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stillfacingthesky · 8 months

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being trans is such a mindfuck. nobody knows who i am. i dont need to come out, im fine as i am. i hide behind my clothes. i dont recognise myself in the mirror. i dont know if i ever will. i want to transition. im scared of change. i want to be seen and known. i am in danger. queer joy is beautiful. i am more open than a queer person used to be able to be. someone like me was murdered yesterday. i saw their face on the news, and the reporter used the wrong name. wearing mens’ clothes brings me joy, and the joy is reminiscent of a little girl. i want to be pretty. my skin doesnt fit and my voice is not mine. im scared i might love my father more. i dont need to come out, i can manage this all. im going to die someday anyway, it wont matter. a kid was staring at me in the bookstore today and i saw my past in their eyes. i wonder if they saw their future in mine. i want to be someones boyfriend. i am my brothers sister. all bodies are beautiful except mine. god created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. god hates fags. there is something wrong with me. if i ignore it, itll go away. its not going away. it hasnt gone away in seven years. i dont want to be a stereotype. i love brash vulgarity. my mother thinks i am beautiful. i share her face. i know ill regret it if i never come out. i dont want to waste my life wearing a costume. i dont know if i want to sacrifice the life that ive had for the life i could have. someone out there understands me. someone else would kill me without regret. someone would cry if i was gone. someone would praise my killer as a hero. there are photos and illustrations of people like me in the past. our history has been erased. theyre still trying to erase us. i dont know if the present is worth the future. i want to be happy. i dont feel like i deserve it. ‘female’ leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. ‘woman’ makes me see stars. i am one but not the other. i am the ghost of the person i want to be. i encourage others and love them regardless. i am a hypocrite. ive been in hiding since i was thirteen. i want to be loud. my mother spent nine months creating me. i will spend the rest of my life creating myself. i am scared. i am angry. i am beautiful and sickening and i want to rip my skin apart to make space for something new. my rage is glorious. they will never understand. i do not need them to. i am so lonely. i am an artist and i want to be a masterpiece. they call my creation mutilation. i dont want to make my parents sad. i want my brother to like me. i am visibly queer. that man shouted at me to smile because he was treating me like a woman. what i have right now is enough. i want more. i don’t know if ill ever have it. if i die tomorrow, i will be buried in a dress. it will be a dress that is already in my closet, a pretty dress that i havent worn in years.

#transmasc #trans #trans*#queerness #queer

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sad-leon · 2 months

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Transfem Leo go brrrrrrrrrrrr <3

A concept I've had in my head of transfem Leo for a while. She'd always felt a little more feminine than her brothers, but just embraced it. It wasn't like she was too upset about being their brother, but the label never settled right. Until Donnie decides that they need like- full DNA/Genetic evaluations just in case they have some underlying issues just waiting to jump out at them and surprise! Leo is biologically female!

Presenting this information to Leo, Donnie is prepared for a gender crisis, but instead he's greeted by Leo being incredibly excited and happy about this news. Leo tells Donnie that she's never really felt like their brother, but didn't think it was too big of an issue to bring up, but then Donnie gives her this information and she's ready to embrace the sister title with her entire being. Finally, it all makes sense! She's not their brother and she never was!

The gender identity crisis hits later when she has a moment of "I'm not trans, but I am and oh god I don't have a communty-", but for now she confides in her brother her true identity

For a while she decides to go by "Doe" because it's close enough to Leonardo, but when her brothers call her Leo she can tell they say the name with their "brother" in mind, so until they get used to her identity, she just sticks with Doe

I rotate her in my mind constantly alsdjflasdf

Tea made some wonderful art of her Here and Here!!!! I still treasure these very much!!

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twistedmionn · 1 month

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Twisted Wonderland iceberg

Explanations ahead (slight spoiler warning)

Tier 1:

everything is self-explanatory, I think

Tier 2:

Haruhi = the protagonist of Ouran High School Host Club. She's a girl who dresses up as a boy (correct me if I'm wrong) and many players who have a female MC consider theirs to be like Haruhi. [EDIT: Thanks for the anon pointing out that I misspelled the name!]

Tier 3:

self-explanatory

Tier 4:

A fair amount of people headcanon Vil as a trans woman because he presents androgynously/feminine and doesn't care about gender roles. This has also caused discussion in the fandom because breaking gender roles ≠ trans.

Tier 5:

People sometimes wish TWST was more like a dating sim and had character/dorm routes.

Some people headcanon that Silver is based on Prince Philip (from Sleeping Beauty) and/or is a prince himself. I haven't played all of book 7 yet (only the parts out in the ENG server) so idk if the theory has been proven right.

Lilia is old and hints at dying soon.

Hot NPCs, such as Deuce's mom and Sebek's grandpa.

Ace and Deuce have expressed interest in Yuu at various points in the game.

Genshin VAs: Leona/Alhaitham, Silver/Kazuha, Idia/Razor are the ones I can think of

Tier 6:

A beastman (I think it was Jack) has stated that he has problems talking to animals, and Ruggie's talent at it is considered something special.

The tweels are considered intersex by some due to eel anatomy (I'm no eel expert).

Kalim is considered the real villain by some due to never really bothering to help Jamil.

Epel's backstory/attitude has many elements that a fair amount of trans men relate to.

There are theories that Lilia and Sebek are twisted from Peter Pan characters. I'm unsure about Silver, but I think I've read something about him being from another movie, too!

Tier 7:

Some people headcanon that Ace has experienced domestic abuse.

There's a theory that Ace will betray Yuu.

Cater has two sisters who boss him around, which is a resemblance to Cinderella.

Malleus might have two pps because well... dragon.

Epel and Deuce had a whole ass beach date. Deuce constantly cares for him and broke the school rules in order to make Epel feel better. Their scenes together (the settings) looked straight out of a shoujo manga. If Epel were a girl, this ship would be considered canon by most.

I'm not sure EXACTLY which languages Jade's VA speaks, but I do remember that he knows German.

In one of his Halloween vignettes, Ruggie — as opposed to Lilia — has indirectly expressed that he has no interest in romance/relationships.

Tier 8:

UH.

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mosaicfangs · 4 months

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Ok so like, I always thought transmasc Turtle was a cute HC but just completely canon incompatible like there is no way Coral would allow any of her female offspring to trans their gender BUT

I just realised

What if Turtle just...started presenting male one morning? Coral doesn't give a fuck about her sons, she doesn't even know half their names, so Turtle just keeps out of her way and blends in with the rest of the boys to the best of his ability, maybe uses his animus magic to change some identifying markings. Coral thinks her daughter has gone missing and after a prolonged period of mourning, possibly interrupted by the hatching of Anemone, is none the wiser. Maybe one day she wonders if she's miscounted, after all she was sure she had 31 sons not 32, but she drops the question quickly enough because who cares about the males anyway, she's too busy keeping an extra close eye on Anemone and getting a special harness made so she can't go missing like her sister :)

#wof turtle #wof #wings of fire

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genderqueerdykes · 1 year

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Things commonly asked while questioning one's gender

Here are some questions you may ask yourself if you are in the process of questioning your gender; if these questions have occurred to you, or create a dialogue or reaction in you, you could possibly have an experience that falls under the trans* umbrella. PLEASE note that NONE of these are REQUIREMENTS for being trans- people have asked me to lay out some basic questions you can ask yourself or a checklist and this is what i've come up with so far:

Does being called by my birth name bother me? would i be happier going by a different name of a different gender or a different name somehow?

Do the pronouns assigned with my birth gender feel inaccurate somehow? would i be happier if i changed my pronouns? does the gender marker assigned to me on licenses and IDs bother me or feel inaccurate?

Does the way other people address me affect me? does the way other people perceive me and assign gendered terms and roles to me in passive conversation bother me? does it bother me that people treat me like a "man" or "woman" when that's not how i feel? does it bother me when people aggressively call me sir, ma'am, lady, man, sister, brother, etc.

When engaging in roleplay or thought exercises, do i find myself naturally envisioning myself as a different gender, or creating characters of a different gender because it feels more safe, natural or comfortable to me while doing thought exercises or fantasizing? do i find that it comes easily to me to put myself in the shoes of another gender, perhaps even moreso than my agab?

Do I find myself relating to one gender moreso than others whenever I engage with fiction? do I find that I wish I could be a lot more like characters of a certain gender ? Do I find that it's easier to project myself on to characters of a different gender?

Do i feel trapped, uncomfortable, upset, irritated, or freaked out when other people comment on how feminine or masculine i am? do i feel like they are wrong in how they see me? do i feel uncomfortable when separated by genders with my peers? do i feel alienated when assigned to be partnered up with one gender but more at home with another? do i feel as though i'm forced to use the incorrect gendered spaces like restrooms?

Would i feel better or more free if i tried to look for different clothing? do the clothes i wear now feel wrong, restrictive, uncomfortable, or in some other way like they are not mine or do not suit me?

Do i wish my voice were lower or higher? does my internal view of how my voice should sound match how it does, and do i feel like i should change that to feel more comfortable and safe, or more like myself?

Do i wish my body were different in some way? does my internal view of how i look match how my body looks? is there something that's wrong or makes me feel uncomfortable? is there something that would make me happier if i changed it, like my musculature, fat distribution, facial structure, hair growth, and so on? do i feel as though something is missing, or needs to go?

Do I feel as though the genders described to me by others just don't fit? do i feel as though i just cannot fit into the boxes of male and female? do i feel as though no matter what gender i try to identify with , it is still inaccurate? do i find that i have an experience with a gender, but it's nothing like how most other people describe their experiences?

Do i wish that i could have more freedom in my presentation and identity? would being able to change my identity on occasion be more beneficial to me? is it too difficult for me to nail down an exact identity and it would be easier for me to identify with a more nebulous term like genderlessness? do overly rigid pre-defined genders or presentations make me feel trapped or left out?

Would i feel more comfortable if i were the one defining the terms i identify with as opposed to other people assigning them to me based upon how i look, sound and act?

Do i feel as though it is not possible for me to be cis no matter what way i try to present or which genders i identify with?

Do I find myself naturally looking up to gender non conforming, trans, nonbinary and other queer people in general? do i find that the way they go about presenting their genders and interacting with gender makes more sense than how cis people approach gender?

this is not an attempt at a diagnostic tool, nor is it required for you to experience ALL of these things, or even most of them. every trans person experiences something different. i'm presenting a list of common questions people ask themselves while questioning their gender. we will continue to add as we think of things

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gartenofbanny · 9 months

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WARNING: DIRTY-ISH IMAGES IN THIS BLOG

Guys, I have a confession to make. I believe Sallie May is one of the most overrated characters in Helluva Boss.

I don’t believe she’s overrated simply because she’s trans. It’s just for a different reason that I will explain shortly, but first who is this character I'm talking about?

Who is Sallie May?

Sallie May is Millie’s sister who debuted in Hell of a Boss Episode Five, the Harvest Moon Festival. After some time after the release of the episode she was pretty popular among the Hell of a Boss fandom

So what're my thoughts about her overall? Well, Sallie May is a character, that's pretty much it. I don't have any opinions on her as a character because she isn’t fleshed out. She is Millie's sister who is transgender, that's really what Sallie May is. She looks pretty, but Sallie May doesn't have any standalone character similar to Octavia and Millie.

So that's how I feel about Sallie May, she's overall just a side character. It's cool that they added her to the show, but that's all.

Now that, that's out of the way I'm going to talk about..how Vivziepop and the other creators used her and why I don’t like it. This is going to be pretty controversial for me to discuss so don’t pull out your pitchforks yet.

How Vivziepop and the other creators used her

What I don't like upon Harvest Moon Festival’s release is that a lot of people, including me were not aware that Sallie May was transgender and there was very little indication of that. The only thing that points out that Sallie May is trans is her horns.

As people know, Male imps and Female imps have different patterns for their horns. However, that information is not shared within Helluva Boss.

It requires outside research like in the wikis, Livestreams, or people telling you in order to make sense.

Upon first watching Harvest Moon Festival, I had no idea that Sallie May was transgender until a Reddit post basically told me that she was.

If you're going to have a character with a certain gender identity, establish it within the series. It could've been something simple like a pin of the transgender flag or a button that has the colors of the transgender flag.

The writers of Amphibia did it with Sasha where Sasha had a bisexual heart sticker on her rearview mirror. It doesn't have to be something big, but it can be small and easily noticeable.

I don’t get how people consider Sallie May to be a trans icon when lots of people didn’t even know she was trans in the first place.

Why I believe she's overrated and why she's loved within the Fandom

Now the real question is why do I believe she’s overhyped? Well, simply put it she does not have much screen time overall. Sallie May has around 13 to at most 20 seconds of screentime and Harvest Moon Festival is 17 minutes and 30 seconds long excluding the credits.

Sallie May doesn't make an appearance later on in the episode despite the fact that Millie and Sallie's mom, Lin said that Sallie May would compete in the Pain Games. Not once is Sallie May shown in the Pain Games.

Sallie May also doesn't appear later on in the episode. Viv and Brandon just include her in those couple of seconds and decided "That's all she gets".

But why is Sallie May overrated as a character? Well, it's simple, merchandise.

Despite being a side character, Sallie May is present in a lot of merch. In the Valentine’s and Summer merch sales for Hell of a Boss, Sallie May is highly sexualized.

Sallie May hasn't gone through the transition surgery, which is fine, but the merch puts A LOT of emphasis on that.

What I mean is that…her bulge is showing.

Sallie May's swimsuit and Valentine’s merchandise are clear examples of this, they just let Sallie May’s thing bulge out with no care in the world. Why is it that Sallie May’s bulge is exposing itself in nearly all of her raunchy merch, but none of the characters who identify as males (except for Chaz) are not?

Conclusion

In conclusion, I believe Sallie May is really overhyped because she’s sexualized as hell. I get that people like her because she’s trans and that we have a trans character in Helluva Boss, but then again there are also two other characters in this show that are trans.

And one character in Harvest Moon Festival that is also trans

At least that’s what the horns and hair color imply, but I don’t see the fandom falling head over hills for these two characters.

The trans rep in Helluva Boss sucks, Sallie May has more screen time as merchandise than she does as an actual character. Let that sink in.

I am not transphobic, just stating the truth. Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day!

(This is basically the transcript version of a video I made not too long ago)

youtube

#helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva critical #vivienne medrano #helluva boss sallie may #sallie may #Youtube

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djuvlipen · 1 year

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There's something I've been meaning to talk about for a while now.

It's the impact of the trans rights movement on the Romani feminist and gay rights movements.

Now, most Romani rights organizations are very disconnected from the Romani masses. They really don't speak for us at all. Most of them get private fundings from the EU and billionaires like Soros (x). That's what leads a lot of Romani feminist groups to supporting the sex trade (x), despite Romani women being among the first victims of sex trafficking in Europe (x).

With the trans rights movement, we've got Romani feminist groups praising Romani men for taking the place of Romani women. Antonella Lerca Duda, a Romanian Romani transwoman, is featured on many Romani feminist posts whose aim is to present empowering Romani women (x) (x). Antonella Lerca Duda is "the first transexual Romani woman to run for mayor in Romania".

German Romani feminist organization RomaniPhen even chose to include his portrait in their post about powerful Romani women - instead of chosing to picture an actual Romani woman (x). Duda also created a "sex work" organization that fights for the decriminalization of prostitution. He's not our sister and he doesn't fight for Romani women. Yet he was even invited to co-write and star in a play from the only female-only Romani theater troup in the world, Giuvlipen, once again taking the job that could have gone to an actual Romani female playwright and to an actual Romani female actress (x).

In Spain, the trans movement is piggybacking on the back of the Romani rights movement. "Trans women" and "Gitanas" are associated in a manner much similar to what the TRA movement is doing in the US by associating "Trans people" and "Black women". Thus Spanish Senator Teresa Ruiz-Sillero recently said that ""Personas LGTBI (en particular trans), inmigrantes, personas gitanas" se considerarán "colectivos vulnerables de atención prioritaria"." ("LGBTI people (trans in particular), immigrants, romani people" will be considered "vulnerable groups to give a priority attention to") (x)

Many tweets from popular TRA Spanish accounts associate Romani women and trans women (I'm only gonna add three examples because this post is already long; you can look up "gitanas + trans" on twitter to judge by yourself):

And many Spanish Romani activists and organizations are denouncing TERFs as fascist and fighting for self-ID laws

Nevermind the fact that Romani women desperately need sex-segregated spaces considering that Romani women are particularly vulnerable to domestic violence and sexual assaults (x). Nevermind the fact that saying Romani women are not female because we're Romani is inherently racist.

But it's even worse when we think about the Romani gay rights movement. As opposed to many other gay rights movements, the Romani one is very recent. Which means we never got to build up a proper LGB Romani movement detached from "queer theory". We never got a movement only dedicated to SSA Roma, because trans and queer activists are behind all our LGBT groups. Gender rhetoric is deeply embedded in the Romani gay rights movement.

Here's a clip from the ERRC, the largest Romani rights organization in Europe, organizing a workshop on LGBTIQ Roma in the Balkan and in Spain. No lesbian or bi woman is present in this video. There's only one (straight) woman. The person with the longest speaking time is a TIM. This is particularly bad considering Romani orgs have a tendency to ignore Romani women's voices (x).

Ara Art is one of the largest Romani LGBT organization in Europe. On their website, they have interviews with trans Roma. These interviews are deeply sexist and homophobic: here's one in which a gay boy raised in a homophobic family comes out as a trans woman. This story is framed in a positive light.

Romani organizations are repeating the lie that Stonewall was started by "trans women" and are further erasing gay men and lesbians from their own history (x). They publish articles framing LGB Roma's sexuality as "sexual dissidence" (x). By supporting the trans rights movement, orgs like Ververipen, Ara Art and ERRC are supporting the sterilization of LGB Roma. All over Europe, Romani organizations hold conferences to discuss "LGBTIQ rights" (x) and are interviewing Romani TRAs (x), all in order to fight for trans rights (that last link even includes an interview with a biromantic asexual transman lmao). There's no LGB rights movement that exists outside of the gender realm for Roma.

source: Asociacion Gitanas Feministas por la Diversidad (x) and E-Romnja, one of the largest Romani feminist org in Romania (x)

Gadje newspapers are writing articles about "Queer Roma" (x). Gadje academics are writing gender theory thesis about "Queer Roma" (x).

This doesn't help LGB Roma. In my so-called progressive, Western European country, my Romani relatives used to tell me that LGBs were deviant perverts while I was growing up. My local Romani community openly calls for the lynching of LGB Roma. Most European Roma are deeply religious (muslim or christian), sometimes to the point of being fundamentalists. The vast majority of European Roma are working class and don't care about "queer theory".

Yet the associations that are supposed to be fighting for us are reinforcing the idea that LGBs are perverts and that not supporting the homophobic trans ideology makes you a fascist. Since Romani rights groups are all very recent, we never even got the chance to make our own movements before we got swipped into the gender trend.

The trans rights movement is actively harming Romani women, LGB Roma, Romani feminist and Romani gay rights movements.

#roma #gender critical #drop the t #lgb #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists please interact #radical feminists do touch #radical feminists please touch #radfems do touch #radfems please touch #radfems do interact #radfems please interact #radblr #radical feminism #this post is so long and boring i hope it won't flop tho it took me an hour lol

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punkeropercyjackson · 21 days

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Transfem Percy Jackson is a hilarious ass headcanon not because of 'huehuehue men being called women is so funni!!' transmisogyny bullshit but because it was completely untentional coding yet it's so instrinctly built into her writing that it becomes funny

Percy's always like 'Sigh.....I wish i didn't have to be a stereotypical guy but i guess i have to be to fit in......Anyway time to never actually try to act like one'.She's canonically described by the unlabeled butch and first gay boy as 'not their type' because she's not masc looking/presenting enough for her and isn't the ideal man he thought she was.The book where she officially becomes a teenager by virtue of being 13 in it introduces The Hunters of Artemis,an archaic mythological group who were a metaphor for lesbians and confirmed in-universe to accept trans girls,and a major plot point is her proving herself to be extremely different from the men they've known before along with the death of the aformentioned gay boy's older sister who she becomes an older sibling figure and pseudo-parent to and she acted the same towards said sister AND it also had her being jealous of a punk girl because she wanted to be treated and seen as same as her.She said her female love interest has princess hair when she first saw her and then it turns out Percy's dad is the king of Atlantis and told her 'The sea does not like to be restrained' and he's the same guy who found out one of his crush's was transmasc so he gave him a male body with his god powers

Her first girlfriend was a bombshell redhead weirdgirl who's obsessed with art and is an activist despite being only in high school and she was in love with her because she made her feel normal and because they could be completely honest with eachother.Her male best friend is a Team Dad like how she's a Team Mom and who's werewolf-adjacent and the walking embodiment of positive and healthy masculinity and her idea of calling him hot was to compare him to Superman and he worships the ground she walks on and they're 'two sides of the same coin' narratively.This one's not funny but her biggest villain was that older creepy guy who pretended to be her friend at her summer camp when she was 12 only to turn out to have been using her and he spends up until his death stalking her and acting entitled to her attention and he's also a canon pedophile who's meant to be an illustration of how 'hot older men' who go after younger people are in fact just losers and child abusers that use conventional attractiveness and practiced charming abilities to their advantage to hide what monsters they are so they can deny it to themselves too

She's surroended by literal male sex gods but hates all of them,Persephone favors her over other demigods,Artemis fw's her and the last book of the og series is her befriending the first ever eldest daughter in Hestia.The second book of the sequel has a SECOND instance where Percy gets an all girl mythos group plotline in the Amazons who she ALSO proves herself to.These are all literally canon,i am NOT joking guys.She deserves a blue estrogen burger and she/sea themed pronouns fries i think

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beatrixstonehill2 · 4 months

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"Thank you to all my amazing TikTok fans who talked me into detransitioning! ❤️ You guys are incredible. My sister's been encouraging me to detrans for a while, but from her it just sounded like innocent teasing. But seeing hundreds of you guys comment and send me messages telling me to stop taking estrogen, get my boobs removed, and just embrace being male. I know I should've just listened to my sister a long time ago and stopped living as some big-breasted porn fantasy of being female. I can't believe what a slut I was.... I've probably been fucked by hundreds of guys, and sucked twice as much cock. It was so affirming to be a sorority slut, but in the background every time I posted on TikTok or Insta you guys would be there to call me male, tell me I need to give up on playing make believe and finally go through male puberty.

I'm not gonna lie, I'd masturbate to all your wonderful comments, misgendering me, telling me I'm obviously just a guy with fat man-boobs. My sister would like and agree with so many of those comments. And so would my parents.... and my college professors. I got home one night after getting passed around by like five or six guys, my boobs bruised and swollen, my cock the same way.... I looked at my bottle of estrogen and dumped it out. The very next morning I went to the university's medical department and requested to be put on testosterone. I'm only six months into my detransition but the effects are so noticeable. My face is getting more masculine--not that I ever looked much like a girl to begin with!

And of course my college encouraged me to get my breasts removed asap, when I got my T prescription, they practically pushed me straight into the surgery wing. I went in, took off my clothes, and one of the guys who fucked me only a couple nights ago was the surgery student who was going to work on me. He smiled when he saw me and said he knew I was going to detrans sooner or later. I sat there as the surgery students watched, many of whom I've been fucked by, whistling and cheering me on to detransition. I sat there jerking off my five-inch cock as the guy wrote his guidelines on my breasts to remove them, telling me how much fun he was going to have destroying my breasts in front of the class, tossing them in the trash, having just grabbed and played with them so recently. He said he was hoping the whole time he'd get the chance to remove them. As I sat there listening, jerking off, I told him I hoped he'd have fun....

Now I'm living as a femboy. Still presenting like a girl, but embracing being a boy as my facial hair starts to come in and my body gradually masculinizes at long last. My sister couldn't be more pleased with me. The same with the rest of my family, although I'm still just a college slut.... The main difference is I now live at the frat house, with the other detrans boys. We all sleep together, and share the responsibility of keeping all the jocks other guys satisfied, when they aren't fucking their curvy pregnant girlfriends, or other trans girls, telling them to detrans and stop being delusional fake girls as they fuck them. I hope lots more trans girls get their big fat boobs chopped off and join us here at the frat house, it's so much more fun being a boy. ❤️"

#detrans kink #mtf detrans kink #mtftm kink #sissi femboi #femboy kink

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thagomizersshow · 10 months

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Content warning: blood, gore, sexual content, sexual assault, parasites and body horror

This is a heavily modified version of an essay I originally wrote for a literary theory class and then turned into a script for a video essay that I never finished.

Enjoy :)

One of the things that really bothers me about the critical conversation around Alien (1979) is the long-running idea that the alien and its various forms are so enduringly horrifying because they break the sexual/gender binary.

The worst example I can find is this excerpt, from Alien Woman: The Making of Lt. Ripley, by Ximena Gallardo and C. & C. Jason Smith:

The Alien species disregards the sexual difference that is so essential to our definition of what it is to be human. The male body is repositioned to correspond to the female body: the male mouth becomes the vagina, the chest the womb. The dichotomy male/female is broken down, as all humanity is female (a womb) in the face of the alien.

I get that this was published in 2004, but Gender Trouble had already been around for over a decade, so that’s not much of an excuse for weird ass gender essentialism in academia.

Art by AlexanDraxleean ↑

The idea that the xenomorph and its various stages are scary because the gender binary is being broken down is comically disregarded by the simple fact that trans people (like myself) ALSO find the damn thing scary. We are living embodiments of a shattered binary, but we aren’t shitting ourselves over our own existence (usually). I contend that the alien is scary not because of a violation of gender or sexual norms, but because it utilizes a much more widespread and visceral kind of horror: that of the parasite.

Most other animalistic horror monsters rely on the fear of the predator: monster wanna eat you → you run away → get caught → get eated. This is an oversimplification, obviously, and if you want a really good exploration of how the fear of predators effects us, read Val Plumwood’s Eye of the Crocodile. For real, my fav ecophilosophy book.

No, instead of the more straightforward horror presented by the predator, the alien uses the inescapable, cloying, and violating horror of parasites and parasitoids. Where the predator hunts, kills and eats, the parasite clings, defiles and tortures. When the predator catches you, you’re dead. When the parasite catches you, you don’t know what is going to happen. Is it going to bury inside you? Is it going to feed on your body? Is it going to lay eggs in you? You literally don’t know, and that’s what makes them so scary. Hell, they could get inside you without you even knowing. It isn’t just the fear of death, it’s the paranoia of violation AND the fear of the unknown. This makes Alien akin to a Lovecraftian horror in many ways, but instead of the fear of race-mixing or disabled people, it is the fear that whatever you do, wherever you go, there are beings that can enter your body and use it against your will.

Hell, the whole premise of the movie, at least according to the screenwriter, came from the thought “what if ichneumon wasps laid eggs in us instead of in worms?” That basic idea is glossed over constantly in analysis of Alien in favour of more Freudian explanations that rely heavily on antiquated notions of gender essentialism. When early screening audiences were throwing up in their seats in 1979, were they thinking about how “this monster really transgresses gender norms :/” or were they thinking “fuck what if that thing was growing inside me?!?!”

The only time I agree with these old school interpretations is when they view Alien through the lens of sexual assault. The fear of sexual assault and the fear of parasites are fucked up sisters in a way. They are both fears of bodily violation that induce a strong paranoia, and their symbologies easily feed off one another. Sexual imagery (e.g. a penis shaped head with a mouth on the end) combined with parasitic imagery (e.g. a creature grabbing a hold of you and doing unknown things to your body) are both niggling at the part of your brain that is repulsed by internal invasion.

However, I’ve seen arguments that Alien specifically targets fears for cis men being sexually assaulted, and I think that’s a very limited approach to the movie. The idea of a creature latching onto you, ignoring your autonomy, and using you as an incubator is pretty universally scary if you ask me, and I think for most people, that idea connects to a primal and often unaddressed fear of parasites far more than sexual violation. Just look at videos of botfly maggot removals and tell me you don’t get the same yucky feeling as when you watch Alien.

Even for people like me who find these creatures fascinating, I still get that skin crawly feeling when I look at images of them for too long. And it isn’t just a short-lived disgust reaction happening, it’s also that feeling of paranoia that it could be happening to you right this minute. This is all a part of what is called the behavioural immune system, which is the brain’s first line of defense against infection and why most people are grossed out by signs of disease on the body (pus, rashes, body odours, etc.).

We really don’t like thinking about parasites, and it shows across our culture. Deadly predators of all kinds have been worshiped all over the world, but is there anyone in history who paid fealty to the tick? Who invoked the name of the roundworm for strength? Are there cartoons about anthropomorphic scabies and their kingdom of flesh? (If any of these exist and I just don’t know it, please tell me.)

I’m not saying that this is an innate feeling in all of us (the human experience is about as diverse as it gets, and I’m sure some people just don’t have this reaction and never have) but I do think it’s widespread enough and so infrequently felt that when this parasite repulsion is triggered it makes for a horror that is far harder to shake than any socialized fear of gender violation. Far more than any Freudian psychosexual imagery, the horror of the parasite is what I believe has made the xenomorph such an enduring cinematic monster.

I wanna leave this post off with one of my favourite quotes about parasites from Annie Dilliard’s book, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek:

It is the thorn in the flesh of the world, another sign, if any be needed, that the world is actual and fringed, pierced here and there, and through and through, with the toothed conditions of time and the mysterious, coiled spring of death.

#crit tag #movies #alien

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elliewiltarwyn · 11 days

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Elilgeim "Ellie" Wiltarwyn

B A S I C S

Name: Elilgeim Wiltarwyn

Nicknames: 'Geim by childhood friends; Ellie by Mia at the end of ARR and by everyone (or at least those she knows) halfway through HW; El by her partners

Age: 24 in ARR, hc'ing that it's four years to the end of 6.0 and then another year or so to 6.55 -- so at present, 29ish

Nameday: 9th Sun of the Sixth Umbral Moon

Race: Sea Wolf Roegadyn

Gender: (trans) female

Orientation: Lesbian

Profession: Conjurers' Guild member, then Warrior of Light; would probably still be a conjurer, or scholar or even a writer in non-WoL AUs

P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

Hair: Red, usually shoulder-length when down, but in a ponytail most of the time. She usually brushes it until it's silky and clean, but recently somebody *coughdefinitelynot@oneiroycough* mussed it into a really messy kinda-butch look and she's found herself really liking it :V

Eyes: sort of the same slightly-cool blue as the tumblr dashboard you're probably reading this on >.>

Skin: Seafoam green-ish

Tattoos/scars: Slightly-pale red streak across her cheekbones and nose. Plenty of scars, one light one over her eye from Pearl Lane and more all over her torso; Zenos gave her the two biggest ones, one on her side at Rhalgr's Reach and one directly in the middle of her chest in Ultima Thule.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Father was Wiltitar, a retired Storm Captain, most well-known for retiring from and renouncing piracy and throwing his support behind Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn's Galadion Accord; met an untimely end in an alleyway mugging. (This does mean her surname should be Wiltitarwyn, and there's no good in-universe reason it's not. >.>) Mother is Keltbryda, a renowned and well-loved physician who mysteriously vanished, thought dead. Near the end of EW... Ellie discovers she was actually summoned to Sharlayan to lend her skills to the ark project. They definitely have a very normal conversation about this.

Siblings: None by blood, but she does have a childhood friend from school that she considers a sister this friend does not exist yet beyond that concept

Grandparents: A little too far back for me to think about >.>

In-laws and Other: None, really, because...by the time she marries her partners, none of their blood families are in their lives anymore either >.> (technically I think Lily's family is still alive, mom and nunh and two younger sisters, but she hasn't seen them in years)

Pets: Fat Cat is definitely canon, although I haven't figured out its name yet. also debating whether Rudy photobombing their holiday photos and stealing her nameday cake is canon and he just lives with them now.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Surprisingly in tune with the elementals of Gridania (though not enough to be necessarily okay with them) and thus fairly skilled at white magic/conjury. After a Very Certain Event in HW, she picks up a claymore and learns how to swing a greatsword and becomes even more in tune with her inner darkness. She picks up the reaper arts for EW, then post-EW drops them and learns martial arts from Lyse and her contacts in the Fists of Rhalgr.

Hobbies: Reading and studying, training, picks up sailing and fishing after EW.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: An extremely strong and confident sense of justice/conviction of what's right and wrong.

Most Negative Trait: Gets tunnel vision frequently and is quick to leap to the most direct solution, no matter how unfeasible or unwise.

L I K E S

Colors: Red red red red red almost all the way up and down lol, and black for accents. Blue's a close runner-up, though.

Smells: the coast of Vylbrand, the steel of bloodied armor, coffee

Textures: Aetherwoven robes and corrugated steel; calloused hands and rough skin; surprisingly soft almost-silky hair

Drinks: Coffee, either pitch black or very specifically a spoonful of milk and one sugar cube

O T H E R D E T A I L S

Smokes: She did occasionally during the period of her life she spent on Pearl Lane, and will maybe take one if offered in the present, but she doesn't of her own accord anymore.

Drinks: Nope, even before the events of MSQ she did not have a great tolerance; after the multiple attempted poisonings (and as the one who was specifically blamed at the bloody banquet) she swears it off entirely.

Drugs: Not of her own accord again, but she will if offered recreationally.

Mount Issuance: Her red chocobo named Typhoon; she also uses the Garlond GL-II on loan from the Ironworks as long as she doesn't crash it. She's come close a couple of times.

Been Arrested: Likely a few times when in Pearl Lane, then less so as she got better about avoiding them, but not since becoming a conjurer.

---------

thanks for the tag @oneiroy!! I'm not sure who all's done this so uh forgive the double-tag if it is one, but I will tag... @eidingate @amons-hat-enthusiast @idalenn @starrysnowdrop @akirakirxaa, and of course you 🫵 if this strikes your fancy!

#tag games #wol questions #sorta lol #femroe #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #onei i like your idea that there's no pressure if tagged just consider it an evil boop otherwise lol

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cor-lapis-candy · 1 year

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Look as much as I love the idea of sweaty incel Scaramouche I am also a rampaging homosexual who loves small partners like male, female, trans, nby, any way you wanna rep I am down for you if your a smol one, but I was also reminded that Scaramouche is a puppet made in the image of the Shogun's sister and thus he could have any bits he wanted, and so I present sweaty shut-in, virgin, coochie having, Wanderer.

I'm enamored by the thought of him being pussy enabled, posturing and stomping his way across the pathways and streets of sumeru in his new outfit, off doing a duty for Nahida or even just filling up time between lazing about and seething over having nothing to do. Only to tuck himself away in the guest chambers he was given, legs spread and hat tossed aside so he could rest peacefully.

Shucking off the extra layers he wears till it's just him and the thin mesh body suit and those middle finger clasped gloves, smooth fingers dragging across the seams of his under clothes and eventually tugging the clasps around his crotch free, never really having had the drive or want to use the parts that he had, nor did he care to, what would he do? Chase some mortals around and act like some mutt? Beg and whine for something that he can wholly do himself? Fat chance.

Sure he had spent free time back in the fatui exploring this part of himself, he knew it inside and out, had it checked and examined by that mockery of a doctor, hell he had even once spent a good hour using a kamera to take photos of how it looked as he posed and draped himself across some of the lavish furniture he had in his harbingers quarters.

So even here in the less than stellar room he had been given, it was so easy to fall back into the habit he had crafted a lifetime ago, slipping his fingers through the coarse curls of indigo that had no real purpose to him, dipping down to his folds and dragging the slick he found up, smearing what little was there before dipping just the tip of his finger in, the soft flesh giving way easily as he got more into the idea of touching himself.

Sure it was more than a little shameful that he had caved to such mortal needs so long ago, but archons did it feel good to dig his fingers into his cunt and feel the false warmth, to feel the walls move and tighten around his fingers, maybe one day he would cave, chase some half pretty mortal around a little, have them take the place of his fingers or make use of their useless mouth, he had overheard that was quite pleasurable to experience.

Perhaps he would go after that nurse that took care of him when he woke, they were passable for a mortal and sure he wasn't a harbinger anymore but he was still a powerful vision wielder if that didn't have them ready and willing then sure he could make use of some false charm and see what all the fuss was about.

But for now his fingers buried in his cunt would do, it had done so well for so long what was a few more weeks or days...

#scaramouche smut #trans scaramouche #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #corposting

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everythingisround · 1 year

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I think a lot of people who aren’t in the raggedy fandom or are just getting into the fandom may be a bit confused why so many of us headcanon Raggedy Andy as trans, so I decided to compile all the more heavily transcoded traits from across adaptations that fans use to justify their headcanons, plus some stuff I noticed on my own that I decided to add here.

Please note that I am in no way saying that trans/gnc headcanons NEED ‘evidence’ to be considered valid, or that Johnny Gruelle himself created Raggedy Andy with a trans man in mind. I just thought it would be helpful to have a little database of sorts for those who are first encountering this headcanon, and just in general to bounce ideas around that some may find representative of themselves and their experiences. Also, I’m trans, so I’m gonna make every male character in fiction trans too :p

I present to you… Trans Raggedy Andy™️

starting off with his design, andy has eyelashes, a trait commonly associated with female characters. note how other male dolls like clem, henny, and cleety the clown do not have this trait. (clem does have eyelashes in some illustrations, but their design is already EXTREMELY inconsistent lol)

andy’s hair in the early illustrations and dolls is very choppy and uneven, implying that he may have cut it himself. you could make the argument that ann or bessie (andy’s original owner) cut his hair for him, but let’s be honest, it probably would’ve looked a lot more neat and well layered than his current hairdo lmao

andy's arms are very large and disproportionate compared to ann's, which are very slim and feminine. perhaps andy stuffed them himself to give the illusion of muscles?

on the topic of andy's arms, in the books and some of the dolls and animated adaptations, his arm fabric is white, just like ann's. this isn't an issue at a glance; it was mostly likely an homage to ann and andy's design inspiration of scarecrows and clowns, which both typically wear gloves (moreso clowns with their signature white gloves). however, if we assume that raggedy ann stories takes place in 1918 (as that was the year it was published), and the beginning introduction states that ann is physically 59 years old, with andy being sewn a day or two afterwards according to raggedy andy stories, then both ann and andy were sewn in 1859. thing is, andy's outfit is sort of a mismash of contemporary fisherman/sailor attire, and fishermen/sailors didn't typically wear gloves back in those days, and even today. however, plenty of women, especially those of higher classes, wore gloves as a sign of neatness and status. granted, ann's attire seems to be more rural, but if, say, you were a working class woman in the mid 19th century, chances are you'd wear gloves at least some point. or maybe marcella's great-grandma/bessie's mom just used whatever scraps of fabric they had :shrug:

compared to ann's clothes, andy's clothes are a lot more modern (at least for the time period) and put together, with buttons and bowties galore. sure, bessie's mom could've just had those trinkets lying around, but considering the letter at the start of raggedy andy stories states that bessie and marcella's grandma lived next door with no fence, they were most likely lower class. personally, i like the idea of that ann made andy's current clothes herself :) maybe, with the civil war in america going on around the same time, ann might've based his clothes off of some of the sailors from that time...

in many of the adaptations, most notably the 1977 movie and the 1986 broadway musical, andy's arc usually revolves around him trying to prove himself, mostly by asserting himself to be as masculine as possible. one could argue that this is just a classic case of toxic masculinity, and while that could be a byproduct of his behavior, we do see him show sympathy and compassion for others, especially his sister. this indicates, to me at least, that andy's yearning to break away from others' expectations of him and be the strong, tough, and terrific boy he is is an internal conflict rather than an external one.

ill admit this is a bit more farfetched, but andy's voice does kinda sound like someone going through hrt, where the voice is in that awkward state of sounding more like a teenage boy as it slowly deepens with increased doses. (note that i havent gone on hrt yet; im mostly basing this off some of the things that my friend who has been through hrt has relayed onto me) if you listen to the 1977 movie, 1986 musical, and even the chuck jones specials, andy's voice definitely gives off that vibe (at least to me). then again, that may just be a result of the rag dolls being ageless, or the writers not knowing whether they wants the dolls to be minors or adults.

no girl's toy. yeah.

finally, ann and andy look basically identical, especially looking at them from the back view. heck, you can't even tell some of the dolls apart without their clothes on. this most likely indicates that bessie specifically wanted a doll that looked like marcella's grandma's, so that they could play with them as sisters and all that. it's also more common for kids with toys that share the same gender as them (though not all the time, of course), and boy dolls were almost always love interests for the girl dolls back then. even in the raggedy andy stories letter from earlier, johnny's mom (who, considering marcella was directly based off of johnny's own daughter, is most likely marcella's grandma in this context) even states that andy would sometimes be dressed in girl clothes when she and bessie wanted him to be ann's sister on that particular day. while that definitely makes me feel bad for andy if this is after his transition, marcella's grandma is also an old lady at this point, so it's very possible she could be misremembering, or perhaps she didn't want to confuse her son by saying her friend's girl doll magically turned into a boy doll one day. trans people were almost unheard of back then, after all, even though the concept of being trans has existed for thousands of years.

yup. that's the tea. this ended up being WAY longer than i originally intended, so i apologize for that... hopefully ive explained myself the best i could. tldr; raggedy andy has been trans since forever im sorry :(

#raggedy andy #trans raggedy andy #raggedy ann #raggedy ann and andy #trans #trans man #transgender #trans headcanon #trans hc

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debbeh · 5 months

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can u give me a guide to the six idiots :33 like maybe with a picture of them n their names n who they play in the Big Three shows :33 pwetty peesse :33

UM YES!?

ok, you saw me earlier trying to format all the images so it's gonna be mostly my (ehhhh) descriptions of the characters and you gotta guess what they look like 😈

Ben Willbond

Yonderland:

Elder Vex (above): the one who says Deb-beh and has the coziest looking outfit I NEED IT RN PLZ and the Tom Cardy- esque hair and earring

Nick: the stick. Grumpy all the time cuz he's a stick >:(. Is also a portal between dimensions but whatevs

Horrible Histories

Mike Peabody :historical news reporter that wishes he were anywhere but here rn

King Henry, Alexander the Great: SkINy MaNdRiA, excellent hair, sniffed a guy

Ghosts

The captain: AKA James, makes a lotta noises, if you ever hear me going weeeahhhhhuuuueeeaaaaaahhhh, I'm referencing him, the gay one<3

Martha Howe-Douglas!

Yonderland!!

Debbie.

Debbie's evil twin sister (bossy boobs)

I just googled it: Rita, the Negatus simp AKA us, the demon that looks like how female animals are protrayed in Barbie movies

Horrible Histories!!!

Boudica (look up the song, it's rlly good), Cleopatra, every female historical figure

Pirate lady....<33333

Ghosts!

Lady Button (present day): Old disgruntled lady that pouts all the time and falls out of windows

Lady Button (flashback)

Mathew Baynton!!!

Yonderland!!!

Oracle: weird blue blob guy, Nigel, Darling

Nanny la roo: NUM NUMS!!!! - nanny that is also a kangaroo

Admiral Anous: Voldemort mf I hate him bc he hates Negatus>:(

Elder Choop: Croissant hair mf, says, "IDK WHY DON'T WE ASK UR MUM??"

Le Fox: French

THE BIRRDDDDD: AKA Thomas Payne, Batman but cooler

Oh yeah, and Elf: the elf shaped one, full name: Grintallin Gobscrew Crotell Fashanu F’naw Goplatz Holla-Holla, has multiple wives apparently and is in debt to the mob

Horible Histories (look all of them up, they are all hot)

Dick Turpin: play the song >:333, shot not one but two men dead!

D.I. Bones: the whakkus bonkkused

King Charles II: absolute party-er

Ghosts

Thomas Thorne, shot, dead! Absolute poetic simp for Allison, drowned himself in the lake ;( -cannot drown-

Jim Howik!!!

Yonderland

Elder Pressley: looks like Elvis, eats christmas tree ornaments

Crone: A sLaPper *wink wink*, has apparently gotten with everyone, goes eeeerrrrrrrrrrr all the time- sounds like a doorhinge, she is amazing

Neil: lhe most normal of the demons probably

Horrible Histories

A SHOUTY MAN!!! :does all the infomercials, will try to sell you piss

King George VI (above) : "oh yesss, dad's dead, I'm king..."

King Richard III: a sweet little guy<3 -according to the song, get's attacked by whasp

Ghosts

Pat Butcher: Greatest DJ in the AAARRREEEEEUHHHHH, killed by a child, AKA Pete in the American version

Larry Rickard

Yonderland

Detective Mounteback: very dumb detective with very large hat

Elder Ho Tan: trans Icon, doesn't like loud noises, absolute baby<3

Sue: above, the lady with the gun from the episode I showed you

Horrible Histories

Bob Hale: weather report, needs a hellicopter and a nice cup of tea, basically Bill Wurtz

Lol knight with shit on head, Aztec guy, George III friend who slays so hard; "ConGRatu-VerY-LaTiOns your... *MAgEsTy*"

Ghosts

Humphrey: keeps getting left on roofs and shelves, does NOT know French smh

Robin: 5,000 yo ghosts, once saw a cool butterfly, KNOWS FRENCH! Got stuck by lightning and now he can turn on lights

and finally... the moment you've been waiting for...

Simon Farnaby!!!

Yonderland!!!

Negatus<333: Silly guy try to take over Yonderland but is just a lil guy, has an evil lair, uses The Font of Orris (cauldron thing that lets you see everything) as a hot tub, get's bullied by all the other overlords, wears pjs with houses on them.

Elder Flowers!!!: Long hair and lack of shirt, vegetarian hippie of the group, wants his clothes to be veGONE, "all you need is love, brothers... oh, and food"

Horrible Histories

Emperor Caligula: the wakkus bonkkus guy

Marcus Licinius Crassus: Knockoff Bassline Junkie song

Ghosts:

Jullian!!!: Died conducting an affair with his secretary!!!, is eternally sorta drunk, does the hand thing, only ghost that can interact with stuff, makes silly EEERREREEEEE noise when he's trying to move something, his name is Trevor in the American version, sad when there's no porn on da TV ;(, has no pants BTW

Thanks for coming to my TEDTALK!!!

Lemme know if I missed anything!

#yonderland #bbcghosts #negatus #sixidiots #themthere #ghosts

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tangledinink · 1 year

Note

Question about your Teenage Mutant What Now AU!

Has Leo always just been in puberty blockers since forever? Because I'm assuming he never had a period in his life because, well, reptiles menstruation is laying eggs

Kinda! I've actually thought about this a lot because I had the same question and went back and forth on it for a while. tldr; Leo has been on puberty blockers for the past three+ years and has never had a full menstrual cycle, but he does menstruate rather than lay eggs, at least when he's under the effect of his bracelet. Further details abt Leo's trans experience and how the cloaking crystals work below!

Leo has been on puberty blockers since he turned twelve and went on them before he had his first period. As we've established, Yoshi just kind of discovered that Leo was afab when he put the cloaking bracelets on them for the first time and was like "fuck it I don't have the time to unpack this right now you're Leo and you're my son whatever lesgo," and that was just kinda that and everyone involved was always just down with Leo being Leo. Leo certainly never had a problem with it, and he never felt any desire to switch over to being a girl and would get pretty upset if anyone (such as teachers or other parents) suggested he may be female. As such, Yoshi has always just treated Leo as his son and is more than willing to defend him from anyone who ever questioned his identity. His brothers, likewise, have always been very defensive of Leo and quite frankly were usually confused as children if anyone tried to say Leo was their sister. 'Cause??? Like??? Literally no he's not??? He's always been our brother???

When Leo was around eleven Yoshi did sit him down to actually talk to him about it in-depth, like, 'I love you no matter what and I support your choices but we've never actually for-real talked about this and I wanna make sure this is something that you want and not just something that you went along with,' (Leo, of course, at that point doesn't realize WHY he 'came out as trans' when he was five, he just kind of figures that he must have made the decision to start presenting as masc and go by 'Leo' when he was very little and doesn't remember it now,) as well as discuss the option of puberty blockers with him and ask if that's something he wants. And Leo is 1000% like. YES, I'm sure I'm a boy and YES I want to go on puberty blockers so very much I've been dreading the concept of puberty for months now pleeeesssase let's do that. So... they do, and that's that!

(And Yoshi would have gone along with whatever Leo said, but internally he's like, OH THANK GOD, because he's also like ?!?! How tf would turtle puberty translate?! Would the cloaking crystals cover that??? Surely my son wouldn't lay FUCKING EGGS but holy shit what if he did and would I be morally obligated to warn him just in case--!?!)

I do think that the cloaking crystals cover menstruation, however. In this AU, the cloaking crystals (at least the ones the Hamatos have) do provide an active transforming effect rather than just a 'disguise.' I don't think it could really work otherwise! It's definitely not a 100% transformative effect, though, and their true biology still plays a major influence on them. (ie they get cold easily! They swim really well and can hold their breath for a long time! They're naturally more athletically inclined than most other kids and a lot hardier! etc. etc. etc.) but I don't think it would leave gaps as big as to let them lay eggs or anything like that, just like it doesn't allow them to shed their skin or to go into full brumation. It's also worth noting that they're turtle mutants, but they're not full turtles. They're half-human, too! So who's to say if Leo would lay eggs even if didn't have the cloaking crystals or the puberty blockers? He does end up having one little baby period right after he goes on blockers, which is not super uncommon, and is very dramatic about it, but April big-sisters him through it and he hasn't had any since. In the fic he is currently in the process of starting testosterone in the near future, which is something that will be discussed/explored in later chapters!

#sorrywhatnowau #lore #asks #anon #leo #menstruation #periods #periods cw

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up-in-flames-writing · 6 months

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This is an old Twitter thread I'm posting here as an archive, when I eventually get banned on there for not tolerating transphobic abuse against me.

Still pretty relevant tho, even tho it was written almost a year & a half ago.

I'm sorry, I don't know how to do alt text, so here is the image ID under the cut:

[Image ID: A Twitter thread made by user Booker-Garet Feniks @abookandabun. The thread reads:

So, lately, I've been seeing some Takes™ on transition on here, & as a transman who looks like a baby butch lesbian, I have some Thoughts™, so here's a thread

First thing's first: I am short. I am skinny (read: underweight), & curvy. I have a more or less conventional hourglass figure. I also have a soft face, big lips & big eyes with long lashes. I keep my nails long & my hair long & when I cut them, they grow back fast

By all means, if I were a woman, I would be, if not conventionally attractive, at least conventionally feminine, with my small waist, wide hips, my long legs, & even my tiny tits. Despite this, I dress masculine. I hold myself like a man, I deepen my voice

My voice is naturally a bit deep, but not deep enough for there to be any ambiguity about what's in my pants. I still speak in a fake, deep voice, & when I introduce myself, I do it with a grin & tell everyone very openly 'my name is Booker-Garet'

Despite this, I do not pass. I am constantly Miss'ed & Ma'am'ed when I'm out & about. People who know me need to be told that I'm a man & go by he/him pronouns. Imagine that, imagine calling a teenage boy with an unambiguous male name 'she'. Imagine how I feel

How I feel when none of my efforts matter. How, when I'm at my most masculine while pre-op & pre-T, people see meas nothing more than a girl. It's distressing. I know what they're thinking, that I'm a tomboy or a lesbian. If they recognise that I'm trans, they don't show it

And, I feel like it's easy to get mad at GNC women. It's easy to get mad at the tomboys & the butches & the studs. 'They think I'm you' you might think. 'You're too visible & I'm not, & they think I'm you.'

I find it easy to blame a lot of ciswomen for this. The ones who tell me I should've just stayed a lesbian (which I never was), that I should've just been a tomboy (which I was), that I'm a traitor to womanhood (so be it). It is easy to get mad at them

It's hard being a trans guy, when the only pieces of masculinity coming from a female person people are aware of are the ones who are women, who stay women & who love being women. I didn't love being a woman. I love women, I love my cis & trans sisters

But I can't help feeling bitter when they perform masculinity & no one denies their womanhood, no one on the right side of history. But I can be my most manly self & even my allies feel that I'd just be better off as a lesbian, as a masculine woman.

As if masculinity is alright, is safe, as long as you're a woman who performs it, but the moment you're a man performing masculinity, you're not worth the time, the effort, the brain power.

Almost as I'd it's easier for people to accept me as a masculine woman, with my deep voice & my masculine name, than admit to the fact that I am a man

It's hard to admit that you don't pass. It's hard to admit that I'm not a 'real man', whatever that means. It's not, however, hard to admit that I don't have privilege. It's not hard to admit that I face misogyny.

It's not hard to admit that if you're AFAB & masc presenting, nothing short of a Thor voice & a Gandalf beard, & body hair like a gorilla will make people see you as anything but a woman. Because if I don't say this, who else will? I can't let people live a lie

I can't let people keep on believing that 'transmascs have it easier', that it's easier for us to pass. I can't let people keep believing that we 'run away from womanhood to have male privilege'. Where's my male privilege, Joanne? Did it get lost in the Owl Mail?

People will keep on believing that we have it easier, that we don't face discrimination, that we don't get misgendered & assaulted & killed. They will keep believing that, & they will keep ignoring us & our oppression, unless someone finally says 'Enough!' & tells their story

& I'm a good story teller, so I'm telling you. I don't pass, I wish I did, but I don't. Many of my brothers do not pass. Stop ignoring us just because you think we have it 'easier'. We don't, & your inaction is allowing us to get killed. Do better

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#booker speaks #transgender #transphobia #transandrophobia

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