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#like where are the locals why is everyone in Half-Life someone who used to work at Black Mesa
techni-kolor · 11 months
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Meursault’s Origins
Hello everyone! (Or the approx 4 and a half people who will view this!) 
I was wondering recently why Meursault’s appearance in the anime/manga looked so damn familiar and it FINALLY clicked tonight! And I decided to share my likely insane revelation. Hint: It involves someone we already know.
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My theory is that Meursault is an experiment that was based on Arthur Rimbaud’s ability “Illuminations” and then later perfected after the war had finished. From what we know about the Great War in the BSD Universe it involved a fair amount of ability users! From spies-- Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Verlaine, to medics-- Yosano Akiko, Mori Ougai, to soliders-- Fukuchi Ochi, Fukuzawa Yukichi, even experimental life forms designed to turn the tide of a war-- Nakahara Chuuya. Basically the whole war became a clash of abilities so strong and volatile that it nearly tore the whole world apart. And who do we know who is fantastic at containing volatile entities/abilities and served in the war on the side of France? Mr. Randou himself. 
Exhibit A: The location of the prison itself. France is the known origin country of Arthur Rimbaud. He served the DGSS in it’s field operations division for many years there and remained loyal to them until losing his memories. I always found it odd that Meursault was in Western Europe since most of the major conflict arcs take place locally in Japan but this could explain the significance. Meursault itself is also a French word which could be another tie or simply a clue to its precise location. 
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Exhibit B + C: We know that Illuminations is capable of containing extremely powerful abilities within its hyperspace AND capable of restraining Dazai when needed. Rimbaud literally retrieved an entity who defies the laws of physics in the form of Arahabaki and was also easily able to work around the possibility of nullification when battling Dazai in the Fifteen Arc by simply encasing him within a sub-sub space of his ability.  
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Exhibit D: French researcher Pan and the existence of Black No. AKA Paul Verlaine. We already know that experimentation was happening in France at the hands of a citizen and that when the DGSS became aware they halted it. However, we know that the information gathered by these trials was not destroyed as it falls into the hands of the Japanese Government a short time later leading to ...
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(Suribachi City built in the aftermath of Arahabki emerging due to war time experiments.) 
We don’t know exactly why the information was never destroyed. Unless there was reason to keep it under government power rather than riding the world of unethical, immoral instructions on human lab rats. Something like using it in further experiments themselves? 
Exhibit E: This is likely painfully obvious but it just looks similar! The yellow, glowing, floating squares evoke the same imagery. Which I admit could be a coincidence and why the cells are rounded rather than squares in the anime ... but the yellow, shimmering look is interesting. 
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Now ... why would such a thing be needed? And why would such a thing exist specifically in times of war? Well I thought about and decided that maybe Meursault has a darker history than we imagined. I wonder if Mersault was designed to house prisoners of war. A prison that could entrap any ability user for an indefinite period of time sounds rather helpful when the enemy has strong Gifteds, right? Imagine Mori’s troops without Yosano Akiko or Japan losing Fukuchi Ochi’s Mirror Lion ability for combat? It could easily turn the tide of the war if enough ability users were removed from the battle field. It’s only once the war is over that it is converted to a maximum security prison 
And maybe all the other sneaky experiments contained within its walls are halted ,,, dense water anyone? It would suck to be waterboarded with as an enemy spy or to surround important locations where you do not want enemy forces marching into. Interesting technology at the very least and quite possibly the result of another gravity manipulator? Someone else we know? Such as Paul Verlaine, another French spy who was involved in experiments himself? It’s all very intriguing, my friends! 
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okay, it's been a couple of hours and nobody asked yet, so *now* i am asking about Downey
First impression
I first met him in Hogfather and I was like: WHO IS THIS MAN AND CAN WE HAVE MORE OF HIM???
Then in Men at Arms I was like: YES, THIS ASSHOLE. HE HAS RETURNED, IF BRIEFLY. I was so chuffed when he became head of the Guild.
In Nigh Watch I just was like: please lord in heaven, I need more of this ABSOLUTE MENACE of a man. Why are we always reading about the Watch and Vimes? I give 0 shits about him. Give me more of this asshole of an assassin and his love of dogs and insects.
Impression now
I mean, Favourite. I love him. He can do no wrong. He should, in fact, be more of a menace and a nuisance to everyone.
I feel like I've rambled enough about Downey on this blog for most people to know my views on him. But I do like that the bits of information we have on him paint a surprisingly complex picture for someone who gets like five to ten minutes of page time whenever he's in a book.
As I know you and I have discussed this before, but I love the example of: We know that in his late forties/early fifties he listens for the Hogfather's arrival (and knows he is real, this is not a widely accepted thing in AM). Think of seventeen-year old Downey, what a lout he was, what an absolute prick, what an unaware and childish youth, who grew up to be a man who knows the Hogfather is real, listens for him on Hogswatch Eve while he's up late working (on a holiday), and has an open door policy for his students should they ever need him. A man who is described as amiable and gentlemanly with a kind smile (just don't eat a humbug if he offers you one. Some of Downey's chaotic and destructive tendencies remain into adulthood). Like, that's some Growth.
And to the Vetinari Ask that I got - I think that's the thing we don't see with Vetinari. There's no evident growth. Downey clearly has gone through some phenomenal changes to go from That Asshole at seventeen to the caring Guild leader at fifty. Still a snob and still a bit of a class a bastard, to be sure, some things don't change, but there was clearly still a lot of goddamn growth that happened. And that's interesting!
Anyway, love this mad lad.
Favorite moment
Probably Gaspode's description of Downey to Angua in Men at Arms where he's like "yeah, we like Downey. He gives us treats and pets, lets us roam and romp about Guild grounds, and also kills a lot of people very successfully. We street hounds are Pro-Downey for Guild Leader" and Angua is like ".....thanks?"
The Night Watch bit with him is also a favourite moment. He's so awkward and horrible and I love him. Even Ludo is like sighing and going, "For some reason that man is my best friend and I don't know why."
(tbf we don't know if Ludo and Downey were friends, there's no evidence in canon to this effect, but I've head-canoned they are so roll with it.)
Idea for a story
I want more Downey & Jocelyn adventures because I love Jocelyn.
I would love a story of Downey and Vetinari and the rest of the usual crew (Vimes, Sybil, Angua etc.) out on some sort of diplomatic mission to idk, Brindisi or something. But it's one of those diplomatic trips that are half-holiday half-work.
Downey is just wine-drunk constantly on the good Brindisi wine and trying to explain to Vimes how wine tasting works and Vimes is like "I don't drink and also it seems fake to me" and Downey is like "you're such a plebian". Sybil is nerding out on local dragon hatcheries that are initiating a new conservation program. She comes back covered in dirt and mud with her hair sticking up at all angles and crowing about the latest thing she saw and Vimes is like "that woman is the love of my life."
Vetinari is the only one actually doing anything useful but he makes Downey come with him to schmooze the local nobility because I've always weirdly head-canoned Downey's family as being of Brindisi extraction for some reason. Anyway, Downey is at these functions being all Posh and stuff and someone is like "Downey, Downey - you're Amos' boy aren't you?" And Downey is like, ".........I have this distinction, yes." Afterwards he refuses to go to functions until he can vet the list of attendees.
Vimes just grouses about the food and Downey is like "try the squid ink noodles, they're great" and Vimes is like "absolutely not." Vetinari is just like "ok, question Downey, who looked at squid ink and thought: I should put that on the pasta?" and Downey is like, "Someone with a great love for aesthetics. So probably an assassin."
Anyway, things are gently chaotic in their usual fashion until some sort of crises happens. Downey needs to either steal something or inhume someone or both. It becomes an insane heist story at this point and everyone is piled onto a tricycle going downhill at top speeds with no breaks.
Unpopular opinion
Like you, I think he's smart. He's not Vetinari levels of smart, but no one is because Vetinari is inhuman/impossible levels of smart. But you don't survive Snapcase and the politics of the Assassins Guild eventually become Master of the Guild while being a complete buffoon.
So I think he's savvy, he's good at politcking to a certain degree, he's got a half-decent risk-assessment matrix built into his brain. We know he's a good assassin, and that takes some skill and intelligence.
So yeah, I think he's smarter than he's sometimes portrayed. Even the canon is annoyingly inconsistent/illogical when it comes to this. Because TP wants him to be the butt of a joke and TP goes for people being "stupid" as funny so, that leads to illogical character actions when you look at them in the broader context of their own history and the world they operate in.
Favorite relationship
Aside from Vetinari?
I like the implications of there being a bit of a Downey-Mrs Palm-Boggis triumvirate in the City Council. Downey is clearly looked down on by Venturi and Selachii since he's a "jumped up" lord, not from their class. So they'll all ally together when it suits them, as we see in a few of the books, but they're not regular bedfellows.
Downey seems to be friendly with the older Lord Rust, Vimes certainly seems to think that they are friends, but unclear with the son/younger Rust. How much is the two actually liking each other or Rust doing the "noblesse oblige" by taking the new blood under his wing is never stated.
But whenever Downey is really getting into mischief and mucking about doing nonsense its with Mrs Palm or Boggis or both and I really like that. I think it says something his malleability. He goes up and down the class ladder, basically, in terms of friendships and political allies. Which is an interesting data point on someone as snobby as Downey.
Favorite headcanon
The canon is that Downey is a "jumped up" lord. This is stated in the books. I head-canon that he's more jumped up than he wants people to know. I always write his parentage as being very mercantile - his father is in trade. A merchant who still has his hands in the business, rather than letting others run it on his behalf. And his family is rich, absolutely rolling in it, but they're not One Of Us.
So when he goes to the Guild as a student Downey hyper-performs everything (class, masculinity, posturing and compensating all over the place) in order to be accepted by his colleagues there as one of the nobility, or veritable nobility. Doesn't work to the degree he would like it to, of course. But dad's wealth does help to bandage over some things.
This is also why he's fixated on Doing the Done Thing/Social Rules. I don't think Downey has many morals (he has maybe five (5) morals), but he does place great value on being included by those whom he esteems as Cool and will follow behavioural rules to allow him access and acceptability from those people. The Rules are also what ensures him social and political standing and safety, which he values. Also, I think from a young age Downey figured that if he Does the Done Thing he'll be able to crack the code of climbing the social ladder and so he gets weird and pissed off when people don't follow The Done Thing yet are still somehow part of his class world (e.g., Vimes after he marries Sybil).
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Thank you! :D :D I do love our favourite inhumation man
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animatorweirdo · 2 years
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Imagine being there to witness everything and watching your beloved die
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(Well, this is almost an series forth headcanon. I do love some angst in stories, but this one was sad one to write, so be aware of the warnings)
Requested by anonymous
Warnings; ANGST, violence, goes a lot with the canon, doomed love and doing nothing to save the day. Angst level cruesome. 
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- You know how the story goes. You loved every Tolkien’s work, the most favorite being the lord of the rings and the hobbits. However, you did not expect to get thrown into the same world at the point where it all began. 
-You have read Silmarillion and know its deep history, so you know how it all went. You did not know how to react because the first age was all about war and bloodshed over three jewels everyone was obsessed with having. 
-Meeting the valars and the infamous elves was something, so those parts were exciting, at least. 
-Most of the time, when someone gets suddenly transported to another world. It was either mysterious or reincarnation, like in every fanfic and novel you managed to cross.
-Surprisingly, you had a purpose in Arda. 
-There was a voice who asked you to record history firsthand, then you woke up in the gardens of Lorien with an empty book in your hands. 
-The valars were uncertain when you spoke about your situation to them. You were a human and appeared out of nowhere. They did conclude the mysterious voice who brought you to Arda was Eru himself. 
-They believed your story, but since humans were not supposed to awaken yet. They made you wear enchanted earrings that helped you to appear as an elf to the firstborn. 
-They then gave you a tour around Aman and allowed you to walk freely. 
-It was exciting because you had the chance to meet all the famous elves from the books like Galadriel, Fingon, and Finrod. Well, the whole Finwean house itself. You even bore witness to the family drama between Fingolfin and Feanor himself. 
-Feanor was scary as hell. He always looked like he always had a scowl on his face and appeared as Noldor prince should, but surprisingly he was pretty chill when you went to meet him with a Vanyar noble, who also acted like your guide. 
-He was respectful and welcoming, which was a surprise when you know what he would later do for his most prized creations. You used to think of him as a bit self-centered and arrogant for a character, so it was a lovely surprise that he might have been an average person until the grief and loss of the silmarils got him. 
-However, the scowl always returned when any of his half side of the family was around. You did not know why, but it was funny to watch. It was like their existence was a war crime against his life. 
-You didn’t have much to do in the beginning and had no idea what to write since you knew what would happen in the future. You chose not to write anything about the future because you didn’t want to change the course of the story. Even the tiniest change could change the story drastically, so you desired to avoid that. 
-Living as an elf was fun for a while, but it got boring pretty quickly. 
-You sometimes wrote things you saw in events, but sometimes you simply wrote stuff like you saw a squirrel one day. 
-The elves were also too refined and collected. You missed human things like wild parties and shenanigans without too many rules. 
-Maybe you were too human for an elf. 
-Also, your earrings were itchy as hell. You have several times almost removed them in front of elves till you remember you’re not an elf, which was troublesome because you were not used to wearing earrings 24/7. 
-It almost happened again when you were chilling in a local garden, and your ears itched like lice. You tried to make sure no one was around and tried to scratch the spot until someone suddenly appeared out of thin air, scaring the soul out of you. 
-It was awkward, and the special someone was the red-haired prince Maedhros or Nelyafinwe Maitimo since Maedhros was his sindaring name. 
-He smiled in embarrassment and apologized for the scare. You were scratching your ears quite aggressively, and he heard you curse like a sailor, so he was curious if you were alright.
-You quickly assured him everything was alright and told him you just had itchy ears. 
-To your surprise, he was fully aware of who you were from a party you once attended with the Vanyar. You looked nothing like the golden-haired people, so he was curious to meet you. 
-You told him your made-up background as an elf, then the conversation flowed from there like a breeze. 
-He was super sweet and knew how to keep the conversation going. 
-You know how to talk with people, but you felt shy around him and couldn't help but just listen while he spoke. 
-You almost couldn't believe this tall redhead was this innocent and kind before all the atrocities his house would later commit for the sake of the oath. 
-You thought it was going to be one time encounter, and he kind of gave you a nickname, the itchy-eared maiden. It was an embarrassing nickname. 
-However, you started meeting up much more and hanging out like two casual friends. 
-You learned a lot about his family and brought you to meet some, especially Fingon, who was super friendly. 
-You liked hanging out and going out with him, but then you realized something. You had an actual crush on this elf. 
-Sure, you might have simped for some fictional characters in life, but since you were actually in Arda and got to know him as a person. You knew it was real. 
-It was wrong since you know how the story goes, and you promised not to tamper with it by including yourself, but you couldn't help but feel conflicted since Maedhros continued being sweet, and you just adored that aspect of him since he was like that with everyone. 
-You hoped it was temporal, so you decided to have a little break and excuse you were busy with other things. 
-Maedhros was understanding when you said you had some business and wished you well till you see each other again. You felt bad because you were technically avoiding him. You did not want to lie, but you had to. You can’t utterly fall in love with him. Even though; you most likely already have. 
-He just made it worse by telling you you could count on him if you had troubles with your business. 
-You left quickly, trying to think through your feelings for him. 
-You stopped at Alqualonde, and some of your friends there didn’t make it easy when you revealed your feelings for someone. They kept encouraging you. 
-Your crush calmed down a little because you told yourself that he might think of you as a good friend, not a possible lover. 
-However, he didn’t make it easy when he started sending letters to you, asking how you were doing and keeping you updated on his family drama. It was falling hard for feelings all over again. 
-You were stupidly in love with him. It turned out to be a grave mistake because you realized too late that the events of the Silmarillion were taking place. 
-You agreed to meet with Maedhros one day and catch up. You dumbed on a strange tall man, and when you saw him, you almost froze. 
-You had seen a lot of descriptions and fan art about the dark valar, but seeing him with your own two eyes was something else. 
-Melkor was tall and eerily beautiful in his way, but the way he spoke left you to have goosebumps. And you almost shivered because he looked like he knew something was strange about you, especially when he asked about your book. 
-Luckily, Maedhros came to the rescue and helped you leave the conversation and leave the dark Vala's sight. 
-You panicked when Maedhros told you Melkor had been free for a while, which meant the story had started.
-It took all your willpower to have a panic attack. Things were about to go down, and you didn’t take notice because you were too busy living your life in this world. 
-Maedhros sensed your distress and comforted you. He thought you were afraid of Melkor, so he tried to assure things were okay. You appreciated the effort. But you were not certain about accepting his affection when you knew what was coming. 
-You watched from the side when things started to go down. The family drama in the house of Finwe became dire, and you were there when Feanor threatened Fingolfin with a sword. 
-Maedhros tried to offer his comfort from time to time, but his family got banished for a while, and the pressure almost became too hard to handle since he stopped sending letters. 
-You returned to Alqualonde, trying to calm your nerves. You even begged Eru to send you back to your world because you didn’t want to witness what was coming.
-You wrote everything in the book, but it didn’t ease the ache and fear for the future. 
-You went for a walk one night to calm down your nerves and admire the stars. It helped for a moment until everything went dark. 
-It was pitch black, and you couldn’t see anything. Luckily, the stars showed enough light then the realization hit you. It's the darkening of the trees. 
-You were alone, so it was terrifying, especially when you saw the giant spider and Melkor with the silmarils in his hands. It was like a force struck you down because you couldn't move when you saw them. 
-Luckily, they didn’t notice you, so you were left unscathed. You couldn't say much about Finwe thought. 
-The fear left you frozen for a while, but you managed to get yourself free and return to Alqualonde. 
-However, what you saw next were fire and blood. 
-Maedhros stood among the fire, blade in his hands, coated with blood. You recognized many faces that lay around him, dead. 
-You felt like deer in headlights because you got frozen with shock. You have never seen death before, so your body wasn’t reacting well. 
-Maedhros tried to catch your attention, trying to make an excuse, but when he took hold of your arm. You panicked and started struggling in fear. You pushed his face away with the blood of his victims and ran away when you got free. You ignored his calls and just ran. 
-The aftermaths weren’t pretty. You remained hidden with a couple of Teleri and helped them when things calmed down.
-There were so many dead. You felt awful because some were your friends and neighbors. They never did anything wrong, so they didn’t deserve it. 
-Fingon found you mourning in the street. You told him about Maedhros, and he felt awful because he and his father helped the feanorians with the conflict. He almost broke down because you lived in the city and most of the Teleri were your friends. 
-You didn’t honestly blame him because you knew what would happen next. Fingon was at least kind enough to help you bury your telerin friends. 
-Even though; you shouldn't have. You decided to join the journey through Helcaraxe after burning the ships. The event didn’t surprise you, but you did wonder what Maedhros thought as he watched his family burn the stolen ships. 
-The journey through the icy wasteland was brutal, more horrific than in the books. 
-You watched as Turgon’s wife died, leaving him with their only child. You watched as the elves struggled and died from the cold, and they couldn't do anything to avoid it than curse Feanor and his sons. 
-You tried to hold on to good memories with Maedhros, but it wasn’t easy. 
-You took time to rest and record everything when you finally reached Middle earth. The sun was finally born, so you embraced the day. 
-Fingolfin’s people were tired and pissed with the feanorians. You couldn't blame them. You were angry and hungry as hell. 
-You weren’t surprised when they told Maedhros had been captured. It was going to happen, but it didn’t stop you worry about him because Angband was an evil place. You didn’t want to imagine the tortures he would suffer. 
-You gave Fingon a hint when you caught him sneaking out to save Maedhros. It wasn’t too revealing. You said you just made some investigation about Angband. 
-Fingon was grateful and returned with Maedhros upon the great eagle. 
-You avoided confrontation until you got worried about him when he received backlash for giving up the crown and being a former thrall. 
-He looked broken, so you mustered the courage to talk to him. 
-Maedhros didn’t look you in the eye when you arrived. He only asked why you followed. You saw what he did to your home. 
-You did not know the answer. Your task was to record the history that was about to happen, but at this moment, you were just worried. 
-His eyes were filled with guilt when he turned to look at you. It broke your heart to see that, so you just stayed with him, offering comfort and company like all those years ago. 
-You didn’t see each other often. Maedhros was busy with his duties, and you continued writing down everything in the book. 
-You would spend time together, drinking and talking. 
-You kept him informed and sometimes used dry humor to describe how cruel and stupid his father was to abandon a loyal addition to the army just to spite his half-brother for one final time. 
-Maedhros allowed you to talk like that because he agreed and felt even more guilty when you told everything that happened in Helcaraxe. 
-You sometimes helped him with his hair since he had trouble with one hand. It was to help him relax, and you enjoyed the calm silence it would bring. 
-Maedhros was hardened, but he was still that sweet elf you met in the garden all those years ago, and your still existent feelings didn’t make your situation easy. 
-You tried to avoid your feelings, pushing yourself to be an unimportant character who technically doesn’t exist to anyone. 
-However, you noticed some things about Maedhros. 
-He was more gentle with you than anyone else and didn’t refuse anything when you asked him for little favors. Fingon does it too, and he was the high king.
-He said he didn’t have the right to refuse anything from you after what happened. When he wronged the Teleri, he wronged you, so he was willing to do anything you wanted. 
-You would have thought it was sweet, but it was just sad because the Teleri deserved the compensation, not you. 
-Things didn’t look up when the battle of the unnumbered tears finally happened, and you lost Fingon. 
-You can still remember the moment when you hugged him one last time before the battle because you knew it would be his last.  
-You wished you could have done something because the pain was unbearable when Maedhros brought back his mangled body. 
-You wished you could have done something, but you didn’t want to change the timeline. It would have been too dangerous and unpredictable. 
-Maedhros turned for the worse, and you tried to support him, but it wasn’t enough. 
-You wished you could have interfered and stopped him from making the worse mistakes, but you kept telling yourself you couldn't because it was not in your right to change anything.
-You watched as he killed more elves for his damned oath and everything just went wrong.
-You stopped talking for a while because you focused on trying to help raise Erenion because he was the last thing you two had from Fingon. 
-Maedhros sometimes sent letters, asking how you two were doing and if someone was causing you trouble. Nothing else. 
-You tried asking yourself why you kept forgiving and seeing him, knowing his fate was near. Maybe because of your feelings. Because you still loved him and hoped there might be an alternative ending.
-The day finally arrived, and you met little Elrond and Elros. 
-They looked innocent, and you never imagined meeting the lord of Rivendel when he was just a little child. Pure yet subjected to violence at such a young age. 
-You already knew the explanation Maedhros and Maglor were going to give you, so you just tried to welcome the little twins with open arms. 
-It was peaceful for a while. The twins warmed up to you quickly and enjoyed all the stories you had to offer. They were just the sweetest beings in the world. 
-You and Maedhros barely talked at first, but he slowly opened up and apologized for failing everything. You wanted to forgive him but couldn't. 
-You and Maedhros sometimes stayed all night, admiring the stars and drinking something warm with blankets. You two sometimes talked about better things that could have happened. 
-It was peaceful, and your little group started to feel like a family. You hoped things would have turned out well in the end, but they didn’t. 
-Maedhros and Maglor decided to give the twins to you and go for the last silmarils. You knew begging would do nothing, but you asked Maedhros to consider and not leave you.
-He looked at your tear-struck eyes, stepping closer to cup your face as you both looked into each other’s eyes for the last time with sadness and guilt. 
-He whispered words in forbidden Quenya and apologized one last time because he would not be able to fulfill your wish this time before placing a gentle kiss upon your forehead. 
-He then left. 
-You watched as he stole the silmaril and jumped into the fiery pits of the earth. You watched as Maglor threw the silmaril into the sea and vanished to forever lament the wrongdoings of their house in regret. 
-You were glad for them since the oath was finally gone, but it didn’t heal the pain of knowing you could have done something, yet you did nothing to spare them from this fate. 
-You sat upon the cliff, gazing into the ocean as the book lay on your lap. The first age was over, so you were finished. You begged the voice to let you go home, but no answer came from heaven. 
-You finally broke after hundreds of years. 
-Years of watching from the sides and watching the one you love kill himself finally got to you. You got left with nothing but a task you did not want in the first place and earrings so you could appear as a fake elf. You did not belong in this world, so why couldn't you leave?
-You did not move until Elrond and Elros came looking for you. They sensed your distress like it was their own, but to their shock, you revealed your ears and told them the truth of your existence. 
-You expected them to hate you because that’s what you deserved. However, the two forgave you. Elrond asked you to live because you were all they had left, and it broke you because they were also all you had from Maedhros. 
-Your pain did not heal. You had difficulties finding joy, but you mustered the strength to continue because you couldn't bring yourself to leave Elrond and Elros. The two needed someone to support them, so you decided to be at least that to them. 
-You hated Eru for giving you this task as you found no reason to smile anymore. You hated yourself, and you had no power to change anything. Maedhros was gone, and you remained.
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julessworldd · 2 years
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I was thinking for an Eddie one where maybe the reader isn't popular but she knows everyone if that makes sense and everyone's a bit confused why she wants to hang out with "the freak" but really she's just as nuts as him just quieter aha
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Warnings: drugs mentioned, drug deal, cussing, Jason 😷, Steve being a complete asshole. AfaB/Buckley!reader
The reader gives me Steven Hyde vibes, just imagine a fem!Hyde
Eddie Munson was known as the freak of Hawkins also local drug dealer(depending who is talking about him). Hellfire, he was the dungeon master, Dustin, another older brother to look up to. We all know deep down, Eddie is a just cinnamon roll that’s too cute for his own good. Just no denying!
Y/n Buckley, he was her best friend, soulmate, love of her life(he don’t know it yet)! But Eddie was just in love with her as she was with him. Both are total chickens. Robin was her younger sister, she was into art, theater. Really good in every subject, just don’t really brag about it. Also was a stoner, quiet but a good listener and therapist. She had beauty like Rita Haywood, a real looker. She got asked out by everyone: Jocks, band geeks, the stoners, Steve Harrington even tried it. But no one was Eddie or even compared to him.
Y/n’s pov
Robin busted in my room as I was throwing a Runways tee on, “Roby!”, I sighed as she just the door behind her. “I was gonna see if you could take me to school? Steve has to open the store early” “That’s fine, give me a minute to finish” “Does Dustin need a ride?”, I asked zipping my jeans. “He didn’t say but probably will after”, Robin said, sitting a cassette tape down. “Drop it”, I smirked. “Robin! You forgot your uniform!”, I yelled as she tried to book into school. Nancy giggled. “Girl’s feet run faster than her brain”, I rolled my eyes. Robin blushed coming to get her stuff. “Have a good day, Robykins. I love you, go learn something”, I ruffled her hair. “Y/n stoppp!”, she whined. “Hey Y/n”, Jeff smiled as he passed. “Heyy Jeff”, I replied.
It was lunch, I was sitting next to Eddie and Gareth as they were discussing the next DnD campaign. Eddie rubbed my back as Mike was saying something about Lucas. “Over my dead body!” I heard as the group got upset. The bickering went on for a second before Eddie raised his voice. “Shut up!”, Eddie released his hand from my hair. The look in his eyes screamed anger. “Please don’t be ticked off” I thought to myself. I watched as Eddie ranted about Mike’s idea to postpone the game tonight. “Y/n graduates this year, so does Jeff, Gareth has a year and a half. Me! I’m army crawling my way to a D in Mrs. OdOnald’s class, if I don’t blow her final.” Eddie said standing up. I furrowed my brows on why me graduating had anything to do with the game. Sure I’ve played but not much this year. Eds and I play one on one sometimes, but that’s it!
“Princess?”, Eddie asked as we left the lunchroom.
“Yes, Munson?” “Would you be able to sub for Lucas?” Eddie asked. “I’m sorry but I have to take Robin to work and run errands for mom. It would be mid game before I could possibly think about stopping by”, I sighed. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Just know you can play and the boys like you. It wouldn’t mess up the routine of the game”, Eddie smiled. “Seriously, I might sneak in tonight”, I giggled. “Wonder who they’re gonna find” “Hopefully someone decent” I said.
Chrissy was dozing in History, “Chrissy”, I whispered. She jumped a little. “Sorry, you were dozing. You know how Ownens is about sleepers”, I said. “It’s okay. Thanks” she smiled. Chrissy was my childhood best friend, we went to pre k together. But high school came and the cheerleaders took her time. Now Jason Craver as well. Hope she is okay, she never sleeps in class. “Class dismissed!” I was walking towards my car, counting down to Robin running to the car. “Y/n! Wait up!”, I turned around to Chrissy running after me. “What’s up, Chrissy?” “I was wondering if you wanted to hangout soon? I miss us”, She smiled. “Sure Chrissy, just call me sometime. We’ll figure something out. You been okay?”, I asked. She nodded. “Well, have fun jumping around at practice. See ya around Chris!”, I smiled. “Y/nn!”, Dustin yelled across the parking lot.
“Eddie has done asked, Henderson!”, I yelled back. “Yes? No?” I shook my head. “Son of bitch! He’s gonna kill us”, Dustin sighed. “No he won’t!” I giggled as I seen Eddie shut his door to his van. He was going on a drug deal looked like. Dustin had waddled off. “Y/n/n”, Eddie walked over with his metal “lunchbox” “Yes Edward?”, I giggled. “You’ll never guess who I’m meeting in the woods” “The Boogyman”, I rolled my eyes. “No, Dr Loomis. Chrissy Cunningham”, Eddie said. “You are not giving her drugs, Edward! She is a good girl, she don’t need your shit”, I hit his chest. “Why not? It’s a client, one with daddy’s money”, Eddie asked. “Cause Chrissy isn’t the drug taking type, she is a little innocent. She didn’t lose her virginity until 3 months ago to Jason”, I said, giving a serious look. “Calm down, mommy. It’s just weed, you said it yourself it’s a plant, God left it for us to smoke”, Eddie smirked. “It better be just pot, if I find out it’s even laced I’m kicking your ass”, I said, grabbing his his jacket labels. Eddie rolled his eyes as Robin walked up. “I meant it, Edward!”, I yelled as he walked across the parking lot to the woods.
“What’s he doing now?”, Robin asked. “Nothing, Rob. Get in the car”, I sighed. I pulled up to Family video, Robin ran inside, zipping her vest. “Oh shit”, I noticed the tapes I needed to return. “Hey Dingus!”, I rang the bell. “I’m at the counter, Y/n”, Steve sighed. “Yeah I know, Dingus”, I giggled. “What is it?” “ I need to return these”, I laid ‘Friday the 13th’ and ‘Carrie’ down “Y/n, these were due two weeks ago” Steve said. “Y/nn! I work here now, don’t your shit late now”, Robin groaned. “Fuck sorry! I’ve been busy”, I rolled my eyes. “Busy with the freak”, Steve smirked. “Didn’t know I need permission from you, Harrington. Gotta a problem?”, I lent up the counter. “No, just saying hanging out with the freak Munson isn’t an excuse. Robin works here you could have gave them to her”, Steve said. “What is your deal with him? What he isn’t a basketball jock like you, so you think he’s like gum on your shoe”, I got shakey.
“I just don’t get why you find him so fantastic? I mean he’s a repeater, drug dealer, just a freak bottom line”, Steve replied. “Maybe he’s not a prick like you. Sorry that Daddy stopped your funds until you go to college, don’t take it out on the rest of us. Here’s the money Robin, see ya later”, I rolled my eyes and slammed the door behind me. “You should have left it alone, Steve. She thinks of the world of Eddie”, Robin said.
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incarnateirony · 3 months
Text
The real plot twist is, in a way, it's almost a Hermes style joke to let her use Rumpocky, if it wasn't so deeply offensive to a deceased person and their family member she didn't know about.
Because the word meant Literal Nonsense. I cannot emphasize that enough. It was *my* first time channeling after years of being mad I couldn't, and *my* inability to let go that got us jammed half way, and while someone tried to ask where he was coming from, he was trying to get words out, and something along the veins of "somewhere in Japan" wasn't working so I was getting slapped with a few vague images and him scouring the recent mental database he could access.
That recent mental database included Words That Are Literal Nonsense.
In the movie Slayers Premium, which features in the Monster video cover, a town is cursed by a demon to speak literal fucking jibberish. We had been trying to discern if there was any languages being shoved together, and had just gone over "pirate candy rum pocky riding sniff makes butt rum???? DID I HEAR THAT?" so it was the fucking local brainworm, so when he grabbed on all he could get out was fucking RUMPOCKY until the boot sequence corrected itself and he could actually talk to her about her father.
And she was like, do you have. pocky? and he was like no but they actually did just release a wonderful rum and raisin pocky I quite enjoy that.
That's the shit Shea stole for her branding without fucking understanding. The word means literal nonsense, it is literally a quote from a random string of nonsequitorial words that happened to be in my head rent free and were used for availability, but like. No all she heard was "well he got summoned and liked rumpocky from Japan so I'll be the best servant and order that" and like fucking point, over your head, that's not for or about you, get your own identity.
It was the breakthrough word, of my own personal life, and personal story, based on a series of personal events who had shared personal interests, for a personal first success in channeling, to help a friend personally grieve their passing father, but this bitch is gonna make it a meme so she can eat more candy cuz Hermes So Quirky(TM). Now everyone pay her to talk to her own shadow while swearing she's gonna learn this Hermes thing. The psychology part is gonna be a hella ride sweetheart. You should be paying the piper, not the other way around.
We tried. Me and him both. To help her find her own way, and identity, but she never knew what she wanted, just anything and anywhere else, and never with introspection of accountability to break down the personal parts, and then she festered then wondered why the road walked out on her. Like, you threw him out. It'll hit you in about five years once you've sobered up, and at that point, sorry maam. Yes, you did indeed let a manic borderline bipolar episode about lemons chase away the thing you're clearly after, and no, it does not want to come back. No, you can't argue with me on your blog about it. What's true is true. Your version can't pull up information core to his nature, and you can't pull information expansions on things you echo. You are definitionally doing shadow projection. Yes, he's gone, Shea. It's time to move on. Beating an inside joke to death you weren't even there for but got second hand from the ex husband you've been stalking the blog of for three years won't. Fix. It.
Let us go. You said you wanted us to go. We did not pause. You did not understand what left with me, but that was your choice, and that was fine. I said, okay. Yeah. I just get time to move. No fight to keep you. Right to the couch. And right to leaving. And I don't know. You weren't ready for your own choice.
We're gone Shea. By the fucking gods. Let us go. Stop sending your friends and gathering intentional enemies just for the ill of it, in whatever you've convinced yourself. Stop reading my every word. Stop acting accomplished just for finally harassing us into answering you after three years. Stop echoing him just hoping to near a new punchline that actually makes you laugh bounce back. Let us go.
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kalcifers-blog · 11 months
Text
MAG 114209: The IRIS of The Eye
A JSE Ego x TMA Crossover fanfic
Content Warning!! Discussions of violence, self inflicted injury and insinuation of suicidal behaviour. Nothing is in graphic detail, but please stay safe while reading!!
[Tape Recorder clicks]
The Archivist: (sighs) Alright, let's try this again shall we-
Chase Brody: oh for fu- is that really necessary? Why do you people all insist on recording people??
The Archivist: oh- sorry this is just- procedure. It's kind of my job to make sure statements are recorded properly- unless you don't- want- to make a statement?
Chase: (interrupted the last sentence) No- no. I'm sorry- I just- I need to do this I think. I'm not exactly sure what this place is but... I think- somethin' tells me that this is the place to get this out there somehow
The Archivist: I see.. well. Whenever you're ready, we can begin
Chase: (deep breath) okay. Yeah I'm ready.
The Archivist: Alright. Statement of Chase Brody regarding the entity referred to as ALTR 114209. Statement taken directly from sub- from Mr. Brody himself. Statement overseen and recorded by Jonathan Sims. The Archivist. Statement begins:
Chase: [statement]
I feel like I can't really talk about this without some context first? I grew up in Ireland- you- you probably already guessed that because of the accent- but yeah. I'm from Ireland. My life there was miserable. I grew up in a small town. One of those classic "everyone knows everyone" schticks. Mostly because my Ma insisted on going to the local church to do all her socialising- I went there too consistently 'til she passed. I was 15 at the time.
Before she did I was convinced I wanted her out of my life, we never got along- I'm not saying that I completely change my mind now it's just- when someone like that leaves your life forever you start thinking about "what could have been" far more often. When she did pass I knew I wanted out- I needed to get away so I saved up my scraps of money to go to college in Britain. Maybe I wanted to get away or run from my feelings- I just. The way everyone would look at me, knowing what I was going through, giving me these- disgusting looks of pity- I needed out. I needed a get away.
So I moved. My Father didn't care too much, the man was out half the time for work and when he wasn't his hand was glued to his ale. I told myself I wouldn't end up like that- miserable sack of shit but- (chuckles sadly) I- I guess things don't always go to plan, huh?
Anyway- My life did start turnin' around when I got to the UK. The college I went too was pretty mediocre but the people I met were some of the most incredible- the person who changed my life forever in ways I couldn't have ever imagined was Jack.
Jack was my first friend- after realising we where both Irish and kinda had a really uncanny similarity to us, everyone always joked that we had to be twins because of how similar we looked. Despite the fact I'm nearly four years older than him- anyway uh- he got me into gaming.
I'd played games before of course but, this was the first time I played proper video games, especially the horror games, my Ma tried convincin me anything to do with horror was born out of evil and well- actually playing them for the first time was really eye opening as to how stupid that idea was.
I know this all sounds like useless information but I promise it's important- what you need to know is that Jack was my best friend. He introduced me to things that would be some of my favourite things ever, he was there when I got with and broke up with my first boyfriend and through everything, all of those disgusting sides of how bad my mental health got, Jack was one of the only ones who stuck by my side. So when he asked me to be his editor when his YouTube career took off I didn't think twice about saying yes.
I don't think I need to tell you about the successful YouTuber Jacksepticeye- and how he's the largest ever YouTuber from Ireland- how he managed to accumulate millions of subscribers before his disappearance on Halloween of 2016.
Of course, now I know that video that was put up on his channel that wasn't uploaded by me or him and definitely wasn't edited by myself wasn't actually a fake.
No one knew what to make of "Say Goodbye" when it first released. For me I was confused- Jack obviously can edit videos on his own, in fact its pretty common for him to do so- but he always lets me know if he does. There's never been an occasion in which he didn't in the entire time I was working for him. So when that video dropped with no warning I immediately felt off about it.
I won't tell you what happened in that video. You don't need to hear the details of Jack seemingly hurting himself to the point that he was placed in a medically induced coma- I was watching the video itself when I got the call- his doctor- German if I had to guess from his accent, calling me to let me know and to ask me some questions, due to the nature of his injury.
I don't care who comes in to tell you. Jack did not try to kill himself. I refuse to believe he ever would. Jack like I mentioned, was more than my boss, he was my closest friend and we told each other everything. There was just. Nothing. Not a single thing to indicate in his life that he would ever want to hurt himself like that.
I ended up staying in contact with the German doctor, his name's Henrik Schneeplestien- really nice actually. And it was talking to him that I got an email from Jack's account. Not his business "Jacksepticeye" account- his personal one, the one I knew he used exclusively for things that where for his personal life.
When I got that email my blood froze over. It was a video. It was that video. But it was longer. There was more to it. Instead of Jack's body lying there- lifeless and bleeding out. It jerked. It jerked upwards- like his muscles and joints where all connected to strings and being hoisted up against his will, like a fucking puppet.
The thing wearing Jacks dying body laughed. It laughed tormenting us- Henrik started believeing me after watching it with me the first time.
I'll spare you the details of how my life derailed after that. The months of waiting for Jack to wake up. Of Henrik losing his mind trying to understand what's going on. The disappearance of both Jack's body and Henrik himself. Me finding the most beautiful woman on the planet and finally feeling like a person again with her. Only for her and our child to be ripped away from me by that fucking thing that insisted on destroying everything in my life that gave living meaning.
Every time something bad happened it was there, still wearing Jack's face. Puppeting him around with this wicked smirk it had some crude inside joke I wasn't apart of.
I lost everything. My friend was gone, my wife and child where dead, the only person who ever cared to hear me out was missing and to top it all off I had some demon wannabe kicking my skull into rock bottom. Just so I knew that my misery wasn't over.
I had enough. I drove myself to a forest, it was our favourite place to go to as a family in the short 3 years we got to be a family. I wasn't planning on leaving that day. I decided then and there that I wasn't having it anymore. I was done. That thing won. I gave in and I just wanted it to be over.
I still can't tell you what happened to me. But I was in the forest one second and the next I was on top of a parking garage miles away. Whatever happened to me, I knew it was the only weird thing that wasn't brought to me because of that fucking monster. I still don't know what- but I just. I just KNOW alright. I just. Know.
Anyway, not long after that I'm detained by IRIS. Your institute already have all the information you need on that fucking place. I was there for questioning about what happened to me that day. And my experiences with the thing thats been destroying my life. There wasn't anything more to say other than what I've already told you.
They where about to put me under "special containment" dragging me against my will further in the building. The whole building felt like it was screaming at me to leave- that something bad was going to happen- I wished I was wrong.
That thing came back. It was still wearing my friends face and it killed any and all workers that came close to it. All it said to me was "hello, Chase" before I blacked out. I don't remember how I somehow managed to wake up in London- or how this nagging voice in my brain told me to come here. I don't know what "ALTR 114209" is, why it decided I was going to be it's plaything or what it even is. I just....
I just need someone to know that this thing is out there and more people will die if IRIS continues the way it has done for years now.
[Statement Ends]
Chase: (deep sigh) Jesus- I- How'd you- how did you get me to do that-
The Archivist: trust me, that's a long story- I just. I'm sorry are you insinuating that IRIS is somehow- responsible? For the actions of this entity?
Chase: yeah I thought I made that pretty fucking obvious man. IRIS has done nothing but hide the truth from me, borderline torture me and do absolute jack shit when something bad happens to anyone- including their own workers mind you.
The Archivist: Okay well... Fair enough. But please be cautious, if IRIS is behind all of this. You don't want to talk about it here, not in a place like this
Chase: oh just because your boss is watching doesn't mean I have to worry about him snitching to the SCP ripoff
The Archivist: wait- what did you jus- how did you- do you. (Whispering) Do you know that Elias Bouchard is listening and can see everyone in the building- there's no way for you to of....
The Archivist: Oh..... I see.. Chase I- I think I know why you might be a target-
Chase: (quietly) wh.. what- what do you mean by that..?
The Archivist: let me get you a drink. This will take a long time to explain.
[Tape Recorder clicks off]
That's all!! Thank you SM if you read through this, I'm very new to writing fanfic so I hope that this is alright!! A lot of people really liked the idea of a crossover between JSE lore and TMA so of course I had to write up how I imagine Chase Brody's Statement.
Again thank you SM for all the support and I hope to get some more drawing/writing done soon!! <333
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stranger-rants · 2 years
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so much of this anti rhetoric rings too close to actual things i've heard said about clients i've worked with. that committing a crime or being in prison excludes a person from treatment, from access to mental health, from access to substance use treatment/programming, educational attainment, or programs towards bettering themselves and providing insight, healing, and lowering their risk of reoffending. the notion that a poor upbringing leads to a bad outcome and that in turn warrants all current and future circumstances as deserved. that somehow once the train to 'bad apple' town starts an individual is both responsible for its destination(s) and not stopping it all at the same time. bc they were clearly the conductor of some runaway train.
misunderstanding and so narrowly viewing and boiling a character like billy down. and then using all these 'reasons' that i have heard far too many times as to why he shouldn't be liked. why he should be ignored. why he should be outcast or further punished, institutionalized etc even... just speaks exactly to why i have a job. because when you ignore people. when you beat them down, and continue to outcast, and shut them out of society with no room to grow or improve... they come back to me again.
i really enjoy your posts. i appreciate that you take so much time to make these posts. you must be exhausted. they are extremely thoughtful and speak so much truth not just to the fandom but also to a lot of the systematic problems that individuals face in their daily lives. thank you. thank you for being here.
Thank you for such a lovely response 💜
I feel much the same way. The majority of the people I work with have some form of trauma.
Most of my students are refugees and immigrants who were brought here because of war or natural disaster, because I teach English as a language. Everyone copes in different ways, but the young people who aren't able to "behave" the way society expects have always been more prone to being exploited and abused and for my students, they tend to face harsher treatment because they were not born in the U.S.
Years ago, there was a local 14 year old who had stabbed someone in a robbing. There was talk of deporting them back to their birth country to stand trial where the punishment would be more severe. I also once had a student who had gone to jail for gang related stuff, but by their senior year they were trying to turn things around and even offer a safe place for their friend who was similarly involved in that life but it was difficult for him to navigate the world with a record.
I've had students come to me with many different prejudices. Just last year over half the male students in my class were happily talking about how back in their home country you could be killed for being gay or trans. Horrifying, I know. Yet, I've seen students start high school with a that same attitude, but then graduate with very progressive ideas and greater tolerance. It's almost like being surrounded by people who are different from you and being in an accepting environment helps.
I'm not too exhausted, thankfully. Sometimes I get triggered and I respond accordingly. However, it all just fuels me to keep doing what I'm doing.
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eggslutsblog · 2 years
Text
Illicit Affairs - part 1
Yoongi and reader (_) fic- strangers to lovers 18+
1.6k words
No warnings for now
Inspired by the Taylor Swift song
<Yoongi is looking for new artists to manage in this new phase of solo/BTS work, and apparently a relationship? You? You never really wanted any of this. So what happens when you get everything dreams are made of and it starts to die?>
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See that's the thing about illicit affairs,
clandestine meetings, and longing stares.
It's born from just one single glance
But it dies, 
And it dies,
And it dies, 
A million little times. 
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
You're a musician in Seoul playing mostly at the local bar and restaurant scene. Sure, you've sent out some demos over the years. Even had a full band at one point, but your group mostly did covers. Though the fans really enjoyed them, you not so much. You're finally at the point where you can focus on your original work, some actual creativity. Songwriting, composing, recording (when you feel like it). Just you, your guitar, and the small percussion pad your drummer said they didn't need any more when you parted ways. 
Of course you do have to think about money, performing doesn't pay all the bills, and you've got a cat at home to think about!! So during the day you work at a plant nursery. It's not huge, so it's just indoor plants and pre-made flower sets that come through. Mostly buyers come looking for nice gifts or a starter succulent they hopefully won't murder. It's not a career for you, but neither is music at this point. Creativity is your career. As long as you can afford to do that nothing else really matters.
There is something looming though, and it comes through in your music. Being 28, alone in your 1 bedroom apartment, hapf living room half music studio, going to work, it all seems so "hamster wheel-ish" sometimes. After playing at a bar especially - the thought of sticking around socializing, or even for just a drink, is so uninteresting at this point in your life. You are content though, you get to do what you want whenever you want. There's no one to tie you down or answer too, and maybe that's ok. Yet, like you thought, there is something looming in the back of your mind. For someone.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
You were up next at one of your favorite bars in town, hanging back stage checking out the crowd. It was more packed than usual on a Friday night but there were definitely some recognizables. The band before you was amazing. They were a 3 piece rock band, guitar, bass, and drums. Their lead singer could basically do it all run around the stage, scream, high notes with a range from the gods, all well shredding it like crazy on his guitar. It reminded you of when you used to do covers with your band. There were times when you played guitar and did some rock songs too. Those were some of the most memorable times on this stage. You were truly happy and you felt like nothing could touch you. The set you're about to deliver next is definitely a 180. You traded in your electric for an acoustic, for one, but there's nothing to worry, this crowd is open for anything. That's why this place is one of your favorites, they truly just love music.
As you take the stage everybody claps, and you introduce yourself like always
"Hello everyone I'm (_) I'm exci..."
"PLANT GIRL" - someone yells from the crowd . You smile and give your guitar a strum from your stool.
You laugh "haha yes thank you, not my band name however, I'm just (_) and I'm excited to play for you all."
You play your set belting out a couple of love songs, a few feminist anthems, and something new you've been working on. It's not perfect yet but you don't care. It feels perfect, and you end on a high note because maybe you polished it up a bit. So after you grab your check from the manager you head to the bar to find "plant girl" man, and you knew exactly who it was.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Ha-ru really?" It was your coworker "should I start calling you plant boy? I can't even be plant WOMAN?" you give him a smack on the arm.
"AHAHAHA I'm sorry I was just trying to psych you out" he says putting his drink up against his arm "you were SO GOOD I'm glad I finally made it out here. We gotta get the whole STORE TO COME NEXT TIME to cheer you on!" Throwing his hands in the air. His enthusiasm makes you laugh a little, and it does make you think how he is the first coworker of yours that, for one, you've ever told about your performances, let alone to show up. "You gunna stick around a while mmm? watch some more? Want a drink?"
"Nah I'm good, playing usually takes it out of me. Plus I have to open tomorrow so...." you trail off then remember his compliments "OH but thank you so much for making it out here! Truly. I knew it was you in the crowd right away so that was really," your speech slows, "nice" You both smile at each other, "so I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"You sure will!" and with your guitar on your back you say goodnight and head home from the bar.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
It's 10am and Ha-ru comes busting in the employee door as you're unpacking the days delivery. Yelling your name
"(_______AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!)" you just start screaming with him
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHMY GOD I HAVE A BOX CUTTER IN MY HAND YOU FOOL" he laughs as he walks towards you putting his hands on the sides of your arms and your eyes get huge.
"(_).....you will NEVER believe what happened last night after you left" he let's go and steps back
"Ok I won't believe you" you go back to your unboxing
"Ahaha no (_) listen!"
"I'm listening, I'm listening" you wave your hand in the air like let's fricken go buddy
"Some guy sitting at the bar next to me would NOT stop asking me about you!!! He was like "oh so you work together? Oh so she plays here often?" I was basically hitting on him FOR YOU he was so interested in your music it was so cute!"
"WHAT who was this???"
"Ok so remember how I said you'll never believe me well..." Ha-ru won't look at you now.
"WELL WHAT" now you're grabbing his arms
"I HAVE NO IDEA AND I DIDNT ASK I WAS WASTED AND I DID LIKE ALL THE TALKING well mostly blabbing" he blurts out putting his fists up to his mouth. You hang your head low gripping his arms once then letting go with a deep sigh.
"Why must you give me this divine information WITH NO REAL LEAD HA-RU??"
"IM SORRY BUT!!! butttttttt on the creepy plus side I may have ummm" he treads lightly, and you look at him with scrunched eyebrows "I may have, accidentally, or um on purpose, told him exactly....where....we work."
"OH my god so some mystery man who is interested?!?!?!? in me knows where I work? What should I just wait for an AMBUSH?"
"I swear I did not get a creep vibe and he was seriously so interested in your music, asked me way more questions about that and you playing different venues and such. PLUS don't worry I'd protect you!"
"SIR you do not know who you're protecting me from!!!!!"
"Shit that's a good point oh god I'm so sorry." He puts his head in his hands then starts putting on his apron for his shift. "Maybe he was just eavesdropping on our conversation when you said bye to me and wanted to make sure he could see you play again!"
"Yea maybe" you shrug.
Ha-ru and you work on unpacking today's order. Various new succulents, pots, soil, watering cans, and other accessories.
"I'm gunna start putting the plants out on the floor before lunch ok?"
"Got it!"
Ha-ru stays in the back to do some counts as you take your cart of new plant friends out to the floor. Saturday's are naturally the stores busiest day. There's 2 cashiers up front, your manager working the phone and the floor to answer questions, and you and Ha-ru also work the floor for most of the day as well as putting out stock.
There's a whole wall of succulents towards the back so that's where you head. You turn the corner from out the stock room, and you think you're seeing things as you approach the wall that needs stocking. A lone customer standing and admiring them sure, but your heart starts pounding, you know him. You line you cart up against a wall, grab 2 succulents in hand, and start walking closer. Ok now this is real, you'd recognize him anywhere, and this is anywhere apparently. It's fucking Min Yoongi.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
He's wearing a mask and a beanie but that can't stop a BTS fans, hell no. Living in Seoul, have you thought of this moment? Hell yes. Wanting to tell him how much he means to you? OF COURSE! Can you do that? HELL NO. You decide you're going to just act like you already know eachother, and try not to die of spontaneous combustion in the process. So with succulents in hand-
"Hey how are you?" you find an empty spot for one of the succulents without looking at him. As you scan for another spot your eyes meet, and you stare at eachother, holding the succulent with both hands. He chuckles as he lowers his mask.
"Well, I'm doing fine, though I'll be very honest uh, you see I didn't come here to find a plant today" you're taken aback by this, you feel like you need to grab your manager or something, and you just ruined your opportunity to talk with a BTS member.
"OH" you start looking around the store "Um I can get my supervis..."
"No no no it's nothing like that you see I um, I'm so sorry I should introduce myself I..."
"Oh I know who you are" you laugh finally putting the succulent on the bottom shelf. "I'm (_), I'm a huge fan Min Yoongi" you extend your hand. He looks down at your hand and reciprocates the shake. He gives an embarrassed laugh while scratching the back of his neck and his eyes escape to the floor.
"Right, sorry, please just call me Yoongi, I'm not very good at this" you are fucking DIEING inside from cuteness right now. You dont know what he wants but you apparently have to help him get it out.
"So, um, what did you come here for today them?" You turn your head to the side and he looks back up to meet your eyes again.
"I saw you play last night" your eyes get huge as he continues to lock onto them, "and I talked with your coworker since you seemed to slip away so quickly so I'm sorry if this seems like an ambush"
my god can he read your mind too?!???
"But I go to a lot of different venues, open mic nights, you name it, looking for something, anything. You said you're a BTS fan so you obviously know we're working on mostly our own stuff right now well, I want to get to know you."
GET TO KNOW YOU?!?!?!??!?!
"Musically..."
Oh duh
"And otherwise"
Here comes the spontaneous combustion
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07.30.22
Part 2
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jackals-ships · 1 year
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2, 3, 8, 11, 14, 29, 34, 37, 38, 41. tell me about your ldb i Want to Know
[skywim ask game]
LDB JACKAL MY BELOVED,,,, having the time of their life being gay in-between running away from many things while screaming <3
under a cut both bc platonically blows u a kiss for the questions and bc i RAMBLE…..many thinks. head full of Skyrim
2: Do they worship any deities, be it aedra or daedra?
worship hircine, got scruffed by him bodily and shoved into his pocket, same thing :}
hircine is the only one they Officially worship (ie leave him offerings + pray to him + occasionally throw rocks at his window asking for boons bc they are His MOST Special Little Guy Come On They Deserve It!!!) but the rest of the daedra have a kind of? working agreement with them? jackal is more used to worshiping gods that don't have. Such A Presence so they take extra steps to be polite half from awe half from Fear™
i could write a ten page tangent tho on their vibes wrt the aedra and Especially akatosh and kyne i have SO many opinions-
3: What factions are they a part of?
okay so this one ive actually been on and off biting at,,,
officially they're with the companions (they rolled up with lucien and inigo, having been blessed/cursed by hircine himself like a few months ago, and everyone went "....oh. new child??? new child.") and thieves guild (kinda a similar thing, area doggy looks SO pathetic brynjolf had to take pity on them otherwise he's pretty sure they would just. fall into the water and die??)
but they also did. yknow murder grelod a little. like not even as part of the quest just as a I Went Out Of My Way Because FUCK This Lady!!! so i'm undecided yet if they're officially part of the brotherhood or if they just. awkwardly hang around. have that connection. roll back up a year later like SO DRAGONS HUH
same with the volkihar vampires i had a whole thing in my head of Plot but i can't quite seem to finagle it into the plot points and >:0! (it's also why jackal is both doggy AND vampire. i have LORE i just can't dot the dots) (altho i do think it would be funny having them vanish for a year or so bc of the alduin thing, and roll back up to them as well like "where the FUCK have you been you were supposed to be finding the elder scroll" "........so. dragons-")
also the dragon cult this is so important + where most of their story is todd had to not make them part of the official game or id be too powerful-
8: What is their combat style?
crying and looking pathetic <3
no but rlly while that is their tactic for the first….like several months (when they got isekaid into Skyrim they had 0 muscle mass and it's a miracle they've lived this long) eventually they settle on a combination of destruction magic+short swords, it's easier to stab someone if they're more focused on the fact part of them is frozen and or on fire
also using their werewolf form. tho that's usually less on purpose more when a fight is going Bad and they freak out
11: From a story standpoint, what is the general opinion of your character amongst the people of Skyrim?
the ppl of Skyrim, slapping the top of their head: this little guy can fit SO many weird words in em (jackal stop trying to explain to the people what a "meme" is. jackal no-)
NO BUT…..i love the idea that. jackal honestly isn't that recognizable as The Dragonborn™™ at least up until the whole alduin thing
so their idea of jackal as Dragonborn is this grand hero..so brave…mysterious little guy…kills some dragons tho so nice there, doesn't seem to get involved in politics which good for them it's kinda a mess
but jackal as a Person is just! little guy energy! recognizable as "that skittish Breton/Nord (??) who's pretty polite, doesn't talk a lot, but helps out the local farmers a bunch, plays with the kids, seems generally chill? so we let em be. also they bit ulfric once SO. good for them."
14: What's their morality like?
yes <3
ough but no jackal is sooo. gnaws on them like a chewtoy. morally grey is probably the best label that fits? they're able to rationalize a LOT of what they do, at least to themself as a coping mechanism but also some of their actions are Objectively Not Great! (murdering grelod, stealing from ppl, the whole eating people while in dog mode, making out with an immortal dragon god who kinda wants to rule Skyrim. y'know)
this is also compounded by the dragon souls thing because of hc's i have for them, especially after mirmulnir initially. they got a bit of internal "im a Dragon, morals don't apply because im built Better <3" going on they have to shove down hard (esp when alduin enters the scene and goes 👀? oh??? i could make them WORSE??)
29: What do they think of Skyrim politics? (Jarls, Thanes, empire, high kings, etc)
jackal voice wow! i respect literally none of you guys! :D
no but rlly it's SO. gnawing on them again. since jackal is my little me that got isekaid they came into Skyrim with so, so many opinions. but interacting with everyone got all of what they knew/thought they knew smashed onto rocks, where they get it they know politics and decisions are Hard but
they were given like. a Lot of reasons to eventually do a heel turn and slap Skyrim onto a silver platter to shove into alduin like "no im done. fuckin take it before I change my mind and realize you're the worse option here" :0!
34: What is their most preferred weapon type? (Ex: Glass dagger, dwarven bow, etc)
KHOPESH KHOPESH !! i don't know. which mod it's from. but i got it in game and i like it and jackal uses it frequently
they're also a fan of crossbows :} not very good at them tho bc their depth perception is shit rip
37: Did you make this character with a certain love interest in mind?
funny fact no actually?? jackal came about iirc when i was dragging myself back into Skyrim after an annual Depression Slump™ and while i think id tossed about the idea of getting together with Farkas (my first husband when Skyrim came out hfj) i don't think it was Officially Planned
38: Is there a certain mod that is very important to this character's playthrough?
all of them……
okay but rlly i have a bunch that add on little bits that are pleasing to Me For Lore (ie adding on more werewolves + werewolf disease, making animals NOT immediately hostile, cloaks + bags etc etc)
but in actuality i am holding both Lucien and Inigo over my head i don't entirely have ALL the dots dotted but they are my FRIENDS…..my lil guys :}
41: Do they wear war paint and if so, is it significant to them in any particular way?
pop cat noises bc yes but also no? at least not any of the base game ones
but i Have tossed around the idea unofficially in my head that the dragon priests wore specific paints when out of their masks? an jackal would wear one of their designs
at least in the time period of "sort of alduins unofficial/quasi official priest and link to the rest of Skyrim" that happens before they're on equal level/technically not equal and jackals kinda dragging around the world eater on a leash while he goes
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and then sometimes after bc alduin likes it but he won't say it gay ass-
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ASOS; Steel and Snow: 11 JAIME II (pages 146-160)
The BROad-trip continues as the team finds an inn along the river, where they pick up some local gossip and some horses to continue the journey overland.
-
"Did you kill them?" "Would i tell you if I did?" The man spat. "Likely it were wolves' work, or lions, what's the difference? The wife and i found them dead. The way we see it, this place is ours now."
And ain't that just a summary of it all: the smallfolk don't know or care who's responsible, all they know is someone in charge is killing them, and they're left to scrape up a life in the aftermath as best they can.
... omg, Brienne and Jaime getting the vibes, meanwhile Cleos is all 'la-lala-lala, what a lovely inn, time for a kip~"
idjit.
Cleos, you bring down the IQ of the entire party... he's going to get himself killed, isn't he? I can half imagine this as a tabletop, and the player just "it's what my character would do" attitude, while everyone else throws scrunched up note paper and "stop trying to get us killed in the first session!"
"He may have been lying about the river as well, to put us on these horses," the wench said, "but I could not take the risk. There will be soldiers at the ruby ford and the crossroads."
ruby = 🥛 I'm thirsty, so it counts.
Jaime! stahhhhp. Stop thinking mean things about Brienne!
"- Aerys had Ser Ilyn Payne's tongue torn out just for boasting that it was the hand who truly ruled the Seven Kingdoms. the captain of the Hand's guard, and yet father dared not try and stop it. -"
Ohhhhh, so that's what happened to his tongue and why.
"Tell me true, one kingslayer to another - did the Starks pay you to slit his throat, or was it Stannis? (...) Or perhaps your moon's blood was on you. Never give a wench a sword when she's bleeding."
*smacks Jaime with the steel chair* be thankful I'm not hitting you harder Mr. PMS jokes. And the only reason for that, by the way, is because I'm aware you're deflecting from your own trauma and guilt re: killing Aerys. You chose a shitty way to go about it though. Stop it.
I feel like I'm becoming more liberal with the application of chair as we go on. This series has changed me. (joking)
But when he closed his eyes, it was Aerys Targaryen he saw, pacing alone in his throne room, picking at his scabbed and bleeding hands. The fool was always cutting himself on the blades and barbs of the Iron Throne.
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the silly sword-chair, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
Yeah, and the silly sword-chair doesn't like you, Aerys!
I do like that the people who do get cut all seem to be the kind of folks who you'd think "oh of course they're unworthy, they are selfish and cruel" when you hear they get cut, and it perpetuates the idea that the Throne cuts the unworthy.
But also, the only real time we've seen that thought from someone on the Throne was from Ned, and he was well aware how dangerous the chair was.
... Jaime needs therapy for what happened during the rebellion, and probably before that as well.
They broke their fast on oatcakes , alt fish, and some blackberries that Ser Cleos had found, and were back in the saddle before the sun came up.
I don't know that I'd trust berries from Ser Cleos, he doesn't seem that bright. (I'm being mean, I'm aware.)
Luckily (fun fact incoming) there's a good chance the berries are fine.
Fun Fact:
While roughly 50% of red berries are poisonous, 90% of blue/black/purple skinned berries are edible.
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silvfyre-writings · 1 year
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What is Love? (MHA Fanfic)
A fic for the DabiHawks masquerade event! I hope you all enjoy!
Hawks had never experienced love.
He knew what it was of course, for he’d seen plenty of it over his years as a hero. He saw it in young couples freshly dating. He saw it in the elderly couples shuffling along to their favorite park bench. And he saw it in the many, many proposals that happened on the beaches of where he worked. Love was sweet, but it also came with pain. Break-ups that brought everyone to tears; the pain sometimes quick, sometimes not. It also brought with it, fights when a loved one did something their partner didn’t agree with, or when chores were left unattended for too long. The worst pain of all that love could bring with it though, was death. Hawks had seen a lot of death over the years; it was just part of being a hero, but the worst deaths were when one half of a relationship died. It was hard to watch as someone’s lover realized that the love of their life would never stand beside them again, and it was nearly impossible to watch as they broke down into terrible sobs that had his feathers shudder every time. But despite the pain, people still fell in love, and continued to love and push past the pain of it.
Hawks didn’t understand it.
He’d never experienced love.
He wasn’t allowed to.
His boss’ back at the Commission had always told him that love was a waste of time, that once he became Japan’s top hero, there wouldn’t be time to spend on loving someone. None of the people at the Commission had families; at least, none that Hawks knew. The workers that he did know went from home to work; work to home. They didn’t go out after they finished their shift, they didn’t talk about people they’d met, and they certainly didn’t talk about love. Hawks had asked them about it once, when he was younger; a teenager starting to go through puberty and dealing with a wide variety of new emotions. And he’d just watched two people his age kiss underneath a tree at the local park on his patrol route. So he was curious as to what emotion that was.
“It’s love, Hawks.” His trainer had said, as patient as they always were when he was curious. “It’s not something you’ll ever have to worry about.”
“Why not? Is love bad?” Hawks had asked.
The trainer had hesitated. “Sometimes. It can hurt, but it can be kind, but most of all, it needs time. And time is not something you’ll have much of once you debut.”
“So… I shouldn’t fall in love?”
“No, Hawks, you can’t fall in love.”
Despite his trainer’s words, Hawks found himself enamoured with the emotion, and as he entered his twenties, he wanted nothing more than to love someone. He didn’t care if it ended in tragedy or heartbreak. He didn’t care if it was the worst time of his life; he just wanted to know what it felt like to love someone. To wake up in the morning with someone else beside him. To have someone to come home to every night. To have someone to talk to that actually cared how his day had gone.
Hawks wanted to experience love.
But he didn’t think he ever would.
Dabi didn’t know what love was.
He’d heard of it, of course, but he didn’t believe in it. He couldn’t. Love to him was a false emotion used to manipulate others into doing what you wanted; used to hurt a person until they no longer knew what was love and what was pain. That was the kind of love that Dabi had grown up with. After all, his mother and his father had supposedly loved each other once, but by the time he was old enough to form memories of his own, their love had warped into something he didn’t recognize. All he remembered hearing was his mother and father arguing. All he remembered seeing was his fathers’ flames, and his mothers’ ice clashing together. All he remembered feeling was pain as he desperately tried to prove to his father that he was enough; that he was worthy of being loved; worthy of becoming a hero. But most of all, he remembered his heart breaking when his own mother, who should’ve supported him, turned her back on him as well.
Dabi didn’t understand it.
He didn’t know what love was.
Because he’d never been given it in the first place.
By the time Dabi had become a villain, he’d thrown away any form of love, rejecting it entirely. Anyone that tried to approach him with that stupid emotion found themselves burnt to a crisp; there was no room for love amongst his plans for revenge and destruction. Even once he’d joined the League, he rejected their attempts at getting closer to him, especially the attempts of Toga and Twice. It was easier to keep the likes of Shigaraki and Spinner at arm’s length; they weren’t overly interested in making friends either. But the rest of them? They tried and tried, and Dabi was reluctant to admit that they’d managed to weasel themselves into his tiny, shattered heart.
But he didn’t love them.
Love didn’t exist after all.
When the Number Two hero had approached him, telling him some bullshit story about how he wanted to join the League because of the way hero society was going, Dabi took the story with a grain of salt. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew exactly what it was that Hawks was hoping to achieve, and every instinct within him was screaming at him that letting Hawks even attempt to join would result in the destruction of everything they’d worked so hard for. Yet… there was something about the way that Hawks spoke; a strange look in the hero’s eyes that had Dabi hesitate.
It was hope.
It was so faint, that only years of observation allowed Dabi to notice it. It was the only part of Hawks that didn’t seem fake, the only part of him that was truthful as he continued to try and convince Dabi to let him into the League. Dabi was only half paying attention at that point, all too focused on those golden eyes that were telling him a different story to what was coming out of the hero’s mouth. Those eyes were telling him a story of pain and a desire to be free, yet Hawks’ body language was telling him the exact opposite. That was how he knew that Hawks was a liar.
He should’ve incinerated Hawks where he stood. He should’ve. No one would’ve questioned him, and it was the perfect opportunity to get rid of a high-ranking hero, someone that would certainly interfere with the League’s plans. But he didn’t. Instead, he reached out, one finger burning blue, and scorched a series of numbers into the arm of Hawks’ jacket. Was it necessary for him to have done that? No. But was it worth seeing the look on Hawks’ face as he did it? Yes.
“I’ll be in contact, hero.” Dabi said, turning on his heel and melding into the darkness from which he’d emerged from. The further he walked, the more he couldn’t forget those golden eyes, and the secrets they hid. Dabi couldn’t help but grin.
Hawks was a puzzle that he was going to enjoy unravelling.
The first few messages with Hawks were rather basic and sporadic; the hero far too busy with his work to actually respond much at all to Dabi’s attempts at conversation. It was annoying, but Dabi could accept it, for now. He wasn’t a smooth talker for nothing after all; he was almost certain that he’d manage to win Hawks over and discover the truth to his complexity. But for now, he’d settle with watching Hawks while he worked, finding a decently high rooftop that he could hide upon, and follow the hero, as weird as it was. Shigaraki had dared to call him a stalker when the man had seen just what it was that Dabi was doing, and it took everything in Dabi’s power to not incinerate the man. What he did with his spare time wasn’t anyone else’s business but his own.
In this time of observation, Dabi learnt a few things about Hawks; mainly that the hero was an absolute workaholic. Dabi had honestly never seen a hero that worked as much as Hawks did, and it had him questioning if the hero even slept. Considering he’d just watched Hawks down an entire can of coffee in one go, Dabi seriously doubted it. Maybe the hero had a secret secondary quirk that allowed him to not need sleep to function—although it seemed more likely that Hawks simply worked until he dropped, and took great care to make it appear that he wasn’t constantly sleep deprived.
Another thing that Dabi learnt, was that Hawks absolutely loved—literally—chicken. The few times Dabi had witnessed Hawks take a break; the hero had always managed to pull chicken seemingly out of thin air. Dabi honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if Hawks was the reason for the chicken shortage a few years back. Now that, had been an interesting year.
Eventually though, Hawks finally seemed to remember that Dabi actually existed, and began responding to the villain’s messages, meaning that Dabi could stop watching the hero while he worked. The messages between the both of them were still basic; more tentative attempts to discover more about the other without outright asking for the answers than an actual conversation. It was a technique that Dabi used on everyone that he communicated with, so to see Hawks using it right back at him was quite the surprise.
It was also frustrating to deal with. Anytime Dabi tried to get something out of Hawks, the hero managed to dodge it and throw some bullshit response his way. All Dabi wanted to know was what was actually going through Hawks’ mind, what could’ve possibly made the hero try and attempt to join the League. But without actually meeting with Hawks, there was no way that Dabi was going to learn anything.
So he arranged the first of many meetings.
It was tense; neither Hawks nor Dabi willing to give each other anything to work with. Not that they really spoke in the first place; they just watched each other, unmoving, until it was time for Dabi to leave with the promise of contacting Hawks in the future.
Hero and villain.
Pawn and gamemaster.
Dabi couldn’t help but grin as he walked away. This was just the start of the game; a game he was certain he’d win in the end. Why? Because Dabi wasn’t the type to take part in something he wasn’t going to win.
Months passed, and Dabi continued to talk and meet up with Hawks. Most of the time, the conversations they had were about heroes and villains, but recently, their talks had drifted onto other things; what they liked, what they disliked; mundane stuff that wasn’t really necessary for either of them to know in the first place. It was strange to talk about such things with the one person that was naturally Dabi’s enemy, yet he couldn’t help but do so. It was refreshing, to talk with someone that wasn’t a part of the League, because there was only so much of his fellow villains that Dabi could handle. Of course, living with a bunch of wanted villains came with its own eccentricities, but sometimes a villain just needed to talk to someone, or something, that wasn’t, well… a villain. But considering who Dabi was, his options were kind of limited.
“Why stay with the League if you can’t stand them?” Hawks had asked one time. It had been at one of their late-night meetings down at the docks, one of the meetings where he and the hero would just talk; the only light being the blue flame that Dabi let dance across his hand. A cold breeze had the hero fluffing his feathers, his wings being used as windbreakers, hands buried in his pockets. But despite the cold, Hawks’ eyes were bright and focused, focused on Dabi’s own eyes.
Dabi had pondered over Hawks’ words, breathing a puff of smoke into the winter air. Why did he hang around the League? He knew why of course; they were a means to an end, and that was that. Yet, somewhere along the way, they’d become some sort of messed up family to him. It was ironic to him; he’d run from one messed up family straight into another. Oh, how his mother would cry if she could see him now. “And where else would I go exactly, hero? Half the country wants me dead after all. Going it alone isn’t worth it now.”
Hawks had hummed, stepping over to where Dabi had stood at the waters edge, and plucked the cigarette from between his fingers, bringing it to his lips and exhaling. It would’ve been hot had the hero not immediately choked.
“There’s an art to that, birdbrain.” Dabi cackled, stealing back the cigarette to simply inhale and then exhale into Hawks’ face. To the hero’s credit, he didn’t flinch or cough; instead, he leaned in close, so close that their faces were only a few centimetres apart.
“Then why don’t you teach me?”
Somewhere along the way, Dabi realized that his relationship with Hawks had changed. No longer were they hero and villain, no longer were they simply acquaintances, but… whatever they were, Dabi didn’t have the words to describe it. Not only had Hawks made himself at the League headquarters—something that had only happened in the last month—but Dabi had also made himself at the hero’s apartment, which had also been a recent development—one that had only come to pass because of Dabi’s own shortcomings.
Seeing Hawks’ panicked expression as he tried desperately to not die from an infection had actually managed to make him feel the tiniest bit of guilt, even though he hadn’t really been able to control getting sick in the first place.
The fact that he and Hawks may have started to become friends, was enough for Dabi to keep his distance. Friendship wasn’t something he did, nor was it something he wanted. He had one goal, and he didn’t know if he was going to live or die once he’d accomplished that goal. And, well, the last thing he wanted to do was make the people closest to him sad; he’d done enough of that in his life already. It was simply best to keep everyone at arm’s length—even if he was failing at it—and pretend he saw them all as nothing more than a means to an end—another thing he was failing at. And he should’ve known that Hawks didn’t know what distance was, for any attempt that Dabi made at trying to keep his distance, Hawks just flew across that gap and dragged him back.
Not that Dabi minded. But he’d pretend he did.
Dabi liked to see the annoyance on Hawks’ face every time the hero had to track him down, the angry glint in his golden eyes that was softened by worry and concern that the hero couldn’t keep hidden from him. He liked to see the messy feathers and hair—and clothing—that came from the hero searching nearly the entirety of Japan for him. But most of all, he liked that Hawks had actually dropped everything to come looking for him in the first place. No one had ever done that for him before, and Dabi honestly didn’t know how he felt about it. It was strange, unfamiliar, yet nice all at the same time.
He could see the change in Hawks as well, the more their friendship bloomed. Hawks was no longer thinking about every word he said, instead speaking his mind as the words came to him, regardless of what they were. It had been amusing the first time he’d told Shigaraki to go fuck himself, although Hawks had been horrified at the time, and apologized profusely. But now? He didn’t hesitate to do so if someone from the League said something he didn’t like. Another thing that Dabi had noticed, was that Hawks actually looked less exhausted now; he looked like someone that was getting decent rest, and it pleased Dabi to know that that was the League’s doing, that Hawks could use them as an excuse to stop by and rest.
Look at them go, they were villains, and yet here they were, helping someone.
That was another thing too, that had changed. One that had taken many, many, months to accomplish. And that was getting Hawks to trust them enough to tell them why he was actually there. Well, tell Dabi at least. Because there was no way that he was letting Hawks tell the rest of the League, nor was he about to do the same either. Was it wrong? Maybe, but if Hawks did tell them, then there was no saving the hero. He’d be killed where he stood. Because knowing that Hawks’ endgame was to betray the League, even though the hero no longer wanted to, was the worst secret to have. Dabi had wanted to kill Hawks then and there after Hawks had told him. He’d wanted to protect this found family of his that he’d somehow gained, and the only way to do that was to kill the man threatening to undo everything they’d been working towards.
Yet he couldn’t.
Dabi had held a flaming hand inches away from Hawks’ throat, yet he’d been unable to follow through on the threat. Instead, he’d dropped his hand, and collapsed against Hawks.
“Why?” He’d asked. Hawks clearly didn’t want to complete his mission, he clearly held no love for the people shackling themselves to him, yet he still planned to do it anyway?
“I don’t know.” Hawks had whispered. The hero’s voice sounded the most broken that Dabi had ever heard it before, and he vaguely remembered Hawks crying over his sickly body.
But that had been the end of it.
Dabi simply went on pretending that Hawks had never told him anything in the first place. Because try as he might, Hawks meant a lot to him—so much so, that he was willing to jeopardize the League’s safety to keep the hero by his side.
And Hawks began to pretend as if he wasn’t being torn apart on the inside, as if the mere thought of betraying the League didn’t make him want to turn his sword on himself. Because he remembered that conversation long ago with his trainer about the one emotion, he couldn’t fall victim to.
Love.
“Dabi. Dabi.”
“What, Hawks?” Dabi refused to open his eyes, in a vain hope that the hero would take notice of his attempt to keep sleeping and leave him be. Just because Hawks could fall asleep before Dabi could even blink, did not mean he needed to be woken up at the crack of dawn.
“Wake up, I’m wasting away.” Apparently, Hawks had the awareness of a rock this morning, because the man dared to poke him.
Dabi’s eyes flew open and he growled. “And I’m trying to sleep, birdbrain. If the sun is not touching me, it’s not time to wake up.”
Hawks blinked, tilting his head in that adorable way he did when he didn’t quite get something. “But the curtains are shut?”
“Exactly.” Dabi rolled over in the bed and closed his eyes again. “You aren’t working today, birdbrain, you are allowed to rest.”
“I know…” He felt the bed shift around, until Hawks’ warm body was pressed against his back, a large wing draping over the two of them. “It’s just hard to—”
“Relax, I know. Just close your eyes, and let some time pass. Maybe you’ll sleep, maybe you won’t. But I will, so just get up when I wake up again.” Dabi pressed his back to Hawks’ chest as a way to tell the hero he wasn’t going anywhere. Whenever Hawks had a rare day off, like this one, the morning was the best part of it; getting to lay in bed and forget about the fact that Hawks was a hero and he was a villain, and that they were actually enemies. Dabi would never admit it, but he enjoyed these days, and he could tell that Hawks did as well, if the way that the hero’s body became heavy against him as Hawks slipped back into sleep.
Dabi grinned at the singular snore that came from the hero.
Today was going to be a good day.
When Dabi woke up a couple of hours later, Hawks was still asleep. Perfect. Just how he wanted it. Carefully, Dabi extricated himself from the grip that Hawks had on him, taking a great amount of care to avoid jostling the hero. The last thing he wanted was Hawks waking up and finding out what he was planning.
The plan being breakfast.
It wasn’t often that Dabi cooked, since being a wanted person living in abandoned houses and warehouses didn’t leave much time to spend on cooking decent food. So, whenever he got the opportunity to stay with Hawks, he always made an effort to cook, especially since the last time he did so, Hawks had tried cooking and given them both food poisoning. The rest of the League hadn’t let him live that down for weeks, and Dabi hadn’t let Hawks set foot in the kitchen again since. It wasn’t Hawks’ fault anyway that he couldn’t cook; it wasn’t like the HPSC had made the time to teach their perfect hero how to cook. Apparently, cooking wasn’t a necessary skill to being a hero.
Breakfast wasn’t going to be anything fancy, on account for Dabi’s own poor appetite on the best of days, and Hawks not really eating breakfast in general, but there was nothing wrong with a simple meal to start the day. Dabi tiptoed towards the kitchen slowly, grabbing out the ingredients he needed as silently as possible. It reminded him of his childhood briefly, sneaking out to the kitchen once everyone else was asleep to sneak food out of the kitchen, and after years of doing it, he’d never been caught.
“Oh, so that’s why you wanted me to go back to sleep.” Hawks sleepy voice drifted into the kitchen, the hero appearing a moment later, feathers ruffled and out of place, and hair sticking up like Hawks had been shot with a spark of electricity. It was nothing a good preening wouldn’t fix, and it was adorable, so Dabi wasn’t going to say anything. Savour the moment and all.
Dabi pointed the spatula he was holding at Hawks. “You sit and wait. No kitchen for you.”
“Are you serious? That was one time, Dabi!” Hawks huffed, but still obeyed him and sat in one of the chairs at the island.
“One time I don’t care to repeat, bird brain. But no, I’m almost done. So, sit.”
“I am sitting.”
“Shut up.” Dabi turned back to the bacon and eggs he was cooking. Could he cook something a little fancier? Certainly. Did he want to? Absolutely not. And from the tired look on Hawks’ face, he didn’t seem to care whether he was served the Taj Mahal of breakfasts, or just a few pieces of meat and some eggs.
A comfortable silence fell upon the room, the only sound the sizzling of bacon, and the clinking of dishes as Dabi moved about the kitchen. He chanced a glance towards Hawks, grinning a little when he noticed the hero’s head pillowed on his arms, and his eyes closed. Whether the hero was actually sleeping or not, he didn’t know, but if Dabi made sure to move around a little quieter, then who was going to know?
“Hawks.” Dabi whispered, placing a plate of food in front of the hero once he’d finished cooking. When the hero didn’t move, Dabi nudged him with the plate.
Hawks shot up, eyes flicking from side to side before they focused on the plate in front of him. Pink dusted the hero’s cheeks as he seemed to realize he’d been asleep. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Guess so.” Dabi moved to sit beside Hawks with his own plate of food. “It’s tiring work, saving the world after all.”
“No hero talk at the table.” Hawks scolded. “But yes, that would be why I’m tired.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you have the day off today. Plenty of time to sleep, and you have your own personal heater to keep you warm.”
“Wow, my own personal heater, how lucky am I?” Hawks grinned.
The two of them engaged in quiet chatter as they ate, simply talking about meaningless things; the latest fashion trends, a new restaurant opening up in the city, or Hawks crashing into a window like the dumb bird he was, and Dabi throwing the League out of their latest hideout to give it a good cleaning. It was things like that, that allowed them to enjoy each other’s company, to forget about the world outside that continued to turn around them.
“Is this the plan for the day? Laze about on the couch and watch movies?” Dabi questioned when Hawks dragged him into the living room after breakfast and practically shoved him into the couch.
“Is there something wrong with that?” Hawks raised an eyebrow at him before going to sit at Dabi’s feet on the floor. A subtle hint for what he truly wanted without actually asking for it.
Dabi grinned, immediately running heated hands through Hawks’ wings, smoothing out the ruffled feathers, enjoying the way they felt beneath his hands. “No, of course not. As long as it’s not some lame hero movie, I’m down.”
“What if it’s one of my movies?” Hawks looked over at Dabi, a grin on his face.
“You don’t have a movie.”
“No, but I could’ve.”
Dabi huffed, and pushed Hawks’ head back to the front. “Shut up and pick a movie, will you?”
In the end, Hawks picked a movie that neither of them had seen—a romcom from the looks of it. Dabi couldn’t help but cringe, although he kept his mouth shut. It may not be a genre he liked in particular, but it was what Hawks wanted to watch, so he’d make the sacrifice. It just meant that he could spend more time focusing on the wings in front of him; make sure that all the feathers were neat and back in their rightful places.
It also gave him the time to think about everything.
Dabi knew that what was going on between him and Hawks couldn’t last forever—he couldn’t deviate from his mission, and Hawks couldn’t deviate from his own. It was something that had coursed arguments between them in the past before they’d realized that it was simply easier to just move past it and take advantage of the time they did have. Did it hurt? Regrettably, yes, but there was nothing that either of them could do about it. It was why, on days like today, that Dabi took the time to pamper Hawks, because he knew that when he was gone—dead or imprisoned, he didn’t know—that there would be no one to do so.
“What’s wrong?” Dabi was dragged from his mind as Hawks tilted his head to look up at him, concern on his face.
Dabi frowned, and poked Hawks between his eyes. “Nothings wrong, go back to your movie.”
“Nah, that’s your thinking face, and I thought we both agreed no thinking on these days.”
“I’ll think if I want to. Not that I was.” Dabi leant back against the back of the couch, pulling his hands away from Hawks’ wings, the hero whining at the lack of warmth.
Hawks stared at him for a moment—ignoring the movie as it continued to play in the background—before clamouring onto the couch and wriggling himself into Dabi’s arms. Dabi gave the hero a weak glare, but didn’t try to stop Hawks, just allowing Hawks to jostle him around until they were both comfortable. Dabi was now leaning against the side of the couch with Hawks spread out on top of him, arms wrapped around his waist, and blonde hair tickling his chin. Dabi couldn’t help but relax at the familiar position, for it was one that they usually ended up in at least once whenever the two of them hung out at Hawks’ home.
Hawks liked it for the warmth that came from Dabi.
Dabi liked it for the touch that came from Hawks.
No more words were said between them, yet Dabi could tell that Hawks knew exactly what it was that he’d been thinking about—if the tight grip was anything to go by—and he dropped a hand to rest on the blonde locks beneath him, running his fingers through them every now and then. Dabi shifted so that he wasn’t sitting up so much, and focused all of his attention on the movie playing, cracking jokes and making snide remarks at the characters until he felt Hawks relax against him.
Just as it should be.
For today was a day to forget the world.
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saad-says07 · 2 years
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Health and Fitness for Busy people's
 If you're busy in the middle of labor and residential life, sometimes it is easy to overcompensate by over-doing things - that's not helping your performance or getting enough sleep. There are some tips to follow once you end up overdoing it. Here are some suggestions to implement for your next workout or event! First, start small and obtain your high. Start with smaller, manageable changes that make a much bigger difference the primary time around. Also, don't try and fix something that won't break. Try changing your technique or your body build for a particular area or performing some stretches that help your back, butt, or neck where you have got pain. you'll be able to also look online and see what people do to boost their health. When you're ready, gradually add more small steps. That way, you will find they take less effort to try and do than if you simply did a bunch of giant leaps. Next, concentrate on what quantity of sleep you would like. although you're busy, you wish your time to induce enough shut-eye so that you do not get up as a zombie in the middle of the night. a decent rule of thumb is eight hours daily, but sometimes your body needs more. hunt for the signs of fatigue in your body, like chipped teeth, headaches, weak muscles, and even swollen glands. do not get angry at yourself because it's only been three hours. It wasn't a good thing to consider, remember? specialize in keeping your brain alert and performing your best work. For example, maybe you wish an additional half-hour of shut-eye, but rather than going out and doing anything, you wish to hold out with people who have it worse than you. Well, then, go find them online. visit any gym or fitness center that has something at no cost low prices. the net can facilitate you become responsive to the ways many athletes spend extra money than you are doing. Find classes that supply classes that are right for you and do not let others push you into something you're not suited to doing (or not getting used to doing) in a very healthy state. Maybe you'll join one free class that suits your schedule and want your muscles are becoming stronger after another long stretch. or even you wish to work out with new people every other week and want an excuse to travel. this may offer you an opportunity to fulfill new people and rejoice while maintaining your safety. As soon as you discover these special classes online, start going. And if you're feeling lost, head together with everyone else to different gyms before too long. Get to understand your trainers and coaches and ask questions, especially if you've joined groups. And if you wish it the foremost, maybe find someone to come back live at your local gym at no cost. this may facilitate your avoiding feeling lonely and it'll also get you started in other parts of your life that you simply might need to want to understand. Remember, not all gyms offer free classes or perhaps private lessons. they may charge admission, you know. But hey, this might be a tremendous
opportunity to experience something others may never get. So why not make the most of it? Finally, it is vital to contemplate the standard of your gym. Yes, it is simple to go to an area and expect everything to run smoothly, right? Wrong! ensure you raise lots of options and do not skimp on your experience. Check online reviews of the locations you would like to travel to. Most gyms have several options and you'll be able to check this out beforehand. fire advise about equipment and the way hard it'd be to complete a workout. If you're worried about injuries, you would possibly want to bring some medical tape or paper towels as a barrier just in case something bad happens. See what the placement has in deep trouble safety precautions. even as your workouts can become easier to complete on a stationary bike or at the gym, so can your working week. Some gyms may offer longer hours than others. that's normal, especially for younger gyms. These longer hours are very beneficial for the growing body, which usually helps in building muscle size. It also helps keep older people engaged and active. So the next time you discover yourself too busy to finish a workout, take a glance at the following tips and work on your body in small, steady increments. Once you get enough energy back, you'll need better control over how far you'll push yourself throughout your training routine. Don't overdo it at the primary sign of exhaustion. specialize in improving your body when it needs it. Then, slowly, increase that quantity of rest time until you reach that ideal amount of your time.
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survivingtheaudacity · 3 months
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Let me introduce myself:
~29 years young with the body of a 90 year old;
~Born into a rural town where drug use has always been rampant, I was born to two addicts with a family of addiction problems. My father was in jail more often then not and my mother cared more about finding her next high then her kids; the state came and saved us from the sex offender our mom had dropped us off with at 6.
~Adopted by a couple who had a daughter and didn’t want to biologically pass on my soon to be fathers family history of mental health issues.
~Started working at a local ranch at 15; realized how completely toxic my parents are. This is where I met the man who showed me true parental love and he taught me his passion to cook, and became one of the few people who knew the truth about my home life.
~Found my voice and ability to stand up for myself while pregnant at 18.
~Graduated with a high school diploma while 5 months pregnant not living at home with an advanced diploma and a passion for photography and technology.
~My adopted mother told everyone I had metal health issues which is why I was not speaking to them; and was finally showing the world her true colors.
~19 and pregnant with a young son, I started waitressing at a strip club; was told by my parents I was the town whore and had to quit immediately. Did the complete opposite and became a dancer for the next 6 years until I blew my knee out and was told by my doctor I would never be able to chase after my kids if I continued.
~Sexually assaulted by someone who was supposed to protect me; was told no one would believe me because I was a exotic dancer.
~Got married to a man my parents hate; we went on to have another daughter.
~Spent half of our marriage helping his mother who is was a addict with multiple mental health issues who became addicted to Xanax where she would continue to struggle with her addiction and cause a major divide in the already blended family,
~Eventually went to school to become a EMT and got divorced while teaching pre-k.
~Fell in love with an addict who would become physically and emotionally and mentally abusive; finally had the strength and left after he tried to kill me high; would continue to find out where I lived and show up.
~Become homeless after my lease wasn’t renewed for getting rent assistance with Covid; beat homelessness 9 months later.
~Develop panic disorder after being followed by two of my ex husband’s parents; my parents and there friends after pressing charges {and them being found guilty} and being awarded a protective order when I was assaulted by one of them infront of my children.
~Continue therapy and learned what protecting my peace looks like for me; cut out toxic relationships while growing with my best friend.
~and most importantly I discovered my passion for helping people; being there voice when they need one; and making sure that no one feels alone.
My comeback this year is personal. I will protect my peace, no matter the cost. I will no longer protect toxic people or there behaviors and will show the world there true colors; expose the corruption in our society that is in the programs and people it was built to protect. I will start a nonprofit helping those who feel alone. I will advocate but I will not be a door mat. I will use my voice to share the good the bad and the ugly. I will learn to love my self, my body and my appearance and help others love themselves.
If you made it this far, congratulations and thank you!
I hope you enjoy my writing and my art. Any hateful comments will be ignored or answered with the most amount of sass research and years of screenshots and documentation. I am open to learning new things, and seeing other sides of arguments as long as it’s not said in a hateful manner then I just turn bi+chy. If you don’t like what’s posted or my opinion it’s super simple to scroll right past.
Never forget:
your smart, your strong, your loved and you are worth it.
#SurvivingTheAudacity🖤
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dzpenumbra · 1 year
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1/6/23
Good lord my brain is fried. I was just trying to figure out how big Europe is compared to the US, because I wanted to make some factually-informed comment about how it's kinda ridiculous how people on one side of this absolutely gargantuan continent are expected to act like people on the other side are like... part of the same country. Like... can you imagine if British people were expected to act like Belarus is part of the same country? That what is happening over there is 100% relevant to their everyday lives. But the second you hit Asia, nope, that's not relevant. I'm sorry, it's fucking odd.
Like... I have no goddamn clue what's going on in Canada right now. Very little knowledge of their politics, culture, fashion, fads, economy, even history honestly. It makes me feel pretty bad, in hindsight, now that I think about it. I am 40 miles away from the Canadian border. I am expected to treat that culture, that land, those people, as though they are not relevant to my everyday life. As though things that go on across that border line do not affect my everyday life. However, I am expected to treat policies that are being passed at a state level 1600 miles away (that's 2600 km for those of you who use real units of measurement) as though they are directly applicable to my everyday life and my local culture. People start freaking out about lunatics 2500 miles away (~3800 km) as though they are in our backyard. And I take a second and go... wait, what else is 2500 miles away? Um... fucking Colombia. Yep, I actually have other continents that are closer to my current location than that shit. And I think that cognitive dissonance is kinda fucking people up, to be honest. I feel it. So like... I guess I just wanted to say something about that. News stations make shit seem like it's happening in your backyard when it's happening half a world away. It's sick, really. It's sensationalism, not journalism - remember that word? So yeah, just like... it's okay for California to have a different culture than Florida. They are entirely different biomes. And in another parallel universe, would likely be different countries. So let's just try to ground ourselves a bit on that.
If you live in a different country, one that is smaller, has more cultural identity, more history, a closer knit society. One that has neighboring borders somewhat nearby where people speak other languages. It may be hard to relate to how... weird it is for us. How our cultural identity is such a massive melting pot that we are basically perpetually in a state of identity crisis.
Why am I writing about this? XD It's 2:30 AM. Okay, let me tell you. I briefly saw the murderer-of-the-week show up on my taskbar when I was trying to check the weather. Some really broken dude 2500 miles away and I need that showing up on my fucking taskbar by default. Putting that dude's face on everyone's computer like he's a celebrity or some shit, like he's someone important. It upset me a bit. I have enough shit to worry about, man. I don't need to know every creepy crawly thing lurking in the shadows on the other side of the continent. Sorry. I'm gonna have to look for a way to turn that shit off, because apparently we're in the age where people just decide that you by default do want ads and clickbait, and you need to opt out of it. Because that's totally how consumerism works, by force feeding people and saying "oh, you can opt out at any time, remember? you're doing this to yourself, really..." </rant>
I know, I didn't <rant> but you know what I mean. It's a joke, people.
So, I watched Tenet tonight. I just finished a little bit ago. I really enjoyed it, it was incredibly well crafted, very cutting-edge Nolan. Very impressive. I watched a few videos on YouTube on analysis and things people picked up on second watches, which confirmed a few of my suspicions and showed me new perspectives too. Really cool concepts. Wish I had people to discuss it with, but like... I never really have. So... c'est la vie for now.
I remember when I was in college, I went to see Inception with my girlfriend at the time. She was a girl I had a big crush on, her dad was a teacher in our art department. I don't even know why I was attracted to her, in hindsight, she was very different from me and really not my type... I think... I don't know if I have a "type"... but I was incredibly naïve. I always have been a bit... less socially matured? I guess? I think it's a neurodiversity thing, I don't know. But mostly around girls and stuff, very inexperienced, very aloof and just like... behind. She was a friend, we'd go out to get dinner after class and stuff, and after a while I built up the nerve to ask her out. And she said she needed some time to think about it, and took like 4 days. Kind of a red flag, yeah? But she said okay, and we dated for like... just under a year. It was, by leaps and bounds, the longest relationship I had ever had at that point, and I was like... 21? Maybe 22? I was dating her, it was summer, we went to see Inception in the theaters and we went back to her apartment above a computer repair shop after and I spent the night. And we didn't talk about it at all. I wanted to, but she didn't. And I remember it being awkward and distant and... kinda like... we're just going to sleep now. I'm guessing it freaked her out. Or unzipped some heavy shit. Which kinda shows me how that was really never a real relationship. It was shallow. It was kinda... I was a person to keep around for what she wanted, not a person to confide in, a confidant. Not someone to open up to. Not someone to have deep talks with and share your vulnerabilities with. Which makes me sad, because at that stage in my life that was all I wanted to be.
So yeah, haven't really had anyone there to do the deep talks with. And when I do find the person I can have those talks with, and that I find physically attractive, and that I can mutually open up with. I'll be a very happy man. Someday. But I've heard that involves leaving the house... which is a sliiiiiight problem... XD
But hey, check out this slick fuckin transition... I went out into town today! Very briefly, to be honest. I went to get my cat's prescription food, and stopped at a grocery store to get a bunch of Monster and cat litter. And, since I left around rush hour... I took an alternate route back, which was a nice change of pace. It wasn't much, but I did get out of the house. I met a doggy at the vet, they were very nice and very excited to meet me. It was lovely and a little hard at the same time. I miss dog time so much. I miss just rolling around on the floor and half-wrestling and all that. Physical bonding, play. Good lord, that's a pretty crazy realization. I mean, my cat is lovely and all, and the comfy beanbag chair thing is creating a venue where we can cuddle up together more often than just bedtime... but besides that, physical affection, physical touch in general... it's completely absent from my life. That's gotta fuck you up, man. So the dog gave me a nice recharge, and, in hindsight, I'm looking back at that situation like... I was very obviously a dog owner. XD I had this big bundle of energy black lab right next to me and the owner was like "how's he gonna react to this" and the tail was whipping back and forth and a big old smile on the dogs face and I'm just like "hey man, is it cool if I pet your dog". He was like "yeah, (they) love people." And I come from an area where like... people were super tight leash, don't let dogs meet new people and shit. Which was so fucking unfortunate. But I immediately was like multitasking paying for the food while petting this dog which was, from a third party perspective, like... pretty obvious that I was a dog owner. That whole "we're playing, but dad's also doing something right now, but we're still playing, I'll be right there!" It was like second nature to me. So yeah, a nice recharge.
Maybe I should walk dogs for people, I think I'd really like that. I'll think about it.
When I got back, I did chores even. I tried to keep momentum, once I get out the door and get stuff going, I can keep that ball rolling. So I did trash, compost and laundry too. Then I called my mom to order a TV. It's been on the list. I had to scrap my old TV, I told that story before. I decided to get this one on Instacart, so I just have to pick it up at the door. That way, I don't have to rearrange the whole room when I want to watch something in the comfy chair, I can just go watch on the TV rather than my computer. I saw a big price tag and started stressing out. My stress out made my mom stress out. 2 hours later, she got the message that I need reassurance, warmth, kindness, stuff like that in those moments. Just like "Yes, 300-400 bucks is a lot for you, but this is a move-in gift, a replacement of your old tv and a christmas gift. It's okay." But in the moment, it's like neither of us can find those words - either her to tell me that, or me to like... tell her how to talk me down? And it just... it can get pretty dark pretty quick. But I'll tell ya, nothing feels more like being stuck in quicksand than being really stressed and kinda panicking, and having to coach someone on how to help calm you down. It's like... why the fuck am I not just doing that for myself at that point? Like... I'm trying to be cool about it, but like... I need a bit more participation than that.
Anyway, all's well that ends well, at least it wasn't another goddamn fight. I'm super tired, like actually nodding off, so I'm gonna go to bed.
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luminenwalker · 1 year
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Catchup 2
Is this thing recording? We're live? Great. Welcome everyone to the renewed broadcast of Degenerate Signal. //Luminen
"Choices have consequences, and the city remembers."
This is going to be the beginning of me bringing things back to life here. Degenerate Signal, as I always thought was an alternative lens to the regular broadcasts. To start, with it being October, I'm going to do daily recommendations for Horror content. //Luminen 
Half-serious, non-canon debate is to be expected. For one the internet doesn't function as it does now in Cinci. It's not a part of regular life. So, Degenerate Signal is a place for minor fiction and commentary on my part. //Luminen
This includes old stuff from Afternoon Ashes, and all the stuff that doesn't make the cut for the main @cpdwire channel. //Luminen
The format is as such. Today's story is Psychosis, by Matt Dymerski. The stories I recommend will come with a reading as I know a lot of people listen to these stories that way. I do. Helps me think. I more than casually enjoy this story. //Luminen
It's what really started my interest in horror. The paranoia, isolation, desperation. It's recognizable to me. There's a moment in isolation where you become like this if you let it happen. //Luminen 
Not this far, but paranoia like this is a slippery slope in the modern age where fiction and reality blur like nothing else. //Luminen 
What's so immoral about looting a dead body? You can't take it with you, reduce reuse recycle! //Sypha 
Sorry for going silent. Today's story is Spores, by a user who called themselves CrazyMonkeiBoi. The version I'm linking is read by Benjamin Lisman. Always enjoyed this read, high quality performer and I liked this version of the story. //Luminen
I don't think the actual story as it was posted is as good, honestly. It loses a lot of the character I found in this and I'm not really sure where the writer was going in the other stuff he posted. Not to knock him, still a good idea. //Luminen 
Fleshgait by EmpyrealInvective. Narrated by NaturesTemper. A story about confusion and paranoia in the wilderness. Creature feature. This is a classic in this style of horror. At least I consider it one. //Luminen
It's a good piece of horror fiction, with that kind of wrongness that sticks with you. //Luminen
Pretty sure the cashier at my local GDX is a mutant. Thought it was some weirdass implant at first, but they definitely have more joints than they should. Well, working retail is hard enough as is—I'll let them be. //Verdigris 
There is a lot of pleasure in standing over the beaten down bodies of five street thugs that tried to jump you as you passed through an alley. Don't neglect your hand to hand training kids. //DareDevil 
When someone tries to tell you "Violence isn't the answer", you can always reply with the words of the prophet. "This shoebox full of C-4 begs to differ!" //Bad Wolf 
Today's selection is Milk Teeth by Colby Newton. Narrated by Heather Ordover. Lovely little story and read in the vein of stories like Children of Men, about the end of us. //Luminen 
What do you mean bluetooth? Why the hell would I want bluetooth on my fucking mechanical heart? So that someone will use one of them damn phones and turn it into a disco? //Aunt Jenny 
Staring down the scope and looking at a stranger's face. Just another aspect of myself in the Web of Life, playing its part. The pulling of the trigger. Murder of another. And yet its just me killing me. //Little Bear 
"It's gonna snow soon, but that don't mean go 'head and make snow angels- you'll be surprised with cocaine." // Zilla 
Error reports received. Await further *instructions.* //Station 
*-Dialing.* Exposure of pattern in Cincinnati apparent. Gradient leaving acceptable threshold. //Station 
*-Immediate* cull of local pattern necessary. Activation advised before *public-.* //Station 
*-cruelty;* sinister at the core. The participants are willing. Made willing. //RRH 
Yankee Echo Foxtrot. Lima Lima Foxtrot. Oscar Whiskey Foxtrot. Kilo India Foxtrot. November Gulf Foxtrot. //RRH
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canadian-riddler · 3 years
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I yearn for the worldbuilding skills of George Lucas
#so says Indy#obviously there are other people who are really good at it e.g. JRR Tolkein but I was never able to get into LotR#I tried but I think I don't like high fantasy#writing angst#sort of lol#there's... George RR Martin but that's also high fantasy so I'm not in a rush to try GoT though I THINK he wrote sci-fi before that#and JK Rowling but the world is very#there's a lot to it but it's also all in Britain kind of thing#and when she tried to expand on it she just sort of did 'it's Britain but in another country'#which you see a lot in fanfiction where someone tries to write a property from a country they don't live in#Valve is good at worldbuilding in a similar way#they have a very big world but in a very specific context#they have this huge planet-spanning conflict but there's not really a sense of what's happening outside of what they tell you about#it's not mentioned how they got from New Mexico to Europe or indeed how the rest of the world is doing#like where are the locals why is everyone in Half-Life someone who used to work at Black Mesa#are we supposed to infer the Combine sent everyone in the world to Europe? why?  is some Russia-adjacent place the best place to keep people#but I already know the reasons things aren't explained in Half-Life is because the writers don't know and are going to figure it out later#when they deem it important#so maybe the world will get bigger later idk#check back in 13 years#anyway tldr of the best worldbuilding I can think of I like George Lucas's the best
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