#like really fucking needs therapy

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[haunted-xander]

Do you think Saix' emotional co-dependence started as a Nobody or did it start as human Isa and just grew to an unhealthy degree?

#i like to think it started as a human partially bc that would make the most sense to me #(as xemnas/org xiii likes to use its members established weaknesses against them and saix/isas attatchment to axel/lea would be very easy to #manipulate him) #but also it furthers the parallels between saix' jealousy and rikus arc in kh1 #which i think is fun #obviously it wouldnt have been nearly as big a problem back then as it ended up being later on #partially bc isa wouldnt have been manipulated and gaslit so much but also #bc he wouldnt really have any fuel for it like saix got #no super-important super-secret mission they have to do #no forced emotional distance #and the idea of being 'replaced' would have been much more fueled purely by anxiety than any actual possibility of happening #oh and he also would have at least one other friend (subject x) #even if its one he wouldnt be able to talk to all the time #anyway im rambling. saix/isa got fucked up bad and i hope he gets loads of therapy bc god does he need it #isa #saix #lea #axel #leaisa #akusai #it feels kinda wrong to tag their noboy names when its them as a kids #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I was talking to a client today about "how to identify masking" as part of the process of learning how to shift masking from a reflexive coping strategy to a voluntary and conscious one and I feel like it led to a really important shift in framework FOR ME about masking and social distress.

Paraphrasing, the ideas we came to are as follows:

One of the reasons masking can be so difficult to recognize is because, essentially, masking is the act of performing "yourself" as a mirror for the other person you are interacting with. It's this idea of "I will micro-manage my own mood, affect, behavior, mannerisms, and environment in order to reflect back to you whatever version of "self" you need from me because if I don't there will be consequences". So because masking is essentially performing "mirroring" as selfhood by amplifying or minimizing aspects of yourself based on what you think the other person wants to see in you, it varies significantly from one context to another. The major commonality is that it takes up an INCREDIBLE amount of energy, mental and emotional resources, cognitive processing power, etc. So you don't identify masking by specific behaviors so much as by the feeling of "having a significant amount of your mental/emotional resources be occupied by the act of social interaction" to the point that it doesn't leave enough left-over for other cognitive tasks, or leaves you feeling exhausted and worn out, or basically by the impact that masking has on you during and after.

In this framework, part of why we get so anxious about new or unfamiliar people or situations is because we don't know how to mask in that context yet, and so until we get there and figure it out, we're basically just terrified of what could go wrong since we don't know what we're walking into.*

*This is the underlying framework of anticipatory and obsessive anxiety as well. Anticipatory and obsessive anxiety functions as the mechanism by which we conduct both predictive reasoning-basd advance planning and review/self-correctionof our mental predictive model.

Autistic aversion to uncertainty has a lot to do with our need to be able to use predictive reasoning-based advance planning to cope with "social deficits" aka how much harder it is for us to interpret subtextual/nonverbal cues, learn/meet social expectations, and work through/around disordered sensory processing. That predictive reasoning requires us to be familiar, in advance, with the stable constant factors that influence decision making in social contexts. If we aren't familiar with the constant variables than we can't plan, if we can't plan than we are more likely to make noticeable social mis-steps, and if we take notable social mis-steps there are consequences. It becomes necessary for us to be hypervigilent to observable patterns in other people's behavior in order to try to reverse engineer the social interaction playbook on the fly. That ends up making us more likely to assume personal responsibility for predicting and managing the emotional regulatory needs of people around us at all costs, replicating the behavioral/cognitive impacts of chronic traumatic stress due to the activation of our sympathetic nervous system from chronic hypervigilence.

Essentially, masking is a cognitive defense mechanism to severe and/or persistant traumatic interpersonal stressors. As the neurological impacts of chronic traumatic stress heal, we mask less frequently. But in order to heal from chronic traumatic stress, the human brain requires a safe environment that does not trigger a retraumatization episode or replicate feelings of helplessness/fear for safety. In other words, reducing/terminating masking safely requires us as autistic people to have consistent access to social environments in which we are able to utilize autistic interpersonal boundaries without fear of consequence or chonically unmet need. This requires the people around us to be able to respect not only autistic interpersonal boundaries, but also autistic self-expression/advocacy modalities and mediums.

I feel like a lot of the pieces of this framework have been rattling around in my head for a while but the flavor of words hit just right today and all the connections snapped into place.

Anyway, I'm still sort of sorting through the clinical implications of this framework but I think it's a direction I want to keep exploring for sure.

#i love my ASD client sessions it's so fucking MAGICAL how much those clients are thriving as we work together #like I don't know how to describe how well therapy goes when the client and clincian are speaking the same language it's really cool #anyway I feel like this is going to be part of how I assert the validity of my new modality because hot damn does it sync up perfectly #this framework so perfectly outlines the logical justification for the modality's clinical foundations #which will be really helpful in asserting the extant body of literature/evidence base for those clinical foundations as relevant #i need to update the files for my thesiiiiiiiiiiiiiis #actuallyautistic

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like???? #unprompted???? what's going on there???? #well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking #to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them' #and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually #had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed #and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you! #he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about #'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know #has reinforced that for me #'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect #then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie #I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3 #They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that #anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S. #So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them #cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit #I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt #ex christian #religious trauma #child abuse tw

[blonde-and-cat-suc]

Catra being anxious and having panic attacks over the bad things she did is actually counter productive to any hypothetical scenario where she is self reflecting and/or receiving constructive criticism.

Her potentially having crippling anxiety over being an asshole in the past PREVENTS and/or DELAYS any changes she might potentially make.

Making this character spiral over moral dilemmas does not inherently mean she’s actively working to change her ways. Her being afraid of facing her badness does not make her good; it simply means she has anxieties toward constructive criticism/dialogue.

#in response to the dumb fuck fan comics I see about Catra having panic attacks over and over #yeah like. I get th sentiment. but really that’s not how that works #well. it DOES. but if the audience of the popular fanon POV of Catra’s character is supposed to be sympathetic #why make her a wet soggy cat (metaphorically) #why make her the sad pitiful one #if she’s making changes in her life and her behavior… wouldn’t that be… impowering ? #wouldn’t she feel happier? #she wouldn’t even need to be coddled by Adora (and company). #she’d accept the bad things she’s done and would apologize with no tears none of this wet cat bullshit attitude #actually… fuck it I’ll just write something where she does exactly that #mariposa rants #what I told you guys… that making a huge self pity party for yourself… after doing some shitty thing #is actually incredibly selfish … and silly…. #(ex. bojack horseman. like. literally the entire show.) #eww mariposa ranting about bojack horseman #<<< (new tag cause I’m not down with this point) #basically. feel bad for a minute. then spend the next hour working on yourself. journaling. self therapy. actual therapy. meditate. pray. #whatever the fuck dude

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here

#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness #(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too) #but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so #lets see how that develops you know #also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it #not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but #im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing #to complain abt it anyway #the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy #maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness #i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character #in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now #like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains #in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think #or maybe you can! but i'll find that out #i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh #always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do #bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really #but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all #remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe #saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post #all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story #whos Other is story #where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story #ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe

[francy-sketches]

Nothing lamer than a fictional character going to therapy and working through their issues in a healthy way. Bitch go kill someone

#.txt #I remember people used to get really mad when books didn't end with all the characters going to therapy lol #maybe they still do idk #and it was always with kids media 💀 'why didn't percy jackson end with everyone horribly traumatized and in need of extensive therapy' #not saying a kids book can't talk about trauma but. you're against it having an happy ending??? girl. #thank god asoiaf is in the fantasy middle ages so nobody can complain about that #medieval therapy is just like. ah you must rid yourself of these foul humours! not to worry my friend! a good leeching will surely help :) #with some asoiaf characters I would want them to get help if they were in the modern world but. depends on how funny their mental issues ar #I would never in a milion years want to fix whatever the fuck is wrong with joffrey. he's perfect just the way he is 🥰

[agendercryptidlev]

Fragments is really like "So you know how you've had increased frustration about the compromises Jack makes about people's rights in order to keep Torchwood running? Well here's proof that every other organization doing this is way worse and Jack himself was a victim of the fucked up system these government organizations run off of"

#TOSHIKO'S BACKSTORY THOUGH HOLY FUCK #girl Owen is NOT what you need you need THERAPY #it's like 'here's the fucked up way Jack got forced into joining Torchwood' #'here's how Toshiko was fucking screwed to hell and back by UNIT' #'here's the Janto meet cute peace and love' #and then 'here's Owen's lame as hell backstory see he sucks because aliens killed his fiance' #outstanding episode really #Torchwood #Jack Harkness #Toshiko Sato

[frownyalfred]

“Bruce is a nesting and traumatized omega who’s missing his dead pup and that’s why he’s such a territorial bitch to Clark in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice” is such a stellar take, actually

#I wanna write it tbh #every now and then I think #would my followers like this? #you don’t even write a/b/o #not really #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superbat #clark kent #alas #it compels me #<<<<said like Daniel Craig in knives out #poor omega Bruce just needs to be fucked into some therapy #imagine solving the entire plot of bvs with knotting #I might #a/b/o mention #a/b/o #omegaverse

[pocket-deer-boy]

i just realized it's been a year and two months since i originally asked for therapy and i'm still not getting therapy. normal country

#its a specialized autism therapy and im going to be honest #im not very hopeful of them #like they require proof of diagnosis first of all #and second they really fucking needed me to hand in a fucking 10 year old diagnosis for some fucking reason #i had to back and forth with these cunts for like 6 months #before i finally told them upfront like #hey man. that 10 year old report is really fucking hard for me to get my hands on #and i'm still not receiving any kind of help with this which makes keeping up with these emails and papers extra difficult #and this 10 year old report is going to be fucking useless because it was written when i was 13 #it's not going to contain information that would be more useful to you than simply asking me directly about my current situation #please. just give me therapy #and then they put me on a wait list of 7 to 9 months suddenly #like wow you really pretended to be super fucking bureaucratic for no fucking reason huh

[sollucets]

guys i am trying Really hard not to have public opinions about of this morning... pray for me

#i work really hard not to do that. genuinely. every single time i reblog a meta or post my own opinion or write more serious tags #it is Vetted #i keep these things to my friends & my discord & such on purpose because. because. it's better for everyone #but im hanging on by a thread today i guess :') #for now.... just.... people need to remember that when youre debating fiction like this #the characters are fictional but the people listening aren't #and you can cause real fucking harm by talking about demographics the way people have been #rowan chatter #(if i see someone fucking say ray can't love again i'm going to kill. it's directly to murder i will be committing crimes) #(AND if i see another implication that he should've had to get sent to prison it'll be arson also) #fuck you all you dont get to have ray anymore. im taking him he's in my pocket now #do people even know how rehab & therapy fucking WORK #okay. okay. okay okk okokokkok mission failed a little #but we're far enough down in the tags now. reblogs are off. don't eat me

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

You refused to behold her!

@figuwhump

#whump #whump art #figuwhump #villain whump #alternative caption: twink bastard gets fucking ruined #Zach and Lan really need to get like therapy instead of torturing each other #my art #my ocs <2 #oc zach #oc lan

[spacecrows]

me (diagnosed with ADHD): *talks about little funny/annoying things my brain does (because of the ADHD)* my mom (not diagnosed with anything): wow that's so funny, the exact same thing happens to me too! i've never heard anyone else describe that. so random that you get that too. genetics, huh? :))

#sure mom. funny. funny coincidence. #this happens every time i see her #it happened like 6 times today alone #meanwhile my dad and my sister are staring at us like 'your brains do WHAT now???' #she doesn't really know much about adhd #i only got diagnosed a few years ago and she wasn't part of that process at all because she was living in another country back then #and like. i've gently mentioned to her before that genetics seem to play a big role in adhd too #and that actually many people get a late diagnosis when their child gets diagnosed #and it's fine. i won't pressure her to look into it more because she's doing well! #i don't think she needs meds or therapy or whatever at this point #but i just feel like it might help with how she sees herself? because it's so deeply engrained into her that she is Not Smart??? #because she flunked out of school as a teenager??? #due to bad grades #and like. oh i wish i could talk to that girl #things turned out well for her and she's generally a happy person #but still. i know part of her think she's stupid. and i fucking hate that #anyway i mainly just think this is really funny when it happens #adhd #nd

[somethingoriginal127]

sometimes i wish percy jackson wasn’t for middle schoolers only because there’s so much going on that is actually so crazy but because it’s percy jackson it’s not that serious😭

like percy will have fleeting thoughts that are … pretty self destructive if yk what i mean and then it’s just like OKAY NEXT which makes sense because of the age group it’s intended for but older me is like “oh so we’re just not gonna unpack this? works for me i guess.”

or certain situations where lives are at stake and they’re thinking about it in a way that is much to chill for me lmao, for example percy about to sacrifice himself in house of hades and there’s no real inner turmoil he’s just like “ohhh ok this is when i die.” “checks out.” and then when he verbalizes the plan annabeth is also just casually like “lol no. terrible idea.”

yk what i mean?😭

but anyway this is what fanfiction is for so who can complain

#percy jackson spin off therapy series ! #because they all need it really bad !! #nico is a mess !! #percy is a mess !! #annabeth is a mess!! #they are so traumatized 😄 #like i’m supposed to believe they’re all just straight chillin after this ? #bc i don’t. #percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #also percy would say fuck #anyway

[almond-tofu-chan]

chainsaw man makes you think its a sick action anime where a horny guy made of chainsaws murders a bunch of guys and gets a sorta fucked up found family along the way, but then you watch it and its actually about a 15 year old boy getting groomed and everybody hates everyone else but theyre mostly busy hating themselves and then everyone dies

#csm spoilers #chainsaw man spoilers #they introduce like 8 characters in one episode and then kill them like two episodes later #half the characters in the intro dont show up until yhe very last episode and they all get like one line apiece #not eyepatch finding out denji is a minor and then STILL TRYING TO SLEEP WITH HIM??? #'i didnt take advantage of you last night right? oh good i totally wouldve gone to jail' #HELLO????? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF???????? #ik anime is like that but i still just couldnt stomach the show after that #she died like 5 minutes later tho so it was fine #you lied to me i was promised found family #and i got a bunch of fucked up teens who need therapy but instead get groomed #feel bad show of the year #i get its not supposed to make you feel good by the end #and maybe its really effective for that #but i was upset by the wrong things i think #i didnt care when any of the characters died because they had just been introduced like one episode agu #i didnt even remember any of their names #honestly not a good show #ive never liked mappas stuff #theyre allergic to filler and thats their proboem #they dont take the time to make me care about the characters before they kill them #tl;dr i didnt like it #chainsaw man #csm