#like they're mostly young adults not ready for the responsibility of taking care of a whole town

[dredshirtroberts]

Sometimes...Sometimes I get just so angry at my parents. Not for things they're currently doing - haven't heard from either of them in a few weeks. But for figuratively and literally handicapping me from easily navigating the social requirements of adulthood in a late-stage capitalist society.

And i can't say a damn thing on anywhere that family follows because you don't say bad things about your parents! they raised you! they sacrificed for you!

Bullshit.

They did no such fucking thing. Dad always had whatever gadget or geegaw he wanted - he was into computers before home computers were widely a thing, and he liked the newest, fanciest stuff. From Macintosh. Even now, the man will not stray from brand loyalty - gotta hand it to him, that's certainly a thing you can be is loyal. IDK why he chose Apple, or the republican party, or my mom (okay probably because she was hot - i've got good genes on that front and it's disingenuous to pretend that's not a million percent the reason my parents got together and ended up making me) but he did and he has stuck with those things for decades.

They also didn't do much raising of me. They sheltered me, sure. They fed me, made sure i was clothed. But they didn't... spend time with me. Unless they had to or it made them look good.

All of my memories of them from childhood are them checking in on me while i've been playing alone for what seemed like hours. Mostly to tell me i've made a mess and need to clean up or there will be punishment, or that it was time for a meal and to get ready to eat - but first pick up your toys.

I wasn't told how to clean up - i was just supposed to know. I wasn't told how to make friends, i was just told "Go talk to them!" but i was also taught to wait until you were acknowledged because interruptions were rude.

i was taught how to balance a checkbook. So i could access my allowance that theoretically didn't exist unless i asked for the money using the fake checks.

Most of my memories of childhood are being yelled at for not doing something I was just supposed to have known I guess - things I learned later that you have to be taught because I did eventually learn how to do it. But I was an adult.

And now I'm 10 mushrooms in a trenchcoat (possibly more! who knows!) polyam, queer, fucking Bernie Sanders' version of Socialist (which i know is not terribly far left in the grand scheme of things, but considering my parents continue to support 45 i feel like it's a pretty big swing from the young-republican, hitler-youth looking ass i was when i was a teenager and couldn't know better because i was isolated from everyone), and my body is broken because no one cared enough to take me to a doctor when I was injured unless it would make my parents look bad if I accidentally told someone I hadn't gone.

My sister had parents. I had absentee alcoholic older siblings who didn't even want me in the first place. Dad has said so several times - never in a way meant to hurt me, but you can't just tell your child you wanted to run away when you found out their mother was pregnant, and you can't tell your child they are no longer your responsibility because they've crossed some age threshold and you haven't considered them your "responsibility" in years.

I am...apoplectic with rage some days. More on the days where old injuries are what's keeping me down, rather than just the general horrificness of my own cringefail body and the multiplicity paired with about 8 different neurodivergencies and mental illnesses. More on the days where I remember that there are people out there who were loved. More on the days where I am shown kindness and compassion from those who shouldn't give it to me because I haven't had to earn it yet.

More on the days where I am struggling to try and come to terms with the fact that I will never be what I once, physicality-wise. More on the days where I look back at my life, at all of the decisions and choices I made - see that they were similar to or better than the ones my parents made, that I followed all the rules and directions as best I possibly fucking could...

...and yet I am blamed that I couldn't recover on my own from financial abuse that drained me more than dry. I am blamed for not being able to bootstrap it up because they did. I am blamed for not asking for help from people who never admitted they needed help until it was already too late for me to learn and they never offered help unless i'd fucked up first and then berated me for it.

I...

I am just so angry. And I want to publicly shame my parents for how they treated me. I want to publicly shame everyone who has treated me poorly because I DIDN'T DESERVE IT.

But that's impolite. So I won't.

...y e t.

#i have to remember i am leaving this place and they will be too far away to hurt me #i have to remember that because if i don't i will get so bogged down with how shit i feel that i will not do the steps that will help me #to get away #struggling a lot with the fact that a lot of the signs that i was abused are invisible #both then and now #it just looks like i'm the worthless piece of crap my parents always warned me i would be if i couldn't keep to the script #which they have decided i didn't do because i'm not who i was trying to be to earn their approval #i just wanted them to love me and i don't think that's within my power to make them do #which is absurd because have you met me? i'm one of the most lovable motherfuckers in this bitch

[shinidamachu]

Your take on Inuyasha being, well, good, reminded me about a similar situation that happened in the Fruits Basket fandom back in 2019 after the reboot was announced. I remember the main couple in FB were confirmed to of had 3 biological children post series and discourse over them doing the deed blew up because, like inukag, the 2 characters in the main couple were very shy. But like you said about inukag, they both read each other very well, care about each other's well-being and opinions, and are rather touchy-feely w/ the other, yet people were outraged and shocked that they were confirmed to of had sex. All because the main couple was presented as being "shy".

I know this is a little off topic, but I honestly just say a pattern with the misconceptions that "shy" or "awkward" characters can't have sex or if they do, then they must be bad at it and I'm just over here like, "....I'm sorry, what?", 'cause to me, that mindset makes no sense.

I've never watched Fruits Basket, so I can really only speak for Inuyashha and Kagome, but... from what you're saying, I think a huge part of it is that the audience saw the characters as very young and the relationship they had was mostly pure, innocent and chast. So I get having trouble associating this side of them to the one where they're sexually active.

For instance, I like Hermione and Ron, but I couldn't read a NSFW fanfic of them going at it as adults if you paid me. At the same type, I have no trouble recognizing they did have sex because they had canon, biological children. And that's fine. Sex is a natural thing. If it makes you weird to think about certain characters doing it, that's totally valid. But if they're non related, consensual adults, it doesn't have to be a big deal, though.

In Inukag's specific case, not only were they touch-feely with one another, but not all of their interactions were totally innocent. And people just... deliberately forget about it.

Not to mention that in the last episode, they were both 18 years old. It's only natural that they would be mature enough to take their relationship to the next level with responsibility, something they weren't quite ready to do as the immature, hormonal 15 years old they once were. After spending three years away from each other, it makes sense that they would want to eventually get married and have children, since they're finally reunited at last.

That being said, it's just insane to me that people would think that shy and akward characters wouldn't have sex or would be bad at it if they even do. One thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other.

You can be extroverted, the life of the party and be repulsed by the mere idea of having sex and you can be shy and akward and have a happy, healthy and active sex life. And so do the characters. Because sex is not who you are, it's not what makes you, you.

It's just a common things humans would do if they feel like it and reject if they don't. It's that simple.

#Can you imagine your grandma like #Oh shit I hit menopause and I have absolutely no desire to have sex anymore #Therefore I must now never be outgoing again and conform to be shy and akward for what's left of my life #sjgkgsadasdasd #Sidmailing

[thejustmaiden]

Jaken = Rin's Dad?

Okay, is this how a daughter treats their so-called father?

Most definitely not.

Rin and Jaken's relationship clearly screams of your typical sibling rivalry punctuated with cute and silly moments of playful bickering.

Yes, Jaken may technically be her main provider, but that doesn't necessarily equate to him being more of a father than Sesshomaru. If anything, he demonstrates more of a brotherly love towards her. As we all know, parents (which Sesshomaru embodies more based on real life patterns and parallels) will leave their older more capable children in charge of looking after their younger brothers and sisters. In this case, that would mean making Jaken responsible for watching over Rin and protecting her if need be. Ah-Un offers protection, too. Think of it as Jaken as the big brother and Ah-Un as the family dog who are babysitting while Sesshomaru as the parent of the household is away at work or taking care of business. I mean, they literally fit that description to a tee and I'm dying at the accuracy of it all! 🤣👌

[Quick! Someone write up a modern au where Sesshomaru finally gets out to have a nice date night but everything goes wrong in the most spectacular way. Like maybe Rin and Jaken catch a ride on Ah-Un to go spy!]

I recently revisited some episodes from The Final Act, and I couldn't believe how many moments like this there were where Rin got after Jaken or when she would "put him in his place" so to speak. Obviously, all of it is mostly harmless. I was only surprised by how often it occurred, not to mention how Jaken would just stand there and take it. Towards a supposed father figure, Rin's behavior is downright unacceptable. There's a certain level of respect a child is expected to show their parents/guardians, and that's just not what I'm witnessing here between them. Like at all.

Rather their dynamic has the nature of some sibling relationships like I mentioned above. So I really wish fans would stop pretending otherwise, because based on what we know of father-daughter relationships- healthy ones at least- they don't appear anything like what Jaken and Rin have. If you could please provide me other examples of where we've seen similar portrayals in fiction or in real life, then perhaps I can get on board.

Look, that doesn't have to mean that because Jaken isn't her father then Sesshomaru must be. They can both be her caretakers without necessarily filling that traditional father role. I'm just saying that if we're going to start assigning titles to characters, let's make sure we are accurate and truthful in our assessments. If you're going to label anyone Rin's dad, then it needs to be Sesshomaru. Jaken doesn't have precedence over him in terms of fatherly attributes, that just wouldn't make sense.

After all, this isn't about what you want to see, this is about what Rin very likely sees. It's safe to assume that she views Sesshomaru more like a father than she does Jaken. She knows she's safe with him (broadly speaking lol) and that he'll come for her no matter what. That sense of security and comfort is what a child seeks and what they should always feel in a parent's presence. She trusts and even idolizes him, just as a young and innocent child tends to do with their parents. At that age, parents are perfect and could do no wrong in their child's eyes. Idk about you, but this describes perfectly how Rin is around Sesshomaru.

Rin adores him and will follow him anywhere- yes, even into danger! That's what the innocence and unconditional love of a child will bring them to do if necessary. Fortunately, at the end of The Final Act we learn Sesshomaru takes Kaede's advice when he realizes that leaving Rin with her in the village is in her best interests. That way she'd be able to lead a more normal and safer life alongside other humans. Remember, Sessrin shippers, that doesn't mean he wasn't still a part of her life and didn't witness her become a young woman over the years right before his very eyes. Therefore, if they eventually do become romantically involved, then most if not all of those gifts had intimate and seductive intentions and it essentially constitutes as child grooming.

I understand from a Sessrin shipper's point of view why it'd be so much easier to claim Jaken as the father. In doing so, they diminish Sesshomaru's role in her upbringing. By refusing to acknowledge the real role he had in helping raise Rin (short periods can be crucial and impressionable too esp. in a child's early years so yes they did assist in raising her not only Kaede), these shippers are better able to justify how their filial-like relationship evolved into a romantic one. So yeah, I get it, if I were a Sessrin shipper I'd probably do the same. It's one of the more plausible arguments available to them, after all. "Let's pin Jaken as the father to fend off antis!" is the best chance they've got, but even so, it's still not good enough. But if you insist Jaken is indeed like a father to Rin, then Sesshomaru is most certainly one too. Who says she can't have two fathers anyway?

The thing is however much you want to deny or downplay what Sesshomaru truly means to Rin and vice versa, nothing will ever change or hide the truth of the matter. Please, stop acting like they're only traveling companions and nothing more. Some of y'all even go so far as to say that they're like strangers. Knowing potentially little about a person is not equal to a lack of love and affection. Making big assumptions such as this to defend your ship is actually doing you more harm than good. Let me elaborate.

According to your reasoning, if that's all Rin ever was to him was a companion and Sesshomaru had no real attachment to her, then what precisely is the basis of your ship? Recall that Adult!Rin doesn't exist yet, thus we have no real idea what she will be like or if she's even alive. So how can you make comments like that but then go on later to say "they have such a unique and unbreakable bond" or "only Rin can be the mother because she's the only human he ever cared for" if all that time spent traveling together didn't amount to much in the first place like you claimed to believe beforehand? Do you see how your rationalizing is confusing?

Contrary to what some of you may think, I'm not just saying all this because I'm an anti and I'm obligated to disagree with you, or whatever other excuse you want to tell yourself. Believe it or not, I'm attempting to give as unbiased and objective of an analysis I can based on widely accepted interpretations of family dynamics, development, and any history we know of.

Of course I respect that at times fans will perceive things differently since that's bound to happen. What's hard for me to wrap my head around however is the unwillingness of some fans- not exclusively Sessrin shippers- to apply basic common sense and sound judgment to their observations and deductions.

Looking at all our facts, then taking the small handful of scenes Sesshomaru and Rin do share together into account, one can logically conclude that their dynamic is akin to one found in a typical parent-child relationship. If you still fail to recognize Sesshomaru as a parent to Rin, then that's fine too. In the end, that won't really change the fact that he'd still take on a role resembling an adult figure overseeing a young child's care and protection. Be it as a vassal, guardian, what have you. Plus, nobody is saying here that Sesshomaru doesn't make mistakes regarding Rin's general well-being, but so do all parents. Overall, I think the majority of us agree that Rin is in good hands. Whether it's in his direct company or in his occasional supervision from his frequent visits to the village.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what exact title you assign him in relation to Rin, as the distribution of power is all inherently the same with any and all adult-child relationships. That bond never changes once you've established it either, seeing as it's a special kind of connection one can only form with a child and a child alone.

I was a teacher for a few years, and speaking from personal experience, you don't need to be a parent, per se, to take on a role of authority in a child's life. I know without a doubt that I could never and will never view any of those kids I taught in a sexual/romantic light later down the road; yes, not even once they become grown-ups who are independent and more than capable of making their own decisions. Those of you who disagree are usually missing the whole point though, because we're not trying to dictate what Adult!Rin can and cannot do like many tend to accuse of us doing. This isn't a question of taking away from her autonomy nor does it fall under "purity culture," which is why people shouldn't continue jumping to these outrageous conclusions and really listen for a change. You're deflecting from the real issue here when you choose to misinterpret what we're saying by ignoring the problem we're actually referring to. You cannot present a valid counter-argument if you persist in twisting our words.

Bottom line: once these kids become old enough to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, of course they have that right if they're ready. All we're trying to say is you guys ought to stop pushing forward this it's-completely-normal-to-want-to-bang-your-adoptive-dad-since-you're-an-adult-and-can-do-as-you-please agenda and not expect backlash. Ship it if you want, but please stop acting like their romance would be the epitome of a pure and healthy relationship.

Sesshomaru may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but it's foolish to presume he didn't actually care about Rin during their whole time together just because he didn't openly express his feelings until the very end. Surely everybody can comprehend that people handle and process their emotions differently. The way Sesshomaru chooses to is completely valid for the most part, so let's cut him some slack regarding this already.

What I'm trying to get at is that any child whose life you played an influential role in will always be a kid in a lot ways to you even when they're old and wrinkly. Just as they will always picture you as the loved one who guided and protected them when they were most vulnerable and couldn't always fend for themselves. Can't we relate this to children we know personally and apply it accordingly?

Finally, I want to end on this note. Could you kindly take a look at these two images below for a second?

The reason I ask is because of something I recently read that's relevant to the topic. There was this pro-sessrin tweet I saw that stated Rin trying to take care of Sesshomaru when they first met is what a mom would do for a child, which in their opinion, translates to Rin being more like a mother than a daughter if anything.

First off: are you freaking kidding me????

Seriously, so now children aren't allowed to tend to their sick or injured parents?! Parents are apparently superhuman and shouldn't be offered a helping hand from a child, even if they mean well and want to help their parent who's in pain?? Now this Twitter user was mostly being a smartass, but at the same time, it was evident they genuinely thought they offered a valid enough point that warranted no further explanation or clarification.

Secondly, by saying this Sessrin fans don't seem to realize that in actuality they're contradicting themselves and proving the point we've been trying to make all along. Glancing at the first picture and moving down to the second, the role of the one being cared for and the caretaker is reversed. So then by their own logic, Sesshomaru IS in fact like a father to Rin.

What it comes down to is the names you give to the roles these characters play aren't as crucial as the dynamic they share. The specific characteristics of that dynamic are what define the importance of said role, not so much the name in the role itself. So real father or not, Sesshomaru and Rin clearly mean a lot to each other. Close relationships are defined and solidified by the devotion and belonging they have to one another, not solely by the duration of time spent together and their proximity.

Well, that's a wrap! I hope you guys got something outta this blog, and that you enjoyed or found some portions of it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject from this fandom, but only engage in conversation if you plan to be respectful. Thank you!

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #sesshomaru #rin #jaken #anti sessrin #child grooming #family dynamics #parent child relationship

[frogsandfries]

The other day, I finally cracked and messaged my sister--the one with two kids--like a couple weeks ago there were drops of blood and then I was just inordinately exhausted all week and I want to blame it on the roommate. Now she's up my butt to test because she's wanted a kid since she was like twelve and she doesn't seem to comprehend that I'm not married, my father-in-law is not breathing down my husband's neck to make sure our baby/babies is/are taken care of. Tl;dr, she doesn't comprehend that I may have to do this mostly on my own, with no degree and student debt. Now, she keeps messaging me asking if I've done a pregnancy test.

Like I mentioned to my friend, to get a decent test, it's a day trip. I don't have phone service, so I would just disappear for like six hours, which isn't totally suspicious. Then honestly, I would rather do it at home, which would include waiting for our host to leave long enough for me to take the test, get everything cleaned up and take out the garbage, and have my reaction and time to calm down. I'm honestly not sure how I might react either way.

The man by whom I may have gotten pregnant has been working for six months to get his girlfriend back, so they can live somewhere she can feel safe and they can be together. Even though she's told me she questions the relationship, which is something I did in my previous relationship and I wished I'd listened to my gut. I haven't told him. From my perspective, he'd be a fucking moron to try to marry her because she's so young and this is her first serious adult relationship--but that seems to be his trajectory. Plus, he's so determined to protect her, he doesn't seem to communicate with her as if they're totally equal; whereas he treats me more equally, more like an adult, even though there are times when he doesn't give me information I think I need from him.

It's really very confusing that he treats me the way he does--he can be very affectionate, or dominant, or we can just be really chill together. We've been friends for so long, and I may overthink whatever it is we're doing. Who just fucks their best friend? What are we doing? This isn't what best friends do, right? And one of the things that fucks up my head the worst is, he literally doesn't remember what was going through his head the first time. Neither of us will ever know. And my dumb ass is just like, Oh no! I haven't had my period in months! There's noooo waaaaaay I could get pregnant!!

The circumstances under which this may have happened are kind of fucked up, so in some ways, I feel...... bad? Guilty? I don't know why. I had no idea. I had no way of knowing. But I feel responsible. I should've been the voice of reason and asked, "hey do you have a condom? Maybe don't cum inside." What are the fucking odds.....that I would get pregnant the first time someone has unprotected sex with me?? I also wish he would tell me straight-forward if he would be okay with me seeing it through; it won't change my mind, but knowing will help me cope. If I even am--it still seems so...like I stepped through the looking glass--oh, I was going to mention:

Yesterday night, we went out so he could get another beer and some snacks. He got roped into a conversation with an acquaintance of his, which got us roped into a seven-beers-and-two-bowls deep conversation that lasted three hours until I was just about ready to pass out. Before I realized how long the conversation was going to be, this guy rolled and lit a cigarette. This is far from the first time this guy has smoked his little hand-rolled smokes in front of me. When I caught a whiff of smoke this time, my head kind of reeled and out of nowhere, I was convinced I was going to puke. I think I would have, if I hadn't still had a little weed in my system. For better or worse, I did not puke at that time, and thus I got roped into this conversation, but hey, I got to use this really cool brass (bronze?) pipe from the seventies.

Then after addressing it like five times just in that conversation that we are not dating, this guy finally goes, Wait you two aren't dating? Something, something, back in my day, "she's not my girlfriend" didn't mean anything. Translation: He may have forgotten how young we are.

This morning, I was jolted out of sleep again convinced I was going to puke. Now I wonder with paranoia if it's in my head. My friend spent all weekend trying to convince me that I'm fine and somehow stressing about it is going to be the thing that makes it happen.

Anyway, so the point is: Right now, well when I most recently asked, he responded that it's not like he can claim the baby and keep his relationship. On the surface, yeah, that sounds shitty. Basically, he's saying he values this girl he's only known for about three years over our friendship of going on nine years. On the other hand, and maybe this is me making excuses, but he's been working on getting his girlfriend a stable, safe home for six months. He's also been fighting with her to let me live with them. Obviously he's not going to drop all that for a theoretical baby--I haven't had any symptoms yet. Plus, pretty much since we started being intimate, I've been a major brat about his girlfriend. I wouldn't have if I hadn't come out with my feelings about him.

At the risk of sounding like a delusional, lovesick teenager, he's the kind of person who takes on a lot of responsibility. He's currently the only one working, but he's making sure both of us here have food (our roommate getting fed is more incidentally), as well as making sure his girlfriend is fed. He's also the only one looking for a place (mostly because I don't know what he wants; he'd be the one seeing through the lease because at this point, I would trust that I won't be welcome around his girlfriend*). It really wouldn't surprise me if his desire to be a dad to his own kid took over.

*Can I address how much it bothers me that she seems to be trying to convince him how he should feel about me and what happened? She almost broke up with him because he still wants to help me. I wish he'd said fine and let her go. She probably would've come crying back into his arms in a couple hours anyway.

So anyway. Now I'm totally distracted.

I think my sister is just excited to potentially have a niece or nephew from her own side of the family, as well as finally getting to share her knowledge about something with me that she did before me.

I think my friend is just very focused on fulfilling his promise to someone about whom he cares deeply and doesn't want another thing to derail him. I'm sure he doesn't want his girlfriend to see this side of him. I would never force him to take responsibility for my choice--even if his decision would impact a whole other life. I had wanted to raise my child myself anyway, but......maybe we're both lying to each other about how much he cares for me.......

It's just.....hard to get over the trauma our friendship went through..... It's hard to understand....why he wants to be back in my life, why he wants me back in his life. It's hard to understand how we crossed that threshold of intimacy. It's hard to know how he wants me to read this exploration. Is he trying to make up for lost years? Apologize? Am I giving him too much credit? Is he really as shitty as he thinks he is? Well, for that matter, am I as worthless I think I am? Maybe I'm not the only one who was hurt by those things that happened. It's just hard to believe when I'm the only one saying it.