#like my coworkers spent four months thinking I was that age

[cherry-holmes]

MIRACLE - Javier Peña x F!reader

Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña

Chapter —

MASTERLIST

Summary: After been married for a while, you and Javier have struggles to conceiving a baby. Would it affect your relationship?

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word count: +5k

Warnings: Angst and comfort. No smut. Lots of crying. Mentions of infertility, pregnancy talk and health issues. Mentions of sex. Brief mention of pregnancy sex but nothing explicit. Brief mention of premature birth but nothing explicit. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: ok here we go again! Thank you so much for your love to my previous work, I hope you like this too!

I’m open for requests!

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You wrapped the test in a piece of toilet paper and threw it in the bathroom trash can. You told yourself that it didn't matter, that you would try again next month, but as you sat on the toilet, you realized that you had been saying that for nearly a year now. And what's worse, Javier had been telling you the same.

Then, you were crying again. You couldn't help but feel useless and a complete failure. You were supposed to be able to carry a child in your womb, to be a mother, but your body just wasn't cooperating. It felt like it was all your fault, and that burden weighed heavily on you.

After four months of trying to get pregnant without success, you had a sinking feeling that something might be wrong. You insisted to your husband that you both needed to see a doctor to find out what was happening. After undergoing tests, Javier's results came back favorable, but yours didn't. So, you were the problem. Your doctor recommended a treatment to help your body do its job, and you followed her instructions to the letter, taking your medication and eating healthily. It has been a year now.

Javi tried to reassure you, telling you to be patient and that there was no need to rush. But you wanted a baby so much that it hurt. You saw his cousin's babies and children, your coworkers' families, and you couldn't help but wonder when it would be your turn. Also you knew just how much Javier wanted to be a father and how he thought about his own father's age, wishing he would live long enough to see his grandchildren grow and play with them.

The baby's room was already built, it just needed the baby.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You were getting ready for Javi's cousin's wedding, Samantha. You didn't really want to go, but you were one of her bridesmaids.

Finishing your makeup at your vanity, you were lost in your own thoughts and didn't hear Javi calling you until he came close and squeezed your shoulder.

"Hey, baby, are you okay?" he asked with concern, finding your gaze through the mirror.

You hadn't actually heard what he said, but you recognized that familiar look in his expression – he was worried about you.

You nodded and tried to force a smile. "Yeah, I was just thinking about what Samantha said about the problem with the florist," you lied.

He made a noncommittal sound, clearly not convinced. Kneeling beside you, he took your hand and caressed your freshly painted red nails.

"You know I was a DEA agent, don't you?" he asked, and you avoided his gaze, knowing exactly what he meant. "And, most importantly, I'm your husband."

His unspoken message was clear: he knew you were lying, and he knew you better than anyone.

"What's the matter, honey? What's tormenting that wonderful mind of yours?" he insisted.

You didn't want to lie to him, but you also didn't want to burden him with your worries or make him feel more concerned for you. "I... It's nothing, Javi. Don't worry about it."

"Please, baby, you know you can tell me anything..." he tried again.

He just was being supportive and caring, and you had been feeling so down and sensitive. It started to feel like mixing water with oil for you– the emotions were overwhelming. You had spent a long time feeling terrible, and you couldn't handle Javi's condescending behavior any longer.

"I already told you it was nothing," you exclaimed, removing your hand from his abruptly and raising your voice a notch.

Javi was taken aback for a moment, unaccustomed to such a reaction from you. He could see the anger on your face, but he also noticed that you were holding back tears. Without saying anything else, he stood up, picked up his suit jacket from the bed, and left your shared room.

You watched him leave through the reflection in the mirror. A single tear trickled down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away, determined not to ruin your makeup.

Now, you didn't even feel like going to the wedding anymore, but you caught sight of your bridesmaid's bouquet, and you continued getting ready. She was not just part of your political family; she was also your friend, and you couldn't let her down.

When you went downstairs, Javi was seated on the couch, watching a soccer game with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"I'm ready," you announced.

He looked you up and down, thinking you looked stunning, but he felt a bit hurt by your earlier reaction, so he didn't say it. Instead, he turned off the TV and grabbed his keys. He opened the passenger door for you as he always did, but didn't say anything more as he started the engine.

As Javier drove in silence, only the pop song of the moment playing on the radio, you couldn't help but feel guilty for being rude to him. He didn't deserve it, especially when he had supported you through the most challenging moments of your life. He had been there for you when you cried, and you knew he wanted to become a father just as much as you did. Even when you felt like a burden, he never complained.

"I took a pregnancy test this morning," you finally confessed. You didn't look at him directly, but you noticed from the corner of your eye how his fingers clenched the steering wheel, a sign of his nervousness. "It was negative again."

He remained silent, his eyes focused on the road. You could feel the weight of his silence, and it made the car ride feel longer than it was.

"I'm gonna give up, Javi. I just... I can't do this anymore," you admitted, your voice quivering with a mix of frustration and despair.

Javier glanced at you, his brow furrowing with concern. "Baby, don't say that. We knew this wouldn't be easy."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you turned to look at him. "But it's been a year, Javi. A whole year of trying and nothing. I feel like such a failure."

Javi pull over, turning off his truck. He reached out and gently wiped away a tear that had rolled down your cheek. "You're not a failure, bonita. This is something we're facing together, as a couple."

You shook your head, the weight of your emotions bearing down on you. "I see all our friends having babies, and I can't help but feel jealous and broken."

Javier sighed, his fingers still caressing your cheek. "I know it's hard, mi vida, but we can't compare our journey to anyone else's. We're unique, and so is our path to parenthood."

You let out a shaky breath, feeling vulnerable and exposed. "I just want to give you a family, Javi."

His eyes softened as he looked at you with unwavering love. "And you will, my love. I have no doubt about that. We'll keep trying, and if we need to, we'll seek more help from the doctors. But no matter what, we're in this together, okay?"

Your heart ached with gratitude for having him by your side. "Thank you, Javi. I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier."

He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "No need to apologize, mi vida hermosa. We all have our moments. We'll get through this, one step at a time."

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Three months later

You couldn't believe it. You almost threw the test to the trash without double check, used to the one single line painted on it. But as you wrapped it on the toilet paper, you saw it: the second line.

You felt your blood draining at your feet, face turning completely pale. Your hands trembled as you stared at the test, disbelief washing over you. You had seen countless negative results in the past months, and each one had chipped away at your hope. But now, here it was, a positive result staring back at you.

Tears welled up in your eyes as a mix of emotions flooded your senses—joy, disbelief, fear, and relief all at once. You hastily wiped your tears, afraid to believe it too soon. You had always told yourself that if a test showed a positive result, you would have blood tests to confirm it before telling Javi, not wanting to get his hopes up for nothing.

But now that it is actually happening, you just couldn't contain yourself. You rushed out of the bathroom, clutching the test in your trembling hand, and found Javi in the living room. He looked up at you, concern in his eyes.

You couldn't hold back the tears any longer as you held out the test for him to see, your voice quivering, "Javi, it's positive."

He didn't say anything; he just wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you close and hiding his face between your hair and neck. You hugged him back, tears staining his shirt. You heard him sniff, and when he let you go, you could see his eyes had become teary.

"Let me see," he said, and you showed him the test. His eyes softened as he saw the two vibrant pink lines on it, and you could tell he was holding back tears. At the end of the day, he was still being that tough DEA agent you met.

"I-I'm gonna call doctor Badía and make an appointment for first thing tomorrow morning," you said quickly, sounding as anxious as excited, "I need an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and blood tests to make sure everything's fine and..."

You were interrupted by Javi, who wasn't actually listening, so eclipsed by the test in his hands. And when he finally reacted, he sought your lips, kissing you with passion and tenderness as his hands rested on your back, softly pulling you closer to him. His heart was racing, his eyes were full of tears, and he had butterflies in his stomach.

When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours, his arms still holding you with the most protective and gentle touch.

"I love you so, so much," he promised. "You're gonna be the most wonderful and beautiful mother our son could ask for. And I feel so honored and proud that you chose me to be on this journey with you."

Next morning, you and Javi were on your doctor's office. You told her about the tests and she said that you needed an ultrasound to confirm.

You felt so nervous about what if it was just a false positive. You hadn't had morning sickness, but you had a week of delay on your period, which it was usual on you to be honest.

At this point, you had taken so many pregnancy tests that it had become kind of a habit. You took them even if you had a single day of delay. Sometimes even if you don't have cramps or feel sensitivity the morning the day your period usually starts and ended up menstruating that same day later.

The doctor applied gel to your lower belly and began the procedure. You were shaking, but it wasn't due to the temperature of the gel. Javi held your hand firmly, and neither of you could take your eyes off the monitor.

After minutes of silence during which your doctor examined the image, she turned the monitor toward you for a better view. Then, she pointed at a tiny, little bean at the center.

"There it is," she said softly, almost as if the tiny bean would wake up, "Congratulations, mommy and daddy."

"Oh, my God," you cried as you smiled. You felt Javi tighten his hand around yours. He placed his forehead on your hand, then planted a kiss on it. Tears of happiness fell on his cheeks.

"Ho-How many weeks?," he asked, his voice full of emotion.

"I'd say probably between three and four weeks," she answered.

"Oh, my God," you repeated, not quite believing it yet. Javi leaned in to kiss your temple. "Look, Javi, it's our baby," you laughed, pointing at the monitor.

"It's so beautiful, amor," he praised.

"Everything looks fine so far, but we'll need to do blood tests to check on mommy's health and rule out any problems with the fetus," she explained as she gave you a paper to clean yourself, "A nurse will be here in a moment to take your blood, and I'll also leave an ultrasound photo with the receptionist for you to take home."

"Thank you so much, doctor," Javi said.

"You're welcome, and congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Peña," she said as she left the room.

"I'll do it, baby," he said as he took the paper from you and gently started cleaning you. Then, he leaned in on your belly to kiss it and talk to his baby for the first time. He whispered sweet words and promises to your growing bump, "Hello, corazón, I'm your daddy," he said. Your cheeks burned cherry red, and you giggled shyly. He looked up at you, also blushing but with eyes full of tenderness, "It took you so long to come to us, ain't you, baby?" he joked. His expression changed afterward, becoming more serious, mature, and determined – the Javi you knew was about to make a promise. "We're so glad you came, baby; we have been waiting for you for so long. We love you, mi amor chiquito."

Your hand reached for his face, cupping his cheek and caressing his features. He kissed your wrist, absorbing your touch, his happiness and peace evident.

Javier's heart ached every time he witnessed the pain you endured due to your inability to conceive a child. The weight of your shared desire for a baby was a heavy burden, but what pained him most was seeing your tears and knowing he couldn't immediately make things right. It was a time filled with helplessness, and only the two of you truly understood the depth of those emotional struggles.

Now he saw you as happy as he hadn't seen you in so long, and he felt peace once more. He would never forget the look on your beautiful face and the sparkle in your eyes from the moment you told him you were carrying his baby. He wanted nothing more than your happiness, and if that meant giving you beautiful sons and daughters, he would gladly have hundreds of children with you.

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"So, Dad, we have a surprise for you," Javi said as he stood up from the table and went for the box you had prepared and hidden from sight.

"Really?" your father-in-law asked immediately, forgetting about the delicious flan you had made for tonight's dessert. "Is it what I think it is?" he asked as he looked at you with eyes full of joy and tenderness. You had seen those brown eyes so many times in your own husband, and you were hoping that your baby would inherit them too.

You couldn't answer him because Javi quickly returned with the box in his hands and placed it in front of his father. Don Chucho had spent the last twelve weeks eagerly anticipating the news of his grandchild's gender, just as much as you and Javi had.

"Ábralo, papá," you encouraged him as he wiped his hands with a napkin to avoid staining the beautiful white wrapping paper you had used to decorate the box. The old man was so excited, and Javi was almost teary-eyed from seeing his father like that.

Don Chucho opened the box quickly and started to look inside when he saw the color of the tiny pair of shoes and the baby's bodysuit.

"¡Lo sabía, lo sabía!" he laughed as he took the clothes out of the box, tears in his eyes like his son's. Then he looked at you, directly in the eyes. You felt your heart swell with warmth and tenderness. "I knew it from the look in your eyes," he said. "It's the same look my Ceci had when she was pregnant with Javier. I was sure it was a boy, and I didn't fail!" His voice cracked, but he was so, so happy. "Thank you, mija, for giving this family such a blessing."

You tried to say something, to thank him and your husband for becoming a family for you, for taking care of you and accepting you into their lives. But you couldn't, overwhelmed by the surge of hormones that made you cry all the time. Javi took your hand and placed a kiss on its back.

"I couldn't ask for anything better than this," you finally managed to say between tears. "I know my baby boy will have the best role models in life. Bringing another Peña boy into this world is a pleasure for me."

"I'm the luckiest man in the world, I truly am," said Javi after kissing your temple and wiping a tear with his thumb from your beautiful face.

He had always seen you as the most gorgeous woman he had ever met in his entire life, but during your pregnancy, you became even more stunning. It suited you perfectly. He was infatuated with your pregnant body—your swollen breasts, your curvier hips, and your growing belly. He just couldn't keep his hands off you. He loved how sensitive and needy the hormones had made you.

Javi treated you like a queen during your pregnancy. He let you sleep as long as you wanted, cooked for you, and gave you feet massages. He would even drive around Laredo at midnight just to satisfy your pregnancy cravings, whether it was hamburgers, nachos, donuts, ice cream, pizza, or even things you didn't used to like, like pickles. He also took care of you on your worst days, when you had morning sickness and headache in the afternoons.

You were indeed surrounded by so much love, from Javi and Don Chucho taking care of you and your baby, to the rest of the Peña family. Javi's female cousins and aunts offered you advice and gifts, listened to your concerns, and made you feel like you weren't alone on this sometimes scary journey of becoming a mother. It was comforting, especially since your own family lived far away, although they stayed in contact, especially your two sweet older sisters.

Of course, you had Javi, who never left your side. He protected you and did everything to ensure you felt comfortable and supported. However, the truth was that he would never truly understand what it felt like to have a baby growing inside you—experiencing the symptoms, the hormones coursing through your body, the physical changes, and the fears about giving birth. You were grateful for the empathetic and caring female circle around you, including your friends at work and even Connie Murphy, who despite the distance, remained attentive to your pregnancy and provided valuable recommendations.

Your pregnancy was a beautiful stage that you enjoyed immensely with Javier, who was as in love with his son as he was with you.

No one around Laredo could believe that the infamous Javier Francisco Peña, the one who left a woman at the altar years ago, had now actually married a beautiful young woman and that he was about to become a loving father. The rumors about the two of you were always terrible and cruel, saying that he would cheat on you in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately for them, none of them were true.

The baby's room was finally ready at the beginning of your eighth month. You and Javi had put your hearts into making and decorating the room, giving it a farm theme. As you stepped through the doorway, the warm and inviting color palette enveloped you, painting a picture of the countryside itself. Whimsical wallpaper had come to life, featuring farm animals in their finest moments. Cows grazed peacefully, sheep frolicked, pigs played in the mud, and chickens strutted.

The most endearing thing in the room was the crib, fashioned from weathered wood. It was a gift from Don Chucho, who revealed that it was actually Javier's crib. You obviously couldn't help but gasp, bringing a hand to your lips while your eyes filled with tender tears. The man had kept the crib guarded and protected in the basement of the house, hoping to one day take it out again to cradle his grandchildren. The crib was beautiful and had been built by Javi's own grandfather, his mother's father.

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It was the end of your thirty-third week, and you were well aware that you had at least seven more weeks until the baby arrived... but that wasn't your own baby's plan.

You were peacefully sleeping until you started feeling uncomfortable. Your back ached, and you had a weird sensation in your lower belly. The clock on your side of the bed marked 3:15 am when you stood up to go to the bathroom. But halfway to the bathroom, you felt something pop inside you and then a warm liquid running down your legs. You froze, your heart beating so fast as you tried to turn back to the bed, but you felt so scared.

No... no, no, no– That couldn't be happening now. It wasn't time yet.

''Javi...,'' you cried, your voice filled with fear and despair. ''Javier! Wake up!''

Your husband woke up bewildered, instinctively reaching a hand to your side of the bed to look for you. Javi used to have nightmares stemming from everything he saw during his time in Colombia, and some of them involved you in danger. That's why when he heard you call him with that desperation, he thought he was dreaming. When he didn't feel you next to him, he immediately sat up in bed.

He saw you standing in the middle of the dark room, looking down at your feet and crying. He followed your gaze and saw what looked like a puddle of water, but he couldn't be sure without light.

''Javier, come here!'' you called him, and he jumped out of bed, his bare feet making contact with the cold floor.

''What happened?'' he asked, putting a hand on your lower back and reaching for your hand.

''I broke my water,'' you explained. When you lifted your face, and he saw your worried expression, he felt his heart break. ''It's not time yet, there are still weeks left, Javi. My baby... this isn't normal, I'm scared...'' The first thing you thought was that you could lose him. You couldn't live if you lost your boy.

''It's okay, mi vida,'' Javi said, putting himself together, ''I'm gonna take you to the hospital.'' He helped you out of the puddle and started cleaning your legs to help you change into a pair of sweat pants and a comfy sweater. It was the middle of December, just a few days before Christmas, so the weather was windy and freezing. You didn't have your baby bag ready, and Javi was so nervous that he only packed the first newborn clothes he saw, the warmest blanket he could find, and a full pack of diapers.

He helped you climb into his Dodge truck and secured your body with the seatbelt. He felt your body shaking, heard you sniffle, and noticed you mumbling a silent prayer. His heart ached to see you so scared and nervous, an image he promised himself that he would do anything to prevent. But again, he felt helpless for not being able to do anything else for you.

But he did all you needed from him: he took your cold and shaking hands between his warmer and firmer ones, making you feel safe and protected even though you were terrified. He placed a kiss on your forehead and then a peck on your lips. ''Everything's gonna be just fine,'' he promised, even though he himself wasn't quite sure.

Javier took you to the ER, where a nurse checked on you and confirmed that you were dilated. Apparently, your body was ready to give birth to your son, but you were concerned about whether your baby was ready.

''Everything looks fine with your baby,'' she explained after doing an ultrasound to check on him, ''We're going to give you a room and wait until you have more frequent contractions to start the delivery. Don't worry, Mrs. Peña, we're going to keep monitoring your baby's health very closely. Premature birth isn't ideal, but we're going to do our best to receive your son as well as possible.''

You and Javier spent the next few hours waiting in your hospital room. His father, Samantha, and his aunt arrived at the hospital early in the morning, bringing you all the things you needed for your baby's hospital bag and the car seat Javi had bought. They also brought flowers and balloons.

As time passed, the contractions became stronger and more frequent. Doctor Badía assured you that even though your baby would be considered premature, all the tests and ultrasounds were positive, and she hoped the delivery would be without any complications.

Javi never left your side, comforting you through the contractions, holding your hand, massaging your lower back, making sure you were hydrated and comfortable.

When the moment finally arrived, the birth turned out to be quick and without problems, but it was painful. You cried as you pushed, squeezing Javi's hand as he praised you and gave you words of encouragement.

''You can do it, baby,'' he told you as he kissed your hand. You were too focused on yourself, doing your best to keep pushing and breathe between contractions.

''It hurts so much,'' you cried, feeling overwhelmed by the effort.

''Keep pushing, Mrs. Peña,'' your doctor said as she called the nurses to be ready to hold your baby, ''I can see the head, just one more push.''

''I'm so proud of you, mi amor,'' Javi's voice was the only one you heard. It made you feel stronger, like you could do anything for him. ''You heard that? Just one more push, and you'll have our boy in your arms.''

You gathered all the love you felt for your baby boy, for your husband, for everything you had been through to be here and found the strength to push as hard as you could. And before you knew it, you heard your baby's cry filling the room.

With one last gasp, your body fell exhausted onto the bed, but your eyes searched for your baby. You didn't care about anything you were feeling physically; you just wanted to hold your son in your arms and never let him go. However, they didn't give him to you. Instead, you saw as they took him away from you, and you couldn't even see a single finger. But you could hear him crying so loud that it broke your heart in a way you didn't know before.

''Wh-what are they doing?,'' you mumbled, so weak that you couldn't even keep your head lifted. But you tried to stand up, and if it weren't for Javier, you would have achieved it. He pushed you back gently.

''It's alright, honey,'' he promised, ''They are checking on him, but he's fine. God, he's gorgeous.''

You looked at him, your eyes full of tenderness and trust, ''You saw him?''

''I did,'' he confirmed, ''Now, please, lie down.''

''Mr. Peña,'' a nurse called him as she approached him with a bundle in her arms, ''Do you want to hold your son?''

Javi's eyes lit up in that moment. He nodded almost desperately as he extended his strong arms to his boy. When he finally held his boy in his arms, he felt a wave of pure love running through his veins. He saw his boy's crying features, his little nose, and his little lips, head full of dark hairs. He was so tiny, so beautiful.

He waited as the nurses helped you to sit up on the bed, while Doctor Badía kept working to deliver your placenta and made sure everything was well with you.

When the nurses made sure you were comfortable, you extended your weak arms to Javi, and he immediately helped you hold your baby between your arms as you cried tears of happiness and excitement, meeting your son for the first time.

''He looks so much like you, Javi,'' you exclaimed as he sat beside you, kissing your temple and resting his head on top of yours. ''Hello, handsome boy. I'm your mommy, and he's your daddy.'' You leaned in to him and kissed his forehead, making him stop crying, feeling finally safe with your warmth.

''Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Peña,'' your doctor said as she confirmed that you were fine down there. ''Your baby will be in the NICU area for a few days just to monitor everything is fine with him as days pass, but he's breathing just fine. It's a miracle for a baby to be born prematurely. He will be just fine. Does he has a name yet?,'' she wanted to know.

You nodded, ''Javier Emilio Peña.''

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Emilio stayed in the hospital for just one week. His health was perfectly fine, and he ate and breath without any issues. Your family couldn't have been happier. Both you and Javier were completely enchanted by everything he did, and he filled you both with immense pride.

Emilio took to the farm life with great enthusiasm. He laughed joyfully while watching the dogs play in the fields, enjoyed petting the cows and sheep, and loved it when Javier would take him for horse rides around the fence.

Your son inherited his father's bright, big, puppy brown eyes, a head full of dark hair, and the most beautiful smile that Javier insisted was all yours.

Shortly after Emilio's first birthday, you confessed to Javier that you wanted to try for a second baby.

"Are you sure, honey?" he asked, helping you clean up after Emilio's birthday party. "Don't you think it might be a bit early?"

"We struggled so much to have our first one, Javi, so I want to start as soon as possible in case we have difficulties again," you explained.

He agreed, and the following week, you visited your doctor to begin the process once more. What neither of you expected was for it to happen so quickly, conceiving on the third attempt, much faster than it took for Emilio. It was a delightful surprise for both of you, even though you had mentally prepared for a longer journey.

You welcomed another boy into your family, naming him Eduardo Peña. He also bore a striking resemblance to Javier, although he insisted that Lalo had your features.

Then, two years later, when you both thought your family was complete, you found out you were pregnant during a trip to visit your family. Javier's father humorously called it a "se les chispoteó," which made you both laugh. You attributed the "accident" to a passionate moment you had shared two months earlier when you had left your children with one of Javier's cousins while you went to buy a gown for your best friend's wedding. It was a rare occasion when the two of you had been alone in a while, so your desires had taken over, leading to a spontaneous encounter in the back of his truck because of the excitement and novelty of the situation.

This time, you welcomed a beautiful baby girl into your family, naming her Cecilia Peña, after Javier's mother. You affectionately called her Lia for short.

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As the years passed, your family grew closer and more full of love. Emilio, Eduardo, and Lia grew up with the love and support of their parents, grandfather, and the entire Peña family. Your journey from struggling to conceive your first child to the surprise blessings of two more had taught you and Javier the value of patience, love, and family.

The farm remained a cherished place, where your children laughed, played, and learned about life and love. The farm animals, once just wallpaper in Emilio's nursery, became real friends for your children.

Every milestone, from Emilio's first steps to Eduardo's first words to Lia's first day of school, was celebrated with joy and tears of pride.

Javier was the most wonderful father you could ever had ask for your children. He was loving and caring, always attentive and supportive. He was also strict when he have to, with the purpose of raising respectful children and guiding them on the right path. Your three beautiful children grew up loving their parents and seeing how much mom and dad love each other.

Your journey had been challenging, but it had also been rewarding beyond measure. The struggles and heartaches had only made your bond stronger, and even more grateful for the precious moments of happiness. You and Javier had grown together, and the love you shared had created a beautiful and loving family that filled your lives with meaning and purpose.

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[jimblejamblewritings]

falling for the captain | part 17.

Summary: Captain Y/N L/N. Leader of the Avengers on Earth-563, not really a family or team strictly just coworkers. A lot of responsibility for someone only nineteen. What happens when the Captain finds herself on “Earth Earth” in the compound of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Stuck on Earth for the time being, Y/N sees what these Avengers are about. And Captain America finds himself falling for this leader, even though her age is throwing him… that and the fact no one knows if she’ll head back to Earth-563 the minute she can.

Warnings: AGE GAP (clear from the summary, it’s a young reader but legal),

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

“Everyone here?” Tony asked.

“Aside from Nebula and Clint, I think they’re still trying to wake up.”

You all stood around the lab as Tony, Rocket, and Bruce finished the stones. It was early in the morning, earlier than you thought they would have it done. So you were sitting on one of Tony’s empty workbenches eating a bowl of cereal.

“Alright, glove’s finished,” Rocket said. “Now the question is, who’s going to snap their fingers?”

Thor jumped up, only to be stopped by basically everybody. He was still hurting, it was understandable why he would want to do it.

“Just wait,” Steve said. “We should at least discuss it.”

“Look. Sitting here and standing about isn’t going to bring everybody back. I’m the strongest Avenger, okay? So let me,” Thor started.

“I’m telling you, you’re in no condition,” Tony said.

“Do you know what is coursing through my veins?”

“Cheese Whiz?” Rhodey retorted. You gave him a pointed look but couldn’t help yourself from snickering.

“Lightning. We need to do it… do something good, something right, do…”

You set your bowl of cereal down and grabbed Thor’s arm. He stopped his blubbering and looked at you. Thunder and Lightning, we failed together but we’ll get through this. You tried to convey that message with your eyes. Thor nodded and stepped back.

“It’s not that simple, buddy. That glove holds enough energy to light up a continent,” Tony said.

“So it’s up to me,” you said.

“Hold on, Short-stack. You’ve just been through the ringer, let’s figure out something else first.”

“But if we don’t?”

“If we don’t… it’s up to you. But if you do it, we wait a few days. You just came through multiple snaps and the Soul Stone. They’ve been gone for five years, what’s five days more.”

You nodded and returned to your cereal. Tony was right, you didn’t feel the best after all the events. But just like any mission, you were willing to put all your pain aside to help out. You would just recover later.

“I’ll do it,” Bruce said. “I’ve spent months in the gamma lab. I’m the closest here to Thanos and (Y/N)’s composition and I should be able to withstand it.”

“You sure, Bruce?” Natasha asked.

“You saw what those stones did to Thanos. They almost killed him. None of you would survive. If it’s not (Y/N), it’s me.”

Everyone looked at each other. Bruce was right. If not you. Him.

“Alright,” Tony said. “Remember, bring back everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago. Don’t touch the now.”

“Got it.”

Everyone aside from you, suited up to protect themselves from the potential blast of the stones. If it went wrong, there was a possibility that only you and Bruce would be okay. The only thing you had was your earpiece and jacket but you weren’t hiding behind a shield. You had taken all four of the bracelets from Steve causing the fading in and out to start.

If you saw it going south, you would attempt to make a portal in time to push everyone through. The tremors had gone down significantly with the promise of everyone returning. Hopefully, once this was all over they would end completely. You were finally starting to feel like you were winning. The Avengers were going to be on top once again.

The glove stretched around Bruce’s hand. You wanted to run to him when you saw him kneel under the power of the stones. Thor yelled for him to take it off but Bruce assured everyone that he was fine. The glove smoked until Bruce snapped. Nothing happened, you didn’t know if it worked or not. But none of you were focused on that. Bruce, whose arm was charred and smoking, was the number one priority. He was groaning as he lied on the floor.

“Don’t move him,” Tony said as Steve approached.

Tony blasted something from the Iron Man suit to ease the pain.

“Did it work?” Bruce asked.

“We’re not sure, are you okay?” Thor asked as he knelt next to his friend.

You sat by Bruce’s head using your powers to send little electric pulses to his brain, stopping any pain receptors. You grimaced looking at his arm. It would recover, but it made you think you should’ve sucked it up and taken the stones. You didn’t know this would happen to Bruce, you thought with the gamma radiation he was more like you but it was clear his composition was closer to Thanos. Able to withstand the stones but not truly handle them.

Clint turned when he heard his cell phone ring. You looked up to see Scott stare out the window when you saw it. Birds. You looked at your hands at Bruce’s side. They weren’t fading, they were physically there even with all the beads on.

“It’s Laura,” Clint choked out as he looked at the phone.

You smiled.

“It worked, Bruce,” you said. “You did it.”

Bruce slowly sat up, smiling. Once he confirmed the pain was gone, you let go of his head. Steve helped him stand and the three of you joined Scott at the window. You were enjoying watching the birds when you spotted the spaceship. Before anyone could react, the ship blasted missiles at the window. The missiles busted through the compound and blew you all backwards. Everyone tried to clear the way and find some sort of safety as the entire compound was being blasted by missiles.

You spotted Spark and Goose and portaled them back to your apartment in Brooklyn. The place was crumbling around you. You flew up and looked for everyone but couldn’t see past the smoke. You blindly threw portals, hoping the team would walk through them to the now ashen grass.

“Lower levels flooded!” You heard Rhodey yell in the comms.

“What?!” Scott yelled back.

You raced down but couldn’t see them. You tried to enter but the rubble and concrete from the floor right above almost hit you.

“I’m sending portals to the lower levels but I can’t see you guys. You’re going to have to find a way to them.”

“Lower levels are flooded!” Rhodey yelled again.

Their comms were broken. You and Scott could hear them, the rest of the team probably could as well but they couldn’t hear you. You flew back up to get a bird’s eye view. You threw more portals to areas the lower levels might be at.

“I’m on it! I’m on it!” Scott said.

You left the scene, trusting that Scott would lead them to the portals.

“Has anyone seen Clint or Natasha?!” you yelled.

The crackle of Nat’s comm came in, it was faint but you could hear it. “Sewers, running from alien dogs. Clint has the glove.”

The smoke was starting to dissipate and hopefully it would quick enough for you to see the real amount of damage done. You saw Steve and Thor walk through one of the portals into the field. So far they were the only ones. You landed back down to meet them.

“What the hell is going on?” you asked.

Tony appeared out of the portal next. He shoved the shield back to Steve. “Look, you lose this again and I’m keeping it. Mess with time, it tends to mess back.”

“So this is what exactly?” You asked.

Before any of the boys could answer, a beam came down from the spaceship far away from you guys. It was Thanos.

“So this is the future?” Thanos asked.

“Yes, father.”

You three watched Nebula go near Thanos. But Nebula was… Thanos said the future. You were staring at a Thanos from before the snap. Nebula took off the one random brown plate on her head, revealing the blue one underneath. Which meant that Nebula wasn’t your Nebula. You looked at the men in front of you and they already knew as she ran off. This was about to be the battle at Wakanda all over again. Only this time, you weren’t going to let Thanos win.

“Where are the stones?” Steve asked as you watched Thanos just sit there.

“Somewhere under all this,” Tony said.

“So we know he doesn’t have them. Let’s keep it that way.”

“You know it’s a trap, right?” Thor asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said tightly. “I don’t care all that much.”

“Good. Just as long as we’re all in agreement.”

“Same page, buddy,” you said as you adjusted your bracelets.

Thor held out his hands and lightning hit him and his Mjolnir and axe flew into his hands. The god of thunder looked at you with a tilt of his head. You shook out your hands and held them out. Thor sent a shot of lightning your way. You floated slightly above the boys, hair sparking up a storm.

“Let’s kill him properly this time,” Thor said as the lightning in him died down.

“The head?” you smirked.

“The head.”

Thanos looked up as Thor answered. But, he still didn’t move from where he was sitting on a pile of rubble. On the compound he just destroyed. You settled back down to the ground and walked with them towards Thanos.

“You could not live with your own failure,” Thanos said. “And where did that bring you? Back to me. I thought by eliminating half of life that the other half would thrive. But you have shown me that’s impossible as long as there are those that remember what was. They will resist.”

Thanos was unphased as you four spread out, circling him.

“Yep, we’re all kinds of stubborn,” Tony snarked back.

“Thank you for that. Because now I know what I must do. I will shred this universe down to it’s last atom. And then with the stones you’ve collected for me, create a new one teaming with life that knows not what it’s lost but what it’s been given. A grateful universe.”

Thanos grabbed his helmet and weapon. The lightning started coursing through Thor again. Tony brought down the mask of his suit.

“Born of blood,” Steve said as he readjusted his shield.

“They’ll never know it. Because you won’t be alive to tell them.”

You watched in shock as Thanos cut through your portal. He wasn’t affected by them. Whatever planet he came from, whatever alien he was, he seemed to be able to withstand a good brunt of your powers. You had forgone the portal and started to blast magic beams with Tony. It didn’t matter that it was four on one. Thanos was strong.

“Thor, hit me!” Tony said and used the lightning from Thor to generate some high beams and throw them at Thanos.

Thanos grabbed Tony to use as a shield just as Thor threw Mjolnir. You raced to where Tony had gone flying, lifting the mask off of his face.

“Tony, Tony wake up. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is he breathing? Tony! F.R.I.D.A.Y.?!”

The AI confirmed that Tony was in fact alive. You were holding his face, shaking him awake. You left Steve and Thor to the fighting while you made sure Tony was okay.

“Thor!” you yelled as you watched Thanos punch him in the face.

You were about to leave Tony as you watched Thanos try to shove Thor’s axe into his chest until the Mjolnir smacked Thanos in the face. You smiled in relief as Mjolnir flew to Steve’s hand. Thanos let go of the axe and kicked Thor in the face, knocking out the Asgardian. Steve swung the Mjolnir, bringing in a line of lightning towards the purple giant’s direction. Thanos swung around his weapon as he started to approach Steve.

“Come on, Tony. Time to get up… shit. I’ll be right back. Get up, Stark!”

You raced over to Thor. You placed your hands on his chest essentially electrocuting him. The lightning danced on Thor’s skin but he didn’t wake up. Mjolnir landed near you and you looked over wide-eyed.

“CAPTAIN!”

Thanos had knocked Steve clear across the compound.

“In my years of conquest, it was never personal. But I’ll tell you now, what I’m about to do to your stubborn, annoying little planet… I’m gonna enjoy it, very very much.”

You stood up.

“Alright, big and ugly. Now, this shit has gotten old.”

You raced towards Thanos, barely missing the swing of his blade. You blasted beams at him. Some he dodged, others hit him and caused him to stumble. You portaled yourself behind him and knocked off his helmet, leaving his head now vulnerable. Steve took all his energy to throw the shield. It raced under your feet and you were fully charged, not having to worry about the snap.

You screamed as you brought down a fist of lightning, hitting the sleeve of Thanos’ armor. It knocked the sleeve of armor clean off and even burned him, causing Thanos to grab at his arm. You generated more power, your hair practically ablaze as you prepared to blast him, when beams of light came down. You let the magic ball die as you watched more beams than you could count hit the ground of the compound.

“Oh this just isn’t fair. You start to lose and bring in an army?”

You sent a final blast towards Thanos, hitting the same spot on his arm. He held the now charred bicep. You were aiming to render it useless. You had to give up your fight to try and wake up Steve, Thor, and Tony. You portaled the shield back near Steve. He still wasn’t up.

Every time you passed by Thanos you threw a lightning blast at his arm. He had to let it get hit as he tried to avoid the other beams. You stopped, floating above the ground, when you saw not just a ground army but some more spaceships aimed at you and the rest of Earth.

“Can you take this all on your own? You’ve lost.”

“It’s not over till I’m dead.”

Your hands shook as you gathered lightning at them.

“Hey, Captain (L/N)?”

You looked confused as you swore you heard Sam’s voice through your comm.

“Captain? It’s Sam. Do you read me? On your left.”

You looked over your shoulder to see Steve who was finally standing also looking behind him. A portal opened and you watched T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye walk out and Sam flew out. More portals opened and you watched your friends walk out.

Tears appeared at the corner of your eyes when you looked at the portal closest to Steve and saw Bucky and Peter walk out. T’Challa started to chant in Xhosa as the rest of the Wakandan army chanted back in a call and response as they walked in. Pepper landed next to Tony who was coming to his senses, in her Iron Man suit that Tony had made for her birthday. Scott, now a giant, bursted through the crumbled up compound. Hulk, Rhodey, Rocket, Clint, and Nat stumbled out of his palm.

“That everyone?” Strange asked.

They all started to pick up the chant the Wakandans were yelling and soon everyone was shouting in Xhosa. Thor and Tony had gotten up and joined the masses.

“Avengers…” You smirked as sparks of electricity dripped off of your hair and hands. You watched the Mjolnir return to Steve’s hand.

“Assemble!”

The horde of Avengers raced towards Thanos’ army. Metal was clashing and the sounds of fighting were deafening. You stopped focusing on Thanos to help the others fight. The mass of aliens was more important to stop. None of this was worth it if the creatures killed everyone you fought so hard to bring back. You still didn’t have the power of 563 to open portals to deep space so you settled for relying mainly on your other powers.

“Cap? What do you want me to do with this damn thing?” Clint’s voice came in through the comm.

“Get those stones as far away as possible—”

“No!” Bruce cut Steve off. “We need to get them back!”

“Thanos destroyed the quantum tunnel,” Tony said.

“I can take them back, Clint where are you?”

“No, (Y/N). You’ll never get the time stone back, not without leaving yourself there,” Tony shut down your idea.

Scott shrunk back to normal. “That wasn’t our only time machine.”

You heard the weirdest horn start to sound.

“Does anyone see an ugly brown van out there?” Steve asked.

“Yes!” Valkyrie responded. “But you’re not gonna like where it’s parked!”

“Is it in a place I can portal?”

“Sorry, Captain (L/N). Too dangerous.”

“Scott. How long to start it up?” Tony asked.

“Ten minutes.”

“Get it started,” Steve said. “We’ll get the stones to you. Captain, can you find Clint?”

“I’m on i—” you were hit before you could finish responding to Steve. “I’m a bit tied up right now.”

You were in a battle with three of the aliens. Tony landed near Dr. Strange, who just finished taking out a few of the aliens himself.

“Hey. One out of four million chance we win, you said that. This it?” Tony asked.

“If I say what happens, it won’t happen,” Strange answered.

“You better be right.”

Tony sped off, back into the thick of the action. With you preoccupied, Clint was left to run the stones to the van. He was weaving in and out of aliens. T’Challa called out to him and the game of passing the gauntlet till it reached the van began. Thanos threw his weapon to knock out T’Challa, Natasha slid in beside him to grab the gauntlet. Thanos didn’t get the chance to reach them though, Wanda blocking his way.

“You took everything from me.” Her eyes glowed red.

“I don’t even know who you are.”

“You will.”

She noticed the damage you had started and decided to start aiming towards that spot even more. Peter took the gauntlet from Nat before he was picked up by Pepper and tossed to Valkyrie. Wanda destroyed the bottom part of Thanos’ weapon and lifted him off of the ground, slowly pulling apart the rest of his armor.

“Rain fire!” Thanos yelled.

“Sire, our troops,” one of his commanders said.

“Just do it!”

The sudden assault of fire power from the ships took half of the troops out of fighting. Wanda and the others with powers like Dr. Strange had to create protective barriers around the field to stop your troops from getting hit and dying. Valkyrie and Peter were knocked off of her pegasus as a blast of fire power hit them. Captain Marvel destroyed the major spaceship responsible for most of the fire power and landed in front of Peter to get the gauntlet. She and the other women started to run towards the aliens blocking their way to the van.

“Can I get a cover?” Carol asked as she and the other women went past. You jumped up and started blasting aliens out the way.

Thanos grabbed his broken weapon and threw it to the van. The destruction blast of the van blew you all back. The gauntlet flew out of Carol’s hands. Tony looked over, he was the closest to it. Tony raced towards the gauntlet but so did Thanos. Thanos knocked Tony back. Thor hit him before Thanos could grab it. You were worried, it was like the beginning of the fight all over again. He held the axe to Thanos’ neck as Steve ran behind to hold him. The axe almost cut him before Thanos threw his head back to knock Steve off and then slammed forward into Thor to knock him off again.

Thanos slipped the gauntlet on. You and Carol blasted beams at him. You portaled to behind as she continued a front assault. Thanos grabbed Carol by the arm and threw her like a discus straight into you. He raised up his finger and yelled as the stones started to power up and affect him. He was about to snap when Carol jumped up first and grabbed him. She grappled with the gauntlet, keeping Thanos’ fingers spread far apart. You used Natasha’s signature and wrapped your thighs around Thanos’ neck to keep him in a chokehold. Thanos ignored the pain from the arm you hurt and grabbed the power stone from the gauntlet. He used it in his other hand, to knock Carol back again. You were struggling in the chokehold, pulsing electric beams at Thanos’ neck as he slipped the power stone back into the gauntlet.

You looked around to see if any of your other teammates could help. You spotted Tony who was gasping for breath. He wasn’t looking at you and Thanos, he was looking at Dr. Strange. You followed his line of sight to see Strange hold up one finger. Tony nodded and raced towards you, grabbing the gauntlet on Thanos’ hand. You pulled at his neck even harder. You shook your head as you realized what was about to happen. You let go of Thanos’ neck, the release of your hold allowed him to knock Tony away. You grabbed at Thanos’ hand and allowed him to backhand you. Everyone watched in horror as he held the hand with the gauntlet up.

“I told you, I am inevitable. This universe can’t avoid me.”

Thanos snapped and everyone braced themselves. They looked around confused when nothing happened. You started laughing maniacally, making everyone including Thanos turn to you. You were holding the stones in your hand, without any gauntlet.

You winked at Steve who scrambled for his shield, holding it against himself ready for your hard impact. You ran fast and landed hard against the shield, almost pushing Steve back. You jumped off and they watched as a trail of lightning came from your feet as you left Steve’s shield. As you flew over Thanos, you snapped your fingers. The blast rang out.

(end)...

#steve rogers x reader #marvel fic #avengers fic

[senadimell]

You know, as a young ish person who's grown up in a primarily digital world, there's something really grounding about spending time with people older than my parents. Went to a Guild activity last night and it was delightful being with the older ladies there.

Someone offered to drive me home because it was over an hour back to my house by public transit. We're in a city, and she took me back to my home by driving through neighborhoods and back roads, in the dark, to a place she hasn't visited in four years, without a GPS (before I gave her a landmark to drop me off at, I gave her my exact address and she got frustrated with the search engine and said she would just use the paper map in her car).

A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a friend's parent's coworker/boss/friend, and she told me I would learn to find my way around and would know the area like a native. It strikes me that this is what she meant, but she wasn't right--if I were to live here for years and go about it as I had been doing, I wouldn't get native knowledge of the area because I would just be relying on GPS and not actually navigating. If I want to really learn the area, I have to pay attention in a way I only learned how to do (and rarely use) because I spent six months in a foreign country without a smartphone or computer.

The lady who drove me home said something to the effect of "you're new to the area so you won't criticize the route I take. I'm just going to take the way I know so I won't get lost." What I don't think she realized is that even if I had been here for years, I wouldn't criticize the route she took, because I lived in my last area for six years and didn't even learn the name of the highway I took weekly. Stupid GPS brain.

So I'm going to Guild meetings for a Formal Skill, but there's all sorts of other basic, hidden life things that I wouldn't learn on my own. It's also been striking to realize that there's a major gap in expectations about how people operate in the world. Nobody above a certain age who's talked to me about the routes I take seems to realize that I don't actually know the names of roads and exits, or that it's possible to get around. I don't want to continue in ignorance, but if I did, I could get around in a smartphone, live here for probably ten years, and only learn about four street names.

#i'm old enough to have memories of analogue things #but not old enough to really rely on them #e.g. overhead projectors and transparencies in school #and yet video calling on smartphones is the norm #still i'm kind of a baby when it comes down to it #still remember when i was a boarder and the lady tried to reassure me by saying she didn't even know what a memo was when she started worki #A MEMO she said #unaware that i didn't know what a memo was. nor why it should be so fundamental to work #now i do because i work in an older organization with a hefty bureacracy #i went to a training on new e-signing software before realizing i was not the target audience #the target audience was people who are used to printing emails and signing/scanning/faxing forms #not someone who's been using docusign for her past four leases and went to university during covid #i take for granted how much i rely on digital things #so uh. we will see if we can implement the e-signing thing. got my boss to sign a form #and he send me back the most garbled google doc conversion of a pdf #looks like i will just get trained on the e-signing software and request signatures so he won't end up doing that again #to be fair the pdfs we are using are wonky #(but also my my-age coworkers weren't aware of what a pdf editor was or even that they were using their browser to edit pdfs. #they were confused when i asked them what they were using. meh. i refuse to use edge even if it does have a good built-in pdf editor)

[asmallexperiment]

Duncan Abner: August 2005-June 18, 2023

I know I haven't been around here much lately. This is why.

Allison came out to Southern California in April 2005, leaving pastoral Upstate New York for the Whittier experience. She spent a couple of months looking around for work, doing working interviews all over the place: right there in Whittier, Pasadena, Glendale, Rancho Santa Margarita…a few other places. She ended up at Best Friends Animal Hospital, up in North Hollywood, working a slightly shifted schedule that made that a do-able commute from Whittier. She warned me, even before we moved in together, that she would want to get a dog. I was fine with the proposition, though I did say that while I didn’t really care about size or breed, that it might be good to have a dog that had a a calm disposition because I worked from home and needed to be able to manage the dog and my job at the same time.

Duncan was born in early August 2005, as far as we can tell. He was a Maltipoo, mostly white with a little peach coloring that came and went a bit over the years. And he had what you would call an eventful early life. To this day, I don’t really know all the specifics, but he apparently went through four homes over the course of a couple of months. He was cute as all-get-out, but also a little high strung in a way where he had a hard time fitting in. Eventually, he was relinquished at Best Friends and Allison’s coworker, knowing she was looking for a dog and had some relationship with his previous owners, said “your dog is here.”

And he was. Last Sunday, June 18, 2023, we had to say goodbye to him and, honestly, if I think too hard about it even now, I still get very sad. But he lived 17 years and 10 months, which is a long time for a dog, even for a Maltipoo, one of the healthier breeds. The convention is that dogs are “seniors” once they get to age 7; we got almost 11 years after his seventh birthday. A lot of people think informally of dogs as getting about 15 years if all goes well—Duncan made it way past that. I’m sure it helped that his Mom was also his doctor, but I would like to think that we all helped him to enjoy a long, full life.

When he first came to us, his name was “Cubbie.” The name didn’t really feel right to me. He was an objectively small dog, and that would seem to fit “Cubbie,” but we weren’t especially fans of the name—or of the Cubs—and so went ended up trying out a few others. We couldn’t quite sort out whether “Duncan” or “Abner” fit him better, so we settled on “Duncan Abner,” which, of course, became “Duncan” 99% of the time.

While we were both happy to have him around, Duncan and I had some static for the first six months or so. He was, as I noted, high strung, and, I was working from home, looking after him entirely when Allison wasn’t around. His charming but needy personality was not exactly a perfect fit.

We came around to an arrangement at around six months. One of the things that drove me nuts initially but that I came to appreciate is that if he did do something naughty, I would raise my voice and hope that he would leave me alone for a couple of minutes to cool off. That wasn’t how he saw it, though; it didn’t really matter how upset I might get, he would just sit there and look cute and vaguely regretful and, I suppose, try in his way to make it up to me. Worse still, if I left the room, the little bugger would follow me around. It drove me nuts, but part of our eventual agreement was his not being naughty quite so often and my letting him hang around even when I was a little angry that he had done some young dog thing.

We crate-trained him at the beginning. For a while, he just looked like a little fluffball in the corner of the crate, but he got bigger fairly quickly. By the time he was six months old, he could stand on his hind legs and grab the top of the crate, which had to be a good 30 inches up or so. He always thought he was bigger than he was.

He wasn’t bad in the crate. He seemed mostly ambivalent about it as a puppy, but we would leave a little ramekin with him with food or water and he took the habit of getting up a little before 6 am—way before Allison and I would typically have been awake—and clanking the ramekin against the side of the crate like one of those old-timey prisoners banging his tin cup against the bars of his cell, forcing one of us to get up and take him out. It wasn’t too long after that where we reserved the crate for travel and for plopping him on top of after a walk to wipe down his paws.

He was needy in that way, maybe even a bit of a Type A personality, not the type to go wander off on his own. He liked playing, he was affectionate, and liked being around people—though if there were new people, he might bark for a minute to let you know that there was a stranger around. He liked his toys, enough that every once in a while he would have one that was more or less his “woobie.” He could also be a little bit of a terror on some toys, destroying them faster than you would imagine a little guy could. But he was cute and demonstrative and did things that, if you are a dog owner, make you happy to be a dog owner.

Part of that was dog training. The training took place not far from Allison’s work, at Moorpark Park. So we took him to puppy class every Saturday for a couple months. As an aside, Steve Carell’s apartment in The 40-Year-Old Virgin was directly across from where we met for dog training; when I finally Netflix’ed the movie (with Duncan!) about a year later, it was wild to see a place I’d spent a few hours as one of the main settings for what had briefly been the most popular movie in the land. Anyhow, puppy class probably helped a little, though more in developing some basic puppy behavioral rudiments as anything else. Duncan, though smart, was an indifferent student; he was the type of dog who wanted to do the thing he wanted to do. This carried over to the commute. He was perfectly happy to go for a ride, even for 30-45 minutes each way, but he would start whining in complaint the minute we hit traffic, which a drive through Downtown LA—even on a Saturday morning—will typically include in some measure. I don’t think it ever failed to amuse me that he felt about traffic the way the rest of us do.

For graduation day, all the dogs got a little shared puppy cake as a treat. We cut the cake up into portions and there was just a little bit left at the end. Duncan, who might have been 5 pounds soaking wet at that point, tried to chase all the other dogs off the remaining cake, despite many of them being larger, and one that had to be at least eight times his size. Again, he always thought he was bigger than he was.

At least one argument for the name of the history of the Poodle breed is from the German meaning “to splash,” and that certainly fit Duncan to a T. Where Jet, the Shiba Inu, hated the rain, Duncan was happy to be out in the rain and just trot around in it, puddles and raindrops made him equally happy. That didn’t necessarily extend to the bath, but he certainly was always up for a good play in the rain, at least until he got much, much older.

Poodles do have a reputation for being smart, along with being friendly, and he was that, too. Even if he was sort of an indifferent student in his puppy class and we never had him doing agility or anything unusually intellectually taxing for a dog, he definitely had his ways of communicating. He was good about letting us know when he needed to go out, to the point that when I was working, he would come get me in my office if he was somewhere else in the house and I didn’t respond to him right away. Until they stopped agreeing with him later in life, we would give him baby carrots as a treat, usually associated with either a sit-stay-down or a shake. After he’d come to understand the process, he could be very impatient. The minute the bag of carrots came out he was apt to just alternate between sit and down or, even more amusingly, try to shake with both hands at the same time, which looked a little like the smallest Maltipoo pugilist you’ve ever seen.

We took him with us on the first vacation we went on after he joined the family, to go see Allison’s family for Christmas in 2005. Allison’s family is in Central Jersey (yes, I argue that there is such a thing as Central Jersey) and that was the one time we flew into JFK rather than Newark. Allison gorked him enough that he was asleep most of the time, but he was small enough as a baby that we could comfortably put him under the seat in a carrier and he did pretty well on the plane. And yes, he did put the facilities on both ends to good use without making a mess in the carrier on the way. In New Jersey, he did get to enjoy a lot more real estate than he’d been accustomed to that point, but it was also winter in New Jersey for a little Maltipoo, so keeping him warm was periodically a challenge. There was also one day where my father-in-law and I went to go run a few errands and Allison was home with her friend, Jeanine, who was visiting. My in-laws had a full-sized Golden back then who took off after Duncan at one point, including your typical movie-level chase around the Christmas tree, and Jeanine was rewarded for rescuing Duncan from the melee by having him pee all over her. In his defense, there had to be a size ratio of something like 12:1 between his aggressor and him. But he did make it home in one piece.

We also took Duncan and Jet to Palm Springs with us for a long weekend one summer, when the daily highs got up to 117 and even the overnight lows never dropped much below 100 degrees. We ran the air conditioning the whole time and I still think the house was at least 90 the whole trip. We managed to find ways for it to be fun—that it would be hot in Palm Springs in Summer was not a shock—including giving the dogs a spin in the pool. Jet wasn’t having it at all, but Duncan did alright. He was always intrepid like that.

For most of the rest of our travel, Duncan and his brother ended up staying with my parents. They’re on enough land to have a backyard that was more fun for the dogs than were the little patches of grass in our old development (both of the boys certainly made the most of wandering around the development, too, it should be said). My parents at least were polite enough to say that they enjoyed having the dogs around as periodic guests, even that they missed them a little bit when we took them back home. We also were in the habit of bringing the dogs with us when we visited my folks for many years, which was a great arrangement for everyone involved.

If he wasn’t an agility dog or a therapy dog, he did get out into the world a little. Allison has done a bunch of presentations to kids over the years about being a vet, not least to classes with Elizabeth and Sebastian in them. And she would bring Duncan along as a model/hypothetical patient. He always liked attention and was good with little ones, so it was a natural fit for him to be useful.

He was also very good with our kids. He had to make some adjustments to getting used to living with another dog, but having a little human and then two took even more adjustment. The kids loved the dogs, but were not always gentle with them. Jet might give them a wide berth if they seemed a little unruly, but Duncan lived for unruly and was happy to have people around who were much closer to his size. If anything, it was an opportunity for even more attention. And for the kids, the dogs provided a chance to learn how to care for someone else.

He was a very healthy, sturdy dog. He could—and would—run like hell for a surprisingly long time if you encouraged him, sometimes even if you just didn’t actively try to stop him. We lived in a two-story condo in Whittier that had a landing halfway down. Probably my most vivid memory of Duncan is him coming downstairs—because we were calling him to eat most often, but this could happen for all sort of other reasons—where you would hear him head down the top half of the stairs at full tilt, slide a little in the turnaround, take a step or maybe two down the second half of the stairs and leap at full speed to the floor below, landing hard enough that you could hear him exhale from the force of the landing. It was wild.

I think 1B to the 1A of him taking flight is that, when the floor in the dining area was carpeted (we replaced it after a while), he used to love to run laps. Allison and I would stand in the wider area around the dining table, nearer to our living room, and he would run around and then bark at us when he approached, only to disappear back around the table to come back and bark again. There might even be a (playful, gentle) swat at his hindquarters when he came around, which would made him gather himself up a little to bark at us even louder on the next lap. And he could do this for a long time. I guess it’s just a kind of ordinary play I am describing here, but it’s hard to convey how much fun he seemed to be having for all the running and barking and carrying on. And then, when he’d finish, he’d suck down a ton of water, just radiating heat.

Of course, we also played our share of fetch. I gather that not all Maltipoos are big on the fetch thing, but he was almost always ready to play. As a smart guy, he was quick to catch on when we messed with him, not throwing the ball or whatever other shenanigans we were engaged in. He would look around for a little bit, but then come back quickly, seemingly impatient with whatever we had done to try to trick him.

He had some real search skills to him. He was apt to find some toy that had gotten lost in some location where he needed some help to get it and so he would wander off to the spot and then he had a little whine built for the occasion to let us know that our services were required. Allison and I came to ask “Did Billy fall down the well?” whenever he did this. Sometimes what he needed was obvious, but often it was not and I came to marvel at how the hell he could possibly know that something was there. More than once, it took me a while to figure out what he was after, to the point of not believing that he had actually found something, but he was literally never wrong about it. After a while, we came to understand that if we couldn’t figure it out right away, there was going to be a bit of a puzzle to it—sometimes one he would have to help us with. There was always something there.

Dogs may be considered “senior” when they get to 7, but Duncan had to be maybe 11 or 12 before I really noticed him slowing down. He did start taking the second half of the steps more conservatively a little before then. His top speed was probably a little less than it was at half his age, but it wasn’t something I noticed. He was as active and engaged a little guy at 12 as he was at 2. He did start losing his hearing once he hit double-digits. While he was resourceful about finding other ways of navigating the world as his hearing left him, he once had a very sensitive pair of ears, to the point that I once had to carry him home on a walk because they were putting a roof on the clubhouse in Whittier and they were making an ungodly racket in taking the old roof off. But he was able to adapt to these challenges as he got older.

It wasn’t until around his 14th birthday when we got a scare, but it was a good one. I was helping Allison do his anal glands—I took the easy end—and she started crying a few seconds in. He had a mass of a type and in a location that suggested that it was likely to be malignant. Given his age, there wasn’t a great case to be optimistic, but he dodged a bullet by having just a plain old benign tumor that was not especially difficult to remove (by a hell of a specialist, at least). Pretty much every day since then has felt like bonus time. We did have another mass removed back in October; at that point, he was old enough that we were concerned with anesthesia and all the trauma of surgery, but he made it through without any trouble at all and endured the Cone of Shame long enough to heal up nicely. While I understood intellectually that he was getting older, for a long time, he felt like the dog who was just too tough to ever leave this Earth.

His canine “brother” came along when he was two. Jet is his own remarkable story, and I won’t try to tell it all now, but it was a bit of an adjustment for Duncan. Duncan and I had our bond by that time and while our new interloper was definitely cute—and, more to the point, was the calmer, less needy dog I had hoped for from the beginning—Jet was also a little larger than Duncan. To this day I think I may have interrupted the natural order of the world a little. I didn’t want the new guy (Jet) to mess with my little buddy (Duncan) too much. I mostly let them try to sort it out (I wasn’t breaking up fights or anything), but, in the end, Duncan ended up being a little more the Alpha Dog than Jet—and I’m not sure that would have happened if I hadn’t tried to try to even things out a little when Jet showed up.

They were very different dogs, mostly things that would be typical of a Maltipoo and a Shiba Inu. Where Duncan loved the rain, it took everything he had to get Jet to go out. Duncan, ever active, didn’t mind being a little dirty, where Jet was fastidious. Duncan was very extroverted, very human-focused, where Jet tended to be a little more reserved. They were very Felix and Oscar. And yet, they spent most of their time together. Not just that they were in the same house, but if one was in the living room, the other one wouldn’t be far away. If one of them came to visit me in my office while I worked, the other one would almost always show up shortly thereafter. When it was bedtime, they would both make their way to our bedroom. They didn’t really play together very often, but they lived together very closely. Where you would think food would be a problem, for most of their lives, we were very fortunate in that we just free-fed the dogs and kept the water fountain full. They would reliably eat and drink what they needed and both of them were near an optimal weight. Late on, we did have to switch up to feeding the boys individual wet food and Duncan could get a little jealous then, but even that was a mild management issue for a typical pet parent. It was always a fun relationship to watch.

My most vivid memory may have been at the end. When Jet’s time came, in October of 2020, Duncan stayed with us as we said goodbye, all of us sitting on the floor around Jet. After Jet had passed, it took us all a while to let go, of course. But when we got up, Duncan assumed a position right next to his brother, just watching over him. I don’t want to ascribe more to Duncan than is reasonable, but he did seem to understand that it was a time when he needed to be there—and so he was.

If we are being honest, as he got older, Duncan got a little cranky. He always had a little bit of that in him, though he learned pretty young that if he was unhappy he should do a “warning bite” rather than an actual bite. As an old man, if you did something to him that actually hurt, even though it would be inadvertent, there was certainly a chance that you could get a real bite. Not in the manner of an aggressive dog, mind you—I always felt that the Old Duncan in cranky mode was like that legendary bit from the Seinfeld episode “The Marine Biologist”: “The sea was angry that day, my friends…like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” He could be the old man at times in his last couple years, but it was a fairly harmless, almost affable kind of grouchiness. I think was just a little bit of a personality that was directed to other people, to the world. And the old guy would get a little pissed when it wronged him.

Duncan was born in August of 2005. At times, I think I still don’t fully appreciate how long ago August 2005 was, so here’s a frame of reference. It was in some ways not an especially auspicious month; Hurricane Katrina happened at the end of it. To the good, we should recognize that the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter launched on the 12th. We lost Mo Mowlam, Peter Jennings, and Gene Mauch. George W. Bush was president and Barack Obama was in his first year on the job as Senator. Tony Blair was still Prime Minister, though his popularity was starting to wane. Angela Merkel, who was Chancellor forever, would take over from Schröder at the end of the year.

When we play this game, we tend to rely a lot on cultural references, so: Apple had just introduced podcast support in iTunes, so some of those early podcasts like “Buzz Our Loud” and “Daily Source Code” started finding their homes more easily and what is now a massive industry was getting underway. Joe Rogan was calling UFC, doing Fear Factor, and making a guest appearance on The Chappelle Show back then. He hadn’t even started the podcast that has earned him nine figures and may or may not eventually sink Spotify.

The three number one movies of the month were The Dukes of Hazzard, Four Brothers, and the aforementioned The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Revenge of the Sith; The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe; and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire were all coming a little later on in the year.

CSI was relatively early in its run and the dominant show in the land. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Weeds, and Peppa Pig all debuted. The Sopranos was in the long interregnum between season 5 and the extended season 6, The Wire was between seasons 3 and 4, and Six Feet Under uncorked its legendary final episode. In prestige network television, The West Wing was going into its final season; Lost was still somewhat comprehensible, starting its second season; and 30 Rock, which ran for 139 episodes, won 16 Emmys, and finished its run more than 10 years ago,was still a year out from launch.

In the world of music, Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” was in the midst of a long run at #1, to be replaced by “Gold Digger” (what a trip Kanye has been on…). Rihanna released Music From The Sun. Rock Star: INXS was in the middle of going from a standard-issue reality show to a ratings bust to a niche phenomenon. Long enough ago that the winner, J.D. Fortune, was in the band for six years, was replaced, and the band has still been retired for a decade. I went to Rush’s last show on the R40 tour about eight years ago; they were on the R30 tour in August of 2005.

My time with Duncan includes more than a third of my life. When we got him, it would not have been unreasonable to think of me as a fairly young adult—that’s certainly what I thought of myself. I was still in grad school, learning some of the things in my professional life I would lean on a lot later. I had the sleep habits of a younger man, for sure. Since then, I’ve gotten married, had two kids, bought a house, switched jobs a few times, and have welcomed new family (and family-ish) members into my life while losing loved ones.

I don’t want to quite put myself out to pasture, but I meet the standard qualifications for AARP membership now, beat fellow Long Beach native Cameron Diaz to the Brimley Cocoon Line by a few days, and may have gotten the odd (if generous) senior discount over the last couple years. Some of that latter bit might just be a reflection of a failure to preserve myself adequately, but I am in a different phase of my life now that I was when Duncan entered it, to be sure.

For me, this is the most profound way I can mark the time. My father passed away in November 2018, which feels simultaneously as though it just happened and like something in the distant past. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. When we got Duncan, my Dad would come up to fix stuff in the condo (we were renting from them). As I noted, my folks looked after the dogs when we decamped on several trips; it wasn’t really until Jet needed some extra medical support that we started making other plans when we traveled. And yet that, too, is now in a past that is not so proximate.

Part of what makes this hard for me is that I have spent as much time with Duncan as just about anyone else in my life. I have been working from home for all but a couple of years of Duncan’s life. My wife and parents probably have a little more time with me and my actual children will presumably get there. But, with the exception of a little bit of work travel and vacation, I’ve spent large chunks of every day with him for nearly 18 years. And so I mourn losing not only a companion of many years, but also someone who gave me ready access to a younger me, at least in shared memory. A couple hours before we had to say goodbye to Duncan, Noah Smith published his recollection of his pet rabbit (and exploration of why rabbits make great pets) and, at one point, says “Rabbit-keeping is about turning a cruel world into a gentle one.” Dogs aren’t prey in quite the way rabbits are, so the dynamics are different, but Duncan was just a sharp, funny, sweet soul that he deserved the best life he could have. I know we tried hard to give him as much as he gave us.

For now, we grieve, but also remember. Duncan, we love you.

#duncan abner #duncan #pet parenting #remembering my canine companion

[crispyfryenperu]

The Shrimp and Apple Festival

I’ve been 6 Months in Peru PLUS it’s about to be thanksgiving, and I do miss home now. Even though I have multiple homes, Concord, Seattle, Los Angeles, and even Tucson. Someone warned me that in Latin America you don’t have everything at your fingertips the way you do in the US. And they were right, I miss all the different cuisines I can get even in Concord, the 5 different options in chocolate cake mix, and 5 more options of already-baked-and-frosted chocolate cakes. The 100s of options of ice cream. The vegan options. And of course my amazing friends and family. 

At the end of October, right alongside Halloween, we celebrated el Festival del Cameron, y la Manzana. There were many festivities including a photo contest, best apple, cooking contests, miss Chiquitita, Miss Calango, battle of the bands, and several fairly big bands that came on two different evenings for people to dance. 

The Apple Contest

The Miss Chiquitita (Miss very tiny - because the age range is like 4-6 year olds) and the Miss Calango were the loudest, most attended events. Categories included ball gowns, recycled fashion, traditional Peruvian outfits, and swimsuits. They all did some small dances together and answered some questions about values, family, and Calango. The event is celebrated as women’s empowerment which is a  odd. They did not showcase any talents, although a few famous impersonators did perform while the contestants changed to their next sparkly outfit and recurled their hair. Some of my friends watched the ordeal from the single rooftop restaurant in our town, mostly laughing at the situation. Coworkers, neighbors, children, men, and women spent over 5 hours in the plaza drinking and cheering, for each event on the two different nights. Both contests ended around 1 am. The winner of Miss Calango was a 15 year old girl I teach and play soccer with. Most of the other contestants were closer to 20 years old. 

Of course, I participated in the festivities too, not quite as a queen of Calango but in the shrimp-hunting contest. A lot of people told me that they hunt shrimp, including my host mom and her friends, so I assumed that borrowing the buzo (goggles) from someone would be easy. But in the end I couldn’t find anyone that had some! My site partner Ryan also decided to shrimp hunt, as well as our friend, a German volunteer named Nieke. Despite Nieke finding out and signing up day-of, she was able to find a buzo and a shrimping net. They dropped us off at the shrimp hunting site, and then we waited an hour or so until the hunt finally started.

Now you might be thinking, what does Cristina know about shrimp hunting? ….nothing. But supposedly all you need to do is look into the water, check underneath rocks, and grab the shrimp. Just try not to let them pinch you. 

So there I was with my camping pants, Lake-Sammamish-half-marathon-dry-fit-long-sleeve, my brother’s camo full-brim hat, fake chacos from India, and a plastic bag tied to my waste that kept filling up with water… and I got in the river with the other participants and crawled along in the water, feeling under all of the rocks. But, the water was running fast, and I could see exactly 0 shrimp. Plus I didn’t have goggles. And also what color is a shrimp? In the water?  I didn’t want to get bitten… So I was  grateful for the professional shrimpers who showed up in their wetsuits to compete. They traveled up the river ahead of me, hopefully catching all the big shrimp that could pinch me. So I trodded along the river on all fours, picking up and moving rocks, hoping I looked like I knew how to catch shrimp. My muni friends tried to help Ryan, Nieke, and I find shrimp, so that we wouldn’t make complete fools out of ourselves. Except most of my muni friends don’t know anything about catching shrimp either. Fortunately one of them did, and he found a small shrimp for each of us to put in our bags. In the 49th minute of our 50 minute allowed time, I found my very own shrimp under a rock near the edge of the river! I moved super carefully to move the rock and scoop it into my bag. I think this has been my greatest achievement of Peace Corps so far. Afterwards, Nieke, Ryan, and I tried to put the shrimp bag in the river.. but some of their arms had fallen off, and they floated away with the current… very tragic. I bragged all month about my skills, but my host mom asked why i didn’t bring the shrimp home to eat it. My host siblings said at least I did better than my host Mom the last time she went out shrimping at midnight and returned at 5 am with two shrimp. 

This is posted, several weeks after writing it, and even several more weeks after the occurrences. 

[frenchtoastie]

Not rlly a post to pay attention to, just being bitter I guess

#just reminded especially today #like it’s a weird dichotomy of being a very romantic/daydreamy person vs knowing it’s probably something I’m never going to get or have #I really don’t think I’m an easy person to love in a romantic sense I’m too difficult to deal with #I just don’t get taken seriously as anything more than a friend not to mention I have so many problems someone would have to deal with once #they get to know me better #like the first part of that definitely stems from me looking and having energy that is much younger than I actually am #people really do think I look 16 or 17 and many think my mental age is about the same #like my coworkers spent four months thinking I was that age #and people my age aren’t looking for someone who seems so young bc they are sensible #and then the people who do show interest are strikingly obvious that they are into the fact I seem much younger #someone gave me their number before right after they said they couldn’t believe I was as old as I am and thought I was much younger? #they told me I had childlike energy? #and so many people see me as ‘adorable and sweet’ and ‘can’t see me as anything more than a friend’ #and it’s so terrible to watch people not taking me seriously at all #I’m not an adult enough for most everyone #and then that doesn’t even touch on any of my other problems #besides the whole mental age thing people wouldn’t get over just the way my brain is anyway is probably so hard to love #the adhd autism is just not practical for any other person to deal with and the ups and downs of everything I don’t want to put #someone through like they shouldn’t have to put up with me at my lowest #no one would want me at my lowest anyway #and then my whole lack of experience I just daydream all the time but I don’t really know what anything is like #I would be a terrible partner to anyone because I don’t really know things I only think I know things from what I’ve read in books and seen #in movies and those aren’t real and I can’t have anything real #and it’s just today that reminds me that it’s not something I get to have and nothings ever going to come close to it #and that really I don’t deserve it either #and no one talk to me about it bc you’re not going to change my mind #and nothing you say is going to make any difference or make anything better

[criminalmindzjunkie]

The More Loving One

Masterlist

Summary: Professor Reid finds himself falling for a student. 

A/N: This fic is based on this request. I changed a few things up, but I hope you like the finished product!

Long time, no see! It seems like forever since I got to sit down and just enjoy writing something. And enjoy this, I did. I approached this one a bit differently than I usually do, but I like how it turned out none the less. I hope you all enjoy my take on the Professor Reid arc. The first poem I use in this fic is titled The More Loving One by W.H. Auden, and the second is from a collection of Perry poetry.

Also, I recently hit 2k followers, which is absolutely unbelievable. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for each and every one of you. This fic is my love letter to you. Thank you all so much. 

Pairing: Professor!Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content Warnings: a few swear words maybe?, teacher x student relationship, age gap, exhibitionism (sorta?), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex

Word Count: 4k

           For as long as Spencer can remember, he’s always had a predilection for the finer things in life.

           Spencer attributes the origin of his preferences to his upbringing. In his childhood, before his mother’s disease got the better of her, she exposed him to all sorts of literature. While he ventured to read all types of writings, he’d always been partial to tales of extravagance. A young Spencer Reid sought refuge in the profligacy of it all, as it was so starkly different from his own reality. Forced to bear the burden of household and a sick mother from an early age, Spencer’s own life left little room for reckless indulgence.

           Now, as a single adult male, Spencer makes it a point to give himself up to the finer things as often as he can. Spencer isn’t a rich man, nor is he careless with what hard-earned money he does have. He simply likes to treat himself to the occasional five-star meal, and even more frequently, posh clothing and rare books. Walls lined with hundreds of antiquarian novels and a closet full of Comme Des Garçon cardigans are where the indulgence ends, however, and until recently Spencer was content with this.

           But when she strolls into his life on the very first day of his teaching career, Spencer knows that his small luxuries will no longer be enough to keep him satisfied. The part of him that longs to have only the very best roars to life as he takes in every perfect inch of her. She stands before him, the embodiment of divinity and grace, looking like every fantasy he only dares to conjure up in the late hours of the night. A litany of cliches from every piece of romantic literature he’s ever read spring to the forefront of his mind in the instant that her eyes met his, but there is nothing stereotypical about the way her gaze banishes the air from his lungs. It is as jarring as it is intoxicating. He never wants to look away.

           Unfortunately, she doesn’t feel the same. With a light flush of her cheeks, she turns away from him, and in an equally unfortunate turn of events, she proceeds to shuffle down the aisle and into the second row of seats to the right of the podium. The realization that washes over him feels like ice water in his veins.

           She’s a student. Worse even – she’s his student.

           Spencer wrenches his gaze from her as if he’s been burned, and the fiery shame of his embarrassment makes him tug at his collar. As he struggles to stave away the lingering heat in his chest and even more embarrassingly, the tightness in his trousers, Spencer chastises himself. His own carnal urges often go ignored, a fact that is glaringly obvious as he cowers behind his podium in an attempt to hide his arousal. He feels more than a little bit pathetic. No self-respecting thirty-five-year-old man gets hard just from gazing upon a beautiful young woman.

           When Spencer pulls himself together enough to start his lecture, he positively forbids himself to look her way. It is hard to fight the urge, but every time he catches his eyes wandering to her, he reminds himself that she is an indulgence he simply cannot partake in. No matter how badly he wants to.

--

           It doesn’t take long for her to notice him noticing her.

           In the early days of the semester, she manages to convince herself that the stolen glances are but a figment of her overactive imagination. That, or an unhealthy dose of wishful thinking. But as the semester stretches on and the professor’s eyes linger more and more, wishful thinking gives way to a startling realization that she isn’t alone in her attraction. Professor Reid is, to her complete and utter astonishment, just as taken with her as she is with him.

           This is all but confirmed when a slight brushing of the hands during an exchange of papers leaves them both with flushed cheeks and pounding hearts. Both of their heads snap up, two sets of eyes meeting in a prolonged stare that results in an understanding of sorts. It’s mutual, this thing blossoming between them. She can see her own hopes reflected in two velvet pools of brown – can see the longing, the desire that burns within them. Her heart soars, as she imagines his does, and she accepts the papers with a smile.

           She also imagines that, if he could, he would tell her to wait for him. He would tell her that, for now, their relationship must stay strictly professional.

           This doesn’t stop them from sating their cravings in other ways.

           She makes it a point to stop by during office hours at least twice a week. Her visits always fall under the guise of her studies, but within minutes their hushed conversations stray from the professional and towards a more personal nature. She learns of Spencer’s mother and her condition, of his unusual job and his coworkers that were more like family. In return, she tells him about her upbringing in southern California, as well as her dreams of becoming a criminal psychologist. They never go as far as to discuss what will happen when the semester comes to a close. It is an unspoken agreement that the end of the semester will find them in each other’s arms. All they have to do is wait.

           Spencer can’t voice his affections with words, but he more than makes up for this with his actions. Without fail, every Monday following the very first clandestine brushing of hands, lavish bouquets of flowers arrive at her workplace. Each bouquet is always paired with a notecard inscribed with a brief explanation of the meaning behind that week’s flower of choice. Cherry blossoms to pay homage to her beauty, plumeria to symbolize their new beginning, agrimony to convey his thankfulness that she is willing to wait for him.

           Her favorite bouquet arrives four weeks before the end of the semester. As she steps through the doors of the bakery, a vase full of nine red roses sits atop the counter. The sight of them nearly takes her breath away. She pauses for a moment and runs her fingertips across the velveteen petals before plucking the notecard from its place.

           This week, Spencer chooses to forgo the explanation in favor of a messily scrawled poem;

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

that, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

we have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn 

with a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

let the more loving one be me. 

           That evening, Spencer receives his first bouquet from her. On his desk sits an arrangement of pale pink ambrosia.

           The meaning isn’t lost on him, but if it were, the note that sits next to the vase makes her intentions clear.

We never had to force love.

We were drowning in it from the moment we met.

--

           Spencer is horribly frustrated.

           A mere twenty feet away from where he stands, the notoriously garish and wholly unprofessional PhD program director is gesticulating wildly to the young woman that stands trapped between him and the hors d’oeuvre table. To find Professor Van Wesep in such a position is not uncommon, due to his penchant for trying to charm (terrorize) the prospective female doctoral candidates. The man is practically a walking harassment complaint waiting to happen. Spencer would abhor Van Wesep even if he weren’t the only thing standing in the way of him and his lover.

           At long last, the semester has drawn to a close. The lonely nights spent longing to hold her in his arms are a thing of the past. By the time the sun rises again, Spencer will no longer have to wonder what her body will feel like pressed against his. He’ll be thoroughly acquainted with every inch of her, and she with him. The thought sends a thrilled chill down his spine.

           The torturous foreplay they’ve been engaging in for the last four months would have surely broken a lesser man. Spencer would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted on more than one occasion to have her during one of her frequent visits to his office. Some days, when her visits came later in the evenings, just as the sun began to dip low in the sky, her eyes would glisten in such a way that told Spencer her thoughts were none dissimilar to his own. That glimmer of lust had him holding on to his restraint by the skin of his teeth.

           And here they were, on the last evening of the semester. Final grades had been submitted and were released hours prior. Spencer would have been content to skip this event altogether, in favor of more… recreational activities, but his lover insisted on attending.

           Initially, Spencer assumed her insistence lay in her desire to mingle with her future peers and mentors. Her true intentions come to light when she breezes into the room clad in a pair of sleek, designer pumps. Her lips, painted fire engine red, curl up into a playful smile at the sight of a slack-jawed Spencer Reid. The devious glint in her eye twinkles sinfully in the light.

           Tonight isn’t a social call at all. Tonight, she wants to play with him.

           And play she has.

           From the second she arrives all eyes are fixating on her celestial beauty. Peers and mentors alike trip over themselves in their haste to capture her attention, if only for a fleeting moment. She works the room flawlessly, leaving a trail of smitten men of all ages in her wake.

           The most smitten is Spencer himself, because he’s the lone recipient of countless heated glances, as well as more than a few knowing smirks. She well aware of what she’s doing to him, and she takes pleasure in watching him squirm.

          Spencer intervenes when Van Wesep makes the ill-advised decision to reach a hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. He barely has the time to withdraw his hand before Spencer is upon them.

          “I apologize for the interruption,” Spencer casts a faux apologetic glance at his colleague, before settling his gaze on his target. “Ms. Y/L/N, may I speak to you for a moment?”

           She looks positively gleeful. Perhaps Spencer should have intervened hours ago.

           “Absolutely, Professor Reid.”

           The honorific sends a jolt of heat straight to his groin. He definitely should have stolen her away earlier.

           The two of them say their goodbyes to a confused Professor Van Wesep, whose imploring eyes follow them as they hurriedly slip from the party and down the hallway.

--

           “Where are we going?”

           Spencer leads her down a long corridor, far beyond earshot of the other guests. Pushing her into a dark corner, he positions her between himself and the cold wooden door of an unoccupied office. The only sounds that can be heard are the distant thrum of the music and the eager pants falling from his lover’s lips.

           Spencer pulls her into a searing kiss, one hand tangling in her hair and the other finding purchase on her waist. He worries for a moment that he’s being too rough with her, that he should have taken a more careful approach to their first kiss, but she assuages those worries when she kisses him back with equal enthusiasm. Her hand reaches between them and clutches his tie, then she’s pulling him closer and whining wantonly against his lips. Spencer takes this as an invitation to slip his tongue inside and he finds himself letting out a low groan when he tastes a hint of strawberry.

           Spencer pulls away to catch his breath. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

           “Oh, I think I do, Professor,” she laughs, breathless. “Probably just as long as I’ve wanted to do this.”

           Spencer jolts forward when her hand slides down to cup him over his trousers.

           “Could’ve done that a lot earlier if you hadn’t insisted on teasing me for the entire night,” Spencer growls through gritted teeth. He’s more than a little proud of his ability to string together a sentence with her hand working him over with slow, steady strokes.

           He trails a line of kisses across the underside of her jaw, before taking her earlobe and nipping it lightly with his canine. Spencer’s actions are rewarded with a full body shudder. He dips his tongue in the hollow at the base of her throat and her hands ball into fists against his dress shirt.

           “Spencer, please.”

           Spencer hums and pulls back to look at her. The hand in her hair lowers, and he trails a thumb across where her nipples are hard against the fabric of her dress.

           “Yes, my love?”

           Her eyes flutter against the weight of her arousal, and Spencer twitches in his pants. The sight of her with her hair disheveled and her lipstick smeared on account of him is a heavenly thing. He doesn’t know how he ever deprived himself of such a splendor.

           “I want you. Right now.” She punctuates her words by pulling him down into a frenzied kiss. One of her hands tangles itself in the hair at the nape of his neck while the other busies with tugging his shirt out of his pants.

           “Right now?” Spencer taunts, mouth against mouth. His hand trails down the side of her breast, caressing her rib cage and her hip before stopping at her upper thigh. Spencer’s fingertips toy with the tops of her lace thigh highs. “But anyone could walk by and see us.”

           “I don’t care,” she argues, fumbling clumsily as she struggles to undo his belt buckle.

           Spencer’s wandering hand dips below the hem of her dress to explore the silky-smooth skin of her inner thigh. She’s soft here, too, he thinks to himself as his hand travels up, up, up. He stops just short of where she wants him most and she lets out a despairing cry.

           “You wouldn’t mind someone walking by and seeing you with your pretty legs spread wide for your professor?”

           Spencer brings life to his words by lifting her leg up, hitching her thigh around his hip and pressing into her. The silk fabric of her dress rustles as he pushes it up and out of the way.

           A breathy moan tumbles from her lips as he rocks against her, dragging his arousal up and down the front of her lace panties. The friction is maddening in that it provides only the smallest bit of relief. It’s not enough for Spencer, and judging by the way she desperately pushes down the fabric of his pants, it’s not enough for his partner, either.

           “Need to get these off now,” she murmurs against Spencer’s mouth. An eager hand tugs at the elastic band of his underwear.

           Spencer places his hand on hers, stilling her movements. “Not so fast, baby. Gotta make sure you’re ready for me first.”

           Her fingers clamp down on Spencer’s wrist, guiding him to the sodden lace between her thighs.

           “Don’t think that’s gonna be a problem,” she whimpers as Spencer’s fingers take appraisal of the drenched cloth. “In fact, I think four months of foreplay is sufficient enough. Wouldn’t you say?”

           “Maybe so,” Spencer muses, voice muffled as he sucks at the skin of her neck. “But I’m not willing to chance hurting you our first time together. You’re entirely too precious to me.”

           Spencer captures her lips in a kiss so sweet it has her sighing into his mouth. When he pulls away, he fixes her with a smile.

           “You’re not particularly fond of these panties, are you?”

           Her eyebrows pull together. “No, why?”

           Spencer pulls at the flimsy fabric harshly and it gives way under the force of it. He reaches back to stuff the thong in his back pocket.

           “That’s why.”

           Spencer’s lips come down against hers at the same time his middle and index fingers drag across her slickness. His foresight pays off when his mouth muffles the sound of her cries. As confident he is that they won’t be found, a cry like that would certainly have drawn unwanted attention.

           The swipe of his thumb across her crest paired with the gentle pressure of his fingers dipping into her heat is enough to make her legs buckle. Had it not been for Spencer pressing her against the wall, she surely would have fallen to the ground in a trembling heap.

           “I could get lost in you for hours,” Spencer groans, curling his fingers inside her in such a way that makes her clutch desperately to his shirt.

           “Spencer, oh my God,” she keens. “I need you, please.”

           “You have me, my love,” Spencer whispers the promise against her parted lips. “You’ve had me since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

           Spencer speeds up the onslaught of his fingers until the telltale tightening of her heat warns him of her impending climax. He has to bite down on his lower lip to regain his own composure. The feeling of her tight and wet around his fingers is almost too good.

           “Spencer, I’m getting close,” she whimpers.

           Spencer continues until she’s on the cusp of tumbling over the edge, until one more pass of his fingers against her crest would surely seal the deal, and then he’s removing his hand and taking a step back.

           “Spencer, what the fu-,” she pauses when he promptly shoves his pants and underwear just enough to free himself from their painful confines. “Oh.”

           A dazed smile makes its way to her face as Spencer presses himself against her once more. He sweeps her up into a kiss comprised of pure, unadulterated desire, before pulling away and smirking deviously at her.

           “Jump.”

           It takes a moment for her pleasure fogged brain to make sense of the request, but as soon as it does, she complies without question.

           Spencer’s hands grip her thighs firmly and in one swift thrust he sheaths himself into her fully – an indulgence so grand that all others dull in comparison. Now that he’s had the finest, felt it wrapped around him like warm velvet, he can’t imagine a world in which he must live without it.

           “Spencer!”

           Spencer swears he’s never heard a sweeter sound than her crying out his name as their bodies come together for the first time. It’s synonymous with a siren call, he thinks, because in that moment she could lure him to certain death and he knows he would go with a smile.

           His lips seek purchase on the exposed skin of her chest as he buries himself in her paradise again and again. The sharp sting of her heels digging into his back with every thrust brings out a sort of primal urge in him, spurring him to rut up into her like a man possessed.

           “You feel perfect,” Spencer groans out against the flushed skin of her neck. He presses a soft kiss to where her pulse bounds just beneath the skin before pulling away and locking eyes with her. “When I’m old and gray and can remember nothing else, I’ll remember this. I’ll remember how it felt to kiss you for the first time – how it felt to touch you. How it felt to worship you and make love to your body.”

           Spencer’s voices catches, thick and overwhelmed with emotion.

           “I’ll remember how it feels to love you.”

           Her breath catches in her throat and sharp pang of panic burns hot in his chest. Had he misinterpreted her affections? Did she not burn for him in the same way? Perhaps the ambrosia meant nothing. Spencer’s movements falter, and for several torturous seconds he’s nearly paralyzed with fear.

            She silences those fears with a kiss.

           “Oh, Spencer,” she sighs as she presses her forehead against his. “I love you, too. More than you could ever comprehend.”

           Spencer resumes moving in and out of her, but the frenzied feeling from before is replaced with something else now. Something softer, but no less passionate.

           “Yeah?” he inquires, searching her eyes for any trace of insincerity. He finds none, and it’s a relief. Any hint of falseness in her claim would surely lead to a heartbreak he could never recover from.

           “Yes.” The word trails off into a moan. “I love you, Spencer Reid. I don’t imagine I’ll ever stop.”

           Spencer’s heart jolts and he whines pathetically against her mouth. “I’m counting on that.”

           “I’m close, Spencer,” she pants, her breath hitting his face in warm puffs. “Don’t think I can last much longer.”

           “Me, too.” Spencer nudges her nose with his own. “Reach between us and touch yourself, my love. I want us to cum together. Can you do that for me?”

           She nods, and the hand that clung to his right shoulder dips in between them to rub tight circles against her crest. Spencer doubles his efforts when he sees her eyelids flutter closed, and the resulting tightening of her core leaves him panting hard.

           “Spencer, I-” her breath catches in her throat as Spencer delivers a particularly strong thrust. Her head falls against his shoulder, her soft moans of his name like heaven to his ears.

           “Cum with me, baby,” Spencer grunts out desperately. He needs it like he needs air to breath and water to drink. And once he has it, he knows he’ll need it again and again.

           She gives it to him with a muffled cry of his name and he’s instantly swept away, drowning in the blissful way her body sings for him. His body follows her lead, shattering completely under her fingertips.

           While he’s been through similar acts with previous partners, those instances always felt impersonal and clinical. The caresses and whispered words were all a means to an end, an end that usually left him feeling lonelier and emptier than when he started. But right now, as he feels the beat of her heart pressed against his own, he swears he couldn’t feel fuller - full of adoration, full of affection, full of love. It’s beautiful and overwhelming and everything Spencer didn’t know he was looking for.

           A raucous round of applause erupts from the direction of the party, startling the two of them. Spencer feels her laugh against his neck.

           “It’s almost as if they were applauding us for a job well done.”

           Spencer presses a chaste kiss to the crown of her head.

           “As they should. That was sensational.”

           Spencer carefully pulls out and lowers her to the floor. He wastes no time in tilting her chin up and capturing her lips in a reverent kiss. Spencer hopes his lips convey his gratitude.

           The two of them pull apart and set to making themselves presentable. Their efforts prove to be in vain when Spencer points out a dark purple love bite nestled into the crook of her neck. She counters this by taking note of the smudge of red lipstick on his collar.

           “What an adulterous pair we make, Professor.”

           Spencer rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “I’m not your professor anymore.” He bends down and places a kiss to her lips before taking her hand in his.

           “I suppose you’re not,” she muses as they meander down the corridor. “Whatever shall we do now?”

           As the two of them step out of the dark hallway and reenter the party, Spencer smiles to himself. Visions of wedding rings flit through his mind. Spencer supposes he’ll have to take a break from the posh clothing and rare books in favor of saving his money. He’ll buy only the finest ring for his future wife, after all.

           “I have a few ideas.”

-

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[starshapedkookie]

Southpaw

pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)

genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au

includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing

premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys) 

quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!

recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)

_____

The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.

“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.

“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.

The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.

“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.

“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”

“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”

You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”

“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”

“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”

He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.

Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him. 

No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.

“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.

“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.

The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.

“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly

“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”

You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.

“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.

“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.

“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.

“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.

“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?

Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.

You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.” He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.

Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.

At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.

Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.

You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.

That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.

You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.

“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.

“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.

“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.

“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.

“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.

“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.

_____

The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.

“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.

“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.

“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.

“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.

He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”

“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.

Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?

Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.

Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.

“Hyung! Come on,” Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”

Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.

“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.

“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.

“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.

“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.

“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.

“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.

“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.

“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.

“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.

“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.

Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.

“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.

Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.

Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.

“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.

“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.

“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.

Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”

You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.

“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.

“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.

You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”

You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.

“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.

“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.

“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.

“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”

“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.

“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.

“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.

Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.

You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.

“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.

“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.

“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.

“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.

“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.

“Oh god,” you mutter.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.

“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.

“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.

“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.

“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.

“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.

“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.

“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“

“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.

“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.

“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.

You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”

“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.

The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.

“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.

“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.

“Uh, do you need any—“

“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.

Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.

“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.

Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.

“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.

“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”

Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.

“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.

“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.

“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.

“Okay, thanks again.”

You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat. 

_____

The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.

You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.

“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.

Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.

You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.

“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”

“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.

“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.

“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.

“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.

“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.

“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.

The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.

You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.

You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along. 

Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again. 

“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.

“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.

“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.

He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.

“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?

“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.

“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.

“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.

“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.

“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.

“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.

“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.

“Hm,” you mumble.

“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.

Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”

He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.

“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.

He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.

“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”

Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.

“Sure,” you answer simply.

“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?

“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?

_____

On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.

You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.

“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”

“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”

“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”

“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.

“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”

“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.

[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?

“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.

“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.

“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.

“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”

“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.

“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.

Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I know right,” you say.

“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.

“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”

Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”

“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.

“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.

“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.

“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.

“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.

“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.

“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”

“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.

You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.

[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!

_____

Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.

“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.

“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room

“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he smiles.

“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

_____

“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.

“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.

“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.

It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.

“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.

“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.

“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.

“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.

Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.

“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.

You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.

“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.

Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.

You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.

“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?

“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.

“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.

“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.

“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.

“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.

“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.

“Most definitely not,” you say.

“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.

“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.

“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.

Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.

[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day

[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now

Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.

“Whose that?” He asks.

You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”

Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”

Your face drops and you don’t say anything.

“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.

About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.

“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.

Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.

You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”

Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”

Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.

“What are majoring in now?”

“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.

“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”

“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.

“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.

“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly. 

Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh. 

“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.

Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”

The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.

“Why not?” You press.

He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”

You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.

Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.

“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.

“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.

You don’t say anything so he continues.

“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.

“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.

Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.

You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“

“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”

He looks taken aback, “W-what?”

“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.

Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“

“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”

“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”

You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.

“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.

“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.

“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.

“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“

“You don’t treat me like it—“

“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.

Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”

You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.

“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”

“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.

“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.

You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you. 

“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.

“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“

“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”

What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.

“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.

“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.

“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.

“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”

You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.

“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.

“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.

He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“

“Whoa, what?”

“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”

“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.

“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”

“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.

“…Okay?” You say slowly.

“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.

“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”

“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.

“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”

“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.

“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.

“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.

“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”

“What no—“

“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.

“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.

“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.

“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.

“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.

“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.

“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.

“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.

“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.

“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”

“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?

“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”

“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.

“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.

“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.

His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.

“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”

Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.

_____

“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”

You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.

“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.

“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.

“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.

“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.

“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.

You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.

“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.

She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.

“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.

“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”

You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”

“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”

You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.

“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.

You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.

You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.

_____

It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?

“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“

“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”

You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.

“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.

“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“

“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic.  “Jungkook what—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.

“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.

“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.

“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”

“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.

The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.

“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”

“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.

“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.

“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.

You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”

“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”

He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.

“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”

“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.

“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”

You give him a nod, “See you soon.”

_____

Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.

“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.

“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.

“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”

Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.

“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”

“Right… thanks Mark.”

“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”

_____

Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.

Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.

“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.

“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.

“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.

“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.

Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.

“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.

“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.

_____

Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.

“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.

“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.

The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.

“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”

You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.

“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.

“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.

“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.

“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”

“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.

“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.

“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”

“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.

The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.

[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight

[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu

Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.

[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check

You laugh at your phone.

[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol

“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”

You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.

Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?

Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.  

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.

“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.

“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.

“Jennie here?” He asks.

“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”

“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“

“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!

The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.

“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”

“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.

“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.

The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?

“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.

“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.

“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”

Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?

To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.

The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.

“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.

“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.

“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.

Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.

“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“

“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”

Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.

“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.

“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.

“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“

“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”

You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”

He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.

You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.

“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“

“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.

“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”

“W-why? Who would want—“

“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”

The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?

“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”

“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.

“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”

“Okay? And?”

“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere  at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.

“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.

“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”

You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.

“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.

“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.

You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”

You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.

You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.

“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.

“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”

“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.

You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.

“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.

You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.

Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“

“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Um,” he speaks first, “We should go back inside,” he says.

You nod, “Yeah, we should.”

You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.

“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“

“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.

“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.

“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.

“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“

“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.

“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.

“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.

Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.

“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.

“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up. 

“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.

As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

_____

It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.

Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?

You had no idea.

It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.

“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”

Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”

You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”

“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”

You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.

If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.

The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.

He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?

“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!” 

Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight. 

“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him. 

“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.

“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook. 

“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.

“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”

Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”

You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.

“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all. 

“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.

You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”

You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.

Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.

“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.

“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend. 

“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.

“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”

Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.

“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”

You smile to him, “You too.”

Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.

“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.

“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.

“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.

“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.

“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.

You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”

He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.  

“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.

“What? No Y/N—“

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.

“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.

“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”

He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.

Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?

“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”

He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.

“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”

You sure hoped he was right.

_____

Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.

“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.

“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.

“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”

You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.

Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.

“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”

You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.

“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.

“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—

You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?

“You okay?” He asks with concern.

You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.

“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”

You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.

“Y/N.”

You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.

“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.

“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.

“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.

“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.

You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”

“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.

“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”

“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.

“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.

“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.

You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.

“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.

“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.

“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“

“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“

“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”

You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.

You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.

_____

Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?

Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.

“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.

“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.

“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.

“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.

“Coming right up.”

It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.

“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.

The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”

“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.

“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”

You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.

“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”

You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.

“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.

“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.

“He mentioned it.”

“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.

“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”

“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”

“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.

You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”

“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.

“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”

Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”

You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”

Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.

“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.

He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.

Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”

Did Jungkook really talk about you?

“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.

“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”

“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.

“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”

You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.

“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.

“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.

Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?

“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.

“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”

“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”

You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.

“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”

You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.

_____

You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.

It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.

[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready

You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.

[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8

[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?

[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?

[You 4:02 PM] Nope

You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.

You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.

You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.

Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.

_____

Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.

“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.

“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”

You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”

Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”

“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“

“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.

“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.

“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“

“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”

You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.

“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”

You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.

“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”

You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.

“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”

You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.

“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”  

“You got it,”  Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.

“What?” You get nervous by his tone.

“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”

“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.

“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.

“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.

You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.

“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—

“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.

“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.

“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.

“I’ll get some seats.”

Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?

“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“

“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.

“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“

“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.

“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”

You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously. 

A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.

As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,  

You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.

“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.

“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”

You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.

“Hey, everything good?” He asks.

You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods. 

Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.

“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”

“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”

Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.

“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”

Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.

Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.

“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”

Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.

“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.

“Alright… ready… fight!”

Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.

“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.

This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.

Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.

“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.

Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.

“Fuck! Taehyung—“

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.

The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.

“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.

He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.

“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.

“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”

Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”

The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.

Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he��s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.

The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.

“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.

“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”

Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.

“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.

“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”

Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.

“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”

“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.

Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.

The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.

“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.

“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.

“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.

Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.

“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin.  Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.

“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.

“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.

“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”

Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.

“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Jungkook c’mon!”

“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”

Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.

“You ready to go home?” He asks.

“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.

“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.

“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.

“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.

Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.

_____

“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.

“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”

You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.

“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”

“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.

“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that. 

He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch. 

“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”

It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—

“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”

Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.

“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.

He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”

“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.

He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”

A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.

You’re quick to shake your head,  “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.

You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”

_____

Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.

“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.

You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.

You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.

The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.

“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.

“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.  

“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.

“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.

“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.

“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.

You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.

You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.

“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.

“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.

“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.

“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.

“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.

“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.

You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.

“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.

He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.

“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.

Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.  

“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.

You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.

“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”

“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him. 

He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious. 

You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.

“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.

“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.  

“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.

“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.

As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.

You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.

“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.

“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.

“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.

When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.

“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.

“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.  

“Come on,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.

You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.

Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.

“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.

“Hungry much?”

“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“Why not?”

“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.

He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”

You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.

“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.

“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”

He smirks, “Obviously.”

“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”

He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”

“Waffles are superior,” you remark.

He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”

_____

Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.

As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—

“Jennie?”

“Taehyung?”

The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!

“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.

“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.

Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”

You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.

“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.

“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.

You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.

The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be. 

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #bts #bts x reader #bts x you #bts drabble #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #jjk #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #park jimin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #enjoy guys!! #let me know what you think #please i'm desperate for attention lol #boxer au #college au #childhood friends to lovers

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 14

Sweetheart

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n and Steve have some time alone

Warnings: smut, lots of smut. Sweet sex. Maybe some swearing, knowing me there’s probably some

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

"Hey, sweetheart." Steve grinned, pulling y/n into a quick kiss as she walked down to breakfast. She gave him a warm smile, leaning onto his touch as Steve wrapped and arm over her shoulders and pulled y/n into him.

"What just happened?" Clint mused, a frown settling on his face as his eyes flicked between the two of them. Nat quirked a brow, Thor smiled like and idiot and Tony rolled his eyes.

"I- I think they just kissed." Bruce supplied, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Finally." Nat muttered, pushing her food around her plate. Thor was still grinning, the curl of his lips boyish.

"What are you so happy about?" Steve asked, brows raised but tone playful.

"Just the fact that Tony here," Thor clapped Tony on the shoulder, "owes me 100 dollars now." Thor confessed, Tony's unamused expression making everyone laugh. Of course y/n's came out silent.

"You bet how long it'd take us to get together?" Steve inquire, and Tony smirked.

"No, I bet you wouldn't get the balls to ask her out because you're frigid and have no clue how to talk to women." He explained.

"I talk to Nat!" Steve countered.

"Nat doesn't count, she's a coworker. And most probably gay." Tony said flatly, and Nat merely shrugged when Steve looked to her for help.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Clint asked after the silence had ensued the room. Tony began to speak but Thor cut him off, earning the Asgardian God a glare.

"We're going to find Bucky." He said optimistically. Y/n instantly perked up, eyes flickering between the super soldier sat beside her and her dad across the table.

"What? Don't look at me!" Steve exclaimed, hands held up in surrender. Tony breathed a heavy sigh.

"That's not what we're doing. Finding my daughter's HYDRA escapade is merely a bonus, and that's if you could even call it that." Tony dismissed and y/n sent him a look at could kill. "Today, we are invading a HYDRA base, so I want everyone on their best behaviour." Tony said, eyeing up the avengers in the room. "And you're not coming." He added hastily, pointing a finger at y/n.

"How come?" Nat asked for her.

"Y/n has already been kidnapped by HYDRA twice, I don't feel like it's a good idea to give them the opportunity for a third time." Steve answers before Tony could.

"What is it with everyone and talking over me today?!" Tony complained, pushing back from his seat and dumping his empty coffee mug in the sink. "Meet at the quinjet at 12." Tony turned to leave, not even making it to the door before he was turning around to face steve and y/n again. "And you're not coming either." He said pointedly at the super soldier.

"Wha- why not?!"

"Because of your emotional attachment. I can't have you freaking out and falling onto a river again just because you had some minor nostalgia." Tony said dramatically.

"That's not what happened." Steve defended.

"Close enough." Tony waved off, leaving the room without another word.

...

"How are you?" Steve asked, perching himself beside y/n on the sofa whilst placing the bowel of popcorn on the coffee table.

Shit. We should be with them.

"I know, Doll. I know." Steve sighed, sinking back into the cushions and slinging an arm over the back of the sofa, behind y/n.

I just feel guilty.

"I get it, trust me, I do. I spent years feeling like this before I got the serum. I changed my form five times before Dr Erskine found me." Steve admitted, placing a soft kiss on y/n's cheek as a method of reassurance. "Now," he spoke after a moment, "what are we watching?"

Y/n grinned at that. She'd been catching Steve up with all the movies he'd missed, and at the same time checking out a few of the ones she'd missed in the four years she was with HYDRA.

A classic, one of my personal favourite movies. Or at least it was.

"And what is this movie called, darling?" It was that moment that y/n pressed play, eyes lighting up with excitement when the film begun to play. When the title screen flashed, Steve smiled slightly, having heard of the movie from all the avengers. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone flashed on the screen, y/n smile widening at the familiar words.

We're not stopping until we finish all 8 movies, just so you know.

Steve shook his head playfully. They'd been told the mission would last a few days, maybe even a week.

"Good thing Tony has lots of popcorn then." Steve muttered, settling back into the couch as y/n curled against his hard chest.

They barely began the fourth movie before Steve's hands were wandering slightly, skimming over y/n's thighs and tracing small circles into her skin with his thumbs. His lips kissed along the back of her neck, up to her ear.

Y/n turned her head slightly, giving steve a questioning look. He have her a mischievous smile, dipping his head down to her neck and continuing to kiss the smooth skin. Y/n gasped when his lips hovered over the scar, lightly brushing over the raised skin.

"M'bored." He mumbled, hands inching even higher until they skimmed the bottom of her shorts. Y/n let out soft sighs, leaning into Steve's touch. Her eyes fluttered closed, mouth open in a silent moan when his thumb slipped into her shorts and brushed over her now damn panties. He smirked against her skin. "Looks like someone's not so bothered about finishing the movies anymore." He murmured.

Y/n turned around quickly in his lap, connecting their lips in a desperately slow kiss. Steve moaned against her mouth, hand travelling up to tangle in her hair whilst his other hand grasped her thigh and hooked it over his lap, so that y/n was straddling him. Her arm intertwined around his neck when she felt the bulge pressing between her legs, pressing down against it and grinding her hims.

Steve groaned, detaching his lips from hers and trailing them along her jaw, her neck, pulling down y/n's shirt collar slightly to kiss at her collar bone. Y/n threw her head back, hands grasping the bottom of Steve's t-shirt and tugging it over his head. Steve broke away from her for only the time it took to get his shirt over his head before his lips were latched to her skin again, teeth nibbling lightly at her collar bone before his kisses were trailing back up to her ear.

"Are you sure this is okay?" He breathed, biting her earlobe lightly. Y/n nodded, hands trying to find the bottom of her own shirt. Steve pulled away, hands cupping both her cheeks and forcing y/n to look into his eyes. "Are you sure this is okay?" He asked sternly, but his nose brushing hers affectionately said otherwise.

Y/n remained eye contact, nodding slowly so he understood. A massive smile spread over Steve's face, his lips connecting with her's in a passionate kiss, mostly teeth and tongue.

Before they new it, clothes were gone and Steve remained in only his briefs, kneeling on the floor in front of y/n. He picked up her leg, placing a soft kiss to her ankle, then her calf, then her knee. Finally, he reached her core, where he placed a teasing kiss over her clothed clit that made y/n buck her hips up.

"None of that." Steve chuckled, pressing an arm to her stomach to keep y/n's hips pinned to the sofa. He moved away, kissing the inside of her thighs teasingly while she gasped and sighed above him. Steve smirked against her, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of her panties before slowly pulling her down her legs.

Steve buried himself between her thighs, eating y/n out like she was his last meal and he was a man starved. Y/n's mouth was permanently open, the lewd moans she would be making substituted with silence as Steve's tongue lapped around her clit, down to her entrance and back up again.

It had been nearly a month since y/n returned from hell, and they hadn't done much more than kiss. Y/n and Steve had decided to keep their relationship secret for a while, knowing that it may stun a couple of their teammates and not to mention how unpredictable Tony's reaction was.

As much a steve wished he could hear y/n moaning - no screaming - his name, Steve was just happy that he could finally get a taste of the girl he loved. Of course, she didn't know his feeling ran quite that deep yet. He moaned into her core, her taste, her sweetness, one he could devour for hours and still be unsatisfied. One of the things spurring him on were Bruce's words: in a few months, her voice should start to return.

Y/n came with a sinful arch to her back, and Steve happily lapped up everything she gave him. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, heavy breathing echoing in the room and Steve fumbled to get out of his trousers and boxers. When they were off, he cooed gently in y/n's ear when she gasped at the size.

"I'll go gentle. If you need me to stop, for any reason, tap me three times with two fingers anywhere and I promise I'll stop." He assured, rolling a condom over his length.

The brightest smile spread on steve lips when the hoarse sound staggered from y/n as he pushed in. We're getting there, he thought. Her eyes widened, an excited sparkle to them in the realisation that she made a noise.

Steve's strokes were slow but powerful, bringing both him and his girl to the edge very quickly. The speed of their release could also be due to the fact that neither of them had been laid in a little while too. Steve's grin never left, the hoarse sounds still coming from y/n. She seemed pleased too, but was way to wrapped out in the feeling of his tip nudging her cervix to care.

When they came, Steve cried out y/n's name with a grunt and a groan, collapsing on the sofa beside her as both avengers tried to catch their breath back.

"That was...amazing." Steve sighed, smirking when he felt y/n nod against his chest, which she'd now curled into with a leg thrown over his waist. Steve pulled a blanket over them both, carding a hand through y/n's hair and rubbing smooth circles into her scarred back.

His fingers ran over the dips and bumps of the raised flesh, a pang of guilt eating at him when Steve realised everything she'd been through. He sighed deeply, sinking further into the sofa as y/n nuzzled into his chest further, he steady breathing telling him she was already fast asleep.

Steve could feel his own eyes drifting shut now, his long eyelashes scraping over his cheeks as sleep pulled him under. Little did Steve know, that the next few weeks would be full of sex with his girl, the act something she'd become obsessed with because she could make a sound whilst he was buried balls-deep within her.

It ended up driving the rest of the team mad, especially Tony. Y/n would try and pull Steve out of conference meetings, tease him throughout briefings and debriefings, keep him up all night when they had nothing to do the next day, just so she could hear her own voice again.

And don't get steve wrong - the sex was wonderful, like entering heaven, but the tiredness that ensued and pulled his whole being down like an anchor wasn't so great.

Everyone noticed it, but Steve would brush them off - after all, he only wanted to see y/n happy, and he loved hearing her voice, no matter how strained it currently was.

So when the team got back from their mission the first time they slept together, devoid of Bucky, Steve and the rest of the team decided to keep the rest of their missions to find the winter soldier on the down low. The shear disappointment steve had seen in y/n's eyes when they told her shattered him, made him want to cry as tears slipped down her reddened cheeks.

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[namluve]

↳ right on tide | seokjin x reader | 16.5k | oneshot | 18+  genre: smut, crack, angst & a little fluff, e2l, coworker au warnings: near death experiance (drowning), oral sex (m+f), fingering, swearing, praise 

❝ as a passionate surfer instructor at one of the most glamour’s vacation resorts there were two things you hated. bad weather and kim seokjin. jin always steals your summer hook ups, leaving you in a dry spell for the whole summer each year the two of you work on the resort. this time, you decided things would be different, this time, you would get revenge. ❞

note: this is my late bangtan boardwalk fanfic finally seeing the light. I want to thank everyone who encouraged me and a speciall thank you to @spicykoreantatertots​, Hannah, who helped me beta read it. without you, this would have been a hot mess. enjoy! 

Laying on the beach, you listen as the waves hit the shore, the sound comforting as you try to relax. Kim f-ing Seokjin was arriving at the island today, two weeks after everyone else because, why not? As far as you're concerned, this just meant two weeks of not having to deal with his ass.

Being passionate about surfing, you were blessed to be able to have a job as a surfing instructor during the summer. A nice break from the rest of the year that was spent at university. The summer was the highlight of every year because you were able to share your passion with others. Teaching beginners how to surf as well as giving more experienced surfers tips. Your workplace was a famous vacation resort set by the beach, surrounded by small islands. Attracting all kinds of people, but mostly middle aged singles looking for a good time. 

These first two weeks of your summer, however, had been a little different. With Jin gone, you had to step in and cover some of his shifts, which you honestly didn’t mind. Diving had always been something you’d find relaxing. You loved to be able to watch the ocean underneath the waves as well as on top of them. Seeing entire ecosystems flourish and live peacefully, even if there was a storm raging on the surface. It always seemed to be quiet down in the sea.

That’s why you didn’t mind taking some of Jin’s shifts. Having missed diving and seeing the ocean from below, it was a win. Well, besides all the extra workouts you got from working double shifts. Your body, that was happy whenever you walked instead of taking the bus, was untrained and not ready for such intense exercise. Your muscles were sore, and you thanked God for the waves being too high to ride today. Giving you a day to rest and recover. To let go of your worries. 

This year, you wouldn’t let Kim Seokjin ruin your summer. That you were sure of. You had packed all of your most daring outfits. Swallowing all of your insecurities, this year would be the year that Jin wouldn’t get in the way of your hook ups.

He was always so shameless about it, stealing them right in front of your eyes. The first few times he had done it, you were convinced the boy was gay. So, you went after a girl that, just like the guys, eventually left your side to go with him.

What was annoying about it though, was that he always waited until the end of the evening before making his move. Stealing them at the very last minute. Not giving you a chance to find someone else.

This year, however, you had a plan. A plan to ruin your enemy’s mischiefs for good. This year, your dry summer spell will end. This year, you will get revenge.  

Jin’s first week back, things are as usual. He flirts with and gets together with everyone, leaving you to feel like a plastic bag that’s just floating in the air while nobody cares about the environment. So, you just keep on floating, never getting picked up.

In all fairness, you barely tried. Too tired after work and your mood was instantly brought down at the sight of Jin. Why did someone so handsome have to be so cruel to you? 

You were even convinced that one time he brought you a drink at the last party was some kind of apology for being dick. Only for him to scare away the cute girl you were talking to.

“What? She obviously had a boyfriend. I really did you a favour.” Was his response when you confronted him about it. What a dick. 

“Please don’t ever come near me again. I don’t even want to breathe the same air as you right now!” You angrily shouted as you stomped your foot before walking away from him. 

Jin chuckled as you walked away. God his crush was a maniac. He could have chosen to like literally anybody else. Yet, every summer he came back, he couldn't help but to be drawn towards you. More and more so for every time you annoyingly rolled your eyes at him. He couldn't help but to think you were adorable.

After the first month of the summer had passed, your boss gathered around all team leaders for a quick meeting. Wanting to check the progress of each department. Making sure things were going smoothly. Your boss was not at any fault for having these meetings, but it did mean you had to spend time with Jin. Which… you weren’t excited about it, considering how mad you were at him for his behaviour at the last party. 

“Y/n! how is it going for our new guests?” Your boss asks, all eyes shifting towards you. You glance over at Jin. A coy smile on his lips. You wanted to gag at the sight, turning your attention towards your boss. 

Jin was probably really happy about being in the same room as you. Especially when last time you spoke to him, you said you didn’t want to breathe the same air as him. Only to be forced to be in the same room as him four days later. 

“Good. Most of them really have a talent for it. I’m fully booked for the next two weeks.” 

“I’m glad to hear. Jin,” the focus shifts to Jin and as you look at him, your eyes meet. His eyes had never seemed to shift their focus from you. Not until your boss spoke again and he turned towards him. “How is it going for our new recruit?”

Had the diving team gotten another employee? While you and Taehyung were on your knees with how overbooked you were? This had to have been Jin’s doing. He probably knew about your department's situation and got another recruit for the laughs of it.

“It’s going well but it is going to take some time until he can swim out with a team of his own. Together we can keep track of two more people so that’s been a relief.” He speaks and you scoff., rolling your eyes at his words. So their new recruit couldn’t even handle a team on his own? Useless to hire him in the first place, you thought.   

“Something you wanna say y/n?” Jin asks and suddenly all eyes are on you again. That fucker. A smirk on his lips. His prolonged plan to make your boss hate you going really well right now you thought. If looks could kill, Jin would’ve dropped dead on the floor.

“Nothing.” You quietly said, the kind warming smile on your bosses’ face turned towards you. You turned towards him, your face softening. The glares you had been sending Jin gone the moment you turned your eyes away from his. 

Your boss could be, at times, hard to read. He wanted to hear improvements that could be made to the resort. Well... as long as he didn’t have to put any time or money into it. Complaining about your work hours would probably not make a difference. Your boss milked out as much as he could from your department each year. 

“Come on y/n, you know you can speak your mind freely here. We want everyone to be a part of the meeting and voice their concerns.” Your boss tried and you thought, well… When he puts it like that…

“We could really use another person on my team.” You begin hesitantly. “As I said, I am fully booked for the coming two weeks and Taehyung is as well. In between that, I somehow need to find time for my paperwork. And also time to clean all the equipment.” You explained, seeing the cogs turn in your bosses’ head at your words. “We could just really use some help…”

A silence was left in the room as your boss was thinking. Jin still had a smile on his face. You thought it was because he was taunting you, but really, he was proud to see you standing up for yourself. Speaking up about the issues you so loved to talk about with your colleagues. He actually wanted for you to have some free time, to not have to work overtime everyday. 

“You’re right,” Your boss suddenly says. Surprised to hear him say those words, you looked at him confused, “since Jace can’t dive on his own with tourists yet, he can help out with cleaning and organizing all the surfboards at the end of the day. Gives you more time with the paperwork, sounds fair?”

You nod, never having expected to get anywhere with your comment. Happy that finally, you might not have to stress everyday to make sure everything stays afloat. Your boss was probably pleased with the solution, not having to hire another worker and just moving around the ones he has. Like he usually does in any situation ever. You wouldn’t be surprised if he threw you around the departments this summer as well, despite your busy schedule. Oh well, you guess you’ll just have to wait and see.

The meeting went on as usual. You looked at Jin a final time before you ignored him for the rest of the meeting. He still had that stupid smile on his face. In a way, it was his push that led you to get some extra help in your department. Never in your life would you admit that though. You would never give credit to Jin.

As the end of the day slowly approached, you decided to sit down and look over your paperwork. There was much more paperwork to your job than you initially thought. Having to look over the next day's bookings, plan out lessons, keep track of the weather and make sure everyone paid.

Yesterday’s meeting was forgotten, the stress of today’s work wearing heavy on you. Your shoulders tense, legs sore and skin almost burning. Of course you wore sunscreen when you were outside but sadly, that didn’t always help. Today was one of those days.

You didn’t even notice when the door to your little hut opened. Jin stepped in, looking around the place. This was where it all began for him. He started his career as a surfing instructor before it got boring and he moved on to diving.

He knew the passion you held for the sport, always looking so happy out on the waves. He knew you held some kind of grudge against him, and he kind of knew why. Jin honestly just liked to deny it. Stealing your crush’s dates maybe wasn’t the best way to get them to like you, but it sure got their attention.

Also, you looked super cute mad. Brows furrowed together, jaw clenched, eyes piercing through him with rage. Often placing your hands on your hips as you scold him. In all honesty, Jin didn’t even listen to half the things you were saying while you were shouting at him. He was just happy to be able to see you eye to eye. You couldn’t ignore him when you were mad at him.

Jin had already sent off Jace to help Taehyung, he really didn’t have to go inside the hut but he wanted to see you. Concentrating on your work, you huffed the strand of hair that had fallen down onto your face. Trying your best to piece together the schedule. A new family booking three lessons last minute, screwing over your entire schedule.

It wasn’t until Jin started walking towards you that you noticed his presence, sighing in annoyance. Looking at him as he stood in front of you. A white t-shirt clinging slightly to his chest, dirty blond hair still a little wet, beige shorts going down just above his knees. He had probably just ended his shift while yours was on for at least another hour. Yet another petty thing you could be mad at him about.

“I cannot deal with you today.” You tell him, rolling your eyes and he laughs. Showing off his white teeth as he smiles brightly.

“In all fairness, you say that to me everyday.”

“And I mean it every time.” You snapped back and Jin sighed. Well, he wasn’t getting anywhere closer to you with this conversation. Looking at the papers splayed out around the table. Your work computer open with the booking tab, Jin sensed there was something more to your attitude today.

“Tell me what’s really bugging you,” Jin said, a seriousness and caring tone to his voice, “I know there is more to this.”

“Well…” You began, contemplating whether to open up to Jin or not. Looking up at him through your tired eyelids, you decide what the hell. You had no problem complaining to all the other employees, why not to your arch nemesis. “There’s just this family who booked some lessons last minute, screwing up my plans completely.”

“I see...” Jin said, looking like he was thinking. Holding his chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “Have you tried seeing if the family has any previous surfing experience?” He asks and you sigh. Of course Jin wouldn’t be of any help, just mock you with the most basic questions.

“It’s the first thing I check, they haven’t written anything in their booking.”

“Not that, but the database that stores all bookings. So… you can check those made a long time ago.” There was a database for it? Wow, you thought, this really showed how poorly your boss had educated you before throwing you into the job. You had almost been completely independent already on day one.

“Should I have?” You ask, feeling suddenly small and not so bold against Jin anymore. There was just something about his relaxing nature, never stressing about things, knowing quite a lot about the resort and how it works. Yes, you were willing to bury the hatchet for a little while if that meant your job would get easier.

“I mean… I could show you if you want?” Jin quietly suggested and you nodded, sliding your chair to the right so Jin would have space to work on the computer. He walked over. Even though you had moved your chair, Jin still had to bend down over your shoulder. His chin almost resting on your shoulder as he began typing something on the computer.

You closed your eyes for a moment, Jin’s scent completely taking over you. His perfume was sweet, but with a hint of musk in it. The warmth of his body makes your cheeks heat up. Suddenly, you felt like a highschool girl about to get her first kiss.

“Y/n.” Jin said your name, snapping you out of your thoughts. As he turned his head towards you, you were suddenly painfully aware of how close his lips were to yours. Ears red, you answered him, “yes?”

“The family that’s coming are pro surfers, they just don’t know how to book the surfing boards without adding the lessons.” He speaks and you look at him, stunned. Hypnotized by his beauty, never seen him this up close.

Tilting your head to the side, you allow yourself to be drawn to him as you ask. “How do you know that?”

“I taught them how to surf many years ago, they are pro surfers and friends with one of the managers.” Jin’s words were what got you out of your trance. No way would you play into his little games.

“What do you mean you taught them?” For as long as you could remember, the four years you had been working at the resort you hadn’t seen Jin surf, not even once. He was probably just playing with you right now, as usual. Jin sensed your change of tone, realizing you were probably going to be annoyed with him in a few seconds again.

“I started out as a surfing instructor, before I moved on to diving.” Jin explained and you scoffed.

“Why? Was loch ness calling you back to your home?” Jin was a bit taken aback by your words. For some reason they sounded harsher than usual. He shook his head, exhaling a deep breath as he stood up. Disappointed in himself for thinking he had the smallest of chance with you. 

“What?” You questioned, confused by Jin’s reaction. He wasn’t teasing you back and it made you feel weird. You couldn’t describe it, but it was almost as if you felt bad for him. Jin began walking towards the door, having to intention to stay any longer in your presence.

“And here I thought you would be nice for five minutes.” Jin almost spit out, a clear anger behind the tone of his voice. “Not even a thanks for the help.”

And with that Jin left. Leaving you alone with your paperwork. The room almost felt cold despite the heat that radiated from the sun outside. Your stomach twisting and turning, feeling as if there was a lump in your throat. Jin had just helped you, and you had, what? Been nothing but a dick to him. Your rivalry aside, he wasn’t that bad of a person, and you knew that.

Your colleagues telling stories about how nice and helpful he was would often make you want to gag. But matter of fact, Jin was a nice and helpful person, you were just too caught up to notice it most of the time. Never thanking him when he opened a door for you, made sure you always had water at the meetings. Leaving his leftovers at your door when he knows you're working all the time.

The first few times he’d done it, you thought it was to poison you or something. When you tasted his food for the first time however, you were blown away with how good it tasted. A smile on your lips each time you found a container outside your door. Not sending him a glare the next time you’d see him after he’d left some food. Jin noticed it of course. It was one of the few things he knew wouldn’t get on your nerves. 

Now he was helping you with work, and you did nothing besides be a dick to him. Sighing, you tried to go back to your paperwork. Ignoring the bad feeling that was upsetting your stomach. Your schedule, more or less saved thanks to Jin. Now, you just had to pull through the rest and do some cleaning, then you’re good to go.

“We’re all done!” Taehyung chimed in as you closed your laptop, finally being done with the paperwork after an hour. Confused, you looked at the bright smiling boy who most of the time looked like a lost puppy.

“We?” You question and Taehyung just nodded, smiling brightly.

“Yeah, Jin left Jace with us so he helped me out. Once you’re done with the paperwork we can head back.” Your mood was now drastically lifted, a wide smile on your face as you packed your things. The first day ever since you got here this summer that didn’t end in overtime.

Taehyung packed up his things as well and once the two of you were out the door, you locked it. Feeling the warmth of the sun as you step outside. Even thought the sun was setting,the warmth from it almost burned your feet as you walked over to the apartment complex with Taehyung. 

As you walk down the hall, you glance at Jin’s door, wondering for a second what he was up to. Was he mad at you? Was he sad? You couldn’t exactly go up to his door and ask so you decided to do the next best thing.

After cooking dinner for yourself, you wrapped a box up for Jin as well. You left a note on top of the plastic container, writing ‘thank you’ on it. Would Jin even know it was you? I mean, yes it was your iconic yellow dotted containers he would receive the food in, but how would he know for sure?

Deciding to write your name in the bottom corner, you head outside of your apartment, and take the few strides it takes to walk over to Jin’s door. Placing the container on his doormat. Hopefully, he will accept your apology. Hopefully, you might have a chance to make things right with him.

There were parties essentially every night at the single resort you were working at. Tonight, however, the resort would host one of their more famous ones. This meant a lot of people would attend it. since the weather would be bad tomorrow, you didn’t have to get to work that early. You had the best conditions that could’ve been given you to get revenge.With your makeup on point. Eyeliner so sharp you hoped it would cut into Jin’s perfect face. You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before you made your way down to the beach.

Your dress shimmering in the moonlight as you stepped outside. Following the stonepath on the ground, you make your way over to the party tents. What if Jin was still mad at you? You hadn’t really seen him after you tried to apologize to him with your cooking. He must have gotten over it, he usually did when you were rude to him. You’d never know why though, especially when you didn’t deserve it most of the time.   

As you arrived, you thankfully accepted the welcoming drink. Shaking a little as you grabbed it. Most of your friends were not up to the party, meaning, you were on your own. As you sipped on it, you spotted Jin. Talking with two girls, he looked perfect as usual. Laughing at some joke one of the girls probably told him. The feeling that set in your stomach at the sight could only be described as green. Luckily, you were already wearing it on your face, the green makeup showing your true colours unintentionally. 

Jin was dressed as Eric as far as you could see. A dashing prince. The two girls around him looked stunning as well, although, they didn’t put in as much effort as you and him to the masquerade bit. Wearing simple dresses and nude makeup, they didn’t stand out quite as well as the two of you did. You’d overheard Jin telling Taehyung how excited he was for the party because he loved to dress up. Why was he spending his time with people who didn't even put in half the effort he did?  

Jin was wearing Prince Eric’s signature white loose shirt. A red scarf that it seemed like he diy’d into looking like Eric’s belt. Dark blue loose trousers with almost knee high black boots. To top it all off, he’d changed his hair colour into black. Probably spraying it with some wash off colour, same as you with your red. Your green dress that barely covered your butt went well with the green and blue makeup you’d put on your face. Using fishnet stockings to create a fishscale pattern on your face to finish it all off, you were ready for tonight. 

This year, it was time to switch things up. This year, you would take his conquests from him. Not the other way around. You decided to finish your glass of champagne in one go, hoping it would give you a boost of confidence as you started walking towards Jin. You had one goal in mind, ruin Seokjin’s chances with those two girls. 

As you made your way down the beach, Jin noticed you. Eyes locked on yours for a second before they trailed your body up and down. It was most certainly a win on your part. You had checked Jin out as well, but he didn’t know that. Jin’s mouth was slightly open, his reaction more obvious with the three glasses of champagne in his body. He most certainly thought you’d never looked better.

Jin had let go of all the anger he felt towards you when he had gotten your apology meal. You had tried after all, and he couldn’t be mad at you for that. Especially considering this was the first time you had even tried to apologize to him, Jin thought that he might have a chance now. If not at pursuing you, at least at becoming your friend.

“My prince,” you announced as you reached him, and the girls took half a step back. Thinking that the two of you might be a couple of some sort. Well, you did wear matching outfits after all. A smirk on your lips as they did. Your plan was going as planned.

“Princess,” Jin answered, bowing down before you overdramatically. One hand behind his back, one foot in front of the other before he stood up again. His hand reaching forward, you hesitated before you placed your hand in his. Remembering what you’d told yourself earlier. You weren’t going to let him have an affect on you at all. You couldn’t be thrown off by a little hand holding. Besides, it would probably increase the chances of the two girls to leave. 

He took hold of it, never breaking eye contact as he placed a kiss upon it. It shouldn’t affect you at all, but the way he was looking at you got you feeling butterflies in your stomach. You’d forgotten why you walked over in the first place. Forgotten about how this was not supposed to affect you at all. Forgotten how this was all just a chance for you to get revenge.

The girls had left by now, not really understanding what was happening and left for some more drinks. A little sad that the dashing prince was already taken by you.

“You look stunning Ariel.” Jin complimented and you felt your cheeks heat up. Happy that the green makeup probably covered it. Keep it together, you thought to yourself. 

“So do you Eric.” Two could play this game, you thought. Jin looked surprised by your words, well, most often you only called him names and was angry at him. This surely was a nice change.

“Care for a dance?” He asked, knowing he was probably risking it. You could turn at any given moment. Get mad at him. Scold him, as you have done for years but you shrugged your shoulders. A ‘sure’ leaving your lips even though you were far from sure. Your mission was already completed, then why did a tiny voice in your head tell you to dance? 

These were uncertain waters you had never explored before. Sure, Jin had flirted with you a few times before but that was just to annoy you, right? Like that time he’d shamelessly checked you out when you were by the swimming pool the first summer you worked at the resort. Sending a wink your way when your eyes meet. The two of you didn’t know each other back then and as the summer went on, your annoyance for Jin continued to grow. 

At the first party you ever attended at the resort, Jin stole your date for the first time. You’d gathered courage to talk to the cute guy that had brought you ice cream earlier that week. Only to have Jin swoop in and steal him right under your nose, take him to his room and spend the night with him. 

As he led you out to the dancefloor, your coworker started looking at your direction. Ready to call 911 in a second, knowing how heated you could be at times. You got self conscious under their stares. Jin looked at where your eyes were directed. Seeing the hesitant look on your face. How could someone so confident in front of him feel so small in other people’s company? You took half a step closer to him, searching for safety without realizing it. Jin was more than happy to provide it. 

Taking your hand, he placed it on his shoulder, and you took the hint. Placing your other hand on top of his shoulders as well. As you turned your eyes to meet his, your surroundings suddenly seemed to disappear. His hands moved to rest on your hips. Swaying to the music, his eyes almost burning through yours and you feel the need to look away. Flustered at having him so close to you.

“Don’t shy away from me now princess.” Jin chuckled and you thought, how could I not? Besides the fact that you hated him, you couldn’t deny that Jin was handsome. Stunning even. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was infuriating, you would have jumped his bones a long time ago. Whenever Jin wasn't making you mad, he was always making you feel things you couldn’t quite understand. It had always been easier to just hate him.  

But right now, you and Jin were in the situation you were in. For years dancing around each other to finally dance with each other. You had to admit it, it was nice. Not to be angry, not being on your toes around him. Just enjoying his company. Just being.

Jin had a hard time believing this was all real. He knew you hated him. He just didn’t know why. I mean yeah, he teased you a lot, but he didn’t know how else to catch your attention. To have you practically in his arms, flustered, not being able to look him in the eyes was a blessing. He never wanted it to end. 

“This is quite nice,” Jin said and you finally looked at him again. Muttering a ‘what?’ as you had been too deep in your own thoughts to acknowledge what he’d said.

“I said it’s quite nice, dancing like this. Not fighting.” Jin spoke again and as he did, he felt your hands clench, your whole body stiffening. He knew his moment with you was over.

“Well it’s not my fault we began fighting, is it?” You snapped back and Jin couldn’t read your expression one bit. It seemed as if you were in a conflict with your own thoughts and words. Wanting one thing and saying another. 

“So, who started the fighting?” Jin asked, wanting your honest thoughts. Wanted to know what he did to make you hate him so much. You were already looking for your escape by then. You wanted nothing more than to just be alone and swallow your feelings. This was exactly why you didn’t allow yourself to be nice around Jin. Things got messy. 

Spotting Kyle, your colleague that you didn’t exactly get along with either, you made your exit.

“I’m just gonna check on Kyle,” you said letting go of Jin, moving past him. He took hold of your arm before you could move out of his personal space. His eyes pleading as you looked back at him.

“Please just tell me what I did,” he begged, and you harshly pulled your arm from his grasp. Looking in his eyes for one more second before you headed straight towards Kyle. Your feet moved on your own as you moved past him and started walking back to the resort.

You didn’t need this. Not at all. You were supposed to make him feel bad, not the other way around. As you reached the lobby, you were met with a handsome face. The brown haired tall boy looking at you up and down as you walked over to him.

“Wanna be my distraction for the night?” You asked him and he nodded. Taking out his hand so you could shake it.

“I’m Matt,” he introduced himself and you shook his hand, introducing yourself.

“Nice to meet you, what’s a beautiful lady like you doing running from the party like that?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Just avoiding my co-worker really. Care to show me to your room?” Matt nodded and you small talked on your way over. Finally, you had managed to get a hook-up of your own without Jin interrupting.

Spending the night in Matt’s room you were treated to adequate sex. You know the one that’s not bad but doesn’t leave you quite satisfied? Yeah, that one. You woke up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep because of Matt’s snoring, so you decided to head back to your room.

Walking with your heals in your hand down the halls, going to the staff area, you passed Jin’s door. Wondering who had been the lucky lady or guy to follow him back to his room tonight. Could have been you if you weren’t so stubborn. Jin had his eyes set on you.

Walking over to your door that was almost at the end of the hall, you unlock your door. Going inside, you threw your heels to the side and took off your dress. Finally getting to remove your makeup and put on your softest pyjamas. Climbing in under the covers, you fell asleep quickly. Dreaming of dancing with Jin.

You woke up because of loud knocking on your door. Looking at the clock, you realized it was only seven in the morning. Your first day off in what felt like forever as well. What a joke your life suddenly seemed to be.

Grunting, you got up. The lack of sleep gives you a headache that is pulsating, making it feel like your head was about to explode. Your limbs were still asleep as you dragged yourself across the floor to your door.

Opening it, you were met with an equally tired very familiar face.

“What do you want Jin?” You snared, not quite happy about being awoken so early. Jin looked down at your pyjamas, smiling. Finding it cute.

“Boss said we need to dive and check on one of the reefs,” he explained, and you scoffed. A week was all it took before your boss started moving you around as usual. You didn’t expect it to be in Jin’s team, however. It was probably because you covered for Jin those first two weeks that he missed. Where was he those weeks anyway?

Being reminded of his absence, you grew even more annoyed at the situation. “Does he know about the storm-“ 

“Yes he does, and he doesn’t seem to care, he wants us to do it before the storm comes.” Jin interrupted, seeming burdened as the words left his mouth, obviously agreeing with you. It was dangerous to go out on the waters when there is a possibility of a storm. It wasn’t even a possibility today, it was well known along the whole coast that the storm would come.

“It’s a reef close to one of the new living areas that’s opening in a few days. Apparently, some fishers did some damage to it…” You saw the sadness in Jin’s eyes. You knew how much he cares about the ocean, just as much as you. “…and we need to check on it.”

He continues explaining and you nod. Of course, your boss cared the most about his precious resort more than anything. More than his summer employees. But still, you cared about the ocean too, having a deep respect for the waters and the animals living in it. It contributes to you being able to carry out your sport.

So, you agreed to help Jin. You didn’t really have a choice in the matter. You just hoped that you could be done just in time to miss the storm. Scared of what would happen if you didn’t make it back in time. 

Out on the boat, the waves had already started getting worse since the crew got out on the water. The two old men driving the boat hadn’t said a word to you or Jin since you sat down in the boat. Probably not that happy about being out on the water today and you totally understood that.

Looking over to your right, you focused on Jin for a while. He looked good in the diving suit, you had to admit that. Almost more so than the prince Eric costume if you’re being honest. The wetsuit clinging to his body in the most appealing way it probably could. Showing off his toned body.

“Yah… if you’re going to stare at me, you have to make it a little less obvious.” Jin suddenly spoke, turning to you. Your ears and cheeks turned red as you kept eye contact with him. You were not going to let him make you feel flustered this year, no.

“I was just thinking about if I should throw you off the boat or not… It’s really moving towards ‘yes’ right now.” Jin laughed at your comeback. Muttering a ‘sure’ under his breath as he began to look at the ocean again. The island where the reef was located got closer with every second as the boat traveled across the waters.

“You know all the signals, right?” Jin suddenly asked, mostly just to have a conversation with you, but also as part of his routine. You wouldn’t be able to speak under water of course, you would have to rely on being able to signal things with your hands to one and another.

You scoffed at his question. “Do you even know who took care of your shift while you were gone doing God knows what?” Jin never meant to question your abilities but he quickly realized he hit a sensitive spot. You were probably the most overworked employee. He knew that because you knew the place inside and out. The boss of course loved to use that, throwing you around wherever he needed you.

He sighed, turning his head towards you. Looking at you with a pleading face, asking you to drop the hatchet for just a moment. Just for a bit so you really understood that he meant every single word.

“I’m thankful for that. I know you didn’t really have a choice, but I want you to know that it meant a lot to me.” Jin’s words caught you off guard, his genuine appreciation making you stutter over your next words. Wanting nothing else than for the conversation to be over.

“Wha… Whatever… Let’s just get th-this over with…” You almost mumble, looking down at the bright wooden floor on the boat. Kicking your legs as you sit restlessly for the rest of the ride. Avoiding a conversation with Jin at all cost. The sun was still out. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad out on the waves today after all?

Jin was smiling the rest of the boat ride, happy to have finally caught you off guard and made you flustered. Maybe things could finally change between the two of you. Maybe, just maybe… you being forced to spend time with him had a positive effect this summer. The last two summers had only drifted you further apart.

This year it seemed like the waves were crashing in, the ocean’s current too strong for you to fight against it. Drawing you closer to Jin, making you see him from a new perspective. And the view was surprisingly nice. When you allowed yourself to look, instead of turning a blind eye to it. Appreciating what had been in front of you this entire time. What had always been there and what you had never noticed. Yeah, maybe the view wasn’t so bad after all?

“Here it is, in you go kids. Don’t stay out too long or we’ll leave your asses here.” The captain of the boat said as he turned off the engine. You wanted to scold him for saying such a thing but Jin beat you to it.

“You’ll stay put here for as long as we want you to. Wouldn’t want the boss finding out his best instructors somehow went missing because of a moron?” You smiled. Best instructors, so Jin did admit you were good at your job? It was a nice feeling, being recognized for your hard work.

The captain muttered a ‘whatever’ waving Jin off. Jin turned to you as he shook his head, scoffing. All that was left for Jin to put on was his goggles. His eyes soften the moment they meet yours.

“You ready?” He asked and you nodded. “Let’s go then.”

You take a sitting position on the edge of the boat, falling backwards into the ocean. Your oxygen tank feelt lighter the second it was submerged into the water. Taking your breather in between your lips, you took a deep breath. Testing so it all works before you dive deeper into the ocean. Your legs made slow kicking motions to keep you close to the surface.

Looking at Jin, you saw his thumbs up and you gave him one back. At the reassuring signal that everything was alright, you and Jin began swimming further down, quickly reaching the ocean floor where the coral reef flourished. You followed Jin’s lead as he knew the area better than you. Enjoying your quiet time in the ocean. Allowing yourself to spend time with Jin without arguing. Yeah… you could actually get used to this.

You and Jin went around and checked on the coral reef for about an hour. Luckily, where the boat had hit the reef it was mostly just big rocks that nothing really lived on. The reef was lucky this time. A while ago, you noticed the light getting darker but didn’t think much of it, too focused on your task at that very moment. It was not until you and Jin began to swim towards the surface that you realized why it had gotten darker.

When you reached the surface, the wind made the waves crash over you. You tried to keep your head above water level, searching for the boat, trying to find your ticket back to safety. As you looked around, you couldn’t see the boat anywhere. You started to panic. Had they really left you and Jin in the middle of the fucking ocean? In the middle of a storm?

Jin was mad, beyond furious but he put all his feelings aside the moment he saw you. Struggling to keep your head afloat, waves crashing over you as the rain poured down. He had to think of something. He had to think of a plan real fast. Otherwise, the two of you could actually die, the realization made Jin sick to his stomach. His body filled with fear as he thought about the options he had.

While you were still panicking, looking around frantically, occasionally screaming your lungs out for help, Jin got an idea. The new living area on the island was close to the coral reef.

Looking around, Jin was able to find the island pretty quickly. A barrier of rocks surrounded it. Of course the fishers had damaged the reef on the opposite side of the beach and pier of the island. It would take too long to swim around the island. The currents were too strong, and you could in worst case die out of exhaustion trying to make it. If only there was some other entrance…

The caves. The underwater caves leading to the lagoon, the island's future main attraction. If he could only navigate the two of you there. He knew the entrance was around here somewhere. He had, after all, been here last week to check on the cave system.

He swam over to you. One hand taking hold of your shoulder to gain your attention. Stopping you right before you were going to scream for help again. Jin’s touch felt comforting, but left you all too soon. Removing his hand once your eyes met, he knew he had your attention.

“Follow me!” He screamed. The wind made so much noise that you could just barely hear him. As Jin made a down motion with his hand, you understood what he meant. Giving him a nod. When Jin dived back into the calm waters below the waves, you followed. He brought out his flashlight to light the path in front of him, and you did the same. 

You swam close to the rock walls and you quickly realized Jin was searching for something. Matter of fact, he found it within a minute. Doing a ‘follow me’ motion with his hand, he started swimming into a hole in the wall. You followed him closely. The cave system was a little too narrow for your taste really, but you didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

Jin swam slowly, following the air bubbles. Air that desperately tried to find the closest way to the surface. In other words, leading to the lagoon. As you took a deep breath, you suddenly heard a beep. Indicating you only had five breaths left before your tank would run out of oxygen. Shit.

You tapped Jin on the foot and he stopped in his tracks. The space in the tunnel was big enough that he could almost stand as he turned around. You took a breath, pointing towards your oxygen mask and then showing him four fingers.

Shit, Jin thought as well. He forgot you weren’t as an experienced diver as him. He nodded. He could give you his air if needed. Pointing towards his tank and then towards you, you got his message. Relieved, you swam after Jin as he began swimming again.

Jin stopped after a little while, taking his mouthpiece towards your mouth and you breathed in. You still had four in yours and was grateful for Jin giving you some of his. He probably had a lot left you thought, he was more experienced after all.

The smile that Jin had as he saw your relieved face when you took a breath of his oxygen died quickly. As he took a breath, he heard the beep. You had four breaths left and Jin was now left with five. The situation got more deadly in a matter of seconds. Jin ignored it. He had to make it, he had to get you two to safety, no matter the cost.

With each breath both you and Jin grew more paranoid. As you took your final breath that was left from the tank, you suddenly saw light. The surface was close and Jin knew this as well. One final breath was left in his tank as he swam out of the cave. Looking behind him once he reached the lagoon, he saw you struggle.

You needed more air, muscles straining and working against you as you looked up towards the surface, desperate to reach it. Your vision started to darken, you felt a mouthpiece being pressed against your lips. You took a deep breath, finally having enough oxygen in your body to swim above the surface. You looked at Jin for a second before you swam as fast as you could.

Reaching the surface, you breathed heavily. Trying to catch your breath, you almost started to cry out of happiness. You made it. You were in some random cave, but you made it. Looking behind you, ready to throw yourself at Jin, you noticed he wasn’t anywhere to be found.

On his way up, Jin inhaled water just before he reached the surface. The lack of oxygen shutting his brain down as his lungs begged him for something. Upon your realization, you quickly dived down, finding Jin’s limp body sinking towards the cave floor. No. You would not allow this. Throwing your thousand dollar equipment off your body as fast as possible.

You reach Jin in a matter of seconds, throwing his tank off him as well. The weight of the metal made the oxygen tank sink as you grabbed hold of him and swam towards the surface as quickly as possible. Your body found an immense amount of strength, propelling you towards the edge of the lagoon. You had done this a few times with your students, swam with them to safety on the beach. It had always ended up well. So why were you worried to death all of the sudden?

Dragging Jin’s body up on the hard rock floor, you checked his breathing. Your mind was completely focused on the task. You had to save him. When you couldn’t feel him breathing, you checked for his pulse. Your middle and pointing finger applying pressure on the artery vein on his neck. He had a pulse. You just needed to get him breathing again.

You pinched his nose, restricting his airflow, and tilted his head upwards. After taking a deep breath, you placed your lips over his, filling Jin’s lungs with air. When nothing happened, you placed your lips over his again. Filling his lungs with air one more time.

Jin finally began coughing and you quickly let go of him. Your worried hands brushed the hair out of his face, watching for the life that was returning to his eyes.. Jin was trying to breathe while also coughing up all the water that he had taken into his lungs. Water was coming up with each cough, but eventually his lungs cleared.

When he started breathing normally, you threw your arms around him. Having no strength left in his body to support the two, Jin fell backwards with you clinging to his chest. He winced as his body hit the cold, rock hard cave floor. He wanted to complain, his head hurting from the fall, but he stopped himself. Your arms squeezing even tighter around him as you start to sob into his chest.

“I thought you were gone…” You choked out and Jin felt a sting of pain in his heart. Hearing you so heartbroken and scared… He placed his arms around you. With one around your body, he brought you closer to him. While the other hand softly petted your head, reassuring you.

“Shh, it’s okay. We’re alright.” Jin whispered and you allowed yourself to relax. Exhaustion quickly overcomes your body. Jin felt you relax, your body going limp as you started falling asleep.

He let you sleep. Allowing himself the moment. To finally have you in his arms. To finally have you look at him with concern and not hate. For you to care about him. Yeah, all Jin could wish for really was to live that moment for a little longer. His body tired, mind empty, he fell asleep as well shortly after you.

You both laid there sleeping for almost two hours before you woke up. Confused, you looked around the cave. Not quite remembering where you were at first. Not until you became aware that you were sleeping on Jin. His chest rising as he takes a deep breath. His mouth was slightly open, eyes effortlessly, beautifully closed.

He looked so peaceful like this, so beautiful. As if he had been sculpted by the God Poseidon himself. His beauty was remarkable. His dirty blond hair was still slightly wet. Skin a little paler than usual, probably from the lack of oxygen. Lips red and puffy.

His lips. You look at them for a while. They looked way too inviting. Your hand moved up to your lips. Two fingers tracing your lips as you were reminded, they had touched Jin’s. Sure, it was because you were trying to save him, and you couldn’t really remember much of it. But you wanted to. Wanted to know how his lips felt. How they tasted.

As Jin let out a slight snore, you were brought back to reality. Almost throwing yourself backwards and away from his body. What were you thinking? This is your arch nemesis. The reason for your dry summer spell. Well, you did break it this year, but Matt barely counted. Not when he couldn’t even fully satisfy you.

Okay focus, you told yourself, you needed to figure out what to do next. So, you went through the facts. You were stuck in a cave with Jin. A cave that was… where exactly? Had Jin just told you to follow him into a random cave? Shivers going down your spine as you felt a slight breeze. Your body instantly started to shake.

Great, you were in a random cave, with Jin, and you were freezing. Your day couldn’t get much better. Looking over at Jin, you realized you had to wake him up. You needed to know where the hell you were.

You approached him, slightly shaking his body. Your hand gripping his arm. He just grunted and you sighed. No way were you just going to let him sleep peacefully while you were freezing. It was his fault anyway that the two of you went out into the ocean in the first place. He should have stood up to your boss, you thought.

You shook his arm more violently, Jin finally opened his eyes. A confused look on his face as he sat up. Looking around the cave slightly before his gaze looked onto yours.

“Where are we?” He asked, still half asleep and very much confused about the situation. You slowly shook your head, scoffing. You slap his arm lightly, trying to get him to focus. Jin whines, confused as to why you’d hit him.

“Oh, but shouldn’t you know that? It was your brilliant plan to take us here, after all.” At your words, Jin is reminded of what had happened. Reminded where you guys were. Reminded that everything was back to the way it was before. 

“Yah… I brought you here, to safety, so you wouldn’t drown… I almost drowned in the process, and this is how you thank me?” He questioned and you were suddenly filled with guilt. Jin was right but you didn’t have a chance to apologize before he spoke again. “We are in the new resort islands lagoon, meaning we can get out of here and spend the night at the new houses built on the Island.”

No words could describe the feeling in your stomach. You were sickened by your behaviour. How selfish of you to think that Jin would do anything but bring the two of you to safety. You wanted to say something, anything that could make the situation better. To let Jin know you were sorry.

“I should have just left you in the ocean.” Jin muttered as he pushed himself up from the cave floor. It wasn’t meant for you to hear. He’d just said it out of anger, but you couldn’t help the sadness that washed over your body. So, as he started walking, clearly familiar with the place, you followed him. Like a stray puppy, looking for someone to bring them in. Anyone to give them shelter.

You didn’t say a single word as Jin led you up towards the surface, the storm still raging on. You could hear it in the caves, more and more so the closer you came to the surface. Nothing could have prepared you for the real deal however.

The rain was lashing down on the island. The water pressure in your shower was like a slow drip compared to this. The force it struck down was enough to make it hurt when it hit your skin. The wind took hold of the trees, making it look like they could snap in half at any second. You needed to find shelter, fast. 

Jin looked to his left, instantly finding what he was looking for. One of the guest houses stood only 10 meters from  the cave. He turned toward you, sighing, and roughly grabbed your hand. He didn’t say anything, still clearly upset with you. He had every reason to be, but still, he didn’t want to risk losing you out in the storm.

He started sprinting, his free hand held over his face, shielding him from the lashing rain and wind. You did the same, covering your face as you followed him closely. 

When you reached the house. Jin lifted the mat in front of the front door to reveal a key laying under it. He unlocked the door, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. He opened the door and waited for you to get in before he closed it. The sound of the storm could still be heard inside the house and you were both thankful to have a roof over your head. Especially with night time approaching. 

While trying to catch your breath, you began looking around at your temporary shelter. The decoration of the house had a modern style mixed with tropical vibes. The white fabric of the couch matched the curtains and the frames on the paintings that covered the walls. The furniture in the living room and adjoining dining space were made of bamboo. The walls of the open concept room had oak paneling, giving the place a rustic island vibe.. Green plants were placed around the house to give it a pop of colour. Your mouth was slightly agape, it was much more beautifully decorated than the guest rooms on the main island. 

While you were busy looking at the house, Jin was busy exploring it. Checking the kitchen for food and water first. Not much there besides a welcoming basket and some food the construction worker must have left behind. The toilet was plain and simple, toilet,sink, and shower. The bedroom only had one double bed. Why couldn’t any of the big family houses have been any closer? Jin let out an annoyed sigh.

He now had to fight you over the bed. There was no way your stubborn ass was just going to hand it over to him. You started walking around the house quietly, looking into the bedroom and Jin braced himself. Ready for an argument that he had to win. No way was he going to sleep on the small couch with his wide shoulders and suffer all night.

“You can take the bed. I’ll take the couch.” You suddenly announced, walking past Jin to get to  the bathroom. You were freezing and you needed to change into something warmer. Dragging your cold soaking wet wetsuit down your body, you placed it on the shower floor. Your bikini following suit. Taking the white kimono that was hanging beside the shower to wrap around your body. The white silk felt expensive and breezy around your body. Probably made for the beach under the hot glazing sun.

While you had been changing, Jin had taken off his wetsuit as well. Going around in his swim trunks as he tried to make sense of you. Almost shaking his head at himself for not having his priorities straight. He needed to eat and drink. His basic human needs that were somehow overthrown by you. He couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t make any sense of you.

One minute, you are screaming at him, telling him that you don’t even want to breathe the same air as him. Next, you are dancing with him, well, you could have been drunk out of your mind that time actually. Arguing again but for some reason agree the next morning to help him? To throw yourself in his arms and later on, shout at him again.

And now, you had just given him the bed. Without a fight, without anything. Jin couldn’t understand anything. He couldn’t understand you at all. So, he decided to do something he did understand and knew how to handle. Cook some dinner for the two of you, well, with whatever he could find in the kitchen. 

It would be an early dinner, but he didn’t think you would complain. You did go out on the waters with him without eating any breakfast, wanting to get out on the water as soon as possible in fear of the storm. And later on, sleeping through lunch in the caves. 

As you walked out of the bathroom, you were blessed with the sight of Jin shirtless in his swimming trunks. Hanging low, so low you could see the beginning of his v-line. You wanted to get closer. Wanted to know what he would feel like against your skin. To have his body move against yours.

He was cooking something on the stove. The faint smell of vegetables reached your nose as you took a deep breath. Your mouth salivated at the thought of finally eating something. Jin hummed as he stirred the two pots. You wanted to know what he was cooking and so, you walked up to him.

He didn’t notice you until you stood next to him. As he looked down on your body, he could see the outline of your boobs through the thin fabric. His cock instantly twitched at the delicious sight that was now in front of him.

Jin was quickly drawn from his thoughts when one of the pot’s contents started to boil, the hot drop of water landing on his arm. He jumped back, his reflexes doing all the work for him. His other hand pressed against the area where he’d burned himself.

“Are you okay?” You hadn’t quite understood what had happened, but your instinct told you to take hold of Jin’s arm. With your small hands compared to Jin’s, you moved his hands away. Examining the area where the water drop had hit. A little red but otherwise than that, it was fine.

At your sudden caring nature, Jin was caught off guard. He was supposed to be mad at you, but how could he be when you held his arm so tenderly? With your fingertips that grazed over his skin so lightly, checking for any bruising.

Pulling his arm back from you he muttered ‘I’m fine’ before he went back to cooking.The house, just like every house on the island, where stored with canned food. In case of an emergency or storm. Canned beans, rice and some sauce was enough for Jin to make a stew for the both of you. 

Jin took the pots of the stove. You blinked a few times, confused at Jin’s sudden outburst before you heard him say- “Dinner’s ready.” 

The two of you eat in silence. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as you thought it would be. Jin’s cooking skills were really good, given the few ingredients he had, he managed to make something really tasty. For that, you were grateful.  

When you finished eating your dinner, you waited for Jin to finish his. Sitting at the dinner table, you looked out of the big window. Rain poured down, wind catching the trees of the island. Making them sway. Oh, how you were thankful at this very moment to be inside with a roof over your head.

Jin watched you, when your focus was somewhere else, he could admire your beauty. If only that beauty could match your personality. He knew you weren’t as cold as you tried to be towards him. You were one of the most liked workers on the resort, your bright caring personality being behind it. So, why were you so hell bent on hating Jin?

“Why do you hate me?” Jin spoke, breaking the silence. You looked at him confused, not catching what he said at first.

“Why do you hate me?” He repeated. You gulped as you looked down on the floor.

“Why is that important now?” You asked, and he scoffed.

“Don’t I deserve to know after I saved your life? Come one y/n, you always dodge this question whenever I ask you. Just be honest for once.” Jin had a point. You did always avoid the question. Most often, you got mad because he didn’t already know. Well, maybe it was time for you to just tell him.

“The first summer I worked here…” you began, looking away as you could not look him in the eyes. “You stole my date.”

“Your date?” Jin questioned, trying to think about what you could have meant by that. You quickly grew annoyed.

“Yes, my date, the boy I was with all night at the beach party. The boy you stole from me and took back to your room doing God knows what.” At your words, Jin started laughing hysterically.

“What?!” You questioned. The boy shook his head, fighting tears coming out of his eyes from laughing to hard.

"You are not gonna believe me when I tell you. This is so funny.” He said and you waited for him to continue. Wanting to know what he meant by that.

“You flirted with my friend Sam, who happened to have a girlfriend at the time.” He explained and an ‘ohh’ left your lips.

“So yeah… I took him back to my room so he could sleep it off. I knew he had been fighting with his girlfriend that night and didn’t want you to get caught up in anything.” Well, that did explain a lot, you thought. Still, it didn’t explain why Jin started to steal your hook ups after that.

“Okay, I get that…” you started, “but why did you continue to steal my hook ups over the years?”

“Would you believe me if I said I was jealous?” Jin’s sudden honesty surprised you. It would make sense yes, but why would he be jealous? Unless…

“I’m just gonna head to the bathroom, be back soon.” Jin announced as he left the dinner table, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Focus y/n, there is no way Jin liked you, you thought. Standing up from the table as well, you took both yours and Jin’s empty bowls to the kitchen. As you placed them in the sink you quickly realized you needed to do something to distract yourself. Anything to take your mind off the fact that Jin might like you.

You tried to brush your fingers through your hair, fingers instantly getting stuck in it. You sighed. You hadn’t had enough time to brush your hair before getting out in the ocean. Your hair now a mess. In true little mermaid spirit, you opened the first drawer. Taking a fork, you sat down on the couch, trying your best to detangle your hair.  

The sight of you brushing your hair with a fork made Jin chuckle as he opened the bathroom door. His mood instantly lifted. Watching you from afar as you struggled, the fork getting stuck with each stroke.

“You are really taking the Ariel thing to the next level.” He chuckled as he approached you. As you looked towards him, the fork got stuck in your hair. Wincing, you tried pulling it away to no avail.

“Let me help you.” Jin said as he saw how you struggled. He sat down next to you, placing his hand over yours. You removed your hand, allowing him to hold the fork. He sat there for a little while. Removing the hair strands that had gotten stuck around it. 

“What’d you try to do? Brush your hair?” He asked and you muttered a ‘yes’. You felt stupid now. To have Jin baby you like this. When you felt the fork being removed, you tried to stand up. Only to have Jin place his hand on your shoulder, pushing you back down.

“Sit still.” He’d order you, and you’d listen. Feeling your ears turning red as carefully separated your hair into smaller sections with his hands. Working his way through it with his fingers, separating what had gotten tangled up earlier today. Skilful hands that worked quickly, but carefully.  

Eventually, you started to lean into his touch. Jin’s hands moved over to massage your scalp once they were done untangling your hair. You let out a quiet moan as you took a deep breath. The sound made Jin want to bend your over this couch right here, right now.

He stopped massaging your hair, ready to move away from you before he wouldn’t be able to resist those urges. Before he could move, you’d already turned your head. As you looked him in the eyes, head tilted upwards, you wanted nothing more than to have him closer. Jin felt the same as unknown forces pushed you together. No longer able to deny the obvious.

You looked down, staring at his lip. Oh, how you wished you could just taste them. You bit your lip, silencing the whine coming from your mouth at the thought of it. As Jin looked where your focus was, he couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

Grabbing your face with one hand, he roughly placed his lips over yours. You were surprised for a second but quickly melted into the fierce kiss, kissing him back with even more desire. Taking hold of your hair with his other hand, Jin pulled your head to the side. Your lips disconnected as he started working his way down your neck, kissing every part of it.

“This okay?” He’d ask as he placed a sweet kiss just below your ear. You hummed and that was all Jin needed to continue working on his art. He wanted to mark you. To let everyone know you were his. You let out a moan when his lips brushed over your sweet spot. Jin smirked against your neck before he sucked roughly on your sweet spot. Earning yet another moan from you.

“You like it princess? Like it when I mark you up so everyone knows who you belong to?”

“Yes Jin.” You moaned, allowing lust to completely take over your body. As Jin continued to mark you up, leaving hickey’s wherever he pleased, his hands started to trail your body.

“Let me know if you want me to stop.” You trusted him, knowing you could stop at any time. But hearing those words made you feel butterflies in your stomach.  You felt reassured, happy and safe.

Jin’s hands moved to slip under your kimono, your nipples already hard as he began playing with them. Circling, twisting and pulling, Jin took his time with them. You could feel your arousal when you shifted your legs, desperately trying to find any friction that could relieve your aching core.

Jin noticed how you squirmed, and he could barely believe it. He had you all to himself now, squirming under his hands. Your body moved on its own accord. Breathless moans and whines leaving your mouth that only made Jin harder. You could feel him now. As you pressed your backside backwards, you could feel his hard cock against your butt cheek.

He wanted to devour you and he couldn’t wait any longer. You started growing impatient, complaining as Jin started to move away from you.

“What’s taking you so long?” You whined only to hear him scoff. As you turned your head around, you were met with his burning gaze.

“I don’t remember Ariel being able to speak on her vacation to the surface. I think we need to change that.” Jin spoke and you were reminded of the movie, how the princess voice was taken away from her in exchange for her to be able to walk on land. You couldn’t believe he was still referencing it. “On your knees princess.”

You did as you were told. Jin parted his legs, allowing you to sit in between them. You got down on your knees, looking up at him with pleading eyes. You were, however, not short on your snarky comebacks.

“Now what?”  

“Now… we put that mouth to better use. Open up.” Opening your mouth, you waited while Jin took off his swimming trunks. The second his half hard cock springed out, your pussy clenched at the sight. It wasn’t the biggest you’d ever seen but it was definitely above average. Your mouth watering at the thought of having him inside any of your holes. 

His hand grabbing hold of your hair, this time not as roughly as he guided you to his cock. With your lips wrapped around it you teased the tip for a bit before Jin pulled you further down on it. The feeling so heavenly that you closed your eyes. Still holding your hair, Jin bobbed your head up and down his length. Your moans muffled by the cock in your mouth.

“It seems like we solved our little problem. Your voice seems to be gone princess.” You only moaned more at Jin’s dirty talk. Feeling your arousal drip down your thighs at this point as there was no underwear to stop it. The kimono being your only piece of clothing. Your pussy clenched at the thought of being so wet that you were leaking down on the floor. 

“Can’t talk with your mouth stuffed with cock, now can you?” As he mocked you, you swirl your tongue around his tip. A firm grip with your hand around the base, pumping what you couldn't fit in your mouth. Earning a moan from Jin, his head thrown backwards against the couch. His eyes closed as he breathlessly asked you. "Can you take it deeper princess?"

You responded by taking him further down. The tip of his dick resting at the beginning of your throat. Taking a deep breath, you tried taking him further, only for your gag reflex to kick in. 

Gagging on his dick, you pulled him out. Still holding your hand firmly around his dick. Pumping his length as you rested your mouth and throat for a while. Jin sat up, stroking your hair before tilting your head upwards. His hand resting on your chin as he did. 

When you met his eyes, you saw that they were filled with concern. His gaze soft as he looked into your tear filled eyes.

"Hey, hey… You don't have to…" He reassured, but you shook your head. His hand letting go of your face as you did. 

"I want to." You wanted so badly to take his dick down your throat. To watch him fall apart because of you. You weren't even in the mood to tease him. You just wanted to make him cum. 

It just that it had been a while since you… well… had given anyone a blowjob. Too busy studying at university and Jin cockblocking you all summer. He wasn’t exactly small either.

Determined, you tried again. You almost choked at first, suppressing the feeling as you heard Jin groan. This time, you took him down your throat a little further than the first time. Taking a deep breath through your nose, holding it in. The sounds that came out of his mouth were more than enough to encourage you. 

This time, you could almost take all of him down, bobbing your head up and down his length. His cock grazing your throat each time, your cheeks hollow. Wanting Jin to cum, wanting him so desperately to be at your mercy. To be the only one who could pleasure him like this. 

“Oh fuck, just like that…” Jin moaned and you felt his cock twitch as you repeated the action. Sucking in your cheeks as much as you could. Hearing his breathing getting more and more ragged the closer to the edge he got. His hands gripping your hair desperately to hold onto anything as he got right to the edge. 

“So close… gonna cum…” He warned and you backed away a little, focusing on swirling your tongue around his tip as you let your hands take care of the rest of his girth. Jin cumming inside your mouth as you squeeze his dick a little harder, milking his cum into your mouth. Letting him ride out his orgasm as you sloppy kept one of your hands on his dick, moving slowly up and down. Jaw tired from all the work you had to do. 

As Jin slumped down onto the couch, you let go of him completely. Swallowing his cum as you slumped down on the floor as well. Exhausted, you allowed yourself to close your eyes and rest for a bit. 

Well, that’s until you felt Jin take hold of you, his hands firmly placed on the side of your boobs as he lifted you up on the couch. Laying you down on the couch as he climbed on top of you. 

“Don’t you dare think for one second I’m done with you.” He growled as he wrapped his lips around your niple, sucking on it while he played with the other one with his hand. Taken completely by surprise, you moaned at the sensation. Jin switched between sucking and circling your nipples with his tongue. Occasionally, grazing them with his teeth. Always giving attention to the other nipple that he didn't have his mouth on with his hand. 

Your pussy aching to be touched by now, your legs rubbing together to try and create any friction for your neglected clit. Jin noticed it right away, a smirk on his lips as you started to whine. 

“Please Jin…” You pleaded, asking for anything at this point. Taking hold of one of your legs, he hoisted it up on the couch backrest. His other hand taking hold of the other leg, pushing it towards you, spreading you wide open for him. Your pussy clenching and leaking as he kissed your thighs with feather like kisses. 

"Don't worry princess, I'll take care of you." His voice deeper as he cooed you. His eyes looked up only to see your glistering pussy, groaning at the sight. The sweet smell of it made him want to taste you even more and stop teasing you. 

Giving in, he dived in, parting your legs even further. Spreading you out for even more as he put two of his fingers between your folds, separating them. His tongue vibrated against your clit as he moaned when he finally wrapped his lips around it.

You cried out. Throwing your head back as one of your hands desperately took hold of his hair. Any other day Jin would scold you for ruining his hair but today he couldn’t care less. Not when it felt so good everytime you tugged at it every time he would suck a little harsher, lick a little faster on your clit. The sounds you made, God, you sounded like an angel that was brought down from heaven for him and him only. The sound was like music to his ears. 

You truly felt as if you were in heaven. Your orgasm approaching quickly thanks to Jin’s skillful mouth and your general absence from sex. It had been way too long someone had treated you this good. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, you felt Jin tease a finger at your entrance. Tracing it with circle motions, but never entering you. 

“Please Jin… just give it to me…” You pleaded and Jin stopped working on your clit. A whine leaving your lips. Bucking your hips into his face in a desperate attempt to get him back where you wanted him. A smirk on his lips as he watched your naked body, the sight of your breasts moving up and down as you breathed heavily. His finger still teased your entrance as you tried to get it, moving your hips. 

“Why? So you can rip my hair out even more?” At Jin’s words, you looked down on him. His hair being a mess with your hand gripping it tightly. His dirty blond strands were all over the place. When did you even grip his hair? You thought as you let go of it. 

“Sorry…” You mumbled, brushing through it with your hand in an attempt to make it better. Jin only smiled sweetly at you. His lips even more plump, glistering with your wetness. Eyes full of mischief and care. 

“It’s okay… You close princess?” The endearing nickname making butterflies fly around in your stomach. You nodded, not trusting your words as Jin was still teasing your entrance. 

“Hmm… What else could I do for my princess to make her feel good?” Jin asked playfully and just as you were about to answer him, he slipped his finger inside you. The unsuspected action making you moan. Moving his finger in and out of you slowly. 

“Oh maybe that?” Jin playfully said, one of his eyebrows raised as he observed you. A smile on his lips as you kissed your thigh harshly, a whine leaving your lips as he did. Looking up again once he was done with leaving another mark. His finger still moving in and out at a slow pace. 

“It’s better where it’s wetter, isn’t it princess?” Jin joked. Of course he would make a fucking ‘the little mermaid’ refrence as he was fingering you, you thought. Wishing he could just stop teasing you and make you cum. 

“Bet I could just slip in two… or even three fingers right now… You’d like that princess, wouldn’t you? To feel full?” Jin spoke as he let another finger enter you. You arched your back at the sensation as Jin continued. “Fuck you’re wet, you’re taking my fingers so well princess. Could you handle another?”

You chanted out ‘yes, yes, yes’ as you wanted was more of Jin. More of him. He added a third finger and you clenched around them, loving how full you felt. Moaning when Jin curled his fingers inside you, finding your g-spot. 

“Does it feel good like this?” He asked and you responded by moaning, a satisfied smile on his lips. Happy with your response. “Just you wait until I finally get to fuck you and you’ll feel my dick inside you. Oh what I would do to be inside you right now.” 

The thought of Jin being inside you was too much, you almost came at the thought of it. How he would probably put you in whatever position he pleased, anywhere and everywhere he wanted. Fucking you so deep and hard you wouldn’t be able to walk for days. 

“Please… Just make me cum… I can’t…” You pleaded, asking Jin to have mercy on you as your legs started to tremble. Feeling as your eyes started to water. The overstimulation was almost too much for you. 

“Shh princess, I got you. You can let go whenever.” He cooed before going down on you again. Speeding up his fingers just a little as he wrapped his lips around your clit. Taking you over the edge the moment he started sucking on it. Slowing down his fingers and kitty licking your clit as you rode down your high quite literally. Bucking your hips as you tried to get away from Jin, your oversensitivity quickly kicking in once you came down. 

Jin pulled out his fingers as he continued eating you. Long strokes with his tongue as he collected all your wetness, savouring the taste of you. Cleaning you up until you started pushing him away due to the slight pain coming with your oversensitivity. 

“Alright, alright.” Jin laughed, getting up from the couch. Standing in front of you, he held out his hand for you to take. 

"Want to join me in the shower?" With the wonderful bliss that you felt after your orgasm still lingering in your body, you nodded. You had just seen him naked and he had seen you. There was no harm in it, right? 

Taking his hand, you followed him into the bathroom. Jin had already turned on the water in the shower as you entered the bathroom. Both of you stepped into the shower once the water was hot enough. The water soothing against your burning skin. Still hot from all your previous activities. You closed your eyes for a moment. 

While you were standing there, content, Jin observed you. Watching as the water dropped down your body. Making your skin look like it glowed. A sigh of relief leaving your lips as you brushed your hand through your detangled hair. Jin thought he was the luckiest man on earth.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, and you opened your eyes. His gaze was soft and you felt safe under it. As if he was some angel sent to watch over you, to make sure you were safe. Despite the near death experience and the storm raging on outside, you did feel safe. Because of him. His presence, caring nature and genuine concern for you. 

Who were you to deserve a man like that? Your thoughts started to spiral, the smile you had on your face faded. A sigh of disappointment leaving your lips, and Jin noticed it. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I just need some space, some time… I’ll just go to sleep and we’ll talk about it tomorrow?” You quietly said, biting your lip. Holding in the tears that so desperately wanted to roll down your cheeks. Jin didn’t deserve your crap, and you certainly didn’t deserve him. 

“Yeah… of course.” His voice, equally quiet as yours. Jin didn’t know where all of this came from, but he wasn’t going to push you. Much had happened in the last 12 hours after all. Maybe you didn’t have any feelings for him. Maybe he was just imagining it all. A bitter truth that Jin was beginning to accept as you nodded at his response before you left the shower. Leaving him alone with his thoughts.

As you laid on the couch, covered in a blanket that barely gave you any heat, you waited for Jin to go to bed. He spent more time in the shower than you thought he would. Holding in your tears, hiding underneath the blanket as you waited for Jin to go to sleep. 

When you heard the bedroom door close, you let all of your feelings out. Sobbing into the blanket, your body shaking from all the sadness it had been filled with. You wanted to let it all out. Pouring your heart out as the storm drowned out your cries. 

You didn’t deserve him. The moment he had called you beautiful, you couldn’t help but to think it was all unreal. It was just a dream. A moment the two of you had shared. Nothing more, nothing less. Tomorrow, when the building crew that is working on the island comes to work, you’ll be saved. Everything will go back to the way it was. Right? 

But how were you supposed to hate him when you… No. There was no way you had fallen for Jin. Kim Seokjin who made it his life mission to make your life as difficult as possible. Who always stole your hook-ups for selfish reasons. Yeah, there was no way you were falling for him. 

But if you weren’t, then why did it hurt so much? Why did it hurt so much to see him disappointed in you? See him sad, see him hurt, see him almost dying. Why did your body ache at the thought of not being good enough for him? Why did you feel as if you wanted to throw up when you thought about all the hurtful things you’d told him for years. Jin was right about one thing, he should have left you in the ocean. 

You said you wanted space which was the only reason Jin didn’t leave the bedroom to console you. Hearing your cries made his heart ache, but he began to understand why you’d said you needed space. It was all probably very overwhelming for you. While he might have had a crush on your for years now, this was most likely all new to you. Or so he’d like to think. Why else were you crying on the couch right now instead of joining him on the bed? 

Two sleepless hours of crying later and you admitted defeat. You wouldn’t be able to ever fall asleep, at least not like this. You needed to make things right with Jin. How else were you supposed to be able to wake up tomorrow? To face him? 

You threw off the blanket and got up from the couch. With goosebumps on your skin, just the thin kimono covering your body, you made your way over to the bedroom. You dragged your feet across the floor, head hanging low knocking lightly before opening the door. Jin was laying on his side underneath the covers. His hair splayed out on the pillow, looking like an angel from what you saw in the dark. The occasional flashes from the lightning giving you a glimpse of his features. Almost asleep as you quietly made your way over to the bed. 

He opened his eyes to see you awkwardly standing beside the bed. Looking for the right words to say as you twiddled with your thumbs. Looking down as you took a deep breath, not daring to look Jin in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” You begin with, unsure what you were apologizing for really but you knew you had a lot of apologizing to do. “... for the things I’ve said… and done… I just-”

“Shh it’s alright.” Jin interrupts you, taking hold of the covers, pulling them aside. “Just come here, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” 

He invited you to his bed, despite everything, without hesitation. You really didn’t deserve him, you thought as you climbed into the bed. Laying down next to him, he pulled the covers over the both of you. His arm sneaking around your body to pull you closer to him. You almost let out a yelp out of surprise but quickly relaxed in his embrace. His body flushed against yours. 

“I’m so sorry Jin, for-” 

“I know, I know y/n… You’re forgiven, I promise... Just try and get some sleep okay?” Jin promises and you respond with a quiet ‘okay’. Jin rarely said your name and so, you felt that his promise to you was genuine. Finally, you were able to breath without it feeling as if someone was sitting on your chest. Closing your eyes, you moved your head around a little before finding a comfortable position to sleep in. 

“Good night y/n.” 

“Good night Jin.” 

The following morning, you woke up in Jin’s arms. Hearing him snoring slightly behind you. You chuckled, your chest vibrating, waking Jin up. Groaning, he pulled you even closer to him, almost squeezing you. 

“Don’t even think about leaving the bed for another hour.” He warned, voice hoarse and you snorted. 

“As if, you’re so warm and the rest of the house is so cold.” As the words leave your mouth, Jin let’s go of your body a little. His voice being more steady now as he starts to tease you. 

“Yah… are you using me for my warmth? I’m deeply hurt.” You chuckled and Jin couldn’t help but to smile as he felt your whole body being filled with joy. 

“Maybe…” You teased back. You hadn't felt so happy in several months as you did right in this moment. With Jin beside you, the sun suddenly wasn’t as bright. Jin’s warmth was brighter than anything you had ever felt before. 

“That’s it.” You heard Jin say before he attacked you. Strong arms gripping around your body to give him all the leverage he needed to tickle you. His hands skillfully drawing out high pitched screams from you as he tickled your stomach. Your legs and arms fly everywhere as you try to get away from him. 

“JIN... NO... PLEASE…” You managed to say in between laughs. Being the gentleman he is, he stopped at last. Growing tired of holding you still enough for him to be able to tickle you. 

You weren't convinced that he was done however, thinking you finally somehow escaped his embrace. One idea came to mind. You climbed on top of him. Taking hold of his wrists to either side of his face. His goofy smile shined back at you. 

“Pinning me down first thing in the morning. If you wanted me that bad you should have just told me princess.” He teased, knowing you would be embarrassed. With your ears now red you looked away from him. Letting go of his wrists as you bit your lip. Suddenly thinking of last night's thoughts. 

“Aww… and I thought we were just about to get kinky...” Jin whined and you ignored him, too caught up in your own thoughts. Suddenly painfully aware your core was right above his dick. You needed to have a discussion about this, about what the two of you are before you could do anything else. You needed to focus. 

You turned your head towards him, meeting Jin’s eyes. “Can you have a serious conversation with me, even though I’m sitting on top of you?” 

“Is that even a question?” He snorted and you slapped him lightly on the arm. Offended, Jin rubbed the area where you’d just slapped him with his other hand. Letting out a sigh as he sees you crossing your arms. Ignoring how delightful your boobs looked underneath the thin kimono as you did so. Reminded of last night's events suddenly.

“Yes I can.” He said, knowing you probably had things you wanted to say. Considering he didn’t let you last night. 

You think for a few seconds before you begin. “Jin… You’re so much more than I ever thought. So much better than whatever villain version I was painting up in my head and I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I probably don’t deserve you or this, whatever this is and I’m honestly scared…” You confessed. As you had started speaking, Jin had soothening rubbed circles on your things. Looking into his eyes as you continued. 

“I think I want something… But that’s only of course if you want something... Maybe this was just a one time thing for you…” You started to ramble and Jin takes you by surprise as he sets up.His face being only inches away from yours. Staring deeply into your eyes, he caressed your face.

“Of course I want something with you.” He soothed and you let out a breath of relief. 

“Okay that’s good… Well… I guess what I wanted to say was… Can we take it slow? Figure it all out before we move further?” 

“What’s further than my dick down your throat and my tongue inside your pussy? Me inside you? Assplay?” Jin joked and you shook your head out of disbelief. Though you couldn’t help that the thought of it awoke a certain type of need in you. 

“I seriously can’t with-” Before you could finish your sentence, Jin had already pressed his lips against yours. Softly and playfully kissing you as you giggled into the kiss. Annoyed that you weren’t able to focus on him, only laughing in his face (literally) he moved onto your neck. Pressing feather light kisses to it. Only a man could stop himself for so long when he had a beautiful girl confessing she wanted something with him, half naked on his lap. He wanted you, and he wanted you now.  

You were both interrupted by loud noises coming from the outside. As you tried to listen, you suddenly heard your name being shouted followed by Jin’s. The rescue team was here. You almost threw yourself off the bed in surprise. Jin groaning as you left his lap, his head thrown back. 

“Really? We are about to be saved from being stranded, and you’re complaining?” You questioned and Jin scrunched his face shaking his head lightly. 

“Yah, why do you have to say it like that? I wouldn’t exactly mind if they came an hour later or so. That’s all.” Jin said as he got up from the bed. Stretching his back as he yawned with his arms up in the air. You laughed, shaking your head before you replied to him. 

“Come on now… let’s go home.” 

The rest of the day was spent in meetings with your boss and other people higher up at the resort. They apologized profusely for what you and Jin had to go through. Offering you a week off to just enjoy your time at the resort. Jin had denied the offer quickly, saying you will work as usual and that they will be contacted by his lawyer regarding the incident. 

You’d left the meeting earlier than Jin, he reassured that he would take care of it. It was enough for your exhausted body to give in and go back to your apartment. You wanted nothing more than to rest for a little while, to let your sore muscles heal.

As you changed into something a little more comfortable, you couldn’t help but to think back to the last 24 hours. You and Jin had almost drowned. You were stranded on an island. Well, inside a fancy hotel resort condo but nonetheless still stranded. You’d spend so much time with Jin. Seeing a different side of him as you finally allowed yourself to open up to him. 

With your mind filled with blissful thoughts of Jin, you fell asleep. Not even bothering to pull down the blinds as the sun shined through your window. Exhausted, you allowed yourself to relax and sleep. To heal from all the bad that came with all the good. 

You were woken up from your nap by a knock on the door. Looking at the clock, you realized several hours had gone by and it was suddenly evening. Your room was dark, the sun had gone down already. You were confused as to who could want something from you at this hour, so you dragged yourself out of bed to look. Opening the door, you were met with Jin. A bright smile on his lips as he held two containers of food in his hands. The beginning of something new. 

From that point on, Jin didn’t leave the containers outside your door. The two of you always ate dinner together. Making new routines, getting acquainted with the idea of being something other than enemies. Something sweeter. Something more joyful. The best part? You had two months left of the summer to spend together. Two more months of just you and Jin. Bound together by tides that just happened to be right on time.

#bangtanhq #bangtanidx #smutcentralnet #thekimlinenet #BB2020 #seokjin smut #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader

[write-orflight]

Galileo. Prologue

**Gif Not Mine**

Next Chapter

Pairings: SpencerXReader, enemies to friends to lovers trope

Rating: M

Words: 1.5K (She’s a smol Prologue)

Warnings: None right now. but will eventually be smut. 

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N is an astronomer with her head constantly in the stars. But when a serial killer is threatening NASA’s top scientists, she is left in the protective custody of a man who’s gravitational pull threatens to pull her back down to earth.

A.N Hey, my children! This is an idea that’s been plaguing me for weeks and I just had to get at least the prologue out (This series is mainly just my excuse to get my pointless knowledge about space out there). I’m probably not going to update this until I finish ‘trouble’ which should be in this next coming week. I’m just really excited about this one and wanted to put it out there too. Message to be on the taglist! -Cia

                         Prologue: Mercury 

There are 400 billion stars in the galaxy. 

Some insignificant, some small, some large, and some with great potential. 

Humans were the same way. Though most were insignificant to you, which is why you didn’t indulge in the trifles of relationships and companionship. The stars were far more interesting to you. 

And you spent your life studying them. 

Ever since your dad bought you your first telescope at age 7, you knew exactly what your purpose was. To study and find out what else was out there. And for a while that was all you did, all through school, no time for boys, friendship and trivial prepubescent things, your mind was literally in the clouds. That carried you all the way to Yale where you graduated Summa cum Laude with 3 Phds in Astronomy, Engineering, and Physics. 

Getting the job at NASA wasn’t surprising to you at all. 

Meeting Jonathan was. 

Your first day together had been uneventful, you had been introduced and told your assignment which was to just track the movement of a comet that came every fifty years. A couple of months in and by pure accident you saw her. 

It couldn’t be. 

You immediately yelled at him to come over, to confirm that you were just crazy but he had seen it too. You had just discovered a planet. And not just any planet one that through your research could very well sustain human life. Jonathan, though not knowing you long, picked you up in a giant hug and swung you around. You couldn’t help the smiles and tears that had fallen from your eyes. This was exactly why you were doing this, for the art of discovery and the overwhelming feeling that came with it. 

After weeks of convincing the boards and getting funding, you and Jonathan were now heads of your own department solely designed for tracking and finding new information on Gaia, the planet the two of you graciously named. Now your nights were filled with solving equations and trying to get more than a glimmer of Gaia from your telescope. Alas, as much as you loved her, she was very slow. Jonathan would play his old jazz records and sing off-key dancing around the planetarium gifted by NASA. You didn’t know exactly when they happened, but you started to feel like maybe all humans weren’t insignificant and you started to feel like that about Jonathan. You found yourself watching his bright smile as he danced and singed around, often asking you to please dance with him, which you always declined. 

Now you wish you had. 

If you knew it’d be the last time, you for sure would have. 

But no one could’ve predicted a serial killer coming after NASA scientists. 

And no one could’ve predicted you walking into work and seeing your best friends throat slit ear to ear. 

————————————————— 

The months following Maeve’s death were hard on Spencer. He was a man of science, he knew probability and often relied on statistics for his job. The predictability of it was what made it easy to cope.  

But sometimes it wasn’t. And sometimes he hated the unpredictability of his job. 

Losing Maeve had definitely been one of those days. 

On one of his first couple weeks back, he’s called into the briefing room. 

“We don’t have to go far for this case.” JJ says manning the slides to show the team “Four NASA scientists at the Goddard Flight Center in Maryland have been found in their offices, throat slit and hands bound with duct tape behind the back.”

“Execution style…” Morgan says with a grimace. “Brutal.” 

“Obviously someone angry too.”  Emily adds. “To just do it like that, no sign of remorse. But the jaggedness of it makes it look passionate.” 

“The police and NASA believe they know who the next target is as well.” JJ adds moving to the next slide which showed a beautiful girl standing in front of a whiteboard of equations. Long silky hair tied up in a bun, glasses on her face and bright white teeth shown through the smile. You could obviously tell the picture was taken for an article or sort. Spencer thought she was cute but didn’t dwell on it long. “This is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. She worked alongside Victim #4, Jonathan Brewer as co-head scientists of the Terra-Mora project.” 

“They think the Unsub is specifically targeting her department and people who have done work for her department. And if he’s already killed the partner...” Hotch trails off. 

“He’s escalating…” Spencer adds. 

“Which puts her under extreme risk. Which is why I’m putting her in protective custody.” Hotch adds. “Reid, I’d like you to do that.” 

Spencer looks confused. “Why me? Shouldn’t someone like Morgan or Prentiss go?” 

“I’ve been told Dr. Y/L/N is very reluctant about having security. I figured having someone as intelligent as her would cushion the blow.” 

Spencer leaned back in his chair. Great… just what he needed. 

————————————— 

“No, Clifton.” 

“It’s not up for discussion, Y/N.” Cliff says walking away from you down the hall. You speed up to catch up with him. 

“I’m 31 years old! I don’t need a babysitter.” You said, angrily. 

“You’re not getting a babysitter, Y/N. The FBI is being gracious enough to provide you extra security. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you people are dying.” 

“You know you don’t have to remind me! I lost Jon!” 

“Then you know why you have to take protection, Y/N. You know what important work you and Jonathan were doing. You’re the only one left to finish it. Please just let someone take care of you while they catch the sick man who’s doing this.” You sigh, Cliff takes that as compliance. “Now get to work. I’ll show him to your office when he gets here.” 

You walk into work and look at the time, 10:30 PM, peak time for planets to be seen. And if you were lucky, you’d probably get a glimmer of her again. You were right because just as soon as you stepped up to the telescope there she was, or more like there was a sliver of her. You’ve never been able to get a full look at Gaia, but just past Saturn was the curvature of the dwarf planet you adored so much. You pick up your tape recorder, and begin to speak into it.

“January 16th, Terra-Mora logs. This is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. Dr. Jonathan Brewer has passed and will no longer be making logs.” You choke up a bit but clear your throat and keep going. “Gaia’s Southwest region is visible from earth tonight. Seems her clouds are finally dissipating, and you can see some of her icy plains, I am pretty positive it’s a lake. Hopefully with the Approval of SPOT, we’ll be able to know for sure what’s up there.” You look at your door to see your boss, Dr. Clifton and a man standing watching you. “Y/L/N out.” You say into the tape recorder. 

You get up to walk over the two men. 

“You know everyone does their logs into the computers now, no one uses an actual tape anymore.” Clifton says. 

“I’m old fashioned.” You cross your arms. 

“This is Dr. Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. He will be watching you while we figure out what’s happening.” 

“This is who’s supposed to be protecting me?” You ask. “You look like a strong wind would blow you over.” 

The man looks at you annoyed. “I can assure you, I’m more than capable of doing my job, Miss--” 

“Doctor.” You say. 

“Excuse me.” 

“It’s Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. And I worked very hard and paid a lot of debt for the title so I’d prefer it if you used it.” You looked annoyed right back at him. Something about the man rubbed you the wrong way. 

Dr. Clifton looks at the both of you uncomfortable. “Well I’ll leave you both to it.” He nods at you both before leaving you alone.  

“I think we got off on the wrong--” 

“Listen Dr. Reid.” You cut him off. “This is probably going to be hell for the both of us. I expressed heavily to my boss about not needing protective custody which of course fell on deaf ears, so I’m going to make one thing clear. We’re not here to be friends. I’m here to do important work that I now have to do single-handedly because you guys failed to do your work in the first place and my coworker had to die because of it.” Tears threatened to choke you but you didn’t let them. “And to be frank, I don’t know what exactly you’re here for besides being a pain in my ass so I suggest staying out of my way and not fucking touching anything. Keep that in mind and we’ll get along swimmingly.” You say, turning your back to him, heading back to the telescope and looking at him as if daring him to challenge you. For a second it looks like he might, he’s standing trying very hard not to look like he’s completely fuming. Then he just blows a frustrated breath and sits in a chair halfway across the room. 

You didn’t know why, and you didn’t have a real reason. 

But you decided that you hated Dr. Spencer Reid. 

Which you guessed was another thing humans could be.   

Message to be tagged!

#spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #bau x reader #spencer x reader smut #spencer reid x reader smut

[wreckofawriter]

Strawberries

Restaurant AU!

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Lewd language, swearing, a small mention of sexual harassment. tooth-rotting fluff.

Summary: You hate being a waitress for rich assholes, but maybe the new line cook will make it a little better

A/n: this is for week three of my Cliche Month. Sorry for being inactive. I suck at time management and have no motivation.

    You never aspired to be a waitress. You didn’t sit down in primary school on a ridiculously colorful rug and tell your underpaid depressed teacher that you wanted to wait on prestigious assholes and rich men who thought a 20 dollar tip bought them an ass grab. You never wanted to wait on entitled white women and spoiled brats. But shit happens.

   

“Yes ma’am I understand but that was last week’s special, we don’t serve it anymore.”

    The woman rolled her eyes, “I don’t think you do understand. I said I want the sea bass, just have them make the sea bass.”

    You bit back cusses, “I am very sorry ma’am but we don’t have the ingredients in the kitchen to make a sea bass. I can recommend our halibut it’s severed with a delicious mango chutney and-”

    “Shut up about the mango crap. She said she wants a seabass, give her a seabass.” The man who sat on the opposite side of the table spoke.

    Your smile almost faltered, “Sir, we don’t have sea bass.” 

    “Then get some.” The man huffed, “There are plenty of stores around.”

    You had already taken the fork beside him and jabbed him in the eye in your mind four times, “I am terribly sorry sir, we cannot do that.”

    The look on his face could only be described as disgust, “I would like to speak to your supervisor.”

    You took in a deep breath, “Sir, he will not say any different.”

    “Now girl.” He snapped, his wife’s smirk making you want to smash her champagne glass over her head.

    “I will be right back.” You forced a smile, notebook flipping shut as you turned, the click of your heels disappearing into the chatter of diners. You almost rubbed your tired eyes only to remember the makeup which coated them and dropped your hands back to your side. You walked towards the pass of the kitchen, the smell of fish and meats becoming stronger as waiters weaved around you. 

    “Denzel.” You called, the man in question turning towards you.

    He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

    “Can you pretend to be my supervisor?” You asked, “Some idiots still want to order the sea bass.” 

    “I’m assuming you told them that was last week's special.” He spoke as you began to lead him back to the couple.

    “Multiple times.” you sighed.

    He nodded smiles finding both of your faces as you stood in front of the table.

    “How can I help you both tonight?” He spoke, his voice dramatically shifting tones. 

    The woman went on to explain your complete incompetence just to hear your friend restate everything you had. She eventually ordered the halibut.

    Denzel left thanking them for their cooperation as you went on to take the man's order and pretending not to hear his wife calling you a bitch as you walked away. 

    You wanted to be a journalist, a warrior of justice. You wanted to expose the one percent, shattering their ivory towers with a mallet of words. 

Instead, you served them halibut and ribeyes with a smile as fake as their trophy wives tits. 

James had fallen in love with many things in his life but cooking had been the most prevalent. Most hobbies were tossed out windows, they became phases, leaving nothing but footprints in his life. But cooking had been different. Since he was five years old and would hop onto a stepping stool to peer into the cast-iron pan his mother would be sauteing in he had been hooked. By age 10 he was making things like meatballs and stroganoff. At fourteen he began to engage in more complicated dishes and by the time he hit culinary school he was easily the best in class. 

Now as he washed his hundredth dish of the night he wondered if all of that love had been for absolutely nothing. When applying for a line cook position at one of the most prestigious restaurants in London he definitely didn’t expect to be stuck as a dishwasher. 

James’ hands felt raw from scrubbing, his apron soaked with warm water and unscented soap. His feet were aching in his shoes, his jealousy for those putting together the night’s last desserts burning hot.

He ignored his anger and pushed on, washing plate after plate just to place them into an industrial-sized dishwasher which was supposed to thoroughly clean the dishes which he already spent hours scrubbing. Dessert plates and wine glasses seemed to replace every dinner plate he had washed, his work seeming endless as his coworkers said goodnight and walked out the back door. 

It took James another hour to finish. He felt like he could pass out on the kitchen floor. His glasses were a greasy steamed mess as he pushed them back up his nose for the nth time that evening. He sighed out in a mix of exhaustion and relief untying his apron and preparing to leave.

“So you’re the newbie?” 

James jumped letting out a small yelp as his heart leapt in his chest. 

You let out a snort hand coming to cover your mouth, a poor attempt of hiding your giggles.

“You scared the shit out of me.” James huffed his glare only holding for a moment as you came into focus. Your hair was up in a reckless bun, your waitress uniform slightly crumpled, heels held in your left hand. Yet your cheeks seemed to be painted, the smirk your visage held tantalizing. 

“I saw.” You snickered padding past him and dropping your shoes onto a counter with a small clink. You headed for the refrigerator, opening it and scorning over its contents. You finally settled on a container of cut strawberries, which were to be used as a garnish the next day, “You won’t tell will you?” You muttered peeling open the top and snatching a fork from the dishwasher.

James nodded, what for he wasn’t quite sure. 

You jumped onto the counter spinning to face him, “Sooo, what’s your name?”

“Uhh, James, James Potter.” He said leaning back onto the sink.

“It’s very nice to meet you, James.” You grinned, “I’m y/n y/l/n.” 

An awkward silence followed as you plopped a berry into your mouth, its flavor bursting as you side-eyed the man. 

“You’re a line cook right?” You asked, legs swinging in front of you. 

James pouted a bit, his cheeks puffing for a brief moment, “Well I’m supposed to be but so far all I’ve done is wash dishes and take out the trash.”

You hummed in understanding, swallowing fruit before speaking again, “They do that to every newbie. They want to make sure you can do the dirty work before they let you burn on the line.”

James started at you, “Really?” 

You shrugged, “That’s how it’s always worked.”

“That’s a relief I thought I was going to be stuck doing this shit.”  James relished in his found happiness feeling a bit more energized, “Hey what are you doing back here anyway, didn’t most of the waitresses leave like an hour ago?” 

“I just had to see if the new cook was as attractive as all the girls said he was.” You grinned.

James felt his cheeks flame, eyes going wide, “Are you serious?” 

“No,” You snickered, “I got hungry and didn’t feel like cooking.”

The heat of his cheeks only worsened, “That’s rude.”

You cooed, “Ooh poor baby I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings, are you going to be okay?” 

“I don’t know.” James huffed, “I don’t think I can take this harassment.” 

The laughter that echoed around him caused a smile to break onto his face. 

You suddenly realized he was as attractive as the other waitresses were saying. Even if his hair was a mess and his glasses were smudged. 

You hadn’t been lying. By his third week, James was helping with both garnish and desserts. His thirst for cooking finally being fulfilled even by the small tasks he had been given. He was still forced to do dishes at the end of service but usually, someone would help him or even trade-off with him so he could take part in prep. 

Most nights when he was left alone in the kitchen you would appear, always claiming to be hungry and that cooking was for “the weak.” so you would raid the fridge instead. You stated many times that veggies and leftover slices of cake were a fine dinner much to James’ distaste. 

“That's it.” The newbie announced, hands in the air in mock surrender as you opened a container of cauliflower. “This has to stop.”

Your heart sped in your chest, was he going to turn you in? 

“You can’t keep eating shit, I’m going to cook something for you.” James huffed, moving you aside and beginning to pull stuff from the refrigerator. 

You lifted your brows, “Are you sure?” 

James nodded, “You need to taste actual food.”

You rolled your eyes, “Couldn’t you get in, like, a lot of trouble.”

“You aren’t going to tell me, are you?” He smirked pulling out salmon and bok choy. 

“Obviously not.” You huffed taking your usual seat in the counter as James began to work, “What are you making anyway?”

“Asian inspired salmon.” He mumbled, lighting the stove and grabbing a frying pan. 

You sat in comfortable silence, watching as he cut the vegetable in half placing it into a pan and the salmon into another. James’ hands moved quickly, not hesitating with the large knives he handled and weaving through the meal as he grabbed seasonings and sauces.

By the time he was pulling the fish from the heat, the kitchen had filled with the scent of soy sauce and warmth.    

Grabbing a plate James placed on the salmon followed by the bok choy and the lemon sesame sauce. He wiped the rim with a damp rag and presented it before you with enough dramatics to earn a giggle.

“You’re ridiculous.” You spoke through a smile taking the fork from his offering hand and digging in. 

You placed the tender meat into your mouth and was greeted by an explosion of flavors that danced on your tongue like pixie dust. You hummed, a facade of deliberation on your face, “It's overcooked.” You started plainly watching as James’ face dropped. “I’m just kidding it's delicious.” You laughed as James rolled his eyes. 

“You are such a dick,” he mumbled, beginning to clean the slight mess he had made. 

“What are you doing?” You asked. James gave you a strange look, “Get a fork dumbass, you can’t make rich people food like this and then not eat it.” 

The smile that crept onto his face caused wings to erupt in your stomach. 

You had always hated teenagers. They were spoiled and greedy and gross. So when an older woman walked in with four 17-year-old boys you had fled the scene. Unfortunately, the waitress head placed you at the table anyway. The second you reached the table all four adolescence had fallen silent and you were positive it wasn’t them being polite. One of them started at your boobs the entire they ordered and you could feel their eyes on your ass as you walked away. 

You were used to the gross stares, every waitress was. It didn’t matter how expensive the food was there always seemed to be creeps asking for it. What you had not been prepared for was the boy closest to you to reach out and grab you. 

You didn’t hesitate, hand snatching his wrist before he had a chance to fully pull away. The woman the boys were with gasped. You squeezed his arm tight hoping he could feel your nails biting his skin. 

“Touch me again and I will cut your hand off. Am I clear?” You hissed, a whimper left the teen’s mouth and you released him. You placed his plate in front of him with a clatter and didn’t waste time walking away. 

Your anger didn’t diminish the rest of the night and by the time your shift was over you considered going straight home, a shower and an extra hour of sleep would serve you well.

You glanced into the kitchen, there were three chefs left, James stood in front of the sink smiling at nothing as he always seemed to do. A sigh left your lips, who needs sleep anyway?

“I’ll close up.” You called to the head waitress who shot you a skeptical look.

“You used to hate closing.” She mused, “What’s with the sudden change of heart?”

You shrugged, “Nothing in particular.”

She smirked, “So it has absolutely nothing to do with the new dishwasher?”

Pink bloomed on your cheeks, “He’s a line cook and no it doesn’t.”

“Uh-huh, sure it doesn’t.” She mocked, “If you’re gonna fuck just don’t do it in the kitchen.” 

Your face twisted in disgust and you almost dropped the napkins you held, “That is so gross.” 

She laughed, dropping the keys on the bar, “If I find any bodily fluids in my office you’re fired.” 

“You are disgusting.” You hissed, face hot and she only laughed harder.

You finished cleaning off the remainder of the tables, peeking into the kitchen occasionally as the last two cooks left for the night. 

The weight of your exertion hit hard as you entered the kitchen, legs seeming to give out as you bent down to remove your heels. 

James noticed your discomfort and let out a chuckle, “Let me.” 

You stood up a bit too quickly, head spinning for a second as you were lifted onto the counter, James crouching to slip off your shoes. You sighed leaning back onto your palms. 

“Tough day?” he asked, turning back to open the fridge. 

You nodded, “Kids are assholes.” 

James laughed, “And why's that?”

You yawned eyes watering from its force as you answered, “Well one little highschool shit grabbed my ass.”

James froze, he hand hovering midair as he processed what you had just told him, “What?”

“Oh yeah, entitled rich kids always think they can touch whatever they want. It's why I hate serving teenagers.” You complained not noticing the distress you had put James under.

“This happens regularly?” He was appalled.

    “Well not really regularly more like once a month, it’s not always teenagers though,” You explained, “Oo what’s that?” 

    James set the container of chocolate-covered strawberries in front of you. His mouth still agape “Once a month isn’t regular?”

    You huffed, “Can we stop talking about it? It happens to every waitress.”

    “Yeah, sorry,” James mumbled watching as you bit into a strawberry, lipstick smearing.

    “You going to have one of these?” You asked, holding one between your thumb and pointer finger. 

    “Sure.” James went to grab the strawberry only for you to pull it away with a grin.

    “No, no, I get to feed it to you.” Your smile was sweetly arranged. 

    Heat tingled on his neck like tv static, “Don’t be ridiculous y/n.” 

    “Oh come on James, don’t be a pussy.” You taunted waving the fruit in front of him as color painted his cheeks. 

    He glared at you in mock annoyance as his heartbeat began to run, “Fine.”

    You giggled as he took the berry into his mouth, lips barely grazing your fingertips as he pulled away. 

    James had never been more embarrassed in his life, he chewed the sweet fruit refusing to meet your eyes as you continued to laugh.

    “You’re cute ya’ know.” You giggled.

    James scoffed, a mix of bittersweet coming from your words, “Whatever.” He walked away from you hiding his flushed face. 

    You whined, “I’m not joking. You are really cute.”

    “Seriously y/n stop,” James spoke, his voice laced with disappointment and melancholy. 

    You rolled your eyes, “You’re such an idiot James.” 

    He leaned against the refrigerator as you plopped another berry into your mouth. His arms crossed as a pout you had found yourself obsessed with took his lips. 

    “A few girls actually did want your number.” You hummed watching as he seemed to perk up, reminding you of a puppy given a toy. “I was supposed to get it for them, but I didn’t really want to.”

    James scrunched his brows, “Why not?”

    “Cause I wanted your number dumbass.” You scoffed, “I wasn’t about to give it to someone else.” `

    This only confused him more, “Why would you want my number?”

    A groan lifted from your lips, “Your skull is so thick James. I want your number because you’re cute and funny and all that shit.” your voice fell to a mumble and your eyes became glued to your swinging feet.

    “Why didn’t you ask for my number?” James challenged and you felt your already warm face grow hot. 

    “I was nervous.” You muttered bitterly not liking the vulnerable position you had been put into.

    James was suddenly stepping towards you “What was that?” he grinned hand to his ear mockingly.

    “You’re enjoying this too much.” You grumbled, “Look I like you, I think you’re cute and sweet and funny now are you going to continue being a dick or give me a proper response?” 

    James continued to beam, stepping closer to you as you glared up at him with pink cheeks. 

    “Well, you’re really cute too.” James said, “And I think you were being the dick for making me try to impress you for three weeks only to say you liked me the entire time.”

    You were tempted to bury your head in your hands but considering that would mean you breaking his gaze you stopped yourself, “Oh fuck off.” you muttered heart thudding so loud you wondered if James could hear it.

    “Is that really what you want?” He questioned already knowing the answer. He leaned over you cupping your cheek.

    “Just kiss me already asshole.” You murmured.

    James tilted your head up to meet his lips. They were soft and plush, a thousand times better than you imagined them to be nights before. Your thighs parted as his own pressed against the counter between them in desperation to be closer to you. Closed kisses turned to open-mouthed ones, leaving the pleasant taste of strawberries on your tongue. 

Taglist:

@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings @coldlilheart

Masterlist

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #james potter imagines #james potter x oc #james potter ship #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james #marauders au #marauders era fic #harry potter marauders #marauders era #marauders imagine #marauders imagines #marauders x you #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #marauders x oc #james potter #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #harry potter fanfic rec #harry potter fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[chemicallady]

Daddy is home

Greg Sanders x Reader

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading this. If you want some fluff with just a little sadness, you're in the right place.

Couple: Greg Sanders/Female!Reader

Category: Mostly fluff with a little piece of angst. Family slice of life for Greggo.

Content Warning: none

Summary:  Reader is use to feel Greg absence.... but what about is own children? And Greg? What's more important? His job or his family?

*****

You are use to feel Greg absence, almost every night and, sometimes, even for days. It wasn't a big deal when you two started to see each other. You were a grad student, looking for a PhD out of town - searching for a new experience- and he was a lab tech at the crime lab in Vegas. Your relationship had worked for 5 years while you were in Salt Lake City, even if you constantly missed him so much and viceversa. He spent a lot of utahns weekends at your apartment and you came back in Nevada for every break.

After your PhD graduation you came back to Vegas and he proposed to you. It was an hard time, Warrick was dead, he had printed is first book on Vegas history and you just settled down at UNLV. You had lived togheter two months and then he proposed. Of course you said yes and the two of you had a small cerimony at the Eclipse, Catherine's casinó. It was an intimate cerimony, with your friends and co workes and relatives from Norway and (your hometown/country.)

You had worked hard on your post doc as a teaching assistant and a researcher and he has continued his job as a csi. You have always prefered working at night the days you didnt have any class, in order to be awake when he came back home in the morning.

It worked since you discovered that you were pregnant. Both of you were so excited to become parents, it has always been something that you desire, having your own kids. Start a family.

After Bjorn birth, by the way, everything changed. You have started to work in the morning and sleeping at night in order to provide the best standard of living for your son. And, after two years and half, Jodie came to the world, complicating thing but coloring your life even more.

You constantly miss Greg, of course. You miss your youth with him, the mornings spent in making love with jazz music in the background before a lazy afternoons sleeping in his arms. The days he came to the University after job to pick you up.

But both of you love your family.

It's stil working.

Because you love him and Greg loves you more than anything.

More than that, he is born to be a dad. He was scared as hell, but he perfect fits that role.

Even more, he is methodical.

He is really good in keeping job separating from his personal life, even if his coworkers are his family. And yours as well.

☆

...But is hard for kids to understand why dad is never home. Especially for Bjorn, who is the eldest. He has started to notice this situation in the last weeks and you have been scared of this moment since you gave birth to him.

《 Why daddy can't come today?》

You look at your baby boy, feeling really sorry for the whole situation. It is his first baseball match with the pre school team as a player in the field from the first minute and it means a lot to him.

Bjorn's really smart for his age, he understand that his parents jobs are important because is a duty... But is natural that he feels so betrayed. He is still too young to even imagine how demanding is Greg's job.

《Because daddy has a case》, you try to explain with a soft voce, caressing his blonde hair with two fingers. He seems totaly like his father in this moment. 《He has to catch this big bad guy and-》

《Why uncle Nick is not catching him for daddy? Just for today! 》

《Because they work togheter, sweetheart... you know that. We already talk about daddy's job...》

Not in a specific way, of course. Greg is more like a super hero to Bjorn.... he is too innocent and young to know how cruel and horrible could be the world sometimes.

《It's not fair. He never came to see me play》

《That's not fair... you know that daddy is so sad for this... he ask me to shot everything so he can see it as long as he will be home!》

That doesn't help.

《And I'll be already in bed》 he snuffles, before running in his room, nearly cry.

You don't know how to manage this. Both of Greg and you are really indipendent.... that's why your wedding is so strong, because you don't need the other around one all the time.

But for Bjorn is different. He needs his daddy as he needs you. Most of that, he wants to make Greg proud of him, shows him how he has improved thanks also to their weekend practices on Sundays.

You are still thinking about a solution, but Jo start to cry from her playbox.

You have to speak with your husband and decide what tell to Bjorn, togheter.

He deserves a good explanation.

☆

It's late when Greg comes home.

He is surprised when he notice that the kitchen lights are still turned on. You are sitting at the table, looking at your laptop as you can't really see it.

《 y/n, baby?》, he calls you, waking you up from your thoughts. 《Are you ok? It's like 3 in the morning, sweetie.》

《Yeah, I was looking over some notes from next week semenary when I realised how late it was, I decided to wait for you to come back.》

《Thanks, after a couple of double shifts, I really need to speak with my wife》, he says with a smile, before kisses your lips and take a sits next to you. 《I've missed home in those last two days.》

《Have you slept a little?》, you ask worried. When a case is so demanding, the team works till they are exhausted. 《Did you have a propel meal?》

《...I ate two sandwiches Dr Robbins' wife made for us.》

《....there is some roast left. I'm gonna warm it for you and then I'll put you in the bed at least for nine hours, bright man》

He laughts a little. 《Yes ma'am.》

You stand up, caressing his hair, after place a kiss on his head. 《Tell me about the cause. Was that bad?》

《More like a nightmare....》

He starts talking about the brutal abductions he was working on those last days. In the meanwhile you are cooking for him. You open a good bottle of wine your father sent to you last week and prepare a couple of fine glasses. Is not a problem for you when Greg talks about his job. For some unknown reasons, it grows on you during the years togheter. You also have helped the team sometimes with you competences. It's quite normal for the two of you speaking about your day. It helps to split away the stress and find always your connection. And is always reliving for you see that even if the job is so demanding physically and emotionally, Greg can totaly handle it. Not only. He loves is job. Even in dark days like this one.

《Poor girls....》, is the only thing you can say, while you're watching your husband eat like he was starving. 《No one deserve this kind of fate...》

《Think at the parents 》, he observes, moving his elbows quickly. 《If someone would have done something like that on Jodie, I'd went mad.》

You stop thinking about the case immediately.

《Sorry for the unhappy connection.... but if you are not too tired, we need to speak about our boy.》

Greg looks at you surprised. 《What about him? Bad day?》

《Yes》, you answer, surprising him even more. Bjorn is really talented in sports, unlike his father. 《He played 10 minutes than he had an argument with the coach and spent the rest of the afternoon warming the bench.》

This is unusual. Bjorn is a good lad. Always smiley and obedient at preschool. Teachers love him because he is so good and he knows a lot about science and stuff even if he is four. Mom is an academic, a college professor and daddy is a scientist. How could be different? He is also responsible and he always take serious the baseball trainings. That's the first time he disobey this much.

《What happened y/n? Oh, no. Let me guess.》 You look him cover his own face with a hand. 《He is mad at me, isn't he?》

《Yep babe, he is really mad at you. And at me as well. By now, I think he is mad at the world because you didn't come today.... I explained him that's not your fault, but...》

Greg sighs 《But it is my fault. When he born I swore to God that I'd be a good father even if my job is.... the 70% of my life.》

《But you are》, you say with a stubborn tone in your voice. 《You are a good father. It was just and unfortunate Saturday. He have never missed a game before. You'd be there if it wasn't for the case. 》

《I know but he deserves more than all those 'if' statements. 》 You look at him, feeling the heaviness of this thoughts. 《I should stay in the lab.》 He finally says and you realise a long sigh. This is not going to be an happy conversation, not with your regretting husband weak moment. 《The moment I met you, I knew you were the one. I wanted to start a family before changing job, work on field. It was a stupid decision. If I continued to work as DNA tech we would have more money and more time to spend all togheter.》

《.... I throught we were out with 'if' statements.》

《Y/n, honey-》

《Don't you dare 'honey' me, Greg Sanders.》 You stop him. You keep his hand in yours and smile. 《You are an amazing father. One day, when he will be older and wiser, he will understand. Now is easy to handle the situation. If you spend a day with him, he'll forget about it. Is just a kid, G.》

Greg seems not satisfied. He feels like an idiot, not thing about how mad is son would be noticed his absence. But he also trust your judgement. He always says that you are an amazing mom and even more, the best of wives.

So he smiles back.

《Maybe you are right.》

《Maybe?》, you ask with an ironical tone. He stand up and comes near to you. He offers his hand and you keep it, staning on your feet.

《Sorry Dr Sanders》, he replies, while you are wrapping your arm on his neck. 《You're completely right y/n. I'm already planning an afternoon, just for boys.》

《He'll love it》, you reassure him, before asking for another kiss, with more passion. You both find a good arrangement so you can clean the kitchen and try to sleep at least three hours.

.....or maybe do something more interesting with you husband, who seems to have plans, looking the way he is lifting the t-shirt of your pijama....

You are use to feel Greg absence, that's true.

But when he comes back, well.... that's the moment you realise how much you actually have missed him. And how much you love him and be loved in return.

○Fin○

#greg sanders #greg sanders x reader #greg sanders fanfiction #greg sanders imagine #csi fan #csi fanfiction #csi x reader #csi #csi crime scene investigation #csi fic

[sturchling]

In the heroes day's episode. Did Lila's mom say somthing about a meeting with the embassy and talk about "How useless LB and CH were"?? Wonder how that meeting go??

Here you go! Hope you like it! 

When Heroes Day happened, Lila hadn’t realized what her mother had just said. In Lila’s urgency in keeping her mother from talking to the school, she had caused herself a whole new problem. Mrs. Rossi was very concerned about all of these akumatizations. Especially since most of them were close to her daughter. Lila hadn’t even been able to go to school in several weeks. This Ladybug and Chat Noir seemed pretty incompetent as heroes. Luckily, Mrs. Rossi and her daughter haven’t been put in a position to meet them yet, and Mrs. Rossi hoped they never had to meet. Seeing her daughter quickly close the blinds to hide from whatever is outside made Mrs. Rossi feel even worse. She was determined to do something to help fix this for her daughter. She was going to make Paris a safe place for her. “All these akumatizations are really concerning. I’ll bring it up at our next embassy meeting.” With that, Mrs. Rossi kissed Lila on the head and left for work.

 -------------------

Lila hadn’t registered what her mother had said at the time, but now she was panicked. If her mom looked into this, it would all be over for Lila. But Lila knew there wasn’t an embassy meeting planned for a while. This gave Lila some time to come up with a plan. About a week after Heroes Day, she saw her mom come home from work and Mrs. Rossi said, “Good news Lila. There will be an embassy meeting in four days, and I was given some time to speak at the meeting. I’ll be able to try and come up with a solution for all of these akumatizations that haven’t been resolved. I’ll start working on my presentation right now.” Now Lila was worried. She had to keep her mom from digging too deep. Lila put on her best smile and hoped this worked, “Don’t worry about it mom. I can do it for you. I have a lot of free time now since school is closed, and it would help teach me how to research. You just focus on what you want to say, I will get the facts for you!” Her mother looked thoughtfully at her for a moment, “If you are sure it won’t be any trouble, then I agree. I think it would be a good learning experience for you. But I will look over your work before the meeting. To make sure it is ready to show at the meeting.” “Yes mom! Leave it to me!”

  -------------------

Lila spent the rest of the night working on this stupid presentation. Not like she could foist it off on a classmate. The whole class loves that stupid bug, and they think that Lila and Ladybug are best friends. If they knew that Lila had been badmouthing Ladybug, then it is all over for Lila. She filled the presentation with all the lies she had told her mother. The schools being closed, the akumas left to run free through the city, and the ineptitude of Ladybug and Chat Noir. She made sure to Photoshop some images to make them really moving, but more importantly convincing. Lila eventually sat back and admired her handiwork. She was sure this would fool everyone at that stupid embassy meeting. This would keep her lies safe, for a little while longer at least. Now she just had to hope the rest of the diplomats were as gullible as her mother.

  -------------------

Lila showed the presentation to her mother the next day. Mrs. Rossi was very impressed by her daughter’s work. The presentation was very thorough and covered everything that Lila had told her about, while still being succinct and well organized. Lila had even thought ahead enough to include a works cited page. Mrs. Rossi praised her daughter and told her she was very happy that Lila had helped her with this project. Mrs. Rossi felt confident going into the meeting in three days, with a presentation this nice. For the next few days, Mrs. Rossi practiced what she was going to say, and Lila helped her with that as well. Lila seemed to have developed a love of research, she always volunteered to check the facts for Mrs. Rossi. Mrs. Rossi was very proud of her daughter. Lila’s school opened back up the day before the meeting, Lila saying that Mr. Damocles and the rest of the staff were finally deakumatized by Ladybug. Lila seemed excited to go back to school and see all her friends, and Mrs. Rossi was happy that Lila’s life would have a semblance of normalcy again. Soon it was the day of the meeting and Mrs. Rossi thought she was ready. She had no idea the storm she was about to walk into.

  -------------------

Mrs. Rossi had just finished giving her presentation. She had thought people would jump into action and start suggesting ideas to help. Instead, she was met with stunned and angry silence. The tension in the room was palpable. Just as Mrs. Rossi thought that the silence would last forever, one of her coworkers spoke up, “With all due respect Mrs. Rossi, what on earth are you talking about?” Mrs. Rossi was shocked, what did he mean by that? “Was there something you needed me to clarify from the presentation? I understand it was a lot of information.” The entire room was looking at her like she had grown a second head. From the back of the room, a young woman, spoke up, “Mrs. Rossi, there are no akumas running around. Akuma attacks do happen, but they have never shut a school down. At most, they cause an early dismissal. Typically, Ladybug and Chat Noir have the akuma issue resolved within an hour or two. Why would you insult Paris’ heroes like this?”  Mrs. Rossi was shocked. “What do you mean? My daughter’s school has been shut down for months and her principal has been akumatized for just about as long.” Now Mrs. Rossi was growing frustrated, as she watched some people in the room role their eyes. The first coworker that had said something looks at Mrs. Rossi with a very condescending look on his face, “Your daughter goes to Francoise Dupont right? That school has never been shut down for an extended time because of an akuma. And the principal, Mr. Damocles was deakumatized within a few hours of the akuma alert. Whoever told you otherwise is lying to you. Next time you want to present something, make sure to fact check it. Ladybug and Chat Noir may be incredibly young, but they have been doing an amazing job.” Ladybug and Chat Noir were young? From what Lila had told her, they sounded like lazy adults. Though Mrs. Rossi was beginning to realize that Lila was not a reliable source of information. Mrs. Rossi was incredibly embarrassed as she sat down. The meeting was quickly adjourned after Mrs. Rossi’s embarrassment. Mrs. Rossi went to her desk and began checking everything that Lila had told her. She quickly realized everything that Lila had told her was false. Every source Mrs. Rossi could find said the same thing; that Ladybug was an extremely capable hero and saved the day all the time. And her coworkers were right, these heroes were very young, they looked to be about Lila’s age. Lila had never even told her that she had been akumatized several times. There was no announcement from the school saying they had been closed either. Mrs. Rossi had never been more furious in her life! She couldn’t believe Lila would lie to her like this! And Lila had even lied about school, her daughter had been truant for who knows how long. The lying ends now. Mrs. Rossi took an early lunch and headed to the school, determined to get some answers.

  -------------------

Lila was having a pretty good day. The class was so excited to see her ‘back from Achu’ and were hanging off her every word. It was now free time for the class and she was in the middle of telling the class how, ‘Prince Ali was so happy to hear about my new plans for our go green charities’ when out of no where the door to the class room slammed open. Lila paled as she saw her mother storm into the room. Mrs. Rossi looked FURIOUS and Lila knew this meant trouble. Lila braced herself as her mom got ready to yell, the class still to stunned to question who this strange woman was, “LILA ELIANA ROSSI! How dare you lie to me! I have never been more embarrassed in my life! I just made a fool out of myself in front of everyone at that meeting using your presentation. And now I find out that you lied about the school being closed!? You have been truant for this whole time!? Do you have any idea how much trouble I could be in for this!? You had better explain yourself right now young lady!” The class continued to stare in shock while Lila was panicking. This couldn’t be happening. Her mother was about to ruin everything for Lila. Those stupid people at the embassy just had to reveal Lila to her mother. Lila quickly tried to deescalate the situation and get her mother away from the rest of the class. “Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else?” Mrs. Rossi laughed coldly, “Yes we should, I think the principle should be involved in this conversation. Let’s go young lady.” Mrs. Bustier snaps out of her surprise, “Now wait just a moment ma’am, who are you?” Mrs. Rossi whipped around, “I am Lila’s mother. You are her teacher, right? Mrs. Bustier? You should come with us too; you should be a part of this conversation too.” Mrs. Bustier reluctantly agreed, telling the rest of the class to read chapter 10 from their history books while she was gone. The whole class was just staring at Lila as she descended the steps and left with her mother. The whole time they were walking to the principal’s office, Lila was trying to come up with a way to salvage everything. But Lila’s struggle was futile, she couldn’t think of a way out of this mess.

  -------------------

Lila was right, there wasn’t a way out of this mess. Her mother revealed to both Mr. Damocles and Mrs. Bustier that they had not been in Achu the last few months. She told the pair of educators what Lila had told her about the school being closed. It wasn’t long after that the rest of Lila’s lies had been exposed. All of the different disabilities and ailments she had claimed to have, including the lying disease. Mr. Damocles also revealed how Lila had caused another student to be unjustly expelled. Mrs. Rossi was furious at her daughter for causing so much trouble! After everything was revealed, it was decided that Lila would be expelled because of the truancy and the faking different disabilities. Especially once Mr. Damocles realized that since there is no lying disease, Lila was trying to get Marinette expelled on purpose. Before they left, Lila was made to apologize to the class for her lies, since they had been taking notes and doing homework for her because of her ‘injuries’. The class was furious at Lila for tricking them. Marinette was thankful that Lila had been uncovered before she was able to carry out her threat. She did have to fight Lila as an akuma later that day, but she was perfectly fine with that. Especially when she heard that Mrs. Rossi decided to send Lila to relatives back in Italy to make sure she wouldn’t be akumatized again. Things returned to normal in Mrs. Bustier’s class pretty quickly after Lila left. Marinette was just happy that the liar was out of her life for good, and she had Mrs. Rossi to thank for it.

#ml fic #ml fanfic #ml salt #ml salt fic #ml salt fanfic #ml class #lila rossi #lila salt #lila salt fic #Lila exposed #lila exposed fic #lila gets exposed #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous salt fanfic #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous salt

[hogwartsmarvelmommy]

Fallout of the century 🌑💔

Part 5 

Read part   1   |   2   |   3  |   4   | Here.

Warnings: None this is like pure fluffy goodness. 

Word count: 2.8k

masterlist

This is the end. I hope you enjoyed this, i know i did.

I stood smoothing out the front of the dress in the full length mirror. Nikki was behind me adjusting the strings on the corset. “Is it too tight darling?” she asked me. 

“It's perfect,” I told her, a smile on my face that had not faded at all since I woke up that morning.

 “You look so pretty mummy,” Rosie exclaimed running towards me in her little gold dress. 

“Thank you baby. Can I fix this?” I asked her, gesturing to the back of her dresses that she had sloppily tried to tie up. She nodded and turned around for me to fix it. 

“Grandma, doesn't mummy look pretty?” she asked Nikki. 

“She looks gorgeous, she does,” Nikki said, kissing her on the top of her head, and giving me a smile. 

“We're ready,” my coworker and close friend Lindsey told me. I looked myself over in the mirror once more before heading to the garden. 

We had chosen to have a small ceremony, just our families and our closest friends, which somehow still ended up being sixty plus people. The Hollands had gone out of there way decorating the outside of their house, transforming the garden into a fairy tale like scene, it looked straight out of a movie. 

I watched as the bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way down the aisle. I looked up to see Tuwaine waiting for me, his arm ready to take mine as he led me down the aisle to the man I was about to marry. 

“Thank you for doing this,” I whispered. 

“Are you kidding? I am honored,” and with that we began to walk to the slightly crowded garden. 

As soon as I stepped out of the door, my eyes met his. He stood tall, his hair freshly cut, but still curly on top of his head. The sun was shining just right, making his hair shine an even more vibrant hue of red than usual. He looked stunning in the black suite that he wore with the pop of a gold tie. He smiled at me, a smile I had seen so many times before, but it felt as though I was seeing it for the first time ever. The closer I got the more his features came into focus, his warm brown eyes held a shimmer of gold and his freckles that were scattered on his face seemed to make him look even more handsome. I glanced at his birthmark on the corner of his mouth that I had fallen in love with. I stopped about four feet away from him, My heart nearly stopping as I saw him, having to catch his breath as he looked me over. 

He stepped forward grabbing my hand as I joined him on the little step the boys had built for today. 

With my hand in his we stood side by side as Sam stood in front of us ready to officiate the special day. 

“Hi,” Sam spoke, grabbing his little leather notebook from his pocket. “I'm a little nervous, so bare with me,” He mumbled. He glanced up to me and I gave him a comforting smile. 

“Are you ready for this? Mrs.Holland?” Harry whispered in my ear while his twin scrambled to start the ceremony.

“As ready as I was the first time Mr.Holland,” I whispered back Squeezing his hand tightly.

“OK, We have gathered her today, well i mean i think  we all know why we're here, am i right?” he asked lightheartedly.

There was a wave of laughs from behind where Harry and I stood and I could instantly see Sam relax. 

“So when my brother and y/n asked me to do this, I was excited, until I started looking into it. Way too much effort, but regardless I did all that I had to, to make sure at the end of the day these to actually get married,” he winked at me, knowing something all the others didn't, before continuing. “Harry and Y/N are the kind of people who just clicked upon meeting, everything between them happened nearly effortlessly, and though there was a time when we were not sure we'd see this day, i think i speak for everyone when i say, i'm glad it's finally here,” Sam looked over to Tom who reached into his pocket, grabbing a folded up paper and handed it to Harry. “I'm going to let them share their vows, and then we will get to it,” Sam stepped back as Harry turned to face me. He unfolded the paper in his hand and looked up to my face, giving me one last smile. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, I’m standing here today, in front of you not knowing what tomorrow holds, not knowing where we will end up in the years to come, but knowing whatever and wherever it is, i want to be by your side.” he took a deep breath as he crumpled the page and shoved it into his pocket, flashing me his boyish smile. “I've always known this day would come, nothing we ever went through made me think otherwise. In the end it would always be us, I'm just glad it was sooner than later, I'll love you everyday for the rest of my life, the good and bad days. And I can't wait forever with you,” He grabbed my hands, lifting one to his mouth and kissing it. I turned to look at Harrison who was standing directly behind me. He handed me the note cards and I turned back to Harry.

“Harry Robert Holland, where to begin? I feel Like I've loved you all my life. I've known we were made for each other since that day in the pub when you bought me a drink. I've always admired you, the love you give, the care you offer, the way you are with Rosie. I'm not entirely sure how I became so lucky to have you in my life, but here we are. Today, tomorrow, forever.”  I turned back to Harrison giving him back the cards and then nodding at Sam, who quickly stepped back up. 

“Alright, are you guys ready for this?” He asked us. We both nodded. “OK, Harry, are you ready to spend the rest of your days with Y/N?” 

“I am,” Harry responded.

“And are you ready to spend the rest of your days putting up with my brother?” Harry swatted at Sam who jumped back laughing.

“Every day of my life,” I said, squeezing Harry's other hand. 

“OK, then by the power vested in me, by a sketchy website I found on the internet, I now pronounce you married. You can kiss now.” And neither of us needed to be told twice. Harry pulled me into his arms, pushing our lips together in a deep passionate kiss. There were cheers from behind us that the intensity of the kiss drowned out. It was like no one was there, nothing mastered, except for us, and this moment. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We sat at the table, enjoying watching everyone have a good time when Harrison stood up and started to clink his spoon to his glass. 

“I'd like everyone's attention,” He started smiling at Harry and I “As the Man of Honor, I have prepared a rather lengthy and emotional speech. So, sit down and get the tissues ready,” there was a rumbling of laughter from everyone as he pulled out some note cards. “So, about ten years ago. A girl met a boy in a pub, and slowly they fell in love. The kind of love that changes you, and teaches you. The kind of love that is hard, and dirty, and not always beautiful. These two kids met at the young age of 18, never experiencing life before, and decided then and there, to experience it together. And it was a journey. These two, they absolutely destroyed each other,” Harrison glanced at us, to see us both shocked at his speech. “But it was a necessary destruction. There were mistakes made, secrets kept, and lives that had not been lived. They spent a total of two and half years apart before finding their way back to each other. Y/N traveled for a year, tending to the less fortunate, and living out a lifelong dream. While Harry became a dad to little Rosie Holland, and became one of the best men i have ever met. These two went through the fallout of the century, just to become even stronger in the end. I am blessed to be a part of their story. To have been there from the beginning, and seeing it through to, not the end, but the newest chapter. I love you both, and I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness, Y/N (peanut) Holland, and Harry Holland, congratulations.” The crowd erupted in cheers and applause as Harrison raised his glass before downing his glass of champagne. There was barely any time before Tom stood up, clinking his knife to his glass.

 “I did not prepare a long emotional speech, but I do have a few things to say,” He patted Harry on the shoulder before pulling out a page, with a speech obviously written on it, causing me to erupt in a fit of laughter. “Okay, okay. Settle down everyone. I met y/n about a month before Harry. Sorry buddy,” He winked at his brother, who just groaned and shook his head. “And I knew there was something about her, and looking back, I realized how much she reminded me of my younger brother here. So it was no surprise when I started seeing her more, on my brother's arm out at the pubs. Which soon became family dinners, and game nights, and soon she became a part of our group, even went as far to steal my best friend Harrison from me, Not cool nutty, not cool. But things seemed to go so easily, and then after they broke up, it felt like a piece of our group chipped away, neither of them made any of us choose sides, but with such an ugly break up it became a little ugly. So when I tell you how relieved I was when these two got back together, I'm not exaggerating. I'm so glad to call you my sister, and I'm so glad for my brother to call you his wife. You two were made for each other, and I love you both.” The crowd started to cheer again at the close of Tom's speech, and it was time for Harry and I to speak.

Harry stood up and lifted his arms for everyone to be quiet. “I want to thank you all for coming today, um it is true, that this day has been a long time coming and the journey here was a long one. But it was worth every sleepless night, every fight, every little thing it took to get here, it was all worth it. I've known since the day I met this girl, I wanted to be her husband, and despite everything, that never changed. We were kids when we met, and we quickly became young and dumb in love, not realizing what forever meant, and now sitting here today, i wouldn't change a thing, because at the end of the day, i still got to marry her, no matter what stupid things i may have done, or not done. I love you so much, Peanut, and I'll never stop loving you, as long as I live.” I stood up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss, in front of all our friends and families. 

I let go of him and gave him a smile before turning to everyone in front of us, “I, um, we have a confession to make,” I looked to Harry who nodded, looking at me in awe. “We did not get married today, this was all a show that we put on, for us and for you,” There was a wave of gasps and ‘whats?’ from everyone. “I know, I know. I do have a very good explanation though,” I took a deep breath before continuing, “So as many of you know, or all of you, Harry has a little girl, Little Rosie. She's the sweetest little peanut I've ever laid my eyes on, and I've known her since the day she was born, and for the past three years, I have stepped up and into the role of her mom, since the biological one walked away and sighed her away. I have been there for every little thing since then, making sure she knew that she had me forever. I have kissed every boo boo, mended every broken heart over the silly things her five year old self gets upset over, and I have become so much more than just her dad's girlfriend. She knows that I didn't give birth to her, and she knows that she does have a mom out there somewhere, we have never hid that from her, and about seven months ago she had asked if I would be her mom. Which was an emotional thing for me, I was wrecked, like a blubbering, sobbing, snotty mess. So Harry and I started to talk about me potentially adopting her, and there were a few hoops we had to jump through before being able to do it. One of which was to be married. So about five and a half months ago we went to the court house and got married, and then started the adoption process. Which is also what influenced us to buy the house. So we have been married for almost six months.” I looked around at all the shocked faces, some seemed to be more accepting of the news than others. I had known that this was probably going to be the reaction to this news, so I wasn't surprised. 

“You look nervous,” Harry said as we stood in the hallway of the courthouse. 

“What if they don’t think I'm good enough to be her mom?” I blurted out, causing Harry to smile at me.

“Lovie, i don't care what the court says, you are Rosie’s mom, More so than Olivia ever was. You stepped up after Olivia left, before we had even considered getting back together, you taught me how to do her hair, and how to make her favorite foods, you babysat her countless times while I was at work late or had to run errands, with no expectation. Just because you loved her enough to be there, for her, for us.” he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my nose as the courtroom door opened. 

“Case of Rosie Holland,” The man said. You stood straight up adjusting your skirt looking at Harry.

“Lets go get your name on that birth certificate, yeah?” He whispered as he led me into the room.

“We're sorry for misleading any of you,” Harry said, squeezing my side. “But we still wanted the ceremony, despite us already being married, and we wanted all of you here for the announcement,” He stopped and looked at me, raising his brows waiting for me to speak. 

“As of three weeks ago, I am Officially Rosie Holland's mom,” I grabbed the amended birth certificate that had my name in the space where it said mother and handed it to Tom to hand to his mother. 

“Well i think we could cheers to that,” Harrison announced “Let's get the bride and new mom a glass of champagne,” 

“That's actually not the end of the announcement,” Harry spoke up. Causing everyone to grow quiet again. Harry reached over, placing one hand on your belly before continuing. “We thought Rosie could use a sibling.” There was an almost in sync gasp from everyone around us before the cheering began again. “Little Stanley Holland will be here in about six months,” I watched Tom as Harry said that, his eyes grew wide before glossing over.

“Really?” He choked out.

“Really, really,” I told him.

The night went on, everyone partied and enjoyed the food, ushering the two of you off at the end of the night to your honeymoon. we arrived home grabbing your pre-packed bags and heading for the airport to board your flight. The flight itself was fine, and by the time we landed in Hawaii I had been asleep most of the flight.

“Lovie, we're here,” Harry whispered, bringing me out of my sleep, it seemed with life growing inside my belly all i ever wanted to do was eat and sleep. 

“I'm hungry,” I groaned as I got up from the seat. He led me from the plane and into the airport.

“What do you want to eat?” He asked me.

I stared at him for a minute before answering “A peanut butter sandwich,” 

“Of course you do,” He laughed rubbing my barely swollen belly.

#harry holland #harrison osterfield #tom holland #harry holland fluff #Q

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

The Answer

Requested by: anonymous (“Congrats on reaching over 2.5k followers! I was wondering if I could request something with Joe trying to talk the reader out of doing something stupid, but in a funny way?”)

Summary: When Valentine’s Day turns unexpectedly stressful, your favorite coworker Joe Mazzello is there to offer moral support. I may have gotten a little carried away with this one, but it’s all in the spirit of the holiday! 😂 I hope you enjoy it. 💗

Warnings: Language. 

Word Count: 2.2k. 

You can find all my writing here!

Oh my god, this man is about to ask me to marry him.

You are suddenly aware of every immaterial detail, because this is the sort of night you’re supposed to remember forever. This is the sort of night, the sort of story, you’ll be retelling all your life: to parents, to friends, to overly-chatty hairstylists, to coworkers, to children, to grandchildren. The music is slow, sophisticated, French. The dress you’re wearing is lavender and just a stitch too tight in the ribs. The tablecloth is white, the flowers in the centerpiece ruby-red roses. The candlelight bathes Ryan’s face in hot, flickering gold. And he’s smiling, broadly, artfully, like he knows something you don’t. Like maybe he always will.

You’re trying to follow what he’s talking about, but you can’t. It’s some meandering summation of your last two years together: meeting at your mutual friend Sarah’s New Year’s Eve party, numbers tapped into each other’s iPhones, sushi and green tea, browsing through book stores, murky movie theaters and hands entwining on shared armrests, Fourth of July picnics where you socialized gamely with one another’s extended families, kisses that started out light and fleeting in the chilly lobbies of restaurants like this one and turned into hours spent in the rustling shadows of your bedroom. And although the details sometimes evade you, the arc of Ryan’s story is clear: that the journey was perfectly linear, every piece in place, every want and ritual accounted for. That the time has come for the inevitable conclusion.

He reaches across the table to take your hands in his. The last of your beef bourguignon lays unclaimed and forgotten in its bowl. Your appetite has vanished entirely.

“Pierre,” Ryan tells the moustached waiter, grinning triumphantly. “Could you bring out dessert now, please?”

You hear your chair squeal as you bolt to your feet. Your ankles wobble as you balance on your strappy, rather painful silver heels, the ones Ryan likes so much. “I’ll be right back,” you announce. You flash him a reassuring, innocent smile. You gesture apologetically to the wine and water glasses, like it’s all their fault. The perfect fall guys. How dare they interrupt this magical evening.

Ryan suspects nothing. Or—worse, far far worse—he doesn’t care. “Sure, baby. Take your time.”

You zigzag, rather unsteadily, around the restaurant tables—all those other nameless candle-lit couples reminiscing and giggling and feeding each other spoonfuls of quivering chocolate mousse—and crash through the restroom door. There are two college-aged girls touching up their makeup, stark and bone-white under the florescent lights, and they peer quizzically over at you. You take shelter in the nearest stall and lock the door.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” You stare at the wall, waiting for a sign. There’s an artsy black-and-white picture of the Eiffel Tower hanging there. Another trivial detail to one day tell your grandchildren about. “Oh my god,” you moan again.

You root through your purse, pull out your iPhone, and find Joe Mazzello in your contacts. You’ve never called him before; you have his number solely in case of work-related emergencies. But your fingers are moving swiftly, almost autonomically; and time is rolling irrevocably forward like a freight train.

“This is clearly a pocket dial,” Joe says as soon as he answers. “There’s no way you’re thinking about me and my subpar sandwich-making abilities on Valentine’s Day.” He’s right about his sandwich skills; they’re honestly abysmal. He’s the worst employee at Quiznos. He always spills the honey mustard everywhere. You, on the other hand, take great pride in your consistently neat, uniform application of condiments. But, nevertheless, Joe is your favorite coworker. Your favorite coworker by a margin that ships could sail through like a drawbridge.

“Help,” you croak.

“Uh...?” Joe’s voice changes. He’s not exactly serious yet—you’re not really sure what a serious Joe Mazzello would even sound like—but he’s definitely apprehensive. “Are you locked in a trunk somewhere...?”

“Wait, no, sorry. I’m not being kidnapped. I’m at L’amour Vrai.”

“Oh, nice!” But he doesn’t sound that thrilled about it. “With Ryan, I’m assuming.”

“Yeah, therein lies the problem.”

Joe is confounded. “...Did he forget to bring you a massive teddy bear and a heart-shaped box of Ferrero Rocher, or...?”

“I think he’s going to ask me to marry him,” you say in a rush, breathlessly. “He’s been rambling about our relationship and being weird and sentimental all through dinner and I think dessert is going to be, like, a giant bowl of chocolate mousse with a ring hidden in the bottom or something and now I’m hiding in the bathroom.”

“And you don’t even like chocolate mousse,” Joe notes.

“That’s not really the point, but yeah, true.”

“So what are you going to do?”

You don’t have an answer. You don’t even have threads of thoughts that could be woven into words. Because no matter how seamless and fated Ryan’s story of your relationship sounds, you feel that something is missing. You’ve always felt that way. And you’ve waited—patiently, undemandingly, faithfully—for that one last piece of surety to drop out of the sky and click into place for the past seven-hundred and forty-four days. You’ve waited for indelible magnetism, for that sensation of free-falling, for love; you’ve waited until you started to suspect those things didn’t exist at all except in fiction. But sometimes, just recently, you think you might be catching glimpses of them: in how Joe sends you a clandestine smirk when a customer is agonizing over whether they want cheddar or swiss, in how he invents new combinations of fountain drinks for you to taste and rank on a highly scientific ten-point scale (Cherry Coke-Dr. Pepper is the current champion at 8.5/10), in how he complains incessantly about having to close but will wipe down the same counter fifteen times while you count the money in the register so you don’t have to lock up alone. And those transitory glimpses are enough to show you exactly what a lifetime with Ryan would mean living without.

“You don’t want to say yes,” Joe realizes quietly. “You wouldn’t be freaking out and hyperventilating in the bathroom if you did.”

“I don’t think I can say no.”

Joe snorts. “Lady, this isn’t the sixteenth century. You’re not being traded to this guy for some cows or a military alliance or a duchy in Germany. You can always say no.”

“But we’re in the middle of this fancy restaurant and he’s got the staff in on it, and everyone is going to stare when he asks me, they’ll probably start clapping and making TikToks and I’m going to look like a total bitch if I don’t say yes.”

“Well, yeah,” Joe says, a little darkly. “That was probably the plan. To put you in a position where you felt like you didn’t have a choice.” And you recall that Joe doesn’t seem to like Ryan very much, hasn’t said a single nice thing about him in the six months that have passed since Joe joined the illustrious Quiznos team.

“Maybe I should say yes and then after tonight never speak to him again.”

“You’re...gonna ghost your fiancé? You legitimately think that’s a better plan?”

“Maybe.”

“It’s only going to get harder to back out as this thing picks up momentum. The families will get involved. There will be dress fittings, venue shopping, cake tasting...oh, wait, actually, don’t back out until after the cake tasting. And invite me.”

“I could fake my own death. Or enlist in the Peace Corps. I’ve always wanted to see Mongolia.”

“But then you’d have to give up your promising career in sandwich making.”

“They might have Quiznos in Mongolia.” You sigh, defeated. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you with this. I’m definitely ruining your Valentine’s Day.”

“There’s not much to ruin, honestly. I’m re-watching Tiger King and eating my weight in Skittles.”

Oh, right; Joe and his girlfriend Julie broke up last week. And come to think of it, despite the fact that you don’t have any identifiable reason to feel this way, you’ve never really liked Julie either. “I’ll gladly trade you.”

“I mean, sure, I fucking love chocolate mousse. My apartment is only three blocks away. I can hurry over there and put on your dress and heels and earrings or whatever you’re wearing, but I feel like Ryan might catch on.”

You laugh, your first real, involuntary, jolting laugh of the day. “Genius. Let’s do it.”

“You can say no,” Joe tells you, seriously now. This, as it turns out, is what a serious Joe Mazzello sounds like: warm, concerned, measured, his typically frenetic energy temporarily wrangled. “If he asks you to marry him and you want to say no, you can say no.”

“Okay,” you reply, taking a deep breath, resolved.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll say no.”

“Cool.” Joe sounds pleased; proud, even.

“Alright. I’m gonna go. Thanks, Joe. Seriously. Thank you so much.”

“No problem. You can mop up my next honey mustard spill as a show of gratitude.”

“Deal,” you say with a smile, and then you hang up.

Waiting for you back at the table is the moustached waiter cheerfully playing a violin, Ryan’s luminous grin, and a glass chalice full of chocolate mousse. Jesus christ. Chocolate fucking mousse.

Ryan motions for you to take a bite. You obediently sit down, pick up your spoon with a quaking hand, dip it into the center of the chocolate mousse...and lift out a diamond ring. You unleash a gasp of horror that Ryan mistakes for—or, perhaps, is determined to believe is—elation.

Ryan plucks the ring off your spoon, wipes it clean with a red cloth napkin, and slips out of his chair to kneel at your feet. Blood is pounding frantically in your ears. Your courage has evaporated. Your legs feel numb, jellylike, boneless. How the hell are you going to walk out of here after you say no? How the hell are you going to say no at all?

Ryan is reciting some generic, Hallmark-card speech. The other restaurant patrons are beaming, clapping, already assuming your answer. Ryan asks you the question. Your trembling hand is now resting at the base of your flushed throat like a noose. Your words are ghosts.

“I...” you sputter. “I...um...”

“Go ahead,” Ryan says, nodding, smooth and undaunted. And suddenly you know that Joe was right; every single part of this was planned. Ryan turns to the crowd. “Aw, folks, give her a hand, she’s shy!”

And as they cheer and whistle encouragingly, as Ryan waits for your acquiescence, as your hope for those things you’ve only caught glimpses of begins to wither like autumn leaves, someone steps between you and Ryan and fills up the hollow, hungry space left by your silence. It’s Joe.

“No no no,” he tells Ryan. His voice is ostensibly matter-of-fact and yet formidable. “She’s not shy. She’s just trying to figure out her answer. And she doesn’t need some random strangers in a French restaurant to help her out with that.” Joe looks at you and raises his eyebrows. “Go ahead. Whenever you’re ready.”

“What the...?!” Ryan exclaims, his eyes shifting from you to Joe. The other patrons are extremely bewildered. The waiter’s violin playing screeches to a halt.

“No,” you say, your courage flooding back in, a slow smile igniting across your face.

Ryan doesn’t understand. “No...?”

“No. My answer is no. The past two years have been nice, but this is over now. I’m not right for you, Ryan. You’re not right for me either. And I think you know that. So goodbye.”

You stand, sling your purse over your shoulder, and follow Joe out of L’amour Vrai; but not before you yank off your silver high heels and leave them there on the restaurant floor. The other guests are in scandalized uproar now. Ryan is still kneeling, furious and in shock. Outside it is bitingly cold and your breath turns to fog in the night air; the chilly concrete sidewalk soothes the aching soles of your feet.

Joe is ecstatic, his eyes gleaming under the streetlights as you walk together. “That was incredible! Did you see his face?! He totally thought he was going to be able to bully you into saying yes and you were not having it, you are a beast my dear, I hope some of those people put you on TikTok, I hope you get TikTok famous for being freaking awesome, then you can get rich and buy a mansion and let me live in the pool house and I’ll never have to work or suffer another honey-mustard-related catastrophe again—”

“Joe.” You stop him abruptly, resting a palm against his chest, gazing up at him beneath the cold stars. And after a moment he understands, and he kisses you. You catch more than a glimpse of those beautiful things you’d feared might not exist. They light up like the goddamn Eiffel Tower.

“I’ve wanted that for six months,” Joe says as he pulls away, softly, shakily, smiling almost shyly.

“Yeah,” you reply. “I think I have too.”

Joe takes your face in his hands and kisses you again. He tastes like heat and harmony and laughter and Skittles; but more than all of that, he tastes like love.

#sleepover event! #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzelo x reader