#like we don’t see the others reading as much as him

[loriache]

Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects

Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.

Seeking understanding

Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.

People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.

The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.

While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.  

Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.

But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.

Elves & Impossible mutual understanding

While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."

This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.

Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?

Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.

However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.

He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.

This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.

Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....

He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?

Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.

This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.

In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.

Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.

Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.

That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.  

I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.

Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects

The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.

I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.

But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:

the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.

These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.

Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.

oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.

Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!

But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.

To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.

But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.

But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.

Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.

“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)

This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.

Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.

To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".

To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.

To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.

So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.

Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.

For another:

Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?

It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.

This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?

Conclusion

The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.

True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.

We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.

Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.

The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.

We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".

They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.

I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.

#og post #kabru of utaya #kabru dungeon meshi #laios touden #dungeon meshi meta #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi analysis #kuro dungeon meshi #the canaries #milsiril #continuing to develop my kabru theses. #literally sitting and thinking about kabru all day. rotating him. #he's in the microwave. to me.

[spideyhexx]

1 am thoughts with kit;

mdni (here is other academic rival!coryo)

on the topic of being academic rivals with coryo, little petty fights would happen all the time.

even during school hours, where you’re speaking in harsh, hushed tones to one another in the library because he took the book you needed on purpose of course.

Yes, he did need to book for an assignment. But, he already read it and is pretending he still needs it just to piss you off. And you know it. Even though it’s a dumb fight and you know you’ll get the book in time in some way, you’ve had it. You’re tired of the fighting with him, with how annoyed he makes you feel.

Coriolanus doesn’t expect you to straight up ignore him when he asks you what you’re gonna do about him having the book. You turn on your heel and go back to where you set up at a study table, aggressively putting your notebook and pens away, not daring to look at him even when you hear his footsteps approach.

“Are you gonna answer me? I have the book you need, what’re you gonna do about it?”

You don’t respond still. Ignoring him as though he’s not there. He’s searching for a fight. Coriolanus wants to hear you snap at him, but he’s getting angrier the more you ignore him.

“Can you stop with the silence? I’ll give you the book,” he tries, seeing if that will make you talk to him but you don’t. You finish packing your back, zipping it up and before you have the chance to sling it over your shoulder, you feel his hand grab your jaw to turn your face to him.

“Don’t ignore me,” he spits out, in a stern tone even he didn’t expect to have. His grip isn’t hurting, but it makes you freeze in your place, feeling vulnerable but also turned on. Which is another thing in of itself. His hands were so nice. And he held your face like he needed to. Made you look at him. It was always difficult to suppress your attraction to Coriolanus, and he’s making it harder.

“Sorry,” he mutters, letting go of your jaw, as though he snapped out of it and realized how aggressive he had gotten, that your breath hitched in a way he wondered if you liked it or if he was overthinking.

“Thought you’d want me to ignore you, Snow. I annoy you so much, maybe it’s better if we just leave each other alone,” you tell him, trying to keep your voice steady.

His mouth parts to say something, but he stops himself. He looks at the book in his hands and just holds it out to you, waiting for you to take it. You do, turning to put it into your back.

Coriolanus clears his throat and steps closer, leaning his head down so he can whisper to your ear, “I don’t want you to ignore me.”

He watches for your reaction but the moment you lock your eyes back to his, he’s looking away, standing up straight and fixing the strap of his bag on him, starting to walk off, but not without saying, “see you in class, dork.”

#late night thoughts #coryo calling you a dork when he himself is a bit of dork basically #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow concept #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus x you #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus smut #coriolanus imagine #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow blurb #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow drabble #tbosas

[ironunderstands]

Yapping about why I love Aventio and what I feel makes it a great ship 

(If you hate it I urge you to read this, because you don’t have to agree with me, but I want you to get where Aventio shippers are coming from at least)

I’ve just really wanted to talk about why I love Aventio because the people do not get it like I do and GODDD ITS SO GOOD WHEN DONE CORRECTLY UGHHHHH

Also this is gonna be VERY stream of consciousness I do not have a plan besides dragging you through my brain so enjoy the ride.

I guess the best place to start is the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are my two favorite characters in the game. Like even if they have no interactions with each other ever and might as well be from different pieces of media I would ship them, because I like seeing characters I like interact and the fun police cannot catch me. That’s a really shallow personal reason though and I feel like the rest I have will be able to be appreciated by others.

GOD THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD RAAAAAA

Two emotional constipated dumbasses circling around each other like black holes trying desperately to deny and run from their feelings when they have both fallen hard. The lack of acknowledgement of feelings on both ends is TRAGIC and it makes me want to rip my eyes out in a good way, let’s start with Ratio.

Unfortunately my glorious king Ratio has been mischaracterized to hell and back but we will get to that (and the Incorrect Reasons Why People Hate Aventio) later. Instead I will go over his actual character; a deeply insecure, intelligent man who desperately wants the rest of the galaxy to come to the realizations he has long since stumbled upon, but has been so isolated from his peers from such a young age that he’s doomed to fail in literally every social interaction he has and be misunderstood by both the audience in universe and irl (the autistic coding isn’t helping him either).

Ratio is tragically misunderstood again, both in universe and by the audience, which is why it means so much that Aventurine Gets Him. Aventurine pushes his buttons, tears down that literal cold marble facade masking the deeply silly and caring man beneath (this man bathes with rubber duckies in the privacy of his own home 😭), and that scares the shit out of Ratio. People aren’t meant to see through him, Ratio acts rude not just because he believes it’s the best way to help people, and because he believes he himself is mundane and the conclusions they come to should be their own, not his.

No, it’s also because on some level Ratio is afraid to be vulnerable around people. As much as he pretends like it doesn’t affect him, Nous’s rejection has hurt and haunted Ratio for his entire life. And I do mean his entire life, even in high school he had already set up a strict routine for himself, something commented on by his teacher, Ratio has quite literally always been striving for some sort of perfection and the fact that he cannot achieve it kills him.

Moreover, the guy just grew up way too fast, he didn’t have time to develop social skills. We see it in that afformentioned relationship with his teacher, in which they recommend Ratio (who is again in high school) to be moved up to college level stuff and transferred due to his success. He has quite literally never been able to just relax in a environment of his peers, Ratio for some reason we don’t yet know has always been dedicated to constant improvement and that leaves no room for dealing with failure.

On some level, he knows this too, that he can never be perfect. Ratio is part of the Mundanites in the Intelligenica Guild for a reason, he doesn’t just see himself as mediocre because he believes everyone is and that’s ok, but also because he looks down on himself for being too mediocre for the Genius Society, being too mediocre for Nous’s acknowledgement, being too mediocre for anything.

Which is tragic because Ratio is very accomplished and he is very smart, and his character stories aren’t even told from his pov, but rather in the style of documentaries and letters (his professor) and other works on his well acclaimed life. We don’t ever get to see how Ratio really sees himself, just the tiny cracks in his marble facade that let the real man behind the character shine through.

Because that’s what he’s playing 90% of the time, a character. Whether it be at the Herta Space Station in which his real goal was to uproot the researchers blind worship of the Genius Society, or in Penacony in which he plays up the arrogant, narcissistic scholar both people in universe and irl make him out to be, both to serve a goal bigger than himself. 

Sincere moments from Ratio are RARE but god are they beautiful, his conversation from Screwllum in 1.6 and his note to Aventurine in 2.1 will forever haunt me in the best way possible. If you want to understand Ratio as a character, yes read his character stories, but just watch that damn scene with Screwllum it is phenomenal. He cares so much and is so, so bad at expressing it, he drives me nuts, Veritas Ratio the man you are. 

And the thing is, it seems like he’s always been playing a character and doesn’t know where the real him ends anymore so he just sticks to the way people perceive him a lot of the time. Like as a kid he was constantly striving to be the best so he missed a lot of necessary developmental shit, and as an adult he’s a celebrity so it’s hard for him to attach himself to others anyways because society and his students will hound him for it.

And then you throw Aventurine into the mix, and oh boy does shit get interesting.

Veritas Ratio, perfect “unfeeling” Veritas Ratio and the one person who gets him well enough to push all his buttons and expose the vulnerable underbelly he thought he hid so well. On a fundamental level, Ratio understands this, which is why he doesn’t bother with the alabaster head, as pretending the real him is just as unfeeling and uncaring is easier.

So he brushes off Aventurine’s jests as if they are an insult to his very existence, he can’t look in Aventurine’s eyes when he “betrays” him because his poker face would break, he leaves as soon as he’s done talking because lingering would allow the weight of their conversations to sink in. Part of it is because for pretty much all of Penacony, up until the note Ratio gives him, Ratio is acting, trying to play up the role of the arrogant, unfeeling scholar to make Sunday buy the betrayal plan, because to Sunday this behavior is signs of a bad relationship between the two (honestly the fact that the audience also interpreted it this way makes me mad like did yall seriously not pay attention, but also happy because if even the players were fooled that means Sunday buying it is believable). 

However, even if it feeds into his insecurities, Aventurine knows that false facade and loves tearing it down. It’s very telling that the second time we see Ratio really freak out (the first being at Herta Space Station) is at the suggestion that he came to narrate Aventurine’s demo not because of knowledge or respect for the show or whatever, but because he genuinely likes the guy. What makes it even better is that Aventurine is the one who suggested it, and already figured out the excuses Ratio was going to use to deny it. Ratio can fool everyone else in the galaxy, but he cannot fool Aventurine, and on a fundamental level that is what makes their dynamic work, because Ratio knows Aventurine in the exact same way.

Aventurine can shove away people who care about him, out of distrust and fear that they will leave him like his family did. He can believe he’s unloveable and a person so detestable that even the actions he performs in order to stay alive condemn him to hate himself as much as the rest of the galaxy hates him. But, Ratio doesn’t see him that way.

Aventurine doubts his intelligence, if he has really earned anything he’s done and in his voiceline about Ratio, doubting if Ratio even sees him as smart or worthy. However, Ratios voiceline about Aventurine is about how he believes Aventurine is smart and worthy, and that his doubt will be his downfall if he doesn’t come to the realization that he isn’t worthless. 

Ratio knows Aventurine’s one weakness, the one thing that could stop him; himself. That’s why he gives him the note urging him to stay alive and keep on living because ultimately Aventurine will only ever fail if he gives up. And The Note Is Enough, Aventurine walks into the event horizon of a black hole, confident he can return alive on the other side because someone cares about him, BECAUSE RATIO CARES ABOUT HIM, and wants him to live on even if Aventurine doesn’t feel that way towards himself.

In the metaphorical and literal manifestation of the meaningless of the universe, in the face of overwhelming nihility, Aventurine survives because someone loves him, and with that love he’s strong enough to brave even that. 

Even if they can’t admit it out loud, these two deeply, deeply care for one another and trust each other perhaps more than anyone else in the narrative. The betrayal plan would have never worked if there was not mutual trust, Ratio wouldn’t have gone to Penacony in the first place if he didn’t trust Aventurine, and Aventurine wouldn’t have asked him to come if he did not trust him. We don’t just see this trust between Aventurine and Ratio either, and Jade and Topaz both trust him with their cornerstones, but ultimately it’s Ratio who’s physically with him the whole time, risking his life alongside him for the sake of their plan. 

As much as people like to ignore it, lying to the Family members, to Sunday, is extremely dangerous and puts Ratio’s life in danger as much as it does Aventurine’s. Ratio is not an irrational person, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t have faith Aventurine would succeed, he would not have done if he didn’t think he would return. They have absolutely faith in one another and it’s beautiful. 

Aventurine’s first constellation is named “Prisoner’s Dilemma” for a reason. A social experiment in which two prisoners are captured and separated, if they sell the other one out and remain silent, they go free but the other remains in jail for 20 years. If they both sell each other out, they get a sentence of 5 years. 

But if they both remain silent, trust the other, they even if they physically can’t communicate and don’t know what the other says, they get the best possible outcome, only one year in jail each. It requires a sacrifice on both ends, they both still have to go to jail, but only for a year, and only if they trust each other completely, as if the other sells them out they will be in jail for 20.

The prisoners dilemma relies completely on trust, and it’s the exact situation Aventurine and Ratio face in the Penacony quests. Aventurines doubts if Ratio’s betrayal was real or not, even if he set it up himself, and Ratio worries about Aventurines survival, if continuing this plan will end well. “You can’t expect a featherless bird to take flight” isn’t just Ratio chastising Sunday, he’s genuinely worried that this plan will put Aventurine at too much of a disadvantage to continue on. 

But they both trust each other, and if just like in the Dilemma neither come out completely unscathed (although it’s much worse on Aventurine’s end), they ultimately achieve their goal. 

God is it sweet and corny in the best way possible 

I want to kill this fandoms perception of stoic, emotionless Ratio because once people realize he’s actually the corniest mf ever is the day I sleep easy. He makes statues of himself doing Jojo poses, he plays chess versus himself, he named himself Veritas (truth), he loves rubber duckies, he literally sits in a bathtub couch, and Aventurine breaths and he gets flustered.

Ratio so deeply silly, chronically corny, it’s a crime he needs to be locked up someone stop him. 

And Aven brings that out of him. His teasing reveals the goofball trying so desperately to disguise himself as a serious scholar. Ratio is very smart of course, but that only makes his silliness better, as you watch this absolute genius of a man behave like a tsundere schoolgirl. 

It’s not like Aventurine is some paragon of seriousness either, he’s the one teasing Ratio, fucking around even in a serious mission. Yeah it’s partly because he wants Sunday to think he’s incompetent, but it’s also because Aventurine genuinely is having fun, enjoying himself before the serious part of the plan kicks in, and the meantime he does that by messing with Ratio.

Their dynamic of Aventurine messing with Ratio, and Ratio trying desperately to pretend like it doesn’t affect him is as hilarious and heartwarming as it is tragic, and that dichotomy is why I love them so much. It’s fun and it hurts so so much because their interactions being this flavor of silly leaves almost no room for the sincerity they both desperately need from one another. 

AND GOD I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. RATIO MENTAL BREAKDOWN SCENE PLEAASEEE LET HIS WALLS CRUMBLE PLEEEEAASEE PLEASE PELADE PLEASEEEE EPLES DOLS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

They’ve gotten closer and closer and closer and soon something’s gonna snap because they are so close yet so distant and if something doesn’t change the tension is just gonna boil over AND I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. I need more Ratio scenes I need more interactions with him I need him with his guard down I need him to profess out loud that he cares about Aventurine I need him to break please he needs it, it would be so good for him. It doesn’t even have to be from Aventurine, just Ratio snapping and revealing the fucking mess he is under his facade and not being rejected by the people he cares about for it is enough.

I honestly doubt it will happen in the story though, as much as I want it to. Although Aventurine’s character demo somewhat changed my mind against this, I feel like hoyo is like “ok they get the vibe between these two we can move on” and the shippers are left to extrapolate how this relationship would go beyond what it is now. As much as I want a breakdown scene for Ratio in general, it probably wouldn’t happen in a while but devs if you are reading this PLEASEEEE. 

The only time Ratio ever gets slightly out of his element is with Aventurine but I need it to go further because god it would be interesting.

Well I’ve deemed that enough yapping about why I love Aventio (for now 😈) so let’s talk about why people hate the ship and why most of the reasons behind it a fucking stupid. (Massive disclaimer of course you can dislike it it’s just a lot of the “oh it’s a horrible ship and anyone who likes it sucks” shit isn’t grounded in reality in the slightest and I’m tired of the slander)

“Ratio was racist to Aventurine”

Now this is a spicy one because if this post was made in 2.0 I would 100% agree with you (during that time I shipped a non canon version of them in which that did not happen because how dare u do my boy like that hoyo). However 2.1 changed a lot and I mean a lot, and basically reframed the 2.0 quests for everyone.

Essentially, Ratio and Aventurine were both acting in that argument scene, making the things Ratio said to Aventurine not how he really sees him, and actively something Aventurine wanted him to say, so you cannot blame him for what he said. I’m not even joking or exaggerating, retrospectively it quite literally does not make sense if you view it in any other way, and honestly even with just the knowledge of 2.0 the scene doesn’t make sense if played straight, so let’s get to why.

a) Ratio and Racism do not mix fundamentally. Ratio is a person who believes that everyone deserves and education regardless of background, that it is a scholars duty to help others achieve that, and no matter who you are, you are capable of intelligence, learning and becoming the best version of yourself, and that those qualities are just limited to geniuses.

THIS AND RACISM DO NOT MIX. “Oh yeah education and improvement is possible for everyone except this specific group of people for some fucking reason!!” Like not only would this scene being serious contradict Ratios entire character, the man who believes people should not be judged for their educational background judging Aventurine for his educational background (that’s actually what the Sigonian upbringing line meant, it was mistranslated in the EN version)??!?!! Make it make sense.

Moreover, half this perception also come from the fact that hoyo made the incredible writing decision of naming Aventurines planet after a slur for Romani people, so unfortunately literally anytime its name, Sigonia, is brought up you’re essentially saying a slur. It’s much worse in the CN version, in EN it’s not obvious at all, because our version of the slur (it starts with a g and ends with a y that’s all the hints you’re getting), doesn’t look like the version of the slur that the name for Sigonia was derived from, which is partly the source of this misconception as I’m pretty certain most people assumed Ratio (and by extension Sparkle) said a slur elsewhere in the conversation when in reality them referring to Avens ethnicity/background/planet IS the slur.

Anyways terrible writing decisions aside, Ratio supposedly being racist doesn’t just contradict his core motivation, it contradicts his job. He’s a scholar, for fucks sake, and racism is inherently illogical. Mmm yes I’m gonna base my identity around finding truth for myself and I will believe government and social propaganda about specific groups of people! Very logical, very scholarly, we all clapped. 

So yeah, doesn’t make sense on a character level, to the point that in 2.0 I concluded that they must be using Ratio as a plot device in that scene to deliver some of Aven’s backstory to the audience due to how OOC it was for him 😭. However I wasn’t necessarily wrong, Ratio was delivering some of Aventurines backstory to AN audience (not just us), and he was behaving OOC in the 2.0 scene, but it was on purpose.

b) The betrayal plan 

Aventurine forms a plan in which him and Ratio pretend to betray one another in order to sneak the Aventurine cornerstone into the dreamscape by replacing it with the Topaz stone (red herring + black hole scene dialogue implies she and Jade are there for other reasons) and the Jade stone (perfect dupe). 

Now this betrayal hinges on Sunday, their main antagonist buying it, actually believing that Ratio would betray Aventurine on a mission as important as Penacony, and it requires Sunday also buying that he is winning the whole time, that the loss of the cornerstones was somehow a fumble on Aventurine’s end rather than something he planned all along. 

So, they stage the 2.0 conversation. Ratio yells at Aventurine for losing the cornerstones, something which was part of their plan the whole time. He then insults Aventurine’s background allowing Aventurine to reveal key details of his past that Sunday would not have learned otherwise, which he uses in the trial against Aventurine. Seriously, Aventurine only found out he was the last Avgin when he became a Stoneheart, do y’all think Sunday summoned that info with his mind or something during the trial (like do you guys genuinely think Sunday read his wiki or something)

Moreover, Ratio not only insults him, but portrays Aventurine as useless, disposable to the IPC because he is apparently already sentenced to death. Why does he do this? Well, so Sunday feels confident enough to do the same to Aventurine. Seriously, sentencing an IPC member, especially a high ranking one to death is a risky move, even for someone as convicted as Sunday, he would need the confidence to do so and learning Aven might already die would give him that ability. 

Because well, it doesn’t matter that much if he’s already going to get disposed of in the near future. I also think the IPC plans to use Aventurine’s “death” as leverage against the family because they were pleased to hear of his death sentence according to Dr. Ratio, meaning a) he likely did not have one from them at the time, although in the past he was sentenced to death and b) even if Aventurine succeeded in getting the cornerstone his seeming loss in the rest of the conversation wasn’t actually a loss at all, getting sentenced to death/“dying” at the very least was part of the plan all along as the IPC could still use it as leverage if things went south.

Continually, Ratio treating Aventurine in the exact same sh1tty way the rest of the galaxy does perfectly slots him into the arrogant, uncaring scholar role, which Sunday knows are some of the most easily manipulated people in the galaxy, considering he tries to bribe Ratio with knowledge about Stellarons it seems he bought this idea hook line and sinker. Sunday isn’t even subtle about it either “I heard you and your companion haven’t been getting along lately” where did he hear that from? Ratio didn’t tell him, and even though we know Sunday was 100% watching the two of them on their little adventure pre-meeting him (the bird and hound statues) that scene hasn’t happened yet so where did he get that from?

Some other interesting proof for it is that the Final Victor lightcone likely depicts Aventurine trying to convince Ratio of this plan of his, the events of which must occur  pre-Penacony for several reasons, the least of which being that we just never see it happen on Penacony which if you think it did we would see it. Moreover lightcones are canonically condensed memories and the Final Victor lightcone released in 2.0, meaning it’s the memory of something that happened before then. 

All signs point to the 2.0 scene, the one people use to paint Aventio as toxic being staged. And I have so much more evidence for this, (Ratio would never agree to go without a plan, Aven clearly formed his pre-Penaocny, so much of the plan like Ratio opening the cornerstone box, which he can’t do up until the betrayal as it’s in Sundays possession, rely on him arriving knowing how to do so, the time discrepancies, the complete 180 in personality Ratio would have to do to go from distrusting Aventurine to putting his whole faith in him, etc), but I will reupload one of my old slideshows to elaborate more on it. Basically the one thing that people use to say it’s toxic is not true and is in fact a greater show of the trust between those two. 

“The shippers are all weird and racist” 

Now this one actually has some truth to it because yes there are some incredibly fucking weird Aventio shippers and I do not blame yall for disliking them.

HOWEVER, most Aventio shippers are normal and hate that shit just as much as you guys do. Like do you realize most shippers also really like these characters and have something insane called morals so they don’t automatically excuse racist fujoshi goobers just because they are making content for their favorite ship. Trust me someone doing that pisses me (and most other Aventio shippers) off significantly more than people who hate the ship. Also free Ratio from this shit man poor guy is getting mischaracterized as a slaveowner by his fans and haters 😭

And like guys, have you ever been in a fandom before, like ever? Weirdos are always gonna be weird and it’s not Aventio’s fault they are this months victims. For a fun little example of how gross other fanbases can be, one of the most popular Overwatch ships on ao3 is Genji Shimada X Hanzo Shimada WHO ARE BLOOD RELATED BROTHERS. THERES LIKE 300+ FICS OF IT, SHIMADACEST IS LITERALLY A TAG ON THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES SEARCHING FOR GENJI HANZO ANGST FICS (Hanzo killed Genji it’s complicated doomed siblings will always get me) AND HAVING TO COMB THROUGH THOSE ABOMINATIONS IN THE PROCESS.

Like please I’m relatively new to fandom culture but yall cannot be acting like this is weird for fans to do, it’s weirdo behavior but it is not unique to the HSR fandom or even Aventio. And even if understandably this makes you not like the ship, don’t paint the people who enjoy it as being the people who do this kinda sh1t. It’s not our fault peak gets tainted by miserable creatures ok, let normal ppl have their harmless fun and stop lumping people together into a monolith. 

?????

Well that’s it that’s all the “valid” reasons people have for hating Aventio, at least the ones I can remember. Everything else is just personal opinion and not at all an objective reason.

“They’re so sibling coded!”

Anyways again obviously you can still dislike it not everything is for everyone, I really just wanted to make this post to demonstrate why I and many others like it, and why the reasons people use to say it’s problematic are incorrect. Feel free to call it mid, block it whatever I don’t care, just don’t harass shippers for having some harmless fun, because the characters aren’t real but the people who like them are and in doing so you are really just being a jerk for no reason. If you somehow hate Aventio and read this the whole way through I congratulate you on your ability to actually listen to other people, and regardless of whether you changed your mind or not I respect you for doing so anyways. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. 

#Hsr #honkai star rail #dr ratio #aventurine #aventio #raturine #ratiorine #golden ratio #tags for reach bc I need ppl to read this sorry #Also apologies to the Genji/Hanzo shippers for catching strays yall tend to mind your business and tag ur shit #So I can’t blame you that much for it even if I find it gross bc if I don’t wanna see it it’s very easy to not see it #I just wanted to give an example of how the hsr fandom is not unique in its weirdness #Ppl are horrible at tagging shit in this fandom #The next time I read an Aventio fic w surprise dubcon I’m gonna die #Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading bc this was sm fun to write #Aventio is peak we all cheered #aventurine hsr #dr ratio hsr

[aeomianamoure]

I wanna see emo Kai being a pervy loser!!

— emo kai being your pervy loser bestfriend to boyfriend!

warnings <3: !smut, kai corrupting reader, !dark and toxic kai, !reader is sweet but a bit of a loser as well, takes place in college, !coquette reader, ddlg themes, !plot twist, kai is a bit of a stalker in this, mentions of other txt members, reader is a crybaby, mentions of smut, actual smut, free use!

a/n <3: i have a feeling ill do better writing these type of fics :3

kai was infatuated with you; from the moment his then only friend yeonjun introduced you to him, and he fears it’s only worsen more and more over time. “so kai this is y/n, and y/n this is kai” yeonjun introduced you both to eachother, “maybe now you can stop clinging onto me” yeonjun half joked hitting kai’s shoulder passive aggressively making the younger wince grabbing his now assaulted shoulder before walking away. you’d immediately frown getting closer to kai before lightly reaching out to massaging his shoulder, “he’s such a dick, im sorry kai” you’d place a light kiss on his forming bruise making kai’s eyes widen in shock as he rapidly bow his head down to you to show his gratitude

“so i was thinking for the project i could go over your house? i’d let you come over mine but my parents said no boys allowed” you’d ask kai with a small frown and kai not being able to say no to you, he’d nod his head rapidly making you smile with a excited clap before you paid attention to your assignment again causing kai to shakes his head, but then panic runs through his head thinking about how you would react once you stepped foot in his room

kai was shocked when you started gasping and oohing over his manga collection, “you like chobits too?” you’d ask carefully pulling the manga out of his shelf with a shy smile, kai still hasn’t warmed up to speaking to you much so he nods. “i always thought i was the only one who liked this type of anime at our school” you’d giggle “hey whenever we can should watch the anime together” you’d suggest and kai sighed in relief at how you seemed to like his bedroom

what he liked most about you was your kindness, your ability to see only the good in people and not being judgmental at all; “so yeonjunnie said i need to stop hanging out with you” you’d pout as you leaped into kai’s bed starling him a bit. “what? what do you mean?” he would ask his heart racing at that comment “yeonjun said you’re weird and off putting and a total loser but i think he’s just full of it! don’t worry i defended you and told him that i’d rather be your friend than his” you’d nod your head making the black haired boy smile down at you

“what are you listening to?” you come up from behind scaring the shit of kai, “holy shit y/n don’t scare me like that!” he would roll his eyes making you giggle an apology. “im listening to yeah boy and doll face by pierce the veil” and you laugh at this, “yeonjun was right you really are an emo loser” making kai roll his eyes once again before he begins to tackle you with aggressive tiggles

valentine’s day rolled around and you were sad to say the least since kai was now where to be seen that day. everyone knew you were pretty but not exactly dateable material yet it sucked being reminded that during special days like these, that was until you were surprised with a stuffed bunny in your locker. you frown your eyebrows gently cradling it into your arms tilting your head at the pink love letter attached to its limps. you being curious you open it kinda shocked but you couldn’t deny it made you blush once you’ve read it. the letter containing dirty things like how you were being watched, how in love this mysterious stalker was with you, how you failed to notice your lacy undergarments including your stockings go missing along with your lip gloss and pink ribbon bows. how pretty you looked asleep during your after school naps in nothing but a crop top and a mini skirt. but what made you turn red the most was the explicit details about wanting to take your virginity. you couldn’t lie you were a bit scared now at how this stalker knew about you still being a virgin but still excited that somebody took an interest to you even if it was a total creep.

you couldn’t deny it to yourself anymore, you were beginning to fall for your bestfriend kai. as the love letters only became more perverted and more frequent you’d begin to imagine it was kai behind all of this. you began to sleep with the thought in your head making it appear in your dreams, you became so obsessed with the idea of kai being your stalker it became the reason why you touched yourself, with needy shameful rubs as you struggled to make yourself orgasm since you really didn’t know how to but you still tried nonetheless. but after all of that trying, you still would cry yourself to sleep because of how guilty you felt to be wishing your bestfriend who has been nothing but sweet to you to be the perv sending you those letters what’s wrong with me?

you began to ignore kai making him secretly angry with you but you didn’t notice, you were too distracted with imagining him to be your stalker and then feeling ashamed of it. you thought of that idea so much you didn’t even connect the puzzle that kai really was your stalker when you opened a very angry letter on the same day kai was angry with you, the letter containing a lot of curse words along with the very violent things your stalker wanted to do to you if you didn’t stop ignoring him making you very confused.

it wasn’t until the later that night you realized the stuffed bunny you were gifted had a camera in its left eye making you flush in embarrassment as you gently tucked it under your pink bed sheets in attempt of the person who you had hoped it was kai to be able to see you sleep better

you eventually got tired of ignoring kai and you missed him so you finally answered his hundreds of text messages and phone calls apologizing and making up some excuse for your behavior sighing in worry as kai immediately forgave you also inviting you over his room for a night of anime binging and video gaming to make up for lost time

you’d tremble at kai shifting behind you placing his hands on top of yours while you carefully held onto his extra ps5 controller in attempt of showing you how to play texas chainsaw massacre; “you also have to stay still to avoid being caught by the family y/n i know it’s a lot to remember but the more you play with me the more you’ll get used to it” kai laughs sheepishly at your pout but you nod nonetheless.

later that night, you begin to drift away to sleep failing to notice your bestfriend kai sitting up behind you violently stroking his shaft with your missing lacy panties trying his best to keep quiet but it was kinda hard to when you were this close to him. eventually you woke up but kai failed to notice seeing how he was clearly busy so you decided to take matters into your own hands and gently turn around racing him latching your tiny (he thought it was tiny) fist around his cock before bringing your lips down on it making him gasp as he opens his eyes to look down at you but he’s so far gone in pleasure he doesn’t say anything. you sigh happily drinking him in your mouth as you begin to rub your pussy through your pajama shorts you couldn’t believe your dream of letting kai use your mouth as he pleases was finally coming true

you’d blush pink as you awake in kai’s arms from last night, seeing him peacefully watch you rest before remembering what happened and immediately feeling guilty for just sucking him off like that without saying anything. “kai? im really sorry for just forcing myself on you like that it was very cruel and you’re my best friend and i shouldn’t have done that it was my first time doing something so sexual and i’m really sorry i don’t know what came over me!” you’d ramble letting tears fall down your face as you hug your bestfriend apologizing over and over again. kai’s eyes soften at your apology before he lightly cradles you into his lap holding you as he whispers, “it’s okay y/n, i know you’re just a little girl and can’t help getting all needy and wanting to use your mouth with me” and you freeze, how does he know that you like that pet name?

you and kai never really spoke about what happened that sleepover, but you do use it as a way to get yourself off. the letters from your stalker getting sweet again but you’re starting to get more grumpy with how the stalker refused to reveal himself. you let out a sigh in frustration and lay down in bed reaching down between your legs rubbing your clit for the nth time that week and begin suckling on your fingers, needly whimpering at the memory of kai telling you how pretty you looked with your mouth full of cock. you let out a weak cry and a kick of your feet at how you failed to cum though before a wicked idea pops in your head as you reach over your stuffed bunny dragging it in between your thighs as you relentlessly rub against it surprising kai as he begins to watch you and he could have swore he came untouched when he heard you whine his name

“could i have some of your ice cream?” kai spoke up as you sat behind him rewatching chobits with him and you nod feeding him some. “thanks” he’d smile “you know i love you right?” he adds on nonchalantly as he turns his attention back to the tv making your blood run cold

you guys never spoke of kai’s confession, but still remained close friends frustrating you. why hasn’t he asked me to be my boyfriend already? you’d huff your cheeks out laying down in bed drifting away to sleep then kai takes his cue and steps into your room from your window smiling down at your now sleeping state. the boy held his breathe itching closer to you lifting up your bedsheets turning you gently to your back as your eyes flutter open as you immediately felt your pussy get wet again

“kai?” you spoke up seeing kai quickly undress you both but you didn’t show any sign of denying him “shh you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to fuck you” kai shushes you as you freeze. “you’ve been wanting to fuck me?” you’d smile a little blushing at the thought of being wanted. with a nod he speaks again, “ever since you sucked me off like that i haven’t been able to control myself i hope you’re not scared”

you’d gasp softly at the sight of your pussy being stretched around kai’s cock gently grabbing his forearm feeling him rut deeper and deeper into your gummy walls making your breath hitch. “be gentle” you’d hiccup “im.. im a virgin..” “i know”

“what? how did you know that?” your doe eyes weakly open again “you’re not really that dumb are you?” kai laughs menacingly at your wide eyes “come on baby really? you do know that i’m the one sending you all those letters right?” “the love letters?” you’d squeak. kai laughs again, moving to an angle to hit a specific spot in your stomach. “you think i write those letters to you out of love?”

you began to tear up feeling your pussy torn apart in two, “kai” you let out a dry sob “it hurts no more” you’d whine feeling overstimulated at how much you cummed that night “just one more baby yeah? just one more” kai hushed you and you whimpered feeling a knot in your stomach

“do you wanna be my girlfriend?” kai murmured half asleep and you nod. “you’re my boyfriend now right?” you’d speak up making kai laugh at you now waking up. “yes of course” he kisses you lightly making you squeal in delight

a/n: sorry if this isn’t the best 💔

#angelina’s garden ♡! #coquette #emo boyfriend #emo x coquette #txt x reader #txt #txt x y/n #txt smut #txt oneshots #txt reactions #txt headcanons #txt imagines #txt kai #yandere #yandere txt #yandere kai

[gyuhanniesworld]

livin’ like angels, lovin’ like devils

pairings: Mingyu!non-idol, Jeonghan!non-idol x reader

genre: 🔞 MDNI smut

warnings: porn!withoutplot, poly relationship, overstimulation, oral (m and f receiving), dom!mingyu, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, mentions of a feast, unprotected sex (pls don’t do this! always cover up), penetration, anal, dacryphilia, squirting, if you’re not comfortable with mxm then you’re free to scroll down. pls tell me if i forgot to mention anything

an: hi! this is my 2nd fic here (since i’m too much of a coward to post the first one). i’m still pretty new to writing smut (i just really love reading them but writing them??). please, don’t be shy on leaving your reviews so i could make more (probably) and better ones in the future hihi. p.s. this was not proofread so im sorry ☺️

—————

“welcome home, princess!” was the first thing you heard when you entered your flat.

you just closed a deal with a big client today but you were also swamped with loads of paperwork. you were just so tired but seeing your boyfriend greeting you just took all of the tiredness away.

mingyu ran towards you and spun you around. you squealed and laughed at your cute boyfriend. “we just got the news! congratulations on that deal, baby. i knew you were working so hard for that.” he said as he littered your face with kisses. even after dating for over a year now, you would still get shy when he overloaded you with love and compliments.

“hey! it’s my turn, gyu.” another voice spoke behind him as mingyu placed you down. you smiled at jeonghan as he embraced you. “congratulations, baby. we got the news before we got home so..” he whispered to your head as he placed a kiss on your forehead. he took a step back and revealed the feast they prepared. you gasped as you saw the cake that said ‘that’s our princess!’.

you whipped around and enclosed both your boyfriends in a warm hug. “thank you so much, my loves.” you kissed each of them on the cheek and plopped yourself on a chair.

“someone’s hungry.” mingyu joked as he prepared the three of you a plate.

“i’m starving!” you perked while pouting to your other boyfriend who was behind you, massaging your back. you smiled as they started talking about their day and what happened in the office.

nothing could get better than this.

——————————

you woke up with a moan.

you just felt something was different when you could feel the warm tongue of your boyfriend practically french-kissing your clit. another moan elicited from your mouth when another mouth enclosed itself on one of your nipples. both your hands were on their heads before you could think.

“well, good m- ugh morning to the both of you.” you practically sighed as you watched with half lided eyes both your boyfriends get to work. mingyu, who was slotted in-between your thighs, stopped his licking and smirked at you. “i see our princess is awake.” you took a hold of his hair and dragged his face towards you, kissing him with labored breaths.

“hey! what about me?” you stopped making out with the big man to see your beautiful and whiny boyfriend pout at you. “c’mere.” you took a hold of his neck and kissed him next. jeonghan whined at your mouth as you dragged a hand across his chest and towards the band of his underwear, slightly teasing him with some light scratching.

mingyu, who was abandoned for a while, resorted to kissing your neck while fondling with your other boob. you couldn’t resist the urge to grind on his front, making him grab onto your hips, grounding your plump back to his hardness.

“i see that both of you are needy this morning.” you say as you break your kiss from jeonghan. he takes this time to shuffle towards your aching slick and eat you out.

your head was going haywire with all of the overstimulating and you were going dumb. you were now on top of mingyu while jeonghan was making himself pretty busy with your aching nub.

“please, just fuck me already.” you sighed as the bigger man made you sit up and remove his undergarments. jeonghan placed a final kiss on you before removing his.

“want to take us both this early, baby?” jeonghan asked as he started to tie your hair back while mingyu slowly stroked his dick. you were salivating at the scene when jeonghan finished tying your hair, grabbing onto it and making you look up.

“you look so beautiful, princess. we’re gonna take care of you now, hmm?” he whispered as he claimed your mouth with his. you separated yourself from him to kiss your other boyfriend who was starting to look impatient. “you gonna break me, pretty boy?” you ask as he nodded and kissed you hungrily. he bit on your upper lip to make you open up. his tongue fighting with dominance as you try to keep up.

jeonghan took your hand and guided it to his leaking dick. you started stroking him and you could hear his quiet moans. mingyu broke the kiss and situated his head in between your legs again. “what are you doing, baby?” you asked him as he positioned himself below your wetness. “ride my face, princess. my face is your thrown.” he said as he basically forced you to sit on his face. you cried out as he swirled his tongue on you while jeonghan used the moment to thrust in your mouth. you shook as you looked into jeonghan’s eyes with tears in yours.

“awe. you’re loving this, aren’t you princess? getting your pretty pussy ate and your mouth fucked at the same time?” he cooed as he started to go deeper, into your throat. you nodded as did your best to take all of him into your mouth. you were starting to feel the familiar coil on the pit of your stomach when you took his dick out your mouth and sucked on his balls. jeonghan whipped his head back and released a low grown.

“yeah, suck on my balls. you just love having them in your mouth, yeah?” he gritted as he held your head while stroking his cock with the other. you cried as mingyu denied you of your release.

“you wanna come on my face, princess?” gyu asked as he started licking your ass, making your cry out more.

“please, daddy. make me cum. i’ll be a good girl, i promise.” you whimpered as you felt his mouth ghosting on your pussy while trying to please your other boyfriend.

“you gonna do anything we say, baby? anything?” jeonghan asked as he knelt by your side, kissing on your neck towards your chest.

“yes, daddy. i’ll do whatever you want.” you cried as you grew desperate for release. jeonghan chuckled as he looked at you with tears rolling down your face. “is it that bad, baby? you want both of our cocks in those pretty holes of yours?” he cooed as he grab a hold of your hair.

“yes, daddy! i want you both destroying both my holes! please, just fuck me hard.” you moaned as he swallowed your cries and picked you up, leaving you whining as your cunt was left unaccompanied.

“you think you can still stand up, princess?” gyu asked as he helped you up. you nodded as he captured your mouth for another kiss while jeonghan kneeled in front of your leaking cunt. he kissed you before enveloping the swollen nub in his mouth, moaning as he got a taste of you.

you were a crying mess and you looked so fucked out, it turned gyu on more. he was basically holding you up as he kissed down your neck and towards your back. “lean on the table and lift your leg up.” mingyu stated. you weren’t the most flexible person out there but when it came down to these two, you would probably in the olympics by now.

both of them were on you now and you just couldn’t so anything but cry. this was another level of overstimulating and you were so sick to be loving every bit of it. you loved the attention the both of then were offering you.

mingyu’s mouth was on your ass while jeonghan was preoccupied with your pussy, lapping and fingering it for his cock. “tell us how you’re loving this, princess. i wanna know how you’re feeling and how you want us.” jeonghan spoke as he continued lapping on your swollen clit.

you swallowed the pooling saliva on your mouth. “i love how you’re making me feel, daddies. i love how you’re fucking me with your fingers while daddy tongues my butt. i just want that both of you in me now. please.” you cried as you feel yourself shake with everything going on.

“i think that’s enough, babe.” jeonghan says as mingyu removed his mouth from your behind. he grabs a hold of mingyu’s neck as he goes in for a kiss. your eyes go wide and a moan was out of your mouth at this new scene. they were pretty much straight when the three of you got in this relationship and well, you didn’t know what was going on when you weren’t around. you were going to have a talk after this.

you watch as the two beautiful men made out. mingyu’s hands were exploring jeonghan’s body while jeonghan stroked the bigger man’s big cock. oh my god. you could feel yourself dripping from the scene as your hands subconsciously made their way towards your chest and your pussy. you were already going insane and they weren’t even inside you, yet.

“look, babe. our princess is so turned on with this right now.” mingyu said as jeonghan knelt in front of him, starting to take his cock in his mouth. you bit your lip to stop another moan from getting out as you saw your pretty boyfriend give head to the bigger one. you didn’t know why but you were so turned on and could just finish with just watching them.

“should we fuck her hard now?” jeonghan asked as he stood up and had his nipple sucked my mingyu. dear god, this was not good for your sanity.

“who said you could fuck yourself, huh, baby?” mingyu asked as he removed himself from jeonghan and strutted towards you. he removed your hands from your pussy and licked on your fingers. “please. make me cum, daddy.” you mumbled as he picked you up, opening you up for jeonghan, as well.

“you still okay, princess?” jeonghan asked as he took a hold of mingyu’s cock and brushed it over your pussy. both of moaned as you felt it push in your ass. you let our a scream as you felt the familiar stretch. mingyu had a beautiful long, tanned and thick cock while jeonghan had a prettier, longer but thinner cock.

“oh my god oh my god oh my god. fuck, you’re filling me up gyu.” you stammered as you felt him go in inch by inch. you were given a few seconds to breathe until another cock plunged in your pussy.

“fuck! you feel so tight, princess. i could just come right now.” jeonghan said as they started moving together. you didn’t have any other choice but to grab a hold of jeonghan’s neck and kiss him. you could hear mingyu groaning at how tight you are.

“you want us to cum in you, princess? does our pretty little cumslut want us to fill you up with our cum?” gyu asked with gritted teeth as he felt his end coming. you nodded as moaned with the two of them. they were in sync and were reaching the deepest parts of you. jeonghan’s breathing was getting shorter, a clear sign that he was cumming soon.

after a few more strokes, your bedroom was filled with cries and moans from the two of them but you were different. their paces were animalistic and as you were chanting their names, you felt yourself break loose. jeonghan moaned as you squirted on both his and mingyu’s cock.

“fuck! that was so hot, baby. didn’t know you could do that.” mingyu praised as he moved you up and down his cock, riding you through his orgasm. jeonghan smirked at the mess you made on him. you grew shy as he swiped his cock that had your release and placed it on his mouth, moaning at your combined taste.

mingyu slowly removed you from his cock and groaned as he took your fucked out state on your bed. you had your eyes closed and both of your boyfriends plopped themselves on either side of the bed.

“wow.” you said as you placed an arm over your forehead.

“you think you could still walk, princess?” mingyu asked as he kissed the side of your head. you chuckled as you open your eyes to see both your boyfriends staring at you adoringly. you propped yourself up to see the clock that read 10:34 A.M. you plopped yourself down on the bed and sighed.

“you made me late, again.” you stated. you heard the both of them giggle as they spooned you back to sleep.

you were definitely getting an earful from seungkwan tomorrow.

#jeonghan smut #mingyu smut #seventeen fic #yoon jeonghan #kim mingyu #seventeen smut #seventeen #yoon jeonghan smut #kim mingyu smut #gyuhanniesworld writes #jeonghan #jeonghan imagines #mingyu #mingyu imagines

[rainylana]

“I’m always going to take care of you.” Alternate version!

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: this is a new version of my old series i wrote last year. so many people have asked to see more of how eddie deals with such a horrible thing happening to the reader, so here we go, this is for you!

warnings: PLEASE READ! this is purposely written, in the beginning, as fast paced. i was trying to establish a sense of anxiety and fear while writing it because of how quickly it happened. the assault happens differently and does not go into much detail this chapter, but will during the next. i purposely switched povs because i still wanted to give insight to the reader. so with that being said, warnings for this fic include: rape, blood and bruises, broken bones, hospitalization, language, smoking of weed, trauma and shock, lots of tears and angst. please, please, let me know what you thought and if there’s anything i need to go about differently. it’s been a year since i’ve properly revisited this series. i feel like this version will be much darker and will take more of a toll. let me know your thoughts and if anything needs changed. i never spellcheck lol. this one’s for all of us. i see you and feel you. much love, lana.

Steve Harrington’s parties were the kind that were talked about for weeks on end. The music, the food, the house. It was a mansion, and there had been many of times were you and Eddie had slept in multiple rooms of that house, unbeknownst to the owners knowledge.

This party was no different. Bodies were on bodies, beer was spilled and the pool was splashing every drop of water out into the flower bed, that was no covered in trash. There was a basketball court that entertained the jocks. It was an absolute mansion.

You were somewhere. Eddie would see you from time to time getting more beer or a snack, coming over to check on him. He closed his eyes, taking a long drag and leaned against the wall. “Shit, this shit is good.” He coughed slightly, letting his arms fall at his sides, black sleeves pulled up at his elbows.

You found him eventually, hair slightly wet from being splashed at the pool, a towel wrapped around your shoulders. Most everyone was wearing their bathing suits. You smiled when you sat down beside him, laughing at the redness of his eyes. “Feelin good, Eddie?” You tapped his chin.

He grinned at you goofily. “Shit, is the shit, babe. Wanna try?” He offered it to you.

You plopped down on your ass and sat beside him, saying hi to all the others that joined the circle. You laid your head on his shoulder. “Sure you don’t want to come swim with me, Ed? It feels good. Moons out, too. It could be romantic.”

“I give you plenty of romance, darlin’.” He said through hooded eyes, armed laid lazily around your wet shoulders. “Damn, your tits are out!” He exclaimed, finally realizing you had changed, eyes bulging for dramatics.

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “My tits are not out. Everyone is wearing them! You picked it out, don’t you remember?”

“Baby, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much of anything right now.” He was practically drooling at the mouth, giggling like a child and floating off into space.

“Uh, huh.” You gave him a look before turning to the rest of the group. “He’s cut off.”

He was too stoned to realize what you had said, curling up in himself and lulling his head against the wall, eyes drooping closed.

“Eddie, Eddie, oh, okay,” You sighed, watching as he fell asleep. “I’m serious, Gareth, make sure he doesn’t do anything else. I got to carry this guy home, you know.”

You sat with Eddie for almost an hour, making sure he was alright. He always was. He always got tired when he smoked weed, you did too, but not near as much as he did. You gave him a kiss on the cheek, telling everyone else you’d be back and that you were going to change your clothes.

You went to the same room you always did, walked up the same steps and same corridor, the air cool against the exposure of your wet skin. Nobody was upstairs. You had planned for a quick change and nothing more, but you hadn’t any idea what was waiting for you behind the door, or the fact you were being followed.

•

Eddie was in and out of it, waking up here and there if someone spoke loudly enough. Dustin kept laughing, about what, he didn’t know or care. He just wanted to sleep. Later on he would realize that it was probably an act of God that he heard you, because there was no scientific explanation for it. He shouldn’t have heard you.

The music was booming loud, playing a hit from Blondie over the speakers. People were chugging beers, getting high and fucking out in the shed outside, the bedrooms above. The lights were flashing on and off, mixtures of colors painting the walls, their bodies. There was no way he could of heard you, yet he did.

He felt as if he were dreaming at first. His eyes were still closed, body numb from the awkward position he was in. It felt like a loud thumping at first, like something had hit the floor. Then a crash, something had broke. Then a high pitched noise, someone had screamed. It had to have been a dream, because he swore it was you.

Eddies eyes peeled open slowly, foggy and clouded from his high, but he didn’t feel so good anymore, and was left with a chill up his spine. He looked to the right of him to find you gone. “Gareth?” His voice was gravely and deep. “Where’d y/n go?”

Gareth pointed up the stairs quickly, eager to get back to his conversation with Robin about her thoughts on the new Back to the Future movie. Eddie had pushed himself up and found the stairs. It was a mansion, having had to climb four sets of stairs before he could find the hallway. Each set he could hear it clearer. He still shouldn’t have. The music was too loud. He could feel the vibrations underneath his feet against the wood flooring.

He walked quicker and quicker, the sounds of crashing, screaming, begging, becoming louder and louder. Soon, he heard his own name, and he knew it was you. He was running then, as fast as he could to find you. And when he did, the last door on the left, the same room you both had slept in many of times, he was brought to pure horror.

•

You weren’t entirely sure what was happening. Well, you did. You had been raped. You were just confused what was happening now. You were sitting up, staring blankly at the floor. Eddie was down at your feet, saying something, saying a lot of things, actually, but you couldn’t hear him. It sounded like he was underwater. Your ears were ringing, and he kept dabbing his hand under your nose. Were you bleeding?

Your hands were vibrating, along with the other parts of your body, shaking like you were having a seizure. Surely you’d pass out soon. Everything you felt was heightened. The pain, the emotion, or lack of. You soon realized you were going into shock.

You felt everything, yet nothing, all at the same time.

•

Four seconds.

It had taken four seconds for Eddie to react. Four seconds for him to decide what to do. He’d found you bent over the bed, hands pinned above your head and legs split apart. The man above you, twice your size, twice his size, a man he’d never seen before, raping you. It had taken him four seconds to react.

The man above you had stopped when Eddie had come in, staring at him in the act with a look of surprise and shock. Eddie lunged then, knocking the man over and into a side table that crumbled under their weight, a string of punches and curses, the sound of choking and items breaking. There was so much noise, but you didn’t hear any of it. You laid there, bent over, legs spread, a mixture of blood and semen seeping out of you as you stared straight ahead, fixated on the painting in front of you.

Steve and his mom at the beach.

You didn’t hear the sound of Eddie’s cry of pain when your attacker punched the wind out of him, you didn’t hear him run out of the room or Eddie’s footsteps after him, halting halfway and returning back to you. You kept thinking of Steve and his mom. She was so sweet. You really should spend more time with her.

All of that, led to now.

“Baby, baby, please, please, say something!” He panicked, knelt down at your legs, holding your arms to keep you upright, “Oh, God,” He took another look at your legs, covered in blood. “Oh, my god, Oh, my god.” He covered his mouth briefly, not knowing what to do. “Okay, okay,” He jumped up, running to the joining bathroom to grab a towel. “Okay, baby, I got this, see?” He started quickly wiping away at the blood, switching his eyes from his legs to you.

It looked like you’d been killed, or were dying. You said nothing, deathly pale, face stained with tears and mascara, deep bruising that painted your cheeks and eyes purple. Your lip was busted and bleeding. You were shaking with tremors, your breath coming out in little pants that were uneven. You were choking on your sobs, not a single one being allowed out. It hurt to sit, the pain in your abdomen was almost unbearable.

Eddie didn’t realize it himself, but he was also going in to shock. It became harder and harder to get the blood off of you due to his shaky hands, and his breathing become more sporadic and choppy. “I’m getting it, honey. I’m trying.” He said, words coming out in a rush. The towel was stained red when he’d finished, your legs still coated, stained by the blood from inside of you. He looked you over, shaking his head. He didn’t know what to do.

“Y/n,” He gasped, reaching up to grab your face. “Talk to me. Are you hurt? Where does it hurt at?”

You couldn’t look at him. It felt impossible. Your eyes were so heavy. His voice still sounded as if he were underwater, his movements slow, like he was fighting off a current, and you suddenly became freezing, trembling harder like you were out in the snow. Maybe it was the shock.

“Honey, please,” Eddie begged you, eyes tearing up. “I don’t know what to do.”

When he noticed how hard you were shaking, he jumped up and got a blanket from the chair, wrapping it around your body and sitting next to you. “Okay, here, I’m here. Steve!” His scream snapped you out of it, making you gasp and jump.

“No!” Your voice was hoarse, burning as you screamed. “No!” You tried to stand but you collapsed, pointing to the door. “Close the door! Close the door!”

Your urgency made him obey quickly, and he was slamming the door and locking it within a second. “Y/n-”

“You can’t tell anyone!” You sobbed, wobbling on your legs. You were a sight, one that would traumatize him for the rest of his life. “No one, swear it! Let’s just go home!” You we’re a wreck, sobbing, hyperventilating, shaking. Surely you would faint.

“Angel, baby,” He tried to approach you, but you freaked.

“No!” You jumped away. “Don’t- don’t touch me, please!” Was the room getting darker?

“Okay, okay,” He held up his hands, heart racing and bulging, fearful eyes. “I won’t touch you. I’ll stay right here, okay?”

You nodded, mouth opening and closing, feet shuffling, limping, trying to stay upright. Surely, you would faint.

•

His elbows are on his knees, hands pressed against his mouth. The chair he’s in is uncomfortable, an ache in his back that matches the one in his heart. Wayne is there, sitting across from him on the other side of the room. Steve, Nancy, Robin and Dustin are outside in the waiting room, along with the rest of hellfire. He tried to be discreet. Well no, that wasn’t true. When you’d fainted, Eddie lost it.

He’d swooped you up in his arms, carrying you down stairs, a sobbing mess, looking anywhere for anyone, to help. He found Mike first, then Chrissy Cunningham. The party was over very quickly.

“Eddie.” Wayne said tiredly, wearing a puffed, flannel coat. “Why don’t you go home, bud? I’ll stay with her.”

“No.” He didn’t miss a beat. He was staring a hole right through you, eyes so tearful they looked to be made of glass. “I can’t leave her.”

Wayne knew he wouldn’t leave. It was four in the morning, and you hadn’t shown any signs of life. If it weren’t for the machines, Eddie was sure you would have been dead. You were so quiet, not a stir, not a twitch. Were you dreaming? Was it good or a nightmare?

“She’s alright, buddy. You know that.” Wayne could see the telltale signs of his panic attack coming on. “You heard what the doctor said.”

You had abrasions along your vaginal walls. Your nose was broken, now covered with gauze and medical tape. You had two broken ribs, bruises covering your entire body. The doctor had asked him questions he didn’t know the answer to. Eddie knew what had happened, but what had really happened?

You would be okay. He knew that. You were alive and you survived. But were you okay? What would you become when you woke up? You would be totally traumatized, or would you simply move on with life? He knew the answer and he hated himself for knowing it. He knew the pain you were going to suffer when you woke up. He saw it. He saw what it was you would have to endure. A part of him wished you would sleep peacefully forever.

It felt like every vital organ inside of him had been ripped apart, like his stomach had been cut and everything spilled out. He’d thrown up twice since they got to the hospital. It been hours since you both got there. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d saw. Your body being used, abused by a man who had beaten you up, raped you, split you open and left bloody.

“Oh, god, Wayne.” Eddie broke down in sobs, shoulders sinking and face hiding into his hands for a shield, a mask to hide from the world. “This is all my fault.”

The image of you had scared his brain, the mental image something he thought he’d never be able to erase. Through everything he had gone through, this moment here, was the worst moment he had ever lived through, and he himself, would make a deal with god if he could, just to take your place, to take it all away. The love of his life was in pain, and it caused him more hurt than he could have ever imagined.

His uncle looked at him, saddened and distraught for the both of you. “Don’t say that, Eddie. You know she’d hate to hear you say somethin’ like that.”

Eddie’s body shook with heavy, deep and broken cries. “It is. I was asleep. I was asleep and stoned out of my mind while she was being raped right above me!” He practically spat the words with a venomous hatred, throwing out his arm as he looked at you longingly. “I failed her. Her, of all people. I fuckin’ failed the one thing I care about most. How the hell am I supposed to live with this?”

Wayne watched him stare at you, stare at you and cry like he was mourning for the entire world, like you had been taken from him.

“How are we supposed to be okay after this, Wayne?” He looked like a little boy then, looking over to his uncle with big, brown eyes. “How can I…how can she ever forgive me?” Another sob, and another. Wayne was sat beside him now, holding his shoulders as Eddie cried.

“You two have been through hell together.” The old man said, on hand on his nephews new. “You’ll get through this. She will and you will. She stood by your side when you were dying, remember? She helped you through it. It did you both in, but you got through it, didn’t you?

He didn’t answer, but he heard his uncle loud and clear. He didn’t know how he’d do it, but he’d help you in every way he could. He owed it to you. You’d patched him up, held him through nightmares and insecurities about his scars. You fed him, helped clothed him and helped him keep himself clean when he was still too sore to move around. You had put your own life on pause for him. He owed it to you to do the same. In his eyes, it was his own fault it happened, anyways.

“Yeah.” Eddie sniffled, wiping away his tears with his jacket. “Yeah, I- you’re right. You’re right. I can help her. I’ll help her. She’ll be okay.”

“She’ll be okay.” Wayne assured him.

He didn’t realize just how hard it was going to be, how a giant rift in your relationship would almost separate the two of you. That the both of you would be forever changed from that night.

Eddie gulped, blinking back tears as he looked at the steady beating of your heart in the vital screen. “She’ll be okay.”

#eddie munson #i will always take care of you #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things season four #joseph quinn #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x female character #female reader

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

If it’s alright, I have a question about Vil and Epel’s relationship. I understand that the accent changing plot line is just a cultural politeness thing that didn’t carry over outside of Japan, but the other parts of changing Epel’s behavior don’t quite make sense.

Why exactly is Epel being forced to call macarons his favorite food? And act very soft-spoken? I can’t see how these fit in with the politeness aspect of the table manners, no abrasive language, etc. It just doesn’t give a very good impression, especially in combination with the unfortunate implication of giving Epel a Southern accent for the “change your accent” plot point.

Before I get to responding to the questions posed by this ask, allow me to explain for those who may not be familiar with this controversy! This is so we can all go into reading this post from the same starting point.

I've made titles to denote the explanation of background knowledge and to denote responding to the questions actually asked to me! If you're already familiar with the Vil-Epel-accent debacle then feel free to skip the first section!

Disclaimer: I’m speaking on these concepts as I personally understand them. However, I am not a native Japanese speaker so I’d advise that you consult additional resources with a better understanding of the language and culture. Two resources I enjoy are Yuurei and MysteryShopTLs, who have both also addressed Epel’s accent and how it was localized.

The Accent, EN vs JP

It’s well-known that Epel is a character with a heavy accent who has been explicitly told by Vil, his dorm leader, to alter the way he speaks. In EN, Epel speaks with what appears to be a southern (as in, “from the southern United States”) accent. Therefore, when Vil tells him to stop speaking in the accent, it feels as though Vil is shaming him for his southern roots and culture. This has also led to fans (especially of the EN-only sphere) thinking that Vil believes Epel’s accent is “unrefined” and “makes him sound uncouth/uneducated”, which is why Vil tells Epel to cover it up. I have even received asks conveying as much in the past (here is one example).

In the original JP, Epel speaks in a way that does not closely resemble any real-world Japanese dialect but rather a blend of them. If you ask a native Japanese speaker, they would likely tell you that it is difficult to understand what Epel is saying and that it sounds as though he is speaking rudely or too casually. People could genuinely take offense to the accent because it can be mistaken as something else entirely. This is obviously very different than the real-world accent (which many people can still understand and wouldn’t perceive as rude) that Epel was localized to have. The decision to give him a southern accent, then, does not completely carry over its original JP connotations into EN.

What remains the same in both EN and JP is the reason Vil provides for telling Epel to adjust the way he communicates. As he says in EN, “Speak properly" to which Epel immediately assumes the command comes from a place of elitism/classism and Vil thinking Epel's manner of speaking is beneath him. Vil responds with, "Stop misinterpreting my instructions. I have nothing against your home or its dialect. What I object to is your attitude. Being proud of your home is all well and good, but there is a time and a place for that. The way you address your superiors is entirely unacceptable." (Keep in mind that before this, Epel was the one instigating a fight with Vil and subsequently got his ass whooped for disrespecting an upperclassman. As the victor, he declares that Epel must do as he says--that's the "culture" of NRC. The weak obey the strong, so if Epel wants to do whatever he wants, then Vil challenges him to beat Epel in a fight. Until then, the loser must obey the winner. Epel agrees to these conditions.) This may be a little hard for western English speakers to wrap their heads around, but MANY Asian countries, Japan included, run on a hierarchical system which is embedded even into their languages. Japanese, for example, has honorifics to denote the relationship between the speaker and the listener, as well as variations on the same word depending on the context ("boku", "ore", "watashi", "atashi", etc. are all valid ways to refer to oneself, "onii-san", "onii-sama", "aniki", "kyodai", etc. are all ways to refer to a brother, whether blood-related or not). In some cases, it's considered rude to call others by their first name unless you know them well, and even then it's not common to see a first name without an honorific. This is not as strictly adhered to in English, which is perhaps where a cultural disconnect occurs. What Vil is referring to in his instructions to Epel is what is known in the world of linguistics as "code switching", or changing how one communicates to suit the situation. Part of code switching is changing one's "register", or the level of formality you use. So for example, I could use a colloquial/casual register when I speak with my friends, but I may shift to a more polite and formal register when I speak with my professors, a boss, or an older relative. Vil, then, is critiquing Epel for not speaking politely to his seniors (something which is expected in Japanese culture, but not expected among those in similar grade levels in western cultures).

In the Harveston Sledathon event, we get to venture to Epel's hometown and hear how the locals speak. Indeed, we get more instances of people who speak in the same way Epel does. It's the Harveston dialect, which is so distinctive that it basically sounds like a whole different language. (There are also languages like this in real life; consider Mandarin and Cantonese; technically they are both "Chinese" but Mandarin and Cantonese speakers would not be able to comprehend one another even if they use the same written language). However, it's notable that Marja (Epel's grandmother) and the mayor of Harveston are able to code switch flawlessly into a more standardized tongue. They explain that this is a skill they have developed because it helps in communicating with tourists/visitors to the village and for whenever they travel to the nearby city to sell their wares. This reinforces Vil's point that there is a "time and place" for certain ways of speaking, which Epel needs to consider.

Macarons and Soft-Spokeness

Accent thing aside, some English-speaking fans take issue with Vil's stern treatment of Epel, particularly in instances in which Vil seems to be exerting significant control over his underclassman's behaviors. (Japanese-speaking fans largely do not hold the same sentiment.) Examples of this include Vil forcing Epel to state that his favorite food is macarons, as well as making Epel present as soft-spoken even when he's just among his peers. I will now be addressing both of these points. TO BE CLEAR, I am NOT trying to defend Vil but rather I'm just going to speculate about why the circumstances are the way that they are and/or why perceptions of his attitude may differ.

Starting with macarons! It is stated in Epel's official profile and by Epel himself in his Birthday Boy vignettes that his favorite food is yakiniku (Japanese grilled meat). However, macarons are also listed as his favorite food, and this is notable because he's the only character with two foods listed instead of just one. In the aforementioned Birthday Boy vignettes, Epel is quick to qualify his love of meats with, "Well, I do have one thing I like even more. It's, ah, macarons." When asked what he likes about them, he says, "They're... cute. And sweet! And they come in lots of different flavors." His voice here sounds hesitant, so it's not clear whether he's being entirely honest or not. He even admits in a whisper that, "[Macarons] are not very filling, but still." Epel again complains about macarons being good but not very filling when he has some in the City of Flowers/Fleur City. To this, Azul asks, "Why do you look so unimpressed, Epel? I thought macarons were your favorite food. [...] But was my intel mistaken? Would you prefer something with a stronger flavor profile?" Epel insists he is fine, and Azul responds with, "Excellent, then my intel bears out." This creates some confusion over whether Epel actually likes macarons or not. I doubt that the information Azul has on others is inaccurate. Plus, Epel states of his own free will to the player (who is interviewing him) that he also likes macarons. This leads me to believe that while Epel doesn't outright hate macarons, he does like them alright (but still prefers grilled meat more). The only thing he seems to have an issue with is how unsubstantial macarons are as a food item.

Now... why does Vil make him state that macarons are his favorite food instead of grilled meat? It's sort of touched on in Epel's Ceremonial Robes vignettes. In them, Vil chides Epel for his poor table manners and asks him to state his favorite food. Epel responds with grilled meat/barbeque, which earns him a smack from his dorm leader. (Vil actually smacks Epel multiple times in these vignettes as punishment, which ended up being another source of ire in the English-speaking part of the fandom; such a thing is more common in Asia and its media, so it's not seen as too outrageous in Japan.) "Do my ears deceive me?" Vil says. "I could've sworn I heard a word unfit to be spoken in this noble dorm. I will ask you again. As a student of Pomefiore–a dorm founded upon the tenacity of the Fairest Queen–what is your favorite food?" From this dialogue, it can be surmised that Vil's reasoning for drilling the macarons in as Epel's favorite food is because it is something that is more befitting of the regal "image" of the Fairest Queen and the dorm made in her honor. Vil seems to regard grilled meat as an inelegant food which does not suit the Fairest Queen nor Pomefiore.

The second thing the asker brought up is Epel's soft-spokeness. I guess I'm a little confused by this??? Soft-spokeness is a part of being polite; it ties back to volume control (ie "indoor voice" being softer than "outdoor voice"). I also don't recall a specific instance of Vil chastising Epel for NOT being soft-spoken at all times. He allows Epel to be loud sometimes and raises his voice himself. I feel like volume is not something that Vil harps on as much as other things like cursing or speaking politely to the correct authority figures (unless, of course, volume is important to the level of politeness required for the current conversation). I could be wrong on this though, so please let me know if you know of any specific instances of Vil being mad about Epel speaking loudly that I may have missed! What I do find odd is how... consistently (?) Epel tries to keep polite even when Vil is not around to monitor him. When Vil and Epel first met, Vil makes it clear that there is a "time and place" for Epel's accent, and it's not when addressing seniors. So... by the logic, shouldn't Vil be okay with Epel acting more relaxed or rowdy around first years or more casual settings in general? Why does Epel need to maintain the facade of being polite even when not in the presence of his superiors? Why does Epel seem to even act fearful about word of his misbehavior/rudeness getting back to his dorm leader and even make others swear they won't divulge the incidents to Vil?

One theory I'll propose is the entirety of book 5. Vil was insistent then on having Epel in the NRC Tribe. He wanted to weaponize Epel's cuteness, which he believed could compete with his long-time rival, Neige. This probably fed into Vil's demands for Epel to appear and act dainty and innocent, traits which Neige effortlessly possesses. Vil literally even refers to Epel as his "Poison Apple" that will help him defeat Neige. After book 5, Vil seems to have eased up on his rigidity. However, I will caution that this explanation may or may not align well with vignettes and/or event stories, which do not always work in a cohesive timeline with the main story.

Perhaps a more all-encompassing explanation is... this is probably because Vil is just very strict about how his dorm members present themselves at all times, since they are expansions of Pomefiore and of himself as the leader. Both the macarons and Epel's attitude are reflections of the dorm he (a celebrity who is very aware of the public eyes on him + his reputation) is affiliated with, and Vil won't have them poorly represented. He is the dorm leader, so he has the "right" to rule and impose his ideals as he sees fit. It's a similar situation to Riddle forcing the Heartslabyul students to follow silly, nonsensical rules (because they're tradition) or risk a scolding or a beheading. And again, Epel is following along because (as established in book 5), he has agreed to submit to Vil’s orders until he beats Vil in combat.

At the end of the day, I don't think Epel being forced to call macarons his favorite food is a huge deal. Is anything that big lost in claiming you like something that isn't your actual favorite food? It's not like Vil is forcing Epel to claim he likes eating something that would actually harm him (like, if Epel had an almond allergy or something).

What's more dubious is how VIl governs Epel's attitude and temperament at seemingly all times (to the point of eliciting some apprehension from Epel). Given the most generous reading, maybe it's Vil's way of teaching Epel maturity and how to keep his voice down since Epel had zero of it and acted loudly brazen when he first enrolled. It doesn't help Epel if he's quiet and well-mannered in very limited social situations; it has to be "generalized" or expand to other scenarios for Vil's lessons to truly be instilled in him. (Like... what would happen if Vil DIDN'T hold Epel in check? His classmates would not be able to understand Epel's speech, and he might get into trouble by picking fights with others.) This is a life skill that Epel lacks, unlike his grandma and the Harveston mayor, and Vil's teaching it to him via "tough love" (though whether you approve of his methods or not is up to interpretation). Recall that Vil also teaches Epel to embrace femininity as its own strength and to disregard outdated gender norms--this could be considered another "lesson". I doubt that anything Vil imposes is done maliciously, but rather comes from a place of wanting others to be better and to shine their brightest, even if that path is difficult or painful. Epel, as the rebel in this circumstance, of course does not enjoy being told what to do and misbehaves in small ways. There’s a limit on how much he can misbehave though, as it would hurt his pride to be reminded of his failure to one-up Vil. He's like a kid that doesn't want to be caught cussing or acting out by his parent. It can be seen as immaturity and an unwillingness to change or to grow up, but it can also be seen as someone who wants to freely be able to express themselves or to be their "truest" self. Epel is rowdy and headstrong, and it's difficult for him to repress these parts of himself. Given the least generous reading, Vil is oppressing and stifling Epel in many ways that extend beyond what his dorm leader position should reasonably allow him to do. In fact, a popular fan translation for book 5 is "The Beautiful Oppressor", as Vil is frequently shown limiting the liberties of his NRC Tribe members during their training arc, not just Epel's.

Which is the truth here? Why do those in the English side of the fandom decry Vil's actions and side with Epel whereas the Japanese side see little issue with this?

I wager that this predominantly comes down to, again, cultural differences. Many English-speaking fans are based in the west (particularly the USA and Canada, where the EN servers first launched), places which emphasize individuality and self-expression. Of course they would be more likely to take Epel's side, as he's the one trying to be himself and stand out in his own way. Meanwhile collectivism--an ideology which stresses conformity with a group--dominates in the east. They are more likely to see no problems with Vil's actions because, to them, he is acting in the ways he is to "guide" Epel and show him how to best "fit in" with Pomefiore and at NRC. I believe the whole "being soft-spoken" thing also ties back to cultural differences; speaking loudly is something else that can be considered rude in Japan, so it's entirely possible that Vil encouraging Epel to be soft-spoken is another element of politeness that did not translate well to English (as the western world tends to be much louder and more animated in their conversations).

What it boils down to is that the way Vil and Epel's relationship was written did not work well for a western audience, whose values and perspective is VERY different from the original audience TWST had. It appeals far more to a Japanese fanbase than a western one, and has resulted in many misunderstandings or anger about Vil's character because of this.

I'm not sure if I managed to adequately explain everything, but I hope that this at least helps you to see from a different perspective!!

#twst #twisted wonderland #Vil Schoenheit #Epel Felmier #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #harveston sledathon spoilers #Marja Felmier #notes from the writing raven #question #book 5 spoilers #twst en #twisted wonderland en #Neige LeBlanche #Azul Ashengrotto

[juniperskye]

Why are you in my head? Pt. 3

Sneak Peek: Eddie and you are soulmates. The legend of soulmates is that you start to hear one another’s thoughts around age 16 – not all the time, but when you’re feeling a strong emotion. It simply flows out of you and into the other, the legend also states that the closer you are, the more you can hear them. **The events of season 4 did NOT happen** I did also use some of the dialogue

Bold are Eddie’s thoughts; Italics are reader’s thoughts. (mind you, they are essentially hearing both sets of thoughts)

Eddie Munson x Fem Sunshine! Reader (Soulmate AU)

Fluff/Angst - Part 1 Part 2

Word count: 2583

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! My blog is 18+, minors DNI, explicit language, no use of y/n, fem reader, mentions of drugs/sale of drugs/drug use, arguing, mentions of Eddie’s drug addict parents, mention of post-partum depression, mention of child endangerment, mention of child death, mention of murder, mention of suicide, mention of foster care, let me know if I missed any!

That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story

I miss you so fucking much. How could you think so little of me. I’m sorry. You just don’t understand what it’s like. You don’t even know me. We’re soulmates, of course I know you. Our thoughts weren’t shared until we were both teenagers, you know nothing about how I was brought up. Can I see you? Please.

Thoughts between soulmates were shared more frequently when experiencing high levels of stress, primarily during long periods of separation after meeting, or fighting.

“Hey bug, Eddie’s on the phone for you.” Your dad knocked lightly on your door.

“Tell him I don’t want to talk to him!” You hollered up to your dad.

Since your fight with Eddie, one week ago, your parents had noticed your very apparent, sour mood. You really had no choice but to tell them that you had in fact met your soulmate and had been hanging out with him non-stop. Your mom had been thrilled for you; she had wanted to know everything about Eddie. Your dad on the other hand, he was furious. He clocked the tear tracks that ran down your cheeks the second you walked in the door, and he wanted Eddie’s address so he could kick his ass. You had assured him that it wouldn’t be necessary, that no matter how upset you were in the moment, in your heart you knew the two of you would be able to work things out.

“Sweetie, maybe you should take his call.” Your mom suggested.

“Maybe you should butt out!” You shouted back.

You were immediately filled with regret. Quickly making your way up the stairs you threw open your door to come face to face with your parents.

“Mom, I am so sorry.”

She pulled you into a tight hug, her hand gently brushing at the hair on the back of your head. She always did this when you hugged, and it always brought a warm comfort throughout your body.

“It’s okay. I know that you are upset. Maybe you should try talking to him sweetie, it might make you feel better.” She suggested once more.

“Okay, I guess you’re probably right.” You nodded.

“Well, that’s good because he is on his way right now.” Your dad informed you.

“What? Dad! A little warning would be nice! He doesn’t live that far, and I have to get ready!” You started scrambling down the stairs into your room to get ready.

Your parents chuckled, remembering what it was like to be that young and new in love.

A knock at the door had you sprinting up the stairs and practically shoving your dad out of the way so you could get there first. You weren’t quite ready to have Eddie meet your parents, especially since you aren’t currently on the best of terms.

You opened the door with just enough room to slide out of the house. You took note of Eddie’s disheveled appearance, he had bags under his eyes, his hair looked especially frizzy, and his skin didn’t have its usual glow.

“Hey.” He said sheepishly.

“Hi.” You replied.

“Did you uh, did you want to go sit in the van and talk?” Eddie said gesturing to where it was parked at the end of your driveway.

You nodded and the two of you made your way to the vehicle. He wanted so badly to pull you into his arms and kiss all this pain away, but he knew that it wouldn’t be that simple, he had made some snap judgements and said some hurtful things to you. He knew he needed to apologize and that the two of you still had a lot to learn about one another.

“Baby, I am so sorry. I said some awful shit to you, and I shouldn’t have. I just, I am so used to having people judge me. For how I look, for where I live, who I live with, the people I hang out with, the music I listen to, the field of work I’m in. And I know that you weren’t judging me, that you were just looking out for me because you care, but baby I couldn’t help but let those past feelings eat me alive when you were talking to me.” Eddie explained.

“Eddie, I appreciate you apologizing. I’ve had time to think about things too and I can understand how my reaction could have come across as judgmental. Eddie, my dad is a cop, I have heard what happens to people when they’re caught with a little bit of weed in their possession, but if you were caught selling it, or something worse. Eddie I can’t lose you. Not when I have only just found you.” Tears were running down your face at this point.

Eddie scooted closer to you on the bench of the van, he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, gently brushing away your tears with his thumb. He leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. When you two broke apart, he leaned his forehead against your own, his hand brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I am so sorry baby. Please forgive me?”

“Eddie, before I can forgive you, I need to know that you don’t really think of me like that. I may come from a well-off family now, but there is a lot you don’t know about me and I just – I need to know that you don’t see me as some privileged brat.” You begged.

“Sweetheart, no! I don’t think of you that way. I am so sorry! I don’t even know why I said that. It’s like a defense mechanism. I know that there’s so much I don’t know about you, and I hope that you will trust me enough to tell me everything there is to know about you.” He rushed.

You were both startled by a knock on the window. Looking over at the passenger window, you were mortified to see your dad standing there, giving you and Eddie a small wave. He then gestured for you to roll the window down. You visibly cringed as you began cranking the window open, mouthing an embarrassed apology to Eddie.

“Dadddd…what do you want?” You whined.

“Your mother sent me out here to let you know that dinner is ready. She also wanted me to ask if your friend here would be joining us.” He explained.

Your eyes darted over to Eddie. You were trying to decipher his expression, was he as horrified as you were? Was he intrigued by the idea of meeting your parents.? Was he ready to flee and never return?

Would you want me to stay?

You couldn’t help but smile. His thought was timed perfectly, this soulmate thing definitely had its perks.

Of course I want you to stay! I just don’t want them to scare you off.

“If it’s alright with you sir, I’d like to stay for dinner.” Eddie looked at your dad, who replied with a curt nod.

“I can’t believe you’re a Metallica fan! I just finished learning Master of Puppets on my guitar!” Eddie gushed.

“That’s a tough song, I bet you had to practice for weeks!” Your dad indulged Eddie.

This is so embarrassing! Your dad is so cool!

Your mom laughed at the exchange between the two men and she and you cleared the table. She gave you a knowing look and nodded towards your room.

“Why don’t you two go watch a movie, your dad and I can clear the rest of this up.” She suggested.

“Only if you’re sure.” You asked, gaze shifting from your mom to your dad.

“Door stays open.” Your dad pointed towards you.

With that you grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him down to your room, being sure to leave your door open, per your dad’s request. As you descended the stairs, Eddie’s jaw made its way to the floor. He was amazed by your room, you had records hung on the walls and ceiling, one of your walls had an incredible photo collage, with photos of you, your friends and family throughout the years, and below that were stacks of books next to a small desk. HeHewHH’d have to ask you about who all these people were. You also had a projector screen that you clearly used for movies.

“This is amazing! You read J.R.R. Tolkien and Stephen King? And these records, this is so cool, I would never want to leave if this was my room!” Eddie exclaimed.

God, like you could get any hotter.

“Yeah, my parents are pretty cool about letting me express my creative freedoms or whatever.” You shrugged.

You couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, Eddie had talked about how you got everything you’d ever wanted, and this made that seem true. If only he knew.

Things had continued on pretty well with you and Eddie over the next few months. You guys had grown closer, trusting one another with the heavier secrets of your lives. Eddie had told more in depth about his parents. His mom had gotten hooked on drugs thanks to his dad, who was quick to put hands on Eddie and his mom when he was under the influence – which seemed to be more often than not.

You had wanted to tell Eddie about your past too, but the timing just didn’t seem right. Every time you went to share, something came up, or you were trying to avoid it coming across as you are one-upping him and his trauma.

Things aren’t always what they seem.

Eddie had dinner at your house once a week, and you’d traded off whose house you’d go to after school each day. Nothing physical had transpired between the two of you other than a few heavy make out sessions. At each other’s houses you had fallen into a routine, at yours you would either watch a movie or read, at his you’d either watch a movie, listen to music, or help him with his campaigns.

Tonight happened to be dinner at your house, your parents had suggested ordering a pizza tonight and playing Monopoly. Eddie had enjoyed nights like this, your parents had been extremely welcoming of him. He had appreciated that they didn’t judge him, not once in all the time he has known them. They had been warm and kind and accepting.

Your dad had bonded with him about his taste in music and had shown an interest in Dungeons and Dragons. Your mom talked to him about his future and his dreams of being in a band, but the reality of him probably becoming a mechanic.  Your mom had told him that he should pursue music as long as he had something he could fall back on should it not work out. She told him that he could achieve his dreams as long as he worked hard at it.

These conversations, these dinners, these nights with your family had been amazing, they had also been painful for Eddie. He couldn’t help but feel hurt that he didn’t get to have a childhood like this, that he had to get his ass beat by his dad while his mom was strung out on the couch. He hadn’t been removed from their custody until he was about 10 years old, that’s when child services pulled him from their care and moved him in with Wayne.

Wayne had grown fond of you immediately; he had seen how Eddie had changed immediately after meeting you. He had been happier, which meant the world to Wayne. All Wayne had ever wanted was for Eddie to have something good in his life and here you were. You and Wayne were buds and it filled Eddie with a sense of pride that his uncle approved of you.

Now if only things could stay simple like that forever.

Eddie and you had finished dinner and a game of Monopoly at your house. You were planning to go to Eddie’s after to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. After pulling up in front of the trailer, Eddie made his way to your side of the van and pulled you out of the car. You giggled as he kissed you and the two of you stumbled into the living room.

He made his way to the kitchen to grab drinks for you both and he began popping some popcorn.

“Sorry about my parents tonight. I know they can be super lame.” You huffed out a laugh.

“What do you mean? Your parents are great!” Eddie said.

“No, I know, but they act so goofy. It’s embarrassing.” You shook your head.

At least you have parents.

“Jesus Eddie.”

“What? I didn’t…oh shit. Babe I’m sorry. It’s just, you should be thankful that you have parents who care about you. Not all of us are that lucky.”

“I’m not that lucky Eddie! Fuck! How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t know me! You don’t know anything about me!” You sighed.

“Then tell me! Please, enlighten me as to how your two wonderful parents can be so bad!” Eddie egged you on.

“THEY'RE NOT MY PARENTS!” You shouted at him, then took a deep breath. “Eddie, they’re not my real parents.”

Eddie sat a looked at you, mouth agape, speechless. You could tell that he was waiting for you to continue, but you needed a moment to collect your thoughts. You had to explain everything, this conversation could change everything.

“My parents, Eddie, they did some horrible shit. Neither of them had any other family, my mom she uh, she had post-partum depression, she wasn’t doing well, for a long time after my little sister was born. I guess that had caused my dad to seek comfort elsewhere, I was only six when all this happened. But uh, my mom she uh she left my sister in the bath alone, my sister slid down into the water and drowned, she was only 8 weeks old. When my dad came home and found her, he was furious. Eddie he killed my mom, and then he killed himself. I ended up in foster care and bounced from home to home until I was twelve, until they took me in.”

“Sweetheart. I, I am so sorry. I don’t, I’m not sure what to say.” Eddie whispered. “But uh, you said. You had mentioned that your mom told you bedtime stories about how her and your dad met.”

“My mom now, she would tell me how her and my dad met, every night until I finally started sleeping.” You explained.

The nightmares made it impossible. I couldn’t stop seeing the blood.

Eddie crossed the room and pulled you into his arms. He couldn’t believe that he had been so stupid this whole time. You had been silently telling him that your life wasn’t all that perfect, that though now, it seemed good, it hadn’t always been. He needed you to know that he was here for you, no matter what.

I’ve got you. I will always have you baby.

A sob escaped your throat, ripping through the silence. Eddie held you; he laid you with him in his bed, his hand brushing through your hair gently, whispering sweet nothings to you.

I haven’t told anyone that story. Nobody, ever. Not even my parents. Your secret is safe with me. You are safe with me. I love you sweetheart. I love you Eds.

Tag List: @sashaphantomhive

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #corroded coffin #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things 4 #eddie munson angst #eddie munson au #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female character #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson angst blurb #sstranger things blurb #stranger things imagine #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #mechanic!eddie #mechanic!eddie x reader #mechanic!eddie x y/n #dad!eddie munson #dad!eddie munson x mom!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fluff #why are you in my head #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff

[dazai-ritualist]

I CANT HELP IT! IM SORRY but we know Al dies in his late 30s early 40s so we can assume he at least got to watch his kids grow up into young adults? What happens when Al dies and reader is “set free?” Only to figure out her children aren’t all who they seem to be? I can see reader’s son possibly becoming a corrupt detective/cop and perhaps her daughter gets into fashion or becoming a teacher? Im not sure what Emi’s future might be but im very curious on your thoughts!

UH OH, SHE’S LOSING HER CONTROL!

[hold up! read the rest of the story first!!]

— and when it seemed like there was no more hope, the monster of the house was slain.

and so, 12 years passed by like a breeze. despite being trapped in this hellhole called home, it was all worth it. for the children, all of it was worth it. noah, just 22 and he’s already a fine policeman, keeping the people in line. and the family treasure, emilia— aged 15, and yet a smart little girl. starting her own little farm outside, from cotton to potatoes, and keeping the family afloat. such wonderful kids, it’s a miracle alastor’s manipulations didn’t rub off on them.

1933, times were tough— the stock market crashed, the bank had failed, and everyone was living off of rations. thankfully, radios gained more popularity, and alastor had profited off of it, making sure his little family was fed with a roof over their heads— he seemed to not only enjoy the newfound wealth, but also the suffering in the streets... suitable for a monster such as himself. and while he worked, you and emilia had used the cotton from her farm to create and sell dresses, your own little effort to the community.

still, that didn’t change the hell that was outside your little safe haven. it wasn’t rare for young men to knock on your door, begging for work. and while your heart felt for them, it couldn’t change what alastor had in mind for them. he’d bring them in— down into the basement. and that very night, suddenly there was meat on the table.

you knew what he did, you weren’t an idiot. he gave you that man’s flesh. but, you did what you had to do. for the children, so that they’re well-nourished. and against your better judgement, you followed through, serving what seemed to be a steak. your husband seemed to love your ultimate submissiveness, one way or the other, you’d give into his ways. although it made your stomach churn, the very thought of eating the poor man, it was hard to live during these times, it was what had to be done.

and, it was why you let your children on a hunting trip with him. “little emi’s first trip! you excited, lil’ sis?” noah laughed, patting his sister on the head. “don’t do that, you’ll mess up my hair!” emilia frowned back. alastor laughed at the two as he held you by the waist, “oh, those two!” he mused, looking back to face you. “we’ll be home in time for dinner, my love. i love you so very much!” he smiled, kissing you all over. you hated whenever he did that— when he acted like he’d done nothing wrong, yet you didn’t fight back. what point was there to it? 15 years, and he’s managed to keep you in this house, there was no more use in fighting back.

“okay. just keep them safe, alastor.” you said as he pressed his nose against your’s. he smiled against your lips and laid onto you one final kiss. “don’t you worry your pretty little head, my dear. i’ll protect them with my life.”

and, that was the last time you saw him.

when your children came home, they looked frightened. “m..momma…” emilia whimpered. “oh, baby, what’s wrong? where’s dad?” you asked, running towards them to make sure they were safe. “…ma…” noah let out. “dad’s dead…” he said, ashamed to look you in the eye. “he’s… dead..?” you asked, dazed. “momma! i-i didn’t mean to!” your daughter cried, pulling you closer to hug. “you didn’t mean to..? emi, what happened?” you pulled your daughter far away enough to see her teary-eyed face.

“…i shot dad…” she said, hiccuping in-between words. your eyes widened at her words. “d-dad was on his knees in the dirt, so i thought he was a deer ‘n i shot him…” she explained, wiping her tears. “momma, i don’t wanna go to jail.” she cried out. “don’t worry, baby. you won’t go to jail. you didn’t mean to…” you kissed her on the forehead.

standing up properly, you looked your son in the eyes, wet as he tried to hold his tears back. “baby, i need you to show me where dad is, i’ll take care of it.” you said. “y-yeah, ok, momma… i’ll take you there…” he nodded his head. “emi, go prepare dinner while i’m gone. momma will take care of this mess.” you told her as she nodded her head.

when you arrived, alastor’s body was mangled beyond recognition, the only way you knew it was him was by the clothes he wore— it must have been someone’s hunting dogs, that means it’s possible somebody already discovered the body, and is headed to the police station. the only possible reason alastor could have been here and on his knees, as emilia said, must have been to dispose of a body. so, the ground beneath you must have a corpse. only the lord knows how many bodies alastor could’ve hidden here. but then, you had an idea.

but, first, you had to check. you dug the dirt below alastor’s body. and lo and behold, was the corpse of noah’s friend-turned-enemy, kenneth. “d…did dad kill ken..?” noah asked, afraid of the answer. “i suppose he did.” you said, frowning over your own answer. did the years truly turn you as heartless as him..? “now, noah… if you don’t want your sister to be locked away in a correctional facility, you’ll help me. understand?” you asked, speaking for the first time with a strict tone. “y-yes, momma…” he said as he pushed back in about 3 feet of dirt. he helped you lower his father’s mangled corpse into the grave, pushing back the remaining 3 feet of dirt.

“now, dear… i need you to head back to your station and see if any hunters reported a corpse in the forest, okay? and, make sure those police dogs you have sniff this area, so that they can find dad…” you said to him, explaining your plan. “yeah, okay, momma… i don’t want little emi going to jail…” he said. this was wrong, but it was to protect your family. for the children, right? you won’t let alastor ruin the family even in his death. if those cops found out that emilia killed alastor, they’d try to punish her for all of his crimes as well.

and with that, you returned home. and when noah came back, he returned triumphant. “they bought it, momma. don’t you worry, emi. no cops are gonna take you away. if they try, i’ll kill ‘em” he assured her, hugging his little sister as the weight on her shoulders fell.

this is good, right? even though it resulted in alastor’s death, all three of you are free from his manipulations. and, yes, you framed an innocent hunter— but, it was to protect the family. after all, you raised such wonderful kids, they don’t deserve to go to jail. they’re so kind, they’d dirty their hands for each other. and… that’s a good thing, isn’t it? they’re loyal to their family.

but then, the guilt finally started to settle in.

and it weighed on your shoulders when they finally lowered alastor’s casket into the ground.

1891 — 1933

loving husband and father

he will be missed by all who knew him

the monster was finally gone.

#the corruption is supposed to be subtext 😣😣 #btw im totes willing to write another part when reader finally dies n sees my pookie in hell 💞💞💞 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hasbin alastor #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor hc #alastor headcanons #human alastor #alastor the radio demon #yandere alastor #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere

[sjw-publishings]

Hey Everyone,

I don’t tend to write these kinds of posts on my tumblr page, however I feel this is necessary.

In the event you are not aware, Dumb and Jocked, the main person I do collabs with, and also who is someone who most people might consider to be one of the backbones of the Tumblr TF community, has deactivated his account and left us last week.

Most of the people and I do not know exactly why or how this happened, but it's the reality of the situation unless he somehow does return in the future.

Some tumblrs might still have some of his stories reblogged, including mine, however some of which cannot be accessed as they are stuck at the ‘read more’ page. Notably his longer stories ‘Branded’ and both parts of the major collaboration we did together in ‘Narrow residences’.

If anyone has any of these stories saved somewhere, it would be great if you could either link it to me or post it on Tumblr.

Below will be my farewell to him, in the event he ever does somehow read it. This probably is not the best farewell letter, but it's the best I could do in such short notice and also posting it publicly. —————————————————————

Hey Dumb and Jocked,

Thanks for reading this, and I'm sad to see you go.

We’ve worked on various collabs together and it was fun throughout the years discussing various ideas here and there with you.

Unfortunately, after you left, it just feels really upsetting looking at the stuff you wrote. Even those that were saved from reblogs and reposts from other blogs. While I do want to keep them for memories and also because I did collaborate on some of them, it just feels much sadder trying to indulge in your stories or continue in sequels of it.

I was shocked that you would leave us out of the blue, however a part of me anticipated this.

I'm mostly speculating, but this is a hobby that can be rather controversial and you contributed a massive ton, likely without any compensation. You were quite private in general and talked about stories and bounced off my ideas now and then.

You sort of have a clean gateway if you decide to ever leave for good, as you probably are not really close to anyone here other than writing TF stories.

Some of us hoped that you might return, and speculated maybe it's tumblr accidentally banning you and you would get your account back, but as the days went by, it only reaffirmed that my anticipation was likely correct.

I myself mostly continued on tumblr for you, and I'm not sure if I would continue now that the main reason and person I stuck around for has left without letting any of us know. It is something I will have to decide for myself in the future.

If you ever do return to Tumblr or decide to message me privately to talk about things, that would be great. I do hope you return, even if you don’t write stories that frequently or even at all, so we could talk for a bit.

However I know that I won’t wait forever.

That’s all I will write in this letter. It was fun writing and discussing TF stories with you while it lasted.

-Sjw Publishings

[lau219]

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Part 10

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

Stacy: Sure, no problem. Are you ok? Do you want me to talk to him?

Y/N read Stacy’s text message response before quickly typing out a reply. She’d messaged Stacy, explaining that she and Emmett had gotten in a pretty bad argument the previous night, and asking her if she could please come and get the boys and watch them at her house tomorrow, and for the next several nights. Y/N had no idea what she’d do after then, but she was just focused on the immediate future for the time being.

Y/N: No, that’s ok, thanks. I think we just need to have some distance between us for a while. I’m so sorry to ask you, but I didn’t know what else to do.

Stacy: Don’t worry; it’s totally fine. But just for the record, I think you two will come to an understanding much quicker if you just talk rather than avoid each other.

Y/N: Thanks, I’ll think about it.

Y/N set her phone back down on the nightstand after closing out of Stacy’s message and still not responding to the one Emmett had sent her earlier that day asking her if they could talk. She hadn’t answered the phone the two times he’d tried calling her, either.

Now early evening, she was starving, as she’d stayed holed up in her room all day watching TV to avoid being seen by him through her downstairs windows. But as it began to feel like her stomach was eating itself, she discreetly made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t happen to see her from across the driveway.

After what happened in her kitchen the previous night, she’d completely avoided Emmett after dashing back outside. She was both absolutely mortified, as well as completely confused, and she hadn’t even fully believed that what had happened actually happened, until she’d changed her clothes later on and the proof of their little rendezvous was evident on her panties. She’d blushed every possible shade of red as she’d dropped them in the washing machine, and she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, which was still the case today.

She was mortified because she couldn’t believe how easily she’d given in the second Emmett had grabbed her. Despite the way he’d spoken to her, the pull she felt to him was irresistible, and as soon as his lips had touched hers, she’d only wanted more. It was pathetic how easily she’d melted.

But it was also just such an awkward situation. They had still been fighting literally as they were having sex, and she’d willingly given in to the possessiveness and control Emmett had shown, and she was so embarrassed by how turned on she’d been. She couldn’t get the feel of his hands on her or the sound of his voice out of her head.

But she also couldn’t understand why it had happened at all, and why Emmett was so upset that she had agreed to Stacy’s set up when he had neither said nor done anything else prior to their little encounter to show that he was interested in her. She figured it was some weird, territorial guy thing – he didn’t want her, but he didn’t want anyone else to have her. Well, she wasn’t interested in any of the drama or heartache that came with that scenario. She refused to be in another situation where she hoped for bliss but was treated like garbage. If he didn’t want her, then he couldn’t have her.

Now, she just had to try and get rid of her unreciprocated feelings.

———————————————

Emmett had been completely restless since the moment Y/N had walked out on him the night prior. They’d been interrupted before he’d had a chance to explain anything to her, and after going back outside to the party, she’d made sure there was at least five yards of space between them for the rest of the night. Any time it was evident he was going to try to approach her to talk, Y/N moved away, her face flushing and refusing to meet his eyes as she wove her way around people and tables. Eventually, she’d called it a night and gone back inside her house, turning off every light, and when he’d tried to get in touch with her several times today, he got no response. He wasn’t even sure if she was home now, as there’d been no sign of life at her house all day.

He figured she was confused, and he couldn’t blame her. Remembering how she’d said that it was obvious he wanted nothing to do with her, he realized that the way he’d gone from pulling back to then suddenly being jealous, scolding her, and kissing her wouldn’t make much sense to anybody.

Well, he’d done a lot more than just kiss her, and as wild as the situation had been, Emmett couldn’t help but still be insanely turned on by the entire thing. He’d been on the verge of grabbing her the whole night, and once he’d heard about her date and had her alone in that kitchen, he wasn’t leaving, no matter how mad at him she was.

He knew he’d been out of line with how he’d spoken to her, but in the moment, he’d been too wrapped up in jealousy to care, and something between them drew out a side of him that wanted nothing more than to both worship her and put her in her place at the same time. He couldn’t get the feel of her body against his or the sound of her desperate little gasps out of his head, and that, combined with how he felt about her, was making this silent treatment she was giving him unbearable. He needed to talk to her so that they could clear things up, and if she wasn’t going to answer her phone, he’d have to figure something else out.

———————————————

Y/N was incredibly grateful when Monday finally rolled around and she had the distraction of work to keep her from thinking about Emmett too much. They still hadn’t spoken or seen each other, and she’d asked Stacy to come up with some explanation to tell Henry and Max as to why Y/N wouldn’t be around for them this week.

After returning to the ER after lunch, Y/N was quickly approached by Melissa, who hastily handed her a blood pressure cuff as she spoke.

“There’s a guy in Bay 12 with a bad laceration on his arm, but I just got called over to help prep for an emergency surgery. Can you go see him?”

“Sure,” Y/N replied as she put her stethoscope around her neck. “Any other info on this guy?”

“No,” Melissa shook her head. “He just got here; reception is still entering his intake form.”

“Ok,” Y/N replied as she picked up an exam clipboard. “Go ahead; I’ve got it.”

“Thanks,” Melissa smiled at her and then headed off through the double doors.

Walking down the hallway to the end of the large room, Y/N stopped in front of Bay 12 and looked down at the clipboard in her hand as she reached up with her other hand to grab the privacy curtain. Her head still down, she pulled the curtain back slightly and stepped into the bay, beginning to speak as she readjusted the piece of paper on her clipboard.

“Ok, so, I understand you hurt your arm,” she started. “Let’s have a look.”

As she finished her sentence, Y/N finally lifted her head, and her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw Emmett sitting on the edge of the hospital bed in front of her. There was a moment of silence as their eyes met and she registered that it was him, and when she spoke, her throat suddenly felt very dry.

“I’m gonna go get someone else to help you,” she said, and she began to turn again.

“Y/N, wait,” Emmett said, and she stopped. “Please, will you just do it? I’ve already been sitting here for 30 minutes and this hurts like hell.”

Facing him once more, Y/N looked at him for a moment. He was holding a paper towel to his forearm, and despite how badly she wanted to get out of there, she knew she couldn’t leave him if he really was hurt. Inhaling a deep breath, she set the clipboard down on the counter before she silently walked up to Emmett and stopped beside him at the bed. Avoiding his eyes, she opened the drawer of the nearby cabinet and pulled out some rubber gloves, feeling him watching her as she put them on. It was silent for a moment, and then Emmett spoke.

“Y/N, listen, the other night—" he began as he looked at her, her head still down. But she cut him off before he could finish.

“Sorry, there’s no talking allowed back here,” she said, shaking her head as she pulled some cleansing pads and gauze from the drawer. She still refused to meet his eyes.

“Y/N, we need to ta—”

“Shhh!” she cut him off again, her face burning with embarrassment.

“You’re gonna have to talk to me eventually,” he said.

She just shook her head and pursed her lips, saying nothing as she gingerly gripped his hand and lifted it along with the paper towel he was holding to his forearm. But upon revealing his arm, she saw that he had nothing more than a small scratch that had barely even drawn blood, let alone required an ER visit. Lifting her head slowly, she narrowed her eyes at him as she realized the trick he’d played.

“You wouldn’t answer my calls,” he said by way of explanation, but Y/N just narrowed her eyes again.

“You can leave the same way you came in,” she said as she pulled off her gloves. She would kill Melissa for helping him pull this little stunt and sending her to see him.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” Emmett responded.

“Then you’re gonna be here a while,” Y/N replied, and she began to turn around. But before she could take a full step, Emmett reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

“We need to talk about what happened the other night,” he said.

She shook her head feverishly.

“No, we don’t. We never need to talk about it. In fact, forget it even happened.”

Emmett looked her in the eyes.

“There’s no way I’m ever going to forget it,” he said. “And I don’t want to.”

Y/N felt the blush creep from the base of her throat to the roots of her hair.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked him, pulling her wrist out of his grasp. “Haven’t you embarrassed me enough?”

“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Emmett said. “I’m trying to explain myself.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” Y/N replied. “I know it was just some territorial thing. But if you don’t want me, then you don’t get to do that.”

“Who said I don’t want you?” Emmett responded, looking into her eyes.

Y/N’s heart pounded as she stared back at him, speechless.

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured,” Emmett began explaining. “I know what you’ve been through, and even though it seemed like we were on the same page, I didn’t know for sure, and so I thought I should give you space.” He paused. “But then, I found out you agreed to Stacy’s set up.”

Turning, Y/N began to put the supplies she’d retrieved back in the drawer, not looking at him.

“Yes, I did, but not because I wanted to,” she said.

“Then why did you?” Emmett asked her.

Y/N turned back towards him but looked down at the floor.

“I was trying to get over you,” she replied quietly. “I thought maybe something was…happening with us, but then you got distant, and so I figured you decided you didn’t really want me.”

At that, Emmett reached out and gently grabbed her hand, and Y/N lifted her head to look at him.

“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said to her.

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as they looked at each other and he pulled her slightly closer.

“You have no idea how much I want you,” he continued, his voice lowered, conscious of the fact of where they were, but needing to tell her nonetheless. “And if anything I did made you question that or start putting yourself down, then I need to know how to convince you that you’re perfect, because I know how you talk down to yourself.”

Y/N blushed and shook her head, unsure how to respond. Absentmindedly, she began moving her hand around in his, their fingers playing together as she looked down.

“I’m not perfect,” she said quietly. “Not even close.”

Emmett pulled her even closer, bringing her between his legs before tugging his hand out of hers and instead lifting it to her face. As he cupped her cheek, he could feel the heat from her blush as he looked into her eyes.

“A woman who’s completely selfless, warm, loving to a fault, and sexy?” he raised his eyebrows and paused for emphasis. “I think that’s the definition of perfect.”

Y/N’s heart was pounding so hard that she guessed the thumping of her chest was visible under her scrub top. Emmett then gave her a small smile as he quickly looked down at her lips, and then back up to her eyes again.

“The added fact that you’re a sassy little piece of work just means there’s never a dull moment,” he finished.

Y/N’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red as she remembered how he’d called her sassy as he’d been between her legs in her kitchen the other night. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was remembering the same moment, but before she could let herself get any more embarrassed, Emmett pulled her the rest of the way to him and gently placed his lips on hers.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her, and when he slipped his other arm around her waist, she lifted a hand and braced it on his chest. Kissing him, his arm around her, felt like finally arriving somewhere she was meant to be, and she didn’t want it to end. When Emmett eventually pulled back, he smiled again as she opened her eyes.

“I know you hate having me as a neighbor, my hands are never clean enough, and you’re a better parent to my own kids than I am, but is there any chance you’d consider canceling that blind date?” he said to her.

But Y/N suddenly frowned and looked at him in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?” she asked him incredulously. “You are an amazing father.”

Emmett just scoffed and shook his head.

“You are,” Y/N said. “Emmett, the fact that you have raised them on your own for this long, and they have turned into such wonderful kids, is just proof of how amazing of a father you are. I know firsthand how hard you work, and how much you’re there for them. If you think you’re not doing a great job, then maybe I should send you down the hall to have an MRI, because clearly, there’s something wrong in your head.”

At that, Emmett breathed out a laugh and pulled her closer again.

“How can you put yourself down so much but then say something like that about me?” he asked her.

“Because it’s true,” she replied as she looked at him. “You’re teaching them to be just as hardworking, kind, and good as you are. I’ve seen it. And if you weren’t so great, they wouldn’t be, either. But they are.”

Emmett squeezed her waist as he looked at her.

“You realize the impact you’ve had on them?” he said. “They adore you.”

The love was obvious in Y/N’s eyes.

“I’m sorry if I’ve ever overstepped,” she said gently. “But I just can’t help but want to take care of them.”

Emmett didn’t know how it was possible for someone to be so incredible, but he did know that he would do whatever he could to try and show her how amazing she was.

“What about you?” he said. “If you ask me, it’s about time someone took care of you.” When she opened her mouth to protest, Emmett continued before she could say anything.

“And don’t you dare say you’re not important,” he said.

Y/N pursed her lips, as that was exactly what she was about to say.

“We’re gonna have to fix that,” Emmett finished, referring to the way she belittled herself.

He then pulled her closer once more and kissed her again, and as Y/N leaned into him, his hands rested on her hips. After a moment, he pulled away just enough for their lips to part, and he spoke again.

“Come over tonight,” he said, his voice quiet but heavy. “No expectations – I just want to be around you.”

Y/N’s heart was pounding again.

“What about the boys?” she said, her voice a little breathy.

“I’ll ask Stacy to keep ‘em tonight...or for the next month.”

Y/N giggled, and then she looked down at Emmett’s arm and ran her finger over the small scratch he had.

“I don’t know if you’re in any kind of shape for visitors,” she said teasingly. “You’ve been through quite the trauma here.”

“If it’s as bad as you say, then I definitely shouldn’t be alone,” he replied, playing along. “Do you make house calls?”

“Not usually,” Y/N said. She reached over to the counter and picked up a discharge sheet, gently shoving it into his chest and then pulling away from him. As she drew back the privacy curtain and stepped back into the hallway, she spoke once more, giving him a coy little smile before she turned away.

“But I’m willing to make an exception,” she said.

@nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @natalie--rushman @xsweetcatastrophe @hannibellector

@beastofburdenxo @aphroditeslover11 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @garrison-girl-08 @meister95

@fuseburner @devotedlyshadowytheorist @neonpurplestars89-blog

#emmett x female reader #emmet a quiet place x reader #emmett a quiet place 2 #emmett a quiet place #emmett fic #emmett smut #18+ only #cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian fic #cillian murphy smut #cillian smut #18+ content

[bellysoupset]

Leo's Birthday

Soooo this fic actually takes place 4 fics in the future and I'll make sure to leave it in the correct order in the masterlist. But I wrote it first and I don't have the patience to wait to post!

-------------------------------------

“Hey, Wagner,” Dean poked his head inside of the empty conference room, where Leo was hunched over his papers, reading over a previous case similar to the one he was currently handling. 

It was only his third case, he couldn’t fumble it. 

“Yeah?” Leo didn’t bother looking up, so he startled when Dean suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders, “Martin, what are you doi-”

“Mark your page,” Dean bossed, squeezing his shoulder, with a smile on his face, “I gotta show you something.”

Leo scoffed at the order, but his curiosity was piqued and he obeyed, marking his page and putting the files away inside his case. They walked out of the conference room together and then entered the elevator. 

“Where are we going…?” Leo frowned as Dean pressed the last digit. The top floor only had Mrs. Mitchell’s office and the rooftop…

“Wait and see,” Dean was bouncing on his feet and Leo squinted, suddenly very suspicious. Surely his co-worker wouldn’t be this happy over bad news, they were friends, so- 

The door opened and Leo nearly jumped out of his skin as a huge “SURPRISE!” followed.

He startled, his back hitting the inside of the elevator, then let out a chuckle at his own expense. His coworkers were all gathered around the door. Sandra, Chuck, Nicole from the reception, Mrs. Mitchell — his boss! —, others as well. 

Sandy was holding a box with a bento cake and two cupcakes inside of it. The icing was a deep, forest green, with golden flakes all over it. Their office’s colors. 

“You didn’t think you could hide your birthday from us, did you Wagner? We’re professional snoopers,” Dean messed up his hair, shoving Leo out of the elevator. There was a table on the rooftop and they had piled on little tea sandwiches, more green cupcakes and a champagne bottle.

Leo’s chest squeezed with happiness, “I wasn’t hiding anything, I - I love this, thank you,” he interrupted himself, as Sandra passed the box with the mini cake and cupcakes to Chuck’s hands and pulled him into a hug to congratulate him.

It was nearly the end of their day, so they spent an hour there celebrating. Leo devoured his cake. It was almost too much for one sitting, but he hadn’t had lunch, so that hit just the right spot. 

Still, as they wrapped up, he was feeling full enough he decided to skip on the two cupcakes and just bring them home for later. 

“Go home, Wagner,” Mrs. Mitchell patted his arm, “and next year we hope to know with more advance than Dean guessing because he was snooping during lunch,” she rolled her eyes, “so we can have a proper lunch in celebration.” 

“This was amazing, I don’t need anything else, ma’am,” Leo blushed and she wrinkled her nose at his line. 

“Don’t settle for less than you deserve, Wagner. Now get out of my sight before I change my mind.”

She talked like their football coach, Leo thought with a smile, nodding and heading to the elevator. Maybe that was why he liked her so much.

Having two hours more than he had expected, Leo took his time driving home, stopping along the way to pick up flowers for their apartment and treats for JD.

Leo called Vince, but he didn’t pick up, indicating he was on the road. Jonah was surely still at the hospital. Leo took a long shower, then hit the dial to Luke, while putting the two remaining cupcakes in the fridge, taking a needless bite of one. He was bored and ready to start his birthday celebrations. 

“Hi kid,” Luke picked up on the second ring, “sorry, I’m in the middle of something. Is this anything urgent?”

“No,” Leo pouted, “we can talk at the restaurant, I was just bored and wanted to chat.”

“Sorry,” Lucas sounded busy, “I’m in the shelter-”

“The homeless shelter?” Leo raised his eyebrows, squishing the phone between his cheek and shoulder and falling down to his knees as he saw JD get out from under the couch, “what are you doing there?”

“I started working here yesterday,” Luke was breathless, “I’ll tell you all about it over dinner. See you in a couple hours, kid.” 

“See you,” Leo sighed, hanging up and then getting down on his stomach on the floor in order to grab his cat. JD let out an indignant meow at Leo snatching her, falling into a baby position as he cradled her, “hi baby. My cute, fluffy, prickly baby,” he said in a childish voice, feeling the judgment oozing out of his pet.

Jonah came home just as Leo was starting to get restless, moving around with nothing to do since he hadn’t planned to have free time.

“Hi!” Jon jumped as he saw Leo sprawled on the couch, already all dressed for the night, with JD getting her fur all over his fancy buttoned up shirt, since she was curled up on his stomach, “you’re home early, I was hoping- I was thinking you’d-”

Leo lifted up his head from the couch cushion, eyebrows raised at Jon’s uncharacteristic fumbling of words, “hoping I was gone?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Jonah scoffed, neatly tucking away his shoes and circling the couch in order to look at him, “don’t you look nice.”

“Thank you,” Leo grinned, lazily scratching JD’s head, “my boss gave me the last two hours of my day off, but uh… I had nothing to do, so I’ve been here, bothering JD.”

“She looks super bothered,” Jonah rolled his eyes, as their spotted cat was purring, rolled up on herself like a snake, on top of Leo, “well, I was planning on leaving this on top of the bed with a letter that said how much I love you and how incredibly successful and attentive and loving I think you are and how I wanna wake up next to you for the rest of my days, but since you’re here…” Jon sat at the edge of the couch, handing him a large silver wrapped box, “it’s nothing flashy, but you’re a lawyer, so I think I’m allowed-”

Leo raised a hand to shut him up, removing the lid of the box and then letting out a whistle, while JD got up to sniff at the wrapping paper, “this is stunning… You got my name engraved?”

“Stamped,” Jonah corrected, as Leo pulled out the dark leather case from the box, eyebrows raised at the marking that said Mr. Leo Wagner - Juris Doctorate, “I left some space there for the hyphenated Banks, if you make up your mind about it…” 

Leo’s cheeks hurt from smiling, “I love it. I’m gonna use it every damn day… And I’m considering the Banks, I promise,” he leaned in to grab Jon’s shirt, pulling him for a kiss, “I love it, thank you.”

“I love you,” Jon shrugged, thumb pushing slightly on Leo’s chin, “I’m gonna shower and we can go- Stop letting JD cuddle when you’re dressed up, bloody hell, Leo.”

“She’s cute!” Leo cried out as Jon got up from the couch and rushed out. He was still completely enchanted by his new case. There were fancy instructions of use and a bottle of leather conditioner in the box, as well as a life-long warranty that made him snort. 

As they made it to the restaurant, Leo’s stomach was starting to hurt from hunger. Even though he had had his mini cake in the office, three hours had passed and he was a big guy, just that wasn’t even remotely enough to sustain him. 

Bella, Luke and Wendy were already inside and Leo rushed to them. The couple had literally just gotten back from their honeymoon three days ago and they hadn’t had a chance to meet yet. 

“C’mere, blondie,” Bella pulled on the collar of his shirt, pulling him into a tight hug, “congratulations, Leo.” 

Leo melted into the hug, wrapping his arms around her and taking Bella’s feet off the ground, tipping his body back. 

They were already a bottle of wine in — not that much, considering there were five of them — when Vince entered the restaurant. 

“I’m so so sorry,” Vince cried out, stripping his biker jacket and throwing it to Luke, “there was a huge tree in the road and no one could get through –  it’s not important – Give me a hug!” Vin practically manhandled Leo out of his chair and the blonde let out a squeak at the ribs crushing hug, “happy birthday, kiddo.”

“I-Can’t. Breathe,” Leo gasped, making Vince chuckle and drop him. Leo dizzily staggered back, practically falling into his seat. 

Conversation went on easily after that. Leo retold that evening’s events, not hiding how proud and happy he was that his boss had joined in the celebration, and Wendy had a million tales to share about the fifty different things she was doing. Luke and Bella couldn’t shut up about the Maldives, still grossly all over each other despite spending nearly a month away with no one but each other’s company. 

Jonah brought up Angie’s proposition while they went through the second main dish – lobster — and Luke shrugged, “I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

“Of course you do, you don’t work,” Jonah wrinkled his nose, causing Luke to glare at him and Leo to snort, continuing to eat his food. 

“I’ll have you know I actually got a job,” Lucas shrugged, as if those weren’t big news and didn’t mean a lot, considering how much of his mental health deteriorating was tied to his career path or lack of one.

“What’s the job?!” Vince practically rattled him and Luke chuckled, pushing his hands away.

“I’m a charity fundraiser,” Lucas was almost beaming with how happy he was and Bella threw an arm around his shoulders, planting a big lipstick-red kiss on his cheek, “I’m not gonna take credit for this, it was actually a culmination of my therapist asking me to get a couple vocational therapy sessions, my beautiful wife telling me to stop sulking about being rich, and me finally using my head.”

“Whatever does that mean?” Leo asked, leaning back on his chair. His stomach was stuffed with food and there was still dessert to go. He fidgeted on his seat, wishing he could rub his belly or loosen up his belt, but it would be bad form in an upscale place such as this. 

“Well, I have the political connections thanks to my mom, I have the glamorous connections thanks to my dad, but I never wanted to do anything with those. They always felt like a burden,” Luke blushed, “but that was silly. There’s people who’d kill to be able to get things as easily as I can, so I realized I can use these connections for good-”

“By making rich people give away their money,” Vince chuckled, clicking his glass with Bella and the ginger nodded almost smugly. 

“It’s not just that,” Luke whined, but he didn’t seem offended, “you actually need to know laws, but lucky me, I’m a Poli Sci major… And I happen to be really good at leading teams and bossing people.”

“We already knew that, Captain,” Leo winked at Luke, leaning to his side and half resting against Jonah, as the conversation continued, Wendy was full of questions about Luke’s new position, even after him saying he was not in charge of anything, but working under a guy. She had that ambitious little sparkle in her eye that often found a twin in Jonah’s. 

Not this time, tonight Jon was too busy saving all of his heart eyes for Leo. He leaned in, pressing his nose to the blonde’s temple and smiling, “enjoying yourself?”

“Uh-hum,” Leo nodded, biting down a grimace as his stomach cramped. Maybe he had overdone it… He just needed a moment, Leo thought, breathing through it and glaring in disgust to his empty plate. He really shouldn’t have cleared the plate. 

Probably noticing his grimace, a waiter quickly came to retrieve all the plates, then hung around as they chatted about dessert. Leo felt a wave of revulsion at the thought of eating another bite. His tummy was packed and he could feel a lump in his throat. 

He coughed lightly against his fist and squeezed Jon’s knee, “order me a water? I gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Of course,” Jon nodded, still lazily studying the menu and letting out a chuckle as Wendy pulled her chair closer to him, impromptu giving him advice on what to pick.

Leo circled the table, when he passed by the guys, Vince darted out a hand in a teasing manner, giving his back a pat. 

It wouldn’t have mattered on any other day, but stuffed as he was, the little friendly pat — that was a bit rough, given Vince never seemed to have understood he was not the size of a kitten — caused a sick burp to come up.

It fizzled out in his throat, but brought with it the taste of his dinner, causing Leo to shudder. He burst into the men’s room and caught a glimpse of his face. 

The wine had done a decent job at masking his paleness, because despite the fact he had turned belly-fish white in the last couple of minutes, the alcohol still caused the top of his cheeks to be a starkling pink. 

He leaned over the sink, splashing his face with water and taking some soothing breaths. The hunched over position caused his stomach to slosh dangerously and Leo let out yet another little burp under his breath, glancing at the door nervously as he touched his belly. 

Deciding he didn’t want to risk getting walked on by one of his friends, Leo stumbled to the private stalls and locked the door. He sat on the toilet instead of leaning over it like his belly was begging him to, then spread his legs out and undid his belt.

The relief was instantaneous and Leo all but melted as the nausea eased up. He planted a hand on his stomach, tugging up his black button up, and scrunched up his face as he looked at his belly. His abs were a far cry from the morning, now his stomach was taut and stretched out, gurgling non stop. 

It wasn’t something they’d be able to hear over the chatting and the soft piano music in the restaurant, but in the empty bathroom he could hear it clearly. Leo groaned, planting the heel of his hand to his tummy and pressing in little circles.

The belly rub wasn’t quite successful and nowhere near as nice as Jonah’s were, but at least it managed to bring up yet another breathy burp- He lurched forward with a much bigger one, that nearly morphed into a retch. Leo slapped a hand over his mouth, shocked and breathing hard, trying to understand if his stomach was going to reject his dinner.

Instead, the near gag seemed to have calmed things down a bit. He carefully removed his hand from his lips, wiping the clammy sweat from his upper lip and breathing out. That was close.

Figuring he had been gone long enough, Leo begrudgingly got up, closing his belt once more and tucking his shirt in. He splashed his face with some more cold water and took a breath, forcing himself to get out of the bathroom.

The minute he walked out, a hand was planted over his eyes and everything went dark. Leo let out a startled squeak, which morphed into a hiccup and Jonah laughed at the noise, kissing his cheek.

“Relax,” he whispered in his ear, guiding Leo to walk forward, blindly, “happy birthday, baby.” 

He lowered his hand and Leo realized Jon had walked him back to their table. Now their friends were standing and there was a large cake in the middle of the table, with candles sticking out and already alight. 

Just the sight of it made his stomach churn, but Leo wasn’t lying when he smiled. The effort his friends had gone through to get him the perfect cake mattered much more than his bellyache and he shoved it to the back of his mind, grinning like crazy as they started to chorus in the happy birthday song.

Leo’s cheek turned a deep red as he noticed other strangers looking at their table, some even joining the singing. He turned his head, hiding it on Jonah’s shoulder and his fiance smiled, squeezing him closer as they finished up the song and Leo leaned to blow out the candles. 

He got pulled in yet another round of hugs and finally Leo fell back down on his seat, on the opposite side of the table. The brief truce he had earned from his tummy back in the bathroom was broken and he was hiccuping, causing Vince to giggle as he let out a little squeaky-toy noise. 

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” Vin chuckled, pushing a plate with a slice of cake his way and then passing Jonah another one, “dig in, kiddo, it’s your favorite. Chocolate on chocolate on chocolate.”

Sounded like hell, Leo thought with a small grimace, but then his stomach sank as he heard Vince’s next words, “my mom was appalled she shouldn’t put in any fruit.” 

“Your mom- Ma made my cake?” Leo asked, both moved and completely distraught as he realized there was no way he could avoid eating now.

“Sorry guys, there was a huge tree on the road,” Wendy mimicked her boyfriend’s excuse from before, forcing a deep voice, “he was late because it was a whole logistic nightmare to bring the cake from Doveport, but Ma insisted, you’re like… Her favorite.”

Luke scoffed, “which is very unfair, I’d just like to point it out,” he said in a teasing way, “I’m supposed to be the favorite.”

“Shut up, Luke,” Bella chuckled, shushing him with a little kiss and stealing a piece of his slice of cake, even though she had her own.

Leo eyed the cake with disgust, nodding and forcing a smile. His mouth watered at the thought of pushing any more sweetness in his tummy, but he ignored it, grabbing the fork. 

Jonah was scratching his back with one hand, continuing to eat and humming in agreement to the compliments about Ma’s cooking and the fact Leo was her favorite out of Vince’s friends. He was blissfully unaware of the turmoil his boyfriend was in and barely registered as Leo pushed half of his slice on his plate, giving up halfway through.

He couldn’t even swallow what was currently in his mouth. Leo tried gulping it down, but his throat was refusing to cooperate. He hiccuped again and this time he couldn’t help but groan, as liquid rocketed up his throat. 

“I’m gonna get the bill,” Jonah whispered, squeezing his nape and getting up, beating Luke to it. 

Leo groaned, barely trying to hide how shitty he was feeling. His friends were all getting up and then Vince circled the table, grinning, “are you drunk, kiddo? That was almost nothing compared to what I’ve seen you drink-”

“No-” he finally managed to gulp down the chocolate mess in his mouth and felt cold sweat break out on his back, his stomach immediately rejecting it, “ate- ate- HIC!- Fuck, too much…”

Vince chuckled, grabbing his arm, “Okay, let’s go outside for some air. C’mon-” 

He gently shoved Leo forward and they walked out of the restaurant, Leo continuing to hiccup. 

The cool air was nice, but Leo knew he was past the point where a breeze could help. He cupped his mouth, muffling yet another little burp and groaning as a hiccup shook him once more, causing his stomach to clench. 

“Shit- Vince,” Leo grabbed his friend’s arm, gulping down nervously and trying to communicate he was gonna puke-

“BOO!” Wendy jumped on him and Leo lost his weak hold on his stomach. He let out a choking noise and folded in half, puking all over the patch of sidewalk and Wendy’s pink and green heels. 

It was so violent that Leo felt dizzy. His eyes stung with humiliation and his nose with the acid that tickled it. He stayed bent down, unable to straighten up not only because he was so embarrassed, but because his belly felt far from settled.

He closed his eyes, letting out a whimper, and then felt a hand in the middle of his back, rubbing up and down. Too rough to be Jonah’s. 

“What the hell, Leo?” Wendy groaned, while Luke said, “Wen, chill out,” and helped him straighten up. He was the one who had stepped closer. Vince and Bella looked equally shocked, Bella was the one carrying the box with the rest of his cake and she was clutching it to her chest. 

“Sorry-” Leo groaned, feeling his whole face burn and his throat close up, now with tears, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine,” Wendy scoffed, as Vince grabbed her by her armpits and helped her slide out of her shoes without having to touch the chocolate vomit covering them, “god, this is gross…”

“Wendy,” Luke stressed, squeezing Leo’s shoulder, “what’s wrong, Leo?”

“Sorry,” he groaned again, sniffling pitifully, “I just- I just had so much to eat and then Wendy startled me and- Why did you startle me?!”

“Because you were hiccuping!” Wendy scoffed, with a disgusted frown on, using Bella’s shoulder to steady herself as she tiptoed away from the mess. Vince seemed to have gotten over the shock and only looked amused, snorting at his girlfriend’s answer, “I was trying to help!”

“Amazing,” Jonah said, half amused, half annoyed, jumping down the last steps and joining them outside, “Leo, are you okay?”

“I wanna die,” Leo groaned, but at least the nausea had calmed down a little. Not fully, he still felt stuffed and his stomach was still churning, but he no longer felt like he was going to throw up right at that minute… 

“You’re fine, Wendy will live,” Jonah rolled his eyes at Wendy’s little huff, but she did sigh and nod.

“Just because it’s your birthday I won’t yell at you,” she said, then in a much kinder voice, “at least do you feel better?”

“Not really,” Leo admitted, leaning on Jonah’s touch and wanting to crawl up somewhere dark and die. More people were leaving the restaurant and he wanted to hide away from their eyes, feeling like everyone knew… His stomach churned and he planted a hand on it, grimacing, “can we go home?”

Jon frowned, touching his face lightly, subtly checking for any heat, then nodded when he felt none, “yeah, of course. You guys can keep the cake, I don’t think anyone is going to eat it at home,” his voice had a slightly humorous tone and Leo blushed, but just the thought of the chocolate cake made his belly gurgle.

He groaned, “don’t even talk about it,” Leo wrapped an arm around his middle, squeezing his eyes shut as the queasiness started to come back. Luke thumped on his back in a sympathetic manner. 

“Feel better, kiddo,” he smiled, “and happy birthday.”

Leo whined as the rest of their friends did the same, side stepping the mess to tell him goodbye, Wendy being the last one. 

She squeezed his arm, “happy birthday, Leo,” her tone was teasing, “at least the hiccups stopped?”

“God, go away,” Leo groaned, muffling a burp in his hand and she grinned, kissing Jonah’s cheek. 

“You owe me a new pair of Jimmy Choo’s” Wendy warned him, waving and running to where Vince was waiting for her on his bike. 

Leo let out a sigh, falling against Jonah and groaning when his fiance let out a little chuckle at his expense. “What the fuck is a Jimmy Choo?” Leo asked, his voice muffled by Jon’s shirt, allowing the other man to pull him back to the car.

#sickfic #overeating #emeto #emetophilia #mywriting #leo wagner #food poisoning #uh that's sort of a spoiler

[aziraphales-library]

Hello amazing mod team! I was wondering if you know of any fics involving Crowley taking care of an injured/sick/Fallen Aziraphale, or vice versa? The fluffier the better. I also typically don't read AUs. Thank you all so much for what you do here. Much love!

Hi! You can check our #sick fic, #hurt aziraphale, #hurt crowley, and #fallen angel aziraphale tags for more fics like this. Here are more fluffy hurt and sick Aziraphale fics to add...

Unsteady Breaths by Elijahsworld (NR)

Happily unboxing his new collection of books, the thought that anything he would receive could be harmful to his angelic being never crossed his mind. Or Aziraphale falls ill but Crowley's there to comfort him through these rough times.

Made it out of our cages, never made it back home by ethewinter (NR)

"We were a team," said Crowley. "And a damn good one at that. I never... Out of all of the people who could've betrayed me, angel, I never would have thought it would be you. Not in a thousand lifetimes. You want to know why I'm still hurt?" Crowley straightened and looked directly into Aziraphale's eyes. His yellow eyes were filled with tears. "I never would've done this to you. Never. I don't fucking care what you think, we're an us. We've always been an us. You running off to play archangel doesn't make that different." - Aziraphale's promotion to supreme archangel doesn't work out. Crowley's left to pick up the pieces.

so I’ll take care of you (and honey, you’ll take care of me too) by sugardustedtulips (T)

“Angels don’t sneeze,” Crowley began, letting a few seconds of silence fill the atmosphere. “Wait, do they?” “I don’t know, dear. But, not to worry, I’ll be all tickety-boo in no time. It’s just the weather, you see, icy all around,” Aziraphale remarked, his tone a smidge too polite and formal for the situation. “My corporation’s merely responding to the changes-“ He had begun, before another sneeze so rudely punctuated his sentence. The muffled mucus-filled sniffles were loud enough to be transmitted to the other end of the phone, the worry in the demon’s chest rising, pounding on his ribs. “‘m coming over,” Crowley said matter-of-factly, hoping Aziraphale couldn’t somehow sense that both his legs are anxiously bouncing at breakneck speed.

Unwilling to waste miracles on himself, Aziraphale can’t miracle himself better after catching a cold. Luckily, a certain lovesick demon is there to take care of him. A sickening amount of fluff ensues (and many feelings are realised).

at the edge of the water by viperinz (G)

“Hello, dearest. Do you mind miracling a cold pack for me? I’m afraid I can’t focus enough to do it.” Crowley swallows, his eyes wide. He does what he’s asked to do, because of course he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind at all. He walks to the side Aziraphale is facing, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He hands the cold pack to Aziraphale, who gratefully takes it. “Thank you,” he whispers, and Crowley watches as he puts the pack on his right thigh. Aziraphale sighs in relief, but his face still conveys how much pain he still feels. And, Crowley gets it now. The pain that needed a cold pack, the way that Aziraphale was limping. It was an injury, wasn’t it?

Crowley notices that there's something going on with Aziraphale's leg. He realizes the pain lies deeper than he first thought it would.

Eye for an Eye by Greenathena (T)

A year before the Apocalypse, Aziraphale is suddenly struck blind, losing both his corporeal and ethereal vision. To make matters worse, he's just discovered that Heaven may have some new technology to hasten the end of the world.

so grey the face of every mortal by philadelea (T)

"Now, some 6,000 years, several historical rescues, and one half-Apocalypse later, that promise tasted like ash in Crowley’s mouth. " It's been six months since Armaggeddidn't. Aziraphale has been in Hell for the last three weeks. Crowley is there to pick up the pieces.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #hurt aziraphale #sick fic #mod d

[casurlaub]

Things fanon and I don't agree on #2

Fanon: James openly pursuing Lily for YEARS, crushing on her since second year or sth, asking her out repeatedly.

Canon: ??? Based on what we know about James and Lily, the fanon depiction doesn't seem too likely to me

That's what happened in "Snape's Worst Memory":

'I will, if you go out with me, Evans,' said James quickly. 'Go on… go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.' 'I wouldn’t go out with you if  it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' said Lily.

[...]

'I don’t want you to make him apologize,' Lily shouted, rounding on James. 'You’re as bad as he is.'

'What?." yelped James. 'I’d never call you a - you-know-what!'

'Messing up your hair, because you think it’s cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, shoving off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

[...]

'What is it with her?,' said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. 

'Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,' said Sirius. 

'Right,' said James, who looked furious now, 'right-'

There was another flash of light and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air. 

'Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?' 

I take two things from that:

James was surprised by Lily's rejection. Now I fully agree that he has a huge ego and although smart (yes, he and Sirius were described as exceptionally talented more than once) I don't think he's necessarily too good at reading other people's emotions (I mean, it's obviously not super smart to bully her friend in front of her and expect it to turn out in his favor). But if she had turned him down repeatedly over the years already her reaction wouldn't have come as such a surprise to him. But he obviously is surprised ('What's it with her?'/'Right... right')

He doesn't react well to rejection. She turns him down and he escalates ('Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?'). He isn't used to rejection. Everybody thinks he and Sirius are 'the height of cool' (Remus's words). He has been doted to by his parents and is super popular at school. And then she dares bruise his ego and he escalates. He doesn't strike me as the type of guy who would've just swallowed this humiliation and tried again and again. I think he really needed to mature first to have a few realizations - before he tried again.

And, another thing: In 'The Prince's Tale' we see a memory of Snape talking to Lily: 'I didn't mean - I just don't want to see you made a fool of - he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!' The words seemed wrenched from him against hs will. 'And he's not... Everyone thinks... Big Quidditch hero-' Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling further and further up her forehead.

Snape might be driven by his desperation and his own feelings for Lily, pointing out something that she had already realized herself (because he just needs her to realize). But to me him saying that ('He fancies you, James Potter fancies you') doesn't make much sense if James had been asking her out repeatedly. If he had, him fancying Lily would be common knowledge. I don't think Snape would say it if James was this level of obvious about his feelings. Snape respects Lily, he doesn't think she's stupid.

Also I, personally, don't think Lily would have taken well to his persistent advances. That's just my opinion and my personal read on the matter, though. I know it's all fiction and in the end people can do what they want.

#go for your own headcanons #marauders #marauders canon #marauders era #james potter #lily evans #jily #sirus black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #severus snape

[ohmtoff]

Shots, shots, shots (Part 2)

Nick Sturniolo x Masc!OC

read part 1

Summary: Nick is most definitely not having fun at a frat party Madi dragged him to, but this boy who’s staring at him hungrily may help him to have a good time (or: a very cliche and very self-indulgent fic of Nick getting it on with a frat bro)

WC: 5.5k

Contains: college!AU, frat bro!oc, anal sex, bottom!nick, top!oc, making out, blow job, rimming, fingering, dirty talk, slight spanking, light dom/sub, slight slut shaming

Disclaimer: read part 1 for background. will contain grammar mistakes, english is not my first language

a/n: well. this was a beast to write LMAO. so sorry for the long wait, i've just been rlly demotivated to write and my draft was just so so long that i often got overwhelmed and just didnt revise it altogether😭 anyways hope it isn't too long and hope you enjoyyy

------------------------------------------------------------

“Welcome to my room, also known as the room of the president of this shithole.” Evan plops himself down in the rolling chair at his desk, turning to face Nick on the bed. “Does that make this the shithole headquarters? Shoes off please.”

Nick groans, hiding his face in his hands, peeking out from in between his fingers in embarrassment, pulling off his shoes and throwing them over to Evan who arranges them neatly next to his at the door. “Please, don’t. I didn’t mean it.”

“Don’t lie baby. You meant every word."

The objection from before comes out sharply. “I thought I told you not to call me baby.”

Evan pouts, jutting out his lower lip and widening his eyes in a silent plea. “But I rather like the nickname on you. Very fitting. And becoming.”

“Well, I don’t.”

Evan pauses, lost in a moment of thought before turning his gaze back towards Nick, his brows drawn together. “How about we make a deal…” The other boy starts slowly, choosing his words carefully. “…if I can make you like being called baby by the end of the night, I get to keep calling you baby.”

“And if you can’t? What do I get in return?”

“I stop calling you baby.”

“That hardly seems fair.” Now it’s Nick’s turn to pout. “That doesn’t seem like much of a prize for winning.” Time to have a little fun.  He continues, slyly. “How about if I win, then I get to call you princess?” Evan visibly blanches, and Nick’s inner self laughs as he watches the color drain from the other boy’s face. Priceless. “What?” Nick goes wide-eyed, blinking with a faux innocence. “You need to be able to take what you dish out too, Evan.”

The other boy laughs. “Fair enough. Deal.” Nick quivers as Evan’s eyes darken, one side of his mouth quirked up in a perceptive smile. “But I’ll just have you know, I never lose.”

Okay, a bit conceited, but undeniably also hot.

Evan paces over, plopping down next to him on the bed, and in one swift motion, pulls him over into his lap. Nick holds his breath as the other boy stares at him, tracing over every inch of his face with his eyes. He lets out a little gasp as Evan presses his thumb into the corner of his mouth, pulling down a bit so he can taste the other boy. And he hopes his lips are luscious enough from his watermelon lip balm as Evan starts running his thumb along his bottom lip, Nick’s tongue darting out to wet his lips unconsciously, brushing against the other boy’s finger. A low groan rises from Evan, and Nick takes in delightedly seeing the other boy’s pupils dilate with arousal. “Fuck, Nick. You’re really pretty, you know that?”

“Of course I do.” The words come out with a lot more bravado than he feels as Evan’s other hand tightens on his waist, his thumb rubbing small circles over his skin. Nick had expected everything to happen fast and hard so the way the other boy is studying him so intently is a bit disconcerting, the attention bringing out a sudden shyness from him, unsure of what he should do or say. Evan trails his hand down to his neck, splaying his fingers out against Nick’s skin, thumb running along his jaw.

“Beautiful.” The word comes out drawn-out, Evan breathing all his longing into it, and Nick’s eyes automatically close, letting it run through him as the other boy presses down on the pulse point of his neck, feeling the blood rushing to his head. His breath hitches as Evan starts at his collarbones, searing open-mouthed kisses into his skin, the tip of the other boy’s tongue forming small circles as he moves upwards, Evan’s lips soft against his skin. Evan goes slow, a bit too slow for his taste, and his impatience tears a needy whine from his throat, tugging on the other boy’s hair for emphasis, making Evan let out a low throaty chuckle against his neck. “Be patient, baby.”

Nick doesn’t have the energy to object, breathing heavily as the other boy finally reaches his mouth, Evan’s hand cupping his face, fingers spread over his cheek tilting his head, and Nick moans into the kiss as Evan catches his lower lip first, gently nibbling. God. And the other boy’s mouth is moving over his, tasting like drunken mistakes, and Nick can’t tell whether it’s him moaning or Evan anymore as the other boy deepens the kiss, his tongue hot and heavy in his mouth. The pleasure mounts, and Nick whines, desperately trying to find some relief as he feels himself getting hard, grinding onto Evan’s lap as the other boy runs his tongue over his.

Evan breaks off their kiss first, nuzzling into his neck, murmuring. “So needy baby, and we’re not even close to done.” Then fuck me already. “If you’re really that desperate already, you’re welcome to ride my thighs as we make out.” The noise of indignance from Nick makes the other boy laugh.

“I thought we came upstairs to fuck.” Nick hisses, halfway affronted that Evan hasn’t even made a move to take off his clothes, his cock starting to feel uncomfortably restrained in his jeans.

“Don’t worry, you’re definitely going to get fucked baby.” Evan grins at him cheekily. “But I enjoy playing with my food before eating it.” The analogy makes Nick flushes, the thought of the other boy eating him out very appealing right now. 

Nick lets the other boy lift him up slightly, Evan’s hands taking the chance to squeeze his ass, rearranging him so he has the other boy’s thigh squarely between his legs, the feeling of Evan’s tensing underneath him making his cock twitch. Evan steadies him with hands on his waist, his own hands resting on Evan’s shoulders as he starts moving, feeling the friction of Evan’s body against him building his excitement. Nick whines when the other boy makes no move to do anything as he starts falling into a rhythm. Don’t just stop. Evan seems to understand without him saying anything further, mouth curving into a half-smile. “I like to watch sometimes. Pretty things deserve to be admired.”

The words only deepen his arousal, making it pool in his stomach as he moves, closing his eyes and letting the feeling overtake him. Nick moans as he feels Evan’s lips on him, kittenish licks against his sensitive skin as he rolls his hips against the other boy, slow and hard. “Mmm, your thighs are actually quite nice though.”

Nick inhales as Evan scrapes his teeth against his skin, the rough feeling a sharp contrast from his previous kisses, murmuring. “I don’t know whether I should take that as a compliment or be insulted that you sound surprised about it.”

“It’s not like I would kn-“ His words are cut off abruptly as Evan slides his hand fully underneath his shirt, brushing his thumb over his nipple, drawing out another low moan as Evan pinches it, rolling his nipple between his thumb and index finger.

“But yes. Lots and lots of squats. And playing soccer for the school team.”

“Are you any good?”

“Yeah," Evan’s breath is hot against his ear, teasingly sweet, the whisper making a thrill run through him. “Added plus if you like it, baby.”

“I-I d-do.” Nick curses himself for stammering, the other boy choosing that exact instant to start nibbling on his earlobe again, a particularly sensitive spot for him. Evan’s throaty moan into his ear almost physically hurts, the hand cupping his ass and squeezing not helping matters.

“God, fuck. Vou meter em você ate você gritar meu nome.”

Nick doesn’t understand what it means, but the low growl into his ear makes him aroused anyway, the urge to be fucked getting stronger by the minute. “Don’t know what the fuck you just said, but it sounded hot.”

“I said I’m gonna fuck you until you scream my name.” Nick gasps as Evan bites down a bit hard at the base of his neck, surely leaving a mark on his skin for tomorrow. And he doesn’t think he minds, the thought of everyone knowing about this making him curl up on the inside with embarrassment that somehow only serves to heighten his arousal. But maybe it doesn’t even matter if Evan leaves any marks as half the room had seen them go upstairs together. 

“Then do it.” His sharp demand just makes the other boy shake his head, the amusement at his frustration evident on Evan’s features. The other boy leans backwards languidly, resting with his elbows on the bed, stopping to just stare at him. The silence goes on for too long, and Nick can feel himself getting flushed as Evan does nothing but rake his gaze over him. “What?”

The other boy comes closer slowly, taking his goddamn time, and Nick feels as if his audacity may have gotten him into trouble, Evan looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. He doesn’t move as the other boy gets closer, the feeling of Evan’s fingers on his lips again, nail digging in at the corner of his mouth, dipping in ever so slightly. And Nick parts his lips, mewling as the other boy slips them in, automatically sucking, the anticipation of possibly having Evan’s fingers curling deliciously in his ass making him eager and hungry. The fingers pressing down on his tongue, sliding further back makes him nearly gag, and Evan strokes his cheek in response, murmuring an apology, pulling his fingers out slightly as Nick continues to slick them with saliva.

“Pretty mouth, sharp tongue.” He makes a noise of displeasure when Evan takes out his fingers. “I bet you look beautiful sucking cock.” The bold statement makes him flush, makes him remember his earlier thoughts, his eyes flicking downwards to stare again at the other boy’s tattoo, somehow forgotten and like a distant memory.

It ripples when he breathes.

Evan’s amused laugh makes him feel embarrassed, caught staring a few beats too long. “Do you like it?” The other boy’s fingers run through his hair, ruffling it, his thumb brushing Nick’s cheek. “Does it turn you on?” Nick doesn’t know what to say. “I’ll tell you a secret.” Evan’s breath on his ear. “If it turns you on, it means you really like get railed in bed baby. Especially by me.” The slow grin spreads over the other boy’s face as Evan watches his eyes widen, his mouth gaping, utterly speechless.

Evan’s eyes narrow, his voice low and silky, no longer playful and amused, and Nick finds it difficult to swallow as he sees Evan slowly unbuckling his belt, counting the belt holes one by one as the the other boy pulls at the end excruciatingly slowly. One. Two. Three. Four. And he’s waiting, his body coiled tightly, the tenseness making him almost shiver as he watches, the top button and the zipper that comes down slowly.

The red of Evan’s boxers are showing now, the sharp edge against the other boy’s skin. “I want you on your knees.” The words are demanding, suffocating, and Nick finds the other boy isn’t the only one that wants him on his knees, the prospect of having more than just fingers in his mouth making him dizzy. He gets up obediently, waiting what seems like forever for Evan to part his legs, and the other boy pats his inner thigh, motioning for him. “Come, baby.” Nick bites his lower lip, wanting to retort, but Evan’s head is tilted dangerously, his expression calculating, and the words leave no room for argument, short and clipped.

He drops to his knees, Evan’s hand at the back of his neck guiding him closer, his other hand pulling down the waistband of his boxers so that his cock spills out, the full barrel of the other boy’s gun tattoo coming into view, and Nick isn’t sure which is hotter, the desire for Evan to fuck his brains out overwhelming him. At least I know it does point to his cock. And maybe on a good day, he’d find this arrogant, but right now, he just wants his mouth to be filled.

“Can you show me how good you are at sucking cock baby?” The other boy cradles his cheek, his thumb caressing his jawline, and it feels soft, the light touch making him want to please, nodding his head. Evan’s fingers tighten in his hair as he goes down, slowly wrapping his mouth around just the tip, gaze turned upwards to stare at the other boy prettily, knowing the effect it has. Two can play at this game. Evan doesn’t disappoint, a low moan drawn out of him as Nick moves down slowly, getting used to the feeling of the other boy’s length in his mouth, too long since the last time he’s sucked cock.

But judging by the noises the other boy is making, he sure hasn’t forgotten how to.

Nick sucks harder, hollowing out his cheeks, attempting to go down as far as he can, feeling the tip in the back of his throat, thankful that he doesn’t have much of a gag reflex. He goes slow, wanting to savor the feeling of fullness in his mouth, letting his lips slide along the other boy’s cock, wetting it with his tongue, running it along the vein down the side, imagining Evan filling his ass. His eyelids fluttering in pleasure as he feels Evan tugging on his hair lightly, urging him to go faster, ignoring the spit that dribbles out as he half gags on the other boy’s cock. He’s always given messy blowjobs anyway. But Evan’s thumb wipes at the corner of his mouth, smearing a trail across his cheek, a dirtiness that feels all too enthralling.

“Baby, you look so pretty like this.” The breathy compliment only encourages him further, his head bobbing up and down at a quickened pace. And he’s given up trying to be coy, concentrating instead on Evan’s tattoo as he moves up and down, remembering his shameless display of behavior from earlier in the night, licking all the way down trying to get in the other boy’s pants. Trying to get here, with Evan’s cock shoved in his mouth. Nick moans as the other boy gets a little too impatient, the hand at the back of his head now pushing him down firmly, his hips rolling upwards to meet Nick’s mouth.

“Fuck, fuck.”

He knows what the swears mean, and Nick tries eagerly to make it happen, his hands bracing themselves on Evan’s ass, waiting for his chance to taste the other.

Evan pulls out of his mouth and Nick can’t hide his disappointment, a whine coming out unwittingly. That whine was replaced with a gasp as the other boy leans down and kisses him. Nick is swallowed up by Evan completely, taking out all the air in his lungs. They’re both panting heavily when Evan stops, his hand caressing Nick’s cheek, a nice, even, slow touch that feels both heavy and light all at the same time.

“I want to come in you.” Evan kisses the tip of his nose, a soft peck that makes Nick’s the butterflies in his stomach fly up into his chest, the action and words making him feel two entirely different things. The other boy doesn’t wait for him to respond, getting up and squatting down to sweep him up bridal style, one arm cradled under his knees, the other at his back, the change making him let out a squeak of surprise.

He wraps his arms around the other boy’s neck instinctively, the twinge of soreness in his knees only noticeable now that he isn’t on the floor anymore.  Evan deposits him on the bed gently, his head settling on the pillow, suddenly feeling small as the other boy looms over him, Evan making quick work of pulling off his pants, his boxers, and Nick stares as the expanse of skin comes into view, the other boy fully naked.

Evan pauses for a second, hesitant, before asking, his voice catching in his throat. “Can I undress you baby?”

He nods, not daring to make a sound, holding his breath as Evan starts from the bottom, unbuttoning his pants, and Nick lifts his butt upwards slightly so the other boy can pull them off, his boxers coming off right after, his cock still hard, hissing as the cold-ish air hits his skin. And then the tank top is being pulled over his head, his arms stretched upwards. He moans as the other boy starts planting kisses over his body, starting from his neck and trailing downwards to his cock, a groan of need vibrating in the back of his throat as Evan kisses the tip, bucking his hips up for more, hands pressing in a burning warmth over the skin of his inner thighs.

“Baby.” Evan says it almost reverently, as if Nick is everything, and he feels every syllable down to his toes and tips of his fingers as Evan continues. “You’re so beautiful. And fuckable.” And it’s the way the other boy says it, the tone a mix between waiting to worship and use him, that gets him off, and Nick thinks that maybe he’s in trouble. “Get on your hands and knees for me. Facing that way.”

Nick does, facing the closed door to Evan’s room in anticipation. He can hear the other boy shifting on the bed behind him, feeling Evan’s hand on his ass, one hand squeezing lightly. The sound of a drawer opening, the other boy rummaging around for a few moments. “Fuck.” The tone isn’t encouraging, and Nick glances back, trying to get a glimpse of Evan. “I ran out of condoms.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Nick groans as he falls over on to the bed on his back, looking up to stare with wide-eyed disappointment at Evan, who’s running his hand through his black hair, the frustration knotting his brows together as he stares down at his phone. “No, I’m not, but just lemme text Nate. He’ll just steal some from his roommate.” Nick nearly gets his head taken off as the other boy throws a few things at him. “In the meantime, pick your favorite flavor.”

“My what?” Nick looks down at the colorful bottles presented to him. “Oh my god, who the fuck needs this much lube?”

Evan laughs. “I like to provide options baby.”

Nick stares at the other boy, aghast. “Why don’t you just use plain old lube.”

“Mmm.” Evan leans down to kiss him, his teeth catching Nick’s bottom lip in a small bite. “Because I want to eat you out until your legs shake so hard you can’t keep yourself up.” The other boy ends with statement with a kiss on his forehead. “So pick.”

Nick bites his bottom lip so a pathetic whine won’t come out his mouth. “Fine, strawberry.”

There’s a knock on the door, the sound of Nate’s voice making its way through from the other side. “You’re the fucking worst, Evan. I was talking to that hot AKA girl I told you about and I was so close to kissing her. But yeah, leaving the box out here like you asked, you ingrate.”

“Sorry, man.” Evan laughs his friend’s outrage.

Evan strides to the door, opening it just a crack and crouching down to sneak his hand out before retrieving the box, closing the door firmly behind him.

Nick eyes the other boy, not quite trusting Evan quite so much now. After all, Evan quite literally just had to phone-a-friend to get condoms. “Aren’t you going to lock the door?” The other boy grins at him, the smile spreading across his face in unrestrained delight. “Why? Does it bother you? Scared someone will walk in?”

“No.” Nick raises his voice defensively, not willing to admit any sign of weakness. “Just thought it might be best since, you know, like a quarter of the school is downstairs partying.”

“Mmm, but doesn’t the possibility of getting caught turn you on baby?” Evan tilts his chin up, staring down at him teasingly, the dangerous look lighting the arousal in his groin again, feeling his cock respond even if his mind doesn’t want to admit it. “The thought that someone could walk in and see me fucking you from behind. Or on your back while I’m plowing into you. Or you bouncing on my dick. ” Evan’s eyes narrow, Nick’s dilated pupils making him more than a little excited, anticipation curling in his stomach again. 

“Not really.”

“Hmmm, I thought you’d be the type that is into that sort of thing.” Evan smiles at him, all too innocently. “Maybe you will be the next time I fuck you.” Nick squeals as the other boy brings his hands up underneath his ass where he’s sitting, pushing him upwards, back into position on his hands and knees. “Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to find out if you do like it baby.” Nick moans, feeling Evan’s hands on his waist, fingers digging into his hips, spreading his ass with his hands, his thumbs digging into his skin, the slight puff of hot breath against his asshole making him automatically clench. “And it’s okay, people know what my door being closed means.”

He hears the sound of the cap being opened, the splutter of lube being squeezed out, and he hisses at the cold feeling, Evan rubbing his thumb in circles over his asshole, the feeling him pressing inwards slightly making him tense. And the other boy spreads his cheeks again, blowing, the cold making the goosebumps rise up on his skin, a shiver run through him.

Nick moans, exhaling a huge breath, his eyes rolling back in pleasure as he feels Evan’s tongue against him, lapping, licking at his asshole, smearing the lube around, the wetness spreading to the inside of his thighs. The gasp is ripped from him as he feels the other boy dip his tongue in, the heated feeling making him push his ass backwards, desperately craving more. Nick mewls as Evan alternates between pushing his tongue in and light sucks, the other boy’s nose pressed up against his skin. Fuck. And his thighs are already starting to quiver, his legs feeling weak as Evan tongue fucks him, his moans muffled and lost in the other boy’s bedsheets, his face pressed into the bed, all his effort spent trying to keep his ass nice and high up in the air for Evan, the smell of citrus on the sheets filling his nose, reminding him of the smell in the other boy’s hair.

His noises only encourage Evan, and Nick lets out a pant of desire when the other reaches around to fist his cock, the slow stroking motion making the arousal build, Evan’s thumb smearing the precum over the tip. “Fuck, Evan, please.” Nick is only half aware of the other boy, the sound of his wanton moans filling the room, flooding his mind. “P-Please, please. Get in me.” His voice is shaky, his words garbled and only half-formed, dropping from his lips like small spurts of begging before ending in breathless moans. Rinse and repeat. He feels the loss as Evan stops his ministrations, the growl about to come out, but before he can protest, he feels Evan’s finger, slicked and probing at his hole, the first digit sliding in easily as Nick dissolves into a needy moan, Evan pumping into him far too slowly.

More.

He whines, and Evan chuckles, words low and sweet. “You’re so needy baby.” Nick doesn’t even gasp as the second finger goes in, the feeling of being filled every so slightly, Evan’s fingers slick against the inside of his walls as they move in and out. The gasp only comes as the other boy stretches him out, fingers spreading apart to scissor him open, a slow and steady stretch that makes Nick whimper with want to be filled with more. “So needy and beautiful for me, on your hands and knees. More?” The other boy doesn’t wait for his response, eliciting a sharp cry from Nick as a third finger is inserted, a feeling of fullness finally overcoming him, his hole clenching around Evan’s fingers as they go in. His legs are finally starting to give out, his thighs trembling even more as Evan runs his fingers in between his legs, and the other boy finally finds the sweet spot, Nick crying out as Evan brushes against it, curling his fingers deep into his ass, releasing the tension in his body that he isn’t even aware that he’s holding. He scrabbles at the sheets, digging his fingers in, moaning brokenly. “Oh, oh, oh, theretherethere, please, oh god.”

And he’s on the brink, the repeated pleasure as Evan thrusts his fingers in sending him into a dizzy spiral, the need to release hitting him hard and fast. “Shi-Evan, ‘m gonna come, want you in me so bad, please, please– Ev, c’mon, fuck me.”

It happens so fast that Nick nearly doesn’t realize, only the sound of the condom packaging ripping, the noise seemingly too loud, drowning out everything else in his head, and his low whimper at being denied his release provoking a guttural groan from Evan.

Nick groans as he feels Evan’s tip push into him. The latter continues to push himself in gently, knowing he’s big and Nick needs to take his time to fully get used to his girth. Nick can feel himself being stretched out even further, panting heavily at the feeling of the biggest cock he’s ever had.

“That’s it,” Evan praises, “that’s my baby,” he coos, Nick’s high-pitched moan falling out of his mouth involuntarily as he forces himself to relax and not clench too much, letting Evan fill him nicely. He feels incredibly full when Evan snaps his dick in before letting go, letting Nick dictate the rhythm and rock back onto his dick. “Perfect,” Evan grunts, enjoying the view of Nick’s ass rippling as it bounces on his hips. The sound of Nick’s desperate and wet moans accompanied with the slap, slap, slap of his ass hitting the other’s hips filling the room.

It was when Nick falls into a sex-drunk state, begging and moaning as he moves without an ounce of rhythm, just pure desperation that Evan grabs his hips and arches his back even more, angling his ass even higher into the air. Nick lets out a helpless whimper as Evan thrusts straight back into him, hands angrily grabbing Nick’s hips as he gives no time to wait, just jackhammers into Nick who is desperate for that sweet relief, a string of curse words and interrupted moans loudly falling out his lips as Evan takes him roughly, quickly.

“You love it, don’t you?,” Evan grits out, thrusts stuttering and brutal as Nick knows he’s about to come, “love being bent over, thick ass in the air,” he grunts, slapping Nick’s ass with a force than means there’ll be a handprint there for days, making the other squeal. “You love being a slut for me, huh?”

“I’m – I’m – please!- ” The brunette sobs, Evan nailing him on his prostate at every thrust.

“F-fuck, Nick. I’m close.”

It’s Evan’s awed wonder and pure arousal breathed into his name that does him in, making his body tense and his hole to tighten. Nick hears Evan let off a barrage of swearing, the thrusts into him becoming more forceful, the bed creaking with his brutal pounding, Evan’s grip on his waist tightening hard enough that Nick’s sure he’ll leave bruises blooming tomorrow as a reminder of tonight. And at first he thinks he’s chasing the high, but it’s the high chasing him as the spring coiling tightly finally releases.

He comes hard and fast, his mouth open in a silent scream as he falls limp, his legs fully giving way, his body continuing to ride out whatever Evan gives him, the other boy’s final few thrusts only extending his ebbing pleasure. Nick weakly cries out when he feels Evan come inside him, pulsating against his walls. Evan presses his front to Nick’s back as he groans, his thighs shaking from exertion and the earth-shattering orgasm.  

Nick winces when the other boy finally does pull out, feeling hollow as Evan brushes his lips against his ass, peppering kisses against his skin as he lets Nick sink into the bed. He feels sated, still riding the high from his orgasm, and he lets out a slight groan of protest as Evan wraps his arms around him, pulling him in to spoon, the stickiness uncomfortable against his ass. He lets the other boy do it anyway, the warm breath against the back of his neck comforting as they cuddle.

It was when he was seconds away from closing his eyes that he has the daunting realization that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He maneuvers his upper body slightly, using his arms as leverage to pry himself from Evan’s grasp, rolling himself over to face the other boy, grimacing as his ass complains. Well, that’s gonna hurt in the morning. He’s not quite sure what to say, how to respond to the other boy, who seems to be half-asleep already as well, eyes blinking slowly, gaze unfocused as he searches Nick’s face.

“Well,” Nick coughs, feeling the regret starting to seep into him at letting this beautiful stranger fuck him into the best sex he’s had in months--maybe ever. The realization that he’s likely just another weekend hookup. “Uhh, this was good.” He wants to kick himself immediately after saying it, the words feeling unwieldy and awkward in his mouth. “I mean, this was great.” The greatest I’ve ever had. “But I think I’ve got to get going now. I mean, Madi’s probably wondering where I am and stuff, and it’s getting kind of late.” Nick feels himself babbling in his panicked state, but the words make Evan’s eyes snap open, suddenly wide-awake, an incredulous look on the other boy’s face.

“What the fuck are you talking about.”

Nick chews on his lower lip, suddenly acutely aware that he’s still naked, the thought of the few agonizing minutes pulling on all his clothes before he can sneak out of Evan’s room making the feeling of dread pool in his stomach. “I mean, I’m going to leave now? That’s what you want right? Just to fuck?”

“God, no.” Evan sits up, back ramrod straight, staring at him with an intensity that pins Nick down, unmoving. “First off, Madi is not going to miss you in the slightest.” The other boy pauses. “No offense, I’m sure you two have a great friendship, but I’m pretty sure she’s still occupied trying to get her tongue to touch a pledge’s tonsils right now.” Evan knits his eyebrows together in dismay. “And second, the only place you’re going right now is into the bathroom with me so we can shower, and I can clean you off.”

“Wait, you don’t want me to leave?” Nick asks hesitantly, the hope blooming in his chest.

The other boy gives him a confused look. “Wait, what did you think this is?”

“Uhhh, a one-night stand?”

The sharp bark of laughter from Evan startles him, seemingly out of character for the situation at hand. “Oh shit, wow. I guess Madi’s plan was to just… bring you here and hope we hit it off. It worked, of course.” Evan shakes his head, amused. “Madi’s been trying to set me up with you for months. Actually, before you even broke up with your ex-boyfriend I think. She spent the whole last semester ranting to me about how she hated your ex’s guts.” Evan’s eyes darken. “Something about not treating you right.” Nick gapes at him as Evan shakes his head. “She told me she’d drag you out tonight to meet me, but I guess she didn’t exactly tell you.”

“Oh.” Nick can feel his cheeks heating up, the warm fuzzy feeling entering his veins with an exhilaration he doesn’t expect. “So this wasn’t a one-time thing?”

“No, baby.” Evan sighs, pulling him into a hug, planting a kiss on his forehead before dragging him down into an embrace on the bed. “I’ll fuck you forever. Let me treat you dinner tomorrow? Maybe also a blowjob afterwards.”

Ugh, how romantic.

Maybe Nick doesn’t quite mind being called baby after all.

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tags: @taycherouz08 @piecesofreeses @ameerahsblog @nicksbf @thenickgirl

#nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo x oc #nick sturniolo imagine #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo x male reader #sturniolo triplets fanfiction

[abarbaricyalp]

Big kinda-sorta fill for a bunch of prompts all at once because I thought they fit well together. Don't think too hard about the logic of this one. Truly. Don't. Written for the @sambuckylibrary Anniversary Event! Cw: violence, blood, injury, medical procedures (on page and discussed), radiation poisoning (sickness, pain, and gore affiliated), body horror (in a dream) Read on AO3!

Upon Faith

It's 10:34 AM on a Thursday morning when the Winter Soldier kills the GRC delegation leader in the middle of an international summit.  He takes out every security agent who gets near him, maims most of the bystanders. He looks right into Sam's eyes as he raises a modified sig-sauer micro-rifle and shoots Sam directly in the middle of the star covering his chest.

Deliriously, as he’s falling backwards with extraordinary pain blooming along every nerve in his body, Sam thinks about how Bucky hated the shield looking like a target, and that he had designed this suit for him and put a target right over Sam's heart anyway. 

. . .

Sam woke up a day later, in a hospital room with a heavy cast around his ribs to hold him immobile at least temporarily. There was no shifting around in this behemoth. He couldn't even reach for the water on the table next to him. Normally, it was Bucky's job to bitch about whether he was getting enough fluids, to hand him water glasses and sneak in the digestive sodas Sam liked.

“It’s a bulletproof vest,” Bucky had said once, using an arm across Sam’s hips to keep him in bed. “That means the bullet doesn’t go in. It doesn’t mean the impact doesn’t hit you.”

Sam tried to compare that gunshot to this one. He hadn’t been wearing his Captain America suit that time, just regular kevlar. But the shot had come from a handgun from much further away. The micro-rifle was designed for performance and Bucky had been right in front of him. The vibranium was strong, but that blast had cut right through Sam. What kind of bullet was it? One large one? Or a volley of fire? He couldn’t even remember the sound of it firing.

"It wasn't him," Sam said as soon as someone walked in the door–brought forth by the increased rate in his heart monitor. “I know him better than you do. That wasn’t him.”

He was surprised to see that it was Everett Ross who had walked in the door. If for no other reason than he thought Ross was in Wakanda again. Ross looked up from a file folder thicker than a fist. “Now why am I not surprised to hear you say that, Captain?” he asked. “Nevertheless, you’re not to contact him. You understand of course.”

Sam’s jaw tightened and he tried to sit up again. It didn’t work again. “It wasn’t him. He’s in danger. He’s undercover right now.”

Ross scoffed slightly. “I don’t think he’s the best candidate for undercover work. Pretty identifiable.”

Sam sighed in frustration, tossing his head to the side because he couldn’t do anything with his arms. “Ask your girlfriend. She’d know more than me.”

Unfiltered disgust flashed across Ross’s face. He practically flushed green. “She’s not my girlfriend,” he said sharply. “I heard you two had a falling out,” he added, prodding at old bruises that Sam didn’t want to expose. “You two haven’t spoken in months.”

“He didn’t do it,” Sam repeated.

“The only stable thing in his life gets cut out like that…” Ross suggested with a shrug. “Could make anyone lose it. Especially after prolonged time with Valentina.”

“Bucky’s not a bomb,” Sam almost snarled. “He’s not going to explode from a pin-prick. He’s in trouble. Whatever’s going on, he has a target on his back now.”

“You could say that,” Ross agreed. “Where is he?”

Sam almost managed to throw his hands up in the air. The AC cut on above them and Sam listened to it hum and churn while he stared at Ross. “I don’t know. Like you said, we haven’t talked since he was assigned to the Thunderbolts.”

“Why not?” Ross prodded, poking harder at the bruise encasing Sam’s heart.

Sam found himself shaking his head. He wasn’t sure where the gesture actually came from. The actual answer was that Sam knew Bucky was hiding something from him. Something about this assignment, about the team. He’d adopted this asinine habit of taking on all the dirt and blood that could possibly be slung at Sam, doing all the shady work that Sam came up against recently. Sam had confronted him about it, this assignment had come in, Bucky left without so much as an argument. Just a kiss to the scar under Sam’s eye. He’d been unreachable since.

But Sam couldn’t say any of that to Ross. It would only stoke the flames snaring closer to Bucky, wherever he was. Sam had learned the hard way to watch what he said to their bosses. Every watercooler conversation was some subterfuge to notch another complaint about Bucky’s pardon. Now? If Sam didn’t find Bucky before anyone else, Bucky was never going to see the light of day again.

“We decided long distance wouldn’t work,” he said drily.

Ross snorted and flipped through several pages in the tome in his hand. “Captain, the sooner you help us, the less damage he can do. Do you know he’s been MIA for almost three weeks now?”

Sam’s blood ran cold. He was glad Ross wouldn’t be able to tell how his body tensed through all of the casting on him. Three weeks? Had they even been looking for him? Sam didn’t know anything about the Thunderbolts, but he was sure the leash he was on must’ve had some slack. How long until the team’s handlers decided something was wrong? How much effort had even been put into looking for him before this?

“You think Hydra got their hands on him and reverted him,” Sam surmised. “It didn’t happen. Shuri and her team took all of that out. It took them a decade to break him last time. This wasn’t him. Something else is going on. You’re wasting time focusing on him. You’re wasting his time.”

“Then what do you think happened?” Ross asked, finally looking up at Sam for longer than a glance. He closed the file in his hand and everything.

“The same thing that happened last time,” Sam said. “A mesh-mask. A robot. A shapeshifter. A clone. I don’t know. I only saw it for a few seconds. But it wasn’t Bucky. I know him better than anyone else.”

“You were actively being shot at as well,” Ross pointed out. “I’d hardly consider that a healthy state of mind to be making judgement calls. It’s no secret that you and Barnes are a weak spot for each other. Your opinion, your defense of him, doesn’t weigh very much here.”

Sam bared his teeth and strained too hard all at once. Pain laced up his body, straight down to the bone of him. It cut through the fuzz of quality pain medications and cleared his head only to stuff it full of over-stimulation. Every bone in his chest felt like it was covered in buckshot and he couldn’t get a deep breath in, which made him panic. He was panicking about Bucky too. All his concern came flooding in at once. He wanted out of this bed. He wanted his own phone. He needed to call Bucky, even if he wouldn’t pick up. Sam could leave a message warning him.

Ross tutted and came over to increase Sam’s morphine drip. Too fast, Sam thought, fighting through the red haze and black spots creeping into his vision, that was too much all at once.

“We’ll find him, Captain,” Ross said, stepping back. “Don’t worry about that.”

“Don’t you even–” Sam started, but his tongue got heavy in his mouth and the spots in his vision grew and grew and grew. Don’t hurt him, he tried again as he fell into endless black.

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