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slightlymore · 3 years

Text

hardest to love

part of the ‘soulmates collection’

surgeon!doyoung x surgeon!fem reader

others: haechan, jaemin, jeno

genre: medical au (but the medical part is not heavy), romance, angst, smut, fantasy elements, “enemies” to lovers, mutual pining

warnings: +18, esplicit sexual content: doyoung is a hard dom and a soft dom in different scenes, short instances of sub doyoung, finger sucking (I know, I have a hand kink), spanking, raw, ice play, fingering, dry humping, thigh riding, choking, use of "sir", orgasm control and denial, edging, overstimulation, light degradation, oral f, brat taming, safe word, wine play?; lots of teasing; swearing; discussion around death; doyoung is a jerk but gets better

words: 13k

note: you can read this as a stand alone without having read the other works in the soulmate collection. what you need to know: haechan, jeno and jaemin travel different universes with the purpose of getting doyoung and yn be together. mark is trying to do the opposite. sometimes doyoung can remember past lives and sometimes he can't. this life takes place in a hospital. if you're confused by the three boys’ story everything will be explained in their backstory fics coming soon.

__________

Haechan let out a single deep sigh.

“Damn it. Doyoung is a fucking jerk in this life.”

The three young men were standing in the corner of the room watching two students trembling mortified in front of a pissed off Doyoung before he could turn around on his heels.

“I thought he was a jerk in all lives,” Jeno commented while dusting off imaginary lice off his jacket.

"I’ll be honest. When you said 'hell' I didn't expect the ER."

“Well have you ever been to-” Haechan continued but stopped when noticing Jeno not listening to him anymore but observing their third friend instead.

“Hey, Jaemin?” Jeno put one hand on his shoulder.

Jaemin was weak and paler than usual, eyes wide and with a slightly trembling chin. He then followed the direction of the younger gaze and gasped himself.

“Yeah,” Haechan grated the back of his head. “I’m sorry. I told you this one is going to be hard.”

Jaemin gulped, looking at himself walking around the bed and checking on the patients.

That Jaemin looked exactly like him.

The only difference was the clothes. That doppelganger had a doctor gown instead of a sweatshirt.

“How is this possible? I don’t understand how I can be here and there at the same time.”

Haechan sighed at Jaemin’s comment.

“You could consider it time travel. Now, listen to me.”

Jaemin let himself be grabbed by Haechan’s hands, pressing on both of his arms and looked at the other’s intense eyes.

“You have to avoid yourself while we work and-,” he stopped as if making sure to have Jaemin’s whole attention, “-you can’t talk to her.”

As if Haechan’s voice was a spell that summons people, Jaemin raised his gaze from him to look behind Haechan’s shoulder where a woman was slowly walking the corridor, eyebrows furrowed trying to understand the medical records she was carrying.

“Shit,” Haechan silently cursed and, placing one hand on Jaemin’s cheek, he indicated to keep quiet by putting one finger on his own lips.

If Jaemin weren’t so weak in the limbs upon seeing her, he would have felt the tingle on his skin coming from Haechan’s palm, or he would have realized that the woman walked past them as if they were all invisible.

Jeno, arms crossed on his chest, followed the woman with his eyes then nodded once as to indicate that the path was clear.

“Why can’t I talk to her?”

Jaemin’s head wanted to turn around and catch another glimpse but Haechan didn’t move his hand from his face yet.

“You might, I promise. But only when I say so.”

“Haechan and I can shapeshift and become invisible but you can’t and we won’t be around to babysit you all the time. Do your part and stay out of trouble.”

"You look mean,” Jaemin mumbled.

"I am. Now move."

__________

A breath.

A deep and heavy breath.

He was hearing it inside his skull. His own irregular breath inside his own skull.

Then a loud ringing suffocated every other sound in Doyoung’s ears. Like tinnitus, he thought, so used to elaborate information by classifying it into boxes.

The man was looking at his hands as if they were not his, fingers gripping the defibrillator pads, watching how the chest underneath them rose and fell.

Again.

And again.

A machine. The defibrillator and Doyoung.

And that body as well.

But it was too broken to be fixed.

And when he barely heard the nurse’s question he straightened his back. “Time of death,” he inhaled, his hands now uncovering the wristwatch, “2:41 am,” he exhaled.

__________

Doyoung felt it inside his hands, under the skin.

It was uncomfortable.

He looked at his left palm and wished it trembled.

"A surgeon," the announcement came in the form of a hard pat on the shoulders.

Doyoung blinked surprised and put his glasses back up on the nose.

"Great hands," the professor shook them with vigour, his eyes wide open and intense. "Steady," the old man continued his litany of compliments.

Doyoung let him wiggle his arms for a few more seconds before sighing as another student grabbed the professor's attention.

The young boy looked down at his hands as well after the man turned his back.

His eyes scanned every line in his palms as if seeing them for the first time.

"Those hands will do big things in the future" and Doyoung now, shoulders heavy, moist fringe patted on his forehead in the humidity of the terrace, felt like cutting his hands off.

Yes. Big things.

Like playing with life and death.

Didn't you just kill a man? he asked his hands, lower lip trembling instead of his steady fingers. Huh? and you're fine?

Doyoung tightened his fists with disgust and punched the air while letting them fall with force to his sides.

The rain intensified and he stepped in the front further until feeling the cold and heavy drops hit his face. Their sound was chaotic and it calmed Doyoung's heart.

Again.

I can do it again. I've done it before.

I do it again.

I can get over it.

He opened up his hands under the rain until he started to not feel his fingertips anymore.

Then he walked back inside the hospital.

__________

When you had to deal with the first dying patient, you were paralyzed.

It was very early in the morning. Your head was still full of the dreams you had just a while ago. Your heart was full of life and excitement for finally being able to work in the field.

"Get your shit together."

That voice startled you.

Doctor Kim, the most ruthless and cold person you've ever met, was your supervisor as an intern.

You looked up at him and caught his dark eyes on that spectrally pale face.

You just moved. You had no idea what you were doing. Terrified, you let your body work automatically.

Doctor Kim was calm and efficient while your whole mind felt out of place.

Oh, God. Oh God, please.

And when his voice finally reached your ears as if from far away you sunk down on your knees.

"Good job everyone."

The kindest thing he has ever said to his interns.

The other vaguely kind thing was his introductory discourse.

"I know that interning at the ER is dreadful, but that's life."

He was staring you all down, a short line of fresh out of med school trembling kids, no one having the courage to meet his eyes.

"You have to be ready to see all sorts of things here. Okay, let's go."

And that was it.

The encouragement of his introductory discourse.

You'll feel like shit here, welcome.

You hated him and you swore to yourself that you won’t behave the same.

Ever.

He was like a souless machine, walking around and tending to his duties. Lost in thoughts as your eyes scanned his figure walking busily around the hospital, you actually wondered if he had feelings at all.

The first time you saw Doctor Kim actually show some type of sentiment, was when he exited the surgery room one day.

You were walking around with the others and checking on the patients when he walked through the corridor like a storm. It was unclear what type of feeling that was but it made you unable to stop staring at his side of the face and back as he entered his office.

The anaesthetist came out soon after, slowly and sighing deeply.

And then you understood.

You've lived many of those days afterwards until you had to welcome your own row of interns.

You smiled and did a nice short welcoming discourse.

And at that moment you, unfortunately, got what Doctor Kim meant when he was brusque with you in the beginning.

It took you all three years of residency to finally get it: there were no actual right words to tell the students and there was no point in giving fake hope that everything is going to be alright.

Still, there was no point in being a rude ass like him. So you at least smiled kindly and encouraged your students.

God knew they needed it even more now.

You've never spoken much to Doctor Kim besides what was needed or the routine good morning sir and the short morning he would answer with.

So it was strange that on the first day of your career as a real surgeon, after your hands and those of Doctor Kim near each other worked, barely moving, his muffled voice ordering the tools, your muffled voice doing the same, you hugged him.

You hugged him that day for no reason besides the overwhelming feeling of being alive.

Doctor Kim, after every surgery, good or bad, would always walk out on the terrace.

You followed him that night and stopped behind his frame. You had to talk to someone about what just happened and he was the only one who might understand.

He was facing the city lights and the wind breeze ruffled his hair. He didn’t care to push it off his forehead.

"You did well today," he said quietly without looking at you.

Oh, you blinked fast.

Your first surgery was a success but your heart was beating so fast that you couldn't understand your feelings.

Were you happy? Were you about to cry? Did you want to scream and jump? What did you want?

But Doyoung just complimented you.

So again, you let your body work automatically and you looked at yourself, as if going through depersonalization, timid feet filling the space between you and Doctor Kim, your hands touching his waist and going around it until meeting each other on his stomach. You placed your head on his shoulders and closed your eyes.

"I was so scared," you whispered.

Doctor Kim's body was stiff, no reaction from his posture, no words coming from his mouth.

Was he shocked? Was he wondering what the hell were you doing? Was he about to tell you to get your shit together again like that first time three years prior?

But he didn’t do any of these things.

He sighed once and you imagined him closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of your body.

Even if for a moment. Even if it was all in your head and he actually hated it.

Then he took a step forward and you had to let him go.

And when he turned around and placed one palm on your shoulder without looking at you in the face, you remained alone on the terrace, breathing the cold air deeply and longing for his hands to hold you a little longer.

__________

Doyoung didn't speak to you again after that night.

Nor did he look at you once.

While you found yourself staring at his nape every time he walked around. Or turning your head as if following the trail he left behind.

You couldn’t wear perfume in the hospital but it was as if Doyoung did because he’d pull your senses towards him by something invisible.

As if that first touch you shared connected you to him in obscure ways.

“Here’s the coffee that you asked for, sir.” You entered his office after his dry “come in”.

His expression was priceless and for a moment you felt the urge to look behind you and see if there were a ghost scaring him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Bringing you the coffee?”

“I asked a student to do it, not you. You’re a surgeon.”

Your lips were dangerously trying to form a smile while you placed the coffee on his desk.

“Why does it matter? I am free while those students are busy learning how to be doctors.”

“You think that just because you hugged me once when you were emotionally unstable, now we’re friends?”

That question was so sudden and cold to make you snap your head upwards.

His eyes were darker than usual and you almost gulped.

“No, sir.”

Your voice came out as a tiny exhale and if he felt sorry for his sudden and out of place tone, you couldn't see it on his face at all.

"I was just being friendly as all colleagues would," you added a new note to your own tone, trying to perhaps make him feel guilty.

"You can give me up."

His reply shut you up and you furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

"I'm saying," he spoke slowly, "that I don't want to be friendly with you. Now, please leave."

________

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" you threw your head back to drink your espresso shot as if it was alcohol and slammed the paper cup back on the counter.

Jaemin sighed pouring sugar into his coffee.

"Why did you even try? He's a jerk."

The man sipped on his drink slowly, the warmth of it misting his glasses.

“I just-” you huffed, crossing your arms on your chest. “We’re colleagues. It made sense for him to be a piece of shit with us when we were interns but now? ‘I don’t want to be friendly with you’” you mocked his deep voice. “Who the fuck does he think he is? I swear I’ll accidentally stab him with a knife!”

“Hm. Do you like him?” Jaemin asked with an unimpressed tone.

You almost grabbed the coffee from Jaemin’s hands and threw it in his face.

“Are you insane? What does that mean? Why would I like him? Kim Doyoung? Me-” you pressed your index on your chest, “liking that asshole? I hate his guts! I can’t believe you said something like this! What’s to like about him?”

Jaemin felt his fringe move around his forehead at your intense voice as if it were wind.

“No need to get so worked up about it. You’re just talking so often about him lately. Also, he’s objectively good looking. He’s also smart. I understand.”

“He’s the ugliest man I’ve ever laid my eyes on! And he’s an idiot! And I don’t talk about him! I have no idea what you’re all about.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes and finished the drink.

“Talking of ugly. What’s that shirt you’re wearing?” you asked.

The man’s head snapped down to look at it. “What’s wrong with it?”

You chuckled once. “Where did you buy it?”

“It’s a normal Polo.”

You laughed even harder. “A Polo you say? And what’s that? A knock off Holo?”

“What’s Holo?”

Jaemin’s face was genuinely confused and it amused you even more.

“Are you getting enough sleep? You’ve been acting weird lately.”

“Or,” he relaxed his expression, lifting one index up, “I come from an alternate universe.”

You chuckled once and hit his shoulder lightly as a greeting, liking his new joking side. “See you later then, alternate universe Jaemin.”

__________

Doyoung wanted to hit his head on the desk.

Your expression, hurt and shocked because of his stupid remarks made his heart tingle in a very uncomfortable way.

One thing was being severe and one thing was being rude for no reason at all.

But the thing is that you were everywhere and he hated it.

Doyoung hated that you were trying to get under his skin.

Like a scent. Like some kind of drug.

He’d scrub his hands and forearms even harder before going inside the surgery room as if with the water and soap he could get rid of the feeling of your arms around his torso under the rain too.

What were you even thinking? Asking for reassurance? From him? Reassurance from the most hated man in the whole hospital? What did you even expect? Why would you even try?

What a reckless person.

He noticed it the first time he saw you as well.

Eyes wide with curiosity and surprise, looking around the ER like it was the best place in the world. Doyoung hated your happiness but he also hated the fact that he would have to assist that light slowly die out with time.

Or at least he thought that would happen.

Days after days, months after months, he paid attention like a scientist looking at his object of study, taking mental notes and registering results. Doyoung would jolt with secret joy when his theories would reveal themselves to be true but then, like a rollercoaster, he’d feel weighed down with grief seeing you in the same state as his one.

Until he didn’t know what to desire to see anymore.

Until one day he lifted his eyes, head full of a soliloquy towards you. “How are you today? Tell me you got better. Tell me you still have your light because no one needs too many black holes in here.”

Until he realized that he couldn’t remember anything about his life before you.

And when you hugged him that day, he felt proud. For your success and your light.

You were a star and he bathed into that warmth for a little before remembering he was still a black hole and black holes attract stars until engulfing them whole with no turning back.

_________

“Why are you always around?” he blinked annoyed.

You straightened your gown that shifted after bumping into him and sighed loudly.

“In case you forgot, I work here.”

Doyoung sighed.

“This is the farthest yard from where you’re always playing with your friends.”

“I had business coming here.”

“What business?”

“That’s my business.”

Doyoung’s corner of the mouth twitched.

“It’s our business.”

“Are you a communist?” you placed your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the side.

“I’m your superior. What are you doing here?”

A few nurses whispered passing you by and you cleared your throat, trying to relax your face muscles. Doyoung rolled his eyes once upon seeing your new fake cordial expression.

“Apparently I’m doing such a good job that Mr Jung wanted to compliment me,” you raised your chin.

“Mr Jung?”

“Yes.”

His nostrils widened as if he had too much air to inhale and didn’t have time to get it little by little.

“He doesn’t just summon people to compliment them. Stay away from him.”

You scoffed incredulously at his innuendo.

“Are you hearing yourself?”

“Very well. Get back to work now.”

“Are you perhaps jealous?” the words slipped from your mouth before you could stop yourself.

But Doyoung, to your biggest surprise, smirked a little, lifting his eyebrows once.

“And if I were?” he asked, then walked around you, leaving you still for long moments in the corner of the corridor before being able to walk again.

_________

“And then he said, “and if I were?”

Jaemin gulped his food and chuckled. “I can’t imagine that.”

“I know right? Was he crazy?” you asked with your mouth full, swinging your knife.

“Maybe the director does have eyes on you. And-” he leaned in mischievously, avoiding your cutlery, “that’s why he acts as if he hates you. Because he has feelings for you.”

You chuckled nervously.

“He hates you too!”

“He doesn’t even know I exist,” Jaemin shrugged.

“Hey, Jaemin.”

“Like once I asked him something and he thought I was a patient and when I said that I’m actually-”

“Jaemin! I’m pretty sure I’ve just seen someone looking like you pass that door just now.”

The young man turned around quickly, right in time to see himself exit the food hall.

“Damn,” he laughed for a few moments. “Someone else copied my hairstyle. I guess I’m not that unnoticeable as I thought.”

You opened your mouth to comment on that since you were pretty sure it wasn’t only the hairstyle that the man copied when Doyoung approached your table like a storm scaring the shit out of you.

“What is it now?” he asked, eyes piercing through you.

You let out a long “uhhh” before talking, staring him up and down.

“Are you talking to me?”

Doyoung scoffed then sighed. “A doctor told me you were urgently looking for me.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Who?”

“Do I look like someone who knows people’s names?”

Jaemin shook his head.

“Well, I don’t need you,” you let him know.

Doyoung sighed again and the long look you exchanged made Jaemin awkwardly chuckle once.

“You can sit down with us for lunch, sir,” he offered and you inhaled sharply, kicking his leg under the table.

Doyoung looked firstly at you then at Jaemin then at you again as if not believing he was actually talking to people like you.

But the tray in his hands was getting heavy and there were no other empty tables.

He walked around Jaemin and sat down near him.

Then he rolled his sleeves and started to eat in silence.

But only for a moment.

“What?” he asked as you were both staring at him with hanging open mouths.

“It’s our first time seeing you eat,” you whispered.

Doyoung gulped the food. “I’m putting on a show for you guys. I’m a vampire that doesn��t need food.”

“See!” you hit Jaemin’s hand as if catching his attention. “He’s making jokes!”

Jaemin leaned back in his chair as if a little afraid.

“So you talk about me instead of working,” Doyoung commented.

His eyes were on you and you suddenly realized what you’ve just said.

“No,” you quickly grabbed your glass and sipped the water.

Doyoung looked at Jaemin and the young man secretly nodded a little.

And for the first time in years, you saw Doyoung smile.

Like a full-on smile. A big open smile with all the teeth out.

You blinked fast and before realizing your own lips were stretched in a smile too.

He was breathtaking.

You wanted to run away but also crash into him. You were at the top of the world and down in the dumps.

__________

The grunt you let out after hitting a hard surface resonated in the whole hallway.

For the second time.

"You are always where you shouldn't be."

You lifted your pained eyes while massaging your shoulder just to see Doyoung do the same.

"Where am I and where am I supposed to be then?" you asked.

"Around me and you should be far away from me."

"And if I say that I'm doing it on purpose?"

Doyoung's pupils trembled.

"To make you mad," you explained, the little smile creeping on your lips making him tighten his.

“You’re trying to make me mad?”

In your head, all of the conversations you would have with Doyoung sounded fun and risky in a good way.

In reality, you realized, it was so overwhelming that you felt your limbs shake.

“I’m joking, sir.” His intense eyes made you look over the windows.

“You don’t like to look at me in the eyes?” his voice was mellifluous just as his movements, getting slowly closer to you.

“Your eyes make me uneasy,” you replied honestly.

Doyoung tilted his head to the side, curious, inviting you to say more. You looked at him again.

“As if they don’t know fear,” your voice was tiny.

A little smile curved the man’s lips. “Oh, but they know what fear is.”

“And what is that?”

“What you’re feeling right now.”

"I am not afraid," you whispered.

"Then why are you stepping back?"

“I am not stepping back.”

Yet the air got softly knocked out of your lungs as you felt the wall on your shoulder blades.

Doyoung didn't reply and just got as close as to lightly brush your lower lip with his knuckle.

"You're cute when you pout," he whispered, eyes smiley under the strands fallen from his styled fringe.

You opened your mouth to talk but he walked away, leaving you alone and with an abnormally beating heart.

Again.

__________

If Doyoung’s newly humorous side was something interesting to share with Jaemin, his newly flirtatious side was something you felt the need to keep a secret.

Heated up, you walked the corridors like a storm.

Kim Doyoung?

Did your body really react that way towards Kim Doyoung?

Pulse throbbing in places you didn’t want to think of?

Because of Kim Doyoung?

Face buried in your wet hands, the cold water running in the sink, you imagined telling this to your younger self.

Then you lifted your head and turned it off, raising your gaze to look at your dilated pupils in the bathroom mirror.

_________

Doyoung didn’t care about people much.

Hours upon hours of surgery, he only needed to see his colleagues’ hands and hear their breaths while desperately trying to save yet another life. How they looked without the caps and masks was not something of interest to him, especially knowing superfluous details like their names.

Yet, when he briefly noticed the eyes of the second surgeon entering the room, Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows.

Those were not your eyes and those were definitely not your hands in the latex gloves.

And for the first time, he needed to know who that person was.

“I’m Lee,” the man whispered.

“I didn’t know you were on schedule today.”

“Yeah, heard about it last minute as well.”

Were you avoiding him?

If Doyoung’s body could show tremor, he’d had trembling legs under the desk he sat at after the surgery, and if he’d had the habit to bite his nails, he’d be ferociously eating them by now.

Unfortunately, he was stoically sitting in his office, elbows pressed into the hard iron surface, veins missing adrenaline but aggravated eyes.

Walking the corridors while people took a step back to make him pass, looking away when he’d look at them and whispering angrily behind his back, was a bliss.

The protection shielded Doyoung like a fuzzy blanket even if it sometimes felt itchy at night when he found himself the most lonely.

So when you did the same, passing him by as if hating him, he surprised himself at the sudden discomfort. Especially after

well,

after that.

He wasn’t sure himself what it was but it must have been something if it made you uncomfortable enough to not show up to a surgery.

He lifted the corner of his blanket for a moment and he fucked up.

__________

“Y/N.”

You stopped in place.

And so did most people around you.

Many found Doyoung scary but also interesting to observe when his spite wasn’t directed at them.

What did she do? you could almost hear the whispery words passing from ear to ear, amused voices, grateful for not being in your place.

“See me in my office,” Doyoung ordered after you slowly turned around.

His voice was low and no one could have heard it if the whole yard didn’t just collectively hold its breath.

“Yes, sir.”

“You all are surely not working enough if you have time to be useless,” his voice sounded louder and clean all of a sudden. “Do you want some hours assigned?”

Like a spell, everyone looked around and the buzz filled your ears back, leaving yourself and Doyoung the only still figures.

Then he moved as well, the swoosh of his cloak touching your hand when he passed near you.

You inhaled deeply and followed him.

_________

“I am sorry.”

You wished you’d accepted his offer to sit down because that single sentence floored you.

“For what?” you asked with a tiny voice.

“I know I often say things that I don’t mean. And I know that I might have made you feel uncomfortable. So I apologize.”

His eyes were round and filled to the brim with such sincerity to make you swallow hard.

“You don’t have to apologize. It was necessary to make me who I am,” you minimized.

Doyoung looked away for a brief moment. “I mean the corridor incident.”

You blinked at him.

“I made a mistake,” he added.

The first thing that came to mind was the urge to use that to your advantage.

Scold him. Make him feel guilty.

Kim Doyoung making a mistake.

Exhilarating.

The power suddenly surging in your veins went to your head so you suppressed the smile that so desperately wanted to bloom on your lips.

“Yes.”

His expression darkened even more at your reply and his adam apple moved as he swallowed. He actually hoped it wasn’t the case.

“I’ll make sure to keep the surgery schedules separated so you won’t feel uncomfortable working with me. You could have asked me first though before changing it yourself.”

The excitement died out with these words.

“What are you talking about?”

“Thursday’s surgery.”

“I was told you appointed another person yourself.”

“I did not.”

“Well, I didn’t either.”

“So-”

“It’s not like I’m trying to avoid you, no. But if you-”

“I’m not trying to avoid you either. But you said I made you uncomfortable, so-”

“I was messing with you.”

He finally went silent.

“You looked so guilty that I wanted to get a little revenge,” your voice came out a timid whisper.

Doyoung sighed, closing his eyes a little, then he stood up.

“Did I seriously cause you that much pain all of this time?” he walked towards you as if actually concerned.

“You made me cry almost every day.”

He opened his mouth like a fish before closing it. The shocking confession made him lift one hand to cup your face.

You both looked at it with fluttering eyes as if it wasn’t his.

He tried to put it away quickly but you pressed your palm on it to keep it in place.

“I’m joking. I only cried a few times.”

Doyoung’s pupils danced around just like his brain trying to process the information you were giving him. His face, confused and not knowing anymore what was a joke and what wasn’t, amused you a lot.

“I’m sorry I’ve been harsh. I’ve been-”

“A jerk.”

He gulped, his thumb slowly brushing your cheekbone.

That little gesture made you close your eyes for a moment. And when you opened them, you just leaned in and placed a quick and chaste kiss on his closed lips.

“If the corridor thing was a mistake for you, I just did one too. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We can pretend nothing of this happened."

You let his hand go and moved to take a step back just to feel his hold on your face tighten.

Pulling you towards him again, he added the second hand.

His lips were not closed anymore, but very much open to welcome your lower lip between them.

Your hands flew to his hair and pulled him towards you too. He hummed and you whined. And when you both needed air, you let yourselves go, panting against each other’s lips.

A little smile curved your lips, eyes unable to look up. Fingers on his neck, you let them slowly descend to his chest and you took a step back.

You took your lower lip inside your mouth for a moment, as if still trying to taste him and walked a few steps back.

Doyoung followed you, unable to let your body go until you touched the door. His eyes were blown out and he kissed the corner of your mouth again, and again, and again, until kissing you fully on the lips for the second time. Hands on the glass behind your head, you heard his nails grating at it slowly as you let your tongue twirl with his. Then you breathed out and he couldn’t do anything else than just moving his arms away for you to slowly open the door and leave in silence.

After the door closed, Doyoung pressed his forehead on the cold window.

“Fuck,” he whispered to himself, the fuzzy blanket he carefully wrapped himself with all of those years slowly slipping away to his feet.

__________

It didn't surprise you to see Doyoung pretend nothing happened between you as you passed each other in the corridors.

But his avoidance felt weirder than usual, even to external eyes, as if something happened indeed and he tried so hard to conceal it.

"Perhaps it's the 5th coffee talking right now, but doesn't Doyoung look weird?"

Jaemin asked lazily as he rested his body on one elbow placed on the little resting room counter. Said man passed in front of the open door and the furtive look he took of you was interesting enough for someone bored like Jaemin to notice.

You shrugged, quickly stirring the sugar in your own coffee.

"Hm?" your friend smiled at your silence, getting closer.

You sipped the drink.

"Hmmm?" Jaemin put his face into yours.

"Oh my God, get away," you tried to push him away.

"You had sex."

You spat the little coffee you still had on your mouth. Jaemin giggled and took a step back before it could land on his own.

"We did not have sex! What's wrong with you?"

"Okay. So you at least kissed," he looked up to you under his wiggly eyebrows as he handed you a few napkins.

"We-," you wanted to deny but your lips formed a frustrated smile instead. "Shit. I can't believe it either."

"Wow."

"He was- so delicate," you murmured.

Jaemin winced amused.

"But also intense you know? Like it felt-"

"Okay wait. I didn't ask for a full-on description," he made a puking expression at you.

You lightly hit his arm.

"I was just so surprised. I've never seen this side of him."

"Him liking people?" Jaemin giggled. “Yeah. That’s weird.”

__________

"So it's done. We're done. Let’s get the fuck out of here. Seeing myself around is creeping me out."

Haechan sighed, rolling around in his chair. "Not so quickly. They only kissed."

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.

"They have to confess," Jeno explained with a sleepy voice, sprawled on his own chair.

"But they love each other."

"They have to say the words."

Jaemin put his hands on the hips. "That's so stupid."

“Tell this to Doyoung. This is what he wrote in the contract,” Haechan mumbled amused, patting his chest where the Book was snuggly packed near his heart.

Jaemin grabbed another chair and sat backwards on it, resting his chin on the folded arms.

“So you know the job is done when they confess? What if they break up afterwards?”

“It has never happened before.”

“And what if it does happen?”

Jeno opened one eye. “Don’t manifest doom.”

“I’d probably have to come back and get them together again,” Haechan replied.

“I still don’t know why you’re doing this. Can’t you just recede from that contract?”

Haechan sat up properly and grabbed his water bottle. “And do what? Go back to the pits of hell?”

His eyes twinkled with mischief.

“I’ve never had this much fun in a very long time.”

__________

He brought it upon himself, he could admit that.

Ignoring you was more difficult than he anticipated and the first reaction he managed to put out when you talked back to him in front of all of the other surgeons was his usual skin cutting one.

You didn’t like it, he could see it.

You’ve never liked it and, honestly, Doyoung could not think of a single person that enjoyed being on the other side of his table.

Perhaps you were getting a little comfortable with him though because you leaned back in your chair and smiled. As if for once he couldn’t get to you.

It made him even more eager to scratch that nonchalance.

So he did.

Until the meeting was over and he got back to his office with a weird sensation on his shoulders. It somehow tasted like defeat.

And when you opened his door with a loud bang and got in, he inhaled and took a few steps back, imitating the steps you took forward.

You pushed him down on the chair, your gazes mixed together just like your breaths as you leaned down.

Only the sheer anticipation of you touching him made him lose his mind a little.

One hand on his thigh and the other going down from his lips to his extended neck and chest, dragging your nail on his shirt until reaching his stomach and belt.

Then you hit one of his feet to the side with yours, making him open his legs even wider.

He jolted and you could visibly see the way his breath stopped for a moment.

"I don't think someone else tried to put you in your place before."

Your voice was dark and his eyelids fluttered before his pupils could fall on the way your palm brushed his crotch. It twitched under his dress pants and he inhaled deeply.

"Unfortunately, it has to be me."

"We're at work-," he tried to speak but the words died in his throat as you cupped his balls.

"Sorry? Didn't hear that."

"Shit Y/N-," Doyoung closed his eyes, jaw muscles tightening as you gently massaged him.

"Hmm, Doctor Kim is at a loss of words?"

You cooed, leaning down even more until almost brushing his lips with yours.

"So cold and composed while you spit venom all day. I really want to see you lose your mind for once."

He opened his eyes right when he started to pant lightly and you gulped upon seeing his dark gaze.

"You'll regret this."

"Can't wait to feel regretful."

"Be careful."

"Don't want to."

His smile grew suddenly wicked and it threw you off as he suddenly stood up, grabbing your wrists and pushing you gently backwards.

"You’ve been loving fighting with me lately. I think that you just need to get laid."

You smiled. "Do you want to help me with that?"

Doyoung scoffed once. "I can't stand you."

"Then sit down."

He put his tongue inside the cheek, staring at your raised chin.

Then his hands suddenly crept around you and grabbed your ass. They squeezed, pulling your hips towards his, making you pant and palm his chest in the meantime. Body pressing on his and his low voice buzzing into your ear made you light headed.

"Arguing with you turns me on so fucking much."

You gulped and noticed the way Doyoung’s eyes fell on your open mouth.

“This is a very pretty shade of lipstick. Makes me want to ruin it.”

His thumb opened up your shocked lips even more by tugging at the lower one, your eyes getting hazy from his expression cutting you in half.

“Suck.”

The order made your legs buckle a little. Your pupils trembled when you slowly let your tongue touch his fingertip. Doyoung got impatient and pushed it until it was all in. You fought the urge to gag and just whimpered, grabbing his shirt into your fists as he watched you hollow your cheeks on it.

“I’ve always wanted to make a mess out of you,” he murmured, his other hand cupping your face and feeling your jaw, going down to your neck and wrapping it into its warmth. You raised your face to give him more space and your hooded eyes trying to look at him as he pressed around your throat made him smirk.

“You like that?” he watched your squirming body trying to get closer to him. He took a step back and rested his hips on his desk, pulling at you until you felt his thigh between your legs.

“What a slut,” he took out his thumb and spread the saliva on it on your lips. “Bet you wanted to suck me off under the desk, didn’t you? Fuck your superior?”

You started to breathe through your mouth, the hand wrapped around your throat making it difficult for you to form any thoughts.

“Or you wanted me to bend you over it?” he murmured, eyes glazing over your breast, his free hand painting one line from your collarbones to the cleavage of it. And when he suddenly squeezed one, feeling its softness in his palm, you almost cried out and dug your fingers into his shoulders.

“Yes, sir.”

Doyoung’s corner of the lips lifted as if curiously surprised.

“And if I don’t do any of those things?” his eyes were on your face now and it made you want to hide away or just beg him to just please do all of those things.

“What are you going to do?” he asked again.

The pool of wetness inside your panties was so embarrassing that you pressed your forehead on his shoulder.

"Then just let me go," you whispered in a tiny voice.

"You're free to g-" he caressed your jaw with one thumb.

"No. I hate it," you went on, lifting your gaze on him, and he exchanged the look, slightly taken aback.

"I dream about you every night. It's not about sex, it has never been just about it. Everything about you makes me go crazy. I hate it and I want you to just let me go.”

Doyoung blinked and cupped your face with both hands.

You just breathed out, ignoring the little voice screaming inside your mind to shut up, palming the back of his hands with yours, suddenly unable to raise your eyes on him.

"I just can't understand and I hate being like this," you added after a quick gulp.

The man opened his lips and you noticed the way you started to breathe in unison.

"There's something so darkly attractive about you," the tiny sigh coming out of your lips made their way on Doyoung ones and he licked them once, his own breath warm on your skin.

"No matter how much I try to know you, there's something that escapes me. I can't pinpoint you and it keeps me up at night."

Doyoung gulped and his hands twitched as they palmed your arms, going down to your hips and pushing you down, gently.

You gasped silently, your core so swollen that the feeling of the friction of your bodies as you rubbed on him could have been enough to make you orgasm.

"Sir-," you found the force to talk but he took his tongue out and you just dove in, catching it inside your mouth and sucking on it the way you sucked on his finger. Your eagerness made his hold even tighter, guiding your body rolls, loving the way you squirmed in his arms.

When you pulled away to whine he raised one hand to bury in your hair.

"You haunt me too," he confessed. "Sometimes I feel so pulled towards you to make me question everything I know about myself."

Your eyes fluttered and your exposed throat looked so vulnerable in Doyoung's eyes to make him lean in and bite on it.

The little moans escaping your lips caressed his ears and when he licked the spots you shivered, your hips not stopping for a second.

It was intoxicating and you didn't dare to speak again but your thoughts were seeping through all of your pores.

"I want you to tell me what you want me to do," you whispered, words broken.

"Don't cum," Doyoung ordered and it snapped something in you.

Your breath grew irregular and he chuckled.

With a little groan, you forced your hips to still but he looked down and clicked his tongue, pushing his thigh upwards and making you bounce on it a few times.

"Don't stop."

"But you said-"

"Don't cum and don't stop."

"I can't last," you mewled, twitching against his body and he pouted.

"Baby girl can't keep that in?"

You shook your head, feeling all dizzy as his hands squeezed your asscheeks, making you rub against his leg again.

"But I said what I said. Are you going to be a bad girl?" he accompanied his last word with a harsh slap on your ass that made you inhale through your teeth.

"Sir- I am begging you."

His hand dropped under your skirt that moved to your thighs in a single movement, the coldness of it on your hot clit making you cry out.

He hummed amused, slowly pressing into you and circling your sensitive bud until your legs started to twitch.

"If you want to cum," he stopped, "you'll have to do whatever I say. Is this an agreement?"

You nodded quickly, so close to orgasm that you started to ride his fingers by yourself.

He retrieved his hand and pressed it on your stomach, making you step back until you barely could keep your balance.

"You know where I live, right?"

You nodded confused.

"See you later then," he smirked and gestured to leave the office.

You inhaled deeply, the arousal so high that you considered just finger fucking yourself in front of him.

"Cruel," you whispered.

"And you love it," was his amused reply.

__________

Timid feet in front of Doyoung's entrance door, you questioned if you actually lost your mind.

Were you really willing to go this far for a single orgasm?

Or multiple, you considered.

Okay. Well, perhaps it was all worth it in the end.

Your eyes darted upwards to take in the view of his house.

The windows were lit on the first floor and it looked like a place you'd love to spend your life in. It was too huge for a single person anyway.

When he opened the door after the ring announcing your arrival you didn't expect to see him in casual clothing. It looked so off that for a moment you couldn't speak, eyeing his feet in warm socks instead of rubber shoes.

Then you hit yourself in your mind. Of course, he won't wear his doctor gown at home.

"Good evening," you finally smiled and he eyed your body with a relaxed gaze, stopping when noticing the bottle of wine you carried in your hands.

“Good evening,” he gestured to you to come in and you walked the distance from the doorstep to the hallway. His hands draped your shoulders and you sighed when he took your wet coat away.

You put in a lot of effort in your appearance, choosing the right clothing and accessories.

And he put a lot of effort into arranging his house for you, lighting up the right candles, you noticed after he indicated a room to the left.

Yet all you wanted to see was him.

And all he wanted was to see was you naked.

Venturing in slowly, you turned around looking at what you figured out was the living room. With the corner of your eyes, you saw the grey of Doyoung’s sweatpants disappear upstairs and it suddenly got silent, safe for the crackle coming from the chimney and the hard rain hitting the windows. You took off your shoes and cautiously walked on the dark wine-coloured rug, close enough to warm yourself. A black glassy mirror was hung on the wall in front of you showcasing the pitiful state you were in because of the storm. Then you looked at the piles of books scattered around your feet placed down in a chaotic path leading to the velvet couches behind you as if someone read them while circling the room and suddenly let them fall on the ground when bored. You followed the spines with your gaze trying to figure out the language they were written in when two feet made their appearance in your peripheral vision, making you snap your head up.

He approached you with a little smile, getting closer and closer like a black cat.

New thick energy made it difficult for you to breathe too deeply so you resorted to short inhales and exhales especially after he stopped so close to you.

Doyoung's hands wrapped yours as he took the wine away and placed it on the coffee table on his left. Then he sighed and you found yourself shivering under his gaze.

"Take this off," he lightly felt your shirt's material with his fingertips.

What? You inhaled, mind buzzing at how easy it was this time. No dinner and fancy courtship?

He did look like someone that'd rather take you into seclusion and have you for himself as quickly as possible though.

With slightly trembling fingers that you'd never get in the surgery room, you started to unbutton your top. Doyoung tilted his head to the side with a little smirk as if enjoying the show.

And when you actually found yourself with only your bra on he smiled, even more, eyes grazing your skin slowly until you felt a heatwave shake your limbs.

“This too.”

He slowly touched the bra fabric and you gulped.

“Take it off yourself.”

Doyoung chuckled once and went around your torso, unclasping it with quick and expert fingers.

You jolted and you felt your eyelids flutter as it slowly fell down your arms.

Doyoung grabbed the front part of it and dragged it down to the floor, adding it to the weird maze of books making the eccentric design of his living room.

His eyes caressed your perked nipples and you tried hard to resist the urge to cover yourself.

“Pants,” he ordered and his voice was deeper than usual.

You wavered a moment and he lifted his eyebrows once. Do it.

You inhaled and slowly opened the zip.

He bit his lower lip when you bent down to discard the piece of clothing and when you straightened your back he hummed.

“Wear this,” he gently threw a piece of fabric towards you which you caught quickly. It was soft and it smelled like him.

He looked at it, then slowly raised his eyes to meet yours, not moving a single muscle.

You inhaled in again, trying to calm your nerves, desperately wanting to ignore the way he was dressed himself. A white and see-through shirt with the deepest neck you’ve ever seen, barely covering any of his chest. You barely could see his sweatpants as well, but his bare ankles were fully on display, just like his forearms that you could catch glimpses of as he absentmindedly revived the locks blocking his pupils with one hand.

A raw playfulness made his features even scarier in the dim lighting.

“I want you wet. But not from the rain,” he explained, eyeing your confusion.

“You could have just told me to change into it and end it there,” you mumbled, buttoning the shirt up. It was deep blue and oversized, short on your thighs but hiding whatever you had to hide.

“Why? Did you hate that I made you undress in front of me?”

“It was embarrassing to stand naked like that.”

You wanted to sound offended but the pout your lips formed on its own betrayed your secret amusement.

“Nothing that I won’t see up close soon.”

His voice was a whisper that forced you to look away. You wanted to reply but he turned around walking towards the kitchen.

"Besides, I made some spicy sauce. You don't want to spill it on your nice clothes."

“Who said I was going to spill food on myself? I have steady hands.”

You walked over him, taking the plates from his hold and placing them down on the dining table yourself.

You wanted to look unbothered by him just like he looked unbothered by you, but the truth was that you just had to do something to not feel that overwhelmed.

“You don’t,” he argued following you near the table.

You scoffed lifting your head to look at him. “Excuse you? I’m a surgeon.”

“Your hands don’t look like the hands of a surgeon when you’re around me.”

You scoffed.

“I think that the biggest thing in the world is your ego.”

“You haven't seen my-”

“Don’t say it.”

He closed his mouth as the little smile he had on kept lingering on his lips.

Domestic and flirty. It was getting to your head and you hadn’t had the opportunity to sip a single drop of alcohol yet.

As if reading your mind, he grabbed the bottle of wine you brought and fumbled slowly with the cap.

"That's my favourite shirt. And I want to fuck you in it."

The shivers that travelled down your spine almost made your body twitch and your hands stopped in mid-air as you were placing the cutlery.

He smiled at you when you looked at his expression.

His lips. His eyes and cheekbones. His skin under the lights.

Fuck. You really needed a drink.

And after he popped the bottle open with a loud sound that disrupted the silence, the red wine erupted out of it, dripping off his hand up to the wrist you had your drink right off his fingers.

Doyoung’s pupils trembled as you leaned in like a cat and his lips opened to breathe better seeing you lick the drops off his fingertips. Rested with his hips on the table, it creaked when you came forward, even more, hands pressed on his open thighs and reaching for his face. You finally caught his lips in yours and you let him taste the wine on your tongue.

It was rich and slightly sour, then it became sweet as only Doyoung’s taste remained lingering on his lips.

“Delicious,” he commented after the slow kiss. “You have good taste in wine.”

“And men.”

His expression was hidden under his long fringe but you could sense that he was smirking.

Then he raised his head a bit and had a gulp out of the bottle himself.

You had the first row to the show that his adam apple moving up and down gave you. Then your eyes naturally fell to his collarbones and bare chest, his white shirt barely covering anything.

Your fingers gently darted to his skin and you palmed it, then to his prominent collar bones, feeling the warmth of his chain around his neck.

He hummed, letting his head down to catch your hand with his lips. They kissed your fingertips then he finally dove in and let you taste his tongue again, hands quick to let the bottle go and grab your body instead.

Closer closer closer you needed him more and more.

“I need to feed you dinner first,” he grabbed your wrists as your hands tried to unbutton his shirt.

“If you won’t fuck me, I can find someone else to do it,” you whispered.

His eyes tightened and he exhaled once.

The movement was so quick that your head spun and the spank that arrived at your ass made you jolt on your toes before you could lean down on the table, fingers trying to grip the tablecloth.

“Yeah? I want to see you get fucked by someone else while my name spills out of your filthy mouth.”

His voice was raspy and it made you bite your lower lip, ass eager to push back and to rub against Doyoung's crotch. He hummed at your movements and lifted the shirt up to your waist, palming your skin and looking down at the way your ass cheeks engulfed your pretty lingerie. You strained your neck upwards at the feeling of his fingers slowly caressing your lower back, feeling the lace of your panties, then you whimpered as he grabbed the material and stretched it towards him before letting it go.

"You want this little hole all filled up, don't you?" he murmured, hand sliding between your thighs to rub on the soft and thin fabric. Your legs shifted in place at the sensation and you arched your back for more. The little 'Doyoung' making him exhale.

"And I thought you'd keep calling me sir."

You tried to turn your head towards him, wondering if his suddenly absent hand meant that he wanted you to actually call him that.

But then you saw that hand around you, reaching for the bucket of ice prepared for the wine on the table in front of you. And at that moment you realized that it was for you instead - his drink for the night.

The ice cube wetted his fingers when he took it out and he first placed it on your open lips. You sucked on it for a moment, the warmth of your skin already melting it, strands of water slowly descending on your chin and inside your cleavage.

"Say 'blue' and I'll stop," his voice was deep near your ear.

You nodded breathlessly and you shivered feeling his hand hover over your back.

And when you first felt it on your spine, your fingers independently grabbed the edge of the table. Then it went down and down, forcing goosebumps out of you.

Doyoung’s palm soothed your skin, warming it up before reaching to the front to grab at your hard nipples poking through the fabric. And when the cube reached your clothed core you mewled, lifting yourself on the tiptoes.

“Shit-shit-,” you curled your neck down, jolting under his touch, wanting more of it and running away at the same time.

Your panties were all wet and you were unsure if for the ice or your own body and when Doyoung took away the cube, giving you a break by gently pressing his own wet fingers between your lips you wished for the fabric to not be there anymore.

“More?” you whined, chest rising and falling at a crazy speed.

Doyoung snickered once, his hands grabbing your sides and turning you around.

Mind hazy, you didn’t have the time to wonder where the ice cube went, the only thought roaming your head being the need to pull him closer to you.

And you did just that, wrapping his waist with your thighs after he lifted you on the table with a thud, making all the cutlery and glasses jingle.

And you clasped your fingers into his hair while his hands roamed your naked body under his shirt.

It was when he pressed his cold, open lips on yours that you finally mewled, feeling the ice cube travel from his tongue to yours.

It got smaller and you sucked on it, giving it back, hearing him hum deeply into the kiss.

Then he broke it suddenly as if unable to control himself from kissing your neck instead, biting and sucking on your skin as hard as he did on the ice cube. You rolled it on your tongue until it became nothing, finally opening your lips to moan, feeling his cold touch on your breasts as his quick fingers unbuttoned the shirt.

The material of your panties grazed your legs at Doyoung’s rough pull. You watched them fly and land on the lamp behind him.

Then you felt his fingers finally rubbing your clit and you inhaled deeply. You were so horny that you were embarrassed to admit that just a few rubs would be able to throw you over the edge.

Doyoung saw it and from his expression, he was enjoying himself maybe too much.

“Come on love, cum for me,” he murmured on your open lips. You whined, nail digging into his shoulders and you shook your head.

“You’ve been begging me for an orgasm and now you want to be a brat about it?”

His hand worked quicker and when he inserted one of his long and slender fingers inside, you actually moaned loudly.

“Sir-” the title slipped from your shaking lips and he chuckled against your cheek, pushing another one and curling them both, pressing into you and trying to find the sweetest spots you had.

“Right here?” he whispered amused.

You start swearing, moulding his biceps under your tight grip, the table and everything on it shaking at the fast pace of Doyoung’s pumping.

And then it was too much and it overflowed.

The gasp you emitted made you fall forwards. Your arms wrapped Doyoung’s body tightly as you came in spasms, legs trying hard to meet each other around his wrist but pressing into his sides instead.

Doyoung let you whine a little bit more, hand slowing down but never stopping, fucking you through your orgasms as long as he could. Then your jaw got grabbed by his other hand and he lifted your face to meet his gaze. His eyes caressed your fucked up expression before kissing your lips.

"Good girl. I know you can give me another one."

You gripped his shoulders for dear life as Doyoung's fingers came back outside to desperately rub at your over-sensitive clit.

“Doyoung-Doyoung-” you writhed in his hold before he could slip away from your arms and fall on his knees.

You’ve gotten head before, but this time, maybe for the overstimulation or your secret feelings for that man, it felt like the first time ever.

Not knowing what to grab to steady yourself as his tongue danced in circles around your engorged clit, you buried your hands in his hair. His hands pressed into the softness of your thighs just as hard and when he raised his gaze up to look at you from underneath his messy fringe, you felt like falling.

And you almost fell when he resorted to quick short licks that drove you insane, making you cum for the second time in such a short time to make you lightheaded.

The single fuck got prolonged as much as the orgasm Doyoung gave you and when he started to kiss your inner thighs, coming up towards you, on your stomach, pressing his wet open lips on your skin until meeting your breasts, you were ready to admit that you were madly in love with him.

His kiss felt as if you were underwater, unable to breathe and understand space. You felt his arms around you and suddenly you felt weightless and he carried you around until you felt the velvet of the couches underneath you and his body pressed flushed on yours. His waist got automatically wrapped by your legs again as if that were their place and they weren’t aware of it before.

He slipped his hands on your hips, grabbing your ass hard as he murmured against your lips. “Are you going to be a brat with me again?”

His voice was calm but deep as if a storm was incoming, making your knees feel weak.

“Words,” he spoke again, pressing himself a little more between your legs.

You breathed out.

“I don’t know,” you managed to say before pushing him away. He fell to the side, grip softened mostly for the surprise than your strength.

“Are you going to be a brat to me?” you asked, straddling his lap and pressing your palms on his stomach, going up on his hot skin and lifting his shirt until he couldn’t do anything else than take it off.

Then his hands found their way on your skin too, unmercifully squeezing your soft breasts. He didn’t care to be gentle and lifting himself up he sucked on your skin so hard until it was almost painful. You wrapped your arms around his torso and threw your head back, stretching out your neck. He left bites all over it, travelling down, tightening his teeth grip around your nipples, making you pant softly.

“I don’t know,” he finally replied.

He looked at you from underneath his fringe and you smiled at each other. You caressed his stomach from below his belly button and going up until reaching his collarbones and he leaned back on his elbows to support his weight. He followed your hand going down on him then his eyes shifted their focus to watch how your pelvis started to move back and forth on his sweatpants, right on top of his hard cock.

“Mm,” he exhaled as finally getting some relief and you imitated him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and closed your eyes and Doyoung flexed his thigh muscles.

He was enjoying seeing you like that, vulnerable and whiny, needy and horny, while he did nothing to help you with it and leaving you desperate.

His eyes caressed your whole body, his lips parted slightly at the sight of your breasts bouncing softly, at how you were spreading yourself on him. You felt hot and plump, your thoughts were blurry and foggy.

"Look at you," he talked. “What a cute little slut.”

You replied with a whine, locking eyes with him but not being able to do that for a long time as his gaze pierced through you, adding to the sensation his pants gave to your raw clit.

So you kissed his lips, messily and sloppily, breathing on his mouth and he finally caressed your thighs and ass, pressing you down even more and closer to him.

Your arms got tighter around his neck and he buried his face into your chest. His hair tickled your chin and you intertwined your fingers into his locks.

So close to cum, you closed your eyes and just let yourself go, your rhythm lost, your muscles aching, without expecting Doyoung's fingers to suddenly get inside of you.

You squeezed yourself onto him with a cry.

"I repeat. Are you going to behave again as you did today?" you heard him ask as his fingers pumped fast into you.

"No, no, oh fuck, please, no," you managed to answer while gasping for air.

"I'm going to-" you whimpered about to orgasm and Doyoung at that moment got you off of him, pushing you down on your back and lifting your legs around him, edging you.

"You're going to cum when I say so," he commented. "You're lucky I'm even giving it to you at all today," he added.

You bit your lower lip frustrated.

"Babe, please-" you begged.

He smiled brightly at the sudden pet name, shushing you as he began to kiss your legs from the knees down, going lightly on the inside of your thigh, making you twitch as he approached your dripping pussy. But he passed over, nudging at it with his nose just to make you jolt and kissed your lower stomach, passing his tongue on the spots he bit before and continued until reaching your lips.

Then, getting on his knees he finally got rid of his pants and underwear.

You felt your core pulsing at the sight and breathed heavily. He tugged at your legs, dragging you until the back of your thighs touched his hips and holding himself he nudged at your entrance. You let your arms fall around your head and bit down on your hand as his tip caressed your clit.

"Doyoung," you whined as your muscles jolted intermittently. You then felt his fingers drag on your leg until grabbing your knee and putting it on his shoulders he humped your folds.

You let your head fall back into the couch, exposing your neck and making your breasts tighten.

It was too much. You just wanted him to penetrate you and to make you scream.

"I want to cum so badly, please," you begged again.

But he acted as if not being able to hear from you.

Your muscles twitched in pain and you lifted yourself to meet him. He pushed you down and distanced himself.

"Behave," he warned.

You looked at his half-closed eyes and plump lips as he bit it with his teeth.

He was suffering as well. He couldn't take it anymore, you could tell.

And when you took your hand to your mouth and licked two fingers, slowly, without breaking eye contact he gasped.

You were about to suck on them, you wanted to see him going crazy, but you didn't manage to as he penetrated you right at that moment, quick and deep, with a grunt.

"Fuck," he swore picking up the pace until the wet sounds overwhelmed the storm.

_________

It was dark. The only light came from the fireplace bathing the living room with a red and yellow hue.

You were both sprawled on the rug under fuzzy blankets.

"Come sit on my face. Show me where I belong."

Doyoung’s voice was a low buzz, imitating the storm still going on as it has been the whole night.

You rolled your eyes to the side amused, ignoring his warm hand palming your knee, nudging you to come closer.

“You still want to go? I can’t cum again,” you pouted.

“But I want you to cum,” he pouted as well.

You sighed and gently got on top of him with the intent of ignoring him and finally fall asleep.

But his expression changed when you were near enough. “I want you to be completely fucked up when I’m done with you.”

You lifted one hand to cup his cheek and kissed his nose.

He blinked at you amused.

“I love it when you smile like this,” you whispered.

The dying flames danced on his face as he stared at you for a few moments.

Then you clicked your tongue.

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t get all dark and distant.”

Doyoung exhaled. “I am not.”

“There’s so much to be proud of, don’t you think?” Your fingers gently started to draw patters on his forehead, going down on his eyes as he closed them, then on his cheeks. He opened his eyelids again after the touch and you talked again.

“Like striving to do good. Trying. Surviving.”

His lips opened to let out a small puff of warm air. Then he hugged you tighter and hid his face in the crook of your neck.

You exhaled too, closing your eyes and lulling his exhausted soul.

“I am so proud of you,” you whispered but you didn’t know if he heard you.

_________

You woke up in Doyoung's bed.

It was huge, warm and it smelled like his laundry detergent. The sheets were soft and luscious, caressing your naked body as you shifted underneath them to look to the side.

Your eyelids fluttered and your lips turned their corners up.

Fighting the urge to squeal and hide your face inside the pillow, you resorted to admire Doyoung's sleeping face.

Resting on his stomach with raised arms thrown around his head, only his eyes and ruffled hair poked out behind his bicep and shoulder. And when he slowly opened one puffy eye you giggled and it curved, showing that he was smiling too.

"Good morning," you whispered.

Doyoung sighed once first. "It's probably afternoon."

His sleepy voice made your body heat up and without thinking you just got closer. He turned on his side and wrapped your body with his arms, pulling you closer to his chest.

"Did you sleep well?" he murmured.

"Like a baby. You exhausted me enough."

The little kiss he placed on top of your head was so unexpected to make you lift your face.

He smiled.

"You inspire so much tenderness in me,” he explained timidly.

You smiled back, resting your chest on his. His hands automatically wrapped your sides as if they've always belonged there.

"I'm glad I'm softening your edges. Now you need to behave like this with everyone else too."

"You want me to kiss the whole hospital on the forehead?"

"Metaphorically."

"Also, I thought you loved my hard edges," he purred, shifting your body to fully rest on top of his.

His hard cock deliciously poked your clit with its tip as his hands slowly made you roll on it.

You exhaled and leaned down, rubbing your lips on his as you whispered. "I do."

His smirk was lazy just like your movements.

"So you want me just like this?"

“I want you. I want everything you are. I want everything that you hide.”

Your hands caressed his chest and came to cup his face. His expression wavered and you found him so vulnerable all of a sudden to make your guts twist.

“Unleash the darkness that you have inside. Engulf me with it. I am not afraid. I want it.”

Doyoung wrapped your body tightly and pressed you down on himself even more.

"There's no darkness inside of me anymore. Not when you're around me."

__________

From “I will not vanish” - Haechan’s backstory

The heavy door opened and closed.

Doyoung looked over his shoulder to see a stranger approach him with slow feet. He raised his eyes and gave Doyoung a small nod.

The other did the same and when the stranger aligned himself with Doyoung, looking over the cold city, they both exhaled.

The silence was so deep, safe for the ambulances screaming in the distance that Doyoung found himself restless.

The stranger leaned on the rail, resting his weight on the elbows and sighed again.

“You know,” he started.

Doyoung looked at him with the corner of his eyes.

“What I like about life,” he paused, “is that you can die.”

The stranger bit his lower lip for a moment then looked over to the other. His gaze felt so heavy that Doyoung’s arms skin got goosebumps.

“Imagine being immortal,” the man continued before letting out a dry snicker.

“Around forever. A pathetic being with no reason to exist besides existence itself. Forever and forever and forever. With no purpose. Until you’d beg someone to kill you but they can’t.”

Doyoung’s fingers twitched on the cold metal of the terrace rail and for a moment his rational mind wanted to ask that stranger just what nonsense he was talking about.

But lately, Doyoung and rationality didn’t match well so he didn’t.

“Immortality sucks only if you’re the only immortal one.”

The stranger smiled bitterly. “Do you want to be immortal?”

Doyoung put his hands inside the gown’s pockets. “I’d die tomorrow.”

“But you wish immortality was a thing.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have a job anymore,” Doyoung smiled. “But yes. I wish people didn’t die.”

“You’re very selfish.”

That remark made Doyoung frown. “How’s that selfish?”

The stranger turned around and rested his back on the rail instead.

“Why do you want people to not die?”

“Because-,” Doyoung started but didn’t know what to add. “Because it’s painful.”

“For them or you?”

Doyoung sighed. “Okay. I see what you’re doing here.”

The stranger smiled a little.

“It’s not like I think only of myself when others die. I think how unfair it is when I know they didn’t have the chance to do everything they wanted to do first.”

“And what’s that?”

Doyoung thought about it for a moment. “Just- living. Experiences. And most of them actually had enough time to do it. They just took it for granted. And it’s so- painful.”

“And what about you? If you said that you’d be ready to die tomorrow, I guess you’ve been living your life to the fullest with no regrets.”

“Actually, I don’t know if I’ve been living all of this time.”

The stranger shrugged. “Just start now.”

“You make it seem so easy.”

“Living? Hell yeah. You just need to give less fucks.”

Doyoung didn’t reply.

“If you’re ready to die tomorrow, then you should not be afraid of living.”

The stranger’s tone deepened and Doyoung looked his way.

“Who are you by the way?”

“Oh,” the stranger straightened his back and extended his hand. “I’m Haechan. Nice to meet you.”

Doyoung imitated him and shook his hand.

It was warm and in a moment so many thoughts came to Doyoung’s mind to make him breathless.

"I thought I had my life figured out and yet after meeting you I got shocked into awareness."

"You inspire so much tenderness in me."

“I became obsessed with you and it scares me.”

“You could have just told me. You could have told me that you fell apart. Instead, you acted like it didn't bother you at all.”

“You are worth the wait.”

“I can't let go of you.”

Doyoung took away his hand so quickly to almost fall backwards.

He took a few steps on the concrete of the terrace as if trying to get as far from Haechan as possible.

“You good?” the other asked but his face wasn’t mirroring his question.

Instead, a plain expression was adorning his feline features and for an instant, Doyoung felt terror.

“You’re not Haechan,” he found himself whispering.

The man in front of him cracked his knuckles once. “And who’s Haechan?”

“My friend.”

“Friend? Is someone that uses somebody else a friend?”

“He’s not using me.”

“Isn’t he now?”

The man started to walk towards Doyoung slowly, one finger on the rail, grating at the metal with his nail.

“Do you believe in soulmates, Doyoung?”

Doyoung flinched at his name on that man’s lips and started to retreat slowly.

“I do.”

“Soulmates are people that always find each other regardless of everything, aren’t they?”

“Yes.”

“And are you and Y/N soulmates if Haechan is always there forcing you together like some sort of cheap mismatcher?” the man spit out the last words.

Doyoung gulped and his brain tried to remember how he punched him in some past life and actually win. His surgeon hands would definitely get broken in a second.

“Don’t you want to break this cycle? Find your true soulmate?”

“That’s Y/N.”

“Because you say so.”

“I don’t give a fuck about your orthodox theory, Archangel.”

The man stretched his neck to the side and Doyoung didn't have the time to run away.

#doyoung #doyoung smut #neosmutcollective #nct-writers #nct smut #doyoung angst #nct angst #nct fanfiction #doyoung fanfiction #nct doyoung #doyoung scenarios #nct scenarios #soulmates collection #doyoung doctor au #nct doctor au

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writemekpop · 3 years

Text

Love the Way You Lie (Part 2) | Kim Doyoung

Pairing: Kim Doyoung x Reader

Summary: You find yourself back in bed with Doyoung... but can you forgive him for hitting you?

Genre: Angst, Ex boyfriend!Doyoung

Warning: Mentions of domestic violence, sexual content

Word count: 1.8k

Gif: @thoresque

Part 1 | Part 2 ⭐️

“Y/n?”

Doyoung’s voice pierces through the fog that clouds your mind.

You blink twice, but this is no hallucination - it really is him. Doyoung looks thinner than you remember – his cheekbones jut out and his cheeks look gaunt.

Your hands start to tremble, and your phone clatters onto the floor. You stand there, frozen.

Doyoung picks up your phone from the floor. As he gives it back, the cracks in the screen perfectly match the cracks in the mug Doyoung shattered when he hit you.

“I can’t believe you’re here, Y/n! Can I… get you a drink?” Doyoung’s voice is saturated with forced sweetness. He’s smiling, but his black eyes, which once held galaxies, are dull.

“I don’t know…” You glance towards the exit. You could be out of here in ten seconds.

“Please, Y/n. Just one coffee.” Doyoung’s voice cracks, and real emotion flares across his face. You don’t know what it is, maybe the years of good memories, but something makes you say yes.

You sit across from Doyoung in a booth. You stare soullessly at the foamy spiral on your latte.

Doyoung clears his throat. “How… have you been?”

“I’ve been fine. Great, actually,” you lie.

The truth is, you haven’t had a good night’s sleep since that night. Tossing and turning in bed, crying. Even sleeping with other men hasn’t numbed the pain that Doyoung caused.

Doyoung nods. His eyes are glassy, and pain is written all over his face. You almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

“How about you?”

Doyoung’s face screws up. “These have been the worst months of my life. I really regret what I did, Y/n. God, I am so angry with myself!”

Doyoung slams his fist down on the table, and his mug jolts.

The noise makes you flinch.

Doyoung sees your wide eyes and trembling lips, and gasps. He closes his eyes and takes three deep breaths. The lines in his face smooth, and the flush on his neck slowly fades.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I’ve been taking anger management classes, but it’s… hard.”

Doyoung’s gaze lands on the puddle of coffee on the table. A small smile appears on his pink lips. “I spilled coffee on our first date, do you remember? I was so nervous; I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking.”

You can’t help but smile at the memory, too. You remember stilling his shaking hand and leaning in to kiss him.

“Those were the days, right?” you say, voice distant.

Doyoung’s face becomes serious. “Y/n…I can’t bear to lose you. You’re too important to me. Could we… catch a movie or something?”

Truthfully, you miss him too. Doyoung was your best friend before he was ever your boyfriend. He threw you a graduation party after college, he listened to you cry when your parents divorced.

“We could try being friends. A movie sounds… nice.”

Doyoung’s eyes light up for the first time. He reaches his arms out to embrace you, but you step back.

“I think it’s a little too soon for that,” you say, eyes trained to the floor.

You watch Doyoung’s white trainers shuffle back. “I’ll see you around, Y/n.” And with that, he leaves.

---

Over the next week, you meet up with Doyoung three more times.

Each time, you get more and more comfortable in his presence. His large hands almost stop being the ones that hit you… and go back to just being hands again.

You can tell that Doyoung wants you back. You see the way his eyes linger on your lips and how his hand brushes yours when you’re walking.

But every time that happens, you ignore it. A part of you wants to take him back, but the other part never wants to see him again. He hit you. You’re not sure you can ever forgive him for that.

---

It’s a Saturday evening, and you and Doyoung are on another one of your not-dates.

Seoul was on high alert for a freak snowstorm, so you decided to meet at your apartment to be safe.

You’re sat at the kitchen island, watching Doyoung cook.

His face is splattered with flour, and his pretty pink tongue pokes out as he concentrates on the pasta.

“Dinner’s ready!” Doyoung chimes. “I put extra parmesan on yours, just how you like it.”

You give him a small smile. “This is delicious, Doie. I’ve missed your cooking.”

Doyoung flashes you his signature gummy smile. “You never could resist a bit of cheesiness.”

“Doyoung!” You place your hand on his chest to shove it playfully, but then, you feel the firm outline of his muscles, and his pounding heartbeat.

You realise in one breathless moment, that you don’t want to let go.

Before you have time to regret it, you pull Doyoung towards you.

Then, you kiss him on the mouth.

You begin to move your lips against his, slowly - just tasting, testing. The air gets sucked out the room, and all you can feel is him.

Doyoung doesn’t kiss you any deeper. He’s so afraid that he’ll make the wrong move and scare you away - that this precarious moment might topple off the edge forever. He digs his nails into his thigh.

Your hands trace up Doyoung’s arms, brush across his neck and settle on his jaw. It’s like your fingers have their own homing mechanism for him.

Loving Doyoung is just so easy. Except when it isn’t.

You snap your eyes open and force yourself to pull away from Doyoung. His hair is dishevelled, and his cheeks are flushed pink.

“I think you should leave now,” you say, trying to calm your restless heart.

“Y/n… I-” Doyoung starts, but he sees the look on your face and stops himself. “Alright, I’ll go.”

You peer out of the window, gasping when you see that the snow has tripled in the time you were having dinner. Harsh wind whips the snow around like white bullets.

“Doyoung, how are you supposed to walk home in weather like this?”

Doyoung grits his teeth and pulls his coat collar up over his cheeks. “I’ll be fine.”

Doyoung opens the front door a crack, but the wind shoves inside, making the door slam open.

You both exclaim, and Doyoung hauls the door shut. “Hmm… maybe walking in that weather isn’t such a good idea.”

Doyoung stands there, staring. There’s a question on his lips, but you know he’s not going to ask.

“Fine.” You say. “You can stay.”

Doyoung visibly relaxes. “Thank you, Y/n.”

You nerves are suddenly on edge. “You’ll have to stay in the spare room.”

Doyoung nods.

---

You lie in your bed, tossing and turning. You can’t believe that Doyoung is in the next room.

You reach your hand out and touch the mattress where he used to sleep.

“You know what I love about your body?” Doyoung asked, trailing his long fingers down your naked waist.

“What?” you said, shivering at his touch.

Doyoung kissed your neck, then your collarbone, then your chest.

“It’s just so responsive… I could do this all day.”

You shudder at the memory. No. It doesn’t look like sleep will be greeting you tonight.

You slip out of the bed and tip toe into the kitchen. Keeping the light off, you pour yourself a glass of milk and perch on the kitchen counter.

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

You jolt at the sound of his voice.

Doyoung is standing at the kitchen door. His black hair is sticking up in all different directions, and his eyes are puffy with sleep.

“Do you… want some milk?” you ask, tentatively.

“Please,” Doyoung says, shuffling towards you.

You stand in a comfortable silence as you sip your drinks. This secret shared moment, with only the watery blue light from the fridge to illuminate you, is almost… intimate.

When you both finish your drinks, Doyoung speaks up. “I guess we better get back to sleep.”

Doyoung walks ahead of you to the corridor. “Good night, Y/n,” he says, opening the door to the spare room.

But before he can step in, you place your hand on his shoulder. “Wait!”

Doyoung stands frozen, eyes wide.

“Do you…” you clear your throat. “Do you want to sleep in my room?” You know you shouldn’t, but you just can’t help yourself.

Not trusting his voice, Doyoung nods once.

You lead him into your bedroom, and slip under the covers. You lie there, side by side, staring up at a crack in the ceiling.

You can feel the warmth from his body next to yours. He’s so close… if you just pushed your arm out it would touch Doyoung.

You reach out your fingers, and gasp when they meet Doyoung’s.

Carefully, you entwine your fingers with his. His skin is so warm, so smooth… before you know it, you shift onto your side to face him.

Your hand moves up to his face, and you cup his cheek. You pull him towards you, and suddenly, you’re kissing again.

Keeping your mouth attached to Doyoung’s, you roll onto your back. Doyoung follows smoothly and shifts on top of you, his hips resting against yours. He kisses you back eagerly now.

The two of you move instinctively, one piece of clothing falling off one after another till you’re both naked - skin to skin.

With your lips pressed against his, you spread your legs and wrap them around his waist. He fits inside you so well, like he was made for you.

Doyoung makes love to you so gently that you could cry. His lips never leave yours – it’s almost magical…

With a soft groan, he flops onto the bed beside you.

The two of you lie still until your breaths quiet.

Doyoung is the first to break the silence. “I still love you,” he whispers.

When you don’t reply, he goes on. “It’s okay, I don’t expect you to say it back. I just… wanted you to know.”

---

You wake up to the feeling of Doyoung’s arm around your waist.

You try to get comfortable, but his grip just feels suffocating. You remember that he’s a man - with a temper - and suddenly you’re scared.

You shove his arm off and sit bolt upright in the bed, panting.

Doyoung rolls onto his back. He rubs his eyes and groans softly. You watch him as he slowly cracks one eye open, and then the next.

When he sees your expression, he sits up, face set in serious lines.

“I can’t do this…,” you whisper. “Us, I mean.”

Doyoung frowns. “Y/n, I-”

Tears flood your eyes. “You… hit me, Doyoung.”

Doyoung hangs his head down in his lap. At least he has the decency not to meet your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. That’s all I can say.” His voice cracks. “Thank you for… trying to give me a second chance.”

You walk Doyoung to the front door. He pulls it open, and only a light sheet of snow dusts the pavement.

Doyoung steps outside. “I will always love you, Y/n.”

Doyoung turns back to look at you, but you’ve already shut the door.

---

MASTERLIST

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mojjisxng · 3 years

Note

hi! idk if req are open but can i request an nct 127 reaction where their idol s/o is maybe on the same variety show as them? :) ty!

here you go <33

i haven’t written for nct in sooooo long, so this feels good. i hope you guys enjoy this :D

this is just nct 127 acting like five year olds in front of the cameras, all because of their gorgeous s/o. i did get a little carried away with haechan’s, especially with making him into a huge menace (affectionate) <33

reaction under the cut

taeil

oh lord, i just know that he’d be nervously laughing, which makes things slightly awkward, but absolutely hilarious for the audience. the hosts are just thinking ‘wtf is up with him’, while you, his members and your members are trying not to giggle at how flustered he is that you’re both on the same show together. nctzens just make tons of comments like ‘taeil isn’t making his feelings for y/n totally obvious or anything 👀💀’, and ‘he looks like he’s about to pass out wtf.’

johnny

johnny would be all up in your personal space, if you had to do any physical activities. let’s just say you miraculously got paired up together and he had to guide you to a specific place while you’re blindfolded, best believe that he would be basically back hugging you the whole time. you two would be giggling together and acting all cute, making it totally obvious that there’s something going on between you both. fans would definitely trend something like ‘#johnny gets bitches?’ 💀💀

taeyong

at first, everything is going smoothly, and you’d think that taeyong is just going to act like a normal human for the duration of filming. that is until one of the hosts picks up on your boyfriend’s sneaky glances of you, and then he shrivels up into a blushing, stuttering mess. “what’s so interesting about y/n huh?” all of the blood rushes to the poor man’s face, “n-nothing, i mean w-what are you talking about?!?!” 👀👀…and it was all going so so well.

yuta

now yuta would actually manage to act like a functional human being. the filming would go very smoothly on his part. he would answer any questions he was asked, take part in all the activities and interact very well with you and the rest of your group. the only tell-tale sign that anything was going on between you two, would be the myriad of compliments that he would throw your way. “wow y/n did amazing in that last challenge, they’re such a fast runner and they still look stunning afterwards.” starting to look a lil sus there yuta.

doyoung

we would all like to think that doyoung is another sensible man for the most part. however, sometimes he won’t even look your way because he thinks the fans will catch onto the fact that you’re dating, yet this just makes him look so awkward. everyone is just thinking ‘wtf’, while you’re sat there facepalming. the paranoid look does not look good on doyoung, mans is sweating and acting shifty asl. the comments are definitely things like ‘my guy is fighting for his life out there.’ if anyone tries to criticise you on the show though, he is the first one to jump in and defend you.

jaehyun

i think that jaehyun would try to act composed like yuta, and he would succeed at the beginning of the filming process, but it would gradually descend into him giggling to himself just because you’re also on the variety show with him. he would honestly start behaving like a naughty school child, making him look a little insane. jaehyun would be thinking something like ‘omg i know some things about y/n that all these people don’t hehehe. *internal gasp* I’M SPECIAL.’ meanwhile, everyone is so concerned with how he’s acting, but no one says a thing. nctzens make some of the funniest looking clips go viral and caption them stuff like ‘he was either going through a high fever, or he was literally just high.’

jungwoo

throughout the variety show, jungwoo spills so much information about you, honestly not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks. when the hosts ask how he knows so much about you in those patronisingly teasing voices, he just answers “well we’re *smirks at you* really close so i have loads of stories about them, and of course…i’M tHeIr BiGgEsT fAAAAn!!!!” the embarrassment that flows through you, from head to toe, is unbearable, which is why you decide to have your own fun. you tell almost every embarrassing story you can think of about jungwoo. the variety show has now turned into a battle of humiliation…good luck, you’ll need it.

mark

let me introduce you to giggling five year old #2, a.k.a mark lee. every single time he catches your eye, he bursts out into fits of giggles, but no one questions it because 1. if they’re the members, they know about you and mark, and 2. literally everyone is used to mark laughing at anything and everything. the thing is, you’re exactly the same as mark, so the pair of you are crying with laughter in the corner, completely immobilised by your own idiocy, while everyone else is doing the tasks and interviews. but ermmmm at least you two are happy.

haechan

bestie, i’ll be honest with you, this is a tough time for you, not haechan, just you. that’s because this man will do anything to tease you and make you blush…at this point he’ll probably make you pass out from embarrassment. he’ll make a huge show of it too, flouncing about and making theatrical gestures, when telling the most embarrassing stories about you. “and then *flails is arms everywhere* they TRIPPED, in front of who you ask?!?!?!?! LEE SOOMAN HIMSELF!!!!!!!” *pretends to faint, very dramatically*. haechan will also not hesitate to straight up smack a massive smooch right on your cheek in front of the cameras, revelling in the shocked look on your face and the way you want the ground to swallow you up. he will get his ass beat by you and all of the nct management team after filming. what can i say…stay safe soldier 🧍‍♀️

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nctsjiho · 3 years

Text

Resolve [Part 2 of ‘Explode’]

Click here for part 1

warnings: none, it’s just a bit longer and the angst of part 1 continues so...

❀ Taeyong decides it’s time for Dream and JiHo to make an end to their fight

JiHo had spent the night over at WayV’s dorm. The chance of seeing Haechan after practise had ended wasn’t one she was willing to take. Johnny had sent Haechan over to the Dream dorm since he wanted the boys to reflect on what they had done and find a way to fix it. He was also slightly agitated and didn’t want to risk yelling at Haechan if he started whining.

A bit after JiHo had left the practise room, the dance instructor came back and had asked where the girl was and why everyone was looking so down. Doyoung had to explain the whole situation which brought the mood down even more. The rest of practise was a nightmare. It felt like it was never going to end. It also made some of the boys realise how JiHo not being there didn’t make much of a difference visually. Realising how JiHo literally wasn’t in any of the unit groups besides the OT24 group dance and some B-tracks which were never going to be performed live. But not having her there did still hurt, it just didn’t feel right.

Mark had checked up on Dream before heading back to his dorm. They all seemed to be coping with the aftermath differently. The unit’s leader wanted to help, but he also knew the boys were old enough to figure it out by themselves. This wasn’t just a small fight and he didn’t want to get too involved.

At WayV’s dorm things weren’t much better. JiHo had found her place in Ten’s bed, the older boy coming to check on her every so often. She didn’t really talk and at a glance she looked like she was going to be just fine, but the next morning she looked horrible. She didn’t get a wink of sleep and Ten knew, but whenever he tried talking to her she just shrugged him off.

They had breakfast together, Lucas and Yangyang trying to cheer her up with some jokes and when she finally smiled for a second the taller one didn’t hesitate to attack her with a hug. “JiHo please talk to us.” He whined burying his head in the crook of her neck. The girl just sighed and continued playing with the food Kun had prepared for her. “Lucas, let her be for a second.” The oldest said patting Lucas on the shoulder. “Please eat something okay? You haven’t touched any of your food yet.” He tried to coax her into eating and she just nodded before taking her first bite.

There were two options: One, have Dream and JiHo fix their problems on their own accord and suffering the possibility that the fight would not be resolved for months. Which would in turn take a toll on their practise and sabotage their comebacks, team work and a lot more for the whole group. Or two, do like they always have. Involve themselves in their problems to try and fix it as a whole group.

As all of NCT gathered in the practise room, Taeyong had made the choice by himself. Mark had noticed someone wasn’t there yet. “Where’s the choreographer?” He asked and everyone started to notice as well. “He’s coming in 2 hours.” Taeyong said walking to the middle of the room. “Why are we here then? I could’ve gotten at least another hour of sleep.” Lucas whined which earned him a slap to the arm from Kun. “Sit down kids, we have some work to do.”

Everyone had gathered around Taeyong in a circle, all clearly confused. He then looked at the Dream members who all looked like they either had been crying for hours last night or if they just rolled out of bed after a horrible night of sleep. He motioned for them to sit in the middle of the circle with a finger. They all hesitantly moved over to where Taeyong pointed. The leader’s gaze than settled on JiHo, who surprisingly looked a lot less dead. Taeyong however knew she wasn’t doing so hot because of the updates he received from WayV ever since she decided to sleep over at their dorm.

Without having to say anything she sat down facing the Dream members, her eyes holding no emotion. “Isn’t this a bit unfair? 6 against 1?” She chuckled sarcastically. Taeyong rolled his eyes. “I think what’s unfair is that the fight between the seven of you is bringing down the whole team. Don’t you agree?” JiHo wasn’t one to raise her voice but the leader’s words just didn’t sit right with her. “Excuse me? You act like I did something wrong. I’m the one who got accused for something I didn’t do! I’m the one who had 6 people screaming at me, acting like I’m the bad guy here! And I saw it in your guys’ eyes yesterday that you were starting to think it was true! I-” She stopped herself when she noticed what she was doing. JiHo had stood up and was yelling at their leader, everyone shocked at the sudden (but not surprising) outburst. “I’m sorry.” She gritted her teeth before sitting down again.

Taeyong had to admit that it was wrong of him to act the way he did. JiHo clearly didn’t do anything wrong, but just because this was now a known fact and the misunderstanding had been cleared up, didn’t mean that the conflict was solved. There was still a lot of tension between the two parties and it wasn’t going to get better if they didn’t address it.

“JiHo we’re sorry-” Renjun started, but Haechan quickly interjected. “It’s all my fault. I just heard you talk to Johnny and heard Jisung’s name and then you started talking about a maknae and I just jumped to conclusions, I shouldn’t have. I should’ve asked, but I was too mad...” JiHo couldn’t make eye contact with any of the boys. Jisung spoke up. “I do trust you JiHo, it’s just that-” “How could you say that if you just believed Haechan anyway? You should’ve asked me first.” It was the first time JiHo’s voice had given in. She sounded so hurt and it made all the members feel horrible. “I know... I didn’t believe Haechan at first, but he also wouldn’t lie to me so I felt conflicted.” It was silent for a bit.

“I just felt like no one was on my side. At least you guys have each other...” The older boys couldn’t watch this anymore, it was such a stupid thing to fight about but the implications were so much more serious. The lack of trust, feeling lonely even while having so many people around. “JiHo, you know I knew the truth.” Johnny spoke up. She didn’t dare to look at him. “We didn’t know that you felt that way.” Jaemin added. “But you just got mad at me without telling me why. Starting to ignore me and look at me like you hated me, and no one said anything. And I know it was so obvious that there was something going on but no one tried bringing it up. You all just waited for someone to explode and for us to start fighting.” JiHo was now talking to the older members. “I- I don’t know, I just felt like I wasn’t part of NCT anymore-” With that Haechan, Jisung and Renjun started bawling their eyes out. The damage they did was even worse than they initially thought. “Don’t say that.” Renjun’s voice hitched. He inhaled deeply after each word as if he forgot how to breath.

The other boys had to do everything they could to hold themselves back from going to comfort the younger members, they still had to talk everything through. Some of them even started crying themselves, wondering how it had gotten so far that one of their members didn’t feel like part of the group anymore.

“It’s almost obvious SM doesn’t want me to be in the group anymore. But I couldn’t help but feel like you guys didn’t want me either after what happened yesterday.” The girl had yet to cry even though she sounded so close to breaking down. She had never cried in front of everyone before, always showing her strongest side.

A quivering call of her name left Jisung’s lips. He called out for his precious noona, asking what he could do to make her forgive him. The room stayed quiet for a while, everyone anticipating JiHo’s answer, but it never came. Haechan looked at her with hopeful eyes, moving closer cautiously before resting his hand on hers situated in her lap. Her breath hitched and her body jerked slightly at the sudden touch, causing everyone else to jump a little as well. “I’m sorry you couldn’t trust me-” She choked on her own mixture of words and tears. Haechan immediately pulled the girl into his chest, stroking the girl’s hair as he desperately rambled to her. “It’s not your fault”, “I’m sorry”, “I should’ve talked to you”, “Please don’t leave us”. The sentences became a jumbled mess between his painful cries.

It had become too much for everyone. They were either fighting back tears or openly crying, excusing themselves from the room. Taeyong looked down at the mess he had made, but when he saw all the Dream members surround JiHo and Haechan to apologise and tell her how she was in fact a member of NCT and nothing was going to change that, that’s when the leader realised it might not have been so bad after all. The girl had finally opened up and though just this moment alone wasn’t going to solve everything, at least they knew how she felt and it was a great starting point.

Jisung had taken JiHo’s hands in his holding them tightly as he apologised through tears. She gulped at seeing the younger boy like this and pried one of her hands out of his grip. This caused Jisung to let out a sob as he looked at the girl with a shocked expression, mind racing again with the thought she was still mad at him. She quickly placed her hand on top of his own, her thumb caressing the top of his wrist. “It’s okay Jisung-ah. I would never talk bad about you okay?” She looked at him with red cheeks and teary eyes, still trying to stay strong. He nodded quickly just staring back at her, still apologising.

An hour had passed with the younger members talking things out a bit more, JiHo still felt hurt by their actions the day prior, but she also understood where they were coming from. Dream really cared for each other so it was nice to see them have each other's backs. Jisung had now glued himself to the girl, following her closely everywhere she went until Taeyong had called her to talk for a second. He had to clarify to the youngest that he meant talking to JiHo in private, which caused him to hesitantly walk away.

“I’m sorry JiHo, I didn’t mean to make it look like you caused the fight. I also didn’t mean things to become so messy and most importantly make you feel like you weren’t part of NCT. I did a horrible job as a leader-” The girl interrupted him with a hug, knocking the air out of his lungs. “I know you didn’t mean it. I should’ve told you how I felt earlier. But everything is going to be fine now. Okay?” Her whisper made him feel so much more calm. “Okay.” He answered placing his arms over her shoulders and pulling her closer.

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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loudstan · 3 years

Text

Epiphany

A collection of NCT werewolf AU stories.

Doyoung (pt.1) (pt.2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4) (pt. 5) (pt. 6) (pt. 7) (pt. 8)

Summary: The wolf population kept decreasing and those who were left had a hard time trying to fit into society. Sure, people didn’t consider them as dangerous as vampires, but wolves could still sense some hostility every time they did as much as go for a walk in a public place. Thanks to wolves’ natural magical abilities, NCT (one of the remaining packs) found a safe place among witches in a town where no one knew their secret, allowing some members to finally get a job, study and interact with others without fear of being rejected.

Life seems to finally be peaceful for them… except that wolves have needs, and one of those needs is finding their mate.

Pairing: Werewolf! Doyoung x Witch! female reader

Warnings: future smut

You had just finished drying your hair when you heard someone knocking on the door. Your heart skipped a beat knowing very well who it was since Taeyong had called to warn you, but you quickly collected yourself before opening the door.

There was Doyoung panting against the door frame, some strands of his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. As soon as your eyes met you felt the urge to throw yourself into his arms and forget about what you and Taeyong had been working on, but your pride stopped you and reminded you you deserved better.

“What do you want?”, you tried to sound as cold as possible.

Doyoung, on the other hand, looked fragile. His eyes were glassy as if he was trying his best not to cry, his body quivered but stayed glued to the same spot and his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, everything he had planned to say long forgotten.

“Oh”, was all he could articulate with you scent suffocating him but you remained stoic.

“Is that all?”

At this the pair of dark eyes that had been scanning your bare legs, looked back up and got lost into yours.

“Y/n…”, he whispered, closing his eyes and smiling weakly. “Y/n, y/n, y/n.”

And then his body collapsed, falling unconscious on the floor.

“W-what are you doing?”,you asked and when he didn’t reply you started to panic. “Doyoung?” you insisted kneeling next to him and slapping his face gently but he still wouldn’t react, the only vital sign coming from his body being his chest rising and falling agitatedly.

Your heart dropped at the sight.

Was he ill? Was it something serious? Should you call someone?

All those questions invaded your mind as you dragged his limp body to the couch and grabbed your phone to call Taeyong.

“Hello? Y/n are you okay?”, his voice sounded hysterical.

“He’s not moving, Taeyong. He won’t wake up,” you stumbled over your words.

“Doyoung? That’s weird, he seemed to be fine ear-,” there was a long pause and then you could hear a lot of movement from the other end of the line, like Taeyong was looking desperately for something. “Y/n, does he have a fever?”

You immediately touched his forehead and your concern grew even more.

“He’s burning! Oh, god...What do I do?”

“...Is he-?”, Taeyong coughed awkwardly. “I-is he hard?”

You stared at your phone wide-eyed, almost offended that he would ask something like that in this situation.

“Excuse me?”, you scoffed, but instinctively looked at Doyoung’s crotch and “...Yes, he is.”

“Well, fuck.”

“Is this his heat?”

“Yep.”

“Can’t he take suppressants?”

“He did”, Taeyong sighed. “I just found both his and my suppressants boxes in his room, almost empty. Suppressants lose their efficiency when a werewolf meets their mate because ideally that would mean they have someone to go through their heat with now, but since you two are not really together I assume he has been stuffing himself with these.”

“What?! Isn’t that dangerous?”, you asked. Behind you, Doyoung was starting to regain some consciousness, letting out some whimpers.

“Suppressants aren’t dangerous for us.If anything, his hormones got tired of being shut down and his body is rejecting the suppressants in order to claim his mate. He’ll just be hella horny and in a bit of pain, but he will be fine after it wears off.”

“Oh okay uh…”, you swallowed nervously. “Can someone come pick him up?”

“Uh...Sorry, y/n. but that’s not possible.”

“If not you, then one of your brothers! You mentioned you had many-”

“That’s not the problem. Any of us would be more than willing to help him. Always,” he said and you could sense the honesty in his voice. “But no other male should be anywhere near a werewolf’s mate during their heat. If I or any of my brothers went there, it would lead to immediate confrontation.”

“Then...what do I do?”, you asked over the sound of Doyoung shifting against the rough material of the couch.

“...What do you want to do?”,Taeyong asked.

“Me? I’m really bad at taking care of ill people. Should I get a damp cloth to reduce the fever?”

You heard a long sigh and a low curse before Taeyong spoke again.

“A heat is not a regular fever. It can only get better with a)suppressants, which we established are useless now, b)waiting a few days until it’s over, which will be very painful for him since he’ll be near his mate but can’t have her, or c)by having sex.”

“Having s-sex?” you repeated dumbly. Your face heated up, remembering how good it felt to make out with him and how fast he made you cum without taking anything off. But yeah, he left you there without a word, and that hurt. “No.There’s a reason I asked you to help me break the bond. The potion is ready.”

“Then you have that option too, although I still wish you didn’t do that,” he mumbled the last part almost too low but you still caught it. “You can watch him suffer for a week instead-”

“A week?!”

“Normally it would take three to four days for his heat to be over, but he has been suppressing it for months, so it may take even longer and, as I said, we can’t pick him up until it’s over.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, or you could fuck,” he said like it was the logical thing to do.

“No!”

“What is there to lose, Y/n? He already marked you, didn’t he? It can’t get worse than that, so why not just give it a try? You are very attracted to him, don’t even try to lie to me. You can at least help him get rid of the heat sooner so you both can have a proper conversation and if by then you still haven’t changed your mind you can use the potion.”

He was right, you would be lying if you said you didn’t want him. You shivered thinking about how he would feel inside of you and pressed your thighs together looking for friction.

“I don’t know, Taeyo-”

Before you got to finish your sentence, your phone was removed from your hand. You turn around to see Doyoung standing over you, staring at your phone in his hand, before turning it off and throwing it to the couch.

“Don’t talk to other males when your mate is right here.”

#doyoung #doyoung smut #nct doyoung #kim doyoung #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct imagines #nct drabbles

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neo-culture-taste · 3 years

Text

Abeilles au Printemps - Ch 9

Alternate Title: Bees in Spring

Genre: AU, romance, drama, comedy, smut, who’s the daddy

Pairing: NCT x Y/N (fem)

Rating: Mostly mature themes/ language. Smutty chapters will be labeled 🐝.

Word Count: 11500+

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

OMFG. I can’t believe it has been an entire year since we posted the last chapter. 2020 was truly a mess, lmao. We’re SO sorry we made you wait that long! We had everything written and then we started adding and changing stuff to the point where we had to rewrite the entire thing. But it’s here now! And you’re in for a WILD ride. - D

“So is this how the rich and famous live?” commented Yuta as he drove down the wide street, passing various mansions in the neighborhood. “I bet there's a pool in every backyard and everyone owns their own boat.”

“Probably,” you responded weakly. You were too busy trying to pull the skin off from the sides of your fingers. A nasty habit you had since you were younger, which only manifested when you were extremely anxious. You had no reason to be stressed, right? Jaehyun would explain everything and everything would be fine, wouldn’t it?

You motioned for Yuta to make a right at the stop sign. “Are we leaving the neighborhood?” he asked you.

“No, not really,” you answered, forcing yourself to put your hands at your sides so you wouldn't pick at them anymore. “He just owns more land than his neighbors. He likes his privacy.”

“I completely understand. That’s how I would be if I had all this money. I’d even have my own little pond of ducks,” he joked. “They’d be free to walk the grounds and they’d just add to the beautiful and serene scenery that I would curate for my land.”

You rolled your eyes at Yuta before sitting up straighter in your seat. “Speaking of ducks, drive slowly and don’t run over Quackers and Mr. Bill.” Right as you said that, two ducks waddled in front of Yuta’s car, making their way through the iron gates to their pond on the other side.

“He actually has ducks?!”

“Per my request, yes. Our evening walks at the park during the early part of my pregnancy also consisted of feeding the ducks. I enjoyed it so much I joked about him making a pond and having ducks of his own.”

“And so he dug a hole in his yard and purchased you two feathered creatures?!”

You slouched back into your seat. “Five, actually. The other three should be around here somewhere. They came with the ring, the beautiful nursery, and the wall he tore down for my walk in closet.”

Yuta almost slammed on his breaks in shock. “The wall he--Woah, wait he already built you a nursery?”

Sighing heavily, you turned your head to look forlornly at the swaying motion of Mr. Bill's feathery butt as he walked into the distance. “Yeah…”

“And now you want to barge in this man’s house and accuse him of what exactly?” he asked as he pulled to a smooth stop right outside the Jung estate gate. “You said you’d explain on the way, but you haven’t breathed a single word.”

Well, you were confronting Jaehyun about Mark being arrested for a car that supposedly belonged to Jaehyun and not his cousin Taeil being reported stolen, secret photos following the every move of you and your male friends since earlier that day, and the relationship between those photographs and those of Kun cheating while overseas. There was no way you could explain any of that to Yuta in the short amount of time you had between now and seeing Jaehyun.

“It’s complicated,” was all you told him.

“Tch. Complicated,” Yuta clicked his tongue. “You have a giant envelope of evidence you’ve been trying to hide from view since I picked you up. I’m a lawyer, too, remember?”

“Yuta, please.”

“Let me be a voice of reason before you do something you’ll regret." Yuta rested his chin in his palm as he propped his elbow onto his armrest. "You just became his fiancée only what? A week ago? There’s probably a logical explanation--”

“Thanks for the concern Yuta, but I have to do this if I want to stay engaged.”

Yuta ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, and he drummed his fingers of his other hand on the steering wheel while he thought. “I won’t say anything more. But just promise me you’ll be careful. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t hesitate to do."

Ha! You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped you. You leaned over to kiss Yuta on the cheek and gave him a somewhat reassuring smile. “This just might be the day that I do.”

His brows furrowed. “Should I call the cops?” he responded with evident concern in his voice.

You rolled your eyes and proceeded to fish for Jaehyun’s electronic gate key out of your pants pocket. But then...your attention quickly turned to the large iron gate slowly opening on its own.

“I thought this was supposed to be a surprise mission?” Yuta lifted himself away from the armrest and took his foot off the break, then proceeded to pull through the gate towards the front of the mansion.

“It is. I didn’t call beforehand. He is obviously watching us on the monitor in his kitchen. Fucking creep.”

“Y/N! That’s your fiancé you’re talking about!”

You shook your head. “He has to be guilty of something since he’s not coming outside to greet me.”

“Right...” Yuta pulled into the circular driveway in front of the mansion and put the car in park. There was only one other car in the circular driveway and you recognized it to be the same make and model of Jeno’s car. He must have driven straight there after dropping Mark off at your place. No telling what conversations were being had within those walls. You imagined how lucky Mark had been to have Jeno in the right place at the right time after he was pulled over by the police. Was it a coincidence or was it on purpose?

Theories continued to fill your head as your eyes shifted, and they ultimately landed on Jeno’s license plate. “That’s…” You rummaged through your envelope and pulled out the photo of Kun and examined the sticky note attached to it. Doyoung’s scribbles matched the license plate in front of you. “Oh my--“

“Woah, who’s the hot chick with Kun?” Blurted Yuta as he snatched the photo out of your trembling hands.

“Give it back, Yuta!” You screeched in desperation. You tried to grab it from him but he pulled it out of your reach and batted your hands away.

“Where is he, at a resort?” You tried to grab it once more but he swatted you away again. “Why is Yangyang taking photos of this no name?”

"Yuta!" And he blocked you again.

“Why does this sticky note say ‘you don’t know who else he’s watching?'”

"Please!" And again.

“With a license plate number that matches the car in front--” You finally succeeded in snatching the photo from his grip and put it back inside the envelope, then let out a heavy breath, thankful that Yuta had only seen the picture of Kun and not the one with him and his son at the ER. “Y/N you need to tell me what’s going on,” Yuta demanded. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I’m starting to get an idea of what’s happening and I really hope I'm wrong.” You started to ask about his assumptions but decided not to, because you were too afraid to get confirmation for your own thoughts. “But if I’m not,” Yuta continued, “do you want me to come in with you? I won’t say anything, but I’ll be there to support you in this apparent kerfuffle you’re about to have with Jaehyun.” And fight him if he had to. Yuta didn’t care how much Jaehyun's face was worth if he ended up hurting you in any way.

You took a deep breath and shook your head. “No. I have to do this alone. But you can help this pregnant lady out of your car.”

“Suit yourself.” Yuta got out and went around to help you out of his car and straighten you onto your feet.

“Please just stay here. If I’m not out in exactly twenty minutes come and get me?”

“You’re asking me?” No, you weren’t. The inflection at the end of your sentence was because you had just realized how unprepared you were to confront Jaehyun. You were still in your pajamas for crying out loud. All the tension had built up on the way there, and all the questions you had for him began to mix with your feelings for him. You weren’t exactly sure how you were going to pull this off without breaking down.

“No. I’m telling you,” you corrected Yuta.

“Understood.”

Yuta helped you walk up the front steps before turning around and walking back to his car. You tugged on the doorknob and, like you figured, it was unlocked. You slowly opened the door and shut it behind you. The chilly air of the beautifully decorated foyer ran down your spine and left behind a trail of prickly ice crystals. It was eerily quiet. You took a left towards the kitchen and ran your hands across the granite countertop. The same countertop where the homemade cookies he made for you sat on the night you had welcomed him back home. You continued walking and stepped into the living room where the two of you made love countless times on his ridiculously expensive furniture.

Deciding not to continue searching on the first floor, you made your way to his staircase. The last time you walked up those stairs was the day of your baby shower--the day he proposed to you and presented you with a fully furnished nursery, a broken wall, and some gotdamn ducks. You were afraid of what would be waiting for you inside that room this time.

“Okay, little bee. Hold on tight.” You patted your stomach before you gripped the railing, ready to start your ascent. But you hadn’t made it two steps up when Jeno suddenly came flying down the stairs.

“Hey, Ms. Y/N!” He seemed to be in a rush and didn’t even stop to properly greet you. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you managed to ask the young man before he made himself scarce.

He stopped in his haste and turned around to face you. “My former employer is in the nursery as you probably already guessed,” he informed you frantically.

You were more than taken aback by his choice of words. “Former employer? Wait, Jeno, what happened?”

“I have to go. The moving van will be here bright and early in the morning, so I have to make sure everything is packed and ready to be moved out of the pool house.”

“He fired you? And kicked you out--”

“I have to go, ma’am. I’m sorry it all had to come down to this. I really enjoyed having you as an acquaintance the past few years. And I’m really sorry about Mark. He wasn’t supposed to get mixed into all of this.”

“Mixed into what, Jeno?” You gripped his arm, stopping him from fleeing your presence. “Please, I have to know.”

Jeno looked you in the eyes and clearly saw the desperation he had already picked up in your voice. Guiltily, he averted his gaze downward, but he suddenly stopped breathing when his eyes landed on the envelope you were holding at your side. He didn't know exactly what was inside your envelope, but he had a pretty strong idea. “I have to go. Please send my love to the baby,” he said and pulled his arm out of your grasp, continuing his hasty retreat through the house.

You took a deep breath and continued the ascent towards the second floor with more determination in your steps. Reaching the top of the staircase, you turned and walked toward the nursery. The door was slightly ajar, a sliver of light peeking through. You put your hand on the doorknob before readjusting your posture and reclaiming your confidence. You opened the door only to be greeted by...no one. Confused and thankful nothing jumped out to scare you, you turned every which way until you were dizzy, thinking you had somehow missed the six foot man in the beautifuly decorated nursery.

“Jaehyun?” You called out but there was no reply. You walked further into the room towards the crib. You braced yourself along the railing, the smoothness reminding you that Jaehyun built this himself with his own two hands. Two hands attached to a warm body that also proposed and promised you a lifetime of happiness. You should feel happy in this room like you did a week ago. But now you felt different. Off. “What is wrong with me?”

What were you there for exactly? What were you trying to accuse him of? What you were thinking he did could all have been something your mind made up because you were actually too scared to finally settle down and commit to someone. It was entirely plausible. You did this in all your relationships. You ran away from Taeil, from Doyoung, Taeyong, and Kun. Jaehyun wasn't special. The only thing he did differently was propose to you before you could escape. But you actually truly did want to stay this time. And maybe that was why you were so afraid. You were afraid of finding out something you actually had to run away from.

Tired of being in your thoughts and standing on your increasingly aching feet, you called out for him. “Jaehyun, we need to talk--“

“Let’s talk.”

Startled, you dropped the envelope inside the crib before turning to face your fiancé in the doorway with a rod in his hand adorned with bumblebee patterned curtains. He was wearing a fitted, plain black t-shirt— one of several in his closet, jeans and canvas sneakers. Damn, he looked good. Simple, but so good. And you looked like a mess of a creature before him in your pajamas, house slippers, and wild bed hair.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked after taking in your tousled appearance. “What are you doing here? Did Jeno let you in?” He placed the rod against the wall before walking up to you and grabbing your hands in his. He led you to the rocking chair, ushering you to sit while he crouched down in front of you. “Today has been very weird. First I had to pick you up from the emergency room. Then the release of my new movie was delayed by the studio. Jeno suddenly quit. And now you're here out of nowhere. Not that you being here is strange or anything. I love your company—wait did you drive here? Didn’t the doctor say—“

“Jeno quit?” you interrupted his rambling. “You didn’t fire him?” With the way Jeno ran down the stairs, you were pretty sure he was running away from something--or someone. But Jaehyun’s features gave off a look of concern and slight offense that you would think he’d fire Jeno for any possible reason.

“No, he quit on his own. He said the stress of being my assistant was finally starting to weigh him down. I guess having to deal with your brother getting arrested wasn't exactly something he wanted to experience.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you remembered exactly why you were there in Jaehyun's home in the first place. “Why did you have my brother arrested? And why didn’t you let him call me from the police station? I may be pregnant, but Mark is still my brother. Not yours. I could have handled the situation.”

Jaehyun cupped your face in an attempt to calm the rising anger he could see wanting to boil up inside you. “I was going to go over to your place, actually. Sit down face to face and explain how Mark got involved in this silly feud between my cousin and I. But my agent called to give me ‘bad news’ and then Jeno came shortly after giving me his less than 24-hour notice.”

“I should have been a higher priority, Jaehyun. I’m your fiancée!” You all but screamed in your heightening temper and pushed his hands away from your face. That probably sounded selfish on your end, but considering your reason for showing up to his house unannounced, it needed to be said. You hadn’t planned on blowing your top so quickly, but every thought inside your mind was racing, making it hard for you to stay level.

His hands went down and gripped the armrests of the rocking chair. “I know and I’m sorry. But you’re here now, so please let me explain.” You didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. You just wanted him to admit whatever your brain was accusing him of so you could leave and be heartbroken alone in your bedroom. But of course you said okay, anyway, since you literally had no other choice but to listen to him. “I truly did not know Mark was borrowing cars from Taeil. If I had known that information beforehand, I would never have put him or Taeil in that position. Mark was simply an unexpected factor in this ongoing tit for tat game of family rivalry.”

“Ongoing?” After he proposed to you, Jaehyun had promised you that he would talk to his cousin about everything. So why was this beef over you between the cousins still unsquashed? “Jae, what does that even mean if you were the one who bought him the cars in the first place?”

“It means that my cousin is a leech and I finance him in order to keep him functioning.” Your eyes went wide, but you didn’t say anything so he continued. “Taeil’s weak attempt to separate us with his words spoken at the baby shower did not sit right with me. So since he decided to bite the hand that literally feeds him, I felt petty and decided to report both my vehicles that I allow him to drive as stolen.”

Petty? There was nothing petty about that at all! It was straight up mean! Almost cruel! How could Jaehyun do that to his own cousin--his family? He wasn’t unprovoked, but nothing Taeil did or said deserved for him to get thrown in jail.

“How could you do that to a member of your own family, Jaehyun? If you were to get mad at me, would you do something like that, too?” Your mind had already wanted to make him out to be a bad person if it would help you confront him, but there he was convincing you himself.

“What? Y/N, no! Please don’t make this more than what it is,” he pleaded, squeezing the armrests tighter. “Taeil and I have our issues, and I know I went too far. But I would never hurt you like that.” You didn't want to believe him, but the sincerity in his eyes instantly calmed you against your will. “In hindsight it was not the right thing to do. I admit it. But I truly didn’t know Mark was using the cars and had been for some time apparently. And if Mark needs a car, why didn’t you just tell me? I have plenty he could borrow. They’re all nicer than what Taeil was rolling around in anyway.”

Your eyes narrowed, the brief reassurance you felt from him fleeting at his flippant remark. “Mark and Taeil have had a relationship with one another since way before you came into the picture,” you snapped. “Taeil knew Mark when he was still in diapers. He looks up to Taeil like an older brother. Whenever Mark needs brotherly advice, Taeil is always there to lead or guide him. I was happy their relationship picked back up once Taeil moved back here. He’s done more for my little brother than anyone else has. And to think that you almost put that in jeopardy.”

Seemingly having touched a nerve, Jaehyun's nostrils flared slightly when he sighed. “I apologize, Y/N. I really am sorry. The charges were dropped and Mark has nothing on his record.” Your eyes followed his hands as he let go of the armrests and reconnected them with yours. “I promise I will make it up to Mark. And you. We can move on from this.”

Move on from this? Like it was just that simple? Your brother was handcuffed and thrown into the back of a cop car for no reason. It was something totally preventable if Jaehyun hadn’t been an asshole in the first place. And even if he had known Mark was driving the cars, he would have just put a report out on a day he knew Taeil was driving one of them. It would have been easy for him to figure out. Taeil wasn’t that hard to follow.

To follow…

Your eyes quickly shot back up to meet his, startling him back a bit. The words you spoke next came out in a sizzling string, climbing their way out from being forced into the dark corners of your mind. “I find it really hard to believe that you had no knowledge of Taeil letting Mark borrow the cars when you seem to keep tabs on everyone else connected to me.”

You hadn’t wanted to outright accuse him like that in case you were wrong about everything, but the anger growing inside you had finally taken over. You couldn’t take it back. And now the thread that held together your relationship with your fiancé was being tested.

Jaehyun’s mouth opened and closed in shock as his eyes flickered with confusion and something else you couldn’t quite place. You wanted to say it was fear. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his tone a cross between offended and worried.

You stood up from the rocking chair, pushing him out of the way to move towards the crib. You retrieved the envelope you dropped inside of it and shoved it into his hands. Standing to his feet, he looked at the envelope like it was an unidentified object never before seen on planet earth. And then his eyes went blank.

He walked over to the other side of the room and simply placed the envelope on the fully stocked bookshelf without any attempt to open it. Aghast, your eyebrows went high into your hairline. “So you’re just not going to open it?”

“Yes,” he said too simply.

Your fists balled at your sides. “And why not?”

“Don’t need to see what I already know is in there.”

You hiccuped. A premature sob getting stuck inside your throat.

“Didn’t think it would show up again after Jeno lost it.”

The room was spinning. You needed to grab onto the railing of the crib for support. Jeno? No, you had received the envelope from Doyoung who had supposedly received it from Winwin. Wait! Was that why Jeno’s eyes grew wide when he looked at it on the staircase? Was this the reason he quit his job so suddenly? Nothing was adding up. “H-how do you know the contents belong to Jeno?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Are there photos of Kun and some random woman in there?”

“Yes,” you answered him shakily.

“Jeno’s photos.”

Eyes glazed over, you stared at your fiancé standing across from you as your train of thought went back to the dark edges of your mind. For a moment you felt weak, and you thought your legs were going to give out beneath you. Jaehyun had thought the same thing, for he was at your side in an instant with a hand on your back, coaxing you to sit back down in the rocking chair.

“No. I’m standing,” you said firmly, your strength returning with full force, reignited by his audacity to touch you right now. You jerked away from him and walked over to the bookshelf. You aggressively grabbed the envelope off it and opened it before him. You held up the photos of Kun and the woman before throwing them down onto the floor. You pulled out the rest of the photos taken earlier today and threw those down as well before balling up the entire envelope in your hands. “Make this make sense, Jaehyun. Make it all make sense!” you yelled at him then threw the wad of paper at his chest, where it bounced off and unceremoniously landed at his feet.

Unflinching, he swallowed thickly as he studied the contents of the envelope on the floor. “The envelope did feel a bit thick. I now see why Jeno quit so suddenly.”

Jeno, Jeno, Jeno! Why did this all keep going back to Jeno? “What are you saying,” you demanded slowly.

“He was sloppy. Or careless. Maybe he did it on purpose.” He toed one of the photos on the floor that had been facing downwards and turned it over with his shoe. “I see he had these taken today. They never crossed my desk, but somehow ended up in your hands. You were never supposed to see them.”

Your throat became tight and you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Involuntarily, you sat back down onto the rocking chair as your body betrayed you. You were weak. You could no longer stand because he had just admitted it in less than so many words. It wasn’t a complete confession, but it was all you needed to confirm what you desperately didn’t want to believe. You didn’t like the sound of where any of this was going, but you still wanted him to continue, to say he had a perfectly good and logical explanation for why Jeno would have all of those photos taken. But you couldn’t say anything, not immediately. You were rendered speechless by the truth you so hopelessly wanted to deny.

“Jaehyun,” you said barely above a whisper. “I’m going to need a little more than that.” He looked at you, his eyes soft with the unspoken words he saw mirrored inside your own--with the fear of knowing how this was going to end. “If you don't want to start with the ones from today,” you continued, “then start with Kun. Just tell me something.”

He took a breath and ran his hands through his hair. A gesture that forewarned he was about to unload a massive amount of unpleasant information. “Kun didn’t deserve you. He only appeared to be faithful to you," he said when he began. But of course, this was something you already knew--facts already revealed to the both of you outside of Ten's clinic the day of the paternity tests. "The woman in the photo was a fling from his past," he continued. "They started hooking up again towards the tail end of your relationship.”

A fling from Kun's past? You knew Kun had been in other relationships before you, but the two of you made a point never to bring up past relationships while you were together. You didn't want to talk about your exes for obvious reasons, but what reasons did Kun have? From what you knew, Kun refused to be stuck in the past and always looked at what was in front of him--who was in front of him. But then again, what did you actually know about Kun other than what he showed you on the surface?

“And you became privy to this information how?” you asked Jaehyun. Obviously he had known for some time before the paternity testing since he was able to orchestrate having Kun's pictures taken.

“Remember our conference call last year when I asked you to review my contracts for the scripted series?”

“Yes.”

“Well Jeno caught sight of Kun dropping you off in front of your office building that same day he brought over the contracts. A kiss on the lips between the two of you and he figured you were an item.”

A deep frown set into your face and your head tilted to the side in bafflement. In your head, you put together what Jaehyun had said and what you already knew and came up with your own conclusion. “So Jeno told you that I had a boyfriend, you became insanely jealous, and then decided to start following Kun around, waiting for a perfect moment to expose him as unfaithful?”

“Not exactly." He took note of your skepticism denoted by your stance and quirked eyebrow. “I was happy you found someone. I figured the moments we shared before I left was the extent of our friendship and physical relationship. Especially since we hadn’t decided on if we were a 'we'. I truly was glad you found someone to be with," he reiterated his first statement while continuing to look straight into your eyes. "I was a little sad when I found out, but I knew that I should have worked harder to be with you or just have you wait for me. I had come to terms with losing you. I was going to move on. But then Jeno went for his regularly scheduled dental appointment and coincidentally his dentist that day was Dr. Qian.”

“You’re lying,” you said before your brain fully caught up with what was going on. It was too good to be true--too easy. Did he actually think you were going to fall for that? There was no way Kun could have fallen into Jaehyun’s hands so easily.

“I really wish I was. Jeno usually sees the other dentist that works with Kun, but that day his partner was out and Kun was in charge of all the clients.”

You were suspicious of his answer, but you remained silent with confirmation that you wanted him to continue given by your facial expression.

“Jeno, being the diligent assistant that he was, prodded for information regarding your relationship--without me knowing about any of this yet, I might add. But when Kun told him about the hot date with his girlfriend that same night, imagine his surprise when Kun named a woman that wasn’t you.”

Heat radiated through your body once more as you processed his words. “If you knew about him, then why did you keep that from me, Jaehyun? I could have gotten out of that relationship a long time ago!” The volume of your voice raised with every word. You couldn't fathom why he would do that to you. Everything that happened up until now could have been avoided had he just told you when he found out. But instead, purposefully or not, he wronged you by keeping it a secret.

“I had every intention of telling you," he said, holding his arms open in surrender. "I just didn’t know how to do it. If I told you then, you would have accused me of snooping like you are now. Or you would have gotten mad at me and said I was trying to come between your relationship or something, like lying to win you over. And you seemed happy with him, so why would I ruin that for you? I was stuck between multiple options.” He let his hands fall back to his sides in exasperation.

“So instead of telling me, you decided to take matters upon yourself anyway and have the man followed by your henchman, Jeno and Yangyang, all the way to his fake convention tour?” you interrogated him. Jaehyun finally broke the eye contact he held with you by looking down at the floor and rubbed his neck. The guilt etched onto his face was not being masked one bit. Frustrated by his behavior, you reached out to him and yanked him closer to where you sat by his other hand. “Talk, dammit.”

He sighed and forced himself to look at you again, and swallowed thickly before continuing. “It was actually...an all expense paid vacation purchased by me.”

You let go of his hand, stunned into silence as your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes held so much anguish and disgust. Disgust directed at him. It pained him to see it--to acknowledge that he was the one to make you look at him that way. He knew he had royally fucked up everything he was trying to build with you, and the only thing he could do in this situation that he caused was to completely come clean. “I figured that if I sent Kun away, I could come home and tell you everything I found out about him. And when you decided to leave him--”

“You would already be there to put my broken heart back together,” you finished for him. There was no point in sugar coating it, but it sounded so much harsher when you said it out loud. His face flushed with shame. He looked so sorry--so pitifully guilty. You had every impulse to get up and slap him right then, but you didn’t. Instead, you let yourself speak freely. “That was your master plan? To set Kun up so you could swoop in and fix me like I’m some kind of broken object?”

“No, Y/N, I--”

“I can’t believe you of all people would do this, Jaehyun.”

“I didn’t do it alone,” he disclosed in a panicked attempt to deflect some of the blame.

You wanted to slap him again for even trying. “Yeah, Jeno. I’m sure he did a lot following your orders--”

“It was Winwin, too. It was his idea.”

You frowned, confused. You had momentarily forgotten that Winwin was involved with all of this. It was his idea? That would explain the way he acted in court earlier that day. And you did recall Winwin saying that he was the one who sent Kun on the fake trip. Now that you thought about it, what Winwin had said in court sounded a lot like what Jaehyun had just told you. But how? You had only met Winwin when you began dating Kun. Which meant…

“How long have you known Winwin?”

Jaehyun took another deep breath. He seemed to do that everytime he was about to hit you with more unpleasant information. “Winwin was my assistant before Jeno. Before I met you. He quit because he couldn’t handle the job anymore. He ended up becoming a travel agent because that was all he could find. We’re still friends and we met up from time to time. I told him about you one day. About us. That I wanted us to be serious. And when I told him your name, he said he already knew you and that he already knew about Kun. So, I elicited his help and together we sent Kun on that phony trip.”

No thoughts. Head Empty.

He already knew Winwin before you ever met either of them? The two of them were close enough with each other and became close enough to you to come up with this ridiculous plan to blackmail Kun? It was a really dumb way to avenge your honor. And you couldn’t tell if you were mad or happy after hearing all of what they did. You were...conflicted. Very. Conflicted.

“I..this explains a lot and so little at the same time,” you managed to say coming out of your stupor. “I would have never guessed the two of you were once friends. The way you hid it from me...wow. Did you give Winwin acting advice?” you asked him bitterly.

“We never stopped being friends. He was willing to expose what type of man Kun really was so he played along as best as he could. We both thought we were doing the right thing. We just went about it in the wrong way. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” He looked at your hand, wanting so badly to reach out and hold it, but he knew you wouldn’t let him touch you right now. So instead he turned around and faced the wall on the opposite side of the room as he continued trying to exonerate himself. “In hindsight I should have just called you and told you. Whatever your decision would have been I would have supported it and moved on.” He walked toward the wall he was facing and placed his hand against it to support himself through his speech. “I truly thought I was doing the right thing. If I hadn’t screwed up the timing then my blackmail plot would have worked, haha...” He laughed after he said it, but there was no feeling in it whatsoever. “But then again it wouldn’t have mattered. I let Kun extend his vacation for a whole month with plans of getting back to you as quickly as I could so I could tell you all of this. I just needed him away from you for as long as possible so you would forget him by the time I came home.” He turned back around to face you. “But I was two months too late and already sixth in line. I didn’t think I would need to compete with any of the other guys for your heart.”

Sixth in line.

Suddenly, you found yourself gripping the armests of the rocking chair as your ears honed in on his last few sentences. You processed what he just said, repeating it a million times in your head until it finally clicked into place. You were a pretty sharp and smart individual. You earned several academic achievement awards and scholarships in college, graduated at the top of your class in Law school, passed the Bar on your first attempt, and you were highlighted as one of the top entertainment lawyers in your area. So your brain quickly connected the scattered dots after your eyes went down to the floor and you saw the other pictures you had carried inside the envelope.

Your eyes went back up to look at him. “You knew about them before you came back, too.”

“FuCk.”

Jaehyun turned around and walked out into the hallway with you following without warning. He had gotten caught in another lie and couldn’t face you anymore.

Now sitting alone inside the nursery, you felt your anxiety go through the roof. Your hands began to shake and your bottom lip trembled as you held back the urge to scream.

“Come back here...” It came out choked and barely loud enough for him to hear wherever he had gone. “Come back here, Jaehyun!” Your rage took over and you were able to yell for him as loudly as you could.

You got up from the rocking chair and made your way out into the hallway to search for your fleeing fiancé. Luckily, you didn’t have to walk far. He was pacing up and down the hallway between the nursery and the master bedroom. His back was tense at his shoulders and his fists were tightly clenched at his sides. You knew words weren’t going to stop him, so you walked to him and forcibly grabbed his shirt to turn him around and face you. When you did, you saw his eyes up close. They were red with tears begging to be let loose from his ducts. They spoke volumes. Within them you saw fear and shame doing a tantalizing dance together with immense sorrow.

Jaehyun hated it. He hated the way you looked at him like he was some kind of monster. Your eyes read back to him anger, betrayal, and genuine suffering. He couldn’t bear to have you look at him like that any longer and wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t a monster. But when he quietly spoke your name and tried to caress your shoulder, you immediately smacked his hand away.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” A tear ran down his face.

“No, Jaehyun! You do not get to cry!” You pushed him away from you by his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a bit. “How long? How long have you had YangYang following me around and secretly taking photos of me with the others? And don’t bullshit me. I want the whole truth!”

“Since I sent Kun away, okay! I knew you’d try and fill some preexistent void...” he trailed off and rubbed his wet chin, and then wiped his hand on his pants. “So I had you followed. What if you had gotten involved with someone similar to Kun? Or what if you found someone not good enough to be—“

“So the fuck what, Jaehyun! It’s my life and you had no reason to meddle with any part of it. Did you manipulate the other guys, too? Did you find a way to advertise phony trips to them, too?”

“No! I never meddled with anyone else, only Kun. At some point I realized those momentary flings were something you needed. A release. And by the time I had enough of your dick hopping with guys that weren’t me, who didn’t want to be with you long term except for maybe two of them, that’s when I decided to become the last participant in your ongoing sexcapade. I may have been sixth in line to get to your heart, but I was determined to be the first one you chose to share it with completely.”

“Then why didn’t you stop having me followed around?” You were teetering on the edge of an emotional cliff at this point. You felt a small kick inside you, your little bee signaling to you that if you kept this up she’d physically join you sooner rather than later, but you ignored her warning.

“I had every intention to have you not followed anymore. After I returned early from filming, I decided to try really hard to make you see that I was the man you wanted and needed. But then you ghosted me when you decided you wanted to try again with Kun. After all the things I did that you were unaware of, you still chose to be with him. I could have sent you the photos then, but I didn’t want to hurt you like that after you and I had just emotionally and physically reconnected. Plus if I did, we wouldn’t be having the conversation now after all that has happened between us this far.”

“Tch. Of course we wouldn’t be like we are now! Jaehyun, look at us! I wish you would have shown me those photos when you wanted to because I’d be done with both you and Kun. For good. It would have saved me a lot of tears and heartache.”

Delusional, he was genuinely shocked at what he heard about you being done with him. He thought he may have finally gotten through to you with his ridiculous explanations. “You don’t mean that, Y/N. We would have worked through it after you heard where I was coming from and my reasoning behind the decisions I was making--”

“I don’t mean it? You don’t think extortion and manipulation isn’t a reason to cut ties with someone?”

“Yes, but I had to do what needed to done--“

“You didn’t need to have me followed or exploit Kun. My life isn’t a movie where you can just play whatever role you feel like!”

Those words cut him deep, and his countenance flickered with pain. “Y/N, I’m sorry--“

“Stop saying that! Because if you meant it you wouldn’t still be having me followed to this day! You were the last person I thought would hurt me this much!”

You had not cried once up until this point, but the dam had finally been breached. Tears fell fast from your eyes as your heart shattered into a million pieces. You covered your face with your hands as you sobbed uncontrollably. Your baby was shifting inside you, agitated by all of the stress you were putting on her. And the thought of her safety was the only thing keeping you from falling to your knees.

“I never meant to hurt you like this...” He said as his own heart crumbled from watching himself single handedly destroy yours. “But...even after all I’ve done,” he continued, though you couldn’t imagine what more he could possibly have to say. “I’m still better than all the other guys you’re still hung up on.”

“I’m not hung up on anyone! I said yes to being your fiancée, remember?” You aggressively removed your hand adorned with the beautiful ring from your face and held it up to his. “I said yes without hesitation. But knowing what I know now, maybe I shouldn’t have. Even the fourth guy in line wouldn’t have hurt me this badly!”

Jaehyun’s eyes grew wide then narrowed before he quickly rushed a hand through his hair. It had become increasingly unkempt since the beginning of the argument. “Who, Taeyong? He wouldn’t know how to take care of you even if he tried. He can’t even properly manage his own bar.” You didn’t even ask how he knew which exact guy was fourth and let him continue talking. “This is actually his third attempt at a bar. His first two bars closed shortly after opening because of the shady dealings he was doing to keep the place afloat. He’s managed to make it past six months now because he was threatened again with more jail time. Plus you started sleeping with him again, and of course he believed he would have a life with you. So that forced him to start changing his way of living.”

“Well it’s good to know I’ve had such a positive impact on someone trying to turn their life around. At least he was honest with me about the type of person he was before and after he met me. All my other partners seem to have been more honest with me than you ever were.”

“Not the six foot phony who was one-third of your impromptu threesomes,” he said with a scoff before wiping any remaining tears he had with the back of his hand. “He’s engaged, Y/N. Has been for an entire year.”

“What?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah. The troll is afraid of commitment. But you already knew that considering you had multiple rendezvous with him while I was away. You were so devastated to hear Kun cheated on you after all this time, meanwhile you were the other woman for Johnny.”

“I didn’t know they were engaged! If I knew that I wouldn’t have slept with him again. But she knew about us before that. It’s not my fault he didn’t tell me everything about them.”

“Still didn’t make it right. Especially since you were also cheating on Kun at the same time.”

“I know it’s not right, Jaehyun! Why are you trying to redirect the conversation to make me look like a vile person?!” He didn’t have an immediate response for you, so you decided to keep going in your state of turbulent emotions. If he wanted to be nasty with his accusations, then you were going to be nasty right back. “Does Johnny intimidate you? You think that if you hadn’t come back or if I wasn’t with Kun, then maybe I would have ended up with Johnny instead? He is my type, after all, which is why I slept with him so many times. He’s tall, handsome, well-endowed, and has a dazzling smile just like you. Did you view him as your main competition?”

“Now you’re just saying stuff to try and piss me off,” he said with a set scowl on his face. “I don’t need to compete with someone who voluntarily cheats on his girlfriend. If the two of you had gotten together, he would have done the same thing to you and you would be in the same situation you were with Kun. Look around, Y/N. All those guys are terrible compared to me!”

You crossed your arms over your chest and shifted your weight onto one foot. “Fine. Since you seem to have some dirt on every single guy I slept with. Enlighten me. Tell me all the information you paid Jeno, YangYang, and whoever the fuck else you hired to find. Because I know you didn’t try to find anything out for yourself. Tell me all the secrets Yuta, Taeil, and Doyoung are keeping from me.”

Accepting your challenge, he began divulging facts without hesitation. “This is a secret not even Yuta knows, but he has another kid out there in the world. Maybe more, who knows. Jeno went above and beyond my authority and paid his ex-wife for the details. The kid’s mom had been trying to reach out to Yuta for a while, but the ex always intercepted and kept her quiet.” He saw your face fall, as you were very affected by this tidbit of information. To console you he said, “I’ll admit I created a monster with Jeno, and it wasn’t until Mark got arrested that he regained his good natured consciousness.”

“Why haven’t you disclosed this information to Yuta?”

“I wasn’t even supposed to know about that. Besides, you and the baby are my top priority. Not him.” Jaehyun leaned against the banister of the railing overlooking the first floor of his estate.

“I’m going to tell him,” you asserted.

“Suit yourself. I don’t care anymore,” he said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders.

“Well, what about Taeil? Did he steal your girlfriend when he was younger? Is that why you’re making sure he doesn’t end up with me either?”

“No.” He said affronted.

“Then why?”

He looked down as he ran his hand back and forth along the polished wood of the banister. “Because I hired the love of his life to be my lawyer, pursued her situationally and then romantically, maybe fathered her first born child, and then I told her I loved her and proposed.”

“That’s not what I asked nor is it new information. Shit, everyone at the baby shower could have figured that out—they probably did figure that out.”

“No, it’s not. But to add insult to injury, he can’t provide for you like I can. Taeil’s broke. He’s a terrible accountant that made some piss poor investments in the past. He has no money. No savings. Nothing tucked under his mattress. He drives my cars because he can’t afford to buy his own. His house? Mine. His gym membership? He’s a guest on my account. Those bad investments? Good investments now since I got my hands on them. The only reason he was able to successfully get you in bed was because he moved back here while I was busy filming my movie; before I could convince him otherwise. He was the one that recommended I hire you as my lawyer. He just didn’t expect that I’d steal your heart, too.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, but some things were starting to make sense. “So…,” you began as you spoke your thought process out loud. “When Taeil went to study abroad where you stayed, he lived with you and confided to you about our failed relationship. And then when you saw the opportunity, you sought me out and continued to pursue me even though you knew about his strong feelings towards me?” Jaehyun looked to you and said nothing, affirming your assumption. “You’re sick.”

“It sounds worse when you say it that way. But my feelings have always been genuine. I originally sought out your professionalism and just so happened to fall in love with you while we worked together. I didn’t fall in love with Taeil’s memory of a long lost girlfriend. I fell in love with a respectable, successful, and mature woman. Different time. Different place. Different feelings.”

You hated that he was right. He didn’t make himself fall in love with you just so he could steal you away behind Taeil’s back. He fell in love with you naturally. But as you have come to find out, he loved you a bit too much and was willing to do whatever it took to make him look like the better man.

Feeling your heart wavering, you squeezed your arms tighter against your chest before you asked him about the last person he supposedly had information on. “And Doyoung?”

“The only thing I have on him...” He hesitated mid-sentence as if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to say what he was going to tell you. “...is that he pawned the ring he purchased for you. He was going to propose to you after graduation, but Taeyong got in the way.”

You audibly hissed as you violently sucked the air between your teeth, causing Jaehyun to flinch slightly. “Jeno didn’t tell you this,” you told him with a clenched jaw. “You’re lying to me again?”

“I’m not lying. And it wasn’t Jeno. Ten told me after the paternity test.”

“Liar,” you huffed out. You could feel your body temperature rising as your breaths became shorter.

He let out a dispiriting chuckle to himself. “Apparently you didn’t know, but he’s Team Jaehyun. Has been for quite some time now. He also got caught up in this ‘who’s the daddy’ drama and couldn’t help but dip his toes in. So he gave me some insight. He joked that the last men standing would be me and Doyoung. Even if the baby is for neither of us, we’d still be the last two actually vying for your heart.”

“Doyoung and I despise each other,” you hiccuped.

“And you despise me, too, now. So I guess Ten was way off with his assumption.”

“Just shut up!”

All of this had to be a lie! There was know way Ten had told Jaehyun that Doyoung was going to propose to you after you graduated law school. If Ten did know about it, all the way up to the detail about Doyoung pawning the ring, why hadn’t he ever told you? And why did he tell Jaehyun? Was Ten working with him, too? And how much of a financial hole was Doyoung in that he needed to sell the ring he was going to use to profess his undying love--

Jaehyun noticed the way your breathing had become irregular, and urgently pushed himself away from the banister when he registered the frantic look on your face as the cogs whirled inside your mind at the thought of Doyoung wanting to propose to you. “Y/N, listen to me. I know this is--“

“Sorry, pretty boy. Your time is up.”

Equally stunned by the interruption, both you and Jaehyun whipped your heads around towards the staircase to see Yuta making his entrance onto the scene. You were so caught up in Jaehyun’s bullshit that you had momentarily forgotten he was still waiting for you outside. The tightness in your chest loosened at the sight of him, and you were thankful he kept his word by coming to your rescue at the right time.

“Y/N, it’s time to go?”

Jaehyun’s narrowed eyes darted quickly between you and the other man standing before him. “How long have you been in here?”

Yuta made his way over to you and gently uncrossed your arms that were still pressed tightly against your chest. “Long enough to know I have another kid somewhere out there. Not the way I wanted to find out, but then again, you can’t always get what you want.” While looking into your glossy eyes, he cuffed his hand around one of yours and let you squeeze it as hard as you needed to in order to keep hold of your sanity. He could feel the fast pace of your heightened pulse through your palm. “My ex-wife is pretty trash, huh?” He asked, then turned his head to face Jaehyun to now look directly into his eyes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did and marry the wrong person, Y/N.”

Beneath that cold, blank expression, you knew Jaehyun was fuming. You, his fiancée, had come unannounced to confront him, and now stood in his home holding hands with another man who also held claim to a piece of your heart. You stared at him as he seethed in silence, letting every letter of Yuta’s words sink into his prefrontal cortex.

“Don’t call me, text, email, or anything,” you commanded Jaehyun after you were able to find your breath. “I need time away from you to think. I need time for myself, my health, and my baby. Our possible baby.” You pointed between all three of you within the space. “Just let me think. No matter how long it takes.” You paused briefly to shift a bit of your weight onto Yuta, as you were now too tired to stand on your own. “If you want any little bit of hope that I’ll stay with you after all this, you’ll do these things for me.”

With your other hand you reached out to Yuta’s, and he proceeded to help you walk down the stairs and out of the mansion.

There wasn’t anything he could say. The only thing Yuta could do was listen to the sniffling of your nose and breathy sighs as you cried softly beside him while he drove you home. You had a great deal of things on your mind and you would talk when you were ready. He himself had a lot on his mind. His ex-wife had been blocking him from seeing his other child. The only reason he could think of for her to do something like that was so she could secure their son’s inheritance, to ensure that he got all of it without having to split it with another sibling. He didn’t put it past her. She already tried to wring his bank account dry during the divorce. This made him wonder what his ex had in mind to do if he was the father of your baby, too. He needed to do something about that conniving woman and get his son away from her before she did something else he wouldn’t be able to forgive.

You sighed heavily, snapping Yuta out of his thoughts. From the corner of his eye he saw you wipe your nose with one of the tissues from the packet he got for you out of his glove compartment. Seeing you like this was so upsetting to him. He was used to seeing you as a strong, independent woman who didn’t have any problem taking care of herself. To see someone like you so broken up because of another person made him so mad. He should have punched Jaehyun like he originally wanted to.

“I’ll stay with you until your brother gets back,” Yuta said, breaking the stagnant air around you.

You shook your head. “No, your family needs you.”

“Are you sure?”

You weren’t. You weren’t sure if you actually wanted to be alone until Mark came back. You weren’t sure you could be alone. But you were sure that you didn't want to drag your brother or Yuta any further down this deep pit of despair you dug for yourself. You didn’t want to go home anymore. You didn’t want to be there alone with your thoughts and you didn’t want to be there with Yuta who had his own issues that needed to be sorted out right away. But where could you go? The man you thought you could trust your heart to just ripped it out of your chest and stomped on it. There was nowhere else for you to go but home to cry on your brother, but you refused to keep stressing him out. So you would have to go to a place where you could cry on someone else who actually had a role in your messed up storyline. Two of which would more than likely turn you away, and one of them would definitely welcome you with open arms against their better judgement. And the other would…

“I want you to take me somewhere else instead,” you answered Yuta’s question.

“What? Where?”

“I just don’t want to go home. Please, Yuta?”

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I’m going to have to charge you cab fare.”

Because of Yuta’s joke, a small smile was able to make its way onto your tear stained face. “Thank you. Take the exit after the next one and then make a left at the light.”

Yuta followed your instructions as you directed him to your destination. He had an idea on where you were going and his assumption grew stronger when he began to drive through a residential area. You pointed to the house you wanted him to drop you off in front of and he pulled up to the curb to park his car.

“That’ll be $36.00, please,” he said, reaching out his hand towards you. You ignored his antics and began taking off your seatbelt. “Whose house is this anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

“Oh no. I’m not letting you out until you tell me.” To reinforce his point, he pressed the button to re-lock his car doors that had automatically unlocked when he put his car into park.

“I’ll be fine. What more can be done to me after what I just went through?” You unlocked the door manually and then struggled your way out of the car by yourself. By the time Yuta had taken off his own seatbelt to stop you, you were already halfway to the front door of the house, so he gave up and let himself watch you go up the rest of the way and ring the doorbell. After opening the door, the owner of the house’s hands went immediately to your puffy cheeks as the sight of your distressing appearance suddenly caused him to become overcome with urgency.

Yuta craned his neck as he tried to see who it was you chose to use as a supportive pillar. When he got a good look at them he made a hum of enlightenment before sitting back properly in his seat. “I was expecting to see her mother, not the rabbit.”

You were immediately ushered into the house and made to sit on the living room sofa. Doyoung left you briefly to make herbal tea after you accepted his offer for a cup. Once done, he set the cup and saucer into your hands, and then he sat down beside you on the couch with his elbows resting on his legs. “What happened to you?” he asked you after waiting for you to take your first sip of the tea. After your visit with him to the ER earlier that day, he assumed you had gone home to rest like the doctor prescribed.

“I found out who really had the pictures taken.” Doyoung didn’t say anything, allowing you to continue when you were ready. He watched as you took another sip of your tea, noticing the way your hand slightly trembled when you placed it back down onto the saucer. “It was Jaehyun.”

As if he had already known the answer, Doyoung closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. “I figured as much.”

“How long have you known?” Leave it to Doyoung to be so perceptive. He should quit being a lawyer and become a detective.

“I found the pictures the day you had us all tested. I put the pieces together a little bit before your baby shower.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Doyoung looked down shamefully at his hands. “You ask that like you were actually willing to talk to me.”

“It didn’t stop you from giving me the envelope.”

He moved one of his hands to push back his hair from his face. “I’m sorry about that. My mind was grappling with so many emotions that day. I wanted to talk to you about everything in person, but he kept getting in my way.” From the way he spit out the word, you knew he was talking about Jaehyun without having to say his name.

“I’m glad you did it when you did,” you told him as you gazed dismally into the orange liquid inside your cup. “I was able to use what you gave me to confront him and he revealed his true self.”

Doyoung’s eyes moved from your face to your hand that held the saucer. You were still wearing the engagement ring from Jaehyun. He didn’t want to make any assumptions about where your relationship with him stood. “Are you still…” he asked tentatively.

You followed his gaze and inferred what he was asking you. “I don’t know,” you said after taking a deep breath. “I just...he told me a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him again.”

“I see,” was all he could say to you in that moment.

There was another small period of silence between you so you could drink more of your tea, but in actuality you were mustering up the nerve to ask him this next question: “Is it true that you were going to propose to me?”

Doyoung’s entire body went stiff beside you. And you swore you saw his eyebrows hit the sky. “Who told you that lie?”

You turned your body slightly to face him more and looked into his eyes for the first time since entering his home. “Everybody has been lying to me lately and I just want to have an honest conversation with someone. So is it true?”

“Did Jaehyun tell you that to mess with your head? It’s obviously false,” he said, becoming defensively indignant.

“Ten told him.”

Doyoung didn’t respond right away, and so you knew it was the truth.

“How much money did you lose on the ring?”

“Why does that matter? You still left me anyway, so I would have had to sell it regardless.”

And here you thought the two of you would finally be able to put aside your differences.

“For fucks sake,” you gritted and practically threw the tea cup and saucer onto his coffee table. “I’m sorry I left you, okay! Is that what you want me to say? Stop reminding me of one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made! So can we please have a conversation like two human beings?”

Something you had just said lit a flame inside him and he could no longer hold back all the conflicting feelings he kept inside him. “Fine! If you want me to be honest, yes! I was going to propose to you. You were my everything just like you were to all these other guys that worship the ground you walk on for some reason. And I just don’t know why it has to be like this!” He took a second to take a shaky breath as tears began to prickle behind his eyes. “Because you were with me! You were supposed to be with me forever! But then you just left me to be with Taeyong, and I made myself hate you all this time even though I was the one who told you to go!” He hastily wiped his eyes with his sleeve before any of his tears could fall. “Fuck!”

You stared at him wide eyed in disbelief at the fact that he was finally being honest about himself. But then you shook your head when something other than his current state came to your attention. “Was it really Taeyong or were you too afraid that I might have rejected your proposal to be with someone else?”

Doyoung sniffed and wiped his eyes once more. “Don’t psychoanalyze me right now.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He responded by rolling his eyes at you, making you scoff. “You know, you're the whole reason I have commitment issues. You’re the literal reason I ran into Taeyong’s arms. But he turned out to be crazy, so I left him. Then the next thing I knew I was working with two guys who only wanted me for my body rather than have a functioning relationship. I said I was fine with that, but I really wasn’t. So I found a seemingly good natured man to settle down with, but I was still unhappy with him because I wanted to try the no sex thing like an idiot. If you hadn’t run me away in the first place, we’d be married by now with our joint practice like we used to talk about, and I wouldn’t have come out of some crazy sex bender not knowing who the father of my daughter is!”

“I know, I know! And I’m so sorry!”

“Are you?!”

“Yes! And I wish I could take it all back!” He cradled his face in his hands as he fought back a sob. “I never stopped loving you, Y/N.”

“You made sure I believed otherwise.”

He slid his hands down and off his face. “Because I’m stupid.”

You shook your head at him again. “No, I’m stupid. I still don’t know who my baby’s father is because I’m too scared to look at the results.”

Doyoung’s eyes widened slightly. “You have the results and never told any of us you got them?”

“I know I’m terrible for keeping everyone in limbo. I wasn’t ready before. But now...I think I am. I have to be.” Doyoung watched quietly as you lifted up your left hand and twisted off the engagement ring on your finger. “Knowing who he is determines how I’m going to move forward with my life,” you continued and placed the ring onto the coffee table next to the small puddle of tea you spilled. “And I need to be able to face head on whatever fate the universe has chosen for me and my child.”

Dun dun duuuunnnnn!

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

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127-mile · 3 years

Text

DANS LES CATACOMBES | IN THE CATACOMBS. the sign above the door was written in french. it read: ARRÊTE! C’EST ICI L’EMPIRE DE LA MORT. - paul aertker, brainwashed.

PAIRING: Hanse x gender neutral reader.

GENRE: Established relationship, horror, angst.

WARNINGS: Mention of bones, drugs and alcohol, non-explicit mention of cults, blood and human sacrifices, mention of deaths, of the use of a ouija board and voices.

PLOT: You thought a walk in the catacombs would be a nice date, but how wrong you were.

WORD COUNT: 1.5k.

A/N: This is part of the Legends never die, the untold stories collab hosted by @nayuyeons. The tags are a lot scarier than the fic.

“At the end of the 18th century, major health problems linked to the city’s cemeteries led to the decision to transfer their contents underground. The Parisian authorities chose an easily accessible site, then located outside the capital: the old quarries de la Tombe-Issoire, under the plain of Montrouge. The first evacuations took place from 1785 to 1787 and affected the most important cemetery in Paris, the Saints-Innocents.”

“The bones, previously left loose, are carefully organized in the walls, on the model of quarrymen’s hagues. On the front, the rows of shins alternate with those of skulls, while behind the facings pile up the remaining bones, often very fragmented by the consequences of their fall.”

“There are 6 million skeletons stored in the catacombs ossuary, which is about 3 times more than Parisians! The Municipal Ossuary of the Catacombs is one of the largest ossuaries in the world.” (i translated these parts from the catacombs website back from my doyoung catacombs fic, i just used them again)

You barely hear the guide's voice, far too busy trying to ignore Hanse's lips on the back of your neck, his hot breath against your skin, and his hands gripping your waist. Several times you have tried to push him away, but the lack of movement does nothing other than to prompt him to stay glued to your back.

"That's not what we're here for." you whisper as you step on his foot hard enough to make him wince.

"I'm bored, I already know everything he's telling us." he responds by letting his arms fall to his sides.

You know, he knows it, you were next to him on the plane when he was reading the catacombs website. But it is an obligatory passage before the special visit begins.

Because yes, it is not a visit like the others.

Normally, the Paris Catacombs tour happens during the day, when the sun is high in the sky, and only the accessible and secure parts are visited, but today is a special day.

The tour takes place at night, and what will be visited will be the caves where strange events are said to have happened.

"Do you think the rumors are true?" he asks in a low voice, he refuses to be heard by the guide, he prefers you answering him, rather than hearing the boring and slow voice of the man who has been doing this for far too long.

"Some people were traumatized by the caves, but they were also drunk and on drugs, so I don't know how much we can believe the rumors."

And the events happened more than fifteen years ago, so water has flowed under the bridges, and who knows if the rumors haven't changed over time.

He nods, and finally the guide starts moving so you take his hand in yours and you follow the group.

"Are we allowed to use professional equipment?" someone asks, and you hear the guide chuckle.

"I do not advise you to do it, the caves are very unstable, we do not want interference, or too strong waves to cause the caves to collapse on us. That would be sad, especially because you signed a waiver that forbid you from suing us."

Always read the waiver before signing it, you think, looking around. The man stops in a first cave, and he clears his throat. You have the impression that a mere burst of voice could bring the place down. Everything echoes, even your breathing.

“Apparently in the 1980s a cult found a way to get to the catacombs to perform sacrifices. You would like me to tell you that these were animal sacrifices, but no. Authorities found remains of humans that have been drained of their blood right in the middle of this cave."

Looking over the shoulder of the person in front of you, you notice a dark stain on the floor, but it's not strong enough evidence to prove that it happened. It could be a wet stain, or some idiot spilling something on the ground years ago without the guide seeing it.

"Do you have something that has been proven? Because we are wasting our time."

Your eyes widen when you hear Hanse's voice. He really isn't the most patient person when it comes to a guided tour. You suddenly remember when you went through the most haunted museum in the United States, he practically pushed the guide aside to make the tour himself.

You don't blame him, you don't even get mad, it actually makes your heart beat a little faster.

"If you wanted to get to the good stuff immediately you should have entered illegally." the guide responds by continuing the tour.

About twenty minutes pass, the guide tells more stories as strange and impossible as the other. Hanse is getting more and more annoyed, you can feel it by the way he squeezes your hand every time he enters a new part of the catacombs.

"There are loads of haunted places in Paris, why did you choose the catacombs?" he mumbles, and you shrug your shoulders.

"Maybe because you've always wanted to visit them?"

"And here we are in the last cave. This one is dedicated to our impatient young man in the back of the line."

If Hanse had less restraint, he would certainly be insulting the guide, but instead he steps further into the cave. "Come on, surprise us with another made-up story."

"This one is not made up." he says in a firm voice, and Hanse throws his head back laughing. His laugh hits against the walls, and the echo makes you shiver in an unpleasant way.

"So you admit that the others are made up? What are you willing to do to make money." he answers, and you wonder if the guide will hit him when he clenches his fists.

"You gave me your money to hear these stories, so shut up and let the others enjoy."

"Come on baby, let him do his job." you whisper as you take his arm, your head resting against his shoulder.

“In the early 2000s, a bunch of teens decided to enter the catacombs illegally, and they got lost. Unfortunately, when they were found they were already dead. Since then, the people wandering too far away in the catacombs, or people who come to renovate say they hear voices."

Everyone is silent, even Hanse, which is strange.

"A video was found, a video that was never allowed to be shown to the public in an attempt to trace the identities of these people, but the police were allowed to watch it, and informations were leaked."

"In this video you can see the teens running, presumably being chased by someone. Or rather, by something."

Whether this story is true, or made up, your eyes widen, it's crazy.

"Some people can still hear the teens calling for help, screaming and crying because of the thing chasing them."

There is silence in the cave, and you look around, frowning. You don't know if it's because of the story, or some trick played by your mind, but it feels like you are hearing a claw all around you. As if someone was scratching one of the walls.

"Do you hear that?" you ask near Hanse's ear who nods his head.

“People, so called paranormal professionals came with a ouija board. And by wanting to talk to the teenagers, they called something more powerful, something even worse than what caused the teens' deaths."

Your blood freezes when you hear a sudden cry. The scream is so loud, and so close to your ear that you are sure if you turn around you will see someone behind you screaming their lungs out, but there is no one there. You do not feel any presence behind you, and even Hanse who is looking around, does not react.

"What was that?" you ask, panicked.

"One of the teenagers. They want to get out. They are tired of being locked up in the catacombs. And I understand them. It's hard to always be here, to have to listen to the cries of the grieving souls without being able to go out."

A new scream is heard, and this time, you have no choice but to put your hands against your ears to muffle the noise that could make you cry because of how loud and so full of pain it is.

"Stop it, make it stop, please!" someone exclaims.

If you are paralyzed, Hanse seems unable to stay still, he is ready to pounce on the guide who is scaring everyone. Who is scaring you, you, whose heart hasn't even raced in the most haunted places you've visited in the past three years.

"It's okay, we got it, you know how to tell stories, and you know how to scare us, now bring us back to the surface!" he growls, and the other tourists seem to agree with him.

Except that..

Except that when you turn in the direction of the guide, he is gone.

#victon #victon imagines #victon scenarios #hanse imagines #hanse scenarios

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haechanniesunflowers · 3 years

Text

NCT 127's reaction to your kid misbehaving with you

Warnings: bratty kids, disrespect, smoking, weight conscious theme, a lil mention of blood, just spoiled kids idk I can't stand bratty and spoiled kids if my future kids ever misbehave with y'all let me know I'ma handle them

Requested by @glossiiipeach

Taeil

Taeil knows how to be a good parent, he's the oldest hyung of 22 other boys. Can't nobody tell him how to handle his kids because he's dealt with Haechan.

He wakes up in the middle of the night and stretches his hand out to hold you, he doesn't feel you there. Getting out of bed he goes to look for you but hears faint voices and follows the source. He's standing outside his 17 year old daughter Jiwoo's bedroom. He's about to knock on the door when he makes out what she's saying.

"mom didn't I just tell you that we're being careful? we're young and don't want a child of course. Why can't you understand that. Now give me back my pills and get out of my room"

"you're 17 Jiwoo. I'm worried about you. What if something goes wrong? And he's not the type to settle down. I don't want you to get hurt please"

"my God mom you're so annoying stop it please leave I'm getting angry"

Taeil can't believe what he's hearing and it's making him lose his mind. He enters Jiwoo's room making her and you shocked. He sees the pills in your hand and looks at Jiwoo. She's beyond embarrassed. Taeil tries his best to contain his anger, taking deep breaths. Nope he can't handle it.

"what's going on?" he asks, not actually wanting confirmation.

"Taeil honey, let me handle this" you say

"does she deserve your compassion y/n? She doesn't even know how to respect her mother, why should I go easy on her?"

Everyone goes silent.

"tell that man to come over tomorrow, I want to meet him. Let's hope he's got some manners because you clearly don't" he says to Jiwoo and leaves the room taking you with him.

Johnny

Johnny is a great partner and parent. He's like a friend to his 14 year old twin sons David and Jacob. They share everything with him, tell him their secrets, their relationship with you guys is built on trust so you guys are cool with each other. But that doesn't mean that they can do anything they're not allowed to do.

You're in the kitchen preparing dinner, Jocob helping you not only because he's closer with you but because he's a member of the family and he knows helping around the house won't make him any less of a man (yes I said equity) you guys taught your children well I'm so proud of you. Johnny comes home an hour early and sets the table (I love this family so much ugh) while Jacob brings the dishes. You go upstairs to wake David up since he said he'll be asleep. You softly knock on the door several times but he doesn't answer so you quietly open the door only to see that he's not in his room. Johnny comes upstairs too to change into comfortable clothes before dinner.

You see the bathroom door open to you wak over and just as you're about to call David's name you see him leaning against the shower wall, smoking a cigarette. In a state of anger and shock you stomp towards him and slapping it out of his hand.

"what is your fucking problem mom" David screams.

Did Johnny hear it right? Are his ears playing tricks on him or did he just hear 14 year old David not only just raise his voice at you but also use a curse word with you. He's there in an instant, face twisting with anger. Someone please save David from Johnny now.

He takes the cigarette from your hand and examines it before turning towards his son. "did you just curse at your mother?" Johnny is scary man. No one says anything.

"we'll talk about the cigarette later. I can't have my boys disrespecting my wife, under my roof. So why don't you repeat it for us, I want to hear it up close". He says.

"no I'm sorry, she scared me" David says quietly.

"oh that's not what I overheard" Johnny says, he won't let him get away with this.

Taeyong

You and him only have one child and have planned to have another when your first born is older. So naturally your 12 year old son Minho was loved and spoiled by everyone around him. He could get away with almost everything. Almost. And disrespecting anyone wasn't on the list of options. You don't let him indulge in technology a lot and send him to the playground instead. You and Taeyong don't realize it sooner that he's surrounding himself with older boys who teach him bad things just for the fun of it.

He comes home one day and straight up yells for you to make him his favorite chocolate shake. "mom make me my favorite drink right now".

You look at your mother-in-law who is visiting you for the weekend and excuse yourself. "Lee Minho where are your manners? Go meet your grandparents" you say glaring at him. He rolls his eyes in return.

"umm no I don't want to right now, and where's my chocolate shake".

"Minho what are you saying, what's wrong with you. I'm telling you to go and-"

"and I said I don't want to. I'll meet them when I want to meet them. Got it?" he says angrily.

Taeyong hears the commotion from his room and comes to see what's going on. He hears the last sentence Minho said and quickly comes closer to you two.

"what was that Minho?" Taeyong asks, his aura dark.

"I don't want to talk to anyone right now and she's forcing me, tell her to stop" Minho is just asking for trouble now.

Taeyong looks at you apologetically and then to his son angrily. "come with me" he says, taking his son by his arm to his room. He's gonna talk some sense into that spoiled kid, oh and he's grounded and Taeyong will personally have a word with those boys Minho's been playing with.

Yuta

We all know our man is woke af and got big brains. He's a friendly but strict father, his sons Hiroto (15) and Fubuki (10) know better than to make him angry. But his daughter Ayame (13) is his weakness and he goes easy on her. Maybe that's why she thinks she can trash talk to you without consequences.

You guys are going to meet Yuta's parents in Osaka and everyone is told to be on their best behavior. Hiroto and Fubuki comply but Ayame has an attitude because she would rather hangout with her friends. Yuta is driving the car and you're in the passenger seat.

"move omg you're touching me" Ayame complains and shoves Fubuki towards Hiroto, the latter sending her a glare.

"Ayame sweetie be nice to your baby brother" you say.

"ugh I don't get why we all have to go. I had to cancel my plans with Aoi and Natsumi. I could meet grandmother and grandfather some other time when I wasn't busy" she complains. You, Hiroto add Fubuki all look towards Yuta to check if this sudden outburst made him angry because it's his parents she's talking about. You can tell by the way he cocks his eyebrow for a second and the way he's gripping the steering wheel that he's getting annoyed. So you decide to tell her to stop.

"Ayame stop complaining, it's not like we meet them every day. They're very sweet and you kids know they love you so much".

"this was your stupid idea wasn't it mom" and with that Yuta stops the car and faces his daughter.

"what makes you think you can talk to her like that" he asks rhetorically. Ayame is speechless, she wasn't expecting this. Yuta thinks the world of you, he's seen you being sick during your pregnancies and the troubles of carrying his children. He's noticed how your body has become weaker and changed. If anything, he loves you even more for being strong and going through it. He's in awe of you and he can't let anyone disrespect you. His brain can't accept it.

"take your words back and say you're sorry right now" he says in a serious tone.

"I'm sorry mom" your daughter apologizes immediately.

Doyoung

Doyoung and you put in extra effort to teach your children the best manners. You guys did succeed but weren't prepared for this surprise. Your daughter Yuna (12) got into a fight with your son Hyunjin (14). It started with them arguing over the remote and escalated to the point where Hyunjin hit her in the head with the remote and pulled her hair. Yuna screamed for you. You and Doyoung were asleep in your room when you heard her scream. You quickly got out of bed and ran to see what had happened. Yuna came running into your arms, crying hysterically. Doyoung followed you, confused and scared. He sees Yuna in your arms crying her eyes out and you're scolding your son.

"Hyunjin how dare you hit your sister"

"it's not like she wasn't a part of it, I was watching the game and she tried snatching the remote from my hand"

"does that mean you hit her head and pull her hair? You're so mean apologize to your sister"

"no shut up" he says annoyed and immediately covers his mouth.

"hey! you shut up and go to your room, you're grounded until I say so" Doyoung says before you could say anything.

Hyunjin runs to his room with his hands still covering his mouth and spilling apologies to you.

Doyoung picks Yuna up and takes you both to your room, calming her down and promising her that he will scold Hyunjin.

"I'm sorry" he says to you, squeezing your hand feeling embarrassed that your son disrespected you.

Jaehyun

Such a loving husband and father and an only child, he did everything in his power to make you two happy. He spoiled not only you but his daughter as well. Ever since Jisoo was born, she has been the apple of everyone's eyes. Your parents, Jaehyun's parents and you two all loved her to no end. She got whatever she wanted. This soon got to her head and now she was 15 and asking for a Prius. It was an absurd request because 1, she doesn't know how to drive, 2, she's not legally supposed to drive and 3, what does she even need the car for. You both turn down her request. She's not having any of it.

She's stopped eating and stays in her room all the time. You're both very concerned but you know her wish can't be granted so you try to cheer her up.

You two are in her room sitting on her bed, she's on her phone. You start talking.

"Jae the lobster you prepared looks amazing and I bet it tastes perfect too, if only Jisoo could accompany us at the dinner table, we could taste it", you say.

Jisoo sighs "all I hear is blah blah blah"

"come on y/n, let's have lobster for dinner because Jisoo clearly doesn't have enough appreciation for the hard work put in and she doesn't have proper manners so we'll leave her to think about what she said and when she's ready to apologize, she can come join us at the dinner table" he says taking you out of the room with him.

Winwin

What did I say about OT10 hmm? We have no choice but to stan.

He's the sweetest most gentle man ever I swear just look at him. Everyone loves him so much. He doesn't look like the type to get angry so it really takes a lot to get him there.

He's sitting on the couch reading his group chat texts and you're sitting on the floor with you 16 year old son Minghao, playing a video game. You're better at it than him and you aren't gonna lose just because he's your son. You're about to win when he throws his controller and unplugs the game, making you let out an annoyed cry.

"what gives" you say

"mom can you stop, you're being annoying ugh"

"hey watch it" you warn him and he pushes the books off the shelf in annoyance.

"y/n let's go out for a walk. It'll give Minghao enough time to think about his actions and clean up the mess he's made".

Yup you both really left him to clean it.

Jungwoo

You guys have a pretty strong relationship and everyone can see that. You're there for each other and help the other whenever they need it. Plus you have two beautiful daughters Chaein (16) and Dami (14). Your family is cute, soft and savage. Yikes

Your daughters are very very close with you and won't dare to disrespect you and they often joke around with you.

Ever since you had your girls, you've struggled to lose weight. Your body had gotten weak after child birth so you needed everything to stay healthy but you couldn't seem to lose weight, you didn't have the energy to. You sometimes felt conscious standing next to your husband but he always reassured you that you look perfect and he's maintaining his weight because of his job. You didn't need to be conscious but you couldn't help it.

You had a lot of work to do that day so you constantly had to go up and down the stairs. At one point you had had enough so you stood there trying to catch your breath. Your daughter Dami also came down and was using her phone so she bumped into you.

"my God mother move! you've really let yourself go"

"that's not very nice of you Dami" Jungwoo says coming up the stairs to help you.

"I was joking dad" Dami says.

"we don't joke about these kinds of things in this household" Jungwoo informs and Dami says she's sorry to both of you.

"ooo busted" Chaein comments from her room.

Mark

You and Mark had a similar nature. You both found it hard to get angry but it was easy when it was at Haechan lmao let the boy breathe

Mark was pretty chill with his family and you guys joked around a lot but nothing too serious.

You were currently in the kitchen losing your marbles over Mark destroying the eggs and using a metal spoon on a non stick pan yup he scraped it alright.

"just watch me do it y/n I think I finally got it"

You're sitting still, internally crying over the ruined pan.

"see? I told you I got it" Mark says proudly, putting the destroyed egg on the plate, sprinkling some salt and pepper on it.

"Mark what is this supposed to be, and you ruined my pan. You said you were going to be careful with it. I'm physically in pain just looking at it" you say jokingly. The damage had been done you why not joke about it.

"oh come on mom it's just a pan stop being so over dramatic about it" says your 12 year old son Levi.

"hey don't be sassing around got it? Especially not with your mother and me" Mark says in a serious tone with his finger pointed to his son.

"sorry mom and dad" Levi says.

Haechan

If you thought he's annoying, you've got another thing coming. Say hello to your sons Changmin and Subin. A combination of Haechan and you.

You love them to death but sometimes it gets too much and you need your husband to control them. It's one of those times. They're running around the house with sticks in their hands. You're trying to stop them to keep them from hurting themselves because those sticks are pointy but they're not listening to you at all. You try stepping between and Subin (10) accidentally runs into you with the the stick pointed towards you. It pierces the skin of your leg, drawing blood. You let out a yelp and clutch your wounded leg. Changmin (12) screams for Haechan once he sees the blood. He immediately comes running and gives you first aid. He asks you how it happened and Subin answers it himself.

"I was playing with Changmin and mom decided to butt in!"

Haechan glares at him and is about to school him but you hold his wrist and shake your head no. He sighs and thinks of better words.

"that's not how to speak about your parents kids" he says, disappointed.

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i-growl-growl-growl · 3 years

Text

Yandere NCT Reaction: Their s/o is secretly more yandere than them

If request are open yandere nct reactions to be being a yandere for them as well? Thank you!

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Yandere Nct reaction. Your written for these reactions are really great! I appreciate the effort and thought that goes into them! Could you do a yandere Nct reaction to finding out their s/o was tricking them and was actually more of a yandere than them? Like the s/o was pretending to be shy and innocent just to lure them in.

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I’m going to put these two requests together since they were so similar. Hope that is okay.

Warnings: Yandere themes, dark themes, suggestive themes, violent themes,

Taeyong:

Taeyong would be stunned when he wakes up to fell the weight of the shock anklet on. The feeling something so foreign for him to be on the receiving end of. In one way he loves it, because if you’re possessive of him it quells some of his fears that you’d go to another man...he could certainly keep you busy after all. That being said though I feel like he’d take it as a challenge. Yandere Taeyong lives for control over you after all, so be prepared to fight for control and constant challening.

“Oh? What is this kitten? You think you’re in charge now. Possessive or not you know better baby. Unless I need to remind you of that.

Taeil:

Taeil wouldn’t mind you being yandere, not even more than him. He might even try to get your yandere side to make appearances, loving when you got possessive over him. Oh and if you were to get violent … for him, he’d look at you as if you were an angel, ironically. That being said while it might subdue his yandere tendencies to an extent they would still be there.

“Just because I’m not allowed out with you doesn’t mean any men can just talk to you however they see fit. I’ll sneak out and take care of that problem myself if I have to.”

Johnny:

Johnny like Taeyong will challenge you, but in this case it’s for the purpose of entertainment. He likes seeing how far you’ll go it amuses him.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to flirt with others?” Your heated words only make Johnny smirk, sipping his drink as he locks eyes with you. The fire in yours not scaring his gaze away even for a moment.

“As many times as it takes for you to learn the same. Or for you to learn what I’ve been telling you that we’re dangerous people Y/N. Dangerous alone...but even more so together. If we stop playing these games.”

Yuta:

Yuta would not always have the patience for it, if he feels like your yandere behavior interferes with his desire to protect you and keep you close he’d get frustrated very quickly. Especially if he was trapped at home while you were out somewhere. You’d come back to find him so far beyond pissed.

“Fine. You wanna be like this? Then we’re gonna have to set some rules. Or you’re not going to like what happens.”

Kun:

Kun thinks that if you’re both like this then you should do something to satisfy what you both want. Buy a secluded home somewhere, mostly self sustaining with only the best security. If you’re still in need of money all work will be done from home. Any trips either of you make out would be very very rare and always accompanied by the other.

“Don’t deny that it sounds good to you baby. No one will be able to take me from you, or you from me.”

Doyoung:

Doyoung loves it and everything your yandere side does to him. Makes him feel oddly safe and satisfied knowing you’re as wholly dedicated to him as he is to you. Still his yandere is there, he’s just very subtle about it, acting like he can keep secrets from you. Good at sneaking out to do things to people he doesn’t like you around without leaving any evidence and being back when you get back.

“What? No. That’s just a coincidence sweetheart. A nice coincidence. See look. I was here making this lovely dinner just for you.”

Ten:

Ten would find it really sexy, but he’d also take it as a challenge and gets irritated at times. Thinks you should work together instead of trying to hold each other back to try and protect or hide the other away. Might actually show you off to some people in that case, even though he still is very possessive.

“Sweetheart, don’t try to hide me away. Not when we could bring this whole world to it’s knees. You could show them how a true king/queen rules.”

Jaehyun:

I think he’d be very thrown off at first. Like I don’t think he’d be convinced that you were serious about it. He’d be worried it’s a trap to get him to trust you only to leave. So he’d stay very VERY close to you and try to trap you with questions to see how serious you were.

“So I was thinking, what if we went out to a house in the middle of nowhere. Just us, no phone, no internet, nowhere to escape to. Would you really like that too?”

WinWin:

Sicheng would be confused too wondering where this side of you had come from and where the innocent, shy person he needed to protect from the world went. He might get somewhat distant until he figures out what happened and then he’d be back again. I think he’d likely let you take the reigns a lot, maybe not entirely as he still wants to protect you and keep you to yourself.

“Sure we can do what you want, but here’s what you have to do to stay safe. That or you can forget about me going along with this.”

Jungwoo:

Jungwoo wouldn’t know who you were or what to do with you. He might be hard to keep a hold of as he might somewhat feel betrayed by your acting like a different person. He would still love you in a way, but he also would feel like he doesn’t know who you are. Very conflicted.

“You aren’t my Y/N...I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Lucas:

Lucas might test you some to see if you’d really follow through on your claims or not, wondering if this was a trick. He’d make it very clear he still will let his yandere side out no matter what you wanted, even if you wanted to try and keep him locked away. Not to challenge you, but because he wants what he wants. Doesn’t care what your punishment for him is as long as he got to follow through.

“No that man touched you, so I’m going to do something about it no matter what you say. You can’t stop me.”

Mark:

Mark would try to make you equals in this situation, appease both of your yandere sides. His might flare up from time to time, but he understands so will that side of you. Still he knows that neither of you can erase that side of yourself either.

“This is who we both are baby and we both love it. So let’s embrace it.”

Xiaojun:

Xiaojun might cry at first, but it would be tears of relief. He thought you’d been hiding some part of yourself from him and this was the best thing it could have been in his opinion. He wouldn’t have to worry about you ever leaving.

“Just show me all of you baby, you don’t scare me away. I love you too much for that ever to happen. I’m all yours just as you are all mine.”

Hendery:

Hendery would be testy and actually laugh when your yandere side kicks in stricter whether it be punishments or just restrictions for him. The stricter you got the stricter he would, not to irritate you or mock you, but to almost size you up. See where each of your boundaries were.

“Oh? That’s the worst you can do? Well what about this love?”

Renjun:

Renjun would be pretty out of his element I think. He’d probably back down quite a bit at first purely out of confusion just letting you do your thing as he tried to figure out what was going on. After that he’d stay pretty docile feeling secure knowing you’re so yandere for him alone, but sometimes his yandere side would show up still.

“Sure you can wear that, if I’m there to make sure no one get the wrong idea. If you want me at home though then you’re gonna have to find something else to wear.”

Jeno:

I think Jeno would be irritated at first, thinking that you’re mocking him or trying to push the limits. Soon as he knows that this is you being possessive over him though he feels pride swell in his chest every time your yandere appears, especially without prompting from him.

“Yes she did get the wrong idea baby, what are you going to do to show her who I belong to?”

Haechan:

Haechan would keep a very close eye on you and try to reason with you instead of letting your yandere sides get too volatile. Not wanting them to both come out and take things to far, not wanting anything to happen that would risk you two being separated somehow.

“Well we could always stick together, that way we can keep our eyes and hands on each other. You know, for reassurance.”

Jaemin:

I think Jaemin would be super happy at first, let you kind of take over while he backed down. That would only be at first though. Soon he’d realize that while you wanted him home away from the world that might try to steal him away you were still out there in it. What if it tried to steal you from him? He’d get antsy and then his yandere side would likely come out stronger than before.

“I already told you. You aren’t going out and if you try there will be consequences. I’m not just going to sit around anymore.”

YangYang:

I think YangYang might try to break your yandere side at first. He wouldn’t be sure it was legit, so he’d try to prove that. His yandere side would come out stronger and if yours told him to do something or threatened punishment he’d push his luck deliberately doing the opposite of what you said to do. After proving it was seriously you though he’d use that to his advantage.

“Yes, I need to talk business with a woman. She’s rather flirtatious too and not afraid of me. Think you can help out with that love?”

Chenle:

Chenle would love it and might back off to an extent. He won’t just sit around at home behaving for you though. He’s pretty stuck to you like glue. You might take the lead, but that doesn’t mean he’ll back down about certain things. He’s intent on keeping you safe and with him.

“Allow me angel. You shouldn’t have to be the one getting your hands dirty.”

Jisung:

I think Jisung would cry too, he’d be so happy. All he ever wanted was for you to love him back and now you’re proving to him that you do. Not only do you love him back, but you have the same type of love for him as he has for you. Much easier to talk down his yandere now, he kinda turns a little mushy. A bit like a lovesick puppy.

“Of course baby, anything that’ll make you happy. Just so long as you’re safe with me and love me.”

-Bre

215 notes · View notes

babiesdreams · 3 years

Text

Cry for me kim dongyoung

Warnings: death of a character, blood and mentions of violence, mental health issues :]

This is part of the collab with @slightlymore

What shall define a Kingdom’s faith? If war brings hunger and death, Illness and misery, and peace is meant for the weak ones. What is the real goal of a king? Is is power? Trust? Love? Benevolence? Or is it just an infinity war for a land of nobody, while people still die from hunger? If a man cannot be trusted to make the simple task of protecting the kingdom, I shall do it instead.

“I told you a hundred times, you are not going to this war” Your father’s firm voice gets you more and more furious over time. “I don’t care what you want. I’m the future queen. I know how to fight. Let me go to war!” You order him, but he stays still, not allowing a single protest out of your mouth after he says “Take her to her room” Your furrowed brows don’t help to soften his expression nor his heart, and soon you’re yet again imprisoned in your room.

You look into the mirror, cursing over your destiny and tears start appearing in your eyes. “I will go to that bloody war” You slowly whisper to yourself. There’s truly a lot of things you could lose in there, but your father shouldn’t go by any circumstances, he barely recovered from his last injury, going to war was a clear death. And he didn’t want you to do something about it? No way. You weren’t just a princess, you were the future queen, and you were going to fight like one.

So when everyone left the castle in March, you started taking your plan to action. You made every maid of the castle gather around, making a plan together as to how you should get into war. Some of them decided to remain in the castle, one of them pretending to be you. And the rest got their armour from the castle's hidden rooms, along with sharp swords.

Months of practice were required before you could properly leave the castle. So by June, you all got the best horses and rode them across the kingdom until getting to the border with the problematic neighbour kingdom. You ride your horse with grace, hurting the enemies that got on your way. The heavy metal helmet over your head, covered your famous face from the warriors. And when you stop, right in the middle of the battlefield, you are able to notice the amount of blood that paints the ground with a scary shade of red.

You look everywhere, impatient to find your father, hopefully lost in the crowd. But he’s nowhere to be seen, making your desperation grow inside of you. Your allies keep fighting different enemies in different positions around you, which makes you kind of the center of attention, as you’re still not fighting anyone. You notice a strong presence coming your way when you hear horse steps nearby. You lift the heavy sword, easily, compared with how hard it was during your training. The sharp weapon points directly to the unknown figure.

“Have you seen the king?” You ask as low as you possibly can, trying to hide the fact that you were a woman. Your breaths get heavier as time passes by, the thought of being vulnerable in front of the enemy wasn’t really pleasant. “You mean your king?” He says, looking down at the refined decoration over your horse, with your kingdom’s colors. “Yes” You simply reply, analyzing him as well. His horse was slightly injured and the soldier’s leg was bleeding out over the white horse’s skin.

“I haven’t seen him” His tone seems somehow suspicious, but you’re not quite sure if it’s the fact that he doesn’t trust you or the fact that he indeed knew where your father was. “I see you’re injured, I won’t fight an injured man. But I won’t hesitate to fight back if you attack me” Your words come out with anger, kind of losing your manly tone, but still not as high-pitched to make it suspicious. “Let’s not harm each other then” He says, making his horse run into the crowd again.

You get off your dark skinned horse, looking into the animal’s eyes, finding comfort in them, and after a few seconds, you start running around the battlefield, in search of your father once again. It doesn’t take you a lot of time to find his body, agonizing on the ground, while the soldier you left behind minutes ago was standing right next to his body. “DAD” You shouted, running even faster towards him.

You get your helmet off your head, kneeling next to his lying figure, caressing his face, completely covered in his own blood. “Why did you come here?” He asks slowly, sounding almost as a whisper. “Why did you come? You were already sick. We- We have to take you back to the castle, If we are fast enough-” His raspy voice stops you from talking any further. “This is the end. Don’t worry about me, but the kingdom, that’s what being a queen means”

Tears fall down your cheeks, until they are stopped by his big hand, wiping them off. “Dad” You call him in between loud cries. “I love you, more than anyone” He whispers, as his eyes close slowly, losing the last bits of life in him. Your cries get louder, as you hold onto his big cold hands, giving yourself a second to process it. After a while, you get up, slowly, supporting yourself on the ground as you do, and then you lift your sword up screaming “Who killed him? Who killed the king?” Your eyes fix on the bloody ground and, this time with a lower tone you ask “Who killed my father?”

Everyone’s eyes are on you, contemplating the scene, without saying anything nor making a single sound. “I did” The tall boy in front of you says, getting his helmet off. That’s when you realize the man you spared minutes ago, the man you felt bad about, was not only the enemy’s king, but also your father’s killer. “You….” You say slowly, lifting your head, to look at Doyoung’s face, as he breathes in and out, recovering from his battle. “I’m gonna kill you” You scream, lifting your sword in his direction, but a strong arm stops you. “Let him be” Mark whispers in your ear.

Mark was your father’s bestman, always protecting him and the reason why he survived previous wars, so for you, the fact that he was defending Doyoung made no sense at all. “Why?” You ask him, starting to cry once again. “Why shouldn’t I kill him?” Your screams make the boy step back, letting you do whatever you wanted, but the moment your sword touches Doyoung’s neck, making a light cut on it, you realize how you’re unable to do it, even if you wanted to. “I’m not like you” You tell him, getting your sword off his skin.

“Let’s go home” You tell Mark, as you walk away from the scene.

Once in the castle, everything gets cleared out by Mark. “Your father wanted peace between the two kingdoms, that’s why we can’t attack them from now on” His calm voice starts explaining. “How are we gonna be in peace, he killed the king” You protest at his words.

“They don’t know that, and you two…” Something in the way he stops his sentence, scares you out. “What? We two what?” Your concerns can be noticed in the way you speak. “He ordered you two to get married” The boy says, looking down, already knowing what your reaction was gonna be like. “Married?! Are you crazy? I’m not gonna marry anyone and I won’t marry my father’s killer. There’s no way I’m doing that.”

“People don’t like to be under a woman’s control” Mark says with a low voice. “I’m the Queen, I’ve been preparing for this moment my whole life, and I don’t need to marry him or anyone to be a good Queen”

“I know that, but they don’t” Mark says slowly. You try to think of the situation, if your father ordered that, there might be a reason. But then, again, he was killed by that boy, that wasn’t a good sign. How were you gonna even appreciate him, he was so… disgusting in your eyes. And people would even expect you to have kids.

The only thing you really wanted was to make decisions about the kingdom, help people, change unfair situations, just be a good Queen, like your father taught you. But you knew how people didn’t like the way a woman could govern a whole kingdom on her own, so maybe he was right and you needed to get married in order to get what you wanted. Also, marrying him meant stopping the war in between the two kingdoms and letting soldiers rest, the economy get better, and in general help your kingdom grow.

“I’ll think about it” You tell him, before you run towards your room. You take off the last pieces of the heavy armor, and look into the big mirror in front of you, recalling the moment of your father’s death. You can’t help but be mad about him. Your father wasn’t a bad soldier, and that boy was injured, he could’ve won for sure. You sigh loudly, letting yourself fall onto your big bed. Your eyes look at the ceiling, as you keep thinking about what happened and how it happened.

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Doyoung’s horse fastly gets closer to the given position. The pact was clear, the king had to die in order to regain peace in between the two kingdoms. Since he killed Doyoung’s father in the previous war, people weren’t so happy about him, but his daughter was seen with different eyes. Everyone admired her fierce yet peaceful personality and her beautiful looks. So the king agreed on having a fake honor death, to let the kingdoms live in peace.

The young boy gets off his horse, slowly walking towards the already injured old man. “Are you sure about it?” He asks, with a low voice tone, and the old man simply nods, not fighting back to the sword’s pain. He falls onto the ground. Pain could be perceived in his eyes, as he tried his best not to scream nor cry. Doyoung kneels down next to him, and grabbing his hand he whispers “Let go, it won’t hurt as bad” But the old man’s pride was over the need for rest. A smile forms on Doyoung’s face, as in his head the image of that man turns into his own father’s last moments.

Heavy steps are heard nearby, making him stand again. When he sees that girl arrive all he can think about is the moment he found his father’s dead body, feeling compassion about the situation, he steps aside. The whole scene passes by pretty fastly, almost like the boy didn’t want to go through that at all. “Let’s go home” He whispered with a low, concerned voice to his best man, who had been watching all along, wanting to make sure he was alright, yet too scared to interrupt.

The ride home felt eternal for both of them. On one hand Doyoung couldn’t stand how Renjun checked on him as if he was some sort of sick man, unable to control his feelings. And on the other hand, the young new princess was battling over sadness and anger, getting a bittersweet sensation after her father’s death.

“So, you already love her” Renjun says, giving up on his never ending questions and letting his back rest on the carriage’s soft seat. “Where does that come from?” He asks, raising a brow to the shocked boy. “Were you even listening?” His offended voice made Doyoung’s blood boil out of anger. “I was, and you just came up to that idea out of nowhere” He defensively replies, getting his handkerchief to apply some pressure over his injury.

“I care about the kingdom Renjun, like my father did” His voice starts off sounding firm and calmed, as it was usual on him, but as the word father comes in, a sad and melancholic tone can be appreciated too. “Okay, I was just saying that your eyes soften when they look at her face” The young boy replies without a single hint of empathy for Doyoung, who simply sighs as an answer.

But it was certainly something growing inside the young King’s heart, something he hardly got to experience throughout his life. Something confusing and fascinating.

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It was finally the big day, and you couldn’t help but curse over your own name, for accepting such a simplistic and unwanted future for yourself, for letting every single drop of ambition drown and disappear in a lake of sadness. Destiny wasn’t your main belief, but certainly this wasn’t made for you.

“I’m just saying that I don’t even appreciate him, I hate that man” You scream to Guangheng, who was the butler assigned to help you prepare for the wedding, while he could also make sure that you wouldn’t run away. “It needs to be done” He replies, with a simple and emotionless voice tone, which makes you return to reality, realize why you were doing this and how you needed to go along with it.

“Hey” Mark enters the room, instantly noticing the heavy atmosphere and comprehending the situation. “Hey, look if you don’t want to do this it’s fine, we can always run away right?” He looks at you for reaffirmation but all he gets is a sad look. “Right?” He repeats, looking at the serious butler now, who replies with a deadly glare that speaks on its own. “You guys are really no fun at all. Look most of the queens marry the old ugly king and get some affairs right after, you got a young decent looking man, I wouldn’t protest if I were you” His words get inside your head, making you mad at him, maybe just projecting the anger you felt about yourself onto someone else, to make the guilt fly away for a second.

“Then be me” You simply reply grabbing your crown and placing it over the boy’s head. Remember the make the guilt fly away thing? Well, it didn’t work.

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“Yes I do” Doyoung’s eyes were truly filled with that something that only Renjun could notice, the way he looked at the girl wasn’t usual on the young king, but for those, who weren’t used to being around him it could be impossible to notice. “Yes I do” The contrast in the girl’s voice, body language and expression, were enough to tell apart the difference between who was being forced to get married and who wasn’t.

The wedding went on as usual royal weddings do, a lot of celebration and happiness, from everyone except the married couple. But the spacious garden of the queen’s castle was lonely enough for her to think and get a break from acting happy. You see, there’s sometimes that sorrow can’t be completely buried under a fake smile. And that’s what the queen was going through, even if she thought the king wouldn’t notice the way her eyes were full of tears, that wasn’t enough to fool him.

She was sitting on an old looking swing, decorated with all sorts of flowers, making it look like another branch of the big old tree it was hanging on. “Do you come here often?” Doyoung’s voice in the distance is the last thing that the girl wanted to hear, since all she was seeking at the moment was peace and silence.

“Go away please” Her forced voice whispers, and even if it’s the softest kind of sound that you could possibly imagine, the boy hears it as clear as if it was his own thoughts, but still he pretends like he didn’t, just to have an excuse to get closer to the girl that he could now call his wife. “That corset might hurt” He points out when he notices the restrictive piece of clothing on the girl’s white dress. “It does, but I can’t take it off” She replies, fixing her sight away from the boy, since every look inside his dark eyes made her blood boil.

“May I?” The boy asks, almost touching the girl’s corset laces. “Sure” She simply replies, making the boy’s fingertips grab the laces carefully as his skillful hands were unmaking the tight hold of the said corset. He tied it in a way that it still looked somehow tight but without the pressure that it implied. “Are you used to working with corsets?” The girl asks with an ironic tone, hiding her genuine curiosity.

“My mother taught me how to tie and untie them” His gentle voice replies, as he sits on the ground, full of soft flowers that almost feel like sitting over a cloud. “Have you worn them?” She asks, turning her head slightly, not enough to look at him, but definitely enough to let him see her face. “I did. It’s a nice protection from swords” His words were genuine, but it sounded unreal.

“You’re telling me that you’ve worn corsets for fights?” The girl asks, with a noticeable doubt tone to her sentence, provoking the boy to chuckle as he nods. Doyoung’s gentle hands slowly lift his shirt, revealing a white corset tied even tighter than the girl’s one. “Oh” The girl just says processing the unusual situation.

After a short but painfully awkward silence, both laugh nervously. “I’m sorry about your dad” Doyoung says with a serious and low voice tone which completely breaks the peaceful atmosphere. “Wow, you really are incredible” The girl says, standing up from the swing and walking away, without letting him protest for a single second.

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You start running only when you’re sure he can’t see you anymore. Tears keep falling down your cheeks as you repeat to yourself how stupid you have been, by letting the idea of the young king being good to appear in your brain. You were by the lake, sitting on the soft grass as your now bare feet touched the freezing water, provoking goosebumps to run all over your body.

“He’s not that bad” Mark’s voice sounded in the distance and you instantly stopped crying, not wanting him to see you being vulnerable. “I don’t care about what my dad said, nor what people think of me. I don’t need a man and I certainly don’t need him” Your voice is firm and steady, not hesitating about the words that have been on your mind for quite a long time now.

“Well it’s too late to say that, don’t you think?” Mark sits next to you, getting his expensive looking shoes off so that he could feel the cold water as well. “Don’t you think people will pity a sad widow?” You ask, finally looking at the boy’s face. His eyes fix on yours, processing what you just said. “You know you could never kill him” His soft voice whispers, as he looks down to the grass.

Your hand looks for the bottle you’ve been working on for the past months, showing it off to him. Mark looks at the glass bottle, and its black content, laughing right away. “If the thought of it makes you feel better, you can work on poison for years, but you know you’re not that type of person”

“But what if I am? What if I want to avenge my father? Can’t I?” The emotions in your voice are more than noticeable, nobody expected you to act like nothing happened, so there’s no surprise in Mark’s eyes when he notices tears filling your eyes. His hand cups your cheek softly, caressing your soft skin in slow motions. “You don’t need to go through this alone” He whispers, getting closer to you as he does.

“I wish we could be kids again” You say, sniffing as you try to get your tears out of the way. “Okay, what if” He says, smiling at his sudden thoughts. “What if?” You ask intriguedly, looking at the boys eyes directly. “What if we act like we did when we were kids, just today, and then we go back to our boring adult lives” You smile at his idea. “Just today” You repeat, grabbing his hand, still on your right cheek and once more, the boy repeats “Just today”

You stand up, untying the knot Doyoung previously left on your corset. Slowly you get the different pieces of clothing off you until you are just in your underwear and just then, you jump into the lake. The freezing water feels somehow warmer, as your body is filled with adrenaline. Shortly after you feel the big splash of water when Mark jumps in, swimming closer to you. “It used to be warmer back then” The boy says shivering because of how cold it was. You laugh at his cute reaction to the lake’s water. “It’s winter you dummy, of course it’s colder” You say, patting his head, as if it would warm him.

“How come you are not cold?” His cute voice asks, almost like a whisper, but this time it’s not because he wanted to, but because he really couldn’t talk louder. You grab his shoulders and pull him closer to you, giving him a hug to help him warm up. His arms grab your waist, pulling you even closer and, slowly he begins to understand the nature of your warmth.

As kids you two would always play around, train, fight, swim, jump, run, but now you were forced to stay in the palace, put on corsets, smile, and “act like a queen” this jump, even the party was the most exciting thing you’ve done since the war finished. His hug tightens, as he thinks about what you had to go through, how you had to forget who you were, and what you loved for something you didn’t even ask for. “Are you okay?” You ask him, feeling how his body stopped shivering a few minutes ago.

“I am” He whispers, caressing your hair with his hand. “You know, I’ve always loved your hair” You laugh nervously, not understanding what’s gotten into the boy. “When we were kids you said it was your pride, and you never let anybody cut it, or touch it”

“You’re right” You say slowly, remembering how you used to be in those times. “And you always tried to touch it, just to make me mad” You add, smiling at the innocent memories. “Until the day you let me” He pulls off the hug slowly, as he looks at your face cupping your cheek with his cold hand. “I hope that the king earns to touch it as much as I did” You smile, getting closer to him. “He will never be like you” You say and the boy only replies with a kiss on your forehead, before he swims away, and gets out of the lake.

“You better get dressed before someone undesirable passes by” He says and, after a second he walks away.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a mix of feelings, a really confusing one. Watching from the distance truly felt like something wrong to be doing, but the way she smiles, has fun, the way she looks at him… That’s all Doyoung was seeking for. It was strange to feel this way for a girl he barely knew, but deep inside he felt like he had known her for his whole life, and having the dramatic story in between them seemed like an unfortunate and cruel destiny.

But when the boy’s hand rests on the girl’s cheek, it is too much for the young king to handle. His blood was boiling from jealousy so he decided to let it go and walk into the party again. The girl’s palace was really different from what he was used to. The boy always lived in his dark Gothic castle that looked more like a giant empty cathedral, always with a lot of rules to follow and ridiculous restrictions to one’s behaviour. But this castle was light, colorful, and you could feel the freedom within every step you took over the marble floor.

Doyoung gets lost in the feeling of that unusual freedom that could have overwhelmed the strongest person in the world, but a gentle touch of a familiar hand, wakes him up from his trance. “How is your married life going?” Renjun asks with a soft yet deep voice, making sure that the question wouldn’t sound too harsh or personal.

“It’s hard to tell a difference, when we barely talk to each other” The boy replies, getting one of the numerous glasses filled with an unknown alcoholic beverage that he took in in a single gulp. “She’s a hard girl to get” The innocent boy replies and immediately Doyoung’s hand is over the boys neck, warning him as he slowly says “Don’t you dare talk shit about her in my presence”

“Calm down” Renjun whispers, taking the older’s hand off his own neck. The looks that both of them exchange is enough for them to communicate to each other how they feel in that exact moment.

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The cold sensation of the water was fastly replaced with a warm one as your body entered the hot bath water, full of rose petals and bubbles. You wouldn’t normally take a bath, since just a shower seemed more than enough for you, but this was on the castle maids, and you couldn’t refuse a special gift like that.

The bathroom was positioned right next to the shared bedroom so when Doyoung entered after the party was over, you could perfectly hear him. In your mind, your plan was already plotting itself, you could try to be nice and offer him a cup of tea with a few drops of poison and after that, the throne would be all yours, no king, no limits, just you. So you, excited for the plan, got out of the bathtub, slowly drying your body with a soft white towel.

The moment you got out of the bathroom, you could feel it in his eyes, the way he stared at you, he was suspecting something from you for sure. “Would you like a cup of tea?” You sweetly ask and he simply hums as a reply. You were now pouring the boiling water over the leaf pieces, making a scented steam go everywhere around the house. You made sure to pour just enough poison to kill him without making it obvious that you did.

He grabs the cup with two fingers, trying his best not to burn himself in the process. “Under any other circumstances I would have let you do this. But I have a promise to keep, therefore, I won’t drink your poison, hope you understand” His sweet soft voice says, as he walks into the bathroom, spilling the tea on the sink. You look at him, both confused and surprised.

“Why aren’t you angry?” You whisper, almost as if you didn’t want him to hear you. “Because I would have done the same thing if I were you” The boy clears out. You can only find yourself speechless, as you watch his body disappearing through the big doors. “I will sleep in another room, until you want to share a bed” He says just before the doors close.

Heavy breathing isn’t new for you, but this time, it feels like you are not breathing at all, your chest hurts, your head gets dizzy and the world gets blurry. You try your best to breathe normally, but all you can really do is cry yourself to sleep. You almost killed a man, the man you married, just to get more power for your own, and you still wanted to think that you were all about satisfying people’s needs.

Dreams are a weird thing to describe and so are nightmares, but it’s obvious you’re in one when monsters appear, or when someone who is dead, is still alive.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A scream wakes the young king up, and as soon as he identifies who it comes from, he gets even more worried than he already was from the initial shock. He gets his sword and runs over to the big bedroom where the queen was resting, and when he opens the door he finds her bleeding and crying loudly.

He sits next to her before even making sure there’s nobody else in the room. He tries to calm her down, while he makes sure the injury on her dorsal is only a superficial cut and nothing to be worried about. “Hey, hey look at me, everything is fine, okay?” He cuts his shirt off, tying the fabric around the wound to stop the blood from coming out. His hands rest now on the girl’s cheeks, carefully caressing her soft skin.

His firm grip on the queen’s face forces her to look into his dark hypnotizing eyes. Tears slowly drop from her eyes, making two small waterfalls to form on her cheeks. “Who did this?” Doyoung asks and she can only cry harder as she gets into a warm tight hug from the boy.

The situation is still unclear a couple of hours later, now having the whole castle workers in the room makes it look far more serious. Of course, an attempt of killing the queen was a serious topic, but the dense atmosphere created by all the different eyes focused on the queen’s stomach was pretty much useless, except for the anxiety growing up inside the girl’s head.

Yet everyone left with the firm words of the new king, who made sure nobody except him and the queen were now in the room. The cut stopped bleeding almost completely by now and just the look in his eyes could ask the question without the need of words, but he asked it anyway “Who did this?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words come and go in your mind and there’s no actual way to focus on something to understand what’s going on or what people are saying, but his voice, you hear his voice clear and loud, as if it was the only sound in the world. “Who did this?”

But that was not a question you could properly answer. There was no right answer since the root of the problem was nobody’s fault. Yet the carrier of the knife had a name, and that name was yours. So you decide to stay silent and show him the knife you were still holding in your hands.

“I’m sorry” was the only thing you managed to say to the confused looking boy. He didn’t question it tho. He, instead, decided he would protect you in a way you were far from understanding. But let’s not anticipate events.

His body laid right next to yours, his large hands, were posed over your injured stomach, making it feel better. Making you feel safe. But the constant reminder of the moment you went out of control, the moment you harmed yourself without being able to stop it nor control it in any way kept haunting you.

But every thought you had, disappeared with the sound of his voice, his sweet and lovely voice as he started singing an old lullaby. It seemed effortless but, at the same time, he was hitting all the right notes. And just like that the sweet and calmed melody made you fall asleep instantly.

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There isn’t a real connection between strangers, but enemies just have that undertone added to their lore that seems almost right to fall in love with each other. That’s the reason for the thought that enemies and lovers are such similar concepts. Both have that dramatically intense feeling to it. And that’s how the queen felt.

A man that she could’ve been happy to see dead was gently caressing her hair in an empty bedroom with such a romantic atmosphere and she was in fact feeling it. Doyoung, on the other hand, he felt completely different. Since he was a little boy he had been told how the enemies could never be trusted and how he should fight to death for his kingdom.

But for the boy, the idea of hating that peaceful looking girl, as she fell asleep on his lap to the sound of his voice, was something he could’ve never done. He always imagined how he would marry someone like her when he was a kid. But he wasn’t fully conscious of the responsibility that it all implied. It is hard for someone who hardly ever socialized to get into a romantic relationship. And he realized in the moment that he noticed she was a human, who makes mistakes and has stuff to deal with, just like him, just like everyone.

It’s a weird thing to think about when you are lonely, but being next to someone isn’t always like we all imagine, and certainly Doyoung had never thought of it that way. We all picture our perfect partner to be there at all times, to have a perfect life and to be able to listen to our concerns but love is far away from that concept. The level of complexibility implied can be at times suffocating.

But the good part about it is that the boy truly loved her, and there was nothing that could make him feel differently. Therefore his gentle long fingers kept on caressing the soft skin of the girl’s face until he helplessly fell asleep as well.

The morning light brought with it a nice and warm feeling as the sunlight rested gently over the couple. Doyoung was quick to wake up as he was used to strict schedules. His first thought that morning was about the posture he fell asleep to, with the girl on his arms, kind of compromising him and making him hesitate to move. And even with the awkwardness that it implied, he couldn't hide his smile.

Masterlist –requests open–

#nct imagine #nct reactions #kpop #kpop imagine #nct #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop scenario #nct scenarios #requests open #doyoung fanfic #doyoung imagines #doyoung #doyoung nct #nct127

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seokjinsdisciple · 3 years

Text

It’s a Deal - eight

supernatural! johnny x reader x jaehyun, mate!au

Word Count: 2.3k

not a great update but oh well

tags: @thatonekpopsweater, @queen-of-himbos , @yourchasingsunsetslove, @a-brooding-bird, @sokkigarden, @tardis-world, @etherealbyeol, @mylovelyjisungie

i made a plalist! listen if you want!! spotify | apple music

send me a dm or an ask to be on the taglist

warnings: language, supernatural stuff, arguing, death, lowkey panic, crying, i think thats it

series masterlist

You were wrapped in the comfiest fuzzy blanket you owned, legs draped over Johnny’s lap and head resting on Jaehyun’s chest.

“Why do you get the whole couch?” Jaehyun whined, the rumbling of his chest wiggling your head.

“Because it’s my house, and I bought it,” you said back, never taking your eyes from the tv.

“We’d have a lot more space if we were at the palace,” he snarked back, letting out a huff of air as Johnny smacked him on the back of the head, “What? You know it's true!”

“You can go back to the palace whenever you want,” you added, grinning at his pinch to your side.

“You’re trying to get rid of me!” He pouted, returning the slap to the back of the head he’d gotten to Johnny after he let out a chuckle.

The three of you fell back into silence, Jaehyun’s fingers carding through your hair as you watched the show playing on the tv. You could feel yourself drifting off to sleep, the warmth from your blanket and the two boys surrounding you making it almost impossible to keep your eyes open. You managed to tear your eyes open as Jaehyun stiffened beneath you, looking questioningly between him and Johnny, who had stood up.

“What’s going on?” you grumbled, sitting up as Jaehyun practically pushed you from his lap. You watched the two brother’s closely, heart rate increasing as you noticed the sullen look on Johnny’s face. Jaehyun looked even paler than normal, his eyes locked onto Johnny’s in a panic that you had never seen before.

“Doyoung just killed our father,” Johnny spoke lowly, eyes never leaving Jaehyun’s.

You glanced uneasily at Jaehyun, “So he’s...he’s the king now?”

“We need to go back, Jae,” Johnny spoke, “It’s not safe for you here.”

Jaehyun just nodded slowly, the panic on his face only increasing as they pulled on their coats.

“You’re coming with us,” Johnny added, tossing your coat to where you sat stunned on the couch.

“But my finals are tomorrow!” you protested weakly, not saying another word as Johnny shot you a look. You shrugged your coat on, not saying anything as Jaehyun grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers.

The palace was much different from the last time you had been here. The flowers in the front withered and lifeless. The colors in all of the halls were muted, as if the King dying had killed the palace too.

“It is kinda like that,” Johnny glanced at you, “It’ll stay this way until Jae’s coronation.”

“Why?” you asked, wincing slightly as Jaehyun squeezed your hand tightly, his eyes glazed over and focused straight in front of him.

“The king’s power is directly tied to the palace and the land, so when a king passes away the land kinda dies with it. At least until another king is crowned and it has power to feed from again.”

You nodded, falling silent as the doors to the ballroom swung open. You were met with some of the familiar faces that had watched you so closely from the small thrones around the king the night you had been announced as Jaehyun’s future wife. There were some faces you hadn’t seen before, but from the sullen looks on their faces you figured they were either family or very close advisors.

You let go of Jaehyun’s hand, falling behind him as all eyes on the room flickered to the three of you.

“Where the hell were you?” a dark haired boy said, jaw clenching as he glanced from Jaehyun to Johnny, scoffing as his gaze fell onto your form, “Of course.”

“Mark,” Johnny tensed, “Enough.”

“You literally have one job Johnny!” The boy, Mark, raised his voice, “Protect the family, and instead you’re off with your-”

“Quiet,” Jaehyun’s voice sounded from beside you, his authoritative tone enough to have everyone in the room’s attention, “I understand you’re upset. We all are. But rather than fighting with, and blaming each other, we need to band together and fucking kill that bastard.”

“Whatever you say, your majesty,” Mark spoke, sarcasm dripping from his words as he bowed lowly towards Jaehyun. Not giving Jaehyun a chance to say anything as he walked past him, knocking his shoulder into Jaehyun’s as he walked out of the door.

“Give him some time, dear,” a middle aged woman spoke up, soft smile doing nothing to hide her reddened eyes, “You know how close he was with your father.”

Jaehyun just gave a curt nod, walking over to where the rest of the group stood.

“Let’s get to work then,” he spoke, sweeping his hand in front of him, a table of roots appearing immediately in front of the family, “Johnny, fill me in on the position of our men, and the last known location of Doyoung’s men.”

Johnny stepped up to the table, flicking his wrist as a map unfolded on the table. Before he began talking he glanced towards you.

“Jeno, Jaemin,” He called, “Why don’t you give YN here a tour of the palace?”

The two familiar boys just shot each other a glance before walking over to you and practically dragging you from the room. They closed the door quickly shooting weary smiles to each other before the barely taller one slung his arm around your shoulder.

“I’m Jaemin,” he grinned, “and that’s Jeno.”

“Hi,” you spoke, returning their smiles.

“We swear the palace is usually way more fun than right now,” Jeno added, grabbing one of your hands and urging you to start walking.

“I mean seriously,” Jaemin rolled his eyes, “One assassination and you’d think the world was ending!”

You glanced at him, thoroughly confused at how he could speak so casually about the death of his father.

“Mm,” Jaemin laughed, “Jae was right, it’s way too easy to get into your brain.”

“Not our father,” Jeno grinned, “Our mother’s the Queen, but that man was as far from a father to us as he could’ve been.”

“I resent the fact that you’re ‘getting into my brain’ or however you put it,” you mumbled, holding back from asking if the King was just a shitty father or if the Queen had an affair.

“Just a shit father really,” Jeno added, giving you a sheepish smile as you shot a glare at him.

“If you really don’t like others listening to your thoughts you could ask Mark to help,” Jaemin spoke up.

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” you said, almost bumping into the door where the boys had halted.

“Mark was our dad’s favorite, so he’s taking this pretty hard,” Jeno said.

“He’ll get over it though,” Jaemin added, dramatically swinging the door in front of you open.

You felt your jaw drop, the enormous room that you were peeking into was filled floor to ceiling with books. You couldn’t help but step into the library, looking at every part of the room.

“Johnny said you’d like the library,” Jeno smiled proudly, standing beside you and glancing around the room too.

“This is incredible,” you breathed, walking over to the nearest bookshelf and running your hand over the spines.

“Ok, yes it has books. Whoop dee doo,” Jaemin groaned from behind you, “There’s a million cooler rooms in this palace. Can we please move on now?”

“You can explore this room more tomorrow,” Jeno added, laughing as Jaemin desperately tugged on Jeno’s wrist.

“So tell us more about how you and Johnny met,” Jaemin prodded, his arm returning to your shoulders as you walked together down the halls. You were quickly learning that Jaemin was more mischievous of the two brothers, Jeno being much quieter and calmer than him.

“Uh, well we had a class together our first year,” you said, “and we had the same major so we were kinda always together.”

“I didn’t realize he seriously went to human school,” Jeno said, a thoughtful look passing his face as you just nodded.

“Have you fucked him yet?” Jaemin asked, wiggling his eyebrows as you choked on air.

You stuttered as memories from freshman year flashed in your mind. Johnny’s back muscles rippling against your skin, his abs glistening with sweat.

“Oh my god he has bedded you!” Jeno practically yelled, slightly disgusted look completely opposite of Jaemin’s knowing smirk.

“Was he good?”

“Jaems I am not answering that!” You said, shrugging his arm from your shoulder and lightly smacking him.

“It’s ok, doll,” Jaemin said, rubbing the spot you had smacked with his free hand, “We both know what you are thinking.”

You just groaned, hitting Jaemin first and then deciding to hit Jeno too. That’s for reading my mind you assholes.

“It’s not our fault,” Jeno pouted, “You’re practically screaming them at us.”

“Just get on with the tour,” you sighed, trying your best to keep your mind empty as they returned to their mission. They led you to the kitchen, through four dining rooms, around the art gallery and into the game room. Constantly making fun of your looks of awe. They hurried you through the jewel room, pointed out the gym and swimming pools. They even led you to the liquor room, Jaemin pressing a finger to his lips as he grabbed a bottle of wine.

Jaemin pointed out far too many bedrooms for you to remember, laughing as you tried to figure out who the hell half of the people he was even naming were. He pointed out both Jaehyun’s and Johnny’s room, giving you a knowing look as you tried to commit both of the locations to memory.

It was with a smile that you found yourself stumbling down a familiar hallway, Jeno pointing out his room, and then your own room.

“And at the very end of the hallway is my room,” Jaemin winked, “So if you ever need someone to keep your bed warm, you know where to find me.”

“I really hope you’re kidding, brother,” Johnny’s voice rang out from behind the three of you.

“You know I always am,” Jaemin smiled easily, giving you a short wave before walking the rest of the way down the hallway and into his bedroom.

Jeno looked awkwardly between where you and Johnny stood before muttering out a quick goodnight and walking to his room.

“I hope they didn’t bother you too much,” Johnny said, walking closer to you and taking you by the hand, “The twins can be a lot to handle.”

“They were mostly nice,” you smiled at him, laughing as you heard Jaemin swear at you from down the hallway. Johnny smiled back at you, but you could tell he was exhausted.

“Am I that easy to read?” he asked, pulling you into your room.

“Mhmm,” you nodded, letting him pull you onto one of the couches in your room, “You wanna talk about it?”

Johnny just slid his hands across his face, in some attempt to relieve some of the tension in his body.

“I just feel like this is my fault,” he started, playing with your fingers as he talked, “I should’ve been here to prevent the attack.”

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, “If anything, I feel like it’s mine. I’m just some helpless human girl that has no business being involved in any of this. You were just trying to make sure I was ok.”

“Yeah but that was for completely selfish reasons,” he groaned, “and to be honest I’m feeling kinda guilty because I think I’d still make the same decision.”

“Can I ask why?” you spoke quietly, meeting his eyes, “Why are you so set on protecting me?”

“I can’t tell you that yet,” he said simply, looking away from you. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments after that, the air heavy around you as you thought.

“When can I go back?”

Johnny looked over to you, and you could tell by the look in his eyes that you weren’t going back anytime soon.

“It’s just safer for you to be here,” Johnny said, looking down at the hand that was intertwined with yours, “and now that Jaehyun has...transitions to make it’s important you’re around as many people who can protect you as you can.”

The two of you jumped slightly as a loud knock rang out on your door.

“It’s Jaehyun,” Johnny said, pressing a kiss to your temple, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You watched as his form disappeared with a snap, the space where he had been sitting next to you, now empty. You got up as another knock sounded at the door.

As soon as you threw the door up Jaehyun was hugging you, his shoulders shaking as he whimpered. You immediately hugged him back, pulling him into your room and out of the hallway.

He was almost choking on his sobs, and you patiently held him until he calmed down.

“M sorry,” he hiccuped, “It’s just, you’re the only one I can show my weaknesses too.”

“Don’t apologize,” you said, rubbing his back as he still clung to you.

“I don’t even want to be King,” he whispered, “I never have. I used to think that it would be a long time before it would happen, and I- I just thought I had more time. I’m not going to be any good at it.”

“Jaehyun you’ll be a fine king.”

“I’m not ready,” he whispered, “Everyone thinks I’m this perfect prince, ready for anything but they have no idea.”

You ran your fingers through his hair, his breathing regulating. He sniffled as he pulled away from you. His shy smile, teary eyes and flushed cheeks enough to have your heart racing.

“Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?” he asked, “I just don’t think I can bear sleeping alone tonight.”

“Of course,” you smiled back, wiping the tears from his eyes before you both began getting ready for bed.

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hyuniepot · 3 years

Text

enigma || qian kun

e·nig·ma • /iˈniɡmə/ • noun

a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

pairing || kun x reader

genre || college au

word count || 2,715

warnings || mentions of alcohol and smoking

author’s note || tbh this started out as a longer fic but... something in me really wanted it to end when it did. but maybe there could be a part 2 someday idk idk (also apologies for repeating text again, tumblr is rlly out to get me)

You’re annoyed.

It’s cold. Your shoes are soaked from walking through puddles left behind from the rain showers earlier in the day. Your best friend, Hana — the one who begged you to come to this party — was talking your ear off. Usually, dealing with her chatterbox self was easy, but you weren’t in the mood to talk.

“I think I’m nervous,” she says. “I feel like if I stop talking I’m gonna start freaking out! I mean, how am I supposed to be calm going to a party like this?”

You furrow your brows. “Don’t you go to parties like this every weekend?” you question.

You roll your eyes. “Sure,” you sigh. You spot a huge house coming into view with lights flashing from the inside and floods of people entering. “So, whose house is this?”

“Johnny’s,” Hana replies. “His parents own this place, but whenever they’re out of town, he uses it to throw the best parties at least once a year.”

“How cliche…” you mumble.

You finally enter the house alongside Hana. The loud music and all the smells immediately send you into sensory overload. Hana grabs onto your hand and leads you into the kitchen.

“Oh, hey!” A guy with brown hair greets Hana as soon as she walks in. “I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Johnny!” she grins. “Sorry for the wait, I took way longer getting ready than I wanted.”

“No problem, the party's just getting started! So I’m assuming this is the friend you were telling me about?” Johnny turns his attention to you. His gaze is intense.

Hana nods. “Yep, dragged them here with me. I just knew I had to, parties like this are always the best.”

Johnny nods, grinning slightly. His eyes are still burning into you. “She’s right. You’re gonna have a blast.”

You nod and smile just to be polite. Your eyes dart around the room trying to avoid Johnny’s. They’re like daggers. Hana grabs two drinks and before either of you have a chance to say anything, nods to a nearby doorway.

You follow her into the other room and take a seat next to her on an empty sofa. It doesn’t take long before she gets distracted again.

“Oh! Doyoung! Yuta!” she waves to two boys across the room. They both turn to her and smile before making their way over to where you were both sitting.

“Hey,” Doyoung says. You knew him pretty well, you had a class with him and a few mutual friends as well. “Didn’t know you guys would be here.”

You shrug. “Always expect the unexpected,” you joke, taking a red cup from Hana’s hand. You take a sip, cringing from the overwhelming taste of alcohol. You’re not sure why you expected it to taste good. But you had to tough it out and wait until you were buzzed enough to think the alcohol tastes good.

“You guys playing beer pong later?” Yuta asks, sitting down next to Doyoung. “I mean, we need a team we know we can beat,” he says, laughing.

Hana rolls her eyes. “Thanks for the invite, but no. We’re both terrible,” she says. “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

Speak for yourself…

Out of the corner of your eye you see the front door fly open. A tall guy enters, both hands carrying cases of alcohol. Two other people are behind him; you only recognize one — Ten. He was known as “the hot exchange student from Thailand” for a few months before anyone you knew got the guts to talk to him just to find out he was a sweetheart. You had only talked to him a handful of times.

Everyone cheered as the person entered. You assumed it was Jaehyun since multiple people yelled his name. He beamed from all the cheering, dimples appearing on either side of his cheeks; he looked cute, there was no denying it.

Ten weaves his way around Jaehyun and makes his way to where you were sitting, the other boy following behind. Ten picks up a cup from the table. “God, finally I can drink. Jaehyun made me his designated driver as soon as I got here.”

“Is that your drink?” you ask. You were really hoping he didn’t just grab a random cup.

Ten takes a drink, shrugging. “Should be. Looks like it. I told Lucas to guard it but,” he sighs. “He’s nowhere to be seen. As usual. I should know better, asking Lucas to stay still at a party is impossible.”

He puts his arm around the boy standing behind him. “This is Sicheng, by the way. I think you know him, right Yuta?”

Yuta nods. “Yeah. We have a few classes together. Hey.”

Sicheng grins. “Hi, Yuta.”

Sicheng didn’t look like a party person. He looked like you; someone who was dragged to this party by their much more outgoing friend.

“Anyways. It was nice seeing you guys. We need to go find Lucas and Kun.” Ten says. And like that, Ten disappeared into a pool of people surrounding the area where you sat.

You didn’t know either of the people he listed; you were getting more and more used to that.

Jaehyun finally makes his way towards you, still carrying the cases of alcohol. He looks at Doyoung and Yuta and nods towards a group of people behind him. “Beer pong’s starting. Taeyong and Taeil want to take you guys on first.”

Doyoung downs the rest of his drink. “Got it. Let’s go win our first game of the night, Yuta!” They both get up and run out of the room.

“Hey, Jaehyun,” Hana smiles.

Jaehyun smirks. “Hey. It’s been awhile since I saw you last, how are you?” he asks.

“Oh, you know. The usual. Trying to survive my classes. This is my friend by the way, the one I was telling you about.”

They really must enjoy talking about me, huh?

You smile. “Hi.”

Jaehyun nods. “Nice meeting you finally. I’d give you a proper greeting, but,” he raises his arms. “Kinda busy.”

“Right!” Hana says. “Sorry for holding you up.”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. I’m kinda stalling going back into the kitchen, Johnny’s an hour ahead of me. He’s on the road of getting shitfaced,” he chuckles. “I’ll see you guys later, maybe.” he walks away from you and Hana and into the kitchen.

“Okay, let’s go.” Hana stands up and grabs your hand, almost spilling your drink in the process.

“Where?” you ask, getting up from your seat. It takes you a few seconds to collect yourself from almost tripping and spilling your drink.

Hana drags you through a group of people. “To watch the beer pong game! I’ll bet you five dollars that Yuta and Doyoung will lose.”

Everything went as per usual.

You weren’t even surprised as you stumbled up the stairs and through an unfamiliar hallway, praying to find an empty room you could lay down in.

After the first beer pong match (which Yuta and Doyoung lost, so you owed Hana five bucks), you lost Hana, but you stayed with Doyoung and Yuta for a while. You drank too fast and it all hit you at once. You felt nauseous and your head was pounding from the loud music that had been blaring for hours.

You open the first door you see. You see two people in bed. You slam the door shut. “Sorry…” you apologize, squeezing your eyes shut.

You shake your head and continue your way down the hallway. One door is open. You poke your head in, looking around to make sure it was empty and that no one was in the bed. It was empty. You enter, turning on a lamp next to the bed and sitting down on it.

You close your eyes in an attempt to try and soothe your head, but it’s pointless. You were burning up. Were you running a fever?

There’s a balcony connected to the room. You make your way to it and open the doors, the cool air instantly hitting you. It feels amazing. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You smell something familiar in all of this unfamiliarity; Cigarette smoke. It’s unmistakable.

You open your eyes, nearly jumping out of your skin when you see a figure standing on the leftmost side of the balcony. “Shit!” you cry out.

The person just looks at you, cigarette in between their fingers. They blow a puff of smoke before turning their head.

You put your hand on your chest. “Sorry. You scared me.”

“Don’t worry.” they say, sighing.

You step onto the balcony and go to the right, sitting down on a chair. “Um… and sorry for… intruding on you, I guess. I just needed some air.” you say softly. You look towards them.

“It’s alright.” they reply. They turn their head towards you, taking another puff from his cigarette. “I’m Kun.”

The name was familiar. “Kun…” you repeat. “You know Ten, right?”

Kun nods, chuckling a bit. “Yeah. That asshole brought me here knowing I absolutely hate parties.” he sits at a chair identical to yours on his side of the balcony. “I’ve been up here the whole night. I took my chance to hide once he left.”

You grin. “Nice. I don’t blame you. I’m… not much of a partier myself.” you say.

Kun taps his cigarette, small ashes falling from it. He catches you still looking at him. “What? Want a smoke or something?”

You shake your head. “No, no thanks… I don’t smoke.” you tell him.

“Hm,” Kun shrugs and takes another puff. “What are you scared of?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Cancer.”

Kun scoffs. “I’m not talking about the cig. I don’t care that you don’t smoke. I’m asking you what you’re really scared of.”

“Oh,” you say. He actually wants to have a deep conversation within five minutes of meeting. That might be a record. “I don’t know…” you cross your arms. Now that you had cooled off, the air was no longer relieving. “What are you scared of?”

“There’s a reason I asked you,” Kun replies, dropping his cigarette and putting it out with his shoe. “I’m not scared of anything.”

“Oh, come on.” you laugh. “Everyone has a fear, tough guy.”

“Really? Then why won’t you tell me yours?” Kun asks.

You pause. “Because I can’t think straight,” you admit. “And… I have a lot of fears,” you add softly.

“Like what? Death? Bugs?” Kun leans back in his chair.

“I’m scared of death.” you admit. “I don’t really like needles either… or the dark.”

“You have pretty reasonable fears.” Kun replies. “A lot of people tell me they’re scared of those things.”

“But not you, right?” you joke.

Kun shakes his head. “No. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m scared of. I’m not scared of death. I’m a smoker for God’s sake. Needles are gross but I wouldn’t say I’m scared of them. And I have no problem with the dark.” he explains. “Are you scared of the dark or the things in it?”

You think. “I guess the things in it. It’s the unknown.”

“Is that why you got scared when you saw me?” he asks.

You hesitantly nod. “Yeah. That’s the shit I hate.”

It falls silent. “Do you wanna go home?” Kun asks.

You almost get whiplash from how fast he changed the subject. “Depends,” you reply. “Are you trying to get me to come home with you, or…”

Kun chuckles and shakes his head. “No. I’m being serious. I can walk you home, I was planning on leaving after that cigarette.”

“Oh,” you feel your face get hot from embarrassment. “I guess… I live on campus though.”

“I do too,” Kun says, standing up.

“You do?” you join him. “I’ve never seen you.”

“I have morning classes and I don’t do much besides homework in the afternoon so… I’m not out of my dorm a lot unless I’m in dire need of food. Maybe that’s why?” Kun steps back inside and you follow. He closes the balcony doors.

“Yeah,” you had afternoon classes and you had the same schedule as him when it came to after school activities. You had probably passed him without realizing it. “That sounds about right.”

You follow Kun out of the room and down the hallway towards the other side of the house — there was a way to the back door from another staircase. You and Kun were able to leave the house without anyone noticing. Hana would be pissed if she found out you decided to ditch, but you knew she’d be too drunk to get mad. That was for tomorrow.

“Do you know Johnny or Jaehyun?” Kun asks. The party atmosphere slowly fades away.

“Not really. Mutual friends,” you reply. “I came with my friend who knows them pretty well.”

“Ah,” Kun nods. “I’ve known Johnny for a few years now… but you know, every college kid wants to be friends with the party animal so… I don’t get surprised anymore when everyone I meet somehow knows him.”

You chuckle. “I had no idea about all these parties…” you tell him.

“Lucky you,” Kun pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lights one. “I’m always dragged to these things, I end up enjoying them but sometimes but other times, like tonight, I’m just not in the mood. I just wanna sleep.”

“Ditto.” you reply. “Those things are bad for you, you know.” you tell him, as if he hasn’t heard that phrase a million times before.

“Really?” Kun asks, exhaling. “I had no idea.”

The smell of the smoke makes your headache return. But at the end of the day, it’s his body; there’s no point in shaming someone’s addiction.

“Sorry,” Kun sighs. “I know it’s rude to smoke on your face.” he takes one finaly drag before dropping the cigarette and putting it out.

“It’s okay.” you reply. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.” you didn’t know why, but you felt the need to apologize.

“Nah, don’t worry about that,” Kun laughs. “I’ve heard much worse from strangers. Ten is so dramatic about it I have to shower before I see him or he’ll tell me I smell because of the tobacco smell. I’m kinda used to it,”

You giggle. “Sounds exactly like Ten.” you say softly.

The walk back to campus was much shorter than the walk to Johnny’s — at least, it felt that way. Maybe because Kun wasn’t talking your ear off and making your blood boil at the same time.

“I’d love to chat more but, I think this is where we part ways.” Kun says, opening the doors. “I really gotta get to bed because I know Ten’s gonna call me in the morning and yell at me to come pick him up, so…”

You grin. “I’ll probably be in the same predicament,” you tell him.

He nods. “Goodnight.”

You return his nod and start to make your way back to your dorm, but something stops you. “Wait,” you turn to ask Kun if you could have his phone number or if you two could see each other again soon, but he was completely out of sight.

That is when you realized you didn’t want Kun to be a stranger.

54 notes · View notes

jenomark · 3 years

Text

NOVEMBER

➔Pairing: Doyoung x Reader (Female) | Jaehyun x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Plot (ft. smut, romance, angst, fluff etc.) ➔Warnings: -.- ➔Word count: 4,872

➔Summary: You are dating handsome and lovable Jaehyun. You stay at his apartment all of the time, along with his roommate Doyoung. Doyoung has feelings for you, which he doesn’t quite understand. What begins as an innocent crush changes the lives of all three people over the course of seven months.

AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER

Doyoung wasn’t good at break-ups. It felt too interruptive, too much of an inconvenience to his life. Since he was always the one to be broken up with, he was used to hearing the news and pretending it didn’t affect him. He didn’t like crying. His crying face was ugly and never graceful. He also didn’t like people seeing his weaknesses in public, the way he felt like his heart was smashed to pieces, never to be whole again. But he was so used to the feeling, that when it came around again, he knew he could deal with it better.

But this feeling was new. He had never broken up with someone before. As his girlfriend-now ex-girlfriend- stared blankly ahead, he wondered if he was catching a glimpse of himself through her eyes. He gave her so little when she was so kind to him. His bland version of love must have helped her see that the end was near.

“Is there someone else?” she asked.

Doyoung was getting ready to shake his head no, when she blew her nose loudly into the tissue. The warmth and redness came back into her face, as well as a little anger directed his way. No one liked to be broken up with, especially not during a crowded cafe in the afternoon.

“If you tell me there is someone else,” she started to say. She stopped when she noticed he wasn’t looking her in the eyes. “Will you please look at me? It’s the least you can do for me, Doyoung.”

“I’m sorry.” Doyoung said, putting his eyes back on her.

It was hard to look at her when all he saw was you. He wanted very much for there to be a future with you, for you to bring Jaehyun to this same cafe and break up with him. It was all he thought about as he watched the people pass by the cafe, umbrellas open and ready to fight the oncoming storm.

“Is there someone else?” she asked again. “Tell me.”

“No.”

“I’m not stupid.” she said. “Keep that in mind the next time you break up with someone else. Women always know. I know that look. Who is she?”

“She is no one.” he said. “There is no one.”

“She….It’s her, isn’t it? The butterfly girl. ” she said. She let a singular tear roll down her cheek. Doyoung watched it get stuck in the corner of her lip.

“No, it has nothing to do with her.” he said. “This is a decision for me. I’m not ready to be in a relationship right now. I’m sorry. I like you, I really do. I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

In a sense, it was true. It wasn’t just about you and the thought of your lips kissing up his spine. It was about the way he felt rushed into a relationship just to forget you, to forget that the one person he wanted was someone he couldn’t have.

His ex-girlfriend gathered her things hastily. He wasn’t done explaining why he could no longer see her. There was so much he felt he owed her. Instead of taking her hand and stopping her from walking out, instead of graveling on his hands and knees for wasting her time, Doyoung said nothing as she took her things and walked out of his life. He watched her pass by the cafe window, her eyes not caring to look back.

Back at the apartment, Doyoung felt so alone. It was too quiet and cold, too reminiscent of his life before you walked into it. He thought about picking up his phone and calling you to ask where you were, which was always his first thought whenever you were apart. Rather than do that, which might draw questions from Jaehyun, Doyoung sat at the kitchen table and played around with his house keys, winding the circular keyring around his finger, like an actual ring.

Since Halloween, things took an interesting turn. He thought that once the day ended, you would forget about the kisses. You would wake up on November 1st, completely denying the fact that you had both made out for hours, you sitting in his lap on the couch, and him drawing delicate circles on the bare skin of your back. Once Jaehyun came home, the bubble would burst and you would be right back at square one, pretending you didn’t know the things he never told anyone else.

When that didn’t happen, Doyoung didn’t know what to think. The very next day, your eyes lit up when you saw Doyoung walk through the door. He noticed right away, looking at Jaehyun to make sure that he hadn’t. But you didn’t care, even if Doyoung did. You let your arm brush against Doyoung’s during dinner. You joked around and smiled more, keeping the atmosphere light and happy. He would never admit it to you, but Doyoung felt your reaction to him made your and Jaehyun’s relationship more solid. It made Doyoung jealous to know that Jaehyun believed every smile was for him.

In some ways, Doyoung wished you had ignored the situation. It would hurt his heart less. Watching you go back to sleep in Jaehyun’s bed, to kiss him goodbye before work, to tirelessly look after him because of the guilt you’d no doubt feel, felt excruciatingly painful. If you had brushed him away like all of the other times, Doyoung wondered if maybe he would have a chance at surviving you.

It was too much to want, he knew. He took the keyring off and spun it around the table, watching as the metal ring whirled in circles, ready to hypnotize him. He wanted you. He wanted you to want him back. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but there was no outcome where someone wasn’t hurt. He was in pain when you were there, he was in pain when you weren’t there. A smarter man might have called it off and stopped things before he got even more attached, but November came in like a hurricane, sweeping away everything in its path.

He was in love. He was full of it. He broke up with his girlfriend because the love he was saving wasn’t meant for her. He wasn’t even sure he, or Jaehyun, was worthy of being loved by you. If anything ever happened, he just wanted you to be alright, most of all. Because you, to him, was worthy of losing every damn thing over.

Jaehyun came in through the front door first. Doyoung watched the ring spin until it clattered onto the kitchen floor, before he turned to greet his roommate.

“We’re going out tonight,” Jaehyun said, loosening his tie. “All of us. We’re going to party until the sun comes up. “

Doyoung noted how happy Jaehyun looked, like he had won the lottery, or gotten the number of a really pretty girl, both of which Doyoung felt were the same. If it was you, of course.

“I’m too tired and too old. “Doyoung said.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes. “It’s 4:30 P.M, old man.”

“I had a long afternoon.” he said, knowing how lame the excuse sounded.

Jaehyun took his tie off, pulled the kitchen chair out and sat across from him. Jaehyun looked irritatingly handsome and absolutely stress-free, and it annoyed Doyoung. Doyoung often wondered if Jaehyun could feel the sexual tension vibrating in the room whenever you were around. Whenever he was mad at him, he hoped he did. Doyoung figured Jaehyun didn’t, because he looked so happy all of the time.

“I broke up with my girlfriend. “Doyoung said, wondering as soon as the words came out, if he had made a mistake confiding in Jaehyun.

Jaehyun whistled and stood up. He rolled up his sleeves and went to grab two beers from the fridge. He took the caps off and set one down in front of Doyoung, the condensation dripping onto the wooden table.

“It’s 4:30.” Doyoung said.

Jaehyun pushed it closer to him. “It’s 4:31, and that is correct. Drink up.”

Doyoung grabbed the frosty beer and took the smallest of sips. He didn’t like the way it tasted, never did. He winced as the coldness slinked down his throat. He pushed it away from him in disgust. A part of him was scared that if he was ever tipsy in front of Jaehyun, the truth would come out like word vomit. He wasn’t willing to take that chance.

“I got a raise at work.” Jaehyun said. He took a sip of beer and played with the neck of the bottle. “I would like to take you and my girl out to celebrate. I’ll pay for everything, like the kind gentleman I am.”

“That’s definitely kind of you.” Doyoung said.

Jaehyun sat back and crossed his arms. “What is wrong with you? You broke up with her, right? Do you think you made a mistake? You look dead inside, man.”

Doyoung opened his mouth to speak but the front door opened again. Doyoung’s back was facing the door. He didn’t need to turn around to know it was you, or that you would be standing in the doorway feeling awkward, thinking him and Jaehyun might be talking about you. It was much easier to avoid the three of you hanging out together since everyone's schedules were different. Even if you weren’t being cautious, Doyoung still was.

“Why is everyone so quiet?” you asked. “Am I interrupting something?”

Doyoung finally turned around and watched you shiver. He longed to take off his sweater and place it around your shoulders. The weather was getting colder, and your coat was much too thin.

“Do-ie broke up with his girlfriend.” Jaehyun said.

“Jaehyun!” Doyoung said.

“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun said. “Was that a secret? I thought we weren’t keeping secrets here. We’re like a family, and families don’t keep secrets. Besides, it was time you got rid of her. She was so weird around me after the Halloween fiasco.”

You came up beside Doyoung, pulled out the chair in between both of them and slumped down into it. When Doyoung met your eyes, he could see that you felt just as tired as he did. Whether it was mentally or physically, he couldn’t tell. He longed to see himself in your eyes, too.

“I’m sorry.” you said. You placed your hand over Doyoung’s. Your eyes told him you meant it, even though he knew it was what you both wanted. Eliminating guilt from one person seemed the logical next step. Doyoung breaking up with his girlfriend absolved you of everything.

Doyoung grabbed your fingers for a second before releasing them. “It’s okay.”

“Did she cry?” Jaehyun asked.

“Jae…” you said, shooting him a fiery glance.

The table was silent. Doyoung thought he saw something else going on between you and Jaehyun, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Trouble in paradise, maybe. Before he could overanalyze the look, Jaehyun cleared his throat and mentioned how he wanted the three of them to go out for some drinks and a bite to eat.

“I’m tired.” you said. “I think I’m getting a little sick. I had a terrible headache at lunch.”

At the same time, Doyoung and Jaehyun raised their hands up in the air and went to place them on your forehead. When you each saw what the other was doing, Doyoung casually lowered his. Jaehyun pressed the back of his hand against your forehead and declared that it was warm.

“My baby,” he said. “We can go out some other time. My happy news can wait.”

Doyoung practically rolled his eyes. Jaehyun was trying to bait you, trying to get you to feel bad about wanting to stay home instead of supporting your boyfriend. Doyoung had seen him do it a thousand times to you. Doyoung took a swig of the nasty beer and tuned out Jaehyun telling you about the raise, and about how he really wanted to celebrate with you. Then, even though it was harder, he tried his best to tune out how apologetic you sounded, how much it seemed like you would do anything to please him. For the grand finale, Jaehyun would tell you that you should stay home, just to look like the world's most perfect boyfriend. It made Doyoung sick to his stomach.

“You stay home and rest. Me and Doyoung will go out,” Jaehyun said. “And I’ll bring you home some bar food.”

“I’m not going out.” Doyoung said. “I told you, I’m tired.”

Jaehyun didn’t take no for an answer. He got up, downed the rest of his beer, and put his hands on your shoulders. He kept talking about where him and Doyoung would both go, what friends they would link up with, and how happy he was that he was getting more money, because he deserved it. All Doyoung could do was stare off into the distance, his foot playing with the keyring left on the floor.

“I’m going to take a shower and get ready.” Jaehyun said. “We leave at 6, old man.”

Jaehyun kissed your cheek. When he wasn’t satisfied, he took your chin and brought your lips up to his. Doyoung looked away, fighting the urge to spit up all the nasty beer he had drunk. It was quiet in the room until Jaehyun disappeared into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Doyoung could hear you breathing and getting ready to speak before Jaehyun called out and asked for your assistance with washing his back. Doyoung got up while you were away and cleaned the beers up, picked the keyring from the floor, and tried to mentally prepare himself for the night ahead.

You shut the bathroom door behind you, which made Doyoung turn in slow motion. You made eye contact with him. You didn’t look sick or tired anymore. You began to look more lively, but there was still something missing behind your eyes. Doyoung leaned against the kitchen counter and held out his arms for you to come into. You came over and melted into them, warming yourself up against his body.

“You should have been more firm with him. “ you said, your chin resting on his shoulder. “He’s never going to let up if you don’t.”

Doyoung hugged you tighter to him and rubbed your back. You pulled away to get a better look at him. He held your head with both of his hands and brought you in for a kiss. He could hear Jaehyun’s shower running loud and clear, and could feel the fear seeping from his body. His body relaxed, shoulders unguarding his heart. Your body curved into Doyoung’s, pushing him against the counter. There was so much passion in one single kiss. It brought your arms around his neck, and your leg between his, with your knee knocking into the lower cabinet.

Doyoung groaned and said, separating each word with a kiss. “We.” Kiss. “Shouldn’t” Kiss. “Do” Kiss. “This.” Kiss. “Here.”

In response, you kissed him harder. He grabbed your ass and pulled your body even closer to his. He was horny. If Jaehyun wasn’t home, he wasn't sure he would be able to stop himself from taking things all the way. You and him had managed not to cross the line yet. When you were both alone, you would just kiss and cuddle. When Jaehyun was present, you were both fed with little touches here and there, longing looks from across the room, and daytime fantasies. You found intimacy in hanging out with each other, and in not being mad that you both felt something whenever the other walked into the room. Sex was another thing altogether. Doyoung hadn’t had sex with his ex-girlfriend since you kissed the night before Halloween, but he wasn’t the type to rush things. When-if-you ever made love, he wanted it to be perfect. He wanted you both to be all in. He wanted a reprieve from the guilt.

“When should we kiss?” you asked. You smiled.

Doyoung knew you were hoping for some light-hearted joke. What he really wanted to say was that you should kiss whenever you broke up with Jaehyun. Not wanting to ruin how happy he felt in your arms, he kissed your lips again. You hooked your fingers on the waistband of his jeans, your knuckles brushing against his stomach hair. You looked him in his eyes, your gaze dripping with lust.

“I-” Doyoung started to say.

He wanted you to keep going, to unzip his jeans and take him right into your mouth in the kitchen. It was a dirty thought wanting you where Jaehyun could walk out of the bathroom any moment and see. He breathed heavily and closed his eyes. He felt you close to his face, your lips barely brushing against his jawline.

“It’s not a good idea.” Doyoung found himself saying.

“When is it a good idea?” you asked, though your face told Doyoung you already knew the answer to that question.

You let your hands drop to your sides. You kissed Doyoung one last time before pulling away and putting a two-foot distance between you both. Doyoung had to hold himself up against the counter to steady himself.

“When do you think it’s a good idea?” Doyoung asked.

You thought about it for far too long. Doyoung always wondered what went on inside your mind, but his eagerness to know was much stronger now that he got to live a little bit inside of it. He figured he could just flat out ask you, but he was too scared to know the real answer.

“ When there’s a ten second difference between courage and madness.” you finally said.

Doyoung didn’t know what that meant. He went to reach for you again, but the water to Jaehyun’s shower was shut off. You could both hear him singing loudly, his glee trying so desperately to reach anyone in his radius. Doyoung felt you and he were in a bubble, untouched by everything, and that feeling continued until you kissed Doyoung one last time and went into the bedroom to help Jaehyun.

Doyoung sat on the couch alone, with his hands stuffed between his knees. He was in his dressiest polo shirt, feeling like a dumbass. He wore a clean pair of blue jeans and tried to style his hair, but it kept flopping back to his forehead. In an attempt to feel clean without showering, he brushed his teeth and put on cologne. Every bone in his body felt like retiring back to his bedroom, though his brain was flipping through the channels in his mind obsessively. He couldn’t stop thinking about what you said and what it meant. He couldn’t stop touching his fingers to his lips and remembering your kiss.

Jaehyun kept him waiting for twenty more minutes. The bedroom was quiet from the living room. Paranoid, Doyoung was imagining you and Jaehyun having last minute sex. It was impossible, because both you and Jaehyun were so loud, but Jaehyun always did like a challenge. Doyoung checked the time on his watch ( 6:22 pm) and sighed dramatically.

“Be right out!” Jaehyun called. “I’m almost done.”

Doyoung heard a hard knock, like something had fallen over in Jaehyun’s room. There was cursing and laughter. A second later, you came out of the bedroom in your pajamas. You didn’t look flushed like you had just had sex. You looked normal. You looked beautiful, even.

“He is putting on his socks.” you said.

“They must be hard to put on.”

You cocked your head to the side and whispered, “It’s not what you’re thinking. We weren’t doing anything.”

Jaehyun came out of the bedroom looking like a supermodel. Doyoung visibly shuddered at the night ahead. He knew multiple women would come up to them at the bar, all of them looking for a piece of Jaehyun, while ignoring Doyoung beside him. Jaehyun would never cheat on you, but he liked the attention, and entertaining the attention never looked like cheating from the outside.

“Sorry I took so long,” Jaehyun said. “Are you ready now?”

“Yes.”

Doyoung stood up. He looked at you in your pajamas and ignored how he felt when you smiled hopefully at him. Jaehyun closed the distance between you, cutting you out from Doyoung’s line of vision. Without letting him turn back to say goodbye, Jaehyun’s arm was around Doyoung, rushing him out of the door and talking his ear off about the plans. Doyoung barely had enough time to stuff on his shoes let alone think about looking at you.

“We’re going to have so much fun tonight. “Jaehyun said, walking out of the front door. He hadn’t grabbed his coat, and Doyoung briefly wondered if his roommate was human. “I know you don’t do casual sex, but my friends happen to know a few women who might change your mind.”

“No, thank you.” Doyoung said. He closed his jacket tighter around his middle and waited at the curb for the car Jaehyun called to come pick them up.

“So, how did the breaking up go, anyway?” Jaehyun asked. “Was she sad?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“What did you tell her?”

Doyoung didn’t know how much he should divulge to Jaehyun without tipping him off. Everything about the situation seemed shady, in his opinion. So, he decided to think about his answers carefully before he could regret anything.

“I told her I needed to work on myself.” Doyoung said.

“Is that true?”

“What? Yeah, it’s true.”

Jaehyun laughed. “People use that excuse all of the time. That’s usually code for “I’m madly in love with someone else.” “

“What? No, not for me.”

“What?” Jaehyun mimicked Doyoung. He clapped his hand on his back and continued. “It’s true. You tell a girl you’re just working on yourself, but in reality, you’re really hoping to be with someone else who already accepts you as you are. Everyone knows this.”

Doyoung felt like he had stopped breathing. He looked down at his shoes. He turned away from Jaehyun to twist his face in pain before facing him again. “Do they?” Doyoung asked.

“Yeah, “ Jaehyun said. “But, I mean, you’ve always been different. Who am I to tell you what you mean? Maybe you do want to work on yourself. There isn’t anything wrong with that.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

The wind was picking up. Doyoung felt a drop of rain fall onto his scalp. Jaehyun seemed unbothered by the weather, by everything in life except his own triumphs. Jaehyun checked his phone to make sure the car was on its way and started singing to himself. Doyoung rubbed his hands together and tried breathing his hot breath into them to warm them up. It was getting darker earlier in the day, so even though it was barely 7pm, the sky was so dark that it felt like midnight.

Like always, Doyoung’s thoughts crept right back to you. He wanted to know what you were up to, if you were entertained on your own, if you were taking a nap, or thinking about him as much as he was thinking about you.

“Doyoung, I need to talk to you about something.” Jaehyun said. “I know last time I brought it up, it didn’t go so well.”

“Oh?” Doyoung asked when Jaehyun fell silent.

“There isn’t any other way to say it but,” he said, “I’m thinking of breaking up with her. For real, this time.”

Doyoung felt like he could breathe again. His breathing picked up as he digested the words Jaehyun was saying. Break-up.

“I know we’re used to her now,” he said. “She is as much a part of your life as she is mine. I don’t know. I think I’m just confused. I love her a lot. I just gotta, you know, work on myself.”

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun in time to see him smirking. A moment later, he admitted that he was only joking. There was no one else in the picture, no other woman that Jaehyun wanted to be with. Jaehyun just wanted to see what his options were. He felt like life was moving so fast, and he didn’t want to blink and miss out on things. If anything, Jaehyun said his job was what made him slow down just long enough to see what he wanted.

“Which is?” Doyoung asked.

“I don’t fucking know, really.” Jaehyun said. “All I know is that I want to try being single again. Is that bad of me?”

“Shall I speak honestly?” Doyoung asked. It had been awhile since Jaehyun confided in him about anything, and though it was about something serious, the selfishness in Doyoung liked the way it felt.

“Yes.”

“It’s not bad of you. “Doyoung said. “If you feel like it’s the right thing to do, it’s the right thing to do.”

“I just have to convince myself.” Jaehyun said, laughing nervously.

Doyoung looked up at the sky. He knew he shouldn’t involve himself, but Jaehyun was putting him in a weird place. He said, so softly, “You’ll hurt her, you know.”

“What did you say?” Jaehyun asked.

Doyoung looked at his handsome roommate, and his maybe sort-of best friend, and repeated what he had said, but this time, with more feeling. “You will hurt her.”

“It will hurt me more than it hurts her.” Jaehyun said quickly.

“You don’t know her.”

Jaehyun raised his eyebrows. “And you do?”

Doyoung grimaced. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant. When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I was sure it would hurt me more. I wanted someone to like me for so long, to choose me, and yet, she was more hurt than I thought I could make a person be. I can’t get the look she gave me out of my mind. It haunts me, Jaehyun.”

Doyoung could see the defensiveness deflate out of Jaehyun. He was always prideful and ready to fight for himself. Doyoung wished he could be more like that. He could see the little ways the cogs in Jaehyun’s brain were still working, see the way he side-eyed Doyoung every once in a while.

“Can I speak honestly again?” Doyoung asked.

“Sure.” Jaehyun said. “We’re getting somewhere tonight, I think.”

“I don’t want to go to the bar with you.” Doyoung said” I am really tired from today. There is nothing I want more than to go back inside and climb into my bed.”

The car was coming down the street. Jaehyun stepped forward and waved it down. Doyoung remained behind him, staring at the back of his perfect head. Jaehyun turned around as the car came to a stop.

“It’s okay.” Jaehyun said. “I think I understand. I can hang out with my other friends from work. I’ll still have fun, don’t worry about me. Just, look, keep what I said between me and you until I figure some things out. I don’t want to cause her any unnecessary pain.”

Feeling relief, Doyoung tried not to smile. “Okay. Should I wait up for you?”

“No.” Jaehyun said. “Get your beauty sleep, dork.”

Doyoung nearly skipped his way back to the front door. When he got to the top of the steps, Jaehyun called his name. Doyoung turned around and felt like he was getting ready for Jaehyun to call him out for being madly in love with his girlfriend.

“Take care of her, will you?”

“I will.” Doyoung said.

Doyoung raced all the way up the steps but slowed down when he made it to the front door. He kicked off his shoes and pressed his forehead to the wood, trying to recollect himself. He peeled off his coat and hung it up on a hook. He checked his reflection in the hallway mirror. He jumped around a few times, hoping to get the erratic excitement in his body to calm down.

It was funny what courage did to a body. Doyoung felt the adrenaline of Jaehyun’s confession coursing through his veins. His pupils were dilated. He was breathing so heavily that his chest hurt. His heart felt like it would beat straight to your bedroom door and land at your feet. You were both free.

Doyoung wanted to prepare so much, but you opened the door and stood there staring at him, your eyes wide and questioning. You asked him what he was doing, looking behind him to see if Jaehyun was there.

“10 seconds from courage to madness?” Doyoung asked. He looked at his watch. “That’s what you said, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

“10, 9, 8, “Doyoung began the countdown. “7, 6, 5..”

At five, Doyoung put his hands on either side of the door frame and leaned in to look you in your eyes, his lips just separated from yours by two inches.

He continued, “4, 3, 2, 1”

You crossed the threshold like he did a month ago, your lips finding his in the madness. Doyoung picked you up into his arms and brought you to his bedroom, kicking the door open and not caring who in the world heard him.

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