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#like yeah i just am tired of repeating myself
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Ok college review now that I’m almost a month in. I’ve gained nothing from this experience but a janky apartment that I love
#no literally like. I’m not a people person. so that aspect of college doesn’t appeal to me#and also I’m in 4 classes. my library science one I was excited for is entirely geared towards being a school librarian and teaching#so I’m out here making lesson plans. which I have negative interest in being a teacher#my business class is structured in a way that makes lectures useless but I’m required to go#my theatre class. we haven’t really started anything so my opinion is neutral but tainted by last years experience. 2.5 out of 10#my programming class is fun though. I’ll be the one programming sketchy apps now#i do really love my apartment#but yeah. i don’t often leave it. and god people love to knock at my door and windows#i don’t like. wanna shut myself in and not speak to anyone ever. but I’m not saying I’d hate that either#bc ok. last year I talked to two people. one of which didn’t come back this year and the other one who chronically cancels plans#but also just in general. confuses me?? like bestie will do something and I’m just like. why#oh but there’s 2 guys who live above me I know. one of which was the one banging on my window at 1am wasted#the other guy is nice but also talking to him tends to tire me out bc he’s the type of person who has to be right#not in like an argumentative way. moreso the type to repeat himself and rephrase things until ur like fine fine ok#also a tiny bit of a show off/one upper type#but I do have my friend who lives a good 45 mins away we see each other often and it’s fun#so yeah that’s my academic stuff and my social circle summary!#also. my ex best friend? lived 45 mins away. same city. saw her like 2-3 times the whole year. she could have done so much better#but yeah. i don’t do much in college and am 97% certain I’m taking a gap year to go hang out at my summer job#soup talks
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causticsunshine · 11 months
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hi!!! i was wondering, when are u going to update your momrry fic?? tsm!!
hi anon!
i’m assuming you haven’t seen the updates i’ve been giving, but: every fic wip i have currently standing will be finished, but due to extenuating circumstances ie having a lot on my plate in several different areas, i cannot give an exact time frame!
very happy to hear you’re enjoying! it’s the first thing on my docket to finish right now, but the second chapter should be done soon 🩷
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maldito-arbol · 2 years
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It’s time for Mal to Talk in the tags again because I’m too tired to do homework or write so I’m gonna use my energy for this
#ranting online is kinda therapeutic since I can’t get therapy? ok so I just wanted to mention this and ramble#i about cried talking to my himbo friend over the phone the other day because he told me. the day I read that chapter (well. 1/4 of it)#to my discord server in the vc he came in and checked on me a few times and he said he hasn’t seen me look that happy in so long and it#hurts because I had to end that event early because I couldn’t breathe but I had so much fun talking to ppl and doing the reading bc I get#✨dramatic✨ and shit and yknow overall it was just such a great experience except for the not breathing part (the gods are punishing me for#the Bye Bye Air Collar from WJH) and anyway it just reminded me all over again how Unhappy I am constantly. i have spent my entire life#being treated like complete dirt by family and friends and bosses and coworkers and classmates and everyone under the sun so the second i#feel appreciated by Anyone I break into tears it’s So Bad. so like I enjoy going to work because even tho it’s so tiring and it’s so hard#dealing with customers sometimes I love it anyway because like. i feel appreciated there. by my boss and a handful of coworkers at least.#and that’s so much better than being in this house and feeling like I’m the devil’s spawn all over again sent to ruin everybody’s life by#merely existing. so work is a double-edged sword because it’s another source of Pain but it’s ALSO an escape which is Totally Healthy but#then there’s my fanfics. writing what I wanna write and sharing it with you guys and tormenting you and my blorbos is a kind of happiness I#will never find anywhere else. reading that to the server was one of those moments of pure euphoria even if I was plagued by Stage Fright#at the same time. so yeah. it really really really deepens my already horrid depression that I can’t write and I can’t release content rn#bc it means that source of pure happiness is gone with it and I’m left feeling all worthless again. idk how to fix all this. idk if I can.#I’m just so so so tired;;;;;#i forgot where I was going with this I feel like I keep repeating myself but anyway that’s all for now I’m gonna go see if I can cry#oh! one more thing. i haven’t talked to my Blood Family (apart from my sisters and Rarely my dad) SINCE I GOT KICKED OUT but last night my#aunt called me and we talked about my mother and she had a breakdown to me over the phone so I remembered all over again what it was like#living with my mother and maybe realized I never actually processed any of that trauma. it’s all just coming pouring out thru my writing.#all the Abuse themes going on in CMTO? 100% projection so sorry u had to witness this guys 💜 but anyway she told me I rlly helped validate#her own feelings and apologized for crying to me ab this but I told her what I tell everyone—that Crying Is Good For The Soul#and maybe that’s why I’ve been crying so much lately. because I need to. and I need to stop holding everything in. my friends are genuinely#worried and I somehow convinced myself that they have better things to do than listen to my whining. so anyway I’m gonna go cry 💜#for self care purposes. ok done for real this time see y’all soon next time I decide to rant in the tags again#mal rants
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thecherrygod · 7 months
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Hm
#my posts#look yes i keep making at least one post like this a day and it will continue but its either letting it out or i have no idea#also in my defense y believe most of my mutuals arent up so it is peak time to post about feeling like shit#my plan isnt for someone to read these its for the bullshit to get out and try to not get to the point shit hits the fan#anyways man teen me would be so fucking disappointed by so many things the mere fact we are still alive would make them livid#and alive and living like this?#probably if they knew it was gonna be like this it would have happened lmao#they would just think we are a coward and a dumbass who can't do anything right tbh but they did know then too it's not knew#if it was new we wouldn't be here wouldn't we. why am i referring to is in plural it's just two dif timed mes#but yeah they are probably like 'hey of you are gonna keep living at least you could do it in a way no one regrets it' but alas we do#and we will keep regretting it bc our death won't be our choice. the deadline for it was extended until we were 20 and it's long closed#.... things are getting worse tho they put true but like. that isn't an option anymore lmao it sucks tbh#... i don't have anything else to say that isn't repeating it#i. do wish it was still an option idek why it isn't anymore it's some stupid arbitrary rule#i hate this. it's like. i really don't do a single thing that could make any version of me proud of myself#not teen me not child me not current me. none of us is okay with whatever the fuck i have going on and yet!#.man. I've spent all day tired and wanting to cry for nothing particular but also for literally everything so like#that would fix me. i don't know how to make it happen#... I'm gonna go to sleep#i need my phone to finish charging but that'll be over soon#so yeah I'll. go to sleep soon
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lostmymind-0 · 2 months
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Sugary sweet | LN4 x Piastri!Reader
Words: 2420
Warnings: diabetes, passing out, hospital
Note: I am not diabetic myself but one of my close family members is, so I wrote this off of how it is for them. I do know that it can be different for everyone and please tell me if I got something completely wrong 🙏
Part 2
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Lando theoretically knew that it was wrong to have a crush on his teammates sister. He knew that he should not hope for her to be at every race. He knew that it could destroy the friendship he had build with the young Aussi. But Lando could not help but admire Olivia Piastri, the twin sister of his teammate Oscar Piastri. The young girl was an engineering student and did an internship at McLaren, following their engineers and learning directly from them. The first time Lando met the young girl was at testing in Bahrain, where he also found out that she was Oscar’s sister. Both Piastri twins were rather quiet and introverted but Oscar was the more extroverted one even if not by much. Olivia only seemed to really talk when it was about the car and the engineering side of it. She barely chatted with others but instead watched what was happening around her. He mostly sees her when she is shadowing Andrew Jarvis or Will Joseph at race weekends. He tried to make conversation with her but always got interrupted by eighter an engineer, his coach or Oscar.
The Miami GP was the first time Lando got the chance to really talk to the young girl. It was a shitty race for both drivers and the mood in the garage was not too good. Everyone tried to figure out a way to improve the car for the next race in about twenty days. “How is the team treading you?”, Lando asked Olivia as he joined her to take a look at the data. Confused did the girl turn her head to the brit, looking at him with wide eyes. “Are you talking to me?”, she asked, her voice quiet. “Yeah, there is no one else here. So how is everyone treading you?”, Lando joked and repeated his question while leaning against the counter. “Good…everyone is nice to me.”, the girl admitted with flustered cheeks. “Good to hear that. What do you say to the data?”, “The wear on the tire is a bit much and the aerodynamics are also not too good.”, she said quietly. Looking at the data and recalling the race Lando agreed completely with her. They talked a little more about the car and data before Lando lead the conversation a little bit more to personal stuff. To her own surprise did Olivia felt pretty comfortable talking to Lando. Sure she also felt pretty flustered every time he looked at her but she just hoped he would not notice that. “Liv! Where are you?”, Oscar’s voice interrupted the two as he walked up to them. “I am here, Osc.”, the girl told her brother who looked his teammate up and down, trying to see what he was planning. “We are supposed to eat together, remember?”, he told his sister who nodded. Saying goodbye to the brit the twins left.
“How is your sugar? You seem a bit sweaty.”, Oscar asked his sister as soon as they were out of hearing from Lando. “I am fine. A bit high but I am going to correct once we are in the car.”, Olivia told her brother after scanning the small sensor that was hidden by her papaya shirt, with her phone. “How high?”, “232 mg/dL. But like I said I am going to correct it as soon as we are in the car.”, she told her brother but he was not satisfied. “That is pretty high. Why did you not correct it earlier?”, “Osc, my pump broke and I have to correct manually so I had not the time to do so. I am fine, stop worrying.”, the girl told her older brother by twenty minutes. Grumbling something Oscar accepted the answer and lead his sister out of the paddock. He had tried to get her to tell the team about her diabetes but the girl refused. She hated it when people asked her questions about it or treated her different. She also did not want to appear weak, as it was hard enough for a girl in this industry. Being disabled would not help to be taken as serious as a man, so she kept it to herself. It worked out well for now. No one knew, aside form Oscar of course.
As the race in Imola was cancelled due to flooding did McLaren call every one into the factory to try and solve the problems from Miami. The engineers worked their asses off to try and find solutions. Olivia was there the entire time, helping the engineers and learning from their work. They worked for hours on end when Olivia forgot to check up on her sugar levels. She already knew she was low. The fogginess in her brain and the feeling of being dizzy told her that she was in fact very low. But she could not go right now. They were going over the data with Lando and Zack right now. She tried to listen to what everyone was saying when her vision got cloudy. Right as she wanted to say something to Lando did her speech give up. “Lan…”, was all she got out before passing out. Panicked the brit caught her before she could hit her head on the floor. “What the fuck?”, Zack asked and ordered someone to get Oscar as well as calling an ambulance. Laying her down Lando kept her head in his lap, trying to wake her up. “Did she say anything about being not well?”, Zack asked the engineers she had been following. “No, everything was fine. She seemed tired but we all are so we thought nothing about it. Plus you know how quiet she is.”, one told Zack who nodded. Not long after did a panicked Oscar ran into the room. “What happened?”, he asked and kneeled down next to his sister and Lando. “She just passed out.”, Lando told his teammate, nodding Oscar asked, “Where is her phone?”. Looking around Zack found it on the table behind them. Handing it to Oscar, everyone watched the Aussi as he unlocked it and held it against her arm. A beep appeared before Oscar cursed. “What is going on, Oscar?”, Lando asked, worried about the girl he was holding onto his lap. “My sister is diabetic. Her blood sugar dropped very low, that’s why she is passed out.”, Oscar explained and Lando as well as everyone else was quite shocked to learn this. “Why has she not said a word about it?”, Zack asked the Aussi right as the paramedics walked in. “She wants to be taken seriously and worried that she would not be seen as serious if anyone knew about this.”, he explained and then explained to the paramedics what was going on. They gave her an emergency glucose shot and checked her sugars while waiting for the glucose to work. After about fifteen long minutes did Olivia regain her consciousness. “It is okay. Everything is fine.”, Oscar told his sister as she was still disorientated and unable to form words. Together with Oscar did the paramedics took her to the nearest hospital to monitor her and make sure she does not drop this low again. Lando followed them close behind as he could not stop worrying about the girl. “You like her.”, Zack noticed as his young driver was about to get into his car. “Who?”, “Olivia, you like her.”, Zack repeated. Looking at his boss the brit was unsure what to say. “Go and see her. OH, and Lando, tell her.”, Zack laughed before returning into the factory.
Oscar was not surprised to see Lando walking into his sister’s hospital room. She was asleep and stable right now. Her sugar level slowly getting higher. “How is she doing?”, Lando carefully asked. “She is doing fine. Her sugar is getting higher. Come sit down, she should wake up in a bit.”, Oscar said and patted the chair next to his. “I still don’t understand how this happened.”, Lando admitted, blaming himself for not noticing anything. “She most likely forgot to eat anything while working as well as checking her levels. So she slowly got lower and lower.”, Oscar explained, knowing how focused his sister could get. The two were living together as they went together to boarding school and then also moved together after. “And how did she not notice anything earlier or someone else?”, “She can get very low and still function some times, so it is very hard to tell from the outside. Especially if you don’t know. She most likely knew that she was low but thought she could make it a bit longer.”, “How low was she?”, Lando asked, curious. He did not knew a lot about diabetes but wanted to learn as much as he could. Thinking Oscar said, “Under fifty for sure. Her sensor just said low so it had to be below that. I would guess around 30. Maybe a little lower or higher.”.
After what felt like an eternity for Lando, did Olivia woke up. “Where am I?”, she groaned and sat up a little, now noticing the brunette sitting next to her brother. “In the hospital. You passed out from being low. Again.”, Oscar kind of scolded her, but the truth was that he was always worried about her and her wellbeing. Nodding the young girl tried to remember what happened exactly. “Please tell me I did not pass out in front of Zack and all engineers? Please, Osc.”, she whined, remembering where she was and what she had been doing as she passed out. “I am sorry but you did. I am going to get you some food and a nurse.”, he claimed and left his teammate and sister alone to talk. “You freaked me out, Pastry.”, Lando stated, making the girl blush. “I am sorry. I did not plan this.”, she mumbled, feeling a lot more shy as she was alone with Lando. “I think you also freaked out everyone else. But how are you feeling?”, Lando said and sat down next to her, where Oscar used to sit. “I am better. I should have taken care of my sugar level earlier. It is embarrassing to end up in the hospital because of this. Even more passing out in front of my boss. Do you think Zack will fire me?”, she now panicked. Chuckling at her panic Lando took her hand in his and calmed her down, “Zack wont fire you. No one is going to take you less serious now. Everything is good, love.”. Heat rushed into her cheeks as she heard that nickname. “Thank you, Lando.”, she whispered and looked at him. His eyes were beautiful as well as the little smirk he wore on his lips. “Do you like what you see, love?”, Lando teased her, leaning closer. As she turned her head to avoid his piercing look did his warm, big hand cup her cheek. Turning her head to him. Tension grew as they both slowly leaned into each other. Like magnets. Lando did the last step and closed the gap between them. Connecting their lips in a kiss. Slow at first to give her the chance to back out. To his surprise did she not back out but instead grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. His hand was in her hair by now, holding her close to him. “What the actual fuck!?”, someone yelled, making the two jump apart. Lando almost fell off the chair as he turned to the door. There stood Oscar. A tray with food in his hand and a giggling nurse behind him. “Osc…I…we…”, Olivia stuttered completely flustered. Lando on the other hand tried his best not to giggle. The girl he had the biggest crush on just kissed him back so his ego was a little blown up. “I think I need to bleach my eyes out.”, Oscar stated dramatically as he put down the food next to his sister on the table. To everyone’s luck did the nurse intertwine, “Miss Piastri how are you feeling? I assume better?”, “Yeah…I feel better.”, Olivia said and bit her lip to try not to blush even more. “I am glad to hear this. We are going to check your sugar level one last time before we let you go.”, the nurse said and tested the sugar level one more time. It was almost completely back to normal. “Okay, we are going to keep you for about an other hour and then you are free to go home.”, the nurse said and left the three alone.
The hour was the longest in Olivia’s life. To say that it was awkward to sit in the room with your crush, who just kissed you and your brother who walked into said kiss when they were teammates was not the most fun. In hopes of help did she even text her mother. But due to the time difference did she not answer her. “Can we please address this? Or I am dropping again due to anxiety.”, Olivia finally said. Both boys looked at each other before looking at her. “Do you have serious intentions with my sister?”, Oscar asked Lando. It was not what Olivia had expected Oscar to say but it was a start. “I do. I really like her.”, Lando told him, in a tone Olivia did not knew from him. it was very serious and not a hint of sassiness in it. letting out a very long and overly dramatic sigh did Oscar say, “Fine. I will not say anything against this if my sister really likes you, what I think as she kissed you, but the moment you hurt her will I push you into the wall with my car. Now if you excuse me. I still need to bleach my eyes.”. With a kiss on the forehead did Oscar left Olivia alone with Lando. “So we both like each other. How about I take you out on a date? We can go out as soon as you are free to go.”, Lando said excited. Smiling a little Olivia took his hand telling him, “I would love to go on a date with you but I think I don’t have the energy to go out right now. How about we stay in and maybe watch a movie or something like that? Or game?”, “You game?”, Lando asked surprised. Feeling a little shy again she admitted, “A little but not on stream or anything.”.
Part 2
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xgsturn · 20 days
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good idea? - ( c.s )
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summary: you couldn’t sleep so you decided to text chris asking if he wanted to smoke, it’s something you both always did and one thing lead to another.
warnings: SMUT, smoking (weed), oral (female receiving), pet names, (ma, baby), p n v (let’s not be silly wrap before u tap). probably more but idk
word count: 1,557
author’s note: this is my first one shot i’m scared LMFAOOO also i didn’t proofread sorry if there is any mistakes!!
please let me know if you want to be un added or added into the taglist. i had just decided to add my favorite writers!!
also my request & inbox are open 💓💓
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i’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past 20 minutes. i’ve shifted and turned so many times i honestly lost count.
i open my eyes, groaning with annoyance. some nights i had trouble falling asleep, but there was always one solution to that problem.
i grab my phone, opening the messages app before quickly clicking chris’ contact.
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this was a thing that happened every now and then. if one of us had troubles going to sleep i’d go over to his or vise versa. we’d smoke together and then usually get tired after that.
i hear a soft knock against my window signaling that he was here. i walked over to see chris sitting on the small balcony that was attached to the window.
i opened the window, climbing through feeling a slight breeze on my shoulders before shrugging it off.
“like i said you could’ve just used the door” i playfully roll my eyes at him.
“suck my dick” he replied back before sitting down on the ground. “when?” i said seriously. he raised his eyebrows and looked up at me.
“in all seriousness, you’re a life saver.” i sigh, sitting down, and relaxing my body.
he pulled out a fresh rolled joint from his sweatpants pocket, “i know” he smirked, putting the joint between his lips.
“lighter” he mumbles against the joint.
i toss him the lighter, watching as he lit it and inhaled before slowly blowing the smoke out.
i’ll never deny the fact that chris is hot, we had a flirty friendship from the beginning but nothing ever got to far.
he passes the joint to me, i relight it due to the wind causing it to ash out.
i inhale, feeling the smoke enter my lungs. i look at him as i blew it out.
the joint eventually dies out. i look over to chris, starting to admire the way the dim street light in front of him is showing off his features. his hair slightly messy, his eyes hanging low and red and fuck his lips-, he interrupts my thoughts.
“did you hear anything i just said?” he asks, his voice snapping me out of some trance i was in.
“sorry, what were you saying?”
“i asked if you wanted to go inside, it’s getting a little cold” he repeats himself, looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed.
“oh yeah, sorry just a bit distracted” i reply back covering my face from embarrassment.
as i’m climbing back into my room i feel chris’ gaze burning through me.
i get into my room and chris follows right behind me.
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chris and i have been talking for the past 15 minutes. we both got onto our phones scrolling aimlessly, sitting in a comfortable silence.
i still can’t help to think about him, how his touch would feel on me, how his lips would feel against mine, how his long slender fingers would feel inside me.
i zoned out with a video playing over and over.
“what are you thinking about?” chris looked at me curiously through his low hooded eyes.
we were both still feeling the high effects.
what am i thinking about? i’m asking myself the same question. we have been best friends for years. i mean i’ve always found chris attractive, but tonight is different.
the way his body is leaned against the headboard, his biceps slightly flexing as he puts down his phone and crosses his arms, putting his full focus on me.
maybe it’s just the weed still lingering or maybe i just crave his touch.
“nothing.” i reply trying to act nonchalant but clearly not working.
“nothing, hm?” chris smiles loosely, as he looks down at my thighs then back up to my eyes, making heavy eye contact.
i follow his gaze down to my thighs, realizing how tightly squeezed they are.
i widened my eyes and look back up at him, before trying to relax the ache between my legs.
he puts his hand between my legs, spreading them open. he rotates his body, fully facing me now. his lips inches away from mine.
“is this a good idea?” i say studying his face for an answer.
“do you want this?” he replies in a serious tone.
“so bad but-.”
before i’m done speaking, i feel a hand on my jaw, pulling me closer to him and attaching my lips to his.
my body tenses from the sudden move but quickly relaxes soon after.
he bites my bottom lip softly, making my mouth part open giving him access to slip his tongue in.
he climbs on top of me, refusing to break the kiss.
our tongues fought for dominance before letting him win.
i tugged on his hair, signaling i wanted more. he groaned into my mouth, making me squeeze my legs around his waist. i couldn’t ignore the feeling between my thighs anymore.
“tell me what you want.” he spoke, trying to catch his breath. his lips pink and swollen.
i swallowed, “anything.” i feel desperate for him, wanting to feel some kind of relief.
“be more specific baby”
“need your fingers.” i mumbled quietly.
“good girl” he smirked, pulling my shorts down to my ankles. he slowly kisses my thighs going to the areas around my core.
he avoided where i needed him most.
“please.” i say while looking down at him through my lashes.
his hand still on the band of my pink thong. “can i take these off?” he whispered, looking at me. i nodded.
“i need to hear you say it ma”
“fuck, yes please” i practically beg.
he pushed my thong to the side before glazing one fingers over my entrance.
he slipped one fingers inside me slowly, letting me adjust. i moan into my hand muffling it.
he removes my hand from my mouth, putting it beside me. “i want your neighbors hearing how good i make you feel.”
i got even wetter after that sentence.
as i adjusted, i wanted more. “another one.. please” he listens to my commands and adds his second finger.
he started going faster, curling his fingers inside me and hitting that spongy spot each time. “f-fuck, chris.” i moan out, my fingers gripping my sheets.
he adds his mouth into the mix, sucking and licking my clit with such precision that made me start rolling my hips towards him.
my back was arching as he continued with his eyes fixed on my face.
i knew chris was experienced but i wasn’t expecting this.
my knees were already getting weak. “chris…” my hand going to his brown loose curls, tugging them. “i’m close.” i started to squirm underneath him.
“not yet.” he spoke against my cunt, sending vibrations through my entire body.
as soon as he said those words i couldn’t hold it anymore. the knot in my stomach eventually snapped, coating chris’ face and fingers with my cum.
“you can’t follow a simple rule?” his expression was stern and serious, while licking his fingers and mouth clean.
“i’m sorry, i couldn’t hold it” i reply, breathing heavy with worry all over my face.
he doesn’t say anything, instead he starts taking off his sweatpants following with his boxers. his dick springs free, hitting his stomach.
he was big and thick which honestly i wasn’t surprised about.
it was already leaking with pre cum. a vein coming from the tip to the base.
“think you can handle another?”
i move my eyes up to his face, “i- i don’t know if i can.” i stutter out.
“yes you can and you will” he says firmly.
his eyes darkened with lust, turning me on more.
i nod my head obeying him.
“which position do you want me in?”
“lay on your back so i can see your pretty face.” he slightly tilts his head and smirks.
the ache between my legs comes back causing me to clench my thighs again.
he notices and pushes his knee between my legs, leaving it against my bare cunt.
a pornographic moan leaving my mouth, as i try to grind against his knee to feel some kind of relief.
“be patient baby.” he strokes his dick a couple of times to fully harden it.
he removes his knee and bends down to push himself in.
we both moan feeling the pleasure that we were craving.
chris started thrusting his hips into mine at such a fast pace, and at this point i could cum at any minute.
he leans down and starts kissing my neck sloppily as he tries to remain at his pace.
“taking me so well.” he whispers into my ear.
“chris” that’s all i could say, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my hips lazily jolted up meeting his thrust half way.
“hm? i fucked you dumb huh.” i nod as a response. i couldn’t even think of a sentence to prove him wrong.
he started rubbing on my clit fast. i threw my head back, my mouth hanging open but nothing coming out.
“cum for me ma.” he said maintaining eye contact, that was all i needed before i squirmed underneath him and came all over his dick. “that’s my girl” he whispered.
he groaned and let his head drop as came into me. i felt his warm liquid feel me up.
he dropped his body beside mine, turning to look at me. “holy fucking shit” he chuckled, catching his breath.
“so friends with benefits?” i suggest while also catching my breath. “fuck yes” he replies almost immediately, making me laugh beside him.
“here let’s go get you clean up” he says while getting up from the bed.
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tag list!!
@lovingmattysposts @luv4kozume @worldlxvlys @strawberrysturniolo @luvmila444 @m4ttslvr @sturniol0s @fawnchives @hysteria-things
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l0ngschl0ngking · 1 year
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Not the person I once knew
Joel Miller x f!reader
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summary: past lovers reunite after many years…and then what?
warnings: SMUT (vaginal fingering, oral-m!receiving, protected p in v -i know, shocker-, biting, choking, overstimulation al liiil’ possesive!Joel -just a smudge-), ANGST, mentions of death and shootings, thoughts and mentions of suicide, cursing, Joel and reader being two idiots that cannot express how they feel and…fluff because I can’t help myself
word count: 10k ( yeah the zero is supposed to be there)
A/N: I am too jumping on the Joel Miller train. This fic actually has plot and it’s not just a straight up porn which is shocking :D. Also I am actually crazy - I have a week off from school and that’s why I write that much. I can’t stop - literally.
Your feet were aching – you've had to walk at least 20 or so kilometers by now – and the cold was biting your skin most unpleasantly – finding a good winter coat or any kind of winter clothes was not easy in this fucking Outbreak. You started to feel thirsty and tired and all you wanted to do was lie down and fall asleep – maybe death by cold wasn't the worst fate you could've endured.
Your mind quickly flashing to your group – you've killed most of them, the snarling of them still ringing in your ears, the smell of gunpowder lingering in your nose. You've done what you had to do – one of your guys got infected and infected almost all of the other ones – the ones that survived either left to fend for themselves which you thought was the stupidest thing ever or killed themselves – fucking cowards. Their blood stuck to you like a second skin – the smell of iron making you uneasy when you started to think about it. Maybe you should've killed yourself too. What was the point in surviving now, anyways? You didn't have a group anymore and you had no supplies anymore. Sure, you could eat the snow for water intake and try to hunt something – but you felt too exhausted for that. Your knees buckling – you fall into the cold snow – you hear something then. Voices, the sound of horses neighing and a…dog? Were you starting to hallucinate? You weren't though – the sounds getting louder and clearer – you quickly scramble to your feet and grab your pistol but you pale when you see how many of them are there – all of them looking more sure of themselves on their horses and with their guns raised on you. The dog barks at you, snapping and growling and you've never thought that you might die getting robbed and then mauled by a dog – though they did not look like raiders. Their clothes look clean and kind of new – compared to your worn and torn-off jacket at least.
Someone says something but you don't hear them – your gaze focused on the dog, your pistol pointing at the handler. You've always been a dog lover – before the Outbreak at least – but this didn't look like he wanted to be friends with you.
“Hey, I said drop your fucking gun or I'll shoot your head clean off!” One of them says – repeating himself – and you gulp dryly doing what he says – you were a fighter but also you weren't stupid. There were too many of them and even if you had good aim you wouldn't be able to shoot your way out of this. The guy who addressed you squints his eyes when you lower the gun to your feet – he gestures for you to kick it further and you reluctantly do so.
“Listen here, cowboy,” you sass when you see the cowboy hat on his head, “I was just passing by – my group is dead, they got infected and-” at your words everyone grips their guns a little tighter – the person holding the dog loosening the leash a little in his hands. “Whoa, whoa, I am not infected, I swear.” You sound desperate and you are – you probably should have blown your fucking head of yourself when you still had the chance.
“We will see about that.” One of them gruffs – you guess it's the one closest to you, the one on your right – and you have the urge to break his nose. Yeah, if you were in their position you wouldn't trust someone either but you are not – and you feel pretty fucking terrified – even after years of survival. “Release Buckley!” The first one – the one with that stupid cowboy hat – says and then you see the big ball of fur running towards you. Closing your eyes you pray that he can't smell any jerky on you – you know so he could nibble on your fingers a little and get a taste of you. The pain of teeth digging into you as you expected doesn't come and so you open one of your eyes – you see that the dog's tail is wagging and a grin slowly makes its way on your face. You slowly bend one of your knees - you are not getting any younger and pain shoots through your leg – but you ignore it and start petting Buckley. He's not that bad when he doesn't look like he wants to eat you alive.
A high-pitched whistle cuts through the air and then he is gone – heeling opposite to the person who previously handled him. They don't say anything more and start to slowly turn their horses on their heels when an idea comes to your mind – they look well-fed and clean, and you feel hungry enough that you would eat practically anything. The exhaustion creeps back up at you after the adrenaline wears off and you shout a quick “hey” - their heads turning in question. You offer them a little smile, kicking your feet into the snow and putting your gun back.
“You guys have a place for one more hungry stomach? I just want something to eat – maybe a few hours of sleep and then I'll be out of your hair. Pinky promise.” you grin and show off your pinky finger – you've always had a way of trying to make the situation lighter than it really was and now that you know they don't pose any tŕeal threat – for now at least – you get your hopes up. All of them share a quick look before the one with that stupid cowboy hat – who wears something like that in the middle of the winter – nods and your grin spreads wider. You grab one of the hands that reach towards you to pull you on a horse – and when you are finally on its back, you stroke its muscular thigh lightly. Maybe this day was not so bad after all.
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When you arrive at Jackson it is almost noon. You raise both brows when you see the wooden heavy gait in front of you– the people patrolling their stations curiously looking back at you. When you asked them if you could come with them you didn't expect a whole fucking community of people in a small town with electricity and other necessities – your eyes wandering to the various small buildings that look like shops more so than something where you could take shelter. When you asked them if you could come with them you expected a flimsy building without windows in which you would hardly make a fire. You aren't surprised anymore why they acted so tough – families lived here, old couples and people of various ages. A small flicker of hope goes straight to your heart – maybe you could stay here – you were tired of fighting to live another day. And this looked like a great fucking place.
The guy that was riding with you dismounts the horse – helping you do the same and you pet the animal – thanking it quietly. People don't really look at you – at least not so openly as the ones that were taking patrol – they are doing their own things – some of them just crossing the street, others helping to build a new building – you wonder what that is going to be for – a group of kids runs right in front of you squeaking. They play and your heart aches – it's the first time you've seen kids be so carefree since the outbreak happened – it looked like their childhood was not ripped from them. One of the kids – a young girl no older than 6 – looks almost like Sarah – curly wild hair, big eyes and the cutest dimples you've seen adorn her face – and you feel a pang of hurt in your heart. Reaching for your necklace you squeeze the ring that is on it tightly in your palm – Joel and Sarah would love it here.
The man you've called cowboy asks you something and you turn to look at him – he's quite handsome but he is a lot younger than you for sure – he has this boyish innocence still written all over his face when you pin him with your stare. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“I will accompany you to the canteen. Tommy is already waiting there, a few men that were with us already informed him about your arrival.” He sounds formal. Too formal – as if his words were learned. Like a little boy scout you think. Images of Tommy Miller through your mind and you grin fondly at the memory of him – you could never imagine him being a leader of a community like this.
“Lead the way, cowboy.” You don't miss the way that the boy's ears gain a darker shade of red and so do his cheeks.
When he leads you to the canteen – you can't believe that they have a real freakin canteen here – you look around because you can't take it all in at once. Jackson looks like an old town from some kind of cowboy movie – maybe that's why the boy wears the stupid hat. A few people on the way politely greet you and you greet them back. When you arrive at the canteen the bo points to the man that has his back turned back on you and before you can thank him – has gone. The lights adorning the room are a nice touch – it looks old school here – old wooden chairs, and tables with plaid cloth scattered across the room, and you can see an old Coca-Cola freezer from the corner of your eye. Your steps are much lighter – even though you are still hungry and tired you're at least not cold anymore, the temperature here is not as cold as outside. The man that cowboy pointed at talks to someone – an older lady with a high-pitched voice with pretty blue eyes – and you wait before they end their conversation, standing to the side. The lady whispers something to him – you can see her lips moving but don't hear anything – and then the man turns and looks at you. If you have something in your hands right now you would for sure drop it.
Tommy fucking Miller was standing a few steps away from you. He looked older – of course – and his hair was a lot longer than you'd last seen him, the mustache he was sporting suited him. You saw the way he scrunched his brows together – as if trying to categorize you to one of his people – and then you saw the realization cross his eyes. His hands drop to his sides and when you whisper a hushed “Tommy ?” he was right in front of you – hugging you close to his body. The hug was desperate and you felt the tears you held back falling from your eyes – the palms of his hands soothingly caressing your back. After a few minutes or was it seconds he pulls away from you and you have so many questions but none of it comes out of your mouth – the lump in your throat not allowing you to. If he was here – alive and breathing – did it mean Sarah and Joel were here too? Or…No, you couldn't think that way. You had buried the memories of Millers a long time ago – but now, seeing Tommy here? He gave you hope.
“Wow-uh, I’d thought I’d never see you again, Doc.” The small nickname of endearment falling from his lips makes you sob and he softly grabs your elbow so you two could sit at the nearest table – a young woman quickly rushes to your side when Tommy gestures with his hand for her to come and he whispers something in her ear – just now you can see the few people scattered around staring at you curiously.
“Tommy-I-is-is Joel here too? And Sarah.” You grab the ring on your necklace tighter – you've been dreaming of this moment for too long – and he looks at your hand noticing the shiny thing attached to the chain on your neck. The engagement ring Joel proposed with.
“I-uh- I'll tell you everything but you need to eat first, Doc, alright?” You don't feel hungry anymore but you nod – noticing the look in Tommy's eyes makes you uneasy – but he offers you a smile and you offer one right back reaching for his hand – squeezing his hand in yours.
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You sit and listen to Tommy talk – you aren't sure if minutes pass or hours – but your eyes nurn from all the crying and you feel your stomach drop with your heart multiple times during Tommy's story telling how he – they – come up here. How Joel was desperate to contact you – you were in Houston on a quick trip with your friends at the time, to look for the wedding dress – seems stupid when you think about it right now. How they killed Sarah – your sweet little Sarah, you thought of her as your own, you've lived with her for almost three years and that girl adored you and you adored her right back – you cannot imagine the pain Joel felt when she was killed right in his arms. Tommy tells you about Joel's suicide attempt too – how he didn't see any purpose in life when both his daughter and fiance were not around anymore, he didn't know if you were still alive. He tells you about his wife, how he got here – how he joined Fireflies for a while and you have the urge to punch him when he says that – you have a distaste for that motherfuckers. He tells you about Ellie – not much though – but enough to figure out Joel cares about that girl a whole lot. And most importantly he announces to you that both of them are here and you almost jump out of your chair to go and find him – but Tommy quickly grabs your elbow and stops you. He tells you about how Joel changed a lot – but so have you. When you tell him that he just shakes his head – you don't understand.
“Doc, I don't know how he will react seeing you after 20 years. He is not the person you once knew. I think you should sleep on it first.”
You want to protest but the sound of the door opening and the rushed call of “Tommy!” stops you. You look at who interrupted you and it's a girl close to Sarah's age. She has short brown hair tightened up in a ponytail and a pair of brown eyes. She has a scar across her brow and when she stops next to Tommy and mutters a quick fuck – you know it's Ellie. Joel's Ellie.
“I heard there's someone new in town and I was super curious – Joel told me to wait for him but then he started playing on his stupid guitar and-” he still plays on a guitar. That pulls a little smile on your face. The girl seems like she didn't even notice you and Tommy wants to open his mouth when Ellie seems finally acknowledges your presence.”Fuck, it's you. You're the new person.” Tommy scolds Ellie when she curses but you just grin at her attitude and seemingly “I want to know and also do know everything ” mindset.
“It's okay, Tommy. God knows I curse a lot too. Hi, Ellie.” She seems confused about how you know her name and you've missed talking to kids – God you have missed your job so much, after all, that's how you and Joel met. Sarah broke her leg and when the nurse told him you could finally see them he was more nervous than a mouse being chased by a cat. He was so worried about Sarah that he didn't even notice you ogled him after you were all done with Sarah – but of course, she did. She was a sweet kind and when they left she muttered to her father he should definitely ask you on a date – he just shook his head and told her not to be silly – you were too pretty for him. Turned out you lived close by and from their visit you've started seeing both Sarah and Joel a lot more outside your work. It was you who finally got the courage to ask the hot single dad out – you will never forget how he gaped at you seemingly not trusting his own voice to answer so Sarah quickly jabbed him in the ribs and said that: “he would very much like that” - he was talking her ear off about you even unknowingly so.
“Okay, how the fuck do you know my name and who are you because it seems you and Tommy are big buddies here. Just so you know he has a wife.” She says matter of factly and you think you like this kid a lot – you can see why Joel does too.
Tommy clears his throat. “Ellie, this is Doc.” He says and he doesn't even notices the fact he called you your nickname – you see the way Ellie's brows scrunch up in confusion. “She's a long lost…family.”
“What, are you like their sister? If so you for sure received all the pretty genes – though Joel never said anything about ever having a sister.” She's a lot more talkative than you thought she would be and you think it might be because she finally has a place that she can call home and not worry about stranger danger – at least not that much.
You chuckle. “No I am…” you look at Tommy to see if you can say who you are – though you don't know if Joel still thinks of you as his fiánce – after all, it's been 20 years. He just nods. “ I am Joel's fiánce” You can hear her gasp and say “holy shit!?” - most of the people in the canteen turn their heads to throw her a nasty look. Well, that much at being discreet
“You are Joel's dead fiánce? You don't seem that dead to me.” She mutters that last sentence as she starts inspecting your face and scrunches her nose at you. “You smell.” She states matter of factly and Tommy scolds her once again but you just shrug your shoulders at him.
“It's true, Tommy. No harm in being honest.” If Ellie knows about you it meant she must know about Sarah too and it also must mean Joel talked about you to her. That fact makes your heart build a little faster. Maybe…maybe he still cares about you – logically you know he does, he was a very loyal man back in the days too – but still, it makes your cheeks heat up.
“Joel will lose his mind! You have to see him like right now!” she sounds enthusiastic and you are too – seeing Joel after 20 years? You've been dreaming of this moment for so long…Tommy interrupts your little fantasy – clapping his hands he throws a look at Ellie and smiles at you.
“I think it's for the best if you showered first, Doc As Ellie said you don't smell so fresh and maybe a reunion with your husband would be a lot happier if you don't make his whole house stink, eh?” You regularly nod and when Tommy says you can shower at his Ellie says she will come with you – she asks you a lot of questions about yourself – where you grew up, what did you do before Outbreak, where did the nickname Doc come from – she says you are super cool when you answer her you were pediatrician before everything went to shit. She asks how you and Joel met and you answer her truthfully – you've never liked lying. Tommy just walks next to you and listens – you look at him from the corner of your eyes and see he is thinking – he always has this look on his face – his brows are scrunched and his lips are set in a thin line. Joel has that look too when he thinks about something or concentrates – it was your favorite quirk of his.
The walk is quick and you meet Mariah – she's sweet – she offers you clean clothes and when she closes the door behind you so you can take a shower – you exhale loudly. Knowing that Joel is here and that you will see him made your stomach twist in anticipation. Ellie hangs back downstairs with Mariah and Tommy and you can hear their hushed voices – you are pretty sure that they are talking about you. You want to quickly hop in the shower but when you do it's like heaven on earth – the first spray of hot water hits your sore muscles and you feel yourself start to relax. You haven't had a hot shower since the beginning of the outbreak and you missed it so badly. You try to scrub all of the grime and blood from your skin and hair but it seems like mission impossible and you stay in the shower for far longer than the 10 minutes you said. When you step out of the shower you look at yourself in the mirror – at your face and the bags under your eyes, at your body scattered with scars and the thought of Joel not liking what he will see quickly flashes through your mind but you push it away just as quickly as it came – this was a different world. You wrap the fluffy towel around yourself and sigh in bliss. The clothes Mariah gave you fit you and maybe it's that much of your style – but they are clean and smell like they were just pulled fresh out of the washing machine. When you come down quickly the banter stops between the three of them and you can hear Ellie say that “great, you finally don't look like shit”. She grabs you by the arm and leaves the house – dragging you through the streets of Jackson. She walks quickly for someone so small and you try to keep up with her – the new winter coat you wear is flowing behind you with the speed you are walking.
When you arrive at the house Joel and Ellie live you try to catch your breath muttering that you are not as young as you used to be – Ellie just rolls her eyes and steps on the porch which creaks under her footsteps. You like the house – at least from the outside – you imagined something like that when you planned to move with Sarah and Joel after you two marry.
“So, we are here. Take off your boots when you come in – Joel hates cleaning up the snow I leave behind when I come in and walk in boots through the house.” You nod but then she is pushing you in and you throw her a scared look.
“You are not coming with me?” You hiss and she just shakes her head as if it was the stupidest thing she has ever heard.
“No. Enjoy your time together. I don't want to hear you two fucking.” And then she shuts the doors behind you with a force you didn't even know a little kid could possess. Right after she do you hear a gruffed “Ellie I told you to wait for me we talked about -” he stops mid-sentence and you feel like all of the air in your lungs leaves your body when comes into the view, He looks older – but somehow more handsome then you've last seen him. The grey in his hair suits him, and the patches in his beard are now more prominent than they were before. He looks good – more than good. You don't know what to do or say. The two of you just keep staring at each other – he looks you up and down and you see his breath becoming quicker. You're the first one to break the silence.
“Hi, Joel. Long time no see.” You laugh quietly and the tears in your eyes leave your vision blurred. You're the one who moves first too and you hug him tightly – he changed over the years, he's softer and he doesn't smell like he did back in the days – but there's something about his presence that feels entirely like Joel and you grab onto his plaid shirt – squeezing it in your fists. You don't want to pull away – you never want to leave him again but when you feel him not responding to the hug you slowly pull away and look into his eyes. He's scanning your face and now you see tears in his eyes as well. The weight of his calloused hands is more than welcome and you close your eyes when you feel his thumbs slowly stroke your cheeks. The small escapes your throat and you nod when he quietly – oh, so quietly murmurs - “you are alive.”. You stay like that for a while – both of you don't dare to move in case this was all just a dream. You want to hug him again – to feel him against you but when you try to pull him closer to you he unexpectedly quickly pulls you away. You look at him confused and he wipes his tears away – he doesn't know how to act around you. It's been too long. He buried the memories of you and never wanted them to resurface. The knowledge that you are alive and here right in front of him hits him like a fright train. It scares the fucking shit out of him.
He clears his throat and avoids your gaze when he asks you if you want to sit – you agree hastily - you didn't take off your boots like Ellie said and you contemplate for a flash of a second that maybe you should - when you see the change in his stance and attitude. He's trying to distance himself from you and you don't understand why – wasn't he glad you were here?
You look around the living room. It's spacey and you hate that small painting of deer above the fireplace. You quickly scan the bookshelf and figure most of the books are Ellies. When you sit on the worn-off couch you expect that Joel will sit next to you – but he moves across the room and keeps standing. You are confused and you don't understand – you never expected your reunion to go this way. It stays quiet and you break the silence once again – he never was much of a talker anyway- you and Sarah kept the house full of laughter and it was never quiet thanks to both of you – and he never thought he would miss it that much.
“I met Ellie. She actually dragged me here.” You chuckle but he doesn't respond – this was such a bad idea. He tears your heart apart with his stoic stance and silence and doesn't even know it. But he can't bring himself to speak or move – he worries if he does you will disappear.
“Okay, I guess I will go.” He wants to tell you to stay here with him. But alas nothing comes out of his mouth – though when he sees the ring on your neck he gasps and you throw him a questioning look.
“You-you kept it after all these years.” You are confused but when you see where his gaze is trained you look at your engagement ring and smile. “Yeah, I-uh, I've never stopped thinking about you or Sarah you know.” He sharply inhales, he wants to tell you so much. “And every time I look at it I hear her annoyed voice scolding you on how you proposed.” You snort and he grins softly remembering your light laughter and Sarah's huffing on how un-romantic he was.
“Babe just another five minutes, please.” You grumble and feel him smile against your skin – his patchy beard scratching your neck. His hands squeeze your hips and your breath hitches when you feel his tongue flatten against your pulse point. He hums against your skin and nips at your skin – you try to push him away but he just grins wider and hovers above you.
“You know you said that six times now come on, want to take you somewhere nice. Promise I will make it worth it.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle at his antics – he was the one who slept in most of the time – but on days like this – where you feel exhausted from the previous night's session of amazing sex – you feel like you could sleep till afternoon. You slowly kiss the bald spot on his beard and one of your hands sneaks to the band of boxers – he grabs your hand quickly and shakes his head at you.
“Na-ah, won't work on me this time, sweetheart. You can't seduce me.” You just hum and kiss the spot between his shoulder blade and neck – gently scraping your hand through his already tousled hair. His eyes flutter close for a moment and it's now your turn to grin against his skin. You know you won.
“Mmm, I don't know but you left your girlfriend pretty unsatisfied last night.” You try to push the smile off your face when he quickly opens his eyes at your words – you know he never backs down from a challenge.
“Oh?” You hum and finally cup his semi-hard cock in your hand. He grunts and you smile, biting your lip when he slowly puts his fingers inside your panties. “So wet for me already baby, was three orgasms last night not enough for you, mhm?” He asks when he pushes two fingers inside of you and you gasp – arching your back and he squeezes one of your breasts – his now hard cock strains against his boxers.
“How do you know I-oh fuck. Didn't fake it?” you grit out when his fingers brush against the spongy spot inside of you – his thumb drawing circles on your clit leisurely. His eyes darken at your question and he hooks the two of his fingers inside of you – it feels too good and all you can do is just moan in pure bliss.
“Oh, believe me, sweetheart, I know. This sweet pussy grips me like a vice when you cum. Guess I need to remind you.” The other hand that was squeezing your tit now goes higher and he strokes your jaw – you grant his access to your mouth and he growls when you bite on his lower lip and your go to the back of your head when he speeds his hand – his tongue sliding into your mouth and when he pulls away you kiss the underside of his jaw.
“Guess you do.” he mumbles something alongside “such a smart mouth” before his hands grab you around your throat and put small pressure on it – you shudder and he just hums when he feels you close. “Gonna cum for me, won't you?” You just nod and when you finally do cum – you bite his shoulder, your nails scraping across his back. He pulls his fingers out of you and sticks them in your mouth – you hum around them and push him so he is the one laying on his back.
“I have to return the favor.” You throw him a cheeky look and he just mutters an “oh god” when you pull him out of his boxers – the tip already red and sensitive, leaking precum out of it. "Guess I will have my breakfast early."
An hour later Sarah is already up and grins at you. You bid her a good morning – you try to look presentable – you've already brushed your teeth, changed and you smile at her when you see that she made pancakes.
“Sooo, do you like the ring?” she asks and you stop pouring coffee into Joel's mug. He throws Sarah a quick look of “don't say another word, please” but she ignores him. “You know, the one dad proposed with?” your go slack-jawed and look at Joel who quickly scrambles to his feet from the chair and pulls you to him.
“What is she talking about, Joel? You ask and he uncertainly smiles and bends one knee – you see the little black velvet box and when he opens it you gasp – the ring inside of it is beautiful – simple and elegant and tears well up in your eyes.
“Oh my god, dad. You said you would propose before the sunset.” Joel shrugs his shoulders and keeps his gaze trained on you.
“That was the plan but were… preoccupied.” He grins at the last word and Sarah mutters a quick “gross” but starts looking for that old stupid camera to make wvideo of the proposal– hoping you would say yes. She thought of you almost like a mother and when Joel told her he wanted to marry you she squealed in delight.
“So whad’ya say, sweetheart? Will you marry me? Even though I am proposing in our kitchen and with my pajamas on.” You nod and he lets out a breath of relief – when he stands up you kiss him passionately.
“You won't get rid of me now that easily, Texas.” You whisper against his lips as he wipes your tears away.
“And I wouldn't have it any other way.” You couldn't wait for the new chapter of your life with Joel and Sarah by your side
Joel stays quiet for a long time after your confession and he almost misses you leaving – but he registers the door shutting softly. He falls onto the floor – putting his hand on his heart which seems like it will fall out of his chest any moment- his breath is quick and he can't seem to calm himself down. His ears are ringing and he registers the flow of tears after they fall on his cheeks and into his mouth – the salty flavor of them sits heavy in his mouth – and he wishes he could be man enough and run after you. But he doesn't – he stays sitting up on his living room floor the face of you haunting his mind alongside with the old memories
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Tommy was right. Your fiánce was not the person you once knew. Joel seems to be avoiding you because you've been in Jackson for a week now and didn't see him at all. Not that you minded after seeing his enthusiasm – or rather lack of – at seeing you. You try to not think about it that much and throughout the day you occupy yourself – at night you cry a lot – Mariah always comes to your room and shushes you to sleep or if you are talkative that night she lets you talk. It's like having a girls' night but more…depressing. The people in Jackson are nice and you try to help everywhere you can. Whether it be with kids or at the canteen. Helping with sheep or horses – you often go and visit Buckley – he soothes your ongoing nerves. Joel will have to come out of hiding one day. And you are not ready for that. On the other side Ellie seems to hang with you a lot – the day after your meeting with Joel she almost tackled you to the ground when she forcefully asked what did you do to Joel – you have to give it to her, that girl got spirit and an undying loyal heart like the man she is living with. After trying to explain it to her –it was very hard because she thinks Joel can do no wrong really – and you are not saying he did, she gave in pretty easily and started hanging out with you.
You are staying at Tommy for a while – at least before you decide if you will leave which is very unlikely or they will try to find you another accommodation. She comes there every afternoon and brings her science books – you found an anatomical book in the library one day and kept it with you – and you try and teach her the various Latin words or show her where is what on her body – three days ago you two drew a life-sized human and marked bones on it and such. You've met other people too and learned that the shy cowboy's name was Henry – he asked you out and you admired him for his braveness but you told him you are probably closer to his mother's age than to be his girlfriend.
Tommy went and tried talking to Joel too but you both know how stubborn he can be and when you asked him how did it go he just shook his head low and offered you a sad smile. Today you wanted to help an old lady, Mrs.Grempinks - or something like that – with knitting. Her hands were shaking the past few days and she felt sad – you offered her help and she accepted – she doesn't need to know you do not know how to knit at all. At least it will maybe make her feel better that she is not the only one in the room with poor knitting skills. On the way to her, you come across Ellie and she lets out a relieved sigh when she spots you.
“Here you are I've been looking everywhere for you.” she empathizes the word everywhere and starts dragging you with her – where you aren't sure.
“Hey, Ellie. Slow down. Ellie!” you shriek when you figure out where exactly she is dragging you – to her – Joel's- house and you burrow your heels into the snow-covered ground.
“Joel isn't home and I want to show you something really cool – I've been working on it for the past couple of days after you borrowed me your anatomy book.” You want to protest and you turn around in the direction of Mrs. Grempkin's house but you don't have the heart to tell Ellie that you don't have time and Joel is not home and you would leave soon enough anyways – she will just show you her little project and then it's gonna be as if you never even put your foot in the house again. When she pulls you inside she again quickly closes the door behind you and dread overcomes you – oh no she didn't – she shows you the two keys in her hand and you know the other one is Joels. She locked you out.
“I am sorry but both of you are miserable and you have to talk it out!” There is nothing to talk about with Joel – he doesn't need your presence near him, it's been clear and you mouth a quiet “please, Ellie, don't do this” while you jumble with the handle. It's no use and you sigh thumping your forehead against the door. You quietly take your boots off this time and start looking around the house – looking for Joel to tell him what just happened.
You find him in his workshop – it's nice and you stay in the doorway while looking around. You see the various little wooden figures and you find it cute that he found something he can get lost in. The various guitars on the wall peak your interest – you've always loved when he played and his back is still turned on you while he focuses on his woodwork – you enter the room slowly and when you touch one of his guitars a low “hi” echoes throughout the room. His back is turned still but his hands stopped moving and he is sitting still.
“Didn't know you could hear me.” You say and he chuckles lowly.
“I'd be dead by now if I didn't hear someone sneaking up on me.” He says and you hum acknowledgment – when he finally turns to look at you your breath hitched because he is so effortlessly handsome it hurts. You cross your arms around your chest.
“I wasn't sneaking up on you.”
“Sure you weren't.” He throws you a grin and it's different than the last time you talked – or didn't really – to him. He is more relaxed and he actually looks like he doesn't mind seeing you in his house. It's quiet for a while but not that uncomfortable silence that suffocates. You look at one another and you take him all in – his aquiline nose and his full lower lip, his brown eyes and you look at the dip of his neck – licking your lips. It's suddenly too hot in here with the way his gaze burns into you.
“I am sorry.” He offers and you don't understand what for – or you do – you just want him to expand that sentence because you felt like a fool the last time you were here. “I am sorry for the way I reacted but I never thought I'd see you again and when you just appeared in my house I was overwhelmed with emotions I didn't know I could still feel. After Sarah died I-” He chokes and you are in front of him in a blink of a second – cupping his cheeks and he closes his eyes bathing in your gentle touch which he doesn't deserve - or at least he thinks so
“You don't have to tell me anything. Tommy told me and I-I am sorry what happened to Sarah. And everything you've been through, Joel.” You say and he opens his eyes and shakes his head – none of what happened was your fault and you shouldn't be sorry. He was glad you weren't with him when all of it went to shit because you'd probably be here by now. It's easy to be this intimate with him and you bask in the way he lets you touch – you expect him to pull away like last time – but he doesn't. Instead, he brings his lips closer to yours and searches for your gaze which drops when he licks his lower lip.
“I want to kiss you, sweetheart,” he murmurs and your lips are almost – almost touching when he says so. His forehead is pressed up against yours and your hands that were previously holding his face now move behind his neck – your nails scratch the spot behind his ear gently and he closes his eyes – whether in pure bliss or to hold himself back you don't know – though if its the latter you don't want that. “Need to kiss you,” he adds. You just nod your head in agreement – you wanted nothing more than to kiss him the last time you saw him.
“What are you waiting on then, Texas?” You tease and you feel him smile into the kiss – it's just a gentle press of lips – as if he was testing the waters. One of his hands grabs your hip – squeezing it – and the other moves behind your head and pushes you closer – he needs you closer. The wet press of his lips is more urgent now and his tongue licks your lower lip. You grant him access into your mouth and then the kiss becomes more urgent, more passionate, more desperate – Joel was always a good kisser and you always enjoyed just making out with him late at night to some bad movie that was on the TV. The hand on your hip moves lower and he cups your ass – you moan into his mouth and he hums, the other hand now stroking the hinge of your jaw. Your hands scratch his scalp and he almost but purrs – pulling away from you he plants butterfly kisses across your face.
“Bedroom?” The question seems silly – you need him and if you'd be any younger you'd jump his bones right here on the floor. But you are not so you nod and he pecks your lips quickly before he grabs your hand – squeezing your fingers in his – and leads you to his bedroom. When you enter it he closes the door more forcefully than needed and before you have time to look around he is pushing you onto the bed – your back hits the mattress and he grins – he hasn't seen this sight in over 20 years and he is enjoying every second of it. You sit up and pull him by the collar of his shirt. He is quick with it – his mouth on yours again and his hands start exploring your body – they go from your thighs up to your tummy and then higher – he squeezes your tits – you moan and his hands move higher cupping your cheeks tenderly. He pulls away and moves your hair out of your face.
“Need you so badly.” He pants – and you feel just the same. You feel him start undressing you but you want to make this last as long as possible. You push him away and he seems confused before you are pushing him on his back – your sit on his lap and you feel how hard he is under his jeans – you test the waters and grind down on him – your hands on his chest and he really wants to keep his eyes open but the feel of you on him makes him feel like he's fuckin teenager again that will bust his load into his pants any second. “Fuck, gonna make me cum before the real fun even begins and I am not young as I used to be. If that happens I will have to eat you out at least three times.” You grin and bend down to kiss his neck – your tongue leaving hot trails in its wake. He sits up with you and his hands fly to your lower back to support you. He surges forward – his tongue exploring your mouth, mapping your teeth with it and when you feel his hands trying to take your shirt off – you tug him by the hair roughly – his hips bucking up to meet yours as he moans your name brokenly.
“Slow down, baby. Want to appreciate you.” You push his chest so he will be laying again – he wants to protest but you put one of your fingers to his lips. The look he gives you is downright sinful before he is sucking it into his mouth – his teeth nipping it and you can't look away from his advances. His tongue peaks out and you feel the way he swirls it around your digit just like used to when he ate you out. You moan brokenly and put another one there and he bites into them softly. The small butterfly kisses you leave on his scar from his suicide attempt makes him drop your fingers from his mouth as he groans loudly – he feels so fucking appreciated and loved at this moment that it makes his head dizzy. “Need to see you, baby. Sit up.” He does and you unbutton his shirt slowly one by one while he kisses your jaw and your neck – sucking at it once in a while his tongue flattens out against your pulse point where he leaves a mark.
“Fuck, want you to take your shirt off too.” You don't have time to comply before he is pulling it over your head and you are not wearing any bra – the one Mariah gave you did not fit you – and he immediately reaches for them. He pinches one of your nipples while he sucks on your other one and you throw your head back – it always felt this good with him. Sex with him was easy and he was a generous lover. The only man that had ever made you cum. When pulls away he frowns when he sees the deep red scar close to your heart.
“Someone stabbed me but as you can see I am alive and well. Don't worry about it, We all have our own scars.” Your thumb slides across the one next to his temple and he nods – he is angry at himself though. Maybe if he was with you it wouldn't happen. Maybe if he'd try to look for you harder. Maybe…”Hey, Joel. You still with me?” You stroke his bicep and he nods before you peck him gently. “Strip out of these, will you? Want to suck your dick.” You pat his jeans-clad thigh and his jaw rocks forward. You sit on the bed and he makes quick work of his jeans and his boxer – his cock is bobbing with need and you open your mouth awaiting.
The first lick sends him into overdrive and he grips your hair and tries telling you to take him deeper – just a little bit deeper. You drool and the spit starts to cover his balls – it's messy and the sounds he makes sound like straight up from porn. His head is thrown back and he gets lost in the feel of you ��� your mouth – and he can't believe you are here with him. He feels his balls pull up tighter and he pulls it out quickly before he is bending down to kiss you – he doesn't register the surprised sound you make when he pushes his tongue almost all the way back down your throat.
You taste like him because you are his, his, his and the growing need he has for you makes him almost rip your new pants before he is working his fingers inside of you – the familiar wetness and tightness make him feel like he is 30 again – and you cry out. He drills into you and snarls when your nails dig into his forearm, his nose bumps against yours and he wants to kiss you but he concentrates on making you cum because he wants to be inside of you. To mark you as his. His to kiss and hiss to make you cum and his to love and his, his, his. He searches for that spot and his other hand sneaks onto your inner thigh – when he finds it – he can hear it from the high-pitched moan that you let out. He smacks you onto your inner thigh and you jump forward and try to get away from him. It's too much – his fingers, his groans and talks and his tongue that find its way into your mouth. He's too much and he can feel you are almost there – almost. He grabs your throat and his eyes watch your Adam's apple bob – his thumb putting slight pressure on it. The squelching sounds of your pussy make him double his efforts and he can feel you getting closer and closer with every pass of his fingers through your walls – your pleas echoing through the room. He knows you need more and he grins menacingly when he sees how your pussy glistens with your juices and soak his hand.
“Fuck, sweetheart look at you. Soaking me. You want to cum?” He knows you do and he is downright cruel when he slows down and you sob because you want to cum – you nod and he is not happy with that – swatting you against your inner thigh once again before repeating that question.
“Yes, yes, Joel! I want to cum, please make me cum!” You feel on a verge of tears and he kisses you softly before he continues his previous efforts – his thumb now circling your clit and it's the additional stimulation you needed. He curses when he feels you squeeing him and he works you through it – your vision goes white and all you can think about is Joel and how good he is – before you come back down and he is still working his way inside of you and suddenly its too much – you try to push him away but the hand on your thigh just grips you harder – the blunt nails of his digging into your thigh.
“Please, Joel, Too much, it's too much!” You cry out but it's like he can't hear you and he bites your lower lip, his fingers never stopping and you can feel him pulling another orgasm out of you – you can feel him grin against your mouth and murmuring “that's it, such a good girl for me, sweetheart” before you are cuming again. Your legs shake and the moans you let out die down when he puts his coated fingers of your cum in your mouth. Your eyes roll to the back of your head – he is kissing you and then telling you to “share with him” and it's so fucking nasty – a string of saliva connecting you both before he is wiping his mouth. You are sedated and when he reaches for something in his bedside table you don't really care. The sound of foil tearing makes you open your eyes and you see how he pulls the condom on his dick before he is crawling to you.
“Come on, sweetheart. You gonna ride me.” He says and you don't feel like you have that much of a choice – he is pulling you on top of him and before you know it he notches the head of his dick between your folds. You grab the base of him and slowly sink down on him – you forgot how fucking thick and big he was and you need a moment before you start moving. Your muscles are sore and your throat is dried up from all the moaning and screaming but when you look down to see Joel's blissed-out expression – you start to move slowly. He lets you ride him at your own pace – you are the one in control now and he's here only for the right. He strokes his thumbs o your sides and then opens his eyes he feels like he will come right there and then. Your tits bounce with every pass of his cock against your walls and the way your head is thrown back and your throat on full display – his fingers twitch as he has the urge to bring you by your throat and kiss you.
The leisurely pace only lasts for a while before you can feel another orgasm build inside of you – the hair on the base of his cock scratch your clit deliciously. You dig your nails into his shoulders – one of your hands grabbing his jaw when you kiss him – he lets you and his hands move from your hips to your ass – squeezing the flash in his palms. You moan when you feel one of his hands sneak toward your clit but you push him away – breaking from the kiss.
“I am the one that is now in control, Texas.” The smirk you give him makes his cock twitch and he nods – his Adam's apple bobbing when he gulps and you til his chin up as you sink your teeth gently into it. He holds onto you tighter – your pace unfaltering and he wants to cum – needs to – but not before you. His heels dig into the mattress and you pull back to stop moving as your hips start to sway in a figure of eight. It does nothing for him and he whines – whines – in protest. You tell him to “shut up” because you are so so fucking close and that's when he grits his teeth together – his patience runs thin. His hands grab the chain with his ring on it – the only thing you are wearing – and he pulls you towards him by it. The look you throw him is absolutely wrecked and when you are close to his mouth – you need to kiss him, want to taste him – he pulls his head away from you to put the ring between his teeth. That alone almost makes you cum and you can't look away from him – even when he grabs you by the flash of your ass – and start sinking you down on him. You are completely mesmerized by the ring in his mouth and before you know it you are cuming – he slaps your ass when you do and you jolt forward – the ring falling from his mouth when he tangles his tongue with yours.
He fucks you through it and he sits up – his heels planting into the mattress so he can chase his own orgasm – he puts the ring into your mouth now and if he could he would take a picture of you like this – his ring between your teeth while he fucks you silly and your gorgeous body putty in his hands. His balls slap against the meat of your thighs and he puts his forehead on your chest – you can feel the small droplets of his sweat roll down his forehead. He pants and you know he is close – his pace now frantic as he kisses your chest. His lips make their way to your throat and every pass of his cock makes your walls twitch. You feel every vein of his and the head of him pushes against your g-spot. You start meeting his thrusts – pulling him closer to your neck as the only thing he can now do is groan and whine. He can feel your quick pulse and the way your fingers tangle in his locks as you tug him by it – you are overstimulated but he doesn't want this to stop. Never wants this to stop.
“Come on, baby. Want you to cum in me,” You whine and he shakes his head – he doesn’t want to, he doesn't, he doesn't…and then he is cumming as he empties his seed into the condom. He thrusts up at you a few times as he pushes himself through the afer shocks – you can feel him twitch in you before his body goes limp and you fall on him. He strokes your shoulder blades and you listen to his slowing heartbeat – your fingers drawing little hearts on his chest. He slowly pulls out of you and grips the condom by the base of it to tie it off and he throws it into the trash can next to his bed. He pulls you closer to him and you hum – slowly drifting off to sleep exhausted and worn out.
“Love you, Joel.” You say against his neck when you kiss him there and his heart swells up at your confession. He unclasps the chain from your neck and pulls the ring on your finger as he admires it.
“Love you too, baby.” You almost don't hear him when he whispers it against your lips – but you don't need him to say it – after all Joel is a man of actions and not words. And you are perfectly fine with that.
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lovsalvatore · 1 year
Text
Anything?
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
Summary: You tell your Maestro that you would do anything to play at her orchestra world tour, you just didn't know about her ulterior motives with you.
Warnings: +18, Minors DNI! smut, nat has a penis, inexperienced reader, blowjob, gagging, cum swallowing, pet names, abuse of authority ig, hair pulling, brief mention of infidelity.
Word count: 4.9k
a/n: thinking of turning this into a series idk ✰ series masterlist, main masterlist
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It's the first time in eight months that Natasha has asked you to stay after rehearsals. And deep down you want to believe it's just so you had more time to practice the piano solo you're going to play in a few weeks, but the way she looks at you makes you have other kinds of thoughts.
You have your hands just resting on the piano keys while you wait for her to say something. You played the song she composed over and over again without missing a single note, and yet you believe that something is still bothering her. "Again." she says, looking at the pieces of sheet music in her hands.
"Natasha..." you say in a shy tone, and her gaze turns to your eyes.
"Maestro." she corrects you.
"Yeah, sorry, Maestro." you curse yourself internally for having called her by her first name, knowing that within this auditorium she does not tolerate informalities. But you're so tired, your fingers feel like they're going to fall out of your hands from so many hours playing the instrument, that all you want is to go home, your brain just isn't working properly. "Are you sure you want me to play again? I mean, I think it's already clear that I know this song by heart, I didn't even need the sheets to play it..."
"I know, but I still want you to play one more time." you don't even think about contradict her, even though your fingers are practically numb you're not crazy not to do what she asks. You feel intimidated by her presence, and you know you're not the only one to feel this way around her. Natasha is one of the best known names in the music business for being an amazing composer and conductor, and also for her reputation as a serious, busy, arrogant, and even rude person. But you don't care. Just the fact that you have the opportunity to be part of her orchestra makes all her harsh comments worthwhile. You just want to be like her, a virtuoso pianist. "Am I gonna have to repeat myself?"
You're snapped out of your thoughts and back to reality, realizing that your Maestro is staring at you seriously, just waiting for you to keep playing the piano. And you do. You play the song she composed, already imagining the tears of emotion that will fall down the audience's cheeks a few weeks from now. Your fingers — even weak — wander over the instrument's keys almost as if on automatic, again, you have played this song so many times that you can play it with your eyes closed. And you know she wants perfection, you know she wants to push you off to the extreme just to make sure you're not gonna make any mistake. And you smile internally knowing that you're successfully proving to her that you were the right choice. Any other pianist couldn't be as good as you, humbly speaking of course.
You play and play, the auditorium filled with nothing but the beautiful sounds of the notes being combined. For a moment you think how she manages to create such incredible pieces, you try to imagine how difficult it must be to compose a song. You'd give anything to have that talent, you'd do anything for people to start recognizing you as a famous pianist too. Your dream is to work in this field, even if your parents say that being a musician will only make you poor, you try to ignore them.
"Okay, that's enough." she says, after you've finally finished the piece again. She takes off her glasses, hanging them on the collar of her shirt before starting to walk towards you. You don't know exactly what time it is, but you know it's late enough that your parents must be already wondering why you're taking so long. Yes, you still live with them. "You're really talented, if you keep it up I might even consider taking you on the world tour."
You cannot process everything at once. First, she called you talented, she never, ever spoke any praise towards any of the musicians who play for her before. And second, world tour? Is this really happening? This might be the dream of any musician, to go around the world playing the instrument they love, especially if they're playing that instrument in the orchestra of one of the most famous composers of recent years. "Wait, really?" you try not to sound too excited, but it's evident in your voice how much this news has positively affected you. "Natas- Maestro this is... my god this is like a dream for me."
You see a smile forming at the corner of her lips, but it disappears just as quickly as it comes.
"It's a dream for everyone." she leans on the piano, causing some keys to emit random sounds. She's wearing a dark blue suit today, she always wears suits, yesterday you remember she was wearing a red one. Her fiery hair is normally always tied back in a bun, but this time it's loose, complementing her beauty.Her hand almost touches yours, but then you pull both of your hands into your lap, playing with your fingers. "How old are you again?"
"I-I'm nineteen."
"Nineteen." she repeats, looking you up and down. You try not to feel the tension that builds between you as silence settles in the auditorium, but you also think that this could just be you making things up in your head. Well, she is in fact a really beautiful woman. But you know that being attracted to her would be very inappropriate, so whenever you start thinking about her that way, you end up committing yourself to something else so as not to delve further into that feeling. But sometimes it's not such a bad feeling. Not that you understand much about the whole attraction thing either, you've kissed only one girl in your entire life, never been touched, so this must all be just admiration towards your Maestro. "You must be busy with college then."
"I mean, yes, but I wouldn't miss this opportunity for anything." you say without thinking straight. All you want is to get your degree in music. But the idea of ​​traveling the world doing what you love is just too exciting. You couldn't believe it when she chose you to play the most important part of her symphony this time, during the months you played for her you only played the less important parts. Maybe this is your lucky year, finally your talent can be recognized by other people. "I might just take some time off, get back to my classes after the tour."
"Oh, you're already thinking of alternatives huh?" she says with a chuckle, and you feel your cheeks flush. "I just suggested it, after all you're not the only talented pianist I know."
And all your hopes have just gone down the drain.
"But who knows, it's not something I'm going to discount either. If you play as well as you're playing at the big presentation in a few weeks, you really could be my first choice." you don't quite know what to say, but all you want is not to disappoint her.
You look down at your hands in your lap as silence returns. You wonder how amazing this opportunity would be, how it would make you finally start growing in a career that doesn't even exist yet. At the same time you want to get up and leave, because this annoyance inside you just grows, you don't know what's going on, being alone with her is messing with you and you don't even know why, but you also don't know if she wants you to play one more time or not, so you just sit there in silence.
Natasha on the other hand can't take her eyes off you. From the first time you walked through that auditorium door you caught her eyes, and since then she always managed not to stare at you for too long so as not to make her attraction to you so obvious.
But when she realized that in addition to being beautiful you were also talented, this obsession she had for you only grew, and it became harder and harder for her not to want to have you completely. So in asking you to play the piano solo, she also saw an opportunity to spend more time with her favorite student. She wanted to ask you to stay after rehearsals for weeks now, but you played the song so perfectly that there was no reason to make you stay and practice more. But today, even though you didn't miss any notes, she asked you to stay anyway. And now she won't let you go until she gets what she really wants from you.
You've never looked at her differently, so she knows you don't feel the same way about her. But she doesn't really care either. "You know." she says in her husky, deep voice, making you look up into her green eyes. "There're also other things you can do to get the spot on the world tour."
Your eyes shine when you see your hopes return, and you open a sincere smile. "I would do anything, seriously." you admit without knowing her intentions.
"Anything?" there's a malice in her tone, but you're too naive to notice. She sees a little bit of herself in you — when she was just a teenager who was discovering her passion for music — and that made her feel a connection to you. But you don't know anything about it, you don't know the way she feels about you. For you, it wouldn't make sense for a woman like her to feel the slightest bit of attraction to you.
You stare at her waiting for her to say something, one of her hands starts tapping some random keys on the piano. When her eyes are focused on her act you end up roaming yours quickly over the features of her face, how her red lips call you so much attention. You had thought about kissing her, yes, you thought of her in those ways, but then again, you always threw those thoughts away. You stare at her for so long you think she's noticed, because she looks back at you with arched eyebrows. "There is this thing, that you can do."
"Well... like I said, I'd do anything to get the spot."
She doesn't try to hide her smile this time, and you can't hide your confused expression as she pushes one of your legs to position herself directly in front of you, her body still leaning against the piano. You look up at her, and Natasha bites her bottom lip when she sees your lost puppy eyes. "I think you're really pretty, did you know that?" she brings one hand to your cheek, and you freeze as she starts to caress it. "Bet you have other kinds of talent, don't you?"
"I..." you try so hard to understand what's going on, you don't really know what she wants from you. And noticing all of your confusion only makes Natasha even more euphoric. Her thumb trails across your bottom lip, before slowly sliding inside your mouth. You don't have time to do anything when her finger presses down against your tongue, and you want to not like it all, you really do. This is wrong, but at the same time it feels so right. It is not possible that those doubts you had could be true after all, that in fact she could be attracted to you. It wouldn't make sense, right? It takes you a few seconds to turn your face away from her touch, feeling your cheek slightly wet when her thumb briefly brushes over it. "Maestro... this is... this is inappropriate."
"What?" she asks innocently. "I did nothing."
"You just..." you stare at her in disbelief, and you just don't know what to say to her. You want to get up, walk away and try to ignore this interaction you just had. But something inside you just makes you not move, it really feels like your body is glued to the seat. "I... I must go... it's late."
"It is not." she says, you know she's lying. It must be past ten o'clock, and you still have to take the subway home. But it seems like she doesn't care, and neither do you. "Come on... are you gonna tell me you don't want this?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." you play dumb, even now you already have some ideas of what her second intentions might be about. And you're enjoying it, fuck, you really are. You shouldn't, you want to not think of her having you the way she wants to, but the thought of that being wrong seems even more exciting. If you had known that she was also attracted to you, you would probably work up the courage to have done something during all these months that you've been her learner.
"That you don't want me." she slightly tilts her body, making your faces very close to each other. You don't take your eyes off hers, you can see her dilated pupils. "I thought you would do anything to get what you wanted."
"That's not what I meant."
"And what would that be exactly?" her eyes go to your lips, and you end up imitating her act. Her lips so close to yours seem even more kissable. If you just tilt her face forward a little -.
"I know what you want from me... and this... this is wrong, I would do anything but not that kind of thing."
You don't even know if you're really telling the truth right now. You know you want her the same way she wants you, not minding giving up your body in exchange for a favor.
"But I didn't even say anything, you're the one jumping to conclusions here detka." you close your eyes as she starts kissing the pulse point on your neck, lightly sucking your skin, but not enough to leave marks. You despise the fact that this is turning you on, you know she's just taking advantage of you, and you're letting her. "Let's just say this is the easiest way to get you on the world tour." she whispers. "Don't you want this? Don't you want the easy way?"
"I don't know." you say sincerely, whimpering as she turns her attention to the other side of your neck. "This is wrong, we shouldn't, we... Natasha... please..."
You bite your bottom lip hard to prevent a moan from escaping your lips as she lightly bites your neck. You feel the heat between your legs, and you think how deplorable your situation is right now. "Do you want me to stop?" she asks, tucking one of your locks behind your ear. "I can stop, but I don't think that's what you want, right?"
When you shake your head from side to side something inside Natasha changes completely. The thought of you not feeling attracted to her completely evaporates, and knowing that you want her the same way she wants you makes pure ecstasy control her senses. "Fuck..."she lowers her face to your neck again, this time sucking hard. Her tongue roams up your neck, making a tortuous trail to your earlobe. Her breathing is labored, and you get goosebumps as you realize what's about to happen.
She takes one of your hands, leading it to where she'd been wanting this whole time. You can't hide a gasp when she presses your palm against the hard bulge in her pants, and you can certainly feel how big it is. "See what you do to me? Gosh... I have to control myself so much not to be like that in front of your colleagues."
You feel ashamed for doing this, but now there's no turning back. Even if you don't have any experience you want to continue. You want to show her how good you can be at other things, you have so much admiration for her that you would let her do anything to you. Your eyes are closed as she kisses your jaw, and you wonder if she'll kiss your lips but she just pulls back slightly to unzip her pants. "Can you show me how talented you can be at other things, hm?" she asks in a gentle tone, it's like she took the words out of your thoughts. One of her hands on the back of your neck, pulling some of your baby hairs.
"I uhm..." you clear your throat, and nearly choke when she pulls her hard cock out of her boxers. She strokes it slowly in front of you, and you wonder if you'll even be able to take it. It's thick, and if you pay close attention you can even see the visible veins running through it. "I-I've never done anything... I... I'm inexperienced."
You don't know it, but by saying that you made a big mistake. Natasha knowing she's going to be your first just makes it easy for her to do whatever she wants, and she knows you won't have the courage to say no.
"It's okay, I know you're a quick learner." she guides your hand to stroke her, and reluctantly you do. You see some of her pre-cum in her tip, and feel how she gets harder with every move of yours. You have to squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the sensation in your sex, while your hand goes up and down her shaft. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, really... you don't know how many times I touched myself thinking about you."
You don't pay much attention to her revelation, all you can do is focus on your hand movements, which gets faster with each stroke. You don't even know if you're doing it right, but listening to Natasha groan makes you think that in fact you are. You never imagined that you would want to have a cock inside you, but at this very moment all you wanted was this. "Hm, just like that." she murmurs, throwing her head back as you press your thumb over her head, trying to spread some of her juices over the thick length of her cock. Your heart races when you remember that someone could walk into the auditorium at any moment and see this scene of you and your Maestro, and that makes you want to go on even more. "Oh baby... I need more of you."
You look up, feeling her grip the back of your neck, propelling your face forward. "Take it slow hm?" when your mouth touch her tip Natasha gasps in anticipation, and not wanting to take too long to make her feel good you part your lips. You start by placing a kiss on the tip of her cock, before slowly circling the end of it with your tongue. Because it's your first time giving someone a blowjob, you try to imagine it's a lollipop, it shouldn't be that hard. You gently suck on her head, closing your eyes when you can taste her on your tongue. "Looks like someone has no time to waste." Natasha smiles, both of her hands holding the hair on top of your head so it doesn't get in the way.
You just keep working your mouth around the tip of it, it's thick and long, you don't know if you can take any more than that. But for Natasha it's not enough. She wants more, she wants all of it. You're taken aback by her rough movement bringing her hips forward, forcing you to take all of her at once, without any warning. You immediately feel the pain in the back of your throat as she pulls the cock out of your mouth just as quickly as she thrusts it in. The sudden invasion makes your body freeze for a second, realizing that she's just here to use you however she wants. And you actually look forward to it.
"Aww sorry, I couldn't help myself kitty. I just want to fuck your mouth until you beg me to stop." tears form in the corner of your eyes as you get used to your now empty mouth, your hand that was previously on her length now massaging your throat in search of relief. "It's alright, I'll be gentle this time okay?"
Even though you don't believe her words, you just nod, watching her guide you back to her cock. When she enters your mouth again you expect her to start thrusting hard, but she slowly moves her hips forward so that only half of her fills your mouth. "Oh fuck, you feel so warm. Go ahead, help me out a bit with this detka, I know you can do it." you rest both your hands on her thighs for balance as your head begins to move back and forth, going as far as you can, which you now learn is not just the tip. The heat inside you only grows, as do the obscene noises of your mouth around her cock. "See? I knew you were a quick learner. I bet it won't take long for you to take all my cock in that little mouth of yours."
Your Maestro's dirty words make you feel your wetness grow, and it won't be long before you start making a mess in your own underwear. You look up seductively as you take half of her inside your mouth, even with a little labored breathing you still manage to hold on, and actually wait for her to start going deeper. "Who knew you could be such a talented little slut huh?" she pulls your hair hard, causing a pleasurable pain in your scalp that just doesn't help you think straight. "Want me to fuck your mouth? Want me to treat you like the good and talented slut you are?"
You pull your head back, letting go of her cock with one last suck on the head before saying. "Yes please." Natasha wants to laugh when she realizes how easy it was to make you totally surrendered to her.
"Oh yeah?" you nod frantically, just wanting to give her what she wants right away knowing that in the end you will be reworded. "Fuck... I'm gonna come so hard down your throat and you're gonna swallow all of it, I don't want a drop spilling out, understand?"
"Y-yes."
"Tongue out baby." you do what she asks right away. Natasha grabs her cock, bringing it to your tongue, which she grinds a few times before starting to slide all of it inside you. She holds your head still as her hips move all the way forward, and you gag when you feel the tip of it in the deepest part of your throat. She stays still for a few seconds, as if she's letting you get used to the size before she starts moving, and unlike before she doesn't wait to start fucking your mouth hard.
You try to push her away in an automatic act realizing that this was much harder than you imagined, but Natasha just ignores it and keeps pushing her cock deeper and deeper into your throat. "Oh your mouth feels so good around my cock, I bet you're soaking wet for me aren't you?." you feel like you're on cloud nine, trying to catch your breath with every thrust. Her cock is so thick that you can even feel it sliding around the corners of your lips, slightly widening them as you try to take it all in. "Can't wait to stretch out that tight pussy of yours, fuck you so hard you'll forget your own name."
She doesn't even have to do what she just said to make you forget your own name. Just the thought of having her inside you makes you forget how your brain even works. The place that was previously being filled by the sound of the piano is now flooded by the noises of your gags, tears running down your cheeks wetting your entire face along with your drool that runs down your chin. "I'm so close... keep taking it... just like the good learner you are." you don't even try to escape her merciless thrusts anymore, you just let her fuck your mouth.
She’s not gentle, not caring at all. She just wants to fuck your mouth mercilessly, see you cry and choke yourself around her dick. “You’re taking so well, are you sure this is your first time?” she asks a little surprised that you aren't complaining so much, even the tears on your cheeks proving the opposite, even the noise of your gags making it clear that it's not being easy for you. “Enjoying this aren't you little slut? Fucking your way up to the top.”
When you listen to her remind you why you are doing this, a little guilt takes over your body, not because it’s an unethical act, but because you don’t regret it.
Even though it's one of the most uncomfortable sensations you've ever felt, you still feel turned on by it. The way she uses your mouth as if you were just a doll to her. How you proved that even though it was your first time doing something like this you still managed to make her feel good. This shit really makes you soak, making you want more.
Your eyes squeeze shut as you start to feel a few drops of her cum land on your tongue, and for a moment you're relieved that it's almost over, because even though you're loving the feeling, it's also too big for you to hold on for too long. "Yeah... fuck that's it... down to the last drop don't forget." Natasha continues to fuck your mouth for some time, and you manage not to focus on the pain she causes you by pulling your hair hard as her warm loads spurt into your mouth. You choke when she comes in the back of your throat, but even though you have a hard time, she stays inside you, forcing you to do nothing but swallow every last drop. The taste of her burns down your throat, which is so sensitive it looks like she fucked it for hours "Uhum... that's it...fuck you did so well."
When she doesn't get her cock outside your mouth you start pushing her by her thighs, but she just presses your head against her even more. Your nose touches her lower stomach as you feel her cock pulsing inside your mouth, the tip of it making it hard for you to breathe. "It feels so good inside your mouth detka, it makes me want to start fucking you again." she says, and you fall into despair, knowing you won't make it one more time. Natasha lets out a dry laugh as she sees in your eyes the fear of her actually putting you through that again, and then in one swift act she finally pulls her hips back, taking out her entire length out of you. You automatically choke in your own saliva, coughing a few times to get used to the feeling of finally having your mouth empty. Your jaw hurt from keeping your mouth open so long while she fucked you, and your eyes are blurred with tears.
The Maestro just stares at you with her still hungry eyes, not believing that she really got what she wanted without having any difficulty. She didn't know you would give in so easily, she thought it would take you a while to accept it, but apparently she was very wrong. And she'll definitely use that to her advantage, knowing you're so easy to have, she won’t leave it to just one time thing, she wants more.
You watch as Natasha tucks her dick back inside her boxers before zipping up her pants, at the same time you run your hand over your face to wipe away some of the drool. You made such a mess, you can even feel some of your spit trickling down between your breasts. You want to ask her if she's really gonna give you the spot on the world tour, but you're completely oblivious — still trying to process the fact that you've just given your Maestro a blowjob — which makes it too hard for you to formulate a complete sentence. "Don't think I won't do what I said." she says, again sounding like she reads your thoughts. "I said this was the easiest way, I wasn't lying."
You want to scream, from happiness of course. You smile at her, licking your lips and getting a little taste of her that's still fixated on you. Natasha puts her glasses back on her face, pulling away from the piano and closing the fallboard to protect the keys.
"But I didn't say how many times you would have to do it to actually get the spot." she brings one hand up to your cheek, stroking your skin so gently it doesn't even feel like she was shoving her cock so hard down your throat. "I've wanted you for so long, once is not enough for me. You're gonna have to prove that you really deserve this spot... with this... I want you to stay after rehearsal tomorrow again."
With that said, she simply turns and walks away. Completely fulfilled knowing that you're going to come back here tomorrow, and give it to her again for as long as she wants it. You sit immobile on the piano bench, wondering if this was all a good idea. You thought it would only be one time, you didn't know anything about your Maestro's secret obsession with you. And as much as you liked it, you're starting to think that even though this was the easy way, maybe this wasn't the choice you should have made. God. She's old enough to be your mother, and for as long as you know, she's married. My God. What did you do.
She's using you, you know that. You know it's easy for her to have you because you're young and naive. And yet you let her take advantage of you. And you hate the fact that you deep down want that to happen again. Because you loved the attention she gave just to you, you loved realizing that you can make her feel that good. But you hated it, you really hated it because you can't wait for her to ruin you again.
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donascozylivingroom · 2 months
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LET GO OF THE STRESS AND HUSTLE TO 'GET THERE'
I was scrolling through tiktok and i found a post by someone who told me if i am comfortable in my life i shouldn't be, because i am not working on my next level. i got annoyed and skipped, two videos later: "if u want to be more comfortable..." ... skip!
i'm tired of society convincing us where we are is not ok. i either must want to be more or less comfortable, never accept my life and improve upon the life i have right now with as tiny steps as i feel i can right now.
guess what - I AM COMFORTABLE! And I love it.
I used to be a master at hustling, doing everything i can to get my million dollars and NYC Penthouse. Manifesting didn t work for me until i learned to robotically affirm and persist, and since then i am getting everything i want. And yeah I still have resistance to 2 of my only big desires, everything else i'm getting affirming 1-3 times because i assume i only need to affirm once and i get it, i repeated that for a while and ever since manifestation has been so easy.
And yeah just because i didn t get my 2 main desires yet, I AM COMFORTABLE. I understand that those things I want so much are part of my soul lessons and why my soul came here. God/Source/myself before this life decided to make some things harder than others, and that's okay.
My whole life i was either uncomfortable because i didn t get something external, or worried - why am I so comfortable?
I learned to never do anything that is not easy because my plan for this life is to FLOW, but still i was fed by the media that i am not perfect as i am, or where i am. It's not true.
Wherever you are, it's your starting place, your zero point. And if you are experiencing it, you are probably meant to be there. I mean look around u in the present moment, not to your mind. Are you okay? You're meant to be here, boo.
How can you make your life more beautiful where you are? How can you be more grateful for what is around you? What you already have.
There s no rush, you don't have to get there tomorrow. I know when you are young it seems like you have to do everything very fast, and the speed of manifestation on this planet has improved since i was a kid, everything seems to be more light and fast, BUT...
There will probably be a few more years until the speed of manifestation will be instant, especially for every single thing.
You are part of a collective, a collective consciousness, and everyone must be on board until they push the START button from above 🤭😁
We are literally on this mission together, it's not just about you, it is about the ascension of Earth and its citizens.
Don't stress! Make it your job to relax whatever happens and you will see small improvement after small improvement which will lead to an easy, chilled life that is financially supported by the Universe enough that u have time to do your affirmations, your journaling, your shadow work, etc. Make it a habit to not stress, because stress is always misaligned since it doesn t feel good.
My life currently: affirming, journaling and pinteresting most of the day while in bed...earlier i did groceries and got a lot of things i love to eat and would be considered expensive where i live. Spent 120 euro today and i am in europe. I don't work. I only manifest haha. I'm yet to be at the financial level i want (one of my two desires i'm working on) but i still live a comfortable life, a life that energetically i wish i will have once i have lots and lots of money, because the vibes are amazing. I'd rather have this warm house and bed, friendships and good vibes than a view from the last floor in NYC from my bed, while ridden with anxiety and loneliness.
Ya know.. Everything will be ok, if you struggle to affirm meditate and try your affirmations just once to check how it feels with eyes closed within your inner being..and then check more affirmations one at a time... and ask yourself, your inner being: what do i really need? what do i really want? and when you are clear, then start repeating and manifesting.
good luck!
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bellewintersroe · 7 months
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Daniel Ricciardo x HornerDaughter!
Part 12 - ahhh I am evil for making you all wait so long, I just don’t know what direction to take this story in but I’ve got some ideas 😏 the next chapter will be more interesting so pls stick about, over the summer break we’re gonna see them go public. Intentionally or unintentionally?! Who knows…
After both Daniel and her admit their true feelings to one another it comes clear what they need to do. Christian becomes suspicious of their close nature.
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“Daniel.” I whispered, my legs beginning to shake as he slowly pushed himself off me. Not before he kissed me so tenderly, so gently, it made my head spin. “You okay?” The Australian asked as a soft smile appeared on my face, I reached up, brushing back his curls that were stuck to his forehead.
“I’m good.” I borderline whispered, “me too.” Daniel nodded, the after sex bliss lasting a while as I fingered at his hair. I was in a slight shock that Daniel and I ended up like this again, of course it felt right, but it’s like we could stay away from one another.
He let out a slight sigh as he eventually pulled out of me, the feeling of his seed leaking out of me shortly after. I grimaced, having to do that awkward run to the bathroom as he laughed in amusement. “Not funny! It’s gross!” I called out before closing the door to the bathroom.
I wasn’t in there for long cleaning myself up, but I began to doubt if he wanted me to stay over. I really wanted a toothbrush if we were gonna do that, but I didn’t quite know how to ask. I didn’t have any spare change of underwear or clothes, realistically I could just run down the hall, but that was effort. I walked out, but naked, feeling his eyes trail over me as he held out a hand. “Ah, I need clothes, don’t look.” Somehow I felt more nervous now than ever before.
“We literally just had sex.” Daniel commented as I giggled, running around the bed to hide under the sheets. “Y/n.” He muttered with a chuckle.
“I know but…” I eventually answered. “I’m just shy.”
“No you are most definitely not.” Daniel rolled over, sliding a hand over my exposed breasts. “Like… in the slightest.” He was speaking gently, sounding tired as his body pulled mine closer in for a cuddle. I hummed out a gentle moan, the sheets covering my ass and below as I pressed my cold feet against his legs. Daniel let out a tired noise of discontent.
“Nice to know your feet are still freezing.”
“Always.” I nudged them closer, resting my head on his chest, feeling it rising and falling with each fired breath.
“Daniel?” I muttered after a few moments of silence. “Mmmh?”
“Do you want me to stay over?” My brain wouldn’t stay quiet unless I asked him. “Yes.” The Australian squeezed at my arm, his fingers grazing up to drag through my strands of hair.
“Okay.” I myself was growing tired. The mix of sex and alcohol (and arguing) tiring me out. “Is everything gonna be okay now?” I then gently asked. This caused Daniel’s eyes to open as I gazed back up to him nervously. I was worried a repeat of last time would happen.
“I love you so much.” The words caused my heart to swell. “I want this to work, we’re gonna be fine.” Daniel assured as I felt the knot between my brows soften when he poked at it. I leant forwards and kissed him gently. “Do you?” He then questioned, voice much quieter than before.
“Do I what?” I traced a finger over his tattoos. “You know… want this to work?”
“More than anything.” ——— “You see here, you can clearly see why it’s so different from the RB’s.” Daniel pointed out, hand resting on my upper back as we leant over to peak inside the Alpha Tauri.
“Oh yeah.” My eyes widened slightly as I stole a glanced towards him. He looked so focused as he checked out his car one last time before the summer break would begin. I was positive in between then all he’d be thinking about was driving. All the boys were like that, but nobody was more dedicated than Daniel.
“Makes it harder to drive.” He amused, whispering in my ear as I snickered back to him. “What’re you two whispering about?” My dads voice emerged. My heart jumped slightly, face warming. I never realised he would come in the Alpha Tauri garages, unless he was desperate. He eyed up between Daniel and I with a smirk.
“Just the car.” Daniel lowly spoke in amusement so nobody else would hear. “Oh yeah? Different from the RB’s?”
“Very.” Daniel amused, hand still grazing over my back. My dad walked over, assessing it slightly, of course he’d had to point out some tips on what he think would work better. I was about to get a little bored of the mechanic talk before he turned back to me.
“Anyway, I’m getting carried away. I was needing a favour, from you. My lovely daughter.” “Oh no.” I teased. “Would you be able to help Monty with some homework? It won’t take long, he’s struggling and his tutors not around.”
Cock blocked by my younger brother, great.
“I mean I can try. I don’t know how good I’d be at… Year 1 homework. Hasn’t he finished for summer yet?” “Nearly, anyway I’ll see you later, Daniel. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you over the break.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you soon.” Daniel politely smiled as I offered him one for myself. “See you, Daniel.” Before we headed off.
When we were out of the building, I just knew my dad would bring it up. I could feel the tension in the air. “So.” Oh here we go…
“You and Daniel seemed close.”
“Close? He was just showing me the car.” I shrugged, feeling my face warm at the topic of conversation. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed, I just felt a little shy talking about it with my own father.
“But you seem closer than close.”
“Do we?” I breathlessly asked, a smile growing on my face as an accidental bubble of laughter escaped my mouth.
“You must think I’m stupid, you kids. Are you together then? Is that what it?”
“Dad- no.” I swatted, attempting to move on from that particular topic. “Because Daniel’s a great guy, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.” He shrugged, going on a ramble. “Little bit of an age gap, though, wouldn’t you say Y/N/N?”
There was no point denying it. I didn’t know how he was so adamant about it, but I figured once I’d told him, everybody else was a breeze in the park to tell.
“Yeah.” I shrugged, holding my shoulders up awkwardly. “Well as long as you’re both okay with that.”
“Yeah it’s… fine.” I laughed, “alright, well… wow I didn’t expect you to be with Daniel, thought you always hated drivers for your boyfriends.”
“Ah, he’s not my boyfriend, and I said that when I was 8.”
“Same thing…” As we walked into the Red Bull garages where I figured my brother was, Max was stood there, smirking back to me with a knowing look. I suddenly put two and two together knowing he could hear exactly what we were talking about and did a double take at him. Had Max told my dad? You wouldn’t think Verstappen had a loud mouth, but he did. I squinted, sticking my middle finger up at the Dutch man as he laughed out loud. “What does that mean?” Monty suddenly appeared, the six year old staring up to my gesture. My eyes widened, dropping my hand. “Ah well done y/n, means nothing Monty, not for you to know.” Oops…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @dinodumbass @mccall-muffin @allabouthappiness @benbarneslut @ricciardhoe-3 @headinthecloudssblog @f1wintermoon13 @hrlzy @topguncultleader @victoriaholland
thank you guys for all your support, sorry for such a long waiting time, and I promise next chapter will have a bit more excitement too it! <;3
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callme-holly · 2 months
Note
YES ANOTHER PLATONIC WRITER WOOHOO could we get smth with Dallas and sibling!reader after sibling gets jumped?
𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 [𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]
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𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - i actually really like this one which is a first for me. to those who have sent in requests, i am working on them I swear!!
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 1.2k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - talk of getting jumped, slight injury detail (not graphic), mild swearing
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Your clothes stick uncomfortably to your skin, either with rainwater or blood; you’re not too sure which. You’re drenched to the bone and shivering, your hair hanging limply around your face in wet strands as you stand awkwardly outside of Buck's Thunderbird, the car parked carelessly against the curb. 
The window of the car rolls down slowly, revealing a very tired-looking Dallas. His brow furrows as he stares at you with what can only be described as a look of pure frustration and perhaps a hint of concern. You try not to wince at the sight as you shuffle nervously, listening to the long, drawn- out sigh that escapes him upon looking at you. 
“Just get in, damn it.” His voice is rough, leaving no room for argument as you limp around to the passenger’s side, your wet sneakers slipping on the slick surface of the pavement as you go. It's warmer inside the vehicle, although not by much, as you slip into the seat next to your brother, letting out a quiet breath of relief as the door shuts behind you. You feel his eyes boring holes through your back and grimace as he continues to stare intently at you.
“You alright?” He asks eventually, his eyebrows knitting together with concern.
“Yeah.” The word feels hollow to your own ears, and you pull up the collar of your shirt in an attempt to hide the cut across your throat. Your ribs ache, and your knuckles are split. They should have known you wouldn't go down without a fight.
Dallas lets out another sigh before reaching over and grabbing a spare jacket from behind the backseat, thrusting it towards your chest. “Here, take this.” His tone is sharp. “You’ll freeze to death before we even get back.” 
 You take the proffered object without comment, slipping it over your shoulders and quickly tugging it close. The rough material is dry and smells strongly of smoke, but then again almost everything that you and your brother own does. It's nothing new. 
You open your mouth to speak, but the words die unspoken. Your brother turns to gaze out at the empty road, his jaw set. 
“What the hell were you thinkin’? Walkin’ out here alone.” His voice shakes slightly. “It ain’t safe, you know that.” His grip on the steering wheel tightens, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him. 
“I didn’t think they’d follow me all the way out here.” You mumble defensively, knowing full well how ridiculous the statement sounded. Of course they'd followed you; why wouldn't they? You'd insulted them in front of everyone at the drive-in, made them the laughing stock of the evening, and then you had walked right back out onto the streets alone and unprotected. 
Dallas glares out the window, his eyes unfocused and dark. 
“They could’ve killed you.” He states his tone flat as he turns his head just enough so that his eyes meet yours. “Do you realise that? They would have finished you off right then and there.” You don’t respond, and he doesn’t look away. You can sense the raw emotion behind his words: fear, anger, and guilt, all mixed together into one unending wave. 
“They would've killed you,” he repeats, quieter than before. “Did you really think they weren't gonna come after you?”
“I thought I could deal with them myself,” you say softly. Your hands clutch tighter at the fabric of the jacket. You feel so small and helpless under his scrutiny. “There weren't that many of them to begin with.” You trail off lamely, feeling tears prick at your eyes despite your attempts to hold them back. “I’m sorry…”
“Don't fucking apologize!” Dallas yells, slamming his hand on the dashboard and startling you. He takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and rubbing his temple in agitation. “Sorry,” he mutters in a low voice, “It just—fuck. I’m sorry, okay?” He looks over, and when his gaze locks with yours, his expression softens fractionally. There's a relatively large cut across your cheek; blood is still staining your skin; and there's a nasty bruise blossoming across your left eye, courtesy of an elbow to the face.
“They really did a number on ya, huh.” Dallas sighs and reaches over to turn your head, inspecting  the damage.
You hum, a small smile playing at your lips as your gaze flicks towards the dashboard of the car, watching the wipers scrape steadily along the glass. “Shoulda seen what I did to them.” 
Dallas scoffs and pulls back, starting the car. 
“Oh, I bet you really put 'em to shame.” He pulls away from the curb, shooting a quick glance in your direction and frowning. “Hey, put your damn seatbelt on, man.” 
You roll your eyes. “Jeez, calm down, ma,” you mumble under your breath as you snap the belt in place, ignoring the way the motion jostles your sore shoulder. 
The radio crackles quietly, and you reach for the handle, twisting the dial until you find some decent music. The sound fills the silence, and you relax into the leather seat as Dallas starts down the street, albeit a little faster than the speed limit probably allows. 
“So…” Dallas drawls, drumming his fingers idly on the steering wheel. “Why'd they jump you?”
You shrug, staring listlessly out of the window. “Dunno. They pissed me off, and I said some shit.”
“Some shit,” he echoes mockingly, smirking. “What else did you do?”
“What?” You frown and glance over at him questioningly.
“What else did you do, kid. I know for a fact you didn't just mouth 'em off.”  The corners of his mouth quirk into a smirk.
You hesitate, biting your lip before answering, “I threw my drink at one of them.”
Dallas nods, seemingly unfazed by your behaviour, the smile not leaving his lips. “And?” 
“...and then I punched him.” You look down, kicking your feet absently as you continue to speak. “He deserved it though.”
“I don't doubt it.” Dallas says gruffly, his expression growing sombre. It seems he has something else he wants to say—something he hasn't quite managed to put into words yet.
After a moment's hesitation, he clears his throat. 
“I'm, uh, glad you're alright.” He pauses, clearing his throat again and glancing hesitantly over at you. “I don't know what I would've done if they'd...” He trails off, not bothering to finish his sentence. The implication is clear: if they had killed you, he would be lost. “You're all I've got left, man.” The words seem to choke him, and he coughs roughly to hide the bubbling emotions. He looks away suddenly, focusing solely on driving.
You swallow thickly, feeling the pain of your bruised ribs flare anew, and the cold seeps in through your clothes once more, causing you to shiver slightly. 
“I know…” The guilt in your tone is unmistakable, and you have no doubt that the second you're in the safety of the Curtis House and taken care of, your brother will go and pick a fight with the guys who'd jumped you. And even though the prospect isn't appealing, you can't change him; that's just how he is. But you wouldn't want him to change anyway, you suppose, because then he wouldn’t be Dallas Winston. You don't want to think about him fighting anyone or the trouble he might get into because of it; it's enough to know he's alive. And so are you. 
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𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!
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hsyvers · 10 months
Note
IM IN LOVE WITH SPIDER-JEN you dont even understand 🥰😝😻 but im craving some angst... can you write yn getting attacked by one of yunjins enemies and she doesnt get there in time? my heart hurts just by requesting this 🤧
for you, i'd bleed myself dry - spiderwoman!h.yj x reader
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WARNING(S); vague descriptions of death
NOTES; 1k. i hate writing angst so so much but when someone requests i'll try my best to deliver so 😭 yk atsv and like the thing abt canon events....and the last gwenter scene in tasm 2....yeah....im kinda denying that it's a pt.2 to my spiderwoman yunjin fic bc im delulu <3
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"hey!" yunjin yells, her heart hammering in her chest, "y/n! i need to hear you!"
"i'm okay!" you respond shakily, standing on a tiny ledge that oversaw the whole hollow clocktower, except for a bunch of gears moving. the fall would still be able to kill, "focus on your fight!"
yunjin lets out a relieved sigh, wincing at the action. her ribs hurt the more she breathes, her vision getting blurry the more she evades her enemy's attacks.
how much has technology advanced anyway? with all the guys yunjin has had to deal with, especially the last few months, it felt like every terrible person was trying to be on par with spiderwoman.
that's how you all ended up on top of this fucking clocktower anyway. if it weren't for her insisting to give you a quick kiss, he might have thought you were just a normal civilian.
'fucking idiot,' she thinks to herself, forcing her limbs to move. once she feels her foot connect with his face, she dives down to get you.
"hold on tight," she orders, with you nodding quickly. she webs something sturdy above the both of you, but just as she pulls up, the criminal cuts it off.
all yunjin can hear is your gasp and his sickening laugh.
she grabs you with a web and sends another one to hold her up.
he seems bored of repeating the same action, jumping down to challenge yunjin to take him on again.
you see the white eyes of her mask focusing on you, and at this moment, it hurts to think of how much she loves you.
when he tries to grasp her arm, you shout a warning, and yunjin manages to kick him off again, her arm swinging to throw a punch before she holds herself up again.
then the gears meet, and your web snaps.
it happens so quickly, that, you wonder if you even screamed.
yunjin doesn't either. she just jumps.
lower, and lower, and lower.
a string chases your chest.
you hear a crack, and you feel yunjin's arms envelop you.
and you're grateful that that's the last thing you feel.
"please, please, please, oh fuck," yunjin pulls off her mask, tears streaming down her cheeks when she falls to the floor, cradling you, "please, babe, no. don't do this."
she leans her ear to your chest, and she has the urge to die herself when she hears nothing.
"honey, no, please," she begs softly, her chest wrecking with sobs when she presses a lingering kiss to your temple.
"get up, okay? tell me you're alright. scold me for being late to practice. yell at me for dropping you!"
it aches. it aches how alive you looked and how dead you felt.
"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry," she chants, holding you closer as she cries, "it's all my fault. i should've-...i..."
"you look so tired," you whisper, one late night.
yunjin had come home around 3 am, and she's sitting tiredly on your bed, nuzzling her face onto your chest as you stood and held her.
"everything...hurts."
you pull her mask off, expression souring when you see a cut on her lip and eyebrow.
"one day, i'll kill the people who hurt you like this," you declare quietly, after patching her up, like you always have, and you always will.
"no need," she whispers, burying her face in your hair when you lay on the bed, "i'll handle them and you handle me, okay?"
you giggle, and nod in approval, taking her hand to press gentle kisses on her battered knuckles, "i'll take care of you."
and yunjin is surprised at how much she yearns. even when you're around. and painfully more so when you're not.
"it's rotten work."
"not to me. not if it's you."
she remembers falling asleep to your voice.
she never regretted touching you, kissing you, telling you how she loved you, every single day. she never forgot your lips on her own, her cheeks, and her scars.
maybe that's why it was so utterly devastating.
because she never felt that strongly about anyone, or anything. she was the city's protector while you were hers.
she crumbles completely, and she sits there for hours.
the police can arrive, blame everything on her, arrest her, she didn't care.
the only reason why she tears herself away from your body, was so you could be buried properly. she feels as though she can't speak, her eyes red and dull when she left you.
she doesn't come out of her room for days. everyone seems to notice spiderwoman's absence. her friends try to get to her, but she refuses to respond.
she finally shows her face at your funeral, and when they ask why she did, she merely says it's all for you.
and also, she thinks, because you saved her. again, even after death. you did have a way with words, after all.
to my soulmate,
i know you warned me before we started dating, about how i might be in as much danger as you are.
if you found this, it's because you were right, and for whatever reason, i can't be with you right now.
i just want to say that i don't regret kissing you that one night after you saved me, and i certainly wouldn't take back all the love i have given you and my experiences of you giving all you have left in you to me.
in fact, i'd do it all over again, and even now, i love you, i love you, i love you.
you got this! you can pull through it. you're the strongest person i know. and don't forget to lean on our friends if you need them. i know you'll be in good hands.
i took care of you for as long as i could, and you protected me to the best of your ability. i know, because i trust you.
so please, continue to smile and laugh for me, i'll be watching from wherever i am, so don't you dare forget it!
yours forever,
the love of your life (your words, not mine, babe)
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milaisreading · 7 months
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Limited amount!!
🌱🩷: here is something for thr Crossdresser!Yn AU. I have been so depressed ever since I saw the leaks for the new JJK chapter... this is kind of helping me to get my mind off of it. Hope u like it🩷
Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.
⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️
"Are you...are you sure about this?" Anri asked the striker in front of her while Ego sat on his chair, eating his noodles.
"I think it's for the best, Teieri-san. To not waste money on manufacturing something that won't sell well." (Y/n) argued, confused as to why the older woman was so reluctant with agreeing. After all, the JFU would probably embrace the idea of saving money.
"Yeah, but... just 15? (Y/n), you know you do have fans-"
"I think that's for the best. I definitely don't have Isagi or Rin's popularity,  so I don't think my figurine will sell well. Please spare me this humiliation, Teieri-san, Ego-san. " (Y/n) explained as she held the prototype of her figurine that Anri gave her. It was nothing special, just a smaller version of her smiling in the Blue Lock uniform. There was a short silence as the striker looked at the two for a moment, hoping they will do her this one favor.
"I can't just-"
"Fine." Ego interrupted Anri, both now looking at the man.
"You did prove to be a great player and so far hid your identity very well. So we will grant you this one wish." Ego said as he finished his food. (Y/n) looked at him in shock for a moment, but then smiled and bowed.
"Thank you. Thank you, Ego-san." She kept repeating to the man, who just nodded his head. Anri looked nervously between the duo, wondering how all of this will end up.
"It's so weird seeing merch of myself." (Y/n) mumbled to herself as she walked to the bedroom she shared with Isagi, Rin, and Bachira. She chuckled a little, already knowing she will be greeted by Rin doing his usual yoga, and Isagi and Bachira messing around. And sure enough, when she opened the door she saw just that. Bachira and Isagi were telling jokes while Rin tried to hide his irritation while doing his normal yoga routine.
"(Y/n)! Where were you?! I need my hug buddy!" Bachira exclaimed as he saw the girl enter their room and lunged at her.
"Bachira, wait!" She shrieked as the boy ran to and engulfed her into a hug, nearly causing the girl to fall down. The girl stumbled back, but thankfully grabbed onto a wall to not injure himself or something.
'Bachira might not look like much, but God is he strong.'
"Hey, Bachira, could you maybe let go of me?" (Y/n) asked nervously.
"Nope~" The bicolored boy sang out, causing her the sigh and pat him on his back a few times. Meanwhile, Rin and Isagi were sending death glares at Bachira's back. Both were mad that he was the one to hug (Y/n) first, but also for causing her to nearly fall down.
"Bachira, let go of him." Isagi spoke up finally and went to grab Bachira's shirt, pulling the boy away from (Y/n).
"Hey!" The boy protested.
(Y/n) internally thanked Isagi for giving her the free space back.
"I will hug you later, Bachira. I am just really tired right now." She spoke up, trying to stop their argument, but neither was listening.
Rin, on the other hand, was staring at the trio in anger. Not only were they causing him a ruckus, but (Y/n) also said she will hug Bachira later.
'That mediocre player really doesn't deserve it.' He rolled his eyes, but then they landed on a small item on the floor. One he never saw before in his life.
Rin walked over and picked it up, only to discover that it was a small figurine of (Y/n).
When Bachira hugged her, she ended up losing her grip on the item, and neither her or the other two noticed it.
'What is this? And why does it look like (Y/n)?' Rin wondered, tapping the smiling figurines cheek.
'I basically touched his face now.' Rin thought with a blush, then looked over at the trio.
"Lukewarm, (Y/n)." He cleared his throat as the trio looked at him.
"Yes?" She asked as the other two sent Rin a glare for calling her a lukewarm.
"What is this?" He asked while showing them the figurine. Isagi and Bachira's eyes widened when they saw the item.
'A mini (Y/n)!' Bachira thought with stars in his eyes.
'So adorable!' Isagi's face turned redder.
"Oh... the JFU wants to test a first merch launch, and they picked me for it. It's just a prototype of what it will look like." (Y/n) explained, walking over to Rin and taking it our of his hand.
"Merch?! Of you?!" Bachira asked in excitement.
"Yeah... it's launching in two weeks." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders, walking over to her shelf to put the item on it.
"So we- I mean, your fans will have the chance to own a mini you?!" Isagi asked with a huge smile and blush as (Y/n) turned to look at him.
"Basically."
Rin kept quiet as he stared at the figurine with wide eyes, also excited over these news.
'I will definitely buy one.' The three thought in determination.
"Tho, I was honored to be the first one, it would have been better if they picked a more popular player. I don't think mine will sell well, so I asked them to make only 15 of these." (Y/n) finished explaining, and the last part definitely left them deflated. 'ONLY 15?! How can I get one even?!' Bachira thought, already panicking that be won't be able to get his hands on one of the figurines.
'(Y/n), why would you do that?! How will I get my hands on one, when I have to fight against both your fangirls and the other players?!' Isagi gulped as anxiety took over his body.
'This lukewarm needs to work on his confidence, now I will have to start a blood bath.' Rin groaned.
"A-are you 3 alright?" (Y/n)'s worried voice interrupted their thoughts, and all 3 quickly nodded their heads.
"Of course we are!"
"Only 15?!" Reo and Barou exclaimed in disbelief as the trio explained the whole story from last night.
"What sort of confidence does he even have? Nagi, Reo, this is your fault." Otoya grumbled, earning side-glares from the two.
"How is this our fault? We didn't do anything." Nagi protested.
"Exactly that!" Yukimiya said, fixing his glasses.
"If you were good friends to (Y/n), you would have noticed he was in distress with his self-worth. Now, with me he would have not had these issues. I would have told (Y/n) everyday how wonderful and talented he is." The model said proudly, earning a scowl from Reo.
"Please shut up, show off. You are just mad (Y/n) doesn't like you."
"But Yukimiya does have a point." Karasu chimed in, glaring at Reo.
"Didn't you two basically abandon him during the 1st selection? Even during the 2nd one, Nagi, you basically acted like he didn't exist."
Barou pointed it out, which irritated the duo.
"You know nothing." Nagi said, glaring at the red-eyed boy.
"This is not the point now." Aryu clapped his hands, causing the rest to look at him.
"Aryu is right, we should focus on what's important." Kunigami added in.
"And that is, how do we get one of those figurines when there is only 15?"
The room fell silent as neither really knew how to answer that.
"Maybe we could try convincing (Y/n) that he should go for more figurines? Isagi, Barou, you two are the closest to him. Maybe you should try it." Kurona suggested as everyone looked at the duo. Both of them looked at each other, and then shook their heads.
"I don't think we should do that. It's his decision and I don't want him to feel bad about it." Isagi answered, Barou for the first time agreeing with something.
"Yeah... forcing him or convincing him will do us all more harm than good." Hiori added in.
"Well then, it's every man for himself. I will get my hand on one of those figurines." Karasu declared with a smirk.
"Not if I do first!" Bachira challenged back.
"Logically thinking, it's more likely that only one of us gets one... (Y/n) has many fans, so we are not competing just among each other anymore." Niko reminded them.
"Well, then I will be the one to get it." Rin said after a short pause, causing the rest to look at him weirdly.
"Now, why would you be the to get it?!" Otoya questioned.
"Because, I am the best one in this facility, therefore I deserve it more."
"Just because you are the best one, doesn't mean you deserve a figurine, Rin-chan~" Bachira said cheerfully.
"What?" Rin asked, irritated by the boy's remark.
"Bachira is right, if anything, someone who is close to (Y/n) should get the figurine. And that someone is me!" Chigiri finally spoke up, shocking everyone.
"What?! How are you the closest one with him?" Yukimiya remarked.
"We both braid each other's hair and talk for hours about the most random things-"
"So do I with (Y/n)." Aryu chimed in, which caused Chigiri to glare at him instead.
"Shut it. (Y/n) and I have spent so many hours training, we are the closest." Otoya added in, which drew Tokimitsu and Kunigami's attention.
"H-He does the same thing with me! Wh-which means I am pretty close with him, too!" Tokimitsu exclaimed.
"He is always there to help me with his skills, and even trains with me in the gym." Kunigami chimed in, causing a whole separate argument between them.
"This is ridiculous!" Reo sighed loudly, then pointed at himself and Nagi.
"Nagi and u have known (Y/n) for way longer than any of you have. We know everything there is to know about him."
This caused Barou and Isagi to roll their eyes.
"Yeah, and he trust us the most. He would be probably more happy for us to have a figurine than you guys-"
"Nagi, you and Reo literally turned your backs on him back in the beginning of this project. You have no leg to stand on." Isagi interrupted the albino, which made the duo tense up a little.
"And we apologized! He would vouch for us now!" Reo added in.
"None of you really deserve the figurine." Barou finally spoke up.
"(Y/n) and I have been partners since the beginning, we are the closest here. Especially after all the late night trainings." The king explained.
"But, you forget that (Y/n) has been chasing after me the whole time. Even during the 3rd selection, he always asked to train with me." Isagi added in proudly, drawing Rin's attention on him.
"Oh please. (Y/n) is probably too nice to tell you that you got boring. Why would the literal #2 of this facility go and seek out your assistance. I am the perfect choice. We especially got close during the 2nd selection when we would have dinner together after practice." The younger Itoshi explained, obviously mad that Isagi reminded him that (Y/n) always chased after him, never after Rin. The #1 player in Blue Lock.
"This is stupid. (Y/n) and I are obviously closer, our humor and passion to become better obviously bonds us the best." Karasu snorted.
"Karasu, no offense, but it's obvious that (Y/n) and I are closer. After all, he would come to talk to me about fashion choices."
As they argued, Hiori, who was standing next to Niko, spoke up as well.
"Now, I would be worthy of the doll too. After all, (Y/n) and I share similar homes, and we talk for hours about different video games."
"(Y/n) likes talking to me a out different sea animals. Even helps me with my braid sometimes. It's very nice of him." Kurona added in with a slight blush.
"Well, (Y/n) and I share a love for anime and manga. We would sometimes go to the monitor room and watch different animes on our phones. We even fell asleep there a few times." Niko admitted.
"So you are the reason he sometimes isn't in bed?!" Bachira yelled with a menacing smile.
"Niko, do you know how many nights I couldn't cuddle up to him while he slept?!"
"Bachira, that's weird!"
"What even-"
Hiori and Kurona said, staring at the bicolored boy. While everyone wad busy arguing, Gagamaru blinked at them a few times before walking out of the dining hall, an idea already brewing in his brain.
"Hmmm..."
2 weeks had passed, and the day of the merch launch finally happened. All the boys were anxiously waiting on their phones for the orders to start. They were all determined to get one of the figurines. They were so adorable, and captured the beauty of the striker perfectly. And finally, when the minute of the launch arrived, they quickly went to click on the 'order' option, only for them to be met with the most soul crushing sign.
'Sold out!' Read in big, red letters as if to mock the boys about their fail.
They expected something like this to happen, but it hurt the same.
Right now, they were all in the dining hall again, all depressed over losing the opportunity to get the (Y/n) figurine.
"I hate today." Reo said, resting his head on the table.
"I agree." Karasu and a few others nodded their heads as the door opened.
"Huh? Are you guys alright?" (Y/n)'s voice caused them to jump up and look at her.
"F-fine!" Isagi spoke up.
"We are great, just tired. And you? You seem pretty happy?" Karasu spoke up, noticing how less tense she was now.
"Oh? Ego-san just told me that the figurines of me sold out today, and they will do a relaunch in a month."
"Relaunch?! How many will it be this time?" Bachira asked as all eyes were on her.
"I don't know... maybe like 300 to 500, based on what Ego-san said." (Y/n)'s explanation caused them to sigh in relief a little. Finally they will have the chance to own one of those figurines.
"By the way, here, Gagamaru. As promised!" (Y/n) said, walking over to the goalkeeper, putting the prototype of her figurine on the table. The boy nodded quickly and slid his dinner to her as she sat across from him.
"Uhm... why are you giving Gagamaru that figurine?" Chigiri wondered.
"Oh? He promised to give me his dinner for a month in exchange for the figurine. His dinner happens to be my favorite dish!" (Y/n) explained cheerfully and went back to eating. She didn't register to cold looks and deathly glares Gagamaru was getting, but the boy didn't care. He just sat on his chair, smiling fondly at the figurine.
'Bastard!'
'That should have been me!!'
The group thought over and over, now hoping that the relaunch will happen as soon as possible.
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zerogutzz · 8 months
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yeah im going all in
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Bunch of insane lore rambles under the cut LMFAO
During the GOLB invasion, the veil between worlds became it's THINNEST. The world Max came from already had dimensional rift problems, it's the very things she was set out to study along with whatever happened to come out of them.
As we all know, Sadness attracts Madness, never did Max think that a rift would pull her in. A good 12-15 years is where she ended up getting spat back out after GOLB fused with Betty and fucked off.
She was lost for 3 months. Zero human contact. Only dangers and monsters and the occasional talking animal to point her to the human city.
She DOES eventually end up making it, stumbling on to the small ferry and falling flat in to the city. These citizens were humans, yes, but Golb knows that these aren't the same humans she's used to. They're all strange, wear strange clothes, and say strange phrases she only barely understands. You can imagine the wave of astonishment and relief she felt coming up on a giant sign that read "20TH CENTURY MAN IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT"
She's from the 22nd century, but goddamn if it wasn't close enough.
Following the curious crowd, an older gentleman stood in a dollhouse-like enclosure that mimicked that of an old fashioned home, decorated in familiar items and décor. The future-humans took their turns asking very.. Dumb. Questions. Most of the time repeating the same one in different ways. For some reason they're very focused on the different lamps. It was increasingly obvious that the gentleman acting as the 20th century man was just about ready to lose it if another comment was made about how light 'bulbs' are supposed to be pronounced light 'balls.'
"Excuse me." Max spoke up over the crowd. Simon glanced over at her from between his pinched nose bridge, pausing. It looked almost as if his shoulders relaxed. The way Max presented herself was something he hasn't seen in a very, very, very long time. Familiar clothes, cadence, and energy. "Could I talk to you, um, whenever you're done touring your.. Museum." Max asked. She was trying her very best not to make it sound urgent, despite the desperation she felt in her chest. "Oh, no, yes of course." Simon stumbled over his answer, nodding quickly. "We could talk now, if you'd like. It wouldn't hurt to close early."
The other people in group either huffed, rolled their eyes, or wandered off at the suggestion. Simon rubbed at the back of his neck, motioning Max to come inside. "Walls down." There was brief confusion, but it subsided as soon as the walls to the enclosure closed down like garage doors. Simon sighed heavily, turning to the new face in town with a tired smile. "What was it that you wanted to talk about, miss..?"
"Maxine Stronghold." Habit took over, flashing her detective badge and pocketing it in a single motion. That put the man on edge, his smile faltering. "Ah, you're not in trouble. That.. Sorry. Old habit. I was actually just here to ask if you actually were from the 20th century?" He perked back up. "Wha, why, yes. Are you not familiar with- Oh, my goodness I never actually introduced myself." Max's thick brow quirked up at him, his hand extending to her form. "Simon Petrikov. I, ah, used to be the Ice King. Difficult to imagine, I know, but rest assured-"
The increasingly confused look on the woman's face brought him to a stop. "... Sorry, did I say something wrong?"
"No." She answered slowly. "I just .. Um. I don't know where I am. Or how I got here. Or how there are wizards and talking food. I haven't had any genuine human contact in months. I was kind of hoping you'd be able to help me."
A moment of silence befell the two of them. A growing realization creeped on to Simon's face, putting his hand over his mouth and mumbling, "Oh my God." before putting a hand on her shoulder to have her sit down.
"Tell me everything."
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quillfulwhimsyverse · 2 months
Text
The Act of Faking
Word count: 7,2k
Summary: George is not talking to Fred, and the only way Fred thinks this can be salvageable by faking a relationship with you. Or when you hear his request - faking him having feelings for you.
Warnings: Angst towards the end.
A/N: I am literally going to kill myself. I had a plan for this to be the perfect slowed paced slow burn, were relationship builds slowly and beautifully but then I just ran out of ideas and this is what happened. And to remind you - English is not my first language so most of the times I just stared at the page trying to come up with different descriptions rather than using the ones everybody knows by heart. So I am sorry. Please enjoy.
P.S I am very sad that I found out about the "5 Acts of Play " stature at the end of writing this one-shot. I could've used it to make the story more interesting. But oh fucking well… _______________________________
One thing that everybody in Hogwarts knew, - the Weasley twins were always together. One never went anywhere without another. They also never had any serious arguments, only slight disagreements that seemed to be forgotten pretty soon after.  
That was why you currently frowned looking at the door. Fred came into the Great Hall looking tired, confused and disappointed to say the least. You closed your book, your interest peaking. He only looked like that when he'd gotten himself into detention that overlaps with Quidditch practice. 
‘So what happened to you?’ you asked as Fred moved to sit in front of you at the Gryffindor table. He looked really upset. ‘Prank gone wrong?’
‘No, I wish tho.’ He sighed. ‘It’s George. I haven’t had a single conversation with him for what seems like days.’ 
‘You never fight.’ you mentioned, as Fred was taking a gulp of juice from your glass. 
"We haven’t gotten into a fight, Y/N, he just dumbly avoids me. When I try to talk to him, he mumbles something about guilt trips and at the next moment he’s gone.’ He started fidgeting with his wand. 
‘How come? Why would he “guilt trip”?’
“Well our dear best friend, Geroge,” Fred mumbled irritably, for a moment you thought he might snap, “had gotten himself a girlfriend, bet you didn’t know that, right?” you only nodded. “Well apparently nobody knew, including me.”
“Yeah…” you bit your lip. “I still don’t see what the problem is.”
“I will tell you what the problem is… The problem is that I accidentally caught him snogging Angelina off in the Quidditch pitch.” You looked at him trying not to show too much emotion. “That wanker wanted to keep it a secret, because he thought I might get hurt.”
“Well, I kinda understand why he kept it a secret.” You waited for his reaction, but he only looked at you blankly, waiting for you to continue. “Weren’t you, like, in love with her a couple of years ago?”
“Yeah, so?” he shook his head. “ I was, that’s the point, Y/N. Was. I am not. Not anymore. I wouldn’t care if they got married tomorrow.” He rested his head in his hands, slowly massaging his forehead. 
“Have you told him this?” 
“Yeah… Like a dozen bloody times. He doesn’t believe me, though. Says “I am only saying this to make him feel better.” How many times, do ya reckon, I would have to repeat this to make him believe it?”  
“Hmmm..” you thought for a second. “Just give him a bit of time, maybe that will solve something?” you suggested. 
“Just give him time…” he repeated your words to you. “How do you assume I should do that? With the Christmas holiday upcoming? Although, I think he would rather spend the whole time with the gnomes instead of me in the same room.” 
You stayed silent for a moment. Now that you have thought about it, you haven’t seen George for a couple of days too. 
“But.” Fred lifted his eyebrows and took a deep breath.” I have a little plan.” He quickly reached for his bag and pulled a letter out of it. “ This morning I got a letter from my mother, about my bad behavior in class and yada yada yada, but she did mention inviting you to stay over during holidays. And this, dear Y/N, sparked a thought in me.” 
You shifted uncomfortably on the bench. 
“You and I,” he pointed towards you and then towards himself. “We are going to fake being in a relationship. Over your stay at The Burrow.”
“Fred.” you snapped quickly. “You’re crazy.” 
“Why? I mean, it’s a good plan. Angelina will be going home during holidays, and George will be forced to be with his family instead, and we’re going to pull a little show for him, just enough, so he would drop this stupid avoidance game he is playing.” 
You frowned at your best friend. 
“You have a perfect opportunity to talk to him during the holidays and you want to spend it playing a pretend game?” you ask him as he nods. “Yeah, well there is a slight problem in your plan. We have never ever acted romantically towards each other, and George isn’t so stupid, he won’t believe it. He spent so much time with both of us together, so he will notice that there’s just no spark, or whatever.” 
“That is exactly where you are going to help me,” he stated. “Your mother is muggle, right? You mentioned once that she is really into those romantic books muggle people read? What do you call them? Noveelies?” 
“Novels, Fred.” 
“Yeah, whatever, not the point. You said you were into them when you were younger. So what I’m trying to say is that you will help me put this act together, so it looks convincing.”
You look agape at him. 
“You’ve thought this through, haven’t you?”
“I had too much time on my hands with my brother successfully avoiding me, I’ve even opened the Transfiguration book a couple of times out of boredom. Closed it pretty soon after, it was even more boring than doing absolutely nothing.” 
“Still, Fred, no. It’s your whole family that will notice this as well and I don’t want to lie to Molly. And anyways, how would explain the sudden break up after the Holidays. And… Oh my god… Ron and Ginny will literally tease me to death. This is a really stupid plan, Fred, no one is going to believe it anyway. Just think of something else, I dunno, talk to Angie and make her help you out or something.”
“How am I supposed to talk to Angelina when she is almost always with George nowadays? I knew you would think the plan is stupid, but look - you are my best friend, right? I know you inside out, it would be much easier to pretend we’re in love.”
You look skeptically at him. You wanted to help him, you really did, but this plan was bound to fail one way or another. You very well knew how he flirts and acts with other girls, the last thing you wanted - to accidentally fall for him for his stupid act. 
“No.” You started packing your book into your bag, not looking at him.
“Then at least let me act as if I had fallen for you, you won’t have to do anything, just help me out to put the act together, so it looks convincing enough for George, c’mon, Y/N, you know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” You let your eyelids fall a little more over your eyes while he speaks. “It’s either this or I am going to do something even more stupid.” 
You let your head lull back.
“Alright.” you sight. “But.” You quickly state. “Embarrass me, Weasley, and you will have two people not talking to you.” He rolls his eyes and then determinedly looks at you. 
“Okay, so how am I supposed to pull this off?” You look at him in frustration. “What? I need step by step guidance.”
“I am gonna tell you this once. You miss it, I won’t repeat it. It is extremely stupid and why do I even… Aren’t you like a huge flirt and tease? Why would I need to teach you how…” He gave you a warning look and you shut yourself up real quick. “Oh, for Merlin's sake, okay.” 
He nodded. You gave yourself a moment to think it through, and he let you, keeping everything he wanted to say to himself. 
“Because this will be coming from literally nowhere, you must be really subtle at first.” He opened his mouth to say something but you interrupted him. “ I know, you don’t know how to be subtle, so just gaze at me from time to time during the dinner or whenever you’ll be sure George notices.” 
“So all I have to do is just look at you from time to time?”
“No, you muppet. I called it a gaze for a reason. You know? Staring at someone you find admiring?” He slightly shook his head, his ginger hair falling over his brown eyes. “Or just someone you find unbelievably pretty?” He still looked at you a bit dumbfounded. “Fred, you do it when you think about Quidditch and pranks.” He smirked, red tinting his cheeks. 
“Okay, loverrr…” you deliberately said the last word as slowly as possible, teasing him intentionally, hoping he might have a change of heart and call this plan off.  “We will call this “Act Number One.” In case you fail convincing George with this one, we will move on to the “Act Number Two.” Where you will seek close proximity.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Step over the line with this one, Fred, and I will hex you.” 
He raises his hand into the air. “Whatever you’ll say, Ma’am.” 
“You will have to be subtle with this too. Otherwise it will just be whatever you do here, in Hogwarts on a daily basis. Try to sit next to me when the dinner is ready, try and fix my hair slightly or something, you will figure it out as you go.Then there is gonna be “Act Number Three”, I believe, you will need no assistance on this one - teasing. No comment on this one. I think this should do the job.”  You look at him blankly, something about this makes you irritated and anxious. 
“And what if after all of this, he still won’t be on no speaking terms with me?” 
“Then an actor's career won't be suitable for you.” 
Act Nr. 1
Your stay at The Burrow began shortly after the plan was devised. You had urged Fred to attempt a conversation with George before enacting the plan, and in the presence of Molly and Arthur, all appeared well between the brothers, they even shared a joke about Ron’s owl Gigwidgeon. However, once left alone, their relationship reverted to its former state. And you knew that it was a matter of hours before Freds attempt at Act One.
And indeed, your prediction proved accurate. The scene unfolded during dinner, just as you had anticipated. While engaged in conversation with Ginny, who sat to your right, Arthur kindly addressed you, prompting you to look left, up at him.
“Y/N, Fred shared the fact that your mother is a muggle,” you nodded looking at him. “How fascinating.” Arthur remarked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. “I recently got a hold on this little thing..” he reached for his jacket pocket and pulled out a cigarette. “What exactly is this?” He held it with the tips of his thumb and forefinger as if it was a little wand. “I’ve seen it ignite flames. Is it some sort of muggle magic wand, huh?”
You couldn't help but giggle at Arthur's question, but your attention soon shifted to Molly, who cast her husband a warning glance. Unbeknownst to you, Fred's focus shifted to you, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he observed the interaction. 
“Not quite, Mr. Weasley,” you replied with a smile. “It's called a cigarette. It contains an addictive substance called nicotine, which people often smoke to alleviate stress or tension.”
“Really, Dad,” Bill interjected with a laugh, “Mum will be reaching for one of those every time you mention something from the Muggle world at the dinner table.”
Suddenly, Fred erupted into laughter, his eyes dancing with amusement as he directed his gaze towards you. “Well, would you look at that,” he exclaimed, drawing the attention of everyone at the table, yet his eyes were locked on you. “Our dear Y/N, the epitome of innocence, enlightening our dear old Dad about the vices of the Muggle realm.”
You shook slightly, your eyes widening a bit. What was he doing? But he only laughed at your widened eyes, the mischievous glint in his eyes indicating that he was teasing you, trying to uplift the mood at the table.
As the Weasleys' laughter filled the room, you felt a warmth spread through you, despite the slight embarrassment of being the center of attention. 
Ginny shot Fred a knowing look, her lips curling into a smirk. "Looks like someone's enjoying themselves a bit too much," she teased, earning another round of laughter from the group.
Fred caught your confused look as you were about to mouth him to watch what he’s doing, but he only winked at you. 
After the dinner you jumped quickly on your legs to help Molly. When you went to roll up your sleeves to wash the dishes, Molly quickly stopped you with a light touch and smiled kindly. “Honey, the magic will take care of that, go ahead and rest on the couch with everybody.” She rushed you to the living room. 
You turned back to look at the rest of the family: Arthur was explaining to Bill about some corruption that involved the Ministry of Magic and Gringotts Wizarding Bank; Ron and George were playing the wizards chess on the floor and by the look on George's face - Ron was winning. Ginny picked up a plate of cookies, murmuring that these were Percy’s favorite, so she had to offer some of him, so he wouldn’t starve himself to death with whatever he was doing as an exemplary Head Boy; and Fred seemed nowhere to be found. 
You turned back to Molly. “My mother always said that magic was too precious to use it on simple daily tasks, that could simply be managed by humans.” She smiled gently at you and her eyes lifted a bit from your eyes. 
At that exact moment you felt a heavy chins presence on your right shoulder. You turned your head towards it to see Fred's untidy red hair that was brushing your cheek slightly.
"Fred," you greeted softly, turning your head to meet his gaze.
His brown eyes sparkled with mischief as he grinned down at you. 
"Hey there," he whispered, his voice low and intimate despite the bustling room around you.
A sense of ease washed over you in his company, a feeling you'd grown accustomed to over the years of friendship. 
"Thought I'd join the party," he quipped, his breath warm against your ear.
“Go rest, you two,” Molly interrupted, “while I go and see where to lay you, Y/N. I hope you sharing a room with Ginny would be alright.” 
“It’s perfectly fine. Thank you, Molly.” 
Fred feigned a dramatic sigh, before nudging you gently towards the living room. 
“You are not following the plan, Fred, you ran over all of the acts in one day.” you scolded him, but he laughed loudly. 
“Y/N, darling, when was I ever following the rules?” 
Act Nr. 2
For a couple of days, the plan appeared to be on hold. The Weasley children found themselves occupied with various tasks around The Burrow, and you willingly lent a hand wherever needed.
Whether it was assisting Molly with preparing meals in the bustling kitchen, helping Arthur mend a fence in the ramshackle backyard, or joining Ron and Ginny in tending to the garden, you immersed yourself in the daily rhythm of life at The Burrow. Once or twice you caught Fred gazing at you while he took a little break to drink some water or just to catch a breath. 
However after the evening to a hold on the house and everybody seemed to be resting, gathered in the cozy living room of The Burrow, Fred subtly initiated Act Nr. 2 of the plan. With George engrossed in a conversation with Ron about Quidditch tactics, Fred seized the opportunity to position himself strategically closer to you on the worn-out couch.
With a casual yet deliberate movement, he shifted slightly, allowing his arm to brush against yours. You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow in silent amusement at his subtle maneuver. His response was a barely perceptible smirk, a silent acknowledgment of his progress in the plan. 
Every now and then, he would lean in slightly, as if to share a secret or a whispered joke, his breath tickling your ear. Each time, you couldn't help but smile at his playful antics, a silent agreement between you to maintain the facade of blossoming feelings.
Just then, George's voice cut through the jovial atmosphere, interrupting the conversation about Quidditch tactics. "Oi, Fred," he called out, his tone tinged with a hint of mischief. "You're looking a bit too comfortable there, mate. Planning on falling asleep, are you?"
Fred's smirk widened, as if he had anticipated this exchange beforehand. He shot a playful glance at George, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Can't blame a bloke for seeking a bit of comfort, can you?" he retorted, his tone light-hearted.
George chuckled, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "Well, just don't go drooling on her shoulder, mate," he teased, earning a round of laughter from the others in the room.
You couldn't help but join in the laughter, though you felt a slight flush creeping up your cheeks at the playful banter. Fred's proximity and the teasing exchange sent a pleasant warmth coursing through you, despite the teasing scrutiny of the Weasley twins.
Although, ironically, as the evening wore on, the warmth of the fire and the gentle hum of conversation lulled you into a comfortable state of relaxation. Despite your best efforts to stay alert and engaged in the lively discussion, the cozy ambiance of The Burrow proved too inviting, and you found your eyelids growing heavy.
Unbeknownst to you, Fred noticed the subtle droop of your head as you began to nod off, a small smile playing on his lips at the sight. He leaned closer, discreetly adjusting his position to offer you more support, ensuring you were comfortable.
Meanwhile, George shot Fred a knowing grin, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he observed your gradual descent into sleep. "Looks like someone's had a long day," he remarked sotto voce, his tone filled with gentle jest.
Fred nodded in agreement, his gaze softening as he watched you drift off into slumber, a sense of warmth and protectiveness washing over him. He couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for you, his best friend, as he silently vowed to ensure you rested undisturbed for the remainder of the evening. 
That was how Act Number two acted out. 
Act Nr. 3?
You were seated on the kitchen table, a steaming cup of coffee cradled in your hands, lost in thought as you gazed out the window. You sent Molly off from the kitchen.
Outside, Molly stood with her hands on her hips, a hint of exasperation evident in her flushed face. Before her, Ginny, George and Bill exchanged mischievous grins, their laughter ringing out like bells in the crisp winter air.
“Are you two crazy? No scarves, no hats on. You are going to get sick.” She urged her children to get back in and dress properly for the weather. 
In a moment of playful rebellion, George scooped up a handful of snow and molded it into a perfectly packed snowball. With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he took aim and let it fly, intending to playfully tease his mother.
But fate had other plans.
In a twist of irony, just as Molly turned to face her son, the snowball found its mark, striking her squarely in the face with an unexpected impact. Time froze for a moment, the air thick with disbelief, before erupting into uproarious laughter, Molly's angry face told them enough and they all turned to get back inside. 
“Had a good night's sleep, Y/n?” George's voice rang out as he entered through the door, his laughter trailing behind him like a mischievous echo. He shook his hair, sending a flurry of snow cascading onto the floor, much to Molly's disapproval.
Your cheeks flushed slightly as you slid off from the table, reaching for the teapot and mugs to distract yourself. "Alright," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, though your embarrassment spoke volumes.
"Only alright? I thought Fred tucked you in quite nicely." George's laughter filled the room, rich and hearty, as he winked at you. His playful jab struck a nerve, eliciting a mixture of amusement and discomfort. You turned away, feeling the weight of his teasing words lingering in the air, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within you.
As soon as they all settled down to enjoy a cup of tea, you seized the opportunity to slip away, making a beeline for Fred's whereabouts. But as you ascended up the stairs, he was going down, so you practically ran into each other.
"Oh, good," you exhaled, relief flooding through you at the sight of him. "I was looking for you."
Fred's smirk widened as he halted on the step above  you, closing the distance between you almost imperceptibly. "Slept well?" he inquired, his tone laced with amusement.
Your brow furrowed slightly as you struggled to articulate your thoughts, the urgency to convey your concerns  before the family downstairs didn’t get any ideas as to why you were standing on the stairs a moment too long. "Yeah, look," you began, your words tumbling out in a rush. "Why won’t you give this plan a little break? You seem to be talking again with George, and with the plan advancing at this pace, soon enough everybody will be asking about the relationship that doesn't exist."
"Darling, breathe," Fred intervened, his hands gently finding purchase on your shoulders as he chuckled. "You only fell asleep on me, so what? You’ve done this a million times in the common room, what’s the difference? But if you want to give it a breather, it’s fine too," he reassured, his expression softening with understanding.
However, instead of finding solace in his words, you recoiled slightly, evading his touch as you took a step back. His hands fell away from your shoulders, hanging awkwardly in the space between you as you sidestepped past him, eager to retreat to the safety of Ginny and your shared bedroom. 
Fred's brow furrowed in concern as he watched you retreat, a pang of unease tugging at his heart. He hadn't anticipated that his attempt to reassure you would only seem to exacerbate your anxiety. For a fleeting moment, he considered reaching out to you again, wanting to offer further comfort, but he held back, sensing that you needed space.
Meanwhile, you hurriedly made your way to the bedroom you shared with Ginny, seeking refuge from the whirlwind of emotions that had been stirred up by your encounter with Fred. Once inside the familiar space, you sat on your bed burying your face in your hands, closing your eyes briefly as you attempted to steady your breathing.
You have indeed fallen asleep on each of the twins at least ten twenty times during your years at Hogwarts. And not once has the teasing afterwards bother you, but something about today sent you reeling. You were blushing madly and wished that that would stop. Maybe the whole plan you helped to build, was turning against you, and each, and every time Fred paid attention to you, finally started playing with your head. 
You promised yourself to be a little more careful after that. 
Act Nr. 4 - the improvised part. 
The same night, you were roused from sleep by a gentle hand shaking your shoulder.
“Hey, Y/N, you up?” Fred's voice, soft and filled with excitement, whispered through the darkness as he continued to shake you awake.
You groaned in annoyance, feeling disoriented from being pulled out of sleep. “What is it?” you muttered, your voice tinged with irritation.
“Remember that star we told you about? The one me and George discovered last summer?” Fred's tone was eager, like a child on Christmas morning, and you realized where this was headed.
“Yeah,” you replied, still half-asleep and struggling to grasp why he was waking you up in the middle of the night for a star.
“Well, come on. I found it again,” he urged, his excitement palpable even in the dim light of the room.
You hesitated, feeling reluctant to leave the warmth of your bed for a star. “Why would you wake me up for a star, Fred? It's just a star,” you grumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
But Fred was undeterred, his enthusiasm contagious as he handed you a pair of special goggles and gently grasped your wrist, guiding you outside into the chilly night air.
“Put these on and look straight up from where you're standing,” he instructed, his grip firm yet gentle as he positioned you in the right spot.
With a sigh, you relented, slipping the enchanted goggles over your eyes and following Fred's guidance. As you gazed upward, your breath caught in your throat at the sight before you.
The darkness of the night sky was transformed into a mesmerizing display of swirling colors, reminiscent of oil puddles reflecting light from muggle cars. It reminded you of the evening sky as the sun finally starts to set, bringing out the most vivid colors. The bright colors danced and twirled around in the  star and all around it, creating an ethereal display that seemed to defy explanation. Shades of deep indigo melted into vibrant hues of sapphire and emerald, while streaks of crimson and gold streaked across the dark sky.
“Pretty, ain’t it?” asked Fred while you watched the view in silence. You took the goggles off and looked up again, seeing only small, little stars shining above you. “Well the other ones do not look that extraordinary, but somehow that one does. And it comes up like three  or four times a year. It’s a miracle it came up over your stay here.” 
You turned to look at him. “It's really beautiful, Fred. I’m glad you woke me up.” 
He gently stroked your arms to make you a little bit warmer as you continued to shake due to the cold of the winter's night. 
When Fred retrieved back into his room, he smiled like a dumbass. When you got back inside you asked him if he had named that star and with a gentle smile he asked you to come up with a name for it. 
“Where have you been?” Apparently George wasn’t asleep when Fred got back, and curiosity won over George.  
“Out.” 
“You showed her the star, didn’t you?” George chuckled slightly when his brother removed his clothing and fell backwards into his bed. “I noticed it appeared again yesterday.”
“I might have done that, yes.” Fred admitted with a sheepish grin.
George laughed. “Told her what you named it?” 
“No, that would’ve been a bit embarrassing.” 
George laughed loudly but then quickly stopped, before waking the whole house up. “You're  hopeless, man. But I am happy for you.” 
Fred quickly turned his head to look at his brother, even though through the dark he could only make out his silhouette. “So? Are you back on speaking terms with me?” 
“Yeah, mate,” George chuckled, “I realized I was being dumb.”
Fred was happy. He genuinely was, but something about coming back to terms with his brother stopped him from feeling completely pleased with the situation. 
Act Nr. 5
Act 5 unfolded on a brisk afternoon a couple of days later. The sun was casting long shadows across the snow-dusted grounds of The Burrow. The Weasleys were involved in their own activities. You specifically were interested in another bewitched muggle artifact Arthur promptly told you about, then he went on reading the letter from the Ministry again, completely forgetting about telling you anything afterwards.  So you sat at the kitchen table, engrossed in a book. As you finally coughed up to where you left off, Fred entered the room with a lopsided grin.
"Hey, Y/N," he greeted, his voice warm and inviting.
You glanced up from your book, offering him a small smile in return. "Hey, Fred. What's up?"
"I was thinking," he began, his tone casual yet tinged with excitement, "why don't we take a walk outside? It's a perfect day for it."
Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. "A walk? Now?"
Fred nodded eagerly. "Yeah, come on. It'll be fun. We can explore the woods behind The Burrow. I heard there's a hidden clearing with the most amazing view."
Despite your initial skepticism, you found yourself unable to resist Fred's infectious enthusiasm. With a shrug, you closed your book and rose from the table. "Alright, why not? Lead the way."
As you ventured into the woods together, Fred regaled you with stories and anecdotes, his laughter echoing through the trees. With each step, you felt yourself relaxing in his company.
Eventually, you reached the hidden clearing Fred had mentioned, and you couldn't help but gasp in awe at the breathtaking view before you. The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a golden hue over the landscape, while a gentle breeze whispered through the trees.
"It's beautiful," you murmured, your eyes scanning the scenery.
Fred grinned, his gaze fixed on you. "Not as beautiful as you," he replied softly.
You froze, your heart skipping a beat at his words. But before you could respond, George's voice rang out from behind you.
"Hey, lovebirds!" he called, his tone teasing. "What are you two up to?"
Your confusion turned to disappointment as you realized that Fred's affectionate words were likely just another one of his improvised acts. With a forced smile, you turned to face your friend, masking your disappointment behind a facade of nonchalance.
"Just enjoying the view," you replied, your voice lacking its usual warmth.”Care to join?”
As George joined you in the clearing, the moment between you and Fred faded into the background, leaving you grappling with the lingering sting of disappointment and confusion.
As the days passed quickly in The Burrow, the atmosphere seemed to settle into a familiar rhythm, apart from that, the twins seemed to get back into their close relationship, which made you extremely happy. 
Once or twice Fred would act out your made up plan and gaze at you during the day at dinner or whenever you were near each other. You, of course, didn’t expect anything more than that, understanding that now the two brothers were back to their old selves and your interactions with Fred were purely out of keeping the act just for George. But that did not change the fact that the shift happened within you. You spend more and more time thinking how everything will play out in the end when you get back to Hogwarts. How you will be sitting there, in the common room, pretending not to notice how Fred flirts with other girls and then returns to you to boast about it. This held a tight grip over your heart, making your chest feel heavy. 
There you were, sitting on the couch, watching Ron make the wrong move and lose his bishop in the process, Ginny bobbing her head happily whilst laying on the ground.  
“George just now told me that you don’t know how to play chess,” Fred sat down next to you, accidentally knocking several chess figures of the ground. 
“OIII!” Ron shouted. “Watch what you’re doing.” 
“Sorry, mate.” Fred laughed and dramatically reached for the queen on the ground and put it back on board in the wrong spot. “Y/N?”
“Hmm?” You turned to him, shifting back from your thoughts to reality. 
Fred raised his eyebrow and laughed. “What were you thinking so deeply about? Me?” he teased and you felt his hand reach for your own. As he tried to intervene your fingers together you quickly pulled your arm away from him and stood up. No matter how angry this made you, you tried not to give it away.  You felt sickened to your stomach. The action was small. But for some reason it was enough for you. This went too far, the act he was doing and suddenly there was no going back, everything went from too early to too late to stop this stupid lie, and the only thing you dreaded for - happened. It was your own fault, you agreed to this.
“Just remembered, I haven’t reached out for my parents for a while now,” you mumbled and left the room to actually write to your parents and ask if you could get back home from The Burrow earlier than planned. 
The Finale 
You were folding your clothes and putting them back in your trunk, while Ginny watched you from her bed. 
“Did they really ask you to go back home?” She asked once again in disbelief. You nodded. “They always let you stay as long as you want.”
“Yeah, I guess something happened back home.” You lied without looking back up at her. 
“Did you tell Fred? That you’re going back home?” She sat up, while you stopped packing and thought for a moment whether you should tell her the truth. “You haven’t,” she said, quite shocked. “Why? The boy’s going to go mad.” 
“I really don’t think so,” you mumbled.
“But he will tho,” spoke George standing in between the door, his arms crossed on his chest, he looked disappointed. 
You paused, feeling the weight of George's words sinking in. Despite your efforts to convince yourself otherwise, deep down, you knew he was right. Fred would indeed be affected by your departure, you were his best friend, nevertheless. 
Ginny shot her twin a sympathetic glance before turning back to you. "He's right, you know. Fred may not show it, but he'll definitely be upset."
You sighed, feeling a pang of guilt gnawing at your conscience. "I know," you admitted reluctantly. "But I need to sort things out back home."
“No, you don’t.” Said George again firmly. He looked quite mad now. “Considering the fact that it was you, who asked your parents to go back home early, not the other way around.”
“Uhmm… How do you?...” You stammered, caught off guard by George's accusation. His words hung in the air, heavy with accusation and disbelief.
Ginny's expression softened, her eyes filled with concern as she glanced between you and George. "George, calm down," she interjected gently, trying to diffuse the tension that crackled in the room.
But George remained undeterred, his gaze fixed firmly on you. "How do I know?" he repeated, his voice low and intense. "Because you accidentally used the quill we use for pranks. It creates two messages as it writes, one to your recipient, second to its owner,  and that would be me and Fred, only I got the hold of the message first.”
You hid your face in your hands, embarrassed. 
“Then,” George continued, “I assumed Fred had done something stupid once again and pressed him until he told me everything, And when I say everything, I mean it. Merlin's beard, Y/N, I thought Fred was daft, but turns out this friendship with us made you daft too.”
“Ummmm?” Ginny interrupted. “Mind to elaborate a little bit?” 
Ginny's interruption brought a momentary pause to the tense atmosphere in the room. George sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the right words.
"Well," he began, glancing at you briefly before continuing, "apparently our dear Y/N here concocted a plan to get Fred and me talking again. She thought we needed a little nudge to mend our relationship, so she came up with this whole scheme of them faking a relationship."
Ginny's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You did what?" she exclaimed, turning to you with a mixture of disbelief and curiosity.
“First of all,” you raised your finger angrily at George, “ it wasn’t my idea, Fred came up with it. Secondly, it wasn’t a fake relationship,” you said angrily, “it was for you to believe he had feelings for me so you would drop your stupid not talking to Fred phase, because you thought he was still in love with your girlfriend. So in the end, who is to blame?” you asked him. 
Ginny looked from you to George. She was sitting dumbfounded, and if it wasn’t for the angry looks on your and George's faces, she would’ve started laughing. 
“Okay, it was stupid, I agree with you,” George mumbled. “But you're as thick as it gets, Y/N.”
“Why am I the thick one?” 
“Because you actually thought Fred would fake having feelings for you,” these words from George stung like a slap in the face, the truth of them hitting you harder than you anticipated. You felt a surge of embarrassment and hurt wash over you, realizing how naively you had fallen for Fred's act. It was a bitter pill to swallow. Even Ginny’s mouth fell open. 
“George…” she murmured silently. 
“What? Wasn’t he like in love with her for a couple of years?” He said angrily. “And then you,” he pointed towards you, “went on and let him continue this charade and now because you can’t take it anymore, you’re leaving. Of course this is going to upset him.”
You tried to say something, you really tried, but words just did not form inside your head. 
Thank the spirits, cause it was Ginny who spoke after. “No, George, wait. I don’t think she knew.” 
You met Ginny's eyes, grateful for her unwavering support in this moment of turmoil. 
“I… I didn’t know,” you finally managed to utter, your voice barely above a whisper, but each word weighed heavy with sincerity. “I didn’t realize... I thought...” Your voice trailed off, the words catching in your throat as you struggled to articulate the whirlwind of emotions that churned within you. “I genuinely thought that he was doing it for you. I was leaving because I didn’t want to…” the words died out from your mouth and you didn’t finish your sentence. 
“I didn’t want to end up hurt afterwards. I assumed he only saw me as his best friend and the act would die out eventually when we got back to Hogwarts.” 
The snort from George interrupted the silence that followed after your sentence. “You and Fred must be two of the dumbest people I know. Y/N, he named a star after you, you were more than his best friend for a while now.” 
“Oi, mate, not nice to throw me under the bus like that,”  Fred quipped, entering the room with a lopsided grin.
You turned to him, quite in shock. 
“And I think this is our cue to leave,” said Ginny gently, sending a wink to you and grabbing George by his forearm to lead him out of the room. 
“Complete idiots,” George managed to yell whilst leaving. 
Fred chuckled, stepping closer to you. "Ignore him, love. He's just jealous because he hasn't named a star after anyone yet."
“I am extremely confused, Fred.” 
Fred's grin softened into a gentle smile as he reached out to take your hand in his and intervene your fingers together. He smiled as you let him. "I know, Y/N. It's been a bit of a mess, hasn't it?"
You nodded, still trying to process everything that had unfolded.
"I promise to explain everything properly," Fred reassured you, his eyes earnest and sincere. 
Fred took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before he began to explain. "Okay, so... I know this whole situation might seem incredibly confusing, but there are a few things you need to know." He paused, searching your eyes for any sign of understanding before continuing.
"Firstly, yes, I did come up with the plan to pretend to have feelings for you, but it wasn't just to mend things between George and me. It was also because..." He hesitated, his expression turning earnest. "Well, because I actually thought I might kill two birds with one stone.”
Confusion flickered across your face as you processed his words. "What do you mean?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Fred took a deep breath, steeling himself before he continued. "I mean, yes, the initial idea was to help George and me patch things up by making him think I had feelings for you. But... it was also a way for me to... explore my own feelings for you."
Your breath caught in your throat as his words sank in. "You mean... you actually do have feelings for me?" you asked, your voice barely audible.
Fred nodded, his gaze unwavering as he met your eyes. "Yeah, I do. I've liked you for a while now, Y/N. I just didn't know how to tell you."
Emotions swirled inside you, a mixture of disbelief, confusion, and a flicker of hope. "But... why didn't you just tell me?" you asked, your voice trembling with emotion.
Fred sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I was scared, Y/N. Before our friendship even began, you seemed to be annoyed everytime I approached you. I am not even going to mention the looks you gave me when I tried to flirt with you. Then I dropped it, I thought you weren’t interested and it proved me right, cause quickly after you joined our trio. (A/N: We can not forget our Lee.)”
“I thought you saw me as one of these girls you always flirt with, I thought you were being a tease for your own entertainment.” 
Fred's expression softened as he listened to your words, a tinge of regret coloring his features. "Y/N, I understand why you might have thought that. And I'm sorry if I ever gave you that impression.”
“But why did George think you were still into Angelina?” 
“Because before you came into the picture I kinda liked her. And we got along pretty well, I just did not realize at the time she was being extra friendly with me, cause she liked George. Then you came along and my feelings changed. I mentioned them to George once or twice and then dropped it. Didn’t want to annoy him, didn’t want to hear him tease me when you joined our friend group. When he fell for Angelina, he must’ve overthought everything. But he kinda put everything together after I returned to our room after I showed you your star.” He raised his free hand and gently tucked your stray strand of hair over your ear, and then pressed his hand over your cheek, to which you leaned in. 
“Pretty soon after you arrived, you fell asleep on me, literally in front of everybody,” you closed your eyes in embarrassment as he spoke, he started softly caressing your cheek, “I thought you finally started to catch on, but you asked me to put the plan on hold, and I genuinely got scared I was pushing you away with the way I acted.” 
“I am so sorry for not catching on sooner, for avoiding you…” you tried to explain yourself, but Fred interrupted you. 
Fred shook his head, his expression tender. "No apologies necessary, Y/N. You did what I asked you. I hope you will now understand that everything was sincere.” 
You closed your eyes again and as lovingly as possible said, “And I hope you will understand that I sincerely fell for you.”
He laughed as he leaned in closer, “I got that while you were having a little chit chat with my brother, otherwise it would’ve been me who stayed over with the gnomes.” He looked deeply into your eyes as if asking if it was alright, you slightly nodded, so he closed that little space that was left between you and kissed you. 
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angel-of-the-moons · 6 months
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pavitr who can reads minds and he accidentally reads reader mind and it's just full of horny thoughts abt him ngl
Okay okay this one is like such a neat idea because I remember in the comics (I haven't read in forever) that Miguel could do this! So... Omfg poor Pavitr!!!
Intrusive Thoughts
Pavitr Prabhakar x Spider-Person!Reader
Because I'm tired of repeating myself: PAVITR IS AGED UP IN THIS FIC
TW/CW: Horny thoughts, NSFW, bit of smut, our poor boy was not prepared.
MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME
A/N: This is shorter than my usual fics, but like asdfghjkl omfg it was fun.
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He wasn't sure why he developed this power. Miguel seemed at a loss and told him maybe it was a delayed mutation brought on by his spider bite.
Miguel had been coaching him on how to control the influx of thoughts that bombarded him, how to tune them out, how to focus on specific thoughts in particular. It honestly made it easier in some ways to fight, not just relying on his Spidey senses.
But... He couldn't help but be curious... He wanted to know what you, his partner (in every sense of the word) thought of him.
Pavitr was not prepared for that.
Your brain was...
He expected the innocent thoughts, how you thought his smile was cute, what were you going to make for dinner, etcetera...
But what he didn't expect to hear or see?
The thoughts swirling through your brain about him and you, naked. Doing... All sorts of things. Together or alone.
The thoughts of him pressing you down into your bed, fucking you relentlessly from behind as he kissed your shoulder.
You on top, riding him like your life depended on it.
In the backseat of your car, you grinding your hips down on his, feeling him twitch inside of you as your muscles squeezed him like a vice.
On the couch, biting into the cushions to stifle your moans and cries as he fucked you.
Him laying you on the table, on his knees, using his mouth and tongue on you until your brain couldn't work and your vision blanked out on you.
In the shower, pinning you to the wall as he slides in and out of you, the hot water slicking your skin and helping him glide in and out of your greedy hole.
The sweet, charming things he'd moan and hiss through his teeth and into your ear.
Pavitr Prabhakar was not prepared. He was thankful he was wearing his mask, otherwise he was positive someone would have taken notice of the bright red pigment that had taken over his tanned skin.
You were sitting in the cafeteria of HQ, eating your lunch, pretending to read the book in your hand, looking so innocent despite the impure thoughts that were at the forefront of your mind.
He almost jumped out of his skin when Miguel tapped on his shoulder.
"Yeah, that's why I don't read minds unless it's necessary." He said, leaning down to Pavitr's level to talk quietly to him.
"I--I can't even--" Pavitr sputtered. "How did you--?!"
"You've been standing there, ramrod straight for almost ten minutes. I can hear your heart rate up." Miguel sighed, standing up straight and crossing his arms. He didn't seem too uncomfortable by the subject. Just how many times as he heard thoughts like these from other people?
"And yeah, lesson for the future, don't read your lover's mind in public. Things are going to shock you." He patted Pavitr on the shoulder, a bored expression on his face before he walked away.
When Pavitr looked back at you, you were staring at him. Oh, so innocent-looking.
When you'd disposed of the rubbish of your meal, Pavitr whisked you away to speak to you privately.
"Pav? What's wrong?" You asked curiously.
He checked the area, making sure nobody was listening; before gripping your shoulders and giving you a light shake, his voice sounding almost traumatized and shell-shocked:
"WHY ARE YOU SO VILLAINOUSLY HORNY?!"
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