#like yeah!! i know i can!! im making ART that’s literally all being an artist is no matter what the quality of the piece is

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?

So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[desceros]

me: [looks at calendar, gets a wicked idea, looks into the camera] happy springtime, turtle fam! who's ready to celebrate the season?

...mating season, that is. hehe. [dodges the tomatoes]

so! i had the idea that it would be super fun to have a community-wide event where we all have a prompt and then everyone fills it in their own way.

...i then decided all the prompts i came up with were too good not to use, but also none of them were Good Enough to use exclusively, so i changed my mind and the prompt is now just MATING SEASON. with a few suggestions at the bottom of this post if you're looking for some.

since spring is coming upon us, i hereby invite everyone to join in the vernal festivities... which in turtle parlance, of course, means only one thing: write, draw, whatever your version of "mating season", then join me on march 1 to post it with the tag #TMNTSpringShellebration. we then shall browse the fine selection of our mutual artistic efforts, and basically just have a good time as a community.

here are the prompts i came up with as starters-slash-things-to-include if you're looking for a place to get started. feel free to use these at will, or use them to come up with something of your own:

“Please don’t make me explain this. It’s humiliating as is.”

Oops, Looks Like Mating Season Came A Week Early This Year

“…In all of my mating seasons, this has never happened before.”

“I told you not to come by! It’s mating season!”

Probably should have expected it to be different now that he’s not going through it alone.

Because of Shenanigans, you have to wait. Wait… Wait… ok now.

They’re not the right person for mating season… but they’re the one who’s here, so…

“Show me where it hurts."

so yeah! see you all on march 1 for the, uh, spring shellebration. party popper emoji

questions i imagine will be popping up and i hope will clear up here before my askbox swells beyond capacity under the cut to keep this post from being Way Too Long. also it's really not that serious it's just an excuse to write slash draw for everyone Please Don't Take This Thing Too Seriously It's Not That Serious:

"can i participate?" yes! it's literally just an invitation to do something. nothing fancier than that. no need to be following me or in my friend group or whatever.

"can i write (insert fic idea here)?" yep! so long as it's related to the idea of mating seasons, it flies. reader insert? hell yea. oc? hell yeah. solo turtle and his favorite pillow? go for it.

"can i draw (insert art idea here)?" yep! uh. i know tumblr has the cops watching for sin bin material, but you art people know how to deal with that. and if you don't, uh, ask the other art people. im just a feral cat in a trench coat

"how do i participate?" write/draw/collect songs for/whatever. then, on march 1, post it and tag it #TMNTSpringShellebration. also, for funsies, keep it hush hush what you're working on so we can all be super shocked when the day comes! except, y'know, that you're planning on joining in. totally do that.

"when do i post it?" march 1. whenever on that day. waves hands around in a vague gesture at time zones not mattering. seriously don't take this so seriously it's just me wanting to create cool shit with my friends with a little more structure to it

"does it have to be horny?" i mean. it's an event about mating season. so by definition it's going to be at least a little horny. but however you interpret it is cool. even if it's just. idk. leo sitting sweatily in a chair looking longingly at a glass of water bc he's thirstier than usual. be smart about things, people. i'm not your dad.

"which tmnt verse is this for?" whichever one you want it to be for!! rise! bayverse! 2007! your fan iteration! your friend's fan iteration! your mortal enemy's fan iteration! yes!

"will you be reblogging everything?" absolutely not, but this isn't an event About Me. i am incidental to the thing. it's about Us. coming together as a community. for horny turtles. puts my hands on your shoulders. do it for you. for your friends. for the community.

#text tag #feel free to reblog this around. it started out as a thing for turtle fam but we all agreed that it would be fun for The Community #anyway yeehaw let's spend all of february thinking about what to do and then the night of feb 29 doing it RAH #tmntspringshellebration

[shokolandish]

viv is not a good person and i don't support her, but ive got a hyperfixation right now and im gonna make that everybody else's problem

besides, separate art from the artist or whatever

hazbin has a shit ton of mistakes, problems, same body and hell, even same clothes syndrome. does hell only have one shop or something???

but i just kiiiinda enjoy (?) it for what it is

and ive seen a lot of people do redesigns and that seems really fun and honestly, the characters have a lot of potential that's just blatantly ignored by the show

aaaanyways, after all that out of the way, i present to you...

finished refs for two of my redesigns for the cast!!! did the main couple first, naturally

soo, here's charlie

age: about 22 in human years

and vanessa!

age: about 25 years old. not sure if angels age differently but that's her age in human years

some notes under the cut

Charlie

- yep, i made her non-binary. just get a lot of non-binary energy from xer. besides, i like the hc of them preferring the name charlie over charlotte because it sounds more gender-neutral

- i like to imagine xer a bit on the bigger side complexion-wise. like, i don't know if you could call her chubby but she is a bit plump and really soft to the touch not only because of the fur. i feel like being soft and having more soft edges in buns design would fit buns character more

- she's not freakishly tall anymore!!!! like.. i don't mind her being tall because she's the princess of hell after all.. also have you seen how tall lilith is???? but i feel like sometimes it's TOO much... also honestly it also just fits them more imo??

- they're a redhead now. I MEAN LIKE. both lucifer and lilith were described with red hair in old paintings.. i just had to.

Vanessa

- yeah yeah i made her a demigirl... her original color palette just screamed demigirl. like. it was literally the demigirl flag color palette.

- i thought of naming her violet but that'd be a little too on the nose i think- gave her actual hips!! and not whatever was going on in her original design (the waist just going straight into the legs)

- also made her a little more.. (uh i guess the appropriate word is "thicc") overall- yeah i also redesigned the angelic spear a bit. not too proud of it but i think it gets the idea across

- i don't usually.. draw noses, but i figured it was a pretty big/most recognizable part of her design so i gave her one.

- oh yeah btw she's not gray anymore!!!! yippee!!!!! like what's even up with viv and making poc characters gray. anyways since she's a fallen angel i figured giving her a more human appearance would make sense. we've seen winners in heaven and a lot of them look pretty human. even if we only look at exorcists, lute looks pretty human too.

writing notes

okay, so, i wanna give you some notes about the writing, but before i do - i am NOT a professional writer, im just a kid who has some criticism for the hellfire of a show hazbin is

with that out of the way...

chaggie's writing

okay so. chaggie am i right.

so, ill just get this out of the way - it's boring

like, really boring

chaggie defenders will say they're just "casual" and im an asshole for wanting more from them but you can be casual and not be FUCKING BORING

like.. all of their interactions just go the same waythey comfort each other or hold hands or vaggie is trying to convince charlie to do something and she NEVER. FUCKING. LISTENS. like seriously.

the only time she actually listened was when vaggie convinced her to be more assertive but she was trying to do it anyway... and she changed vaggie's words and did her own thing anyways

they don't even have that much chemistry. and they're like, the main couple. they're supposed to have chemistry.

hell, emily and charlie had more chemistry in one episode they interacted in than vaggie and charlie in the whole damn show

vaggie's writing

vaggie's writing.. it's... sigh.

she doesn't really feel like a separate character when she's with charlie

they're just. doing the same thing. over and over again. all of their interactions are the fucking same. like.. i wanna care but i just have no reason to. i just DON'T FUCKING CARE.

even vaggie's whole deal in "whatever it takes" is her just?? dedicating her life to being charlie's partner?? and not even being her own person and living for herself??? like. what's up with that. maybe i just didn't pay enough attention??? i can't be bothered to rewatch any chaggie scenes in episode 2 because they did not deserve that drama and i just don't care enough

im supposed to care but i don't

the show just. doesn't give me any reason to care.

vaggie interacting with ANY other character is so much more interesting - i don't know what to expect, i can't predict it!

vaggie interacting with alastor? hell yeah! we never know alastor's intentions and seeing vaggie not taking any of his shit is really entertaining!

vaggie interacting with angel dust? sure! id love to hear the bickering or maybe them having to put up being alone with each other for an episode? maybe both of them having to put up with charlie's shenanigans and bonding over that?

vaggie interacting with niffty? okay sure! a lil gremlin and an involuntary caretaker maybe with vaggie seeing niffty can take care of herself? or vaggie trying to put up with her insanity?

vaggie interacting with husk? oh hell yeah, they both seem to be the straight man in any situation (despite neither of them being straight but whatever), maybe they can have a drink or two together.

vaggie interacting with pentious? yes please! she'd not take any of his shit, but honestly? pentious' obliviousness with vaggie's seriousness could be a very fun dynamic!

but charlie? yeah i can just. predict any interaction they'll have.

and that's not really a good thing with the main couple

because it just gets old really quickly

and we see them all the time, so after some time they can just start to irritate people

how would i fix it?

MAKE THEM INTERESTING, DAMN IT

maybe make charlie listen to vaggie more often??

or maybe vaggie getting a bit irritated because charlie doesn't take her advice seriously

or maybe actually show us how they fell in love?? not just love at first sight or whatever they had in the flashback

like, id love to see actual chemistry develop!or maybe make their interactions not as predictable??

or maybe actually show us how they work together

have an episode dedicated to them

that's the problem with trying to fit everything into one season - the character and relationship developments can end up rushed and just. not very good.

like.. the season we got could be easily stretched out into two or three, WHERE ARE YOU GOING SO FAST, SHOW?? why so fast

this show doesn't know about the existence of filler episodes and we NEED filler episodes

to actually get to know the characters, to explore dynamics, to get to know the world around them

the season is just way too short to tell the story it's trying to say

and if i didn't care about a character from the start and the show doesn't let me meet them... im not gonna just start caring.

---

anyways, that's about it! im definitely gonna do more, i even have angel and pentious ready:) niffty, husk, alastor, emily or adam are next after them, i already have them sketched out

idk what order im gonna post them in but we'll see i guess

---

bonus:

some concepts

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel rewrite #(?) #chaggie #chanessa #charlie x vaggie #hazbin #tw hazbin hotel #tw hazbin #cw hazbin hotel #cw hazbin #charlie morningstar #charlie hazbin hotel #vaggie #vaggie hazbin hotel #vanessa #vanessa hazbin hotel #my art #my hazbin redesigns

[swords-of-a-soilder]

I've sleep on it here's my beef

If you wanna log in to participate in a event that fine, I get for some CC's purgatory 2 isn't lore (I mean it clearly is, but some players are choosing not to involve it in their lore.) But when you've made the discussion not to take part in the lore you can't ask about it on screen.

I literally got confused when someone told me bad had a reason and to check there lastest reblog, thinking the book gave them the reason and apologising, this fully left me thinking that the residents where told to return home until I was discussing with someone else and realized I fully misread that (I need to wear my glasses more TBh)

But this play apart of the problem because what I except was a lore reason and I went looking for it, just to find out later there is no lore reason bad just calls himself vactionbadboy halo when he wants to log in.

Look I get playing purgatory for fun, I get wanting to log in to see your friends, Tubbo did it, and Pac did it; but the difference with them being they made up a reason to be there (the boat didn't leave) is a completely valid reason.

I can see them going home and then later being drag back to the boat by the incompetent egg Island workers, but jumping back and forth to the island in the middle of purgatory is problematic.

If you don't want to take part in the lore then don't, don't ask questions about what's happening lore wise (on stream he can always inquire in dms ) , don't do things on the Island that messes with other people's lore or breaks the immersion make it easy for the actual people who care about the lore; Ie: fan fiction writers, artists, role players (I am all these things) to pretend you're not there!

This sounds dumb but I genuinely, when lore is happening take note of every little the to go "how can I explain this in lore, how could I enhance this in lore" to help with my fan art or fan works.

Genuinely I have a list of game mechanics,(chat, tabs list, death messages) and have written ways to explain them in lore, so you can imagine my annoyance when someone who isn't supposed to be involved ask questions fresh of a lore event.

I think the confusion to add to it is that Phil has been trying to do more improv on the spot right now rp; like leaving cuucurhoo the notice of the eye guy and keeping his webcam on until a big event ( and I love him for that, genuinely I love lore so much because it feeds art and fan fiction)

But I feel like im being taken a fool when someone who isn't technically supposed to be there asks questions about something they're not supposed to be awear of and even bounces of it like they're in lore "yeah it looks like we're going to war with you guys." we who? You're supposed to be Vacation halo, you aren't in purgatory right, if so how did you get home?!

Get what I'm saying? It sucks because everyone else so far seemed to-do A decent job of staying out of lore if they want to visit some committing to not coming back to the island at all (cough* bolas *cough ) .

If you don't wanna take part in the lore don't complicate the already existing lore, it annoynes me greatly.

I don't mind the attenting events so much, it's the fail rping of discussing something you shouldn't know not long after it happened. (Metagaming)

#qsmp #qpurgatory 2 #bbh neg #this is why you dont fail rp #like ok i get it its not canon for you #but it is for others #and like you need to respect that #if some players dont have the option to call upon certain people because they been kidnap despite stating they wish they could #i need you to play along and pertend you're not here dont ask about the lore #ignore the image at spawn #is that so much to ask #-50k rp points #you can disagree innthe comments but please dont do it when they intention of getting me to respond and see it your way #i get that you want people to see things your way but let people have opinions #you can state “i disagree cause” but please don't start getting accusatory towards me i domt h #i don't have the time for this #let people have opinions thanks #also if any other creator did this i would be upset #it's not a bbh specific thing its the action that upsets me #i know for a fact to im not the only one who found stuff confusion evem others are saying they cant tell what's canon anymore #like please i need players to work around not wanting to lore #be a good sport please #qsmp discourse

[oldmemoria]

hate the ultimate guide. heres a few reasons why.

reused art: I understand how hard it is to make art, especially at that calliber of detail. I'm an artist, I get it. but the charm of the original ultimate guide was that we had these hand painted, unique pieces of art of these characters, it showed a little personality too.

How stale and lifeless the art is: This is a complaint that I've had with the current western artist for years, the art is just... boring. the colors are pretty, yeah, like wow hyperrealistic cats. cool. but what else? can we see their personalities? what's the book gonna be like? the old covers had that charm, but not these ones. at all. (also is that even... i could not tell that was runningnose and littlecloud. i mean. runningnose has water in his snout, thats not what cat snot looks like but go off. he just looks a little soggy ig, not in a perpetual state of sick.)

Lack of Personality: this is a different complaint I promise. I dont like how the art seems to take away the personality of every character so theyre staring stoicly at the camera. some of these characters arent all that stoic. I never liked the firestar art in the last hope because I deadass thought it was mapleshade until someone told me it was firestar. firestar isnt this scary, stalky cat in the shadows. not to normal people at least. if i can mistake your main character as one of the villains in your cover art that isnt fucking good. I don't want to see these cats staring bug eyed at the camera, I want to be able to tell what they're like JUST from a glance at the art. Who is that- harestar?? why doesnt he look nervous?? he looks almost noble here, which is the opposite of who he's supposed to be, he's a wuss and a loser and i love him for it. like girl that is NOT mudclaw thats some random cat i saw at the shelter once, WHERES HIS ANGER? WHERES HIS FUCKING RAGE??? RISE RISE RISE RISE RISE RI

the Characters are hard to recognize, even with the title cards: Who are these cats. who. who the fuck are they. I can recognize a few cats, sure, but thats if I can pick out a defining trait. Squirrelflights tail, Scourges Collar, Ravenpaw's white chest, those are things that are explicitly told to us that these characters have, but everyone else??? WHO??? Like that was supposed to be leafstar?? HUH?? Wait that's supposed to be Oakheart? I cant even tell if hes red, its so YELLOW OUT I CANT FUCKING TEL WHO HE IS. Sagewhisker is described with yellow eyes, yet she has blue ones in the ultimate guide (i dont usually get pissy about eye color but not only are these cats supposed to be distinct from each other but i really like sagewhisker and i would die for her, yes i will gatekeep her from the artist fucking fight me), Bluestar is barely recognizable, i didnt know who half of these cats were before i read their nameplate. thats not a good thing.

Red mapleshade. Why she red. WHY SHE RED.

Leafpool. I didn't even know that was you at first but man they did you dirty.

sol. dude that is not sol no matter how much you stretch it- why is he a tabby?? hes supposed to be a tortie, why does he look like lionblaze?? and even then he doesnt look that lionlike, even though hollyleaf literally thought he was when she first saw him like what?? HUH???

mothwing. why she anger. also why she not fluffy

squirrelflight. i always hated her SE art but seeing the whole thing makes me angrier. like she isnt not accurate to canon or anything i just... hate it. i hate it withe very fibre of my being. ALSO WHERE IS HER PERSONALITY I WANT TO SEE HER BEING ENERGETIC NOT STARING 😐 AT THE CAMERA FUCKING HELL-

yeah, so im not gonna buy this book. i dont even want to know how they wrorte any of the female characters to make them somehow evil or how they somehow make a completely irridemable male character a sweet uwu baby. and everyone has talked about the ableism to death so im not going to beat this clearly still living horse, im just gonna let you find it yourself.

#warrior cats #warrior cats the ultimate guide #warrior cats ultimate edition #warriors #fuck this book

[blooming-violets]

Sorry this is gonna be a bit of a rant since it’s something I’ve had strong feelings about since joining the AG/TASM fanfic part of the internet, and you’ve provided me a great opportunity to talk about it.

As a trans person, I am BEGGING fanfic writers to stop writing Marauders stuff. I’ve seen so many people defend it with “separate art from the artist” but like it or not they are still supporting JKR. Separating art from the artist only really works when the artist can’t profit from it. She has done SO MUCH harm to trans people and particularly trans youth in the UK and it’s so fucking disheartening and gives me such an ick when I see TASM writers also write for Marauders because it truly comes across as “I love and support the trans community except when it comes to this because I like it.”.

Even if you ignore the transphobia and holocaust denial (YES IM SERIOUS, she’s denied parts of the holocaust at LEAST twice and she literally did it a second time the other day), the original writing is so fucking problematic. Things just off the top of my head being;

The goblins being stereotypes of Jewish people

The fucking racism with characters like Cho Chang and Kingsley Shacklebolt

The last Fantastic Beasts movie’s plot literally being trying to make WW2 and the holocaust happen

This point needs to be taken with a grain of salt since this was some bullshit Joanne said after the books came out, but werewolves in the universe being meant to represent people with aids. Which is so fucking awful considering one of the two werewolves was attacked by the other as a CHILD

The most ironic part of this is that if Andrew is truly the person he presents himself as, he would probably fucking despise being associated with HP, even if it is just a fancast. But yeah all this to say fuck JKR, fuck Marauders fans but also thank you so much Katie for that last anon answer because I genuinely don’t see that enough in this corner of the internet.

Even Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself, has spoken out against her and continues to loudly support the LGBTQ+ communities. When your own beloved Harry doesn't even want to stand by your side, you should know you fucked up. Sadly, she does not, and instead leans harder into her bigotry and hatred.

I've always been someone who is very loud and opinionated when I see things that I disagree with, which I know can rub some people the wrong way, but fuck it. I don't like to whisper about my issues on the sidelines, I like to confront the problem head on by being very clear about where I stand and how I feel. I'm not gonna sit around and let someone align me with JKR just because I'm writing a stupid werewolf and Peter Parker fic that exactly 5 people are reading lol. It's not even a popular fic like get out of my asks jfc. Esp when I can tell this person has not read a single sentence of my story and is completely basing their judgements on my header image of AG's face next to a wolf gif.

In this past week I have seen both a Steven Harrington werewolf au and a Daredevil werewolf au cross my dash. Do we think they're getting called out for supporting HP?? No. Because their actors weren't "fan casted" as something years ago. Fan casts don't even mean anything! There was never a movie about them. AG was never casted or played this role. It's literally nothing but a bunch of fans agreeing that they like his look for a fictional character.

Anyway, I'm also ranting back at you haha. You can rant to me anytime. I love a good rant and I agree with you 100%.

Werewolves were not created by JKR. Andrew Garfield has nothing to do with Harry Potter. Don't make make snap judgments about a person's character based on a picture you saw. Support your trans community. Don't be dick.

And, if they actually read my werewolf au, they would see that it's literally about learning to overcome your own hatred and biases of people different from you and learning to love those you were taught to hate. Crazy concept, I know! 🙄😉

#asks

[aroace-polyshow]

also a thing for you if you ever want to ramble about hw- what's emu's story for this? how did she get into illustration, and how did she meet the troupe?

RAUGH I ALWAYS WANT TO RAMBLE AND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TY FOR ASKING!!!! also took a while this time my bad man. the route my bus takes has very very shit internet so i couldn’t continue my draft during my ride 💔

anywayyy. good lord this is fucking long. im sorry.

for emu, i’m still figuring stuff out with her, but i’ve been thinking about her a lot more recently, and so far what i’ve got is that she has a little bundle of issues including grief over her grandpa, toxic positivity and not letting herself feel negative emotions properly, some internalized hatred of herself and how childish she is following an argument w shosuke, and generally feeling kinda lost, like the rest of hw, after wonder stage closed bc she doesn’t know what to do w/o shows. yknow.

so like. she still has her whole thing w/ her grandpa. and she while she wasn’t doing the *best* she wasn’t doing that bad in the mental health department. still wasn’t letting herself like. grieve properly. but she wasn’t the worst. she performed a lot on wonder stage and knew that the stage was in danger of being closed down, so she tried really hard to keep it from happening. but the actors for wonder stage began to leave as time went on and the ones who stayed didn’t really get why she was so persistent in keeping this stage open when the others in the park were better and shit. and she didn’t have much help. so unfortunately despite her best efforts wonder stage was kinda doomed for closure. butttt she’s not giving up yet. so she tries to convince her brothers to not close it, or at least to just give her some more time. which Does Not Go Well. shosuke gets real frustrated with her and starts yelling and shit. and while keisuke shuts him down once he gets too heated. well. it’s kinda too late. with what he said about her being childish and demanding that she just grow up already and stuff like that, my girl takes that to heart. and then with the official closure of wonder stage…yeah…she’s not doing the best…

emu’s grief here is made worse w/ the wonder stage closure. cause like. that was her and her grandpa’s favorite stage. girl feels like she failed him. she loved that stage. she loved doing shows there. it was something she had to remind her of her grandpa. and now it’s closed. :(

since then she’s been. different. like it’s just barely noticeable to a lot of people but she’s definitely changed. she smiles and acts cheery and seems like her usual self but like. her smile isn’t quite the same. she’s not quite as talkative. she avoids her brothers a lot more. and her brothers have noticed btw and they both feel AWFUL. especially shosuke. they done fucked up and they know it.

also like technically she could keep doing shows, after all theres the other stages in pheonix wonderland, and she has experience in doing shows + is related to the people who literally own the place so it wouldn’t be hard for her to join one of those stages. but she doesn’t bc after all that, she thinks her goal of just wanting to bring smiles to people is childish. shows make her so so happy but she thinks it’s immature and naive of her to still want to pursue that, especially considering she failed last time. it’s a silly and childish path to pursue, and she needs to pull her head out of the clouds and grow up already, like her brother says. so despite loving shows with all her heart, she gives up on doing them. but since shows are so important to her, she doesn’t rlly know what to do without them, so that’s where that feeling lost stuff comes in. yknow.

for her art, i just think she enjoyed art in general, and with her grief and the wonder stage closure it helped her cope. i have a very specific idea in my head of her style. but i cant remember the artist here on tumblr that i think she does art like. if i can remember their name i will though. i might actually do a post dedicated to what i think her art style is like….

not set in stone just yet, but what i’m thinking for the original meet up is that she meets nene first. nene does music and emu finds it, and it gives her some inspiration for some art. she posts it and credits nene’s music as what inspired her, and nene is so fucking honored. through some light encouragement from rui nene gets the courage to dm emu to tell her thank you, and they start chatting!! they get along pretty well and emu starts making art for nene’s music. eventually rui has the idea to start animating them, so they can make music videos for the songs, and boom hw gets its beginnings online.

this happens before wonder stage closure btw. when it does close, emu disappears from their group chat for a bit. she comes back like nothing happens and while she doesn’t tell them what happened, they both notice she doesn’t talk about what shows shes doing anymore, or shows in general. nene and rui are both very sad at this btw. seeing emu have so much love for shows and be able to talk about them like she did was really nice, so to see her stop with that and seemingly not enjoying shows anymore after something happened, just like they did, it sucks. :(

anyway i think my timeline is like. during nene’s last year of middle school when she transfers to home schooling, she starts doing music -> everything i just mentioned here happens -> eventually they meet tsukasa, and he joins the group -> hollow ☆ wonderland does its thing as a group for a while -> main story shit happens. yeah. 👍

uhhhh. dear god i’m so bad at explaining my thoughst. augh. i hope this made some amount of sense. and that i wasn’t too repetitive lsajdkhfgyfdhsj. anyway miscellaneous emu thingies now.

like i mentioned, wonder stage hasn’t been replaced yet, it’s just closed down and sectioned off. so emu still visits it all the time. there is nothing being done to maintain it. so it is absolutely unsafe. but does emu care. no. girlie wants to disappear and while she’s not *planning* on dying, if she had to die anywhere she wouldn’t mind if it was at wonder stage. she draws there a lot.

a lot of her drawings are traditional!! with lots of bright colors and crayons and colored pencils. she has lots of fun drawing.

this applies to non-au emu as well but she has gifted stickers to all her friends. nene’s synthesizer is covered in them.

wonder stage was closed off at sunset. btw. just to give her another reason to hate sunsets.

#asks #hollow ☆ wonderland #i dont have as many miscellaneous things for her unfortunately. i am thinking stuff up though #jesus fucking christ this is long #oh my god #im unwell about them all if you couldn’t tell. dear lord.

[loversj0y]

ITS ME ITS ME IM GLONK

I HAVE ANOTHER SIREN IDEA

So: i was learning about art forgery earlier this year, and my professor was mentioning how because of the elitism in the art world, some artists are forced to turn to forgery because no one will pay large amounts of money for art that doesn't have a famous name/history attached to it. SO they'll copy other people's artstyles and say they found this "Leonardo Da Vinci" work in some abandoned attic somewhere and sell it (now obviously because DaVinvi is so famous, it would be pretty hard to sell that lie, but you know what I mean. maybe a buttersworth painting. idk).

...And you can launder money with art forgeries: somebody could buy a forgery with money achieved through nefarious means (dirty money), then resell it for the same (or a higher) price. Now they have the same amount/more money, but it was achieved through legitimate means so its harder to track down/make a case against it in court.

Anyway: The Syndicate catches some broke ass college student on their territory, but they are a damn quick thinker and say that they have connections in crime to spare themselves. The student tells them that they have contact with this guy Anonymous, who provides art forgeries that the Syndicate can then sell and keep their money trail clean (especially useful, when in their civilian disguise. all that money is suspicious...). What the student ISN'T telling them is that they aren't just the middleman for Anonymous' works, they ARE Anonymous (because, if the Syndicate got sick of them and knew that there was only just one person involved in the business, they could just kill that one person. But if they think there's multiple, they'd have to keep the student alive to get to Anonymous).

Maybe Siren finds out that its the student who is doing the paintings, and they bond over their artistic interests; him being a musician, them being a painter.

Or, ALTERNATE SCENARIO: There IS a mafia that the Syndicate is dealing with, and the mafia agrees to set them up with one of their greatest contributors. Obviously Siren is sent to talk with this mysterious associate-- since he's very persuasive-- and instead of finding some shady, powerful crimelord, he finds a worn out, paint-splattered college student wearing J O R T S in a shitty apartment. they don't even react when they see him they're just used to it at this point.

i might un-anonymize myself soon idk

GLONK YOUR BRAIN IS HUGE OH MY GOD

firstly, always feel free to spam my inbox with ideas, they make me happy to see and i love coming home or having a minute to read through them and reading it like the daily paper, it’s my favorite part of the day

secondly!!!!! AHHHH okay the whole thing abt hiding the fact that this broke college student is actually like an amazing art dealer and like potentially dangerous is so juicy. like

student: “yeah, Anonymous is crazy. they once stabbed someone and used their blood to sign a painting because it was the only color they could get to match a specific red tone that Van Gogh used” knowing damn well it was actually their own blood because they cut their finger opening up a box of new paints, causing the red to splatter on the floor

siren: “wow… this Anonymous person must be dangerous. how are you so calm around them? not to sound rude… but you dont strike me as the fighting type”

student: *think fast think fast, i cant let them know i make most of the forgeries or that i am Anonymous* “we’re lovers”

siren: “what.”

i feel like techno would be the first one to figure it out, and wilbur would be dead last. techno knew the minute he met you but just kept quiet about it, phil realized when he monitored your activity for a day and noticed how you’d be mimicking famous artists, tommy realized because student told him, and wilbur didn’t believe it for a second until he literally showed up to a meeting Anonymous had set up, watched as they tried to kidnap them, resulting in their mask being knocked off and siren was like OH FUCKIN SHIT OH NO

but i also love the second alternate part bc siren’s heard all these stories about anonymous’s ability to replicate artists exactly and how skilled they are, and then student opens the door and is just like “okay. siren is here. totally normal.”

siren’s like “i need you to do something for me”

student just scoffs “yeah? you’re going to have to wait, i have to finish a painting for my niece. she asked me to paint her favorite barbie doll” fully serious and siren is just like ??????? and considers using his voice but is just curious and wants to watch you work so just sits back and watches.

also LOVE the concept of the anteater paintings. wilbur is just staring around in anger and annoyance and student is just there, grinning evilly and watching bc they know he wont say anything about it so it’s funny.

#mar talks #glonk :3 #glonk you know an awful lot about art theft….. #also im on vacation for another few days so while i cant respond much #PLEASE spam my inbox #i love reading all this #siren wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader

[astraystayyh]

Eek more questions hehe I really like this new set

Really curious for #1, #7, #8, #10, #13, #21, #24, #28, #34, and #35!!

These were really good questions hehe

-💫

What inspired you to start writing fanfiction?

it was i think my 3rd month of being a stay? and I really loved reading ff on here even tho I had no idea how this app worked LMAO I've already told her but @rachalixie's hurt/comfort drabbles were my fav thing to read, she was one the first ppl I followed on here, and so, tmi, I was feeling so anxious and I wrote a channie helping u through an anxiety attack drabble (that I never posted AJSNJSB) and I was like hold on! this is fun! i can write what I want??? and post it for people to read...... like I was already writing some poems for a couple of years now but they were just for me yk, so i got super ambitious and i posted a long ass OT8 saying ily for the first time as my first fic akssjnjb i was so nervous like actually shaking and refreshing the notif bar every two seconds, i still rem the very first two comments i got, i think that's when it hit me that people actually READ stuff I wrote.

short answer, i've always loved writing and then stayblr -mainly anny inspired me to start writing too hehe

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

wahhhh probably coming up with lines i'm proud of?? i also loveee weaving parallels into my fics and for everything to come full circle, I love the symbolic aspects of fic writing in a way, thinking of mundane things and giving them an important significance for the characters!!! someone commented underneath Orange that they cannot believe they're crying over oranges and that rlly made me giggle!! that's the point HEHEH

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you?

for me it's descriptions ;;;; especially when it comes to sceneries or clothes or omg PLACES like decor and all,, I can't envision these things in my mind so I always worry I'm not describing them well in my fics,,, also the little transition scenes where nothing MAJOR happens but that are still pivotal to the right flow of the story ;;; yeah these mess with my head the most

21. Have you ever used fanfiction as a way to explore your own emotions or personal experiences?

hiii heyyy ofc i did ZJKNJD i think a lot of authors will relate but art cannot be completely separate from the artist, every work u read of mine has a little (or big) piece of me in it, that's why it's so vulnerable for writers to share their works on this scary place because u are perceived and judged for them and u hope that someone will find solace in ur struggles or relate to ur worries,,, and this is really helping me mend back my rp with love!!!

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?

JUST DO IT!!!! seriously go for it, you'll 100% cringe at ur earlier works later on but u will also improve and learn and discover things about urself that u would've never known otherwise!!! be self-indulgent and write things for urself and there will be always someone who will appreciate them

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

im trying to think of smtg i never mentioned before mmmm.... oh I think that trying to include bits and quirks of the member u are writing about is always so fun and makes the story more enjoyable for the reader!! ofc we don't know what these idols are like irl BUT there are some aspects of their personalities that we know of (like their interests or small habits) and it's always fun to incorporate into ur story, also helps with the characterization hehe

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

THE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!! nothing beats the feedback for me it's literally what makes the entire thinking, writing and editing process worth it!! the feedback is what keeps me going and fuels my motivation, it is so so important for writers I can't stress this enough,,, I'm so so grateful and lucky to have such sweet readers who leave me the most THOUGHTFUL feedback, like with just one rb u could erase SEAS OF DOUBTS in the writer's mind. i always say this but the only way for me to know if my fic is good is by reading u guys' opinions,,, so yeah the feedback is my fuel ;;;;

7. How do you handle writer's block or moments of creative stagnation? 8. Do you have any rituals or habits that help you get into the zone? 28. What's the most ambitious or challenging fic you've ever written

i answered these here and here <33

#THIS WAS SOOO FUN #THANK U BABY FOR SENDING THESE IN #i hope this isn't too long i had to ramble AJKSNJZD #sahar's.asks <3 #💫 anon

[sedittedice]

Tw: vent

So back in like October I got in some drama in a server I'm in (I'm not gonna say what server I'm just gonna say it was the server of an artist I use to really look up to)

But yeah I was friends with one of the mods/server owners friends let's call them Tiffany

So me and Tiffany agreed to ship our wh ocs (let's call the ship MM)

Ok real quick ill just go ahead and make a name list thing:

Server owner: Britney

Owners friend that I became friends with: Tiffany

Ship me and Tiffany made: MM

My friend: Amanda

The server: the Britney server

Other person that shipped their oc with Tiffany's: Megan

Ok so now that that's all cleared up

Let's continue

So it originally started when I made a small vent drawing in the server vent chat

(I covered up the pfps for privacy sakes and for my sake)

But basically it's a vent of my holding my pfp at the time and my face being static with the discord pfps of artists I wished to draw like

I had forgotten to put that this vent wasn't me trying to attack anyone and according to Britney this had made people upset

They never told me who got upset so I couldn't personally apologize to those people

But me and Britney sorted it out and I told them to apologize to the people I had upset since Britney never told me who got upset

They said ok

After a bit , I slowly noticed that Tiffany never drew any MM stuff (which I didn't really mind)

But then I noticed she drew a bunch of ship art of Megan's oc with hers

So I nicely tried to ask/suggest ideas for MM art

As you can see I made it clear that they didn't need to if they didn't want to

But she never replied so I just dropped it

And I slowly started getting more depressed cause Tiffany seemed to be ignoring me and the rest of the Britney server

So I asked my friend Amanda if she could help

So she tried to subtly bring up MM

But as you can see

She got ignored aswell

As I slowly got more and more depressed a few other small problems happened (my writing on a magma was removed and a few people moved their drawings a little for me to fit something)

And just when I thought I couldn't be depressed enough

I got a dm during school from Britney saying they kicked me from the server due to my behavior and stuff

Calling me immature, etc

And since we were no longer in the same server, I couldn't dm back an apology, so I asked my friend Amanda to help me

I then made a vent on here, but they forced me to delete it

They also were taking their friends side saying I was trying to force people and guilt trip people into making MM ship art WHEN I CLEARLY DIDN'T

And THEY NEVER LET THE PEOPLE I APPARENTLY HURT THAT I APOLOGIZE AND SO EVERYONE IN THAT SERVER PROBABLY THINKS IM A FUCKING ASS HOLE

And apparently I was making Tiffany uncomfortable with the MM ship??

WHEN LITERALLY THEY NEVER TOLD ME THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE AND EVEN WENT ALONG WITH SOME OF MY SHIP IDEAS

AND NOW IM TOO AFRAID TO SPEAK IN ANY SERVER IM IN CAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED

MIND YOU BRITNEY IS AN ADULT HERE AND I WAS 15 AT THE TIME NOW 16

I GOT BULLIED INTO HAVING EVEN WORSE SOCIAL ANXIETY AND NO ONE KNOWS NOR CARES EXCEPT FOR MY FRIEND AMANDA

ALL BECAUSE AN ADULT CHOSE TO SIDE WITH THEIR FRIEND AND NOT FUCKING CARE ABOUT WTF I HAD TO SAY

AND ISTG BRITNEY IF YOU SEE THIS AND TRY AND MAKE ME TAKE THIS DOWN I AM GOING TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT REGRET MAKING ME DO

I HATE THIS SO MUCH

IMAGINE GETTING BULLIED BY AN ADULT

THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IVE BEEN BULLIED BY A GROWN ASS PERSON

I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT

I AM TIRED OF THIS I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY BUT I FUCKING CANT

#womp womp #dice rants #dice vents #i wanna cry so bad

[synonymroll648]

hehe so you ar my number one fic supporter and i GUESS im asking if you have any keefitz prompts for me :)

i cannot something right away but :))

ASRFGDEGTFGJHGJUKHYJHFDF WHEN I READ THIS MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED AND STARTED STIMMING BECAUSE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

okokok. so. i'll give you multiple so you can pick and choose as you like!

that au you had where fitz was a model and keefe was his favorite makeup artist and they were besties w/ seemingly unrequited love? please feel free to expand on this au AT ALL. how they met and became friends or the aftermath of the og fic or keefe's pov on the og fic or something else or both - i would devour any and all of it, that au is gold. in my heart

keefitz + pancake art. interpret as you like <3

human au or canon divergent fic where elwin's an aquatic therapist and adopted keefe and keefe's going into the same field as him, and fitz is going into aquatic therapy for his knee, and keefe's the guy he sees and they realize they (still? up to you) have chemistry and resolve to hang out outside of the water

pre-canon sleepover in which keefe finds out firsthand that fitz is the lord of the snuggles

being fruity at the level 3 midterm party (since shannon posted an excerpt from neverseen once that had keefe saying what happens at the level 3 midterm party stays at the level 3 midterm party and i have taken that run w/ it since and i think you would have fun w/ it too)

backstory behind how keefe ended up wearing fitz's bramble jersey(s) (can't remember if it was multiple times or once, but it's confirmed to be pre-canon)

keefe teaching fitz how to draw and getting increasingly distracted

fitz teaching keefe how to bake and getting increasingly distracted

take literally anything and everything from hits different by taylor swift (since i know you're also a swiftie) and fucking run (personally, off the top of my head, i feel like the part of the chorus that says catastrophic blues / moving on was always easy for me to do / but it hits different / it hits different 'cause it's you is the most Them but. you do you!!)

fitz and keefe navigating their canon and implied (implied, to me, meaning keefe's neurodivergency because that boy is one of us in my heart) disabilities together, mayhaps

ok so y'know the destiel i love you meme? yeah so. make keefitz news reporters that went viral as a meme because one of them went 'i love you' on air and the other just responded w/ the headlines for the day (avery would know who is who, i can't remember - i think it's keefe saying i love you and fitz responding w/ the news, but i could be wrong)

fitz telling keefe a bajillion stories about the search since it's over and keefe wanted to know

so y'know how fitz gave sophie fancy presents as a method of flirting? yeah so do that but fitz giving keefe the WEIRDEST shit when they were kids that he loves and by extension thinks keefe will love too. like some fucking umbrella off the street of louisiana, for example. dumb things like that that he REFUSES to explain where he got them from. bonus if he gives inaccurate explanations for their uses

keefe trying to teach fitz how to flirt but fitz can't flirt for SHIT but alsooooooo it's kinda working for keefe

"dammit, i'm not immune to fitz vacker" (or, alternatively: "i guess the wonderboy charm works on guys too")

au where keefe got to go on the search w/ fitz (can be as angsty or fluffy as you'd like)

ok so i could brainstorm more but also i want to finish my qpr keefex fic before i leave for a weeklong trip (leave time is supposedly in 2hrs and i haven't gotten ready for the day) so i'm gonna stop there. hopefully some of these prompts click w/ you!

#ask #cowboypossume #kotlc fic ideas #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefitz #keefe sencen #fitz vacker #keefitz headcanons #because like. that's what a lot of this is #forcing myself to maintag because if this is getting tagged as fic ideas i must tag everything else too #anyway. have a good day carl :))

[commiicc]

Hi. I'd like to talk a little about my time on social media as an artist. I'm sure a lot of this has been said by a ton of artists before me, but I'm going to say it again anyways.

My online handle is @ commiicc. I've gone by the alias Comic for a few years now. I was extremely active of Twitter during the height of the DreamSMP fandom. My time in this community brought me many memories and experience. Both good and bad. Today, I just want to focus on the art.

In my opinion and experience the art community of the DSMP fandom was so incredibly toxic. Artists were the backbone of the community. It was said time and time again. But this held many artists to unfair expectations. The turn around on art was insane. If art was not posted directly after or the day after the stream/ event it would flop. Posts would circulate about the perfect posting times, which I would memorize, then be so sad when I'd post at those times and a price would still fail. I'd blame myself. I'd internalize it and think I just wasn't good enough. It was never my art. It was simply the shit algorithm that is any social media, but that didn't stop me of course.

And I watched so many young artists beg for followers, because validation meant everything. And we all wanted to be mutuals with the popular, big twitters because that meant we'd made it... right?

I watched followers drop and people ask if they'd done something wrong to deserve it because canceling was so common. It was usually just bots being deleted, but "what if I did something wrong" was always everyone's go to.

Going back to artists being the backbone of the community and pumping out content. I used to say how thankful I was for the community because it made me grow and find my style. But in reality, I only found my style once I stepped back and took time on a piece. I was just slapping shit together back then. I hated most of what I made during that time. It was all rushed. Because no one gave me time. I always felt so rushed to post something so it gets attention. Post something so my followers don't think Im leaving. Because if you took too long to post (more than a week) you'd start losing people. I was a small artist and craved that attention... So I forced myself to create, even if I had no ideas. It's pushed me into burn out.

I'd compare myself to other artists who somehow created masterpieces in like two hours when it took me ages to do anything. I compared myself to everyone and hated everything I did. It was incredibly unhealthy.

I've only just now started making things I enjoy again.

Even when I switched fandoms I was still in the mindset of pushing out art, so I hate it all.

Only after burning myself out can I now restart and find my style... Can I now actually create again.

And I know that's just the culture of social media. and people used to tell me "just don't care" "just don't look at the views". do you know how hard it is to be a 16, 17, even 18 years old and NOT look at that??? to be a new artist and NOT care how much attention your art gets??? when a content creator that you love can see your fanart and has actually seen it.. all humans want is validation. Social media prys on that toxic need. On that innate human need. Cause yeah, we all want to know that what we're doing looks good, but holy shit was that place bad.

And I KNOW I'm not the first person to say this. I'm just trying to share my experience and I'm putting all this disclaimer here in case... So please just check yourself and remember we're all human. Social media is kinda awful and this is literally just my blog to share long thoughts and archive who I am. My time on social media fucked me up a little and I'm just now realizing it. That's what all this is.

So yeah all this to say, I'm done posting my art on social media for now. I'm done pumping out art just for the sake of it. When I create something worth sharing, I'll post it. But for now, I'll be in my comfortable void. I'm around and always willing to chat about the art making process or just chat in general. I'm creating. I always have been. I'm just not sharing it. It's not for your eyes.

It will be when im ready.

And new artists, young artists, any artists; your worth is not determined by the views or likes a post gets. Your art is worth more than any amount of attention it gets on social media. Don't create for attention. Create because you enjoy it. Create for yourself. That's where the magic happens.

thanks for reading. sorry this is long. I'm very wordy. thanks for being here.

- Comic

#dsmp #dsmp fandom #<- for reach #art community

[wifiwuxians]

sorry for the late reply! im the songxue anon! just saw your responses a few minutes ago and my gosh, you're really very sweet ;; im sorry to have caused so much of a fuss but thank you for being so compassionate and kind ;; (also i adore that crying xue yang omigosh what are you talking abt how can you think thats not amazing its perfect i love it). also the tags? on your first reply??? people are mean to song lan????? WHO IS MEAN TO SONG LAN??? WHY??? HOW????! i'll be honest, i tend to avoid getting involved with fandom discourse At All Costs bc i dont need that kind of stress in my life, so mainly i just look at fanart and fics i like and stay in my lane so i had no idea there were people who hate on song lan???? like??????????? how????????????????? okay, i love xue yang, he's my baby, but i TOTALLY understand people hating him. he has no rights and he deserved everything bad that happened to him and so much more. i just happen to adore him and wanna spoil my stupid lil meowmeow. like it makes SENSE to be mad at xue yang but like.................................. how can anyone hate song lan?!?! HE DID NOTHING WRONG?????? LITERALLY HE JUST GOT HURT, OVER AND OVER, FOR NO REASON????? im sorry for going on such a tangent over a very short tag you added but im a lil flabbergasted that anyone could hate on Best Boy. also while im going on tangents about tags, your 500 aus are part of what i adore about your art oki. like you have such a wonderful and vivid imagination and the way that you give life to the ideas with your art is breath-taking. even if its a concept i dont think i would enjoy just hearing the idea, when i see your execution i am 100% on board because my gosh you have such a beautiful way of bringing life to things.

and you don't need to apologize for anything btw! it's totally oki to assert boundaries and i really dont speak for anyone other than myself. i just saw a few "dont tag as ship" things and i was like "ahh... oki they prolly wouldnt like me" cuz im an anxious bean and i also dont wanna reveal myself as a gross loser who likes weird ships to one of my fav artists, ya know? so you were 100% just doing the good selfcare thing (which much approval, we stan) and i just got the wrong idea cuz im a nervous weirdo. as for revealing myself i feel a bit embarrassed to do so now after being such a weirdo at you oaeurhgiauehrg but one way or another, your are IS getting reblogged, especially now that i have permission to look at some pieces disrespectfully oiaerhjgohre (not SUPER disrespectfully, just maybe a lil bit of 'they're in love your honor' oki) (a silly random thing but im a bit happy to know you dont hate songxue oijghiouehrg its silly but knowing my favorite 'songxue artist' (not-really-songxue-but-i-totally-see-it) doesnt hate my otp is kinda nice 😊 i thought the irony of it was a bit funny before but i also felt guilty for seeing stuff that your didnt really intend with your art and yeah eoirjgioejrg basically my initial asks were all that struggle so its just kinda nice. its not a very popular ship so its cool when its not disliked, even if its not actively enjoyed. idk if im making sense LOL sorry) ohergiuearhg sorry i feel like i went on a bunch of tangents instead of responding to you properly and i think maybe i have a problem of Talking Too Much so i swear i will really try to keep this one short. i love your art, youre completely valid and wonderful, im doing okay and im really happy you responded to me so kindly despite my strangeness, i think you're neat and you deserve a ton of people showering you with praise cuz damn, you make things great. and i'd like to take a moment to express how you can really influence people with your art: i never even considered wen chao x xue yang before your art and now i think they're a really funny couple, and thats completely bc of how lovely your creations are. please believe in your ability to make people love the things that you love through your beautiful art. be proud of how incredible you are. you make everything a lil brighter just by existing but the fact that you exist and choose to share your beautiful art (and fics, ive read some of them and i Love your writing, its incredible) you make the world a whole lot brighter cuz damn, now i get to look at this stuff and just smile and feel warm inside. so thank you for making my life a lil happier and please be confident in yourself!

okay sorry to put em all together but also i felt it was best so let's begin,

^me

1- you've caused no fuss at all so don't worry about that!! i just wanted to make sure it wasn't a ships in the night situation LOL i wanted to make sure you got my response! :) (I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY THE MEME LOL) as for song lan meanness, that's what i'm saying THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING and YET! this is why i stay out of the tags all the time. there's just too much shit out there in the world and sometimes i fail at just gritting my teeth and letting people say their thang, and it gets me in trouble... but maaaaaaan i really need to say it's a shame you wanna stay anonymous because i think we'd get on like a house on fire! you've summed up exactly how i feel about both of them + how i wish others reacted to them haha (but no pressure to reveal yourself! just know i think we'd get along)

and as for 500 AUs... i'm so glad 😭 i am an AU machine, i have so many i can't keep track and they bring me so much joy, but i admittedly feel sort of alone in making them haha SO THIS MEANS A LOT!! especially you complimenting my execution like i think i may just melt into a puddle and pass away jfghsjh thank you,, so much

2- but seriously, don't worry about the tag thing, it is 100% a boundary thing and the only time i think i'd dislike someone for it is if they saw i said not to tag it as something in the body of the post and did it anyway! 'cause that's just rude (and then i feel despair bc what else can i do to get people NOT to tag LMAO) it's for my own comfort, i'm not trying to dictate what people can or can't ship or feel, it's just i'd rather not hear about it :p especially when it's not what i drew! but also i'm a favorite artist? 😳

you haven't been a weirdo at all! no pressure to go mask off but please don't let anything be because you think i think you're a weirdo or a loser, ok? it's not true! hooray reblogs my NUTRIENCE.. THANK YOU! (but haha this isn't a 'theyre in love' type of piece but the one i personally look at most disrespectfully is when i drew sl straight up eating xy's flesh off his ribs... i know cannibalism isn't for everyone though and neither is gory imagery! just... sharing... oversharing...)

for the aside: no problem! i will say for transparency purposes that my relationship with it IS complicated and that i personally would need it to fit a very uncommon mold (that i do not often see) for me to be like 👍 which is why i tend to stick to my own stuff + what a chosen few friends make when it comes to them in general, but my god you're a rare breed! i've never met anyone who had it as their otp!! you're braver than any US marine because it's such a rarepair it didn't make it into the like top 11 mdzs ships on ao3 or whatever...

3- i love talking though! i really appreciate your messages and i hope this response wasn't a complete jumbled mess ahhh...

thank you so so much for all the lovely praise and encouragement, getting these messages actually helped me break out of my funk a little and do some chores, so know your words do have an impact too! 💕 i need to remember more often that as long as even one person smiles at my work, it will have been worth it. i promise i'm trying ;; sometimes i get caught up in the numbers still and i'm very ashamed of that, but damn, you took time out of your day to let me know that you love and appreciate what i do, and that's honestly made me tear up a little, so THANK YOU AGAIN !! i'm sorry i'm failing at expressing myself and my gratitude properly kgjdklhjkgh (also, thank you for the xuechao support, like THAT's what i call a RAREPAIR! (canned laughter) i really try to spread the joy with those two)

i'm really floundering on how to say thank you well enough so... maybe i can show you some birthday art i made for a friend who also loves xy and sl and xy/chao (which of course now im being nitpicky about but the friend loved it so idc LOL)

#long post #INCREDIBLY long post #shin dont look #i could tell you my top 3 song lan bad takes that make me wanna maul but #then i would probably really get in trubs. what am i saying ive driven the people who said em away LONG ago lmao #also also: re: ship stuff from what youve said i think you would handle them well!!!!!!! #you like my art AND my fics i could melt rn #xy&sl

[girlfictions]

hari need to know your thoughts on the succession finale once you finish it 🙏

i’ve genuinely been in a state of shock since i finished the ep so i’m probably going to ramble terribly bc my brain will explode otherwise.... thoughts under the cut!!! and massive spoiler warning obviously 💪

OKAAYYY in no particular order:

greg getting whacked was beautiful i wish he'd been stomped into a pulp honestly sorry for not being able to separate the art from the artist but nicholas braun is a weasel and i hope he gets hit by a car

that being said tom and greg's interactions this ep were top tier i'm not a tomgreg enthusiast like That but i think every scene of theirs was hilarious as it was twisted

tom this whole episode... phenomenal. matthew is just a cut above in terms of acting he embodied tom's hunger and desperation and patheticisms so perfectly i really felt more and more unsettled by him every appearance

i do wish we had more stewy screentime but i also wish that for every single episode arian moayed is so freaking talented and charismatic and amazing and he ate up every second he was on screen

speaking of stewy. "you kiss guys on molly" <- BITCH.....? i actually don't know if i've mentioned this on tumblr but i'm a kenstewinator for life and frankly this was confirmation that they explored each other's bodies at college idgaf what anyone has to say about it

ohhhh my god the fucking "meal fit for a king" scene. i can't even find the words for it. seeing them all so happy and having so much fun with each other in that moment was just so heartbreaking bc i KNEW it wasn't going to last 😭 like my mum and i literally checked how much time was left in the episode after that scene and looked at each other like Wellll something terrible is going to happen isn't it.

kendall My beautiful baby boy kendall IM SORRY I WASNT YOUR MOTHERRRRRRRR . i could honestly write an essay about kendall in this episode alone i have never seen such a tragic crumbling of the self maybe ever. him sitting at logan's desk thinking he's finally won... his reaction to shiv betraying their deal... him attacking roman like i was seriously breathless my god that entire sequence was fucking crazy

and to be quite honest if i was kendall in that situation well i would have killed myself in that damn board room and changed the trajectory of all those old hags lives forever . like "i'm a cog built for one machine" And now he has nothing no father no siblings no wife no kids no company my fucking goddddddd 🤦‍♀️

i started chanting "please please please dont kill yourself" out loud in the final scene and i'm dead serious the kendall water motif HAUNTS ME and i was so freaking scared . but that final frame is honestly equally awful like kendall alone with colin in the background him basically becoming logan with none of the power this is seriously the worst possible ending for him.....

shiv doomed to repeat the pattern of being under a man's thumb is genuinely so deeply demented jesse armstrong sleep with one eye open. and i hate it so much because it makes so much SENSE like yeah she's lady macbeth she's caroline she's the wife she's the mother and she will never be anything else okay OKAYY.

like that scene w her and tom in the car where he waits for her to hold his hand was so fucking spine chilling also the ambiguity of us not knowing whether tom knows that shiv was the deciding vote in his favour is crazy <- i do think it makes sense that he would know but just shiv having that as a bargaining chip so they can sting each other over and over again like its all about the cycles i fear

roman being so resigned to it all by the end was sick like ok that comment about kendall's kids was evil but i still felt for him howeverr i do think out of the trio he will be objectively the most okay in the future... like he's free from it all in a way shiv obviously isn't and kendall literally can't be

honestly i'm struggling to articulate anything more i'm still so overwhelmed by how it came to a close.. never have i watched a show that left me so heartbroken and hollow but also absolutely satisfied narratively like succession is going down in the history books FR 😭

also they're def going to sweep the emmys and it will be so deserved i seriously think they need to invent a new rule to allow for a tie because i cannot imagine how they're going to decide between kieran and jeremy for best lead... <- i do lean a little towards jeremy bc i'm a biased kendall girl but kieran's performance esp in the first half of this season was just jawdropping so who knows

this got really long i'm so sorry but i feel like a crazed woman what a fucking show what a fucking ending i will never be the same after this SUCCESSION YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SO FAMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!

#succession #succession spoilers

[againwthevampirebllsht]

january 2nd 2024

welcome! to my first tumblr post since 2016! its been a hot min...

a little bit about me !

got the sudden urge to start an online diary, i missed being able to just rant and post something without worrying about wtf ppl i know think (the feminine urge to have an anonymous online presence) and also wanted to be able to just rant and talk myself though things and look back on stuff later (aka just a diary but i can type way faster than i can handwrite bullshit out)

(currently) 20 and in my second year of university, going for a bfa in painting and a double major in history (i love every second but god its killing me)

im rlly into punk/emo/alt/rock music, will def be posting recs that nobody will ever look at but itll make me feel better to scream into the void about it

also! rlly into fantasy novels (not in an acotar way but in a blood and war and politics way)(tho dont get me wrong i LOVE a good fantasy romance but it must be done right)

i absolutely love art! trying to get more comfortable with the idea of calling myself an artist (duh bitch ur literally an art major ofc ur an artist) (the art school imposter syndrome is so real) its hard to feel like ive crossed the line from a kid trying to imitate and act like shes an artist into someone who actually is an artist and does that shit seriously (but thats a whole can of worms for a new post entirely)

(i guess i also fucking love to over use parenthesis too?)(you learn something new about yourself everyday)

most of my art is centered around themes of nostalgia and the passage of time and other bittersweet feelings like that (when does normalcy become nostalgia?) (<- as a guiding question for my work) sometimes its about things as simple as physical changes, preference changes, or evolution (in abstract terms) or other times the ideas get more complex but im horrible at explaining it in actual words instead of trying to communicate it just through the painting itself and feelings (need to get better at that)

and yeah! thats about all I can think about rn..

#personal #diary blog #online diary #diary #journal #introduction post #intro #introduction #about me