#like mulaney survived the divorce

[dnpsuck]

(different anon) i do want your opinion on the john mulaney divorce drama actually. i may even agree

i have a loooooot to say about this and it’s not at all popular so it’s under the cut and it’s long lmao cw: nuance 

my opinion is that the treatment he received after he left rehab and filed for divorce shows that we don't care about drug addicts at all. literally i once saw a tiktok that made my blood boil because they listed "is a drug addict" as a reason to hate him and... how dense can you be? addiction isn't a personality trait or a quirk, it's a fucking disease that could still kill him if he ever relapses again.

his life was never as publicized and torn apart as it was the minute he left rehab (and yet somehow people still managed to get so many things wrong?), there were tweets and tiktoks spewing all kinds of hateful things about him right after he received treatment for his relapse. also people started coming up with extremely invasive speculation and rumors (that may or may not be true but that's not the point here) and accusing him of things none of the people involved accused him of and still doubling down on their hate for him when... most things actually back the timeline john himself gave us?

around oct-dec 2020 (or even earlier) a much smaller, but super invasive, group of people in the john fandom were already aware of their separation because they were never spotted together anymore and anna fully stopped using 'mulaney' as her last name way before we knew john was in rehab (as well as people with information from "sources" etc but that's too deuxmoi-y for my taste). then john left rehab in february 2021 and immediately filed for divorce - and y'know how in rehab people are encouraged to get out of situations and relationships that can lead them to another relapse? and then he left rehab and immediately filed for divorce? what's. not. clicking.

but, anyway, the divorce news only came out around may, almost at the same time as the news about olivia and because of this timing some people to this day still believe that it all happened on the same week when in reality he and anna had not been together for like. half a year lmao

and i love anna. i'm not in any way saying she's in the wrong in this situation, she went through a shitty divorce, after a shitty year and unfortunately her ex-husband moved on really fast, and because of exaggerated public attention, he also moved on REALLY publicly, and that's fucking shitty. i felt awful for her because of course i didn't want that to happen for them, i loved john and anna together, i genuinely believe they’d be together forever and obviously i was disappointed by the news.

but the thing is... divorce happens. life in 2020 was tough on everybody, people were forced to be confined and everything was put to the test, and a relationship with an addict is difficult as is; now add the weight of a global pandemic and everything else? it's chaos. survival of the fittest and they weren’t the fittest regardless of what people imagined of them.

and we don't even know if it was the relapse leading to the divorce or the divorce leading to the relapse but it was definitely a year that put their relationship to the test and they fucking failed. people who love each other still get divorced. and they can be individually really good people who genuinely loved each other but even then relationships can become bad and if divorce seemed like the solution for the guy that needed to do something about his life in order to not relapse on cocaine again then... i'm glad he chose what was best for him.

but then you go on tiktok and there were hundreds of people who watched 2 john mulaney specials and read deuxmoi like the bible and they were saying shit like "anna got me in the divorce!!!" and doing the most to have the cleverest joke or make the best disappointed face for a few likes and it was genuinely draining. because even if the timeline he offered was 100% false and he did cheat on anna with olivia and all the other awful things he was senselessly accused of (again all anna officially said about the divorce is that she was heartbroken that he decided to end their marriage but wished him well etc), even if he did all of that, the lack of care in the way people talked about him in the first year of his recovery is just fucking cruel. 

i’m not saying everyone should’ve babied him and been like “uwu love u mr mulaney you’ve never done anything wrong ever” but on the simple basis that the guy was in recovery for a cocaine addiction, after being sober for well over a decade (for context: anna met him years after he got clean), ideally people would’ve just backed off and let the guy live his life as best as he could. even if he did things i personally wouldn’t have done in my recovery lol

and i wish anna had been left alone too - i love that she got recognition with her work because she’s very talented and dinner in march + the december 2021 version of dinner in march are fucking beautiful (the dec one is my favorite). but it’s sad that most of the people that are paying attention to her art, even now, almost 2 years later, are only doing that because they wanna diss her ex-husband. and if you’re only admiring anna’s work to find clues of john in it, then she’s not the one that got you in the divorce after all.

the other day i saw a tiktok edit of anna to some sad music with the caption like “omg it’s her song 😥” and it’s... genuinely so sad that if these are the people that are gonna be promoting her work to new audiences, she’s always gonna be tied to her ex-husband. she’s always gonna be introduced through this kind of really pathetic lens instead of having her actual work be the selling point (and her work is fantastic when you see the art itself and not the comedian she used to be married to). they’re basically dooming and reducing her to this divorce.

just leave these people alone. they’re grown adults trying to live their private lives after shitty years. if u wanna laugh at funny jokes, go do that. if u wanna look at art and photography about loss and whatnot, go do that too. stop acting like divorce is some sort of moral issue in the fucking 2020s. move on.

anyway, i know i’m biased and i'd been following john, his career and whatever he shared of his life since 2013-14, but more than a bias, it definitely makes me more sensible to the fact that john could still relapse again, and it could be fatal, and he has a lot at stake now (a whole child). so i do believe his well-being is a bigger priority than how upset i was about john and anna’s marriage ending.

he’d talked so much about his addiction and alcohol issues, which started when he was basically a kid, in his stand-up, in interviews, on podcasts, etc., and how drugs and alcohol made him a terrible person and how much work he’s had to put into controlling his urges with substances etc, and i remember him saying in some podcast (before the 2020 relapse) that he realized he needed help with his addictions when he looked at himself from an outside perspective and realized "oh i'm not rooting for that guy anymore" and then he relapses again, gets the help he needs and as soon as he's out, people decide that divorce is absolutely unacceptable and say "we're not rooting for this guy anymore" and it's like lol. nice priorities y'all got there. but anyway. i’m glad he managed to get by

TLDR; his divorce was a normal thing that happens to like 50% of marriages, and it was all blown out of proportion because of unhealthy attachments to celebrities (which i am definitely at a fault here but at least i do my best to have my facts right). people prioritized taking sides on a divorce they were not a part of and making annoying tiktoks with baseless speculation for clout instead of letting a recovering addict just recover, or letting a recent divorcee just move on

with all of that said, the most disappointing thing about john after rehab was the thing with chappelle. it was fucking embarrassing and truly unnecessary, and it’s what made me take a step back from stanning. still wishing him well 

#addiction cw #drugs cw #alcoholism cw #lola.ask

[colour-outside-the-liness]

I hate to send something like that for the Conjuring AU since it kinda feels like pressuring you into putting in the fic, but I realized it might happen despite so here goes:

Can't wait to see them calling each other wives, maybe Jamie angrily telling someone that's her wife or to stay away from her wife and such, and then sadly remembering the status of their relationship, wondering if she should even still use that word, if Dani would like that or would feel disgusted of the thought of being married to her. And then there's Dani, who loves her, secretly delighted to hear it and surprised to find Jamie still feels that way about her, wishing things were different than they are

I love this and can definitely see them both doing it even while getting divorced because they both still love each other so much!! Also this this just reminded me of the John Mulaney joke about his wife and how he loved to throw the word wife around any chance he got!! And now I can't stop thinking about the other John Mulaney joke about his wife where he says "My wife is a bitch and I like her so much!!" This is something I think about Dani saying to people like Peter in an Alternate Universe where he'd survived and still hated Jamie I love this idea and will definitely use it, and please don't hesitate to send me things like this, I don't feel any pressure at all I genuinely love getting small prompts and ideas like this and finding a way to fit it into the fic!! Thank you for sending me this idea

[bfancyok-blog]

About Me&Why Fancy

“Here’s your one chance, Fancy, don’t let me down.” I was 16 or 17 when I first heard the song. My parents didn’t listen to country music so I “discovered” it on my own and it became fiercely mine. When I started driving I had total control of the radio and I exercised that freedom like a sailor on shore leave. I wasn’t entirely sure what her mama meant when she said “Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy,” but the refrain “Here’s your one chance” resonated with me. One chance. It was around this same time that 8 Mile came out and Eminem rapped about only getting one shot -- do not miss your chance! This idea of one chance, one shot, one time, that’s all you’ve got -- I internalized that. 

Fast forward, I’m staring down the end of my twenties and sugar, my twenties were a beast. I’d blown my shot. I spent my twenties--my “prime”--having babies with men who abused and took advantage of me, got married and divorced, started and stopped college three times, graduated with debt and a degree barely triaged from transferring, then at 29 diagnosed with cancer. Literally, I was just trying to survive, and I’d missed my shot to do anything big with my life. 

This isn’t a sob story, though, so don’t check out on me here. I remarried (to a wonderful man), had a third baby and work side hustles to stay home with my kids. I have a great life. But I’ve been really battling this idea that I’ve lost my “one chance”. My one chance to live a glamourous life, to travel, to be someone who does something and builds something and does more than shuffle through each day making sure everyone has clean clothes and dinner. Because of the bad choices I made at 19 and 20 and 22 and 24 and yesterday, I’m “cold product”. I’m a second string woman, rode hard and put away wet, discounted, less than, used up, and I should be thankful I have a family and a husband and a life after the stunts I pulled. It’s a gift that I’m tolerated at all, so I'll just sit at the table and be glad I’m allowed in the room. I’m past my expiration date, wasted my life. 

At 30, that sounds ludacris. And if anyone is an example that you get more than one chance it’s Luda! As the great John Mulaney says, the idea that tonight’s the night, the only night we have--that’s such 19 year old bullsh*t! It’s ridiculous, it’s a lie!! But it’s a lie I have believed and have allowed to take hold in me and keep me from pursuing my dreams, from obeying God, and from teasing up my hair and wearing bright lipstick! 

So here’s my next chance. And if you have felt this way, this is your next chance too. The story Reba told was fun to sing, but it’s not your life motto. You get more chances. Pretty teacups and Dolly Parton and sparkly earrings aren’t gonna solve all your problems but they probably aren’t gonna hurt you either. There are much more important things than things, but sometimes things are important too. Especially if they make you smile when you look at them, or warm your friends heart when you say, “I saw this and thought of you and just HAD to get it for you!” We may not have the same taste, but I bet we both like to take a bite of what looks good just the same. This space is a combination vintage resale, craft fair, life empowering and encouraging space.

So--I’m B, and I’m gonna be fancy as often as I can. And I hope you’ll come be fancy with me too.

XOXO Sugar,

B

#about me #why #one chance #dolly parton #reba mcentire #fancy