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#like u have good points but sometimes. sometimes my brain does not want to deal with big fancy words
mintytealfox · 6 months
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Hellooooo, its me again uwu.
A bring more Nortalice/Alicenort content! This time its AU releated stuff! Hope that is alright
-Modern AU, they are like Shaun and Ryan from Buzzfeed Unsolved with a mix of Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo thrown in. Lots of hijinks and breaking into restricted and or forbidden areas. Sometimes they are actually solving cases, other times they broke into a gas station left to rot from the 1980s because Alice swears she saw something in there and it results with Norton rushing Alice to the doctors because she ate expired Cosmic Brownies. Not like Norton will complain, because him and Alice agreed on 50/50 on the money that comes from the cases and beats working his dead end job.
-Fantasy AU, Norton is the king of the demon realm, and Alice is the queen of Paradis (the one seen in LG and Orpheus's essences). Their kingdoms have tension with each other. Orpheus the Novelist urges war while Nightmare (yes they are two separate people). Alice however is like "Nah, imma talk to the king" and goes to the demon realm, so the two can work on some sort of peace treaty. Nonsense ensues and the two slowly fall in love, it ending with Norton asking for Alice's hang in marriage, which at first she thinks its so their kingdoms dont fight and his response being "...no you dumbass i love you. Thats why im asking to marry me"
Oletus Manor Doesnt Happen AU, aka what if Norton and Alice never went to the manor but still met each other. Can imagine its because Alice is doing a report on Golden Caves, what happened, why it shut down and interviews Norton, the only survivor from the accident. The two just seem to click and neither know why. Norton at the start tries to use this to his own personal gain, since in his state, he knows damn good and well, he will not be able to get a job again, forcing him in poverty so he tries to butter up Alice, get close to her in the hopes maybe he can marry into money. Alice also tries to use this connection to her advantage, hoping Norton's ties to the mining industry can give her access to more secretive information (like how they treat their workers). They do end up falling love properly though, and Alice uses the money from her family to help push Norton out of poverty and help him start a small jewelry business with the only catch being "Before you even dare spend a penny on clothes or luxurious things, I want you to spend the money I give you to go see a doctor in the chance to save yourself. I care too much about you Norton". Which in turn breaks Norton, but like a good break, like a "Holy fuck, she really does love/care about me, this wasn't an act, i wasnt dumb to let her into my life"
HELLO 🫡You're always welcome!! 🤣 AU stuff is ABSOLUTELY ALRIGHT 👏👏👏
LOOOL I saw Shane and Ryan and 80s and my brain went STRANGER THINGS LOL Like it starts as Norton: 'lol ghost hunting, those aren't real at least these people are paying' while Alice: 'ghost hunting, can you imagine the stories ghosts could tell if they could speak easily?? How thrilling!' But it turns into running for their lives LOL followed by eating expired cosmic brownies like nothing happened but they are all covered in dirt and grime and trauma LOL
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OH F A N T A S Y A U S are ALWAYS BANGERS IN MY EYES AAAAHHH YEESS! Gives me strong Persephone and Hades vibes and that has me SO HYPE OH MY GOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AND This reminds me of the theory I saw who knows where by this point lol but it was about the one Alice skin 'Eternity' and FG's skin 'Infernal Sin' and it went something like him being the dragon of the apocalypse to deal out the punishments that Eternity laid out. Something like that, I wish I could remember it cause it was dope as hell LOL
IF THEY MET WITHOUT THE MANOR AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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10000000% using each other until Alice falls first and Norton falls HARDER MUAHHAHAHA Recently my brain keeps going to the quote from 'Our Flag Means Death' and they say "you wear nice things well" and just seeing Alice saying that to Norton when he finally gets to get all dressed up for something and him like 'oh woah' but the magic fading pretty quick at the realization, 'this is not comfy at all' and then waiting until at the gathering to say something out of pocket like "I feel like I have a pickaxe shoved all the way, right up my--" -Alice slams her hand over his mouth- 🤣🤣🤣
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reaperkiller · 6 months
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🤥💥🍟🌺☀️🙉🏊✂️ 💚 for luci :3 (i wanted to send more but. that's a lot skdkfkfkfk u don't have to answer all if u don't want to!)
LUCI MY SWEET BABY BOY LUCI. i am linking eveyrone to this post. you will look at him again.
🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?
oh he is a Very bad liar. but in the way where like, if you weren't looking at him, it would be fine. but. the second you look at his face. he's like this. so. he's not doing very well.
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💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?
literally any emotion if it's strong enough, it can get too overwhelming too fast to the point where he physically Cannot stop wriggling around or rocking or whatever and just has to go and lie down until his brain stops vibrating and screaming. usually he can stop it before it gets to that point, but it requires a lot of energy and sometimes he's just Too Tired for it. which makes him worse. and even More tired. and then he just wants to be held for the rest of the day.
🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?
prefers to cook his own food 1000% bc there are So many things he cant eat or they will kill him dead on the ground in one way or another. he does try out a lot of new recipes so he's not restricted to just a Few safe foods, he just knows how to adjust things in a way that wont have him on the bathroom floor for the next three days AND still taste good
🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?
no allergies necessarily but. a few food intolerences. i have to let him enjoy Something WEHJDGGHJS
☀️ SUN - are they a morning person? what is the first thing they do in the morning?
DEFINITELY a morning person. he always does a few stretches then has a shower and Then makes himself breakfast. always has to be in that exact order and has been for YEARS. and if he does it wrong or misses a step he is very thrown off for the rest of the day, which luckily very very rarely happens. even if he's gonna be late for work and is in a rush to leave he will simply speedrun everything
🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?
ohfgyduhgdhsg being called childish or naive or immature. like Yes he can be very loud sometimes and can have meltdowns very easily. sometimes he does Not understand things people are saying to him, or he cant put things into words or even Speak somedays. yes he still likes playing with toys sometimes and running around in circles at the park. but that doesnt mean he's incapable of holding down a job and being professional. he is a security guard and he is Very good at what he does!!! he even becomes a music teacher part time later on in the story [: basically anyone underestimating him bc of how he acts WILL make him cry. oh and also anyone calling his brother a monster. theres a lot to unpack there that i shant get into here but he will tear you apart with his teeth if you talk about his brother like that
🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?
he LOOOOVES swimming. so much. very fun summer activity and it's also very relaxing for him. it helps him clear his head and burn off any extra AHFDZKJFHJFGSDG!!!! energy he still has in him so he can Relax later. he does like swimming in the ocean but is a liiiittle bit scared of getting swept out to sea somehow so he always sticks VERY close to the beach. would much rather swim in a lake.
✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?
it took him Years to finally get the confidence to cut people off, bc people generally took advantage of how kind and caring he was. he would give people So many chances, bc he wanted them to like him and Not think he was a freak [which he had been bullied for a LOT!!! growing up] so he was desperately clinging onto literally any bit of attention his 'friends' would give him. eventually, after starting a new job that he Likes, and working with so many good people, AND finding his brother again, he managed to build up enough confidence to just. completely shut down a conversation if someone isn't treating him with the respect he deserves. if theyre being an asshole to him for literally No reason, he will walk away. he doesnt need that. he doesnt have time for that anymore!!! he's got better things to do. like kissing his boyfriend.
idk what the last straw would be necessarily but you would have to fuck up SEVERELY. for him to never want to speak to you again.
💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?
HUGS AND KISSES 100000000% it's about the closeness and the pressure and having someone's whole weight on top of him. works better than a weighted blanket. it makes him calm down SO fast every time. i cannot explain this but it makes sense in my brain. sometimes he just wants to be in a coccoon and i think he should be allowed.
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likeadragonfruit · 1 year
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I’m surprised that I don’t have as much to go over in separate posts this time. So it’s roundup/brain dump time for book 3. Also yeah it’s been a few months haha 😅
Big Picture
Overall flow
This is the best season so far. I’ve even seen people say this is better than ATLA, and I don’t know that I’d go that far, but this is probably the most watchable it’s been so far. (And watchability isn’t damning with faint praise, Law and Order built an empire on being watchable.)
It does a decent job picking things up from the previous season and moving forward from there, especially considering how much book 2 looked like it was setting up a series finale.
But that cast size problem? Getting worse. We’re now up to Korra and the rest of Krew, Tenzin and his family (including his siblings still), Lin, Korra’s family (minus Unalaq), and adding in Lin’s family, airbenders (most prominently Kai) and the Red Lotus members
Also, the trend of breaking Korra in some way at the end of each season  continues, expect this is the one without a hasty recovery
Korra and the airbenders
It’s the event that shapes the whole season: new airbenders emerging post-harmonic convergence
And it’s ambiguous exactly what happened but Tenzin (acting as an authorial mouthpiece) attributes it to Korra
So the point is consequences? She (supposedly) created a bunch of airbenders but also kickstarted the Red Lotus plot via Zaheer’s escape
Which later almost kills her, except for the other airbenders who prevent Zaheer from escaping
Anyway, the way this plot is introduced initially bothered me a lot, but since it’s what the season revolves around, I kind of had to deal with it regardless.
Politics:
The politics of moderation reign once more
“(Bad) monarchs are bad, but so is anarchy” is a take I suppose
It’s kind of weak with the Red Lotus being more straw man anarchists than anything
Character opinions
Korra: I’m actually a little bothered by how little I have to say about her currently.
Mako: as said previously, I didn’t hate him and he’s even better now that they’ve freed him from the love triangle. But they’ve also been quarantining him with Bolin.
Bolin: oh Bolin, you’d be so good if you were good. He’s more tolerable this season at moments, and so obnoxious at others still. (Yes I’m ignoring last season.) Ultimately I still landed on not liking him.
Asami: she still isn’t getting storylines, but she’s basically the best supporting player there is. She works well with any character you pair her off with.
Tenzin: pass
Jinora: pass
Kya: oh you get to do so little this season, but I still love you.
Bumi: was alright this season.
Kai: a pretty classic jerk with heart of gold, but the classics are classics because they work.
Hou Ting: pass
Lin: I was actually a bit conflicted because the whole “being forced to interact with Suyin” thing during her mini arc was not a good look on her.
Suyin: so for her all her faults, I actually kinda like her, and it’s hard to explain. The best way I can think of is she scratches the part of my brain that’s a fan of Gon Freeces. And put in a way comprehensible to non-HxH fans, it’s that her selfish and hypocrisy reminds me of other characters where those flaws were critical to their arcs, even though I already know this series will never call Suyin on it, really.
Opal: the only of Suyin’s kids worth mentioning this season. 
Zaheer: he gets talks up a lot as he franchise’s best villain but meh. 
Ghazan: I want to come up with more, but basically I like him, for the little we get
Ming-Hua: see Ghazan
P’li: better than the last combustion bender we got. But most of the positive things I could say are either design or action related. She just got so little to do character wise compared to the rest. 
Shipping
yeah, still keeping this section
Korrasami: well they’ve spent more time together this season. As far as build up, umm…
Jinora/Kai: they’re cute, puppy love
Zaheer/P’li: meh
Bopal: love/hate relationship here. Sometimes I’m just like, “ugh, no, run Opal.” Others, it scratches that “aww dorks in love” part of my brain. But ultimately “girl, run” is winning. (You can do better, Opal!)
Stray observations
This season, having been ordered at the same time as season 4 is clearly setting up things that will come back in the next season. Are they the best use of these connections? Umm…
It’s odd seeing Kuvira this season as a dancer in her (background) introduction and for the rest of the season as the guard captain Lin and Suyin bark orders at, save her saving Tonraq’s life. It’s also a shame since so much more could be done with her and better set up the next season
Why is spirit projection an airbender technique? Because Jinora is an airbender, therefore it must be a form of airbending somehow?
You know, I actually really like the Mako detective moments. While I wouldn’t say I’d like a spin off, an au fic would work
If I had a nickel for every time a villain threatened to or tried to wipe out the airbenders/airbending, I’d have three nickels…
In the “Enter the Void,” Grey’s Ming-Hua starts slipping more into her Azula voice
Okay fuck Bolin for this moment
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8 years later and I still vibe with Ghazan’s death over prison attitude
It’s been a very different experience watching book 3 like this, even more so than book 1 and 2. 8 years ago, I was watching books 3 and 4 during a stressful time in my life and didn’t necessarily mind all the details then
And with that, we’re in the homestretch. Just book 4 left now…
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quickhacked · 2 years
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[breaks down your door] give me the whole people section + 🌌💓 for vincent my utmost specialest boy
WOGHH THANK U RENA AAAAAA vincent my beloved... oh my god he's really in here now. into the washing machine he goes [microwave already occupied i'm running out of household devices]
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👁️ EYE - what color are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical…)?
vincent has light hazel green eyes :D they're a very pretty shade and appear a bit more brown-ish in sunlight because there's little specks in them :) <3 they're insanely pretty and people tend to compliment him a lot on them!!
🤥 LYING - are they a good liar? do they have tells to show they're lying?
vincent is not all that great at lying, mainly because he doesn't like to bottle things up. lying to him is just adding unnecessary clutter to his brain and he will worry about it AND feel bad so even if he does end up telling a great lie, he will apologize very quickly and just tell the truth anyway because he can't stay quiet about it
a very obvious tell for him is that he becomes very serious when he's lying. he treats it as a very serious matter so he feels like it would be inappropriate to just be chill in a situation like that, without taking into consideration that him suddenly acting very stiff is Entirely out of place with how he usually is LOL so generally his friends can tell when he's not being honest with them, but it's always for a very good reason so instead of getting angry at him they'll ask what's bothering him ;w;;
👻 GHOST - do they believe in ghosts? what are their "ghostly experiences", if any?
vincent doesn't believe in ghosts but he LOVES to talk about it and discuss opinions with others. he would totally be down to go ghost hunting with you <3 he finds comfort in his own beliefs that at the end of the day there's nothing there but still likes to theorize about it and is very open-minded and likes to hear other people talk about it (doesn't just apply to ghosts btw!! he's like this for a lot of things)
he doesn't really have any ghostly experiences, but sometimes does experience. other things. such as his body warning him for incoming danger almost, in a way, and he has very strong intuition and a reliable gut feeling. this is all mostly because of johnny silverhand, in a way; though vincent isn't exactly sure how (yet. hee hee)
💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?
jealousy and sadness, mostly. vincent very easily thinks "i want that too" when he sees other people with stuff, mainly because when he was younger he didn't get a lot of things because his older siblings always took everything before he could even get the chance to get close to it, whether it was about toys or food or whatever. it's something he's painfully aware of and it bothers him a lot because he doesn't want to be like that, but it still ends up being his first thought VERY often (though it's important to mention he never acts on it and also doesn't let it influence his behavior towards others, it's just an annoying background feeling)
with sadness it's mostly because when he was younger he was ridiculed a lot whenever he tried to stand up for himself or whenever he was crying (or when he was crying because he was being ridiculed), to the point he's nowadays just expecting people to make fun of him when he's angry or upset. whenever he feels sad or feels like crying he starts to feel really bad about it and tries to hide himself away so he won't bother others and also as a way to protect himself, almost :((
😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?
vincent cries pretty easily, but also knows how to control his tears so he still ends up not crying all that much even though he Does kinda want to just. cry sometimes :// any kind of intense negative emotion can push him over the edge, especially anger for some reason; it's once again tied to him being ridiculed so often in his past, to the point it just already happens the moment he starts feeling angry
👊 PUNCH - are they quick to violence?
vincent usually tries to ask questions first and shoot later, but many gangs in night city don't give him the opportunity to do so </3 it's more out of necessity than willingness, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do :// as soon as there's a non-violent option available to him, he's taking it though
💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?
vincent cracks his knuckles but does so pretty loudly, if you don't like that noise then. rip ig LMFAO he's trying to do it less because he knows vitali cannot stand the noise but it still happens subconsciously a lot
another thing is that he HATES it when people touch his stuff without asking and he can get very defensive because of it. mikhail and vitali needed some time to get used to this because they both grew up with each other and essentially sharing Everything and stealing each other's stuff constantly, but they're very respectful about it and do their best to remember
a last thing vincent has is his routines. there's a couple of things he just HAS to do sometimes, such as ALWAYS washing everyone's hair when they shower together, or loading the dishwasher in a specific way in a specific order. it's very harmless little things but they're easily overlooked by people who don't know him well, and he can get upset if he isn't able to do them. he's learned to deal with it better over the years but still prefers to just. be able to do them and luckily his friends let him <3
👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?
NOW THIS ONE IS NICE so vincent's parents are richard (a c*p smh) and elise (works in a grocery store), and vincent is the youngest of five. his older siblings are robert (7 years older), jason (5 years older), phoebe (4 years older) and riley (2 years older)
vincent doesn't have contact with his family anymore (RIGHT NOW >:]), he left home with the intent to just stay away because even though his parents weren't outright transphobic, they also weren't all that supportive and vincent was tired of trying to give them second chances :( he does still love his mom a bit. in a way. but he fucking HATES his father and that's not ever going to change <3
i won't go into great detail for his siblings right now because i'm still cooking up some detes and i also don't want to spoil everything but generally speaking, vincent and robert do NOT get along because robert is a fucking cunt, vincent and riley are kind of neutral about each other, and vincent LOVES phoebe and jason so much and they love him too <33 when they were all younger they were constantly bullying vincent, mostly "friendly banter" that kinda. went too far. they realize that now. but not back then. but basically vincent has always clung to phoebe and jason the most despite them also poking fun at him very often
for a future chapter i'm planning some sort of a "knives out" like mystery for the mayer family that forces them all back together >:] it's gonna be insane and vincent is gonna have a Time but i'm already very excited about this even though i am NOT good at writing mysteries LMFAO
😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?
fight, usually. vincent usually Wants to run away but he rarely does, he wants to keep his friends safe and he'll be brave for that if he has to ;w;;
💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?
vincent sleeps very irregularly so whenever he goes to bed he usually falls asleep very quickly because he tends to wait until he's Actually Tired. he's managed to get a better sleeping schedule now that he lives with vitali but still just. occasionally sleeps at Weird Hours LOL what generally helps him sleep is a nice meal before bed and also sleeping with others nearby helps a lot :)
🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?
vincent spawned in my head after i played the game as vitali and i once again got insanely obsessed with cinematic trailer male v LMAO i am in love with his design and i just. wanted to kind of recreate him?? so that's what i did <33 first thing i decided for vincent was that his face claim would be cinematic trailer male v and. well. he still has that now but i also tweaked his design juuust a little bit but in my head he still looks like that mostly <3
it's funny because i was completely not on tumblr when i created all these men so i have very little recollection of how it all started but i DO know that there was very little original content in the mix when i first made vincent and vitali. i just had them as ocs for cyberpunk and then when i created mikhail, THAT'S kind of when the rest of it all became relevant and i started thinking about what would happen after the in-game events and who else would be part of vitali's fixer network etc etc
so yeah vincent was literally just meant to be my v and i didn't have a lot of big plans for him at first, i thought he'd end up being a bit like nathan, ronan and tiberius in terms of like. video game main character oc who lives in my head sometimes. and. well. now this happened LMFAOO
💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?
answered here! to add some more to it: he loves daydreaming about romantic scenarios, this is something he already did before falling in love with vitali (mostly with. random strangers he fell in love with for like 5 minutes LMFAO) and it would always get his heart going a morbillion miles an hour in his chest <3 later on he would sometimes think about holding vitali's hand but he'd have to stop himself because it would just render him useless for a good hour trying to recover from those thoughts LMFAO
oc asks!
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husbandomail · 2 years
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Honestly XY Megas is one of the all time Pokémon mechanics ever.I loved the fact megas was built of trust and love between the trainer and Pokémon.
I know a lot of people want them back(including me) but I don’t think they ever will unless we get a x and y remake which I would love.
I get you with the open world thing cuz I don’t people many if any open world game so sometimes my unfocused brain gets bored if I don’t have direct orders on what to do.
I don’t know if u played arcues but for me Im struggling to complete it idk why but I cuz cant lol so I hope I don’t for this game.
And yes the teams team skull and big bad guzma will all ways be favs becausw of the goofiness.HOWEVER how this was balanced out was with the Aeather paradise plot making it serious when need be and to show a more looming threats hiding underneath.
Team yell was so lazy I don’t even think they gave it more than a minutes thought.To me it was also like they wanted to replicate the vibe of team skull but failed miserably.So I hope they bring it back with this regional evil team and make them super evil again.
And with the badges thing I’m split to be honest. It does make sense for people to do it at different times seeing as they might live closer to that gym and it’s never stated to have an order(like you said with other trainers and brock)but to make it just makes the build up less important?Like I could go to the last first and takes away suspense.Idk to be fair you could do that in let’s go eevee I think?
(God my writing is everywhere lol)
I have a trainsona as well I just cant hack the children thing.it makes the game better imaginging I’m dealing with all this shit and it fun thinking of me and my Pokémon bonding lol.
I just hope the graphics are good and the world looks good instead of blocky.
Now I’m sorry for rambling lol.
I haven't finished Arceus yet either! I'm ruled by my hyperfixations, so when they switched I wasn't really able to keep playing, but now that I'm Back On Pokemon I'll probably get back to it lmao. a friend sent me a shiny Chimchar bc it was my first pokemon, so I'm really excited to have him lmao,, I've also seen plenty of spoilers by now and omg. Giratina is my favorite legendary, I Must See It Again
I get what you're saying about the gyms too! the final gym leaders always feel like strong obstacles bc you've already come so far, they're the last thing standing in your way,, I've felt that same way about the E4, since they've started letting us challenge them in any order? facing Lucian in Diamond definitely felt a lot more intense bc I HAD to fight my way through others to get to him, and I don't mind it in Unova bc it was the first time we could choose the order, but since then it's just been a lil bland imo. But maybe that's also just bc it's been constant too? I wouldn't mind alternating leagues, or being able to challenge them in any order on rematches.
speaking of evil teams and all that. I know very little will ever hit the personal level of "holy SHIT team rocket's boss is the LAST GYM LEADER," and "MY RIVAL IS THE SON OF TEAM ROCKET'S BOSS????" but. I'd love to have more of a personal relationship with the evil team? maybe a rival who gets sick of losing to you, so they join the villains? or a character like Colress, who's only with them for his own reasons and is still clearly interested in you too. again, I do adore N Harmonia, so I'm partial to his role in everything too lmao. a part of me is hoping that the professors end up involved, bc I think it would be super cool.
I do think SWSH had a lot of potential; Rose did have a point, but the story pacing was a total mess. like,, Galar's air is apparently so toxic that the poison-type Weezing gained a regional form to PURIFY the air, they could've done sooo much with the base ideas they have there.
most of this talking is just the Writer Brain I can't turn off though lmao, I love Pokemon more than basically anything and it's been a constant throughout my entire life; I'm beyond excited for these games and I can't WAIT
AND DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR RAMBLING, THAT'S MY LINE LMAO
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whoreadsnowadays · 2 years
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TALK ABOUT HIM TO MEEEEE I WANNA HEAR EVERY THOUGHT FR 🗣🗣🗣
HHHHHHHHHHH OK OK OK OK-
This isn't solely gonna be abt Shatter, bc I genuinely cannot think of much to say that I haven't touched on at least a little in the actual story, and I have so much to say for 2012 Leo in general he's so hhhhh brain worms.
That being said- LEO BREAKING DOWN CRYING IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHERS. IN SHATTER OR NOT. LEO BREAKING DOWN CRYING IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHERS.
And along that line, the turtles in an extreme maybe apocalyptic situation, everyone turns to Leo like "What's the plan? What's going on what do we do?" and because Leo's in front, his back to his brothers, none of them can see the pure terror and horror on his face as he stares forward at the mess they've encountered. The others continue to prod at him, until he snaps, "Just give a second!" And the others can tell just from his voice how terrified he is- LITERALLY JUST- LEO BEING FORCED TO BE VULNERABLE AROUND HIS BROTHERS- that's my shit right there.
And, headcanons now, when he's anxious he hugs himself, rubs his arms, and paces. It gets so bad sometimes that his legs ache for days at a time, but he still has to get that pent up energy out somehow, so he ends up making the pain worse by pacing even more.
And after the leg injury/window thing he's constantly tapping his hands and his good foot, trying to get the same sensation that pacing gave him and always falling short. So every time he goes to pace he has to force himself to just pat any nearby surfaces, trying to resist the urge to get up and move around
Honestly during the farmhouse arc I feel like there isn't any part of that adventure in which he isn't on the verge of a panic attack.
SPEAKING OF PANIC ATTACKS- when he has an attack he has a tendency to hyperventilate to the point that he gets dizzy and almost faints. Usually when he gets the head rush it's like a wake up call, like "Oh you're about to pass out get your breathing under control" but sometimes when it's rly bad n he's panicking too much to fix his breathing, he'll fully collapse and faint. And while it's an incredibly unhealthy way to deal with it, he does always wake up feeling calmer. But that's just because he's too shaken up to really panic anymore.
The first time he works himself up to fainting his brothers all panic simultaneously, only for him to wake up and go "what? I fainted? Weird. Anyway."
ALSO. ADHD. THIS ASSHOLE HAS THE ADHD WITHOUT THE H. His brain is always going a thousand miles a minute, and he's gotten good at sorting through his thoughts quick enough to come up with a quick game plan, but when hes nervous or anxious or just plain scared, he has trouble sorting through everything because it's going too fast for even him
AND FREQUENT HEADACHES. This bitch gets headaches at least once every 2 weeks. Normally they aren't that bad and a nap can make them go away, but occasionally the pain will be bad enough that it has him holed up in his dark room for a whole day.
(Before u continue I must say I love Splinter he's a good character, but I am borderline Splinter bashing for the next three paragraphs)
Daddy Issues off the fucking charts. This bitch is craving validation and reassurance. He loves Splinter, and he knows Splinter loves him, he's shown that multiple times, but his sensei is just so emotionally distant that he doesn't feel entirely comfortable coming to him for reassurance or affection.
AND as an oldest child myself, I can say with confidence that this bitch has the weight of the whole household on his shoulders. Sure Splinter trains them and gives them wisdom and advice and all that, but Leo is the one to force Donnie to bed at 3am, he's the one to make Raph take breaks when training, he's the one that listens to Mikey's rants and hangs his art on the fridge.
Honestly Leo's relationship to Splinter is rly fucking interesting ok? At least the idea of it I have in my head. Leo looks up to and admires Splinter, he wants to be as good of a ninja and a leader as Splinter is. He wants to make his father proud. But also he's scared of Splinter. When anything goes wrong he knows that Splinter will look to him for an explanation, and he knows that if his explanation is less than ideal it'll be his head on the line, no matter who's fault it was. It's always "Leonardo, why were you not watching your brothers? You are their leader. You need to be leading them, keeping them out of trouble." And Leo can't help but feel annoyed as well, because really what's he going to do? Put them all on child leashes? He can't help what they do and it's unfair for Splinter to put the blame on him as well.
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bloomyagi · 3 years
Text
bleed me dry (m)
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summary: where Itadori is your bottom-loving boyfriend and Sukuna reluctantly learns this vessel is the real curse. or: where seduction is a dangerous game, and the King of Curses loses.
pairings: itadori x f!reader, sukuna x f!reader
warnings: subby itadori, sub sukuna (yeah you read that right), light bondage, blindfolds, sukuna’s havin a whole ‘reconsidering life’s meaning’ moment, lotta swear cause u know sukuna things, coming untouched, he faints (yeah you also read that right) and is actually unabashed about it, all things considered
length: 1,432
notes: what? me? obsessed with jjk? that doesn’t sound like me at all! 
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His vessel is in love.
The word curdles in his mouth, tastes like ash. He has never known such a thing. It is part of his nature, he muses absently. Hardened from centuries of death and decay. Of destruction and war. He revels in it. Feels the most alive amongst the chaos.
But that’s the point. Curses can feel. They can have emotional attachment. Can’t you see? In so many ways, they’re not so different from us. He thinks you’re too loud. Your thoughts and beliefs are too loud. They’re also pointless and naïve, and he likes to pop by just to drive it home.
Hello, Sukuna. Where is the fear? Where is the resentment, the anger? The disgust? He enjoys it. But you—you just sit there and coax him into conversation like he’s another one of your classmates. Like he can’t crush your windpipe with a single flick of his hand. Like he isn’t the slow bleed of a death sentence for your lover. Like he isn’t anything at all. Like his titles and powers are stripped. What is he beyond it all? Who is he?
You ask about him sometimes. He rarely gives any indication he’s listening, but he does. Of course he does. There’s not much to do, bound and locked in this pink-haired boy. He lounges on this throne and watches his vessel pine and blush.
Sukuna watches his vessel fuck his fist and mewl your name every night.
It’s sad. “Brat,” he hisses. “Grow some balls. This is just pathetic.”
Itadori swallows. “Oh. Can you—?”
Sukuna shoves him off the ledge. A faint yelp travels, followed by a large splash. “Fuck her already. All this sitting and plotting is making my ass itch. If you won’t, I will.”
“You wouldn’t.” Sukuna tilts his head to peer down. Itadori’s eyes are narrowed, uncharacteristically solemn.
His lips bare into a slow grin. “Try me.”
Itadori blinks once. And then vanishes.
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.
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Fuck. It’s the only coherent thought his muddled mind can pierce together. He gazes down at his palm, opening and closing languidly. His vision is blurry, spine tingling. He raises the other hand, reaching for his palm.
Mmm. He shakes his head firmly. The sharp tinge of metallic and iron coating his tongue clears the fog a little. The pain fades quickly, muted from his years of conquest and ruin.
Every nerve is on fire. His skin, this flesh cage, burns, an unfamiliar heat curling in his lower stomach. Sukuna is no stranger to the pleasures of the flesh—is well-acquainted, spent much of the centuries indulging in his vast harems. In the haze of blood and carnage, there is the memory of writhing bodies, of soft thighs and breasts, of glazed eyes and cries of his name. Of women fucked into wanton abandon, bred and lost in the worship of his cock.
But this. This heat is foreign in every sense. In its strange intensity and all-encompassing hold. All his senses are heightened but laser focused on the other pair of hands mapping his body. On the addicting sensations they’re inducing.
Can you—? Yes. Yes, he fucking can. He can feel everything and he wants to wrap his hand around your throat and squeeze.
His eyes roll back. Ngh.
“Fucking wench,” he snarls. You’re a fuckin’ tease and if you edge him again, he is going to murder—
“Ah, ah. Watch your language, Sukuna. Ask nicely.”
He jolts. Finds his eyes cloaked in darkness, arms tied to his back and legs spread. Bare, save for a pair of briefs that’s slick and restricting. Kneeling. The sheets bunch beneath him. Every muscle in his body is tensed, body coated in a thin layer of sweat.
This position—!
“That brat—mmph!” Is that a fucking—gag? Did you just gag him? He struggles harder against the binds, but he feels your lips curl into a smile where you’re suckling against the column of his neck.
“You’re powerless here. The binds will restrict you for the next twenty-four hours … unless you can be good.” You trace the thick knots, smiling only growing at the way he lets out a muffled growl.
Every fucking sense is heightened tenfold. He’s on firefirefire. The flames consuming him inside out, like he’s being exorcised from within.  
It’s humiliating. It’s exhilarating. It feels—
“King of Curses. I want you to beg.” You’re a witch. You’re enthralling. Temptation incarnate. His head falls forward, chest heaving.
“Mmmmf!”
“What a dirty mouth,” you murmur, and his struggling is renewed when he feels your fingers dig into his thighs.
Oi, brat, he growls. What the hell is this?
His vessel is silent, but the back of his mind prickles. He’s watching. That freaky little shit.
“So stubborn. Let go. You’re good at that, aren’t you?” Fuckfuckfuck, you’re palming his cock over the thin fabric. Maybe it’s been a while, maybe there’s a little more truth lurking beneath it, but he vaguely notes he’s never been so hard before.
You—! You’re fuckin’ burning his briefs off. Ash tickles his nose. A small part of him thinks it’s hot. His cock throbs, and even without visual confirmation, he knows you’ve paused at the sheer size. His mouth curls into a lopsided smirk, dark pride making his chest swell. What was he so worked up for? You’ll just end being another one of his breeding bitches, fucked stupid by his thick, long cock.
But then you pinch his left nipple, twisting harshly. Electricity courses through him and a sound he’s never heard in his absurdly long life escape his lips, muffled by the gag. His back arcs, head hitting the mattress beneath him.
His mind blanks, eyes rolling back as white noise fills his ears.
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.
.
He rouses slowly.
He blinks lethargically at the ceiling, gaze unfocused. Everything feels muted, limbs heavy like he’s swimming in a pool of ink. But he’s not restrained anymore. There’s a blur of movement in the corner of his eye.
He turns his head to peer at you, half-lidded.
“That’s a very nice expression,” you chuckle, moving to sit by his side. The mattress dips lightly. He lifts a hand to tug at the hem of your outfit, expression twisting at the staggering movement.
“That’s a very nice look on you,” he murmurs in response. You’re wearing one of his vessel’s dress shirts, the oversized fabric falling mid-thigh. It simultaneously swallows you and presses against your curves. Something inside him stirs. His throat feels shot, even though he knows he hasn’t had much of a chance to speak.
You help him sit up, propped against the headrest, before offering him a glass of water. His lips lift into a half-smirk and you sigh, shaking your head but acquiescing. You take a mouthful before kissing him. Water dribbles down his chin.
You wipe it away with a half-fond, half-exasperated expression. His chest tightens.
“How long—?” He tries to move, but you stop him with a firm hand. He’s conflicted at the way his body responds immediately to the touch. His temperature flares despite his obvious fatigue.
“A few hours. I asked if Yuuji would keep you out until you woke.”
There’s a pause, and the knowing look in your eye tells him you know he’s mulling it over.
And then—
He reaches for you, and you set the glass aside to climb on his lap.
He bares his fangs. “Then let’s make the most of it.”
As you press him into the bed, tongue stroking his in such a manner his brain is starting to haze over again quickly, he thinks, brat, we’re going to have a long talk after this.
Sukuna doesn’t expect an answer after his vessel’s continued vigil, so he starts when Itadori replies, she’s ours.
I don’t share, he slurs. He thinks he sees a flicker of Itadori’s grin.
You’re going to have to. Because you like her, too. And she’s the one in control, not either of us.
Dimly, Sukuna acknowledges he’s right. You might be the one bouncing on his cock, but he’s not the one fucking you, you’re the one fucking him.
Fine, he gasps as you run your nails down his abdomen. Deal.
Good, his vessel says. Because I’m next, and you better not get in the way.
He growls, eyebrows knitting.
Your smile only grows.
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retroaria · 3 years
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Sapnap: Fluff Alphabet
cc!Sapnap x reader
pronouns: gender neutral
warnings: just swearing
here’s my 500 Follower Event ^o^
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A is for Affection (How do they like to show affection?)
sapnap would give you so many compliments omg. he loves making you all smiley and blushy :) he just wants to make sure that you are always aware of the fact that he thinks you’re the most perfect thing to ever exist
B is for Bond (What kind of bond do you guys have? What could your relationship be labeled as?)
the best friend couple!!! sapnap tells you literally everything. any drama going on or any strong emotions he’s feeling, you know about it. most of the time, the second something happens his brain immediately goes “omg i have to tell y/n”. you guys always complain about the same things and get excited over the same things. you are genuinely one of the most important people in his life and he doesn’t know how he’d do it without you.
C is for Comfort (How do they comfort their s/o?)
he will literally drop everything just to hold you and not speak for like hours if you so needed. he strikes me as a naturally comforting person to the people he really cares about so I say he gets an A+ in this department
D is for Dates (What are dates with them like?)
dates with sapnap are either really chill or super fun. he’s the type of guy that would take you to play laser tag or to an arcade or a trampoline park. he’s like a little kid i love sapnap :3
E is for Emotions (How do they express their emotions around you?)
he’s a pretty expressive person when it comes to certain things. at the very least he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve a little so it isn’t hard to tell even if he does try hiding stuff. and like I said he tells you everything.
F is for Fiancé (How long into the relationship before they propose?)
I feel like he’s so young and he really just wouldn’t be thinking about that too seriously for awhile. like he loves you and you guys have talked about having a future together but he isn’t in any rush at all. hell just do it when he feels is the right time not matter how long it takes.
G is for Gentle (Are they gentle?)
it depends on the situation. he’s definitely the type of guy to pick you up from a super comfy position and just body slam you on the bed. but if he can tell you’re not in the mood to play around like that he’ll just sit down and hold you, so yeah he can be gentle. but most of the time be prepared for playful fist fights and getting picked up and thrown every now and then lol.
H is for Hand Holding (How do they like hand holding?)
sapnap always holds your hand. in fact he makes an effort to search for it whenever you aren’t holding hands. and sometimes he’ll even get whiny about it especially with like a lot of people around he’ll be like, “babe, why aren’t you holding my hand :( what if I get lost how are you gonna find me this place is big”
I is for I Love You (Who said “I love you” first?)
he did !! the first time sapnap said “I love you” was probably one of his most confident moments. he was so proud to be able to say it and so sure of himself and his feelings for you.
J is Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
YES OH MY GOD. he gets super jealous and it’s so easy to tell omg. his attitude starts to get like super bad and he is very clearly annoyed by the situation. he won’t ever be too overbearing about it and if you ever feel like he is once you sit him down and explain that he’ll back off a bit. but he’s still gonna be bothered by it so just always remind him that he love him and no one else.
K is for Kiss (What’s kissing them like?)
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM ACTUALLY GOING TO BE DESCRIPTIVE SO IM SORRY IF ITS CRINGE. anyways, he’d be a pretty deep kisser but not like full on making out every single time. he just likes to make them last and he isn’t one to just give you random kisses all throughout the day so it always feels special. kissing him makes you feel all warm and happy inside.
L is for Love Language (What’s their love language?)
sapnaps love language is quality time or acts of service!! i’d say mainly quality time. even while long distance he just likes having you on call while he does stuff or even just complaining to you about how tired he is while actively not going to bed so he can keep talking to you lol. he just likes having you around it’s a huge comfort for him. i say acts of service because he would get so giddy and happy anytime you did something special for him. he would show it off and brag about it forever and it would genuinely mean so much to him aahhajdxh i love sapnap
M is for Memories (Their favourite memory with their s/o?)
For your first time seeing each other irl, sapnap flew to where you live and you guys spent a whole week together. his favorite memories are definitely from that first week of seeing each other in person. of course you guys already had an amazing relationship while long distance, but there’s something so different about finally meeting the person you’re with in real life. it felt like he had to start over from scratch and you guys had to get to know each other all over again. also the idea of now having to build a physical bond. it was just such an amazing and beautiful experience. definitely the one that made him realize he really is in love with you.
N is for Nicknames (Their favourite nicknames given and received?)
IM SO BAD AT THINKING OF CUTE NAMES USHSJDH. probably just babe tho lol. for fem!readers, i can totally picture him using princess in a slightly sarcastic tone.
O is for Open (At what point do they start opening up to you about their life and feelings?)
mmm i’d say he actually starts opening up to you pretty early into the relationship. If you guys were like really close friends before hand he’s definitely already opened up to you. He doesn’t really have that many people in his life that he doesn’t trust.
P is for PDA (Are they into PDA?)
not really but he isn’t like super shy about it if that makes sense ??? like he’s 100% fine with hand holding, hugging, and light pecks when saying hello or goodbye.
Q is for Quiz (How much do they remember about you?)
I don’t think he really tries to remember stuff but he just does and he’s always making connections to you and things he sees and stuff it’s so cute :)
R is for Romantic (How romantic are they?)
he tries but he isn’t exactly the most romantic boy. like I said before you guys have a best friend type of connection so when it comes to romance he doesn’t go too above and beyond because he just doesn’t feel like he needs to. but on special occasions he will do something nice for you. He likes taking you out places !!
S is for Security (How protective/possessive are they?)
very much of both. once again, total sapnap vibes. i’d say he’s a lot more possessive than protective. he would never stop you from doing things like going out without him and having guy friends or making flirty jokes. he trusts you so much partly cus he’s a little narcissistic LMAO. but when a serious threat comes about he can get kinda crazy.
T is for Try (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)
GAAAAAA HE PUTS SO MUCH EFFORT IN!! you would probably be like his first ever serious partner so he would try his best at literally everything. in the beginning of the relationship you could totally tell how nervous he was at times but as you guys got more comfortable he just became an effortlessly amazing bf
U is for Uphold (How do they show you they’re proud? What kind of support do they give you?)
he talks about you so muchjahsjxjxh mostly to dream and george or on stream and he brags about you too. he can get pretty cocky about it but his friends can’t get mad because it’s literally adorable how whipped he is.
V is for Vaunt (Do they like to show off?)
YES OF COURSE !!! it’s sapnap guys…come on. literally any little accomplishment you make is turned into a way bigger deal than it should be because of him. he’s so proud of for literally just existing and he talks about all the cool stuff you’ve done all the time
W is for Wild Card (A random fluff headcanon.)
you guys really like going to different food places and eating different items compared to other places. THIS IS SO RANDOM LMAOO but like…sapnap would definitely have fun doing that
X is for X-ray (How well can they read you and your emotions/feelings?)
mmm he can usually tell if you’re acting strange or being distant. he cant always figure out exactly what’s wrong but he knows it’s something and he would confront you about it like almost immediately or whenever he thought would be a good time for you
Y is for Yearning (How much do they miss their s/o when they’re gone?)
he literally talks about you non stop when you’re apart. and when you guys are on the phone he comes up with all these plans for you guys to do when you see each other again and he always wants you to join vc on his streams if you can. in conclusion he misses you like crazy
Z is for Zebra (What kind of pet would they want with their s/o?)
A CAT!! or like a bearded dragon lol.
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IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS HAGSKDHD
school is literally kicking my ass so hard man 😔
i’m gonna try to write more, working on a karlnap weed fic rn too LMAO
I’m taking a major creative writing class rn so between writing for school and writing for tumblr i am so drained but i promise i’ll get back into the swing of things soon :)
love you guys, thank you for everything and stay safe <333
@crackityy @fantasy-innit @joyfullymulti @k-l-a-w-s
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thomcantsleep · 3 years
Text
The Cheat Codes for Being a Fiction Writer (Some Of Them)
I’ve recently finished my Master’s course for Creative Writing. In fact, I handed in my dissertation at the start of the month, sealing off the educational period of my life possibly for good. I can’t say I learned a lot about being a writer but what I will say is that you pick up a great deal of extremely useful tidbits. The artistic university experience is food for thought and not sustenance for the starved. You’ll be plodding along for a few weeks and thinking that what you’re doing is a waste of time and then, suddenly, you’ll be presented with something that could massage your brains in a way that you weren’t expecting. It might be an experimental poem with a bizarre format or it could be an entirely new form of writing that you’d never heard of before.
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Casper David Friedrich - “The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog”
The one thing you won’t find at university (from my experience) is how to actually do the writing bit. There is a lot of debate about whether or not you can even teach it as a subject at all which is an argument you’ll probably never hear the end of. I certainly won’t be able to teach you either but, like music theory, there’s some pathways to the craft that open your brain a lot more to the process.
1. Less is More.
Sounds like a pretty old adage but it’s one of the most useful attitudes when it comes to what is called a “writing economy”. You have to be economical. Any artist in any avenue will sympathize with the compulsion to always add more to a piece of work when you should be taking more out. If you can get the same feelings out in less words, than do so. One of Matt Groening’s directing philosophies behind The Simpsons is being as funny as possible in as little words as possible - even if that means no words at all.
Obviously, there’s a limit to this philosophy that you’ll quickly get to grips with. It’s like changing gears in a car. You have to know when is the write time for what. Read it out to yourself. Is it too long? Are you running out of breath before the end of the sentence? The economy and quickness is also relative to the mood of the piece.
2. “Places need you to go to them“
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Credit: u/dienaked
Setting can be easy to overlook if the centrepoint of whatever you’re writing about isn’t the setting. The place exists in your head but you need to let the reader go there and feel what you feel. Use the senses. Think about the possible small fixtures of the room and what they would add if you let the reader in. Like the last point, there isn’t a need to be meticulous because you have to allow the reader’s imagination to imagine.
If you’re thinking about an entire town, my go-to would be Derry in Stephen King’s IT. As you can see from the fanart (u/dienaked on r/stephenking) is that the world is so richly drawn that one is able to produce a map like this at all. I would recommend the book and the latest movie to take notes on how Stephen King makes more than just a backdrop.
3. Understand You’ll Make Mistakes.
An important lesson about making art is that failure is part of the process. Whilst I include the grim acceptance that you don’t have the Midas touch, I specifically mean that it takes a while to get it right. I forget about the first two points sometimes and get swept up in the hotbed of my own brain. It’s easily done. It actually took a few years of me being told those two things to fully get my head around what they properly mean.
I've probably made some mistakes in this very post.
You aren’t God’s gift to the medium; without fault and above judgement. I’ll pack into this point that it does help to get your work read by someone who will be honest with you. It doesn’t have to be a writing professional but someone who reads a moderate amount. Ask them for specific things you want feedback on like story, structure, form and themes.
4. Be Obsessed With Your Characters.
You have time. You don’t have to but it does help to get to know your characters as much as you can. What is their favourite food? Where were they born? What was their childhood like? It helps because it makes dialogue a whole lot easier to write and how they behave come off a lot more natural in your writing. You won’t find yourself arriving at a point where you would be asking yourself: What would they be like in this situation? How would they react?
I say again that you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It is especially useful if you’re constructing a fantasy or sci-fi world or any kind of series.
5. You Actually Have to Read Books.
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Joseph Heller - Catch 22
Yes. I’m sorry but you could really do with reading books fairly regularly. You can’t really get away with not doing it. I thought for the longest time that the books that I had read up to my point in university would be enough to carry me because I’m incredibly influenced by all of them. You get it into your head that you’ll be compared to all the great writers as unfavourably as possible but it just isn’t true.
I have even said to myself that I’ll just end up subconsciously “copying” whatever I’ve read which isn’t really true either. Essentially, if you’re a creative person, anything you will ever do will have some connection to something that you’ve absorbed previously. You can tell yourself that isn’t the case or come up with any excuse not to read. But you really should. Just pick up a book before bed and do half an hour, twenty minutes.
This is all aside from the other obvious benefits of reading.
6. Each Chapter is a Short Story.
Taking this philosophy in your structure will make writing a novel a whole lot easier. Plan out each chapter like a short story. Work out what the conclusion is and what will be the crux of the chapter. It will ease you into the habit of planning generally because you have to plan to some extent.
You’ll also find from taking this advice, you’ll be taking the entire process one step at a time and it could help those who feel bogged down by a project.
7. Be Ruthless.
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The editing process is nearly more than half the writing process and you have to be ruthless with what you cut out. There will be times where you come up with something incredible. Your brain will come up with the goods unexpectedly but you have to pause for a moment and question if it really works with what you’re aiming for. If it isn’t then you have to be brave enough to delete it. Nothing stopping you from saving it for later though.
“When your story is ready for rewrite, cut it to the bone. Get rid of every ounce of excess fat. This is going to hurt; revising a story down to the bare essentials is always a little like murdering children, but it must be done.” —Stephen King
This also counts for any of the building blocks in your story. If something doesn’t work, you have to be prepared for the possibility of scrapping the lot. You can afford to let the cards collapse.
8. Do What You Like
This is the best one. The greatest thing about being an artist is that you can do what you like and go about it however you want. You are in control of your process and there are so many different methods to get your engine running. I implore that you experiment with all the incentives and prompts that you’ll easily find on the internet for free. Try stuff out and see what works. Personally, my favourite thing to do whilst writing is listening to music or ambience. There are thousands of playlists on Spotify that are specifically for writing/studying/whatever so why not give that a bash. On YouTube, you will not be able to get enough of 10-hour ambient noises that folk have made.
There will be always something that suits your mood and way of working. You just have to find it. Read how other writers go about their process because it won’t be a secret.
My final tip would be that you’re always learning all the time. I’m still learning how to do this Tumblr thing and how to put these kinds of articles together. Your job is to allow the information that you’re taking in to stick to you and put it to use.
Some Books I Would Recommend:
Jeff Vandermeer - Wonderbook
Stephen King - On Writing
Joseph Heller - Catch 22
Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse Five
Khaled Hosseini - The Kite Runner
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heyheyloki · 3 years
Text
U&I
Summary: The reader begins to realize his feelings for Saiki.
Saiki x M!Reader
Word Count: 8711
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1. The Best Friends
Being friends with a psychic definitely had its ups and downs. At first, you didn’t notice a thing out of the ordinary with Saiki, well, granted you were kids when the both of you met so naturally you just wanted to be friends and thought nothing more. However, he noticed something odd with you the moment you two met.
He couldn’t read your mind.
Actually forget being about to read your mind, none of his psychic abilities worked on you. He couldn’t see through you and when he touched you without his super thin transparent gloves on nothing happened. You were basically immune to him.
At first, he thought something was wrong with you, or that maybe you had some psychic powers as well. That wasn’t the case at all. In reality, you were a normal human without any powers or tricks. That stumped Saiki even more, but it also became the soul reason he wanted to be your friend as well.
For one, he didn’t have to deal with your thoughts. Two, his image of you wasn’t ruined because he can’t see under your skin. Three, your calmer personality made him relax. And of course all those other things like your kindness and stuff, but those were irrelevant the moment he knew he couldn’t read your mind.
It’s been years since he met you in the park during recess, and now here you guys were, 16 years later and still friends. Oh, there was one thing that bothered him about you.
“What to hang out today?” You asked as you slung your bag over your shoulder.
“Sure.” Saiki said. Yep. That’s right, since he can’t get in your mind, he actually has to move his mouth when he talks to you.
It was a bit weird to others that he never did it with anyone else other than you, but he didn’t care.
On the way home he couldn’t help but notice you eyeing his antennas, the things that keep his powers stable. He turned his head towards you and gave you a curiosity look.
“Do those things poke at your head at all?” You asked, moving you hand up to poke at the top of the pink ball. “Like, does it make your head ichy?”
Saiki shook his head. He knew he had to talk to you at some points, but times like these he didn’t. He enjoyed that about you too, that you don’t force him to talk all the time. You knew it was a bit weird for him to talk, he explained it to you when he told you all about his powers.
“Hm,” you hummed out. Your hands going back at your side and into your pant pockets. “It would for me, if I was you. They just look painful, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do if you don’t wanna blow up the world.”
Saiki nodded his head, his eyes continuing to linger on you. It was one days like these when he saw you thinking so hard about something that he wished he could just take a peak. At some points, he loved the silence, especially when the both of you were watching movies, but right now, especially in this moment, he’d give anything to know. It was mostly prominent when he’d stare at you during class and you’d have this far out look in your orbs, you drew him in, and perhaps that’s why he fell for you.
Though, there were other factors that won his favor. Mostly the fact that, unlike everyone else, he can’t stare right through you and just see your raw muscles and pumping organs. Instead, he was able to focus on your handsome face and not get side tracked about your racing thoughts. You were the only person in the world that make him feel somewhat normal. That was a love-hate relationship at times.
“Think I could sleep over tonight?” You suddenly asked, “we don’t have school tomorrow.”
Saiki stared at you for a moment just to relish in that fact that nothing worked on you. No telekinesis, mind control, no nothing. He was going to have to win your favor just like everyone else. To him, it wasn’t normal, but looking at you, he didn’t seem to mind the extra work.
“Sure,” Saiki said. He still had trouble talking aloud, hell, sometimes he will actually use telekinesis and wait for your response only to have pure silence. “My parents are leaving for a wedding, so the house should be free for a while.”
When the two of you got to Saiki’s house, it was a bit peaceful until his parents had to head out. You liked his mom and dad a lot, they were like your second family, so you wanted to wish them a good time. It was for one Saiki’s dad’s coworkers.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” Saiki’s dad asked his son. “You’ve met Kirishima before, and you can bring [Name] as your plus one date.”
You knew Saiki wasn’t going to be interested in a wedding. He always told you normal happy events for others is misery for him since he can hear the jealousy and pity that the crowd is thinking. You felt sorry that he couldn’t turn it off, but you were glad that you were the only person he could catch a break with. However, when you looking over at Saiki, he seemed to entertain the thought.
It was a new side to Saiki, one that made you confused. It was always either you or no one. You could tell the way he wanted to get away from many of the people in his class that seemed to have declared themselves his friends from a small interaction. Sure, you felt their interest, but it was just a bit sad to you that Saiki could never actually enjoy friends unless they were pure. Otherwise, he could hear all the backstabbing thoughts or otherwise stupid comments that go around in their brain that was thought to be private to them.
“I’m going to have to pass,” you commented. “I don’t have a suit, besides, you two should enjoy the night. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you both go out alone.”
Saiki’s mom smiled widely at you. Her eyes clouding over with a wet film before wrapping her arms around you for a tight hug. “Ah, thank you, [Name]! What would we do without you?”
You chuckled softy at the comment before saying, “Who knows, I rather not think about that.”
When she finally let you go, you and Saiki waved the both of them off as they left. Honestly, you weren’t sure if they’d even make it back at a reasonable time. It was a wedding, after all. Oh well, as long as they make it back drunk and safe rather than drunk and not safe, you didn’t mind. You were sleeping over anyway, so right now, you just wanted to hang out with your childhood best friend.
“What do you wanna do?” You asked with a calming tone.
Saiki turned his head to you. “TV?”
“Sure,” you smiled. However, as soon as you turned to the living room, you noticed the absolute mess his parents left behind. So, out of the goodness of your heart, you said, “How about you find something and all clean up this in the meantime. Sound good?”
Saiki nodded once more. He truly thought your actions were kind, but he rather have you watching TV with him than picking up his dad’s dirty clothes. He knew his father tended to be sloppy, but this was just a mess.
As you were about to pick up a pair of jeans, all the clothes that were strewn about the floor suddenly started to float in the air and shoot into the open washing machine. The trash floated itself into the garage while everything else was moved around to make it look clean until otherwise.
You pressed your lips together as your brows furrowed in annoyance. Once you turned to Saiki and saw his innocence face, you knew you couldn’t be angry but you had to ask, “Do you really want me to watch TV with you that bad?”
“Yes,” Saiki stated.
You sighed, your lips parting as you left the oxygen leave your lungs. “Fine, but let’s both clean up a bit before than. It’ll be a nice surprise and a way to thank your parents for letting me stay the night.”
Saiki nodded. “Okay.”
It took a bit of convincing on your end to let him let you help out. You may not have powers, but you didn’t want to take advantage of his. You knew it was effortless and he made it seem like it didn’t affect him whatsoever, but you knew every time he does something it takes a toll. His powers aren’t perfect.
You both ended up cleaning the living room, Saiki’s room, and now you were in the kitchen sorting the trash. Saiki was using his powers to sort while you whipped down the countertops.
“Good grief,” Saiki said aloud, his voice drawing your eyes to him. He was crouched down with two bags in front of him and the garage floating upside down, it’s contents was either going in the first or second bag.
“What?” You asked curiosity. It wasn’t all the time that he speaks from his mouth without you talking first.
“How could anyone have let it get this dirty in here?” He asked aloud. “I mean, really it’s a wonder we don’t have bugs.”
You were going to respond. That was until he suddenly shut his mouth, a chest deep grunt leaving him as you notice him stare at something on the furniture next to him.
It was a cockroach.
Mind you, the moment you realized what it was you weren’t the least bit surprised when he suddenly teleported. Saiki hates bugs. He could read the minds of humans, as well as animals, but he couldn’t with bugs. He thought they were small minded icky things. Hell, he couldn’t even let his powers touch the thing.
You counted down the seconds before he came back. It was around ten, maybe fifteen. He also teleported right behind you.
“Welcome back,” you greeted and watched as his eyes dart towards the floor.
“Sorry, I may have overreacted.” He muttered. “I just hate them.”
“I know,” you hummed out before looking around and grabbing a cup and piece of paper. Saiki watched you as you let the roach crawl on the piece of paper before placing the cup over it so it didn’t run away. You were quick to put it outside and close the window after so Saiki didn’t worry about it coming back in.
“All gone,” you cheered with a smile. “Now, let’s watch TV, ya?”
2. Saiki’s Pushy Friends
PK Academy was a school were many different personalities and people collided. It was always fun to meet new people in this school, yet on the other side of the coin, sometimes they were more than a little odd. Not like you can speak, your best friend was a psychic. Though, he wasn’t delusional like this one guy in your class that declared himself Saiki’s friend. His name was Kaido. He thinks he has powers and has an evil organization following him around.
Then, you have Nendou. Basically, he’s stupid. Not that you minded, but sometimes being stupid isn’t the best thing in the world, especially now.
It was the sports festival at PK and Saiki and you had to participate in it. You both were on the same team since all the teams were decided by class. This also gave you a good idea of the friends Saiki has made. It was safe to say that Kaido was growing on you. You felt a little bad for the guy, what can you say.
Let’s not forget about Hairo as well. You knew him a bit more from hearsay than the others, plus he was class rep. Though, you had to say, he was a little too overly enthusiastic.
It was kind of a surprise to see Teruhashi, the most popular girl in school, try and interact with Saiki. Though, it was a bit amusing since to him, she’s nothing more than walking muscle. However, you did think he would swoon over her like all the other guys in your school if she was like you. However, you knew Saiki had no interest in romance so you don’t care either way.
Finally, Nendou. You were originally going to say that you didn’t mind the guy that much and thought maybe he would be a good thing for Saiki. However, after just watching him take out one of the antennas from Saiki’s head, you started to wonder how much of a danger his stupidity is to Saiki.
You watched that pink haired friend of yours collapse to the ground with a hard thud as soon as Nendou pull the thing out of his head. You were quick to rush over to him and sit by his side. When you flipped him over, since he fell face forward, worry grew about your body and infected your bloodstream.
You heard protests about turning him over, but at this point all the worried voices drowned before they were even audible to you. His lips were parted as drool leaked from his mouth and went down his chin, his eyes dead and without life as darkness surrounded them. It didn’t take you long to recover and swipe the antenna Nendou was holding and pop it back in its rightful place in his pink locks.
You didn’t know how long it would take for him to wake up, or if he’d wake up at all. All you knew was to sit and wait for him to wake up. To your surprise, he woke up rather quickly. Maybe a mere minute or so after you fixed him up. When his eyes opened, you felt yourself suddenly get surrounded as Saiki’s friends crowed over him to ask how he was.
You noticed him using telepathy to talk to everyone when Hairo said, “You passed out after Nendou took that think out of your head, lucky for you, [Name] put it back right away!”
“Yeah, he saved your life!” Kaido spit out next, their hands placing on my shoulder out of respect and gratitude. 
Saiki’s eye then direct to you, his voice never leaving his lips for a moment before you noticed him flinch.
‘Ah,’ you thought. ‘He tried to use telepathy with me again.’
When he noticed, Saiki just nodded in your direction. You knew he was thanking you, he didn’t need to word it out to you. The look in his eyes was enough.
Lunch came immediately after Saiki ended up waking up, and it was understatement to say he didn’t want to be bother with anyone else besides you. He was quick to drag you to the roof of the school to eat.
The both of you sat against the railing, lunch in your laps. You wanted I just forget about the scare that Saiki gave you, but the after effects he was having wasn’t making that easy. He was having trouble, and it was easy to see when his hands were shaking so much that he couldn’t even pick up his food without it falling back in the box.
You side eyed him, his expression one of concentration as he tried to pick up his food again. Though, he dropped it again.
He sighed quickly after that, only looking down at his food as you saw his mind wonder off.
Once you finished chewing whatever food you had in your mouth, you placed your food to the side and moved so that you weren’t side to side, but rather across from Saiki’s body now. He didn’t register your movements until he saw a hand come into his view and pick up an item of food with his chopsticks.
When he turned to you, you had the chopsticks in your dominant hand and your other under the food so it didn’t drop to the filthy ground.
“C’mon, lemme help,” you said. It was easy for Saiki to pick up the worry in your tone, however he knew not to address it or else you’ll just either deny it or baby him. “Open up.”
He obeyed your command after a moment, opening his mouth wide enough for you to place his food in his mouth. The hand that was meant to catch the food if it fell made sure Saiki closed his mouth, his fingers placed a bit of pressure under his chin to shut his jaws before slowly trailing away. The food wasn’t nearly as satisfying as the chill that ran down his spine at your lingering touch that crawled on his skin.
“I could hurt you.” He suddenly spit out. It was pained. “Having my antenna taken out messed up my powers.”
You leaned your head to the side, your eyes never falling from his. “Yeah, I kinda figured.”
“You should go.” He stated.
“Why?”
“I just told you.”
You smiled. “Saiki, you could never hurt me.”
He looked at you like you had something stuck in your teeth. “You don’t know that, I may not be able to read your mind, but I don’t know how my other powers react to you.”
You remained quiet for a moment before shuffling your body side by side again, your head falling to rest of Saiki’s shoulder. You felt him flinch at the contact, his muscles even began to tighten just out of fear.
“Yanno,” you started out saying, your hand coming up to play the antenna that you could reach. “It’s odd to me how these things are the only thing keeping you stable.”
“Is it?”
You chuckled and nodded. “Small things like these verses your powers. The thing that gets me is that these things actually win in that fight. Though, I suppose it does complete the look you have.”
“And what look is that?” Saiki asked as he gazed down at you to see your eyes already on him. He could feel his fingers twitch as he watched you say shamelessly, “The cute, mysterious loner type.”
Saiki’s lips parted as he gazed at you. He quickly recomposed himself when he noticed you waiting patiently for him to respond. He sighed before asking, “Mysterious loner? Where’d you get that?”
You laughed before sarcastically questioning, “yep, I wonder where.”
3. Your friends are my friends
You don’t know how you got wrapped into this, but perhaps it’ll allow you to know Saiki’s friends better.
Currently, you were walking with Kaido, Nendou, and Saiki to a good ramen shop Nendou suggested. You were dragged along when Nendou remembered you from the Sports Festival and as Saiki’s friend. They never really got the chance to speak to you since you’re usually out the door as soon as the bell rings, but today they finally caught you.
At some point Teruhashi joined the group, though you feel like she kinda took over since now the boys, except for Saiki and you, were fawning over her. Saiki and you took it upon yourselves to give them all room to talk to her, so you both sorts trailed behind.
It was silent for a while, the only noise was Nendou or Kaido talking to Teruhashi. However, you caught the, “what does that even mean,” that Saiki mumbled under his breath.
“Hm?” You hummed. “What does what mean?”
It was obvious to you he didn’t realize he said that aloud. But he just seemed to be glad that only you heard that.
“Teruhashi wants me to go ‘oh wow’ or something to her.” Saiki revealed. “I don’t even know what that means.”
You kept your gaze on Saiki for a moment. “So, she likes you?”
“I guess,” he muttered. “I think it’s more that I’m the only guy that isn’t kissing her feet.”
You watched Teruhashi interact with Nendou and Kaido. You know that, normally, she wouldn’t take time to hang out with these guys. However, because of her crush on Saiki, she bares with them. In all honesty, she seems a bit perfect. Being able to deal with them just for the person she adores. It’s easy for anyone to do, and not a lot of people would even bother.
“She seems like a good fit for you.” You suddenly uttered out.
When Saiki heard that, he felt his hands twitch. He didn’t like that, not one bit. What irked him the most was that it seemed natural, like you actually meant it. And, of course, he had no way of knowing if those words were genuine or actually forced.
“No way,” Saiki stated coldly. “Never in a million years.”
“Damn, that’s cold, Saiki.” He heard you say, a teasing tone wedged in your voice.
“Why do you keep calling me Saiki, anyway? We aren’t acquaintances.”
“Hm?” You questioned. “I thought you don’t like me calling you by your first name in public?”
Saiki sighed. “Well now I’m telling you I don’t care.”
Saiki knew this way of showing that you were closer to him than anyone would ever be may have been childish on his part, but when he heard his first name come from your lips in front of his other ‘friends’, he felt more than satisfied. 
4. Friendship Can Bring Romance
Being able to rest during class was one of your guilty pleasures. Even if you got called out by your teacher, you didn’t mind. It was better when it was raining outside, the patter of rain when it hit the window made you want to nap.
“Hey,” a voice called out to you. You didn’t listen though, it wasn’t important.
“Hey, [Name],” it called out again. Okay, maybe you should wake up. Then again, sleep. You could always sleep later though.
You fluttered your eyes open as you felt your body being pushed around. When your sight became focused, the blurry figure in front of you showed a blue hair kid. You knew him, but from where?
“Saiki asked me to wake you up, sorry,” he confessed.
Oh, right. That’s Kaido, Saiki’s friend.
“Hm? Where is Kusuo?” You asked in a groggy voice, your hand coming up to wipe your eyes.
“Oh, he went home.” Kaido informed you. “Something just came up, I guess.”
“Alright,” you hummed before the end of your lips pulled upward. “Thank you, Kaido.”
It wasn’t easy for Kaido to wake up the quiet kid. Kaido only met the guy once or twice, and when he was hanging with him, you only stayed close to Saiki. It was kinda odd, but Kaido understood your attachment to the pink haired man. Saiki was Kaido’s first friend, after all, so he knew how awesome the guy was.
Though, he’s never got the chance to speak to you. He knows Saiki never really goes anywhere with you, and somehow you always end up by his side. He just always seemed to miss you when it came to getting the chance to introduce himself so Kaido was pretty glad when you came along the trip to that ramen place, even if it was a dumb and he got distracted by Teruhashi.
Kaido knew you were the closest person to Saiki. He’s pretty sure that not even Nendou is as close to Saiki as you are. And those two are best friends. Kaido didn’t know the extend of how long you two have been friends, but he does know from watching that Saiki has respect for you. So, it was critical that he makes a great impression with you so that he can become closer to Saiki and maybe you as well.
“S-Sure, no problem!” He stuttered, his bandaged hand retracting from your shoulder and holding them up in the air in a surrendered notion.
“Do you live around here at all? I’ll walk you home as a thank you.” You said as you stood from your seat and began to search for your bag.
“What? You don’t have to do that, really, it isn’t necessary!” Kaido spit out quickly, his words jumping all over the place.
“It’s really no trouble at all,” you stated as you put your bag over your shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get going before the rain gets worse.”
The rain eventually stopped when both teens got closer to your house. Kaido’s was further ahead, so he thought it would be better if he just walked you home instead so you didn’t have to walk more than you have to already.
“So, you’ve been friends with Saiki since he was little, huh?” Kaido asked as you explained why Saiki trusts you so much. “That’s pretty awesome! What was he like back then?”
“Pretty much the same.” You answered. “Though he did get more handsome throughout the years, and he used to be kinda sweet. Now, not so much.”
“I see, so you guys have been through it all together.” Kaido replied.
“Basically, though, he did start to worry me a bit since I was his only friend for a really long time,” you confessed. You paused as you looked up at Kaido and gave him a smile, “But I’m glad he finally made a friend like you.”
Kaido could feel his heart beat a million miles an hour just at the words you strung together. He never heard kinder words than those, and he was even more thrilled that he succeeded in making a good impression on Saiki’s childhood friend!
“It’s, uh, n-no problem, really!” Kaido muttered out as his whole face began to fluster, his hands going everywhere.
“Oh,” you hummed out.
“Hm?” Kaido questioned. His nerves going down. “What is it?”
“Did you know you were dragging your scarf the whole time?” You asked curiosity as your hands started to real in the extra fabric.
“What?” He asked out of pure shock. Though, realizing that he doesn’t make a fool out of himself he said, “O-Of course I did! It’s a fashion choice.”
“Not the best one,” you stated as you stepped closer to the blue haired male.
Kaido’s eyes widened as he stated directly into your colored orbs, watching them dance solely for him. It was like getting attention from a loved one, but this attention make him nervous to the point where he thought his face was going to explode with red. Kaido’s lips slowly started to disappear as the scarf started to build up around his shoulders and neck.
“There you go,” you said, “much better. Now your scarf doesn’t get more dirty and you look even better.”
‘Even better? What’s that supposed to mean? Does it.. does it mean he thought I looked good before?!’ Kaido thought.
Kaido let out an awkward laugh as he played with the end of the scarf. “O-Oh, haha, thank you.”
“Sure,” you hummed. “Now let’s get going.”
5. Blessing Turned On Jealousy
What’s that saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? Yeah, that’s it. See, that could apply to this yet at the same time it would go a little different.
More like, the enemy of my best friend is my friend. At least for your situation. You see, walking home with Saiki has now turned into walking home with Saiki, Nendou, and Kaido. Not that you mind, but sometimes you really do wish it was back to when Saiki and you got to spend time alone together. However, being friends with Saiki and then having his friends automatically become your friends may have some perks.
Like now. Bumping into Kaido’s mom was totally accidental. But, in the end it payed off. Why?
Because coffee jelly.
“I know it’s not easy being friends with my son because he’s so shy, but please be patient.” Kaido’s mom announced as she placed the coffee jelly down in front of Saiki and you.
“Please don’t say that mama—I mean—mother.” Kaido pleased, his voice cracking as it got higher with embarrassment.
Overall, the beginning was a very nice. Hell, it was damn near perfect. Although, you just had to snoop around. Well, it was more like exploring Kaido’s room.
Your fingertips brushed along the spines of the many books Kaido had stacked up in his bookcase. It was seriously amazing how many books he had, he even had some original copies of some famous old books.
“This is pretty awesome,” you muttered to yourself before your eyes spotted something that didn’t quite match with the others. In all honesty, you were simply curious. However, curiosity did kill the cat. In your case, more like awakened the Saiki K.
“Hey, Kaido, what is the Jet Black Wings?” You asked aloud as the group sat down eating whatever snacks were about. You would always hear either chewing or at least some conversation, but after that question left your mouth it was dead silent. You felt like you killed something, but when you looked over you noticed Kaido’s face beat red. Seriously, his entire face was as red as a blood moon.
“P-Put that back!” He stuttered out, the blue haired boy suddenly running up to you to snatch the book from your hand.
As he reached for it, you held it higher. Even if he was about the same height or maybe a inch or so taller, you just needed to make him miss his hand from grabbing it.
“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m just curious.” You calmly said. “Is it bad or something?”
“N-No! It’s nothing, uh, bad! Just give me it back!” Kaido begged this time around, his hands trying desperately to grab it from you. Okay, maybe you were being a little mean at this point, but it was kinda fun to tease him.
You began to back up as Kaido trying to nab the book in your hand. “Just explain it!”
“No! Never!” He shouted.
You couldn’t help but laugh a little, though, that was your fatal mistake. Having yourself distracted by your own humor, your mind didn’t take into account the pile of prep books scattered about until it was too late. You quickly lost your voice, as well as your balance before slamming your head hard against the wood floors.
“Woah! You guys okay?” Nendou asked out of genuine concern.
As much as you would have liked to answer him, you were too concerned with the pain pounding into your skull like a jackhammer. Seriously, this is gonna give you one massive headache.
You scrunched your nose as your finally gave effort to open your eyes, though, they permanently remained open when you noticed a face staring down at you, a body on top of yours. You guessed that during the fall Kaido tried to save you, but only got dragged along instead.
“H-Hey, um, are you okay?” He asked under his shaky breath.
You only nodded before trying to avoid his gaze in any possible way. The position you were in didn’t help whatsoever in that department. Instead, you hoped that Kaido would take the hint and get off. That plan wasn’t looking too good cause all that was running through his mind was how you looked under him. Let’s say, the thoughts he had left a distaste in Saiki’s mouth.
Originally, he was just gonna let you handle it, but after hearing Kaido’s perverted thoughts about you, that plan blew up.
Saiki stood up, leaving his coffee jelly half eaten before grabbing Kaido by the back of his shirt and yanking him off of you. Saiki gave some strength into that but not enough to launch him into the bookshelf like he wanted too. He knelt down to come to your level and help you up, your massive headache being noticeable when you held onto the back of your head.
“Damnit, that really hurt,” you muttered to yourself but Saiki heard it clear as day.
It wasn’t long after that he took you home as well as the left over coffee jelly. Saiki advised you to stay home a day just to let the pain die down a bit before going back to school, so, the pink haired boy was all alone today. And all alone to everyone else meant to bother him more than usual.
Teruhashi, Nendou, Hairo. All of them. Though, it was a bit weird that Kaido wasn’t bothering with him today. Not that he was complaining, but he couldn’t pinpoint the answer until he heard Kaido’s thoughts, ‘I need to ask Saiki for permission. They’re best friends, it would be rude if I didn’t ask permission to ask out [Name].’
Never mind. He didn’t need to know that.
It was around lunch time that Kaido walked up to Saiki for the first one, the blush that littered his cheeks made Saiki want to gag for a moment.
“So, uh, Saiki, I have to ask you something.” Kaido uttered out lowly. Clearly, this was nerve wracking for him.
“What is it?” Saiki asked telepathically.
“Well, it’s about [Name], yanno, our [Name]?”
‘What other person has that name?’ Saiki thought. ‘And don’t say our, it’s creepy.’
“You see, I, well, I think I like him and I’d like your blessing to ask him out!” Kaido shouted, his body bowing at an almost 90 degree angle.
Normally, Saiki would just say to do whatever since he could read [Name]’s thoughts and see that he doesn’t like Kaido in that way. However, the one person in the world that Saiki actually wants is immune to his powers. He knew he needed to shut this down fast.
‘No way.’ Saiki responded.
“Thank you so much, Saiki, you won’t—wait—why not?” Kaido asked aloud, his voice getting higher the more he freaked out. He thought this would be easy, he means, it was Saiki. The most chill guy ever actually gave him a hard ‘no’ to asking out his best friend. Kaido shouldn’t be surprised, even though he is.
‘Because I said so,’ Saiki strictly put. He knew it was wrong to say this, who was he to say no to something that isn’t his business. Though, the feeling of relief that he still had a chance was more satisfying in the end.
By the time Saiki got to your house it was basically as soon as school ended. He used teleportation to get here as fast as he could, as well as just appear in your room. He wasn’t expecting you to still be asleep, though, he supposed this wasn’t too bad.
The pink haired male carefully walking up to the bedside of his best friend. It was odd to see your hair going in one direction instead of all over the place like normal, and don’t even get him started on the soft snores that came from your nose. Snoring isn’t usually the most attractive thing in the world, but this light snores from you made him think of the habit as cute.
Now, he would normally wake you up. But, just allowing himself to look at you for a moment longer without any consequences never hurt anybody. Saiki sat himself down on your floor, his eyes keeping to your closed ones as they slowly began to travel down to your lips. He doesn’t know what came over him, but it seriously began to freak him out when he started think about Kaido touching his lips with yours. After the freak out, jealousy was spiraling around in the psychic. He never knew that Kaido, of all people, would actually develop romantic feelings for you. If he did, he would have never allowed the both of you to interact the way you did at his house the other day.
Saiki let out a sigh before standing up once more, his hand came up to your shoulder slowly and began to shake it. It wasn’t long after that your eyes fluttered open and gave him that soft smile that caused his heart to skip a beat.
6. School Trip
The school trip was always the most looked forward to activity in high school. This year it was a three day trip to Okinawa. While you were excited to spend some time at a gorgeous place like Okinawa, Saiki was definitely less excited.
As kids talked with their friends in a group or just at their desks, you were currently sitting on top of Saiki’s desk with the pink haired boy sitting in the chair. This wasn’t something you always do, especially since at times Saiki has pushed you off out of retaliation, but after a moment or two of still being there, you knew he didn’t mind today.
“You excited?” You asked him.
“No. I don’t get the appeal.” He spit out, his eyes closing as he moved his head down. “I could get to Okinawa in three minutes.”
“Kusuo, not everyone is like you.” You explained. “So don’t go getting moody on this trip, I’m not letting you ruin it for me.”
“I won’t, I’m just saying a fact.” He replied.
You were about to continue with things you’re excited to do during the trip before Hairo came around to the both of you with a clip board in hand. He was responsible for dividing rooms.
“Saiki, [Name], did you guys decide on your group for the class trip?” He asked politely. “You should have three boys and three girls in your group.”
Saiki didn’t say anything, instead he just rested his head against your forearm. Perhaps he wanted Hairo to think he fell asleep and leave it to you, or maybe he was actually saying that he didn’t care as long as he was with you. Either way, you smiled at the contact and said to Hairo, “Kusuo and I will be rooming, it doesn’t matter who else is in our group.”
“Okay, great!” Hairo exclaimed as he wrote it down. “Kaido and Nendou are still available so I’ll just place Kaido with your group, and then randomly place you guys with a girls group.”
“Thanks, Hairo,” you hummed out as he walked away to probably inform Kaido about the rooming.
You never minded contact with Saiki, in fact, you sort of enjoyed it. However, seeing him still like this, even with Hario now gone, you worried.
“Hey, Kusuo,” you called out.
No answer.
“Kusuo?” You asked this time. And when he didn’t answer again you unconsciously moved your hand up to his head and moved it back to where you could look him in the eyes. Saiki’s face was still without expression, though, those eyes worried you. He seemed, almost, upset.
“Kusuo?” You asked. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, signaling that nothing was wrong. You knew he was lying.
You tilted your head, some of your hair moving with gravity to expose part of your forehead. “Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.” He said, his voice was steady and yet, that look in his eyes still bothered you.
You knew he wasn’t going to budge but still, just because you’re going to let it go now doesn’t mean that you weren’t about to keep an eye on him.
Throughout the beginning and the first day of the trip, you kept an eye on Saiki. He seemed way more tired than usual, but that didn’t startle you. Instead, it was how he was by your side more often now when Kaido was around. You weren’t an idiot, it was pretty obvious. You didn’t mind Saiki’s attention, but you didn’t want him to think just because you were friends with Kaido that he’d be put second.
“Kusuo, can we talk?” You asked him as the two of you had the room to yourselves. The others were out and about, but the two of you decided on an early night.
“About what?” He asked as he set up his sleeping area.
“Today.” You started out. “You’ve been acting weird around Kaido. Did something happen?”
You watched Saiki carefully, so carefully that you noticed his fingers lightly curl around the blanket. You didn’t want to push him, so instead of pushing him to speak, you allowed yourself to be silent and let him take his time. You don’t remember how many minutes pasted, but you swear it felt like decades.
“Nothing happened.” He informed you. “His thoughts just aren’t for my taste at the moment.”
“His thoughts?” You questioned as you slowly approached Saiki on his blanket until you were right in front of him. “Okay, then, what’s got you all bothered? Let me guess, he’s thinking dirty things, right?”
“Sort of.” He replied.
“I bet it’s about Teruhashi,” you theorized. “Is that why you don’t like it?”
“No, it’s not about Teruhashi.”
“Really? Then who?”
Saiki went quiet once more.
You sighed. Your head moving down to get a glimpse at his face. It wasn’t until you moved your hand over by his, your finger tips brushing with his accidentally to get more stability as you leaned in did you hear him finally confess.
“It was about you.”
To say that you needed a minute to take that in was an understatement. Kaido was a good guy and all, but it was kinda startling to realize he liked guys, as well as girls, since you didn’t suspect that even for a minute with him.
“Seriously?” You asked once more.
Saiki nodded. “He asked me if he could ask you out.”
“And what did you say?”
“No.”
You couldn’t help a smile crawl upon your face with that one. You knew it was a bit hard to read Saiki, especially when it came to you, but you were just beyond happy to hear that.
“Good,” you suddenly shot out. Saiki’s head moving back up in an instant to see your happy features. “I don’t like Kaido like that anyway, saves me from breaking his heart.”
“You don’t?”
“Nope.” You hummed out. You knew this may backfire on you in more ways than one, but right now, you didn’t care. The happiness you felt told you to take a chance and throw out the bait. “I know you can’t read my mind, but I actually do have someone I like.”
Saiki aimlessly stared at you for a moment and took in the words you confessed to him. It was an odd feeling, the rapid beating of his heart, but perhaps this was finally the start of things going his way for once.
On the second day of the trip, everyone went to Emerald Beach. It was one of the many places were people could stare at others and no one would think anything of it. A perverts dream. Though, for Saiki, he just wanted to hang out with you.
“Where’s [Name]?” Kaido asked Nendou as Saiki stood behind the two.
“He said he had to go buy a swimsuit. The one he brought apparently went missing.” Nendou told the blue haired boy.
Now, that want a mistake. Sure, it may have been a dirty trick but Saiki rather die than see you in the swimsuit you brought. After all, you bought a shirt with it. He knew you didn’t take off your shirt often, even at the beach, but he was determined to see you with just a pair of shorts.
Much like how all the guys that crowded around the girls changing house waited patiently to see Teruhashi in a two piece swim suit.
It was a while after Teruhashi came out, and when everyone was in the water that you made your appearance. You had your hands wedged into your swim shirt pockets as you allowed your feet to take in the hot sand that felt magical between your toes. You gazed around for a moment before noticing pink hair sitting under an umbrella.
A devilish smirk crawled on your features as you began to slowly approach the male. This may give Saiki a heart attack, but it was worth it. As you stood over him from behind, you attacked. Your body shot down as your arms wrapped aruund his neck and pushed your chest into his bare back.
“Hey, what’s a cute guy like you doing all alone at a place like this?” You teased, allowing your voice to go on for some time so that he realized it was just you.
Saiki immediately flinched at the contact before noticing it was just you. However, when he noticed the touch of your skin against his, he could feel his entire body heat up. The sensation was new, he’s felt his face go hot before, but his entire body was a new one.
“What took you so long?” Saiki tried to play off.
You just sighed and got a tighter grip on the male, your chest pushing more into his back. “Someone stole my swimsuit. Sadly, I didn’t have enough money to replace the whole thing, so I had to go by some swim shorts.”
“Hm, as least you’re here.” Saiki stated, making sure not to comment on the ‘stolen swimsuit’.
“Yeah,” you uttered as you released Saiki from your grasp and sat down next to him. You gazed out at the beautiful ocean that was filled with laughing people with this loving look in your eyes, all the while not realizing Saiki’s held that same gaze as he stared at you.
When you did turn to him, he completely lost himself in his mind as his eyes wondered about your figure. You weren’t the most fit guy in the world, but you did have these subtle yet enchanting muscle lines along your upper body that made Saiki lose himself.
“I saw that.” You suddenly said. Saiki’s eyes now darting back to yours. “You just checked me out.”
Saiki saw no way out of this one. So, he just confessed it. “So what if I was?”
In all honesty, he just expected you to laugh and tell him that it’s only fair if he does the same. However, the twist was unexpected and, well, definitely appreciated. He watched as you gazed down, this bashful look in your eyes as you did everything to avoid his gaze. Your body language wasn’t helping either. Your fingers were tapping against the towel and the heel of your foot was moving back and forth.
Maybe this trip wasn’t totally for nothing.
7. All That Was A Secret
Spring break. It was one of those weeks that Saiki went to go visit his grandparents all the way in the middle fo nowhere. So, for the most of this break, you were home alone. 
It was kind of boring. This break was definitely not one that you looked forward to, more now then before, especially after the beach during the class trip. Those words always ended up repeating in your mind, way too much then you thought they would. Then again, you shouldn’t be surprised. All those days that you’d try to subtly touch him, tease him, it was just a way to relieve yourself of the pent up emotions you’ve had for him for a few years now. 
Currently, you were in your room upon your bed, hugging one of your pillows close to your chest. You never tried to dwell on if Saiki felt the same or not, but recently, it’s been clawing at you more and more. It wasn’t like you didn’t think you had a chance, but more if Saiki was more comfortable just staying friends. You would understand, even if it would hurt, you’d do it for him. You’d do anything for that guy. 
You sighed before slowly lifting your body off the bed. Today wasn’t a good day for being sad, it was summer break, after all. You knew you had to get your mind off Saiki, and him being away made it a bit easier. So, you grabbed some clothes from your closet and laid them on the bed. You weren’t sure what you were going to do, but you were determined to fine something to take your mind off him. 
You let your pants drop to the ground before taking the ones on your bed and letting your legs slip through each of the pant legs. Next, you stripped your shirt off and took in a deep breath. You paused for a moment before dropping the dirty shirt on the ground and grabbing the new one. In all honestly, you never really pay attention to your surroundings when changing. But, does anyone? It wasn’t until your head went through the hole on the top of the shirt did you realize that the bed in front of you was now missing and the wall you were staring at was not the wall of your bed room. When you turned your head, you locked eyes with Saiki in an unfamiliar room. 
“Huh?” You uttered under your breath before your eyes widened, your face felling hotter than usual before frantically pulling your shirt all the way down. Once down, you opened your mouth and said, “You can’t do that without me knowing! What if I was in the middle of a shower or something and not just changing?”
“I would have given you some of my clothes.” He replied nonchalantly.
You bit the inside of your cheek before crossing your arms over your chest. “Why did you teleport me anyway?”
“I can’t stand it here.” Saiki confessed. Of course, you knew he didn’t exactly enjoying visiting his grandparents but he has never done this before. “Just hang out with me. I’ll send you back after.”
You sighed. You can’t exactly say no after that, so, with that Saiki and you began to watch a movie. It wasn’t one you two watched before so it was easy to get lost in it. Though, it was also easy to focus on Saiki when he suddenly placed his hand on top of yours as you guys watched. You weren’t too sure if he thought you wouldn’t notice, but there was no way you were going to pull away. After all, it’s not like he placed his fingers between yours, if he did that, you don’t know if you could handle it. 
After a half an hour into the movie you finally got the plot of it, and you weren’t amused at all. It was a best friends to lovers troupe. More specifically, childhood friends that drifted apart only to be brought back together by work and now slowly are developing feelings for one another. Let’s just say now, you were a little more than nervous. 
Thank god Saiki couldn’t read your mind, because now, you feel like you’d give him a headache. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he knows and is only doing this to taunt you, or maybe this was all just a big coincident. Yeah, one massive coincident. In reality though, Saiki was just teasing you. He had no idea of your feelings but he wanted to watch the movie with you to implant the idea in his mind of the possibility.
Well, his plan was working. Maybe a little too much. Though, as you were about to spit something out, your eyes suddenly shot down to the floor in embarrassment. Yep, a make out scene. Of course, Saiki had no idea about that, but it was better than just the sappy stuff cause now it was really ingrained in your head. 
Once it was over and you had somewhat of your cool back you couldn’t help it. You needed to ask. If it blew up in flames, then so be it. 
“Hey, Saiki,” you uttered out lowly. Saiki caught it immediately and turned his gaze on you. “I have a.. question.”
“What?” He asked.
“Well,” your voice trailed off as you moved your eyes down to where both of your hands connected. “We’ve been best friends for a long time now but, have you ever, um, thought about doing...that?
Saiki remained quiet for a moment, his thoughts going everywhere before thinking to himself, ‘All the time, actually.’
As much as he wish he could have said that telepathically, he could never try to say that vocally. So, he just opted for a nod and watched your body flinch. The hand he touched growing warm.
“You’re hot.” Saiki suddenly spit out. This time, you brought your hand back to your body so he couldn’t tell anymore. 
“S-So what?” You stuttered out.
To say that Saiki didn’t like this side of you was an understatement. He’s never never seen you so flustered before, and it was really adorable to look at.
“It’s cute.” Saiki commented, his body leaning in just to see your face closer.
You turned your head to the side, eyes darting to the tv just to look away for a moment to compose yourself. You knew that there wasn’t gonna be another perfect moment like this so, you slowly reached over to place your hand on the back of Saiki’s neck. It was warm. When he noticed what you wanted as you started to lean back and gently pull him with you, he complied quickly until he gazed at you from above. Suddenly, he was jealous at the fact that Kaido got to see this view before him. 
He stared at you for a moment before watching you bite down on your bottom lip, his mind doing backflips at the want to read your mind, but also at how good you looked under him. 
“Kiss me.” You whispered under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear. 
“If I do,” Saiki uttered lowly. “I might not be able to stop.”
“That’s okay.”
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softluci · 3 years
Text
aggressive affection, i think
(part two here!)
[ @yourlocalsinnamonroll​ (hi!) sent me an ask to do more gen z headcanons and i started working on something for her, except it isn’t actually a set of headcanons, but rather a really long...one-shot? but anyway, i thought of actual headcanons that i can share now, so i can return to my ROOTS hopefully this will do in the meantime. ]
i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)
but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:
“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,”  “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth.
so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.
lucifer
“blindsided,” does not even begin to describe what you’ve done to this man. while his recovery time was quick, he was still so, so confused. 
all he said was, “you look nice today,” why did you threaten to kiss him? was that even a threat? 
he doesn’t know because you said, “stop before you get kissed on the mouth,” but it doesn’t matter because you failed to consider that he is obsessed with you in dire need of a kiss on the mouth, and you, silly thing that you are, just provided conditions under which he can get one. 
that said, have fun trying to explain to this man that you were joking while he’s holding you against him with the most smug look on his dumb little face. if you don’t wanna kiss him, okay, but by the time he feels like letting you go, your face is gonna be scorching and you will have properly learned not to do that again. unless you enjoyed yourself, in which case—
by the way, if you believe in a higher power, you had better pray he doesn’t do this to you because now that you’ve planted the idea in his villainous little brain, he’s just biding his time. so the next time you compliment him innocently, and he says, “be quiet before i kiss you,” like the monster he is, assert your dominance by kissing him first, it’s the only way to maintain your dignity. 
mammon
why would you do that to him. he is literally in love with you, you can’t be doing this. he knows he’s an attractive person, but you can’t tell him that, and you especially can’t do it by flirting with him, it’s embarrassingly disarming. especially since he was going to make fun of you once he saw that you were looking at the issue of majolish with him on the cover. he had a plan and everything, and you ruined it. he was gonna say something dumb cool, after which you would be embarrassed , and he would laugh. 
but then you looked at him, said, “i’m gonna eat you,” and his entire plan was thwarted. now you have to stand there and watch him struggle to form a sentence while his face gets red. you should take this opportunity to bite him, give him a little nom on the shoulder or something, just to razz him. it’ll be great, i promise. 
luckily, he can’t even think about doing this to you without having to lie down, so you should be safe—unless, of course, he catches both you and himself by surprise. so if you get nommed on, you had it coming. 
levi 
you menace. you absolute villain. you’re laughing. 
levi was about to go into a match he was nervous about, and then you said, “it’s okay, no matter what happens, i will always wanna make out with you,” and then he dropped his controller and blacked out, and you’re laughing. 
you’re terrible. absolutely awful. acquaint yourself with shame while you blow cool air into his face and shake him awake. 
when he does wake up, and he reminds you that he’s the avatar of envy, do nawt be surprised. 
try to explain to him that you were kidding and let it slip that you say these types of things to everyone and you’re getting a tail around your waist. no matter how much he might stutter while he makes his point, the fact remains that he’s the only one you’re allowed to say these things to now. you can do it to the others while he’s not around if you feel so inclined, but he’s going to find out eventually, so good luck explaining yourself while he doesn’t keep his tail still when he uses it to hold you in place. 
your only saving grace here is that he is physically incapable of doing it to you, but, you know. that probably gets overridden by how possessive he’s gonna get.
satan
you’re deranged. or just really confident. or a fool. it doesn’t matter, you fucked up. he said a normal thing, and then you threw him for a loop. 
you were nervous about an exam the next day, he said, “you’re a capable person, you have nothing to be worried about.” 
and then you, evidently forgetting that he is not one of your human friends, said, “flattery will get you made out with,” and tried to walk away. 
first of all, how was that flattery? he was stating a fact. second of all, who said he didn’t wanna make out with you🤨. he never said that, you are making assumptions about him and his character. 
anyway, he has no idea where you think you’re going, but you didn’t make it very far before he caught up to you anyway. 
when he repeats what you said back to you in the form of a question, with that deceptively polite look on his face, know that he is being rhetorical. do not bother trying to explain yourself, it’ll be difficult to do so in a convincing manner while he’s backing you up to the nearest wall. do not be surprised when he takes this opportunity to blindside you with praise, directly into your ear, with that fatally smooth voice of his. and do NAWT be surprised when he pulls back and says, “why am i not being made out with?” with a dumb little smile. it brings him a lot of joy to see you squirm.
you don’t even have a saving grace here. this man is ruthless, he’s gonna do this to you literally whenever he wants, and he won’t even let you look away, let alone run away, so find joy in the monster you have created. 
asmo
listen. unless you are genuinely empty headed, there is absolutely no way you did this on accident. 
he wasn’t even doing anything out of character either, it was the middle of self-care night, he was putting moisturizer on your face for you, and he went, “you’re even cuter up close,” which is a normal, tame thing for him to say.
so unless you just have uncontrollable knee-jerk reactions, no way did you say, “so make out with me then,” to this man, by accident.
you’re lucky he has some knowledge of the fact that you sometimes say things that aren’t smart, so he didn’t just immediately jump on you; however, you are by no means in the Clear. 
you blinked and he was nose to nose with you and basically in your lap. now you have to deal with his wandering hands while you try and explain yourself—that is, if you can even overcome how flustered you are, which you probably can’t. luckily, he knows you probably didn’t mean it, but he’s still asmo, so he takes it upon himself to be respectfully heinous like the gentleman he is.
so when he somehow manages to get even closer to you and says, “honey, you should really get a handle on those impulses of yours, unless you plan on following through,” like the bastard he is, know that from that point forward, whatever happens is on you. 
here is another man with whom you have no saving grace; now that you’ve given him the idea that he can be more explicit with you,,, well.
beel
you’re a heathen. why would you do something like this. well, you know what, maybe you aren’t that much of a heathen, considering that you did bake cookies for him. that was really sweet of you, so he thanked you and complimented your skill, like a regular person.
so why, exactly, did you say, “i only accept thanks in the form of kisses, preferably with tongue,” ? something is genuinely not right with you. 
now you have this man standing there, confused and red in the face. he’s trying to do the math, and nothing is adding up. like, it’s definitely doable, he can definitely do that, but, like, why would you make this request so suddenly?
this is probably the only instance in which you can coherently say, “i was kidding, you don’t actually have to do that,” and it almost doesn’t work. 
you absolutely should not have been leaning against the counter because now he’s standing in front of you, and you have nowhere to run. 
however, the thing about beel is that he is someone who flusters people without meaning to, so he has no idea of the effect that his, “are you sure?” has on you. 
luckily, you’re still mostly coherent because you know that beel isn’t heinous like his brothers, so you manage to tell him that he doesn’t have to kiss you if he doesn’t want to because you were kidding. 
you have every right to be surprised when, all of a sudden, you’re sitting on the counter, and he says, “why do you think i don’t want to?” 
do you have a saving grace with this man? kind of. he would never say what you said or something similar, but the next time he compliments you and you choose to be normal and say, “thank you,” he’s gonna ask if he should kiss you, so try not to collapse.
belphie
now. he isn’t the Worst Person you could’ve done this with. but by god you are out of your mind.
your first mistake was choosing to lie down next to him, not because you had plans to be a menace, but because he is always a menace and has a thing for reminding you, which he can do more easily when you’re in proximity to him. 
so when he said, out of nowhere, “are you ticklish?” you should’ve just rolled away, which wouldn’t have worked, but it would have been less chaotic then saying, “you are legally required to make out with me before you try and find out.” 
you said it so casually that he was almost stunned into staying still, but his recovery time was excellent.
the next thing you knew, you were laying underneath a very smug, very menacing man, who seemed entirely too prepared to listen to what you had to say for once. 
“legally?”
okay, so, maybe you should’ve chosen your words more carefully, but he was seconds away from tickling you, so you didn’t exactly have time to defend yourself. you can never backtrack with belphie anyway, so it makes sense that you went headlong into your claim, telling him that yes, this is, in fact, the law of the land. 
“i was never one to pay attention to the law, but since you’re being so insistent, i guess i don’t really have a choice—”
leave it to him to pretend like you’re a burden as if he isn’t literally head over heels in love with you like everyone else fond of you. bastard. 
there is absolutely nothing to save you from this man. he isn’t tactful enough to wait for an opportunity to do this to you, like satan or lucifer, so expect to be Just Sitting There when he tells you that you’re required to make out with him right this instant—it’s the law. 
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kenbunshokus · 3 years
Text
eggnemies to lovers
nami/vivi, zoro/sanji | 7k words  (best viewed on: ao3)
My (20F) Date (21M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Baratie. submitted 6 months ago by u/throwawaypinwheel
(Or, the one where Sanji is a diner cook, Vivi is their waitress, and Zoro and Nami accidentally became each other’s wingman.)
Zoro glares at his plate as if his omelette has just challenged him to a duel. Nami tries her best to focus on the map she’s working on—this one’s a particularly difficult homework from her Intro to Coastal Navigation class—and pointedly does not look up.
“Holy shit,” Zoro mutters under his breath, poking at the offending egg, “Nami, I swear—”
“We are not having this conversation again—”
“I told you,” Zoro plows on, “that fucking cook is doing this on purpose.”
Nami takes a deep breath. Cartography is a delicate art, and Nami aims to be a professional. She takes her favorite pencil and elegantly traces over the coastline of Cocoyashi Village, poised and collected and calm. She’s not going to take the bait and ruin her map, no matter how much Zoro is sulking over an egg—
She sighs. “Zoro, I’m pretty sure there’s just been some mix-up with the orders.”
Zoro huffs at that, clearly disbelieving. “For the third time this week?”
“This isn’t exactly a five-star establishment,” she points out, and adds, reasonably, calmly, in an attempt to find some semblance of peace, “I doubt the cook of some no-name diner even knows your name.”
The words seem to have brought about the opposite effect, because now there’s a dangerous glint in Zoro’s eyes as he mutters, “well, he’s about to find out,” before standing up and shamelessly yelling, “ OI! COOK! ”
Nami drives the pencil through her map.
+
     r/relationship_advice
My (20F) Date (21M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Baratie. submitted 6 months ago by u/throwawaypinwheel
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  My (20F) Date (21M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Baratie.
submitted 6 months ago by /u/throwawaypinwheel
 I know this sounds really weird, but here it is:
This guy and I have been on a couple of dates. We’d been friends long before we started trying this going out thing, so he isn’t a total stranger to me, and I’ve long known him as a pretty calm guy. Chimes in once a week in the group chat, grunts a lot during conversations, you know — one of those quiet, meditating types. He’s only competitive when it comes to his favorite sport (he’s a professional kendo athlete), but other than that he tends not to care about what other people think about him. I’ve never seen him respond to anyone’s taunts or getting worked up by a stranger’s words.
Except at Baratie.
Any time we’re out he wants to go to this diner called Baratie down in Grand Line. I don’t really care about the food, but the tables there are big enough for me to do work (Maritime Science major here—lots of stationeries and large maps to work with). But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there. Date complained about his eggs one time, because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard. The cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs. When he brought it up again, the cook served him two hardboiled eggs. It was kind of funny to be honest, but my date wasn’t able to laugh it off. When we left, he was in a bad mood.
This is the crazy part: he keeps going back.
In fact, he keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook. It’s almost a ritual at this point. He orders runny eggs, the cook serves him some other version of eggs, and then they beat the shit out of each other. We never eat out at any other places now; it’s just Baratie every fucking week. Sometimes he even goes there without me. 
I’ve tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it’s a matter of principle. I’ve told him to just talk to the manager, but he just waved me off. Apparently that cook hasn’t yet made him the correct runny eggs, but it’s like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my date off.
My question is — this is weird, right? Like, I’m not really concerned about the fighting part — he’s never been physical with me and I never once felt threatened by him — but what’s with the obsession ? They’re just eggs, aren’t they?
Is this indicative of something deeper? Should I reconsider going exclusive with this guy?
 +
 When Nami looks up from her map this time, Zoro has already stalked off to the kitchen. This isn’t new or remarkable in any way, except the fact that he almost ran into one of the waitresses, who immediately clutched her tray against her chest and watched his retreating back warily.
Zoro didn’t even spare her a glance. What a brute. Nami’s going to add to his debt later for that.
“Hey,” Nami calls out towards the waitress, waving at her to come by her table, “I’m sorry, uh…” 
“Vivi,” the waitress fills in with a polite smile.
“Right, Vivi—I’m Nami,” Nami replies, finding herself nervous all of a sudden, because up close like this, holy fuck is the waitress so pretty, with long blue hair and silver-sharp eyes. Nami clears her throat. “Uh, I just want to say sorry about his—his whole deal with your Cook. Zoro—that’s his name—he’s usually really chill, so I don’t know what’s happening here.”
Vivi thankfully chuckles at that, seemingly finding the situation more hilarious than threatening. Good. There’s also something about that laughter that makes Nami feel like she’s fourteen again, full of butterflies and all too small for everything, but she tries not to think too hard about that yet.
“In your friend’s defense,” Vivi says, “Sanji is usually really good with memorizing orders, so he’s totally messing with your friend on purpose.”
As if on cue, the cook’s voice—Sanji’s—rings out from the kitchen. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, MOSSHEAD, I TOLD YOU THE KITCHEN’S OFF LIMITS FOR CUSTOMERS —”
Nami finds herself laughing with Vivi. “You know, it’s actually impressive that Zoro doesn’t get lost on his way to the kitchen anymore.”
Vivi raises her eyebrow. “Nami, the kitchen door is right there.”
“It’s Zoro,” Nami presses, because it’s always fun to see strangers learn about Zoro’s disastrous relationship with directions and maps for the first time. “One time, during our junior high sports festival, he got lost on the running track. For a hundred-meter race .”
That earns her another laugh from Vivi as she takes a seat beside Nami, body leaning forward in curiosity, “really? Is he short-sighted or something? Can’t he just—I don’t know, literally see the finish line?”
“Here’s the thing you need to know about Zoro,” Nami begins, and watching the way Vivi’s soft hair falls over the slope of her shoulder, bright blue and blinding despite the dim lighting of the diner, Nami somehow can’t find it in herself to be mad at Zoro anymore.
 +
 u/salveshine • 492 points  6 months ago
This seems like an obvious question, but I have to ask: have you considered going somewhere else for your dates? Most people don’t go to a diner for dates in the first place.
/u/throwawaypinwheel • 23 points  6 months ago
Well, as I said on the original post, it’s downright an obsession at this point. Asking him to go somewhere else doesn’t solve the problem since he’d just go there on his own on a different day.
Also, the waitress there is nice. She’s been keeping me company throughout this whole thing. She’s a godsend.
 +
 Vivi appears by her table as soon as Zoro disappears into the kitchen.
“Again?” Vivi asks by way of greeting.
“Again,” Nami agrees, scooting to the side of her bench to give Vivi space to sit. “It’s eggs benedict this time. Perfectly poached. I went to this fancy restaurant a few weeks ago, and they didn’t even make it this good.”
Somewhere from what presumably is the kitchen, Zoro’s frustrated voice echoes throughout the whole diner. “Now you’re not even serving me eggs anymore!”
“What are you—“ there is a moment of stunned silence before Sanji‘s reply comes, equally loud, dripped with utter disbelief. “Are you fucking serious? You thought this wasn’t made of—you’ve never seen scotch eggs before?”
“SHUT UP,” Zoro yells back.
Nami cranes her neck out of instinct, wishing to catch a glimpse of the scene from the window behind the counter—she’s never heard Zoro sounding so flustered before—but Vivi’s voice, small and low and far from the confident tone Nami has started to get used to, pulls her attention back.
“I’m sorry.”
It takes another moment before the words fully register in her brain. “Wh—for what?”
“I mean,” Vivi says, twiddling with her fingers as she mumbles, “this is supposed to be your date.”
“My date?” The question already falls out of her mouth before she realizes, oh. Oh. This is supposed to be a date, because her and Zoro are…well. Sometimes she doesn’t even remember that part—they’re certainly not acting the part, considering they’re hanging out with other people during these ‘dates’. Nami understands, rationally, that she should be mad about this; and yet— “It’s fine. I’m not that bothered.”
Vivi blinks. “You’re not?”
“Nah,” Nami says, waving her hand dismissively, feeling as surprised as Vivi looks. “Well, when it comes down to it, it’s still free food, you know? Could’ve been better—no offense, but a family diner isn’t exactly date material—but considering the menu and ingredients you guys have to work with? Sanji’s practically been making feasts fit for royalty here.”
“Well, I still think you deserve to be treated better during a date,” Vivi crosses her arms and—is that a pout on her face? “Don’t you feel a bit lonely?”
“No?” Nami replies, taken aback. That’s literally the furthest thing on her mind, because— “I have you, don’t I?”
Nami feels her face heat up as soon as the words left her mouth, because that sounded way more presumptuous than she intended. She meant to say, I have you to keep me company , like a friend , in a totally friend platonic way. Except they were talking about dates in a decidedly very romantic way and she should totally take it back—
Vivi beams at that, the kind that makes her look like she’s glowing inside her skin, and never mind, Nami’s not taking it back. Nope. She’s never taking it back even if someone’s paying her a million berries to take it back.
Vivi takes Nami’s hand from the table and holds it in both of her own, and Nami’s heart trips in her chest.
“Yeah,” Vivi says, the words sending a low hum under Nami’s ribcage. “Yeah, you have me.”
 +
 /u/mettlemental • 301 points  5 months ago
This is their ritual. Do not interfere.
/u/throwawaypinwheel • 279 points  5 months ago
You know what, I think you have a point. This thing between me and the waitress is also a ritual now, so we’re even.
 +
 “Shishishi!” Luffy laughs, eyes practically sparkling. “Sanji is so cool!”
“No he’s not!” Zoro pinches Luffy by the cheek to try to drag him away from Sanji. “I brought you here to defend me!”
“But Sanji’s the one making me delicious meat right now,” Luffy pouts, seemingly unperturbed by the potential disfigurement of his own face, gaze still rooted on Sanji—or, more specifically, the food Sanji is carrying on a tray. “What can you make, Zoro?”
Sanji lights up his cigarette, expression hidden behind his hands, but his whole body visibly puffs up like a peacock. Nami notices how the tips of his ears have turned red. “Finally, someone with taste.”
Zoro tries to grab the tray away from Sanji’s hand, and Nami watches Vivi masterfully maneuver between the messy cacophony of the trio, placing a tall stack of waffles in front of Chopper.
“This doesn’t make me happy at all!” Chopper says, his words nowhere near convincing, considering he’s saying it with the largest grin Nami has ever seen on a fourteen-year-old. “Did Sanji make this one, too?”
“He did,” Vivi says as she takes a seat beside Nami, as she always does. The table settles into a comfortable silence as Chopper digs into his waffles and Vivi absentmindedly plays with the salt shaker, observing the idiot trio from a distance.
“They sure get along fast,” Nami says as she takes out her cartography tools, and Vivi’s gaze sweeps between Luffy, Chopper, and the maps on the table.
“You’re not even trying to have a date anymore, aren’t you,” she points out.
“Nope,” Nami agrees, gesturing to Chopper with her pencil. “Chopper here wanted to try the waffle for a long time ever since I told him all about Sanji.”
“Please tell Sanji I love it!” Chopper adds around a mouthful of sugar.
“And Luffy’s been really curious about you two anyways.”
One table away, Luffy took the last bite of whatever meal Sanji just served, and dramatically announces, “this one’s better than the last one!”
“You always say that after every plate,” Sanji mumbles, but shoves another plate towards the kid anyways, clearly preening from the praises.
“It wasn’t even that good,” Zoro adds desperately, and scowls when Sanji chooses to watch Luffy eat another serving with the same gusto like he did the first one. “Oi—don’t ignore me, Shit Cook!”
It’s...fascinating. Nami never had a habit of watching Zoro—those activities are reserved for those fangirls in their university who barely know him—but she finds herself unable to look away whenever they’re at the Baratie. Whenever he’s with Sanji, to be precise. The chef seems to have brought out so many different sides of Zoro she’s never seen before in all the years she’s known him, and that’s saying a lot, considering she’s known Zoro for a decade.
Zoro has always been a steady presence in her and Luffy’s life ever since he moved into their neighborhood when she was shy of turning ten; he is strong-willed and loyal and eternally dependable, like a safe place they can always come back to. He can be a little hard to read, quiet and reserved as he is, but these days Nami knows where to look, the telltales hidden in the way he straightens his back and carries himself.
But with Sanji, Zoro is—he’s all those things still, sure. But he’s also— so much more. There’s suddenly this— kid, lively and boyish and so, so easy to read. Open book, heart on his sleeve. He grins and yells and throws his punches, and Sanji would take them in stride and return them as easily. This Zoro pouts when Sanji doesn’t pay him attention, and scowls when he does; and when Sanji makes him laugh, it’s a loud, open thing.
Sometimes it feels as if the Zoro she knew was an impostor all along. As if there was a pale imitation of Roronoa Zoro with a ghost of a smile, and he’d only come alive in the middle of a fucking diner.
And the worst part of it all is—
“You two?” Vivi suddenly mumbles, seemingly to herself. 
Nami tilts her head. “Yeah?”
“You were saying something about Luffy being curious about… us two ,” Vivi says. There’s an odd, pensive look on her face. “Are you talking about Sanji and…”
“You, of course!” Nami cuts in, perplexed.
“You told your friends about me?” Vivi wonders, and it’s baffling. Of course Nami told her friends about Vivi. Sometimes Nami thinks Vivi is all she could talk about. She’s hilarious and smart and a thousand times more interesting to talk about than Sanji and Zoro combined.
That’s a really weird thing to suddenly spring on someone though, so Nami instead says, “Vivi, you’re the best thing about these weekly visits, because that sure as hell isn’t.”
She’s pointing at the dumbass trio; somewhere along the way, Luffy has seemed to fall asleep, and Sanji is smiling at the boy’s sleeping form, looking very pleased with himself. Zoro is fuming behind him, arms crossed and chest puffed, like a child being forced to share his favorite toy.
Vivi laughs at the sight, shaking her head. “Well, boys will be boys.”
The words bury itself uncomfortably in the pit of Nami’s stomach.
Boys will be boys—which is why sometimes (oftentimes, many times, always) Nami thinks she’s much more easily enamored with girls. Nami supposes there is a certain charm in Zoro’s brutish ways, but she’s beginning to learn that it may not be for her—Nami appreciates people who can hold their own in a fistfight, but there is also strength in reigning yourself in despite the circumstances, the way she’s seen Vivi handle difficult customers with a firm tone, graceful and dangerous at the same time.
(What could this mean, then? For her, for them—)
Zoro and Sanji have started fighting animatedly again. Roronoa Zoro, his heart on his sleeve.
And the worst part is that Nami doesn’t even care.
 +
 /u/sorcatarius • 334 points  4 months ago
I usually appreciate it when OP updates their posts with recent developments because I’m one of those people who get easily invested in a stranger’s life story, but is it just me or do all of these updates seem irrelevant? Most of them are about the waitress. I feel like I’m learning nothing about the actual date here. Who’s dating who again?
/u/NeonRain15• 137 points  4 months ago
OP is clearly a troll lol.
 +
 They are sitting at a corner table in front of the door to the kitchen, because Franky and Robin aren’t even pretending they’re here for the food instead of a show. Usopp told them he would rather ‘see where the danger is coming from ’, but Nami suspects the real reason is something closer to morbid curiosity.
Nami doesn’t fault them. It certainly is hard to look away from what those two clowns are currently doing: Zoro is waving a spatula and a frying pan like he would his kendo swords, clearly breaking several kitchen-related OSHA rules in the process; Sanji puts out his cigarette against the counter—seriously, has nobody here heard of proper kitchen etiquette—and swings his leg in a drop kick.
There’s a loud CLANK as his shoe comes into contact with the pan.
Franky whistles. “That’s super awesome, bro!” He cheers, before turning back to the table with a lower voice, “Seriously, how have they not fired Sanji-bro already?”
“Other than the fact that he’s overqualified as hell?” Usopp asks in between spoonfuls of Sanji’s fried rice.
“Well, they do provide a wonderful source of entertainment for us customers,” Robin observes.
“Sure thing,” Franky replies, “but they’re totally destroying kitchen appliances right now, I mean, look at that roller. There’s no way any normal wood could withstand that —there it goes.”
“Let them be—what’s the worst that could happen?” Robin muses. “Other than a kitchen accident that leads to a gas explosion and the restaurant burning down to the ground, obliterating all of us in the process, of course.”
“Robin,” Usopp squeaks.
Inside the kitchen, the tables have turned—Sanji has somehow regained possession of his kitchen appliances, and he’s now teaching Zoro how to cook. They’re standing shoulder-to-shoulder, heads bent over the stove, and Sanji would occasionally wrap his hand around Zoro’s wrist to instruct him.
Zoro looks like he’s going to spontaneously combust. His eyes are darting between Sanji’s hands (still lightly gripping Zoro’s wrist), Sanji’s face (dangerously close to Zoro’s own), and Sanji’s lips (there’s something there, something he wants to do and Nami knows if she thinks hard enough she can put a name on it) —anywhere but the food they’re actually cooking. Zoro’s own face is now redder than the tomatoes lining up the kitchen counter.
Heart on his sleeve, Nami thinks. Open book, open book.
“I’m going to get some refills,” she announces, suddenly feeling like she’s intruding on something private and practically leaps towards the soda station. She could feel a pair of curious eyes on her back—Robin’s, no doubt—but she’s more distracted by another presence currently standing beside her.
“Hey,” Vivi says, voice light, teasing. She’s carrying a lot of cups on her, presumably the others’, and she bumps her shoulder against Nami’s playfully. Nami could feel the touch fizzle against her skin.
“Hey,” Nami replies, trying to pretend that the close proximity doesn’t bother her at all. “‘Sup?”
Vivi wordlessly helps her with the drinks, and they easily fall into comfortable silence, filling cups after cups, until Vivi nudges her again. “You know, Usopp was right about Sanji being overqualified.”
Nami fills Franky’s cup slower, wondering where the conversation is going. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah. You know, I have a secret,” Vivi says, tone playful, but when Nami looks up there’s something in her eyes. “Actually, I own this place.”
Nami stops filling the cup. “What?”
“I mean, it’s mostly on loan, and I’m not halfway done with the payments, but technically, yeah,” Vivi says, tucking her hair to the back of her ear in a nervous gesture. “I didn’t really want to tell anyone because it’s not like I wanted a special treatment from the patrons. And I am effectively a waitress here.”
Nami is suddenly reminded of all the instances when she called Baratie a no-name diner right to Vivi’s face, and feels her stomach sink. Holy shit, she called it a dumpster fire just last week.
Vivi must have noticed Nami’s mental breakdown, because she quickly waves her hand and laughs. “No, no, don’t worry about it—I know we’re still a work in progress. Especially ever since—”
Vivi trails off at that, suddenly looking unsure. She starts collecting all the cups, like she’s giving Nami a reason to back out of the conversation. “It’s kind of a boring life story, actually, I’m sorry for dumping that all to you out of the blue—”
“Vivi,” Nami says, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t usually do this; she knows, better than most, how heavy one’s past could be, and she hates it when people try to pry into hers. But Vivi is looking at her with sad eyes and unsteady hands, and suddenly Nami wants nothing other than to tell her, “I’ll drop this if you don’t want to talk about it, but remember this: I will always want to know more about you.”
She places her hand on Vivi's arm, for emphasis. “I will always want to support you.”
It takes a moment before her words sink in, and Nami could see the moment it does, Vivi’s eyes widening in surprise as her face breaks into a slow-starting smile. “Thank you, Nami,” she whispers, and it’s almost reverent.
Nami’s gaze falls onto Vivi’s lips, and suddenly it’s become very difficult to maintain a conversation.
She wonders how she’d look now, to an outsider. Flushed face and a stupid smile on her face, hands fidgeting with her own hair. Open book, open book . Could they hear, she wonders, the way her heart is hammering against her ribcage—would they find out—
Robin claps her hands together, snapping Nami out of her reverie. The whole group is already standing by the door, waiting for her, and god, how long have they been talking by the soda station again?
“Perhaps we can take the drinks another day. Time to go home, don’t you think?” Robin suggests. Her tone is light, but her gaze is heavy, and Nami has to resist the urge to curl into herself.
Zoro still stares at the kitchen, oblivious to the tension. “Yeah,” he says, almost in a daze. “ Shit — yeah.”
Shit, indeed.
 +
/u/Lanzifer• 975 points  5 months ago
This is a love story.
 /u/nashdezus • 307 points  3 months ago
I hate to break it to you but I think your boyfriend is in love with the cook. If this is fake you have written one of the greatest gay romances of this generation, if this isn’t fake I dunno what.
 /u/ParkNight • 399 points  3 months ago
Your BF needs to cut to the chase and invite the cook over to your place for some eggs and rough sex.
 /u/Cod3Man • 760 points  4 months ago
He has a crush on the cook & vice versa but they’re both living a lie so they fight because it’s the only way to release the sexual tension. Every different way of cooking an egg represents a different sex act.
 /u/jakubada • 523 points  3 months ago
Girl, not to wish ill will on your relationship, but you should bang that waitress instead.
 +
 “Have you ever heard of Baroque Works?”
Nami pauses. She places her pencil away, knowing that Vivi deserves nothing less than her full attention.
It’s only been a couple of days since the conversation she had with Vivi, but Nami can’t get her mind off of it. She’s been coming to Baratie every single day now after college, and it’s just so convenient that Zoro suddenly refuses to go. It’s simply harder to have Vivi open up when someone else is around, and not because there are other reasons. Like wanting Vivi all to herself. No sire.
She shakes herself out of the dangerous train of thoughts. “Baroque Works? Isn’t that the new restaurant chain down the block? It’s the one that’s taken over that other chain, right? Uh, what was it called—”
“Alabasta,” Vivi supplies, before sighing. “That’s the chain my family used to own.”
Nami blinks. “Wait, you used to own Alabasta?”
Running a diner on her own at her age is already an impressive feat in and of itself, but Alabasta is a whole different beast. It’s a nation-wide chain with dozens of restaurants, and owning the chain is probably equivalent to owning a small empire.
“Oh, no, I mean, my family did,” Vivi quickly adds, ever humble. “It’s not exactly anything impressive. My grandfather ran the business before my father did, and his father was the one who started it—it was passed down the generations, and I was simply born into it.
“As you said, Alabasta went down a few years ago because my father struck a bad deal with a ruthless businessman. It is clear now, in hindsight, that Crocodile was tricking us, but we were naive and perhaps a little too eager to expand. Baroque Works took over, and we were left with the only branch they deemed the least profitable—here.”
“And you renamed it to Baratie?”
“That was Sanji’s idea,” she says, a small smile playing on her lips; it is clearly a much fonder memory than what that businessman—Crocodile—did to her and her family. “At the time, Sanji just moved to Grand Line. His father had a restaurant back in East Blue with the same name, and he told me he would help me build everything back from the ground up. We would borrow the name, acting like we’re a branch of Baratie, and I can rename it back to Alabasta once I can settle all the legalities with Baroque Works.”
Everything slowly falls into place now—the way Sanji is clearly trained to cook dishes much more sophisticated than waffles and scrambled eggs, the freedom he gets to be able to mess around with Zoro, and his close camaraderie with Vivi.
Nami feels a pang of—god, jealousy, if she dares to put a name on it—towards Sanji; for being able to stand by Vivi’s side when she needed it the most. It’s silly, because Sanji has always been kind to her, and it’s not like it was Sanji’s fault that Nami didn’t know Vivi until recently, but the feeling gripped her like a vice anyway, heavy and suffocating.
Vivi seems to have taken her silence wrongly, though, because she looks away, almost shamefully. “You must think this is all stupid.”
“Of course not,” Nami immediately retorts without missing a beat. She thinks of Bellemere, holding her head high despite the judgments from the neighbors. She was alone and penniless, countless doors slammed close in her face just because she was a single mother; but none of that stopped Bellemere from sending Nojiko and Nami to the best school in the neighborhood
So Nami tells Vivi what she has always wanted to tell Bellemere, and what she knows to be true of Vivi, of any women in her life who has never backed down from adversity— “You’re amazing.”
Vivi blinks, cheeks coloring at the words. It takes her a moment before she can reply with a shaky, “Yeah?”
“Yeah? Vivi, you’re—” Nami turns her body to face Vivi fully, grabbing her by the arms, “—you’re the strongest, most hard-working person I’ve ever known. Most people in your shes would’ve turned tails and run.” 
Vivi flushes further. It’s the first time Nami has seen her flustered, really cute, actually. And the fact that Nami is the one who put that expression on her face —
“Are we intruding on something?”
Nami almost jumps from her seat, suddenly feeling like she’s five again, getting caught with her hand halfway into the cookie jar. Vivi is scrambling to her feet from her side, cleaning imaginary dust from her uniform as she stammers, “no, of course not! I’m sorry, sir—sirs , can I take your order?”
Nami looks up to see Jinbe laugh and wave at her, signaling her to calm down. Brook is standing right behind him, giving Nami a small wave. “What do you serve?”
Nami tries to return to her map as Vivi starts rattling off the menu, but Brook—wise, old Brook, with his soft voice and observing eyes, goes, “No Zoro this time around, hm?”
Her pen stills. There’s nothing accusatory in Brook’s voice—he would never, none of their friends would never. But she waits for Vivi to be off with their orders still before replying, arms crossed across her chest almost defensively. “What is it to you, old man?”
She realizes a little too late that it’s an awfully rude response, but Jinbe simply laughs. “Old men, aren’t we, Brook?”
“Certainly older than most,” Brook agrees, eyes shining in mirth, not offended the least. “Hopefully wiser, too.”
“Well, sometimes,” Jinbe says, turning to Nami, “old men like us have the fortune—or the misfortune, some may say—to have loved and lost.”
Nami isn’t quite sure where the conversation is going, but there’s grief carried by Jinbe’s voice, and what comes out is, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all long past, miss,” Jinbe dismisses, not unkindly. “More importantly, what I’m trying to ay is, you and Zoro might have been looking at the wrong places. Love, that is. But there is time to rectify this—isn’t that what you young people have? Time”
Nami sits still, stupefied.
She has the suspicion that Robin knows, but Robin has always had her ways. For Jinbe to notice? Jinbe, who would rather talk about his fishing trips than to gossip? How obvious has she been?
(Open book, the thought resurfaces, unbidden. Heart on her sleeve—)
“Though, Nami?” Brook suddenly says, snapping Nami out of her own reverie.
She suddenly realizes that it’s just the two of them on the table, Jinbe already wandering around after imparting her with some advices. She clears her throat, trying to get her bearings. “Yeah?”
“I have to disagree with our dear Jinbe, I must say. We have loved and lost, but,” he takes her hand and guides it to rest on her heart.
“To love,” Brook says, voice steady, sure as a day. “Is never a misfortune.”
 +
     r/AmITheAsshole
Realizing I am a lesbian while dating a guy. AITA? submitted 2 months ago by u/throwawaypinwheel
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   Realizing I am a lesbian while dating a guy. AITA?
submitted 2 months ago by /u/throwawaypinwheel
I’m a girl who has gone through a couple of dates with a dude, but I’m falling in love with another girl. Like, I’m having a gay crisis right now. I’m not actually cheating since we haven’t decided to be exclusive yet, but he’s also a childhood friend, so it makes me wonder if this is a dick move? 
To make matters more complicated: my date? Friend? Sort of boyfriend? He seems to have fallen in love with someone else too, and it’s another guy, so he might be gay, too.
Yes, I know bisexuality exists. Can’t exactly speak about him but I think I’m not that, so it’s not like I can suck it up and date him instead. AITA?
  [deleted] • 725 points  2 months ago
Aren’t you the OP of that one viral post from r/relationship_advice about the Baratie cook?
/u/throwawaypinwheel • 2324 points  2 months ago
Yes, and that’s relevant, how?
 /u/alohci • -20 points  2 months ago
LOL you’re clearly a troll. This isn’t r/CreativeWriting, go write your romance novel somewhere else. I’m reporting you to the mods.
 /u/cheesus32 • 1739 points  2 months ago
This is better than most shit on Netflix right now
 /u/veloace • 1641 points  2 months ago
Communication is key, OP. Sexualities aside—which is a topic for another day—isn’t this essentially a case of the two of you wanting different things from the relationship?
 +
 Nami takes a deep breath and checks her phone for the time.
She sees the 1:00 displayed on the screen. Her appointment with Zoro is supposed to be on twelve thirty, which means she’ll have another 30 minutes as Zoro gets lost on the way to Baratie as usual. One hour was his record.
She takes another deep breath and sighs.
This is it. She’s going to tell Zoro the truth.
It’s rare for her, to be so nervous around Zoro, but in her defense, it’s not like there’s an easy way to say, “hey, sorry, this may come out of nowhere but I’m breaking things off between us. Apparently I’m a lesbian and I’m also in love with the waitress at the place where we’re supposed to be going on dates in. It’s not you, it’s me.”
...Nami really needs to work on her delivery.
Her heart stutters in her chest as the automatic door slides open and Zoro walks in with the grim determination of a soldier going into battle. Perhaps Zoro is more perceptive than she’s giving him credit for. She hopes so—it surely will make this whole sort of-break up easier for the both of them.
She has run her line over and over again in her head, but nothing has prepared her to see Zoro sit down across the table, bow down, and says, “I’m sory, but I don’t think this is working out for us.”
She blinks. Wait. Wait—“ You're breaking up with me?”
“Luffy thinks we’re having a fight because we’ve been acting weird around each other ever since we tried out this whole dating thing, and hell, Nami, he’s right—I’ve seen you less now,” Zoro plows on, oblivious to her shock. “And don’t get me wrong, you’re my best friend, and you’re still my best friend, and I want us back. The us that’s, you know, normal. Alsoimightbeinlovewiththecook .”
Oh.
That’s—oh.
Nami is pretty sure her mouth is hanging open stupidly now, but she can’t bring herself to care. “Holy shit,” she breathes, perplexed. “Reddit was right.”
Zoro finally looks up at that. “What’s red—” he seems to take in her expression for the first time since the conversation started, eyebrows furrowing. ‘Wait. You’re not mad?”
“Mad? No, Zoro, god—how could I be when you’re right?” She feels her body slumping into the chair, the weight she didn’t know she’d been carrying has suddenly been lifted. “We are terrible for each other. I have no idea what got us to agree to this.”
Zoro visibly relaxes. There’s amusement in his tone as he suggests, “the copious amount of alcohol?”
Right. They were in the middle of a drinking competition when the idea of a date came up. “You know what, in hindsight, it’s kind of crazy that we got this far with such a stupid idea.”
“I think I was running away,” Zoro admits, eyes unwittingly darting towards the kitchen. “I couldn’t—I had this thing, for the Cook, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit it. So I tried to make you an excuse for my cowardice.” He bows again. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no, dummy, don’t—” she kicks him on the shin, forcing him to stop bowing. “Stop being all bushido on me. I wasn’t any better. I’m—in love with Vivi.”
It’s Zoro’s turn to look at her in surprise. “What, really?”
It’s comforting, in a way, that at least she isn’t so obvious that Zoro would notice. “Yeah. You’re probably too preoccupied with your pretty blond to notice, but I’ve been pretty smitten myself. And I guess I have you and your little crush to thank for dragging me here in the first place.”
Zoro blushes at that, and it’s cute—not in a way that makes her want to kiss him, but definitely in a way that makes her want to tease him until the end days. God, how did it take her so long to realize she never loved him that way?
“‘Dragging” you, huh?” Zoro seems to decide to hone in on that, probably because he could burn himself alive from embarrassment if he keeps talking about Sanji. “This place is that bad for a date?”
Nami throws her head back and laughs. “You’re the worst date ever, Zoro,” she says, in between peals of laughter. “But you’re the best wingman I’ve ever had.”
 +
 “Going on a date again this time?” Vivi asks.
Nami looks at her—really takes her in, her smooth long hair and bright smile and long eyelashes. Holy shit, she’s staring at her eyelashes. She is so fucking gay.
She clears her throat. Focus, Nami. “No, actually, uh, can we talk? Like, super serious.”
Vivi immediately straightens up at that. “Of course. Give me a moment."
She rushes towards the kitchen, probably to tell Sanji that she’ll be occupied for a moment; something pulls inside Nami’s chest at the sight, knowing that Vivi would drop everything to be by Nami’s side.
When Vivi reemerges from the kitchen, she’s no longer carrying the tray and the menu. She takes a seat beside Nami and takes her hand. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, kind of, uh,” here goes nothing. “Zoro and I broke up.”
Vivi’s free hand shot up to cover her mouth in surprise. “Oh my god, Nami, I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, don’t be,” she rushes to clarify, before Vivi gets the wrong idea, “I did say we broke up, but that isn’t exactly right—I mean, we were never exclusive, Vivi. And I don’t think we were ever dating for real. Like, we’re gay.”
There’s a beat. “What?”
Okay, so Nami could  have broken the news much more smoothly than that.
“Zoro and I, uh—I’m gay. And Zoro never exactly put a label, but I’m pretty sure he never even dreamed of banging a chick, and—” she squeezes Vivi’s hand. She isn’t sure she’s doing it for Vivi or herself. “I know this is a lot, but I just—I think we were just very comfortable with each other, and since we are man and woman, we somehow thought we should date. Which is dumb, looking back at it, but we’d never fallen in love before.”
She thinks of Vivi—beautiful, fierce, kind Vivi, who carries the world on her shoulders. Vivi, whose smile lights up the whole room. “We didn’t know how different it was going to be, when it’s the real thing.”
Somewhere behind them, she can hear something heavy hit the floor in the kitchen, which means Zoro must have confessed right about now and Sanji must have dropped something from the shock.
Well, at least Vivi hasn’t dropped anything yet. 
“What I’m trying to say is,” she continues, finding newfound courage from the way Vivi looks at her—is that hope in her eyes? “Vivi, you’re the most wonderful, amazing person I’ve ever met, and you’re beautiful and pretty but I like you more than just that.” She takes Vivi’s hand in both of hers now. “Would you go out with me?”
There’s a moment as her words seem to sink in, and Nami feels her blood run cold—what if she read this whole thing wrongly? What if Vivi was straight? What if she was just trying to help out a friend, being the nice person she is?
But then Vivi’s face splits into a smile, soft and golden-warm, the white light of the overhead fluorescence illuminating her almost ethereal-like. “Yes, Nami,” she says, lacing their fingers together, “I would love to go out with you. But only on one condition.”
“Anything,” Nami says without thinking, because it’s true.
Vivi grins, and there’s a teasing edge on her voice as she says, “If you’re asking me on a date in a diner, count me out.”
“Oh my god,” Nami says, finally, finally pulling Vivi in for a kiss, “never again.”
 +
  UPDATE: My (20F) Date (21M) has left me for a Baratie cook (21M)
submitted 3 days ago by /u/throwawaypinwheel
 It’s fine though, I have a girlfriend (18F, beautiful, amazing, doesn’t get into fights with random cooks) now. Yes, it’s the waitress. Yes, you guys have told me so. I’d love to take the L, but I’m the one with a hot girlfriend here, so am I really losing in this scenario?
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suguruverse · 3 years
Note
hi mimi! i, really, really, REALLY love your "being best friend with..." series and i was hoping that you could do for tsukishima and yamaguchi? 🥺 thank you in advance, love! <3
— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI
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includes - tsukishima kei and yamaguchi tadashi
a/n - hehe i hope you liked this one <33
published date - 29/03/21
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- this friendship is definitely not for the weak
- shit talking 24/7
- don’t be decieved, yamaguchi isn’t all that innocent
- yall he’s literally been best friends with tsukishima all his life plus he’s a scorpio sooo nuff said
- he definitely has tea on EVERYONE
- yamaguchi is also the type of friend who lets you copy all of his work
- on the other hand, tsukishima thinks you’re insufferable
- you always insist on coming to their games and practices
- tsukishima just says that he doesn’t want you there in general (spoiler alert!! he actually does)
- but yamaguchi only says that because he thinks that he’s not going to be on court that much and that he’s probably gonna do bad anyways so he doesn’t wanna waste your time by making you watch him fail
- but when you go to their games, tsukishima does a peace sign at you after he scores a point, like he does with his brother
- when they’re feeling particularly unmotivated, you do aggressive pep talks for them
- it makes them scared but also a lil happy
- but the rest of the team is definitely scared because they just see this random girl yelling at two of their teammates but they’re enjoying being yelled at??
- masochist vibes
- omfg i literally cant deal w myself holy shit okay
- you guys have sleepovers every weekend. no questions asked.
- most because you and yams come over to tsukishima’s house all the time and unannounced and he ‘can’t be bothered kicking you guys out’ so he lets yall stay
- it’s always late nights whenever you guys get to have deep conversations
- these conversations are super important in the friendship!!
- they both struggle with insecurities and issues of their own, and since the normally don’t voice out their feelings, you try to be as supportive as possible
- but they never make you feel as if you should carry all of their burdens
- they (mostly yamaguchi) always encourages you to be more open but never forces you to
- i feel like trust and communication is vital for this friendship to last
- tsukishima is way too attentive for his own good
- if you’re having a bad day, tsukishima never really does anything but he lets yamaguchi go crazy on food, snacks and your favourite things in general
- tsukishima know that you like hugs so on special occasions, he’ll let you hold onto him longer than usual
- THEY BOTH LOVE BACK HUGS it makes them feel safe and secure
- pls you initiate most of the physical affection and they love it so much
- tsukishima acts like he hates it, but if you don’t greet him with a good morning hug or kiss on the forehead/cheek, he’s gonna be grumpy for the entire day
- i feel like for this friendship to have happened, yall would have had to grown up together 
- also yamaguchi worries over you almost too much
- his brain is 50% worrying about you, 25% volleyball and 25% school
- yall eat lunches together everyday
- sometimes yamaguchi will make you and tsukishima lunches or just little snacks like cookies
- on birthdays, they go full out
- they bring party hats, ALL of your favourite foods with serving sizes that could feed their team and a cake (strawberry shortcake of course because tsukishima was being stingy and chose the cake that he wanted)
- they insist on walking you home every single night
- and when you’re up at 2am wanting to get snacks, tsukishima acts as if you’re crazy and should be sleeping but he still walks with you to the store because ‘only a dumbass would go out alone this late and he didn’t want to hear yamaguchi cry everyday if you got kidnapped’
- yamaguchi leaves motivational notes on your desk and locker
- tsukishima has made you cry while trying to tutor you multiple times
- and yamaguchi yells at him every time he makes you cry
- also yamaguchi can be hella intimidating when he tries
- so don’t worry if anyone is bothering you bc they’re your biggest protectors
- the LITTLEST things you do for them will get them flustered and happy
gc name: y/n’s sluts 🤑🤑
you: KEI
you: KEI ANSWER
you: CODE RED EMERGENCY
tsukishima: jesus i’m here what happened
you: TADASHI
tsukishima: what’s wrong with him
you: I THINK HES BEING ASKED OUT
you: HE LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE
tsukishima: omw where r u
you: SECOND FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR CLASSROOM
yamaguchi: hi guys
you: TADASHIIIII :((
yamaguchi: hehe i’m alright :)
yamaguchi: they were actually trying to confess to tsukki, they thought he would be with me
you: aww babes are you okay ??
yamaguchi: mhm!! just a little embarrassed, that’s all
you: i’ll come over to u
you: plus why are they confessing to kei, he’s an asshole 😒 tadashi is way more boyfriend material
tsukishima: i’m right here you brat
you: 🤪🤪
tsukishima: anyways, let’s go already, we need to get snacks for movie night at yamaguchi s
yamaguchi: mine?? i thought we normally go to urs
tsukishima: shut up, deal with it
you: don’t be rude to my lovely tadashi!!
you: we’re doing movie night at urs bc keis doesn’t want akiteru to interrupt the movie
yamaguchi: oh okay!! i’m picking the movie this time
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taeilskitty · 3 years
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helloo can u do a little drabble of your thoughts on how johnny , doyoung , and kun would be as brat tamers , as well as the things that they would say please 🥺 tyty , i loved "punishment" btw 🥰
omg first of all thank u so much!! i'm so glad you liked it, i was literally terrified to post it but icb how many people have said they liked my writing!! thanks so much for reading hehe <333
now, as for the brat taming, bitch u must be a mind reader because lemme tell you i have been THINKING about this shit lately??!?!! i have . a lot to say.
the first place my mind went to was like, what if you were in a 4-way relationship/dating all 3 of them and they could just share you?? i kinda think it would be... hardcore, ngl. as a fellow brat i know thats the dream though let's be honest. but anyways i'll assume you meant them all separately - that may or may not have sparked a few ~ideas~ for future posts though >:)
kun
out of the 3 of them, i think kun can be the scariest. he won't take any bullshit from you. of course you always try and catch him out but he's the type of dom who won't give in. "you wanna be punished baby, is that it?" he's not dumb. he knows what you want and he knows how to give it to you. he's more than patient; that's what makes him so intimidating. he'd try to ignore your misbehaviour, gritting his teeth and just giving you the benefit of the doubt, but there is a line for him. "dolly, i've been patient with you. now listen to daddy." he'd grab your face and talk to you like you're nothing :( "stop. being. a fucking. brat."
i think he takes a lot of pleasure in bending you over and spanking you (there's a part in this video where he smacks sicheng on the thigh and i... it does things to me). he probably uses those pretty crop toys too, the ones that leave cute heart-shaped marks on your ass and thighs each time he uses it. i don't think he'd want to actually hurt you, but he certainly wants the both of you to have some fun. seeing how wet/hard it makes you only makes him wanna fuck some sense to you, so it's always nice when you end up bent over with his hand in your hair and his cock slamming into you <3
doyoung
i just wrote a req for him so he's very much in my brain.. doyoung is not patient. like at ALL. he has to take a moment to stay calm because he could just fuck you till you forget how to speak, but he wants to make you squirm with need. he's for sure the type to back you up against the wall with a hand around your throat, not choking you but to make sure you remember who's in charge, who owns you. he'd get right up in your face and give you a look that screams don't fuck around with me. i feel like he sort of playfully guilt trips you if that makes sense? he puts on this fake sad face and he's like "baby, please... i just want you to be good for me. you wanna be good right?"
he's also not afraid to tie you up if you're touching without permission. he'd tell you "i don't have time to deal with this. start behaving." and he'd make you sit and watch him work on his computer. (granted there's no way he'd be able to focus on working when you're whining like a little bitch, but that just means he'll fuck you like a toy later.) obviously he'll wanna cum, but he knows how much you want to, too. so to prove a point he'd either fuck your mouth like it's his hand, or he'd fuck you without letting you cum. he brings you riiiiight to the edge and rips it away from you with a laugh to make you feel worthless.
johnny
how you'd make it out of this situation without BREAKING idk. it's not that he's necessarily too rough, he's just huge. like kun, johnny is always ridiculously patient with you, he could sit there with a straight face and not break even after hours of you acting bratty. he sits and laughs at you and you feel so worthless and pathetic :(( when you tell him how cruel he is he just chuckles at you; "aw is that right? and what are you gonna do about it?" he looks so smug and HOT it makes you crave his cock so bad.
i think he's also the type to back you into the wall and intimidate you. there's no way you can carry on being so naughty when he's towering above you like that but somehow you DO, and i guess he gives in sometimes because there's been a few times that acting up has ended in you in his lap in front of the mirror watching his giant cock split you open. he holds your legs apart and makes you stare at it, moaning and groaning right in your ear. "this is what you wanted, right baby?" he'd have no sympathy for you if it was too big n the stretch is too much :(( "oh, daddy's cock is too big? aw..." he'd only fuck you harder because at the end of the day your tight hole makes him cum so good (and he knows you love it anyway)
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gnocchighoul · 4 years
Note
Hmm.. kind of a random thing but that's how my brain works sometimes but hear me out! The Bros (plus undatables and Luke if you want) get turned into cats. What type of cat would they be, how would mc react, and how would they react to being a cat.
I had SO much fun writing this one. Thank you for this excellent prompt 💗
This is just the demon bros getting turned into cats, but I might make a part two with the undateables! :D
~
Lucifer
Oh he’s going to be so pissed off. 
Seriously, even as a cat, his murder-death-murder-death stare is beyond intense. He will sit himself high up on furniture to glare down on everyone like the prettiest gargoyle you’ve ever seen. 
Nobody is allowed to come near him. He will swat and hiss at anyone and everyone who approaches, unless they are approaching to turn him back into a demon. 
BUT if you had nothing to do with this curse that’s fallen upon him, then he’ll probably let you near, as long as you’re not like, weird about it. Seriously, don’t baby talk at him, he’s not actually a cat.
Cat-Lucifer will probably just want to constantly stand on your shoulders and wrap his tail around your neck, which isn’t super comfortable because he’s not exactly small and dainty. 
Also, every time you say something stupid he’s gonna bite your ear lol
Tbh he’s probably going to make you carry him everywhere like that and he’s gonna control where you go -- you know, kinda like ratatouille LMAO
Mammon
You know those cats that climb literally everything and anything?
Yeah.
When he first gets turned into a cat, he freaks the fuck out. But when he finally calms down and isn’t meowing up an angry storm, he’s gonna realize that this is a great opportunity. for evil.
He's gonna book it the second he realizes that he can literally be a cat-thief.
Nothing is safe from his grabby little gremlin paws.
He steals so much shit (wallets, Asmo’s jewelry, Levi’s limited edition collectors items--anything he can carry in his mouth or drag around) and then he stashes it all in your room, because unfortunately, becoming a cat didn’t make him any smarter.
Lucifer tasks you with just sitting in your room and keeping track of everything cat-Mams steals so that you can return everything to their rightful owners.
You quickly become used to cat-Mams sauntering in and out of your room every five minutes with his newfound riches.
So it’s a bit concerning when Mams darts out of your room after stashing a wallet in his hoard, and doesn’t come back after thirty minutes.
Naturally, you go looking for him.
You’ve only been searching for about twenty minutes, when pathetic meowing reaches your ears. You follow the sound, and--
You find him stuck in a cardboard box.
(before fishing him out, you take tons of pictures. He’s very upset.)
Levi
Levi is so distraught. He’s literally going to just wail and roll around on the floor until somebody picks him up. 
He’s literally the crying cat meme.
Once he’s in your arms, do not put him down. He’s very sad and his reflexes really aren’t good. You know how you can just kinda toss cats onto the floor and they’ll land on their feet just fine?
He will not. 
Is suuuuper jumpy and only trusts you (and maybe Beel, but he’s lowkey afraid that Beel is going to eat him.) 
You should probably get him one of those bubble back-packs that cats can sit in and carry him around in that. 
He has the worst time as a cat. He just wants to play his video games :(
(But if you give him lots of smooches, it’ll make his suffering a little bit easier to deal with. But like, he’s gonna turn into an overwhelmed ragdoll when u start giving him the smooches)
Satan
Honestly? He isn’t that opposed to being a cat for a little while.
But he’s also like. So hyperactive. Goes from 0-1000 in half a second.
He’s got the zoomies.
He’s gonna parkour his way around the house of lamentation, testing how fast he can zoom, how high and far he can jump (and how far he can fall without hurting himself)
He’s gonna do a backflip off lucifer at the speed of light and then sprint away as fast as he can to go wreck some shit
If you want to hold him, you’re going to have to catch him mid-air. If he doesn’t just squirm out of your arms and actually lets you pet him, he’s gonna stare you dead in the eyes, extend his claws, and then pat your leg with his lil toe beans.
You’re not entirely sure if that means ‘keep petting me’ or ‘stop it right now’ so you just kinda scratch his ears instead
Asmo
Even as a cat he’s beautiful and everybody has to see just how pretty he is. 
He’s constantly striking poses. 
Looking back over his shoulder. Stretching his leggies out so you can see how long and lean they are. Contorting his body in the WEIRDEST ways because he’s even more flexible now.
He does not run anywhere, he struts very daintily and model-like.
He’s gonna be so affectionate. Constantly rubbing his cheeks all over you, and leaning against you, but be careful while you give him pets because if you mess up his fur he’s gonna swat your hands away.
He’s also definitely going to be really annoying and constantly walk in front of your feet and trip you up. Where are you going, why aren’t you admiring him, dammit
You know how most cats hate water?
Not asmo. 
He’s gonna make you fill the bathtub up to his chin so he can float around on his tiptoes with just the upper half of his head out of the water like a crocodile. 
Then you have to blow-dry him until he’s all nice and fluffy and give him a good brush. 
He will absolutely tolerate you dressing him up and taking pictures as long as you make him look nice. He won’t allow you to put him in stupid costumes (he’s gonna bite you when you bust out a lobster costume) but a pearl necklace? Hell yeah.
Beel
Feed him dammit, he’s starving.
Cat-Beel is going to gnaw on EVERYTHING. Furniture. Books. Clothes. Your hands and ankles. 
It’s not anxiety -- honestly he really doesn’t mind being a cat -- he’s just so hungy.
Also he’s MASSIVE. 
You don’t actually know that he’s been turned into a cat until you go to the kitchen for a snack and find an orange & white cat the size of a literal child raiding the fridge. 
Which brings me to my next point -- he’s gonna be SUCH a snuggle bug. Like those really big dogs that insist on sitting in your lap and crushing you. If he isn’t eating then he just wants to flop on top of you and crush you with his love.
You can baby-talk at him if you want, as long as you give him treats and snuggle him. 
He purrs so. Much. 
Will also let u just roll him around and do whatever you want to him dkjncdsn he’s honestly the chillest out of them all
Belphie
God he’s so fucking upset at first, like claws out, hissing and spitting at everyone, full on tantruming upset, BUT THEN. but then. You pick him up and press a kiss to his sweet little triangle head and he bleps and it's all over.
Good luck getting anything done. Cat-Belphie is going to demand your full attention for snuggles CONSTANTLY. 
No, he doesn’t care that you’re trying to research ways to turn him back, he’s gonna plop his little butt on the tome you’re attempting to read until you give him love, dammit.
Honestly, Belphie being a cat isn’t that much different from normal. The biggest difference is that now he can squeeze into weirder places to nap, which makes it very difficult to keep track of him. 
After searching for two fucking hours, you, Satan, Levi, and Beel find him stretched out across the arms of one of the chandeliers in the dining room, like it’s some kind of weird hammock. 
He’s fast asleep. Nobody knows how he got up there. 
(To get down, he ends up yeeting himself into Beel’s arms.)
If Bells isn’t napping, then he’s hiding under furniture, waiting for his next victim to walk by so he can attack their ankles.
(also the most likely to bite u when he wants your attention)
((part 2 with the undateables))
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