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#like negative interaction time. sadly

am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

Note

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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justwonder113 · 2 months

Text

Showering Seungmin with affection

Bang Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; IN;

Part 2 Here

Summary: Everything between you and Seungmin was a competition and to win and make him shut up you were even willing to kiss him sensless Warning: Gender neutral reader but if I missed anything please let me know; Bold reader; mentions of consumption of alcohol; Both reader and Seungmin are little bit tipsy; some cursing because I'm cute like that; reader feeling a bit claustrophobic at the beginning. Seungmin being hit on by a drunk girl; unclear feelings; Both reader and Seungmin are brats and really chaotic to put it simply; Bit graphic descriptions of possible scenarios. Making out in the middle of nowhere; Slightly suggestive; Please notify me if I missed something. A/N- I really hope you will like it, It's not really enemies to lovers but It's the first time I've written something inspired by the dynamic. I'm really curious on anything you have to say so please feel free to interact Word count-4.7k

You loved your friends, you really did, but sometimes you just couldn't understand them. It was beyond your imagination why they chose to go to a bar on your first day of vocation, as the first thing to do here. There were so many things to do!

Lately you've been really swarmed with work and it really took it's toll on you, so as a way to unwinde you and your friends alligned your schedules together and decided to go to a winter resort. You arrived just today, and you already fell in love. It was the type of place you see in tvshows and movied. It was a place straight out of fairytail. You were simply mesmerized by this place and you wanted nothing more than to explore every part of it, to get aquitanced with this majestic place, but, unfortunately for you, convincing your friends to go with you was more challenging than you could think it would be. They kept insisting that they were too tired from the road and just wanted to relax and drink today. It kind of bummed you out when no one out of so many people shared the same idea as you. You pondered over the idea to go exploring by yourself, but you also didn't really feel like roaming unknown places in the middle of the night all alone.

Okay, to be fair, Seungmin vouched for you and said it was a good idea to go. But it was Seungmin! Everyone and their mama knew that you two didn't get along with each other. You had conflicated feelings about him, you were by any means no friends but you respected him, but you also really hated how narcissistic, snobbish and so rude! He was like the human boquet of the quialities you disliked in a person. You knew he's an unique character from the start, you were even intrigued by it for a while, you only started hating him when he something Snarky and rude to your best friend. YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND! Of course it was eons ago and your best friend was way past over this and now was friends with him, but still. Your friend also explained that he was just like that and didn't mean half of the things he said. That you would just get him if you gave it time and effort but here you were. He failed in your eyes once and there was no going back. Sometimes you pondered of you should let go of the negative feelings, after all he was in your friend group and people were getting tired of your constant bickering. Truth be told, you thought that it was a huge progress from your side that you were now more benevolent and maybe even more friendly towards him. At least you could be in a room with him and parttake in conversations that involved him. By all means you were not friends, you had this weird rivalry between you. You didn't even know when it started but now everything was just competitions between you. And you took great pride whenever you beat him. You just loved rubbing your victories in his face and teasing him about it, but sadly, when you lost he always returned the energy sometimes even ten times more just to piss you off. He was just a huge brat! And to think that only Kim fucking Seungmin was on same wavelength as you.

You took another shot as if on reflex. You wouldn't lie, you enjoyed yourself. Hanging out with your friends was always a pleasure, you had comfortable and had fun with extended friend group it was nice to meet up together after a while ,but you couldn't help but feel restless. Also alcohol didn't hit right today, you were worst kind of drunk, your mind was fully alert while your body felt like it was slowed down and didn't fully listen to you. You tried to engage in conversations but most seemed like they were already out of it, some of them were dancing without a care in the life, you saw few of them chatting up with people. You sighed this wasn't how you imagined your first day of vocation. The main reason you felt overjoyed to go here was that you were tired of being surrounded by four walls constantly and that's what you were doing now, you were stuck in this stuffy place. You didn't want to be a buzzkill but you were getting really restless here. It felt so staffy and full that you felt like you couldn't breathe properly. So after a few you just excused yourself grabbed your coat and went outside.

The cold air caressing your skin immediately soothed your senses, you felt like you could finally breathe again. You looked around the streets were mostly empty, it was way past midnight after all, everyone was probably at home. The streets were lit by vintage looking streetlights which eluminated soft yellowish glow. The streeets were covered with thick layer of fresh snow which crunched with every step you took. What you loved the most other than calmness of this small old city was that how beautiful it looked in the night. The scenery looked like one from the old french drawings you see in antique stores. Also it just simply amazeed you how mesmerizing it was to watch it snow on lampion lights. The snowflakes looked extra beautiful on the light. You were really glad you decided to go here.

The sound of the familliar voice made you groan in distaste. Couldn't let you be at peace for a minute huh? You turned around to scold jim for ruining your perfect picture but the sight had you let's just say rendered speechless. He wasn't alone, he was with some girl who was literally hanging on his arm for dear life? Was she flirting with him? She was really beautiful and stunning, but why did he look so awkward? You scoffed, sure he was really handsome and pretty too but really? Him? Or has he not opened his mouth yet?... You didn't like it.

You prepared yourself to leave this perfect place and go inside when you heard Seungmin say that he wasn't interested and ask to respect his boundaries. You were going to ignore it and just mind your business, you just didn't like how this girl kept pushing despite him declining her offers. Honestly what happened to taking no as an answer? This was just plain disrespectful.

You groaned out and approached them while cursing at yourself. Couldn't you just mind your business? "Baby there you are! I was just going to call you! Do you see how prettily it is snowing? Lets' take some pictures!" You tried to sound as sweet as possible while trying not to die from cringing too hard at yourself. Seungmin's eyes almost went up to his forehead. What a dumbass- you thought as you stood next to him and hugged his armn. "Who's this?" You acted all confused, honestly, you felt like you deserved an oscar. Seungmin atammered for an answer while the girl pouted ar you. She definerly had too much to drink. Where were her friends? Why was she alone?

"You're together?" She looked dishartened, what a poor thing.

"Yes, I tried to explain but you wouldn't listen." Seungmin sighed. The girl pouted, looking offended suddenly she started huffing-" There's no way you're toghether!" Oh she was getting annoying now, you glared at her, how dare she doubt you "I beg your pardon?"

"I've been here with my friends all evening, you two didn't even talk not even once, how would that make you a couple?" So she's been stalking Seungmin all evening, kind of creepy. You were really hating whis whole interaction so damn much!

"Okay I will prove it to you then no problem." You turned to Seungmin who looked confused, unaware of what you were planning to to. You couldn't blame him you also had no idea what the fuck came to you. He looked at you for a second but then gave you a nod, giving you a green light to do whatever you deemed nescessary. You iternally thanked yourself for taking all those shots earlier, there was no way you could do this sober. You grabbed Seungmin by his collar brought him to you and smashed your lips against his. Seungmin immediately leaned into the kiss and kissed you back. Suddenly you were surrounded by him, his soft lips, his warmth, his hands around your waist which felt so hot you felt them through your coat, the intoxicating smell of his perfume. Never woud you have imagined that you would love kissing the Kim Seungmin this much. You mentally counted up till five and then leaned back, already missing the touch. The girl sighed in defeat and left you. This had to be one of the weirdest interactions you've ever had. Well it was another win on your side so you didn't really care.

You quickly let go of Seungmin once you made sure the girl left you two. You had to get out of here so you started walking towards random direction, you had to be anywhere but with him. What the fuck had come onto you? How could you kiss him like that? You don't kiss people you're supposed to hate! It was so embarassing, you wanted the ground to swallow you whole, there's no way you could look him in the eyes after this.

You knew he followed after you by the sound of hurried footsteps and crunching snow, not as satisfying sounding when you're running from your problems, or one big problem called Kim Seungmin.

"Thank you for helping me our there, it was getting really awkward." He said it as if you just casually get him out of the situaation. How was he so calm? Was he even human? Did he even feel even ounce of human emotions, except maybe the need to be annoying all the time. You took a deep breath, there's no way you would show it to him how much this affected you. "Didn't know you had thank you in your vocabulary, the more you know huh?" He scoffed,"don't be a brat." you couldn't help but chuckle, "there you go being your charming old self. seungmin grinned. Oh no. " So you think I'm charming?"He looked at you with "Innocent" smile which made you groan, he sure had a talent for being annoying. "Goodbye." You were not in mood for his teasing. You were somewhere in this city might as well explore it. You thought that Seungmin listened to you for once and left you but no, he had to start yelling in the middle of the night while everyone normal slept "You're the one who kissed me but now you're the one running away?" God sure blessed him to be the most infuriating little creature that ever excisted.

"First of all don't be loud it's middle of the night and people might be sleeping, also I'm not running away, I just don't like to be with you. I'm already starting to regret that I helped you, I should've just minded my business." Seungmin looked unamused.

"But you didn't. You stayed and helped me. You even went as far and kissed me!"

"You're really annoying do you know that?" He smirked and you instantly regretted not ignoring him, so what if he woke half the people here? You didn't know anyone here. Seungmin got closer to you. "While are you backing down and trying to run away from me? Is it that you're flustered baby?" He emphasised the word baby, mimicking the sweet tone you used earlier. The audacity of this fucker! You wanted to just punch him in the nose. You rolled your eyes, dissmissing him entierly. "Please, like you could fluster me." You continiued walking away from him, you wouldn't give him satisfaction to poke fun at you. You didn't hear any steps maybe luck did exist and he left you. You heard a step, a yelp and a loud thud.

Turning around you were greeted with the image of Seungmin laying flat on the ground. You quickly rushed to him, yes the roads were slippery but how did his ass manage to slip this bad to fall flat on the ground? He looked up to the sky with poker face, no sign of pain no nothing, his face completely unreadable? Is it possible to die just from a simple fall? "Seungmin are you okay?" No answer, You shook his shoulders, "Min?" He looked at you for a second, when slowly and dramatically lifted his hands to cover his face. What the hell? " Min? Did you hit your head? Are you hurt? What the fuck are you doing?" Still no answer, it only hit you that he was just embarrased when you noticed how red his neck and ears were. You couldn't help but laugh, and he immediately answered with a groan. "Are you embarassed?" Another groan which made you laugh harder also following by an unimpressed grunt. "Sorry, sorry, it's just ironic, you were the one talking about flustering me and stuff, now you can't even look me in the eyes." He could be cute after all.

"I want to die." Seungmin groaned out after a while, you were hysterical at this point.

You tried to get him get up or at least to remove his hands from his face but to no awail. "Oh stop being difficult, what do you want to get up? You will catch a cold dipshit." What bug did bite you today, why were you kind to him? It really was beyond you.

"I want a kiss on the lips." Oh so he could talk now, you scoffed and got up.

"Nevermind I hope you get pneoumonia! You either get up or I'm leaving you here!" He peaked at you through his fingers, you tried not to crack and not to smile, he looked so silly. He shook his head and covered his eyes again. Wow what a serious adult.

"No you won't you're too kind for your own good." This fucking! You hated how he was right. You really should just leave him here, that's what he's asking for!

After not hearing anything from you, Seungmin took his hands of his faces, to check if you in fact leave him here, he looked baffled when he noticed that instead of leaving him you laid next to him looking at the sky with unreadable face. "What are you doing? The fact about Kim Seungmin was that he was always calm and collected no matter the situation and to think he showed so many emotions today.

"If poeple were to look at you they would think that you're crazy or some drunk asshole, Someome might call cops on you or an ambulance and that's such a headache. If I lay here people most likely will ignore us because we're plain crazy or drunk, I think I am still tipsy." Honestly you were more or less sober now, who wouldn't be after laying on snow? He better pray you don't get sick, or him because you would most certainly beat his ass.

Seungmin looked at you for a second, you could feel his gaze even though you weren't looking at him he turned his head towards the sky after a while though. "Or they might think someone ran us over with a car, someone more creative might even think we were shot, although there's not blood." You couldn't help but huff out a laugh. He seemed more talkative now, even though the subject of conversation was quite unique. You somehow prefered it this way.

"Depends on where we were shot, also we should consider the sound effect. By the way it's snowing the blood might get covered soon. Car theory is also silly, the road is too narrow."

"Hm, you're right." You felt the urge to tease him for finally admitting for once that you were right but you didn't want to disrupt the peaceful moment. The silence was comforting. "It's really pretty, looking up at the snow."

"It is." It really was, in fact it was one of the most majestic sights you've ever witnessed. Streetlights were making it even more beautiful, it was like you could see every snowflake clearly.

You laid for a while enjoying the sight, the sliense, the comfort being with him brought. It felt good to just exist and simply enjoy a simple moment. You didn't even realize when your hands moved towards each other and started holding onto each other so tightly. What baffled you more was why didn't hate the feeling. Mere couple of hours ago you would've simply laughed at the idea of you holding hands with Seungmin. You wondered what shifted inside you.

"I think it's safe to say you do care about me." Of course he had to ruin the moment. Groaning in disdain you straightened up, his hold on your hand immediately tightened, one might even think he was afraid you would let go. He looked at you with the mischevious smile which unforunately tugged quite hard on your heartstrings, you obviously ignored it. "Says the one who literally fell for me." You couldn't help but quip back. He huffed dissaprovingly, his cheeks puffing up so cutely in the meantime you just waned to poke it. "I didn't fall for you!" He protested, you just rolled your eyes, "okay okay, you fell down while chasing after me." He looked uniimpressed. "I only did that because you kept running away god knows where! Do you even know where we are?" It was infuriating how he always pointed out right thing, but you didn't care. Backing down wasn't an option, this was a matter of pride." Do you?" 5 year old kid comeback but hey as long as it worked. Seungmin averted his eyes, he also had no idea. "Damn Seungmin, I didn't know you were so dedicated to me that you would go literally god knows where for me." He scoffed and crossed his hands. "You know what? Nevermind, I hope something finds you and eats you up." Satisfied that you were getting under his skin you grinned. "Oo Kinky."

"I hate you."

"As it turns out my dear Sungsung you don't."

"Okay I don't." You didn't like how his answer made you feel giddy.

"So you do have a heart! I'm impressed." You were not going to lie, you enjoyed this fucked up weird dynamic you two had.

"Yeah, can't seem to get rid of it, it's vital or whatever," he even made a point to dramatically roll his eyes as if he was annoyed at his heart.

"Tell me about it."

It was silent for a second or two but of course Seungmin had to break it. "What about you?" You looked at him expectantly, unsure on what he was getting at, Seungmin sighed as if dissapointed you didn't know what he meant. "Do you hate me?" He really loved asking those tough questions huh.

"Are you curious now?" What were you supposed to say, you knew you didn't hate him but you couldn't also name what you felt towards him.

"I am." He looked at you with wide eyes and you gulped in awe, it was first time you saw so many emotions reflect in his eyes, you had to tell him the truth or it would be ruthless.

"I don't hate you..." You paused hoping he caught the hint that you wouldn't be able to provide him with better answer for now. He smiled at you and shook his head.

"What a sap." Oh this little asshole!

"Oh shut up, you're literally being delusional!" Seungmin was full on grinning now, "why should I shut up? Are you getting shy perhaps?" You made a point to laugh dramatically as possible, "last time you teased me about being all shy and flustered you fell flat on the back, have you even considered to learn your fucking lesson? Or you want Karma to get you back, I knew you were masochistic freak! Be gone evil!" You got up and started walking, again he caought up with you, god this was getting boring.

"It's fun teasing you, I don't care if I might get hurt again because Karma got to me, I like seeing you all flustered up."

"You call this flustered? Oh baby boy how naive you are." It's really a shame you don't have a single oscar, maybe you should've gone into theatrics.

Seungmins face looked almost challenging. "Care to show me then?"

"I don't think you can handle me."

Seungmin did the thing everyone, unfortunately even you, thinks is attractive as fuck, he smiled at you while poking his cheek with his tongue, what a smug asshole. "Try me!"

You just blinked at him, eyebrow raised, -"really now?" You started approaching him while he looked at you with challenging eyes. You got close and close until there was literally no space between you. His face was unreadable once again but you took noticed how heavily he gulped once he felt your body against his. How cute of him to think you wouldn't see right through him. You smirked, "It's kind of funny, really, because I clearly remember how shy you got after I kissed you." He scoffed but didn't say anything, clearly waiting for your next move. He was simply watching you, analyzing you, just stydying you as if you were the most interesting subject. You stared back at him, challenging him back, you slowly started sliding your hands up his arms until they rested on his shoulders. "Can't even deny it, see? Didn't know you could actually be somewhat cute.

Seungmin made a point to just as slowly put his arms around your waist as you did, slowly dragging his hands up your hips and onto your waist. "What are you going to do about it?"

When did you even start whispering to each other? "God, you're so annoying, can you literally shut up for a second?"

Seungmin huffed, clearly amused by the situation, he once again looked dead into your eyes and mused "Make me!"

Oh he was on! You were absolutely set on on ruining him now. "Brat!" You mumbled against his lips before smashing your lips against his. There was literally nothing romantic or slow or emotional about the kiss. It was passionate, hungry, aggressive, hot and full of yearning. You two kissed each other like you two were starved of each other, you kept devouring each other's lips as if you wanted to become whole. You kissed him with as much passion as you could, he almost immediately kissed back, you fought for dominance at first but Seungmin gave in pretty soon, you knew it wasn't because he couldn't keep up, you just knew he could get you weak in the knees if he wanted to. He was thinking of something with his twisted head of this, there was no fucking way you were going to let him win, you were more set on making him flustered mess now. Maybe you were overthinking things but you didn't fucking care.

Seungmin let you do whatever you pleased, it was amazing how pliant he was being. You know he enjoyed just as much as you by the soft sounds he made occasionaly, every gasp of air, every tiniest little whimper did things to your heart you were shamed to admit. You felt excited, greedy, hungry for more! You've never felt more greedy in your life. You wanted to kiss him till your lips fell off. As much as you hated to admit it you just loved how his lips felt against yours, how soft they were even though they were chapped from the cold, how warm they were...You really hated how he made you feel so many emotions at once. What you hated even more was how alive he made you feel.

You slowly slid your hand through his hair, loving the feeling of his soft locks between your fingers, you just couldn't help yourself now. You grabbed the fistful on his nape and pulled on them experimentaly. He groaned against your lips and your heart almost did a backflip at this, you weren't even going to mention other parts of your body. The buttierflies in your stomach were full on raving now. Was he always this hot? You wanted to hear more! You slowly bit his lip and the soft whimper he let out was simply delicious.

Seungmin kissed you with more passion now, his hands migrated from your waist to your neck. His hands were really big and warm, it was something to feel them directly onto your skin, what made you weak in the knees was how he held you, right underneath your jaw, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. He slid his tounge briefly against your lower lip asking for entrance, who were you to deny him? You almost melted into a puddle when his tongue brushed over yours. You would have given in and let him take the lead if you weren't so set on winning this battle you've convinced yourself this was.

Eventually you two had to part because there was this thing called oxygen you needed to live or whatever. Your lungs were burning. Both of you could barely breathe, your lips felt as if they were buzzing, and you were hot all over, but it didn't stop you. You softly held him with one hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder. You showered his jaw with slow kisses, when you decided to slowly migrate your little attack down his neck, down along his pulseline. You dragged each and every one of them as much as you could to torture him more. His whole body was so tense, so warm. Held onto your hips so tightly, you wondered if it would leave marks on your skin. You kissed your way down his carotid artery feeling perfectly fine how fast and strongly his heat was beating. You wondered for a second if your heart was any better.

You just knew you found just the right spot near his collar when his whole body shruddered and he let out a cutest little noise of both complaint and pleasure, you waited for a second but he did nothing to stop you. He held onto you so tightly you were afraid your back could break in half when you slowly bit him on his sweet spot. He looked deep into your eyes looking unimpressed while you looked at him like you were an angel sent to earth just for him. You felt proud on the reddening spot on his neck. Maybe it would even be visible for days.

"What the fuck?"Both of you got startled by Han's shocked voice. He looked at you all wide eyed clearly waiting for any kind of explanation. You and Seungmin quickly let go of each other.

"We've been searching all over for your asses while you're here eating each other's faces off? What the fuck gyus! Sincw when are you two fucking?" Han kept berating you while you two sat in silence. You looked at Seungmin who looked like he wanted to die, his face all red. You couldn't help but just laugh, . "He wishes I fucked him. Also I win Minnie" You softly patted his butt, honestly even his but was great how was it fair? Seungmin looked like he was about to die from embarassment. You've absolutely won this battle, he coudln't even say a word, he was speechless! Kim fucking Seungmin speechless!

"I'm coming, lead the way Sungie." You ran towards Han completely ignoring Seungmin, smiling like you've never done anything wrong in your life.

"I need details, what the fuck happened here?"Han wasn't giving up. You wondered if you could sneak Seungmin into your room later without anyone noticing.

A/N - Can't believe I finally finished it, you've no idea how many times I have rewritten it. I really hope you enjoyed it. Any type of feedback is always welcomed, or anything really, if you want to send a request, an ask, a thought, headcannon or you simply want to chat. I live for all these interactions. They literally make my whole days! Thanks for reading, love you all and please take care of yourselves^^

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wildestdreamsblog · 1 year

Note

a one shot w jk and the one night stand scenario pls pls i beg 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ delulu levels r off the charts ever since ck

What he wants, he gets

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (idol au)

Warnings: Soft Yandere, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

3000 celebration

‘Fuck,’ you mouthed as you looked down at your bare body covered only by a white sheet, and then slowly and horrifyingly turned to look at the man beside you. Your eyes widened even further, your heart beat faster as recognition dawned on your face.

Fuck, indeed.

You let your head fell back down on the pillow in frustration. You couldn’t even have the luxury of experiencing any onslaught of confusion about what happened the night before because you knew full well. The soreness in between your thighs and the marks you could see scattered on your chest were enough to tell you what shouldn’t have happened.

You blamed the alcohol.

You even blamed the man beside you.

But worst of all, you blamed yourself.

You meant, in the first place, why did you allow yourself to go out and drink and completely lost it?!

And of all the people you could have slept with, why on earth did you sleep with the Jeon Jungkook?!

God, you knew you had to leave before he even woke up. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how he would react when he saw you beside him. He would probably think you tricked him somehow.

With bated breath, you lifted the heavy arm filled with artistic tattoos. You carefully watched his face, taking note of the way he whined when you left his arm. He was frowning adorably before you place a pillow in his arm.

You looked down at his handsome face. His dark, luscious hair was like a halo in perfect contrast to the white pillow. His slightly agape lips looked as kissable as they did last night. Jeon Jungkook looked like a dark prince that stepped out of a fairytale. He looked like a dream with his innocent face and his eyes filled with childlike wonder, yet his sinful body told a different story.

Sadly, you had to leave the dream and wake up.

You just wished he didn’t recognize you.

With a small, bitter smile on your lips, you kissed his cheek softly. And with that, you left. In your haste, you unknowingly left behind your bracelet with your name engraved on the inside,

Three weeks passed and yet, the memory of your time with him was still deeply etched in your mind. The way he kept looking at you in secret, a shy smile gracing his lips, the way the colorful lights from the club reflected on him, the way he finally built the courage to walk to you- they were all living rent free in your mind. The marks he so delightfully left in your skin may have already faded, but you could still feel him. The way he was so shy when he approached you was so opposite to how he was when he was on stage. The way he laughed at your jokes was like music in your ears… and the way he looked at you with interest and shyness both glinting in his eyes made you pull him by his clothes to kiss him. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself to forget. You have to if you were going to work with the group.

“Until when are you going to sulk, Jungkookie?” Jin asked the youngest maknae, his voice both worried and with a hint of sermon. Ever since he woke up hours later without you and with no trace of you except the bracelet you left behind, he felt angry. That was almost a month ago and everyone in the group could feel the shift in his mood and it was affecting them.

Jungkook was someone who was often laidback, someone who didn’t want to feel negative emotions. However, everyone knew he hated when he was being ignored and what you were doing was the highest form of neglect he had ever felt in his life.

“Until I see her again,” he answered quietly, his eyes focused on the bracelet he was wearing. It was tight on his wrist, but he didn’t care. This bracelet was the only information he had on you.

“Jungkook, you know we always give you everything you want. But we can’t give you her. Not when we don’t know anything about her except her first name,” Namjoon explained gently, his patience endless when it came to the golden maknae. He could see how you were able to affect Jungkook. This was the first time they saw him be attracted to someone, really attracted to someone.

Because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t lose sleep over you. He wouldn’t go home to his hyungs with tears in his eyes saying he lost you. He wouldn’t still look for you if you were meaningless.

“You’ll find her, Jungkook. We’ll help you, okay? But now, we need you to focus in this meeting.”

The meeting ran long. It was both draining yet productive to the boys. After deciding to call it a day, Jungkook walked out of the room. His eyes were focused on his phone when he felt someone ran into him. His hand immediately went out to steady her.

The girl bowed down her head in apology, her hair covering her face as she refused to meet Jungkook’s doe eyes. He tilted his head, about to ask her if she was okay. His large hand was still touching her forearm when he caught her.

And he felt something he couldn’t name.

Your heart beat faster. It was just your luck to run into him when you thought you successfully evaded him the whole meeting. But there was no way he recognized you, right?

“Have..have we met before?” He asked in confusion, his voice deep as he tried to peek at your face.

“N-no,” you answered while shaking your head, your hair still carefully placed in front of you. Your eyes were now on his hand that was still touching you. Your eyes widened when you recognized that bracelet.

It was yours.

Why was he wearing that?

In your surprise, you looked up at his dark and beautiful eyes. And before he could even process anything, you were apologizing yet again and walking as fast as you could to the elevator without looking suspicious.

Jungkook turned his broad back on you, his brows furrowed as he tried to remember your features and where he saw you. It was merely a second, only full second that he got to see your face before you hid behind your hair again.

You really looked familiar.

You felt familiar.

Could you be-

“Y/N! Enjoy your weekend!”

You had just entered when your coworker saw you. She waved at you, unknowing about the chaos she created.

The elevator was closing when you looked up and saw Jungkook snapped his head to you. His eyes looked betrayed as recognition finally dawned on him.

It was you.

It was your name. With purpose, he ran to the elevator only for him to miss it by half a second. You slumped back to the wall. There was no way that he didn’t recognize you now, his face told you everything.

Fuck. He was fucking mad.

He was fuming mad. He probably thought that you took advantage of him, never minding that he was bigger and stronger than you.

But still, he was younger than you by almost two years. You closed your eyes, praying this was all a bad dream. But the elevator finally dinged, signaling the basement floor. You opened your eyes just as the elevator door opened, only to reveal a huffing Jungkook.

He was breathing hard after running down the flights of stairs. There was no way in hell you would escape him now, not when he finally found you.

His dark clothes made him looked more imposing, more dangerous. His booted feet entered the elevator slowly, sauntering to where you were practically glued to the wall.

“Why are you running from me, noona?” He asked with his head tilted to the side. His voice was soft, but he was anything but.

Jungkook was both happy, yet angry. Happy that he finally found you. Angry that you had once again ran away from him, something that you weren’t allowed to do anymore.

Not when he finally found you.

“J-jungkook, that night was a mistake. I’m sorry,” you said with shaky voice, your hand stretched out in front of you to stop him from cornering you even further.

“Noona, how could you leave me alone?” He asked you with a pout, his hand caressing your face. Fucking finally. Finally, he could touch you again. “You promised me that you wouldn’t leave me.”

What?

“It wasn’t a mistake…it was meant to be,” he continued despite your grip on his thick wrist. You tried to stop him, but he was too determined and strong. His large body crowded you. He looked down at you with dark eyes, his eyebrow piercing glinting from the elevator’s light.

“But I forgive you. We’ll start again, noona.”

You were attracted to him, really you were. But the way he was right now, the way he sounded almost…terrifying, woke you up from the dream you were in. Jungkook was no prince charming.

“I need you to step back, Jungkook,” you said with a strong voice, pushing him away to no avail. “We need to talk about this?”

Jungkook chuckled darkly. “You want to talk? Fine, we’ll talk, noona.”

And before you knew it, he leaned down and your body was thrown over his wide shoulder.

Who would hear your cry for help in the basement? Who would stop him?

“Is that her?” Taehyung asked as he watched their maknae carried someone over his shoulder. He was finally smiling. No one knew this side of Jungkook. Behind his sweet smiles and personality, Jeon Jungkook was an obsessive man. No one knew, and unlucky you, you were about to experience first hand.

“It seems like,” Jimin answered before smiling.

No one could really control their maknae. What he wanted, he got.

Alternative ending

#jeon jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #yandere bts #3000 celebration #jungkook x you #yandere jungkook #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook x uou #jeon jungkook x reader

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lainsshop · 3 months

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Tears To Shed ୭ৎ

Pairing: Alastor x Zombie ! Reader

Tags: angst(?), fluff, out of characters(?), established relationship, corpse bride n probably more..

Song: Tears To Shed - Corpse Bride

A/N: I need more Rosie and Alastor interactions to be honest like.. I already miss them😭 anyways please enjoy this!

“Why so blue, dear?” Rosie asks as she puts a cup of tea onto the table. You were currently sitting at Rosie’s lounge feeling melancholy over someones comment to your relationship with Alastor, most of the time you didn’t care but this one- stung in your imaginary heart.

You see, you met Alastor when you two were alive, somehow and someway you both got together and your relationship bloomed to the point he proposed to you but- you got killed before your wedding even started. So, imagine the joy you felt when you encountered him again in Hell.

“Maybe.. he’s right, maybe we’re too- different.” You sighed. “Maybe he should have his head examined,” She suggested as she took a sit in front of you. “I could do it.” You wanted to smile at that but- “Or perhaps he does belong with someone else.” You looked at your cup of tea. “Someone who isn’t lil’ miss/mr non hearted,” You mocked yourself as you stand up to look at a mirror near you two. “Someone with rosy cheeks and a beating heart.” You murmured sadly.

“Oh, those people are ten a penny,” Rosie rolled her eyes as she follows you behind and puts her hand on your shoulders to try to comfort you. “You’ve got so much more, darling! You’ve got- you’ve got..” She looked around to try to find the right words for you. “You’ve got a wonderful personality!”

She smiles to you through the mirror. You truly wanted to feel better after hearing that but negative thoughts were still ruining in your head, Rosie sees this and sighs.

“What do those wispy lil’ brats have that you don’t have double? They can’t a candle to the beauty of your smile!” She croons as she places you down onto the chair, placing her index fingers in the corners of your mouth to make you smile.

“… how about a pulse?” You looked at her. “Overrated by a mile-“ She slightly scoffs. “Overfed, overblown!” She makes a gesture making the idea of a pulse uninteresting. “If only they knew the you that we know—“ You sighed as you stand up again, crossing your arms to think. “And those silly little creatures don’t even have a ring! And they don’t play piano or dance or sing!” She carefully grabbed one of your hands, and with a graceful motion, she twirled you into a seated position.

“No, they clearly don’t compare,” “But they don’t look like they’re decaying-“ “Who cares?” She interrupted. “Unimportant! Overrated, overblown! If only they could see how special your relationship with him can be,” She drags you through the mirror and adjusts your wedding clothes. “If only they knew the you that we know..” You gently push her away.

You went to Rosie’s balcony and hug yourself to try to find comfort. “If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain-“ You begin to sing plaintively. “If you cut me with a knife it’s still the same..” You moved your hand to the sky, fingers curling into a determined fist, as if reaching to grasp it.

“And I know they have a heart and I know that I don’t-“ You placed your hands on the railing, feeling the cool metal beneath your fingertips. “Yet the pain here that I feel, try and tell it’s not real.. it seems that I still have a tear to shed.” You touched your right cheek, feeling your eyes water a bit.

Rosie couldn’t help but feel sympathetic for you but she couldn’t just give up on cheering you on! “The sure redeeming feature from those little creatures is that they have a heart! Overrated, overblown, my dear friend!” She grins a bit wider as she stands next to you. “Everybody knows that they don’t know how to use that heart but you, sweetheart, even without a heart you can express it well with him!” She pointed out.

“Who cares? Unimportant! Overrated, overblown! If only they could see how special your relationship can be,” She grabbed one of your hands again and lead you inside the building. “If only they knew the you that we know..” She put you in front of the mirror again as she handed you a bouquet of flowers.

You looked at yourself, you imagined yourself walking through the aisle but- “If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain, in the ice or in the sun it’s all the same,” You handed the flowers back to Rosie. “Yet I feel my heart aching—though it doesn’t beat its breaking,” You looked at yourself in the mirror as you fixed your hair and dust off your attired.

“And the pain here I feel- try and tell me it’s not real, I know that I don’t have a heart..” Rosie couldn’t help but hug you.

“Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed..” You sang.

୭ৎ

You were now at the hotels lobby after your visit with Rosie, sitting at the pianos bench playing a few keys letting your mind wonder around.

“Ah! There you are, my dear!” A familiar voice you know enters the building, Alastor, your lover.

He walks towards you, the radio static getting a bit louder. You didn’t looked at him though, you continued to with what you’re doing. Alastor tilted his head a bit, curious about your reaction just now.

“Something wrong, my dearest?” No respond. Usually he would try to poke you just to get a reaction of you but your mood seemed different to him, he could read you like a book!

Since you’ve met when you were alive till now. He could sense that you were upset with something and he knew exactly what so he took a seat next to you and started to play a few notes.

You perfectly recognized them and looked at him with a surprised soft look and he just smiles at you as he continues.

You looked back at the piano and started to join in little by little, playing the song that used to play together when you were alive also being the song that was suppose to be played at your wedding.

You both looked at each other with soft eyes and- “Whoever made that comment will pay for what they did, I’ll make sure of that and also,” He paused for a bit trying to look how to say the next words that he’s about to say. “How do you feel about the possibility of marrying again, not in the sense of a second attempt, but in embracing the chance we never had when life took you away before we could say 'I do'?"

You froze at that moment, you didn’t know how to respond right away, you felt so many emotions blooming as he asked that. “… you serious?” You inquired. “You know I’m always honest with you, darling.” He grins a bit wider as he took one of your hands and place a small kiss on it.

“So?” You wanted to cry tears of joy at that moment. This is the same man who known for being a huge narcissistic, sadistic killer who also liked, and still does, to est his own people but yet- he still fell in love with you where you were alive.

Even if it took awhile to figured out his feelings for you, he absolutely adores you. You accepted all his flaws and even his weird habits, and even deep down he blames for your death but here you are.. next to him, forgiving him and still loving him the same way when you were alive together.

“Absolutely.” You smiled as a tear rolled down your cheek.

#alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel

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stevenssacrab · 5 months

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Before The Party

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ✧ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*

Summary: Just before the party, you question your outfit choice; Steve shows you how beautiful you are.

Rating: 18+ (minors, do not interact)

Warnings: lighting grinding, kissing, horny Steve lol, insecure reader, Steve being the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.

Word Count: 1k

a/n: I love Steve so much, the sweetest of man I swear, also I wrote the sexier parts to After Last Night by Bruno Mars, let me tell ya, perfect song for the occasion hahah

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ✧ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*

Today was the annual Christmas party at Stark Tower. You usually dreaded going to these, but you have someone to go with this year. This year, you decided to go a little sexier; you're wearing a floor-length burgundy dress, off the shoulders, with an A-line silhouette with a high slit stopping just below the hip bone, accompanied with a silver heel with rhinestone embellished straps. For jewelry, you went with a simple 18K white gold pendant, and of course, the hair, Hollywood waves with a crystal hairpin tucking your hair behind your ear.

"I hope I'm not overdressed," you said to yourself, suddenly insecure in your outfit choice; you shook your head as if shaking the negative thoughts out of your head, "No, I look good, right?" you ask aloud, raking your eyes over the ensemble, questioning every choice you've made up to this point.

"Baby, have you seen my shoes?" Steve called, walking into the room, too concerned with his outfit to notice yours, but only for a moment.

"Hey, do I look okay?" Steve finally lifts his head, laying eyes on you for the first time. He had been with you throughout the whole process of picking out everything, but this was his first time seeing it all together. He was rendered speechless; all the words in the world couldn't describe how elegant and stunning you looked, the dress hugging all your curves perfectly, accentuating every mound and hill that was you, and don't get him started on the slit, highlighting your long legs, making your legs never-ending, Steve, staring like a starved man, eager to kiss up your legs, worshipping and memorizing every beauty mark and scar on your body.

"Steve, do I look okay?" you whimpered, a hint of sadness lingering in your voice; you turned to Steve, with tears welling up in your eyes, having convinced yourself that you looked horrible.

"Okay?" he asked, walking around your shared bed, slowly sweeping his eyes over your entire body.

"I look bad, don't I? Ugh, I knew the dress was a bad idea; maybe I shouldn't go tonight," you admit sadly, moving to sit on the bed; you slip your shoes off; you want to curl up and hide.

"No baby, not at all," Steve says wholeheartedly; he grabs one heel and gently slips your foot back into it; he buckles the strap by your ankle and brings your leg up to his mouth, slowly kissing up your leg.

"You look amazing," one kiss, "beautiful," another kiss, "ethereal," another kiss. You blush deeply and giggle with every kiss Steve lays on your leg.

"Steve," you whine, wiping your eyes away and pull him up for a passionate kiss filled with every ounce of love you felt for this man. Steve climbs on top of you, trapping you under his broad body, sliding his body in between your legs, fitting perfectly like puzzle pieces; you let out a breathy moan, grinding your hips up into Steve, desperate for friction. Steve swallows every moan he earns from you.

"Steve," you whimpered, gripping his arms tightly. "Steve, we're gonna be late," you say, grinding into him despite your protests.

"Let's skip it," he groans, moving his lips to your neck and sucking gently, meeting every buck of your hips perfectly, drawing a whine from you.

"We can't, Tony. Will never let us live it down," you sigh. Steve groans loudly and climbs off you, extending his hand out to help you sit up.

"Whatever you say, Y/N," he laughs, smoothing out the wrinkles in his suit; he kneels in front of you and helps you put on your other heel, kissing up your legs like before.

"How do I look?" Steve asked; he was dressed in a light grey suit that complimented his blue eyes, accentuating his broad shoulders wonderfully; you ran your hands up his arm and past his shoulders, tip-toeing up to kiss him sweetly.

"Ravishing, my love," you utter in between kisses. Steve smiles into the kiss and rests his hand on the small of your back, pulling you into a deeper kiss; you break the kiss slowly, fluttering your eyes open.

"Ready to go?" you asked, scanning him over, laughing at his feet; he still doesn't have his shoes on.

"On the bed," you say confidently, Steve laughs.

"Yes, ma'am," he jokes playfully, watching you as you slowly kneel in front of him. "Now that's what I'm talking about," he says, smiling coyly; you smack his leg light-heartedly, grinning from ear to ear.

"The shoes," you say plainly, holding out your hand. Steve places the shoes in your hand, and you slowly slide his foot into each shoe; you gently pat his feet when you're finished.

"Let's go," you say happily, hooking your arm with Steve. The car ride to the tower was smooth and uneventful; Steve rested his hand on your thigh, drawing random patterns the whole way.

"We're here," Steve says and quickly hops out of the car, lightly jogging over to your side, opening the door for you, and offering his hand to assist you; you smile shyly and the gentlemanly gesture; Steve was always so chivalrous, never missing an opportunity to make you feel like a princess. Steve hands the keys over to the chauffeur and holds his arm out for you to rest your arm; you smile at Steve and stride forward, heels satisfyingly clapping against the tile. You smile up at Steve for the umpteenth time tonight while waiting for your elevator. The elevator arrives with a ding, and you step in, checking yourself one last time in the reflection; the doors open, and you meet with an array of fellow Avengers dressed to the nines, everyone smiling and drinking carelessly, soft Christmas music played by the live band filled your ears, you gently squeeze Steve's arm nervously, Steve returns a reassuring squeeze of your hand.

"We got this," Steve says with a nod; when you step through the threshold, your eyes meet with Wanda and Natasha; smiling brightly at them, they look at you with their mouths hanging open. "You look hot," Wanda mouths from across the room; you laugh, throwing your head back. Steve laughs and lets go of your arm to let you go to the girls; you give Steve one last look before excitedly walking over to them, and you're met with excited squeals and hugs.

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blackbirdffxiv · 1 month

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A lengthy ass-post about poly-shipping no one asked for

So I'm gonna go ahead and choose passive aggressive violence, in the form of an informative, lengthy as fuck post I think some folks need to read.

I won't be adding the post here, as I don't wish to direct potential harassment to the original poster (no matter how heinous I found a majority of the list), but if you're on twitter/"X", I'm sure you've seen a lengthy notepad list of RP "hot takes".

While I agreed with some of the points made, I feel it necessary to clarify some things, particularly about the points regarding polyamorous shipping.

If you don't want to read the blurb between here and the actual point list, just scroll down until you see green font.

Most know that I myself play a polyamorous character; I ship my character with other characters belonging to different players. I've been poly-ship for YEARS, so I feel I have some experience and can say some things about it.

Some points made in the "hot takes" list alluded to people using polyamorous shipping/multi-shipping as an excuse to just ERP and mess around with multiple people without consequence.

Sadly, yes, this does happen. It's unfortunate that selfish people only looking for specific things use it as an excuse for their behavior, but the only thing people can do is be aware of what to look out for when it comes to polyamorous shipping.

So rather than allow a negative light be painted on a valid means of shipping and roleplaying your characters in relationships, I think a quick lesson is needed.

Disclaimer: these are just my personal opinion on how I feel polyships should be handled, and some red flags I have seen during my time being a polyamorous OC player. By no means is this a rulebook, more like a guide so new and veteran roleplayers alike can be aware.

What a responsible poly-shipper will do:

Introduce you to their other partners - Communication is key in any relationship, this is not just for monogomous ships, but even moreso for polyamorous. A poly OC player will be open to introducing you to their other partners; while no one expects you to be best friends, it's good to be aware of just who else you'll possibly be regularly seeing around.

Share time and effort among your partners equally - A polycule relationship should be even across the board; one partner should not be treated better than the other. Treating one or more partners better than the other(s) is just a recipe for people getting hurt, both IC and OOC.

Be open and up front at the very beginning of IC interactions - A poly OC player will be up front and honest about the nature of their character if they have an interest in possibly shipping with you, or in case the possibility of it happening is there.

Encourage communication and prioritize problem-solving - This isn't just for poly ships, but ships in general. A good writing partner will encourage and WANT you to tell them about how you feel with the ship, especially if it's a problem with an easy solution.

Always make it known if they wish to bring another partner into the polycule & pose an introduction OOC - This is the most important part of being in a poly ship, making sure EVERYONE knows if there is someone new who will be joining the ship, and making introductions before a ship is made.

What a responsible poly ship player wouldn't/shouldn't do:

Hide the status of their ships - If your partner is hiding who they are shipping with from you, in my experience, this just means a person is going behind their partner's back (and is possibly cheating on them).

Brush off any possible issues you may be having with one of the partners in the ship - A responsible partner would aim to mediate the situation, and listen to all sides.

Discourage their poly partners from seeking other partners - Not every poly OC is monogomous with their poly partner, sometimes one poly OC will be shipped with another poly OC. Your partner would not expect you to drop your other ships to be with them while they continue their own, they should respect your decision to ship with your other partners.

Keep attempts to ship with other characters a secret - A responsible poly partner will make it known when they are attempting to or want to ship their OC with another as soon as intentions and wants are known. Not after a ship is already established.

Discourage those in the polycule ship from associating with each other - A partner in a healthy polycule would never discourage their partners from associating with each other; intentional separation more than likely is a means of hiding something, such as blatant favoritism, or even to keep ships a secret (in my experience).

Anyways I'll get off my soap box. I apologize for the lengthy post, but some things I've been seeing regarding this hot takes list were so blatantly heinous, I just felt like something should be said.

Have a good evening y'all; hug your pets, tell your friends you love them, and don't let jaded people online project their problems onto you.

Stay golden

#OOC #mun psa #I have chosen violence in the form of lengthy ass posts

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autistichalsin · 3 months

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Shippy Halsin/Origins moments, part 1: Lae'zel

I'm starting with Lae'zel because, sadly, she and Halsin have vanishingly little together. They have (2) party banters together, total, and very few of their one-one-interactions, I.E. in Origin Lae'zel runs, offer anything different than a Tav would. That said, there are a very few interactions I can pull shippiness from!

In the ending, if Origin Lae'zel is on the Orpheus path and chooses to fly off to the astral plane, Halsin will say: fly on, Lae'zel. May the Oak Father preserve you and guide you true.

Even if she's not of his world, he still hopes his deity will protect her. :)

If Lae'zel stays loyal to Vlaakith after the confrontation, Halsin says: Your loyalty stands to you, Lae'zel. I can only hope Vlaakith recognises it as I do.

Your queen's words have set your mind then, Lae'zel? I would not wish to be the one that Vlaakith unleashes you upon.

He believes in her, even on her evil path, and he admires her strength and skill in combat.

Similarly, if Lae'zel decides to turn against Vlaakith instead here: So, it seems that Vlaakith is your queen no longer, Lae'zel. That took no small amount of backbone.

He admires her, quite a bit.

When getting to know Halsin in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, Lae'zel, as with the other Origins, has a line unique to her.

For Lae'zel, the line is: I despise sunsets, slow wits - and small talk.

To which Halsin responds: Luckily there's nothing small about getting to know someone like you. There's little occasion for frivolity in nature - I can appreciate your stance... even if others do not.

Halsin very rarely responds negatively even to blatant insults. Here, though, he not only doesn't mind it, but he outright states his respectfulness of her and her boundaries. Despite having just said he wanted to know her like she wanted to know him, he is willing to back off when she says she doesn't want it to veer into small talk, and instead affirms her worth as a person (basically saying it's not small talk when it's her) and that it's valid to not enjoy more than the necessities of conversation.

This is a level of insightfulness and respect that a lot of the other companions don't give Lae'zel; they will either be angry at her attitude or try to get her to lighten up. Halsin just respects that this is who she is, even if he would like to talk to her casually. It speaks to Halsin's fluidity and adaptability in social situations that make him well-suited as a romantic partner to many different kinds of people, and while Lae'zel may be scornful of most- and definitely would scorn Halsin's diplomacy-first approach- I could see her slowly beginning to respect Halsin's attitude in turn. Unfortunately, though, that has to stay a theoretical, because in canon, almost every line that implies something between them is from Halsin to her, not vice-versa.

Here is one of the two party banters they share:

Halsin: Such hoarding of wealth. A tomb for riches that could be put to better use.

Lae'zel: I've heard the same said of bears - the kind you take the shape of. They hoard, gorge, and hibernate through hard times.

Halsin: True... but only until the thaw, then life goes on. This gold may never see daylight again, while others go cold and hungry.

Halsin doesn't act offended here, though he would have every right to be (in fact, he reacts calmly whenever someone pushes back against his nature metaphors and such). Instead, he calmly states his position to her.

Also, this is probably reaching (but when the content is this sparse, I kind of have to, right?) but one gets the feeling a Githyanki wouldn't exactly know a lot about bears normally. Maybe she asked the companions for information about bears to learn more about Halsin?

Their other party banter is, uh... well. THAT one.

Lae'zel: You've quite the appetite, Halsin. I'd wager you've bedded more of your foes than you've felled.

Halsin: Hmm. A challenging sum. The chimera has three heads... but does it still count as one?

Lae'zel: Must have been a challenging kill.

Halsin: Kill... yes.

The openness in sexual conversation is interesting, because both are far more unashamed about sex than normal; Lae'zel because of her culture and Halsin because of his Druidic beliefs. This causes Lae'zel to show no mercy in slut-shaming Halsin, and Halsin to be equally unusual in taking absolutely no offense to it, calmly responding to her question by... sharing a story one gets the feeling few others would want to share, I.E. bedding a chimera. (Well, either bedding it, or lying about it to troll Lae'zel, which would also be entertaining).

Interestingly, this conversation is all about the juxtaposition of sex and violence. While we all know Lae'zel prefers her lust as dessert after bloodlust, Halsin enjoys regular lust, but seems open to mixing it with violence (bedding more of his foes than he's felled). Which would seem to indicate he would be open to Lae'zels... preferred courtship.

And indeed, one of the few bits of reciprocation we see from Lae'zel is when discussing her thirst for Halsin. I.E. if another player character asks her for an open relationship with Halsin, she says: Undoubtedly. Arms like tree trunks, chest broad as an ocean[...]

And after recruiting him: Halsin's proved himself a fine ally already. He'll be useful in battle, If those tree-trunk arms are an indication.

Lastly, though it's not nearly as fun as some other reactions, they do, of course, react if the other is kidnapped by Orin, and it at least indicates good feelings to each other.

Lae'zel: Orin thinks Halsin's abduction is an ultimatum to kill Gortash. Foolish woman - as if I needed more reason than I already had.

This is actually quite a lot of positive emotion considering it's Lae'zel of all people saying this. It indicates she is NOT happy Halsin's been taken, even if she acts aloof about it.

And, lastly, to finish up this tragically short meta, is Halsin's reaction for Lae'zel being kidnapped by Orin: Will Orin truly free Lae'zel if we slay Gortash? I am not so sure... a rescue may be in order.

He wants to save her. :)

Yeah, that just about sums up how little I can piece together, try as I might. I WANT there to be a lot for them because I adore them together and want to have something to point to, but sadly, really, all we got is "Lae'zel's down bad" and "Halsin really respects her boundaries as a person who doesn't like to talk much." Not a lot to go on, but it could be a lot worse!

One post down, five more to go. :) Next up will be Halsin/Wyll.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #lae'zel #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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tinybirbwrites · 1 year

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Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way.

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders.

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment.

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time.

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?”

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you.

It was your blog.

It was your writing.

Your Nightwing fanfics.

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?”

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours.

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios.

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them.

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person.

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret.

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him.

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself.

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now.

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too.

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since.

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew.

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing.

He was nice like that. Goddammit.

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message.

From Dick.

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything.

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages.

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you.

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.”

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words.

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time.

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both.

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser.

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure.

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?”

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

#dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #reader insert #x reader #genderneutral reader

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idkanametoputhere · 2 years

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the ramshackle ghost

type: angst

pronouns: they/them

tw: death(obviously, it's a ghost), implied suicide, major character death, people pretending they don't know ab a certain event (not really a tw but using both yuu and preftect) DIDNT PROOFREAD THIS

masterlist<3

there are many ghosts that live in the ramshackle dorm, but none of them ever stood out

none except this one

a ghost that has confused many students attending NRC. their youthful expression and school uniform makes them seem like they were once attending this school. they are always roaming the halls, not interacting with students but just floating around

now, there are two very weird things about this ghost.

the first one is how they're treated by staff members. while the staff seems to ignore them, many people have heard them address the ghost by a name or title. "prefect" and "yuu" seemed to be the names they listened to

not only that, but staff members seemed almost sad, or guilty when seeing them. it wasn't that easy to miss trein's sighs whenever he spotted them, or how crewel would scold them like he did with the other students but never call them a "bad pup", or how sam let them get staff for free and pretending to not know it when students confronted him about them

but the weirdest staff members case had to be the headmage's. the ghost was often seen lurking outside his office, but not going in. whenever the two would interact with eachother and aura of awkwardness and tension would be filling the room. and is someone dared to complemt crowley while next to the ghost, they'd be quick to shut down the praise and then float away

the second thing making this particular ghost so interesting was the questions they'd ask

it wasn't anything that would be considered inappropriate or threatening, no no no, it was just weird

every now and then the ghost would approach the students and ask them one of two kinds of questions

they'd either ask about the hall of mirrors, asking if a new mirror had been added, or if they were feeling more down than usual they'd ask "has he found a way home", leaving sadly and quietly when they received a negative response

the second kind of question was simple, they'd ask about a few certain people that all happened to attend NRC at the same time. from royals, to celebrities, to people no one had even heard of, the ghost would ask if they were doing well. if the person they were asking about happened to be well-known, the students would reply, making the ghost thank them and float away with a bright smile

but the weird thing was, the people they asked about seemed to not know them. a notable example would be the one of the actor. when he was asked in an interview about a rumor that a ghost from NRC knew him personally his smile dropped for a quick second. then he regained his composure, saying "there were ghosts at one dorm, but none had interacted with me that much"

so no one really knew anything about them, why? because they people who knew the ghost when it was just yuu were scared. scared of what they had done in the past. scared to admit that they were the reason why the prefect did what they did to themselves. scared that the guilt and the shadows of the past would haunt them. scared that regrets will fill their heads, cause they never helped the one who helped everyone else

all that cause no one found a way for the magicless prefect to go back home. and now they can't go home even after death

okay damn, first thing I've written and posted since late 2020, damnnn

#phantom's writing #im so sleep deprived #pure angst #twst #twst disney #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst yuu #twst prefect #disney twst #twst angst #twst fic #i swear im okay #i just love angst #they dead #twst ramshackle #twst staff #twst au #im ded

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ailendolin · 3 months

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Here are my first thoughts after finally having watched the 2023 Christmas Special for the first time:

Positive:

Baby Mia is absolutely adorable and Alison and Mike are wonderful parents. They've grown and matured so much throughout the series and it's lovely to see that in the way they are with Mia and take care of her

and speaking of growth: I think it's lovely that in the end, the ghosts are ready to let Alison and Mike go. They've really come full circle from trying to get them to leave in the beginning to begging them to stay in series 5 and finally, to encouraging them to leave because that's what's best for Alison and Mike's family

I love that Alison looks like the tired, exhausted mum she is. These days, characters often look picture perfect in film and TV, no matter the situation, and Ghosts has always felt like a breath of fresh air because people are allowed to look normal. It's little things like Alison's yellow coat that she's worn throughout the show hanging by the door, her wearing Mike's flannels or having bags under her eyes that make it feel beautifully real down to Earth, and I'm glad the downsides of having a child didn't get glossed over

one of my favourite moments was the shrug Humphrey's body gave when everyone was looking for its head. That genuinely made me laugh because of course the body would not care whether the head would get exorcised or not

and omg, the exorcism scene was so well done! I love the music in the background (I so hope we'll get a soundtrack one day), the panic on Mike's face when he quite literally runs to warn Alison, the panic on Alison's face when she's faced with the possibility of losing the ghosts, the fear when she can't find them (which parallels 5x01) and finally the relief and smile when she hears their voices. That whole sequence was just perfect

I love that it's Thomas who says, "Because they just can't help being who they are," because it's not an excuse for his behaviour but an explanation - and a recurring theme for him. Right in the beginning of the show, he said, "We stay how we die," and I think for him, those words have proven to be true. He is heartbroken and he'll stay that way. He can't help that. He does not want Alison to go ("Why did I vote for this? I hate it.") but in the end he knows it's what's best for her and for himself, even if it breaks his broken heart a little more.

seeing Button House in all its glory in the end. It still being called Button House. Fanny and Humphrey's portraits on the wall (and the third one might be Kitty's?). Higham Suite (which was the thing that made me tear up because my first thought was that it's meant to honour Isabelle and I love that (although I realise it's probably meant to honour Kitty but I'm choosing to ignore that)). Thomas still complimenting Alison even though she's grown old and thus making a point that his affections for her were never just about her looks

Neutral:

I would have preferred if Alison and Mike had stayed at Button House because for me, the show has always been about family and I don't think they had to leave the ghosts behind to find their own way. BUT the way the Idiots wrote and executed it - with the ghosts encouraging them to leave, establishing that Alison and Mike regularly come back to the house and with details like Higham Suite that clearly show that Alison and Mike had the ghosts in mind when they made the contract for sale - makes it okay for me.

I'm a bit sad we did not get to see more of the ghosts interacting with baby Mia but what we saw - Pat and Cap especially - was very sweet

Negative:

the pacing. I am so sorry but I think they crammed too much into the episode. They either should have cut the exorcism storyline (as much as I loved it) or gone for a 60 minute special. There's just too much going on for 30 minutes, and too many time jumps (I wasn't a fan of them in the 2021 Christmas Special either) that sadly make the whole episode feel very rushed

and because it felt so rushed a lot of plots did not have the impact they were meant to have, at least not on me. Robin's feelings about Christmas for example.

also what was going on with Kitty and the baby at the beginning? Her being jealous is obviously not a new thing but the issue did not really get resolved, did it?

the latter also goes for Thomas's feelings for Alison which brings me to my biggest criticism of the whole show: he never got the character development he deserved (and, to an extent, neither did Fanny). The whole baby storyline would have been the perfect set up for him to move on from Alison (including discussions about different types of love and him realising that Alison does love him platonically and that that's enough) but it never happened. I feel like he was done dirty in that regard because every other character except him got to grow

I have probably missed a ton of moments - and I will rewatch the episode once I've rewatched series 5 - and likely repeated things here that others have said before. Since I had blocked all tags blocked when the Special aired I have no idea how the fandom's reaction to it was but if anyone still wants to talk about it, my asks are open.

#bbc ghosts #mp bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers

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soshadysoquiet · 2 months

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TUA S4 Concerns *some spoilers for what's been teased so far*

So I'm concerned about Season 4. I want to be hopeful, but I am concerned. C o n c e r n e d.

It's short. There's bits in TUA that I don't personally enjoy as much and skip, there's bits that could have been taken out and nothing would have changed... but I like having that bit of room for more: did we need the Ikea Mafia's viking foot funeral? No. But did we need it? Yes.

The ball pit. The ball pit concerns me on a number of levels, and I'm sure it will be funny, I hope it will be funny, I just hope it's relevant enough why they're in that setting to not be too gimmicky, e.g. it made sense they ended up in the bowling alley; they probably snuck out there as kids and so it was one location they would all know, but man that ball pit worries me like a sleep paralysis demon.

The potential for germaphobe Klaus (sorry that's probs not the correct term but I can't think of what it might be). I can see why he'd be afraid of death now, but is it germ/cleanliness specific? If so why? Klaus has been one of the least concerned about hygiene up to this point so they're laying a whole new framework that I hope they give sufficient depth to. I'm an OCD sufferer myself, about death anxiety in fact, and I haven't resonated OCD with Klaus before if that is what they go for - I'm open to it, just not a cheap OCD gimmick. There's So Much trauma in all these characters at this point, my worry isn't them exploring new avenues as much as not bothering to look into the trauma they've already heaped on and doing something new for the sake of it. If it's done well, I'm all for it, but there's some previous with trauma getting forgotten on TUA so...

The Jennifer Incident. Please, please let this be more interesting than a romance story.

Lila's baby. I love Lila, I don't have a problem with her being preggo etc, I worry a little that TUA tends to speed run life so what is this actually going to look like? Parenthood is such a big life changing deal that I'm curious / cautious about what they'll have done with the characters here.

Viktor. His schtick is that He's Mr Apocalypse, sadly that limits his character coming to a place of peace in some ways. But mostly just let him have an actual conversation? Please? He'll have had 6 years this time skip, if they bullshit that 'oh no one's really seen each other in 6 years' lazy ass nonsense I'll be fuming.

As above, there's been 6 YEARS here, I want to watch the characters and feel that time has passed, that they've interacted, have in jokes now, shared history, maybe not all of them but that makes it even better; have Diego and Klaus have a cleaning routine together to help Diego understand Klaus and trying to be supportive if brusque, but then defending this to his other siblings. Have Luther share some actually positive moments with his other siblings and not just have been in Sloane-hunting solitude, make him always be trying to host awkward family BBQs that the others force (or pretend to force) themselves to go to. Have literally any of the siblings be on the look out or Five's triggers for him - and better yet actually give him some now that he's had time for the PTSD to swell. I want the small nitty gritty details, I want the filling, I want to feel the expanse of time not just 'oh shit another week and there's an apocalypse and we haven't seen each other hey ho oh look a ball pit!'

Anyway, I'm hopeful, but concerned, and I'm sure I'll love it and don't intend to be negative, it just helps me to voice them. Either way, I pray for the fan fiction that follows the series most of all, the rising of the crowd to give us more of what the series does deliver and flesh out what it does not. Is it weird to almost be more excited for that?

#tua #the umbrella academy #Season 4 Speculation #Anyone else have concerns?#Am I being daft in the above?#Is anyone else worried about the ball pit?#Don't get me wrong I love a ball pit #I support a ball pit #I'm just concerned about that god damn ball pit okay

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cupids-chamber · 8 months

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2023/08/23

I'll be on my way now, I'm closing down all my other blogs and ask bin. I'd prefer if no one reached out to me during this time.

I'll be active on my Wattpad account if I feel like writing from time to time, (I'd also like to finish what I started) I've also made an AO3 account, in case I post anything. I plan on posting my Concubine series & Circus au works there as well.

(More info below the undercut)

Hi! This may come of as a shock, and I try not to get too open on this blog, but a month, or so ago. I posted about how I might have DID. (I did extensive research on DID, and reached out to my cousin who had DID for help, and though I will not self diagnose, I match almost all if not all the symptoms for it.)

This Cupid persona has developed into someone of it's own, and I don't feel like I'm the same person as before, and in all honesty I genuinely don't even know who I'm anymore. It's hard for me to focus on my health and mental health, along side simple tasks and even hobbies like writing which I love.

I will say coming into tumblr, the past two years caused me more harm then good. I've realized that though I came into this app being extremely s*icidal and interacting with the users here have made me feel better about myself. It has caused many negative impacts, and I can confidently say that due to me obsessing over writing on time or everyday for tumblr, I've developed an eating disorder of sorts, and recently it seems my body is rejecting food as a whole.

I love writing, and I love that people enjoy my writing, sadly it's the cause of a lot of health issues, mentally and physically. And though I still write from time to time, recently typing or writing by hand makes me feel awful and it's not like those usual burn outs.

I feel like crying as I'm typing this up, and a lot of people may call me dramatic for this but I genuinely feel a pit in my stomach when I go on this app it's not even funny anymore. This blog itself has caused me so much trouble behind the scenes, and though I'm not quitting. I most certainly can't leave something I've worked so hard on, (and this is the place where I met the few people that honestly may not know it, but probably helped stop me from offing myself.)

Like I said, I'll be on different apps, maybe once every 2 weeks or a month, but I'm trying to avoid social media, trying to pick up new hobbies, trying to gain some sort of stability in my life because I'm not stable enough to handle anything right now but like I said, I love writing and I think you guys should at least see it through on the series and tasks I've started.

I'm crying now, and I'm very grateful that you've all supported my work, and allowed me to explore my writing on this platform, I've learned a lot about this fandom. I still find it ironic that people call me a workaholic, I'm genuinely the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet.

Thank you for supporting me, because without your support and reassurance, I might not have been here until now. Especially to some of my moots, who took the time to chat with me.

So, this is goodbye I suppose. At least on this platform, maybe not forever, but it is goodbye for the next good while.

— Signing off, cupids-chamber

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wavernot4love · 22 days

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wanted 2 make a post about some positive things that happened at iDKHOW Buffalo last night, because there certainly was good in there, for everyone involved, and i want to highlight/talk about that stuff!

i make these posts a lot for shows, mostly for myself so i don't forget, but others seem 2 enjoy them too, and i don't think last night's show should be any exception.

- first of all, OPENING BAND in the crowd!!! something i have never heard of dallon doing for that one before, and all things considered, i fully see why he chose to do it here as it fit the clear vibe of just wanting to be close with and sort of revel in the connection with the crowd - and the ability of that to make everything better.

there were no flamboyant theatrics like with visitation, just all of us singing together (it was also just anthony playing onstage), and homie stayed out with us for a long time - most of the song. i was also right up there which was nice.

(i'm just gonna put a keep reading thingy here you can click so this doesn't clog tags/folks' dash due to being long)

was just super sentimental. dallon even brought the "gives me.... and ____ a purpose" thing back, mentioning/gesturing towards anthony, & also the thing where when we're all doing the last "band" he like, leans back and yells it with his hands around his mouth. just kinda got me & made me smile since he didn't do either of those things on saturday, and i always do them out of habit when singing the song because of past shows.

definitely the best moment of the night & the embodiment of everything i love about idkhow. he truly made the best out of everything.

i didn't film all of it, & also my camera angles are bad since i didn't want to shove my phone in dallon (or anyone's) face. this is the only video i really feel comfortable posting from last night since it just felt like everything was alright in that moment, 100%. not that i took many in the first place for that reason, but you get the idea.

- dallon strutting around with a pride flag from someone for half a song!! let me tell you, bro was showing that thing OFF. sadly i just had my film camera in hand in the moment so i just grabbed maybe five shots on that aka i don't have em yet, but i'll have em eventually, and it sure did happen, and it was great. did see a few posts in idkhow's tagged on instagram if ya wanna peep.

- back to what i said in regards to opening band about making a rough situation more positive, dallon brought up this exact point (even moreso than usual, including just on saturday in rochester) earlier in the show while talking about a letter - he went really in depth about turning negative stuff into something beautiful. and was talking about how when he wrote the song, he could only hear what we were doing now (you know the parts, in the chorus) in his head, and now he gets to actually experience it, and so he never stops playing this song even 20 years after he wrote it. i love dallon's love for a letter, man, and hope he never does stop.

- downside has truly become one of my favorite live songs. holy moly dude it had even the otherwise seemingly casual fans going wild, possibly even more than rochester actually. that is a song to freakin JUMP to if there ever was one!!!

- did mention this in my post from last night, but a while after the show (there were only maybe a dozen of us around at this point), on his way out to the bus, dallon kind of smiled & waved at us/said thank you, first to the larger group closer to the venue and then to the few of us a bit further down, too.

can't really word it right, but just the fact that despite seeming quite down, still, bro took care to make sure we all felt appreciated/not ignored was sweet. i think maybe he could tell we were concerned, i don't know, dude, all i do know is there's a lot of kindness in that dude's eyes.

had honestly never really interacted with dallon all these years prior to these shows (besides theatrical visitation crowd stuff), so i hadn't fully realized until these past few days - really given me a different perspective i hadn't fully caught onto before amidst the dramatic aspects of idkhow/dallon & their shows, i guess.

point is, dallon's a kind dude. be good to him. just wanted to say that.

- and finally, last night was my eighth (!) idkhow show, & what's crazy is i have never traveled more than an hour & a half for one all this time. i can't say that goes for any other band, and that fact doesn't go lost on me. western ny loves and shows up for idkhow, & idkhow loves and shows up for western ny always. <3

i just have so much love for all this, dude. i miss the shows already.

this project & dallon's music & the live shows have all been in my life for so long. both of these shows have been special in some way or another, last night being a reminder of how powerful everything idkhow has going is to the point of being able to make something good out of, well, whatever might be going on.

truly hope to catch another show back around here sometime soon. please get out 2 a gig if you can - chances are, like me and everyone i've encountered, really, at their shows, you'll never want to stop going, either, if you do. :p

#idkhow #i dont know how but they found me #gloomtown tour #dallon weekes #idkhowposting #wavernot4love gets 2 the gig

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brighteyedbushybrowed · 7 months

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could we maybe get headcanons on how copia would react to his s/o watching him become papa? how he would feel, if he would be proud, and how he and his partner would interact after?

My brain is doing that thing again where the mental health isn't mental healthing so apologies if these headcanons aren't as good as what I usually put out!!

Because of it being so unexpected for Copia when Nihil died on stage and suddenly siblings of sin were taking to the stage to annoint him as Papa, I think he would've been really nervous about it at first

Especially knowing that you're watching from the wings and also had no idea that this was going to happen

He was scared that you'd think he hadn't trusted you with the knowledge that he was going to become Papa and he was worried that it would negatively impact your relationship

But when he catches a glimpse of you watching

And the way you beam with pride and cheer for him as he's adorned with the mitre and paint

He would feel such great relief

Copia always has that lingering fear because he never knew who his parents were that others he's going to get close to will leave him

However, in that moment that fear vanishes for the time being

He feels so incredibly proud to have someone like you by his side who supports him and cheers him on, even when something so unexpected and monumental like this happens

After his ascension and once the concert has ended, you're the first person that Copia seeks out

He doesn't give a shit about Sister Imperator waiting for him or all the siblings of sin trying to swarm around him, all he cares about is you

He's different to other Papas in that he was never raised to become Papa in the way that Primo, Secondo, and Terzo were

Sure, Imperator had always made lighthearted comments during his time as cardinal about what will happen when his time to become Papa approaches, but he'd never been raised with the protocol and etiquette of being Papa like the others had been

You are his favourite and he doesn't really care to find someone to be his Prime Mover. Why would he when he has you?

While he knows not to show his favouritism, he doesn't deny that you are the one who has his favour or that you're the only person he wishes to spend the rest of his life with

You both have to learn to at least try to keep things professional when performing your duties within your roles at the Ministry

But you also devise codes and signals to communicate with one another what your true thoughts or opinions are when you have to act professionally around the clergy

Sadly, being Papa does mean he has less time for you

But that doesn't mean Copia doesn't prioritise you

You hold Papa's favour, which is represented by the sapphire adorned gold crucifix pin that sits just above your heart on your uniform

And as such, Copia puts you before other members of the clergy and even before Imperator herself

You may as well be reigning as a satanic pope in your own right beside him, because that's how much he values your views and opinions and how high he places you above everyone else

#cardinal copia #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus iv x reader #the band ghost #headcanons #headcanon requests

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myobsessionsspace · 8 months

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Fanservice, Queerbaiting or ‘Something Else’

There have been endless conversations, since the days of the 1st generation idol, when it comes to ‘fanservice.’ Conversations about what it is, what’s acceptable as fanservice, what acts are of the idols own volition or what is forced upon them by their company, managers and fans.

Looking up fanservice, it seems that EVERY K-Pop idol partakes in this, it can be as innocuous as giving a fan a wave on stage or lifting their shirt to show their fans their abs. BTS being no exception.

Sometimes ‘fanservice’ can skirt across what has been mentioned above, into territories that cause confusion and cause fans and others to loose boundaries in regards to how they perceive their relationship with their idol and also how they perceive their idol’s relationships with their members.

Due to k-pop not just being limited to South Korea sometimes there may be actions of idols that cause confusion due to different cultures understandings of what should be seen as entertaining and befitting of singers.

Acts of fanservice such as pepero/poki games or using a piece of paper between two members lips to pass along a line of participants, start to toe the line from ‘fanservice’ to ‘queerbaiting’ in the eyes of different cultures.

The entertainment behind these games is to be able to have to fans visualise their idols (who are mainly of same sex groups) near kiss their members and sometimes accidentally kiss them as they play these games.

Idol have also been know in game shows to be punished into wearing dresses, skirts, long wigs and high heels. These questionable ‘punishments’ also toes the line between ‘fanservice’ and ‘queerbaiting’ depending on the level of comfort the idols display when carrying out their ‘punishments.’

Some idols take such ‘punishments’ in their stride and even embrace it with stereotypical behaviours, which lend towards the ‘queerbaiting’ element, allowing their fans to ‘question’ their idols sexuality, just because they comfortably wear and dance in heels, add ‘flamboyance’ to them wearing dresses etc.

If it was examples like this alone, there may not be as much discourse as there is when it comes to idols and ‘fanservice’.

Yes, skinship is also something, though not fanservice in terms of the above definitions, due to cultural differences skinship also adds, at times, to the ‘fanservice’/‘queerbaiting’ conversation.

Unfortunately some idols go above and beyond simple skinship, to where no other term can reasonably be used BUT ‘queerbaiting’

Some of the idols pictured have sadly been quoted as deeming queerness to be a mental illness and do not support, nor are they part of the community.

In such simple terms such idols are indeed queerbaiting.

However…

Though pretty much all idols partake in fanservice…

Though some idols toe the line between fanservice and queerbaiting…

Even when a few idols outright queerbait with no allegiance in anyway to the community…

IT DOESN’T MEAN QUEER IDOLS DO NOT EXIST.

IT DOESN’T MEAN ALL MEMBER INTERACTIONS ARE FANSERVICE.

IT DOESN’T MEAN THERE ARE NO GENUINE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN IDOLS AND THEIR FANS OR BETWEEN IDOLS AND THEIR MEMBERS.

When the term fanservice is used in regards to any sort of words or actions of affection, support and love towards another group member it does become upsetting after a while. Fanservice these days has become a negative word, to be frank it is used more as an insult towards idols these days.

Why, if it’s between members that the naysayer doesn’t want to see interact with each other, must it then be fanservice?

When the term fanservice is used, in regards to two members that spend time with each other during downtimes at work, when not in the midst of work schedules, when going for meals, activities etc. Does it have to be labelled as fanservice?

When a member shows a more involved and unique bond with one member of their group in comparison to the others, why must it be fanservice? Why has the term and definition for fanservice now become used interchangeably with queerbaiting?

When members of a group are keenly aware of their interactions with another member and how they ‘might be seen as queer’ so pull back, when they avoid intimate moments but are spotted even when trying to be subtle is that then queerbaiting? Are they providing fanservice when off in a corner of the dance studio, with family and friends, at restaurants, backstage, in foreign countries?

Being intentional with the use of queer imagery in their music videos, albums, photoshoots etc but not explicitly coming out as queer in a homophobic industry and country is not queerbaiting.

It is always hard to know idols intentions and thoughts when they don’t share them verbally. It’s easy to draw our own conclusions as to if actions are genuine, fanservice or queerbaiting.

But sometimes, just sometimes, what they show us, says all that needs to be said and maybe, just maybe we can accept that it IS just that simple.

Not fanservice, not queerbaiting, but them being them. True to their fans, true to each other and true to themselves.