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#like truly its wild how so many elements of the book can be so good and geared to my specific interests and still hold no rereading interest
nyctarian · 3 years
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#1/#2/#personal#booksalt#saltblogging#sometimes i think about how soc was one of the biggest recent ya books#and how baked into a key element of the end is like magic yellowface plastic surgery#like straight up the disasterous characterization of kuwei and the way that plot is handled was one of the reasons i took#a million years to finish the second book#'this character has a crush on another boy and the boy that boy likes has had#his face magically made to look like the asian first boy so he takes advantage to kiss the second boy without his consent'#like truly its wild how so many elements of the book can be so good and geared to my specific interests and still hold no rereading interest#inej and kaz were great jesper was fun but the plot about him having a crush on kaz was dumb but otherwise love his vibes#waylan had a lot of potential but only really got interesting once he was all in on the crim lifestyle and the aforementioned yellowface is#of course a big yikes#nina and matthias. i understand the role of their characters but. they didnt need so much focus#kuwei truly was never given a single trait other than mean petty griping and the aforementioned nonconsensual kiss#and that is such an active choice by the author like#its six of crows heres the seventh i give no traits to only weird racializing semi homophobic stuff oh wait wdym no one makes content of him#this is another book that also suffered from 'i am giving every character a viewpoint chapter' and its simply a pet peeve of mine#anyways kiki strike *handshake emoji* six of crows#books i like that have weirdly unremarked upon yellowface that the narrative goes out of its way to justify as being really accurate#also i know there is headcanons and i think word of god comments from bardugo about kaz being asian or picturing him that way#and its fascinating how i can totally see that great headcanon but. it does not once make its way into the plot#and everyone else gets clear racial distinctions that the audience clearly recieved#but kaz just got generic dark haired white boy designation bc coughcough thats how hes written
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rainy-autumn-day · 4 years
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10 Books to read this Autumn & Halloween🍁🍂🍁
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1. Dracula  by Bram Stoker
This start of beautiful season off with something classic and a little scary.
The name of Dracula brings to mind visions of vampires, stakes, garlic, and crucifixes. Yet, when you read the novel, it becomes self-evident how twisted modern vampire fiction now is. The vampires in  this classic story are not meant to inhabit the roles of heroes. Instead you go back a few hundred years when men and women believed truly that the vampire was a real immortal, cursed to quench his undying thirst with a living mortal’s blood. The very idea of a blood drinker should, therefore, inspire the image of a villain and that is what the titular character of this novel is. A villan you can’t help but keep reading about. 
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2.  And Then There Were None by  Agatha Christie
Another story that is perfect if you want something that will keep you up at night like it did for me when I read it last year.
There is scarcely any comfort to be found in this book, only an ancient, arcane horror. Ten people receive a mystery letter from someone they don't know that indicates they should come to a remote island. Why would they go????? After arriving, they try to figure out the connection between all of them while waiting for their mysterious host. After coming across a cute little poem about how ten little indians die, they decide they will wait it out until the next morning when the ferry comes back to take them home. But it will never come! Each guest suddenly dies matching the line from a poem. It really keeps you on the edge of your seat.
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3.  THE BONE WITCH BY RIN CHUPECO
A story about a young witch just fits so well with this season, but this story is not about a teenage witch =just flying around on a broom. No it’s far darker than that. When Tea accidentally resurrects her brother from the dead, she learns she is different from the other witches in her family. Her gift for necromancy means that she’s a bone witch, a title that makes her feared and ostracized by her community. But Tea finds solace and guidance with an older, wiser bone witch, who takes Tea and her brother to another land for training.In her new home, Tea puts all her energy into becoming an asha—one who can wield elemental magic. But dark forces are approaching quickly, and in the face of danger, Tea will have to overcome her obstacles…and make a powerful choice.
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4. Night Film by Marisha Pessl
This story opens in October on a cool evening with a blood chilling scene, it’s really everything you could hope for on a autumn night.
Night Film opens on a cold, cursed October evening, when Ashley Cordova, a young women full of potential, is found dead in a warehouse. Police rule her death a suicide, but investigative journalist Scott McGrath isn't so sure. From that inception point, Scott McGrath enters the strange circumstances surrounding Ashley's life and death, and comes face-to-face with the legacy of her father: the legendary, reclusive cult-horror film director Stanislaus Cordova--a man who hasn't been seen in public for more than thirty years. For McGrath, another death connected to this seemingly cursed family dynasty seems more than just a coincidence. Though much has been written about Cordova's dark and unsettling films, very little is known about the man himself. Driven by revenge, curiosity, and a need for the truth, McGrath, with the aid of two strangers, is drawn deeper and deeper into Cordova's eerie, hypnotic world. The last time he got close to exposing the director, McGrath lost his marriage and his career. This time he might lose even more.
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5. Autumn by Ali Smith
Ali Smith's lauded Seasonal quartet, a series of four novels rooted in a different time of year, kicks off with Autumn there we watch as love is won, love is lost. Hope is hand in hand with hopelessness. The seasons roll round, as they always do.
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6. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
I can’t tell you how many times i have read  this beaful story in my life buti wants have it one my list to read at last once a year and i find it fits so well in to the amazing season that is autumn with   The romantic clash between the opinionated Elizabeth and her proud beau, Mr. Darcy, is a splendid performance of civilized sparring
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7.I Know Who You Are by Alice Feeney
This story is haunting and it will stay with you after you read it.
It's dark, twisted and unpredictable until the very last chapter keeping me on the edge of my seat from the very beginning. You are met with the unknown as you meet Aimee Sinclair, an actress who after coming home, she realizes her husband is missing and after that you are sent on a wild ride to find him.
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8.Little Women by Louisa May Alcott  
Another classic. I have always found that that reading about a world now gone is so very perfect for autumn, as we watch the leaves we had watch grow turn colors and fly away from us.
Little Women is a beauty told story with each of the sisters seeks out a different form of happiness: Meg wants to marry, Jo wants to be a writer, Beth wants to care for her family, and Amy craves material success. We get to live their world as we following the lives and loves of the four March sisters and their mother as they mature from youth through adolescence and adulthood.
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9.Mexican Gothic  by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
If you love gothic horror, this one is for you. It has the same feeling as Jane Eyre but way creepier and set in 1950’s Mexico.
The atmosphere is perfect for the season, a debutante heads to a creepy countryside house, after receiving an ominous letter from her newlywed cousin, and finds the dark secrets that lie within the house and its occupants.
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10.The Sun Down Motel by Simone St. James
A suspenseful and eerie mystery told via dual timelines all surrounding a rundown roadside motel and the secrets lurking that captivated a woman so much that she went missing in the 1980’s and now have caught the attention of her niece 35 years later. If you love a good mystery mixed with timeline jumping this a perfect one for you.
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Bonus
11.The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson
Handmaid’s Tale meets Salem: Born of rebellious feminist resistance by a girl who is branded as cursed because of her mother’s sins and facing the dark powers to make definite and concrete changes at the dystopian, puritanical, secluded society consisted of hypocrisy, ignorance, illogical and unfair laws.
This is another terrifying, fist clenching, soul shivering, mind crushing, heart pounding, forehead sweating, edgy, spooky, bleak, dark journey take you to the dark woods to face the four witches are ready to haunt you in your dreams and place a quite irritating thoughts inside your brains.
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jealous cassian but this time instead of competing with high lords and sons of high lords what if it's a general from another court... this general could also be a lover of romance books and sweets ;)
I had a lot of fun with this one and I may have fallen a little bit in love with my own OC 🤷‍♀️
Nesta Archeron was not a force of nature. People loved to describe strong women as forces of nature, but that wasn’t her. That was Feyre. Feyre was brash and wild and unpredictable as a tsunami or an avalanche.
Nesta Archeron was a collection of cosmic power held tight and controlled beneath iron thick magic-infused skin.
Which made her an amazing general. All of that power and her amazing control. That was what was required to lead a legion.
Contrary to popular belief, Cassian was not a wild thing. He was not a good general because he was wild and elemental. He was a good general because he was in control. Because he woke up every morning and he didn’t flash his siphons around and try to beat anyone into submission. He trained. He fought. He lead by example. He flew at the head of his legions. He showed them the he was the best.
Mates were equals. It should have surprised no one that Nesta wanted to raise an army.
And she did. Oh she did. Nesta Archeron went to every court in Prythian and she picked up women who wanted to fight. She went down into the Court of Nightmares and took any women who wanted to fight with her. Freed them. Liberated them. Nesta planned on a small unit of females. By the time she was done she commanded thousands. It was the second largest military force in Prythian. Right after the Illyrians. Which was a nightly topic of debate. When she would surpass him. Cassian would be pissed if it happened sooner than a century.
Nesta was determined to make it happen by the end of the decade. Which was why she had set up this meeting with the new general of Spring.
“General,” the tall, pale man inclined his head, light brown hair falling over his brow as he did. “General,” he said it again, inclining his head in Cassian’s direction now. Lips tipping up in an amused smile and pale blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “To what do I owe the pleasure of having you both here?”
Nesta adjusted the knife strap around her thigh and moved into the room ahead of both males. “Cassian has decided to high-jack my meeting because he is intimidated by my success. His official reason, however, is that you are new and he comes to speak on behalf of the Night Court. To ensure that your goals are aligned.”
“Hmm, and you?” The general pulled out a chair at the head of the table and gestured for Nesta to take it. His breath tickled her neck as he leaned in to push the chair in after she sat. “What are your interests, Nesta Archeron.”
“Romance novels and chocolate cake, mostly.” Cassian laughed.
“Good taste,” the general smiled. “Hadley Minn?” a well-know romance novelist from Dawn. Sweet stories of proper young ladies falling in love and having missionary sex.
Nesta smiled just a little. “Sellyn Drake.”
He whistled low under his breath. “I like your style, Archeron.”
Cassian’s eyebrows drew together as he watched this male look over Nesta with a new type of appreciation.
“My name is Malakai.” The general reached his hand out first to Nesta, holding on a little too long and then to Cassian. Who squeezed his hand harder than necessary. The general just smiled broadly. “Call me Kai.”
“Well Kai,” Cassian leaned back in his chair, wings spreading out behind him. “What can you tell me about the Spring Court’s forces now that your court has got its army together enough to have a general?”
Kai just kept smiling. Kind and open. “And what would you tell me about your forces, if asked?”
“Absolutely nothing,” Cassian admitted.
“So no disrespect general, but…”
“I told him this was pointless,” Nesta rolled her eyes. “I, on the other hand, have something of actual use to discuss with you.”
“Happy to be of service,” the Spring general winked.
Cassian tensed up in his chair. arms crossing over each other and face going stone hard.
“Excellent. Now, I know your High Lord is a chauvinist, but I’d like to start by asking if you are too, because that will determine how I approach this conversation.”
The air tensed for a second. Cassian prepared to jump in between his mate and this male. Insulting someone’s High Lord… he’d be surprised if the male managed to just kick her out and not attack like a feral animal.
“Is she always this direct?” Kai’s smile never faltered. Not for a second.
“Talking to him instead of me answers that question,” Nesta muttered. “So, here’s what you’re going to-”
“I did not mean to offend you, General. I assure you it is my sincerest belief that females are just as militarily capable as males.”
Nesta narrowed her eyes. “So you plan to train females along with males in your new army?”
“Of course I do,” Kai shrugged. “Who would be stupid enough to give up half their military power because of their sex?”
“Spring is a small court,” Cassian said. “You only have one army. It gets more complicated when there are several. In the larger territories.”
“I see.”
“What he means to say is that significant parts of the Autumn, Night, Day, and Winter courts do not train their females to fight. Their main armies might, but different territories in the courts run that way. And actually Night and Autumn even their main armies don’t train females.” Nesta glared at her mate.
“They do now.” Cassian sighed, not needing to be reminded how long it took to reach this point.
“Ah,” Kai nodded, “you’re here to see if I planned to train the females and to take them with you in your liberation march if I said no.”
“I run an army that trains those other courts reject.”
“So I have heard, an extraordinary feat from an extraordinary woman.” His teeth glittered as he smiled, eyes entirely focused on Nesta. “I know you have your reasons for distrusting my High Lord, but he is trying. Trying to return this court to what it once was. I’m a part of that. Our army will train anyone who wants to fight. And it will protect the human/Fae border.”
Nesta blinked. That was…
“I fought in the war,” Kai nodded to Cassian. “I always admired how you fought at the front of your legions, General. You are the legend everyone claims you to be, but I have to admit…” He turned to face Nesta. “I accepted this meeting so that I could meet you.”
Cassian growled low in his throat. “How does this keep happening?” He muttered under his breath, low enough for Nesta to hear but not Kai. Cassian loved Nesta with his entire being. Heart, body, and soul. The problem was that, apparently, so did every other male in Prythian.
Nesta smirked, subtly reaching her foot out under the table to kick him in the shin for being a possessive brute.
“I met with Eris Vanserra last week. He commands Autumn’s armies.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Cassian said that one loud enough for Nesta and Kai to hear.
“I mentioned I was meeting with you. I knew about your army, of course. But I asked him what to expect meeting you. And instead of answering he told me what you said in the High Lord’s meeting. About humans. I’m pretty sure his point was that I should prepare myself if I was trying to go up against a female who paused seven High Lords in their tracks, but… it is rare to meet a Fae who cares about humans. Truly cares.”
“Well I was one.” Nesta stared forward, unsure where this conversation was going.
“I know. Cauldron born. Phenomenal cosmic powers. Ability to bring us all to our knees if you wanted to. But instead you choose to defend humans and make an army of Fae the courts have cast off.”
“Nes knows how amazing she is,” Cassian cut in. Two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “Could you get to the point please?”
“I want to work with you.” Kai said, point blank, staring at Nesta.
“I bet you do,” Cassian muttered.
“I have my own army, general. I’m not interested in working for anyone else.”
“Not for. With. I want… my forces are beaten down. Their morale is weak. Faith is low. I… you brought the High Lords to heel and you started an army from nothing. I’d like your advice.”
Nesta swallowed. She’d accomplished amazing things. So many amazing things, but still… no one had ever asked her for advice. Help. Expertise. She was the novice. She… he wanted her help.
“My army is from all over Prythian,” Nesta said. “We train in the Night Court because the territory is massive and that’s my home, but… Spring doesn’t have the manpower to protect that border. Convince Tamlin to let me bring in some of my warriors to protect the human border and I’ll help you with whatever you want.”
“Deal,” Kai smiled, reaching out his hand.
Nesta shook it.
Later, after they took off and she was wrapped up in Cassian’s arms as they flew back to Velaris, her mate was stone faced once again.
“I swear to the mother, Nes, if he proposes to you I’m going to make what Feyre did to the Spring Court look like a Sunday walk along the fucking Sidra.”
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seasaltmemories · 2 years
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The Winter Prince Review/Analysis
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So I have a complicated relationship with YA fiction. In general there’s the old, "is it ok to like media for younger demographics," debate. The common consensus pendulum will swing from "why are you so against media that teenage girls like" to "you’re just numbing yourself with simple, easy material and aren’t branching out and growing up." The obvious middle ground is there are high quality works for all demographics, so just have a well-rounded media diet, but even then sometimes I have trouble ignoring the noise.
My specific baggage comes from having come of age once the YA market was well established with the likes of Harry Potter, Twilight, and the Hunger Games. So while I was the perfect target audience for this boom, I was never really encouraged to explore outside of it. There are some great YA series I still enjoy and am glad to have read, but there is still a general sort of flavor found in most popular commercial entries. These days, even adult-marketed books will sometimes carry that same flavor, just due to how much money can be made by also being able to pull in a YA audience.
All this is to say, when I picked up, The Winter Prince, a middle grade historical fiction title published by Elizabeth Wein in 1993, a part of me still had this fear it would be a simple, easily consumable, safe affair. And instead it was a wild roller-coaster that went harder than many works I've read praised for their grittiness.
For more context, here’s the summary: Medraut is the eldest son of Artos, high king of Britain; and, but for an accident of birth, would-be heir to the throne. Instead, his younger half-brother, Lleu, is chosen to be prince of Britain. Lleu is fragile, often ill, unskilled in weaponry and statesmanship, and childishly afraid of the dark. Even Lleu's twin sister, Goewin, seems more suited to rule the kingdom.
Medraut cannot bear to be commanded and contradicted by this weakling brother who he feels has usurped his birthright and his father's favor. Torn and bitter, haunted by jealousy, self-doubt, and thwarted ambition, he joins Morgause, the high king's treacherous sister, in a plot to force Artos to forfeit his power and kingdom in exchange for Lleu's life. But this plot soon proves to be much more - a battlefield on which Medraut is forced to decide, for good or evil, where his own allegiance truly lies...
If some of these details ring familiar to you, it is because Wein, is pretty open about this being her retelling of Arthurian legend. While the setting is purely grounded in 6th century Great Britain, considering the focus Medraut and Morgause’s relationship gets, to the point where the entire novel is in the style of him recounting the entire narrative to her, it isn’t hard to guess the dark secret bubbling below the surface. This series has often been compared to the Queen’s Thief series, another middle grade series that still had a pretty substantial adult audience. Never venturing anywhere too inappropriate for twelve year-olds, but also not talking down to the audience. So I expected the backstory elements to remain a tastefully implied backdrop to the sibling rivalry brewing in the forefront.
Anyway three or so chapters in Medraut very directly explains that he is the product of incest to the twins. And from there we have a very intense story of inter-generational abuse and trauma that does not pull back its punches.
It’s hardly the first narrative I’ve consumed to go there. In fact it makes a surprisingly amazing companion piece to the anime Penguindrum, I just finished. (Hopefully I can get around to reviewing that as well.) But what drew me in from the start was how it knew how to let a scene play out without an internal monologue providing commentary on why Medraut is making his choices and how he feels. the first half of the novel or so is mostly vignettes that all strung together paint a very clear picture of his relationship with the twins. Perhaps it sounds like I’m just describing good writing, but again, even literary works I’ve picked up will feel the need to explain everything in clear, distinct terms. The subtlety of the Winter Prince comes less from a need for censorship, but more from trusting the audience to be able to put the pieces together.
And along with that confidence we’re able to witness the nuance of Medraut’s feelings. We see him genuinely look out for the twins, bond and care for them, even while his resentment grows. In one scene he will affirm Lleu of his ability to one day grow into a great king while the next he will bond with Goewin of their jealousy of his position. I’ve seen other reviewers describe his behavior as confusing and nonsensical, but to me it felt like a very real sort of love-hate relationship that comes from these tense situations.
All helped by the fact that Lleu is more than just a spoiled brat. Over the novel he comes into his own as a brilliant swordsman and sociable charmer. (And in interesting fashion, this growing competency only fuels Medraut and Goewin’s jealousy.) He has his own trauma and baggage beyond simple "pressures to be golden child/heir," and it is genuinely painful to see him try and cope with Medraut’s growing erratic behavior. It is beyond easy to sympathize with both brothers, which makes the inevitable writing on the wall all the more painful to read.
I have to admit that the latter half of the book is weaker than the first. We trade out those vignettes for more plotty action, which can make the swing of love-hate feel more melodramatic. But I was hooked enough into the characters and their struggles to still enjoy it, even if it was less tightly constructed. Plus what it loses in tasteful balance it more than makes up in sheer excitement and tension. For the last fourth of the book, I would read a paragraph, scream, and have to turn away because I couldn’t believe this middle grade novel was going there. Hell, by the end the shock value transcended the age demographic issue, it was like the entire curtain of innuendo had been dropped to reveal the raw wound that Medraut saw most his existence as. Seriously the fact we have a canon bi protagonist is a footnote in comparison to the torrent of pain and self-loathing.
If you’re not the type to enjoy that high stakes emotional whirlwind, then I understand this book not being for you. I don’t know if it would be classified as "good rep" or a "respectful portrayal of serious issues," but good Lord did it remind me why I love reading after a boring stream of smug "nuancedTM" bestsellers. Where it prides itself in being messy and complex, but never to the point where you lose sympathy for a "good guy" as there is always a bigger evil you can hate without question. Perhaps I’m just tired of living through moral panics, but in a world where school-boards argue they have to protect 8th graders from being exposed to curse words, the fact this little firecracker was not only put out by a mainstream publisher in the 90s but was marketed towards children, it feels like a miracle it exists. Like I can’t imagine what twelve year old they expected to pick this up.
But then again, I do remember being in 8th grade or so, picking up what i assumed would be another middle-of-the-road paranormal romance YA novel, and then having my world rocked when it ended on a tragic cliffhanger. I reread the ending over and over again, stunned that a novel was "allowed" to do something like that and make me feel such intense things.
That said, the series apparently was never a commercial success, to the point where the final novel remains unpublished bc of publishers not wanting to touch a series finale with such low sales. Call this a call to action or whatever, but if you check out/like this book, then consider going the extra effort to purchase a new copy. Or it doesn’t even have to be this specific book. Just at the end of the day, remember to support small, weird, yet daring art.
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xoruffitup · 3 years
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Annette: The AD Devotee Review
So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!
Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.
While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.
A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.
To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!
The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 
And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!
The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.
Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!
Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….
I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.
But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.
Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.
While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.
Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.
His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  
Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.
In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.
Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.
(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.
Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.
The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.
Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺
I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.
Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.
Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”
Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.
On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.
Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.
...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.
I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3
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Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)
*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*
Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)
The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.
The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.
Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.
Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)
Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.
…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.
BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)
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shezzaspeare · 3 years
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Pilot/Episode 1: Patching Things Up With Pastiche & Fanfiction
Hi, hello, and the wait is finally over! My name is Blessie, and welcome to the first episode webisode log installation I've decided to call these things an episode for now because why not also let me know what do you actually call these things episode of The Science of Fanfiction, where we take a closer look into our beloved works of fanon because we've all got plenty of time to spare till Season 5. Before I continue, I would like to thank everyone who's liked and reblogged the last few posts before this one. It means a lot for a small and growing Tumblr user like me, and your support is something I cherish more than my modules. You guys rock!
Anyways, like with most things, we have to talk about the boring and bland stuff before we proceed with the fun stuff. For today, we are going to settle the difference between a couple of things: first being the confusion between pastiche and fanfiction; then the distinctions between tropes, clichés, and stereotypes, which we'll tackle the next time. It's important for us to establish their true meanings in order for us to really understand what fanfiction truly is, even if it's merely just a work done for the fandom. I know – it's boring, it's something that shouldn't be expounded that much, but I believe that all forms of writing (unless it's plagiarised) is a work of art — and fanfiction is not something we always talk about. I hope that by the end of this, you'll learn about what they really are as much as I did. Let's begin to talk about the—
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[Image ID: A flashback of John (left) and Sherlock (right) finding an elephant (not in the screen) in a room in The Sign of Three. End ID]
. . . I did say that this GIF will always have to make an appearance here, didn't I?
So, just as with Sherlock Holmes, all other works of fiction have their own pastiches and fanfiction, and many more original works out there have taken inspiration from them to create their own books. Although they've gained popular attention, this will not be possible if they did not have taken inspiration from the materials their writers had at the time.
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[Image ID: Various actors as Dracula. Jeremy Brett in 'Dracula' (1978) (upper left), Adam Sandler in a voice role for 'Hotel Transylvania' (2012) (upper right), Gary Oldman in 'Dracula' (1992) (lower left), and Bela Lugosi in 'Dracula' (1933) (lower right). End ID]
For instance, Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' (the second most adapted literary character, next to the consulting detective himself) has been portrayed on the screen over 200 times — from Gary Oldman to Adam Sandler — and has spawned off numerous books and pastiches of its own such as Stephen King's 'Salem's Lot'. Its cultural impact served as a basis of how we see vampires today, since some characteristics of the Count were made by Stoker himself. Stoker's creation is the brainchild of his predecessors and inspirations.
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[Image ID: Vlad the Impaler (left) and a book cover of 'Carmilla' by J. Sheridan Le Fanu (right). End ID]
Other than the ongoing hysteria over dead back then and the existing vampire folklore, Stoker also took his inspirations from the published books on vampires he had at hand. He is said to have taken inspiration from Vlad the Impaler, a Romanian national hero known allegedly for having impalement as his favourite method of torture. He is also said to have been inspired by the J. Sheridan Le Fanu's 'Carmilla', a Gothic lesbian vampire novella that predates Dracula by 26 years. I could go on, but hey, we're going back to Sherlock Holmes now before I deviate any further. However, if you want to know about Dracula's literary origins, I suggest you watch Ted-ED's videos about the subject matter such as this one or this one.
Very much like Stoker, ACD didn't just conceive Holmes on his own. He took his own inspirations from what he had available at the time.
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[Image ID: Dr Joseph Bell (left) and Edgar Allan Poe (right). End ID]
As we all know, ACD's biggest inspiration for Sherlock Holmes was one of his teachers at the Edinburgh University, Joseph Bell. He was famous for his powers of deduction, and he was also interested in forensic science — both characteristics which Holmes is greatly known for. He also drew inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe's sleuth, C. Auguste Dupin ('The Purloined Letter' & 'Murders in Rue Morgue'). As ACD himself has said at the 1909 Poe Centennial Dinner: "Where was the detective story until Poe breathed life into it?" Some other writers he took after are Wilkie Collins, Émile Gaboriau, and Oscar Wilde.
Now, what does this say about us Sherlockians/Holmesians (depending if you're the coloniser or the one that was colonised)? Basically, ACD laid the groundwork for us with Sherlock Holmes: his humble abode 221B that he shares with his flatmate Dr. John Watson, his adventures, memoirs, return, casebook, last vow, and all that. Now that we have this material at hand, we can now make our own versions, takes, or even original stories featuring the characters of the Canon. Our inspiration comes from ACD's Sherlock Holmes, and we now get the chance to make our very own stories/conspiracy theories about them.
As I have mentioned earlier, Sherlock Holmes is the most adapted literary character in history. He has been adapted in over 200 films, more than 750 radio adaptations, a ballet, 2 musicals; and he's become a mouse, a woman, a dog, even a bloody cucumber. On top of all that are numerous pastiches and fanfics, and finally, we have arrived at the main topic of our post!
Fanfiction and pastiche are often confused together since they have three common elements: they take after the original work, they usually use the characters in that original work, and more often than not do are they set in that same time frame/period or not long after that. The common misconception is that pastiche are printed fanfiction, which is only partly true. While pastiche is definitely fanfiction in some ways and vice versa, there are fanfictions out there that aren't necessarily classified as pastiche that have been published.
Let's get on with our definition of terms to clear up the confusion a little more. Pastiche, according to Literary Terms, is:
. . . a creative work that imitates another author or genre. It’s a way of paying respect, or honor, to great works of the past. Pastiche differs from parody in that pastiche isn’t making fun of the works it imitates – however, the tone of pastiche is often humorous.
A good example of a pastiche is Sophie Hannah's 'The Monogram Murders', which is her take from Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot.
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[Image ID: A book cover of 'The Monogram Murders' by Sophie Hannah. End ID.]
Although this was a commission from Christie's estate, it's still considered as a pastiche as:
It's takes after Christie's writing style;
It is set in the early years of Poirot's career (1929), which is still within the time frame that the author wrote him in;
It features Poirot and;
It pays respect to Christie in a sense that it stays true to her (Christie) characters and way of storytelling.
Meanwhile, our good and slightly unreliable friend Wikipedia defines fanfiction as:
. . . is fictional writing written by fans, commonly of an existing work of fiction. The author uses copyrighted characters, settings, or other intellectual property from the original creator(s) as a basis for their writing. [It] ranges from a couple of sentences to an entire novel, and fans can both keep the creator's characters and settings and/or add their own. [ . . . ] [It] can be based on any fictional (and sometimes non-fictional) subject. Common bases for fanfiction include novels, movies, bands, and video games.
To avoid any copyright infringement issues if I ever use a popular fanfic in the fandom, we'll use my (unfinished and unpopular) Sherlock Wattpad fic, 'Play Pretend'. You can read it here.
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[Image ID: The second self-made book cover of Blessie/shezzaspeare's 'Play Pretend'. End ID]
Why is it considered a fanfiction and not a pastiche?
It takes after an adaptation of Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock) which is a TV show, not the ACD canon itself;
The author (in this case myself) uses her own writing style and does not take after the original story's style;
Although it is set well in modern-day London and after Season 4, it also features scenes decades before the actual fanfic is set and outside of London;
I added a considerable number of characters, i.e. siblings to canon characters;
I had my own take some of the canon characters' personality especially after the events of Sherrinford;
It is written by a fan – myself. It is a work of fan labour and;
It is only a work of fanon, and isn't likely going to be considered by the show as its writing style is different from the actual show.
To put it simply, you can have more freedom in a fanfiction as it does not necessarily restrict you to follow or take after the original stories. Alternate universes (AUs) such as Unilock and Teenlock are perfect examples of this thing.
So can a pastiche be classified as fanfiction? Yes.
Can a fanfiction be classified as pastiche? Not all the time.
What's the difference? While yes, they share the basics, pastiche is technically leans more onto the original work's fundamental elements whereas fanfiction is a broader range of works inspired by the original work but doesn't necessarily follow all or any of its fundamental elements.
In order for us to understand it more, I'll give another example.
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[Image ID: The 'Enola Holmes' title card (upper left) and Henry Cavill as its Sherlock holmes (upper right). Underneath it is a a scene from the opening titles of BBC Sherlock (lower left) and Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes in A Scandal In Belgravia. (lower right) End ID]
Most of you are familiar with these 21st-century adaptations of Holmes: the 2020 adaptation of Nancy Springer's Enola Holmes books and BBC Sherlock, which needs no further explanation – but for those who don't know, it's basically Holmes and the gang if they were alive today. I specifically chose these two as they are the ones that I believe would get my points across best. Though both are considered as wonderful pastiches with a well-rounded cast and awesome visuals, if we break them down bit by bit, we'll see which one is more of a pastiche and which one is more of a fanfic. (Yes, I know they're both screen adaptations. However, as Enola Holmes was based on the books and BBC Sherlock's fanfiction has the show's scenes written out in most fanfics, hear me out.)
They share these characteristics of a pastiche:
They feature characters from the Canon (Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, and Lestrade);
They have additional characters added by the writers (Including but not limited to Molly Hooper, Eurus Holmes, and Philip Anderson for BBC Sherlock while Enola Holmes has Lord Tewkesbury, Eudoria Holmes, and Enola herself) and;
They pay respect to the original Canon as their stories are based on the cases (BBC Sherlock) or simply what was going on around them (Enola Holmes).
They also share these characteristics of a fanfic:
They are made by enthusiasts of Sherlock Holmes (Moffat has called himself and Mark Gatiss 'Sherlock Holmes geeks', while Nancy Springer's Enola Holmes books are not just one or two but six);
They follow a common trope (we'll discuss these tropes in the following episodes) that goes on in the fandom (Sherlock's Sister & Modern AU)
They are based on a fictional subject (Sherlock Holmes);
They used characters and story elements that are copyrighted by the author/author's estate (fun fact: prior to the production of Enola Holmes, the Conan Doyle Estate filed a lawsuit against Springer & Netflix over Sherlock's emotions since he was more 'sympathetic' than he was portrayed in the Canon – this was later dismissed by both parties) and;
Their writing styles don't necessarily follow ACD's.
Despite these similarities, there are very obvious differences between the two that separates them from being a pastiche and a fanfiction.
Enola Holmes embodies pastiche more as it doesn't stray far away from the original elements of the Canon. It's still set in Victorian England. While Springer added characters of her own and definitely twisted the Canon to suit her series, she didn't necessarily place them out of the social construct that was going on around the characters. It follows ACD's writing style more as Enola Holmes' setting still remains within the Canon's original setting.
Meanwhile, we can safely say that BBC Sherlock is a work of fanfiction. While it did give us The Abominable Bride, the main series focused on Holmes and Watson in 21st-century England, which is drastically different from Victorian England. There are phones, black cabs, and cellphones — things which ACD Sherlock Holmes doesn't have. It also diverted from the Canon in the characters themselves, which is mostly seen in the names: Henry Baskerville became Henry Knight, Charles Augustus Milverton became Charles Augustus Magnussen, the H in Dr Watson's name stood for Hamish and Sherlock's full name is actually William Sherlock Scott Holmes. They also changed the personalities of some Canon characters: Mary was actually an ex-assassin, Mrs Hudson was an exotic dancer who drove a kick-ass sports car, Irene Adler is a dominatrix, to name a few. Moffat and Gatiss created a world of their own featuring the characters of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, which is really what most of us fanfic writers do with Mofftiss' rendition of Holmes.
In conclusion: while pastiche and fanfiction could have been the same thing, they're actually not. There's more to them that just printed fanfiction or pastiche e-books, and we all should take some time to see and observe them in a closer perspective.
And that's it for our first episode! I hope you enjoyed it. It was a lot fun for me to write this, especially now that I'm only starting. I would also like to note that while intensive research has been done on this series, some parts of this comes from my own observation and opinion, which may vary from yours. I am very much open to criticism, as long as it is said in a polite and civil manner. I'm still young, and to be educated as I go is something that could really help me with this series.
Like and reblog this you like it. It helps out a lot. Be sure to follow me as well and the tags underneath if you want to see more of TSoF.
See you soon!
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isuckatreadinglol · 3 years
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Crooked Kingdom Review 🕰️
Holy shit.
(spoiler warning, duh)
Book: Crooked Kingdom (Book 2 of the Six of Crows Duology)
Author: Leigh Bardugo
Rating: 5.5/5
The Plot
This book took me a bit longer to finish because I wanted to absorb as much of the plot as possible because of how much action there was. Every chapter had something going wrong (cough cough part 4) which made it impossible to put the book down. Some parts literally had my heart racing.
There were a lot of interesting moments and I would hardly say they were predictable. At some parts of the book I literally had to just...sit there and just think about how incredible the twists were. I never expected anything to happen, and the way things played out in the end were mind-blowing. I loved the way the plot expanded and it was very satisfying when the book ended.
The Characters
"Where do you think the money went?" he repeated.
"Guns?" asked Jesper
"Ships?" queried Inej.
"Bombs?" suggested Wylan.
"Political bribes?" offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. "This is where you tell us how awful we are," she whispered.
I fell in love with every single character and watching them grow made me so happy. I think personally I loved Kaz Brekker the most in this book because you really got to see how his trauma left him scarred, as well as how skillful he really is when it came to the missions. The smallest details of Kaz's character just built him into such an awesome character. His backstory expanded, explaining so many things that I didn't even think I needed to know until I read them. Plus the fact that he basically wrote the book. Leigh made up the idea for the plot and Kaz said "I'll take it from here".
"I don't hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins"
And that was what destroyed you in the end: the longing for something you could never have.
Inej stole my heart again and again and for what. She really is such a well-built character with amazing determination. The beginning literally had me shaking (It was also the part of the book that had my heart-racing) because I really felt for Inej. Leigh also wrote Inej's kidnapped chapters perfectly, it felt so real. Her showdown with White Blade was so beautifully written and honestly Dunyasha was such a cool character I almost wish she was developed into something more rather than killed.
Anyway, Inej holds a place in my heart and it was refreshing to have such an in depth character, from her history at the Menagerie, to her references of her culture (which were so beautiful). It really made her stand out from the rest of the crew and she was just an incredible character.
"That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway."
"The Suli believe that when we do wrong, we give life to our shadows. Every sin makes the shadow stronger, until eventually the shadow is stronger than you."
Her heart was a river that carried her to the sea.
Jesper was the character I resonated the most with. His backstory was so interesting and structured, but simple. I did enjoy the appearance of his father because it added an element of Jesper's character we didn't see much of before. We got to learn his backstory and learn about his relationship with his father. His unhealthy habits was also something I resonated with so it comforted me to be able to understand this character and connect with him. Also, I love the fact that his ADHD was given more attention to show how and why he dealt with situations the way he did. Also, when he bent the direction of the bullet at the last part...chills. He's my ultimate comfort character and I loved getting to know him.
Guilt and love and resentment were all tangled up inside him, and every time he tried to unravel the knot in his gut, it just got worse.
There's a wound in you, and the tables, the dice, the cards--they feel like medicine. They soothe you, put you right for a time. But they're poison, Jesper. Every time you play, you take another sip.
Nina was definitely one of my favorite characters to see grow. The creativity that was put into her powers was amazing and she was just such a badass. She could literally raise fuckers from the DEAD????? That shit made me lose my mind like how powerful can she GET. She was definitely an awesome character and I really wished we got some more on her powers and her story after they got their money.
She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown.
Wylan...sweet Wylan. I love him so much it hurts. He was such an entertaining character and his courage was awesome, he really stood out from the rest of the characters because of how different he was from all of them. He also admired all of the crows and was treated like a little brother by all of them which was so cute. The character development went from "Why am I here?" to "How can I help?" and I loved seeing him become a part of the crows. Also in that last scene where he's just leaning against the wall, beat the fuck up, was so good SAINTS.
Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he'd learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kaz the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope, he'd learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win.
But they were his first friends, his only friends, and Wylan knew that even if he’d had his pick of a thousand companions, these would have been the people he chose.
Matthias back with his long ass chapters (until chapter 40 LOL) (i'm so sorry that was outta pocket). Anyway, I still had meh feelings for him but I loved him and Nina's relationship. Yes, I shed a few tears when he died that shit hurt come on now. I did like to see his protective side and him overcoming his fears and past beliefs. The character development in him was immaculate.
He was on the ice once more, and somewhere he could hear the wolves howling. But this time, he knew they were welcoming him home.
The Ships
Kanej: cries. literally in tears. bawling my eyes out. throughout the entire book. THEY HELD HANDSSSSSS, HE OPENED UP TO HERRRRR, THE SHIPPPP AND THE PARENTSSSSSSSS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HEARTTTTTT
I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.
Wesper: adorable adorable adorable. my favorite gay mfs in the world. Jesper is such a fucking flirt though he had ME blushing. Also when Jesper kissed Kuwei HAHAHA WHATTT, the way Kuwei was like 😏 had me gone. Anyway, the chemistry between these two was something else (so much better than in the first book) and the ending with them was wholesome I'm so happy they got the happy ending.
Wylan shrugged. “Maybe. Not all poisons have an antidote.” Jesper snorted. “That’s why we call him Wylan Van Sunshine.”
This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it Wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh. (<3)
Helnik: cries. again. sobs. This one hurt me so bad, I literally was just sitting in my bed staring at the wall, book in hand, crying. They had such a beautiful relationship and they grew so much together it HURT. The way Matthias was so protective of Nina and was always worrying about her. They planned their future together in their heads all the time. They were SO HAPPY WHY COULDN"T THEY JUST BE HAPPY.
They deserved the world.
I will always protect you, even in death, I will find a way.
You aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the wood blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You are a stampede. You are overwhelming.
Final Thoughts:
My final thoughts are scattered throughout the review, but overall this book took everything from Six of Crows and made it better. It broke me, made me laugh, had me angry as fuck, but it also left me feeling like I knew these characters and they knew me. It really was so much better than the first book in so many different levels and I will never get over this book. Truly better than waffles.
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mihidecet · 4 years
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SBi d&d AU: Tubbo
Aka: Tibi’s MCYT WritingTober, day 20!
From @the-only-gamer-gost ‘s list of prompts, another entry for “Fanmade AU” ahahah And as requested by a super cool anon: “ i'd love to see more of tommy's backstory in the d&d au! especially if we can meet tubbo?” :D
Ask and you shall receive! You can also find Tubbo’s reference sheet made by the wonderful @whatimevendoinhere here! Also, @rigatonipastaroni made a super sweet comic about the reunion, waaay before the chapter was even posted!!
There is nothing quite as sad as a bard with a broken guitar. 
It happens during a fight, a sadly-not-that-unusual spar with a rogue elemental that had decided to mess with a village just because they had been bored. 
Absolutely unrelatable. Tommy's patron had commented, the absolute hypocrite.
Still, the overall business had been quite straightforward: get to the outskirts, find the bad guy, kick their ass, profit. 
Nothing they hadn't done before. 
And like everything they expected to go smoothly, things went wrong. 
Tommy would say that thankfully nobody had gotten hurt, and everyone was perfectly fine, and they'd gotten a particularly big reward for something that standard. 
Wilbur would say, instead, that his guitar had been irreparably damaged, its neck snapped in half and body ripped apart, shards laying on the ground like blood, a gruesome heart-wrenching sight that would haunt him until the end of times. 
Tommy's patron had warned him that his second-degree cousin was a bit dramatic, but maybe it was just standard bard behaviour.
To be fair, the guitar was mostly gone. 
Wilbur had picked up as many pieces as he could and stuffed them in its case, but no amount of mending cantrips had been able to fix it. Phil had tried, but he didn't know how guitars worked and it was hard to discriminate where each shard needed to be placed in order to mold it all back together, like a freakishly hard jigsaw puzzle. 
And Wilbur had been extremely proud of his guitar, as apparently it had been a gift and a memento of his grandiose adventures. Sentimental values and such. 
Not that Tommy could say anything about it, not after the friendship bracelet incident.
For about a week, every time they stopped by a town, they looked for a carpenter first, a musical expert second, and an arcane expert third. 
They never managed to fix it. The thing was, it happened to be a weirdly specific and skill-needing task, so nobody they found was either confident enough or prepared enough to do it. 
So they moved on, and the bard's lament continued.
It gets to the point where one night, the innkeeper approaches their table during one of Will's performances - the tiefling had insisted in keeping the tradition of offering his musical entertainment in each tavern they resided in, now with just his voice and sometimes his flute, but being unable to have music as he sang and vice versa was truly different. 
That night, Wilbur is singing a ballad so sad and tear-jerking that the innkeeper actually approaches them and asks if everything is alright. 
"Oh- oh, yes, my apologies, everything is alright. -" Phil instantly responds, looking quite awkward "- It's just that his guitar broke, and we haven't been able to find anyone to fix it. It was of great personal importance." 
The innkeeper nods understandingly, an expression of deep empathetic sadness on their face, before their eyes light up. 
"You know, I might just have what you need. You guys are lucky, the Fixer Upper just arrived a week ago! If he doesn't know how to fix it, nobody will." 
After obtaining a brief explanation of where to find this infamous "Fixer Upper", who apparently works for free and will probably ask for food, shelter or protection as he moves to the next town over, the innkeeper leaves them be, assuring them that it'll be the solution to all their problems. 
Phil finds himself, despite the overall skepticism, feeling a bit of hope. If nothing, at least he might be able to convince Wilbur to buy a new one - make new memories. 
Even Wilbur is less enthusiastic than usual when they tell him, but after all they've been redirected to plenty of miracle workers that turned out to be unable to do anything.
The only thing that feels a bit off, is how Tommy's patron keeps giggling in his head - the way he does when he knows something Tommy doesn't. It's a bother, but Tommy's too tired to try and investigate.
The "Fixer Upper" is staying in a farm just outside the village, apparently sleeping in the barn. 
He comes to the village every couple of months, apparently used to circling back around the same couple of dozen of places, constantly travelling from one to the other and helping out whoever needs something fixed. The innkeeper that recommended him apparently had him fix their son's prosthetic leg, which has been working better than ever. 
The fact that he never asks for compensation is what keeps them all on the defensive: nobody does anything for anyone without coin on the line, so Wilbur is already somewhat expecting to find yet another old relative making deals with young children. 
Yes, he is still a bit bothered by the fact that his second degree cousin spends half of his time inside Tommy's head. 
No, he's not going to bring it up. 
 Approaching the barn, an increasing cacophony of sounds greets them, and Wilbur starts looking less and less convinced and more and more like he wants to leave - not to blame him, the noises are definitely not reassuring. 
They enter the barn, where one side is perfectly fine and the other has a bunch of mechanical and metallic parts strewn on the ground. 
At this point, Techno has a hand on Wilbur's arm, either to instill some confidence in him or to keep him from running away with the shattered guitar.
Then all of them stop, frozen in their tracks, as something completely out of the ordinary appears from behind a wooden wall - that is quite an extraordinary feat, considering the peculiar array of people they are. 
There's a huge block of metal, vaguely rectangular shaped and painted black and yellow, floating towards them. It has what looks like the spinny part of a windmill rotating at embarrassingly high speed over it, and the noise it makes vaguely resembles that of a low hum, or maybe a buzz. 
Two large semi-transparent circles - its … eyes? - emit a soft light that shines against Phil's palm as it bumps against him, the elf cooing with an adoring expression. 
"Hello dear, you're not one of nature's children but you are alive, aren't you?" 
Even Tommy, who has no idea how magic or nature works - he made a pact with a demon for a reason, alright? - can see that it's an impressive display of craftsmanship. 
Wilbur is looking quite confused on Phil's right, but he's no longer needing Techno to keep him from bailing on the whole thing. And to be honest, if somebody's able to make … this, maybe they'll be able to fix his guitar. 
"AH- Visitors! Sorry, I hadn't heard you coming in-" a short figure stumbles in sight from behind a pile of apparently garbage.
The short man, who appears to be human, had wild brown hair, somewhat darker in certain spots where black oil seems to have gotten stuck. There seems to be oil and soot all over his clothes and hands, where bandages cover his fingers.
On his head reside a pair of goggles - multiple lenses of different thicknesses and colours appended to its sides - and he's holding a wrench as if they'd interrupted his work, which would explain the worrying noises. 
The mechanic has a bright welcoming smile on his face when he appears, which immediately falters the moment he sees the infamous mercenary group, expression turning to fear. Which is understandable, given their fame of being quick, efficient and rather costly, unless they're working for the good of all.
Then it turns to shock, when Tommy takes a tentative step forward from behind Phil's back. Which is less understandable.
"Tubbo?" Tommy's voice calls, almost breathless. The boy takes off his goggles and blinks. The wrench he was holding clutters to the ground.
"Holy shit, Toms."
The warlock lets out a strangled yelp, then blinks out of existence in a puff of bright red smoke, reappearing right in front of the other boy and picking him up in a bone crushing hug as he laughs - more joyous than Wilbur's ever heard him - and the two of them fall to the ground.
When Tubbo is still a teenager, he loses his best friend to the prejudice and scorn of their hometown. 
All they need to see are the buddying horns on his forehead, the flames licking at his fingertips, the reddening skin around his eyes, and they banish him. 
They come for him, in the middle of the night, and find nobody but his parents in his home, because Tommy has always been smarter than he let on. 
Half a day earlier, Tommy had said his goodbyes to the last few people that deserved to know where he was going; never once asking for his parents' forgiveness for something he always knew he was going to do - Tubbo had never seen his best friend more sure of anything, even at the worst moments, when the ritual was about to begin, or the few first weeks when he had to use all his coins to buy salve for burns.
And so Tubbo was left alone, left behind. 
It lasted for one day.
Tubbo had never been particularly gifted in the craft his parents had tried to teach him - glass blowing was definitely not his forte, his hands too strong, his grip too tight - and he'd never shown any latent arcane power. Books on the arcane were long, boring and complex, the glyphs all looking the same and mixing with each other on the page. 
But that didn't mean anything to him: he was going to do great things, with or without magic, and he was going to find his best friend again. 
Fate wanted to keep them apart? Tubbo was going to stare Fate in the face and laugh. 
If the glyphs and arcane chants of the mages weren't going to cooperate, he was going to force his hands into the fabric of the arcane plane and pull magic out by himself. 
And again, why stick to prayers and dealings with other entities when he could just make it himself?
To be fair, it does take him a lot more time than the couple of weeks of research and half-and-hour-deal that was Tommy's experience. But Tubbo's always been a quick learner.
The day he finishes his big project, he leaves his home, ready for adventure. 
He has a map of the coast, enough coin to pay for emergencies and a backpack full of the tools he needs to offer his assistance to whomever will need it. 
His marked path will bring him around the same towns. Tommy is bound to pass by at least one of them during his travels. 
Tubbo's going to be alright.
Tommy's eyes are absolutely not, under no circumstances, shining as he tries to squeeze the life out of his best friend. 
Tubbo is just laughing, which is quite rude in Tommy's personal opinion, he should be struggling to breathe due to his impressive strength.
"Look at you! You made it!" The mechanic cheers, squeezing tighter - which, ouch, when did he become strong, it must have been all the working with metal, this is the worst possible outcome. Tommy lets him go for a moment, leaning back to splutter and wave wildly at the mechanical bee still intent on bumping its head against Phil's hand. By the Nine Hells, Tubbo made a living bee with the attitude of a puppy out of metal. 
"I made it?! You made bees!" Tommy protests, feeling a swell of pride for how far his best friend has come. On a completely unrelated note, there must be light shining insistently in his eyes. 
"I know! Aren't they cute! Ah! Let me introduce you to them!" Tubbo exclaims, hurrying to stand up - nearly elbowing Tommy in the gut - and grabbing his hand so that he can drag Tommy towards the bee from earlier. 
Then he stops in his tracks - which makes Tommy slam into his back and get oil stains on his favourite shirt - as he realises there are three other people in the room, all staring at them with varying degrees of amusement. 
"So, what just happened?" Wilbur asks, looking quite shell shocked. 
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wellhalesbells · 3 years
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✨✨ TOP FIVES FOR 2020 ✨✨
2020 was, i think we can all agree, a massively chaotic year but i have never consumed as much media before in my life, so i thought others might benefit from my slothery uh, connoisseur.... ship?  yes, that.  below are the books, comics, shows, and movies that got me through!
B O O K S .
the starless sea, by erin morgenstern - i loooove this book because it loves me back.  it says: ‘oh, you’re a reader, well i have just the thing for you.’  it luxuriates in language and story and riddles and fairy tales and it feels like an entire library in a single tome.
they never learn, by layne fargo - oh fuuuuuck, this was satisfying.  i thought it might feel a little exploitative as it is very aware of the zeitgeist and likely would not exist without the #metoo movement but it never ever did.  this was a fucking ROMP, period.  reading about a woman getting away with murdering skeezy guy after rapey guy after shitty human just made me happier and happier.
moonflower murders, by anthony horowitz - this is the second in the susan ryeland series (and the first was hardcore good fun too) and really feels very classic mystery with the artful twist of catering to the literary community.  mainly because: susan isn’t a detective, she’s an editor and she gets drafted in this time because the clue to what happened to a missing woman is in a book she edited, if she can find it.  both of the books in this series have such an excellent coming together moment that is rare af to find.
the invisible life of addie larue, by v.e. schwab - the writing in this is just so good.  it has that feel to me where i just want to drop the book and open up my own page and let my fingers fly.  it’s that inspiring kind of writing that reminds you of all the things language can do.
crown of feathers/heart of flames, by nicki pau preto - aaahhh, this series is SO FREAKING GOOD!  why is there not more of a fandom for it, why???? it is so many of my favorite tropes all resting perfectly together to the point where you almost forget they’re tropes because they just so naturally evolved there.  ugh, it’s just.... it’s so heart-bursty good.
.... number 5, part 2?  raybearer, by jordan ifueko - this was just so original and i was invested af.  like, what a brilliant idea though and an even better execution??  i loved every character and am so looking forward to the next in the series so i can get to know them even better!!
honorable mentions (sh*t i still liked a whole heckuva lot): you/hidden bodies, by caroline kepnes // writers & lovers, by lily king // i’ll be gone in the dark, by michelle mcnamara // the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, by joseph fink & jeffrey cranor // girl, serpent, thorn, by melissa bashardoust // a little life, by hanya yanagihara // the guinevere deception, by kiersten white // obsidio (and the entire illuminae series), by amie kaufman & jay kristoff // the bone houses, by emily lloyd-jones // house of salt and sorrows, by erin a. craig // we hunt the flame, by hafsah faizal // savage legion, by matt wallace // blacktop wasteland, by s.a. cosby // crier’s war, by nina varela // the empress of salt and fortune/when the tiger came down the mountain, by nghi vo // upright women wanted, by sarah gailey // the monster of elendhaven, by jennifer giesbrecht // a deadly education, by naomi novik // you let me in, by camilla bruce // when you ask me where i’m going, by jasmin kaur // the lights go out in lychford/last stand in lychford (and the entire lychford series), by paul cornell // the devil and the dark water, by stuart turton // serpent & dove, by shelby mahurin // one by one, by ruth ware // ruthless gods (this was SUCH an upshot from the first book - it’s worth sticking with if you’re on the fence), by emily a. duncan // cemetery boys, by aiden thomas // the inheritance games, by jennifer lynn barnes // the fortunate ones (2021 release), by ed tarkington
C O M I C S .
cosmoknights, by hannah templer - the art was gorgeous, the gayness was glorious, and just.... hot HOOOOOOOOT lady knights in space?!  a princess winning her own hand?  find something not to love in there, i dare you.
don’t go without me, by rosemary valero-o’connell - wow. wow wow wow wow wow.  the writing was stunning, so lyrical and atmospheric and deep, and rosemary has to be one of my favorite artists but even that managed to come as a beautiful surprise because it was just so freaking bold.
through the woods, by emily carroll - i loooove emily carroll, the convergence of spine-tingling horror and art that feeds into it, that is both visually and aesthetically pleasing, is hard to beat!  p.s. i also read beneath the dead oak tree from her this year and it was also a BANGER.
the impending blindness of billie scott, by zoe thorogood - zoe is someone that i just want to follow.  she’s just starting and i want to be there for every single step.  i love her art style and her ability to tell a story with it.
above the clouds, by melissa pagluica - this was so unique, and such a baller concept, as nearly half the entire book is conveyed only through the art and yet you’re never once lost, never once confused as to what any character is thinking or feeling.  it’s a story within a story and only one of those gets words though they both are chock full of emotion!
um.... number 5, part 2? crowded, by christopher sebela - everything about this series is fun af.  crowd-funded assassination and a hirable bodyguard who’s rated like an uber driver???  and the chemistry between the two mains is so great and gay!!
honorable mentions: monster and the beast, by renji // long exposure, by kam ‘mars’ heyward // fence, by c.s. pacat // invisible kingdom, by g. willow wilson // ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson // heathen, by natasha alterici // not drunk enough, by tess stone // giant days, by john allison // die, by kieron gillen // be prepared, by vera brosgol // ascender (sequel to descender, which is also great), by jeff lemire // the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north // bang! bang! boom!, by melanie schoen // gideon falls, by jeff lemire // life of melody, by mari costa // cry wolf girl, by ariel slamet ries // the tea dragon society, by katie o’neill // ptsd, by guillaume singelin // heartstopper, by alice oseman // solutions and other problems, by allie brosh // finding home, by hari conner // the magic fish, by trung le nguyen // something is killing the children, by james tynion iv // the weight of them, by noelle stevenson // spill zone, by scott westerfeld // skyward, by joe henderson // miles morales, by saladin ahmed
F I L M S.
parasite, dir. bong joon ho - oh it was satisfying, oh it was suspenseful, oh i had to watch some of it through my fingers but i loooooooved it.  such a good story and so well made.
knives out, dir. rian johnson - okay, everything about this movie was amazing.  every single character was fun as hell and i could’ve watched an entire movie about each of them.  what a great fucking mystery!
blindspotting, dir. carlos lopez estrada -  this made my heart hurt so damn much.  what glorious writing, acting, and story!
portrait of a lady on fire, dir. celine sciamma - gooooorgeous cinematography, amazing chemistry, and such a soft, atmospheric film.
the farewell, dir. lulu wang - i cried and my heart felt so full and i love it so so much.
um.... number 5, part 2? someone great, dir. jennifer kaytin robinson - no part of me expected to love a netflix movie this much but it’s a love story that doesn’t get told that often??  the end of a relationship and the true love of friendship and i love these girls and i love jenny and nate’s broken relationship.
honorable mentions: eighth grade, dir. bo burnham // booksmart, dir. olivia wilde // midsommar, dir. ari aster // the curse of la llorona, dir. michael chaves // the secret life of pets 2, dirs. chris renaud & jonathan del val // jojo rabbit, dir. taika waititi // the invisible man, dir. leigh whannell // the favourite, dir. yorgos lanthimos // can you ever forgive me?, dir. marielle heller // troop zero, dirs. bert & bertie // ready or not, dirs. matt bettinelli-olpin & tyler gillett // brave, dirs. mark andrews & brenda chapman & steve purcell // the half of it, dir. alice wu // palm springs, dir. max barbakow // doctor sleep, dir. mike flanaghan // uncut gems, dirs. benny sadfie & josh sadfie // birds of prey, dir. cathy van // bloodshot, dir. dave wilson // the old guard, dir. gina prince-bythewood // enola holmes, dir. harry bradbeer // hocus pocus, dir. kenny ortega // always be my maybe, dir. nahnatchka khan // finding dory, dirs. andrew stanton & angus maclane // die hard, dir. john mctiernan
S H O W S .
black sails (2014) - this show, this shooooooooow.  i cannot, it just makes me want to cry with how good it is.  the characters, the EMOTIONS, the story, the plaaaaaan.  like, the creators clearly had a plan for every single step of this show and it was a gOOD, GOOD PLAN.
the untamed (2019) - truly, cheesy good fun with one of the best gay romances ever.  i love these characters and their relationships to each other and the way it glories in its own ridiculousness.
the righteous gemstones (2019) - one of the things that bothered me about my next choice (the ratio of female to male nudity) was so much more realistic in this one (i mean, we’ve all gotten five thousand dick pics and i know like three people?  so the fact that there is so rarely male nudity in shows when there are tits everywhere..... no, how does that even make a tiny bit of sense?).  this show was such great, wonderful, awful fun.  they’re not great people and the show is under no delusion about that and it’s GLORIOUS!
the witcher (2019) - this was just hella fun, i loved the characters and the fantasy elements.  i’m excited for the next season, it’s just entertaining swashbuckling through and through!
fargo (2014) - all of this was really very enjoyable with the through line being somebody fucks shit up and gets involved in something they really shouldn’t be involved in that’s going to swallow them whole.  season one and season three were my stand-out favorites but they were all so violent, clever, and vicious!
um.... number 5, part 2? central park (2020) - um..... so many of the hamilton actors in a muscial cartoon drawn and written by the bob’s burgers team? WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND AMAZING?!  it was such a joy to hear daveed diggs and leslie odom jr.’s voices again!!
honorable mentions: schitt’s creek // the mandalorian // mr. robot // broadchurch // mindhunter // jack ryan // the good place // the end of the f***ing world // big little lies // elite // kidding // servant // letterkenny // curb your enthusiasm // i am not okay with this // ozark // buzzfeed unsolved: true crime/supernatural // you // runaways // dear white people // dickinson // brooklyn nine-nine // will & grace // 9-1-1 // dead to me // solar opposites // never have i ever // killing eve // what we do in the shadows // grace and frankie // avenue 5 // roswell, new mexico // the bold type // evil // tuca & bertie // impulse // the umbrella academy // watchmen // infinity train // corporate // search party // on becoming a god in central florida // a.p. bio // criminal: uk // the morning show // mythic quest // last week tonight // prodigal son // the great
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quitethepirategal · 3 years
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An Analysis in Threes
❥ TAGGED BY: @emcads​ like 30 years ago ❥ TAGGING: @riidcr​ @starsailingcaptain​ @covencrown​ @hookd​ @all-fleshed-out​ @evermxre​ @motherofredemption​ @bup1957​ @conquistadoradelmar​ @seaprofound​ @tcthinecwnself​ @withinycu​ @windguided​ @daevilhorns​ @concordia-cum-sinistro​ and YOU and I spent like 8 hours on this so pLEASE READ IT PLEASE I AM BEGGING I NEED VALIDATION I’M-
     repost don’t reblog. yall dont have to type this much.
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MUSE: Captain Red Handed Jessica
Three Strengths:
     Her adaptability and resourcefulness.  Is she brave, yes.  Is she lucky, also yes.   But over all, she can roll with the cards she’s been dealt in a way that many would call inhumanly clever.  Her intelligence, her perception, and her charisma are all different ingredients of this indomitable characteristic of hers.  She can see the value in just about anything and anyone, can pick up on clues and tangents few others can follow, and can remember seemingly endless details, tho unfortunately not on command.  But even then, her patchy memory seems to contribute to this adaptability as well, as it usually allows for detachment.  If she can find resources everywhere, it means she can survive everywhere. There have been countless times where the wheel of fortune has suddenly turned on her and she’d lost near everything and her response was more or less Damn, ok I need food water and shelter lets go.  No food?  Grow food.  No water?  Ask someone if they have water.  No shelter?  Sleep outside.  No money?  Steal money.  Can’t hear anymore?  Cool I can use loud weapons.  Crashed on an island?  My island now.  Shot?  Free bullet.  She knows when to push, she knows when to quit, and sometimes she knows when to gamble based on her ability ( what a man can do and what he can’t do and all that ).  Strong she may be, she knows its foolish to rely on strength.  Survival of the fittest actually rarely means survival of the strongest. ( edit; this is the theme for the entirety of her character. I will say it 50,000 times. I am very sorry ).  And as a student of philosophy and biology, she understands that phrase better than most. Leading to our next point.
     Her understanding.  As I stated, her charisma is something unmatched, and is a key element in all three of her strengths.  This charisma might not exist as prominently were it not for her ability to understand.  She has limited ( I’ll get back to that ) but deep running empathy and while not terribly observant all the time, she is always perceptive.  Not only that, but she’s personally known abuse, hardship, and uncertainty, and understands that hate or anger can be rooted in similar pain.  She was schooled lightly in both Christian and Buddhist values before diving heavily into democratic philosophy, meaning she believes all being experience suffering and therefore kindness is a powerful sign of strength, but also that suffering while free and equal is better than comfort in oppression.  And between her sweet words and beautiful face, she can get most people to open up in ways they themselves my not have expected.  Being very good with people means she can learn from them, gain something from them, lead them, and/or use them.  But Jessica isn’t a manipulator in truth; her intentions are almost always kind or healthy ones.  She absolutely uses people from time to time but not EVER without them consenting to or being made aware of such because again, unlike a manipulative person, she understands that can ruin a relationship and therefore ruin a resource.  What it makes for is an excellent leader, a beloved captain, and a trusted ally at most and an excellent conversationalist at the least.      But her understanding isn’t just social, oh no.  It’s academic as well.  Armed only with his little library and the lessons of his own teachers, Jessica’s foster father tirelessly smithed her into a not just a girl who knew a lot of things, but a truly intelligent, thinking mind. He’d die before learning he’d succeeded tenfold.  Jessica isn’t one to just except things as they are, facts or otherwise.  She usually needs to prove it, experiment, see things from a new angle.  Debates with her are fun!  She has no issue admitting she’s wrong or confessing she’s never thought of it that way, and is actually wrong a lot of the time.  It doesn’t bruise her ego, it excites her.  It means there’s more to learn.  And her ability to constantly understand new concepts paired with her ability to overwhelmingly understand people combine to make for a very powerful core idea of hers:  We are fittest to survive because we all fit together.  Our humanity, our empathy, our community are our strengths because they keep us united, which keeps us the fittest.  No one is independent, no man is an island.  People are power. And thus her final strength is just that.
     Her power.  While she and I still firmly state that strength isn’t everything don’t be disillusioned; its very goddamn important.  And it’s something Jessica has plenty of.  She is durable and clever because of her rocky early childhood, she is quick and versatile from her youth in a pirate port, she is physically strong and mighty from her years training in martial arts, and she’s an absolute crackshot after years of diligent practice with her trusty pistols.  Her true strength may lie in her brains and in her allies yes, but even without them, Red Jessica is a powerhouse of a warrior.  She can end fights extremely quickly or run from them without a prayer of catching her ( no shame in the later, both skills keep you alive ).  And it may be in bad taste to say, but ever since loosing most of her hearing, Jess swears up and down it’s made her vision better, her reaction time faster, and her quick thinking even quicker.  Yes of course she’s slowed down with age, but a bullet shoots at the same speed no matter how old you are.  And you best hope she didn’t bring her firecrackers, because while sudden loud noises will absolutely temporarily discombobulate or debilitate an opponent with healthy hearing, it’ll hardly effect her at all and suddenly, you’re a sitting duck.  You see those thighs?  You see those calves?  She can crush PINEAPPLES with them!  People have seen her do it!  Do you know how many micro-fractures broke and rebuilt those hands?  Thousands!  She can crush a trachea like a fucking beer can!  She can kick you to death!  One ill placed curb stomp and you are DECEASED.  Sometimes she’ll just psyche you out because she KNOWS you know she can kill your stupid ass!       But while her strength, mental and physical, have always been there, her power is relatively new.  As stated before, people are power.  Not knowledge, not money, not strength.  People.  She’s a fearsome warrior but she’d be useless if outnumbered.  Shes a very successful pirate, but she’d never make it out of port without a crew on her ship.  She found a gorgeous island, but it’d still be wild without those who built it’s piers and buildings.  She manages orchards and tends to them and harvests them herself, but she would loose all of her crop without the helping hands of her employed farmers.  And like I mentioned, she deeply understands this.  Freedom is not independence or vice versa.  Did you make the clothes on your back or the fabric that made those clothes?  Did you write the books you read to make you smarter or teach you that skill?  Did you plant the seed years ago that grew that orange you’re eating?  No, of course not.  Jessica didn’t either.  Another human did.  We all need each other to fill the holes in our lives that we can’t fill ourselves.  Humans are puzzle pieces in that way, there is no bigger picture or prayer for survival on our own.  And because of this, we can do anything we as a community, as a SPECIES work together to achieve.  There is no knowledge if there’s no one to learn from, there is no money if a society don’t give it value, your money is worthless if those you’re paying decide to rise against you, your role as leader only exists at the consent of those you lead, and your strength won’t save you from a sinking ship.  People are, and always will be, power.       And as someone who is exceptionally strong and exceedingly smart, Jessica has slotted herself in the humanity puzzle thusly: The strong exist to protect the weak, the smart exist to educate, and the lucky exist so the unlucky may be given aid.  And it is with this fairness and compassion that she has won the trust of so many.  She has a great many friends and allies even outside of those in her crew or on her island.  And she can make many more with ease.  That kind of power is not a power to be trifled with, even if she can kick your ass six ways to Saturday without it. 
Three Weaknesses:
     She suffers ADHD.  Now before ANY OF Y’ALL SAY ANYTHING, I myself also suffer ADHD.  And yes I do say suffer because well that’s what it causes for Jessica and I, suffering.  Yes, it is ableist language to say ‘suffering from’ rather than ‘has’ or ‘is diagnosed with’ and yes it perpetuates a stigma against us but god DAMN IT in both Jessica’s case and mine, it make life much much harder than it needs to be.  At the end of the day, Red Jessica is a fantasy of mine; I pour myself into her whether I mean to or not.  She’s the adult I wish I was, the person I might be if I had no anxiety, or brainfog, or lived in a world were I didn’t need a credit score or a degree. And even then, I can’t say I know anyone else’s problems better than my own.  So if my character has problems, by sheer osmosis they are going to reflect some of mine.  Both of the characters I write have ADHD because I have ADHD and I couldn’t even begin to know how a non-ADHD mind works to write it properly.  And no, I’m not being dramatic when I say it causes me suffering.  I can’t drive, I can’t hold down a job, I nearly flunked out of school, I still cant read very fast or spell very well, I am constantly overwhelmed by mundane things, I’m a slow learner, I forget very important things or recent things, I forget about things that mean the world to me, I forget about people, I stumble through tasks, I procrastinate hobbies and basic hygiene, and everything I do takes all goddamn day and I can only really do one important thing at a time and in order of importance.  If I have a date at 4pm, I’m dressed and ready at 11am because I’ve gotta do the important thing first or else I will forget to do the important thing.  I started typing this at a little before 5pm.  It’s 7;30.  It’ll probably be 10 o’clock at night by the time I fucking finish ( edit: l m a o its 1am bitch you thought ).  I’m 26 and am just medicated enough to barely function.  So yeah.  Suffering is the word.       Though for Jessica, perhaps suffering is a tad strong of a word.  Her ADHD affects her ability to function in far less debilitating ways ( though whether that’s a result of a less severe diagnosis than me or the result of the society, situations, and responsibilities she functions in and around are far different from mine, who’s to say ).  For her, she has very consuming hyperfixations that can last anywhere between weeks to decades, a spotty memory that is detail and memento oriented,  she’s scatterbrained more often then not but can focus with amazing clarity on her interests or in high adrenaline situations, is is ABYSMALLY bad at math and EXCRUCIATINGLY bad with numbers ( as opposed to me, who is good at numbers but shit at spelling or reading ), she can forget anything no matter how important it is to her or to anyone, she’s bad with names and dates, is COMPLETELY time-blind, has trouble prioritizing, and of course, wile not actually that materialistic, she absolutely has the ol’ magpie instinct.       While her poor memory assists in her adaptability and ability to move on, it also means she forgets things she needed to remember, like when the last time she bathed was and who this person is and what happened between her and someone else or what conversation’s shes had.  Unfortunately this means she’s a very good friend and leader... while you’re around and interacting with her on at least a weekly basis.  It’s almost a lack of object permanence in both a social and very real sense.  If something is not right in front of her, odds are she’s not going to think about it.  And while its something she constantly kicks herself for and actively tries to be better about, it applies to people too.  Face to face is the best way to interact with her; she won’t think to write you and in her modern verse she won’t think to ever call and she’ll text you back in perhaps a few days.  She doesn’t value you any less, I promise.  She’s just either distracted or overwhelmed.  Also, for someone as understanding as her, she is surprisingly self-centered.  Not selfish, self-centered.  She’ll talk about herself more than she should, and will assume people understand that she’s doing so as a form of showing empathy rather than bragging when they may not know this at all.  Actually she accidentally assumes all the time.  It was far worse when her hearing was functional; she’d finish your sentence for you or guess what it was you were going to say ( again, not to talk over, you but to show she understands you and the conversation, tho it usually came of as annoying or patronizing ).  Sometimes she mistakenly assumes you believe or know the same things she does without even realizing it.  Maybe she perceives the right idea off of someone but isn’t observant enough to notice anything past that.  And while she is willing to change her mind about things, she might change her mind a tad too quickly.  She’s an over-sharer and is horrible at keeping any kind of secret.  Romantic relationships tend to fizzle out. Her impulse control is improving but has a VERY long way to go. She’s always chasing something new.       All and all, when you’re a pirate, a librarian, or even a captain, all of these things may be irritating and inconvenient, but are overall manageable in chunks.  ...But as a governor to her island, as a leader of an entire population... oof. In the position of leadership that she’s in, she can’t afford to make too many massive mistakes, and she knows this.  ‘There is no power quite like the power of being underestimated’ is a phase you’ll hear her say a lot but for her, there is a shift in connotation.  If people expect less and you do more that’s a great upper hand in any situation but for her, it was a safety net.  Having ADHD sometimes means going months or years being fine and then eventually you fuck up and everyone around you wonders how in the world you managed to do that.  She has only barely avoided disaster more times than she’d like to admit.  Even with the resourcefulness, the understanding, and the power she wields, she’s finally starting to realize that she’s bit off more than she might be able to chew, with the entire well-beings and livelihoods of others on the line.  And she fears that one day she’ll play her cards wrong and everything she’d built, everything she’s done, will all come crashing down in ruin.
     She is Hard of Hearing.  This one is literally as simple as it sounds: she has moderate and degenerative hearing loss and tinnitus after years of canons, explosions, gunshots, and a definitive, scale tipping attack in her early 30s.  Her ears just don’t work at all like they used to.  The whole world sounds like it would if everything was underwater: she can’t pin point the location of sounds, how far off or close sounds are, and barely registers changes in volume. And it only gets worse the older she gets; one day she won’t hear anything at all.  And while yes, again, it might be very harsh and ableist to say, the truth of the matter that being deaf a “ weakness ” more often than its a strength.       That said, it very well can be a strength.  I’ve already mentioned that trick with the firecrackers and let me tell you it is a DAMN EFFECTIVE TRICK.  Shes around explosions and canons and guns all the time and now she can focus while being around them five times better than she could in the past!  But unfortunately it also means she’s very easy to sneak up on, she sometimes isn’t aware of danger until it’s nearly too late,  no one can get her attention or warn her across any distance, it’s very easy to escape from her, and it’s easy for her to be just... left out of things.  She might hear you talking, but she has little to no idea what you’re saying without sign or lipreading.  Some people don’t have the patience or even just the courtesy to speak slower, or clearer, or repeat themselves a lot.  Though, those last too thinks aren’t weaknesses of hers so much as they are the weakness of others, but they still negatively affect her self esteem and her effectiveness as a leader.       All of this has taught her to pick her battles carefully, and plan around the elements of surprise and discombobulation.  And while communication was tricky at first, it only got easier, and now she can talk to you almost like anyone can, so long as she’s looking you in the face. 
     That damn bleeding heart.  We have established a number of things that should easily add up to an overly empathetic, trusting, fight-the-good-fight, martyr-some, idealistic pushover;  she believes humanity and kindness are strengths, she has taken on the role of leader and then a provider, she has known suffering and tasked herself with ending the suffering of others to the best of her ability,  she lacks the clarity of mind to assume people aren’t just as good or capable as her automatically, she can have poor impulse control at times,  she wants to have relationships, and ( while I never stated this outright yet it can be inferred  ), she believes that being able to see yourself in others is the foundation of humanity and ( as i did say outright ) humanity is what keeps us unified and unity is what makes us fit and strong.  Keeping up?  Good. Here’s the curve ball: How can she whole hardheartedly preach and believe all of this, to the point of it being the foundation of her character, WHILE BEING A VIOLENT THIEVING AND BLOODTHIRSTY PIRATE?!  HOW, MANGO? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!  Ok, fine, sure, I will. I’m sure about one half of you are looking up from the screen and going “ Oh yeah, wow I totally forgot that bit. “ and the other half got about two and a half paragraphs in before squinting and silently calling bullshit. So let me explain.      In short, she’s a detached hypocrite and is well aware and unashamed of her hypocrisy while far less aware of her detachment. I’ll cover both:  Western culture as a whole seems to be under the impression that hypocrisy, despite context or importance, is automatically bad.  I don’t know where this comes from personally ( my bet is Christianity but I have exactly 0 evidence ) but its a very... flawed idea.  Take the freedom of speech vs racism problem; say you owned a bar where all could speak their mind freely over cold drinks.  Excellent concept without context, right?  Sure. ....Then a die hard racist covered in slurs and symbols walks in and orders- what are you going to do?  The correct answer is to throw him out instantly.  Not let him sit so long as he doesn’t cause trouble, not just ignore him and hope he doesn’t return, you throw him out.  Is it hypocritical?  Yep!  Sure is!  But it is also 100% necessary to protect your other patrons because if you don’t, the racist starts feeling safe and bringing his racist buddies, literally everyone else starts feeling unsafe and starts to hang out elsewhere, and two months later, ta da!  You now own a n*zi bar and there is literally nothing you can do about it. Jessica is in a somewhat similar situation.  You as a pretend bar owner need to make a decision as who to let into your bar and who to throw out for the good of all of your patrons.  Jessica too is faced daily with that decision.  If she want’s to help as many people as possible, the only realistic way she can do that are by protecting those under her leadership... only.  She is surrounded by hateful, angry, sneaky, traitorous, abusive, or otherwise evil people.  Piracy as a profession and poverty in general can do that to a person.  Of course there is a clear difference between those down on their luck and desperate, and the truly cruel and twisted, but unfortunately both types of people yield the same wrongdoings.  It’s absolutely her nature to extend a hand to anyone and everyone but.... she just can’t anymore.  Too many times has her trust been betrayed, too many times has she gotten in peoples business trying to be helpful, only for her to absolutely bite her in the ass.  Too many time the extended hand is bitten and once or twice, she’s actually made things worse.       Now, she will only help someone she loves, someone under her leadership, or someone who seeks her out.  That’s it.  And even then, sometime it manages to bite er in the ass.  But she had to set that hard limit for herself out of necessity, one she does her absolute best to adhere too and... these days she adheres a little too well. That leads us to our next point; what I was alluding to at the beginning of her Understanding essay when I said she has limited but deep running empathy.  That detachment again, courtesy of a very unattached mother and unchecked ADHD. ( It isn’t a strong enough characteristic to even rank as a strength or a weakness but damn if it isn’t an undercurrent to a lot of her motivations and experiences. ) Strangers are fair game that she tries to ignore, but if she even perceives you as a threat, you could be in danger. Like anyone used to violence or perhaps anyone trapped in an us verses them mindset, she can just... flat... turn her empathy off.  Not on command, she’s not a socio or psychopath persay.  But she has become totally numb to the horror of violence via her warrior upbringing that, in her mind, violence can actually be rather fun. Pair that with the fact that she purposely tailored herself to only be empathetic to her allies and boom.  You get a kindhearted killer.  Cops and soldiers in our world do it literally every day.  Actually anyone can do it really, even you if you tried. You don’t have to be evil or even angry to kill or steal or lie... you just have to believe you’re right.
Three Secrets:
     WHAT SECRETS?!  LMAO this bitch is the oversharing queen!! I’ve been typing and pondering her character for literal hours ( its currently 11:16, fuck you adderall ), and I still can not think of a single goddamn secret.  There is nothing about her that at least five random people don’t fucking know about!! The only secrets she has are secrets she knows about other people and even then she is!! literally the worst!! She spills her guts left and right and yet she wants to be a mysterious bitch SO BAD like BABE I love you, you’re precious, but you are a dumbass attention seeking validation chasing adhd CLOWN girl!! Stop telling random people about your hermaphroditism or your dairy allergy or your dead dad or that time you fell asleep in a barrel like that is literally your uber driver Jessica honey come ooooon. I’m skipping this section mom holy fuck.
Three Fears:
     What if she does wrong by everyone who trusts her?  As stated at the end of the ADHD essay, she’s terrified of failing those she leads.  Where it as simple as personal failure, she’d be fine.  Ever if her entire world came crashing down on top of her she’d either die or start back from square one.  Death is a fact of life and her adaptability means she can just dust herself off and move on, so neither her death nor her failures really scare her... But it isn’t just her life and happiness at stake, is it? Not anymore, right?  What started as a leader of a small gang of rebels became a full crew, then a crew became a slew of allies, then those allies built a town and now... now she’s the governor of the Crimson Isle and there are nearly twenty five HUNDRED lives at her mercy.   HER mercy.  One really, really bad mistake could ruin their livelihoods or spark disorder and disloyalty.  And if she died?  Would whoever it is that will take her place be as good to them as she is?  Is she good enough to begin with in the first place? Every day the paperwork gets a little bit thicker, every year there’s a new baby or two.  And the isle has fertile soil sure but will it last?  Are they prepared for a raid or a hurricane?  And if Jessica trusts the wrong people, where her people right to trust her?  ...can I protect them? Can I protect them?! CAN I PROTECT THEM?!
     Who am I if I’m not interesting?  This is, literally, an entirely subconscious fear.  She’s not at all aware it exists and therefor this entry is short. But between her short time with her very unimpressed mother, her own ADHD, she is constantly hungry for attention without even realizing it.  She must be interesting and intriguing and engaging, and I did mention she wants to also be mysterious.  She wants not so much your input or even your validation - but rather if shes not perceived then.... is she really there? Remember, she is unaware of any of this.  And fortunately she’d never been starved for attention to act out over it in the first place, even when her disinterested mother was alive. Look at her; she’s radiant, she’s beautiful, and she’s 6′4 / 195 cm shredded and covered in cool scars. Without even opening her mouth, without even her colorful clothes, she’s kind of automatically interesting.  So she’s never been so desperate for attention that she acts out because she’s never been without it for very long.  But it’s there. Hungry, aching, silent.  Those years after the M branding were horrible and she could never really explain why.  She still throws parties, organizes festivals, and talks to damn near anyone who will listen.  Look at my art!  Look at my library! Listen to how much I know! Let me tell you how lovely you are! Look at my scares! Look at my hair! Look at me haha, please, please look at me. 
     GHOSTS. NOPE. No. NO. Fuck ALL of that noise. Stay dead, go to hell, eat a dick.  Red Jessica is a scientist and superstitious atheist. As an academic and somewhat bi-cultural woman she simply thinks there are far too many religions with far too much history for any of them to be considered The One True Thing You Must Believe Or ElseTM and she tends to not truly believe anything until she finds some kind of proof.  Shes not afraid of the unknown, shes thrilled by it. She’s not afraid of death or the afterlife, that’s beyond her control. She’s only superstitious because she does believe in and value luck, and also its a bit of a cultural habit. BUT IF SOME SHIT STARTS MOVING ON ITS OWN OR IF SHE SEES SOME BULLSHIT IN THE CORNER OF HER EYE THEN SHE IS OUT OF THERE. OUTIE 5000. She has heard the tales of lost souls from purgatory or the eternally ravenous Pret or dangerous Phi Tai Hong or the tragic and startling Banshees or the creepy Santa Compana and she wouldn’t believe a word of it where it not for one thing.      SHE FUCKING SAW ONE. She’ll never forget it, it was the first and last time she EVER attempted to plunder a tomb all Skyrim style and at first she thought it was one of the crewmean being creepy as shit until she got a good look and he was SEE THROUGH AS SHIT AND SKINNY AS FCUK AND SHE GOT LITERALLY CHASED THE FUCK OUT OF THAT JOINT. She does not CARE that some ghosts are just apparitions she does not CARE that some are friendly and trying to warn her of something if you are MOVING and DEAD at the SAME time get FUCKED. If any of y’all cringe try-hards bring a Ouija board to the party you are getting SENT HOME and BLOCKED. NO CAP.
Three Goals:
   She really only has one left. Listen its... almost 1am and ive been typing since like 5pm i think i covered goals somewhere in here but ive gotta throw in the towel but even then I’m kinda being serious.  Her only remaining goal is to find a suitable heir of some kind.  She wants what she’s built to fall into worthey hands but she could never seem to find a good parter and even when she did she couldn’t sustain a pregnancy ( you’d think that would be a huge deal but it hardly mattered to her oddly ).  So at 50 the option of having kids is out but there’s still plenty of hope for either adoption or a protege.  But then again, she’s so busy these days that she hardly prioritizes it like she wants to.  
                                                                               holy shit i need some water...
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mythgirlimagines · 3 years
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Time for a brand new talentswap for this fine Tuesday! Give a warm wink and a smile to Myth, the Former Ultimate Animator!
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BACKSTORY AND TALENT
As a youngster, Myth‘s imagination and energy was all over the place. A combination of regular consumption of books, movies, and TV, and living in a rather creative household herself, made this Myth want to bring her odd creations into the human world. Ever since she entered her first ever short animation into a prestigious film festival for preteens, she has been on a roll ever since, with romantic and fantasy anime being her main bread and butter. Her most well-known work yet is “Up in Smoke”, a Romeo and Juliet-esque animated film chronicling the romantic escapades of a two female elemental spirits, a water and fire spirit, and the rebellion against their strict family. It earned raving reviews from critics for its adorable artstyle, its loveable characters, and its heartwarming portrayal of LGBT dynamics. In fact, most of her works have at least one LGBT character, or at least have some form of LGBT subtext. She may not have a lot of human friends apart from Wyre, but she has the support of both her friends and her massive fanbase. Even as a adult, she still has it going in the animation department. 
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RELATIONSHIPS
Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Animal Breeder
Due to her wild and rowdy appearance and personality, Wyre never really had many human friends, but they compensate for this with a whole arkload of animal friends, with lizards, snakes and other reptiles being her main speciality. Myth and Wyre met as children, and quickly bonded with each other over their eccentric behaviour and lack of human friends. In fact, Wyre was the one who gave Myth the eared hat and tail that Myth regularly wears. Wyre regularly brings in live animals as a drawing reference, so Myth would learn how to properly animate animal movement. 
Outfit: Same outfit as the original, but with a cat design on the skirt, a brown fox ear headband, and a matching brown prop tail. 
Anon Scar, Ultimate Princess
As the princess of a small European country called Zunduros, Scar is the current heiress to the Zundorian throne. Myth was surprised to learn that her animated shows have quite the following in Scar’s kingdom. Despite constantly carrying herself as the “Heiress of the Untouched Shadow”, the facade quickly breaks away to reveal a heavily-concerned and somewhat maternal girl, once she realises that this entertainment giant doesn’t exactly have the healthiest living habits. Nowadays, Scar is always on standby, making sure that Myth gets her daily food and rest. 
Outfit: A black Gothic Lolita-style dress, with white lace and red bows on the front, dark red stockings, red heels, red gloves, a red rose holding up her side bun.
Fusion Anon, Ultimate Musician
As the lead singer of the soft rock band, “QUIZ BOWL”, Fusion’s songs mainly center around family and parental love. Fusion’s personality matches the subject matter of his songs, being paternal and kind-hearted, despite what his height and wild fashion would suggest. Imagine Myth’s shock when this 6’3 tall boy with a large afro dyed various colors and a leather jacket claimed to be a massive fan of her adorable animated films. Ever since Myth found out and gave him an autographed art book, Fusion has been in special interest heaven. Nowadays, Fusion helps compose music for Myth’s animated films. 
Outfit: A large afro dyed various colors, a black leather jacket with an autistic pride badge on the front over a red t-shirt, black leather gloves, ripped black pants, black boots, a guitar case strapped to his back, color contacts. 
Fusion Anon II, Ultimate Photographer
As the girl behind the famous photography blog ,“bustasnap”, Fusion II has traveled all over the world to take pictures of all the scenic landscapes she can find. Upon looking at Fusion II’s photos, Myth knew that she had to use them for background references. This has led to the mysterious disappearance of many of Fusion II’s printed Polaroids. Upon finding out that Myth was the one behind the theft of her pictures, Fusion II chose to print the pictures and hand the copies to Myth. From there, Myth learned that Fusion II is a kind girl underneath her sarcastic and flippant demeanour.
Outfit: Same outfit as her original design, but with her prized Polaroid strapped to her right side. 
Just Anon, Ultimate Gamer
Dominating popular MMORPG after popular MMORPG under the name, “anon.”, Janon spends all of his time laying down and not moving from his territory. Despite Janon’s adorable appearance and fashion sense, Janon is foul-mouthed, cynical, and hates just about everybody in this goddamn con. Well, almost everybody. He has a massive soft spot for the two Jr. Ultimates of the convention. Janon and Myth like to organize little slumber parties and nap underneath a large pile of blankets, pillows and stuffed toys, where certain bothersome Anons wouldn’t bother them.  
Outfit: A Pikachu hoodie, black headphones with the Overwatch logo on each ear, formal wear and face-mask from original design.
Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Traditional Dancer
Coming from a long and prestigious line of traditional dancers, Sparkle’s dancing is truly a spectacle to witness on stage. Spicing up her dance moves with glitter and sakura petals, Sparkle’s moves look like they’re straight from a high-budget fantasy movie. Topping off her stellar appearance is a loud and bombastic attitude that truly shines on stage. Just like with Fusion, Sparkle is also a major fan of Myth’s works, particularly her magical girl series. Myth regularly watches Sparkle perform in order to help with animating dancing and the movement of her characters. 
Outfit: An orange kimono with pink flower designs all over it, a purple obi, white socks, brown gets sandals, a sidetail decorated with flowers, glasses from original design. 
Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Lucky Student, and Wet Sock, Former Ultimate Yakuza
Originally the twin children to one of the biggest underground yakuza chains in the world, Egg has since been cast out of the bloodline for their unpredictable luck cycle managed to nearly doom their entire bloodline, and it’s only through Wet Sock‘s control that the entire bloodline didn’t go kaput. Upon hearing about Egg and Wet Sock’s backstory, Myth thought that this would make a good premise for a film. Needless to say, despite their cursed and violent concepts, Myth managed to look past them, to find deeply disturbed individuals that just need a hug. 
Egg’s Outfit: A bandaged left eye, a half-shaved haircut, the same same clothes from their original design, but with a clover design replacing the bird designs. 
Wet Sock’s Outfit: An eyepatch on their right eye, a half-shaved haircut, a black suit just like Fuyuhiko’s.
Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Nurse
As the adopted child of a hospital worker, Curious ended up learning everything that they can about the medical field and the human body. Curious has became famous and beloved at the hospital for their kind-hearted and levelheaded personality, as well as their excellent bedside vigil. Because of Myth’s constant neglect of food and sleep, Curious is constantly on standby to make sure that Myth gets the proper amount of nutrition needed to function as a proper human being. Myth may not need Curious constantly hovering over her, but she appreciates Curi’s concern for her. 
Outfit: Part of their hair tied into a small ponytail, a mint green face mask, same outfit from original design, but with a white apron with a red cross design on the front, and mint green scrubs.
Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Mechanic
Famous for his uncontrollable temper and strength, as well as his equal caliber intelligence, Anon Nerd is known for making functional machines out of literal garbage. Unfortunately, Nerd’s entire attitude doesn’t exactly make him a massive hit with other people at his mechanics store. Despite Nerd’s own workaholic tendencies, Myth just makes Nerd so angry with her blatant disregard for her own health. Nerd regularly tries to get this adorable animator to get her eyes off her drawing tablet and just go to sleep, even if it means knocking her out with a wrench. 
Outfit: Ruffled-up hair, grease stains all over his body, a black and yellow jumpsuit, black and yellow boots and gloves, scouter from original design. 
Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Team Manager
Despite Eldritch‘s jittery and paranoid behavior in public, Eldritch is unbelievably confident when it comes to leading a group. Eldritch is the number one trainer in “Fort Ritchie‘s Boot Camp”, a training center that trains children to take on the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Ignoring the whole “apocalypse” pretense, Eldritch is really good at motivating individuals to take action. Upon witnessing Myth’s poor health, Eldritch has taken it upon himself to prevent Myth from becoming zombie bait, but Myth really doesn’t want to exercise, and seems content with being zombie chow. 
Dream Anon, Ultimate Chef
As the daughter of a professional TV chef, Dream can cook healthy meals to feed all her teammates on her volleyball team. Dream is famous for being just a big bundle of joy and sunshine, as well as her energetic and overzealous attitude when it comes to cooking. Dream has taken upon herself to cook Myth only the best of meals, in order to make Myth actually drop her work to go eat with all the others. Don’t get Dream wrong, she does enjoy a lot of Myth’s works, particularly her shonen works. But would it kill Myth to eat something with actual nutritional value?
Outfit: A white chef uniform, a pink bandana tied over her head, a pink ascot, shoes from original design. 
Iris Anon, Reserve Course Student
When you first meet up with Iris, the first thing you would notice about her is her insane clumsiness and her almost stupidly optimistic viewpoint. Despite first impressions, Iris actually managed to get into Hope’s Peak Middle School’s reserve course on academic prowess alone, which makes her a veritable genius. Despite not even having an actual talent, Iris doesn’t let that, or the horrible quality of the Reserve Course get her down. Iris watched a bunch of Myth’s anime with her girlfriend, and she is currently overjoyed to be spending the con visit with the girl behind all those masterpieces. 
Outfit: A white dress shirt, a red bowtie, a dark blue skirt, white knee-length socks, black slip-on shoes, bandages on her arms and legs, glasses, star clip, and braids from original design.
Purple Anon, Ultimate Swordswoman
As the daughter of an ancient lineage of sword fighters, Purple has been taught the art of the blade by her elders, and yet she manages to surpass them all in blade-to-blade combat. Purple is hardly ever seen without her trusty claymore strapped to her back. Despite what her talent would suggest, Purple is very timid and cowardly, thanks to her sheltered upbringing. Because of her sheltered and old-fashioned upbringing, Purple also speaks in very antiquated vocabulary that is hard to understand. Myth may not understand a word that Purple is saying, but Purple would make a great fantasy protagonist. 
Outfit: A black headband, gakuran top, a long purple skirt, lilac stockings, black slip-on shoes, a purple scabbard on her back that holds her claymore.
This series centers around this adorable animator who is unhealthily attached to her work, as the people around her show massive concern for both her and her health. 
——————————————————-
PERSONALITY
Ever since she was a child, Animator!Myth has always been into the arts and a very creative soul. Her imagination is all over the place, which helps her with her works. Aside from that, Animator!Myth is also kind-hearted and happy to lend a helping hand to people who needs it. Unfortunately, Animator!Myth has a little bit gaping flaw in her personality: she is a MASSIVE workaholic. Not wanting to let down her loyal fanbase, Animator!Myth works day and night on her animated works, much to the understandable concern of her family and friends. This unfortunately means she goes for days on end without stopping for a snack or nap break, making this already childish and loopy girl somehow even more childish and loopy. Her friends are trying their best to teach Myth that overexerting yourself is no good, and taking constant breaks is the key to success. 
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APPEARANCE
Animator!Myth is bespectacled and slightly chubby. Myth‘s undyed hair goes down to her shoulders. As for her clothes, on her head, Myth wears a fuzzy blue hat with ears, an ahoge, and brown stripes. Myth wears an oversized blue jacket with yellow details, that holds an animator’s tablet in one of the pockets, over a pink shirt. She also wears a red skirt, black stockings, and yellow rainboots with a paw print design on the bottom. Clipped to the bottom of her skirt is a tail that matches the hat she wears.  ——————————————————-
Well, now that I have finished this week’s talentswap, let me know what you think! In the meantime, have fun and be merry!
-Fusion Anon
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It would be so awesome to be an animator! I love this talentswap!
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lucyreviewcy · 3 years
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The Three Three Musketeers (or Where The F*ck Did All The Stupid Hats Go)
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I read The Three Musketeers and then I watched the 1973, 1993 and 2011 adaptations. Which one wins tho?
Adaptation is a fascinating concept, especially of texts which are frequently adapted or parodied. After I rewatched the 2005 Pride and Prejudice I was reminded how weirdly divisive the two dominant adaptations of that book are. A lot of people consider the 2005 to be an inferior betrayal of the 1990s BBC version. I actually prefer the 2005 because I think Matthew McFadyen’s Mr Darcy is a wonderfully complex character. McFadyen imbues Darcy with social awkwardness and anxiety, which Lizzie misinterprets as his pride. To overcome the “Lizzie doesn’t fancy him ‘til she sees his house” debate, director Joe Wright includes a moment where Lizzie glimpses Darcy alone with his sister. He’s comfortable, his body language is completely different, and he’s smiling broadly. That moment really sold me on the entire film because it made Darcy a full character and was a really simple addition that rounded out the story. I still like the 90s version but for me, it’s the 2005 that takes first place.  (Although an honourable mention for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because it is an excellent romp.)
Look: adaptation is always a complicated topic. You can’t untangle one adaptation from another, because it’s pretty rare that somebody adapting a classic text like Pride and Prejudice or The Three Musketeers is not already familiar with existing adaptations. The most recent adaptation of any classic text is not simply an adaptation of that text, but the next step in a flow chart that includes all the previous adaptations and the cultural context of the newly created product. These three adaptations of Dumas’ 1844 novel are all texturally and stylistically very different, and two of them diverge significantly from the original text. What I found truly fascinating was what all of them had in common, and what each new era (these were made at around 20 year intervals) decides to add or remove. What do all these movies agree are the essential parts of the story, and what are some adaptations more squeamish about including from Dumas’ original narrative?
Before we dive in, no I have not seen every single adaptation of the story, that would be a dissertation level of research and I do actually have things to do right now (although, I will admit...not many.) I’m looking at these three Hollywood adaptations because they all had star studded casts (for the era they were made in), they’re all English language, and (crucially) they were all easily available on the internet for me to stream.
What are the essential ingredients of a Three Musketeers adaptation?
Firstly, there should be at least three musketeers. Secondly, D’Artagnan (Michael York 1973, Chris O’Donnell 1993, Logan Lerman 2011) should be a young upstart who is introduced part way through a sword fight. He should also have silly hair. He is also consistently introduced to the musketeers in all three films by challenging them each individually to duels at noon, one o’clock and two o’clock. 
The films all maintained some elements of the original “Queen’s Diamonds” storyline, and featured the Queen, Milady and Constance. The characterisation of these three varied a lot.
Our villains in each case are invariably the Cardinal, his pal Rochefort (who always has an eyepatch, although this trope is not in the book and is actually attributable to the way Christopher Lee is styled in the 1973 film), and Milady de Winter. Satisfyingly, at least two of the villains usually wear red because they’re bad. Red is for bad. 
All three are very swashbuckling in tone, have elements of physical comedy, and two of them include one of the three valet characters Dumas wrote into the original story, Planchet (1973 Roy Kinnear, 2011 James “ugh why” Corden). They also all bear the generic markings of the movies made during the same era, our 70s D’Artagnan feels like a prototype Luke Skywalker. The 90s version features a random martial arts performer. The 2011 version has CGI and James Corden in equal measure (read: far too much of both.)
What are the big differences?
I’m going to divide this category into three main segments: character, story and style. My own three musketeers, the three musketeers of movie making.
Character
D’Artagnan
D’artagnan in the book comes across as a pretty comical figure. He’s nineteen and there’s something satisfying about how similar Dumas’ caricature of a nineteen year old is to a modern character of the same age. He’s overconfident, has a simplistic but concrete set of morals, and falls in love with every woman he sees. If D’Artagnan were a 2021 character, he’d really hate The Last Jedi, is what I’m saying. He’d definitely have a tumblr blog, probably a lot like this one, but perhaps a scooch more earnest. He really loved The Lighthouse but he can’t explain why. Isn’t it nice to know that awkward nineteen year olds have been pretty much the same for the last three hundred years at least? 
In all three films he’s kind of irritating, but at least in the 1973 this feels deliberate. This version has a certain “Carry On Musketeering” quality to it and D’Artagnan is your pantomime principal, he’s extremely naïve and he takes himself very seriously. This is the closest D’Artagnan to the book, and the 1973 is, in general, the film which adheres most faithfully to that source material. 
The 1993, which is (spoiler alert) my least favourite adaptation, has Chris O’Donnell as the least likeable D’Artagnan I’ve come across. I’ve only seen O’Donnell in one other thing, the Al Pacino movie Scent of a Woman. He’s bearable in that because he’s opposite Al Pacino, and so his wide-eyed innocence makes sense as a contrast to Pacino’s aged hoo-ah cynicism. Rather than being introduced in a practice sword fight with his father, as in the other two films, D’Artagnan is fighting the brother of an ex-lover. This captures the problem with the film in general: this adaptation wants D’Artagnan to be cool. He is not. The comedy of the 1973, and indeed the book, comes from D’Artagnan being deeply uncool, and from his blind idolisation of the deeply flawed Musketeers who actually are cool, but not necessarily heroic, or even good people. Their moral greyness contrasts with D’Artagnan’s defined sense of right and wrong, but he still considers them to be role models and heroes. 
2011′s version also suffers from “Cool D’Artagnan” syndrome, with the added annoyance of that most Marvel of tropes: the quip. One of the real issues with this film is that the dialogue has a lot of forced quippery that doesn’t quite land, and the editing slows the pace of the entire film. D’Artagnan’s first interaction with Constance is a bad attempt at wit which Constance points out isn’t very funny. The problem is that Constance has no personality so there’s no real indication that she’s in any position to judge his level of wit. She’s just vague, blonde and there: three characteristics which describe an entire pantheon of badly written female characters throughout the ages. Cool D’Artagnan also means that Constance should be additionally cool, because in the book, Constance is older than, smarter than and over-all more in charge than D’Artagnan. 
Female Characters
Let’s go into this with an open mind that understands all these films were made in the sociological context of their decade. The 1973 version would absolutely not be made in the same way now. Constance is a clumsy cartoon character who is forever falling over and accidentally sticking her breasts out. This is not the character from the books, but does at least leave an impression on the viewer one way or another. 
In contrast, the 1993 has a Constance so forgettable I literally cannot picture her. I think she holds D’Artagnan’s hand at the end. That’s all I can say on the subject. 
The 2011 has Gabriella Wilde in the role, and absolutely wastes her. Anyone who’s seen her in  Poldark knows that she can do sharp-tongued beautiful wit-princess with ease. It’s the writing of this film that lets her down, in general, that’s the problem with it. The storyline and design are great, but the actual dialogue lacks the pace and bite that a quip-ridden star vehicle needs. This Constance is given simultaneously more and less to do than the Constance of the original book, who demonstrates at every turn the superiority of her intellect over D’Artagnan, but doesn’t get to pretend to be a Musketeer and whip her hat off to show her flowing golden hair like she does in the 2011. 
The best character, for my money, in The Three Musketeers is Milady de Winter. Even Dumas got so obsessed with her that there are full chapters of the book written from pretty much her perspective. In the book, she’s described as a terrifying genius with powers of persuasion so potent that any jailor she speaks to must be instantly replaced. My favourite Milady is absolutely Faye Dunaway from 1973. She’s ferocious and beautiful and ruthless, but potentially looks even better because the portrayals in the other films are so very bad. 
The 1993 version has your typical blonde 90s baddie woman (Rebecca De Mornay), she wouldn’t look out of place as a scary girlfriend in an episode of Friends or Frasier. 2011 boasts Milla Jovovich who presents us a much more physical version of the character, even doing an awkwardly shoe-horned anachronistic hall of lasers a la Entrapment except instead of lasers its really thin pieces of glass? The “yeah but it looks cool” attitude to anachronism in this film is what makes it fun, and Jovovich’s Milady isn’t awful, she’s just let down by a plot point that she shares with 1993 Milady. Both these adaptations get really hooked on the fact that Athos used to be married to Milady at one time (conveniently leaving out the less justifiable character point that Athos TRIED TO HANG HER when he found out she had been branded as a thief - doesn’t wash so well with the modern audiences, I think.) Rather than hating/fearing Milady, the two modern adaptations suggest that Athos is still in love with her and pines for her. This detracts from Athos’ character just as much as it detracts from Milady’s. Interestingly, and I don’t know where this came from (if it was in the book I definitely missed it), both films feature a confrontation between the two where Athos points a gun at Milady but she pre-empts him by throwing herself off a cliff (or in the 2011, an air-ship.) I think both these versions were concerned that Milady was an anti-feminist character because she’s so wantonly evil, but I disagree. Equality means it is absolutely possible for Milady to be thoroughly evil and hated by the musketeers just as much as they hate Rochefort and the Cardinal. If you want to sort out the gender issues with this story, round Constance out and give her proper dialogue, don’t make Milady go weak at the knees because of whiny Athos (both Athos characters are exceedingly whiny, 1973 Athos is just...mashed).
The Musketeers
These guys are pretty important to get right in a film called The Three Musketeers. They have to be flawed, funny but kind of cool. Richard Chamberlain is an absolute dish in the 1973 version, capturing all those qualities in one. Is it clear which version is my favourite yet?
Athos is played variously by a totally hammered Oliver Reed (1973), a ginger-bearded Kiefer Sutherland (1993) and a badly bewigged Matthew McFadyen (2011). They all have in common the role of being the most level-headed character, but the focus on the relationship between Athos and Milady in the 93 and 11 editions undermines this a lot. Athos should be cool and aloof, instead of mooning over Milady the entire time. The 2011 gives Athos some painfully “edgy” lines like “I believe in this (points at wine) this (flicks coin) and this (stabs coin with knife.)...” which McFadyen ( once oh so perfect as Mr Darcy) doesn’t quite pull off. 
Porthos seems to be the musketeer who is the most different between interpretations. A foppish dandy in the 1973, a pirate (!?!) in the 1993, and then just...large in 2011. I think the mistake made in the 2011 is that large alone does not a personality make. There are hints at Porthos’ characterisation from the book: his dependence on rich women for money and his love of fine clothing, but these are only included as part of his introduction and never crop up again through the rest of the film. Pirate Porthos in 1993 is... you know what, fine, you guys were clearly throwing everything at the wall and seeing what stuck. 
Aramis is our dishy Richard Chamberlain in 1973, followed by womanising Charlie Sheen in 1993 and then strikingly suave Luke Evans in 2011. I actually didn’t mind Luke Evans’ interpretation, his dialogue is forgettable but his sleek charm stuck in my head. For some reason, this version has Aramis working as a parking attendant for horses, it worked for me as a fun A Knight’s Tale-esque bit of anachronistic character development. Charlie Sheen has never managed to appear likable or attractive to me and so his role in the 1993 falls flat. In fact, in that edition there’s not much distinction between the musketeers as characters and they’re all just very 90s and American. As anyone who’s read this blog before will expect, I think Keanu Reeves as Aramis would have really upped this film’s game. In fact, Keanu Reeves as Aramis, Brad Pitt as Athos and Will Smith as Porthos could have been the ultimate 90s adaptation, throw in DiCaprio as D’Artagnan and Roger Allam as the Cardinal and I’m fully sold. 
The King and Queen
All three films try and do the “Queen’s Diamonds” storyline, but only the 1973 actually includes the Queen’s affair with Buckingham. The queen, played by Geraldine Chaplin, is a tragic romantic figure (she doesn’t have a tonne to do besides being wistful and sighing over Lord Buckingham). The king is played as a frivolous idiot by Jean-Pierre Cassel (voice dubbed by Richard Briers). He doesn’t really think of the queen as a person, more as a possession that he doesn’t want Buckingham to have. 
In the 1993 version, Buckingham doesn’t really feature, and it’s the queen’s refusal to get off with the Cardinal that prompts his fury at her. The book does touch on the Cardinal’s desire for the queen, but it’s placed front and centre in 1993. This is definitely the boobsiest version, with quite a lot of corsetry on show and a cardinal who hits on literally all the women. The king is shown as a stroppy teenage boy under the thumb of the cardinal, who just wants to ask the queen to the dance but doesn’t have the nerve. The king is, essentially, a Fall Out Boy lyric. 
The 2011 also seems to be really squeamish about the idea of the queen having an extramarital affair. It paints Buckingham (played with excellent wig and aplomb by Orlando Bloom) as a stylish villain, who’s advances the queen has rejected. Like the 1993 version, the King is a feckless youth rendered speechless by the presence of his wife. Both these versions want the King and Queen to be happy together, while the 1973 doesn’t give a fuck. 
The Cardinal and his Cronies
The cardinal is kind of universally an evil creepy guy. One of the characters from the 1973 version who actually left the least impression on me, played by Charlton Heston. I think he’s overshadowed in my recollection by cartoonishly evil Christopher Lee as Rochefort. Lee’s Rochefort is dark, mysterious and wonderfully bad, and so influential that all other incarnations’ design is based on him. The 1993 version had truly over the top Michael Wincott as a character I could honestly refer to as Darth Rochefort from the way he’s framed, while 2011 boasts a chronically underused Mads Mikkelsen in the role. 
Cardinal-wise, 1993 was my favourite with Tim Curry in all his ecclesiastical splendour. It was disappointing that everything about this film, including the Cardinal’s sexual harassment of every single female character, really didn’t work for me. Tim Curry is a natural choice for this role and gives it his campy all. 
2011 has not one but two trendy bond villain actors, with Mikkelsen working alongside Christoph Waltz who was...just kind of fine. I was really excited when he appeared but he didn’t really push the character far enough and left me cold. 
Story
The story is where the different adaptations diverge most completely. 1973 follows the plot of the novel, D’Artagnan comes to Paris, befriends the Musketeers and becomes embroiled in a plot by the Cardinal to expose the Queen’s affair with Buckingham through the theft of two diamond studs. D’Artagnan, aided partially by the musketeers, must travel to London to retrieve the set of twelve studs gifted by the King to the Queen, and by the Queen to Buckingham. He does so, the plot is foiled, he’s made into a musketeer! Hurrah, tankards all round.
The 1993 version drops D’Artagnan into the story just as the Cardinal has disbanded the Musketeers. I found the plot of this one really hard to follow and I think at some point D’Artagnan ended up in the Bastille? There was this whole plot point about how Rochefort had killed D’Artagnan’s father. In the original, and in the 1973 version, D’Artagnan’s entire beef with Rochefort is rooted in a joke Rochefort makes about D’Artagnan’s horse. I guess for the producers of this one, a horse insult is not enough motivation for a lifelong grudge. That is really the problem with the entire film, it forgets that the story as told by Dumas is set in a world where men duel over such petty things as “criticising one’s horse”, “blocking one’s journey down a staircase” and “accusing one of having dropped a lady’s handkerchief.” The colour palette and styling are very 90s “fun fun fun”, but the portrayal of the cardinal and the endless angst about D’Artagnan’s father really dampen the mood. 
The 2011 version, this is where the shit really hits the fan. We meet our musketeers as they collaborate with Milady to steal the blueprints for a flying ship (it’s like a piratecore zeppelin). Milady betrays them and gives the plans to Buckingham, they all become jaded and unemployed. D’Artagnan arrives on the scene (his American accent explained by the fact that he’s from a different part of France) and befriends the Musketeers. The cardinal tries to frame the queen for infidelity by having Milady steal her diamonds to hide them in Buckingham’s safe at the tower of London. Something something Constance, something something help me D’Artagnan you’re my only hope. MASSIVE AIRSHIP BATTLE. The king and queen have a dance. James Corden cracks wise. 
It seems like as time has passed, producers, writers and directors have felt compelled to embellish the story. I think, specifically in the case of the two later versions, this is because they wanted the films to resemble the big successes of the period. Everybody knows no Disney hero can be in possession of both parents, so D’Artagnan is out to avenge his father like Simba or Luke Skywalker. In the 2011 version, the plot is overblown and overcomplicated in what seems like an attempt to replicate the success of both the Sherlock Holmes and Pirates of the Caribbean franchises. Remember the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End? No, me neither. 
Style
The style of these films grows increasingly wild along with the plots as time passes. The 1973 features a lot of slapstick comedy, some of which really made me cackle, and some of which was cringeworthily sexist (Constance’s boobs through the window of a litter.) That’s the 70s though! I love The Godfather but Diane Keaton’s character is unbelivably dull and annoying. Star Wars features a pretty good female character but she does end up in that bikini. The 70s seems to be a time of movies that were great except for their occasional headlong dive into misogyny. That doesn’t mean the entire movie is bad, it just means it’s suffering from the consequences of being made in the 70s. There were other consequences of this, I doubt many modern productions could get away with physically injuring so many of it’s cast members. From a glance down the IMDB trivia page, this film yielded a higher casualties to cast ratio than the My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words music video, and that’s a hard figure to top. 
The 1993 version is a Disney feature and suffers from having a thin sheen (not Charlie in this instance) of “Disney Original Movie” pasted over every scene. It looks like The Parent Trap might be filming in the adjacent studio a lot of the time. The vibrancy of the colours makes the costumes look unrealistic, while the blandness of the female characters means this movie ends up a bit of a bland bro-fest. Also occasionally the sexual and violent moments really jar with the overall tone making it an uneven watch. One minute it’s Charlie Sheen cracking jokes about trying to get off with someone’s wife, the next minute you see Milady throw herself off a cliff and land on the rocks. Weird choices all round. 
The 2011 version, as I’ve already mentioned, was trying to borrow its style from the success of Sherlock Holmes and Pirates of the Caribbean, with a little Ocean’s 11 thrown in. The soundtrack flips between not quite a Hans Zimmer score and not quite that other Hans Zimmer score, and after the success of Stardust it ends with a Take That song (for it to match up to the story it should have been Take That feat. Harry styles imho). Visually, there’s some fantastic travel by mapping going on, there’s far too much CGI (one of my friends pointed out that the canal in Venice seemed to be full of Flubber). Everyone is dressed in black leather, and there are not enough big hats at all. One of the best things about Musketeers films is that they’re an excuse for ridiculous hats, and in a film with a quite frankly insane visual style, I’m surprised the hats didn’t make it through. The cast, unfortunately, really lack chemistry which means the humorous dialogue is either stilted or James Corden, and the editing is just very strange. It’s one of those films that feels about as disjointed as an early morning dream, the one where you dream you’ve woken up, gotten dressed and fed the cat, but you actually are still in bed. 
Conclusion
Adaptations focus on different things depending on the context they were created in. The 2005 Pride and Prejudice is deliberately “grittier” than its 1990s predecessor, at a stage when “grit” was everywhere (The Bourne Identity, Spooks, Constantine). The Musketeers adaptations demonstrate exactly the same thing: what people wanted in the 70s was bawdy comedy and slapstick with a likeable idiot hero, the 90s clearly called for... Charlie Sheen and bright colours, and the 2010s just want too much of everything and a soundtrack with lots of banging and crashing. The more modern adaptations simplified the female characters (although the 1973 version definitely is guilty of oversimplifying Constance) while over-complicating the plot. There’s a lot of embellishment going on in the 2011 version that suggests the film wasn’t very sure of itself, it pulls its plot punches while simultaneously blindly flailing its stylistic fists. 
The film that works the best for me will always be the 1973 because it’s pretty straight down the line. Musketeers are good, Milady is evil, falling over is funny and the King’s an idiot. The later adaptations seem to be trying to fix problems with the story that the 1973 version just lets fly. The overcorrection of Milady and the under characterisation of Constance is the perfect example of this. If you want your Musketeers adaptation to be more feminist, don’t weaken Milady, strengthen Constance. Sometimes a competent female character is all that we need. A Constance who is like Florence Cassel from Death in Paradise or  Ahn Young-yi from Misaeng could really pack a punch.
I adored the energy of the 2011 adaptation, I loved how madcap it was, I loved how it threw historical accuracy to the wind. I thought the king was adorable, and I really enjoyed seeing Orlando Bloom hamming it up as Buckingham. I was genuinely sad that the sequel the ending sets up for never came, because once they got out of the sticky dialogue and into the explosions, the film was great fun. It was a beautiful disaster that never quite came together, but I really enjoyed watching it. I love films that have a sense of wild chaos, some more successful examples are The Devil’s Advocate, Blow Dry and Lego Batman. I think the spirit of going all out on everything can sometimes result in the best cinematic experience, it’s just a shame the script wasn’t really up to muster for 2011 Musketeers. 
I’m excited to see what the next big budget Musketeers adaptation brings, even if I’m going to have to wait another ten years to see it. I hope it’s directed by Chad Stahelski, that’d really float my boat (through the sky, like a zeppelin.)
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commodorecliche · 4 years
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I don't know... the casting is straight up perfection and the cinematography is of course flawless -its Villeneuve after all- but the costume design? it doesn't feel as futuristic or distinct as it should. Kinda uninspired, kinda generic, kinda Star Wars-y. We can hate on the og movie all we want but at least they managed to make it come across how far into the future it is and how different from us, how foreign and strange their culture should feel to us- all through the costumes.
i mean… frankly, i’m sorry to say this, but i completely disagree with ya there. the costuming for this is pretty…. on point with how it’s described in the book?
the stillsuits are also almost identical to original concepts for the book and the costumes in the 1984 flick:
dune 2020 stillsuit:
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dune 1984 stillsuit:
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some old dune concept art:
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dune book description of the stillsuit design:
“It’s basically a micro-sandwich — a high-efficiency filter and heat-exchange system. The skin-contact layer’s porous. Perspiration passes through it, having cooled the body … near-normal evaporation process. The next two layers … include heat exchange filaments and salt precipitators. Salt’s reclaimed. Motions of the body, especially breathing and some osmotic action provide the pumping force. Reclaimed water circulates to catchpockets from which you draw it through this tube in the clip at your neck… Urine and feces are processed in the thigh pads. In the open desert, you wear this filter across your face, this tube in the nostrils with these plugs to ensure a tight fit. Breathe in through the mouth filter, out through the nose tube. With a Fremen suit in good working order, you won’t lose more than a thimbleful of moisture a day…”
so basically: layered, with catch pockets on it (the slightly bulged areas in both film designs), tubes in the nostrils that are connected to the suit’s water catch pockets, an optional face mask filter for open desert travel, and sealed up to the neck and wrists, with optional gloves. (there is also a cloak in order to keep the stillsuit out of direct sunlight, but that’s mentioned in a different section).
the only things missing from the 1984 stillsuit design is a face mask and the cloak. but 2020′s costume actually looks like it might have a cloak and a face mask attached to it, which is in-line with the book’s costume descriptions. the other photos show this:
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as for the other costumes, it’s kinda hard to tell just because this is only a handful of pictures. we see a group photo of house atreides in their formal wear, which was a relatively plain but official dark-colored uniform; this is quite similar in appearance to the 1984 adaption:
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we also see a bene gesserit, who does appear to be bald and adorned in a black robe. this is in line with previous adaptations, some of the bene gesserit in the 1984 dune would wear a full black hood and cloak, aside from the more dramatic black outfit we see them in later. so far we’ve only seen this one bene gesserit photo from 2020. we also see Jason Momoa as Duncan - doing what Duncan does best: being handsome and tough.
as for the ‘clunky’ armor: you compared it to star wars, but it’s REALLY important to remember that star wars, the original star wars (including costume design, story design, character elements, etc…) was heavily influenced by the original 1965 Dune novel; George Lucas himself has admitted this. so honestly you can’t really say that the costumes look “star wars-y”, when the entire reason star wars is the way it is and looks the way it looks is because of Dune in the first place.
the costuming doesn’t have to necessarily be a crazy-futuristic-we-all-wear-chrome sort of thing to show how far away this world is from our own. hell, the costumes in the other adaptations weren’t super crazy tbh (except for Feyd, but we havent’ seen his 2020 design yet). but it’s also super important to remember that we don’t want to just believe this world is SUPER FAR APART AND DIFFERENT from our own - because these people are us down the line. they’re still humans, set several thousands of years in the future, we have to connect to them while still understanding that they are far more advanced than us. a good, easy way to do that is to costume them in a way that is different, strange, but still normal enough that a modern human could connect to it.
and not to mention, we haven’t seen anything else so far about this film - there are so many other costumes that are yet to be seen. there are so many character designs we haven’t seen yet: WE HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN THE GUILD NAVIGATORS YET. can you imagine how wild the Guildsman might look in this adaptation? we also haven’t truly seen any of the sets yet. there is a lot of world building left to see. there is a lot left to be revealed that i imagine will very easily make us believe we’re in the year 10,191. judging it as ‘not looking futuristic enough’ based on the very few photos and costumes we have is a bit short-sighted.
personally, i’m very excited about this adaptation. Dune is a notoriously difficult book to adapt, but from what little we’ve seen so far, it looks like it’s going to be pretty good and likely in-line with the book as much as it can be. if there’s any director i trust with Dune, it’s Villeneuve.
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itsmoonphobic · 4 years
Text
Elemental Souls (SBI+Tommy 4 elements au)
(🌿) ♡ (🔥) ♡ (🌊) ♡ (🌬)
Techno Blade -Fire:
"Fire is the rapid oxidation of a material in the exothermic chemical process of combustion, releasing heat, light, and various reaction products."
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You can either see Techno as rude,cocky and egoistic or you can see him as loyal,determined and smart.
Becouse of his cold facade,Techno can scare poeple off easily.The fact that he gets aggressive easily doesn't make it any better.He tends to be very sarcastic and loves to tease/ignore people badly which is another reason poeple tend to stay away from him.
Techno can be described as terrifying.Becouse he is very intelligent and silent poeple around him can only wonder what he is thinking and if he is planning on killing someone soon.Of course Techno never killed anyone and he would never do so but his scary aura makes people believe he did and would do it again.
He doesn't take things very seriously and will only get invested if he is deeply committed and interested in them or if he gets something out of it.Techno may say that he isn't a competitive person but god is this man lying to himself.
Challenging Techno to something is probably the most dumbest move you could make.Not only will he destroy you and win but he will make a whole ass war out of it.This guy won't sleep,eat or talk to another human being until he's won.And you can bet your ass he will totally humiliate you and rub it in till it burns-
That's what Techno can be seen as from the outside. But on the inside he is anything but confident,cocky and unbeatable.He is very shy and socially awkward. He only picks out certain people who he will let take part in his life.On some days his insecurities will get the best of him and he won't come out of his room for weeks-
Hours and hours spent on crying only then become evident once he leaves his room and reveals this mess of red and puffy eyes,dark valleys and pale skin.The vibes he gives off basically scream "back of and leave me the fuck alone or I will burn you to death"
Others may think that a fiery person like him has to have exciting and risky hobbies-When in reality Techno loves peaceful and quiet activities like reading or studying.May I add that in his free time Techno absolutely loves to be outside and farm potatoes on a daily-
Sure Techno does fighting and skill upgrading from time to time but when he is left alone with his head full of thoughts he will scurry to the local library and spend the rest of his day there.Nobody questions why he goes there or makes fun of him that such a tough guy reads books-Becouse they very well know he will personally beat them up and burn down their houses.
Techno's best friend Phil is the only person who he truly trusts with everything and anything.The two of them grew up together and developed a really strong emotional and family like bond.Techno only allows Phil to see his vulnerable and fragile side,he will cry infront of him and even let Phil hug him while he reassures him that everything will work out and be fine.
Techno isn'a touchy guy,for him pda is disgusting and unnecessary-like,why the fuck would you put your hands on another person?What kind of person enjoys sharing physical contact?Not Techno that's for sure.
Over time Techno became more open and extroverted so he agreed to meeting two of Phil's friends,both of them having different elements.Phil commented something about how he thinks that opposite friendships are way more exciting and fun!Techno didn't think much of it,he simply rolled his eyes and went along with it.
That was the day Techno met Wilbur and Tommy.He could immediately tell that Tommy would be annoying as fuck and really hard to deal with-I mean the kid was only twelve when they first got introduced.Wilbur on the other hand sparked some sort of feeling inside of Techno that made him feel welcomed in his presence.
So yeah over the course of the next four years the four element benders became really close.Yes even grumpy Techno had to live with the fact that he would die for all of them-even Tommy.And speaking of Tommy,he and Techno do everything together-
If you would to make fun of Tommy or tease/annoy him in any be it negative or positive way-Techno would hunt you down and burn you-If it isn't intense he will stick to only a threat-but if you actually physically or mentally hurt Tommy??Oh boy-I may have said that Techno never did and never would kill somebody,but in this case there is a high chance of an angry Techno being after you.
Techno sees his friend group as family members.Phil represents a huge father figure,Wilbur his younger brother and Tommy his youngest brother.He is very overprotective of them all,especially over Tommy if you couldn't already tell.With how much shit he gets himself into and the fact that he is only sixteen years young and his braincells are still producing he can't but worry for him and take care of him,even if he does bully the fuck out of him :)
Wilbur and Techno have the best moments.The two of them both enjoy reading so you can occasionally discover them in the local town library where they are just enjoying the peace shared between eachother. Although Wilbur does have a chaotic and wild side to him which he lets out when he's around Tommy,he becomes quite and relaxed when around the fire bender.Techno knew from the moment he met Wilbur that the two of them would get along great.
Techno isn't really good with showing his feelings or dealing with his emotions-Like I said apart from pride and anger he doesn't reveal much to the world.Phil used to be the only person Techno trusted but now with the whole gang on his side he earned himself more poeple to rely on.Of course it took time for him to open up and really let himself go infront of Tommy and Wilbur but the waiting definitely paid off.
When Techno practices,for example his weapon usage and fire bending it is best to leave him alone and stay a safe distance away from him.There is a chance for him to attack you,though he will most likely just snap at you and tell you to piss off if you don't wanna burn alive and if you wanna keep all your fingers in place.
Also not to mention,Techno is on the way of becoming a vegetarian.At the start he only hated eating anything related to pigs,like bacon or pork chops.But after developing his love for farming he noticed just how unnecessary eating meat is.Sure he still consumes meat from time to time but in most of the cases he will turn it down and eat a baked potato instead :D
Squid and Dream(A water bender and a earth bender) are both in a rivalry with him.Techno is probably the one who started randomly picking on Squid at one point and from there on out they kind of grew close?Not too close but most definitely a form of friendship.
Dream on the other hand is hundred percent the one who constantly competes with Techno.Be it in element bending or grades in school.If Dream manages to get even half a point more on an exam he would literally celebrate.The most annoying part is the fact that Techno doesn't even acknowledge Dream. Just to see Dream's face when Techno only shrugs and lets out a small "ehh" while saying that it doesn't matter and he sees no point in anyone trying to be as good as him or better,makes it more entertaining ;D
To sum it all up: Techno is a natural born leader.His dedication and determination along with his loyalty are a healthy base for a powerful soul.The reason behind his aggressive,confident and somewhat rude side is due to the fact that he is a fire bender and his element is naturally fierce.He fights for what he thinks is important and right and never lets anything happen to the poeple he deeply loves and cares about.He is not the best when it comes to showing sympathy and affection and he doesn't seek it from anyone else.He has to deal with major mental health issues but he's more than thankful for his friends that are by his side and help him out on his journey.Once Techno opens up to you more you know he likes you,like I said to earn Techno's respect and trust you have to meet his expectations and show him that you actually care for him and his well being.He needs some love guys <3
Like fire itself, fire benders tend to be passionate, dynamic, and temperamental. Fire can keep you warm, or it can do great destruction. While fire burns out quickly without fuel to keep it going, it can also regenerate its power from the ashes. A single spark can set off a forest fire. As a result, fire benders need to be nurtured and managed carefully.
Phil Watson - Air:
"Air refers to the Earth's atmosphere. Air is a mixture of many gases and dust particles. It is the clear gas in which living things live and breathe. It has an indefinite shape and volume. It has mass and weight, because it is matter."
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The most hardworking,kind and caring guy you will ever encounter.Phil is the definition of wholesome :)
Phil is a very understanding and empathetic person. He patiently listens and respects people's boundaries and insecurities.He is a great comfort to many poeple with phobias and mental health issues.A part of his element is care and gentleness.Phil is very careful and elegant with his words and actions.He tends to not be hasty and obnoxious around people he first meets or knows who don't like that type of behavior.
He and Techno are very close.Phil trusts Techno with his eyes closed and the same goes for Techno.The way the two of them interact with eachother suprises people all the time.How could such a gentle soul deal with a feisty one like Techno's??Outsiders and even familiars wonder if the two share some sort of telepathic connection.All in all they share an unbreakable and strong family like bond.
Not only did Phil introduce his other really good friends to Techno and managed to get him to open up more and trust other people apart from him,but he also helped Techno realize that there are other poeple out there who care about him and want to give him nothing but undeniable love <3
Techno may be close with Wilbur and Tommy but the only person who knows about Techno's struggles and his biggest fears is Phil.He knows exactly in which way he needs to talk to him and how to act around him.Phil knows Techno doesn't like affection like hugs and holding hands but as a sign of appreciation and gratefulness Techno allows Phil to hug him while he calms him down and takes care of him.
The way he acts with such precision and grace makes anyone feel welcomed and comfortable around Phil. Phil is very helpful.He doesn't wait for poeple to come up to him and ask him for something,he goes up to them and asks if he can help them out with anything.
He stands up for justice and always does the right things.Phil has a big heart,if he sees anyone who is hurt or feeling down his parent like instincts will activate and he will immediately comfort them.
All three of his best friends(Techno,Wilbur,Tommy) look up to him as a father figure,which warms Phil's heart and he honestly he thinks it's super cute <3 So naturally Phil can't but see them as his three polar opposite,chaotic sons.He would do anything for the three of them,even risking his own life.
Tommy and Phil's relationship is probably the most cutest one.When Phil tells Tommy to quit it or to stop fighting with Wilbur or Techno(mostly Wilbur),Tommy instantly goes quiet and apologises for it.Phil's air bending is something that Tommy loves about him.He will always ask the elder if he can twirl him around in the air and make him fly.Phil gladly does so and he will tickle him with the wind he creates until Tommy is a giggling mess :D
Wilbur and Phil on the other hand are a completely different dynamic than Techno & Phil or Tommy & Phil. Most think that Phil would be scared of Techno like any other person is but it's actually Wilbur who genuinely scares Phil from time to time.Sure anyone who sees him doesn't think that something like "I just wanna fucking murder everyone around me and drag them to the bottom of the ocean-" would come out of his mouth.It's not only what he says it's how and when he says horrifying things like that.They could be out on a walk and Wilbur would just have the most blank expression while he says sentences like that.Phil is pretty sure that he even caught Tommy holding onto Techno's hand once while Techno shivered slightly with wide eyes.
Phil is known for being very respectful and polite.He doesn't like to be mean and angry towards anyone!He is a big pacifist(unlike other poeple 👀)who likes to sort things out with a nice and peaceful conversation instead of turning to immediate violence.He will argument with someone,but only when he has a good reason to do so.If he sees people arguing or fighting he will confront them about it and make sure they settle down and put their differences aside.
He's affectionate and really interested in the problems of others,as if they were his own.He will always be there if you are stuck with something and need help solving or overcoming said problem.He'll make sure that both of you find a way to get rid of it! <3
Air benders are also the most forgiving element benders,so Phil can tell the difference between acting out and just plain old meanness,and he understands that in moments of strong emotion, people can say and do things to can hurt others. Not that he'd ever do the same!His cool, collected vibe helps him navigate the drama and analyze it throughly.
Phil is a master of both small talk and deep convos, and he knows how to use his wit to get him out of awkward moments.That's another way Phil instantly gets the hang of strangers he just met!!He knows what subjects to bring up and what topics to talk about that they are interested in!
Also I quickly wanna say that Phil's laugh is super contagious!He could be out with Techno,Wil and Tommy while the three of them rant on and on about their days and just talk about random,shit.Phil will silently listen to every detail in the background while he uncontrollably laughs.He will let out a small "What?" or "No way dude" but apart from those small phrases he just prefers listening and cackling.He loves to see other people laugh and smile and is even more happy when he is the reason they do so :3
Phil is generous and selfless.He puts the health and safety of others before his own.He doesn't require many things to be satisfied in his life.As long as he has his family and friends he couldn't be more grateful <3
He definitely has a love for birds such as pigeons and doves.One time about two years ago Tommy brought Phil a beautiful silver feathered bird for his birthday. Even with his element being air,Phil sometimes wishes and dreams of flying himself,being able to feel that freedom for himself you know?He sees birds as lucky to have a gift such as flying.
Air benders are all about action, ideas, and motion—they are the “winds of change.” When a strong gust hits you, you can’t help but move. While some within their ranks may be true-life “airheads,” others are as powerful as a gravity-defying G-force. Air benders bring everyone a breath of fresh air when things start to get stale. Like the breeze, you can’t quite catch them, and you never know where they’ll drop you once they sweep you up. It will almost always been an adventure, though
Wilbur Soot - Water:
"Water is an inorganic, transparent, tasteless, odorless, and nearly colorless chemical substance, which is the main constituent of Earth's hydrosphere and the fluids of all known living organisms. It is vital for all known forms of life, even though it provides no calories or organic nutrients."
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Charming,suave and flirty in a way that can only be from fiction.Do men like that even exist?Apparently they do and they go by the name of Wilbur Soot.
Ever stand under a waterfall? That’s what it’s like when a Wilbur is feeling an intense emotion.
Intuitive, emotional and ultra-sensitive,Wilbur can be as mysterious as the ocean itself. Like water,he can be refreshing,or he can drown you in his depths.Security is important to him,after all, water needs a container, or it dries up and disappears.
He tends to hold on to people and items long past their expiration dates,and his emotions are always flowing like the waves of the oceans.Wilbur has intense dreams,visions,and an intuition so strong that it’s basically a psychic power.He can see situations happening from a mile away before they occur.
He might intentionally seek out sad music or movies, and he probably has childhood photos framed in his room.Emotional and creative,he relays on his heart and gut to make a decision.Logic and reason are second to his feelings which is how he navigates the material world.Wilbur also longs for security at all times,which makes sense as he's protective of his loved ones and himself.He'll do everything he can to help the ones he cares about,even if it’s at his own expense.
However, like most things beautiful, below the surface many complexities often arise and the same is true when talking about water benders.
Wilbur is notoriously perceptive and he possesses instincts when it comes to sussing out people and situations.He's guided by his gut feelings and more often than not his first instinct about a person are dead on.He can get a feel for whether someones intentions are honorable or not just by observing their body language and general demeanor.
Like a river filling in every crevice of its path,Wilbur covers every detail and often picks up on things that others miss.No riverbed is left to dry as the water flows through each and every intricacy.
The water signs are no stranger to emotion, in fact, they often feel things rather intensely.
On one hand,his emotional side can provide him with a lot of insight and wisdom into the human experience which he can even then pass on to others.On top of this,it allows him to be incredibly empathetic which helps him form strong bonds with others.
But sometimes he can get so overcome by his emotions that it feels like a giant tidal wave just hitting him all at once. When he feels overwhelmed like this he can find it tough to think straight and make rational decisions.
Because he is so prone to analyzing absolutely everything he can sometimes overthink things a little too much and make life more complicated for himself then it needs to be.He has a bad habit of coming up with problems and obstacles in his mind that don’t actually exist or aren’t nearly as bad as he's talked himself into them being.
Sometimes you might catch Wilbur acting withdrawn or shy but the truth is he's probably just deep in thought and mentally a million miles away.He often finds his thoughts are racing at a million miles an hour and that he's powerless to do anything about it.
Just like a bustling river,Wilbur can be a bit wishy washy and kinda all over the place… especially when it comes to making important decisions.Too many options can sometimes leave him overwhelmed and struggling to make any decision at all.
He's also known for being easily distracted and can go from paying close attention in one moment to being totally away with the fairies the next.He doesn't do it out of rudeness he just can’t help himself sometimes!
Wilbur has a very private and mysterious side,he doesn’t like to reveal all of his cards at once.He's known for putting up walls and can be particularly guarded when he's around people he doesn't trust.
From time to time he needs space to himself to think and unwind. As much as he loves his friends and family there’s just some times where he's gotta have some alone time to spend by himself.
Wilbur sure has a unique way of looking at the world. His perspective combined with his vivid imagination makes him naturally gifted in music or anything involving a creative flare.He is a dreamer at heart whose ideas aren't limited by pesky rules or conventions.
He has a big musical talent,his voice is a perfect balance between rough and velvety.It's not too high and not too low,not too loud and not too quiet.The moment he strums his guitar strings he can wrap anybody around his finger.
Wilbur is emotionally manipulative.He can make you feel bad for something you didn't even do.He can make you regret things or certaint actions that aren't supposed to make you feel regretful.He will only use this "talent" of his in a worst case scenario.If you ever hurt his friends or loved ones he will make your life a living hell,wouldn't even wonder if you never decided to show your face to the public ever again.
Techno's and his relationship is wonderful.Wilbur has helped Techno so much to open up more and come out of his shell.They both enjoy the peaceful and quiet times in their life.Reading,going on walks or strolling along the beach while watching a sunset is just some of the many things they love doing together.He isn't as close to Techno like Phil is but he is close second. He sees him as his older and stronger brother who will always be there for him when he needs him.Honestly the two of them have such a beneficial dynamic <3
Now Tommy's and Wilbur's interactions are something absolutely opposite.When the two of them spent time together,they become these chaotic and annoying siblings that go around town and fuck with people. There was this one time where they flooded a barn which belonged to Phil's neighbors and the two reckless idiots ran away laughing.Sure Tommy steals Phil's stuff all the time or uses it without permission but Wilbur,just like Techno,is very overprotective of Tommy.If he finds out that somebody hurt Tommy in any way or made fun of him he will beat them up. Literally he will call in Techno for help to go and pay the little fuckers who messed with Tommy a visit.The only ones who are allowed to tease and bully Tommy are Techno and Wilbur,no one else.
Phil and Wilbur have some of the best moments when spending time with eachother.Not only is Phil a great source of reassurance and comfort but he knows that Phil will seal his mouth shut if Wilbur speaks to him about his insecurities and problems.He loves that Phil listens to him and never judges him about anything. Like the other two Wilbur sees Phil as a father figure. A great and inspiring role model he can look up to.
He likes to collect sea shells and old treasures he finds scattered over the sand at the beach.He doesn't like swimming or diving,which is really unrealistic to not only other water benders but benders in general.It's not that Wilbur is scared,he simply likes to admire it from the shore.He will do it from time to time must mostly he will just sit down and let his legs and feet rest in the cold liquid.
I can imagine that when he was a kid he used to pretend to be a pirate.He still has his old eye patch and hook that were part of his costume.Now,even after thirteen years he still likes to go up to the harbor when the fishermen arrive with a freshly caught catch and watch the ships glide across the indigo waves.
Tommy Simons - Earth:
"Earth materials are vital resources that provide the basic components for life, agriculture and industry. Earth materials can also include metals and precious rocks."
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Tommy is outgoing,energetic and he isn't afraid to speak up and share his thoughts with others.A very openminded and positive guy.He always looks on the bright side of every situation he finds himself in.
He is down to earth.He doesn't believe in having dreams,he only believes and accepts things the way they are and how they are portrayed in his eyes.
People don't realize it but they are seriously underestimating Tommy.When you first see him you don't expect him to have good strategies and the ability of leadership like Techno clearly has.But that's the thing.One of the many things Tommy picks up while being in a friendship with the fire bender is experience.Techno will lazily teach the young earth bender how to protect himself and lead a team. Without Techno's guidance Tommy would have been in trouble countless times.So you could say that Techno is Tommy's mentor :)
He's a great mood booster!If there is awkward tension in a room or between others he will make it up by just being there and doing what Tommy does the best, brighten up the atmosphere!He will start random conversations and just try to get everyone else to do something fun like play a game or watch a movie.
Techno may help Tommy with things like self defense and how to establish dominance but the earth bender helps him with his potato farming!He will hurry up the process of their growth and make sure they are perfect before they are harvested.He keeps track of the amount of soil and vitamins the earth their roots grow in receives.
Speaking of Techno's and his relationship: The two of them are so close it's insane.They do everything with eachother!They train,upgrade their skills in bending and fighting,they go out to eat or have a drink,they go around town and fuck things up-the two of them are huge pranksters.Tommy always tries to prove himself infront of Techno and impress him in any way.Tommy loves spending time with Techno,the blond earth bender admires him in so many different ways- They don't have to be doing much together,it can be mindless talking or simply being in the same room.
Wilbur and Tommy are ehhh- special?On one side they are funny and entertaining together but on the other side they can be insulting eachother with such vulgarity that you could think they are about to commit murder any moment.Tommy talks so much shit about Wilbur.If you're dumb enough and actually choose to listen to him,he will ramble on about how Wilbur thinks he's so smart and good with the ladies- Yoo would think that after trash talking him that Tommy hates Wilbur's guts but it's the opposite!!If he catches you talking bad about Wilbur behind his back he will call Techno and they will hunt you down.
Tommy like everyone else sees Phil as his very caring and cool dad!Phil somehow always finds out about all the shit Tommy does and he gets scolded for it.Like most people,if Tommy ever has a problem he's dealing with or he's in a uncomfortable situation,Phil is the first person who crosses his mind and therefore the one he turns to.
The way Tommy goes around their town and picks fights with others is so stupid.At the end he comes home with bruises and wounds all over his skin.One time his best friend Toby brought him to Phil with a bloody nose and Phil's reaction was screeching-
He is extremely curious and stubborn.He doesn't really think before he acts and dives into unknown things he's not familiar with head first.Techno is the one who laughs at him and teases him about how clumsy he is.
Earth benders keep it real. They are the “grounded” people on the planet, the ones who bring us down to earth and remind us to start with a solid foundation. Slow and steady, these “builders” are loyal and stable, and stick by their people through hard times. On good days, they’re practical; at worst, they can be materialistic or too focused on the surface of things to dig into the depths.
Hope you enjoyed this au!!I am currently writing MULTIPLE stories and au's so bare with me guys!I don't like working fast becouse my work afterwards doesn't feel completed:( I hope all of you have a wonderful day/night <3 Love ya!!!
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thedearidiot · 3 years
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Aaron Rodgers - Climax
“Life is a collective impossibility.”
There were so many languages. Aramaic, Phoenician, Etruscan, Tamil, Moabite, Umbrian. Too many languages. From where did they all come? It was a puzzlement, especially if you believed—and if you were authoring the Pentateuch you no doubt did—that all these speakers were branches of a single family tree. Why would Noah’s descendants, leaving the Ark to replenish the Earth, differ so greatly from one another? You needed an etiology, you did. If you were Greek, you might blame Hermes. If you were Bantu, you might blame a famine-induced madness. But if you were writing the Book of Genesis, you might blame, well, God.
The story of the Tower of Babel from Genesis 11 is short—very short. You’ve probably heard it, or at least something like its broadest outlines. In only nine verses no longer than your average nursery rhyme, the postdiluvian people (speaking but one language) decide in their arrogance to build a tower to reach the heavens; the Lord sees it and is displeased; and so the Lord confuses their language and scatters them about the globe. Short, sweet, and to the point: Pride goeth before the globe-scattering fall.
Or at least that is the traditional interpretation. And it’s not an unreasonable one—what few dots there are seem to connect in a pretty straight line, and old-timey Yahweh was quite prone to smiting, having just exited his “drown them all” Great Flood phase. Like so many ancient stories, it easily calcifies into something abstract and removed from the specifics of the story itself. But actually reading the nine relevant verses is quite a time—especially when read from the perspective of an acolyte of God fashioning an explanation for the world’s diversity of languages. For the Lord did not just punish the people for their hubris; he did so out of fear that their unity of language and of purpose would make them his rivals (“and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do”). And the Lord did not choose just any punishment; he chose exactly the thing that the people most feared (“and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth” / “and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth”). Taken together, it paints an astonishingly bleak picture—humanity, its highest goals easily scuttled by outside forces, overseen by a vengeful, jealous God more interested in chaos and the psychological scars of a self-fulfilling prophecy than in peace or understanding. (And all this from Moses, one of God’s chief troubadours! Imagine the story a naysayer might have told.)
It’s hard not to think of the Tower of Babel in the wake of Climax, Gaspar Noé’s latest boundary-pushing entry in his own foreboding corner of the cinéma du corps/New French Extremity. Noé is not shy about citing his idols and reference points generally, from Godard to Kubrick to Lynch, nor has he been subtle about the influences on Climax—in addition to referencing the Tower of Babel, Shivers, and The Towering Inferno (among others) in interviews, Noé has helpfully laid out a wealth of data points surrounding the monitor on which he displays his dance troupe’s introductory interviews. Among the citations: Argento’s Suspiria; Fassbinder’s Querelle; Żuławski’s Possession; Pasolini’s Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom; and Buñuel’s Un Chien Andalou, not to mention various books like Taxi Driver and How to Succeed at Suicide. The ways in which these influences play out are sometimes obvious (e.g., Selva’s (Sofia Boutella) agonized, writhing convulsion in the hallway explicitly recalls Isabelle Adjani’s subway paroxysm in Possession), sometimes less so (e.g., Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis, which—according to Noé, the little stinker—appears because “I like the title and I like the book...because it’s so cruel”). There is no Holy Bible propped up against Noé’s mid-1990s tube TV, but the idea of a vengeful and jealous overseer disrupting an attempt at something greater is central to Climax. As he did in Irréversible, Noé realizes that hell, unbearable as it can be, is only made more hellish by the possibility of heaven.
Climax begins (like Irréversible) with the ending. Lou (Souheila Yacoub), covered in blood, is seen from overhead stumbling through the snow before collapsing. Something terrible has obviously happened to her (this is Noé, after all), but unlike Irréversible, which unfurls a fully backward chronology, this prologue is only a brief flash-forward. After the credits play, Climax introduces us to its large cast via the aforementioned interviews, quickly sketching its players’ backgrounds, interests, and fears as the dancers—applying to be part of some sort of international touring group—discuss sex and drugs and other points of interest to the bohemian twentysomething circa 1996. From there, Climax moves to an abandoned school on the outskirts of Paris where the group is rehearsing, and it is at this point that Noé provides his greatest shock of all: joy. As the dancers krump and vogue and contort in what can only be called harmonious dissonance, Noé’s unbroken take evokes the bygone MGM musical of Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly, celebrating the amazing things a body in motion can do not by simulating that motion through quick-hitting edits but through the camera’s unblinking gaze.
Of course, Climax’s version of the cinematic dance number has a decidedly modern bent not incidental to its overarching themes. The participants in manager Emmanuelle’s (Claude Gajan Maull) group are not performing in the classical Astaire-and-Rogers style, nor do they look like the cast of Singin’ in the Rain. Instead, they are diverse in almost every way—nationally, ethnically, sexually, socioeconomically. What they have in common—in addition to youth—is an affinity for creative movement and a desire/belief (perhaps born of naïveté) that through their collective efforts they can make the world a better place. Climax early on declares that it is a French film and proud of it and a large sequined French flag hangs behind the dancers, framing their efforts. For a time, it seems as though these young performers, accepting of all comers and overflowing with joie de vivre, might represent a new, aspirational future for France, free of the petty jealousies and insecurities and bigotries that define (and mar) life as we know it.
But Noé is not one for uplift, and as the prophetic prologue cautions, this jubilant beginning must come to an end. After their astonishing first dance—several of the most infectious minutes one is likely to see onscreen—the performers become revelers, celebrating their upcoming tour with food and merriment and sangria. That sangria happens to be laced with LSD—something neither the dancers nor we yet know, though some pointed shots of the punch bowl and the too-frequent mentions of its contents suggest trouble—and will soon cause this utopian mini-society to erupt into death and madness. But the eruption is that of a festering boil. Cleverly, Noé follows the initial dance with a series of conversations among the participants, mostly broken off in pairs. While further fleshing out their characters and deepening certain audience connections (and introducing Tito (Vince Galliot Cumant), Emmanuelle’s young son who, being a child in a Noé film, cannot possibly meet a good end), these interactions also reveal the lie behind the seeming idyll we have just witnessed. Sexual gamesmanship, misogyny, mutual distrust, power dynamics, a general unease—even before the drugged wine has taken hold, no amount of common bond or feel-good sentiments can fully inoculate against the crassness and misanthropy of the human condition. Vive la France—unless that French flag plays less than wholesomely to some of the carousers whose skin color may have left them disadvantaged under its auspices. God is with us—unless God, wary of his waning primacy and unwilling to go down without a fight, has been against us all along.
From there, Noé gifts us one additional extended dance sequence—this time shot from above, like a devilish cousin to Busby Berkeley’s showstoppers—but the additional knowledge we have gained makes the number play very differently than its predecessor. It is still exuberant, still exciting, still full of technical and physical marvels, but there is a sense of disquiet coursing through it, of tenuous allegiances and bids for attention. The playful back-and-forth of the first dance feels slightly more strained; the seemingly effortless flow of before is supplemented with an element of jockeying and competition. All these workers building a tower, but unsure about one another’s methods or their mutual destination.
Being a Noé film, it is no surprise that from there Climax descends into recriminations and mutilation, child endangerment and incest, and ultimately into a crimson-lit nightmare resulting in death. Noé’s superb camerawork—always a hallmark—not only complements the dancing beautifully (one truly wishes that he, along with Edgar Wright, would make an out-and-out musical, though for Noé that would almost certainly have to be Sweeney Todd), it also brings to life the increasingly fragile (and ultimately disintegrated) mental states of his crew of revelers. While Selva is probably the closest thing Climax has to a protagonist as the camera follows her back and forth from the common space to the dorm rooms the group has been occupying, no one seems fully safe/sane—not Selva, as she comes undone in front of some nature-backdrop wallpaper; not Lou or Omar (Adrien Sissoko), who abstain from the sangria for personal reasons that end up visiting upon them violence (whether Western culture dislikes a Muslim or a sexually active woman more is a question Climax does not definitively resolve); not even Daddy (Kiddy Smile), as he good-naturedly DJs the proceedings. That Climax employs so much improvisation is nothing short of miraculous, given how intricately some of Noé’s long takes appear to be choreographed. But beyond mere showmanship (of his own or his performers), these extended sequences give Climax the disorienting effect of feeling both dreamlike (or, perhaps more accurately, nightmarish) and realistic. Real life does not employ the careful and selective cutting of a movie, unfolding as its own long take, yet the memories thereof are fragmented in a subconscious act of self-editing, making Noé’s aesthetic appropriately both distancing and suffocating.
This visual evocation of an unyielding descent into hell is complemented perfectly by Noé and Ken Yasumoto’s sound design. The music that previously served as an enthusiastic soundscape turns menacing and relentless, with the percussive beats and throbbing bass driving the drug-addled action perpetually forward, stymieing any possible reflective moment. Yet that merciless music is preferable to the screams and groans it sometimes drowns out—cries that are themselves preferable, in the case of Tito, to a sudden silence that is deafening in its horrific implications. Even the comparatively hospitable environs of the sleeping quarters see Dom (Mounia Nassangar) attacking Lou and Taylor (Taylor Kastle) taking advantage of his sister, Gazelle (Giselle Palmer). As the sangria brings out the group’s (somewhat) latent paranoia and aggression and worst impulses, a downward spiral is inevitable; once gravity takes hold, escape velocity becomes nearly impossible to achieve.
Unlike Irréversible, Noé does not end Climax on a tragic but perversely bittersweet note; instead, he ends it with a possible explanation for the madness that disquietingly suggests that the madness was unavoidable. The perpetrator’s outsider status implies the doomed nature of group activity. The lies told in the instigator’s interview speak to the inefficacy of preparatory efforts. Most upsettingly, the culprit’s name, drawn from Greek mythology and literally meaning “breath of life,” points back to God and the Tower of Babel. The people banded together in an attempt to do something great, something just within reach. But God wouldn’t have it. So he scrambled the synapses a bit—a different language here, a chemically disrupted neuro-receptor there—and voilà, his supremacy was re-established. But to what end? “Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair,” said a king of kings, until nothing beside remained. Pride goeth before the fall; when the proud one is divine, the fall leads all the way to hell.
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soranihimawari · 4 years
Text
Based on this Oikawa art: ©️to the original artist credits via this link.
Tagging : @oikawa-obvs @m0nstergeneration20xx @smolbludandelions @oikawaandkuroostan
Word count: 2.2k
Playlist for reference:
The lullaby:
The song that helped me write:
Conmigo, tu corazón está a salvo.
(With me, your heart is safe)
A small part of you is a tad bit more curious these days since your building had received a new occupant. You had been studying for months abroad in Argentina, the place where your paternal grandparents had met during the Second World War. They were encaptured by the thrall of escaping their fascist home territory of a province in Italy as children; the two would eventually meet as young adults and with a promise of an apple and fine charcuterie select meats, it wasn’t long before they were busy tending to their own children.
One lucky son met the love of his life on an excursion to the library and had successfully flirted with a young florist who did not fall for the young man’s sharp features, but instead, with his kind heart. The younger couple chose to move abroad to the states for a few years in order to leave behind the pillars of their supportive past to sketch a dream for their future.
You were the first child who infamously stayed mute, observing a world that was meant for those who were much older and wiser than a child. You had been exposed to mainly three languages and until the age of four, you remained silent. You had been dragged to many doctors and learning centers yet the cause for the quiet loomed over your tiny demeanor, but growing up in a multicultural household did have its charm. You were five years old when you finally decided staying quiet was no longer an option; you strung along sentences in your father’s Argentine tongue, your mother’s native British English, & finally much to your grandparents’ surprise, Italian. The world was much more brilliant since that day.
Now, nineteen years later, here you were standing at the mailing center floor of your student lodging. The mid-July season was a time when the air brought about snow and sleet and the graying sunset surrounded the city of Buenos Aries in a phosphorescent hue. The new neighbor had just arrived from Japan earlier last month; he was a sight to behold. You couldn’t help falling for his charming smile or his determineds stare as you two walk up the stairs together. Suddenly, you think of yourself when you were nonverbal for the first five years on this planet. His actions and reactions to the new side world was at first marvelous; you could see his passion and drive everyday you would leave the apartment for various errands like heading to the market or a cafe for a light snack of coffee and pan de bono.
However, the thinning veil of homesickness loomed behind the closed door had become much too great. You didn’t mean to pry, but you could tell the man was clearly upset at something (or in this case someone) as you over heard his voice crack on the phone, which for whatever reason had been set to speaker:
“Lo siento Toto. No podemos encontrar un traductor para usted ahora mismo.”
You close the book you were reading in your room as soon as you heard the call end. It was only three weeks into his tenure, but you and him liked to play a game. You come up with it one afternoon after your online lecture at the university finished and he was home from a jog around the apartment block. You smile at him, waving shyly at first. He returns the gesture before you make a sign with your hands; this is when you point him and he glanced down at your kind eyes. You smile again and with your opposite hand, you tap his door once. You frown, and it’s two knocks. And so on. If there is an emergency, it’s a triangular placed knock; if it’s a health thing like a cold or your cycle showing up, a square. So now you wait patiently waiting by the wall of next to your bed and when you hear no knock from him, you raise your hand and knock twice. Your neighbor agrees with two knocks followed by a triangle.
Of all days to make a house call, you chose no time like the present. You grab your D-link key ring, bag, and a hoodie before you slip on your light blue high top sneakers. You lock your front door and slide to the left. Your heart suddenly beats a bit faster because you give a curtesy knock on the door. The deadbolt squeaks as your neighbor pulls the door open.
The apartment is dark save for the night light in the kitchen and the light in the bedroom. Looming above you, you noticed his pink tinged nose and tear stricken cheeks hidden by a broken smile. You think about your family stories about being lost and found. You apply it to him once the door behind you closes. His dark brown hair bounces on a whim as he instinctually reaches out for your hoodie sleeve; he tugs on the fabric causing you to turn to look down at his hands. He mutters something so quietly you thought it was the heating element being turned on by the timer.
You nod your head, kicking off your shoes; you see the small area next to the coat closet where his shoes were kept. This momentary delay caused enough of a buffer time before he moves his hand into your own to hold. You don’t mind the roughness of his fingers at all. Against yours, it feels like the sport he so heavily trains for everyday gave him these aesthetically pleasing grip. You squeeze his hand gently for reassurance, your eyes hide a certain storm of serenity & you decide that perhaps this is what he needs. You have to quell the uneasiness and betrayal he was emoting because you of all people understand.
Call it a sign of humanness since you both slowly start to see each other not as neighbors, but as equals in the solidarity of finding comfort in the other.Neither of you say anything as he leads you to his kitchen dining island where he sits on a singular barstool, his body facing you with his hand in yours still.
You raise an open palm to his face, his cheek is warmer than you expected when he closes his eyes and the tears fall again. He looks like a pouting child, much to your amusement. You say nothing as your other hand massages the ringlets (which felt like chocolatier mousse)that make up his hair before you feel his other arm snake around your waist and he pulls you closer; your hoodie becomes damp the more he lets out every thing that he kept locked away. The loneliness is not kind to those who fear it, yet the two of you persevered. After all, the dark is less scary when you have a friend and so you grasp a hold of him. It hurts; this hurts seeing him this way because somewhere along the way you and him forged a bond. And you hold the boy who is so far from home as much as you can; believe in me and I will come running to you. Your inner conscience conveys this until his crying subsides you stay there still cradling his hallowed frame. His sniffles are reduced to a breadth of a whisper as you hum the opening bars of a song you heard earlier on the classic radio XM station.
Your eyes notice the shirt he wears has been through better days with the faded title on its sleeve, you realize the word is the same no matter which language you spoke; you brush back his hair with your fingers before you pry his almond eyes upward to get a good look at your stoic face. You wipe his cheeks with both of your hands and when you are sure his eyes are truly focused on your promoninent features, your breath hitches in your throat for a moment. You intake a sharp breath and when you exhale rather slowly, your breath fans across his brow. His eyes are closed for a half a second and you decide to open your mouth when your mid-Atlantic voice finds its place.
“Captain,” is the first word you say with confidence you say with utmost clarity. You trace your fingers on the faded design, your neighbor’s emblem is a crown as well. Your voice cuts through his pride like a comet; it is surreal and bright. The shadows of sadness ceases to exist when you see how much the old title inspires the almost snuffed out embers to reignite. He doesn’t look anywhere but up at you stunned in a wild glimpse of surprise. You repeat the word, a brief smile dances across your features.
“Captain. Capitán. Capitano,” all three languages you know in succession drives his mind to rule the court again. You tell him this out loud until he kisses your lips closed; it is as honest as he feels and when the kiss breaks you tap his steadfast pursed lips with your left handed fingers. His arm is still on your waist with the other brushing back your your front layers of hair over your shoulders. You place your right hand in the middle of his chest which now regained its resting breathing rhythm. He asks you something and you nod. You stifle a yawn before you remove your hand from his lips and lean down again.
This time, this kiss is calculated and efficient; you guide the hand on your waist higher to your neck and when you tilt your head to the opposite side, he whines. Yet you smirk beneath the soft sound he makes you reply with. You remove your lips from his and kiss his jawline, the side of his neck driving his impulse points insane. His hair is a mess and so is yours, but neither of you are paying it any mind when his arms envelope your body; he lifts you with such ease you feel your head swimming and the kiss is becoming more deep. Your hands entwine around his shoulders for stability, and your legs wrap around his hips; and he breaks this moment to hold your body for the few minutes he needs to move you swiftly out of his kitchen and into his dimly lit room. He smiles into this kiss and finally the least bit of sorrow leaves for the time being.
There is an innate need of questions seeking answers. Desires of wanting to feel safe in the company you keep is a mad thought when your nightly clothed bodies are pressed in an innocent hold and the kisses exchanged are like tantalizing secrets you expose.
He knows he’s not in the right mind set to give you all of him, but this physical love language you both trade off are fine for now (on so many levels). He navigates the small apartment with ease calling you nicknames from his hometown like Watashinojinsei no joō & Hikari no ōjo.
You breathe in through your nose and out of your mouth as he lays you down, a tender sigh escapes your mouth in vague innocence remains. (It would be a name he affectionately still calls you years later, but neither of you are perturbed by the future you will create for each other.) You are on equal footing or lack there of as you both reach an sensual epiphany.
You let him hold you for as long as needs; your bold vitality is what motivates your contemporary lover in your arms, away from the fickleness of the world outside. Here in the bed draped in a sky blue tone, does the light he keeps on shine around you. Even Helios learns to drive the chariot, like your mythos books say, so you balance yourself, on your knees close to where he his hands rest on your thighs. He waits learning newer customs he was still adjusting to since he left his palace home behind.
You straighten your lower back as he observes the way you pull off your hoodie revealing a thermal turtleneck that has a designer’s mark stitched on the corner. The familiar western numbers stare at him through the well loved turtle neck. Your paternal grandmother and father’s favorite fútbol player and mother’s lucky number is exposed to him. The faded gold and white thread outlines the club from the late modernization of the sport (a club that has since been retired). Argentina’s famous #13 ranking legend is Oreste Omar Corbatta, commonly known in 1957 as “Angels with Dirty Faces,” but from where the soon to be Olympian watches you, he knows where this chance meeting would end once you trace your fingers along his face...
You crawl back toward him to rest your head against his neck as he presses his lips against your brow. You look up at him with a a stern gaze. He chuckles at the way your nose scrunches before he kisses you one final time, hope ever present when your bodies succumb to sleep. Somewhere along the twilight hours activities, the idea is seared into both your minds that no matter what happens afterwards, because falling in love with him would be the driving force for him to call you his everything.
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