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#like talk about mirrors amirite
lewis-winters · 7 months
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The whole Web-Nix-Buck thing is very "Recognition Through The Other (Derogatory)" and its great. Also they're all from different schools so that rivalry plays into it, which is funny considering a) Nix couldn't give less of a shit about Stanford, b) Buck's the only one who cares about college football, and c) nobody else watching this can tell the difference anyway. - Nathan
ONCE AGAIN MY FAVORITE RED HEAD YOU ARE SO CORRECT!! it's recognition!! it's self-loathing!! it's competition!!!! it's a study in shame!! not to speculate, but i have a feeling a part of them feels that particular middle class guilt at their upbringing, especially when surrounded by enlisted men who have had to fight tooth and nail for everything that they have!! and these 3 all have it, it's just each one disagreed with how the others managed it or grappled with it in order to either fit in or blend in.
and like. you are ALSO so correct about the schools thing-- it's so funny because they went to college for WILDLY different things and different reasons, and so their contempt for each other being fueled by simple rivalry of ivy leagues (which is largely borne in football and sports-- of which neither web nor nix care about, but buck's whole life is built around) is simply SO FUCKING FUNNY.
Web cares about schooling AND was probably talked into like. legacy enrolments and some such-- he's the type to have gone to harvard because, yeah ok it's prestigious and his parents would have LOVED to brag about it to their friends, but also the course work actually has merit and the curriculum makes the most sense and the job opportunities in the end would be a lot and the chances of getting accepted into academe is high--
meanwhile, buck chose to go to UCLA for the football program + his pre-law, and then later took post grad in Loyola Law and became a really successful lawyer so he clearly chose very carefully!!
MEANWHILE, nix chose yale because. well. his granddaddy went to yale, his daddy went to yale, so i guess he should too? nixon legacy, amirite? even if he didn't want it or want to be associated with it or even if he actually chose to go to yale for any substantial reason. the fact that he maybe didn't go back after the war (idk his wiki page says he was just there for 2 years but of course that's not the best resource) just goes to show how little it actually meant to him.
these 3 went to these big ivy league colleges for varying reasons AND YET the idea of them refusing to admit that they find each other annoying bc they are mirrors of each other that they see their worst traits in, and instead hiding behind the idea of rivalrly between differing ivy league schools all but one of them has any business in caring about in makes me laugh so fucking hard. it is the single most 20-something, middle to rich class, white male bullshit i have ever heard it is SO fucking funny i can't. get your shit together, pls. it's embarrassing for the rest of us!!
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i like your shoelaces (thanks! i stole them from the president)
Chapter 7 is up!
Summary:
“Yeah, yeah. Call it what you want, amirite?” Charlie shoots him a saucy wink. “Ohhhh you know what, you can take photos of this for the prom!” Dean raises an eyebrow. “Uh, Char?  I regret to inform you that we are adults who haven’t attended high school in years…” “Oh please, you of all people who lives on that godforsaken fucking website and you’re not hip to Tumblr prom, of all things?” Charlie puts her hands on her hips. “Um,” Dean says awkwardly. He literally has no idea what she’s talking about and quickly realizes how suspiciously odd that really does seem. “I haven’t been online much lately,” he offers. Charlie peers at him questioningly. “Yes you have,” she retorts. “You have your little green thingie activated. I can seeeeee you!” she drops her pitch on the last sentence to mirror the spooky, haunting sound of a cartoon ghost. “Erhm. Well, I’ve been online but not really - online online.” Dean stumbles over his words, feeling the blood rushing to his ears. He hopes Charlie doesn’t pry further. Being Charlie, she - of course, does.
Read from the beginning here!
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talk about mr. dreamy amirite (Dream Boy - John Valentine)
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“I think I want to kill myself,” I told him. I meant it; I still mean it.
I think I want to kill myself.
I think I want to kill myself.
It’s the uncertainty I find comfort in, the idea that maybe I’m wrong. I could just be overreacting.
Here is a strange place. It’s a sort of pocket dimension; I’m not really here, and I’m not really there, I’m just… Here.
He holds me, although it’s only for the reason that he’s never known touch. Technically neither have I, not in this body, not in this world. His embrace is uncomfortable and awkward; Something about his nerves connecting with mine ignites a sort of burning itch under my skin. I don’t move away.
“If you died, would you come back Here?” He replied. It wasn’t a question directed at me per se, more a general curiosity of how ‘Here’ works.
In this world I do not have a name. There are no mirrors, so I do not have a face. I have hands with which to touch the jello-like substance that is the air around me; I have glasses to feel the numb pressure on my nose.
This boy has no name. I have not looked up and checked, so he has no face. He looks soft, but to touch him is to feel a thousand knives pierce entirely through me. He has hands with which to touch me; He has tools to sculpt my Here.
“I think I want to kill myself,” I told him. I meant it; I still mean it.
He’s never known touch.
come back Here?”
I’m just… Here.
, so I do not have a face.
He has tools to sculpt
want to kill myself,” I told him. I meant it; I still mean it.
touch.
Here?”
… Here.
I do not
kill myself,”
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thesugarhole · 6 months
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sanrio?? hello??
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violin* and obsessed with money???? since when??? i mean. alright. i can give the violin to him AND cherry but its like, very barely there violin??
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me to the sanrio ceo: "berry is violin" shut up if youve seen the stuff kuromi circa 2006 used to do youd hurl
also i dont think wallet status has ever been mentioned about these guys... in any media/franchise. they live in an abandoned looking mansion for the halloween aesthetic, not because of money. i can believe 'obsessed with money' but not 'poor'
hoping its either just google mistranslations or some recent developments ive been blissfully unaware of
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>cinnamon
>her
its mistranslations. also this is personal headcanoning time based on how often the confusion happens but man you cant do this to cinnamon notorious trans man icon cinnamon. if he doesnt mind it then ill mind it for him djkhfdksj 'cherry is competitive and selfish' is correct btw this has always been her description. well maybe not competitive but definitely selfish. iirc it was always around "berry is stubborn cherry is selfish and theyre both tsundere" genuinely dont know where violin came from its gotta be a mistranslation on the nuisanse/stubborn aspect. i also dunno where 'weakness is strong-willed girls' came from, it might be talking about his friendship with cherry and how he might given in easier to what she tells him (at least i choose to think so) so i got no comment on it
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all the pronouns being mismatched is so funny man come on shjfhdgfdsjvfdsjv is this profile using some sort of neutral language that left google confused as hell?
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i. uh? should i be worried about espresso?
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this ones... correct? espresso is more of a culture savant than a celebrity.... anyway berry if you kick him out there will be no one there to make you the food you love
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nope! its magic and mirror manipulation. pranking is their hobby and favorite pass time but their magic is not limited to just the -its joke- context (sorry to once again quote the worst season ever of OMM, but they both tried to help out bakus family by making a photo of food they had emit scent, so the family would have an easier time eating plain rice. no jokering no jestering no clowning no malicious behavior whatsoever).
i remember being mentioned in older descriptions that berry had some potion making proficiency but they havent focused in that in years so who cares now amirite. i dont remember if cherry had any sort of distinction like this, theyve always overfocused on her crush on espresso :pensive:
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"what about cherry"
"who? oh idk write smth about espresso again"
(hobbies include PRANKS, attempting to make friends (a general trait) making music (2018 rankings), having ballroom parties (cinnamon trip!! by oster project) and watching sentai/magical girl anime (onegai my melody). berrys particular hobby is to mess with cinnamon, cherrys particular hobby is to go after espresso. i guess.) (but again most of these are old one offs, and currently unfocused aspects of theirs so. whatever)
also i really would like to know the plans about the alt designs for them that are technically their true form and always show in their shadows and (sometimes?) in mirror reflections. it hasnt been completely dropped but, its never been hard defined either so idk. i guess i feel a bit bummed that its also been attempted to be forgotten to time because (to me feel at least) it feels very obviously based on the episode kuromi turned herself into a human and it could be something they were trying to establish to devil inspired characters back then.
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thanks for coming to the lloromannic autism hour its nice to think about something else other than current personal events sometimes
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*censorship
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bratshaws · 1 year
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goodness gracious 84. brb x oc
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a/n: b oy these future chapters amirite. AMIRITE
check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: fluff,Bea misses Rooster and we don't blame her.
chapters:
1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44
45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64
65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83
(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)
taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix
@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls
@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2
@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads
-
The way Beatrice dealt with his absence this time was arranging their house, cleaning it, restocking areas. She watched a lot of compilations about restocking and organizing, because it was the only way she could distract herself the best she could. 
She cleaned and organized the fridge, then the pantry, then the laundry room and her focus now was her art room. Well, office/ art room. The same way Rooster had his own office with his desk and computer, she had her own. Neither of them wanted any desk in their bedroom, it should be a place to rest and destress, their little sanctuary away from everything. 
Her art room didn’t have a lot of stuff yet, mainly some materials she never used during college that she kept hidden for months after grad. The one good thing about it was the large window that overlooked the pool and backyard, and a bit of the patio too. It was a wonderful house…and Rooster barely had the time to enjoy it.
She wasn’t mad at him, she’d never be mad at him, but she did wish he was here. She could only hope he was okay and that he’d return safely so they could enjoy everything that he missed. Beatrice sighs, sitting down on her old couch that now was part of the art room’s decor, clasping her hands between her thighs, chewing the inside of her lip.
It’s been two weeks already, weird how time passed fast since she saw him off. Neither of them wanted to let go but they knew they had to, Rooster kissing her forehead then her lips, keeping the lip lock and only breaking when he stepped back, giving her a small sad smile and walking away.
She was happy she had wonderful people surrounding her, like Shells,Evelyn and Penny. Evelyn seemed to be the least affected by Jake’s departure, but she knew the other woman was missing him. As much as Evelyn keeps their relationship private, it was obvious the Texan wormed his way into her heart more than she expected him to.
Beatrice inhaled softly, “Okay.” she pushes herself upwards, “Time to do something else since I’m done here.” Jolene looked up from her spot in the living room, tail thudding on the wooden floors as the brunette walks past - leaning down to scratch the pittie under the chin - to the second floor.
Their room was already organized and clean but Beatrice stopped on the empty room before their own. They still hadn’t decided what they should use this room for, it was pretty big just like the other rooms in that house, with a large window that showed some of the neighboring houses. 
Her feet echoed once she stepped in, running her fingers against the wall. She stood there, looking at the beige colored room with wooden floors, trying to think what it could become. They already had a guest room downstairs, maybe another one up here?
Or maybe, she should just think of what she wanted instead of using smoke and mirrors. A baby room.
It was insane, they never talked about it, but Beatrice could see it. It was big enough for a crib, she could paint the walls how she liked it - maybe some forest motifs or even the sea? She could see herself painting such things there, a small smile on her face.
She was having baby fever, especially since Cynthia was pregnant with her second baby…Beatrice couldn’t really help herself, especially since there was the picture of Rooster and his parents adorning the hallway downstairs, close to the piano in the living room. If they had a baby, would it look more like her or Rooster? Or a mix of both?  “This is a terrible thing to think about with him gone.” she murmurs to herself, hugging her arms close and backing away from the room, stopping when she hears the very specific sound of a baby’s laughter.
She looked back inside over her shoulder, clearly there was nothing nor anyone in there, “I’m hearing things…or the house is haunted.” she kept on staring, waiting for the laughter to repeat itself. But it didn’t. It didn’t and Beatrice inhaled shakily, “I need to focus on something else.” anything else really.
Beatrice rubs her face with both hands, closing the door behind herself and looking around, propping her hands on her hips, “Alright.” she murmurs, “What���should I do?” everything was organized and clean…maybe she should watch some other videos for inspiration. There has to be other things she can do.
So she opens her phone and scrolls down YouTube with her thumb nail wedged between her teeth, walking barefoot down to the living room where Jolene remained lying down, only turning her head in Beatrice’s direction when she hears her coming down the stairs. “No, no, already seen this one, no…” she tsked, leaning her elbows on the back of the couch and tapping the ball of a foot on the wooden floor rhythmically, blowing a raspberry in frustration when she couldn’t find anything else.
That is until she found the DIY section of the videos. 
Beatrice’s eyes focused on the thumbnail where she could see pictures of different projects. She always was interested in DIY, or flipping things - hence her vintage armoire - for better uses. Maybe that’s what she needed, something she could get her hands on and then see how it worked with the rest of the house.
Since the house was rented there wasn’t much they could do besides paint over certain walls with the condition they’d paint its natural color before giving the house back, so if she could find solutions for other things in the house…and things she knew Rooster would like it too, that is, she could surprise him.
She wasn’t good with power tools, yet, so she should try and find something easier. Maybe something - “Would you like to renovate your rental? Try removable wallpaper!” the overly cheery woman in the video announced, showing a sped up process of her adding said wallpaper to her dining room. Beatrice blinked, then looked around, locking  her eyes on the kitchen, in the tiny wall right behind the built in island bar.
While she loved her new kitchen, she felt it could use…something different. Should she even do that? She didn’t know it yet…but she knew who to call in hopes she could figure it out.
“Look at this one.”
“Michael that’s horrible.”
Beatrice knew that Michael would like to get out of the house on his off days, his job at his friend’s gym was mainly at night so he had most of the day free. Her brother frowns, pushing the rolled up wallpaper back into the pile, only to grab another one with terrible tacky patterns, “What about this one? It has flowers.”
“Mikey, no,I told you I wanted something with color but not this.” she says, gently pushing it away from his hand, “Not to mention it’d have to be more geometric than that. It looks like it belongs in a museum.”
“Well, you like museums.” he says back only to earn an eye roll from his little sister, who stood on her tiptoes to check the taller shelves. This department store was so full of things, especially for DIY, that she was going to get distracted in minutes. She didn’t even know what she’d do, but she knew it’d be useful. Michael leans his large shoulder against the iron shelves, crossing his arms over his chest, “So…how are you feeling?”
Beatrice sighs, looking around for a stool or anything that could give her a boost - she was tall but not tall enough to reach the wallpaper she liked - “I’m…fine.” she doesn’t look at him when she says it, biting her lower lip and checking to see if anyone was around - anyone of the employees that is, before she stepped on the bottom shelf for impulse. Her brother, who wasn’t stupid, pushed off the shelf he was leaning against to pretty much cover Beatrice like she was some sort of international dignatry and he was the security guard, hiding her from view, “Got it! Finally.” she grabbed two rolls of wallpaper for safety.
She drops the wallpapers into the cart, leaping down from the lower shelf before anyone could notice, then looks back at Michael who just has his eyebrow up, “What?”
“Are you sure you are fine? You are in that house all alone.”
Yeah, don’t remind her, “I know, but I’m fine!” Michael hums, not believing it, “Time will go by fast, Brad will be back before I know it. Plus we’ll be able to talk, like we did before.” Michael hums again, digging his hands in his dark jeans’ pockets as he follows her through the aisles, pursing his lips, “I’m fine,Michael.”
But was she? She was holding on better than she thought, with the fact that it’s been two weeks. She missed him terribly, but there wasn’t much she could do besides wait and pray for his safe return. Beatrice tried to keep her mind occupied so the goblin voice wouldn’t snarl terrible thoughts inside her brain, she didn’t need that. He was going to be fine and they were going to enjoy it when he gets back.
“Do you want me to stay with you for a bit? You know I wouldn’t mind.”Now, normally she’d say no because these past weeks have been quite calm but…honestly she wouldn’t mind the company either.And Michael was always someone who’d be with her if she was scared - honestly any of her siblings would, but Michael always stepped up to it before anyone - “I can help you set up your new project.”
He nods to the shopping cart, which in turn makes Beatrice look as well, laughing softly “...okay.” she says, gently bumping her shoulder against his large bicep, “Thanks Mikey.”
“I accept payments in cannolis and chocolate cake.” Beatrice gasps in fake offense, trying to shove him away but he just leans to the side instead of moving, chuckling at her annoyed look that only melted into a brighter smile, “Plus,I only saw your house like…for a few minutes, I don’t know everything in there. You can give me a tour.”
Beatrice just smiles, then nods her head, pushing the cart forward until they reach another aisle. She didn’t know if it was because of the videos she watched or because she desperately wanted to keep her mind occupied, but she had several ideas. The wallpaper would be the first one of the big projects she was planning, she could also paint something too, maybe that’s how she’s going to keep herself distracted. 
Beatrice’s cart wasn’t full of things, only a few essentials that she’d need. As Michael helped her put her things inside the red Jeep, her phone buzzed nonstop, something that wasn’t common since she rarely got calls so early in the afternoon.
But she grabs it, seeing it was Shells calling, “Shells?” she asks while pressing the phone to her ear, “What’s going on?”
“Where are you right now?”
“Right now? Uh, I’m at Mackenzie’s…why?”
“Bea, you need to follow the road down Mackenzie’s and then go to downtown.” Shells sounded way too excited ,”I want to tell you but I don’t want to tell you because it’ll ruin the surprise!”
Now that called her attention ,”Surprise?” Michael looks up from the trunk of her car to her, furrowing his eyebrows, “Uh, but okay? I’ll go there.”
“Park close to Giordano’s and walk down the sidewalk! Bye!”
Well that was weird, she even commented with Michael at how odd it was that her best friend gave her locations to go. But knowing Shells, it was better to not ask and just go. Beatrice hopped in the driver’s seat, her car still smelling new and fresh, wth Michael taking his spot on the passenger’s side as they made their way out of Mackenzie’s parking lot.
She tries to think what would’ve made Shells so excited, a new Kylie Minogue tour that she just saw a poster of? That’d be enough for her to call Beatrice that while she wasn’t a Kylie fan, she’d be just as happy as her friend. 
She follows Shells’ directions, reaching a very commercial area that was so packed she couldn’t even park her car close to Giordano’s as Shells asked. But as soon she turned the ignition off, she saw a blonde head appear in the distance, followed by her body jumping up and down with her arms in the air trying to get attention, “What the hell?” she mutters, stepping out of the car with Michael close behind, locking it and then rushing to meet Shells halfway.
Before she could even speak to Shells, the blonde engulfed her in a hug, bouncing on the spot with a very confused Beatrice hovering her hands by her sides, “I’m so proud of you!” Beatrice just blinked in shock, still not understanding what her friend was talking about, but she couldn’t even ask her, because Shells clasped onto her hand with a vie grip and took her forward, through the sea of people, past Giordano’s and to a crosswalk.
“What’s going on?” Beatrice could only see the same old buildings and offices in this area, “I don’t know why you mmf-” Shells grabbed her face with one hand, squeezing her cheeks and directing her gaze upwards, past the buildings and to a tall billboard. Beatrice’s eyes widened, her blonde friend’s hand dropping from her jaw so it’d go slack.
There was a billboard there, right on the side of a building and whose face was right on it? Hers. It was her face. It was Marcus’ collection, it was finally launching and he chose her to be the main focus of it. She knew he liked her, calling her his muse and whatnot, but she didn’t expect to be the so called ‘centerfold’. Beatrice gasps, “That’s me.” she remembers when he took the picture, with the low angle and the rosé colored sunglasses and the flowy pomegranate colored off shoulder dress, “That’s me!” 
Pure Beauty by Marcus Beverly it said in maroon colored letters right by her cheekbone on the picture. Beatrice was in shock, Shells was still jumping up and down by her side - a few passersby looked at them weirdly but didn’t care much to ask what was going on- “It is you!It’s you Bea!!”
“I-I am…o-on a huge billboard…o-on a building.” she didn’t know if she should cry or laugh or both. Her brother was dead silent, looking up at the billboard as they were. Beatrice let out a cracked laugh, feeling the cry climb up her throat and almost break free, still in complete disbelief at what she was seeing, “I…It’s me…it’s me!!” she finally lets the tears roll down, trying her best to not cause a scene in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Holy shit.” Michael finally speaks once he shakes off the shock of seeing his little sister in a billboard, “Holy shit, it is you.”
Shells grins even more, clapping her hands rapidly “I was driving by and the moment I saw it I almost caused an accident and I had to call you!” She proceeds to pull out her phone, taking a picture of Beatrice looking at her own face while cupping her cheeks, completely enamored by what she was seeing and unaware of Shells’ phone by her side.
That was her, it was her. She knew the pictures looked nice, after all Marcus did send her some but not all of them. And she couldn’t share with Rooster or anyone else since it was part of a collection and they couldn’t have ‘leaks’. But now she could send Rooster the pictures and send him this one! She was so…so happy, a complete opposite from hours before as she tried to keep her mind occupied. She couldn’t believe it, she was still trying to understand that yes it was her and no she wasn’t dreaming, “Wow…I…”
“We gotta send this to Rooster.” Shells announces, “I’ll send you the pics I took, he’s going to flip out.”
Meanwhile,Michael stood to the side, watching his little sister vibrate and cry and just look like she won the lottery with how happy she was. When he found out about it, he wasn’t worried, after all she was a grown woman. But he knew that while their parents said yes - and Guillermo agreed - they might’ve had a bit more difficulty understanding this.
But honestly, there was no way they wouldn’t be proud. Beatrice looks stunning, like she always is and always should be, she was glowing. So much had changed within her and he was so proud of how much she grew mentally. He knew how much she struggled, she rarely spoke about it but he knew how much of a toll it took on her.
Beatrice meeting Bradley and eventually dating him, was meant to happen. He knew that, they were just two peas in a pod with how much they completed each other. At her birthday it was so hard to imagine her without him and vice versa, and to see his little sister blossom into the woman she always was meant to be made his chest warm up with pride. “I’m going to send this to mom and dad, you know they’ll love it.”
She had no fear in her eyes when he said it, no doubt, she just smiled wider, “Okay! Let them know the address too so they can come and see for the first time too.” 
Growth.
It was a great look on her.
She stood there, admiring her own face - not vainly, nothing like that…she was just…she was just really happy to accept that gig. For several reasons, but the boost that it gave to her confidence was astronomical, she felt so much better and free and…she felt she could take over the world if there was a chance. And she had Rooster’s support on it too, his support was of the utmost importance. “Come on Bitty.” she hears Michael say, dropping an arm around her shoulders, “I think this deserves a small celebration.”
Bea looks back at her picture, the way her green eyes look greener and her lips look fuller and shiny, “I-I…okay.” she whispers, only stepping away from Michael to hug Shells, who was still bouncing like a child with how happy she was. She said she was going to show the pictures to Penny and Amelia, then to Evelyn if she hadn’t seen it yet.  The brunette nodded, backing away from the sidewalk to wander back where she parked her Jeep, waving Shells goodbye and not being able to contain how wide her smile was getting.
“That was me, Mike.” she whispers once she pulls the keys out of her back pocket, looking up at her older brother with stars in her eyes, “Mike that was me!!”
“I know, sis.” he grins, dropping a huge hand on her head to mess the brown strands just a bit, “You look incredible.”
Beatrice sniffles, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands while nodding. What a turn this day did, from wondering about DIY projects to now seeing her face on a billboard and honestly she couldn’t complain about it. She drives them back to the house, where she’s still smiling and not believing what happened, just giggling to herself, picking up Jolene - who looked confused as heck even if her tail wagged - to kiss her cheeks and head, bouncing the dog on her arms before she sets her down.
Michael watches his little sister practically skip around her new house, taking the time of her being distracted to have a better look at the neighborhood and then at the door and front of the house, he could find someone to put a camera there if she wanted. Beatrice’s happy humming was heard all through the house, which made Michael smile and eventually step inside, locking the door behind himself with the key she had dangling from a magnetic shelf, watching it snatch the keys up once he was done.
Beatrice is setting everything inside her art room, Michael letting her know he’s going to get some water but she just tosses him a distracted ‘okay’ when she receives the pictures from both Shells and Marcus. She chews her lower lip with a smile, thanking her friend and thanking Marcus even more, telling him she just saw the billboard and couldn’t believe it was her.
She was smiling so hard her cheeks hurt, reading Marcus’ heartfelt message about how ‘You should believe that beauty is yours, darling. I just worked with was already beautifully done.’ making her eyes sting with more tears…but now she had something else to do.
She didn’t know when he’d be able to see the message, even if it was possible for him to read it now, but she was going to send the pictures to him either way. She chews her lower lip, taking a deep breath before she finally types a message down.
Bea (14:45)
‘Hi Roos! I just wanted to send you a message to say hi and that I love and miss you so much! Something really cool happened today and I think…it’s better if I show you than tell you! I miss you so much, I hope you are safe and I can’t wait to see you!
Love you! Tell everyone I said hi!’
There were so many pictures that they had to be sent in a folder file, which meant it’d take some time until it was fully sent his way. While she waited, she pushes herself to her feet to meet Michael in her kitchen, checking everything in there while sipping ice cold water, “What are you doing?”
“Checking the cabinets,” he opens and closes a few doors, “This is a pretty good house, sis. Gabby really helped you out on finding it. But I think you can ask if you can add some cameras outside.”
“Oh?”
“Just because it’s a nice neighborhood doesn’t mean it’s crispy clean. Not to mention porch pirates. Did I mention the time I fought a guy who was trying to steal my slippers? Slippers,Beatrice and he was lucky I didn’t break his jaw or something.”  she wanted to roll her eyes but he had a point, “And now that your face is on a huge billboard…I don’t know, taking extra precautions isn’t wrong.”
Beatrice blinked, then pursed her lips. In her euphoric state she completely forgot about that, “You are right, I’ll see what can be done.” she says and then pushes herself to sit on the counter, with Michael following suit so they are now side by side.
“So, you plan on going professional? Because of your photo shoot?”
“Oh, no, I don’t think so. I mean it’s nice and all but…I don’t know, I love the Hard Deck, and I want to work on my art.” she shrugs, “I don’t see myself leaving it so soon.” 
“Fair. But if you did you’d do great. Just so you know.”
Of course he'd be supportive, “Thanks Mikey.I’ll keep that in mind.” she says, gently bumping his shoulder with her smile slowly faltering, “When you asked me if I was fine I…I am fine, you know? I just…I miss him, already. The house doesn’t even smell like him yet besides our room…and…yeah. But I’ll be okay.”
Michael hums, clasping his hands between his thighs as he looks around her kitchen, “You will be, I’m sure he misses you just as much sis.” he says gently, patting the top of her head and then pushing himself from the counter, “I saw some ice cream in your fridge, how about we have a ice cream fest to celebrate your photo?”
“Ice cream fest? Now?” he nods, already opening the freezer. Beatrice thinks on it, biter her lower lip, then shrugs, “Oh, what the hell, why not?”
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estellamiraiauthor · 1 year
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The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 1)
Hey there Tumblr, long time no see! Let’s try something fun and new!
So, a few years ago, when The Stars May Rise and Fall was first published, I tried to do an “annotated copy” as a giveaway—i.e. a paperback with all my little “making of” notes in the margins. That lasted… about three pages, before I gave up on writing legibly enough for anyone else to read AND on cramming everything I wanted to say literally between the lines.
But I still really do like the IDEA of a sort of on-screen commentary, and it’s feeling like about time for a re-read anyway. (Yes, I read my own book. Why write the book you want to read if you’re not going to actually read it, amirite?) So… why not do it here?
Feel free to read along, if you like. If you haven’t read The Stars May Rise and Fall yet but are just generally interested in Phantom retellings or whatnot, this first one won’t spoil anything you can’t get in the “Look inside” preview on Amazon, although future ones might. So grab a copy and join me?
Regret is a pretty strong word, and not one I’m sure I want to use at all about this book, which is very much the book of my heart, the book I wrote because I wanted to read it and it didn’t exist. But if I regret anything about it, it’s that I decided to make the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical the first version of Phantom I paid homage to. Now, I definitely don’t regret including the ALW Phantom in the MANY versions I ultimately ended up giving little nods too. Like a lot of angsty kids in the 90s, it was the version that really got me interested in seeking out others, after all. But seeing reviews (and before that, rejections from literary agents) saying that they stopped reading after two or three chapters because “it followed the ALW musical too closely”… maybe I should have modelled the opening scenes after a different version, or just done something entirely new.
Still, it is what it is. And back in 2004 or whenever it was when I first had the idea for a visual kei Phantom retelling, I didn’t really consider opening with any other format than the tried and true “Phantom character hears Christine character singing, reaches out through the mirror to offer help” kind of formula.
A lot of it was also shaped by the venue itself. While “Rock Eden”, the live house where Teru and his band most often perform, doesn’t exist by that name, it’s basically Meguro Rock Maykan—which is a real venue, that at the time looked the way it’s described in the book and is still in the same location. And I knew from the start that that was where I wanted to set my Phantom. While most live houses are standing room only, or might have a few bar stools at the back, Rock Maykan apparently used to be an adult theater (it was certainly SOME kind of movie theater; the adult part could be an urban legend), and as of 2000, when the book is set, had these old-fashioned theatre seats (which have since been removed) and a balcony that’s off-limits to ticket holders but could be accessed by venue staff and anyone with a backstage pass. I’ve also been backstage there, and the dressing room is (or was at the time), practically wallpapered with old backstage passes and graffiti… perfect for a story that so deeply involves the ghosts of both people and dreams.
So, the mirror was that backstage mirror, and “Box Five” was going to be that balcony. Because of course no one has private dressing rooms in tiny little hole-in-the-wall venues like this, I couldn’t have Rei, my Phantom, talking to Teru directly through the mirror, but I wanted that basic formula for the opening… for better or worse. Sorry, one-star Amazon reviewer?
One of the things I always kind of imagined people would ask me once the book was a big hit (haha!) was how, exactly, Rei heard Teru singing and managed to contact him. At one point, I had written part of that scene in Rei’s point of view as well, but ended up dropping that point of view entirely (again, to the chagrin of several reviewers). Maybe someday I’ll be famous enough to get to do a Midnight Sun from his POV? XD
Anyway, if you’re interested. Teru has a backstage pass that gets him into the dressing room (and the balcony, if he wants, but he doesn’t have any reason to want to go up there until later). But Rei has access to EVERYTHING, including places where only the venue staff would be able to go, thanks to Chizuru, his assistant-slash-former hair and makeup artist, who now works part-time at Rock Eden. This is never really laid out on the page, but my sort of headcanon is that the owner/manager (who also never appears on-page) is one of the few people in the industry who knows that Rei survived the accident that disfigured him, and that Chizuru basically got the job (despite having income from elsewhere) so that she could secure access for Rei so that he could continue to scout talent. Now, I don’t ACTUALLY know what the venue-staff-only areas look like (I’ve been backstage, but as a staff member for a band, not the venue itself)… but that’s at Rock Maykan. This is Rock Eden, the fictional version, so we can go ahead and assume that there’s some kind of back hallway that can’t be accessed from the dressing room, but is separated from it by a thin wall, and that Rei heard Teru singing and talking to his bandmates from there.
These shows also used to have flyers for each band. (I’m not sure if they still do; musicals and things have definitely cut back on the amount of paper they pass out.) Fans would receive a pack of flyers when they entered the venue, and Chizuru, as staff, could easily take a pack from the pile. So Rei hears Teru singing to himself, thinks he’s got the right voice for his music, and then Yasu comes in, and they start talking. At some point, someone uses Teru’s name, and Rei asks Chizuru to get him a pack of flyers, which he uses to figure out which band Teru is in. There’s only one Teru playing that night, so he’s able to use the flyers to figure out that Teru is the drummer from La Rose Verboten, so he knows who Teru is when he comes onstage, despite having only heard his voice before.
And I think he kinda falls in love right there. He doesn’t WANT to… ohhh, there are SO many reasons he doesn’t want to, and he doesn’t dare to think that there’s any chance that ANYONE would ever love him back, but somewhere, buried deep under a lot of trauma and denial, he sees Teru onstage—and Teru LOVES being onstage, he loves music and it absolutely shines through—and Rei, despite himself, wants to talk to him.
I think there’s a lot of internal warring with himself over the course of Teru’s set, which would be maybe 20 minutes long. Rei knows he shouldn’t, it’s SUCH a bad idea to reach out to this guy who’s got this beautiful voice but also is just So Gorgeous… but he has to. And he has these business cards, because this was before you could just wave your phones at each other to exchange contact information and that was how you’d make connections, so he sucks up his fear and writes a note, and gives it to Chizuru before he can lose his nerve.
And Chizuru knew where to drop it because all of these bands are using the same dressing room, and a lot of them would have the same or similar equipment, so they write their names on electrical tape and stick it to their stuff, so she found the equipment that said Teru and La Rose Verboten and was able to leave it where he would find it. In case anyone was wondering.
The actual structure of the chapter itself… I’m still not sure if I love it. This opening was ROUGH for me to write, partially BECAUSE I knew that I was opening with kind of a cliché scene and needed to make it enough of a “hook” to make people want to read beyond that. There were literally maybe about 50 versions of it over the years, and I ended up with the current version, where the whole “hearing the beautiful voice through the mirror” thing has already happened and is being recounted as a memory in past-perfect, and the “present” of the story is Teru later that night, back in his apartment, going through the same kind of internal battle over whether he’s actually going to call this mystery number.
Of course, he does, and I think this kind of mirrors what Rei must have gone through earlier (so, maybe I should’ve kept that POV?). He KNOWS it can’t possibly be an actual talent scout or record producer… but Teru and Rei both, despite being pessimistic over a lot of things, always have a little spark of optimism buried somewhere in there, too. So he calls. And he falls in love just a little with Rei’s voice too, although he also buries that deep because he’s so firmly in denial about his sexuality at this point.
This is another point I get a LOT of flack about—how unrealistic it is that Teru would just agree to go to this guy’s apartment when they don’t know each other at all. And all I can say about that is… I definitely did similar things when I was Teru’s age (21). Was it the safest thing to do? Nope. Would I want my kids doing the same thing? Hell no, absolutely not. But do 21-year-olds do stupid things sometimes? You bet! So, yes, I have gone to the tiny Tokyo apartments of people I didn’t know very well. Including men. Including older men. And I was fine, not because that was a good decision—again, it is MOST EMPHATICALLY NOT—but because I was lucky. Like a lot of the people who do a few stupid things in their youth are.
As far as whether this fictitious character in a work of fiction is supposed to be a role model or whatever—it’s a novel for adults, about some pretty complicated and dark and occasionally messed-up stuff. (See also Rei’s struggle to accept his disabilities… is it the Best Possible Reaction™️ to the situation? Absolutely not. But you can’t say it’s not a reaction that a human being could feasibly have.) I think it’s pretty clear that I did NOT intend this to be some kind of morality lesson on how to have the perfect relationship and love yourself in the process. I understand that some readers want every bad decision to have negative consequences… in the case of Rei, I think a lot of the self-destructive behavior eventually does. But yeah, Teru does something stupid and dangerous and doesn’t suffer because of it… and that happens to real people too, every day.
I honestly think a big part of it, too, was my terrible-in-hindsight decision to list this as LGBT+ romance on Amazon. It’s a love story. It’s not a genre romance novel. These characters weren’t written to be “romantic heroes” and in the end, I do wish I had just listed it as general fiction, because I think I inadvertently set up certain stylistic, character, and plot expectations that the story was never intended to meet.
So. The beginning. I don’t really love it. But it’s certainly a hell of a lot better than the very very first draft from 2005, which was basically a shitty songfic of X Japan’s “Unfinished.” :P
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Buncha takes about Girl in the Fireplace (by someone that doesn't like it)
trying to give it as much grace as possible... there's some stuff to salvage, i think
visuals: again very beautiful episode aesthetically. even the spaceship sections which under rtd sometimes look a bit glip, with the right lighting in this ep, they rlly "pop" colonialism / hegemony: it's really uncomfortable but i don't know enough about reinette to go in depth with it. just gonna highlight the whole "this is the royal court and we're french" which is .... fittingly the point we're most asked to see reinette as a "Strong Female Character (tm)" / Girl Boss ... really sour. The Timeless Child Retroactive Continuity Bonus: the doctor's loneliness is made more poignant by being not "the last of their kind" but "the only one of their kind"
recurrent s2 themes: (this is what i was talking abt in theo ther post...) the clockwork fail because "it has not purpose now" perhaps this could be symbolism for monarchism in general, in face of a new, modern world? monarchies are well-oiled, intricate machines, socially speaking. they have rituals and customs and complex genealogies (hey, stowe armorial... amirite ladies... #crackin'heraldryhumor). but w/ the advancement of the productive forces, they "lost their purpose". the uk continues to have a monarchy to this day, but it is not longer the effective, purposeful machine it was was, rather it is an appendage or a relic of a more advanced system (bourgeois capitalism). one it has to cannibalize in parts to survive. also, the obvious visual of a highly-intricate "machine" that is made up of depreciated tech (clockwork). here's another: i saw an interesting meta that this ep could be read as a mirror of school reunion: in SR we see rose gripping w/ the reality of the doctor eventually outliving her, and here we see via reinette the doctor's pov of having to endure watching all their lovers "witter and die"except romana bc she just dumps him lol
i think this improves a bit on the seeming disjointedness of both eps and how disjointed it feels from the rest of s2.
relatedly, im also headcanon fix-ing it that this whole stint 10 pulls of "finding a mistress" (as it's very pointedly parallel'd in several scenes like him showing up late and "drunk" and rose being casted as the "nagging wife")(oooo resist negativity urges RESIST), is a direct example of him having a classic commitment-phobic panic, following SR.
there's an interesting theme/repeating motif in this ep (And later we see it repeated in moffat's seasons) about dreams and nightmares. (clockwork guys as reintte's+ the doctor as the clockwork's) idk how to tie it together as a Meaning or Theses yet but some interesting implications about it:
- the monsters we see in this ep are framed as nightmares (the doctor looks under the bed of kid!reinette to find the first clockwork robot)... what are nightmares? nightmares aren't real, but they also tell us something real about what we fear when awake. when these stories turn the imaginary into the real, there's a kind of symbolism in that "any fear we have can be faced and defeated" - kind of stealing this from another meta i read lol but: the monsters as fantasy vs grief as a reality, and the metatextual tension of having very real things like unavoidable death in a show with a "dashing, scifi hero that always defeats the scary monsters",,, - there's a negative asshole way to point out how similar reinette's "tragic ending" / arc is to a lot of... other storylines in moffat's who lol but i'm gonna try to spin it in the more positive, curious, "good faith" way: what is moffat trying to explore or say when he has characters always "missing" each other by the whims of time? sometimes by displacement, other time by "missing the timing" / "being too slow"? perhaps it is a call to be more prescient, and these are not just stories about tragedies... but cautionary tales about not taking actions / living life when one's called to live it (see river, amy, reinette, sally's friends,,,).
AND FINALLY, i had to really dig deep, but this is the one that salvages the episode i think, and why i wont *totally* discard it from my mental canon in the future: the traditional, surface interpretation of the ending is that it is "tragic" because ten doesn't go to reinette because she's dying/has died.... and once he has landed there, it is too late. the fireplace was tragically out of synch with his life....
however, let's push that further why doesn't he just go back a lil' earlier? why doesn't eleven just tell amy and rory to write a fake letter and put up a fake tombstone? the answer could be [bc time travel lore reasons!!].,,, BUT there's a potentially interesting and complex alternative reading: ten chose to not see reinette in her sickness. there was nothing impending him from seeing her again once he was back in the tardis. but much like with their companions that they can always locate if they wanted to, the doctor knows there's it's kind of pointless, kind of artificial, kind of cheating to manipulate time to get as much out of a human lifespan as possible. and it is a pointless act, because in the end he'll have to say goodbye anyway. and like he told sarah jane... "he just couldn't come back". so this this a self kindness he gives himself. to let reinette be just a fiery affair with a tragically beautiful woman he had "no control over" and could not comfort in her sickness/withering. perhaps unconsciously, this is a way he finds to not Deal with what the implications of this little "affair" means for his relationship w/ rose, and how he may have to make the same choice again in the future.
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hauntedpearl · 2 years
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I mean I love my dadstiel and dad!dean content, but I will still maintaining that sam & jack's dynamic is just. like. SO underrated!!! there's literally no one else who could relate to jack more, who could show him the ropes better, than sam. he's been there. from having incomprehensible (for him) powers to having the scorn of his family to like. fighting to be good, despite it all. because underneath it all, he is!! and like he sees that struggle in jack because he's lived through it, and like!!!! he wants to save him!!!! he wants him to have a chance, at the very least!!! like!!! THAT'S HIS KID TOO!!!!
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gogolstoelicker · 2 years
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👁️👁️ can we get an Dazai!MC with the dorm leaders for twisted wonderland?
Something about him just nullifying there abilities out of nowhere is so funny to me
Dorm Leaders with a Dazai!MC
warning(s): none
notes: honestly imagine thinking u got the magicless human and the thing that disappeared is ur magic and not the human. i would crawl into a hole and never return
A carefree individual, you often disappear in the middle of work or show up very late, prank your coworkers instead of doing your work and flirt with random attractive customers. Often described as annoying by your coworkers.
However, you're more than what meets the eye. Sharp and intellectual, you can see lies and trickery from afar. Always a few steps above everyone, you're able to outwit your enemies easily, a cunning one it seems.
Riddle:
...say it with me everyone?
he hates you.
plain and simple, he hates you
you don't get any homework done, you flirt with random people you walked past and you prank the people you know daily
the amount of rules you've broken makes riddle wants to rip his hair out
you probably got collared everyday LMFOAOAOAO
and then u just touch it and it disappeared and everyone's like😮😦
his cancelling magic vs ur cancelling magic fight round 1‼️‼️
imagine everyone's surprise when you defeated an overblot with just a touch lmfao
"don't worry guys, i can change him," you said walking towards the overblot riddle
"???!!!!????$@@$+//" is your friends' reactions.
but that'll be too easy and i like taking roundabouts so let's say an overblot is just like Lovecraft, where no longer human don't work on them
that's fine you can still work with this!!
so you pointed out his weak points while ur friends work their magic on him
which is literally what the original mc did(dazai secret twst mc?!)
well he doesn't hate u as much after the whole overblot incident but u still got collared anyway‼️he just gain an appreciation for you‼️
Leona:
ah yes
lazy and lazy, procrastinator and procrastinator
you guys might as well join forces as the new team rocket
honestly he probably met you while you're out skipping class
i mean you can be annoying but at least you didn't nag him about going to class?
well the whole students getting injuries before a game incident started and crowley asked you to investigate it
you probably already had your suspicions on him so like
ok so yknow the thing that happened before his overblot?
where sand just sand
or people sand how to explain
u probably got near to leona and touch him and everything is ok again
honestly he's not over it
imagine telling ur brocken dark past while threatening to turn others into sand and it just
disappeared with a touch by a magicless human
another reason to overblot ig /hj
well after the whole incident, he just always yells at himself in the mirror for what happened bc it's kind of embarrassing
well not literally ofc
class skippers duo❔
Azul:
hasn't heard of your nullifying ability so good for you
ur friends went and go and cause troubles as always but this time with this man
so now you're forced to talk to him bc of crowley and ur 3 friends who shared a braincell
imagine u trying to touch him so u can nullify his magic and him noticing that and just moving out of the way every single time
and it became a small game of tap and avoid
and he just went "what are u trying?^^"
and u just go "ur clothes looks pretty, i wanna touch it^^"
there's probably a small tension between u two not in a good way don't twist my words /hj
u failed to touch him bc of his two bodyguards and him being him:(
so now you're forced to follow the storyline oh sevens no: (
i had a funny vision and that is Jack launching the reader to Floyd to stop his unique magic
well i mean at least it worked‼️who would've guessed your enemy will throw their own friend to you amirite
they snitch to azul
azul: 👓✨they can... what?
pls expect azul to look at u like this even after his overblot (he wants that ability of urs)
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Kalim:
u dragged him into ur mess every time
jamil have to stop u or kalim every single time
well mostly bc you're a menace who keeps on using kalim's naivety and obviousness
it's funny to you, it's not to jamil
kalim in between like "😁✨❔❔"
(that sparkle bc i love kalim he's so cute i would give him the world he's just so precious i would give him the entire world if he asked for it (even tho he probably have more money to buy the world than me)have i mentioned I'll give him the entire world?)
anyways, poor kalim is dragged into ur whims everyday
well at least he's not harmed in any way so +1 point for u for that
-1 bc jamil is going to rip off your head if u keep doing this to kalim
overall, best buddies
he accepts u as u are + thinks you're cool
you accept him as he is and used him for ur own amusement + thinks he's cool
YEAH‼️‼️
jamil:
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Vil:
oh god- i mean sevens
(is there any god in twisted wonderland that they worshipped or-?)
looks at u like this😐 if he ever walkes past you
and the way you don't even try in anything is making him go😒
but you see him and noticed how he feels about you as a whole and go ✨👅✨
is this a new person u can bother?
BACK OFF SATAN🤺🤺
the way u randomly came to bother him makes him wanna go feral
in a bad way
well now since you're trying so hard to bother him, he might as well change how u carry urself
START CARING ABOUT UR OWN APPEARANCE WILL U
literally fuss over it everyday when u appear in front of him to bother him
Idia:
ah yes, another target
idia cowers in fear whenever he saw u
bc u will surely ran up to him with that evil face of urs to bother him
YOU CAME OUTTA NOWHERE TOO
and u somehow knows whenever he's there
"i can sense idia is near (an empath)" - you probably
he cries a little inside whenever he sees u on the camera (when he's not going to class physically) (like always)
AND IT'S LIKE U KNOW HE'S LOOKING AT U BC U WAVED AT THE CAMERA
idia is scared
but you're having fun so
poor idia is having no rest
but no matter how much of a menace u are, thankfully u didnt drag him out
"look who finally decided to come out of their room?" -you
idia:
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Malleus:
probably knows he's malleus draconia from the start too
doesn't care
probably made him into a sigma but without using him yes
literally yoinked him and danced with him out of nowhere when he tried to teleport away
so it cancelled out his teleportaction magic and he goes 😮⁉️
"did u do this?✨👄✨"
he looks so excited
bc like yes‼️is someone finally going to be even with him or maybe surpass his magic???
finds out you're magicless and is even more interested and amused
you're stuck with him now
he have taken u in as his best friend, no backing down now
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xpeachesncream · 3 years
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how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)
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summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?
pairing: jjk x reader
genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst
words: ~12.2k
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)
note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--
both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece
i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video
enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺
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"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.
"Yes?"
"Can I nap in your room?"
"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.
"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.
"You're lucky I like you."
"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."
"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.
Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.
"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.
"When's your next class, you little baby?"
"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"
"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.
You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more. 
But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.
And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.
Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.
Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.
Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.
It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.
"Class time."
"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"
"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."
"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."
"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.
"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"
"I said I'd think about it right?"
"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."
"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.
"Just come for a little bit."
"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."
"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.
"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."
"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.
"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.
"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"
"Sure. If you pay." He groans
"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.
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Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.
Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.
"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.
"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—
"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"
"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.
"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.
"Shut up, Jungkook—"
"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."
"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.
"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.
"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."
"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.
After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier.  The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.
"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.
"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."
"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"
"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."
"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.
"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.
"Should be holy water because you all need it."
"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.
"How many people are you expecting?"
"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."
"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."
"They're invited too."
"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"
"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."
"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.
He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"
"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."
"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.
"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.
"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.
"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."
"It sounds like you want to."
"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.
"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."
"Yesssss! I do."
"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."
"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].
And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.
"I'm back!"
"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.
"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.
"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."
"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.
"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"
"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.
"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.
Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.
Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.
"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.
"Yeah, good idea."
"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."
"Can I join?" His eyes light up.
"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.
While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.
"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.
"You smell just like me." You chuckle.
"It's great, isn't it?"
"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.
"No, I'll be good."
"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.
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"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.
"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."
"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.
"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.
"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.
"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.
"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."
"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."
"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."
"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.
"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"
"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?
"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."
"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.
"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."
"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?
Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.
Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.
Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.
"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.
"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"
"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."
"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."
"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.
"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."
"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.
He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.
Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.
"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.
"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.
"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."
"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.
"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.
"What the fuck?"
"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.
"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."
"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"
"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.
And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.
10 drinks.
10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.
"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.
"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.
You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.
But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.
"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.
"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."
"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.
"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.
"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.
"Y-yes." You whine.
"Say it again."
"All for you, Kook."
"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.
"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.
"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.
"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.
"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.
The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.
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You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.
No.
That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.
Nothing.
Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.
The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.
Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'
Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.
Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.
And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.
"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.
"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.
"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.
"Y/N—"
"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.
"I never said—"
"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.
Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.
You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.
"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.
"Y/N, wait. Stop."
"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.
"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.
"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.
"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"
"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.
Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.
This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.
You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.
Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?
"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body.  "Just got out of practice?"
"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.
"How was it?"
"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."
"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.
"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.
"What time is it at?"
"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.
"Sure. I'll come."
"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.
"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"
"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.
"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."
"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.
"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."
"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me how it goes!"
"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.
You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.
To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.
To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.
The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.
Gross.
Messy, indeed.
Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.
"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?
"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."
"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.
"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"
"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"
"Who the hell said that?"
"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"
"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.
"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."
"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.
Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.
God.
You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.
Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.
"Hello? Y/N?"
"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"
"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.
"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.
"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.
You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.
I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?
He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.
Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.
Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.
But he can tell.
"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.
"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.
"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.
"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"
"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.
"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."
"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"
"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."
"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.
"Wait."
"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the  head of his chair while he turns to you.
"Can you just lay with me?"
"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"
"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.
"Y/N."
"Yeah?"
"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"
"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.
"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."
"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.
"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.
"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.
"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."
"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.
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"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.
"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.
"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.
"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.
"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.
And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.
But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.
And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.
Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.
The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.
"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.
Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.
That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.
Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.
And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.
"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.
"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.
"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"
"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.
"Yeah, I was."
"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"
"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."
"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.
"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.
And he gets that.
His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.
"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.
"Hm?"
"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.
"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.
"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.
"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.
"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.
"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.
"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.
"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.
"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.
"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.
"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.
"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.
"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.
"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.
"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.
"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."
"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.
"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.
"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.
You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.
"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.
"I love you too." You giggle.
"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.
"Shut up."
"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.
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curiousabbisfate · 2 years
Text
CAMILO HCs BECAUSE HES THE BEST (ENCANTO)
okay okay so. camilo madrigal, amirite. (this got kinda long, oops)
i recently watched the movie and HOOOOOOOO BOY
*SLAPS CAMILO’S BACK* THIS BAD BOY CAN FIT IN SO MANY HEADCANONS.
THE MOMENT THE MOVIE ENDED, I HAD SO HCS FOR CAMILO IDC IF HE GOT LIKE 5 MIN SCREENTIME SO I HAD TO WRITE THEM DOWN SOMEWHERE. so my hcs for camilo specifically are these:
- Camilo has an ENTIRE area/space in his bedroom that contains little things he found while he was someone else; am i saying he is a thief? no, i am not. (maybe.) BUT WHAT IM SAYING IS SOMETIMES HE KEEPS THEM OKAY. Or maybe he asks for them politely. like the good kid he is.
- Camilo’s room has SO MANY mirrors (maybe even a WHOLE room of it) and people think its bc hes narcissistic BUT NO. its so he doesnt forget what his true self looks like. because of how frequent he is acting like someone else, somewhere deep down he’s afraid of forgetting himself. so. mirrors
- Adding to the one above, maybe he gave himself a rule that he cant shapeshift into someone else while in his room. 
- ONTO ONE OF MY FAVORITES. (my thoughts is that camilo can somewhat Also attain the person’s abilities/skills) Camilo just has these really RANDOM interests for so many random shit like sewing, drawing, singing, dancing, cooking/baking, writing etc etc. at this point, the madrigal family is used to it and they all indulge him (imagine maribel teaching camilo how to sew, and add isa who teaches camilo how to make flower crowns and then camilo gets this great idea to sew REAL flowers into a piece of clothing hes sewing himself) (maybe isa made the flowers immortal)
- adding to the above, Camilo gets really interested in the randomest hobbies but the THING is... HES BAD AT THEM. SO BAD. LIKE GEN Z TALKING ABOUT EMOTIONS BAD. /LH. anyways what i mean is that everything he does is done AWFULLY, but. but camilo LOVES it. literally adores anything and everything he creates. because you know what? he made these *gestures wildly to badly sewn scarves, overcooked pies, near incomprehensible doodles, and more* HE MADE ALL OF THAT. AND HES SO PROUD OF IT!!!! 
bc it was by HIM and HIM ONLY. made by his inexperienced hands, made by his small hands, made by his unpracticed hands. hes so proud of them because its HIS only, okay?? nobody elses. (at an angle, this is his own way of making sure he still knows himself and can do things not influenced by the people he shapeshifts into.) he loves them all dearly. and keeps them in his room like theyre his trophies and medals of the fucking century. 
THATS ALL I HAVE (FOR NOW?) I HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING ALL THAT SHIT. HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT
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duckymcdoorknob · 3 years
Text
Completely Random Things Your Karasuno Boyfriend Flustered By.
Can y’all tell I’m a Karasuno simp?
I also know their characters the best KSNSKSN
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—— ☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾ ——
Third Years:
𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚒: 𝑅𝑎𝑤 𝑇𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡
Alright let me elaborate.
Daichi finds it so enamoring when you’re completely impeccable at what you do.
If you’re a drummer and you can play with no mistakes? Sweet mercy baby boy is b l u s h i n.
Decorating baked goods perfectly just floors him.
He’s easily impressed by anything you do because you always do it SO PERFECTLY.
Crocheting? Crochet him a little friend to put in his locker and he will look at it every time he grabs his books.
He almost dies trying to receive your serves because your form is just too good and it’s making him so proud and so flustered.
“C’mon cap, my serves aren’t that good, you have to be off your game.”
And he’s up front about it.
“Hard to be on my game if you’re gonna look so good while serving for me.”
𝙰𝚜𝚊𝚑𝚒: 𝑇𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝐶ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑚
Like do y’all know that trend where people tie knots with their mouths?
Cherry stems, twist ties, string, twine etc.
You did it once to try and see if you could...
Asahi literally sputtered and stumbled backwards.
“Something wrong, babe?”
“N-nothing!”
So of course you keep trying to master it and eventually you can do it hella fast.
You did it super fast for him and he hid his blushing face in his hands.
Now you do it whenever you want to get him all flustered.
𝚂𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚊: 𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑡ℎ
Okay just bear with me here.
He finds it so hot when both of your hands are full so you hold shit with your teeth.
Like
Putting up your hair if it’s long?
Hold the hair tie in btwn your teeth and man is so flustered.
Need to tie your shoes and you’re going to practice?
Put your key lanyard in btwn your teeth and he’s gonna die.
Putting a safety pin on his clothes and you got it in between your teeth?
He won’t be able to sit still.
“Baby you gotta hold it with your hands.”
“But why?”
“JUST DO IT-“
Second Years:
𝚃𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚔𝚊: 𝐷𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔.
Oh boy
This mans
He’s all hot and bothered being your passenger.
Looking in your side mirror to change lanes?
HOT
Looking over your shoulder to check your blind spot?
LAWD HAVE MERCY
Hand on the headrest as you reverse?
PLS YOU’RE GONNA KILL HIM
Stealing a glance at him in the rear view?
TANAKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
𝙽𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚊: 𝑉𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒
I HC THIS MOTHERFUCKER WITH A VOICE KINK
Bruh self projection amirite aha
Like I’m just saying,
Morning voice absolutely fucking destroys him.
He will actually yelp in agony.
Blushy blushy blushy time dude.
One time at practice he was teasing Asahi. You knew just the way to get him back.
“C’mon ace, it’s okay to admit it.”
You had no idea what Asahi was needing to admit, but he was clearly flustered.
You trudged up to Noya, placed the gentlest hand on the small of his back, and in your lowest, prettiest voice said.
“Come on pretty boy. Don’t be such a tease.”
Followed by the tiniest giggle.
Nishinoya genuinely tensed, hid his beet red face in his hands and fell forward into Asahi’s chest.
“They’re going to freaking kill me, Asahi.” he mumbled, voice about 3 octaves higher.
𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚊: 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙
Again, don’t know shit about this guy.
But I rlly feel like he would adore an S/O who’s just got a really strong personality.
Please give the team a pep talk before matches and he will just die of blush.
He’s so proud of you and it makes him feel so blessed to even know you.
Please boss him around and tell him to do his homework.
Wholly be a nag
Please
He will literally whine without it
BUT WILL TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE THAT HE WANTS TO BE BOSSED AROUND
it’s not a kink thing, he just likes to feel loved and supported.
𝙽𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚊: 𝐹𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑆/𝑂
Just like Kinoshita, don’t know Jack shit abt him.
I feel like he gets really blushy and flustered when his partner is wholly engulfed in something they’re doing.
ESPECIALLY IF IT’S SOMETHING THAT YOU’RE REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT.
If you’re really focused while doing your favorite hobby,
Tongue gently poking out and compeltely blank stare,
Like pls baby will just crumble.
𝙴𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚊: 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠s
LMFAO POOR GUY
If he sees you even hold a baby he’s gone.
Babysitting a little cousin, a family friend, your own sibling together?
Dude please he will probably make you put the baby to bed early, so he could kiss you and ramble about how sweet you look with a baby.
Baby parent fever.
Like he just wants to see you with a baby all the time.
Bonus points if it’s both of yours. Together.
He saw you being so parental one time he simply left the room to hide his blush.
You were packing lunch for your nephew to take to school.
But you were writing him a little note to leave on a treat he wasn’t aware he was receiving.
“I can sense you Chi, what’s going on?”
“N-nothing.”
First Years:
𝚃𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊: 𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔
Mans ADORES your singing voice.
Regardless of your skill level, it just relaxes him so much.
He instantly tenses up hearing your delicate voice, blushy blushy time.
Like BIG TIME flusto.
He drops what he’s doing to listen intently.
If you sing a sexy song, it’s absolutely fuckin over for him.
He cannot process anymore and will look anywhere but you.
May be ooc but I hc that if you perform a really powerful ballad song like Sondheim’s Being Alive he will actually start crying.
He lets his guard down because he just genuinely can’t handle how beautiful you are and how beautiful your voice is.
He will punch Hinata for teasing him, but the tears never leave his eyes and a smile never leaves his face.
𝚈𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒: 𝐷𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠
Such a sweet boy.
He sees you making the bed?
Boom blushy boii. He just wants to tackle you on it and pepper you with kisses.
Wiping down the countertop?
He’ll come behind you and just hug you, planting his head in the crook of your neck.
Cooking dinner?
Oh PLSSS he will actually die of blushy blush.
He just finds it so enamoring because I wholly headcannon his love language as acts of service.
One time he genuinely cried in front of you because you helped him out of his uniform after a vigorous practice, drew him a bath and put his pajamas in the drier for them to be warm.
Like he started tearing up and sniffling as you held out the warm clothes and you were just like 😨???
𝙷𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊: 𝐽𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡 𝑃𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔
Lol poor baby boy.
Please he finds it so attractive when you like crack your knuckles before you get to work on something rigorous.
Turning in your desk to just crack your back after a long class?
Shoot him a wink while you stretch and he will just pass out.
One time you were going to help him and Kags set after practice.
“Oy, (Y/N), Hinata is frothing at the mouth here. Hurry up.”
“One second!”
Cue you cracking your neck, stretching, then popping your knuckles.
“I’m ready.”
“... wait! U-um. Maybe a-another minute.”
Kageyama totally bullied him for it.
𝙺𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚊: 𝑆𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆/𝑂
Oh shit. Poor guy.
Please don’t fall asleep.
Not on him
Not by him
Not on a call with him
Not in his line of sight
You get it
But he just genuinely doesn’t know how to react without waking you up.
So yeah he gets super flustered if you fall asleep. Especially if you fall on his chest,
“KAGEYA-“
“shh!” He pointed downward.
“Oh... oooohhhh got it.”
“Can you please pass me my coat? T-they’re shivering.”
“Aww does Kageyama care about his partn-“
“Shut it.” He hissed as you stirred under his gentle touches, “j-just.”
“Awww Baka is totally blushing... here.”
——————✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞——————
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Episode 17 is a great reminder of how beautifully Vincenzo is shot (does anyone know the cinematographer of the show?) and how the camerawork isn't pretty just for the heck of it, but carefully thought through. Like in this shot of Vincenzo getting ready after his mother's funeral is over, the scene gives you a sense of his determination. The door frame and the mirror both subtly communicate that he's not looking at a bigger picture, but that his perspective is now in narrow focus. There's just one thing he's intent upon doing — avenging his mother's murder by bringing Babel down.
And looking supremely hot while tying his tie, but that's a separate matter entirely.
But since we're on that subject, let's just digress for a moment because lords above, how pretty is this man... .
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Coming back to the cinematography, it's a poignant detail to have Vincenzo bring the snack that connected mother and son to put on her grave.
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But also, if you notice, the only thing in sharp focus is the flower on the cup, underlining the idea that this is an homage to his mum.
I also loved the way this shot blended the river by which Vincenzo wept with the interiors of his apartment. Aside from the symbolism about the river of life, the river coming into his home blends the physical landscape against which we see his grief with his emotional landscape.
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This shot was also so beautiful, showing the darkness surrounding Vincenzo as he remembers his mother, as though those memories are the warm light that (barely) keep the darkness at bay.
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I'm certain that gorgeous shot at the ice rink is supposed to not just remind us of the contrast with the previous, playful scene at the same location, but also reference the chess game that Vincenzo talked about with Han-Seok/ Jun-Woo.
And finally, Vincenzo lying against an icy grey and white background, in a pool of blood, mirroring the memories/ dreams he has of people he's killed in the past, is just stunning.
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The imagery and symbolism is enough to make me at least ignore the fact that considering where Han-Seo was standing, for him to shoot that precise spot on Vincenzo's person would require the laws of physics to give up the ghost.
But that's ok. Because hello, obviously it's not like Vincenzo is actually dead, amirite? I mean, there are three more episodes (and rumours of a whole second season) so really... .
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broadwayandnetflix · 3 years
Note
OMG- BO FIC REQUEST
a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.
Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader
Warnings: Language
Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.
Word Count: 2.6k
A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.
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It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.
Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.
The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.
He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.
It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.
It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.
So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.
The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.
Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.
Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.
You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.
“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.
Bo.
You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.
News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.
“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.
God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.
He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.
Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.
Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.
The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.
“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.
“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.
“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.
“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.
This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.
Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?
It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.
“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.
“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.
“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”
-
It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.
Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.
It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.
“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.
“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.
“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.
“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.
“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.
“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.
“What?”
“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.
Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.
Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?
“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.
“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.
-
It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.
You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.
God, you missed those.
“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.
Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.
The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.
“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.
Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.
All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.
Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.
The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.
-
“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.
You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.
There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.
You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.
You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.
“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.
“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.
The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.
You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.
“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.
“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.
“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.
“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.
“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.
“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.
-
It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.
Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.
“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.
You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.
Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.
You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.
“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.
He did.
Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.
He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.
The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.
“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.
“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.
“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.
“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.
The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.
It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.
It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.
The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.
Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.
The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.
You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.
All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.
He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.
Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.
As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.
His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.
When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.
“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.
“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.
With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.
Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.
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this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao
ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so
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you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry
and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)
anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.
after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)
he is trying to be this person at every second:
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because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.
oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD
examples:
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there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.
oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.
and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])
i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say
ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.
allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])
prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.
also this picture.
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what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross
he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.
oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about
(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)
1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING
2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH
3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are
like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.
god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)
so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’
i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao
ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case
jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:
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and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)
something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:
ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.
and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.
‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.
i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.
i mean:
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and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao
oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir
the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it
or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’
OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um
and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will
OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!
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guess who’s back, back again
it’s time to talk about the place Dean and Sam visit in 14x20: Moriah.  Yes, the -
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Mirror Universe.
A very specific title for a company that creates facial recognition software.  
[My deepest gratitude to @goth-dean​​ for quickly spitting out these screen caps for me.  Also - 
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say THAT, bestie.]
Hop on this cursed ride, after the cut!
I hope we are all now at the point where we are aware that SPN uses narrative mirrors regularly as part of its story telling structure.  Just in case we aren’t aware of this, we do quickly get a bit right when Sam and Dean arrive at the Mirror Universe, when a man on a scooter appears and we get the following script -
DEAN: Nerds.
SAM: Takes one to know one.
DEAN: What?
SAM: You. Come on, man. You're always calling me a geek, but you know every word to every Led Zeppelin song -- backwards and forwards -- you can discuss in detail every major rock drummer between '67 and '84, and... you watch "Jeopardy!" every night.
DEAN: Okay. All right, yeah.
***thus further hammering in the point that this episode is absolutely using narrative mirrors.
But who are the mirrors?  To find out, we have to go back to a scene from 14x19: Jack in the Box.
Cas arrives with the following news:
CASTIEL Sam. Dean. There's news. Dumah was manipulating Jack into doing those things. She told him it would please you.
***manipulation is an important theme to remember.
Dean does not care.  He is still grieving and angry about Mary’s death.
***this is also an important theme to remember.
Dean reveals to Cas that they locked Jack in the Ma’lak box.  He notes that Jack even agreed to it.
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(and he is.  the entire plot line in the first part of this episode is about manipulating Jack to say yes and get in the box).  
Now, please jump ahead with me to this specific scene in 14x20 where Chuck tells Dean, Sam, and Cas one of them has to shoot Jack with his stupid little gun.
Cas wants Chuck to restore Jack’s soul.  Chuck says he can’t, then he adds this (glancing btw specifically towards Dean).
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***What Jack did = Mary’s death.
Cas keeps arguing but Dean is resigned - 
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[sorry for that atrocity spelling]
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Since when is there no other way?  This is manipulation.  Chuck is manipulating Dean.  Just like Dumah, and then Dean - in turn, manipulated Jack. 
Jack is a Dean mirror in 14x20.
Don’t believe me?  Have this BONUS:
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So now that we have established this, let’s go back to the first part of 14x20 where we have the following chaos in the spn writer’s room Mirror Universe workspace because no one can lie.
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Please look at what they specifically named the news anchor in this scene.
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Why Jack?  Can’t be because he is a Dean mirror amirite? Can’t be.
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Also, they specifically add this. He’s always loved her.
Who at this point has said I love you to Dean (even if indirectly), but hasn’t heard it back?  
12x12: Stuck In The Middle With You
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[source]
Who would want to hear the I’ve always loved you?
Just to hammer in this point the scene cuts to -
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This is what Dean should have said to Cas in season 15.  I am once again asking why they did this.  Why bring this dialogue into an episode about mirrors and narrative parallels, an episode where the characters cannot lie.  Why do this?  Why name the anchor Jack?  Why Mirror Universe?  
WHY?  
I posit to you it’s EITHER
1) because the original intention was for this to be mirrored narratively in the finale
2) someone wanted it in the finale but knew that wouldn’t happen so they put it in here to show what could have been.   
Dabb wrote this btw he wrote this in here.  Dabb I am once again asking for a minute of your time.
“You’re reaching though,” (Jim Gaffigan voice).  SPN doesn’t parallel dialogue THIS blatantly.  
12x12 again:
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[source] Does it?
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You and me both, D.W.
***if we consider that Chuck also represents the irl network, and Chuck is manipulating here, it’s even worse isn’t it...
Anyway, that’s what I’ll be thinking about the rest of the day.  Grab a tin hat and come join me.
P.S.
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I humbly accept.
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