#like physically feel heavy

[skunkes]

im so tired of all the good brushes being on procreate u guys

#im STILL in brush crisis like obviously ill make art regardless but none of them FEEL right #in the same way that a physical drawing utensil cld feel too heavy or light or too big or small for my grip ugh #talkys

[4lph4kidz]

i was thinking about your dirk and hal poll and i want to mention that i think your concept for ink and iron where dirk creates hal from his reflection by enchanting a mirror is so cool 😌

thank you! hal's predicament and purpose within the canon narrative is so fascinating and i felt it was really important to find a way to explore what i find most interesting with him. i can't take full credit for the concept though i took inspiration from a few placees (one of my friends pitched the idea of the mirror accidentally dumping him onto jake's doorstop for example) but overall i think the idea is very fun and i'm really excited to write more hal stuff!!! also i'm going to take the opportunity to share this oldish doodle i found:

the mispelling of angel as angle was NOT intentional (<- dyslexia haver) but it probably explains a lot. he's pointy

#obviously an AU is going to be different from canon #but i like AUs specifically *because* i have a lot of fun trying to translate canon ideas into another setting or genre in general #in this case its a riff on the fairy tale magic mirror #hal is still an experiment gone wrong/artificial being created to serve a purpose trapped in a non-physical form and denied personhood #as well as being an extension of dirk's selfhood and very literal expression of his self image #this time with extra gender problems as per my original intentions for the fic. which now feel more than a bit heavy handed but whatever #point is hal gets to play up the trapped demon/spirit/almost genie-esque angle isntead of the artificial intelligence schtick in canon #which i am having a lot of fun writing! #he is also a very important plot device. multitalented 💕 #for anyone wondering i&i is NOT an abandoned project its just huge and whipping it into shape is slow going #i've taken breaks to work on other stuff too #ink and iron #i guess that's a tag i should start using #even though i'm not too happy with the title still. lmao

[kitty-fag]

Umm hi can u list all of the things you want to do to my body while I cry and beg you to stop?

#reading stuff like that makes me feel so needy and pathetic in a way that almost physically feels like a heavy tug from the core of my being

[blinkpen]

warning! i may start getting the winter crazies on top of my usual crazies bc when i cannot go to the gym and exhaust my mania physically (and also just Get Out of this House) due to unwalkable weather i start turning from a docile aquarium ray enjoying its food puzzle ball in spite of all the human hands stroking and poking at it, into a tiger without a watermelon full of hamburger to roll around its "the Bad kind of zoo" concrete cube enclosure where it is getting drugged and/or tazed regularly

#sporadic warbling #i try to tune out the dysphoria aspect of losing muscle mass bc thats not a healthy part to fixate on #but i do in fact need Physical Activity to be Mentally Healthy so when i'm cooped up with nothing heavy to lift i get irritable #like as in the physiological state of irritability like no getting around that fact i need those endorphins badly lmao #having this brain bug while also being disabled sure is An Experience #animal abuse mention #i mean it is a metaphor for what is not animal abuse but i sure get made to feel like one sometimes #i am very thankful people i've met online are kind i owe everything to those seemingly ephemeral social bonds

[squarebracket-trickster]

Sorry guys, rant incoming. I considered deleting this but I put too much effort in.

"girlboss" "girl dinner" "girl math" "boy math" "gen z are making fun of us for wearing x" "here's how to dress like gen z:" "girlies" "girl's night" "boy's night" "me and the boys" "90s kid"

"I don't feel like an adult" "I'm 34 and I can tell you, I still don't feel like an adult either." "My parents seemed like real adults when they were my age." "I still feel like a teenager."

Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you started calling yourself one. Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you stopped trying to dress like a teenager. Maybe you should move your bed out from the wall and get a wallet. Maybe find a calendar app that works for you.

You are an adult. Even if you live with your parents. Even if you do part-time shift work at minimum wage. Even if you haven't graduated college. Even if you are single. These are adult things to do. Because you are doing them. And you are an adult. Start treating yourself like an adult. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.

In other, writing-related, news:

That trend on TikTok of 20-40 something women authors (and writers yet to be published) promoting their books like,

"Omg! I can't believe I've sold X number of copies!! I never thought I would!" "Ahhhh imagine publishing your book and all your dreams come true and now you get to meet famous authors and work with big names in the industry!!" "Would you read a book where [proceeds to list a bunch of oversaturated tropes that tell me nothing about the actual plot]?"

It reeks of infantilization. If you didn't believe anyone would want to read your book, why should I? You made it on the NYT bestseller list! Stop acting like a mega-fan who got to meet a celebrity. You are their peer! "Would you read a book--" What if I wouldn't? Why does it matter to you what I think of your book? And for the love of god stop hiding behind tropes you know are already popular. "Here is my book: This is what it is about." Have some goddamn confidence.

It is fine to mention in passing "this idea was really far-fetched so I didn't know if it would appeal" or "I was struggling with self-esteem when I wrote this". It's fine to fan a little bit. It's fine to discuss the tropes in your book. But why are you building your brand as an author off of your inferiority complex? You are using your poor self-esteem as a marketing tactic to seem "humble" and "relatable" but it's coming across as unprofessional and desperate for reassurance. You are an adult. You are competent. The more you act like it the more you will believe it.

And of course, I haven't seen a man promote his book this way...

On another note, do any of the 20-40 something women writers who do "write with me" videos on TikTok actually enjoy writing or are they just doing it for the aesthetic?

They all have gorgeous minimalism writing spaces full of white and pink and a macbook beneath a window. Their makeup is done and they are conventionally pretty to start with. But their entire video is just them talking about how little progress they made, how many pages they deleted, how often they got distracted, how frustrated they are. And like, yeah. We all have those days. But what about the good lines you can't wait to share? The days when the words just flow? The cool stuff you learned while researching? Why don't you ever make videos about that?

Is this some other attempt to seem "relatable" by only talking about the "bad" side of writing? Because again, it's coming across as lacking confidence at best and, at worst, that you don't actually know how to write. And that is not the brand you want as an author.

Again, its always women. Why must women market their self-esteem issues in order to sell their art? Why must we be perpetually awestruck children (girlies, book girls) in over our heads?

#also why do I get the sense these women are selling a lifestyle more than they are actually promoting their own books? #I feel like someone more qualified than me could link this to modelling good christian gender roles #and cultural conformity or something #it isn't lost on me how much of this is about trying to seem humble #and how much validation is tied to protestant success and hard work ideas #is this where the indoctrination starts? #give us 'role models' as influencers #also Alex Aster of Lightlark fame is the WORST for this #her content makes me physically sick to watch #and again interesting that it is pretty widely agreed on at this point that she is an industry plant #interesting that the industry plant is leaning so heavy on the humility and infantilization of women tactics #as though appealing to protestant christians is a major concern of the industry #what's that about? is it just sales? or is it related to those evangelical groups trying get books banned? #how much influence does conservative christian america have within the trad pub industry? #maybe I am really reaching here idk #I don't have any sources #it's just speculation I am open to be proven wrong

[thekidsarentalright]

haircuts and dyeing ur hair are the most powerful two actions in the world that make u feel like a completely different person fr

#just got my haircut and its so cuteeeeee i feel so much better :3 #like abt myself but also physically bc. my hair was so long and heavy my god #txt

[radioactive-earthshine]

😑 none of the digital copies of Impulse I can find or own have the letters at the end.

#not feeling like grabbing my physical copies to read #they are heavy in a box #just to look at the letters to see if there is anything interesting

[fromtheseventhhell]

"Lady of the Riverlands Arya" is a new take to me, and certainly a step up from bodyguard or sailor, but seeing it coming attached with "Lady of Winterfell Sansa" somehow makes me doubt the sincerity of the people coming up with this endgame. I really wish people didn't view Winterfell as the ultimate "prize" so we could get endgame speculations that fit with the narrative and aren't just people assigning roles based on how important they think a character is.

#Arya has heavy connections to the riverlands but that doesn't mean she can just...becomes it's Lady dsksdkdsksd #Edmure /is/ still a character and we don't know how his story will play out and I doubt he'll just be killed off #It feels like people just came up with this theory afterwards to not seem biased when it comes to her #would love to see if these people could actually come up with a way for this to work or evidence of it from the book #Arya is at the center of the Northern plot without even physically being there but people always want to downplay her connection to WF #Hell she currently IS the Lady of Winterfell through her (fake) marriage to Ramsey but people don't see it for her endgame? 😭 #at least they're acknowledging she's going to end the story as Lady of a Castle that's a start #hate that I have to be so critical of Arya speculations but this fandom loves being clowns about her

[peribirb]

🦔 <alone on a friday night god i'm pathetic

#sorry i keep posting like this i think my brain is just trying to kill me lately you can ignore/block these posts if you want #im just really feeling the weight of a life unlived and a world unexperienced sitting heavy on my shoulders tonight #i feel like i sound like a whiny teenager but. i dunno it really does hurt #i feel so fundamentally disconnected from the world around me like i can only process things through the lens of like #treating the world like it's a story i'm reading about not something i'm physically part of. i can't wrap my head around that #i feel so deeply inhuman like. i'm conscious of things and i can see what's going on but it feels like an entirely different world #one that i'm cut off from and can only study from afar. like some sort of sentient AI stuck in a computer #and every day that goes by feels like one step farther away from ever changing that. like im gonna have to accept that i'm not actually rea #...actually yeah i. really don't feel like i'm real. #delete later

[pocketgalaxies]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#ladies what do you call it after you break up with your gf on friday and then get the flu and covid shots on saturday #brain fog sunday?? mind mashed potato casserole??? physical emotional bach fugue????? #i can't lift either of my arms over my head and my stress-induced TMJ dysfunction haunts me with a fresh vigor you could not even imagine #things feel better but things feel weird and things feel empty but things feel quieter #head feels heavy. feel like i could just sit here staring at my own hands while listening to music for three hours #anyway this isn't a pity post it's just one of the rare occasions where i use this blog as an actual blog #i'm gonna bury this post with some drafts and go take a nap #text #nova shh #personal

[thelostgirl21]

Help him...

#Jaskier #The Witcher #I was totally fine until THAT specific moment in the trailer... #Joey Batey #has a way of portraying fear and/or anxiety on screen that literally makes you physically feel it! #Those apprehensive eyes with that tiny step back and the way he shakes #How emotionally drained is he when he comes out of these scenes? #Can someone please wrap Jaskier in a warm soft heavy blanket and hold him? #Or Radovid's ridiculously soft and fluffy looking fur cape... #Oh. #Now I know why they gave Jaskier's love interest that large soft fluffy fur cape... #And those soft hair... #And called him #The Spoon Guy #Seriously someone bring him The Spoon Guy! #Like right fucking now! #It's an emergency! #Where the fuck is Prince Spoon Guy the 5th of Redania when you need him an his stupidly soft hair and ridiculously fluffy fur cape??! #My Posts #My Stuff #My fucking feels!

[heliomanteia]

No I think Nico would not get along with Leo at all, actually.

#🏛️ #Nico is a cat a bat a lizard. Whichever one you prefer. He likes people that are warm and content but not burning you up. #Confident. Have their shit together. Calm. Capable of shaking Nico up in a way he understands. Steady. Stable. Safe. #Leo... touchy-feely hands-on Leo who doesn't have a filter who is loud and excessive and too much and who is a flickering flame... #Would make Nico back away *hard* in my opinion because he does not get along with hotheads and he's himself strategic in canon. #He would be put off by this overly familiar behavior the lack of private space the lack of filter the inability to stay calm. #'They get along because they are both autistic' well if we stop treating autistic characters like a new species of people- #Maybe we will understand that having the same disability absolutely does not mean your way of being affected by it matches. #So if we hc them both as autistic then I think they would literally detest each other. #Nico who needs quiet and dark to feel content who stims with his ring who needs heavy jackets vs. Leo who stims loudly and through active #physical contact. He would hate the guy guys.

[didderd]

wen u dreams go into existential crisis mode

#but th dream lowkey had a rly good plot #like squid games #but in the afterlife #but u don't do well with heavy plots #n u wanna write it down but u know u'd probably have a hard time making it into anything anyway #(usually i wake up from existential crisis dreams still in th middle of th crisis n nothing feeling real and it's vry jarring and scary #but thankfully i think th crisis part had passed by th time i woke up this time) #(those dreams don't happen often but when they do it's scary #confused tf outta me as a kid) #(n they usually come with th. physical hallucination? of tiny thin wire/string wrapped around me? not a good sensory lmao) #didderd talks

[irregularbillcipher]

false awakenings are the absolute worst. a few days ago i had a false awakening that went like, seven awakenings deep and i was paranoid for half the day that i still wasn't actually awake

#also idk if this happens to anyone else but when i have false awakenings i physically cannot open my eyes in my dream #like they keep shutting and my eylids feel so heavy that i have to hold them open with my hands and then they STILL close #eventually partway into the false awakening cycle a few days ago i just stopped trying and crawled around my apartment in the dream #which was sort of terrifying tbh. do not recommend!!! #and you may be thinking 'well that's horrifying but you know theres a tell! yo uknow you aren't actually awake!' but NO #because my brain processes that i've felt this before but always forgets i 'felt' it in a dream #so it it goes 'oh well you're really awake this time but you're having that eye problem again! that IRL eye problem you have! that sucks!!! #and i just BELIEVE IT

[zevrans]

they should invent a day off where you're not woken up by the household at 9 in the morning and being unable to fall back asleep

#im fuming 😭😩 just let me sleep i feel like i've been physically beaten up at the end of my every 2nd shift 🥲😮‍💨 #i don't understand why i get to this point of exhaustion.. i mean i got used to the physical aspect of my job..i think?? #i has to lift/pull much heavy stuff but i try to not overdo it but it seems i end up always overdoing it anyway #my back and neck still end up hurting.. god i need hold on just for december and 2 weeks of january 😫🤧

[raindrvq]

mischa bachinski the typa trans guy to take any opportunity to carry heavy things he can and even if hes like dying n his arms are shaking he's just like "yea im fine its not even that heavy"

#ik i already made a post like this but its relevant to me so im posting it #i love projecting onto him #i just had to carry a heavy ass catapult around for physics n like my hands r red n shaky now but i feel good 💪 #its hot as balls rn tho n im wearing a jacket so thats annoying #ride the cyclone #rtc #ride the cyclone musical #mischa bachinski #rtc mischa