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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 4 years

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A Never-Ending Feast

Yes, it is me again. Really we all should have expected this, but when Jester pulled out Heroes' Feast in episode 105, my friend alixcat basically said, yeah, you are writing a fic about Jester using Heroes' Feast right? And I was like....yeah, you right. I'm back on my Labor of Love bullshit 24/7. This one's for you!

Jester often shows love through acts of service, OR 5 times that Jester summoned a feast for others and the 1 time she made a feast for herself.

Bon appetit!

Read on AO3

Preview:

The trudge to the inn was a terrible one. It was one of those summer days that clung to your skin and sowed misery with the humidity. It was almost a relief for it to start raining, but as soon as it did the wind howled and shook the trees with intensity, and the sky cracked open with lightning and thunder. Yasha looked unbothered by the storm, but Beau grumbled and trudged her way through the front door of the inn looking like she had been personally insulted. It didn’t help that when they ordered food, all they received was burnt chicken and wilted vegetables coated in oil.

“I can’t believe we spent money on this shit,” Beauregard snapped, her temper hot and lashing like a whip. She cast a dirty look to the innkeeper, who plainly ignored it and continued on with their day.

“I know what will make us all feel better,” Jester said, fluttering her fingers with her excitement. “I have that new spell that makes the food! Everyone, let’s go upstairs to our room and I’ll make us a feast!”

“I’m down,” Fjord said, picking up a particularly sad looking green bean from his plate and watching it flop around in an extremely unappetizing manner, not that Jester ever believed that beans were good. They were one of those things that Mama swore were good for her, but if they were so good for her then maybe they ought to taste good too! Regardless of her feelings about green beans, the Mighty Nein all followed Jester up to their room, where she settled down on a blanket and pulled out her jewel encrusted goblet. For a moment she prayed, and then the Traveler’s energy pulsed through her.

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask.

I’m thinking...summer! The kind of things you would eat on a beautiful summer day, the kind of summer day that Beau would love, not whatever this shitty day is!

Magic overflowed from the goblet, and out from the ground plates patterned with flowers, and bowls of porcelain began to appear like they were sprouting flowers and tall grasses. Strawberry shortcakes with dollops of indulgent creams that were scented of vanilla and the zest of lemons, peach crumbles with layers of streusel flavored with the warming spices of ginger and cinnamon to give it just a punch of flavor. Scoops of coconut ice cream covered in toasted coconuts and topped with pineapple sauce and bright cherries. Bananas dipped in chocolate and covered in toasted nuts and strawberries, slices of banana cream pie and rhubarb pie.

Veth picked up a glass bowl containing a trifle half the size of her body, layers of cake soaked in rum, blueberry sauce, custard, berries, and jelly that was arranged like a large fruit display. Caleb began cutting slices of a pavlova, sweet toasted meringue garnished with kiwis, passionfruit, strawberries and cream. Yasha and Fjord were busy sharing a pineapple upside down cake and coconut ice cream, as Beau worked on her own plate that she stacked high with pies baked into jars.

“I’ve never had iced tea before,” Caduceus said, taking a long indulgent sip from a glass.“Would you like some?”

“Oh yes!” Jester said as she took the glass. It was iced tea as her Mama made it, the signature Nicodranas brew layered with black-citrus tea with sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk. Jester sighed as the flavors mingled on her tongue. She took a mouthful of streusel next, sighing as the tender peach melted her in mouth with the brown sugar and coconut and made the flavor of summer. She dipped forkfuls of banana cream pie in pineapple sauce, cut chocolate covered bananas to add to her slice of pavlova. She took indulgent sips of different drinks to refresh her palate and add more flavor, watermelon tea or frosted lemonade or fizzing fruity floats with scoops of ice cream that melted into foam that lapped at the edge of goblets the size of bowls.

By the time the hour was up and the feast vanished, Jester had truly eaten her fill. She sighed as she settled into bed that night. For a moment she swore she felt Beau’s eyes on her.

“Thanks Jester,” Beau said, voice rough with feeling. “That did hit the spot.”

“Of course,” Jester said with a smile that Beau couldn’t see. “Any time.”

______________________________________

They sat camped outside the dungeon, in the bubble as Caleb meticulously casted. The villagers there had complained about something coming up from the depths of the old abandoned mine. Jester wondered idly if it could be gnolls again, but based on what Fjord and Beau had discovered while snooping about it seemed to be something far more...trickey.

“We just don’t know what we are gonna be walking into,” Fjord said worriedly as he balanced the Star Razor across his knees. Yasha who had been minding the perimeter came back and settled down, looking a bit unnerved. Jester felt a quiet sense of concern for her. It really was awful how she kept getting mind-controlled all the time! Jester would need to talk to the Traveler about that some time to see if she could help.

“If we hit it hard enough, it’ll fall,” Veth said, cocking her crossbow confidently.

“It might not hurt to prepare ourselves though,” Caleb said as he sat himself down next to Veth. Caleb then caught Jester’s attention with an awkward wave. “Jester, would you be, perhaps, capable of creating that feast again? To...ah...bolster our efforts?”

“Yeah, yeah yeah yeah,” Jester said thinking about it. “I can do that today!”

“Can you include some meat?” Veth said, picking at her teeth. “Any at all?”

“I have to give Caduceus something to eat!” Jester said, reminding Veth as she pulled out her bowl.

“Aw, that’s nice,” Caduceus hummed as he fixed his sleeping bag.

Jester settled it on the ground, and as she had done before she called the Traveler’s power to her.

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask.

I’m thinking...warm and filling! Something crisp like an apple on a brisk fall day, and the flavors of a Harvest Close Festival.

And there on plates and bowls patterned with leaves in brilliant autumn colors was their feast. A whole roast duck glazed with orange sauce and served on a platter on a smear of plum applesauce with skin so crispy that it cracked when Caleb took his first bite. Bowls full of sunny pumpkin soup topped with crisped onion, that paired perfectly with loaves of bread that were stuffed with fennel-pork sausage that Beau downed so quickly that Jester was half sure it would be more effective to just raise the bowl to her lips. Rabbit in rosemary-wine sauce, served with sides of potatoes mixed together with a spicy savory mustard, and mushroom risotto with rice so tender it brought tears to the eyes.

And then of course dessert, which Jester was mostly concerned about and wouldn’t dare to stint on the servings. Apple pie with cinnamon-sugar dusted on crumbling crusts. Baked apples covered luxuriously thick caramel sauce and covered in peanuts, and elephant ears swirled in cinnamon and drizzled with frosting. There were slices of smooth and glossy pumpkin pie and crunchy and delicately sweet pecan pies topped with dollops of whipped cream, and sweet potato cheesecake with gingersnap streusel crumbled on top. Goblets were full of apple cider, or hot chocolate with toasted marshmallows and drizzled with salted caramel, and coffee made buttery and rich with swirls of cream and brown sugar and even pumpkin. Butterscotch cookies pressed into the edges of large glasses of milk were what caught Jester's eyes first and foremost.

"This is my favorite thing," Jester said as she dipped the warm cookie into the glass of milk that had a rim encrusted with chocolate dust and cinnamon sugar, sighing as the butter, crunchy edges of the cookie, and the sweetened warm milk melted together in perfect harmony. Veth pressed in close to her, finishing off her plate before grabbing a glass of milk and cookies.

"This reminds me of when I was a girl," Veth laughed, her eyes misty. "But my mother wasn't nearly as good of a cook as your magic is."

“Aw, thank you,” Jester chirped, trading her now empty glass for a new plate and taking bites from pecan pie and long sips from cream-pumpkin-coffee. She gave Veth a side hug that Veth gladly leaned in to.

"It really is lovely," Caleb said, with a soft reflective look of his own as he stopped up soup with a piece of bread. His dark fingers sweeping around in a well practiced movement before popping the last piece of bread in his mouth.

“Hey, save some for the rest of us,” Beauregard teased as she elbowed Caleb.

“There’s plenty to share,” Veth argued with no heat. “I’ll make you a plate.”

Jester said nothing, but cuddled more firmly against Veth's side as she enjoyed her cookies in milk, thinking of a time with her own mother and perhaps something like this.

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The ship rocked them back and forth as they gathered in the captain’s quarters. Jester had been full of energy ever since she learned that today was Fjord’s birthday. He had asked for nothing big or special, trying to argue that he couldn’t know his actual birthday and that he was getting too old for celebrations, but all of them had gotten him gifts regardless. Small little useful things, because Fjord would have surely refused anything more than that. Once the others had finish gifting things to Fjord, which he took with an increasingly tender and misty-eyed expression, Jester pulled out her jeweled goblet and set it upon the table. She casted the spell as she usually did, feeling her chest fill with the energy of her god.

What kind of feast are we having today? The Traveler asked curiously.

A celebration! Jester responded exuberantly. A fancy dinner party!

Upon the table that Fjord had set up, the plates and bowls and trays appeared, bubbling up from the spell like little boats buoyed on the water. A sweet and creamy lobster bisque, besides a tray of mussels steamed in white wine garlic and lemon juice, and nestled between buckwheat galettes made of salmon, capers, and dill. Mashed potatoes that were made smooth and rich with exorbitant amounts of butter found a place next to plates of mushrooms and gnocchi in a tomato cream sauce, and spicy butternut squash soup. Crispy crab cakes with a rainbow of dipping sauces in bowls shaped like shells and baked oysters dusted with spices and cheese. There was even a whole braised octopus in the center of the table, arranged among slices of lemon.

“I’ve never had anything like this,” Caleb admitted as he looked at the perfect slices of raw tuna in a loose approximation of a raw bar. “Is this supposed to be raw?”

“It tastes pretty good,” Veth said, scooping up her own serving of the ceviche of raw tuna marinated in lime juice and tossed with onions, tomatoes, avocados, and cilantro. She slurped down mussels at an alarming rate and did her best to encourage Caleb to cry the crispy calamari with the garlic aioli and the steamer swimming in butter.

"Look, our favorite!" Fjord said, sharing a knowing look with Beau and Yasha as he motioned to the plate full of fried fish and potatoes with tartar sauce. Beau and Yasha laughed as they loaded up their plates, pressing the flaky white fish into sandwiches made from the warm fresh white bread.

“What’s for dessert?” Caduceus asked curiously.

“Chocolate! You can’t really have a birthday without a chocolate cake,” Jester said excitedly as she moved to cut slices of a decadent chocolate cake, moist and sweet and filled with chocolate cream and raspberry sauce, settled besides saucers of chocolate mousse, and crisp cannolis filled with sweetened ricotta and chocolate chips. Chocolate covered strawberries were gathered in a luxurious array of white, milk, and dark and covered with nuts and candies. Stacks of salted caramel millionaire’s shortbread with crisp butter-cookie sandwiching layers of caramel and covered in chocolate, even bubbling pots of chocolate and caramel fondue with a wide array of fruits and snacks to dip into the heavenly smelling liquid.

“Thank you, Jester,” Fjord said with a wide smile that had lantern-light glinting off his tusk. “Thank you all of you. This has really been the best birthday I have ever had.”

“Don’t forget to blow out your candles!” Jester said, offering him a slice of his cake. Beauregard reached over to the goblet and pulled out a candle, passing it to Veth who planted it on his cake. Caleb reached out to punch the candle and it lit and began to glow.

Fjord blew out his candle, and closed his eyes to make a wish. As she took a bite of her own slice of cake and then dipping a forkful in the chocolate fondue, she wondered if any wish could top this simple pleasure as she pressed it against the top of her mouth so it could just melt away bit by bit and she could savor it. She would try to savor it all, for as long as she could.

____________________________

No one enjoyed trudging through a swamp, especially not Caduceus. Jester knew the Wildmother was a powerful god god, but it seemed to her that she could look out for Caduceus a little better. Jester found that the task often went to her, and of course she didn’t mind. Caduceus was steady as a rock, let Jester braid his hair, and listened intently whenever Jester rambled. The least Jester could do was yank Caduceus out of muck puddles whenever he fell in them, in return for being such a good friend. Jester could tell though that Caduceus was relieved when they stopped for the night, and Yasha who had fallen into a bush of prickers was just as excited to be bedding down. They would have a hard day ahead of them the next day, this Jester knew. So when Yasha quietly asked her if she could cast Heroes’ Feast to aid them, Jester already knew what was on the menu.

What sort of feast tickles your fancy, my dear Jester? The Traveler asked her.

Now seems as good a time as any to have an afternoon tea!

At night?

Of course, duh!

I do love the way you think. The Traveler chuckled as the goblet summoned for them their feast, spreading it about the dome.

Their afternoon tea was spread out on three tier and four tier porcelain stands decorated in flowering vines, kettles appeared and whistled merrily as they did as did beautiful tea sets in a variety of flowering colors and painted with rabbits and ducklings. Nestled among the kettles and tea cups were pots of toppings, from sunshine yellow lemon curd to vibrant marmalade and a treasure trove of jams to clotted cream and thick yellow custard. There was a stand of finger sandwiches all cut in diagonals, like cucumber and herbal butter, watercress and fluffy egg salad, prosciutto and goat cheese, and smoked salmon and cream cheese. One that Jester scooped up was a fluffernutter that made Jester smile. The next stand was a twisting array of scones filled with fruit or berries or nuts or spiced with cinnamon in turn, hearty spiced pumpkin muffins, blueberry muffins, lemon-poppy seed muffins, and danishes filled with jams or sweet cheeses and dusted with sugar or drizzled with vanilla frosting. And then of course, the cookies. Trays of cookies from madeleines with their shell-like filigree edges to smooth as button macarons to stacks of simple butter cookies and shortbread surrounded them like patches of wildflowers.

“Oh Jester, this is wonderful,” Caduceus sighed into his cup of tea. “Let me pour you a cup?”

Jester nodded enthusiastically as Caduceus poured her a cup of ruby-red tea. Jester took a sip and was immediately struck by the gorgeous strawberry almost malty note of it. Dipping in a shortbread cookie and eating it made her whimper with the sublime pleasure. The shortbread simply melted into her mouth like a dream, like it was meant to be together.

“It’s too bad we can’t stop for an afternoon tea every day,” Jester sighed as she excitedly cut open a scone to layer it with clotted cream and blueberry jam and lemon curd. Caleb watched her do this and mirrored it, though adding far less then she did of all three toppings except the lemon curd. Jester didn’t understand why he was being so stingy, but not everyone could truly appreciate sweets as she did.

“I can’t eat rich food too often,” Beauregard admitted as she cornered the market on tiny finger sandwiches. “It’s a nice once in a while thing, but otherwise it screws up my workout routine.”

“This is magic food though,” Veth pointed out. “Does it really count?”

“Tastes the same, and feels the same in my stomach,” Beauregard said with a shrug.

“What are these tiny orange things?” Yasha asked as she eyed a canape.

“That would be salmon roe,” Fjord explained and when seeing Yasha’s befuddled reaction further explained, “fish eggs.”

“Tasty,” Yasha said, offering no more explanation on that as she popped it in her mouth.

“All we need now is a fancy place to sleep,” Jester said excitedly as she poured another cup of tea and tried that one. This tea was bright and citrus and with a strong floral note, that perfectly matched the lemon-poppy seed muffin and was smoothed by the lemon-vanilla frosting on top. “You guys have got to try this tea! I’ll get everyone a cup!”

“It tastes like flowers,” Veth said, doing that thing where it sounded like she was complaining but she really wasn’t.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Caduceus asked, smile sweet on his face. Yasha smiled too, but didn’t say a word.

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In Jester’s nightmares, there was a different kind of feast.

The room itself was familiar, and Jester could almost feel like she shouldn’t be there but couldn’t remember why in the haze of the dream. There was a single window above the door, casting the glow of a red and violet twilight across the room that was cluttered with bottles and jars and strange books and drying herbs. The only other light was fat candles of yellow-beeswax, choked by glass and made dim, and the dying embers of a hearth. The table was set for two, and yet as Jester looked around she was the only one in the cramped little home. Even the ceiling cages swung empty and creaking amongst the wooden slots. Jester took a seat, and just as she did she saw her goblet sat in the center of the empty table.

Her goblet overflowed, and out of the spreading liquid came a menagerie of sweets. Jester set herself upon them all with a reckless abandon. A strange sludge in a crusty bowl ended up being blueberry soups with dollops of sweet cream, overturned cups ended up being creme brulee with glistening caramel crusted on the tops, casseroles full of bread pudding steaming with cinnamon and drizzled with butterscotch and topped with ice cream flecked with ice cream. There was a bouquet of flowers that filled the air with their sugary scent, that as Jester plucked a beautiful pink bloom melted into her mouth with the flavor of rosehip and fairy floss. Forks melted in between her fingers and she realized they were made of chocolate, and the placemats were now made of crunchy honeycomb. She bit into her glass only to realize it was made of shards of sugar flavored with mint and the liquid within like pressed and sweetened lemons and melons. She took more ravenous bites, filled her plate high and yet somehow treats continued to spring from that never-ending goblet-

The liquid from her goblet splashed and overflowed as it turned over under the weight and gushed out like a strange pulsing wound, dripping off the edges of the tables and onto Jester’s skirt and seeped in. She recoiled from the sensation, scurrying away as she swiped at it with her fingers. With her vision and the dim light she could see that the liquid was a oily black. The candles all flickered as if shuddered by a breeze, the smoke hazy and twisting as it tickled the low-hanging herbs that were drying from the ceiling. The liquid began to splatter onto the scratched and dusty floor, pitter-pattering at an ever-increasing rate.

“Now, now my dear,” a familiar croaking voice said as a large hand settled upon her shoulder, fingernails slicing past layers of her cloak. Jester could hear the cracking of dusty-joints and the lumbering crunch of her footsteps. “You have prepared such a feast for me.”

“I...uh…” Jester squeaked as she felt a too long finger mind her neck. She didn’t dare to move, afraid that such a movement would slit her own throat, but let Isharnai tip her chin up and back so Jester could see the witch hunched over her.

“Such a precious giving girl,” Isharnai cooed, and her strange face came into focus, dull green eyes searching Jester for some truth that Jester desperately didn’t want to admit. “So full of misery. What a treat you are.”

“I’m not,” Jester said, her heart pulsing quick and fast in her ears. Her fingers were slick with the black liquid now, it was up to her thighs now bunching and collecting her skirts and glueing them to her legs. But it was her fingers-suddenly she couldn’t move them, as if she had gone numb at the wrist. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe as suddenly the panic overtook her. Where were her friends? Where had everyone gone-?

“We are friends. Friends don’t lie to each other,” Isharnai said, voice cruel with softness. “Now come, don’t you want your last cupcake?”

-Jester looked up to the table again and saw wilted flowers and cracked bowls and something bleeding-it was a heart and it was still beating and the whole home contracted and pulsed like it was a thing alive and in the center of it all there was a single cupcake that glistened with gold and-

What a horrible dream! The Traveler’s voice swept across her mind like the wind on a winding path. For a moment she felt like she was falling and yet she didn’t fear as the wind carried the scent of autumn. No need for this, sleep now Jester and know I am with you.

And so the color of her dreams changed, and she slipped into something safe.

____________________________

The girl behind the counter was a teenager, fresh faced and with her hair in twin braids. She had a dusting of freckles across her thin nose and smiled happily when Jester walked through the door of the little bakery in the nowhere town that they had stopped in for the night. It was bright and early the next morning, and Jester had snuck out apart from her friends in hopes of finding something that answered her prayers. The Traveler truly was with her in this endeavour.

"What can I get you this morning?"

"What do you have?"

"Would you like savory or sweet?"

"Sweet, always sweet," Jester said seriously, because sweets were no laughing matter at all.

"We have muffins, blueberry, cinnamon swirl, and cornbread. We also have cinnamon rolls, and we do have cupcakes."

"What kind of cupcakes?" Jester asked excitedly.

"We have a honey-apple cupcake, gingerbread cupcake, and a carrot cake cupcake. The carrot cake is our topseller."

"Carrot cake," Jester grumbled, feeling her nose scrunch. She knew that it was a popular flavor, but she just couldn't wrap her mind around a vegetable in a cake. But she did know from Beau's grumbles that she enjoyed carrot cake even though, as Caleb had pointed out, it was rather nerdy and old-fashioned of her. Beau had given him a solid punch in the arm at the teasing and had disagreed in the way she did where she wasn't really disagreeing but more arguing for the sake of arguing. "Alright, I'll take a dozen, but like a mixed dozen. Four of each flavor?"

"Absolutely, that'll be four silver."

Jester slid the girl six silver and smiled.

"You keep the change," Jester told her and watched as the girl's eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. The girl quickly packed up the cupcakes and tied the box with a string before handing it off to Jester. She smiled and thanked her again before heading off. Jester walked for a little bit, finding the apple tree just outside of the inn that they were saying. Carefully she set her box on the ground as she pulled out her own handkerchief and settled it amongst the roots. She carefully opened the box of cupcakes, careful not to jostle any of them. She lifted one out from the box, the honey-apple cupcake Jester assumed based off of the drizzle of honey that covered the swirl of vanilla buttercream.

“I thought we might share this,” Jester said as she crossed her legs, feeling the morning dew and the sunshine dappling her face as the trees shifted with a breeze. She lifted the cupcake to her lips and took a bite. She sighed at the flavor of the sweet floral honey infusing the cake with its buttery undertones and mellow vanilla crumble, the sharp flavor of the apple-filling that was syrupy and made decadent with brown sugar and cinnamon and the tang of lemon, and of course the melting buttercream frosting that dissipated like a vanilla cloud. Jester felt a hand touch hers, and a shoulder bump against her own.

“Thank you, Jester,” the Traveler said whispered and when Jester blinked there was a second bite taken out of her cupcake.

Jester laughed, and went to take another bite.

#critical role #critical role fanfiction #jester lavorre #5+1 fic #food descriptions galore #read with a snack

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lucier1032-blog · 7 years

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Baby, I’m Howling For You - Chapter Eight

"It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge." - Friedrich Nietzsche

“Well look who we have here….”

A sarcastic tone woke Ryder from her mere minutes of sleep. The woman’s body was slowly deteriorating; moving even the slightest bit exerted too much energy and only made her muscles ache more. Her food portions were getting smaller and smaller with every passing day and she knew it was only a matter of time before days were skipped entirely. She tried to hold strong to the idea of her brother finding her, of being safely held in her boyfriend’s arms, but every passing minute took a bit of her hope out the door with it.

Ryder could already feel the first signs of Harry’s plan coming true. She practically watched her frame shrink with her very own eyes; her hip bones becoming more pronounced, her ribs screaming at the slightest twist of her back, wrists too fragile to fight. She could only imagine her physical appearance. Days on end without a proper shower, having to debate between sacrificing her limited water rations for personal hygiene; something she never would have imagined debating between. But of course, she never would have imagined Harry coming back into her life in such a dangerous and malicious way.

The brunette had lost track of time completely; every waking moment blending together like the hues in a water color picture left out in the rain. There was no way for her to track the days, her sunken green eyes no longer knowing the once familiar brightness of sunshine. She longed for fresh air; to walk out her front door into the cool London fog, breathing in the scent of fresh rain on the bushes. The girl craved the slightest touches of human contact, yet scrambled away in fear at the ones currently given.

Ryder was drowning in her own thoughts with no chance for air.

She clung to the happy memories as if she would never experience happiness again. What she would give to drink wine, read Romeo and Juliet for the eighth time and to see her best friends’ smile.

”Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.”

Ryder could still see the shake of the head and hear the laughs on the other side of the door as she would quote Shakespeare to Bex before hurrying home to her Irishman after another wine Wednesday. Ryder took for granted how common it was to have a conversation with Bexley, to have a best friend who would put up with her neediness and complaining when Niall would forget to take out the trash.

”It’s really not that complicated is it? All he must do is take the bag out of the bin and walk it to the curb when he leaves! Am I asking too much? It’s not like I’m telling him to cut off his dick or something!”

It was hard to imagine that she might not have another conversation with Bexley, or at least the same type of conversation. If Harry succeeded with this, no matter how hard she fought, Ryder knew there was a possibility of everything she once knew no longer existing. Sure, she would be able to see Bexley again, to watch her push her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she’s done her entire life, but it would never be the same. Bexley would always see her in a different light now; no longer the sweet, caring, and easygoing girl she was when they first met. Now Ryder would barely speak, flinching at the slightest touch of someone she once tackled to the floor in birthday celebrations. Every goodnight text or inside joke now polluted with pity. Their friendship would forever be tainted due to one decision her father made years ago.

She couldn’t bring herself to think about the aftermath that would ensue with her and Niall. It only brought tears she didn’t think she had left. There was no doubt in her mind that he loved her but could he continue to love her after such a tragedy? Did he have the strength to spend the rest of his days fighting for her to come back to him? Was it selfish of Ryder to force him to stay? He deserved all the happiness and love in the world and it killed her to think she wouldn’t be able to provide him with that.

She replayed their time together in her head like a filmstrip before the picture burned due to being over played. Each hour she would cling to a different situation, a different film strip of their time together, hanging on every word and filling in the gaps with overanalyzed thoughts. She would start with the last time she saw him and work backwards to the first time they met.

"No, cuddle." He mumbled, sleep threatening to overcome him at any moment.

"I have to go meet Bex, I'm already running late because of this little rendezvous." Ryder tried to squirm her way out of Niall's strong grip, pushing her palms flat against his chest for leverage. "Told her I would be there an hour ago." Niall let out a groan, his arm going slack and allowing his girl to slip out of his grasp.

"I'll always come second to her wont I?" Niall griped, eyes glued to his baby's figure as she wandered the bedroom gathering clothes.

How she wished she would have stayed instead of being in such a rush to leave. Maybe if she had stayed to answer Niall’s pleas of cuddles she wouldn’t be chained to this bed. Maybe the Howlers would have grown impatient and let her walk uninterrupted to Bexley’s later in the night. Every situation came with an equally devastating set of maybes.

She rewound the tape a few months.

” Do you have to spill ice cream on yourself every single time?” Ryder giggled at the soupy chocolate ice cream dripping down Niall’s chin and onto his white tee, no doubt leaving a stain if she didn’t get it in the wash soon. Her boyfriend just shrugged, the upturned spoon hanging from his lopsided smile, before passing her the carton. “You are the messiest eater I’ve ever met.” She happily accepted the carton of Neapolitan ice cream, the only kind they agreed to share. Niall would eat the chocolate while she ate the strawberry; both avoiding the vanilla because it was too boring for their liking.

The rested comfortably on the couch together; Ryder leaning into Niall’s side, their feet entangled on the coffee table while they flipped through channels, never agreeing on the same thing. The holidays were fast approaching and they had spent the day out shopping for gifts. Niall whined and complained the whole time, but still found the smallest ways to make his girl laugh; modeling woman’s hats or the latest nail polish colors, carrying her many bags but not without joking about being her personal pack mule, sneaking off while she was in the dressing room only to bring back kebabs from the Harrods food hall for them to share. Niall learned early on that the smallest things left the biggest impact on Ryder.

Rewind two years.

Ryder’s feet were on fire as she neared the end of her waitressing shift at the pub across from her new apartment. She only had a half an hour left when a group of rowdy, loud men tumbled through the front door. They had clearly already been drinking, obvious this was just another stop on their pub crawl. The exhausted brunette stood at the edge of the bar as she watched the five men of various heights claim a table towards the back…a table in her section. She groaned inwardly before walking over to them.

“What can I get you lads?” She put on her friendliest smile, leaning her palms against the edge of the table and letting her dark locks swing over her shoulder. She could take the order of 3/5 of the table before her gaze landed on a flushed blonde. His pink cheeks made his blue eyes more pronounced as he held her stare.

“Gimme a pint of Guinness?” His Irish accent heavier than normal due to just having flown back from his home country for a quick visit with the family.

“Sure thing.” She smiled sweetly, pushing off the table and making her way back towards the bar, completely unaware of Niall watching her every move. It only took enough time for Ryder to get 3/5 of the drinks ready before Niall was on his feet and walking towards her, a confident yet somewhat cocky grin on his face.

Repeatedly Ryder replayed the past two years of her life, refusing to go back any further because then she would be reliving the days that ultimately lead her here. She skipped over every argument with her father, every “just grow up” speech from Liam, every blind eye her mother turned. She survived her childhood because of the man that was now breaking her in two.

Ryder’s shattered eyes fluttered open, struggling against her smeared mascara and tears. It didn’t take long for her to realize her surroundings had not changed; she still laid on her side on the filthy mattress, refusing to move and risk cutting up her already raw ankle any more or reopening the cuts on her hip. The door remained shut and the room dark, leading Ryder to think she imagined the familiar yet new voice that pulled her from her sleep. The woman blinked a few times, remaining motionless, before she saw movement in the shadow of the room. The two dim lightbulbs providing very little for her to recognize the figure who now joined her.

“I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you.” The mysterious voice spoke again, dripping with disdain, and encircling the woman’s weakened body. Ryder had to squint to focus on the shadow of someone leaning against the far wall but it was hopeless in identifying them until they chose to move forward. “It’s been far too long Ryder.” The emphasis they put on her name made her internally flinch. She remained still, curled into herself and fighting off the urge to care.

“What do you want?” Ryder’s voice was raw and scratchy, a hand print still visible around her neck.

“Just thought I would come have a little chat, thought you could use a friendly face.” The light tone was finally given an identity as the sound of heels clicked across the floor.

“Really Quinn?” Ryder wanted to be surprise but didn’t have the energy anymore, which left the tiny blonde disappointed.

“Aww, I thought you would be happier to see me!” Quinn moved closer to the bed, close enough for Ryder to see her caked on makeup and perfectly straight, platinum locks. She wore a permanent pout that was all too recognizable.

“When is anyone ever happy to see you?” Ryder had long since stopped playing nice with Quinn and had no vigor left to filter her thoughts.

“Wow. Someone’s in a mood.” The girl popped her hip, playing with a strand of her hair. The picture would only be complete if she were loudly smacking her strawberry bubble gum.

“I should have known you would show up eventually. You’re like a lost little puppy, always were.”

“I’d be careful with what you say babe. Last time I checked you were the one chained to a bed and not me.”

“What exactly do you want Quinn?” Ryder readjusted herself, sitting up just a little bit more.

“Just came to see you were being treated accordingly. It sounded too good to be true, I had to see for myself!” Quinn was gaining too much enjoyment from the other girl’s pain, only confirming how sadistic Ryder always knew she was. “I cannot say I’m disappointed.” She laughed, “Harry’s doing far better than I imagined!” Ryder let out an exasperated sigh at the mention of Harry.

“Yeah, it’s going really well between us. Really patching things up.”

The pleasure rapidly drained from Quinn’s face, her pale green eyes filling with hatred. “Don’t play all innocent with me! You should have just killed Harry while you were at it!” She snarled, “You see how he is now…that is all your fault.”

“Way to kick me while I’m down Quinn.”

“You haven’t had to deal with him the past three years!” Quinn’s voice roared through the room, all her held in anger now seeping from her bones. “You haven’t had to watch him drink himself into oblivion! Every day he slipped further and further away from me.”

“So, were you the mastermind behind this genius plan? You want me to have to suffer just like him?”

“Don’t make me laugh.” She snaked her head to the side, cherry lips annunciating every syllable. “If I was in charge you would already be dead.” Ryder froze, not realizing she was getting the star treatment because Harry was in charge and not Quinn. Maybe she did have a little luck working in her favor still. “I’m going to let Harry get his revenge, keep you chained in her like the dog you are, but don’t for a second think I won’t get mine. You won’t walk out of here alive”

“Oi!” The door swung open to an out of breath Zayn, “What the hell are you doing in here?”

Quinn quickly snapped back to her dumb blonde façade; straightening her back and playing with her hair. “Just catching up with an old friend.”

“Well sorry to cut the conversation short.” Zayn jumped forward, grabbing Quinn by the bicep and pulling her out of the room. The blonde had just enough time to glare back at Ryder before the door slammed shut.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Zayn pushed Quinn forward down the hallway, finally letting go of her arm. “Louis is going to kill me!”

“Don’t get yourself all worked up.” Quinn rubbed her arm where Zayn held her. “I only wanted to talk to her.”

“Yeah and I’m the fucking Queen of England. I was told to keep you away from her for a reason.” He ran a hand threw his hair as he followed the girl out of the hallway and towards the bar in the basement living room. “What did you tell her?”

“Oh, just the usual; good to see you, glad you’re enjoying your accommodations, you’re to blame for everything, can’t wait till you’re dead; the normal for us.” Quinn took a seat at an empty stool next to Novo, a lurking Bug organizing the glasses behind the bar. Bug quickly grabbed a glass and filled it with a golden-brown liquid before passing it to the expecting Zayn.

“Jesus Quinn. Just wait till I tell your brother about this little chit chat.”

“No!” The usually in control blonde spun on her chair, palm slamming against the wooden bar top. Her entire small frame stiffened at Zayn’s threats, her eyes ridiculed with panic. “You can’t tell Harry about this! Please! He’ll ship me back off to boarding school and I CANNOT go back there!” Quinn’s sudden outburst took all three boys by surprise, none of them realizing how scared of her brother she really was.

“Alright, alright! Chill out!” Zayn put both hands up in defense, which was easier said than done with a glass of bourbon glued to his fingertips. “I won’t tell him! But you got to promise me you will never go back in that room or I will put you back on a train to Switzerland myself….and it won’t be first class!”

“Deal!” Quinn jumped at the chance to hide her secret agenda once again.

“What were you not going to tell me?” All eyes shifted towards the staircase as Harry came into view, taking each step as slow as the last even with his endless legs. His dirty curls were swept away from his face, leaving his worn eyes and scowl on display.

“Nothing mate.” Zayn quickly recovered, “Just having a drink with the boys. You want one?” He gave a nod to Bug who didn’t hesitate before making Harry’s usual.

“Since when do you hang around here?” Harry stopped at the edge of the bar, speaking to the lesser member of the Styles family.

“I-I…” Quinn racked her brain for a quick excuse.

“Came round looking for Waverly.” Once again, Zayn could cover. “You two are going out to End Zone tonight, right?”

“Yeah-Yes. Waves is running late so Zayn invited me down here for a pre-game drink.”

“Then why don’t you have a drink?” Harry eyed her empty hands curiously.

“Bug was just about to make her one, were testing out his bar tending skills.” Novo jumped into the conversation this time, “Haven’t been able to think of a drink he can’t make!” Harry’s eyes traveled between the four of them, deciding whether to believe their lies. The room was tensely silent for a few moments; the only noise being the tiny makeshift bartender dropping ice into a tumbler.

“Well then?” Harry narrowed his eyes at his younger sister.

“What?” Quinn moved her head to the side in confusion while the other three men looked on as if they’d been caught stealing the crowned jewels.

“What are you going to drink?”

#1dff #One Direction #Harry Styles #Niall Horan #Liam Payne #Louis Tomlinson #Zayn Malik #Fanfiction

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mylittletripsoftheorld · 7 years

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FIRST POST!!: All of January, Part 1

WOW!! What a month! I meant to make weekly posts about all of adventures, but life kind of got a head of me. So I’ll make this a 5(ish) part post! Where to begin?? Well, let’s start in Chicago where I caught my overseas flight. My awesome parents drove me to Chicago to catch my first (and definitely not last) solo international flight. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous. I was so stinking nervous!! I made it through check-in and security and then made my way to the gate and sat for a little over an hour. I finished up some things on social media and talking to friends and family since I wouldn’t be able to talk to them for the next 8-10 hours. Before I knew it, my flight was boarding. I double checked to make sure I had my tickets, passport, luggage receipts, and that all of my items in my carry on and sax case were secured. I got in line for board the plane, and then proceeded to my seat. I found a place for my sax in the overhead compartments and thankfully I had a window seat towards the back! I always love sitting by the window so I can look out and watch the sky and see the world beneath me. At first I was sitting next to a mom who was traveling with her children and HER mother. She then switched seats with someone my age so she could sit next to her children. This new person was Ambreen! We talked for a good hour or two! The flight ended up getting delayed for around a half hour due to different things so we just talked about who we were and where we were from and where we’re going and all that good stuff. After taking off and at a comfortable altitude, flight attendants brought around drinks and eventually dinner. We both watched some movies that were on once we figured out the television.... it may have taken us longer than was socially acceptable. I watched The Martian and it was soooo good!! When we were somewhere over Canada, I looked out the window and saw the Northern Lights! They were absolutely gorgeous!!! After reaching the ocean, and The Martian had finished, I figured it would be best to try and get some sleep so that I wouldn’t be terribly jet lagged once I reached Munich. Despite being woken by a little (understatement) turbulence somewhere in the northern Atlantic, I slept fairly comfortably. I woke up a little before dawn, and was fortunate enough to watch the sun rise as we were crossing over the English Channel into Belgium. There was so much snow!! And so many nuclear power plants! Once a majority of the flight was awake, the flight attendants brought around breakfast! Before we knew it, we were landing in Munich!! Ambreen and I both had a significant amount of time before our next flights, mine to Verona, hers to Oslo. Once we figured out where we each needed to go for our next flight, we found a cafe to have some food and I had my first authentic German beer!!! It was something, and that something is VERY strong. I didn’t finish it in fear of either getting sick or getting to turn for my flight. Eventually it was time for Ambreen and I to part ways since she had to catch her next flight. So I was on my own. In the wilderness of the Munich airport... so I found my gate and took a nap for about an hour because I was so tired. As the time approached for my plane to start boarding, things went a little differently than I originally thought. We checked our tickets and then boarded a bus!! It looked like a mtd bus. The bus drove us to the airplane, which was fairly small, out on the terminal. This was a new experience for me! The plane was mostly empty, but I ended up having an aisle seat next to an Italian man. I fell asleep right after the plane took off, I was so tired. I wasn’t even awake when the flight attendant came around with drinks... and COOKIES. Ack! After sleeping for a little over an hour, we landed in Verona!! Walking off of the plane, the first thing I noticed was the mountains!! BEAUTIFUL!! We again to an mtd like bus to the airport and I waited for my luggage. I felt absolutely ridiculous with my backpack on my back, my sax on my front, and pulling a large suitcase in each hand. I walked out of “customs”, which was putting my two suitcases on a conveyor belt to be scanned, and looked for my director! That’s when I realized that I had no idea who I was looking for. I stood around a little bit, and then decided to take my winter coat off because I was dying. Then this guy in a tan coat and a gray beard came up to me and said “Illinois??”. He saw my section jacket (Marching Illini represent!!) and saw the block I! This was Claudio! My director for the next four months! He helped my take my two very large and fairly heavy suitcases to his car. He drove a smartcar. With some sort of miracle we managed to fit my two suitcases, backpack, saxophone, and ourselves into his car. He drove to the apartment that I will be staying in and helped my bring my suitcases upstairs (I definitely needed it). I met one of my new roommates, Hailey, and then Melissa! I was sharing a room with Melissa. After Claudio left, we had a couple hours until dinner, so I unpacked my suitcases and backpack, got almost everything situated, and took a nap. Boy did I need a nap. Then it was off to dinner! Hailey, Melissa, and I walked to a restaurant called Casa Vino. Claudio new the owners and after the other people in our group arrived, along with Claudio and his wife, we began dinner! Eating dinner in Italy is much different than in the US. We spent more time talking and socializing than we did with eating dinner and drinking wine, but it was a wonderful time!! The other girls in our group from Illinois were Annie, Anna, and Yvette! They were all super nice and I’m looking forward to spending the next couple months with them. Once we had finished, which was well after midnight, we headed back to the apartment and went to bed. The next day we met at the school and Claudio led the way to La Contadina for lunch. We ate sooo much, there was an entire course of cheese, and then we pasta with pesto and apple pie for dessert. After lunch, Claudio took us on a tour of the city! We walked for probably an hour or two, and saw so much! Claudio told us about the arena, Juliet’s balcony, piazza erbe, we climbed the church bell tower (beautiful view), the library, one of the old roman gates and some of the ancient roman road, a statue of Dante, the oldest bridge, some old cathedrals where we saw some ancient mosaics, and we even stopped and got some mulled wine to warm up! After our tour, we stopped at Ins for some groceries and then headed home before dinner. For dinner we went to San Matteo which is a church that got remodeled into a restaurant! The food was amazing! I had pizza with pepperoni and black olives, had spritz for a beverage, and then had nutella tiramisu for dessert! One of the other girls had a shot of limoncello and I had a taste and it was something. The next morning we met Claudio at Castelvecchio to get on a bus! We rode the bus up the hill and got off at the top and Claudio led us to a restaurant called San Mattia, which had a gorgeous view of the city of Verona. Claudio helped us translate some items on the menu and both Hailey and I thought that the fettuccine with artichoke sounded delicious and ordered that... but alas. Instead of artichoke, it was OCTOPUS. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for trying new foods. But I usually like knowing what I’m getting ahead of time, rather than taking a bite into my pasta and being greeted by a strong, fishy taste and small octopuses in my noodles. Soooo both Hailey and I ordered pizza and then I had creme brule for dessert! After we had finished lunch, Claudio set us off on a scavenger hunt in Verona! Melissa, Yvette, and I were one team, and Hailey, Annie, and Anna were the other. It was so easy! We were basically re-tracing our steps from our tour the day before. Good job Claudio. We completed the scavenger hunt first and our team won a 30 euro gift certificate to a cafe by the school. Yvette went home, and Melissa and I went to Pam for some grocery shopping. We then went back to the cafe and the other team still hadn’t arrived. We waited for other team to arrive and then Melissa, Hailey, and I went home to get ready for the next day! The next day we went to our school for the first time! IDEA Verona. We had our orientation, where we were told the rules, how to access the internet, our classes were confirmed, and all that good stuff. Once we had gone through all of that, some ambassadors of a group called Erasmus came to talk to us. They basically told us that they held different activities for students that study abroad to interact with each other and get to know each other. Once we had finished all of our meetings and whatnot, we went with Claudio so a little cafe, called San Zeneto,by the school and had lunch and welcome drinks. I had spritz and a ham sandwich. After that, the 3 of us (Melissa, Hailey, and I) headed down to piazza erbe so Hailey could exchange her American money for some Euros. Then Melissa, Hailey, and I got chocolate covered strawberries and walked around a little bit before going home, getting fries for dinner on the way home. The very next day we started classes! Our first class was fresco painting. We got to the school at 9:20 and painting started at 9:30. Our instructor taught entirely in Italian, which honestly wasn’t too bad! It was fairly easy to understand what she was saying and how she was explaining. She talked to us about how fresco was made and how we were going to make our own! Which we then proceeded to do! We mixed together our fresco plaster and painted it onto a canvas and then left that to dry. We then chose our subject which we would be painting. I chose Caravaggio’s Medusa. Pretty gruesome and exciting. Then we took tracing paper and traced over a black and white copy of our subject. This took up the remainder of our class time. After class, the 6 of us looked for a place to have lunch! We ended up at a little place by one of the old city gates. I had the most beautiful white Russian I had ever seen and some penne pasta! We then all walked to see Juliet’s balcony and I got a picture with the statue grabbing her boob. It is said that it is good luck to grab/rub her boob, which you can tell by how shiny it is from so many people doing such. We also went to a kitchen store which was having a big sale so I could get wine glasses and be classy. The next day we went on a field trip for Italian Business, even though I am not taking that class. To be completely honest, it was hard to understand what this field trip was about, but it was still cool to experience! We went to a building that was by the arena and these two older gentlemen talked to us about what they did and the different events that they held that benefit the community and help them understand things that are American and such. After our meeting, we had some time before art history, so Claudio took us to the cafe where our gift certificate (from the scavenger hunt) was good for. I had a coffee beverage which had Nutella in it, YUM!! Then we went on our own way to find lunch! Since Melissa and I wanted something quick and fairly cheap, we went to a Subway that was close to Castelveccio and simply had that for lunch. For dessert we decided to head down to a shop that we had seen close to piazza erbe that sold macaroons! We got 6 flavors which included: bubblegum, tiramisu, lavender, banana & rose, chocolate & vanilla, and orange. The tiramisu was my favorite! Then we headed back to IDEA. The day before I had signed up for a cooking class so I went to the office to pay for it and I found out that we had to buy paintbrushes for painting. Woot! Then it was time for Art History! Our instructor Andrea (I might have misspelled it, RIP me), is fantastic! We spent our first class learning about the three main periods of art and how to identify the different Greek/Roman pagan gods in art! I’m super excited for this class since we’ll be taking all sorts of field trips and when I eventually go to Rome, I’ll be able to understand the art more! After class, Hailey, Melissa, and I made a quick stop at Pam for some more groceries then headed home. On Thursday we had our last class for the week, photography! We spent some time talking about ourselves and what would be happening over the next of weeks. We then dove into the history of the camera which was pretty interesting and extensive. We went through a slide show about different kinds of cameras and how they worked. After a break, we watched a video about Galimberti, who is a photographer that uses polaroid camers to create incredible picture collages! The movie was in Italian with English subtitles, and at some points it was hard to stay awake for some of it. After class, everyone came over so we could plan some of our big trips!! Since my refund for my loans hadn’t come in yet, I could only buy one of the tickets for our trips. I booked my ticket to Prague for a weekend in March!! I’ve never been to the Czech Republic, so I’m excited to be able to scratch that off of my map! That night I had my cooking class! It was a lot of fun and absolutely delicious! It was at this older Italian lady’s house, Anna, Annie, and myself attended. The lady had a student staying with her from Switzerland and he spoke French, so I was able to talk to him with the French that I remember from high school. We made pasta, cooked peppers, stuffed veal, more pasta, chicken, and it was all delicious! I ate so much that I thought I might explode! Once we had finished, Annie’s host mom drove us home. I went to bed in preparation for the next day: a day trip to Florence.

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#Italy #verona #study abroad

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