e seen him around school when i used to go鈥β
something that is getting on your nerves: lots of things鈥 my potato laptop鈥 myself鈥 no one in my gotdang family listening to me!!! the fact that it鈥檚 been two weeks and i still don鈥檛 have delicious cake鈥 also the fact i end up hating everything i make on here- thank you guys for being so lovely in your tags tho :鈥((聽
most visited website: tbh tumblr, pinterest, pixlr and dramanice
about me鈥
mole/s:聽i don鈥檛 think i have any? maybe some small dark dots here and there on my legs and neck
mark/s:聽i have some burn scars and a bit of a scar thing on my elbow where i scraped it really badly as a kid, i also have stretch marks on my waist/hips etc and a blotchy mark in my inner left thigh
childhood dream: i think i was set on being an interior designer at one point? lmfao or a celebrity chef (i watched a lot of food network as a kid)聽
hair colour: black
long or short hair: very very long, but i want to get it cut soon so it鈥檚 a bit shorter.聽
do you have a crush on someone: i mean there鈥檚 this one boy in real life鈥 but i don鈥檛 see him that much right now :(( i don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 full on infatuation though鈥 but y鈥檃ll also know i love jonghyun and changkyun聽
what do you like about yourself:聽AKDNSKJDKJADDJ i broke out the caps for this!!! lemme think鈥 i guess my eyebrows can be rather nice! and i can be funny sometimes i guess lmao鈥 i like how i can be empathetic with people, though it鈥檚 not at all always fun being so sensitive
piercings:聽i have my ears pierced! just one in each lobe :)聽
blood type: you trippin if you thought i would know this LMFAO聽
nickname: binch i gots so many oh my god鈥 my family, such as my aunt, call me brian (derived from my old name bariah- thank god i told you guys about that otherwise none of you would know why my nickname was fucking BRIAN), some people call me sofie/ sophie, and my mum calls my sofie pofie sometimes- my dad calls me sofar (so-fur) in the most desi way possible- he once accidentally called me sofa and it just stuck, it also explains my instagram user name (sofarsoogood) lmfao its a cute pun and i don鈥檛 know if this is a nickname but i get adressed as baji/baj by my younger brothers and sisters and cousins- its like the desi term for older sister聽
relationship status: your local potato head (that鈥檚 me) is on her lonesome鈥 she single as hell bitch!
zodiac: aquarius (i鈥檓 sure i spelt that wrong, rezka once dragged me for spelling it as some other dumb shit before BUT OH WELL)聽
pronouns: she/her!
favourite tv show (s): i don鈥檛 even know, parks and recreation is a good one though :鈥)) oooh and I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS though i鈥檝e not seen much of the new season :(( oh and an idiot abroad is fucking funny bye i need to rewatch that ooh also lots of cooking shows and the jane eyre bbc (2006) mini series聽
tattoos: no, but i would like to get some more henna done this year :鈥橠
right or left hand: right!
surgery: i don鈥檛 think so? but i did get some teeth taken out when i was younger so i don鈥檛 know if that counts lmfao聽
hair dyed in different colour: no, but it would be nice to get it done one day!! i鈥檝e been thinking about it鈥 but i don鈥檛 know what colour would suit me and my mum doesn鈥檛 want me to lmfao聽
sport: i like cycling (its been ages tho) and i like badminton, yoga and i really want to go swimming :(( but i don鈥檛 do any of that anymore. the most i do is long walking聽
vacation: i鈥檝e been to pakistan, england, stopped in dubai for a while, italy, france, turkey and egypt! it was all so long ago though! and i would like to go to so many more places!
pair of trainers: i have converse! though i much prefer sandals over converse
more general鈥
eating: these days i鈥檓 very into chips and cheese plus donner (don鈥檛 knock it till ya try it!) and my mum鈥檚 roti salan lmfao聽
drinking: hmm water! or icy drinks! iced tea is fabulous but i also gotta start drinking green tea again! i miss her聽
i鈥檓 about to: pass out from trying to answer all of these LMFAO JOKES i might get something to eat.. such as ice cream鈥 or actual dinner鈥 and then maybe watch more of the princess鈥 man or make some stuff! but who knows i might just fall asleep lmfao聽
waiting for: a new laptop, my mental health TO GET BETTER SDHKSHKSDH and for just鈥 i dunno what the heck i鈥檓 doing, i鈥檓 just winging my life right now and for my dad to get better so he can go on trains and buses with me so i can get used to them 聽
want: new bath bombs and clothes, my writing passion back, hugs, affection, allie to reunite with her chicken hat one day
get married: i most likely will when i鈥檓 older! though i鈥檝e been told i鈥檓 already in a relationship with jp and bevy maco聽
career: HONESTLY DON鈥橳 KNOW!!!!!! but if i filter all my shit out then i can say, i want to get into film, defos want to be a published writer, maybe go into graphic design鈥 who knows tbh maybe counselling?聽
which is better鈥
hugs or kisses:聽it depends on what kind of kiss/ where it is, but i often get in moods where i just need to be held :鈥(( so both i guess!
lips or eyes: both :鈥) but eyes over lips i guess unless we鈥檙e talking smiles :鈥)聽
short or tall: i guess tall but if i鈥檓 in love it might not really matter 聽 聽聽聽聽 聽 聽 聽聽
older or younger:聽hmm, i would say the same age as me or a little older, but it really depends on the mentality of the person :)聽
nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice :鈥)聽
sensitive or loud: hmm i don鈥檛 know鈥 probably loud, just not obnoxious or annoying
hook up or relationship:聽relationship聽:鈥)聽
troublemaker or hesitant:聽hmm i don鈥檛 know! the boys i鈥檝e liked have ended up being some troublemakers, but i guess it depends on what kind of trouble!聽
have you ever鈥
kissed a stranger: nope!
drank hard liquor: never聽
lost glasses/contact lenses: i don鈥檛 wear glasses or contact lenses but i have lost some sunglasses on holiday lmfao, it doesn鈥檛 even have to be a day before i lose something on holiday, or leave it behind
turned someone down:聽hmm i don鈥檛 think so! though one boy did try give me a valentine on valentine鈥檚 day but i was really having a terrible day and i didn鈥檛 take it from him, the encounter was a mess and i don鈥檛 know why he was tryna give it to me in the first place? i think he was just tryna get rid of it?? i don鈥檛 trust boys if they do stuff like that/ try ask me out tbh lmfao for many reasons
sex on the first date:聽oh no not my shy ass lmfao
broken someone鈥檚 heart:聽i don鈥檛 know :( most likely not! though there was one person i think i did hurt and let down聽聽
had your heart broken:聽i鈥檓 not sure in the romantic sense, but i know it鈥檚 felt a lot聽
been arrested: nope! i鈥檓 an angel ;)) LMFAO聽
cried when someone died:聽hmm i can鈥檛 remember, i think i cried seeing my mum so upset when her mother passed away, i also have shed tears over michael jackson (i used to be a very heavy mj blog back in the day lmfao shout out to my mj mutuals who stuck around)聽
fallen for a friend:聽i don鈥檛 think it was genuine, so i鈥檓 going to say no聽
do you believe in鈥
yourself:聽pfff depends really, there are times when i don鈥檛 feel an overwhelming sense of insecurity and there are times i do聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽聽
miracles:聽i guess so :)
love at first sight:聽i think you can be attracted to someone when you first see them or have a liking to them but real love is such a complex thing that i don鈥檛 really believe one can fall in love at first sight
santa claus:聽kjdcnjdcnjd who dat i only know dat cool guy in narnia who gave dem kids of old their death devices
kiss on the first date:聽hmm鈥β燿epends鈥 but in reality鈥 probably no
angels:聽yes聽聽
other鈥
current best friends name:聽rezka, allie, mhairi, (a mix of tumbly friends and irl) im such a loser bye but i love y鈥檃ll, i honestly don鈥檛 talk to a lot of people these days :((聽
eye colour:聽so dark they look black and you can鈥檛 see my pupils sometimes
favourite聽movie(s):聽hmm鈥 sabrina (1954), the mummy one and two, peter pan (2003), pride and prejudice (2005) and spy! i have lots more i鈥檓 so fond of! 聽
phew! time to tag some lovely people! : @youngjei , @allonsy-allie , @dansphil , @seokjinings , @junyeol-s , @bovrilcat , @alcenos , @astraelogy , @mahnoorjahan聽,聽@timrggins聽and聽@bonqhee! 馃挆
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whatwouldfrogsdo4 years ago
Text
Opportunity (or Dreamer)
Day 6 of Nursey Week!
Trigger warnings: This deals with discussion of racism, particularly racism within the NHL, as well as white supremacy and internalized racism. Disclaimer that I, the writer, am white and so please, please if any of this is insensitive or straight up incorrect let me know and I will edit. There鈥檚 also some internalized acephobia.
Also on AO3 here.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 that about?鈥
Derek looked across at Ransom, then followed his gaze, frowning when he saw April and March playing beer pong. Then he realized that Holster and Dex had sat down to talk just beyond the beer pong table.
Derek paused for a moment, considering if it was okay to answer honestly. 鈥淲e鈥檝e had NHL scouts. It鈥檚, uh, getting to the point where we have to decide if we鈥檙e staying here for fourth year or not.鈥
鈥淪hit.鈥 Ransom looked impressed. 鈥淎re you serious?鈥
鈥淵eah, I think they鈥檙e starting to look at Samwell as one of the top colleges to try and pick from or something. Dex and I aren鈥檛 talking about it much. We don't want to affect each other鈥檚 decision.鈥 His teeth worried at his lip. The reminder of next year's uncertainty got more and more stressful the closer to a decision he felt. The hiss of air next to him told him that Ransom could see some of his doubts, and the next thing Derek knew, he was being steered towards the stairs.
In the attic, they settled on the double 聽which had replaced the bunk beds about a year earlier, and Derek stretched out so that he was staring at the ceiling. Ransom flopped onto his stomach and tilted his head to look at him.
鈥淲hat's up?鈥
鈥淚t's stupid.鈥
鈥淚sn't it always? Okay, start easy. Do you want to play NHL next year or stay here?鈥
鈥淚 want to play NHL, of course I do.鈥
鈥淎nd you want Dex to do the same but he's not so sure?鈥
Derek squeezed his eyes shut. 鈥淣o. No, I think he'd regret not doing that last year. I didn鈥檛 come here for the degree. I came for the college experience, and I can leave after three years knowing I got it. He came as the first person in his family to go to college. It was an effort for him to get here. You never know what might happen with hockey and realistically something could happen that first year before we've made enough to get by on, and I can shrug and live on my parents鈥 money and maybe write a book or some shit, but he鈥 It would kill him.鈥
There was a long silence. 鈥淲ell why the hell aren't you telling him you think that?鈥
鈥淏ecause half the time we fight it's about money. And鈥 And because this hits too close to our first ever fight. I applied for the scholarship even though I didn鈥檛 need it and he did. What if鈥 What if it鈥檚 my privilege talking when I say I want to go into the NHL, but that鈥檚 not for him? At least not now. Isn鈥檛 it kind of fucked for me to want that success straight away, but want him to wait?鈥
Ransom pulled the toy frog he and Holster had gifted to them at graduation towards him and had what looked like a staring competition with it while he thought. 鈥淚鈥檝e never known you and Dex to avoid fights,鈥 he finally said. 鈥淵ou tell each other what you think, whether it鈥檒l annoy the other one or not. That鈥檚 how you work.鈥
It was true. Derek so rarely told people what he really thought of them, but with Dex he always had, and in the end it had turned into a strange form of trust. Similarly, back in the beginning when Dex was trying to mold himself into somebody he wasn鈥檛, it was only back in the confines and privacy of their shared dorm that he let himself open up, heart pouring out for Derek to see, to the point where they didn鈥檛 know how to function when they had to pretend not to know such things about each other. 鈥淭his is different. This is our futures. Besides, it鈥檚 the sort of fight we couldn鈥檛 keep up here. It would affect the whole team.鈥
Ransom stiffened for a moment, and when their eyes crossed, Derek knew both of them were thinking about all those altercations between Ransom and Holster the year before. Making life decisions was difficult.
鈥淣ursey, bro, the main thing is you want what鈥檚 best for him.鈥 There was a crack in his voice which betrayed a hint of emotion at the acknowledgement that Holster had only ever wanted the same for him. 鈥淎nd when it comes to privilege- I mean, fuck, have you spent so much time teaching yourself about classism that you鈥檝e forgotten that you playing in the NHL will automatically put you on a Wiki page of Black players in the League? And you'll literally be like the third person with desi heritage. Hockey鈥檚 so fucking white, Nursey. You can鈥檛 let an opportunity like this pass you by because you鈥檙e trying to cater to your white boyfriend鈥檚 feelings.鈥
Derek nodded. He knew that it was true, but forcing himself to make a decision without factoring Dex in seemed impossible.
鈥淲ay I see it, Nursey, not talking to each other is making this decision more difficult than if you were. What if he鈥檚 thinking the exact same thing but he thinks you want him to go with you?鈥
鈥淭hat鈥檚 the other thing, though!鈥 Derek said, sitting up. 鈥淲hat if we can鈥檛 do long-distance? We鈥檝e been living together in the same fucking room as each other ever since the second time we ever met. It鈥檚 not even just since we鈥檝e been together, it鈥檚 since before that. We don鈥檛 know each other apart. We just went from hating each other鈥檚 guts to鈥 to鈥斺
鈥淭o disgustingly domestic?鈥
鈥淲hatever. But we did all of that while living together, and the one summer we were apart was difficult enough and now we鈥檙e even closer and he鈥檚 my best friend and I don鈥檛 know how this would work. We don鈥檛 even鈥斺 His hand shook a little and he dug his fingernails into his palm as he tried to push the words out. 鈥淲e probably have sex less than your average long-distance couple already.鈥
鈥淲oah.鈥 Ransom鈥檚 hand flew out and grabbed Derek鈥檚, prising his fingers out of a fist. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 personal. You don鈥檛 need to tell me that.鈥
鈥淏ut it鈥檚 relevant. What if we go all that time not seeing each other, and then when we do I鈥檓 not in the mood. Am I just supposed to expect him to be okay with that?鈥
鈥淒ex knew what he was signing up for. If he really isn鈥檛 okay with that, he doesn鈥檛 deserve you, but I鈥檓 willing to bet Jack鈥檚 annual salary that he loves you, asexuality and all, and won鈥檛 begrudge it. Your relationship is way more than sex.鈥 Derek knew he didn't look convinced, because Ransom let out a heavy sigh and continued. 鈥淟ong-distance doesn鈥檛 work for everyone, right? But it does for some people, and you two鈥 It鈥檚 up to you to make it work, eh? I know I鈥檓 the last person who should be giving advice on making it work considering my relationship couldn鈥檛 handle a move to Boston, but a lot of that was me not putting in the effort. I kept just thinking March and April have each other, so if I鈥檓 tired after another full day of med school, I don鈥檛 have to ring, or Holster鈥檚 got a game this weekend and it鈥檚 easier to get to that than it is to get to Samwell for their game, and what if I screw up his rituals by not being there? But if you put in the effort, and if you keep talking to each other, why shouldn鈥檛 you be able to manage it?鈥
Derek stared at a stain on the ceiling - the one which Holster insisted had been there before he moved into the attic, even though Ransom didn鈥檛 remember it being there to begin with despite it being right above where his top bunk had been. A long-distance relationship with Dex was incomprehensible to him after all this time of waking up next to him, and every time he tried to imagine it, doubts plagued his mind.
鈥淗ey,鈥 Ransom said softly, and Derek looked back at him. 鈥淭his will be good for you. If you know you can get through this year, you can get through anything with him. If you can't, it's better to know now when you've both got a definite support system around and you'll have something to throw yourselves into. Otherwise, what? Five years down the line you've got kids to think about and you end up traded across the country from each other and realise that you actually don't know how to function apart?鈥
Derek nodded. 鈥淵ou're right. I know you are, it just makes me wonder why we have to change anything if we're happy.鈥
鈥淭hings change, bro, that's life. Don't turn down the opportunity to follow your dreams for love. Didn't La La Land teach you anything?鈥
鈥淚 didn't watch it.鈥
鈥淥h. Not everyone lives with Holster, eh?鈥
Derek snorted, but when he responded, it was with a sincere shrug. 鈥淗e might be worth making new dreams for.鈥
鈥淣ah, he isn't. Nobody's worth that unless they're willing to do anything they can to let you follow the ones you already have and if that's the case there's no point changing them. What difference does it really make doing it a year early? It's not like the odds of the same team signing you both is that great and it's probably lower signing the same year. You're allowed your own dream. You're allowed to want to give up on college for it and still think Dex should stick it out here. And he doesn't have to make his decision based on you thinking that but also you don't have to make your decision based on what Dex wants. Except you don't even know what he wants! You're just stressing over making sure he's happy and comfortable and please just think about why that's so fucked up.鈥
Derek鈥檚 breath hitched 鈥淚 know. I know, okay. I'll talk to him. I'll tell him I'm doing it.鈥
鈥淕ood. You can fulfill my dream, too.鈥
When Derek looked over to see what Ransom meant, he was met with a mischievous grin. He narrowed his eyes. 鈥淲hat?鈥
鈥淲ell, I have a dream that one day鈥斺
鈥淥h my God.鈥
鈥淭he Black boys and girls can play hockey with the white boys and girls.鈥
鈥淭hat's already a thing.鈥
Ransom carried on as if Derek hadn鈥檛 said anything. 鈥淎nd I have a dream鈥斺
鈥淎re you really doing this, you absolute nerd?鈥
鈥淭hat one day the Atlanta Thrashers won't be accused of reverse racism for hiring Black players.鈥
鈥淧retty difficult seeing as they aren't a team anymore.鈥
鈥淏ut also that they won't only hire Black players to give themselves a particular fan-base.鈥
鈥淎re you done?鈥
He grinned. 鈥淚 don't know, are you convinced?鈥
Derek pushed himself off the bed. 鈥淗onestly, I'll do it. You're right. I have to do this; it's not an opportunity I can miss, and I want to do it now, not in a year when it'll just feel like wasting time.鈥
Ransom jumped up to hit him on the back. 鈥淟ook at my little frog, all grown up and mature and ready to face the world.鈥
鈥淵ou're so embarrassing,鈥 Derek muttered as they started back down the stairs to rejoin the kegster. 鈥淯h, but thanks.鈥
鈥淎ny time, bro. I mean that. You've got my number.鈥
They sidled up to Holster and Dex who each silently demanded if everything was okay. Derek swung himself up to sit on the arm of Dex鈥檚 chair, and placed his feet in his lap. The look Dex gave him said 鈥榳e need to talk,鈥 but his fingers were gentle and reassuring as he ran them up Derek鈥檚 calves. Hopefully, they were on the same page.
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