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#like that and im too scared to start a conversation with anyone new on tumblr about it
torhues · 1 year
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hello !!! i'm a... Writer 😳 here on tumblr ! n i love ur works so much even tho it hurts me to read angst no comfort 😭 but anyway!! realised u have a lot of fellow writer??moots?? so i just wanted to ask do u have any advice to make friends on tumblr? do u just like ... slide into dms or 😳
- a shy gorl 😔
bff i am sorry i just love writing angst w no comfort and smile menacingly while reading comments ab how devastated the readers are 😩💕 JOKES ASIDE . thank u for reading them skskks ALSO ADVICE HELPP please don't have high expectations i am literally scared to text every single person on this app ( minus a few close moots ofc !! ) tbh i moved blogs and had over 100 moots on my old one ( u see i've been here for almost 2 years ) and most of the moots here r from the old blog so i cant say i made them all after making this acc, i collected them slowly and gradually ( tbh ive made 2 new moots after starting this acc that's it )
anyway u can start by interacting with their content ( im assuming u want to make writer moots as well ??? if not, just send them an ask w greetings ) like, starting dropping comments or leaving reviews in tags works too bc i'm pretty sure you, as a writer, would know the users of a couple few readers that frequently leave feedbacks ( idk i think of this as a cheat code or smn like make !! them !! aware !! of !! ur !! presence !! )
also, to avoid all that, just send them an ask ab 1. their theme 2. a work that u like 3. one of their interests that is also ur interest ? ( in case u dont know what to talk ab ) there's no other way around this, u have to initiate the conversation here </3
also, do not directly message anyone unless you're moots !! and i'd say, ask if it's ok to dm ur moots too bc some ppl don't really like that, or simply, many don't check dms that often :/ yeah that's all if good luck socialising 🫱🏻‍🫲🏻
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streetlightsunrise · 4 years
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Fuck hunting and building things, cross-stitch is the hobby of a Real Man
#hey look trick’s trying to justify his feminine hobbies again#i might have to rant here sorry#tw dysphoria in the tags#i just feel like im faking it#you know? like logically i know that wearing skirts sometimes and liking cross-stitch/sewing/cooking doesn’t invalidate my gender because#those things have only been gendered by society but it’s still hard breaking that thought pattern and i’m still constantly thinking that im#not actually a guy because i like those things and im just faking it to get attention#like my mum said she thought i was probably just a butch lesbian with internalised homophobia so i thought i had to be a guy#i know it’s just because she’s not well-informed and not out of any malice or transphobia but it still got to me and im terrified that that’#what i am and ive been faking it this whole time#i like dysphoria even though it makes me feel really really terrible because at least it means im telling the truth? but recently ive been#happier in my presentation and i haven’t felt dysphoria in a while and it’s making me think that it was just a phase#am i still trans if all im getting is gender euphoria? am i actually just happy about looking like a lesbian rahter than being happy about#looking almost cis-passing masc?#and ive been finding a lot more male role models who wear nail polish and talking about feelings and basically breaking down toxic masculine#stereotypes and im kind of trying to emulate them to feel better about myself#(this is a fancy way of saying im a patty walters/kellin quinn/maxx danziger kinnie yes)#but like they’re naturally masculine as they were born and i have to work for it so it doesn’t seem right#idk its all very confusing and im very upset about it and i wish i had someone to talk to about it but none of my friends deal with stuff#like that and im too scared to start a conversation with anyone new on tumblr about it#ocd adhd and anxiety? how fun#sorry for ranting so much#trick n’ gender
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nobutfredweasleytho · 3 years
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YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)
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Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.
Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you
(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)
Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.
“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”
“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.
“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.
“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”
“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”
Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.
“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.
“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”
Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”
The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.
“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?
“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.
The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.
Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.
Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.
The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.
A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.
The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.
Dear Freddie,
I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.
But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.
But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.
The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.
You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.
You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.
That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.
You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.
Did you think about her the first time we slept together?
Was I not enough for you Freddie?
Was I too clingy too soon?
Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?
So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.
I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.
I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.
I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.
I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.
I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.
Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.
Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.
Have a nice life,
Y/N
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galaticrow546 · 3 years
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Breaking news: local artist finally finishes another fic he started and actually tried his best ( also breaking news: i actually write fics, i just dont finish many of them :') )
Anyways here is a little thing i wrote ( quite badly but i tried ) about the Idea of "Dream is small but he still get to keep his memories"
Its so hard to edit the story on Tumblr mobile what ;-;-
Btw i forgot mostly of what happened in OSD so It might be a little strange sorry-
Anyways, OSD belongs to @calcium-cat
Pain, thats all Dream felt for a moment, he twisted and shifted, trying to make the pain go away, even If It was for a while, It was also really dark too, he has no Idea what Night made him drink, but he doesnt feel good.
He felt panic as he noticed his conscience slipping away, as he panicked around, he felt a huge pain going through his entire body as he fainted.
After moments, he woke up again, as he slowly got up, he kept hissing at the pain that still jolted through his entire body:
-"Ugh, this sucks" thought the little guardian, "I wonder what Night gave me", as he thought, he opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times before brushing his hands on his face to try and stir himself more awake, but he swears his hands felt...different.
As he opened his eyes, he took a glimpse at his hands, his tiny gloved hands looked smaller than usual, he turned around slowly to find his oversized clothes laying around him, and the clothes he was wearing weirdly looked like the clothes he wore when he was younger, as the realization crept in, Dream slowly realized what just happened, as panic began to grow inside him, he nervously touched his own hand and face while searching for a mirror.
It didnt take long before he found a small, partially broken mirror laying around the room he was in:
-"...It's becoming increasily obvious...I can deny It no longer…"
And, with a tired and defeated breath, Dream spurted out:
-"I am small"
Dream sat back while crossing his arms, how on earth would he even survive here with this size? he needed to come up with a solution fast, before anyone dangerous come-
*click*
Dream's eyes widen at the sound of the door being opened, as he panicked inside, he quickly jumped somewhere to hide, and for now, he needed to be careful to not be spotted.
-"Ugh, now to see how Dream is-"
Night paused, looking at the clothes laying around, It was silent, too silent, he walked over and grabbed a fistfull of Dream's present cape as he began searching for any trace of Dream, but his expression slowly began changing from a calm and neutral face to a worried and panicked one, he moved on from the clothes and began to search around the room, Dream cant be dead right? It was only a magic repressor he gave him after all.
Dream quietly watched from afar, and with a determined face, began to crept closer to Nightmare, ready to jump out and hopefully succeed to escape, a moment passed before Night got a surprise attack from a screaming skeleton toddler, he climbed Night in a rush while he was trying to get Dream out with force, and eventually, the guardian was caught by one of Nightmare's tentacles, as the cyan eye began analizing him, Dream tried to angrily break out of the tentacle's grasp, constantly trying to bite and punch It, It was quickly getting tiring.
Night watched the toddler scream and struggle silently, his face with an serious expression, Dream quickly looked at him angrily and tiredly as he spoke out:
-"Night...I will..ugh...I will break free, let...let me go"
Night listened silently and looked to the side like he was thinking, and with a wide grin, Night answered Dream's request:
-"...no"
Dream gave a tired sigh at the response as the silence between them remained, well, until a particular oreo came in the room in a rush:
-"Night are you ok? I heard screaming-"
Cross paused and stared at the scene, Night holding a toddler that looked like Dream on his tentacles and the toddler looking defeated and tired, It also looked so dirty too, Cross looked at Night silently and confused, Night sighed as he started:
-"Cross, believe It or not, this is Dream...yeah, i know its confusing, and i dont exactly know what happened to him, but trust me, its him"
The toddler tiredly looked up at the ex-royal guard, and shot him a tired but "ready-to-attack" glare, he knew he couldnt actually do much, but he could at least try.
Cross quickly spoke up:
-"...ok? Soooo you have no Idea what happened to him and he is just a toddler now", Night nodded calmly as the toddler looked seriously to the side, at this point, Dream just wanted to sleep, or at least take a nap, and the tentacle had a really tight grip so struggling was quite Impossible.
Night glared at Dream and gently approached him with a wide grin on his face, as Dream looked at him motherfuckerly:
-"awwww, the little kid right here wants to take a nap?" Said Night mockingly.
"No, i dont, let me go Night" spat Dream rudely.
"Not happening little pal, you're staying here until i decide what to do with you" grinned Night maliciously
Dream stayed silent at Night's response, but still kept glaring angrily at Night.
-"anyways, perhaps we should introduce our new pal here to the rest of the team since It might take a while for us to decide what to do, shall we?"
-"yeah, sure"
As Night walked towards the door, Dream looked at Cross with such a serious look that surprised Cross a little, he didnt expect the toddler to suddenly look at him while he follows Night, Cross glared at Dream back, but this only seemed to make Dream look offended, they both kept "fighting" with shooting each other daring and sometimes offensive looks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-"stop hitting me!"
Cross was having a hard time with bathing Dream, it seems that the little guy wouldnt give up so soon, It would be a miracle If he even behaved a little, but everytime Cross tried, Dream kept hitting him as hard as he can, and he also seemed very panicked whenever Cross succesfully held him, and then resorted to squirming and throwing water at him, honestly, Cross just wishes this would end soon.
-"I will not stop fighting!, leave me alone at once foul wench!"
Cross looked at him silently as Dream looked back with equal seriousness, they both stayed in silence until Cross handed him the soap and the sponge, as Cross tiredly got up to leave, Dream whispered at him silently:
-"......thank you"
Cross looked back at him with a questioning look, as Dream seemed to ignore the glare, he silently looked away as he left the bathroom, but not before whispering back:
-"......yeah...no problem"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross was eating his dinner happily, well, until Night requested him to call Dream for dinner, since he didnt come down from his room for a while, Cross lazily walked towards the room Dream was given, and then knocked on the door a few times:
-"Dream? You there buddy? Come eat dinner, hope you like soup"
The bedroom stayed silent, Cross knocked a few more times:
-"ok buddy listen, im not joking, Night is telling me to come and get you to get down for dinner"
A faint shuffling was heard from inside the bedroom, Cross waited a while before deciding to turn around the doorknob and opening the door.
All he saw was a little toddler cuddling to the blanket It was given, It looked rather happy and comfy there, but It quickly opened his eyes to stare at Cross, and in turn, shift to sit on the comfy bed he was on:
-"ah, you have returned, welcome back" greeted Dream tiredly.
Cross stared at him confused, why would he even greet him after all of the chaos that happened today, perhaps he was so tired that he gave up on the thought of attacking him? Well, If thats the case, then at least he wont have to deal with a angry Dream.
Cross approached Dream slowly and quite cautiously, as Dream looked at him boredly, the blanket he was holding was quite fluffy though.
-"um, ok so, Night told me to get you to come down for dinner, now answer me, do you like soup?"
-"...hmmmm yeah sure, soup is nice"
-"uh right"
The silence was quite awkward, Dream seemed like he calmed down, but there was still a bit of cautiousness in him, seems like they werent getting his trust so soon.
-"...so, will you come down?"
Dream looks down, thinking carefully and silently before a grumbling sound coming from his stomach (???) broke the silence, Dream got spooked by the sudden sound and made a scared squeak because of It.
As Dream took some time to calm down from the sudden spook, he slowly stared at Cross:
-"...fine, I'll come down"
-"good, follow me, or dont, its your choice"
As Cross made his way to the door, Dream quickly got down from the bed and let go of the blanket he was holding at the entire conversation, following after Cross silently.
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taketheringtolohac · 3 years
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i 100% believe miles comes out on tumblr like after rise of the ashes or something and everyone rejoices (this headcanon is sheer fucking gold btw)
Oh dear you’ve activated my trap card for this hc get ready for this because i definitely agree that Miles coming out is CELEBRATED on tumblr however it’s a LONG journey before he gets there. Before I get into it though there is a cw for briefly talking about suicide so please be mindful of that! It’s mostly in the context of the note post RFTA and people speculating what happened to Miles in his disappearance from tumblr, but I do talk about it so.
Ok here we go
So Miles is well known as That Guy on Steel Samurai tumblr who is absolutely insufferable to interact with but he writes good meta and writes even BETTER fics, but it’s the kind where something is obviously going on in this guys life and is he ok? Because it seems like he’s working through some shit and that combined with his ask answering sprees of outright denying he’s gay and just talking Like That on the internet people get a kick out of him and he’s JUST tolerable enough that people don’t really DO anything about it. He probably gets a call out post maybe like one time but it’s just by some rando who’s pretty new to the fandom and doesn’t get the sort of unspoken agreement steel samurai collective fandom has made to just put up with him despite him being absolutely dreadful.
But then all of a sudden Miles just... disappears one day out of nowhere. At first it’s just a day, then a day turns into a week, and a week turns into a month and people are like what the fuck? What happened to the iq of 127 guy? And people start writing WILD theories about what happened to him to chase him off the website because it’s like, 2016. But people start to get WORRIED when his longest running fic Updates it’s FINAL(!?) chapter and he just... kills off the Evil Magistrate. That’s when people are like oh my god did he? Did he fucking kick the bucket? Oh my god what the hell and he is just absolute radio silence on tumblr because surprise! He leaves the note in his office and then he also decides to leave tumblr at the same time because he really genuinely thinks that this is it for him.
HOWEVER. Miles also has a best friend in the Steel Samurai fandom. Someone who he met on tumblr years ago and who he enjoyed debating and conversing with who he thinks has very well thought out opinions on the show even if he doesn’t agree with all of them (he does agree with most of their points, which is why he was so open to their friendship in the first place). And they’re the ONLY person who he keeps in contact with while he’s in Europe finding himself after his breakdown.
That person is Maya Fey.
He and Maya became friends years ago and neither of them know who each other are or how old they are or really anything about each other except their screen names and more personal details that they choose to share over kik, which Miles only got because he was curious to know more about her and it was the only platform she offered. She was very hesitant about choosing to become his friend, but Maya’s fixer complex told her wow this is a broken man, maybe IM the one who’s gonna make him a better person and make him less awful. And for the first few years this had minimal success. She got him to say a few more slang terms, but really he didn’t change all that much. But she was consistently kind to him! And once you got to know him he really isn’t that bad, especially in those rare moments of emotional vulnerability he allowed himself (he was too afraid of being “found out” even though he had moved out years ago) and he could actually be a pretty fun guy.
It isn’t until Miles’s year in Europe when things really start to change. He had a very vocal crisis to her over kik that kinda freaked both of them out, and as I mentioned he stopped using tumblr entirely and Maya gets WORRIED about him and he just. Starts telling her stuff because he’s emotional. It’s the most he’s EVER told her and it’s still nothing TOO revealing because he knows how public his image is and he doesn’t want ANYONE, not even who he considers to be his closest friend, to find out who he is online because he doesn’t want to be seen as unprofessional or just general shame about his hobbies. And over the course of that year they just... slowly she keeps beating it into his head that he’s a good person! Or at the very least a FINE one who is trying to be good and that’s all that matters. And like he starts to just... internalize it. And starts listening to her advice about maybe going to therapy. And then HE starts listening to HER problems more and it becomes... a more mutual friendship. And it’s nice because he’s never had anyone like that! But he keeps talking about this guy who saved him and stuff and that’s when Maya is like woah pump the breaks dude we need to talk about how you’re definitely gay and he gets SUPER defensive about it but like over time he just. He starts to come to terms with it, and she helps him a lot but he does a lot of that work himself too.
And so when he comes back in 2-4 he’s starting to feel... better of course but also different? And more confident in himself. He still has a long way to go but he’s learning! And that’s what matters to him! But with learning and trying to be better he realizes something. He has to log back onto tumblr and actually like, apologize for being horrible. And he does just that. But when he logs back on he’s SHOCKED that he has HUNDREDS of asks a lot of them are the usual but a lot of them are also ones of like, GENUINE concern asking if he was ok and if he was still alive and he’s taken aback that people even SENT HIM kind asks when he was so awful to them.
Miles makes a really long apology/announcement post where he’s INCREDIBLY sincere and in it he OPENLY acknowledges that he was dealing with a lot of unresolved trauma and says something about how he came to terms with being gay in his absence and he thinks that that’ll be the end of it but within literal MINUTES of him posting that he’s getting asks telling him how HAPPY THEY ARE that he’s not only ok and doing better but that he came out and people WELCOMING him to the community and then there’s like posts that are like “And people then make posts like wow am I the only one who got emotional about the guy with a iq of 127s thank you post? anyone else? Just me? Ok (12.6k notes)” and “If the 127 iq guy can get better and learn to work towards being positive then you can too (54.9k notes)” within a matter of DAYS and seeing those and just
It’s weirdly SO validating for him that he was being cheered on by literally THOUSANDS of people who are celebrating his growth as a person! That are celebrating his COMING OUT when he was SO scared of that part of himself for SO long. And the fact that people were ROOTING FOR HIM even when he was the actual worst just. It makes him feel so good about himself and it makes him feel loved! So much so that he writes ANOTHER post thanking everyone for being so kind to him and telling them that things DO get better and there ARE people that appreciate them and it just... gets passed around because it’s a really inspiring and reassuring message and people just GENUINELY start to appreciate him. And it’s just a celebration of HIS character growth by THOUSANDS of people he doesn’t even know because man was he famous outside of his perceived sphere of influence due to the amount of meme material he ended up writing.
He still used tumblr and stuff after all this but he’s really calmed down a lot, he even rewrites the ending of his long running fic that caused people to panic about him. And he still answers asks and writes meta and fics and stuff, and he’s still MILES of course so he can be a bit of an ass when you disagree with him but he’s. Nicer. And happier. And that’s what matters.
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How do people make friends online it feels really weird. I tried doing it but I ghost people as I’m scared that they think I’m uninteresting. Also how do I do it in real life. I’m always told match their vibe but like how am I supposed to do that on a first convo. I think this is why i don’t have many friends and that im awkward. Pls send help
i totally get you nonnie 💕 i love making new friends but i also have major social anxiety. one thing that works for me when i start to worry about myself too much is that i would shift the focus to the other person. listen. ask them questions and really listen. and then you'll chime in and respond whenever you feel like and they'll ask you back and before you know it, it becomes a flowing conversation! to me, it's a lot easier to let the other person do a lot of the talking first.
also it helps to find common interests. and tumblr is nice like that bc we follow each other bc we like the same things. and the sky is the limit here! i've met people who i started talking about smutty shit and we got to know each other's deepest and darkest thought before we went, "oh hey what do i call you btw?" 😂
ofc this is just my personal experience, and i don't know if this would work for you or anyone else as well as it does for me. but i do hope it gets easier and that you make loads and loads of friends, online and irl! big hugs to you!
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zmayadw · 3 years
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Hello to all Duskwood lovers! Same as a lot of you here, i got pretty hooked on Duskwood ,and Jake, ofcourse :) After reading few fanfics, i started one myself. It’s the first time I’ve done it, and i got my courage up to share it with you all. I am aware there are quite a lot of them already, so hopefully one more wont be too much :) I’ll post just a part, maybe two of it. if anyone will be interested in more, then yay! If not, oh well, no hard feelings.  I’ll just continue with it for my own pleasure (for what i started it in the first place!) And im quite new on Tumblr, so if i did something wrong, sorry in advance.
I apologize for a long intro, wishing you all a great weekend! :)
Oh, and English is not my first language, so dont hold a grudge for any mistakes, as im sure there will be some!
CALL OF THE RAVEN
(It contains swearing, blood, death)
Part 1
A year passed. One year since Hannah was back, one year since I met some wonderfull new friends. And him...
I still remember the first time i saw him, even if it was over a videocall: those beautifull dark blue-grey eyes, full of hope and love, his dark black hair ruffled from all the sleeples nights, and from running his hands through it with frustration.
„Jake, can i ask you for a favore?“  I typed in my phone at one of our latest conversations. „Ofcourse“  he replied, not hesitating a bit, even tho he knew the things I asked him lately wer more and more on the personal basis. „I would really like to see you.“  There was a silence from his side. „Just one video call, just this once?“  still nothing. „ Please, Jake. This is killing me! I just want to see your face, talk to you for once, without you hiding yourself.“ Still no replay. „I know you are scared, hell im scared too, you have no idea how much, but im in agony, Jake, im acheing here! I dont know what will happen, and if we'll ever see eacother in person, so just this once, please, let me see you, the real you!“ Still silence. „Please..“ I pleaded, tears swelling up in my eyes. Few minutes passed,and I though 'fuck, why did you have to preasure it Maya, you just fucked everything up now'. I was just about to give up and go to sleep, when my phone rang  - 'Incoming videocall: Jake.  My heart banged like crazy,and I almost dropped my phone. My hands wer shaking so badly, I barely managed to accept the call. And there he was, looking right at me. „Hello, Maya.“  he said, but I just stared at him, unsure if I was dreaming or was this really happening. „Maya? You allright?“ he asked, with so much care, his voice rang to my ears like the most beautifull melody, but still, all I did was stare. He looked so tired, with all those sleeples nights taking its toll on him. His hair was ruffled, and sticking in all directions, but I tought of it as cute. And those eyes, , looking at me, like they wer looking right into my soul. He was everything I imagined, even better then what I imagined. „Maya, please, say something.“ he pleaded, and I snapped myself back to reality. „I'm sorry...I just.. didnt really expect this, you kinda cought me off guard.“  I managed to say finaly, blinking those tears away. „Uhm, well, you did ask for it. Should I hang up?“  he asked, confusion showing on his face. I quickly replied, with a smile „No,no, dont you dare! You know how long i waited for this??“ He was perfct. Even beaten with worry and sleep deprivation, he was  perfect. „Well, hello Jake, nice to finaly see you!“  He smiled back, oh that beautiful smile „Hello Maya, nice to see you, too!“
„Promise me, Maya, you wont go to Duskwood!“  his words rang in my head till this day. „I Promise, Jake.“  I said, and I meant it at that point. But things have changed, ofcourse, and impulsive as I am, I was in my car and on my way to Duskwood in a hearthbeat. It seemed as the only choice I had if we wanted to find Hannah, and I didnt hesitate at all. I asked Lily for help, and even if it was her sister in question, she was reluctant about it. „I dont want to lie to everybody any more, or to him, Maya. We made some good relationship, and to hide this information from him..I just dont know.“ „Please, Lily, I really dont see any other choice for me here. I have to do this, I have a chance to find Hannah! Please,you owe me!“ She knew what I was refering to - that video she posted, accusing Jake and me of everything did so much trouble, especially for Jake. I was so pissed at her at the time, so when she learned the thruth about Jake being Hannahs and hers half-brother, she felt awful. She told me then she owe me a big one, and I gladly took her by her word. „Fine, i'll help you, but I dont feel good about it at all, let that be clear!“ she protested on the phone, as I was already driving halfway towards Duskwood. A small grin of victory appeared on my face, as I explained to her what my plan was. We finished the call, and i turned the phone off. I had no idea if Jake was still monitoring my chats and calls, or something more, and I didnt want to take any chances. If he did, I hoped my call with Lily wont raise any susspison, so he wont feel the need to 'evesdrop'. I didnt feel good breaking my promise to him, and running off without a word, but I really thought 'hey, what could go wrong'. And, oh boy, was I wrong and things really did go wrong.
I almost died that night. Going into that mine alone wasn't such a good idea, after all. And all I could think at that moment was ah, shit, Jake would be pissed  at me right now!'. I could hear his voice in my head, as the blood was running down my head, throbing from the blow I recived.  But not before i saw with my own eyes that Hannah was still alive. I was so sure that it was done, I found her, I did it! I was so close to breaking her out, and I saw releife on her face when she saw me. But that releife was quickly replaced by the face full of terror, and before I knew it, all went dark for me.
„You promise me!“  the words chimmed in my head, as I slowely came to conscious. It took me a moment to become comepletly aware of everything that was going on arround me. I tried to stand, but the pain that burst through my body quickly drew me back to the floor.  My head wanted to explode,my breathing heavy and short. My stomach couldnt take it any more, so whatever I had in it came pouring out.
I managed to get myself in sitting position, leaning my back on the cold stone wall of the mine. I saw Hannah, looking at me with worry and fear in her eyes. And then I heard a voice „Did you really think that you were smarter than me?“ I turned my head, and there he stood, sinister grin on his face - Richy.
Our dear friend Richy, always positive, always caring to others, always willing to help. But Richy that was standing just a few steps from me, was not the same Richy we all knew.
When all the evidence started pointing at him being the MWAF, I didn’t want to belive at first. „No, it cant be..not him!“ „Maya, the evidence is right in front of you.“ Jake would say. „Dont tell me your judgement is getting clouded by your feelings again, by now you should know that evidence dont lie. They didnt get us wrong so far.“ He would always be so rational, and I have to admit, my feelings did get me a bit too sensitive with our search a few times. I guess that was also why we wer so good in collaborating. My head pulsed again, as I looked at him, wincing in pain. His grin widened, and he came crouching next to me. Reflexly I pulled back as much as possible, wich just made the pain unberable again, and my stomach lurched one more time. I dont know how much time passed, because I fainted.
When I came to it again, Ritchy was sitting on some rock, moving the knife from one hand to the other. I quickly glanced towards Hannah, and was glad that she was still alive. She didnt look badly hurt, considering all, few bruises and dirt on her face as far as I could see. She sat on the floor, with hands bind in shackles a few feet from me. Ritchy looked at me  „Ah, good, you're still with us!“ „Yeah, bad weed grows tall.“  I said, and he grinned „ I remember.“ Ritchy slowely came towards me again, and repeated his question from before  „So, you really tought you wer smarter that me, Maya? That you could just waltz in here and leave without the qonsequencess?“  „Well, dont know about the waltzing part, I never was good at it. I might need some help with walking out of here, but I doubt you'd lend a helping hand“. Even now when I was sure I was gonna die, I still couldnt hold my mouth shut. Ritchy laughed, his laugh ringed all over, and at that poin a memory came to my mind: „You are the only one who can still make ma laugh.“  Jake words again. Shit, like i wasnt feeling stupid enough already, doing exactly what he told me not to, risking my own life.  „I am so sorry, Jake.“  My words now in my head, like he could hear me somehow.  My heart filled with sorrow, thinking how I never will meet any of them. And, ofcourse, Jake. I would never talk to him again, gaze into those curious eyes, touch his hair, take his hand in mine. Never will I tell him all that I wanted, but was so affraid that maybe he doesnt feel the same. „ You promised me!“  again those words, this time piercing at my heart like a knife, and tears came running down my cheeks. „I am sorry.“  i whispered under my breath. I wanted to be brave, I didnt want to give Ritchy even more satisfaction over this, but it was all too much for me. I didnt care if he sees my tears, I didnt care for anything anymore. „What was that you said?“  he asked, and I replied, my head still bend down „Just finish it already.“ „Sorry, didnt heare you there“ he said, sinister grin back on his face. I dont know where I managed the strenght for it, but my head shot up, and I yelled with everything I had in me, looking him straingh in the eyes, pouring all my emotions in it  „Just finish it already, you freak!“ He jumped backwards when as yelled, but didnt look too shocked by it. He smirked, grapping the knife so tightly,his knuckles turned white as snow, looking at me with frenzy in his eyes, „With pleasure.“ I closed my eyes.
What happened next is still a bit fuzzy to me. I remember Hannah screaming, as Ritchy dived towards me with the knife. And the three loud bangs, that pierced my ears and made my head spin again. There was a 'thud', and I slowely opened my eyes, to see Ritchy sprawled on the floor next to me, blood coming from his mouth, eyes open wide in bevilderment. „ It wasnt.. suppose to end..like this..“ he mummled, more blood pouring out. And then silence. Someone said my name. I looked up from Ritchys, two familiar faces looming over me: it was Thomas and Dan. I looked at them in shock, eyes filling with tears. „ Is it over?“ i asked shakely, Dan answering  „Yes.“ Thomas ran over to Hannah, another person following  him. „Is it really over?“  I asked again,breathing heavy, glancing back where Ritchy lay. Dan answered again „Yes, Maya, it's really over.“ I lost all controll then, shaking and crying , balwing like a little kid, mummling something under my breath, wich made Dan very worried. „Thomas!“ he shouted  „Take Hannah and run out, tell the rest of the cops and medics if they arrived to hurry, I will stay with her.“ Thomas and Hannah looked at Dan with worry all over their faces, but he yelled at them again to hurry, and turned back to me. He tried to hug me, and when I screamed from pain, it got him terrified. „Hang in there Maya, help is on the way!“ „ I hope so.“ I said, voice cracking, darkness taking over me. „Maya, stay with me!“  Dan was scraming, but I couldnt fight it anymore. My eyes became so heavy, I just let them close, and with my final breath I whispered his name...Jake.
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heavymetalover · 4 years
Text
Call Me Daddy (Michael Langdon x fem reader)
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{i imagined scruffy sojourn michael w this one but i left the description kind of open so yall can imagine whichever teehee}
Summary: Michael is about to become your step dad and the two of you have an unusual relationship…
Warnings: DADDY KINK DUH, smut, dirty talk, fingering, vaginal sex, dom!michael, hickies, rough sex.
WC: 5.5k
A/N: ive done the unforgiven… omg.
this is a different format from my other stuff. i didnt see anyone doing this and yall know me and my daddy issues I HAD TO. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE anon me, message me, whatever, if you want more parts cuz im down.
~~~~
 You had an average run-of-the-mill life with your mom. The two of you lived in a sizable suburban Los Angeles estate; your mom worked for most of her waking hours to keep you comfortable and you worked your ass off to stay in your top college. You had a few friends that would pop into your life when your mom left town, a few boyfriends here and there, even your mom dated around. Everything felt normal until Michael came into the picture.
Your mom has been dating Michael for a few months now, but every time he’s around he brings an eerie feeling along with him. Despite being nearly half her age, he has the soul of somebody from the eighteen hundreds. The way he composes himself, how he speaks with the utmost confidence and how his stares linger too long; his glacial blue eyes always watch you like he can see right through your clothes. 
You’ve been skeptical of him since the day you met him. When you shook his hand and accidentally removed one of his large rings, he nonchalantly told you to keep it. You decided to sell the huge diamond-encrusted Cartier ring and use the twenty thousand dollars to help pay for college.
Since then you’ve avoided the two of them in protest of their relationship. You knew it was juvenile to evade them, but the man turned you on more than you’d like to admit. His soft-waved blonde hair, fluffy lips, jawline for days, prominent cheekbones, and how can you forget the eyes… Everything about him looked planned, like he was designed to be flawless.
On a mundane weekend morning, your mom calls you from downstairs. “Y/n!” her voice echoes through the halls.
You stop reading your favourite book and take out an earbud. “Yeah?!” you yell back, looking up from the pages for a moment and waiting for her to say something else, but the house is silent. You pretend to ignore her call and go back to the story.
“Y/n!” your mom yells again.
You sigh and drop your book, rolling off of your bed and skipping down the stairs to see what fresh hell awaits. As you approach your mom, who’s opening her mouth to call you again, you smell something unusual. Something you haven’t smelt since your dad left. Cologne.
“Honey, he’s here,” your mom whispers to you, putting a hand on your shoulder. You try turning away to run back to your room, but your mom stops you. “Can you be nice for once, please?” she begs, squeezing your shoulder.
“Whatever, let’s get this over with,” you groan and shimmy her hand off of your shoulder.  
Michael works at the dining table, setting up three plates and utensils. You’re planted to the ground in awe, you’ve never had to eat dinner with the two of them before. It crosses your mind that they must be confronting you about bypassing them these past few months, your fight or flight response is already kicking in.
Michael looks up at you, finally acknowledging you and capturing you in his ocean blue eyes with a nanosecond of contact. Your mom moves in between the two of you and takes some food out of a paper bag. “Michael and I wanted all of us to eat dinner together,” she skips to stand beside him. You widen your eyes at her and cross your arms in objection. She widens her eyes back, you can practically hear her nagging you to be polite.
Michael puts his arm around your mom. “Your mother and I thought it best for us to… start acting like a family,” he says.
Your eyebrows shoot up and you can’t hold back your smile. “A family?” you laugh. You purse your lips and start walking backwards, aching to escape Michael’s spell. “Mmm, I think I’ll pass,” you turn around to start walking away.
“Y/n,” your mom snaps. You stop in the middle of a step and twist back towards them, taking small, reluctant steps to approach their little function. “We have something to tell you,” she says and immediately after, vaults her hand out to you.
You take it hesitantly and look at her, still trying to figure them out and failing. “What?” you ask.
“No, honey, look at it,” she rolls her eyes, “look at my hand.”
You gawk at her hand, her third finger is dressed in a huge diamond ring. It looks big enough to pay off your whole house. You unintentionally let out a dramatic gasp and drop her hand, she continues to hold it up for you. “It’s the bloodiest diamond he could find in the LA area,” she explains, “We’re in love.” She smiles and places her hand on Michael’s chest, looking up at him with hearts in her eyes. He gifts a small kiss on her lips.
You scoff and shake your head. Any tension that you felt from Michael has dissolved. He’s been dating your mom for five months, five fucking months. Who does he think he is? Are they both nuts? “You’re joking, right?” you ask, completely stunned by how brash the whole situation is. “Are you guys pranking me?”
Michael grins at you, it makes you melt and you hate yourself for it. “Call me daddy,” he sneers.
----
It’s a quaint Wednesday evening when you decide to take a break from studying and grab a snack. You’re scrolling through Tumblr when you walk out of your room and smash your face against a sturdy chest. “Jesus!” you gasp, looking up at Michael standing in front of your door; one of his hands is in a fist, ready to knock on your door, while the other is behind his back. “You scared the shit out of me!” You playfully push his chest away from you, trying to shake off the sudden rush of adrenaline.
He drops his fist as he stumbles back slightly. It’s the first time you’ve talked to him since they announced their engagement. Michael moved in about a month ago and it’s been hard to ignore him since he sits, day in day out, typing away on his laptop in your living room.
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “But I have to admit it’s nice to hear your voice again.”
You lean against your doorframe, trying to act casual as if he hadn’t just knocked the wind out of you completely. “Did my mom come home from work or something? She send you here?” you ask, declining his attempts to meet your eyes, instead you stare at his lapel.
“No, I got you something,” he explains, wiggling the surprise behind his back.
“Another Cartier ring?” you joke. “Oh, or is it a new girlfriend? Because that would be even better.” His eyes find the ceiling in annoyance and it feels rewarding, you were starting to think he couldn’t be cracked. “Did you get me an apartment, so I don’t have to live with another failed marriage?”
“No,” he snaps back, starting to sound impatient with your infantile attitude. You straighten up at his belligerent tone. He slides into your room, keeping the gift hidden behind his back. “It’s thoughtful, something I know you’d like, but… if you’re hellbent on loathing my existence, why should I be so kind?” he asks. He somehow manages to speak reserved, yet impossibly intimidating. Every word that leaves his lips demands to be heard, it sends chills down your spine. “Right?” he prompts.
You take in a breath. “Right,” you force yourself to agree, mostly because you’re curious to see what the present is. Another part of you is getting bored of acting like a hermit and going days without social interaction. “Obviously it feels weird; I barely know you and you’re becoming my dad and you moved in, everything just seems so fast,” you explain yourself. You saunter back into your room to meet him. “I’ve been a bitch. I’m sorry, Michael. Seriously.”
He takes a step closer to you, you’re only inches apart. You can feel the heat radiating from his body and fight the urge to wrap your arms around him. “We’ll work on ‘Michael’ later,” he replies. You’re about to question what he means by that when he takes the present out from behind his back. He holds a black bag in between the two of you and you immediately recognize the store. “I heard you on the phone with your friend about something red, lacey, with a bow. I think I found it…”
You take the Victoria’s Secret bag from him without saying a word. You have no words to say. You don’t know if you should thank him or refuse the gift or slap him for listening to your personal conversations. Your mind races wondering if you’d gossiped about his good looks on the phone with your friend.
You silently pry open the bag and paw through the lingerie, mountains of cute panties and bras, digging through things you were never able to afford but always wanted. And, of course, Michael bought the red, lacey one piece you were talking about with your friend. There’s a stillness in the room as you look through the bag. “You bought all of this for me?”
“Yeah, I can’t see how your mom would fit into any of those.”
All of the pieces are just your size, it’s the perfect gift… just not from your stepdad. “How did you even know my size?” you stop looking at the bag and make the mistake of falling into his eyes.
“I went through your clothes,” he carelessly shrugs.
You drop the present by your side. “You went through my clothes, like, my lingerie?”
He slowly nods his head, acting as if it isn’t strange for him to invade your privacy how he did. You huff and he begins looking agitated with you again. “Would you like if I returned all this stuff? I thought you’d like it.”
“I do,” you mutter and kick the bag away from him, you’re not jeopardizing this gift with your uncontrollable sass.
“Good,” he spits back.
“Just… don’t think you can just buy yourself into the family,” you mock. You catch yourself subconsciously crossing your arms over your chest to give yourself a breast lift, but you don’t stop.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he smirks. He looks down at your cleavage and it feels like all the air is sucked out of the room. “You have quite the collection of lingerie you keep hidden at the bottom of your drawers,” he observes, “like a dirty guilty pleasure.” You peer up at him, again trying to read him, and again failing. He uses one of his fingers to hook onto the thin fabric of your shirt, your tits are practically pouring out and begging to be the center of attention. He tugs at the fabric, looking under your shirt and inspecting your boobs suffocated in one of your intimate Victoria’s Secret pickups. “Kitten’s all dressed up?” he whispers, his fingertips graze the embroidered details.
You bite your lip, anticipating the second he’ll rip the bra off your chest. “It’s all for you,” you tease, pushing your tits together even more, “I’m always dressed up for you, Michael.”
He breathes in, groaning under his breath. “I thought I told you,” his voice is low and intimidating, “call me daddy.”
You’re drinking in a breath of his cologne, shifting onto the tips of your toes to give his soft lips a rugged kiss, when the sound of keys rattling downstairs takes you out of it. Michael still stares at you, his fingers continue to linger over your clothed tits. “Michael!” your mom calls from downstairs.
You look up at him with fear in your puppy dog eyes and Michael grins. He shoots you one last, knowing, glance before leaving your room. He leaves you without saying two words. “Yeah, babe,” he answers your mom, closing your bedroom door behind him.
What the fuck just happened?
----
Holding back your gags, you grasp your friend’s hair as she projectile vomits peach schnapps into an expensive toilet bowl. Her phone rings in her pocket and you huff, digging through the pockets of the leather jacket you lent her and pulling out a vibrating iPhone. You pick up the phone with an ill “hello”, answering too late and looking down at the screen. She must’ve ordered an Uber a while ago, there’s a ton of notifications that the driver’s outside. “Oh shit,” you mutter under your breath. “Your ride is here!” you yell at her, trying to pull her onto her feet.
“What?!” she yells into the toilet bowl.
You roll your eyes and lean down beside her ear, “I said, your ride is here!” you yell over the thumping music.
Your friend stumbles around, trying to stand up in her six-inch heels. You pull her onto you and her head rests on your shoulder, she goes limp against you. “Stop, come on!” you shout over the music. “You have to g-”
You’re cut off by your friend puking onto an expensive mini dress you bought for tonight’s party. This shindig was supposed to be a fun little escape from your school life, your home life, Michael, all your stress. You expected to make new friends, meet hot guys, but instead you came an hour late and have been nursing your friend the whole night. You’re seriously going to kick her ass tomorrow.
“Sorry,” she mumbles, her breath reeking of throw up.
You toss her arm over your shoulder and start walking her out of the bathroom. “I’m going to kill you tomorrow, you know that?” you say in her ear and she lets out a small, apologetic whimper.
A cute guy who was talking you up earlier approaches the two of you. He holds two red cups in his hands and shrugs when he sees you. “What the fuck, y/n? You disappeared on me!” he talks to you over the bass-y music. “I got our drinks!” he shakes the cups in his hands and hands one over to you, as if completely ignoring your drunken friend hanging off of your side.
Your friend staggers, nearly bringing you down with her. The cute guy helps you pick her back up and you sigh, annoyed at how much of a disaster your night has turned into. He knits his eyebrows at your sour attitude, then finding the vomit on your dress, he looks back up at you. You see his doe eyes grow apologetic when he mouths a weak “sorry” to you, stepping out of your way. You shake your head as if telling him it’s fine; you just wish you had more time to get to know him.
You continue dragging your friend along your side and hear someone call out your name from behind you. You whip your head around; your hair irritatingly sticks to your lip-gloss. “Hope to see you again!” he calls after you. You nod in his direction and resume walking your friend, who is nearly passed out on your shoulder, to the front door. When you walk out of the house, you’re assaulted with the smell of salt water. Despite this night turning into one of the most frustrating nights of your life, at least you got to visit a Malibu beach house.
A big, black SUV is parked outside of the house and you rush her to the door. Opening the backseat and stuffing her inside the seats in the back. “The app says where you’re taking her, right?” you ask the Uber driver, your voice sounds muted from being struck by loud music all night.
He nods and reads out her address. “Y/n,” your friend slurs, gripping onto your arm with all her strength, “you’re a really nice… you’re a… you’re a really good friend, you know that? Like, seriously,” she pauses to hiccup, “thank you for taking care of me tonight.” Her words are so slurred that it’s nearly impossible to make out her compliment, but you just nod in hopes it’ll get her to let go. She drops your arm and hands you your pricey leather jacket, bunched up in a ball, before shutting the van door.
You throw on your jacket, protecting yourself from the ocean’s breeze, and watch the van drive away when you notice a familiar car parked across the street. The SUV blocked a four-seater Maserati parked on the other side of the road. Michael’s sedentary in the driver’s seat with a cigarette hanging from his lips. You balance yourself on your ridiculously tall heels and stomp over to his car. He doesn’t even see you coming, he’s leaned back in the driver’s seat reading a book.
You crouch down and knock on the glass of his window. His eyes meet yours for a second and he slowly rolls down the window. A mob of cigarette smoke escapes the car and he chucks the stick onto the pavement. You’re both quiet for a few moments, the crashing ocean waves fills up the silence.  “How did you know I was here?” you ask.
He finally puts down his book and looks at you. “Just trying to be a good dad,” he responds.
“Ugh, ew,” you groan. “You’re my step dad.”
He adjusts his seat to start driving, his eyes looking you up and down as he does. “Looks like your night went a little… rough,” he jokes and nods towards the puke on your dress. “You need a ride?”
You look back at the party. As much as you wanted to live up the night, you’re already in too much of a bad mood to go back in there. It doesn’t help that your new dress is covered in puke, too. You turn back around to Michael, he awaits your answer with a cocked brow. “You can’t tell mom,” you sigh, walking around the car to get into the passenger’s seat. The luxury car’s butterfly doors obnoxiously open up for your entry. “Not a word,” you assure him as you slide into the leather seat.
He starts up the car and one of his Led Zeppelin albums begins to play. “I picked you up at the library,” he quips.
He starts driving along the empty coast and you decide to skip the seatbelt, you don’t want to dirty his car with your friend’s retch. His eyes glance over to your seat for a moment, he notices you second guessing the seatbelt and puts a hand on your thigh. You look up at him and intuitively try to tempt him, biting your bottom lip and batting your lashes. “I’ll protect you if we crash,” he whispers, his fingers lightly caress your thighs.
You put your hand on his and slide him further up your leg. He keeps one hand on the wheel, eyes on the road, but when his eyes do meet yours, it makes all the nerves in your core feel like a wave pool. Your dress is short enough for him to reach your panties without any hassle. Your hand is on his when his fingers begin to rub your pussy, still dressed in a pair of panties he bought you. “Baby’s already wet for daddy,” he says under his breath, kneading your clit in small circles.
You feel your stomach erupt with butterflies, you’ve never felt a nervousness so intense before. A rush of thoughts suddenly violates your mind, you try to shut them up but they keep coming. This is wrong. You shouldn’t be doing this. You’re disgusting for enjoying this. His fingers have been in your mom before.
You dig your nails into his skin and pull his hand away from you; bending over in your seat and clutching onto your stomach. You only had one drink tonight, you shouldn’t be feeling this sick.
“I-I’m sorry,” he stutters, “are you okay?”
“I think I need air,” you grumble through the sudden sickness. “Can you pull over?”
Michael only takes a minute to find an empty parking lot on the beach and pull into it. You get out of the car without saying a word to him and take off your heels, throwing them into the backseat of his car. You’re already starting to feel your anxiety subside as you shuffle through the cool sand and pace towards the erratic waves crashing on shore. This is one of the reasons you loved LA, the tons of tiny, empty beaches. The ocean at night, and how it constantly smelt like salt water, how it relaxed you.
The breeze blew through your hair, a part of you felt like running into the crashing waves, but a voice took you out of it. “Y/n!” Michael called behind you, over the sound of the whistling wind. He trudges in the sand to get to you; you faintly snicker at his dedication. “Are you okay?” he asks once he’s closer to you.
When you see him, face glowing in the moon light, golden locks blowing in the ocean breeze, face twisted with concern, it all settles. Everything feels like it’s in the right place. Your stomach, although still turning with butterflies, no longer feels sick.
There’s a pause between the two of you; both of you deciding to admire each other instead of the beautiful ocean view beside you. Then, it feels like everything clicks. Like the two of you mentally communicate your longing for each other, your desire. Both shutting your eyes and diving in for a kiss at the same time.
His lips smash against yours, sucking your face, and his tongue quickly invades your mouth. He kisses you like he’s craved your lips for years, passionately cleaning up your mouth with his eager tongue.
Michael works your jacket off of your shoulders and you shimmy it to the ground. He unzips your dress, the zip running along your naked back sends a shiver crawling down your spine. He abandons your lips for a moment to pull down your dress, exposing your bare chest and expensive panties. You’re too lost in lust to even realize you’re half naked on a public beach.
You’re both panting and releasing all of the built-up sexual tension. He stands back up and kisses you again, his hands cup your ass and he gives an echoed smack; his fingers creep down your legs. He grabs onto the back of your thighs and hoists you up, you lightly yelp into his mouth and wrap your legs around him. His large hands hold you up and he leans down, resting you onto the jacket you’ve thrown onto the sand.
Once you’re laid down, he begins rubbing your pussy again. His cold rings adding a different sense of pleasure as he rubs you into entropy. He slides your feeble panties to the side and spits down on your cunt, shoving his finger inside you. You moan at the sudden intrusion, taking in a breath of the salt-scented air. “That’s it, baby girl,” he whispers, adding in another finger, “I want to hear you moan for daddy.”
You take in a breath and whimper as he curves his fingers inside of you, slowly pulsing against your g-spot. He touches you as if he already knows which parts make you crumble. “Ooh yeah, daddy,” you cry and grind on his fingers, pushing him deeper inside you, “right there.”
“You’re my dirty little slut, huh?” he asks, gliding in another finger. Your eyes roll back in pleasure. “Little girl likes to get fucked by her daddy?” He adds another finger, completely stretching you out. Your breath gets caught in your throat and you can’t reply. “I asked you a question.”
You meet his cold eyes for a second, before you throw your head back in pleasure. “Yes!” you breathe out, feeling the heat rise in your body. Your sensitive cunt throbs under his gluttonous fingers, persistently fucking you and begging for more. “Yes, oh, keep fucking me just like that, daddy!”
His fingers find a rhythm inside of you, constantly bringing you to the brink of climax and slowing down. “Such a dirty little girl,” he teases and spits on your soaking cunt. He pulls out his fingers and holds them to your lips. You grab his hand and suck on his long fingers, tasting the cool metal rings mixed with the sweet taste of your pussy.
You sit up and lock your lips with his again. Both, you and Michael, unbutton his shirt; you want to feel his flesh against yours as soon as possible. When you get to the bottom, you slide your hands up his body and square the shirt off of his shoulders. His perfect, porcelain skin shines in the moonlight. You want to appreciate it for a moment, but he’s already unbuckling his belt.
He’s propped on his knees, unzipping his black pants and bringing them down to pull his erection out of his briefs. It springs out when you start grabbing for it, he moves back and clicks his tongue. “My greedy little girl,” he mocks, “you don’t get a taste until daddy says you do.”
He pushes you down with one of his hands. His touch is so delicate, yet so commanding. Everything he does is done with conviction and a power that only you could dream of, he is inherently dominant over you. He strokes his long, girthy length over you, you’re practically drooling at the sight. He spits on himself and rubs it into the head. “Spit on it,” he orders.
You sit up and weakly spit on the tip of his cock; it’s too late when you notice your mouth is dry from nervousness. He shakes his head. “You’re so pathetic, you can’t even spit on me right,” he sneers, divorced from the nasty words leaving his lips. He presses his dick against your folds and your fingers curl into your jacket, awaiting the moment he plunges into you. “Say the word, baby girl, say you want me,” he’s lingering at your entrance.
“Please,” you whine, your pussy is beating against his hard cock, “please dad.”
He pushes his head inside you and you grab his arms for support, digging your nails into his skin. He’s so thick, you’ve never felt something so large obtruding your tight cunt. He moves in slowly, reading your stunned facial expressions to see if he should continue stuffing himself inside of you. You let out tiny weeps as he digs deeper into your hole, but you can’t manage much more.
Michael thrusts himself into you until he’s balls deep, even he can’t help but groan. “My little girl is so fucking tight,” he grunts under his breath. He starts to hammer himself into you, going so deep that you feel like pushing him back, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. His cock is so thick that it hits every nerve you could imagine; it’s hard to gather a single word.
He lets out a small chuckle at your reticence. “My innocent baby’s never felt a real cock before, huh?” he taunts, still pounding his length into you. You open your mouth to speak, but settle on shaking your head. One distinct tear runs down the side of your face while stifled cries pass your trembling lips with each time his balls smack into your ass. “You’re taking me like a good fucking girl,” he admires, “my good little slut.”
He lifts up your leg and rests your foot on his shoulder. You’re twisted onto your side, trying to look over your shoulder to see how vigorously he pounds into your cunt. Michael’s new positioning hits exactly in your g-spot, you feel your leg shaking under his grip. “H-holy shit,” your voice trembles, you let out a built-up breath. “Keep going, daddy! Right there, right there, I’m so close,” you’re begging, voice is flooded with desperation. You don’t care how childish you sound, you want nothing more than to come all over Michael’s big dick. “Don’t move, please, please,” you grab onto his arm again.
Tears overflow your eyes when you look into his. Just seeing his determined light blue eyes peering back at you makes you unravel even more. He has no remorse for how weak he’s making you, how vulnerable you’ve become, his unmistakable dominion turns you on.
He listens to your wails, finally granting you the satisfaction you’ve been begging for and plows into your g-spot. Your grip on him gets tighter as he thrusts harder, you’re almost certain he’s going to leave some swelling deep inside your cunt. “Your dick is so, fucking, good,” you breathe in between thrusts.
Michael doesn’t give up, keeping up the same pace and fucking you exactly how you want him to. You’re about to praise his long cock some more when you’re thrown into climax. You try looking back up at him, but you can’t say a word; your mouth hangs wide open with nothing but small chokes croaking out. He can see how dazed he’s made you and shoves your face into the ground, pushing your nose against the leather of your jacket. “You’re going to take daddy’s cock like a good little girl,” he seethes, suffocating your head into your jacket. “Don’t come,” he demands.
He continues punching your g-spot with his huge cock, you feel your pussy spasming under his rough thrusts. He holds both of your arms back, shifting you into doggy-style. His balls slap against your sore clit and you feel yourself starting to ejaculate. “Fuck!” you scream into the breeze of the empty beach. Your cunt twitches and gushes its balmy juices all over Michael’s hard cock.
He slows down his pace and pulls your arms up towards him, you feel his heaving chest against your back. “What did I just fucking say?” he fumes, tugging your arms even closer to him. “Answer me.”
“You told me not to come,” you answer in a syrupy, naïve voice.
He grabs both of your tits to push you flush against him, maintaining his rough thrusts into your cunt. “That’s right,” he whispers in your ear, “baby didn’t fucking listen.” He smacks your tits with both of his hands, striking you hard. You jump at how ruthless he hits you, it makes your stomach flutter again. His full lips lug along your neck. “Remember who you belong to,” he speaks into your neck, sending an iciness throughout your entire body.
Michael digs his teeth into your skin, sucking up your flesh while he continues massaging your breasts, pinching at the hard peaks your nipples have formed. He sucks so hard it stings, you wonder how that would feel on your pussy. His love bite begins to hurt and you shift your head away from him, he snickers. “Who do you belong to?” he whispers, lips chafing the shell of your ear.
He pinches your nipples even harder and you sob in pleasure. “Mmm, you,” you respond, looking over your shoulder to give his lips a frail kiss. “I belong to you, daddy.”
He takes in a deep breath as if shaking off your spell and regaining his confidence. He pushes you onto the ground again and goes back to fucking you like a ragdoll. “You better remember that,” he breathes, mercilessly pummeling himself into you again.
He holds both of your arms back once more, driving himself into you so hard that you’re concerned about cervix bruising. His pace slows down a bit and you look back at him, his mouth drapes open and he stares down at the back of your head. He pushes you away as he orgasms, savagely shoving your face back into the ground, as you feel his warm seed spilling inside your wet cunt. Michael groans from deep within his chest, letting out a long sigh when he’s done. “Oh, fuck,” he moans, “fuck, you sexy bitch.”
You let out a little giggle at this and he joins. He hauls himself out of you and you feel all of your muscles relax. You shift onto your back, looking up at Michael in disbelief. You’re too caught up in euphoria to comprehend what just happened. All you can think of in this moment is how fucking good he was. Even Michael has a dumbfounded look on his face.
He shakes his head and liberates a nervous laugh, “We’re so fucked up.”
You can say that again.
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0tivez · 2 years
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I am feeling better now! Thanks for caring :D I also mention spoilers here as well :)
His death just, I don't know. It really did hurt. When he thought about all the books he bought and didn't read?? that hit so close to home. how many books did I buy but I never read?? That line made him so painfully human and tears. I'm in tears.
Another death that hit me hard was Junpei's. I think it was the fact that he could've been okay but wasn't. His friendship with Yuuji, the idea that maybe he could've joined the main 3 and be supported by Gojo in a Gojo way? I even read some hc that talked about a mentor!Nanami/mentee!Junpei relationship. And Ig I understand that idea that not everyone can be saved but I so desperately wanted him to be saved. He lived such a shitty life and then he got this? when things started to look ok, that they could get better he just- It makes me angry and sad :)
What I'm about to say is probably biased as fuck, but I genuinely dislike Sukuna. Idc. Modern AU/fanon Sukuna is fine and the way people write him as Yuuji's brother is cute sometimes. Canon Sukuna tho? I despise that bitch. I feel so much hatred for him you don't even know. Nanako and Mimiko's death hit me out of nowhere when I was reading bits of the manga. I was so angry, I wanted to punch a wall.
Your propaganda has fr changed me 🙏 I feel the same way about shipping I think. As long as you're not hurting anybody its all good! I will admit that sometimes I dislike shipping bc of reasons that might be a bit controversial?? I don't think I'd be able to explain them properly in an anon message. I do find it interesting to talk about shipping as a concept bc there's so many layers to the conversation imo and I find that kinda fascinating 😅 is that odd? lmfao. Still, as long as you don't harm anyone alls good!
I thought Gojo was 6'7, last time I checked, which actually kinda killed me a bit inside ngl. I refuse to believe it tho, it just doesn't make sense to me for some reason?? Although on some parts of the anime his hands look MASSIVE to the point it looks kinda odd if you think about them for too long...which is kinda weird bc why would u think about them for too long but in my defence it was a gif set and I was curious about the details :,)
Im so excited for Toji to be animated! I'm kinda scared that my expectations are too high bc of Tumblr and that I will get disappointed BUT im still hyped for everything new that's coming our way :D
I think its sadder for Levi to keep living on and even though I hate it I kinda like it in a way? I think people are always so scared to watch their favourite characters die but in this case Levi stays alive and its worse than him dying ig? I've never felt that conflict before, and its and interesting feeling + internal debate. Tbh a small part of me still thinks him not dying was bc the fandom loves Levi too much so he literally couldn't die or people would've rioted ,but you know.
Nothing makes me rage more than the way teenagers are treated in shonen. putting them through heart wrenching and traumatic situations, expecting them to act like adults just doesn't sit right with me and makes me want to scream. I loved Sasha so much, she was one of my comfort characters growing up until I drifted away from aot, and even though I should've expected it bc its aot it still hurt. Nothing feels fair in that manga/anime lol.
I'm all for reading your thoughts on Hanji though! She was a great character!
NANAMI BEING A WALL I NEED THAT SO BADLY TT
I- Im so stupid bc I just searched on google "geto shower scene" and I clicked the first link bc I thought google would understand but I- I was jumpscared by a pxrn site...
ANYWAY I ALSO NEED TO SEE THE ENDING!!! Secret is safe with me😌✨ I don't know how its gonna be and I'm scared of it bc I know im gonna get hurt. For some reason I think Gojo is gonna die and maybe Yuuji will stay alive. Its a weird hunch that just nags me tbh.
I don't think Im well versed to understand the berserk reference but I've watched Tokyorev's op and...yeah, its definitely an opening sequence the song tho 👀
Last time I checked my dash I got a bunch of spoilers for the manga and apparently things got spicy and people were freaking out it a bit...maybe that works as an incentive to continue reading it?? 😅
Also! Is the demon slayer manga any good?? All my friends love the anime but none of them have read the manga yet :(
also ff but the acronym for Chainsaw man always makes me laugh bc its kinda like a curse word in Spanish lmfao
HE DID SKATE TO A CRUEL ANGEL'S THESIS!!!! I THINK IT WAS IN 2018-2019. IF YOU SEARCH "YUZURU HANYU A CRUEL ANGEL'S THESIS" ON YOUTUBE ITLL DEF COME UP. He looks like he's having so much fun and it makes it even better. OH DID YOU WATCH THE OLYMPICS THIS YEAR??? I am heartbroken over a 27 year old man that doesn't know of my existence lmfaoo I'm also proud of the same 27 year old man but oh well, Yuzuru Hanyu makes me want to learn how to ice skate :,)
I wanna try Melon bread so badly bc it looks very sweet. Tempted to make it myself but my oven is breaking down! Fujimoto and Gege do sound like very cool people; I would like to have a conversation with them, think it would be interesting. csm (and I do chuckle every time I write the acronym) sounds/looks bizarre (I saw a panel of Aki and it looked...well, bizarre bc I don't know what other word to use, MY VOCAB IS LIMITED IM SORRY) and im curious as to how they come up with those concepts and storylines.
THAT NOBARA DRAWING IS SO GOOD does that mean that Fujimoto drew jjk fanart? 👀
I will def read look back asap! I like shorts stuff bc I can finish it fairly quickly :p I'll read it tomorrow if possible bc right now it is a bit late; I stayed up watching the new Euphoria ep and im very excited for the one coming out next week! I'll also try to read csm soon! I don't have much time mainly bc I suck at time management and I read too much fanfics apparently? I really need a detox from all my screens. Let me know if you liked god's lie as well!
ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL TAG YOU I PROMISE! I think my anxiety has decreased quite a bit and im feeling more confident :D the water gun also makes the threat sound very funny im sorry TT
I hope you have a good day/night!
I also realised that my asks seem to get longer and longer TT
-🥳 anon
aah sorry for the late reply!
ngl i wasn't as affected by junpei's death. it seemed so... set up? probably cause i read the manga before the anime and didn't get fooled by the opening, but i knew junpei would die eventually. i didn't feel much connection to him whatsoever, he was okay but definitely had more space to grow. he was a wasted potential, and that's exactly how he was supposed to be seen as. i really liked the scene where ijichi lets itadori go to save junpei, i found that scene so well made and choreographed. reminds you a little of geto, eh?
ngl even tho he's a rat bastard, i really like sukuna. yeah. i said it. i'm a hypocrite. he's sexy yeah but his "you were strong" to jogo before he killed him made me have at least a little respect for him. he's smart, i feel like he has a bigger plan than what fans theorize. he's such a well written villain too and it's a shame we never really got to see him since shibuya. i wonder what's his reaction to all this culling game stuff. i also believe he will play a big role on killing kenjaku somehow, if he already hasn't made a pact with him thousands of years ago. i dislike the fanon sukuna tho, idk. i like canon devil sukuna
shipping is basically a commercial material now. especially yaoi ships. i feel like mangakas specifically play on certain characters. i mean, c'mon, we all know how bnha and haikyuu got popular, right? it's a shame, if they don't make them canon, i feel like they are bullshit. tho i think jjk will be different, if stsg is real, we might get a confirmation somehow. it will be controversial but needed since gege already writes pretty controversial characters. i mean, c'mon, the song they put on geto's death scene was "this is pure love" are you fucking kidding me. i think tho, if they do indeed become canon, some terfs and incels will cry 'gege did it to pleasure girls and shippers boo' shut? the fuck? up???? my fucking god i hate anime community
one side of me blames me for thinking of healthy male friendships as romantic ones but i also can't blame myself if they're written to be understood that way. my friend told me that some ships in haikyuu were supposed to be canon so let's wish japan gets more comfortable with lgbt people so we can learn if gojo is a twink or not lol
i feel like gojo's hands could easily frame my neck..... just a thought...
i mean, isayama basically hates levi for his popularity so it must have been a tough decision to keep him alive lol
i like the pain, anon. i really do. evangelion, c'mon. i don't like it when they seem unbothered by their situation which is thankfully mostly the opposite. i love that everyone in aot is aware of how fucked up their lives are, just like how itadori switched his opinion on jujutsu lately. the whole 'im just a cog' convo is just incredible.
the least they can do is just stop putting sasha on every episode jesus fucking christ. i was so sad when kaya mixed gabi as sasha last episode
i'm so fucking in love with hanji. so much. her downfall from the cheery right arm to depressed yet still somehow positive commander was heart braking. i knew she was gonna die, i have read the chapter on pinterest. yet i still cried like a baby. so much. she was so close to her "happy ending" but was so, so tired. it was a suicide, no one can tell me otherwise. her sad face at the end with levi was heart braking.
don't get me started on her meeting with erwin and the rest tho my god i forgot about that FUCK-
anyways ahem
LMAOAWEDKJASLW NOT THE PORN SITE
i feel like the "either only one dies or everyone except for one dies" thing will be nobara idk she's definitely not dead, i don't think gege would kill her again. i think gojo will die tho, i wouldn't want him to be the only survivor. letting yuji alive would be too predictable, megumi might survive too. i think he will be the only survivor, tho i ALSO feel like he might switch sides once tsumiki is in the picture again. i guess we can only see as the story proceeds
the manga is good, i enjoyed the anime, not a huge fan. my friend says the next arcs are pretty solid, i only finished this season's arc. i should continue lol. the style is pretty... original. idk it's a solid 7 i would say so far
ooh im learning spanish whats the cuss word??
AAH i'll watch it asap. i love yuzuru, i couldn't watch the olympics. i need to see clips of it, he didn't win gold tho right? did he even compete? last time i checked during summer olympics, his status was still unknown
csm is so cool, you will be shocked with every panel lol. aki is so sexy
aah i need to catch up on euphoria soon or my friends will beat me up lol. i watch clips of it on youtube, i spoiled myself to death. it's so fun, i hope maddy gets the happy ending she deserves. her and fex are my faves so far
take as much time as you want babe, it's okay if you want to stay on anon all the time, don't be harsh on yourself <3 i'm fine as long as we get to talk to each other
good night/say :*
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ibrvhims · 3 years
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𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎  𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄! blue  here  (  20  ,  she  /  they  ,  est  )  and  i’m  really  excited  to  join  this  group  !  i’ve  been  dying  to  play  greta  —  this  is  actually  my  first  time  so  yes  ,  katerina is  completely  new  but  i’m  really  excited  to  develop  her  here  !  anyways  ,  all  you  need  to  know  is  below  the  cut  ,  and  if  you  like  what  you  see  just  LIKE  this  post  or  hmu  through  tumblr  ims  and  we  can  plot  !  xo
history !
this   baby   was   born   and   raised   in   london   ,   england  to   one   of   the   most   affluent   members   of   the   community   .   her   mother   ,   irina   ,   was   a   highly   regarded   socialite   ,   as   well   as   devoted   church   attendee   .   immense   pressure   is   one   of   the   first   childhood   memories   katerina   can   recall   and   she   has   her   mother   to   thank   for   that   .   on   the   other   side   of   the   spectrum   was   her   father   ,   dea   ,   who’s   a   world   renowned   restauranteur   and   owner   of   a   million   dollar   business   chain   .   katerina   always   strived   for   his   love   and   approval   and   yet   no   matter   how   hard   she   tried   to   get   his   attention   ,   all   efforts   seemed   to   fail   ,   seeing   as   he   was   too   busy   building   a   brand   .
her   childhood   pretty   much   consisted   of   forced   church   going   ,   unwanted   molding   by   her   mother   and   lack   of   affection   in   her   home   life   ,   which   only   led   to   later   permanent   damage   .   at   the   age   of   15   ,   katerina  started  hanging   with   the   wrong   crowds   purposely   ,   hoping   that   her   dad   would   show   the   least   bit   of   worry   ,   but   alas   .   she   started   drinking   regularly   and   gradually   more   excessively   ,   while   picking   up   smoking   and   minor   drug   abuse   .   old   habits   die   hard   and   she’s   still   to   this   day   very   separated   from   the   sober   life   she   used   to   lead   .
in   her   mother’s   eyes   ,   katerina   had   always   been   a   failure  and   that   is   precisely   the   reason   why   ,   no   matter   their   familial   bond   ,   katerina  always   despised   irina   ,   but   she’d   never   thought   of   harming   her   in   any   way   until   the   day   of   her   18th   birthday   ,   where   katerina   witnessed   her   mom   cheating   on   her   beloved   dad   with   one   of   their   closest   family   friends   who   had   attended   the   celebration   .   in   a   fit   of   rage   ,   she   stole   a   huge   amount   of   money   from   the   restaurant   and   framed   her   mother   ,   transferring   the   deposit   to   her   personal   bank   account   and   showing   the   evidence   to   dea   ,   who   then   proceeded   to   sue   his   wife   and   file   for   divorce   .
katerina didn’t   expect   her   mother   to   get   any   jail   time   ,   mostly   due   to   the   fact   that   she   wasn’t   used   to   dealing   with   the   consequences   of   her   actions   ,   but   turns   out   irina   served   three   years   behind   bars   ,   before   eventually   being   released   .   katerina   initially   thought   that   once   her   mother   was   out   of   the   picture   ,   perhaps   she   and   her   father   would   spend   much   more   quality   time   together   and   yet   she’d   been   proven   wrong   once   more   .   the   only   chance   she   has   to   accompany   him   is   in   the   kitchen   when   he’s   trying   out   new   recipes   ,   but   she’d   take   that   all   she   can   get   .
tho   entering   the   restaurant   business   seemed   tempting   enough   ,   she    decided   to   do   something   for   herself   just   once   and   delved    into   her   first   love   track   which   led   to   impeccable   success   ,   as   she   broke  records     ,  and   even   guest   starred   on   tv   shows    .  since   a  slight  pr   disaster   concerning   irina   ,   katerina  ultimately   made   the   decision   to   step   back   ,   and  pursue  her  education  instead  . 
trivia !
my   girl   is   very   fashionable   and   has   designer   packed   closets   ,   she   loves   glitter   and   bling   ,   so   you   bet   she’s   gonna   look   extra   af   every   single   day   .   random   facts   about   her   would   be   that   she’s   loves   all   animals   except   for   any   type   of   bird   ever   cause   she’s   scared   shitless   ,   probably   has   the   messiest   life   you’ve   ever   heard   and   yet   still   manages   to   look   fabulous   in   sharpay   voice   ,   v   much   into   baking   ,   borderline   alcoholic   but   aren’t   we   all   .
katerina   is   fairly   rude   at   first   glance   ,   and   it   doesn’t   help   that   she’s   indifferent   towards   anyone   who   isn’t   part   of   her   circle   of   friends   .   she   doesn’t   hate   ,   hate   is   such   a   strong   word   ,   she   simply   doesn’t   have   the   attention   span   for   people   that   don’t   interest   her   or   she   doesn’t   know   fully   well   to   enjoy   a   conversation   with.  
honestly   has   the   gina   linetti   energy   “   how   was   i   supposed   to   know   there’d   be   consequences   for   my   actions   ”   as   she   literally   does   anything   she   wants   before   her   brain   can   even   weigh   the   pros   and   cons   to   it.    
everyone   can   depend   on   katerina   to   have   a   good   time   ,   for   weed   ,   or   if   someone   needed   a   friend   to   vent   to   ,   she   can   surprisingly   be   all   ears   ,   but   never   follow   her   words   of   advice   .   she   does   mean   well   ,   it’s   just   that   she   doesn’t   know   what   she’s   saying   half   the   time   and   is   quite   reckless   ,   like   ask   her   to   pick   between   two   choices   and   she’ll   advice   you   to   take   the   riskier   one   bc   “   it’s   fun   don’t   be   a   prude   ”
you   can   say   that   she’s   an   enigma   ,   almost   an   intangible   concept   ,   the   kind      of   girl   that   can’t   be   tamed   ,   caught   ,   or   described   .   the   kind   you’ll   see   everywhere   but   can   never   grasp   of   why   she’s   there   .
very   good   at   lulling   people   into   a   false   sense   of   security   —   she   often   gives   off   the   feeling   that   she’s   the   one   oversharing   but   when   you   really   think   on   it   she   never   really   gives   up   any   information   about   herself   (willingly   ,   that   is   )
wanted plots  !
connection wise ??  give   me   everything   i   want   drinking   /   partying   buddies   ,  slowburns   ,   crushes  ,   fans   ,   fwbs   ,   a   girl   squad   would   be   alovely   ,   best   friends   !!!   ,   rivals   ,   toxic   friendships   ,   flirtationships   ,   frenemies   ,   e   N   E   mi   Es   ,   enemies   w   some   sexual   tension   cause   we   love   to   see   it   .   I   WANT   DRAMA   !!!
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bunny-xoxo · 3 years
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✨ Anon Playlist
For my ✨ anon, I hope it’s what you were looking for!
warning: slight timeskip!nishinoya spoilers, kissing?
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A/N: I tried to make this GN! since I don’t know your pronouns, if you have any problems please let me know!
Relationship Head Cannons
Okok reading your ask I definitely had to pair you with Nishinoya!! Looking at your interests and your personality etc. I think you guys would make a lovely couple :)
He definitely met you while traveling and immediately asked you for your number (this man is so bold and shameless you cannot tell me otherwise); he was probably a little ridiculous about it and loud and he could not believe you said yes
Went from 😉😁😏 to 👁👄👁,,,😳😳😳 so fast
Called Tanaka drunk after you gave him your number talking about how you have to be the one or something cause he just got some gorgeous babe’s phone number at the bar and he’s pretty sure it’s real
Tanaka still laugh’s about it with him all the time and Noya’s always like oml haha so embarrassing😅😅 stop it dude they’re gonna think I’m a creep 🤬
Nishinoya love’s it when you get to meet his friend’s and get along with them!! It make’s his heart so full!
Double dates with Tanaka and Kiyoko!!! And Noya’s just so🤩🤩 guys guys look at my bb!!!!
omg would endlessly brag about your cocktail making skills asjjskfjnkajeke and NO ONE asked but he can’t help himself
Would shamelessly ask you to paint him and then immediately start undressing for a nude painting  adjskfieurir 
Would for SURE ask you to read to him and it’s one of the few times he’s actually calm, he just finds it so calming he gets to stare at you and just bask in you and how much he loves you is the real reason
Love love loves listening to you talk about your current book obsession and just finds it so cute
let’s be honest just worships the ground you walk on
LOTS of stargazing on beaches at night
He would ask you an abundance of questions about literally anything you know or love cause he’s a passionate guy, too!! You guys could definitely talk for hours and hours and never get bored of each other
And the way you listen to him while he rants about literally any and everything makes his heart practically implode
He’s so soft for you too cause he never thought someone would actually be down for his lifestyle of traveling and having a good time but you do! And you enjoy it so much :)!
PHYSICAL AFFECTION
LOVES holding your hand cause not only does it let him run around and make sure he’s not gonna lose you in the crowd but it just makes him feel so close to you? And it let’s everyone know he’s your boyfriend which he takes so much pride in pls
All in all, your guys’ relationship is just so full of fun that when you guys get to lay and look at the stars together and everything slows down for that moment, Noya knows he really loves you and couldn’t imagine finding anyone better
And what you’ve been waiting for... your playlist!
Ok, so I did my best to match your playlist to the indie vibes you mentioned and keeping it to the scenario of just laying with Noya as best as I could!
I sincerely hope you enjoy, please tell me your thoughts!! Below is the listed songs in order and my explanation for each :). And if you need anything changed, please tell me!
1. Lost in Your Love - Colyer: This song definitely is reminiscent of when you two first met, seeing you just hit him like a truck. Now, he could let literally let go of anything in his life as long as you were there with him. He’s quite definitely lost in your love (talk about devoted, sheesh).
2. My Kind of Woman - Mac DeMarco: So this is written with the intent of keeping you gender neutral since I don’t know your pronouns, so I don’t specifically take the “woman” part of this song as inspiration, but rather the idea of the love in the song if that makes sense. But if this song makes you uncomfortable please let me know and I will happily replace this song. SIMP ALERT 🚨 please Noya wishes he could dedicate this song to you with his whole heart. It’s more of him just being in complete disbelief that YOU choose to be by his side (this is a common theme here 🙄) It doesn’t matter how long you two are together he will never get over letting him be by your side
3. Nothing - Bruno Major: PLS THIS SONG IS MAKING ME SO SOFT FOR NOYA😰✋  please, this is your guys song. The epitome of just laying in each other’s presence and enjoying the warmth and conversation between you two, it’s these moments that really make Noya fall in love with you
4. Something About You - sophie meiers: Noya was definitely more nervous to ask you to be an official couple than he was saying I love you LMAO. He was just so scared to be like look I really like you, please just let me be yours and please be mine officially and let me do couple things with you and show you cool things I like (definitely came off like 💧👁u👁..... be my girlfriend? 🧍‍♂️)
5. Pluto Projector - Rex Orange County: C’mon now TELL me this ain’t you and Noya 🙄✋ your relationship is definitely always in that “honeymoon” phase, you guys are just effortlessly obsessed with each other cause not only do you have so much love to give but so does he!! And this song is just pure ~vibes~
6. Fall - Chloe x Halle: Ok, this one is mainly just for the feeling of it, but okok. You and Noya laying and looking up at the stars and it starts to rain but he just won’t get up and you guys just lay there having a laughing fit until you pull him up and make him come back to the warmth of your guys’ home. And as you’re drying each other off and you have a towel around your shoulders and your still dripping a little and you’re handing him his tea and fuck you just look so perfect he can’t help but tell you he loves you
7. Honeybee - Steam Powered Giraffe: SLOW DANCE TIME, everyone's gotta have one right? It’s more soft behavior, but this song? WHEW. Noya know’s he will forever be trapped by you and your beauty and presence but he just couldn’t care less, the things you do to him, god he swears you’re gonna kill him.
8. Intertwined - dodie: There’s no way you could mention laying with your s/o and NOT have me put this song on there, please just listen to this song you’ll understand 🙏 pure cuddly, chill vibes
9. Turning Page - Sydney Rose: stop it this song makes me cry tell me you guys aren’t laying with each other, tracing each other’s features with your fingers, memorizing every little detail there is to notice (fuck this is so intimate i-)
10. Like You Do - Joji: 🚨A LITTLE NOYA ANGST IM SORRY🚨 Noya would be a little scared his lifestyle would become too much and it’s kind of an irrational fear he has for you, but at the same time he knows that you make him so happy and you love him so much he’d be willing to even change this for you if it meant you could keep loving him like you do now.
11. Goodbye Horses - Q Lazzarus: Did someone say late night cuddly and giggly make out sesh? 😳 Noya pulling away every time just to go “oh no sir🤠!” before kissing you again  ( :40 in the song, you’ll know what I’m talking about)
12. Body Language - Miki Ratsula: We get it you two 🙄✋ you like laying down and cuddling together
13. Dogs at the Beach - The Altogether: PLS this is just for vibes tbh
14. Wanna Know - Sabrina Claudio: I do feel like sometimes Noya is a very blunt guy who says it as is, and not everyone else is like that! So I’m sure sometimes he gets nervous that he’s too much for you and whether or not you love him as much as he loves you! But ultimately he knows you guys wouldn’t be where you are now if you didn’t love him (and then he immediately hates himself for even questioning your love, protect him pls)
15. Let Me Follow - Son Lux: TL;DR, all you need is each other’s love to exist and you couldn’t ask for more.
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AHHHH IT’S FINALLY HERE , I’m sorry this took so long! I was having a lot of problems with Tumblr and am a fairly new writer, I really hope you enjoyed this, please give me your feedback and thoughts! I want to make sure you got this :(
Feedback and opinions from anyone is appreciated!
request’s for playlist’s are currently closed until I finish the others, but I will make a post when they’re open again! And to all of those who have requested, they’ll be out shortly!! 
-🐇out
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wavesmp3 · 3 years
Text
directors cut: oasis
[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]
okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:
its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)
but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi
and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol
now for the timeline of me writing:
so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 
and then i started writing
and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 
but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 
i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did
and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)
but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol
also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically
anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.
okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]
so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol
also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city
i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 
also rashi is my favorite character xD
i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 
this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 
and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO
DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?
yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....
i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 
fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out
if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops
it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket
the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 
this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.
okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 
oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 
also the five friends part.....CUTE
when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why
okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally
i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 
also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 
I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick
oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities
so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy
saskila scares me omg
again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha
yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah
this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet
but this next scene makes me so sad
like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown
yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did
and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.
okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing
oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that
yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.
I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 
but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 
so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has
and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew
the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !
omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute
“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 
“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*
okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 
okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL
i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 
but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line
also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too
when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 
this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh
yeah that whole part i love so much 
the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!
so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol
okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 
news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad
gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 
the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol
but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol
honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.
but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe
these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright
i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 
“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 
this whole part... chills bro 
“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....
okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 
it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling
them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward
red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 
also kyunyu bestiessss
tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets
oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind
okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “
lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this
the running !!!
yeah also every part after that... tears okay
yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 
i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna
okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 
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Hello! :) I enjoy talking to you because you're so sweet. I hope you're well and I guess I'll ask: is there anything you want us to know about you that you don't mind sharing? x
Hello!
I love talking to you guys, it always makes me really happy to see your all doing well. And your all so nice😩!
There's nothing that interesting about me to be honest. I'll tell you some random things about me...
im the eldest of four, I literally know no-one else who likes the same music as me. I don't have many friends just a small group of lasses I've known most my life. I find it so hard to talk to people and I have no idea how to continue a conversation but I joined Tumblr and I've never enjoyed interacting with people more. Im not close to most my family. My dad's litteraly my best mate. I grew up playing bits on guitar but a couple or years ago I got proper into it. My favourite film is Austin powers (thanks to van) my favourite shows are new girl and modern family. I have and on and off relationship with my mother(going okay at the minute). I recently started coming out as bi to my friends, siblings and parents. (Way to scared to tell anyone else tho) me and van have the same plectrums and guitars (Thanks to my dad) If I'm ever feeling down I'll watch some vids of the lids and scroll through Tumblr. I have a lizard I love when people open up to me about things
If you've read it this far you know pretty much everything about me 😂
Thankyou for the ask! I love talking to you guys so feel free to talk to me abt anything!
I hope you're all doing well not dreaming of the lads too much 😉
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hi!! I had a few questions. I’ve been questioning if I’m a system for a while and I rlly don’t know at which point it’s ok to say I am(how do I become confident in that?). I truly feel like different people with separate identities at times, and like I possibly have passive influence..especially with gender and sexuality. but what if if my identity is just fluid? along with feeling like different people, at times I rlly feel like the world and body isn’t mine or that I’m not even real or human. I think im ghostkin(as in involuntarily I feel like I am a ghost..dinosaur too) but I wonder if these are actually non human (or “undead ghost”) alters? how do I tell? recently I also looked back on old(but honestly not even that old at all) conversations.. to find that I had an extremely different typing style and way of behaving.. it distressed me and I didn’t think I could ever behave like that… especially since the way I act/type has changed so much in a short period of time.. I don’t remember this change happening.. possibly it’s just me becoming more mature but I rlly felt disconnected from that “past me.” Ive also always had dissociation and have been forgetful at times… it feels like everyday besides the current present never actually happened and it’s hard to remember or feel like it was me that experienced it. I do end up remembering stuff (it depends-) but is that amnesia? bc I know to have DID and OSDD-1a u need amnesia… so I’m like .. if I don’t have it then would I have OSDD-1b?.. the problem I’m having though… is that I’m not exactly having any communication with ANYONE in any way and I know very little(no names and such) about any other alters except: one feels transmasc one feels transfem and I started calling the transfem one momo?.. there’s also me having a traumatic experience and started to identity 100% as a fictional character (two but mainly this one happens right at the trauma) so I wonder if it’s not a kin but a fictives? .. plus at a young age I do remember experiencing trauma … so it makes me wonder if I’m a system or not .. but honestly I don’t know how to tell at this point bc I’ve tried to talk to others and it doesn’t work … I don’t feel confident saying I’m a system bc my experiences are not the same as others.. (they have carrds listing s bunch of info on all alters) and I don’t…and I don’t want u to dx me!! I just don’t know what to do at this point in time..? I don’t know how to move forward or what I should do .. when is it ok to say I’m a system and how do I know which disorder I have?…I’m scared to tell my therapist ANYTHING mental health relays honestly
hi!! I had a few questions. I’ve been questioning if I’m a system for a while and I rlly don’t know at which point it’s ok to say I am(how do I become confident in that?). I truly feel like different people with separate identities at times, and like I possibly have passive influence..especially with gender and sexuality. but what if if my identity is just fluid? along with feeling like different people, at times I rlly feel like the world and body isn’t mine or that I’m not even real or human. I think im ghostkin(as in involuntarily I feel like I am a ghost..dinosaur too) but I wonder if these are actually non human (or “undead ghost”) alters? how do I tell? recently I also looked back on old(but honestly not even that old at all) conversations.. to find that I had an extremely different typing style and way of behaving.. it distressed me and I didn’t think I could ever behave like that… especially since the way I act/type has changed so much in a short period of time.. I don’t remember this change happening.. possibly it’s just me becoming more mature but I rlly felt disconnected from that “past me.” Ive also always had dissociation and have been forgetful at times… it feels like everyday besides the current present never actually happened and it’s hard to remember or feel like it was me that experienced it. I do end up remembering stuff (it depends-) but is that amnesia? bc I know to have DID and OSDD-1a u need amnesia… so I’m like .. if I don’t have it then would I have OSDD-1b?.. the problem I’m having though… is that I’m not exactly having any communication with ANYONE in any way and I know very little(no names and such) about any other alters except: one feels transmasc one feels transfem and I started calling the transfem one momo?.. there’s also me having a traumatic experience and started to identity 100% as a fictional character (two but mainly this one happens right at the trauma) so I wonder if it’s not a kin but a fictives? .. I also feel like often I’m possibly co con ?? bc I’ll feel unlike “me”/the body yet say “I have to be (body name) who else could I be)… plus at a young age I do remember experiencing trauma … so it makes me wonder if I’m a system or not .. but honestly I don’t know how to tell at this point bc I’ve tried to talk to others and it doesn’t work … I don’t feel confident saying I’m a system bc my experiences are not the same as others.. (they have carrds listing s bunch of info on all alters) and I don’t…and I don’t want u to dx me!! I just don’t know what to do at this point in time..? I don’t know how to move forward or what I should do .. I’m scared to tell my therapist ANYTHING mental health relays honestly Rn
Okay, first things first bud: slow down. Take a breath, and remember that there is absolutely no rush to come to these conclusions. Not about your system status, not about your gender, not about any of this stuff.
Next: As long as you’ve done your research, and taken time to really look at yourself and did/osdd/udd, and you feel like your experiences align with them, then it’s okay to self dx it.
As for the amnesia, yes. Amnesia is most commonly thought about as a complete black out, Idk what the hell happened at all kind of amnesia, but that’s not the only or even the most common type of amnesia. While black outs happen for some, grey outs (sort of remembering, but also not really, maybe like remembering big events but not any details of the event) or emotional amnesia (remembering something sort of but also feeling very emotionally disconnected) are far more common.
It’s important to remember that no ones experiences in system life are exactly the same way. Just because your experiences aren’t exactly the same as those you see doesn’t disqualify you from having the disorder at all. For every system you see out here having organisation and lists and blogs and whatnot there are three to five more you don’t see because their systems aren’t so comfortable with that or known or communicative or overt enough.
On a personal note, it took five years for us since we started questioning and noticing things to even accept and conclude that we were a system, and three years since that to get to the communication level that we have. Also, remember that here on Tumblr and on places like TikTok and whatnot, we get to choose how we present ourselves, what we do and do not share. We tailor how others see us. And most of the time for yalls viewing pleasure, we keep our dark shit off of this page. Our serious struggles and trauma and bad shit that comes with DID goes to our private vent page. What you see on social media is not ever going to be a 100% perspective of a disorder and all of the ways it manifests.
That being said, if you feel like you don’t quite fit the criteria for DID or OSDD, there is another diagnoses called UDD which can include those with systems. Please read this post for more on self dx, the criteria for DID, OSSD, and UDD, and related. (It’s also pinned in our pinned post, so you may or may not have read it already)
Lastly, the fact that you don’t feel comfortable talking to your Mental Health Professional about mental health is very concerning. I strongly recommend you get a new MHP asap with whom you can discuss these things if at all possible.
I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions or if I missed something you wanted a direct response to, don’t hesitate to ask. Always happy to answer to the best of my ability
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sincerelymarinette · 3 years
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A Recorded Life Sequel (2/10) - Miraculous Ladybug
Words 1479 Chapter Summary: School is back into the schedule and everyone is busy. Marinette uses a school project as an easy way to get a video done and Alya pops by. Author's Note: I'm back! I'm so sorry for going MIA the past few weeks but school has been kicking my butt with projects. School comes first, tho! Hoping to get back into regular updates but my semester is about halfway over and teachers are picking things up. Keep an eye on tumblr/wattpad if things get postponed! Also the ending sounds ominous but trust me it isn't, I just wanted a good way to wrap things up.
Prev / Next / Masterlist
Life Updates
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A few months into the school year
Adrien was still living with Marinette and her family. Though now he would have the mansion all to himself, he didn't want to be there. It was filled with harsh memories, and he couldn't even think about looking at the pictures of his father. Instead, he let Gorilla live there, rent-free and happy. He still accompanied Adrien when he went to Agreste Fashion, but he also knew Adrien could take care of himself.
But he couldn't leave Adrien alone after losing his mother, father, and closest thing to another parental figure. Gorilla was still there for him, picking Adrien up in the morning to get him to school, picking him up from school, and taking him wherever he needs, whether it be the offices or back to the bakery.
Marinette and her parents love having Adrien around. Tom and Sabine knew how hard it is for him, and letting him stay with them brought some normalcy into his life. Plus, he really enjoyed learning how to cook with them and even helping out in the bakery when it gets busy. They loved walking out into the living room to see the kids watching movies or playing video games, and waking up in the morning to find they fell asleep in the middle of their TV binge-watching time, all cuddled together.
Though it was more of an adjustment, Tom and Sabine also loved the Kwamis. Tikki is very sweet, and they love having Plagg taste test new ideas. Since Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't needed as much anymore, they're more like pets, but that doesn't change the love everyone has for them. Now with Marinette as the guardian of Paris' Miraculous, every so often, she lets them all come out to get a breath of fresh air. Being stuck in a box has got to be boring, and it's a lot of fun to see all the Kwami's interact.
Adrien loved the freedom of university and getting to study business. It was a lot to take on, but he was really excited to take Agreste Fashion in a better direction once he learned more and more. He may not be officially running it right now, and the COO is acting as CEO; he does get a lot of say in the way things go. When he first started, he immediately stripped Agreste Fashion of his father's name, and Gabriel is nowhere to be found; he will not let his father's bad choices run this business any longer.
While Adrien was having a great time with school, Marinette was stressing. Of course, she loved everything she was doing in her classes. She was finally able to take her designs to the next level and learn more than she could teach herself. Adrien already promised her a job at Agreste Fashion, but she's determined to earn her place and work her way up by herself.
Marinette had a busy week with a big project due. Since she's been distancing herself from videos (still posting at least weekly!), she figured to take advantage of the situation. Marinette had her camera set up to shoot the mannequin she was working on, and another camera pointed at her desk to get different shots for what part she was focusing on. She wouldn't post the video until after she got her grade back, but it never hurts to shoot something in advance.
As Marinette was carefully pinning a piece of fabric, she jumped at the sound of the trap door opening. "Ah!" She shouted when she poked herself. "Oh, Alya," She calmed down. "You scared me."
"I can see," She giggled. "I came to check up on you and bring you a smoothie," She offered her gift with a big smile. "And I wanted to see your work!"
Marinette gladly took the drink and nodded. "Thanks, nowhere near done yet. I'm recording the process for a video."
Alya gasped, acting offended. "And you're doing that without me, your camera operator?"
"You've been busy, too; I didn't want to stop you!" Marinette reasoned.
"Good point, but I'm going to sit here and help," She sat and sat on the chaise against the wall. Pulling out her laptop, Alya smiled. "I brought work with me. We can both work loving the company of each other," She said.
Marinette smirked as she got back to work. "Missing Nino?"
"Like you'd never imagine," Alya groaned back. "We talk all the time, but it's not the same. How's Adrien?"
"Honestly, better than I expected. He spends a decent amount of time at Agreste Fashion, but is always back in time for dinner. Speaking of, you want to stay?" Marinette offered, and Alya nodded in response. She yelled down to her mom to ask if it was okay, which Sabine said absolutely.
Alya started typing away at her computer to work on a paper while still making conversation with Marinette. "How are you all adjusting? I know Nino, Chloé, and I have gotten over most of it, but I'm sure it's different for you guys."
"Oh, you know, we're still working through it. Adrien sees a therapist, as expected, and it helps.  I think it just takes time, and school is definitely helping as a distraction. I can't imagine what will happen if Nathalie tries to contact him, but last we heard, she moved to the States when she was released. They made a compromise that she'd finish out community service there, especially since Gorilla said it would be more damaging to Adrien to have her still in Paris," Marinette rambled. "But other than that, good!" Marinette sighed, glad that she would be narrating the video in the editing phase.
Alya nodded. "I'm still shocked that he was a witness in court," She said. "But I'm glad he was. Though I don't believe her 'I was forced to!' defense, at least she won't be near us," Alya said. "It's a shame; she seemed nice. Well, before we found out."
Marinette shook her head with a slight laugh. "She scared me from the beginning. But so did Gabriel," Marinette reflected. They went back to work, having a few remarks here and there, and soon enough, they were called down for dinner. "Oh, Adrien, hey!" Marinette smiled when she got downstairs to see that Adrien was home, and had been, as he helped with dinner.
"Sorry I snuck in," He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "Hey, Alya, how are things?"
---
ahhhh i love Marinette's designs so much thEYRE BEAUTIFUL
when is this going to be in stores?? i need it like yesterday
I wonder when Adrien will give her a job at agreste fashion. we all know he wants to. but w h e n. I need my fashion power couple to take over the world
I loved Alya just chilling in the back, that's friendship. working independently but together (also is anyone else trying to figure out what they were talking about??) >Marinette Design's Reply Oh trust me it's nothing interesting. Just getting caught back up about school and life!
I'm so happy when you upload! Thanks Mari, hope you all are doing well.
I HEAR A NINO TRACK IN THE BACKGROUND IM SEEING HIM WITH JAGGED IN A FEW WEEKS AHHHHHH
one day we'll get a vlog from Marinette preparing for her first big time fashion show. With Adrien as a model. Manifesting it.
Marinette snickered as she read through the comments from her most recent video, and even replied to a few. She was waiting for Adrien to finish getting ready so they could head out for their date, and she was highly entertained by the comments. Only a few more minutes passed before Adrien came from the bathroom in a green sweater with a big smile on his face. "Ready to go, Milady?" He asked and held his arm out for her to take.
Marinette nodded and linked their arms. She was wearing a casual dress with leggings, looking nice but not being overdressed. They were excited to have a nice dinner together and act like a normal couple, which they never really had. They left the Kwamis at home and were ready to enjoy the evening, ready for a night for just them. Gorilla picked them up and drove them to the restaurant, and they only had two rules for tonight: No discussing past superhero adventures, and stay off the phones so they can enjoy each other's company.
The rules were easy to follow, as all they wanted to do was sit, talk, and eat. Maybe their lives would go back to normal faster than they thought. They were happy and excited for the future, and both were happy to talk about anything else than the trauma they have suffered.
Marinette, however, did miss running around on rooftops with her cat.
---
@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries  @toodaloo-kangaroo 
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icyharrington · 5 years
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Is It Wrong?- Part 7 (Michael Langdon X Reader)
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hello!!! so i have been trying so hard these past few weeks trying to get this final part of iiw right. i am insanely nervous to put this out there, because i don’t wanna disappoint any of the amazing people who followed this series from the beginning. i wanna thank all the thirsty hoes who have supported this fic and given me feedback, because y’all are the reason i had the motivation to finish the series. this is the most fun i’ve ever had writing anything, ever. i can’t believe this series is finally coming to an end 🤧BUTTTTT don’t forget that there will be an additional, shorter epilogue chapter! so stay tuned for that ;) I LOVE Y’ALL!!!! 
plot: michael langdon is a picture-perfect fuckboy, and, lucky for you, he’s also your stepbrother. how will you survive?
warnings: inappropriate relationships, fuckboy michael, fem!Reader, high school au, teen angst, like seriously A FUCK TON OF TEEN ANGST, fluff, vaginal fingering, handjobs, sexual intercourse, (semi?) public sex, dirty talk
word count: 12.8k (IM SORRY LMFAOOO) 
tags: @alicecooper19 @ritualmichael @blackfyrez @bbyduncan @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @michaelsapostle @trelaney @kissydevil @langdonalien @langdonsdemon @sloppy-wrist @michael-langdon-appreciation @wroteclassicaly @cocosfern @sojournmichael @starwlkers @theinevitableprophecy @sodanova @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @divinelangdon @maso-xchrist @space-princesssss @ahslangdon101 @isabellaserpentiawesson @stupidocupido @nana15774 @urlocalgothb @hexqueensupreme @gold-dragon-slayer @pr1ncessd1e @langdonsboots @langdonstrash @prophesieddarling @isoldedax @fckinsupreme @lvngdvns @hisgirlwonder @telexnesis @venusxxlangdon @obsessivenostalgicbaby @noelle525 @kleinegamerin @lambofcairo @kiiteiru @anacerta @nuke-em-from-orbit @thingsthatoncemeantnothing @littledemondani @beriveri @dcvilrising @grossgayartist @featherpool-852 @imjustasadhoe @cryptid-coalition @nu-tt @diamcndscarred @michaelsfrenchtoast @ms-mead @sarcasticbxtch20 @ringpop-poppy @coollangdon @s7venwonders @littlehouseofleaves @elvahavax @king-of-mischief-and-bitchez @alternativepetewentz @maytheforcebewithqueen
(sorry to anyone who asked to be tagged but isn’t in my tag list!! tumblr won’t let me tag certain blogs for some reason!!)
i.
“Goddamn it, how hard is it for you to follow simple GPS directions?” Miriam’s voice was pitched in annoyance as she scolded your father, whose knuckles were near white from how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel.
“You know what? Why don’t I just pull over, and you drive instead?” your father snapped. You and Michael exchanged a glance in the back seat for what seemed like the thousandth time since you’d all loaded into the car several hours before.
In celebration of summer vacation, and you and Michael’s recent graduation from high school, your father and Miriam had decided to arrange something of an impromptu vacation. Your father was far too cheap to travel anywhere of any significant distance, so he’d decided that the next best option was to take a road trip down to Myrtle Beach, Florida.
“Oh my god, yes,” Michael had said to you after your parents had broken the news to you both. “Do you know how many half-naked sluts we’re gonna see there? Myrtle Beach is like, white trash central.”
That comment had been the fuel for one of the many arguments you and Michael had engaged in following graduation; there was tension in the air, hanging thick and heavy over your heads as the days crept along, and the mindless bickering between you and Michael was at an all time high.
Not that it stopped either of you from having sex. Quite the contrary, in fact— you and Michael had been having so much sex that it was maybe even getting a little ridiculous.
“Seriously, Michael?” you’d said after his crude comment, your tone far whinier than originally intended. “Go fuck one of those half-naked white trash sluts instead of me, then.”
It’d taken him several minutes to convince you that he’d been joking (even though you were still fairly certain that he’d been dead serious) followed by some admittedly top-quality make up sex, which proved to be enough to convince you to move on.
Maybe something was in the water, you thought. Even Miriam and your father had seemed to be fighting constantly as of late, and the stressful atmosphere of the household made you feel constantly on edge; it almost felt like there was an impending disaster coming, one that was impossible to prevent. You only hoped that whatever disaster might be on its way would avoid you and Michael.
Right now, Michael was leaning with his forehead resting against the window, a bored look on his face as he skipped through the music playing on his phone. He only had one earbud in, the other draped over his shoulder (presumably so he could eavesdrop on your parents’ ridiculous arguments), dressed casually in light gray sweatpants and a faded Jimi Hendrix shirt.
Fuck, he looked good. He was jostled slightly with each slight motion of the car as it moved forward, the muscles in his arms subtly flexing as he reached up to run his fingers through his soft, tousled blond hair. For a second, your mind was clouded with images of a beach-bound Michael, his tanned, water-speckled torso lean but still toned, swimming trunks clinging to the lowest point of his narrow hips and leaving almost nothing up to the imagination. Your mouth watered.
“You know, if I’d driven, we would’ve actually arrived at the hotel by the time the GPS said,” Miriam said.
“So why didn’t you!?” your father exclaimed.
You locked eyes with Michael yet again, whose pale eyes glimmered with slight amusement at the nonstop back-and-forth between your parents.
“Because you insisted on driving.”
“Insisted? All I did was offer to drive out of the kindness of my— oh fuck, I think we just passed the hotel.”
“We did,” offered Michael flatly from the backseat, the soft glow of the neon hotel sign reflecting in his pupils as he craned his neck to follow the building.
“Goddamn it,” your father muttered, scanning the road for somewhere to make a U-turn.
“Nice going,” Miriam muttered under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest.
You were jerked forward as your father abruptly turned the car around in an act that you were ninety-nine percent sure was illegal; in a matter of seconds, the car was parked in the hotel parking lot, officially marking the end of the several-hour-long trek. Everyone seemed to let out a unanimous sigh of relief.
“Fucking finally,” said Michael, opening the door and swinging his legs outside so his ratty Converse sneakers made contact with the asphalt. You followed suit, making your way around to the trunk, which you popped open to retrieve your colorful travel bag.
The sound of crickets chirping through the mild Florida night was soothing despite its incessantness, and you found yourself smiling idly, a warm breeze gently caressing your face. So maybe you weren’t in the goddamn Dominican Republic, but you were still prepared to enjoy your time here.
Once everyone had taken their respective belongings from the trunk, your father led the way to the front entrance of the hotel.
The hotel lobby was nice, but certainly nothing special; it didn’t take a genius to figure out that the sole reason your father had chosen this place above all others was because it was the cheapest. Your father, weighed down with his overstuffed black bag, trudged over to the front desk with a pained look on his face.
“Imagine this place is infested with roaches,” said Michael lowly, flashing you a shit-eating grin when your face paled at this terrifying prospect.
“Shut up. My dad isn’t that much of a cheapskate.”
“Or what if it’s haunted?” he said, furrowing his brows to mimic a deadly serious expression.
“It’ll be haunted by your ghost in about five seconds if you don’t shut your mouth.”
“I saw this thing online about a girl who went missing, and then they found her in the water tower of the hotel,” he continued, and you rolled your eyes. It wasn’t at all surprising that he was trying to scare you. “And like, all the people staying there were showering and stuff, but little did they know they were washing themselves in dead body water.”
“Can you shut up, please?”
His plump lips contorted into a devious smile. “What, am I scaring you?”
“No, you’re just being really fucking annoying.”
“Aww, don’t worry, (y/n). I’ll protect you from any ghosts or cockroaches that might be here.” He pulled you into a side hug, squeezing you against him with an iron grip as he nuzzled the top of your head with his chin. You pulled away, exerting minimal strength but still managing to evade his grasp.
“Are you going to be this obnoxious the entire trip?” you said, watching as your father appeared to be looking for something in his pockets. After patting himself down for several seconds, he said something to the man behind the front desk; whatever it was that he’d said resulted in Miriam’s face contorting into a look that could easily kill anyone three times over.
“Here we go,” Michael whispered, mouth twitching at the corners as he averted his attention away from you and onto your parents instead.
“You’re an idiot,” Miriam was saying, practically seething as she spoke. “A goddamn idiot. How the hell did you manage to forget the credit card?!”
Your father’s mouth opened and closed as he attempted to come up with a response good enough to satiate his fuming wife, but of course there was none.
“How did he forget the credit card?” Michael said.
You shrugged.
Miriam huffed loudly as she began to dig through her purse, shooting your father a contemptuous glare when her hand emerged, leather wallet in tow. You watched as she pulled out her credit card, handing it over the front desk to the visibly uncomfortable man standing there.
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, the muscles in your arms starting to burn from the weight of your travel bag.
Michael, having apparently lost interest in your parents’ altercation, suddenly turned back to face you. “You think I’ll be able to pass for over 21 at the hotel bar?”
Before you could respond, your father was making his way over to you, brandishing two key cards in either hand. “We decided it’d be best for all of us if you and Michael had your own room. You guys don’t mind, do you?”
He handed you a card, and as you looked it over, you tried your hardest not to pay any attention to Michael.
It was truly astounding how clueless everyone seemed to be in regards to your relationship (if you could call it that) with your stepbrother, but you definitely weren’t complaining. Just the thought of having a room all to yourselves was enough to make your heart race.
“Of course we don’t mind,” you said with a smile.
“Just— y’know. Miriam and I have some things we need to work out, and, well, I don’t want you guys swept up in any of the drama,” said your father.
“Totally understandable, dad,” said Michael, beaming as he snaked his free arm around your shoulders. “I’m sure we’ll be able to manage. What do you think, (y/n)?”
Michael widened his eyes at you, the contorted features of his porcelain face dripping with faux-innocence.
“Yeah, I think so,” you said, tone cheerful and sweet.
In unison, you and Michael looked away from one another and back to your father. His eyes were shadowed with deep rings, and he looked more like he was about to head off to a 9-to-5 shift at a dead-end job rather than a vacation with his family. “You kids be good, all right?”
“Don’t worry,” you said, ripples of electricity making their way up your spine as Michael lightly stroked your shoulder with his calloused fingertips. “We will.”
ii.
“Room number 69, huh?” Michael said with a quirk of his eyebrow, licking his lips as he plucked the key card from your hand and slid it into its designated slot by the door. “It’s like they knew we were gonna be staying here.”
“You are eighteen years old,” you said in a monotone, though secretly Michael’s immature sense of humor and silliness were qualities that never failed in making your heart swell.
There was a subtle beep as the light next to the slot flickered green, and Michael pushed open the door with one shoulder, the other occupied with his bag. “How fucking awesome is this?”
You followed him into the modestly-sized room, discarding your bag at the end of one of the two pristinely made beds. Michael did the same, and without even giving you time to settle into your new surroundings, he pushed you firmly up against the nearest empty wall.
Even despite the fact that he’d been sitting in a hot car for several hours (unsurprisingly, your father was very stingy with the air conditioning), Michael still managed to smell good; the intoxicating mixture of his shampoo, paired alongside his boyish deodorant and woodsy cologne, was dizzying from such a close proximity.
“You didn’t waste any time,” you chuckled, cheeks flushing as he began to pepper kisses along your neck and behind your ear, lifting one hand to brush your hair over your shoulder.
“Why would I?” he said, his voice low and seductive. He took a moment to playfully nip at your earlobe, and you squealed, wrapping your arms around him so you could pull his firm torso closer to yours. “What else are you supposed to do when you’re left all alone with such a pretty girl?”
As much as you weren’t willing to admit it, your heart soared at this validation- Michael thought you were a pretty girl. Those words, coming from that perfect mouth, made you feel a childish sense of giddiness, gave you butterflies in the pit of your stomach like an innocent playground crush.
Michael wandered one hand up over the curve of your hip and onto your waist, lips still moving open-mouthed against your jugular and around to the front of your throat. Reaching up to the back of Michael’s head, you took a fistful of butterscotch-colored hair at the root, using it to guide him back towards your face. Then you kissed him, hard and passionate, your fingers threading easily through his waves as his tongue slipped past yours and into your mouth.
Ding!
You assumed Michael’s phone had just gone off, but neither of you paid it any mind, your breath hitching as Michael slid one veined hand up under your tank top to grope your left breast.
Ding!
“My pretty baby sis,” Michael breathed, swollen mouth slick with saliva. Panting softly, he continued to ignore his phone, tugging his t-shirt over his head and tossing it behind him haphazardly.
With his upper body exposed to you now, you took the opportunity to trace your fingers down the length of his subtly defined abs, stopping just beneath his navel. Just below that, after the cute trail of fuzzy blond hair that paved the way to his v-line, was the low-hanging waistband of his gray sweatpants; you hooked your fingers there, just barely pulling the fabric down as you eyed the mouthwatering bulge prominent in the front of his pants.
You couldn’t help yourself- biting your lower lip, you brought your hand between Michael’s legs and grasped his semi-erect length through the soft material of his pants.
Ding! Ding!
Michael hissed, but he seemed to be somewhat distracted now; you knit your eyebrows as he twisted around to face the source of the interruption- his phone, which he’d left on one of the beds.
Ding!
“What is that?” you asked, frowning. It wasn’t often that Michael tolerated anything getting in the way of his hookups, so you found it mildly concerning when he broke away from you entirely to go and grab his phone.
His tongue poked out of the corner of his lips as he looked at his screen, and you could tell that he was stifling a smirk. “Oh. Uh, it’s nothing.”
You moved from your place against the wall, approaching Michael with your arms crossed in front of your chest. Sure, maybe it was none of your business, seeing that you weren’t Michael’s girlfriend or anything, but he’d piqued your curiosity.
Ding! Ding! Michael fumbled with the phone for a second before turning it on silent.
You cocked your head to one side. “No really, what is that?”
Michael had hidden his phone behind his back now, bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet.
“I told you, it’s nothing.”
Okay, now you had to know.
“C’mon, lemme see,” you said, trying your hardest not to sound upset. Why were you upset, anyway? You reached around Michael to take his phone from his hand, which, surprisingly, he allowed you to do without much protest.
You looked down at his phone, jaw dropping as you began reading over the several notifications stretching down the length of his screen.
NEW MATCH! With Sofi
NEW MATCH! With Katherine
NEW MATCH! With Kristen
NEW MATCH! With Mallory
NEW MATCH! With Caitlin
NEW MATCH! With Anna
Your eyes flickered up to Michael’s face, down to the phone screen, and then back again, unsure of how exactly you were supposed to react to such a discovery. Michael just offered you a sheepish shrug, somehow only pissing you off further, and angrily you shoved his phone back into his hands.
“Are you fucking kidding? We’ve been here for less than an hour and you’re already trying to find hoes on Tinder?”
“Well, I mean, that’s one way to put it,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just wanted to see what kind of girls live around here, I swear. I wasn’t actually gonna-“
“-Whatever,” you mumbled, bending over to unzip your travel bag. It wasn’t like you had any sort of right to be pissed- Michael could do what he wanted, and if what he wanted was to hook up with random Tinder girls, then so be it. Still, though, you couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
You rifled around in your bag until you came upon the neat ziploc bag full of travel-sized shower essentials, which you tucked under your arm. “I’m gonna go take a shower. I feel gross.”
“Wait, (y/n). Are you mad at me?” You weren’t sure if he actually cared about hurting your feelings, or if he was worried that you wouldn’t want to fuck him anymore; either way, you didn’t think right now was the best of times to be honest about your feelings.
“Why would I be mad at you?” Your voice sounded dangerously close to breaking, and you knew it (and so did Michael, most likely).
“Well… I dunno. You seemed pretty pissed just now.”
“No, no. Do whatever you want. Fuck as many Tinder girls as your heart desires. It’s not like we’re exclusive.” You continued to search through your bag, pulling out your pajamas and hair towel and tucking them alongside your shower supplies.
“Someone sounds bitter,” Michael mused, causing you to narrow your eyes at him in a focused, pointed glare.
“I thought it was sort of established already that this-“ he motioned at himself, and then to you- “isn’t gonna go anywhere. So I don’t really see the harm in looking around.”
Instantly, you felt a lump form in the back of your throat.
He was right. You’d even said it yourself, that nothing good would ever become of this thing you had with Michael; as much as you wanted it to, it was impossible. So why did it hurt so bad to hear it coming from him?
“Which is why I’m not mad,” you said, swallowing thickly. “Do what you want. I don’t care.”
But, like the cliché you were, you did care. Thinking of Michael with anyone else made you feel sick to your stomach. But what were you supposed to do about it? You were his stepsister.
God, if only things had been different. If only the universe hadn’t brought you together in the most inconvenient and unconventional of ways.
You turned on your heels, leaving Michael behind as you made your way to the bathroom without another word.
Once you’d started the shower and adjusted the temperature, you stripped down, catching a glimpse in the mirror of the many marks adorning your body that Michael had left behind at some point or another- hickeys (some bright lilac and navy blue, while others were fading shades of yellow and pink, all speckled down your chest and over your breasts), fingerprint-shaped bruises, shallow scratches.
And those were just the physical ways that Michael had marked you; you were sure that if you turned yourself inside out, there would be thousands more markings to be found.  
You thought maybe this was exactly what you needed right now: a long, hot shower to clear your head. Maybe, if the mood struck, you’d even cry a little bit, just to get your emotions in order.
You stepped into the shower, flinching at the intensity of the stream as it cascaded relentlessly over your body. Shutting your eyes, you ran your palms over your face, skin prickling at the pleasant warmth of the water. After you’d allowed your hair to get sufficiently soaked, you reached for your travel-sized bottle of shampoo, squirting some of the coconut-scented gel into your hand and working up a lather.
You were halfway through your usual hair-washing routine when you heard the bathroom door open; you opened one eye, hardly wider than a squint, to see a tall, blond-haired figure through the steamy glass shower door entering the bathroom. Though the thick layer of steam on the door heavily obscured the intruder, you were still able to see that whoever had entered was butt fucking naked.
Fucking Michael.
There was a metallic squeak as the shower door slid open, revealing an image to you that must’ve been hand-delivered by an angel. There, in all his naked glory, stood Michael, one hand positioned by his side and the other gripping his impressively hard cock.
It was a miracle you didn’t slip and crack your skull open right then.
“Hey,” said Michael coolly, a smug smirk appearing on his lips when he noticed you staring at his length.
“Michael, what are you doing?” you asked, attempting to sound just a little less eager than you were feeling. You tilted your head back, quickly washing away the excess shampoo in your hair, and as you did this, Michael joined you in the shower.
“Saving water,” Michael replied, pulling the door shut and enclosing the two of you within the stream.
“How environmentally friendly of you.”
“Aww, are you still mad at me?” You tensed as he grabbed your hips and brought you closer to him, the head of his cock brushing your stomach and sending chills throughout your body.
“I was never mad at you,” you said flatly. You kept rinsing your hair, refusing to give Michael the attention he clearly was so desperately seeking (not yet, at least).
“You were a little jealous though, weren’t you?” he teased, squeezing your tits without warning and making you jump. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ve already told you before that your pussy is my favorite.”
“I was never worried,” you snapped, but you couldn’t deny the arousal that immediately resulted from Michael’s words.
“Whatever you say, baby,” said Michael, spinning you around so that your back was pressed against his bare chest. You shivered at the feeling of his big cock on your ass, and all at once, whatever snarky comeback you’d been formulating disintegrated into nothingness.
Your eyes fell shut as Michael’s hands traveled over your body, his touch gentle but still possessive; he stopped at your tits, kneading the smooth peaks in both hands until they stung, kissing your shoulder when you squirmed at the slight discomfort. “Just relax and let your big brother take care of you.”
He retrieved your body wash off the ledge in the shower, gathering some in his palms and returning his attention to your tits. You leaned back, resting the back of your head on his broad shoulder as he began rubbing the body wash all over you (mainly focusing on your breasts, because what else would you expect from Michael Langdon?).
His slippery hands felt like heaven on your tits, pinching and toying with your nipples just the way you liked. It wasn’t until his hand began dipping lower, though, that your breath caught in your throat.
His fingers trailed past your stomach and down to cup your cunt, goosebumps erupting across your skin as he hummed in your ear. Your entire body reacted to his touch, muscles tightening and thighs trembling, hips rolling back so you could better feel his deliciously thick cock against your back.
“You like that? Like how I touch you?” he murmured, his words reverberating against your throat and igniting a fresh wave of arousal between your legs.
With one hand, he used his fingers to splay apart your outer lips, gathering some of your wetness by stroking up and down your slit while his other hand worked at your tits. A familiar heat began to spread from behind your navel, and paired with the near-scalding warmth and great pressure of the shower stream, you felt your head start to spin.
You laid your head back on Michael’s shoulder, trusting him to keep you balanced as you reclined limply against him. His fingers moved upwards again, using the sticky arousal on the tips of his fingers to massage slow, lazy circles over your aching bud; you let out a gravelly moan just as Michael administered a sharp pinch to your hardened nipple.
“Fuck, Michael… feels so good.”
You were well past the point of preserving your pride, bucking your hips against Michael’s hand while trying to squeeze your thighs shut around it, keeping him close to you.
“Hm? Is that right? You like when I touch your pussy?” His voice was husky, rich and warm like a roll of tropical thunder; swallowing noisily, you bobbed your head up and down in agreement.
Garnering what little energy you had left, you extended your arm behind you, spreading your fingers in search of Michael’s erection; tongue darting out to wet your chapped lips at the feeling of his stiff, smooth skin, you followed the slightly jutting vein that wound up the side of his length, stopping at the head of his cock and running your thumb over his leaking slit.
He groaned at the sensation, encouraging you on. You returned your hand to the base of his cock, grazing your fingers along his sensitive balls before taking a firm hold of his shaft, pumping your fist up and down his length with as much vigor as you could manage.
“Fuck,” he grunted, and although he now had the added task of awaiting his own impending orgasm alongside bringing you to yours, his fingers did not falter between your legs. Every throaty groan passing his lips seemed to drive his fingers into more of a frenzy, forming fast, sloppy shapes on your aching bud until you were crying out.
“That’s a good- fuck- girl. Keep jerking your big brother’s cock, just like that. Feels so fucking good,” he breathed against your skin, making you shiver even despite the heavy, humid warmth of the bathroom. You could no longer see anything through the glass door, which had become entirely overtaken with thick fog; for a moment you felt like this was the only place on earth that existed- a closed-off world of steam and water and porcelain made just for you and Michael.
With your eyes shut tight as the coil in your belly prepared to snap, all you could do was listen to the melodic blend of sounds enveloping the small space and attempt to move your body in time with the makeshift rhythm. Not one sound fell upon deaf ears- you were hyper-aware of every vulgar, human noise; every breath and every moan; every squeak of wet feet on the slick white floor.
This might be the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard, you thought.
“Fuck, Michael— more.” Stretching your other arm back to desperately grab at Michael’s damp mop of waves, you allowed yourself to come undone, arching your back so your erect nipples were pointed up towards the ceiling.
Michael brought his free hand away from your breasts, instead using it to brace himself against the shower door, creating a hand-shaped imprint in the steam that immediately began to drip with condensation.
Without thinking, you let go of Michael’s hair to join his hand on the glass; lacing your fingers through his, you worked at his cock with your opposite hand until his breaths grew ragged and choppy- a sure-fire sign that he was about to cum.
“Fuck, (y/n), keep going,” he moaned breathlessly, pressing his thumb harshly against your clit and nearly causing your knees to buckle underneath you. “Gonna- fuck.”
His cock twitched in your hand, and with that, he was cumming, shooting his thick load all over your ass and lower back. Miraculously, even as he recovered from his orgasm, he still continued to touch you; his fingers were like magic on your clit, and within a matter of seconds, you, too, were being sent over the edge.
“Oh god, Michael—“
Even during an earth-shattering orgasm like the one you were experiencing, you still were able to notice the way that Michael had switched spots on the glass with you, his large hand enclosing around yours and squeezing.
He didn’t remove his hand from between your thighs until you were twitching and overstimulated, and once he did, he pulled you into a hug, his strong arms cradling you against his chest.
Your eyes fluttered open and shut again, like a person caught between life and death, when he planted a tender kiss to the top of your head.
“I’m never gonna find anyone else like you,” he said, hardly louder than a whisper. You weren’t sure whether it was a reassurance to you, or a solemn statement of distress.
Either way, you swore you could hear something like sadness behind his words.
iii.
Since Miriam and your father were too preoccupied with their arguing to arrange any family excursions, you and Michael were left to your own devices.
Those next few days in Florida, your life was about as close to a teen romance movie as it could get. You and Michael spent the days exploring the nearby towns, trying out restaurants (it’d taken a startlingly long while for you to convince Michael to try out one of the local cafés for breakfast instead of McDonald’s, which had been his original idea) and going shopping; on one occasion, you shared a joint with Michael before dragging him to the local aquarium, which he’d pretended to be entirely disinterested in (even though you could see the wonder and fear in his eyes whilst staring at the shark exhibit- what would happen if the glass broke? he’d asked, nervously drumming his fingers on the paneling as a particularly large shark swam by).
You shared ice cream with him on the boardwalk, licking the chocolate soft serve that had melted off the cone and onto Michael’s hand off his fingers; you rubbed sunscreen on each other at the beach (although Michael wasn’t nearly as thorough as you were, and most of the time you’d wind up with a nasty sunburn thanks to his negligence); you bought 99-cent popsicles from a vendor, making out with cherry-stained lips while the sun went down.
At night, you’d sit on the beach, sometimes stoned, talking and laughing as the waves rolled in and out on the shore.
It was 3 am on your last night in Florida, and you and Michael had snuck out of the hotel room and walked down to the beach, large checkered blanket and a bottle of red wine in tow (Michael had charmed the woman behind the counter in a sketchy liquor store in order to obtain this). You were sitting side-by-side, thoughts clouded from the effects of the alcohol with your knees drawn to your chest, when a sudden realization washed upon you like one of the rumbling waves breaking against the shore.
You were in love with Michael Langdon.
This was an unwavering, undeniable fact; you were in love with him. You loved him, even the parts of him that, at one point, you had hated. The realization was both peaceful and upsetting.
“Michael,” you said, huddling closer to yourself as a cool breeze cut through the night. What were you going to say to him? You couldn’t very well tell him about the epiphany you’d just had- he’d been on Tinder just a few days ago, for god’s sake. But, still, you felt compelled to say something.
“Hmm?” He stretched out his legs, running his palms up and down his sand-covered calves. In the darkness, you could hardly make out the features of his face, save for the sparkling reflection in his eyes as he looked out towards the ocean.
You licked your lips, taking a swig from the half-empty bottle of wine that had been positioned upright in the sand. You winced at the bittersweet taste washing over your tongue, the blood-colored liquid sloshing noisily against its glass confines as you brought it back down to your side.
“I don’t know,” you said, suddenly feeling stupid. “It’s just- I don’t want this all to be over.”
“Me either,” he said, putting his arm around you and drawing you closer to him. You inhaled sharply, breathing in the scent of wine and stale cigarettes and salt water like it was oxygen and you’d just been saved from drowning. “I didn’t think I would, but I had a really great time this week.”
You shook your head. “I’m not just talking about this week. I just mean in general. I feel like it’s all ending so soon.”
“Oh.” He took in a breath, an especially large wave hitting the shore with a startling crash. “God, this fucking sucks, doesn’t it?”
“Michael, I-“ I love you. The remaining words settled on the back of your tongue, refusing to roll off, but perhaps it was for the better. “-I think in another life, we could’ve worked out. Could’ve been something more than what we are. You know?”
If only, if only, if fucking only.
“Lucky us, being born in the universe where we’re fucking step siblings,” Michael laughed, but there was a deep sadness in his voice that you’d never heard before. “But, (y/n). Even though shit isn’t working out the way we wanted it to, and even though it’s gonna hurt when we both go away to college, I’m still so glad that I met you.”
“I’m glad I met you, too.”
There was only silence for a long moment as Michael reached for the wine bottle and took an indulgent sip. “There’s so much shit I wish could’ve been different,” he said finally, angling his head up towards the velvet blackness of the night sky. “I wish I’d treated you differently. I wish I hadn’t been so fucking scared of feeling something.”
You ran your fingers through the soft sand, forming meaningless patterns there as you listened to Michael open up for what felt like the first time since you’d met him.
“I used to lie awake at night and think of how fucking unfair this all is. That the one girl I’ve ever really wanted is the one girl I can’t have. I used to think if maybe I pushed you away, treated you like shit, that everything would hurt less. But it just hurt me more, seeing you in pain from the shit I put you through. And now I realize that it’s all gonna hurt the same either way. ‘Cause I’ll never have you the way I want.”
You felt a well-known pinching behind your eyes, and you blinked, silently willing away the tears that were threatening to escape. You kept your eyes on the drawings you’d made in the ground, knowing that if you were to look into Michael’s eyes, you’d probably break.
“What’s gonna happen to us, Michael? We can’t just wait for each other while we’re away at college and miss out on life. But god, I wanna be with you,” you said, voice quivering.
“I don’t know,” he said softly, shaking his head. “I say we just…live our lives. And if it’s meant to be, it will be. One day.”
You nodded, dragging your fingers through the sand and destroying the mindless spirals and swirls you’d formed. “One day.”
“But enough with all that sad shit,” said Michael, taking your chin in hand and moving it so you were looking at him. “What’s important is that we have each other right now. So let’s make the most of that, hm?”
The look in Michael’s eyes told you right away what he meant by making the most of your time together; your cheeks were hot, prickling from the red wine, fingertips burning to touch something. So you did- you grabbed the front of Michael’s shirt, yanking him towards you and placing a haphazard, open-mouthed kiss on his lips.
The kiss was aggressive and feverish; it didn’t take long for Michael to lay you down on the checkered blanket, his hands wandering your body like it belonged to him (and, in a way, it did).
When Michael broke away to catch his breath, panting, you decided to try something new: with all the strength you could muster, you pushed Michael off of you and promptly rolled on top of him instead, straddling him with your knees on either side of his torso.
In the faint glow of the silvery moonlight, you could see an indistinct smirk playing at his lips; it wasn’t often that you were the one to take control, but it was obvious, from the growing protrusion in the front of his pants, that he liked the change.
You leaned down to reattach your lips to his, hips rocking back and forth over his bulge until the friction sent shock waves up your spine. With you bent forward, Michael was easily able to slide his veined hands up the back of your short skirt, taking two greedy fistfuls of your ass.
Almost frantically, you tore your shirt off over your head, not bothering to worry about where it landed. Now, the only thing separating your breasts from the nighttime air was a thin lace bralette, which Michael took to palming you through.
“Fuck, (y/n),” murmured Michael, rolling one of your hardened nipples between two fingers. “You have seriously got the best tits.”
“Yeah? You think so?” you said, a twinge of playful mocking to your voice; you wrapped your fingers around Michael’s wrists, maneuvering them so that both his hands were fondling your breasts.
“Fuck yeah, I think so,” he said, and you only wished there was just a bit more light so you could properly admire him in his disheveled, lustful state.
“Even better than those girls on Tinder you matched with?” you taunted, grinding your hips down hard against Michael’s erection. “I wonder what they’d think about all the times you’ve been balls deep in your stepsister.”
At this, he tightened his grip on your tits, twisting them almost painfully before hoisting up the thin fabric of your bralette so your nipples were exposed. You helped him in removing the garment, pulling it off and throwing it alongside your shirt, never once ceasing the motion of your hips against his clothed, twitching cock.
“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood,” Michael said, running his thumbs over your nipples. “Otherwise I’d take you over my lap and spank your ass raw for being such a little bitch.”
“And you’re lucky you have a big dick,” you shot back, words catching in your throat when he tugged hard on one of your nipples. “Otherwise I never would’ve given your fuckboy ass the time of day.”
This was a lie, of course, but your lighthearted tone of voice was enough to let him know that you were only messing around.
Michael scoffed. “No, I think you’re the one who’s lucky that I have a big dick, considering that you’re a total fucking cock-hungry slut.”
You stifled a laugh. Well, he’s not wrong.
“Is that a complaint?” you said, lips quirking as you scooted your body slightly downward, giving yourself room to pull Michael’s now-fully hard cock out. Sinking your teeth into your lower lip, you took the pulsing length in hand, moving your thin panties to the side and repositioning yourself so that the head of Michael’s cock was nestled just barely against your entrance.
Michael shook his head rapidly, a throaty grunt passing his lips. “Obviously- fuck- not.”
It was almost amusing to you, the way you and Michael had gone from having a heartfelt conversation to teasing each other relentlessly, but you supposed that was what you loved about your dynamic anyway. Unable to hold off any longer, you guided Michael’s cock inside you, gliding down easily on his length until he was fully seated inside. Your mouth fell open, and as you began to properly ride him, he brought his hands to grip your hips with a tight, bruising hold.
“Fuck, Michael,” you sighed, tits bouncing as you rolled your hips forward, increasing your momentum. Michael slid one hand from your hip to your inner thigh, pinching the tender skin before bringing his thumb to your clit and rubbing firm circles over it.
A pleasant, salt water-scented breeze passed by as you rode Michael, further disheveling your hair, which you ran your fingers through; the lewd noises of your body connecting with Michael’s were overtaken by the unmistakable sounds of the tide.
“Good girl, riding my cock so fucking good,” Michael breathed, lifting up his free hand so he could push two fingers into your mouth. Your eyelids fluttered at the salt of his skin, lips instinctively wrapping around his calloused digits and sucking.
Swirling your tongue over Michael’s fingers, you continued riding him, swaying your hips in figure-eight motions; the thick girth of his cock stretched your tight walls, and from this angle, you could practically feel him in your stomach.
The pad of Michael’s thumb pressed against your clit again, and as electric pleasure rippled up your spine, it took everything inside you not to cum right then and there. Your pussy was clenching tight around him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let go—you didn’t want to be apart from him. Not yet.  
For a second, you could see every contoured feature of Michael’s face illuminated in the pale light of the moon, the exaggerated shadows and highlights coming together to form an image that was almost otherworldly. His eyes were droopy-lidded, so much so that you might’ve thought his eyes were shut if it weren’t for the glint of his pupils; he’d sucked his full lower lip into his mouth, nibbling on the rosy pink flesh as he admired your curved, supple figure on top of him.
I love him, you thought, matter-of-fact, as he pulled his spit-soaked fingers from your mouth and dragged them down between your tits, leaving a shiny trail of saliva in their wake.
I love him, you thought, bowing your body forward to kiss him hungrily, moaning into his mouth as you hurried your pace on his cock.
I love him.
Why the fuck did you have to love him? It wasn’t fair. Your insides churned with jealousy at the thought of all the other teenage girls who were currently experiencing their first love; you thought of the constant Instagram posts of girls in new, happy relationships, the public displays of affection against lockers between classes. Those things, so seemingly insignificant, would never become a part of your reality (or at least not any reality involving Michael).
In another life you’d have Michael over for dinner to meet your father, holding his hand under the table when you’d notice his thigh jiggling anxiously. You’d kiss him freely without the underlying fear, swirling deep in the pit of your belly, that someone might catch you. You’d be his prom date, match your gown to his bow tie and take awkward pictures with him, his strong arms holding you from behind.
In another life, things would be normal. In another life, you and Michael would be happy together.
“(Y/n),” groaned Michael; the sound of his raspy voice calling your name was enough to send you over the edge, bracing your tense body with one hand next to his head as you rode out your orgasm.
You were able to move even faster now, both of his hands holding your ass as you leaned far enough forward that you could bury your head in his neck. The feeling of his cock pulsing inside of you was almost too much now that you’d orgasmed, but you didn’t stop, eager to witness Michael drift into his own realm of bliss.
“Fuck—“ was all that could leave Michael’s lips before he came, using your ass to hold you in place as he spilled his warm load inside of you. You  didn’t move, keeping your face by his neck so you could listen to him catch his breath.
When you finally picked yourself up, Michael looked down to his shoulder and furrowed his eyebrows. “Were you just crying?”
Fuck. Yes, yes you were. Tears had apparently leaked from the corners of your eyes without you realizing, wetting his neck and the cotton fabric of his t-shirt. You said nothing, pulling off him to retrieve the clothing articles that you’d discarded in the sand earlier.
“Just a little,” you said, embarrassed, shaking the sand off your bralette and putting it on. “Red wine makes me angsty.”
“Oh.” There was a pregnant pause as Michael cleared his throat. “C’mon, (y/n), it’s not so bad.”
There was wavering uncertainty veiled beneath the confidence of his words, and you could tell he was trying to convince himself of this sentiment just as much as he was trying to convince you. Your back was to him as you slipped your shirt over your head, willing yourself not to start crying again.
“(Y/n)?”
His hand was on your back, the tips of his fingers circling lightly over the fabric of your shirt. You turned to face him, slowly. “Yes?”
“I…” He halted for a moment, contemplating something. “I really, really like you. More than I’ve ever liked anyone before.”
“I really, really like you too.” Somewhere, a chorus of crickets were unknowingly performing a custom symphony for your own teen romance movie moment. Michael took your hand in his, lacing his long fingers through yours, and you swallowed.
He looked down at your joined hands, an almost solemn look on his face. “Just. I don’t want you to forget, all right? No matter what happens.”
No matter what happens. You didn’t want to think of what he could mean by that.
“Don’t worry,” you whispered, as if to shield your words from the ocean’s prying ears. “I won’t forget.”
And that, you knew, was an irrefutable fact.
iv.
Late August hit you like a truck, coming by so unexpectedly that you thought surely you’d been caught in some kind of time slip. Your college move-in date was a week before Michael’s, and so Michael had spent the days leading up to your departure helping you pack (he’d also, of course, made plenty of time for “breaks” throughout the process, one of which consisted of you being fucked on the floor amidst the vast array of brown moving boxes).
Your bedroom was now a shell of what it’d once been- the comfortable teenage clutter you’d been so accustomed to was now gone, and you’d finally gotten around to throwing out the pictures and stickers you’d had on your wall since freshman year. It was depressing, hollow.
On the morning of your move-in date, your father helped you bring your belongings to the car and load the trunk. The car ride was going to be fairly long, and you were dreading it, especially since Michael wasn’t coming along. He had his own matters to attend to, what with his own move-in date creeping near, and the car would be far too crowded with all your things there anyway.
You were scheduled to leave at 9, and downstairs you could hear your father and Miriam shuffling around as they prepared for the trip. You sat at the edge of your bed, surrounded by the pale purple sheets you’d had for as long as you could remember, idly scraping the toe of your sneaker back and forth along the wooden floor.
You weren’t ready to say goodbye to all of this, but when had you ever been ready for anything life had thrown your way? You hadn’t been ready to fall in love with your stepbrother, and yet that had happened all the same.
From across the hall, Michael’s bedroom door cracked open, and out he came in his flannel sleep pants and plain white t-shirt (which now perfectly complemented the slight summertime hue of bronze to his skin), blond hair in beautiful disarray. Your heart ached- you were going to miss seeing him in the morning, all sleepy and soft, voice pitched lower than usual from sleep.
You recalled all the times you’d passed him as he stood at the counter in the bathroom, brushing his teeth; he’d look at you with a lazy half-smile, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, his elbows resting on the edge of the sink. He always looked so handsome even when he wasn’t trying, a quality you almost envied him for.
He noticed you watching him from the corner of your bed as he approached the doorway, waving at you as he balanced his shoulder against the frame.
“‘Morning,” he said, his bleary-eyed gaze meeting yours. He looked tired, dark rings prevalent beneath his crystal blue eyes, and you briefly wondered if he’d gotten much sleep the night before. “You should be grateful that I got up at the ass crack of dawn to say goodbye to you.”
“The ass crack of dawn? Michael, it’s 8:45,” you said, and if you really tried, you could almost pretend that this was a regular conversation between the two of you, and not the very last time you’d be interacting face-to-face until November.
“Yeah, well, 8:45 is the ass crack of dawn to me,” he said, and you stood up, meeting him halfway in the middle of your barren room. He flashed you a grin, but there wasn’t much happiness behind it, and you could see that he was… uncomfortable? Sad? Angry?— you couldn’t quite tell— from the way he’d folded his arms in front of his stomach. “So yeah. I, uh, wanted to say goodbye. And also remind you not to fuck too many frat guys. You could, like, catch something.”
“I’ll try not to, but I can’t promise anything,” you joked, following the sentence with a forced-sounding chuckle. “Bye, Michael.”
You stepped forward, winding your arms around Michael’s waist and placing your head against his chest; you could just barely hear his heart beating, the warmth of his skin touching your cheek even through the fabric of his t-shirt.
“I’m gonna miss you,” he murmured, his chin resting on the top of your head, strong arms holding you to him in an unyielding embrace. “So much.”
There were too many things you wanted to say, racing through your mind so quickly that it’d be impossible to articulate them aloud. Instead, you let out a shaky sigh, eyes falling shut as you tried your hardest to immerse yourself completely in Michael’s touch. Sometimes, there didn’t need to be any words for you to understand each other.
“Don’t be sad about this, (y/n). When you’re at college, you’re gonna meet so many guys who are so much better than I am. And you’re gonna wonder why you ever were hung up on a dumbass like me.” His tone was lighthearted, but you knew better than to really believe that he was unbothered. “But I don’t think I’ll ever find someone better than you. I’m so fucking lucky that you gave me as many chances as you did. I didn’t deserve them.”
“You’re wrong,” you said, pulling away so you could look pointedly into Michael’s eyes. God, his eyes were beautiful, and you drank in the moment, knowing this was your last chance to really look into them face-to-face. “I gave you those chances because even though you acted like a total fucking asshole, I still knew there was good in you. I could just… feel it.”
He cocked an eyebrow skepticall y. “No, you gave me all those second chances because I give good head and have a big dick.”
You rolled your eyes. “Okay, maybe those were contributing factors, but they weren’t the only reasons I stuck around.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he said, licking his lips and settling his hands on your hips. “For the record, your pussy really is my favorite. Like, I wasn’t just saying that.”
“I’m honored.”
The interaction was cut short by the sound of your father calling you from downstairs, indicating that it was time to leave, and your heart sank deep into your stomach. Standing up on the tips of your toes, you planted a chaste kiss on his lips before hurrying out into the hall, waving over your shoulder as you went.
“Bye, (y/n),” Michael said, not moving from where he stood in your bedroom. He’d dug his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants, shoulders slumped forward as he watched you go. For a moment, you wished you’d hugged him for longer. “See you in November.”
“See you,” you called back, imitating nonchalance to the best of your ability, only averting your gaze when you felt tears wobbling along your waterline, threatening to overflow and spill down your cheeks.
In that last moment before you turned, you could almost swear that he had tears in his eyes, too.
v.
When you finally made your way up those familiar porch steps again, the November air chilling you slightly even despite the thick sweater you wore, you felt like an entirely different person.
Those first few months of college had been a blur; your life was far more interesting than it’d ever been while you were in high school (if you didn’t count the whole ‘fucking your stepbrother’ thing), with a surplus of boys at your disposal at all times. You’d gotten perhaps a bit carried away with the dating and partying and hookups, but you figured you were simply making up for all the experiences you’d missed out on in high school.
Michael was a thought that you trained yourself to keep tucked away. During those first few weeks, you’d spent several nights crying yourself to sleep, the stiff dorm room bed so uninviting compared to the way Michael’s arms had always felt around you. At parties, you’d scan the crowds for boys with blond hair and blue eyes, hoping that one of them could temporarily stand in for Michael during your time away from him. None of them fulfilled the requirements, of course- you’d come to realize early on that nobody was quite as good as Michael Langdon. It took a while for you to stop searching for Michael in every boy you became acquainted with, but with practice, you became rather skilled in the art of forgetting.
You and Michael kept in contact, albeit only sometimes. His messages to you were comprised mainly of memes he’d found on Instagram that he thought you’d appreciate, along with the occasional drunk text late at night (‘Cna you send me a pci of your tits/??? Lmfao’ was one of your favorite messages from him that you’d received thus far). It made you feel special to know that he was thinking of you, even despite being surrounded by girls like you assumed he probably was.
You tried not to think of him too much, though- you knew you’d drive yourself crazy if you did.
When Thanksgiving time rolled around, you were confronted with the fact that you’d be seeing Michael again for the first time in months, a prospect that ignited your nerves far more than you were willing to admit. As excited as you were to see him, you also couldn’t help but worry: what if he announced that he’d found a girlfriend? What if he wasn’t attracted to you anymore? What if you weren’t attracted to him anymore?
It probably would be easier for the both of you if things played out that way, but you didn’t want things to be easy. It was unrealistic, but part of you was praying that things would be exactly as they were before you’d gone away.
Your hand trembled a bit as you raised it to the doorbell, and you braced yourself before jamming your finger into the button. From inside the house, you heard the muffled, off-key tone as it resounded throughout the upstairs area, followed by bounding footsteps down the stairs that you pinpointed as belonging to your father.
The front swung open and there was your father, a wide smile stretched across his face as he ushered you inside, taking it upon himself to bring in your travel bag for you. “(Y/n)! Finally! How was the train ride?”
“Not bad,” you said as he pulled you into a hug. As soon as you were apart, you started up the stairs, your pulse quickening as you came closer and closer to the moment you’d been anticipating for months. “Did Michael get back already?”
“Yeah, about an hour ago.”
Your heart skipped at this revelation; your legs couldn’t bring you to the top of the stairs fast enough, and, sensing your heightened enthusiasm, your father chuckled from behind you. “Hey, hold on a second. I haven’t seen you in months.”
“I’ll be right back, I promise,” you said breathlessly, the rubber soles of your sneakers making noisy contact with the wooden upstairs floor. You supposed that maybe you should’ve spent more time greeting your father, but you could no longer contain yourself- you needed to see Michael.
Leaving your bag at the top of the stairs, you hurried to the hallway where your bedrooms were located, unable to stifle your eagerness. You felt like a starved animal, finally being presented with food by a pair of benevolent hands, and you were ready to devour.
You didn’t bother knocking on Michael’s door when you approached it, bursting in with such force that you stumbled over your feet. The room was dim, what with the blinds being open so only a few rays of late-afternoon sunlight could peek through; seated in front of his once-cluttered empty desk, now occupied only by a laptop, was Michael, massive headphones positioned over his ears as he fixated on whatever stupid game he was currently playing (does he still play fortnite? you wondered).
The sound of your intrusion was loud enough to catch his attention, and as his head turned from his computer screen to your face, something shifted in his eyes. Immediately, he tore off his headphones, jumping to his feet so abruptly that they clattered to the ground. “Holy fuck, (y/n).”
It was evident, from the way you fell easily into his arms, that the attraction hadn’t faded. If anything, the distance apart seemed to have only made the magnetic connection between you grow even stronger.
Your lips clashed together feverishly (you had no idea who had been the one to initiate this— it seemed that you’d both moved in perfect unison into one another), hands wandering freely over each other’s bodies and teeth bumping against teeth. When you broke away, a string of saliva stretching and breaking between your faces, Michael beamed down at you.
The slight layer of baby fat that had once rounded out Michael’s cheeks appeared to have dissipated, his cheekbones even more pronounced than you remembered them being. His sharp jaw was shadowed with the smallest touch of brown stubble, (which you assumed was there because he’d been too lazy to shave), but you thought the more mature look suited him well.
“Jesus, (y/n), I missed you.” His voice was like smooth velvet; you’d inject it into your bloodstream if you could. “You’re even more fucking beautiful than I remembered.”
“Oh, good. I was worried you’d be grossed out by my freshman fifteen,”  you laughed.
“Fuck no. The fatter the ass, the better,” he said with a devious smirk, running his long fingers through his overgrown mop of blond hair. He smelled just like you remembered, a mixture of cinnamon gum and cigarettes and cologne (and the faintest hint of marijuana, of course), and you wished you could bottle up his scent and take it with you.
“So you’re still a fuckboy, I see,” you teased, twisting the front of Michael’s t-shirt in your hands and pulling him towards you. “Some things just never change, I guess.”
“Guess not.” He was speaking lowly now, assuming the smooth tone he always used when he was attempting to seduce you, and as if on cue came a dull, throbbing ache between your legs. “I wonder if your pussy is as good as I remember?”
His fingers found their way to the bottom of your sweater, fumbling with the chunky fabric and swiftly maneuvering it off over your head. You mirrored his actions, pulling off his shirt and exposing his torso, pressing your lips back against his with urgency once his upper half had been disrobed.
“Fuck…” you breathed against his parted mouth, palming the growing erection in the front of his pale gray sweatpants (your favorite pair of pants that he owned). “Need you to fuck me, Mikey…”
“Is that right?” He tilted his head to one side, kissing you deeply as he bent his knees, using his own weight as leverage to lift you up. You intertwined your ankles behind Michael’s back, securing your place in his toned arms as he carried you over to his bed; the vulgar, wet sound of your tongues melding together filled the room as he laid you down on his checkered comforter, your legs still wrapped snugly around him. “Did my baby sis miss having her pussy split on her big bro’s cock?”
“Mhm,” you purred; there truly was no man in existence better at dirty talking than Michael. You tensed in excitement when he began fumbling with the top button of your jeans, proceeding to deftly work the form-fitting denim material down your thighs once he’d freed it from its hold. “Can’t wait to feel you inside me.”
Impatiently, you reached between your bodies, your fingers coming upon the thick outline of his bulge as he peppered your throat with sloppy kisses. You moved your hand up to the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging the elastic as far back as you could; this resulted in him chuckling against your flesh, your body erupting in goosebumps at the sensation.
“So needy,” he mumbled, the vibrations of his plump lips traveling straight down to your cunt. “Did you touch yourself when you were away at school, thinking of me? Thinking of how good I touch you, how hard I make you cum?”
“M-Michael,” you whimpered, rolling your hips in melodic time with his, his clothed cock making friction against your thinly veiled pussy. “C’mon, just fuck me already. Please.”
“I like it when you beg,” he said, smug, standing so he could pull down his sweatpants and boxers, putting his long, weighted cock on display for you. You lifted your knees up for him, and in one swift motion he stripped you of your flimsy black thong. “Beg me again.”
You squirmed, sliding your flat palm down your stomach so you could touch yourself between your parted thighs; slowly, you coated your fingers with your own sticky essence, looking up at Michael from under a canopy of thick lashes. “Fuck me, Michael. I need you.”
“Ask nicely,” he chided, hoisting your thigh up to drape around his waist, eyes darkening as he observed your fingers spreading your slick wetness around your folds.
“Pleeaaaaseeee, Mikey,” you pleaded, syllables so drawn out that it almost sounded like you were singing. “It’s been so long.”
“Fuck.” He brought his lower lip into his mouth, sucking for a moment as he lined the flushed head of his cock up with your dripping entrance. When he released it, it was several shades darker than it’d been before, completely swollen and glossy with spit. “I’ve been thinking about this since the last time I saw you.”
Taking a firm grip of your thighs, he slid effortlessly into your tight heat, your jaw unhinging at the intrusion; you’d definitely be feeling him for the next few days, his thick shaft stretching out your narrow walls to the point where it was almost painful. You liked it, though, liked the delicious burn that only he could create, reminding you of who you belonged to.
“Shit,” he hissed, pausing momentarily to compose himself before assuming a deep, hard rhythm to fuck you with. “You’re so fucking tight. Must not’ve fucked anyone as big as me while you were away.”
All you could manage was a broken moan, your head lolling back towards the ceiling. He bottomed out inside you, bringing himself down to press his chest against yours, indulging in the feel of your warm, wet cunt as it spasmed around his massive length. When you started whining for more, he retracted his hips back until only the head of his cock was inside you, slamming back inside so hard that you were sent halfway up the bed.
“Oh god, Michael…” Your fingernails scraped aimlessly along the warm skin of his back, eyelids flickering open and shut in a fucked-out daze. You’d slept with a handful of guys at college, but none of them even came close to fucking you the way Michael did. He was just… special.
Fuck, I love him.
The thought startled you; you’d almost been able to forget about the little epiphany you’d had, that night in Florida when you and Michael sat side-by-side by the ocean. But now that you were with him— under him, taking every last agonizing inch of his cock, it became obvious that those feelings had remained stagnant.
After all the boys you’d been through at college, you still loved him.
God, were you fucked.
“Missed my baby girl so much,” Michael murmured, tucking your hair behind your ear and peering down at you. His forehead was glowing, the sides of his face framed with cute, damp curls of blond hair; he was so beautiful, you thought. How had you survived so long without him?
He impaled you again with a sharp upwards thrust, a string of expletives passing your lips and mixing with the lewd sounds of sex swimming through the air.  “I missed you— fuck!— too.”
“Yeah, I could tell,” he said, tucking his head into the crook of your neck and running his tongue along the salty skin. “Your pussy is fucking dripping for me.”
“Keep going,” you panted, wetting your chapped lips; with each brutal thrust of Michael’s cock, you bucked your hips forward to meet him halfway, desperate for all that he had to offer. “Feels so fucking good.”
“Yeah? You like that? Like how I split you open?” His hips pounded against yours with a bruising intensity, his chest pinning you down as you writhed beneath his lean frame. His voice was becoming hoarse, breaths short and choppy, letting you know that he was close.
“Yes, yes, yes, please, more…” Your affirmations were like a prayer, encouraging Michael to fuck you even deeper, his torso making electric contact with your clit as he moved his body in time with yours. “Make me cum, Mikey, please..”
The wind was knocked from your lungs each time he pumped his length into you, and by the time the coil in your stomach was unwinding, you were struggling to catch your breath. You ran your hands through Michael’s sweat-soaked hair, letting the strands stretch around your fingers as you tugged at the root; Your toes curled when Michael administered a particularly hard thrust inside you, your lips falling open in a silent scream; there was a burst of brilliant colors behind your eyelids as you finally reached your climax, your thighs shaking as they clasped firmly around Michael’s waist.
Like a perfect teen-movie cliché, Michael came just as you did; the feeling of his hot load as it spilled deep inside your cunt was a welcomed one, and your spongey inner walls instinctively clamped down, milking his cock for all it was worth.
With a throaty grunt, Michael pulled out of you, his cum dribbling crudely down your inner thigh and onto his bedspread, which he didn’t appear to pay any attention to. Lying down beside you, he sighed, bare chest shining with slick perspiration.
“I missed doing that,” Michael rasped, eyes focused up towards the ceiling rather than on you.
“So did I,” you said, tracing idle patterns along the expanse of Michael’s torso, watching his stomach rise and fall with each breath he took. “I can’t wait to have you all Christmas break.”
Michael’s lips turned downwards at the corners, his eyebrows knitting together in a pained display. “Oh. Yeah.”
It seemed as though he’d wanted to say more, but he pressed his lips shut into a thin line, Adam’s apple bobbing. What the hell? All at once you felt nauseous- there was something about the way he’d said those two words that made you very, very uneasy.
You sat up, your mind already starting to overflow with horrid possibilities. “What, Michael?”
“I, um. I have to tell you something.” Michael’s eyes darted throughout the room before settling on his palms. You frowned, mouth going dry at his apparent reluctance to talk to you, thoughts racing in all directions to try and pinpoint what exactly he might say.
“Michael…”
“So. Um.” He was stalling, extending his arms up so his palms were flat on his forehead, still refusing to look at you as he contemplated his words. “So you remember over the summer when I spilled Red Bull on my laptop?”
You raised an eyebrow. Where exactly was he going with this? “Yeah?”
“And remember how I would borrow my mom’s laptop to play video games while I was waiting for it to get repaired?”
“Yes, I remember. Can you just get to the point?” You were growing impatient, the anxiety increasing with each additional second that Michael continued to leave you in the dark.
“Okay, well…” He inhaled sharply. “I was borrowing her laptop one night and ended up looking at the search history because, well… you can probably guess why. Anyway. I ended up seeing all these searches for, like, new apartments and divorce lawyers.”
Oh shit. Divorce lawyers? Was he about to say what you were thinking he was about to say? “You mean…?”
Michael held up a hand as if to say let me finish, and you held your tongue. “So like, I asked her about it. And she told me that her and your dad are, like, splitting up or whatever. But she told me not to mention anything about it in case they ended up working shit out.”
You didn’t understand— wasn’t this good news? If your parents divorced, wouldn’t you finally be able to be with Michael the way you wanted? You forced down the giddiness that started to bubble up from your stomach and into your throat, knowing that there had to be a catch if Michael was acting so serious.
“So our parents are getting a divorce?”
“Well… there’s more.” He licked his lips, finally gathering the courage to look at you, the expression on his face so grim that it scared you a little. “She found an apartment in California. And she’s moving us there next month.”
California!?
No, this couldn’t be happening. How could this be happening? This was perhaps even worse than the predicament you were already in. If Michael moved to California, it was pretty fucking likely that you’d never see him again.
“I… what? And you’ve known all this for how long!?” Your voice was pitched several octaves higher now, eyes watering uncontrollably, and you felt as though you were on the brink of having a total fucking meltdown.
“I always thought there was a chance they’d get things worked out, or that my mom would change her mind about moving so far away. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I already knew you were sad about us going away to college, so I just thought-”
“-Answer the question, Michael! How long have you known this for?” Hot, angry tears were falling down your face and onto your bare chest, your entire body shaking with an overwhelming mixture of rage and despair.
He sighed. “Since August.”
Your mouth fell open in disbelief. How could he have hidden this from you for so long? “And you never thought to tell me? So I could at least come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably never see you again once you move?”
“I didn’t wanna ruin the rest of our time together,” he said softly, eyes glossy with tears that were still yet to fall. “I fucked up, okay? I should’ve told you as soon as I found out. But I kept thinking that maybe something would change, and…I don’t know. I’m sorry, (y/n).”
“Fuck,” you mumbled. Your limbs felt numb and heavy, your heart hollow. “Why did your mom have to choose fucking California, of all places?”
“I dunno. I think it has to do with this weird religion thing she’s into,” he said. “Look, (y/n), if I had any choice, I’d stay here. But you know I can’t afford my own place right now.”
“I know. It’s just-“ you collapsed backwards, your back making contact with the bed below with a soft thud. “This is so fucking unfair. We’re finally able to be together- like, really be together. But of course there has to be a catch.”
“Remember what I said, (y/n)? How if things are meant to be, they will be?” It sounded to you like Michael was attempting to make sense of a senseless situation, but you let him speak, somewhat comforted by his words. “I only have to stay in California until I can afford my own place. And I’ll still be going to the same college, so we won’t be too far from each other during the school year.”
Your college was a five hour drive away from Michael’s. Would he really be willing to make such a long trip up to see you? Would you be willing to take a trip to see him, with the new knowledge looming on your conscience that he would no longer be an arm’s length away once the school year was up? You wanted to be optimistic, but how could you be? A fresh wave of tears escaped your eyes, blurring your vision, but your cries faded to soft whimpers when Michael pulled you up against his chest.
You tried not to remind yourself of the fact that this would likely be one of the last times you’d be able to feel him there against you, one of the last times you’d absorb the heat from his skin, his distinct scent overtaking you like a natural aphrodisiac, intoxicating you.
You tried to reason with reality: if the universe had tried so hard to keep you apart all this time, maybe you and Michael being together had simply not been written in the stars (or at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself— how could a connection so strong not be meant to be?, you asked yourself dejectedly). The way you felt for Michael was special, unlike anything else you’d ever experienced before. He was a natural high, a gust of fresh springtime air, a golden ray of good in a gray-black world of bad.
But, as the saying went, all good things must come to an end. Don’t they?
Perhaps you’d always known, in the very back of your mind, that things would never work out. Perhaps you’d always known that your heart would wind up broken (no, not broken— incinerated). The cards had never been in your favor, and there had been a hundred million warning signs that you’d blatantly ignored time and time again.
But it hurt.
And you doubted it would ever stop hurting. The pain of losing Michael might one day fade from a stabbing agony to a dull ache, but that initial wound would likely never heal completely.
The only thing left to do now was stay entangled in Michael’s warmth for as long as possible, and make weary peace with the tragic ending your time with Michael had come to.
“If we survived being stepsiblings, we can survive this,” Michael said, his lips against your knotted hair, firm arms holding your naked body with a delicate tenderness that you weren’t used to. “You know that when I want something, I make sure that I get it. And what I want, (y/n), is you.”
You nodded, curling into Michael, your bodies fitting together like two perfectly-cut puzzle pieces.
“And I’m gonna have you.” You felt his hand smooth your hair out, and then he placed a kiss on your forehead, as if to imprint his words into your brain. “One day.”
Your eyes fluttered open, and all at once you were lost in a rushing sea of crystal blue, like the one that had lapped against the shore that night you’d fallen in love. As you reached up to caress Michael’s porcelain cheek, thumb grazing the rough stubble that had gathered along his jaw, you couldn’t help but believe him.
One day.
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