#like okay you can be undead but you gotta be pretty

[hello-from-the-night-archives]

hello from the hallowoods dashboard simulator

😈 valerie-meme-stone

I'm not ready for my spotify wrapped to just be stonemaiden. like i get it spotify i know i'm gay

53 notes

📝 the-poetry-panopticon Follow

Unfriendly reminder not to sign up for a Dreaming Box subscription! The Botulus Corporation is not to be trusted! Here's an article explaining the language in their contract and why it's concerning! In addtion, they use AI generated images in the Prime Dream, which we should all know by now is unethical.

14,034 notes

🥗 bisexualranchdressing Follow

dang this is crazy. i thought wildfire smoke was bad but what the fuck is this????

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

well according to color theory

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

never mind i've got nothing

739 notes

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

friendly reminder to stop spreading misinformation about the black water! people are saying that it brings people and animals back to life but that's not exactly true! although their body may be back, they're not the same person and they will likely become violent and dangerous. please stay inside and be really careful what you and your pets eat or drink.

🐈‍⬛ cats-not-capitalism Follow

fuck you op i'm keeping my undead cat

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

good luck keeping your fingers

48,230 notes

🐧 morally-grey-penguin Follow

1,383,248 notes

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

i must not go to sleep in the lake today. afternoon nap is the mind killer

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

mmmmmm cozy

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

where is my skin

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

going back to sleep honk shoooooo

635 notes

🌮 mysteriously-crafty-nacho Follow

reblog this post to go north with the person you reblogged this from

54,092 notes

🧊 botulus-corporation Follow

The Botulus Corporation is with you during this difficult time. Join our happy dreaming family where you and your loved ones will be safe from the rain. Tumblr users get 30% off on a Dreaming Box subscription!

🐨 chief-koala-typhoon Follow

73,932 notes

🌿 shiny-wolf-tragedy Follow

it fucken rainny

🐼 dreamland-panda Follow

love that they'll be a literal apocalyse and tumblr users will just make memes. never change tumblr

72,138 notes

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

choosing between the irl amazing digital circus or probably fucking dying was not on my 2030 bingo card but okay

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

at this point i just gotta expect that if the year is divisible by 10 then something terrible will happen

94 notes

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

hey do you think i can get a real werewolf boyfriend now that monsters are real

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

any cute werewolf boyfriends in this part of the woods

429 notes

🌷 pleasant-arcade-land

oh man it's been a couple months since I last updated this fanfic huh! so I just drank some black water by accident and now I have a few extra fingers, and honestly that took some getting used to, but it's actually pretty convenient now and is really helpign me get more words in lol im still here writing homestuck fanfic in 2030 hehehehehe anyway new chapter here

38 notes

🌑 the-void-whispers Follow

so, it looks like tumblr might be dying soon due to, well, *gestures wildly.* You'll have to kill me before I join Twitter now that the Botulus Corporation bought it (and no, I am not calling it B, that is just stupid) so if you want to hear from me you will simply need to look out for passenger pigeons. in the meantime, ill be here until tumblr straight up dies and i have a crying session about it

🦌 gamer-guy-bath-water Follow

we do not grieve ice when it melts, or celebrate the sapling when it rises from the soil. they just are. life and death and rebirth are one constant state. and without change, there would be nothing to watch

⚔️ sword-lesbian-enthusiast

add that to the list of banger quotes from tumblr memes

82,362 notes

#my post #hfth #hfthw #hello from the hallowoods #unreality #fake post #hfth spoilers

[emeritus-fuckers]

Mary Goore headcanons

The biggest freak in Repugnant. And that says a lot.

Mary's non-binary, uses they/them pronouns.

Mary's got a wide gallery of kinks that most would consider taboo.

Starting with piss kink and ending with cannibalism type of kinky.

They're willing to try pretty much everything once and while they might not fully respect someone's private space at first, they're actually pretty chill once someone gets to know them.

They're still obviously gonna be their fucked-up self, though.

Befriending Mary requires becoming comfortable with their touchy-feely nature.

They're the type of person to make out with their mates.

Repugnant members are all very touchy with each other. Kissing, slapping each other's asses, making out, grabbing each other's crotches... hell, they fuck each other all the time.

And Mary is usually the one getting the most attention because they're the scrawniest.

They also use slurs and insults but in a playful, affectionate way. So to get close to Mary, one must get used to all that.

Back to the kinks, though, Mary's big three kinks are piss, cannibalism and (theoretically, since they're undead and essentially a walking corpse) consentual necrophilia.

Mary is dead. They have taken part in a ritual a few years after Repugnant became a thing, which essnentially turned them into a fully aware undead corpse.

They don't even rot really. They're just cold to the touch and have to breath manually. They do have a heartbeat and a pulse, though. For some reason. They can also still blush, but their blood is incredibly dark, so it looks their cheeks are literally turning black.

They get turned on by the weirdest shit. Threaten to beat them up? Into that. Call them a perv? Into that as well.

If you befriend Mary, you'll most definitely end up hooking up with them or joining in on their shenaningans.

And you'll probably end up getting close to the other bandmates.

Doesn't mind if you hook up with any of them, by the way. They hook up with their bandmates too, after all.

Hell, these folks have orgies together. They'll probably invite you to join them.

Mary's not legally allowed in graveyards. Which doesn't really matter to them because it's their favorite place.

They've been a part of multiple orgies in a mausoleum.

The also have a life-time ban from Hot Topic after masturbating in th changing room simply because they said "eh, why not?"

Pissed their pants on the tour bus once because they got fucking wasted. DD, equally wasted, sucked their dick in consolation. No clean-up. Mary came way quicker than they normally do. DD refuses to let that story go.

Mary is sort of oblivious to boundaries. They are okay with pretty much everything and just... assumes their partner is too. The partner has to be the one to bring it up. After being told the boundaries, Mary absolutely respects them. They maybe fucked up, but not that fucked up.

They're also pretty perceptive, but they also never push. If you wanna talk about your emotions, you gotta tell them.

Mary has an OnlyFans. It's the source of half of Repugnant's budget. The other half is DD's financial scams and pyramids.

Their upper right fang is broken. A result of a fist-fight.

They're insecure about their teeth because many people in their childhood told them their smile was making everyone uncomfortable.

They have pretty poor personal hygiene in general. They literally have to be forced to bathe or shower. Usually by DD who is just completely done with their bullshit.

Their favorite movie is the Human Centipede. Once made a comment about how this is what rimming parties would look like if people weren't cowards.

Unhinged switch.

Pretty aggressive while topping. Bites a lot. Might bite a bit of their partner off if they're allowed to. A sadist.

Complete masochist when bottoming. Their partner could literally torture them and they'd love every second of it.

You could piss in their mouth and they'd be delighted. Much prefers to drink piss instead of pissing into other people's mouths, but they'll do that, too, if asked.

Has a fantasy of people riding them while they pretend to be dead.

Absolutely no shame when you tell them the most degenerate shit ever. Gets all flustred when called cute. It's hilarious.

I love Mary and I could talk about them for hours, so I'll stop here before it becomes too much.

~

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @thermodynamic-comedian @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday

#repugnant #mary goore #headcanons #repugnant band #repugnant event

[ohii-san]

UNKNOWN HOLY NIGHT AND NIGHTHEAD - WHITE CAROL 2

Mitsuru: Mm? Tomo-chan, I don’t see anyone who could’ve called us~?

Tomoya: Eh. That’s strange. We came here because we were called for a briefing about our next job…

Excuse me. Can I just ask you…[1]

—Ah, you’re leaving for your break now? Will you be back soon? If that’s the case, I’ll wait, it’s okay. Thank you!

Mitsuru. Looks like they’ll be back soon, so let’s just wait.

Mitsuru: Mhm!

Tomoya: Having said that, though, it’d be a waste of time to just wait around like this. Plus, you look out of place just standing there near the entrance.

Mitsuru: Tomo-chan. There’s lots of posters put up around here! Why don’t we look at them?

Tomoya: Ehh, like which ones?

I never really took a good look at it until now, but there’s lots of posters here with idols belonging to our agency, aren’t there?

Oh, looks like Hasumi-senpai’s drama will start next year. I’ve gotta watch it~!

—Ah. A poster for our new album’s been put up, too.

It’s really moving to see it like this. Makes me feel like I really am an idol.

Ehehe, I still haven’t gotten used to seeing my face on posters though.

Mitsuru: Hey, hey, Tomo-chan! Look at this~☆

Tomoya: Hm? What’s up, Mitsuru?

Mitsuru: I’m copying Ado-chan-senpai’s pose!

Mitsuru: How is it, how is it? Do you think I look like “Mitsuru Tenma; Rebellious and Wicked Idol”?

Tomoya: Ahaha. It kinda suits you~. Otogari-senpai in the poster behind you looks cool, but it feels like you’re trying too hard, Mitsuru.

Mitsuru: You don’t have to laugh that much! Tomo-chan is so cruel!

Tomoya: Sorry, sorry. My bad. But as expected, it’s impossible for us to act like UNDEAD, right?

Mitsuru: But we’ll grow up and be as cool as we can be– we won't lose to Ado-chan-senpai!

Tomoya: You know, Otogari-senpai and Mitsuru are only one year apart…

Nn? Was that my phone ringing?

Mitsuru: Mhm. I know that sound. Tomo–chan must have received a message from someone, right?

Tomoya: You’ve got pretty good hearing, Mitsuru~. Let’s see…?

Ah. It’s true. Looks like Anzu-san has been messaging me.

Mitsuru: Eh. From Anzu nee-chan?

That’s nice~, Tomo-chan! What’s Anzu nee-chan saying?

Tomoya: Look here~.It’s not really a playful message or anything like that, so there’s nothing to envy. What’s the matter… What?

Ehh!? There was a mistake in yesterday’s “Shuffle Unit” project announcement…!? I’m a member of another unit!? 

No way… What is this... I was really looking forward to it!

Mitsuru: Eh? What’s this, what do you mean?

Tomoya: The members of Hajime’s “Shuffle Unit” are Hajime, Himemiya, Harukawa and Shiratori, seems like I was included by mistake…

I’m part of a different “Shuffle Unit”.

Mitsuru: Hmm. You were so happy to be with Hajime-chan, it’s really too bad, Tomo-chan~.

Tomoya: That’s true… I really thought I’d be a member of such a peaceful and awesome “Shuffle Unit”.

Nn? And there’s more– They’ve scheduled a meeting for right now!?

What do I do… I’ll let Anzu know I’ll be a bit late…

Mitsuru: Tomo-chan. Leave this to me, you can go to the meeting.

Tomoya: Eh? Are you sure…?

Mitsuru: Of course! After all, I can help with this, but the “Shuffle Unit” is something only Tomo-chan can handle. 

At times like this we need to support each other. So don’t worry about it!

Tomoya: I’m sorry. Thank you, Mitsuru. See you, I’m off!

Mitsuru: Mhm! Take care!

Tomoya: Hurry~ hurry~!

(I think I can actually make it in time even if I don’t hurry!)

(Since this will be our first time together, I’d like to get there as early as possible~. I don’t know who the members are yet…)

Tomoya: (—That reminds me. Anzu didn’t mention anything about the “Shuffle Unit” members in the message.)

(I wonder who’s in that unit with me?)

(Well, I’ll do my best no matter who’s in it. But the members in Hajime’s were so ideal.)

(… And– No, no! If I think like this I’m being rude to the members I’m about to meet!)

(Mm. I’m sure my shuffle’s real members will be able to work together to make the project a success! I'm sure of it!)

( The first impression is the most important part of a meeting. O~kay. Smile, smile… ☆ )

Excu~se me!

Yuzuru: Oh?

Rinne: Hah?

Ibara: …

Tomoya: …

Tomoya: … ‘scuse me, sorry~!

Rinne: Oi, why are you leaving? Come back here!

[1] tomoya is just talking to a faceless npc with no dialogue here . i don't know if this needs to be specified but just in case !

big thank you as always to my co-translator/proofreader @misuzuh, and @yume-fanfare for helping make sure rabits' dialogue doesn't sound too stiff !! i changed my formatting ever so slightly this time around- i'll change old posts to reflect that, later !

#unknown holy night and nighthead #enstars translation #enstars translations #from the doctor's clipboard #rinne amagi #yuzuru fushimi #ibara saegusa #tomoya mashiro #mitsuru tenma

[counselor-the-mentat]

The right way to care (1).

Summary: a little brother takes care of a depressed big sibling.

Word count: ~600.

Lazy Saturday. No will to get out of the bed. Maybe the head was filled with some plans a long ago but not right now. Everything except staring at the ceiling seems exhausting. Being alive by now seems a miracle. But is it actually? Doesn't matter, airheads can't think.

"Hey, sib. Ya 'kay?" the little brother asks, leaning on the doorframe. He's pretty long for his 16 and it's hard to say that he's younger one. He received no response but didn't left. Instead, he sighed heavily and got closer to the bed. Mattress bend under his weight, his arms wrapped around tired body. His hot steady breath tickled the nape of the neck. "Hey, wanna eat? I can fry ya some potatoes. With nice sauce," his long thin fingers brushed against sibling's cheek. "No? Don't be picky. Ya needa eat or ya will turn into a.. hmmm.. a raisin. A little, shrinked raisin, ya hear me?"

No response, tho.

He sighs once more. "I wish ya felt better now, I swear... I wanna my sib back. My dear elder sib who enjoys my barely edible cooking. By the way, I got better at it, so.. maybe ya will give some potatoes a try?.." No response again. It's like talking to a dead. "M'kay, big grumpy. But keep in mind that I won't let you to starve to the death, hear me? I'll force-feed ya if I have to."

He snuggles closer, brushing his nose against sibling's cheek. "When ya used a bathroom last time? Ya know ya needa go pee-pee time to time, right?" His words are met with a sour groan. He understood everything by this simple reaction. "Woah, woah, yeah, c'mon. Ya needa this for sure."

Unhappy groans and whines never saved anyone from being dragged by limbs down the bed. "C'mon, cooperate!" he says, grunting. Once he finally managed to drag the dead-inside body to the bathroom another problem raised — when you pee your bottoms should be down. And the only person that wanted sibling's shorts and underwear down is their little brother who's hands were tagging those down already. "Ouch! Don't slap, I'm helping! I'm helping, ya airhead! C'mon, just your underwear down, I'm not even looking. Do you see me looking? Me neither."

It takes some time to relax in such tense position. But eventually the peeing is done and underwear is on again. "So, was it worth struggling? Huh?" the brother sounds stern but softens just in a moment. "M'kay, let's go back to yer cave, sib."

It's much more lovely in "a cave" than anywhere else. In the soft bed. But nausea from endless laying starts to go up to the throat.. But it's secondary.

"If you stay the same undead by the evening I'll be forced to give you a bath," the brother reminds casually. Well.. maybe there is some problems with lack of movements. Just slightly. Maybe it worth to get up once and wash without any help. The brother was persistent last time, no way something may change his mind.

"Ya make me feel lazy.. I don't wanna leave ya, I gotta make sure ya okay." His hand makes slow circles on sibling's tummy. It's almost magical how everything about him screams that he's the elder one here. Just somehow. "Ya won't kick me out, right? Yeah, of course. Ya have no energy for that. That's why ya trapped with me, sib," he chuckles softly. "Wanna share some sweet dreams?.. Yeah, let's just.. get more comfy here."

He softly takes the tired body in his arms, his embrace is like a safe pillow fort. Nothing can get through this. "Sleep well, sib. You need some good rest," he whispered gently.

#yandere #yandere writing #yandere brother #little brother #yandere f/o #fauxcest #shipcest #soft yandere #depression mention #counselor writes

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 3

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Rei: Umu. I did some research regarding it, and I found that no one in RhythmLink requested that we take part in the experiment.

Koga: Huh? W-whaddya mean!?

Rei: I asked and it seems that it was a machine we spoke with. No real person knows about the experiment— that is the story they are sticking with.

It is unusual for myself to put on a serious face, but this time I feigned total ignorance…

It was rather bold of me, to tell a lie.

Kaoru: Yup. The higher ups thought we were behaving recklessly and were all up in arms about it.

Adonis: Umu. We were flooded with messages asking what HELLSING was.

Koga: I-I’m startin’ to feel kinda scared…

Guess I’m speakin’ with hindsight but we was probably too hasty ‘bout gettin’ involved with a questionable experiment.

Rei: So it seems… We realised we were losing popularity and tried to regain as much control as we could as quickly as we could.

And it all snowballed from there. In reality, I am as much of a fool as I thought I was— I must reflect on this.

Kaoru: You can reflect later, but first we need to focus on the problem at hand.

Rei 2: Eh? Where’s the problem?

Ain’t this turnin’ into a good thing for you guys?

Kaoru: Okay? Fake Rei-kun, can you shut it? We’re having an important conversation right now, alright?

Rei 2: Haha, someone’s in a bad mood~! If your lack of sleep is gettin’ to ya, why dontcha sleep with me, Kaoru-cha~n ♪

Kaoru: Wa, nononono….You’re just being creepy and gross now. Adonis-kun, you deal with him.

Adonis: I’d rather not either. Please don’t pass him to me.

…Despite his appearance, the fake Sakuma-senpai is nothing like him.

As things are now, fake me probably has a different personality too.

Adonis 2: ...

Rei 2: Our recall ain’t perfect yet, ‘n we still got a long way t’go. But hey, we’re still collectin’ data from you as we speak—

Sooner or later​, we’re gonna be so similar to you that even your parents won’t be able t’tell the difference.

Adonis: Is that your purpose?

Rei 2: You oughta be usin’ keigo, kohai. Even though we’re brand new, you still gotta pay respect to us.

Rei: I actually feel rather lonely when someone speaks to me in keigo. It's distant.

Rei 2: You’ve gotten soft, real me.

Well whatever. Becomin’ ‘real’ is instinct, but not our purpose.

We don’t have a sense of purpose.

Like I said earlier, we’re machines, wooden dolls, puppets. We ain’t got a heart, jus’ programmin’.

To feel, to think, to desire—

And dreamin’ too, is an annoyin’ flaw unique to you humans.

Rei: I believe that is what makes humans so fantastic.

We should move on. Questioning these fakes is not worth our time. Let us leave these machines behind and begin exploring the inside of the facilities.

Though it seems they have already disposed of any evidence, perhaps we can locate some documents here and there. Then we can discover why this has taken place.

And before you ask, I have already reported what we know so far to ES and the RhythmLink higher ups, and have been given permission to search the facilities.

Adonis: As always, Sakuma-senpai is fast at covering all his bases.

Rei: That’s one of my strong points. Of course, we are far from experts, and I don’t expect to find much–

But what else can we do in this moment?

Rei 2: Whilst you’re doin’ that, we’ll carry on with idol activities in your place.

Koga: Haa? Get over yourselves, you ain’t real.

The fans are confused ‘cos of you. They don’t wanna see fakes that only look like us from the outside, you bastards.

Rei 2: Confused? But from what I saw, there were a lot of really happy fans?

It’s pretty funny once you realise but–

When fans saw what HELLSING was up to, they was so happy, cryin’ too, goin’ “The real UNDEAD are back!”

Can you guys even afford a detour by checkin’ out the facility?

Whilst you’re worryin’ ‘bout things that don’t matter, we’re replacin’ you ♪

Koga: ...

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #undead climax #rei sakuma #adonis otogari #kaoru hakaze #koga oogami

[llynwen]

hey I saw your tags abt reading the MM book too and I desperately need to hear abt it from more ppl that also shoved it up their ass. Thoughts?

oh brother you have no idea just how many thoughts i have about it.

i really didn't wanna read the book because i knew it was going to make me go insane, but then a friend of mine who i'm trying to force to watch the show (i beg of you martyna. it's so good) decided to get it for me for my birthday.

from the very first few fucking pages i was Perplexed, to put it lightly. i was expecting a light and breezy autobiography with some silly childhood anecdotes and maybe behind the scenes tea about the hollywood crowd. Instead i was served almost 300 pages of trauma dumping, philosophical ruminations and some very TMI info that i wish i never read. i rated this book 5/5 on goodreads btw.

the first thing that really knocked me on my ass was this (i'm ignoring the ketchup story i DON'T want to think about that)

this should've given me an idea about that kind of book this was gonna be. yet i continued on, blindly, thinking, okay maybe he just wanted to get that out there. more power to him. whatever. (not really).

then the motherfuckers starts explaining his little philosophy, the titular green lights, right? and i'm like, yeah. i agree. you're correct. but why did it take you 50 years to figure this out? i'm 24 and i've been living by this very logic for years. Anyways. i continue reading.

now, bro spends half the book trying to convince us his parents were NOT abusive. i disagree. i think he has stockholm syndrome. i hope he's in therapy. i don't wanna think about this either.

now, this is where i started catching on that he was lying to me. i know it took me an embarrassingly long time, but i was giving him the benefit of the doubt. the undead parrot and the 13 story tree house, however, was what made me go Wait A Damn Minute.

yeah, turns out this book isn't a memoir, it's a mix between a magical realism novel, a self help handbook and a philosophical treaty. served to you on really nice paper (i mean Really nice. i appreciate that) with important words in bold, italics or even sometimes in green (which i appreciate even more, since i am tragically dyslexic).

after establishing that all men do is, in fact, lie, i gained a different outlook on the whole thing (i swear i need to read it again, this time in full englit major mode, make some notes and dissect this thing like it's shakespeare).

i like how candid he is about kind of getting lucky with the whole famous thing. he really took that slutty slutty waist and peculiar bone structure of his and said I'm Gonna Make A Career Out Of This. good for him.

he is, however, just a man, and at the end of the day, you can really tell he sees the world through his privilege. the white straight cis christian rich and famous thing kinda sways him into obnoxious territory in some parts, and it had me seething with rage. like, i too would love to go hike through south america because it came to me in a dream. i'd looooove to go visit my favorite unknown artist in a country on the other side of the world. i was half hoping to read about a piranha biting his shlong off when he went skinny dipping in the motherfucking amazon. (un)fortunately, no dice.

the david and goliath story made me chuckle out loud. he makes it Just believable enough to make you think about it. i like being made to think.

the philosophics continue in the form of the single most cursed wall of chicken scratches i ever did see. i sat there, straining my eyes, trying to decipher this shit, and i'm pretty sure he was on something when he wrote it because all of this

could be summed up with "you've gotta leave your comfort zone to learn more about yourself and the world." suck my cock dude.

i Really like how he talks about his wife. but then again, when you look at her, there really isn't any other way of talking about her.

i mean. how the Fuck did his stinky ass pull this goddess. lucky bastard.

now, the 3ish pages where he talks about filming the show (which was the whole reason i even started reading) are criminally underwhelming. i was hoping for a sneak peak into that elusive 450 page manuscript (i will Steal your laptop matthew. watch out), but instead i got a one liner of him being like i wanna play rusty because he's the specialest little girl in the whole entire world and the producers going yeah fine. THAT'S IT. still mad about this, especially because after that he hits you with the love letter to new orleans. i mean be serious. he should Not be allowed to write shit like that.

to summarize, i think he might be a genius, or he might be insane. he is probably both. i want to shove this book up his ass for many reasons, for example him making me learn the names of his kids (i hate knowing things about celebrity kids. leave them out of this) or for making me agree with him. because i do. agree. I don't appreciate his continued efforts to convert me to christianity and i think he's disgustingly obnoxious in some places, but the truth is he has a real cool outlook on a lot of things and i'm very mad that i now respect this bastard for more than his acting skills. i would like to buy him a six pack and listen to him talk about it. i'd love to argue with him, too. i can recommend this book to everybody who feels like they need to experience some psychic damage and maybe an existentialist crisis alongside it. on Very Nice Paper.

#i can never think about lord byron the same #damn you matthew #banger of a read for realsies #ask #matthew mcconaughey

[jessicalprice]

i am emily kaldwin, the most considerate sociopath

(reposted from Twitter) 

Okay, so can we take a moment to acknowledge that MAYBE the reason the world of Dishonored 2 is so fucked up is because they spend all day looking at the incredibly fucked up art on their walls?

Like, here in the parlor we have this quaint sepia-toned memento of the time that Grandpa and all his friends got eaten by a giant squid:

And what art do we keep in the bedroom, you ask? Perhaps a nice soothing floral? Nah, it's the time we encountered a naked yeti or some shit in the forest:

And in this cozy sitting room we have art about getting lost in a hell dimension.

And here in this fine palace we have 

I dunno 

the mothman I guess:

(These details are a big reason I love this game.)

If you don't want to read the news while you're in the W.C., you can gaze on this...

this 

I dunno, maybe this is Dishonored 2 firemen? maybe this is their equivalent of a swimsuit calendar? who knows

Pretty sure I magicked up onto this very ledge like 2 minutes ago--this is their equivalent of those overly flowery hometown pride pics of your local downtown:

Why have an oil painting of some renaissance dude in a ruff when you can have one of an out-of-work mime staring adoringly at a mosquito:

YAY OUR FAIR NOT AT ALL DYSTOPIAN CITY like I think this was from the tourist bureau:

I mean, sure:

You know, having a very normal breakfast next to The Hole:

some people have pictures of tropical birds or wild horses or their pets 

some people have nightmarefish 

here in dishonoredland we only have nightmarefish

takes all kinds to make a world

but I mean all the mirrors look into the abyss instead of showing your reflection so

our fair city pt 2

another thing they like to do with their art is hang paintings of the EXACT ROOM YOU'RE IN, except with no people in it

ok I actually legit want this one

that time when the Flying Dutchman docked here

we do love our undead captains of industry

we are certainly, absolutely, very normal sailors, and not at all The Damned, cursed to rove these wretched seas until we find new souls to take our places

Okay but real talk time:

The name of the game in this, er, game named Dishonored 2 is BODY MANAGEMENT, folks. 

After you take someone out, you gotta hide the body or guards come and also you stress out your citizenry and you're the empress (on the lam) so that's irresponsible of you. Their wellbeing is your responsibility.

And you pretty much have to at least choke everyone out so they don't see you and attack you and also for peace and quiet because if the citizens see you carrying the guards' bodies they start screaming.

The citizens are WAY HAPPIER if they're unconscious.

So you gotta choke them out but like there's all this shit that wants to eat them: bloodflies, rats, probably other people, idk.

So you have to put them somewhere safe once they're unconscious, which usually means up high--

oh btw this game was made by cats, the floor is lava, never walk on the floor when you can climb on shit, you'll die

--so anyway, you've got all these people you've knocked out and you have to put them somewhere safe and it's tidier if you put them all in the same place, also you don't want other people seeing them because seeing bodies stresses your subjects out.

So step one is you gotta find a place to put the unconscious bodies up high and out of sight.

So I found this weird 2nd floor dentist's office with no stairs or anything so the only way you can get up there is by magic, so when they wake up they'll feel safe:

I am such a good empress 

they love me

There are even these bloodfly zombie people called Nest Keepers who are basically walking plague machines but I knocked that guy out too instead of killing him because I am merciful. But the bloodflies killed all these people in that house so there were a ton of bodies that I had to put somewhere.

I mean, no one was going to see them because the house was condemned, but it wasn't tidy.

So I needed to get them out of the house but running all the way down the stairs to carry them one-by-one was a lot of work so I just threw them out the window

and then I heard screaming 

so I guess some people saw them

probably should have choked those people out first, don't want them stressed.

But anyway I tidied up that house (body-wise, anyway--I feel the need to smash everything that's smashable when I leave a place so if I come back I remember that I looted it--but you have to be careful bc sometimes if you smash things near an unconscious person it kills them and you’re their empress and responsible for them so you don’t want that).

So then I went outside and decided to get down to business, putting away the bodies.

But then I found the Nest Keeper and he was dead, so I guess when the normal non-zombie people saw him they freaked out and killed him?

Anyway, so I was luring guards over and choking them out and putting them in the dentist's office so they'd be safe and then I saw this and was like OH SHIT WHAT HAPPENED HERE:

And then I realized those were the dead bodies I'd chucked out of the bloodfly house and maaaaaybe the guard got hit with a dead body and died.

I feel kind of bad.

But anyway, moving on, step 2 is you gotta find a place to put the DEAD bodies because you don't want your citizens seeing them and getting upset, and also it's not very tidy to leave them lying around your city, that's how you get ants.

So I found a very convenient tidy dumpster for the dead bodies:

I felt sorta sad when I put the nest keeper in there.  

sorry, my dude, people can be jerks 

I should have put him in the dentist's office first

or shit maybe it was throwing him out of the window that did him in, but once they're unconscious they're usually pretty bouncy. Like babies.

And I really thought the guard was dead from being hit with dead bodies but as it turned out they'd somehow just knocked him out and I didn't even have to chloroform him or choke him out.

To the dentist's office!

I was carrying this other guard and a guard came at me so I sorta had to chuck the unconscious dude at him which somehow killed them both and I was sad. 

The physics here are a little odd.

Okay and the guards had hanged a bunch of people which, fine, I guess, but the game WILL NOT let you cut the bodies down and it's bothering me because they really need to be taken to Body Stash #2.

This is very untidy.

So anyway, when you smash most things they disappear, so I spent a while cleaning up the city getting rid of all these unwashed dishes and putting all these bodies away.

It's much tidier now, and quiet with everyone unconscious.

No one wants to play video games with me 

which is fine, I guess  

not after Skyrim and my collecting all the brooms and buckets and putting them in the Janitor Closet House

#dishonored 2 #emily kaldwin #jessica plays video games #arkane games #in prey they had those spheres that disintegrated everything in a room #my space station was so tidy #cleaning #minimalism #art #video game art #mothman

[tobiasdrake]

Just about finished with the arena. Only one final trial to undergo. Then it's off to see what else we can find.

This one's serious. Come on, tell me who we're fighting. It's Valtraid, isn't it? It's gotta be Valtraid. Tell me it's Valtraid.

...the Hydralion? It better not be the Hydralion. Serai beat the Hydralion's ass singlehandedly. Well, Resh'an helped. A little.

...though I was disappointed that I didn't get to dole out retribution myself....

Crousta... What the hell is a croustalion?

It just....

It fucking lives right there in the arena?

Alright guys. Level with me. This whole arena shtick is just an elaborate way of trying to find people to remove a building-sized pest that laid claim to some of Brisk's territory while you were rebuilding, isn't it?

This is all theater for "Please someone come kill this fucking crab."

Which. By the way. Yes, I am pissed that the ultimate challenge is more fucking crabs okay. Brisk has crab fever.

Whatever. Let's attack its weak point for massive damage and make B'st happy. I like it when my friends are happy so I guess we'll be eating crab cakes on the Vespertine for a week.

Honestly, there's only one thing to do about a sea monster.

Hey, they said no party limit. No party limit means no party limit.

And now the Vespertine is in port, opening fire on the city of Brisk. We'll just, uh... we'll just hope, for the sake of my reputation, that everyone in town understands the context here.

And also that our cannoneers have really good accuracy.

...

<.< I might be doing a piracy right now. I guess we will just add that to the rap sheet.

Ha! I called it! This whole thing was a scheme just to get someone to deal with this fucking crab.

Just gonna throw this out there but curse, obviously. It was cursed. Then we broke the curse by hitting it really, really hard. The best way to break curses.

D'aww, B'st has a pet! Never mind, this is the best ending to an arena march ever.

SO FUCKING PRECIOUS. I can't deal with how cute that is.

Anyway, B'st and the puppet both seemed to want to go check these places out so I should probably talk to the others.

The Queen That Was, right? Yeah, we can go fuck her up. I told you: Plenty of space for shallow graves in the Cerulean Expanse.

Tactical Story Time.

Yeah, you guys have shared metaphysics. That's why things like Coin of Undeath Accord can work on any sort of undead entity.

...a super lonely ghostie? I suppose that makes sense. Waiting for a long-lost loved one or something is a classic way of becoming a ghost, forever haunting the place they never returned to.

Hold up, we're talking about Roro's arm candy? That Duke Aventry?

This just got way more interesting. Spill.

Looks like we're going to be breaking into Roro's Secret Passage after all. I have absolutely no idea how to do that.

It's fine, though. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see us again. It's been quite a while. You think she remembers me? I hope she remembers me. I'm very memorable.

Been wondering about this thing from the very beginning. Time to find out what the fuck it is.

I like the sound of great power! How do we--

Oh, it's just you again. Sure, we'll kick your ass for weapons of great power.

I don't know how you were expecting this to go. We built that thing when we were fresh out of the academy. Croustalion was pretty tough, but this thing was a walk in the park.

#sea of stars #drake plays sea of stars

[aeoki]

Sandstorm - Prologue

Location: Desert Characters: Hinata & Kaoru Season: Winter Writer: Akira

TL Note:

Paisen is “senpai” (senior/upperclassman) with “sen” and “pai” swapped. It’s seen as a slang/friendly way of using “senpai”.

Chuugoku can either refer to China or the “central region” of Japan, hence the confusion.

ㅤ< Middle of November. “SS” Qualifying Round, Chuugoku region – Tottori desert (tentative name). >

Hinata: I open my eyes in the morning and I’m greeted with the desert.

You’re kidding~ This can’t be possible~ Even someone like little o’ me would get their heart crushed at the sight of this.

No, no! I’ve gotta stay positive! Nothing’s gonna be solved if I stay all negative and gloomy!

You can do it, Hinata! You’ve got this, Hinata! You’ve always overcome any obstacle that’s come your way in the past!

Just team up with Yuuta-kun, combine your skills and–

Wait, Yuuta-kun isn’t hereeeeee! Great~! Dreams? Shattered! Hopes? Gone like the wind! This is the final resting place for “2wink” at “SS”!

Kaoru: Outta the way, outta the way~!

Hinata: Whahoo!?

Hey, that’s dangerous, Hakaze-paisen[*]! I can’t believe you’d come crashing into me on a surfboar–

Wait, it’s Hakaze-senpaaaai ☆

I like Hakaze-senpai! A lot!

Kaoru: Why’re you breaking up your sentences? The way you’re speaking and stuff is kinda weird. You okay? Let’s take some deep breaths, yeah?

Hinata: Well, anyone would act like this if they were suddenly thrown into the desert!

If anything, don’t you think I’m more on the calm side? Isn’t that amazing? Normally, other people would be way more confused, you know?

Kaoru: Huh? Uhh, you’re Hinata, right?

Hinata: Yup! That’s me! What do I like? Yuuta-kun! What do I hate? Spicy stuff! That’s our official setup!

Kaoru: Okay. Anyway, I’m guessing you haven’t gotten an explanation about what’s going on here?

Hinata: Huh? Is it weird that I haven’t…?

Kaoru: No, not really. Hinata-kun, you haven’t met anyone else, right?

Hinata: Yeah! You were the first person I came across after waking up! I think I’d fall in love with you if I was Sleeping Beauty!

Kaoru: But I didn’t even kiss you?

Hmm~ Okay, I think I get it.

I was also pretty shocked to find myself in the desert after waking up in the morning, but I came across some other idols before meeting you, Hinata-kun.

Hinata: Other idols? Wait, you mean the other idols who were sent out to the Chuugoku region too, right?

Kaoru: Yeah. I don’t particularly care but it’s hard to tell whether you’re in the Chuugoku country[*] or the region just by its name.

No wait, “SS” is a national event so it’s obvious it’ll be taking place in Japan, huh.

Well, putting that aside, as you probably know, there are a lot of powerhouse idols among the ones that have been sent to this region.

A lot of the local idols participated in last year’s “SS” and ES has sent some of their powerhouse idols too. Probably as competition.

Hinata: Yeah~...

“UNDEAD” is a powerhouse unit so you guys have a good chance at winning, though. I was crying about it with Yuuta-kun thinking how our luck hit rock bottom.

And here we thought we could produce some pretty good results in “SS” and surprise the public. We even went into the mountains to train~

Kaoru: Why the mountains? Wait, Adonis-kun and Souma-kun also tend to head into the mountains sometimes too, though.

Anyway, all the strong idols I’ve come across have been trying to pick a fight with me.

I thought I could laugh it off and change their mind about it, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Hinata: Really~? That’s rough. Sounds like a Pokemon battle took place?

Kaoru: A Pokemon battle didn’t happen but they kept pestering me.

Well, they wouldn’t listen to me but they gave me an explanation on some things, so I’ve got a pretty good gist of what’s currently happening.

So right now, that’s probably why I’m calmer than you, Hinata-kun.

Hinata: Ohh, a blessing in disguise!

Kaoru: Yeah. I think I’ve also gotten the short end of the stick, though~ Looks like good things come to you if you live life earnestly.

So…

Hinata: ? Hakaze-paisen, why’re you slowly inching closer towards me? You’ve got a scary expression on your face.

Kaoru: It really looks like I’ve lucked out today…♪

Hinata: Huh…? What…?

Kaoru: It means I can easily get “Desert Coins” from the kids who haven’t understood the rules yet…♪

Hinata: Whaaat!? What’s a “Desert Coin”?

Kaoru: Well, actually, that’s just what I call it. They’re coins you can get from the desert, so a “Desert Coin” ♪

Hinata: Yeah so why are we in the desert!?

Kaoru: Well, you should be able to find out on your own sooner or later.

Hinata: NOOOOOO! I thought I landed on a spot on the board where a kind senior explains things to me, but I’m just getting into a tough spot one after the other…!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNext Chapter →

#sandstorm #enstars translation

[grailfinders]

Fate & Phantasms #312: Faerie Knight Lancelot

Today on Fate & Phantasms, we’re building the last of the faerie knights, Faerie Knight Lancelot, a.k.a. Melusine. she’s got an unusual fighting style, but it’s nothing too wild. now I just gotta look at her third skill, and- oh. oh no.

we’ll… figure out a way to make it work.

she’s an Ascendant Dragon Monk to turn into a living jet, and a War Cleric to keep that speed up even while wearing heavy armor. and the giant tum-tum laser.

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet here!

next up: lemme take a selfie

Race & Background

Melusine is a faerie, but she’s also half dragon. that does all sorts of fun stuff to her existence, so we’ll make her a Custom Lineage instead. that could be anything, it could even be a faerie- that’s what Melusine is!

as a custom lineage, she gets +2 Dexterity, a small size since she’s a compact combatant, and the Mobile feat for extra speed event in first ascension, as well as the ability to prevent opportunity attacks from opponents you’ve tried to attack this turn. life goes fast, and so do you.

Melusine also gets a little Darkvision thanks to her special faerie eyes.

like every other faerie knight so far, Melusine is a Knight of the Order. that means she gets proficiency in Persuasion bc dragons are naturally charismatic, and Nature to know what a dragon even is.

Ability Scores

first up is Dexterity. I know that doesn’t actually control speed at all, but it powers your fists and your sword…fist…things. we’re calling them shortswords. after that, Wisdom. it powers your noble phantasm, so it has to be pretty good, all things considered. third up is Constitution, dragons wouldn’t be half the game’s title if they were easy to kill. and I know we don’t need Strength, but we need the other stuff less. like Intelligence! you grew up by yourself, so you probably didn’t get tutored much. finally, dump Charisma. you are doomed to die alone; it’s engraved into your spirit core. sorry.

Class Levels

1. Cleric 1: your first ascension uses actual armor, so we’re starting as a War Cleric so you’ll have proficiency with martial weapons and heavy armor. we’re mostly just doing this for the spell list, but the fact that you can flavor this choice as being a priest of bahamut is just a nice coincidence. another nice coincidence is that as a war cleric you are a War Priest, letting you make a bonus action attack a couple times a day. we’ll get an upgrade for this real soon, but this one always works, regardless of how you’re dressed.

as a cleric you also get proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as History and Insight.

as previously implied, you also get Spells, which you cast and prepare using your Wisdom as the baseline. since you can swap your spells every day picking the perfect spell list isn’t that necessary, which is nice since the only one I really want this level is Inflict Wounds. it inflicts wounds. as a war cleric, you also get to grab Divine Favor and Shield of Faith for free, the former giving you a little bit of radiance in your attacks and the latter adding +2 to your AC for up to 10 minutes, which will pair nicely with your unarmored defense. oh wait that’s a spoiler.

2. Monk 1: okay now it’s not. as a monk you get Unarmored Defense, adding your wisdom to your AC as long as you’re not wearing armor. obviously, as the name suggests this only works when not wearing armor. you also gain Martial Arts, letting you use dexterity instead of strength when using monk weapons, you do at least a d4 of damage, and you can make a bonus action unarmed attack each turn for free. this too only works when unarmored, so… I guess this is kind of a dead level rn. having the variety is nice though.

3. Cleric 2: second level clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest in one of two flavors. Turn Undead certainly exists, and making crowds of zombie run away is fun, but we’re here for the Guided Strikes. when you make an attack roll you can add 10 to the roll without spending an action- this is basically your first NP. not a ton of damage, but it always hits.

4. Monk 2: second level monks get Unarmored Movement, increasing your speed by 10’ and growing as you level up… as long as you aren’t wearing armor. I promise some of these features will be actually usable soon.

like now. you also get your level in Ki points each short rest, which you can spend on cool dragon stuff, like attacking twice as a bonus action, dodging as a bonus action, or disengaging/dashing as a bonus action while doubling your jump distance. all of these can be done without doffing your armor. hoo ray.

5. Monk 3: at level three you become an Ascendant Dragon, allowing you to use the Breath of the Dragon to roast anything around you. sadly, we can’t get radiant damage this way, but fire is pretty close. you substitute one attack with either a cone or line of energy, forcing a dexterity save on all creatures in that area, and dealing 2 martial arts dice of damage.

you’re also a Draconic Disciple helping you pass one intimidation or persuasion check per day, and you can make Draconic Strikes to supplement your unarmed attacks with elemental damage, even if you’re only dealing 1+ your strength while armored up. you also learn Draconic! it’s a language.

(also as a third level monk you can Deflect Missiles as a reaction and throw them back at people. lancers are strong against archers, after all.)

6. Monk 4: fourth level monks get their first Ability Score Improvement, so bump up your Wisdom for stronger spells and higher saves on your monk abilities. you can’t fly yet, but you can Slow Fall, reducing falling damage as a reaction. you also gain Quickened Healing, letting you spend an action to heal yourself using ki. once again, dragons don’t die easily.

7. Monk 5: fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each action, and their martial arts die grows a size, and I mean, by this point you’ve probably ascended at least once, right? yeah probably. go nuts. you can also turn your melee attacks into Stunning Strikes, trivializing any boss you come across who is bad at constitution saves. you can also spend ki on your Focused Aim, adding 2 to the attack roll for every point spent, up to a total of +6. so now if you want to hit someone, the absolute lowest you can roll (barring a natural one) is 21. I’m pretty sure you’re better at gae bolg-ing than Cu is at this point.

8. Monk 6: at level six, your Ki-Empowered Strikes make your unarmed attacks magical against resistances, though your dragon fists kind of solved that problem already. you can also use Wings Unfurled to fly for a turn a couple times per day, after using your step of the wind.

9. Monk 7: seventh level monks get the ever-popular Evasion, basically turning any dexterity save you have to do into a complete joke. you also gain a Stillness of Mind, so you effectively can’t be charmed or frightened for more than a turn or two.

10. Monk 8: at level eight, you can use your next ASI to round up both your Dexterity and Constitution for a stronger offense and defense. remember, HP is affected retroactively, so you gain a whole ten extra points of HP this level!

11. Monk 9: ninth level monks get an Unarmored Movement Improvement, letting you run up walls and over water as long as you end the turn somewhere solid. weirdly enough, this doesn’t care about your armor either! you won’t move that fast until you doff, but you can still run up sheer surfaces just fine. #justmonkthings

12. Monk 10: tenth level monks have a Purity of Body that makes them impossible to fall ill or be poisoned. you ever see a dragon with a cold? no, no you haven’t.

13. Cleric 3: Okay, so you’re draconic enough to fly, now we just need a big ol’ belly laser. easy. maybe even peasy, some would say.

going back to cleric gives you access to second level spells. you get Spiritual Weapon for free if you’d like to have a bonus action attack that isn’t limited by proficiency or outfit, and you can also turn one of your swords into a Magical Weapon so it can cut through enemies as well as your fists can… cut… don’t worry about it.

as for spells you choose to have, I suggest picking up Aid to improve your HP total, and Hold Person to destroy your opponents’.

14. Cleric 4: bump up your Wisdom again. we’re really only focusing on one spell, but it’s your noble phantasm, so it better be good. also grab Toll the Dead while we’re here, why not.

15. Cleric 5: at fifth level clerics can Destroy Undead if they’re CR ½ or lower and they fail their turn undead save. you also get third level spells. Crusader’s Mantle gives that sweet sweet divine favor to the whole party as long as they stick close, and Spirit Guardians will lock down an area with a glowy dragon, I guess.

this is another level we only really care about one spell in, so pick up Spirit Shroud to finally have a decent amount of radiance coming from your swords. now any close-range attack you make gets a little extra boost, and you prevent healing and movement for enemies in your area.

16. Cleric 6: sixth level clerics can channel divinity twice a short rest, and you can channel that divinity into a War God’s Blessing, giving any player that +10 bonus to an attack as a reaction. I wouldn’t, but you do you. just saying, faeries aren’t known for their helpfulness.

17. Cleric 7: seventh level clerics get fourth level spells. Freedom of Movement is what I really care about, since it keeps you from getting your jet engines grounded, but you can also use Stoneskin for a scalier hide, if you so desire.

18. Cleric 8: with your last ASI, grab the Tough feat for an extra 36 HP now, plus another 2 every time you level up from here on out. you also destroy undead of CR 1 or lower, and you can make a Divine Strike once per turn, adding more damage of a type your weapon’s already doing. if you’re only focusing on making one attack hit, it better do extra damage.

19. Cleric 9: your fifth level spells are not ones to be slept on. Hold Monster is just as strong as hold person is for a melee-based fighter, and Flame Strike is your third stage NP- a giant flaming laser from heaven that’ll wipe out anything in its way.

you can also pick up Holy Weapon if you want to mix your two NPs together. first you deal extra damage with a radiant sword, then you detonate it for an aoe.

20. Monk 11: our final level of the build takes you back into monk to gain the Aspect of the Wyrm. you can activate this as a bonus action, creating a 10’ aura around you. for a minute, it either lets you frighten creatures within if they fail a wisdom save, or you and allies in the aura gain resistance to one elemental damage type.

your martial arts dice also grow to d8s this level, and your dragon breath deals 3d8 as well.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

you’re mobile, with a walking speed that matches most characters’ sprinting speeds and the ability to fly, which is always great. you get damage where it needs to go.

you’re also super versatile. I know we skimmed over the cleric spells since they’re not in-character, but cleric has one of the best spell lists in the game. and even ignoring all the cleric’s healing and buff/debuff spells, you’ve still got tons of damage variety and multiple attack options to keep things interesting.

you also deal consistent damage, with a ton of attacks in a short time as well as ways to make those attacks really count. you can usually attack 3-4 times a turn, and with a spell like Divine Favor or Spirit Shroud up you can pump out some juicy damage in a variety of flavors. mostly radiant, but that’s in character anyway.

Cons:

we’re trying to mix the no armor class with the heavy armor class. while donning and doffing armor is both in-character and frankly not terrible for the build, it’s still rough that your armor basically gives you a dead level immediately at the start of the game. still, the only thing you really miss out on is some speed and your martial arts attacks (just use two swords). also- donning and doffing armor takes forever, so don’t expect to bust out of it mid-combat.

you also have a lot of stuff you can only do in your Bonus Action, so figuring out what to prioritize could be tricky. as stated above, your damage relies on your bonus action attacks to help both with consistency and total amount of damage. if you use your bonus action for mobility or spellcasting, your DPS will drop noticeably.

you have low charisma, which means you won’t be popular with the nobles and you’re likely to get yeeted to another dimension. still, you know when this con shows up in a build it’s pretty solid stuff. just try to avoid being sent to another plaen, or you’ll have plenty of alone time to think about what you’ve done.

#fgo #fate grand order #D&D 5e #DND #Melusine #Cleric #Monk

[thethistlegirlwrites]

♔ : Finding the other wearing their clothes

♜: Shoulder rubs

♥: Reacting to the other one crying about something

♦: Slow dancing

For Sierra and Shay (you know why I sent that last one 😉)

Ah my precious human (and non-human) dumpster fire disasters I love them dearly and I know you do too... they got long so once again they're below the cut!

"Is that my sweatshirt?"

"Correction. Our sweatshirt," Sierra replies.

"I didn't realize communal property extended to my clothes."

"I did the laundry this week, so yeah."

"No fair. I can't steal your stuff on my week."

"You could, but it would be kind of funny." She chuckles at the thought of Shay in one of her t-shirts; it would look like a crop top on him.

Between her chronically broke bank account and landlords' (unfortunately still fully legal) refusals to take on a vampire with a criminal record as a tenant, she and Shay had finally decided the most practical option was sharing her place. A one-bedroom apartment isn't a lot of room for two people, but with a coffin of home earth replacing the dilapidated college-purchase futon in the living room, they're making it work.

They're splitting the rent fifty-fifty, Sierra buys food (as the only one who actually needs it) and Shay takes care of utilities. They trade off on the chores. Pete made them a literal actual chore chart for the fridge.

He sure does love his spreadsheets.

"Well, I'm not going to fight you for it," Shay says, grinning and reaching past her to the blood shelf in the fridge.

"I'd hate to have to reset the 'Days Without Incident' board," Sierra says. They literally have one of those too, courtesy of her and Shay's tendency to ruffle each other's feathers and say things that set the other off. If they make it to seven days, it's cause for celebration.

'We haven't murdered each other yet' seems like a pretty low bar for roommates, but Sierra thinks that in this case, it's actually a pretty good one. They're living (or maybe undead, in Shay's case) proof that humans and vampires can co-exist.

And in a world where that's becoming increasingly important to prove, 'we survived another day together' might be one of the most valuable statistics they have.

She's pretty sure, somewhere, Pete has all of this on a spreadsheet. ... "Isn't it a little weird to be visiting a graveyard after hours?" Pete asks, glancing behind them at the chained gate.

"Well, I sort of wanted you all to meet him, and Shay can only come at night. Besides, unless they've changed their tactics a lot in the past couple years almost no one patrols this place. My high school friends and I used to come out here when we wanted to be sure no one would catch us drinking or smoking." She shrugs. "Now it feels kinda weird knowing I could have been sitting on my dad's headstone that time Javy convinced me to try my first cigarette."

Shay laughs, a sort of harsh sound that echoes off the stones. "Okay, you have to admit, that is pretty funny."

Sierra stops in front of a rough-cut, unassuming stone. It's probably from the ranch; her dad was the first generation not allowed to be buried in the family plot on their own land, but his family clearly wanted to leave a piece of his home with them.

It's like some inverted theory of home earth. Sierra kneels down, tracing the letters cut into the stone.

"Hey dad. It's me again. I brought friends this time. Well, better friends than I used to bring." She swallows, feeling warmth running down her night-chilled cheeks. "This is Pete, and this is Shay. Pete's my hunting partner. And Shay's a vampire but I think you might have liked him." She shrugs. "If it counts for anything, your brother doesn't actively hate him."

It's supposed to come out as a laugh, but it's more of a choked sob. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Stoker. Gotta say, you've got an awfully nice grave. Take it from someone that means something to." Shay lays a hand on top of the headstone, and this time, Sierra does laugh.

She knows what he's doing, but she doesn't mind. She'd rather laugh than cry, she thinks her dad would approve.

Pete just shuffles, clearly not as comfortable with the whole joking in the presence of the actual dead thing, but he takes a sprig of mesquite bush he'd found on the ranch earlier and lays it on top of the stone, tied around with a thin bit of red string. Apparently that's something from his family.

"Okay. We have two more to visit before we leave." Sierra leads the way to a pair of low graves with simple small stones at the heads, in a weedy, neglected corner.

"Who's here?" Pete asks.

"These were the graves of the vampires I staked." Sierra traces a finger over the stones. "When they died in a gang war, they were unclaimed and ended up buried here." Their ashes are scattered somewhere in the desert now, but it still means something to her to see the place they should have been laid to rest.

"Most hunters believe, on some level at least, that killing a vampire is simply freeing their soul. Like those stories about ghosts who are only trapped because they have unfinished business, and solving it helps them cross over." Sierra says. "But I didn't know that then. I didn't care about giving them peace, or freeing them. I just wanted them dead because I thought they were monsters."

"So what do you think? Am I a tortured soul you're doing a disservice to by letting me live?" Shay smiles a bit, fangs showing. "Would we both be better off if you freed me?"

"I think you could say the same thing to justify killing a human," Sierra replies. "As long as this life is what you want, I have no right to take it from you."

Pete taps Sierra on the shoulder and then points toward the entrance. "Lights."

He's right, a car is coming, and the way the road curves is going to send those lights right over all three of them.

"Okay, let's get out of here." ... Sierra parks in the lot of the library and glances at her passenger. The sun has been down for at least an hour, but Shay still looks nervous about getting out of the car.

"You still want to do this?"

He just nods.

Cody has been supplementing the LAPL's "Human Library Books" program with his suggestion of "(Non) Human Library" since they got the event off the ground. Robin's gone to almost all of them. Uncle John says Emma has gone a few times, when the events are in the evening late enough for her to feel comfortable going out but early enough she doesn't have to run her club.

But it's Shay's first time.

"I'm pretty sure half of the agency's going to be here. If anyone tries to harass you or pull something we'll deal with it." She's heard stories of people 'checking out' vampires only to try and poison them with garlic or expose them to UV light. There's a security process now, to make sure they're not carrying stakes or any other harmful items, but that doesn't mean someone can't get disturbingly creative.

"I'm not worried about that." He shrugs. "I just...I don't usually tell people about my past. Before I turned. They either pity me or start looking at me like somehow being an addict was worst than being a vampire." He tugs at the cuff of a sleeve. "If they ask what it's like to be me now, I can answer anything, but if they ask how it happened or what that was like..."

Sierra reaches across the car to rest her hands on his shoulders. The tension in his muscles is vibrating like an idling engine, and she rubs her thumbs into the back of his neck, hoping to ease it.

"You told me. And Pete."

"Yeah."

"And we don't treat you any different."

"Well, to be fair, I don't think it was going to get worse than handcuffed in the back seat of a Camaro."

"You are never going to let that one go, are you?"

He laughs. Halfhearted, but still real. "Nope."

"My point is, the people coming here, if they're being genuine, want to understand other people. They're not coming here to judge you. They're coming to learn what it's like to be you."

"Okay." He opens the car door. "Maybe you're right. I mean, I got to ride up front this time."

Sierra slaps his shoulder. "Okay, go on, get out of my car. I'm right behind you." ... "I don't think I fully realized what finding out I was a Stoker was going to involve," Sierra mutters, tugging at the flowing skirt of her gala dress. "Apparently I'm expected to represent my family name by showing up to this shindig in an evening gown." 

"Well, you are basically ribbon-cutting this program," Pete says, adjusting his own tie. "It was your idea."

"I threw it at Maira and ran out her door. Figuratively. I had nothing to do with the past two years." She swishes the extravagant skirt around her ankles. It's not terrible, it's only ankle length and the slit side allows her both freedom of movement and access to the stake holster on her thigh, but she still doesn't have to like it. "They just want me here because I'm the legacy name with a connection to it. I'm going to trip over this thing and make a fool of myself."

"Well, that would certainly liven things up around here," Shay says.  "Stop it." Sierra slaps his arm gently. 

"Okay, go on, they're waiting for you." Pete says, tapping her arm and pointing her toward the stage.

She doesn't trip on anything, or mix up the notecards on the podium, but she's still glad when her speech is over and the actual party gets started. Even if she's not much for the dancing that picks up once dinner is over.

At least John convinced their DJ to include some Tejano in the mix. If she closes her eyes she can almost see her parents dancing to it playing on the Camaro's radio, in some empty field.

She's still in her seat, watching Pete tripping over his own feet trying to keep up with Saanvi, one of his fellow forensic accountants, when Shay pushes his own chair back from the table, stands up, and holds out his hand. "Would you like to dance?"

"Do you know how?"

"Do you?"

"Fair point. I know line dancing." Sierra motions to the room full of people. "And this is not it."

"Then it's perfect. Neither of us knows what we're doing and I think we're both coordinated enough to avoid stomping each other's feet." 

The current song ends just as they step out onto the floor, and the new one is slower and softer. Sierra curses under her breath. She could fake her way through something high energy and upbeat. She's not good at calm and graceful.

She settles for sort of leaning into Shay's arm and swaying, moving incrementally like she's trying to keep the floor from creaking under her shoes.

It's actually not terrible, once she catches onto the rhythm and the music's tone, and eventually, as it grows louder and stronger, her steps gain confidence, until by the last few powerful notes she feels confident enough to spin out to the end of their connected grip and then whirl back to finish the song how they started, leaning against each other but not quite touching.

She looks up, wiping back an errant strand of hair that's escaped her neat bun, to see there's a circle of several feet of space all around them and most of the other people on the floor have stopped dancing.

Shay seems to have realized the same thing.

"Are they all watching us?"

"A vampire and a Stoker sharing the dance floor, as partners no less. This is probably real life 'Beauty and the Beast' to them," Sierra says.  Shay chuckles, and Sierra leans into his shoulder as the song ends.

#asks #compass #sierra aguirre-stoker #shane barrett #pete jemison #I love them so much

[fountainpenguin]

"You pretty pups all over the city, I have your hearts and you have my pity..."

---

New Dog's Life chapter today!

Chapter 3 - “Flicker (BigB)”

Read on AO3

Start from Chapter 1

---

Having a reputation as a cheater and backs̵͙̞͙͊̋̄̇͆̑̚t̶̟̝͔̝͕̦̫͂͒͆͋̄͜ȃ̴̞̺̱̝̬́͂͗̐́̿̂̄̇̈̇̕͜͝͝bber doesn't do you many favors, ḙ̴̢̼͎̝̫̣̥̓͝͝ͅspecially whĕ̵̓̀̍̕̕͠͠ͅn this season assigns you a player to target right from the start. What's a coo̸̥͎͍̞͛͜ͅḵ̸̠̠̗͓̗̂̃͘í̴̛̖͇̿̊̅̅̅͗͜ĕ̵̓̀̍̕̕͠͠ͅ man to

What's a cookiĕ̵̓̀̍̕̕͠͠ͅ man

Whȃ̴̞̺̱̝̬́͂͗̐́̿̂̄̇̈̇̕͜͝͝t's

[You've be̴̢̗̰͠e̷̢͉̩̠̞̮̓̃́́͛͝n̴̠̥̎̒͠͝ disconn̴̡͑͋̉͌͑̈́̔̎̍́͘̚͘͝ẹ̷̭̠̲̹̘̈̑̾̓͊̕ͅcted from t̵̡̠͚̬̘͖͚̽̅͂͜h̶̲̼͔͂́͗̓͒͊͌̽̿͜͠e̷̢͉̩̠̞̮̓̃́́͛͝ server]

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

Bigbst4tz2 - Player

Quarry: impulseSV

Hunter: Unknown

💚  💛  ❤️

BigB would not, by any stretch of the imagination, describe himself as “loving to kill zombies.” Who does? There’s something about their faces, man… Zombies generate with familiar faces and ragged clothes they pick from your memories, which makes them so, so much creepier than villagers are. Cleo’s okay. BigB doesn’t mind them so much… Just the random ones that generate looking like his undead friends. So he stands above the hole, hands locked behind his back, as Etho, Tango, and Ren yelp and tumble over themselves. They’re fighting a zombie spawner in the dark. The snarls are horrendous. No wonder spawn’s so loud; the thing was right under their feet.

“I’m open, I’m- I’m open,” he calls down, lifting his voice above Tango’s shrieking giggles (Etho’s practically in tears, almost doubled over laughing). BigB’s not sure why they’re laughing, but… Even if he doesn’t love wiping trace bits of rotten flesh off his sword, he can still help. Not sure how, but there’s gotta be something he can do. When there’s room to jump down. The ragtag trio (all of whom are zombies themselves now) are pulling each other down like crabs as they try to get up the stairs.

“Pleeeeeaaaase,” Etho whisper-wails from the darkness. “Someone throw a torch at me… No-o-o-o…” 

He’s laughing. They’re all laughing in that giggly way you do when you’re stressed out of your mind and just plain nervous about it. BigB takes one step down the stairs. The top of Etho’s spiky white hair is luminescent, reflecting Tango’s flaming curls like the moon reflects the sun. His gloved hands (fingers green; super creepy; Etho’s got zombie traits now) curl against the blocks above him. He tries to widen the gap so they can all squeeze through, but he’s too distracted by the zombie gnawing on his ankle to channel the right kind of energy. Yeah. So instead of digging up the block, Etho triggers a shower of loose dirt to tumble in his hair. Ren coughs, ducking out of the way. Zombie grunting noises bubble in the night. BigB grimaces. He’d like to help, but no one has coal and Cleo took their only torch.

He checks over his shoulder. In the distance, on the edge of the cliff overlooking the river, Scar and Bdubs are talking, heads bowed. Are they joining forces or something? Scar’s got his cloak hood up, hands gripping tight. The hood is white, but other than that, he’s dressed head to toe in different shades of green. In the dark, he almost blends in with the grass. Bdubs has his arms crossed, shaking his head over and over. He looks like he’s saying “No, no��� a bunch of times, while Scar persists. Should he call them over? It might not do much good. From the sound of it, the problem down below is “not enough room to maneuver.” The last thing you want to do is throw more people in that hole. 

Inhale. BigB leans forward, gripping his knees. “I can’t- I can’t come down there, man. What can I do to help?”

“Dig the block!” Tango shouts, pressing at them from the back of the group. BigB can hear the repeated grunts of zombies falling backwards as Tango slashes at them. “Widen the gap!”

He didn’t craft a shovel. Should he? Maybe just a wooden one. BigB slaps his crafting table down again, throwing the sticks across its surface like he’s dealing cards. In a flash of white light, he’s got the shovel in hand. BigB shoves it in the dirt and braces his foot on the back. With one stomp, he slices through the dirt block. It plops down in a tiny cube, straight on Etho’s head.

“New sword!” Etho yells up, cupping his hands around his masked mouth. His eyes are darting; BigB can read him like a recipe book, mask or not. Etho won’t ditch his friends if he can help it. “Tango, Tango… Oh, I don’t know about this, man, oh-hoh… No-o-o… Why do we put ourselves in situations, Ren?”

“Because we’re professional Minecrafters, dude!”

“Hey, professional,” Tango snickers at him, “you’re about to get first death of the season by a zombie.”

That gets a chuckle out of Etho. BigB throws down a wooden sword, which Etho catches in a spin of his hand. “Oh, you will never live that down, Ren.”

“Says the ancient guy who’s all washed-up, right, right… He’d know.”

Etho catches BigB’s eyes and then rolls his. Turning back to the zombies, he draws his sword again. “Tango, my patience runs thick, but not thick enough, man… Leave that stuff in Limited Life where it belongs.”

BigB pushes his shovel through the dirt again, scooping up another block. Most of it tumbles off, reforming in a pick-up-able block that plops into Etho’s inventory, but a few brown dots and grass strands cling to the edge. A pink worm wiggles in the soil. He tilts it off in the grass. Down below, Tango, Ren, and Etho fling words at each other, ribbing playfully about how stupid it was to rush down to the spawner without a light source. It sounds like there are still five or six zombies bearing down on them. BigB chews his bottom lip, switching out the shovel for his sword. The spawner’s just a few blocks off the edge of bedrock spawn. A huge clutch of zombies probably built up while Grian was explaining the rules.

“I’m out, man, I’m out!” Etho calls, backing up the stairs. One boot slips; he catches himself on the wall with one hand. “Drop it like it’s lava, Ren! We gotta get outta here.”

“I’m with you!” That’s Tango. “I got buckets for days! Days!”

Etho turns, leaping up the stairs in a way that bashes his head on every block. Tango scrambles after him on all fours. Last is Ren, shouting “Farewell, my peeps! You’ve been a beautiful audience tonight!” before ducking out with a flourish. He slams a dirt block down at the bottom of the stairs, then leans back to wipe his forehead. BigB can see a little bit of “bone” poking through his rotting flesh. He takes a step sideways. This sends a trickle of dirt into the hole. Ren glances up at him. His smile breaks into a grin; his dog ears prick up. His little tail starts wagging.

“BigB, my man!”

Okay. Here we go.

BigB lifts his hand to wave, rolling a “Heeeeyyy!” off his tongue that can be interpreted as anything, really… “Ren! How are you? It’s been a while since we talked.”

“I am super, my friend; I’m really, really super.”

“Well, you look good, you know?”

“Thank you, dude; that’s so nice of you to say. I really appreciate that, actually.” His tail stills; Ren links his fingers and stretches them out in front of him, then tilts them up and over his head. “Did you see how many zombies we just took down in there? They were going for my feetsies, man! My poor, innocent feetsies!”

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

#mcyt #trafficblr #BigB #TangoTek #EthosLab #Renthedog #Oh you guys wanted a normal fic? Yeah we don't do that here #BigB channels such 'I will follow you like a moth to flame but if you perceive me I will actually die' vibes and I respect that #I drew BigB and Scar on the same page and couldn't crop without it looking off so you get the transparent version #Dog's Life #traffic life smp #glitch text #zalgo text #ridwriting #apparently art #GoodTimesWithScar #Grian #Pixels Imperfect #Jawww drop! Heeeart stop! #bigbst4tz2 #fic announcement #Dog's Life art

[fennel-tea]

just gonna lob some projmoon balls at you: binah/hod, ayin/angela, hod/yesod, yesod/netzach, and uh...binah/angela. 🗿

[rubs evil little hands together] aight lets fuckinnnn go

Binah/Hod - A+ OTP

I've basically already drawn a tongue-in-cheek manifesto of sorts as to why I like them, but.

Peak messy yuri. Morally Bankrupt Ex-Fed/Outwardly Sweet Virtue Signaller. I love. I love. It started as a curious thing I ran into on Ao3 once or twice (shoutouts to the people writing Binah/Hod and Garion/Michelle out there I owe you my life) and then gradually just completely took over my brain

general feelings on why I love it:

It's the contrast of someone who desperately wants to be seen as a good person for...reasons that are not entirely selfless! who frankly kind of sucks at accomplishing that and is (circa LC) so self-absorbed that until her core suppression leadup she can't even acknowledge it (side note: Hod Sucks is the reason I fell for her in the first place because she is...not a character type I'm normally into!)

vs. someone who choked down any sort of regrets and anxieties she might've even thought of having ages ago, who is a walking moral nightmare of a human, who openly tells you to your face that the only thing that really gets her going is human suffering.

Binah is unquestionably Worse but Hod is wayyyyy more fucked up about it. Binah doesn't actually care about whether or not Hod is a good person or not but is locked in a basement and bored as shit and would be happy to study this neurotic little undead scientist in her own personal petri dish to see what happens. Meanwhile Hod is the kind of person who Will Not Stop prodding at people she doesn't understand, especially if she thinks its for her own benefit, and Binah is a cryptic rubix cube of darkness. I like it for the same reasons I like Hannigram. It's just Yuri Hannigram.

It's a rarepair. It's not healthy. It's not safe or sane. But it IS fun and I'll pilot this ship with my own two hands if I gotta

Ayin/Angela - A

Ohhhh this one is a mess. You ever just make a clone of your dead colleague who you were probably sort of definitely in love with (and give her noticeably bigger tits to boot—holy shit, Ayin), force her to read off a rigid script for the next several millennia, and then refuse to even look at her despite her inherited feelings for you?

This one also falls under Tasty Parallels for me just because. They are both very hurt people who deal with that pain incredibly poorly and proceed to spend an entire game making it everyone's problem and I love them for it. I think this ship is a beautiful downward spiral of love and hate. Also the way Angela post-haircut looks more like Ayin than she does Carmen is [chef's kiss].

Also, please look at this fanart because it lives in my head rent-free.

Hod/Yesod - C

I never actually considered this one outside of an Asiyah Disaster Polycule until you mentioned it honestly but I can dig it! I can get behind it! I think Hod could make him Worse

Yesod/Netzach - C

Generally neutral-to-favorable, it's not a ship I actively seek out but I pretty much always enjoy it when someone puts it on my plate.

Binah/Angela - D/E okay i know i know let me explain

It's uh, definitely not for lack of trying! Objectively speaking, it's a good ship, it's got legs, it's got tons of content and if you're a fan you won't go hungry in the slightest

but I just....can't get into it.

Some of it is just the ship not clicking with me for whatever reason but I think a big part of it is that—unfortunately—my first couple exposures to it were via people being weirdly sanctimonious about it in a "ship this it's the only healthy option for either of these characters" kind of way

which causes the nasty little spitebeast in me to immediately recoil, also uh...healthy? Hello?

Binah's involvement alone injects a solid hit of questionable powerplay and General Freak Shit into basically any ship she's a part of, Angela totally sucks (I say this with unfathomable amounts of affection), both of them are a highly questionable mess at best. I also personally think a lot of fanworks tend to really file off both characters' edges in favor of something more palatable, which I'm personally really not into.

Unfortunately for me it's the most popular f/f ship in the fandom by leaps and bounds, so like, no shade at all if you're into it, I support your fun! I just can't join you sorry orz. Some of the art is nice tho

#Ask! #ciitrinitas #ship opinions #lobcorp spoilers

[joytraveler]

Joy Traveler: Screen 5

(Sunday, August 9, 2015)

normalnancy: hi magic -*-MAGIC_*_ hi who are you Llord_Kuruku: Hope Bea shows up soon HNV: Geez, who even are all these people? anthony1998x: an1 here from cali say yo normalnancy: hi lord kurku normalnancy: hi hnv berd_snerglar: She's usually on by now wtf. GlockRoach: u think she got freaked out aroseahorseboy: nah, bea has enviable chill

Bea arrives at last, looking a little worn. "Son of a bee it's been kind of a crazy night but okay. All good now, thanks for waiting! Had a little drama in the hive"

"BEA YOU FORGOT TO FEED THE DOGS!" "...hang on.."

anthony1998x: wtf r your parents here??? HNV: Dude, she's a millennial, we ALL live with our parents. Llord_Kuruku: ohmygodareyoufuckingserious. bea you have to show us the dogs aroseahorseboy: doggiiiiies

"Okay! Ready, my swarm!" She returns. "No, no, get down! You got wet paws! Out! I need an actual studio for this or something instead of just my nerd room, don't I"

"Welcome once again to Press Bea, picking up with Joy Traveler, part 5, and things have been...weird. We had Box Baby 2 and learned more about the Spanunkos and I haven't gone any further.. yet. It's tempting but I want to plumb the mysteries of this machine with my hive by my side! No I'm not scared!"

normalnancy: hi bea DueyDecimal: This gets more awesome every episode you guys, seriously calm down and watch bug_snuggler: bea can you play some of the actual good games you have GlockRoach: Dude you gotta stop changing your name every time, pick one. pick that one. Syrupentine: Everyone calm down, Bea can play what she wants... which is going to be more Planet of Pisces, right??

"Well I was thinking, I'll pick one to start and then you guys can pick the next, seems to work out pretty well most of the time"

DueyDecimal: I like that. aroseahorseboy: buckle up buzzers

Screen 5 shows a pastoral scene with a sunny field, a swimming hole, and a tree with a tire swing! Seated in front are two children, a boy and a girl, holding hands with their backs to the camera. In the sky appear the names of the 12 games for this screen:

49: Berry Batty 50: Teddy Bear Ballet 51: Impact Crate 52: Pralines & Cream 53: Whack-O Golf 54: Planet of Pisces 2: For Super Players 55: Kaveman 56: Crosswalk 57: Whirlwind Football 58: Fuzzed 59: Cat Rate 60: Sunny Spring Mornings

aroseahorseboy: is... is that... Syrupentine: omg omg omg POP2!!! Llord_Kuruku: HOLY SHHIIIIIIIII HNV: It's a trap! Play the last one, that's got to be a fakeout!

"Ok I know what you guys are thinking, and it IS a weird order but I don't think that really means anything. Crosswalk just sounds dull but we've though that before.. Oh you know what's boring? Golf!"

Syrupentine: ...Golf. DueyDecimal: God has forsaken us. snug_buggler: guys we can leave til the boring is over. why u hate us bea?

"Remember what this game did to soccer? And cooking? And other sports? Cooking is a sport you can't tell me otherwise"

HNV: Oh shit, you know what shows up in sports games, right? Llord_Kuruku: ...Spanunko time? HNV: Totally Spanunko time!

"DANGIT, how could I forget. Sure they're evil undead abominations but who can resist the thrill of competition..."

DueyDecimal: And they barf evil tapeworms! aroseahorseboy: my my yes it would be a shame to ever forget that

#feb 23 #jtnuggets #bea #hnv #dueydecimal #aroseahorseboy #berd #syrupentine #llord kuruku #glockroach #normalnancy

[twilightmalachite]

Hinata Aoi Mini Talk - SS Arc／5th Stage Sandstorm

Translator: Mika Enstars

"…Wait, you know I’m Hinata, right? Man, now I’m thinking about Yuuta-kun…"

Season: Winter

School Bus Trip

Location: Inside Studio Bus

Hinata: ♪~♪~♪

Heheh~! ♪ We are 2wink! We are number one!

C’mon, c’mon, Oogami-senpai, you can’t keep sulking forever! We are~?

💬 UNDEAD!

Hinata: Ooh, hearin’ the real thing sure is something else! ♪

One more time, Oogami-senpai! We are~!

💬 2wink!

Hinata: Yaay~! Now we’re rockin’~!

Wait, but you’re not part of 2wink, Oogami-senpai, so maybe sayin’ UNDEAD would have been better?

💬 Shut up!!

Hinata: Wah, I made you angry!

I did go a little overboard, I’ll behave now, okay? Sorry~!

Hinata: I’m getting a little hungry, I wonder if there’s any candy I can eat~.

How about you, Otogari-senpai? Didn’t you bring a whole buncha things?

I personally recommend this candy, its so sweet it’ll dissolve your teeth! ♪

💬 Lets see what snacks we have

Hinata: Oh, isn’t that the spicy snack that Yuuta-kun bought?

I’m not sure if I should eat that. If you want to eat it, Otogari-senpai, I’ll ask Yuuta-kun for you.

💬 How about something else?

Hinata: Then, how about this chocolate candy?

Could we share it together, Otogari-senpai? ♪

💬 Can I have one?

Hinata: Okay~. Then, I’ll give you this crazy bright pink one! ♪

So, how is it? Isn’t it super sweet? It just tastes like sugar, doesn’t it~!

Hinata: Hmm… We’ve been traveling for a while now, I wonder why we haven’t arrived at a hotel yet?

I’ve been driving for so long, my butts kinda starting to hurt.

Are you doing okay, Yuuta-kun? If you feel sick, tell me right away, okay?

💬 What about you, Aniki?

Hinata: I’m doin’ just fine! ♪ My gluteus maximus are robust from training!

I wonder if we’ll get there soon. I’m really getting tired of this~.

💬 I’m doing okay

Hinata: I’m so glad! ♪ If something happened to you, Yuuta-kun, I wouldn’t be able to live!

Ah, I exaggerated things again. You understand my love better now, right, Yuuta-kun?

💬 You’re so overprotective

Hinata: Of course I am! You’re my treasure, Yuuta-kun!

Aren’t you cold? Warm up with a blanket if you get chilly, okay?

The Desert with my Senpai

Location: Desert

Hinata: So hot~… I’m being boiled alive~…

I woke up and I was in a desert. Is this a new trend of reincarnation isekai?

I’d be at a loss if it weren’t for you, Hakaze-senpai…

💬 Are you okay?

Hinata: Yeah, I haven’t developed heat stroke yet.

But it’ll be bad if we’re stuck in the desert forever, right~? What would the management do if an idol ends up collapsing?

💬 I’m glad you’re here, Yuuta-kun.

Hinata: Yaaay, I’m so happy! Yuuta-kun makes me so sooo happy!

…Wait, you know I’m Hinata, right? Man, now I’m thinking about Yuuta-kun…

💬 Reincarnation isekai?

Hinata: Huh, you don’t know much about those, Senpai?

Well, I’m not really well-versed either. It seems that stories about starting a new life with memories of your past life are rather popular.

Hinata: By the way, Senpai, what’s up with that surfboard?

We aren’t at the sea, so it feels sorta out of place, but…

When you nearly ran into me on the surfboard, weren’t you surfing on the sand?

💬 It’s pretty fun, actually

Hinata: Hmm? Does it have the same sensation as surfing in the sea?

If it weren’t for the situation we’re in, I wonder if I’d also be having fun challenging myself to it~…

💬 Well, something like that

Hinata: Ehh, so you can surf on sand too~?

Isn't surfing your hobby, Hakaze-senpai? It really suits you! ♪

💬 Want to give it a try?

Hinata: Huh, can I? Of course I wanna ride!

Heheh~, how was that? Looked pretty good, didn’t it?

Hinata: In any case, standing here won’t do anything, might as well move, yeah?

The future of 2wink basically lies in my hands, so I’ve gotta make some progress~!

…Or something like that, I say cheerfully. I’m lonely without Yuuta-kun~. I miss him~.

💬 C’mon, let’s go

Hinata: Yessir… I will do as Senpai says…

But I mean, is this really the Tottori Desert? Was it always this big?

💬 I feel you

Hinata: Right~? Don’t you get uneasy without the person whos usually always by your side?

You too Hakaze-senpai, don’t you get lonely without Sakuma-senpai there?

💬 Please bear with me for now

Hinata: I don’t wanna~… You can’t beat Yuuta-kun~… Thin, yet muscular older onii-sans like you are way too different~…

Sigh… When I get to see Yuuta-kun again I’m going to hug him to my heart's content… Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do…

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#hinata aoi #2wink #mini #translation #sandstorm

[ask-dgs-221bbakerstreet]

P: I must repeat to you all that this is incredibly dangerous. The only way to do this even relatively safely is when you have years of spiritual training and practice ingrained into your mind. Please, be careful in what you do. I will pass on the phone to Mystic Maya, as she is the Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique and will provide the most wisdom on the topic.

M: pearly seriously you dont have to talk like that just because theyre our “clients” like this is nicks ancestor-y family here we can be a little silly with them. nvm she left to talk about girls with trucy which alright i get it i get it. anyway lets get down to business yeah?

first thing you gotta figure out is that you all got energy inside you, even better is that youve all got spiritual energy woahhhh. that goes w the undead too jsyk like if they didnt have any spiritual energy they wouldnt have a spirit in the first place theyd just dissipate which sometimes happens and its spooky scary ! anyway back on topic

so all entities carry energy right? whatcha need to do is dampen that energy and what you need for that is something to ground it which is most likely real alive and breathing humans, the most grounded out there. also like pearly said there really is no safe way to do this without training and none of you have any so. im trying my best here to make it as safe as possible w the resources we have rn

okay next you need a magatama like you gotta make one and then imbue it with spiritual energy. magatamas were originally made from clay or talc or slate or quartz or jadelite way back when like back in the bce era. you can also use polished jadelite or jasper or agate too and jade is what we usually use nowadays but idk if you guys have access to that so im just giving you whatever works

find whatever you can find and make a magatama and im gonna be real its not going to be as effective as whatever we make but itll have to do alright? then you just gotta. like. put spiritual energy in it to make it work. usually impersonal spiritual energy would be the best like from a temple or smthn but i realize yall dont have that so heres where the really dangerous part begins

to make this work you probably should be in a silent room surrounded in darkness for maximum concentration. close your eyes and focus on your spiritual energy and the magatama (if you made it correctly) will be able to sense it and drain it. its gonna drain your energy which means without being a natural born spirit medium or without having intensive training this could already bring you knocking on deaths door dude, be super careful

anyway the magatama will be able to help attract spirits more so thisll help you in getting that maelstrom guy. also you should probably research on the kurain channeling technique beforehand to prepare for this bc youll have to follow the procdeures of channeling as if you were a medium yourself. but unlike normal mediums you wont be able to be fully unconscious and your spirit will still hang around your body instead of not being there like usual spirit mediums. this is probably what happened w the edgeworth-lookalike and the edgeworth-lookalikes brother since “possession” is usally just spirit channeling but done really really badly

okay so let me explain magatamas more. it basically serves as a passageway from the spirit to the body and dampens the entering spirits energy so that the body of the medium isnt harmed. with the maelstrom guy itll dampen his energy enough for it to be tempered but hell still be pretty dangerous considering of what ive seen him do

all thats left is the spirit severing technique so kinda like spirit channeling but in reverse. usually we would just use a magatama of parting but you dont have that so like the regular magatama will have to do

hold the magatama in your hands and focus. concentrate on severing or dampening the spirits energy until its gone to the afterlife or until its weak enough to be harmless. im not gonna joke here bc this could actually kill you.

if it didnt and youre still alive and kicking?? and the spirit is either gone or super weak??? congrats!!! you did it buckeroo!

im gonna be real and say that pearly is right. you really shouldnt do this if you value your life. but if you do idk man just dont die too soon ! ive grown attached to yall so dont make me regret it

- Pearl Fey & maya

The Kurain Channeling Technique... let me see if Miss Susato's written anything...

Okay. It says that only women can be spirit mediums, but it isn't a true channeling, and we already had the possession situation, so I think it will be fine if one of us does it.

I wouldn't like to ask Miss Susato to do something as dangerous as this, besides.

I will do it. This concerns me most of all, and I have the least to lose. I could not, in good conscience, ask this of any of you.

But wouldn't that make it more dangerous? He would try to hurt you more than he would us.

I agree with Mr Naruhodo. There is risk for all of us, but he could be easily motivated to overpower you. I'll do it.

#the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #ryunosuke naruhodo #herlock sholmes #barok van zieks #ghost asks #gramarye siblings anon #((maya is so right they Should be a lil silly)) #long post