#like what if this entire time she /was/ like this and im - idk projecting??

[stinkrascal]

even though it was buried in the tags of my last text post, that text post was the first time ive ever admitted to any of my ocs having The Diagnosis which is also My Diagnosis which means ive just somewhat admitting to having The Diagnosis which is My Diagnosis and wow that was extremely nerve wracking but it also felt nice to get it out there. this is my coming out post i guess

#definitely gonna delete this later i just wanted to ramble for a minute #idk why but this specific diagnosis was the most difficult thing to come to terms with #being diagnosed with adhd and bpd that was nothing but THIS ONE? it ruined my life for at least a few months #which is so silly bc when other people have this diagnosis i think nothing of it #but when its Me it just brings out this horrible complex inside of my heart #so having an explanation for that kinda stung you know. but hey its there now #a lot of this journey has just been me trying 2 unlearn the harmful stereotypes abt myself as far as The Diagnosis is concerned #and learning to treat myself kindly in spite of my insecurities which at times feel like a direct byproduct of my diagnosis. its a lot #but yeah. Yeah. idek what im trying to say anymore #shoutout to my homies who felt like aliens their entire childhoods only to be diagnosed later in life we are so strong and whatever #kisses you on the forehead #also tbh it feels good to project it onto my ocs. it makes me feel better about myself #making brie autistic as shit makes me feel more normal because in my head im like well shes living her best life. why cant i #and all the straud kids too. theyre still living their best lives and theyre totally confident w themselves and they accept their diagnosis #and they accept its just a part of them you know!! nothing to be ashamed of. so why cant i #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY im very emotional right now. ik this is kinda weird but i really want to find the confidence #to talk about this without feeling embarrassed about myself. autism rocks ! #this is literally the autism website idk why im nervous right now you are all literally autistic why am i so nervous LOL

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i dunno what i planned to do today. but it wasnt spening 8am-5.30pm weighing samples #just like i didnt plant to spend 11am-6.30pm yesterday weighing samples. but sometimes the universe doesnt let u choose #mostly i feel bad that our undergrad had to do all that time with me when she has all her class work as well and #like i dont care abt the project and ive been with it every step of the way. it was nice talking with her tho #fucking exhausting bc i talked the ENTIRE TIME bc i cant handle lulls in conversation. but ive been assured im not annoying so whatever #god. my boss asked me yesterday if id gotten to relax this last week and its like. i mean compared to the fucking month ive had? yes #but probably not by the standards of a normal person. i definitely havent been getting enough sleep #and tomorrow i habe to go in at 8 and in theory im supposed to go to a retirement party tomorrow at noon #and the guy is a rambler so who knos how long ill b there. and im already socially drained. thrn monday i should start with my other #project again. but i habe to check the machine and im just gonna have to go full on no breaks until mid may #so whej will i get a break? in theory after may 14th. so fucking frustrating #and im not mad at anyone specifically. i just hate this project and cant wait to quit and move #so now im gonna fucking draw more too earnest narut0 fanart and avoid the things i should b doing #bc im fuckine exhausted. literally i was standinf from 9.30 to 3pm with not breaks bc idk i didnt look at the time #and im not running today apparently bc im too tired and the sun is gonna set in 20min >:-[ #ay ay ay. 2023 my year of hatred and rage #wah. i don't wanna drive tomorrow 😫 #unrelated

[arolesbianism]

Ok I'm having Joshua mental illness get hit with the me making bullshit up beam boy you could be so interesting if we try hard enough

#rat rambles #oni posting #like look at me look deep into my eyes what if his morals arent much better than some of his peers #I dont want joshua to be a bad person but theres room for him to be a very messy and interesting one #like imagine him being like genuinely loyal to jackie and her causes #but like as time goes on and shit gets worse it leads to him having to pick and choose his loyaties and who he stands by #like I just think itd be interesting if given the choice of siding with jackie or ellie he would choose jackie #not that I think ellie has great morals or whatever herself but I have little doubt that she wasnt also beinh treated like shit later on #plus I like the spice of adding more ppl to the employees who got dissapeared pile #adds to the desperate scramble feeling of late stage gravitas #but yeah I think joshua would rly rly want to keep ellie safe and not lose her as a friend but I like to imagine a world where he struggles #with that because of his own flaws as opposed to ellies #idk it just would add more to their dynamic and to joshua's non-existent character lol #like at least we see ellie involved in different enviorments joshua we see solely in casual friendly conversation #cause like he and ellie have the same job so theoretically he could know everything ellie knows abt the going ons in gravitas #which is likely quite a bit given that ellie likely is at least vaguely aware of the duplicant project #you see Im just a guy whos overly invested in joshua ellie and nikola as a trio who parallel eachother even tho nikola is only tied to them #through One email abt him stealing one of their lunches #tbf I also like thinking abt other characters late stage gravitas moments but those three are most interesting to me personally #and its pretty much entirely because of ellie and nikola being jackie's lackeys lol #and yknow what joshua deseves to be in on the fun lets get someone whos not blond in the mix #two shitty assholes and a joshua who isnt quite a shitty asshole but still isnt much better

[comradekatara]

hi, fully optional atla meta question: hypothetically, how would the rest of the gaang react if they somehow found out how very damaged and mentally ill sokka is? (also please know that I am asking this because you have the very bestest sokka takes thank you)

im so sorry, but something about the phrasing of this ask is just really funny to me??? idk why but i can’t stop picturing them all in therapy a la that one sunny episode. “the gaang gets analyzed.” aang being like “i was frozen in an iceberg for an entire century.” “that’s not possible.” “well first of all through the avatar spirit all things are possible, so jot that down.” azula constantly spouting that she graduated top of her class at the royal fire academy for girls so there’s no way some two bit shrink will be able to get through to her. toph insisting that she is impenetrable vault while spitting peanut shells at her therapist with utmost hostility, five minutes later she’s sobbing about her mommy. zuko doesn’t even need five minutes, he starts sobbing about his mommy in under five seconds. katara willingly recounts the entire story of her life but it’s the most biased narrative you’ve ever heard. ty lee somehow gets her therapist to open up to her. mai just does a little comedy bit to amuse herself until their time is up, and then afterwards she’s like “hm…. maybe i should’ve actually brought up my pervading existential dissatisfaction and constant unending misery.” suki doesn’t realize what the purpose of a therapy session is and keeps treating it like a first date. sokka keeps insisting that he doesn’t need therapy because he’s too smart for it. his therapist is like “i am perfectly willing to acknowledge that you’re a genius but that’s also totally irrelevant to the project of cognitive behavioral therapy.” sokka basically just treats it like a game to be won and somehow manages to describe every single facet of his life truthfully while passing himself off as perfectly well-adjusted and happy. katara and zuko come out of their sessions like “wow i feel so refreshed, like so many of my emotional burdens have been lifted, and i can finally navigate my feelings in a healthier way. isn’t therapy great?” and sokka’s just like “maybe for you normies. while you’re working on developing healthier coping mechanisms or whatever, i’m playing psychological pai sho with a guy who thinks i’m so mentally stable i don’t even need therapy.” so basically he is a lost cause.

#kalliopeia-musing #asks #i realized i actually didn’t answer your question at all #but it genuinely makes me too sad to talk about #so instead you get this #the gaang and #synthesis #(always sunny reference) #sokka #the royal fire academy for girls is the penn state of the fire nation btw #(jk obviously azula only goes to harvard)

[eldritch-spouse]

im taking the 50/50 gamble asking this cause yolo i guess (its ok i can wait centuries for my ask to be answered anyways.)

so uh— what if darling is insistent on leaving vesper, like— REALLY insistent. bringing it up casually saying “It’s going to turn me on even more when i leave you and go back to earth,” or “So where’s the going back home ritual?”

and this is kinda because darling doesn’t feel deserving of vesper. sure, she loves him— but like that one post, she just can’t stand seeing vesper having sex with others while she’s just a human who can’t take him. (forever a virgin) and also cause darling sees sex as a romantic while vesper sees it as….idk the word but you get it.

(maybes it even worse when darling has to dissociate and leave the room everytime she caught vesper with someone else. and she will get extremely depressed for days on end everytime she hears the moans and all— putting her in a constant cycle. sorry im projecting my bpd on darling.)

and i saw the post of vesper explaining it too, and while darling understands, she’s still sad regardless, and extremely hurt if vesper calls her cruel when she also tries to explain.

so darling went quiet, nods and casually walked away. and that’s when all the comments about wanting to go home started.

then weeks passed and no one ever saw darling ever again. because darling sees there’s no point to be with vesper anymore even if she loves him, but now she’s mostly inside her separate room 24/7 bedrotting (aka back to her old lifestyle before being taken into Hell.)

or you know, just gets up and leaves Hell altogether. find some way to remove the mark, asked a couple of concerned imps for the way home, or call upon an angel on the icon of hell phone to take them back to earth. and darling SUCCEEDED in returning home.

i know vesper um…is vespering but maybe this is a rare, once in a lifetime moment where vesper snaps, goes feral, actually blue balling himself for so long until he finds darling again on earth. and during that time hell is in constant chaos idk im just blabbering and rambling at this point.

but yeah, ending can be vesper finding darling again and turning her to a succubus, or darling just lives her life peacefully while hell is going down from the domino effect.

(and um, i too feel bad because i know and read your posts about vesper and he’s unfortunately my fav. it might seem strange genuinely disliking my fav but i too just wanted to try and forget about vesper after this.)

(um, if ur planning to write, please don’t get darling cucked in the ending. again, i know this is vesper we’re talking about. u can ignore and delete this ask if u don’t like me requesting darling doesn’t get cucked for the ending.)

(anyways, take ur time getting to my ask. i can wait a long while to the point i might forget sending this ask.)

I'm not going to write anything, you made a scenario on your own, the skeleton for the entire story is already there.

Though this does seem a bit weird. Are you actually genuinely upset with the character? I'm not going to upset you further by telling you how realistic or unrealistic some of his actions here are.

I don't even quite understand what you meant with reader getting cucked. Cucking doesn't really exist in Lust because having sex with others is simply natural and expected and partners don't see it as a betrayal, it'd just be another culture barrier in the relationship. Out of many other culture barriers that you have to adapt to whether you like it or not. You would continue to get "cucked", because the King of Lust cannot subsist on you alone, and he's not about to weaken himself because you find him having sex with others repulsive.

If you are genuinely upset with all this, for some reason, consider finding a character that won't cause that effect in you. I didn't really make any of this with the intent of causing people to get depressed.

#Vesper oc

[jihyocentric]

idk if anyone has requested for the summary of dormmate!nayeon yet, but I would like to! It’s been a while since we have got an update about them🥺

thanks in advance and have a great day, lumi!

made this a filler drabble to give context to the next request for this au!

-

getting to know yeri shifted something between them. jihyo slowly realizes that nayeon has been sweeter with her, trying to redeem herself, knowing she was the reason why jihyo had to deal with that.

if only nayeon had resisted the urge to have jihyo, they wouldn’t be stuck in that situation. jihyo could’ve found someone nice. someone who would take care of her, always put her first and wouldn’t make her pretend she doesn’t know them when they’re not in between four walls.

this time, when the guilt begins to consume her, nayeon doesn’t drink. after the last time she drowned her sorrows in alcohol and everything went downhill, nayeon promised she wouldn’t do that again, resorting to less harmful things.

that included spending quality time with jihyo, and sometimes helping sana and momo out. there was an extracurricular project of which the two were volunteers, and while sana and momo were there for the money, nayeon wanted time for herself, keeping her mind busy while teaching kids the basics of basketball.

that way, she didn’t have to think about the mess that her life had become. the moments where she was alone at the dorm, waiting for jihyo to arrive, were the worst hours of her days. as long as she was away, either helping out on the project or taking classes at college, her problems would vanish.

even if temporarily, she could finally breathe.

“since we’re letting you participate, you should give us the money,” sana says when they’re leaving college. momo agrees with her. “you don’t need it! besides, if it wasn't for us you would never know about the project, and…”

“you can have it.” nayeon sighs, already sick of having the two around. they had become closer with time, and they certainly knew how to keep nayeon from thinking about her problems, but they talked too much. “can you just keep quiet?”

“that easy?!” sana blinks, confused, hugging nayeon’s shoulder with a smile on her face. “look at you, im. you’re such a good friend now.”

nayeon scoffs, offering her a halfhearted smile. momo was clueless to the whole nayeon and jihyo subject, and none of them were planning to tell her. nayeon still hates the fact that momo tries to reach jihyo, the jealousy stopping nayeon from accepting momo as a friend. sana finds it entertaining for the most part, an amused viewer.

when she gets home, nayeon feels a scent that calls for her, fresh and sugary, filling the entire dorm. jihyo leaves the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around her, and nayeon knows she will rightfully complain about what she plans to do, but she can’t help but engulf her in a hug, her front meeting jihyo’s back, her sweaty arms involving her.

“you’re late,” jihyo sighs, her hair being pulled aside, soft lips kissing her neck, a familiar gesture that made her stomach burn, anticipating everything that came next. “and sweaty.”

“i took the girls home today,” nayeon pushes jihyo’s body gently, making her walk. while she wouldn’t mind to fuck her in the hallway, right there and then, her legs ached after spending the day running on a court. “and now i’m taking you.”

jihyo’s back hits the mattress as soon as nayeon manages to undo her towel, and then she’s trapped in one of those moments where she thinks she should be saying no. meeting yeri made things become more real, the guilt close to palpable, but it feels so good, even when it’s bad.

nayeon’s kisses carried uncertainties that even the roughest touch couldn’t make jihyo understand what nayeon wanted behind the obvious lust. kisses shouldn’t feel that way — empty and hungry at the same time, and nayeon shouldn’t be silently telling jihyo she is hers when she couldn’t live up to the promise.

“about our date…” nayeon inches away, taking off her muscle tee and dropping it to the floor. “there’s a festival happening out of town this weekend, i thought i could take you there.”

jihyo takes a while to process what nayeon had told her, eyes locked on her tummy. the top part of her boxers was showing, nayeon entirely too lazy to fix it. the shirt had been covering it anyway.

“you’re taking me out of town so nobody can see us?” jihyo asks, bringing her hand to the belt around nayeon’s waist, unbuckling it easily.

“what a smart girl,” nayeon mashes her lips together, only letting out a small laugh. “there’s nothing interesting for us to do here. at least not this weekend… just thought you would like to do something different.”

it was true.

not entirely true, but it was still true. nayeon was taking her out of town because it was dangerous to walk around with jihyo when nobody knew she shared her dorm with her, but she wasn’t lying when she said there was nothing interesting to do around the town.

“too sweet, unnie.” jihyo sighs, pulling nayeon’s pants down to her thighs along with the boxers. she moans softly when nayeon’s cock springs out, hard from the moment she saw jihyo. “planning to take me to bed afterwards?”

nayeon shrugs, letting jihyo guide her inside, supporting herself on her arms as she leans into her neck, nibbling the smooth skin just slightly. jihyo was already covered in marks, and those needed time to heal without nayeon trying to give her more of them.

“obviously.” nayeon tells her, amused. “but i want us to have fun, too. just you and i,” she pulls away just barely, nose brushing against jihyo’s. “my pretty girl.”

wasting no time, nayeon starts to thrust. she had always been fond of giving jihyo a little praising, knowing what it did to her, combining them with searing thrusts that would make jihyo cry out beautifully.

nayeon keeps a hand on jihyo’s cheek tenderly, another holding her thigh, groaning at how jihyo claws at her ass under the pants, subtly asking nayeon to put it all in and go impossibly deep, her way of making nayeon hers, an arbitrary sense of accomplishment growing in her chest.

the same passion that put them in their current situation comes back stronger when they’re together like that — losing themselves together, bodies pressed against one another, fulfilling a need that would never be truly sated, drowning into each other’s mouths even when they could barely breathe, forgetting about the world outside.

despite everything, there's nothing to regret when it feels that good.

#anon #nayeon #jihyo #nahyo #dormmate!nayeon #g!p #fill

[thesungod]

their theme is so inconsistent like at the beginning it feels clear, being who you are and accepting each other’s darkness, but the way its done is 😬 and then it switches up to being literally budget toa saying “well everything can change yk??? don’t stay in the darkness” but in a horrible fashion and they’re acting like this is what they’ve been trying to tell me in the past 400 pages when it ISNT dont LIE to ME

i don’t think EITHER of them was reading the book as they write they were just mashing words together bc im watching a book promo for it rn and rick’s saying that will likes nico bc he likes nicos ““darkness”” and how intrigues him and mark’s saying neither of nico or will wants to change that core part of the other. which explains away him in BOO trying to tell nico that nobody disliked him—being that will was projecting his own feelings about nico onto others—and also relates will to apollo even more with their need to reach out to outcasts and love them. but then they didn’t write that they literally wrote that will doesn’t like it and he wants to fix it. thats my STEP SON and they did that to him.

rick did not want to write this book at all, and mark probably projected their nico stanisms onto the other characters without justifying the stanisms. you can really tell when rick has a passion for writing something and when he could not care less. the subtle toa promo in one of the gorgyra scenes and apollo’s updated glossary—he wants you to read toa so bad he could not gaf about this book. and yet apollo is never mentioned positively like give him back to me.

speaking of mark i think this is just a consistent issue they have when writing. i read reviews of one of their books (anger is a gift) and some were very negative about the way the narrative made the protagonist the most righteous person ever and completely revolved around them. ifl that issue bleeds into this book as well.

i saw people (including the writers) say this book is darker than a lot of rick’s other books and i really need them to shut the fuck up; THO literally had kids tied up in crucifixes to be burned at the stake 😭

ok sorry for the ramble i see the letters tsats together and i go on a rampage

you absolutely ate this up!!

also laughing at you calling it “budget toa” because that’s exactly what i said to a friend about this book once. i felt almost offended over the authors trying to fit the “everyone can change!!” narrative last minute and make Nico the symbol of re-invention after five whole books of ToA. i was very “how dare you stand where he stood” about it which is childish but alas.

i’ve also mentioned several times how will and nico’s conflict in the book was not intriguing to read about because it was inconsistent. not to mention that according to the timeline they’ve been together for a year!!! an entire year!!! and the book still has Will acting #shocked that Nico, idk, likes darkness.

the Mary-Suing of Nico literally the worst thing to ever happen to me. i’m usually all for my faves winning, but that’s after they’ve been through the mortifying ordeal of losing, yk. and i get that Nico has been through a lot but the book was basically a 400-pages-long ass kissing and i couldn’t do it.

i couldn’t even feel particularly moved or vindicated by Bob pledging loyalty to him in the end because it wasn’t cathartic at all. i was like we get it dude lol

same with his “friendship” with Piper tbh. not everyone needs to like Nico😭 i would have totally loved it if the book had shown a friendship progress organically through their grief for Jason or common interests (even if just briefly narrated through a recollection!! i’m not saying we needed chapters of flashbacks or Piper as a third main), but Nico does not mention her once ever. they didn’t even like each other in HoO!! then at the end of the book he calls her and he is all like “of course she wouldn’t be angry at me for not calling after Jason died <3 she understands that grief is complicated <3”

my king Piper isn’t angry at you for not calling because she dgaf about you. why would she. who are you to her

another thing I’ll never get over re: Nico and Will’s relationship is how, per the book, Nico encouraged Will to come out and was the first one of the two to do so, when every. single. thing written about them in the Hidden Oracle suggests the opposite.

why the fuck is Nico so reticent and embarrassed about admitting to be Will’s boyfriend in the first book of ToA if it’s Nico who came out first? IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP might I add?

because i get that coming out to someone doesn’t necessarily mean being comfortable coming out to everyone, but Nico announced his crush IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP. and asked Will out. and Will wasn’t out at the time. so whyyyy is their dynamic on THO literally the opposite of this? with Will pushing Nico to be more open about their relationship while Nico plays coy? because Apollo is Will’s father? idk, maybe i guess😭

but it’s pretty obvious the change in the dynamic was established later on and that the impression we were supposed to have while reading THO is that Will was the one more comfortable and in tune with his sexuality. like, come on.

#ask #solangelo book

[shutt3rbug]

i wanna know about the entire cast for the swap au. how would ramona's dynamic with the exes act as?

Ok word vomit incoming. tldr at the end for basics just scroll till you see tldr in blue, the essay is for the real bitches who like lore

Obviously in my au knives takes gideons spot rather than a different ex of scotts like how other ppl do but i decided to make her the daughter of a rich business man (mr.chau) who is gonna pass the business down to her when shes 20 (in my au knives and scott “date” when she like 16/17 like in the books but a good chunk of the exes bullshit + everything before happens right when she turns 19 and she does like. a few chapters into the book and then at the end of the series around the canon gideon scott fight is when shes 20) ofc this also changes scotts age a bit but. lowk idgaf abt him rn hes like 26 at the start or so now instead of 24. roxie and wallace swap place unfortunately, i dont like wallace but i have to put him somewhere. roxie is a semi popular artist and ramona is a mooch who showed up to her apartment after a bad breakup and just never left but they actually have a nice apartment but theyre still in Canada(she drunkenly got on multiple buses and trains from nyc to Toronto at roxies place and survived dont ask how its that white girl swag).

todd takes kims place shocker i know. the twins,todd and ramona all have a band together they replace sex bob omb because they all attend the same college in this au

lucas lee and lisa switch. (yes todd,ramona and lucas beef still happens dont worry)

envy is the 3rd ex and is dating gideon. she has pyromancy psychic powers rather than vegan ones. kim is the first ex still hung up on how scott ditched her in highschool only to find out he was two timing her with lisa. the twins end up. Somewhere. Julie takes one of the twins spots (holly might take the other one. I dont know)

I hate it when ppl age down matthew patel to fit knives’ spot but its also kinda weird because of the whole age difference thing its Odd no shade to anyone who does but it icks me out so im not doing it. Matthew is this guy ramona dates but shes lowk using him for money and cheats on him multiple times (manipulating him to forgive her) before scott is even in the picture.

also in my edit we see she still dyes her hair but she only does highlights and streaks because shes too afraid of commitment in more ways than one.

tbh i need to develop this more but heres the skeleton of my idea also all the exes are friends and often hang out at roxies place but matthew is the last to join them but theyre all friends who dislike ramona lowkey but tolerate her.

if im missing anyone you wanna hear about send me another ask!

TLDR; all of ramonas exes r technically her friends but they do not actually fw like that until the end.

ramona(loser leech)<-->scott(manic pixie dream boy whos life i being tampered with by knives)

roxy->wallace (lesbian semi known artist roommate)

matthew->knives (not aged down,chump being used)

knives -> gideon (daughter of a business man whos passing it down)

todd->kim (whore drummer)

lucas lee->lisa (new actor. Whore)

twins-> stephen stills (in ramonas band)

kim->matthew (first ex)

lisa->lucas (second ex)

envy ->todd(third ex)

wallace->roxy (fourth ex)

julie + hollie-> twins (fifth and sixth ex)

knives doesn't want scott anymore but shes set on making sure he pays for what he did (cheated,lied, used her for money etc)

ty for being interested in my au! idk if im gonna keep doing stuff for it or yk have it as a little side project to keep me busy sometimes! also i did take inspo from other ppl to kinda Frankenstein this together

#scott pilgrim #tech.txt #sorry for this long post i love talkng but posting publicly on a whim makes me nervous and uncomfy #lmk if you wanna know anything else please ^_^ im kinda making stuff up as i go so please ask me anything #i forgot to mention my oc azure who i ship with knives but shes for another time I'll draw her soon ;)

[yuukei-yikes]

i was thinking abt how ayano and shintaro r the only two characters who ever die by suicide (shintaro is only in some routes but STILL.) and like how that's a way of showing that they had the potential to understand each other (bc in my opinion they r actually very similar) but not until either of them were dead. idk does this make sense? i just thought of this today so this thought isnt very refined yet i need to think abt it more

they ARE similar!!!!! i totally agree. shintaro and ayano are totally similar people. they're both Justice Seekers but are so depressed and have such horrible self worth they can't actually be proactive about things. but then they are :3

i wish we got ayano pov from hs and why she liked shintaro. I've always thought ayano's crush on him is...cute!!! because she's literally going thru the horrors, her mom died, her dad is being Strange, and she has to take care of the house and her siblings all alone PLUS later learning of all the horrible stuff about the daze and clearing. and yet. she's also a normal hs girl who has a silly crush on her classmate. not that we ever saw it but i definitely think ayano got to see at least once the shintaro we see who fights for good and doesn't let fear get to him like when he yells at the fucking terrorists or acts all cool when they face clearing in the novels. i think ayano got to see shintaro being Heroic or whatever and she was like THIS is the kind of guy we need to be recruiting in the mekakushi dan🔥🔥🔥 like seriously im delusional abt this but i think there should be a shinaya backstory abt this.

man i wish we saw more hs shinaya😭😭😭😭😭 im so mad that they only ever show shintaro being a fucking asshole lord in hs like im not rooting for you bitch FAST FORWARD NOW but the fact ayano knows shintaro likes music and shoujo manga etcetc its clear ayano and shintaro had normal ass conversations all the time. SHOW THEM TO MEEEEEE whatever. i dont even care <- cares

anyways i just wanted to say i think ayano does Kind of understand shintaro. i also wish we saw ayano think of shintaro in the entire conjecture with clearing eyes killing haruka and takane and her sacrificing herself for them and the mekatrio. Go listen to full disclosure from steven universe and you will understand my ayano vision for this. sorry that was weird. i think ayano wanted to keep shintaro as uninvolved as possible, haruka and takane were inevitably already in it. she just wanted to make sure to take them Out of it but shintaro.. i think ayano always had the feeling shintaro would get involved. i think ayano gravitates towards shintaro because she needed help and she needed a hero and deep down she knew this was him. but she never manages to properly reach out or even understand it i guess. but i think ayano did understand shintaro maybe even more he understood himself. on the other hand shintaro DID NOT understand ayano AT ALL but like you said, he could have. who knows how things had gone if shintaro had walked in when he saw ayano crying in the classroom!!! imagine ayano managing to pour her heart out and tell him what's gonna happen to their friends and her family. he would've helped. shintaro would've done something. but ayano wouldn't want him to bc he would get hurt but at the same time she WOULD want him to because she's so scared and alone and desperate for help *holds head *

also i always make myself insane abt shintaro and ayano being depressed legends who wanna die. while haruka and takane struggle with health problems and want to Live So Badly. sorry for bringing up harutaka Hi its me tumblr user yuukei yikes vinnie i will ALWAYS make it about harutaka. i just wanted to say that. shinaya who wanna die and tragedy arises from never meeting in the middle and not being able to understand each other vs harutaka who wanna live more than anything and tragedy arises from being forcibly separated.

ayano's words to takane when she's projecting so hard. there are times you want to tell someone something but you wind up being too late. ayano was never gonna say anything to shintaro because she didnt Want to. she knew what she was going to the roof for. while takane immediately makes a run for it to say something to haruka, she is just too late and has no control over her fate. whatever im normal!

#ask tag #kagenalysis #shinaya

[clarablightt]

this year was honestly one of the biggest years in my life just in terms of person developments! i wasn’t planning on doing a recap thingy of everything that happened, but i kinda had a lot happen?? idk im doing it anyway haha sooo…

✨2023 Recap Time✨

this year i started work on a personal writing project!! it’s nowhere near completion, but i’ve made so much progress in the span of this year that i genuinely believe it could be released some day! creating an entire fantasy world from scratch has been hard, to say the least, plus developing so many different characters, but this world has become so big and interesting and im so excited to share it with everyone!! idk what that will be, but maybe i’ll be able to share some artwork next year?? no promises tho oops

this is also the year i realized im aromantic and asexual. i genuinely didn’t think this would happen, but im so glad i finally realized myself! knowing that this is who i am has made life much easier to navigate. im now able to be true to myself without getting bogged down by the nonsense of romance and sex which is honestly great! im glad this is who i am and im proud to call myself aroace

but most importantly!! this year i met someone who has changed the course of my life for the better. i met the kindest and sweetest girl in the world who has given me the most beautiful and comforting queerplatonic relationship i could have ever asked for! the way we met honestly feels like destiny, because there’s just too many coincidences for it to simply be accidental haha

i look forward to going into the new year with her, because i know it’ll be amazing as long as she’s by my side. i love you sweetheart!! thank you for everything! ♡ ♡

in the new year i hope to… idk draw more?? definitely draw/write more. i didn’t plan how to end this uuhhh thanks for a good year tumblr! i’ll see you all next year! (bad joke bad joke)

also im tagging you in this hehe @animalsandskyyy

#it’s been a year for sure #but a good one i’d say overall!! #these are just a few things but definitely the biggest #happy new year #new year #aromantic #asexual #aroace #queerplatonic #qpr #sapphic qpr #our aroace adventure #♡ #clara says stuff

[thedamnlesbian]

Stupid Valorant pronoun/sexuality hcs that nobody asked for :D

These are headcanons, you don’t have to agree ^^!

(Warning, This is me getting used to the whole layout thing + I hc almost the entire cast as Polyamorous)

Brimstone - He/they - I have no clue what his sexuality would be - This man is a he/they in a “I use he/him but people can use they/them on me” sort of way

Omen - Any pronouns(including neos/xenos) - Polyamorous queer - I feel like Omen wouldn’t really care about what people call them, she has her likes and dislikes, but isn’t really concerned about his gender

Viper - She/it/they - Polyamorous Aroflux Lesbian - Librafeminine - Okay. This might be purely projections but I’m a firm believer that Chamber and Viper are more queer platonic partners than romantic partners, again, I might be projecting as I am aroflux myself but let me have this

Raze - She/they/art/ze/boom - Lesbian - RAZE IS A LESBIAN. NANOBOMB LESBIANS REA

Cypher - He/it - Polyamorous Bisexual - Trans man - This man is a bisexual. There’s no denying it. (+BONUS!!! Nora - She/they - Trans woman - Bisexual - I NEED MORE NORA HCS. AMIR AND NORA T4T FR!!)

Sage - She/they - Polyamorous Lesbian - Sage doesn’t look like a man liker I’m sorry(also might just be me projecting)

Sova - He/it/hush/owl - Polyamorous Gay - Trans man - Right so the neo pronouns are most definitely projections AHA . I love Sova so much he’s such a silly guy (I ship him with almost the entire masc valorant cast I shit you not)

Phoenix - He/they - Polyamorous Bisexual - I. I have no explanation for this. There is no way Phoenix is straight .

Jett - She/they - Polyamorous Pansexual - I ALSO HAVE NO EXPLANATION FOR THIS The entire valorant thing is gay as hell 

Breach - He/it/flair - Queer - Trans masc - This guy’s gender is screaming.

Reyna - It/she/eye - Polyamorous Lesbian - REYNA IS A WOMAN LIKER !!!!!! SHE KISSES WOMAN !!!! I’M SAGE I WOULD KNOW !!!!!!!

Killjoy - they/It/xe/ze/she/bot/bit/robo/robot/nano/sys/com/tech/pix/pixel/exe/dot - Lesbian - Pangender - I’m so getting yelled at for this one . LISTEN. THERE IS NO WAY THE TECH LESBIAN IS CIS. IM SORRY BUT IM NOT SORRY . KJ’S GENDER IS ROBOTS.

Skye - She/they - Ambiamorous either Bi or Pansexual - Skye is so silly, idk if she’s bi or pan, but she swings both ways 

Yoru - He/they/it - Polyamorous Bisexual - When I was first learning the game and didn’t know the names of the characters I called Yoru ‘the bisexual’, and that has been so ingrained into my mind that whenever I panic and can’t speak properly I go “AH THERE’S A BISEXUAL-”

Astra - They/she/star - Lesbian - Listen I know that Galaxsea is great but I love Astra, Skye and Harbour as a gay/bi/lesbian trio, also because I love to think of their dynamic as a siblings

KAY/O - He/It/They/Bot/Toaster - no romance - I feel like he wouldn’t describe himself as aro/ace? Mainly because he doesn’t care. The neo pronouns were given to it by KJ as a joke, but the neos ended up sticking

Chamber - He/it/gold - Polyamorous Pansexual - They guy is so desperate he will try anyone. Honestly the guy just wants to be loved but at the same time is terrified of commitment

Neon - She/they/shock - Pansexual - Neon likes everyone, I don’t make the rules(but I do)

Fade - She/they/dae - Ambiamorous Lesbian(or omni fem lean idk) - Fade kisses Viper all the time fr(Fearbite real)

Harbor - He/it - Polyamorous Gay - HE KISSES MEN !!!!!!! You cannot look at this man and tell me he doesn’t kiss men on a daily basis

Gekko - He/him - Bisexual - This dude swings both ways !! He’s definitely screamed to Reyna about his crushes :3

#valorant #valorant headcanons #brimstone valorant #omen valorant #viper valorant #raze valorant #cypher valorant #nora valorant #sage valorant #sova valorant #phoenix valorant #jett valorant #breach valorant #Reyna valorant #killjoy valorant #skye valorant #yoru valorant #astra valorant #kay/o valorant #chamber valorant #neon valorant #fade valorant #habour valorant #gekko valorant #take a shot every time I project on these character #please dont #you will die #I am so normal about valorant

[localowlhousefanatic]

Tag game!

so, i just discovered that the fanfic question id ussualy answer around this time is out of commision, so im making a tag game! for some reason the only thing i can think of is a poem-ish thing (it rhymes, thats the poem part.) for a list, so thats what we're going with! First ill give you an explanation of the question, before providing my own answer! With all of these, feel free to add a link to the story uyou're pulling from

something old

(here, please provide a bit you wrote a bit ago from an older fic taht you like! Is the question referring to an old fic you like, or a bit? you decide!)

my answer:

As she tugged on the cord next to the window, Masha couldn’t help but be reminded of a stage play by the way the warm, orange sunlight hit their mother- like a spotlight turning on at the lifting of the curtain. The angle also didn’t help, Placing Masha in such a position that mom was framed as a silhouette, like they were watching from the wings at the opening moments of a play.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47992501)

something new

(here, provide your favorite bit from among the three most recent things you've either published or worked on. Why three? Idk, maybe this post works by fairytale logic now)

my answer:

That isn’t to say that there’s no blue around her- there’s plenty, just not the Blue that matters. Theres the Blue streetlights, casting a light that’s almost negligible in the screaming buzz of neon billboards and signs, some of which are blue. The light- so sharp and loud its almost toxic- Cuts through the rain, and bounces off of the layer of water covering the street, and fills the thin mist that’s gathering above the ground, giving the entire street the feeling of being a mix of nightclub and dream. There’s blue everywhere around Red, but it only serves to remind her of the overwhelming need inside her- it’s like handing a cold person a candle, providing just enough warmth to dangle the possibility of comfort in front of them, but not nearly enough to stave off the cold.

Something borrowed,

(sharing time! share a bit from, or a fic, you enjoy from someone else. please credit your sources though)

my answer:

This is just a really good fic. Its also by a really good writer, who deserves all the love

Something Blue

If youve been wondering why ive coloured the headers up until this point, heres your answer: the blue bit.

(please either share a bit/fic you wroite taht made you, teh author , sad. And for those of us who dont do taht often, just provide something you think of with something blue. This might be getting a bit weird now, sorry.)

whoops, ive used my blue bits already at the top. Well, i did just remeber teh one other time i focussed on the colour blue. behold,

 The girl that was looking back at them was dressed impeccably, Masha noted. She was wearing a long royal blue trenchcoat, the type you would expect on a noir detective. Gods, I want that coat. They also noted the fact that it was a crumpled mess. A coat shouldn’t be so messy and yet look so good on someone, they thought with a pang of jealousy. The coat wasn’t the only thing that was a mess though. The girl wearing it looked like she hadn’t slept in a while, indicated by light bags under her eyes that she obviously hadn’t tried to conceal.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47040430/chapters/118509421)

im sorry for the slight mess that was this post, i hope you people can have fun with it. I think that im supposed to give you numbers here or something, but i dont know that many writers here, so ill just tell you to tag who you want

following my own advice: @topheecoffee @queereldritch @oh-cramity-its-amity @sky-neverending @bonpocalypse @usernamemybeloathed

and for a riskier tag, @captainimprobable

#tag game #fanfiction

[opinated-user]

Genuine question? Do you guys hate what lily writes because you think stuff like that shouldnt be written or because she has done it irl/thinks its not bad irl?

Idk im probably missing a lot of context, but when reading about what yall have to say about the stuff she writes it reads like you think thats stuff shouldnt exist in fiction and is a reflection of anyone who writes that kind of stuff.

Im still against LO because what shes done is completely fucked and i can tell from the evidence ive seen that she definitely projects onto her work, and tries to cover it up.

But i cant agree that people who write or enjoy that kind of content are automatically fucked up or cant see the difference between enjoying such topics in fiction and in reality. If that's what you're trying to say.

i said many times (but not lately so that's my fault there) that if all LO ever wrote was stockholm or any other fic i'd have never cared about her as much as to do a whole blog dedicated to her. i won't read that kind of content out of anything more than morbid curiosity, but i also don't care about existing by itself and as long people aren't trying to shove it to my face without warning, i don't care for the readers either. if i honestly thought that LO wrote all of that just to be an edgelord and there's nothing more to it, she doesn't actually believe any of it or isn't sincere about it, then you wouldn't even see me talking about it in the first place. the issue here is, as you pointed out, that LO clearly project herself a lot through her works, that even she admits are self indulgent and a power fantasy for her, that she said explicitely that she uses them to deal with her "issue with intimacy"... and those work also happened to be the ones where there is a very consistent abuse/pedophilia apology theme all through out. LO is the one who talks about how she sincere is on her works and how much they mean to her, so you can't make the argument "fiction vs reality" here because she's not treating it like that. she's treating her stories as thing she'd actually like to happen and when those things include raping children and women while they're unconscious, only to later be lauded as the good guy exactly because of that raping, i think that's very valid to call out.

LO does not want there to be a separation between herself and her art. so let's not make it. again, in case it wasn't clear, this is entirely a LO thing. not about bad things happening in fiction that i don't like.

#lily orchard

[starry-sky-orchestra]

Let's make smiles bloom, anytime, everywhere! (WONDERHOY~!★)

welcome to my blog! (or welcome back if you knew me before i went by this user)

name: christy or papu either is fine

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: pansexual omniromantic

i am certified the prettiest princess in the entire world. bow down to me or else you get the guillotine grrr

-pls use tone tags when ur talking to me it makes a big big difference!!!!!

-possibly neurodivergent

-uh i apologize a lot and im really sensitive so. uh. jus like reassure me a lot ig

-if you call me a dry texter i will literally block you. /j but srsly not every1 is the best at talking..

-i have an agere blog which is basically my alt so follow that one if u want too. or not.

DNI: proshippers, anti antis(?? idk what this means but i see this in a lot of profiles), freakstarries, whatever weird pjsk fans call themselves, basic dni criteria ykyk, if u think age regression is a kink. it isn't. go fuck yoursel- if you support Sara_mjrb/lord_sara_gaming or mizumi-kagaho

social time whoohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

discord: ask in dms

youtube: pan_pan_papu

tumblr: ur here already.

wattpad: coming soon?? maybe????????

fandoms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

project sekai

danganronpa (well. barely.)

anime in general but most of the subreddits on reddit fucking suck. theyre all either weirdos or homophobic (as in, i like yuri but yaoi is EWWWWW guys cant like guys!! i wld fuck alstolfo tho)

bubble guppies

rugrats

mewkledreamy

sanrio in general

im joining a lot of fandoms every day. too many to remember

parappa the rapper

cardcaptor sakura

mario

nintendo

animal crossing

shima shima tora no shimajiro

ojamajo doremi

little witch academia

idolmaster

ummmm im hypersexual so like im more. weirder. than other people

fanfic writer. kind of. i have 200 million fankids and i will write about them ALL

i am probably the only shima shima tora no shimajiro fan ever. like im being serious its not that well known out of japan

i like karaoke!!!!!! kind of! its fun <3

also. i am being serious about potty training being my special intrest. pls dont think im weird.

if u ever wonder why all my fankids are so young/why i usually draw pjsk characters younger than they acc are then. ur reason is here.

-my art is fucking ass. like seriously its so terrible its the worst thing you have ever see

-i love emukasa (pjsk ship) like so much. LIKE SO MUCH. THEY ARE THE BEST M/F PJSK SHIP RIGHT NEXT TO RUINENE AND TOUKOHA

-speaking of, if u dont like wxs m/f or vbs m/f dni. like imagine being pressed over two teenagers kissing. that is so silly. anyways most of my ships are m/f i dont know why i have a lot of m/m and f/f ships tho. there is no way you can convince me haruka kiritani is straight she is a girl kisser. same w airi.

-mahou shoujo has my heart and soul <33

-i love ken shiraishi. whoever made an's dad design i love you so much he is such a dilf bro

-professional shitposter

-this is rlly cringe to admit. but. im one of those fictional other people ig? my f/o is arisa mochida from the hit game idolmaster cinderella girls starlight stage

anyways my tags are

fanfics - fanfics. obvi.

ok thats it idk what else to write

oh damn i made this too long. anyways. heres my carrd. it looks better on phone.

ok goodbye

#intro post #introduction #introductory post #intro

[daydadahlias]

is there anything you want to rant/talk about rn?

YO are you spying on me rn??? how did u know i was whining to my friends right this very second about the same thing that upset me today, you little minx??

anyway hehe, off with the rant <3 (it's entirely personal btw it has nothing to do w/ 5sos but i sure will take the opportunity to rant any time i can and it's ur fault for letting me have it)

what's currently happening in jess world (or, well, the abridged version) is that im a loafy lad, right? im on the plumper, more pumpkin-shaped side. and that is not a bad thing!! one might even say it's a great thing. id survive winter no problem. and, so, today my friend (i shall name her Macaroni bc im eating macaroni rn), Macaroni, asked me if I wanted this skirt she has in her closet.

now... ive coveted this skirt for a year. when she wears it, i always fawn over it and i compliment her and i LOVE it etc etc. so when she asked if i wanted it i was like OMG?? YES???? and i was literally so fucking elated at the opportunity.

and she told me "yeah, i just dont think im gonna wear it anymore" and i was like aw ok!! well it looks great on you <3 but i will absolutely take it off ur hands bc i LOVEEE it. and then, as she was handing it over to me, she said "yeah, it's just too big for me" which kind of. stopped me in my tracks. bc i was like. woah. u... didnt need to say that. Also, Macaroni is - like me - on the rounder side. Again, not a bad thing, she's fucking beautiful. but we're pretty similar sizes. and so a skirt that's too big on her will probably be too big on me too. and i pointed this out to her and i was like "oh, well,, then idk if it's gonna fit me either?"

and Macaroni got actively offended that i had insinuated such a thing. and she went "we're not the same size" and i was like ?? yeah we are ?? so we measured our hip size and it was the SAME and she said "this cannot be right" and was actively distressed by this. so she made us measure again and this time held her hands closer together so she would look smaller than me and was like "no see, you're bigger."

and it all really hurt my feelings but i just took it in stride; anyway, went to try on the skirt tonight, LO AND BEHOLD GUESS WHAT'S TOO FUCKING BIG FOR ME TOO. anyway, the moral of the story is, don't project ur insecurities onto others!! and dont make comments about other people's bodies, especially ur friends, bc it's really fucked up!! and now my feelings are really hurt bc my friend acted actively disgusted when i insinuated we were the same size even though we are <3 bc im a fat ugly cow to her or whatever <3 teehee

TL;DR: i got a free skirt :)

#pigeon #anon #u dont have to read that but im going thru it tonight and i still have to take a midterm asdfgjkl #jess world is chaos rn sigh

[agalnamedlunasea]

*shakes a bag of treats to lure out your DR headcanons*

Psspsspsspsspss

ALRIGHT YOU’VE CONVINCED ME but im putting this under a readmore bc ive got charts and shit

Sexuality

Aspec

Gender

SO I think the charts mostly speak for themselves? I definitely don't have the energy to go into *every* individual person nor do I necessarily have much to say about some of em, so I'll only go into detail about ones I have particularly strong thoughts about/ things to say. But feel free to ask specifics! Can't guarantee I'll be able to answer but still. ANYWAY SO

I wanna start by saying I am the least confident in my aspec headcanons? They're extremely flexible moment to moment and I'm not attached to many of them. I could see almost anyone almost anywhere with only a handful of exceptions, honestly

I almost put a "cis but they've still got something goin on" category on the gender one,,, I woulda put the antags, Yasuhiro, Sonia, Angie, Gonta, maybe a couple others in there,,,

Not really represented here but im a big fan of genderfluid imposter and byakuya

All the protags are trans, and also they're all bi except komaru, fun fact 👍

Literally all of em are queer in some fashion, as you can tell from the fact that I forgot to put a "straight" category on the chart...

Anyway some in particular that im fond of that ive not really talked about before:

I love love love hc Aoi as a nonbinary lesbian. Its like,, lowkey projection,,, but I think its supported by the text. She's got some hang-ups surrounding womanhood and being a woman and how that relates to her relationship with men (im thinking specifically of her last fte). I think it would be a nice resolution to that struggle for her to shed the expectations she feels entirely and embrace who she is, even if its different from what she feels like she's "supposed" to be. Idk I think its a natural conclusion

I enjoy nonbinary chihiro for a similar reason. I think it would also be a natural conclusion to her struggles with gender and what masculinity and femininity means to them

And somewhat related I hc sakura as a cis lesbian also bc of her struggles with femininity?? I like the idea of her conclusion being to embrace her femininity wholeheartedly. She enjoys being feminine but has a hard time reconciling that with her strength. Id like to see her enjoy both of those things about her

Hm i wonder if those say anything about me, im not projecting even a little bit

I hc that akane is pan but for the longest time she just. Doesn't realize not everyone is like that? It was never even something to think about for her. Like she'll be talking to nekomaru and she's like "really you've never thought a girl was hot? Never? Men, I get ya, but *no* girls? That's possible?" And nekomaru gives her the most disappointed stare.

Idk why but nagito and nekomaru being the only gay men on the island is a lil funny to me

Also. I read a singular fic where nagito was demisexual and I was like ok you've convinced me (can you tell. I am. Easily convinced. About this kind of thing)

I go back and forth on whether I hc izuru as pan or aroace. Things like gender don't really matter to him, I just can't decide how that would work in terms of attraction for him 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I would just like to call attention to transfem hiroko hagakure. Good for her

Rantaro. Feels v aroace to me. In that way where everyone who likes men is like "wow he's so pretty I can't believe he doesn't have a partner id love to date him I wonder if he's interested in anyone" and then he's just like "hey you guys check out this cool thing I found". Like the reverse of bi but noone wants him. Attractive but doesn't want anyone. I can see aspec tho. But that boy is definitely not allo

Once again. Idk why. But kiyotaka, nekomaru, nagito, and kokichi being the only gay men on the chart. Is a lil funny to me. Idk Idk Idk

Ummmm I think thats most of what I wanna say??? I might elaborate more another time but there's that 👍

#HI enjoy the word vomit #honestly most of these are just what i think and im really fine w almost any interpretation of the characters #there's only like two or three that i really cant see any other way #anyway thank yall for enabling me #danganronpa #dear god im not tagging everyone #queer headcanons #lgbtq headcanons #trans headcanon #al answers asks #also sorry this took like. two days lol