#like what an L on all levels

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos' #and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES) #sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-; #the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

[flustersnaggle]

THE WORLD, FULL OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES

aurelia aquareine (she/her), sage of alchemy — cheerful // creative // perfectionist

general: face skinblend // facekit 1 // facekit 2 // face highlights (highlight N1) // face undertones // hairline // brows // eye preset // lashes // eye base // eye sparkle // eyeshadow (eyeshadows N9 glitter only) // eyeliner // blush—... hey, where did it go? // mouth corners // teeth // body preset // skinblend (skin N13 overlay) // skin tints // nails // wrist tattoo everyday: hair (my wedding stories) // hat (helia hat V3) // earrings // choker // dress // boots formal: hair (my wedding stories) // earrings // necklace // lipstick // dress (high school years) // arm bracelet (realm of magic) // shoes (base game) athletic: hair (fashima fro) & headwrap overlay // earrings (base game) // top (throwback fit) // shorts (daisy shorts V1) // socks (artemis socks) // shoes (incheon arrivals) sleep: bonnet (V2) // robes (vintage glamour) // shoes (spa day) party: hair (lisa low fro) // earrings (ashley earrings) // necklace (poolside splash) // lipstick // dress (naomi dress) // bracelets // shoes swimwear: hair (pam puff V1) // top (island living) // bottom (base game) // bracelet (base game) // feet hot weather: hair (penny puff V3) // earrings (base game) // top (eco lifestyle) // shorts (realm of magic) // bracelet (base game) // shoes (incheon arrivals) cold weather: hair (lisa low fro) // hat (seasons) // earrings // coat // gloves (get to work) // shoes (get together) extras: poses 1 & potion // poses 2 // poses 3 // realm of magic icons rip

thank you! — @atomiclight, @pyxiidis, @okruee, @ddarkstonee, @serawis, @sayasims, @meghewlett, @obscurus-sims, @miikocc, @pralinesims, @xiamdeathx, @goppolsme, @squea, @magic-bot, @crilender, @ms-marysims, @clumsyalienn, @raccoonium, @philosimy, @mysteriousdane, @crypticsim, @sheabuttyr, @aharris00britney, @ayoshi, @mapleseed, @qwertysims, @arethabee, @sentate, @lady-moriel, @makesims, @dearie-sim, @hula-zombie

#terribly sorry about her hair blending into the background in the lookbook pics by the way. i've never taken screenshots in live mode before #anyway. got bored so i tried my hand at an alchemy sage #i actually tried keeping her at roughly the same level of extravagance as the other three sages' official designs so she could #somewhat reasonably stand next to them. otherwise i would've made her far more elaborate what with being a sage and all #that being said i am very proud of how she turned out in the end though #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 simblr #simblr #ts4 spellcaster #spellcaster #ts4 sage #realm of magic sage #ts4 lookbook #lookbook #sim: aurelia aquareine #snag's sim tag #...as a bonus treat for reading the tags this far i'll let you in on a secret #aurelia's first name means 'the golden one' referencing gold's alchemical significance and perfection #whereas her last name aquareine is the name of a character from the wizard of oz novels (like how L. faba's name is a reference to elphaba) #AND is a reference to the name of the aqua regia chemical solution as well

[katyspersonal]

I really hate it when someone says or does something mean and unfair and I try to address how wrong it is, and all they can react as "hey this is just internet and we are also strangers move on why are you getting so worked up about words in the iNtErNeT fRoM sTrAnGeR grow up pls I can be a mean unfair bitch for no reason to StRaNgErS on the InTeRnEt 🥺🥺🥺"

Like, the fact that we are not sharing physical space doesn't cancel the fact that what you just did not only didn't make rational sense, but was mean? And you are not supposed to be a rude bitch to "strangers" either? How are you a mature, secure adult if the only way you can handle the fact of misjudging someone and being rude is to try to gaslight them with that "you're overreacting uwu" thing? I am reacting just right, by pointing out an unfair action for being unfair, I am physically unable to react more rationally.

#/vent #personal #internets #the even dumber part was that they ALSO tried to claim that I could not take the L of being 'rejected' #excuse me what? #I am not addressing it because I am desperate for your attention I am addressing it because it wasn't fair #like you know that one wojack picture with a guy sobbing behind a smug mask? #the whole chat I could not see them as anything but that image. just that image the whole chat. #like if you have to constantly repeat how I am a nobody for you like a mantra are you really secure? #anyway I've finally reached the point of blocking people #I normally don't want to because we're all idiots in the same fandom loving this world #but the problem is.. they aren't #they *admitted* having no passion or knowledge about the source material #and just using bits from the source material to create their own thing #fandom is not a grinding ground for 'platform' or someone's narcissism its for LOVING source material #it is the case of 'just create OCs and original project' but these people never do because- #-fanart and fanfics will always get more attention than original stuff. even if they're not from a fan. #though i am generally apprehensive towards popular creators. they are way too willing to make enemies #same vibe as rich asshole wasting money willy nilly #me and the girls are not spoiled like this because we've known traumatizing levels of loneliness #so we are reluctant to completely cut anyone off let alone being mean just to show off

[uniiiquehecrt]

Plz explain then the travesty that is love and thunder

A trainwreck directed by an egotistical six-year-old in a leech of a man's body who thinks he's a screenwriter and still plays pretend with his uwu self-insert OC.

.... real talk, though, in short:

The real travesty of Love and Thunder is that Thor is already made of love and thunder, and simultaneously Jane is the love to his thunder, and the MCU, through taika wai-feck-off, decided he can be neither of those things, and have no nice things. Thor is the most tragic character in the ENTIRETY of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and yes, I do think more tragic than Wanda.

He has lost :

his entire home planet

his people

his entire family of four (no hela does not count he was not connected to her and should have been odin's sister)

before which he lost his brother (his platonic soulmate, to boot) a total of 3 times emotionally, two of those physically

he lost his ENTIRE friend group because his half-sister murdered Volstagg, Hogun and Faendral; he never reconnected with Sif

his only good mentor/parental figure (heimdal) was stabbed through the heart in front of him

he lost his dignity, his crown, his birthright (voluntarily and otherwise)

he lost his self-worth, his sense of direction (bc the writers legitimately thought his arc was about stepping down from the crown instead of making it his own and growing into it in his own way, by his own merits, at his own pace and gave it to some literally no-name side character that showed up for one movie and never respected thor in the first place to even earn his title from him smh)

and taika's idea of rectifying any of this .... is to give him some random child he doesn't know, that he doesn't care for, and manipulate him into taking her under his wing not because of the kindness and limitless love of his own heart even after shutting himself down post!endgame, but because jane asked him to as her dying wish — and then say that THAT is his happy ending.

Tell me why Thor, the longest standing of the Big Three, the king of the stars, the hero who is by all respects the embodiment of love, gets no companionship, no friends, no home, no place to belong, when Tony got a hero's send off and Steve got to be with an alt!dimension Peggy.

#and don't hecking tell me that 'oh but jane had cancer so' #bro i went out of my way to read that comic after i realized how irritated that movie got me #and you know hecking what? JANE COMES BACK #HE USES ALL OF HIS POWER TO /BRING HER BACK/ #AND SHE CHOOSES TO COME BACK FROM THE GATES OF VALHALLA #BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HIM - AND HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER #AND GOSH DANG IT GANG — mcu deserved that win #JUST ONE #HE DESERVES THE /ONE/ WIN #if he can't live for his people and carry the torch of everyone he has lost by being king #and being the best king he can be and choosing to live and love and survive and /lead/ despite his loss #then AT THE VERY LEAST he deserved to be happy with jane as a vagabond protector and /be/ with her and have his kiddos and be at PEACE #furthermore we really gonna act like the royal line isn't gonna end with thor and that that is a pROBLEM??? LIKE A COSMIC ONE??? #like they're not gods and i hate that L+T tries to make them more like the comics when they are n o t literal gods #but gosh dang it the royal asgardian line is like... titan and dare i say /celestial/ tier levels of ridiculous #and thor is the lastoline #we really not gonna talk about that?? #&&. meta #salt to taste #&&. whispers #&&. | marvel. | #&&. thor. #anti thor love and thunder #t:l+t #l+t #anon #nonny my love ty for the ask im just so salty about everything taika's gone and rubbed his nasty hands on concerning my boy

[transmechanicus]

Actually looked up the plot for Last of Us 2 bc i heard such damning reviews at the time of release, and it really does just have the most dumbass little starting conflict spiral into a relentless and confusing slog of depressing bloodshed.

#my stuff #like the fuck do you mean Ellie RESENTS Joel for saving her life. what do you MEAN. #stupid idiot possessed by the fungus type behavior #sorry Ellie guess you weren’t immune after all #also ABYSMAL choice having most of the game be played as the person who kills Joel #like that’s a Quit The Game Forever type ask from the player #Having one level as The Antagonist can be an artistic choice but having them be MOST of the game is bullshit #like congrats i as a player am motivated to walk this character into giving tongue to a Clicker #L + Ratio + Dumbass + Game Cut In Half By Streamers

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

tropes that need to die a horrible death preferably now please: the only characters with asthma are fat and/or nerdy and the implication is that their asthma is caused by lack of excercise/disinterest in athleticism and that it's not in fact... the other way round

oh, and the asthma's only there for comic relief 🙃

#*through gritted teeth* osgood... #idk if its so common any more but jfc #ppl of all weights can have asthma and it's way more likely to stop u doing exercise and cannot be CAUSED by not doing it #sure regular exercise can help but at a level that's accessible to u!! #bc guess what feeling like u can't breath and are imminently gonna die SUCKS and is not funny!!!! #as for the nerd thing... just why #there are athletes with asthma #its really not attributable to one demographic #mine #ableism #sorry for the random rant just thinking about how deeply osgood pissed me off :') #A L S O the idea that if you just exercise enough and you won't be fat anymore is bullshit anyway #there are so many fat athletes and fat people who exercise #fat /= lAzY #even though not exercising does not equal lazy either

[moregraceful]

kinda eating drywall abt the karlsson trade but it is what it is

i consider it a win in that i didn't lose nick cicek in the trade honestly, which probably says intensely worrisome things about my priorities in the sharks org AND my perception of nick cicek's trade value but. yeah no we got fleeced not only by pittsburgh's most eligible president of hockey ops slash gm AND kent hughes, which is an ego blow on unforeseen and sloppy levels. like my mom could sell me to kyle dubas and i'd be like fine, whatever, but mike grier is a whole ass nhl gm. he should have protective charms in place against that man so i gotta ask. i gotta ask. mikey you good. you good babe??? you need some electrolytes???

congrats to sid crosby for adding another boytoy to his dman harem tho. personally cannot wait to see what happens when karly (mean cat), tanger (evil cat), and gravy (anxious greyhound) get in the same locker room. the sparks...they're flyin

#or gravy ends up in wilkes-barre. i'll kill you gmkd don't test me #back for a hot second to check one (1) thing for a challenge but i could not resist explaining my passions (gay defensemen) #maybe there's a god above...all i ever learned from love...was how to write ryan graves in various situations getting stressed out #have i ever written ryan graves smut? i can't remember. huge L if i haven't. someone inform me if i have. i don't remember at all #this tumblr break is going great. i started and finished a fic for time begins that needs psychological spiritual and emotional help #''you know what this baseball fic needs? a trans grandmother who is witch-coded'' boy no it doesn't!!!!! #if i were smart i'd lean into urban fantasy and just go nuts. blake sabol the magic is within YOU #alas the grandmother is simply from sonoma (at first she was from bolinas and then i was like i CANNOT validate those maniacs) #still packing but i'm so stressed bc i have one episode of tunnel talk left and i'm like what do i do if i run out of episodes untll sat #my sister told me to listen to the audiobook of gideon the ninth and i'm like dude i don't know if i'm smart enough for that #i bring a real ''checking books out on libby and not listening or reading to them'' that libraries paying for ebooks and eaudiobooks #per use on a proprietary license do not enjoy #so i'm holding off on gideon for now. i checked out the night tiger while i wait for time war to come round again we'll see if i listen #what am i talking about. i rediscovered spotify's tropical house playlist and that's all i fucken listen to now #on some secret level i am on a sunny beach far away from here getting [redacted] by [redacted] while [redacted] #it's so interesting how it took me a half hour to respond to this and yet i gave anon none of the commiseration they wanted or needed #cage replies #anon

[icewindandboringhorror]

Current temperature inside of my room right now in the middle of the night whilst about to go to sleep... villain origin story...

#You just get SOOOOO tired of being hot all the time for multiple days straight.. with very little relief ever... hhHHHH #I forget that I literally lose my mind and become evil every summer like clockwork #I don't evenknow what I mean by that because I'm just as calm/monotone as ever lol.. but I just feel more evil.. low level pent up rage #or something. nothing changes on the outside but on the inside it's like hmm.. I'm like 5% more hostile than I usually am #not outwardly expressed still of course. but just.. my bones are made of a little more violence recently.. #percentages moving around. My character stats get a temporary modifier all summer where I feel chronically just a LIIIITLE more noticably #unhinged. like I will never do it of course. but I will think about. maybe I'll just throw all the plates at the wall and break every wind #ow with a baseball bat. No. I shant. I would never.. but .. I could. 5% more than I usually could. But I shan't. but let it be known.. I #c o u l d ...i COULD.. if I had to. but I don't.. but still.. keep the notion in the back of the mind.. hmm.. lol #And this is not even during a heat wave at the moment it's just like.. normal summer.. >:') #I think it's also largely the shitty apartment which was not built for coolness. Like older houses will have tall cielings and those window #above the doors and ceiling fans and be built high up from the ground and all these other ways to manage warm weather #naturally. but cheaply constructed dinky city apartments with no ventilation and windows only on one side and blah blah #It retains heat insanely like being trapped in a green house or something #even with all the windows open & fans in the house and stuff it just doesn't really move air well because the space is not made to do that. #Also really testing my anticapitalism/leftism/etc... sitting and thinking 'damn maybe I should play the stock market.. I should sell #some sculptures and overprice them.. howmuch could I charge for these clothes..' < *is desperate to afford a living situation with central #heating and air conditioning* #Haha! Guillotines?? who said anything about those? I LOVE rich people.. haha.. now what's a guy gotta do to instantly get about $50.000 ar #ound here? haha! kidnap someone and sell their organs? okay haha! I love the free market! going to home depot right #now to buy an axe! Don't you just hate taxes? so glad I live in the best country in the world under the best economic system on the planet #USA! USA!! USA!!! *visibly shaking. nose starts bleeding. you notice i am also levitating off the ground slightly* #ANYWAY gfgfgh.... winter......... my sweet child....i miss you so so much.... SUMMER you are my ENEMY #ah well now it's gone down to 80.4 Farenheight. cancel post. thats such an improvemtn surely I'll be able to sleep soundly now /s #what was I ever worried about? it's all good! haha!! *still levitating a little * #In better news - I have finished the Victorian Pharmacy documentary series and am now watching them build a medieval castle! and one of my #goofy joke song snippets suddenly got 6.000 views on youtube which was cool?? though very random? I made kale chips again. and had asparag #us. And saw a duck. carved a lot of things out of avocado pits. Little tidbits to keep me sane.. #See a funny little duck outside and go 'hmm... life is okay actually :) I no longer want to break windows :3' #then it gets like 85F inside again and you're liek NEVERMINDaaaaaaahhh!!!!! then you see a duck next morning and calm down :)

[akkivee]

thinking about kyuubi!hitoya

#this is vee speaking #he’s on the brain because i think about his ‘WARE WA KYUUUUUUUUUUUBI~’ all the damn time #but also because i was awoken from my sleep today because i heard six knocks on my bed of all things and y’all don’t know this about me #but i live supernaturally sometimes lmao #i used to wield bad luck like a weapon like jinx from dc teen titans lol #and the reason i closed my door at night was because of dogs coming into my room but lemme tell y’all about this one night visitor i had lol #lol i think it’s really funny gentaro preemptively wrote hitoya getting soul swapped in round 2gumi like???? #why lol???? i’m not surprised gentaro wants to bully hitoya lmao i’m just surprised he’s doing so this hard???? #like ‘i’m going to dress up as a bunny and jump off of a roof in order to embarrass juto’ is some NEXT LEVEL l hater shit #(that kills people??????????????) #so i’m glad gentaro doesn’t want to bully him that bad lol but what did he do to you gentaro besides exist lmao #hitoya get behind me i fear what gentaro is going to do to you next year LOL #c: hitoya

[ace-with--a-mace]

i definitely think quarantine stunted everyone under the age of like 25's growth and its detrimental to society today

#like obviously society was 'on hold' for however long people decided they wanted to quarantine for if they even did #and people were doing and saying the craziest shit wayyy before the pandemic #but i notice a lot in the younger kids in my neighborhood thay are starting middle school or are starting school in general #that they act 3 years younger and arent fully adjusted (?) to where their brains need to be for their ages #even with teens in my classes! obviously we're teens and we act immature but this like a whole other level #you have people in class stuck in 6th-7th grade and dont know what a rhyming word is #and not even like your usual handful of ppl who cheated their way thru school but like a good 5 ppl in class know the diff between #metaphors nd similes. we're reading classic literature and stories set 100 years ago when blk people were making their own communites #and you have people loudly whine that theyre pissed at the book and nobody talked like Shakespeare did in the 1500s or #nobody talked like just free black people back in early 1900s #like duh quarantine was necessary and all but i think a side effect of it was general immaturity in society #l speaks #ranting in the tags because i can #OH. i was gna mention ab online discourse too like obvi people over 30 use the internet #but you only really ever see dumb fights with insane outcomes come from people who just hit drinking age #idk i just feel like i noticed something that j think other ppl may have noticed but.

[multi-lefaiye]

what's penpal about?

okay so [claps]

short version: penpal is the story of a man who is slowly realizing that he was stalked and potentially almost murdered when he was a child.

long version: penpal is the story of an unnamed narrator who, on a whim, decided to explore some childhood memories that never fully made sense to him looking back, because he never got the bigger picture.

he asks around and tries to learn more about his past, and as time goes on he becomes more and more aware of the fact that, when he was a child, he was actively being stalked for a significant portion of his life, and no one ever told him even after everything was resolved (b/c unfortunately, penpal does not have a happy ending, and there's never any justice for what happened).

i like penpal because the story is presented as an unrelated series of events at first glance, but the more you think about it the more things start to make sense and connect together.

it's very much like... a story about the loss of innocence, the unreliability of our own memories, and how good parents will do anything to protect their children. and it's fucking emotionally devastating on SO many levels.

however, it's fucked up and dark and sad and i don't recommend reading it if any of what i described here sounds like it'd be triggering or upsetting for you. while i think penpal is significantly more respectful in how it handles its concept than a lot of horror i've seen, i also DEFINITELY think it's not for everyone. it's bleak and sad and there's no justice or happy ending.

ok sorry to ramble a bit ASDFJK;L i just remembered like... this book fucked me up but i also do think it's super well-written.

#talk to the bunnykitty #also new tag for u let's go let's gooooo #bat time all the time #i don't know what that means. anyway if u want a different one lemme know ASDJKF;L #penpal also kinda hits home for me for a lot of reasons i'm not fully comfortable going into rn #so a lot of why i'm so attached to it is on that level #also similarly to tftgs penpal started as a creepypasta #but i think it's a lot more interesting than a lot of creepypastas out there #and infinitely more respectful in how it handles its subject matter #also the more i think about it the more i do think there is an argument that penpal does lean into some shock value a bit #especially with its ending #but. it at least considers the ramifications of everything that happens #and it doesn't just Have It Happen #like fucked up things happen in this story but they leave an impact and they're not just there to shock the reader #stalking cw #stalking mention cw #ask to tag

[nine-aetharia]

wait wait WAIT the choice where you tell mack he's not mark and thus forcibly bring mark back by erasing him from existence implies the captain can warp reality on the same level as dr. cecil h h mills

#and not temporospatial-dimensional warping #as in literally forcibly wipe someone out of existence to inject someone into it #that's like warfstache level ability #this is likely nothing and is just a rule of cool thing #but DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS FOR THE POWER SYSTEM IN THIS UNIVERSE DHDGSGSGH #THAT'S SO FUCKED UP AND THAT'S SO C O O L #iswm #in space with markiplier #iswm 2 #iswm 2 spoilers #talk to me about power systems. i can talk about magic systems all day. love them

[smallblueandloud]

ESSBUTCH!!!!

#i cannot post pictures of my outfit today but please rest assured it may be the butchest i've ever looked #AND IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TODAY #this shirt leveled UP when put over a tank top like. GOD. incredible. it got me through SO MUCH today #sb and l rambles #butch #i am about to change into the dress i sleep in and that ALSO makes me very happy but. aaaa i couldn't be butch ALL SUMMER #THERE ARE MANY PROBLEMS WITH THE AREA I LIVE IN BUT I CAN AT LEAST LOOK QUEER

[pantestudines]

If a class asks me to write a 20 page paper on a scientific subject, especially one in my field of natural history, it’ll suck and take time, but fuck I can just DO that. Just start writing. All the info’s right there! Find some papers on google scholar, look at some cladograms, cite some dudes from the early 2000s and just restate what they said. All the sources are plain, mostly without bias, and at least pretend like they represent something “objective”. Does x animal have y anatomical feature? Which of these rocks is highest in silica content? Has any correlation been found between these things?

If a class asks me to find ten sources on political issues I care about and how they can be fixed, through the machinations of congress, I think Id rather tear my own jaw off my skull. This is excruciating. 

#writing this instead of writing a paper obviously #100 level american government class has the worst god damn essays ive ever seen #10 sources? sources that say what? #I dont know what i care about... or at least. the things i do care about probably arent going to be fixed by US SENATORS of all people. #let ALONE how to fix that shit #where the fuck am i suppose to get sources on this shit?? random internet articles? i dont know who to trust there #if it was ONE sure. fine. ill figure it out #but FIVE issues?? Man! I just want to grill! #obviously i can think of 5 things that suck ass... but idk if actual politicians care about them or if i agree with their #solutions?? i ont fucking know #i dont like any of these people an i consider all of their solutions to be at least partially bullshit. can i go home #the workings of the american political machine when it comes to 'problems' and 'solutions' is beyond me. #boutta just take the L an loose 10% of my grade man. i dont care #maybe im just stupid idk but id take reading *shudders* morphometrics papers over this shit

[hellbatschilt]

Genuinely surprised when people follow me for XIV stuff because I haven't talked about it properly on here in a while... When the expac comes out, I'll be all over that though I prommy (different way of saying promise)

#like what doesn't help is that there's a content drought and i've finished all of my the grindy achievements already #me holding up my tt card mount my pt*ranodon and my hunt mounts #but anyways yeah. i sometimes go on hellbat to do hunts these days since i need a break from playing my 3rd alt LOL #although i do love my 3rd alt a lot. mr. meurs*ult l*mbus c*mpany my beloved <- censoring since i don't want it to show up in his tag #got the title i wanted on him (guardian angel) in 5 days like a madman and now i'm just slowly leveling all of his jobs to 80 lol #also wanna work on his dol/doh jobs too tbh... i don't think he'll be like my x alt (but that's because i've had x since 2021) but a man - #- can try. meur won't have the aliklil though. but anyways #once d*wntrail is out i will be going ham on hellbat again. finishing 7.0 story stuff and then immediately working on my hunt achievements #bat mount... bat mount please. how has this game existed for 10 years and there's no bat mount. #hell give me a barbastelle to fly around on or something. i play as a lala anyways so it's already the perfect size LOL #i was gonna ramble more but realized i need to do my hard mode md run in l*mbus before maintenance so byeeeee