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#like we literally have the power to create life!!!! and you think you’re inferior to men bc they can lift heavier shit than you???? honestly
myfairkatiecat · 3 months
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Every line of “anti-hero” Taylor Swift applies to at least one Hawthorne.
I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
Jameson, in every sense of these lyrics. He’s always up at night doing whatever he needs to do to not think about whatever it is he needs to avoid. He chases as much adrenaline as he needs to not feel terrible.
When my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people
I’ve ghosted stand there in the room
Grayson and Nash (Grayson bc he’s distant and Nash bc he’s avoidant)
I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)
Jameson, all the way. Also it’s possible that Xander feels this way, even though we all find his scheming quite endearing as he doesn’t seem as bent on self-destruction as Jameson
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving
Cause you got tired of my scheming (for the last time)
Grayson and Jameson bc Emily gave them issues
It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me
At tea time everybody agrees
For Jameson this could be interpreted as him feeling like he’s seen as too “ordinary” by his grandfather compared to his brothers but also knowing full well the disapproval he gets for the things he does to NOT be ordinary.
For Grayson, it could mean that he knows he has to be better than all of his siblings bc everyone knows he’s inheriting it all one day (ha.) and feels like he never lives up to it.
For Nash this looks like being the one brother who was never as involved in their grandfathers games as his brothers and always was a little more distant for the family. While he WANTS to be distant, he probably feels very confronted every time he catches sight of his relatives, even if they aren’t thinking about it that way.
For Xander, this probably refers to how he’s the youngest and least serious of his brothers and probably felt inferior as a child despite the fact that he’s the smartest of all the Hawthorne brothers
I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
Hm which Hawthorne brother will do literally anything except confront themselves and their own actions? Which Hawthorne would stare directly at the sun, but never really look at themselves? EVERY SINGLE ONE. It looks different for all of them—for Nash, it’s pretending his last name isn’t Hawthorne; for Grayson, it’s burying himself in pressure and stress and work; for Jameson, it’s living 2000 miles an hour; for Xander, who actually probably has less issues with this (he seems introspective to me), it’s always creating other things that do things and never really noticing himself doing things. I could even get into talking about Skye and Zara here if I wanted.
Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I’m a monster on the hill
To big to hang out slowly lurching towards your favorite city
Pierced through the heart but never killed
So, all four of them being extremely attractive means this can’t be taken the way it’s meant, but I imagine Nash probably has weird feelings about all his little siblings being around the same age and having all these shared experiences he is less familiar with.
Do you hear the covert narcissism disguised as altruism
Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)
Grayson, all the way. Especially after reading The Brothers Hawthorne. It’s part of what I love about his character. His internal monologue is “look at me being manipulative and asserting my power over everyone else” even when what he’s doing is perfectly fair (and sometimes when it absolutely isn’t). It’s almost like at some point, he was raised to take over his father’s business of being a billionaire who plays dirty and never learned any other way to be, and kind of hates that about himself.
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving
And life will lose all it’s meaning (for the last time)
Still Grayson and Jameson and still bc they have Emily Issues, but this version of the lyrics is how they would feel about losing Avery. Not, “she left bc she got tired of me” but “she’s gone and now everything is back to how it was when nothing meant anything”
(Chorus is the same)
I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money
She thinks I left them in the will
The family gathers round and reads it and then someone screams out
“She’s laughing up at us from hell”
I actually forgot this verse existed when I started making this post. But. This verse belongs to Tobias Hawthorne I. Duh. I guess this fits even better than I thought it did 😂 this is LITERALLY the plot of The Inheritance Games
I rest my case, “Anti-Hero” is the Hawthorne family anthem. Someone get all these boys therapy and happy endings 😭
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Takeomi, Self-Esteem and Denial (and more)
@raizelswitch, thank you for waiting!
TL;DR : I want a BD spin-off and I want it from Takeomi’s POV even though he’d be such an unreliable narrator (and like that we could also have a Akashi siblings spin-off, two birds, one stone). Takeomi has a lot of issues and making him raise children and naming him vice captain was a bad idea since it only made things worse. He had developed both an inferiority and superiority complex to cope. And we were robbed of any interaction between him and Inui, the other famous ‘can’t let go of Black Dragon even after x years’ character.
Who wants to read about 17,000 words about Takeomi (I didn’t expect to write this much, what the heck)? Clearly not Tumblr because I spent way too much time having to reorder this post, it mixed it all up everytime ! It also refused to post it for hours
The translations of Wakasa’s and Benkei’s ‘a day in his life’ as well as Takeomi’s failure story come from the Twitter user RanHaruchiyo
I feel like I made a few mistakes so there : English is not my native language, I apologize if some sentences don’t make sense. Sorry for any type of typos as well.
I referred to the past (beside the final timeline) as ‘canon-timeline’ several times because I had no clue how to name it. It’s not the futures, it’s not the original or final timeline, it’s… it’s the past until the final timeline comes in.
When you reach the top – the only way is down. (and up and down…)
Let’s get started with something very quick – Takeomi was created to be the exact opposite of Shinichiro. And when you’re the exact opposite of a character who’s perfectly good, loved by everyone (other characters and fans alike), then the writer uses you to be bad. Not necessarily evil - Takeomi isn’t evil - but ‘not good’.
And Wakui doesn’t shy away from that. I’m keeping the analysis of the kanji of the Akashi and Sano siblings’ names for the end, so I’ll just talk about the ‘shi’ of ‘Akashi’ here, to show what I mean.
司 (Akashi) means ‘administrator, official, a governor whom the emperor chose to carry on the imperial policies in provinces’. It fits Takeomi’s role pretty much, right ? He had a high rank in Black Dragon, but Shinichiro was above and that’s when it starts to be very interesting. 司 upside down gives 后. And it means ‘monarch, king, emperor, queen, empress’ – nice coincidence, isn’t it ?. It’s literally the same kanji upside down. Takeomi is Shinichiro upside down. Is that why he’s the rain bringer while Shinichiro, always being seen in a positive light, would be linked to the sun ? I already thought of Takeomi as a ‘teru teru bozu’ since they’re supposed to bring rain when hung upside down and it’s not stupid to think of Shinichiro, oh so perfect Shinichiro, as a ‘sun bringer’ – after all, like Mikey, he took over Japan, did he not ?
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Plus, the sun is their most famous goddess (Amaterasu)’s symbol, Japan’s symbol, and by such the emperor’s symbol.
And when you’re that. When you’re the mirror of such a perfect character, how can you not be made but only of flaws ? You’re made to be bad in everything he is good – and the opposite isn’t guaranteed to be true. What if making you good in things he’s bad in makes you good ? No, no, you’re supposed to be bad. Because he’s good, and you’re his polar opposite. He’s bad in excusable things. You’re bad in barely forgivable things. It’s not important for him to be a horrible fighter, even in a story centered around gang fights. It’s unforgivable for you to not know how to raise your siblings, in a story built on siblings' relationships.
And Shinichiro is great at raising Mikey and Emma, while Takeomi isn’t that much of a fighter. We see him fight a bit when he goes with Brahman to confront South about Draken’s death, but it’s not big important fights, Benkei and Wakasa, and later Senju, are the ones fighting. And Benkei and Wakasa were Black Dragon 1st generation’s main fighting power, as the guard and special attack unit captains.
(Heck, Shinichiro is listed n°1 best in bikes riders, Takeomi is n°3 worst - yet another thing he's either bad or average at. (Wakasa is n°3 best, we dont know where Benkei lies. Mikey is 2nd best, Takemichi and Senju are respectively 1st and 2nd worse))
Shinichiro is good, even when he kills. Takeomi is only ever bad or less-bad. Perhaps Wakui initially planned scenes where he was ‘good’, but they never came to be, so instead we’re stuck with a character who has a potential for a redemption arc and who never got it.
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(Look at this ! He became self aware! And finally stopped living in denial !)
(We never see him again after this btw. He never gets to talk to Sanzu.)
If there’s one thing Takeomi is good at, it’s strategy.
He is feared, he is called « God of War », he is named vice-captain…
By other people. By other delinquents. By Shinichiro.
He doesn’t think he’s the reason all of that happens. He isn’t those things, he receives them (use of passive voice). By such, if people don’t give him, then he’s left with nothing. No matter if he is good at something, if people aren’t there to tell him, then he doesn’t think he is. Takeomi thinks of his worth, his validity as a person by how others perceive him - they praise him ? He must be great ! They ignore him ? How pathetic has he become.
When do people say that ? When he’s Black Dragon Vice-Captain. When is he Black Dragon vice-captain ? When Shinichiro is on top. That’s why he panics in chapter 230 when Shinichiro tells him about disbanding the gang. If the gang gets disbanded, what does he have left ? If Shinichiro tells him to stop following him around (chapter 230: “I was always by Shin’s side”) what is he supposed to do ? He is but “an ordinary kid. Whether it be in sports, or studies, [...] just average. [...] a normal child, not special at all” (same chapter) whose childhood friend “had a mysterious charm that attracted people around him. Even with that charm, Shin never resorted to violence.[...]he was just very earnest and kind” (same chapter). Without Black Dragon he’s nothing. Without Shinichiro he’s nothing. Because he never learnt to let go of Shinichiro‘s hand, nor did he wish to. But Shinichiro just.. let go one day. We know how Shinichiro is. If he was aware of how much he is needed by Takeomi, he would have done things differently. And while he shouldn’t be responsible for Takeomi’s well-being, he is the reason whether Takeomi’s self-esteem is stable (or a bit too much over the top) or not. Takeomi made him responsible for it, and Shinichiro surely would’ve helped if he figured it out, (because Takeomi is a stranger to himself and wouldn’t have ever asked for help (he doesn’t know he needs help after all)), but Shinichiro didn’t. The same way Mikey didn’t notice why Baji acted the way he did during Valhalla arc until it was too late. It’s not because they’re childhood friends that they read each other like an open book.
Shinichiro, while he never intended to and we can’t blame him for this either, is the reason Takeomi turned out like he did. Takeomi followed him everywhere, he wouldn’t have entered delinquency if Shinichiro didn’t. Takeomi tried so hard to climb to Shinichiro’s level and kept comparing himself to him and it got worse when he was appointed the role of vice-president. His ego skyrocketed. And even if Shinichiro had noticed it, would he have figured out how to change that ? For sure, if he knew how to help he’d have helped – then again, would Takeomi accept this help ? He’s a professional when it comes to denial, he pushes everyone away. And denial is what he does best. From denying he would be nothing without the other Black Dragon founding members and hiding behind his God of War persona, to denying his involvement in Senju and Sanzu’s life. Even if Shinichiro, Wakasa and Benkei did try to help, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, who refuses to believe there’s something wrong, and by doing so who refuses to talk about it. It’s all made to protect himself from the truth. Because the truth will hurt him, facing it will make him realize he’s not special and that will shatter his self-esteem. It will make him feel painful emotions he can’t deal with. So he runs away from it, and thus, dives deeper into misery. If you refuse to see the problem, then it will grow, and Takeomi’s problems, his mistakes, grow a lot. The world changes but he doesn’t, he keeps the same behaviors, and soon they turn against him. His fame turns into debts. Debts he can’t pay anymore, but he refuses to admit it. Because he would have been able to pay, if Black Dragon had remained. Takeomi likes to live in luxury (his dream is to be a multimillionaire), so he’d keep on denying the fact he can’t afford it anymore just to carry on living this way.
Maybe the reason him and Wakasa & Benkei aren’t close isn’t that they see him as ‘Shinichiro’s childhood friend we’re obligated to endure/tolerate even though he’s insufferable’ (when the BD founding members interact, Wakasa and Benkei always tease, laugh at Shinichiro, chapter 230, Benkei “Look at all your battle scars !” Shinichiro, “Quit it !” Wakasa, “A loser in both fights and love !” Shinichiro “Hey man, that's none of your business”; chapter 269: Benkei “You sure are dumb, Shinichiro !” Wakasa, “Haha. Well, that's shin-chan for ya.”) they’re never shown as friendly toward Takeomi) but more that, even if they did try, Takeomi, unconsciously, never let them know who he really was underneath it all. To be fair, Takeomi lied to himself so strongly he wasn’t aware he wasn’t this façade he had created. I’m not sure if Wakasa and Benkei succeeded in seeing through his lies, Takeomi himself surely didn’t. Shinichiro was left but whether it be the original timeline or not, he didn’t succeed to help Takeomi. Takeomi compares himself to others (him being an ordinary kid vs Shinichiro not being one), is sensitive to criticism and compliments alike (while he didn’t seem hurt when Kakucho uno-reversed him by asking him if he had forgotten about Shinichiro after Takeomi had asked him if he had forgotten about Izana, he did react, unlike Kakucho who remained unfazed; “Drunk in the praises of my name, I became arrogant”), seeks attention and validation, makes things about himself (“[...]He talks about the Brahman Senju created as if he created it. [...] I remember he used to brag about Shinichiro's achievements as if he himself had done them[...]”, Benkei’s ‘a day in his life’) and has troubles admitting his faults (even if he eventually apologizes in chapter 230 to Senju, he is fighting back tears while doing so). Those are all things inferiority and superiority complexes share (beside the low self-esteem). And while there are signs we can’t be 100% sure he has, reading about Takeomi echoes to those two complexes. First, inferiority complex. Feeling insecure, incomplete or unworthy → “not special at all”; “I was broke and powerless“; ”at the lowest of low. But they accepted me as I was”. Withdrawal → “I got news of Shin's death. But I was too busy in struggling for money.”, that ‘too busy with money’ (in good (“treated as a VIP [...] never got short on money” and in bad “my debts piling up”) seems like the perfect excuse to avoid your friends and family. All or nothing thinking, things are either good or bad → he’s either at the top of Japan and everything is doing great or he’s not and nothing’s working in his life. Insecurity in relationships → Benkei and Wakasa are his disliked/feared people because "they look down on me" (3rd guide book) (there is no proof of that but I’ll dig into that later). Feeling good when doing better than others → only felt at ease when he was the God of War. Finding fault in others, demeaning others as a way to transfer their feelings → will go back to it way later, but his relationship with Sanzu is basically that. Shutting down because of shame, guilt, embarrassment or an inward sense of defeat → once again, what he did after he started to be indebted.
For superiority complex there’s : hiding feelings of mediocrity and underlying or persistent low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority → hiding his “powerless”, “ordinary” and all behind his mask of second in command of Black Dragon and Brahman. High valuation of self-worth, a self-image of supremacy or authority, overarching belief that they are better than others → “the first generation Black Dragon once ruled the nation - with me as the vice captain. I was feared, since my decisions determined how any conflict would end. I was called the « God of War »” . Feelings of entitlements and boastful claims that aren’t backed up by reality → he brags about Senju and Shinichiro’s achievements, they aren’t his own (even though he must have some). Which goes with: need to be in control → he’s the one who’s in charge of making Brahman gain money (and he’s the one who decided of it, Senju is against his ways), Brahman listens to him when he says they’re attacking Rokuhara Tendai and not to Senju who tell them to stop, and is convinced Senju is only where she is thanks to him, Wakasa and Benkei being around and dealing with everything (chapter 229, Takeomi: “Senju got herself included in the ‘three deities’ only through first gen Black Dragon’s support. Senju can't take this fight alone !”).
There are also signs which I can’t find quotes or panels to say Takeomi has them but, knowing the character, it wouldn’t be surprising. These include : feelings of hostility, frustration, nervousness, or aggression (he does express those but given the context it's justifiable; he's impulsively decide to go against Rokuhara Tendai even though Senju tells him no because they aren't ready, Benkei says "It's no use, Takeomi has lost his cool". There's also his nicotine addiction which does not help). Highly competitive, perfectionist paired with an avoidance for any kind of competition where efforts might be compared with others’ ; don’t do something if there are risks one would fail (he dislikes efforts (3rd guide book), so that may mean he only does things when he’s sure of his own capacities and refuse to leave his comfort zone, he doesn’t participate/try if he’s not sure of succeeding). And : unwillingness to listen to others (if BD founding members tried to take his head out of the sand, it failed). Overcompensation to specific elements of life (perhaps linked to his childhood but we have no information about it). Mood swings, often made worse by contradiction from another person (→ him seemingly aloof, becoming mad very quickly at Sanzu when he or Senju do something wrong ? His whole reaction to Draken’s death; “I'm gonna destroy Rokuhara Tandai right now.[...] Assemble everyone in Brahman for an emergency meeting !!”, followed by South’s comment in chapter 225: “It's so rare to see Akashi getting all rowdy like this.” and Senju’s trying to calm him down (only making it worse). Takeomi’s interaction with Kakucho about Izana and Shinichiro in chapter 212 too maybe). Gets offended if there’s no positive feedback.
I will like to add that no official list of signs exist or if it does, I didn’t find it. But knowing how both of these complexes work, it was interesting to talk about it, in my opinion.
(By the way, Takeomi was listed number 1 worst at ‘who is needy when dating ?’ (whereas Sanzu and Wakasa were 1st and 2nd best). Except that in Takeomi’s case the reason he’s not needy is because he's straight-up avoidant which isn't better. As opposed to Senju and Draken (2nd and 3rd worst) who seem non-needy in a healthy way.)
Takeomi wants to stand at the top, Shinichiro knows how to go up there, so he just has to tag along, easy-peasy. But like for a jungle gym, you have to get down one day. Did Shinichiro want to become Japan's number 1 ? I’m not that sure. It may have been a goal, but not the main one. What he liked most was the journey, not the destination, if it was then he wouldn’t have disbanded Black Dragon. But Takeomi wants to go on top of the jungle gym. Takeomi wants to be Japan number 1. Forever. Takeomi wants to learn how you get up there and how to stay/keep standing still.
That’s one of the most tragic point with Takeomi in my opinion. He was the brain of Black Dragon, he was the brain of Braham (it may have been an excuse but Senju recruited him for his guidance, his wisdom), and he was, supposedly as Mikey’s advisor, the brain of Bonten. He knows how to get on top of Japan. He knows how to become influential, how to make money (Brahman’s B-1 fighting club), how to recruit people and make them stay, he knows which decision to take to assure victory or defeat.
He’s smart, insanely. And he. doesn’t. see. it. If he did, he could have managed to live without the gang.
For Takeomi, it’s not that he becomes number 1, it’s that there’s a number 1 by his side and he knows how to follow them (his special skill is ‘taking advantage of others’ (3rd guide book)). He is aware he was the lead actor as to why victory or defeat were but – Takeomi isn’t a fighter. Wakasa and Benkei are. Shinichiro sucked at it but he was still insanely strong.
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Takeomi doesn’t fight and that’s not his role. He likely knows how to pull out punches and other fight moves but as a ‘God Of War’ he’s mainly a strategist. He takes decisions, Shin agrees or not (and Shin is the one who has the last say), Wakasa and Benkei, and the rest of the gang, apply. (chapter 224, Benkei answering “yes, sir” to one of Takeomi’s command (even though Senju is clearly against it))
However, he’s not the one who brought them together. All of what he has. It’s thanks to Shinichiro. Wouldn’t be number 1 without him. Wouldn’t be friends with Wakasa and Benkei without him. Takeomi lives on what Shinichiro gave him. Him, an average, good-for-nothing kid. And when it’s time to say farewell to all of that – he doesn’t.
Shinichiro has his own shop. Wakasa and Benkei have their own gym.
Takeomi stays as if he was still on top. As if he wasn’t already falling, as if the impact on the ground wouldn’t damage him. As if Shinichiro, who decided climbing the jungle gym wasn’t fun anymore, didn’t stop stabilizing him.
He lives in denial. And it works at the beginning. People still think of them as number 1 so it’s not too hard. But then they realize they aren’t. But Takeomi is an average kid. In everything. He’s only good at what Shinichiro designed him as. And he didn’t think he'd be good at it. He isn’t good at anything else. He can’t do anything else. So it goes on.
The debts pill up.
Shinichiro dies.
And ? And repeat. Without the debts, this time.
Senju, joyous, cheerful, strong-willed Senju, asks him to join her gang. As her second in command. Even though he is “broke and powerless”. “At the lowest of low” (chapter 230). Even though Wakasa and Benkei are right there.
(Shinichiro asked him to be his vice captain. Even though Takeomi was average, good at nothing but following his childhood friend around. Even though Shinichiro had become friends with Wakasa and Benkei who were in this world since way longer.)
And so Brahman is created.
Their prestige comes back. They remember mannerisms days after days, they remember how you do it. Brahmam grows. They have hundreds of members, they make a lot of money with deals and underground fights. Whereas Wakasa and Benkei moved on (or, way more than Takeomi did), Takeomi didn’t and it shows even in their Brahman uniforms. If you look closely, they don’t have the same patterns on their sleeves – Wakasa and Benkei both got flowers, although different from the other’s (same thing for Senju) but Takeomi has a dragon. (Average Brahman members have the same thing they have on the back of their uniforms)
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Draken dies. Draken dies. He shouts it – It’s not a childish brawl (chapter 224). I find it hard to believe that during Black Dragon 1st Gen, they never lost anyone, but Draken’s death snaps him back to reality. It isn’t like it was with Shinichiro. There’s no fun. It’s war. Standing at the top isn’t like standing on a jungle gym. Draken is dead and so is Shinichiro. Why isn’t he ? (chapter 225, Takeomi: “Souuuuuuuth !! Why did you kill Draken !? He wasn't even a formal member of Brahman ! If you wanted to kill someone it should've been me !”)
Either Draken dies, or Senju does.
For what else would have Takeomi joined Bonten ? Actually, let me change that question ; where is and what does Senju do in Bad Toman and Manila timelines ?
Because Mikey goes down a dark path in all the timelines so, did she try to stop him ? If yes, is she dead ? The three deities battle might or not have happened (South wouldn’t have the same members if that’s the case – Tenjiku never came to be in Bad Toman and Izana is alive in Manila). And… And if that’s the case or not – why are Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi nowhere to be seen ?
Wakasa and Benkei work in a way that opposes Takeomi. Not only with how they dealt with Black Dragon disbandment but how they dealt with Senju’s death. No matter how it happened, Takeomi joins Mikey after his sister’s death (Bonten), Wakasa and Benkei join Kanto Manji when Senju doesn’t (nowhere to be seen in Bonten).
Difference being, if Senju dies, Wakasa can’t witness Mikey’s dark impulses and can’t talk to him about it. And even if he witnessed it, if Senju is dead, would Wakasa care ? Wakasa must know there’s nothing against the dark impulses so why join Kanto Manji ? They love Senju, their princess, do they want to keep her safe ? Surely. Why take this option then?
It's never stated. So it's interpretation/theory time.
Wakasa would choose Shinichiro over Mikey. In chapter 270, he says "Honeslty speaking, I'm glad that Manjiro has passed. I was worried that you'd be first to die [...] Right now, you're just rotting away", now, Wakasa from the original timeline and from canon-timeline aren't the same. Original timeline Wakasa had the time to accept Shinichiro had lost his brother (and Mikey could perhaps regain consciousness one day, but the more day passes, the more the chances lower), but he couldn't see his friend rot away. His previously bright and charismatic friend was being devoured by sleep deprivation, helplessness and so much more. Hence, if Mikey dying would free Shinichiro from his suffering (although it would also add to it, he wouldn't have to work himself to the bone to take care of Mikey, and would finally have time to process all of what happened to him) then Wakasa is okay with it. Shinichiro is important to him, more than Mikey could ever be.
Wakasa, is the only person Shinichiro talked to about the original timeline. Out of the two people knowing about it, Wakasa is the one Shinichiro went to to tell him about it (Sanzu is the other and he came to Shinichiro asking about it). We don't know if Shinichiro planned to tell more people, and if yes, Wakasa was on the top of his list. Thus, this means Wakasa had heard Shinichiro telling him he killed a man and then himself. Because Mikey died. So that Mikey won't die. And he probably was murdered because of it later on too, because Shinichiro told him the homeless man's last words – because Shinichiro told him everything with every details.
So, when Wakasa finally sees Mikey again, sees the level of destruction he causes, sees that he kills like it's nothing, like he's enjoying it, this boy his friend killed for to keep alive... Well, Wakasa, dragging Benkei along, joined Kanto Manji to keep Mikey alive — because that's what Shinichiro sacrificed himself for, so, so many times. He can only stay near Mikey and try to not have him killed when they're in a world where being murdered is common. Mikey is strong, but he won't ever survive a bullet shot in the wrong place.
For Takeomi though, when he joins Bonten, his sister is dead. After his best friend. He failed the two people who meant the most to him and who appointed him as their second in command because they trusted him. He let them die. It’s not a child game anymore. South signed his death warrant.
And Takeomi hasn’t seen Mikey or Sanzu in years. (They’re the only ones left, he can’t leave them alone. He can’t stay alone.)
That’s the first theory. Second is, he crashes, he and Mikey end up meeting again, he gives him the role as his advisor. Rinse, repeat. The circle continues ; Bonten is at the top of Japan. Mikey is at the top of Japan – and that, even without Kisaki. 
Even without Kisaki.
Is Takeomi on the same level as Kisaki ? I don’t know. Kisaki is the moon to Mikey’s sun. But what was Takeomi to Shinichiro ? Perhaps his rain. And I'll keep going with the ‘perhaps’, because we’re never shown what Takeomi is to Shinichiro, beside a friend. Every meaningful interaction they have is from Takeomi’s POV. In Shinichiro’s chapters, Takeomi is briefly mentioned once when Sanzu gets out of the juvenile center, then when Shinichiro time leaps, he is too focused on Mikey to give (me) us any useful interaction/thought about Takeomi. There’s only one case, “Takeomi…” in chapter 273 but without that ? The start of chapter 269 is shallow. It gives us information on Shinichiro’s relationship with Mikey and Takeomi’s own relationship with his siblings (“I'm like his father figure at this point. Its best from him to learn from his peers” /"What kind of parent would let their kids learn from gang rides ?”) and also a quick information on Black Dragon founding members but that information is basically ‘they’re good friends :)’.
Anyway, Shinichiro nicknamed Takeomi ‘Rain Bringer’. So what does rain symbolize in Japan and does it somewhat fit Takeomi ? Rain is strongly linked to death and rebirth (as water usually is in Japan), to becoming something, someone else. This makes a nice little link with his siblings as Senju’s flowers are sakura (and so is her image color, pink sakura) which also symbolize the cycle of death and rebirth, the fleeting nature of life, how short if is, but also renewal and optimism, and Sanzu got his name from Sanzu no kawa, the three-crossing river, who is a river souls have to cross to get to the afterlife and/or to resurrect.
Takeomi’s other nickname, which wasn’t given by Shinichiro, is God of war. Japan has two gods of war, either Hachiman from shintoism, or Bishamonten from buddhism (since it’s Japan we’re talking about, those two got mixed up a bit but). Hachiman is a god of war and agriculture and was said to determine a samurai’s fate in battle (chapter 230 : “[...] my decisions determined how any conflict would end”). Bishamonten is a god of war and warriors, a punisher of evildoers and the ruler of rain. Bishamonten also carries a chatra (a kind of umbrella that symbolizes kingship, sovereignty).
This, while it gives more tracks to analyze Takeomi, doesn’t answer the question ‘What was Takeomi to Shinichiro’. So, if the story refuses to give us the answer, we have to find some parallels with other characters and see if they fit.
Shinichiro’s...
...Baji
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That’s right ! Baji and Takeomi share the same role. For this topic, Sanzu (and Senju) is the anomaly between him, Baji and Mikey.(and although we could say Sanzu is Baji’s parallel, he’s mostly Kakucho’s.)
Let’s start with why Wakui decided to depict them that way.
For Mikey and Baji, it was mostly there to show how long they’ve known each other. Mikey had said they were childhood friends but that doesn’t give us a time indication as to when they met. Then, there is the ‘Baji is behind’ aspect. It isn’t a problem between them, that Baji never wins against Mikey, no matter the years. Baji is just after Mikey and can’t reach the top yet.
For Shinichiro and Takeomi, it’s the same. ‘They’ve known each other for how long?’ ‘Probably since then’. Takeomi is behind Shinichiro who is standing at the top. Takeomi wants to do so too, and Shinichiro helps him to. Takeomi can’t stand here unless Shinichiro holds him still.
Shinichiro doesn’t enjoy being Japan’s number 1 - standing at the top. He became a delinquent to form relationships, to have fun, to deal with his father’s death and his mother’s stay in the hospital. He wasn’t against becoming the strongest but it wasn’t his goal (chapter 142, Shinichiro, in a quick Inui’s flashback: “Is winning really that important ?”). After all, if there’s nobody above you, the only people left are below, and Shinichiro says it, it’s only bullying and that’s meaningless (chapter 230, “Now that there's no one better than us, at this point it's just gonna be bullying the people weaker than us, wouldn't it ?”)
However, the childhood friend dying changes. For Mikey and Baji, the one climbing dies ; for Shinichiro and Takeomi, the one at the top does. How can we interpret this ? We already did for Takeomi – that means the one climbing falls. But for the one already on top ? The person who (tried to) followed him there died on the way. He’s still on top, but now he’s alone. Mikey is never alone, but after Shinichiro, Baji’s death is one of the last indispensable nail on his coffin. A nail aggravating his isolation and loneliness.
Personality wise, Baji and Takeomi are awfully different. Takeomi is awfully different to all characters – he is one of the most flawed and most fans don’t find him any redeeming quality.
Baji does share one of Takeomi’s characteristics, and that’s what (ironically) led to Shinichiro’s death. As Kazutora says in chapter 44 while stealing the bike: “You might complain but you always go along with whatever I'm doing”, Baji follows people. He can do well on his own (Valhalla), but if it wasn’t for his stubbornness in pursuing Mikey around (chapter 39, Mikey: “We lived in the same neighborhood. It’s not like we got along that well. He was always picking fights with me”), they wouldn’t have become childhood friends. They are also younger than their childhood friends (Sanzu and Shinichiro are the oldest).
Baji is Shinichiro in one aspect though: he is the one to have created Toman and to have assigned every founding member their role in the gang. (Baji does it in a flashback of chapter 63, Shinichiro gave Takeomi his position as vice-captain so it won’t surprise me if he gave Wakasa and Benkei their). They both also challenge people stronger than them. (Shinichiro on a daily basis “He'd challenge guys way stronger than him to fights”, Baji with Mikey “He was always picking fights with me. And I handed him his ass every time.”).
If there are parallels between Shinichiro and Baji – are there parallels between Takeomi and Mikey ? The answer is yes. They both don’t know what to do after Shinichiro’s death (and Mikey is even more lost after Baji’s), so much that if you push them in the wrong path, they end up as the number 1 criminal organization of their country (Kisaki for Mikey (Bad toman, Manila) helped to speedrun the process — as we see with Bonten, Mikey’s circle in Bonten (Sanzu “There they are ! The dark impulses ! I've been waiting for this” Haruchiyo) helped too. And the one thing to do to get Takeomi back in his prime is to restore his self-confidence (Bonten, and what he was close to do with Brahman)), they both cope with their emotions the same way as well, ‘I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day, I’ll die’ as one may say. They hide between smiles or blank faces. Little things matter as well, so.. chapter 123, Mikey “I wanna stand out” - they both do (even if Mikey is about 4 in this chapter).
...Kisaki
the fact takeomi is both baji and kisaki is hilarious pls. Those two hated each other so much. Well i wont be surprised if Wakui made it official that Takeomi hates himself
Yeah you read that right. Takeomi is Shinichiro’s Kisaki to the same extent he is Shinichiro’s Baji. Like with Baji, he fills Kisaki’s role while dealing with it differently – they don’t have the same personality so it’s not that surprising.
They’re both the gang’s ‘brain’. Whereas Takeomi was given the position, Kisaki approached Mikey with this exact idea in mind. Kisaki wanted to make Tenjiku Toman (chapter 126, “I'm going to make my own Toman”), and Takeomi was about to transform Brahman into (a much darker) Black Dragon (Chapter 219, Senju: “Brahman’s gotten bigger.. and Takeomi has changed. Now, instead of making brahman ‘stronger’ he thinks that making it ‘bigger’ is more important”  → all the more people to praise him). Both had the same goal too (to become number 1), and end up being criticized for it because of their way to attain it by Mikey (“in order to make Toman bigger I've ignored your underhanded methods until now. But that ends here [...] Your arbitrary decisions will screw up my dream”) and Senju ("I get that not all the jobs we take will be clean. However, thinking about dirtying Brahman for trash like that pisses me off”) when those two asked them are the one who asked them to guide them (chapter 265, Mikey: “there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart. Sometimes that ‘something’ expands and drives me to destroy absolutely everything. Kisaki… I want you to stay by my side with that part of me. I want you to guide me, Kisaki” (and worse, when Kisaki asked him if he’s sure, even if Kisaki doesn’t guide him the way he wants, Mikey answered “yeah, I don’t care.” But then, it was before Takemichi waltzed in his life); chapter 230, Senju: “I want someone who I can trust ! Someone who can give some guidance to the team ! Will you fill that role, big bro ?”). They had different reasons, for sure, Kisaki wanted Hinata’s love, Takeomi wanted (to keep) that idolizing love other people had for him, but those different reasons have the same roots.
They never grew up from their child-mindset.
Kisaki kept that childish logic of ‘Hinata loves Takemichi. Takemichi wants to be Japan's number 1 delinquent. Hinata loves Japan's number 1 delinquent. If I’m Japan's number 1 delinquent, Hinata will love me.’ (and he wanted Hinata’s love because she was the only one interacting with him and being nice to him, she said “He’s a good kid” when everyone else doesn’t, even back in elementary school where he is described as “creepy”) and Takeomi kept that childhood wish of being important, needed, validated.
Now, they turned out differently because of a very essential point :
Chapter 182, first chapter of Kisaki’s flashback : “When I was in elementary school, they called me a child prodigy.”
Chapter 230, Takeomi’s chapter : “Whether it be in sports, or studies, I was just average. I was but a normal child, not special at all.”
Kisaki was made aware from an early age that he was smart. He is as arrogant as much his intelligence allows him to be (sure, it’s insufferable, but he is as smart as he says). He is well-assured of his capacities and is the one to make his life decisions, he is very independent from Mikey or anyone else. Kisaki has an actual self-esteem. He doesn’t under or overestimate himself. He knows what he does, he knows he is the one doing so. Takeomi is the opposite. He’s too arrogant, doesn’t know in what he is smart, but the others say so, so he must be, he makes his decisions while looking at Shinichiro – he got there thanks to Shinichiro. And Kisaki got there thanks to Takemichi, although in another way. Kisaki also followed Takemichi around. By stalking him, but still. And unlike Takeomi, Kisaki is very conscious of it when he lies, it is but another strategy to manipulate people.
Kisaki is Takeomi if people had noticed and talked about his capacities in his childhood. Takeomi is what Kisaki could’ve been if people never praised him, if he never finished number one at any national mock exam and if he became childhood friends with Takemichi (instead of stalking him).
Both of them corrupted Toman and Brahman (and Black Dragon if Shinichiro hadn’t been Shinichiro). “Brahman is closer to a group of adult gangsters than they are a motorcycle gang. Some nasty rumors follow them, too.” (chapter 215, Inui); “Money is power. How valuable do you think your ‘strength’ is !?” (chapter 229, Takeomi); but are also the reason why they became huge organizations. They are the reasons why Brahman (almost) and Toman fell into criminal organizations (although Toman would’ve anyway).
They also both first got into a gang when they were 13. (Black Dragon was created the 22nd February 1995 – Takeomi was born the 10th march 1981 (the year after Shinichiro’s own birth btw, Shinichiro who is the oldest Black Dragon founding member), so he was about to turn 14 BUT HE WASN'T, and in 2005 Kisaki is 13 since he was born the 20th january 1992 (two years younger than Mikey, one year younger than Takemichi))
...Draken.
Shinichiro and Mikey both have their “This is the breeze of a new era !”(chapter 230)/”I’m gonna seize this world” (chapter 223) speech that only Takeomi/Draken could hear ; and they’re both vice-captain/second in command.
When Black Dragon gets officially disbanded (their final garthering), Wakasa and Benkei shed a tear or two, Shinichiro being the crybaby he is, has a lot of tears running down his face, and Takeomi… too. Takeomi is the only one with his eyes close. He grins his teeth. He can’t accept this reality, can’t look at it. Even if Shinichiro talked about it with him beforehand. And… it’s the same with Draken. Not that Mikey informed him before saying Toman was over (and they didn’t have a second generation to lend the name too, as opposed to Black Dragon), but with how he reacted. On paper, he said he agreed with it (even after his “What ? What’re you goin’ on all of a sudden ?” in chapter 189 which is the same as Takeomi’s “Disband !? But why !? I mean, we just became Japan's number one !” in chapter 230, and Mikey also disbanded Toman after becoming Japan’s number 1), that since it was Mikey’s choice, he had “no objection to the leader's decision” (chapter 189), but in reality, not only do we learn it’s not true when they dug up the time capsule (chapter 198, Draken reading his letter : “I’m at a crossroads in my life right now. Toman disbanded. […] I actually regret it. Toman is everything to me. Im sure everyone in toman felt that way ? I’m worried… I cried”), but he also joins Brahman. There was nothing prior to that revelation pointing at it. In Bonten he has his shop, he says “I’m retired” and “I left everything i had back in Tokyo Manji” to South (chapter 211) in his letter he wrote “So, I'm leaving all of my regrets in here” and that’s what teenager Draken tried to do. But he joined Brahman instead. And we learn why after, when he says in a flashback to Mitsuya (chapter 238) : “Have you grown accustomed to living life without Toman ? Because I can't seem to move on from it. That’s why I think i’m gonna go back to the life of deliquent. I’ll continue following Mikey [...]”. Draken couldn’t leave Toman, his whole life behind. Then why did he in Bonten ? Because Senju died. Not only must it have affected him, but it affected Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei. And, yes, we can say Senju died in Bonten regardless of the fact it’s never said. Why ? Bonten is a memorial for Izana, its symbol, its members’ tattoo come from Izana’s earrings and the (天) ten of Bonten 梵天 from Tenjiku 天竺, the (梵) bon of Bonten 梵天 comes from Brahman 梵. The executives, advisor, second and third in command, are either former Tenjiku member or Senju’s brother (or both for Sanzu but again, can we really say he was a Tenjiku member when it’s clear he was acting as a spy on Mikey’s unaware behalf..) - and its leader had a deep relationship with those two as well. There’s no need for Senju to have the same role as Izana in Bonten if she’s not dead. So, Senju’s death is the answer as to why Draken utterly left Toman (and Mikey) behind in Bonten timeline (he loves Mikey very much but he can't lose any more loved ones). But Draken’s wish to get back to Mikey until then, his refusal to abandon Toman, was what led him and Takeomi to understand each other. That’s what led to Takeomi recruiting Draken (because he must have been the one to come up with the idea, like he is the one to have thought about recruiting Takemichi). That’s what leads Takeomi to get this angry at his death. Not only is Takeomi is partially responsible for it, Draken is essential to bring back Mikey, and Takeomi is not. And so, “If you wanted to kill someone it should've been me !” (chapter 225). And also why he becomes even more angry when Mikey arrives (“Fuck off, Kanto gang ! You guys abandoned Draken !”). Takeomi takes his role as Senju’s second in command very seriously, she asked him to guide the team and he accepted, he swore to give his all for them (chapter 230). He is the one telling her to keep cool and not being driven by her emotions (chapter 218), which is ironic because he’s the one to act before thinking after Draken’s death whereas Senju tries to calm him down (and fails).
Kanto being “a three-way state of equilibrium between these three teams and has entered the three deities era” (Yamagishi, chapter 208) was not an innocent choice when it is also revealed in chapter 226 by Senju that “Benkei and Waka. Before the first generation of Black Dragon happened, these two divided the Kanto region. Kanto used to be divided into two parts”. South takes the role of Benkei, and Senju, who created Brahman for the only purpose of stopping Mikey the same way Kodo Rengo was formed to stop Ragnarok’s expansion, takes the role of Wakasa. This is also backed up by their fighting style and body type. Mikey takes Shinichiro’s role, but whereas Shinichiro ‘defeated’ Wakasa and Benkei and became their friends and leader which lead to them ruling over the region, Mikey crushed South/Rokuhara Tandai and made Senju disband Brahman, for the same result (Takemichi could’ve taken on Shinichiro’s role but the power of friendship can’t do everything). And Draken is in Takeomi’s role. Not Sanzu. (because Sanzu doesn’t care about Toman while Draken just wants it back.). Furthermore, I like the fact South, in the final timeline, “is a heavyweight champion of foreign martial arts. When he visits Japan, he hangs out at the Gojo gym” because not only does South finally have friends (like Senju, he is friendless in canon-timeline) but because Benkei’s dream is “to produce a MMA champion from Gojo gym”, which while not being exactly the same thing is still close enough for me.
A difference between them worth mentioning is that while Draken is the oldest of Toman founding members, Takeomi is the youngest of Black Dragon founding members.
(+ Inui, Kokonoi:
The other character introduced as refusing the end of Black Dragon is Inui. He's a character who is developed alongside Kokonoi who can't accept Akane's death.
But whereas Takeomi seemingly doesn't do anything by himself to get out of his vicious circle and debts, Inui actively tries to keep Black Dragon alive. He even takes Shinichiro’s shop as his hideout (with Kokonoi), although it has been abandoned. Nobody else came to keep that place alive – it reminds them of a too painful reality. And it could've with Inui too, but Inui has only good memories of this place (chapter 143, Inui: “All those senpai who’d stop by were so dazzling and awesome. [...] I heard so many stories in this bike shop from our senpai. They all had so much fun talking about their old leader [...] Even as an adult, he could still laugh about the dumb stuff he did years ago together with his friends.”). Not to say the others don’t; but Inui is able to see pass the pain of this happiness unable to come back.
Inui is the first out of the three to let it go. He finds Takemichi and realizes that.. maybe he could live without Black Dragon. It takes a bit but Bonten Inui has let it go completely, unlike Kokonoi and Takeomi, both going deeper and deeper into criminality ; both still running away from reality, refusing to look back and see what they loved isn't there anymore.
Inui heals in Bonten. He doesn't in Bad Toman, where he's with Hakkai who became BD 11th leader. He doesn't in Manila, where Izana who was the 8th BD leader and the first leader Inui worked under comes back. Always running after BD shadow. Manila Inui met Takemichi, but Manila Inui wasn't separated from Kokonoi, not for years, not for more than a decade, since Tenjiku merged with Toman. They probably didn't have their 'Akane is dead, I'm Seishu!' talk, and if they did, it clearly didn't change anything.
We don't know how Inuis family life is. We know his parents couldn't pay for his sister's surgery and she ended up dying. We know he had had to witness his best friend lose himself in the prospect to make money. We know somewhen, he met Shinichiro. Spent time with him at his shop. Perhaps to stay away from home ? Home who burnt him? Home who took away his sister ? Meeting Shinichiro did a lot to him accepting his sister's death, surely. A bit of positivity in his life. But nobody was there for him when Shinichiro himself died. When Izana disappeared nobody knew where and the Haitani Brothers left Black Dragon when it became to hard to deal with, leading it to fade away (chapter 105, Kokonoi: “They ended up in a tough spot when the Haitani brothers of Roppongi came to power… So they ditched the gang, and disappeared.”).
Inui learnt about it after getting out of juvie. He went to juvie for Black Dragon. For Izana. This can't be the end of it. So he makes Taiju the 10th leader. He's not loyal to him because he's Taiju, he's loyal to him because it's the Black Dragon leader (chapter 143, Inui: “That good old Black Dragon I used to know was no more. I panicked when Black Dragon died for a while. That’s when I sought help from Shiba Taiju.”). But the Christmas Showdown happens, and Inui witnesses the force of nature that is Takemichi Hanagaki. And he's like Shinichiro was.
He leaves Black Dragon behind when he puts on Toman uniform for the first time. Black Dragon won't ever leave him, but he can let it go and cherish the memories he has. He didn't get to be in Black Dragon when he wanted to (chapter 143, Inui: “I’ve always admired such a team. That’s why I joined Blakc Dragon. But by the time I joined Black Dragon it was the eightth generation. It was shit.”) and that changed him (as being in a gang changed Takeomi) (chapter 143: ”During the eighth and ninth generations.. our gang did extortion, robbed people, sold drugs, all sorts of heinoius stuff. There was no trace left of the gang’s original intentions. And before i knew it, the gang’s evil had an influence on me. I landed myself in juvie.”), but he can maybe experience a similar thing with Takemichi, or maybe it'll be completely different. It's okay, he has turned the page. Now, he has to bring back Kokonoi and make him turn the page as well. Except Inui had a slow and nice 'turn the page', while Kokonoi won't.
Kokonoi needs more time, Kokonoi can't let Akane go just yet, even if Inui yells at him to stop acting as if he was seeing his sister instead of himself. Inui practically slaps him up. He has failed during Tenjiku, but this failure planted a seed in Kokonoi's mind which finally bloomed during the battle with Kanto Manji. It's a more abrupt realization than Inui got, but it doesn't hurt him. Akane tells him to let go, that she's glad he did all of that for her but that he doesn't need to continue – she's dead. Seishu is not. And even if that's meaningless, even if he knows he's, they're, going to lose, he goes help Inui against Wakasa and Benkei.
Takeomi's realization of having done something wrong falls upon him all at once. A part of it. His realization concerning Brahman, about Senju and Sanzu is there ("I've failed Brahman principles"(chapter 230)/"But me going crazy and Haruchiyo going astray[...]"(chapter 241) and it hurt him. Acknowledging his mistakes to himself and to others, to Senju, made him cry.)
But where is his realization about Black Dragon and Shinichiro ?)
But not Shinichiro’s Takemichi.
Takeomi isn’t Shinichiro’s Takemichi because for starters, Takemichi is Shinichiro as it is constantly repeated throughout the story.
Takemichi changed Mikey’s life (if it wasn’t for him, he would’ve kept listening to Kisaki, kept thinking he only needed darkness, he would’ve killed Kazutora (chapter 265)). Takeomi didn’t change much Shinichiro’s. Not the same way Takemichi did at least. Mikey, like Takeomi, needed someone to guide him, to follow around, whether this person was Takemichi or Kisaki depends entirely on the timeline’s events. Shinichiro could guide himself, he didn’t need somebody to show him the way. So what ? Why does it matter? It matters because all the friendships in this story have an impact on the characters it concerns. Whether it be the Twin Dragons, Izana and Kakucho, Inui and Kokonoi, Mikey is changed by Pah (going to jail), Kazutora (Shinichiro’s death), Baji (him siding with Kazutora and his own death), Draken (“Draken is Mikey’s heart. He compensates for what he’s lacking”) (not Mitsuya though. Which is very sad. I want a concrete example of how Mìtsuya impacted Mikey's life!!)… And the Black Dragon are out of this rule. Especially Shinichiro. Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei all changed because of him (in good for Wakasa & Benkei, in what could’ve been good but ended up bad for Takeomi) but the other way around isn’t shown to be true. Wakasa & Benkei became friends, really good friends since they own a gym together in several timelines, and Takeomi got something to fill his lack of self-esteem which then got taken away from him without him having learnt how to cope with it in the meantime.
And Wakasa & Benkei aren’t supposed to have a gym in canon-timeline. Wakasa is a gang leader in the original timeline – supposedly he only changed vocation because Shinichiro told him about the original timeline and he decided not to go down that path. But then, when did Shinichiro had the time, during his time in the past, to tell Wakasa about his time leap ? He barely stayed one day. So did Wakasa, in the original timeline, came back to the illegal world so he can produce/obtain money and help Shinichiro out ? We don’t know what Benkei does in the original timeline, but I’d find it hard to believe he’s not with Wakasa. As for Takeomi, his situation is most likely the same, he’s in debt (which would explain that brief “Takeomi…” from chapter 272 from Shinichiro before he has to focus on the date, and very much alive Mikey). Or, if we want to look at another option, since Shinichiro got into “shaddy stuffs” (as he says in chapter 270), they could’ve followed and got back into delinquency. If they did it fast enough, Takeomi probably didn't get to the point of having debts. If you add the “Join my gang, Shin. With you we'd be the top gang in the world” of Wakasa (same chapter)  to any of this option, and the lack of negative response from Shinichiro you end up with one terrifying timeline where Shinichiro could have become, actually, a bad guy (or kill himself anyway).
What did all three of them do to make Shinichiro grow, positively or not ? Nothing (concrete that is, his admired/respected people are ‘’the Black Dragon First Generation Members‘’). Shinichiro’s entire personality, and that’s one of the only if not the only character, is centered exclusively around his family, mostly but not only, Mikey. He is changed by his father’s death and his mother’s hospitalization and starts to be a delinquent, he is changed by Mikey’s accident, by Emma running away, by his grandfather dying, by Mikey’s death and is so broken he is ready to believe in time travel, maybe was he also changed by Izana’s reaction when he discovered they weren’t blood-related. Only Wakasa is here in his flashback. No Benkei, only a mention of Takeomi. That’s not right. They’re his friends, why aren’t they here ? Why do we have so little information ?
Shinichiro stays the same until Mikey has his accident. He isn’t shaped by anybody else, not even his childhood friend whom he has known for more than a decade.
Shinichiro didn’t need guidance like Mikey did, but he didn’t need to stagnate either.
– which beg the question : Why did Wakui decide to put the exact same kanji, pronounced the exact same way in both Takeomi (武臣) and Takemichi (武道)’s name ? As a writer, making this decision means something (most of the time), alas, i didn’t find what. (Takemichi like Takeomi has self-esteem problems at the beginning of the story because he got beaten up as an middle school student by Kiyomasa but other than that..)
What I did find was Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi pages in the third guide book. There’s still not much about Shinichiro (he is listed as all three’s admired/respected person), but there’s a bit more about their relationship with Takeomi. First, the one thing that actually surprised me : Wakasa and Benkei are listed as Takeomi’s disliked/feared people. Then, Wakui was kind to explain since it’s followed by “(They look down on me )”. Now, to see if it’s true or not (if they do think that, or if it’s just Takeomi (who must be such an unreliable narrator)) we have to take a look at Wakasa and Benkei’s own page.
Takeomi is only mentioned once for Wakasa, in his ‘a day in his life’ :
“I had a one-week holiday, so I went on a quick trolling trip to Okinawa. I wanted to enjoy fishing alone, but Takeomi and Benkei came along. The aim was yellowfin tuna. Takeomi got tired of not being able to catch anything after 3 hours on the boat and said he wanted to go home, while Benkei was seasick and exhausted. I knew I shouldn't have brought them along.”
We learnt that Takeomi isn’t that patient (to be fair, fishing isn’t something he likes to do, unlike Wakasa) but not that much is said about how Wakasa really thinks about him and him alone. He is irritated by both of his friends, who ruined his holiday, equally. You can’t say if he looks down on Takeomi or not.
For Benkei, Takeomi is also mentioned once and it’s in his ‘a day in his life’ as well :
“The gym is closed today. Takeomi persistently invited me out for a drink. I usually don't go, but we went to an izakaya together. His drinking is long. At first its fun, but as we get deeper into it, he starts to brag. He talks about the Brahman Senju created as if he created it. He has always been like that. I remember he used to brag about Shinichiro's achievements as if he himself had done them. Shinichiro liked him, including such a bad part of him.”
It gives more than Wakasa’s did. First, Takeomi, although he dislikes/fears them, still tags along with both of them when he can. Second, not that much of a news, Takeomi brags and takes on Senju’s achievements, the same way he took on Shinichiro’s. Third, Shinichiro was aware of it and didn’t stop him ?
While we can say Benkei is probably irritated by it, like for Wakasa we can’t say he looks down on Takeomi.
It pains me that there’s not much interaction between them. You can say Wakasa and Benkei are friends – but do they consider Takeomi a friend ? I don’t think he’s still labeled ‘Shinichiro’s friend’ in their mind, but – especially with Takeomi’s fall – they aren’t close, have they ever been. They don’t have that kind of relationship like Toman’s founding members have for example. Perhaps they did once.
Takeomi’s page, in my opinion at least, is the one that gives the more information on the character it‘s about. He likes Akechi Mitsuhide because he has the same birthday as him (sure why not – Akechi Mitsuhide, to make it very short, a general in the Heian period who attempted to become Shogun, and whose reign as Shogun lasted thirteen days), he dislikes making efforts (makes sense, he makes others’ achievements his own, which also leads to:), his special talent is taking advantages of people, and his dream is to be a multimillionaire (he is also ranked number 1 best to ‘Who has a way with words ?’).
Except confirming what I was already thinking, it still doesn’t offer much (but i’m so glad it has been explecitely written). But his failure story, that’s, well, another story.
And all of that offers a great transition, but let me change the topic first –
Family - the first thing you learn to run away from
(You were probably waiting for it from the start, sorry it took so long for me to talk about it !)
Takeomi’s failure story goes like this :
“I was their father figure. My father was busy because we are a motherless family. I was strict with Haruchiyo because he’s a man. He cut my face with a knife one day and left the house. He’s a hell of a fucking brother. I vowed that one day I would let Senju punish him.”
Sanzu gave him the scar.
Worse, looking at the timeline, Takeomi doesn’t have the scar when Black Dragon is founded (in February 1995 Sanzu would have been 4 so, not that surprising) but he gained it along the way, before Black Dragon disbandment (in late spring, early summer 1999, so Sanzu was either 8 or 9 (Takeomi was 18 – they have a 9 years gap)). That’s… young. What could have pushed Sanzu to do this ? Did Takeomi really do such a poor job raising him, Sanzu decided that attacking him was the only way out or something like that ? Sanzu, who says to Senju, “I wish I knew how to talk back to big bro like how Mikey and Baji do…” (chapter 241), cut his brother’s face with a knife before the age of nine? (he was nine when he said that, so perhaps he did stand up for himself before but then he gradually stopped (or all at once, it depends on how Takeomi reacted to being cut i suppose.)).
This leads to a question : did any outsider of their family know about it ? Sanzu probably wasn’t running around yelling about what he did, but did Takeomi complain (to Shinichiro) or did he keep his mouth shut about how his scar came to be. Both ? Complained about how hard it is to raise Sanzu (who ran away after what he did) while saying his new scar is from a fight he has gotten into ?(of course he didn’t get his scar from a 4-9 years old. Who do you take him for, he wouldn't let anyone, let alone a child, scar him like that.) Since we know Sanzu doesn’t go home when he’s in Toman (chapter 206, Muto : “What's with that look in your eye ? You don't have anywhere you belong ?”), it may not be an unusual thing for him to run away. (Which begs the question: what does his grandmother and father think about it ? Are they even aware of it ?)
Looking again at the timeline, what did Mikey and Takemichi do during the final reset ? They came back in October 1998 (Sanzu 8, Takeomi 17), yet Takeomi has his scar during the wedding. So either Sanzu cut his face before (and be 8 years old at most), or Mikey and Takemichi failed to prevent it.
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this baby cut his brother’s face.
Talking about scars… We never got to see how Takeomi reacted when Sanzu got his. Did he blame him (he thought Sanzu was the one who broke the toy plane before Senju confesses she is in chapter 241) ? Did he just not do anything and left (oh sweet guilt) ? Did he decide to stay away from Mikey a bit ? Did he go to the hospital ?
For both Sanzu cutting Takeomi’s face and the toy plane incident, I pity Senju for having to witness it and feel guilty for not doing anything, but also because she knows sometimes she should be punished and not Sanzu. Her and Hakkai should get along well (once he stops freezing everytime girls talk to him).
But above all, I pity all of them for witnessing how the Sano family works. How, even though they also have absent parents, they’re healthy. How Mikey talks back to Shinichiro, how Emma loves her brother without feeling unwanted or lonely, how Shinichiro knows how to raise his siblings even with his family life, his parents' condition. And my heart ached the first time I read chapter 273 and Sanzu called Shinichiro ‘Shin-nii’ – thing Mikey never did. They addressed Takeomi as ‘Take-nii’ in their childhood, but they stopped. (Sanzu calls Shinichiro ‘Shinichiro-kun’ in the original timeline, which makes you wonder why, but I think he did since he was young and stopped because, for one, Shinichiro is too busy with his study and taking care of Mikey, and two, Sanzu went to juvie.) And Sanzu goes directly to Shinichiro after getting his memories back. He shares his confusion with Shinichiro, even if what he says seems unbelievable (even for himself) because he trusts him and knows he can share his worries with him. And Shinichiro answered to this 13 years old needing reassurance by telling him he killed a man.
I’d give a lot to see how the Akashi father is. I’d give a lot to see how Takeomi was raised. Because with Shinichiro it’s easy. Mama Sano and Papa Sano, for the little we’ve seen of them, seemed like good, stable people. They must have raised Shinichiro great until they couldn’t anymore. We don’t know when Mikey’s mother got to the hospital, but his father died when he was 3, so Shinichiro at least spent 13 years of his life with (guidance from) his father. Sure, it would’ve been better if it be longer, but it’s already more than.. Taiju (which, with some calculation, was 8 when his mother died). But we don’t know for the Akashi. We only know that Sanzu and Senju don’t call themselves Akashi. That Senju says “ We’re the mysterious siblings !” which is funny but makes me think about ‘let’s not talk about whatever’s going on in our family/at home’ which is not funny. Think of it, if the Akashi parents were the same as the Sano, they wouldn’t have turned out that way. It’s not fair to compare families or even people but to be fair they’re characters so they’re meant to be compared. And maybe the Sano siblings would have turned out like the Akashi siblings if their dad survived and their mom still died, who knows.
Takeomi didn’t take Senju and Sanzu to gang meetings, or anything gang-related whereas Shinichiro did. There could be two reasons (which can both be true at the same time) : 1, gang stuffs are dangerous, who would bring kids along, seriously, Shinichiro ? (chapter 269, Takeomi “are you stupid ? what kind of parents would let their kids learn from gang rides ?” after Shinichiro said “I'm like his father figure at this point. It's best from him to learn from his peers”) 2, it was the only thing he had that wasn’t family/home, where he could be himself and not have to care about his siblings (and be completely crushed under his responsibilities and doing a poor job because of it--). The fact he didn’t isn’t that important, Sanzu didn’t want to be part of a gang to start with (chapter 277 : “Nah! I don’t wanna be a delinquent!”), he only joined Toman after having his memories from the original timeline back and talking with Shinichiro about it (and Shinichiro dying). But Black Dragon, like for Shinichiro, was Takeomi’s life and by not bringing Sanzu and Senju in it, he didn’t interact with them much, he let them out of his life. Mikey and Emma “followed him [Shinichiro] everywhere” (chapter 109, Mikey), Takeomi needed his me-time, far away from his siblings. He couldn’t, unlike Shinichiro, put on the ‘perfect big brother’ role/façade.
Since he left his house often, Sanzu was left in charge (chapter 241, Takeomi “[...] you have to set a good example for her”; chapter 249, Sanzu (to Senju) “Did you forget who raised you [...]?”). If Takeomi had to take care on their father's role, it’s easy to understand that he delegated his big brother role to Sanzu. This was clearly not a good move, but Takeomi back then didn’t understand how strict he was with Sanzu, nor how unfair it was that he would blamed him for things Senju had done (following the rule of ‘you’re the older, you should have taught her better’) (perhaps Takeomi was so strict with Sanzu because he lashed out all of his self-anger/hatred on him; there's also the fact he may have recognized himself (his childhood self at least) in Sanzu – shitty move, but as a professional of denial, Takeomi might not have even been aware of it). But Takeomi wasn’t meant to be their father figure in the first place, and he could have failed his big brother role as well even if their life had been different, but he shouldn’t have had to endorse the responsibility of raising his siblings, had he been given the choice or not. It’s also somewhat ironic, that Takeomi did take on their father’s role the same way their father did – he left home for work and everything to the oldest child who stayed. Just like Shinichiro took on his father’s role. Not only because Shinichiro spent time with his siblings, which their father seems like he would have done, but also because, like his father, he gifts Mikey a toy, and tragedy soon follows (his father’s death in the car accident, Sanzu’s scars or Mikey’s accident). He was also a crybaby – although his father never cried in public (chapter 263, Mikey: “My father also cried easily ?”, his mom: “I wonder if he ever cried in public? That man was hopeless”). Mikey looked up to him, like he looks up to his father. I honestly think Mikey, who was also a crybaby as a child (chapter 263, Mikey’s mom: “[...] you too… used to be a crybaby when you were younger. All you did was cry and wail.”), started to stop crying (in public and in private alike) after his father’s death. Sure, he was very young when it happened, but children lack life experience not intelligence, sometimes they’re very capable of reading the room, and Mikey, who probably didn’t understand what was happening, knew that weeping wouldn’t help his already crying brother and mother. Mikey saw his father as this very strong, capable man who protected the family and decided to take on that role by being ‘strong’, by not crying and by beating people up (chapter 263, Mikey: “I am not going to cry. That's why, mom, I'm going to protect you, so come back home”; “I met that big guy from east elementary’s third grade. And I beat him up !”, his mom: “You're so strong, Manjiro. Just like your father.”). He has one memory of his father, where he hands him a superhero figurine – and what are fathers if not the superhero of their young children ? 
Sanzu was a better big brother than Takeomi was. Sanzu, like Takeomi in the past, doesn’t want Senju to be in a gang and much less a gang leader (chapter 216, Senju : “Haruchiyo doesn't like the fact I’m the head of Brahman. He doesn't like that I'm the strongest and that Takeomi endorses me.”). “Because of my mistakes, Takeomi got mad at Haruchiyo even so Haruchiyo was always nice to me” (Senju, chapter 241) ; he could have. He could have let out the anger he had on Senju since he couldn’t talk back to Takeomi. He didn’t, because Sanzu was a kind child, but also because seeing how Takeomi favored Senju (in his actions, this does not mean he loved her more) if he had learnt Sanzu got angry at her or even made her cry… Sanzu was already aware of how his brother acted when he got angry.
I refuse to believe “The curse Shinichiro created by killing the time leaper, that is what my ‘dark impulses’ are. It affected everyone around him” (chapter 274) as the reason behind Sanzu and Mikey’s behavior. Simply because, if it did, then why was Wakasa, Benkei, Emma, heck even Sano grandpa, not affected by it ? And why was Kazutora ? The only way I accept it is with ‘it affected Sanzu because he was Shinichiro’s trigger, so they shared the power and by such, Sanzu had to carry a bit of the curse’ (im not going to talk about mikey’s case here but i also came up with a more complex reason as to why he was affected, that is not just ‘he was close to him’). However, we don’t know what the curse does. The homeless man only said ‘’curse you’’ (chapter 271), any explanation from a character who isn’t the homeless man can’t be taken as the perfect truth. Anyway, all of that to say that behind Sanzu (and Mikey’s) actions, there was a bit of genuinity. The curse pushed them to act, but a part of them wanted to act, the curse made them unable to stop (and think of alternative solutions), worse, the curse made them like it. (okay, it’s theory time heck it. the curse feeds on tragedy, the more tragedy, the more it grows, the more it grows, the more hungry it gets, the more it wants tragedy, the more it triggers tragedy. And by feeding on tragedy i mean all the negative feelings that go hand-in-hand with. Sadness, despair, helplessness, rage, regrets, guilt… It clings to someone who already has a tragic life (Mikey, Sanzu, … Kazutora,…) and it worsens it. End of theory time.) ANYWAY. All of that to say that, this ?
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Was something Sanzu would (without the curse) regret, but did anyway because he couldn’t stop it (because of the curse) because a part of him wanted to (not necessarily, hit Senju with a pipe, but get a pay-back from what he had had to go through as a child. Who knows what he would have done to Takeomi if Wakui decided to not drop our ‘God of War’ by the road before the last fight of the story). And he says things her ‘always nice to her’ brother wouldn’t have said (especially) to her such as “fighting all flamboyantly like that.. you buzzing disgusts the hell out of me. You disgusting fly !” (chapter 248)
Sanzu knows Senju isn't responsible for Mikey's curse, but he learnt about it when he was 13; not before (i'm not saying that's why he hit her, that’s not my best transition). Who knows, maybe somewhere in his mind he did blame Senju before memories of the original timeline flew back to him and he realized whether the toy had broken or not, Mikey would've turned up like that either way. This also begs the question : what did Sanzu think about the accident, before Shinichiro admitted what really happened on that day, before he got his memories from the original timeline back ? What did he think about staying friends with the one who scarred him for life ? Did he really wholeheartedly agree to stay friends for life with Mikey to Shinichiro?
Speaking of the original timeline, Takeomi is said to be on “non-speaking terms” with Sanzu. But let’s put everything back into context : Sanzu “used a damn katana and slashed all of his friends” (Baji ; chapter 270) (which also doesn't support the 'it's because of the curse' explanation or the "You can't erase the curse! [...] I've been following Mikey as if I was in a trance [...]"(chapter 275) of Sanzu. Because there wasn't a curse in the original timeline to 'explain' Sanzu's behavior), and Baji himself says to Shinichiro “Why do you give a fuck about somebody like him ?”(same chapter). Whether Takeomi blames himself for how Sanzu turned out or not, Sanzu at best hurt his friends, at worst killed them. And in this timeline, Takeomi still has Senju to look after – hence, he can’t let Sanzu interact with her, and he refuses to talk with him after what he did (whereas in Bonten, Senju is dead and Takeomi came back in the game and ends up accepting murder as part of his, their, life) Takeomi is also against Mikey killing (South), as he says “Are you even human!? There’s no reason for you to go that far, y’know?!”(chapter 233) which Mikey kindly answers to by kicking Takeomi in the chin and saying “you're better off dead, too.”(same chapter). Shinichiro, like Sanzu, justifies it ; “He just attacked them because they were talking shit about Manjiro. Isn’t that how Haruchiyo is ?”. Would Shinichiro have justified it in another timeline, though ? If Mikey was okay, if Emma was there, if his grandfather didn’t die… Would he have accepted Sanzu’s actions ? Shinichiro in the original timeline, is in deep, deep denial about his entire life collapsing around him.
One second he’s working at a job he likes and wants to do, the other he is a university student, a nurse and his brother’s main and only caregiver. One second, he lives with what is left of his family, the other his brother is his only family left, and he can’t leave the hospital. Not only did his life go downhill after Mikey’s accident, he must blame himself for it too. Why did Mikey have his accident ? Because he didn’t want to lend the Concorde to Baji and the rest. Who bought the Concorde as a gift for him ? Shinichiro. He guided his brother, the boy he raised, to his death, and the girl he raised is nowhere to be seen (which might have been in part his fault since he was too busy studying for Mikey to pay attention to her), even though he had promised to his father to look after the both of them (chapter 269, “Father [...] I’ll take care of both Manjiro and Emma for you.”). His parents, his grandparents, he had nothing left. But Mikey is still alive. So he keeps on focusing on that, only that. Mikey can’t interact with people, nobody knows if he is aware of his surroundings, but he is alive and that fact alone is the only thing keeping Shinichiro from facing reality, from realizing that at this point, he is his family on his own, it’s the only thing keeping him going. He has to keep Mikey alive, to the price of his health (chapter 270, Baji: “In order to get the qualifications to be a caregiver he had to study while working in the hospital. I’m sure he doesn't even have time to sleep, his life is a total mess”; Wakasa: “I was worried that you'd be the first to die [...] Right now you're just rotting away”), his money, his morals (same chapter, Shinichiro: “I've gotten involved in many shady businesses. So I could help Manjiro in whatever he needed. I've done whatever therapies and even paid a lot for those suspicious religious groups”) anything, anything for Mikey. So of course, Haruchiyo was justified in his actions, no matter what Baji or Takeomi might say (plus, Baji says all kinds of things (“He isn't right in the head.”) but he still tags along and interact with Haruchiyo, he doesn’t fool many people. Then again, does Baji have any friends ? If “there’s nothing great about middle school”, he can’t meet Chifuyu, and who knows if he met any other founding members, if he met Kazutora at least.) because killing for Mikey is exactly what Shinichiro does.
The homeless man tells him to gain the power he killed his predecessor, and for a man who has lost everything, killing isn’t much. Except it doesn’t work. Shinichiro doesn’t go back to the past instantly after killing this man. His last hope is gone. And it wasn’t even one – he helplessly believed in the idea of time leaping because it was the only thing left he could believe in. So he kills himself. There’s nothing left anyway. Wakasa, Benkei, Takeomi, Haruchiyo, Baji ? Not enough. And then it works. He’s back. He saves Mikey. Then when he unexpectedly goes back to his present (2003) and goes look for the homeless man, he doesn’t find him. Probably to talk, to thank him. But the thing is, he killed this man. But not once is he seen feeling guilt about this. Denial ? Maybe. Or maybe it’s because he finds it justifiable. He killed for Mikey, for his baby brother, for his own sanity. One doesn’t mean the other isn’t true – he could justify it to stay in denial. He dies too soon after for him to learn to cope with what he did anyway.
There’s also the fact that out of everyone, he goes to Wakasa to tell him about the original timeline. Not Takeomi (who isn’t doing well in any point anyway), and not Benkei (who… we don’t know), but Wakasa. And he confesses his murder to him (as we’re told by Mikey, chapter 268 : “I was informed by Wakasa” ; chapter 274 : “the curse Shinichiro created by killing the time leaper… that is what my dark impulses are.”), the same way he confessed what he did in his previous timeline and what he thought of doing (“In these four years, I've gotten involved in many shady businesses [...] Maybe I should kill them all for deceiving me.” (chapter 270)).
So, while in the original timeline, Takeomi focuses on Senju even if that means neglecting Sanzu, Shinichiro focuses on Mikey which leads to Emma running away (to where, we don’t know). And those two little sisters fit their role differently. While Emma cooks (she is seen several time cooking; and to Draken after he asked her if she was housekeeping “well, gramps is old and…” (chapter 263)), likes cute things (the teddy bear she wanted and Draken got for her birthday), isn’t a fighter and in the final timeline becomes a housewife, Senju chases Mikey, Baji, and Sanzu around, wants to play with their toys (Mikey’s concorde), trains at Wakasa and Benkei’s gym and is a gang member. Takemichi refrains her to buy punk clothes and even though she still buys a lot of items, she prefers Brahman’s uniform and she goes shopping because Takeomi tells her to (“We’re shopping in Harajuku because Takeomi told me to ‘do some girly stuff sometimes.’ This is his card.”) and gives her his credit card (whose money comes from Brahman’s activities, so as to whether it’s his or Senju’s decisions leading to him being rich..). They’re both feminine, but Senju is a bit more of a tomboy in what she likes. Emma doesn’t feel lonely (“Since then, I've never felt lonely. Not even once”)(she has friends her age, such as Hinata), Senju clings to Takemichi the moment he joins Brahman (“Brahman’s full of old guys, so I’m glad people my age are joining”(chapter 216);”So can i think of us as friends now ?”(chapter 219))(seemingly, her only friends remain Mikey and Baji, whom she likely hasn't seen in years, even before Valhalla arc). They are also the only girls Takemichi saw in bra (chapter 9/chapter 216) but uh.. I don't want to know if that was made on purpose or not. But it joins the feminine/tomboy dichotomy – when Emma undressed, she had something else in mind (which, fortunately, didn't happen) and she has lace underwear, whereas Senju is very uninhibited (“Oh, it's fine. It's just sports bra”, chapter 216) and is wearing a sports bra like she says. They were raised the same way (Emma taking care of/helping her grandfather with chores ; Senju being forbidden to use ‘ore’ by Takeomi because it’s not ‘girlish’, making her go shopping for her to ‘do some girlish stuffs’; both being surrounded by men/boys (who are gang members, or former)) so it’s not because of outside influences they came to have different personalities and behaviors – Senju doesn’t fight or is tomboy-ish because she was raised among men (heck, she lives/lived at her grandmother’s while Emma had no woman/girl family members), she simply likes what society deems ‘for boys’ because she is herself and likes those things ; same for Emma, she doesn’t force herself to be someone she isn’t.
The Akashi are a motherless family but we don’t know why. If the Sano parents are dead (beside Karen, Emma’s mom) then I have two theories coming to mind. Either, the Akashi parents are alive or, they are indeed dead and the father in charge of raising them is Senju and Sanzu’s but not Takeomi's (or a mix of both, who knows). There are various details pointing to Takeomi being half-siblings with Senju and Sanzu.
First, it would be another obvious parallel with the Sano → Emma is Shinichiro and Mikey’s half-sister, but make it a twist by making the half-sibling the oldest instead of the youngest. Second, Manjiro (万次郎) and Shinichiro (真一郎) share a kanji and so do Haruchiyo (春千夜) and Senju (千咒)– if their parents wanted to give them names with a same kanji why don’t they all share it ? I get it with Emma (her mom probably named her and we don’t know how involved her father was in her life, plus, 郎 is a kanji that literally means ‘son/boy’, but she could have have a name ending with 子(ko) meaning ‘child’ and who’s only used in feminine names), but Takeomi ? If they wanted to do that, even if Sanzu and Senju came after, couldn’t they choose 武 or 臣 ? Both feminine and masculine names with those kanji seem to exist (and even if they didn’t, it’s the Japanese name system, they could very much invent it – that’s what they did for Senju!(can’t find information on this name like Wakui decided to write it)). And third, the Sano brothers look a lot alike (Mikey did get his hair color from his father but beside that, they both look a lot like their mother) while Emma looks like her mom (they don’t realize straight away she’s their sister “Isn’t she a foreigner ?”, chapter 123 and Takemichi, Hinata and Naoto don’t realize it either and think she’s dating Mikey for a brief moment in chapter 66 (although Takemichi ends up saying “They do have some sorta resemblance actually” after being told, but Mikey asks him “Really ?”), Sanzu and Senju both look extremely alike while Takeomi doesn’t (different hair color, eye shape, eyelashes, eyebrows - perhaps same eye color).
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If we go along with this theory, which also makes their mother the parent they share and not their father like the Sano do (like they stay at their grandmother’s but the Sano stay at their grandfather’s), then the answer as to when Takeomi stopped living with his biological dad and moved in with his step-father would be important. Which one is responsible for how he raises his siblings, or perhaps they are both at fault ? When did their mom leave/die? Did someone ever tell Sanzu and Senju Takeomi was their half-brother ? If Takeomi’s step-father’s family name is Akashi, then Takeomi doesn’t use his birth family name either. And since Takeomi’s mom left him, does he feel the same way Emma feels about it ? (not saying his mother left for the same reason/the same way)
Or they could share the same father and have a different mother like the Sano. Either way, I’m craving for more information about them. They better not stay the “mysterious siblings” forever. Wakui pls
The Sano siblings are 4, we all know that. Izana is a Sano. So what if he throws the parallels off-balance ? He doesn’t. If you’re as delusional as I am, Muto is the Akashi’s Izana.
While Izana knew Shinichiro and Emma, and never got to know Mikey before dying in Tenjiku, Muto knew Sanzu and never got to know Takeomi and Senju. When they met, Mikey had lost Shinichiro and Emma, Sanzu left his home (and most likely stopped interacting with his siblings - although the “Haruchiyo doesn't like the fact im the head of Brahman. He doesn't like that I'm the strongest and that Takeomi endorses me” of Senju in chapter 216 means that he made his disapproval known). Izana knew of Mikey (Shinichiro kept talking about him), Muto didn’t know of Sanzu’s siblings. Muto also has the same age gap with Sanzu (and Senju) that Izana has with Mikey (and Emma). Izana was meant to parallel Mikey, Muto was meant to… parallel Takeomi. He parallels Sanzu too, in some points (staying loyal to their first ‘king’, being very harsh on betrayers/spies, having nowhere to go, Muto to Sanzu, chapter 206, “You don't have anywhere you belong ? You and I are pretty alike.”) but Sanzu said “I would've loved to have a big brother like you”(chapter 206) and so… either Wakui came up with Mucho or Takeomi first. Maybe he didn't even intend to narratively tie them in the first place. But they're still shaped in a way to be opposite. Sanzu took Mucho as his big brother figure first because he’s the opposite of the big brother Sanzu got and who failed him. Mucho’s betrayal against Mikey leaves him to die by Sanzu’s hands anyway, however, by betraying Mikey, he also betrayed Sanzu’s trust. His big brother failed him, again. A brother who told him “it's fine to be devoted to the king, but take care of yourself, too.”(chapter 206), not only validating his actions but saying he’s important as well, a brother who gave him his jacket, a brother who is the reason behind his favorite food (Sanzu’s favorite food is cheesecake for Cozy Corner and Mucho’s failure/heroic story explains why : “to make Haruchiyo Sanzu open up, Mucho bought him cheesecake from his favorite shop, Cozy Corner. The atmosphere was awkward and Mucho asked if something was wrong, to which Sanzu replied that he hated cheese, but would give it a try. There was no conversation after that.”), a brother who tried to make him open up, who tried to understand him, a brother who thought handing him a mask was a good idea because he was “missing out because of those scars” (chapter 206). Another perhaps useful information is that Sanzu dislikes “smothering people”, which was probably what Takeomi was to him (we already know Takeomi likes, has to be in control).
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We only have one example of a moment the Akashi siblings spent together, only the three of them. And that’s Senju’s “it's super sparkly ! I haven't been [in an amusement park] since second grade of elementary school !” (chapter 219) and her hidden volume cover (which happened the same year Sanzu got his scars so between April 1st and July 30th 1999).
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(Takeomi is the only character, on a (hidden or not) volume cover, we can’t see the face of. Most of them look directly at the reader, and if they don’t we can still see a bit of their face (just like Sanzu and Senju here).)
Final Timeline
It’s not a rant about the entire ending, that’s not the purpose of this post so I’ll only stick with Takeomi.
He’s the only one I have a problem with in this ending. Not him in particular, but his role, his job. Mikey and Takemichi fixed everything (the best they could), including the Akashi siblings’ relationship. All three of them work together.
I won’t say it’s bad for Takeomi’s development, it depends how it’s done and since it’s a happy ending for everyone, it shouldn’t impact anyone badly, But. Was him being the ‘self-proclaimed producer’ necessary ? I’m not against it, especially not if he has another (official) job on the side (and we know he’s smart enough to have one, and one who pays lots, which would also explain how he succeeds to ‘produce’ Senju & Haruchiyo). The only small problem I have with this is – he still lives by being someone important, needed, for somebody else, living on somebody else’s success. And it can be healthy ! But why is it ‘self-proclaimed’. Yuzuha isn’t Hakkai’s ‘self proclaimed’ manager. She is. Takeomi could very much be Haruchiyo and Senju’s producer. Sure they’re youtubers and I don't know if they can have official producers, but why? Takeomi, especially final timeline Takeomi, doesn’t need to brag about others’ achievements as if it was his own, he needs to brag about what he can and what he does by himself, without the need of anybody else.
And I don't say it’s what happens in the final timeline. But it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I hope he has another job where he constantly realizes he is the only reason why it succeeds. Because I don't need him to say ‘I raised them’ or ‘I produce them’ when someone praises Senju and Haruchiyo, as if he was the reason they became famous. I don’t need him to get Haruchiyo and Senju under the spotlight to steal it from them. I need him to be their producer because he can, because he wants to help and bond with them, without taking what they did for himself. I need him to have an individual job, to have built his career without anyone’s help, to see that he can succeed alone. And unfortunately, that’s not what this last chapter made me feel was happening.
Still, it is (and that’s why we’re here for, not me rumbling about how Takeomi’s job is the only one to piss me off because he’s the only character who ends up with a job that can screw up his development). First, I'm so glad the Akashi actually get to be siblings. There are still some issues they had had to fix (with Mikey and Takemichi’s help-), Takeomi and Haruchiyo’s relationship was already pretty bad (Takeomi has his scar on his face) but it got fixed ! Second, Takeomi deserves to feel needed (and to be), which he is by being their producer and i wish, if both sides do take advantages of the other, that it’s in the most healthy way (if that makes sense) – that “the money [...] spent out of Takeomi’s pocket” was his idea and Haruchiyo and Senju accepted (with perhaps the intention of paying Takeomi back later, maybe not with money, since Takeomi doesn’t seem to need it, but still, to do something to show Takeomi it was appreciated) and that Haruchiyo and Senju thanks him publicly, without his ego feasting on it.
I hope he got his self-esteem restored. Which of course that’s what happened, we’re in the final timeline and everything’s good. But. I really hope he did.
And I choose to believe that the “same old Takeomi.” from Shinichiro means Takeomi the same as he was when they were kids. Maybe not exactly, because Black Dragon 1st generation and Takeomi’s superiority complex happened, but that Shinichiro recognizes his childhood friend is doing well, that he’s still here somewhere and got healed.
+ What’s in a name ?
(I'm gonna do something I didn't do for the Shiba (there wasn't much to say about it for them))
Writers are careful with how they name their characters (I'm making generalities here) – and it's especially true with Japanese and Chinese Writers whose characters' name change meaning depending on how they decide to write it
So it's been odd to me, when I realized the ‘Take’ in both Takeomi and Takemichi were the same. Why would Wakui do that? It can't be a coincidence, right ? And indeed. The Akashi siblings' names hold meaning.
Let's start with 明司 (Akashi). 明 (aka) means light, bright and is made of the Kanji used for sun (日) and the one used for moon (月). Then, 司 (shi) means official, director, administrator and was once used to design governors the Emperor had appointed to carry out the imperial policies in provinces. So 司 is for people in power, but not at the top. As said before, 司 seems to come from 后 which is the same kanji upside down and which means ‘emperor, king, monarch..’.
武 from both Takeomi and Takemichi means ‘military, war’. Takemichi's name is actually made of the exact Kanji as Budō (武道, way of war/way of the martial arts). 臣 (Omi) means ‘retainer, subject’ and could be used as a ‘I’ when addressing one's master. Ah, and it can be pronounced ‘Shin’ by itself. Because of course it does.
Takeomi is either: the warrior retainer or the war/military retainer. But he can also be in some way, the director of the light (and so can be Sanzu and Senju.)
I've got more to say about Sanzu than Senju so I'll start with her. Search "Senju Japanese name" into a search bar, you won't end up finding it written like Wakui decided to write it. Not that it means it doesn’t exist, but it's not popular. And for cause, Wakui chose to write Senju: 千咒 – A thousand curses.
Now, who would name their child "curse", I don't know. Perhaps it's one of those names where they're supposed to be degrading so as to push bad spirits/ghosts away? I have two theories for this but they’re without any real basis. One of them is ; the person who named her was really angry at her birth and since we don’t know where is/what happened to their mother.. Yeah (either she died giving birth or for some reasons she named Senju that way before leaving/disappearing). Or it could be one of those ‘Kira Kira names’ (names outside of the norm parents decided were cool). Anyway, Senju thinks she is the reason why both Mikey and Sanzu (+Baji) turned up that way, which isn't true as we're being told after, but Senju thought she was the reason behind Mikey's curse – without knowing it was a curse.
I didn't find any real concrete stuff about Kawaragi. Which is sad. 瓦 means roof tile and 城 means castle. When put together with the Kanji 礫, 瓦礫 means rubbish, wreckage, debris. With the Kanji 解, it becomes 瓦解; collapse, downfall. Normally I won't dare to talk about things who seem to be a bit too coincidental. But 土崩瓦解 doesn't feel coincidental. It can either mean 'complete collapse' or, '(something) going to pieces', meaning 'broke beyond repair'. Which she did. Or rather, thinks she did (not only the toy plane, but “Ever since that day, they all changed… mikey, baji and Haruchiyo. They all changed, and it's because of me” (chapter 241, Senju)). Also, 瓦 is 万 but backward and 万 is the first Kanji of ‘Manjiro’ (万次郎). Which makes a lot more sense. I guess ? For 城; there's 成, meaning 'promoted' it's notably used in Shogi where some pieces can be, well, promoted.
I like to think Sanzu started calling himself such because Mikey and Baji decided to find themselves different names (even if Baji is never even once referred as Ed or Edward). But whatever the reason, Sanzu is one hell of a name. Quite literally, hell. If you look up "Sanzu'' and ignore the Tokyo Revengers-related things, you'd scramble upon: 三途の川 – Sanzu no Kawa. River of the three crossings. A place the deads have to cross after their deaths, and which leads them either to heaven, to hell, or to resurrection. Souls get punished there. Every sin gets met with a trial.
(Plus, it's interesting to know that those you get drag to Jigoku, "hell", fall in the water/river where a bunch of snakes await them. Whereas people who get a pass to Tengoku, heaven walk over a bridge. Sanzu is never called ‘sanzu’ in the original timeline. But you know how Shinichiro died the first time ? Yeah, you do. He isn’t called Sanzu once in the original timeline, and even if he is in the final timeline, I decide to believe it’s because Mikey and Takemichi are too used to calling him that way to realize it and he just picked it up.)
春千夜 (Haruchiyo), is the only name among the Akashi who don't have any kind of negativity in it. Senju has curses, Takeomi has retainer (which isn't a negative thing in itself, but we've already established that Takeomi wants to be so much more than to be at someone's else service), Haruchiyo means "Spring of a thousand nights". Just like Senju, he has 千, ‘a thousand’ in his name.
Remember the 武 from Takeomi and Takemichi ? Yeah ? Well I'm a bit of a liar. Rather than a liar, I didn't say everything. There's a third character with 武 in his name. But it isn't pronounced 'Take' for one, and for two, it's in his family name, not his first
武藤  泰宏
Muto Yasuhiro
(I can't imagine the pain he has to go through every time he writes his name down. 藤 is one hell of a kanji.)
Ah... Mucho. Sanzu's big brother figure. Better than the other. But who did the only thing Sanzu would kill anyone for: betray Mikey. But that's not the point here, we're here to talk about his name. Beside the obvious 武 meant to add to the fact he's Sanzu's big brother, like Takeomi but reversed, 藤 means wisteria. 泰宏(Yasuhiro) means "peaceful' and 'broad' which describes Mucho's personality accurately but, but, but. In 泰 there's 𡗗 just like in 春 ;) (it actually doesnt mean much because taiju also has it in one of his kanji but shh). Or, just like Sanzu shares a kanji with his sister, he shares half one with his not related by blood brother. And ⺢ is a variant of 水, water, just like Sanzu is a river.
朕 is also in there. It's the royal ‘I’, ‘we’ – completely opposite of the servant 臣, ‘I’. More globally, wisterias represent the imperial family in Japan; thanks to the Fujiwara who impacted Japan by a lot when they were the ones ruling the country. And I’ll stop there with Mucho because I may be going too deep here and at some point digging further is meaningless.
Shinichiro and Mikey’s names are… It made me chuckle, not gonna lie. Not because of what the kanji means, but because those are extremely common kanji found in names. 一郎 in 真一郎(Shinichiro) means ‘first’ and ‘boy/son’. 次郎 in 万次郎(Manjiro) means ‘next’ and ‘boy/son’. These (reading ‘Ichiro’ and ‘Jiro’ by themselves) were rather common names for children from not-upper class families. It’s much less common nowadays. Then there’s 真 who means ‘real, sincere, genuine, truth’ and 万  who means ‘ten thousand’. And I didn't quite understand why their parents would choose that kanji, but if you add 全 to it then it gives 万全 or, ‘perfection, flawlessness’, and suddenly it makes my heart melt and also more sense. (it also seems to come from his grandfather’s name Mansaku (万作))
Sano 佐野 too, is a rather common name. Or at least half a common name. since 佐 may make you think of 佐藤 (Sato) which is the most common Japanese family name. However, the 藤 comes from the Fujiwara clan, since the Sano don’t have this kanji (unlike Muto) we can say they don’t have samurai ancestors (or if they do, it got lost along the way). It seems like family name with two out of three of the following kanji : 田, 中 or 村 are reasonably common. And 野 (Sano) has both 田 and 村. (although unlike Tanaka(田中), Nakamura(中村) and others they are stuck inside one kanji).
Unlike Akashi which describes someone of the upper-class, the Sano are everyday average people (Sano means ‘to help’ and ‘field, plain’ but also a prefix meaning ‘wild, lacking a political post’). Except they aren’t. But Wakui must find himself funny for this.
EDIT: 'Sano' is a city in the Tochigi Prefecture in Kanto, which economy revolves around agriculture and light manifacturing. It was also once the name of a clan.
(By the way, the -no of Terano (寺野) is the same kanji. As in, Terano South. And there are some parallels between Mikey and him.. (ill mother, no father, a parent who's a foreigner – but Mikey was born and raised in Japan while South had Brazil), person who raised him showed him the world of delinquency (but they had clearly different view of it), go live with their grandparent(s), person who raised them died when they were 12 (Shin died before Mikey had turned 13) because of ‘dark impulses’ (South himself; Kazutora), they both have ‘dark impulses’ (although we might never know why/how/if they are really the same dark impulses for South), they are both known by a English name rather than their official Japanese one (but Mikey chose his while Dino named South)… We don’t have enough about South and I don't like it.)
(Even worse, because if you’re as delusional as I am, you would notice that if you take out two strokes of 南(South) you end up with the kanji 幸. And since Mikey loved his mother very much, and she loved him very much, and South loved his mother very much… Then his mother must have loved him very much as well (even if she was incapable of fully taking care of him). And 幸 means ‘happiness, luck, blessing fortune’. But then it’s a girl name. But perhaps that’s what his mother wanted her child to be named if it was a daughter ? It’s still hidden in the ‘’Minami’’(南) Anyway, as I said, I’m being delusional and 南 is not an unusual name in Japan. Leave me and my headcanons alone. There's also the possibility it was his father who was Japanese, of course. After all South’s name is Japanese, but then, we don't know a thing about his father so we can't say if him and South’s mom were married. But no matter which one was his Japanese parent, he either had no vocabulary in Japanese or only the basis and had had to learn everything when he was sent to live with his grandparents in Japan – who probably don't speak a word of Portuguese so it didn’t help South having very violent habits. They couldn't communicate.)
I didn’t find something that caught my attention with Baji’s kanji. Sad. But Edward means ‘guardian, protector’ so at least he chose a name that does describe him well. Micheal means ‘who is like god ?’ and of course reminds you of Michael the Archangel and knowing his mother called him ‘my angel’, well my heart is currently aching. I mean… Baji is made of a kanji meaning ‘place’ and another meaning ‘ground’ (the kanji for Keisuke means ‘jewels/corner’ and ‘meditation’ and i really have no idea for those) – Michael is one of the most famous angel name and Sanzu is linked to the afterlife so.. perhaps Baji is the ‘human’ of them three ?
(Baji Keisuke is written 圭介場地. Out of all these kanji there's only 圭 I perhaps found something interesting about. In Shogi, there's a piece called 成桂; 'promoted Katsura' and its abrevation is 圭. Btw, in Shogi, the 'king' is 玉将 or 王将 (if you're a lower rank player or a challenger VS if you're a higher rank player or a reigning champion) notice the dot ? It's 瓦 from 'Kawaragi' vs 万 from 'Manjiro' again)
Emma and Izana's can't be analyzed this much. I didn't find anything for Izana (If i go on Behind the name, in japanese the name Izana (rare and only used in pop culture) comes from the verb izanau ; to invite, to ask someone to do, to call for, to tempt, to lure, to entice ; but honestly, searching for the etymology of this name doesn’t give you a lot of answer (not enough sites say the same thing for me to believe it)) and Emma is "universal, whole" when it comes of German etymology and "all containing" when it comes of Hebrew etymology.
Also it’s interesting how Sanzu and Senju decided to change their family name and not their first like Mikey and Baji. Plus, Baji gets called by his family name every time so it didn’t serve much – like Senju who changed her family name but is never addressed by it in the story (even Brahman members yell ‘’Senju’’). But then Mikey changed his first name and gets called by it and Sanzu changed his family name and gets called by it. One option for each possibility, so it could be in/Wakui’s purpose! The one who didn’t use their other name as much as their real one are the ones to die, whereas the one who, to overstate the point, changed their identity by identifying with something that wasn’t initially them, actually got those selves erased. It’s more clear for Sanzu. Sanzu came up with ‘Sanzu’ and ‘Akashi Haruchiyo’ wasn’t anymore. Mikey came up with this name for another reason but it was still to get rid of ‘Manjiro’. And he didn’t get rid of ‘Manjiro’ until his brother, the only person left to call him that, died. Mikey’s flashback (chapter 264-265: “I.. really like ‘strong’ people [...] Until that day [Shinichiro’s death] [...] I was looking for ‘something’ other than strength [...] All the guys in Toman are good. They're so good but there's something I can't figure out. I wonder how long… there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart [...] ‘strong’ alone is not enough [...] After all, all I need is ‘darkness’.”) tells us he was already starting to follow his Dark Impulses ; after his brother’s death. He confesses it to Kisaki (“I wonder how long… there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart. Sometimes that ‘something’ expands and drives me to destroy absolutely everything”). Manjiro Sano died with his brother. Other people may still call him that way, like his grandfather, but Mikey is Mikey. And this innocent name he once chose to make his sister feel less lonely became a metaphor for his incoming loss of sense of self.
We can also add that Shinichiro may have not changed the way he called Mikey because since his brother, 'Manjiro', was the only thing left from his life before it went downhill, calling him 'Mikey' instead of 'Manjiro' would have created even more of a distance between Shinichiro and his past 'normal' life from his childhood.
Baji and Mikey chose their name (Micheal & Edward) to try to make Emma open up. To get closer to her (especially Mikey). And Emma gets her birth name (Kurokawa) changed as Sano, which makes her even closer to her two brothers (and less from Izana). Sanzu and Senju chose their name to separate themself from Takeomi (and each other).
Of course, they aren't the only characters being best-known as a name they chose themselves of have been given by others. Draken for example, doesn't show any kind of resentment or even neutrality against his name; Ken is still present in Draken. We also know he chose it as a child (like the others), but (unlike the others) a reason is never given - he most likely thought it was cool; just like Mitsuya's dragon and his new tattoo were. Same with Benkei. It is written in katakana in the manga, but with kanji Benkei and Keizo have the same 'Kei'. Benkei is one of the most famous historical figure in Japan, by the way. (He is the servant of Minamoto no Yoshitsune, born Ushiwakamaru. Birth name which shares a lot of kanji with 'Imaushi Wakasa'. Both were great fighters). South, is another example of a name given to change one's identity – but South didn't name himself 'South'; Dino did, after making him kill someone, or giving him a bloody baptism if you prefer. And 'Minami' means 'South' but Minami never grew up enough for us or himself to know who he was.
(+ 
mikey baji sanzu and senju are four and so are bd 1st gen doesn’t feel like a coincidence. But i cant think of something that makes it very interesting. Wakasa and sanzu both know about the og timeline, baji and takeomi are used as parallels at least once, senju has some commons traits with Shinichiro, but mikey does too (and more), senju and benkei.. both like MMA ? And their favorite catchers are rivals ? Thats not much for me to talk about ngl)
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tooweirdforyou · 3 years
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I-I very much enjoyed your fic with the S/O having a mean & horrible ex. I-I was wondering if you could do one with Law, Shanks and Crocodile?? (It’s cause I too had a very horrible ex and it was very comforting to read your lovely fics) thank you so much and I hope you stay safe and have a lovely day 🥺💖💖💖💖💖
Law, Shanks + Crocodile And A S/O With A Mean Ex
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A/N : I’m sorry this took a while, I really hope you all are okay, with having to experience and deal with exes like that :/
note : mentions of abuse / harsh words / names
no mention of specificity so I varied scenes.
Summary : these boys reacting to your mean ex coming by and talking to you.
Zoro, Mihawk, Ace » Here!
-
Law
Law is harsh. He is sadistic. He is angry. But yet, he remains calm. Though, he is quite the provoking type. He’s almost a Yandere.
It starts off on just coming onto an island in hopes to pick up some supplies. As much as the others focus, Penguin and Shachi are easy to get distracted and immediately made friends with a particular someone, while you were out with Law.
Once the crew regrouped at the coast, you and Law find Shachi and Penguin laughing with an unfamiliar person and your eyes widen at the sight.
“[ Ex Name ]?”
Almost immediately, laughter ceased and your ex turn to you with wide eyes before a sneer was seen, shocking everyone else once again.
“[Name]? What the hell are you doing here?” Your ex scoffs as they roll their eyes. “Everywhere I go, it seems it always links back to you, I swear.”
Your brows furrowed as you unintentionally took a step back, Law quickly noticing the said action as he narrows his eyes at the person.
“Who are you? What business do you have with [Name]-ya?”
“What business? Who the fuck are you?” Your ex then snaps in realization. “Ah, you must be the surgeon of death, captain of the Heart Pirates.” They began to cackle.
“Doctor? You went for a doctor after me?” They continue to laugh, you just gulping as they continue to take step by step closer to you.
Unknown to the group, Law was creating a giant room and his sword was ready to slice your ex apart.
“It makes sense you’d go for a doctor. Maybe he could find what the hell is wrong with your brain for even thinking about leaving me, you little—!”
Shutting your eyes and bracing for another physical attack from your ex, you widen them when you hear Law’s voice.
“That’s enough.”
SLASH!
“You really have the nerve to come to my crew, to walk towards my significant other, and dare attempt to hit them?”
Swinging his sword to rest on his shoulder, his eyes darken dangerously and a cocky smirk was found on his lips, nearly sending chills down everyone’s spine as they stare at your ex that was cut into two.
“What were you saying about them dating a doctor? Oh, that’s right. ‘To fix something in their brain’ was it? It was actually to allow me to heal any disgusting injuries that you both mentally and physically caused [Name]-ya.” Law corrects, pulling down his sword to cut a few more pieces from your ex.
Speaking of which, your ex didn’t say a word, mostly internally panicking at the sight of his limbs apart from each other, since he was witnessing first hand, the Surgeon of Death’s skills.
“Where is that arrogant attitude just now? What happened?” Law hums, tilting his head to the side before he continued to cut them piece by piece.
“Law.. let’s go..”
Law stands up hearing you and with a piercing glare, he sheathes his sword and stepped onto one of your ex’s hands, eliciting a whimper from them.
“Next time, I’ll break off your arms to make sure you can never even attempt to hurt [Name]-ya.”
With that, he began heading back to the submarine, guiding you along with him as the crew silently followed, the room disappearing and left your ex alone, all cut up.
And though you were in public, in front of the crew, Law willingly brought you closer to him. His movement gentle with you. Only for you, was he soft.
-
Shanks
Though Shanks’ looks are quite calm about all of this, his eyes say otherwise.
It would be when you are sailing around the New World, heading out to the Grand Line to meet with Mihawk with Shanks.
However, along the way, it seems something had occurred. A lone sailer, drifting across the water on a small boat passed out.
The kind gentleman he was, Shanks told the crew to pull him up and treat them. You almost didn’t recognize who it was, until they actually confronted you, and it seems someone still held anger within themselves.
“[Name]?”
You’d be shocked for sure, unable to say a word, just speechless that the person Shanks saved, turned out to be your ex that you left after they verbally abused you.
“Why the hell are you on Red Haired’s ship?... you don’t belong here..not on the famous, notorious one armed Emperor.” They were clutching their arm and had bandages all around them.
“I..” Before you could say anything, your ex continued to talk, unknown to the red-haired pirate Captain coming out himself.
“Even when we were dating, you always stood out. Not in the good way. You kept making trouble for me and everyone else, and just never belonged anywhere with anyone. I’m almost embarrassed I dated you.”
You simply look away, ignoring whatever he had to say, missing Shanks silent steps forward.
“You’re just an accident waiting to happen. Oh wait.. it already did.”
Before your ex could continue further, Shanks was already looming over them on the ground, the sharpest glare his eyes could muster. He didn’t even have to use haki to instantly intimidate your ex. You could tell from the fearful and shocked look across their face.
“My apologies, sir/Ma’am. I don’t think I heard you right. Could you repeat that for me?” His one arm would be gripping the hilt of his sword casually.
His face plastered the forceful and harshest grin you’ve ever seen.
“I know you couldn’t have insulted my beloved so casually like that, so I must kindly ask you to repeat your words once more. My dear [Name] is an angel and if you really have the guts to say further unnecessary things to my lover.. well.”
He began to unsheathe his sword and a smirk came over his lips.
“I can make you a nonfamous, one-armed asshole.”
Fully unsheathed, Shanks casually held out his sword, now crouching down to their level. “Would you like that?”
Hyperventilating at the thought of being cut by one of the Emperors, your ex simply screamed and ran over to the railing of the ship, before jumping off for his life.
You were just shocked, not quite sure of what to say or think but Shanks quickly snapped you out of it, his sword now sheathed and hand gently caressing yours.
“Hey, Angel. Let’s continue sailing and once we greet Mihawk, let’s have a party and relax. Okay?”
-
Crocodile
Crocodile is condescending.
He’d just sneer and scoff at your ex.
It’d be when you two are away for a bit, along with Mr. 1, Daz Bones. After Crocodile’s title as Warlord has been revoked.
You two were just together, Crocodile walking with you around the area and occasionally looking at a couple things through the display window, and if you looked at something a little too long, he’d immediately buy it for you, plus more, despite your attempts to stop him.
Now, this time, Crocodile and Daz had to discuss a certain topic that he didn’t want you to overhear, so he gave you some money and told you to wander around and buy yourself some things.
Not wanting to disrupt their important meeting, you agreed, and so you were simply just walking around the town on your own.
Unfortunately, had to bump into someone along the way. Literally.
About to fall on your ass, a hand caught yours immediately. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you! Are you okay?-“
Almost immediately, once the person recognized your face, they let go and caused you to fall anyways.
“[Name]?!” Clear confusion ran across their face as they immediately jumped back at the shock. “Why are you here?”
You barely heard them, feeling pain on your tailbone from the rough fall as you slowly stood up. “I’m here.. for none of your business..”
Coughing slightly, your ex scrunches up their face before rolling their eyes. “I can’t believe I almost saved you. Get out of my sight, [Name]. This town isn’t big enough for the both of us.”
“Why don’t you leave instead?”
Crocodile, making his way over with Daz behind him, stares down at your ex like he was inferior. Nothing more than a pest.
His cigar between his teeth and his giant coat hanging around his shoulders, which he took off and carefully placed around you once he was beside you.
“Tch. An ex-warlord? Pathetic. I can’t believe you’re actually going out with a man like him.” Your ex comments rudely, making Crocodile smirk a bit in amusement, walking towards your ex and gripping his throat with his large hand.
“A man like me, you say? Someone who is strong enough to even become a warlord. Someone with money and power that can easily take you down within seconds?”
Slowly, your ex began to lose all liquid in their body and was becoming wrinkly, due to Crocodile’s sand.
His smirk then drops to one unimpressed as he squeezed harder, until there was nothing left.
“You are undeserving to even be in my nor [Name]’s presence. Get lost, you pathetic waste of space.”
With that, Crocodile dropped your ex’s lifeless corpse and turned to you, with a soft expression. “Let’s go, darling. We’ll find you some new clothing.”
Hand pressed against the dip of your back, he gently guided you away from the scene and let Daz take care of your ex’s body.
-
Sorry for the delay, anon. I sincerely hope this was okay!
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qqueenofhades · 3 years
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Hey, I loved your post about queerness in historical fiction. I was wondering if you could help me find a better way to explain (or know of someone who could) to the white (usually male) fans of Tolkien who are currently losing their minds because in the series for Amazon they have cast Sir Lenny Henry (a black man) as a hobbit. It feels like the exact same argument that was dealt with when Anya Chalotra was cast as Yennefer for The Witcher. It just seems like only white people are screaming that the entire cast must be white in both the case of the Witcher and Middle Earth in order to be "historically accurate to the Dark Ages" when it's all fantasy. I'm a white person and I don't get it. It's really frustrating that the only way to convince them that people of color should be allowed to play characters who aren't evil-doers is to bring up the existence of the potato in both Middle Earth and The Witcher. In this most recent fight, I've been called all kinds of names (one dude keeps saying I'm racist when I haven't brought up race or anything like that) and it's ridiculous because Henry was cast as a Harfoot who were hobbits with dark skin that they claim means Mediterranean not Black.
Ooof. I admire your initiative, I really do, but also: there comes a point where all good-faith efforts are totally futile, because these people don't actually WANT their beliefs challenged, and there won't be anything you can do about it except to exhaust yourself. You can throw all the material or documentary evidence at them that you want, but it won't work, because racism, white superiority, and the assumption of a monolithically white medieval history are a helluva drug. They are eager to split ridiculous hairs like "dark skin means Mediterranean instead of black" because, well, racism, whether or not they want to acknowledge that. Because Mediterranean is at least European, whereas for them, Black is Bad, Inferior, or otherwise Unacceptable. This doesn't even get into the types who want to claim that Ancient Rome (which was rather notably, y'know, Mediterranean and North African) was actually lily-white, because even dark-skinned Southern and Eastern Europeans can't ultimately make the racist cut.
Tolkien himself obviously had problems with his depiction of race and racialized people (witness the Haradrim, "men from the South," being the only people of colour in the story and generalized as an indiscriminate evil force fighting for Sauron against the white/Northern European heroes). That's not to say Tolkien was actively racist (see: the letter he wrote to the Nazi German would-be publishers of The Hobbit, inviting them cordially to get fucked), but it does mean that he was steeped in the usual assumptions and expectations of a white upper-class British man in the 1920s and 1930s, and not least the mindset that the (white) rulers of the (nonwhite) British Empire were superior, morally correct, and the privileged resisters of "evil" political systems. (This isn't even getting into how Germany was admired throughout the long 19th century for its perceived cultural and social superiority, the American eugenics movement directly influenced the Nazis, a lot of people thought that Hitler's only mistake was being too obviously crazy, and America and Britain only actively entered World War II when their territory/perceived global power was infringed upon.)
White people tend to assume that if they personally don't hold discriminatory attitudes (and they usually do, just because that's what society has taught them for almost all of modern history), they can't be racist, and it's a personal insult to call them that. They know that Racism Is Bad, but likewise, it's always someone else's fault, not theirs. See the huge brouhaha over the supposed plan to teach "critical race theory" in American public schools, which is really just acknowledging that centuries of racism and discrimination have created a system that disadvantages people of color at every level. This is absolute heresy for today's right wing (which has become ever more extreme, reactionary, and historically amnesiac) to admit. They can admit historical racism, sometimes, maybe, only in demonstrably "bad" people, but as far as they're concerned, there was no lingering effect whatsoever, and it's "un-American" (read: anti-white supremacist) to insist otherwise. Land of the free! Everyone treated the same! Etc. etc. The continued inferior or disadvantaged life outcomes of people of color is, according to these types, simply a result of them not being motivated/ambitious/smart enough to fix their own broken circumstances. Those centuries of genocide, cultural destruction, use as literal chattel slaves, etc, has nothing to do with it.
If this sounds ridiculous: well, obviously, it is. But as reactionary mindsets have become troublingly normalized and social media has allowed people to spread both passively and actively racist content to unprecedented degrees, it has also leaked into media. The type of white-man-fan you're arguing with won't accept any "historically accurate" argument for the inclusion of non-white people, even as they're staking their own (bad) arguments on that hill. This is because they want to claim the sole privilege to create a nostalgic/imagined/fantasy space that looks just like them. Their underlying belief is that people of color never had any power or consequential role in history, and shouldn't have, so they don't want to see a space, even an explicitly fantastic/non-historical setting (like LOTR, The Witcher, GOT, etc.), where this is the case. Whether or not they want to say it, or even if they're aware of it, they feel that even if they've been unhappily forced to accept a small lessening of their cultural power just because we no longer automatically accept that white men get to run everything, they at least can take comfort in a (white) past. And now, or so they think, the "politically correct" types also want to ruin their racist fantasy comfort zone. They can't even escape from multiculturalism in media, as it too has become steadily more diverse.
Basically: it's racism, Jan. It's many levels of racism, you can't argue those people out of it, and you have to identify and understand that, especially since their favorite diversionary tactic will be the schoolyard maneuver of going, "no, YOU'RE the racist!!!"
(Also: "historically accurate to the Dark Ages" should tell you everything you need to know. These people know absolutely nothing about history, but that won't prevent them from weaponising it in defense of the perceived threat to their cultural and racial domination. Besides, yet again, fantasy universes have no claim to historical accuracy, and if you say that, I assume you just want to feel justified in creating a fictional universe where the only powerful/consequential people are white heterosexual western European-coded men, because you not-so-secretly wish it was still that way in reality.)
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iamanartichoke · 3 years
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Why would Loki believe what Mobius tells or shows him? Frigga's death-film could be faked, Loki's responsibility for it might false, saying he always fails and causes death etc. ... where's the proof? Yes, the segments were selected to manipulate his emotions and align him with the TVA, and there's self-loathing, but he's also supposed to be smart and familiar with how lies work. Maybe he's playing along to escape and do what every Loki who ever existed and created a variant did: what he wants.
[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]
Well, here's the thing.
(under the cut for spoilers + length)
Objectively, I agree with you - that is, I fully recognize and agree with the characterization of Loki being intelligent and also manipulative (and therefore more than familiar with the art of lying), and I agree that it would be really, really hard to manipulate Loki without him realizing what you're doing and figuring out how to counter it and manipulate you in return (and you won't figure it out as quickly).
However. I don't think Loki is impossible to manipulate, or that his intelligence and innate capacity to lie (often and well) mean that he's immune to falling prey to someone else's schemes, when those schemes are rooted in/relying on all of the rawest vulnerabilities that Loki, as a person, possesses.
Loki's tragic flaw (or one of them, in my opinion) is that his emotions can and often do get the better of him because they are the result of how thoroughly and bone-deeply he hates himself. In Thor 2011, for example, Loki's initial plan evolves from trying to delay Thor's coronation into trying to simultaneously destroy Asgard's greatest enemy (and, presumably, destroy the monster within himself) and trying to prove his worth as a prince and a son to Odin. Were his plan to succeed, the only thing he would ultimately gain is validation that he has equal value to Thor. (Certainly he knows that Odin will wake up and Thor will eventually return; like, there are no long-term goals for keeping the throne here.)
Point being, everything he's orchestrating becomes motivated by emotion over logic and, ultimately, he doesn't really lose so much as he gives up because Odin rejects his plan - and, therefore, rejects Loki - and it hurts him so badly that he attempts to kill himself. He literally can't live with the pain it causes him.
So, I mean, we already know that Loki is deeply emotional and immensely insecure. We know that he's felt inferior and out of place his entire life, only to have those feelings validated by the revelation of his being Jotun and the rejection of his effort to prove himself as worthy as Thor.
We also know that a literally suicidal Loki ended up going through an extremely traumatic experience with Thanos and, furthermore, he has now failed pretty majorly in "taking over" Earth. Loki's in bad mental shape and, I mean, there's his proof right there that Mobius is right and that he always fails and causes death. He failed in Thor 2011 (and caused death). He failed in Avengers (and caused death). He believes himself to be worthless, deserving of rejection; he is emotionally unstable and has untapped reservoirs of pain under the surface.
He is, in other words, in an absolutely ideal place to be manipulated by Mobius. He doesn't seem to believe what Mobius tells or shows him at first - asking where Frigga is being kept, not believing the events that haven't happened to him yet, arguing back against every point Mobius makes, etc. But, as the scene wears on, you can tell he's becoming less and less sure that it's a falsity and more and more uncomfortable and upset because Mobius is unrelentingly digging at everything Loki's ever feared about himself.
That's the state Loki's in when Mobius selectively shows him the most painful scenes from his future.
Not to diagnose Loki, bc I am not qualified to do so, but to project a little bit - as an emotionally unstable person myself, who has struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember, I can very easily see how Loki would believe Mobius at that point.
It's like, imagine that you have all of these fears about yourself and they color the lens through which you view the world. I mean, Loki's experiences have definitely contributed to his poor self worth, and his family and culture have fucked him up - no imagined slights here - but when you hate yourself enough, it can alter how you perceive every little thing.
You may blame yourself a little harder for things that aren't your fault. You may too quickly assume that someone else thinks the worst of you when they may not think anything in particular about you at all. You may feel completely and utterly alone and hopeless about that ever changing because why would anyone want ever want to love someone as worthless as you?
Now imagine you've done some really bad things and, deep down, you feel guilty about them. You didn't enjoy doing them, but you did enjoy how powerful they made you feel, and that makes you a bad person, too. You weren't even wanted as a baby, for fuck's sake; you were literally abandoned for no discernable reason besides possibly being a runt, aka being born wrong.
These are all things you feel, and then here comes this person who is showing you events that have happened that he shouldn't know about, he's telling you information about yourself that he shouldn't have, he's showing you that he's got the resources to figure you and your life out and then he tells you to your face - while showing you even more failure and death in your future - oh hey, everything that you fear and everything that you feel? Yeah, that's all valid. You are irredeemable. You are responsible for death and destruction. You are unwanted, both by your family and by existence itself. You're only here so that others can have someone to stand on while they climb to the top. You killed your own mother because you're so selfish and vengeful! God, how do you even live with yourself, you destructive waste of space?
I mean, again, call me biased and paint me as projecting my mental illnesses on Loki but if it were me, no amount of intelligence or experience with lies would be enough to not believe every single word Mobius said about me (and about the situation).
It's certainly possible that Loki is playing along to escape; I mean, we know that he does eventually escape, though whether he gets captured again or not remains to be seen. But I think that, at the conclusion of the episode, Loki has just been broken down enough by everything he went through that day (it was a really rough day for Loki) that he's like, yknow what, just - okay, fine, tell me what I have to do bc I'm all outta options here.
(Actually, to be completely honest, I think there's both going on - Loki is resigned to being stuck with the TVA but also he probably recognizes that, at some point, he's going to get the opportunity to escape and might as well play nice until it comes along.)
So, yeah - I completely buy how that scene went down in regards to Loki believing Mobius.
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silvanable · 3 years
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Overblot Theory (pt1?)
okay okay all my twst darlings, i bring forward a theory. and please bear with me because this is written in the middle of the night-morning & i am thriving on sleep drugs that aren’t doing their job, so there’s likely a million typos and half of it or more might sound like drunk rambling the irony of never being drunk lol.
also i’m tagging now that this contains spoilers i guess? i haven’t finished chapter 5 ( i’m still fairly early in ) yet but i’m literally going to be talking about everything i’ve seen thus far regarding overblot and those effected by it.
aNYWAYS—
so we all know how overblot works right? nasty emotional build up, using too much magic, and then sNAP!
that’s great and dandy, it seems like a build up that gets to a tipping point and suddenly that last drop cracks the glass and everything comes flooding out— right?
but what if overblot isn’t actually that flood point where they turn? what if the overblot is the whole process, not when they are consumed by the negative energies and black magic that force such a violent change on them?
so in every chapter thus far, there is always a few scenes were were see the ink dripping. gradually as we progress through the chapters, we watch as the character begins to spiral and is consumed by negative emotions. each time we see the ink, it splotches more and more, growing and forming a larger puddle each time.
BUT— each case is slightly different from the others, despite having the same trends with each dorm and the inevitable overblot, each character has a different way of reaching that.
so we have the general order everyone overblots for plot purposes, but in my opinion the fact riddle didn’t overblot sooner was fucking astounding. we’re shown how liberally he used his magic and the super strict and toxic mindset he had which was forced on him since childhood. then after each scene we saw of the ink pooling, riddle would gradually become worse in the chapter, until the moment he snapped and became a homicidal maniac.
leona was similar, except instead of him using his magic, he was consumed by his own emotions more and more. it was his hatred from his brother, his family, and his home that started it. then the issue of being second still in nrc to someone like malleus. many reasons to why leona is a lazy ass but i love him still oof but because he kept these things contained, letting it boil and seep into him, it made these things so much worse than they should have been. so ultimately when his plan fails, after trying so hard and becoming so desperate, there’s a surge and he transforms.
azul goes down a combined path, he uses his magic constantly, even with a buffer like a contract and his crystal, and is consumed by his own self loathing and emotions that send him spiraling. the final straw is the moment when his contracts are stolen and disintegrated by leona. but it was already shown throughout chapter 3 that azul has a moment of breaking, despite his composure, was spiraling the moment yuu started poking around. and being outsmarted did nothing for his barely existing pride to begin with.
jamil, out of all of them, but far hurt me the most because all of his sly tactics and underhanded tricks were really because he was trying to fight so he could be himself. fully heartedly believe if grim and yuu never showed up, he would have never overblotted. granted what jamil does is a big dick move but his entire life he’s been repressed and he has no freedom to himself what so ever— essentially he was forced to be an adult since he was a child and lemme tell you that ain’t fun. the one thing i consider a key part here is not the fact his emotions got the better of him in the end, but the fact he used his unique magic on the entire fucking scarabia dorm.
as for vil, granted i don’t know much, but pride and especially vanity will no doubt play a lot into his overblot all because of his rival neige. he’s already a very strict and disciplined character who holds himself very high and strives for nothing less than perfection... so we all know how that ends.
each one of them showed similar tendencies. all of them have some sort of inferiority complex, repressed emotions, and magic is always involved in small or excessive quantities. what i think is going on is not that suddenly they are overwhelmed— no, the overblot starts before anyone notices. that’s what the ink represents.
let’s assume that everyone, no matter what, always has blot, regardless if their magic crystals are ‘clean’ and ‘clear’. after all, the crystals are supposed to be an extra barrier between the user and magical backlash, but emotions have to play a part in this too. so while the crystals protect from magic blot, emotional is different... they just kind of soak that disgusting ink right up and channels all their magic right through it and the crystals only soak up so much of it.
so everyone has some blot? great. but what’s the point of this? i’ll tell you! it’s that each person handles it differently. our boys here all swallow their complaints, the crap they deal with, disagree with, or have been served, and try to shove it into some deep, dark, forgotten pit to never see again. except it doesn’t work, because the more they use magic the more it warps those feelings, feeding off of it. it uses emotions as a sort of super charge for the magic, which creates more negative magic and amplifies the emotions.
so the overblot had already started by the time yuu and grim show up, just some of the boys had decent wraps of it all and didn’t have a nosy human ruining their fucking plans.
okay, kidding, i don’t believe that yuu and grim play a super major part, as eventually the overblots would happen with our without them. either way, i don’t think there would have been a way to stop it without knowing and solving the problem before the transformed and needing anyone in the near vicinity with ability to beat the shit out of the monster controlled student & knock some sense back into them.
i think that by the time yuu shows up, it’s already too late. that first moment we see the ink drip and gather? that’s the start and there’s no stopping it. why? because that was the overblot, the end of filling up and the beginning of tipping without a way to reverse it.
instead of having their emotions all tucked away, the magic has morphed into something nasty, too strong, and they might not even know it. at this point, it’s less about them actually accumulating blot and more that every negative emotion and burst of magic they let out begins to accelerate the build up attracting every little bit of negativity and magic whether or not they actually feel or do anything. the transformation is not the overblot finally happening, it’s the completion, when all that black magic, blot, and emotions burst free from its cage and utter consumes the host.
now i’m not going into the theory i have about the overblot forms and the shadows, because that’s an entirely different topic for me about possession and the great 7, but what i’m trying to say here is—
the overblot is the whole process, not just the transformation and monstrous shadow lurking behind the newest asshole victim.
the ink forming, the unstable spiral each character falls into, and finally the explosion that transforms them. it’s the magic and emotions that muddled together taking on an intent of its own, a will of nothing but chaos and destruction, taints their magic crystals, and uses the host as a means of executing it by clouding their minds and giving them the power they always wanted and needed.
after all, when you’re drunk on power and fed by trauma, are you really going to listen to reason or do what you want because you finally have the ability to do so? of course you’re going to listen to the little voice that says to destroy and take it all for yourself!
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wisteriabookss · 3 years
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My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)
Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me. 
This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk. 
This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts. 
I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it. 
The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.
I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.
The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand. 
I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.
I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?
The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . .  chile um anyways let’s move on. 
I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).
Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.
However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes. 
Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.
Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit. 
Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word. 
For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.
There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).
Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing. 
Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.
Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.
Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away. 
Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.
I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.
That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.
All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot. 
I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.
Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.
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lady-star-strings · 3 years
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About Dream’s Tweets...
To begin with, I’m demisexual and have been part of the community for years - I think I have pretty good credence to speak on this matter. I try not to throw my two cents into situations like this because I can’t stand the ignorant responses of the internet anymore at my age - DeviantArt Dark Ages vet right here - but sometimes I just have to. Whether you agree or not, I could honestly care less, but I would appreciate it if you read everything and gave it some thought before responding, be it positive or negative. With that said, let’s dive in...
At this point, if people are taking the shipping/fanservice jokes and banter between the Dream Team and other creators surrounding them seriously, I don't know what to tell them or really even say, honestly. They've all stated they're not looking to start relationships with each other - multiple times and on-stream/Twitter, might I add, because people keep donating and asking/demanding an answer to both that and about their sexualities - and that it's just messing around with friends. (If we want to talk about making people uncomfortable and being offensive in that regard, don’t you worry because I've got opinions on that too.) Bottom line is, you can't get mad at them for the fan-service now when you supported it before, especially when nothing has changed and they’ve been transparent about how everything actually is.
I understand that some may feel it’s an insensitive and inappropriate thing to do in some regards, and that's perfectly valid, but please don't go mobbing through the town with pitchforks over literal jokes between friends. Keep in mind, they’ve made it clear that’s all it was before people starting jumping down their throats, and still there are groups using their sexuality to attack them over it because "YoU'rE nOt MlM sO yOu CaN't MaKe ThOsE jOkEs, YoU'rE hOmOpHoBiC!!!!!" They're even openly attacking lesbians and bisexuals - whether they agree with them or not - because they're not gay and that somehow renders their words “invalid.” You can't accuse them of being ignorant for messing around as friends because it entertains the fans, and then turn around to attack literally the entire rest of the community for offering their opinions because they aren't valid enough for you in the argument to count - that makes you ignorant. You also can’t claim to be of the opinion that everyone’s sexuality is their own business, but then demand for them not to be ambiguous about it when it pleases you. Honestly, even thinking about people doing that is so incredibly hypocritical that it gives me whiplash.
I completely understand not everyone is a fan of this behavior, but to accuse them of queerbaiting, being homophobic and faking allyship over it all right now is just ridiculous and borderline disgusting to me. They've made it clear they're not romantically interested in one another countless times and that it's just fun between friends because they're super close - they aren't playing the "Am I, or am I not?" game with anyone for gain so no, they're not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when it’s not explicitly said at any point whether someone is or isn’t LGBTQIA+ so they can play both the community and conservative side by putting them in ambiguous situations that can lean one way or the other for gain, whether it be monetary or otherwise. Not to mention, if they were really as “homophobic” and “falsely allied” as everyone thinks, why would other LGBTQIA+ creators such as Antfrost, Eret, Scott Major, etc. not only support them, but also consider them friends? Again, I get the offense and hurt people might have taken from this behavior, but your opinions and feelings are ultimately not universal so while they are all valid, that doesn't make them right and the final say on the matter. I don’t mean this to say you’re wrong or inferior in the argument, just that you can’t demand others to see your point of view and abide by it without granting them the same respect. The road goes both ways kiddos, I’m sorry. 
Side note, there's no one to blame but the fans themselves for the jokes and whatnot to have continued on this long because they not only supported it, but also actively encouraged it. It’s been taken so seriously that Dream has outright stated on a stream - and now on Twitter - that he and George aren't together and more than likely never will be because they're honest to goodness just really good friends screwing around. Now if you think you're uncomfortable as part of the community, how do you think they feel being accused every five minutes of being against it because they won’t openly state their sexuality? Not to mention, they can't ever talk about actual relationships or joke about other ships because people will literally send death threats to whoever the other party is because they're "rUiNiNg ThE sHiP" at this point - need I remind you of the Septiplier fiasco? It’s alright if it’s a persona or a personality, but for the love of all things holy, please stop treating people like Barbie dolls that you’re trying to make kiss. They gave us the go-ahead to ship them because it makes us happy and allows us to be creative with the concept - don’t ruin it by trying to force them to play the parts you’ve constructed in your head and then get pissy because they won’t.
Also, it is unbelievably messed up for you to donate money to ask their sexuality and/or for them to tell each other that they love them - which then basically makes it a demand because if they ignore it they get blasted for not responding and “taking their money.” For example, Dream will say he loves any of his friends without issue because he does - just not in the way everyone is assuming or wants - and that's just the type of person he is, but George doesn't like to express it that way and that's okay. He shows his love in other ways that we don't always need to know about or see to make it real, just as it is with anyone else in the world. I don’t know how so many people miss it, but when he gets a donation to tell Dream - or anyone for that matter - he loves him on stream, you can easily tell how uncomfortable it makes him - and yes Dream presses/teases him about it sometimes, but he still drops it and doesn't flame him for it for eternity. Those that donate and chat, on the other hand, will not let it go when he doesn’t say it and continue to pour donations in begging him to say it when he’s already made it clear he won’t. You honestly shouldn't be bribing them to say or do anything through donation because that's beyond messed up and manipulative, especially where these matters are concerned.
And even if they weren't straight - which used to be the case and may have changed by this time, we can’t determine such things nor should we try to - or were in a relationship with each other, it isn't any of your goddamn business to know - no way, no how. What they do offline and out of the public eye isn't anyone's business but their own and people need to respect that, not try to force it out of them or play detective to dox that information for the attention. I mean, if you want a good reason as to why Dream hasn't done a face reveal yet, this is absolutely number one on the list because there will be little to no form of privacy for him after he does and he isn't ready to lose that just yet. I certainly can’t blame him for that considering all that’s been happening to him and his friends as of late, and neither can multiple other creators who hold the same beliefs and fears - ie. CorpseHusband, H20Delirious, Ohmwrecker. No one should have to tip-toe on eggshells in their personal life because fans online don't understand boundaries, that's just cruel and unfair after providing the content and comfort that they do without asking anything but support in return.
At the end of the day, I truly just don't understand how people can join in and support the jokes that they've made clear are purely just messing around, but then turn around and crucify them for the exact same thing later down the road. How can you practically harass them about their sexuality and relationship status through providing monetary means, then go on a witch hunt because they’ve decided to be more private with that information in the present? You can't play both sides and then expect to somehow be right or justified in the situation whichever way the tide turns because, at that point, the only wrong one is you. I completely agree that they need to watch their step with what they say and do sometimes - just as everyone with a strong platform does - but only more so now because people will create a problem the second they do anything that could spin into them being horrible people with too much power.
They’re all still incredibly fresh and new to the realm of social media popularity all things considered, and they reached said popularity startlingly fast so it can’t be easy to adjust to all the attention on everything you say and do. With that said, they’re doing remarkably well so far and I have faith that they’re going to continue to learn and grow in this arena given the time. They might mess up and make mistakes - already have, in fact - but that’s part of the gig and you can’t always please or satisfy everyone, so the best you can do is acknowledge your faults and move forward. You can’t demand someone’s head on a pike when they’ve made an effort to right things and it wasn’t good enough for everyone, it’s just not a fair standard to hold anyone to. In that same vein, you also can’t demand whatever you want out of them with the excuse that they owe it to you as a fan - you’re not a fan in any way, shape or form when you play that card, and you need to either shape up or ship out if you're doing that.
If you don't support it and/or don't like it, just don't follow or watch them anymore, it’s truly as simple as that. You can't continue to watch and support them as a “fan” while also touting how ignorant and horrible they are as detractors, that's just not how it works - pick one or the other and stop attacking them and those that don’t agree with you. They’re only on year one of their careers and the amount of people trying to “cancel” and tear them down over things that really aren't issues already is ridiculous, you aren't the righteous keyboard warriors you think you are and it's things like this that are ruining the internet for everyone, not just you.
That’s all I have to say on the matter and will continue to say going forward - sorry if you came here looking for my usual nonsense, but I really felt this needed to be said and addressed. I usually try not to do these sort of rants, however, this is a serious matter and a discussion that we as a community have been needing to have for a while, so now’s as good a time as any.
So, with my peace being given and my two cents thoroughly tossed, why don’t we focus on the bigger issues with YouTube such as their blatant ignorance of pedophilia and copyright abuse? Those seem like a much bigger problems to address at this point in time since that effects creators and fans as a whole - both in the present and the future - don’t you think?
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allthesapphicstars · 3 years
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In the books it's Mrs Coulter who decides she doesn't want anything to do with baby Lyra after the scandal, that's why she's given to Lord Asriel, not the other way around. The show changed this (and her character) completely. After the trial Lord Asriel is declared unfit for parenting and Lyra is given to a nunnery, but he decides to 'kidnap' her and brings her to Jordan College. And it's not like Lord Asriel is not left crawling as well, he used to be as rich as a king, after Lyra he had to swallow his pride and go beg colleges for funding (even 12 years later), whereas Mrs. Coulter (now a widow and free) is given funding by the Magisterium itself, so again, in the books she does achieve what she wants, in unconventional ways maybe, but she has her own research department and is never seen as subordinate to any man, until book 3 at least. And most importantly, in the books she subdues to no man, let alone Boreal. He's literally her puppet in the books 😔
I think you raise some good points here. But I want to say that my post about Marisa and the patriarchy was very much my own opinion and interpretation of both the books and the show from my own perspective as a woman having lived the experiences I have. That being said I do think I should go through your points and explain my own reasoning behind my interpretation.
1) Who got to take care of Lyra.
I never actually said that Asriel didn't want anything to do with Lyra. I do believe that both of them, in their own ways, do love and care about Lyra. They're just not very good at it.
But in terms of who took care of Lyra after she was born that responsibility immediately fell to Asriel. And there are probably lots of reasons for this. But, for me, I don't think that it was ever really a consideration or much of an option for Mrs Coulter to do so because of the environment of their world.
Marisa was married and had an affair that produced a child. In their world, women are second class citizens in comparison to men and as such any power or financial security that she may have would have been derived from her position as a wife. And a wife to a powerful man. To be able to keep a child requires resources that she would have only been able to get through her husband.
We know that Mrs Coulter kept her affair and also her child a secret because it would have ruined her. But also, I don't think we should forget, that she kept Lyra a secret from her husband to protect her too. As when Mr Coulter found out about the affair and Lyra he went to Asriel's house to kill them both, but Asriel got there first.
If you consider this, then Marisa wasn't really given much of a choice about what to do with Lyra. If she'd taken care of her herself then it's likely that her husband would have banished her from his home and therefore stopped her access to any resources, or he would have killed the child. Neither of those options look particularly good if you ask me.
Asriel's decision to "kidnap" Lyra and get her to Jordan is, to me, an act of desperation to protect his child in the same vein as Marisa's decision to not care for her herself.
Don't forget, by this point Marisa has been marked as an adulterer and a widow and is a pariah to most of society. She's also no longer under the protection of a man which is why the magisterium don't allow her to take Lyra back into her custody but instead give her to the nunnery.
Neither of Lyra's parents have many options when it comes to custody because of the patriarchal structure of their world. (although I highly doubt Marisa would have been let off as lightly as Asriel was in terms of breaking the rules about Lyra)
2) Asriel also had to crawl his way back.
Yes. You're right, Asriel did have to work his way back up to respected by society again. But as you yourself pointed out, his main obstacle was the loss of his money.
Asriel still retains his title. His academic standing is relatively untouched. He may have to beg to get funding but so does pretty much everyone trying to get funding tbh. The college's still listen to what he has to say. His name carries weight.
Let's compare this to what Marisa lost in the scandal. Yes, she didn't lose all of her finances like Asriel. But with the death of Mr Coulter she lost the male presence that in their society allowed her access to so many places. Without a husband she doesn't have the same security that she did before. She also lost her reputation, which for a woman (and not just in their world) is detrimental in how she is treated.
When I say that Marisa had to claw her way back into society I really do mean it. She wasn't just struggling to get finances like Asriel, she was struggling to be listened to, to be respected, to have any form of control over her life that having power gives you. Their world is deeply misogynistic so anything that Asriel struggled to gain, Marisa would have had to work against the same odds but also factor in her gender setting her back deeply.
3) freedom
Honestly I can't agree with your statement that Marisa is more free compared to Asriel.
Ok, so yes, Marisa gets funding from the Magisterium but that is explicitly because she is doing research that they want doing (experimenting with the concept of removing sin by cutting children) that they don't want to be seen doing because it's barbaric. Her research funding comes directly from the fact that as a woman, who's a pariah and not a member of the church authority, if what they were doing was made public she's easily expendable. Someone that they can deny ever colluding with. And Marisa knows this. She knows how vulnerable her position within the church really is. That the power the church gives her is an illusion.
So she creates her own power through using what condemned her in the eyes of the church against them. Her ability to seduce. They view her as a wanton adulterer so she uses that fear of her sexuality to arouse and then manipulate the men in power.
But this doesn't mean she not seen as a subordinate to a man. She 100% is. She has to answer to the male heads of the church. And is expected to bow down to their will when they change their minds. She doesn't have this freedom to do what she wants with her research that you say because she always has to justify her actions to a man.
4) Boreal
Boreal is not her puppet. Yes, he does do what she wants but that's because of his attraction to her. He doesn't submit to her desires because he respects her. He definitely doesn't do it because he sees her as an equal.
Boreal does what Marisa wants because he thinks that as a man he has more power over her. He submits to her whims because he think that if he plays along with her wishes and appeases her, gives her the illusion of having control over him, he'll be more attractive to her. All of Boreal's motivations come from wanting to sleep with her. And actually I'd argue that even more than that, Boreal is a collector (and this is something that the show drew on in the last episode) he wants to be able to say that he triumphed by being the first man to fully get Mrs Coulter to submit. He wants to own her.
And Marisa is fully aware of this. And yes, whilst being aware of how one is being manipulated does give you some power over the person doing the manipulating, it still doesn't negate the fact that the entitlement to her as a person that Boreal expresses comes directly from how their society views women.
Marisa's sexuality is both a weapon and also a cage. And I'm not going to go further into that here because tbh it's like a whole post on it's own and this is already way too long. (and also it makes me sad and stressed to think about).
I did just want to add on though to your comment about book three being the first time Marisa submits herself to a man. As you can probably guess I don't agree with that assessment, she is constantly having to submit herself to men and you can tell that it wears her down even if she pretends she's above it.
But even if you don't see all of her interactions as reflecting this then the scenes I think your referencing to in book three really do reinforce that submission is not a new act she's had to play. When Marisa is in Asriel's fortress and talks about playing the demure and naive woman with the generals, and even with Asriel (yes I know he's aware that she's manipulating him but I also think he's not aware of just how much), shows that it's not a new concept to her. It's definitely something she's had to do before. And honestly I think it's something she's had to do her whole life.
To summarise: yes Mrs Coulter is a figure of power in the books and is a master manipulator. But that doesn't mean she isn't constantly struggling against a world that condemns her as inferior because she's a woman. She's judged harsher because of her sex.
And you can't forget we only get her point of view in book three, but throughout the series you can see how her being a woman holds her back from everything that she wants to achieve and I still believe that going up against those struggles is a direct impact on her actions and who she is as a person.
She's spent her whole life fighting. And I think there's something really tragic about that.
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bloodyspade0000 · 3 years
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30-day knb challenge: Day 1- Favorite Male character
↳ Haizaki Shougo
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I am not justifying Haizaki's behaviour. I think he needs a tall glass of respect woman juice and therapy. This is just meant to explain why he is my favourite character and help you better understand him as a character. Do not send hate or take my words out of context. You will be reported, deleted and cancelled. Thank you and enjoy. :)
My favourite character is Haizaki Shougo *dodges tomatoes* a lot of people in the fandom hate this guy for many reasons. It's kind of funny how many people hate him and the amount of hate he gets just for existing. Like bruh; he's sixteen, leave him alone. 😂
His whole existence is just sad. He was literally created to be hated.
Like straight up, Tadatoshi Fujimaki even admitted that he hated Haizaki. Haizaki's sole purpose of existing is to make the Generation of Miracles look better even though they’re just as problematic as he. No one is fucking perfect and is about time people woke the fuck up and realized it. Your faves are problematic move the fuck on.
Yes, the Miracles are redeemable but so is Haizaki. Yet, unlike the Miracles, he does not get redeemable. No, he disappears and is never seen again. Like bitch, what the fuck!? if you’re gonna introduce a character to only have them disappear for a long time and either have them show up again or just never mention them again. Wasting the potential they had to be a very good character or not having them redeem themselves while the other characters who were just as fucking problematic get a fucking redemption arc because they’re fucking main characters!? What’s the point of that character even existing in the first place? What kind of bullshit is that? Just to have them exist to make the main characters look good? How the fuck does that make sense? Like where is my Haizaki redemption arc? Do I have to write it on my own? I will write it. I am writing one.
Haizaki is the only character I could relate to. Being second best, struggling to find somewhere to fit in and overshadowed and replaced by someone everyone thinks is better than you. It's fucking depressing, okay? You spend your whole life thinking you’re not good enough, and it hurts. I don't feel like going too deep into it because I don't owe you a detailed explanation of my trauma, okay?. So I'll save that for my fics where I self-project half of it onto Haizaki. It’s a coping mechanism, okay? Therapy is fucking expensive.
The anime ruined his whole character, got rid of his whole arc and shorted it down, and made him worse than he really is.
A post explaining how the anime did him dirty and goes more in-depth about his character
I am not trying to justify his actions, i.e. him manhandling Alex and beating Himura up. He does terrible shit. We all do lousy shit sometimes, but that doesn't make us bad people. Making mistakes is a part of being human, and we're supposed to hold people accountable for their actions and help them realize what they’re doing is wrong, allowing them to grow and change. Not condemn them and ostracize them, which leads to isolation and a lot of psychological trauma and self-hatred, and as someone who has dealt with—is still dealing with all three. It is not fun. It makes living painful. Highly unrecommended.
Haizaki does not have a positive role model in his life nor anybody he can turn to, everyone has already given up on him. Even Nijimura and Kuroko didn’t even try to help him, being more focused on the Miracles. (Yes, I know kuroko tried to stop him from throwing his basketball shoes away, but that doesn’t fucking count because after that Kuroko just gave up on Haiazki too). Haizaki has probably grown grew up knowing only violence and not a single ounce of kindness, turning him into the bitter and angry little boy he is.
Haizaki had so much potential. But instead of making him a great villain that potential was WASTED on fucking Kise.
Also, the Kaijo vs Seirin match in the winter cup was completely useless because Kise already got redeemed and he literally got no character development from it.
And Seirin was gonna fucking win anyways because duh thier the main characters. 🙄
Now some headcanons I think about a lot:
1. He gets abused. Some psychological behavioural consequences of child abuse are unhealthy sexual practices and juvenile delinquency, and Haizaki exhibits all three which are some external behaviours of most (NOT ALL) male abuse victims. Haizaki's a womanizer, aggressive, hostile and violent. Yet, he backs down when someone stronger than him comes around and puts him in his place i.e. Aomine and Nijimura.
a factsheet explaining the long term consequences of child abuse and neglect
How to help a friend dealing with family abuse or neglect
How to Handle Abuse
2. He's a victim. And when you're a victim, you either become angry and cynical with everything and everyone around you, swearing never to be a victim again and struggle with gaining back control of your life. Not wanting anyone to see you being vulnerable because being vulnerable makes you weak. Being weak makes you shatter. You always shatter like glass, cutting yourself every time you pick up broken pieces, watching as blood trickles through your fingers.
Your body is constantly on high alert. The default is flight or fight—survival to the fittest.
Or you bite your lip and keep your head down, bottling everything inside and looking for escapes or seeking validation. You want to be wanted and loved because you struggle with loving and accepting yourself. There's always a voice in the back of your head telling you, you're not good enough or that it's your fault. That everything is your fault. Self-hatred and self-doubt are your tormentors.
Or it's a combination between both—a constant struggle.
And I believe Haizaki portrays both from the way he acts and presents himself. Especially since his motto is literally "Survival of the fittest,” and he had once told Kuroko, " there are bad guys and then the really scary people," or something along those lines, which I believe he is talking from experience. You learn from your experiences. They either make you or break you.
3. He's touch-starved.
What Does It Mean to Be Touch Starved?
4. He's bisexual and has a lot of internalized homophobia. I can just feel his internalized homophobia rolling off of him. Bruh, I just know cuz I am bisexual, and I have struggled with internalized homophobia and still sadly struggle with it cuz I grew up surrounded by homophobic people.
I still live with them. 😭
Also, we live in a society that thinks straight is the default.
What internalized homophobia is.
5. His sexual awakening was probably Aomine or Kise. Could be both 😂?
6. He cries himself to sleep every night.
7. He's observant and a great judge of character. It's a fact. This guy literally predicted the downfall of the Miracles. Straight up warned Kuroko too. Too bad Kuroko didn't listen to him.
8. He's hilarious. When he first appeared in the manga, he literally called Himura a loser, lol. XD
9. He's a closeted softie and a total tsundere.
10. doesn't know how to react to kindness and will think you're threatening him or will feel really awkward and uncomfortable but will cover it up with his scowl, or he'll have a breakdown.
11. needs a lot of reassurance and head pats
12. swears a lot. Has no filter.
13. His bother is in the yakuza or some high position of power, and he feels inferior to him. It also explains why Haizaki gets away with things because he would have been kicked out of school if his bother wasn't either-or. I'm talking about his bother being in the yakuza, lol. XD
14. He and Momoi dated for a while but broke up on a mutual understanding that thier relationship just didn't work out. They're best friends and hang out sometimes.
15. Haizaki's good with kids and just genuinely likes them. He would be a great father and try his best to raise his kids right.
16. He gets sick really easily
17. He's clingy
18. He has no friends, mainly because he doesn't want people to get close to him because he's afraid of getting hurt again. Also, everyone in knb hates him.
19. He watches cartoons cuz he was never allowed to watch them when he was a kid. His childhood is trash, okay?
20. He hides in the closet because that's where he feels safe the most—rhetorically and literally.
21. Sleep-deprived and only runs on caffeine and spite.
List of fics that portray Haizaki better than the anime:
Heavy is the head by extrastellar
Idle Hands by DarkWoods
Another Chance by regretting my username_ (777imou_offline367)
What Matters is that We're Together by StrawFairy
06:00:00 of Haizaki Shougo (4) by ReiClien
This Is Happening by SharkGirl
What is Love by voices_in_my_head
A completely uncalled catharsis by oddball
One-shots
intertwined, under a spell by kornevable
ԼƠƔƐ & ӇΛƬƐ by Arthuria_PenDragon
delirium by extrastellar
me with you by doublejoint
Turn My Camera On by wordsliketeeth
At Summer's End by doublejoint
Taste by Hibari1_san
I Can't Get Enough of You by HisDarkSecret
I don't care if it hurts by llowsywriter
Ashes by doublejoint
broken things by lowsywriter
Series:
Finally found each other by suzakukills
This Is Happening Universe by SharkGirl
DNA by flowerway
My WIPS:
Isn’t it lovely?
Broken Crown
Love me, Love me, Love me
Grey skies
Rabbit hole
A playlist of songs that I believe fit Haizaki
Kuroko’s basketball’s manga
In conclusion, You can hate Haizaki as much as you want. But just keep it to yourself. Haizaki is my baby and I will protect him with my life.
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heatherclowndler · 4 years
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An Open Letter To the Six Fandom
I'm gonna be real with you guys: I’m getting really tired of the moral superiority of some people in the Six fandom. Six is a barely historically accurate concert-musical where the queens fight about their trauma for an hour, but it’s about white women, so I guess that means that its #girlpower is so much more respectable than Hamilton being representation to POC.
If you think I'm not talking about you, I am, @historemix / @ghostheather . I’m fucking sick of your bullshit. How come every time you get called out for being a hypocritical bully, you have a little meltdown, say you'll be better, and then go back to the same bullshit as before?
Before I actually get into the reasons that you’re a hypocrite and a bully, I want to thank everyone that sent me the screenshots and testimonials used in this post. It’s good to know that multiple people are as fed up and disturbed by this behavior as I am, and it wouldn’t have been possible without you.
Anyways, back to the matter at hand. First and foremost, your obsession with being on a fucking high horse is embarrassing. Your self-congratulatory posts about the Six fandom being so much better than the Hamilton fandom is fucking laughable coming from you, and here's why.
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Before you get on about the Hamilton fandom being toxic, and the major reason why you can't fuck with the musical, remember that much of the fandom are people of color: most of whom are also minors. And they’re often the first to be driven out of it– not by harmless headcanons and fanfics or kids being "cringy”, but racist, toxic ass adults, colorism, whitewashing and constant harassment. Black fans, minors especially, would be the first to tell you this, since there’s been multiple incidents on Tumblr and Twitter where Black fans have been harassed, called slurs, etc. just for liking the musical, and that isn’t even getting into the amount of shit that’s been sent to the Black cast members for being a part of it. But clearly you haven't been fucking bothered to read the posts of how Black people in this fandom and in the cast have been treated, because maybe if you did, you’d be quiet and think before you start spouting shit, instead of constantly putting Hamilton’s name in your mouth to say shit that you think will give you woke points with the funnymen crowd.
Do you really think that the same bloggers that make fun of Hamilton would see any difference between those fans and you, the adult stanning a musical where Real Life Catherine of Aragon, a character played by a black woman, owned slaves, and was the person that introduced slavery into England is portrayed as a strong, feminist Queen? Or how Catherine Parr, a woman who was complicit in child molesation and later got upset with said child for being a victim of sexual abuse, is portrayed as the ultimate feminist and hero of the musical? Or is it okay for you to talk about how these child-molesting slaveowners were oh so admirable and honorable because you "respect the history,” whatever the fuck that means.
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Yes.. I'm sure white women from the 1500s would be so pleased about the fact that their history is being told by women that they thought were inferior to them based on the color of their skin.
Also sidenote, you may want to reconsider your definition of what is a respectable Six fan when you're writing a literal AU for your favorite dead queens. Sis, just say that you want to write Six fanfiction. There’s no shame in it– especially because the people that write Six fanfiction are more respectable than you are.
But speaking of history, you need to take off your clown mask and realize how ridiculous the notion that “respectable Six fans” are ones that have a genuine respect for Tudor history, because despite the fact that you say this, Six completely disregards the actual Tudor history.
Take the example of Boleyn. Anne Boleyn – a woman who was judicially murdered on false charges including incest with her brother, witchcraft, and adultery in part because she couldn’t give birth to a son and wouldn’t be a submissive wife to her husband – is reduced to a three minute comic relief song that makes light of her murder and states that yes, she actually was guilty of adultery, but she only flirted with those guys to make Henry jealous! Writing an entire song about a woman whose name has been dragged through the mud for nearly 500 years after she was murdered on false charges and then saying that she actually did do the thing that caused her to be executed is just peak #Feminism, am I right? And so is making light of her unjust execution by calling the song “Don’t Lose Your Head” and continuously making joking references to her being beheaded, I guess. Never mind the fact that Boleyn was reportedly near-suicidal and “ready to be done with life” by the time she was executed. Never mind the fact that the six fingers rumor – something that’s also repeated in the musical and presented as a fact – was started by Catholics attempting to quell people’s sympathies over Boleyn’s execution by attempting to make it seem like she actually was a witch and therefore deserved to die. None of that matters because Six is about feminism and it does the Queens justice, right?
And let’s not even get started on Catherine of Aragon. You know, the person who you've reblogged posts about that claim she was “a remarkable woman”, and that you’re apparently so sad about the fact that she died that you’ve made memorial posts about her knowing good and well that she was a garbage person who owned human beings? The same Catherine of Aragon that was reduced in the musical to only being angry that her husband cheated on her and wanted to divorce her, as well as bickering with Boleyn? The same Catherine of Aragon that also was reduced to constantly talking in the musical about how she was forced to move to a country where she didn’t know anyone? On that note, isn’t it funny how that works? Especially since she and her garbage family owned slaves, forced them to convert to Christianity and change their names to Spanish ones, and then forced them to come to England with Catherine when she moved there to marry Arthur Tudor!
All of the queens are dumbed down for the sake of the musical and it isn't until the very, VERY end of the musical that they all realize that fighting over who got the worse abuse from their husband is fucking stupid. And, even then, it’s still incredibly fucking problematic and gross because the Queen that makes them realize that the fight is stupid, and ultimately the Queen that’s praised for being the most feminist in the musical and by its creators, is the Queen that literally held her stepdaughter down while her husband molested her. If you’re really so damn upset about how much Hamilton and its creator glorify the Founders that it ruined your ability to enjoy the musical when that musical at least still acknowledges the fact that Presidents Washington, Jefferson and Madison owned slaves (and its creator acknowledging that none of the Founders were good people), why aren’t you upset about how Six portrays Catherine Parr and Catherine of Aragon as feminists when they were a child molester and a slave owner, respectively, and it's never acknowledged in the musical? Why isn’t your enjoyment of Six ruined by the fact that the Six creators praise Child Molester Parr and Slaveowner of Aragon for being strong feminists, or the Six Instagram calling Ferdinand and Isabella (you know, the people that committed genocide against Black people in Spain, had others tortured and executed for their race&religious beliefs, and literally caused Columbus’s colonization of the Americas [and by extension, the Transatlantic Slave Trade] to begin) a “power couple”?
The entire premise of Six is flawed, arguably even more so than Hamilton’s, because at least Hamilton actually did what it sets out to do throughout the entire musical, and not just the last five minutes. But even so, the basic plot idea remains– fictionalized (heavy emphasis on the fictionalized, Heather!) versions of real people fighting to tell their story. So, if the creators of Six cast aside historical accuracy for the sake of creating a diverse and modern take on the Queens’s lives and you eat it up as much as you do, why should we give a shit when Hamilton does the same thing? Since you love Six so much, you clearly fucking don't, because otherwise you’d be shitting on Six just as much as you like to shit on Hamilton. It really just goes to show how much of a hypocrite and a pick-me ass bitch you are, because the fact that you love Six makes it really obvious that you only care about hating Hamilton so much because it’s a stance that you think will give you more street cred with the Tumblr and Twitter crowds.
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^^ The absolute hypocrisy of you reblogging this when you regularly make posts and reblog posts of you and other people doing the same thing with Hamilton and its fandom. Embarrassing.
I'm saying this as someone who enjoys Six’s songs and also has common sense and brain cells– they're fictionalized versions of real people, and those real people were shitty. And that’s okay. But you need to stop embarrassing yourself and acting like you’re morally superior to people that enjoy Hamilton when your core arguments for enjoying Six literally could also be said for Hamilton, and your core arguments for hating Hamilton could be said (and would definitely apply better) to Six. I see you all the time making the argument about how important it is for Six fans to see an all-woman cast, do you think Hamilton fans of color can't make the argument that they feel it's important to see a cast with over 95% POC? How for those teens, it brought them into giving musicals a try in the first place (this is just one of many examples)? How Hamilton's overwhelming success brought jobs to so many actors of color, including helping some of them (most prominently, Daveed Diggs) make a stable enough income to give them a place to live and rest their head? When it paved the way for musicals like Six to gain popularity, too? Cognitive dissonance isn't a good fucking look on you, luv.
And don’t even try the "creator is problematic argument", bitch. You're all over Mean Girls, where the creator (Tina Fey) is shitty for a multitude of reasons, blackface and saying the n word included. Not to mention the Heathers musical, where the creators turn JD into a sympathetic villain and apologise for him when the director and writer of the original movie made it clear that JD wasn’t a character that people are supposed to sympathize with. It's a fucking joke that you go "I can't get behind a musical with a bad creator!" when you base your whole blog around a musical whose creator that's transphobic and antiblack, as well as a musical whose creators apologise for an attempted school shooter and use their musical to make him sympathetic. We know LMM is a piece of trash, but that doesn't give you the right to steamroll over fans (again, most of whom are minors of color) who just want to mind their business and enjoy a fucking show, like a pick-me ass theater kid you are.
And while we're talking about your hypocrisy, let's talk about your incessant harassment of a teenage Six fan for fucking months. You’ve instigated wave after wave of bullying towards a fan who was only 15 at the time when it started, for various reasons. I don’t give a fuck if you were just trying to “spread awareness” about their actions, or get them to change their ways, or whatever. You’re a grown ass fucking adult. If you see a minor in fandom – especially one that’s 3+ years younger than you – doing cringy/problematic stuff, let other minors be the ones to say something about it. Your harassment and creepy behavior around minors isn’t justified by the fact that you think that you’re doing something good.
This is just one of the many examples of you vaguing/posting about the teenage Six fan under the guise of trying to “spread awareness” about their reaction. This one is just fucking rude, especially because they’re a minor with ADHD/ADD that projects traits that they have onto fictional characters and vice versa. I’d expect you to know a lot about projecting onto characters and picking up traits from them, since you channel Heather Chandler and Regina George’s bitchiness and their consistent harassment of teenagers that they consider to be lesser than them into your internet persona and identity, am I right?
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The potential end result doesn’t justify the means; but clearly you think it does since you never say shit about this teenager getting harassed until you get called out for your complicity in it, say that you never sent them any asks, promise you’ll do better about the way you interact with minors in fandom, repeat.
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Not to mention the complete hypocrisy of this statement in the tags of one of the below posts– especially considering that you were the one that made it open season on this girl in the first place with your consistent vaguing about her and making joke posts about her with your friends when she was only fifteen. And on top of that, denying that you ever harassed Lizzie, claiming that your only crime was vague posting her – when you and your shitty friends posted memes about stuff that she had been doing and making it really clear in your vagues that it was about Lizzie. Just because you didn’t name her directly doesn’t mean that it wasn’t harassment, asshole.
Oh, and here you are, months earlier, admitting that you did cause her to get harassed and acknowledging that you named her? Interesting.
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The fact that you say that you have to take responsibility for it, but you never fucking do? [Narrator Voice] Heather would not take responsibility for that.
And let’s not forget how after almost driving the girl to the point of suicide and after getting called out multiple times for it, you promised to be a better person, before running to Twitter and continuing to vague about her. And in addition to that, you making memes and joke posts about Jay, the black teenager who was also bullied almost to the point of suicide for minding his own fucking business and making some fucking fanart and quirky headcanons, is fucking nasty. To further stick your nose up at him and go “not my fandom” at him for drawing Trans!Jefferson art when your Tumblr icon is Anne Boleyn with a lesbian flag behind it and your Twitter icon is the same thing with Katherine Howard... the joke writes itself. Do I have to repeat my point?
Not to mention the fact that you fucking lied in your apology on your viral post about him, because you said that you only became aware of the fact that he was a Black teenager that was harassed after the post whent viral.. when someone told you months before (in the replies to the above post) that he was a Black teenager that was harassed relentlessly for his fanart and asked you to leave Hamilton fans of color alone. But clearly you still stand by your point about Hamilton fans. Who’s surprised?
And then after receiving a 22-anon thread where anon presumably called you out on your hypocrisy of this, you still went to Twitter and started bitching about the fact that you were called out despite saying that you were deeply ashamed and that you would do better. Yet another example of Heather the Hypocrite, am I right or am I right?
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You really switch up from “I feel incredibly ashamed and I want to reassess where to go forward from here” on Tumblr to “I hate Tumblr purity culture” when you’re on the safety of your Twitter account like clockwork. And it’s awfully bold of you to mention Tumblr purity culture like you didn’t cause waves of harassment to be sent to a 15/16 year old girl to the point where she felt paranoid that someone was going to come to her house and attack her, and later make memes/joke posts about a Black minor who was harassed to the point where he tried to commit suicide and later had to get rid of his online presence altogether for his own safety.
Also, you posted the IP address of the anon who called you out, and tagged them as “asshole” on the website that you use to track IP addresses. But you genuinely felt ashamed, right? You wanted to change and reassess yourself, right? (The anon’s IP address has been blocked out by me to protect their privacy, because the person who sent in this screenshot didn’t black it out, either.)
And even then, aside from all that, your actions have caused multiple minors in the Six fandom to feel uncomfortable. Below are testimonials about your behavior, and how it’s made minors in the Six fandom feel. One of these is also a reply on a post that called out your behavior. (URLs and icons on both Tumblr and Discord are blacked out to protect their privacy.)
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Take in what these testimonials are saying. The fact that your behavior with harassing minors has grown so much that people are afraid to post in the Six tags and express their love for the musical because they don’t want to get harassed by you and your group of friends is concerning.
You, a grown adult, have made minors scared to be themselves and do things their way. You’ve created a culture of fear in a fandom where over 80% of its active fans are minors. You should have been leading by example, showing Six fans how the message of uplifting women should be implemented, but instead? You caused a floodgate of harassment to be sent to a then-15 year old girl that got so bad that she was suicidal and paranoid that people would come to her house, and it ended with even more minors afraid to post in the fandom’s tag because they’re afraid that you and your shitty friends will come for them, too. Shit, I was a follower for a while! I had only unfollowed due to your moral high horse, but it wasn't long before I was made aware about your history of bullshit.
You shouldn’t just be ashamed of yourself– you should be mortified with yourself. And your little friend group should be, too: not only because of their part in all of this, participating in harassing and making fun of that poor girl with you, but because of the fact that they keep enabling you to do this harmful shit by not properly shutting you down or calling you out. But it's not like you care anyways, because you’ve made fun of people voicing their concerns about your behavior and calling you out for making the fandom an unsafe space.
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"But I said I'm sorry-" Yeah, we know. We saw a series of half-assed “I'm sorry” posts, paired with you not taking real responsibility for any of the harm you’ve caused. And clearly you didn't actually mean anything you said, because you kept doing it again. And again, and again, and again.
By the way, Heather, the implication that you would be indicted for murder if Lizzie committed suicide despite never speaking to her isn’t just an implication: it’s a literal fact that people can be prosecuted for manslaughter/murder without ever laying a finger on the suicide victim. This includes cyberbullying.
It means nothing to admit you're a hypocrite and do nothing to improve, especially because you’ve said this same exact “apology” multiple times, almost word from word. You're a grown fucking adult that vicariously lives out her dream of being a highschool bully through Tumblr by harassing teenage girls on the internet, and it gives me secondhand embarrassment. Grow the fuck up already, Heather. You’re 20 years old.
You're always harping about how the Six fandom is becoming toxic and embarrassing without considering the fact that you’re one of the toxic ass adults that make children embarrassed and ashamed to be a part of their fandoms. Whenever they do something even slightly cringy, and not even genuinely problematic like some of the other shit in the Six fandom, you’re quick to be like “This isn’t respectable,” “The Six fandom is going to be the next Hamilton fandom,” or whatever the fuck else you say. Teenage girls calling Boleyn a gremlin and making headcanons about the queens siblings/children is not the end of the world, and the fact that you act like it is when you’ve actively created a culture of fear in a fandom that’s mostly made up of teenage girls is embarrassing and disgusting.
I don’t care about whatever apology or sob story you’re going to say after you see this post, because in the end, it’ll just be an empty promise as long as you stay on here. At best, you’ll say that you’re going to do better and leave Tumblr for what, a month? Only to bitch on your Twitter account for the entire month, then come back to Tumblr and do the same exact thing that I’m calling you out for.
You need to stay away from minors in fandom. As a matter of fact — stay out of fandoms that are mostly made up of minors as a whole. You’ve proven time and time again that you don’t care about the safety or feelings of minors, nor do you care about actually “improving” or reassessing yourself every time you get called out. The fact that you’ve been called out for the same things via being indirected on a Tumblr post (linked here), being sent multiple anons by different people (shown above), and being sent a 22-anon thread by one single person calling you out (stated by you above), and you still haven’t changed? Is all of the proof that I need that you won’t change.
That’s all I have to say to you.
People in the Six fandom, I’m heavily urging you not to continue giving this person a platform. I can’t force you to do anything, but you all deserve the right to know what’s been going on. Aside from her hypocrisy about Six, it’s historical figures, and its fandom as a whole, she’s been involved in harassing a minor to the point where she felt paranoid and wanted to leave the fandom on separate occasions, made jokes about another minor in a different fandom that was harassed to the point of attempting suicide on multiple occasions (then lying and claiming that she was never told he was a Black minor who was harassed after she was called out due to a post she made about him going viral when someone told her months before that he was all of those things in the notes of another post she made about him), and other minors have posted/stated that they feel her behavior went too fair, and that because of it they feel unsafe posting stuff in the fandom.
She’s been called out on her behavior on multiple different occasions, and each time she said that she would reassess her behavior and discuss how her actions were toxic. People have given her multiple chances, and each time, she’s gone back to the same toxic behavior and done the very things that she claimed she would stop doing. It’s getting ridiculous at this point, and her actions have gotten to the point where it seems like the only course of action is to call her out publicly.
Like Heather herself said, and I will now brilliantly quote because karma is a bitch: “If you keep making the same “mistake” MULTIPLE TIMES, people aren’t gonna be happy about it.” She isn’t exempt from criticism, especially when this stuff has happened multiple times and she hasn’t done anything to change her behavior. Listen to what she said, and hold her accountable.
Again, I can’t force you to do anything, but I hope that everyone in the Six fandom keeps what was said in this post in mind the next time they consider interacting with her or her content. Take care.
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yannfredericks · 3 years
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PLEASE talk about your polly backstory 👀
omg ty SO much for asking!!! 🥺 (and sorry for taking far too long to answer!!)
To me, polly shows obvious signs of being an only child with a massive inferiority complex instilled by her parents for not meeting their outrageous expectations, but I think that’s only if you’re specifically looking to understand why she is the way she is and not just writing her off as Pretty Popular Girl Is A Bitch :) This has gotten very long so I'll put it under a read more!
So in my mind, she’s not only an only child, but the only gryffindor in an all slytherin family. Her family were ~almost~ in the sacred 28 (which they pride themselves on) and only missed out due to the ‘unfortunate’ choice of partners a very select few of their ancestors made. They weren’t necessarily on Voldemort’s side, but I wouldn’t say that they were overly opposed either, I imagine they mostly kept themselves to themselves and skirted by by keeping up appearances and being friendly with, but not close enough to end up entangled with, pure blood extremist families. So not great people needless to say, quite cowardly too in all honesty for all their ambitions of being amongst the likes of the Malfoys. While this mostly concerns her grandparents, they raised her parents to have the same values and general outlook on life.
So then we come to Polly’s childhood. Her parents never really loved her unconditionally so much as loved the idea of her being the golden child to restore their name and carry on their legacy. Which was unfortunate when she failed to show any signs of magic for the first 9/10 years of her life. They didn’t have any real time for her being a child and mostly regarded her and expected her to behave like a little adult. She didn’t get to play or actually be a child really, she was usually left to her own devices outside of schooling and piano classes and was in many ways, raised by the family house elf Pipsey. Polly mostly saw her parents at the dinner table, for breakfast and supper and had the rest of the day to herself, mostly shut in her room with her piano (which, although reasonably good at it, she grew very quickly bored of). She had a very vivid imagination and grew bored of study and lessons easily. She wasn’t given any dolls but managed to make her own out of the clothes she grew out of, while they weren’t very pretty she loved them and could create stories out of the most mundane things since that was really all she had at her disposal. This carries on for the first 6/7 years of her life, she would create stories in her room for hours and was much closer with Pipsey than her parents knew, which meant that Pipsey was often involved in her (very limited) play time under Polly’s instruction. This lasted until she started homeschool.
She was expected to study every day from the day she started school as her parents demanded excellence, which is where the disappointment started but no where near where it ended. She was schooled in a group of other pure blood girls, the children of her family’s friends, which was where she first learnt how effective manipulation and humiliation was. Actually, that’s not quite true, the first person she learnt that from was her father, who seemed to find endless things about polly childish, unbecoming and disappointing. Her mother wasn’t much better, and the more time that passed without her showing any signs of magic, the more resigned and borderline hateful they became of her, calling her a squib and a ‘failed endeavour’, and unfortunately, as children often do, she started mimicking this behaviour around the other girls and found out very quickly how to get what she wanted. Whether that be to get a specific girl to be her best friend, another to be ignored by everyone, to get answers for the homework, to get out of the homework, or most importantly: frighten the girls out of ever bringing up the fact that she couldn’t do magic. She probably made threatening comments about being very powerful and not trusting herself to use magic around them to cover up the fact that she was coming up nine and a half and still hadn’t had a single instance of magic.
I don’t think she really understood how horrible her behaviour was then and likely thought this was normal behaviour bc the girls she was schooled with weren’t exactly nice either, and when that’s how people behave in your home and in your class/every aspect of your life you tend to make the assumption that that's just how everyone is. It made her feel good in the moment, having power over others often does have a certain appeal, however dark, but I imagine she spent a lot of time thinking about it at night and feeling awful but not being able to articulate why. I like to picture her having long chats with Pipsey and skirting around the subject, wanting to talk about it but being too afraid to find out what was making her feel this way.
Skip forward and her parents began to talk about replacing Pipsey, she’s old and a lot slower these days and far, far too indulgent with Polly. Polly, struggling to get her parents attention at the best of times, begs and begs them to keep her on, begs them to just get another elf to help alongside Pipsey instead of getting rid of her entirely, and when they refuse to listen and send her off to her room, she throws the tantrum to end all tantrums, screaming, crying, kicking, throwing things, all the behaviour she has been taught against suddenly comes tumbling out of her until they all realise that she's levitating their massive heavy wooden bookshelf up and up in a very menacing way over her parents.
It’s not her conscious intention to hurt them, but on a subconscious level it’s definitely her desire to make them feel the hurt, upset, and fear that they’ve made her feel, and I’d consider this the first time we see just how strongly she cares for the people she loves. It’s the fear of losing Pipsey that drives her to use magic for the first time. Her parents are OVERJOYED at this display of magic as they’d honestly almost completely given up on her and decide to keep Pipsey as a reward for her display. Not a great thing bc it instilled in her the idea that she can get whatever she wants if she throws a big enough tantrum and is threatening enough, but on the other hand it teaches her to always fight for what she feels is right so... plus Pipsey is so grateful to Polly for working so hard to keep her (as if Polly would /ever/ let anything stand between her and what she loves)
The magic doesn’t come easily after this though, it comes rarely and is quite difficult for her since she’s been raised to be so reserved and emotionless, but she’s felt it now and manages to achieve the barest of minimums from here on out. I don’t think magic is exclusively connected to emotional states or a persons openness but being closed off has definitely been to the detriment of Polly’s power. She’s got a renewed sense of self worth from the experience though and begins to feel once again like she might be able to make her parents proud.
She gets her Hogwarts letter and it is the happiest she’s ever been and it’s the closest they’ve ever felt like a real family. Everything is perfect until the moment she meets Yann Fredericks on the train and her world image starts to crumble.
Yann is easily the nicest person she's ever met and it's confusing and INFURIATING and she has no idea how to cope with it, but suddenly (and she doesn't know HOW) she has a friend and the sorting hat is on her head and she's in Gryffindor with this boy she's only known a few hours and her entire world is upside down.
That first night she creeps down into the Gryffindor common room because she's so confused and sick with anxiety that she can't sleep, only to find Yann down there too. He also can't sleep, but his reason is that he misses his mums and his sister Leah, and the combination of that mixed with his excitement for the years ahead means that he probably won't sleep for hours. They end up talking about anything and everything until they can't keep their eyes open, and although she's still more nervous than she's ever been, she's also made her first real friend. They end up having long, quiet chats in that corner almost every night for the rest of their time at Hogwarts.
She gathers the courage to write to her parents the next day and never receives a reply, which is a reply in itself, and she's absolutely devastated. Not to mention she's not managing any better with her magic, and seems to be just about the only one with this issue except for:
Albus Potter.
Her homeschool days come back to her and suddenly she's picking on Albus and pointing out all his flaws and the fact that he can hardly manage any magic it all and now no one even notices that she can't get her feather to levitate or a broom into her hands because they're all noticing that in Albus. It's not nice and it doesn't make her feel good, but it's a relief to not have to worry about herself when she's got everyone laughing at someone else's misfortune. And in doing so she makes another friend: Karl Jenkins! Who seems equally as keen to make jokes at the expense of others, and who introduces her and Yann to his friend Craig Bowker Jr.
I could go on and on but it's already taken me like, a year, to answer this!! and it gets a bit more just 'story' rather than 'backstory' from here so there you have it! I'm sorry for taking an absurd amount of time and for rambling so much and probably only making a small amount of sense but there you have it! I love Polly so much and I'm so excited for her to grow, mature and get the help that she needs to become the person that she's meant to be <3 Thank you thank you thank you for asking!! I am literally always down to talk about Polly, or any other member of the gang, and I will endeavour to do better than a year's turn around in future <3 love youuuuu
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fuhadeza · 4 years
Text
I think the fandom pretty much agrees that one of the most important things missing from season five was a moment between glimmer and catra about angella. and, I mean, I agree enough to have written a whole fic about it. but I stop short of calling it bad writing, because I think that’s unfair to the show as a whole. I don’t know if it was a deliberate decision or if there were some constraints on how serious they were allowed to get (or a bit of both), but I think glimmer and catra’s resolution is actually handled very well, in the same general way She-Ra handles most of its character development: through action and symbolism. (see here for an elaboration). so, without further ado:
why glimmer forgave catra, or: we spent four seasons inferring that catra and adora were in love, so let’s give the writers the benefit of the doubt and see what we can infer about catra and glimmer
first, let’s agree on one thing: catra did not kill angella. we can argue all we want about what exactly catra expected opening the portal to do, but “I’m going to kill the queen of bright moon!” is definitely not in the running. instead, let’s think of it this way: catra created a situation which indirectly led to angella’s death. she was an important part in the chain of cause-and-effect, but not the only part. angella made a choice, too. that’s important. 
this isn’t an excuse - what catra did was still very bad! but if you’re glimmer, specifically, I think the distinction matters very much. I don’t think glimmer could forgive someone who literally, directly, explicitly killed her mother.
moving on: let’s consider the season four finale first. what does glimmer see catra do here?
she sees catra at her lowest, and she hesitates. this isn’t the villain glimmer has been fighting - it’s a defeated, broken young woman. and maybe she thinks, for the first time, how did catra get here? what shaped her?
then catra is confused by glimmer’s attempts to stop the Heart. not only that - she actually gets up and follows her, and considering the state catra is in right now, that’s really significant. she’s not just confused, she’s curious.
and then they’re beamed up to prime’s ship and the next thing catra does is save glimmer’s life specifically and etheria generally. and, sure, she does it by ingratiating herself to an intergalactic tyrant, but...
... the next thing that happens is that glimmer has an awful lot of time to think. and I think she realises a few things about catra. she realises that catra must have grown up in an environment where mistakes were something you were punished for, not something you ever tried to make right yourself. she realises that catra’s position in the horde was always precarious, that she was doing exactly what she’s doing with horde prime now - and make no mistake, glimmer isn’t stupid. she sees the way catra acts during dinner. she sees how catra keeps coming back to talk to her. prime may have arbitrarily designated catra a guest and glimmer a prisoner, but I think glimmer gets it. catra’s clinging on every way she can, trying to survive any way she can. her position is no more secure than glimmer’s.
and then we get to Corridors, and glimmer knows that catra isn’t a fundamentally bad person. she saved glimmer’s life once. she kept her company. she brought her cake! and glimmer recognises that the actions are more real than the words: catra is going through the motions, threatening to leave adora to prime, repeating the things she’s been saying to herself ever since adora left... but what she really needs is someone to give her permission to be the kind of person glimmer is, the kind of person who tries to fix her mistakes. and glimmer gives her that, because she think it’s worth a shot: she thinks catra might listen, if someone just says, no matter how many bad decisions you’ve made in a row, it doesn’t make you any less worthy of making a good decision next.
so catra sacrifices herself to save adora (and by extension bow and entrapta, which catra has no reason to know about but which still counts for glimmer!), and in possibly the most on-brand thing she ever does, immediately clarifies that she’s not doing this for glimmer.
but like. come on. the cat doth protest too much. of course she’s doing it for glimmer, too, just a little: for the person who finally inspired her to do something good with her life. and I think glimmer gets that.
so at this point, they’ve formed a strange sort of connection & catra has done the big damn hero move, and it could end there with catra being lost forever. that’s a sort of closure for glimmer.
but I think at some point glimmer asks herself: can I imagine myself in catra’s position? opening that portal?
and I think the answer is absolutely yes.
at the start of the series, catra and glimmer fundamentally want the same thing: the power to protect the people they love. they both have inferiority complexes at various points in the series, and their arcs are both about acquiring more power & struggling with the consequences of that.
the difference, of course, is that glimmer grew up with a robust support system. when she tries to activate the Heart, it truly is with the best intentions. but now she knows catra better. she can try and put herself in catra’s (figurative) shoes. and she can imagine growing up in an environment with almost zero support. she can imagine the only bright spot in her life just up and leaving one day. glimmer saw all of that happen, but now she has insight into what it looked like from the other side. what shadow weaver defecting must have felt like. what it must have been like for shadow weaver to turn up again and torture her with the help of her worst enemy. (seriously, I feel like we don’t talk about that scene nearly enough). and glimmer thinks, if I was capable of ignoring all of my friends & their compassion & their genuine concerns out of a misguided attempt to protect everyone that ended up putting them and the whole world in mortal danger, even with all the advantages of my upbringing - what chance did catra have? of course she jumped at the opportunity to make it all stop, to finally make herself safe. glimmer does it to protect her friends and catra does it to protect herself - but, crucially, glimmer now has proof that, given the opportunity, catra is very capable of choosing to protect other people, too.
and those are the two parts of the puzzle, I think. glimmer understands, at least a little, why catra did the things she did - but that isn’t enough to forgive her. it’s enough to feel sorry for her, maybe, but not to forgive her. what she needs is to see catra confront those actions, recognise them as wrong, and try to make up for them.
and that’s what she gets on prime’s ship.
and she thinks, this is what I told her to do. this is what I’ve always been told: you screw up, you try to fix it. she’s only doing what I would do. and she doesn’t have to forgive catra, because no one can ever be forced to forgive. but glimmer is a compassionate person, an empathetic person, and I think, after all of that? she simply can’t blame catra anymore, because she sees too much of herself in her.
I think there’s a really important moment at the end of Corridors. when glimmer tells adora about catra saving her, she says “she said she wanted to do one good thing in her life”. not “I told her to do one good thing in her life”. glimmer doesn’t take that choice away from catra, because no matter what role glimmer played in it, it was still catra’s choice. that’s the important thing.
I could go on: 5x06 is also excellent for this, because we have catra both relapsing a bit but also reinforcing her commitment to doing things right this time. but by that point, I think glimmer has made her choice. she makes the choice at the end of 5x04, when she agrees with adora that they should rescue catra. everything that follows is really just vindicating her.
and, yeah, you might say “but none of this is in the show!” and it isn’t, at least not explicitly. but it’s there in the way catra and glimmer look at each other at the end of season 4. it’s there in every scene they share on prime’s ship, but especially in the way glimmer tries her best not to drive catra away, because she knows they both need the company. it’s there in the way bow and glimmer open the circle for catra at the end of 5x06. it’s there in the same way catra and adora’s love for each other was there throughout the show.
and maybe I wish catra and glimmer had gotten to (figuratively) kiss, too, to really solidify what the show had been doing implicitly. but I’m content that they didn’t, because I get it. I understand why glimmer forgives catra, and I’m happy to fill in the parts they couldn’t show on-screen myself. and I also understand why other people aren’t, but if you’ve read this far, I hope it helped with that, at least a little! (and also, thank you. this got longer than I expected.)
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kyouxa · 4 years
Text
Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Kino (Story 15)
@otomehonyaku​ and I decided to join forces to translate Kino’s CL route together! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆ She’ll be translating the main route (which I’ll be linking to in my masterpost), and I’ll translate the endings. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask both of us before translating this into another language too!
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Monologue
Led by Kino-kun, we were finally able to reach the church.
With momentum we hurried inside and shut the door while we all tried to catch our breath again.
Place: Church — Inside
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Shu: Of all places, why did you choose to come here?
Kino: They probably won’t think we came to the church Eve was originally sleeping in.
Yet I don’t know how much time we can earn with that though.
Yui: (Since the day I first woke up here, this is my second visit to the church)
(From here on, everything started. My encounter with Kino-kun etc…)
Subaru: It’s a good idea to hide, but it doesn’t make sense if there is no way to escape from here afterwards.
They might end up finding us here someday.
Yui: You’re right. We have to figure something out about this…
???: You have finally arrived here, Eve.
Yui: Eh!?
Kanato: Say, that voice just now…
Yui: Karlheinz-sama… !
Reiji: Father… why…
Kino: Karlheinz… that’s… my father…
Ayato: So all the shit that happened to us here was our father’s work after all!
Karlheinz: It was indeed me who created this miniature garden. There is no point in wondering about this matter any longer.
Apparently the outcoming of the current situation was rather an interesting one.
I wanted to be here directly, so I did not hesitate to come here instantly.
Subaru: You call that interesting… ? Don’t screw around saying bullshit!
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Yui: (I was already thinking of that. The identity of the mastermind behind all of this, the fact that he appeared here now一)
(Is Karlheinz-sama seriously the one who was confining all of us in this weird place?)
*Kino gets closer*
Kino: ...Father.
Yui: Ngh! Kino-kun!?
Subaru: Hey, don’t get that close. Who knows what he might do next!?
Karlheinz: ...You are…
Kino: I’m… Kino, father. I’m the zeroth son you have.
Do you remember? In the demon world’s hinterland… you abandoned me back then in Rotigenberg.
Laito: The demon world’s hinterland… ?
Ayato: You fucking old geezer, you left your own kid behind in such a place!?
Karlheinz: …..
Kino: Father! I’ve come this far already, I’m more worthy to own the throne than my brothers or the other guys!
Magical powers and wisdom, they are inferior. These guys would get your power even if they only behaved like spoiled children.
That’s why, I一 I want to be the successor of your powers…
Yui: (Kino-kun…)
Karlheinz: ...You, who are you?
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Yui: Eh… ?
Kino: Ngh…
Karlheinz: I only have six sons. I do not remember having a son like you.
Yui: ...Nn!
(T-That’s… is he saying this because Kino-kun was always just thinking of getting Karlheinz-sama’s powers一)
(No. I want Karlheinz-sama to acknowledge him regardless, we came this far together after all… but…)
Kino: What… right now, are you confused or something?
You were the one who abandoned me! We went to the hinterland of the demon world together, and you just left me there on my own!
And now you can’t just casually appear at such a place without any meaning behind it!!
Karlheinz: I see. Then you might have seen this in a vision.
Kino: Seriously… you’re denying all of it? ...My entire existence… ?
Subaru: Hey, no matter what that old man says, we have to…!
Reiji: Do not leave, stay here.
Subaru: Hah!? Why would I!?
Laito: Because of his magic… don’t you think we could get in trouble?
Yui: Nn, Kino-kun!?
(There is power gathering all around Kino-kun. I have never witnessed something like this before… !)
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Kino: Don’t screw with me… everybody always looked down on me… they despised me…
And they’ll continue, unless you finally recognize me!!
*Kino uses his power*
Yui: Kyaa!!
(He actually has such mighty magical powers!? He must have directly hit Karlheinz-sama with this… !)
Kanato: Father… !?
Shu: Don’t get closer… it’s not like this old man would give up so easily in the first place.
Karlheinz: You certainly have a good lineage. However, this level of magic can be easily dissipated.
Kino: Kch…
Karlheinz: Your power, it should be used like this.
*Karlheinz uses his power*
Kino: Ngh… !
Yui: (He dodged it… !)
Karlheinz: Your timing of going in defense is unexpectedly good. Normally, others would not be able to dodge this amount.
*Karlheinz attacks again*
Kino: Agh!?
Yui: Kino-kun!
(..... ! The ceiling is collapsing… and the roof tiles are...!)
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Subaru: Look out!
*Subaru pulls Yui*
Yui: Kyaa… !
Subaru: Hey, are you okay?
Yui: Ah, I’m okay… but…
(The church starts to crumble everywhere now because of the amount of magic he used. If this continues, the entire building…)
(And Kino-kun… !)
Kino: Haa… Haa…
Karlheinz: It seems as if your breath starts to rise. Will the life force which kept you going until now, run out of you here?
*Karlheinz attacks again*
Kino: Aghhhhhh!
Yui: Nn, Kino-kun!!
Kino: Kch… you seriously want to end it… in such a place… ?
Karlheinz: It is… truly impressive that you are still able to stand while being hit with magic like this.
Kino: Of course… I’m still the one who’s going to inherit your powers at the end…
After all of this, I can’t die anymore…
Karlheinz: I see… Hmph, Fufufu.
Yui: Karlheinz-sama… ?
Karlheinz: It is truly unexpected that you bear such strength within you. If so, I might talk about it.
I certainly have paid a visit to Rotigenberg.
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Yui: Eh!
Kino: ….. ! T-Then…
Karlheinz: But you are undoubtedly not an heir to my power.
Kino: ...Huh.... ?
Karlheinz: If you certainly do have a reason to be in this place, then it is…
That you are the foundation for a new king to be born.
Kino: The foundation for the king… ?
Karlheinz: One of my dear six sons, one of them may eventually become the new king.
I stimulate a good development for its growth in you, that is the meaning of your entire existence.
Yui: Huh… ?
Kino: Wait… I was supposed to just be a stepladder…?
I was born and abandoned for that reason…? I’ve come so far for this… ?
Karlheinz: Yes, that is correct.
Kino: What’s all of this… I’ve always lived for such a useless reason… ?
The reason I was alive until now… was to be used by someone else… ?
Yui: That’s terrible… to say such a thing… that’s just horrible!
If you really abandoned Kino-kun for exactly that reason一
Do you even have the slightest idea of how Kino-kun felt and lived his life until now!?
Karlheinz: I do not need to know.
Yui: (..... ! He’s activating his powers… !)
Shu: That old man is probably going to hit Kino with all the magic he has. It might be too powerful for him to handle…
Yui: Nn, such… !!
Choices
1) Shout at Kino (black)
2) Help him (white) ♡ ♡ ♡
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— Shout at Kino
Yui: Kino-kun, run away!
Kino: I… until now, for what reason…
Yui: (It doesn’t help… he’s totally losing himself because of this!)
Please, Kino-kun… !
— Help him ♡
Kino: I was… always just a stepladder for these guys…
Yui: (As things are now, Kino-kun… !)
Shu: Hey, you! Where do you think you’re going!?
Yui: I’m going to help Kino-kun!
Shu: Stop that, it wouldn’t make any sense for you to get involved in this.
Yui: Nn…
(I know. I know that, but… !)
Kino-kun… please! Run away from this!
Please… I beg you… !
Karlheinz: Give it up. You have already lost the energy to move anyway. A mere foundation stone should at least fullify its function.
— Your Status (white)
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Place: Church — Inside
Yui: You’re wrong! Kino-kun is not a cornerstone for anything!
Kino: ...Nn
Yui: Kino-kun never wanted anything else than you to acknowledge him.
He just wanted to be recognized by someone that he truly exists...
And at the end you just trample on him!?
Karlheinz: I was simply stating the truth about this matter.
Yui: No… you’re wrong. That’s not true at all. For me, Kino-kun’s一
He’s the most important person to me!!
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Kino: ...Ah…
Subaru: You…
Yui: He’s not a foundation stone. Kino-kun is allowed to live his own life like he desires to!
I want to cuddle together with him. I want to be with him forever, and I won’t deny my feelings for him anymore!
If you continue hurting the one I love, even if it’s you一 I won’t forgive you.
Karlheinz: ...These wonderful eyes, I always wanted to see them.
You are truly stunning 一 Eve
Yui: Eh… ?
Monologue
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With a gentle smile on his face, Karlheinz-sama turned his magical hand on me.
A mighty magical power now merciless came toward me.
I knew I couldn’t avoid this outcome.
Place: Church — Inside
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Yui: (A tremendous power is approaching me. But I can’t move… I can’t do anything any longer)
(I’m so sorry, Kino-kun. I wanted to help you so bad, yet I couldn’t do anything to save you)
(...I’m so sorry…)
Kino: Stop!!
*Kino protects them*
Yui: (Eh…?)
Kino: Haa… Haa…
Yui: ….. ! Kino-kun!?
Shu: You… protected us….
Karlheinz: Hmph... and here I thought I already broke your will and you fell into despair…
I would have never expected you to protect my sons and Eve.
This is the true work of someone no better than a foundation.
Yui: Nn, and you’re still saying this… !
Kino: ...All I ever wanted, speaking of that….
Yui: Kino-kun… ?
Kino: I’m the one who has literally lived the meaning of being born… I’ve searched for a reason to exist for so long.
Even if you say that I’m just a stepping stone for others, I’ll find my very own significance on my own!
I want to let others know that I’m glad for my existence… I’ll also proof this to my stupid brothers!
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Kino: I want to prove myself to my princess, who has been so stupidly friendly with me all the time!
It doesn’t matter to me if I’m mortal…
Because I can do whatever I want to with my existence!!
*Kino attacks him*
Karlheinz: ….. !
Yui: (Did he hit Karlheinz-sama… !?)
Karlheinz: I understand. Those words you said…
Kino: ... Haa… Haa… Kch
*Kino falls down*
Yui: Kino-kun!
Hang in there, Kino-kun!
(He is… completely tattered already…)
...Karlheinz-sama. I won’t forgive you if you do any more harm to Kino-kun than you already did…
Karlheinz: ...This is truly beautiful. I feel the swell of emotions escaping your lips.
What pushed you so far to show your emotions, is it him?
Yui: That’s right, it’s Kino-kun. Without him, I would’ve never experienced these feelings…
(Exactly. I’m talking about Kino-kun here…)
(I’ve always unexpectedly loved him一)
Karlheinz: After all, the intervention was correct. I saw a lot of good things.
Eve. This is a sincere congratulation to what you have sprouted一
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Yui: (...He disappeared…)
Kino: Ngh… Kch…
Yui: ….. ! Kino-kun!
Please, hang in there!
(He’s terribly sweating… and the bleeding doesn’t stop. He won’t open his eyes anymore either… Nn)
Uhh… Uhhh… Kino-kun… please… don’t die on me…
Don’t leave me alone… Kino-kun.
Kino: What are you crying for… Yui?
Yui: (Nn… Kino-kun… right now… he said my name…)
Kino: I won’t just die… in this state...
Yui: Tell me, why did you protect us… ?
Kino: Why, you ask… my body, it just moved on its own without my notice… even I… don’t understand why.
Ahh… that’s right… a certain someone, was just too noisy…
Brothers, my brothers…
I just wanted everyone to acknowledge me, to affirm my existence…
For that reason… I wanted his power…
I only wanted to show… my cheeky brothers what really I’m capable of.
The soft touch of such a noisy woman like you… to think that this would satisfy me right now.
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Yui: Kino-kun…
Thank you for protecting us…
Kino-kun, I… I love you… I really do love you…
Kino: Overall… that means… in the end, I did achieve something…
With this… I’m fully satisfied… with the… outcome…
*Kino dies*
Yui: Kino-kun?
Hey… you’re joking, right? Please open your eyes…
(After I finally realized my feelings. I still had a lot more to say to you…)
Kino-kun...
Kino… kun...
Monologue
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At the end I couldn’t get another word out of his mouth.
Still, I wanted to convey it, and gently pressed my own on Kino-kun’s lips who was fully covered in blood.
I waited for his body temperature to rise, as I started to feel something transmitting.
一 But it wasn’t Kino-kun who responded to my touch, it was a violent vibration and a  dazzling light which shook the area.
Place: Church — Inside
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Yui: ...Is the church shining?
Uwahhhh!
↳ Euphoria END
— Your Status (black)
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Place: Church — Inside
Yui: Why do you want to take someone’s life like that? You can’t just do things as you desire!
Please, stop it already, Karlheinz-sama!!
Karlheinz: ...You wish for me to stop? How utterly pathetic.
If I do as you say, I will never reach the world I want to create.
Yui: Eh… ?
Karlheinz: Unfortunately this outcome seems like a total failure. I have to end up erasing everything here.
Monologue
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Karlheinz-sama’s hand, which had accumulated magical power, was suddenly turned toward us.
A mighty magical power was now mercilessly coming toward us.
In such an unexpected situation, we could not do much other than be surprised.
Place: Church — Inside
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Yui: (Karlheinz-sama is walking towards us… and he’s reaching for Ayato-kun…)
(Can’t I somehow stop this entire progress!?)
Karlheinz: Eve, and my dear sons. This is part of your true life.
Shu: Tch… !
Yui: (If this continues, everyone… that’s horrible… such一)
Stop it!!
*Yui protects them*
Yui: Ahh… Ughh…
Kino: Ngh… what...
Yui: (Huh, what happened?)
Ayato: Are you dumb!? Why would you jump right in front of this man!?
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Subaru: Hey, hang in there!!
Yui: Ayato-kun… everyone…
(I was able to… protect them. That’s good… I could prevent them from getting hit by his magical power all on my own…)
Kino: What are you doing!? Why did you go and protect them!?
*Yui’s eyes close*
Yui: Kino… kun…
(At the end, this is all I could do for you. I’m glad I was able… to protect everyone)
Monologue
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Karlheinz-sama probably had to make adjustments based on this unexpected experience. But my body has served its purpose, I could finally protect those I love.
I’m more than grateful that I was able to do this now.
I can now slowly feel the blood flowing out of my fallen body.
The feeling in my limbs is completely lost, my vision becomes darker and my consciousness is at its end.
For my very end, I wanted to see Kino-kun one last time一
But I wasn’t able to see anything anymore.
Place: Church — Inside
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Kino: You’re kidding, right? … Why…
Why, why did you do that!? Yui!
Yui: …..
Kino: I won’t… accept this… I won’t… allow this…
Aghhhhhhhhh
↳ Labyrinth END
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115 notes · View notes
euaxel · 3 years
Text
heyyy, eonia. i’m reid, i’m twenty-three, still can’t read, and all i know about pjo is that it fucking rocks and the protag has the same learning disabilities that i do! also, i picked hypnos for this punk mainly to be mean to him and because in the hades game hypnos bullies me every time i die and i’m kiiiinda into it. hmu on discord one on one for the best plotting experience, but i’ll be around plenty to bug y’all in the gc too. you can read about bastard boy number one right here and under the cut we’ll get down to business. 
⟨ ELLIOT FLETCHER. TRANS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AXEL EVERETT is actually a descendent of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-TWO year old VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT & COMBAT TACTICS MAJOR from BROOKLYN, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite WITTY & SELF-DEPRICATING.
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be advised, axel’s a pretty heavy character.  i’m gonna keep it brief for the bio & need-to-knows, tag around the parts with bold applicable triggers so you can skip around as needed, and tag this post accordingly, but just let me know if i miss anything and i’ll fix it & be safe reading. godspeed and i apologize in advance for bringing you all my personal punching bag as my first muse. 
the main triggers that are gonna come up are: parental abuse, alcoholism * major, mentions of bullying, drowning * major, religious trauma, and drug abuse with some harder drugs ( particularly, weed, pills and cocaine / nothing with needles. )
general stats. 
— full name ,  axel harley everett.  — nicknames/alias ,  axe, ax, wolverine jr, tyler durden jr, trouble, Who? - every professor he’s ever had. — house,  hypnos and mad about it.  — age, 22, as of today. also mad about it.  — gender,  trans male.    — pronouns,  he/him.  — sexual orientation, bisexual with a somewhat heavy masc lean.  — d.o.b, january 1st, 1999. ( generally unknown to anyone but maybe siblings, he will probably lie and say Nobody Knows... I Just Am unless he really fucks with you. ) — hometown,
phys. 
— height,  5′0ft even. furious about it. — eyes,  brown. — hair, brown.  — face claim, elliot fletcher.
misc.
— zodiac,  capricorn. — alignment,  chaotic good. — character inspo,  lip gallagher, steve rogers ( young ), ellie from tlou1, logan howlett, stiles stilinski ( if anyone says shit i will scream ), probably someone from euphoria but i’m too scared to watch that, peter parker ( andrew garfield ), shinsou hitoshi, finn mertens, marceline the vampire queen, dipper pines, this is all over the place but it’s there.  — most played spotify songs, passion for publication by anarbor, sober haha jk unless by hospital bracelet, nobody by mitski, class of 2013 by mitski, king princess’ cover of monster from adventure time, way too much phoebe bridgers, in love or whatever by future teens, and the entire front bottoms discography but especially in sickness & in flames with the hard way & bus beat well at the top of his loop.  — aesthetics,   bloody knuckles, left open and tipped over prescription bottles, walking on the carpet with socks to get that tingly feeling, skateboarding inside, dozing off at the bar, tangled legs in messy sheets, ten pillows on a twin sized mattress, laying down in the shower, brian sella’s cracky singing voice. 
bio. 
— axel was born and raised in brooklyn, new york, and he was claimed at thirteen, on his thirteenth birthday, by hypnos. — the day he was claimed, axel ceased contact with his human mother and his step-dad, and he attended a camp for half-bloods that wasn’t far from home. he spent his adolescence there year round for safety from monsters at home and abroad, then moved on to eonia.  — ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw begin ) i don’t want to be too graphic here so i’m going to plainly say that axel’s mother was a very, very bad person, and the man she married was absent at his best, physically abusive at worst. axel’s powers (  hypnokinesis, namely )  were potent and difficult to control at a young age, and as a deeply religious catholic woman, this scared his mother and influenced most of the animosity in their relationship. she was convinced that the defensive visions he created and his ability to put her to sleep ( an attempt to help her, on his end; insomnia plagued her and later, it would him, too ) were of demonic origin, and tried to drown him more than once; cleansing, she claimed. the worst instance was the day he was claimed, actually — new years day, 2012; his life was saved by hypnos, and that was the last he saw of her.   ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw end. )  —  that said, he’s a little ( very ) hydrophobic. poseidon kids do NOT fucking interact ( i’m kidding. kind of. he Will avoid a little though ) —  anyway! moving on. all of this aside, axel did his best to put his past behind him, and he was actually super stoked to learn that his powers came from somewhere good and that there was places out there for kids like him; to learn he wasn’t any kind of monster. ( still working on believing that, though.. marcelines monster.mp3 right here )  — he’s less stoked when he starts having trouble falling asleep, and really, it feels like a more cruel twist than any other fate has thrown at him ( his upbringing was chock full of mean twists, so that’s saying something ); and really, it’s more like insomnia just full on kicks in, but he can put other people to sleep. great, right? whatever, though — combat classes are kickass and he’s surrounded by babes that think he’s hilarious so things could be totally, way worse.  — ( bullying tw (brief) ) for the most part, axel was pretty well liked among his peers. he was bullied as a young kid (pre-claim), but he bit back and he bit back hard, and sure, some of that followed him into his teen years but he’s more confident by then; less fun to poke at, and absolutely unhinged when provoked, so people learn better of it. the only real lasting effect was one instant that hit him a little too deep in the inferiority, when he was seventeen — he fell in love with a girl, told her that, and found himself at the end of a very mean spirited prank. he shook it off like he did anything else, or at least — he told himself he did, even if the hurt hit him somewhere a little too deep rooted ( ie. being god’s most unlovable son would naturally land him here, right? ) love’s kinda stupid anyways, so what the hell, right?  (bullying tw end.)
— ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw begin ) this is already obscenely long so i’m just going to keep it to the point here and say he began drinking when he was sneaking booze in to camp at fifteen, and it just never stopped there. he’s also a massive stoner, which is all well, harmless and good for the most part; he’s always grinning, half-lidded, and has a room full of smoke at any given time. it’s the pills that do him in, and he did them at first just so he could get some shut eye, and... well. after that, because he’s dependent on them. but he keeps this part under wraps for the most part; it doesn’t have to be anyone’s problem but his, and it’s not a problem until it is one. partying’s fun, so is coke; so is taking a few too many xan’s, mdma.   ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw end )
FUN FACTS!!! 
— i swear he is not as doom and gloom as he sounds from the bio, and yeah, writing that made me so sad i feel like we absolutely must hone in on the fun and cute things about him!?!  — he loves dnd. he can talk about it for HOURS and if you let him, he absolutely will. — adventure time makes him cry. he’s a baby don’t let him fool you.  — very into cryptids, aliens, horror stories, conspiracy theories, in love with ryan from watcher, wanna be shane medej.  — he loves to draw! the one thing he loves about his power is what it’s done for his imagination, and sure, he mostly draws horror things, but it’s why he went into video game development. he wants to be a concept artist.  — his double major is in combat tactics because he loves fighting. he thinks it’s so fun. he’s a little nuts, actually — i mean, get hit in the face and come up grinning. all he’s ever wanted is to run a fight club and be the shortest, baddest little bitch on the planet.  — he tends to nod off in weird places because he doesn’t sleep enough at night, which is sad, but; he can seriously fall asleep anywhere. standing up, in a tree, you name it.  — he’s a hobby musician! he loves singing and playing guitar.  — he’s a huge flirt.  — loves to scare people. he’s harmless, though. like, honestly. he might make you think you’re seeing a walking toadstool but he’ll probably apologize later.  — he’s very much a singing in the shower type?  — clothes thief. friends and significant others beware.  — actually, just kind of a thief? but of weird, little things. like, just the left shoe. puts them in a little corner in his room that he has set up like an exhibit. “things you thought you lost lol” is written on the whiteboard on the wall above it. he likes collecting rocks too. he’s a little freak!!  — he’s better at the memory retrieval part of his power than the rest. naturally, as this mostly applies for other people. 
WANTED CONNECTIONS. im literally so tired of hearing myself talk... 
friends/squad. self explanatory!!!  he’s friendly, a class clown, and a loyal friend through and through; he’s also adaptable, and his demeanor is very relaxed and inviting. he’s probably gonna have 2-3 people that he’s really close with, and he’d do quite literally anything for them. seriously, don’t tempt him.  a best friend.  so this is kind of vague but. i’d really love for him to have one person that is just a tier above the rest? they’d know things about him that are like pulling teeth to find out ( aka, anything deeper than his most recommended podcasts and loudmouth opinions on non important things ), someone who will call him on his shit, and maybe take care of his stupid little self when he gets too fucked up, because they’d be someone he trusts enough to let them.   enemies?    he probably gets along with most people until given a reason not to? but he is a loud mouth and if one of his friends gets into drama, he will stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and he will throw hands, so it could happen.
harmless rivalries. maybe even steamy ones. he’s a little shit and he likes banter so, so, so much? if given the opportunity and if someone rubs him a certain type of way, he’s so not above being a menace, although never super maliciously. just, you know, annoying the shit out of them on purpose, for fun. he’s also not above blowing a few kisses their way.
current hookups. self explanatory too. he’s a little harlot. HFBHVFNJ. it’s gonna be kinda hard to go beyond sex with him because he’s very deep in his own insecurity but he does catch feelings, he’s just mad about it when he does. i’m mostly gonna go off chem for that though! an ex. could be on friendly terms? but, it should be noted that he could’ve ghosted someone too; or pulled from the relationship when things got serious and he couldn’t choke out that ‘i love you’, even if he felt it. worse, if he did choke it out, but they didn’t feel the same way.  siblings. hypnos kids he is gonna be so protective of all of u... family is hard for axel, i’m ngl, but he really wants one is the tragedy of it all, i guess? so he just really wants to be a good brother. he thinks hypnos is kind of a dick for making him but he tries not to fault him for his existence. fuck u dad i dont wanna be alive feels a little unfair. HDBHFDSJ. anyways he’s a good brother even if he is absolutely so reckless and terrifying in regards to himself but his siblings. his siblings he will do anything for. ALSO!!! FOUND FAMILY!!!! it would be kinda nice if he bonded with someone a little older maybe, could be outside of the hypnos house even, someone he’s kind of a bratty-little-brother type with.... or bratty older brother that takes your things and makes you laugh, y’know. 
PERSONALITY.  just tacking this part of the app on at the end too to highlight parts that i think are important for understanding who he is, and just so it’s all in one place!
toothy grins, half-lidded eyes, and keepin’ them laughing is what it’s all about, baby. axel walks with more confidence in his posture than he’s earned ( or claimed, for that matter ), and it’s the backbone of what gets him by. he’s a glowing example of the fake it ‘til you make it mentality, and he knows what he wants, usually how to get it, and doesn’t mind letting you know that. there’s an ever present mischievous glint in his eyes that says more about what to expect from him than he does, and that’s still not much? he likes to have fun, and there isn’t a whole lot of regard for righteousness or responsibility on his end, but hey! it’s usually only ever at his own expense, so what’s the damage? he’s an absolute clown and he knows it.
axel loves people. he does — you might not guess that with how elusive he is, but it’s true. there’s nothing he likes more than a good conversation with someone interesting, or maybe not even then; if there’s a sparkle in you, he’ll see it. ( might even draw it, not that you’d ever know. ) he’s warm, loyal, compassionate, relaxed, and understanding; and none of that is at the cost of being passive, or lacking passion. 
as long as the vibes are right, he’s happy to just be; though, he’s known to have a fuse for certain provocations, and will jump readily at chance to fight in someone else’s honor. also, it’s not unlike him to spar for the sake of sparring; but that’s all in good fun, no worries.
there’s no way to sugarcoat it — axel has an inferiority complex. where that stems from is something he’s more self-aware of than he’s willing to admit, but he doesn’t have the patience or the will to dissect it; much less do anything about it, and he’s as bull-headed as they come — especially regarding anything related to the psyche. how much this impacts his demeanor and relationships with others varies on the situation, but one constant is that he’s going to retreat before things get bad; even if ‘things are getting bad’ exists only as his own paranoia-born hypothetical.
things can’t go bad if you don’t let them, and he’s content to keep it that way; even if it means being stuck in the stasis of missed opportunities. it’s when he’s retreating into himself that he can get irritable, anxious, jumpy; secretive, defensive, even. he’s personable until he isn’t, essentially.
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thebonggirll · 4 years
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Chapter 15 - Obstacle Race
Chapter 14
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Everyone could hear the overexcited voice of Present Mic. As soon as they entered the arena, the crowd cheered harder than before and surely the whole stadium was packed.
"Man, I've never seen this much crowd before for the first years....kinda makes me nervous." Y/N said, "What if I get distracted?"
"...Seriously, can you be positive about yourself for once?" Kyoka commented, "Although, it is actually a bit scary to see this many people. It's like they are gonna be judging us for every single thing we do."
"Well..that's what they're here for though. To judge us and scout us." Y/N replied, "But it feels like they are expecting more after the villain news."
"Yeah..also, the media will concentrate more on you if they find out about you."
"They already know about me. That's the thing. They'll judge me more than anyone else. Probably tell me I'm not suitable for this course or something." Y/N said as they stood in front of Midnight who was the Chief Umpire for the year. Judging by the expressions of the students as well as the crowd, pretty much everyone was focusing on her costume. Not that anyone can blame her, she was a charming lady.
Kirishima said, a blush covering his face, "Uhh someone should talk to Ms. Midnight about what she's wearing."
Kaminari, who was also known as a bit of a pervert and came up with ideas along with Mineta nodded his head in approval and said, "Yeah, that costume should come with a warning."
Y/N looked at Kyoka who had a neutral expression. They spent a lot of time together, so one thing they both knew about each other is that neither of them were comfortable about their own bodies. Well, most people are insecure about something involving their appearance, even though some look confident, there's always something. But with Kyoka, Y/N felt that she can finally talk about it, instead of suppressing it like she did before.
And the girls in their whole section was, no doubt in it, absolutely gorgeous. Something that made Y/N feel a bit insecure about herself.
"Silence everyone!" Midnight yelled, "And for the student pledge we have Katsuki Bakugou!"
"Uhh.." Midoriya looked at him nervously, "He's the first year rep?"
And as expected, Y/N did have a small smile on her face.
"Can you be more obvious?" She heard Kyoka say.
"I can. You haven't seen me fawn over someone yet." She whispered. "Also shut up."
"I guess that hot head did finish first in the entrance test." Sero said, followed by a sigh and a girl from General Studies complaining, "Only for the hero course exam."
It pissed Y/N off, "Save some of your bitterness for the competition, you're gonna need it."
"Hey! Why would you say that?! They already hate us!" Kaminari shouted from the front.
"Exactly." Y/N said, "Other than their inferiority complex they have literally no reason to hate us. Why blame us for being in the hero course? If they want the position, they gotta prove that they deserve to be in this position. But first of all, they failed and second of all, they blame us for it? Fuck them dude. Why exactly do they expect us to respect them when they have been treating us like this?" She then turned to the other classes and said, "Learn to earn your damn respect instead of whining and complaining about it."
"Are you kidding me Y/N?!" Kyoka nudged her with her elbow, "What has gotten into you? We are training to be heros."
"So? That gives all the other classes the VIP card to disrespect us?" Y/N glared at a particular boy from General Studies and said, "I don't know why did I even bother to try to be friends with them."
"Chill dude." Kyoka sighed.
"I don't think I can. As if its not enough that we are nervous about the whole competition, that the other classes think its a great time to pass hateful comments."
Bakugou was finally in front of the mic as the students finally quieted down, "I just wanna say-" Y/N just wished he wouldn't be himself for once, " -I'm gonna win."
While everyone booed him and Iida was trying to talk about him being disrespectful, Y/N's eyes observed something else in him.
"Not my fault the rest of you all are just stepping stones to my victory." He said and started walking back to his position.
He actually wasn't being himself. He would've made it into a joke and laughed while saying it if he was actually being himself.
This was him challenging himself.
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The preliminary round of the festival was obstacle race. All eleven first-year classes have to race along a four-kilometer-long obstacle course around the festival stadium. Participants were allowed to use their freely to try and win, as long as they do not leave the race course. The first forty-two competitors that finish will advance to the second event.
As soon as the race started, most of the students got stuck trying to rush out of the stadium. In the middle of it, when Y/N finally was able to get out from the crowd, suddenly ice covered her feet and she got stuck.
"Oh for god's sake, I bet it's that stupid Todoroki again." Y/N cursed and concentrated on rising the temperature of the water gushing out her feet. It took some time but when she finally got out of it, she used her water quirk to rush forward. In a way Todoroki made her path easier with the ice. She slid along the ice covered path like she was ice skating.
But she had to stop. In front of them was their first obstacle - Robo Inferno. Something that they faced during their entrance exam. While Todoroki froze them when they were off balance and took off to his path, the rest of the students were yet to pass them.  
Just as expected, some students of Class 1-A were already on their way, avoiding fighting the robots, including Y/N who now had to use more of her power in order to run since Todoroki stopped creating his ice path. Bakugou and Todoroki were way ahead of everyone else and Y/N was almost catching up to them. The thing is, having any kind of power very similar to the five elements is a benefit to those who were in the race.
Soon, the second obstacle was on her sight. It was 'The Fall' - a canyon that must be trekked across by walking along tightropes. Now that one was a bit difficult. If she used too much of her power than required, she might miss and fall down.
"Well, I gotta take my chances." Y/N said and moved forward, almost slipping down once if it wasn't for Ochaco helping her balance herself. Todoroki did slid on the ropes but using those would've been dangerous if the ice slipped off from any part of the rope.
Her patience was running low with these obstacles slowing her down on every path. Using more of her power now out of frustration to reach the first position, she rushed forward as she came across the last obstacle - Mine Field.
"I wasn't plotting around just because I talked to that guy asshole." She started walking forward avoiding the mines and gritted her teeth muttering, "I wanna win fair and square because I fucking deserve it."
Todoroki and Bakugou were already on their way, not only avoiding the mines but also fighting with each other along the way. Suddenly a huge blast took place, as she looked up and saw Midoriya moving forward - more like flying forward to the first position.
"No way." Y/N gasped, "Fuck it." She said and used a huge blast of water to move forward, even though it ended up in another mine field blast, slowing the other students down.
"And back in the stadium is the first place winner - Izuku Midoriya!" Y/N heard Present Mic announce. She grunted and moved faster - hoping to be atleast in the Top 10.
And she was.
She was in the 5th position. The girl in 4th position, Ibara Shiozaki - she looked really delicate. "How in the world was she in that position? Well, Mineta also managed to come to the finish line. She was from Class 1-B. And going by the quality that stood out the most in her, that girl's hair was different - probably a part of her quirk." Y/N thought.
She caught her breath and observed Bakugou fuming from the distance. Ofcourse he was angry about Midoriya - once again.
Along with exhaustion and frustration, remembering the words Bakugou spewed, she was now angrily walking towards him. Pulling his shoulder and forcibly making him face her, she said, "I am not that of a low life to plot against my own class Bakugou. Seriously, years of us studying together and this is what you think I fucking am? We are your classmates, not enemies."
And with that she walked off to congratulate Midoriya, although with a frown on her face.
Totally forgetting about the fact that she was finally able to look at Bakugou in the eye and talk to him directly.
Crush or not, Y/N surely didn't tolerate someone questioning her loyalty.
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Chapter 16
SEASON - II
Ignite
MASTERLIST
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tags: @captncappuccino​
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